#hxh character analysis

[hisokas-toybox]

Headcanons Series: The Zoldyck children and their sibling dynamics. Part 1 - Illumi

Togashi has already given us this image

Which gives us an insight into how some of the Zoldycks relate to one another. But it doesn't give us much depth or detail to really sink our teeth into. In fact, according to this most of the siblings have no relationships to each other at all!

So, I'm going to post a series of my own headcanons about how the Zoldyck children are most likely to interact with/view each other and what their early interactions might have looked like too. These are not explicitly canon but are based mostly off what we've seen in the various anime and manga, plus some little bits of inspiration here and there from fanfic/fanart I've enjoyed along the way. I'll make a new post for each child, looking from their POV at the relationships they have with each sibling from eldest to youngest.

Illumi

Milluki - I feel these two probably have the most "normal" sibling dynamic of the Zoldyck children. I don't think they particularly like each other or have much in common but they're old enough to tolerate each other and work together in a give/take way when needed. In the current timeline, I feel Illumi probably views Milluki as "fat and lazy" and "lacking the discipline needed to be a great assassin."

As children however, Illumi would have been young when Milluki was born. He probably wasn't responsible for raising/training Milluki the way he would be with his other siblings. He therefore, probably doesn't think of Milluki as his responsibility as much as he does the other kids (hence why I think they have the most normal sibling dynamic). I can easily imagine that when Milluki was born, little Illumi would have been jealous of his new brother. Before Milluki there was ONLY Illumi, and I can imagine he would have struggled to adjust to suddenly having to share his parents attention (even if it was negative attention in the form of brutal training) and probably made it his goal to be better than Milluki at everything. Aggressively so, to the point that now, the two are still nothing alike and Illumi still, as an adult, looks down on Milluki as the "disappointment" compared to the rest of his family though he probably doesn't even realise why or where that need to be better than Milluki comes from.

Killua - We know the most about this one, so I'll try to keep it short! Illumi feels VERY protective of Killua. We know he was like a second father to Killua, training him and spending lots of time raising him. Illumi's parents clearly value Killua the most of all their children. And given that Illumi is so desperate to impress/please his parents and looks up to them as his idols, he follows whatever beliefs they hold without question. They say Killua is the most special golden boy? Must be true. And therefore, Illumi must prove himself by being the very best trainer/mentor/guardian/protector Killua could ever have! No matter the cost! With the age gap between Illumi and Killua being much bigger than between him and Milluki, Illumi had some time to mature a bit and so felt more secure and less jealous of Killua taking his parents attention away than he did with Milluki. At some point, I think Illumi even grew a genuine soft spot for Killua. Illumi appreciated that Killua was inquisitive and eager to learn, he learned quickly too, but most notably, Killua was and still is stubborn and sassy. Sometimes this could be annoying, but mostly I imagine Illumi secretly enjoyed Killua's cheeky side (Neither he nor Milluki had ever dared be rude to the butlers or worse their parents, so Killua's nerve was fascinating). Prior to Killua learning nen, the power difference between the two meant that even if Killua did cross a line it was easy for Illumi to put him in his place, so he maybe allowed a little more than he should've just because he enjoyed the novelty of Killua's attitude (bonus headcanon - younger Illumi and Killua teaming up to prank Milluki as part of Killua's "stealth training" ). Things are much sadder now from Illumi's POV. Killua is terrified of Illumi. And seemingly, hates him and wants nothing more than get away from him. When Gon said that line about Illumi not being qualified to be Killua's brother? Yeah. Illumi played it cool, but that HURT. Illumi wants Killua to be safe, more than anything and is no doubt worried about him all the time he's away from home doing God knows what. The needle he used on Killua was harsh and nasty but it was done out of (twisted) love and an attempt to protect his little brother. (That was not short! I have a lot of feelings about Illumi!!!)

Alluka - Again, Illumi believes his parents word to be gospel on this one. Not a single original thought in his head regarding her at all. He was told she wasn't human. Believes that and so doesn't treat or view her as a person. Makes no attempt to bond with her like he did with Killua, studied her and experimented with her when her powers and the limits/consequences weren't entirely clear. Just like his parents, he doesn't fully understand her abilities/underlying humanity and fears her (and he rarely fears anything). He shuns her and allows her to be locked away. He even tries to kill her to protect Killua (and a lot of other people including himself, but mostly Killua) from the fallout of her powers. Now he does know all the rules/conditions of her ability he wants to be able to use it and control it for himself (her ability - again he has no attachment to her whatsoever) but knows Killua is protecting her and Illumi won't act against Killua (not his favourite sibling!) So he's likely just busying himself with other things for now.

Kalluto - Once again, Illumi is the 3rd parent to this sibling! And though Kalluto isn't as sassy/entertaining or spirited as Killua was, Illumi has a soft spot for Kalluto too. He sees Kalluto is much more quiet, serious and obedient and doesn't need much babysitting compared to Killua. I actually think Illumi sees a lot of himself in Kalluto so he's quite protective and fond of him (maybe even a little bit affectionate??) In Illumi's mind Kalluto is Baby, and probably always will be even when he's an adult!

[mari-lair]

Killua and Gon mimic each other a lot.

On the start of the fourth phase of the hunter exam, while in the boat, they sit like this:

and by the end of their talk, Killua mimics Gon:

They half mimic each other in heaven's arena too, probably subconsciously (these two panels are on the same page)

They lay down in the same pose on the campfire chap, so i can't tell who mimicked who.

