#hr? pr? both?

[demialwrites]

Rufus's Sister

You, Rufus's Sister, don't care for meetings or most of the board, so you have some fun.

"Watch this," you whispered, subtly elbowing Palmer.

"Oh!" Your fellow director wiggled in his seat, getting worked up that someone was paying him some attention.

You didn't like the creepy man that much but he would make for a suitable partner-in-crime for the moment. You pulled a resealable bag out of your suit jacket pocket, revealing your partially-eaten snack of peanut butter smoothed into celery sticks.

Palmer watched in rapt, but confused, attention.

Rufus was droning on about Weapons. Again. Giant materia whales had nothing to do with your department, and the details were beyond your understanding, anyway. He was turned to the other side of the table, answering a question from Reeve, so you began the game by unzipping the bag without attracting giving yourself away.

Sliding open the first half of the zipper gained you Scarlet casting a confused glance down her nose at you. She considered you the lesser Shinra sibling. One day you'll show her she's wrong, but that day was not today.

The second half attracted the attention of your real target. Not your boring brother but the dog behind him. Long and thin pointy ears sprang up at the sound of the plastic zipper. You could see his red eyes fixed in the direction of your seated figure but it was hard to tell because they were naturally crossed.

That one flaw in his best friend was a sore point for Rufus. You only made fun of it sparingly for maximum effect.

Darkstar ambled undetected behind his pet parent to sit under the table in front of you. It was an awkward squeeze but he desperately wanted what you had. Peanut butter. Palmer leaned back in fear but you quietly repeated the command to watch, drawing a celery stick out of the bag. The monstrous dog scooted closer excitedly, and you pushed the celery into his hungry mouth, snatching your hand back before his fangs closed together.

Palmer squealed, finally understanding what the game was.

It was noisy work, making sure to suck down every last morsel of peanut butter. You marvelled at how the dog didn't slice his flapping tongue to shreds licking in between his teeth. Scarlet unintentionally did you a favour just then with the timing of one of her outbursts, focusing Rufus's attention on her. You briefly pitied him, toddlers had better self-regulation skills than some of the adults in this room.

One of those toddlers, Palmer, clapped in joy.

"What are you doing?" asked Rufus.

You looked up at the unimpressed question to find the entire board watching and waiting for your answer. Palmer was still wiggling obliviously. Rufus glanced down at the tentacle wagging from under the table, the tip patting the side of his thigh.

"Director?" Rufus asked again, using his best 'president' voice.

"Nothing," you replied innocently.

He wrinkled his nose because you were a liar. He knew that because he was a practiced liar, too. He called Darkstar out from under the table. Rufus immediately noted the savoury scent of peanut butter on his dog's breath. You slipped the now-empty bag into your pocket before he looked up.

"Nothing?" he repeated.

The minute movements of his eyes searched you for what he wouldn't find. Knowing each other from early childhood allowed you to be relaxed about hiding any tells or signs of guilt. Your lips twitched into a smile for the briefest of moments. You were betting on him letting this slide. No one was paying much attention to you during the presentation, and they paid even less to Palmer. Rufus risked making a big deal out of nothing if he reprimanded you in front of everyone.

"Hmph."

Rufus turned and walked out, signaling the end of the meeting. Darkstar trotted to catch up, chops still wetly slapping together. You high-fived Palmer, then immediately regretted it, wiping a greasy hand off on your thigh.

[doorhanginoffthehinges]

Interviewer: if you could kiss anyone in the world who would it be?

Neil : my beautiful husband andrew minyard

Interviewer: that doesn’t count. You do that anyway.

Neil, not hesitating: Your Mom

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘷. (𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴) 🐅

⤷ summary: spain and canada. lando's rizz is negative, mission is failed. plus, mclaren pr is about to fuck shit up 🗣️

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

liked by ynusername, zbrownceo, and 42,908 others

mclaren spain you were forgettable at best 😔 on to the next one

18,980 others

user1 y/n don't insult your team on the team account challenge

mclaren is it really an insult if it's true

user2 we got a lando photo but at what cost

user3 lando fans can never win here

mclaren why you would ever choose to be a lando fan to begin with is beyond me

user2 you're so right queen i'm sorry

landonorris DON'T APOLOGIZE WTF

user2 fuck both of y'all honestly

user4 at least mclaren fans can always count on content, even if we can't expect results 😭

user5 lando and y/n in their friendship era, how the fuck did we get here

landonorris you're posting me now? oh you want me so bad 🥴

mclaren sending this to hr immediately

ynusername YOU'RE FIREEEDDDDDDD

user6 damn she logged into both accounts just to make sure he heard her ass 💀 double homicide

user7 oscar fans i can't even tell if we won or lost

user8 we didn't get a face pic but... we didn't get whatever the fuck the 3rd slide is

landonorris guys pLEASE

landonorris i won't post it she says... it's just for me she says

user9 LMAOOOO AND YOU BELIEVED HER???? 🤣 🫵

landonorris going dark, no one call me

user9 was anyone going to anyways 💀

user10 LET HIM GET UPPPP

oscarpiastri i'll pay you 20 dollars if you don't ever do this to me

mclaren 🤝

mclaren i mean you were never the target but now you will be if i don't get my money!!!!

oscarpiastri oh ok

lilyzneimer i have pictures you can you use if you need bb <3

oscarpiastri WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON

zbrownceo Very funny Y/n! Keep up the good work 👍

mclaren Thanks boss! (:

landonorris ZAK WHY

user11 zak is so supportive now, wait until he sees her comments 💀

zbrownceo I have seen her comments! Very funny! 👍

user11 blink twice zak, we can help you

maxverstappen1 This is the highlight of my week, thank you Y/n!

mclaren hey max verstappen of redbull racing! not sure if you heard but you did win the grand prix this weekend

maxverstappen1 No i know, this is just definitely better.

ynusername where's my photo credits 🫵

mclaren my bad bbg 😍

user12 nurse she got out again

oscarpiastri we'll win next time!!

mclaren who told you that 🤨

oscarpiastri the voices in my head

logansargeant you hold on bro, we'll find your meds soon

user13 i think moto moto likes you ahh image

user14 i need to shrink him and put him in my pocket and keep him there

user15 which one?

user14 lando

landonorris nuh uh, pick again

maxfewtrell you can't post pictures without consent mate

mclaren i didn't??

landonorris i didn't consent.

mclaren who are you gonna believe max? me? or the solid concrete evidence in front of you

user16 he looks like he can do some crazy tricks on a trampoline

landonorris this is the only comment about myself that hasnt made me viscerally angry

oscarpiastri unfortunately i feel the opposite

user17 lany/n at it again

user18 literally what the fuck do you mean

user17 if you dont get it, i can't explain it to you

user18 okay cryptic ass, fuck you 🙄

user19 they're in love guys, just wait and see

user20 yall just love saying stupid shit on this page huh

user19 i hate getting accused of some shit i actually do 😡 like yeah i do love that but who told you

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

user20 op be so fr right now

user21 everytime one of these illiterate f1 drivers pulls one of the hottest women on earth a fairty dies

user21 *fairy

user22 fairty

user21 you shut the fuck up 🫵

user23 people when coworkers are seen together at their place of work

user24 do you hug your coworkers and follow them like a lost puppy when you could be on a break

user23 wtf no

user24 EXACTLY MF, THIS IS NOT COWORKERS BEING COWORKERS

user25 history will say they were just colleagues 😔

opeightywon this shit is a national tragedy

user26 every time i see a post like this i think about the fact that she has probably seen this and i shiver

user27 honestly praying on their downfall

opeightywon wtf

user28 lando fans be normal challenge

user27 idgaf about that white man, she's just too hot for him 😕

opeightywon oh yeah real

user29 i need another youtube video where they stare at each other longingly again asap or i fear i may start having withdrawal symptoms

user30 another hot girl lost to an average white man's swagless looks and cringe fail personality i feel sick

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

liked by landonorris, lilyzneimer, and 44,786 others

mclaren not our best results in canada but we improved i guess 🙄 but on a much better, more exciting note: NEW MCLAREN YOUTUBE CHALLENGE OUT GO GO GO GO

17,998 comments

user31 my crops are watered, my skin is clear, my funds are tripled

mclaren all me 😮‍💨

user32 "yay challenge video" we all cry in unison

user33 OSCAR FANS IS IT REAL??? HAS IT COME TRUE??? IS THAT A FACE PIC I SEE

user34 and it's good quality too 🤩 what did we do to deserve this

mclaren you don't, but oscar bought me coffee all weekend

oscarpiastri yes i bribed her, i feel no shame

user35 lando's back in the dog house bro, he's back to no face pics

user36 but look at his beautiful brown eyes

mclaren babe they're greenish blue with the TINIEST bit of brown 💀

user37 how long you gotta stare at a man's eyes to know the exact paint blend 🫵

user38 DOWN HORRENDOUSSSSSS

lilyzneimer insert comical heart eyes here

mclaren flirting with your man 🤢 on MY cellular device

lilyzneimer my bad bb, he doesn't mean anything to me anyways 🥴

oscarpiastri ok what the fuck

danielricciardo DROP THE CAMERA SETTINGS AND MY LIFE IS YOURS

mclaren check dms 🤲

danielricciardo thanks love you're the best

landonorris LOVE??? LMAOOOO

user39 bro is losing the dgaf war MISERABLY

user40 the way lando is staring at her the whole time she's behind the camera 😫 oh he's not even down bad, bro's down under

landonorris can i get the camera settings

mclaren has anyone ever told you how good you are at photography?? i'm not saying that, i'm just asking 😀

landonorris oKAY fuck you.

user41 the way she doesn't even pretend to care about the results

landonorris i know 🙄

mclaren i know p13 is nawttt talking back to me right now

user41 OHHH SHE ATE YOU UP HUH

landonorris y'all are some fake ass fans fr

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

8:57 PM.

Y/n stared at the flashing numbers on the digital clock in the boardroom and huffed quietly. The table in front of her was covered in a mix of shredded mozzarella cheese and vibrant, red pizza sauce. Flour with evidence of handprints and bits of pizza dough decorated the wood and the woman internally sighed at the thought of clean up. Eventually she would have to get back to work.

Lando was on his phone across the table from her, and she fought the urge to stare at him. Oscar had left a while ago, having an earlier flight than them out of Canada. Lando and her had made the executive decision to stay and finish the pizza the two men had made during the "not my hands" YouTube challenge. It was messy, and didn't fully resemble a proper pizza, but it tasted good enough if not a little bit burnt. The two had been sitting in a comfortable silence for the time being while they ate.

In the time Y/n had gotten to know the British man, both on and off the track, she found herself warming up to him considerably. He was kinder than she gave him credit for at the beginning of the season, and far funnier. She could see now that more often than not he spoke without thinking or having any consideration, and maybe he was more than a little bit arrogant, but he also felt things deeply and cared passionately.

Before she could think about what she was doing, Lando's eyes met hers and he smirked. Y/n's face burned but she rolled her eyes at him and took another bite of their burnt pizza. Her ears caught the sound of him placing his phone on the table, and when she looked up again he was leaning his body across the table and toward her instead.

"What are you staring at? Hm?" He teased and she scoffed.

"You," she started and took another bite of her pizza, "have pizza sauce all over your face, you idiot. And I'm just thinking, not sure if you're familiar with the concept." He grabbed a napkin quickly and began wiping rapidly at his chin and mouth, and even his nose. She couldn't help but laugh loudly. There was nothing on his face. He was perfect actually. Unfortunately.

"Did I get it? Why didn't you tell me sooner, traitor!" She doubled over but nodded anyways.

"What are you thinking about?" he questioned as he settled back down.

"Just the season, you and Oscar," she muttered.

"Me? Thinking of little ol' me when I'm right here in front of you," she rolled her eyes with a groan.

"You have selective hearing Lando," he laughed and nodded.

"Well what have you thought about it? The season I mean. And myself of course, don't care much what you think about Osc," he leaned on his hand and stared at her intently. Y/n couldn't help that being stared at by Lando felt a little bit like being ocean, being pulled and pushed by the moon's gravity. Her brain didn't work properly around him.

Or maybe I'm just really dramatic and he's just hot, she thought miserably, Probably the latter.

"I just think maybe you and me got off on the wrong foot," she said as she fumbled with the lid of her water bottle, "and I think that maybe I enjoy this job a lot more than I thought I would." The comments seemed to sober Lando's mood up slightly.

