#5.7k chapter holy shit

[the-heaminator]

Chapter 15 of the murder fic

They didn't let Francis return home that night, they had too many things to discuss, and he was a little too, how should I put this, rabid, liable to bite if he wasn't beaten enough?

He was certainly not in a good place by any stretch of the imagination, which to be fair was what they wanted, but he hadn't got close enough to the brink of insanity to be considered safe in their odd little way, and certainly seemed simply too disturbingly human and fallible for them to simply let him go, and they did actually have things to discuss.

He was frogmarched through the woods, to stop him running away, though with his unstable he seemed as he walked, stumbling and tripping over roots and whatnot, even if he did try in earnest, he wouldn't have gotten very far, and he seemed too downright scared to even try, he was almost limp in Ivan's grip while Arthur led the way through the dark and gloom back into town, they all looked a little scruffy, Francis looked utterly dishevelled, there was mud on his clothes and face, his eyes were darting around like a caged beast, but with the two others flanking him now, less attention came his way, the other two started to rather pleasantly discuss utterly horrifying things, rapid pace and quick-fire, and if one wasn't listening too hard, which no one would be at this time, it was mostly tipsy students on the streets at this time, celebrating the end of term before many of them had to go home for the holidays, pity the students who either elected not to go home or had no place to go.

Just out of town, they told, rather drilled it into Francis, that he needed to collect himself, stop crying, look like he simply fell down or something of the sort, his eyes were red and puffy, hair a matted scraggly mess, but he had stopped crying, somehow, Francis did not know how he managed it, fear probably, he felt cold, too cold, yes it was near midwinter, but this felt different, not the nibbling on his skin that came with the wind, or the clear-headedness that such a stiff breeze causes, he felt full of wool, like a marionette conducted by strings somewhere above him that he could not see and have no control over, full of wet wool, heavy and cold, he wanted nothing more than to just curl up and die

He could barely register his limbs as his own, stumbling where the two led him, once again dimly wondering whether they would just kill him, this was discarded after he thought about it for a while, that would be too merciful of them, it seemed unlike them, and apparently, they had use for him yet, they wouldn't kill him, maybe they would torture him too, to keep his mouth shut maybe, he couldn't think straight and wasn't entirely sure he wanted to, somewhat he wished he would just die at their hands.

He was led to their house, he did know that they lived together, all the faculty did and so did most of the students, things spread like wildfire, rumour is halfway across town before the truth had a chance to get its boots on, but sometimes rumour is more reminiscent of truth than you might think, just without all the details; they were almost married in all but name, but even as he knew, it seemed odd to see their shared residence.

Maybe today's theme was just odd.

An understatement most definitely, but it wasn't wrong either.

The house looked old, not run down but certainly not in the best condition, a tad creaky, they must've gotten it cheap and fixed it up slightly, considering that it was in a rather sketchy part of town, not the place you would expect two professors to live, definitely not ones of such coveted subjects, and Francis mildly wondered whether they'd brought the house together financially, was that how houses work, joined ownership was it called? Shared ownership?

Ivan opened the door, unlocking the door with some difficulty, he had to barge into it just a little to loosen it enough to open.

Francis really was in too deep, like a spider after mating, he had already gotten in too deep, but now he most definitely knew it, the doorway yawned over him in all its creaky glory, and he was swallowed within, he had to tread carefully lest he ends up in the mouth of the others.

*

The last day of term was normally a joyous occasion, people could go home, of course there was always the crushing fear of exams and failure, but if drowned in enough alcohol and ignored for long enough, it seemed to go away, or if it was replaced with other more pressing problems, and Julchen had all three on her roster, too much alcohol in her system, the loud noise of the bar somewhat distracted her from her academic worries, though these, of course, were less of contributors than the continued disappearance of Ludwig, it had been a couple of weeks now, and she had filed a report with the police, they seemed to not be particularly interested, and there was only so much she and Feliciano could do.

He had been a help, and a wonder, though again she still had no idea why he was doing it, she knew Ludwig had mentioned him in passing, but never often enough or with enough fondness or any emotion really behind it to really constitute a type of attachment or bond, but now she couldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, she was too tired to do that. He had gone off to flirt with someone or the other after he had a few drinks, he had invited her out after a particularly stressful night of poring over given information, suspicions, schoolwork and what not, it ended in her banishing Feliciano, not for any mistake of his own, she had started to sob quietly and did not want anyone to see her in that state after he tried to comfort her.

She felt bad that after all that, the next day he brought her out for celebratory drinks, there really didn't seem like there was anything to celebrate, he looked a mess that day too, but now he seemed absolutely fine, that man had a way of changing his moods with such speed and precision that it was a little scary, but now that she was pleasantly buzzed, she felt a little nicer about everything, she wasn't drunk per se but certainly wasn't all that sober, she didn't want to talk much and was content just sitting there.

It was kind of nice, loud and chaotic as it was, it felt oddly comforting, she normally didn't like bars and pubs and the like, she was usually only there for business purposes anyways, but coming here right now was probably the best ting for her sorry state, she needed no more time with her thoughts for a good while, she wanted them to shut up so very much, and the bar lent itself well to this.

She didn't expect anyone to sit next to her, and she expected less to actually recognise them.

"Tolys? Feliks?"

"The very same."

"Yep, that is I!"

Feliks span on the creaky barstool he was perched upon, clearly quite a bit drunk, and Tolys, his ever-suffering..friend?..at this moment Julchen couldn't remember if they were dating or not, the last time they talked they seemed to be, but that felt like it was so so very long ago, they'd drifted a bit after second year, and more every subsequent year, but they did talk sometimes, and right now, she didn't know why exactly, she wanted as many people as she could have around her.

What was I saying?

Ah yes, Tolys cuffed him round the head a little and kissed him on the nose, he was also clearly quite tipsy if he was doing such displays of affection in public, and they probably were still dating if this was anything to go by.

"So what's up with you?"

She remembered after a while that Feliks was doing art history and Tolys was doing medicine, they really seemed the opposite of each other sometimes, but then again they were also oddly similar, she was rarely this fond of people, it must've been the alcohol, there was no better way to explain it, and after a rather prolonged pause in which she hastily sought through her wretched mind for a good answer, she gave up and just said "Nothing much."

Feliks looked around, a bit like an owl, he had always been an odd kid, but the three were almost stuck at the hip until they got to high school, and even then they stayed close for far longer than most people can say early friendships lasted, they drifted yes, but not enough to become strangers to one another again, and when tipsy this shined clearer and he said "Where's Luddy?"

Julchen froze for a second, she felt terrible that she had forgotten about him, too wrapped up in her own silly little pleasures for once, and weighed her options she could lie, but she didn't have the energy for that, but if she just blurted it out it would completely ruin the entire atmosphere, so she moved her hand in an odd motion and said, almost defeated.

"Dunno, I dunno where he is anymore."

She took a big gulp of her drink to placate herself and her thoughts, the two looked at her oddly, and she noted their eyes two pairs of varying different shades of green, one like the forest and one like an emerald, the forest ones tilted with concern and Tolys spoke "What do you mean by that Julchen?" he sounded genuinely confused for a moment before seemingly coming to his senses as he sipped his drink causing him to give out a hacking cough "Wait, wait, shit is he missing!"

He certainly caught on much faster than she thought he would, but then again, he was almost like an older brother to Ludwig when they were younger, he would certainly, or at least was quite likely to still have a protective streak over him, and all Julchen could do was look into her drink and force herself not to cry, the night had been going so well, too well for the likes of her, clearly she seemed like she didn't deserve joy while Tolys panicked for a moment, roped Feliks in, who was not exactly the most lucid right about now, so that angle was dropped for now.

She was interrogated, though with good intentions by Tolys, and all the details she told him you already know, so I shall not bore you with them, he looked utterly distraught, he wasn't ready for that, no wonder Julchen seemed off.

She was about to get another drink when she was stopped by Feliciano, who had seemed to melt out from the crowd from absolutely nowhere, Tolys stood up, albeit shakily and threatened him, thinking he was some sleazeball who wanted to do unmentionable things to her, he was aware of her part way profession, so the threat was very real.

She was done right now, with pretty much everything and anything, and grabbed both of them, Tolys grabbed Feliks who really did seem to be on a different planet and stalked outside, she had good tolerance and hadn't had all that much to drink, at least compared to Tolys and Feliks, she wasn't sure whether Feliciano was sober or not, but he seemed attentive enough to at least corroborate her story if nothing else, and thus began the explanation.

But I shall not bore you with that, not yet at least, how about we move the scene a tad somewhere else? It's getting a bit boring here and there are quicker things to go onto, and I do sincerely apologize for jumping about so much, I don't usually do this.

*

Francis had been ordered to clean up a bit, something about him smelling like a barn, he couldn't remember, but he did end up in their shower not long after he had gotten into their house, home? The difference was arbitrary at best but it was a welcome distraction to his mind, it still felt like wet cotton, but now there were lice all infested within it, crawling and sticking to the cloth of his mind, itching incessantly, half-baked thoughts roaming free, not living long enough to ever come to a conclusion, but leaving dozens more in its wake, jumbled and bustling yet sodden and heavy.

Oddness was the energy of today, perhaps the feeling of oxymoron, was there an adjective for that? Oxymoronic? Francis supposed that his mind was playing tricks on him, trying to rationalize, he had asked them for help, he knew it would come at a price, and it wasn't all that bad, but these trivial thoughts were a comforting, really distracting blanket, albeit a thin one, over the tumult of nonsense that was his mind, like a scratchy but well-worn blanket during an illness, and his mind supplied what illness specifically, something horrific and incurable, spreading without want or reason, spreading to the mind, like rabies!

Though well that could easily be treated with antibiotics if he was under a threshold, he could be safe, rather he could've been safe, he had gone above that threshold, rabies, insanity, odd comparisons, but they all did have thresholds, as did pain, people have thresholds for a lot of things, sanity is a threshold isn't it, what was sanity, what is the difference between sanity and insanity, effectively an in at the beginning of the word changing the whole meaning, insanity was relative too, everything was relative everything was a spectrum, why didn't anything make sense, why was he here, he needed to leave, he needed to L E A V E.

His mind went blank as he swallowed, he had not a clue why, and wasn't sure whether he liked it or not, but right now he was just too tired to care, far too tired, he just needed to get washed up and leave, or do whatever the two told him to do, safest option right now, both for his shreds of sanity and his physical well being, he saw what Arthur could do, and if his fuzzy deductions were correct, the one on the far side, not Matthew the other one, the one with his head lolling, was Ivan's doing, he had no idea what was going on over there but that was somehow scarier than the blood and gore of the other two.

As he was...ah... going through it, as they say, Arthur and Ivan were in as close to marital bliss as two unmarried men could get to, believe me, it is close enough for you to really not know the difference, the only difference was that they were not in holy matrimony in the eyes of the lord, but at this point, it was scarcely possible to get into his good favours anymore, so they frankly could not care less.

The height difference was always fun, Ivan was tall but felt somewhat smaller than his height would suggest, he held himself in a way that made him look perpetually embarrassed of his height, and had an energy about him that was inviting, the type grandmothers would coddle over even at his age, and even with him towering over them, it was a natural ability, he had always been like this, and this was one of the better defences, when students said he looked like he ate children, it was meant entirely in jest, he was generally well loved by his students, and Arthur, both of which mattered equally to him, though technically his students were a large body and Arthur was only one, but hush with the semantics would you.

Arthur was about a good foot shorter than Ivan but seemed larger when in a room, if only because his presence was just somehow larger, like a swan almost, they seem larger than they are, and feel untouchable, beautiful with the opportunity to be deadly, but directly compared to Ivan, he looked tiny, and when with him Arthur felt not the need to pretend to be large, he liked being enveloped within Ivan's heart and body, he knew it was a foolish move, he was meant to be somewhat above most people, or at least he liked to think of himself as such, but the human heart was notoriously fallible, no matter what one did, and truly Arthur thought himself lucky.

He could have ended up with a whole lot worse of a man than Ivan, and currently as Arthur was stubbornly trying to force the lid of a tupperware container open without breaking the brittle box, the last of their meat, it just seemed fitting to give Francis a taste of what would be to come wasn't it, Ivan's cooking was always wonderful, and after a while in the freezer it had gotten a bit chewy, that was what usually happened at least, but something was better than nothing.

He failed and had to get Ivan to do it, though not without struggle, Arthur could open the box, but it would just break in the process, you would naturally think that Ivan was the one that relied more on brute strength, but it was more often Arthur, mainly because he had less of it to give, Ivan had constantly always been too strong for his own good and learnt to reign it in at an early age.

This means he could open the box without it breaking, something Arthur could scarcely be able to do, Arthur grumbled a bit, but as Ivan was standing right behind him he couldn't help but kiss the top of his grumpy little head, he loved this man more than he thought possible, honestly they would be terrible for anyone else other than each other, that was some of the beauty in them, it would quite literally be murder for anyone else.

He had never gotten used to how direct Arthur could be at times, he was generally more used to the reserved Arthur, or the sleepy cuddly type which he loved the most, the fiery passion that came over him sometimes was always unexpected, but most of the time it was very much welcome, Ivan was still wearing his suit, it was grimy but hell it was the last day of the semester, who cared, and Arthur pulled him around with it, now he was the one with his back against the counter, eyes wide and cheeks aflame.

He looked adorable, and Arthur really couldn't help himself, today had been a good day, and there were only very few instances where he could kiss Ivan without needing to tiptoe and Ivan having to bend down quite a bit, Arthur pressed him over the counter, probably hurt his back but hell it's home, they can do as they please, Arthur crashed his lips onto Ivan's, ok he did have to tiptoe still, but not much, Ivan's eyes, if possible, went wider, but he really wasn't complaining, he pulled Arthur in towards him, an easy task, and they continued until Arthur ran out of breath.

Ivan looked like a kicked puppy because Arthur had to disconnect, to breathe if nothing else, but tried and succeeded to placate Ivan with a lick on the lips, a little unsanitary but whatever, kissing was proven to be one of the worst methods of pathogen transportation, and for a moment they just stayed there, enjoying each others touch, before Ivan had to get up, and cracked his back doing so with an audible and somewhat painful sounding pop, and they finished heating the stew on the hob like nothing had ever happened, it took a while.

Frozen stews and curries were an absolute pain to melt properly, there was always something that stayed frozen or something that felt like the surface of the sun, but it would have to do, Francis would need his first taste, just to know that he could never go back.

Where was he anyways?

He hadn't left the shower but it had been a good 30 minutes he'd been in there, eh he probably needed the time, to clear his mind or something, Arthur knocked the door just in case, to tell him to be out soon.

Oddly domestic this was, at least Arthur and Ivan felt so, Francis was not in a position to have any say anymore, Francis came out not long after, he wasn't all that much taller than Arthur, so his clothes fit.

He never thought he would turn up in their house, bathing in their bathroom, and wearing one of his fellow Professors clothes, it was...odd, the whole situation was odd but right now he was in no state to complain, he could barely form a full sentence, he wanted to sleep.

Ivan and Arthur needed to clean themselves up too, neither took more that 5 minutes, and Francis was always in the sight of one of them, he didnt do anything, he just sat in the sofa, looking a different species of exhausted, it wasn't the exhaustion that came after an adrenaline high, it was similar, that played a part, but there was also the bone-deep tiredness that came with fearful acceptance, he had already gone through the gates of hell, there was no going back, but he hadn't been dehumanised the point that he could enjoy it, not yet at least.

They switched, the room remained in silence save for the quiet bubbling of the stew, Ivan was now out, sitting in his home clothes, he just looked innocent even when he was anything but it, he always did, it felt a little better anyhow, Arthur was just so overbearing like this, he was normally a bit scary but not to the point where just him looking at you did anything, he had heard that students of his did experience this, but he had never before and thought it to be silly, turns out it was not.

In the same way, Ivan was well loved, and often considered to be one of the nicest professors, but now it just seemed off-putting, it was probably a good guise but it worked even as Francis knew exactly what was happening, that cold dark little cabin, hidden away in the forest, no one would find them, he would have to do that too, he would be part of this whether he liked it or not, and no one would belive him if he did blab, and he would likely die from it, as his mind has supplied plenty of times before there was no way out other then obedience, and he was frankly slowly growing to accept it, a frightening thought most certainly, but it would keep him alive.

Yes, they would.

Probably.

His thoughts had just started to collect after what was a good half-week of them being everywhere, unfinished and jittery, scattered again, and his pulse quickened again at these thoughts, he was so tired but with adrenaline flowing through his veins again, his adrenal glands, poor things, working overtime to fulfil the wishes of the hypothalamus, he was still scared, like when a bear was made to dance, still a wild animal, just beaten into submission, people were slightly different, you could use words to break their minds too, ad he was sure Arthur would use this against him, but he was just too tired, even adrenaline can only do so much to one who hasn't slept in a good half week and hasn't eaten in about the same time, whose cried himself silly and experienced pretty much all of the negative emotions humans can feel in a very short period of time.

Arthur was out now too, he looked smaller when not wearing his suit and tie, he looked oddly human too, he went to go check on the stew, to move it about, make sure the meat was defrosting, with this Francis's eyelids drooped and closed, quite against his will, he was sitting as far away from the two as he could on their sofa, Arthur had climbed onto the sofa next to Ivan, partially on him.

They weren't as young as they used to be, and the stress of everything, marking and teaching were stressful things, and even as they both loved their jobs, it did become overwhelming rather easily, and they had two comforts, their toys as well as each other, Ivan fell asleep rather quickly, tired from the day that had just happened.

The house was pleasantly quiet, the stew was on very low heat s it was unlikely to burn or stick to the pot, human tasted nice, and like pork it was tough, and needed to be heated nicely as pork did, they could afford to waste some time here, at least for a little.

Though of course, this couldn't last all that long, the stew was done, Ivan was awoken with some difficulty, he slept like the dead when given the chance, and kept trying to hug Arthur and just go to sleep for the night, a fair move, but something they had to wait just a little longer to do, Ivan was drowsy as Arthur ladled out the stew, he looked younger with his hair all mussed up in home clothes with glasses on crooked.

Francis woke up to the bustling, he was anxious enough in his sleep, he didn't go all that deep into sleep either, hovering about the surface of sleep, and far easier to wake up.

They looked human. Monsters can be human though, don't let your eyes fool you.

The table was set and the stew was served, Ivan had the largest helping as usual, Arthur was oddly hungry too, they gave Francis only a bit to begin with, there was more in the pot, but he seemed hungry so it was likely he would eat more, even though he would probably just vomit it all out later if the anxiety got too strong, some food needed to get into him or it would be bad for all people involved, and it was good to give him a taste.

By the way Francis was eyeing it he did seem to have at least a good inkling about what was in the stew, but with the intent gaze of the other two, one questioning, one commanding, he took a bite, and then another, and another, his hunger got the best of him, and it tasted like pork, but milder, stringy but pleasantly so, and whatever spices were put into it had perfectly leached into it, he could almost forget that this was probably the flesh from some unfortunate student from god knows how long ago, they must only do this irregularly otherwise it would be suspicious, and the meat did have the texture of something frozen for quite a long time.

Ivan asked for more, and bread, which was given to him, and Francis didn't know what to do, he was starving and the food had only made it stronger, but he didn't want to dirty his soul by asking for more. Bit late for that Francis, bit late but alright.

He gave in, too hungry and tired to care, he knew he should've had a more violent reaction, but he was out of relations to give right now, and he ate in silence, the other two discussed things not of importance to mention here, but were somewhat distracting for Francis' mind, he could barely understand any of it, it didn't sound like words but they probably were, he was just too out of it to notice, or care, just the buzzing of syllables in his ears allowed him to ignore his mind, at least for the time being.

They stayed on the table for the best part of an hour, before Arthur called out to Francis, it took a while for him to realise they were calling out his name, his auditory processing had seemingly stopped working for a while, a completely normal occurrence during a panic attack, but he wasn't panicking, at least he probably wasn't, not to his knowledge, and when he looked at Arthur with completely blank eyes, his eyes were normally so pretty, even Ivan would say so, but now they looked broken, just scared even as Francis didn't realise, Arthur felt a list of things that normally aren't ones to coincide, especially not in him.

Pity, anger, guilt, and a couple others Arthur couldn't name swirled about, he wasn't meant to be like this, this wasn't well planned out, this wasn't even planned out, it had really just been a pipe dream for the longest time to get him to join, and now that he did, neither could understand why he was being so difficult, what was the problem in sacrificing your humanity for pleasure, it just made sense to them, but he looked just broken, and not the type that could be easily harnessed either, shattered rather than broken, with broken you could glue it back together with words and coaxes to slowly change it, with shattered that was far more difficult, some pieces would be lost, but it could still be salvaged, yes, but not right now, he needed sleep.

They would discuss this amongst themselves, if Francis wanted to get involved he could, but he didn't seem to be in the best place right now "Francis, would you like to sleep?"

He took a while to process before he shook his head and slowly said, lowly and a little cracked, nothing like the smooth suave voice they were used to hearing from him "N-no, not when I am the topic of discussion. What is it that you would like to say?"

The two looked at each other, emerald meeting amethyst, and the latter said "As you have been...indicted as it was, you have to get your own toy, we will help you of course, but none of us would be willing to share, and besides, it is necessary to know how to catch one."

It kind of sounded like catching a fish if the way Ivan was explaining it was to be believed, he wanted none of it, he wanted to go home, sleep for the entire winter break, maybe this was all just a bad dream or something, he didn't want to ruin some innocent life, it was unlikely that he would eat the body, it tasted nice apparently, but he was probably not to eat it, and that was certainly a lot of meat to have stored away.

"Do you have anybody in mind?"

He had not, and he said as such "No..?"

Ivan clucked his tongue "Have you information on any of them, ones with bad family histories, quiet or ignorable ones, disliked ones, knowing you that is very likely."

Francis could scarcely access his own thoughts to a functional level, let alone access his mental records about others, and he just stared at Ivan blankly, who grimaced, an odd expression on such a soft face and he said to Arthur, not even trying to hide it "I don't think he is with us yet."

Francis had a small spark of recognition in his eyes, but it faded quickly and said "C-can we discuss this later." he made an odd sound, kind of like a groan, went pale, got up, and puked into the toilet, all the food he had just eaten gone down the toilet, they had expected it, but it was a bit insulting for it to happen, especially to Ivan, but he forced himself to at least try to sympathise with his plight, they waited for him, he slumped over the toilet bowl and started to cry again.

Ugly tears of fear and whatnot streamed down his face, he curled up into himself, how had he just eaten that so eagerly, what was he even now, he was subhuman now, he barely registered being lifted up on one side by Arthur and the other by Ivan until they carried him into the bright living room and set him down on the sofa, put a blanket on him, and left the room, making sure everything was locked to stop him escaping.

They were confusing, scary, comforting and everything in between all at once and none at the same time, he couldn't dwell on this too long as he fell back into an uncomfortable, fitful, but deep sleep, the other two did the same, they were tired as well, and Ivan's back was not going to take anymore any time soon if he kept abusing it like so, the sound he made when he laid flat on his side of the bed was almost erotic, he slept quickly, and with Arthur buried in his chest, being held close with his arms, it was good, life was good sometimes, though as usual, Arthur squirmed a bit to be comfortable before falling into a deathlike sleep, they would have to catch up on a whole hell of a lot of marking during the break on days when they would be able to, at least they would be able to distress by way of their toys, and teaching Francis how to use and abuse them.

But for now they slept, some wept in an apartment not too far away, mourning a lost brother, no one mourned Alfred and Matthew, they were to stay for the break anyways, and they rarely called.

No one there to mourn or miss them, I'd say that's a bit worse, they wouldn't be missed until they were long, long beyond saving, probably gone, at least Ludwig had people to mourn, even if they were all a bit drunk right now, I shall go on about them in a bit, just you wait, for now I bid you adieu, though I hope not for long.

[boopjuice]

Sure, I've heard sex is great, but have you ever finished writing that one scene for a fic that's been stuck in your head for-fucking-ever and was at least 30% of the reason you started writing the fic to begin with?

[kamiversee]

The F*ck List (semi-official) Breakdown.

The following was submitted by my lovely ☃️anon, & I needed to make this it’s own post given how long it is, my replies & clarifications are written in between this breakdown & theory (Ex: A/N > Etc.). 

Here, you’ll find majority of details you may have missed & maybe even more to think about. Enjoy :)

(wc; 5.7k) (content; spoilers ofc)

holy shit Kami. i literally had to take the entire day to process everything. before anything else, i need you to know that you've created an absolute masterpiece. TFL was the first fic i ever cared to keep up with and it has set the bar impossibly high for any other writer out there. please take your time with TFL 2, i'm so excited to read your other work!! also a break sounds like it would be so good for your mind considering how long you've dedicated yourself to this story 😭😭😭 you're seriously impressive. heads up, i didn't proofread this at all bc i finished typing this at 4 am LMFAO so forgive me if it's all scrambled and makes no sense.

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A/N > Thank you for taking the time to write this breakdown, I seriously appreciate it so I wanted to take my time in responding to it & engaging with you :)

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now, on to the yap. i deadass cracked my knuckles before typing all this out.

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A/N > You’re so real for tht ngl

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i reread the entirety of TFL from chapter 1 and my brain is so melted from analyzing that i'll prob find more details tomorrow after i sleep on some theories 😭 BUT HOLY FUCK YOU REALLY WEREN'T KIDDING WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE HINTING AT GOJO'S OBSESSION SINCE LITERALLY THE FIRST CHAPTER??? the fucking hint being that "Gojo's desire for you is so strong it's almost frightening." GIRLLLLLL 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

your foreshadowing and referencing is insane. idk if you intended a lot of it, but a lot of it caught my eye.

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A/N> I TOLD YOU GUYS IVE BEEN DOIN IT SINCE THE FIRST CHAPTER !! Okay not exactly but like there was a vibe I had from the first chapter & when I later came up with the twist & went back and saw that everything would connect perfectly ^.^

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chapter 7; the reader and Gojo have lighthearted banter about how the reader "started this" situation.

"I made a mistake." [reader] 

"A good one." 

"Bad one." You correct.

this was regarding a completely different situation but it baffled me how much it connects to the plot itself; the reader making the "mistake" of leaving her door open, and how it lead to months full of trauma and love. probably completely unintentional, but such a good detail.

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A/N > Very intentional btw, it’s supposed to be known that, in a sense, Gojo x reader is forbidden :)

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Choso's still staring at you intently, "What version of you would someone not like?" 

The way he words his question only furthers that little feeling in your chest. It's almost as though he were implying that any and all versions of you would be acceptable in his eyes. - Chapter 16

THE WAY WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT CHOSO WOULD STICK BY US REGARDLESSSSSSSS AAAAAA WE'RE SO BLIND!!! i just hope this stays true to the sequel :')

"No, I wish you didn't have to hate me." He says, shutting his eyes again and sucking in a deep breath, "B-But... it's uh, It's okay. I can live with you hating me." - Chapter 21

AAAA WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!!! WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS WAS FORESHADOWING OUR FUTURE WITHOUT GOJO 😭😭😭 how he can live with the idea of the reader hating him so long as she's happy with Choso, especially considering his later revelations of how twisted his actions were and how if you stuck with him, he'd view you differently. fuck.

You despise the fact that he loves you. To you, it's almost entitled for him to feel like he has that right. How dare he hold such a strong emotion for you? If he felt this way, why is he forcing you to sleep with people for him? It makes no sense. 

Why would someone claim to love you and put you through so much? 

If he's been in love with you all this time, why start the list in the first place? Why couldn't he have just tried to win your heart from the beginning? Why the list? Why the blackmail? You don't understand him. - Chapter 23

i'm crushed. we didn't understand because we didn't know that Sukuna was involved. that could mean a million other things. i have some far-fetched theories about this but hear me out later!!!

the entirety of chapter 23 had me fucking floored while i was rereading. THE FORESHADOWING WAS EVERYWHERE!!! EVERY FUCKING WHERE

"No sweetheart, Sukuna's an asshole but..." His expression flickers and his smile fades away. He swallows and then clears his throat, "I'm pretty sure he'll satisfy you just fine." 

...

You narrow your eyes at him, "Are you sure?" 

...

 "Fuckin' positive," Gojo suddenly sounds pissed and you grow concerned. The arm around you gets a little tighter while he walks you through some crowds and you keep looking at the man confused. 

There's a vein popping out along his jawline because of how hard he's gritting his teeth.

of course he's aggravated because he knows that Sukuna is the one behind the list in the first place 😭😭😭 I'M SORRY WE DOUBTED YOU SATORU, FUCKKKK

——FIFTEEN MINUTES. That was the exact amount of time it took you to seduce Sukuna. The act was way too easy. Actually, it was suspiciously easy.

BECAUSE HE FUCKING KNEW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"What all did you plan on doing tonight aside from getting harassed by strangers?" Sukuna suddenly questions against your skin. 

You ignore how close he is and the way his lips make you tense, turning your head to face forward. Chuckling at his last comment, "Same thing as everyone else here." You reply, slightly confused by his question. 

"Bullshit," He utters, "Nobody dresses like this without the intent of gaining my attention," Sukuna claims while his hands slide back down along your body.

this 100% could be just him being cocky and Sukuna, but the recent reveal just makes this feel like an extra demeaning interaction. but of course, it's Sukuna.

chapter 24 is so fucking shady too with everything we know. i know you addressed some of these points already bc i brought them up in previous anon messages, but these things still had me paranoid;

the way Sukuna leaves us and tells the reader to go to his room after a certain amount of time (i know he could have just been tidying up real quick but everything about this man has me on edge)

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A/N> A lot of people are on edge about this but I’ll be honest, there’s nothing crazy that happens in between this time period. Not saying nothing happens but nothing crazy— it’ll be addressed later (in the next fic most likely)

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the way he's been consistently on the phone since the reader entered the room, which is shortly after she messaged Gojo saying that she'll be able to cross Sukuna off of this list by tonight which he wasn't happy with at all.

no seriously, he kept diverting his attention to something in the bathroom and then came out, still on his phone. maybe he's talking to literally anyone else but STILL I'M PARANOID

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A/N> This is to show the fact that Sukuna is a very socially active individual, & hints to the theory (I think you later state) that he has connections.

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this happens in chapter 25 but the way he keeps smiling while the reader kisses him is just so smug of him especially considering the original reason as to why the reader's even interacting with him

then the spicy chapters with Sukuna…

the foreshadowing that the lack of knowledge of Sukuna's reputation will come back to bite her in the ass; first with the knowledge that he is abusive, and then her finding out that he is the curator of the list, knowing the full details of her blackmail and even threatening her again.

WHO DID HE FUCKING FIGHT HELPPPPP MY MIND IS BOGGLING there's no way it's Gojo, right? they're both too unscathed in these next few chapters for there to have been a fight between the two of them.

┏━━━

A/N > It’s not Gojo. 🙏

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THE FUCKING MOMENT WHERE HE CONTEMPLATED SOMETHING WITH THE PHONE IN HIS HAND??? I FUCKING KNEW IT. I FUCKING CALLED IT WAS SOMETHING SHADY AS HELL.

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A/N> The other Sukuna hint I was talking about is right before this moment btw, you’re welcome ;)

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then he has the audacity to hold his tongue right afterwards?? it's such a big hint towards the fact that he knew about the list from the beginning UGHHHHHHHH.

the way he tried to humor the reader about her "job" even though he was in on the whole thing. UGH. SUKUNA WHEN I GET YOU SUKUNA?? 👊👊👊👊 especially with that "whore" joke right afterwards. i can't stand him. i know that it's implied that he has a twisted view on women from having abusive women in his life (his mom and his ex who he punched) BUT STILL. he's so lucky he's fictional and hot.

the fact that we're able to pick up on the fact that it's a "crazy coincidence" that he continues the whore jokes UGHHHHH HE HAS BEEN PLAYING US FROM THE STAAAAAARTT

Gojo got upset at something from Sukuna's party, he didn't want you to call yourself a whore all of a sudden, Sukuna seems to have believed that was your actual job, and you remember how pissed Gojo seemed as he thought about you sleeping with Sukuna- 

Holy fuck. Are the two connected somehow? Is something going on? What does Gojo owe Sukuna? Does Sukuna know you only slept with him as payment to clear Gojo's debt? Is-

GIRL YOU WERE ALMOST THERE!!!! YOU ALMOST HAD IT!!!

┏━━━

A/N > I love teasing in my narration by nearly spoiling things 😹

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---

seriously though, these chapters killed me. the official end obliterated my heart. it's so fucking bittersweet i want to scream at the top of a high building. the reader ends up happy and with someone she loves, which is fantastic for her. she deserves that after everything she went through. Choso treats her so, so well.

but Gojo. with the theories i have, i feel horrible. i was so harsh towards him as a die hard Choso girly but these endings changed me. i just hope i'm right.

the fact that his healing journey is harsher than ours makes this ending sting so much. he's healed, and you can see it with his demeanor from the call and the way he interacted with the reader.

we were always made aware of the way he looked at us such deep attachment. the initial gleam shows that he's happy to see us, but that he's not reliant on us for his happiness anymore. he's finding that on his own, and it's a grueling process for him. i wished the reader gave him a hug, but that would probably make me feel even worse.

┏━━━

A/N> He gave her a lil side hug (with his arm over her shoulder) & was resting his head on hers at the end if that makes you feel any better 😅

┗━━━

"Through my blackmailing, I fell for you but I also did it because I loved you from the start." i'm gonna throw up bro i'm so sad. i'm proud of his growth. his obsession was so, so strong but he always prioritized the reader's happiness over himself. i know that being self-sacrificial is so core to his personality but it doesn't make it suck any less. i'm devastated. i started blasting mitski in the car on my way to work after reading this.

i thought i was ready for the journal burning. i was so ready for this tie to be severed, for them to finally move on. but i failed to realize that it could ultimately mean a life without each other. it makes sense as to why, but it still sucks.

kami i need that poly ending before i cry my eyes out at 4 am rn. you know i can't handle angst, but bittersweet endings lowkey hurt me even more. i need all my babies to be happy. i desperately need it.

but that alt ending... fuck. in a horrible, sick, and twisted way, i'm relieved. i'm a Choso girly from the bottom of my heart but i can't let this Gojo go omfg. even if he shows up for one more chapter, i think i'll be alright. BUT IT BETTER NOT BE FOR DEATH KAMI!!!! I HAVE A FEW EXCERPTS THAT SUGGEST DEATH FLAGS BUT I AM SIMPLY NOT LOOKING AT THEM. DON'T DO THIS TO ME KAMIIIIIII. i need this boy to be frolicking in a field of flowers or something. my heart can't take this.

┏━━━

A/N> I know I reference death a lot but that’s just to add a sense of how dramatic the characters are 🫶

┗━━━

---

okay, time for my mind-fucky theory. pls bare with me. if it wasn't obvious by my last post, i'm 100% on board with the theory that Sukuna's blackmailing Gojo, which started this whole thing. but the thing that is getting me is how this all connects. i have some assumptions that could make sense, but there are a handful of gaps. here's my thought process;

Sukuna's blackmailing Gojo by using his obsession/love against him.

we are already familiar with the fact that Gojo has liked the reader for years. there was a chapter where Gojo mentioned that it started off as a "crush" but he was so oblivious to his own obsession up until the reader mentioned it to him. it's to the point that he didn't understand what was wrong with the idea of hurting people for the reader. who's to say that Sukuna didn't catch him in some sort of heinous act regarding the reader like stalking?

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A/N > You’re cooking with this one and I almost, almost had to go get the fire extinguisher :D

┗━━━

Gojo didn't understand the difference between love and obsession until later on in the story. this would be consistent with the implication that Gojo just loved her so deeply that his morals were askew as we have yet to find out how far his love goes.

what if Sukuna caught him in the act of doing god knows what, and brought up the fact that if the reader found out about this, that she'd get super freaked out and would do everything she can to get away from him (considering probably barely knew each other, if at all, at this point). but why would Sukuna devise such a plan over a money bribe? well, Sukuna's already revealed to be wealthy, and maybe he was bored. the same line that Gojo kept repeating to the reader whenever she questioned him as to why he did it. what if Gojo asked Sukuna why he's blackmailing him, and he said the exact same thing; "I was bored." we see how much Sukuna mirrors Gojo's speech by calling the reader "sweetheart" often, what if Gojo did the same thing? 

┏━━━

A/N > Gojo & Sukuna do have a few parallels in this story & they will be addressed more in the sequel.

┗━━━

we wondered in chapter 23 how Gojo reaches out to these men to ensure their debt is "paid," but considering how oblivious everyone else on the list is to Gojo owing them anything, it would make sense that he only reports to Sukuna as he is ordered to do so. but two things stumped me on this theory overall.

the reader said that she used to party a lot and get involved with boys before Gojo. if he was stalking her for so long, why did he wait so long to approach her?

what specifically would be the blackmail that Sukuna has on Gojo?

regarding the first point, it's been mentioned that Gojo has been "scared of women" and was shy when it came to approaching the reader. he knew of her for so long, but was able to constantly slip under her radar. considering how much of a pervert he is, it wouldn't have been surprising for him to sneak around and watch in on the reader hooking up with other guys. after all, these guys were probably complete strangers to him and all he cared about was you. remember how Gojo was basically able to tune out his own best friend, Suguru, when the reader was hooking up with him in their living room? it wouldn't be wild to assume that he was able to do the same for your other hookups as he spied on you.

to connect this with second point, what if Sukuna caught Gojo being a peeping tom on the reader during a party hook-up? while being so distracted in the act of spying, Sukuna spots him. the reader wouldn't be alright with the fact that someone who's barely an acquaintance (if that, depending on the time this occurred) to her has been perving around and watching her have sex without her consent. she would do anything to get away from Gojo, and of course that would crush him. Gojo tried to buy Sukuna's silence by any means necessary. so, Sukuna generated a list of people that he and Gojo mutually knew for the reader to fuck. the reasoning for it would be the fact that Gojo has to sit through the process of having the girl he likes fuck a bunch of guys besides him, and the fact that Gojo knew all these men would make it sting more. plus, he has a reputation for hookups. (chapter 8)

┏━━━

A/N > You’re like RIGHT there with it and yet not there at the same time omg 😟

┗━━━

but why would Gojo agree to this deal with Sukuna, and why would he also go with the method of blackmailing the reader? it's basically a guarantee that the reader would be scared away regardless. but again, we could recall that Shoko mentioned that he was too "scared of women" to approach the reader at first. this was his chance to finally approach her. plus, "once that video is gone, there is no excuse he'll have to be around you." (chapter 8)

---

but the more i thought of this reasoning for the two points, the more bizarre it felt. so what if instead of Gojo being a peeping tom, it was Sukuna. we get so many hints that Sukuna has eyes and intel everywhere. we get an indirect implication of this when he called us out for rolling our eyes during our phone call with him. yes, it could be completely by chance, but it's still a great hint that he "sees everything" and "knows everything." we get an even bigger hint towards this in the alt ending when he directly references The F*ck List.

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A/N > Others have taken note of how Sukuna knew she rolled her eyes but trust me, that’s just to show that Sukuna knows the reader’s body language more than he’s let on & paid attention to her a lot during the time they were together. 

┗━━━

it wouldn't be too far fetched to assume that he has some shady videos taken of people without his consent, some possibly acquired through other people (like how Gojo was revealed to have sent Sukuna the video of the reader from the first chapter). what if Gojo caught Sukuna with the video, threatened him to delete it, and Sukuna counterthreatened to have it be sent and posted everywhere. it would be highly ironic, but consistent with the way that Gojo and Sukuna practically mirror each other at times. the reasoning for the list choices would still be the same for this theory, too.

---

my citations for these theories ☝️🤓

“You once asked me if I love you because I blackmailed you or if I blackmailed you because I love you and my answer is both,” Gojo confesses as he turns to meet your gaze, “Through my blackmailing, I fell for you but I also did it because I loved you from the start.” - Chapter 56

loved you from the start; his obsession has been consistent from the start (supports Gojo being a peeping tom theory) or he has always had a deep concern for you (supports him wanting to stop Sukuna from spreading blackmail of you instead).

“I’ve sacrificed everything for you, y’know.” 

“How? What’s everything that you’ve sacrificed, hm?” 

“You. I sacrificed the woman I love to make her happy.” Gojo admits, and of all he’s said thus far, that feels like the truest statement. 

“I could’ve been happy with you.” You remind him. 

He laughs, “Yeah well, I’m an idiot.” 

You scoff, “That’s all you have to say?” 

“Yup.” - Chapter 56

is he an idiot for being a peeping pervert instead of just approaching you normally? maybe. how does this make her happy? she ends up finding love through Choso, through the list, through the blackmail.

But deleting the video means ... he has no more leverage over you and can't force you to help him with the hole he's dug for himself. -  Chapter 8

the hole being the blackmail set against him by Sukuna.

Gojo's behind you cursing at himself for being unable to tell you the truth. 

He's so scared that you'll never help him without the blackmail and, well, he has every right to be because you're pretty sure that if it weren't for those videos he has over your head, you wouldn't be doing any of this. - Chapter 9

the videos he's referencing is the original video from chapter 1 and the fake video he lied about with Suguru, but he can't tell the reader the truth because it's too twisted and risky (supports Gojo peeping tom theory).

He silences himself in thought. There are so many ways he could go about answering such a question but the possibilities of how you may react are endless. Plus, you're drunk and if he's going to admit or explain anything to you, it'll be while you're sober. 

"Because..." Gojo's voice gets so quiet that you almost don't catch what he says, "...I don't have any other choice." - Chapter 21

if he didn't go through with his list, Sukuna would have went through with Gojo's blackmail, thus resulting in either you getting as far away from Gojo as soon as possible or Sukuna's video being sent around.

He let something slip abruptly, "W-Wish I c-could tell you everything, sweets..." 

Your brows furrow at that. 

Are you missing something here? - Chapter 22

YES GIRL!!!! SUKUNA'S BEHIND THE WHOLE LIST, HE'S BEHIND THE BLACKMAIL GIRLYPOP

"Anything," Gojo says, meeting your gaze. He's so serious that it's almost dark the way he looks at you, "I'd do anything for you." - Chapter 29

"I meant it when I said I'd do anything for you." 

You follow his motions and then end up right back in his arms, "Right..." 

"I'd sacrifice the very thing I love just to see you happy." Gojo claims proudly. 

You scoff, "Thought' I was the thing you loved?" 

"You are." 

His words bewilder you, "Then that makes no sense." 

"It won't." Gojo shrugs. - Chapter 29

🧍‍♀️

anything. even if it means putting your body, heart, mind, and career on the line. directly supports the theory that Sukuna initially had blackmail on the reader.

"We're the same, y'know..." He suddenly says, his voice breaking again, "We both want someone so terribly bad but our situations prohibit us from getting that person." 

"You could've prevented all this though..." 

Gojo sniffles and you feel a drop of wetness slide down his cheek and slip against your palm. The man was crying? Why? - Chapter 30

this whole time we've been told that Gojo and the reader share more similarities than the reader realizes. what Gojo is to the reader, the reader is to Choso. while Choso now knows of the men that the reader slept with, he doesn't know why. he doesn't know about you being blackmailed. you know that you had to sleep with these men. you don't know why. you didn't know it was because of Gojo being blackmailed.

"For loving me, Satoru. It's not a crime," You say, mocking a comment he made to you earlier, "You're allowed to love me. So, for that, and that only, I forgive you." 

Those words healed so many more wounds in his heart than you realized. It was like that was all he ever needed to hear. If Gojo's mistake was loving you and that's what caused this, then you forgive him. 

If in some twisted way, his feelings started the list, you forgive him.

COME ON NOW.

There’s so much going unspoken but the two of you knew what either was saying, you understood each other more than either of you realized. - Chapter 35

“Well,” Gojo sighs heavily and then draws your hands off his face, leaning down to you a bit, “Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made in exchange for one’s happiness.” 

“Are you telling me that all this was for the greater good?” You quiz as you raise a curious brow. 

