#husband with a vag

[fuzybby]

might start writing that Possesive Gale fic 👀 I've been in a mood lately

[dusty6830]

[girlboypersonthingy]

Hi yes i saw hazbin requests were open??? Anything involving pining Lucifer. Or lucifer seeing reader dressed super nice for like a fancy party or something (full makeup, fancy revealing dress, that sorta thing) for the first time. Maybe feelings are revealed? I’m a sucker for pining

I love that we are all so disgustingly thirsty for this man. He deserves it ❤️‍🔥 but seriously tho…all my Lucifer posts have gotten at least 100 likes in the first day that they’re posted. Like damn yall, we need to talk about our husband more! We all have such good taste 😌 I love our little short king. Thanks for the request. Enjoyyyyyyy~

Notes: fem!reader, reader wears a dress in this one

TW: suggestive themes, hardcore pining, heavy making out

🪽The King of Pining🪽

This morning, Charlie invited everyone to the lobby of the hotel, shouting out that she had great news and a wonderful idea. Husk and Angel grumble about their annoyance with it being too early in the morning and them being way too sober for group activities right now as they plop down on one of the couches. The rest of the group files in, finding spots to relax as Charlie bounces up and down in her spot, bitting her lip and clenching her fists out of pure excitement. You follow along, deciding to stay standing and a bit behind the group, glancing back to see Lucifer coming to join the pack, standing just behind the couch that sat Vaggie and Nifty. You stare at him for a moment and when he finally glances your way, you offer him a sleepy smile and a quick wave of your hand. A small smirk finds its way to his lips as he nods his head at you, quickly looking away after.

“So…what’s the news?” Vaggie finally speaks up once everyone is settled and all eyes are on Charlie standing front and center. “Sooooooo, I had a brilliant idea that will be equally fun and beneficial to the hotel. Ready? Ready for it?” Charlie looks around the group, looking as if she might burst into flames of enthusiasm any moment now. “WE ARE GONNA HOST A BALL!!!”

Angel smirks as he nudges Husk beside him. “Heh, balls.” “She said ‘ball’, jackass. Singular.” Husk spits back, rolling his eyes as he scoots away from Angel a bit.

“It’ll attract new recruits for the hotel! We can mingle, talk about all we have to offer. AH! It’s gonna be soooooo funnnnnn.” Charlie is yelling now, she can’t control herself in the slightest.

Charlie goes into explaining the details- it is to be a huge party with a formal dress code that everyone and anyone is invited to. It’ll be here at the hotel, with an open bar (Husk wants to die) and music! The group lets out noises of mixed emotions, Nifty and Angel shouting out of excitement and anticipation while Husk and Alastor both let out noises of dread. You, on the other hand are nervous but looking forward to having a fun night and getting to know the hotel staff and residents better. As Charlie’s speech ends, the group begins to disperse and talk amongst themselves.

You watch as Charlie approaches Vaggie, shyly dropping to her knees in front of her on the couch so that they are eye level with each other. “Will you…be my date to the ball, Vags?” You can’t help but smile as you watch Vaggie laugh, her cheeks and nose slowly changing color. “Of course, you goofball. You’re my partner. There’s no one else I’d rather go with.” They share a long hug, a beautiful positive energy radiating off of them.

“They’re just adorable, aren’t they?” The low, charming voice that sounds right next to you causes you to flinch a bit, now turning to see the king of hell himself standing beside you. “Oh! Hey. Yeah. They are pretty cute. They make a great couple.” You look back to the two girls holding hands and giggling but Lucifer keeps his eyes on you, taking this opportunity while you’re distracted to examine all the little details of your face up close. Hopefully no one else catches sight of him in this moment of utter hopeless romanticism.

When he finally snaps out of it, he lets out a sigh before putting on his best smile, clearing his throat just to get your attention again. “Speaking of great couples~” And as soon as your eyes land on him again, your lips curved up ever so slightly, his courage quickly leaves him. Lucifer freezes for a moment, mouth going dry as he tried to find a way out of this. Say something you idiot.

“I-I ha! I uh…I wonder what other great couples we’ll see at this party. Maybe some of hell’s highest royalty?” Nervous chuckles just keep rolling from his lips and he’s really hoping you don’t notice the way his hands are shaking as they rest on his cane. One of his trembling hands comes to the collar of his shirt, lightly yanking it down as if that would help bring air back to his lungs, the air you’ve sucked out of him with one simple glance.

“Hm. Yeah. Maybe.” You reply plainly, looking back to Vaggie and Charlie and before you can converse with Lucifer any further, he’s walking off with his tail between his legs, eyes wild and full of doubt. “You’ll be there. You are the king of hell after all, I’m sure everyone will be too focused on you and Charlie to notice any other royals. Are you uhm…planning on going with anyone?” You ask, still watching the two girls near the couch. Your voice stops Lucifer in his tracks, making him pause for a moment as he listens. He turns slowly back to you, wearing a bashful smile as he tucks both his arms behind his back.

“No, actually. I hadn’t even thought of it.” He lies, watching as you finally pull your gaze from his daughter and relax it on him. He slowly saunters back your way, unable to control his wandering eyes. “And what about you? Do you have anyone in mind that you’d want to go with?” And now his nervousness is rubbing off on you, making your voice shake as you respond. “Me? No, no…I’ll probably just tag along with uh…”

As you look around the room, it seems all couples have already paired up. Vaggie and Charlie sat on the couch still, Charlie’s legs strewn over her girlfriend’s lap. Angel and Husk seemed to be having a bit of an argument over what they will wear together. Angel wants to wear all pink but Husk is like FUCK NO. Even Sir Pentious was trembling in front of Cherri, as he looked to he asking her out. Obviously, Alastor is bringing his shadow along. That’s kind of a date…right?

“Uhm I mean, who knows? Maybe I’ll meet someone there.” The pride that inflated Lucifer’s chest just seconds ago seems to suddenly be punctured and drained by your lack of acknowledgment to his flirty hints. He wants to ask you to be his so badly it’s making his chest hurt now. Not his for the night, not his during the party, his all the time, any time he needs you. As he opens his mouth to speak, he hesitates and then decides to let out a heavy sigh instead. “Well..I will see you there.” And with the tip of his head, he finally turned and left you standing alone in a herd of conversing couples.

~night of the party~

You figured there’s no harm in showing up fashionably late tonight. At least, that was your excuse for showing up late. In reality, you were fully ready before the ball even started but your legs were so weak and shaky, you couldn’t find the strength to get yourself out there. So instead, you’re sitting in your room, fully clad in your nicest dress along with some accessories, sunken into your plush bed as you try to steady your breathing. Maybe if I stay here long enough in this dress, I can just say I was there but not actually go…

A knock on your door has you straightening up in your spot, a warm surprised feeling lighting up your chest. “Come in.” You respond, wondering just who was coming to see you right now. You assumed it was Angel trying to get you to come out and start partying with him. To your surprise, the princess of hell pops her cheerful little face inside your room.

“(Y/N)! I was wondering when you’d be coming…out…there. Oh my gosh! You look so gorgeous EEEEE!” Charlie steps into your room now, her big yellow eyes shining with enthusiasm and hope as she fangirls over your getup. “Oh, thank you. You look stunning yourself.” Charlie watches your eyes fluttering all around the room, unable to focus. “Yeah…I’m coming. Just…feeling anxious I guess.” Taking a deep breath, you finally stand, straightening out your dress and checking your hair in a mirror quickly. “Oh stop it! You look flawless, (Y/N). Let’s go have some fun.” Charlie quickly links arms with you and drags you out to the lobby full of people, lights and music.

Within just a few minutes of joining the party, you find yourself looking around a sea of strangers all on your own. Seems the princess of hell has a line of guests wanting to meet and greet with her. Understandable, but you’re starting to get overwhelmed. You’re desperately looking for a familiar face, needing a buddy to help you feel included and secure. As you swim through sinners and other residents of hell, head turning side to side, you finally spot Lucifer after nearly an hour of wandering around alone.

Sure, His typical white suit is nice, very flattering on him. But, oh boy, did he look fantastic tonight, heavenly even. For this special occasion, Lucifer was dressed in a deep red suit with accents of white and no hat, instead sporting his pretty, slicked back blonde hair. You’re not quick to rush to him, I mean are you trying to look desperate and pathetic? No, just stay calm. But once again, you two share a glance from afar and give each other a small wave of the hand. Lucifer looks…pained. He looks like he might just collapse to his knees and start vomiting. His shift in body language causes your smile to drop, your expression shifting to one of concern as you mouth to him ‘you okay?’.

From Lucifer’s point of view, the room became silent, empty, dimly lit with you there at the center of it all under this glowing golden ray of light. You looked angelic, innocent and sweet, elegant but also nervous and out of place and adorable and fuck it, he can’t wait. He nearly pushes the sinner trying to talk to him aside, rushing to you as his brain became overloaded with ideas of what to say to you.

With each and every stride he takes, your cheeks flush deeper shades of red. With every step, his knees begin to feel more and more like jelly. Finally, he’s joined you in the spotlight, the rest of the party fading away before both of your eyes as you stand just inches apart. Now, it’s all wandering eyes and heavy breathing from both of you. Licking your lips first, you force words out to break this awful silence.

“Wow! Y-you clean up well. You look nice, Luci.” As your voice reaches his ears, his dream-like state abruptly ended. The room floods with loud music, chatty people and bright lights again. He seems to perk up at your compliments, feeling like a dog in heat as his eyes travel up and down your lovely outfit. You watch as his eyes finally leave your waist and come up to meet your own gaze.

“Holy hell. You look absolutely divine.” He scoffs quietly, wondering how an angel like you ended up down here. “Oh, Lucifer.” You swat a hand at him and you can feel your face burning up, sweat starting to form on your upper lip and forehead. “Stop it. You flatter me.”

Lucifer looked as if he might pass out, becoming more and more flustered the more you blush. Although, a pleased smirk graces his face because oh~ you like when he flirts with you, huh? It’s okay, he’s hella into you too.Together, you’re just a ticking time bomb of gushy feelings and sexual tension. He figures if he wants to have any chance of confessing his feelings to you tonight, his best option is to lead you out of the way and put a little distance between you two and the crowd. So, he reaches out and gently takes your hand, pulling you along to the now vacant bar with an extremely forced and up tight grin.

Husk is standing behind the counter, looking not as irritated as you’d thought he would tonight. Luci pulls out a stool for you, gesturing for you to sit before he does because he’s a gentleman and ladies always go first. “Hey. Whatcha want, doll?” Husk ask you first, giving you a wink after you answer. “And for you, sir?” He eyes Lucifer who shakes his head, politely refusing his offer. As Husk begins whipping up your drink, yet another tense silence falls between you two.

“Are you having a good time?” The blonde finally speaks up, side eyeing you. “Eh. I’m not a big party person. I’m not a fan of big crowds either so…not really.” At long last, your unhappy and disappointed attitude brings all of Lucifer’s courage and gall to his mouth. Now’s his chance. “Let’s get out of here then.” He blurts out as Husk slides your drink to you, the bartender giving you an awkward look. “What? But all these folks wanna meet you.” Once you look over to him, a devious smile makes its way to Lucifer’s thin lips as you take your first drink. “And? I’m the king of hell! I do as I please.” He teases and now you’re both smiling brightly, a soft laugh leaving your lips as you push his arm playfully. “I love Charlie but I hate this party. Let me finish my drink first, yeah?”

Lucifer continues to side eye you and also scan over the entire room, checking out the scene as you sip on your drink. You can see his casual glances and the way he quickly diverts his attention as soon as you catch him staring. Now you’re the one feeling some bravery. You quickly and smoothly slip your hand into his, letting your thumb rub back and forth across his knuckles as you try to quickly suck down the rest of your drink.

The grip you have on each other grows stronger, tighter with each second that passes. You notice Lucifer bouncing his leg now, growing impatient and needy. As soon as a slurping noise comes from the straw at the bottom of your glass, Lucifer is trying to pull you up off your seat. He’s not worried about hiding his eagerness from you at this point, not when you’re looking like you do now and getting so blushy and shy at his flirtatious comments. He has to shoot his shot, he has to try. You’re the only person who’s made him feel young and love sick again after Lilith, he can’t afford to let you slip away too. That would crush him more than the weight of the embarrassment and discomfort he is feeling right now.

Lucifer leads you to the library, doubting anyone would be occupying it at the moment and he is correct. Finally, alone together, his hand in yours still, fingers interlocked. His big eyes, full of worry and second thoughts stare deep into yours as he gives himself a moment.

“Oh, my. Where do I even begin?” His other hand comes to yours, holding them both oh so delicately. “You…I’m so….” You nod, smiling to give him some encouragement to continue. “I want you so bad. I want to hold you, I just want to touch you already. I need to kiss you. (Y/N), I love you-“

You’re not sure what came over you but now your hands are exploring his blonde locks, your lips moving feverishly against his. Besides the faint, far away music playing, all you two could hear was each other’s soft gasps and the smacking of wet lips. At first, Lucifer was very engaged in the kiss but he was hesitant to touch you, unsure of where to put his hands. Like hell he wants to rest his claws on your hips or your butt, but he waits for you to give him the okay, his hands balled into fists and held up near his shoulders.

Finally letting him have his way, you guide his hands to your torso before breaking the kiss to whisper, “It’s okay, Luci. You can touch me.” It’s more of a whimper than a whisper but Lucifer isn’t complaining in the slightest. The tone of your voice and the feeling of finally touching your perfectly soft body had his eyes glowing bright red now.

Quickly and without warning, he crashes his lips back into yours sloppily, his long forked tongue gently gliding across your lip, giving the slightest bit of attention to your teeth. He would devour every bit of you right now if you only asked. He wished you would ask right now. He’d even beg for it…You happily let your mouth open more, inviting him in as his arms slowly stretch their way around you until he’s holding you tightly against him. Lucifer squeezes you tightly as he savors your taste for a moment, pulling a soft whine from you before loosening up.

With your eyes closed, you tried to just follow his lead and do your best at impressing and arousing him but he’s sort of doing the same. He hasn’t been with anyone like this in so long, he’s rusty as hell. So, yall are an absolute mess. After about a minute of wild making out and rapidly moving hands, you’ve found yourselves on the floor. The two of you sit up on your knees, holding onto each other as if your lives depend on it. Your hands held his cheeks so tenderly, pulling his face as close to your own as you possibly could.

Lucifer couldn’t help but smile against your mouth, a soft laugh leaving him as he remembers all those nights he dreamt of this exact situation- you looking beautiful and magnificent as always and him having the freedom to let his hands roam your darling figure. He’s been craving you, dreaming of you, wishing for you, praying for you. The laugh that escapes him results in you pulling back to get a look at him. And fuck was he gorgeous- hair a disheveled mess, the purple shadow on his eyelids smudged ever so slightly, his once impressive suit now wrinkled and shifted awkwardly on him, his lips still shiny from your saliva, his breathing loud and heavy and his smile just kept getting bigger, toothier.

