#humor and hijinks

[steviewashere]

If Found, Return to Me

Rating: General CW: Implied Sex (Mild), Mild Panic Attacks Tags: Post Canon, Post Season 4, Established Relationship, Humor and Hijinks, Eddie Munson is a Little Shit, Steve Harrington is a Little Shit, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Panic Attacks, Dork Eddie Munson, Dork Steve Harrington, 3+1

Okay, the idea was going to be a 5+1, but I couldn't get past three ideas without feeling the crawl of burn-out, so I lowered it to three. But this is based on This Post from @apomaro-mellow

👕—————👕 1. He grips the hem of his shirt and tugs. Chin tucked into his neck so that he can read the text, which is bold and black and dark on the white background. ‘If found, return to Steve.’ Eddie groans. “Do we seriously have to wear these?” He whines.

Steve stands in front of him. Hands on his hips. One foot cocked. “Yes, Eddie,” he answers emphatically. Even a little annoyed. Which, sue Eddie for having to ask over and over, but it’s sort of embarrassing. Especially when his boyfriend is wearing a similar shirt that just reads: ‘I’m Steve’. Makes Eddie look sort of childish, if you were to ask him. “If I’m taking you out of town, to a place I’ve never been before for a convention—something I’d probably never even go to—you absolutely have to wear that shirt. Knowing you, you’ll see some action figure stand and I’ll be abandoned by the comic books.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Or, y’know, we can just link arms and walk around the convention center?” Steve only widens his eyes and raises an eyebrow. He groans again. “Okay, fine! We’ll wear these stupid t-shirts.” His head tilts back, eyes to the ceiling of their hotel. Huffs through his nose. “I don’t even know how you got these,” he grumbles, “I’d rather not know.”

Sure, Eddie’s prone to running off. He gets excited, okay? Especially when it’s something he knows a lot about, or something he’s been hunting down for literal years, or if it’s a thing he can surprise the people around him with. Thinking of the last time he wandered off and Steve had to practically scruff him, it’d been while he was purchasing a dice set for Dustin’s birthday. So maybe Steve has a point. And maybe it’s sort of a genius idea. Eddie just wants to be stubborn about this, it’d save him the humiliation.

Except, he’s still wearing the shirt (Steve in his matching one) when they finally get through the doors of the convention center. There’s people in costumes all around them: Spock and Kirk, Marty McFly, Indiana Jones, Predator, and a few kids with their dads all dressed like those ponies that Erica likes. Something in Eddie trills. And he’s already a few steps ahead of Steve before he knows it. Steve trails behind him, wonder and awe shining in his own eyes, trying to keep up with Eddie’s frantic nature.

But then they’re not even close to each other. They buy lunch a couple hours in. Steve gets a large lemonade and downs it like he’s never had something to drink before. And then Eddie’s being told, “Please wait here by the bathrooms. Don’t go do anything stupid.”

He’s leaning against the wall that reads: ‘Restrooms’. Arms intertwined over his chest. Legs crossed on one another. In the distance, his eyes lock onto a Dungeons & Dragons booth. There’s tall shelves stocked with every mini figure he could ever pray for. A few long tables that showcase various maps, dungeon master screens, and little trays for dice. However, there’s an odd rack in the booth. A hat stand. And on it, he spots the perfect thing for Steve. It’s probably expensive, Eddie debates with himself, but it’s Indiana Jones’ hat. His feet are moving before he registers the people walking past him.

And then he’s there. Holding a classic fedora hat between his hands. Turning it around in his hold. Thumbing at the material; marveling at how smooth and buttery soft the fabric is. He spots the price tag, ‘$8.00’. It’s not a terrible price. Isn’t damaged in any way. So he keeps it in his left hand, grabs a paladin mini figure in his right, and purchases both items. Bag in hand, he moves to leave the booth, but is stopped by a gentle hand tapping on his right shoulder.

He turns and is met with a girl. She’s level with his chest, eyes wide and calculating, hand retreating back to her side. “Hi—um—you don’t know me at all, but I found somebody named Steve looking for you,” she states, “I saw your shirt and figured you were the guy he was talking about.”

Eddie slumps. A part of him can’t believe the stupid shirt even worked. “Yeah, it’s probably me that he’s looking for,” he sighs. “Take me to him.”

She’s hard to follow in the crowd of people. Shorter than most and extremely quick. But she links his arm with hers and practically drags him back towards the bathrooms. And there he is, Steve Harrington with his hands on his hips, a furrow to his brow, mouth thin-lined. “Eddie,” Steve greets. He smiles, though it’s not all that sweet, but kind enough for this stranger that had to shepherd Eddie. The girl leaves them. And Steve steps closer to Eddie, crosses his arms over his chest, and then has the gall to snort. He raises a hand and plucks at Eddie’s t-shirt, directly on the word: ‘Found’. “Looks like my stupid t-shirt worked,” he snarks. The sass to this guy is unbelievable.

“Yeah, har har, laugh it up,” Eddie says dryly. “Maybe you don’t want the little gift I got for you.”

Steve perks up. Eyes glowing with curiosity. “What’d you get?”

Eddie rolls his eyes and smirks. Digs into his bag and flaunts the hat. “Saw it at a D&D booth, surprisingly. Probably would’ve been something we walked by, had I not…wandered.” He steps a little closer into Steve’s space, sets the hat on top of his head, and nods in approval. “Think that this purchase was a success. You look dashing, Mr. Jones.”

In a flurry of movement, Steve snatches the hat from off the top of his head. Gaping at it. “Eds,” he breathes, “this is so fucking cool.” He places it back where it was, pulling it tight to his hairline, and grins brightly. “Thank you, but also please don’t leave me alone here,” he says, “I got worried.”

“Sorry,” Eddie murmurs sheepishly. “Just thought about how excited you’d be about the hat and couldn’t resist. Won’t happen again, promise.”

Steve chuckles. “I know it will, but that’s what the stupid shirts are for. Anyway…Can we go look at the Lego set-up that we passed by in hall E? I think I saw a spaceship and—“

“Lead the way, Indy.” He might have to buy his own shirts with how Steve bounds away from him.

——— 2. “If…Lost?!” Eddie exclaims. “Steve, what the fuck? Why—How—Where the hell are you getting these t-shirts?” He asks. They’re at Steve’s house, getting ready for a day trip in Chicago. And, sure, Eddie’s never been in his life. Doesn’t know the streets of Chicago like the back of his hand. Maybe Steve does know more about where they’re going, but that doesn’t change just how ridiculous this shirt is. How it glares at him in the bathroom mirror.

Steve sidles up next to him. His t-shirt the same as the one from the convention. He wraps an arm around Eddie’s waist. Rests his head on his shoulder. “I have my ways,” he states ominously. “And, again, I know you. Your sense of direction is practically non-existent. You can’t deny that, baby. The only reason you found Skull Rock is because you stumbled upon it.”

“I was on the run, couldn’t exactly look at a map,” he grumbles. “But do we have to—“

“Yes,” Steve sighs. “Now, can you come out to the car with me? I’m ready to go.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, but does as he’s asked. Sits in the passenger seat. Shuffles through the radio stations. Teases Steve for his taste in tapes. But then they’re parking, getting out, walking around the city.

He follows Steve…for a while. Into a record shop. In the back of a diner, playing footsie under the table. Then he goes down a side street. Following a guy in a white t-shirt, hair high on his head, Adidas sneakers on his feet. However, the guy turns slightly. And…that’s not Steve. Eddie’s not sure how long he’s been following this stranger, or when he started, or from where he started from. Tries to rake through his brain to the last time he heard Steve talk about the street they were originally on, but there’s nothing. The words and names escape him.

He’s stranded in a city he’s never been to. Down a street he should’ve never come across. Wearing the most humiliating t-shirt known to mankind. Somewhere, again he’s not sure, behind him Steve is probably standing by some shop entrance, hands on his hips and a scowl perfectly framed on his face. And Eddie can’t help but panic. Standing with his back against the nearest wall. Breathing through his mouth like he’s about to beef it on the sidewalk. Eyes darting over and under and left and right. Trying to find semblance of normal, any little speckle of Steve. Something.

It’s not until he’s nearly sick to his stomach, churning and flipping and knotting, that a different stranger makes their presence known. They gently invade his space. Voice soft as they notice his panic. “Hey man, are you Eddie?” They ask. He nods way too quick, but sidelines the blur to his vision because talking to this stranger seems hopeful. Especially since they know his name. “Okay, cool,” the stranger mutters, “I ran into your…friend. Steve was on the verge of a nervous breakdown when I spotted him, said he couldn’t find you, but didn’t know where to look. So I volunteered to find you. And—well—judging by your shirt, I can gladly and safely reunite you guys. If you…If you wanna follow me.”

“Please,” Eddie murmurs, “I don’t know where I am.”

The trip back to Steve is arduous. Through crowds of people and past noisy cars. Bustling shops and the waft of various seasonings from a number of restaurants. But sure enough, Steve is on some precipice. His hair a mess and face pinched nervously. Then, he spots Eddie. Eyes lighting, clearing and glistening. A look of ‘I want to touch, but know I can’t.’

When he sidles up next to Steve after the stranger leaves, he carefully joins their hands. “I followed a complete stranger for probably thirty minutes,” Eddie admits, whispering. “His hair looked similar. And he was also wearing a white t-shirt. I got so scared, Steve.”

“Well, at least our stupid shirts worked again, right?” Steve asks, breathless and still verging breakdown.

Eddie squeezes their hands. “Can we go home, please? This is gonna sound crazy, but I think I prefer middle of nowhere Hawkins. At least I know where everything is.”

Steve nods rapidly. “I need to touch you in ways I can’t right now. Let’s go.” And then he tugs their hands, pulling them along sidewalks and through groups of people, down a couple side streets. It’s partially worth it, in the end. Definitely with the way Eddie’s skin is now decorated with Steve’s love, sticky and warm with it, too.

——— 3. The shirts end up following them to the Indiana State Fair.

Steve stops them at the front entrance, right after the ticket booth, and makes Eddie face him. “Listen to me,” he murmurs, voice low and near demanding. “If I turn my back for a second and you are gone, I will lose my absolute shit. Got it? Do not make me have to keep a rope tied to your belt loop.”

Eddie groans. “I get it, Steve. Can we at least try and enjoy ourselves?”

And they do for the most part. Steve plays at a few game stalls. Eddie carries the prizes. Their legs interlock underneath a picnic table, sharing greasy funnel cake and way too sour lemonade freezes. They watch a few performers, pet some fair animals, judge prized pigs like they know what they’re doing.

But then the ferris wheel comes up and Eddie sees an opportunity already forming. Like dots connecting or the stars aligning. He wants to drag Steve through the line and sit with him in one of the seats, wait for the wheel to stop at just the right height, and kiss him as the lights dim low and the darkness of the sky envelops them. Though, because he always misses a few steps in his plans, he doesn’t tell Steve that they’re going to the ferris wheel. Just starts walking. Shoving past other couples and accidentally sidelining a couple kids. He sneaks around large families. Maybe bribes a few people to let up on the ride’s queue.

Then, Eddie turns to his left. Where Steve is.

Or…Where Steve should have been.

“Shit,” Eddie spits. “Steve?” He calls over his shoulder. Frantically, he whips around in line. Eyes wide over people’s heads. Shoving them out of the way, albeit a little rough. Spreads the line into two little rows. But he comes up unsuccessful.

Until, right on cue, a stranger is tapping on his shoulder. Instead of letting them go into their whole spiel, he just sighs defeated, “Take me to him.”

There are no words exchanged. Not when Eddie follows behind, head bowed to the ground, dragging his feet like a petulant child. And then he stops where he sees Steve’s shoes, the bright blue Adidas sneakers he’d recognize anywhere.

“Sorry,” he mutters. “Thought you were with me.”

Steve just sighs. Something kind of disappointed that shrivels Eddie slightly. “Where’d you even go?” Steve calmly asks.

Eddie finally looks to him, his eyes pleading. “The ferris wheel, but…But! In my defense, I thought you were with me. And I was going to get us a seat on the ride. Was gonna wait until it got up to the highest point and do something cheesy like kiss you…or blow you, whatever. But I—“

“Why didn’t you just ask me, Eds?” Steve laughs with his full body, deep from within his stomach. “We can do that, babe. All you gotta do is ask, y’know?”

“I didn’t think—“

“I know you didn’t,” Steve teases. “Seems like my stupid t-shirt idea worked again. That’s three times, you dork.” Eddie can only groan. He knows that he has a bad habit of wandering, doesn’t mean that the idea is any less annoying or dumb. “Come on, Eds. Stop throwing a fit. Let’s do your thing.”

“You sure?”

“Eddie, if you don’t kiss or blow me on that ferris wheel, I’m banning D&D at my place for a month. Let’s go.”

When they get off and start walking back to the car, Steve tugs on the back of Eddie’s jeans. He yelps, startled, but quickly shuts his mouth when he’s faced with a stern look. “You know what I just remembered?” Steve asks him. There’s mirth in his eyes. Eddie doesn’t trust this at all. “Earlier, when I was telling you about wandering, I mentioned maybe tethering you to a rope. I might have to do that. Since you can’t behave.”

