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discar · 8 months ago

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HZD Terraforming Base-001 Text Communications Network

Chapter 44 (non-canon omake) | Prev chapter | Next chapter Chapter Index

[FlameHairSavior], [Zo], [BoyNextDoor], [HIMBO], [MARSHAL Kotallo], [β], and [DIVINER] have joined [PZD Alpha Group Chat]

Captain_RobotKiller: ...did we just get hacked?

BigMama: Travis, what did you do.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Wasn't me, boss!

MARSHAL Kotallo: Wait, what just happened?

DIVINER: Hello new people!

HIMBO: I DON'T SEE ANYONE ELSE AT THE BASE.

β: i thought you didnt give anyone else focuses

BoyNextDoor: I definitely didn't.

MARSHAL Kotallo: We appear to have suffered a security breach, do not treat this lightly.

BigMama: YOU suffered a security breach? This is a private military network, your actions constitute treason in EVERY existing nation.

Zo: ...I think we have some irrigation crossed.

Kitty_StopCallingMeThatTravis: Travis, what did you do?

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Still wasn't me!

DIVINER: Maybe we could talk instead of yelling?

ShennyShen: Hi! I'm Margo Shen!

ShennyShen: But you probably already know that because you hacked into our network!

ShennyShen: Why did you do that, btw?

DoctorKilljoy: I'm fairly certain it was to spy, Margo.

ShennyShen: I don't think spies announce their presence on the group chat, though?

Zo: Aloy, PLEASE tell me you're reading this.

FlameHairSavior: Glinthawks, can't reply.

FlameHairSavior: I'm here though.

RobertFrostWasA_HACK: We are definitely missing something important here.

Zo: I'm sorry that we intruded, but we don't know how we connected to your network.

BoyNextDoor: Alva, these aren't your people?

DIVINER: Nope!

β: im checking things ill figure it out

Zo: Or we can just ask the nice people a few reasonable questions and open a dialogue.

BigMama: I don't know what sort of prank you're playing, but we don't have time for it.

MARSHAL Kotallo: I was about to say something very similar.

FlameHairSavior: Okay, I'm back, everything is dead.

ShennyShen: ????

FlameHairSavior: Who are you people, and how did we get connected to your network?

FlameHairSavior: You don't sound like Eclipse.

BigMama: This is the non-emergency group chat for the project leads assigned to Project Zero Dawn.

BigMama: I am Dr. Elizabet Sobeck, project head.

MARSHAL Kotallo: ...

HIMBO: HUH.

Zo: Um. Well.

BoyNextDoor: wbiufdb lhjasljbu

Zo: Yes, that summarizes my thoughts on the matter.

FlameHairSavior: All right, joke's over.

FlameHairSavior: Who are you and how the FUCK do you know that name.

Zo: Aloy! Beta's here!

β: i know curse words how old do you think i am

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Fuck yeah, kid!

BigMama: Travis, NOT the time.

BigMama: If you people do not start explaining yourselves IMMEDIATELY, I am going to let Travis hack you back into the Stone Age.

FlameHairSavior: Beta, are these your people?

β: i dont think so the data doesnt look familiar

β: besides none of them have called us worms or scum or given us orders

BoyNextDoor: The person who may or may not be Elisabeth Sobeck gave us orders.

HIMBO: I THINK THAT'S MORE OF A DEMAND.

FlameHairSavior: Can you trace them back to wherever they're broadcasting from?

β: i can try

FlameHairSavior: Good. I'll pay them a visit.

DIVINER: Please don't kill them!

FlameHairSavior: I might not kill them.

BigMama: Okay, this has gone on long enough. GAIA, please execute standard intruder purge protocol.

FlameHairSavior: Wait, you know about GAIA?

BigMama: Of course I do. How do YOU know about GAIA?

BigMama: And how are you still here? She should have completed the purge by now.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Uh, Lis? I'm kiiiinda not getting any answer from GAIA or any of her subordinate functions.

Zo: Aloy, I'm in GAIA's chamber right now, and she's not answering.