Maybe I shouldn't have been truthful. Maybe it shouldn't have been that serious.

"What did you think of me?" He asked quietly. "When you met me I mean."

"Do you want me to be honest?" He looked at her quizzically.

"Of course I want you to be honest Y/n, or I wouldn't have asked."

"I thought you were kind of an asshole," she whispered and he laughed.

"So the beef was real for you," he smiled slightly and she let her face fall gently into her hands.

"Yeah," she breathed out a laugh, "yeah maybe a little."

"Doesn't seem like a little," he goaded and she shot him a glare.

"Okay Lord Lando, maybe more than a little," he pointed at her triumphantly.

"AHA! So it was the instagram comment. I thought you knew I was kidding," A loud groan filled the room as she smacked her head on the table. Lando's giggling could probably be heard down the hall but Y/n found she didn't care all that much anymore.

"It wasn't just the instagram comment," she defended weakly. There was a brief silence as Lando stared into space and shook his head.

"Wow... I can't believe you were actually mad at me and I just didn't know."

"It wasn't that big of a deal I guess, I just felt like you didn't really take me seriously."

"Well I mean you're not a very serious person," Y/n's heart fell to her stomach.

"What?" She asked, staring at him. She couldn't have heard him right.

"Well it's just that you're not very serious are you? Like since I met you, it's never felt like you were a serious sort of person." He added as if that was some sort of defense.

As if that isn't more hurtful.

"You're not like Zak or Andrea, or really anyone else here you know? You're just you, you're different. It was hard to be serious with you here because that's just who you are." He continued.

God just shut up, please for the love of God just shut up.

"This is my place of work Lando," she muttered bitterly. "I mean do you hear yourself." His eyes widened and he put his hands out placatingly. Like she was some sort of rabid animal he needed to calm down.

"No no no," he muttered quickly and stood up to round the table, "that's not what I meant Y/n, you know that."

"Stop Lando, just stop," she said as she began to clear off the table.

Why did she expect him to be different. What made her think he could've changed.

"You made it perfectly clear what you mean. What you think of me and of my work, my career" she spit out, swiping everything on the table into the trash. They hadn't finished eating the pizza and now it was in the bin, but Lando didn't deserve to eat the pizza she helped him make. He didn't deserve to be here at all. He wasn't her friend, he was her coworker and nothing else. It was better she accept that now.

"You misunderstood what I said," he grabbed her arm to stop her from cleaning and she whipped it out of his grasp.

"Stop Lando," she said raising her voice. She knew her eyes were teary but she didn't care. She knew her face was red with embarrassment and her hands were shaking with the force of her humiliation but she didn't care. Lando Norris could go fuck himself.

He looked at her in shock and winced as he saw her face. She steeled herself. She had never cried over a man before, why would she do it now.

"You need to leave, you have a flight in the morning," she said emotionlessly. "And I have to clean so I can go home." He tried to speak and she put her hand up, stepping away from him.

"Get out please, you're in my way," she said and his brows scrunched. He was angry? Good, so was she.

"I'm in your way?" He asked incredulously, as if she didn't have any reason to be upset. "You're not even going to hear me out?" He scoffed.

"No Lando, I don't have time for this. I have a job to do and you're in my way," she said emphasizing the words as if speaking to a child. His face fell. He looked angry.

"Whatever Y/n. What fucking ever," he muttered, grabbing his bag and storming out. Y/n waited. Footsteps in the hallways continued until a far off door slammed.

Y/n wilted like an unwatered plant as tears began to fall.

So much for friends.

She knew deep down she was hurt about much more than just friendship.

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆��✧༺ ━━━━━━

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

this is the second to last chapter of part one! i hope you enjoy! please feel free to comment and send requests, i'm excited to hear your thoughts <3

-

𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666

[coco-loco-nut]

Revelations

pairing: Daniel x reader

summary: Daniel casually mentions his wife after 11 YEARS OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. Danny Ric comeback. 2025 season, he is back on rbr

request are open pookie masterlist part 2

—————————

Being an engineer for Red Bull was something else. You have been with them since you graduated college, and truthfully you never want to leave, the team is your family, having been with them for 11 years.

You met your husband through your job, both starting at the ripe old age of 23, and despite the potential HR violations, Christian Horner practically set the two of you up on a date after being oblivious about each other’s crushes. Thus began Red Bull’s best kept secret.

“Happy 10 years, Danny,” you kiss your husband, him watching you analyze data. Christian made him promise to never use you as a mole, and the two of you very quickly agreed. Even when he was on Renault and McLaren, work talk was kept quiet. Daniel had a great season last year and was brought back to Red Bull Racing, Christian promoted you to be his race engineer, knowing Daniel would listen to you.

“Happy 10 years, my love,” he hugs you tight. Your children are home in Australia with their grandparents for the weekend.

“Good morning, Ricciardos. Happy wedding anniversary,” Christian greets you, sitting for the pre-race meeting. Christian celebrates your wedding anniversary almost as much as you do, but he is a part of the family. He officiated your wedding at this track 10 years ago today, and he is the godfather of your eldest.

“Good morning, I printed out some data sheets so we can determine strategy. I noticed some unusual tyre degradation, while it could be from the unusually high track temperatures yesterday, it is something we should plan for today,” you start, passing out the papers. Daniel will never not be able to admire you. Sometimes he misses what people say because he stares at you, the exact reason Christian helped get you two together.

“Let’s grab some coffee then go on a track walk,” Daniel holds his hand out to you after the strategy meeting, you happily take it. After your lap around the track, you meet with the other engineers while Daniel warms up and does media. As you are watching the F2 race for valuable data, someone from PR comes over to you.

“Watch this clip,” she says and you oblige.

Daniel, you seem in better spirits than usual, care to share?

I don’t know mate, I am usually a pretty happy person.

Here I was thinking that maybe you finally had a girlfriend

Nah, I don’t think my wife would be happy about that… I wasn’t really supposed to say that. If you are watching, sorry! I’ll make it up to you, love.

Well, I hope there isn’t a couch in your future. Good luck today.

Thanks, but she’s put up with me for 11 years, I doubt there will be a couch in the future.

“Oh, he might have the couch tonight,” you laugh a little, honestly surprised it took 11 years for him to accidentally say something.

“Looking back at all the photos, he is wearing a wedding ring, how did we not see that?” You hear one of the Mercedes drivers say outside the garage.

“You saw the video?” Daniel asks as you playfully glare at him.

“I did. I have a winning strategy for you, so maybe you can move off the couch tonight. Lose and you stay there longer,” you tease. Being his race engineer helps so much because you can subtly say things and no one picks it up, and any interactions between you seem normal.

“Yes, Mrs. Ricciardo,” he smiles and goes to get changed for the race.

Last car in, good luck Daniel

I don’t need luck, I have you guiding my race

Ok, Daniel, whatever you say

The strategy works out well, and planning for the hotter heat was a smart move. Christian hasn’t told you not to race with Max, so you push Daniel for the overtake.

“Come on, honey badger,” you whisper. Daniel has had the better strategy and better pacing, all day so he easily overtakes and keeps the lead through the final five laps.

Okay Daniel, last lap, Verstappen behind, keep the pace.

Does this mean I’m off the couch?

Focus.

Sorry.

And that’s P1, P1 very good, Daniel. Red Bull 1-2. You are officially off of the couch.

LET’S GO! Thank you team! I couldn’t have done it without you guys. Thanks for the brilliant strategy, and for letting me off the couch. Best wife ever.

Mhmm. Happy 10 years. Parc Ferme is clear for you, pull in so the team can celebrate.

Let’s just say that F1 TV streaming your radio broke the internet, and the drivers when they all got out of their cars and into the garages. You followed the team to wear Daniel was parking and the team pushed you to the front. Daniel celebrated there with the team, taking his helmet off and kissing you. The team wolf whistles around you.

“Go to the podium, we will celebrate with you there,” you push him in the direction of where he needs to go. Unknowingly to Daniel, Red Bull chooses you to represent them for the Constructors Trophy.

“Mate, how did you keep that a secret?” Oscar asks Daniel in the debrief room.

“It wasn’t much of a secret. Everyone in Red Bull knows most of the relationship,” Max says and Daniel nods along.

“Honestly, I don’t know how people didn’t know,” Daniel laughs. The FIA tells them to start heading out to the Podium and Daniel searches the crowd for you when he steps out, but can’t find you. He’s shocked but extremely delighted when you step out and stand beside Oscar for the Constructors trophy. The mischievous glint in his eye is a loud warning that you will be sprayed with champagne. You happily stand through the national anthems, clap when Daniel is handed the trophy, and beam with joy as you are handed the second trophy. Soon enough you are presented with champagne and the go ahead to spray it is given.

“Max!” you squeal and hide behind him as you both spray Daniel.

“Quit hiding my wife!” Daniel laughs and in a split second, your cover is gone as Max moves to spray Oscar. You and Daniel both pour the champagne in each other’s mouth.

“Ew, that’s almost as bad as if you guys were to kiss,” Max laughs. Daniel gives you a devilish smile, pulling you close to him and capturing you lips with his.

“The kids are going to be so grossed out,” you laugh and Oscar looks almost horrified.

“THE KIDS?!”

[5sospenguinqueen]

Kiss My Ass | Kevin Magnussen x Mercedes! Reader

Summary: On track, Kevin is your fiercest adversary. Off track, he likes to have you at his mercy (and in his heart).

Warnings: 18+ after the cut. Female oral. P in V. Unprotected sex. Female reader

Requested: Yes and no. People wanted a part 2 and I wanted to give it to them! You can read this as a standalone but part 1 - Suck My Balls - adds to the fun!

F1 Masterlist

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

f1 just posted

liked by lifeofsteiner, pierregasly and others

f1 kevin magnussen receives a one-race ban. magnussen will miss the azerbaijan gp as he reaches 12 penalty points in a 12 month period

3,323 comments

yn_ln ha ha

→ user she’s so messy 

→ user can you blame her? he made contact with her again, which is why he got a penalty point  liked by yn_ln

haasf1team we warned him this would happen

user kevin looks so good in that photo though. his arms 🤤

→ yn_ln are we looking at the same photo? 

georgerussell63 @/mercedesamgf1 she’s being problematic online again

→ mercedesamgf1 she’s just had a pr meeting. we’re not allowed to give one again for another week 

→ yn_ln @/georgerussell63 snitch 

olliebearman sorry, kevin, but it will be nice to be back on track again

→ yn_ln and we will be delighted to have YOU

user love how yn is acting like this is the best news she’s had all year

→ yn_ln even better than my contract renewal 

mercedesamgf1 we apologise but we have taken yn’s social media off her until baku. thank you for your understanding  liked by kevinmagnussen

yn_ln just posted

liked by kevinmagnussen, maxverstappen1 and others 

yn_ln how was everybody’s sunday? oh, mine? thank you for asking. mine was splendid

10,204 comments 

user see what happens when kevin isn’t around  liked by yn_ln 

mercedesamgf1 we’re running out of pr presentations to show you (but we’ll let you off because you’re a RACE WINNER)

→ georgerussell63 i’ll make some

→ yn_ln i don’t like you very much sometimes 

→ georgerussell63 and comments like that will be in the presentation

→ yn_ln why can’t you just say congratulations like a normal person

alex_albon that’s my girl! stunt on these hoes

→ yn_ln my only supporter on the grid 

alexandrasaintmleux that’s my girl 🥳 so happy for you

→ charles_leclerc mon coeur, no. we’re sad. she overtook me

→ yn_ln stay sad (i’ll buy you a shot later)

user not kevin liking this. they’re so messy 

→ user they’re actually the best duo on the grid. every race i look forward to the memes they’ll create together 

landonorris i did it first 

→ yn_ln why does nobody just say congratulations anymore. i won a race! 

→ maxverstappen1 what? like it’s hard

→ landonorris seems like it has been recently 

→ yn_ln and they say i’m problematic 

user she’s such a good driver when kevin isn’t deliberately trying to crash into her 

→ yn_ln thank you. everyone else calls me crazy

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

mercedesamgf1 just posted

liked by georgerussell63, danielricciardo and others

mercedesamgf1 mixed emotions in the garage after singapore. well done george on the points but a disappointing end for yn once more

3,620 comments

yn_ln why don’t you just rub salt in the wound further, admin. thank you. thank you very much 

→ georgerussell63 points points points

→ georgerussell63 why have i just had notification from hr that you made a formal complaint about me?

