#huge letdown but at least i got to go inside

[your-neighbor-bear]

I am having a good birthday day btw if u even care

[violet-emi]

Albedos can rail me

Gonna be real with you all, this was supposed to be thighfucking I am so so sorry for anyone who actually wanted quality writing from me

Also sorry if this is a huge letdown if you liked the first one

MDNI, tldr at bottom

Albedo: part 2

You wake up held in Albedo’s arms. More precisely, a fake Albedo’s arms, but it’s so hard to believe that the one holding you is so loving and kind. The real one is tied up intricately and his eyes have a terrifying glare to them.

If looks could kill, his staring could bring all 7 nations to their knees when he saw the fake gently caress your face.

Your heart was so dearly conflicted, seeing an Albedo with nothing but hatred on his face, the real Albedo, and one that held you as if you were the most precious thing it could comprehend- a fake Albedo.

At least, you would be conflicted if you weren’t so preoccupied with the fake’s lap growing hard. You tried to get off on instinct, but it pulled you back on its lap, closer this time.

Your head got dizzy when it hooked its thumbs under your waistband and pulled down just enough to have the bare skin of your bottom on its crotch. It used his face, his body, to rub against you in such a sinful manner that nobody could blame you for being unable to hold your voice-

Albedo could only watch in horror as he watched something that looked like himself tantalizingly draw out sweet moans, one after the other.

“Enjoying the show?” It taunted.

“I don’t have anything to say to a failed experiment like you.” He snapped.

It obviously didn’t like that choice of words as it began shifting beneath you, lifting you up slightly. Albedo couldn’t see what he was doing, but when your eyes went wide and something poked from between your legs, his eyes went wide. He had pulled out his cock and had it throbbing between your thighs.

The fake was slowly sliding you up and down around his cock, letting you drip juices onto it until it was absolutely glistening. It was teasing you so badly as every moment it made, it simply slipped past your entrance to rub its length along your clit.

“If you don’t like it, I could always make it more interesting, by taking her virginity of course.” It chuckled. “She’s so wet already.”

“You fucking bastard, we both know that’s a biological reaction that’s normal for her.” Albedo snapped.

“Al-bedo~” was the only thing you could moan out as your thighs were squeezed together and fucked, never fast enough to truly let you have your release.

“Yes darling, I can be your Albedo.” It cooed.

“She’s talking about me.” Albedo was growing furious and wanted to snap his bindings, he needed to get up and stop that disgusting thing- or at least, deep down, he wanted to save you. He was simply infuriated due to his own incompetence and jealousy. To let you get stolen from under his nose by a fake, and he couldn’t even bring himself to tell you how he felt.

These feelings festered inside of him and activated his vision, small crystals threatening to jab at his bindings- but the fake took notice.

“Whoops.” It laughed.

It has sunk you onto its cock at that moment, giving you absolutely searing pleasure and pain at the stretch- sure, you were thoroughly soaked from the teasing before, but little stars accompanied your blurring vision at that moment.

“Guess she’s not a virgin anymore.” It smiled.

“You fucking bastard-“ Albedo was trying his best to snap his ropes, jagged geo crystals attempting to cut at the bindings. It was painfully slow as he had to watch more and more of his fake’s movements.

“Ah~ it’s so tight. Absolutely blazing hot, if I may add. I might melt with how warm you are down there~” It whispered. “I wonder how much more you’ll squeal for me if I move.”

It nipped at your ear and let its hands wander your body as you could barely breathe when it touched the small bulge upon your stomach- courtesy of a fake Albedo, of course.

The real Albedo, however was nearly through breaking free from his captivity.

“You’re going to hurt her if you do that, you know.” It warned. “Do you hear that? He’s going to hurt you.” It caressed your face. You thought that he meant that it would hurt you if the real Albedo tried to save you, but Albedo continued forming crystals regardless.

“Your lo-“ the fake was cut off by Albedo creating a massive geo explosion, letting everything in the area fall victim to his signature fatal blossoms, including you.

Sure, the fake was presumably destroyed, but his anger went overboard and he had hit you in the explosion, no matter how much he had subconsciously tried to dull down the explosion for you.

It hurt so much to finally be at the receiving end of his wrath, maybe you deserved this for loving him, even a fake version of him. You couldn’t help but be a hopeless romantic in such a painful moment as you apologized to an Albedo that might never hear.

“Sorry Albedo… I just want to love you.” You weakly whispered.

Albedo rushed to your side to comfort you, he regrets it, he really does, but his throat feels dry and he can’t find the words to express his feelings. He wanted to shut you up, to apologize a million times over for letting you get hurt like this, and to have you apologize to him at a time like this. He was neglectful of your love, the fact that you even attempted to help him here was a miracle of your own kindness.

He couldn’t help but cry. To have someone care for him was truly unreal, never once wavering in your devotion to him. To see your little heart start breaking- he didn’t deserve you. He didn’t deserve you in the slightest yet he still wanted to save you with all his might.

His stupid, stubborn pride, who wouldn’t blame him for being an absolute asshole this whole time? Was he even still allowed to like you?

He couldn’t dwell on his feelings any longer as he had to bring you to safety first, trying to keep you awake on the way.

“It’ll be okay, I’m taking you to the nearest place we can get medical help.”

“Be sure to stay awake at all costs.”

But your eyes felt heavy regardless, the injuries you sustained were feeling so numb that you couldn’t help but let your eyelids fall.

“No, no, please, keep your eyes open, I still have so much left to show you.” Albedo had to wipe his tears and lift your limp body princess style as he ran as fast as he could.

Tldr: fakebedo is abt to really fuck you but albedo won’t let that happen (he’s too late and causes collateral dmg)

Part 3 might happen where it’s sweet (how did this end up so sad)

[theblackthornkeyisawesome]

Hey, uh, so first of all, just wanted to say, I really appreciate that this blog exists!!! Like, wow, I didn’t know we even had the smallest remnant of a fandom for our Certified Disaster child!

Second of all, don’t read this if you haven’t finished Traitor’s Blade yet—but I’ve got a theory on who the Raven is. Or at least a gut feeling.

Alright, warnings out of the way:

I’m preeetty sure the Raven is Simon Chastellain.

First of all, since we’re coming up on the *last* book (I can’t believe it) I’m nearly 100 percent certain that the Raven has to be a character we’ve already met—it will kind of be a huge letdown if he isn’t. And Simon’s presence in the Traitor’s Blade is never accounted for in a narrative sense. He doesn’t serve any functional purpose, other than an added unnecessary victim. He just shows up, gets stabbed, and then gives the *false* information that the Raven is dead. He never gives Christopher any useful information or contributes to the story otherwise. Suspicious much? The only way his presence makes sense is IF he’s the Raven himself.

Second of all, the letters. Simon claims that the letters Christopher wrote never got to him, and later Christopher comes to the conclusion that the Raven must have intercepted them. However, the Raven being able seems a bit odd at best—UNLESS Christopher had been writing to the Raven himself the whole time. Not to mention, it’s the sort of twist this series likes to pull. (And gives Christopher another wonderful way to blame himself, ugh.)

Thirdly, there’s that weird scene where Christopher gives him a copy of The Odyssey. Simon quotes something that Master Benedict said to him, and looks “sad and a little bit angry.” Christopher writes this off as his anger about Marin’s death never being avenged, but it seems an odd connection to make—Simon would be more likely to be thinking about Benedict while quoting him. What if he’s thinking about something that he’s leaving out of the narrative about him and Benedict? Does he have some reason to bear a grudge against him?

Finally, I know that him getting stabbed seems to throw a wrench in this theory, but him arranging for this to happen actually makes perfect sense. For one thing, pretending that he never got Christopher’s letters gives him the perfect excuse to go to London and be in the prime position to orchestrate his grand scheme. And letting himself get stabbed in the doorway of Blackthorn, right when Christopher was there, seems too much of a coincidence not to be purposeful. All of the other murders (at least, were supposed to have) happened inside the palace, right? (I think. Could be wrong.) Why would the murderer break the pattern and wait until the exact moment he was most certain to have a witness? But Simon being stabbed in front of Christopher ensures that he would be cared for in the shop, which puts him in the absolute best place the Raven could be. He is in the perfect place to not only be on the receiving end of all Christopher’s thoughts and discoveries, but also to influence his ideas and actions without seeming suspicious in the slightest. And being gravely injured ensures that he is the last person Christopher would suspect of the murders. Not to mention, his presence in the last scene before Bridget—you know—seems a weird narrative choice if he’s not the Raven—not to mention he was the last one to see her.

Simon just lays in bed, recovering, while his plans come to fruition without a hitch. And Christopher has no idea.

(Also the book being flipping called “TRAITOR’S BLADE”???)

So so sorry for the long post, maybe this was already really obvious to everyone else, but I’M REALLY SCARED FOR THE NEXT BOOK

[planesofduality]

The Story Behind Solas with Dragon Age Lead Writer Patrick Weekes - Dialogue Wheel (Part 2 of 3)

Full video: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFx1nCdZFjw&t=1s

Part one here

Time: 12:16

When it comes the characterization of a character that you’ve already been give at least some sort of name to. We know that this character is some sort of trickster god - when you were trying to develop and make him some a stand-alone character, did you ever have to rely on what the mythos already established of this particular kind of eighth-seat god that maybe a lot people hadn’t heard a lot about?

Well, I think, like we talked about before, one of the great things about the Dragon Age universe is everything that you learn in a codex entry is something that someone else heard in a story and wrote it down somewhere and you’re reading half of the book. So the good news on that is anything we wanted to do with Fen’Harel, there was so little and what was in there was already so sketchy that we had all the freedom we needed to play with him.

That turned out to be a nice thing because I think if we had someone that was completely by-the-books, already established, their character already given, it would feel like more of a letdown to write that as a character or you would have to play against type, you’d have to do something completely different to show he wasn’t just what the stories wrote about him. And, you know, in some ways that is both liberating but also disappointing to people who might have liked  the original stories. This was a fun experience of getting to fill in some of the gaps.

The only thing I think we had to struggle against is that anyone who hears “trickster” or anyone who hears “oh, he’s chaotic and unpredictable” it feels like there is a natural urge to go to “He’s Loki in the Avengers. He’s the guy who’s gonna make large grand-standing plans.” Or, you know, “He’s the Riddler, who’s gonna leave clues to test you.” We had to get away from that: “Let’s tone that back a little bit, let’s not have him be the Jack Nicholson Joker version of the Dread Wolf.”

That’s quite a quote.

You got Dorian as a large, grandiose , extravagant figure and it would have been easy to have him go that way. It was fortunate that we had Dorian as the mage who had the larger-than-life persona already to make Solas be the quiet one.

Time: 15:21

Was there ever an instance where you were really pushed with giving some indicators to the player that Solas may have some connection to this going through the gameplay? Because you do see a lot statues of Fen’Harel. There’s many instances of where you’re discussing it, you’re traveling through those lands. Where do you walk that line, how do you walk that line, or do you just completely disregard it whatsoever?

The goal we had is we wanted the very careful players, the very sensitive players, who were playing attention and watching every scene with Solas to know that something was up and to want more answers and then go to “OH MAN” as soon as the stinger after the credits rolled. But we wanted most players to just go “Oh, okay, he’s like ‘Fade nerd.’ He’s like ‘hippie guy.’”

The other thing we wanted was everyone on their second playthrough, as soon as they talked to Solas to be like “Oh, man, he’s just saying it. He just flat-out said it right there and I missed it completely the first time!” I think we called it the “inevitable in retrospect”- or the “slap the forehead on the second playthrough” style of writing, where we wanted people to see that the most interesting thing about the trickster god is he’s not actually that great of a liar - He is almost telling you a lot of the time. And, you know, some of the tragedy is it that you never had the chance to actually ask, “Wait -are you Fen’harel?”

Time: 17:13

We talked about leaving breadcrumbs, what that meant. Now the big turn, the big scene at the ending:  How did this come about, were you really involved in that sort of process and are you happy with it?

Oh, I’m absolutely happy with it. It went through several iterations,. Mike was hugely involved. The writing was definitely done by Dave; it was a huge crit path moment. He had me give a look at the Solas voice, I think I looked at it, I don’t think I actually changed a single word in the final one.

We had versions where after the main plot it was actually going to be a full plot where you the player went and were actually present when Solas confronts Mythal. We had a part where we said, “Wow that’s too big, a lot of players are gonna miss that, we’ll make it a DLC.” So it was gonna be a separate DLC where that happened. At one point we said “No, this is too big, we actually - let’s cut it and address it next game.” So it was going to be this thing that we pushed off into some future content.

I am really happy with what we went with, because, I think, you know, for my money, that short, little Marvel-style, after-the-credits stinger is what we needed. We needed something so that everyone who was paying attention and everyone who was really invested could go “oh my god!” And go, “Okay, so, just in case you were wondering, we’re not done, we have more stories to tell, and we are confident enough in what we are doing that we are willing to throw that ball.” That stinger is essentially us throwing a football to future us, trusting that we are going to catch it. Because, you know, at the end, we had that level of confidence. We felt that we had that level of confidence, we felt we made a really good game. Dave led an amazing team of writers, and I’m really touched that he has the confidence to believe that I’ll be able to carry that on for him.

Time: 19:49

When we spoke to Dave, one of the big moments that he mentioned, was when he created kind of a long-term idea for what’s going to happen in the Dragon Age universe. And to hear him say it, he mentioned that what he originally wanted for Dragon Age: Inquisition couldn’t happen - it was far too big - it wouldn’t work. And you guys had talked about  taking that concept, finishing Inquisition somewhere in the middle of that concept arc, and then using at least an influence or something like that to affect the franchise going forward.  Speaking with you now, as someone who has taken up the reins, do you know what I’m talking about? Am I talking crazy? Where do you see it going?

Um…

Reasonably - of what you can say on this.

So here’s the last scene of the next game… (laughs). I think there’s an extent to which no plan really survives contact with the audience when it comes to video games. We look at how fans react, we look at what hit, what rang true with everyone. You know, it’s funny, having people react angrily actually isn’t as bad as having people ignore things sometimes. Having people react angrily  means they were definitely emotionally engaged, so you know you hit something there. Whereas having fans go, “I don’t know, fine, I guess, whatever” and move on means, “Okay, I don’t know if that’s what we want to go back to. We didn’t actually get anything from them there, they didn’t actually remember that later.” So that’s a phase that comes after every game we ship. We look at what hit, what missed, and where we want to go from there.

Now that said, Dave’s future plan is, I think, fantastic, epic, and heartbreaking. Our plan is to use that as our starting point. To look at where we want to go, what we want to do, and it will not be - and I, you know, Dave and I have talked about this - it will not be the story that Dave would tell if he were still here as lead writer. Because it could never be that. We can get into that when we talk about Cole a little bit, but if I tried to do that I would just be doing a bad impersonation of Dave Gaider and no one is ever going to be as good at that as Dave is. My goal going forward is to, as lead, put my own spin on that process, put my own spin on the plots going forward, on the thematic elements, while keeping those same thematic elements that we had. Because, I think, what Dave has set in motion in three games, countless DLCs and expansions, is something that can endure: The idea that no choice is ever really that easy and that the great events always stem from human-understandable motivations.

So, that is where I think where we are going to go, as vaguely as I can say.

Time: 23:30

Speaking of specifically to Solas: His continuation of the story. Adding that little “Marvel moment” at the end - what do you think that did for the crit path and the overall arc of the story that players experienced in Dragon Age: Inquisition. Do you think they would have been more satisfied if there was  a DLC or is that just us gamers complaining because we can’t get everything we want right away?

Well, I think you want to leave people wanting more. “Man I wish you guys had done more” is a better problem to have than “Man I wish you guys had done less.” So, I think, looking at it from inside the studio, we didn’t have the resources to do much more than we did. So it was never going to be the big moment right then anyway. From my perspective, the reason I’m really happy we have it is, like I said, I thought it was a vote of confidence. The team is still the Dragon Age team and it is still the writers and designers who did everything else, who made such wonderful characters and were responsible for such fantastic plots.

Time 25:10

Well, again, looking at that in its completion, it’s good to see that even a character that needed to give you a stinger in your estimation didn’t take away, I guess, from the overall story you were trying to tell.

Well, thank you. Yeah it was obviously the moment we were building toward, but again, the goal was even if we didn’t have that stringer, he was still an interesting enough character that people would have not felt cheated that he was in the party.

Part 3

[keelywolfe]

Drabble: The Code (baon)

Summary: Grocery shopping can be an unexpected adventure, as Edge is about to find out. 

Notes: This one is a little longer than the others, so I am posting it separately. 

Tags:  Spicyhoney, Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

~~*~~

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

When it came to grocery shopping, Edge usually did it on his own. Stretch did enjoy some shopping and still occasionally tagged along whenever Edge went to the Farmer’s Market, but when it came to a plain old grocery store, his attention waned quickly. Aisle of baking supplies and paper towels did not hold his interest and the cereal aisle was an exercise in patience as Edge calmly refused to buy a dozen boxes of sugary nightmares simply because Stretch wanted the toy surprise inside.

After his injury, he was forced to allow Stretch to take over the shopping duties and gave him a very carefully curated list, making sure not to include anything that would be too difficult to take on the bus. His love did an admirable job at following the list precisely and Edge made a point of ignoring the single box of frosted sugary disgustingness with its promise of a decoder ring inside.

It was still a relief to be able to return to at least a few of his normal tasks and once Edge was more or less back on his feet and able to drive again, he resumed his duty as the family grocer. But he didn’t protest when Stretch tagged along, made no comment on his fidgeting as they made their way slowly through the store and in turn, his love didn’t offer a single complaint at how long they were taking and did not pressure Edge to take one of the motorized carts at the front of the store, although he did give them a longing look as Edge determinedly walked past.

He managed to keep the trip to only an hour and there was only the beginning ghost of an ache in his leg as they made their way to the registers.

Edge stopped before the entered the line and let out a sigh, “I forgot to pick up tamarind paste.”

