#humans are sweaty

[jpitha]

"No. I will not go down there!" The small sapient crossed his upper arms and his fur fluffed out, indignant.

The captain turned and gave him a look. He was not used to flat insubordination. "Why? Someone has to tell engineers Will and Emery and Pam that Chief J'maz might have found a fix for the thermal runaway in the technical docs."

The sapient looked down and absentmindedly gave a gesture of submission. "...They creep me out."

The Captain's wing covers clacked in surprise. "What? The humans? They're fine. They're hard workers, they help out as soon as you ask, they almost never ask for anything in return. Other than their odd dietary habits and the fact that they want the gravity set so high, they're model crew."

"No sir, it's their... active cooling system."

"Active cooling system?" The captain's compound eyes always seemed to be looking at everyone, but everyone agreed that after a while you could tell where they were looking. Their stare bored into the furry officer.

"Haven't you seen them when it's hot? They don't pant, they don't go into torpor, their bodies start...shedding this liquid. It's mostly-" they shuddered "-water, and when it evaporates their bodies cool."

"Huh. No, I haven't seen that. They must have come from a real hot world."

"That's just it! Their world has as many biomes as any. That's just how they deal with excess heat. They can take a lot of heat too before it becomes a problem."

"I still don't see why they creep you out"

"They're so... wet when they're sweaty. They glisten" They shuddered again.

The captain sighed. "Fine. I'll send someone else to tell them. You go help repair the intercom."

One thing that I am 100% convinced would send an alien into cardiac arrest is sweating.

It sounds stupid but think about it: apart from horses, humans are the only species on earth that can sweat so it's not a far stretch to believe it would be incredibly rare in extraterrestrials as well.

Just imagine, one day the AC in the main engine room is broken and everyone starts panting like crazy because of the heat, but the human? Just keeps working like usual? It's not like they aren't affected by the heat at all, but they aren't breathing quite as hard as the rest and everyone thinks ahh yes, humans must have extreme durability to heat coming from that death planet. And then. The human starts melting?!?? And suddenly everyone is panicking because their human is leaking all sorts of important nutrients, metals and water out of every pore - are they dying? Surely this cannot be normal!

And the human has to explain that, no they are perfectly healthy and yes it is actually just the human body's way of cooling itself down and no they don't think it's "the coolest thing ever!!", wait till it starts to smell!

[tightsweatyclothes]

For fidgeting while she was supposed to be kneeling perfectly still at her indoors water bowl, she has a long afternoon playing "catch" in the hot sun ahead of her. She whimpers as her owner prepares to take her out on the short leash.

When she returns soaking in her own sweat, the bowl of fresh water tempts her, but she may only drink the collected bodily fluids from the rubber suits of the rest of the "household": their sweat, their urine, stinking from being in the waterproof suits for so long.

She watches from her outdoors cage as they enter the shade of her house, watches as they strip down, empty their suits of the stinky fluids, go to bathe, twitching with frustration in the sweltering sun, unable to open the unlocked cage door with her stumpy limbs.

After her usual intake of fluids, a new bowl of fresh water is left in the cage: she is to stare at it, immobile, until the evening, unable to drink a single drop, listening as they lounge around the house in light clothes, as they drink slowly from cans dripping with condensation. They sit around her cage, use it as a table for their snacks and refreshments, and she stays still, staring at the bowl of clear and cool water she without being able to taste even a single drop.

[satanslittlefucker]

Someone's probably already said this but—

Soap would be the type to make you lay on the floor and cage you in while he does pushups so he can steal a kiss each time he lowers himself. Bare chest glistening with a thin layer of sweat and his dog tags tapping against your chest. You giggling with every other kiss. Him shutting it up with the occasional (every three or so pushups max) tongue down your throat before pushing himself back up. Then he fucks you nasty and calls it his cardio.

[killl-ka]

Finished the thing I started last year. They are exploring the omega timeline :)

[stinkyboiii]

I had this fantasy for a while where two cute boys invite you to have a sleepover, you don't really know them that well but of course you agree. It starts off innocent and you don't realize what they're up to untill you're restrained to the bed, facing up. They pull a blanket over you and that's where their real sleepover starts. They both take off their pants, you feel their naked musky, sweaty butts pressing to your face as they begin to dutch-oven you. They're really chatty above the blanket, compliementing eachothers' farts, giggling and making out. They snack alot while watching movies and it just makes their farts so much worse, they either act like you're not there or tease you and play games, asking you if it smells nice or making you guess what they're eating at the moment based on their farts, saying that they'll let you go if you guess correctly (they won't).

