#however. I don’t want to abuse the kindness of the stranger who literally let me come over and traipse around for a few hours without ever | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ihave-atummyache · 8 months ago

Text

do u like chase atlantic?

Stray Kids Imagine

OT8

summary: chase atlantic x skz

NSFW!!! drugs, alcohol, sex, toxicity

trigger warnings: abuse of drugs a little bit, use of recreational drugs but not much emphasis on exactly what drug.

angsty, fluffy, toxic, some sweetness

6.8k words

(u don’t have to know the song to understand the story)

Bang Chan- OHMAMI

Call Maria, lets get drunk

I haven't been out for a month

Got a two-liter in the back and another bottle in the trunk

Columbian gold in the front seat

The foreign girls showing me love

Telling your friends that you hate me

But I know that you can't get enough

—

"Come on, Chris. You haven't went out with us in weeks! We're in America, for Christ's sake. We're destined to have a good time," Felix whines at the foot of Chan's bed. He glances up at Felix from his computer than back down. The use of the name “Chris” definitely catches his attention.

"If I go out, will you leave me alone all day tomorrow so I can get this done?" he raises his eyebrows at his younger friend who rolls his eyes in response.

"Yes… Well, probably not. But Scout's honor," he holds up three fingers before continuing, "I will try by best," he smiles and Chan can't help but to laugh.

"America is rubbing off on you. Fine. Let me get ready," Chan closes the laptop and Felix bounds out of the room, excited to tell Han and Hyunjin that he finally got Chan to come out.

What he wasn't expecting when he walked into the club, was seeing you. A familiar face but on a stranger. The same girl he had been practically obsessed with for the entire American leg of their last tour.

You were different though. Expensive jewelry hung from your neck and adorned your delicate wrists and fingers. What have you been doing since he last saw you? What had you been doing for the last year since you two parted ways.

He know it was no more than a hookup that he had gotten unreasonably close to but still, you had a hold on him that was unexplainable. He dragged you on the tour with them for the duration of the rest of the American portion then, he practically ghosted you.

"Y/n?" His voice fills your ears, his accent thick with every letter of your name. You snap your head towards him, your eyes locking with his. Before you can reply, however, a girl steps in front of him, drawing his attention from you for just long enough for you to slide off the bar stool and disappear into the dancing crowd.

"Why the fuck is he here?" You speak to yourself and an arm is slung over your shoulder, stopping you from taking anymore steps. You turn your head and meet eyes with the guy you came here with.

"Where are you going?" he questions, a slight slur in his voice. After seeing Chan, this guy suddenly seems far less appealing. He doesn’t have the sexy accent or the kind eyes. Hell, his body isn’t even half as godly as Chan’s.

"This asshole I haven't seen in a year just happened to be at this bar. I can't stand him. Just seeing him makes me wanna hurl," you grumble and run your hand through your hair before turning to your date.

"Wanna dance?" You question but before he can reply, someone has their hand wrapped around your wrist and is pulling you to the edge of the crowd. You look down and recognize the cuban link bracelet instantly. Chan.

You let him pull you until you're outside of the club then you finally snatch your wrist from his grip. You bring it up to your chest, rubbing slightly at the dull string.

"What the hell? I'm literally here on a date! What could you possibly want?" you exclaim and he takes a deep breath before turning to face you.

"Why did you run from me?" His voice is gentle, it almost has an undertone of guilt in it. Good. He should be guilty.

"Fuck you, Christopher. You fucked my head up. You fucked my heart up and you fucked me up. I'll never be the same because of you," you spit at him and take a step towards him, closing the space.

"Y/n. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Oh, please, shut the hell up. It's too late," you growl at him and turn towards the parking deck where your car is. Honestly, just him being here was enough to ruin your night and you wanted nothing more than to just go home.

"Y/n, wait. Baby, please. Can we just talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about, Chris. I hate you. I'm sure you know that by now. Seeing as the amount of my friends that you reached out to while trying to contact me," you reach your car quickly, luckily you parked on the first level.

Chan freezes when he sees your car. Ferrari? Since when have you been able to afford this? He approaches the other side of the car at the same time you unlock it and pulls the door open.

His eyes practically fall from his head when he sees what's sitting in the front seat of the car. Was that... drugs? Had you been selling drugs?

The expensive jewelry, the expensive car, the suspicious and sleazy looking man you were with.

"Are you a drug dealer? What the fuck?" His voice is much louder than it should be and you quickly get into the driver side of the car.

"Shut up, you idiot. You want to call the police and tell them about it too? Fuck off," you snap at him and reach across the car, pulling the door closed and locking them before pulling out the parking spot and leaving him in the vacant place.

Did he really fuck you up this bad?

Lee Know- Church

And I'll keep leading you on

If you keep leading me into your room

The drinks are all gone

But that's fine, baby, so am I

I'm about to take you back to church

Well, tell me your confessions, baby, what's the worst? Yeah

Baptise in your thighs 'til it hurts

'Cause I'm about to take you back to church

I'll keep you up until the sunset

Speaking in tongues, yeah, we ain't done yet, yeah

"Y/n, you sound like an idiot. He's a dog. You're being just as naïve as all the other girls he has led on!" You friend exclaims and you turn away from her to glance down at your phone again.

minho: can I come over?

You let out a sigh. Maybe she's right. Maybe it was just because of the amount of wine you had been drinking but you suddenly found the confidence to just leave him on read.

"I just feel like I need him so bad. I can't explain it but... I don't know. Maybe I am an idiot," you trail off and drop back on the bed, the half empty bottle of wine tight in your grip.

"He's just no good. You need to give him a taste of his own medicine! He's toxic! He want you at his every beck and call and you always reply. Maybe if you just-" she gets cut off when your phone starts ringing loudly between the two of you.

You grab your phone from the bed and pull it up to your face before letting out a groan. You slide the phone and press answer, putting it on speaker phone.

"Come open the door," Minho's deep voice echoes out of the phone's speaker before you can say a word and you peak over at your best friend, who is just as confused as you.

"Minho I didn't say you could come over," you reply and he scoffs on the other side of the line, obviously annoyed with your lack of cooperation.

"Baby, I've been drinking. Just let me in so I don't have to drive drunk. I'll sober up and leave. I'm already here and my place is too far. Plus, I can't find a ride right now," You groan and sit up in the bed. When you throw your legs over the side and stand, you feel much more warm and fuzzy than you did when you were laying down.

"Lucky for you, it appears I'm a bit buzzed too," You grumble out and then hang up the phone.

"Don't seriously tell me you're letting that asshole in our house," your best friend complains from beside you and you let out a laugh at her face.

"Okay. This is the last time. I'm seriously done after this. I just need to get his magic mouth and fingers and co-"

"Okay! Stop. I don't need the visual right now. Just get to the point," your best friend cuts you off and you chuckle, walking towards the front door and she follows you.

"It's gonna be like goodbye sex. It's just so good..." you trail off and then exhale deeply before pulling your front door open. You hear your best friend mumble something along the lines of “all this to get your dick wet” behind you, but you don’t comment on her statement. Minho looks heavenly, leaning on the wall across from your apartment door and chewing on what looks like a straw from the bar.

"Hi," you breathe out and he pushes off the wall to walk towards you. You move to the side to let him in and he slings and arm over your shoulder before eyeing your best friend.

"Hey," the smug smirk on his face is enough to make you roll your eyes and she narrows her eyes at him. They aren't too fond of each other and both know it.

"Oh fuck off, Minho and fuck you," she spits at him and he chuckles. You start guiding him towards your room and he looks at your best friend again with that cocky smirk.

"The only one getting fucked tonight is y/n," he replies, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"Minho!" You object before pushing him into your room and slamming the door behind you. He really is shitty and you know it but God, the things he can do with his body and the way he looks is just heavenly.

He walks to your bed before plopping down and laying back. You slowly approach the bed and he glances over at you.

"Sit on my face, princess. I've been thinking about your pussy on my tongue all night. I need your thighs on either side of my head while I drown in you," he says it so nonchalantly, letting out a sigh but you just stare at him for a moment before he glances back at you.

"Come on, baby. I know you want to leave me. Let me prove to you how I can worship this body like no other man will be able to. Let me make you want to stay," he's practically begging which is very uncharacteristic of him and you approach him slowly. He sits up when you reach him and reaches towards you, pulling your shorts down your legs.

He gently kisses up your thigh before planting two more on either one of your hip bones. He grips your hips, his thumbs rubbing over the same spot his lips just were. He begins to fall back again, pulling you with him until he has pulled you over his face.

"The only thing I want you to remember is my name. If that means making you cum over and over until the sun comes up, then that's what I'll do," his voice is low and he suddenly pulls you down, his warm mouth making contact with your pussy that he has been craving all night.

Changbin- Friends

And what the hell were we?

Tell me we weren't just friends

This doesn't make much sense, no

But I'm not hurt, I'm tense....

"Binnie? are you home?" Your voice cracks over the phone and Chnagbin immediately sits up in the chair at your tone.

"I'm at the studio. What's going on? Are you alright?" His voice is full of concern and you feel more tears well up behind your eyes.

"Even closer. Is it okay if I come see you? Just for a little bit. I..." you trail off, taking a deep breath, "I have had a bad night and I just want to see you," your voice softens and he feels a small smile make its way to his face.

"Of course. I'll meet you in the lobby," he confirms and stands from his chair to make his way down to where he knows you're walking in. It'll be easier for him to guide you in personally since you don't have a visitor pass.

When the elevator dings, your head immediately snaps towards the sound. Changbin walks off the elevator, looking the epitome of relaxed and sexy. You gulp as you let your eyes drag down the shirt around his buff arms.

"Have you been crying?" His voice echos in your head as he closes the gap between you two. You reach up and gently touch your cheek. You find dry residue, obvious evidence of tears. When had you cried? You know you wanted to but you didn’t realize that you actually had.

"I guess I have been," you reply, your voice completely deflated and he wraps his arms around your shoulders tightly. You don't have the energy to hug him back and instead let out a sigh, allowing your head to fall into his neck.

You close your eyes and take a deep inhale. His scent instantly invades your senses and relaxes you. You have been best friends for years and sometimes just being with him is enough to calm you.

"Come on," he wraps an arm around your shoulders and guides you to the elevator. The entire ride is silent. You were completely caught in your head by your own thoughts. You barely even notice when you're gently guided to sit on the couch. Changbin sits beside you and grabs your hands in your lap, making you turn to face him.

He closes the few inches in front of you and presses his lips to yours. You sigh into the familiarity of the kiss and let your hands squeeze his tighter.

"Y/n, what happened? You can tell me," he whispers, carefully choosing his words in case you start crying again.

"Do you think I'm a slut?" you ask suddenly and he immediately drops his eyebrows to a furrow, shaking his head.

"What are you…" he cuts himself off and you run your hand through your hair messily, letting out a low cuss under your breath as more angry tears spring to your eyes.

"I was on a date and this guy... fuck! And this guy tried to kiss me. I swerved it and he went off on me. Telling me about how he only asked me on a date for some ass. Claiming that I fucked his friend last week and- why are you looking at me like that?" You interrupt yourself when you notice how tense Changbin has become.

"You fucked someone else? You went on a date?" Changbin questions, suddenly becoming much more angry than he was before he said the words out loud.

"Yes? Why wouldn't I?" He snatches his hands from yours and stands, walking towards his desk and leaning over it. He slams his fist down, making a few pencils drop to the ground and making you jump from your spot behind him.

"Binnie, are you-"

"Don't." He whips his body around to face you, pointing an accusatory finger at you, "Don't fucking call me that. What the fuck, y/n? We have been fucking each other for months. How many other people were you fucking?" His voice is suddenly loud and you're sure it would be echoing throughout the hallway if you weren't in the studio.

"Wait... Changbin. We're best friends. It isn't supposed to be exclusi-"

"Best friends.” he scoffs before continuing, “Maybe you are a slut. One cock isn't enough for you that you had to go let yourself be fucked by however many other people?" His words are laced with venom and you blink at him a few times before standing up and grabbing your bag.

"Fuck you, Changbin." You spit out before storming from the room.

Hyunjin- HEAVEN AND BACK

She's high

She lives in the sky

Tonight, she's satisfied

Rolling back her eyes

But then she starts to cry

Everything is turning to black

All in one night

She just went to heaven and back

"Fuck, Jinnie. Don't stop," you moan out, pushing your friend(?) and his heavenly tongue deeper between your legs. His tongue had been ravishing for what felt like hours but also felt so good, like nothing you have ever felt before. Although it felt like hours, it had only been a few minutes.

His licks a long stripe up your sopping cunt before kissing up your body and stops at your nipples, taking one into his mouth and using his fingers to play with the other.

"N-no more teasing. Just fuck me already. Please?" you whimper out and he chuckles pushing back onto his heels and lining himself up with your entrance. His slowly pushes in, causing you both to let out a groan at the feeling.

"Fuck, darling. You feel so fucking good wrapped around me," he groans out, his head falling back in pure pleasure and absolute ecstasy. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he slowly picks up the pace.

Suddenly, he bottoms out and you yelp, immediately beginning to shake at the feeling. It was borderline painful but you also felt so full and it’s felt so good.

"Yeah. You like that, don't you?" he asks again and you nod mindlessly, already feeling like you've reached the clouds. Hyunjin feels like he could die a happy man, completely content being balls deep in your perfect cunt, made just for him.

He drops to his elbows on either side of your head and you instinctively wrap your own arms around his neck. He grabs your chin and gently pulls your face towards him, making your eyes pop open. His eyes meet yours and then he suddenly stops, complete silence falling in the air.

"Are you high?" he suddenly asks and you blink at him a few time, opening your mouth to reply but he sits up, falling back onto his heels and pulling out of you. You shiver at the loss of warmth and sit up on your elbows to look at him.

"Hyunjin, it isn't-"

"Don't tell me it isn't what I think. I see you more fucked up than sober nowadays, fuck. Do you not see that you have a fucking problem? I ask you to be sober for one fucking night and you can't even do it. This is pitiful, y/n," his voice is full of anger and you don't even think he notices the way he's switching between languages, making your brain spin.

"Baby, pick a language. I can't follow what you're saying," you sit up and reach forward to cup his cheek but he pulls away from your touch, stands, and pulls his pants up his legs then his hoodie over his head.

You feel the tears immediately come to your eyes and start to pour down your cheeks. You don’t even really know why you’re crying. Maybe it’s because this moment between the two of you got ruined or maybe it’s because you can tell how pissed he is at you.

"Baby what are you-"

" 'Baby, this. Baby, that'. Just stop talking. Stop. Fucking. Talking," His voice raises and more tears pour from your eyes. You hurriedly grab the t shirt you were wearing from the floor, which happens to be his, and pull it over your head.

"I don't understand why you're so mad. This doesn't have anything to do with you! It doesn't effect you," your voice is slightly shaky but you finish the sentence nonetheless, making him scoff and run his hands down his face.

"Because I fucking love you. I love you more than anything and I want you to love yourself even half as much as I do," his voice is quieter again and you bring your face down to your hands as the tears keep pouring from your eyes.

"Why are you crying?" His voice breaks you from your quiet sobs and you look up. He's already looking at you, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Are you leaving me?" you ask quietly and he sighs, looking at the door then back at you again.

"We aren't together. How could I leave someone I never had in the first place," he walks towards you and tilts your chin up. He uses his sleeves to wipe the tears from your soaked cheeks and you just look up at him, eyes bloodshot and dilated.

"I'm so disappointed in you, angel. I thought I meant more to you than your substances but it seems I can't compete," a sad smile covers his face and he exhales gently before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead. You quickly reach out and wrap your arms around his waist.

"You do, Jinnie. I'm okay. I promise. I can stop when I want," you swear to him but he doesn't reply. He grabs both of your arms from behind his back and pries you off of him before taking a few steps back.

"I'll wait for you, y/n. In the future, when you love yourself, come find me," he replies before turning and walking towards the door. You quickly throw yourself from the bed and chase after him.

"Hyunjin! Wait! I-I-" you're interrupted by your front door slamming shut in front of your face.

Han- Meddle About

Cause it's not just a figure of speech

You got me down on my knees

It's getting harder to breathe out

We only met each other just the other day

But you already got me feeling some type of way

Now if I could figure it out

I'd take you back to my house

So we could meddle about

Jisung's breath hitches in his throat when he sees you at the bar. His heart immediately starts pounding in his chest and he turns away, locking eyes with Chan next to him.

"That's her. She's right there at the bar, hyung. What do I do?" Jisung feels like his heart might actually leap out of his chest. Chan glances over at the bar but he can't figure out exactly who Jisung is talking about.

"Leather skirt. Mesh shirt," Jisung whispers to Chan, still not turning to look at you. Chan can't stop the chuckle from falling from his lips.

"You really are down bad. You looked at her for a total of 3 seconds and know exactly what she has on. Any other details you noticed?" he teases and nudges Jisung but he's too thrown off to realize Chan is joking.

"Red lipstick, red hair clip," he adds on and Chan's mouth drops open. He's never seen his friend so infatuated over a girl in all their years of knowing each other. What had you done to him?

"Would it freak you out if I said she's heading this way or would that be a good thing?" Chan leans over to whisper to his friend. Jisung's eyes grow wide but before he can reply, your honey voice rips through the music at the club.

"Hi, Jisung. It's good to see you," your voice went straight to his cock and he can't help remembering all the filthy things you had said to him the other night. The things you were whispering in his ear while he was balls deep in you.

"H-Hi. How are you?" He clears his throat and you giggle, sitting yourself down next to him as your friend sits on the other side of Chan, making a friend of her own to give you and Jisung a bit more privacy.