Before he could turn the cart back into the store, Stretch piped up, “i’ll get it, you wait here.” He was gone before Edge could protest or even suggest a brand name.

Ah, well, he could make do with whatever Stretch found.

He started to reach for his phone to check his email while he waited when a tug on the back of his shirt caught his attention. Edge craned his head around, absently assuming he’d somehow gotten hooked on a shelf. Instead, he found a Human child looking up at him with rounded eyes. He wasn’t particularly good at judging Human ages; at a guess, he’d say this child was no more than five or six.

“Can I help you?” Edge asked cautiously.

The child nodded slowly and lisped out, “Are you a ninja?”

“Am I…” Edge trailed off.

The child nodded earnestly. “ ‘cause you’re wearing all black and ninjas wear black!”

Edge looked down at himself, his t-shirt, gloves, trousers, shoes, even the brace on his leg were all in black. He’d chosen his clothing this morning for comfort more than anything. It seemed that going forward, he might consider adding a splash of color, lest he be mistaken for an assassin anywhere else.

“I see.” No wonder Stretch got along so well with children; they had a very similar thought process. Edge crouched down to the child’s level and told him, “I’m sorry, I’m not a ninja. I don’t believe there are any ninjas in Ebott.”

“Oh.” He sounded terribly disappointed, then, hopefully. “Are you a cyborg?”

“Timothy!” From a nearby aisle, a woman came sweeping up, likely the child’s mother, and her expression was one of utter horror. Edge stood and took a wary step back, but no angry words came, only an embarrassed blurt. “I am so sorry!” She looked down at her unrepentant child and scolded, “Timothy, that is very rude, we’ve talked about this! This gentleman is a Monster, remember the book we read?”

“It’s no trouble,” Edge said, bemused. The child, Timothy, seemed to be attempting to look repentant, and that was a familiar sight, one often seen on Stretch, Red, and Sans on any given day, as a solo act or a trio, depending on circumstances, with Jeff thrown in occasionally as added seasoning. But the mother’s mention of a book piqued his curiosity. “There’s a book about Monsters?”

“Yeah, ‘My Neighbor the Monster’!” Timothy said enthusiastically, then, with lingering hope. “You sure you’re not a cyborg? Cause you got a robot leg.”

“I’m very sure.” Edge said solemnly. “I’m only a Monster, nothing more.” It was on the tip of his tongue to apologize for being such a letdown as the boy deflated, sadly rejoining his mother in the checkout line.

And so when the child happened to glance back at him, Edge summoned a very small bone, glowing blue, letting it twirl briefly above his gloved hand before clenching his fingers and letting it vanish from sight. Timothy’s mouth dropped open, his already huge eyes going saucer wide. Edge held a single long finger to his mouth and the boy nodded, even as his mother jostled him forward to the register.

“hey, babe, i found it!” Stretch panted as he jogged back, holding up a tube that was twice the size that Edge would have purchased on his own. It seemed he’d have to research a few new recipes this week.

He led the way to the registers and began unloading their cart. “Do you mind if we make a stop at the bookstore on our way home?”

Nothing about that question should have made Stretch look so immediately suspicious, “you’re already pushing your limit on standing.”

“I’ll be sitting when I’m driving,” Edge told him reassuringly. “And I can sit while you look around.”

That suspicious look eased, but not entirely. “okay, sure. what brought this on?”

“There’s a book I need to find.” And an author, who might very well appreciate an endorsement from the Monster community along with a thank you of the monetary kind, if the book turned out to be one they approved of.

“uh huh. not going to tell me what?”

“A ninja never reveals his secrets,” Edge told him solemnly. He stepped forward to pay for the groceries, serenely ignoring his husband’s confusion. Stretch would hear the story soon enough and until then, he had a code to adhere to.

He suspected Timothy would approve.

-finis-

[themarissaharrison]

I Just Want Her | Discord

                                   DISCORD THREAD #002

Who?: Marissa Harrison, Nicola Slone @nicolaeisms​ When?: Marissa goes back to Cleo’s where she is staying with Cleo and Nicola after partying with Aaron in Manhatten. Where?: Cleo’s Penthouse Balcony

Mentions: @cmlopezofficial | Lauren (NPC) | Delilah (NPC) Triggers: death mentions, halluncination mentions, alcoholism, smoking

MAJOR PLOT DEVELOPMENT?: No, just MAJOR FEELS.

MARISSA

Marissa had no idea what the time was. The last time she’d checked it was midnight, and that seemed like ages ago. As she got out of the car, she didn’t even remember giving Cleo’s address to the driver so she was a bit surprised. Still, this was where she was supposed to come, wasn’t it? She took in a deep breath as she waited for the private pent elevator to come down. Her phone was dead, so she just kind of stared around and tried to sober herself up as she waited. The doors pinged open and Riss stepped inside, pressing the Pent button and then slipping her heels off so she could potentially slip in unnoticed. Maybe she could play off a late night in the office... The doors opened and Marissa used the key code to get in, trying hard not to knock into anything as she made her way through the darkness. Riss actually thought she could get away with it, then she felt the breeze of fresh air from the balcony and the smell of cigarette smoke. Fuck.

NICOLA

it's one of those nights again, nicola couldn’t shut her eyes to sleep as usual. she didn’t want to wake cleo or cordelia up if she forces herself to sleep. they’re surely witnessed a handful of times of her waking up in the dead of night screaming in pain, drenched in sweat. she wanted to at least spare both of them from that for at least one night.  she’s been standing by the balcony of cleo’s penthouse for at least an hour now, and she’s lost track of how many cigarettes she’s already had. marissa still hasn’t gone back, and she actually has slipped away from her bodyguard. honestly. she was just so exhausted; she doesn’t think she has the energy to confront her and asked where she’s been. she heard her door unlock, signaling that the brunette’s here, but she didn’t bother to move, to look back if it was really her. the older businesswoman lights up another cigarette and puts her attention at the city lights that can be seen from where she is. nicola’s just waiting for her to say something, to tell her a perfect excuse, a reason she slipped off her security detail. though is that enough to calm her nerves down?

MARISSA

Marissa thought for amount about ignoring it, about pretending like she didn't even see the back of the woman's head. But, even in this state she knew how much of a bad idea that was. She placed her heels down on the floor and let out a heavy sigh before rolling her eyes and then walking through the room and out onto the balcony. Honestly, she had no idea what the hell to say. With her eyes on the blonde now, there weren't really any excuses for why she was coming in so late, why she wasn't accompanied by Nic's security detail... She fucked up, and she was fucked up. They weren't two things that ever mixed well together. "Would you believe me if I said it was a late night at the office?" She said quietly as she came up beside Nicola, eyes following the others' gaze out over the city lights.

NICOLA

nicola takes a long drag of her cigarette, still not moving a muscle when she sensed the other walking up to her, finally breaking the silence between the two of them. she momentarily turns back to get the glass that was on the balcony table for a while now, drink’s almost forgotten. she needed anything to calm down her nerves, just anything. she doesn’t want to get mad, she isn’t even mad about this, yet she was feeling this tinge of disappointment, the letdown, it felt like a promise is broken, even though she didn’t hear it leave marissa’s lips, from what she could remember. “i’m going to try.” she says, convincing not just the brunette but also herself. “even though we both know that’s not the truth.”

MARISSA

Riss took a long breath in, shoulders dropping a little. She'd expected harsh words, shouting even, but this... Silent, quiet, disappointment... It was ten times worse than any shouting match ever could be. If she hadn't felt guilty before, she sure did now. Her eyes broke from the skyline to watch as Nic took a sip of her drink, then she looked back into the penthouse before looking back to the city. "I just..." She sniffed, brushing her finger under her nose which was really starting to burn now. "Needed to forget... Just for a little while," Riss sighed gently before glancing at Nic. "Aaron really needed a friend too, and... Nic, there's nowhere safer for me and him than Manhatten... Babe.." She steps in a little closer to the blonde.

NICOLA

does nicola want to talk about this? she’s too tired to know. not even the things she depends on to relax her nerves isn’t even working right now. she just stood there, with her back still facing marissa while she continues exploring the city with her eyes. she takes another long hit of her cigarette while the gallery owner spoke, letting the smoke stay in her system for a moment before exhaling. “it’s alright.” is she just convincing her, or she was convincing herself too? maybe she was being uptight with her and cleo, but knowing that man she encountered back in chicago is alive….ever since that night….she hasn’t had a proper sleep, she hasn’t stopped watching her own back, even when she thought he was dead. “i understand,” she refills her glass with white rum and downs it quickly, hoping the pain in her chest would just go away. “go get some rest,” she mutters, still not bothering to look at the other.

MARISSA

The coldness coming from the other woman cuts into her skin far more the sharp breeze of NYC at night. She says it’s alright, that she understands, but there’s no meaning behind those words. There’s nothing there... Marissa hasn’t seen this side of Nicola before. She hasn’t seen this closed, calculated woman. It... almost scares her. Riss almost wants her to shout, at least then she’d be able to feel something. At least then she’d be able to get a read in what was really happening beneath that stare... “Do you?” She said, feeling this overwhelming need to stay. At this point, Marissa knew she’d only lay down and stare at the ceiling. “Nic... Talk to me. Please... You want me to explain? I will. I just... Talk to me, baby... Don’t cut me off...”

NICOLA

she could shout, maybe give marissa a lecture for disregarding what she witnessed in the office and what happened back in chicago, when nicola literally dropped everything and just flew there to ensure her safety. she felt like the younger woman just ignored those things happening, like she's forgotten her pacing around the room in her penthouse in chicago, how she neglected the security she asked her to have. yet she didn't want to. she was about to pour herself another drink, but instead she grabs the bottle and drank a mouthful before putting it back down on the table. she didn't want to be this cold to the younger woman, but she felt so tired, tired of constant worrying and now feel ignored, with how it felt like she disregarded everything that happened for the past week on purpose. "you can do whatever you want, you can explain if you want. i'll listen."

MARISSA

Why had she even come here? In her drunken state, of all the places she could have turned up... She loved Nicola. There was nothing about that could be left to doubt. And, Marissa felt this connection with Cleo too... Something... There was something there. But— of all places she could have gone... She came back to the people she knew she’d pissed off the most. There’s was probably a part of her that wanted to be shouted at. To be reminded that she existed and was alive... She had felt so numb lately, so disattached. Then Nic ditched the glass and drank from the bottle and she knew she wasn’t okay. “Nicola...” She said in that voice she’s only used a few times. She knew that Nic was tired, she could see it in the way she was holding herself but fuck... Marissa couldn’t help it, the alcohol, the tension... She cupped the older blondes cheek, turning her head to look at her. “Speak to me...” She pleaded, thumb running across her cheek. “I’m sorry... Please— don’t shut down on me...”

NICOLA

nicola takes another hit from her cigarette. she swore to herself that she's going to make herself quit or at least lessen it, but she's just downright anxious about her whole situation. she's still been battling wanting to go back to chicago and finish the job she failed doing before, to not wait around and depend on the possibility of him not being able to survive. and then now this....what if he still had connections outside? of course he definitely would have, and he knew where his daughter is, it's not going to take long for him to find her too, after being the cause of his almost-death, a huge part of her feels he'd want payback. and with marissa neglecting her request and slipping away from her bodyguard's watch....she doesn't know how to feel about it. she shuts her eyes close when the younger cups her cheek before she could even take another sip of her drink. she's close to breaking down once again, in front of her this time, this could be twice in a row in a span of hours after cleo has seen her like that at the cove. she doesn't know if she could take more. "it's okay, i hope you had fun, at least," she says as another attempt to convince the both of them. "i'm okay. i just need something to relax before i sleep."

MARISSA

Marissa shakes her head lightly as Nic’s eyes close to her touch. These waves of guilt keep crashing into her obliterating any high she had from the coke left in her system, sobering her better than any medical drip ever could. “A little...” She answered quietly, feeling her heart drop more every second that she looked at Nicola’s damaged face. “You’re still thinking of going back, aren’t you?” Marissa sighed softly, taking the bottle from Nicolas hand gently and placing it back on the table before cupping both her cheeks. “It’s okay if you are...” Marissa tried to reassure. “I get it... I— am struggling to stay away from my demons too...” Riss admitted, swallowing a little as a tear rolled down her cheek without her even realising. “What I did isn’t okay... you don’t have to pretend like it is...” She added on before tucking a hair strand behind her ear. “I need you... I always have...”

NICOLA

"that's good to know." nicola takes a long, deep sigh at her question. the thought never left her mind, she still wanted go back there. she knew it was a decision everyone wouldn't want her to do, especially cleo and marissa. with the restaurateur's idea of going away for a while to montauk, she took it as a chance to clear her head, think about how things would go down if she decides, with a clear mind, to go back and finish what she started. this has been one of her loudest demons for the past couple of years. something she's been trying to avoid. i need you... i always have... instead of bringing her life, those words seemed to have done her the opposite, her heart weighing heavier instead. "with what you did tonight, riss? it doesn't feel like it." she softly takes her hand away from her cheek and looks away, finishing the rest of her cigarette. "it feels like--that night we shared back in chicago just slipped away from your mind. i just..." she finally glances back at her. "i'm just asking for one little thing, and it's for you both to be safe. it would've been okay if you just told me you'll go out, instead you...you just--fucking hell." she puts the cigarette butt in thr ashtray, and struggles to get herself a new one, only to find out that she's run out of them. "i must be really out of my mind."

MARISSA

Marissa watched as all the wheels spun around behind Nic's eyes. She didn't need to say anything for Riss to know that whatever was happening inside her head was loud and repetitive, demanding every bit of attention and disallowing her to switch off. Riss had wanted her to talk, wanted to hear what was going on but as soon as she got that wish... It just made that pain inside more alive. "I know... I know," she breathed out, heart breaking as Nicola took her hand off her cheek and turned away. Marissa swallowed thickly as she furrowed her brow and nodded a little. "It did, I'm not going to stand here and-- lie to you-- anymore... Everything has been... Slipping my mind, honestly?" She took a shaky breath as she tensed her jaw and allowed her eyes to scan the older blonde. "No, you're not... And here..." Riss sighed softly and walked over to the chair she had dropped her Chanel bag on, opening it and getting out a carton before coming back to Nic and handing it to her. The last thing Marissa could do right now was tell Nic not to smoke so much because it was bad for her health. Another deafening wave of silence fell between them as her eyes fell back to the city's skyline. "I'm-- seeing her again..." She admitted, voice breaking as she spoke. "At the bar... In the cove when I-- disappeared... I thought I saw her in the crowd, but it wasn't and I went to the restroom and, er-- she was there," Riss covered her mouth for a moment. "Just for a moment, it wasn't-- it wasn't very long... And again last night and I just..." She swallowed thickly. "I just needed to get-- away... From my own head..."

NICOLA

"if i'm going to stay safe as you needed me to, please ...i just need you to do the same thing for me." nicola isn't mad at the brunette at all. all that she's feeling is worry and disappointment. she remembers marissa slipping out of her thoughts that day while they were in cleo's office. "i may have gotten a sense that you weren't telling me something. and i just--" she lights up a cigarette and takes a drag, then exhales in relief before staring out in the horizon. "i chose not to bother you about it. i'm not.... i'm not angry, it's just....you really worried me, riss." she now moves closer to the younger woman. that now explains why she suddenly left them at the dive bar, that explains the look on marissa's face. she puts down her newly-lit cigarette in the ashtray and faces her, this time, it was her reaching for the other's cheek. for quite some time, there were instances when she's thought she's seen lauren in the crowd, but with the way how the other describe how she's seeing her....now....she can she why she needed to get away from her own head. "promise me one thing?," nicola sighs, and for the first time tonight, she looks into marissa's eyes. "promise me.... you'll tell me these things? i don't want you to keep it all on your own. you've been....you've been here for me ever since we got back in each other's lives and....i don't want to lose you this time. i was just...i was so worried," she takes a deep breath. "please....just don't lie to me about these things anymore."

MARISSA

Marissa nodded as she tried to keep it together. Saying all of that out loud... It made it real. It was easier to ignore something that had never been uttered aloud. It was easier to bury. Bury under alcohol, coke, friends, loud music... Now all those things were gone and she was stood on the balcony so high up in Brooklyn that it was almost silent, just the occasional sound of a distant horn from downtown. "I didn't want to worry you... I know you're-- I didn't want to put anything else on your shoulders," she replied softly, almost timidly. When Nicola asked her to promise about telling her these things, Marissa hesitated. Her mind so full of-- fear. God, more than anything else she was scared. Terrified of falling back into that... Fake reality. Into her... It wasn't until Nic looked into her eyes that she snapped out of that fear. She nodded, leaning into her hand, turning her head slightly and kissing the blonde's palm gently. "I'll try..." Riss breathed out as her own hand came up and wrapped around Nicola's. "I can't-- I can't go back... I can't go back there..." She cried almost silently. "I'm supposed to be better..."

NICOLA

"riss....," nicola wraps her arm around her waist this time. "you will never, ever burden me with what you're going through. and i....would worry less if we just open to each other more. that's all i'm asking for." she draws marissa close. "you've looked after me ever since we were back in each other's lives. i just want you to allow me to look after you the same as you and cleo are taking care of me right now." having the two younger women look after her, nicola at first felt like a burden herself, though with that something they shared back at the cove that night, both in the dive bar and the other blonde's office when the two held on to her, stopping her from falling in that deep black hole once more....she wants to do the same for them. "i'm here....alright? i'm here...," she whispers as she leads the both of them to one of the chairs. she sits down, drawing the other to her lap, running her hand along her back as she cried in her arms. she didn't want to ask more about what else happened that night, she didn't want to pressure the other into telling her what else happened. though....she wants her to know that she's not alone, not anymore. "we're going to montauk soon, and i want us to rest our minds for a while. i want us to take care of each other."