→ yn_ln you know why

user i swear he has it out for her at this point 

user i acc fear our girl over these next 6 races. kevin has no penalty points and no seat next year 

user how to tell kevin is back on track

user it’s giving school boy crush. pull her hair to get her to notice you

→ user they just race each other hard. they’re both stubborn and yn gives as good as she gets. they both turned into each other 

haasf1team oops? 

→ yn_ln you and your driver are on my list 

→ landonorris don’t worry. it doesn’t take up much time. i’ve been on it since 2019 

yn_ln @/georgerussell63 stop liking posts about my dnf’s this season. i keep getting notifs 

18+ !!!!

Goosebumps rippled across your bare back as his breath tickled your shoulders. He sucked a spot under your shoulder blade, watching as the skin reddened. The material of his shirt caressed your skin as he trailed kisses down your spine.

“You’ve got too many clothes on,” you chastised, rolling your shoulders back when his beard tickled your lower back. He pressed a kiss to the two divots there, pressing his thumbs in them after and marvelling at how well they fit. Like you were made for him.

“Patience, lille kriger.” Kevin whispered against your skin. His hands reached for your hips, pulling your bottom half higher. “What was it you said after your Baku win? Kevin Magnussen can…”

“...kiss my ass,” you panted, body tense in anticipation. The sheets rustled as he shuffled down the bed. His lips pressed against your left buttock before a sharp sensation zapped up your spine. You wriggled away from him, rewarding his antics with the sight of your cheeks jiggling.

“Did you just bite me?”

His hands wrapped around your ankles, yanking you back down towards him. The suddenness of the movement had your arms collapsing beneath you; your body and face landing on the mattress with a bounce.

“I didn’t say you could leave.” He took a moment to admire the reddening bite mark on your cheek. “You do have a spectacular arse.”

You turned your head to look at him but he had already ducked between your thighs. Your breath hitched when he pressed a kiss to your inner thigh. His cool breath hit your wetness when he laughed at you. His beard tickled your thighs when you attempted to close them around his head. His hands forced them apart.

“Behave yourself,” he warned.

“Or what?” You said, aiming for bravado. Unfortunately, the breathy tone in which it was said ruined that.

“Or I won’t do this.”

His tongue pressed against your slit, lapping at the wetness pooled between your thighs. He flattened his tongue, dragging it up towards your sensitive bud. A strangled gasp tore from your mouth at the unexpected contact. Kevin traced circles on your clit, suckling gently and taking pride in the way you bucked against him. Your hands twisted into the sheets, fighting to stop the moans from spilling out of you. Refusing to concede to him, to let him know how much he was affecting you.

“Come on, min skat. Let me hear you,” he grumbled against you, tongue dipping between your folds as he feasted. Your thighs burned from where his beard rubbed against them.

Kevin sank a finger inside your heat. You writhed against the sheets, breath coming out in pants but refused to make a noise. Spurred by your silence, the Haas driver added another finger, curling them in the way he knew you liked. Your back arched off the bed, a curse leaving your lips. Kevin didn’t boast about his victory, just continued to ravage you like a man starved. If there was one thing that could erase the sting of a DNF, it was the way you cried his name as you approached the edge. Teetering on the precipice, your eyes snapped open when cold air hit you. His eyes twinkled as he sucked his fingers clean, aware of what he had denied you.

“You robbed me of a podium. Again. And now you’re denying me an orgasm.”

A cheeky grin took over his face as he clambered off the bed, taking in the sight before him. You lay completely bare, ready for him to take as he pleased. Turning on your back, you propped yourself up on your elbows. A small pout formed on your bruised and swollen lips.

“Take it off,” you demanded.

“As you wish.”

In one quick movement, Kevin whipped his t-shirt off, dropping it on the pile of your clothes at his feet. Your eyes roamed the broad expanse of his chest, lingering on his tattoo and trailing down to the strained fabric of his jeans.

“And those.”

“You’re bossy when you’re waiting to be satisfied.”

“You��ve not proven you can satisfy me yet.”

His eyes narrowed at you, even as his hands moved towards his belt. You arched your brow, feigning a picture of boredom. The rapid rise and fall of your naked chest gave away just how eager you were to watch him fully disrobe. Once he was bare, you shuffled to the end of the bed and pushed up onto your knees. Your arms wound around his neck, pressing your lips to his. You nibbled on his bottom lip, revelling in the moan he let out when your tongue brushed against his.

You managed to spin the two of you, pushing him down so that he was seated on the edge of the bed. Climbing into his lap, you connected your lips again, trailing down to the underside of his jaw. Sinking down on him, both of you moaned at the feeling of your slick walls enveloping him. His hands came up to grasp your hips but he didn’t move you, allowing you to adjust to his size. Your eyes fluttered shut before your hips began to rock back and forth.

“For a man so inadequate on track,” you started, voice husky. “you don’t do a bad job between the sheets.”

Before he could reply, you raised your hips before dropping back down on him abruptly. The air was knocked out of him and a strangled grunt spilled past his lips when you repeated the harsh action.

“Fuck.” His grip on you tightened, fingers digging in. “You turned into me. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you wanted my attention.”

He sucked in a harsh breath when your nails dug into him. Your pace never faltered. Your breasts bounced as you rode him. Kevin leaned forward, taking one in his mouth. His tongue flicked across your nipple.

“You talk a lot of shit for a man who’s never won a race.”

A yelp tore from you when his teeth clamped down around your nipple, and the rhythm of your hips stuttered.

“Almost there. Come on. Just a little longer for me, love.” Kevin begged.

Your hips stilled immediately, denying yourself the pleasure you’d been chasing. It was worth it for the look on Kevin’s face.

“What did you say earlier about me not being that good?”

Humour replaced the confusion on his face as he realised that you were punishing him for his harsh words during the post-race interviews. Triumph was written across your face and he couldn't wait to wipe it off. He pulled you to his chest, arms tight around your back and flipped the pair of you. You bounced slightly, head landing on the plush pillow. Gripping both your wrists in his hand, he pinned your arms above your head. You looked up at him with wide eyes, struggling against his hold.

“Feel this?” Kevin whispered, pressing himself against your thigh. “You know just how good you are.”

With his free hand, he guided himself in you, inch by inch. He didn’t allow you to adjust to the new position before thrusting into you, slow and deep. An intimate pace to contrast your previously frantic one. He lifted your leg, bringing it to rest above his hip, allowing him to hit that spot deep inside you. You cried out, hands sliding into Kevin’s hair and pulling him close. He allowed himself to fall against you, pressing you into the mattress.

“This okay?”

”Yeah.”

His head fell to the crook of your neck, beard tickling your skin. Whispers filled the space between you.

”Good girl. You’re taking me so well.”

He continued his slow pace, each thrust hitting deep inside you. Your stomach bulged from the thickness of him bruising your walls.

“Look how beautiful you are wrapped around me.”

Soft moans and sighs filled his ear, the melody of your pleasure. A loud groan tore from Kevin’s throat when he felt you clench around him.

“You gonna cum for me, sweetheart?”

He picked up his pace slightly, hand reaching up to palm your breast. His thumb brushed over your nipple as you barrelled towards your end. Your back arched off the bed, breasts brushing his bare chest as you came with a cry of his name. The feeling of your warmth hugging him tight pushed Kevin over the edge. With one harsh thrust, his teeth sank into your shoulder as he spilled himself inside you.

~

Head resting on his chest, you listened as his heart rate doubled in pace. His arms tightened around you, pulling you closer into his side as if he feared you would run from him. Even if your legs weren’t shaking, you’re not sure you’d want to.

“I told you we’d do this again.” Kevin murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“I don’t know why you sound so proud of that.”

“Maybe I like doing this with you.”

“Yes, well I like winning races but we can’t all get what we want.” There was no bite to your comment, only friendly teasing.

Kevin’s fingers traced patterns along your thigh, relaxing your body. Your eyes drifted closed, a soft hum coming from you. He sensed your sleepiness, wondering if approaching the topic in your content state would be easier.

“Would you still do this with me if you weren’t angry at me?”

“Huh?”

“This started as hate sex, right? But, what if there wasn’t any hate in it. I don’t mean to run you off the track. You just seem to be there when things go wrong.”

“So it’s my fault?”

“No, no, no. That’s not what I meant. I mean, you are distracting but… I want to spend time with you. Outside of this room. Outside of the track.”

Silence filled the room. His heart pounded so hard in his chest that you had to move away; the sound echoing in your head. At your movement, his arms went slack around you, preparing himself for the rejection.

“I’m still mad at you…” you started, feeling bad when his face fell, “…but, I’ll let you take me out for breakfast and we’ll see how it goes.”

The only response you had was a blinding smile, your back being pressed into the mattress once more.

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

kevinmagnussen just posted

liked by hulkhulkenberg, charles_leclerc and others

kevinmagnussen jeg elsker dig (yes, we get along when we’re away from the paddock)

7,884 comments

yn_ln i love you too (but we only get along when you’re kissing my ass, not talking shit) 

yn_ln yes, ladies, the rumours are true. so just remember those arms belong to me now when you’re thirsting about them online. i see you

→ user oh god. she’s turned the energy she reserves for hating on k mag onto us

→ yn_ln no, he still gets it as well

alexandrasaintmleux okay but these are quite cute 

georgerussell63 crikey. i’m not sure the two of you pairing up is a good idea

→ yn_ln jiminy crickets! i’m not sure you commenting on my life all the time is a good idea

→ georgerussell63 you still mad about the powerpoint? 

→ kevinmagnussen she’s complained about it twice in the past hour 

landonorris did you let kevin stand in front so that he would look taller? 

→ kevinmagnussen new target acquired

→ landonorris shit

→ haasf1team kevin, no

mercedesamgf1 i think the pr team might’ve liked a heads up

→ kevinmagnussen i was told she wasn’t talking to them 

hulkhulkenberg finally. i was getting fed up of hearing you talk about her 

→ kevinmagnussen shut up, mate 

→ alex_albon she talked about him too

→ yn_ln alex! 

→ alex_albon i’m sorry but i’ve been waiting for you to admit this for months. i’m just happy that you’re happy 

user i knew that the pic in her spanish gp dump was kevin!

(Bonus)

haasf1team just posted

liked by yn_ln, hulkhulkenberg and others

haasf1team cooling off 🧊

5,879 comments

yn_ln be right back. making this my lock screen

yn_ln take this down. i can’t have other people catching onto what i’ve known all along! 

user is he looking at hulk or yn in that first pic? 

→ haasf1team yn. they shared

→ hulkhulkenberg i was kicked out

→ yn_ln i told merc to let you use mine!

→ user can’t be an ice bath when they’re both in there 🥵

user i don’t blame yn actually. i’d let him ram me off the track if he looked like that 

→ yn_ln didn’t really have a choice in the matter, love

user kevin magnussen. i was not familiar with you in that way 

→ yn_ln now make yourself unfamiliar 

user yn wasn’t joking when she threatened us on kevin’s relationship post

→ user girly is fighting these comments so fast

→ yn_ln back, i tell you 🤺 back

kevinmagnussen @/mercedesamgf1 she escaped again

→ mercedesamgf1 thank you. we’ll be revoking her social media rights again

→ yn_ln but you’re still a traitor

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

Requests open

Tag list

Only includes those who requested a Part 2 as I don't know who is comfortable with consuming this content

@steamy-smokey @1800-love-me @suckerforoldermen @dying-inside-but-its-classy

[charlottemadison42]

Clocking Out - a new short story

Crowley was indubitably the hottest guy at the office.

It was unfair. He was tall, he was angular, he was stylish, he was sophisticated; he was symmetrical except where it was cute to be crooked, and he looked young except where it was sexy to show signs of maturity. He dressed to kill and his black hair was always perfect and he wore sunglasses indoors.

Unfortunately, like most hot guys, he came across as a bit of a tool.

But even Aziraphale wouldn’t wish this on a tool. Mary from PR had the poor man cornered at the office Valentine’s Day mixer, and Mary was tipsy, and she was talking, and she was leaning in while Crowley was quite decidedly leaning away.

Aziraphale wasn’t normally one to interfere, but he felt a sort of obligation, both as part of the HR team and as someone who could never seem to find any small talk circles to join. So -- with the resignation of a man who knows that if he doesn’t personally wash the break room dishes, they will remain unwashed -- he approached.

