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the-heaminator · 2 years ago

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Chapter 15 of the murder fic

They didn't let Francis return home that night, they had too many things to discuss, and he was a little too, how should I put this, rabid, liable to bite if he wasn't beaten enough?

He was certainly not in a good place by any stretch of the imagination, which to be fair was what they wanted, but he hadn't got close enough to the brink of insanity to be considered safe in their odd little way, and certainly seemed simply too disturbingly human and fallible for them to simply let him go, and they did actually have things to discuss.

He was frogmarched through the woods, to stop him running away, though with his unstable he seemed as he walked, stumbling and tripping over roots and whatnot, even if he did try in earnest, he wouldn't have gotten very far, and he seemed too downright scared to even try, he was almost limp in Ivan's grip while Arthur led the way through the dark and gloom back into town, they all looked a little scruffy, Francis looked utterly dishevelled, there was mud on his clothes and face, his eyes were darting around like a caged beast, but with the two others flanking him now, less attention came his way, the other two started to rather pleasantly discuss utterly horrifying things, rapid pace and quick-fire, and if one wasn't listening too hard, which no one would be at this time, it was mostly tipsy students on the streets at this time, celebrating the end of term before many of them had to go home for the holidays, pity the students who either elected not to go home or had no place to go.

Just out of town, they told, rather drilled it into Francis, that he needed to collect himself, stop crying, look like he simply fell down or something of the sort, his eyes were red and puffy, hair a matted scraggly mess, but he had stopped crying, somehow, Francis did not know how he managed it, fear probably, he felt cold, too cold, yes it was near midwinter, but this felt different, not the nibbling on his skin that came with the wind, or the clear-headedness that such a stiff breeze causes, he felt full of wool, like a marionette conducted by strings somewhere above him that he could not see and have no control over, full of wet wool, heavy and cold, he wanted nothing more than to just curl up and die

He could barely register his limbs as his own, stumbling where the two led him, once again dimly wondering whether they would just kill him, this was discarded after he thought about it for a while, that would be too merciful of them, it seemed unlike them, and apparently, they had use for him yet, they wouldn't kill him, maybe they would torture him too, to keep his mouth shut maybe, he couldn't think straight and wasn't entirely sure he wanted to, somewhat he wished he would just die at their hands.

He was led to their house, he did know that they lived together, all the faculty did and so did most of the students, things spread like wildfire, rumour is halfway across town before the truth had a chance to get its boots on, but sometimes rumour is more reminiscent of truth than you might think, just without all the details; they were almost married in all but name, but even as he knew, it seemed odd to see their shared residence.

Maybe today's theme was just odd.

An understatement most definitely, but it wasn't wrong either.

The house looked old, not run down but certainly not in the best condition, a tad creaky, they must've gotten it cheap and fixed it up slightly, considering that it was in a rather sketchy part of town, not the place you would expect two professors to live, definitely not ones of such coveted subjects, and Francis mildly wondered whether they'd brought the house together financially, was that how houses work, joined ownership was it called? Shared ownership?

Ivan opened the door, unlocking the door with some difficulty, he had to barge into it just a little to loosen it enough to open.

Francis really was in too deep, like a spider after mating, he had already gotten in too deep, but now he most definitely knew it, the doorway yawned over him in all its creaky glory, and he was swallowed within, he had to tread carefully lest he ends up in the mouth of the others.

The last day of term was normally a joyous occasion, people could go home, of course there was always the crushing fear of exams and failure, but if drowned in enough alcohol and ignored for long enough, it seemed to go away, or if it was replaced with other more pressing problems, and Julchen had all three on her roster, too much alcohol in her system, the loud noise of the bar somewhat distracted her from her academic worries, though these, of course, were less of contributors than the continued disappearance of Ludwig, it had been a couple of weeks now, and she had filed a report with the police, they seemed to not be particularly interested, and there was only so much she and Feliciano could do.