By the time the night is over they managed to make some nice content with you as the main star and not to blackmail, but they'll see you next weekend, they have alot more stuff they wanna try on you~

[allforholly]

It’s okay to admit it…I’ve turned you into a total foot freak 🦶🏻 my milky soft soles fill your dreams, my dirty gym socks are the only smell that truly feels like home to you. You’re toe-tally obsessed and completely mindfucked for them!

[pilotprojectvogelfrei]

Valentine’s Day Shenanigans (late)

A/N: Mandatory dose of whatever these two idiots have. Bill does weird stuff and Ford just goes along with it as long as it’s not too illegal or inappropriate. I originally planned to post this on Valentine’s Day but got caught up. *Also I made yet another Bill design, as you can see in the bottom left corner. This one is a mix of everything I saw online so far, so I won’t be using it as much as the human design I had since October.

On a separate note: Vogelfrei chapter one part one is out on AO3 and right here on Tumblr! Check out the blog’s masterpost for links!

[m-22006]

Need too have my lips wrapped around a greasy hole , while I listen to someone groan and whimper about how bad their stomach hurts. 😩

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Veilguard Appreciation Week Day 5: Arlathan Forest

Emmrich is *not* having a good time in the forest today. Nope. Not at all. SFW.

Under different circumstances, Emmrich would enjoy watching Bellara and my beloved girl chatting about the “weirdest relics we've ever seen.” It’s frankly fascinating, but…

He swatted another gnat away from his face and then removed his handkerchief to wipe his brow.

It’s unbearably hot in Arlathan Forest today.

Hot.

Every insect is buzzing…

And it’s…

Hot.

“Oh my goodness, so this one time, I had to calm a relic that practically barfed nasty-smelling acid whenever a warm-blooded being approached it—”

“Bellara, I totally heard about that! Holy shit, that was you?!”

“Yes! And it was DISGUSTING! Like I mean, I came close to losing my breakfast, but I pulled through!”

“Fuck yeah!”

The professor discreetly I must emphasize coughed, and the two women stopped and faced him. “Ladies, while I’m thoroughly interested in this discussion, may I suggest we take a brief respite in the shade?”

Please.

I beg of you, Bellara.

Dearest, I am begging.

Both sets of eyes grew improbably wide, and then, at the same time, apologies began spilling out of them. Agnes, my sweetest and most precious angel, dragged me to the nearest broken stone wall and used her ice magic to cool me.

Oh, my love.

“I do apologize for interrupting…” He began as he took a sip from his canteen.

“Professor Emmrich, it’s okay! Agi…shit, I mean Rook…and I…ramble on sometimes.” I’m aware. “Just give a poke or something, and we’ll get back on track.”

Agnes nodded. “Yeah, love. Don’t be afraid to tell us to shut the fuck up!”

He turned up his nose at the suggestion and groused, “I would never!”

That made her laugh, and she wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pressing a kiss onto his cheek. “Of course not, love. You’ll do it in a classy way. The classiest way.” Another kiss! “Because you’re a classy man.”

Bellara grinned. “The classiest.”

And currently, the sweatiest.

I wonder if Agi would be amenable to an impromptu romantic bath when we return to the Lighthouse…

[inennui]

~Sick~ Dreamling Week 2023 hosted by @mr-sadman

[stinkyboiii]

I think a cute chubby gassy gamer boy i can serve however he sees fit would fix me rn.. >///<

[bubblegumbullshit]

Live blogging: Hannibal - S2 E10

Wtf?!?

[manglam-marfach]

dyke!Chilaios has me understanding breeding kink all of a sudden

[lavenderspence]

sincerely, me, to anyone who tries to joke about max's Silverstone 21 crash

That shit ain't funny, be a normal human being

[alphaori]

My gravity falls hot take after all these years is that I think the original creators of human Bill were right about him having twink energy. HOWEVER he is absolutely not a smooth well groomed impeccably dressed twink. He'd be a sweaty little freak with smudged eyeliner who dreams of being a reality show star and thinks he could be a model easily but will cuss you out as you walk down the street if you say he can't bum a cig off you (or the whole pack of sigs. no not this brand actually just gimme the whole wallet GIMME-)

[horsebark]

i <3 being stinky but society says ewwww yuck.