“What are you laughing at?” Lucifer rests his forehead against yours, his eyes moving across your breathless, flushed face, just dying to know what’s on your mind now. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you for ages, darling. More than I’ve wanted anything in my entire existence, I’ve wanted to be alone with you like this.” A breathy giggle leaves you, your hands shaking as they travel down from his face to his biceps.

“Oh really? Why don’t you stop telling me and…keep showing me?” You tease, your hands coming to rest on his puffed out chest. Your touch combined with your sweet flirting and breathy voice has all of his wings popping out momentarily. You can’t help but laugh at this, but Lucifer is all business right now. You told him to show you, and oh darling, he’s gonna teach you a whole lesson on how beautiful and ethereal you are to him…and he’s gonna teach you with only his hands and his mouth.

[missmisandrytabletalk]

I'm sure every woman in her lifetime must have wondered atleast for once about how most of these cuss words are associated with women and animals. I did too. Countless times actually. Even felt guilty about the times I blurted those words out loud in frustration. Contemplated but then spiraled back into uttering it involuntarily as a teen. It's like we are programmed by patriarchy to correlate women and animals with being useless, easy to tame and discipline. How we are made to refer women in a condescending tone as she is some sort of a male's property that got vandalised so now every other male deems her as a corrupted and vile woman. The ownership and control these moids boast about having over women and their bodies is disgusting. These moids need to keep the mothers and daughters out of their filthy mouths. And bitch which is literally a female dog I mean are we kidding? The dogs got more dignity than these degenerates. "You're such a cunt!" "Oh don't be a pussy!" Well bold of you to assume I'm not. The same degenerates of fucking mistakes who were pushed out of their mum's vagina still want to have a conversation about what's tougher??? the balls or the vags? The audacity to include divine and nurturing beings like mothers in your cuss words should be an abomination in itself.

Various studies show that males indulge in way more profanity than women. When they have no point to prove, they resort to profanity. When they want to demean someone, they resort to cussing. Male humour practically revolves around who will cuss out more slurs. They find out ways to mock women and make them feel like sex toys. The topic of discussion for males always remains the same. A dad who meets up with his childhood homies, a brother who invites his friends over to a sleepover, a son chatting with his college pals on the phone, a husband throwing a party for his male colleagues. They will unabashedly continue to uphold this status quo since it brews a sense of power in their heads. The idea of having power over women excites them.

[sashi-ya]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ エロチックトバー２０２４> MDNI / EXPLICIT CONTENT

DEEP DESIRES 🦊 ADULT! KUROSAKI ICHIGO X F! READER ＫINKTOBER DAY 5: DADDY/MOMMY

🐙 requested by: anonymous. Sorry! Female reader, I really don't mind which you choose 😅Day 5: kinda like a breeding kink, but focused on the idea of both of them becoming "mommy" and "daddy" gets off on referring to reader as a future mommy, wants her to call him daddy 👀 ⚠️ tw: mdni. explicit content. adult! ichigo. he is already married. passionate/ kinda rough love making. pregnancy mentioned. oral. fingering. vag sex. creampie implied. mommy and daddy terms used. 🐙 wc: 1k // kinktober 24 masterlist // join the taglist

An October afternoon, fully depicting what autumn could provide, found your tired bodies from work, laying on the couch. What was happening on the tv in front of you, became irrelevant, merely background noise.

Soft, orangey light of a fall sunset, filled that tiny apartment. It was cozy; it was, perhaps, too little. Yet, it was enough for the both of you…

Your cheek landed on Ichigo’s lap; it was beautiful to look up and see his tangerine hairs shine with an equal toned sun light. Tiny freckles on his cheeks, also mapping his skin like stars in the sky. Such a handsome man, a strong, good man. Who wouldn’t like to make him the father of your child?

Father… of my child…

His hand, pretty much on the manly and veiny side but still delicate, slid from your back down and into your belly. It was easy for him as you lay on your side, resting on his lap, snuggled while he sat back in that tiny couch.

“I don’t wanna keep translating that document… I don’t feel like doing anything” he complained about his job; small talk to fill the ambience, to deviate a sudden thought that had invaded his mind just now.

“Then don’t; just rest for now” you murmured, planting a sweet peck on his leg. Your nails traced patterns on his knee, coming up towards his crotch like a crawling trail of playful naughtiness.

“Or you could “do” me” you continued, giggling oh so innocently. Ichigo blinked a couple of times; his eyes were hit directly by the sun, turning them into fire. Maybe, the same fire burning inside him. He looked at you, with a playful glint in those orangey beads, and pressed your belly softly down.

“Well, what I was thinking actually is to “make” you, a mother” he informs; he has never been this ready in his whole life.

You gasped, softly. Of course, you thought of it before, and somehow, something inside of you made sure to be absolutely ready as well.

Slowly, and maybe a little bit sexily, you stood up from your “worm” position. You crawled on Ichigo’s lap, a bouncy one since your silence had made him a little anxious. Your index finger traced a line down his jaw, with a naughty smirk on your lips.

“You wanna make me a “mommy”, “daddy”? you asked, never once you had spoken that perverted.

Ichigo inhaled a big gasp of air through his straight nose, closed his eyes for some seconds, and once he had calmed himself his sight fixed back on you. Sloppy eyelids, and a serious façade tinted his face.

His fingers buried deeply into your hip sides; it was as if he was barely controlling himself, almost as if a single movement from you could unleash a beast, a Vasto Lorde perhaps…

And indeed, what a beast your husband can be

Still in silence, he lifted you up, carrying your weight over his broad shoulder towards the room you both share. He can be as sweet and delicate, as the total opposite; and, that day, Ichigo seemed to have picked the wild side.

You flew from his shoulder to the bed. The mattress received your body, engulfing you into its softness.

“Spread those legs for me, because believe me today you WILL become a mommy” Ichigo said, crawling in between your open thighs.

You were both startled and excited; how delicious was to see your man so desperate to stuff you and create an eternal bond from both of your bloods.

“Ba-babe… yes” you stuttered in between some giggling, as he ripped your shorts and underwear off.

He lifted your legs and let them fall on top of his shoulders. Kneeled, Ichigo positioned himself to desperately access your core with his tongue. With a hand on your lower belly, pressing down as he sucked, he made your back arch, and your mind go blank.

On the verge of explosion, he stopped, only to use his fingers. Sliding them inside your core, he enjoyed the total raptured expression on your face.

From your lips, mindless words were coming out; Yet Ichigo wanted to be called, to be referred in a rather different way… if this was the case in which you were becoming a future “mommy”, then a proper term must be used to named him as well.

His hand got your cheeks, pressing them with a delicate violence.

“You know how much I like to imagine you as a mommy, mh?” he asked, as his curled fingers hit in beckoning motions your G spot.

“I didn’t know… babe I… ngh” you answered, or rather babbled.

He frowned; taking his fingers from you, letting you rest for maybe a couple of seconds while he took of his shirt and unzipped his pants.

As always, you ended up dazed, in awe for the detailed perfection of your husband’s anatomy; a substitute Shinigami that should be a captain, well trained, strong, delicious.

His chest, garnished by beads of sweat, went up and down as his heart pumped rapidly and oxygen seemed not to be enough to supply his growing erection. He had not been touched, but he was burning from desire.

And as hard as his abs, that was exactly how his sex, impressively erected, presented to you. “Daddy” seemed eager to accomplish such status…

Slapping open your legs, he slid in between them. His hands fell on each side of your face, and his sunset hair framed a desperate face. Panting, almost unable to stop his hips from searching your entrance, he simply stated a couple of words;

“From now on, you will call me daddy… because that’s exactly what it takes to make you a mommy…”

A thrust that you swore it could had pierced your organs took you by total surprise; the deliciousness of that first intrusion, made you carve marks on his wide back. Red marks for sure were left there.

All Ichigo’s body weight was carried by his spasming arms, that you from time-to-time bite as he kept ramming into you.

“Ichi- Daddy, I’m close… please, don’t stop…” you begged, hugging his waist with your legs, carving your heels on the small of his back.

Climax was closer, your walls spasmed, your muscles trembled and your back arched.

“Daddy isn’t stopping until mommy is very, very full of his cum…”

And indeed, that little apartment soon turned into a bigger home; it became pretty little for daddy, mommy and that little thing coming its way…

Taglist of amazing babes: @awas-posts @missfuriosa @theneighbourhoodferret @cyberdazetragedy @ariesbbytings @animesnowstorm @lenablack9919

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Puppy Love 2: Fanfiction

Cherri: Hey, Fuckheads! (Waves her phone in the air) Didja see that someone's been writing cringy fanfiction about the hotel and its occupants?!

Angel: What?! No way! Send us a link to the page! I gotta see this!

Cherri: (puts the user link in the Hazbin group chat)

Angel: Whoa-ho-hoa! What's with some of these ships?! NifftyDust?! Who pairs me with Niffty?! They also got me with Pen's Egg Bois!

Niffty: Awwww, I was hoping it would be with that bad boy at the club! Oh! I'm in a polyship with the Vees!

Cherri: Ha! StaticRadio is another big one for this writer. Never would have thought Vox and Alastor would be a mutual pining.

Alastor: (glitches out) What did you say???? (Peers over Cherri's shoulder) Oh, Zestial and Carmine are a ship, and they also put me with Rosie. That's not so bad.

Cherri: (reading one of the three Explicit rated works) Even if Rosie is pegging you with her ex-husband's dick?

Alastor: (Wendigo screeches echo through the hotel)

Husker: Why am I the hotel slut????? This guy's got me paired with literally everyone in the hotel!!!

Charlie: ......Everyone?

Husker: Even you, Princess. (Slams a bottle of Everclear) I need to forget I ever read this.

Lucifer: WHO PAIRED ME WITH SERA?!?!?!?! Who the Unholy Hell is Carmilla Carmine?! I'm paired with her, too!!!

Cherri: Awwwww~ I'm mostly paired up with Pentious..... okay, there's one for Angel. (Shrugs) Eh... Not the worst, but still not my thing.

Charlie: They can't be that bad, right? (Checks the page) I'M PAIRED WITH LUTE AND EVE?!?!?!?!?!?! (Scrolls feverishly) I DON'T HAVE A SINGLE WORK WITH VAGGIE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Hazbins: (pause)

Angel: Wait a minute.... (scans through the ships) There ain't a single one of us paired with Vags.

Charlie: (plasters her face to Angel's) Who IS she paired with???

Angel: Some bitch named Emily? (Scrolls) Looks like about half of these fics are Vaggie and Emily.... With one rated E fic, too..... (Taps random fic) "Emily knew this could only end badly, but the way the fallen angel stared at her with a smoldering eye made her go weak at the knees. The two reached out and..." What the fuck??? (squints) "Passionately held hands"???

Charlie: (eyes bleed red as she scrolls up to the Author Name) Who's writing these?

Vaggie: (finally bothering to open the link and reads the page username) "Em-Emmie-E"

Charlie: (eye twitches, and she roars so loud that all of Pride can hear) EMILY!!!!!!!

-Meanwhile: In Heaven-

Emily: (watching Hell like it's the latest episode of Days of Our Lives and taking notes)

EMILY!!!!!!

Emily: (fumbles her notebook) Oh, peach crumble!

[ghostyeyestohide]

Just The T(hree)wo of Us

(I Put A Spell On You Part 3)

Pairing: Terrance (Foe) x Valerie (Plus Size Black Fem OC) x Junior (Foe) x Hen (Foe)

Warnings: SMUT, 18+ (MINORS, SCROLL AWAY), buildup (if you got the attention span of a squirrel, DONT READ), threesome, bxb, oral sex (f receiving, m receiving), titty sucking/fondling, bisexuality (from m and slightly, non-sexual from f), deepthroat (m and f), smoking, double vag penetration, masturbation, choking, ass eating , some femdom, some masdom, grinding, some slapping, dirty talk, praise kink, hair pulling, creampie (Terrance to Valerie), voyeurism, cussing, aftercare, drinking, drunk/high behavior, some jealousy, some angst, mentioning of upbringing (how they met), mentions of sexual harassment, mention of blood, and Non-Canon/Canon.

Parts: Part One • Part Two

Summary: After eating dinner, dancing with each other, and putting Hen in bed to rest from her drunkness, the remaining trio spend time together when things take a steamy turn.

A/N: It’s here. My version of the perfect threesome that should’ve happened for Foe. This was the one I was looking the most forward to because literally, despite the ever-growing homoeroticism tension between the men (which anyone who watched or read this felt) and just the chemistry we got between Aaron, Paul, and Saoirse, we got nothing. I felt like we got blue balls because how do you film that and not give us the gay shit or the bi shit? Also, some of the scientific things in here might be confusing, but this is a fanfiction after all. Hope y’all enjoy it!

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do not copy or repost my work. I do not authorize it.

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The couples eat quietly at the table, saying a few words to each other. A few quick glances, drinking some of their wine, some laughter, and utensils move around.

Junior sips his wine as he looks at Valerie, clearing his throat.

“So. Valerie.” he says, making her look at him.

“Yes?”

“I know this is your last night here and we do appreciate you for staying with us in our home, even if we didn’t make you feel like it. But, we were wondering…”

“How did you two meet?” asks Hen, butting in.

“Me and…”

“Terrance.”

“Oh! I thought you meant me and your husband! Got a little worried there.” she said, making everyone laughing.

She clearly her throat as she looked at Terrance, who was patiently waiting for her to tell it.

“Well. What’s a romantic story without a sad background, right?” she smiled a little, grabbing his hand to hold as everyone nodded.

“I’m originally from New York, as you can tell since this gorgeous man is very British.” she chucked. “But yeah. I was born there, but I’m not sure whether I was born in a hospital or on the streets because from what they told me, I was abandoned a few hours later in Inwood Hill Park.” she added.

“Oh my god.” said Hen, clutching her chest.

As she was about to speak again, Valerie feels her chest heating up, causing her to gently rub it.

“You okay?” asked Terrance.

“Mmhm. I just feel a little funny when I tell this story.”

“We can stop if you want.”

“No, no. It’s okay.” she said, squeezing his hand. “But, because they couldn’t find my parents, specifically my mother, I was placed in foster care. Not that I have an interest in finding them now cause I really don’t care. I bounced around a lot growing up. Some years, I was in Washington Heights. Other years, Harlem. And for the last three years of high school, Jamaica. A neighborhood in Queens, not the country, in case you got confused. But, because of this, my grades weren’t that great, but I still managed to pass for the year and that was fine with me. I knew I wasn’t going to college not because I couldn’t afford it, but I didn’t really think I had a future.”

She takes a sip of her wine as she carefully grabs one of Terrance’s hands and place it under her stomach, signaling to keep it eye on it.