MARISSA

Marissa practically falls into Nicola when the blonde wraps her arms around her waist. She realised she had no idea just how badly she needed to be held until it happened. “I just... I want it to stop, and I thought it had... Its been months... and I feel like I’m slipping but I can’t go back, Nic—“ she mutters as she let’s Nicola draw her in on the chair, her face burying in her neck. “I just feel so alone all the time...”

NICOLA

"riss.....," nicola whispers, kissing the side of the brunette's head. it pains her to see this side of marissa, that all she could do is hold her close. "i'm here....we're here.....cleo and i....you're not alone, alright?" she cups her cheeks with both of her hands, looking deeply into her eyes. "you have us, you have me. i'm not going anywhere," she leaves soft, loving kisses on her forehead, her eyes, cheeks, the tip of her nose and then her lips. "you have me. you have us. we're going to montauk soon. we're going to hide away from everything else for a while. alright? i...." she sighs.  "you have us now."

MARISSA

Marissa's arm snakes up and around Nicola's shoulders, as if she were clinging onto her for dear life. In a way, she was, she was holding onto her to try and remind herself that she wasn't alone, that she was alive, that she was here and this was happening. I'm here... We're here... those words should have filled her with security, but instead they caused more tears to pave their way down her cheeks. She hadn't intended on telling anyone about what happened at the reception, hadn't intended on allowing it to become real. She wanted to pass it off as a bad dream... But alcohol loosens the tongue better than anything else. "I know..." Riss breathed out as she felt her fucking heart breaking all over again, as it did every time she thought she saw Delilah in the crowds. The pain fresh all over again. She had had two years of this, mending and breaking, a repetitive, vicious cycle. But, this one hurt more than any other because she was supposed to be better... She was supposed to be okay. This was supposed to be over... Would it ever be over. "I just want her..." Marissa muttered, not even realising it came out loud. "I'm sorry..." She said through staggered breaths. "I'm so sorry..."

NICOLA

there's never a day that nicola stopped missing lauren. never a day she stopped dreaming about her. her life was absolutely turned around by this woman and changed her life for the better, with her, she left her old, unlawful ways and straighten her whole life out. she started working on herself as their friendship progressed which eventually they've come together, and not so long after, got married. somehow....she knew how it felt like still wanting lauren above anything else, that if she could go back, if she had the ability, she'd be spending the same day on a loop with the woman she loved with all her heart and soul. for her to be taken away, it was like falling into this endless pit of unfortunate events in her life. somehow....she understood. they might be different in a way, but she knew, she fucking knew. "i know....," was all she could say, running her fingers through marissa's hair. "you don't have to be sorry.....it's okay. i got you, we got you, okay? we're going to get through this together." just stay in my arms.

MARISSA

Marissa’s body jerked a little as she cried, her face lost in Nicola’s neck and shoulder as she held on to the older blonde in a way she never has before. They has such similar pain, they both knew grief in its rawest state and even though theirs had their differences, they understood... Riss didn’t know how much she needed someone who understood until that night in the alleyway at Throuple... until now... She nodded gently, falling quiet now, knowing there was nothing more to say. She just wanted to feel close to the other, to be held, and she was... Riss didn’t stop crying quietly until she slipped into sleep, her grip on the blonde slackening as she entered her dreams... The only place it didn’t hurt to spend some time with her... With Delilah...

NICOLA

nicola cradled the brunette in her arms, hand running along her back as she slowly drifts off to sleep. she could slowly feel exhaustion finally getting to her. she stands up from her chair and carries marissa to the bedroom they share with cleo for now. she couldn't help but leave her little kisses on the side of her head as she walked them there. she instantly noticed that the restaurant owner is missing, she was there when the blonde left to the  balcony an hour or two ago. she lays the woman in her arms down and kisses her forehead before leaving the room to look for the other.

[venus-says]

Kamen Rider Ghost Movies and Specials

It's very amusing that I'm covering a horror movie here, but that isn't a part of the Ghost series.

It is time to (kinda) close the book on the Ghost season.

I gotta be honest, I wasn't looking forward to doing this, and I was both very disappointed and also very surprise. It was a fun journey, with a few questionable choices, but still fun nonetheless.

But before I get to the works that belong under this umbrella, we'll dive into something a bit different at first...

Kamen Rider: THE FIRST & Kamen Rider: THE NEXT

So, while looking at the list of Ghost's movies I saw that Kamen Rider 1 was on the list and that it was also technically part of the canon. I debated if I should watch it or not since, after all, my knowledge of the OG Kamen Rider is pretty much below basic and I was very afraid I would be missing in a lot of stuff. I was well aware I wouldn't be able to watch the actual show right now and I didn't want to read the wiki so I was about to give up on the idea when I looked at my notes and I saw that Kamen Rider THE FIRST and THE NEXT were a thing, and I thought this would fit in perfectly with the amount of time I have right now. I knew THE FIRST was a remake/adaptation of the original TV show and the manga and THE NEXT was its sequel so this would probably give me enough context to watch Kamen Rider 1.

And I wish I had done some more research before watching these movies because I feel like watching THE NEXT was a mistake.

Like, while I can't attest how truthful to the source material THE FIRST is, it was pretty much one of those compilation movies. The impression I had was that they choose the most crucial moments in a "The Best of" format and just glued that together and sold it as a movie. Which was not really a problem because it was pretty much a very solid movie, despite the cuts that leave a lot of gaps between each point. It lacked a lot of information, like how Hayato got to Shocker, and it kinda wasted time with the plotline of the kids from the hospital that didn't get a proper payoff, but it was still an entertaining movie. I love the action scenes, I'm not a specialist in this matter but it was really refreshing seeing a fight scene that was pretty much all done with practical stunts and very little CGI. This movie made me really curious to watch the original show, I know this is not exactly what I'll get whenever I watch it, but it left the "I want more" taste in my mouth.

THE NEXT on the other hand, while it was more of a "film" rather than a "compilation", it was also less of a Rider movie, they had riders on it, but it felt like they weren't the main focus. The feeling I had while watching it was that the producers either read the Helter Skelter manga, or watched Perfect Blue, or they saw one of those conspiracy theories of artists who don't seem to age that died and were replaced and wanted to make a horror movie that would deal in with the cruelty of the entertainment world, but they got denied and were put in to make the sequel of THE FIRST without wanting it, so they picked their original idea and shoved Kamen Rider into it as a secondary element that feels like it doesn't belong in that movie, and in the end, it fails at both. Admittedly, the horror portion was pretty good, I would be interested in watching it. It was the rider portion that was a letdown, it was pretty much just some random action, and while watching that girl fighting with a chainsaw was cool as hell there wasn't much background stuff to justify all of that and put some meaning on it. And there's also the terrible final scene with that awful CGI fire that was cringy as hell. If you want some advice, skip this one, it's not worth it.

Kamen Rider Ghost: Legendary! Riders' Souls!

Because I was left with the feeling that I got no useful information after watching THE NEXT, I decided to do something that I never do that is watch the web specials they release for each movie in the hopes that I would have enough context to watch Kamen Rider 1 without a problem. And well... I didn't expect them to be so pointless. Like, they have enough content to be its own TV movie and it's all just to explain how they got the Rider Eyecons, AND THAT'S IN THE MOVIE FOR LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!! And like, these form changes are so useless that if they had taken that out of the movie it wouldn't make a difference!!! I swear to god, why do they still think this kind of stuff is cool? UGH

I don't have much to say because this was pretty much just a boss rush, but I have to say this. PLEASE STOP BRINGING FINAL BOSSES BACK, they're final bosses for a reason goddammit, they're not cannon fodder! When you bring a final boss back anytime you have a chance it just loses the cool effect it could have. Please, Kamen Rider, stop, we get it, you love your own franchise, you don't need to keep doing this circle jerk all the time when you wanna do something cool that serves as an homage to your own history.

Kamen Rider 1

Complains aside, finally the actual first Ghost movie, in the Ghost Movies and Specials post.

And this was a great movie, probably my favorite thing that came out of Ghost. This movie is exciting, it has things for both old and new fans, the plot is pretty decent, the action is a lot of fun, and the emotional beats work very well. I felt in love with Takeshi after this movie, he's such a cool guy, and I really like the actor, it was always a joy seeing him on the screen, his whole thing with Mayu was great, it was very endearing, and when Takeshi dies I really felt it, and the only reason why I'm okay with them bringing him back is that I like him so much and I didn't want to see him die. If THE FIRST made me want to watch the original series, seeing Takeshi in this movie made me want that even more.

I expected the Ghost cast to be the low point of this movie, and while my biggest complaint is about a thing related to the Ghost lore, I overall liked seeing Takeru tag along with Takeshi. To the surprise of a total of 0 people, Makoto was useless again, but honestly, his participation in this movie is so minor it doesn't even bother me. I also like that the villains of the movie were Shocker and Nova Shocker and not that white-suit guy from the specials. Having both Shockers there fighting not only the riders but also each other earned a lot of points with me, I particularly love how Nova Shocker decided to do their thing by embracing capitalism and becoming a corporation because corporative people are the scariest and I love when they make villains based on that.

But I think what I like the most of this movie is that brings up to discussion a theme that I always thought the show should've tackled on TV that is the importance of life, and all that Love&Peace talk about how we're all connected, and that we're connected to nature, that is connected to the world, and yadda yadda yadda. Yes, it's a pretty old speech and everything, but it's one of the subjects that match the most with what I believe is the premise of this show, and while I love that this is a part of this movie, it's pretty sad that none of this bleeds out to the TV show.

And talking about things that are pretty sad, the element I liked the least was the thing that Mayu had a very powerful Eyecon that has been dormant inside her. I understand this is a Ghost movie and they wanna use their gimmick, but they could've used Takeru's gimmick of going full ghost mode and start fo follow Mayu while invisible instead of making the final villain just another MOTW. I honestly think the conflict between Shocker and Nova Shocker was enough to make everything they wanted to do, on the scale they envisioned, without having to add anything related to the villains of this season.

Regardless of the complaints, this is worth watching, for sure, and I wish I hadn't wasted my time with THE NEXT and the specials because I wish I could've met this movie way sooner. XD

Ghost: The 100 Eyecons and Ghost's Fateful Moment

This movie... was a choice. I feel like I have nothing to say about this movie, it was empty, it was pretty much a copy of the Wizard and the OOO's movies merged together, there were a lot of depiction of historical figures that would probably leave some people turning on their graves, they tried to make not just one but TWO familiar dramas and both of them failed in being interesting or having a good pay off at the end, and if all of that wasn't bad enough, guess what? Takeru died again! And was "revived" once more! Yay! I swear, this movie is so frustrating, I just wanna forget it exists.

Well... at least the new Napoleon and Darwin forms looked good I guess.

The Legend of Hero Alain

Now, what wasn't a frustration was Alain's special series! I absolutely love being able to see different points of view of the same story, and being able to see that from the perspective of who became my favorite among the riders of this season was a true delight. I do think episode 4 was a bit useless and if they wanted to make an epilogue they could've done something better, but the other 3 episodes are pretty good.

In particular episodes 2 and 3, that are from the time around his redemption arc, were very touching and a huge part of that is obviously from the presence of the best character of this show, the #1 takoyaki lady, Fumi-san, who once again was here giving her wisdom and passing down some of the messages the TV show tried to pass but that it failed completely. And even though I knew they would eventually hit a point where they would talk about her death, I was still hit by the feels like if they were a truck and I cried.

If I have to say two things that I don't like about these specials it would be that "Human Life Course" Takeru, Akari, and Onari had in episode 3, that was just ridiculous. And I'm not the biggest fan of having this thing of Alain and Fumi having a story that goes way back than what we saw in the show. But honestly, even with these problems, this is one of my favorite media that came out of Ghost.

Kamen Rider Ghost RE:BIRTH: Kamen Rider Specter

Last, and deservedly the least, is Specter's movie. And talk about a bad movie,

You would think that at least on his own movie Makoto would be important, play a big role, but even though he defeated the big bad in the end, he actually did nothing that couldn't have been done for another character. Heck, if you think about it, the real hero at the end of the day was Onari because it was sneaking around and stealing that gem that solved the main problem about clearing the sky atmosphere in the end. All Makoto did here was take a dumb decision after the other and is dreadful to watch.

I think the biggest problem of this movie is that it depends on us believing in feelings developed between two characters that know each other for less than three days and one of those characters is framed by the movie SINCE THE BEGINNING as a maniac villain. And our pay off of this is to believe Makoto forgive the guy who was conducting crazy experiments and that threatened to kill his beloved sister because he considered her a failure. Thanks, I hate it!

Oh yeah and we had power-ups for Necrom and Specter that came out of nowhere and we just have to buy it. At least Spector's new form looks pretty cool, despite me not buying the "sin" motif, I would like to have an opinion on Necrom's form, but it happened on a shitty rain scene and I couldn't distinguish any memorable feature while watching it.

All in all, this movie was another disappointment.

Well, that's it for Ghost. I wish I could have something good to say to sendoff this series, but I honestly don't so I'll just wrap-up here after all this post is already long enough. What are your thoughts on these? Have you watched any of them recently? Let me know in the comments down below. Stay healthy, stay safe, never stop resisting, thank you so much for reading, and until the next time. Bye~

[literarytrashcollection]

Where Are Any of Us Going? (Part2/?): A Friend or Two

(Bucky x Reader) Follow for more! I’m just starting out, but I plan to post much, much more!

After school the next day, I raced home and immediately got showered and changed. Classes ended at four. Home by half past meant I still had an hour and a half to get across town and to the café. I was eager to see Bucky again, but I didn’t want to seem like a thirsty little fan girl, so I kept it plain.

I made myself seem relaxed by not showing up until 6:15. That was early, but not unreasonably so.

Bucky was already there though, waiting in line in jeans and a Brooklyn hoodie, hair loose under the ball cap he was wearing, his sunglasses resting on the brim of his hat. He almost looked forcefully casual. He was trying too hard.

I spent a fraction of a second fighting internally with myself over whether I should join him in line or just go to the back when he saw me, a smile spreading across his face that made my insides squirm with unnecessary giddiness.

“Y/N! Glad I’m not the only early one.” He waved me over. I shot apologetic glances to the people behind him in line as I joined him, standing uncomfortably close to Bucky as customers and waitstaff alike pushed past us with drinks and food. “I’m glad you made it, I hope you don’t mind, one of my buddies wanted to come too. He ‘doesn’t think it’s safe, me wandering around Greater New York,’” his voice changed and I immediately recognized the impression of Captain America from all of the silly safety videos that had been passed around the schools.

“You did not invite him,” I looked at him with wide eyes. “Not Cap—” he cut me off with his flesh hand pressed over my mouth.

“I didn’t invite him. He invited himself and he’s already picked a table.” He sighed. “Trust me, I would rather come myself. I can be inconspicuous. Everyone knows who he is.” We stepped forward and he started telling the server his order. I was content to wait my turn while they made his order, but as soon as he was done, he just stared at me. “Are you going to get anything?” He finally asked.

“Oh, I can p—”

“That’s not how this works, doll. I’m buying.” Bucky tucked his hands in his pockets and waited patiently while I ordered the cheapest caramel latte I could find on the menu and a cheese Danish. Bucky handed the man a twenty and took our order before the server could even offer him the change.

Walking behind Bucky was how I imagined walking behind Moses was like. Seemingly everyone and everything moved out of his way as we navigated to the table that Captain America (!!!) had chosen, a nice corner table, with his back to the wall of the café so he had full availability to survey the area and people around him.

When we approached, Captain Rogers stood up, smiling politely at me until I sat down. Then the boys both sat as well.

“Steve, Y/N. Y/N, Steve.” Bucky said awkwardly as he sat between Captain America and I.

“Pleasure to meet you, ma’am,” Captain America touched the brim of his ball cap to tip it just slightly.

I wasn’t a geeky little fan girl for Bucky, but Captain America was a whole different story. Of course, I knew everything about Bucky as a side note from reading so much about Captain America. I thought about the Captain America pajama set I had, immediately felt my face go hot. I smiled politely at him before looking down at my latte to hide my shame.

We all sat in silence for a few minutes, eating our food and drinking our coffees before Captain Rogers finally broke the silence. “I’m not a chaperone or anything, you two can talk in front of me. It’s not the forties.”

“You’re kind of a third wheel, Steve,” Bucky sighed.

At the same time, I blurted. “I’ll be honest, I’m a huge fan and I’m trying really hard to be polite and not like… be a creep or anything.”

Bucky grinned down at his coffee, shaking his head a little. Captain Rogers’ face grew red and he stammered for a while before taking a drink from his mug to stall. “I told you, Steve. Everyone knows you.” Bucky flicked a glance my way and I suddenly became very conscious of my fingers gripping the edge of the metal patio table. When I released, the impression of my fingers stayed and I whined a little.

“You didn’t tell me she had powers!” Captain Rogers hissed at Bucky.

“She doesn’t have powers.”

Captain Rogers eyes went wide as they flicked between me, the table, and Bucky. “Really, Buck?”

“Really, Steve,” Bucky deadpanned. “She’s got prosthetics in her arms and ribs. They’re just tuned a little higher, like mine.”

Captain Rogers relaxed a little. “But nothing else?”

“Ask her, man. I came to get to know her. You’re the one who tagged along because you didn’t think it was safe.” Bucky grunted and looked over at me. “I’m sorry about him. This used to be the other way around, and then he became some crazy science experiment and roll reversal happened,” he shrugged. I nodded understandingly, like this was new information to me. I knew all about Captain Rogers and the experiments he’d been through.

“Fuck you,” Captain Rogers was smiling though, until his watch chimed “Language!” in Tony Stark’s voice. That’s when his face fell and he took the watch off, muttering about living something down.

“Hey, c’mon. There’s a lady here,” Bucky waved at me, which only earned him another hard look from Captain America.

“Captain Rogers, can I ask you a question?” I piped up nervously. Bucky snorted and Captain America smiled up at the sky, like he was laughing at a joke that they had shared telepathically.

“Only if you agree to call me Steve.”

I nodded. “Why did you do all of those dumb health videos for the schools?”