Eddie heats from the inside out. A coil tightens in his stomach. “You couldn’t even if you tried,” he bites back.

Later, he finds out, Steve is exceptional with rope. What a fucking boy scout.

——— +1 The Mall of America didn’t earn its title for nothing. The place was huge, that much Eddie could discern. Which made perfect sense when buying the new and improved: ‘If found, return to…’ shirts. However, this time, it was Steve with ‘If Found’ t-shirt.

At first, Steve didn’t know how to feel about the new shirts. Simply because he didn’t seem to see a reason for why he’d get lost or wander or be found in any capacity. But given the surprise Eddie had for him, the reason definitely fit the bill.

What Steve didn’t know, that Eddie one hundred percent knew, was that a Lego store was opening up at the mall. Or, has been opened at the mall. It was the perfect time for a little road trip. A little Fall of 1992 trip to Minnesota. Driving by trees and such. Parking in the Mall of America’s lot. Figuring out what stores to hit first, what food they wanted to eat, where the bathrooms were located. Typical day out sort of things.

However, one moment Steve was with him and the next…Eddie was scouring the food court for his fiancé. Trying not to throw up the meager lunch he just had. Swallowing down panic after panic after panic that rose in his chest like tsunami waves. This place was too big for either of them to wander or get lost or have a mind of their own. Not with the way they impulsively purchases things, an awful habit they both exuded—today is the worst day to do just that.

Which leads him to tapping on the shoulder of a guy around his age. Who’s carrying two large yellow Lego bags. Just sitting back in one of the food court chairs, minding his own business. Until, he whips around to find Eddie startled and red faced. “Uh…Can I help you, man?” The stranger greets.

“Sorry, hi,” Eddie says. “I just—You look like somebody who can maybe help me. I’m looking for my…friend, his name is Steve. Uh—White, around my height, dirty blonde hair. He’s wearing a pair of near skin tight Levi jeans, light wash and a white t-shirt that matches mine. Except, his says ‘If found, return to Eddie’. I’m Eddie, by the way. Anyway—Uh, you probably just came from the Lego store, yeah?”

“Sure,” the guy says, completely unsure of this interaction. “Why do you need to know—“

“So you can like lead me there? I’ve never been there. And like he’s really obsessed with those damn sets and like that’s really cool or whatever, but I need to know where he is because we’re from out of town and I have no fucking clue what I’m doing in this mall or where to—“

“Alright, dude, calm down,” guy placates. “We’ll find your friend. Just…That store is pretty fucking busy. Really popular, you know? I’ll take you there, but with how panicked you are, it would be best if you waited by the entrance of the store. Is that…”

“That’s perfectly fine to me!” Eddie nearly shouts. 

He follows on this person’s heels. Bobbing and weaving through crowds of other over-consumers. Maybe shoving a few of them out of the way just so he can stay with that guy. But eventually, they make it to the outside of the rather precarious Lego store. Its yellow storefront nauseating to Eddie. Almost—Genuinely frustrating him beyond belief. And he sees Steve. Standing near the back of the store. Staring up at one of the shelves, but he lets the stranger he found grab Steve for him. Because no way in hell is Eddie going to survive being swallowed up by the awfully large crowd swamping the store.

Steve emerges from the crowd, a bit offended and a lot upended. But then has the gall to appear sheepish when he’s led directly to Eddie. With a nod and a tight smile, Eddie waves the stranger off. Almost wants to run back and get his name, send him a thank you card from the Hallmark store he saw on their way there.

He turns to face Steve, though. Leans them into the wall. “Jesus, Steve,” Eddie groans. “Is this what you put up with?”

“Is what—“

“The fucking panic? The—The whirling around and checking in the weird obscure places? Tapping on stranger’s shoulders only to see if they have a single goddamn idea where anything is…ever? Like—“ He sighs. “I thought that I’d never find you, Steve! You could’a at least told me you were going to go somewhere on your own. Maybe give me an idea of where you’re going?”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Oh, so now that’s important to you?” He petulantly mutters. “Can’t go off and have fun without being pestered—“

“I’m not pestering, Steve!” Eddie grits. “I’m being concerned! I’m—You scared me,” he admits quietly. “And you ruined my surprise.”

“Ruined?” Steve echoes, confused. “What do you…oh. Oh. I—“ Then, Steve looks down to the floor. Eyes ashamed and arms tight to his body. “I didn’t…I was just excited, I’m sorry. The store was on the directory when we first came in and I like—“ He chuckles a little bit, loosening up. “—I fucking memorized where to go. What path to take. Because I just really wanted to look in there. They’ve got—Eddie, they have this one set in there, it’s a freaking spaceship and it’s called the…The Galactic Meditator or something? I can’t—That doesn’t matter,” he rambles. Takes a deep breath and pushes himself tighter into Eddie’s space. “I’m sorry, baby,” he murmurs, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Eddie gives a single nod. Closes his eyes and staves off the rest of his panic and anger. He’d be a hypocrite if he lashed out right now. He knows that. And, honestly, seeing Steve geek out about toys…of all things…is kind of endearing. Maybe even doing something for Eddie.

He puts on his best smile, something genuine and pulled from within him. “It’s alright,” he whispers. “I—I should’ve known that you were going to come over here.”

“I mean, you did a little bit, right? Had to find somebody that led you here?”

“You got me,” Eddie breathes. “Y’know all my tricks.”

Steve hums beside him. “I’m actually sorry, though, that I ruined the surprise you had in mind. This is a pretty cool thing.”

Eddie smirks. “Steve Harrington admitting to a geek thing being cool…When did the tables turn?” He teases. “Seems like God has heard my prayers,” he jests. With a quick sneaky look around, he grabs Steve’s hand. Squeezes firmly and exhales the last bit of his panicked nerves. “Does my fiancé want to…Oh, I don’t know…Get a Lego set?”

The hand in his tightens with a harsh, unbelieving amount of strength. He almost winces. “Really?” Steve asks, perking up. If he had a tail, it would most definitely be wagging. “Can we actually? I really want that one that I found in there, the uh…Galactic whatever it was called. I’m bad at the names, which is weird because I’ve been building these sets for a while, but I always seem to get the names wrong and I—“ Eddie interrupts with a squeeze to his hand again, a smile bright and plastered to his face. “Sorry,” Steve sheepishly says, “Let’s go in there. I can show you and maybe…you can get one of your own?”

“Lead the way, sweetheart,” Eddie murmurs against Steve’s cheek, leaving a very chaste but all the same kiss there.

The panic was worth it in the end. Because watching Steve in his element, nerd-ing over toys and how to best put them together, really makes Eddie’s chest warm. In a way that tells him he’d put up with wandering all his life, if only to get Steve to smile the way he does when proudly displaying his new spaceship.

👕—————👕

[perseyhandmaiden]

Yes, I think I will definitely be Joining the Pranksters tonight.

To check out the Tea Fountain Go to Page (30) To see how the Pranksters fare Go to Page (31)

29

[pines4thetwin]

Hanahaki Stancest

With ford starting to find petals then eventually full flowers, always in the vicinity of stan but not putting two and two together so he's just wondering when stan decided to take up florals as a hobby. Well at least until he starts to notice the flecks of blood on the petals and begins to wonder who the hell could possibly be good enough for his amazing brother and why the hell they don't return stans feelings.

Que hijinks as Ford confronts Stan and stan proceeds to lie to his face about who his feelings are for

Bonus if Ford makes it his mission to save his brother by trying to set him up with the lady stan lied and said his feeling are for

Bonus ×2 if while trying to save stan, Ford starts to feel that aching burning pain in his chest and cant figure out why until he wakes up in his bed cover with blood speckled flower petals.

[thebunnednun]

Ace x strawhat!reader

Carnival Confessions Portgas D. Ace x Straw-Hat! Reader

Thank you for my first "Follower Friday's" request! <<33

This is not the best photo but I could grate cheese on this mans abs and fucking lick it off.

*AHem*

Time to add a new husband to the list.

Don't be afraid to send me any requests my loves and if you are waiting for the next installment I have my masterlist posted!

Like usual, never be afraid to hang out in the comments. I love you guys feedback and snort up all the love you show. <33

ON WITH THE SHOW!!~~

As the Thousand Sunny glides through the calm seas, a distant glow catches the crew's attention. Nami, always attuned to opportunities for fun and profit, eagerly informs everyone about the nearby island hosting the renowned Festival of Stars. With its promise of dazzling lights, delicious treats, and lively entertainment, it's an irresistible invitation for a crew in need of some rest and relaxation.

Excitement buzzes among the Straw Hat crew as they prepare to make landfall. Luffy's eyes sparkle with anticipation, Sanji's culinary imagination runs wild at the thought of new ingredients, and Usopp feverishly sketches plans for the perfect carnival game.

Suddenly, the sound of cannon fire echoes across the sea, breaking the tranquil atmosphere.

Luffy, ever the goof-ball, shouts, "What's that? Are we under attack?"

"No, Luffy, look!" Usopp points excitedly towards the source of the cannon fire. "It's a welcoming salute! They must be celebrating our arrival!"

A grin spreads across Luffy's face as he grips the ship's railing.

"Alright! Let's join the party!"

Nami nods in agreement, her eyes gleaming with the prospect of potential treasures. "Indeed! But let's make sure we don't get carried away and forget our mission."

Sanji, already envisioning the culinary delights awaiting them, adds, "I can't wait to taste the local cuisine! This festival sounds like heaven!"

Meanwhile, amidst the flurry of excitement, you exchange a meaningful glance with Ace, a silent acknowledgment of your shared desire to explore the festival together. The unspoken tension between you both hangs in the air like the scent of gunpowder after a cannon blast, waiting for the right moment to ignite into something more.

Amidst the hustle and bustle, Ace found himself stealing glances at you whenever he thought you weren't looking. He admired your determination, your wit, and the way you effortlessly fit into the fabric of the crew. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to confess the growing feelings stirring within him.

Little did Ace know, you were experiencing the same internal turmoil. Your heart skipped a beat whenever he smiled, and your cheeks flushed whenever he spoke to you. You admired his strength, his loyalty to his crewmates, and the way he carried himself with a quiet confidence. But like Ace, you were hesitant to reveal the depths of your emotions, afraid of risking the friendship you cherished.

Y’all were soooo down bad for each other. 

the Thousand Sunny gracefully docked at the island, the crew eagerly disembarked onto the bustling streets, immediately enveloped in the vibrant energy of the Festival of Stars. The air was alive with the scent of exotic spices and the melodies of street musicians, drawing the Straw Hats into the heart of the festivities.

Stalls adorned with colorful banners and twinkling lights beckoned them with promises of exotic treats and unique treasures. Nami, always the opportunist, discreetly pulled Robin aside amidst the bustling crowd, a mischievous glint in her eyes betraying her intentions. "Let's give those two a little nudge in the right direction," she whispered, and Robin's lips curved into a knowing smile as they exchanged a silent agreement.

Meanwhile, you and Ace found yourselves entranced by a lively carnival game nestled amidst the throngs of revelers. The enticing challenge involved tossing rings onto bottles, each success rewarded with a coveted prize. With a playful glint in his eyes, Ace turned to you, his charismatic grin inviting you to join in the fun.

"Care to test your luck, (Y/n)?" he teased, his voice carrying a hint of friendly competition.

You accepted his challenge with a determined smile, eager to showcase your skills and perhaps impress the fiery-natured pirate. As the game unfolded, laughter and banter flowed freely between you both, each toss of the ring accompanied by playful taunts and good-natured ribbing.

Unbeknownst to you, Nami and Robin watched from a distance, their subtle orchestration unfolding according to plan. With a satisfied smirk, Nami leaned towards Robin and whispered, "I think they're starting to get the idea, don't you?"

Robin nodded, her gaze lingering on the scene before them. "It seems our matchmaking efforts may bear fruit after all," she remarked, a knowing twinkle in her eye as she observed the blossoming camaraderie between you and Ace.

As the carnival game continued, amidst the whirlwind of colors and laughter, the stage was set for something more than just a friendly competition. In the heart of the festival, amidst the vibrant chaos, two hearts danced closer together, their connection blossoming like the stars that illuminated the night sky above.

However, the game proved to be more challenging than expected, with each toss of the ring met with exaggerated groans and comical expressions of determination. Ace's fiery competitiveness only added to the amusement, his dramatic reactions earning laughter from both you and the surrounding crowd.

After a particularly close call that had Ace teetering on the edge of the game booth in mock despair, you finally emerged victorious, clutching the small plush toy prize triumphantly. Amidst the cheering and congratulatory pats on the back, Ace flashed you an exaggerated pout, pretending to wipe away fake tears of defeat.

"Alright, alright, don't rub it in too much," he teased, a playful twinkle in his eye.

You couldn't help but giggle at his theatrics, playfully tossing the plush toy into his waiting arms. "Looks like you'll have to settle for being my second-place prize," you quipped, earning another round of laughter from the surrounding onlookers.

Unbeknownst to both of you, the rest of the crew watched from a discreet distance, their amusement evident in the smirks and stifled laughter exchanged between them. Usopp, still disguised as a carnival attendant, struggled to contain his laughter as he approached with a mischievous grin.