And killua has his usual 'cool kid' pose when he sits up. His default way to sit.

but he mimics Gon every time he changes poses.

this one is the funniest to me cause they sit so differently when they are a little away from each other/not paying much attention to each other

but when they are side by side, or right in front of each other BAM

And I am not sure is if this has any meaning, but I do find it interesting that when Gon is overwhelmed, frustrated, or defeated he usually sits with both knees up and his arms crossed.

But while waiting for Pitou to finish healing Komugi, he mimics Killua's mannerisms

Anyway, if you know more moments of them mimicking each other please share! It brings me life.

[killugon-truther]

okay but killua becoming addicted to gambling the way he did for like, 5 secs during the greed island arc makes sm sense from a psychological standpoint, at least to me. ���

like…

“it’s not like it’ll KILL me!”

*sees a man die after hitting the jackpot 5x in a row and using the exact same die that killua was*

*literally continues to do it anyway* 💀

also,

killua: assassins NEVER take risks. 😤

also killua: *becomes a gambling addict in, like… two seconds*

[spidersinyourshoes]

Feitan and mischaracterization

warning: lots of yapping ahead. I’m not even sure if this makes sense I wrote this in one go lmaoo feel free to add on to this or ask for clarification on some points <3

As someone who has been rotating this man in my brain for like 5 years now, I have… thoughts about the way some people interpret his character.

Of course everyone is free to see and interpret a character in whatever way they wish, that’s one of the many joys of fiction after all, but i still feel the need to yap about this for a bit.

Feitan is such an amazing and complex character, and seeing him constantly getting reduced to the mean emo/edgy dude annoys me greatly.

Yes, he is pretty mean to outsiders (as are almost all troupe members) and yes, he is a cold blooded killer who is both ruthless and efficient in combat (as are most troupe members) but that is not the extent of his character like some people seem to believe.

He is just a silly dude fr. He’s a nerd. He teases his friends. He makes jokes. He is extremely loyal. I love him.

And yeah, he is not nice. He’s not a kind person, but I also think a big part of his reputation is due to his language barrier? Like, if he spoke like all the other characters i genuinely think a lot of people would suddenly realize there’s more to him as a character, even though what he’s saying wouldn’t change. Just how he says it. But honestly his speech just shouldn’t matter?? He gets his point across, and does so more effectively than most characters ever could. And as someone whose native language isn’t english, it’s also hella relatable. Learning a new language is hard, especially if it’s a language that greatly differs from your native one.

And people always say he’s quiet and barely speaks, but i don’t think that’s true at all? I mean, out of all the troupe members, hes literally one of the characters who has the most lines in the anime. Just because he doesn’t speak in a way that’s conventional to you, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t speak at all, or that his words aren’t worth listening to.

Like is this the mean edgelord who hates everyone and has no sense of humor? Is this him? You sure?

Feitan is a character who values efficiency and the troupe above all. In that sense, his philosophy is quite simple; if it benefits him or the troupe, it’s worth doing. And it’s of no benefit, it’s not worth doing. He’s blunt and doesn’t beat around the bush, but he’s also not the strict and uptight person people think he is.

I have more thoughts but they mostly manifest as screeching in my brain and i don’t have the proper words to share them and this post is getting long anyway. Long story short, Feitan is a silly little dude and I love him and I wish more people saw him for the complex character he is.

[decayofroses]

Succession war Kurapika

I've completed all the available HXH chapters (400), and there were a few scenes that really stood out to me with Kurapika.

I love and adore him as the main character of this arc, and we've seen his perspective and his downward spiral in yorknew.

Seeing him now, and how far he's strayed definitely makes his POV the most interesting to me.

I wanted to point out/ talk about some of the panels throughout the SW.

This panel especially stood out to me, and it's one of my favorites out of the entire manga. He mentions how every time he got a part of his brethren back- he lost something. While I think it could be a physical presence, I think he's talking about himself here more than anything.

Each time he's threatened, coaxed, paid people off, he's lost a part of himself.

Kurapika strays away from his relationships, while to protect them- and also what I believe is out of guilt (and the other which I'll go over in a moment). I think he knows what he's doing to himself, and I don't think he can handle facing it head on, or risking harming his friends physically or emotionally.

And again, when Kurapika agrees to join the zodiacs.

Straying even from Leorio, it's clear he'd rather face things alone, and without distractions. Which is exactly what they are, distractions.

His quest to collect his family is coming to an end. "Where would I go?" I think he means this in a literal, and metaphorical sense. Where will he end up by the end of this? Which path will he go down? He has no place to call home, and he truly believes he has nothing left, and nobody to welcome him back.

Despite having allies, and who quickly became close friends.

He didn't realize it at the time, but shortly after teaming up with Bill and others- he understood the importance of allies.

"Things didn't proceed so simply", things weren't as simple as gathering pawns, and walking the path of revenge alone.

He formed genuine bonds that mean more to him than simple pawns for his quest. He's now torn between his isolation, and his care for his friends. Despite this, he will continue to punish himself and walk this path alone- it's much harder than he'd originally intended. Pushing his friends away to complete his goal, because it serves as his only purpose in his eyes. Even if he knows it's wrong.

Oito asks if spying on the 4th prince is for his convenience. Kurapika takes a moment, and tells her this is simply a strategic choice. I don't think he's lying, but I do think he wants to protect her, and wobble- while still keeping contact with the Prince.

At the moment, he will prioritize protecting the two of them. I think it happens to align with his goal, but it isn't necessarily for his convenience.

The reason I bring this up is to highlight that despite the fact he wants to push his friends away, and work towards his goal- he won't risk the lives of others.

He says he will repeat it as many times as needed, that they are there to protect her and the prince. To trust him.

He tries to be someone who will risk everything for the sake of recovering the eyes, but deep down he can't. Much like how he cannot truly abandon his friends, only isolate himself.