He had been a help, and a wonder, though again she still had no idea why he was doing it, she knew Ludwig had mentioned him in passing, but never often enough or with enough fondness or any emotion really behind it to really constitute a type of attachment or bond, but now she couldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, she was too tired to do that. He had gone off to flirt with someone or the other after he had a few drinks, he had invited her out after a particularly stressful night of poring over given information, suspicions, schoolwork and what not, it ended in her banishing Feliciano, not for any mistake of his own, she had started to sob quietly and did not want anyone to see her in that state after he tried to comfort her.

She felt bad that after all that, the next day he brought her out for celebratory drinks, there really didn't seem like there was anything to celebrate, he looked a mess that day too, but now he seemed absolutely fine, that man had a way of changing his moods with such speed and precision that it was a little scary, but now that she was pleasantly buzzed, she felt a little nicer about everything, she wasn't drunk per se but certainly wasn't all that sober, she didn't want to talk much and was content just sitting there.

It was kind of nice, loud and chaotic as it was, it felt oddly comforting, she normally didn't like bars and pubs and the like, she was usually only there for business purposes anyways, but coming here right now was probably the best ting for her sorry state, she needed no more time with her thoughts for a good while, she wanted them to shut up so very much, and the bar lent itself well to this.

She didn't expect anyone to sit next to her, and she expected less to actually recognise them.

"Tolys? Feliks?"

"The very same."

"Yep, that is I!"

Feliks span on the creaky barstool he was perched upon, clearly quite a bit drunk, and Tolys, his ever-suffering..friend?..at this moment Julchen couldn't remember if they were dating or not, the last time they talked they seemed to be, but that felt like it was so so very long ago, they'd drifted a bit after second year, and more every subsequent year, but they did talk sometimes, and right now, she didn't know why exactly, she wanted as many people as she could have around her.

What was I saying?

Ah yes, Tolys cuffed him round the head a little and kissed him on the nose, he was also clearly quite tipsy if he was doing such displays of affection in public, and they probably were still dating if this was anything to go by.

"So what's up with you?"

She remembered after a while that Feliks was doing art history and Tolys was doing medicine, they really seemed the opposite of each other sometimes, but then again they were also oddly similar, she was rarely this fond of people, it must've been the alcohol, there was no better way to explain it, and after a rather prolonged pause in which she hastily sought through her wretched mind for a good answer, she gave up and just said "Nothing much."

Feliks looked around, a bit like an owl, he had always been an odd kid, but the three were almost stuck at the hip until they got to high school, and even then they stayed close for far longer than most people can say early friendships lasted, they drifted yes, but not enough to become strangers to one another again, and when tipsy this shined clearer and he said "Where's Luddy?"

Julchen froze for a second, she felt terrible that she had forgotten about him, too wrapped up in her own silly little pleasures for once, and weighed her options she could lie, but she didn't have the energy for that, but if she just blurted it out it would completely ruin the entire atmosphere, so she moved her hand in an odd motion and said, almost defeated.

"Dunno, I dunno where he is anymore."

She took a big gulp of her drink to placate herself and her thoughts, the two looked at her oddly, and she noted their eyes two pairs of varying different shades of green, one like the forest and one like an emerald, the forest ones tilted with concern and Tolys spoke "What do you mean by that Julchen?" he sounded genuinely confused for a moment before seemingly coming to his senses as he sipped his drink causing him to give out a hacking cough "Wait, wait, shit is he missing!"

He certainly caught on much faster than she thought he would, but then again, he was almost like an older brother to Ludwig when they were younger, he would certainly, or at least was quite likely to still have a protective streak over him, and all Julchen could do was look into her drink and force herself not to cry, the night had been going so well, too well for the likes of her, clearly she seemed like she didn't deserve joy while Tolys panicked for a moment, roped Feliks in, who was not exactly the most lucid right about now, so that angle was dropped for now.

She was interrogated, though with good intentions by Tolys, and all the details she told him you already know, so I shall not bore you with them, he looked utterly distraught, he wasn't ready for that, no wonder Julchen seemed off.

She was about to get another drink when she was stopped by Feliciano, who had seemed to melt out from the crowd from absolutely nowhere, Tolys stood up, albeit shakily and threatened him, thinking he was some sleazeball who wanted to do unmentionable things to her, he was aware of her part way profession, so the threat was very real.

