#huge callout about my works in progress

[thehollowestknight]

I'm gonna deeply anger some people I otherwise hugely respect by reblogging this but goddammit hear me out on this. Understand that this is coming from a socdem and syndicalist.

Is it deeply and grossly unfair to women - and leftist men and nbs, but mostly women - to have to deal with this? Oh, goodness, yes, absolutely. Yall deal with enough as it is.

HOWEVER. This is where we run into the is/ought problem; just because it's deeply unfair doesn't mean it's not a problem that actually exists and needs to be reckoned with. And yes, it absolutely is.

At some point one has to listen to the overwhelming refrain of "I feel vilified for who I am" and stop denying it's a thing at all or going "skill issue, I deal with that daily," and start pondering what to do about it.

You cannot rage that white men overwhelmingly break conservative and even men of color are starting to slide that way (Latino men straight up flipped red this time around)... and then upon hearing why, getting directly told that it's a you thing repeatedly by various people who have been sucked into and subsequently escaped the chud vortex, and shrug and say "Not my problem."

Pretending that it's just a few people venting in private or it's all TERFs is the peak of ostriching. It's willful ignorance. This has been a thing since the 60s or 70s or so, and a major societal trend. And! Where do you think the TERF ideology stems from anyway? Or the struggles that AMAB nonbinary people experience in being excluded from queer spaces? Could it possibly be that it's a perfectly natural progression from demonizing men to demonizing maleness? That particular call is coming from inside the house. TERFs are inevitable as long as this particular seed remains planted.

Related to this incidentally is the issue that rehabilitation seems to be dead. Once someone's gotten bamboozled to the right, anyone who gets out of it gets viewed with suspicion at best for the rest of their lives and is more likely subject to mass callouts and attempted cancellations forever. Once anyone left of center has decided you are bad, there is literally nothing you can do to fix that.

I know it fucking sucks. Again, it is grossly unfair to ask an oppressed class to give a single shit about a group that includes the majority of their oppressors. And yet! The ones who either don't fall to right-wing bullshit, or fall in and escape, have been loudly telling you that not doing so is costing you deeply. Again. Is/ought. It is not the way things should be, but it is the way things are, and no amount of theory or ideological orthodoxy is going to change that.

If this isn't reckoned with you're just going to keep seeing more and more male voters in minority groups slide rightward. The current course is backward, not forward. What's being done now is not working.

Please. Think about it.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[luckpages]

＊ mack. she/her. 29. + discord available to mutuals !! - other blogs: @raveneques

one. this is an independent, private, and selective blog for 𝙲𝙰𝚂𝙷 𝙱𝙴𝙽𝙽𝙴𝚃𝚃, an original charactr &. original story based on the weird &. wild west, but compatible with most wild west / cowboy media, such as rockstar's red dead redemption 2. this character is still a huge work in progress !! thank you for your patience &. for reading the rules.

two.  this blog is private with activity ranging from medium to low. i will rarely follow first unless we are friends ( or mutuals on other blogs ). i will not follow writers under the age of twenty-one. &. ask that you please do not interact with my posts unless we're mutuals. i do not associate with people who are ( or are in support of ) racists, sexists, homophobes, islamophobes, anti-blacks, zionism, a p3do, or anyone writing incest. i will support a callout post if the individual in question is clearly toxic and harmful to the community.

three.   i format my replies using bold text, italics text, double spacing, small text, and special text. if this bothers you, or if you are unable to read my replies, please let me know. i do read rules before i follow, but i am also quite forgetful. mistakes might be made, so please be patient with me.

four.  i will soft block if i feel my level of interest, enthusiasm &. effort to interact is not matched by my writing partner. you may follow again if you like, but after a second offense i will hard block you. i tend to avoid blogs that chiefly post negative ooc content.

five.  memes are the ideal way to fast track in character interactions. i also encourage you to reach out via dms or discord for plotting. my style of plotting consists of sharing endless information about our characters until we come up with a way they might cross paths, or similarity they share that might help them form a connection.

six.  i am always open to exploring dynamics with my muse. if an idea comes to you, feel free to share it with me and we’ll see what we can work out. this blog is considered multi-ship, but dynamics of a romantic or sexual nature will not be written without discussion ooc. nsfw might appear in headcanons or in a one-off answer, but will never written with partners on the dash. if a thread is headed this direction, it will fade to black.

[monoghosttv]

PINNED

My name is Chryz! (They/Xe/He) Eng, (El) Esp

Mexican mestizo | Androdyke | Occasionally a dog

This is my main account though you can follow my art only account over here @chryzocyon. This blog is +16!!!!

I post about my interest mostly, as well as funny posts once in a while.

Current interest:

Pet/Dog care, training, and breeding

Original characters

Ttrpgs

Human psychology

Hopefully I can get into dog clothes making and fursuit making soon

Here's some other links:

My personal webbed site (Work in progress!)

My portfolio

My comms

Some other stuff to know:

I think if you actually care about dog vs cat discourse you are incredibly annoying and petty.

That being said I'm like that with most discourse. I hate how nuanced topics are reduced to internet black and white pettiness, not a huge fan and will probably block you if I see you reblog a bunch of it for my own sanity

I am generally wary of callout posts

[flezhleaf]

I doubt that anyone is going to read this.

Hello, Jasper Here, I want to address my Behavior especially back in August-Now

I am ashamed of My Past behaviors.

I acknowledged that the things i was doing wasnt right.. but Semi-Abusive..

ive been working on myself on Twitter and had made some amazing Friends!!

Its nice that im able to return here!

Which the First part was cutting off the People who cared about me. Including Cj.

The Main reason why ive cut people off is either they were Zionists, Groomers, Racists, Abusers, Or Ive Cut you off for no reason at all(Which is due to having multiple Depressive episodes)

Now, Do I regret cutting My Former Friends(Including an Ex-Irl Friend) Off?

Kinda.

Ive gained something… to the point i barely trust anyone outside my friends circle. Ive been through Relationships involving Me Hurting the person in the Relationship, In fact I was called out by one of my exes because ive blatantly told them that I didnt care anymore, Which is partially True. We are now on Semi-Neutral terms.

The next section included me Defending a Transphobe. Ive cut that Terf off for being an Open Zionist. They also Supported the CCP While the CCP Is Committing Genocide against the Uyghur People.

The Third Section is the Documents ive made. The majority of them were during depressive Episodes. Again like the first section, I thought calling myself out was Justifiable at the time.

The Fourth Section Took place At Halloween Last Year. Ive Posted A Now-Deleted Callout Post on Adam Katz for Having an Israeli Flag in his Bio. I didnt know that Adam was Jewish, Which I was Told that Adam was infact Jewish. That was a couple minutes after the Callout post. Adam Had addressed this, and Changed His Bio. People Have been Blaming Me for Adam Getting Harassed, Which My Mutuals were mixed on it. Some of them thought that pointing it out was justifiable at the time, While the other people told me that Ive shouldve posted it in the First Place. Afterwards Adam had received so much harassment to the point he deleted Twitter and Privated his personal Instagram. People were Justifiably Accusing me of My Moot of Sending Our Fanbases to Attack Adam.

Thats not the Case. Because Last Month, The Entire II team was attacked and Harassed for Releasing III 18 During Strike Week. Some of the Team was Aware of the Strike at the Time. The OSC Had the Audacity to Attack The II Team over the Release of the episode. Which Lead me to make a Huge ass Rant about the OSC. The Points in my Rants Still Stand By.

I Sincerely apologize to the II Crew, Especially Adam, For getting Harassed because of a Genuine Concern i had back in October 2023.

The Final Section Is The Future with My Platforms, And the Progress I was making.

I havent got Therapy Yet, But thats being processed. I’ve Apologized to Mostly Everyone that ive hurt Within 2022-23. And Ive Applied for Multiple Jobs thanks to a Job Coach. Hell i had my first interview last month!! And Im still in process for disability. Ive Been Sober from Self Harm for Almost a Week, and Im slowly but steadily Realizing Who I really am.