"I've been thinking about you," he suddenly blurts out and instantly regrets it when your perfect eyebrows shoot up in surprise but the look is instantly replaced with a smug smirk.

He's so fucking cute.

"Oh? What have you been thinking about?" you inquire and wrap your lips around your straw. Jisung can't stop himself of looking. He remembers the way those same lips were wrapped around him. The way he was down your throat. The way your perfectly manicured hands were rubbing him in a way in which nobody had, not even himself.

He gulps deeply and glances at your eyes again. Your’s are already trained on his. His big, sparkly, chocolate, doe eyes had you in a chokehold like no other. You wanted nothing more than to bring him to tears again and he wanted nothing more than for you to bring him to tears again.

"Everything. You've invaded my mind," he suddenly confesses, a bit of a dazed look in his eyes. You let out a light chuckle as you lean over, placing your glass on the table. Jisung's eyes trail over your back and then he finally eyes your legs, stunning thighs and calves. He wants to worship you so badly, show you exactly how you should be treated.

"Oh really? Does it bother you that I've invaded your mind?" you ask, sweetly before resting your hand on his knee. You turn towards him and rest your other arm on the back of the couch, letting your head fall into your hand. You look almost bored, not entertained by Jisung in the slightest but you know that the slick in your panties was an indicator of just how much this boy had also invaded your mind.

He gulps again and adjusts in his seat. You let your hand fall from your head and reach forward, gently playing with the longer hair at the base of his skull.

"As pretty as you are, my Jisungie, I asked you a question," you speak up and let your hand gently trail up the back of his head until your fingers dig into his head and you tug on his hair, rough enough that it definitely hurt but not rough enough for anyone to notice.

"Do you like that I have invaded your mind, my pretty boy?" you ask again and scoot closer, placing a wet kiss to his throat. You pull away and the slight red residue from your lipstick makes you smile to yourself.

"Yes. I like it," he replies and you look up into his glazed over eyes again before releasing your grip slightly in his hair and your other hand makes it's way up his thigh more before brushing lightly against his bulge. His takes a sharp inhale of breath and you chuckle.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, mommy," his reply is instant and almost pathetic. Gosh, you want nothing more than to just have him on his knees for you again, begging to eat your pussy.

Felix- Consume

She said, "Careful, or you'll lose it"

But girl, I'm only human

And I know there's a blade where your heart is

And you know how to use it

And you can take my flesh if you want, girl

Felix knows she isn’t his. That doesn’t stop him from feeling green (GREENGREEN lol) with jealousy. Seeing you wrapped around someone else, your tongue down some strangers throat that he has never seen before.

“Lix, calm down,” Hyunjin’s voice sounds from behind him but Felix doesn’t even pay the man a glance.

“It’s not fair. She’s mine,” Felix groans out and Hyunjin pats him on the back before looking over to Minho with a ‘help me’ look in his eyes. Minho clears his throat before leaning towards the pair so they can hear him over the party’s music.

“If she’s your’s, then why are his hands all over her ass?” Minho’s voice is casual and Hyunjin swears he could have slapped him in that moment.

“You dumbass! That isn’t what he needs to hear!” Hyunjin practically yells but after at his older friend, though it’s all background noise to Felix. He stands abruptly and marches over to you. He puts his hands in the back of your jeans and pulls you away from the man who is standing dazed by your lips.

“Piss off, mate,” Felix’s voice is full of anger and jealousy and the man blinks at him once before scurrying away. You let your body lay back slightly, resting against Felix’s chest. His hand instinctively wraps around your waist and his hand splays possessively across ur stomach.

“Lixie. I’ve missed you,” as soon as your voice makes it’s way to his ears, he feels like he could melt into you. You have him absolutely wrapped around your finger and you know it. He knows that you know it and just lets you use him in whatever way you want.

“You have a funny way of showing it,” he pulls you tighter against him, “Who the hell was that?” Felix’s deep voice rings through your ear and he places a gently kiss just below your ear.

“Mm. Forgot. I just wanted your attention,” you confess and push back against Felix, your ass bumping against his cock, begging to be in you.

“Well you have it. I should fuck you right here so you remember who you belong to, sweet girl,” he grumbles into your ear before sucking slightly on the same spot he had just kissed, leaving a hickey, marking his territory.

“Oh, my love, you know I don’t belong to anyone but myself. We’ve been over this,” you turn in his arms and wrap your arms around his neck. He tucks both of his hands in the back pockets of your jeans as you make eye contact.

You reach up and tuck his hair gently behind his ear before leaning in and pressing your lips against his, he immediately kisses you back and licks the seam of your lips, asking for entrance. You let his tongue into your mouth and he immediately pulls away.

He can taste a liquor on your breath that he knows for a fact you don’t like, then he remembers why he stormed over here in the first place.

“I can taste that fucker on your breath,” he growls out and you chuckle, only making him angrier.

“Oh, I’m sorry honey. Do you want me to brush my teeth or are you just going to kiss me until all his taste is gone? It’s your choice,” you reply and twist his hair around your fingertips gently.

He probably looks pitiful right now to any onlookers. He probably looks like some guy who is completely whipped by a girl that doesn’t even want him and just had her tongue down some different guy’s throat. But honestly, Felix couldn’t care less.

He presses his lips against yours again and you kiss for a few minutes before you grab his hand and place it over your racing heart.

“If I give you a piece of this, will you be careful with it?” You ask, touching your forehead against his before pulling back and looking into his eyes again.

“Give me the whole thing and I promise I won’t lose it. I’ll be careful,” he swears, no trace of a smile on his face.

He wants nothing more than to have just a tiny corner of your heart since you were already taking up the entirety of his.

Seungmin- Tidal Wave

Passion drippin' off the wall, baby

Damn, you make it easy

And drop a little acid on our tongues, baby

We can make it freaky

Don't you think about turning the lights out

I want them to see this

And I say fuck the rules and let 'em find out

But that's just how I'm feelin'

“S-slow down (wink). I c-can’t stay quiet like this,” you whimper out but your boyfriend doesn’t listen. Instead, he leans forward, his chest pressed to your back and his cock impossibly deep in you.

You can’t stop the groan that leaves your mouth, a mix of pleasure and pain forcing the noise from you. He places a kiss on the back of your shoulder then sits up again. His hands gently rub down the arch of your back. The beauty that is you is truly out of this world and he can’t help but just look sometimes.

“Minnie, move,” your voice is whiny and Seungmin lets out a deep chuckle behind you.

“I thought you wanted me to slow down. Now you want me to speed up? Needy little thing, aren’t ya?” his voice is laced with a condescending tone and you clench around him. He suddenly pulls out completely and in one quick motion he flips you to your back and scoots down the bed, his head between your legs.

“What are you doing?” you question, your voice slightly shaky from the constant teasing.

“What do you think I’m doing? I’m going to eat this pretty little pussy until you have no choice but to scream for me,” He raises his eyebrows at you as a blush radiated up your neck and to your face.

“But… they’ll hear. They’ll know,” you whisper shout at him. His band mates were scattered throughout the house. If you get quiet enough, you could hear them. From what you could tell, two of them seemed to be playing some kind of video game together and another was in the kitchen, listening to music and probably cleaning.

“Good. That’s fine with me,” he suddenly replies and plunges a finger into you. Your back arches off the bed and you bite down on your lip to stop the moan.

“B-but you said-”

“I changed my mind. After seeing the way they were looking at your ass in those pants today, I want to make it clear to them that you belong to me and nobody else,” he speaks up and glances down at where his finger is knuckle deep in your pussy before adding another finger.

His lingering gaze makes you nervous and you subconsciously close your thighs, trying to hide yourself from him. This quickly earns you a gentle slap to the inside of your thigh and a firm grip prying your legs back open.

“Why are you looking so much? Let’s turn the lights off. I’m getting shy,” you mumble out which causes a smug smile to break across your boyfriend’s face.

“Never. I love looking at this sweet cunt. All mine too, isn’t that right, baby?” he asks as he slowly begins to pump his fingers in and out of you. You groan and bite down on your lip again but Seungmin moves his hand from it’s spot on your thigh and pulls your lip from between your teeth. He pats your cheek, not enough to be considered a slap but definitely a warning.

“I asked you a question, pup. Don’t tell me my babydoll is already fucked out. I haven’t even made you scream yet,” he gives a fake pout and you groan again.

“All your’s baby. I’m all yours,” you ramble as he speeds his fingers up inside of you.

“Who do you belong to? Say my name.” He demands as he starts to curl his fingers inside of you. He leans forward and licks your clit, making you jump at the contact and he chuckles, the vibrations ricocheting throughout your body.

“Fuck, Seungmin,” you moan out and he slaps the outside of your thigh before kneading the flesh and pulling his mouth away slightly.

“Louder, princess,” he commands and dives back in. He feels you clench around him before suddenly you’re cumming all over his face and fingers.

“Seungmin! Fuck. Don’t stop. Feels so good!” You finally scream out as you grind your face against his tongue, riding out your high.

“Call me what you like to call me,” he demands, another shit eating, smug grin on his face. His fingers are still pumping in and out of you and starting to send you into overstimulation.

“Mmm, daddy! Please slow down! ‘S too much,” you slur your words together and a smirk covers his face as he kisses each of your thighs then climbs back up your body, slowly pulling his soaking wet fingers from inside of you.

“Now I’m going to fuck you and I want you to keep screaming my name just like that. I don’t even want them to think about ever looking at what’s mine again,” he bites down on the skin covering your collarbone, making you buck your hips against him.

“Do I make myself clear?” he pulls back to look you in the eyes and you nod. He raises his eyebrows at you, a warning, “Words, darling. Use your words,” he adds on and you clear your throat

“Yes, sir. Crystal clear,” you nod and her kisses you gently on the forehead before sinking back into you, your wet cunt pulling him with ease.

I.N- Right Here

It's happening again

Well, I don't give a fuck about your friends

I'm right here, here

Oh baby take a look around

I'm the only one that hasn't walked out

I'm right here, here

Hearing the door slams makes you jump at your spot on the couch. You weren't expecting your boyfriend today, but he's the only one who knows your code so it has to be him.

"Innie?" your voice echos. You hear him slip his shoes off before you see your boyfriend walk into the room you're in. His hair looks disheveled like he had been running his hands through it and his face looks wild.

"Innie? What's wrong? What happened?" You immediately snap your book closed and turn your body towards him. He runs his hands through his hair and that's when you notice the bruises on his hands and arms.

"Yang Jeongin. What happened to you?" You jolt up from your seat and walk towards him. You grab him by the elbow and pull him towards the kitchen, flipping the light on as you enter. You turn again and look over your boyfriend's hands.

"Have you been fighting?!" You exclaim and finally meet his eyes. They're unusually cold, the subtle shine when he usually looks at you no where in sight.

"I heard that jackass talking about you. Your ex," his words have a bite behind them and he clenches his jaw. He had seen your ex? He only knows of one ex, he would only recognize the face of one of your exes.

He's a more recent ex. You two only dated for about five months but he took well to the friend group so he has kind of stuck around since you broke up. You ended things amicably and besides it being awkward for a few hangouts with everyone, the two of you were able to put the relationship behind you and be around each other comfortably.

"What does he have to do with anything? Was it him? You fought him?" You start rattling off questions, studying his expressionless face.

"I did," his reply is curt and his eyes finally meet yours again. You have shock all over your face. This can't be happening.

"Jeongin! Your reputation, your career. You have things to worry about. Why would you even fight that guy?" your voice is shaky as you try to organize your thoughts and understand exactly what could have sent him over the edge.

"He was talking to that girl he's been dating. You should've heard him, y/n. God! I fucking hate that guy. If I ever get my hands on him again, I swear I'll k-"

"Stop!" You interrupt him and slap your hand over his mouth to stop his words, "What was he saying? I still don't understand, baby," you use the pet name in hopes that it'll help calm him down. His eyes soften slightly and you pull your hand from his mouth.

"He was talking about how uptight you are. And calling you a bitch and all kinds of names. Told her that you 'gave up your pussy for any man that had a black card'. As if his money isn’t all daddy’s money. That piece of shit hasn't worked for anything in his life," he slams the side of his fist against the wall.

He turns to you again and places his hands over your shoulders but you're staring into space. He said all that about you? Why would he say that? You thought the two of you ended on good terms so what's with the shit talk now?

"Listen to me, babe. You don't need them. You only need me. You always catch them hanging out without you and talking shit. Fuck them. Just me and you. Is that okay? Does that sound good?" His voice is almost pleading and you meet his eyes again. You feel hurt about what he's telling you but at the same time...are you surprised?

"Okay," your voice is barely more than a whisper and Jeongin places his finger under your chin, tilting your head to face him.

"Okay," he replies and places his forehead against your's. You let out a shaky breath then he places both hands on your cheeks and presses his lips to yours.

Jeongin can’t help the feeling of satisfaction in finally having you completely to himself. He doesn’t care if the mentality is toxic but he wants to be all that you ever need. He wants to be everything to you without anyone else standing in the way.

imma start putting a lil author’s note at the end tee hee. i just wanna say that possessive felix>>>. mega fuckin heart eyes bruv. also seungmin is soo pull out, eat it, put it back in and i cant explain why. source: just trust me.

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saintavangeline · 3 days ago

Note

I remember a while back you mentioned dropping out of college, would you mind talking about your experience?

I’ve been thinking about dropping out a lot recently. I’m attempting a very difficult course whilst having very low-functioning unmedicated ADHD and possibly autism, so I’m not only hugely behind on assignments but I’ve also had to quit making art.

The fear that’s stopping me is that I would have to go back to my abusive household and I don’t want to stagnate.

Sorry this turned into a vent- that was not my original intention. Of course I have no expectations that you, a stranger, will give me a solution. Frustratingly I’m getting a lot of “you just need to get started” and “you just need to settle in” from people, and hearing how you made that decision as someone who is also disabled would be really valuable even if the circumstances were different.

So I emergency withdrew from college in 2021 after a suicide attempt and had planned to return the next school year, but something kept pulling me away from it. Something just felt off and I just decided that my heart would tell me when it would be the right time to go back.

I'm not gonna say any of that was an easy choice, especially as a person who was an overachiever for the entirety of my school years. I was anal about maintaining my 4.2 GPA, and a lot of how I based my worth was on how well I was doing in school. I was already holding on for dear life by the time I entered college, and I quickly burned out when every bit of trauma I'd put on the back burner to get through school finally rose to the surface.

I struggled with ego a lot. I threw myself into work and I tried to avoid letting people know I wasn't in school because I felt like they'd think I was stupid or lazy. I come from a college educated family, and every single person in my life had zero doubt I'd go to school. I had been telling everyone since I was literal child that I had plans of going to medical school, so I really felt like I had dropped the ball. It really wasn't until this summer that I finally started to feel like I made the right choice. I had been full time nannying and house-managing up until this year and I could feel my body deteriorating rapidly.

I'm finally at a place with my music where I'm living completely off of it, and while making music isn't just a monetary gain for me, I won't say I enjoyed the starving artist life, as much as I tried to romanticize it. I remember telling my mom if I couldn't pursue music, I'd die, because there's nothing else I wanted to do. And I guess my heart was right, lol.

I'm really sorry if this was kind of a tangent. This was my experience, however. I too struggle with adhd and autism, so I completely understand the position you're in.. and being an artist who can’t make art due to constraints that seem beyond your control.. that's torture. I don't know the extent of your living situation and if you've discussed any alternatives to living at home, but my heart truly goes out to you. That definitely makes it more difficult. I really took a leap of faith in what I chose to do, but I'm very fortunate to have a family that's not only accepting, but I'm also able to lean on them if desperate times called for desperate measures. I know that's a privilege that isn't granted to everyone and I definitely don't take it for granted.

I'll leave it here: school will always be there. You can go back at any time, any age. having any sort of a degree can open a lot of positions for you. Even ones outside of your field. A lot of the time, people just want to see paper. If you want to feel somewhat secure and comfortable with a steady income, school might be the best choice and you might need to just hunker down and get through it. But, and especially in times like these, school also isn't everything, and it feels like bachelor's degrees have become the new GED's in so many places. There's a great sense of freedom in taking the leap of faith and pursuing a passion, but it's difficult to know when to do that as well. I can’t make that choice for anyone.

I know you'll make the right choice, even if it takes you a few years to realize it. I believe in you 🤍

#ask 🥀

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easierreadthandone4711 · 1 year ago

Text

Shark Week

It’s about that time for my uterus to start torturing me, reminding me that I am not carrying a child inside. I know this, not only because of my calendar but because my emotions just shifted from sad girl to don’t fxckin try me. This usually lasts only a day thankfully, otherwise I’m just a sensitive girly. I think the most embarrassing time was tearing up from a bounty paper towel commercial.. it’s a problem to say the least.

Truly, I think my period serving as a reminder that I’m without child just brings my ass down. I have three babies, two angel babies and I’m still bumming over this monthly reminder? Yes. If there was anything I was certain about, it’s that I am supposed to be a mom. The silly part is getting bummed out as if I’ve even had the sex to make one. 🥲 #sadgirl for life I guess. When am I not a sad girly? When I’m with my babies. Every month, it’s the same thought: do I really wish I were pregnant? Yes. Every. Damn. Month.

I’ll be honest, I’m not even someone who “enjoyed” being pregnant. I didn’t hate it either, however, the hurdles I went through made it difficult to say “I love being pregnant”.

I miscarried the first time I got pregnant, and almost died after having my first. Two blood transfusions were needed, officially putting me in a “high risk” category after an antibody was found. My youngest was the smoothest pregnancy and labor I had. I imagine she’s the reason I’m so confidently ready to keep having babies.