“I was also picked on a lot for how I looked. Classmates, friends, roommates, even strangers. Same story you probably heard about any plus size person getting told about their health, compared to animals, statues, cars, food, even books. But that wasn’t bothering me as I got older. It was when they were saying no one was gonna love someone like me, no wonder your people abandoned you, you’re a failure, and like those kind of mean things. That’s like something you can’t get really get rid of and you just gotta hide it in your face or they’re gonna think you’re weak, even if you know that’s not true. As soon as I turned 18, I noticed I started getting treated differently.”

“You did something good?” asked Junior.

She shakes her before taking another sip, feeling the sensation growing a bit, making her feel a bit uneasy.

“Maybe I shouldn’t drink more of that.” she mumbled, pushing her glass towards Terrance, who takes it.

“Did you wanna change your…” he asked, signaling her tab.

“Mmm. Not yet. It’s not….messing with me.” she replied before clearing her throat. “Sorry, where was I? Oh right. When you become legal, I guess most men start paying attention? I mean, I was always getting that, but always rejected it since I was underage and didn’t want to deal with an older boyfriend like some girls unfortunately get groomed into doing. I had a boyfriend who was treating well until he felt like he can do better and just abandoned me. And of course, it was getting worse as I was getting harassed, stalked, and degraded almost every day that I had to quit so many jobs so I can avoid it. Of course, this was annoying my group home a lot since they felt like I was lazy when I’m just protecting myself?”

The sensation began winding down as she shifted in a her seat, fixing her posture.

“This went on until three months before my 21st birthday. The day after I quit another job, my friend told me that this post Columbia graduation party was looking for waitresses to serve drinks, offering $7.50 per hour + tips to work, as long as you were 21 and above. I declined because I wasn’t that age and of course, she knew I was gonna say that because she immediately pulled out a fake I.D. with my face and fake information on there. So now, I can’t say no!” she said, making everyone laugh.

“Oh, you sound like you loved trouble.” said Hen, smiling at her.

“Hen!” said Junior, irritated at her comment.

“It’s okay, she’s not wrong. It’s New York after all. Hope y’all get to visit one day.” said Valerie as she took a sip of her water.

“We get to the party, dressed in our black tie, white dress shirt, black slacks, and black shoes uniform. It was starting off fine because everyone was behaving well, socializing, congratulating each other, you know, just being proud of finishing their degree. But like three hours later, almost everyone is torn up. Like, once all of the adults and responsible people left, the hard drinking, dancing, making out, joking around shit started. It was slightly getting bad that we had to secretly switch the alcohol out with water so we weren’t responsible for anything that happens.” she continued.

“I went on break finally. And as I was sitting in an area where we were allowed, this group of drunken male graduates came up to me. I already knew what the hell was about to happen, so I was preparing to get away. The ringleader, as I like to call him, started harassing me and was like show your tits, I’ll pay you a $1000 to see em and was waving the money in my face. I almost gave in, but I knew better, so I said no and got up to leave, but his friend immediately shoves me back into seat, hovering over me. They beginning degrading me, saying I’m just a big bitch who shouldn’t have standards since I’m not worthy, probably waiting until someone richer than them picks me, and basically the I’m a nice guy monologue that Hen would probably know so many different versions of.” she said, looking at her.

“Oh, please. We’ll be here all night.” she replies.

“See! She knows the feeling. As I’m getting bombarded….this tall, beautiful guy comes up, cursing them out. Telling them to fuck off, you don’t wanna try me, I’ll whoop your ass in what I thought was very old New Yorker accent and they went finally away, ending the tormenting.”

“I can’t believe you really thought I was from there.” said Terrance, gently pulling her into him.

“I mean, you did sound like you could’ve been raised in Hyde Park, but then again, it was late. But, he made sure I was okay, ask what was my name and we talked for very long time, very into everything I was saying. How he was from South London, was on a scholarship here, and now, just got his bachelor’s in bioinformatics, with a minor in space studies. Which told me he was the real deal. And he was starting at OuterMore very soon, working on the then-developing living in space program. Then I got kicked out.”

“What?” said Hen.

“Why?” asked Junior.

“The guys complained and I was late from my break. So, I didn’t get paid. However, he came out, apologized for what happened and walked me home. He paid more than what I was suppose to get, but I didn’t want to take it at first. Kept telling him I wasn’t one of those girls, but he reassured that he knew that, giving me his number to call him.” she said, rubbing his face.

“She was very nervous. I guess she was worried I was wasting her time, just trying to smash and go like they were calling it, but I wasn’t. Most of the women I’ve dated had everything they worked that most successful men were looking to have on their arm. But me? I was just looking for someone that will make me happy, regardless of what they brought to the table. We went on a few dates to places she never been to, went shopping for new clothes, took her to do things she always wanted to do. All to see her smile, feeling the love that she always wanted.” said Terrance, rubbing her side.

They both looked at Hen and Junior, who were connecting very closely to the story they’re hearing, sitting closer to each other.

“I can remember the day I moved out of my group home. Or, should I say, kicked out. They were upset that I was, once again, seeing Terrance for another date instead of getting another job that I got accused of being his sugar baby, which didn’t make sense as Terrance is only three months older than me. So, I fought one of them.” she said, laughing at the last part.

“She called me crying, telling me what had happened and I told her she can’t stay there much longer. So, I drove over there as fast as I could and helped her move everything she owned into the car. She got her file, which had her birth certificate, social security card, and other documents that were very important and we left.”

“Were they fawning over you when you arrived?” asked Hen.

He scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“…it was fucking pathetic, Hen. Really. I told her not to hang up as she was packing whatever she could while I was on my way, and the whole time, they were insulting her. Saying the most disrespectful things over an assumption they made. But when I showed up, the energy changed. Oh wow, you’re cute, this is the guy Val’s been seeing?, you don’t need her, you need me like absolutely pathetic.”

“I moved into his place and we stayed in, order some Indian for take out. While we were eating, he asked me what do I see myself doing if this relationship went further, saying it’s okay to be honest….so I told him the truth. I didn’t want to work at all. I just wanted to be a stay-at-home wife and mom, taking care of the house, cooking since that’s what I like to do, cleaning if its needed, crocheting, reading, just being home while he worked. And, I broke down crying, feeling like I wasn’t the girl he wanted to be with since I have nothing remotely close to his achievements to offer. But instead of confirming it, he kissed me, saying he didn’t care about me not having shit. He just cared about being in love with me and bringing me along his journey with OuterMore.” she smiled, eyes begin tearing up.

“About three days later, I got a call from my supervisor. He said he wanted me to begin working with them as an agent immediately instead of continuing to be their associate, being impressed with the work in my portfolio. After I accepted the offer, I went to this jewelry store she liked and bought her dream engagement ring.” he said, looking at her and the ring on her left hand.

“He proposed to me at Inwood Hill a few hours later. Saying after six months of dating, listening to my past for hours, and thinking about the future I see for us, he decided that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, wanting to take care of me and our family. I said yes, obviously. Then, that Thursday of the week, after buying our wedding bands, we eloped at a courthouse in lower Manhattan. I wore this creamy silk dress with a white fur sleeve, sparkly white pumps, natural makeup, a side part that the Hollywood Divas had, a red lip, and matching diamond choker and earrings. With these gorgeous red buds as my bouquet.” she says, staring into the distance.

“And I wore a black suit and black shoes, not wanting to outshine her.” he adds, making them both laugh.

“We went to Miami for our honeymoon. Had so much fun being in the sun and going to salsa clubs. Then, we headed Cleveland, where he started the work on the program.”

“And now here we are. 8 years later.”

“Still going strong.” she said, hold her hand up to look at her engagement and wedding ring.

Terrance smiled, gently placing his hand with his band over hers. Hen watched them, fascinated by their love story while Junior looked at them with a puzzled look on him face.

“Is there a reason you haven’t welcomed a baby yet?” he asked, skepticism filling his voice.

Terrance sends a glare, stiffening up. Valerie looks at Junior, panicking in silent as she fights the urge to not reveal her true self. She squeezes his hand, hoping to calm down.

“I work too much.” said Terrance, relaxing his jaw. “I always wanted to have kids when we are ready. But, because I’m too focused on my assignments, I don’t wanna bring in babies if I’m not gonna be there for them. Or her.”

“Well. I hope you do have some. You two would be amazing parents.” said Junior before he gets up and walks out, stunning everyone.

“….did you say something wrong?” said Valerie, finally calming down.

“No. Let him be. He’s probably going back to his old self slowly. Which is normal for replicas to do when the real one is coming back.” said Terrance, looking down.

“I wanna apologize about what I said to you yesterday, Valerie. I shouldn’t have assumed that you were using him when I was just reacting negatively to how both of you loving each other while….me and him can’t do the same. What I said came from a place of hate and I’m sorry that I even said it.” said Hen, with an apologetic look in her eyes.

“…I accept your apology. But let me just tell you this as a way for you to understand: if it can’t get fixed after it’s broken….just let it go.” said Valerie, sending a small smile to her.

Hen nods shakily, understanding what she meant by that. Valerie wipes her face before standing up, fixing herself.

“Dinner was delicious, but Ima go change before I eat some of my cake. Don’t be greedy while I’m gone.” she said, kissing Terrance’s forehead before heading towards the stairs.

“Baby, wait.” he mumbles, following her.

“Hm?” she says, turning around to face him.

He steps closer, wrapping his hands around her waist, before placing a long, sweet kiss on her lips. She wraps her hands around his neck, kissing him back. She breaks it, catching her breath as he smiled, resting his chin on her head.

“Just because I’m in your embrace, it doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. Well, at least not yet. Understand?” she says, letting go of him.

“Yes, ma’am.”’ he replied quietly, watching her walk up the stairs.

“….you really do love her.” said Hen.

“She’s all I have. And I’m all she has.” he responds, walking back into the dining room, and picking up their plates before heading to the kitchen. Hen takes a swigs of her wine before getting up to do the same thing.

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Changing out of her dress to a black, silky wrap dress that enhances her chest by pushing them up, she stands in front of the bathroom mirror, taking in her beauty.

Looking down, she unzips a black pouch and opens it up. Inside, its holds full and empty tabs: mini bullet shaped tablets, covered in the ‘OuterMore’ logo and serial numbers, that holds a light green liquid, specialized to keep her up and running without ever going bad. She changes it monthly since that’s how long it lasts, getting a yearly supply.

Picking up her magnetic tool, she places it on her upper left tricep, watching it connect to a spot, which lights up a glowing, white ‘OuterMore’ circular logo before it opens, sticking out a bloody covered empty tab. Using a cotton pad, she pulls it, disconnecting it from its hold. feeling the pressure releasing. Picking up a new one, she groans as she inserts it, feeling it connect before the circle sucks it, closing it.

Afterwards, she cleans the empty tab before placing it in the pouch and zipping it, washing her hands before walking out of the bathroom. After closing the door, she turns to head back down, but is stopped as Junior stands in front of her, leaning against the wall. She puffs, giving him a stern look.

“Whatever you’re about to say, I don’t wanna hear it.” she states as she turns.

Junior grabs her arm, gently pulling back and pinning her against the door. He steps into her space, breathing hard.

“If you mention it to Hen, I swear….”

“You swear to what? You’re gonna hurt me? Reveal that I got turned on by you watching us fuck like an audience member watching a play? Because he already knows and if anything, it makes him want you even more.” she said, tracing over his face.

Junior, alarmed by her reaction, steps back slowly. She smiles evilly, leaning forward.

“This isn’t over. This is just the beginning.” she whispered, glaring at him before heading downstairs.

Junior leaned against the wall, trying to figure out what she was meant by that.

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Junior walks into the kitchen and grabs a beer. As he grabs a seat in the dining room, he overhears a song playing in the living room.

He looks and sees Hen sitting on the edge with a glass of wine as Valerie was eating some of her cake. They were watching Terrance, smoking and drinking, walk around the room as he began to recite the lyrics of the song playing:

I did not become someone different

That I did not want to be, as he walks to where Junior was watching, smoking his blunt before blowing the smoke out and putting up his fist.

But I'm new here

Will you show me around?, he said, looking at both Hen and Valerie.

“Maybe.” Hen replies in a flirty way.

“Watch it.” said Valerie, looking at her. Hen throws her hands up in a surrendering way as Terrance starts walking towards them slowly.

No matter how far wrong you've gone, he says, posing in front of them.

You can always turn around, as he nods with the blunt positioned in front of him, making all of them laugh as he takes another hit.

Met a woman in a bar, as he blows out the smoke and takes a seat between the women, sitting slightly closer to Hen.

Told her I was hard to get to know, as Junior walks in, taking a seat in one of the chairs across from the trio.

And near impossible to forget, as Valerie looks at him.

She said I had an ego on me, as Terrance leans in her space.

The size of Texas, as he kisses her neck, surprising her, who hits him in his chest, making him and Hen laugh.

Valerie grabs his wrist with the blunt, hits it, and blows in face before kissing him passionately, both fighting for control before she breaks it, chuckling on his shoulder. He smiles as he leans near Hen, who is slowly getting even more drunk as Junior watches, having an invidious look on his face.

“Ready?” asked Terrance.

No matter how far wrong you've gone, as him and Hen sang, with the latter mumbling it.

“Yeah..go..1, 2, 3, 4.” he whispered, holding an invisible microphone in front of her.

You can always turn around, as the trio sang happily, smiling and giggling.

“Wow, we’re all fucked.” said Valerie as she nibbled on her slice.

Terrance lets out a laugh as he places his glass on the table before leaning back and smoking. Valerie sips some of her wine as she gently rubs his thigh, making him send her a lustful look.

And I'm shedding plates like a snake, as Hen gets up, placing her glass on the table.

She does a playful hissing and snake hand motion towards Junior, who gets up to get away, but she pulls him back, begging him to stay. They spin for a moment as Valerie and Terrance, now laid out on the couch, watches.

“That’s it, man!” said a gleeful Terrance as Hen begins to kiss on Junior’s neck, making him blush. He looks at Valerie with an itch in his eye before leaning close to Hen’s ear, face dropping.

“I don’t want you two talking about me anymore.” he says loudly, but Hen ignores, still rubbing and kissing on him.

Terrance chuckles as Valerie watches with pity, feeling very bad for Hen in this moment. Junior begins kissing back, but she slowly begins to pull away, mood becoming sour.

“Hey, that’s it! That’s the spirit!” said Terrance, not understanding what’s going on as his eyes are half closed.

“Don’t make this even worse, baby.” said Valerie, sipping more.

Hen angrily walks off, leaving Junior alone with his embarrassment. She goes to their music box in the dining room and cuts the song abruptly, snapping Terrance out of it.

“….what happen?” he asks, looking at Junior, who looks back at him.

“Your hardheaded subject is a fucking mood killer.” said Valerie as she got up with her glass, walking to where Hen was.

Terrance watches her in a confused manner as Junior stood there, said nothing. In the dining room, Hen is finding the next song as Valerie appears next to her.

“Hey. Are you okay?” she asks, placing her hand on her shoulder.

“I’ll be fine. He’s just cranky.” said Hen, still searching.