Bucky started outright laughing. “Health videos?” He cackled. “Steve, tell me they paid you huge to do it. Tell me they had a gun to your head.”

Steve sighed heavily. “At the time, I thought I was doing something cool. Maybe kids would actually pay attention if this stuff came from a someone they thought was a hero. Teen pregnancy still happens though, so I guess it didn’t get too far through these kids’ heads.”

Bucky was staring at him in hilarious awe. “You did a sex education video, Steve?” He was cackling again, a sound that, had it not been at my hero’s expense, would’ve made me feel all warm and tingly inside again, just like those damn dimples. Hell, who am I kidding? It made me feel all warm inside, even though it was at Captain America’s expense. I liked the sound of his laughter. “Y/N, I will pay you to get those videos for me.”

“Okay, that’s it. I’m leaving. You get into trouble, it’s your own fault. Just take care of Y/N. She’s too polite for her own good and there aren’t enough people in the world like that anymore.” Steve got up and tipped his hat to me again, then ducked out.

Bucky waited until Steve was out of earshot before he relaxed into his chair. “I haven’t laughed like that in a while.”

“Well, now I’m embarrassed.” I told him, giving my coffee the wide eyed stare I wanted to level him with.

“Oh, don’t be, doll. Meeting your idols is weird. I met Howard Stark once, and let me tell you, that was a letdown.” He sighed. “Besides, your face turned the cutest shade of humiliation and I can’t get enough of it. Do more embarrassing things.” He grinned.

I shook my head, taking a drink of my coffee so I didn’t have to respond. “Well, at least we chased him off.”

He turned his seat to face me a little more and leaned back in it, eyes scanning the passing crowd before returning to me. “It would appear so. Couldn’t wait to get me alone, huh?”

Where was this cockiness the day before? He was all shy and adorable then. Now he was so… confident. And happy. And damn hot. “You’re incorrigible.”

“Well, if it means I have a shot at you, doll,” he shrugged and glanced at me for a minute. Now, I knew he’d been flirting with me, but this was outright saying it and I wasn’t sure that I was ready for that. Maybe I could just play hard to get?

You’ll look like an idiot, my inner demons yelled at me. Screw them, I could enjoy this, at the very least. I was sympathetic to his situation and he was good company.

Instead of melting there on the spot, like I desperately wanted to, I leaned in close. “I think I have a better shot at the waitress than you have at me.” I winked at him and stole a French fry off his plate. He looked mystified for a moment. Had I really rejected him? I could see him trying to process what I said, the cogs in his brain grinding. Then a grin broke out across his face again and he leaned back in his chair.

“If that’s how you wanna play it, doll, we can do that. I’ve got all the time in the world.”

I downed the last drink of my coffee. “Well, we can’t all be super soldiers.”

“I don’t know, Stark seems like he’s certainly trying to replicate his father’s work. I don’t think he’d test it on people, but who knows.” He shrugged. “Besides, you have your fancy robot arms too, you’ve got the strength, just not the stamina I’ve got.”

I snorted. “Better recruit me, my left hand freezes up every other day. I can be a comedic relief sidekick.”

Just then the waitress came over with a replacement latte for me, with a smile and a napkin that she set it on as she left with more hustle in her step than usual. It wasn’t until I looked down that I realized that she’d embraced the cliché and left her number on the napkin for me. I held it up for Bucky to see. “Told you so.”

He looked disappointed though, looking at that napkin like it had just put a wall up between us. “Are you… Is she…?”

“I’m into girls too, if that’s what you’re asking,” I took a drink of my new coffee. “But it would still be rude for me to call her when I’m obviously having such a nice time with you.”

His face flushed a little and he looked down at his plate. “Does your arm really freeze up sometimes?” I nodded and straightened my fingers out. I knew where the point was that it stretched at froze. Once my fingers were stuck, I showed him my hand, letting him try to move my fingers back into place. When he couldn’t do it, I slapped my wrist a couple times until the mechanics reset and my fingers released. “Well, let me introduce you to someone. I’m sure he can fix it.”

“Another of your buddies?” I asked.

He smiled a little. “Yeah, another one of my buddies. He likes doing this stuff though. It all fascinates him.”

So we finished our food and coffee and left. He offered me his arm as we walked down the street and I hesitantly linked mine through it.

While we walked, he told me about how New York used to be, the buildings and the people, all of it different than what he came home to after Steve got him out of HYDRA. He told me about how freaked out Steve was when he woke up. At least Bucky had Steve, Steve had no one.

I had an inkling of where he was taking me when we left the café, but once we reached the front doors of the Avenger’s tower, I was still awe struck. I’d walked past it a million times, but this was different.

He scanned his ID badge and the door opened. He guided me in, his free hand on mine on his bicep for a minute, to ease my nerves, maybe.

First he took me on the grand tour, showing me all the training rooms, entertainment centers, kitchen, the works. He ended the tour in Tony Stark’s lab, the man himself tinkering with on of his Iron Man suits. Before we opened the door, I dug my feet in, pulling Bucky to a stop.

“Listen, Bucky, this is a lot.” I knew Mr. Stark could see us, I’d seen his eyes flicker up for a moment before he returned to his work. Bucky just shrugged.

“Him and I have had our… differences. But he’ll think your arms are cool and if he can fix my arm when I literally tried to kill him, I think he can fix you for shits and giggles.” He reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear, fingers lingering at the corner of my jaw for a moment before he dropped them. “Seriously, it’ll take twenty minutes tops.”

“Am I going to end up meeting all of the Super Friends?”

“Depends on how far we go,” he shrugged and punched his passcode in. The door slid open and we were blasted with AC/DC playing loudly over the speakers. Tony signaled JARVIS to turn it down and suddenly it was dead silent.

“Tin Man, young friend, how can I help?” Tony asked. He was a lot shorter in person. I’d seen him on TV often enough, but here, he was down right miniature compared to Bucky.

“Stark, this is Y/N, she’s got a little problem with her hands getting stuck in place.”

“Sounds like a medical problem to me,” Tony glanced me over, eyes scrutinizing every detail. “Why not go see Banner or,” he pondered it a moment, “the ER?”

“I have bionic arms.” I told him at Bucky’s prompting. He pushed me further into the lab by the small of my back, cool metal fingers gentle on my overly warm skin. “They’re a couple years old, but I can always unstick my fingers when they freeze up.”

“Show him, like you showed me.” Bucky said gently.

So I did it again, listening to all of us breathe and the phantom grinding of the mechanics in my hand as it strained to move. Then I slapped my wrist again and my fingers slackened.

Tony frowned for a moment then called on JARVIS, asking him for scans of all kinds as a robot came and took his Iron Man suit to it’s proper place. “You’ve had these how long?”

“I don’t know, three or four years?”

He nodded as a 3D scan of my body appeared over his work bench. He turned the scan this way and that, eyebrows furrowing further. “Are you aware that your entire skeleton has been either coated or replaced with the same material your bionic limbs are made out of?”

Record scratch. “What?”

“All of your bones, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes, all metal.”

I shook my head. “They told me it was just my arms and my ribs.”

“Well,” he clicked his tongue. “They lied.”

Bucky’s brows were pulled together too. “How would they be able to do that without her knowing? Wouldn’t there be scars all over her from them cutting in to access her bones?”

“Unless they found a way to inject it into her system and program it to somehow know to replace her bones.”

“Or coat,” I added.

He shook his head. “JARVIS is still scanning, but your bone composition looks metal too, Wolverina.”

I stared at the body scan. I was at a loss for words.

“Where did you get the procedure done?” Mr. Stark asked.

I shrugged. “Spain. Dad was military, he was stationed there.”

I’d kind of forgotten about Bucky, until he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me against his side. I hadn’t realized I needed the contact until it happened, but as soon as I was in, I wrapped my arms around him too. I didn’t want to think about what they were telling me.

“Y/N, are you going to be okay?” Bucky asked, rubbing my back as I tucked myself into him. I wasn’t going to be okay. Was this some freak mistake, something that happened as an unknown side effect of what they did to me? Or was this intentional?

“I would like to take some blood samples, if that’s okay?” Mr. Stark said, coming around with a syringe ready, whether I wanted it or not.

I stuck my arm out, if anyone could tell me what was wrong, it was Mr. Stark, right? He tied a rubber strap around my upper arm and lined the needle up with a vein, but as he tried to push in, the needle literally crumpled. He frowned again, for a fraction of a second.

“Well, I think you’ll be staying with us for a while, if you’d like. Maybe we’ll even get Banner in on this.” Mr. Stark decided. “Has it always been this hard to break skin?”

When was the last time I cut myself? I couldn’t remember. But something told me I knew how to get under my skin.

I pressed my thumbnail into my arm, biting my lip as I went until blood pooled up under my nail. “Does that help?”

Mr. Stark quickly got another syringe and sucked up as much blood as he could before the bleeding tapered off. “That’ll do for now. Go get her settled in a room.” He nodded to Bucky.

Bucky looked down at me, still cowering under his arm. “Do you want to stay?”

I looked down at myself, then at Mr. Stark. “If he can fix me, yeah.”

“The hand, no problem. But I’d like to see what’s going on with your bones.” Mr. Stark nodded.

“Then I guess I’m staying.”

Bucky looked absolutely thrilled for about half a second before he reigned it in. “Let’s go get your things, then.”

[starsweepersold]

                MY HTTYD 3 THOUGHTS

please keep in mind i didn’t love the film so don’t come here if you want a fluffy, in depth analysis of the good points.  and also note that these are my opinions ( on a movie which means this isn’t a big deal ) so, like... if you don’t agree, that’s fine lol.  i’m not here to draw fists, i just want to explain my side so that how i approach threads with ruffnut post the movie might make sense ( even though this rant is far from ruffnut centric ).

also.  uh.  this is long.  like.  really long.

first, let me clear up two things.  one, the plot, while my BIGGEST issue, isn’t really a bad plot overall.  it’s just... not what i think the third should have been and, ultimately, was a huge letdown for the franchise.  so i’m not surprised people like it and enjoy it.  it’s not... a terrible plot, it just.  in my mind.  ruined so much potential.  and could have been handled way better. a few changes, and i think it could have been what i wanted.  but how they approached it was just.  nah.

two, i’m going to probably address the light fury in a way that makes it seem like i hate her.  i don’t.  in fact, i liked her more than i anticipated.  character wise.  i was worried she would be rude, bitchy female who refused to even acknowledge toothless because h00man friends and found him dumb and uninteresting until he majestically saved her and they fly to the moon in loving happiness.  but she wasn’t.  she was balanced with her caution of humans while also seeing that the ones with toothless weren’t a danger so she didn’t completely and utterly avoid them.  she was interested in toothless and not just the other way around.  plus, she was just kind of cute.  so i have nothing against her as a character.  i have every problem with her as a major aspect of the plot which i do not think she should have been.  aka i think crappy writing did her wrong.  so if it seems like i ever hate or am throwing shade at the light fury, that’s not true, it’s how she’s being treated or used.  which isn’t her fault.

okay with those out of the way, one last thing.  super brief.  the animation and music was ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY LUSH.  no issues with that.  smooth, gorgeous, stunning, next to lifelike.  the imagination of the movie was a+++ so despite my other issues, i have no complaints on that.  stunning.  i would watch a thousands times over just to look at all those details tbh.

to le rant... dissertation... thing.

the hard part is figuring out how to start this.  because there are a couple... many... problem areas i just have with the movie.  so i’mma just go and hopefully i’ll get some formulaic or at least coherent explanation down.

i think my biggest disappointment was just.  the complete and utter disregard for the friendship between toothless and hiccup for sake of pretty, dragon lady ( here’s where i’m saying i’ll sound like i hate the light fury.  i don’t.  but i’ll call her being used poorly as “pretty, dragon lady” a lot because that’s essentially her entire plot use sadly ).  i get what dreamworks was trying to do, but shit did it fall flat.  did it just crumble.  it was painful for me to watch because it felt like toothless just fucking did a 180 and everything he had with hiccup was completely sidelined until the goodbye where we finally get some semblance of emotion from him about the idea that he’s leaving hiccup.

it was like watching hiccup being a foster parent and knowing he’s about to send toothless to his forever home and toothless being the happy, slobbery puppy who is just happy to be there and will love whoever he’s with.  literally like.  hiccup lets toothless go to find light fury and is like “bring her back :D” and toothless just had no plans of coming back from what we can see in his behaviors.  which is where i see what dreamworks was trying to do.  they were trying to do hiccup and toothless parallel growing up and finding their places in the world and toothless’ was to go lead the dragons while hiccup’s was to remain with berk as chief.  except for while toothless was like “yep, cool, i’m good,” hiccup was the one still thinking and worried about him ( as a decent friend would ).

they tried to explain this by using hiccup’s insecurity.  that he’s nothing without toothless, right?  and then they just.  never instill confidence in him.  even to the end he relied on toothless or the light fury.  like.  at some point they just sort of pretend like hiccup found himself, but there was really no turning point.  sure, he learns he needs to let toothless go but.

he never... finds his confidence in being a leader without toothless.  and then their friendship for the sake of all this is just.  reduced to him riding out on a boat to see the dragon and pretty, dragon lady one day when he has small children.  we had two amazing movies with these two growing together and as one and learning and developing and then in this one.  toothless just.  goes on and hiccup faces a thousand and one problems and only solves like one ( again... i understand they were growing up and moving on and it’s a story about that and how friends can last forever despite that but it just felt like they erased the deep friendship to have one move on quickly and the other just be trapped in insecure land and never give him a way out ).  it was such a “we just want to get a tear jerker” ending by that goodbye scene.  gotta make the dragons leave, gotta separate the two except the two felt on opposite ends of the spectrum the entire movie.  like the only time toothless and hiccup really felt still connected like they were in the first two movies/the beginning of the third before pretty, dragon lady was when toothless would look to hiccup while he needed help trying to do mating dances.  and even then it was more just, like... “help me win pretty, dragon lady because she’s more important!!!”

which i get it, love is love and wonderful and great but.  you didn’t... have to toss hiccup in the pit for this, you just didn’t.  and they stopped being friends but “hiccup doesn’t know how to lead without toothless” and... uh.  well.  toothless was moved on, “peace out, bro, i got pretty lady <333″

their friendship was just so incredibly special to me.  so so so so special.  it was what made me fall so in love with the first.  and hiccup breaking through drago’s control to toothless was so touching.  forgiving his friend for indirectly killing his father.  their bond.  was THE integral parts of those movies.  and in this one.  it was played off as more of a hinderance for toothless’ chance at love and freedom.  so that just.  hurt to watch.

what i wished: light fury wasn’t the massive, major plot point she was.  a side plot of them finding out there’s a light fury and hiccup trying to help toothless win her would be great.  it would have also been intriguing to see grimmel realize he missed a night fury and light fury and it would give both hiccup and toothless more incentive to fight strong and fast together to protect this new friend of theirs.

speaking of grimmel.

what a bloody letdown.

he started off so cool.  he was the night fury slayer.  he had these awesome dragons.  he could play three steps ahead.  he wasn’t phased at all by these three other... hunter warlord people.  he wasn’t this emo-looking stereotype like drago.  he was cold, manipulative.  calculating.  deadly.  went inside hiccup’s house and everything.  i was digging it.

but then his entire evil plot started to revolve around pretty, dragon lady and his... fear factor just.... diminished?  like.... badly.  like.  he knew exactly where hiccup and the tribe was going and yet somehow... lost them?  he let the light fury go... to... what exactly?  like... it was never fully explained what letting toothless and light fury meet accomplished for him.  like if toothless had just stayed with light fury in the hidden world and hiccup hadn’t come with astrid, what could grimmel have done?  he just.  lost.  he only had a chance again because hiccup’s needy, ex girlfriend like status got him and astrid caught and toothless had to save their asses.  and then somehow he needed ruff to lead him to them?

...he literally pointed at the islands the berkians could be at on a map.  how did he just suddenly lose them.  how did he not know they were on an island without ruffnut where did his excellent tactical skills go?

oh, wait.

he had to get made dumb and weaker because if he actually remained a decent villain then pretty, dragon lady would get less screen time in favor of a decent fight.  and they made him call it a “waiting game” and that the time was what made it fun but.  it was just an excuse to forget about him for a bit so we could get back to toothless trying to mate.

you have the guy who wiped out the night furies and he just.  sits back and lets them have fun dance time and go find the hidden world and literally never leave the first island they settled on and he does.... nothing....... until they go to him.

i’m sorry, what.

the killer of night furies?  more like the killer of a decent villain plot :/

don’t even get me started on his “death” scene.  his dragons are detained carrying the cages.  wow.  no cool fight with them.  captures light fury who he already had and let go ( if he knew toothless and light fury were gunna love love then he could have just used her from the start like he really could have and he also just... seemed smart enough to know toothless and hiccup wouldn’t sacrifice her so he just.  yeah.  she should have been a side plot, would have been more exciting for him to realize he missed two because his anger could have become beautiful with the fight and will to conquer ).  oh and even better, the poison which prior to this final scene only put night furies to sleep suddenly can be used to control pretty, dragon lady.  so now we’ve got that typical fight where toothless can’t actually fight or wah wah, he’ll hit his girlyfriend oh no.

cue dramatic scene from hiccup which was almost nice because asking light fury to save toothless was such a hiccup/toothless relationship moment and, briefly, reminded me of how close they are and that toothless is his best friend, but then it just becomes dramatic fall where of course we know she’ll save toothless and hiccup.

and then grimmel is just in the ocean and buh bye and that’s it.

the infamous night fury killer, y’all.  fucking falls in the ocean after the worst plan he’s probably ever thought out.  actually, just kidding, he probably didn’t think it out.  it was bad and his three steps ahead turned into like seven steps behind because the fact he wants to kill the night furies and deliver all the dragons to his accomplices is just.

put on the backburner for the pretty, dragon lady plot.

man i just really wanted light fury the side plot, hiccup and toothless’ strong friendship to lead them forward into defeating grimmel and protecting her and the other dragons and then just.  learning through each other that they both are powerful people/dragon even independently of each other and they have their own tribes of sorts to lead and toothless is needed there and the dragons can have a better life orsomething.  toothless having to leave “because humans aren’t ready for dragons yet” was dumb, y’all.  and not at all encouraging or lively.

the final lesson was basically humanity sucks, hiccup never learns that he’s strong on his own but he just has to let toothless go anyway, toothless takes 75% of the movie to even care about hiccup and having to say goodbye...  grimmel was the most unimposing villain ever.  overall lessons: love means letting going ( cough just fucking forgetting your friends cough ), growing up requires sacrifice...  basically getting older sucks.

the flashbacks were almost okay.  the one with stoick crying over valka was actually amazing but... the one with the hidden world?  way to just shit all over how stoick was in the first movie.  makes his intolerance in the first movie seem... less so?  like.  “oh, i just wanna make the dragons go back to their land so we can be safe and they can be safe.”

no, stoick, y’wanted to fucking murder them all.  i guess his motives could have become worse over the years but.  then that just makes him more a bad character because he just gives up the idea of harmony and becomes “fuck it, kill them all” and uh........ yeah.