The flutter that turns into kicks is definitely a highlight of all my pregnancies. I would play with my babies while they were in there, a little game of tag if you will. I would tap on different parts of my belly and wait for their response. I spoke to them all the time. Little did they know, they were becoming my best friends. There was never a time I felt alone while I was pregnant, they were as present to me as if they were out of my body already. “Good morningggg” “What are we going to eat?” “You know what you need to try, your grandfathers veal piccata” “Sorry that was so loud, it’ll quiet down again soon” I feel like my hand never left my belly.

When I say I was SAD when they were out of my body… oof. The loneliness I felt. Now I had to share them with this horrible world and this world doesn’t deserve them. The maternal instincts had kicked in when I saw the positive sign on the stick to protect them but it amplified in ways I never imagined. A trip to the grocery store was scarier than it used to be. I can’t trust the drivers around me, everything is filthy, I don’t want them getting sick, every stranger was a potential danger to my baby and it was overwhelming at times. Getting gas? Stepping out of the car with them inside of it, you’d see me making silly faces or waving into the window. “Mommy is still hereeeee - you’re not alone”

Frankly, I don’t think that feeling has gotten any better. They’re ranging from 12-15 years old now and the fact that I can’t be with them every moment leaves a constant reel of ‘things that can go wrong’ playing in my head. Are their peers being kind to them? Are their teachers treating them with respect? Don’t worry, I’m not irrational in any of this. I realize my kiddos have to grow into themselves and this society we live in today and they need to do that their own ways. I can only hope that if they find themselves in a situation where they are unsure how to move, they’ll reach out to me.

I’ll never be able to understand the neglectful parents, The abusive parents, The absent parents - never ever. When I look at my children, there’s not a damn thing I wouldn’t do to keep them happy healthy and safe. Not one fxcking thing. Our babies are born and as a mother, you’re literally their lifeline. You’re it. You’re the one responsible to love them and take care of them. I’m not going to dismiss fathers here but let’s be realistic and admit that there’s something about the bond between a mother and her child. The baby felt you first, they heard you first, their heartbeat started in you. That’s something NOBODY else in the world can say they have except that mother and that child.

Post partum depression is a struggle in itself. Not only did you spend the last nine months growing a life inside of you but now your beautiful baby is here and for some reason you’re not okay. Then you blame yourself. 😓 I should be happy. I should be over the moon in love with my baby. I’m already a bad mom, I’m not even happy. The guilt, the shame and the doubt that inserts itself creates such a dark shadow over you. The baby is crying and you sit there staring off or maybe you cry too. If by chance you’ve dealt with this before, or maybe dealing with it currently, please know, there’s nothing wrong with you. Give yourself some grace as your body just went through something truly traumatic. You did not just deliver a pizza, you grew a life inside of you, managed to bring them into this world - THAT in itself is incredible, as many women who were unable to do so can probably tell you the same, it’s not easy for some. Be proud of yourself, even if just for this moment right here as you read this. Be proud of yourself. You made it this far and you and baby are gonna grow with each other, into this new life together. The life before them doesn’t exist anymore, it’s not supposed to feel easy and seamless. You’re gonna figure it out and I know you’re strong enough because you made it this far already. Don’t discredit the last nine months. Don’t discredit the labor. You did that shit and you’re gonna conquer so much more and it’ll be the most bittersweet and incredible thing to watch your baby learn and grow into their own selves… and as strong as you remain, they’ll mimic your strength in the future. There’s no giving up now mama - you’re gonna show that baby EXACTLY what you’re made of. You’re that badass who brought them into this world and you’re gonna walk alongside them in this world - frankly, they won’t even notice that they’re carrying you too. They’re the reason you keep going ♥️ y’all have each other, just like that day you saw those two lines show up on that stick.

Didn’t expect this post to go this route but I miss my babies and there’s not a second that goes by that I don’t remember why I’m here - and that’s because of them 💜💚🩷

#travel #massachusetts #motherhood #ppd #postpartum #babies #shark week

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lonesomedreamer · 1 year ago

Text

SNW Liveblog: “Spock Amok”

Vulcan! I’m always excited to see Vulcan.

Oh, this is a dream. Got it. Also, Ethan looks kind of hot as “human” Spock.

So in Spock’s dream, his human and Vulcan halves are embodied by two separate people who must to fight to the death (over T’Pring)…what a heavy-handed, very literal way to represent his insecurities.

lmfao @ this space station—I get updating certain designs now that they have the budget and technology to do so, but there’s no way they had this kind of tech in the 23rd century (as it was depicted in TOS), even in a slightly alternate timeline…

“I plan to spend most of my time here with my fiancee, T’Pring.” Going to grit my teeth and ENDURE this. Reluctantly.

Spock’s quarters are, like Pike’s, ENORMOUS. He isn’t even the first officer, why are they so big…???

They’re also boring af compared to the way he had his cabin done up in TOS with the red wall-hangings and such. I do appreciate the little grate in the right corner, an obvious nod to the TOS design (albeit a tiny one).

No, please, don’t kiss. Really. (They do, of course.)

Apparently Spock is “redecorating.” There are splashes of red on some of the walls, so I guess that’s as close as I’m going to get to the og design?

T’Pring is, appropriately, a bitch.

The new design of the famous green tunic shirt is horrendous. It’s not my favorite look on Kirk—I’m a boring, standard-issue gold shirt girlie—but Shatner pulls it off. This one doesn’t even fit Pike properly, looks like it’s made of pleather, and any skin it’s supposed to show is covered by a black undershirt. It’s a no from me.

And so far, Pike strikes me as a pretty bad diplomat. I’m sure the show obviously wants me to think he’s an exemplary one—if so, give me some proof to back it up!

Once again, nothing about these civilian clothes is a) going to age any better than the mod 60s-inspired designs of TOS did or b) visually appealing/interesting even right now.

“They don’t shore leave. They shore stay.” This DIALOGUE. I don’t know if I can handle another 15 episodes of this.

I’m unsure how I feel about them giving T’Pring genuine grievances In her relationship with Spock, like him having to work late when they’re supposed to meet for dinner. On one hand, it does seem more realistic than the reasons she gave in TOS…but doesn’t that then imply that her ultimate decision to leave Spock is based on emotion? (It’s already based on emotion in a way, of course—that emotion being affection/lust for another man.) What’s more, I’m not sure it NEEDS to be realistic. T’Pring is not a nice person, maybe not even an ethical person…and that’s fine. We’re talking about the woman who was totally willing to let a total stranger die just because she didn’t want to marry him. Female characters don’t have to be nice and good to have worth. I don’t like T’Pring, but female characters don’t have to be likable, either!

It makes so little sense, because SNW’s T’Pring is both prejudice and emotionally abusive anyway! Her telling Spock that she’s concerned that he’s becoming more human due to his Starfleet career is appropriate for her character and also cruel of her. Which is, again, appropriate.

Y es! More of this, please! (Preferably with better lighting…but beggars can’t be choosers.)

While I’m all for erasing Roger Korby, I don’t know that replacing Christine’s fiance with Random Redshirt #6 is a great choice. Can’t a girl just be single? Especially since said Random Redshirt is the total opposite of Spock, with whom she was already flirting back in Episode 1.

Wow, they let La’an have some personality in this scene. Granted, her personality is defined by cynicism and misanthropy…but I’m shocked!

However, that somewhat pointless Number One/La’an scene interrupted the first real Spockstine scene (aka the reason I’m watching) of the ENTIRE series. Rude!

@deeneedsaname Girl, where are you when I need you?? It’s finally happening!

“You’re clearly an extraordinarily intelligent person. But you’re also an idiot.” Once again, file under: things Christine would never say (*to Spock. Maybe to Bones or another crewman. But not to Spock.)

“That is not a human gesture I am familiar with.” Like hell it isn’t, Spock darling. As if Amanda wouldn’t gently (or, sometimes, not so gently) smack some sense into Sarek…or even into Spock, as the case may be.

“That’s what being in a relationship is. It’s mutual sacrifice. Pretty much why I avoid them.” I like the callback to what T’Pring said earlier—HOWEVER, Christine Chapel is, canonically, the literal queen of (not-so-mutual) sacrifice for a relationship! She changed careers and signed aboard a galaxy-wide exploratory mission to find her missing fiance!!! You don’t even have to keep Korby’s character to maintain that (essential, imo) element of her character…?

“An incompatible mate.” Oof, that word choice.

As fervently as I ship this…when did Christine and Spock become close enough for Spock to feel comfortable discussing his dreams with her over a private dinner? Did I somehow miss that scene in a previous episode???

I do, however, love that this is an allusion to the scene in “Amok Time” where Spock tells Christine that he’s been dreaming about her.

I-Chaya reference!

“What are friends for?” I’m choosing to believe this is also a deliberate allusion to the exchange between Kirk and Bones in Search for Spock. <3

Cute! They’re cute!!!

“A Vulcan soul-sharing?” It’s called a mind meld, girl. Also, good thing she consents, since that’s a huge component of Vulcan marriage, and she already asked him to marry her…?

Bodyswap shenanigans…so, they’re ripping off another (serious/tragic) TOS episode this week for shits and giggles? I’m far from opposed to light-hearted or filler episodes (who doesn’t love Tribbles and “A Piece of the Action”?!) but it’s a lot harder to pull off with 10-episode seasons and questionable script quality.

“Spock, I do not like hijinks.” File under: things T’Pring, or any other Vulcan, would never say.

Spock had to perform a mind-meld with Kirk while he occupied Janice Lester’s body before he really believed that their minds had been switched. But with an important diplomatic mission on the line, Pike’s just going to take Spock and T’Pring’s story at face value without any actual evidence…?

Speaking of…how the hell do they already know about tribbles?! Also, I’m skipping every scene of this comedy subplot. Apparently I, too, hate fun.

Pike has some kind, eloquent things to say about Spock. Fanservice!

Who knew that male-pattern baldness was also a thing on Vulcan…

Everybody Except T’Pring Loves Spock: The Episode (TSFS was Everybody Loves Spock: The Film) <3

“Humans evolved from apes, did they not?” a) No, humans evolved alongside apes—and we are, in fact, considered apes ourselves; and b) logic dictates that Vulcans must have evolved from something, too, buddy!

Spock being defensive of Christine! Spock punching a guy for insulting Christine!!! We love to see it. (I saw someone claim that this was Spock being defensive of himself, but it’s definitely his repeated comments about Christine that trigger Spock’s reaction.

So the thing that even a high Vulcan priestess doubted could be done/was purely a thing of legend (katra being transferred between bodies by a third party) is actually standard medical procedure that can be performed with ease in the Enterprise Sickbay? Don’t tell Kirk and Bones…

“You know you can call me Christine.” Another nice allusion to their scene from “Amok Time”.

“Vulcans cannot lie. At least not in the way that humans can.” He’s such a liar, actually, and we love him.

Ethan and T’Pring’s have so little chemistry, whereas he and Jess have SO MUCH of it.

Things I don’t want: Spock and T’Pring having sex. Spock and T’Pring cuddling after sex. Who asked for this!?!!? The Spirk shippers? The Spockstine shippers?? No! No one did! Besides, love triangles are boring.

She’s gorgeous, tho.

The Good: Some wonderful moments between Spock and Christine (finally!), including references to their most electric scene in TOS—Ethan and Jess’s chemistry—Pike expressing Spock’s value as a person and an officer and, by extension, the value/ideals of the Federation—Spock expressing why he needs/feels at home in Starfleet.

The Bad: Cringe dialogue continues to plague this show—almost all the Spock/T’Pring stuff—the entire body-swapping subplot—the (unfunny) comedy subplot feat. Number One and La’an—that UGLY rendition of the green tunic!

The real reason I’m watching SNW has taken center stage at last…or is at least stepping into the light! This was a lackluster and in many ways an unserious episode that nevertheless offered up a few gems, perhaps to make up for the fact that Spock and T’Pring actually have sex…thanks for that, Kurtzman! /s

#luth liveblogs snw

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greensaplinggrace · 3 years ago

Note

do you have any darklina fic recs?

I certainly have a few! But first I want to clarify that I don’t really read fic when I’m writing it, and since I have so many fics in the works right now, I haven’t really been reading a lot of fanfiction. So this list probably won’t be as extensive as it could be.

Here are some other great fic recommendation posts, however:

DARKLINA FIC RECS by @vicioux

DARKLINA FIC RECS // part ii by @vicioux

Darklina Ruling the World Together Fic Recs by @clubofthestarlesssaint

Tumblr Ficlets

Aleksander’s First Memory by @kestrafagnor

Fivan Talk About Darklina by @jomiddlemarch

a little light in the great, big dark by @valkyrhys

Alina tells Mal she’s with Aleksander by @lorsanbitch

Darklina week day 5: intimacy & touch by @starlesscne

AO3 Fanfiction

if it ain’t me by larry_hystereks (Incomplete - 10/13 Chapters)

alina’s in her second year at Yale when she meets aleksander at one of his frat parties.

a hookup with the potential for more, only if alina wasn’t still struggling to piece herself together from last year’s breakup.

or: alina, zoya, their trust issues, and the men that fall for them

---

I’m only at about chapter 6 of this fic currently, but so far it’s one of my all time favorite Modern AUs. The characterization for Alina and Aleksander is incredibly well done, and the entire fic itself is so feminist and queer in such a refreshing way. Aleksander and Alina are bisexual as fuck, both with their own separate complex lives, and much of Alina’s own traumas and relationships are explored outside of Aleksander.

There’s some Zoyalina, with Nikolina friendship and endgame Zoyalai. There’s some mystery and some tension, but nothing too extreme, and a lot of the fic is merely an exploration in growth and overcoming one’s history and learning how to move on in healthy ways. I love it.

She Wears a Collar (With My Name) by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

She is immortal, and whatever lingering hints of humanity she may have once had have long been bleached from her heart.

I will grant you one wish, boy, if it is in my power to do so. What does a Shadow Smith most want?

"You," he answers.

Written for Darklina Week 2021 - Day 2: Role Reversal

---

This piece is just exquisite. This author’s writing style is one that I particularly enjoy. Their stuff is always so uniquely composed and crafted, and this one especially is a work of art. The way Darklina as a relationship is portrayed in particular is fascinating to me because it’s a role reversal but it’s still so complex. Aleksander’s character is nailed.

the bright sun was extinguish’d by athousandwinds (Complete)

Somewhere, deep in the dark forests of Ravka, a boy grows up on stories of Sankta Alina of the Wastes, the Sun-Scorched Saint.

---

This fic is just straight up magnificent. It’s so engaging and I love love love the way a role reversed Aleksander who joins the army is portrayed. He reminds me so much of Demon in the Woods Aleksander, as if he’s exactly what a grown version of that young boy would be. When I say I adore his characterization in this I’m not lying.

If I wanted any completed fic I’ve read to have a second chapter, it would be this one.

Winter in the Little Palace by redisxwing (Complete)

Written for Yuletide 2020.

Baghra and Alina's wildly different perspectives on the Darkling, and how things could have gone if nobody listened to Baghra.

Warning: Baghra is written as a harsh and arguably abusive parent, and this is darkfic about that relationship, with a side of shipping. Everything is terrible (except the parts that are pretty much okay).

Canon divergence pretty much as soon as Alina gets lessons in summoning.

This fic is likely not compatible with King of Scars (or any subsequent work).

---

As is said in the summary, this one makes Baghra a bit more extreme. If you’re a fan of Baghra, this fic probably isn’t for you. But since I’m not a fan of Baghra, I had no problems with it.

My biggest praise for this fic is in regards to the character interactions and the POVs. There’s a brilliant grasp of unique perspective and how to convey it, and that talent is carried over into the way character interactions are brought to life in the text. Also, there’s a scene where Alina gets kind of protective of the Darkling, which is one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to Darklina.

Good Ideas by FelixRivers (Complete)

Alina Starkov had a very good idea. Aleksander Morozova would definitely agree. (or: Alina wants to go camping and Aleksander won't complain)

---

This fic is just straight up adorable and hilarious. They’re such a cute couple and Alina’s POV is great. It’s just pure fluff and humor 💕

I’m not a bad girl, but I do bad things with you by SanktaJenya - @sankta-arya (Complete)

Winter had been hard on Old Baghra and Ana Kuya was worried about her, so she decided that Alina should make the trip to her cottage on the other side of the woods to bring her some food and kvas. On her way there, Alina meets a stranger...

Darklina Red Riding Hood/Company of Wolves AU

Darklina Week, Day 4, Fairytales

---

This fic has a splendid grasp of tension and atmosphere. It’s very enchanting and dark and intriguing, and it nails those aspects with absolute precision. I love the style and the way the fairytale is incorporated into the narrative. It’s truly a masterpiece.

The Wretched by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

“We are strangers, but I want to help.” He growls at her, mocking and mistrustful. “I understand,” she said. “You think I am one of them. I certainly look like one of them. But I want to help you. Will you let me?” Prompt: fairytale. Alina saves a dragon.

---

Okay so I’ve mentioned this one before as one of my Top 5 fics of all time and I still stand by that. I can’t even describe why I love this fic so much except that the pacing is amazing and the prose is stunning and the story is beautiful. Aleksander is a dragon and Alina is a witch, and their relationship is just so...interesting and fascinating and lovely. I would literally kill for this fic. There’s such a softness to it as well. Such a tenderness. Idk, I just really love it.

Show Me Who You Are (I Want To Know) by Ceris_Malfoy (Incomplete - 12/?)

Alina takes her future in her own hands and makes her own decisions.