"Congratulations on your win! As a special prize, how about a romantic stroll through the festival's enchanted garden?" he exclaimed, barely managing to keep a straight face.

You and Ace exchanged incredulous glances, momentarily taken aback by the unexpected offer. With matching shrugs and bemused smiles, you accepted, unable to resist the lure of curiosity and the promise of adventure.

As you ventured into the enchanted garden, laughter echoed through the night air, mingling with the soft rustle of leaves and the distant strains of music. The comedic charm of the situation was not lost on the crew, who watched with amused anticipation from the safety of the ship, ready to intervene if their matchmaking scheme veered off course.

As you and Ace embarked on your romantic stroll through the enchanted garden, the atmosphere was filled with an air of whimsy and mystery. Twinkling fairy lights illuminated your path, casting dancing shadows on the verdant foliage that surrounded you.

Unbeknownst to both of you, however, a series of hijinks unfolded in the background, orchestrated by the mischievous members of the Straw Hat crew. Luffy, unable to contain his excitement, had snuck off the ship in search of adventure, only to find himself entangled in a comical chase with a group of festival performers dressed as mischievous sprites.

Meanwhile, Sanji, ever the hopeless romantic, had taken it upon himself to prepare a surprise picnic for the two of you, complete with an array of delectable treats and a bottle of his finest wine. However, his efforts were nearly thwarted when a wayward gust of wind sent his carefully arranged spread tumbling into a nearby bush, much to his dismay.

Back on the ship, chaos ensued as Chopper and Franky attempted to quell the commotion caused by a group of overexcited seagulls that had mistaken the Thousand Sunny for a floating buffet. With brooms and buckets in hand, they engaged in a slapstick battle against the determined feathered invaders, all while trying to maintain a semblance of order.

You and Ace began meandered through the garden, engrossed in conversation and unaware of the chaos unfolding around you, the sounds of laughter and mischief served as a whimsical backdrop to your romantic interlude. Little did you know, the antics of your crewmates would only add to the memories you would cherish for years to come.

The night wore on and the stars began their mesmerizing dance across the sky, a subtle shift occurred between you and Ace. With each shared laugh and stolen glance, the barriers around your hearts began to crumble, revealing the tender affection that had been quietly blossoming between you.

Finally, as the last firework burst into a kaleidoscope of colors, painting the sky with its radiant glow, Ace took a deep breath, his eyes locking with yours in a silent understanding. "There's something I've been wanting to tell you," he began, his voice soft but steady. "I've always admired your strength and kindness, and... I think I might be falling for you."

Your heart skipped a beat at his confession, the weight of his words settling over you like a warm embrace. In that moment, all the unspoken desires and lingering doubts melted away, replaced by a sense of clarity and undeniable truth. "I feel the same way," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I've been hoping you'd say something like that."

As the crew erupted into cheers and applause from their hidden vantage points, you and Ace shared a shy smile, the joy of mutual understanding washing over you like a wave. Surrounded by the magic of the festival and the warmth of each other's presence, you knew that this moment would be etched into your memories forever.

And so, hand in hand, you and Ace walked through the streets of the Festival of Stars, the world around you alive with possibility and promise. In that enchanted moment, you realized that sometimes, the most precious treasures could be found in the most unexpected of places - even in the heart of a carnival. And as the night faded into dawn, you knew that your journey together had only just begun.

As the cheers of the crew faded from the air, Ace's expression shifted from surprise to realization. "Wait a minute," he exclaimed, a mix of disbelief and amusement crossing his features. "Did Luffy have something to do with this?"

Before you could respond, the mischievous laughter of your crewmates echoed through the garden, confirming Ace's suspicions. "Looks like the little captain couldn't resist playing matchmaker," Sanji chimed in with a knowing smirk.

Nami, unable to contain her amusement, added, "I guess we owe him for helping set the stage for your confession, Ace."

As the teasing banter continued, you and Ace exchanged sheepish glances, both amused and touched by the antics of your crewmates. But before you could fully process the moment, chaos erupted in the garden as Luffy's laughter rang out, accompanied by the sound of running footsteps.

"Hey, come back here, you two!" Luffy's voice echoed through the night air, followed closely by the pounding of feet.

With a shared laugh, you and Ace took off running, the thrill of the chase adding an unexpected twist to the evening's festivities. As the fireworks continued to light up the sky, you and Ace found yourselves using your respective powers - his fire and your water - to outmaneuver your pursuers, weaving through the garden in a playful game of cat and mouse.

With each burst of laughter and flicker of flames, the bond between you and Ace grew stronger, fueled by the shared joy of the moment. And as the night unfolded in a whirlwind of excitement and hilarity, you couldn't help but marvel at the unexpected turn of events that had brought you closer together.

As the chase continued under the canopy of stars, you and Ace knew that no matter where your adventures took you, the memories of this magical night would always hold a special place in your hearts.

And as the fireworks danced across the sky, illuminating the path ahead, you felt grateful for the laughter, the love, and the unforgettable moments shared with your Straw Hat family.

This is also posted on the a03 account by the same name. A new update post will also be out tomorrow regarding updates and new stories.

Please check out my other works and leave likes and comments, they really help. Drop a follow as well if you please. Don't be shy to leave me a little reblog if you want.

Seen you soon my loves!!~ <<33

POsted on 4/10/24 same day as Chapter 3 to "Whispers of the heart."

[citylighten]

all i have to offer tomorrow are some random rohan caps 😂

[a-bluedream-posts]

Fridge by FransMensinkArtist

[arenjix]

Baby Birds and Bat Caves

By IzzyMRDB

Complete

Summary:

Gotham was built on a cave system. Batman has referenced a Bat Cave before. Tim is currently in the cave system. He is in the cave system that he entered from Drake Manor. Drake Manor is right next door to where Batman- The Bruce Wayne- lives. Holy Cavern, Batman! Tim had just accidentally wandered into the Bat Cave’s cave system. OR Tim, having found a weird hole after a storm, decides to go exploring ignoring the fact that This Is Gotham and They Probably Have Cursed Stuff Down There. Luckily, it was just a cave system that spans the entire Gotham underground. Unluckily, Tim is a very curious child.

(Stats/Tags are under the cut)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: Gen

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)

Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown & Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake, Tim Drake & Edward Nygma

Characters: Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Barbara Gordon, Original Non-Human Character(s), Alfred Pennyworth, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Edward Nygma

Language: English

Additional Tags: Caves, Fluff, Weird Gotham City, Tim Drake-centric, BAMF Tim Drake, Kid Tim Drake, the Bat Cave, Kids are so curious, Smart Tim Drake, Tim please stop running around in gothams cave systems, Stalker Tim Drake, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, no beta we die like robin, Tiny Tim Drake, Tim Drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag, Crack Treated Seriously, Humor, Tim looking at the cave system under the city: you know this might as well happen, Bruce please stop him, Child Neglect, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Inspired by Welcome to Night Vale, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Magic shennanigans, BAMF Stephanie Brown, BAMF Cassandra Cain, Edward Nygma Tries, Cryptid Tim Drake, Tim Drake is Crow, Tim Drake is Not Robin, Kid Fic, Stephanie Brown is Starling, Cassandra Cain is Black Bat, Cassandra Cain is Black Bird

Series: Part 1 of Gotham Caves and Reality Aberrations

Published: 2022-03-20

Completed: 2022-06-30

Words: 30,113

Chapters: 20/20

[eyitzme]

ᵘⁿˡᵘᶜᵏʸ ᶜʰᵃʳᵐˢ ;; ᵏᵃⁱᵐᵒⁿ ⁽ᵖ:ᵉᵍ⁾

Summary: Getting Damon Maitsu and Kai Monteago as godparents has made Toshiko Kayura’s life easier to an extent. After so much time together, she’s gotten used to them and expects to wake up and know they’re both there to help her when she needs it. However, that changes when Damon decides to resign from being a godparent, causing a rift between him and Kai. After a misadventure with Tozu, Toshiko decides that even if Damon will no longer be her godparent, she needs to fix Damon and Kai’s relationship before it’s too late! And maybe get Damon back as her godparent. That’s not too much to ask for, right? Word Count: 11,571 Warning: Slight Spoilers (Chapter 1 references) A/N: Did anyone ask for a Kaimon Fairly OddParents AU? No, but have one anyway. In case anyone wants to hear me ramble about how I got this idea, I was watching WeebyNewz’s P:EG Chapter 1 livestream a while ago, and the chat exploded with Wicked references when Damon and Kai were going to be roommates. A Kaimon Wicked AU would be cool, but I know nothing about Wicked other than the drama, the fact it has a music and a book, the fact it's a Wizard of Oz fanfic, how it has green and pink lesbians, the bad promotions, and something about holding space for Defying Gravity or whatever the song’s called. Fortunately, I remember another popular green-pink duo after thinking of how the marketing team tried to say everything pink and green was Wicked but Cosmo and Wanda already got there first, but this ended up straying a lot farther from Cosmo and Wanda than I wanted. Still, since you’re here, take a Kaimon Fairly OddParents AU, featuring Toshiko as Timmy since she’s the youngest so it felt right to give her that role (I haven't watched the remake so I don’t know anything about Wanda and Cosmo’s new godchild). By the way, if you see something that’s inaccurate to the actual Fairly OddParents lore, just ignore it. We’re here for a fun time so don’t think too hard about it. Also, Toshiko’s age isn’t clear because I wasn’t writing this with a clear age in mind for her. You can keep thinking of her as 14 or youngre (older than however old a third-grader is, though, because her blackmail is mentioned). Doesn't really matter. Don't forget your daily clicks!

i’ll do my best to fix this!

It wasn’t as if Toshiko Kayura was wishing and praying for godparents every day for years. She didn’t even know they existed. After another horrible day of not being taken seriously with the threat of the worst babysitter in the world coming later, Toshiko was sulking in her bedroom when she noticed the Magic 9-Ball she received from a past client. She wanted to get her anger out and threw the Magic 9-Ball, but after it hit the walls, two fairies she would later learn were named Damon Maitsu and Kai Monteago appeared. They claimed to be her godparents who could grant her any wish so long as it followed certain rules. Now, she was stuck with them for better or for worse.

Despite how long she had been with them, there was little Toshiko knew about Fairy World, the place where fairies who weren’t currently being godparents on Earth lived. She had never been there, but Damon would sometimes go there, whether it be for business or matters he didn’t share with her but did share with Kai. Today, Damon had left, leaving her with just Kai.

In the safety of her bedroom, Toshiko felt more relaxed talking to her godparents when she knew there was no one who could look at her weirdly for seeming to talk to herself. Laying on her bed, she told Kai, “I’ve been meaning to ask, how do you know Mochi? How did you meet, when did you meet...?”

“How I met him?” Kai, having taken one of her fans without her permission again, waved it to his face several times as he thought. “That was years ago. Like, take your age, and multiply by 1,000. I think that’s how long we’ve known each other.”

She wrinkled her nose. “You think? You couldn’t even be bothered to remember the date you met Damon? Whatever do you do on anniversaries?”

“I... No one wants me to do anything on any anniversary!” he hurriedly defended.

She glared at him before sighing. “Anyway, you only partially answered my question. You answered when you met him, as poorly as it was, but you didn’t answer how. Was it through training to become godparents?”

“I mean, yeah, we met at Fairy Academy,” Kai admitted. “We didn’t really train together, though. Just kinda met.”

His answers bothered her, but the topic of Damon reminded her of his absence. “What is Damon doing right now, anyway? He didn’t have the decency to tell me where he was going, although I assume it’s in Fairy Land. If I was not so used to it—which is shameful on your ends—I would scold him the second I saw him again!”

Kai stopped fanning himself. “I don’t know, actually. He usually tells me where he goes, but today... Maybe he’s planning something.”

“So, he does special things on anniversaries, but you don’t?”

“First of all, we both  don’t do anything special on anniversaries, and second, there aren’t any anniversaries coming up. I don’t even actually know if he’s planning something.”

“Perhaps something happened to him.” She sat up. “I suppose the only way to find out what he is doing is to find out ourselves.”

“Okay, cool idea, but how do we do that if we don’t even know where he is?”

“Can I wish to go to Mochi’s location?”

He thought for a few seconds. “I don’t think Da Rules say anything about it. I’m not sure, though, but I am not reading through Da Rules for this.”

“There’s no harm in trying. I might have to use his real name, so...” Toshiko cleared her throat. “I wish to go to Damon’s location.”

Kai smiled as he took out his wand. In a flash, they were gone. They appeared in front of a building that resembled houses on Earth, but the main differences lied in the pastel colours and the rounder shape. Frankly, she never thought Damon was one to like pastel colours, considering how his clothes seemed to mostly be darker colours, but she could admit that she didn’t know a lot about her godparents.

“Hey, it does work!” Kai grinned as he handed Toshiko her fan that he still had on him. He turned to look at the building with a confused frown. “Why’s Damon at his house?”

“Mochi lives here? It’s a nice house,” Toshiko complimented.

Kai smirked. “If you think this is nice, I’ll show you my house one day! It’s so much better than Damon’s!”