She was done right now, with pretty much everything and anything, and grabbed both of them, Tolys grabbed Feliks who really did seem to be on a different planet and stalked outside, she had good tolerance and hadn't had all that much to drink, at least compared to Tolys and Feliks, she wasn't sure whether Feliciano was sober or not, but he seemed attentive enough to at least corroborate her story if nothing else, and thus began the explanation.

But I shall not bore you with that, not yet at least, how about we move the scene a tad somewhere else? It's getting a bit boring here and there are quicker things to go onto, and I do sincerely apologize for jumping about so much, I don't usually do this.

Francis had been ordered to clean up a bit, something about him smelling like a barn, he couldn't remember, but he did end up in their shower not long after he had gotten into their house, home? The difference was arbitrary at best but it was a welcome distraction to his mind, it still felt like wet cotton, but now there were lice all infested within it, crawling and sticking to the cloth of his mind, itching incessantly, half-baked thoughts roaming free, not living long enough to ever come to a conclusion, but leaving dozens more in its wake, jumbled and bustling yet sodden and heavy.

Oddness was the energy of today, perhaps the feeling of oxymoron, was there an adjective for that? Oxymoronic? Francis supposed that his mind was playing tricks on him, trying to rationalize, he had asked them for help, he knew it would come at a price, and it wasn't all that bad, but these trivial thoughts were a comforting, really distracting blanket, albeit a thin one, over the tumult of nonsense that was his mind, like a scratchy but well-worn blanket during an illness, and his mind supplied what illness specifically, something horrific and incurable, spreading without want or reason, spreading to the mind, like rabies!

Though well that could easily be treated with antibiotics if he was under a threshold, he could be safe, rather he could've been safe, he had gone above that threshold, rabies, insanity, odd comparisons, but they all did have thresholds, as did pain, people have thresholds for a lot of things, sanity is a threshold isn't it, what was sanity, what is the difference between sanity and insanity, effectively an in at the beginning of the word changing the whole meaning, insanity was relative too, everything was relative everything was a spectrum, why didn't anything make sense, why was he here, he needed to leave, he needed to L E A V E.

His mind went blank as he swallowed, he had not a clue why, and wasn't sure whether he liked it or not, but right now he was just too tired to care, far too tired, he just needed to get washed up and leave, or do whatever the two told him to do, safest option right now, both for his shreds of sanity and his physical well being, he saw what Arthur could do, and if his fuzzy deductions were correct, the one on the far side, not Matthew the other one, the one with his head lolling, was Ivan's doing, he had no idea what was going on over there but that was somehow scarier than the blood and gore of the other two.

As he was...ah... going through it, as they say, Arthur and Ivan were in as close to marital bliss as two unmarried men could get to, believe me, it is close enough for you to really not know the difference, the only difference was that they were not in holy matrimony in the eyes of the lord, but at this point, it was scarcely possible to get into his good favours anymore, so they frankly could not care less.

The height difference was always fun, Ivan was tall but felt somewhat smaller than his height would suggest, he held himself in a way that made him look perpetually embarrassed of his height, and had an energy about him that was inviting, the type grandmothers would coddle over even at his age, and even with him towering over them, it was a natural ability, he had always been like this, and this was one of the better defences, when students said he looked like he ate children, it was meant entirely in jest, he was generally well loved by his students, and Arthur, both of which mattered equally to him, though technically his students were a large body and Arthur was only one, but hush with the semantics would you.

Arthur was about a good foot shorter than Ivan but seemed larger when in a room, if only because his presence was just somehow larger, like a swan almost, they seem larger than they are, and feel untouchable, beautiful with the opportunity to be deadly, but directly compared to Ivan, he looked tiny, and when with him Arthur felt not the need to pretend to be large, he liked being enveloped within Ivan's heart and body, he knew it was a foolish move, he was meant to be somewhat above most people, or at least he liked to think of himself as such, but the human heart was notoriously fallible, no matter what one did, and truly Arthur thought himself lucky.

He could have ended up with a whole lot worse of a man than Ivan, and currently as Arthur was stubbornly trying to force the lid of a tupperware container open without breaking the brittle box, the last of their meat, it just seemed fitting to give Francis a taste of what would be to come wasn't it, Ivan's cooking was always wonderful, and after a while in the freezer it had gotten a bit chewy, that was what usually happened at least, but something was better than nothing.