---

This is a great “what if Alina had stuck around after the reveal” rewrite. It doesn’t have Mal bashing and in fact still writes them as close friends, which is something I’m fond of in Darklina fics. Aleksander is allowed to be soft and Alina is allowed to be powerful, and I really enjoyed the take on their dynamics as a power couple wherein Alina is given a lot of control.

There’s something to be said for the way Aleksander is written in the scenes where he must be honest and earnest with Alina. I really enjoy the way they both come to equal ground, and I’m even more fond of the way Alina is allowed to grow darker without losing her light. She also engages a lot with quite a few other characters, developing tons of friendships and alliances on her own that help strengthen her as an individual character.

on this bridge between starshine and clay by @rhea-imagined (Complete)

"His breath narrows for a moment, his fist clenched tight before he forces himself to loosen it. She is his only opportunity for salvation, but vulnerability is not a cape he wears easily. “In those days, there was less prejudice against Shadow Summoners. But everyone fears the dark, in one way or another.” He does not look at her as he waits for the penny to drop, half-hoping it stays suspended in the air."

In which Alexander comes clean to Alina and tells her about his true identity in hopes that this will help convince her to take down the Fold.

A rewrite of the fountain scene in episode four, with a good!Darkling that is trying to make amends.

---

This is my all-time favorite good!Aleksander AU. He’s kept in character despite the major changes made to his motivations, and Alina is given a lot more agency in her own story. It’s the first fic in what might become a series, but it can stand alone beautifully.

I love how Aleksander and Alina’s relationship is allowed to grow tense without breaking, and how it’s a clear sign of change but not abandonment. I love how both characters are able to think for themselves and become self-aware and are given the chance to think critically. I love the character interaction so much because it’s honest and fresh and engaging. Everything from the smallest action to the most off-hand thought is in character and meaningful and incorporated with an amazing style of writing. It’s a very refreshing piece, and the writing only makes it that much better.

Bunnies of a Feather Stitch Together by Ill_Ratte (Complete)

"Just as Alina called to the light, gathering and twisting it into a ball in her hands, the door swung open.

Kirigan blacked out the door frame. His appearance enough would have surprised Alina, but there was something clutched in his arm, something dark and floppy. It almost looked like the stuffed toys that had been passed around to the younger Orphans." - Alina and The Darkling bond over a love of soft things

---

Soft stuffed animal shenanigans. Bits of trans!Aleksander, which I’m very fond of, as well as just a lot of fluff with a bit of something bittersweet and sad in a good way.

Half Lie by Ill_Ratte (Complete)

"Baghra always talked of the demon that had stolen her daughter." Or, Alina learns the hard way that the Darkling isn't the only one who deals in half-truths

---

This one is trans!Aleksander, and it handles it in a very interesting way. It’s quite sad, and deals a lot with Baghra & Aleksander’s relationship through Alina’s POV. I want to give a warning for transphobia, because it does center around that a lot as the premise, but it really is worth the read if that isn’t a trigger for you. This is one of my favorite trans!Aleksander fics, and the way it handles emotion and grief and pain is quite extraordinary.

The CEO and Helioseismologist by mrthology (Complete)

Aleksander Morozova doesn't get sick. He's the CEO of one of the most successful companies in the world, one that he had built from the ground up with blood, sweat, and tears. He exercised daily (usually), maintained a healthy diet, and kept himself fit.

He wasn’t sick.

Too bad no one believed him. And too bad Genya decided to call Ivan to take him home before also calling Alina to take care of him.

Maybe, just maybe, being sick wasn't so bad. Especially not when he has such a wonderful girlfriend.

---

Both of the fics in this series are great, but I love this one in particular because I’m an absolute sucker for hurt/comfort. Anyone who’s been on my blog for a while knows that it’s my all time favorite trope to read, and this fic fits the hurt/comfort trope to a T in the best of ways. It’s very tender and in character, and Aleksander and Alina are so soft with each other. It’s adorable and really makes you feel for Aleksander, and the caretaking is done perfectly.

All the different layers of dark (thousand little suns) by Anuna (Complete)

One month after the Winter Fete, Aleksander returns to the Little Palace, and Alina has been missing him.

Episode five canon divergence in which Alina had never left Os Alta.

---

This one is soft emotional hurt/comfort smut. They’re both so open and vulnerable with each other, and it’s so beautiful to read. I love the writing style and the emotion in this one. It makes my heart ache in the best way.

An Honourable Man by liviy695 (Complete)

A reimagining of the scene after the winter fete. Alina catches a glimpse of a caring Darkling after he returns from integrating the Conductor. Plus, no Baghra interference.

---

This one is what it says on the tin, in that Baghra doesn’t interfere and they’re allowed to talk after the Darkling interrogates the Conductor. But more than that, it’s a great imagining of how a scene where Aleksander reveals Marie’s death would have gone. There’s a sort of quiet to it that I appreciate, with grief and solemnity weighed against care and vulnerability.

I see the real you (even if you don’t, I do) by Anonymous (Incomplete - 8/?)

A series of questionable decisions lead Alina to meet the Black General a bit earlier. Butterfly effect ensues.

---

I’ve only read half so far (I hadn’t realized it had updated!! 👀👀) but I’m already in love with this fic. Alina’s dialogue and perspective is perfect, her relationship with Mal and the other cartographers is great, and I really enjoy how much personality she has. Aleksander is so smitten, but more than that, his characterization is soft but not weak. It feels almost as if he’s swept up by Alina, instead of the other way around, and I quite like that.

Of parenting by Anuna (Complete)

Alina finds out how her husband handled yet another parenting situation.

---

This is pure adorable Darklina parenting fluff and I live for it. Yet it doesn’t lack depth and in fact explored Alina and Aleksander’s relationship with parenting quite well.

i have a longing by LRCee - @ladylyannastark (Complete)

“So, Alina Starkov, risk-taker, how did you end up being editing’s newest wunderkind?”

Alina Starkov is rising in the publishing world. Singlehandedly responsible for editing (see: rewriting) the hottest book of the year, she lands a coveted spot at Morovoz Publishers. It's the position she's always wanted, at the biggest publishing house in the country. Life is perfect. That crush on her boss though, that's gotta go.

---

OKAY! I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH!! Let me tell you, as someone who is not too fond of Boss/Employee dynamics, I was very wary going into this fic. But boy did it deliver in a way that was perfect for me.

The relationship that develops between Aleksander and Alina is complex but healthy, and it never feels as if there’s too much of a power imbalance or anything that would make Alina feel forced or unhappy. The tension lies purely in how she fears others will perceive her, and not in how unhealthy her relationship with Aleksander is. For somebody who’s often attracted to unhealthy ships, I have to say that my favorite fics are usually ones that don’t have that type of dynamic between the characters. This fic delivers on that.

Also, Aleksander’s POV surrounding his struggle with his Russian heritage and his feelings for Alina is amazing, and has some of the best writing and characterization I’ve seen.

You receive: an evil demon; I receive: human souls by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

The next morning while she tried to tell herself it was a dream, that of course there wasn’t a fucking demon in her house, she found a note taped to her fridge.

“You might eat this shit,” it had written, “but I would like some fucking souls please.”

Darkling Week Prompt 7: free choice. Alina has a demon in her house.

This is absolute crack, and I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me.

---

May I just say that this is the most fun I’ve ever had when reading a fic. It’s interesting with a bit of mystery, and Aleksander as a little shit of a demon is hilarious. Alina in this fic is great too. It’s such a unique take on her POV, especially when you reread it after knowing the ending. 10000/10, this fic is brilliant in every way and I love it.

I had been lost to you, Sunlight by BrytteMystere (Complete)

A Girl became a Woman, became a Sankta, became a Goddess.

Or: An Immortal Alina calls upon merzost to reunite with the Prince of Shadows she lost long ago. She may have lost herself in the process.

But then again, maybe time and endless wars did that instead.

---

You really just have to read this one to get it. It is utterly haunting and fascinating in the best of ways. The writing style is strange and novel and fits so well with the story being told. The composition of the fic as a whole is genius.

I Look Inside Myself (And See My Heart Is Black) by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

"When is a monster not a monster? Why, when you love it, of course."

Written for Darklina Week 2021 - Day 6: Favorite Quote • King & Queen • Monster

---

Once more, this author comes through with an absolutely breathtaking writing style and story. The imagery is elegant yet brutal, simultaneously horrifying and glorious. There’s a certain way these stories are written, like fairytales, where the beautiful becomes the macabre and becomes ever more stunning because of it. It’s very dark but in a good way - an almost bewitching way.

Afterlife by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

“You are asking me to leave?”

“Not asking, shadow,” she said. “Telling. Time to get unlost, loser.”

Day 3 Darklina Week prompt: Modern AU (I mean, barely)

Alina expels ghosts from purgatory.

---

@aceofnowhere once again bringing the best of the paranormal to the Grishaverse. Literally everything you write is amazing idk why I’m even pointing out individual fics when I could just rec your whole page. But anyways!! This is fun and interesting and Alina is a badass. Aleksander is, of course, compelling and dark and kind of a little shit, and it’s all incorporated seamlessly into an existential paranormal narrative.

Once Upon a Shooting Star by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

"But most of all, she was drawn to a vast darkness that reached out above all of them, a void so hungry for companionship that she knew she could fulfill."

---

Let. Alina. Be. Feral!! Anyways, I clearly have a type when it comes to storytelling, and it’s whatever the fuck this person has got going on. Feral!Star!Alina is literally the light of my life. Her interactions with not only other people but the world in general are so well done, but my favorite parts about this fic are the numerous ways her relationship with Aleksander is described and depicted.

I love the dark and light imagery, especially with how it’s portrayed as them filling in the gaps of each other’s lives and supporting each other instead of trying to block each other out. There’s such clear passion and joy and love and devotion between them. The central focus of this fic is on her and Aleksander’s relationship, the interplay between them and their powers and the way her light fills his loneliness, the passing of adoration and trust and reliance between them. It’s very beautiful and I love it.

A Blaze of Light by Keira_63 (Complete)

They discover the Sun Summoner in the burnt-out remains of the Shu laboratory in which she has spent the last seven years of her life.

Or, the Darkling finds himself with a Sun Summoner whose greatest wish is to burn Shu Han to the ground. He is happy to oblige her.

---

👀👀 Badass Alina and Badass Aleksander. The ultimate power couple, and Alina burning a path through Shu Han before they both burn a path through the world together. The darkness and rage in this one are handled very well, and the way that rage turns to coldness and then resolve is done so well. This fic is very cathartic and also very furious, and reading it is certainly a trip down emotion lane.

One more for the Road by Rist (Complete)

He returns to the war room shaken, and finds an Alina that cannot leave without at least having tried.

---

This one hurts so much but its soooo gooood!!! Very smutty but also very tender and very bittersweet. Sad and soft all at once. I just... love the way Alina and Aleksander are written so much, and Alina’s complicated feelings for him are explored in such detail and depth. This one is truly worth the read.

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extravaguk · 4 years ago

Text

sweets&ink

part of my opposites attract! series.

ksj / knj / myg / jhs / pjm / kth

pairing:��tattooartist&tattoed!jungkook x baker!reader

summary: jungkook was everything you feared but exactly what you needed to heal your broken heart.

wordcount: 5k

genre: fluff - angst - smut (s2l!au)

rated: m (?

warnings: some cursing, mentions of past abusive/toxic relationships/trauma that might be triggering, a lil of making love at the end. it’s overall just suuper fluffy, trust me. jungkook is a s i m p. we love that for him! slow burrrnnnn.

Jungkook knows it was love at first sight, but doesn's know how to really explain it.

He knew from the moment he entered the small shop, pastel green walls welcoming him replete of sugary treats, a sweet and heavenly scent engulfing him as soon as he stepped a foot inside. With a new found sense of calmness and serenity within he hadn't experienced in a long time, he searched for deserts of his liking, mouth watering while assessing the many options of baked goods available and bright colored frostings stealing his attention.

"Hi. How may I help you?"

Then he looked up and found you. It wasn't easy to appreciate your whole appearence with the counter hiding the lower half of your body, but it was enough for Jungkook to think to himself that he had never seen a prettier girl in hiis entire life. And that's when he knew it. Any type of movement in his surroundings coming to a halt, his heart skipping a beat, his favourite song playing inside his head. And that particular sensation. The same one that had made him feel so at ease since he found your bakery. For a moment he thought his doe eyes might have actually turned into heart eyes until you raised your eyebrows, a concerned expression replacing your previous warm smile.

Blinking his eyes and clearing his throat, coming down from cloud nine into the real world, he stuttered his order as best as he coud manage, heart pounding inside his chest and later feeling mortified for not being able to pronounce "gingernap cookies" correctly.

At first he kind of hated Seokjin for blackmailing him into going to his favourite bakery to buy his favourite cookies (Jungkook really should've known better than accidentally spill ink all over Jin's new script), but when he comes back home with a goofy smile on his face and dreams of your face, he makes sure to text him he'll go get his cookies anytime he wants.

But Jungkook is a masochist apparently.

Because a week after your first encounter he realizes that not being able to get his mind off a girl he's literally only seen once in his entire life is not exactly normal. Not for anyone, but especially not for him. Realizes that the way he embarrassed himself in front of you and probably looked like a bluberring mess (or a creepy weirdo who had never interacted with any woman before) is not reason enough to not keep wanting to try again. And the way you just giggled at him and simply shook your head as you wrapped the ginger cookies he had asked for in a pretty packaging has kept him aching for more.

So he comes once a week now. Still as nervous as the first day, but content to see that your face seems to light up at the sight of him stepping through the door the same way his does. He likes to see you in your cute pastel dresses, and if he didn't know better he'd think you were just trying to keep up with the bakery's aesthetic. But the more he frequents your shop, the more he realizes you're exactly like the treats you bake. He likes how your vividly honeyed persona contrasts with his darker and reserved one. Likes how you're all colors of the rainbow and he's just a scale of greys.

They are small interactions. Just courtesy and cordial exchange of words everytime he visits. He doesn't even know your name and you don't even know his, but sometimes he asks how was your weekend and sometimes you ask how many people had he inked that week. Sometimes he tells you how pretty you look, and sometimes you blush in response. Sometimes you add an extra macaron in his order and sometimes he debates on whether or not he should write down his number on a napkin and slide in right on the countertop before he waves goodbye.

And although Jungkook has never been one to shy away from women, he feels a certain way he can't exactly pinpoint. A way that makes his confidence falter and leaves him feeling like a little kid who's afraid to confess to the girl he likes. Because as cliché as it sounds, you're not like any other girls he's ever met. You don't feel like any other girl he's ever met. Not the older than him, tattoed and pierced type of girl he's accustomed to; not the type of girl that's addicted to trouble and believe him (maybe even hoped) to be something he's not. So it takes a while for him to summon up enough bravery and determination. It takes weeks of pining and overthinking, and a single push from Yoongi ('stop being a fucking pussy and just do it') to ask you to have coffee with him.

"I... I'm sorry. I can't."

And it only takes those words leaving your mouth to shatter his heart into pieces.

It's fine though, he told you and himself. He wasn't going to be one of those guys who believed the 'friendzone' was an actual thing and tried his best to not make you feel uncomfortable, really tried his best to erase the guilt across your face as you rejected him. So he scratched the back of his head and mustered up a big smile before leaving the shop with a bag full of cupcakes and an unsettled stomach.

Letting out a deep breath you didn't even know you were containing, you observe as the handsome stranger exits the shop. Running a hand through your hair before gripping the counter with your hands, you try to steady the heavy throbbing insde your chest.

The boy in question had been unknowingly tormenting you and flooding your mind with thoughts of him for almost two months now. That day you first had spotted him eyeing the desserts in display in amazement and then you in the very same way. It was sudden and precipitated, but it had almost made your head spin, something you hadn't felt in a long time unexplainable tugging at your insides.

You had kept your cool as best as you could, as best as you had taught yourself in the past. Wrapped those cookies he had asked and then waved goodbye, hoping under your breath he wouldn't come back but silently wishind he would. But then he did. He came back once. And then again. And again, and before you realized he had become a frequent costumer. Trying whatever treats you'd recommended him, creating small talk, sending friendly smiles here and then.

You had learned to expect him at the very same time, the very same day of the week; had learned to manage the fluttering in your tummy and the reddish warmth spreading through your cheeks whenever the eye contact was prolongued. Everything was innocent, it was brief and, most importanly, it never went beyond, even if sometimes you hoped it did.

However, after all these years, there was still something you hadn't learned to control yet. And as he spoke, clearly nervous, hesitant and clearly out of his comfort zone, wondering out loud if he could ever treat you to a coffee sometime, your body shut down. The fondness and excitement you had been harboring over the last few weeks quickly replaced by that which made you want to recoil, made you want to back to your well to let its darkness and loneliness envelop you.

That horrible and ugly wave of crippling fear and axiety all mixed together; a little monster that you had successfully concealed, now displaying its ears in warning and the same smile that had been haunting you for years, now advising you, reminding you and most of all, threatening you, to go back to your own comfort zone. And so, powerless, there was nothing else you could really to but to comply, muttering an apology and a rejection that probably pained you more than it pained the boy in front of you.

You knew you did the right thing, but it definitely didn't feel like it.

Especially a week later, as you expected his arrival- as always, ready with a tray full of fresh baked scones you had particularly made just for him, but were left severely disappointed when time passed and he was nowhere to be seen. Or two weeks later, after spending an extra hour making cake pops that you had specifically designed with him in mind (covered in dark chocolate and white sprinkles), only to realize it was closing time and that he never even showed up.