Hello, Im Jasper, Im Transmasc-Genderfluid Bisexual-Demiromantic Objectum. And I go by They/Them Pronouns!

Thanks for Letting me reflect on my past behaviors and Im showing Signs of improvement.

Stay Safe Everyone, Goodnight

[thecursivej]

Ooooh is Biden about to rope the repubs into some bipartisan shit? Please do.

What is Republicans huge issue with capping insulin? Truly? Who does it harm? Billionaires still get billions.

Oooooh, how interesting to compare how much perscription drugs are with the affordable care act compared to other countries.

I just know Kamala is getting a leg work out for the years.

HELL YEAH LET'S EXPAND HEALTH CARE PLEASE (me eyeing my parents health insurance expiring when I turn 26)

Ooooh, women's health research?! Okay Jill, get it girl!! That's fucking DR. BIDEN to y'all.

Yes, please crack down on rent increases. I want to be able to move out of my parents house when I graduate (and I'm in motherfucking GRAD SCHOOL).

(Had to pop out so I missed some but here's more thoughts) Who the hell keeps screaming about the U.S. Marine Corp?

MTG Screaming at Biden was a lot dawg.

Mmmm, good use of a pause to establish the importance of his next statement about what his predecessor said in face of a shooting that happened in January in Iowa.

YES. LET US GET UNIVERSAL BACKGROUND CHECKS PLEASE.

How the hell does taking weapons of war away from civillians an infrignement of the 2nd amendment? Can someone truly explain that to me? I really want to know.

Oh shit, are we about to get a ceasefire statement?

Nope, getting statements about bringing the hostages home (which is fair and needs to be done).

YEAH CAN WE GET AN IMMEDIATE CEASEFIRE!? PLEASE!? Israel DOES have the responsibility to protect Palestinians. The words you're looking for is "Immediate Ceasefire" Mr. President.

We don't just need a fucking pier for humanitarian assistance; we need a GODDAMN CEASEFIRE, JOSEPH.

Netanyahu has already proved that he doesn't give a flying fuck about innocent Palestinians. Telling him to simply "let humanitarian aid through" won't do shit. Why not stop giving them weapons and money?

Okay, two-state solution line, but how about...CEASEFIRE!?

Ayiyi. Now we're discussing Houthis and Iran, but we aren't getting anymore of Palestinian aid.

Is America rising tho? Are we really? Because us 'normal' folk are suffering a lot.

Lets not ban TikTok then, okay? Like, what is China gonna do to influence me that the actions of congress haven't already influenced me on? I'm thiiiis close to anarchy, and not cause of China, Joseph. Because of the U.S. itself.

Oh now we ending cancer? Am I the only one who feels that that came out of left field.

Oh thank god, the end.

I do have to admit that him teasing republicans is fucking hysterical. The callout to Lindsey Graham cracked me the fuck up.

I feel like the soul of our nation is being thrown around like a hot potato tbh.

Ayoo where's Dwight when you need him? Shout out to Scranton, PA.

This congress is making me feel like goddamn John Adams in 1776 the Musical.

They're really about to make me run for fucking office at this goddamn point.

IDK who the woman sitting next to MTG is, but I fucking LOVE her.

We're always too young until we're too old. (Oof, that feels poetic tbh).

I really wish Biden would step back and let a younger more progressive candidate take on the Orange Man(TM). Frankly I wish the Orange Man(TM) was lost in a desert somewhere, but here we are.

CAN WE GET THE WEALTHY PAYING THEIR FAIR SHARE IN TAXES LIKE, IDK, YESTERDAY!?

Lots of good rhetoric used in this speech, though. Like damn. It's a lot of good use of audience relation, ethos, hella pathos, and good connections to ALL of the U.S.

Alright. We're done. It's over.

So. As I guessed, there was no call for an Immediate Ceasefire. Disappointing. But not surprising. My major issue with Biden is the ongoing support of Isr@el. Biden MUST call for an immediate ceasefire, otherwise he's completely lost the Arab American vote, and a good chunk of the youth vote (if not a majority/all). I hate that we're having 2020 pt. 2: Electric Boogaloo, and I hate that third party votes will not be counted. I hate this two party system.

But I do believe that this country can be better. I believe this country can be a safe place for growth, creativity, research, a safe place to fucking LIVE. I believe this country can be a better place. And I can't make myself give up on it until I have no other choice.

So, there was that SOTU. It was rhetorically very good, but I find it lacking with a path forward.

SOTU - 2024

Well, I'm forcing myself to watch the State of the Union while I grade speeches, so I figured I'd record my reactions and thoughts here.

Do I hope for the words "Immediate Ceasefire"? Absolutely. Will we get them? Looking at the track record, probably not. But I remain optimistic because otherwise I'd be six feet under by now; ANYWHO here is a list of my reactions/thoughts/general feelings of the evening's watch.

I do want to give a point of clarity: I technically am identified as a democrat; truly, I'm a socialist, but seeing as how the U.S. is stuck in this godforsaken two-party-system, that is where I am. Though both sides have me feeling very french-revolutionary-esque.

Of course the first thing I see if MTG rifling through her purse on screen. I quite literally despise her.

AP is discussing Ukraine's need for weapons and funding; I would truly rather us align with Ukraine than Isr@el. I will stand unapologetically firm for Palestine and Ukraine.

Who is actually in the cabinet? I know Blinken, Garland, and Buttiegeg. Damn, wish he was running again. Would rather have him than Biden.

How insane is it that the Sec. of Defense didn't even let the White House know that he had to go in for surgery because of cancer. Like, that's just bonkers to me.

Republicans truly look like fucking robots right now. No warm greetings, no hellos, simple nods.

Republicans out here wasting fucking time with that impeachment of Mayorkas. Like how about we house the homeless populations with the money they wasted on this circus.

Oh funky fresh look at the Ultra-Mormon(TM) Mitt Romney.

MTG with that stupid fucking MAGA hat on is just... disgusting. Like this bitch is crazy.

Okay Joe, speed it up down the fucking aisle please. I got papers to grade.

Lowkey Joe looks like he might have had a five-hour energy drink with that big-ole look in his eyes.

I do appreciate that Joe still smiles and is kind to MTG. She truly doesn't deserve it.

Okay this is getting just a wee bit too monarchy for me.

MTG holds up a button saying "Laken Riley..." (couldn't read the rest). Riley was a 14 year old girl murdered by a man who was an illegal immigrant of venezuela, and instead of handling this situation with grace, empathy, and love; MTG and others seem to be capitalizing on her death to push their anti-immigration rhetoric.

Okay, cool selfie skills Joe, but let's get on with it.

ALSO HOW IS JOE BIDEN GONNA BE SO IN DEPTH WITH TECH AND "Savvy" WITH IT WHEN MOTHERFUCKER WANTS TO BAN TIKTOK!? Hello?!

BERNIE AND RAPHAEL! I feel like I haven't seen these guys in 10 million years.

Oh thank god we're starting.

Aww the little hand shake thingy he does with Kamala makes my heart happy.

Did Joe just yell "tony"?!

Wow, even got some republicans clapping for him (probs not a good thing but here we are)

Okay, good bit of humor at the top; and a throwback to the 40s. Funky fresh.

Yeah we ain't living in ordinary times for damn sure.

Interesting point of democracy being attacked here in the U.S. AND Internationally. (Mentions Ukraine and Putin; no word on Gaza yet).

Someone busted out a Ukrainian flag and shook it; rock on.

OH SHIT HE GOT MIKE JOHNSON TO CLAP!

Appreciate the insistance that the U.S. won't send troops to UKR.

Good use of Reagan to connect with the Repubs; and compare to the predecessor (aka Tr*mp).

Mike Johnson nodding instead of clapping about the predecessor comment, trying to save his ass in Orange Man's eyes.

Welcome to NATO, Sweden!

If there is one thing that should connect Democrats and Republicans; it's hatred for Putin. Yet there's a mix of Repubs standing in agreement and sitting to back up the predecessor's comment on Putin doing "whatever the hell he wants"

Talking about Jan 6. What breaks my heart? My parents still believe it wasn't an insurrection. Yikes on Bikes for me.