( the irony of this all is that hiccup ends up becoming the one to be like “well, guess we should live separated :///” )

i could get more in depth with these explanations probably but idk is it worth it, this post is already long enough.  i’m getting the basics across.  i think.  if you’re really curious, you can ask for more info on something.

a final thing.

other than, like. eret, valka, tuffnut, and astrid, why did all the characters.... suck?  they took... literally nothing seriously.  tuffnut didn’t either but, tbh, his “guy talk” stuff with hiccup was so great that i’m okay with him lmao.  but... fishlegs was barely there, snotlout was creepy with hitting on valka, and ruffnut was literal hell.  sure, her scene with annoying grimmel and all was “funny” but man did it make me cringe.

as a ruffnut stan, she’s... not that fucking dumb.  she would have looked back, she would have made sure she wasn’t being followed.  even in the show she wasn’t that bad.  and the show ruffnut was... bad.

like i just don’t know what to say.  they were all useless.  there were two solid scenes were they felt like they were there and actually friends with hiccup and part of the gang.  the first scene with the raid and then when toothless is, like.  practicing his awkward dancing and hiccup is telling them all about the light fury ( fishlegs is running around trying to draw her and the twins are interacting and everything like they all felt there and part of the group, it was awesome, and then they just never play a role again other than ruffnut’s absolute stupidity which was just a horrible moment for her and a weakass moment for grimmel because we’re reminded he went from being in total control to not knowing wtf he’s doing because oh, letting pretty, dragon lady go is actually and problem since she and toothless just flew off bye bye ).

...also tuffnut and ruffnut were HORRENDOUS to each other?  wtf?  and forgetting his sister?  uhm.  their whole relationship was just.  awful.  and just for laughs.  it was.  cringe fest.

okay lied.  now a final thing.

the ending.  i get dreamworks wanted to show the kids but just.  end it sooner.  i didn’t want to see hiccup and toothless reunite.  i didn’t.  especially not after how bitter everything just made me at least let me be sad and stay sad.  you have.  all this buildup, you have an actually decent scene with them saying goodbye and being the friends we know them to be.  and then you’re just

“lol just kidding here they are again.”

like.  have the kids, see hiccup sailing off with them.  end.  and it just reinforced the idea that hiccup never actually got over the idea that he’s nothing without toothless.  i wanted it concluding with strong, hiccup power and the knowledge that we know toothless is off being a badass somewhere with light fury.  it would have been much more impactful.  if you’re going to commit to the dragons leaving, full on commit.  him seeing toothless again would have felt more right if toothless and the dragons had left just for their betterment of lifestyle and not because “humanity no goo.”  idk it just.  was dumb and dragged on.  see the kids, see them sail.  end.  like i said.  i can’t even remember what hiccup was saying over all of it because it hit me it went from something that could have been awesome and learning about letting go and building life and all that to “lol but yay i found my dragon again :D”

also hiccup’s older model was just his same with a beard?  at least astrid’s looked better.  and then kids were just.  baby hiccup boy but with blond hair and little pig tail girl ( isn’t she a model used in one of the other movies?  her model was super familiar ) but with brown hair.  pretty uh.  yeah.  and the nightlight babies....................

personally.... not impressed lmao.

and, well.  that wraps up my major thoughts for now.  i’m sure i had others but it’s been like three weeks since i saw the movie so.  i’m going off what fiery embers managed to keep burning during this time.

in regards to ruffnut, you can see i didn’t like how she was portrayed.  so for the most part, i’m erasing that section in her canon.  she will have looked behind her and been cautious.  i’ll do the plot a flavor and just go with how grimmel should have been and that he was actually an intimidating villain who knew where they were and was waiting for the chance to strike.  so my ruffnut didn’t fuck up like that.  also she escapes by better wit than just being obnoxious :/

and also happy to just ignore a lot of how the movie was handled but.  for the sake of partners, i will otherwise accept canon as it is.  just.  now you can might see why i didn’t care for the canon as is.

ps i haven’t 100% read over this because it’s late, forgive any horrendous typos that i’ll fix later hopefully when less sjklfas;d

[filmaficionerdo]

Best Films of 2018

Best Films of 2018

2018 was not the year for prestige pictures by a long shot.  Film this year was at its best when it came to superhero movies, and as much as I prefer those over most any other entertainment, that shouldn’t be the case, and that’s not what got me into film in the first place.  As happy as I am to see my favorite comic book characters come to life, I got into film because of daring, bold, and outspoken artists who didn’t need a franchise to speak their minds.  Too many mid-range films went to Netflix or other streaming services and they’re mostly of poor quality with a few exceptions.  I miss the days when film studios took risks, but now they only look for the largest IP with the largest net-profits.  It’s sad.  I love Marvel movies more than anyone I know but they shouldn’t be the only reason I look forward to going to the theater.  But this year also sparked a personal change for me because I moved away from the movie mecca of Hollywood to mid-Michigan, where there aren’t any arthouse theaters nearby during peak awards season so I missed more films than I would’ve liked (even though it’s been the most emotionally rewarding experience I’ve ever had) so I hope that helps explain why this list is so late.  I’ve been catching up on independent films via online rentals as soon as I can and still have many left unseen.  So maybe I missed something during 2018, but I can’t help but be letdown by the lack of inspiration I look to when I try to experience the medium I’m most passionate about.  With that being said, I was still able to conjure a list of my favorite 25 films of the year.  So, here goes:

25. Halloween

This was way better than I would’ve expected, especially coming from the guys who brought us Your Highness.  Director David Gordon Green and writer Danny (Eastbound & Down) McBride delivered the first worthy Halloween sequel that’s ever existed.  Their updated and timely subversion elevated this homage-y sequel while adding more fun than this franchise has ever seen.  John Carpenter’s contribution and the opening credits sequence hit hard with me.

24. Ready Player One

Haters be damned, I really enjoyed this movie.  Of course, I never read the book so that discredits me somewhat but what I got was a rousing Spielbergian experience that we haven’t witnessed since Minority Report.  If you hate this movie, but you loved Hook, there’s something fundamentally wrong with what you think a Spielberg movie is supposed to be about.  Ready Player One was a toybox of fun ideas and intellectual properties sewn together for a generation hung up on video games and nostalgia.  It’s definitely not his best but I love seeing a veteran director who still has the ability to dust off his old toys and make pretend.  The Shining sequence was an absolute standout of appreciation and love for another director’s craft.  

23. Sorry to Bother You

Boots Riley’s debut was strong and weird as hell.  This felt like Spike Lee meets David Cronenberg.  It’s funny, nuanced, and insightful.  Riley’s new voice was energetic and angry in the best way.  I saw this later in the year than I wanted to, but I have a feeling that repeat viewings will enhance this films relevance and my appreciation.

22. You Were Never Really Here 

Lynne Ramsay is one of the best and most unpredictable working directors today.  I always look forward to her work, but this semi-Taxi Driver remake was remarkably accessible for her and more powerful than it had any right to be.  If you haven’t seen it, seek it out.  It’s a crisp 88 minutes long and it’s riveting as well as heartbreaking.  There was a uniqueness to the short runtime, violence, and poignant urgency that she handled with deftness.  Joauquin Phoenix was remarkable, brute, and subtle all at once.

21. Ant-Man & The Wasp

Go ahead and agree that this wasn’t the strongest Marvel output in a while, but just like the previous Ant-Man, it’s a palette cleanser from a previous Avengers film.  Ant-Man & The Wasp is maybe the most child friendly film they’ve ever released and it was still enjoyable as hell.  It’s not important.  It’s simple fun.  And I love that Marvel still knows how to craft something that doesn’t want or need to reach for the fences.  Sometimes an inside the field hit is just what we need.  Ant-Man & The Wasp is a damn good bunt.

20. The Incredibles 2

Now that I hang out with a toddler on the reg, watching this movie never gets boring.  I’d know, because she’s watched it with me five times.  Incredibles 2 was long overdue and it’s maybe not quite so worthy of such a long wait considering the original was my favorite film of 2004, but its sequel was still full of exceptional animation.  That sequence with Jack Jack and the raccoon still fills me with joy.

19. A Star is Born

Bradley Cooper’s directorial debut was surprisingly strong.  Filming everything in close-ups was an intimate and innovative way to express a rising star’s personal journey to stardom.  Even though we can all agree that the first half of the film is vastly superior to the tear-turkey-jerky second half, it’s still an important film and a worthy update of a timeless classic.  The music, performances, cinematography, and sound are all exceptional.   

18. BlacKkKlansman

Spike Lee felt reborn with BlacKkKlansman.  Do The Right Thing will always be one of the all time greatest films; no question.  BlacKkKlansman might be his best since.  John David Washington just established himself as a commanding lead, and Adam Driver further cemented himself as a phenomenal actor.  The poetic-ness combined with the satirical edginess made this one significantly heartbreaking watch while being entertaining and iconic all at the same time.

17. The Death of Stalin

I saw The Death of Stalin early in 2018 and it never left me.  Writer/Director Armando Iannucci is a certifiable genius and the controversial nature of a film like this was one of the most refreshing voices of the year.  This is one of the darkest political satires I’ve ever seen but it’s so goddamn funny.  Laughing at something so atrocious and maddening is one of the only ways we, as a society, can heal from dark times in history.  I fully believe it takes the power away from the people who committed such heinous crimes.  It takes time and a brilliant voice, but it holds a mirror to the ridiculousness we’re currently subjected to, and hopefully with time, we can make fun of our situation too.

16. Leave No Trace

Debra Granik finally followed up her outstanding Winter’s Bone debut and she did not suffer from the sophomore slump that so many other filmmakers have.  Leave No Trace is the saddest love letter to veterans that I’ve ever seen even though it’s beautiful and full of hope.  Granik definitely should’ve gotten a Best Director nomination this year for her delicate and heartfelt look at a father struggling with PTSD while living with his daughter in the woods, away from society.  Ben Foster and Thomasin McKenzie are stunning.  This film stayed with me for weeks after I watched it.  It’s a small but hugely important film.

15. Annihilation

Alex Garland previously made his directorial debut with Ex Machina after an incredible script writing filmography.  He’s established himself as one of the smartest and most important voices in science fiction cinema after Annihilation.  This is a heady sci fi film that scared the shit out of me.  I felt uneasy the second the group of women walked into The Shimmer.  Garland adapted the book it’s based on after only reading the book once, but he created something so frighteningly ethereal that it’ll be talked about for years.  The score for this was off the charts good.  Going from an acoustic instrumental to something electronic was what struck me the most as a stroke of genius.

14. Shoplifters

For a film I saw so recently, very few films this year have had such an emotional impact on me.  Shoplifters is a small “family” film from Korean director Hirokazu Kore-eda, but it packs a punch that I wasn’t expecting.  All I knew was that critics loved it and it was up for a Best Foreign Language Oscar.  It’s a powerhouse of social status and what it means to be a family that defies language and cultural relevance.  

13. First Man

First Man hit me hard on a personal level.  I’d sort of written off Damien Chazelle as a director after La La Land underwhelmed me so much, but this film reinvigorated my appreciation in him because the filmmaking here was profoundly beautiful.  The acting is impeccable.  The cinematography was breathtaking.  Seeing this in IMAX (as my last film in LA) was a jaw-dropping cry-fest.  I left the theater shook.  I doubt this film will shake as many as it did me, especially if you missed it in IMAX, but this was the theater experience of the year.  At least recognize that Justin Hurwitz’s musical score was the most overlooked snub at this years Academy Awards.

12. Suspiria

This was another film I’d sorely missed in theaters, but when I finally got a chance to witness it I was blown away.  Luca Guadaninio’s follow-up to my favorite film of last year, Call Me By Your Name, was a worthy successor.  This was less a horror film, and more of an art-house homage to Dario Argento’s original 70s classic.  It’s still a haunting film, but in a beautifully macabre way.  Thom Yorke’s score is absolutely outstanding, as well as the subversively drab look, completely deviating from the originals color saturated visual palette.  It’s a film that has to be watched more than once.  Even though it’s 2.5 hours long, I was completely transfixed the entire time.  It’ll depend on your mood or taste, but if you enjoy artistic, visual, and auditory enhanced horror, Suspiria is among the best. 

11. Mandy

Throw up the horns.  Mandy is here.  Pasmos Cosmatos cerebral horror film is full of the best revenge porn I’ve ever seen.  Nicolas Cage is unhinged (as he should be) in his best performance in ages.  He’s the Cage we’ve been dreaming of since the 90s.  The first half of this film belongs to Andrea Riseborough and underrated character actor Linus Roache, but the second half is all Rage Cage in full gory glory.  Mandy is a film unlike anything you’ve ever seen, but yet somehow it’s still completely accessible.  The title cards for each chapter are something straight out of a Heavy Metal comic book, and the hauntingly beautiful score by the late-genius Jóhann Jóhannsson is simply gorgeous.  Mandy is a film meant to be laughed at and with.  It’s a fever-dream of ideas that work brilliantly as a whole.  It’s a hard one to recommend but if you know, you know.  

10. Eighth Grade

Bo Burnham just burst onto the directorial scene with this film about the awkwardness of being a thirteen year old girl.  Not something you’d expect from a male standup comedian in times like these, especially when it’s handled so delicately and with so much heart, but it feels so important to young kids who’ve been thrown into subjectivity amongst their peers within the digital age.  Eighth Grade can, at times, make you so uncomfortable, and at other times it’ll completely tear your heart out and make you want to hug your dad.  I know, because I saw it in the theater with my dad.  He was like, you’re still the eighth grade girl you’ve always been.  Thanks, dad.  

9. Aquaman

I know there isn’t a ton of hate for this film, but there isn’t a ton of high praise for it either.  Aquaman was exactly the film James Wan set out to make.  It’s one of the most comic book-y films since Age of Ultron except it’s dumb as hell, and for that, I absolutely LOVED it.  This was a throwback comic book film ripped from the pages that was corny as hell and never took itself too seriously.  Aquaman is a damn hard character to adapt so it’s unbelievable that he got this big of a budget that included over-the-top actors like Willem Dafoe and Dolph Lundgren.  Patrick Wilson chews the scenery as Ocean Master and I don’t give a damn what people think of Black Manta; he’s completely awesome.  You could’ve easily cut this film down, but I was happy to live in its oceanic cheesball world for hours.  Aquaman was the comic book movie of the year that was as ridiculous as it was awesome.  I laughed so hard at how stupid it could be, but I couldn’t help but be entertained by how insane it was.

8. Mission: Impossible Fallout

I don’t know how these films keep getting better, but they do.  This was THE action film of 2018.  As much as I love Fast & Furious 5-7, Mission: Impossible 4-6 has been the best run of a long running action franchise ever.  Fallout brought one of the best villains yet in a story that barely makes sense, but I couldn’t care less.  This film was big in that edge-of-your-seat way that rarely comes along.  Thrilling doesn’t begin to describe it.  The IMAX presentation was fantastic.  I live for movies like this.  It harkens back to 80s and 90s action films but presents itself for a whole new era of practical effects extravaganza.  It’s the best action film since Mad Max: Fury Road.

7. Black Panther

There are a lot of people questioning this film’s entry as a Best Picture Nominee, but it absolutely deserves all of the recognition it’s getting.  Ryan Coogler’s Black Panther is both culturally and politically significant as it is cinematically.  This film is a culmination of what Marvel has been growing to.  The Marvel Cinematic Universe isn’t simply about story progression, it’s about cultural progression.  These films represent societal beacons of the times we live in through decades old comic book prisms.  The lore and spirit of the comics are still present, as well as relevant, and the socio-political themes have been injected into them effortlessly.  

A character like Black Panther can be a leader of change within his own cinematic universe.  Marvel’s created something that transcends blockbuster cinema.  Black Panther is now an icon of cultural appreciation that can inspire real change in the real world.  He’s an optimistic embodiment of what we should strive to achieve as a society.  We should share with the world our hope for change.  Comic Book’s have never been so relevant.  Black Panther has never been so important.

6. Roma

Director Alfonso Cuarón’s intimate portrayal of life as a housemaid was one of the most vibrantly affecting films I’ve ever seen.  Every single shot wasn’t just a landscape; it was a mural.  I’ve never seen direction take this angle and provide so much while saying so little.  Some people might’ve felt emotionally disconnected from his style but Cuarón’s masterful direction captivated me like very few films this year had.  There are multiple layers to his visual representation that effect more of what’s seen than what’s said.  It’s not an easy watch and perhaps that’s part of why it was released by Netflix.  Unfortunately, I had to watch this at home instead of in theaters, but I still felt the impact of the themes and presentation.  It’s one of the few Best Picture nominees that truly belong in the category that’ll stand the test of time.  