To say you were bummed was an understatement. You knew you always looked forward to him coming in every week to grace your day with a smile and a polite talk, but you didn't come to terms with how much you would miss it until now. So three weeks later, you still bake with him in mind, trying not to lose hope but still chastising yourself for not being brave enough and accepting his offer. It was just a coffee date, for God's sake, not a marriage proposal! Trying to busy your mind with work and customers coming in and out, even if your eyes dart in anticipation everytime you hear the door swinging.

When hours pass and the sun hides to make room for the moon and stars into the sky, you look at the clock and, with a defeated sigh, finish cleaning and tidying around the shop. But before you can gather your things, the door swings open and there stands the stranger you had been praying to see again.

"Am I too late?" he asks, and you don't exactly know but can tell his words hold a double meaning. You smile, a genuine smile, because he looks bashful with a hand scratching the back of his head like he had done the last time you saw him, and because there's a warm sensation spreading through your chest, like your heart is smiling for you.

"I was about to close, but I can make an exception." you accomplish to say and surprisingly don't sound as nervous as you feel. He mirrors your smile as he walks closer to the counter. "So, what would you like?"

That takes him by surprise because he really had nothing in mind when he decided to come here and now he feels like an idiot.

"Uh, um... I would like... maybe cupcakes?" he sounds like an idiot too. But you nod and smile at him and start gathering his cupcakes into a polka dot cardboard box.

"You missed the cake pops I made last week." you say, trying to keep your voice in check as he hands you his credit car. "I think you would've liked them."

"Ah, sorry... Work has been really hectic." and even if it's true, it's also true the fact that he chickened out and was frightened to face you again. He likes how even when you're alluding to his absence, there's not a malicious tone behind your words. He likes how you're still smiling at him even after he's been acting like a pussy for two weeks. But that's why he's here. "I also would like to apologize for... you know. I didn't-...If I made you feel uncomfortable, I'm really sorry."

With your eyebrows raised, your smile dissipates. "What? No, you didn't do anything wrong, really. It's not- It's not that. I just...can't." you stumble through words, trying to explain how much you actually wanted to go to that coffee date, to get to know his name and more of himself, but unavailable to. You can feel it again. The same anguish that always seem to creep up on you and numbs you altogheter. But him, worriedly sensing your distress, waves his hands in front of him.

"No, no. It's fine, you don't have to explain anything! It's alright!" his smile seems to soothe you and you return his smile in gratitude. "Anyways, I'll... I'll get going. See you next week?"

You nod, anticipation already making its way into you. "See you next week." and then he takes the box filled with cupcakes and says goodbye. Before he can open the door though, a tingle of impulsivity and fearlesness makes you say:

"I'm _____, by the way."

He pauses, clearly taken aback.

"Jungkook."

Jungkook hasn't stopped repeating your name in his head ever since you gave it to him, grinning like a fool and thinking about how good it sounds next to his. He hasn't stopped frequenting your bakery either and has lost count on how much money he's spent on muffins and whatever else you sell. He doesn't care though. All he cares about is how much likes seeing you even if it's only for fifteen minutes in your floral dresses, and as long as you keep looking like you're glad to see him every time, then he's fine.

He's more than fine. He feels amazing. Sings tunes while he works on customers, feels his creativity flowing more than ever and he feels whole. It still baffles him how a minimun interaction with you once a week can make him feel on top of the world.

He's got a bouquet of white and pink lillies next time he visits, so sappy and romantic he doesn't even recognize himself. He doesn't tell you he googled their meaning and his mind instantly associated them with you. Purity is exactly what he thinks of you and admiration is exactly how he feels about you. Hands it to you and the surprised look on your face and the spreading of pink all over your cheeks makes his heart burst. You thank him and he tells you he didn't know what your favourite flower is. You answer it's carnations. He writes it down somewhere in his mind, for next time. And then you're the one surprising him.

"Would you like to have coffee sometime?"

There's uncertainty in your voice that doesn't go unnoticed by him, and for a moment he thinks he's dreaming. He's cool with what he's got right now with you, but you repeating his words back to him makes him feel euphoric, like he can't believe it. He knows he looks dumb, the way he's looking at you.

Completely dumbfounded. He stutters like the first same he met you, but he says yes (omits the part where he tells you he could almost die). You exchange number in each other's phones with shaky hands, set the day and hour, and then wave each other goodbye.

You instantly regret it as you watch him leave. Keep regretting it the following days. That voice in your head telling you 'it'll happen again', telling you fairytales didn't exist and this most likely wasn't one, even if it felt like it was, suffocating you like it had done many times before. Screwing with your head until you consider canceling.

But you power through it, like you had taught yourself to do. This time it's harder though. Because this time there's a new romantic interest at hand, one that's making you feel things you buried a long time ago and made you swear to yourself you'd be smarter and stronger than any man could.

It's Hoseok's encouraging words that help ease the panic. It was also Hoseok's words who encouraged you to ask Jungkook out. Said you deserved something good for once and that you couldn't close yourself to love your entire life.

Thought it was time for you to write a new chapter after a rather sad one.

So on Saturday, Jungkook insists on picking you up and it already feels like too much for you. Especially when he shows up with a bouquet of carnations in his hand and a smile that takes your breath away and definitely doesn't help to ease your nerves.

Takes him by surprised how pretty you look. maybe because it's the first time he's seen you out of your shop and even though you're still loyal to your clothing style, he still fumbles with his words like an idiot to try to express how beautiful you look. Seeing he's as much of a mess as you settles you a little bit. Then he takes you to a cute café that almost makes you laugh, because seeing him, inked arms and piercings and a closet that consisted mainly of black oversized t-shirts and pants in such a bright environment reminds you of the first time he entered your shop.

You're surprised to see how well the conversation rolls, how easy it is to talk to him beyond the usual brief interactions you two have. You like how he makes you laugh and how he seems to love hearing it. You like how his attention is solely focused on you, even if his gaze on yours sometimes feels too intense and his overall character intimidates you. You like how soft spoken he is, how careful he is with words and the sound of his voice. Sounds like a lullaby without melody.

And when the date is over, he drives you home, walks you to your door and respectfully wishes you a good night. You kiss him on the cheek spontaniously before hiding the embarrassment on your face and stepping inside your home. You miss the way he stays at your doorstep for a whole minute before getting in his car and driving himself home. You also miss how peacefully he sleeps that night, dreaming of cupcakes and you. You don't miss the heart emoji he sends you before going to bed, making yours quiver.

You're glad you didn't cancel, and now you're sure you don't regret it at all

It goes on. The dates, getting to know each other more and more, Jungkook's visits to your shop and spending way too much money on sweets and carnations, the butterflies in your stomach everytime he's near and the birth of something inside of you that's starting to make you feel alive after feeling dead for so long.

It's still new, still wholesome, moves in slow motion. You're glad Jungkook doesn't push, doesn't ask for anything, never demands more than a kiss on the cheek everytime he drops you off. He is nothing like he looks like, you realized that right away.

But with every brand new beginning that requires feelings like this, especially as unique and exceptional as the ones Jungkook is causing within you, comes the evil monster trying to scare you off, to make you back off and remind you that not everything that shines is gold. The voice inside your head that keeps bewitching you back into a dark room, reminder in your head everytime that one day Jungkook will want more. He'll want more and you might not be ready to give it to him.

A voice that keeps resonating and has kept you unmoving for the past few years and now is making you feel more frightened than ever.

You've been more quite than usual and Jungkook can tell something is not quite right. It's a friday night, and after having dinner that he insisted on paying, he decided this time to drive you away, to a secluded space somewhere where you both can appreciate the city lights on the hood of his car. He can tell, so he asks you, but you give a vague answer. He wants to ask again, but he's afraid of overstepping your boundaries. He wants to get to know you in every level, want's to scratch the surface until he can see everything. He wants to learn you inch by inch. Wants to love every part you bare to him, because he's sure he will.

"My ex partner was abusive."

You finally say with a voice that's not entirely yours, and it doesn't feel real. Doesn't feel real to say out loud and letting the words sink in. It's taken all this time of excusing behaviors that were not excusable, trying to make light of a situation that wasn't and blaming yourself for things that you were not to blame for. Jungkook stays silent, but his attention immediately focused on you as soon as you spoke. Eyes slightly wide and mouth starting to open as if to speak himself. But you go on.

"Not physically." you swallow a lump in your throat. "Sometimes he would throw things at me, but they didn't always land. Or... one time he pushed me while we were arguing. Never raised his hand at me though. It was mostly psychological and emotional. He was extremely jealous and possesive. Didn't like me hanging with my friends, would never bring me to hang out with him and his friends. Though I' was cheating on him with anyone. The cashier at the supermarket, a randome dude on the street that simply looked at me. Anyone." tears prickle your eyes, but you'd learned to hold them back.

"He would always get mad at me. Would already wake up angry and take it out on me. Without reason. Would always blame me for everything. He would get mad, insult me, call me any terrible name you can imagine, tell me I wasn't worth shit. That I wasn’t worth living.Then he would punch the wall, or break whatever was in sight. Everytime, I told him I was terrified of him. Would cry in a corner and beg him to stop. Sometimes he would just laugh at me for it." you sniff, still looking straight at the city lights, and trying to keep a composed tone throughout. You had grown up a lot since then, and you knew Jungkook deserved to know you. He deserved to understand.

"Then he would calm down, apologize while he cried and promised he loved me and would change. He never did. It took me a long time to finally walk away, but the demons still haunt me to this day. You," you choke, because comparing your ex to the guy currently sitting next to you was like day and night, like heaven and hell. "You make me feel things I've never felt before. I always felt like asking for respect was asking for too much. And then here you come, like a knight on shining armour ready to sweep me off my feet. It felt like a dream. Still does..."

Jungkook's hands are balled into tight fists, his whole body rigid as he listened to you. His own heart breaking, like he could feel himself inside you and experiencing your own heartbreak. His blood's boiling, jaw so tight and eyes blinking. Pushing down his anger, because this is about you not him, he lets his body relax before sliding your hand in yours.

"I like you so much,_____, it literally kills me at night how much. Not as much as hearing all of this, though. From the moment I saw you, I was whipped. I wanted and still want to give everything I can to see that smile of yours. It's me the one who can't believe you're paying me any attention at all." you're still not looking at him, but he still sighs in relief when your lips quirk up. "Just having you here next to me and letting me take you out on dates is more than enough for me. Whatever you give me, whatever your terms are, I'm content with that. You're healing, and while you do, I'll be right here."

You look at him now, not bothering to hide the tears streaming down your face anymore.

"What if I never heal completely?" there's fear in your voice as your eyes meet his, but just the dark brown in his gaze help you feel secure, less worried about the future and more serene about the now.

"I'll still be here."

It doesn't take long for you to call it love.

Not when Jungkook keeps proving himself to be so different and so special. Not when his gestures never cease to make you feel so special, so worthy of recieving and sharing love. Because Jungkook makes you feel invincible, makes you feel one in a million.

"What to you even see in me? We're like, polar opposites." you ask him one day. And it's true, you are. So different from each other, yet the same. He laughs in disbelief, shaking his head, still holding your hand in your doorstep about to kiss your cheek goodnight.

"I see everything." he simply says, eyes boring into yours in adoration. "I see the sun, and the moon, the stars, the entire galaxy when I'm with you." your heart clenches as he interlaces his fingers with yours. "Before I met you, I felt like I was blind. Like I was lost and was looking for an exit that I couldn't find. But then I saw you, in your little bakery, with your cute dresses and those eyes, and it was like my eyes opened for the first time. Everything made sense. Everything has been filled with so many colors ever sinc-"

You shut him with your lips on top of his, emotions pulling at your heartstrings the same way you pull him down by the neck. He takes a few seconds to respond, but then this hands are dropping to your waist, their warmth immediately spreading through your skin against the chilly night.

"Would you like to come in?" you whisper, breath fanning over his lips. He nods, hurriedly, and he knows he looks like a damn idiot for the hundredth time, but he doesn't care. Because coming in doesn't only mean stepping in your home. Coming in means you're letting him in. Means you trust him, means you want him there, means you're allowing him inside your heart.

Again, Jungkook doesn't expect nor demands much. Your presence is everything he needs. You kissing him is like winning the lottery to him. Like completing a marathon, like climbing the Everest, like getting his first tattoo. Kissing you is sweet, fills him with something strong that makes him feel on drugs, like nothing matters but you and him. Like nothing has ever mattered to neither of you.

So it's you who leads him to your room, it's you who straddles his thighs and pushes his hair back as his hands carress your sides. It's nothing fiery. It's slow, tentative, and full of care. Of lingering touches, low sighs against each other's mouths.

It's you who reaches inside his shirt, hand sneaking past the hem of the fabric and trembling cold fingers coming in contact with firm skin. It's also you who asks for more with a small roll of your hips. It's you who asks him to take his shirt off. It's him who complies. Still tells you you don't have to, you tell him you want to.

It's you who asks him to touch you. He's scared like he's never been, because you're you, and you're so perfect and everything he's ever wanted and suddenly he's afraid of you're too good for him. Jungkook only wants to make you happy, never wants to see you cry, just wants to treat you the way you deserve.

It's you who begs.

It's you who tells him you need him. Need him take care of you, need him to show you much you're worth, need him to help you write a new chapter, probably even a new book where you're both the main characters and nobody else has ever existed. You say it with tears in your eyes, and he's quick to kiss them away, tongue entangling with yours. He's quick to undress you as well, with hands that still ask for permission even after you've granted it already. Hands and lips that are also quick and eager to learn your body, to find every mole in your skin as he lays you back to look at you in admiration. He keeps kissing you. From head to toe, muttering praise, making sure every 'beautiful' and 'gorgeous' and 'perfect' that leave his lips stay fire engraved in your being forever.

He first makes you cum with careful fingers and skilled tongue, thighs wrapped aro around his head, eyes still looking for yours as his hands keep your body still and yours crumple the sheets beneath. Tells you how good you taste, how long he's been dying to have you like this. Tells you this you his favourite sight as he kisses his way up.

You beg him again, asking him to please, please, fill you up. He groans against your mouth and he tells you again, you don't have to. He says he's happy like this. Repeats he's in no rush and just wants to please you and make you feel good. That it's about you, and will always be about you. You beg him again, and again and again, enticing him with a trail of wet kisses down his neck, up to his eralobe. You whisper there, tell him you need him to fill you with his cock so bad. His whole body goes rigid as your legs wrap around him, legs pulling him closer to where you want him, his erection grazing your entrance and his teeth nibble your lower lip.

Jungkook doesn't move for a while, eyes closed shut, jaw clenched and head buried in your neck. He doesn't move because his mind is somewhere else keeping him stagnant, pussy wrapping around him so good and wet and tight he's about to bust. Takes a while for him to move, but when he does he makes sure to grip your thighs around him, keeping you close, never wanting to let go as he tells you you were made just for him. Just for him. Tells you how good you feel. He tells you he loves you. Kisses your lips as you sob, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. He tells you he loves you. Tells you he'll love you forever and will always keep you safe and happy.

You're crying now, cheeks wet and he stops for a moment to look at you, concern written all over his face as his hands craddle yours, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. "We can stop, baby." You shake your head no. Pull him back into another kiss, urging him to go on. You tell him you love this, love him so much. That it's a good thing. That they are happy tears. That you've never been happier. And then his hips start moving again, your words egging him own, soft whimpers and sobs leaving each other's throats until you cum at the same time.

He then removes himself from you, rolling onto your side but he's quick to pull your body close, arms wrapping around you and lips kissing away the wet stains on your cheeks.

It doesn't take long for you to know Jungkook would be the healthy forever and after you had always dreamed of.

#THE FEEELS BRUH #aaaaaa #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #bts #jungkook fic

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astaroth1357 · 4 years ago

Text

What Would it be like to Switch Bodies with the Brothers

In honor of the swap event I suppose (but also needed an easy prompt because I’ve been really busy trying to clean/fix our house and the exhaustion is getting to me)

Lucifer

… Feel the power.

They would literally be so tall and so strong it’d be insane. The kind of body that’d make them want to break things because it’d just be So. Easy. They feel like they’re one of the strongest people in the room and they’ll start to believe it too!

But also, so much fatigue… Lucifer probably deals with muscle tension and back pain because of all the paperwork and stress so they’d be feeling all of that too...

Using his commanding powers would also be hella fun (and easy to abuse) so someone like Barbs is probably going to have to follow them around to be sure the mere mortal doesn’t get drunk on the sudden power...

Bonus:

Lucifer wants out of their body NOW. He hit his toe against a wall and is STILL limping it off… It’s humiliating and he hates feeling this fragile so somebody fix this!!!

Mammon

Why can’t I stop stealing things…?!?

Mammon’s hands practically have a mind of their own… The MC keeps walking by places and casually slipping other people’s things in their pockets without realizing it. It’s like a reflex!

It’s kind of bizarre for everyone else to watch because, from the outsider’s perspective, it’s scumbag Mammon taking their things… then apologizing like five seconds later then handing them back. He’s losing some thief cred over this for sure...

Aside from that, they have almost never-ending energy too so even the sleepiest MC is going to be bouncing off walls… Good luck to everyone else.

Bonus:

Mammon is now literally in the body of his favorite person and has zero clue how to feel about it. If he hugs himself is that like getting a hug from the MC…? 🤔 One thing is for certain though, he’s going to be glued to their hip the entire time. I hope they’re used to seeing themselves (literally).

Levi

aaaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaAAAAAaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhHHHHHHhhhh STOP THE RIDE!! I want OUT of this nightmare!!!

They find out very quickly why Levi distracts himself so much: they feel inadequate All. The. Time.