Kurapika is loyal, and unwilling to sacrifice others for the sake of his goal. He forced a stalemate, and took advantage of his nen knowledge to level out the playing field. A stalemate buys them more time, making it so it won't be as easy for experienced nen users to take advantage of non nen users.

It was a brilliant idea that may be risky, but also offers protection for him, and the queen.

During this conversation with Mizaistom, it's clear that Kurapika has not abandoned all of his morals, he wants to avoid killing the Prince despite having the remaining eyes. He would rather try other methods, and is opposed to killing.

Mizaistom and Kurapikas dynamic is one of my favorites, but that's for another time.

That's all I have to talk about, for now. I wanted to go over my favorite panels, and his relationships in the succession war.

[mayxo-hxh]

Love how in the hunter exam, Illumi sits at the front while Hisoka sits at the back. It says so much about their personalities.

The obvious that Illumi is akin to an A+ student. He has his hands on his lap, hes at the very front of the room, and it hints to his personality as a very blunt and forward person.

Meanwhile, Hisoka sits at the back with his hands crossed. He's quiet, he keeps to himself when he doesn't want to be the center of attention. Also very much hints to his shyness thats revealed later!

[nynyhaha]

Spider Themes: Phantom Troupe and fate (plus Chrollo character song analysis)

THIS is the moment that lead tons of fans to believe that Chrollo is a determinist,or at least a fatalist,believing that certain things cannot be avoided and that people lack the free will to act otherwise.

I haven’t seen any other proof of Chrollo being a determinist and I think it’s not that relevant to his character so this idea being so popular annoys me,and yet,there are lots of time where Chrollo is confronted with the idea of fate.

Why doesn’t he blame Judas?

There are multiple ideas

-his betrayal was bound to happen and he had no free will

-regardless of will,his actions were justified because it resulted in the greater goal being achieved(and Chrollo sees Jesus’ death as as important as his own death in a scenario where the Spiders have to chose.Chrollo would want them to sacrifice him for the Spider,and this scene hints at that)

-anyone willing to betray the organisation for money or fame was never a true member

-Chrollo doesn’t take anything personally and he doesn’t judge other people for their actions because he expects very little of them (we know this isn’t true for his Spiders,but it seems to be that way with Hisoka. He doesn’t blame Hisoka for being what he is)

This point is also illustrated in the flashback chapters where young Chrollo doesn’t get angry at his bullies even once. He’s not mad at Uvo,Phinks or Feitan,he outsmarts them or outruns them,but still sees them as part of his circle and never acts aggressively.

He doesn’t even appear to hate Kurapika or care much for his motives,since he accepted the fact that people will come after him for a multitude of reasons. He doesn’t care how good those reasons are.

The prophecy

Neon’s prophetic ability is meant to help people see the potential future,it’s not presented as being self fulfilling,in which case it would be a scam. The idea is that you can gain knowledge of your potential fate,and chose the course of action accordingly.

Chrollo trusts the ability since he uses it to make important decisions,like whether to stay in yorknew.

If he can use it to his advantage and cheat fate,how could he be a fatalist??

Our will above all else

The phantom troupe is incredibly strong as a group,yet they retain qualities of underdogs. They were born in the most marginalised community possible,in a place that doesn’t officially exist,and yet they’re now feared and infamous.

They won’t allow the world to take from them

They will impose their will on others.

Uvo’s requiem

I will never shut up about it.

It perfectly represents the nature of the Phantom Troupe and Chrollo’s philosophy.

We know Chrollo believes in souls,but does a man who sits in a broken Church and wears upside down crosses believe in any just god? There’s no way Chrollo isn’t a nihilist when it comes to ultimate justice. He expressed those doubts even as a child,and it seems that while he now thinks souls exist,he doesn’t rely on any afterlife.

He never relied on justice from above,he always took matters in his own hands. Believing in souls may mean that he sees death as a change of state,and sees murder as more forgivable since “everyone ends up in the same place anyways”but this is just speculation.

Only he can improve Uvo’s situation.

Uvogin’s soul soon will be gone,who knows where. Chrollo can’t change that,he doesn’t even know if Uvo hears him. But he will fulfil his wish. He will send other souls off in Uvo’s honour. He will show that his life and death mattered. It’s an attempt to reclaim agency,however futile it may be,it seems Chrollo wants to prove something to the universe.

People are the ones who sever ties

Doesn’t this run contrary to his ideas about traitors? It sounds here like he expects loyalty from those close to him. Or does he mean that he himself won’t forget things unless he cuts them off?

He can’t feel less responsible for the deaths of his friends and he can’t forget his place in the world,can’t detach himself from it.

Hi identity is still tied to external things. And it means all of the things he has lost,all of the humanity he has shed were deliberate sacrifices. Like he resigned himself to give up his life for his goals.

It’s very much a show of will.

The coin

It’s a practical way to resolve conflicts. While it’s thrown by a person,and the outcome can be random, therefore unbiased,it could also be them calling to fate to decide who gets his way.

“May happen what is meant to happen”

This leads to no conclusion,but it’s absolutely related to fate so I’ll mention it here.

1/13 analysis

I have no idea how canon this song is,but it’s a great interpretation of the information we have in canon. It touches on many themes crucial to Chrollo and his Troupe. I’m using the translation from the wiki,I don’t know Japanese and honestly I prefer the translation from the YouTube lyric video

This song mentions almost everything I’ve talked about in this post,and even more.

“..From the beginning”

They were doomed from the beginning. Even if they wanted something innocent and simple as dubbing anime,finding purpose in entertaining the masses.

First Chrollo rejects the notion of life,then he goes on to deny fate.