ShennyShen: You're where?? I'm in the main AI core, and there's no one else here!

β: uh

β: so

β: i tried to trace the hacks and

β: things got weird

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Yeah, I'm with the kid who or may not be too young to know fuck words.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: If this is a hack, it's the weirdest one I've ever seen.

FlameHairSavior: I'm on my way back. What's wrong?

β: i cant find any trace of a hack

β: and the metadata says that theyre all texting from a thousand years ago

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Yeah, that's pretty much the same on my end.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Except the new people are texting from a thousand years in the future.

HIMBO: WELL, SHIT.

HIMBO: I'M NOT DRUNK ENOUGH FOR THIS.

BoyNextDoor: All-Mother's eyes, hands, and soul.

HIMBO: I'VE GOT AN ALE WITH YOUR NAME ON IT DOWN HERE.

BigMama: Travis, what EXACTLY are you saying?

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Time travel, boss. They're from the future.

DoctorKilljoy: This is fascinating on a thousand different levels.

RobertFrostWasA_HACK: And existentially terrifying on a thousand more.

DoctorKilljoy: Well, yes, there is some of that as well.

DrPBK: It means we succeeded, does it not? Humanity survived.

DIVINER: Weeeell...

ShennyShen: Oh god. You're aliens, aren't you?

HIMBO: WHAT? LIKE FROM ANOTHER CONTINENT?

MARSHAL Kotallo: Alva is the only one of us not from the local continent.

DIVINER: We really need to have that movie night because you are missing SO MUCH context!

DIVINER: Also I think Beta might technically be an alien?

BoyNextDoor: She's still locked in her loom and this isn't helping.

RobertFrostWasA_HACK: ...loom?

Zo: He uses autocorrect.

RobertFrostWasA_HACK: Ah.

DIVINER: But, uh...

DIVINER: Honored ancestors? (do you still count as ancestors when we haven't been born yet?)

PuppyParade: Speaking as an evolutionary biologist, yes.

PuppyParade: It makes discussion of inheritence easier.

PuppyParade: Though it usually doesn't involve time travel.

DIVINER: You all seem to be taking this rather well??

Kitty_StopCallingMeThatTravis: Speaking personally, there's only so much existential dread you can take before it just starts washing over you.

Captain_RobotKiller: I believe Elisabet might be having a panic attack in her office, though.

BoyNextDoor: Yeah, Beta has locked her door again.

Zo: And I suspect Aloy has gotten into another fight.

FlameHairSavior: Fighting is easier than talking.

Zo: PLEASE don't text and fight at the same time.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Ha! That sounds like something the boss would do.

HIMBO: LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTERS, I GUESS.

BigMama: ...I'm sorry, WHAT?

Zo: By all the songs, Erend...

HIMBO: OOPS.

ShennyShen: Elisabet has daughters??

BigMama: I certainly do not.

DrPBK: And if it has been a thousand years, I can't imagine any existing daughters would have survived. Even with some of the cutting-edge life-extension technology people have been talking about.

FlameHairSavior: Erend, I just ripped a cannon off a Thunderjaw, I'm going to come back and shoot you with it.

A.Larsen: ...I have questions.

HIMBO: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DRAG THAT THING ALL THE WAY BACK HERE, ARE YOU?

MARSHAL Kotallo: I will help.

HIMBO: TRAITOR.

ShennyShen: Wait, does "flame hair" mean red hair?? Like Elisabet??

FlameHairSavior: Erend, have I ever thanked you for this stupid display name?

HIMBO: YOU PUNCHED ME FOR IT, IF THAT COUNTS.

BigMama: If it makes you feel better, I understand the sentiment.

BigMama: Travis hacked the network so I can't change my name back.

RobertFrostWasA_HACK: Oh good, you're bonding with your daughter!

BigMama: Tanaka, please don't.

β: am i the only one worried we dont know what kind of time travel rules were working with

β: we might delete ourselves from existence if we say too much

HIMBO: WE MIGHT WHAT.

DoctorKilljoy: I don't think anyone can call themselves an expert on this subject, but I expect if that was a real danger, it would have happened already.