5. Paddington 2

This was one of the earliest releases of 2018 and it never escaped my mind throughout the year.  Paddington 2 advances upon the original’s tone to encapsulate something that is pure joy.  Paul King directed the bejeezus out of this movie.  I felt like I was watching Wes Anderson meets Harry Potter.  I saw Paddington 2 in theaters with just one mother and daughter couple and it never felt weird.  The only thing that’s weird is that more people haven’t seen this film.  I had a smile from ear to ear the entire time.  This movie is magic.  Like the Harry Potter films, all of the best British actors are present, and Hugh Grand and Brendon Gleeson give their best performances in years, if not ever.  Hugh Grant should’ve been nominated for Best Supporting Actor.  If you haven’t seen this hidden gem yet, do your soul a favor and seek it out immediately.

4. The Favourite

Yorgos Lanthimos is on a roll.  This nutty Greek director began his career with the insane film, Dogtooth, and hasn’t let up since.  But he’s also learned and built from his previous work.  What started as something of a cultish followed career has expanded into prestigious and innovative filmmaking.  I’d nearly missed this film in theaters until I drove across the state to see this with my parents in Ann Arbor, and although it might be one of the worst movies to see with your parental units, we all could agree that this was a uniquely hilarious and thought-provoking experience.  At first, I wasn’t sure what to think because I was too busy trying to avoid talking to my mom and dad about Emma Stone jerking somebody off, but The Favourite stayed with me for weeks and I loved dissecting all of its themes and nuances.  The Favourite is both entertaining and timely.  It’s another one of the films this year that absolutely belong with (and should’ve won) the Best Picture nominations.

3. Widows

Steve McQueen’s Widows was vastly underseen and underrated.  Here’s a director who usually only does vague, cerebral drama, but working with Gillian Flynn as a screenwriter adapting Lynda LaPlante’s 1983 novel about wives finishing the heist their husbands failed to complete before their untimely deaths, is about as pulpy and as timely as you can get.  There are a lot of stories woven into Widows epic crime saga and some critics have faulted the film’s narrative for it, but look at Heat; one of the most prolific crime sagas of all time, which has more subplots than you could imagine, yet it’s still widely regarded as one of the best films ever made.  Widows is the best film of its kind since Heat in 1995.  It still carries the acting heavyweights and still compelled me more than nearly any other film in 2018.

2. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Into the Spider-Verse is one of the few films in 2018 that has the power to influence cinema for the future.  Not only is it extraordinarily entertaining, but it’s also innovative in terms of style and theme.  No other film in 2018 was this inventive and groundbreaking.  I was definitely excited to see this as a lifelong Spider-Man fan, but based on Sony’s mishandling of the character for years, it had me extremely cautious.  Thanks to Phil Lord and Chris Miller’s impeccable screenplay, I got more than the Spider-Man I’ve always wanted to see.  This is a Spider-Man for a new generation.  He’s not my Spider-Man, he never was.  This film is for everyone, and I mean EVERYONE.  The cell-shaded animation and soundtrack elevated this film into bonafide classic territory.  I couldn’t even comprehend it after I first saw it, because I wasn’t ready for something so new.  Months after I watched this film, I could not stop thinking about it.  Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is so nerdy for the fans and so accessible to the newcomers.  It feels like I’m living in an alternate universe where good movies in 2018 DO exist.

1. Avengers: Infinity War

The *Snap* heard ‘round the World...

Marvel has a good history of taking formulas from other genres and using them as a framing device for their superhero films; political thrillers, space operas, video games, heist films are all borrowed ideas that helped them keep the superhero genre from feeling stale. Avengers: Infinity War is Marvel’s fantasy epic. This is the Lord of the Rings of the MCU. The result is legendary. The Russo Bros. looked at their massive roster of heroes, who audiences have come to deeply care for over ten years, and came up with a way to tell one cohesive world-ending story centered around one villain; the mad titan, Thanos. They looked at Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones, and they saw how well those were balanced, and they applied it to a superhero film. It’s unbelievably well executed. The big reason Infinity War works so cosmically well is Josh Brolin’s portrayal of Thanos. We couldn’t get behind another world-ending event in these movies unless we believed and understood the villain that was behind it all.  Brolin gave Thanos both menace and pathos.  From the moment the movie starts, the stakes feel real. None of the characters are safe because we believe Thanos is capable of anything from the very beginning.  There aren’t many epics where we spend this much time with the villain.  Thankfully, Marvel knows we already care about the heroes, so after building up a ten year rapport between audiences and protagonists it was finally time to focus on the Big Cheese who’s behind all the conflict. This movie is so comic book/fantasy it’s ridiculous.  I loved every second of it and could not wipe the smile off my face nor the tears from my eyes.  I felt like my ten year old self, alone and engrossed in the most epic comic book I’ve ever read.  I was shaken when I left the theater. I turned around and watched it again just 30 minutes after my first viewing, and I couldn’t believe how captivated I was the second time, third time, forth viewing, fifth, sixth, and so on...  Nothing could’ve prepared me for this film and I’m so thankful it exists.

[hotchkiss-and-tell]

5-9 & 12

You gave me a lot to respond to. xoxo

Most:

5. Humorous game? (Good, clever jokes…) TRN. I cackle with that old man’s dialogue in the burger place. And the characters are a stellar line up for humor. We’ve got cold-blooded sass master Charleena, the spaciness of Lori Girard, back-and-forth cuteness of Frank and Joe (plus the Samuel Clemens line xD), Bess and George on the phone with their sideplot of getting paint in George’s hair, and the biggest joke of all in Tino Balducci.

6. Scary game? I’m gonna say Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake. We arrive at a deserted cabin, the person who can explain gets cut off right before saying what to expect, there’s a creepy old man wandering around the property, and THEN we hear them. Howling in the distance and as soon as we get inside, the attack starts. After that, every time Nancy had to go into the woods at night, I thought the dogs would return and there’d be a chase back to the cabin. Logically the dogs should’ve returned at least once after the first night because the culprit doesn’t know Sally left already. Nancy has to wait until the second night to get the sparkplug from Red Knott before she can go anywhere else and spread the news of being left all alone. There are so many sublevels to investigate the Malone property – with the secret basement, the tunnels to the speakeasy, the tunnels to the cave entrance where the dogs are caged, and finally the flooded safe. The shed fire sequence is pretty intense too. Just everything… what an atmosphere of isolation!

7. Time needed to complete a game, and which one? I don’t time my games. For first playthroughs I definitely take more time since I’m exploring and everything is new. I don’t think I’ve finished a first attempt in a single day. Maybe the longest run based on amount of puzzles and time-consuming tasks is either ICE (because you have to stop and cook and shovel the pond and clean the rooms each day) or SSH (because of the initial intern tasks and the back and forth of getting answers for the temple quiz). I did leave a VEN game hanging for a year since I just didn’t want steal the sapphire.

8. Disappointing game? Shattered Medallion. It was hugely disappointing if you’d been anticipating its release. Game 30! Sonny freaking Joon was on the cover. Our kooky intern of international mystery was a featured character! Bess and George sounded like they’d be playable, as ASH was. New Zealand was the setting; LotR movie landscape revisited in a different fandom. And then the final product was such a letdown. To name a few: the game show aspect didn’t make a difference, the puzzles were frustrating, HeR did Bess so dirty in the game, George was sidelined way too early, and Sonny’s voice acting was boring. The whole game isn’t bad, but it certainly didn’t live up to the hype.

9. Surprising game? Treasure in the Royal Tower since it was my first one ever and I didn’t know what to expect at all. Everything was a surprise.

12. What do you think of The Silent Spy? Any theories? Silent Spy was certainly ambitious, but I think this spy thriller aesthetic could’ve been more of a Hardy Boys game. Not because girls can’t be spies, but because the Hardy Boys are established in a national intel network. Making amateur detective Nancy Drew thwart international terrorism? 

It’s such a disconnect from what we’ve been playing before. Stopping smuggling rings and kidnappings are an average day for Nancy, but biological warfare is too big. I also don’t feel like we know Kate Drew any better after this game. She taught Nancy some piano and risked everything to stop a terrorist cell, but outside of leaving clues for her daughter to hopefully never have to step into her shoes, what is the woman like? And we just let Moira off the hook for admitting that she lured Kate into what ended her life? It’s fun to play with the gadgets like the special glasses, the archery course, and the zipline, and the graphics are beautiful. Especially lovely how the flashbacks have that look – like details are missing at the edges from it being so long ago, but you remember someone’s face or voices shouting downstairs or what toys you used to have or the notes of a song being played. I like the plot concept of Nancy investigating Kate’s death, but why’d it have to escalate so high?

Thanks for the ask, sweetie!

[atypicalkataangist]

Responsibility

Type: Oneshot [Romantic] Summary: Aang and Katara get in a big fight. Word count: 1747 Author’s note Hey there! Soo, I’ve been writing about so many good things now, and even though I believe they came along pretty well as a married couple, I think it’s inevitable to get into a bigger fight from time to time. So that’s what today’s story is about ^^ Funfact: props to my guinea pig Hannibal for giving me the original idea for the reason of their fight. But you’ll see :D

"And I'm telling you he's got nothing to do with it!"

Aang was pissed off. Even worse, he was pissed off about Katara. The young couple didn't use to fight very often, but like in every healthy relationship the one or another bigger fight was included. In the last few weeks it's gotten progressively worse however. Katara had given birth to their first child only a few weeks earlier, and as much as their sweet little man constantly reminded them of their love for each other, it could become really exhausting. None of them could really handle the severe sleep deprivation caused by young Bumi's very light sleep, so he kept both of them awake most of the nights.

And like most other young parents it still took them a while to adjust to their new role. They, especially Katara, didn't want to mess anything up, so they felt like they were under a lot of pressure. The combination of stress and sleep deprivation had both of them really tensed, frequently causing them to freak out at each other without much of a reason. Even their sex life began to suffer now, either they didn't find enough time, or if they did, they were too exhausted or not in the mood to let off some steam.

"Oh Aang, you're ridiculous! Stay and talk to me!", she demanded, follwing her husband out of their home. He was too angry with her to talk to her in a constructive way. On her arm she carried their baby son, crying desperately for attention.

They were out in the open now, on the stone path leading to Appa's stable near the coast of air temple island. He couldn't bear with that situation anymore, at least not for the moment. He needed to get away, even if only for a couple of hours.

"I'm the one who's ridiculous?! Katara, you know Momo as long as I do, he would never, ever bite Bumi!"

"I can't believe it!", she moaned obviously pretty damn annoyed as well, "So you're taking your lemur's side and not your son's?!"

"No, that's not what I..."

"I couldn't care less about Momo right now, Aang!", she screamed, "I only see my - OUR son crying in pain because of an animal bite and you're not doing anything to help me! Instead you're too focused on defending your precious lemur to even consider the fact that he might have harmed Bumi!" The small boy on her arm didn't stop to sob, seemingly feeling the turmoil and agitation within his mother. She cuddled him closer against her chest, carefully as not to disturb him anymore. Lowering her voice, she added, "at least we have him long enough to eliminate the thought that he has any dangerous deseases with which he could've infected Bumi. His immune system is still extremely fragile, Aang, don't you realize that? Or do you just not care?!"

Deep inside, she immediately regretted saying that, but she was too angry and too aroused in that moment to take it back.

"Ka...Katara..." He could do nothing but standing there in bewilderment, his mouth agape and his eyes sad and hurted. She could see how much she had hurted his feelings with that comment. Of course she knew how much Aang cared about his son.

"How could you say something like that?" He turned around, fighting back tears that tried to break free. Slowly, he followed the path to Appa's stable. He needed some time alone.

She followed him. She didn't mean to hurt him like that. He didn't deserve that.

The Avatar whistled to call Appa out of his stable, preparing the saddle even though he was about to do this trip alone.

"Aang!"

He turned around from Appa, looking at her with hurted, disappointed eyes.

"I'm just saying that you can't be the child anymore. You have a child now. WE have a child now, Aang! You have to take on your responsibility as a father! You're carrying the responsibility of a tiny life, so you have to take this seriously!"

Without another word, he turned around again, airbended himself on top of his bison and took place on his head.

"I'm doing my fucking best, Katara." He never swore, so he must've been extremely aroused. "I'm sorry I'm not the perfect father right off the bat, but I'm doing my fucking best! Yip yipp."

"Where are you going, Aang?!", she screamed while the bison slowly began to levitate.

"I'll blow off some steam. I'm back when I'm back.", he yelled while Appa carried him away from his crying child and his baffled wife.

----

"Shit, Shit, SHIT!", he screamed, letting out all of his anger against the trunk of a tree. He didn't want to hurt anyone, be it human or animal, so he chose to land in a small forest near the coast of republic city, were barely anyone else was ever around.

His knuckles began to hurt as the tree bark splattered off the trunk. "I'm SUCH an idiot!", he screamed, walking in circles and falling onto his knees. She was right, she was absolutely right. He needed to get a hold of himself. What kind of father would leave his crying newborn alone and just leave in the middle of a fight?

"Oh, spirits, I messed up big time..."

Indecisive what to do, he changed into the lotus position and tried to calm his nerves by meditating. He had still way too much on his mind to detach himself from the world. He needed to step up to his responsibilities. He needed to go back home and apologize to Katara. He wanted to make her happy again. And he wanted to make Bumi happy as well.

Katara couldn't stop crying after Aang had left. She felt horrible. Did she really blame Aang to not care about his son's well being? She loved Aang, she really did, and she didn't stop loving him after Bumi was born. But she needed him. Of course she had so many things yet to learn as well, but she couldn't do this alone. She needed Aang. She missed him. Emotionally and physically. Maybe she had underestimated the effort to raise a child as well, but she knew that she chose the right husband to do so. She would've never want to do this with anyone else. Aang was perfect. He just needed some time to get used to his new life.

---

The sun was already setting when Aang returned home. He instantly made his way to the meditation pond in the back of the island to get his thoughts in order and prepared what he wanted to say to his wife.

He watched the peaceful koi fish swimming in their pond as dire thoughts began to cloud up his mind again.

'They don't deserve someone like you. You're the worst father a newborn child can have.'

Stop. Stop!

'You're nothing but a huge letdown for those who love you.'

"Stop!", he screamed, sad and confused.

"Aang? Aang, are you alright?" He quickly turned around to see his wife standing across from him, barefoot and already in her nightdress, carrying her sleeping son on her arm. She watched him with sorrowful, yet loving eyes.

"Katara! Sweetie...", he ran towards her and hugged her with her tears in his eyes. "Katara, I'm so, so sorry...I feel so bad for bailing out before... I can't just leave you two alone."

"Oh Aang..." her eyes began to tear up as well, "It's okay, I said things I shouldn't have said as well."

"You were right about most of it though. I have to take my role as father more seriously. I'll double my efforts from now on, I promise. I love you and I Bumi more than you could ever imagine, the last thing I  want is to drive you away from me."

"Sweetie...", her trembling lips kissed his cheek while her free hand rested on his chest. "Of course I know you love us, and I love you now more than ever. But I need you for this, Aang."

"I know, Sweetie. And I promise I'll be there for you from now on."

She smiled at him just as warmly as she did after freeing him from the iceberg. "Thank you, sweetie. I love you. And I'm sorry for what I said."

He kissed her and his bad thoughts finally began to drown in a wave of dopamin and euphoria.

"You look tired, sweetie. Come, let me take Bumi out for a small good night walk around the island while you go to sleep. Alright?"

She could stop herself right before beginning another discussion, simply nodded after realizing that she lingered after some sleep.

Carefully she gave her son into his father's arms, who couldn't let his eyes off of the tiny bundle of joy that was about to wake up from his light sleep again, whining for attention.

"I got this. Good Night, Sweetie.", he whispered. "I love you."

"I love you, too.", she answered, kissing her husband first and pressing a few quick kisses in her son's tiny forehead. "Both of you."

Not without feeling a tiny ache in her heart after letting go of her baby, however realizing that he was in good hands with his father, she left to finally go to sleep.

Her family stayed at the pond and especially her husband enjoyed the last beams of sunlight that illuminated the sky. Bumi was very calm again, rocked to sleep by the gentle motion of his father's arm.

"Women, he?", Aang whispered more to himself as to his sleepy son im his arms. "They drive you crazy and they feel right about everything, but in the end of the day  you just can't but love them more than anything else in the entire world. Except you, Bumi. Your Dad loves you more than you could ever imagine.", he whispered and carefully as not to wake him up kissed his forehead. "You and your Mom give my life a purpose. And I'll be forever grateful for that."

Hope you liked it! Writing the reconciliation turned out to be a lot harder than I expected, I hope it didn’t get too cheesy in the end. 

Oh, by the way: I’ll soon be on a vacation in greece until the 24th, so I might not be able to write anything during that period. Trying my best however! :)

[thetypedwriter]

Ready Player One Book Review

Ready Player One Book  Review by Ernest Cline

Ready Player One is never a book I would have bought for myself. For one, its adult fiction, which is just, well, gross and boring, and two it didn’t seem like my type of thing. I like romance and fantasy and witches and fairies, not…the eighties as an era and virtual realities.

However, when you are an English major in college and currently an English teacher by day, people get you books for Christmas. It is a thing ™. So my good-natured neighbor, who also makes the most delicious banana bread, got me Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. Not going to lie, the cover looked lame and I had never heard of it and I stashed it away in the books-we-don’t-speak-of pile for almost a year until I picked it up and read it because frankly I didn’t have anything else to read and I figured it would be a waste to you know, throw it away or donate it.

So here we are. Almost a full year and a half after I first received it and after I’ve finally read it (and watched the terrible movie). I’ll try to keep this short and simple. The book was better than I thought it would be. It wasn’t too hard for me to vibe with the characters since when the novel starts, the main character, Wade Watts, is a senior in high school and not too far from the main characters that I tend to stray towards in YA. 

So, Wade Watts is a typical literature orphan who lives with his horribly negligent aunt and his whole life’s purpose and happiness derives from a virtual reality simulation called The Oasis. People’s lives inside the Oasis have become just as much real and valuable as people’s lives outside the Oasis and because the world is such a poverty-stricken, pollution ridden hell hole, people tend to spend more of their time stuck inside a virtual reality to escape from their actual reality since it sucks the big hairy meatball.