He failed and had to get Ivan to do it, though not without struggle, Arthur could open the box, but it would just break in the process, you would naturally think that Ivan was the one that relied more on brute strength, but it was more often Arthur, mainly because he had less of it to give, Ivan had constantly always been too strong for his own good and learnt to reign it in at an early age.

This means he could open the box without it breaking, something Arthur could scarcely be able to do, Arthur grumbled a bit, but as Ivan was standing right behind him he couldn't help but kiss the top of his grumpy little head, he loved this man more than he thought possible, honestly they would be terrible for anyone else other than each other, that was some of the beauty in them, it would quite literally be murder for anyone else.

He had never gotten used to how direct Arthur could be at times, he was generally more used to the reserved Arthur, or the sleepy cuddly type which he loved the most, the fiery passion that came over him sometimes was always unexpected, but most of the time it was very much welcome, Ivan was still wearing his suit, it was grimy but hell it was the last day of the semester, who cared, and Arthur pulled him around with it, now he was the one with his back against the counter, eyes wide and cheeks aflame.

He looked adorable, and Arthur really couldn't help himself, today had been a good day, and there were only very few instances where he could kiss Ivan without needing to tiptoe and Ivan having to bend down quite a bit, Arthur pressed him over the counter, probably hurt his back but hell it's home, they can do as they please, Arthur crashed his lips onto Ivan's, ok he did have to tiptoe still, but not much, Ivan's eyes, if possible, went wider, but he really wasn't complaining, he pulled Arthur in towards him, an easy task, and they continued until Arthur ran out of breath.

Ivan looked like a kicked puppy because Arthur had to disconnect, to breathe if nothing else, but tried and succeeded to placate Ivan with a lick on the lips, a little unsanitary but whatever, kissing was proven to be one of the worst methods of pathogen transportation, and for a moment they just stayed there, enjoying each others touch, before Ivan had to get up, and cracked his back doing so with an audible and somewhat painful sounding pop, and they finished heating the stew on the hob like nothing had ever happened, it took a while.

Frozen stews and curries were an absolute pain to melt properly, there was always something that stayed frozen or something that felt like the surface of the sun, but it would have to do, Francis would need his first taste, just to know that he could never go back.

Where was he anyways?

He hadn't left the shower but it had been a good 30 minutes he'd been in there, eh he probably needed the time, to clear his mind or something, Arthur knocked the door just in case, to tell him to be out soon.

Oddly domestic this was, at least Arthur and Ivan felt so, Francis was not in a position to have any say anymore, Francis came out not long after, he wasn't all that much taller than Arthur, so his clothes fit.

He never thought he would turn up in their house, bathing in their bathroom, and wearing one of his fellow Professors clothes, it was...odd, the whole situation was odd but right now he was in no state to complain, he could barely form a full sentence, he wanted to sleep.

Ivan and Arthur needed to clean themselves up too, neither took more that 5 minutes, and Francis was always in the sight of one of them, he didnt do anything, he just sat in the sofa, looking a different species of exhausted, it wasn't the exhaustion that came after an adrenaline high, it was similar, that played a part, but there was also the bone-deep tiredness that came with fearful acceptance, he had already gone through the gates of hell, there was no going back, but he hadn't been dehumanised the point that he could enjoy it, not yet at least.

They switched, the room remained in silence save for the quiet bubbling of the stew, Ivan was now out, sitting in his home clothes, he just looked innocent even when he was anything but it, he always did, it felt a little better anyhow, Arthur was just so overbearing like this, he was normally a bit scary but not to the point where just him looking at you did anything, he had heard that students of his did experience this, but he had never before and thought it to be silly, turns out it was not.

In the same way, Ivan was well loved, and often considered to be one of the nicest professors, but now it just seemed off-putting, it was probably a good guise but it worked even as Francis knew exactly what was happening, that cold dark little cabin, hidden away in the forest, no one would find them, he would have to do that too, he would be part of this whether he liked it or not, and no one would belive him if he did blab, and he would likely die from it, as his mind has supplied plenty of times before there was no way out other then obedience, and he was frankly slowly growing to accept it, a frightening thought most certainly, but it would keep him alive.