“Let’s get Mochi first.” Toshiko was about to knock on the door before wondering if that was impolite for Fairies. She learned it wasn’t when Kai knocked on the door for them.

When Damon opened the door, his eyes widened when he saw them before he frowned. “What are you doing here?”

“We were worried about you, right, Toshiko?” Kai put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her to his side, trapping her.

“Yes, we were...” She tried to get free for a few seconds before giving up. “You need to start telling me where you’re going, Mochi. I can’t always wish to go to your location! That is terribly improper!”

“You won’t have to worry about it soon,” he told her.

“Because you’re going to tell me where you’re going from now on? Good choice. It’s polite to—”

“No, because you won’t have me as your godparent anymore.”

Any words that Toshiko could say disappeared as she felt Kai’s grip on her shoulders tightened. Even if Kai could only say, “What...?” it was better than her.

Damon looked unfazed, as if this news was nothing more than noticing the sun coming out after some rain. “I’m resigning from being a godparent. I’ve figured I’ve been through enough of it to move on to a different part of my life.”

“Wh-What part?” asked Kai. “You spent thousands of years in the Fairy Academy to become a godparent—we spent thousands of years becoming godparents!”

“I put those thousands of years to use. I would say I was a decent godparent.”

“You’re still a godparent! Toshiko’s still a child. She still needs us!”

“She needs a godparent. She doesn’t need two of us. Godchildren don’t usually get two godparents anyway. As long as you’re here, she will still get what she needs.”

“But I agreed to being a godparent with you, not by myself! How am I supposed to take care of Toshiko by myself?”

Damon’s frown deepened. “By...granting her wishes? You’re making it sound like you’ve never been a godparent before.”

“I’ve never been a godparent without you. I don’t know how to be a godparent by myself! You should’ve talked to me about this, you know. You should’ve at least given me some sort of heads-up!”

“That...” Damon sighed. “Listen, what’s done has been done. I already sent in my resignation letter. There’s nothing we can do about it anymore.”

“Yes, you can!” insisted Kai. “Make whatever excuse you need to, just take back your resignation letter! Stay with me for longer! At the very least, stay until Toshiko doesn’t need us anymore!”

“I already told you, Toshiko needs a godparent, not two. It isn’t a problem if I resign.”

“Maybe to you, but not to me! And definitely not to Toshiko! She’s right here, so let’s ask her—”

“Don’t bring her into this, Kai...”

“Don’t bring her into this? This whole thing revolves around her!” Kai gently shook her. “Toshiko, do you want Damon to stay, yes or no?”

Both of their eyes fell onto her—maybe even the neighbours, if any of them had come out to see what the commotion was about. Toshiko didn’t know if any of them did; she couldn’t look anywhere that wasn’t her feet. Even with her fan covering her face, she didn’t want to cry over this. She was stronger than that, but the tears kept trying to find a way out.

If she had to cry, she wanted to get one question out to Damon before then: “Did I do something...?”

She couldn’t even bring her eyes up to Damon’s face, but she could hear his answer clearly: “You didn’t do anything, Toshiko.”

She thought hearing that would make her feel a bit relieved and stop the tears, but it didn’t. It did the opposite, actually. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to keep her sobs as quiet as she could. Her fan was basically pressed against her face.

“Take her home, Kai,” she heard Damon say.

“You think you can tell me what to do now?” Kai had responded.

“Staying here isn’t going to cheer her up. Take her home and make her happy. Isn’t that what a godparent is supposed to do?”

Kai didn’t respond. Toshiko heard him sigh, and the next thing she knew, they were back in Toshiko’s bedroom.

All of that, and Damon didn’t even have the courtesy to offer an invitation to talk inside his house.

. . .

Toshiko was sure she didn’t need a babysitter, especially since she had godparents, but she apparently wasn’t if her parents kept hiring Tozu, the worst babysitter in the world. He was pure evil, and he took fun in seeing her in horrible situations. She had no idea where her parents found a man with a goat head, but wherever they did, she hoped they would put him back there soon.

“Tozu’s coming?” Kai shuddered when she told him. He seemed to sink into her mattress. “Why does he have to come? Can’t you get some nice babysitter for a change?”

“My parents think Tozu is the nicest person in the world.” Toshiko opened her fan wider. “What do you think he’ll do this time?”

“Good question...” Hi’s eyes widened. “What if he takes you on another train to a locked building and told you that you had to find your way out of it yourself again? That was already a nightmare, but if he added murder—like you had to kill someone to get out—I think I’d throw up...”

Toshiko waited for the familiar voice to tell Kai that he was being stupid for worrying about something like this before she remembered Damon wasn’t here anymore. It had been a week since she found out Damon was resigning from being a godparent, but it was still hard to believe that was her reality. Judging from the look on Kai’s face, he was going through the same thoughts as her.

Since both of them were wondering about Damon, Toshiko asked, “How long does it take for godparents to stop being godparents?”

Playing with the necklace he always wore, Kai answered, “Since Damon handed his resignation letter a week ago, I think he still has three weeks left before his court hearing.”

“Court hearing?”

“Being a godparent is serious work. How powerful our magic is depends on how much humans believe in our existence. Not only are godparents helping make children’s lives better, but they’re also partly responsible for helping to keep our magic going. The Fairy Council will see if he actually should resign, so technically, Damon’s still your godparent.”

“Then why doesn’t he come see me?”

He shrugged. “It’s...probably personal reasons...”

That didn’t make her feel any better. Perhaps she needed something else to focus on. “Kai, I want to make a wish. I wish—”

“That’s cool and all, but I don’t know if I’m in the mood to grant any wishes...”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “What do you mean, you’re not in the mood? You’re my godparent; your job is to grant my wishes.”

He sighed. “I know, but I just don’t feel like it. I feel too depressed, you know...?”

“If Mochi was here, he would grant my wishes.”

“And if Damon was here, then I wouldn’t be feeling so depressed! I don’t even feel like having my wand anymore...” Kai threw his wand across her room.

That conversation led them nowhere.

Toshiko decided to search through her bedroom for something to do. There had to be something she could do before Tozu arrived and made her even more miserable. There were no games she felt like playing, there was nothing in her closet, there was nothing on her desk...

“Oh, I forgot about this!” Toshiko pulled out a piece of paper from one of the drawers on her desk.

“Forgot about what?” Kai asked from her bed.

“Back when we first met, I drew a picture of us together. Me, you, and Damon. I knew I would remember this moment, but I wanted a physical reminder of it. It wasn’t a reminder, though, since I forgot about the reminder.”

“Wait, you drew a picture of us?” Kai sat up. “I wanna see!”

Toshiko sat on her bed and showed Kai the drawing. It was nothing other than the three of them together. It wasn’t anything special, and in her opinion, the drawing itself was childish. Her drawing skills had improved since they first met, and she had also matured as a person. This photo meant nothing to her.

Kai, on the other hand, was treating it like the finest piece of art he had ever laid his eyes on. The compliments from him just kept coming and coming. Toshiko honestly felt a bit overwhelmed.

“We look like one happy family,” Kai said.

“You’re supposed to be my godparent,” she replied. “That makes me technically your child.”

“Aww, and I’m your mom and Damon’s your dad?”

“If you want to say that, then sure.” She frowned at the drawing. “But I guess I’m the divorced child now... Have you talked to Mochi, by the way?”

“I’ve, umm... I’ve been ignoring him,” Kai admitted.

“Ignoring or avoiding?” Toshiko asked.

After a pause, he said, “Avoiding.”

“Nothing is going to get solved if you keep avoiding him,” she pointed out.

“He’s dead-set on resigning, though...”

“Not that! I meant in your relationship . If you keep avoiding him, your relationship will fall apart. You’re angry at him now,” she said, “but I know you like being with Mochi. You wouldn’t be my godparents—plural—otherwise.”

“But he doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“You’re only saying that as an excuse to not talk to him. In the future, you’ll be wishing that you did talk to him and kept in touch. That’s assuming you get to the point where you avoid him for a long time, of course. I’m assuming that won’t be the case, since you’re going to talk to him.”

“Are you making me talk to him?”

“I’m not going to make you do anything. I just know you’ll do it because you want to.”

Kai sighed and leaned against her headboard. “Why am I listening to my godchild lecture me about ignoring Damon...?”

“It’s because I’m your godchild that I’m saying this,” Toshiko said. “I know you’ll both leave me when I’m an adult, so I understand our relationship will fall apart one day, but I don’t want to see my godparents’ relationship fall apart.”

“I guess you have a—”

There was a knock on the front door.

Toshiko sprang off the bed as Kai transformed into a small pink pillow resting on her headboard. Her bedroom was on the far end of the hallway, meaning she had to run to get to the stairs. When she reached the balcony, she saw the front door open just in time to see her parents leave and Tozu shutting the door behind them. His gaze fell onto her. Despite having no mouth, she knew he was smiling.

“Hello, Toshiko!” he said, waving at her to join him downstairs. “It’s great to see you again! Have any luck with your new costumers? Have they found any love yet?”

“Yes, Tozu...” She didn’t move from her spot, her hands gripping the railings next to her. With Kai’s fear of Tozu, Damon always disguised himself as some sort of green accessory whenever she had to face Tozu. She always had that comforting weight of him on her, but now that he was gone, she felt too light and vulnerable.

Tozu looked around. “Say, I’m hungry, and I need to use the bathroom. Make me a sandwich, okay?”

Toshiko knew she should stand her ground—that would be what Damon would encourage her to do—but she found herself meekly saying, “O-Okay, Tozu,” and going to the kitchen.

Unsure of what kind of sandwich to give Tozu, Toshiko settled for a basic tuna sandwich. When Tozu came back downstairs, Toshiko spotted a bright light and felt her heart stop when she noticed him carrying a wand in his hand—Kai’s wand.

“You have a fun toy!” Tozu waved it around.

“That was in my room,” she managed to say. “Why were you in my room...?”

“Oh, I lied about needing to go to the bathroom. As your babysitter, I have to make sure you’re safe. Matchmaking people at such a young age... Someone will give you something you shouldn’t have one of these days.”

“Give me my wand back...”

“I will after I’m done playing with it! Grownups need to play too, you know!” He picked up the sandwich, and his visible eye had some disgust. “Tuna? I’m not a big fan of that. I wish you had given me something like a ham sandwich.”

Toshiko’s eyes widened as the sandwich changed from a tuna sandwich to a ham sandwich. Tozu blinked a few times at the sandwich before saying, “Oh, forgive me, Toshiko. It appears you did give me a ham sandwich.”

“Y-Yes, I did...” Nervous laughter followed.

Since Tozu was busy with his sandwich, Toshiko took the chance and went to her bedroom. She found a panicked Kai who, once seeing her, immediately said, “He just came so fast, and I couldn’t stop him! He has my wand now, so he can grant any wish in the world! What do we do?”

Toshiko tugged on her sleeves. “I-I don’t know, I was going to ask you that...!”

“Damon would be better at this...” After a moment of thought, Kai said, “Okay, here’s the plan: I distract him with whatever magic I can do, and you grab the wand!”

“How will you distract him?”

“I’ll be stuff like the pizza delivery man, a man delivering an online order, a man trying to sell something...”

“He’ll definitely become suspicious...”

“I don’t see you coming up with any better ideas!”

Toshiko didn’t have any ideas, let alone any that would be better than Kai’s. They had no choice; this was what they were going to do to get Kai’s wand back from Tozu.

. . .

Toshiko and Kai discovered early on that Tozu decided the wand looked so cool that he would keep it on him at all times. He kept accidentally making wishes, such as wishing the rug was a different colour or that a show about 16 students trapped in a killing game was airing on the television right now. Toshiko successfully helped convince him to think these were all coincidences, but they were risking him finding out the truth with every second that passed. Unfortunately, she and Kai were running out of ideas.

“Why did Damon have to leave?” Kai groaned when they returned to Toshiko’s bedroom after another failed attempt. “If he was here, this problem would’ve already been solved! He’s always been better than me at everything...”

“I wouldn’t say at everything.” At his look, Toshiko said, “I’m trying to make us happier.”

“Don’t bother. We failed again, and at this rate, I’ll be taken away as your godparent too.”

She frowned. “What will happen if you’re no longer my godparent?”

“I’ll probably be taken away before Damon’s court hearing, so the court will probably say Damon will still have to be your godparent. But if they agree to let him resign...” His shoulder’s drooped. “You’ll forget about us.”

“Oh.” Forgetting about Kai and Damon felt so unreal. She could live without them in her life, but she couldn’t imagine not ever knowing them.

“But we still have time!” Kai said with a forced cheerful tone. “We can still get it back! And who knows? Maybe Tozu will give it back before he leaves!”

“He’s stolen my stuff before. He once stole a whole suitcase full of my clothes and other stuff, remember? We had to fight to get it back...”

“M-Maybe this time is different! We can still get the wand back, and I’ll still be your godparent!”

“Kai? Can I ask something?” With his full attention, Toshiko asked, “What magic can you do without a wand?”

He counted what he could do on his fingers. “I can float, I can shape-shift, I can heal really fast, and I can teleport me and other stuff to places.”