This of course, presents the age-old questions since Plato posed it in his fable of “The Myth of the Cave.” Are your choices and your life real if it is inside a virtual reality? Are emotions? Your thoughts? Feelings? It’s an interesting conundrum and Cline doesn’t so much as answer it as he does play out his novel and let you decide for yourself whether it counts or doesn’t, although it becomes clear in the end what his stance is on this particular issue.

The plot of the novel revolves largely around a competition that is currently ongoing and thought to be impossible before our main boy Wade makes the first moves and solves the first riddle. The creator of the Oasis, James Halliday, hid a gargantuan sum of money inside the game called an “Easter egg” as well as the power to control the whole of the simulation for whoever was able to find his three doors and complete his quest.

Wade Watts has dedicated his whole life to this quest and along the way finds virtual love, loss of friends and foes, and countless dangerous situations inside and outside the simulation. While I enjoyed the plot and Wade was a tolerable main protagonist, what really fascinated me was the author’s knowledge of 80’s pop music, retro video games, television shows, and general pop culture. 

Littered throughout the book are countless allusions to shows in real life, movies, books, video games, manga, anime, and especially arcade games. I loved learning these little facts and tidbits and it made the reading experience very enjoyable when I knew they existed in the real world-in my world.

I often found myself researching some game mentioned or some movie just to give myself a more accurate depiction of what Wade and the others were going through. Overall, I largely enjoyed the book except for the ending. I found the ending pedantic, trite, and downright hackneyed. Nothing happened. He won the game and that was that.

 It felt very much like an April Fool’s joke but it wasn’t. Either I’ve become very systematic in how I view endings from YA that often conclude with a sardonic twist or a shocking revelation, but the ending to Ready Player One was just too…easy. It was boring. Not that it was bad it was just very predictable, which I found to be a huge letdown.

Recommendation: If you love the 80’s and are a giant nerd of video game history and how games have evolved over the centuries this book will be an absolute delight for you. I recommend only reading the book knowing the ending will not blow your socks off, but at least deliver on a anticipated note and never, ever watch the movie under any circumstances as it was the most wretched thing I’ve seen since M. Night Shyamalan’s

production of Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Score: 7/10

[beepbeep-losers]

Oh Sure, Fall for the Trashmouth

Part 1: crush crush crush 

Hello, you wonderful losers. This is my first fic that isn’t like….an answer to an ask. So so so much thanks to @tozbraks for reading over this tonight!

The fic is a sort of Reddie-through-the-years fic. It’s long as fuck, and there will be at least one more part to this. 

I hope you all enjoy!

Ship: Reddie

Length: 3.8k

Warnings: f-slur / homophobia, cursing (of course), abuse or abuse mention (if not in this chapter then in others)

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier was Eddie Kaspbrak’s best friend. Had been since they were nine years old. Before that, his best friend had been Bill Denbrough. Something was different with Richie, though. Eddie had felt that difference for a while, but couldn’t put his finger on it. Then, Beverly Marsh laid before a group of loser boys in their underwear, drying off after playing in the water of the quarry.

Eddie had peered at her curiously, wanting to know what was so coveted about a girl’s body. Richie always talked about girls, and so did the rest of the guys. He didn’t feel much and was ready to joke with the guys about how it was kind of a letdown, but when he looked over they were all staring slack-jawed. Eddie started to feel a little uncomfortable. What was different about him? 

Eddie went from uncomfortable to upset when he saw how wide Richie’s eyes were as they ogled Bev.

Wait. Why did he care? He didn’t care about the other guys looking at her like that (other than the fact that he was a little weirded out that he was the only one that wasn’t). Why did he care that Richie was looking at Bev?

When Bev shifted and shook the boys out of their trance, Eddie breathed a small sigh of relief. Still, a ball of dread settled itself into him that day, because, even though he refused to put a name to it, he thought he had figured out why he was different from his friends. And that scared the shit out of him.

The clown was dead. The Losers Club had scars on their palms. Bev’s aunt, recently divorced, had come to Derry to raise her niece and to restart her life. Eddie got his cast off and stopped taking his placebos, except for the inhaler.

A few months after the blood oath, after enduring months of nightmares of the leper and the clown and confusion about himself, Eddie could admit within the confines of his own mind that he was gay. He also admitted to himself that he had the tiniest, slightest

(all-consuming)

crush on Richie.

He pushed his feelings to the side though. Richie was straight, and he was his best friend. He could ignore it. Besides, he wasn’t ready to tell anyone. He felt sick whenever he thought about the fact that he was gay. Telling them would be like telling his friends that he was It. Surely they would hate him. Maybe they wouldn’t beat him up, like the remnants of Bowers’ friends, but they wouldn’t be friends with him anymore.

They all had nightmares. They all had things that haunted them. It took Richie a while to reach out for help. When he did, he went to Eddie. A few months after their encounter with It, Richie showed up at Eddie’s window in the middle of the night. The terrified look on the jokester’s face was all Eddie needed to see. He knew what it was about. He let Richie in and noticed that he hadn’t even changed out of his pajamas to ride over.

“Hey Eds,” Richie chirped, an obviously fake grin plastered onto his face. “I noticed you’d been a little down at school, figured you could use a healthy dose of Richie Tozier to cheer you up.”

Eddie decided to pretend like he didn’t notice that Richie looked like he might burst into tears at any second. Instead, he climbed back into his bed and threw back the covers. “Don’t call me that.”

The two went to sleep at opposite sides of Eddie’s bed. Richie was still awake when he heard Eddie begin to snore lightly. He stared at the ceiling. It was blurry for two reasons. First, he’d taken his glasses off and sat them on Eddie’s bedside table. Second, he had tears in his eyes. Richie felt bad for not telling Eddie why he was intruding. He’d had the same nightmare that he’d been having since It. He’d gotten on his bike still shaking with fear, and somehow he’d ended up at Eddie’s.

After he heard Eddie’s light snores for a few minutes and was sure that the smaller boy was asleep, Richie wiped his eyes with his sleeve across his face. The tears had been there long enough that they’d stung, but he hadn’t wanted to draw attention to them when there was a chance Eddie would see. He stared at the ceiling and listened to the sounds Eddie made while he slept. He could feel himself relaxing. He was with Eddie, he was safe, and the nightmares weren’t real. If he had them again, Eddie would make sure that he knew that he was alright.

Richie felt his eyelids droop.

“EDWARD KASPBRAK! You’ve got five minutes to be up or I am coming to get you!”

Eddie jolted awake at the sound of his mother’s yell. He peeked at his alarm clock and saw that he was already ten minutes late getting up for school. He started to turn over and stretch, when he was very suddenly reminded that Richie was in his bed.

He was reminded by Richie’s arm thrown over his stomach and Richie’s face about to be crushed by his shoulder if he kept turning. He froze, and peered from the arm to the face of his friend. Richie wasn’t the prettiest sleeper. He was slack-jawed and drooling a little. Eddie wrinkled his nose. Still cute, a voice inside himself whispered. Still off limits, he told the voice snappishly.

“Richie,” he whispered, elbowing the Trashmouth. “Richie wake the fuck up!”

With effort, Eddie finally got Richie awake and the taller boy shoved on his huge glasses and slunk back through the window, going home to get ready for school. 

A tradition was formed then. Richie rarely let anyone into his home, but any night that Richie or Eddie needed comfort, they would spend in Eddie’s room. Sometimes they just listened to music on Eddie’s Walkman, and sometimes they talked about what was wrong in hushed voices so that Mrs. Kaspbrak wouldn’t hear. Every time, Eddie woke up first. Every time, Richie’s arm was thrown around his middle.

It was spring break during their sophomore year in high school when Richie got his first girlfriend. She wasn’t too bad, according to the rest of the losers, but Eddie couldn’t stand her.

Mary Windham was short, in their same sophomore class, and had light brown hair that she wore in a single braid down her back every day. She was loud like Richie, but in a more assertive way than a funny way. Eddie figured he was imagining that she gave him judgmental looks whenever he took puffs from his inhaler, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t wary of her still.

Eddie had only just come to terms with his crush on Richie a few weeks before Mary had come along. She only added to his brooding, and he felt like he would drown in his own self-pity if he didn’t talk to one of the losers about it soon. Of course, in order to talk to anyone about it, he’d have to tell them he was gay. He’d known he was gay for nearly three years, and he was feeling better about himself, but he was still nervous to tell anyone else. He thought maybe Beverly already knew; she kept giving him these sly grins when he looked at a cute boy for a second too long. Must be that “women’s intuition” thing that always let girls know when boys are up to something before they’re even up to something in the first place. He thought about telling Bill instead. Bill had been his best friend before Richie, after all. But he dismissed the idea when he realized that Bill would almost definitely talk about it to Stan and Bev. Not that there was anything super wrong with that. But he wanted everyone else to know on his own time.

So who would be a good listener, and not tell his secret to anyone else?

And when Eddie finally realized the perfect loser to confide in, he kicked himself for not realizing sooner.

By the time Eddie had come to the conclusion that he needed to vent, and decided on who to vent to, Richie and Mary had been dating for a week and a half. Eddie was actually quite proud of himself for not hurling in the lunchroom yet, seeing as he always sat beside Richie while Mary sat on his other side, her arm looped through his and looking up at him with a simpering smile.

Eddie had his last class with Mike. It was study hall, and the teacher always let them out fifteen minutes early. Mike and Eddie, never willing to leave campus without meeting up with the rest of the losers after the bell rung, would always go sit in a corner of the library. Sometimes they would do homework, and sometimes they would whisper back and forth.

Today, when Eddie and Mike settled into their corner, Eddie’s stomach was in butterflies. Mike had just opened his chemistry textbook when Eddie leaned across the table, anxiously rapping his fingers on it to get Mike’s attention. Mike looked up at him, surprised, with his large doe eyes.

“I need your advice about something,” Eddie whispered urgently. “But you can’t tell anyone – I’m fucking serious, man.”

Slowly, Mike closed his textbook. He crossed his arms over it and tilted his head attentively, waiting for Eddie to speak.

“I’m – fuck,” Eddie hissed. He wished his heart would stop beating so damn fast. He met Mike’s eyes, steeling himself. “I’m gay, Mike.”

Mike blinked slowly and nodded once. “Oh. Okay, Eddie.” Probably seeing Eddie’s look of concern, he quickly added, “I don’t have a problem with that, Eddie. If that’s who you are then that’s who you are. I can’t change being black any more than you can change being gay.”

Eddie gave a half smile. “Oh, uh – there’s one more thing, too. I –“ he paused “- I have a crush. On Richie.” Eddie buried his face in his hands, not willing to see the look on Mike’s face.

Mike was humming sympathetically, thinking about the situation. “Shit, Eddie. That sucks, what with him being with Mary.”

“And him being straight,” Eddie grumbled into his hands. He peeked through his fingers in time to see Mike shrug.

“Y’never know,” Mike said. “He could be into dudes.”

Eddie gave a disbelieving groan and Mike reached out and patted his shoulder.

“Hey, bud, it’ll be okay. This is Richie’s first relationship; he doesn’t even seem that into her.”

“He doesn’t?” Eddie squeaked hopefully.

“Nah,” Mike said reassuringly. “They’ll be done-zo within a week.”

The two sat in silence for a few minutes before gathering their things and preparing to go outside and meet the rest of the losers. Eddie’s stomach was in knots again when, as he started to walk toward the door, Mike grabbed his elbow and looked at him with sincere eyes.

“Eddie, I know you probably feel really self-conscious about all this,” he said, “but you can talk to me if you need to, okay? And I swear I won’t tell the other losers.”

Eddie felt warm at Mike’s words. He never could have anticipated being so accepted, and he was so so glad that he had gone to Mike. Eloquent, caring Mike that always made sure that every loser felt loved. He turned and hugged his friend quickly around the middle. The two traded a grin, and went outside to find the rest of their friends.

Mary Windham and Richie Tozier broke up exactly four days after Eddie told Mike about his feelings for Richie.

The losers, plus Mary, were at lunch when it happened. Mary had her arm looped through Richie’s, as usual, and Eddie was trying to ignore how much it aggravated him. Everyone was listening to Bev as she talked about her favorite actor.

“Look, you guys know I don’t swoon easy,” she said, her tone sounding like she was arguing even though nobody had said anything against her famous crush. “But Patrick Swayze has an ass that won’t quit and the man wears black like he owns the color.”

Everyone laughed, Bill playfully flicking a breadcrumb at Bev.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” Bev giggled.

Richie, leaning over the table, crooned, “Yes, Bevvy, nobody can deny that Mr. Swayze is the most fuckable human on the face of the planet.”

Everyone took pause, glancing around at each other and then at Richie, who shrugged.

“I would fuck anything interesting or pretty enough, I don’t discriminate because he has a dick,” he laughed, winking at the group.

They all laughed, and Eddie thought he might fall out of his chair in relief at the knowledge that Richie apparently liked men too and that the rest of the losers seemed to be so cool with it, but Mary was silent. She frowned up at Richie, wrinkling her nose.

“You’re a queer?”

Again, the table fell silent. Richie even stiffened, his gaze firmly off Mary.

“H-hey,” Bill said, his gaze hard on Mary. “Don’t talk to h-him like that.”

Mary glared back. “What? It isn’t my business if my boyfriend’s a fag?”

Bill and Eddie both stood up quickly. Stan was grabbing at Bill’s arm, trying to get him to sit back down, and Eddie’s fists were clenched at his sides. They both opened their mouths to speak, but Richie spoke first.

“Mary,” he said coolly, slipping his arm out of her grip and reclining back in his chair, “if you have a problem with me liking dick, why don’t you go suck one?”

“Excuse me?” she hissed at him, reaching to grab his arm. He slipped away from her grasp and straightened his glasses on his face, looking entirely unbothered.

“I said, Mary, dear, go suck a dick, you pompous bitch.”

Mary sputtered, but grabbed her things and stomped furiously away from the losers club. Bill had been dragged back into his seat by Stan, and Eddie now slowly sunk down, looking at Richie in wonder.

Eddie needed to tell the losers that he was gay.

It was all he could think about, for weeks now, ever since Richie had more or less told the group that he was bisexual. They had all been accepting. Nobody had even really talked about it after that. But wasn’t that kind of the problem? Eddie felt like he needed to talk about it because, even though he accepted himself a lot more than he used to, he was still working on it. He needed to be assured that he wasn’t sick or broken. He just had no idea how to open up to his friends about this.

Mike asked him every once and a while if he was okay, and Eddie just nodded. He felt constantly distracted. He was gay and only one person knew. Richie was bi and single and Eddie was even more aware of his best friend than he had been before. He was especially grateful that things were going alright at home for Richie right now, because he didn’t know what he’d do if Richie came through his window at this point.

One night, as the end of the school year was nearing, Mike invited the gang to come over and spend the night at his place. His grandparents were going out of town and didn’t want him to be alone for the night and had agreed to allow the losers to use the house, as long as there was no funny business. Mike had sworn that they’d be on his best behavior, and that Friday night all the losers were crowded in his living room.

Ben had brought movies to choose from: the Outsiders, Back to the Future, and Die Hard just to name a few. They ended up settling on the Outsiders, because it was just too appropriate. What better movie for a group of friends that called themselves the losers club to watch?

As Bill was putting in the movie, Mike stood up. “I’m gonna go make popcorn. Eddie, come with?”

“Sure, Mike,” Eddie agreed, tilting his head inquisitively. He got up from his spot on the couch beside Richie and followed Mike to the kitchen. As Mike got out several bowls and Eddie found the popcorn, Mike spoke.

“Eddie – if you’re ready – I think maybe you could tell everybody tonight.”

Eddie dropped the box of popcorn he was holding. “What?” he squeaked, stooping to grab the box.

“You don’t have to, obviously,” Mike said, turning his understanding eyes on his friend. “I just… well, I have a way that you could without having to bring it up out of nowhere. If you want.”

Eddie was quiet for a few minutes as they popped popcorn and filled bowls. Mike didn’t press further. Eddie did want to tell them. He couldn’t think of a way to do it himself. Maybe Mike could help. He reminded himself of how accepting they were of Richie, and looked up at Mike tentatively.

“Uh, Mike?”

“Yeah?”

“What did you have in mind?”

Mike grinned at him. “Do you trust me?”

Oh fuck. “Uh. Yes.”

“Let’s play truth or dare.”

It was after the movie was over, and after Richie and Bev had spent the past ten minutes talking about how hot the greasers were (Bev’s favorite, of course, was Darry, but Richie’s was Ponyboy). Mike had been the one to speak, and while the rest of the losers were either cautiously or excitedly agreeing, Eddie gave Mike a stern look. So this was his brilliant plan? Mike just smiled.

“I’ll go first!” Richie said excitedly, leaning forward in his seat beside Eddie, his hands on his knees. He looked around at them all like a fox picking a mouse to catch. Finally, he pointed enthusiastically at Stan, who grimaced immediately. “Staniel! Truth or dare?”

Stan looked like he was contemplating which way he’d prefer to die. He sighed. “Truth.”

Richie tapped his fingers against his chin dramatically. “Hmmmmm... Tell us, Stanley… Have you ever had any fantasies” Richie’s eyebrows wiggled mischievously “about anybody we know?”

There was a long pause. “Yes,” Stan growled, his eyes narrowed at Richie, who looked as if he was going to explode with elation.

“Oh my god, who?” Bev asked, bouncing as she sat criss-cross in the floor.

Stan leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest. His face was almost as red as the shirt Bill was wearing. “No way in hell I’m telling you horny fucks.”

“Your turn, Stan,” Mike said, grinning a bit.

“Ben,” Stan said. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Ben answered, looking proud of his choice.

Stan raised his eyebrows and thought for a moment. “Alright. I dare you to catch a chicken.”