But he also approves them. “As if” The Troupe doesn’t act in accordance with reality and what it has in store for them,they act as if none of those things were real.

Life not existing means it’s meaningless and because of the horrible conditions Chrollo grew up in,he and the others were never given a chance of any life worth living. Life is real,but not for them. It’s something they deny themselves,something they abandon in favour of their duty and goal.

Fate might refer to both,inaction,staying anonymous nobodies,and doing something,surpassing themselves,and then dying a horrible death.

If there is a fate,can they know what it is?

Is Chrollo following his destiny,or acting in spite of it? If only he knew,haha. Maybe it’s not his choice to become a murder,maybe it was meant to be from the beginning. Or maybe he was meant to do nothing and be nothing,yet he refused.

”When we’ve obtained everything,we will disappear without a trace”

Went from actors to phantoms,got it? ;) This line brings in a sense of finality,of inevitability. So he knows they won’t live forever,that there is a limit. Sure,it could be referring to them being impossible to track,but I chose to believe there is more,since Chrollo touches on the possibility of them actually dying.

In that case,should they “separate and face eternity” the Spider’s Soul will live on. Or it must live on! Pretty spiritual, huh.

I love that while everything hints at his views being nihilistic,Chrollo’s spirituality is almost hopeful.

So is his song.It talks both to the enemy (you can’t run from us) and his fellow Spiders. He tells them to just steal,to consult the coin if needed,to trust that the Spider will live on and everything will be fine.

“What is there to fear?” I’m gonna cry,I swear.

This song also has this notion that whatever happens,happens.

“Que sera,sera” and shit. It shows acceptance of things that shouldn’t be accepted. Even his own feelings at the loss of his friends Chrollo acknowledges,and then ignores.

“Can’t be blamed.” He can’t blame himself for still feeling those things,but he just dismisses them. “You will want to sneeze at dust,it’s normal,but hold it in.” = “You will cry at deaths,feel grief and anger. Those reactions are normal,but don’t let it affect you”🗿🧍

What has pride to do with this? I’m genuinely confused. If this mf telling us to be humble? Is it prideful to expect no one to die? Or is this the typical “detach yourself from your feelings”?

Conclusion: Chrollo is seen as a fatalist because of his stoic attitude. The only way (according to HxH fans) to deal with what he goes through,is to tell himself it’s meant to be. I propose that no,he doesn’t think so. He thinks that regardless of fate,he can outsmart it and come out on top. Even if he loses people in the process,in the end it will be worth it. And even if he feels grief at their deaths,that’s just what happens. It didn’t stop him until now. All that just to steal? No,Ofc not. He just doesn’t know how to express his motives.

DO YOU EVEN HAVE CLEAR MOTIVES,CHROLLO? Your journey leads you to nowhere,and we don’t even know where it all went wrong

[masakuterarr]

HxH Character Analysis : UVOGIN

*cracks my fingers* alright peoples, I've been cooking this for DAYS now and I finally have everything gathered (at least I hope so). So lean back, get something to drink and maybe some paper and pen to take notes :) This will be a long one! (btw if there are missspellings I am really sorry, english is not my native language and it's too much that I wrote and I do not have the energy to look over it again- :') )

Character Analysis of Uvogin, regarding the Sarasa Incident

Numbing and Emotional Detachment

A dumb brute with just muscles and purely driven by the joy to kill. That's probably how a lot of people would describe him. This is actually not really true and I will explain why I think that.

In my perception Uvogin kills because a) it's his 'job' and b) because he wants to drown his own emotions.

There are generally 2 Options we can work with.

Uvogin kills because it's one of the only things that give him a positive feeling, which lasts short term.

Uvogin kills because it's something that numbs his emotions

If we go with option 1, we assume that Uvogin relates positive feelings with killing.

Killing the people who came to kill himself, assumingly gives Uvogin the most pleasure (kinky lol). Assumingly it gives him some kind of kick of adrenaline, knowing he might potentially gives his life. It's probably a same kind of feeling with the russian roulette. (Most people play it because of the death wish, but I don't wanna focus on that too much for Uvogin. This death wish with Uvogin can be a giant topic for itself-)

I simply think, Uvogin got addicted to this kick of adrenaline over time and now simply can't stop.

In the german dub of HxH 2011 it's even put a bit better. There Uvogin says "Because dudes like you appear here and there, I just can't stop killing. It's like an addiction"(I am just obsessed with some of the wording in different languages. Plus I LIVE for german dub Uvogin lol)

NOW, what is ironic about this, is that some moments before Kurapika asked Uvogin what they feel when killing innocent people they don't even know. To which Uvogin answers with "Nothing"

I found this weird so I came to the conclusion that Uvogin has a) to difference between killing innocent people and people who come to revenge or b) he doesn't even know it himself and he is just a confused mess, which makes sense if you consider how his mental health state is after unhealed trauma and unhealthy coping mechanism (but I will go intot his now anyways).

But if we consider Option 2, that killing people is actually numbing his feelings, he might even be the complete opposite of what we thought he is. In this case he might be a emotional mess and killing people is what calms him down.

No matter what tho, Uvogin is heavily addicted to the act of killing and he continues to kill because it's something that distracts him from his emotions. Because judging for how long this has been ago, Uvo is way too deep into this entire hole of killing as coping that he can't bare to face the reality that by now, he is probably even worse than Sarasas murder. So he drowns himself in distraction, pushing the reality down his throat so he does not have to face it. But even if he wanted to, he would probably just break at the actual realization of what he has become.

Extreme Punctuality and The Urge to Control The Uncontrollable

(ah my favorite and the least thing looked at)

At first look it is just a cute funny detail added to Uvogins character to make him a bit more relateable and whole as a character. But looking at it I actually realized a sad thing.