She nodded along. “I have an idea. Let’s teleport to Mochi and ask for his help!”

After a second, he said, “You can go. I’ll stay here.”

“Why? It’s just Mochi. You were the one who kept complaining about his absence too.”

“Well, someone’s gotta keep watch on the wand, and since it’s my wand...”

“Aren’t you scared of Tozu?”

Kai didn’t reply. Instead, Toshiko found she had been teleported in front of Damon’s house again—alone. Had he no manners?

She couldn’t leave Fairy Land alone, though, so she knocked on Damon’s front door like Kai did last time. When there was no answer, she knocked again and again. Soon, she was pounding on the door. Was he ignoring her like Kai was ignoring him? He was the one who said she didn’t do anything!

“Toshiko, I’m right here.”

Toshiko turned around and saw Damon approaching his house. Feeling the blood rush to her face, she asked, “How long were you there...?”

“I just got here.” He looked around and looked a little disappointed. “Where’s Kai?”

“Back at my house.” The words came rushing out of her as she said, “I know you don’t want to be a godparent, but you’re still technically my godparent right now, so you should come back and help Kai and me because Tozu took his wand, and we need your help getting it back.”

Damon listened in silence. He seemed to be debating whether he should agree before he sighed and held out his hand to her. “Let’s go.”

Toshiko smiled and took Damon’s hand. She knew he would be able to make things better again.

. . .

When Toshiko returned to her bedroom, she asked Kai if Tozu had done anything. After Kai answered that he hadn’t, he asked, “Isn’t Damon meant to be with you?”

“It’s all part of his plan.” Toshiko took a fan from her bedroom and covered her face. “We have to wait a few minutes. Mochi said to tell you that you shouldn’t be worried, even though you will be. He says you need to stay calm no matter what.”

“He can’t control how I feel...”

Toshiko sighed. “We have some time before the plan starts, so I’m going to tell you this now: Kai, you need to get yourself together. Your marriage is going to fall apart.”

“My marriage?” He frowned. “What marriage? When was I married? Who am I married to? I don’t remember any of this.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m obviously talking about your marriage with Damon.”

“But...we’re not married?”

“You’re... You’re not?” At the shake of his head, she lifted her fan higher. “O-Oh...”

A smile spread across his face. “Wait, you actually thought we were married?”

“I-I was introduced to you both as my godparent s , so I thought...you were at least dating...”

Laughter burst from Kai. “I promise, I’m not married to him! Seriously, just being godparents together doesn’t mean we’re together.”

“Didn’t you just say today when you saw that old picture I drew that you were my mother and Damon was my father?”

“Just because I said that doesn’t mean we’re together. Friends always say stuff like that! Oh, and by the way—”

“Friends usually say one of you is the parent and the other is the aunt, the uncle, the older sibling...”

“Well, me and Damon are just different. I told you, take your age and times it by 1,000, and that should be about how long me and Damon have known each other. We’re probably closer than regular friends ‘cause of that.”

“How many godchildren have you had over these thousands of years?”

“A lot more than I can count.” He sighed. “You know, we didn’t take that long of breaks between godchildren. Actually, we spent those breaks together, too. We were inseparable after our first godchild. Like, it felt like my whole life changed after meeting him.”

“Do you feel like you can’t live a life without ever knowing Mochi anymore?”

“Yeah, exactly!”

She contemplated what question she could ask him before settling on, “How does being with Mochi make you feel?”

“Being with Damon... Safe, I guess. I know if I can’t do something, he’ll help me.”

“Does being with Mochi make you have this warm feeling inside you? It can feel like a mix of safety, comfort, peace, and happiness. Do you feel like that even at the thought of Mochi?”

“Now that you mention it, I do feel like that around Damon, but when I think of him, I’m just angry and sad at him for quitting.”

“Would you feel angry and sad if you were a godparent with someone else, but they also quit without telling you?”

“Obviously, but that would never happen! Damon’s the only Fairy I’d ever be godparents with! Don’t get me wrong,” he said, “there are cool Fairies out there, but I’d never be godparents with them. Damon’s the only one who had enough patience to last thousands of years with me, and honestly, I don’t like the thought of sharing a godchild with anyone but him.”

“Does sharing a godchild feel too intimate for you? ‘Child’ is in the name, after all; you’re practically raising a living creature together.”

“Yeah, yeah, you get it! Sharing a godchild with anyone else just feels too weird, but I’m happy to share 1,000—more than that, actually! I’m happy to share a ton more with Damon. Why are you asking me all this anyway?”

It appeared she would have to be the one to tell him.

Toshiko extended her free hand and waited for Kai to take it, albeit hesitantly. Slowly and carefully, she said, “Kai, we both know that I am a matchmaker and have lots of experience in matchmaking, even with how young I am. You might not witness any of my matchmaking sessions because of how boring you find it, but you know I’m not lying. I’m speaking as a matchmaker, your godchild, and someone who cares about you when I say—”

The fire alarm went off.

Ignoring what she wanted to say before, Toshiko said, “Damon said to stay calm!”

“I-I am calm! I’m always calm!” Kai’s expression looked anything but calm.

Hearing Tozu’s footsteps coming up the stairs, Toshiko quickly told him, “Try to get the wand back when we leave,” before Kai turned into a pink ball.

Her bedroom door opened, revealing Tozu who didn’t have Kai’s wand on him. Before she could react, he grabbed her arm and yanked her forwards. “I’m not getting paid if you die...”

Despite knowing the cause, she still asked, “What happened?”

“The fire alarm went off, and I smell smoke. We are getting out of here, and you’re not going to get a scratch on you.”

“But...you never cared if I died before...”

“Before, I could make up some cheap story about your death. If you die here, it will obviously be my fault to some extent.”

At least she learned something about Tozu.

Outside, the other neighbours had come out too. The smoke detectors had gone off in their homes. In the distance, a fire could be seen. When Tozu spotted it, he muttered, “I didn’t know this area was close to wildfires.”

“It’s not supposed to be,” Toshiko replied. She wondered when he would let go of her arm.

The fire looked to be quite a while away, but some neighbours were evacuating. Tozu looked at them and said in a voice that was too cheerful, “I know! Let’s go to the park, Toshiko!”

“But last time we went to the park, you forced me to solve a murder you set up and would kill me too if I failed to get the right answer under a time limit...”

“You only need one to survive, and you have two! That was a fun time. Should we do it again?”

Spotting a child who looked to be around her age, Toshiko said, “I see my friend. Can I go?”

Tozu stared at her with his unblinking eye. She tried not to squirm. Finally, he let go and said, “Meet me back at the house in three hours. Your parents will be back a little after that. They don’t have to know we weren’t together.”

“R-Right! Umm... Thank you, Tozu.” Toshiko headed off in the direction of the child. When she knew Tozu wasn’t looking, she turned and, with the houses, hid herself from Tozu’s sight. Damon was waiting not too far away.

In his hands were two sticks with roasted marshmallows on them. “I got them for you and Kai,” he said as he handed her one.

“Did you use the fire for this?” As he nodded, Toshiko took a bite out of one marshmallow. With the perfectly crisped outer layer and soft inside, she swore she could taste Heaven.

That explained the wish. After quickly going over Da Rules, Damon said they could wish for a fire as long as it didn’t harm any living thing. That meant Toshiko could wish for the smoke detectors in all the houses to go off, and if that didn’t make everyone leave, she could wish for a fire far away that didn’t harm any humans or plants. He told her to wish that it would happen after a few minutes so she could tell Kai and to wish it would end after a few minutes to end it without any problems. She had assumed he didn’t want to talk to Kai as much as Kai didn’t want to talk to him, but if he had roasted marshmallows just for Kai, it appeared she was wrong.

“Toshiko!” Kai’s voice rang out as he appeared next to her with his wand. He waved it around as he sang, “I got my wand back!”

“You should thank Mochi for that. It was his idea,” she said before taking another bite out of her marshmallows.

It was only then did Kai seem to notice Damon. “Oh, hi. Yeah, umm... Thanks for helping.”

“It’s nothing.” He held out the other stick with roasted marshmallows. “I got you this.”

Kai’s eyes lit up. “You got me roasted marshmallows? Damon, thank you so much! I haven’t had these since forever!”

“It’s barely been 100 years.” To Toshiko, he said, “Kai and I were the godparents around the time roasting marshmallows started becoming a thing. Our godchild fell in love with it, and so did Kai. Apparently, Kai only liked the ones that godchild roasted. Ever since the godchild grew up and didn’t need us anymore, he never ate one since then.”

“Then why is he eating them right now?”

“Since he didn’t want to learn how to do it like that kid, I decided to learn.”

“Shouldn’t it be possible to make another one like it with magic?”

“That’s what I kept telling him,” interrupted Kai. “But this guy keeps saying it doesn’t taste the same if magic is used, so he spent all these years trying to perfect something a human kid 100 years ago did.”

“It still isn’t that accurate,” said Damon. “The texture is still a little off. You could say it’s close enough, but if I keep trying for at least a few dozen years, it might—”

“Oh, my God, Damon, these are perfect!” Each stick had five marshmallows on them, and Kai was already halfway done. “I feel like I’m back at the little house with the fire starting and the sunlight streaming in through the windows ‘cause the poor kid was horrified of the dark...”

“I just said—” Damon sighed, and a smile came onto his face. “Well, if you’re happy with it, I guess I did a good job.”

Kai was about to eat the last marshmallow when he realized Toshiko had her own stick with roasted marshmallows but not Damon. “Hey, why don’t you have one?”

“They were just for you and Toshiko.”

“But you should have one! You went through the all the trouble of making these.” He pulled the last marshmallow off the stick and held it near Damon’s mouth. “Here, have it!”

Instead of arguing as expected, Damon let Kai feed him the marshmallow. His expression towards the smiling Kai didn’t look as annoyed as expected either.

Oh, no. Toshiko finished her last marshmallow! Now what was she supposed to focus on to prevent feeling like she was interrupting something?

Kai’s eyes fell on Toshiko, and his smile fell as he seemed to come to the realization someone else was with them. Along with that realization, he turned his back to Damon. “I’m still mad at you,” he said to him.

As Damon’s expression flickered to one that had more sadness, Toshiko said, “I would forgive him just enough to talk to him if I was you. He brought you marshmallows!”

“You’re just easy to be swayed.”

“No, I’m not! My heart is just soft and delicate, so I’m more empathetic, but that does not mean I’m easily swayed!”

“Whatever makes you sleep at night.”

Usually, when one of her godparents annoyed her, Toshiko would make a point to spend more time with the other. Since Damon was here, and he was still technically her godparent, she turned to him and asked, “Can we go somewhere? Like Fairy World? I want to see more of it.”

“Oh, so now you’re on his side?” Kai frowned at her. “Come on, Toshiko. Who’s your favourite between me and Damon?”

“Mochi,” Toshiko answered without hesitation, earning a chuckle from Damon.

Kai stared at her with a blank expression before turning his back to both of them, muttering about how he didn’t care if they hung out and it wasn’t any of his business.

“I can take you to Fairy World,” Damon told Toshiko. “Just don’t do anything that makes people stare at us, okay?”

“Okay!” Toshiko held Damon’s hand as he took them to Fairy World, leaving a grumpy Kai behind.

When the magic was gone, Toshiko saw that Damon took them to a park. It didn’t have a playground, but it looked pretty to look at. Damn started walking without telling her, and she quickly caught up. As they walked around the park, Toshiko asked, “Are humans allowed in Fairy World?”

“There’s no rule saying they aren’t,” Damon answered. “I heard it might change soon, though. The Fairy Council is thinking about making it so humans can’t come here without their godparents, and godparents who currently have godchildren can’t come here without special permission. It’s all just rumours, though, so don’t worry about it. You’re safe to come here for now.”

“Speaking of the Fairy Council, Kai says you’ll meet with the Fairy Council to resign from being a godparent in a few weeks.”

“I should be.”

“And...there isn’t anything I can say that can change your mind?”

She expected to hear something similar to him telling her to not bother trying, but she didn’t receive a response.

She couldn’t stop a smile from coming onto her face. “Oh! I can convince you to stay!”

“You’re not going to,” he said.

“Said who? I can be really convincing,” she threatened.

“Helping someone realize they have feelings for someone else is different from this.”

“I don’t think so.” If she pretended that being a godparent was someone Damon had feelings for and quitting was someone Damon was trying to convince himself he had feelings for, it wasn’t that different from matchmaking. There were quite a few people she helped who had that problem. “Why do you want to quit?”

He sighed. “I shouldn’t have said anything... Are you going to stop asking those questions soon?”

“No! I want answers, Mochi!”

“I can give you at least one answer if you don’t call me that. And preferably not here,” he said, looking around. There weren’t a lot of other Fairies nearby, but she could understand that being around other people might not be the most comfortable.

“Then where should we go, Mochi?” Toshiko asked. “Keep in mind, you didn’t invite me inside your house even though I’ve gone to your house twice...!”

“You’re not going into my house, Toshiko.” Damon didn’t let her say another word before he used his wand and teleported them away.