The group exploded in laughter, which didn’t stop for the next half hour. Five minutes of that was getting Ben up and outside and to the chickens, fifteen of Ben running after angrily clucking chickens and being nearly lost from sight in the cloud of feathers and dust, and ten of the losers collapsing on each other as Ben caught a rather nasty-looking hen and was promptly pecked in the stomach. 

All in all, it was a hilarious experience and Ben was a good sport. He actually still looked proud of his choice and he had been laughing just as much as the rest of them. Mike had laughed the most, and had tried to give Ben tips on how to catch a chicken the entire time, but Ben hadn’t really been able to make them out through the raucous laughter.

When they got back inside and calmed down, it was Ben’s turn.

“Mike. Truth or dare?”

“Give me a dare, Ben.”

After thinking for a moment and whispering with Bev, Ben said, “I dare you to kiss Bill.”

Everyone giggled, and Stan, who sat in between Bill and Mike, stiffened. Eddie thought he might have seen a light blush on Stan’s face as well as Bill’s, but Mike didn’t seem bothered by the request. Mike scooted to sit between Stan and Bill. Bill looked at him shyly, but Mike just leaned over and pecked Bill chastely on the side of the mouth, then returned to his seat. Bill was blushing, but he laughed along with the rest of the group.

“Alright,” Mike said, looking around. Eddie already knew who he’d ask, before Mike’s gaze even settled on him. He could feel his stomach in knots. He could only guess at Mike’s intention, but he was pretty damn sure he knew what he was supposed to do. “Eddie! Truth or dare?”

Eddie looked at Mike nervously. Richie was bouncing excitedly next to him.

“Eddie Spaghetti! C’mon c’mon c’mon.”

Not looking at Richie for fear of exploding with nerves, Eddie gulped. “Truth.”

Mike burst into a large grin. Some of the losers – Bill and Bev, namely – had a look on their face like they could tell something was up but they didn’t know what. Richie seemed to be pouting that Eddie picked truth instead of dare and was saying something about how he needed to learn to live life on the edge.

“Alright, Eddie.” Mike sounded confident and sure of himself, but he looked at Eddie gently, silently reassuring him. “Do you like guys?”

You could’ve heard a pin drop. Eddie was absolutely certain that every loser could hear his heart pounding in his chest. Richie had abruptly stopped bouncing beside him. He could feel the eyes on him, and he could feel the tightening in his lungs and his hand went to his pocket, felt the inhaler there.

“Yeah.” He nodded, closing his eyes. “Mhm. I do. I’m gay, guys.” Eyes still closed, he fumbled for his inhaler and filled his lungs with the medicine, trying to imagine that it was confidence. He hesitantly opened his eyes.

Suddenly, Richie’s arms were thrown around him and hugging him so tight he thought he’d snap in half. The other losers crowded around and joined into their hug, cramming Eddie in the middle of the bunch. Eddie felt like his heart was going to burst and he was so happy that they hadn’t been as nonchalant with him as they were with Richie. He was glad that they could tell that this revelation meant a lot to him. They all laughed and cheered and he thought Bev’s happy screams were music to his ears.

“Eds, I’m so proud of you.”

It was a whisper, and he barely caught it in the noise; he wouldn’t have heard it at all, but it was whispered right into his ear and he twisted to look at Richie. Richie, who was looking at him with heavy emotion in his dark eyes and a huge smile and whose glasses were askew from being in a seven-person hug.

“You know I hate it when you call me that.”

The hug was breaking apart, but Richie still had an arm around Eddie and he used the other to rumple his hair. “I know, Eddie Spaghetti.”

Tag List: @sunnyuris @fuckin-richie 

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list!

[katiebrereton]

“Vegetarian” doesn’t have to mean healthy fruit and veg - Veggie fast food review

It’s pretty clear by now that “vegetarian” doesn’t always have to mean “healthy”. Thanks to fast food chains such as KFC and McDonalds, it is becoming easier than ever to indulge in a big, tasty *vegetarian* burger (and more!). 

Over the past year or so, there has been an evidently large increase in fast food vegetarian (and vegan) options. For example, in early 2019, Greggs introduced their vegan sausage roll as part of ‘Veganuary’, a UK campaign which encourages people to follow a vegan diet for the first month of the year. The vegan sausage roll instantly became a topic of discussion for thousands of people online, sparking debates between vegans, vegetarians and meat-eaters. Some argued the sausage roll was unnecessary (which is still very confusing for me - how could a product that meant more people could enjoy the brand be ‘unnecessary’?), whilst others, like myself, supported and loved it. In the same month, KFC launched their vegan burger which was also proven to be very successful. As the year went on, more and more fast food restaurants started introducing both vegetarian and vegan foods.

For me, any store or restaurant that does delivery or takeaway counts as fast food. While I’m a huge pizza fan, there are so many more options out there for us vegetarians. Whether you’re a burger or wrap kind of person, the following ranking of my top 5 veggie fast food options should help you determine what you need to try!

5. Burger King’s “Veggie Bean Burger”

The first time I tried Burger King’s veggie burger I really didn’t know what to expect. As soon as I got it I unwrapped it and dived in. The first thing I noticed was that the bun itself was rather flimsy so it was a little difficult to hold everything inside whilst eating it, however this wasn’t a huge issue as the burger was still edible (just missing a few shreds of lettuce and tomato by the end). The two bean burgers inside are accompanied by lettuce, tomato, cheese, mayo and ketchup, although the majority of the flavour definitely comes from the burger itself. It is very flavoursome with a hint of spice, however I think the letdown here is due to the quality of the lettuce and tomatoes - they don’t seem incredibly fresh but they don’t taste bad so I can’t really complain. Obviously this burger isn’t supposed to be a meat alternative so it is difficult to compare to other Burger King products (and is probably why it’s my least favourite out of the five I’m talking about today) but overall it is an enjoyable burger. If you prefer a vegetable filled crispy bite over ‘fake meat’ alternatives the Veggie Bean Burger is for you! This burger sells for £4.49 on it’s own, or £6.49 as a meal, which I personally think is slightly overpriced, especially in comparison to others like it from different fast food places. 

Overall rating: 7/10

4. McDonalds’ “Spicy Veggie Wrap”

Similarly to Burger King’s “Veggie Bean Burger”, this wrap is filled with crispy pesto goujons, surrounded by lettuce, red onion, tomato and mayonnaise. This is honestly the same concept as Burger King previously mentioned, just in the form of a wrap, however in my opinion this has a bit more flavour and spice to it. Although you do seem to get slightly more salad than goujon, I thoroughly enjoy it and think this makes the wrap more manageable and flavoursome. Practicality-wise the veggie wrap was much easier to hold and was better at keeping it’s contents actually inside than Burger King’s, which I can appreciate. One thing I did notice and like about McDonald’s wrap was that it also seemed to be quite filling which is always good, especially considering you’re only paying £1.99 for it on wrap of the day! If you want a side of fries and a McDonalds coke on the side (my personal preferences) it costs as little as £4.89. That’s only slightly more than what you’re paying for the burger on it’s own at Burger King, which is another reason why I prefer the McDonald's veggie option. I think it’s important to add that McDonalds also offers the same product in a burger bun, so if you prefer a burger over a wrap, you have that option too.

Overall rating: 8/10

3. Greggs “Vegan Sausage Roll”

Onto the first actual ‘fake meat’ product. I feel like I should start by disclaiming that I was never a massive fan of sausage rolls before turning vegetarian, but since trying Greggs’ vegan sausage rolls I think my life changed (not to be dramatic at all). They honestly do taste exactly like a regular sausage roll, so I’m not entirely sure how they’ve managed to convert me to a massive sausage roll lover, but I will say I am not complaining. For the price of just £1 you get a decent sized crispy sausage roll, which causes a lot less of a flaky mess than a regular one, might I add. I also found that the vegan sausage roll is less greasy than Greggs’ regular ones too, which is always a positive. It almost tricks you into thinking what you’re eating is healthier than it actually is, but again, always a positive! Overall I couldn’t really fault the Greggs vegan sausage roll at all - the only reason it’s not number one for me is because it’s more of a snack than an actual meal so it’s harder to appreciate so much.

Overall rating: 9/10

2. KFC “Zero Chicken Burger”

Arguably one of the closest-to-meat-tasting fast food burgers out there. I went into this after hearing so highly of it from pretty much every vegetarian I know. The burger comes alongside lettuce and mayo, so is honestly lacking on the salad quite a bit compared to the Burger King burger and McDonalds wrap. Although not going to lie, I do love a simple lettuce and mayo combo over something that's 80% salad and 20% ‘meat’. Considering I was going into this with such high expectations, the burger did not disappoint at all. I can confirm the rumours are true, it really does taste just like real chicken. It was crispy on the outside and soft on the inside; even texture-wise it was like eating an actual chicken burger.

The Zero Chicken Burger is £3.99 without sides or £4.49 with a drink, which I think is completely fair for the quality and size of the burger. If you’ve recently turned vegetarian and are missing real chicken, I couldn’t recommend KFC’s burger more.

Overall rating: 9/10

1. Nando’s “Halloumi and Mushroom Wrap”

Not to be basic or predictable but, yes, Nandos is my favourite place for vegetarian fast food meals. Particularly their halloumi and mushroom wraps, which might be cheating considering it’s not ‘fake meat’ or anything along the lines of Burger King’s Veggie Bean Burger or McDonalds Spicy Veggie Wrap. For me a massive bonus to the Nandos wrap is that you can order any side with it so you feel as though you are getting more value for money. For example the wrap with one regular side is £8.95 which is somewhat affordable and the portion sizes are generous, so for me it is worth it. The wraps are filled with halloumi and mushroom, chilli jam, topped with fresh lettuce and tangy yoghurt sauce, which adds a lot of flavour and overall just makes the wrap more interesting. I just really enjoy how Nandos has less standard/typical vegetarian foods like your classic fake chicken burger or vegetable wrap - they have more to offer which means they can cater for more people! If you’re going to try anything off this list, it has to be this. (and don’t be put off by the mushroom, I was never a big fan of mushrooms before trying it with the halloumi - it’s honestly amazing!).

[cereittanyprincess15]

Unfortunate hiatus (very long post)

Hello darlings, I’d like to have a not-so-quick word. I know I’ve been very scarce with posting since last year, I’m very aware of it in fact, and while I’ve still managed to get a few MEP parts out and one pretty long video since then it hasn’t been nearly enough compared to have much I wanted/needed to have finished. The thing is, I burnt myself out trying to finish my TTWU audition on time, it was so bad I was losing major amounts of sleep, and the day it was due I was actually running on fumes and only getting some rest in the hours it was rendering before I had to run to work because it ended the exact hour I started. It was really bad, but I got in and I was so happy, but because the burnout had begun I wasn’t able to summon that same amount of drive to finish the first round and ended up falling into a very deep depression.

I loathed myself for working so hard to get in and then dropping out before I could finish that first entry when everyone else was working so incredibly hard around me and that spot could’ve gone to someone else, someone who could’ve told their own story, and that depression mixed in with the burnout to create the biggest blackhole of inspiration I have ever experienced in my years as an editor. So I stopped editing for a while, and became what I hated the most: a deadline-missing unresponsive unreliable MEP letdown. 

I joined so many MEPs before the rp started that I was left with no drive to finish the parts I had left, and I felt so embarassed and hypocritacal in not finishing anything that I feared going up to the hosts to explain why I wasn’t done. If I had no intention of finishing the part because I lost interest I ended up lying because I felt they had waited so long, I should just suck it up and give them their part anyway, and if I wanted to finish my inspiration to actually sit down and work was still gone so I had to keep asking for time. I was disgusted by myself for letting my reputation, at least how I saw it, fall because I was becoming that awful type of person who disappeared once the deadline came around, and I wanted so badly to finish everything but no matter how long I regained my strength or how inspired I became by those really awesome parts I was looking so forward to I just couldn’t bring myself to work for longer than an hour or so if I was lucky.

That was last year, and so many people are still waiting on me. There are for certain MEPs I want to leave because I just don’t care enough anymore, and ones I want to finish, and while my friends were telling me to put my own feelings first and just leave the MEPs, I never could. Well, now I have to.

Last week I was downloading the last movies I needed for a HUGE multiship video I’m doing for a friend (who’s also been waiting ages for this and I am so thankful for her patience) and while I was away from my laptop my drive holding all of my movies decided to crash. I plugged it back in and it popped up after about ten minutes of it being so frozen that even my laptop was freaking out, and it appeared to be fine, until I tried to play a video. It disappeared from my computer list and the drive itself started to make a horrid clicking noise, and after a second of panic I unplugged the drive and checked the internet for an answer on my phone seeing as my laptop was also acting very very bad. 

Naturally, the sound was even worse than I’d expected. According to the internet, it could mean there’s a piece inside the drive that’s out of place, and the clicking was it possibly ruining my data. That, or the drive is already dead. It’s been unplugged since then and tonight I was able to bring it in to get it sent off just like the last time my drive broke. This time, instead of just agreeing on the expensive price and sending it off, the woman behind the counter told me she can’t do a thing with it until I bring in a receipt for the drive. That, and $1600. Then it’d be sent off to I’m guessing Toronto to get checked out, where there’s a chance that my data couldn’t even be recovered.

That was the last screenshot I took (back in January so there were tons more now) of how many movies I had and how much space I had left to show my friends when I told them I really had no more room. That’s just the movies, which I’ve bee collecting for a decade with almost all of my animation ones being in 1080p, with some rarer ones being my greatest pride of them all after years of searching. The rest of the stuff on that drive was my documents, including plans for videos and all my stories that I’ve been writing but not posting since gradeschool, all my pictures including ones of friends I no longer talk to, family, a lot of fanart I’ve collected, and gifts, all my music which is mostly on my laptop but there’s a good amount I deleted off here to make space, all of my downloads including my sister’s old videos that not even she has anymore, more gifts from friends that are no longer available online at all, videos I love and have been watching since 2006, and all my own videos that I’ve made since then as well. I have the vegas and AE files themselves on another drive to free up room and get it all in the same place, but my videos themselves I may’ve just lost. Completed ones, incomplete ones, random ones I made for myself, some animation projects I did for school, all the bits and pieces of old manips for really old projects, all of that might be gone now and after leaving the store knowing that it could be gone for good even if I had the money to send the drive off I spent the next hour or so crying alone in the car because of how frustrated I was.

I’ve heard the old ‘sometimes these things just happen, gotta move on’ spiel, I’ve heard it a lot over a ton of different subjects. But this was my past, 12 years of it, all collected into one place. If this stuff is gone I’ve lost so much that I’ve personally created and found joy in doing so, and I’ll never be able to recreate it or get it back. I find it impossible to just ‘move on’ from something like that, and it’s tearing at me so hard that I can feel my chest physically hurting.

So, now that this has happened, I’ve officially lost my inspiration. I’m taking a long break from editing now that I’ve lost so much of my material, and almost all of my non/disney collection, and will be withdrawing myself from most of the projects I’m in sans a few, which I will list in a bit. I have a mobile backup downstairs where I can get a good deal back, but most of those files are old and I don’t have the money or space to get a brand new drive to copy it onto and start my movies collection over again, nor do I have the energy. I have around 100 of those 753+ movies on my editing drive, and I still have all my shows, but that doesn’t really help a non/disney editor much if all she has is anime. 

I was hoping to open up my first rp contest this summer, so I could become more active with the community and make up for how little I participated in TTWU; I wanted so badly to be apart of the group, but I felt I didn’t deserve to speak to such awesome and talented people when I couldn’t give it my all, so I disappeared just like Jim and tried to let myself be forgotten. I wanted to make up for that with this new rp, and make more friends, but this had to hit me right as I was finalizing the details and now I just don’t have the energy to even think of starting it.

Things I’m leaving, I’ll message the hosts:

Girls Like Girls - Belle and Anya (halfway done, no masking)

Game of Survival - Helga and Tarzan (never started, lost inspiration)

Unhealthy Relationship - Gothel and Bernard (really lost inspiration)

Hit Me Baby - Tulio and Belle ft Louie and Jane (never started, unsure of deadline?)

Meteor Shower - Elsa and Peri (really wanted to do but never started)

Over the Sea - Jane and Pocahontas (cancelled I think?)

Body Electric x Control - JD and Rapunzel (never started, lost Heathers)

I Took a Pill in Ibiza - Hollina (never started)

Young Love - Miguel and Sinbad (never started)

Things I’m finishing (if the hosts still let me):

The Heart Wants What it Wants - Ariel and Lottie ft Eric (halfway done, no masking) 

Perfect Ruin - Aurora, Tulio, and Jim (almost done, haven’t lost anything) 

Gasavages - Phoebus and Dimitri/Peter (still fixing up to personal perfection) 

Gasavages - Mulan and Esmeralda (never started) 

Dirty Dancer - Felicie and Camille (halfway done, lost inspiration) 

Ghost Lights - Jane and Mulan ft Eris (gunna talk to host about it) 

Personal projects I need to finish:

That multiship video (only lost those final movies, have lower quality ones on mobile drive just in case, everything else is on editing drive)

All my collabs are on hold unless the other person wants to just cancel them considering what happened, granted I only have collabs with two people but still

All my requests are still written down and are doable but now I have to rely on what I have left and screenshot sites so that unnecessarily complicates making them

All my MEPs have no deadlines now seeing as I have parts in all of them and I’m obviously not going to be finishing them anytime soon, either way the deadlines all passed last year so it’s not like setting new deadlines will matter right now. I feel so bad about having to walk off of so many considering they’ve waited so long for me, but I don’t want to lie to anyone any longer and keep them waiting on me. I never wanted to be so unreliable but I ended up being a real shithead when it came to deadlines, so maybe I deserve this as karma. Either way, this blog probably won’t have many additions to it in the near future unless a miracle happens and I get my drive fixed, but I won’t be holding my breath. Maybe now I’ll get the chance to work more with Teen Titans again and do some anime videos, but that’ll only be after this sadness wears off.