“You have got to stop excusing him, Hen.”

“Val, please. I don’t wanna…”

“Just find the song.” she said, slowly becoming irritated.

After a few more minutes of searching, she finds the song, pressing play on it:

“Oh, I love this song here!” Valerie exclaims, slowly moving to the beat.

Hen walks to where the wine bottle was, pouring the remaining inside her glass, and drinking it. She joins Val, dancing along to the beat.

“What happen?” Terrance asked again, looking at Junior, who is also dancing slowly.

“Ah, fuck it.” he replied.

“You didn’t like us singing?”

“No.”

Terrance lets out a laugh as Junior continues dancing, not paying him no mind.

“Oh, you’re in for a good time.” he mumbled, drinking out of his glass.

The women begin dancing with each other, doing a couple’s routine.

The boy could sing, knew how to move, everything, as they spanned.

Always wanting more, he'd leave you longing for, as they dipped.

Black velvet and that little boy's smile, as they sang.

Black velvet with that slow southern style, as they span again.

A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees, as Valerie turns Hen forward, bringing her close and places her hands on her hips.

Black velvet if you please, as they grinded slowly into a semi-squat, surprising Hen.

“Oh, so you get down like this?” she asked, standing up with her. Valerie laughed, gently moving them back and forth.

“Only if the men stopped dancing. Or if I’m attracted to you.” she replied, turning her around to face her.

Hen makes a giddy expression, wrapping her hands around her neck.

“So you’re saying I have a chance?” she asked curiously, making both of them smile.

“That’s only if you actually want to be with a woman. And based on everything I know about you, you don’t have it.” she replied, spinning them around as Hen gasped.

The way he moved, it was a sin, so sweet and true, as they span.

Always wanting more, he'd leave you longing for, as they dipped.

Black velvet and that little boy's smile, as they sang, off-key this time.

Black velvet with that slow southern style, as they span again.

A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees, as Hen turns Valerie forward, bringing her close and slowly creeping her hand around her neck

Black velvet if you please, as they grinded slowly into a semi-squat, with her gently squeezing it, making Valerie smirk.

“Liked the response, but you’re still not selling it.” she said, causing Hen to scoff as both women laugh.

Suddenly, they hear someone clear their throat. As they looked up, they see Junior leaned against the frame, staring at them with an exasperated look. Hen, scared of what he’ll do, steps back but falls after her dress catches the ledge of the chair.

“Ow!” she yelps.

“Wow! Two in a row for mood killing, Junior.” said Valerie as she kneels to help her.

“Oh, don’t act like you wasn’t just grinding on her!” he yells, now angry.

“It’s called dancing with each other to the vibe of the song, which sounds like you don’t quite understand!” she said, helping Hen up.

Hen groans, rubbing her head. Junior rolls his eyes, not saying anything before walking into the kitchen.

“I think I’m done for the night.” she mumbled, now sleepily.

“Want me to help you to bed?” asked Valerie.

Hen nods, putting her arm around her waist as she does the same. They began walking, passing Junior on the way out as Valerie looks at Terrance.

“Baby, can you be a good boy and bring Hen a slice of the cake, maybe two ibuprofens, and a glass of water?” she asks as they head up.

“Yeah. I’ll be up in a second.” said Terrance, getting up to walk to the kitchen.

Junior, drinking another beer, watches Terrance take out a plate and slicing a piece of the cake, plating it before grabbing a glass and filling it with water from the pitcher. Placing the glass near the plate, he examines the cabinet until he find the ibuprofen bottle and shakes out two pills, placing them on the plate.

“You’re fine with your wife dancing on mines like that?” Junior asks, breaking the silence.

“We been kissing behind their backs for months.”

“So? That doesn’t make it okay.”

“I guess you two are almost even.” he replies, grabbing the plate and glass, walking towards the stairs.

“And I’m suppose to carry on while you’re not even mad?!”

“Junior.” he says, turning to look at him. “She’s attracted to women. Always has been. I know her type. Hen’s not one of them.”

He continues walking, with Junior’s tensive gaze following him.

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Gently placing Hen in bed, Valerie moves over to let Terrance place the glass and plate on the nightstand before he goes out, closing the door behind him.

“Alright. When you wake up in the morning, you take at least one pill. If it’s even worse, take both. Eat some of the cake when you keep waking up. Helps with the nausea.” she said, placing the cover over Hen as the latter watches.

She gently traces over Valerie’s chest, making her breathe steady before removing her hands away. She leans forward, gently pushing Hen’s hair back.

“Hen. Don’t get me wrong, you are a beautiful woman. But, I know this is not what you truly want. You’re just doing this to get back at him for what he did tonight. Or you’re scared of the real Junior not meeting your needs when he comes home. Remember what I told you to do.” she states, looking at her.

She kisses her hands before getting up, walking to the door.

“…I don’t want him to go!” Hen cries out, sniffling.

Valerie sighs, turning to look at her.

“Then spend enough time with him tomorrow. At least you get an extra day alone with him. Try to treasure your memories before they take him.”

“And you feel nothing? Not even a bad feeling?”

“Like I said…..I’m used to it….I’m used to everything.”

She stood there, thinking about everything she’s witnessed since becoming a life long replica of Valerie. While there’s always the good moments, the bad ones seem to be the ones that stay in her mind as they shut them off after their final goodbye.

“Good night, Valerie.” said Hen, slowly closing her eyes.

“Good night, Hen.” she replied, walking out the door.

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As Valerie walks to her room, the door of the room, that Junior and Terrance were in earlier, opens. Terrance pops out, looking at her.

“Hey.” he says.

“Hey.” she says, smiling a little.

“Did you want to come and sit as I examine Junior?”

“Examine? Ain’t it a little too late for that?”

“Yeah, but……he seems a little…..tense. And I think you and I can help him with that.” he says, gently pulling her close.

“….are you insane? I thought you wouldn’t violate your policy, putting all of us in jeopardy!” she said, pushing him back. He laughs, pulling her back.

“We can erase it. It’s not hard and only takes 30 minutes. I can do it tomorrow after I take you home. Plus…”

He trails off as he places kisses on her neck, making her tense up, heat rising all over her.

“You admitted to him watching us. So Why. Don’t. We. Punish. Him?” he says in between kisses as he rubs her breasts.

Valerie laughs, moaning quietly as she rubs Terrance’s length through his pants while looking at a very shirtless, drunk Junior, who’s facing the wall, back towards them.

“Fine. As long as I’m in control.” she replied, walking into room.

“Always.” he whispers, closing the door behind him, which startles Junior.

“What the fuck, man?” he asked, turning to look at him.

He stops, looking at Valerie, who winks at him before taking a seat on the bed. Terrance walks over to a box, retrieving a small device dot as he turns on the control system, which detects breathing, water intake, and heartbeating.

“Valerie is going to sit in if that’s okay.” he says, looking at Junior.

“Yeah. That’s fine.” he replied, still looking at her.

Terrance walks over, standing on his right as he turns him forward while Valerie lays across the bed.

“Hold your arm up like this.” he says, gently lifting Junior’s arm up.

“Have you two been drinkinnnng?” he asks drunkly, holding the arm up.

“I think we all been drinking.” replied Valerie, making all three of them laugh.

Terrance places the dot on his armpit, looking at him while pressing it down to seal it. Junior looks at him, a glare in his eyes as Valerie watches.

“Is something bothering you?” he asks.

“Mmmm.” as he shakes his head.

“…I can feel it in you.”

“No….its more like an awakening.” he replied, lifting his left arm up.

Terrance nods, removing his hands as he turned to grab his glass of wine off the nightstand, walking back to the box as he signals Valerie to ask the next question on the paper next to her.

“And how has this awakening affected Hen?” she asks, making him turn to look at her in a discreetly manner.

He laughs, letting out a strange sound as Terrance watches.

“….are you working with OuterMore too?” he asks.

“What makes you think that?”

“Asking questions about Hen. Suddenly showing concern for her? Was that story you were telling earlier planned? Did he tell you to do that?”

“Oh yes. I faked everything for sympathy, especially for the one who’s trying to save their marriage.” she replied sarcastically, making Terrance laugh.

“You’re fucking sick. Him being here and asking questions about her is sick, you’re being okay with it—“

“Back at square one.” she mumbled.

“Everything is just fucking sick with you two.”

“Look, she was just wondering as it’s apart of the questions. You don’t have to be rude about it.” said Terrance as he places a bracelet on Junior’s left wrist.

“What is that?!” he says, looking at it.

“It monitors your hydration. Does she tells you what she likes?” he asks, handing Valerie a glass of water.

Junior looks at him, very confused about the question as Valerie scoots to lay against the railing, retrieving the water.

“…what’s that?”

Valerie chuckles, sipping her water as she knows where her husband is going with this.

“…your wife, Junior. Is she open and honest with her preferences?” asks Terrance, who’s voice goes a little deep.

“About what?”

“Come on…you know….fucking.” he replies with a delicious lustful tone on the last word.

Valerie groans a bit, slightly becoming aroused by his questioning as Junior, who is slowly becoming annoyed but turned on, stares at him.

“Is she explicit about what she likes?”

“You’re sick.” said Junior.

“What she needs.”

“Fuck you.” he said, giggling as Terrance continued.

“Every relationship depends on open and honest communication, you know that.” he says as he sits down in his chair.

“Oh, fuck you.”

“He’s not hearing it at all.” said Valerie, now rubbing her leg.

“It’s fine. Its fine. It’s just a conversation.” he says, giggling along with Junior, who now stares at the both of them.

Junior slowly gets up from his chair, turning it to face forward, before sitting down, keeping an intense glare on Terrance, who matches his energy.

“..do you enjoy playing with us?” asks Junior.

“People fascinate me. You-you two fascinate me.” said Terrance, looking at Valerie, who is now sitting forward.

“Is that how you keep your marriage alive?”

“….I listen to her preferences. Her needs. Her orders. Even if she doesn’t say it explicitly.” he replied, not taking his eyes off her.

“Oh. So you’re not the one in control.”

“Never was. And he wanted it that way.” said Valerie, getting up.

“Oh really?”

She nodded, gently tracing Terrance’s arms as she slowly walked around him, making him lick his lips.

“He was bored of being in control while making love, felt like it should be an equal thing that shouldn’t be looked down on. So, I asked him what did want me to do.” she says as she stands in front of him, facing Junior.

“….what did he say?”

“Bark orders. Tell him what to do, choke him, tease him, slap him, punish him, was into degrading until I got a little uncomfortable, and my favorite: denying him of release.” she says as she sits on his lap, feeling his length poking at her.

“Does he know you like being watched like a fucking whore would?” he asks, looking at the both of them.

Valerie chuckles as she begins kissing Terrance, grinding against his length, which makes him let out a few groans. Junior looks away, moving his hands to cover his now growing length. Terrance breaks the kiss, looking at him.

“She already admitted that when she told me you were there the night I was fucking her against the couch. The same day you got on your knees and sucked me off while Hen was out.” he said, making Junior look at him in an appalling way and Valerie laughing, getting up.

She knew they kissed a few times, but Junior blowing Terrance, even though he hates them? Oh, this just makes this night even more interesting and exciting for her.

“….I thought you weren’t real. Assumed the wife thing was just him lying about his attraction.” he confessed, looking at her with a pathetic look.

“So that’s why you were out there? You were hoping he was really alone so you two could fuck and Hen wouldn’t find out. Tsk tsk.” she replied, taking a swig from Terrance’s wine glass.

She gently tracing over Junior’s chest, taking in everything she just found out just in this moment. She slowly sits in his lap, hearing him wince as her ass rubbed against his length as Terrance looks on, gently rubbing his own.

“You know, baby…..you did a good job choosing the first man, I’ll give you that. But him though? Oh, you definitely wanted a brat to fuck.” she says, hearing Terrance chuckle.

“First man? You guys are open?” asks Junior.

“No. We’re almost that, but it was just me bringing home women I wanted to fuck and sharing with him. I don’t know what’s it called, but it’s that.” she says, wrapping her arms around him.

“You do this with all of your subjects? Risking your job while lying to their partners?” said Junior, getting heated.

“Don’t pretend you didn’t go along with it when you’re the one who made the first move.” said Terrance.

“Please. How many men have you said that to?”

“You’re the first one. I made sure to never hook up with any of the female subjects, wives, or girlfriends as a way to protect his job. Hell, I didn’t think he would actually get attracted to a man ever. Until he got assigned to you. And suddenly, you started to pop up in his mind…”

She begins moving her hips against his clothed length, making Junior hold in his groans as Terrance becomes even more aroused.

“He probably was thinking about you while he was fucking me. Imagining you twisted all up on the couch, stroking yourself as he pounds that attitude out of you, basically dominating you as you moaning under him.” she said, gently sucking his neck.

“My god, y’all are sick.” he whispered, groaning at the sensation of her essence soaking him.

She stops abruptly, making Junior hold a scowl at her. She removes her arms, placing them at her sides.

“So push me off. Since you hate it so bad. Be a real man like you are.”

He looks at Terrance, who is waiting for him to make the next move. Looking her up and down, he takes in her beauty, understanding why Terrance chosen her as his wife. Who wouldn’t want to be with this beautiful woman forever?

Looking down to where the string is, he pulls it, which unwraps and opens her dress, exposing her breasts and underwear. He removed it, tossing it to the side as he looks at her breasts, salivating at the roundness and hard nipples. He gently touches them until she raised his arms up, holding them hostage. She smiles at him, leaning in.

“You’re gonna obey me and Terrance. Which means no touching, including yourself, no fucking unless one of us tells you to move, and no disobeying. Understand?” she said, leaning over him.

“…yes.” he nodded, locking eyes with her.

Valerie motions Terrance to come to them, which he does. She gently pulls him down to her, placing a sloppy kiss on his mouth before turning back to Junior, who watches hungrily. She traces his mouth with her fingers before giving him a sloppy kiss as well, with him slightly fighting back.

“Don’t get too greedy, baby.” whispered Terrance, rubbing her back.

She pulls away, moving to the side a bit as she pulled Terrance to Junior, backing up to give them space. The men hesitated for a moment before embracing in a kiss, with Terrance wrapping his hand around Junior’s neck. She carefully slides out of Junior’s lap, walking to get a sip of water.

Terrance breaks the kiss, breathing very hard as he smirks at Junior, lust consuming the both of them. He picks him up by the neck, almost having him off his feet and suffocating him.

“What do you want to do with our toy?” he asks, looking at her.

She sips her water before walking over them, rubbing Junior’s face. She tugs at his pants, unbuckling them and removing it, leaving him with a growing tent in his underwear. She touches it, making him flinch before kissing his cheek.

“I want to see how he blew you. Wondering if he did a good job.” she said, kneeling down to her knees.

Terrance moans, letting Junior go and begins removing his clothes. Valerie motions Junior to kiss her on the neck, in which he does as she gently slides her hand into his underwear.