++++++++++

A Good Omens AU, 12.5k, rated E, complete, no archive warnings apply. Enjoy!

[voxslays]

Pspspsps; not sure if you take requests... But if you do, can you write like. Vox pining and having a mega crush on the reader? However, the reader is taken. so Vox keeps seeing all the sweet, adorable things they do for their partner and is like 'why can't that be me? why am I stuck with Valentino goddamn it"

JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY

It started as a regular day for Vox—dealing with the Vees PR and HR departments, watching his cameras, and making sure the company sailed smoothly. That was until he saw a pretty doll hanging off the Radio Demon’s arm. Who was she? Since when had Alastor ever let anyone get that close to him?

It didn’t matter. Vox had now made it his personal mission to find out more information about you. He spends the day in his monitor room voogling (googling) your name and stalking your social media accounts. He can’t help the rage he feels when he finds out you’re dating Alastor—yet he doesn’t know why he feels that way.

Over the next week, he goes out of his way to bump into you in the street when Alastor is busy with other ‘things.’ At first, Vox was angry that Alastor had chosen you over him—but as he gets to know the kind, funny, and interesting person you are, he can’t find it in his software to hate you. How could he?

He watches the cute and small things you do for Alastor every day. Fetching his morning coffee, helping him cook, placing the daily newspaper on his ‘designated’ chair in the lobby, and slowly falls in love with you for that. Vox can’t help but imagine what it would be like to have such a domestic relationship with you…a relationship that is nothing like the one he has with Valentino…

Vox and Valentino are very off and on—really only being on when Angel won’t talk to Val. Vox has grown tired of being someone’s second choice and feels even worse when he sees you with Alastor. He can’t help but think to himself. ‘Why am I stuck with Val? Why can’t you just love me back?’

HAPPY ENDING ~

Alastor is a very busy (and also self-serving) man. While he does love you, I do think canon!Alastor would chose himself first in most situations. And that’s not even talking about sex. As we all know; Alastor is ace, meaning his sex drive is practically non-existent. Most of the time Alastor doesn’t even care to talk about the subject with you—and the only time you get any action is during his seasonal ruts, and he hates physical touch.

So after a fight with Alastor about how he refuses to show love through physical touch, you conveniently find Vox out on the street and the two of you talk at a local café. Vox lets you rant to him about Alastor and advises you break up with him—which you go back to the hotel and do.

Vox then offers you a job as his assistant, which you eagerly accept. Over the next few months, Vox will do everything in his power to woo you over—not to show off to Alastor (although that is a nice benefit to having you as a partner)—but because he is genuinely in love with you.

In the end, if he is able to pull it off, I think you would both be in a way happier relationship.

A/N: sorry if this is kinda bad…I haven’t posted in a bit because I was redoing all of my masterlists lol. I might one day turn this into a full fic, but for now I hope headcannons are okay. Thank you! <3

[cheriladycl01]

Ghost - Oscar Piastri x UnknownDriver! Reader Part 6

Plot: Reader is the first female F1 driver of the century, however no-one knows that as you are a ghost on the grid. You started in 2022, coming in P12 in the championship. You get moved to Red Bull Racing in 2023 with the off year for Sergio Perez.

Warnings: Talk of reading taking anti-depressants etc.

After Bahrain you still had no word from Christian on whether or not he had contract negotiations for you. However, in this time you'd had talks with Williams, Aston Martin and Mercedes all having positions open. They knew you were an incredible driver and that it wasn't just the car you were given and they really wanted you on board.

You were in a difficult position of wanting to prove yourself to the RedBull team and stay in a top team while letting opportunities being given to you get thrown away.

Saudi was a strange feeling you stormed through FP1 and FP2 being P1 and P3, however by the time Friday racing came Carlos was out the race due to having his appendix taken out. Ollie Bearman the F2 driver was announced to be taking his place right away and he was thrown in FP3.

FP3 and you were told to calm down and work with your tyres meaning you went 5th fastest rather than topping the leaderboard. Qually came around and you qualified third, your team calling you into the pits and holding you there for too long meant you couldn't get another lap in when Charles did which sent him into P2.

Once again Oscar was starting right behind you, and you could feel the pressure was on. You needed to have a great start to get up there with Max.

Sunday came and went and it was another great day for Red Bull, but not so much for you. Once again your margins were showing that you were quicker than Max right now being on fresher tyres and on the softs from a later race stop.

You for the second weekend in a row were denied an overtake and were asked to ride Max's bumper. The last few laps had tears filling in your eyes from how ridiculous this was... Max was the golden boy and you were just not contracted. You couldn't tell what would work better in your favour to try and get a contract. Follow team orders and keep this 1-2 or don't follow team orders and go for the overtake.

After talks with your race engineer you decided to obey team orders. Meaning you got your second P2 of the season.

Australia was the interesting race, both you and Max were reporting problems with the car, Max's seemingly being fixed by the time qualifying came around but you were still struggling. Your engine fully cut out after going over a bump on an out lap meaning you were starting P17, your worst qualifying yet.

"Y/N, not a great qualifying yeah?" the interviewer asks.

"Nah, P17 i think that was a pretty good run!" you joke back making your PR manager elbow you and shake her head.

"No, obviously it wasn't what myself or the team were looking for. They managed to fix Max's car for today but not mine, I know the team will be working really hard on my car now that Max's is all good and I can just hope to fight tomorrow and grab the team some points!" you nod smiling towards the camera on you.

"And any new on contract talks, i'm sure there are many teams that are looking to have you in their driver line up!" she asks and you nod.

"Yeah of course, most drivers will tell you that there are talks with all the teams and it's true. You know if you work in a office and your in HR you go see the legal department, and hospitality and the receptionists from time to time even though they aren't within your area. It's very natural to talk to the people around me so of course there are talks!" you admit and she nods insightfully.

"So the pictures of you talking to Toto Wolff, Ayao Komatsu and Mike Krack are ... not to be read into?" she pushes and you laugh.

"Honestly read as you will into them. Right now I'm focused on Red Bull, regardless of my future there!" you admit, hoping that might be the jog that Christian needed to hear to keep you in the team.

"Ooooo Oscar!" the interviewer shouts beckoning him over. You start to leave thinking your portion of the interview was over and you could move on to going home.

"Wait no! Y/N don't go, we'll interview you together!" she grins and something in your mind tells you its malicious and she's doing this on purpose to spite you. But she was really just hoping to get you both together as you'd been better than Oscar this season.

"So Oscar how does it feel having finally outqualified Y/N for the first time this season? You did really well!" she smiles and Oscar is looking everywhere but next to him, which is where you are awkwardly stood, trying to get your PR managers attention.

"Yeah i mean, she had car issues so it wasn't really on skill?" he asks more than anything else, tilting his head to the side confused.

"Yes, so the battle is pretty tense between you both especially after last year. But now Oscar your looking really high up in the constructors along with Y/N, do you think you can beat her this year?" the interviewer asks hoping to get a little bit of dramatics.

"I mean, the battle for the top field cars is slowly closing with the upgrades we're all getting so we're looking forward to closing that gap that's up there now!" he nods looking down at you to see if you had anything to add.

For the first time, in months there was a softness in his eyes you hadn't seen for ages. He nodded at you to speak but you became a stuttering mess, not even remembering the question.

"Sorry, but I'm needed!" you stutter awkwardly handing back the microphone before trotting off looking around for anyone that could help the shaking of your hands.

You were struggling to breath.

Why now, why did he make you feel like everything was okay again when it wasn't. He was your best friend and he hasn't spoken to you in months, it ... didn't feel right!

You breathing became more and more strained as you looked around for someone familiar. Your eyes dart between the different motorhomes, just looking for any one of the other drivers. You eventually made it to Red Bull trying to get to your drivers room however, a body stopped you holding you shoulders.

"Hey, great race today Y/N!" the voice of Liam comes through and you just nod, a small thank you coming from you mouth as you try to make your way around him.

"Hey, Y/N? What's up is something bothering you?" he asks not fully noticing your panicked expression.

"I'm fine, just want to get some water from my room!" you nod back towards your room and his eyes glaze over you.

"No your not okay, lets go!" he smiles taking your hand and dragging you to your drivers room.

You knew Liam was just being kind and trying to help, but right now you just really wanted to be alone and think about whatever you needed to think about.

"Water... snack ... vitamin ... ooo pill?" he asks turning to you and you look down.

"Y/N, why are you on these?" he asks with a sigh, nobody apart from your trainer knew that you were on anti-depressants. It started at the end of the 2023, with everything with Oscar and it was manageable but the anxiety of not having a contract renewed mixed with it all, you were tipped over the edge when it came to your mental health.

"You werent supposed to see them. Please don't tell anyone!" you say tears building in your eyes as you can only hope he doesn't say anything.

"It's not my place to say anything Y/N, but ... you only need ask for help and you'd get it. We all love you and I just hope you know that!" he smiles pulling you in for a hug, one that felt genuine and like he was putting all of his comfort into it.

"Thank you Liam!" you say softly before tears roll down your race onto his Racing Bulls team shirt.

"Its okay, I get it!" he smiles down at you as he hands you the water, snack and pills he pulled out.

"Sometimes, i just wish i was Ghost again, it was easier back then" you harshly laugh wiping the tears out your eyes.

"Ghost, or Y/N you are still the same driver ... still have the same heart of gold" he smiles and you smile back thankful for the needed compliment.

"So, don't turn round and tell me this ... is boy troubles!" he laughs and you look down laughing a little.

"Well it's safe to say all of my problems are with men right now... so yeah we'll go with 'boy' troubles!" you joke.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall l @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

[lovekabaneri]

Hot Rod and the Lost Light in TF Mecha AU

Inspired by @keferon 's Mech Pilot Jazz AU and all the other fics shared here and on ao3, plus some really good ideas and fanart!

I was really inspired after reading the Hot Rod and Lost Light posts, where he's a titan and Roddy is just... this tiny speck of a human next to the titan, yet they somehow connect! So I wrote this! These are just rough drafts and ideas I have in my head for now. Will see if I write more on them.

-Richie Torres or Hot Rod, as he preferred to be called, was a hyperactive kid from the very beginning. He always seemed to be running at 110% to the dismay of his parents whenever they had to get him to bed. Before the invasion, he dreamed to be an athlete, then a doctor like in those medical dramas, then a fighter jet pilot, then to be a pirate or a sailor, then an astronaut, basically every profession that seemed to be action-packed and interesting. When the aliens arrived and the mech program started, it was like something in his mind clicked “This it what I want to do! This is the right thing for me!” and he knew what he wanted to work as. He became a volunteer at 21, then became an official pilot at 23 after 2 years of training and prep for a Neurolink implant. His first connection was overwhelming and he got a serious nosebleed after he was done but for the first time he felt like he found somewhere where he fits. His second time is much better and he’s a natural pilot. Then he gets to an actual battlefield after the test period he had to do to see if his brain would not turn to mush, and he somehow makes his mech catch on fire, the next time it repeats, again and again but he always gets out fine. Everyone is baffled because there shouldn’t even be anything to combust like that in a robot that was mostly metal. They can’t deny his results though, so they start building a custom mech, covered with as much fire-resistant material, then they start adding multiple exhaust pipes and vents to deal with the overheating, then metal rods and ports to expel even more of the heat. Eventually being on fire becomes Hot Rod’s thing, hence how he got the nickname, because his mech was fire and literally the only mech in the US force that used superheated air and fire to roast the aliens on the battlefield.

-He and Jazz become bffs as they both are natural at driving their mechs like it is a second skin, they both like music and sports, they both hate and fear Shockwave and are just bros that like vibing together. When Jazz is lost in space, Hot Rod is pissed and makes in HR’s problem, so he’s put on a short leave to ‘cool off’, like he could ever cool off! He takes out his frustration through training, fighting aliens even more aggressively and going out on extreme climbing.