Remember when Sarasa went out alone? The others thought she was just gonna get the tape and come back.

If you look at it and put it simply. Sarasa was late. You know what Uvo hates? Someone being late. Nice when the realization kicks in, is it? :)

To explain it now;

When they found Sarasa in the forest, it was already too late. Uvo realized that if they were to search for her earlier or just arrive earlier, they might have had a chance to make an impact on the outcome. Or even save her life.

With this in mind, Uvogins focus on being punctional now seems less random. His anger towards his comerades being late probably isn't even intentionally. Sarasa's death might have impacted Uvo with a strong sense of responsibility as well.

He wants to gain control over things he can't even control, which is a really common coping response to trauma. He once lost control over something, which led to a tragic consequence and now he fears to lose control once again. So Uvogins 'anger' is not because he is actually mad, but because he fears that the same thing happened to them. He simply just cares and is scared that the ones he cares about are getting hurt and worst case, even die.

Because it happened once. So it's much likely to happen again, right? This is a common anxiety thought process.

Outer Persona and Antisocial Behavior

It is obvious that Uvo has a certain 'tough-guy' persona that he shows to the outside world. It becomes very clear when he fights against Kurapika

When Uvogin begins to realize that Kurapika is stronger than he thought and (from his view) maybe even stronger than himself, you can see how this persona is slowly breaking down.

Outer Personas are a common thing for people with Anxiety and Depression. So I think it is save to assume, this is the case with Uvogin. The reason for that can be really simple; from just wanting to not let the others worry about his mental state or just to seem invincible to other people/enemies.

But it can also be, that Uvogin tries to convince himself that he is invincible and not wants to accept how vulnerable he actually as. And yet again, not being able to accept that he wasn't strong enough when Sarasa needed him to be.

To the 'antisocial' part;

When they found Sarasa in the bag back then, Uvo was about to leave her and the others. This always seemed a bit off to me. Why would he leave if he cared so much about her?

People have various reactions to when they don't know how to handle a situations or emotions. Some people laugh, some cry, some stay silent and some get angry. Uvogin is seemingly someone to cope with aggression or isolation/detachment. He probably just wanted to vanish because he felt weak and helpless, and his body instinctively reacted with aggression and the attempt to cut himself out off the scene.

Even at some point in the fight against Kurapika, you can see how Uvo started to gave up and just emotionlessly repeated himself to Kurapika: "Kill me" .

This also leads to (imo) Uvogin's biggest weakness :

Uvogin and Panic

Uvo is a strong and smart fighter, when it comes to combat. He can probably plan out a lot within just a few moments and has an incredible skill at creative problem solving.

Tho, for me, it tends to panic really easily, leaving him extremely vulnerable. The best example is in his fight against Kurapika but also against the Shadow Beasts. Theres a moment when he got caught off guard and starts to slightly panic, which led him to instinctively cope with aggression;

In the 2011 anime he even calls one of them "bastard" after collabsing onto the ground.

(small addition here cuz Shal wtf, why do you look like someone got you flowers after your comerade just collabsed onto the ground, obviously about to get tortured now??)

anyways-

Uvogins Ego and Self Blame

Ofc this can just be Uvo being Uvo, as he thinks a lot of his own abilities and skills, but since this is an analysis, why not looking into it too?

Maybe Uvogin tends to have an ego problem and high temper because he does not want to get reminded that he can fail too. Because in his opinion, the last time he failed, it led to Sarasa's death.

Logically it is obviously not his fault that Sarasa died. The kids straight up didn’t know what would or could happen. But I am very sure that Uvo always blamed himself for it. The same probably goes for Chrollo and the others as well. And since Uvogin is not in a healthy envirnment, nor got treatment for his trauma ever, he surely blames himself.

(And at this point he surely is not able to stop/change his mind on that anymore. Uvo would straight up rage if he was put into a therapist's office LOL)

A similar thought process might have happened when Uvo got kidnapped by the nostrade family and the others had to save him. After all, it would fit a LOT into his pattern of feeling vulnerable and coping with aggression trying to protect his ego. Cuz if he doesn’t he has to face the reality that he was too weak (again) and the others had to save him, putting them indirectly in potential danger.

His thought process is probably something like: I was too weak → others had to save me → IF they get injured or worst case someone dies bc of it, it is his fault → Cuz they had to save HIM. Because this again is a comon pattern when it comes to Anxiety and Depression.

which leads me to the next point;

Overcompensation with strength and the fear of weakness

My last point. A simple but sad one.

Uvo simply feats of being weak. So he purely focuses on physical strength and mastering his nen as an enhancer.

"If I am too weak, I just need to get stronger, right?"

Because he is an enhancer, he would probably think this simple. And even if we look at it from a depression perspective; A quick way out and taking the first idea to not waste any more time. Especially since Uvo does not seem to be much of an overthinker.

He had emptiness and many questions inside him and his first instinctive answer was strength. As simple as that.

gosh this was a lot- but I warned you before so don't blame me LOL

I hope I was able to explain my thought about him and how I look at him :) I will maybe do a second part, focusing on the "death wish" part I talked about earlier! We will see, no promises.

Feel free to tell me your opinion on this! I would love to hear them 🤍

[cafejulii]

I was scrolling through instagram and came across that one scene of Kurapika repeatedly punching Chrollo while on route to make the trade off with the phantom troupe, a scene that though is not canon in the manga nor 2011 anime, is in hxh 1999. I went to the comments to see what others had to say on this addition, and was disheartened to find many fans unanimously coming to the agreement, especially because of this particular scene, that the main difference between Kurapika's characterization in 1999 vs. 2011 is that he's fundamentally "more childish" or "isn't able to keep his anger repressed as well"; rhetoric that I personally couldn’t disagree with more, respectfully.