If they can doubt themselves in any capacity, they will. If they walk into a room, they’ll instantly feel the (non-existent) judgement. If something makes them feel even slightly bad then it can snowball out of control. It’s… It's hell, it’s actual hell.

Chances are they’re going to end up a blubbering mess about as often as Levi if they don’t find a way to distract themselves too… 😔

Bonus:

Poor Levi is trying his best to help them manage being him but it’s not like he was super good at it either… 😥 At least in their body he feels more confident than ever so if nothing else he can step up and comfort them like they would him. Talk about role reversal… 🤷‍♀️

Satan

I can’t stop grinding my teeth and wOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP OVER THERE OR I SWEAR THAT I’LL-!!!

Their emotions are chaotic and they have no idea how to control them. At best, they’ll feel a steady level of irritation and at worst it'll snap into full blown rage. It’s like being a toddler all over again!

They’re going to end up counting to 10, 200 times over… and that might not even help.

On the plus side, though, they’ve never felt smarter! If there’s any time to sit in a wingback chair and ponder the meaning of life, it’s now so take advantage of it!

Bonus:

… Is this what normal is? Is this what CALM is?? A guy slammed into Satan on the street the other day and he didn’t feel the sudden urge to commit homicide… This is great!! Excuse him, MC, as he hijacks your body to go zen out around the House… 😌 Human Satan’s chill meters give Belphie a run for his money, who knew?

Asmo

*they’ve been staring at themselves in the mirror quietly for the last twenty minutes… and they feel the odd urge to moisturize…*

Being Asmo is actually a little freaky for the uninitiated. Suddenly SO MUCH attention is on them! They can’t walk into any room without being noticed, most of the time by total strangers. 🤷‍♀️

They also notice that people are waaaay more friendly to them now, though whether it's they're gorgeous or the accidentally charming them is anyone's guess…

It seems a lot of Asmo's beauty routine has also been absorbed into his very being because they may start autopiloting toward his bathroom if they don't catch themselves first...

Bonus:

Their body has never looked better than the day Asmo got into it. However they take that information is on them.

Beel

*too busy chewing silverware to say anything*

If Levi is emotional hell then Beel is physical. Being constantly on the brink of starvation is a real chore… 😩

Though at least they get to walk around in what amounts to a tank. They can look Lucifer in the eye and even feel like they can literally uproot trees! (which they may actually do if they got some fruit out of it...)

They also learn pretty quick that Beel can digest right about anything so the brothers try really hard to keep them fed. Otherwise, there'll be bitemarks in the drywall… (they don't even have Beel's marginal self-control so they're screwed! 😓)

Bonus:

Poor baby is doing whatever he can to keep then fed because he gets it. He doesn't envy being in his shoes, though he does feel a little guilty for enjoying being full for change… 😔

Belphie

So tired… Body heavy… Whhhy….

Belphie's body apparently runs with exactly ¼ the energy needed to get through a 12 hour day by default.

It WILL make them go to sleep. Even if they think they're fine one minute, they might blink and be passed out for an hour.

It's also somehow immune to all forms of caffeine and probably even cocaine. 🤷‍♀️ Someone else is going to have to fix this, because the MC can't be bothered… Please just let them sleep…

Bonus:

Belphie's boooored... Days feel twice as long now and he can't get this human body to take naps right! Lucifer is going to have to fix things soon because an idle Belphie is far worse than a crafty Satan... 😣

Check out my Masterlist for more!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios

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darkdevasofdestruction · 4 years ago

Note

Can you make headcanon with Demons Brothers ( Obey me ) who finds out about reader was abused ? Sorry for my english, it's not my first languague.

Well, I don’t know what’s like to be physically abused by your family, but I’ve been through my fair share of abuse in a relationship, so I can understand where you come from here.

For anyone who sees this post and needs comfort after any kind of dark thing that happened to you, including abuse of any kind - Yes, even the types that happen in relationships - You get what I mean - I will write for that.

I had BNHA blogs who wrote comfort pieces for me and it helped to make me feel better, and if I can help anyone feel better with themselves after this like that, then I’m happy x

Also, I don’t write for so many characters in one post anymore, it’s honestly draining and I can’t bring myself to write like that anymore, so I will just write for Lucifer, Mammon and Satan x

- - - - -

Lucifer

Out of everyone, Lucifer is the only one who can keep his composure, albeit barely so.

He is a demon, he knows all humans sin, but unlike demons, humans are supposed to be both good and evil, so what the hell possessed those idiots to behave so terribly with a pure angel such as yourself?

He just couldn’t comprehend why the hell humans are capable of such atrocities, when not even demons behave this way.

Ahh, the anger he’s feeling, not even Satan, in his worst phase, could understand - It was a monumental, infinite, incomprehensible kind of rage that burnt his heart so badly.

Despite everything he was feeling as you told him everything that happened, he merely bit his lip to contain himself, and hugged you tightly, letting you cry in his arms, as he stroked your hair, knowing that it can calm down a human - Or at least some sort of sense of protection and warmth.

He would tell you how you were so incredibly brave for managing to tell someone about the horrible, while also, you are so strong for being able to live with this for so long, and bear with the consequences of abuse.

But you managed to break through, somehow, and you were amazing - In his eyes, you were the strongest human alive.

Lucifer knows how horrible emotional pain is, and he would much rather feel physical one, than the other type, because he knows he won’t break that way.

But seeing you so fragile, small and broken in his arms ultimately shattered his heart, and he swore to get revenge in the worst way possible on your abusers.

He knows revenge solves nothing, but at least he’ll get some satisfaction, and somehow, knowing that the people who did bad things to you are there no more, may make you feel just a bit safer.

Despite being one of the most sensible brothers, he will still search to do more and more human psychology research, and with your help and insight, will try to help you recover, even a tiny bit, and will be there every step of the way as you are healing, never letting go of your hand.

- - -

Mammon

Okay, lemme tell you straight -

While Mammon is the most in-touch with his emotional side, he will suffer the most hearing that you, his most beloved person alive, had to go through such terrible things in your life.

You were just a small, frail human, you barely lived, compared to him, so why did you have to go through such trauma?!

He would outright cry, like anime waterfalls, and would cling on you, rocking with you back and forth, but he wasn’t sure if he was trying to comfort you, or himself, at that point, since he was hurting so much.

His brain would stop for a little while, and he would remember all the shit he got from Maddi, and sometimes, even the bad things that he accepts from his brothers, as a way to keep them happy, but ultimately, he would manage to get to the point where he tries to find ways to ease your soul of your burdens and traumas.

He will be even clingier than before, will spoil you even more, will make sure NOBODY yells around you, does moves too abruptly to scare you off, and basically, will thread carefully every step of the way to prevent anything from being a potential trigger.

Will literally kill Asmo if he tries to hug you without consent, or if he tries to flirt or make advances towards you, and while he won’t say why, he’ll just throw Asmo away and drag you away, to a safer place - Unless you reassure him that his younger brother isn’t a trigger or a threat in your eyes.

Poor Mammon will be a bit paranoid and will go overboard with a lot of things, threating you like a frail snowdrop, and it isn’t until you tell him that you won’t break from little things like this, that he can afford to take it a bit easier than before.

But don’t forget that he will even yell and fight Lucifer if he dares get mad at you for whatever reason, or use his demon form or powers around you.

And the same goes for the Avatar of Wrath, or Gluttony, when he’s dangerously hungry.

Also, he will kill Belphie if he attempts to kill you.

- - -

Satan

Satan.exe stopped working.

I mean, how is he supposed to react anyway?

His most precious person tells him that they have been mistreat, and he’s supposed to stay...Calm?

That’s impossible.

He will literally get up and leave without a word, will leash out his rage in a place where you couldn’t possible go, and when he’s finally done, will return to you as if nothing happened, albeit, with the necessary apologies for leaving like that, and returning with a lot of sweets, comfort food, flowers and anything that he knows you love and would bring a smile on your face.

Despite how much he reads, he only knows things in theory, and needs your guidance to apply things practically because, as he knows very well, every person is different, and different things work for different people.

With you, and around you, he will be the calmest specimen possible known to this realm, and the others, because he knows his rage could be a horrible trigger for you, and the last thing he wants is for you to be afraid of him, or, Heaven forbid, cry because of his mistakes.

Satan will make sure to check on you at all times, either f2f or via texts, and when you’re going out somewhere, or just chilling together, he will hold your wrist.

He will say he thinks you have very cute and delicate hands, but really, he subtly checks for your pulse to see if you have any anxiety spikes or anything that would be proof that something is bothering you in any way, shape or form.

As everyone knows, Satan is very attentive about literally everything, and incredibly detail-oriented, so he will over-analyse anything and come up with his own conclusions, and once he’s used to understanding your behaviour, he will automatically go and solve anything in your place, and it will shock you, ‘cause he’s so on point?? How did he even guess??

He won’t treat you any differently, considering that he’s always been sweet and polite with you, but will definitely criticise his brothers or other strangers if they behave in a way that may be triggering...Or hell, maybe annoying, ‘cause it gives him a motive to get away from nuisances who won’t stop talking.

Apart from his inferiority complex, he never received any kind of abuse, so he isn’t familiar with the feeling, nor can he claim to fully comprehend or sympathise with what you’re going through, however, he understands logically, and knowing how much it hurts you even know, and how it still affects you long-term, he is aware that he is unable to let you brave this storm alone.

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hamliet · 4 years ago

Text

What Does It Mean to Save?

I keep seeing it said that Deku, Ochaco, and Shouto will “save” Shigaraki, Himiko, and Dabi, but that there will be no redemption and/or no survival for them. I’m truly not trying to vague these posts and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but literary criticism is fundamentally responsive so I’m writing this anyways.

I personally think that’s not BNHA’s definition of saving nor of redemption. So here, have a deep dive into literary tropes related to redemption, genre, and character arcs as they pertain to BNHA and the question of: what does it mean to save Shigaraki, Touya, and Himiko?

Before we begin, let me say that while we might be personally uncomfortable with redemption (there’s a redemption arc in BNHA I am personally quite uncomfortable with), that doesn’t inherently mean the narrative won’t go there. The key principle I’m operating on here is BNHA’s message that heroes save people. It’s held up as the highest ideal.

So let’s talk redemption in BNHA-verse. With this guy, whose redemption arc I dislike in principle but accept as part of the story so don’t come for me stans and/or antis. I’m analyzing because it shows us what redemption means in BNHA-verse, whether or not that is satisfying to you personally as it fits/does not fit with your own morality/philosophy.

If Endeavor can be redeemed and live, and he’s Bakugou’s negative foil, I highly doubt Shigaraki and Deku as well as Touya and Shouto and Ochaco and Himiko will be any different. Why? Because Enji is an adult character. The others--well, Himiko’s age we don’t know, but we do know that Shigaraki and Dabi are technically adults. But does the story consider them adults?

(It doesn’t.)

Child-coded characters are generally more likely to survive a redemption, which I’ll explain more later. First I have to define what I mean by child-coding, because I DO NOT mean this in the way it’s often (mis)used in fandom wank. Child-coding is a real thing, but it is not done to infantilize and it has nothing to do with shipping.

Child coding frames the character as a child for a few narrative purposes to convey a story’s theme or purpose. For example, if it’s a coming of age story coding a character as a child even if they legally are not emphasizes their journey to an understanding of self-actualization, or a true understanding of self with self-awareness and an understanding of self-value. An example of an adult coded as a child is The Kite Runner, wherein Amir is a legal adult for half the story, even married for fifteen years so we’re talking 30s-40s, but he does not truly become an adult until he returns to his homeland and takes responsibility for a childhood sin. In Attack on Titan, the main characters are now nineteen, but are still struggling to take responsibility as adults and have only started doing so now that their mentors/parental figures have started dying.

Along those lines, in any kind of story, you can code a character as a child of someone, regardless of biological relationship, to convey the type of relationship they have (usually a mentor one). For an example of this, see Bungo Stray Dogs’ Dazai and Akutagawa. Despite their two year age difference, Dazai recruited him to the mafia, abandoned him, and Akutagawa desperately seeks his approval. Usually in these stories a character will “overcome” their parental figure. This can be done through overcoming their need for the parental figure’s approval in stories where the parental figure is kindly (such as in Harry Potter, when in the final book Harry, Ron, and Hermione leave the Weasleys to find the Horcruxes despite Mrs. Weasley’s please) or through like, killing/stopping/leaving the parental figure when they are abusive (see fairy tales like Rapunzel and Cinderella). The parental link to self-actualization is because it is childlike (and a part of actual psychology that is reflected in literature) to see yourself as a part of your parent; self-actualized person would see yourself as a distinct person from your parent, but also acknowledge the ways in which they’ve shaped you.

So, how do you code a character as a child? BNHA isn’t subtle about it, because Horikoshi seldom is subtle about anything. The villain trio are all coded as children.

Shigaraki Tomura:

Who cannot achieve self-actualization so long as AFO has access to his body, as he’s literally trying to possess him. He’s trying, but it’s not gonna work because Shigaraki can’t keep AFO and become an adult at the same time. It’s a choice the narrative is setting up: your dream of destroying, or your freedom? (To get the latter, he’ll probably have to destroy AFO).

Todoroki Touya, who is repeatedly emphasized as a small child when compared to his siblings, and yes, I know he’s now tall. Specifically he’s spotlighted as the child of Endeavor:

And he’s the least self-actualized one in a lot of ways, contradicting himself constantly. I’m not Endeavor, DUH! But these are Endeavor’s flames! He’s gonna have to choose one or the other, because the tragic irony is that the more he takes out his rage on those around him, the more like Endeavor he becomes.

And Toga Himiko (who might well literally be a legal child), who is actually the most self-actualized one thus far, because she rejects Curious’s child insistence (Curious holds her in a Pieta pose, based on Michelangelo’s statue wherein Mary holds a deceased Christ):

She’s still got, like, a way to go though:

Because Himiko also wants to be like the people she loves to the point where she loses her own identity in them, which is er, not self-actualization. So she’ll have to choose whether or not she really wants to be like the people she loves or whether she wants to live her own way, which she herself tells us how that would end (death):

Deku said it himself: it’s good to focus on what someone is doing now. And look, I have issues with this statement and how it’s framed. I’ve talked about it at length and it was doomed to fail because Shouto himself told us long ago that it was annoying to hear a righteous speech by a stranger when you hadn’t gone through the same, plus Endeavor kinda failed by choosing being a hero over a dad here. But, the principle is that if the past doesn’t preclude Endeavor from seeking a better self, why would it preclude three characters coded as children, one of whom is literally somewhat the product of Endeavor’s sins? BNHA doesn’t think the past keeps someone from a better future.

So what about Dabi’s counterpoint, which is indeed valid? Well, redemption doesn’t mean the past forgets, either. It’s complicated and nuanced, and we can debate how well Horikoshi strikes this nuance (it’s got its flaws), and admittedly I don’t know how this will go down in the future. But it is asking Endeavor: how do you redeem yourself to the people you’ve hurt? And we have Endeavor asking this question to Touya’s shrine. I mean, the foreshadowing is obvious. Endeavor has to redeem himself by trying to save Touya. However, it will still probably come down to Shouto to save Touya.

For our three villains, it’s a little harder to predict... well, sort of. For Shigaraki it’s extremely obvious: he has to help take down AFO. Dabi probably has to do something to help his family (siblings probably), but it’s vague. Toga needs help and not condemnation, but presumably she’ll help Ochaco with something.

So, is this redemption? I’d define it as redemption in the eyes of the narrative. To address what makes a redemption is another essay unto itself, but if we bring in the oft-compared Star Wars example: did Darth Vader get a redemption? Did Ben Solo? Everyone says yes to both. However, only Luke witnesses Vader’s redemption, and only Rey Ben Solo’s. So the rest of the galaxy? Doesn’t think so. When I say they’ll be redeemed, I’m defining it as their role in the eyes of the narrative, not whether or not society will accept them or even whether their victims will forgive them (of note, in canonical novels, Leia never forgave Darth Vader despite learning he was her father and obviously knowing Luke’s account of his redemption was true).

So, redemption in a narrative doesn’t mean all of society has to forgive and accept them. Dabi has still like, murdered 30 people--many of whom were thugs, but he himself acknowledges they didn’t deserve to die. Additionally, he himself also acknowledges that the families left behind--their feelings matter:

But why does that mean they have to die? Why even does it mean they have to languish in prison forever? (If there’s even a safe prison at the end of BNHA which I kinda have doubts about.) Heroes have also killed: see Hawks as Exhibit A. In fact, some people want revenge on the heroes precisely because they arrested or killed their loved ones (jail isn’t held up as a rehabilitative place in BNHA’s world. In most countries it isn’t in real life, either, but again that’s for another essay). So why don’t the League’s feelings on Twice’s death matter just as much as the feelings of unnamed and unseen (and thereby less important narratively) characters?

Additionally, regarding death... the villains routinely get called on their death wishes. Himiko’s determination to decide how/when she dies is called out because this is right before Twice overcomes his trauma to save her, and the next arc they appear in is when Twice dies trying to save her again. Dabi’s suicide wish keeps him from getting close to others, and it keeps getting thwarted. Shigaraki’s obsession with destruction and death is clearly not a good thing, and his rejection of his family’s desire for them to join him in death this past arc is growth.