“Something like that, yeah,” He shrugs. - Chapter 45

You tell him, “If I had one wish, it’d be that you did that from the beginning.” 

Gojo opens his mouth to say something but then he swallows his words down. He nearly fucked up. 

“All you had to do was talk to me,” Your shoulders raise into a shrug as you move a hand to the doorknob, “Things could’ve been different if you did.” 

“Even if I’ve been obsessed with you since the beginning?” He questions and he’s stepping closer to you again. He can’t possibly wrap his head around that possibility- 

You laugh a bit, “Especially if you were obsessed from the beginning,” You didn’t know it but that statement right there made the man feel as though his world was falling apart, loads of regret tumbling over him as he stares at you with wide eyes, “Satoru I think you forgot but, before all this started, aside from Shoko… I was lonely.” 

Gojo’s throat goes dry and he fails to form a response to that, “I…” 

“If you had just talked to me one time, and more than a hey or how are you,” The way your eyes soften, a slim sheer gloss of tears coating your gaze as you speak to him, “I would’ve fallen for you.” 

He grits his teeth, “Don’t tell me that.” 

“But it’s true.” You say. 

And just like that, Gojo was crumbling all over again. If only you knew how much he regretted everything after hearing you say that. - Chapter 46

if he had just spoke to the reader before all of this, maybe she wouldn't have gone to those parties, hooked up with those people, and caused whatever kind of blackmail Sukuna had on Gojo (or on her).

He wishes he could take it all back, his feelings for you included. If only he could go back and stop himself from ever being curious about you. That’s what started it after all. Because, at the end of the day, Gojo knew who you were before you knew who he was— hell, even before Shoko knew who you were. - Chapter 53

then what is the timeline of his obsession starting? has it been before Gojo? could his blackmail have taken place even before Shoko introduced you two, adding to the weight of the threat that Sukuna held over Gojo's head (regarding the peeping tom theory).

┏━━━

A/N > The timeline on Gojo’s interest, not obsession just yet, on the reader will be addressed in the sequel so this’ll be answered there <3

┗━━━

---

but there were certain parts that stumped me and my theories so i have some weird reasonings around them;

It's selfish of him and seriously fucked up but, he's said it before and he'll say it over and over again-- you're all he has. He made promises to everyone on that list, promises of delivering a woman to them at some point, and of course, he couldn't convince anyone he knew to do such a thing. 

So again, the situation with you just happened to be a coincidence. 

The problem is that Gojo hates that it's you. He hates that you're the one he ended up doing this to. - Chapter 8

Gojo's known to be a silly guy so it could make sense that he actually did promise these guys hookups for reasons unrelated to his blackmail. after all, he does have a reputation for getting people hookups. the coincidence is that Sukuna now has dirt on Gojo and wants to toy with him. by making the reader sleep with them the guys he coincidentally owes hookups to, he fulfills his role/reputation and relieves his debt at the same time. two birds, one stone.

┏━━━

A/N > As we later learn that some of the “debt” Satoru claimed to have isn’t real, we can also infer that his reputation & the promises he’s made to these men were done out of coincidence. Take Toji for example; tell me you can’t see an interaction between him & Gojo where Gojo gets a bad grade and wants to get it up so he taunts his professor with the idea of getting him a hookup & Toji would laugh it off considering Gojo’s reputation ;)

┗━━━

another thing that stumped me is why Gojo got so worked up with the reader referring herself as a whore, and the connection to Sukuna. my delulu reasoning is that once Sukuna threatened Gojo with blackmail by either of the two theories/methods i mentioned, Sukuna casually referred to the reader as a whore. that caused a major fight between the two, possibly even getting physical (which can refer back to the implication that Gojo has hurt people for the reader).

the fight could have increased the tension and severity of the situation, so Sukuna decides to add Choso to the list knowing how easily attached Choso gets. in chapter 5, the reader and Gojo were discussing the list and Choso specifically. Gojo was even noted to be relieved when the reader had mentioned that they'll just have to hope that Choso doesn't get attached, as he obviously holds deep feelings for the reader. Sukuna knows that by going through with the blackmail with Choso involved, Gojo most likely will not end up with the reader if Choso get attached and the reader reciprocates those feelings.

also, the counterargument that Sukuna and Gojo are actually friends/allies in this situation just doesn't sit well with me. it would make for a crazy twist but it just feels too out of character for Gojo. but then again, how would Sukuna specifically know about The F*ck List? but idk, it just feels so wrong to me. maybe i have too much faith in Gojo lmfao. after all, he has consistently shown a great dislike towards the guy since chapter 23. but maybe it's my denial speaking. i really don't want to think of Satoru going through this whole arc only for it to reveal that he truly is a piece of shit. pls don't do this to my pookie my heart cannot handle it </3

┏━━━

A/N > Remember, Gojo is a good actor & you go a long period of time in the book not realizing he’s not as much of a villain as he pretends to be 😉 

┗━━━

there's that moment after the reader fucked Sukuna that still messes with my brain. with my theories, my brain's thinking that he contemplated on collecting even more blackmail on the reader. for what reason? idk, to be an ass? to torment Gojo further and add more to his blackmail? but maybe he decided not to because he already has plenty of blackmail on the reader (if the theory of Sukuna having a video of her from way back then is true) and fucking her knowingly made Gojo pissed considering all the dirt Sukuna has.

so why can't Gojo tell her the truth now? why does he want to wait years in advance? maybe he's hoping that by that time, not only will you forget and not care about the situation overall, but maybe Sukuna will forget all about it as well. the chances of Sukuna holding on to the reader's blackmail for that long is slim and the reader would most likely be in a situation where she is completely separated from Sukuna depending on her job and living situation with Choso. the stakes are lower than if he were to reveal everything to you now, at a moment where your life is still so uncertain. it would go against his wish for you to end up happy.

┏━━━

A/N > Maybe Gojo doesn’t tell her the truth because he can’t, just as he said 🌚 Perhaps he’s not allowed to yet. After all, why would Sukuna even tell the reader he made the list in the end? ^.^ Just some food for thought!

┗━━━

---

regarding the future of TFL... fuck, bro. i have no fucking idea. i'm too caught up in the (presumed) past. i'm mourning fr. i love this fic sooooo fucking much. whenever you decide to pick up on the sequel, i will be there. if you choose to publish anything else in the meantime, i will be there. thanks for such a fun and memorable read, Kami. i'm excited to bookbind this soon 🤍🤍🤍 now, i need to watch blue lock to shove these feelings down.

yap fin (for now)

-☃️

A/N > I love you sosoosooooo much for this. These theories are like reading an entirely new fanfic sometimes except, I know all the answers & what’s going to happen next, which only makes me more excited ^.^ Thank you for taking the time to make this, thank you for reading, thank you for supporting, just, THANK YOU.

This right here is exactly what I write for; people like you :)

To the others reading this breakdown & theory, thank ☃️anon because she’s a damn godsend & ilhsm ^.^ (definitely showing favoritism rn, sorry not sorry, ily all I swear)

Edit; Since you’re watching Blue Lock, I can’t wait to bring my Shidou fanfic here because a lot of the drama in TFL has inspo from that fic, which I wrote first ^.^ & I could totally see you enjoying it because not only is it a childhood friends to lovers than enemies & back to lovers troupe BUT it also includes Itoshi Sae x reader which ofc, adds hella drama :))

P.S. It’s two am as I finally post this and omg sorry it took me a while, I wanted to answer other anons first before unpacking this badboy, again, tysm!!

[loveharlow]

SEVEN - 003

PAIRING ‧₊˚ JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader

SYNOPSIS‧₊˚ [5.7k] based on 1x03.

WARNING(S)‧₊˚ swearing, mentions of death/grief, creepy older man behavior, pining/unrequited love, assault/mild violence

NOW PLAYING‧₊˚

A/N‧₊˚ In regards to all published chapters, this one is my favorite.

˗ˏˋ series masterlist ˎˊ˗

YOU PICKED UP THE OBJECT, SLIDING IT TO JOHN B THROUGH THE CRACK IN THE STONE.

“That’s not gold.” Pope spoke despondently with a childish frown.

“Holy shit,” John B spoke, ignoring his friend's sadness. You climbed your way back out of the tomb, dropping next to JJ who helped you dust yourself off as JB continued speaking. “This is from my dad.”

It was a bittersweet moment, hope that maybe this wasn’t all for naught. However, the rev of an engine in the distance made your smiles drop, a golf cart pulling up in the distance. You all began shoving each other out of sight and behind the tomb, panic clearly present.

“John B, your light!”

“Turn your light off.” You all hissed at him, the boy being the only one with his source of light still bright and kicking. From your distance and the lack of daylight, none of you could tell whether it was the square groupers or not, but you all decided to throw all caution to the wind when it looked like the person in the driver’s seat had a gun. 

“Screw this.” Kiara said, getting up and bolting, the rest of you following quickly behind her. You almost knocked one another over trying to jump the fence, everyone making it smoothly besides Pope, who managed to get stuck. By his pants.

In your rush, you all practically ripped the boy off the gate, leaving his pants behind before piling in The Twinkie and speeding off, giggles filling the vehicle. 

“ARE YOU INTENTIONALLY IGNORING THE MOLD ON THAT BREAD?” You questioned, disgust written all over your face as JJ spread peanut butter all over the mold-ridden slice. You were back at the “safety” of The Chateau, waiting for John B to build up the courage to open the package — a large white FedEx envelope, ‘For Bird’ written across it, the nickname his dad had given him. 

“I’ll just pull off the bad parts,” JJ reassured with a shrug, putting the slices together. “Plus, mold is good for you.” You made a sound of disgust before leaving the small kitchen space with the blonde trailing behind you, the two of you stopping behind John B who was seated, looking over his shoulder alongside Kiara and Pope.

Taking a deep breath, he ripped open the package quickly, JJ gagging behind your head after taking a bite of his sandwich, a sass-filled ‘told you’ leaving your lips as your eyes focused on the items John B was pulling out of the parcel.

The first thing was a map — black and white with notes on it. Coordinates, The Lighthouse and The Cut labeled on it, some kind of whirly drawing, and X marked over some area. The next thing was a tape recorder, blue, small and dusty.

John B paused for a moment before pressing play. The mechanism came to life, a static cassette-like sound coming through before a voice was heard.

“...Dear Bird,” The nearly forgotten sound of Big John’s voice filled your ears, just as deep and brassy as you remember, the southern twang in his speech causing a small smile to form. “I hate to say ‘I told you so’ but, I told you so. And you doubted your old man…I suspect at this moment, you’re filled with guilt and self-loathing over our last fight. But don’t kill yourself just yet, kid. I didn’t expect to find The Merchant either.” 

You wondered if you heard that correctly. Big John had actually found The Royal Merchant? Looks were shared amongst the group but nobody said a thing, letting the recording continue.

“You were probably right to call me out. Wasn’t exactly father of the decade. What can I say, kid? I could smell the barn… hopefully we’re listening to this in our brand-new sugar shack down in Costa Rica, livin’ off passive investments and pulling on permits. If not, and you find this for less than optimal reasons, well…that’s what the map is for. There she is, The Wreck of The Merchant. If something happens to me, finish what I started. Go for the gold, kid. I love you, Bird, even if I didn’t always act like it…I’ll see you on the other side.”

And then the tape was ending, leaving you with a million more questions than you all had walked into this with. The house was silent, you all silently anticipating what John B was going to say or do. If he was going to cry or scream.

You sighed when the boy got up, chair scooting harshly across the floor as tears became evident in his waterline as he turned around and practically collapsed against the wall, sobbing. Hugging the structure as he slid down slowly, unable to fully hold himself up.

Kie was the first and only one to walk over to him, laying her head of curls against his shoulder blade in comfort.

“HOW MUCH WAS IT AGAIN?” JJ quizzed, the group of you sitting on the dock outside The Chateau in the middle of the night, nothing visible for miles. Just the stars in the sky and the sound of cicadas.

“Four hundred mil’.” Pope answered, staring out into the distance as he sat on the rail. 

“All right, let’s talk the split.” JJ started. “Now, before you say evenly, may I remind you that I am the only that can properly defend us from those groupers who were after us?” He tried, whirling the gun around his finger. “Protection? Not cheap.”

“You’ve done zero training.” Pope reminded him as you taught Kiara chords on her ukelele and John B sipped mindlessly on a beer, paying no mind to the four of you.

“Youtube, bro!” JJ argued back. “That’s at least a five percent bump right there.” 

All you could do was roll your eyes, Kiara’s strumming ceasing as she turned to Pope. “What’re you gonna do with your share, Pope?”

“...Pay for college in advance.” He nodded his head as he spoke with conviction, staring down at his knees. “And also textbooks. Those are expensive.” You couldn’t help but chuckle. You wondered what Pope was gonna do when he realized that school will come to an end one day. “What about you, Kie?”

“Yeah, what does a socialist do when she’s rich?” JJ poked.

“Just���wanna make a double album.” She shrugged cutely, a small smile playing on her lips. “‘Bout OBX, the pogues. Y’know, the way Catch a Fire is about Kingston. Record it at Marley Studio, Peter Tosh producing…”

You could help but make a face, turning to the girl next to you. “Peter Tosh is-”

“Peter Tosh is dead, I know. The Spirit of Peter Tosh will never die.” She spoke optimistically. “And what about you, huh?” She nudged your shoulder playfully. “Got any big plans for your cut?”

You stared up at the sky, a look of thoughtfulness on your face as you bit the inside of your cheek. “Travel.” You said simply, looking back at the friends around you. “With Marley, of course. Paris, Italy, Thailand, Japan… Oh! Bora Bora…” You spoke dreamingly. “I’d send you all postcards and, like, candy and shit from each place. I’d come back home every now and then, though.”

“You’d take the dog with you?” JJ questioned.

“Um, yes,” you answered like it was the easiest thing in the world. “...Marley and my guitar are the only things I really have left of my dad, everything else is memories and pictures, and I think taking Marley with me would be like taking him too, in a way. He always wanted to travel, anyway. Just never had enough money and too scared of planes. So, I hope the airlines are okay with me booking a first-class seat for a 65 pound Golden Retriever.” You chuckled. 

“I know what I’m gonna do.” JJ shrugged nonchalantly.

“And what’s that, blondie?” You whipped your head towards him, kicking your feet against the wood.

“I’m gonna get a big ass house on Figure Eight and go full Kook. Gonna get a marble statue of myself, and then I’m gonna get a koi pond.” You and Kie couldn’t help but share a look, bursting out into giggles.

“I’m never visiting.” She said through her fit of giggles, JJ simply shrugging at her statement and throwing a piece of grass he'd been rolling into a ball at you. 

“What’re you gonna do, JB?” Pope asked the boy who hadn’t spoken in almost an hour. You all anticipated his response, not even knowing if he would respond.

He simply smiled smally, not making any moves to look at you all. “...To going full Kook.”

IT WAS THE NEXT MORNING AND YOU HAD ALL ALREADY BOARDED THE HMS POGUE, A DAY OF SUNLIGHT NEVER WASTED. JJ whistled, lowering his shades and eyeing the boat coming towards you all and heading in the opposite direction. “You guys see that? That’s the Malibu 24-MXZ, the world's finest wakesetter. Number one in luxury, quality, and performance.” You liked seeing this “nerd” side of JJ — the one who knew heaps of information about bikes and cars and boats. 

“I hate to break it to you guys but that’s Topper and his girlfriend.” Kie spoke nastily, eyeing the couple coming into clear view next to the five of you. The two blondes eyed the group of you down without shame, even behind their blacked out sunglasses you could tell.

Sarah lifted the aforementioned shades from her face, giving you all a distasteful glance, eyes lingering on you and Kie before averting her gaze back in front of her.

“You don’t have to act like you don’t see us, bitch.” Kie spoke, not yelling but loud enough for the couple to hear if they hadn’t sped past you all. 

“Did you see the way Topper was clinging onto her?” You snarled, the statement directed more at Kie than anyone else. “I’d take more pride in the boat than her, if I were him. She’s probably already onto the next guy and he has no idea.” You concluded, sipping on your ice cold beer.

“SWEET LORD, THE INTERNET!” Pope practically cheered as the group of you ran into the study room of the Kook hotel that you were pretty sure you’d just snuck into. He ran to the computer, pulling out the map from John B’s backpack and wasting no time entering them into some website he was using, Earth Search. Lord knows how he found it but it was Pope you were talking about.

“34°57’30” north. 75°55’42” west…” He muttered, fingers going a mile a minute across the keyboard. 

“The continental shelf?” John B queried over the boy’s shoulder. 

“That’s off the deep end…” You pointed out, leaning over Pope’s other shoulder. The website continued zooming in on the destination, footsteps and voices outside of the closed door had all of your hearts pounding as you waited.

“It’s on the high side. That’s only 900 feet.” John B added after it had expanded enough.

“Only?” You questioned, eyeing him with a look that said ‘are you crazy?’.

“C’mon, that’s do-able.” JJ spoke up from behind all three of you. You turned to him with the same expression, standing up slightly from your bent over position and planting a hand on your hip.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Aquaman. Do you plan on guiding us down there?” You retorted.

“Will we be taking your personal submarine?” Pope backed up.

“Ha ha.” The blonde shot back at you both, grimacing. “No, smartasses. The salvage yard has a drone that can drop one-thousand. Three-sixty camera and everything. It’s exactly what we need.”

“Aaand can your dad get his grimy little hands on that?” John B asked.

“My dad’s grimy little hands are what got his ass fired. But the drone’s in the impound yard in the back.” Sly, hopeful smirks were shared amongst you all before you shot up, gathering everything and rushing towards the door, Pope at the end of the line shaking his head.

“Can’t we do anything legal for money?”

“WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN?” You asked from the back of the van that had just arrived at the impound lot.

“Because, you’re two hot teenage girls that have the power to entice the middle-aged man at the front gate.” John B told you bluntly. You curled your lip at his statement.

“That wasn’t creepy or mildly perverted at all… Let me out.” You demanded, JJ sliding open the van door to let you as Kie hopped out of the passenger seat. 

The two of you walked the short distance to the truck you’d be driving around the corner to the impound lot, Kie swinging the keys around her finger.

“We got this?”

“Hell yeah.” You smiled, giving your best friend a low high-five and hopping into the vehicle, engine starting as she twisted the key.

It was less than two minutes before you pulled up the gate, spotting the man inside of the booth to the left. You both got out of the truck, waving your hands to gather the man’s attention.

“Hello?” Kie called. “Excuse me?” The man’s attention was diverted from whatever he was reading, your presence prompting him to get up and out of his seat, leaving the tiny building to approach the gate from the other side, a stoic expression on his face.

“Can I help you ladies?”

“Hi,” You flashed a bright smile, shoving your hands in the back pockets of your shorts. “We have a flat tire.” You pouted, not missing the way his eyes roamed your frame for the briefest of moments. “We were wondering if you could help us out?”

The security guard looked around for a moment, as if maybe this was something he wasn’t supposed to be doing before nodding. “Yeah.” A mischievous smirk spread across his face.

“Yeah?” You reiterated cutely as he retreated back into his booth to open the gate. You turned to Kiara with a knowing look on your face, a playful side eye.

“How do you do that?” She asked with a small chuckle. You simply shrugged. 

“It’s all in the eyes.” You taunted, watching as the man returned. Leading him to the back of the truck, Kiara gave the guys, who’d been hiding, the signal to go.

“It’s this back one. Must’ve been a leak or something.” You gathered the older man’s attention, attempting to keep it on the truck for as long as possible.

“Probably just been sitting in the yard too long?”

“Yeah…” Kie cutely replied. 

“I got this.” The guard replied, trying to seem all macho and manly. You watched as the three boys slipped their way into the gate. It was silent for a few moments as he worked on the tire and you and Kie tried to keep a non-suspicious look out.

Minutes passed before a dog’s bark was heard, loud and incessant. The security guard paused in his movements.

“You hear that?”

“Hear what?” You and Kiara said simultaneously, trying your best to act unbothered.

“Tebow’s got something…” He pondered aloud. 

“Y’know how dogs are,” You scoffed with an awkward smile, trying to dismiss his concern. “He’s probably... terrorizing a squirrel or somethin’.” You offered.

“...Yeah, yeah.” It seemed to be a good enough answer as the man got back to working on the car. Suddenly, Kie was discreetly leaving your side and going to the other side of the truck, you questioned what she was up to before you heard the low hiss of air leaving a tire.

The guard must’ve heard it, too, his movements ceasing again before looking up. “Hey, where’d your friend go?”

“She, uh, had to pee really quick.” You tried to dismiss his concern carelessly.

“...There’s no bathroom out here.” He spoke, standing up to his full height now, equipment in hand. 

“Y’know, how it is,” You chuckled nervously under your breath , shoulders square as you became visibly tense and tried to side-step and block his path. “When a girl’s gotta go…”

He didn’t say anything back, quickly walking past you in wide strides to the other side of the truck, catching Kiara releasing air from another tire. “What’re you doing?!” She stuttered to find words before the man was dropping the equipment and running into the impound lot.

Your hands gripped your hair. “Shit.” You cursed, scurrying to get back into the truck with Kie. There was nothing you could do to aid the boys now. You could only hope they had enough time to grab the gear and go as you and Kie sped off.

AFTER REUNITING WITH GUYS, who had successfully stolen the drone, Kie offered to feed everyone down at The Wreck. The sun had gone and it was nightfall, the diner lit up dimly by the time you’d all arrived in The Twinkie.

“What I would do with a beer and shrimp 'n grits right now…” JJ longed, hopping out of the door.

“Amen.” You agreed. “The crimes I would commit for a single fry right now are horrendous.” None of you anticipated how hungry stealing drones, flirting with creeps, and running from dogs would make you. 

Upon entering The Wreck, you were met with shadowy lights and a few leaving guests, the restaurant close to its closing time. The boys ventured off into the seating area while you and Kie stuck around to greet her father. 

“Hey, Mr. C.” You smiled, greeting the older man with a hug. 

“Heyy, kid. It’s been a while. It’s good to see you smilin’.” He greeted back enthusiastically, patting a fatherly hand on your shoulder. 

“Hey, dad.” The girl hugged her father. “How’d we do?”

The older man sighed, shaking his head and drawing his lips into a thin line. “Didn’t turn it over once.” You and Kie shared a look of pity for him, small frowns on each of your faces.

“It’s probably just bad luck because of the storm.” The brown-haired girl tried to reassure her father. 

“Yeah, I’ll be sure to tell the banks that.” He grimaced.

“Guess now is not the best time to ask for free food for me and my friends?” She attempted sheepishly, peering back at the three boys eyeing the food like shelter dogs. 

Her father’s demeanor did a complete one-eighty. “Look at them,” He started, eyeing the trio of boys with disgust. “They’re greedy pelicans. I told you to stop hanging out with them.” He told his daughter, eyes drifting to you. “The both of you...” He added.

You hated the way Mr. C spoke of the guys. They were your best friends and he, himself, used to live on The Cut. He talked about them like a purebred Kook, like someone who has never known poverty. Sometimes, you thought he held a grudge against you for bringing Kiara into your friend group with them. But you’ve known her just as long as them. 

“Everybody at the Kook academy hates us, Dad.” She protested, shifting her weight and rolling her eyes.

“‘Cause you never gave them a chance.”

“We did give them a chance.” She argued back for the both of you, knowing you weren’t likely to step in against her own father. “They got all stuck up on us. They care more about shoes and coke than anything else, I mean, what’re we supposed to do with that?”. All the man could do was sigh, Kiara looking back and JJ, John B, and Pope pitifully. “Those are our friends.”

“Look…I gotta throw it out anyway, might as well take it.” He caved. Bright smiles broke out on both of your faces, the two of you encasing the man in a bear hug before releasing him and turning back to the three boys who were patiently waiting.

“Sit down.” Kie said, the guys cheering and pulling out seats. It wasn’t long before Mr. C brought the food out — french fries, crab legs, soda, chips.

The guys ate like they’d never eaten before. Maybe they really were hungry pelicans.

The Wreck had closed by the time you guys started eating though, allowing you to play music on the eatery speakers while you ate.

At some point Kie, who’d been dancing by herself, invited John B to get up and dance with her, the brunette accepting the invite. However, one absentminded glance to your left had you watching Pope, who was watching them. He looked sad.

You never thought about that — Pope having a thing for Kie. You couldn’t really picture that in your head but you still felt bad.

In a group of three guys and two girls, someone is bound to catch feelings for someone. 

Breaking your gaze on Pope, you looked around to find JJ staring at you. You flashed him a smile and tossed a fry at him to which he caught in his mouth, you both bursting out with laughter.

THE FIVE OF YOU WASTED NO DAYLIGHT THE NEXT MORNING, testing out the gear the second the sun reached its peak. Kie and JB were under the water helping to test out the quality of the camera, both of their faces seen on the pixelated screen.

“God bless geeks, Pope. Truly.” JJ spoke over the boy's shoulder. You were sitting on the wooden railing, legs swinging and adorned in nothing but your bikini. “What would we do without you to control the drones?”

“Technically, it’s not a drone, it’s an ROV-”

“Shut up. Shut. Up. It’s too early for that right now.” You chuckled under your breath at JJ's dismissal, you wondered if JJ and Pope ever got tired of bickering. They were like brothers or an old married couple, either or. Just then, the pair in the water came up for air, John B shaking the water from his hair and being the first to speak.

“Hey, once we get footage of the wreck, we’ll bring it to a lawyer in town and file a formal claim.” He threw out. “We can go through your mom.” He directed the statement at you.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, even if they were squinted from the sun beaming in them. “I wouldn’t trust my mom to help us. It’s like she’s been in cahoots with Shoupe ever since we moved to Figure Eight and everyone knows he really works for Ward.”

“Why would we have to do all of that anyway?” JJ asked the boy in the water.

“There is a maritime salvage law.” Pope cut in. “You can’t just go to the ocean floor and scoop a bunch of stuff up.” You’d been examining the equipment while they talked amongst themselves. Noticing something before speaking up.

“The tether on the ROV is really long. In the wrong kind of weather, it could get pushed around.” You said, turning to face them. “We should go at dead calm. It’s our best option.” 

“And today is not that day.” Pope said, eyeing the sky that was turning a dangerous shade of gray in the distance, a storm brewing. 

“YOU THREE GET THESE GROCERIES TO FIGURE EIGHT. GET STRAIGHT BACK HERE WHEN YOU DONE.” Heyward told you, JJ, and Pope. “I promised delivery by this afternoon.”

He handed JJ the last of the groceries, the blonde piling them onto the platform in the middle of the boat before Pope got the engine going. Heyward’s boat moved faster than the HMS Pogue, you were on Figure Eight territory within minutes, the boys eyeing the properties and estates like puppies.

“It doesn’t even look like the storm hit here…” Pope said, astounded, staring down one of the bigger houses. He had a point, the house looked like the storm purposely moved out of its way.

“It’s ‘cause they got generators, bro.” JJ began, his disdain for Kooks peeking through in his tone. “And then they say the juice will be out all summer at The Cut.”

“It must be nice to be a Kook.”

“Lucky bastards.” JJ shook his head, you simply ignored them. They weren’t wrong and technically, you were now a Kook yourself so you had nothing to add.

Financially, you were a Kook. But you’d always be a pogue at heart. 

“Isn’t that your place?” Pope pointed out, speaking to you. Your house was coming into view up ahead.

JJ whistled at it — the exterior was polished, the yard was kept, the trees were trimmed, no weeds or overgrown plants obstructing the view of the home. Your house wasn’t as old as most on Figure Eight, it has only just been built when your mom bought it a few months back. You could even see Marley running a muck in the yard from the boat.

“Look at that beauty. Must be nice going home to that every night, huh?” JJ poked.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at the blonde. “You’d be surprised.”

YOU WERE ON YOUR LAST DELIVERY OF THE DAY,  the three of you had split up to get the last of the orders done quicker. You and JJ had completed yours but Pope had to go through the golfing trail behind the Country Club, so you’d figured he hadn’t finished yet and you both decided to go after him.

“You can’t seriously tell me that you don’t like living on this side of the island.” JJ kept nagging about how much life had changed for you. You wished he would drop it.

“It’s not Figure Eight that I hate, JJ. It’s the people. I don’t know them and they’re all assholes.” You started, walking alongside the blonde, watching the Country Club members golf. “I’d feel safer taking a walk on The Cut at night than I would here. Might get jumped by some coked up college kids.”

“Meh.” He started. “I wouldn’t let that happen. And if it did, y’know we’d find those guys and kill ‘em. Rocky Balboa style.” He joked, throwing air punches and making sounds that made you laugh. 

“What the hell?”

You heard someone exclaim in the distance, you and JJ sharing a look as your laughter died and you slowed in your steps. The voice sounded eerily like Pope.

“You owe me for that!”

The pair of you started sprinting, arriving just in time to catch Topper swing Pope to the ground after snatching the beers he was supposed to be delivering out of his hands. Pope was shoeless and his hat had come off, sand and blood littering his face.

“What the fuck?” You yelled, not even taking into account Rafe’s presence at the moment. 

“Hey, hey!” JJ shouted, running over to Topper and snatching him up by his collar. You didn’t know what was happening, all you know was that all of a sudden, Pope was charging at Rafe who was quick to whack him in the stomach with his golf club before hitting him over the back with it.

The sound of metal hitting his spine caused you to flinch. “Stay down, bitch!” Rafe screamed. You stood frozen in place, a fear you’ve never felt before. But you knew why. You were hoping, praying, pleading that he wouldn’t notice you were standing there. That he’d be too caught up in his own rage to see you.

Topper had managed to push JJ off of him in an effort to calm Rafe. You took the opportunity, with Rafe’s eyes on Topper, to try and aid your beaten friend. You kneeled next to him as JJ stood angrily off to the side, probably making sure Rafe wouldn’t try to pull anything else. 

“Pope…” You muttered, voice laced with concern as you examined his face — blood between his teeth and sand in his eyes.

Your hair was shielding your face slightly from Rafe’s view, you were sure. “Hey, no, don’t help him,” He started, raving and ranting. “I said don’t fucking help him!”

Breaking past Topper’s defense, the man stomped toward you before kicking you over, a grunt falling from your lips. With you now laying in the sand on your back, clutching your side in pain, he could see your face clearly with your hair splayed around you, no longer obstructing his view.

“Leave them alone!” JJ tried, but Rafe was quick to swing the club in his direction as Topper stood anxiously behind him, but his eyes were still on you. You hadn’t seen him in months, the same goes for him to you. All he did was chuckle, a laugh with no amusement behind it as he crouched down above you. 

Even while you were in pain, you managed to glare at him, a mean snarl on your lips as you tried to control your breathing but every intake of air hurt. “Where you been hidin’, sunshine?” He spoke softly but so menacingly. When his finger trailed across your bottom lip, you used whatever energy you had left to bite down on the digit. Hard. “Ah- fuck! You stupid bitch! I’ll-” He lifted the club up, preparing to slam it back down until Topper gripped his shoulder.

“They got it, man! Let’s just go.” He urged, Rafe eyeing your figure on the ground, breathing heavily like a bull. His eyes then scanned JJ and Pope before he spoke.

“We don’t want you over here, you got that?” He warned angrily, eyes landing on you once more. “Any of you.” That was all he wrote before Topper was pulling him away from the scene, the two boys disappearing. 

Your mind was racing a mile a minute, probably faster. You rolled over, ignoring the searing pain in your side as you pushed yourself up. You felt a hand on your arm , trying to help you but for some reason...it just made you angry.

“I got it.” You strained out.

“Let me help you-” JJ tried.

“I don't need your help, JJ!” Then his hand was reluctantly leaving your arm and offering it to Pope who brushed him off in a less aggressive manner as you stood to your full height, a slight limp as you began walking away.

The walk back to the boat was silent — suffocatingly so. Nobody said anything when you boarded, or when Pope got the engine running, or when you passed all the houses on Figure Eight. 

You didn’t expect JJ to sit next to you, especially after yelling at him. “Listen, I don’t know what happened out there, alright? And maybe you’ll tell me or maybe you won’t but I mean seriously, are you guys just gonna let them get away with that?” He scoffed angrily.

“What’re we supposed to do?” Pope shot back.

“I don’t know, something, man! Anything!”

“...Turn the boat around.” You spoke up from where you were sitting, an idea sparking in your rage-filled mind.

“AND WHY NOT RAFE’S BOAT?” JJ spoke up from your place across the water, eyeing down Topper’s brand-new boat.

“Because,” You started, stripping down to your bikini. “Rafe doesn’t have boats. They all belong to Ward. This? This is Topper’s personal possession. So, we go for him.”

The answer seemed satisfactory enough for the blonde as Pope also took off his shirt. “They hit us, we hit them.” He said before turning to you specifically. “I know you’re a swimmer-slash-diver and all but I don’t think you should be swimming in your...condition.” He warned, eyeing the large bruise blooming along your side.

“I’ll be fine.” Was the last thing you said before jumping into the water, Pope splashing in close behind you. You both swam your way over to the speed-boat, jumping onto it. It took seconds for Pope to release the seal that kept the boat from sinking, water bubbling into the base of the wakesetter as you threw your fist against the windshield, effectively cracking the glass.

The pair of you dove back into the water, making your way back to a bandana and sunglasses clad JJ who was waiting. Climbing back on to the boat, Pope handed JJ the plug to which he chucked farther into the ocean.

“You can’t tell anyone.” Pope spoke breathlessly, watering dripping down his frame.

“I won’t, dude-” JJ assured

“No, not anyone. Not Kie, not John B, nobody, got it?”

“Got it.”

NIGHT HAD FALLEN ONCE AGAIN. It was like it never ended as of recently. You were all back at The Chateau, the events of earlier still fresh on your mind and the ache in your side still throbbing to remind you.

“You really think it’s out there?” Pope asked JB. The boy simply shrugged in response.

“My father thought it was.” 

“...But do you?” Pope reiterated. The sound of crickets and cicadas filled the silence as you all waited for him to answer, thunder rumbling in the distance.

“After hearing his voice on that tape? I think I do.”

 “We’re gonna find it.” Kie reassured.

JJ yawned, stretching on the hammock you two were sharing with Kie as Pope and JB shared the other. You and JJ were squished on one end with her on the other. “I’m gonna dream about shipwrecks.” He spoke through his exhaustion, his arm somehow landing behind your neck and curling it towards him, effectively shoving your face into his neck. “And I’m taking this one with me.”

“JJ!” You muttered against his skin as they all laughed. "Let go of me, Maybank!" Your muffled voice came through as you struggled to push the blonde away.

“Shh, just let it happen.”

IT WAS THE NEXT MORNING AND YOU WERE STILL HALF-SLEEP BY THE TIME YOU’D BOARDED THE BOAT. John B wanted to get a head start on this whole ‘X marks the spot’ thing and you’d reached the spot where the Royal Merchant was allegedly sunk by noon. 

“Alright, ladies and gentleman,” The brunette spoke, far too chipper for how early it was. “To going full Kook!” He cheered as he and Kiara lowered the ROV into the water slowly. They fed the cord down inch by inch, monitoring everything and JJ steered the boat.

“Alright, JJ we’re right over it!” JB called out. “Ten seconds northwest!”

“Ten seconds northwest, got it.”

You were leaning against the side of the boat, watching the screen with Pope as you struggled to keep your eyes open. The morning breeze hit you every now and then, in nothing but your bathing suit and a large shirt, a lazy attempt to avoid questions about what happened to your side until you could come up with an excuse that your friends would believe.

When Kie was about 400 feet of rope deep, thunder rumbled in the sky, causing your eyes to examine the ocean. “The tide’s turning.” You warned tiredly, perking up slightly at the change of events. John B directed JJ to change the direction of the boat, over and over again until they got it right.

The storm was getting scarily close, so close you could see it building in the distance. It suddenly got strong, pushing the boat back by at least a couple of feet. It became a frantic fight against the storm, with Kiara warning John B that they may lose the ROV and John B instructing JJ on how to navigate the boat while you and Pope kept an eye on the visuals.

Kiara was at 950 feet and you and Pope still couldn’t see anything, even when JJ managed to steady the boat once again.

“Okay, we’re on the floor.” You announced, signaling to Kie that she could stop feeding the rope. 

“You should be seeing something-”

…

“You see anything?!” JJ called from behind the wheel, the four of you staring at the screen in disbelief and relief.

“It’s The Royal Merchant.” John B said as you all watched the ship come into view, clear as day.

next chapter >

feedback is appreciated! thanks for reading.

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[thatone-brightstar]

ohhhhh bestie The Bear & The Fox got me GOOD, more please!!!

The Bear & The Fox (Carmy Berzatto x Fem!Reader)

Chapter 2: Like a fox caught in the headlights

Words: 5.7k

Summary: After four weeks at The Beef, you've learnt some valuable lessons. Finding Carmy adorable is the most dangerous one.

a/n: Because I am nothing if not a people pleaser, here's the second chapter for that one person that asked lol Enjoooy xx

P.S. Reader is Latina in this, so there will be some spanish lessons.

After a full four weeks at The Beef, you had realized a couple of valuable lessons. Subs and sandwiches were not the same, and Richie had a very strong opinion about the “uncultured jackasses” that confused them, Tina was nicer than everyone gave her credit for (though it probably helped that both your mother and her had gone to the same high school together) and lastly; Carmy being a decent person would be more counter effective than you anticipated. Especially when you learned that your building was about four blocks away from his and that he drove Richie’s car, because the other had his license suspended for parking on a handicap spot while buying cigs.

It had been completely accidental and not at all your intention, but on your sixth day after closing and when your idiot brother had forgotten to pick you up, you naively thought it would be fine to walk thirty three minutes to get home. The L was not an option as the last time you had taken it, someone stole your access card and it would take at least a month to get a new one. So you and your uncomfortable platform sneakers were stuck for at least another half hour until you could make it home. Or so you thought.

Ten minutes after leaving The Beef, with your jacket zipped all the way up to avoid the harsh late March wind, you had fallen into a comfortable pace. You’d normally wear your headphones to tune out the city sounds, but it was almost 11pm and the fear of getting jumped was enough to keep you alerted of your surroundings. The last thing you needed right now was a shiv to the throat. However, for a Sunday night, the streets were livelier than you had expected. People congregated outside bars and the family owned pizzerias that remained open past midnight to feed the night owls, stoners and drunks. You admired the checkered table cloths they used and added the image to the folder in your mind under ‘shit to make the beef less sad’ as you made your way down the blocks.

As you reached the crosswalk and waited for your turn, a dusty black car slowed its pace then stopped fully beside you. You brazed yourself for the usual catcalls or hollering while you kept your head forward, though the sweaty hand around your strap gave another impression.

“Hey!” You heard from the car once the window was down and you did your best to hold your tongue and not tell the asshole to just fuck right off, but when you heard him call your name, this time you turned surprised.

Carmy sat staring up at you through the cracked window, right hand already pushing the passenger door open and waiting for you to get in. There was a slight frown on his brow as you stood motionless looking at him because he was the last person you expected to see and also holy fuck, did that blue jacket bring out the already magnificent color in his eyes. The sound of a horn blaring from behind you brought you back from the ridiculous turn your thoughts were taking and you cleared your throat climbing into the warm vehicle. He sat staring at your profile as you took your bag off and placed it between your feet on the car floor, then pushed your hair behind both ears to clear your face and smile towards him.

A small ‘Hey’ was thrown in his direction and the warmth in your skin subsided once his gaze was no longer resting on you.

“You weren’t planning on walking, were you?” He asked, concerned.

“Would it be so bad if I say yes?” You ask back a bit ashamed. “It’s not that far.” you try to justify, playing with your fingers.

He asked you where you lived and when you told him the location, the car stopped in its tracks almost comically, although it would have been if he hadn’t stared at you with such a bewildered expression.

“That’s like an hour by foot!” He scolded, putting the car back in motion and merging successfully into the main road.

“No, it's like.. thirty minutes at most!” You fought back. “Besides, it’s not like I do it daily, my fucking brother just forgot to pick me up tonight.”

“Your brother the carrot?” He asked, now smiling softly.

A breathy almost giggle left your mouth as you turned to him. “Yeah, the carrot.”

That’s when he told you that it was fine if you ever needed a ride back because he lived in the same area anyway. ‘You can ask for help, you know’ He said, ‘It’s better than putting yourself in danger’. And you could have just left it at that, your boss being a decent human being. But the warmth of the car, the lowness of his voice and the sweet humming of a folk song playing in the radio, had your head swimming with scenarios that grew too quickly for you to stop them, even though you knew you had to.

He dropped you at the door of your building with a ‘Goodnight.’ and ‘Sleep well’, and as you climbed every step towards the fifth floor, you were reminded of the unspoken rule you had with yourself: No in-work relationships. No dating coworkers. No messing around.

No matter how funny, how nice, how hot or how lost you could get in the pool in their eyes.

That’s how your routine came to be. At least until Richie got his license back, which you secretly hoped was not anytime soon. You’d finish closing up front, take your bag from the office and wait for Carmy out back until he was done scrubbing clean every surface of the stainless steel kitchen. Sometimes you’d wait inside too, disguising it behind wanting to  keep him company but in actuality you were just afraid someone would creep on you from the dark while alone outside. The car ride would consist of meaningless chatter on music, movies and on who won the prize to “Shitty customer of the day”, and on your way up home you’d repeat the same mantra for each step. As many times as it took for your beating heart to slow and for your skin to cool down before reaching your door.

***********

Carmy hated to admit it, even to himself, but it was evident from afar how accustomed he had become to your presence, enough that it affected him on your day off. It was ridiculous really, how off his game he was. Calling out wrong orders, oversalting the broth and even burning his hand with a metal handle he had forgotten over the fire. Tina snickered when she heard a ‘Fuck!’ behind her, followed by the clinging of metal falling to the ground.

“You good, Jeff?” She asked teasingly, looking over her shoulder at the chef running his hand under the faucet. “She’ll be back tomorrow, you know?”

He didn’t answer, he knew better than to do so because everything in that place could be used against him. She was right though, you’d be back tomorrow, you always were. On your first day off after being hired, he had spent the whole day doubting if you would be back the next, thinking about having to put the help wanted sign up again made his already unstable stomach worse. Then you showed up unexpectedly during the small break with a box of pastries you had made as a thank you for the team, each decorated with little edible flowers and colorful glossy coats. He had secretly snapped a picture of his, before biting into the heated crust, his stomach had welcomed the delicious warmth of food for the first time all day and the feeling followed him around during the rest of his shift.

On your third day off, you had brought your mother for dinner on a slow night. Your cheeks had gone up in flames when she let him know just how much you talked about the mouthwatering food served at The Beef and the wonderful people working there, before yelling something in spanish to Tina and leaving you both alone in comfortable silence.

“So you think our food’s delicious?” He asked with a teasing smile and bumping his shoulder against yours.  You stood side by side while watching the two older women catch up in the kitchen like a sort of family reunion. Carmy normally didn’t let strangers into his kitchen, he was protective like that, but strangely for you, he was glad to make an exception.

“Of course I do!” you said with an embarrassed laugh. “You’re a great cook, chef,” You said sincerely and his eyes shone brighter than ever under the fluorescent lights. “You’re just too busy noticing your own faults to see it.”

Your mother had called for you and a part of him was glad she did, because he did not know how he would have resisted leaning down into your soft lips after such a beautiful confession. They didn’t charge for dinner, and no matter who you tried to give the bill to, no one would take it. ‘Orders from the boss’ they’d say grinning, and when you turned to the office, you saw a messy head of golden hair hide behind the door frame.

Now on your fifth day off, he wondered if you’d show up. He allowed himself a bit of delusion as he ran his injured hand under the tap, and imagined you arriving in one of those flared high waisted jeans you liked to wear. He stared at his hand and thought of what it would feel like to caress your cheek with it, your soft skin against his calloused one, doe eyes staring lovingly up at his as he held you closely between his arms… Fuck, okay,no this is weird, he thought. He should not be thinking of you like this and if they had anything similar to an HR department, this would definitely be a violation of some sort. And that’s not even talking about the wild scenarios his mind would make up late at night when he couldn’t get any sleep.