HIMBO: NO REALLY, WHAT?

BoyNextDoor: I'm with Erend on this, what?

β: its probably fine

FlameHairSavior: If we can change things just by texting the past, I have a list.

MARSHAL Kotallo: An excellent point. Is someone here in charge of the HEPHAESTUS system?

ShennyShen: That's me!

MARSHAL Kotallo: Are there any weaknesses in the system you can tell us?

ShennyShen: wwwwhy would you need to know that?

β: there might have been a small

β: glitch

BoyNextDoor: I thought you said glitches were accidents.

ShennyShen: What's wrong with HEPHAESTUS??

FlameHairSavior: He wants to kill us.

ShennyShen: You specifically, or...

FlameHairSavior: Us specifically, and also everyone else, specifically.

DrPBK: Can we please go back to Elisabet having daughters?

ShennyShen: Can we please stick with what's wrong with HEPHAESTUS!

FlameHairSavior: They're all crazy.

ShennyShen: Who???

FlameHairSavior: The subfunctions.

BoyNextDoor: Wasn't MINERVA fine?

FlameHairSavior: Besides being suicidal? Perfectly fine.

Captain_RobotKiller: Wait, what?

DrPBK: Miss... Aloy, was it? And Beta?

FlameHairSavior: Yes?

β: what

DrPBK: Am I to understand that you are both the result of the Lightkeeper Protocol?

BigMama: Oh god.

FlameHairSavior: Sort of. It's complicated.

BigMama: I discontinued that protocol for a reason.

FlameHairSavior: Sorry to disappoint you with our existence.

BigMama: That's not...

BigMama: I didn't mean it like that.

FlameHairSavior: Okay.

DrPBK: Elisabet canceled the Lightkeeper Protocol because she did not agree with the idea of creating generations upon generations of human beings born with the express purpose of performing a specific task. She was worried about your own lives.

Zo: Oh dear.

BoyNextDoor: Ooh.

HIMBO: OUCH.

MARSHAL Kotallo: Now that is unfortunate.

Kitty_StopCallingMeThatTravis: THAT'S a worrying reaction.

FlameHairSavior: Long story give me a sec.

β: are you fighting again

FlameHairSavior: It's fine, just some bandits harrassing a caravan.

FlameHairSavior: There are only twenty or so.

BigMama: Wait, what? Are you attacking a group of twenty people?

FlameHairSavior: They're distracted, it's no big deal.

A.Larsen: Why are there bandits at all?

ShennyShen: And why did HEPHAESTUS go crazy?

HIMBO: DON'T WORRY ABOUT ALOY, SHE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME.

BigMama: She kills people all the time?

MARSHAL Kotallo: Well, yes. But I believe Erend was referring more to saving the caravan.

DIVINER: She saved my people from our insane leader who thought he was Ted Faro reborn! (no, that doesn't make sense in our religion, he was just crazy)

DoctorKilljoy: I have multiple questions?

Zo: She saved my people as well, though that was more of a religious crisis than a practical one.

β: didnt she kill your god

Zo: It was more of a mercy.

PuppyParade: I'm with Samina on the questions.

HIMBO: SHE SAVED MERIDIAN TWICE!

BoyNextDoor: Wait, twice?

HIMBO: YEAH, THERE WAS A WHOLE THING WITH DERVAHL AND MACHINE LURES AND ALL THAT SCRAP.

FlameHairSavior: That doesn't count as saving the city.

HIMBO: JUST BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T BUILD YOU A STATUE THAT TIME DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESN'T COUNT.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Of course they built a statue!

BigMama: Not helping, Travis.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: I'm supposed to be helping?

BoyNextDoor: She saved the Sacred Lands at LEAST twice.

FlameHairSavior: I did not. I saved it exactly once, when the Eclipse attacked the second time.

BoyNextDoor: You drove them off the first time, too.

FlameHairSavior: I didn't "drive them off," they finished killing everyone and LEFT.

MARSHAL Kotallo: She saved my chief and restored the sacred Visions of my people.