In other words: what Dabi said and what Snatch said about families and how they feel matter for the villains too. The villains are their own weird found family (Dabi as the deadbeat prodigal brother of both his families). Their deaths--Magne’s and Twice’s thus far, and I’m not ruling out further deaths in the future--affect the others. People’s feelings on losing loved ones matter. The villains are people, as Himiko said herself this arc:

Their feelings about each other matter:

How would Touya dying affect the Todorokis? At least they saved him spiritually, I guess, but that’s absolutely lame narratively, and if you have Enji eventually do a sacrifice to save Dabi (pretty likely, even if I personally think Enji will survive said sacrifice) then what’s the point of Dabi dying? How would Himiko dying affect society? As a martyr like Curious wanted her to be, even a redeemed one? A tragic warning story? What even is the point of Ochaco saving her if that’s the case? If Shigaraki dies, well, who would mourn besides Deku? How would Shigaraki dying affect the surviving members of the league? He just couldn’t be saved physically?

It’s not impossible some of this happens, but it doesn’t seem like great writing, especially with panels like, oh, these that show us BNHA’s perspective on death:

Sacrificing something is a type of death that occurs in stories; this should happen in a redemption arc, which is why I’ve been saying Enji needs to sacrifice his hero reputation to help save Touya and even then it’ll still be Shouto imo who does the saving. But physical death?

If you want further analysis of the latter two panels and how they relate to the ending, see here.

We already have another villain who will definitely die redemptively (Kurogiri--an adult coded character--because he’s already, like, dead), and Spinner and Mr. Compress aren’t coded as kids so I hold them with anxiety towards the end. But again, this isn’t me being ageist or saying this is the way things ought to be in fiction or real life: it’s me looking at writing tropes and saying that child-coded characters tend to survive their redemptions. See: Zuko. Why? Because the death of children or child-coded characters is a tragedy. When a child-coded character dies redemptively it doesn’t feel like a happy ending and if framed as such, it’s often criticized for bad writing (see: Ben Solo). Curious even called this out in her fight with Himiko. I would hope Horikoshi doesn’t end the story being like yeah Curious was right that’s the best use of Himiko’s/Dabi’s/Shigaraki’s arcs:

Additionally, as for the believability of a character getting a new chance after so much destruction and murder... well, it’s kinda a thing in shonen and even in seinen? For better or for worse, it’s a thing. We have Vegeta in Dragon Ball Z and Kaneki Ken in Tokyo Ghoul (Kaneki, by the way, is absolutely an inspiration for Shigaraki). We can debate how well-written these redemptions are (I personally have been quite critical of Kaneki’s despite wanting it to happen narratively), but it can be done. BNHA’s Japan especially isn’t as harsh a world as Tokyo Ghoul’s Japan, so it would make even more sense for something like Kaneki’s ending.

The reality is that the cycle of revenge via hurting people and then leaving hurting families and loved ones has to stop somewhere. Someone has to be the bigger person and step up and be like “naw.” That’s heroic. That’s brave. That’s sacrificial itself. Justice itself doesn’t really exist in its purest form without mercy.

There’s another genre-reason I don’t see death or jail as likely (I could see, like, maybe a mental health ward like Rei’s? But it’s too soon to speculate).

If saving is considered a good thing for the story, if it’s truly the highest ideal, then saving someone should be rewarded by the narrative. The characters who save should have a positive result to show us this a good thing.

This is why it doesn’t work for the heroes’ end journey to be accepting that some people cannot be saved. The notion of just accepting that you cannot do something, you cannot save everyone, you cannot, cannot, cannot, is called out as a flaw of society. Determination, on the other hand, is rewarded.

We see it with Deku as well as with Mirio.

So, what if they save them and the redeemed characters then go on to sacrifice themselves in their redemption and die (come to the same end)? If saving changes absolutely nothing for the saved person, if it’s too late for the saved from themselves to change and/or do anything that matters besides die, then the narrative theme of saving as important is left unemphasized at best and undermined at worst. Simple intrinsic knowledge that the kids “did the right thing” doesn’t cut it for a story with so much focus on physical saving when the kids are already doing the right thing; moral struggles about whether to choose to be good aren’t really Deku, Ochaco, or Shouto’s arcs. It works for Aizawa’s arc with Kurogiri, but not for the kiddos. If BNHA was more of a philosophical/spiritual text, that would indeed make sense, but it is not. Genre-wise, BNHA is a fantastical superhero optimistic story, not a gritty real-world set drama.

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toujourspur13 · 4 years ago

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The Black family / Walburga Black / canon.

As I said before I do not care that much about canon/fanon/headcanon because transformative works by definition include a wide variety of different interpretations. However, I am forever perplexed when I see uncompromising opinions on the Black family - particularly the unwavering certainty that Sirius Black’s parents were psychotic abusers. All personal opinions aside - why is this so popular?

I mean - it’s absolutely ok to headcanon this version and to play with it - but saying 'don’t you dare say they did not physically and emotionally abuse Sirius' is a little strong, isn’t it?

This is a mystery to me. So…let’s discuss my favourite subject…Again.

Let’s stick to the facts. The frequently cited things proving the abuse in the Black family are as follows:

Sirius said his parents were awful maniacs (pureblood ideology)

he ran away from home

he was severely depressed in OoTP

Kreacher

Portrait

So…when you say that Sirius’s parents were abusive…you mean exactly what? These people got cold feet when they saw the real nature of Voldemort - I guess it somehow implies that they did not share his methods…that they were against violence as a tool to get purebloods in charge.

But then it usually goes this way: ‘well at least he was verbally and emotionally abused by his family’ - but is it so? Is this based on the portrait of Sirius's mother? She insulted strangers who took over her house and her runaway son - how does this prove anything about how Sirius and Regulus were raised and treated when they were kids? I agree it’s rather impolite - jkr did a good job showing how purebloods perceived others ( those below them) -but in all honesty, this has very little to do with Sirius and his childhood.

Why to make Sirius a victim at all? - c’mon he was tougher than this, he spent 12 years in Azkaban; are you actually saying that a portrait throwing insults at everyone is worse? I doubt that. And is it such a surprise that a mother who lost her son (that said son actually ran away and abandoned his duty) would be that furious at him when seeing him again...even if it’s only a portrait...I believe it to be a rather unpleasant experience for a parent when a child runs away.

We already talked about the portrait a lot - I don’t even want to mention it here- - I feel we should rather pay more attention to the fact that Sirius himself was not an angel.

I am not saying the colourful vocabulary of Walburga Black should be used…but Sirius himself upon seeing Snape immediately recognised his weakness and went for it without any hesitation …we are talking about Sirius who in fact was quite a renowned bully ( I mean - we know for a fact that from time to time Sirius and James got carried away)…

And it was Sirius who sent Snape to meet and chat with a real werewolf (yes, I agree - he was not thinking this through - he probably was just vexed and fed up with Snape and thought he wouldn’t go there, would get cold feet or idk run away…But it actually changes nothing. If a drunken driver hits someone it will be 100% his fault whether he means it or not. Whether he is in a fragile mental state or not - such situations are definite. It’s the same with Sirius - even if he did not mean anything bad he should have understood the cost of his mistake - all teenagers make silly things but not all of them send their classmate to meet a werewolf - James thought it not a very good idea as I recall… -

So we see that Sirius was not an angel from the start and I can hardly believe he was a victim by nature. His behaviour loudly manifested that he used to get what he wanted with no thought of the consequences.

And all those pictures of bikini-clad girls on the walls in his room prove that he was quite a spoiled boy who had nothing to fear from mum and dad. Harry himself noticed «Sirius seemed to have gone out of his way to annoy his parents». All this shows that Sirius was not afraid of his parents at all. What kind of masochist would suffer for motorbike posters? That would be ridiculous.

Let’s move to Kreacher: If Sirius’s mother had been a monster why even mention her heart? JKR wrote this for a purpose and this heavily implies that Sirius's situation was never meant to be ‘the abusive heartless parents vs the poor helpless victim’.

The fact that Sirius ran away and hence broke his mother’s heart says against the popular idea that he was not loved by his family, that he was always the second one, that they abused him. I’m 100% certain that Kreacher told the truth in that scene. Why would he say something like this if it were not the truth - something like…that his beloved mistress having been so upset over Sirius running away that it broke her heart. Just tell me one reason that would have justified such a lie - why to say this at all?

Then this: “Leave?” Sirius smiled bitterly and ran a hand through his long, unkempt hair. “Because I hated the whole lot of them: my parents, with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royal … my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them … that’s him.”…. “He was younger than me,” said Sirius, “and a much better son, as I was constantly reminded.”

I’ve already said it before - this ‘better son than me’ is exactly what insecure 14-year old kids like to say. Well...he’s a bit older but it’s not as if he had a life and a chance to mature. Moreover, I don’t know if it comes as a great shock but a lot of teenagers like to badmouth their parents…usually, it involves something like ‘those bloody uptight retrogrades know nothing of the real world’ (it fades away when they get closer to thirty).

To be serious, I find that it’s just another example of similarities between Sirius and his mother. They clearly did not know what it means to be composed, polite, and respectful. Yeah…I think that, on the whole, parents are owed their children’s respect (unless they are completely inadequate - somehow I don’t believe this was the case). Someone should teach both of them what mutual respect means. Anyway, there is nothing in this quote that says that Sirius was subjected to any forms of abuse - it’s about how Sirius justified his running away, how he saw the situation.

There’s also the fact that Sirius was incredibly unhappy because he was back at his childhood home and having to spend time around anything that reminded him of his family: “Hasn’t anyone told you? This was my parents’ house,” said Sirius. “But I’m the last Black left, so it’s mine now. I offered it to Dumbledore for headquarters — about the only useful thing I’ve been able to do.” Harry, who had expected a better welcome, noted how hard and bitter Sirius’s voice sounded”.

Here it comes…the severe depression that makes people question the severity of his abuse… I have thought a lot about this because it is the reason why some consider ‘the abusive blacks' canon while others believe it was more of a tragedy of the family rather than the banal brutality.

Of course, Sirius was upset in that house - but I don’t think he suffered the memories of his unhappy childhood - I think he suffered from the strong feeling of guilt. Being in that house meant an everyday reminder that he was a failure. And it’s not even a lie. If you look at his whole life you’ll see that he literally failed everyone in his life: he failed James and Lily - they were dead and he unwillingly became the reason. It was his plan that turned everything into a tragedy.

And, to some extent, he failed Harry- he was not around him like James and Lily would have wanted. Sirius did not give him the real family - he only promised they'd be the one «when it’s all over».

And finally - he failed his parents, his brother, his own family.

Is it possible to live with so much guilt in your heart?

I don't think that Sirius completely forgot who he was born to be. If the family keeps traditions and can trace its existence back in centuries you can't shake it off even if you want. I doubt Sirius switched it off just because he had griffindor friends. He was the last Black - it is tragically poetic that he was once the hope of his family and then this family died with him. If Sirius had heart (and I truly believe he had a heart) he knew exactly what it meant to be trapped in the house that represented the death of his family. A constant reminder that he was the last one.

“The others’ hushed voices were giving Harry an odd feeling of foreboding; it was as though they had just entered the house of a dying person”.

I think that the scene when he threw his father's ring away - he threw it away because it was all over for his family. It was the end of the dynasty - and for him it was all over long before he met Bellatrix for the last time.

Well, I admit Sirius' situation is open for wide interpretation but I don’t think the abusive black household is a canon thing - of course, it’s fanon. It makes Sirius a hero who broke the chains when in fact he ended up being a victim of his own life.

You know, it always seems strange to me that fandom when discussing Walburga usually overlooks the simple truth of life - that even if you are clever enough and mean good for your loved ones it is still possible to end up on the losing side, on the dark side. However, mistakes don't automatically turn humans into monsters.

To some extent Sirius’s story represents the consequences of war. No-one is protected; the whole families could be wiped off the face of the earth. It’s a simple yet profound idea. It correlates with the main idea of hp books far better than the ‘abusive psychopaths’ (there are already Voldemort and Bellatrix - there is no-one who can beat them in this department).

All I say - it’s okay to imagine them bad if you want- your right - but don’t write everywhere that it’s canon because it is not.There is no need for such inflexibility especially when it comes to the fandom - a place where everyone should be welcomed and their views on the books be respected.

#the noble and most ancient house of black #hp meta #harry potter #sirius black meta #walburga black #orion black #regulus black #harry potter meta #Order of the Phoenix #Sirius Black

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mrslittletall · 4 years ago

Note

saw your whump post, honestly the "I'm fine" screams Hornet to me, so it'd be cool to see that! - dooblebugs

Title: The Idol Fandom: Hollow Knight Characters: Hornet & Little Ghost Word Count: 2.825 AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30941981

Summary: After the Hollow Knight is freed from the temple, Hornet does her best to take care of the ones that are still left in Hallownest. Everything should be fine... until it isn't.

(Author's note: @dooblebugs

I thought about using canon verse with “Almost everyone lives AU” or your Mer AU. But ultimately, canon verse won, because I still miss some context for the Mer AU. I hope you enjoy.)

Hornet opened her eyes and jumped on her feet right away. Her day would always start with hunting and gathering food, preferably before Hollow woke up and tried to move, and it was a whole other problem trying to haul a bug their size back into bed, especially when they rigorously ignored their wounds.

While Hornet trusted Quirrel and Cloth enough to leave Hollow in their care for a while, she always felt better if she could look over them personally. However, the longer she hesitated with leaving, the longer she would need to come back, so Hornet left the house in Dirtmouth they had inhabited for Hollow's recovery and went towards the crossroads.

The little pitter-patter of tiny feet next to her prompted Hornet to look down. Ghost had decided to accompany her again. They always would. She could tell them a hundred times to stay behind, they would never listen. For a vessel meant to be void of mind, Ghost was one of the bugs with the strongest will that Hornet ever had seen.

“You will still come with me, even if I say no, right, little Ghost?”, Hornet said, shouldering her needle. Ghost didn't nod or sign at her, they simply stared, with their unblinking, never changing expression. It was enough for Hornet to know that they wouldn't leave.

“Alright, but don't get into my way.”, Hornet said. At this, Ghost swung their nail and jumped in front of Hornet in a pose that depicted a challenge, then their nail went down on the ground in a strike, the swing of it breaking through the calmness of the morning.

“I know! I know! You've beaten me twice, but... I have gone easy on you.”, Hornet half hissed. It was a blatant lie and she knew it. The first time she had simply underestimated them (or she simply had become tired of fighting) and the second time... she had given it her all and they still had remained victorious. In a sense, Ghost was the new king of Hallownest, but they didn't seem to put any mind on the title. They didn't even seem to be wanting to be celebrated for being the saviour of Hallownest. They simply joined Hornet every morning for hunting and went off on their own afterwards, always coming back to play with their friends in Dirtmouth.

As the both of them jumped down the well, Hornet couldn't help but think about that there wasn't much to rule anymore. This kingdom was in shambles. It had been two weeks and the dried off infection still crusted the crossroads, too little bugs alive to care much about cleaning the place up. It was becoming more and more difficult to get food, because so many of the infected had simply been reanimated husks, without any meat left in them.

They surely would have to wander to Greenpath again, hopefully finding a few vengeflies and mosscreeps to bring home.

Hornet was used being alone. She had been alone for a very long time. She had managed. She never was lonely... well, maybe a little lonely and now there was a bunch of strangers up in Dirtmouth who relied on her. Hornet never wanted for anyone to rely on her. She had seen what happened when bugs relied on someone and... there wasn't a solution.

She looked down on Ghost again, they had their nail on the ready and stared vigilantly in front of them. They must have crossed this crossroads a dozen times on their journey, still expecting to be attacked by the infected every given minute. Hornet could understand that it was hard for them to let go of old habits.

She was the same. She never let go of her needle as well. Even with the infection never being able to come back, she had to remain vigilant. She would protect her siblings, no matter what. She wouldn't, no she couldn't, let anyone down.

“We are nearing Greenpath.”, she said, only to cut through the silence between them. She knew it wasn't Ghost's fault that they didn't have a voice, but after years of not being able to talk to anyone, Hornet barely could stand the silence, when there was someone she could talk to. “Remember, when we hunt the mosscreeps, take their leaves as well, for the herbivores.”

While Hornet was able to eat plant matter as well, it never had been satisfying to her. She was the daughter of a spider and a wyrm, both predators, and therefore she usually would hunt for food. She was unsure about what kind of diet Ghost and Hollow needed, but they seemed to be content with the prey she brought back, so she wouldn't change anything about it.

“And remember, we can't hunt too much. The population needs a chance to recover.”, she said as well. The infection had done a number on the whole of Hallownest... it wasn't a surprise that there was such a food shortage. In fact, Hornet had cut her own food intake in favour of her siblings and anyone who couldn't hunt or still needed to recover. That bug, Tiso, came to mind. Had a far too big stomach for having been utterly destroyed by the colloseum of fools. Why Ghost had dragged him back to Dirthmouth, she would never understand.

Ghost showed that they understood with a little nod of their head and the both of them entered Greenpath. It was a MUCH nicer place without the infection, but they still had to pay attention, the fool eater plants were easy to overlook (not that Hornet had ever overlooked them, but Ghost tended to forget...) and there were some predators still around, though they were no match for her needle. The problem was to avoid them to not hunt too much. Like she had said to Ghost, they needed to give the population time to recover, if they wouldn't want all to starve beforehand.

“We get only enough for everyone back in Dirtmouth.”, Hornet said again. “Then we leave again. Let's search for some mosscreeps first.”

The both of them jumped and slashed their way through the vegetation of Greenpath. While Hornet preferred to use her needle, Ghost had found a lot of new ways to move around since the first time they fought and they dashed (literally leaving their shell behind and somehow phasing through time and space) and jumped with wings that reminded Hornet of her father... and she got a bad feeling in her guts every time she saw them.