Even though it was just in his mind and no one else could see inside his little fucked up brain, it was still wrong. Especially when he knew you couldn’t feel the same. You were just being nice, he’d remind himself. That’s who you were. And he was being a pervert and a terrible boss by assuming otherwise. He had to get his shit right and his priorities straight, saving the fucking Beef from ruin was the first. He had to leave his stupid lovesick scenarios for when he could finally give his tired body a rest.

He pulled himself out from the rubble of his thoughts, turned the water off and dried his hands on the white rag hanging from his surprisingly clean apron. Then he made his way back to the station and continued on dinner prep with the usual automated performance he had trained so hard to cultivate. This he knew, this was familiar and precise and gave no space for errors or misinterpretations. This was his. Him. No doubt, insecurity or fear of reciprocation. A vegetable was still a vegetable no matter how he felt towards it, and he still had to be your superior no matter how he felt towards you.

************

“I don’t know which one to get!” You hummed through the phone resting between your shoulder and cheek as your hands were busy comparing the very similar fabrics in front of you.

You hear Sydney groan exasperated through the line and you can clearly picture her rolling her eyes at you.

“Just pick whichever! It’s not like anyone will notice the difference anyway.” She answered, and you can hear a light buzz of noise from her side. 

“I’ll notice.” You mumbled back.

In your defense and to your well color-trained eye, they were very different. While the design was the same, checkered style pattern with white, they both had negative spaces of different shades of blue, one slightly darker than the other. You were leaning towards the softer baby blue, but it wasn’t the right shade. It was the third craft store you visited and none seemed to carry the specific type of blue you were in search for. It was a stretch because you were sure that shade’s only purpose was to exist between tired eyelids and golden lashes, but you were too stubborn and you had to at least try to find something similar. 

“I’m sure people will just be happy to not eat directly on the plastic tables. Bring the one you like best.” Syd said after a moment of silence.

“Ugh, I guess.” You finished, finally deciding on the baby blue material.

You walked around the art supply section and picked out the things you were there for originally, a few tubes of oil paints, paint sealant, a detailing brush and a new spatula were what you checked from your list. It wasn’t your intention to buy more than that, but the sight of the shiny fabric at the end of the aisle had you dialing Syd’s number and asking if she thought Carmy would mind if you bought things for the restaurant with your own  money. You were planning to anyway, but the reassurance was nice. ‘Anything that comes from you is okay with him’ she had said and a fuzzy feeling bloomed in your chest.

“We’re still on for drinks later, right?” She asked while you scanned everything through the self checkout.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna drop all this shit off today, go home and change and meet you outside after closing.” You mentally groaned at all the back and forth you’d have to do but it was better than carrying everything home then back to The Beef the next day. 

Also, you had secretly taken a liking to dropping by unexpectedly to “say hi”. You were never the kind of person to go to your place of work on your off day, you never understood those people because, why be there six days of the week then go back on your off when you could literally go anywhere else? But The Beef had felt more like a home than a job ever had for you. It was warm and inviting, and you understood why there were so many regulars who still bought their daily sandwich after so many years. It felt nice to work for a place that was more for the people than the prestige. It was a breath of fresh air in a world surrounded by how ridiculous you could make a dish and still have it be considered food.

“You sure it’s not just cause you wanna see a certain broody someone?” Syd asked teasingly, pulling you from your thoughts.

You stayed silent on the line and that was enough of a confirmation for Sydney to burst into laughter from the other side.

You spat a ‘Shut up.’ and hung up on her mid laugh, cheeks ablaze.

After leaving the store, you walked the fifteen minutes to The Beef with your headphones on and carrying your bag of supplies in blissful peace. You liked days like these, the sun shining softly through the clouds, the air fresh and crisp and your heart light in your chest. The beat of the music coordinated with your steps on the sidewalk as you made your way through the industrial looking streets, letting your mind roam to its recent favorite topic of wild messy hair and freckle dusted skin. Syd’s words were still fresh in your mind, but also was the rule you had been repeating to yourself more than usual. 

Each time he did something nice, you had to convince yourself that that’s just the way he was and to stop reading into something that wasn’t there. Every time you caught him looking was justified by him just spacing out and you being in the general direction of his gaze. The free dinner was him being kind, the rides home were him being decent and the sweet smiles as you crossed the kitchen towards the steward section were… Your doom, honestly. 

Every time you made your way across with empty plates, even if it was only for a brief second, he snuck a peek from his bowed position over the expo, then smiled loosely back down. The first time you had caught his stare, you had carelessly dropped the dishes on Angel and into the muddy water then rushed out the back door because the space around you had become insufferably hot. The image had replayed like a broken record all day, rewinding in the exact moment his ocean eyes bore into yours like waves crashing against a rocky coast. It was criminal. And you would take to your grave how the memory had fueled the fire in your lower belly on the nights when you couldn’t get any sleep. Just remembering brought back the familiar ache between your thighs and you quickened your steps to relieve the sensation. Fucking hell, had it really been that long? It probably had been because you couldn’t remember the last time you got laid, or even been kissed for that matter. No wonder  you were so wound up over a simple look. 

‘That's it’, you thought. ‘I’m just hormonal and it’s causing my stupid brain to confuse horniness with like. Nothing more’  So on the last block to The Beef you made up your mind: you were going to find a stranger to sleep with that night, then this whole Carmy situation would die down and you would see it with clear eyes for what it really was, Carmy just existing and you being a pervert for misinterpreting anything he did.

You took a deep breath as you pushed the glass door to find an empty restaurant and you assumed everyone was taking a well needed break in the back before the dinner rush. You pulled your headphones off and made your way into the familiar hallway that led from the front, past the walk in and into the office. Your plan was to drop the bag off and head right out, you'd see everyone after closing anyway, but just as you left everything by the foot of the crowded desk and turned to leave, a tall shadow standing by the door made you jump back startled.

“Jesus fuck, Carmy!” You yelled at him with a hand against your thumping chest. He stared at you with a contained smile and it was hard not to smile back. “Was that payback?!” You asked, still trying to control your breathing.

“For what?” He asked innocently and entered the small office space. In the reduced area, his broad shoulders looked bigger and the thumping in your ears was no longer from the fright. “What's that?” He asked, pointing to the bag you had discarded on the ground.

“Oh, um…” God, why are you so nervous? “It's just some stuff I got for the front. Tablecloths and napkins and… stuff.” You answered by playing with your hands. You didn’t want him to be upset even though Syd had assured you it would be fine.

He crouched down towards the bag and rummaged around inspecting the insides.

“I was planning on putting it on the tables in the dining area… I hope that’s okay?” You added after what felt like minutes of silence.

“No, that- that’s really nice of you. Thank you, chef.” He said, looking up at you.” You bought this with your own cash?”

“Yeah.. but it’s no problem, truly. I just really fuckin’ hate those Starbucks napkins.” You joked and he sniggered while straightening up.

He scanned you with amused brows and for the first time all day you felt self conscious of your choice in clothing, or lack of choice. 

You had been home all day working on a panting in the makeshift studio you had created in your living room. Your grandfather had helped you set up an easel and some drawers near the windows with the most natural lighting as a fun hobby at sixteen, and almost ten years later, the space had become a sort of sanctuary during stressing times or just when you needed to clear your head. Half the house was now covered with your creations, mostly paintings, but also a few sculptures from that time you tried to experiment with clay and almost blew up your mother’s oven. 

That morning, you had been working on a piece centered around a stormy sea and a boat adrift, headphones on and too far gone into your own head, when you realized you had squeezed out the last drop of teal paint from the little tube. You could have just mixed and matched until the shade was correct, but your back protested when you finally unhooked your left leg from under you and that was a loud enough sign that you needed to move from the uncomfortable wooden stool you had spent hours on. So without changing from the paint covered overalls, cliche sure but cute, you thought, you pulled your sneakers on then kissed your grandpa goodbye and closed the door behind you.

Now as you stood in front of Carmy, a baggy mess of dried colors, trying to rack your brain for an explanation, you noticed just how bad of an idea it had been. You felt like a kindergartener’s discarded art project, and fuck’s sake, the two space buns at the bottom of your neck were certainly not helping. You scratched the back of your head nervously, trying to avoid his teasing gaze, then rested your hand flat on the desk to turn fully towards him.

“I was painting, okay?” You mumbled and for a second you felt like a kid getting caught doing something bad. It also didn’t help that he was older than you and a dark part of your screwed up brain searched for his approval.

“I would hope so.” He answered between a breathy laugh.

It was an involuntary move from his part, down right impertinent. Something he would never do in a million years, especially to a woman while they stood alone in a closed space with less than a foot between their chests. But his hand was already half way up when he realized what his body was doing, his gaze too caught on the light strip of cyan paint above your brow to realize how your breath had gotten stuck in your throat and your pupils had swallowed your irises whole. His cold fingers feathered away the slight bangs that framed your face and as his skin made contact with yours for the very first time since you met, an electrified chill ran from the base of your neck, down through every nerve ending exposed to the air and causing bumps to rise along your skin. It was completely innocent, but the contrast in temperature, combined with the close proximity and the emotions you had tried to sweep under the rug, had your heart in a whirlpool dropping down to the depths of your stomach. The bubble of air in your throat didn’t know whether to go up or down, so you simply stayed still as he gently rubbed his forefinger against your temple. Your mouth felt dry and your eyebrows were screwed together in a mixture of angst and anticipation. You felt like a fox caught in the headlights, treading carefully around the hunter. 

Your eyes drooped mindlessly to his parted lips and the voice in the back of your head whispered how easy it would be to stand on your toes and close the small distance separating you. The hand resting on the desk had curled around the edge and you knew your knuckles had turned white from the force of your grip. It felt like time had stopped altogether, only your echoing heartbeat was the telltale of the seconds passed. You dragged your eyes slowly back up his features until they stuck to the warm icy blue and you could feel his thumb unconsciously rubbing slow circles.

‘It would be so easy.’ you both thought. 

His face was a whisper away, yet it felt like a dessert separated you from the only body of water you wanted to desperately bathe in. Just one swim wouldn’t hurt, right? No one would know it happened. A one and done situation. ‘Just to get you out my system.’ you thought. Or rather whispered.

“What?” Carmy mumbled confused.

Fuck. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You pulled back, blinking rapidly to control the panic beginning to bubble in your veins. Fuck! You tried to settle your eyes anywhere except on him while you struggled to decipher what the actual hell you were going to let happen. From your peripheral vision, you could tell he was also disoriented by the way he pulled his hand down his face, stopping to cup his mouth with strength as if not trusting what could come out of it.

“I-I” Your voice sounded foreign, barely above a whisper. “I’m gonna go…um-” You swallowed the bubble of air and wrapped your arms around yourself with your eyes trained on the ground, trying to pass by Carmy without touching, as if the simple contact could sting your already sensitive skin.

He reached his hand towards you and called your name. “No- shit, wait I-”

“Hi, mija!” You heard and both of you instantly turned to where Tina stood by the door to the walk in.

She made her way to you and you tried your best to swallow the batch of tick saliva that comes before the bile and smiled. You pulled her into a hug and kissed her left cheek out of tradition.

“Hey, just came to drop off some things.” You spoke as nonchalantly as one can when you’re on the verge of a breakdown.

“Good, then you can save me the trip and give your mom this.” She said while handing you a small roll of five dollar bills. “It’s for the tanda. Tell her my number’s up next week, eh?” She caressed your cheek softly then turned to Carmy with a doubtful look. “You look like you saw a ghost.”

“I’ll give it to her.” You interrupted and threw the money without care inside your tote bag, turned to Carmy one last time, then marched through the hallway and out the glass door.

You didn’t stop until you knew you were at a distance safe enough to crash. You leaned against the bricks of a nearby flower shop and closed your eyes because, even though you had never fainted before, this felt very much how people describe it could feel. Your whole head was on the edge of explosion along with your ribcage and throat. Your mouth was dry and wet at the same time, and the simple feeling of saliva on your tongue was enough to have you gagging with your forehead against the wall.

“Okay, get your shit together.” You whispered to yourself between heavy sniffles. 

Breathe. Hold. Release. Again. Breathe. Hold. Release. Again. With as much strength as you could manage, you pulled on the long sleeves of your shirt and wiped the trail of salty water beginning to slide past your cheeks. Breathe. The last thing you needed was to have a panic attack in the middle of the street, so even as your vision blurred at the edges and your chest heaved from the lack of air, you did your best to hail a cab. With the first strike of luck in the past ten minutes, a yellow car pulled by your side and you wasted no time in getting in. With little control left, you told him your address and as he drove in the direction of your house, the grimy restaurant street sign grew smaller in the rear view mirror and the single thread that kept your fumbling heart together finally tore. 

You arrived home in a numbed state, your body felt drained after going through so many emotions in a short period of time and you were glad everyone was out because how could you explain the absolute shitshow you had stupidly put yourself through the last hour? You dragged your feet across the wooden floor of the hallway that led into the living room, dropped your bag over the island in the kitchen and headed straight into your bedroom. As soon as the soft fabric of the covers wrapped around you like a protective cocoon, the dam in your chest broke open and a nasty sob left your lips.

God, how could you ruin this so catastrophically?! How were you going to show your face at work after this? You could just imagine Carmy telling everyone how you had come onto him in his office and a new wave of tears rushed to your eyes. The first job you actually liked in years and you ruin it by almost kissing your fucking boss! ‘What the hell is wrong with me?!’ 

‘In our defense, he came onto us first’, the voice in your head tried to rationalize. 

The intimate clip played back in your mind’s eye from a third’s perspective, like a movie scene you’ve watched a thousand times in the past half hour. ‘It can’t be completely my fault, right?’ You ask yourself, analyzing his expression through your memories. It had to mean something, you don’t just look at anyone like that.

“Fuck!” You yelled exasperated and rubbed the palm of your hands against your tired eyes.

You pulled your phone from your pocket and opened up Syd’s contact on the message app, ready to write an excuse as to why you needed to cancel. But as your fingers hovered over the keyboard, a part of your brain wondered if you really wanted to. It would make no use to brood in your own self pity for the rest of the day, and maybe the therapeutic process of getting ready to go out would help clear your head and let you see the situation in a better light. Also, you still had a plan to see through and after the day’s events, your skin had been left itching for contact, no matter where it came from.

So instead of canceling, you texted Sydney that you’d meet them at the bar instead, then spent the next ten minutes looking for a playlist that would inspire you for as long as your ritual would last.

**********

The hellscape of a day was finally over and Carmy had never been more grateful. After the last order had been served, he retreated into the office without a word to anyone and had been sitting staring at the same spot since. Thankfully no one knew what had him in such a distasteful mood and he was sure as hell that it was going to stay that way. They didn’t need to know how he had scared you away with his impulsive actions or that he was to blame if you stopped showing up without explanation. The team had barely started to respect him and knowing that he had borderline harassed everyone’s favorite waitress would have him catching a punch or two.

‘Just to get you out my system.’ 

Your voice repeated like an echo bouncing off the walls in his skull as he tried to make sense of the words, but no matter how many times he flipped them around and rearranged them, he still didn't know what they meant. Was he in your system? Was he really so dense, that he hadn’t noticed you felt something for him, or was he reading too much into an inexistent situation?

His fingers tingled at the memory of your soft warm skin against them, the way your eyebrows had knit together while you stared at him with the most wide eyes he had ever seen and how you had unconsciously parted your lips when your eyes flickered towards his. Fuck, he really was an idiot. You were probably the first woman he had looked at with such adoration and he had to go and screw it up with his lack of control and stupidness.

He layed back in his chair and ran his cold hands through his hair, eyes trained on the dimly lit ceiling above him. An exasperated breath left his chest and he closed his eyes, scanning his brain for a solution to what should be the least of his worries in an office surrounded by expired bills and accounts that made zero sense. ‘What’s one more thing to worry about, right?’ He breathed out a laugh.

He heard a knock from the slightly opened door and turned to see Marcus staring down at him.

“Yo, chef?”

“Yo” He answered back.

“We’re all done with housekeeping’. Some of us are gonna go grab drinks and we wanna know if you wanna hang.” He stayed silent for a second. “You kinda look like you had a shitty day.” He sniggered.

He could always trust Marcus to tell the truth.

Carmy suppressed a laugh and leaned into his desk, taking a pen in his hand and playing with it. “Nah, thanks chef. I’m gonna catch up on some stuff here. You have fun though.”

Marcus nodded slowly, looking around the desk until his eyes landed on the bag of fabric laying on the ground. “Bet.” He said then smiled slowly. “She’s gonna be there. Jus’ so y’know.” And with a pat on the doorframe, he signaled his exit.

He leaned against his chair again and stared at the space Marcus had stood in, contemplating his options. If he went, there was a high possibility you didn’t wanna see him. But this could also be his only chance to get things cleared out and maybe convince you to not quit because of his actions. Granted, a bar was not the place to talk and definitely not his scene, but if that’s what he had to do to convince you to stay then so be it. He took a couple calming breaths to ease his heart at the idea of possibly even telling you how he felt, if you were gonna leave, might as well take the info with you, right? It’s not rejection if you were already gonna split.

“Fuck it.” He threw the pen at the mess of papers and the old chair creaked as he stood forcefully, then pulled his jacket from the back along with his keys from their hook by the entrance and followed the rowdy chanting of his youngest employees walking in a line out the busted back door and into the night.

Chapter 3.

[hyunnieshannie]

SUPERBOARD

Chapter 3: N/S

Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader

Word Count: 5.7k

General Synopsis: S_Class started off as a street racing team, built between friends but as the adrenaline rush died down, racing wasn’t enough. N/S was formed. What started off with petty crimes, quickly spiraled into a string of organized crime. 

Warnings: Mentions of sex PALACE. Mentions of violence, weapons, drugs, growing weed,

Added: If you would like to tour the N/S House please click here: Bedrooms Personal Rooms Common Spaces

A/N: Holy shit this one took a lot out of us...

Disclaimer: This is a fanfiction, this does not represent the idols mentioned in any way.

please DO NOT rewrite, translate, or repost this fic. Thank you.

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You didn’t sleep that night, your brain was too busy pestering you about the idea of needing to choose between Limitless, and S_Class. Your mind twisted with Felix’s words of warning. How would choosing a crew be a lifetime commitment? Who was Domino? Why was ‘Jinnie’ offered up? In what way was ‘Jinnie’ offered to you? Why did Jake let you spend the entire time with the S_Class crew? Was he sick of you? Was his plan to pawn you off to them? What would he gain from letting you lean towards S_Class? What would he gain if you joined Limitless? The more you learned about each group the more you wondered if these were just racing teams, or if you’d actually been brought into some weird type of cult. 

Why could questions only be answered by the respective groups? What the fuck and why the fuck are they so secretive? What about the weapons? Fighting? And seriously who the fuck was Domino, and why did Phobia look so pained to even hear the name? What had Phobia done for them to bring something clearly painful to him up? 

All the questions you had, would either go unanswered or you could find out. IF you joined S_Class. Limitless showed no real interest in you. Felix was right, they had handed you off from the get go. Sure Oddinary and NoEasy were both clear ring leaders with power over both groups you couldn’t even begin to comprehend, but if what Felix said was true, if Limitless wanted you, they’d have fought them and made one of their own members show you around. 

You were exhausted. Tossing and turning all night, from everything. The more you thought on it, the more questions you had. You wanted to know what was going on with S_Class, you wanted to know why Phobia looked so distressed. You wanted to know why you even cared about his stupid fucking emotions, when he had treated you like nothing more than a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe, that he was trying desperately to get off him. 

As you walked through the halls of your university, you couldn’t help but almost want to avoid both Jake and Felix, and whoever the fuck Yeosang was. 

“No name!” a black haired boy dressed in a pair of baggy black pants, a white tee and an oversized leather jacket comes jogging up to you, waving at you. You recognize him from the race yesterday, he was glued to NoEasy. AH! Double Knot. 

“Uh…”

“Jeongin,” he says, and quickly notices the confusion on your face.

“Hi?” 

“Oh uh, sorry. You might know me as-”

“No, no I know who you are, I just didn’t expect you to be here.” You feel an arm drape over your shoulder from behind you and you turn quickly to see Felix smiling at you and the boy standing in front of you. 

“Nah, Innie here is just a baby, he’s still gotta attend classes you know Princess?” Felix teases in a sing-song tone. “Just because he’s dicking down one of the leaders, doesn’t mean she gives him a free pass on skipping classes,” 

“You’re just mad I landed on one of the sisters and you didn’t.” Jeongin puffs out his chest, obviously proud of the girl he gets to call his, a smug smile pursed on his lips.  

“Interesting way to describe my sister.” Oddinary huffs as she walks past, with Maniac in tow. 

“Shut it Kierra, you know it's true!” Felix laughs. 

“Remember your place Felix.” Maniac seethes at Felix. 

“Ooh big scary Minho, is threatening me in school! Common man, go back to quietly simping for your girl.” Felix teases, making kissy faces at Maniac, no, Minho. Dear god this is gonna get confusing.

“I'm not a simp?” Minho says and rolls his eyes at Felix’s childish antics. 

“You took an extra year to make sure she’d be safe. That's simping.” Jeongin adds.

“That's loyalty.” Oddindary, nope, Kierra says brushing Felix off your shoulder. “You pick a side yet No Name?” 

“That’s my job?” Felix huffs, as you see Jake running up to the group of people that circled around you.

“Jakey boy, here to find out the answer?” Felix teases, pushing and poking at Jake’s arms. 

“Partially that, partially to figure out where Seungmin is, dude was supposed to meet me like ten minutes ago.” 

They’re all watching you, waiting for some sort of answer. Earlier you had thought you came to the conclusion that you knew exactly where you’d land and pick neither group. But now, with them all in front of you. You were once again conflicted. Jake had come alone, once again. Meanwhile S_Class had presented themselves in front of you. Each waiting eagerly for your response. 

“I-” you look between Jake and the S_Class crew, eyes landing on Felix. “I think I’m a bit more comfortable with you guys…”

“You made the right choice No Name.” Kierra said, patting your head gently.

“I’ll tell Akira.” Jeongin said, fishing his phone out of his pocket.

“Today you ride with me, and Hyunnie.” Kierra says. “We have a lot of work to be done before you're brought into the crew fully, Hyunnie will be your guide for that part. While Akira and I find you a spot, you good to leave your car here overnight or?” 

“I don’t have one-” you say a little shyly and the people surrounding you all gasp. It does seem a little silly to join a racing team and not have a car…

“I can work with this.” Kierra nods slowly. “Surely I got something around. Maybe Bin can whip something together for you. Can you at least drive?” You nod your head. “Wonderful, meet me at the back end of the school at one. Don’t worry about whatever classes you have.” 

~𝄋~

You look at the clock displayed on your phone, the time read twelve fifty-eight. You were early. Something inside you told you, you didn’t want to push Kierra’s buttons when you’d be riding with her. You look up and see Phobia walking towards you. God he’s even more beautiful in the day time, the sun kissing his tan skin making it look like he’s fucking glowing. 

“No name,” he says coldly as he stands next to you. 

“Phobia.” you say shyly to greet him back.

“Call me Hyunjin here. It’s fine.” You’re playing with your fingers again, super uncomfortable with his cold disposition. “I see you dropped the Limitless losers.” 

“Felix made a compelling argument last night.” 

“With his dick?” You turn to him quickly and look at him in shock. What the fuck did he think you were? Did he think it was that you were that easy?

“Absolutely not?!” 

“He didn’t fuck you? Progress buddy, fucking progress!” Hyunjin laughs, but there was still a bit of seriousness to his praise to his friend. 

“So, where's Kierra?” you ask, shaking off the weird vibes that surrounded you both from his previous questioning.

“Getting her ‘child’ she should be here in a second. You’ll hear that monster of a practice car in a moment.” He emphasizes the word child on purpose. You just rolled your eyes at his comment and chose to ignore it. 

You hear the car before you see it. Kierra pulls up in a red Subaru wrx, her speakers blaring music as she smiles out the window at you and Hyunjin. You both wordlessly get in the car. You didn’t really ask where you were going, as the rules stated, “any information deemed worthy will be given”. Here we fuckin go I guess. 

~𝄋~

The drive was fairly long, for someone who was speeding down the highway at speeds that would kill you on impact if you were to somehow crash. Music blaring through the speakers, the bass reverberating through the car. Sending wave after wave of sound, physically through your chest. No one spoke the entirety of the way. Even with her speeding, the ride was roughly two hours long. By the time anyone said anything, you were headed into a forested area. You had no clue where you were. Your surroundings all looked the same. There was barely anything around, the only things that surrounded the lone road were tall trees and deep dark woods. There was no one else on the road. No cars for miles. The car stops, and both Oddinary Kierra, and Phobia Hyunjin turn to face you. 

“This is your last chance to back out. Before I give you any information I need you to think very carefully,” Kierra looks at you seriously through the rearview mirror. “This is a lifetime commitment, this is much more than just a racing crew. You can back out now, all you want; but if you choose to continue in, there's no backing out.” 

“Not if you value your life that is…” Hyunjin whispers, 

“My- what? My life?” 

“Think about it, no name. Think about it deeply.” They both turn to look at you seriously. Kierra’s seriousness was a little unnerving. 

What have you gotten yourself into? There was no information to make this decision, when you had originally made it you thought this would simply just be some team. A sports team of sorts. Now they’re saying your life would depend on your decision? Somehow this isn’t what's holding you back from wanting to continue on with them. Life has been pretty boring, stressful, and lately just not worth.. Continuing. Every move, every new school, every friend group made and lost, your family who cared about no one other than themselves. All of it added up, into what you were before moving to Seoul, to what you knew you would become the second you could escape them. “Can I have one question?” 

“You just asked one.” Hyunjin quips back at you. His tone is serious. He obviously doesn't trust you at all or like you very much. 

“Shoot.” Kierra rolls her eyes at Hyunjin, slapping his shoulder. 

“I have a shit family-” you start, “They move me around often. They don’t think of anyone but themselves. If this is a lifetime commitment, what happens if they decide to pick up and leave again?” Hyunjin looks at Kierra, he tightens his brows together and shakes his head slightly as if to say ‘no’. Kierra just looks back with a slight pout to her lips and nods affirmatively.

“Now let me answer that with a question,” Kierra asks. “Do you want to leave? If you had the option to stay, ignoring the money, and where you’d live. Would you? If you had a-” she pauses, picking her words carefully, “if you had a makeshift family, who would support you, financially, mentally, physically. Would you stay?” 

“I would.”

“Then you wouldn’t be moving.” Kierra says matter-of-factly. “If you choose to continue, you’d have all of that and more.” 

You think over her words. What have you really got to lose if you continue? The family who doesn't care about you? Kierra is offering you that family. They’re offering you so much more than you could get at home. “Then I’ll go on.” Kierra nods, as she slowly pulls the car forwards onto a gravel path. The forest thickens around you, until you reach a large clearing with a modern mansion in front of you. The house is massive from the outside, windows surrounding the front of the house, a large staircase leading to the front door, with an entrance to a garage right next to it. The house looks like it goes on forever. Kierra pulls in slowly to the driveway, from the outside; you don’t see how the driveway leading into the garage actually slopes downwards. She continues in slowly, the fluorescent lights all turning on as the motion from the car triggers their sensors. As the dark garage brightens you notice you’ve entered what looks like to be a garage the size of one that you’d typically find in apartment complexes. Who the fuck has a garage this big? You see the line of cars all parked in designated spots labeled with each person's name carefully written into a metal plate placed on the wall. 

Kierra pulls into the spot that is marked with her name. Each of you getting out of the car. 

“Hyunnie,” Kierra calls,

“Ki.” Hyunjin turns back to her.

“Be a doll?” 

“Yes ma’am.” Hyunjin says and he turns to you and says “I’ll be back,” before he heads out of the garage. 

“So, no name. What’s your name?” Kierra asks as she leads you towards the stairs. You walk past another garage, much smaller, but had a shit ton of equipment in it, music blasting throughout the room. She walks with you up the stairs and into a huge living room with black couches and windows that reach the tall ceilings. You both continue to walk into the living room and you can see the kitchen a bit further away. 

“Y/N.” you say as you look around the place in absolute awe. 

“Well, Y/N. Welcome to N/S base.” She motions her hand towards the couch, wordlessly telling you to sit on the black clothed couch. “This is where we work, plan, play, and live. Everything is done here.” Kierra says fondly as she looks around the room. You notice a large table behind her couch, with enough seating for 18 people. You see a staircase that leads to a loft above the living room. The house was all greyscale, blacks, grays, whites, and wood tones decorated most of the house that you have seen so far. Kierra turns to you a little more seriously. “This is our safe space, where we can do what we want when we want. Without the world telling us we’re wrong.” 

“This is our haven.” NoEasy says as she walks up with Hyunjin in tow. “And now yours as well.”

“Mine?” you ask confused, looking between the two girls and Hyunjin. 

Kierra hums and nods her head, “Jinnie will show you around while Akira and I work out the specifics. You’ll meet with Hanji later. I find it’s best to learn on the job.” Kierra smiles smugly as she winks at her sister. Hyunjin stiffens next to NoEasy Akira. 

“Ki-” Hyunjin stops Kierra before she continues. “Ki, are you sure sending her out with Ji is a good idea?” Kierra looks at him and gives him a look. 

“For now. You need to understand what you’ve been brought into.” Akira cuts him off before he says anything else. You are fully confused now. “I’m sure Hyune has mentioned, not to ask questions. Well now is your time to defy him, ask away.” You have just been given a gift. Any question you want. What the fuck do you ask first?? 

“I thought your team name was S_Class. What is N/S?” You ask carefully. 

“S_Class is our team name.” Hyunjin answers quickly. “N/S is the organization that owns S_Class. Next Question.” 

You're starting to piece things together - large house, many cars, code names, ‘Without the world telling us we’re wrong’, secrecy, your life depending on your decisions. Ahh, you got it. “What sort of business owns an illegal street racing team?” 

“An illegal business?” Hyunjin says snarkily, folding his arms across his chest.

“Jinnie,” Kierra scolds..

“Ki, babe seriously what kind of question is that? Did you really expect me not to say something back?” Hyunjin whines. You see Minho jump over the back of the couch and pull Kierra into his side. 

“Watch your tone, Hyunjin.” Minho threatens. 

“Yeah, whatever. Next question.” Hyunjin waves him off, looking back at you to continue. 

“If N/S is the organization that owns you all-” 

“Let me stop you there, N/S owns the team love.” Minho stops you before you have the chance to finish your sentence. “The ones who own us all, are sitting in front of you.” He points his finger between Kierra and Akira. A look of shock crosses your face. How in the fuck do these two women own all of these dudes? Were they slaves? Sex Slaves? Why are you here?

“So you’re a gang.” You say carefully. 

“Bingo baby,” Minho snaps his fingers and leans back to Kierra, gripping her thigh between his hand. 

“I see,” you nod in understanding. “So, why am I here?” 

“Jinnie.” Kierra calls. “Be a doll?” 

“Yes ma’am.” Hyunjin says and leaves the room again. You notice that whenever Kierra calls him ‘doll’ he goes off without a single word further of what he has to do. Like it's ingrained in him somehow. But without missing a beat, Akira continues for her sister. 

“To put it simply, we recently lost a member.” Akira says calmly. “Replacing a member takes time. Now I didn’t expect 7PM to just go and drop a replacement in our lap like that, but all is fair on S_Class territory. They lost their chance, not that you’d fare well with them anyways.” 

“That brat The8 would’ve eaten her alive,” Minho seethes through his teeth.

“My love?” Kierra says in a sing-song voice. 

“Yes, kitten?” Minho responds back immediately.

“Why don’t you go play with Innie, I’m sure he has a broken down new toy, waiting to be fixed. I heard it runs quite fast.” Kierra says and looks to her sister. Minho smirks at her and kisses her temple before getting up and leaving the room. 

“I love those kinds of toys,” Minho chuckles, rubbing his hands together. You look at him in confusion. What the fuck are they talking about. 

“Make sure Innie doesn’t go too hard after it, please? I’d like to actually see it today.” Akira chimes in before he can leave. 

“And Minho?” Kierra calls out, Minho turning around to look at her. “We don’t want a parrot.” Minho nods, the smile on his face is devious, scary. He looks excited to play with this toy. Minho leaves the room and the girls turn back to you. 

“So before I send you off with Hyune, we’re gonna have to get some rules straight okay?” Akira says and waits for your undivided attention. “Rule number one, everyone has a job. Respect it. Unless asked to help, stay out of their way.” You nod and her sister continues. 

“Rule number two. Nothing that happens within this group ever, EVER, leaves the group.” Kierra says, nodding to herself. 

“Rule three, ALWAYS make sure to present yourself as irreplaceable. Everyone is replaceable, make sure we don’t ever want to cut you lose.” Akira rattles off. You notice that the two of them are bouncing back and forth throughout this whole ordeal, as if it is well rehearsed, something that is shared between the two of them, two equals. 

“Rule four, do not EVER speak of past members, they’re gone for a reason. Hopefully, you’ll never have to witness someone leaving.” Kierra says the last part a little sadly. You take a mental note to ask about that next time you have permission to ask questions. 

“Rule five,” Hyunjin returns to the living room between Akira’s words. “Do not EVER, mention the name N/S or 7PM to ANYONE outside the organizations.” Kierra looks at Hyunjin and nods to him. 

Hyunjin walks up to you and motions his head for you to follow him, “lets go No Name.” He leads you to the top of the grand staircase, up to the top floor. “Kierra and Akira designed this house to have everything we need.” Once you reach the top of the staircase, Hyunjin motions his hand down the hallway for you to continue further. “This is the top floor. Kierra and Akira live up here. To the right, is Kierra’s room.” He opens the door to a black bedroom, bed facing the windows with a black bedspread, black pillows and black blanket draped across it. The walls are painted gray with black accent pieces, minimal lighting. The large windows have sheer gray curtains hanging in front of them. You’re led further into her room and enter her bathroom, her closet attached at the end. The bathroom is a stark contrast to the bedroom. The walls, floor, and countertops are covered in a bright white tile, the same gray curtains hanging around the windows in front of the white bathtub (which could definitely fit 3 people easily). At the end of the bathroom was her closet, which matched the bedroom. Black walls, black cabinets and smaller wardrobes lined the whole room. You took note that there were mens and womens clothing in her closet. Did Minho share the room with her? “She’s got what she needs here, closet, bathroom, whatever. Never come up here if you’re not called to. You will most likely never need to come into her room, but you might be called up in general because across the hallway is her office. Kierra handles- The” Hyunjin pauses as he leads you out of her room and across the hall to her office. “Physical plans.” He opens the door and you’re brought into a very plain looking office. Wood fixtures decorated the room, a lone desk sat at the end of the room. 

“To the Left is Akira. Her room, she's got everything she needs, closet, bathroom. You get it.” He leads you into Akira’s room which you notice is the complete opposite of her sisters. Her bed is decorated with a white bedspread, white pillows, and a gray blanket. Her walls are lined with mirrors to brighten the room when the light hits it. Her bathroom was the opposite of Kierra’s as well, black and gray tiling lined the room and dark wood cabinetry finished it off. Her closet, also at the end of her bathroom, was again opposite of Kierras. White tiling on the floor, white shelving, and bright light fixtures. You also noticed that there were mens clothing in Akira’s closet too. “Across the hall, is her office. Akira handles more of the logistics.” He leads you out of Akira’s room and across the hall to a large office, black flooring, black walls, black furniture, a large black desk with computer monitors and paperwork filed neatly across it. There was plenty of seating in her office as well. You assume this is where they hold some of their important meetings.

“So, the brains and the brawn?” You ask carefully.

“They’re both the brain and the brawn, but they know how to play to their strengths. Plus, not like Ki will ever let Akira get into a fight without her. Nor will Akira let Ki go into a business deal without her. Together or nothing. Is this their favorite saying.” He says proudly. You take note that he calls Kierra by Ki when he drops his bad boy facade in front of you. What’s up with them? You wonder. 

“Next floor.” He announces as he leads you to the next level down. “Three bedrooms down here, Chan, Jisung, and Changbin.” He walks all the way down the hallway and to the right. “Chan’s room.” He opens the door to a pretty minimalist looking room. The walls are lined with a glossy gray tile, soft lighting scattered throughout the room, a bed centered on the back wall. His bathroom was lined with a darker gray tile, with the same warm lighting, as was his closet. The closet was decorated with dark wood cabinetry and glass doors. Hyunjin leads you out of Chan’s room and across the hall. “Changbin.” You’re starting to recognize a theme. All the rooms in the house that you’ve seen are either black, gray, or white. There was no in between. This room was no different. The walls were lined with half white marble tile at the bottom and accented wood paneling at the top half. The bed is situated adjacent to the windows, his bathroom a mix of gray and white tiling, and his closet a warm charcoal. Hyunjin leads you out of this room and further back towards the stairs to another room. He leads you into the gray room, the bed fixed in the middle of the room, his bathroom a mix of black, white and marble tile, and his closet lined with dark black cabinetry. He takes you from Jisung’s room and across the hall. “Jisung, and this is a personal room. It belongs to Chan. Do not go in unless invited.” He quickly opens the door and you can see what looks like a recording studio. You can’t see much inside before Hyunjin closes the door in your face quickly. 

“A lot of rooms huh-” 

“Eighteen full rooms, eleven bathrooms, six common spaces, and a greenhouse. In the backyard, passing the pool.” Hyunjin says incredibly casually. As if it was completely normal to have a house of this size. Even though, now that you’re thinking about it, the house didn’t look that big on the outside. Maybe 3 floors tops. Where are the rest of the rooms he’s talking about? He’s leading you back downstairs to the living room where you left the two girls. They’re no longer there. “Ground floor.” Hyunjin says as he continues walking through the living room and past the kitchen towards a hallway with 4 doors. “This section has two rooms, two personal rooms. On the left is Seungmin.” His room has to have the most personality you’ve seen, the walls covered in half gray bricking and half bookcase. His bed is situated against the windows. His bathroom and closet are a bland gray. “And next to his room is his personal room.” He leads you next door to a room decked out in computers, random equipment that you wouldn't even be able to name if you tried. “Across from him, Felix.” You take back what you thought before. This room has more color and personality than Seungmin’s. His room was painted gray, but was decorated in red lighting, lining the ceiling. And a large mirror sat behind his bed. His bathroom and closet were also decorated with the same red lighting in contrast to the gray walls and floors. “Trust me when I say, you don’t even want to walk into Felix’s personal room, especially if you’re invited into it.” 

“Why-” you ask confusedly as Hyunjin escorts you to the room next to Felix’s. He rolls his eyes and flings the door open. 

“O-oh, oh my god.” The best way for you to describe this room was a sex dungeon. Fixtures that you have never seen before were placed throughout the room, bright red lighting, similar to what was in his bedroom, lined the entire room. 

“Now you know what you’re in for, if you’re ever invited in there” Hyunjin laughs watching your shocked expression. He trudges along, back past the living room and kitchen again and down another hallway. “My room.” His room was probably the coziest one you saw today. His walls a warm cream, a wood accent wall decorated behind his bed, and a fireplace? His bathroom was a mix of black and wood features, and his closet stark gray and black. He leads you across the hall to another door. “And my personal space. If you ever come in here without permission, I’ll kill you.” Hyunjin quickly opens the door to his space, a brightly lit room, canvases, paints, and sketches pinned to the walls. An explosion of color from the rest of the house. Two of the walls of his room are lined with windows, looking out to the pool and the greenhouse. You looked around the room in awe. How could someone so cold have the brightest, most colorful room in the whole house? He quickly ushers you out of his studio and across the hall again, stopping at the door, his hand on the handle. “Lastly, this will be-” he can’t seem to come to the right words, pausing his movements. “It will be your room.” Hyunjin says, basically wincing as he says the words. “Go at it. Walk in, familiarize yourself with it.” 

You walk into the room to a pretty bland room. Two walls covered in a white tile, one covered in black tile, and the last wall a line of windows. The bed is plain cream and white. “It’s uh-” You walk further into the room, the bathroom has nice white marble flooring white gold accents throughout, the walls a gray tile with white accents throughout. You walk into the closet last. The room is completely white, with gold accents on the drawers, bright lighting lining the cabinetry, and a squishy carpet draped across the floor.

“You can decorate it how you want.” Hyunjin shifts from foot to foot as you walk through the closet. “But please- try to-” 

“Jinnie built that closet, custom.” Kierra sighs from the doorway. “So please take care of this entire room, or he will never forgive you for it.” 

“Oh- okay,” You say slightly confused as to why Hyunjin is being so weird about this room in particular. “Umm, so about this being my room…” 

“You can start to move in whenever, bring whatever you want from home.” Kierra says to you, elbowing Hyunjin to snap out of his weird fog.

“How will I even explain this to my parents?” 

“Leave that to Aki, and I.” Kierra continues to poke and prod at Hyunjin who is trying his best to ignore her and whisper to her ‘not now i'm working’. Seriously, what the hell is up with their weird dynamic? 

“Anyhow, I need to run to meet with Min, so I’ll be back by the time you’re set to head off with Hanji,” Kierra starts to head toward the door before turning around quickly. “And Jinnie?” 

“Yes ma’am?”

“Do me a favor?” He nods to affirm to her he’s listening. “Lighten up sweetheart, stress doesn’t suit you my love.” Kierra smiles wide and leaves the room. Did she just call him ‘my love’??? Isn’t she dating Minho??? 

“Ignore her,” Hyunjin rolls his eyes. “You can explore your personal room after, you still need to see the rest of the house.” 

“The rest? There’s literally no way anything else can fit itself in here.” Hyunjin smirks at you and leads you towards the stairs you came up from the garage earlier. “Oh,” he turns to the left towards the kitchen, between the kitchen and the staircase is yet another door. “This is the library, could also be considered our designated quiet room. It’s soundproof. Nice place.”  You peak your head in through the door and see every wall lined with bookcases, every space of the shelving filled with books. You can see a small seating area that is down a small set of stairs inside the library. He leads you back to the stairs and leads you down towards the garage, stopping at the door you saw earlier. 

“Changbins personal room, this is the one room you’ll find yourself in more often than most.” The room was covered in tools, tires, basically anything that had to do with fixing up cars. There wasn’t anyone in there anymore. He leads you out of the room and down the steps. You’re back in the garage. He walks across the garage to another set of doors. “These two rooms both belong to Minho and Jeongin.” He opens the door to a dance studio, wood flooring, and wall covered in mirrors. “Though, I admit I come here too sometimes.” He walks to the next room. “Unfortunately I can’t let you actually walk in here, but this is their other room.” He opens the door and the walls are lined with guns, a huge wood table centered in the room with black office chairs surrounding it. WHO THE FUCK OWNS THIS MANY GUNS? “Down the hall you’ll find two doors. To the left, you go upstairs exiting near the green house. To the right, you'll find another basement.” You walk down the other set of stairs. This house was a maze, how in the fuck were you supposed to remember where everything was. You entered a huge training room with a boxing ring at the center. 

“Training room. Behind those glass doors is the gym. Gym is for personal time, training area is for group activities, or if you’re training with someone else. As long as you’re never alone.” You head back up the stairs and out to the backyard. “That is Jisungs personal space.” He points to a huge glass greenhouse covered in vines. 

“He’s a florist?” 

“Of sorts.” Hyunjin laughs, and you both walk in and are immediately hit with the scent of weed. 

“I see,” you say as you shake your head. Hyunjin chuckles and walks you back inside to the living room. 

“And that’s that. Any questions?” 

“How-” 

“Rich kid perks I guess,” Hyunjin shrugs. 

“How do two people so well off end up becoming gang leaders?” You mumble. “If I had that life I’d-” 

“Best not to ask questions about their past. Or anyone’s past here. We’re all here for a reason Little Star, try not to act like you shine brighter than the rest of us.” You can tell that he’s basically saying ‘youre no better than us.’ “Last thing kid,” he sighs. “There's one other rule you need to know, it will be your golden rule.” You nod your head, waiting on his words. “Everything goes through Kierra and Akira. Every, single, little, thing. Need a bathroom break? Make sure they approve. You want to even breathe in their presence? Make sure they fucking approve. Don’t even blink if they don’t say you can.” 