The sound of rushing water was the first thing Toshiko noticed about the new area. When her eyes got used to the scenery, her heart dropped as she realized she was above a waterfall. She screamed and flailed around until she realized she wasn’t falling. When her gaze fell on Damon, she saw him using magic to carry her along with an amused smile. If she didn’t have questions to ask him, she would wipe that smile off his face and go back to Kai!

However, since she did have questions, she asked very politely like a true lady, “Where are we?”

He pointed to a large yellow sign in the distance. “This is Fairy Falls, the only large body of water in Fairy World.”

Now knowing she was under no danger, Toshiko took a better look around. “It looks like Niagara Falls.”

“That’s the waterfall between Canada and the United States, isn’t it?”

“It is. Why are we here out of everywhere, though?”

“It was the first place I could think of going.” He paused for a moment. “I think it’s because I usually go here with Kai after we leave a godchild. We usually go over the falls—which made me forget you can’t fly.”

“Which means I could’ve been dead. Very irresponsible,” she muttered.

“If I saved you from Tozu from using you to test that execution of making you sit on some sort of treadmil taking you to a pit of fire and making fun of your situation by making it impossible to get to the exit door right in front of you, I would never let you die.”

She huffed. “Why do you and Kai come here anyway?”

He shrugged. “It’s a form of tradition for us. Just Kai and I, I mean. Other Fairies don’t do this. Kai was really excited when we graduated from Fairy Acadmey. He wanted to do something immediately, and since I’ve wanted to come here for a while, I took us to Fairy Falls. He was bored of it at first, but he grew to like it enough to willingly go here with me every time we leave a godchild.”

“Is it relaxing for you here?”

“It is.”

“Then why do I have to yell to make sure you can hear me?”

“You’re just not used to it yet—and I’m a used to Kai’s loud voice. Here.” She stifled a scream as he moved her closer. “Now you don’t have to yell as loudly. I’m pretty sure the whole Fairy World heard you before.”

“Be quiet.” Toshiko gave herself a moment to recollect herself before she asked, “Were you friends with Kai during training? When I asked Kai, he made it unclear, but it sounds like you were.”

“You could say that.”

“Is that a yes or a no?”

“We knew each other, but I wouldn’t say we were friends. He wouldn’t either.”

“Did you hook up?”

“What— Why would we hook up while we were at Fairy Academy?”

“Your face is red.”

“Because you asked me if I hooked up with Kai! You’re a child; are you even supposed to be asking this?”

“I’m a matchmaker. Are you opposed to the idea of hooking up with Kai? Do you even like boys?”

“This conversation is ending here.” Damon used his wand to move them apart. Toshiko was sure he moved them further apart than they were when they first teleported to Fairy Falls.

“I have another question!” she shouted over the waterfall. “Why aren’t there any other Fairies here?”

“It’s usually a honeymoon spot for couples.”

“Does that mean you and Kai were once married, but now you’re divorced?”

Damon moved Toshiko further away from him.

She strained her voice to shout, “What was your relationship with Kai when you two were in Fairy Academy?”

Damon said something she could hear. She asked him to repeat it multiple times before he finally moved her closer and shouted, “Because Kai couldn’t graduate without me!”

She frowned. “That’s mean.”

“It’s the truth,” he said.

“When you say he couldn’t graduate without you, do you mean being godparents together?”

“Right. Kai couldn’t be a godparent by himself no matter how hard he tried.”

“Why?”

“If Kai didn’t already share it with you, then I’m not telling you.”

“At least tell me why you helped him.”

“Why I helped him?” Damon looked surprised at that question. Toshiko stayed silent as she gave him time to think. Eventually, he said, “You might think worse of me, but I only helped him because of how pathetic he was.”

“Explain, please.”

“Kai needed someone to help graduate. He...” His eyes looked conflicted before he said, “No one was very amiable towards him, so no one else offered to help him. Kai looked so desperate that I agreed to help, even though we hadn’t spoken to each other before.”

Knowing how Kai acted, Toshiko could believe that he made such a big deal about not being able to graduate that someone he had never spoken to would take notice. “Did you have fun being godparents with Kai?”

Again, the expression on his face made it clear he wasn’t expecting these questions. Being a matchmaker involved expecting the unexpected, though, so as someone who attended her matchmaking meetings more than her other godparent, he shouldn’t be surprised. “Being a godparent isn’t meant to be fun. You’re helping sad children become happier, which helps make sure Fairies can still use magic.”

“I didn’t ask if the job was fun. I asked if you had fun working with Kai.”

“If I say yes, will you leave me alone?”

In case he pushed her away again, Toshiko said quickly, “Kai had fun working with you too. I can tell. He’s really depressed now that you’re gone and doesn’t know if he can be a godparent or do anything without you.”

At first, Damon looked ready to push her away, but he didn’t. A thoughtful look was on his face. “He was?”

“I think he’s being depressed now. He didn’t feel like granting any of my wishes today because of how depressed he felt, which made him leave his wand unattended and let Tozu take it.”

He sighed. “See, it’s this kind of stuff that made him unable to graduate from Fairy Academy by himself...”

“How did you handle him for thousands of years?”

“If you’ve been around him for thousands of years like me, you learn how to deal with him.”

“Actually, no, that’s not what I wanted to ask. I meant...” She decided to word it with, “Why did you let it get to thousands of years? From what I know of Kai and how you’ve described it, I would assume most Fairies would’ve given up on Kai maybe 100 years in, 1,000 at most. You’ve been godparents with Kai for more than 1,000 years, though. Why were you okay with that, even though you knew how Kai can be?”

When Damon fell silent, Toshiko first assumed it was because he was thinking of an answer. Then, she realized he had no answer. Her suspicions were confirmed when he muttered, “These questions are so stupid.”

She smiled from behind her fan. “That’s all I needed to know.”

“All you needed to know for what? Why are you laughing?”

“It’s a secret! A lady’s secret. You can’t ask what it is since you’re a boy.”

A frustrated look appeared on his face. “I understand godchildren less and less with every new one—and I barely understood the first one...”

“I’m doing being angry at Kai, by the way,” she said. “Can you come with me, though? Kai might actually do stuff if you’re there...”

“And get him used to having me again?”

“It’s been thousands of years. A few more days together doesn’t make that much of a difference. Please? Do it for Kai?” she added quietly.

It was a flat-out denial she was expecting, but she was happy to take Damon looking like he was reluctant to take out his wand. Toshiko didn’t have time to think about how he probably wasn’t actually so reluctant; she now had a mission she needed to complete, and she needed to complete it today. If she couldn’t, then there was little to no chance she could ever have another opportunity like this again.

. . .

Kai, who was less grumpy than he was before, had made himself comfortable in Toshiko’s living room. He looked surprise when seeing Damon with Toshiko. When Toshiko explained that Damon was staying for a little longer, Kai said, “Didn’t know all it took for Damon to be a godparent for a day longer was to have our godchild ask nicely. Is it because she’s cute? Damon, who’s cuter, me or Toshiko?”

“Me,” Toshiko answered for Damon.

“I only came here because Toshiko said you were too depressed without me to do anything,” clarified Damon.

He sounded like he was already tired of Kai after being in his presence for a minute, but he had a smile when Kai sputtered out, “I was not depressed! Toshiko’s just— She’s making up lies! You taught her that! You’re corrupting our daughter!”

“Then how did your wand go missing? Toshiko told me it was because—”

“Don’t listen to her! Listen to me, and I’m telling you that Toshiko was the one who was depressed without you!”

“I was a little sad,” she admitted.

Damon patted her head. “See, that’s the difference between you and her, Kai. Toshiko can actually accept that she was sad over me. Plus, Toshiko is a child.”

“Kai has the maturity of a child, though.”

Kai pointed at her. “You taught her that, too!”

Toshiko smiled. It felt like how it was a few weeks ago, when Damon leaving them didn’t have any chance of happening. She didn’t have too good of a relationship with her parents, to say the least, but being with Damon and Kai made her feel like she was actually part of a family. It was far from a regular one, but it was hers.

The thought of it made her reminded of the picture. “Kai, what happened to my drawing?”

“I still have it on me,” he answered. “I was gonna tell you before, but I guess I forgot.”

“I didn’t know you started drawing,” Damon told her. When she told him why the drawing was made, he asked, “Can I see it?”

“It’s with Kai right now,” Toshiko answered as Kai proudly took it out and displayed it like he was offering Damon a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to become a millionaire.

“We’re like a happy family!” he told Damon. “You’re the dad, I’m the mom, and Toshiko’s our cute, little baby!”

“Why are you the mom?” asked Toshiko.

“Because I wouldn’t be pregnant! Oh, I forgot humans have more differences from Fairies than just having no magic,” he said when he noticed her confused look. “You know how human moms get pregnant? For Fairies, it’s the dad that gets pregnant.”

“Oh.” The question of how was on the tip of her tongue, but it was probably better for her own sake if she didn’t know all the details.

“Since we’re both boys, we both could get pregnant, but I feel like between me and Damon, Damon would be the pregnant one.”

“Mochi, are you listening to this?” Toshiko turned to look at him, expecting some sort of shocked look.

Instead, his focus was entirely on the drawing. He looked almost hypnotized by it. Maybe he was, since it took Kai saying Damon’s name after Toshiko tried several times to get Damon’s focus away from it. Since he looked a little lost, Toshiko said, “Kai thinks that between you and him, you would be the pregnant one.”

“What?” The shocked she was expecting earlier was now on his face.

“It’s just sort of vibes, you know?” Kai made vague gestures with his hand that wasn’t holding the drawing. “Like, you just look like someone who would be pregnant.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I-It’s a compliment, I swear!”

“How?”

“Hey, maybe let’s not talk about pregnancy in front of our daughter, okay? ‘Cause she’s so young and innocent...?”

Toshiko could defend herself right now, but she didn’t need to. It would look weird if she didn’t, though, so she settled for glaring at Kai before saying, “I have to go to the bathroom.”

The bathroom was on the second floor and was opposite to her bedroom. When she climbed up the stairs, she turned around the corner and hid behind the wall. Since she was apparently so “innocent,” they would definitely talk about something they didn’t want her to listen to. Unfortunately for them, she might need to in order to get more information and make sure her mission to succeed.

After a stretch of silence that felt like it lasted an eternity, her suspicions were finally confirmed. Damon was the one to break it. “Say whatever you want to tell me now. We might not get another chance like this again”

Kai’s voice, which had so much more emotion just before she left, sounded much more deflated now. “I don’t have anything I want to tell you.”

“You said earlier that you were still angry at me. If you—”

“I lied. I wasn’t angry at you anymore. I just...didn’t want Toshiko to know I knew this was coming...”

Damon said exactly what Toshiko was thinking. “You knew this was coming? What are you talking about?”

“I knew you would eventually get tired of having me around.” He sighed. His voice was quieter when he spoke again, but Toshiko could make out what he was saying. “I told you before, Damon, I know who I am and what everyone thinks of me. I know my magic is unstable, and no matter how many people I can get to like me, my magic will be the reason they start hating me again.”

“So, you were waiting for me to start hating you?”

“Obviously. I guess I’m just...still a little surprised it took you this long. Really long... But yeah,” he added, “I didn’t want to worry Toshiko with my own feelings. We’re here to help give her a worry-free life, you know? We can’t do that if she realizes I’m literally the reason it’s illegal for Fairies to have babies.”

“It’s not your fault I’m resigning, Kai.”

“Then give me a reason that doesn’t involve me.”

Toshiko resisted the urge to peek around the corner when there was only silence.

“You don’t have to keep lying to me, Damon. I’m not that stupid.”

“It’s— It’s not the reason you’re thinking, Kai. Your magic has nothing to do with this. Actually, I couldn’t care less about how insane your magic can get.”

“You do care—”

“But not to the extent you’re thinking. Yes, your magic can get crazy, yes, it can get annoying, but do you really think I’ve spent thousands of years with you just to hate you?”

“What other reason is there?”

Toshiko heard Damon sigh, and she froze when he said, “I don’t want Toshiko listening to this...”

“Toshiko’s in the bathroom,” Kai said, while Toshiko panicked over if she accidentally revealed herself. “Just say it really fast.”

“She said she was going to the bathroom, but if you taught her anything, it was how to eavesdrop.”

“Hey, I never eavesdrop. I’m too good of a person for that.”

“Toshiko might not be.”

As much as she wanted to keep listening, Toshiko hurried as quietly as she could to the bathroom. Only after she locked the door behind her did she realize she was trapped in there until a good amount of time had passed for her to act like she actually went to the bathroom. What did people do in bathrooms?

. . .

Toshiko waited for what felt like forever before stepping out of the bathroom. She went downstairs but found no one there. No one was in the kitchen or outside, either. Upstairs, her parents’ room was empty, and no one could be in the bathroom if she just came out of it. That meant Kai and Damon went to her bedroom, for whatever reason.

When Toshiko went into her bedroom, though, it was empty too. She was wondering if they both went to Fairy World when two arms trapped her from behind.

“I’ve caught her!” Kai declared as Damon stepped into her view. “Stay still, Toshiko! You’re now being held hostage!”

They were hiding! Probably as some very small objects. “Let me go! You should never treat a lady like this!”

“Ladies also shouldn’t eavesdrop on people.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Your footsteps aren’t as quiet as you think they are when you’re running away.”