“Wow. You’re very hard and submissive.” she mumbled, gently stroking his length, making him moan quietly.

After throwing his underwear to the side, Terrance stands in front the duo, stroking his length as Valerie removes her hand, gently wrapping it around his length.

“Ladies first.” said Junior, making all three of them laugh.

Moving herself in position, she engulfs him into her mouth, earning a loud groan from Terrance. She grabs Junior’s hands and places them on her hair, signaling him to hold it. She continues sucking him, gently massaging his balls as she strokes the rest, keeping her eyes up at Terrance. Junior watches intensely, feeling warmth growing inside of him.

“You wanna make Hen happy? Let her take control in the bedroom.” said Terrance, groaning immediately as Valerie takes him out, catching her breath.

She moves back, letting Junior get in her position. Terrance lifts his face up, tapping the side of his mouth to signal ‘open’, which he does, sticking his tongue. He taps his tip on it, rubbing it for a few moments before sliding into his mouth, using his head as leverage as he begins fucking it. Junior, taken aback by the move, placing his hands on his thighs to push back, but receives a hard slap on his ass from Valerie.

“Put them down. Just breathe through your nose and keep your balance.” she says, pushing his arms down.

Terrance begins moving his hips forward, carefully going a sluggish pace as Junior tries to keep his balance, but pulls away, coughing very hard. Valerie laughs, standing next to him.

“Watch me.” she says, inserting Terrance’s length back into her mouth, but removing her hands.

He resumes his pace, with the sounds of her slurping and gagging filling up the room. She stops him, catching her breath. She gently strokes him as she guides Junior to his length by his neck.

“Do what I did. Just without falling or choking.” she whispers, inserting Terrence’s length into his mouth.

Junior focuses on breathing and keeping himself up as he matches his aggressive pace, hearing him moan loudly as he hits the back of his throat a few times. Valerie watches, aroused by him pleasuring her husband with his mouth.

Noticing how close Terrance was to his release, she removes his length from his mouth, making him exhale hard. He leans down to kiss her passionately before doing the same to Junior.

“Where do you want us next?” asked Terrance, looking at Valerie.

She points at the bed with her head before getting up to lay on it. The men followed, each sitting on one side of her: Junior on her right and Terrance on her left. She pulls the both men into a big kiss before moving each one to one of her breasts, in which both begin to suck, nibbling a bit.

“Fuck, that feels so good.” she moans, rubbing their heads.

Terrance begins kissing down to her pussy, rubs his hands over the lace as he looks up at Junior, who is now fondling her other breast with his hand.

“Baby, can you blow him for me as I devour you?” he asks, tracing Junior’s shoulder.

She nods as she gently removes him from her breasts, lies down on the bed, with her legs opening up for him as she ushers Junior into standing up in front of her. As she pulls down his underwear, his hard length bounces out, making her let out a gasp.

“Oh, you been waiting…” she says, wrapping her hands around it, gently stroking and placing kisses on it, making him close his eyes and groan at the sensation.

“Eyes on me, Junior.” she said, sliding her underwear down as Terrance removes it, propping her legs on his shoulders before licking her slit, making her flinch.

“You’re tense, huh?” he asked, looking at her before sucking her clit.

She lets out a few moans before engulfing Junior’s length into her mouth, stroking the rest that couldn’t fit. She places one of his hands on one of her breasts, signaling him to fondle it as Terrance inserts two fingers inside, gently plumping in and out of her.

The sounds of Junior’s moaning, Valerie’s gagging, and Terrance’s slurping fills the room as both Junior and Valerie feel their release building. Valerie pushes Terrance’s head down deeper as she gently massages Junior’s balls to add to the feeling.

Just as Junior was almost close, she releases his length from her mouth, watching it move up and down as the latter catches his breath.

“Is this what y’all meant?” he asks, falling next to her on the bed.

“Mmmhmm.” is all she could get out as Terrance sped up his pace, rubbing her clit while licking it.

After letting out a few more moans, she came very hard, wetting more of his face with her essence as she shooked under his hold. Letting out a pop! sound, he gets up, wiping his face before sucking off his fingers. He leans down and kisses her, biting her lip in the process.

“What’s our next order?” he asks.

“I want…I want you to fuck him.” she said exhaustively, tapping Junior’s leg.

Junior laughed before turning on his stomach, getting on his knees as Terrance retreats to retrieve a condom. Valerie looks up at him, who looks down at her.

“Remember: just breathe and don’t lost your balance…..unless the pain doesn’t simmer.” she said, touching his face.

He nods as Terrance returned, with a condom wrapped around his length and lube. He fixes his position, placing a pillow under his chest as he arched Junior’s back a little more. Lightly slapping his ass, he squeezes some lube on his hole, spreading it with his tip, watching it clench a few times.

“You begging for me real bad, huh..” he mumbled, gently poking at it.

“Don’t do that…..you’re gonna make me cum quickly.” Junior whines, trying to pull away, but receives a hard slap on his right cheek, making him let out a muffled yelp.

“Fix your posture. Don’t make me tell you again.”

Junior obliged, moving back towards him as he lined himself at his entrance. Holding his hips with one hand as the other inserts his length inside carefully, they both let out a loud groan, with Terrance leaning himself over him.

“Breathe, breathe, breathe.” whispered Valerie into Junior’s ear, rubbing his back as he let outs harsh breaths.

Terrance moved his hips a bit to fill in more, making Junior tense up bit. He pulls out, kneels down and begins to trace his hole with his tongue, giving him good licks, making him press backwards.

“Fuck…” mumbled Junior, not used to feeling this amazing pleasure, but it being done by a man. Boy, he hopes Hen never finds out about this.

Valerie gently kisses his back, locking eyes with Terrance, who is very focused on stretching Junior out. He stops, pushes him back gently, and re-inserts himself, this time fully inside. He begins a canny pace, smacking his ass with his pelvis.

“Is that the best you can do?” he asks, looking slightly at Terrance, who has an animality look on his face.

“You want that?” he replied, smiling with an evil smirk.

“…do it. Don’t be a pussy in front of her.”

Valerie’s jaw drops, holding in a laugh as she removed herself from his back. Oh, he definitely set something off in him because suddenly, Terrance grabs his neck to pull him towards his chest and begins going at a rapid pace, thrusting very hard.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” is all he could get out, feeling Terrance squeezing his neck hard, grunting loud in his ear.

“That’s it. Submit. To. Me!” he says, shoving Junior down to the bed, continuing his brutal pounding.

Junior’s moans fill the room as he fills himself building up again, clenching around him.

“It’s too much, please.” he whines, trying to push him back but gets his arms put in a hold, making him let out an evil laugh.

“Nah, be a good toy and taking it like a good one should.” he says, slapping his ass a few times.

As Terrance gives him a few more thrusts, he pulls out, preventing him and his own release and falls into the chair. Junior winces, once again being denied as the men catch their breaths. A few moments later, he gets flipped onto his back, feeling a condom being wrapped around his member.

“What’s next?” he asks weakly.

“Turn on your side.” said Valerie, pecking his nose.

He does so, placing a pillow under him as Valerie lays in front, her back facing him. She grabs one of his hands and places it on her rib as she moves the other one under her leg, hooking it. She takes his length and inserts it in her pussy, both letting out groans.

“Match his pace. Don’t go too rough.” she said, moving his hand to her neck.

Junior begins thrusting his hips in a snappily motion, his balls slapping her lips. She lets out a slew of moans and gasps, gently rubbing her clit. He squeezes her neck tightly, picking up his pace.

“You like that? Being fucked in front of your husband after he just got done fucking me?” he whispered, earning a audible moan from her as he locked eyes with Terrance, who is stroking him.

She turns her head to passionately make out with him, with him continuing his thrusts. Unknownst to them, Terrance gets up, lays behind Junior, and re-enters from behind, making him groan and stop.

“Nah, don’t stop. Come on.” he slaps his ass. “Continue.” as he thrusts into him.

Junior resumes, matching each thrust as he hits Valerie’s sweet spot consistently, making her let out some tearful moans. Terrance smirks, placing wet kisses all over his shoulder.

“There you go….fighting back a bit.”

“You close?”

“No. You?”

“Almost. She can’t stop clenching around me.”

“She’s close too.”

Valerie laughs hoarsely as both pick up their pace, sloppily thrusting into each other. After a few more thrusts, the trio all cum simultaneously, with Valerie shaking and squirting under Junior as both him and Terrance fill up their condoms. All catching their breaths as Terrance removes himself from Junior, with the latter removing himself from Valerie.

“..We..we’re not done, are we?” asked Junior, looking between the couple.

Both shake their heads, making Junior chuckle weakly. Terrance gets up, grabs a sip of wine before removing his semen filled condom, tossing it in the trash. He picks up Valerie and places her on top of Junior, gently reinserting his length inside of her.

“Fuck.” she whined.

“Hold still.” said Terrance, fixing their position.

Then, he inserts himself inside her, making her groan and shoot up as Junior gasps, not knowing they were both gonna fuck her inside at once.

“Wait, doesn’t this hurt?” Junior asked in a worrying tone.

She looks down at him, tears in her eyes. She shakes her head, smiling at him with a mesmerized expression. Oh my god, we broke her he said in his mind.

“No. He just remembered a fantasy I told him about.” she said, before turning to give him a kiss.

Terrance kisses her back before turn her forward, pushing her down before he started to pound her, earning some vulgar sounds from her that mixed in with her wetness. Junior watched, seeing her enjoy being dominated as she’s on top of him.

“Hey.” he said, lightly slapping Junior’s face. “Just because I’m up doing my job, doesn’t mean you can sit back and enjoy. Start moving those hips.”

Junior obliged, pumping his hips upwards as she wrapped her hands around his neck, keeping her balance up. Terrance grabs her hair, making her arch her back.

“Look at you. Taking me and him very hungrily. You wanted this to happen, didn’t you?”

“Mmhm.” she said, earning a hard slap on her ass, making her yelp.

“When I ask you a question, I expect an answer, not a sound. So let me ask you again: you wanted this to happen, didn’t you?” he asks again, giving her deep thrusts.

“Yes! Ever since that night he was watching us!” she responded, squeezing Junior’s neck, making him moan.

“Look at you two. Both sharing me while all over each other. You think I wouldn’t notice?”

“No. No, sir.” said Junior, grunting as he feels himself getting ready to release again. Terrance smirks, leaning forward to topple over Valerie, speeding up his pace.

“Good job, toy. Now help me make her cum again.” he says, kissing on her neck.

The men continuously hit Valerie’s sweet spot, making her clench and moan loudly as she eagerly attempts to keep up, but failing as her body started to tense up.

Junior pulls out, removing his semen filled condom to stroke himself, doing this until his expletive filled release came, shooting on him and Valerie’s thighs. Terrance’s luscious release follows behind, releasing his load deeply inside, making Valerie meet her euphoric release a few moments later.

The trio kisses each other one last time before collapsing on the bed, catching their breaths. After a few minutes, Terrance get up and walks out of the room, leaving the door open to hear water running from the bathroom. Coming back in with a bowl and towels, he gently wipes both of them, getting rid of the sweat and fluids that are all over their bodies before doing it to himself. Valerie looks at Junior, who begins to fall asleep.

“….we wore your ass out, huh?” asked Valerie, rubbing his face.

“Mmhm.” he said, slowly falling asleep.

Terrance lays next to her, kissing her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her.

“How you feel?” he asks.

“Pleased. Exhausted. A little worried she may have heard us.”

“She won’t know. And he’ll forget when I erase the memories. This only happened between just the two of us.”

“Or three if you wanna be technical.”

Terrance smiles before kissing her, falling asleep as Valerie looked at the door. She thought to herself what if she was actually listening and is planning to snitch, but erased it from her mind, thinking we can say she was very drunk and probably imagined it before falling asleep.

🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲

A/N II: Its been a really rough week, so I’m glad I finished this. Before someone asks, no. Black Velvet did not play in Foe. I just don’t know the name of the song Hen puts on after I’m New Here.

Part 4 (the Finale) will be out mid-month as I am too depressed from the elections to write it. Stay safe everyone, especially the ones living in the red states/about to suffer if you international. And go to hell if you voted for him!

Taglist: @urfavblackbimbo @blyffe @literallegendicon @kimuzostar @aaronpdaily

[stories-and-chaos]

Shrike: Body Count

[Hazbin Hotel reader insert as Alastor’s “darling life and death partner” Ace x ace relationship, both parties are moderately sex favorable. I’ve been seeing some stories about Alastor not having understanding the slang for ‘body count,’ so here’s my take.]

[Word count: 1426 Cw: language]

—————

“Really Angel? That’s your bonding activity for the day?” Vaggie’s single eye glared at the lanky spider.

“Whaaaaaat? Charlie wants us to share intimate secrets!” Angel Dust’s voice was full of seductive mischief. “Body count is a very intimate secret. Tells you a lot about someone.”

“Angie’s right!” A cheerful voice called from across the parlor. Cherri Bomb, the hotel’s newest sort-of-resident, didn’t seem much interested in redemption for herself. She did however have a genuine desire to help Angel and to defend what Sir Pentious gave his life for. The busty cyclops was teaming up with Vaggie as part of the Hazbin Hotel’s basic security.

She also had a mischievous streak wider than her friend’s. “I’ll start, give ya a hand Angie.” Angel snorted a laugh saying, “I’ve already got six toots!” She threw an ice cube from her drink at him. “One thousand eight hundred and twenty…” she paused to count on her fingers, “six. Most o’ that’s from Hell. I got to thirty-one before I died.” She leaned back on her couch, looking very satisfied.

Charlie, Vaggie, and Lucifer could only stare for a moment. “Whoo, nice going Cherri! I knew you wouldn’t disappoint,” Angel crowed. “Lesse here, before I died it was six. After that…” he did some quick math on his phone, “about 90,000? I’m sure we can review my body…of work to confirm.” He grinned lavisciously.

Charlie waved her hands rapidly. “Nope! No no no no no thank you Angel, you’ve shown us plenty that of that during ‘show and tell’ day.” Lucifer looked vaguely disappointed at missing out so Angel resolved to sneak a copy of his favorite performances to the king of Hell.

Charlie continued, forgetting her dad was in the room. “Mine is six,” she said with a shy air, her pale complexion turning bright red.

“WHAT?” Lucifer spat out his tea.

“Oh shit! Dad!” Charlie was flustered but did her best to compose herself. “I mean, I’m over 200 years old now, I’ve been living on my own for decades!” She took her girlfriend’s hand and squeezed it. “Besides, Vaggie is the only one that matters now.” The long haired angel gave her a watery look.

“Well…I guess you’re right sweetheart. So long as they all treated by little girl right?” Lucifer asked with an edge to his voice. At Charlie’s nod he said “Good.” He took a sip of tea before providing his number. “Seventeen.”

“Dad?! I thought…you and Mom…what?!”