“W-what- Surely it’s not that extreme…” 

“One thing those two value more than loyalty, is organization, and no one. I repeat, no one is better at it than them. Therefore everything must go through them. Tell me you understand this- please Y/N…” He’s never said please to you before. It’s almost a little concerning how desperate he is for you to understand his “golden rule”, but he looks pretty stressed about making sure you fully understand it. You nod your head and you can see him relax his shoulders slightly. Why is this stressing him out so much?

Tags @chanlixiiee @channiesbub @jaebaebaegot7 @maeleelee @iadorethemskz @maenijw @hangin-out-with-the-street-rats @elizalabs3 @jinniespuppy @painstakingly-juno @lethallyprotected @multeciahucho @@jisungsbff01

[m-jelly]

The gangster and his little bunny - first meeting

@kenkopanda-art made this perfect banner

Pairing: Mafia!Levi x Reader

Word: 5.7K

Genre and tags: Romance, fluff, modern AU, mafia AU, Mafia Levi, smut, oral (male and female receiving), praising, dom Levi, dirty talk, gentle to rough to gentle, aftercare.

Concept: First chapter of my new Ao3 story. You meet Levi for the first time you are not scared of him like most. You slap him and stand your ground. Levi insists you join him in the VIP area of his club. You both talk and connect on a personal level and feel like you've known each other for years. You suggest going back to his, you have a cup of tea, then end up in bed with the most dangerous man in the city. The next morning, he showers you in love and spoils you.

Part 2 here

The thudding of the base became louder the closer you walked to the club. You gazed at the sign in neon lights before looking at your two friends who’d dragged you along. The air was cool against your body, so you were desperate to get inside and warm up. You wanted to drink, dance and then go home to sleep. You craved a nice weekend and week at home. You had the time off work, so you craved to be in bed.

Sadie gasped. “Holy shit!” She jumped up and down as she pointed. “Look who’s arrived.”

You dragged your gaze from her and looked at a car pulling up. The driver ran around to the back passenger seat and opened it. A black smart trouser covered leg appeared with a clean smart shoe with an almost impossible shine to it.

You held your breath as a leather-gloved hand gripped the door frame. A man emerged from the car, not too tall or short. His raven hair was soft looking with a wonderful undercut. He adjusted his tight black waistcoat and tie before looking over at you and your friends. The tattoos on his neck stood proudly on his skin and was the only ink you could see for now.

You held his gaze and felt a flutter in your chest at his steel-blue eyes. You stood your ground and didn’t cave in. You swore you could have seen a tiny smile and a blush on his cheeks. You smiled a little back and watched him enter the club.

Sadie stared at you. “Fuck me he was eyeing you so much.”

You shrugged. “Dunno why. I’m not much to look at. He was probably staring at Kat.”

Kat smiled at you. “He probably was looking at me.”

Sadie frowned as her friend walked into the club. “Bullshit.” She looked over at you. “He was eye fucking you.”

You walked inside with your friend. “Thanks, but I know very well Kat is hotter than me.”

“You gotta have more confidence in yourself.”

You hugged Sadie against you. “I am confident in my drinking abilities and not Kat’s.”

She giggled a little. “You are pretty good at the whole drinking thing.”

You hummed and saw Kat was already making her rounds with guys and trying to get into VIP to see the raven-haired man. “Who is that man?”

Sadie leaned on the bar. “You don’t know?”

“Of course I know, I just asked you for shits and giggles.”

She laughed hard. “Sorry, sorry.” She ordered two cocktails before talking again to you. “That man is Levi Ackerman. He is a massive kingpin in gangs around here. He owns a lot of the clubs and bars, as well as in the next city over.”

You hummed as you stared at Levi. You watched him act like he was desperately searching for someone but trying to hide it. You felt a tingle in your body when he locked eyes with you and stopped his search. You titled your head a little as he studied you in your clubbing dress.

You turned around and leaned on the bar. “I ain’t scared of him.”

Sadie choked on her drink. “You’re not!? But he’s killed people. He beats people.”

You lifted your drink. “Why should I be scared of a man who breaks bad people?”

“You make a point there.”

“Excuse me?” You both turned to face a blonde with some facial hair, he seemed a bit young. He smiled a little. “Name’s Jean and I work for Mr Ackerman. He would like it if you would join him in the VIP section.”

You hummed. “Nah.”

Jean went white. “No? B-b-but Mr Ackerman said.”

You smiled at the young man. “I’m not some cheap floozy he can screw easily. Find someone else.”

He held his hands up. “Please, you have to understand that Mr Ackerman does not do these types of things. I’ve never known him to ask for a woman’s company before and I’ve worked for him for many years. This is insane to me that he’s asking. Look, he’ll pay for your drinks and he’ll get you a ride after. Please.”

You stared at the scared kid. “I’ll go.” You walked over to the VIP section with Jean and Sadie running after you. You pushed past Kat trying to get in and up to Levi. “Levi?”

Levi looked over at you. “You made it.”

You slapped him hard across the face making the area around him go quiet. “Shame on you for terrifying this kid here working his ass off. Plus, who the hell do you think you are? I’m not afraid of you. You are a stuck up egotistic man.”

Levi rubbed his jaw and saw how scared everyone around you was, but you were different. You had this cute determined look in your eyes. You were puffing your cheeks out a little. He hummed as he took you in. “Bunny.”

You blushed. “Wh-what?”

He reached over and lightly touched your cheek. “You remind me of a cute little bunny. Sweet and yet you have a mean kick.” He pulled his gaze from you and looked at Jean. “I’m sorry Jean. It was not my intention to scare you. I value you as a member of my group.”

Jean blushed. “Thank you, sir.”

He sighed. “I’ll do better.”

“There’s no need. You’re a great boss.” He pointed. “I’ll give you both some space. Miss? Come with me.”

Sadie kissed your cheek. “Sorry, but free drinks.”

You sighed. “Can’t blame her.”

Levi put his hands in his pockets. “Can we at least get to know each other a bit more before you slap me again?”

You nibbled your lip as you juggled with your choice. If you stepped back, you’d be missing out on things but you’d be safe. If you stepped forwards you’d be entering a whole new world, but putting yourself in danger.

You shrugged. “Fuck it. Why not?”

Levi stepped out of the way. “Order any drink you want, it’s on me.”

You hummed. “I will.” You went up to the VIP bar and ordered an expensive cocktail that you’d always wanted to try. “Thank you.”

Levi leaned on the bar and ordered his drink. “You are something else, you know that?”

You sat on the stool and smiled. “What? You never been slapped before by a woman?”

He smiled a little. “No one has ever dared to hit me. It was very new.”

“Want me to slap you again?”

He held his hand up. “Please don’t, you have a mean slap and if I lent you slap me again it’ll make me look weak and I’d rather not sk…never mind.”

You downed your drink and frowned. “Not as good as I thought it’d be.”

“Just because something is expensive, doesn’t mean it’s good.” He waved the barman over. “I know just the drink for you to try. Do you like chocolate and mint?”

“Yeah.”

He smiled. “Grasshopper for me and the bunny.” He looked over at you and sighed. “What’s your name, little bunny?”

You smiled and introduced yourself. You shook Levi’s hand. “Lovely to meet you.”

“You too.” He sighed. “What is it you do?”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Rather not tell you.”

“Why’s that?”

You smiled. “Well, you might pretend to be my friend and like me because of my job. So, I’d rather not tell. I get it a lot.”

He nodded. “Alright, I guess that makes sense seeing as who I am.”

You took your drink and hummed. “Well…” You talked and talked with Levi about who you are and what you liked. You found that Levi and you had a lot in common, even if he was a dangerous leader of the mafia. You smiled and tapped your glass. “These are amazing.”

He smiled and tapped the counter. “Two more, barman.” He sighed a little. “We should have a little tea tasting session together.”

You smirked as you pushed your boobs out a little. “You trying to get me alone?”

“Is my plan working?”

You ran your hand up his thigh and hummed a laugh. “It is.”

He looked down at your hand and felt nervous, but excited to feel your touch more. He reached over and rubbed your cheek softly. He eyed your lips and felt his heart flutter. “It’s so strange.”

“What is?”

He ran his thumb over your bottom lip. “How I feel about you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. You make my heart race, but I feel safe.”

You giggled. “I think you have a crush on me.”

“A crush? How do I know for sure?”

You stood up and walked up to him. You stood between his legs and cupped his face and lifted his head. “You kiss me and if you feel like everything around you fades away, then it’s a crush. If you kiss me and it just seems like a boring kiss, then it’s nothing. Finally, if you kiss me and all you think about is sex, then it’s lust. Either way, we still get to kiss.”

He looked up at you and hummed. “Let’s try.”

You pushed your fingers into Levi’s soft hair and pulled his head back. You leaned down and pressed your lips against Levi’s soft plump ones. You sighed through your nose as you felt your body relax. You’d kissed a lot of frogs in the past, but this was like kissing a god. You felt yourself melting at the contact. You nipped his lip and little and moaned in delight when he pushed his tongue into your mouth.

Levi felt the world around him disappear and it was just you and him in that moment. He slipped his hands over your waist and squeezed you. He smiled when your tongue moved with his. He felt like he could kiss you for the rest of his life. He lifted you up and helped you to straddle him on the stool. His heart raced with excitement, but he was also calm. He felt at home with you.

You pulled from Levi’s lips and smiled. “So?”

He moaned your name. “I know that this is not just lust or curiosity. I have that crush you spoke about.”

You kissed Levi again and hummed in delight. “I have it too. You’re just…I don’t know…something feels right between you and me.”

He smiled. “Yeah, I agree.”

You hummed and popped a button on his shirt to see his chest more. “How about we try some tea?”

“They don’t have any here, it’s a club.”

You laughed. “I meant at your place.”

He blushed. “Oh!” He cleared his throat. “I get it. S-sure.” He stood up and put his hand on your lower back as he walked. “So, umm…I don’t normally do this.”

You smiled. “I don’t either. So, it’s a first for us both.”

He stopped outside with you by his car. “You sure you want to go home with me?”

You opened the car door and got in. “Oow, comfy seats.”

Levi sat inside with you and closed the door. “You can say no at any point.”

You placed your hand on the inside of his thigh. “I know, so can you.”

He pushed his fingers into your hair and hummed. “I don’t want to stop.” He pulled you closer and kissed you. “You taste delicious.”

You smiled against his lips. “It’s the cocktails.”

He shook his head. “No, no it’s you.”

You giggle as you turned your head from Levi making him nibble and lick your neck. “I’ve never had someone talk so sweet to me before.”

Levi pulled back from your neck. “What? That doesn’t make sense. How is that possible? You’re wonderful.”

“You only just met me tonight.”

“And I feel like I’ve known you longer.”

You moved closer as if you were going to kiss him. “Same.” You pulled away just before he could kiss you making him pout. “Your car’s stopped.” You got out of Levi’s car and looked up at the apartment block. “Wow.”

Levi got out and talked to his driver before joining you. “I own the whole place.”

“Impressive.”

He led you inside and waved to the doorman. “We’re going to the top floor.” He let go of you and pressed for the top floor. “You okay with heights?”

You leaned against the lift wall. “I’d be better if you hold me.”

Levi walked up to you and slid his hands over your waist. “Bunny.”

You giggled. “You’re like the big old bear, huh?”

He kissed you and moaned as you pushed your tongue into his mouth. He pressed his body against yours and took your breath away. He kissed along your jawline to your neck. He nipped down and sucked. He ran his tongue up his fresh mark and moaned. He nipped your earlobe. “I’m a hungry bear.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck. “Yes.”

He walked backwards with you out of the lift. “One moment.”

You stumbled and bumped into his back as he swiped his keycard. You hugged him from behind and placed your hands on his pecs. “Oh wow, you’re muscular.”

“Thank you.”

You kissed his neck tattoo of wings. “Do you have more tattoos?”

“I do.” He opened his door and pulled you inside. “I’ll make the tea.”

You slipped your heels off and put them with his shoes. You placed your bag on the side and looked around the massive apartment. “Holy shit! This place is amazing.”

The apartment was huge and all open plan. You could see his bedroom area and his large bed. His bathroom was hidden behind frosted glass. Everything was clean and modern. You smiled at the little Roomba roaming around and cleaning the place. It was the perfect apartment, but a little lonely. Most walls were glass, so you could see the city. He had a balcony with a heated pool and a small garden area.

Levi walked up to you as you stood by the balcony doors. He offered you a tea. “What do you think?”

You hummed. “It’s lovely.” You sipped the tea and hummed. “Damn, you were right. You have amazing tea.”

“Thank you.”

You pressed your lips together and eyed the window. “You ever fucked anyone against this glass?”

Levi choked on his tea and started coughing after. “I umm. No.”

“Do you wanna?”

He stared at you. “Well, I don’t fuck.”

You frowned at his comment. “You don’t fuck?”

He shook his head. “No. I take my time. I devour my lover first to make sure she’s ready to have me. When I enter her, I’m slow, but after that, I’m hard and rough so I can make sure I can get as deep as possible. When she’s a pleasure-filled mess, I take it slow again and make love to her like she’s the only woman in the world.”

You gulped hard. “That sounds really good.”

He took your cup from you. “Want to try?”

You smiled. “Only if you’re a man of your word and can give it.”

He put the cups down before taking your hand and pulling you against him. “I’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted.”

You held his tie and hummed. “I don’t want much.”

He lifted you up and carried you to his bed. “Are you sure? I can get you anything.”

You hummed a laugh. “We are from two different worlds. All I can think about is pizza.”

He put you on your feet at the end of the bed. “I can do that.”

You pushed him down to sit on the edge of his bed. “I’m going to take my dress off, the reason is, this is the point where most get disappointed.”

“You’re beautiful.”

You pulled the zip down at the back as you felt nervous. “Wait for it.” You pushed your dress off and stepped out of it. You hugged yourself as you stood in front of Levi in your underwear. “See what I mean? I’m not pretty.”

Levi blushed hard. “Holy shit.” He covered his mouth with his hand. “You’re…incredible.”

You smiled. “Really?”

“Yes.”

You held his tie and pulled it off him. You smile and knelt down in front of him. “Can I?” You undid his belt as you nibbled your lip. “You know…” You looked up at him through your lashes. “Only if you want?”

He gripped the bed and groaned. “I umm…I tried it before and didn’t really enjoy it, but I’m happy to try again if you’re offering.”

You smiled and unzipped his trousers. “Let me know when you want me to stop.”

“S-Sure.”

You pulled him out of his boxers and gasped at his size. “Impressive. I don’t know if I can take all of you, sorry.”

He massaged his fingers into your hair. “Don’t be sorry. You’re wonderful.”

You moved your hand up and down on him. “Thank you.”

You tucked your hair behind your ear and ran your tongue slowly up the underside of his cock. You kissed the tip and smiled at seeing precum. He licked it up and hummed a little. You sank your mouth down and took only his tip into your mouth. You moved your hand up and down the shaft as you moved your tongue around the underside of the tip. You moaned against his cock sending a vibration through Levi.

Levi gripped the bed tightly as he moaned at your actions. He looked down at you as his brows knitted together. He didn’t care much for this in the past, but you were fantastic. Your mouth was so hot, your tongue soft and the scent coming from you was sweet. He gulped hard as you lowered your head further down onto him. He grunted and tried his best to control his body. He flinched a little when you sucked hard and moved your tongue on him.

He cupped the side of your face and pulled you away. “Stop.”

You looked up at him and nibbled your lip. “Did I do something wrong?”

He panted as his cock twitched. “No, no you were amazing.”

“Oh…”

He pulled you up and kissed you. “I don’t want to cum in your mouth.” He massaged your breast and moaned. “I want to cum deep inside you.”

You blushed. “I want that too.”

Levi lifted you up as he lay back on the bed. “Your turn.”

You squeaked and fell onto the bed with your legs on either side of Levi’s head. “Levi?”

He tugged your underwear to the side. “Be a good bunny and sit.”

You nibbled your lip a little. “Won’t I be too heavy?”

He shook his head. “No.” He pulled his knife out of his pocket and cut your underwear off. “Perfect.”

You gasped. “Hey!”

“I’ll buy you more.”

You sat on his chest. “You’re a funny thing.”

He pouted. “Don’t take my dinner away.”

You laughed. “You’re cute.” You knelt up and sighed. “Alright, let’s try this.”

Levi spread your thighs and pulled you down on his mouth. He dragged his tongue slowly from your pussy to your clit and parted your slit. He moaned as you coated his tongue. He smiled as you shivered above him. He flicked his tongue against your clit and hummed in delight. He gripped your thighs tightly and began massaging them as he traced patterns on you to find out which ones made you moan the best.

He took your clit into his mouth and sucked hard as his tongue moved against you. You whimpered and whined as a tingle of pleasure started inside you. You placed your hands on Levi’s and leaned your head back. You closed your eyes and panted as you enjoyed the tongue of the most dangerous man in the city. You lowered down on him more and just let him devour you. You lost yourself in the pleasure.

You rocked your hips a little against Levi’s mouth. You blushed when you felt him smile against you. You gripped his hands tighter. Your legs started shaking as your coil tightened up. You hummed and mewled as you felt on the cusp of your orgasm. You shifted a little on Levi and felt him suck hard. You cried out as you felt a pop and a blissful heat surge through you. You shook above Levi before moving back and sitting on his chest.

You panted and hummed. “Fuck.”

Levi licked his lips and smiled. “That was delicious.”

You slipped off him and lay on your side on the bed. “Wow.”

Levi looked over at you and smiled. “You’re so beautiful.”

You giggled at him. “Thank you.”

He got up and stood at the end of the bed. “Get comfy, bunny.”

You moved up the bed and sat there watching Levi. You closed your legs as you watched him take his waistcoat off. “You look good in a waistcoat.”

“Thank you.” He pulled his smart shirt off and finally his trousers and tight boxers. “Told you I had more tattoos.”

You gasped at his pecs and both arms being covered in them. “They’re beautiful. Do you have any on your back?”

“Yes.”

You looked at his thigh thighs to see he had tattoos there as well. “They look really good on you.” You noticed a line of hair down to his privates that you knew as the treasure trail. You nipped your lip. “Are you going to join me?”

He nodded and crawled up the bed. He kissed you as he sighed through his nose. He pulled back and opened his bedside drawer and grabbed a condom. He pulled it slowly over his hard cock and sighed. “Are you ready?”

You lay back and wiggled a little down the bed. “Ready.”

He ran the tip of his cock up and down your slit. He moaned as you coated his tip in a beautiful shine. He held your hip and pressed into you a little bit. He looked up at your face to see you wince a little. “Sorry.”

You shook your head. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

He pressed in and out of you making you moan. “That’s it, good bunny. Relax.”

You moved your hand down and parted yourself for him. “Levi, please.”

Levi blushed as he gazed at you openly welcoming him into you. He pressed himself in slowly and felt only a little resistance. He moaned as you squeezed his cock over and over. He pushed in all the way so his pelvis pressed nicely against yours. He panted and hummed. “Shit, you feel so good.”

You placed your hand on your pelvis. “I feel so full.”

“Bad?”

You shook your head and smiled. “Good. Really good.”

He leaned on his forearms on either side of your head. He kissed you and moaned. He pulled his hips back before pushing in again and making you let out a little quick moan. He kept kissing you as he moved his hips slowly so your body would get used to him, and he could find your g-spot. He angled his hips a few times until you moaned in a different pitch. He smiled into the kiss and moved his hips a little faster so his cock rubbed your g-spot over and over again.

You wrapped your arms around Levi and tangled your fingers in his hair. You moaned into the kiss as you felt nothing but pleasure throbbing through you from Levi’s actions. You hummed when he lowered his pelvis against yours and started rubbing against your clit. You tugged on Levi’s hair as your body burned with desire. You felt a tingle throughout your body. You felt like you and Levi were the only people in the world. You’d never felt this incredible before.

Levi gripped the bedsheet when you squeezed his cock with your pussy walls. He grunted a little and kept moving. He pulled from your lips and panted. “You going to cum?”

You nodded and whined. “Y-Yes.”

“Good girl.” He moved rougher. “Cum for me, bunny. Let go.”

“Levi.”

“Squeeze my cock. Cum around me.”

You arched your back and came hard. Your walls massaged his cock over and over as fireworks popped in your body. Your legs shook a little as you felt the warmth of your orgasm take over your body. “Fuck! Levi.”

He smiled as he grinded his hard dick into you. “Good bunny. Shit, you feel incredible.”

You relaxed against the bed. “Wow.” You giggled. “You’re amazing.”

“Thank you.”

You nibbled your lip. “I want to try a different position, is that okay?”

He nodded and pulled his dick from your pussy and saw the shine on his cock. He shifted back and watched you. “What would you like?”

You turned around and moved pillows around. You raised your bum and hips up as you pressed down your face against the pillows. “Like this.”

Levi admired the arch in your back and how cute your bum was. He ran his hands over your soft skin, then playfully slapped you on the bum making you buck. He smiled a little. “Good bunny.” He slapped your bum again and watched you clench up. “You like that?”

You blushed and nodded. “Y-Yes.”

He slapped your bum again, then rubbed and soothed the skin. “Such a good bunny.”

You whimpered at him. “Bear.”

He ran his cock up and down your slit before pressing in a little. He slammed his cock roughly into you making you scream against the pillows. He gripped your hips hard and started slamming his cock into you. He panted and moaned as his hips slapped against your soft bum. He moaned in delight as your pussy massaged his cock in pure ecstasy. He wished he could be kissing you, but you looked so incredible under him like this as you moaned and writhed in pure euphoria.

Levi reached over and grabbed his headboard. He panted then started bucking into you roughly. He moaned as the tip of his cock lightly kissed your cervix. He gazed down at you as you kept your head to the side and started drooling in pure heavenly pleasure. He knew your bum would be sore after all the slapping, but you were enjoying it and so was Levi. He gripped the headboard tighter making it groan as your walls massaged his cock.

You pulled at the pillows and whimpered. “L-Levi.”

“Good bunny.” He grunted. “Such a good bunny.”

You whined as your body felt like it was going to break. “Y-yes.”

“You’re so good for me.”

You tugged at the pillows. “S-So good. Y-Your cock.”

Levi moved one hand to your clit and started moving his fingers on you. “You going to cum for me?”

You nodded. “Y-Yes.”

“Sh-shit. That’s it.” He panted and hummed as you squeezed him. “You’re doing so good.” He kissed your back. “You’re incredible and wonderful.”

You came hard and cried out against the pillow. Your body convulsed under Levi as pleasure ripped through your body. You whimpered and moaned before collapsing against the bed and pulling Levi’s cock out of you. You panted and shivered. “Levi.” You looked up at him. “My big bear.”

Levi turned you onto your back and wrapped his arms around you as he rested his full weight against you. “I went a bit too hard.” He kissed you. “Forgive me. I only want to protect you and pleasure you.”

You smiled at him as you shifted your weak legs. “It was perfect. I asked for it.”

Levi slipped his cock back into your making you let out a cute little moan. He smiled at you as he played with your hair. “You’re so cute.”

You giggled. “You’re sweet.”

He kissed you as he rolled his hips against you causing his cock to rub your g-spot and his body against your clit. “You’re so wonderful and amazing.” He gave you a pleading look. “I’m so glad you came to my club.”

You whimpered as your pleasure built up. “Le-Levi.”

He panted as he felt his need to cum building. “I adore you. You’re perfection.” He kissed your neck and nibbled. “You’re my dream lover.” He moaned your name. “I want to keep you. I want you as mine forever. My bunny.”

You smiled and felt weightless. You knew Levi was asking you for a lot as his cock was sliding in and out of your pussy. You gripped his back and hair and knew that you wanted to hold onto this man just as much as he wanted to hold onto you. “Yes.”

Levi moved his hips a little faster. “Fuck.”

You rolled your hips against Levi’s as you grinded your way to your orgasm. You gasped as Levi bit your neck hard and sucked. He kissed around to the other side of your neck and bit again. You bucked against Levi as he sucked the other side of your neck. You knew after this you were going to be covered in love bites and you were going to wear them with pride. You knew Levi was dangerous, but you would love to be with him. You and he shared so much in common that it felt like you’d known each other for years.

You cupped the side of Levi’s face and made him look at you. You both panted together and smiled. You kissed him and moaned in bliss. You moved your hips a little faster against him. You gripped Levi tighter and cried into the kiss as you felt the pop and rush of pleasure burn through your veins. You lifted your hips and rocked with Levi as you made your pleasure last.

Levi grunted and groaned as you clenched him over and over again. Levi bucked into you hard and fast, then slammed in deep as he came hard. He moaned into the kiss as his whole body shivered. He pulled back from your lips and panted. “Fuck.”

You smiled at Levi. “That was…incredible.”

Levi smiled at you and hummed a laugh. “It was. You were…” He laughed as he blushed hard. “Shit.” He hugged you and hid his face. “I want to keep you so badly.”

You rubbed Levi’s back. “If it makes you happy, I’m not leaving tonight.”

He pulled back. “Promise?”

You nodded. “Yes, plus I don’t think it’s possible. My legs are done for.”

Levi slid his cock out of you and kissed you. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay.”

He kissed you before running to the bathroom. He cleaned himself up and returned to you to see you’d passed out into a deep sleep. He smiled softly at how beautiful you looked. He changed into PJ bottoms first, then he changed you. He took your bra off and moved your floppy body as he pulled a shirt of his on you. He moved you into the bed and pulled the covers up. He crawled in next to you and fell asleep for the first time in a long time.

You woke up in the middle of the night with the urge to pee. You looked up to see Levi holding you as he slept. You kissed his cheek before slipping out of his arms and stumbling to the bathroom. When you returned to Levi, you debated about leaving or staying. You sat on the bed and gazed at Levi as he slept peacefully.

Levi whined in his sleep and mumbled your name. “Bunny…”

You felt your heart skip a beat and knew you needed to stay. You crawled into bed and held onto Levi. You closed your eyes and thought about your situation. This was the first time you’d ever gone home with a man and slept with him. You weren’t the type to do this sort of thing, but you were so drawn to this man.

Levi awoke to the morning sun shining through the windows. He hummed and looked down to see you using his chest as a pillow. He kissed the top of your head and shifted you off his body. He went into his bathroom and ran you a nice relaxing bath to start your day. Once the bath was full, he started making you breakfast and went all out by baking a selecting of treats and cooking some savoury things too.

You opened your eyes and pouted at seeing the bed empty. You sat up and inhaled the delicious smells. “Bear?”

Levi ran over to you in just his PJ bottoms and an apron. “Bunny!”

You smiled at him as you took him in and ruffled your messy bed hair. “Morning.”

He walked over and sat on the bed. “Morning.” He held your chin and kissed you. “I’ve run you a bath and I’ve made you breakfast.”

“Thank you. That’s so sweet of you.”

He kissed you and smiled. “I want to take care of you.”

You smiled and nibbled your lip. “I have a week off work.”

“You do?”

You nodded. “We can spend that time spending it together, having dates and repeating what we did last night.”

He blushed a little. “I would love that.”

You got out of bed and walked to the bath. You pulled your shirt off and slipped into the warm water with a sigh. “So good.”

Levi dragged a stool closer and sat behind you. He grabbed a sponge and softly cleaned your skin. “I’ve called one of my people to get you some clothes, seeing as I cut your underwear off.”

You giggled as Levi started washing your hair. “You did, didn’t you?”

Levi pulled your head back and kissed your forehead. “I’m thinking today I just spoil you and look after you here at home.”

You blushed a little. “Can I spoil you?”

“You can, just stay with me all day and the week you’re off work.”

You smirked at him. “Deal, but I will find a way to spoil you because you have treated me so well.” You turned around in the bath. “Anything you want, I’ll give it to you.” You frowned. “Actually, that’s a bit hard when you kind of have everything.”

He kissed you and sighed. “I don’t have you, yet.”

You blushed. “That was smooth.” You leaned your cheek on your hand. “I’ll think of something.”

“I can’t wait.”

[jessikahathaway]

Baby Talk - Part V

Holy moly here it is! After a long wait, finally the fifth installment of baby talk!

Guys this chapter kicked my butt, however, I'm so glad that I can share it with you now.

Thanks to @knjsnoona for the beautiful banner. And thank you to my lovely beta Ryn @queenofthedamnit for motivating me. I love you both!

So please enjoy!

Pairing: Jikook X Reader (Jimin X Reader X Jungkook)

Genre: Surrogacy!AU, Polyamorous!AU, Romance. (Future Smut)

Warnings: Profanity, threatening a pregnant woman, injuries, jikook being dedicated boyfriends, mentions of aborting a dangerous pregnancy (I KnOW it's a spoiler but it's hard for some people) (If I forgot any please let me know).

Words: 5.7K (She's short but emotional).

The car ride was tense.

Yoongi went with Jungkook and Jimin went with Namjoon.

They were bringing a squad of 45 people, armed and ready to hunt the hunters.

Yoongi was driving while Jungkook looked out the window. He was belted up with kevlar to ensure his safety, but looking at him he just looked like the young, scared man he was.

“You really love her huh?” Yoongi said.

“Yes, Jimin and I both do,” Jungkook answered without looking towards the older male.

“How?”

It was quiet for a moment before Jungkook spoke.

“She’s very selfless, but doesn’t know when to stand up for herself sometimes. She’s sweet, and caring in a way that isn’t outright. She’s really observant. I-I know it sounds silly but she meshes with Jimin and I so well that it’s almost scary. The idea of losing her now, I-I can’t even think that way,” Jungkook choked.

Yoongi nodded. “Love works in mysterious ways, and you should never question it. Just accept it. I know it’s not widely accepted, monogamy seems to be all the rage, but, go with your heart kid. If you all consent, you’re adults you can handle yourselves.”

Jungkook swallowed hard and nodded.

“If they hurt her or our children, I don’t know what I’ll do,” Jungkook whispered.

“We don’t know any specifics, just be patient and level headed. That’ll be the best mindset for you now. Don’t be too emotionally charged,” Yoongi suggested.

Jungkook took a shaky inhale before nodding at his friend.

“I hope you’re right.”

--

You woke up in restraints.

Your eyes were scanning the area, desperate for any way out.

Jungkook and Jimin’s voices over the phone. It made tears well in your eyes. What if you didn’t see them again? What if you and your babies were doomed?

No.

No.

You wouldn’t think like that.

They said they would come for you.

And when they did, you would tell them. Tell them how much you really care for them. And these children inside of you. With them is where you wanted to be. Forever.

A door behind you opened and darkness fell over your vision.

“Now, Miss Y/N, the clock is ticking. Tell us what we want to know and we’ll let you go.”

“I told you, I don’t know them. And if I did, you wouldn’t get them out of me,” you growled.

“Boss, they’re already bringing money. What else do we need from her?”

“Orders from the higher ups, doesn’t concern you,” one said flippantly. “Just do as you’re told.”

“Alright, time to go Miss Y/N,” a deep male voice spoke from behind you. You felt the restrains on your legs loosen.

Suddenly, tires squealing made you turn your head.

“Shit! Go go!” Someone yelled.

“No! Grab her first!”

Kicking your head back you fell hard on your shoulder, but you were fine otherwise. It would probably bruise, but getting away was far more important. Your hands were still tied behind your back but there wasn’t anything holding you to the chair anymore.

Scrambling to your feet, you wanted to defend yourself, but you couldn’t see anything.

“Lock her in! Don’t let them find her!”

“Just shoot her!”

“No! She’s still valuable, don’t!”

The random hollering didn’t help you find the exit, but you moved until you found the wall.

“Oh no you don’t!”

Someone grabbed you and pulled you to the side, holding your restrained hands in theirs.

“OPEN FIRE!” Someone screamed.

“Wait!” you cried.

Bullets pelted the building you were in. Breaking glass and even some getting through the walls.

“Pretty! Y/N!”

Jungkook’s voice was outside.

“Hold your fire!” A deep voice called from outside as well. It was similar to the one speaking on the phone.

“Take one more step and we will shoot her!”

“I fucking dare you to lay hands on her,” Jimin’s voice snarled.

“Here’s your money you filthy pigs,” Jungkook huffed.

“Give us Y/N,” Jimin said, voice dark and threatening.

“Bring her out,” a man yelled.

Suddenly, you were moving.

“Wait-hold on there’s no-”

“DUCK!”

“NO! Y/N MOVE!”

A huge explosion blew you backwards, slamming you into the large building.

You landed on your side, your ears were ringing. Everything was too warm.

Wetness was falling down your face.

“Fuck, run! Go, GO!”

Several pairs of feet started pounding the pavement.

“Get down! Get down now!”

Your mind was reeling. What happened? Did the place blow up? You certainly felt like you’d been blown up. Holy shit were you dead?

Coughing you tried to sit up but it felt like your shoulder was out of socket.

Remembering hearing them you cried out. “Jimin! Jungkook!” you sobbed.

“Pretty!? Where are you baby?”

“Y/N? Where are you sweetheart?

Both men’s voices were frantic, trying to find you.

“Y/N?”

“Namjoon?” you croaked.

“HERE! SHE’S HERE!” Namjoon yelled.

“Namjoon,” you whispered.

“Yes Y/N, I’m right here,” he eased, gingerly pulling the darkness away.

You looked and saw the face of your friend, sweaty and his eyes were swollen. Like he’d been crying. You whimpered and looked down. “I’m so sorry,” you cried.

“Pretty?!”

“Sweetheart!?”

Soon, two sets of hands were on you.

“Oh God, your arm,” Namjoon said, looking down.

You did the same and saw your arm was definitely out of socket.

“Y/N,” Jimin said, urging you to look up.

“Jimin,” you hiccuped.

“Y/N,” Jungkook said, moving to cut you out of your restraints.

“Oh fuck you’re bleeding,” Namjoon said, cradling your head in his hands.

“Namjoon,” a deep voice called. You turned and looked where Namjoon was walking.

“Yoongi did you call an ambulance?” Jungkook asked, turning his attention to your arm.

“They’re en route,” the man named Yoongi said.

“Are you two hurt anywhere?” you asked, raising your freed, uninjured hand to Jungkook’s cheek and then to Jimin’s.

“Nothing a few stitches won’t fix,” Jungkook teased.

“Don’t,” Jimin warned.

“We’re fine pretty, we’re worried about you,” Jungkook said, wiping your forehead.

“I’m so sorry this happened,” you said, sniveling.

“Baby, this had nothing to do with you. It’s our fault,” Jimin told you, easing you into his arms.

“But I should’ve-”

“No, Y/N, you’re not to blame here. And we’re sorry this-that you were-oh God Y/N, we were so scared,” Jungkook croaked out.

“Don’t cry,” you said, wrapping your hand around his.

“We can’t help it,” Jimin said, tears misting his vision as well.

“Jimin, Jungkook,” you began-when the wailing of sirens came around the corner.

“Later Y/N, right now, let’s focus on getting you and the babies some help.” Jimin cleared his throat and watched as a flood of more police and fire trucks came onto the scene.

Soon the paramedics grabbed you and got you onto a gurney. Jimin and Jungkook both were brought in with you, getting treatment for their own minor injuries.

The ride to the hospital was silent for the most part. You were exhausted from everything and Jimin and Jungkook were giving the paramedics your medical history. Fear gripped your heart as you felt a swirling in your stomach.

“W-Wait! Are the babies okay?” you asked, looking at a paramedic.

You felt a sharpness in your abdomen that made you gasp and look down.

“Looks like you’ve got some active little ones!” One gentleman said, a fondness spreading over his features.

“Really?” you asked, placing your hand on your stomach gingerly. A little jolt went through your hand.

“Jungkook, Jimin, I think the babies are kicking,” you whispered.

“Twins huh?” The paramedic said, looking at Jungkook and Jimin both.

“Well, congratulations, all three of you,” he smiled, something genuine and full of life. It made you feel better that’s for sure.

“Oh!” You gasped again, feeling the intensity of the kick.

“Can we feel, Y/N?” Jungkook asked, big doe eyes sparkling.

“Of course,” you announced, bringing both of their hands to your tummy. Jimin and Jungkook looked at you with wonder in their eyes. Full of tears and joy that you were back with them. And your children were safe.

Jungkook leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, Jimin following suit shortly after. You stared at the men and their bright smiles.

“Jimin, Jungkook-”

“Arriving, alright gentlemen we have to take her back but once she’s settled we’ll have both of you come back.”

Jungkook looked like he wanted to protest, but Jimin’s hand on his shoulder made him falter. He nodded and let the paramedics go forward, taking you on the gurney out of the ambulance and towards the hospital.

Damn it.

Twice now you haven’t been able to tell them.

You could scream.

But the swirling in your tummy reminded you, you have time.

All the time in the world.

You hoped.

—

Jimin was pacing furiously in the waiting room.

It had been at least two hours since the paramedics took you back.

What were they doing?

Were you okay? Were the babies okay?

God he could throw up.

Jungkook tried to get him to stop. He was making other people nervous, but Jimin snapped at him, making Jungkook retreat to the corner like a scolded puppy. He wanted to see you too, just as badly as Jimin. But he understood that Jimin’s anger was not something to be messed with.

After three hours Jimin was ready to barge through those doors.

He had half a mind to do just that, when a nurse came out with a big smile on her face.

“Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook?”

Both men scrambled over to her, making an older woman in the back chuckle lightly. Jungkook looked back and smiled sheepishly before the nurse began talking.

“So you’re both here for Y/N?”

“Yes,” Jimin said, grabbing Jungkook’s hand out of instinct.

“Well, good news! She’s all set to go home, she had some stitches put in her forehead and scalp area, we’ll give you paperwork and such that’ll tell you how to clean and care for the stitches. We did an ultrasound on the babies and they look healthy, no injuries. Other than that she has a couple scrapes and bruises but, those will heal fairly quickly. Since she did suffer a head injury someone should be with her in case of any disorientation or vertigo, she might even black out but the doctor’s did a scan and she didn’t have any internal bleeding in the brain so. Overall, she’s healthy and safe,” the nurse concluded.

Jimin took the paperwork from her and started signing for all the expenses when the door opened.

They’d given you a white hospital smock to wear that replaced your dirty and bloodied clothing. Jungkook rushed forward, taking the wheelchair from the receptionist. You were exhausted. They could see it plain as day on your face. They no doubt kept you from sleeping due to the head injury.

But the moment you saw them both your face lit up.

“Jimin, Jungkook-”

“Y/N!” The men yelled, dropping everything to wrap you up in a big hug. The nurse tutted, reminding them not to jostle you too much to avoid any rupturing of your stitches, but even she couldn’t be that mad. They looked relieved to see you.

“You’re alright? Nothing hurts does it?” Jimin worried, looking you over with keen eyes.

“Just my head hurts a bit, and it feels weird because of the stitches. But overall, I feel pretty good!”

“We’re so glad, we thought you were really hurt,” Jungkook whimpered.

“But you’re alright. And the babies are all healthy too, you’re incredible Y/N, we’re so lucky,” Jimin said softly.

“Can we go?” you asked, ready to be out of the wheelchair and free to do your regularly scheduled programming.

“Of course Pretty, come on,” Jungkook said, wheeling you out to the parking lot.

“Y/N!” Jin’s voice rang through the air.

“Y/N, thank God!” Namjoon said, holding onto Annie.

You smiled immediately upon seeing the sleepy little one in his arms. Instinctively, Annie smiled back at you, reaching forward. Your arms seemed to move on their own, grabbing her under the armpits carefully and bringing her into your embrace.

Jimin and Jungkook felt the air whoosh out of their lungs. You looked so perfectly maternal. Their hearts thudded against their chests, they shared a look and Namjoon smiled at the couple.

“Annie woke up from a nap to come see Auntie Y/N get out of the hospital,” Jin said with a gentle grin on his face.

“So glad she did,” Jimin said.

“She’s getting so big,” Jungkook announced, resting his head on your shoulder.

“She is,” you marveled, bouncing her lightly when she started to fuss.

“Well, Namjoon and I wanted to tell you that we have a room in our apartment that’s free for a little while, Jungkook and Jimin mentioned wanting to buy a house and we don’t feel comfortable letting you go back to that apartment, so, stay with us for a while?”

You looked down at Annie’s chubby face and beamed.

“Okay, yeah, let’s do that,” you agreed.

The men gathered you up and helped you get into the car.

Finally some peace.

--

There was no peace in your mind when you walked into Jin and Namjoon’s spare room.

It was like a bad fanfiction.

There was only one king bed in the middle of the room.

Jungkook had packed up some stuff for all of you for the next few days, until you could all figure out something to do.

Jimin set down the bags while Jin and Namjoon went to put Annie down for the night.

“There’s only one bed in here,” you said lamely.

“Yeah, no trouble though, we should all fit,” Jimin said, rubbing his chin contemplatively.

“Um,” you bit your lip lightly, trying not to full on panic at the thought of sleeping in the same bed as them.

“Something wrong, Y/N?” Jungkook asked, looking at you with concern.

“No no, I’m fine, it's just. There’s only one bed,” you stated again, like a broken record.

“Yes...?”

“I just-”

“Y/N do you want us to get a hotel and you stay with Namjoon and Jin?” Jimin asked.

“No!” You said loud, making both men startle at your tone.

“Y/N, Pretty, we don’t want to make you uncomfortable. We’ll go and get a hotel, it’s late. You’re exhausted, just rest,” Jungkook said, moving towards the door, Jimin went to follow him when you gripped their wrists, effectively stopping them in their tracks.

“Y/N-”

They both started, like they wanted to appease you. But you weren’t having any of it.

“No. I don’t want you to leave me, and I don’t want to leave you.”

Both men felt hope glimmer in their chests. The rings Jungkook bought weighing heavy in his pocket, but they had to know.

Did... Did you feel the same as them?

“This whole time, you two have been nothing but genuine and kind to me. You’ve shown me... You’ve shown me what it’s like to have a family again and I-” you felt emotion well up in your throat. “I don’t want to give that up. These kids, you two, I don’t want to walk away... I-I can’t walk away, so please tell me if this is a pipe dream and I need to wake up or-or if there’s a chance at you both like me too-”

Jungkook couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Pretty!” He swooned, picking you up by your under arms and spinning you in the air.

“Us too, we like you too pretty, Y/N, darling.”

“W-what?” You blinked slowly, trying to comprehend Jungkook’s words.

“Y/N, sweetheart, we want to be with you and our children, we don’t want you to leave. Ever. Stay with us?” Jimin asked, coming over to Jungkook’s side and leaning his head on Jungkook’s shoulder.

“Yes! A million times yes,” you squealed, clinging to Jungkook and grabbing Jimin’s arms as well.

“Shall we make it official?” Jungkook asked, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the ring boxes.

Beautiful bands sat in their cushions, gleaming up at you with bright white diamonds in the setting. A beautiful ring shone from the middle box, white gold and a large sapphire surrounded by diamonds made your throat close in emotion yet again.

“Yes,” you whispered.

Jungkook gently slid the ring onto your finger, handing you a band.

“Do the honors for Jimin Pretty?”

You took the ring, gingerly sliding it onto Jimin’s finger and watching as he did the same for Jungkook. You all matched.

“Y/N, we’re so happy, I could just about burst,” Jungkook whispered.

“You’re all we’ve ever wanted, Sweetheart, truly,” Jimin smiled.

“Y-You guys wanted another partner?”

“We’ve discussed it in the past. But we weren’t certain until you came along,” Jimin said, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

“Beautiful,” Jungkook said, bringing your hand to his lips so he could kiss your ring gently.

“We’re so glad to have you, Y/N,” Jimin said, kissing your cheek.

Your heart felt so full. Like you were about to lose your goddamn mind. Fuck, you were gonna cry if they kept this up. Being pregnant will do that to you, and having two of the sweetest men alive confess their feelings for you.

God here come the waterworks.