Stupid feet giving her away... However, she wasn’t going to give in that easily. “Again, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re not good at lying.”

“Come on, Damon, interrogate her,” encouraged Kai. “Like... Do it like a pirate! Like that Jean guy!”

“Jean DeLamer? Wasn’t he a ship captain being interviewed on TV after he almost drowned at sea?” asked Toshiko.

“He looks like a pirate. Come on, Damon, be a pirate!”

Damon with a very unamused face said, “Yar, har, har. Tell us what ye’s intentions were when eavesdropping on me and my matey.”

Kai’s smile was evident in his voice alone. “Yeah, see, you’re getting it! Just add a bit more emotion next time, okay?”

“I’ll think about it after Toshiko admits to eavesdropping.”

She turned her head away from him. “I’m not telling you anything because I don’t know anything. I’m done talking about this.”

“She’s lying, and she’s trying to get out of this confrontation! May I attack, Captain?” Kai asked Damon.

“Go ahead.”

Toshiko squealed as Kai began his attack—tickles. How rude of Damon to just stand there and watch! Yes, she did eavesdrop, but she was on a mission! From how they were acting, she could assume she succeeded if they were getting along again, but she wasn’t satisfied with these results. That was a matter for later, though. Right now, she needed to stop Kai’s attacks as quickly as possible!

. . .

As the end of the day neared, Toshiko thought Damon was going to leave. He stayed for the night, though. He stayed the next day too. And the next. And the next. Soon, his court trial was only a few days away, and he spent all his time with her and Kai. At least he and Kai were getting along, making her sure that her plan had succeeded.

However, his long stay was confusing. Toshiko needed to confront him about this when Kai wasn’t there, so Toshiko asked Damon, “Can I go to your house, Mochi?”

Unfortunately, Kai immediately asked after, “Ooh, can I come too?”

“You’ve been to my house before, Kai,” Damon reminded him.

“And I like being there! Plus, you still have some of my clothes. I know I told you that you can keep some of them, but I didn’t say you could just take everything I own.”

“Your closet is full of clothes.”

“‘Cause I kept buying more after I realized I’m going to lose my entire closet to you if I don’t!”

“You could tell him to stop,” suggested Toshiko.

“But I don’t know if he’d listen to me.” He whispered in her ear, “And I also need him to take some of my clothes. I have clothes I would never wear, but I know Damon would love to have them in his closet. Plus, he does look nice wearing my clothes.”

“You could give him the clothes as a gift,” she whispered back. “You could wrap it nicely and add flowers as a bonus.”

“Damon’s more of a giver and not a receiver when it comes to gifts, though. I tried to get him a plushie that costed about five human dollars one time because I thought it looked like him, and he acted like I was offering him $1,000,000, but he’d have to go through Faggigly failure to get it.”

“Do you know what other human word starts with the first four letters of ‘Faggigly’ and could describe Damon and you?”

“Whatever plans you’re making aren’t going to work,” interrupted Damon. “Kai, you’re not coming to my house, and Toshiko, you’re never coming into my house.”

Kai pouted as Toshiko said, “But I want to go to Fairy World and see the inside of your house!”

“I can take you to Fairy World, but we’re not going into my house.”

“Where are we going?” asked Kai.

“It’s just going to be me and Toshiko.”

Kai’s smiling expression faded. “What? Why?”

“I have something I need to talk to her about.”

“As do I,” agreed Toshiko. “Other than about your house.”

“You could’ve just said that.”

“But I want to be in your house.”

“So, you guys are just going to leave me?” Kai sighed. “Have fun...”

After a second, Damon took him and Toshiko to Fairy World. They appeared to be in a forest. All the trees loomed over Toshiko, making her feel as big as an ant. “Do you and Kai come here often too?” she asked.

“No, but it’s private here.” Despite saying that, he still looked around like someone was listening in. Only weird people listened in on conversations they weren’t supposed to hear. “You can say whatever you wanted to tell me first.”

“Alright.” She waited for him to look at her. “I don’t mean this in a rude way, but why are you still here? I thought from the way you acted in Fairy Falls that you would leave after an hour or two, but it’s been days.”

“I was going to leave earlier,” he admitted, “but I changed my mind.”

“Why?”

“Reasons.”

“I can listen.”

“I’ll tell you later.”

“Later instead of never? You’re changing, Mochi. Your turn,” she said before he could reply. “Unlike you, I shall actually answer!”

“Right.” His gaze darted away. “Don’t laugh.”

“I am an empathetic person, but I can’t promise I won’t laugh at you.”

“Good enough, I guess.” After a pause, he began. “I’ve been... I’ve been wanting to tell Kai...”

“That you have feelings for him?” she finished. “It took you long enough, but fortunately, you have come to the right person! I am certain that Kai reciprocates your feelings, although I doubt he knows his feelings. Don’t worry; I will help him realize that, and after, I will tell you when—”

“That was not what I was going to say.”

“What else would there be to tell him?”

“That I’m changing my mind about resigning!”

“You’re— You’re staying?” She stared at his face that reminded her of a strawberry from how red he was. “You’re not lying, right?”

“I’m not lying. I didn’t bring you here to talk about...that. I brought you here—”

“You’re staying!” Toshiko wrapped her arms around him. He stumbled back a few steps from her sudden hug, but he didn’t push her away like the other times she tried to hug him. He was awkwardly patting her head, but she didn’t care. Damon was staying!

She knew Damon wasn’t a huge fan of physical touch, so she made herself pull away soon. When she did, she asked, “What made you change your mind? Weren’t you sure you were done with this part of your life?”

“I wasn’t done with this part of life.”

“Obviously, if you’re staying.”

“I meant... It’s that stupid drawing,” he sighed.

“The one I made?” She wrinkled her nose. “That drawing is so bad.”

“I know it’s bad, but...” After struggling with his words for a bit, he settled for, “I don’t know, I just couldn’t leave after looking at that.”

“If I knew I just needed to show you that picture to make you realize you couldn’t leave yet, I would’ve done that ages ago. Mochi, your resolve for moving onto a new part of your life isn’t strong.” His expression looked off to her. Guilty, he looked, and ashamed. Toshiko couldn’t help but ask, “Did you lie about why you were resigning?”

“To you and Kai. Everyone else who found out thought I had enough of Kai.”

“You didn’t bother to correct them?”

“That would mean I need to know the actual reason I’m resigning.”

She shook her head. “Mochi, I thought you were more professional than that. Quitting your job without knowing why? You were panicking about your crush on Kai, weren’t you?”

“I don’t—”

“I don’t want to hear any of it! I know Kai was part of the reason you were resigning, and I know you both have feelings for the other. Friends don’t spend thousands of years raising children together! Friends aren’t even godparents together! If you two got married right now, most people would be more surprised that you weren’t married before.”

Damon cleared his throat. “We’re not talking about this anymore, and we’re moving on to how to actually tell Kai about how I’m staying.”

She huffed. “Fine. We can talk about that. The answer is simple, though. All you have to do is just tell him. I’m not sure why you’re making this a big deal.”

“Kai will make it a big deal.”

“You’ve dealt with Kai for this long. You can find a way to handle that.”

He sighed. “It was a mistake asking you about this...”

“Maybe to you, but I am very happy about everything you told me.”

Telling Kai about the news might be a challenge to Damon, but they would move on from it fast. Soon, the two of them and Toshiko would get back to their version of normality. The future was looking bright!

. . .

Technically, Toshiko was eavesdropping again. However, she felt she had a right to hear Damon and Kai’s conversation about him staying. She was the one Damon went to for help, after all. Yes, she hadn’t given him the best advice in his eyes, but she also made a deal with Damon: He could tell Kai himself today, or she would tell Kai. It was obvious who would be the better person to break the news.

So, when they were watching the television showing a golf game mainly featuring a woman with a bunny visor yelling at everyone, Toshiko made an excuse about needing to look for something to help a costumer and ran up the stairs. Back in her hiding spot from the last time she eavesdropped, she waited for Damon to reveal his secret.

He did sooner than she expected. The way he randomly said, “I changed my mind about resigning,” wasn’t to her liking, but she could deal with it.

However, from how random it was, all Kai’s response was, “What?”

“I changed my mind,” he repeated. “I got approval to stay. We can still be godparents together.”

“You’re lying,” he said quietly. “You have to be. You can’t actually...”

“I’m not lying. But...if you don’t want that, I can—”

“No, don’t... Don’t try to leave again...”

Toshiko heard a sniff, then quiet crying. She risked taking a peek and saw Damon with his arms around a crying Kai. Neither of them said anything. There was a quiet comfort between them, the one that only came from knowing the other for most of your life.

Toshiko made sure she was quiet this time as she carefully made her way to her bedroom. This wasn’t something she needed to overhear.

. . .

Today was the day when Damon’s court case was supposed to be. Even though they all knew it was cancelled, the three of them still laid on the grass in Toshiko’s backyard and waited there silently like someone was going to come find Damon for not showing up.

The sun was setting. That showed that in the Fairy World, that showed the time for the court case had ended. Still, no one said anything for a while. Eventually, Damon broke the silence. “We’re never going to talk about this again.”

“Why?” asked Toshiko.

At his silence, Kai filled in. “He’s just embarrassed.”

“You did overreact.” Having a crush wasn’t scary, and from the way they currently were, they already spent so much time together that they might as well have been a married couple. Toshiko would have to find another day to deal with her godparents’ feelings for each other, and when that day came, she would make sure her godparents were happy with each other. She was a matchmaker—she could even be the best matchmaker—for a reason.

“I just said we’re not talking about this,” repeated Damon. “This topic will never come up again.”

Silence filled in the space after that. It didn’t last as long as before, though, when Kai said, “Toshiko, do you remember that one time when Damon wanted to quit being a godparent but came back before the day of his court case?”

“Shut up, Kai.” Damon’s voice didn’t have any of his usual annoyance in it.

“If you keep bothering Mochi,” added Toshiko, “he’s going to actually leave us.”

“I won’t.” This time, his voice sounded gentler.

Toshiko’s gaze was on the sunset. It was quiet. No one else mattered in the world except her and her godparents. Her mission had succeeded: She helped Kai and Damon make up, and she even did what she hoped but didn’t except to achieve, which was getting Damon back as her godparent. After such a tiring mission and crazy few weeks, she could use this moment of peace, and she knew her godparents would agree.

Kai said her old drawing made them look like a family. The families she saw always seemed to be close and love each other to the moon and back. She wasn’t like that with her parents, but she was sure she was like that a little with Kai and Damon. Speaking of the moon, she would love to stay outside for longer. They could treat it like they were camping, which could be a good excuse to have Damon make them more marshmallows. Kai would agree to do it if marshmallows were involved.

She, however, didn’t get the chance to tell her godparents about her fantastic idea. Another voice calling out her name came in before she could. That voice was annoying and sadly familiar.

Damon and Kai turned into toy balls as the door leading to the backyard opened. Tozu stepped out from inside the house. His red eye fixed itself on her. “What are you doing on the ground, Toshiko? You’re going to get dirty.”

“No, I won’t,” she said as she sat up.

“Right, you’re already dirty.”

“Just because I laid on the ground—”

“No, not because of the ground! You’re already dirty since you’re unfaithful. Do I really need to mention your third-grade boyfriend for you to remember?”

Toshiko’s heart stopped. “How did you get that information?”

“I have my ways. Speaking of having my ways...” Tozu’s voice lifted like he was smiling. “I have a friend named Mara! You haven’t met her before, but you will later. We’re going to see her!”

“What are we doing with Mara...?”

“It’s a surprise! It’s going to be so much fun! She has so many guns we can use!” Tozu went back inside and closed the door behind him.

Once he was far enough away, Kai turned back into his regular form and hissed, “That Mara girl is so going to kill you...!”

“I-I know...!”

Damon had transformed back to normal not too long after Kai. He added, “That’s why we’re here, Kai. We need to protect Toshiko.”

“But Tozu’s so scary...” He clasped his hands together. “Damon—”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’re safe too.”

He beamed. “Thank you, Damon!”

Toshiko would have to postpone her and her godparents’ fake camping. Their moment of peace was over, but if Tozu was being the worst babysitter in the world, and Damon was the one who indirectly confronted him the most with Kai fearing Tozu more than Toshiko, then they were back to normal. As nice as the peace was, knowing that things were always going to be the same as always like now made Toshiko appreciate Tozu just a little. Heavy emphasis on the last three words.

This fic was fun to write because of the fact I felt like I was writing an elaborate fic about a child with divorced parents trying to get them back together, featuring Tozu. It was actually harder to write than I thought, since I kept running into dead ends and kept having to rewrite parts. Honestly, this feels like it would’ve been better in a multi-chaptered fic, but I can’t write anything like the adventures in Fairly OddParents. I’m now attached to this AU, though, so yay for that. Maybe. On the topic of my sister, I told her I would put this in the notes, so I will. When first I got the idea of a Kaimon Fairly OddParents AU, I was scrolling through TikTok for Fairly OddParents stuff to get a quick idea. All I got was reminders that mpreg is canon in The Fairly OddParents universe. Since the green one was pregnant, I was genuinely thinking of writing a crack-taken-seriously Kaimon mpreg Damon Fairly OddParents AU oneshot. I didn’t write it though since I probably wouldn’t be able to take it seriously and didn’t think you guys would want that. I felt like I should mention it though, so that’s where Kai saying he’s the dad and Damon’s the mom after seeing Toshiko’s drawing. My sister also told me to tell you all that I have finals coming up in less than a week, but I spent more time studying Da Rules compared to studying for my Math finals (I also have LA finals but they’re easy). Maybe if Math had less word problems more boys kissing, I’d feel more inclined to study.