The line "You can't love your country only when you win" hits hard and even got Mike Johnson to applaud in agreement.

Foreign AND Domestic. Need a hefty focus on that with the right-wing republican group (@ MTG, Gaetz, Cruz, etc.)

Discussing IVF in Alabama; good connection to the overturning of Rowe v. Wade. It sucks that Republicans HAVE THE POWER to protect IVF nationally but shot the damn bill down not even a week ago.

ABORTION IS A HUMAN RIGHT. BODILY AUTONOMY IS A HUMAN. FUCKING. RIGHT. (@ The Missouri Senators who support taking away bodily autonomy).

WOMEN AREN'T WITHOUT ELECTORAL AND POLITICAL POWER; WE ABOUT TO TURN UP IN FORCE MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Bring back the strats from the 1900s; time to use our power and go bonkers.

Someone get Joe a glass of water please. Motherfucker looks a bit parched and keeps coughing. I get that when my throat goes dryyy

Can Biden not restore RvW? Can he not by an executive order make RvW the law of the land already?

Revisiting COVID's start from 2020 (Next week is the four year anniversary since the global pandemic).

PFFT idk who just yelled "LIES" but that was comical AF.

Well, the pandemic still controls a big part of our lives... so...don't agree with that shit.

Man, everyone sitting-and-standing must be getting a HELLA calf work out.

Sure, unemployment is down and new jobs are built; but corporate greed is quite literally killing us. Can Congress or Biden do something, damn it?!

Are we beginning to feel it, though? Are we feeling good economics? I doubt we are.

Good job pointing out how both parties have failed to buy american products, but how this admin has established that.

There's a good two rows of Republicans who stand in applause; but the rest just... sit there. Like robots. It's freaky as fuck.

Joe is actually doing pretty great with the flow of this speech. Only a couple of stumbles, but overall pretty gucci. (He'd get a 9/10 on delivery in my public speaking class).

God these fuckers are really gonna make me run for office at this damn point.

Removing poisonous lead pipes... but there's still a water crisis in Flint, Biden. Like, what the fuckeroni do you mean?

Yes, let's invest in family farms; lets stop selling our farmland (especially in Missouri) to foreign countries (@ China buying up TONS of Missouri Farmland).

I love that the UAW president is here, because he straight up is my kind of people. Dude wears eat-the-rich shirts and calls out the unethical-ness of billionaires.

UAW President pointing to Biden saying "It's you!"; nah dawg, it's you Sean.

MIDDLE CLASS DID BUILD THE COUNTRY AND UNIONS BUILT THE MIDDLE CLASS MOTHER FUCKERS!!!

Yes we get back up but right now...we might be getting more french revolutionary-esque if y'all don't stop PLAYING WITH OUR LIVES.

Oh jesus not the 4-more-years chants.

Oh now we talking about the future

YES PLEASE END TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMIES.

Says he's not anti-corp; but points out how trickle down economics has only helped the wealthy.

Yeah, how the fuck does it hurt the wealthy to pay just a weeee bit more in taxes? Like dawg, what are you gonna do with another million? What's the point?

Ooooh is Biden about to rope the repubs into some bipartisan shit? Please do.

What is Republicans huge issue with capping insulin? Truly? Who does it harm? Billionaires still get billions.

[michyeosseo]

2020 creator wrap: favorite works

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

been tagged thrice so speaking as my tumblog’s biggest fan, let’s add that up, alright? this will be a pick per month + short description on why i the heck i kept opening ps for them (ಥ _ ಥ)

january - with the lyrics of her hopes in song form, a light-filled gongju & eunhee set was how i started this year. appropriate, in retrospect.

february - black dog sans forgetica. unlike other high school dramas, there wasn’t much fanfare about this because instead of focusing on a teen and their dream, we meet ko haneul who is just trying to meet the standards of a permanent teaching position. unglamorous yet wrung out quiet, reassuring tears.

march - an entry for kww featuring hwansaengdam!han yeri. lack of vidding skills aside, i don’t think i did this a disservice because i thought hard about this category connection-wise. 

april - unabashed eunjung × somin lovin’. listen, that caption i used is all the context one needs to hear about my melo suits me sentiments.

may - had qingpingle been a story about and for danshu & huirou, maybe the serenade part of the title won’t be a detestable lie™. started drafting this with affection but as the series arduously went on, can’t remember anything else besides Spite. no one gets peaceful joy out of watching that terror. (yes, this single-handedly took me out of my cdrama game for most of the year, besides my wasted nights of reading the source novel + getting a 4k copy for giffing.) deleted that without looking back because i do not want to promote this empty calligraphy to anyone. the only justice here is the increased potential for jiang shuying to receive tons of period drama casting offers from now on.

june - today in diary of an ahjumma spy, mvp misoon brought post-interrogation ice cream. neither my sharpest set nor the one with the best colouring but a glimpse of their shared experience over the years.

july - korean meryl streep moon sori has countless of gold dialogues in her directorial debut, the running actress, but the pretty argument is my winner. (you had the license for this but never bothered to subtitle, netflix? whyyyyyyy?)

august - birthday month = blaring homoerotic subtext. i redid this off a simpler version i tweeted. united effort to accomplish her gasping is more like it.

september - jein writernim, i swear i am not hung up the way other misty viewers are/were but mawma....... you had your synopsis that should not have arrived at that ending. dropped this about halfway through and out of the blue years later dreamt about the proper eunjoo comeback to hyeran’s life a la the handmaiden’s “my savior who came to ruin my life.” gosh, her power.

october - lovedrunk, timeless lesbian pining. high art.

november - i have not watched a park minyoung drama since *checks notes* that sorry excuse of a sageuk i do not wanna discuss here ever but for miss goddess to hand me slice-of-life about a cellist coming back to her hometown with a guy and a gal crushing on her since high school? signed, sealed, delivered, i’m yours.

december - right from the start, i made this weekender analogy — five children : wolgyesu tailor shop; once again : samgwang villa. the vibes was off in week one and i thought that was the end of that. but faced with a kim sunyoung-jin kijoo paired as at-odds-at-all-times aunt and eldest niece and it’s a presently losing battle with my frenemy creative team. humor me some more and actually land this all the way.

bonus & those i’m tagging under the cut

extracurricular × villain by stella jang

no ragrets i pulled an all-nighter for this pun greeting

practically the entire content of my two other active sideblogs @georgiousburnham & @lolacoasters where y’all can find me whenever the main queue here runs empty

tagged by @drivingsideways @melonatures @ohyangchon ♡

tagging @onaperduamedee @lonely-night @captalnlaika @jingyans @dramaintherain @waegashi-tofu @aheartandashirt @cuddlybitch

[cipheramnesia]

You're a disgusting being for interacting with the monster that is dead-dyke, I'll stab you both if I ever see in real life, know that

I figured I'd just publish this so anyone who wants to can see how fucked up call out posts are. Actually sending me a death threat because I did more than zero fact checking on a call out that's as fake and full of shit as every call out.

On a related note, in my research travels I found what I can only describe as a call out subculture. In essence, a loosely organized group who seem ferociously committed to making sure every single call out they find gets pushed and maintained. This is pretty interesting because it's a kind of resurgence of purity culture, a policing of language and sex that's done under the guise of being progressive or protective, when the reality of it all is oppression of outsiders.

It's not a huge surprise that they often particularly target marginalized people or anyone who shows support to marginalized people. Or, weirdly, seem to be able to suss out someone being part of a disenfranchised social group. For example, the above threat is also antisemitic. I don't bring up my background much, but sometimes it feels like they just... know.

And in a broader sense, I also see a trend of paranoia about sex or language being treated as something profane. My joking post about my neovagina is a good example, it being tagged NSFW or similar literally hundreds of times. I'm baffled and this seems like a good time to bring it up. It's a humorous post with no content that would rate higher than a pg-13 movie rating other than maybe some curse words. Yet it's out there being tagged like it should be 18 and over.