DIVINER: Oh! And she saved Vegas!

FlameHairSavior: Vegas was not in actual danger, I refuse to take credit for that one.

DIVINER: You still saved it, though!!

ShennyShen: Is anyone going to explain what happened to HEPHAESTUS, or the Lightkeeper Protocol, or ANYTHING?

FlameHairSavior: Basically, GAIA needed an Alpha to open some doors, so she made one.

BoyNextDoor: That is vastly understating your own value and you know it.

Captain_RobotKiller: Why would GAIA need an Alpha? Why not use one of the new Alphas that took over in the new world?

Zo: That... wasn't an option.

Captain_RobotKiller: Why not?

HIMBO: SLAG WENT BAD.

A.Larsen: Expand on "bad."

MARSHAL Kotallo: Ted Faro is an affront to humanity and you should save yourselves a great deal of trouble by stabbing him in the heart.

A.Larsen: ...ah.

BigMama: Ted is under control.

BoyNextDoor: For now.

PuppyParade: I'm just worried that after a thousand years, people apparently STILL hate Faro. I mean, I hate him too, but I would assume it's all just history to you now.

MARSHAL Kotallo: Ted Faro is an affront to humanity and you should save ALL OF US a great deal of trouble by stabbing him in the heart.

PuppyParade: Ah.

HIMBO: ALOY REFUSED TO PISS ON HIS GRAVE.

PuppyParade: ...okay?

Zo: Maybe don't bring that up right now.

FlameHairSavior: Or ever, thanks.

Zo: Are you done with the bandits?

FlameHairSavior: Yeah, just have to talk to the caravan.

MARSHAL Kotallo: Are they Tenakth?

FlameHairSavior: Oseram escorting a Carja priest.

MARSHAL Kotallo: ...how have they possibly survived so long in the Clanlands?

FlameHairSavior: I've been listening to this guy for thirty seconds and I'm already wondering why his own guards haven't killed him yet.

DoctorKilljoy: Oh, are those new cultures? I'm curious to hear about how APOLLO influenced human development!

Zo: Samina Ebadji, I presume?

DoctorKilljoy: Yes, you know me? Did you like my introduction holo for APOLLO?

β: i did

β: it was nice

PuppyParade: How did the re-introduction of the stage two organisms go?

BoyNextDoor: That's the part where the new humans help GAIA rebuild the ecosystem, right?

PuppyParade: Part of it, yes.

BoyNextDoor: What's a puppy parade, anyway?

β: puppies are baby dogs

PuppyParade: ...why do you not know what puppies are

HIMBO: SLAG WENT BAD.

RobertFrostWasA_HACK: Dear God in Heaven, what exactly happened?

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: I've got the data.

ShennyShen: You what?

β: i sent him everything that might possibly be relevant

β: history politics that sort of thing

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: And I'm sending her everything on HEPHAESTUS, then anything else I can think of! Not sure how much it will help, but it can't hurt!

BigMama: Ah, I was wondering why you were being so quiet.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Silent and effective, that's me!

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: [MissionAccomplishedExplosion.gif]

FlameHairSavior: You're like Alva's skills with Erend's personality.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: I'll take that as a compliment!

FlameHairSavior: You shouldn't.

DIVINER: Uh, should I take that as an insult?

FlameHairSavior: Of course not, you're fine.

HIMBO: THERE IS NO WAY THIS GUY IS ANYTHING LIKE ME.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: ...why am I offended by that??

HIMBO: I'VE SEEN PICTURES. THERE'S NO WAY THIS GUY COULD EVEN LIFT A HAMMER, MUCH LESS HOLD HIS LIQUOR.

BoyNextDoor: Wait, you finally looked at GAIA's orientation packet?

HIMBO: I DID THAT AGES AGO. AND I CAN TELL YOU THAT THIS TATE GUY WOULD NEVER WIN A DRINKING CONTEST.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Oh buddy, oh pal.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: How fall you have fallen. How much culture has been lost.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: The point of a drinking contest isn't to WIN, it's to experience a drinking contest.