“Oh sweetheart, don’t cry,” Jimin said, rubbing your shoulder, his ring glinting in the light of the dim room.

You couldn’t help the tears however, you were so happy in this moment. With them, and your full belly making you even more joyous.

“I can’t help it, I’m just, so happy,” you hiccuped, wrapping your arms around their necks and bringing them closer to you. Well, as close as you could with your big bump.

“We’re happy too Pretty, so happy,” Jungkook said, kissing your head.

You were about to speak more when a yawn erupted from your mouth. You felt the full brunt of exhaustion hit you in the span of a few seconds. Had this really all happened in less than twenty four hours? Was that all it took for your life to change?

“I think it’s time for our princess to get some sleep,” Jimin stated.

“Most certainly. Come on pretty, let’s get you dressed and ready for bed,” Jungkook said, bringing you into the bathroom and helping you get all situated.

It was utter bliss. Truly.

--

Your heart was pounding.

Today was the day you’d figure out what you were having.

Jungkook and Jimin had been nothing but sweet to you for the entire week. They still hadn’t kissed you, but, that was a trouble for a different time. You’d all just been enjoying each other’s company, and Jin and Namjoon were there as well. Helping you while Jimin and Jungkook were at work.

But they both had taken the day off today.

Jungkook was sitting in the back seat with you, holding your hand while Jimin drove. Car sickness had suddenly taken a hold of you earlier in the week. Something you’d read could happen while pregnant. It didn’t mean it made you any less irritated at the fact you couldn’t even be in an elevator without wanting to vomit.

“You okay Pretty?” Jungkook asked, raising a brow at you.

You must’ve looked pretty rough, this was the third time he’d asked in a twenty minute car ride.

“I’ll be alright, I just need some water,” you said, taking a small swallow of your water bottle and giving him a weak smile afterwards. Jungkook’s brow furrowed and he kissed your hand.

:Jimin, baby, please hurry up, she's not doing too well back here,” Jungkook said.

“Alright, just hang in there sweetheart,” Jimin said, looking in the rearview mirror at you.

Finally you rolled up to the clinic. Jungkook helped you out of the back, bringing you into his arms to help you resituate yourself. Jimin came over and rubbed your back slowly, kissing your shoulder before heading towards the door. Jungkook and you followed shortly after, walking in behind him.

You were checked in and sat down. Your head was still spinning lightly, but a few calming breaths had the fog clearing up. Jungkook took one hand while Jimin held his. Jungkook had taken to fiddling with your ring, an absent minded habit he’d picked up when he was nervous. He said it was nothing, but it’s like he wanted to make sure you never took it off.

“Park Jimin, Jeon Jungkook and Miss Y/N?” a nurse said at the door.

You stood up and went back. Jimin and Jungkook following shortly after you.

“Actually gentleman, the doctor would like to speak to Miss Y/N on her own, if that’s alright with you. There’s some private health information-”

“They can come back it doesn’t matter to me-”

“Actually, ah, Miss... It isn’t your decision to make, I'm afraid.”

“It’s my personal information and I can’t decide whom I want to share it with? I signed a release it should be fine for them to come with me-”

“Y/N, pretty, easy,” Jungkook soothed.

“It’s just a few minutes, we’ll be right back here if you need us,” Jimin said, petting your hair gently.

“Okay, you’re right. I apologize I didn’t mean to be rude,” you said, hands slipping from theirs.

“You’re alright, just come with me please,” she said, holding the door open for you.

You gave Jimin and Jungkook a nod before walking back with the nurse.

She led you through the usual process, getting your weight, checking your blood pressure and heart rate before telling you the doctor would be in shortly.

Soon, Dr. Heinz came in.

“Hello Miss Y/N, how are we doing today?” he asked, a somber expression on his face.

“I-I’m fine, but-”

“I’m glad to hear it. I am so sorry to tell you this... But, there are some complications with your pregnancy,” he said softly.

“What?” you asked, holding your stomach with shaky hands.

“After your incident, I got in contact with the emergency room and got your test results back and there is a very high risk of this pregnancy not going to term and putting you and the babies health in danger,” he said, looking at your file with sad eyes.

“What do you mean? They said I was fine,” you argued. Not wanting to believe what he was saying.

“I-I’m really sorry but we suggest aborting this pregnancy,” Dr. Heinz swallowed hard.

“You... what...?”

“To save your life, I’m afraid the best solution is to-”

“No, no absolutely not. That’s not an option here.”

“Miss Y/N, I know that you’re upset but you will have the option to try again in a few months. Once you agree to do that I’m sure Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park will-”

“This isn’t about the money, this is about my children. You want me to abort-”

“These aren’t your children,” Dr. Heinz said lowly.

“Excuse me?”

“You signed a contract, giving up all legal rights to these children once they’re born, best not to get too attached.”

“What’s the likelihood of me surviving this pregnancy?” you asked, bringing your hand to wipe some tears.

“It’s less than fifty percent.”

You swallowed thickly before looking up at him. “D-Do I have time to think about it?”

“I would say possibly two weeks at the most before you reach the point of no return. Once you hit that mark it would be far more dangerous to abort the pregnancy than to have you attempt birth.”

“Do Jimin and Jungkook know?” you asked.

“I didn’t think it would be good for them to hear it from me. Better to have you explain the situation as you all seem very close.”

“I understand,” you said, eyes filling with tears.

“I’m truly sorry Miss Y/N, please think on what I’ve said,” he said, closing the manila file in his hands and walking towards the door.

“Can you tell me, the genders of the babies?”

He was quiet for a moment.

“A boy and a girl.”

“I knew it,” you whispered.

--

Jungkook and Jimin saw your tear stricken face when you came out and all hell broke loose.

“What happened in there? What did he do to you? Are you hurt anywhere?” Jimin growled, bringing you into his arms.

You swallowed your tears and gave them a watery smile. “It’s okay,” you whispered.

“You’re crying obviously it’s not okay-” Jungkook pressed.

“They’re happy tears.”

That was a big fat lie.

You were more devastated than you’d ever been in your entire life. But you just had to make it two weeks. Two weeks and then... Then you could tell them.

“You’re clearly upset.”

“I was right,” you said, gently bringing your hands to theirs. “One boy and one girl,” you whispered, bringing their hands to your stomach.

Jimin’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. You smiled when he rubbed his fingers along your covered stomach. Jungkook was equally affected.

“A boy and a girl?” Jungkook asked.

“Yes, one of each,” you said. Your eyes locked with the nurse who was talking with the doctor. You bit your lip and pleaded with your expression to not have them come over here. Just let you live in this fantasy for a little while.

“Oh Pretty,” Jungkook said, tears pricking at his vision.

“They’re going to be so beautiful. And you’re going to be the perfect mother,” Jimin said, eyes shining so bright. The pain in your heart was more than anything you’d ever experienced before. But to see the look on their faces, to see the love for your children and you. It was enough.

It had to be.

--

Namjoon and Jin were waiting with dinner when you all got back. Jimin and Jungkook started gushing the moment you walked in the door.

‘She’s having one of each!” Jungkook cheered.

“Really? Y/N?” Namjoon said, a bright smile on his face. You nodded, trying your best to keep your spirits up. You weren’t going to die. You were going to meet your children if it was the last thing you ever did.

And it very well might be.

“Yeah,” your voice sounded strained even to your ears. But Jungkook and Jimin were too excited to notice.

Namjoon however, caught on almost immediately.

“Y/N, do you want to see Annie? She’s been fussy all day and maybe she just wants her favorite Auntie?”

You nodded, knowing the second the nursery doors were closed the interrogation was going to start. It’d been that way since you were younger. Namjoon could always read you like a book, even if you tried to keep it all locked away.

Although, you knew you would have to tell someone.

Namjoon guided you away from the crowd of people and let you into the nursery where Annie was sleeping peacefully.

“You said she was fussy?”

“What happened at the doctor’s appointment?”

You bit your lip as the tears started to come down your face.

Any anger in Namjoon’s voice dissipated as he brought you into a hug. “Hey, what’s wrong? You can tell me,” he encouraged.

“The doctor told me, that there’s less than a fifty percent chance of me birthing these children and living,” you whimpered.

Namjoon froze.

“What?”

“He wants me to abort the pregnancy but I can’t Namjoon, I can’t,” you said, heart lurching at the words coming out of your mouth.

“Slow down, what do you mean?”

“The injuries I sustained from the kidnapping.. they affected me more than we thought,” you confessed.

Namjoon got quiet, looking down at the floor.

“You’re not going to give up are you?”

You shook your head slowly. “I can’t Namjoon, I won’t give up on these kids.”

“They might grow up without you,” he warned.

“They might not,” you said quietly.

“I understand that you want to do this, but think of everyone you’d be leaving behind. And how much we’d miss you,” he said, really trying to get you to think about this.

Even though you know it was the only thing on your mind.

Namjoon sighed.

“Jungkook and Jimin have no idea do they?”

You shook your head again, trying to fight back the shameful tears threatening to bubble up in your vision. Namjoon sighed again, rubbing his face.

“You need to tell them,” he said.

“I can’t Namjoon-”

“These are their children too. And it's their girlfriend’s life on the line,” he explained.

You nodded, knowing he was right. But it was going to hurt so much to tell them. It was going to hurt so fucking bad and you weren’t sure if you could do it.

“Please Y/N, at least tell them there’s something wrong. Don’t suffer in silence,” he said, giving you a gentle squeeze to the shoulder.

“Alright,” you agreed, biting your lip to keep yourself from crying too much.

“Relax in here with Annie for a bit,” he nodded towards the baby, gurgling in her sleep.

“Okay,” you said, sitting down.

“I’ll get you a plate and bring it in for you. Just relax for now, you’ve had a long day.”

With that, Namjoon left, shutting the door behind him. The tears started flowing freely down your face, leaving you with sticky cheeks, but you didn’t care. This sucked so bad. Why did this have to happen to you? Why couldn’t you have one normal fucking thing happen to you in your life? Why did everything have to be so complicated-

Annie started to fuss in her crib. You stood up carefully, bringing her into your arms to soothe her. Bouncing her gently you sighed. You wanted so badly to hold your own children. You wanted to cuddle them and rock them back to sleep.

But this would do for now.

Namjoon did come back in with a plate of supper for you, but you said you weren’t that hungry. Even though you knew you should try to stay as healthy as possible. You just couldn’t bring yourself to do it right now.

He left the plate in there with you, but you didn’t touch it.

Eventually you found yourself nodding off, when someone knocked at the door.

You didn’t even register being picked up until Jimin pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Babe, get the door for me?” Jungkook asked, his voice close to your neck.

“Got it,” Jimin whispered.

You felt the sheets of your bed underneath you, and Jungkook’s retreating form. But you clung on, gripping him so tightly he almost fell on top of you. Jimin and Jungkook both chuckled, but you felt the warmth of tears spreading down your face again.

Jimin picked up on it first.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” he asked, bringing his hand to your slightly swollen cheeks.

“Pretty?” Jungkook whispered, kneeling down.

“Jungkook, Jimin, I have... I have to tell you something,” you said, sitting up.

Jungkook and Jimin exchanged a look before sitting on the bed next to you.

“What’s wrong pretty? Is it about something the doctor said earlier?”

“Yeah, you’ve been upset since we left,” Jimin added on.

You swallowed hard and looked at both of them.

“They want me to abort the pregnancy.”

The room was silent.

Jimin’s eyes were large, Jungkook’s were filling with tears.

“What? Why?” Jungkook asked, coming forward to take one hand in his.

“Because, the kidnapping. They-There were some tests the hospital didn’t do correctly or something because I’m not fine. There’s less than a fifty percent chance that me and the babies will survive labor,” you explained.

Both men looked at each other with fear in their eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“It means that if I don’t abort these children, it will likely kill me,” you said so soft that the men had to strain to hear you.

“Y-You what? You’ll die?” Jimin asked, bringing his hand to your cheek.

“Y/N no, there’s another way, there has to be. We can find a different doctor-maybe-” Jungkook stammered, eyes full of tears.

“I’m so sorry,” you cried, hands covering your face.

“What?” Jungkook and Jimin exclaimed.

“Pretty no,” Jungkook said, wrapping you up in his arms. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Y/N, we’re worried about you baby. If this pregnancy isn’t safe then maybe we should consider trying again-” Jimin started.

“No!” you cried. “I don’t want to try again, I don’t want to give up on them. I love them so much, and I love you both so much. I don’t want to lose any of you.”

Tears ran hot down your face as Jungkook and Jimin tried to soothe your cries.

“Please let me try, please, don’t give up on them,” you begged.

Jimin sobbed out your name before wrapping you up in his arms as well.

“But baby we can’t lose you either, we love our babies just as much as you do. But we can’t do this without you,” Jungkook cried.

“Y/N, this is serious. Think about what you’re asking of us.”

“I wouldn’t ask it of you if I wasn’t sure I wanted to do this. Please let me try.”

The room was quiet for a few moments before Jungkook pulled back and pressed his lips to yours firmly. Your eyes went wide before relaxing into the kiss. Jungkook’s mouth worked against yours slowly, Jimin’s hands wandered to your waist patiently.

Jungkook pulled back and Jimin’s lips replaced his. You were shocked at how plump and soft his lips were, but they were just as sweet as Jungkook’s. You felt hands cradling your stomach. You pulled away to look down and saw both men’s hands on your tummy.

“We won’t give up baby,” Jimin said.

“Not on you or our kids,” Jungkook echoed.

“We love you so much,” Jimin whispered. “I love you both.”

“I love you too, both of you,” you said, smiling.

This was going to work.

Because you weren’t sure what would happen if it didn’t...

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[cactuswaterscactusfields]

Never About Us - Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Lava and Glaciers

Rating: Explicit - Minors DNI!

Word Count: 5.7k

For anyone who has trouble imagining a sith din, here’s a link to a Tumblr post with something I made on mandocreator.

Chapter Warnings: Angst, violence, cursing, mentions of death/threats of death. Descriptions of injuries, Trauma, PTSD, descriptions of fearful/radiation injuries. Descriptions of weaponry/making things up about ships and weapons. Indirect mentions of s/a. Let me know if I missed any!!

Translation Guide:

Cyar'ika (mando'a): "darling, sweetheart" Ner kar'taylir gar darasuum: "I will love you forever" lit. "I will know you forever"

Thank you to Geo and Wren for betareading this and sitting with me all those late nights I had the three am caffeine-induced writing sprees. I couldn’t do it without you.

-

Holy Shit.

You are currently sitting in a razor crest rocketing through hyperspace at a thousand lightyears per hour, probably breaking at least four Coruscantian laws of physics. But, you’re alive. You survived a battle with an inquisitor. You survived a battle with a force-sensitive Mandalorian murderer, and though you’re no Jedi, you somehow distracted him well enough to steal a ship from your abusive boss and make it into hyperspace.

The only issue now is you’ve got a target the color of your lightsaber, which is bright-kriffing-orange, on your back. Well, kriff. It was bound to happen eventually, your hind-brain consoles you. As you look down from the psychedelic-colored view panel in front of you that people have probably gone insane watching, you realize you have no clue where you’re going. The control panel lies still sticky with blood and ash, and the controls are blinking lazily. The ship’s on autopilot, which is probably a good thing, but you’re still a mess. You finally find the courage to look down at your chest, and there is a distinct lack of wound where the Mandalorian slashed you. That bacta isn't messing around.

Sure, there’s a fading pink scar, but that’s better than the gnarly saber wound that had painted your vision a new shade of starry and introduced your nerves to what a burn feels like. Sure, you’ve been burnt before, but it’s different when it’s from a white-hot energy blade made from force energy and plasma that probably could beat a star when it comes to who’s hotter. 

Regardless, you find the motivation to get up and survey what you’re working with. Your bag lies on the floor next to the chair where you collapsed, and the items in it have begun to spill out. You reach down and begin to rifle through it to take a quick head count.

One lightsaber, check. You click the button on it, and the blade extends like an extension of yourself. It still works. You quickly deignite the blade and place it back into the bag.

Two sets of clothes, check. They’re a bit sandy, but they’re livable.

Three days’ worth of rations. It’s gray mash, but you can’t complain. It’s not like you haven’t been eating that for the past three days anyway.

Two days’ worth of drinking water, but not enough to bathe with.

Enough credits to buy passage on a passenger ship to a nearby planet or perhaps buy some food.

It’s not much. But there are things to be grateful for in this world, and your bag’s contents fall under that list. You shove the stuff back into your bag and stand back up. Your back aches slightly from laying unconscious for who knows how long on that makerforsaken chair, but it’s better than being dead.

You turn toward the exit and make your way down from the cockpit into your new home. A ‘fresher in the corner, what looks like a…carbonite freezer on one wall, a stack of boxes, and a cabinet strewn open. Whatever was in that cabinet is gone now. As for sleeping, you see a cot built into one of the walls, and it appears to be of the fold-down variety. Makes space easier, you suppose. You sigh and look back up toward the cockpit. You still have no clue where you’re going.

You enter the fresher, and see..a shower? Are your eyes deceiving you?As your wonderstruck self creeps toward the shower and twists the nozzle, apparently they were. The shower sputters for a few moments, but no water comes out. Typical.

To have a working shower, you need to have water. To have water, you need to restock at a planet. And of course, the planet you were just on, deserted as it is, doesn’t have water. Whatever, you’ll find a sonic on whatever planet your sorry ass plugged into the ship’s coordinate system. 

Almost as if the force itself heard you, a sharp beeping sounds out from upstairs. Fuck.

You bolt out of the refresher after twisting the nob back to the ‘closed’ setting, and you climb up the tower, back screaming at you from the sudden movement. 

“Kriff!”

You sit down in the chair quickly, and your mind blanks again. You still don’t know how to fly this thing, and sheer luck allowed you to get off Geonosis in the first place. Why can’t this damn ship have labels?

The ship finally drops out of hyperspace with an aggressive jolt, and apparently, the beeping was to let you know that you should be strapped in. Should you be thanking it? Maybe, but it did almost give you a heart attack and interrupt your moping about the distinct lack of water aboard your ship. What’s a desert girl got to do to get some kriffing water?As the planet wooshes into view, white clouds and gray continents greet your eyes. And then it comes to you:

Nevarro.

–

Your ship lands in a landing field, and you slowly climb out of it, bag slung over your shoulder, and warmth greets you. Not again. Of course, it had to be a hot, lava-filled, ashy dusty planet with probably a low quality of life, and judging by the fact that you’re not getting any stares for having a burnt and ripped shirt, wrecked overalls, leather boots, and a face smeared with dirt, oil, grime, and whatever else Geonosis brought you, you’re not in a place you’ll be provided with top-level medical care. But who are you to complain? It’s somewhere that the Mandalorian Inquisitor isn’t.

You look around, and the ground beneath your worn leather shoes flutters around, like ash and dust. That could be because it is ash and dust, but you won’t go into the semantics of what Nevarro’s soil is composed of. Your mind jolts to more pressing matters, and you’re brought a memory.

–

“Now, cyar’ika, listen to me. If you ever need help, go to one of these planets.”Your father is holding a paper with numbers on it–coordinates.

“Wh-why?” Your voice sounds foreign even to you, young as it is, and still full of innocence. Oh, how times have changed. Your hand reaches out to grasp the paper, and the material feels foreign to your datapad-accustomed hands. The writing on it is meticulous as if written by hands familiar with deeply important subjects, where a mistake means life or death.

“These places are going to provide a form of solace. You may not be in the best area, and bad things could happen, but you will be safe. There are people there who can help you.

The blaster fire almost deafens his voice, and you realize where you are. Orange-black smoke fills the sky, and you see two dead robot men–droids–behind him. Screams and cries echo around you, and your very soul aches with the pain that those around you are currently going through. It hurts. Badly. It’s like thousands, no, millions of lives are being put out, as if an entire culture is dying, a planet itself burning in pain for the false transgressions of a few leaders.

Your pod gleams with dust, and the blueish plasteel panel begins to close. Your father takes your hand, kisses it, and–

–

“Hey, ash-face. You gonna walk or what?” A gruff voice sounds out behind you, and on instinct, you begin to walk. So it’s that bad, huh? You know what led you to this place, but damn, to be called out on it hurts. Well, that’s the way life goes out here. You’re in the outer rim here. This isn’t like coruscant, where the money flows free, and if you bet you only lose a speeder. Out here, if you take a bet and fail to pay, you get shot. But, it’s somehow safer, you think to yourself. You’ve learned to survive.

The wind blows past your face, and it stings slightly on your raw, grimey skin. It’s nothing you aren’t used to, being that normally by now you would have had four or five sand burns on your body from the drifts of winds coming into town from the irradiated deserts beyond. You remember it…fondly, the heat of the sun on your face, the nightmares all those nights triggered when Gakrux was particularly pleasant toward you. The sarcasm your thoughts bring is so thick you could cut it with a knife. The thought of being forced to stay in that desert as the remnants of the empirical sterilization slowly tear your DNA apart and you slowly die from dehydration–you shiver. Your hindbrain jumps off that topic and back to the issue at hand, and for once you agree with it. Nobody wants to think about being left in a desert to die, especially not you. But you’re not there anymore. You’re in a new place, hopefully safe (at least your father seemed to believe so), and may have a new chance at employment.

You walk down the road, and you see a bar in between the innumerable gray, black, and brown stony buildings permanently stained drab from the ever-present fires off in the wilds and the ash that somehow manages to coat every inch of life on this planet. First sand, and now ash? You can’t catch a break. But, whatever the force has in mind has got to be better than being hunted down by an inquisitor who knows how you were raised, how you were trained to think, and how you can fight.Maybe you could ask for help. It doesn’t look too…shitty, but it’s not the safest dive you’ve ever been to. Regardless of the socioeconomic status of the town around you, you press onward and enter the open doorway. Eyes meet yours, and a greenish lizard–trandoshan, you correct yourself–walks toward you. However, before he can say a word, a man dressed in rich-looking clothing and a cloak appears in your frame of vision.

“Hello, little one! Welcome to the guild! To what do I owe this pleasure? My name…is Greef Karga!”

–

So, you’ve met Greef Karga. Maker, he talks a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. He doesn’t stop. First, he asked you where you’ve come from, (“You’re covered in grime, there must be a story behind that!!” He cheerfully cantered to you, you so fondly remember.) where you’re going (“No Clue,” You answered honestly.) and who you are (you didn’t give an answer to that one beyond your name.). After, however, you’ve downed a few spotchka shots and sufficiently burnt your throat with the liquor, you begin to open up.

“Why did you come here?” His voice breaks your ever-present reminiscing.

“To be honest..I’m not sure. Someone I trust told me I could find work and safety here.”His eyes narrow slightly at that one, and your senses sharpen slightly. He’s tense, very tense. You almost wonder why, but everyone has their dirty laundry. Perks of being force sensitive, you suppose? You’re able to sense someone’s emotions unless they’re really good at blocking it, or, they’re a force-immune species like a Geonosian. That’s another reason you hated Gakrux. You couldn’t read him any better than you could his language. You’re not quite sure how you learned how to read people so well, or if it’s just something that comes with the multi-part package that is being force-sensitive. However you gained the asset that has kept you alive more times than you can count, you’re still in your present situation on Nevarro.

“Do you know who I am?”

You shake your head. Greef Karga. He’s gotta have money, or power, or something to his name. You can’t quite figure out what, though. By now, you’ve attracted a few eyes, and the trandoshan from earlier definitely has his eye on you. Let’s just hope that he doesn’t know who you are. Apparently, that’s a common theme around here. Just like geonosis, you recognize. On that maker-be-damned sterile sand-hole of a planet, you knew nothing about anyone else beyond their name, beyond whether they broke their ship often or kept it in pristine condition. That’s the way it goes.

“I am the head of the bounty hunter’s guild here. I’m sure you recognize what that means.”

Oh. OH. Your brain immediately jumps into action, thinking of a thousand different possible escape routes by which to get out of this bar. That trandoshan will probably give chase, you’ll probably have to dodge some blasterfire which means drawing your saber, you may have to fight your way out and that could draw the empirical authorities, which means you’d be on their radar again and have to leave–it’s not a favorable situation at all. You could maybe–

“It means you need work, right?” His voice pierces your mind like a spear thrown by some long-dead god.

You quickly nod, and throw back another shot of spotchka to get your mind away from the escape-fueled adrenaline currently pumping through it and your quickly-beating heart. Maker, that would have been bad. Just a job. It’s just work, it’s just a job. 

“Tell you what. I’ll register you with the guild, and get you started on a simple bounty. You ever been to..Hoth?”

–

As the mechanics present at the shipyards on Nevarro slowly fill your ship with fuel and drinking water, you learn a few things. First, you’re pretty good at what you do, according to a conversation between two of the mechanics you overheard while restocking. At least that’s one positive you gained from your years of being on the run, beyond the sleep-deprivation and nightmares that seem to always plague your restless slumber.

Second, the people on this planet really don’t like the empire. You can’t blame them, though. From what you’ve learnt over years of hiding in the shadows, ever-familiar as you are with them, the empire has brought nothing but a façade of peace and deeply-rooted suffering in the circles you’ve passed through, whether those are richly coated disgraced former magistrates or Geonosian head mechanics with a penchant for throwing rusty objects at their underlings.

 Third…you have no clue what you’re getting into with this Hoth bounty. Hoth, from what you’ve read in Nevarro’s absolutely miniscule library (a real shame, you think to yourself. It could have been so helpful for information or parsing through some of the coordinates your father gave you), is cold. Like, really cold. But, you’ve managed to buy a thick coat (the shopkeeper gave you a really weird look when she heard that you’re buying all of this winter gear. It’s not like Nevarro truly even has a winter beyond hot lava and less hot lava), some cold-weather-attuned gear, and rations. You hope it’s enough.

As you slowly make the trek from the marketplace (if you ever come back here, you note, you’ll have to explore it more. It seems very..quaint.), you see your shiny razor crest all fueled up and ready to go. The sands and sun of Geonosis really did a number on her image, and now that she’s not reflecting radiation, you can appreciate the real beauty of the pre-imperial gunship. Two massive laser cannons next to two engines you could probably fit in if you tried, a hyperdrive at the back that dwarfs the nearby imperial-era ships, and who knows what else. She’s a real beauty, your mandalorian heart purrs. You’re never truly not a mandalorian, and from an early age your father taught you to appreciate weapons not as forces of carnage, but as forces of strength. Even after you were forced to flee your home, you’ve never truly stopped seeing the ships and weapons around you and appreciating their craftsmanship and dedication. Maybe that’s why you’re scared to use your saber, beyond the fact that it instantly reveals who you are. It was made for you, to fit in your hand, to be weilded to defend you, to keep you safe, made as a weapon to fit in the little hole in your heart that is a defenseless force weilder, made for you by your father. It’s the last thing you have left of home, beyond your memories.

You walk onto her after all of the tubes and pipes have been disconnected, and you start to unpack all of the rations and equipment you bought. Apparently, the guild has a pretty good starting bonus, seeing as it provided free ship repairs and refuels, and enough to afford you three weeks’ worth of rations and the clothes you bought. Your eye falls back to the refresher, and walk over. Maybe you’ll get to shower?

Your hopes are dashed, however, when you remember that Nevarro is a dry planet too. What is it with you and dry planets? Apparently, as much as your conscious mind hates them, your unconscious mind wants to stay very far from them. The reason why is lost on you, as you turn back to look up at the ladder. You also managed to pick up a quick infopanel from the library on how to fly a ship, and though it’s nowhere near the real thing, you know what the buttons do and when to press and not to press the throttle. It’s a miracle you’re not dead.

You climb up the ladder after pressing the red triangle labeled “closed” in Aurabesh next to the door. At least your father taught you how to read. He taught you a lot of things, it appears. If only you still….no, you say to your mind. That’s a topic you’d rather not breach. 

The cockpit once again presents itself to you, all shiny buttons and metal walls and plasteel viewing panels. Maybe this could be home, for now. Better than your apartment back on Geonosis. You wonder what will happen to that place. After not paying rent, they’ll probably investigate and find you no longer living there. When that happens, they’ll likely auction off the belongings you left there, get rid of the water and give it to people with more money than you can dream of, and rent the property out to someone else so that they can suffer in your place. What makes you different than anybody else? Why did you deserve to escape mandalore? What did you do to deserve escaping Geonosis? What makes you so special? You don’t know, honestly. You lived your life as any other mandalorian child. You were force-sensitive, yes, but what does that give you when others like you have been increasingly hunted by imperial soldiers and inquisitors? Why are you so unique that you survive in the face of death when others have not been so lucky? Unfortunately, you know exactly what your mind is doing. Survivor’s guilt. You read of it in your father’s notes, back when you first learned to read. Of course, then, you couldn’t understand what the book was telling you. Why, your small brain had asked, why would someone feel this way when they’re alive? Alive is a good thing!

You know for a fact that’s not the case. Regardless, you have places to be.

You sit down at the control panel, and hesitantly press the startup button. The ship roars to life beneath you, and you flex your hands.

Okay, that’s step one. Remember what he said. Pull on the throttle, and then push, but not too hard.

You do as your train of thought commands, and the ship slowly raises into the sky before jetting off into the atmosphere. You enter the coordinates Karga gave you for Hoth, and then press the blinking bright red hyperdrive button. As if on instinct, the ship slows for a moment as the stars begin to warp, and then it almost tears through space as it enters the hyperspace lane. Your ship settles almost as quickly as it entered, and the streaking lights are all that greet your eyes. Now what?

–

It appears the next course of action is to wait. Just like your trip from Geonosis to Nevarro, you have no way to tell the time beyond the ticking of the destination panel, which displays how long until you arrive, and the clock you bought and set to Nevarran time while you were on Nevarro. Your circadian rhythm is so screwed. Well, at least you could try and organize.

You climb back down the ladder and face the equipment, clothes, and food you purchased at the market. Maker, there’s a lot. The bags of clothes (provided in canvas bags by the kind shopkeeper that you assume will keep the fragile articles safe) are piled up to your waist, and your food crates are stacked taller than your head. Well, you’ve got about two days, and absolutely nothing to do but think, so, here goes.

You start with the clothes. You begin to sort them first by function, and then by color, and then by size, from thinner to thicker. Your winter clothes have one cubby, your desert-related clothes have another, and of course, other cubbies are assigned for undergarments, clothes without a distinct weather pattern protection, and coats/overlayers. It’s a lot more than originally expected, but at least you have some variation from the overalls and tunic that you’re used to. As you sort, your everchanging mind wanders.

–

“How do I use it?”“When the time comes, my dear, you will know. You will know with your heart. Remember what I’ve always told you. Trust in the force, and trust in yourself.”

“Will you be there when I do?” Your eyes focus on his face, and you focus, and the blade ignites.

It’s orange, like blazing fire, or a pool of lava, or leaves from trees you’ve never seen but in books falling to the ground. Somewhere between yellow and red, somehow familiar, like you’ve seen it before. It stands out against the fiery skies, and the ash that lands on the blade burns up on contact. It’s hot, you can feel the heat on your face, its weight powerful in your palm. This object, your little mind tells you, will define your fate.

The blade de-ignites as you refocus, and your eyes meet your father’s.

“Ner kar’taylir gar darasuum, cyar’ika. Never forget that.”

He closes the pod once again, and you watch him as the pod lifts slowly into the air. You see more metal men approach behind him, and your little fists bang on the glass desperately. You see the ground below you begin to disappear, and you begin to sob. You can see it now in your mind's eye, them putting a gun to his head, your mind conjuring images of watching your father die in front of you while you can't do anything, and it'll be all your fault. You didn't stop them. The tears pour down your sliced face, stinging the cut from the earlier rock. You can’t get to him, you can’t tell him. You’re trying so hard, but he doesn’t hear, he doesn’t know, they’ll hurt him! They approach him from behind, and as you scream out to him, they--

–

You snap awake, your face pressed into the floor of the ship. You’re sprawled over a pile of rations, and you sit up slowly. You look down at the rations, and they’re half-organized. You must have fallen asleep while organizing. You look at the clock, and it’s been about eight hours since you fell asleep. You must have been very tired. At least you don’t have long until you land on Hoth.

Over the next four hours, you finish organizing the food and water into their separate expiration dates and types, and you stand up. Your knees scream at you from the prolonged pressure on the ground. You’ll be sore for weeks. Your back aches again, and you’re reminded of how you felt waking up just a few meters away in the cockpit. Your poor back, it’s been through a beating, and you know for a fact that the suffering is not over. You could see if the clinic in town has a chiropractor, but for now, you’ll just have to deal. 

As you pull on the winter clothing, the cockpit sounds out with a loud beeping you recognize almost instantly. You’re about to drop out of hyperspace. Now the only question is..how do you hunt down a bounty? Sure, you’ve fought before. It’s part of your culture, almost part of your religion. But you’ve never killed. Maybe you could bring the bounty back alive, so that no blood would be spilled on your hands beyond that from a minor scuffle. That’s probably for the best. You look over at your small blaster, and slide it into the holster on your hip. 

You climb up the ladder to the cockpit, and the quiet hum of the engines greets you. You sit down in the pilot’s seat, and strap yourself in. The beeping increases in frequency, and then it hits you–the shock of exiting hyperspace sends you forward, and your body strains against the straps that hold you into the chair. You hear both full and empty boxes sliding across the floor of the bay downstairs, almost ruining all of your hard work. At least you remembered to close the storage compartments, so your labor isn’t too ruined. Still, you’ll be slightly afraid to look down there when you inevitably have to clean up later. Ouch. 

You see the whitish-blue planet of Hoth through the view panels when your head finally stops spinning from the vertigo of the ship lurching to a slower speed, and you can immediately tell that this is going to be cold. The planet appears to be made of snow and ice, but at least it looks solid. Your hands tentatively land on the controls, and you slowly pull the ship down toward the surface. As you enter through the atmosphere, the visibility of the area around you decreases to a minimum. You try to pull up on the thrusters to give you more control, and you finally clear the clouds. The ship lowers to the ground, and as its weight comes off the thrusters and onto the ice, you hear a crack.

Uh oh.

–

You pull yourself from the smoking metal of your ship, and it comes back to you. Karga had warned you that Hoth is absolutely littered with ice caves. It’s a bit of luck and a guessing game to land in the right spot, and it appears you lost. You step away from the wreckage, and survey what you’re working with. 

First off, it looks fixable. You always have tools on you, a mechanic would be stupid not to. One of the engines looks partially fried, and some of the landing gear is bent in a shape it should not be bent in. The outer plating is pretty badly dented, but the hyperdrive and second engine appear to be fine. She won’t be pretty, but she’ll fly with a bit of TLC. The only issue…you’re on a kriffing freezing planet in an underground ice cave.

They weren’t kidding. It’s cold here. Really cold. You would have frozen in minutes if you didn’t spend the extra credits on cold weather gear. The icey wind of the blizzard outside is only dampened by the icy walls around you, and snow still falls through the hole in the ice ceiling above to land on your furry coat. You luckily avoided tearing the clothes on your back currently keeping you alive in the crash, but your nose burns as blood rushes away from it to your core. Kriff, it’s cold. Your teeth chatter slightly, and you pull your hood over your head, secure it to the mask attached to the front of the hood, and zip the rest of the coat closed. That’s a reprieve from the cold, but your eyes still sting at the absolute white of the sky above. You pull on snow goggles from the bag you had on your person when you crashed, and though your vision is now orange, your eyes won’t die from the sun reflections.

You stretch, and check your hips for your blaster and saber. One is hidden in a secret pocket on the inside of your coat, while one is in a holster. You pull the beeping red tracking fob from your boot, and as you slowly turn in a circle it beeps loudly when you face one entrance of the tunnel ahead.

So a Hoth bounty, huh?

–

You’ve been walking for about an hour, and you see an exit to the ice caves. Blue stalactites of eternally frozen ice hang above your head, and they’re almost a constant reminder of the planet you’re on. It’s not like you’re not familiar with the concept, you’ve spent the last few years on a sterile, irradiated planet of orange sand, rocky spires, and abusive bosses. However, this one is covered in snow and ice. You step, and as the snow crunches under your feet, you hear a faint footstep behind you.

Instantly, your brain jumps into high gear. Your hand flies to your blaster, and your senses are on high alert. It doesn’t help that your hearing is already slightly muffled by the hood, but you can still hear faint noises. You just have to listen. And so, you listen.

The footsteps are getting closer, and if you had to estimate, they’re about a hundred feet behind you in the caves. You turn toward the corner you just passed, and quietly leap to hide against the ice wall next to you. From this angle, you’re hidden in the blind spot of whoever is coming toward you, and you check the blinking fob in your hand. As the footsteps grow nearer, the beeping increases in frequency just slightly. You slip it into your boot and draw your blaster. You’ve got to be ready for anything.

What you aren’t ready for is the trandoshan from the guild hall rounding with a blaster aimed directly at your head. 

Your instincts kick in, and you duck. On a tragically humorous note, you’re reminded of that day when you were sent away from Mandalore. Oh, how the tables have turned. You draw your blaster and aim for his gut, but his foot comes around and kicks it from your hand. You hiss in pain and draw your hand back toward your chest protectively. As you’re distracted by the sharp pain in your wrist, he leaps onto you. 

What the hell is he about to do? Your mind immediately prepares for the worst.Your flight or fight instinct immediately kicks in, and you kick at his gut. Your foot collides with his soft stomach, and he’s thrown off you. And then he draws his blaster, and before you have time to dodge, he shoots you in the leg.

KRIFF. If you thought the lightsaber slash had hurt, this is a new level of pain. The wound begins to sting and bleed, as your adrenaline pumps through you. He creeps toward you as stars swim across your vision, and it begins to become difficult to differentiate him from the surrounding snow, ice, and dizziness your adrenaline-drunk brain is producing. You try to reach for your saber, and his foot comes down hard on your hand. You begin to try to use the force, but he quickly clasps a cuff on one of your wrists.

It’s like the world has stopped.

You can’t feel the life around you, minuscule as it may be, you can’t feel the life of the trandoshan who currently has you half-cuffed and at unconsciousness’s door, you can’t feel the ever-swimming life that has surrounded you your whole life. It feels cold. Not like a temperature, the biting wind still causes you to feel the temperature drop in the now-open wound on your ankle. You were in this web, this indescribable web connected to all the other life in the galaxy, each pulsing heartbeat sending a thousand ripples through your soul, but now…silence. Horrible, horrible silence. Silence you can’t break if you scream, silence you can’t destroy if you were to spend the rest of your life standing next to a starfighter’s engine. It feels…so lonely, like you’re in this little bubble all by yourself that can’t be broken, can’t be escaped, can’t even be felt outside of. You’re, for the first time in your life, alone. It feels awful. 

The wound on your ankle is your only solace of stimulation, the scorching pain beginning to ache deeply as blood bubbles up from the exposed veins. You’re lucky the blaster shot didn’t hit an artery. If it did, your ever-present mind tells you, you’d be dead.

It kriffing hurts, and as it begins to swell, your world fades. Your foot, already low on feeling, is now numb, and you’ll be lucky to keep it after this shot, not that it’ll matter. The trandoshan slowly places the blaster against your forehead and smiles a cruel, fanged smile. Faintly, you hear a beeping from his hand, and you see a small fob in the gloved grip of your soon-to-be killer.

“This is the end of the road for you, hmm, Jedi? There are some very powerful people who want you dead.”Is this the last face you’ll see before you join the rest of your people? Is this how it is supposed to end? A frozen planet your final resting place an eternity away from the planet your empire razed to the ground for disagreeing with it? Will this be your finale? Not in the back alley of some irradiated planet, not in the warzone of the people you were supposed to die with, but on an ice-death sphere thousands of light years away from the nearest populated planet? Is this–

A red saber cleaves through the trandoshan like a hot knife through butter. The trandoshan falls, now in two pieces, and his blaster drops from his hand onto the snow next to you. No blood falls, but the faint glow of molten flesh is all you see for a moment before two black gloved hands push the remains off of you. And then you see him. Dressed still in crimson and black, armor gleaming with snow and ice clustered to it, black plasteel t-panel staring directly at you. 

The Mandalorian Inquisitor.

“I told you I’d see you again, didn’t I, little mandalorian?” You can almost hear the smirk in his voice.

Your vision fades, and you feel yourself drop away from consciousness.

–

I had to split this chapter into two parts because of how long it was going to be, but I’ll be out soon with the third. Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!

~Cactus 

[carelessannie]

maybe it goes like this: tony courts peter (part 7)

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Epilogue

Read on A03

Read the Stuckony backstory

Word count: 5.7K

Pack focus. This means Clint x Peter x Annie (OFC), Clint x Steve, Steve x Peter, Bucky x OFC, and Steve x Tony x Bucky x Clint x Annie x Peter (wow)

It all goes to hell, because, of course it does. But it’s exciting to fix it, because everyone is falling in love.

Major warnings: D/S Au, A/B/O Au, subdrop, almost a fight bc Clint is aggressive

---

maybe it goes like this:

“So… have you heard from him yet?”

Annie sighs, rolling her eyes, and refrains from shaking the precious Omega standing behind her,

“Not in the past three minutes, Peter.”

“Sorry, I just—”

“I know, you’re nervous,” she tries to drop the tone, squinting in the bathroom mirror to finish her eyeliner, “why don’t you just call him? Or your boyfriend?”

In the reflection, Peter pouts, crossing his arms, “I tried, but both went to voicemail. He should have been done by now.”

Annie takes care to sweep perfectly symmetrical wings across each upper lid, before exchanging her eyeliner for a brighter tube of mascara. It’s taking a lot of effort to ignore Peter as he stresses over their evening, but no one has ever called her a quitter.

Peter continues his spiral in her silence, “What if they got into a fight? Could he be dead— is there a chance Steve killed him? Or what if he dropped again, and there’s no one there to help him? What if they’re in the hospital—”

Enough.

“Peter, stop it,” Annie finally turns away from the mirror and grabs Peter by his shoulders, “if any of those things happened, one of their packmates would have called by now. I know we have to leave soon, but there’s really nothing we can do, okay?”

Peter’s eyes tear up a bit and he sniffles, looking down at his outfit, which currently is one of Clint’s shirts and a pair of leggings, “Annie, I’m not— I’m not even dressed yet.”

“Let me help you, okay Pete?” she steers him out of the bathroom and towards their wardrobe, picking up her phone to try calling again as they sort through possible outfit choices for Peter.

The phone rings— once, twice, three times— before,

“Yello.”

“Clint Barton! Do you know how many times we’ve tried calling—”

“Annie! Holy shit, Annie— is Peter there? Do you have me on speaker?”

She shakes her head in disbelief while pressing the speaker button, making sure Peter can hear too.

“Is that Clint?” Peter asks, pointing at the phone. Annie nods, and Peter gasps, “You asshole! I tried to call you so many times, where on earth have you been?”

“I’m so sorry, Omega, honestly— the conversation with Steve went longer than I expected and I’m driving back now. But please, I have to tell you— I’m compatible with him!”

Both Omegas exchange a look, clearly confused and doubtful of their Beta.

“What does that mean, Clint?”

“It means I’ve got a chance. I thought I’d hate him, or be forced to put up with him for your sake. But, honestly… he’s pretty amazing. I can tell he cares a whole freaking lot about his pack and I think he’s in this for real.”

Peter reaches out to grab her hand, and Annie can’t help but smile back.

“Did you tell him your history?” Annie prompts, pulling Peter next to her so that they can sit close together on the floor.

She can almost hear Clint waving his hands around, animated in his response. “Yeah, I shared most of it with him and it made him cry, honest to god. I also told him he could catch his mates up to speed—”

“— oh my god, did you see Tony?” Peter cuts in, eyes lighting up as he wrings his tiny hands together nervously.

“Yes, needy Omega, I saw Tony. I gave him the flowers, and we had a little heart to heart, too. Real sexy, you know—”

“Shut up, Clint!” Peter squeals as Annie breaks down into helpless giggles at seeing his face light up pink, “does that mean you talked to all three of them, then?”

A small pause, “... no, actually that was kind of awkward. They said that… it seemed like… they had just finished a scene together when I showed up.”