Which brings me to a strange tentative hypothesis that there's some sort of nebulous connection between these types of purity police and radical feminists, which would suggest they spring from a shared authorian or fascist source. And before you dismiss it as overly generalized, let's look at the facts.

Both of them share a use of progressive language designed to make it appear as if they're providing positive resources. However, they also demand uncritical allegiance. If you find any fault with their reasoning, you become immediately treated as a threat. Consider how radfems treat the concept of masculinity, and look to Judith Butler for how quickly they turned agaisnt someone who critized them - including going so far as to take an essay Butler wrote against pedophilia, and selectively pull quotes making it look like Butler was pro-pedo. Now, guess what every single purity police call out post claims? Yeah. It's designed to try to override any reason, and as you can see above, it works. Someone has decided they'd rather commit a transphobic, antisemitic hate crime over the simplest amount of review.

So they have that going on, a kind of low key recruitment to encourage violence and unthinking obedience as opposed to critical thinking. The other aspect is they are both obsessed with purity. Obsessed with having an unblemished legacy of absolutely unimpeachable, perfect behavior. With authoritarians this generally manifests in being able to show a spotless lineage, showing that you unfailingly support the party and its beliefs at all moments of your life, public or private. In radfems, it manifests in their opposition to kinky sex, sex work, devaluation of any woman who may like a man, etc. And for the call out and purity groups, it manifests as that you cannot ever have misspoken online, had an opinion which deviates from the modern accepted norm, never have done anything wrong in all your online history, because they will follow it back as far as possible, and pull something from ten years ago or more just to proclaim how terrible you are in present. Or to use a different example, I remember reading another callout which claimed the subject had got a bottle of champagne after a big fundraiser for rent or some such. And let me tell you talk about puritanism. Did you know you can get a bottle of champagne for ten bucks? Making it seem like someone is a monster for spending three cups of Starbucks on a small celebration is beyond fucked up, it's disingenuous bullshit.

So, yeah, it seems like a leap, but the devil of this is literally the details. The details which aren't included in a call out, the manipulation of language in a call out, the sneaking in of false accusations disguised as "proved" with sketchy screen shots. The demand of unthinking allegiance. The suspicious focus only on marginalized people.

My dear purity police people, my call out culture fellows, your true colors are showing.

(yes you may reblog this, in fact I encourage it, but as usual please be sensible and don't send the asker anon hate, or anything worse - we don't do that, just block or ignore them)

[three--rings]

So I read your post “On Callouts, Triggers, and Problematic Content”, and I wanted to say that it resonated with me. I’ve been there, being whole-cloth canceled for being “problematic”, and being accused of personally, morally agreeing with (or straight up doing) the problematic things in my fic, and honestly the harassment that came after (even after I’d apologized) still causes me anxiety even now. I think I’m in the same place now where seeing people get canceled for having morally impure thoughts / creating impure art really bothers me. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I appreciated the post, it really clearly conveyed some of the things I’ve been feeling regarding it.

Yeah, I’m glad that post is one of my most popular.  The incident I describe in it was really small, just a small niche blog making fun of a single post I made, but, I felt like it was illustrative of a wider phenomenon.

I have, however, experienced VERY painful condemnation, cancelling, and banning for expressing my opinion.  Prior to returning to tumblr for YOI fandom, I spent a lot of time on a fannish website/forum where I was very active, made what I thought were a lot of friends, and generally had a very strong sense of community.

Except one day I replied to a comment thread posted by another active user, in which they expressed that they thought some of the reaction of a particular fandom was overblown in regards to an event on a show.  The criticism of the show was on social justice grounds: this plot development is sexist and racist.  The people in that thread expressed the feeling that the current brouhaha was an overreaction.  The people in the thread were mostly women and included POC, so we were basically saying we didn’t think it was particularly offensive personally.

For saying such, we were all banned from the community with no warning and no opportunity to give explanation or make amends.  I literally made one single comment saying I thought some of the arguments about sexism were flawed (I didn’t mention race) and I was banned from a community I’d been an active participant in for years for being sexist and racist.  

It’s hard to really convey how much this upset me.  I’m disabled, and my internet life is a major-to-only way I have to socialize, so being suddenly cut off from my main daily social outlet was a huge blow.  It sent me into a significant depression for at least a month or so. 

In retrospect, what I find so infuriating, other than just waking up and finding myself blocked from posting suddenly, is that it was one instance of disagreeing with the perceived “approved” progressive opinion which was immediately punished by ostracization.  We were told that by expressing our opinions we were creating a hostile discussion environment.  However no one actually tried to discuss it from an alternate viewpoint.  In a discussion forum, no one would discuss it, instead private complaints were supposedly made to the admins who banned us without even knowing the fandom we were discussing.  Simply disagreeing with a social justice oriented criticism was a sin great enough to be lifetime banned, in the name of safe space.  (Nevermind the people being banned were members of the affected groups.)

I have not talked about this incident much here for a lot of reasons.  Partly because the memory is still painful, though less so now.  Partly because I at least used to have people on here who knew me then.  But I don’t want to talk about the specifics of either community or fandom, because then it becomes all about that. 

But yes, there’s a reason I remain very skeptical of purity culture and callouts.  I hope to always work against racism and sexism and homophobia and exclusionism both online and in RL, but I try not to join bandwagons and pile-ons.   Discussion, pointing out offensive mistakes, etc, are to be encouraged.  But the answer is not groupthink and creating a more and more rigidly patrolled, constantly shrinking “in-group” of sufficiently pure woke-ness.

And, the long-term effects of my experience, for me, have been a greater reluctance to throw myself into communities or to get too attached to people and places online.  I still engage, but with a certain distance.  I do my thing in my space, where I am in control. 

[puppy-phum]

Fic Writer Interview Meme

thank you for tagging me @hils79 ♥ this is a great way to avoid writing my pingxie wing au which i currently struggle with bc am editing it into a completely new shape :D it’s exhausting but am making slow progress~

name: vish or vishie. won’t even advertise my irl name when it comes to fic writing haha

fandoms: so many more than i’ve ever gotten to write for. i am simply very slow at writing and the stuff i get into is way too many so... yeah. the most i’ve written for are BTS, The Untamed and now DMBJ. the list for fandoms i’d love to write for is endless but currently at least Guardian is very high up there. i keep having ideas but writing? not as much. 

two-shot: i wrote this one two-shot back when i was still writing fanfics in finnish for this one youtuber group lol. it was supposed to be a oneshot but it got super sad so i made it happier with a continuation later on. 

most popular multi-chapter fic: uuhh i’d say it’s my BTS abo fic My Lungs for You to Breathe which is currently at 98k words and 18 chapters but which i haven’t updated in almost a year :D idk if it will ever get to the end but i have enjoyed spending time with it. (Statistics:  Subscriptions: 227 Hits: 11718 Kudos: 461 Comment Threads: 89 Bookmarks: 153) 

actual worst part of writing: uuuhhh it’s so hard to name one currently? trying to get things out like i want them to and still sounding coherent? figuring out words that sound good but also make sense? idk. i love writing but these days i’ve been very stuck and insecure about it :/

how you choose your titles: i throw in words. i throw in more words. i stir. ta-da!

do you outline: i have not outlined on paper ever in my life. in my head tho? yes, absolutely. i am just too lazy and awkward to write it down. then i forget. oops. or then i don’t forget and get haunted or possessed, there’s no in between. 

ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice: this one historical au for Guardian which would also include some reincarnation themes. it would require a ton of research so am a bit scared. also, a DMBJ cultivator au just so that i could have pingxie and heihua meet in very different circumstances and have them use cool magic stuff. plus all the other characters having neat stories and skills and outfits. me and @ashenlights are throwing around a ton of ideas probably every day and have a docs file and some pins on pinterest etc :’D i will never probably actually write this bc it would get way too huge but the brainstorming is nice ♥ also i have this one pingxie reincarnation/soulmates au that haunts me currently but idk if i will have the motivation to write that. 

and then my personal favorite: a fic for The Journey Across the Night where i get to explore the main trio’s relationship developing throughout the series (and probably even after that) while each of them slowly figures out how much they love the other two. first part would be shi cheng who first watches chacha and li jia having a crush on each other meanwhile he ignores any of his own feelings towards li jia and what he’s doing to distract himself from that. second part would be chacha who notices shi cheng’s feelings for li jia and tries to figure out how she will take that while maintaining her own developing relationship with li jia plus her family problems. last part would be li jia who follows chacha and shi cheng going from friends to something else. he doesn’t understand. he has a lot of other stuff in his mind. there’s his alter making his first appearance. he might or might not be in love with both of his friends but needs a tiny nudge to get it, especially with shi cheng. i lack the skill and words to accomplish any of this so i just like to daydream. 

callouts @ me: actually the same as for you hils, that’s a good call out :’D i really should try some female characters once in a while. but they have slowly come a part of my stories at least? another one would be: pls for the love of god learn more vocabulary. and ways to form sentences. and like,,, stop editing those sentences so much, they’re fine. 

best writing traits: uuuhhh can i just skip this? these days it’s not easy to find anything positive to say about my own writing or my process with it. i am a mess. some stuff makes sense, a big part does not. maybe emotion but i feel like i cannot manage that either in a way that would satisfy me? persistence works too. i rarely abandon things completely. 

spicy tangential opinion: um. yours was very good hils, that made me so happy ^^ i should really try not to pressure myself to be perfect either just for the acknowledgement etc. this is a hobby yes and should be fun. which it is. but i struggle still sigh. idk what else to add really? write whatever you like. write those themes that you want to see. write the characters you want to see written in the way only you feel about them. write that pairing no one else has written. write for the fandom that doesn’t even show up on ao3. write for yourself, truly. write for your tiny group of friends who yell at you and are lovely and as crazy as you ♥ enjoy the process despite it being awful at times. writing is learning but also, don’t only just pressure yourself to improve with every sentence you write. i tend to do that a lot bc am so desperate to be better but i cannot force that into me. i gain experience slowly and learn at my own pace. i need to allow myself that. and sometimes i just need to allow myself to write whatever and have fun with it and not think about how much sense everything makes or if the characterization is 150% perfect. thanks for coming to my ted talk haha 

this was so nice :’) it’s sometimes nice to think about myself as a writer and then come up with things that i should take note of more often. i hope to write so much. i have so many ideas. my heart is filled with love for some many things. praying for all the time and inspiration for myself and all of my writer friends ♥

tagging only @i-am-just-a-kiddo if they wish to join me on this one :’) also tagging @kholran who was calling for everyone in their own post! that one was so nice to read too ^^  

[auncyen]

Name: Raaj/Auncyen

Fandoms: I am incredibly focused on one fandom at a time so right now it’s Persona 5, but others I’ve written for: Bravely Default, a tiny bit of Miraculous Ladybug, one Utena fic, and a number of FF7 fics.  Shadow Hearts and a few other fandoms if you go digging deep enough and find the ff.net account lol

Most popular oneshot: Sorting by kudos-- Stall and Crash, to which my response is thank you.  My one shots are usually “I have an idea, I feel inspired, I’m going to write most of this in one day and toss it out to see who likes it”.  Stall and Crash otoh took several months and there was much rewriting.  So much rewriting.  (Enough so that I eventually posted the concept draft as its own work because they’re just That Different to me.)

Most popular multichapter: again sorting by kudos, When The Cat Dragged In The Trickster.  ...This is both ‘thank you’ and ‘I’m sorry I manage to stump myself on this so often’.

Fics Nervous to post: if my brain cooperates long enough to write a story to my satisfaction I am inflicting it on everyone else

but I guess I have been nervous with posting Cat & Trickster which, at least initially, was partially due to how the fandom can be about the Ryuji & Morgana fight.

Coming Soon:

NEXT CAT & TRICKSTER chapter which I hope will completely kill the nervousness by getting to next part of story

though I increasingly question the very premise I still want to complete “two assholes and a murder” fic.  The assholes are Morgana and Akechi.

a royal fic I can’t fully explain without huge spoilers but to keep it simple: Kasumi, how Shujin would really react to her and how that affects the rumor mill, and Ren’s friendship with her.

Favorite things to write: @cateringisalie I’m stealing your answer: alternate universes, what-ifs, and missing scenes are all very fun to write.

Actual worst part of writing: “I swear I knew how I was getting to the next point before....but now I don’t remember and can’t figure it out”.

How you choose your titles: Most of them are figured out at time of posting.  I would not say they are particularly inspired, though a couple I like anyway.

Do you outline: ..........nnnnnot really.  There was one time early on in my fic-writing that I DID outline an entire fic over the course of about 3 pages--not as meticulous as some people can get, but PRETTY nitty-gritty for me.

I then lost all motivation to actually write it, because I already knew what would happen.

But I will mention with Cat & Trickster’s last chapter I did do a rough outline of scenes and I’ll probably start doing that more often when I get stumped--try to break down what needs to happen to progress and write that down so I work on those smaller parts.

Ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?

Royal version of “Cat & Trickster” still seems vaguely interesting, but what I originally thought of wouldn’t work.  It kind of completely changed how events panned out based on certain factors from Royal and an overhaul like that is too much work if I can’t do exactly what I want.  And I do think a Royal framework would completely change things, so yeah.

Slapping Vanilla’s “good deal” ending up against Royal elements for fun and devastating fallout

I swear there are other things I can’t think of right now

Callouts @ Me: so much repetitive word usaaaaage

Spicy Tangential Opinion: I love spitefic.  When you can be annoyed and get that out by arguing a point in fic form and then people actually like it as a fic it’s like, oh.  no more annoyance.  now I’m happy.

tagging: @chidorinnnnn, @darrelodin, @0ssianic?  I’m a little tired rn so I’m not sure who’s done it and who’s not

[rivercamerasure]

Call Out for erasure poems

On the 21st June citizens will be holding a ceremony to declare the rights of the River Cam. I’m poet and activist Alice Willitts, inviting you to write erasure poems to mark the occasion. Erasures because this poetic form symbolically reflects the erasure of the precious chalk stream habitat the city’s water is drawn from. Erasure because by taking words away, we regenerate corporate text into language that is alive with meaning. The text we will be erasing is the foreword to the Anglian Water’s Pollution Incident Reduction Plan 2020-2025 (text is below).

If you’re new to erasures, a good guide to writing erasure poetry can be found here: https://ypn.poetrysociety.org.uk/workshop/erasure-poems-a-challenge-with-karen-mccarthy-woolf-and-julia-bird/

This is a collective act, working together on the same text, to reveal the many voices that care about the River Cam, about water quality and about putting nature on an equal footing with commerce when providing water to citizens. My intention is to collate our erasure poems and in the first instance send them to the Environment Agency and Anglian Water. It may be appropriate to read some of the erasures at the ceremony on the 21st so please indicate in your submission if that’s something you’d like to do yourself, or have your poem read out. In large part, what I can do with the poems will depend on what you all send in but I’ll keep you informed as it develops.

Submissions until noon on 15th June 2021 to Alice Willitts RiverCamErasure@gmail.com

All medias and formatting accepted: word, pages, PDF, RTF, plain text. Please send photographs of original artwork as jpegs.