-After a really bad week, troubles with the superiors, reports, pr stunts, photoshoots, seeing First Aid pulled out panicked and bleeding out of Vortex after the las surprise invasion where the haunted mech was almost smashed and forced to retreat, Hot Rod had to let off all the steam or he felt like his mech would spontaneously combust when he links again. He takes a few days off with permission and a note from Ratchet. Despite being retired, the old doc was still on call in emergencies and in Hot Rod’s phone, so he really owed one to the grumpy medic. Roddy goes hiking alone in the mountains, since he just needed time away from people. He likes things extreme, so after setting up camp, he goes climbing up the cliffs – it is steep, it is dangerous and he’s all alone, so he’s screwed if something happens to him but he doesn’t care, he just needed to let all the pent-up energy out. He’s pretty high up and away from any of the hiking trails or usual climbing spots when he slips and his handhold breaks off. He falls down a crevice and the only reason he’s not dead is the safety rope that was holding by literally the very last pin after he plummeted down. He’s scratched and a bit banged up but alive. He tries to get back up but the friction against the sharp rocks caused his rope to start breaking, so Hot Rod is forced to quickly find a stable place to stand, so he doesn’t fall and die. He’s all alone, in a crevasse between the rocks, sitting on a small ledge, barely big enough to hold him. He has to get out but his phone doesn’t have signal and he barely had any food or water to last him until someone might find him, if he was ever found.

-He decides to risk it and using his surviving gear and rock-climbing skills, he continues on, looking for a way out of this giant crack in the rocky mountain. As he goes further, he notices the crevasse actually has a flat bottom and it leads to some cave. It was too steep and risky to climb up, hence why he got low enough to see the bottom, but when he touches the ground with his feet, he feels a shiver/shock and almost like a breeze. He doesn’t know what but something from further in is calling him, he’s compelled to go further. He ends up in a large cave system, hidden until now from humans, and then, lodged within the rocks and dirt is an absolutely massive alien ship, the biggest Hot Rod has ever seen, (since until then aliens just opened portals or at most sent drones) bigger than the mech hangar at base, probably! He was scared but also awed by the sight. He was in wonder how such a ship was hidden from humanity for so long, how many millennia was this ship buried there? He approached the odd, slightly blocky, white alien ship, he notices some odd, faded letters he didn’t recognize on the side, done with red paint along with a face-shaped symbol that had to be some emblem. The ship was a bit of a wreck and obviously no one had been there in a long time, hence why he strode in so confidently, everything was dark and he had to use a flashlight. The halls, the doors, the items inside were all massive, it was big enough for mechs to casually walk through. “Are all aliens just giants?! Why did we get the short stick?!” – he says to himself.

-Hot Rod wanders for a long time, the ship was that massive, when he stumbles into a circular room after deciding to crawl through a vent, he was also a bit lost, it is mostly empty with some chairs and odd devices but he felt something different inside. It was like the air itself was charged with some energy. (It is the Lost Light’s control room but he doesn’t know that, yet!) He feels his hair stand up, like with static electricity and the feeling kept getting stronger as he got closer to the platform in the middle. He is curious and decides to climb up on the platform and walk around, maybe touch something. It is then that he places two hands on the metal below and he feels like a shock has run through his system. Suddenly the humm in the air becomes louder, lights start to flicker and slowly come to life, the whole ship seems to almost be groaning as the systems boot up. There’s almost a *thrum-thrumm* sound just ECHOING through the whole place. Hot Rod’s reaction is panic and “OH SHIT!” and he just jumps off and runs back. [sjnha…HHJsaonxc nc?] some gibberish sounds from somewhere above and Hot Rod just books it out of there as fast as he can, and he actually finds his way out too easily. Somehow, in his panic, he also found a way out of the cave, which was narrow and well-hidden in the forest between a few trees. He goes back to his camp and goes back to his home right after that. But even days later he can’t stop but think of the strange alien ship, there’s also this… warm, buzzing feeling in his chest, somewhere and he realized that it just FEELS RIGHT!

-Lost Light was a titan and a ship, its crew was part of the Autobots and helped fight for the cause but after an incident, it went MIA, thought to have been destroyed, along with its crew and previous captain and Cityspeaker – Rodimus Prime. But it actually was not destroyed, it crashed on Earth a few million years ago and was simply dormant after the shock caused by Rodimus’ offlining. BUT! The Lost Light woke up! He felt the connection! His processor was booting up and even if all his systems were not yet online and he was damaged and his nanites would need a while to repair him to a completely functional state, he was alive and woke up! His processor was jumpstarted when he felt that old connection light up with energy and life, just like when Rodimus connected with him! It felt like a dream or was this just his imagination? Was the captain really alive?! His systems were still booting up when he felt that small, bright, blazing spot in his control room jolt and run off somewhere [Captain… is that you?]  he asked but the spark didn’t stop, it continued moving, the Lost Light just opened a few doors to one of his entrances. He couldn’t do much more but to observe as his Cityspeaker left in a hurry, he wanted to follow but he was damaged and couldn’t move, even if he desperately wanted the captain back. The only thing that assured him it was not a dream or a glitch was the fact he still felt the connection with his captain with his spark and knew that wherever the captain was, he was alright.

-Hot Rod can now dream of the Lost Light and sometimes communicates with him in his sleep through their connection, playing off some ‘human technically have EM fields’ and a bit of reincarnation stuff, but thinks it is a dream, until Jazz comes back and/or he finds out Ratchet has alien robot roommate? He tells them he found an alien ship and that maybe they can use it to get back home when the government goes after them after Jazz saves Prowl.

-Shockwave makes deal with the Quintessons, since he’s crazy and has no morals, only science and their offer was better than the army’s. He takes control over the mechs and pilots through the link. Vortex and First Aid try and escape the dream together. Ratchet and Drift along with the rest of the staff organize a rescue. Jazz and Prowl manage to save themselves and go help. Eventually, First Aid and Vortex bruteforce their way out but Vortex will miss having hand after waking up. Hot Rod is trapped and panicking, the Lost Light feels it and the titan has had enough, so the Lost Light flies out of the cave with the grace of a giant alien ship and goes to save his Cityspeaker, because he just found the Captain and he was not losing him again! Needless to say, everyone is shocked, including the bots when the ship flies in and slams into one of the Quintesson ships flying overhead, then transforms into a giant robot. “There were still titans out there?!” – one of the bots asks in shock, since they all thought all titans were gone. Hot Rod is saved and the other pilots are freed from Shockwave’s control. Hot Rod finally sees the Lost Light in person while in his robot mode and Hot Rod is just… this tiny speck on the titan’s finger, but he immediately knows what to do, goes in and with the help of the Lost Light, they fight off the invading Quint fleet.

-Not sure if Roddy and Jazz would be Avatar-ed together or not but it would be cool idea and Rodimus Prime returning from the dead and reincarnation was something I really enjoyed! Jazz just has to be able to stay with Prowl forever, plus I liked the idea of him becoming a cybertronian in the end, so with some Allspark/Space alien magic mumbo jumbo and boom! You got a couple of brave, selfless humans being cybertronians! Jazz for sure would get injured in the final battle and almost die before becoming a bot.

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (8) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n all aboard the speculation train

masterlist | last part | part 8 | next part

INSTAGRAM

selinabui

liked by oscarpiastri and 312,294 others

selinabui somehow @.rollingstone thought it would be an amazing idea to slap me on their cover?? anyways may 2024 🔜 it has an exclusive interview with urs truly p.s. whoever came up with that nickname for me deserves a raise ♥️♥️♥️ tagged: rollingstone, shotsbynadia, michealpollard, lilybeehair and jesszhang_

oscarpiastri Forgot how to breathe for a sec ↳ tina_kim @ oscarpiastri ur so real for this

linasgirl4 'the speakeasy siren'??? 😮‍💨

eb_jonno i'm confused by your dress ↳ selinabui @eb_jonno i was confused as well, don't worry about it, just admire how good i look

TWITTER

↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 49m fork found in kitchen, we had to wait over three years for a sophomore album, we'll live ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 47m but then again... no 'new' music makes me think that lina is being sneaky again

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 28m too many people talking about the 'no new music' bit of the interview and not enough talking about how oscar's going to drive lina to florence after imola ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 27m i didn't think it would be possible, but i think i just heard this woman giggle over a man through my phone via a printed interview

amie <3 @mieflrs · 2h it's actually so insane how smoothly the empty bottles pr team buried all the tommy talk. i didn't even notice bc they moved so naturally to 'chris and eb reunion??' and then the rolling stones cover + interview like they just dropped us better things to talk about ↳ amie <3 @mieflrs · 2h slay empty bottles pr team, i really appreciate y'all 🫶

REDDIT

r/EmptyBottles · Posted by u/luckyluna9364 5 hours ago Lina x Oscar Timeline

Has anyone worked out the relationship timeline for Lina and Oscar? I've been talking to some of my F1 friends, and there's so much confusion about how and when they met because these two people have barely been in the same country at the same time. This is, of course, if we go off the common perception that Zhou Guanyu was definitely the person who introduced them.

buisms84 · 4 hr. ago op i was literally just thinking about this!! lina's been pretty much stuck in california since the pandemic and oscar flies around for races all the time, it's pretty possible that they didn't meet first but rather started texting? but then when did they start going out because they clearly look familiar with each other. fantstic013 · 4 hr. ago streets are saying as early as silverstone 2023 👀 but we all know lina is super secretive about her current relationships (bar whatever mess thomas howard was)

summersweettea1389 · 3 hr. ago i think the confirmed timeline is what we've all been experiencing these past few months. like there seems to be no other indicator they were linked, even platonically, before that insane hard launch. luckyluna9364 OP · 3 hr. ago I know that Lina can be really sneaky but she also loves messing with us, so I'm convinced she was subtly soft-launching him and we all didn't notice. But you know what I found most strange? Right before the hard launch, a bunch of different new sites were publishing rumours, I'm not super online, but were there rumours earlier? whatthekermitdid · 3 hr. ago ur talking about the rumors of them over the holiday season when they both happened to be at the same party but that was debunked ages ago - they went with different ppl but they may have met there?

TWITTER

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 5h no, i don't think u understand, i'm actually SCREECHING over oscar's answer to the 'texting the wrong person' question from the never have i ever video

↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 5h I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM I SWEAR 🥹

↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2h 'most awkward conversation of my life'??? 'not the best way to confess'??? SELINA WHAT DID U SAY TO THIS MAN 😭 ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 3h NO I NEEEED TO KNOW HOW SHE REACTED

lina !!! @EB_selina · 48m everyone keeps tagging/sending me the clip of oscar talking about accidentally texting me about me. guys, i was there, i know it happened, and i will be taking my reaction to the grave ↳ Oscar Piastri @ OscarPiastri · 12m She's embarrassed because she ghosted me for like a week ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 11m sir why are u lying???

june @linafesting · 2h finding out that oscalina's talking stage was oscar giggling and texting his friends how much he liked her and lina ghosting him after an accidental confession is pure comedy ↳ june @linafesting · 2h oscalina, the couple that keeps on giving us anything but photos together

↳ clovie @ luvyouvie · 57m wait where did lina mention oscar? ↳ li(n)a @meliabelrose · 44m rolling stone interview, she mentions him like 8 times

REDDIT

r/EmptyBottles · Posted by u/luckyluna9364 3 days ago Lina x Oscar Timeline [read new comments]

whatthekermitdid · 5 hr. ago ok so my f1 friend just told me that the never have i ever video was filmed like in february (or earlier) which means that oscalina were going out since at least then BUT (and maybe i'm delulu) i couldn't help but notice that he's v calm about it like it happened a long time ago which is really no help to this timeline

niaphilia283 · 3 hr. ago not to sound clinically insane but have we considered that they've been together for a lot longer than we imagined? thinking logically, selina isn't the type of person to so publically acknowledge a new boyfriend - she didn't even mention tommy until like seven months - and judging by her recent behaviour (the hard launch, the dedicated performance, the birthday instagram post) she's either down so astronomically bad she'll never recover from it OR they've been together for at least two years luckyluna9364 OP · 3 hr. ago if they've been tgt for even longer than ONE year i'd actually lose it bc there's noooo way lina would be that quiet about it niaphilia283 · 3 hr. ago wait i just remembered that two years ago would be around when tommy got engaged and lina def would've made a big deal about any relationship my bad

TWITTER

clara @ zgy24 · 2h these photoshoots have the same vibe and it was the first thing i thought of 😭

lina for elle china zhou for champion

↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 1h what a copycat @ZhouGuanyu24 😒 ↳ 周冠宇 | Zhou Guanyu 🇨🇳 @ZhouGuanyu24 · 1h I did it better

MESSAGES

from the phone of oscar piastri

TWITTER

lina !!! @EB_selina · 2h been feeling mean lately, how much trouble should i cause? ↳ EB BAR @theemptybottlesbar · 2h selina pls have mercy MERCY I BEG

kayla @luna_apocolypse · 1h it's been an hour since that cryptic ass tweet, i'm shaking lina what do you have up your sleeve

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 32m OH MY GOD WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY????