Yes, they would.

Probably.

His thoughts had just started to collect after what was a good half-week of them being everywhere, unfinished and jittery, scattered again, and his pulse quickened again at these thoughts, he was so tired but with adrenaline flowing through his veins again, his adrenal glands, poor things, working overtime to fulfil the wishes of the hypothalamus, he was still scared, like when a bear was made to dance, still a wild animal, just beaten into submission, people were slightly different, you could use words to break their minds too, ad he was sure Arthur would use this against him, but he was just too tired, even adrenaline can only do so much to one who hasn't slept in a good half week and hasn't eaten in about the same time, whose cried himself silly and experienced pretty much all of the negative emotions humans can feel in a very short period of time.

Arthur was out now too, he looked smaller when not wearing his suit and tie, he looked oddly human too, he went to go check on the stew, to move it about, make sure the meat was defrosting, with this Francis's eyelids drooped and closed, quite against his will, he was sitting as far away from the two as he could on their sofa, Arthur had climbed onto the sofa next to Ivan, partially on him.

They weren't as young as they used to be, and the stress of everything, marking and teaching were stressful things, and even as they both loved their jobs, it did become overwhelming rather easily, and they had two comforts, their toys as well as each other, Ivan fell asleep rather quickly, tired from the day that had just happened.

The house was pleasantly quiet, the stew was on very low heat s it was unlikely to burn or stick to the pot, human tasted nice, and like pork it was tough, and needed to be heated nicely as pork did, they could afford to waste some time here, at least for a little.

Though of course, this couldn't last all that long, the stew was done, Ivan was awoken with some difficulty, he slept like the dead when given the chance, and kept trying to hug Arthur and just go to sleep for the night, a fair move, but something they had to wait just a little longer to do, Ivan was drowsy as Arthur ladled out the stew, he looked younger with his hair all mussed up in home clothes with glasses on crooked.

Francis woke up to the bustling, he was anxious enough in his sleep, he didn't go all that deep into sleep either, hovering about the surface of sleep, and far easier to wake up.

They looked human. Monsters can be human though, don't let your eyes fool you.

The table was set and the stew was served, Ivan had the largest helping as usual, Arthur was oddly hungry too, they gave Francis only a bit to begin with, there was more in the pot, but he seemed hungry so it was likely he would eat more, even though he would probably just vomit it all out later if the anxiety got too strong, some food needed to get into him or it would be bad for all people involved, and it was good to give him a taste.

By the way Francis was eyeing it he did seem to have at least a good inkling about what was in the stew, but with the intent gaze of the other two, one questioning, one commanding, he took a bite, and then another, and another, his hunger got the best of him, and it tasted like pork, but milder, stringy but pleasantly so, and whatever spices were put into it had perfectly leached into it, he could almost forget that this was probably the flesh from some unfortunate student from god knows how long ago, they must only do this irregularly otherwise it would be suspicious, and the meat did have the texture of something frozen for quite a long time.

Ivan asked for more, and bread, which was given to him, and Francis didn't know what to do, he was starving and the food had only made it stronger, but he didn't want to dirty his soul by asking for more. Bit late for that Francis, bit late but alright.

He gave in, too hungry and tired to care, he knew he should've had a more violent reaction, but he was out of relations to give right now, and he ate in silence, the other two discussed things not of importance to mention here, but were somewhat distracting for Francis' mind, he could barely understand any of it, it didn't sound like words but they probably were, he was just too out of it to notice, or care, just the buzzing of syllables in his ears allowed him to ignore his mind, at least for the time being.

They stayed on the table for the best part of an hour, before Arthur called out to Francis, it took a while for him to realise they were calling out his name, his auditory processing had seemingly stopped working for a while, a completely normal occurrence during a panic attack, but he wasn't panicking, at least he probably wasn't, not to his knowledge, and when he looked at Arthur with completely blank eyes, his eyes were normally so pretty, even Ivan would say so, but now they looked broken, just scared even as Francis didn't realise, Arthur felt a list of things that normally aren't ones to coincide, especially not in him.