“Oh, shit.” Annie breaths.

“Yeah, Tony definitely didn’t know I was coming,”

Peter covers his mouth, eyes going wide, “Oh god, I’m so sorry, I literally can’t believe I forgot to tell him. That sounds so horrible, C!”

There’s a chuckle on the other end, “Don’t worry, Petey, no harm done. I’ll be home soon, and we can head back out there, okay?”

Annie gives Peter a small kiss on the cheek before standing, grabbing her phone, saying, “sounds good, see ya Clint,” and hanging up without another word.

She spins, taking in Peter’s lost expression and the clothing scattered around their closet.

Okay. Motivation.

Peter yelps as Annie hauls him up by his armpits, “Time to get ready, Peter. C’mon— you are gonna look absolutely stunning tonight.”

Finally Peter’s expression melts and a genuine smile breaks out over his face. He pulls Annie closer, leaning in for a quick peck on the lips— careful to avoid messing up her lip gloss.

“I adore you, Annie,” he whispers, “— these boys are not gonna know what hit ‘em.”

She reaches up to twist one of his curls playfully before returning a smirk,

“You’re damn right.”

---

“I don’t see why I have to be in the backseat. I clearly called shotgun.”

Clint has been whining ever since they left their apartment, insisting that he was severely wronged by his insolent Omegas. Both of those Omegas are having fun ignoring him— turning up their music and talking louder to drown out his voice.

It took a half hour for Clint to get home after his call, and by some miracle, all three of them were dressed and ready to go with time to spare. Annie had spent time curling Peter’s hair into perfect ringlets before finishing his makeup with sparkly-pink eyeshadow and gloss. Both of them were ready and dressed before Clint got home, and had pushed and prodded the bewildered Beta into a nicer button up with dark jeans and combat boots.

Annie is proud of her and Peter’s outfits, of course. Not many Omegas can pull off pink like they can, and her powdered pink coat goes flawlessly with Peter’s pink polka dot button up. But even more than their outfits, she is proud of how put together their chaotic Beta looks.

After catching Peter glancing back in the rearview mirror for the third time, she decides to say something.

She turns down the music, “You look like a snack, Clint.”

Peter snickers as Clint looks down at himself in bewilderment, “I swear, I’ve never seen these clothes before in my entire life. But, thanks. I guess.”

Since Peter insisted on driving, he can only glance quickly to try and gauge Clint’s expression.

“Those boots are yours,” Peter says.

“Yeah, but when did you guys even have time to buy me clothes?” Clint’s back to complaining, and grumbles sneaky Omegas under his breath.

Annie turns, lightly slapping the inside of Clint’s thigh where he’s sprawled across the backseat, “Hush and take a compliment, Beta. I think I speak for both of us when I say we want to climb you like a tree.”

Peter gasps, swatting at her with one hand, as Clint’s eyes go wide.

She continues, “I mean, it has been awhile since we’ve had a scene, and the mention of Tony’s pack has me—”

Clint leans forward, posture straightening as he grabs her chin to silence her, “— you feeling horny, Omega?” he purrs, a feral grin taking over his face.

“M— maybe.”

“Have I not been taking care of you, Annie?” he moves closer, and forces Annie to turn almost completely in her seat.

“... Clint.”

He grips harder, “Try again.”

“Fuck, Beta. Please.”

“— guys, can this wait—” Peter tries to interrupt, but is quickly shut down by Clint growling, low.

“Sweet Omegas, is that why you dressed me up? Feeling all needy and shit?” he releases his hold on Annie’s chin and moves back to his seat, relaxing again before letting out a sigh, “but you’re right, Pete. This can wait.”

The silence is charged. Both Omegas wiggling in their seats in response to Clint’s dominant display, and Annie whimpers— a small sound that causes Peter’s breath to catch in his throat.

“Aw, Annie. No— come here,” Clint leans forward again, and as she turns he catches her lips in a lingering kiss, licking into her mouth quickly and coaxing a grin out of her.

“Don’t want you to drop, gorgeous. You know I’ll take care of you both, right? Love you so much.”

She pecks him on the lips, satisfied to see some of her pink lip gloss stain his mouth, “Love you, Clint. And you do look amazing tonight.”

“Thanks, pretty Omega,” even though it’s dark in the car, she can tell he’s blushing by the way he ducks his head bashfully.

Annie turns back to face front and catches the slight pout on Peter’s face. She crosses the center console to kiss behind his ear, and enjoys the surprised squawk from the younger Omega.

“Annie! I’m driving!”

Clint laughs, and reaches forward to rub Peter’s shoulder, “We love you too, Petey-pie.”

“Shut up.”

Both of them crack up as Peter shakes himself free. Annie intertwines their fingers and Clint settles back into his seat, quietly staring out the window at the oncoming traffic. She feels a small squeeze and looks up, exchanging a reassuring smile with Peter.

The rest of their drive passes in relative silence, and soon they are pulling up a long, winding driveway into what Annie would swear is a rainforest jungle.

As Peter navigates around the property, he explains, “Tony said that he bought this land right after Steve and Bucky courted him. A lot of it is a nature preserve, and it backs right to the Jamaica Bay. I know all of them wanted to stay in Brooklyn, but Tony absolutely refused to live near anyone, so they built this house together with the hope of living here with their future pack.”

Both Annie and Clint are glued to the window. They watch as the looming trees suddenly part, revealing a modern, sharply-angled, and breathtakingly enormous house. There are at least three stories, and the whole structure seems to be built into the surrounding forest, with a noticeable extension out into the bay.

“Peter,” Annie breathes out, still stunned speechless.

“I know, that’s how I felt earlier.” Clint replies, still looking out at the quickly approaching home.

Peter hums quietly, but Annie can see him shaking slightly. As they pull up and he parks the car, she gives his knuckles a kiss, “Peter?”

He turns and she catches a NervousDistress scent radiating off of him.

That’s not good.

With a quick look to Clint, they both jump out of the car, rounding the side to Peter’s door, and pull the startled Omega out of the driver’s seat.

“What are you— hey!”

“Come here, nervous Omega, and let us hug you,” Clint pulls Peter in, wrapping him in his arms, as Annie turns the car off. She joins the group hug and lets Clint wrap his arms around both of them.

After a few moments, Clint pulls back, gently scenting both of them for any lingering distress. Instead, he groans, “Damn, you two smell like fuckin’ ice cream. So sweet.”

Peter giggles and Annie leans up for a kiss— earning one from Clint first, then Peter.

“Feel better, Peter?” Annie asks, pulling away to look at his face.

He shrugs, “Yes, I just need to trust Tony to do his part, and… I think I’m just really excited to see him again,” he ducks his head, and Clint places another kiss on top.

“Let’s go get ‘em, tiger.”

“Ew, Clint, stop.” Both Omegas complain as Clint tows them towards the entrance, knocking firmly on the door.

They are still arguing about the merits of cheesy nicknames, when the door swings open.

“Tony!” Peter shrieks, throwing himself forward and into the larger man’s arms.

“Hi, baby,” Tony coos, picking his Omega up and spinning them around, “you look so pretty, Pete. You all do, honestly. Such a pretty pack.”

“Thanks Beta,” Peter stretches up to give him a peck on the cheek, and then freezes.

“Peter? What—” Tony puts him down, and Annie watches as two figures approach them in the hallway.

She hears Clint growl behind her, and immediately her eyes turn to Peter. She can only see the side of his face, but his eyes are wide, pupils dilated, and he sucks in a quick breath.

“A— alpha,” he moans, swaying on his feet.

The larger man— Steve, probably— steps out of the shadow and pushes Tony to the side, looming over Peter and reaching to grab his neck.

There’s an echo of growls, one behind and one ahead, before Peter collapses to his knees.

“Fuck no!”

Clint reacts suddenly, pushing Annie behind him. He jumps forward and aims a blow towards Steve, who’s still looking down at Peter, eyes glowing red. Before the hit can land, both Tony and Bucky step forward, blocking the attack on their Alpha and tearing Clint away.

Tony grabs Peter, pulling him to his feet, and pushes him into Annie’s arms.

“Down the hall, to the right. Settle him in the living room and we’ll handle this, okay?”

He doesn’t wait for an answer before grabbing Clint and dragging him back outside, hopefully to calm down. Annie struggles to carry the larger Omega down the hall, and thankfully neither Steve nor Bucky are anywhere to be found.

When they finally reach the living room, she drops Peter in a large nesting chair towards the corner and searches for blankets. After finding a few, she wraps him in them and climbs into the nest, throwing the others over top of them to enclose the space.

“Petey?”

No response. Shit.

She moves them so he’s facing her fully, and tries to shake him awake. It seems like whatever happened actually knocked him out, and she checks his eyes, his breathing, before holding him close.

“Petey, you have to wake up for me.”

It’s hard not lacing her words with a dominant tone, but the direct order seems to reach him and Peter’s breath picks up.

“Open your eyes, sweetheart, c’mon.”

His eyes blink open wide and he looks around frantically.

“— Alpha?” he whimpers.

“No, Peter. It’s me. Tell me what you need, Pete.”

He focuses on her then, lips opening and closing before he’s able to speak, “Need’ta come up, Omega. Please.”

Annie strokes over his brow, “Okay, Pete. I’ve got you.”

She uses one hand to block his eyes and the other to peel back the blankets, looking around for someone to help, and sees Bucky in the kitchen.

“Bucky, help,” she whispers, hoping the other Omega can hear her across the room.

His head shoots up as he takes in the situation, and he swiftly walks over. He looks into her eyes, sees her hold on Peter, and drops to his knees next to the nest,

“What do you need, Omega?”

She has to stop herself from reaching out to touch him, and instead keeps her eyes on Peter, “Please tell me you have apples, bananas and carrots? Or crackers?”

“I do— do you want them sliced, Omega?”

“Yes, thank you,” she agrees, turning back to Peter as Bucky hurries back into the kitchen. She cradles his head, keeping one hand over his eyes to block them from the light, and lets him curl in closer to her as he floats.

“Sweet Omega,” she whispers, pulling him closer, “so good for me. So good, Peter.”

“Here,” Bucky says gently, and offers her a plate with slices of each food. He also hands her a bottle of water.

“Thanks, Bucky. Can you dim the lights? Maybe light candles if you have them?”

“Of course.”

He walks away to lower the lights, and Annie finally takes her hand off of Peter’s eyes. He blinks up at her, adorably confused, and gives her a small smile.

“Apple, Peter,” she says, pressing the apple slice up against his lips. He takes a small bite and she watches as he chews and swallows before offering another.

Once the apple is gone, she holds up the next fruit, “Banana.”

He takes the softer fruit in one bite, and Annie notices his eyes clearing up and he tightens his grip on her arm.

“Last one, Peter. Can you tell me what it is?”

“Carrot, Annie,” he says, smooth and steady, chewing the carrot slice while maintaining eye contact.

After he swallows, she hands him the bottle of water. He drinks it slowly, taking in the room and turns his gaze back to her.

“What— what happened?”

Bucky comes back over to them and looks to Annie for direction. She motions for him to join them in the nest, and they both move over as Bucky climbs in, pulling the other Omegas to nestle into his side.

“What do you remember, Peter?” Annie asks, reaching over to hold his hand on top of Bucky’s chest.

“I… I’m not sure. I remember being in Tony’s arms, and then— did I meet Steve? And someone attacked him? I don’t know Annie, I just remember floating and then coming back up.”

Bucky makes a pained noise, “Stevie reacted to Clint’s challenge, an’ his display caused you’ta drop.”

“Display, what—”

Annie sighs, “Basically, Clint saw you react to the new Alpha. His hindbrain registered that as a threat, and he growled— challenging Steve. I think Steve must have released some type of Alpha pheromones, because my mind went hazy too. After that, both of them were growling and you kneeled for him.”

“For— Steve?”

“Yeah, Pete. He pushed Tony away to get to you and Clint attacked him. That’s when Bucky and Tony took control and split everyone up. Nothing happened to you— to anyone, okay?”

Peter still looks devastated and pulls his hand away, sitting up in the nest, “I can’t believe. I just— submitted like that. I didn’t even do that with Tony, but with a random Alpha—”

“Peter, hey,” Bucky grabs his hand, trying to calm him down, “it’s instincts, darlin’. Steve is really dominant, and in this setting— with everyone on edge and feelin’ horny and stuff— honestly… I’m a little pissed we didn’t plan better. Especially after Clint came by earlier.”

Annie sits up then, drawing Peter closer to her to sit across Bucky’s lap, “He’s right, Pete, none of us have ever dealt with a Dominant Alpha meeting a Submissive Omega before. There’s no way we could have anticipated how Clint was gonna react.”

They sit for a few more minutes before Bucky stands up, “I’m gonna check on Tony and Clint— I think I have a plan for tonight.”

It’s a few more minutes that the two Omegas can sit in silence, eventually moving from the nesting chair over to the couch and preening each others’ hair and makeup. There’s a sound from down the main hallway, and a figure comes barreling towards them.

Annie throws her arm over Peter and yells, “Hey!” to get the person— Clint, it’s freaking Clint— to stop. He falls to his knees, only a foot or two away from them, and crawls the rest of the distance.

“Petey, I’m so sorry. Sweet Omega, I had no idea— I didn’t mean— I’m so so sorry, oh my god, I completely freaked out and ruined your night, please—”

“Beta, come here,” Peter opens up his arms, and Clint falls into them, clawing at Peter’s back and scenting him thoroughly, “it’s okay, C, I understand. I forgive you.”

Annie looks up to find Bucky and Tony standing, bewildered, in the entrance for the living room. She gestures towards the couch next to them, a clear invitation to take a seat, and Tony quickly moves to sit next to Peter and pull him into a hug after Clint releases him.

“So— Annie, Peter,” Bucky starts, shifting on his feet, “I have an idea, and our Betas have agreed to it.”

“What is it, Bucky?” Peter asks, surrounded now by both Tony and Clint, and looking beyond satisfied.

Bucky looks off, down the hallway behind the kitchen, “I think we should go to my nest. The— the three of us. Omegas, I mean. And meet Stevie there.”

“But… why?”

“It’s neutral,” Tony chimes in, “and Peter needs to meet Steve somewhere safe. Bucky’s the only one who can really bring the dumb Alpha out of his head— so the nest seems like the best idea. And a balance of chaperones that are all Omega should help ground everyone present. It’s a good idea.”

Annie stands up, crossing her arms, and looks at the two Betas, “You’re serious? You’re both completely okay with this, and anything that could happen in that room?”

Tony nods, but it’s really Clint’s reaction that she’s waiting for. The Beta also agrees, nodding slowly, “I told you I would try.”

Peter gets to his feet, wiping off his pants, and offers his hand to Annie. He then walks towards Bucky and offers a second hand, “Lead the way, Omega,” he says, grinning at them both.

Bucky gives a tug, and pulls them down the hallway. They pass the kitchen, a few other rooms that are all closed, and turn a corner. On the right side is a set of french doors with curtains— bedroom?— and the left—

“Holy shit.”

“Oh my god.”

Bucky steps away from them to gesture to his nest, the large fixture taking up the majority of the space in a room that could have otherwise been a large library. Or a sunroom.

Two of the walls are windows— they stretch from floor to ceiling and meet at the arched apex of the ceiling where a large, twinkling chandelier cascades down, filling the room with warm light and extending over the white canopy that dominates the center of the space. Twinkle lights surround and flow around the nest— dropping over and under the structure— and a few smaller lamps sit strategically both outside and inside.

The nest itself seems to be slightly elevated— giving the illusion of floating in the center of the room on a simple wooden palette. There are vines and ferns sprinkled around the base, and Annie can see the legs of at least one table that reach underneath the canopy. It’s a cloud. It’s a dream.

There’s definitely someone inside.

“Bucky, this is… amazing.” Annie is still frozen with Peter in a similar state beside her.

“C’mon,” Bucky finally reaches back and snaps his fingers, breaking them out of their trance. He grabs Peter first, kneeling up on the entrance to push back the curtain and let Peter in. Annie ducks down, following Peter through the opening.

Okay, the meeting in the hallway earlier did nothing to prepare her for the giant, hulking Alpha in Bucky’s nest. Even with his head down and neck exposed, Steve is a sight to behold, and by far the most dominant Alpha that Annie has been around in her entire life.

Strong hands grab her from behind, and Bucky settles both of them near the entrance to watch.

Steve has his eyes down still, throat exposed, as Peter inches forward. They all freeze as his scent changes to CuriousInnocentDistressedOmega, and finally Steve looks up.

The sound that comes from Peter is not quite a whimper. He turns his head to the side and makes it again.

An invitation.

Steve moves immediately and folds Peter into his arms. He makes a low reassuring noise, and Peter just melts, a high pitch chirp leaving his lips before his body goes limp. Steve has a tight hold on him, and turns their bodies to settle the tiny Omega underneath him. Almost in sync, they bare their throats and scent each other.

Annie scoots closer to Bucky, letting him wind his arms around her as she rests between his legs, against his chest. He stretches his legs out, and she turns slightly to add her legs to the tangle.

There’s a small sniffling noise, and both Omegas look up. Steve is still holding Peter close— but now they’re eye to eye, and Peter is crying. Annie immediately sits up to separate them, but Bucky holds her back, whispering for her to wait.

They watch as the Alpha and Omega cry together, sharing comfort and tears, as they continue to scent-mark each other.

“Is it uncomfortable to watch your Alpha connect with another Omega like this?” Annie whispers.

Bucky, still behind her, just draws aimless circles on her arm as he responds, “We talked ‘bout it. Doesn’t feel weird— just feels right, ya know?”

She nods, “It definitely looks right.”

And it does. Annie thinks about her mom and dad— how many times she’s envied their bond and the love that they share. Even then, they are a VersAlpha and VersOmega couple and they’ve never been able to build the pack that they want, even though their relationship has been full of love and their pack is strong.

With Steve and Peter… it feels like watching a King and his Queen. It feels like the ocean meeting the shore, like stars in the sky, like pen on paper. The perfect balance, opposites fated by biology, Alpha and Omega.

It feels right.

Annie is crying now, and notices it when Bucky reaches up to wipe one of her tears away. She leans into him, moving her hair and exposing her neck for him to scent. He intertwines their fingers around her waist and she can feel his nose, his mouth, pressed against her sensitive bonding glands.

In an uncharacteristically dominant move, Bucky lifts one of his own wrists for her to scent. She pulls it closer and sniffles at his pulse point, enjoying his warm Milk Chocolate and sweet Orange scent.

“Oranges and Strawberries,” he breathes, tickling her neck.

“Chocolate and Caramel,” she takes one more inhale before turning in his arms, letting the other Omega stare into her eyes.

She licks her lips, “I’ve missed your scent. I can’t believe how compatible… I mean, you know— how good—”

Bucky chuckles, playing with a piece of her hair, “I can’t believe how compatible we are either, darlin’.”

Damn, he’s sweet. Annie can feel her face heat up, but she’s helpless to look into his eyes, steel-blue and darkening by the second. He’s holding her so close, and he’s so warm. She closes her eyes, letting a quiet purr build from deep in her chest.

There’s a soft press on her lips, and she gasps, fluttering her eyes open to see Bucky pulling away from her face with a shy smile.

“Sorry, sorry, I thought—”

“— why’d you stop?” Annie asks, returning his smile.

This time she sits up, pushing into his space, and locks their lips together. His hands clutch tighter around her waist as he tilts her head back, deepening the kiss. His lips move slowly, sweetly, and she keens into the feeling, opening her mouth a little more, inviting him to take.

Instead, he slows the kisses down further, releasing her waist and brushing his fingers over her eyelids, her cheek, and she rests her hands on his chest. He pulls back after one last kiss, lips red and bruised, and a smile lights up his face. She hums her approval, sure her face looks similar, and moves one hand to brush back the hair off his forehead.

“Wow.”

The voice breaks the spell— Peter and Steve are staring at them, mouths agape. Annie pushes Bucky away and he laughs, trying to catch her around the waist before she can escape. Peter giggles, still so cute and tiny in Steve’s monster arms, and Steve can’t help but laugh along.

Okay, so maybe making out in the nest wasn’t a great idea.

She looks back at Bucky— head thrown back in laughter and eyes bright with joy— and honestly she doesn’t care. She feels her heart soften, almost literally, and pulls him in for one more kiss— ignoring the protests coming from the back of the nest. Bucky’s lips taste like heaven.

Once they break apart, Peter crawls over, nudging her to change places with him.

“Real quick, Annie. You haven’t even met him yet.”

“Okay, okay— pushy Omega.”

Peter immediately snuggles into Bucky’s arms, and the two turn to watch as Annie shuffles over to where Steve is still seated.

He gives her a hesitant smile, and offers his hand, “Hi Annie, I’m Steve.”

She looks down at the professional handshake he’s trying to give her and back up to him in disbelief. Boys are idiots. Shaking her head, she crawls the last few inches and sits squarely in his lap, offering her neck, “Hi Steve, I’m Annie,” and she guides his hand back around her waist and his nose into her throat.

There’s a moment where she can tell he takes over, and she lets herself relax in his strong grip. He nuzzles into her neck, scenting her deeply, and she slowly leans down to do the same.

Oh. Oh no.

“Oh, oh my god, Steve—” she mewls— yeah, fucking mewls— into his skin, and is horrified to feel his pulse under her tongue.

Annie, you are fucking licking this man. Get yourself together.

No. He tastes delicious.

And it’s true— Steve tastes like actual Summer Storms and strong, Espresso Lattes, and she cannot keep her mouth off of him.

The other two Omegas are chuckling from the other side of the nest, and she huffs in irritation, trying her absolute hardest to pull away from this Alpha’s body.

“S— sorry, fuck. I can’t believe. You’re just... you’re just so—” get it together, Annie.

“Hey,” Steve thrums, and she looks up into his deep, blue eyes, “I’m flattered— no harm done. For the record... I think you smell delicious, too,” and he winks at her, making a point to squeeze her tighter before they separate.

“Peeeete,” she whines, falling back to look at her packmate, “we’re marrying them, right?”

Peter giggles, “Seems like we might be.”

ProudSatisfiedContentAlpha absolutely saturates the nest, and all three Omegas turn to look, suddenly thirsty for Steve’s Coffee.

Bucky moves first, putting the smaller Omegas behind him and moving quickly to his Alpha. Annie watches as they share a quiet moment, before both men turn towards them with similar fond expressions.

“Sorry, uh— let's go see our Betas, okay?” Steve asks, ushering them back towards the entrance.

Annie and Peter stumble out of the nest, waiting to be led back to the living room. Bucky is careful to turn the lights out and straighten the nest, displaying the care and importance he obviously places in his home. Steve loops his arm around Bucky’s shoulders, pulling him in for a quick kiss, before giving him a playful shove to get them moving down the hallway.

It’s clear the Betas are laughing and enjoying each other’s company as they arrive, and Annie heads quickly to Clint’s side, ruffling his hair and accepting a kiss on the cheek. Steve sits in an unoccupied loveseat, but Bucky doesn’t go to join him. Instead, he and Peter exchange a few words and Bucky sits next to Tony, ducking under his arm.

The room is quiet— only a few whispers between Tony and Bucky— and Peter turns to settle onto Clint’s lap. Annie lets him go, watching as Peter scents— no, scent-marks— him thoroughly, rubbing the combined scent of Alpha and Omegas into his skin. Clint’s breathing picks up and he looks at Peter, confused.

“Omega, what—”

“Hush,” Peter grabs his face, whispering intensely, “you are going to ask that Alpha to scent you, and you’re gonna go sit on his lap. Don’t you dare come back to us until you smell like him, do you hear me?”

Clint looks properly chastised as Peter hops up off his lap, grabs Annie’s hand, and pulls them to sit with Bucky and Tony on the couch.

They watch Clint’s internal crisis as he walks over to Steve’s seat, obviously uncomfortable but oh so stubborn and determined.

He stops in front of Steve, who looks up in question, “Steve.”

“Clint.”

“I need… Can I— can I formally scent you?”

Steve actually looks shocked, “I… yeah, of course, Clint. Whatever you’d like.”

Clint looks back at them— Bucky flashing him two thumbs up— and steels himself, grabbing Steve’s shoulders before climbing onto his lap. Steve raises his hands, obviously not expecting the submissive posture, and looks to their couch for some direction.

Both Bucky and Tony give him a shrug. Helpful.

When Clint settles in, wiggling a few times, Steve bares his throat and lowers his eyes in submission. Every person in the room gasps, and Bucky might even let out a small, hysterical laugh.

Clint doesn’t say a thing. He leans in and gently presses his nose to Steve’s pulse point, audibly inhaling. His body visibly relaxes, and he pulls Steve in to scent him in return.

Annie settles back against Peter, letting the three men fold her into their embrace. The room feels light and heavy at the same time. All six packmates are relaxed— breathing in each others’ scents and eyes closed to the warmth of close bodies. The joy of shared kisses.

Behind her, there are soft sounds of kisses and whispered promises being exchanged. In front of her, her best friend and future Alpha are wrapped in an intimate embrace, crying and clutching at each others’ faces.

There’s a hand on her shoulder, and she turns to face Peter’s half-lidded, giddy expression,

“I love you so much, Annie.”

He leans down— kissing her head, her eyelids, and her nose— and holds her close as he presses a tender kiss onto her lips. Both of their eyes close, and they smile into each others’ mouths. Peter gives a small nip to her bottom lip as both of them break apart laughing.

They look up and see Steve and Clint, finally standing and making their way to the couch. Annie opens up her arms to catch Clint as he dives forward, and all of them groan as he gets comfortable in their arms.

Annie glances up, watching Steve. The Alpha looks so proud and happy— and even as Bucky and Tony start to whine about being hungry, it seems as though the only thing Steve wants is to make his pack happy.

And that’s something Annie can get on board with.

[scullydubois]

Only the Light Ch. 17

17/? | AU where Melissa moves in with Scully after Scully’s abduction | angst, msr slow-burn, occasional fluff | currently: Nisei adjacent | T | 5.7k | previous chapters | read on ao3 | tagging: @today-in-fic <3

Scully meets the Mufon women, who clue her into their shared fate; Mulder accompanies Scully to the OB-GYN after her car breaks down; A mysterious voicemail appears on Scully's machine.

---------------------

The murder of Mulder’s father--and attempted murders of the agents themselves--went the way of many X-Files, becoming another everlasting thorn in their sides. Skinner wasn’t happy with them, but he pitied them, so it was a two-week paper pusher assignment and then they were back at it. Lightning strikes, allusions to immortality from a mortal man, too many prisons and too much death; the calendar advanced, time marched on, and they saw it all but it couldn’t touch them. Wouldn’t, more like. Emotionally stunted, that’s what they are. Holding onto too much pain to process any.

And then comes Mulder’s $29.95 tape and its path to Allentown; a Japanese diplomat, a dead man, and a list of Mufon members wait in its wake. All of which lead Scully to Betsy Hagopian’s doorstep.

These women--whom she has never seen before, nor could not pick from any crowd--know her. They swear. She is one of them, they say, as if that’s supposed to snap everything into perspective. As if the semblance of belonging somewhere will make her spill her guts. But no; she wants to be nothing but herself, and sometimes not even that.

Then there are dozens of cars outside and women surround her, speaking of a place she didn’t know she knew until they said it. A blank slate flashes in her mind; an echo from some past life. She doesn’t believe in reincarnation, so how can that be?

Then the women--these strange women--speak of men & mysterious tests, and a drill sears Scully’s brain, and she’s coming apart, and is this annihilation or healing?

These images--she can hardly call them memories--expand until she’s living inside them. She is doubled, the victim and the spectator. She sees herself on a medical table, a tube spiraling from her belly button. It’s nonsensical, there’s no procedure of the sort. And then, before her unblinking eyes, her stomach grows. Inflated like a balloon. Her warped form...it looks pregnant, and her old fear comes back as a bitter taste in her mouth. Surely this is something seen in a dream, impossible to be reflected in any reality.

The rattle of metal pulls her back to the present. Every woman standing before her holds a capsule containing a microchip, barely perceptible to the eye. Marked...they have been marked. She has too, they say. They have all the scar, and it’s already been established that she is one of them.

Scully’s swept up by the crowd and taken to Betsy Hagopian at Allentown Medical Center. She’s unsure at this point whether she’s investigating the murder case or some vastly larger conspiracy. Or if those are even distinguishable.

She watches as the nurse slides Betsy into the MRI machine, wonders how Betsy feels about them being there as she disappears from view. Scully once thought of making oncology her specialty, back when she was bright-eyed and believed she could save the world. That path would have been paved with pain, sure, but there would be victory, and above all, hope. Her current job fails to put her in such close contact with miracles.

We’re all dying because of what they do to us, Penny Northern says. And how ironic it is, Scully thinks. She and Mulder want the truth--the proof--of some atrocity greater than themselves, and they may have it...once she’s packed into a coffin. How’s that saying go? Be careful what you wish for…

------------------------

The scar at the base of her neck had never stood out to Scully. She can’t see it, and her hair covers it anyway. She had felt it in the shower once, shortly after her return, but she wrote it off as a bug bite. No one had ever commented on it until Penny Northern and the Mufon women; not Missy, not Mulder, not her mother…

Missy had noticed it during one of their face-mask nights in the weeks after the return, but she chose not to say anything, figuring it wasn’t worth adding to her sister’s worry. If she had seen it again recently--known that it hadn’t gone away--she would have said something.

Mulder...well, he never noticed it, and holy shit, he would have given anything for a situation where he could have. Scully never wears her hair up, he’ll blame it on that though it's fruitless. Really, it’s on him. He has a mental map of the places he’s touched her--and the places he won’t. Her neck is on neither one. He hasn’t gotten there yet.

Margaret Scully never saw it, and frankly, she would have thought it was something inappropriate to mention and wished her daughter had worn a turtleneck that day. What else can be said about that?

Thus, as autumn breaks over Washington, the agents crowd into a Bureau lab with Pendrell (or Agent Nerd, as Mulder prefers to call him) to address the intruder put into Scully’s body. Scully’s calm, cool, and collected, but Mulder winces as Pendrell’s tweezers pierce her skin. He’s never had the guts (nor the patience) for the medical profession.

“Yep, I’ve got something,” Pendrell remarks, dropping it into a petri dish. Mulder inches closer to get a good look at the object, and sure enough, it’s a microchip. He’s met with the urge to pocket it and run so that his partner would never have to see it.

Instead, Pendrell presents the dish to Scully. “It looks like a computer chip to me,” he tells her. “Something manufactured.”

Scully squeezes the object between her thumb and forefinger. She looks to Mulder. “This must be what made the metal detector go off in Santa Fe.”

He clears his throat. “Yeah, I remember.” The handsy men at airport security still make his blood boil.

As Scully’s eyes meet Pendrell’s, he feels like he’s staring directly into a spotlight. And he’s not used to having the spotlight on him. “So it’s man-made, you believe?” she asks, as in need of an answer from him as she ever will be.

He blushes. “Well, I don’t know of manufacturing plants on any other planet, but it does look pretty technologically advanced.” He takes the dish over to a microscope and peers through. “I can’t say I’ve seen something of this complexity before.”

Pendrell moves aside so Scully can take a look. She’s not accustomed to using this sort of magnification for anything other than microbes, but the intricacy of the wiring speaks for itself. Loops upon loops upon loops of electric current, all contained in a space smaller than a pea.

She looks up. “It’s like it was storing something…” The idea of her thoughts being catalogued by some malevolent stranger is too terrifying to voice. Both men’s mind’s land on it without any prompting.

Mulder lays a hand on the small of her back and steers her away from the microscope. “We’ll get this all taken care of, okay?” he murmurs. “Pendrell will pinpoint the manufacturer, then we can track them down and help Betsy Hagopian and all those women.” He intentionally leaves out mention of Scully herself. She hates being helpless, he won’t frame her as such.

“Okay,” she squeaks out, and Mulder feels her shiver beneath her buttoned blazer.

Having received his command from Agent Mulder, Pendrell watches him usher Agent Scully out of the lab with complete control over the situation. It’s as if Agent Mulder knows what he’s doing, comforting Agent Scully with such composure. And right in front of Pendrell, too! Pendrell kicks himself for...well, being himself.

-------------------------

At ten to four, Scully grabs her purse and unclips her key ring as quietly as possible. Mulder’s in the midst of typing up a report about the Japanese diplomat who sold him the $29.95 tape, and she’d hate to ruin his flow. How alarmed Skinner would be if a Fox Mulder field report didn’t read like a Whitman poem! He’d probably assume the bounty hunter got to his agent.

She straightens her blazer and swings the purse over her shoulder. No need for a coat yet, her usual work attire combats the mid-October chill just fine. As she edges toward the door, the guilt of leaving Mulder without a goodbye stops her in her tracks. He knows about her appointment--knows she has to leave early--but still...it feels wrong to walk out without a word.

Hand against the doorframe, Scully tosses her hair over her shoulder. Her partner types at his desk with the ferocity of a teenage boy playing a video game. He even looks like one, with those wiry glasses. She can’t help but smile...these are the ordinary moments she will miss one day.

Setting her lips in a line, she pipes up--”I’ve gotta go, Mulder. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He’s instantly snapped from his trance. “Whoa whoa whoa.” He lays his glasses beside the computer, rubs the red mark on his nose. “Let me walk you down.”

“That’s not necessary,” Scully assures, one kitten heel out the door. “I can navigate the parking garage on my own.”

Mulder pops up from his chair, rounds his desk. “Well, the parking garage, yeah. But haven’t you heard that the Hoover Building is unaccustomed to beautiful women roaming its halls? Who knows what might happen if I send you up there by yourself.”

Scully gives him the unamused smirk he’s fishing for, tries to ignore the way his sleeves cuff over his elbow. “I only have to go through the lobby. I think I can hold any admirers off for those twenty steps.”

“You’re right, I should have faith in you.” He ruffles a hand through his hair. “At least let me escort you to the elevator.”

“If you must.” Scully turns sideways.

He slides past her, winking as he does. It’s infuriating, really, how smooth he can be when he wants to.

Scully follows him down the hallway, wondering if she’s finally grown into the giddy teenager her mother feared she would be. He hits the up button for her, then clasps his hands together--the only time he’s ever been the epitome of patience.

“I hate to pull you away from your next masterpiece for Skinner,” Scully teases, trying to break his gentlemanly bit.

“Oh, an artist knows no timetable,” he responds, barely taking his eyes off the elevator door. He taps his foot...they always joke that the FBI takes an elevator tax out of their paychecks for making it go all the way to the basement.

Scully looks at the floor. A moment ago, she felt like the object of Mulder’s affections. Now, she’s shut out again.

At the sound of the doors gliding open, she steps in. No need to wait for passengers to disembark; nobody comes down here. She hits the first floor button, offers Mulder a weak smile. “See you--”

He sticks his hand out as the doors begin to close and ducks into the space, taking his place beside her. She should have known...his goofy grin confirms that he’s been planning this all along. They begin their brief ascent to the next floor.

“You know, I’m having deja vu, but I’m gonna say this anyway,” Scully starts. “You’re crazy, Mulder.”

“And I’m sure I’ve said this before Scully, but it wouldn’t hurt to hear it again--thank you,” he replies.

Scully rolls her eyes, but god, this is much more fun than being alone. The elevator banks on the landing, and she looks to her partner as the doors open onto the lobby. “Did you lose your faith in me, or did you never have it in the first place?” she asks, taking extra long strides to keep up with him as they make their way toward the parking garage.

“What, about the whole holding off your admirers thing?”

Scully nods.

“I figured back-up wouldn’t hurt.” He slips his hands in his pockets, giving himself an air of pretension. As Scully watches him, she gets the notion that it’s all carefully calculated. It makes her feel both powerful and annoyed. She is the damsel, and he is framing himself as prince charming, though she is not in distress.

They make it to the parking garage and take another elevator up to Scully’s level. “Skinner’s gonna want that report before you leave tonight, you know,” Scully tells him, surprised that he has followed this far.

“I’ll burn the midnight oil if I have to,” he replies casually. And she can’t argue with that, cause she knows he will.

While he looks for her car, she takes a long glance at his face. He spies her sedan, and they set off in that direction.

“You don’t have to baby me,” she reminds him, almost apologetic. “I made it through med school and Quantico. If anyone is capable of--”

“It’s not about whether you’re capable, Scully. You are. But you should never have had to go through all that in the first place. It’s not fair, what you’ve dealt with.”

“Life’s not--”

“--fair. Yeah, I know, that’s why I don’t believe in God,” Mulder deadpans.

Scully gives him the infamous look. He shrugs. “It’s the truth!”

They make it to her car, and Scully lays a hand on the driver’s door. “Alright, Mulder. It looks like we’ve both learned something about each other. Very productive conversation.”

“Good thing I came all the way down here, huh.” He flashes a smile that would disarm a scorpion. Scully feels it in her core. She tightens her grip on the door, pulling it open.

“Bye, Mulder,” she prods, sliding into the driver’s seat.

He salutes her. “Bye-bye.”

He stays at the front of her parking spot as she cranks--or rather, tries to crank--her car. The engine gurgles at her in protest. One twist, two twists, three twists, nothing. She pulls the key out of the ignition and opens the door.

“It won’t start...battery’s dead, I think.”

Mulder leans against her door. “Let me try.”

Scully shuffles herself into the passenger’s seat and he settles in, finding himself squished against the steering wheel with her seat settings. He laughs and jams the key into place. The engine won’t give under his hand either.

He rests his elbow on the console and stares at his partner. Her eyes darken. “I don’t have jumper cables, do you?”

“I’m not a jumper cable man, no,” he mutters.

Scully knocks her head against the back of her seat, covers her face with her hands. “My appointment’s at 4:30. I got the latest one of the day…”

“Okay, okay, no problem.” Mulder taps her shoulder. “I’ll take you.”

She uncovers her face. “But what about the report…?”

“You really think Skinner’s gonna be surprised by another late report?”

She bites her lip. “Fine, fine. It’s off 6th Street, I’ll tell you how to get there.”

“And we can pick up jumper cables on the way back,” Mulder adds.

“Perfect.”

They hop out of the car and head for Mulder’s. Scully watches him out of the corner of her eye--he’s striding along, completely unbothered by this inconvenience. She is struck with the notion that he is a better person than her in some crucial ways.

“Do you have your keys?” she pipes up, always bringing reality into the picture.

He taps his pocket. “Right here.”

“You’re saving my ass, Mulder--thank you.”

“I was the ass hero of Oxford. I’m glad to be of service.”

Scully shakes her head, her smile eclipsing a laugh.  “Please don’t ever tell me the story behind that, ” she giggles.

“Your loss.”

And as she looks over at him in the dingy parking garage, she knows that this is exactly where she’s meant to be.

------------------------------

He wasn’t planning to go in with her--he expected that she’d make a fuss about it if he asked, and it wasn’t his business anyway. He’s surprised, then, when he pulls into a spot at the clinic and she raises an eyebrow when he doesn't turn the engine off.

“Are you coming?” she asks, one leg sticking out of the car.

“Y-you want me to go with you?” he stutters.

Scully shrinks back. “Were you planning on going back to the office? I’m not sure how long the appointment will take, but I hate to make you drive all over the place.”

“No, I was just gonna chill in here. I thought you wouldn’t want me…”

“Oh.” Scully’s out of the car now, her purse swung over her shoulder. “Well, it’s just an ultrasound, so you can come if you want. I bet you’ve never been to an OB-GYN before…”

Mulder shakes his head. “Never had the pleasure. You know I’m all for new experiences, though.”

“Come on, then.” She slams the door closed and starts walking toward the building, playing hard to get in her own little way.

Mulder cuts the engine, locks up the car, and jogs after her. Not a usual occurrence, but he likes the role-reversal.

“So is there anything I should know,” he pants as he catches up with her, “before I walk in? Is there some kind of universal girl code that governs these places?”

“The only naked women you’re about to see are in anatomical diagrams, if that’s what you’re referring to.”

“Oh, so it’s not a communal kinda thing?”

“Jesus, Mulder. That’s a male fantasy if I’ve ever heard one.”

“Hey, men have urinals and locker rooms, it’s only fair that women have some arena for comparison too,” he attests.

Continuing the role-reversal, Scully holds the door for him. “Clearly, we have different priorities,” she says as he strides through. He chuckles at her as he enters, feeling no insecurity about standing out. He’s not the lone man in the waiting room, but he is the only one without a visibly pregnant wife.

He looks around while Scully checks in. The room, he feels, is misleadingly similar to any other doctor’s office. Daytime housewife fodder on TV, issues of magazines that are barely from this decade, and posters preaching about the flu shot...some unsuspecting man might walk in here because he stubbed his toe and walk out with images in his brain that’ll haunt him for the rest of his life.

He takes a seat at the far edge of the room, Scully joining him a moment later with a clipboard.

He points at the entry to the back--“I feel like they should have a sign on that door that says ‘beware: health class flashbacks ahead. And not the good ones.’”

“If you’re a woman, it’s no flashback,” she tells him, focused on filling out the forms. “It’s just what you deal with everyday.”

“Okay, but imagine men had to go to a place like this, and you had to go back there.”

She looks up. “Mulder, you know I do autopsies on dead bodies, right?” Then, with a smirk--”Besides, I’ve never known you to be squeamish about naked women.”

“Right, but this is like...I’m used to looking at the completed painting, and now I’m seeing the paint-by-number. Not so pretty.”

“Maybe you should go sit in the car…” Scully says with a hint of a tease.  

“I digress.” He glances absentmindedly at what she’s writing, then looks away.

Scully notices and meets his eye. “You know what I’m here for, right?”

Without intending to, he read it off her paper. “Follicle ultrasound?”

“Yes, but do you know why? ”

Mulder holds his mouth open like he’ll catch an answer that way. “Uh…” he starts, classic caught-off guard college student.

Scully jots the last marks on her forms. “To check my egg reserve and see if anything’s changed since the last time. To see if there’s any possibility of me having a biological child, essentially.”

“Huh,” Mulder hums dumbly. Way to make an asshole of himself, cracking jokes at a time like this. He wishes it were socially acceptable to walk around with tape over your mouth.

“I’m sorry, Scully. I didn’t realize the situation was so dire.”

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

It’s funny she says that, because at that exact moment Mulder is thinking about how it is his fault, and where’s the nearest bridge? He realizes then, too, that maybe she wants him there so she’s not alone for whatever the results say, and boy, this is more than he bargained for when he offered to drive her.

He turns to her, his glance far shyer than usual. “So this is the follow-up to your first ultrasound?”

Scully nods. “It’s been almost a year.”

“But you…” he tries to arrange the words in as courteous a manner as possible. “Are you still premenopausal?”

Scully crosses one leg over the other. She’s pleasantly surprised that he cares about this. “No, I’m on birth control to regulate my cycles. But that doesn’t matter if I don’t have enough eggs left for potential fertilization. Fertility and menstruation are not necessarily linked.”

“But there’s an upside to that, right? Aren’t there health risks with early menopause?”

“Yep.”

Mulder’s not sure whether she’s answering his first question or his second one. He lets it be, and good thing, because a nurse calls Scully’s name moments later. He follows her into the back like an eager to please puppy, playing it cool until the nurse pipes up.

“Mr. & Mrs. Scully, how are you?”

“Not married ,” Scully clarifies, amused.

“Oh,” the nurse takes a stray glance at her clipboard. “I’m sorry.” She gestures toward Mulder. “You are…?”

“Fox Mulder. I’m her partner.”

“Oh, okay. I see. Gender-neutral language, very inclusive.”

“He’s my FBI partner,” Scully grumbles, giving Mulder a punch in the bicep for his purposeful vagueness. “I work at the Bureau.”

“Ah. Makes sense.” The nurse waves them into an exam room then closes the door behind herself. As she reads over Scully’s chart, Mulder’s presence makes less and less sense to her, and she addresses her patient with pitched confusion in her voice.

“So you are here for a follow-up antral follicle count...?”

“Yes ma’am.”

The nurse reads from the chart. “Your first one was roughly eleven months ago and indicated low fertility. Five follicles were counted.”