EB BAR @theemptybottlesbar · 43m We'd like to extend our condolences to @ McLarenF1, we're working on getting her media training, but it doesn't seem to be working ↳ McLaren @ McLarenF1 · 39m We're all in this together 🥹 ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 42m WHAT DID SHE DO???? IS IT THE LIVE?? WHAT DID SHE SAY IM AT WORK SELINA HOW COULD U DO THIS TO ME

amie <3 @mieflrs · 29m i just know that pr team has being worked TO DEATH this past week like RIP

INSTAGRAM selinabui started a live video

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

REDDIT

r/EmptyBottles · Posted by u/luckyluna9364 6 days ago Lina x Oscar Timeline [read new comments]

luckyluna9364 OP · 1 hr. ago this thread is getting super active after lina's livestream so i'm doing my best to summarise what ppl are saying: - a much longer relationship than anticipated is highly possible; lina was still pretty vague with the timing all she really said was 'long enough' what long enough is to her is up to debate (most are keeping the benchmark at 7mo) - lina mentioned her aunt (zhou guanyu's mother) has invited them to have dinner in shanghai which means that not only has lina's family known and met oscar but also that lina is stopping over in shanghai for a bit before performing in shenzhen (exciting news for the oscalina stans) - her freezing up suggests that she and oscar were keeping a lot of the relationship private or even secret for a while and it was genuinely a mistaken slip that wasn't at all supposed to happen (one can only wonder how oscar reacted) - a couple people think that EB planned the tour schedule around the F1 calendar (there are quite a few overlaps in races and shows) which would mean that they were together BEFORE tour announcement which was back in november - one user is betting their life savings that they met before oscar's f1 debut, for that user's sake i hope it's true.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee @urfavsgf

[artsy-hobbitses]

Are there any facts or headcanons you can share about Megatron?

-Cracks knuckles- By which you mean old man Morgantron, boy do I.

LOVES dogs. Thaddeus/Terminus used to own a mining dog that would help pull carts, a Bernese Mountain named Boudicca which both he and a young Morgan would dote over. While Bouda passed away in his late teens, that childish adoration for dogs hasn't diminished, and has instead been transferred to Old Fella---an old pit bull rescued and initially intended for rehoming by Barricade/Barrin, who eventually couldn't find the heart to give him up. Megs often has Old Fella curled up at his feet while he's catching up on reading in his free time.

Has a surprising sweet tooth. Sugar was a luxury in Morgan's childhood and not something Thaddeus couldn't afford very often on miner pay, and what sweet food was common there were coal miner cakes… which are loved but an acquired taste. His guilty pleasures include Mars Bars which a young!Omar/OP would share with him through the fence that separated them as children, and more poignantly, Brooklyn-style Blackout Cake since it was tradition for Thaddeus to get him a slice of it for his birthday every year until they were shipped off to Messatine.

Within Morgan's personal office in a glass case is an old blood-spattered and battered copy of Umar ibn al-Khattâb: His Life and Times (Volume One). This is the very first book he read outside of what was greenlit/approved for the manual class and was lent to him decades ago by a young Omar, who threw it over the fence they would talk through, for him to catch. It had been confiscated from him during a spotcheck, but he found it years and years later in a HR contraband warehouse and he's kept it guarded ever since. What he doesn't know is that Omar still has the second volume of that book (there are two) kept in the same manner.

Secretly listens in on Omar's increasingly popular book club sessions (Part of an Autobot PR programme after they figured out that Omar had a voice fit for ASMR and people genuinely wanted to hear him read to them) on the radio during nights where he's feeling particularly lonely and melancholy.

Is an excellent fiddler. However, was not allowed to bring his instrument to Messatine and hasn't played since.

Morgan can cook, but is primarily relegated to British pub fare. Makes a mean steak and ale pie, one of his favorite foods. He also serves potential Decepticon recruits slices of coal miner cake he bakes during their first meet/interview (he does not tell them he baked it) to see how they react. If they act like they're too good for the humble bit of joy miners like him partook in, they're out.

Morgan does not have a great sense of direction, because when you're living 80% of your life underground, everything looks the same and you simply follow the neatly delineated cart tracks to your workplace or berth. Tracks above ground ie. roads are. Messy, and very confusing. He gets lost more easily than one might expect.

He has however, a sharper than usual sense of smell, which helped him out a lot as a miner when it came to seeking out fresh air and quickly identifying toxic or flammable gases emitted underground.

He is also in Grimlock/Graeme's team of Sometimes Cannibalism Is Correct. Those guards who beat to death a miner in front of him while he was on Mining Outpost C-12? He found two of them years and years later (he never forgot their voices over the miner's pleas) as a gladiator, killed the one who struck the first blow and ate their heart (they had no hearts to begin with, he surmises, so really, they're not missing anything) while the other watched. This was symbolic of his hatred for them, but also to loosen the remaining guard's lips about Decimus' movements after the incident up to this point, and for sure, it worked.

No longer gets drunk (he assumes his gladiatorial 'upgrades' are part of the reason for this), deeply wishes he still could sometimes.

Morgan forged his own armor pieces as a gladiator, and this is something that has carried on into the present, as he helps forge the armor the inner circle Deceptions wear, which is then programmed by Shockwave (the exception is Starscream/Stefan, who has been using a prototype armored flightsuit made by Senator Shockwave/Sharifuddin from day one). He uses this time as a one on one session to get to know them better.

Still visits the little public library in the Dead End that Omar set up in honor of him every now and then when he needs somewhere quiet to collect his thoughts and slog through paperwork.

Is the asshole who dog-ears books, but in his defense, he'd never seen a book in his community as a child that wasn't banged up to hell and back---what mattered were the contents. The SOLE exception here is the book that OP gave him and was confiscated from him. It's more than a book; it's a gift from his oldest friend.

"You didn't ask, I don't see why it's an issue" gay. Though one can't tell from first glance because Impactor will bring up the time that he booked a male and female stripper for Megs as a 20th birthday surprise/joke, and came back to find both of them engrossed listening to Megs reading his notes for Towards Peace and discussing it between the three of them. Basically, he's Enjolras (cause above all) for everything and everyone except Prime.

If you're an enemy he respects, he'll kill you himself and make it quick. If he hates you, he'll prolong it. If you don't register on his radar/aren't worth the effort, you get Tarn.

Suffers from a mild case of black lung carried over from his mining days, which only becomes more apparent in his 50s, as his healing factor slowly decreases.

[tgmsunmontue]

I never knew I was missing you 1/9

Jake is just trying to find a connection. Shame the guy he connects with the most is lying about his identity online; because he sure as hell isn't A-list Hollywood star Bradley Bradshaw.

PART ONE

                Bradley hadn’t ever meant to become famous. He’d just been minding his own business, doing his own thing and adding some extra curriculars to his schedule to pad his USNA application when someone had sidled up to him after the school production and asked him if he’d ever considered doing it professionally.

                He’d been so confused he’d had to ask do what professionally?

                Act.

                Apparently, he has a flair for the dramatic.

                When he’d relayed this, Ice had rolled his eyes and looked at Mav and muttered I wonder where he gets that from and Mav had, for some reason, just snapped his teeth and then said truly a mystery.

                Bradley had just decided it was safer to ignore them and leave them to their dramatics, because who did they think they were kidding if they weren’t equally dramatic? So he figured he’d give it a shot. He had a year left of high school, and he could delay joining the Navy. Weirdly Maverick had been incredibly supportive, almost pushing him toward it, but he had left all his options open, and then… Well, he’d been asked to do a screen test, and then he’d done an audition and reading, which had then spiraled into being the previously unknown but now new-and-upcoming-star of Hollywood.

                All that is over ten years ago now, he’s closing in on thirty, regularly on the most eligible bachelor and sexiest men lists to his mortification, and he’s also considered one of the most billable actors. He was open about his sexuality from the start, despite his agent advising him against it. So he’d found a new agent, who had crafted a very well worded statement which meant that Bradley has remained scandal free because he’s… Well, he’s pretty boring really. When he takes people out on dates they seem to think he’s going to be like one the characters he plays, and are always a little (or a lot) disappointed when they realize that Bradley is just… well, Bradley.

                “I made you a dating profile,” Callie says, slapping his phone onto his chest and Bradley grabs for it before it can slide down and hit the floor.

                “You did what now?”

                “A dating profile.”

                “Yeah. Sorry, I got that part. I meant why?”

                “Because you haven’t left the house for anything other than work in three weeks.”

                “So? I’ve been keeping busy. Plus I don’t have trouble finding someone to date. When I actually want to go on a date.”

                “Uh…”

                “What?”

                “I’d like to hold up exhibits A through D. Your last relationship and the last three dates you went on. All fucking disasters. If not PR wise, then romantically and-or sexually. Disasters. With a capital D.”

                “And he wants another type of D!” Neil calls out and Bradley rolls his eyes, because of course Neil is chipping in.

                “Do I have an HR department? Can I report you both to HR?”

                “Nope. You’re stuck with us. Your fault for hiring people who know you’re just a giant nerd with no game whatsoever,” Callie says with a grin as she settles on the sofa beside him and shoves her cold feet under his thighs.

                Bradley groans, he hates it when they’re right.

…            …            …

                Jake flicks through the profiles, looking for something to catch his attention. He doesn’t need perfect looking bodies, or dick-pics, he sees enough of both in the locker room. Plus he gets plenty of unsolicited dick-pics whenever he’s horny enough to reinstall Tinder and got looking for something uncomplicated. Of course, as he’s gotten older he wouldn’t mind something a bit more complicated, but some people like having a partner or boyfriend that is around, and Jake isn’t a lot of the time. So his job can be somewhat of a deal breaker, has been in nearly all his past relationships. He reads over his profile and he should probably take out GGG if he wants to be serious about something more but… It’s still true.

GGG Flyboy looking for something a little more heavy duty than a ONS but only in town for six weeks.

                He keeps scrolling and then there’s a picture of A-list actor Bradley Bradshaw and he snorts in amusement. He sure as fuck wouldn’t be on a fucking dating app if he was Bradley Bradshaw. He reads the profile and laughs again.

Half-decent actor, boring AF human. Hobbies include avoiding social interactions with people I don’t know, pinball machine restoration and building model planes. WLTM genuine M or F for dating to something more serious.

                He’s got nothing better to do, so he fires off a message.

>>No way you’re actually Bradley Bradshaw. Catfishing is illegal you know.

>>But I am actually Bradley Bradshaw.

>>Yeah, and I’m a veterinarian and part-time fire fighter.

>>Pretty sure Bradley Bradshaw wouldn’t be admitting to the world that his favorite past times are building model airplanes and restoring pinball machines.

>>Also if you don’t like social interactions with people you don’t know then a dating app is NOT the place for you.

>>I like pinball machines.

>>Well. I like playing pinball. The machines are just kind of necessary for that and sometimes I need some quiet time.

>>Plus this app wasn’t my idea. My friend made my profile.

>>Sure buddy.

>>Your ‘friend’ has some mad photoshop skills though.

>>Legit looks like Bradshaw is working on that pinball machine.

>>That’s an original Lumet. And I am working on it.

>>Not the oldest one I have, but the one that needs the most work.

>>Sure. Okay.

>>So what do you do?

>>I’m in the Navy.

                Jake settles back, wonders if the guy has even bothered reading his profile.

>>Huh. Flyboy. Aviator then?

                There’s his answer.

>>Yep. What do you do?

>>Restore pinball machines and lie about my identity on dating apps apparently.

                Jake laughs, and at least the guy has got a good sense of humor, even if what he’s doing is illegal. Jake’s never been that much of a stickler and he’s not hurting anyone.

>>Also said you build model planes. What kind? Vested interest and legit first hand knowledge….

>>Wait, your username is Brad2lover? You’re a fan?

>>Yeah, hello, I’m not blind. Guy’s scorching hot. And yeah, I guess I’m a fan. But he can do whatever the fuck he wants when he’s not working.

>>Except restore pinball machines. That’s the step too far?

>>He wouldn’t be using a dating app to hook up.

>>Wouldn’t need to.

>>You’d think that wouldn’t you.

>>And not looking to just hook up.

                Jake rolls his eyes. He could fucking start be being honest with who he is, but he feels like he might as well be talking to a brick wall with as far as he’s been getting there. So he’ll talk.