Pity, anger, guilt, and a couple others Arthur couldn't name swirled about, he wasn't meant to be like this, this wasn't well planned out, this wasn't even planned out, it had really just been a pipe dream for the longest time to get him to join, and now that he did, neither could understand why he was being so difficult, what was the problem in sacrificing your humanity for pleasure, it just made sense to them, but he looked just broken, and not the type that could be easily harnessed either, shattered rather than broken, with broken you could glue it back together with words and coaxes to slowly change it, with shattered that was far more difficult, some pieces would be lost, but it could still be salvaged, yes, but not right now, he needed sleep.

They would discuss this amongst themselves, if Francis wanted to get involved he could, but he didn't seem to be in the best place right now "Francis, would you like to sleep?"

He took a while to process before he shook his head and slowly said, lowly and a little cracked, nothing like the smooth suave voice they were used to hearing from him "N-no, not when I am the topic of discussion. What is it that you would like to say?"

The two looked at each other, emerald meeting amethyst, and the latter said "As you have been...indicted as it was, you have to get your own toy, we will help you of course, but none of us would be willing to share, and besides, it is necessary to know how to catch one."

It kind of sounded like catching a fish if the way Ivan was explaining it was to be believed, he wanted none of it, he wanted to go home, sleep for the entire winter break, maybe this was all just a bad dream or something, he didn't want to ruin some innocent life, it was unlikely that he would eat the body, it tasted nice apparently, but he was probably not to eat it, and that was certainly a lot of meat to have stored away.

"Do you have anybody in mind?"

He had not, and he said as such "No..?"

Ivan clucked his tongue "Have you information on any of them, ones with bad family histories, quiet or ignorable ones, disliked ones, knowing you that is very likely."

Francis could scarcely access his own thoughts to a functional level, let alone access his mental records about others, and he just stared at Ivan blankly, who grimaced, an odd expression on such a soft face and he said to Arthur, not even trying to hide it "I don't think he is with us yet."

Francis had a small spark of recognition in his eyes, but it faded quickly and said "C-can we discuss this later." he made an odd sound, kind of like a groan, went pale, got up, and puked into the toilet, all the food he had just eaten gone down the toilet, they had expected it, but it was a bit insulting for it to happen, especially to Ivan, but he forced himself to at least try to sympathise with his plight, they waited for him, he slumped over the toilet bowl and started to cry again.

Ugly tears of fear and whatnot streamed down his face, he curled up into himself, how had he just eaten that so eagerly, what was he even now, he was subhuman now, he barely registered being lifted up on one side by Arthur and the other by Ivan until they carried him into the bright living room and set him down on the sofa, put a blanket on him, and left the room, making sure everything was locked to stop him escaping.

They were confusing, scary, comforting and everything in between all at once and none at the same time, he couldn't dwell on this too long as he fell back into an uncomfortable, fitful, but deep sleep, the other two did the same, they were tired as well, and Ivan's back was not going to take anymore any time soon if he kept abusing it like so, the sound he made when he laid flat on his side of the bed was almost erotic, he slept quickly, and with Arthur buried in his chest, being held close with his arms, it was good, life was good sometimes, though as usual, Arthur squirmed a bit to be comfortable before falling into a deathlike sleep, they would have to catch up on a whole hell of a lot of marking during the break on days when they would be able to, at least they would be able to distress by way of their toys, and teaching Francis how to use and abuse them.

But for now they slept, some wept in an apartment not too far away, mourning a lost brother, no one mourned Alfred and Matthew, they were to stay for the break anyways, and they rarely called.

No one there to mourn or miss them, I'd say that's a bit worse, they wouldn't be missed until they were long, long beyond saving, probably gone, at least Ludwig had people to mourn, even if they were all a bit drunk right now, I shall go on about them in a bit, just you wait, for now I bid you adieu, though I hope not for long.

#The heam writes #The murder fic!#Hws England #Hws russia #Ruseng #Hws france #hws nyo Prussia #Hws poland #hws lithuania #5.7k chapter holy shit

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