I must say, they are correct about one thing though, in my opinion; Kurapika in the 1999 version is indeed characterized differently. All of the main four are. Its actually one of the main reasons why I prefer hxh 1999 despite not it not being fully accurate to cannon with the addition of several non-canonical scenes and dialogues. Such scenarios looked upon the original narrative given, estimated what would be the missing pieces in between in order to get to the current picture, and then used a combination of both the filler and original cannon to create characters who are consequently much more dynamic than their original counterparts. All the creators have done was really just set off on a proper set of chain of events in the plot to follow their development.

(In short, hxh 1999 is akin to a very well written, cannon compliant, fanficton with a very specific focus on character study through its additional scenes)

This is one of the many reasons why I find this scene particularly meaningful, as it serves as a direct expansion on Kurapika's characterization. Kurapika is the sort to scrutinize every action he makes based on his self imposed moral structure. We see this aspect of him made clear in the hunter exam, in which Leorio asks him if he's really willing to go to the depths it would take to become a blacklist hunter, knowing this fact about him just simply from the way he talked about hunters, and why, he found becoming a hunter just for the money, unjust. Kurapika, in response, assures him, that he will do anything, no matter if he deems it morally impermissible, if it meant to find and enact his revenge on the Spiders. However, when it came time to follow through with his statement, there is an inherent hesitation made or a flat out failure to act upon it. The very first instance of this is seen when it came time for him to kill the prisoner in trick tower so that he may advance past the third phase of the exam, resulting in a further advancement to his goal as quickly as possible.

He flat out refused to do so, despite it being the easiest most logical thing to do. The man was knocked out unconscious after all. And of course, Kurapika did state that he'd be willing to do anything. So then, why didn't he do it?

Because to him, killing in any circumstance is wrong. He creates a moral paradox for himself:

Cause of Revenge= morality->guilt-> duty

Execution of revenge= duty-> abandonment of morality-> guilt

And moreover, he is horribly self aware of this fact. He knows that discarding pieces of morality for the sake of his mission will fundamentally change him. His duty will never bring him peace and he knows it. In fact, it is the opposite, for he knows it will torment him relentlessly to the point in which he either breaks, or instead, he will become apathetic to it all. The later is the result he strives for though, as to follow through with his mission, he needs to be complicit in the face of evil.

But throughout the narrative, time and time again, it is evident that such moral sentiments never leave him. Sure, he works as a body guard for some of the most notorious criminals in the underworld, so rotten that Melody even goes as far to describe them as "devils", but fails to abandon his paradox. For Christ's sake, he even said in this particular version, that he found the sounds of pain Uvogin made while dying to be so abhorrent to the point, he couldn’t fathom how Uvo does it does it at; nonetheless without feeling any form of remorse. Kurapika loathes violence so greatly that he feels revolted in partaking in it, even if it is towards the person in which inflicted violence on him first. This displays that, to an extent, he held pity for Uvo, not in the sense that he regrets his actions but in the sense they had to be done at all, yet bares this sin for the sake of his brethren. But at the heart of it, especially since so little was gained for his overall mission, he falls to the gripping weight of his actions due to the breach of morality and it overtakes him for a brief moment.

But afterwards, he must carry on regardless if he likes it or not. He must continue up until the point in which he feels indifference to every morally abhorrent thing he has to do for the sake of his mission. Yet of course, he is not there yet, and because of this it only rightfully expected that his anger would boil over due to his moral turmoil, only for him to retreat in a sort of shame directly after doing so, realizing this part of the cycle he signed up for.

And this is why he rages at Chrollo. It's simply a part of this said cycle.

He punches him repeatedly, not only for the murder of his people, but the choices that he had to make as a result of the slaughter; that he was forced to create this paradox and resort to vengeful duty in which can only be fulfilled by measures of violence. The repeated punches, to me, are not done for the sake of incapacitation or for killing Chrollo (after all he couldn't have as that would mean that Gon and Killua's lives would be lost and it's apparent he'd never allow that) but as to give the biggest "fuck you for being so senselessly violent and cruel that in order for me to enact a properly weighted vengeance for my people that I must become just as senselessly violent, just as senselessly cruel, as you are."

Utilizing violence to mourn against the use of violence; this act is the pinnacle of it. A genius, visual representation of his profound moral conflict created for the audience. This is why this scene was so impactful. This is why this scene was needed.

[prettylittledollswork]

Opera-san from m!ik/wtdsik and illumi from hxh are really similar.

I feel like Illumi has traits that aren’t spoken about as much in the HXH fandom. like i feel if you two were married, he would come up to you and be like “you know (child’s name or killua) said that if you don’t kiss me that they’d hate you.” And you can just tell he wants some kisses but is too embarrassed or ask. I feel like he’d joke but you can’t tell if he’s serious or not with the stonic face.

With this, i feel Opera-San from m!ik/wtdsik is similar to Illumi in a way. Extremely powerful, stonicnface, joking with that same stonic face. Like they’d be similar to Illumi by saying “Iruma kun said if you don’t kiss me, he’ll hate you.” Leaking a sort of aura similar to bloodlust but harmless, and then if you say something like “no he wouldn’t” to either of them, they would just be like “hes my (brother/child) how would i not know?” Or opera-san would be like “wow so are you saying i’m lying, i live with iruma-kun 24/7 how would i not know.”

I also feel like those two would often ask for affection in discreet ways, you’re laying in bed next to them and they suddenly rub up closer to you, trying to hint at it. Or after a long day of work, you may just be sitting in the edge of your bed and they come and just lay their head on your lap. Opera-san definitely purrs, no doubt.