>>Well, I am and I am not…

>>?

>>Vague.

>>Well. I’ve got six weeks leave. I’d like to find something more than hooking up, but most people need more than six weeks to want a relationship, so I’m…

>>In a catch-22 situation.

>>So going to try meeting someone on this app and get to know them and then… what?

>>You’re still going to be deployed again for months on end.

>>Yeah, no shit. Got to at least try though right?

>>Might get lucky.

TWO

[mariacallous]

“She’s really giving throwback oblivious mean girl, it’s kind of amazing.” “Omg her saying she got her husband involved, she is SO that woman.” I would love to tell you that these comments, written this summer about Blake Lively, the lead actor in domestic violence drama It Ends With Us, were posted on Reddit by some anonymous misogynistic troll.

Lively had made what looked like tone-deaf promotional appearances to push her haircare and drinks line alongside the film. It was revealed that she had had a scene rewritten by her husband, actor/director Ryan Reynolds, and that she took control over the final cut, which also featured a song by her best friend, Taylor Swift. Everything from Lively’s conduct to her predilection for florals seemed like fair game, spawning a vast amount of negative discourse and tanking her reputation. But the comments above were texts written by me, made in my most active group chat.

On Saturday, Lively filed a complaint with the California civil rights department against Justin Baldoni, both the film’s director and her male co-lead, producer Jamey Heath, production company Wayfarer Studios and its public relations/crisis management retinue, alleging that they actively sought to harm her reputation to pre-empt any possibility of her going public with an HR complaint she made during the film’s making.

Alleging the violation of physical boundaries, sexual and inappropriate comments and the absence of intimacy coordination, the court filing is an astonishing read. It claims that Heath showed Lively unsolicited footage of his wife giving birth as they filmed a scene where her character does so; that Baldoni’s “best friend” was drafted in to play the obstetrician-gynaecologist in that scene, in which Lively was “nearly nude” in front of dozens of crew; that Baldoni talked to her about non-consensual sexual encounters; that he wept in her trailer over reactions to paparazzi photos from shooting that called her old and unattractive, prompting her to remind him that in those scenes her character had just been abused by her husband, and that she should look authentically distressed, not “hot”.

In January, prior to resuming filming after the Writers Guild of America strike, a meeting was held in which Lively sought to have 30 new set protections implemented. Wayfarer said: “Although our perspective differs in many aspects, ensuring a safe environment for all is paramount, irrespective of differing views. Regarding your outlined requests, we find most of them not only reasonable but also essential for the benefit of all parties involved.” One of those protections was that Lively should not be subject to retaliatory action for speaking out. Instead, her complaint seeks to illustrate that the parties behind the film allegedly engaged PR and crisis management – including a company that has represented Johnny Depp and is partly funded by music mogul Scooter Braun, who bought the masters to Swift’s first six albums – to destroy Lively’s reputation via media and social media manipulation.

“You know we can bury anyone,” crisis management expert Melissa Nathan wrote to PR executive Jennifer Abel, one of thousands of messages subpoenaed by Lively. (Bryan Freedman, a lawyer for Baldoni, called the accusations “categorically false”, saying a crisis manager was brought in due to “multiple demands and threats” allegedly made by Lively.)

In a subsequent message, Nathan told Abel that Baldoni didn’t realise how lucky he was given the allegations they had heard about his on-set conduct: “the whispering in the ear the sexual connotations like Jesus fucking Christ”.

While the film’s stars were told to keep their promotional activities positive and uplifting – “grab your friends, wear your florals and head out to see it,” Lively said in a promotional video – Baldoni, who most of the cast had unfollowed on social media, as fans had noticed, positioned himself as a feminist ally engaged with domestic violence issues. In response to the social media response “really ramping up” in terms of criticism of Lively, Nathan texted Abel: “It’s actually sad because it just shows you have people really want to hate on women.” A “scenario planning” document by Nathan’s firm, TAG PR, said it could “explore planting stories about the weaponisation of feminism and how people in [Lively’s] circle like Taylor Swift have been accused of utilising these tactics to ‘bully’ into getting what they want.” Baldoni told Heath that he “didn’t love” the document because it didn’t leave him feeling sufficiently protected.

“The weaponisation of the ‘weaponisation of feminism’.” That is how a friend in our group chat put it as we pored over the New York Times report that broke the news of Lively’s allegations and the subsequent release of her entire complaint; as we looked back, horrified, on what we had said about her in recent months (entirely in private, I hasten to add). We realised the degree to which a group of supposedly media-literate journalists were potentially manipulated by a confected misogynistic narrative; how persistent and pernicious internalised misogyny can be when another woman doesn’t meet your standards.

Of course, feminism can be weaponised and leveraged for personal gain. The flourishing of pop-cultural feminism a decade ago paved the way for “girlboss” and lean-in “feminism”, which didn’t fight for much more than a woman’s right to act and earn as rapaciously as men; it’s now considered a joke, with even girlboss creator, Sophia Amoruso, distancing herself from it in ��� interviews to promote her new venture capital firm. These are nuanced conversations about not allowing a fight for equality, respect and safety to be seized for self-gain. But the idea of the Hollywood and PR machines perverting that concept to discredit a woman apparently intent on ensuring the safety of herself and others – on the chaotic set of a film about ending cycles of domestic abuse – is a level of 4D chess that is terrifying in its imperceptibility, effectiveness and potential prevalence.

There is a chilling disconnect in the way the crisis and publicity parties rejoice in their apparent PR victory – “So much mixed messaging It’s actually really funny if you think about it,” Nathan texted Abel – and the covert warfare they allegedly used to manipulate the tabloid media into parroting their narrative. “This went so well I am fucking dying … We have the four majors standing down on HR complaint,” Nathan told Abel. When MailOnline published a piece in August asking “Is Blake Lively set to be CANCELLED?” Abel texted Nathan: “You really outdid yourself with this piece.” These methods are deadly, acutely attuned to how to form and nurture media and social media sentiment against a woman. As Taylor Lorenz writes in her newsletter User Mag, it takes its cues directly from the Gamergate playbook.

How many women has this happened to? How many smear campaigns have seduced our most base and ungenerous instincts into swallowing their line? How many male directors and actors successfully positioned themselves as feminist allies post-#MeToo for cynical reasons? Beyond celebrity narratives, how has this affected how we perceive the women in our own lives? Culturally, we seem to have progressed – rather,regressed – from ostracising figures who act badly to grasping for politically legible ways to take against anyone whose greatest crime might be “seeming a bit annoying”. Is someone “not a girl’s girl”, as you often hear online, or do they just have different values to you? Does their behaviour just feel confrontational and uncomfortable to you because it might reflect your own insecurities?

Lively’s complaint has left my head spinning. What can you really trust? How do we question accepted narratives without descending into tin-hatted conspiracy theory? Why do so many people hate women this much? How much internalised misogyny roils under my own skin every day? I’d like to reach for a cute ending, to say that through assiduous, informed questioning and acute media literacy, cases like Lively’s might, you know, end with us. But the truth is I don’t think we stand a chance.

[doromoni]

Burnt Pan Shenanigans | CL16

Ship: Charles Leclerc x chef! reader

Warnings : slight cursing

Genre : fluff

Summary : Charles is “secretly” crushing on the famous celebrity chef … maybe a little too much.

Masterlist

Y/N had no idea why a racing team had reached out to her proposing a collaboration. She for one couldn’t connect cooking or anything of her profession to the sport of high speed car racing. The vague email didn’t help either . Nevertheless, it had piqued her interest and had decided to keep in contact with the Formula 1 team , asking for more details of the project.

She is going to be featured as a special guest for Ferrari’s C2 challenge. Her task is to teach the 2 drivers on how to cook her favorite dish, blindfolded. The only problem was that she knew nothing about what a C2 challenge is and who the drivers where!

Deciding to actually do some form of research to avoid looking stupid and somehow show a professional front to the Ferrari drivers, Y/N had plopped herself on the couch laptop at hand, Y/N had then started to search the web and had clicked on the first video she had saw .

Not long after , her stomach had began to hurt from laughter as the driver , she now knew was named Charles confidently shout “ Chicken!” To what clearly was an emoji of a turkey.

One video turned to into two , and two became four. Without her knowing she had binged every episode of C2. What can you say? You were hooked — how can you not? The drivers are adorable.

“ Wow they are freakishly gorgeous” Y/N tilted her head as she stared at the two Ferrari drivers. They were both equally captivating in their own way but she can’t help but gravitate towards the other —The one with blue eyes, a dreamy smile and dazzling hair.

—

***

” once the side of the chicken gets to that delicate caramelized brown, and you can smell the aroma in the air — it means that it is seared and it’s time to flip it to the the other side! ”

Charles’ eyes never left the phone screen that was balancing on top of his kitchen island , his full attention on Y/N who gliding gracefully and looking so effortless as she cooked.

The sound of the smoke alarm blared through his apartment , snapping Charles away from his daydreaming; as puffs of smoke covered parts of his kitchen . Quickly closing the stove and turning off the fire alarm , for the 3rd time this month. Charles was really a lost case when it came to cooking.

A soft smile placed itself on his lips , as your voice continued to project from his phone. You made everything look so simple and easy , even Charles thought he could do it! He continued to watch the beautiful girl work— completely forgetting the burnt chicken that was still on the pan.

“What are you doing?” A male voice suddenly came from behind

“Juste ciel! You scared me!!” Charles exclaimed, scared for his life as he held his chest.

Turning around to see his Ferrari teammate, Carlos Sainz, folding in half as he cried from laughter, clutching his stomach . Charles continued to curse the Latino driver in the languages hr knew— throwing the kitchen towel to the man who was still giggling.

“Why are you even here Carlos?” Charles had asked seeing that his teammate started to gather himself together.

“Nancy wanted to make sure that you got her texts, since you are clueless by my arrival— when I texted you that I was coming, I assume you didn’t see her text. No?” Carlos said, wiping the remaining tear stains from his cheek.

picking up his phone , and saw that it was actually on do not disturb.

“She said that we are needed earlier than expected tomorrow, we’ll be filming a lengthy C2 Challenge.”

A groan escaped the Monegasque at the thought of another day filled with media and journalists. Racing was supposed to be just that , racing . Not reporters hounding them about their lives — to that rolled he had rolled his eyes . Ruffling his hair out of frustration,

“Oh, don’t groan , I think you’ll particularly like tomorrow “ There was a dubious grin present on the Spanish driver … He knows something that Charles did not.

“What is it Carlos? Tell me, come onnnnnn” Charles badgered.

“Just be early tomorrow~ you’ll be surprised! Hehehe. Ciao , charles~” and with that the Spaniard was out.

***

“WHAT?! Y/N L/N?! TODAY? Huh??” Shocked was an understatement to describe the Monegasque driver .

Ferrari and it’s team knew Charles’ little crush for the chef, and they decided to surprise him with her presence.

Still confused Charles spouted out questions to Nancy — their pr manager.

“What do you mean y/n will be in the C2 challenge?”

“Just that, Charles. Ms. Y/n was invited to host this week’s C2 Challenge”

“You’re not serious…. Right??” Charles was downright panicked. His emotions spilling everywhere— excitement, fear, worry, happiness … he was a mess, and the whole team was giggling amongst themselves.

“When will she arri—“ Charles was not able to finish his sentence, when he heard the voice that owned his admiration.

“Hi everyone! My name is Y/N ~ let’s enjoy our time together, yes?”

And at the sight of her smile , oh boy… Charles Leclerc was a goner.

A/N:

Im not sure if a part 2 is needed 😮‍💨 any thoughts? should I write a pt 2 or just leave it as a oneshot ?

[heliads]

GIRLFRIEND i adored your lewis hamilton fics and am BEGGING you to write one for our boy charles leclerc!!! reader could be the public relations manager for the team and after another one of ferraris (unfortunate) racing tactics the press is badgering charles about what went wrong and overstepping boundaries and reader (who would be charles' gf or something idk) kinda steps in and puts them in their place

girlfriend!! anything for charles!

masterlist

If there’s one job worse than being a Scuderia Ferrari strategist, it’s being the director of public relations for the same team. The strategists really do try, bless their misguided little hearts, or so they claim, at least, but they do tend to cause a fair amount of trouble. Every race week, you prepare your statements for every kind of mishap, and every race week, you find yourself scrambling to draft responses to all types of new problems. Delightful.