HIMBO: ...

HIMBO: ALL RIGHT, MAYBE THIS GUY'S NOT SO BAD.

BigMama: Oh good, you have the reincarnation of Travis Tate looking after you. That's... great.

FlameHairSavior: We're doing fine.

BigMama: Are you? You've mentioned multiple fights in the short time we've been talking.

FlameHairSavior: And I survived.

BigMama: Is that all you have to say?

FlameHairSavior: Yes.

Zo: Aloy, perhaps don't be so short with your mother?

FlameHairSavior: I don't think cloning counts.

β: its not like well ever meet her for real

Zo: A woman who shares your blood is worried for your well-being, that sounds like a mother to me.

DrPBK: Oh, certainly.

RobertFrostWasA_HACK: I have to agree.

ShennyShen: Yeah, that combo of competence and social anxiety had to come from Liz!

DoctorKilljoy: You know the more we tease her, the more she's going to deny it?

MARSHAL Kotallo: It seems you figured out Aloy quite quickly.

DoctorKilljoy: Actually, I was talking about Elisabet?

HIMBO: LIKE MOTHERS LIKE DAUGHTERS.

BigMama: You people are going to be the death of me.

β: thats in the data packet too

BigMama: ...right.

BigMama: So, Beta, was it? Is that a nickname of some sort?

β: no

BigMama: So you were literally named Beta.

β: yes

HIMBO: WAIT, I THOUGHT IT WAS SHORT FOR ELISABET.

BoyNextDoor: Same here.

β: its not

BigMama: And why, exactly, did GAIA see the need to create two clones, one LITERALLY named Beta?

β: she didnt

BigMama: What's that supposed to mean?

FlameHairSavior: Tilda is a bitch is what it means.

BigMama: Tilda is dead. I mean, she's dead NOW, her ship blew up. How is she relevant to your time period?

FlameHairSavior: Let me clear this up:

FlameHairSavior: Tilda IS a bitch.

BigMama: ...oh ffs.

A.Larsen: I always knew there was something fishy there.

BigMama: I never should have trusted them.

RobertFrostWasA_HACK: We can deal with it later, after we've looked through the data. We shouldn't waste any of this time with business, we should try to connect to our descendants.

Kitty_StopCallingMeThatTravis: Correct. We don't know how long this will last.

BigMama: I suppose.

ShennyShen: Wait, wait! Future people!

ShennyShen: What's the date on your end?

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Same as us!

Zo: Winter solstice, to be specific.

β: december 25

ShennyShen: So that means this is a Christmas miracle!

BoyNextDoor: I suppose there's no way to describe randomly connecting two groups over a thousand years as anything but a miracle.

BoyNextDoor: Though I'm curious what GAIA will think when we talk to her about this.

HIMBO: WHAT'S CHRISTMAS?

[FlameHairSavior], [Zo], [BoyNextDoor], [HIMBO], [MARSHAL Kotallo], [β], and [DIVINER] have left the group

This omake was more fun to write than it had any right to be. Clarity for anyone who hasn't bothered to memorize the list of Alphas (because only two or three of them are relevant): BigMama: Elisabet Sobeck (GAIA) A.Larsen: Anders Larsen (AETHER) DoctorKilljoy: Samina Ebadji (APOLLO) PuppyParade: Charles Ronson (ARTEMIS) RobertFrostWasA_HACK: Tanaka Naoto (DEMETER) DrPBK: Patrick Brochard-Klein (ELEUTHIA) VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Travis Tate (HADES) ShennyShen: Margo Shen (HEPHAESTUS) Captain_RobotKiller: Ayomide Okilo (MINERVA) Kitty_StopCallingMeThatTravis: Catalina Garcia (POSEIDON) Now guess which ones were named by Travis Tate.

Chapter 44 (non-canon omake) | Prev chapter | Next chapter Chapter Index

#horizon #horizon zero dawn #horizon forbidden west #HZDBaseChat #aloy #zo #varl #beta horizon #erend vanguardsman #kotallo #alva #elisabet sobeck #travis tate

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