Lucifer shrugged. “I don’t kiss and tell Charlie. But your mother knows about all of them. She was even there for some.” He grinned wickedly, looking completely like the king of Hell for once.

Charlie buried her face in her hands while Vaggie rubbed her back in sympathy. “Not too shabby short king. Okay Vags, you’re up!” Vaggie glared at him and flipped him off. “Just our fearless leader?” Angel teased. She huffed, glanced back and forth, and held up her index finger as she blushed. “Thank you for your honesty, Vagina. Huskiekins, how about you?” Angel turned around on the couch to face the bar as Vaggie bristled.

Husk sighed as he continued polishing glasses. “Three when I was alive. Nine since I died.” He was fully prepared for Angel to say something like “Wanna make it ten?” but he just received four thumbs up from the somewhat reformed demon.

“Apologies for our lateness,” your voice called from the elevator. “Alastor had to rewrap my wing this morning.” You and your husband walked arm in arm to the group, with Alastor making sure you were comfortable before taking his own seat. Once he was ensconced in the wingback chair, long legs crossed politely, Lucifer popped up to inspect your wing.

“Hm, not bad.” He had you stretched it gently and gave Alastor an approving nod. “Good work deer boy.”

“Oh ho, of course my good fellow!” The lack of static filter on his voice was the most display of annoyance he would give at the moment. He hated the idea of any man touching you, much less Lucifer Morningstar. But he knew he didn’t know how to help your wing injuries without the fallen angel’s help. “I am a quick study after all! Can’t let my darling rely on someone that might not be around, hm?” His smile widened as Lucifer’s growl showed his comment hit home. “So! What are we discussing today, chums?”

“Ooooh, this is gonna be good,” Cherri giggled as Angel replied. “Body count, Smiles. Before and after death for the Sinners in the group. So, what about you and the missus?”

“An odd topic, but alright. You’ve kept a better count than me, cher. If we count the one right before our death mine is seventy-four?” Jaws dropped at your statement.

“That sounds correct. I had eighteen before we met, and a few solo after our initial encounter. That makes ninety-seven for myself,” he said, looking up to calculate mentally. “I believe after my arrival here, my count is five thousand thirty-one. Give or take a dozen.”

You nodded as Cherri breathed “hooooly shiiiiiit,” with an impressed look. “Mine is still more modest, four thousand six hundred and two. Again, give or take a dozen. Of course, about half of those we did together.”

Alastor hummed in satisfaction. “Oh ho, yes that’s true. Would that increase or decrease our original counts? Or should we have a separate list for couples?”

“Fuck me, I didn’t think they were capable of that,” Cherri said in awe. Lucifer blinked one eye, then the other as his brain tried to catch up. Charlie had her hands over her ears and Vaggie was rubbing her temples. On the other hand, Angel and Husk were sharing a confused look.

“Doll face, Smiles, what kind of body count are ya talking about?” He remembered the discussion about your sexual preferences and the numbers didn’t add up. The simultaneous head tilts from you both confirmed his suspicions.

“Is there more than one kind of body count?” Alastor followed up your question with his own, “How can there be more than one kind of body count?”

“We’re talkin bout how many people we’ve slept with.” Angel paused, remembering your difficulty understanding innuendos. “I mean how many we’ve fucked. Boned. Had sex with.” At his clarification you looked somewhat less confused.

“Why would that be called a body count?” you wondered as Alastor looked surprised at Angel’s explanation. “I’m impressed Angel, I didn’t expect you to explain anything.” Audio of an audience applauding resounded in the room.

The spider shrugged. “I promised your gal I’d explain innuendos if she’d tell me what you two do when ya fuck. Ain’t gonna go back on my word, ‘specially with this cutie.” He winked and stuck his tongue out at the two of you.

“Okay, what's your sexy body count then?” Cherri, disappointed that the thousands you mentioned weren’t people you slept with, was even more curious now.

“One,” you and Alastor said in unison.

Cherri spluttered a bit at the difference between the two kinds of counts while Angel nodded sagely. “Yeah, that tracks, considering you’re both ace as spades and the weird shit you’ve done.”

Lucifer, unsurprised at the amount of death and destruction Overlords were capable of, did look intrigued by that. “What do you mean, ‘weird shit they’ve done?’” Vaggie clapped her hands over her ears as Charlie buried her face into the other girl’s hair in embarrassment. Cherri Bomb nodded encouragement to you.

“NO!” Husk and Angel yelled out together. Angel looked straight up panicked as Husk dashed over to block Alastor and you from view with his wings. “Trust me Luci, you don’t wanna know,” Angel stressed, grabbing the short man by the shoulders. “It broke my brain. Mine. The porn star. Don’t ask ‘em.”

“Is the fact that we’ve [redacted] really that upsetting?” Alastor asked from behind Husk’s feathers. “I think it’s more that we’ve done things like [oh no, not this again], cher,” came your cheerful reply.

Husk pressed his wings back, covering both your mouths. “Boss, Y/N, please stop.” Niffty choose that moment to scramble up Alastor’s shoulder and peek over Husk’s wing. “They’ve done [bleepitybleep] too!”

All heads whipped in her direction. The tiny maid looked proud of herself as she added, “My body count is five! Just one from life. That one counts for my murder count too!”

“Okay, new topic!” Charlie stood up abruptly, her face as red as her tuxedo jacket. “Umm, uhhhh, let’s talk about favorite foods!”

—————

Taglist: @whitewolfsoldat @edgyboi10000 @ch3sire-blu3 @clearly-awkward @badatpunz @bengewatch @chewbrry

[sgiandubh]

Savannah you are still a rude bitch. O and if you are going to make allegations, back ot up with documents, evidence. You know like marriage licenses, posts by friends, cast members, mentioning the father and husband's name in congratulations. If he's such a con, bad business person, prove it. You are the one who is making the statement, you need to provide the documents. Tell others to go look it up doesn't cut it.

Dear Savannah Anon,

I have a surprise for you, darling:

If you don't understand anything, this is normal. It was my wicked pleasure to record this in my first native language - Romanian. But since I don't suspect you do speak or understand it, I will first transcript it as is and then translate.

Sinceră să fiu, nu știu cum unii oameni nu se rușinează de propria prostie. Savannah! Nici mai mult, nici mai puțin - serios? Însă asta este, puișor și regrete eterne: după cum poți constata, ai scris din nou tâmpenii, fără să verifici. Pentru că, hai să fim măcar o dată cinstite - sunteți speriate de nu mai știți de voi de apariția mea pe ecranele ordinatoarelor voastre.

Ani de zile și cam de când cu jocul absolut murdar al unui bătrân fără minte care a jucat într-un serial SF de succes, cam pe când Mama Shipper era la liceu, v-ați permis cam orice, fericite și numaidecât consolate de liniștea consensuală și lașă a echipei de producție, a presei, a actorilor principali: am mai scris chestia asta și am să o tot scriu de câte ori am chef, până vă intră în cap. V-ați crezut apoi protejate de șmecheria la fel de fără minte a cuiva care s-a lăudat că vă denunță și apoi, din câte înțeleg, a fugit cu banii trimiși de către o mână de oameni naivi și disperați „să afle adevărul”. Și ați continuat, pentru că știți foarte bine că foarte puțină lume ar fi, în fond, dispusă să vă dea în judecată, peste mări și țări, pentru un motiv atât de pueril, expunându-și familia, viața personală și cheltuind aiurea pe avocați, expertize și așa mai departe. Asta nu înseamnă că lucrurile pe care le faceți nu se constituie într-o infracțiune, și încă una în formă continuată, cu pedepse substanțiale în mai toate sistemele de drept în care trăim: și eu, și voi. Ceea ce faceți voi se numește hărțuire, zi de zi de zi: puțină lume rezistă și, din punctul ăsta de vedere, mă tem că ați încurcat-o, fetele. Cu mine, v-ați găsit nașul, în sensul în care voi răspunde absolut de fiecare dată la porcăriile pe care le trimiteți, cu riscul de a trece drept nemernica de serviciu.

Este dreptul vostru cel mai strict să rămâneți la fel de tâmpite, chiar și în momentul în care veți vedea foarte clar că ați speculat în gol. Este dreptul meu să nu cred o silabă din câte scrieți, iar motivul pentru care nu am să dau niciodată un ban găurit pe ce spuneți, este unul foarte simplu și evident. Cum să cred ce spuneți despre doi oameni complet străini, când am văzut din prima secundă a mea în această comunitate ce tâmpenii spuneți despre mine? Pe care apropo, nu mă cheamă Savannah, dacă nu ați priceput încă chestia asta (știu vag despre cine ar fi vorba și nu, nu sunt eu, slavă Domnului!). Așa că va trebui să vă hotărâți dracului odată: ori trăiesc la Boston, ori la Sydney, ori naiba mai știe pe unde. Ori habar nu am ce spun, ori sunt o cățea brutală, ori sunt nebuna de serviciu, ori inventez. Înțelegeți măcar că prostiile astea nu fac decât să mă informeze că aveți în mod clar o problemă personală cu mine și ați fi nemaipomenit de fericite dacă aș dispărea, intimidată și dezgustată de atâta răutate fără nume. Ar fi, poate, mai înțelept, să nu judecați pe toată lumea după prostiile pe care le faceți și minciunile pe care le spuneți. Cât despre mine, a fost și încă este o mare plăcere să vă fac de râs, total și iremediabil.

And here is the translation, just to make sure the above was in no way a friendly message: but really, darling, what were you expecting from a rude bitch, anyways?

'I honestly don’t know how some people manage to not feel ashamed by their own stupidity. Savannah! Nothing less than that - seriously? But it is what it is, pumpkin and I am sorry to say one more time: as you can see by yourself, you wrote again some mighty bullshit without even checking. Because, let’s be honest, at least for once: my apparition on your screens seems to have scared the shite out of you.

For years in a row, just about the same time a mindless old man (who starred in a successful sci-fi series when Shipper Mom was in high school) was playing a very dirty game with this fandom, you thought you were allowed pretty much anything. Happily comforted by the consensual, cowardly silence of both OL’s production team (and main cast) and the press: I wrote that before and I will write it again, every single time I feel like it, until you get it. Likewise, you felt somehow protected by the mindless trickery of a person who bragged about denouncing you and then, if I understood correctly, ran away with the money she collected from a handful of naive people, desperate to ‘find out the truth’. And on and on you went, because you know very well that few people would eventually be able to sue faraway you, for such a puerile reason, exposing their family and private life, and spending foolishly on lawyers’ and expertise fees. That does not mean, however, that what you do is not a continuous offence, punished as such by pretty much all our countries’ legal systems. What you guys do, on an almost daily basis, is called harassment: few people can stand it, but unluckily for you, I am afraid you’re screwed, girls. You’ve just met your match, in the sense I shall always answer to all the garbage you send and I really don’t give a damn if I am just the bitch you love to actively hate, or something.

It is your strictest right to remain idiots, even when it will be very clear that all you did was just empty speculation. It is my own right not to believe anything you write, and the reason for it is very easy to understand. How could I ever believe what you are saying about two perfect strangers, when I could see from my very first moment in this fandom all the idiocies you wrote about me? And by the way, in case it wasn’t already crystal clear for you, doll: my name is not Savannah (I vaguely think I know who that is and thanks God it’s not me!). So you’d better decide: I either live in Boston, Sydney or God knows where else. I am either clueless, or a rude bitch, or insane, or making things up. It is high time you understood that all these idiocies tell me you and I clearly have a personal problem, and that you’d be over the moon if I disappeared, intimidated and disgusted by all this nameless malice. Well, it would be wiser not to judge everyone by your own drivel and lies. And it was and still is one of my greatest pleasures to make a complete fool of all of you, over and over again.'

[stardewstardropthoughts]

Hmmm... How would the bachelors react to F!Farmer going into labor/delivering their baby?

Ah man labour is a time and a half lol I’m gonna write this as like vag birth not c section just because it’ll be a bit easier to write that way, no hate on c sections obvi though, I had one lol. all births are valid! No birth discourse on my page please

Harvey:

He doesn’t like seeing you in pain

When labour first began he was timing the contractions and helping you walk around in-between or gently rocking with you back and forth, whatever you wanted

When they got to three to five minutes apart he’s helping you get to his office, offers you pain relief if you want it

Will have maru there to wipe sweat off your face, grab blankets, whatever you need

When it comes time to push he really wants to hold your hand but he also has to do his job has doctor and catch your child so maru more then likely holds your hand if you want her too

He’s sobbing when your baby’s born, a beautiful 8lb 10 oz baby girl with Harvey’s eyes and your hair colour

Lays her on your chest for skin to skin while you deliver the placenta and all but sobs at what a cute picture the two of you are, even if your hairs all matted down with sweat and your face is red from pushing

Loves his little family

Elliott:

It was probably like 1 in the morning and your water had just broken

You didn’t wanna panic your husband but also your literally in labour right now and there’s fluid all over the floor and your pants

You wake him up and he’s immediately out of the bed gathering the bags and making sure you have everything you need while you change into dry pants and a very thick pad

Man pretty much bangs Harvey’s door down

Harvey expected it though, being your primary care and all, offers you pain meds if you want them

You decide to get the epidural, Elliott almost gags watching since a needle in the spine doesn’t look comfy but god do you enjoy the pain relief

You get to have a few extra hours to nap while he paces nervously until it’s time to push

After about three hours of pushing you have a beautiful baby boy who weighs 7lb 5oz and has Elliott’s hair and eyes and your nose

Elliott could write a whole book on the emotions he’s feeling but he chooses to spend his time snuggling with you and your child

Alex:

Early on you decided you wanted a home birth so y’all have a dedicated room in the house for when it’s go time

Literally your water broke at the worst time, you were out weeding the fields dispite Alex desperately trying to get you to rest when suddenly there was a small gush of fluid going down your legs

Rip your overalls because now it looks like you peed your pants, you waddle your way back to the farmhouse and inform your husband who’s immediately drawing you a nice bath to wash the dirt off and clean up before having the baby

Calls Harvey while you’re in the bath and Harvey rushes over

Your on the bed in the birthing room currently trying to breath through contractions while Alex massages your back

He’s holding your hand while you push, he assured you he won’t be mad if you squeeze to tight or yell at him

After all is said and done you have a beautiful baby girl, weighing 9lbs 7oz (he was a big baby, you cursed at him a little while pushing out your daughter)

Sam:

Panic

Will offer to carry you to Harvey’s office (he will drop you accidentally, so you opt to walk lol)

Asking Harvey a million questions a minute, how many babies has he delivered, how much will it hurt, what do you think the baby’s eye color will be

You opt for pain meds and he passes out watching the epidural get placed

He wakes up a few minutes later to maru putting a cold cloth on his head lol, gets to sit in a chair and hold your hand while you push out the infant

You guys have a beautiful baby boy who weighs 6lbs 7oz, he’s small but he’s perfect and he has your hair and Sams eyes

Sams crying just a little bit while he cuts the umbilical cord, maru rats him out to you

Sebastian:

On the outside he’s very calm and collected while grabbing the baby bag, making sure your comfy for the trip to Harvey’s and making sure everything’s ready

On the inside? His brains screaming at him, panic and worry are a constant through the whole experience

He’s secretly glad maru is there to support him and you both even if it is just with wet cloths and breathing exercises

Harvey offers pain relief, you opt out cause needles in the spine sound absolutely terrifying to you

He’s rubbing your back, holding your hand, brushing your hair back out of your face, praising you for how well your doing

When the infant is born it’s a bit of a shock for you both since you end up with twins! Thank god for being over prepared and bringing like five different sets of clothes for baby

One beautiful baby boy who weighs 6lbs 1oz and one beautiful baby girl who weighs 5lbs 5oz, Sebastian is sobbing fully

Maru is calling robin to tell her to build a second crib lol

Shane:

Was probably half asleep when you woke him up to tell him your water broke and your in labour

Another home birth, you wanted a home water birth so he’s immediately up and filling the birthing pool while you call Harvey and waddle around getting undressed from the bottom down and into the pool of warm water

He will get in with you if you ask him to he doesn’t care how gross it’s gonna get, the only thing on his mind is how he can best support you through this

He’s rubbing your shoulders, your back, asking what he can do for you, if you need a drink or anything

When it comes time to push he’s holding your hand and helping you breath through it

You have a beautiful baby girl who weighs 7lbs 8oz and has Shane’s eyes and your hair

He’s smitten with her immediately and is sobbing over the little family you’ve created with him, he never thought he was worthy of any of this but now he’s here and he has it and it’s amazing to him

dresses her in a little onesie with cartoon chickens all over it, cannot wait to bring her around to meet everyone

[misfit-mccoward]

oh wait here's breasted boobily deidara/konan: extended version

The thing about “straight” women and Deidara is that they always end up in a public bath or a hot spring together. And, given Deidara has a habit of sitting around at those with the back of her hand laying out on the seat next to her, they always end up accidentally sitting on her hand. It’s happened to Deidara at least eight times. 