Well, at least it’s interesting. Besides, the need for all these responses keeps you in a job, so you can’t really complain all that much. If there was one person with a legitimate bone to pick, though, that would have to be your boyfriend. He’s the one out there on the track whose shot at the Drivers’ Championship slips away with every bad plan, but for some reason, Charles Leclerc has still managed to keep his public affection for his racing team in fact.

Publicly, that is. When no one’s around but the two of you, when no one can hear you but the moths clustering on the outside of your glowing windows and the curling wind after dark, Charles sighs and runs his hands through his already mussed hair and actually says what he wishes.

It’s sort of funny, actually, that the only person Charles feels safe to be honest with is the PR head for his own company. As if you’d do a thing to hurt either him or his reputation, though. With the daunting task of carrying the hopes and dreams of all the Tifosi, Charles’ image and the man himself are one and the same. If you can protect him in any way, why would you not?

You just have to take care that you’re doing it inconspicuously. Very few people on this earth know about your relationship with Charles, you’d done that on purpose. Both of you were afraid of the toll it would take on your respective careers should the news come out. You would be accused of unfairly favoring a fellow employee, and he would be called out for similar HR violations.

That’s what years of public relations occupations have taught you. That’s the textbook answer:  you don’t date your coworkers and so you don’t have to find out what sort of backlash that blunder would win you. In all reality, you have no idea what would happen. Ferrari loves Charles, and you’ve won them some serious Internet credit over the years. After steering them away from several controversies, you’d think they’d be willing to cut you some slack.

Such a scenario, of Fred Vasseur letting you date his golden boy, isn’t even feasible in your imagination, let alone real life. Your little fantasy of public acceptance will have to stay just that until several miracles happen all at once to twist the popular eye in your favor.

Until then, though, you’re happy with what you have, truly you are. You fell in love with Charles for a reason, despite your best efforts and smartest choices. He is a wonderful man and an even better boyfriend. No one in this world has prioritized you or cared about you even half as much as he does. Charles does nothing by halves– not his racing, not his passion for his sport and career, and certainly not loving you.

With him, you feel wanted, and with him, you are willing to hide until hell freezes over and you’re allowed to go public without risking your job. Right now, you have everything, and there’s no way you’d risk that. Working at Ferrari was your dream, and you’ve had it for years now. Falling in love with someone like Charles was beyond your wildest imagination, but somehow that came true, too.

And, when you speak to Charles, he says much of the same thing. Sometimes, when you talk to him, you can still see the boy who’d promised his father he’d drive for Ferrari, the same kid who stepped into a kart for the first time and knew it would be his world forever. Charles has a spirit wholly unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before, yet he still swears that his life wasn’t complete until he met you.

Despite all of his charm, you had still initially tried to resist your feelings for him. Charles had joined Scuderia Ferrari only a year before you did; both of you were relatively new to the love and scourge of the Tifosi. It had been easy, then, to talk with him, to laugh with him, to let him eke out a place in your heart. It was inevitable. It was glorious. It was him.

You hadn’t counted on falling for him, but before you knew it, your heart was doing slow loops in your chest whenever you saw him, and meetings suddenly became way more interesting because Charles always went out of his way to sit next to you. It didn’t matter that drivers usually avoided public relations and media people like the plague, you were suddenly his favorite person in the world.

You watched and waited for it to stop, for him to get distracted by someone else, but that time never came. Charles still stayed hopeless for you, and when you could no longer hide the fact that you felt the same way, he asked you out at last, high on the adrenaline rush of winning a race. You had said yes, of course, and everything after that was history.

Charles is yours now, and you are his. He makes everything make sense, even when the two of you are gnashing your teeth over godawful strategy calls. It’s good to know that he will always be there to discuss the day’s work. It’s good to know that you will always have him.

That doesn’t mean that the Scuderia Ferrari strategists are in any way let off the hook, though. In fact, since you’ve started dating Charles, your resentment towards their bad calls has only grown. Both of your jobs are on the line whenever the strategy team messes up, and yet the problems keep coming.

For example, this week you’re reckoning with another round of bad calls. This time was another erroneous tyre mixup. Charles somehow went into qualifying with two different kinds of tyres on his car, like the strategists ran out of mediums and they decided two hards and two softs would do the same amount of work.

Spoiler:  it did not, and now Charles will be starting the next race from a less favorable position than hoped. In between furious complaints from Charles and utter incredulity from yourself, you’ve been scrambling to come up with some sort of angle for the Ferrari drivers to play during their next interviewers. Yet another crazy turn of events, but when has Formula One ever been boring?

Just in case, you’ll be patrolling the paddock with the other drivers and their communication managers so you can be available if the reporters start asking the kinds of questions Scuderia Ferrari wants to avoid. You split your time evenly between Charles and Carlos; although you may be dating one of the drivers, that doesn’t mean you’ll be favoring him.

Still, you’re not exactly ignoring Charles either. Spending time with him is easier, you can spot his ticks and the invisible signs that he’s losing his patience better than anyone else. That’s the benefit of loving him, you suppose, it gives you the ability to read his mind without needing something as exaggerated as telepathy.

You can see this right now, actually. This one Sky Sports interviewer has been hounding Charles for a good long while now. Charles has attempted to walk away several times, but the guy can’t take a hint and actually started following him, camera guys running in pursuit. Charles’ grin is starting to slip, and his eyes have long since stopped looking happy.

Carlos is still doing fine, so you bid him a hasty goodbye and turn back towards Charles before anything too terrible can happen. As you’re nearing your boyfriend, though, you hear the interviewer pushing Charles more than he should in a simple moment for the media.

In fact, the guy’s getting physical, which is the one thing that certainly should not happen in an interview. Unable to avoid Charles’ attempts to end the prolonged interview any longer, the other man has run up in front of him, actually grabbing onto Charles’ arms to stop him in his tracks.

Charles looks furious, but you are so far beyond that. You appear right behind Charles, stepping in between the two men as quickly as you can. Judging by the fright that cascades across the interviewer’s face, your expression reflects exactly what you’re feeling right now, and that is not a good thing for him.

“I think my eyes must be deceiving me,” you begin slowly, “because it looked to me like you just put hands on my driver. That would be such a monumentally stupid thing to do, so surely something else must be going on. You must have enough fluff in your head to know that laying even a finger on my driver would be a colossal mistake. I know you’re not doing that. I know you’re not. Right?”

The interviewer visibly blanches. “Yeah, that’s right. I’m not– I wouldn’t–”

Your smile is sinister but oh so perfect. “That’s exactly what I wanted to hear. This interview is over now, right? You were just talking about how Charles has continued to prove himself a capable driver despite setbacks out of his control?”

The interviewer audibly gulps. “Yeah, that. A lot of that.”

“Wonderful,” you grin, “I’ll just stay right here then, to make sure you’re staying on track.”

You take a few steps back for propriety’s sake, but the interviewer doesn’t look like he’ll be trying anything again. You’ve properly frightened him, which feels quite good, actually. Perhaps you should do this more often.

Charles certainly looks like he’s a fan of this. He’s beaming ear to ear, which is certainly a change from the glower that had been on his face only moments before. He’s supposed to be focused on wrapping up this sham of an interview, but he can’t seem to focus for longer than a second without turning around to look at you again. You’ll really have to get after him about trying not to be conspicuous, but you’re feeling pleased with yourself at the moment, so you don’t have the heart for it. Maybe later. Maybe never.

The interviewer shudders. “She terrifies me.”

Charles grins after you, somewhat in a haze. “I know, that’s why I’m so glad she’s my girlfriend.”

Your jaw drops as you realize what he’s said. “Charles!”

Charles’ eyes immediately go wide. “I didn’t– she’s not– shit!”

The public reaction to this is, as expected, insane. For the most part, though, it’s very positive. The fans are glad to see you defending their driver, and thousands of people have voiced their support online for how clearly infatuated Charles is with you. The idea that your bosses would try to split up the two of you is horrible to them, and it’s horrible to you, too.

It’s a good thing, then, that the higher-ups at Scuderia Ferrari would much rather prioritize the future of their drivers and public relations experts than try to cut off this relationship. Vasseur gives you the okay by the next race, and actually adds in some comment about how he’s been wondering if Charles would ever get up the nerve to ask for your number. It appears that the two of you may not have been as expert at hiding your relationship as you thought.

That was your greatest fear, that you would lose your job over this, and now that the danger has passed, you feel an immense wave of relief crest over you. You can keep the life you’d always wanted, and you can continue having Charles be such a main part of it, too. This is exactly what you’d hoped for in your wildest dreams, but your eyes are open now, and full of delight.

Charles is thrilled, too. He immediately rushes to his Instagram to post his favorite photos of you, something he fondly tells you later was a long time coming. The rest of the drivers absolutely destroy him in the comments for being, quote, ‘the biggest simp on the entire planet,’ according to Pierre Gasly, but you don’t think Charles cares at all. He’s got you, that’s what matters most.

And, to make up for the whole debacle, he gets you roses. Ferrari red. He’s a terrible flirt and utterly unstoppable when it comes to winning you over. Shame he’s able to do it every time. It’s almost as if you could never hold a grudge against him for longer than a second. Still, the groveling does him good, and soon enough he’s got a monopoly over your smiles just like before.

So, when the next race rolls around, you’re able to stroll into the paddock holding the hand of your boyfriend. It is not half as terrifying as you’d thought. In fact, it’s kind of extraordinary. Just like him.

f1 tag list: @j-brielmalfoy

[madwomansapologist]

going on vacation with queen maeve would include

Masterlist | Rules | Taglist | Library | More Royalty AU | AO3

synopsis: A few months after getting into The Seven, your mind and body were on the edge. Good for your that your girlfriend™ knows exactly how to make Madelyn shut the fuck up.

warnings: vought. female!reader. this is fluffy!

• It's funny how you thought for so long that Maeve didn't give a damn about you. Because now, seeing clearly what she is doing, you notice how much she really cares. How deeply Maggie cares about you.

• Your relationship now being real don't make everything easy. It makes easier, of course, but it still pretty fucked up to be used as Vought way of making pink money. But as time passes, you noticed all the little things Maeve did so it would be easier for you. The fact that she does that in secret is what really makes your heart skip a beat.

• Like when you discovered that Maeve fought with Madelyn so your birthday would be a private event. Or when your copyright percentage got higher because of her. And there was that day Maeve discussed for over a hour with the marketing guys so you could cut your hair however you wanted. And the time a "journalist" threatened to expose a story about your normal life so she... You still don't know what exactly she did, but the story never saw daylight.

• So when out of sudden, in the middle of the most tiring week of your entire life, Ashley informed you that your vacations was postponed to next week by the HR people; you knew it was her. Of course it was.

• You both talked to her about your plans, and Ashley took care of everything. She usually does. She made sure there was no one on the beach, no paparazzi, not even a leaf out of place. If there was one thing you valued, it was your secret identity, and since Maeve also took the same care, every precaution was necessary.

• After a car trip, Maeve doesn't get on planes under any circumstances, complete with lots of diabetic sweets and loud music, you finally arrived at the cabin. Everything inside was some kind of licensed Vought product, but ignoring that until you looked like just a normal couple. Nothing surprising. No drama, no pr stunts, no forced smiles. It was just you and Maggie, and that was all.

• Maggie spent the whole week running the bar. You've already discussed her being basically a functional alcoholic, but she's always emphasized the functional. She took care of the drinks, you took care of the barbecues, and the two of you tried to understand how to make Starlight Seasoned Rice™.

• Maggie was more the type to pick up a gothic novel, apply sunscreen until she looked like a ghost, and toast on a beach sarong. You were the one challenging the sea to a fight. And cursing the hot sand.

• Caught up in Jane Eyre's poor choice to marry someone she discovered had locked his first wife in the basement, Maggie didn't think she needed to worry. Until the salt water fell on her and her book, and Maggie saw you with your smirk and a yellow toy bucket. You wanted war? Okay.

• Playing fights with your girlfriend is one of the most common things in relationships. Playing fights with your super powerful warrior goddess hot girlfriend is much more interesting. Will Maggie one day realize how much you love being beneath her? She probably already did.

• With hydrating hair masks, tasty meat, strong drinks and practically inedible rice™, you fell asleep on the sofa in the cabin while you tried to prove to Maggie that Emile Brontë was the best sister.

• You both deserved that.

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.