Scully nods.

“But since then, you’ve started hormonal birth control and now have stable menstrual cycles, is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“Alright.” The nurse makes note of this, then looks to Scully. “If you could come with me for a moment, we’re gonna get your weight, and then Dr. Zapolsky will be right in for the ultrasound.”

Alone in the strange room, Mulder’s met with fascination, not fear. He’s never seen an exam chair with stirrups in real life, and it makes him chuckle, reminiscent of birth scenes in slapstick comedies. On the counter is a 3D model of the uterus, which is pretty cool if he’s being honest. Remove the labels and it’s a modern art piece...and he means that with all due respect. His reproductive system would not make a nice decoration, that’s for sure.

He’s reading a poster about each trimester of pregnancy when Scully and the nurse come back in. Did you know that babies can be frightened by loud noises while they’re still in the womb? he wants to ask, but Scully knows everything, so she probably already knows that.

Scully settles into the exam chair as best she can. She locks eyes with Mulder, and he winks at her--again. It puts a genuine smile on her face, which has never happened in this room. The nurse exits quietly, but they are still there, and so is the smile.

They don’t speak at first. Silence is good when it’s comfortable, they have learned, and it’s always comfortable for them. Until Mulder begins to worry that Scully’s head might be spinning with dark thoughts, and he can’t have that. He thumbs toward the poster. “Did you know that loud noises can frighten babies through the womb?”

Scully’s gaze falls upon him, warm and light. “I’ve always thought that was just an old wife’s tale. I never saw it demonstrated during my obstetrics rotation.”

“Well, it’s on the poster. It’s gotta be true,” he wisecracks.

The door opens, and the majestic Dr. Zapolsky saunters in.

“Let’s ask Dr. Zapolsky,” Scully suggests.

“What’s that?” The doctor rolls the ultrasound machine to the center of the room.

“We were wondering if it’s true that babies in the womb can spook at loud noises,” Scully explains.

“It’s on the poster,” Mulder adds.

“Oh! Yes! But not until around 28 weeks.” Dr. Zapolsky sits down on her stool. “You never saw that during your rotations?”

Scully shakes her head.

“It presents as a kick, and as long as the exposure to the noise is not continuous, it’s harmless.”

“Good to know...I guess,” Scully finishes, wondering why Mulder fixated on that of all things.

Dr. Zapolsky scoots toward her patient. “How are you doing, Dana?”

Scully musters a smile. “I’m okay. Much better than I was last year at this time.”

“And who is your guest…?” she asks, swerving toward Mulder.

“Mulder, my partner at the Bureau. My car went dead, so he had to drive me.”

“Ah! Hello Mulder.”

Mulder nods. “Nice to meet you.”

“I see you’ve gained some weight since your last visit,” Dr. Zapolsky tells Scully. “That’s a good thing--fueling your body allows it to put energy toward ovarian function.”

Scully tries to accept this as a compliment, though she’s been conditioned not to view it as one.

The doctor continues. “And you’re doing well on your birth control? Any problems with it?”

“Nope, everything’s working out.”

“Wonderful.” Zapolsky clasps her hands together. “Looks like we’re all set for the ultrasound. Go ahead and lie back.”

Scully does so.

“I’ll need you to pull your waistband and underwear down. Let me get you a sheet for cover.” She slides over to the cabinets and pulls out a disposable blue blanket, which she drapes over Scully’s bent knees.

Mulder turns his head away as Scully shimmies off her skirt of choice--black, pencil, from the clearance rack at J. Crew, per usual.  Not that he’d be able to see anything since she already has cover, but he’s not risking any disrespect. Scully’s not paying attention to him, and it’s a testament to the trust they have developed.

Dr. Zapolsky grabs the ultrasound wand and takes it under the sheet, using the image on the monitor to guide it into place. “Everything feel alright?” she asks Scully, who nods.

The three occupants focus intently on the screen; two of them have a clear sense of what they’re looking for, and one has no idea. A few circles appear on the monitor, narrowly standing out from the background.

“There they are, right?” Scully inquires with tension in her voice.

Dr. Zapolsky nods. “Those are your follicles. What do you notice?”

Scully’s eyes search the screen. “There’s not many.”

“I’m afraid not. Six. One more than last time, but not the improvement you would need.” Dr. Zapolsky frowns. “Two low antral follicle counts qualifies you for a diagnosis of primary ovarian insufficiency. There’s no clear treatment plan, it simply functions as a label for your condition.”

Scully sits with this numbness as her doctor removes the ultrasound wand and cleans up. She wants to look at Mulder, read his face, but he’s over her shoulder and she can’t bend that way just yet. She takes a breath and pulls her skirt back on.

“So there’s no hope, then?” Her voice shakes. “Of carrying a child with one of my own eggs?”

The doctor finishes washing her hands and turns back toward her patient. “There’s a five to ten percent conception rate for women with POI. If you’re dead-set on it, IVF using an egg donor is your best option. Personally, I don’t recommend it at those odds. It’s very expensive and can take quite a physical toll.” She pats her patient’s hand. “I’m so sorry, Dana.”

With tears threatening to break her composure, Scully cranes her neck toward Mulder. He’s her escape hatch, but he’s not doing much better. His hands are squeezed into fists, his eyes dark. “I’m sorry, Scully,” he murmurs. “You don’t deserve this.”

And even if he’s right it doesn’t make any difference, because this is what she’s gotten, and this is what she must deal with. Gravity’s full brunt bears down on her body and spirit, and she wonders once again if God intends her for heaven or for hell.

-------------------------

The sun is sinking below the horizon by the time Scully sets her keys on her front table. If she wasn’t exhausted before, she is after buying jumper cables and using Mulder’s car to start hers. She hears clanging pots and pans and can only hope it’s her sister home from the lunch shift.

Forcing her tired body into the kitchen, Scully finds Melissa at the stove. The smell of marinara sauce wafts through the air.

Missy looks away from the boiling pasta she’s stirring. “Hello jellybean!” Neither one of them knows where the new nickname came from, but neither one is against it either.

“Hey Missy,” Scully says as she plops into a dining chair. She slides off her heels and stretches her toes.

“How was your day?”

“Alright,” Scully sighs. “Paperwork and then my ultrasound appointment, but my battery died so Mulder had to take me.”

“Oh my goodness!” Missy turns the heat down on the stove and strides over to her sister. “I forgot that was today...how was it?”

Scully looks up through her lashes. “Not good, Missy.”

“No?” Missy slides into the adjacent chair. “Were your counts still low?”

Scully nods, picks a piece of lint off her skirt. “Too low. Doc says I have primary ovarian insufficiency. Basically, it’s highly unlikely I’ll be able to have a child with my own egg.”

“God…” Missy sandwiches one of her sister’s hands between both of hers. “I’m so sorry. That’s not what you wanted to hear, I know.”

Across the way, the boiling water sings a siren song, and Missy reluctantly makes her way back toward it. “You’ll have to accept my condolences in the form of food cause I’m too far into this to stop now.”

“Oh, I will.” She’d be having a salad or...well, probably nothing, if Missy wasn’t here. Scully leans back, examines the ceiling, then rubs her eyes. “Did you know that babies can spook at loud noises through the womb? At 28 weeks, at least.”

“No, I didn’t,” Missy answers with gusto, happy to distract her sister.

“Mulder read it on some poster, and I didn’t think it was true, but it turns out it is,” Scully rambles.

“Mulder read it...?” Missy echoes. “He went in with you?”

“Uh-huh.” Scully’s immune to the usual implications of her sister’s curiosity. She’s had too much of a day to argue that Mulder isn’t as integral a part of her life as he is. “It was nice...I was happy not to be alone.”

“I’m sure,” Missy says, pouring the ravioli into a colander. “Mulder’s a good guy.”

“Mm-hm.” Scully chews the inside of her cheek. She can’t discern whether she’s failing to repress a feeling or experiencing one anew, but it’s in that ballpark.

Having put the pasta in a serving bowl, Missy spoons sauce over it like she’s auditioning for a cooking show. “There was an interesting voicemail on the machine when I got in,” she begins.

“Yeah? A telemarketer? Scammer?”

“I don’t think so. It’s odd, but it sounds quite urgent.”

Missy hits a button on the answering machine. A gruff voice fills the room. “Hello, this is Agent Feniston from the California Bureau of Investigation looking for a Ms. Scully. I am contacting you on behalf of the California Department of Social Services foster care system. Please get back to me as soon as possible at 619-555-1334. Thank you.”

It does sound legitimate, Scully can’t argue with that. She raises an eyebrow at her sister. “You were in California for a while, weren’t you?”

Missy pops a ravioli into her mouth, wipes some wandering sauce off her lip. “The Bay area, mostly,” she says between bites. “The 619 area code is--”

“San Diego. I remember, that’s what our number started with when we lived by the shipyard.”

Missy nods. “I know I’m considered the free spirit in this family, but no child of mine is running wild in California. Let’s clear that up right now,” she chuckles.

“I mean, we don’t have any details,” Scully says. “They probably just need you to testify whether some friend of yours is stable enough to resume custody of their child.”

“Does that sound like something that would warrant a call from the Bureau of Investigation? ” Missy challenges, scooping a hefty portion of pasta into a bowl and handing it to her sister.

Scully takes it and grabs a fork. “If they couldn’t find any other way to contact you.”

Missy stops, looks at her sister with a pointed glare.

“What?” Scully shrugs.

“Darling,” Missy continues, “no one I knew in California has this number, nor any way to determine that I’m living with you.”

Scully lifts the fork to her mouth, freezing before it makes it there. “You think the call is for me?”

“I think it’s a possibility,” she says, taking a seat across from her sister.

Scully scoffs. “I haven’t been to California in ages. There was a case in Marin County, but it’s been two years now.”

“That’s funny,” Missy muses. “I was living there then.”

“Can we stay on topic, please?” Scully tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. “I’m not fond of having a random call from the California foster system on my answering machine.”

“Then call Agent Feniston back, and it won’t be random anymore.” Missy gets up, glances at the clock, and grabs the phone off its receiver. “It’s only 3:30 in Californiaaaaa,” she sing-songs, dangling it in front of her sister.

Scully pouts, but lets the weight of the phone rest in her hand. “Can you play the voicemail again? I need the number…”

Feniston addresses them for a second time, and Scully taps the keypad in concert with his directions: 619-555-1334.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Three [Pt. 1]

Part Eighty-Three [Pt. 2]

A/N: There's 2 parts to this chapter because the post was way long. Part Eighty-Four will be posted tomorrow night. I love yall and hope you enjoy, goodnight!!

Words: 5.7k

Warnings: Explicit language, drug abuse, violence, verbal abuse, domestic abuse, explicit sexual situations

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"The ambulance is on the way." I hear someone say over the noise of the running water and the blood throbbing in my ears from my mind racing. 

My heart feels like it's about to burst, my lungs feel flat, like they don't have the muscle to expand and let me catch my breath. 

Duff's t-shirt that I'm wearing is soaked with freezing cold water, Nikki's grayish-yellow skin now blue… 

We've been trying to get him to wake up. 

Slash is passed out, being knocked out by his girlfriend, Sally, once he realized what was happening and had a drunk meltdown. 

Me, Sally, Duff and Steven get Nikki from the cold shower and get him back in the living room floor, tearing at his shirt and the buttons fly off. 

"Holy shit." Steven says just under his breath as I go to start cpr but I'm stopping when my hands hit something like ice.

I quickly see what it is and I nearly fall back. 

It's my crucifix that I thought I had lost when I left it in Duff's hotel room a couple months ago…

TWELVE HOURS AGO

"Nikki's getting home later than the rest of the guys." Karen informs me as I finish wiping down the kitchen counter. 

"Why?" I ask and she sighs. 

"He told me he missed the flight." 

"Of course he did." I mumble and she sighs. 

"Well, after that stunt he pulled, I'm surprised he's even getting to come home." She states and I furrow my brows. 

"What stunt?"

"Doc didn't tell you?" 

"No?"

"...Nikki and the guys were on a bullet train and something riled Nikki up and he threw a bottle of Jack at a window and it busted and got all over the passengers, then when they got stopped and the cops got ahold of him, Tommy punched one of them so they'd take him, too." She explains. 

Am I surprised, no. Shocked, no. Disappointed, no. Annoyed? Yes. 

"They are so freaking embarrassing." I sneer to myself.

"Oh, the worst part is what he told the police chief, in Doc's words, 'if my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?'" 

I widen my eyes, blinking slowly. 

"He said the man couldn't understand exactly what he said so the translator told him Nikki said he was very sorry and they got off." She adds.

"Of course they did." 

She just looks at me for a moment before letting out a soft breath. 

"Vivian, do you think...even the slightest chance you two can--"

"--If there was a chance, I would've gone to Japan with them." I tell her.

She's quiet. 

"I need to feed the dog." I say to her, dismissively, and as if on cue, Whisky is darting in here. "Hey, baby!" I pipe, excitedly, still feeling Karen's gaze on me before she steps out of the kitchen. "Mommy's trying not to kill Daddy." I tell him, pouring his food in his bowl. "She's really trying."

A couple hours later, I'm putting makeup on to go meet Duff when the phone starts ringing. 

"Hello?" I answer it in the bedroom, sitting on the bed. 

"Hey, beautiful, it's Robbin." I hear from the other side and I roll my eyes, chuckling. 

"Hey, beautiful, what's up?" I reply in the same tone. 

"Nothin'." He replies. "I was wondering if your daddy was home, yet?" He asks in reference to Nikki and I scoff. 

"My father is at home with my mother, probably praying or reading the Bible or secretly listening to The Cult records in the garage." I reply. 

"You know who I'm talking about, c'mon." He laughs. 

"No, Robbin, your boyfriend isn't home yet." I tell him. 

"Do you know when he will be?"

"Not too long from now, probably."

"Well, when he gets in, tell him to gimme a call." 

"I might not be here but I'll leave a note." 

"Where you going?" He asks. 

"Out."

"With who?" 

"Robbin."

"Why don't you ever come see me anymore? I haven't hung out with you in months." 

"Because I don't party and that's all you like to do at night." 

"Well, bring your ass with Sixx when he comes tonight."

"Robbin--"

"--Please, for me?" 

"I'll think about it, alright?" 

"Okay, just don't forget to get him to call me." He reminds me and I nod.

"I will."

"See you later...maybe." 

"Later."

We hang up and I groan and fall back on the bed, looking at myself in the mirrored ceiling, before calling Duff to postpone our plans by a couple hours so I can go hangout with Nikki and Robbin.

Once I'm dressed, I fall back on the bed, waiting for Nikki to get in…

I turn over on my stomach and reach for the little radio clock on his side of the bed, my finger pulling the switch on. 

Dopey Christmas music filters through the room and I turn it back off, sighing. 

Whisky jumps up on the bed with me and I sit up so he doesn't lick my makeup off, giggling at his happy-go-lucky demeanor, but something's off in his eyes. 

"He'll be back tonight, baby." I promise, scratching at his chin. "I miss him, too, you know? I know that's hard to believe but I do." I admit to him and he blinks at me. "And if you tell anybody, I won't give you table scraps anymore." I add, the corners of my mouth tugging. 

I kiss his head, leaving a smudge of lipstick and I wince, forgetting I even had the stuff on. 

"Oops." I go to the bathroom and get a wet washcloth, srubbing it off his fur as best as a I can. 

That's when I hear the door open and slam, and I exhale, standing up, tossing the cloth aside and peeking my head out of the bedroom door to see if it's Karen or Nikki. 

"Hey," I say to him and he looks at me. 

He looks like absolute hell. 

"You can stop looking at me like that." He mumbles and I try to speak but can't find the words. 

"Sorry." I finally get it out and he goes to the bathroom and shuts the door. 

I hear the shower start and I thank God because he smells horrendous. 

I light a few scented candles while he's in there, trying to clear out the smell. 

Then I try to search his suitcase for drugs, to no avail. 

"I threw them out before I got to the airport." He says and I freeze up, sighing when he reaches past me and grabs the suitcase, tugging it to the floor before grabbing at my waist, making me turn around to face him. 

I just try to keep my expression neutral, not knowing if he's in a mood or not. 

"You smell better." I tell him to avoid an awkward silence as we're uncomfortably close. 

"Yeah, so do you." He replies and I roll my eyes, about to move out of his grasp. "Wait, wait, no, no, c'mere." He grabs at me tighter, holding me still, chuckling boyishly and I give a sharp breath. 

"You're high," I state, trying to nudge him away from me to give me some space. 

"Hey, I'm being nice." His expression shifts, eyes cutting at me, mouth snarling. 

"Nikki--"

"--No, when I'm pissed you get bitchy and when I'm in a good mood you get bitchy. You're just a fucking bitch. Always have been. Always will be." He snatches himself away, kicking the suitcase out of his way. 

"I'd rather be a bitch than a junkie." I reply as he goes to the bathroom and he's turning around in milliseconds. 

"Fuck you!" He shouts, grabbing my jaw, forcing my back down to the mattress, "fuck you, you condescending, manipulative, evil little witch!" He barks in my face and I keep myself as calm as I can, not wanting to make it worse. 

I shouldn't have even called him a junkie to begin with. 

I knew how he'd react. 

"Don't you ever call me that again, Vivian, do you fucking understand me?! I'm tired of it! I'm tired of your shit and your endless whining when I started shooting up because of you in the first fucking place and I keep shooting up just to escape from the reality that I'm fucking married to a twisted, sick, sneaky cunt like you!" 

My eyes water, a lump in my throat…

"Then divorce me." I let out weakly, my voice cracking. "If I'm so awful then just leave me, Nikki." 

He looks at me, tears in his own eyes, before he gets off of me and goes to the bathroom to finish getting ready. 

NIKKI

I thought couldn't do that. Even when I was miserable with her, I was in love with her. That's contradictory to how I acted and treated her but it wasn't necessarily an endless doting, constant lovey-dovey, in love, thing. It was a poisonous, constant merry-go-round and anytime I would try to get off she'd pull me on again without even realizing it. She'd wear a hot dress, or laugh, or smile, or do something for me, or just say 'Nikki', and fuck, I'd be on her again. The Duff thing wasn't even on my mind that night. I got home, saw she was there, went inside and saw her and it took everything in me not to fall to my fucking knees...only for her to call me a junkie. I shouldn't have grabbed her like that, but at that point I was tired of the going around and around, spinning, dizzy, exhausted from puking...she wouldn't leave me. So I was trying to scare her off. 

I realized after my overdose that there was no scaring her off. She was as sick as I was, she needed help like I did, and until we got it we would still be on the ride. That's when I filed for divorce. I thought of it as my final, "I love you," because I really did it for her, knowing she wouldn't file after I OD'd. We were torturing ourselves at that point. We both needed to just get away from one another. And we did.

"You coming or not, Vivian, c'mon!" I call into the house when the car gets here, rolling my eyes as she takes her sweet, precious time, deliberately, staring me in the eye as she slowly steps to the door, her brow raised, red lips keeping restraint from curling at the sight of me. 

When she walks past, I'm tempted to rear back and hit her ass as hard as my hand can muster, just to see her look at me with her unamused, pissy little look she gives me when I'm being an asshole. 

We get in the back of the limo and she sits as far away from me as possible. 

It's silent on the way to town, the light flittering, through the windows in the back cast light over her face every now and then...we'd be in the floor tearing at clothes by now if this was three years ago. 

Fuck.

How the hell did we go from not getting enough of each other to fucking despising each other? 

Again, like I've been doing all year, I remind myself it's because I fucked up with Vanity.

I hope she doesn't tell Vivian I called her in Japan...It's  like I really miss her or anything, I was just lonely and Vivian wasn't taking my calls. 

She was under Duff, the demon in my ear laughs out and I look at Vivian again, seeing her quickly look away from me as if she'd get caught for staring. 

I wonder what she's thinking about right now...I wonder if she really has been with Duff this whole I haven't been home. 

Not that I have room to bitch, I spent my whole time in Japan with my head in drugs--which might as well be a fucking mistress. 

I give her one last glance before clearing my throat and leaning my head back to rest my eyes for a moment. 

Soon, we stop, and the door flings open, Robbin, Slash, some chick, and Steven all pile in, Vivian scooting over so there's more room for everyone to sit. 

I go to the other window, letting Slash and the girl I'm assuming is with him get beside me. 

Vivian's between Robbin and Steven, and it's evident they've been having some fun before meeting us. 

"Sixx!" Robbin lets out, kicking the seat I'm in.

"King!" I reply, kicking his seat, and he chuckles. 

"How was Japan?" He asks, rubbing his nose. 

"I barely remember." I admit with a laugh and he joins me, nodding. 

"Nikki, this is Sally." Slash tells me next and I lean over him to see her. 

She's pretty hot. 

"Nice to meet you." She tells me.

She's Scottish...interesting. 

I hear Vivian giggle and I peek out the corner of my eye and see Robbin whispering something in her ear, and she elbows him, jokingly. 

"You are, just saying." He says to her and she rolls her eyes. "Just get more and more beautiful the longer I go without seeing you." He adds. 

"Shut up." She nudges him. 

"You are." He chuckles. 

"Sleepy is what I am." She states as Steven tells me something, and I try to hear him, but I'm too focused on what Robbin's going on about. 

"Here," he reaches in his pocket and pulls out a baggie of coke, grabbing his keys and getting some on the tip of it, holding it up to her nose. 

She wrinkles her nose and shoos him away. 

"No, no, no." She shakes her head. 

"C'mon."

"No." She keeps her voice light but stern and he lowers it and looks at her with a smirk on his lips. 

Next thing I know, she's laughing out, "Robbin, stop," while King's dumping the dab of coke on the smooth skin of her tit that's pushed up slightly in her strapless dress. 

She squeals and laughs as he snorts it off, I guess because the scratch of his five o'clock shadow tickles or she just gets off on making me mad, then he starts quickly trailing little kisses up her cheek to her ear and she tries to put her ear to her shoulder, laughing more when his other hand tickles at her stomach…he's nearly got her laid out on the seat. 

My foot makes contact with his stomach and I'm nearly barking when I say, "sit your ass down, Robbin," sharply, making it clear I'm not bullshitting him.

"I was just playing, Sixx, damn." He sniffles, wiping his nose.  

"You don't 'play' like that." I throw at him. 

An intense silence falls over all of us and Vivian just brushes what's left of the coke off of her chest and straightens her dress before giving him a soft, reassuring smile. 

Great. Is she fucking him, too? 

When we get to the Cathouse, Vivian stays close to Steven and eventually Sally when the two of them warm up to each other. 

We make it up to V.I.P. and Viv makes a point to try to avoid sitting beside me. 

But I wait for her to sit and I'm sitting right beside her with a smug smirk while she glares at me. 

"What's wrong, baby?" I lean into her ear and ask over the loud music and she just shakes her head. 

I pat myself on the back when she eventually gets up, mumbling about the bathroom, and leaves us. 

After a few (several) lines of blow, I head to the bathroom to piss, deciding to stop by the women's restroom to see what the hell Vivian's doing. 

She probably snuck out of the window. 

I hear the very faint but distinct sound of Vivian crying, guilt stabbing at me. 

I think I took it too far earlier when I called her those shitty things. 

I just go to the men's bathroom and splash my face with water, the buzzing of coke beginning to numb my mind, thoughts of my imploding marriage, band, and life, being locked up and discarded into a black sea of, "it can wait." 

One thing is retrieved, though, thrown a life line and brought back from the depths. 

I look at myself in the mirror, staring myself down as if saying, "don't you fucking do it." 

Once the high kicks in, I can just feel Sikki scrape me from control, locking me away momentarily. 

Next thing I know, I'm standing in the women's bathroom, Vivian still sniffling in the stall...I don't think she knows I'm in here. 

"I got you this far, you fuck." The demon snarls in my ear.

I swallow and clear my throat, making Vivian go silent. 

"Viv, what the fuck's wrong, now?" I ask and she sighs, staying quiet. 

"Nothing, Nikki." She says and I scoff, rubbing my jaw. 

"It's clearly not 'nothing' because I heard you blubbering the past ten minutes." I point out and she opens the stall, door, looking me dead in the eye before pushing past me. 

"A lot on my mind, alright?" She mumbles, going to the sink and I lean against the stall, crossing my arms. 

"Like what?" 

"I don't wanna talk about it, Nikki." She tells me, trying to wipe the smeared mascara away. 

"Well, I can't read your mind, Vivian, so if you're upset with me about something th--"

Her head hangs low, a small sob coming from her throat, tears dropping into the sink, her hands white-knuckling the side of the porcelain…

"I'm upset with you about everything." She admits to me, sorrow lacing her words. 

I haven't seen her like this since Vanity aired our dirty laundry out. 

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't you act like--" she cuts herself off, and I realize she's referring to me telling her I loved her while I was in Japan. 

"Where were you, Vivian?" I ask her out of nowhere, getting defensive. 

"Where was I?" She turns to look at me, wiping her tears, rolling her jaw. "Where were you?" She snaps at me. "Where have you been the last four years?" She asks me. 

"I'm not doing this shit here." I grumble, turning to go. 

"You asked me what was wrong, Nikki, and I'm telling you what's wrong because you asked--"

"--I also asked where you've been while I've been out of town, Vivian!" I turn on my heel, snarling. 

"I've been at home, Nikki!" She yells back. "I've been here, and I've been here for six years! Thinking you'd be right here with me but you're not! That's what's wrong! I've wasted six years of my life on someone who--" 

"--You wasted six years of your life?!" I laugh out humorlessly. "How the fuck do you think I feel? How many things I've missed out on because, 'oh, nah, my wife wouldn't like that'?!" I scream. 

"Must not have been too bad because you sure as hell weren't passing up the opportunity to have a year and half long affair with Vanity!" She wretches and it takes everything in me not to tell her I know about her little thing she has going with Duff. 

"Ya know what, I felt bad for calling you an evil bitch and a cunt earlier but fuck it, you are." I reach for the door and I feel something hit at my back, her heel hitting the floor by my boots. 

I turn at glare at her, her emerald eyes lined black, thick lashes blinking slowly, lips parted slightly as she takes in a heavy breath.

I take a step to her, then another and she steps back to the sink. 

When our lips meet, I'm putting her on the sink, wasting no time to get her dress pushed up her legs. 

"Wait, wait, wait," she gasps out, nudging me away while I unbuckle my belt. 

I catch my breath as she gets off the sink and turns around, looking at me in the mirror. 

I just lift her dress and bend her over, pulling her panties to the side before--

"God, you are so high." She grumbles, pulling me from my imagination, picking her heel up and shoving past me.

Damn her. 

I follow after her back to the guys, and within another hour, once she realizes she's just going to be babysitting us--since she's not fun enough to participate in the coke, pills, and booze--she stands up.

"I'm about to head home." She tells us, and the boys groan. 

"Oh, c'mon, Viv!" Steven complains as she leans down to hug him and tell him bye. 

"I'm tired, Stevie." She states, chuckling, wrapping her arms around Slash's neck from behind him, and he pats her hand. 

"See ya," he tells her. 

"Bye." She says. "It was nice to meet you." She says to Sally, next. 

"You, too." Sally replies. 

"C'mere, c'mere, c'mere!" Robbin calls over the music and she raises a brow and stand behind him, leaning over to see what he wants. 

He just grabs her hand and puts it over his heart. 

"You feel that?" He asks her. 

"Yeah, it feels like you're about to go into cardiac arrest." She comments. 

"It's because of you." He dopily replies and she rolls her eyes and pushes at his chest, shaking her head. 

"You're a mess." She tells him and he kisses the top of her hand. 

"Goodnight, Viv, it was good to see you again." He tells her. 

"It was good to see you, too." She replies, smiling, before pulling away. "Bye, Nikki." She says to me in passing. 

"Fuck you, too!" I call after her as she heads to the stairs. 

The next time I'd see her, she'd be trying to help Sally, Duff, and Steven resuscitate me, and eventually trying to throw herself from the balcony in an attempt to not be left behind while I moved on to where ever the hell we go when we die, begging me not to leave her. I didn't, thanks to adrenaline...but even if I did die, if I had anything to do with it, I still wouldn't have left her.

[max--phillips]

And See Where it Goes - Chapter 5

ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE! Chapter 5! And it’s uhhh longer than even I anticipated! So here u go!

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x f!reader, no y/n

Warnings: v v v light angst, someone’s apartment gets broken into, lots of fluff, SMUT, holy shit it’s happening guys, fingering, piv sex, but it’s very sweet ok

Summary: Two months have passed since Jack got shot at, and things have been going well. But, the other shoe had to drop at some point.

Words: 5.7k

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4

For the next two months, things were… calm. To your knowledge, at least, no one had tried to kill either you or Jack, and things were going well. There was still some tension leftover from your first dinner date, and the conversation the next morning, but it was mainly just nerves at this point. Concern it would happen again, worries something worse would happen. But, Jack had done a pretty good job of keeping you calm and grounded about it.

Jack had been back and forth a few times to NYC now, and the first time he was there for a week was… difficult. You texted and called as much as you could, but it was still hard knowing he was something like a 12 hour car ride away rather than just across town. But, you vividly remembered seeing him for the first time after he got back from that trip. He had called and let you know he was headed back to Louisville that morning, and asked if you’d like to meet him for dinner that night. Of course you agreed, and when you saw him standing outside the doors to the restaurant, you practically ran into his arms, hugging him close to you. He held you close to him, too, tighter than he had other than that night after he’d been shot at. You held each other for a long moment, as if if you let go too early, the other would disappear. You pulled away just enough to look up at him.

That was your first kiss with Jack. He closed the gap between you, cradling your cheek with one hand, his other still at the small of your back, holding you to him. He kissed you like his life depended on it, and by the time you split for breath, you were almost dizzy, your entire body buzzing with the need to kiss him again.

“I missed you, darlin’,” he said softly, still holding your cheek in his hand.

“I missed you, too,” you responded, before going in for another, just as passionate, kiss.

Of course, the entire two months weren't all fun and games.

The editor in chief of the Observer called a full team meeting. You knew that wasn’t good.

“You know, they gave me a whole ‘look on the bright side’ speech to give all of you,” Sophia said, standing at the front of the room where the meeting was taking place, waving the piece of paper that speech was likely written on. “I was supposed to tell you that this was a great partnership to look forward to, but you’re all smart people, or I wouldn’t have hired you. You all know it’s not. The purchase of the Louisville Daily Observer by Prometheus is going to be finalized on the first of next month, and they’ll be making personnel changes as they see fit.”

You were one of the personnel changes they made. You lost your job. The career you worked hard for and loved.

You called Jack from your car, now full of things from your office, at the end of the day, distraught. They let you go on the exact same day they announced the changes.

“Hey, hey, baby, calm down, I can’t understand a word you’re sayin’,” Jack said, as soothingly as he could despite his immense worry.

“S-sorry,” you stuttered, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. “Th-they let me g-go. Prometheus-s bought the n-newspaper.”

“Oh, sweetheart…” Jack said, his brow furrowing further in concern. “I’m so sorry. Do you wanna come over? Just… watch some movies or somethin’? I’ll make you whatever you want for dinner, you just say the word.”

You accepted that invitation, driving directly from work over to his apartment. In the interim, however, Jack’s thoughts were going a mile a minute. He couldn’t shake the thought that this was done on purpose. Assuming that they’d taken note of who he was with when they tried to kill him a while ago, they knew that you were connected to him. Had they done this as a warning to him to let him know they were watching you? Whatever it was, it concerned him, but not quite as much as making you feel better when you got to his place that evening. Jack made your favorite comfort food for dinner, and set you up on the couch with a cozy blanket and whatever you wanted to watch on the TV.

“I don’t want you liftin’ a damn finger tonight, except to choose what you wanna watch, alright?” Jack told you calmly, peppering your face with kisses as soon as you got there. “You let me take care of ya.”

After you ate, Jack joined you on the couch, holding you to him tucked under his arm. He stayed uncharacteristically quiet as you cuddled like this. If you wanted to talk about what happened, you would, he knew that. But, if you wanted to just sit quietly and watch some movies and ignore the rest of the world for a while, he wasn’t going to stop you from doing that either. But, during a break between episodes of some show you didn’t have to pay too close attention to, Jack broke the silence.

“I just had a thought,” he started. “If you want, I can try to find you a position at Statesman. It might be… a little different than your job at the newspaper, but it’s better than nothin’.”

You turned and looked up at him, a small smile playing on your lips. “Just a little?” you asked, almost sarcastically, knowing you wouldn’t be doing any investigation if you worked for a liquor company.

Jack smiled back at you. “You don’t have to say yes, either, it’s just an option.”

You leaned up and kissed him softly. “If something comes up, I’d appreciate it. That means a lot, Jack.”

“It’s the least I can do, darlin’,” he said, kissing you again. He was tentatively excited about your agreement, though. He had a plan to get Champ to look through the work you’d done for the newspaper, prove that you were a good investigator, then maybe, just maybe get you in working with Ginger or staff in some other capacity. You were bright, and Statesman could use a mind like yours. He’d just have to convince the powers that be he was right.

You were still shaken up about losing your job, and decided it was best to take a few days to just… relax, and try not to think about anything else. Of course, you had to take stock of the fact you didn’t have any reason to investigate Statesman anymore, but you couldn’t deny you still had some questions you’d love to get answered. Maybe someday Jack would answer them for you. He was a good man, you knew that much, and if Statesman was doing something truly malicious with that money, he probably didn’t know. Someone like Jack would step in and try to stop anything illegal or immoral, you were sure of it. He made it sound like such, too, with offhand comments about world politics if the news was on, talking about how there isn’t enough coverage of some horrible atrocity some political leader you’d never heard of was committing, or similar issues a little closer to home. You’d frequently get into conversations about how Prometheus and its ilk would be the downfall of society as you knew it, what with their terrible working conditions for their employees and its owner’s own moral failings.

On one of the days you were using to relax before you started job hunting, you went out to go grab groceries. Just a short trip, and one with a low budget; you weren’t struggling yet, thankfully, but you wanted to ensure you wouldn’t get to that point (or worse, be forced to ask Jack for help) for a while. You knew Jack would have no issue helping you, but your relationship was still so new; if you had to ask for help you’d feel like you were taking advantage of him somehow. So, you carefully budgeted out this trip and strictly stuck to your list.

After your trip, you carried your canvas grocery bags up to your apartment. You were torn from your thoughts about what you were going to make for dinner tonight when you saw that your front door was hanging open.

Your heart began to race. You hadn’t left your door unlocked. You remember locking it and putting your keys in your purse. You carefully, slowly approached the door, seeing it had been opened somehow without being kicked in. Quietly, you assume, so whoever it was didn’t alert your neighbors. You stood outside the open door and held your breath, straining your ears to hear if anyone was still inside. Met with silence, you entered, setting your grocery bags on the kitchen counter. You grabbed a knife from the knife block next to your sink, and made your way through your apartment to make sure there truly wasn’t anyone still in there. Peaking in your bedroom, the bathroom, in the closet, under your bed… you were satisfied no one was there anymore. Your hands started shaking as the adrenaline started to wear off. You looked around again, this time checking for anything missing. But everything was exactly where it had been when you left to go shopping. You swallowed thickly.

Whoever had broken in was likely there to take you. You’d just been fired by Prometheus a few days ago. Jack asked about Prometheus the morning after he’d been shot at. Jack. Fuck, what had you gotten yourself into?

Your fear and anxiety was being replaced with anger, which was aimed at Jack for dragging you into this. You knew, logically, that he hadn’t dragged you into anything. It was chance, he couldn’t have known, it wasn’t his fault. But you needed someone to blame, and he was the only one you could think of. Even through this anger, though, you knew you needed to call him. You grabbed your phone and did just that, still shaking, staring at your still-open front door.

“Hey, baby, what’s goin’ on?” Jack asked pleasantly.

“Someone broke into my apartment,” you said, your voice startlingly calm for how high strung you were right now.

“Are you okay?” he asked. His voice was immediately completely serious, and you could hear rustling in the background.

“I’m fine, I was grocery shopping, no one was here when I got back,” you explained.

“Did you call the cops?” Jack asked.

“No,” you answered.

“Good. Don’t. I’m coming right now,” he said, and you heard the faint sound of keys jingling.

“Why?” you asked, though the face of that detective you didn’t recognize flashed in your mind.

“Please, sweetheart, just trust me, okay? I’ll be there in a couple minutes,” he said, then hung up.

You exhaled shakily, going to put the knife you’d grabbed as an impromptu weapon back in its spot. You started to put away groceries, trying to give yourself some sort of normalcy in this situation while you waited for Jack.

Jack was thankfully working from his apartment that day, not out at the distillery. He could make it across town in no time at all, though he still found himself driving a bit recklessly as he rushed to your apartment. He bypassed the elevator, taking the stairs two at a time to your floor, then practically sprinted down the hall to your apartment. The door was still hanging open, and he knocked quietly as he walked in.

You were standing in your kitchen, staring off into the distance, and his knocking startled you. You turned and looked at him, clearly shaken.

“Are you okay?” he asked again, his brow furrowed in concern.

“I’m fine,” you assured him, looking away. Normally you’d have jumped into his arms by now, but you were still angry. “They didn’t take anything. I think they were here to take me.”

Jack sighed, turning around to survey your apartment as if to confirm they hadn’t taken anything. The only evidence anyone had even broken in was the broken lock on the door. “Sugar, I’m sorry, I didn’t--”

“I’m not your fucking… Lois Lane, okay?” you snapped. You didn’t want to hear an apology or an excuse. You wanted him to know you didn’t sign up for this. Jack flinched back a bit at your words, and seemed almost confused. “I don’t know what the hell’s going on, but I’m not interested in being some kind of damsel in distress in whatever little game of hero you’ve got going on with Prometheus.”

Jack shook his head. “Baby, I know that’s not what you are,” he said, approaching you slowly and putting his hands on your shoulders gently. “I also still don’t know what’s goin’ on, but I sure as hell didn’t wanna get you caught in the crossfire. I don’t want you to be in danger. That bein’ said, it ain’t safe here for you anymore.”

You scoffed. “Of course you don’t, but I’m in danger because of you, right?”

Jack pressed his lips into a line and looked away from your face, then squeezed your shoulders a little tighter. “I wish I could tell you more,” he said quietly, almost pained. “I wish I could tell you differently. But I swear to you, I’m gonna do everything in my power to make sure you don’t get hurt, okay? Startin’ by takin’ you back to my place and gettin’ my people on figurin’ out what happened here.” He looked back up in your eyes. “I’m sorry for gettin’ you wrapped up in this, but we’re in it together now. I’m gonna get you out of it, and that’s a promise.”

He looked almost afraid now that he was making eye contact again, and you felt your anger melt away. He really meant that, and of course he wasn’t intentionally putting you in any danger. You felt tears well up in your eyes, and you lunged forward, wrapping your arms around him.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I just…”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Jack assured you. He was holding you to him with one hand on the back of your neck, the other hand across your back. He was gently swaying back and forth, as if to soothe you. “It’s scary. You needed someone to blame. And I certainly don’t blame you for choosin’ me.”

You nodded a bit, but made no move to separate yourself from him, letting your tears fall onto the material of his shirt. Jack waited until you did move to let go, but only fully let you out of his arms after he’d kissed you gently.

“Go pack a bag. You might wanna bring more than you normally would, okay? We gotta figure out somethin’ since it’s not safe for you here,” Jack explained. “I’m gonna make a call, and then I’ll take you back to my place, alright?”

“Okay,” you agreed, before walking back to your room to throw some things into your duffel bag. You packed clothes for about a week just to be safe, everything you’d need from your bathroom, chargers, your laptop… As you were going over everything you’d need in your head, you realized this was the first time you’d be staying over at Jack’s place since the last time something out of the ordinary had happened. You hoped that this wasn’t going to become a pattern, and that you’d be staying over there more frequently without that context, but now wasn’t the time to dwell on that.

While you were packing your bag, Jack called Ginger and explained the situation. She and a few investigators were coming over from HQ and would be there as soon as they could.

“She was definitely fired on purpose,” Jack speculated as he was giving Ginger as many details as he could.

“It makes sense. It means they know who she is,” Ginger responded. “Probably a warning.”

“That’s what worries me,” he said. “I don’t want her to be a piece in this game of chess.”

“She already is, Jack,” Ginger told him. “You need to use it to your advantage. You were just telling me the other day you wanted to propose her joining us to Champ.”

“I know, I know, but this isn’t exactly what I envisioned,” Jack argued. “Look, I gotta go, I’m takin’ her back to my place for now, so we won’t be here when you get here. Let me know if you find anythin’.”

“You got it. Talk to you later,” Ginger said, and Jack hung up, putting his phone in his pocket.

You emerged from your room with your duffel bag in hand, which Jack took from you. “Thanks for letting me stay with you again,” you said, grabbing your purse and taking another long look around your apartment, like you weren’t going to see it again.

Jack smiled softly. “You know you’re welcome anytime,” he said. “I wish somethin’ bad didn’t have to happen for you to stay over.”

You looked back at him, almost surprised by this admission despite having been dating for a couple months now. “Me, too,” you said, returning his smile.

“I got some folks comin’ this way to check things out. They’ll be here anytime. You ready?” Jack asked, motioning towards the door.

“Yeah, let’s go,” you responded, and you two left your apartment. You closed the door behind you, thankful it latched and just the lock was broken, which you weren’t too worried about considering you trusted your neighbors and Jack had… someone coming to figure out what happened.

The drive across town to Jack’s place was once again quiet, this time because you were processing what had just happened. You were thankful you were safe, alive, still in one piece. You were thankful Jack was here for you. Most of all, you were thankful he cared about your wellbeing in this situation and was actively working to figure things out. But, figuring things out was your specialty… so you spoke up.

“I wish I could help,” you said, looking over at Jack from the passenger seat of his Bronco. “I am an investigative journalist, after all. Investigation is my thing.”

Jack gave you a surprised look, then nodded. “You probably can,” he said. “Listen, baby, there’s a lot goin’ on with this, and I wanna tell you everything about it, but I can’t yet. If you give me a couple days, though, I’ll let you in on everything.”

You nodded a bit, your mind racing with possibilities of what he could be talking about. “Does… this have anything to do with the ridiculous amounts of money your company is spending?” you asked, venturing a guess.

Jack smiled, and chuckled softly. “It does. That I’ll tell you, since you’ve been after that since we met,” he answered. “The details, just… be patient, okay?”

It was your turn to be surprised. You hadn’t expected to get a direct answer to that question… ever, at this point, let alone so bluntly. “Yeah. Yeah, okay, I can do that.”

--------

Jack made you dinner yet again, something you could seriously get used to. He was incredible in the kitchen, and even though you weren’t a terrible cook, the thought of helping him with some of the things he seemed to do with such ease was a little intimidating. You had no idea stirring could take so much concentration until you watched him make a dark brown roux, his eyes never drifting from the searing hot dutch oven he was using. He usually had you do prep work if you offered to help, having you cut up vegetables or measure out ingredients (but never spices, “you measure out spices with your soul. Except cayenne pepper, be careful with that.”) You were starting to get a little spoiled by his equipment; his chef’s knife was razor sharp and made everything so much easier. Tonight, he threw together some pasta and sauce, nothing too fancy, but watching him glide around his kitchen was still incredibly soothing, and a welcome distraction from today’s earlier events.

After dinner, you were both relaxing on the couch, once again watching some show you didn’t have to pay too close attention to, but that choice in entertainment may have been a mistake. You really needed to be distracted, because if you weren’t, your brain was going to do its own thing, and right now, that thing was worry. What if you had been home? What if you’d been taken? Would you have been killed? Why did they want you, anyway? What did Jack get into that’s making them go after him specifically? Why is he so sure it’s Prometheus? Why is Prometheus trying to kill the board member of a liquor company?

Your thoughts quickly got overwhelming, but you tried to keep your breathing steady and attempted to subtly wipe away any tears you were shedding so as not to get Jack’s attention and, therefore, further concern. That did not work.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Jack asked softly, turning you to face him from where you were tucked into his side.