So, when the hot water at the Akatsuki base breaks, Deidara figures it’s only a matter of time before it happens again. She puts on a full face of makeup and heads to the public baths. 

Because the universe caters to Deidara, all the people in the bath when she arrives are attractive ladies in their twenties and thirties, plus one smoking hot woman in her fifties who’s probably unappreciated by husband and hasn’t actually orgasmed in years. Deidara makes sure everyone gets to see her bend over in her thong as she undresses, and she spends a very long time rubbing soap suds over her breasts as she bathes. Everyone’s eyes are on her, and she figures her chances of getting laid are high. She happily breasts boobily over to the baths to soak. 

I hope it’s the MILF, Deidara thinks as she settles into the water. Her boobs float up in front of her. I love older women. 

The woman who comes to sit with her is a very pleasant surprise instead. Deidara only waits a few minutes before Konan shows up, walking into the bath part of the bathing facility wrapped in a tiny towel. Deidara’s breath hitches. No way will ice queen Konan go for this. 

Oh but god, what if she did? Konan is one of the hottest women Deidara has ever met. She rubs her thighs together in anticipation. 

There’s a handful of other women in the bath, and Konan eyes them briefly before stepping into the bath and heading toward Deidara. She drops her towel at the side of the bath. Deidara is excited to see that Konan’s neatly trimmed pubes are the exact same indigo blue as her hair, and that her belly button is pierced. Deidara doesn’t know much about piercings, but Konan has multiple dotting her stomach in a star of metallic beads. Konan’s stomach is toned around the pretty piercings, although her hips are round and soft looking. Deidara watches, entranced, as the water line raises up around Konan’s thighs as she steps into the bath and walks across it to Deidara. 

Deidara holds her breath, and Konan sits next to her. Like all straight girls in this situation, Konan manages to accidentally sit vag first on Deidara’s hand. Deidara’s hand tongue has been lolling out, drifting in the water of the bath, and it slides in between Konan’s folds without Deidara having to do anything. 

Usually, the girl’s eyes will widen in surprise, and she’ll make some cute little squeaky noises as she bounces around on Deidara, confused and aroused by what’s happened. Konan’s gaze just lowers thoughtfully in the direction of her lap. Deidara is too wound up in anticipation of Konan’s reaction to actually move her tongue. 

“Hmm,” Konan says. Deidara stares at her, frozen. 

The seats in the bath are benches, detached from the sides of the bath. Konan rotates to the side, wedging one leg between the wall of the bath and the bench as she faces Deidara, straddling her hand. Her cunt is fully against the hand mouth now, and Konan shifts her hips slightly, grinding herself against Deidara even as her posture remains perfectly straight, her face impassive. 

“There are people watching us,” Konan murmurs, but her expression gains a hint of a challenge. She reaches forward, taking Deidara’s free hand in hers, and guides it under the water between her legs. “Don’t be loud.”

Deidara wedges her fingers not trapped by Konan’s thighs between her other palm and Konan, so she can dip them into Konan and finger her clit. Konan watches her from under hooded eyes. With Konan expressionless, Deidara has no way to judge if her efforts are actually working, but instead of being frustrating, this just excites Deidara. Can she make the ice queen break? Even just a little moan or a sigh or a twitch would make her day. 

While she massages her clit, Deidara tongues Konan’s opening, shoving herself as far in as she can and licking against Konan’s walls in search of a g-spot. When Deidara had been trying to solve the mystery of why the average dick here was smaller than in her world, or why sex wasn’t automatically happening by her just sitting on someone’s bed or locking herself in a closet with them, she’d found out that a lot of woman couldn’t seem to orgasm just from penetration and that doctors weren’t even sure the g-spot was real. 

Deidara felt so bad for the vaginas of this world. If she could, she would fuck every single one, and find every single g-spot for them. 

Of course, it wasn’t fair to just rely on penetration, which was why Deidara dutifully fingers Konan’s clit, rolling her finger tips around it and then rubbing them over it, eyes searching Konan’s face for a reaction. Even under the water, Deidara can feel that Konan is wet for her, her own fluids thicker and slicker than the water. 

When she finally gets a reaction, it doesn't actually reach Konan’s face. Instead, when Deidara finally hits her g-spot, Konan’s thighs tense and her walls contract around her. Deidara hits it again, pressing her tongue into it as hard as a tongue can and circling it, finding its edges and then pushing its middle over and over, and Konan reaches up and sets a hand on Deidara’s shoulder. 

Konan doesn’t make a sound, but her eyes slide close and her face relaxes into something Deidara would describe as ecstasy. 

“Don’t stop,” Konan murmurs, and then bits of paper start detaching themselves from her shoulders and upper chest, and Deidara tongues her harder and harder, imagining she’s fucking Konan so hard and so good that she’s literally falling apart. 

The paper pieces whip around them and across the bath house, and someone screams, Bees! There’s chaos, which always excites Deidara, and she tries actively lifting her hand up, allowing her tongue to go even deeper and causing Konan to bounce. Konan lets Deidara bounce her, the sound of her breasts splashing against the water joining the chaos of people fleeing from “bees,” and her serene expression remains unbothered. Konan sets her other hand on Deidara’s shoulder as well, and a few minutes later, the room is finally empty. Konan finally allows herself one long, shuddering sigh as she orgasms, and Deidara can feel her walls contracting around her tongue. Konan’s thighs go limp over Deidara. 

Deidara smirks back at her. 

“Still straight?” Deidara dares to tease. 

Konan eyes her up and down, then reaches over and dips her hands into the water and under Deidara’s breasts. She lifts them up, so Deidara’s nipples just barely peek up from the water, and then Konan plays with them, lifting one and then the other, watching them jiggle with only mild interest. 

“These didn’t interest me before,” Konan says, squeezing them with her perfect manicured nails. “But lately I have been thinking about them.”

Deidara is secretly very pleased by this. Of course her boobs are the center of the universe. 

Then Konan stands, cupping Deidara’s chin in her hand and forcing Deidara to look up at her. Konan leans down and kisses her, her tongue slipping into Deidara’s mouth. Her tongue is pierced too, and the metal ball knocks against Deidara’s teeth as Konan enters her, her tongue tasting metallic. Deidara sucks it for her, imagining what it would feel like to be eaten out with the piercing. She wiggles against the bench, turned on and desperate. 

When she breaks the kiss and straightens back up, Konan says, “You’re cute.”

Konan leaves. Deidara watches her ass openly as she strides off, touching herself under the water. 

[mybeingthere]

Dana Claxton, Headdress, 2018-2019.

In her series "Headdress", Dana Claxton continues to extol indigenous cultural abundance. The personal collections of five womxn are featured: Jeneen’s collection of beadwork spans three generations from Old Crow Yukon, with designs that are specific to the Vuntut Gwich’in First Nation; Connie, matriarch of beadwork, adorns her own hand beaded pieces; Shadae mixes it up with hip-hop baseball caps, a Coast Salish woven cedar hat, and her husband’s pow wow/peyote fans; Dee and Dana wear pieces of the same inter-tribal collection made by beaders from the four directions. In these portraits, the beadworks cover and espouse the womxn’s silhouettes, becoming more than just objects: the beadworks are cultural belongings, and the womxn are cultural carriers.

Claxton has repeated the beaded veil motif in some half-dozen backlit transparencies, the most recent in the show being Headdress–Jeneen, a 2018 image of the acclaimed young performance artist Jeneen Frei Njootli. She is portrayed extravagantly draped in some 15 beaded objects from her own collection, including hats, bags, bracelets, necklaces, moccasins, barrettes and a small curtain of coloured beads that covers her eyes and cheeks. Here, the deflection of the viewer’s gaze is immediately understood, so that Frei Njootli is not the object of the portrait but the subject, collaborating with Claxton to maintain control of her image—an image of feminist, cultural and spiritual power. Claxton has spoken about the “transformative” nature of working with Indigenous women—friends and colleagues—in creating the “Headdress” series. She has also remarked on the unsettling impact on the viewer of covering the sitter’s eyes, which are, she said, “a place of spirit.”

[hazbinstohell]

Just Roll With It - Chalastor

Summary - Charlie and Alastor meet with Adam. Adam’s under the impression Alastor’s her new beau…Alastor runs with it, and now they have a royal wedding on their hands…

Adam watched as Charlie and some tall creepy red guy came to the meeting room. He was already annoyed that Heaven was allowing redemptions, let alone pushing back the exterminations to once every three years. And every year, Charlie came to them to ask just for more time, hoping that she can push more redemptions. So far, there was only about 20 every year.

Charlie found this a good thing…

Heaven….not so much.

Charlie waved and found herself a seat at the table. The other guy immediately pulled out a chair, and had her sit, pushing it in for her and then finding his own seat.

Interesting…

“Uh! Hi! Adam, how has it been?”

“Going, as usual. You know…all that good divine shit. Hey, uh? Where is Vag!?”

“Oh uh…me and her are not in a relationship anymore. But she is still a great friend and is staying to help those who want it!”

Adam narrows his eyes, “Huh. Didn’t see that one coming…” he looks over at Alastor, whose smile has gotten bigger as their eyes meet, “So, uh…this new guy your boyfriend?”

Lute intercepts, “Adam, that’s the radio demon!”

Adam leans back, “Oh man! You went from that hottie Va Jay Jay to one of the most sought out souls we’ve been trying to get! Nice…”

Charlie looks over at Alastor, “Uh…”

Alastor laughs, “Alastor! Nice to hear that my reputation is known well amongst the angels.”

Adam shrugs, “I mean, she could have done worst right? I’m sure you and your girlfriend here must have lots of fun with the trouble you get into.”

Charlie finally intervenes, “Adam, this is my partner, Alastor.” She says and Alastor nods, “A pleasure to meet you!”

Adam looks at the two of them a moment, and Lute watches on, “Wait!? What!”

Charlie narrows her eyes, “What?”

Adam grabs the desk, “Partner!? You all are getting married!?”

Charlie deadpans, “What..I…n…”

But Alastor, being Alastor, agrees, “Yes, indeedy! Me and Charlie are to be wedded!”

Even Charlie, still confused, looks to Alastor, “What? I…”

Alastor looks at Charlie, “My dear, we shouldn’t keep this a secret much longer, everyone is going to know eventually…ha!”

Charlie could tell that Alastor was trying hard to not burst out laughing. She sighed and wondered to herself how Alastor always got her into these weird situations. Almost three years ago he told her father she was like a dad…

And now, he was telling the head of the Angelic Armies that he is her soon to be husband.

She groaned, looking down for a moment while Adam spoke, “No shit! Like, a full on royal wedding!? Oh I know Lucifer and Lilith would put out all the stops! When you guys planning this event!?”

Charlie dragged her hand down her face. Alastor looked at her and laughed, “Why, we were thinking a year would give everyone time!”

Charlie looked at the Radio Demon, her annoyance flustering, “Alastor…” she mumbled, and he shrugged as if he was innocent.

Adam deflated, “A year!? But…that’s the next extermination!”

Charlie all of a sudden looks at Adam, “Come again?”

Adam shakes his head, “But, if you guys take a year…that’s…like right in the middle of it all!”

Charlie looks back to Lute, who shrugs.

Adam looks like he is confused, but then leans over, “So like…what if you guys move it up just a bit?”

Charlie goes to talk but Alastor’s “hmm” while looking at his sharp nails makes her take a look at him as he speaks, “I don’t know about that. These events take time! Especially one as royal as this one! Why, this is Lucifer’s daughter! Doesn’t Charlie deserve the very best? I know I wouldn’t want to spoil my bride to be’s most memorable day!”

Adam leans to Lute, “Dude. I fucking LOVE weddings! But a royal one?!”

Lute narrows his eyes at Adam, “Are you for real? They are…”

Charlie interrupts, “Oh! Alastor is right!” Alastor holds his hand out to her, and she realizes they are now in this fully. She takes it, noticing his thumb gently rubs along her knuckles, tender as if he cares, and Charlie takes in a breath, “It is in a year and you know how sometimes things can be with these big ol shindigs, and my Dad is putting out all the stops! It’s going to be the most amazing wedding day that has ever become between two souls!”

Adam seems absolutely excited, as Lute narrows her eyes at the couple.

Alastor notices it quicker than Charlie and takes her hand, gently kissing it. Charlie is shocked, and looks at him. She doesn’t know how to feel about it! Shocked…confused…but Alastor just looks at her warmly.

It works on Lute.

Adam leans over, “Like…ok! If we extend out the extermination one more year, I’ll totally get an invite, right?! I can play a mean guitar for the band at the wedding! Why I’ll bring all of squad down!”

Charlie and Alastor lean forward, and turn to their backs to the angels.

“Alastor! Seriously!?” Charlie whispers in shock.

Alastor smiles a wide grin, “It gives us a whole year, my dear! We meet the goal, and then we can scrap the whole thing! It’s a win-win…”

Charlie looks down, “And if they question it?”