[bakedsimmer]

[steviewashere]

How Do Horses Wear Jeans?

Rating: General CW: None Tags: Post-Canon, Humor & Hijinks, Shenanigans, Established Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Domestic Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington & Dustin Henderson Have a Brotherly Friendship, Dork Steve Harrington, Smug Steve Harrington, This is Silly and Probably Stupid and Very Goofy, Steve Winning Bets, Eddie Siding With Steve (Even Unknowingly), They're in Love, Dialogue Heavy, Short & Sweet Steve and Dustin have bets and arguments constantly over hypothetical scenarios. And Steve has a secret weapon to defend himself which is Eddie's opinion on these scenarios.

🐴—————🐴 It’s five in the morning. He doesn’t want to be awake, but is awake despite. To spite, eventually. But he’s here. In his little kitchenette. Spooning dry Honeycomb past his lips because they ran out of milk, listening to the Felix the Cat clock tick away, and trying to make sense of whatever thing Steve’s got this morning.

Here’s the thing, Eddie isn’t a morning person. Not in the slightest. He’ll wake up when he eventually feels like it—and sometimes he’ll go back to sleep for a few hours more. Though, since he’s somehow started dating Steve Harrington, he’s up and at ‘em when Steve feels like it. At first, it was a total accident. Steve had hefted himself out of bed a little too hard, jostled Eddie awake, and then he just stayed awake.

(Wayne questions what black magic Steve brewed because in all the years he’s known his own son, Eddie has never—not even once—been awake at the same time as another person. Not willingly, at least.)

It just became a force of habit.

Steve’s up? Eddie’s up. Steve’s down? Eddie’s down. Steve’s hauling ass? Eddie’s hauling Steve’s ass—okay, so maybe that one’s different, but it still counts.

What he didn’t expect, though, was for Steve’s mind to be so active in the morning. Sure, he fantasizes about Steve slipping into some running sneakers and going about the neighborhood, boobying about or…whatever he does; running, probably, but Eddie’s horn-dog mind doesn’t make it past sweat and hair without half-passing out from a hard-on. Steve doesn’t go jogging in the mornings, that’s the weird thing. No, this puzzle of a man wakes up at five to down a plate of plain scrambled eggs—of all things—and guzzle a glass of orange juice. He wipes his lips with the back of his hand, after that satisfying glass of OJ, belches like he’s the only person on the face of the planet, and then says some oddball thought out loud for Eddie to parse.

Yesterday, it had been the question on whether or not jellyfish poop. “Yes,” he had told Steve, “they just shit out of their mouth. They only have one opening, y’know.” And Steve had stared at him. Cackled. Then proceeded to ask him what other creatures shit out of their mouth. Eddie didn’t have an answer. Steve came to the conclusion that Mike Wheeler does—and that…well, Eddie can agree with that most of the time.

This morning, Steve spoons heaping piles of eggs into his mouth. Chews with his mouth open as he’s talking—the heathen. Gets his usual glass of orange juice. (Keep in mind this is all while Eddie’s groggy, his bangs are slick to his forehead from hot flashes in the night, spooning sharp and dry cereal down his throat, trying to keep up.) Then, a belch and a half later—Jesus H. Christ—Steve voices, “If a horse wore pants, do you think they’d wear them on their back two legs or on all legs?” His words sleep riddled and husky, still syrupy from dreamland.

Eddie blinked. Blinked some more.

“What?” He finally got out, throat brittle from his cereal.

“Horses,” Steve says, “they’re wearing pants. How many legs are covered in jeans? The back two or all of them? Because I feel like it makes more sense for just the back two, but also”—he tsks—“they aren’t people. So…would a horse have its own way of wearing jeans separate from us? Or would they just go with it?”

“I…I don’t know? Why are they wearing jeans?”

Steve shrugged. “They just are.”

He set his bowl on the counter behind him, clinking it against a couple other dishes he has yet to put away from the dinner last night. Last night, when Steve brought up the idea that dogs would have their own accents based on the regions they grew up in. And he just sighs.

“So…horses are wearing jeans,” he thinks aloud, words slow, “and you need to know the orientation in which they’d wear them?”

“Yeah!” Steve exclaims, snapping the thumb and index finger on his right hand, “they’re wearing jeans! But how?”

“I mean, having jeans on all four legs would look weird,” Eddie gives as his two cents, “we don’t wear jeans on our arms.”

Steve hums, but it’s more of a, “See, but here’s the thing…” hum. “Jean jackets, though. We wear jean jackets. Jeans on our legs. Jean shirts. People have all kinds of ways of wearing jeans, so what about horses?”

“What about horses? Wouldn’t they just have their own trends, too? Like some would wear jeans on the back two legs and others do all the legs? I bet they’d wear jean saddles, too if they could figure out how to get them on by themselves!”

And…shit. This is exactly what Steve does to him every morning.

Voice some thought. The thought is random, doesn’t make much sense, could be waved off with a simple hand. But then Steve gets him all heated. To the point where he argues some weird defense.

Then, Steve looks at him after it all.

Some smug, satisfied grin on his face. The heathen!

“So would horses be like us, then? Just wear jeans however they felt like it?” Steve asks. Still smug. So smugly.

Eddie groans. “Is this some weird argument you’ve got going on with Dustin or something? Am I just backing your point—again?”

“Oh…I don’t know,” Steve drawls. “Maybe. But also…since you’re on my side”—he can’t help but groan at Steve again—“then that means Dustin loses the bet we had. Dude gets to sort out the tapes the next time he tags along for one of my shifts.”

He levels Steve with a look. One eyebrow raised. Eyes wide. “What’d he do?”

“Spilled Dr. Pepper on the floor of my car,” he answers simply, “he didn’t have the money to help pay for it to be cleaned and detailed. So. Next best thing? Punishment at Family Video. And also I get to rub it in his face that my point is correcter.”

“More correct.”

“Whatever,” Steve mumbles, a flippant hand in front of him. “You knew what I meant. I just get to be more correct for once and that’s gonna be freaking awesome sauce, dude.”

Eddie snorts. Mutters, “Awesome sauce.” Then, he picks up his bowl of cereal again, another dry spoonful on his tongue. Asks, “What if he gets the others to rally with him? How’re you gonna prove your point then?”

Steve goes completely quiet and still.

It’d be worrisome if he wasn’t screwing his face up every few seconds, working through other thoughts he’s got. What rambunctious things go on in his brain, Eddie doesn’t know—probably won’t ever know, but at least he knows Steve’s working on…something.

And at the last few crumbs being poured into his mouth, Steve has the audacity to follow through with, voice serious and low, “Monkeys are taking over the planet. You have to save one of two things. Your acoustic or the Garfield mug, which one are you picking?”

He shakes his head and sighs, turning towards the sink with his cereal bowl. But, after a few seconds of thought, he answers, “Probably the acoustic. A mug wouldn’t do me any good against monkeys, right?”

Behind him, Steve lets out a large victory whoop. The commotion of him moving through the trailer, into the kitchenette, sidling up right next to Eddie. He smacks a wet, noisy kiss to Eddie’s cheek. Whispers, “I knew it!” And then starts back towards the bedroom—Eddie can only assume to put on some more decent clothes than his pajamas.

Which is confirmed mere minutes later when Steve presents himself again, keys in hand, pumping his fist and pointing directly at Eddie in the living room. “That little shrimp has to clean the men’s restroom, too! Ha-ha!” he shouts.

Playfully, he rolls his eyes and smirks. “Go to work, you dork. Don’t wanna miss Dustin’s betrayed little face.”

Steve grins, teeth and all. “Oh, I know. It’s gonna be fucking great. That’s what he gets for spilling his sticky ass soda in my car.” He strides to the trailer’s door, begins to step out, but once he’s half-way through, he turns back to Eddie with, “I love you, Eds. I’ll keep my mouth shut about you answering my questions. Dustin won’t have a fucking clue.”

“Love you, too,” he says, “and don’t worry about throwing me under the bus. I’ll always be on your side…whether I realize it initially or not.”

Later, when Steve’s on his lunch break, Eddie will get a call—another hypothetical:

“If pigs could fly, would they use it for good or evil?”

He can’t help but wonder how he got stuck with the most lovable dork on the planet.

And how Dustin keeps getting roped into these goofy bets. Probably his tone, Eddie surmises, yeah…probably his tone.

🐴—————🐴

[perseyhandmaiden]

The first sip of tea is still a little nerve wracking.

If Geoffrey Landgraab can do it, so can I. No fear!

To have Annie earn Prankster Points Go to Page (97) To get some Prankster tips from Geoffrey Go to Page (98)

94

[wangxianficrecs]

Become Tomorrow by ShanaStoryteller

Become Tomorrow

by ShanaStoryteller

Not rated, 39k, Wangxian, Baoshan Sanren/Lan Yi

Summary: Wei Wuxian gets caught sneaking into Cloud Recesses. But since he can't tell the truth - that he's just here to deliver his teacher's most recent love letter to her soulmate who's stuck in a cave - he tells a lie instead. He says that he's a Jiang disciple that had arrived late and so had snuck in through the gates. He hadn't expected the lie to work, sure that it would unravel as soon as they found a Jiang to verify it, but instead Jiang Yanli backs up his story, and even adds to it. Which is how he ends up masquerading as the first disciple of Lotus Pier while trying to figure out how to get out of Cloud Recesses without anyone discovering that he's the disciple of Baoshan Sanren.

Mojo's comments: I am so charmed by this wwx… as is EVERYONE else who crosses his path. He spends his childhood running up and down Baoshan Sanren's mountain, getting into trouble, and expands his territory to include stumbling across Lan Yi, whereupon he takes it upon himself to begin carrying love letters back and forth between his two immortal 'Aunts'. Which is how he winds up getting busted by lwj and lying that he's the Jiang Sect's first disciple. Author loves the women of mdzs, and it's delightful to see how strong and clever they can be, from jiang yanli to wen qing to the immortals. POV is more or less everyone, and it's hilarious to see their interpretation of events based on how much they've figured out about all the things wwx is trying to hide. Wwx is bamf (he knows all the sects' sword forms which is so sexy of him: or at least lwj thinks so!) and powerful and determined to protect all his newfound families when the Wens come a'knocking.

non-yunmeng wei wuxian, canon divergence, cloud recesses study arc, baoshan sanren, pov wei wuxian, pov multiple, baoshan sanren/lan yi, bamf wei wuxian, sick jiang yanli, friendship, hijinks & shenanigans, humor, women being awesome, @shanastoryteller

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[cochineal-leviat]

"The Hero of Dreamland and the Patchlandian Prince maintain a steady and loving relationship. Kirby couldn't be happier, even if their grip on romance is not as conventional as the books like to describe. They adore their boyfriend and everything they do together. But Fluff has made a habit of wearing makeup. Kirby does not know why, and neither do they mind. Regardless if Fluff wears makeup or goes all-natural, he always looks handsome to Kirby. No, Kirby wonders about the gloss on Fluff's lips, drawing some conclusions they perhaps should have drawn sooner."

Heyo everyone! Here is the surprise second part of a Royal Visit's anniversary. I wanted to post this last week, but the artwork from last week took me out. So, please enjoy this special fic I made to celebrate how special a Royal Visit is to me.

This fic is a sequel, even if its characters use gijinkas designs - this is canon to the story of A Royal Visit.

It will update weekly except for next week, as I will be on holiday. This fic will upload until it is finished. So I hope everyone who likes Kirfluff and enjoyed a Royal Visit will enjoy this as much as I enjoy making it.

[pleasanttalepolice]

when did you feel that jonathan ohnn was going too far

original image btw

[cranberrybogmummy]

Chapters: 6/? Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Elias Bouchard | Jonah Magnus/Peter Lukas Characters: Elias Bouchard | Jonah Magnus, Peter Lukas, OCs, Mikaele Salesa, Tadeas Dahl, Simon Fairchild, Tom Haan, Annabelle Cane, Jude Perry, Arthur Nolan, Michael | The Distortion (The Magnus Archives) Additional Tags: Lonelyeyes Wedding planning and wedding fic, Humor, crackfic, Elias being a bastard, the poor wedding planner, LonelyEyes, groomzilla!Elias Bouchard, Canon Typical Violence, There are gonna be so many statements out of this, Birdezilla!Elias Bouchard, Canon Typical Horror Series: Part 4 of Elias and Peter hijinks Summary:

2013 was the last wedding of Elias Bouchard and Peter Lukas. It was an event, from start to finish and a major headache.

Chapter SIX IS UP!

[incredipuppy]

Guess what show I rewatched last week