If you have any questions on the erasure callout contact poet Alice Willitts RiverCamErasure@gmail.com

Please use this text for erasure:

As a monopoly provider of water and water recycling services to almost seven million people across the east of England and Hartlepool, we have a clear-cut duty to safeguard – and indeed to enhance – our environment. One of the most important contributions we can make is to ensure that our activity does not contribute to environmental pollution. In words borrowed from the medical profession: first do no harm. Caring for our environment is so fundamental to the way we operate at Anglian Water that we have built our commitment into the fabric of the company, in 2019 becoming the first major utility to change our Articles of Association to enshrine public interest for the long term. So I want to be clear from the outset that we regard any pollution incident taking place in our region as one too many, and we are wholeheartedly committed to reaching zero pollutions. Customer expectations in this area are rightly high and we must rise to meet them. Yet we acknowledge that elimination of all pollutions cannot be achieved overnight. First, we must address the challenges we face, which are recognised in our 25-year Strategic Direction Statement, and factored into our long-term plans for Anglian Water. Paramount among these are climate change and population growth, which both have an influence on pollution incidents. Our region is one of the fastest growing in the country, with rapid development leading to greater demand, and more water than ever passing through our recycling centres. The extremes of rainfall we are seeing as a result of climate change can cause huge and unpredictable volumes of excess water to enter our systems, while droughts can also impact water quality as waterbodies, and the biodiversity they support, become more sensitive when levels drop. The landscape of our region has a part to play too – low-lying, largely rural, and with slow-flowing rivers, meaning that any pollution that does occur can be slow to clear. However, we recognise that external challenges are not the only causes of pollution in our region, and our plan addresses the role our people, our customers and of course our infrastructure assets can play in putting a stop to pollutions. Preventing pollution, and tackling it where it occurs, forms part of the daily dialogue at operational meetings at all levels. When incidents do occur, root cause analysis takes place to ensure we learn the lessons from what has happened; I personally oversee the findings from all investigations into every single serious pollution. For the first time, this plan sets out tangible and achievable steps to help us towards our goal of eradicating pollution incidents from our region, and gives us the tools we need to measure and track our progress. It’s also a document designed to be shared with our customers and other interested parties, to show that we are being transparent both about the issues, and about what we are doing to address them. It sets out how we will tackle pollutions via a nine-step model which includes a range of measures, from innovative early warning processes and preventative measures, through to customer education programmes and training for colleagues. We are committed to sharing what we learn through carrying out the plan with our fellow water companies in a spirit of openness and transparency and, in return, to learning from examples of best practice elsewhere. By working together we can drive real progress, protecting and enhancing our environment for current and future generations to enjoy.

If you’d prefer to work from the original source, here’s the reference.

https://www.anglianwater.co.uk/contentassets/0e50eef7ef2a4630b31220d3351193d7/pollution-incident-reduction-plan-2020-2025.pdf

I have been told that The Universal Declaration of Rights and the reasons for this acton will be posted on https://www.friendsofthecam.org in the next few days.

[martelldoran]

For the fanfic writers ask game, 4, 13 and 24 ❤️

Hello friend! Thanks for stopping in and indulging me. 💖

4. Do you write original stories as well?

Now here’s a question. I do. Sort of. See part of the reason I’ve been so focused on fanfic is that I completely stalled on the original stuff I started to write. I got so stuck on the plot and also realised because it was going to be a historical piece I’d need to do a butt tonne of research. So I currently have all these characters living rent free in my mind because I don’t know what to do with them. That’s just one of the originals left languishing. Stop by again and ask me about ‘Lumen’ and I’ll tell you all about that particular original work.

13. What is your planning process?

God, i don’t really have one. I write on a wing and a prayer. Which is probably why I end up with terrible plot ache that I can’t get past. Okay, so I try to plan. I really do. For one particular fic, I have a huge document already filled with research and plot points and something of a timeline. But more often than not, i start writing and I’ll have a few scenes really clear in my head and it’s a case of writing to get to that point. I call them coat hook scenes.

I’m trying to get better with planning though. I’ve been doing more bullet-point lists of ideas and brainstorming.

24. How many WIPs (work-in-progress) do you’ve got?

Yikes. Is this a callout for myself?? Let’s see, I’m actively writing the food fic I posted a snippet of last week and the fake dating fic which I haven’t touched in while and need to get back to. But then I have a few that are more in the ‘planning’/idea stages which would mostly be the Becca Barnes POV war/pre-war fic I’m dying to write but again, I need to work out the plot. So I’ll say 3. I would count the Budapest fic but I’ve not really done anything with that other than write like one page of notes. 

Thanks again anon! Hope you’re having a lovely day wherever you are in the world!

fanfic asks anyone?

[imadethisblogfor1post]

What is gender? Please send help

Content warning: ignorance about transgender issues, discussion of sexism, well-meaning-ally-who-doesn’t-quite-get-it-ism. Callouts welcome and encouraged.

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I want to start by saying that despite my profound lack of understanding about what gender is, I don’t want to invalidate anyone. I want so badly to be a supportive ally to trans and nonbinary folks, and at first I did a lot of reading to try to understand, but no matter how much I read, I stayed confused. So eventually, I gave up. After all, I don’t have to have a deep understanding of an identity to know that people are deserving of respect. If calling someone a particular name or using a particular set of pronouns will help them know that I love and respect them, then of course, of course, I will do that. Nothing I am about to say changes that.

The only problem is, not understanding makes it really hard to call out bigotry, because I don’t always see it. This post was triggered by a recent transphobic tweetstorm by JK Rowling, and I think I get why most of those were bad, but with some I’m still more sympathetic than I’m comfortable with. This continues a trend I’ve seen for a while: some of the most helpful pieces of reading material have been posts from radical feminists that I found myself nodding along to, only to find that the point of the post my friend was sharing was the attached comment and call-out. These served as huge wake-up calls, but it still wasn’t enough to explain to me what I wasn’t getting. More than that, even after the call outs, even after knowing that some of the points of the original post were transphobic, I sometimes can’t help feeling that some part of it rang true. Therefore, my problems as an ally come in two parts. One, I deeply lack the understanding to call out bigotry in others and myself, and two, there are some real conflicts between the feminism I subscribe to and certain aspects of trans ideology (ideology is not a good word to use here, but I’m at a loss for what else to call it)(sorry).

I’ll start with the second— it’s the worse one anyhow. The crux of the problem is this: there are distinct consequences to being assigned female at birth. We are treated differently, we are socialized differently, and no matter how progressive your parents are, it’s impossible to completely escape. Put simply, cis women and trans women do not experience 100% the same types of oppression. This is not to say either experiences more or less pain, this is not to say either is more or less deserving of support, this is not to say that we as feminists should not strive to be intersectional (we should). All I am saying is that inclusion cannot come at the expense of erasing or silencing the experiences of people who were assigned female at birth.

I have a few specific concerns on this matter - these are the points that make me sympathetic to radical feminism (even when I see them called terfs, as ashamed as I am to admit it).

One, we need to be allowed to use words about female anatomy without being called terfs. It’s not okay to exclude people and imply that all women have uteri and all people with uteri are women, but it needs to be okay to talk about uteri.This one comes up less often, but when it does come up I find myself extremely indignant. I am sincerely sorry that talking about anatomy triggers dysphoria, but in a world where female anatomy is treated as inherently explicit, and people have been silenced in legislative settings simply for using those anatomical terms, we can’t afford to be silenced within our own communities. 

Two, it’s not okay to shout people down for how they experience attraction. I really shouldn’t have to say this, but too often I’ve seen lesbians pressured or called transphobic for not being interested in being with someone with a penis. It’s not uncommon for lesbians to experience compulsory attraction to men before recognizing their sexuality. That, combined with the prevalence of sexual violence against women and people who are assigned female at birth, makes me extremely skeptical of anyone whose response to rejection is to attempt to shame them into changing their mind. Again, I’m sorry, and it sucks that it causes dysphoria, but no one is entitled to anyone else’s attraction. It is not okay to pressure anyone else into a relationship or sex, regardless of the circumstances. I myself am gray-ace and panromantic - suffice to say I don’t really get how being attracted to genitals works, but if that’s how it works for them, then that’s how it works for them. If we need different words for “hi I’m attracted to the gender of woman” and “hi I’m attracted to female anatomy” then so be it, but honestly people probably shouldn’t have to disclose that much information right out the gates, and both should be allowed to call themselves lesbians. There’s a balance to be struck here, but I’m sick of seeing lesbians alienated for this, and it needs to be addressed.

Three, there need to be spaces for people who were assigned female at birth, without people who were assigned male at birth (unless they are invited as a guest). As mentioned above, sexual and gender based violence against AFAB people is incredibly common. A lot of us have trauma around it. We need spaces where we can talk about those experiences without being shouted down, the same way trans people need spaces to talk about their experiences. This is a bit of a slippery slope - obviously there need to be intersectional spaces as well, and it’s not okay to exclude people, as long as everyone is being respectful. But it’s important to make space for all of us, and understand that our experiences are not uniformly the same.