Alastor waves a hand as if it won’t matter, “Then we keep the charade for awhile.”

Adam looks in interest. He can’t hear them, but their mannerisms make him feel like Alastor’s hand waving as if he could care less if Adam is at the wedding. He claps his hand and leans forward, hoping for the good news…

Charlie turns along with Alastor, who is now standing beside her, “I don’t know…I was hoping to keep the wedding on the smaller side.”

Alastor smiles as she goes along with the ruse, “Nonsense, Charlie! I’m sure there are even others up there that your father might want to come! And our redeemed friends too…”

Adam calls out, “Oh oh! I could totally get them to come too! You’d like that Charlie, wouldn’t ya! I could totally invite them down!”

Charlie smirks but doesn’t realize that Alastor has put his hand on her shoulder, and leans forward to whisper in her ear, which sends a shiver down her spine, “Invite the angels, dear. It’s not every day we get such an event like ours will be.”

Lute has to widen her eyes a bit at the behavior of the two of them. Adam leans over to Lute, “Damn…maybe they like, need a few minutes…”

Charlie straightens in her seat, but Alastor’s hand stays, “Ok, Adam. We will invite you to the wedding, if you can push the extermination another year.”

Adam’s eyes go wide, “Oh fuck yeah! This is going to be SO AMAZEBALLS! Just think of all the partying and all the food Lute! Oh come on, it’s going to take me months to find like the perfect outfit!”

Lute narrows her eyes once more, but when the portal opens, they both leave.

The timer on the tower flashes, and another 365 days appear.

Charlie stands, “Oh…my…ALASTOR!”

Alastor is already laughing, and Charlie thinks it’s about the extermination, “WE DID IT! I can’t believe it worked!”

But Alastor keeps laughing, holding his sides as if he will burst at the whole thing. Charlie actually takes a step back, “Uh…Al?”

Alastor stands taking a breath and shaking his head, “Oh, my darling I do apologize, but that…that was considerably entertaining!”

Charlie rolls her eyes, “Ugh…that could have been bad. Luckily this should give me time…”

Her phone goes off and she notices Lucifer’s name, “Oh, it’s Dad!”

Alastor’s smirk widens as she looks at him while she speaks, “Hi Dad! Guess what…I…what!?”

Alastor starts to laugh again, it bubbling over as she now widens those doe eyes at him.

“A deer in the headlights indeed.” he thinks to himself, as she talks to her father over the phone.

She looks abstract and distraught, “Dad, Alastor and I were kidding! We are not getting…NO NO! No, don’t call Adam…he will go back on the extermination! I…I uh…shit, I didn’t think this through didn’t I?”

Charlie looks up at Alastor in panic, and he shrugs, laughing as she flicks him off, “Ok. Ok, yes Dad, we will fix it. Ok, love you…”

She gets off the phone and huffs, “This is all your fault!”

Alastor shrugs, “My dear, you said that you wanted to extend the extermination in anyway, I believe we just found our opportunity!”

Charlie sighs, “Yeah…with almost the entirety of Heaven and Hell already ready for a wedding in a year to the Princess and now new Crown Prince of Hell.”

Alastor’s eyes narrow just a moment…

A prince, huh?

Alastor’s smile goes very wide, and Charlie knows what that look means, “Alastor…”

Alastor smirks, his eyes crawling down the length of her to just make her squirm, “Well, my dear, at least give me a chance to woo my fiancee, first…”

Alastor grabs her hand, and spins her to him, pressing her against his chest and leans down, whispering in her ear, feeling the shiver that goes down her, “I already know how to sweep you off your feet, my darling demon belle!”

[moirindeclermont]

Pen's arch this season is not about sacrifice, it about thriving.

I've saw someone criticizing this season because Pen doesn't sacrifice everything (including Whistledown) for Colin. Now, an opinion is an opinion and every opinion is valid, but allow me a counterpoint at that.

I've said it before that I love this very point. I love that Pen gets to have Colin and Whistledown. It's not bad per se to sacrifice something in the name of something better. And if Pen would want to say goodbye to Whistledown, I'd be okay with it. Fact is, she doesn't want to.

Too many women, to this day, have to choose between love and family or career. The fact that Pen doesn't have to choose at all is incredibly empowering. And if you think for a second that show!Colin would want her to choose, you're severely misjudged his character. He is the first that once he has accepted her, also wants her to be Lady Whistledown.

I also was a teenager in love, and I thought that sacrificing all of me for a person would be the greatest thing I could ever do for love. 20 years apart taught me that while sacrifice are part of what makes relationship works, my financial independence is not a part of those sacrifice I'm willing to make. And surely someone who loves me can understand that and it is willing to work with me to find ways to make it work.

Pen having her cake and get to eat it it's not something that finish her character. It's the opposite. Otherwise we go back to the world Portia was living in in which women's dream come true through there husband, sometimes. Pen has her dreams, her ambitions, her stuff to do that has nothing to do with Colin.

It also strengthen their relationship as a couple. Imagine how bitter and awful would feel Pen after a few years having to give up on her own creation. Why would you do that for her character? I want her to thrive as a wife, a mother and as Lady Whistledown. She is with Colin not because she needs a husband, but because she wants to. And the freedom that allows her this choice is the fact she has money on her own.

Erase that and yes, she will stay with Colin because they love each other, but women are so much more than just love (and when I use women I intended all women who feels women, you don't need a vag to be a woman). We, like Pen, deserve to have our cake and eat it. To have love and children (if we want to) and to be our own person beside those things.

One more point. The choice that Pen is making will impact other lives, like her nieces and other women who will feel inspired by it. Criticizing that point is failing to understand the change they made with Pen since season 1. That was the only possible conclusion for her character that made sense. If you prefer the book version, you do you, but personally I'm very glad they have made this change.

[sashi-ya]

A WHITE RELIEF hoshina soshiro x f! subordinate & wife reader. lactation kink

⋆ requested by anonymous: SASHIII!! hoshina w a lactation kink for his fem!subordinate reader!!! ⋆ mdni. explicit smut. lactation kink. pregnancy and baby mentioned (duh). vag sex. ⋆ wc: 1.2k // event masterlist

You came back too fast; that’s what Soshiro said. After carrying a new creature inside of your womb, and taking care of them for enough time, it was time to come back to the Japanese Anti Kaiju Defence Force… and not even him, your superior, could stop you from doing so.

“I told you not to come back that early, how’s (baby name)?” Soshiro scolds you, once again, and for the tenth time today since you woke up.

“(Baby name) is fine, don’t be silly. I needed to come back to keep them safe. Plus… I missed you” you purr, hand sliding up his neck, fixing the collar of his jacket.

You are vice-captain Hoshina’s weakness; a single touch and he feels his legs fainting. A single touch and he swears is not that early to have a new baby.

“Don’t- don’t play your dirty tricks on me, (Name)… I’m not gonna fall for that sweet touch of yours…” he jokes, planting a kiss on your forehead as he walks away still a little troubled with your decision. Now, he really understands General Shinomiya; having his lover on the line and being away from a new piece of himself felt… painful, to say the least, stressful.

You giggled, tying your hair up, ready for a so needed training day back with your nakama… however, calm and peace wouldn’t last forever as very soon the Kaiju alert reverberated all around Tachikawa base.

An intense operation took place near Tokyo, it even required Captain Mina to fire his cannon to blow a giant daikaiju dead. And, as intense, it turned out to be long and tiring…

You ruffle your hair and brush your suit; dust from debris and rubble fell on you but it doesn’t really bother you. However, the thing that is annoying you the most is probably how tense and swollen your chest begins to feel. You really didn’t feel it during the fight, yet, as the time passed, your breasts were full and packed of milk that should had been pumped before.

“You good? Any injuries?” Soshiro comes your way, asking you for the third time in 10 minutes.

“I’m good. You, however, don’t look good at all” you mutter, cleaning a little trail of blood from the commissure of his lips. “Could you be a little bit more careful, dear husband?”

He nods; he is aware he should be a little bit more careful now that he is in charge of caring for you and your new little bundle of joy.

Both walk back one of the vans, tired, exhausted. And, you, in particular, uncomfortable, swollen. You really don’t wanna show him you are feeling this way; that would only prove him right in some way. Having the little time to pump your milk out, this wouldn’t have happened...

“What is it? What is hurting?” he asks, bending forward as he sits on the back of the van.

You look away from him; how is he able to tell? You haven’t shown a single hint of your discomfort… guess soulmates just know.

“Nothing is hurting; I’m just a little bit uncomfortable… I haven’t had the time to use my pump” you confess, it’d be stupid to lie.

Soshiro takes his hands to his face; massaging his temples he sighs.

Before he could say “I told you so” you stop him with a bunch of reasons why it is worth it to come back despite this “little non important things”

But vice-captain Hoshina, far from scolding you, took the time to think of a better outcome of the situation. And, instead of making a big fuss about it, he simply stood up, closed the van’s back doors and stood right before you.

“What-?” you ask, confused. “Open; I will help you” he words, sounding more like an order than a simple request.

“What are you-?”

“Open”

You do as he says, lowering down the zipper of your anti kaiju -pretty worn out- suit. Immediately after, the pressure of your bloated breasts protruded out of the suit.

Soshiro, gloating at the view, takes a very deep breath; he needs to stop himself from pouncing on your chest and instead be able to grab them with utmost delicacy.

He does, feeling them heavier than his hands remembered from this morning.

“God, how long has it been?” he asks, massaging ever so softly on the sides of both of your breasts.

He comes closer, placing a sweet kiss on top of each one. His fingers sliding down each of your nipples. Like little clamps, index and thumb press on them, allowing some drops to pop from each one.

You flinch just a little; too swollen to use his fingers, it feels like nothing will be able to make the milk flow.

Nothing but his lips…

“May I?” he whispers, already hard and desperate to taste the subtle sugary flavour of your white delight.

Your cheeks on fire, your eyes shut down. Your lips pursed, biting the inside of your mouth… “Do it…” you mourn.

“Heh…” he smirks, eyes this time opened, fixed on yours. Soshiro uses the tip of his tongue to flicker the hardened surface of one of your nipples.

You tremble to his touch; it’s been long enough since he did this. What before it was only exclusive to his kid, to innocence and pure love and nurturing, is now his… this time in such a different, lewd, addictive demeanour.

His lips surround the swollen protrusion, sucking after with perfect technique; it is not painful. It is absolutely delicious.

And delicious is also the elixir that starts filling his mouth. Pristine, like infused in honey, pooling into his tongue.

To much at once, it finally flows and alleviates the pressure. And it overflows your lover’s mouth, dripping down the commissures of his mouth. What once had traces of dried blood from the battle, now has been washed by nurturing liquid.

Oh, and the pressure has now travelled down your body, until your core. But specially his. The suit is killing him, stroking his erection like a jail built by Izumo tecs.

You notice his trapped bulge, and you act in consequence. As your hand strokes his purple hair back, the free one let the zipper of his suit fall down his lean body.

“Than-f-k youf-“ he utters, in between sucking and swallowing.

“Fuck me while you drink from it, would you?” you ask, completely desperate as him. You had forgotten for some months what his lips on your nipples felt like.

Soshiro felt there was no need to ask for such thing, as he sat back on the seats to receive you on his lap.

You let your suit off, unlocking it fully from your body. Still tangled on one of your ankles, you don’t mind and immediately hop on him.

His dick; oozing desperate transparency, lays proud and ready to bury inside you.

No time should be wasted, and in a matter of seconds you let your body flop on him, allowing deep penetration that makes it difficult to keep quiet. Your breasts bounce as you start humping on him, this time dripping white that Soshiro easily traps with his mouth. A mess of sweat, milk and desire spills everywhere. Cumming hard as he keeps deliciously sucking everything out of you, while you milk him in your own way… maybe it wasn’t that early to try for another baby, right?

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

I'm obsessed with your boog. Can I request more apple seed fluff and something funny??

Hi, Anon!

I'm sorry this has taken so long to get to. So many people have asked for Apple Seed blurbs, that I needed to take a break so I could focus on the "canon" story hahaha! I can definitely write you up a little funny Apple Seed piece.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Apple Seed (Bonus): Bun in the Inferno

Angel: (enters the kitchen in the middle of the night and pauses)

Vaggie: (tearing through the cabinets, scouring recipes, flipping and stirring various pots and pans) Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Angel: ........Hey, uh, whatcha doing, Vags?

Vaggie: Charlie. Midnight craving. (puts on a pair of goggles, opens a bottle of Infernal Ghost Pepper oil and blasts the skillet with a healthy dosage before dropping in black peppercorns, making them pop like popcorn kernels)

Angel: (coughs profusely as tears stream down his face) FUCKING HELL, VAGGIE!!!! WHAT IS SHE CRAVING?!?!?! I'M PRETTY SURE THAT RECIPE GOES AGAINST THE GENEVA CONVENTION!!! (closes his eyes and covers his nose and mouth with his robe)

Vaggie: (wipes the lenses of her goggles before she checks her list of Charlie's recent cravings) Brimstone Flavored Pickles, Spicy Jalapeño Ice Cream, Pepper Popcorn, Lava Cake with lava from Wrath, Scorched S'mores, and Blazing Burgers.

Angel: (stomach rolls as he gets secondhand heartburn) That crazy bitch tryin' ta get that baby killed or somethin???

Vaggie: No. She's just pregnant. (uses a pair of blacksmith tongs to plate up all the food on heavy duty, industrial grade, angelic steel tray) Very pregnant, and very much a demon princess.

Food: (pulsing in a red aura as spicy vapors rise from the midnight meal)

Angel: ......Vags?

Vaggie: ....Yes?

Angel: (pats Vaggie's shoulder) You're a good husband and father-to-be.

Vaggie: .....I'm a wife.... but thank you, Angel. That means a lot to me right now. (takes a deep breath and picks up the tray, carefully walking out of the kitchen) Wish me luck!

Angel: (salutes) Godspeed, Captain.

-A few minutes later-

Vaggie: (opens the door to her and Charlie's bedroom) Charlie, I have your food-

Charlie: (demon tail swipes out, steals the tray, and brings it into the deep, dark, recesses of the bedroom)

CHOMP!!! GRRRR!!! SNARL!!! RIP!!! TEAR!!! SNORRRF!!! CHOMP!!! CHEW-CHEW-CHEW!!!! GULP!!!

Vaggie: (slowly opens the door further once the sound of food being devoured stops)

Charlie: (sweet as a puppy, face and pajamas covered in food crumbs and sauces, and a broad smile on her face that makes her eyes sparkle) That was DELICIOUS, Vaggie! (tears up and sniffs back tears of joy) Y-You're too good to me!!!

Vaggie: (sighs and goes to the bathroom before coming back with a wet towel to help clean Charlie up) I'm doing the bare minimum, babe.

Charlie: (pouts) Then Kiss?

Vaggie: (chuckles and wipes off Charlie's face) Maybe after you brush your teeth. I'm afraid your mouth will melt my face off.