[heliianth]

i dont talk about him a lot bc i feel like i have nothing to say but kurapika is one of those characters i kind of lay awake at night over sometimes. because i just have no idea where hes going. with gon its because i feel like i could read 500 different meta essays and still feel like hes an ephemeral 4th dimensional being but with kurapika im like. this guy has already hit a narrative rock bottom. he knows how to get himself out of it and hes still digging. he is making himself miserable on purpose because he wouldnt be able to or want to do what hes doing unless he was miserable and its like what is going to happen to get you to STOP. YOU BLOND IDIOT. DO YOU HAVE TO DIE? IS THAT IT?

[hisokas-toybox]

Headcanons series: The Zoldyck children and their sibling dynamics. Part 4 Alluka

Alluka

A/N - I'm only writing for Alluka not Nanika because even though they share one body, Alluka is the real Zoldyck child whereas Nanika is more like a parasite/demon possessing her. We don't know if Nanika would be capable of having individual relationships or if it just behaves and is influenced by Alluka's feelings towards those around her.

Illumi - Alluka fears Illumi. She doesn't really understand why, but she knows he isn't nice to her (refers to her as a boy! And often ignores/avoids her). She knows he won't interact with her at all unless there's something he wants and Killua seems afraid of him too, so he must be really scary. She wants to stay as far away from Illumi as she can.

Milluki - Like Illumi, Milluki also doesn't interact with Alluka unless there's something he wants. But, unlike Illumi, he's less scary so she doesn't mind as much. He can sometimes even be swayed into buying her new toys or playing with her for a little while in exchange for using her/Nanika's ability. She'd like to get to know him better, but he rarely comes to see her.

Killua - ADORES HIM!!! He is the bestest big brother in the world. He always plays with her and knows the difference between her and Nanika. He's really kind to her and looks after her. He keeps her safe from Illumi and she'd do anything for him.

Kalluto - Does she even know Kalluto? She might know he exists, but I imagine Silva and Kikyo, in their fear of Nanika's power would be keen to keep Kalluto to keep him safe. If they've met at all, it would have been very brief, so Alluka wouldn't know her younger brother very well. She's probably curious about him and wants to be friends... I hope they do get to interact more in future.

[mari-lair]

We are told at the very start of the manga that "if you want to know a person, you need to find out what makes them angry"

So I want to talk about Gon, and what makes him angry.

Gon is hard to anger, especially for a kid: He wasn't angry at his dad for abandoning him and never visiting, he wasn't angry at Mito for lying that his parents died, he wasn't angry when Leorio made everyone lose 50 hours at the trick tower despite revealing later in Hanzo's fight that his hope to meet his 'amazing hunter dad' would vanish if couldn't finish the exam on his first try like Ging did (there is no "better luck in the next exam" for Gon), he never gets jealous when Killua shows more strength or knowledge than him even though they are the same age and he used to be very powerful on his little island, and so on.

But it's not hard for Gon to get angry for others: Be it angry for their safety or about people disrespecting their wishes. Especially if they are his friends.

His anger is stronger when his friend's lives are at risk, their safety triumphs over his wish to respect what they want.

But he doesn't care about his own life.

He is never angry when people hurt him. As Hanzo had put it, even injuries as severe as broken bones don't matter to Gon.

But Gon was visibly frustrated in Hanzo's fight.

He wants to win. And he wants to be the one to win not for Hanzo to forfeit. He wants to earn his license, he need proof that he is strong, capable, and worthy of being in the last phase, aware he was only here because Hisoka let him pass.

The person Gon feels the most anger towards at the end of the exam is himself for being a hunter but not feeling like he is worth of the title.

Gon is always the most angry at himself.

When Kite kills a foxbear, punching Gon for trespassing in their territory, Gon isn't angry at him or the fox bear that attacked him, he puts the full blame on himself and tries to make up for it by raising Kon.

When Killua goes 'back home' he gets angry at Illumi for making Killua do things he doesn't want, but he also blames himself for not being there for Killua when his fight with Illumi happened.

Similarly, his instinct when he learned, without a doubt, that Kite is beyond saving, was to blame himself.

He isn't thinking about Pitou, isn't even seeing them, blinded by Kite and his own guilt.

This quest for 'revenge' was never about Pitou, it was always about healing Kite. And since Pitou can't heal the dead, Gon blames himself, he is angry at himself.

Pitou is the one that killed him. Killua was the one that was terrified by Pitou's aura and knocked Gon unconscious to run. Kite was the one that told them to run. Gon is far from the "reason kite died" but he loves and respect Kite and Killua, so he obviously doesn't see anything wrong, he never once blames Killua for what happened.

In fact... He had thanked him

And Gon is genuinely grateful here.

It breaks my heart how much he loves and trusts his friends, eager to share all his good times and victories with them. Wanting them by his side always, no matter how personal his journey is.

But when something bad happens he wants to 'make it better' alone. Is never "we will fix this" is always "I will", because he doesn't want to trouble them, be it by his own emotions, or outside dangers.

Gon never blames his friends, so he is the one responsible when bad things happen, the only one that needs to fix any problem. And if death is a risk, he will immediately assign the lethal job to himself, and himself only.

Gon isolates himself when things get hard but he still doesn't want to be alone. He craves company and support more than ever when he is hurt.

But he doesn't like to feel weak or helpless, so asking for help or opening up is extremely hard. He mostly just gets angry at himself for feeling how he feels and refuse to make it someone else's problem.

He didn't cry after stealing Hisoka's badge but he was feeling helpless and unworthy so he sucked it up and went to do better, it was only after Kurapika asked directly if he was okay that he lowered his walls and found himself crying.