You shook your head. “I just… got in my own head,” you said, sniffling. “Just a little overwhelmed.”

“It’s alright. You know you’re safe here, right?” He brushed some hair out of your face and cupped your cheek gently, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “I know it was scary, seein’ your place got broken into, but you’re safe with me.”

You took a deep breath and nodded, leaning into his touch to your cheek. You looked up at him, and he had that caring, soft smile on his face that just assured you you were gonna be okay, that this was all gonna be fine. It was almost infectious, and you couldn’t help but smile back as you leaned forward and up, reciprocating his touch by gently cupping his face. You kissed him, softly at first, but you lingered, and it got more intense. You let your tongue slip into his mouth, humming as you tasted him. Eventually you had to pull away for breath, and he nipped at your bottom lip as you did.

You looked in Jack’s eyes again and something shifted. It was still sweet, and comforting, but something definitely changed. Jack stood, bringing you with him, and led you back to his room, where he gently laid you down on his bed. You smiled up at him as he climbed over you, then wrapped your arms around his neck as he leaned down to kiss you. It was deep, and passionate, but still gentle and tender. He pulled away after a moment, and looked at you.

“How about I take your mind off things for a while?” he offered, and you couldn’t help but grin and giggle quietly at his concern for your comfort even when you were pretty sure you’d given him very clear signals.

“That sounds good,” you responded, pulling him back down into a kiss. His tongue slipped into your mouth this time, just for a moment though, before his hands found the hem of your shirt and pulled it up. You let your arms fall from around his neck to assist in this maneuver, and in the meantime helped him take his shirt off as well. Before long, all your clothes were tossed haphazardly on the floor, and Jack was leaned back just a bit, looking you over.

“Gorgeous,” he mumbled, before going back in for another kiss. You smiled into it as you wrapped your arms back around him, one of your hands finding the hair at the nape of his neck, the other tracing over his back and shoulder blade. Jack gently dragged one hand up your side, to your breast, where his calloused hand palmed it gently. You gasped into his lips as his thumb brushed over your nipple, which immediately hardened under the touch. His hand explored your body further, his lips never leaving yours. It glided down your side again, to your thigh, his fingers mapping out the soft skin there before he gently grabbed it, and guided you to hook your leg up around his waist. He then dragged his fingertips up your inner thigh, towards where you wanted him most. Your hips shifted, trying to close the gap, and Jack pulled away to smile.

“Don’t you worry, baby, I’m gonna take care of ya,” he assured you quietly. This time he didn’t lean back down to kiss you, but kept watching your face as he lightly, almost teasingly so, rubbed his thumb up your folds, ghosting over your clit. You gasped again, looking right back at him as you moved your hips again to try to get more friction. He gave in easily, and circled your bundle of nerves with his thumb a little more firmly, but still definitely teasing you.

“Jack,” you breathed, letting your eyes flutter shut to enjoy the sensations. Jack’s cock twitched hearing you say his name like that, something he could admit he’d imagined pretty frequently since he started seeing you. His eyes were still glued to your face, watching your reactions to his touch. His thumb stayed over your clit, starting to rub a little firmer as he adjusted his hand to slip two fingers into you. You moaned quietly at the stretch he provided, noting how much thicker his fingers were than yours, and he hummed contentedly feeling how wet you were for him already.

Jack worked his fingers slowly, in no hurry to get you to anywhere. He wanted to savor this moment, no matter what had gotten you both there in the first place. You were absolutely beautiful like this, your brow furrowed slightly as you concentrated on how his fingers felt in and against you, mouth open just a bit. He loved how your hands felt on his back and in his hair, gentle now, but he admittedly couldn’t wait until you dug your nails in or pulled.

Your breathing was getting faster as Jack worked you up to an orgasm like he had done this a million times before, which was incredibly impressive, but short of the point of no return, you gently grabbed Jack’s wrist. He stopped, and you opened your eyes to see him looking at you in slight confusion, if not worry he’d done something wrong.

“Don’t wanna cum yet,” you mumbled, releasing his wrist and putting your arm back around his neck. “Want you inside me. Please.”

Jack grinned and kissed you again as he gently slid his fingers back out of you. You damn near whimpered at the loss, and he nipped your bottom lip. “Can’t say no to a request like that,” he finally responded. He shifted slightly on top of you, and you absolutely reveled in the groan that left Jack’s lips as he rubbed the tip of his cock through your now soaked slit. You made your own small noise in return as it rubbed up against your clit.

You grabbed the hair at the back of his head gently and pulled him in for a deep kiss as he lined up with your entrance. You moaned into his mouth as he pushed in, and he moaned back into yours. You rolled your hips up to meet his, another gasp leaving you as his cock rubbed up against something delightful along your walls.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Jack groaned, his forehead pressed to yours, eyes shut tight as he took in the feeling of how hot and wet and tight you were around him. His hand settled low on your tummy, his thumb pressing onto your clit but not yet rubbing, which you were thankful for since he’d gotten you pretty worked up just a few minutes ago. He gave one shallow, experimental thrust, and you gasped again. You wrapped your other leg up around his waist, then lightly tugged on his hair.

You said his name again, a plea in your voice, and Jack got the message immediately. He started slow, his movements deep and deliberate. He was still keeping close attention to your reactions, keeping track of what you seemed to particularly like. He gradually picked up the pace, once again taking his time, still in no hurry to get either of you off. It was still gentle, even as his hips moved quicker. Eventually he leaned in again, kissing you briefly before moving to your neck, where he quickly found a spot that made you moan out as the sensation was added to the rest of what you were feeling. He nipped at it, and took his time sucking a mark there.

With the feeling of his mouth on your neck, his thumb on your clit, and his cock filling you up perfectly, you were not set up to last much longer. But, based on the fact he was breathing a bit faster and grunts and moans were leaving his throat more frequently, Jack probably wasn’t, either.

“Jack, fuck, I’m--” you cut yourself off with a hum, trying to hold on just a little longer, make this feeling go on just a little bit more.

Jack lifted his head from your neck, nudged his nose against yours, and then kissed you before pulling away just enough to look at you. “Let go, darlin’, I got you. Cum for me.”

That’s all it took, listening to the raspy baritone of his voice encouraging you to go over the edge. You did, your back arching off the bed, your mouth falling open with a loud moan, your eyes screwing shut as the honeyed, hot feeling washed over you. Jack worked you through it expertly, drawing it out and bringing you back down to earth gently, gritting his teeth as he held off until he’d taken care of you completely. Once he had, he pulled out of you and wrapped his hand that was between the two of you around himself, then pumped his cock to his conclusion, spilling out all over your tummy which was… quite a sight to look at.

You tugged his hair gently again to bring his attention back to you, and pulled him back towards you to kiss him. It was much more chaste than the kisses you’d shared during the act, but there was still a little heat left in it.

“That was incredible,” you finally said, upon having to pull away from Jack for air. “You’re incredible.”

Jack smiled at you, but shook his head. “No, I’m pretty sure you’re the incredible one,” he argued playfully, kissing you quickly. He begrudgingly got up then, quickly walking to his bathroom to grab a washcloth, which he wet with some warm water. You propped yourself up on your elbows as he walked away from you, shamelessly looking at his ass.

You grinned as he returned, like you knew something he didn’t, and he gave you an amused but puzzled look. “What?”

“You have a nice butt,” you told him, as matter-of-factly as you could despite your own amusement.

Jack chuckled. “Why thank you,” he said, climbing back on the bed and wiping his mess off of your skin before tossing the cloth on the floor near your clothes. “You also have a nice butt.”

Your smile stayed on your face as you pulled him in for another kiss. You both situated yourselves under the covers, deciding you didn’t want to get up long enough to shower until later. Maybe tomorrow. Jack was propped up on his pillow looking at you, and you were looking back up at him. He looked like he was thinking, though, his stare almost going through you.

Jack was thinking, hard, about what the best move would be to keep you safe at this point. Without a job, relocation would be easy enough. He had thought about trying to find you your own apartment, but every time he considered this, his mind went back to how easily you two fell into a rhythm when you went over to each other’s places, even if you didn’t stay the night. How you helped him in the kitchen with dinner, how you so easily shared that space and worked together so well. How you curled into him as you watched TV or a movie after dinner, so easily getting comfortable. How his feelings were growing for you so fast, how when you left at the end of the night he always felt a pang of disappointment, how the thought of not being with you made his chest ache.

“Penny for your thoughts?” you asked, reaching up and placing your hand on his cheek, brushing your thumb along his cheekbone.

“I want you to move in with me,” he said, looking at you seriously. “In New York.”

Your eyes widened, and you sat up slightly. This wasn’t a bad surprise, not in the slightest, but it was a big surprise. “What?”

“You’d be safer there,” Jack started to explain, though he was concerned now he’d tried to push things too far too soon, even though he didn’t see any signs of rejection on your face or hear any in your voice. “And the only reason I’m comin’ to Kentucky so frequently is you at this point, sweetheart. I’m supposed to be based in New York all the time, only comin’ here every couple months or so. Plus, it’d be a little easier for you to be there if I get you the position at Statesman I had in mind.”

You blink at him for a few seconds, trying to wrap your head around what he was offering. “Jack, I mean… I’d love to, but I don’t… I mean, my lease, then getting everything over there--”

“I’ve thought through all of that, darlin’,” he said, smiling softly. “I’ll take care of it.”

“I can’t ask you to do that,” you argued, furrowing your brow a bit. That’s a lot of money.

“You aren’t,” he responded, leaning over and kissing you. “I’m offerin’. I’ll worry about that, you worry about packin’. Waddya say?”

You got the distinct feeling that he wasn’t going to let you refuse on the grounds of cost, and of course you wanted to move in with him. He made you feel safe, and comfortable, and damn if you didn’t want more nights like this one. You let a smile spread across your face, and you kissed him again.

“Alright,” you agreed. “Y’know, I’ve never been to New York.”

“Well, you are in for a treat, sugar.”

Chapter 6

[clairenvk]

r + e fic rec

a collection of 40+ completed reddie fics i’ve read on ao3 and loved; ranging from soft to cute to funny to ridiculous to angsty. you may have read some of this, you may not have, but these are all worth your time. if you read any of these and enjoy them then remember to leave a kudos and a comment for the author to let them know that you liked it!

✨ - Fav 😎 - fun/funny 💕 - Soft 💜 - cute (cute cute!)  🌹 - emotional / atmospheric ⚠️ - angsty ⚔️ - nsfw

💕 up off the floor  - kaspbrak_kid

“In a world where we can kill a fucking clown from space, Eddie Kaspbrak doesn’t get to die from a stab wound."

15.3k words. 6 chapters.

Note - the Most soft. tender. taking care of each other and getting together. this author also has a wip that’s a lot more sad but with as much Yearning as this one so i’d recommend you check their stuff out.

💕 And All The Time He’s Mumbling - monarchyofroses

“It suits you.” Richie frowned. “Huh?” “Being in love,” Ben clarified. “It suits you.” Richie smiled, then, so hard that it made Ben wonder how his face had not splitted in two. “I’m in fucking limerence, man.” 

2.7k words. 1 chapter

Note - ben and richie have a Conversation about the loves of their lives basically. Truly Soft.

💕 What He’s Mumbling? - monarchyofroses

"But. But that's what you do for..." "...A friend," Maggie finished for him, or well, not exactly for him, considering he was about to come out. Richie to God, if you exist and this is your revenge for my atheism, it's not funny. Also, you suck.

3.5k words. 1 chapter.

Note - coming out! i love the toziers. part 2 of the same series the previous fic is from.

💕 💜 No Mistakes - usnavi

When Richie Tozier tells Eddie Kaspbrak he loves him, they're watching Jurassic Park and Eddie's wearing his clothes like it's all meant to be this way. 

1.4k words. 1 chapter.

✨ 💜 Richie Tozier: Come Out and Play - piginawig

Richie Tozier: Come Out & Play, a new Netflix special! Comedian Richie Tozier is back after a very public mental breakdown. And he's ready to (over)share.

5.7k words. 1 chapter.

Note - My personal favorite version of this trope.

😎 Richie Tozier, an Apple Music Listener - plinys

Apple Music ✓ @AppleMusic Thanks for the support @trashmouth! We love to see loyal #AppleMusic fans! Apple Music ✓ @AppleMusic Also, in unrelated news, the #AppleMusic recommended song of the day is “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande.

1.2k words. 1 chapter.

Note - Post Chapter 2. I’m a sucker for fics involving social media. Also, this is funny and lighthearted and i love it.

😎 Retweet. - plinys

richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth what did i miss lol

3k words. 1 chapter.

Note - Post Chapter 2. 

😎 💜 ⚔️ Let’s Hear It For The Boy - sloppybitch

Eddie’s just trying to see if he’s not alone when he downloads Grindr on his phone. It’s by pure, terrifying coincidence that one of the first messages he receives on there is from none other than Richie freaking Tozier. Long story short: trashmouth;) (11:03PM): oh me, oh my. fancy seeing u here Eddie (11:33PM): holy FUCKING SHIT.

9.8k words. 1 chapter.

Note - Part 1 of an ongoing series.

😎 💜 ⚔️ Let’s Give The Boy a Hand - sloppybitch

After finding each other on Grindr and sharing a couple of saucy texts and a phone call that would make a nun faint, Richie and Eddie find each other in the clubhouse, and they... talk. Sure, they talk. Let’s call it talking. Beverly, meanwhile, discovers that none of the Losers have ever gotten drunk, and what’s being a teenager without breaking a few drinking laws? Ben has a free house, and Eddie has never been more afraid of a game of Truth or Dare in his entire fucking life.

24k words. 1 chapter.

Note - Part 2 of the series the previous fic is part of.

✨ 💜 Five Times The Losers Gave Richie Permission - toomuchrootbeer

The Losers keep trying to tell Richie something, but he's never been great at taking a hint. 

10.7k words. 1 chapter.

Note - anything that has all of the losers really present in their fics is the loml. some mentions of period typical racism and homophobia but no slurs, mainly mentioned for context of the time.

✨ 💜 Husband and Husband - thatsuperawkwardgirl

Richie gets the idea at the end of kindergarten, when the teacher has everyone do projects on their families. The class talks about how some families have moms and dads who are married, and some don’t. Richie being…well, Richie, he goes straight home and asks his parents why they got married if they didn’t have to. Richie learns about marriage and love, and comes up with an excellent plan.

7.8k words. 1 chapter.

Note - the sweetest, most adorable fic ever. couldn’t stop smiling. Part 1 of an ongoing series.

💜 A Good Husband - thatsuperawkwardgirl

Eddie sits in a chair in front of the principal’s desk, bouncing his leg anxiously--a habit he picked up from Richie, that annoying little twerp. Mrs. Smith is calling his mother for the third time in the last hour, and Eddie knows she won’t be picking up; Wednesday mornings are when she runs her errands and doesn’t return until late afternoon. This is the perfect time to get suspended, Eddie really has to pat himself on the back for that one. Eddie gets in trouble at school for fighting, and Maggie Tozier comes to pick him up.

2.5k words. 1 chapter.

Note - Part 2 of Married Life, the same series the previous fic is a part of. Truly so ridiculously cute it makes me want to scream.

😎 💜 light as a feather (got you and i together) - anniebibananie

RICHIE: why the fuck does eddie look so cute today RICHIE: his sweater sleeves keep falling down over his palms, like how could I see that and not think “I know exactly how to keep those sleeves up, just hold my hand” BEN: richie this is so sweet! BEN: but I feel like you didn’t mean to send this to me? RICHIE: This message will self-destruct in five seconds. [or Richie accidentally texts Ben about his feelings for Eddie and everyone gets involved]

1.6k words. 1 chapter.

Note - could not stop smiling the whole way through.

✨💜 the years go by like days - georgiestauffenberg

It’s Eddie he wants to get a hold of, though, and he does, tucking him under his arm, and ruffling his hair, making him laugh. He’s startled when Eddie looks at him with such happy, shining eyes. And, for a split-second, he’s tempted to kiss him right then, right there in front of everyone. He wants to. Badly. He doesn’t. He leans in, instead, and he smacks a loud, wet kiss to Eddie’s cheek, punctuating it with a “mwah!” He does it again and again. “I’m so proud of my little Eds Spagheds!” “Get off me!” Eddie says, laughing and shoving him away, swatting at his hands. AU. in the 27 years in-between, Richie and Eddie forget a lot, but they don't forget each other.

121.9k words. 4 chapters.

Note - make sure you have the time before starting this because i couldn’t stop once i started. god. really good.

💕 come on, come on - Chokingonholywater

“Yo, Eddie, play some music, will ya?” When Richie asks Eddie to put on some music in the car that day after school, Eddie doesn't think anything of it. It's a familiar request; he knows the passcode to Richie's phone, knows where Spotify is, knows what Richie likes to listen to while he drives. But what Eddie doesn't know is why, exactly, there's suddenly a playlist his name on it - literally.

8.6k words. 1 chapter.

Note - They’re in Love. and they have a playlist to prove it.

💕 sleepover - sleqnir

“You jealous?” Richie tilts his head. “Jennifer is kinda hot.” He’s referring to Ben’s girlfriend. Eddie’s face falls. “Oh. Um… no. I’m happy for him. I just…” “Want it too?” Richie’s jaw clenches. His chest aches in a way all too familiar. “A girlfriend? For yourself?” Eddie’s looking at him nervously. “I want… a relationship. I guess.” Richie looks back up at the ceiling, giving another millionth sigh. “Yeah, well… don’t sweat it so much. You’re not the only one.”“You want a girlfriend?” “I want a... relationship.” He mimics Eddie’s words.

2.5k words. 1 chapter.

🌹 ⚔️ the anatomy of a joke - crescenteluce

He trails off and Bev raises an eyebrow. ‘So, you being in bed together fits in there how exactly?’ ‘No, Jesus, Bev.’ Eddie says and Richie, horrifyingly, feels his cheeks heat under Bev’s suspicious look. Something needs to be done, so he plucks Eddie’s phone from his hands. ‘I am appalled by your implications, Beverly.’ He says sternly, trying to ignore the blood still not quite done rushing to his face. ‘I would have you know that I’d never defile Eddie like that, the poor man’s 40 year old and still a virgin and if I’d have the honor of-’ He’s cut off by Eddie trying to wrestle the phone away from him as Bev cackles delightedly.

11.7k words. 1 chapter.

💜 say what you mean (out loud) - Redburn

Richie can’t help it when something heavy refuses to leave his stomach, something relentless and daunting. He looks at Eddie and can’t help but want, can’t help but need, watching this boy watch the stars and thinking he would be happy to spend the rest of his life just like this, right here standing next to him. Or, Richie realizes he likes Eddie and promptly goes through the five stages of grief. 

7.4k words. 1 chapter.

Note - Good ol’ fluff with slight internalized homophobia and a whole lot of yearning.

💜 across the gap - sondersoflight

“You fucking stupid asshole,” Eddie says but he is smiling when he leans forward, grabbing Richie by the lapels of the ridiculous bright yellow shirt with dancing avocados he is wearing. “I’m the fucking love of your life.” 

6.4k words. 1 chapter.

💕 💜 Five Times Richie Kisses Eddie and One Time He Doesn’t Have To - multifandomtakeover

Eddie Kaspbrak is a little inexperienced in the kissing department and Richie Tozier is more than willing to help him out. 

5.7k words. 1 chapter.

✨ 🌹 💕 ⚠️ No Saints, No Sinners, No Devil As Well - saooharine

Andy Muschietti looked at Eddie Kaspbrak so now I feel obligated to repair the damage and make it gayer.

Following Richie from the sewer showdown and to the hospital with Eddie and the Losers Club by his side.

6.2k words. 1 chapter.

⚔️ In This Cold Heart - pineapplecrushface

The future Richie sees while he's caught in the deadlights gives him a chance to save Eddie. In the year afterward, they both try to follow Stan's advice. 

16.9k words. 1 chapter.

💕 💜 ⚠️ 🌹 Wouldn’t it be nice? - podcastalien

Richie wonders what exactly is supposed to be so great about being a kid as he tries to carve initials into the kissing bridge. 

2.5k words. 1 chapter.

⚔️ Men of Fall - kaboomslang

Do you remember? He watches his own hand slide closer along the armrest. Do memories transfer by touch, in this fucked up magic town? Remember, Richie, please, and tell me I wasn’t imagining things. 

7k words. 1 chapter.

💜 Any Man’s Game - tossertozier

It's two months before graduation, and Richie and Eddie can turn virtually anything into a competition. Even kissing.

10.5k words. 3 chapters.

💜 ⚠️ ⚔️ This safe place - tinyarmedtrex

Eddie asks Richie to pretend to be his boyfriend at his family reunion. What’s the worst that can happen? 

31k words. 14 chapters.

⚠️ ⚔️ Stay for the Storm - inoubliable

Richie and Eddie had become friends almost on sight. Since they met, most of Eddie's time in Los Angeles has involved Richie in some way. It's a little different, now that they're both famous. It's a little different, now that they're sleeping together. Well, to be fair, they've been sleeping together for a long time, but. No one knows, not even their friends. Eddie has been very careful about that. It's just not the sort of publicity he needs. So when Beverly calls him that sunny Thursday morning, the last thing he expects her to say is, "You're fucking Richie?"

20.8k words. 1 chapter.

💜 and this is who we are - sunsetozier

He realizes, suddenly, that being in a position like this meant nothing to him two weeks ago. At the time, it was completely normal, holding no real meaning other than comfort and tradition – after all, him and Eddie have been disgustingly cuddly with one another since they were kids, even though they’d usually bicker while holding each other close, much to the annoyance (and entertainment) of their friends. Now, however, Richie can feel his heart skip a beat in his chest, an undeniable thundering that echoes loudly in his ears. He can picture his younger self, as much of an oblivious idiot as he may have been, soaking in the warmth and the affection of Eddie’s touch when they hugged, shoved, or even just nudged one another. It’s funny, really, how much changes once you’re aware of how you feel. [In which Eddie and Beverly lie to their friends for five years before finally coming out, much to the surprise of one supposedly straight Richie Tozier.]

40.7k words. 8 chapters.

💜 hawaii hottie - sunsetozier

Letting his eyes flutter shut in order to avoid everyone’s gazes, Richie meekly explains, “I got another letter from Eds, okay? And I know he’s on vacation, doing all these cool things, and I know Hawaii is, like, super sunny and everything, but- guys. Guys.” He stops, unable to force out the words he wants to. From somewhere off to his left, he hears Bill say, “Spit it out, man. What’s the big deal?”“ There was a polaroid in this letter,” Richie tells them. He would be embarrassed, but by this point they all know how smitten he is, so there’s no reason to be bashful as he practically whines out, “And he’s getting hotter.” [In which Eddie goes on vacation and Richie can't deal with it.]

4.6k words. 1 chapter.

💜 He Came In Through the Window - mischiefmanager

"It’s finally happened. I cannot fit through this goddamn window. I’m out of ideas." or Eddie enlists the help of two other Losers to help fix his bedroom window, and finally spills the beans about what's going on between him and Richie.

11.3k words. 1 chapter

💜 Home - mischiefmanager

“Tooooozier-Kaspbrak residence,” Richie says cheerfully, holding the phone up to his ear. “May I ask who—oh hello, Mrs. K! How the fuck are you?” Richie and Eddie living together in LA, being in love and dealing with Mrs. K long-distance.

6.9k words. 1 chapter.

✨ ⚠️ hit me baby one more time - theappleppielifestyle

Richie reaches up a shaking hand and puts it on Eddie’s stomach. “Uhhh,” Eddie says. “Is this a bit? Is this a really inopportune bit? ‘Cause I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Richie, but this is kind of an important moment-” “What the fuck,” Richie says, not for the first or last time, and lurches forwards to hug him. (Or, Richie gets stuck in a time loop.)

11.1k words. 1 chapter.

💕 are we living for the feeling? - michelllejones

“You’re such an idiot,” Eddie tells Richie with a frown. He snorts at that. “Says you. Your knees are all bloody. You fall off your bike or something?” He asks, and for a split second Eddie thinks he can hear genuine concern in his voice. He’s probably just imagining it, though, since Richie’s only ever concerned about two things: his dick, and the size of it.“ So what if I did?” Eddie bites back, feeling almost defensive. Richie should be the last person teasing him about falling off of a bike. Especially since Eddie watched him trip over his own foot less than a week ago! or, Eddie takes a tumble and goes to Richie for help.

4.5k words. 1 chapter.

💕 what would they say? - michelllejones

And despite telling Eddie he would, he doesn’t go home—at least not at first. He isn't sure what wills him to do it, but his bike takes him in the other direction, past the Barrens and to the street, right to the Kissing Bridge in all its vandalized glory. Slurs and poorly carved hearts and names he doesn’t recognize stare back at him as he digs into his jeans and pulls out his dad’s old pocketknife.

4.1k words. 1 chapter.

💕 back in the summer - michelllejones

“What?” Eddie snaps, feels immediately defensive. “Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?” Self consciously, he buries his nose into his comic book. Glares at Richie over the brim, frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. He waits for Richie to take the bait, provide some half clever quip that will catapult them into some sort of argument, as is customary. But the taunt never comes. Instead, he reaches forward—with a look in his eyes that if Eddie didn’t know any better would let himself think is almost fond—takes a curl in between gentle fingers and says, “your hair’s longer,” in a tone so tender it is almost unrecognizable.

1.6k words. 1 chapter.

💕 ⚠️ savage - inoubliable

Eddie Kaspbrak is twelve years old. He's kissed for the first time. And then kissed again. -- "You're bisexual." Eddie has never said the word out loud before, and it feels a little taboo, but it also feels like a weight off his chest. "You like boys and girls. It isn't weird, and it isn't gross, and you aren't selfish because of it. You aren't dirty or disgusting. You're Richie Tozier, and you're my best friend. I'm Eddie Kaspbrak, and I'm an idiot. I get it."

3.7k words. 1 chapter

💕 💜 Morphine - inoubliable

Eddie Kaspbrak is fourteen years old. He's a lot more honest with himself when he's drugged. -- They all crowd around Eddie's bed, their faces shimmering a little. Eddie has to squint to make out their features, and he laughs once he does. They all look so worried. Eddie feels great. "Oh my God," Stan says, at the same time that Richie says, "He's high."

2k words. 1 chapter.

💕 We Were Here - inoubliable

Eddie Kaspbrak is fifteen years old. It's the first time he kisses Richie Tozier. -- Eddie has a couple of options, here. He can pretend he didn't just realize what Richie has been trying to tell him the whole time. He can pretend like Richie is just being a jerk when he flirts and teases and taunts. He can pretend like they're just friends, and then they can stay just friends, and nothing will change. Or he can kiss Richie. He kisses Richie.

2.3k words. 1 chapter.

💕 ⚔️ The Ever After - websters_lieb

Eddie lives, and life goes on. Or The story of how Richie and Eddie sort out their shit and realize that they've been in love the whole damn time while they work towards their happily ever afters.

20.8k words. 5 chapters.

⚠️ In the Glow of the Vending Machine - sentimentalscribe

“I can’t believe that I’m going to live an eternity in hellfire over a hypochondriac who would probably make sweet love to his inhaler given the chance.” Alternatively: Beverly Knows way before these chucklefucks do. Alternatively: It's the '80s in a small town and having a panicked confession to your best friend is not nearly as fun as it sounds.

3.5k words. 1 chapter.

💜 😎 eddie gets grindr - BookRockShooter

I shouldn’t be doing this, Eddie thinks as he opens his phone. Is this technically illegal? he thinks as he clicks the app store icon. Well, it’s definitely fucking wrong either way, he thinks as he types grindr into the search bar. - Eddie downloads grindr and rediscovers an old friend - and crush - on it.

2.1k words. 1 chapter.

⚠️ confessions in the dark - BookRockShooter

Richie nods to himself. “Okay. Talk. I can do that. Hey, you know a trope in movies I always hated? When, like, the main character’s love interest is fatally wounded and dy–” He trails off, staring at Eddie with a haunted look in his eyes. “Well. You know. And, uh, the main character chooses that exact moment to confess their undying love? Like, shit, they’ve always got the worst timing.” He laughs, short and shaky, and Eddie thinks, Oh my god. “So, what, they wait until the last moment to say something? Isn’t that fucked up? Because, now, they’ll never have time to… to be happy together.” His eyes are shiny and, suddenly, all Eddie wants to do is wipe away his tears. Wants to help him feel better, because Richie Tozier doesn’t deserve to be in so much pain, not on Eddie’s behalf. “Richie,” Eddie murmurs, and he hates himself for what he’s about to say. “Richie, I… I love you.” - *fix it fic for chapter 2 bc fuck canon reddie is real*

2.2k words. 1 chapter.

💜 😎 head lights pointed at the dawn - starkmccall

"You do realise this means people around the world are gonna hear about how much I love your dick, right?" Richie says, tucked behind Eddie in bed late one night.

He can almost see Eddie squint at him. "That's not actually a part of the show, is it?"

Post-Chapter Two. Eddie lives. Richie goes back to comedy.

3.2k words. 1 chapter.

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Childhood Friends

Childhood friends. Childhood friends who lost contact. Childhood friends with pining. WIPs. It's tricky to put em in categories because some of these overlap. Under a read more:

Art for Best half of my soul fic 

***** CHILDHOOD FRIENDS  *****

once i was 7 years old by bashfulisak (1k words) - isak and even are childhood friends, and as they grow up together, isak remembers his past. DELETED :(  

One Second by deathsmi (1.2k words) - Isak & Even have their first kiss. It’s still in a pool, but it’s different. They’ve been friends for years and Isak has been holding back for a long time. He can’t hold back anymore. 

Unexpectedly by colazitron (1.5k words) - Even and Isak are finally on a date and Isak's pretty sure he hasn't been breathing right all evening. 

In another life, my dear, by HeartbeatsAreMySymphony (2k words) - soulmates au with a twist. They fell into the same rhythm as before, though this time, it was more boisterous: passionate. It was a secret they kept to themselves, and a part of Isak reveled in that: to have a world that belonged to only Even and himself. And, maybe, he was selfish— taking Even for himself when they both belonged to others. 

i don't mind, we have such a good time, my best friend by hippopotamus (2k words) - “Isak, I need you to kiss me.” Isak would be lying if he said the words didn’t make his heart thump loudly in his chest for a moment. At least, they do before he remembers who it is that he’s talking to. 

ribs by bbyfruit (2k words) - “I meant it,” Even says. He feels Isak’s lashes blink against his own. “I love you.” Isak lets out a long breath through his nose and it feels like a blessing. “I love you,” he echoes. 

you and me, fade in by skamz (3.3k words) - spin the bottle -  DELETED 

you and me got a whole lot of history by everythingislove (straykid) (3.5k words) - "You're going to be my best friend, Even." Isak decides, showing off his baby teeth with a beaming grin. Even opens his mouth to protest, then shuts it. The words have so much finality to them, and frankly, he doesn't feel like getting in trouble for making him cry. So he nods. "Best friends for life." He agrees. 

ten & twelve by dimplesandcurls (4k words ) - 10-year-old Isak doesn't like 12-year-old Even being proud of his tallness (maybe he does, but Even and his ego didn't need to know that).

eleven & thirteen by dimplesandcurls (2.5k words) - Even has a fever, Isak plays doctor.

Til’ The Next Time by greitnok (2.6k words) - kinda childhood friends. time travel. Isak meets him for the first time when he was sitting in the backyard of his house, disorientated and angry with the world. ‘Could you possibly get me some clothes?’ a voice startled him out of his thoughts, he looked around to see a man popping his head out of the bushes. 

the red thread by thekardemomme (3.5k words) - The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break. 

i can feel the weather in my bones by EvenbechNeiheim (3.7k words) - Isak and Even are childhood friends. There’s a boyfriend sweater and Isak is just desperate to wear it. (oh and it has nothing to do with sleeping with each other, they just don’t roll that way) 

it’s a you and me house by hippopotamus (4.9k words) - Even has a treehouse, and the only other person allowed up there is Isak. 

sixteen going on seventeen by sundaymournin (5.5k words) - “I don’t know why you always go after weird, older guys. You’re a baby.” “I’m sixteen. I’m not a baby.” Isak grumbled, letting Even drag him out of the party and onto the street. He always let Even drag him away, because that felt good too. Being wanted, being complimented, someone paying attention — that was great. But being cared for was always better. 

The Imaginative Friend Syndrome by wyoheartsmusic (5.6k words) - soulmates. telepathic bond. Five times Isak and Even communicate in their heads and one time they communicate in person  

Every Time You Close Your Eyes by MinilocIsland (5.7k words) - Three times Isak settles for less, and one time he doesn't. 

to be young and in love by aestheticzjm (6k words) - kinda childhood friends. a look into the lives of isak and even, from ages 13 to 17 & 15 to 19. 

Grow Up Along With Me by wordsarelifealways (6.4k words) - Even was almost two and a half when his neighbour came back with their baby boy. How was Even to know that Isak was going to change his life forever? 

i have everything i need. here. with you by Skamtrash (6.9k words)  - they’re dependent and clingy and very much meant to be. everyone realizes it but them 

True or False by iriswests (9.8k words) - Seven moments between Isak and Even (+1 with Sonja), ranging from the ages of four and six to the ages of seventeen and nineteen, respectively. 

Holy by i_once_wrote_a_dream (9.8k words) - It was a Wednesday when he first saw him. Isak thought he looked like one of his mama’s angels. 

you make my face red and my heart beat by empty_venom (10k words) - 4 Times Isak Asks Even About Hickeys (+1 Time They Get Their Shit Together) 

our souls aren't strangers by everythingislove (straykid) (10k words) - The six times Isak and Even can't get it together, and the one time they already are. 

I'm gonna show you how to do it by colazitron (12k words) - five things Even teaches Isak to do with his mouth, and one thing Isak teaches Even. 

caught up in a dream by bbyfruit (13k words) - a slight twist to chilhood friends. in which isak is less of a mess than usual (LIE), even is super cool and smooth (LIE), and mikael just wants everyone to be happy (TRUTH). 

One Call Away by GayaIsANerd (14k words) - 5 times Even calls Isak with an excuse and the one time he doesn't need one 

The Shape Of Us by Flatfootmonster (14k words) - “Mama?” “You look thoughtful. Is there a question you want to ask?” “Even,” “He’s different,” Isak said. “I don’t think he can see me.” And that was about as much as a conclusion as he could come to about any of the things he’d noticed that were out of place. 

Life is better with you by charlyflowers (16k words) - A oneshot of Isak and Even during several Christmas times together. 

And they were right in front of you the whole time by Ihavecoldhands (18k words) - “…Okay, not a boyfriend, and not a relative…” Eskild says slowly, still looking very confused. “So… Even’s a childhood friend then?” Isak wants to say no, no, they are not childhood friends. But most friends don’t sleep in the same bed six days a week, so he swallows his words and nods reluctantly. “Yeah. We’re childhood friends.” It’s almost true except for the friend part. 

in the morning you'll dance with all the headache by bluesterek (19k words) - “Why do you hate me? Is it still about that kiss in first grade?” “You kissed my crush in front of me, Even.” “Yeah well, sorry about that, but that was like a century ago. Besides, you don’t even like girls.” “Excuse me, what?” 

I'm Not A Baby by cuteandtwisted (33k words) - they are idiots. "This is Even, my bro. The part about him being my personal servant is kind of true though.” “Bro? Your bro?! What the fuck, Isak? We need to get rid of this whole hypermasculinity thing they teach you at Nissen.”

Best Half of My Soul by nessauepa (41k words) - 5/6 chapters posted. "And they never talked again about how Even gave Isak his very first kiss. They never talked about how that night Even also gave Isak his second and the third. About how at some point Isak didn’t even remember how many kisses they had had. They didn't talk about how they had kissed lazily lying on Even's bed with their legs intertwined. How they had kissed uncountable minutes straight, cupping each other faces." 

I May Be Younger, But I'll Look After You by alotofphandoms (90k words) - Isak’s mom met Even’s mom in high school, then they met Isak’s and Even’s dad’s in college. When Even was born, Isak soon followed, two years later. For as long as they can remember, they’ve been in each other’s lives. Hopefully, they'll stay in each other's lives. 

***** CHILDHOOD FRIENDS WHO MOVED AWAY OR LOST CONTACT OR DIDN'T KEEP IN TOUCH  *****

Mamma Mia by MermaidsandMermen (SophiaSoames) (5.3k words) - The workmates AU for day 5 of Skam Fic Week. And it had to be IKEA, and it had to be Evak, and it has to be ABBA. Of course. A tiny bit of Sweden in the middle of Oslo. 

i know that it's delicate by colazitron (9k words) - kinda childhood friends. With Marianne's situation being what it is, Isak goes to stay with old family friends, the Bech Næsheims. 

live happily with sugar on by colazitron (9k words) - kinda childhood friends. While Even tries to work up the courage to approach the cute boy on the tram, the cute boy approaches him. Berries are involved. 

the other side of paradise by peachbombs (35k words) - plus mutual pining. The first and only time Isak Valtersen says those three words, it’s to Even Bech Næsheim, a boy who broke his heart once and now, here Isak is, giving him every liberty to do it again. 

Stars Shine Bright Above Me by glbertblythes (40k words) - slow burn. touch starved. For once in his life, Isak Valtersen knew what it was like to have a best friend. Many, actually. But Even was special to him in a way he didn't quite understand. So many mixed feelings and emotions at once, but Isak being the young boy he was ignored them. When Even has to move a few days before they start middle school together, Isak is crushed and has not the slightest clue how he's going to make it without him by his side. 

Supernova by hannakin (45k words) - slow burn. To Even Isak is the brightest star in the universe. He is bright and smart and the happiest person Even knows, his smile brighter than the entire sun. They are best friends, just like their fathers used to be. Even is in love with Isak. Isak is in love with Even. They grow up and things change. Eventually they drift apart and when Even sees Isak again Isak is 17 and the smile Even used to love so much is long gone. 

Blanket Fort Gospel by Sabeley (58k words) - the angst, man. Isak Valtersen met the love of his life when he was eleven years old. It was a truth he had long tried to deny, but it was the truth nevertheless. 

making new clichés by strangetowns (132k words) - “You’d feel better knowing,” Even says. “What we are.” “Yeah,” Isak says. “Something like that.” “Then I’d say,” Even says, “we can be whatever you want us to be.” 

***** CHILDHOOD FRIENDS WITH PINING *****

Another Sleepless Night! by Mechisoy (1.3k words) - Isak's having another sleepless night. Isak looks up after a couple of minuets after Even's fingers stops drawing lazy patterns on his back. Even doesn't have to open his eyes to tell Isak was staring "Issy sleep for me" 

Nourishing Courage by colazitron (2k words) - Isak somehow finds himself part of the revue and Even helps him practice. 

now and forever (i will be your man) by thekardemomme  (2k words) - 3 times isak kisses even. +1 

the one with the prom video by thekardemomme (5.5k words) - Even has been in love with Isak since they were younger, but he never intended for Isak to find out this way. Friends inspired. 

To Burn With Desire by photographer_of_thoughts (6.1k words) - the AU in which Isak and Even are neighbours and Isak's father has a secret job that unintentionally helps Isak realize he's in love with his best friend. 

But She Isn't Me by sundaymournin  (9k words) - Even and Sonja were absolutely perfect together. They were both tall, thin, and stunningly beautiful. When they smiled, they brightened the entire room. The two of them were as different a could be, but they balanced each other out; Even was the dreamer, and Sonja was the realist. They’d been together since they were sixteen and everyone expected them to get married and live happily ever after. They shared absolutely everything; friends, meals, clothes and even a toothbrush from time to time. Well, almost everything. They didn’t share Isak.

written in the stars by ourlovelybones (17k words) - the one where even follows isak around on tour but isak doesn't want to deal with his feelings 

Walking In Circles by marileal (19k words) - they are idiots. "I don’t think I will ever be able to forget this day. The day I realized I have feelings for my childhood best friend. Why am I such cliché? Isak Valtersen, the gay kid who is in love with his straight friend." 

it's exciting running through the night by traumatic (21k words) - It's always been Isak and Even against the world. They grow up and they grow apart, but they always come back to each other. 

Come if you remember the way by Teatrolley (24k words) - The first time Isak meets Even he’s fourteen, and a moving van is pulling up on the street outside of his house. Four years later he’s standing in an airport with their friends and Even’s parents. Even is going abroad for six months. 

(I’ll give it to) Someone Special by nofeartina (30k words) - Isak Valtersen is certain of a few things: 1. He doesn’t really like Christmas. 2. He loves Even – as a friend. 3. He doesn’t want things to change between them. So that’s why he offers to play Even’s boyfriend on a visit to Even’s homophobic family. And then he realizes a few other things. 4. He’s surprised by how perfect a fake boyfriend Even is. 5. Okay. Maybe, Isak is starting to love Even as more than a friend. 

it's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right by mmxii (34k words) - Even suddenly stops and just looks at him for a few seconds. Then he says it. “You’re my best friend, you know. Always have been, always will be.” 

I Have Held You in My Heart by photographer_of_thoughts (47k words) - Friends-With-Benefits University AU in which Even makes rules and Isak follows them. They sleep together sometimes - a lot of times - and Isak knows how in love he is. But then Even gets a girlfriend, and everything changes. 

Don't Let Me Go by unfancyandy (86k words) - Isak and Even have known each other for as long as Isak can remember, but it isn't long enough. Maybe if things had been different, then they would have felt they'd had enough time. Based on Never Let Me Go. 

Next to you, is where I call home by LostInAdmiration (101k words) - “Why don’t you start track too? You’d be a good sprinter, I’m sure you’d do great,” suggested Isak.  Isak wasn’t entirely sure why he asked - he mostly liked being alone and he barely knew Even - but there was just something about Even that had drawn Isak to him. Inspired by Jongens. 

Tidal Waves by desp3ration (325k words) - An alternate universe where Isak and Even have known each other since they were three and five, and Jonas is the new kid. Isak and Even are the best of friends, and act much closer than the other guys who are friends at their age. Over the years, they've secretly fallen in love with each other and are terrified of telling the other how they feel. Could their friendship survive coupledom or will it change their entire lives? 

******* WIP  *******

Floor You Can't Fall Below by Lizzygrant38 (3k words) - Last update April 2019. Isak was fourteen when his father took off, fourteen when his mother Marianne reached her breaking point and became a frantic sobbing mess, her mental health reaching boiling point and fourteen when social services finally came and picked him up.

no place i'd rather be by hippopotamus (7k words) - last update April 2018. lilo and stitch au. 

familiar by hippopotamus (13k words) - last update Sept 2019. isak is the grumpy wizard with a pet dragon and even is the prince that needs his assistance 

Prince and the Pauper by sockhead (20k words) - last update June 2018. The one where Even is the prince of Norway and Isak is the servant boy who has stolen Even's heart. And his sanity. 

You will always be, my baby Isak by stevensmayles (23k words) - last update Nov 2017. Isak feels like he can conquer anything with his bestfriend by his side. Even has always been there for him. But what if he wasn’t? What if he disappeared in Isaks life the moment he needed him the most. 

and so many miles to go by Balthamos (33k words) - last update March 2019. Isak sometimes got this feeling, like butterflies, when something was about to change, going to impact his life. He felt it just before his grandmother passed away, and then again when things started changing at home, his mother getting upset more frequently, his father working longer hours. The feeling he got as he stared across the room at the other boy was similar, but not quite the same, instead of worry there was hope, and… excitement? Something was about to change but for the better this time. 

the truth about my disguise by mikaeloboukhal (57k words) - 3/4 chapters posted. Since the day Isak was seven and stepped into Even's room, they had always been best friends. Isak doesn't think that'll ever change. 

Nobody Loves Me Like You by cuteandtwisted (185k words) - mutual pining. the angst. they are absolute idiots. extremely slow burn. 13/15 chapters posted. Isak and Even are childhood friends who enjoy ruining each other's chances with exactly everyone else, rewatching the same movies, taking care of each other, and pretending they're not in love.