I’m not sure why this has been such an issue. Some part of me that I hate to acknowledge suggests that part of the problem is that people who are assigned male at birth tend to be more entitled than people who are assigned female at birth, simply because that’s how they were taught and socialized when they were younger, but that brings up a whole slew of other issues, and I’d hate to paint with too broad a brush. Perhaps it’s just that the fight for inclusion needs to be fierce and thorough, and any space where one isn’t included is treated as an attack, even if that isn’t the intent. No matter the reason, we need to understand that we are not all the same, and that’s not a bad thing. 

In a roundabout way, this brings me to my other barrier to being a good ally: I just don’t *get* gender. It’s not that I haven’t tried. As I mentioned early on in this post, when I first realized how much I didn’t understand about gender I did so much reading. I watched videos. I listened to podcasts. I went to a workshop (though truth be told the workshop did more harm than good). And what I got is this: it sounds like there’s a common experience, some strong internal certainty that composes gender identity, that says “I am a woman”, or “I am a man”, or “I am neither”, as the case may be. I have never felt this certainty. There is no emotion that tells me I am a woman, there is no internal compass, there is no sense of “no, that’s not right” when I imagine myself as a man, except a sense of unfamiliarity with the idea. As far as I’m concerned, I’m a woman because that’s what I’ve always been, and that’s how I’ve always been treated. It would be odd to use he/him pronouns for me because no one’s ever done that, and it would cause confusion, but that’s about the end of my issue with it.

This is, of course, directly in conflict with much of the narrative around gender these days. There must be something I’m missing, but I can never seem to pin down what gender actually *is* and every analogy and metaphor seems to confuse me even more.

Gender must not be biological sex, because trans people exist. Nonbinary people exist. Both are valid, and for all that I’m not a very good ally, I know that much.

Gender must not be personality traits, because, that’s personality. There are people on all areas of the gender spectrum with all types of personality traits. Don’t tell me that women can’t be brash, that men can’t be sweet.They are.

Gender must not be how you dress, because hey, we should all be able to dress however we want! How you dress doesn’t change your identity. (This part is gender expression though I think, if I’ve followed the articles correctly) Butch women exist, feminine men exist, androgynous people exist, all are valid.

Gender must not be gender roles, because honestly, fuck that. Gender roles are a tool of patriarchal oppression, and I’m not about to sit here and that be all there is to gender identity. If it helps you feel more at home in your skin then more power to ya, but that can’t be all there is.

So then, what is it? What is left? This isn’t a rhetorical question. I have genuinely tried to find answers to this and I have never been more lost. When I went to the trans allyship workshop mentioned above, I was told by the others at my table that to them being a woman was being nurturing, valuing family, being empathetic, being a caretaker. I was so relieved that we ran out of time before it was my turn. I don’t know what being a woman is to me, it’s just what I’ve always been. The only thing it has ever meant was shame about my body, shame about my period, enduring r*pe jokes and kitchen jokes from my guy friends, always having to be the one to “seduce the guard” when we played d&d, and other, darker things I don’t want to mention. It’s only ever been painful, and fearful, and ashamed. On the one hand, it means I’m inclined to believe trans women when they say that gender isn’t a choice— after all, who would choose this? But on the other, I know there must be more to this, something that I’m missing because my identity is too deeply rooted in oppression. I am ripping those roots out one by one, but they go deep, and I’m scared that without them I won’t have any point of reference left.

I want to understand gender, but even if I never do, I will always respect the identity and pronouns that people claim as their own. It is never my intent to dehumanize, or exclude. I want to be able to call out bigotry, I want to be able to stand up for my trans and nonbinary friends, I want to be sure that I don’t say something to them that causes them harm. 

But at its core: I don’t get it. What is gender? What makes a gender what it is?

Again, this is non-rhetorical. If you have the time and energy, I welcome any information, any resources, any anecdotes, anything at all to help me understand. I’ve looked, hard, but I won’t pretend to have read anywhere near the full lexicon of literature on this subject. If I’ve said something that upset or angered you, please don’t hesitate to call me out. Yell at me, if that’s what this post inspires, and I’ll do my best to learn from it, or at the very least maybe it will serve as a wake-up call for someone else. Or, if you agree, I’d be grateful to know that too. It can get pretty lonely feeling like there’s some manual to gender that everyone else has that somehow I never got.

TL;DR: What is gender? I want to learn but I’m hella lost and struggling to be both a trans ally and a radical feminist, and I was so afraid of offending anyone that I literally made a blog just for this post, which is silly because I don’t even really use my main blog. I just know that if you’re looking for callouts, this is where you go.

[rawliverandcigarettes]

Hey!

I’m in Sweden now! Given my old job is done with (!!!!) and I’m finally ready to start my new life, everything will be way quieter in my personal life and I will be able to get back to a Mass Effectish online presence.

A few things:

1) I haven’t participated a lot in Pillowfort (or at all, just been lurking from the distance), and it kinda feels empty a bit? I would be interested in your experience if you are in a more active corner.

2) I haven’t reached my 2018 goals for Halfway Home at all. Like it’s a disaster. I haven’t even finished the final outline. But I’ve been making huge progress lately, so I have good hopes. My 2019 goal is to finish Halfway Home. I don’t know if I will start posting it in 2019, even though I will try, but draft 2 needs to be good to go by 2019. Given how much I’ve been cutting from the old outline (it’s some horrifying butchery, but I’ve uncluttered a lot of stuff), the drafting process should not be super long, so if I am serious with it, it should go smoothly-kind-of. At least I hope it will.

Beware: below is a brutally honest me regarding my platform and what to do with it, and also Halfway Home and Mass Effect and Discourse (TM).

3) I’ve been really thinking about this platform and how I’m not really sure how I feel about the one I currently have. I’m not sure I marketed Halfway Home well enough, out of, well, fear. To be completely honest, I think I tamed the picture a little bit in hope of fitting better in the community, and the more time goes by, the more apprehensive I am of potential pointless discourse around the things I will eventually put out there. And to be fair, I don’t feel like dealing with most of it, especially in the way some of tumblr’s moral discourse is handled. My secret hope is that 99,999% of the fandom won’t read it, so I won’t get shit. I’m at the point where I want to post it in near-secrecy because I’m so tired in advance of the Discourse Potential this story have (I do think it will go under the radar and not enough people will read it long enough to be bothered really, but I’ve been thinking about that a lot still).

I mean; I haven’t hidden anything, the bad stuff is all listed below my fic presentation entry right there (https://rawliverandcigarettes.tumblr.com/post/173667899969/well-well-ive-been-pestering-you-with-this-for). But I have still hidden a lot, and the disagreement I had with another user in 2018 kind of made me fully realize people can be really protective of the game as it is. It’s an authorial intent VS death of the author kind of thing, and also, at the heart of it all, a disagreement of how much canonical intent matters or needs to shape the player’s views. And Halfway Home is a critical piece of fiction. It just is. A lot is put under scrutiny (I’m talking turian culture, I’m talking military, I’m talking economy, basically nobody is safe (not even Mordin)), and I’ve taken liberties with one particular character that I know would absolutely enrage some people in here, which made me extremely nervous for the longest time (still does). I don’t want to enrage anyone. My goal is not to push some dark and cynical agenda down people’s throat; I do not even, myself, play Mass Effect with this vision in mind 100% of the time, I just make both coexist in my head -the cheery/cheesy epic dramatic scifi game, and the darker social commentary using said game to talk about politics and powerplay and flawed people and stuff. So yeah. Halfway Home is my take on what this game inspires me, how I feel about the way it handles things, but that’s more of an adaptation than a literal callout (ugh, please no). I’m not out there to ruin your day or your relationship with the game, and it would be pretty stupid of me to do so (I really despise the “if you like x you are trash” hot takes in here, they’re dumb, you don’t know every person and why they like controversial things, go uplift stuff you like instead of tearing people down). I don’t exactly want to dismiss my hard work either; it’s taking me a damn lot of time and reflexion to create this piece, and I still made as sure as possible it remains consistent with canon (canon = games in this specific case, I don’t like most of the comics and books I tried from the OT, they focus on military and people with weapons too much for my taste and it bores me). It’s a proposal of a different vision, of a new point of view which does not invalidate anything else because stuff can coexist; that’s what fandom is all about, and it’s absolutely great.