He is just a kid, he can't process his self hate, frustration, or guilt well, and his way to feel better is to help others, be useful and powerful. But sometimes that's not enough, or he simply can't help.

So he constantly finds himself in situations where he gets injured, physical pain is something that he is more used to, that it's easier to process: He let a foxbear cub claws his shoulders after his actions make Kite kill the cub's mother, he let 'puppet kite' hit him even when he learned its robotic attack pattern, he feels weak and frustrated because 'The Bomber' wasn't taking him seriously and he hates feeling weak, so he delayed Killua's plan and got his hands destroyed to prove to himself that he can do it.

But helping others is still the clear priority over hurting himself: The best example to show this is when he visits the Zoldycks. He never took his anger about the Zoldyck family's isolation on Canary when he visited Killua, letting her knock him down again and again in silence for a while before expressing his frustrations with how unfair it is that he need to go through trials to visit a friend.

And when Killua's mom visited, he prioritized canary over his goal.

Gon is just... kind. Is far easier for him to care about strangers than it is for him to be angry.

Gon is smart, but he is not the best at figuring out people when they don't tell him how they feel, especially when Gon is annoyed or unsatisfied.

So I am not surprised he assumed cool-headed killua, who hides all his pain and is so reliable and mature, "always cleaning up Gon's mess", wasn't in pain in the chimera ant arc. It’s like having someone say “be calm” when you’re angry, stating cold facts that only make you feel more incompetent in your emotional state.

It hurt because it feels like Killua, whose opinion Gon values so much, doesn't care about Kite, his super important mentor figure. And since Pitou’s behavior makes it so he can’t use them as an outlet for his emotions, this hint of anger and betrayal at Killua makes him lash out without thinking about his friend.

But even in his blinding guilt and hatred, Killua is important enough to still be able to calm him down, and reminds him of his goal.

Gon doesn't understand Killua is hurt (since killua doesn't tell him) but at least... He is not alone.

"I can't wait" --> He genuinely feels like Killua is as calm as he pretends to be, only he is the 'helpless and in pain' one in Gon's mind and so Killua could easily wait, but he personally can't. He is alone in his pain.

"how long must we wait?" --> Killua is here. Gon never feels truly alone with Killua by his side, he at least has the comfort of an anchor in these trying times.

Killua, who feels unwanted, hurt, and useless, also misunderstands Gon and leaves when Gon needed company the most. Is none of their faults, but it does make Gon's already incredibly bad state even worst.

There is no one but himself to calm him down when he hit his breaking point, and Gon isn't kind to himself.

His 'fight' with Pitou wasn't revenge. It was a failed attempt to "get kite back" to "fix him" which failed, and he couldn't deal with the resulting grief, so he turned it all into a suicide attempt.

To me, Gon gets angry when he feels inadequate or that a loved one deserves better, he has self-centered tunnel vision when he gets angry, so he doesn't realize his anger-fueled actions might trouble others, but when he does he will make an effort to set aside his own goals for others.

He is a good kid, a genuinely good kid with no self-love that is surrounded by adults that usually view him as a monster or a "admirable powerhouse" first and a child second, and it takes an enormous amount of strain to make him break.

He is a very strong kid, I wanna hug him.

[killugon-truther]

someone compared the needle illumi drilled into killua’s head to being forcefully medicated, and i stg that literally opened my eyes bc i didn’t even think abt that.

it makes perfect sense; the way he begins to experience and feel his emotions to a deeper extent (both the good and the bad) after removing the needle, the way tsubone said (and i’m paraphrasing here bc i can’t remember exactly what she said) that when he was under his family’s control, life was “easier” for him…

illumi’s needle is probably one of the best representations of abuse i’ve ever witnessed in media bc it manages to be so realistic and tragic, despite being so encapsulated in fiction.

[3aoldyeck]

i firmly believe that illumi is not deserving of a redemption: not only because what hes done thus far is beyond redemption, but i also believe it would not make sense for his character.

i also feel as though it wouldnt make sense for killuas character either. killuas whole journey throughout the story is centered around self worth, and to have him outright forgive illumi, one of if not the biggest motivator as to why said worth was absent to begin with, would flush all of killuas personal growth down the drain.

yes illumi was most likely abused himself if not more than his siblings, but abuse is abuse. he had the choice of breaking the cycle but chose not to. killua did. i feel that redeeming illumi would be a huge punch in the face to actual abuse victims, and i dont think a message like that would be good to portray.

just like how i think silva and kikyo shouldnt be redeemed either, considering that theyre most likely the main driving forces as to why the family dynamics are so fucked up. and even if in his eyes, why illumi does the things he does isnt classified as abuse but more so benefiting the family and kil, its still abuse at the end of the day, and this only further proves how warped his perspective and perception of how and why he does what he does and has done is. the dude’s too far gone.

instead i think they should expand more into not only his backstory but his emotions and outlook on the world, such as his relationships with his family, most predominantly killua, and even with hisoka. for example, (minor bojack horseman spoiler up ahead) the way bjhm treated beatrice and her backstory: they portrayed it in such a way where they werent excusing her actions, but as a way of explaining why she was the way she was and how she became the person that she was, while also sharing a tender moment between her and bojack before she passed (which is in reference to the nursing home btw not the icu LOL).

i feel like if we were to get an illumi arc (togashi i am on my knees) they should go down that route instead of a full blown redemption. because not only does illumi not deserve that, killua doesnt either. he does not need someone like that in his life whether illu has changed or not. because the damage has already been done.

[nartml]

gon freecss is the most underrated character i've ever come across it's actually baffling