So yeah. I don’t know. Related to the porn ban and stuff, I’m kind of considering opening a blog somewhere, in a less social platform, and post my uncensored thought process and more of the stuff you just read in there, where it can’t make people feel bad.

(as in: I don’t think it’s bad that you feel bad by reading some stuff or point of view, but I also want to feel good. That’s the complicated process of social shared space. I’m not sure how to handle the boundaries, thus my thoughts about leaving).

I don’t know. I’m just rambling at this point. If you’ve read that, what are your thoughts? Do you think those thoughts are an overreaction, or did you have such thoughts in the past as well?

[royal-mortician]

Story Time once I was a wee lass and super into the RPG maker community and very interested in every new project coming out. Back then the amount of actually genuinely finished RPG maker games was probably in the double digits at most, and a huge majority of them weren’t commercial products.

There was however one game that was intensely marketed and hyped, and it was a “real” game that was going to cost money, and it had some nice looking graphics and all. Pretty much everyone was on the edge of their seat and once it was released I bought it immediately. It was supposed to be open world, some 40 hours long, with a sweepingly epic plot and like a billion characters.

Only it was a bit strange all in all, because the game was not only extremely slow paced and very grindy but also full of bugs, crashed suspiciously often, and had even weirder things like essential npcs or passages blocked off by geometry, clearly unsolvable puzzles, unbeatable enemies leading to abrupt game overs, and so on.

Now, mind that back in the day RPG maker games weren’t pathetically easy to unpack/decompile into working, editable projects - it was a brand new version of RPG maker with brand new encryption and, as far as the general public knew, completely inscrutable. Some people were able to make incremental progress in the game by getting around impassable obstacles and unbeatable enemies by using hex editors, or cheat engine - that’s how hardcore dedicated people were, because it was SO. HYPED.

I was even more highly determined though and with the help of my partner, who deep dived into some japanese-language forums and figured out how to work the one functioning decryption tool, we finally cracked the game open. We had it as an editable RPG maker project laid bare, with access to all of its maps, scripts, everything.

Here’s what we found: the game-breaking bugs, numerous “mistakes” throughout and the unsolvable puzzles? Were no accident at all. They were there to mask the fact that the game ended abruptly about an hour into it, with nothing close to a plot resolution and not even close to the full advertised party of characters.

Since I’d been VERY diligently cataloguing all the bugs and glitches and crashes on the game’s forum, super excited to help, I obviously felt more than a little bit cheated when it turned out there was basically no game. So I went public with all the receipts immediately, posted screenshots that clearly showed that there was no more game at all after a particular unsolvable puzzle. I think my thread was called something like ��[Bug Report] After the cave, there is no more game”

The dev, who’s been seemingly helpful and “working hard on fixing the bugs” up until that point, went silent for a few days. Then they claimed that they mistakenly uploaded an older, unfinished version of the game. The community was obviously in an uproar at that point. Finally, after “attempting” to upload that entirely fictional finished version for something like two weeks, and things mysteriously going wrong all the time, they owned up to the fact that yes, this was all they had, they wanted the money (the game was something like $30) for a school trip ASAP and were basically planning to string their fans along - by pretending the unsolvable puzzles and unbeatable bosses were just very hard, and no one found a way past them yet - for as long as it took them to finish the other 90% of the project.

In the end I got my refund and became very suspicious of any indie games that lock their obviously paltry content behind irrationally long grinds (looking at you graveyard keeper).

Since this is not a callout, I’m not putting the name of the game here - it was eventually finished, several years later. Its own website - and especially the forums - have been carefully scrubbed from existence. It’s available on steam for $10, with mixed reviews - a lot of them pointing out that the game is extremely tedious, boring and slow, and that a huge majority of the advertised 40 hours comes from the unreasonable amounts of grinding required to progress. It also seems that a lot of its pretty graphics were traced or outright ripped from older, more obscure games.

[rimesgarden]

I don't think that's the issue - at least from my perspective.

I don't mind challenging content. Hell, I love it. I genuinely love the DE meta, just as I love (and loved) Dragon's Stand, and Triple Trouble, and Drakkar. I love that I have to actually work for content and rewards and I love big scale community events. I trained to be an open world commander for that (back in the glory days of TTS).

The problem, currently, is how fucking broken the meta is. Mainly the boss fight.

I'm 95% sure they broke the bite attack RNG again, as every fight I've been in has had her switching sides every three attacks or so. She locks into animations of other attacks when it's already phase and can take up to like half a minute or more to transition so we can damage her again. I don't need to tell you how precious those seconds are.

Not to mention the design choices of some of it. They've tied most of the callouts for phases or mechanics like tail to audio cues only, which quite often simply don't play, especially on lower-end PCs, and are big trouble for players with audio processing issues (such as myself). The visual telegraphs for the fight, and a lot of the content in the expack, are abysmal in general. The bubbles basically require a whole emergency response team to get down, and don't even get me started on the whirlpools before the adjust. I haven't had a chance to try after that last patch, but i know prior an EMP barely dented the breakbars of those things. And as the EMP is needed for other things, it's often not worth it to waste.

Speaking of the EMPs, the fight has too much cc on much too short an interval, making the EMP near mandatory. Which can then be screwed up by a single troll placing an interactable on the table(s). And the over-reliance on the EMP means people don't bring their own utility cc, which makes split bosses hell. (This is not anet's fault necessarily, it's actually the one design choice i like.)

And on that note; that's not the only chance they have to mess things up. A single person can stall and waste seconds in the wisp phase, whether by malignance or ignorance. They made it shorter at least, but I'm still not a huge fan of the design there.

And as people have said, the problem is not necessarily the design of the meta, or the difficulty of it; it's how much stuff is locked behind it. I was pleasantly surprised the story achievement for doing the meta before the last story still progressed on fail, but that's about the only one. They added the turtle egg to a vendor, but many, many post-campaign collections require successful metas, and often multiple of them. It's no wonder people are frustrated: it's not up to them that their progress is stalled, it's up to other people and it's all too easy for just a couple or even a single asshole to keep them there.

Last but not least, the rewards. Mainly on fail. You get nothing. Nada, zip, niente. You've just wasted two hours of your time and effort, after you had to fight to find a map at all, and you have nothing to show for it. Is it too much to ask for at least an exp reward?

(imo, they should just pause the timer for the split bosses. this is not unprecendented and would solve most if not all the design problems above. Hell, do it like DS and add a timer doing those phases to finish the bosses or something, but stop the main clock.)

Do people struggle with the meta because it's new? Yes. Is it supposed to be challenging? Yes. Do attempts fail because of a lack of organization? Also yes. But don't pretend the design is flawless and that anet is innocent in this. Player backlash is understandable and has its reasons, it's not just people butthurt they can't get rewards for showing up and pressing auto attack.

I don't know why people are being so weird and mad about the Dragon's End meta, as if every meta before this one has been easy. Drakkar can still fail if you don't have a commander who knows the fight. Drizzlewood is an entire map based on the meta, doesn't have a set timer, and will fail if there isn't a commander or the commander doesn't know the meta. Wait that sounds familiar. In Dragon's End if you don't have a commander who knows the fight, the map is gonna fail.

This meta is brand new. Not everyone is going to know the fight. Not everyone's internet connection is the same. The meta failing regularly and taking hours to get through is nothing new. Dragon's Stand is only there for a meta that takes over an hour and I can't imagine that was easy when HoT was new. It is really frustrating right now but this meta is new and is still getting updated and worked on and players are new and learning it. No one bats an eye when people get downed or dead in any other meta. Cause they're not easy. Most metas are hard. This isn't new.