After a bit of time, they had managed to hunt two vengeflies to bring back, Hornet keeping them cocooned up for transportation and were now searching through the vegetation for some mosscreeps. Finally, Hornet found one and struck it down with her needle, preparing a cocoon for it again, when Ghost picked something up from the grass.

“Ghost, what do you have there?”, Hornet asked. The item was too small to be prey and they tended to hoard stuff they found. It probably was just something that was completely worthless nowadays, only generating Geo when given to this historian in the City of Tears. She still wanted to know.

Ghost came over and laid the thing they had picked up in her outstretched hand. When she looked down on it, she froze.

It was a King's Idol, the item that the citizens of Hallownest had crafted to worship her reclusive father. Each of them looked different, but they all shared the general shape and depicted his most salient feature: The horns that resembled a crown.

Staring down at it, something in Hornet broke. It might have been the stress she felt since Ghost had arrived. Or the fact that Hollow recovered from years of abuse from both the gods of Hallownest. Or that she was running on an empty stomach most of the time. But once she saw that thing, all her frustration crashed down on her at once.

You!”, she hissed. “It was all your fault! You knew that the plan wouldn't work! You knew that they would suffer and you still have let it happen! The teacher, the watcher, my mother, all sacrificed for nothing! And then, in the moment you were needed the most, you vanished, you damn coward! We needed you! I needed you! I hate you. I hate you and I can't even say it to your face anymore!”

Hornet threw the king's idol on the ground with so much force that it skipped on the ground and then fell on her knees, slowly getting aware of the tears on her face and the presence of little ice cold hands patting her arm.

“I am fine.”, she said, wiping the tears away. Just a moment of weakness, nothing else. Even though she could feel the judgemental stare of Ghost, she was fine. She had to be. “Seriously, I am fine.”, she continued once more. “Let's continue hunting.”

As Hornet was putting her composure back together, she didn't notice how Ghost continued to stare at her, picking up the idol from the ground, and only starting to move again once she called out for them.

The hunt had been more or less successful. At least they had found enough prey that nobody should go terribly hungry (at least when Hornet halved her own portion again). As usual, hunting had taken the better part of the day. Hornet would have liked to go hunt at some different locations, but the Old Stag from the stag ways wasn't around lately, apparently he was taking care of some personal business. With him not being around, it was just too far to walk to the Fungal Wastes or Deepnest, at least not when she wanted to come back the same day.

Currently Hornet took in her meal in Hollow's room with Ghost present as well. She was busy thinking about if there was another route that would make sure she could hunt elsewhere but Greenpath for once, when she felt a nudge. When she looked down, she saw how Ghost offered them a half of their mosscreep, holding the prey up in their little hands, seemingly eagerly awaiting for her to take it.

“I can't take this, Ghost.”, Hornet said. “You need all the food you can get, you are still growing.”

Ghost cocked their head and for once their eternal deadpan expression was on point. Hornet knew how ridiculous her argument was. Ghost had been born before her. They hadn't grown in years. Their body had been unable to grow because they didn't had access to void. “You know what I mean.”, she defended herself. There was the possibility that Ghost would start to grow as long as they stayed in Hallownest.

Ghost offered their meal a little while longer and then gave up with a little frustrated stomp of their foot. It was then when Hornet felt another nudge... this time it was Hollow, who had simply watched the scene unfold in front of them, offering their part of their meal.

“Oh no, not you too, Hollow.”, Hornet sighed. “You need the food much more than me, you are still recovering. I won't accept anything from you.”

The both vessels shared a look and once again Hornet asked herself if they could talk to each with some kind of void telepathy, before both of them looked at the ground in defeat.

“I am fine.”, Hornet repeated herself, she knew that. “Really, I am fine...”

Hornet awoke the next morning... not because her stomach cramped and she had trouble sleeping because of it, but because someone nudged her. She cracked one eye open and murmured: “It's barely morning...” She just craved to go back to sleep, to forget about the day in front of her for a few minutes longer, but the nudging got more and more intense, until she shouted: “Fine! I am getting up! Stop bothering me!”

It was Ghost in front of her and immediately Hornet stopped being annoyed. What if something had happened? “Is something the matter with Hollow? Or is a threat approaching the village?”, she asked, already fumbling for her needle, once again forgetting that Ghost was more than capable of defending the village themselves. They just looked too much like a little, defenseless child, even though Hornet had experienced otherwise.

Gladly, Ghost shook their head, though this put Hornet right back into annoyance. “Then why have you woken me up?”, she said, falling back down in her pillows, ignoring the urge to close her eyes and looking at Ghost again, making sure to give them a judgemental stare.

Ghost did grip something under their cloak (wings? Hornet never knew what this thing around the vessels was) and after a bit of struggling, they produced a jar... a jar filled with honey. The smell actually made Hornet's mouth water. Honey was one of the few things she liked to eat that wasn't meat, mostly because she had trained in the Hive in her youth.

Though, as lucky as she felt about having more food, she couldn't help but scold Ghost. “Ghost, did you get this on your own? The Hive is dangerous, even without the infection! What if the Hive Knight would have found you?”

Ghost shook their head and then outstretched their hand, showing Hornet a shiny little charm. A charm she remembered. The charm of the Hive. “Wait, you have been there and challenged him already?” Hornet wanted to be surprised, but Ghost couldn't really surprise her anymore. When they could surprise her somehow, then it was that they were full of surprises.

“Anyway... I guess I have to thank you, though I don't approve that you sneak out at night into the Hive.”, Hornet murmured. “At least we have more food for the group now..”

Ghost rigorously shook their head and pressed the jar in her hands. “For me?”, Hornet asked and Ghost nodded.

“But... Ghost, I appreciate it, but I don't need.. the others need the food much more than...”

Another shook of their head and a stomp of their foot along with crossed arms and a slight turn around. Hornet suddenly felt very small, she had never seen them that upset.

“Alright, alright...”, she said. “Maybe I have eaten insufficient lately...”

Ghost nodded again and gave the jar of honey another press, so that she had to hold it firmly in her hands.

“Alright alright...”, Hornet finally gave in. “I will take your offer, Ghost.”

As she opened the jar, her hunger became more and more apparent and soon she dug in and had finished the whole jar in what felt like no time and finally, for once, she didn't feel overly hungry. Satisfied even.

She then saw Ghost holding up something. A little rock with a few letters written on it. Lately Cornifer had given them writing lessons, though it still was a work in progress.

“Fine?”

That was the word they had painted on the rock (where did they even have the colours from?).

“I am fine.”, Hornet said. “This time for real. I am sorry, Ghost, I shouldn't have lied to you. I just feel so... responsible for everyone. I can't show weakness in front of anyone.”

Ghost shook their head again and then got something out. Hornet recognized it as the King's Idol they had found in Greenpath. They tossed it at the ground, just as she had done and then hit it with their nail, leaving a notable crack in it.

“You as well don't have the best memories of him, right?”, Hornet said. Both of them had been left behind, though in a different kind of way. Ghost had been discarded and Hornet had been left with responsibility far too huge for her age.

Ghost nodded again and gave the King's Idol another smack, so that it landed in front of her. Hornet took it into her hands and stared at it. She did miss him, that she had to admit to herself, but she also knew that her anger and her disappointment were real and there was no reason to hide it in front of Ghost.

She squeezed the Idol until it cracked into two pieces and just watched as they fell down. “Thank you, Ghost.”, she said. “But make sure to not tell Hollow about this.”

The way Hollow idealized their father... it would break their heart seeing his image being defiled like that.

Another quick nod and then Ghost actually got another one out, their face clearly saying: “Wanna break another?”

A grin crept over Hornet's face. She would never get her mother back or escape her responsibilities, but at least she could vent out her frustrations, even though it took her sibling for her to realize.

“Oh you bet I want.” (Author's note: Little Ghost is kinda fun to write. I think they are a character mostly showing what they feel through body language and it was fun to come up with how they would act. I also like to think that they can stare very judgemental, even though their expression never changes, a stare of them can make anyone falter. Hornet's relationship to PK is... complicated. He hasn't actually been a bad father to her, but as the infection came back and depression took over, he left her alone more and more and she got angry about it... especially when he decided to just vanish. She felt utterly betrayed by it and it is a huge source of her frustration and anger. I put in some little references to the game in there, try to find them if you please.)

#hollow knight #fanfiction #hornet #little ghost #march of the whumps #request fill #hornet has issues #whump #emotional whump #ask answered #thx for the ask #littlewritesstuff #Anonymous

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gamerwoo · 4 years ago

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[Tales from the Pack] Chan: Homewrecker (Part Three)

Characters: Chan x female reader

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, fantasy, angst, implied abuse, a lil bit of fluff toward the end???

Word count: 1,888

Summary: Chan caught your attention as soon as your eyes met across the market. Something about him drew you to him, and you knew you were meant to be. However, you were already taken and arranged to be married on your next birthday, so you could never be together.

Previous | Next | Homewrecker Masterlist

“And where do you think you’re going, kid?”

Chan froze, turning around to see Soonyoung looking at him with a smirk and arms folded across his chest. He assumed the alphas wouldn’t want him sneaking out, especially not if they knew he was going into town again. There had been strange men wandering the woods, and the pack had confirmed they were guards and werewolf hunters, so they had to lay low for a while. But Chan had to see you. He was going crazy thinking about what could’ve happened to you, especially now that your fiancé apparently suspected what he was. You were seen with them, and you said you were friends with them. He had to make sure you were safe and okay.

“Look, I know it’s not safe, but I have to see _____,” Chan tried to desperately explain, keeping his voice hushed in case Seungcheol wasn’t asleep just yet. “What if Donghae did something to her?”

Soonyoung nodded lazily, “I get it, she’s your mate. I’m not going to baby you.”

“I know I-- Wait…you’re not?”

It was normal for Chan to be treated like a child – although, sometimes he liked it when it was one of the girls – so he was surprised that Soonyoung, the one who picked on him the most, was being so understanding. Normally, Soonyoung didn’t seem to care too much about the mate thing, especially considering he was always going out to sleep around – though he hadn’t tried anything like that since hitting on you.

“No, I’m not,” he chuckled. “Chan, I know I don’t get the mating pull thing, but I understand how it must feel. We all had to see the heartbreak from Josh and Seungkwan firsthand, and the last thing I want is to have to see anything like that again. Whatever you have to do, you need to do it. Just promise me to keep yourself safe too.”

Chan was surprised by Soonyoung’s words, but he was also touched. Obviously what happened to Joshua was tragic -- it was almost tragic with Seungkwan, too -- and everyone was upset seeing him heartbroken, but he didn’t know that Soonyoung actually…well, cared.

“I will,” the younger wolf nodded. “Thanks, Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung nodded his head toward the backdoor, “I suggest you make your escape that-a-way. Front door’s a bit squeaky lately.”

Chan gave one final nod before racing out the backdoor, silently but quickly following the pull to you.

You knew your family took notice, from the way your sister’s eyes widened before leaving the room, to the way your mother bit her lip and fought the terrified look in her eyes, to the way your father awkwardly coughed and pretended to not notice. They knew Donghae had hit you – a lot – and he would definitely do it again, especially now that he knew you associate with the werewolves.

No matter how many times you insisted you didn’t know, Donghae wouldn’t let up, insisting you were a werewolf-lover. He even threatened your life if the wolves didn’t kill you first.

You didn’t know why, though, but you weren’t afraid. Chan had shown nothing but kindness, and the others you met clearly didn’t mean any harm since they never did anything to hurt you. In fact, you felt…oddly fond of the brown-haired boy. But you knew you’d probably never see him again; not when Donghae was going to be watching your every move – literally.

But even if they were werewolves, at least none of them hit you.

As you laid in bed that night, you couldn’t fall asleep. Your body was still sore from what Donghae had done to you, and you had stayed in bed all day just because moving hurt. You still couldn’t believe you had to marry him, but that was your fate. And man, did fate suck.

Staring at the ceiling in silence, you heard your window on the second floor slide open. You tried to sit up, but your muscles screamed in pain, and your arms ultimately shook before you collapsed back on your bed, your head falling against your pillow.

“Ah, don’t get up!” Chan whispered urgently, seeing how you couldn’t even hold yourself up. “It’s just me.”

You watched at the boy easily climbed in through your window, landing silently on the wooden floor. He smiled softly at you, but it quickly fell when he took in your appearance. Your skin was littered with bruises and your lip was healing from being split -- and the skin of your left arm was raised just a bit right at the top of your inner forearm below the bend of your elbow, a reminder that Chan should’ve expected all of this from Donghae when he was the reason there was a tracker implanted in you.

You didn’t want him to worry about you, so you offered a weak smile, “How did you find me?”

His eyes that scanned your exposed skin flashed back up to yours – you noticed they were gold instead of the brown you were used to, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“You know,” you began, letting out a soft sigh, “Donghae already told me he thinks you’re monsters…”

Chan’s mouth parted, wanting to say something but he didn’t know what. What if you thought he was a monster too? What if you denied him?

‘Of course she will,’ he reminded himself, ‘she’s engaged.’

“Is that why he did this?” was all Chan could get out. “Because of me?”

He felt awful. It was his fault you got hurt this badly, and he couldn’t even protect you. Even now, he couldn’t do anything. It wasn’t like he could kidnap you and take you with him. The entire town would be out looking for you, and Donghae already had hunters searching the woods for them now.

You saw the broken look in Chan’s eyes as he continued to look over your injuries, and it made you feel sad, “Don’t worry about it, okay? It’ll heal.”

“Why are you trying to make me feel better?” Chan laughed, sounding both angry and upset. “I did this to you; this happened because of me!”

While his voice was harsh, he kept it a whisper so he wouldn’t alert anybody of his presence. The last thing he wanted now was your family finding out there was a strange boy in your room and you getting into even more trouble than he already did.

You forced yourself to sit up despite the protests of your limbs. Chan helped you up, his warm hands soothing against the ache in your body.

“I don’t blame you,” you told him sincerely. “Chan, I’m only mad at Donghae. …Well, afraid is more like it.”

Finally, he asked quietly, “Don’t you think I’m a monster?”

“A-are you really…a werewolf?” you wondered just above a whisper, chewing on your bottom lip.

He knew he’d have to come clean at some point, so he might as well just do it early on. You already were told he was anyway.

“All of my brothers are,” he nodded slowly. “There’s thirteen of us – not counting mates.”

You thought over his confession. While Donghae had told you, you thought maybe he was just crazy. But knowing he was right was a weird feeling, one you couldn’t describe.

However, you realized it didn’t change anything. You still preferred being around Chan over Donghae any day, and you felt much safer having the werewolf around than your own fiancé. In fact, even just having Chan here in your room felt like a dream that was too good to be real.

Chan waited nervously for you to say something, trying to keep his inner wolf at bay as he stared at the odd lump on your arm. He still couldn’t believe that was put there and your family didn’t do anything about it. He couldn’t believe someone was so vile as to do that to another human being.

“Chan,” you finally spoke up, making his yellow eyes dart to your face. To his relief, you at least didn’t look disgusted, “the only person I think is a monster is Donghae. You are far from a monster.”

The pup couldn’t help it as his face broke out into a relieved smile, and it took everything in him to not wrap you up in his arms and cover your face with kisses. He did let out a content hum in his chest, which you heard rumble through your quiet room.

“Really?” he grinned, finally deciding to sit on the edge of your bed, facing you with one leg resting on the mattress while the other stayed on the floor. “This really doesn’t bother you?”

“You’ve helped me more than he has,” you gave a quiet chuckle with a shrug. “Besides, you’re more like a…a puppy than anything.”

At that, he frowned, “I am not.”

You watched as Chan’s eyes went down to your left arm, a place he’d been looking often. He had forgotten about the tracker for the last couple days, and seeing the bump reminded him and only made him more and more upset. Slowly, he reached toward your arm, making sure you weren’t going to pull away out of fear or otherwise. His strong hand held your forearm softly as he leaned closer to examine it.

“Can I ask what happened when this was implanted?” he wondered softly. “Although, I’m not really sure I want to know…”

You inhaled deeply, knowing what happened to your arm would upset Chan more than anything else he could physically see, “Chan… Look, I promise it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Really?” he quizzed, gesturing to the same arm that was covered in bruises. “This seems like a big deal.”

You didn’t know how to reply, so you just stayed silent as Chan continued to rub his thumb over the chip.

“We have to get you out of here,” he stated, his body beginning to shake with rage.

He was surprised your next question wasn’t you wondering why in the hell you’d leave with someone who was not only a stranger, but a werewolf of all things.

“How?” you asked quietly, watching as Chan stewed in his own anger. “He’ll find me no matter where I go.”

“I’ll figure it out,” he promised, finally meeting your eyes. Somehow, looking at you calmed him. “Until then, I promise to visit you every night, okay? It’s not safe to meet in the market anymore if Donghae can track you.”

You frowned, “But what if you get caught in the woods? He sent hunters out there to look for you and the rest of your pack.”

“I won’t,” he swore, his jaw set, and his eyes showing his sureness. “I know it sounds absurd, but I’ll do anything to keep you safe, _____.”

“Why?” you laughed softly. “You barely know me.”

“That’s…a story for another day. You should sleep now. I’ll stay until you fall asleep.”

So you laid back down, letting the kind wolf tuck you in before he shifted beside you on the bed. He hummed softly as you closed your eyes, trying to help you sleep faster.

Right before you drifted off, you felt a warm hand running through your hair.

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tachosnachos · 4 years ago

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I’ve recently caught up on penthouse and i’ve been seeing a lot of hate going to Rona’s character.

While I admit she’s annoying and I don’t like how she raises her voice at her mom, I do believe it is also Yoonhee’s fault. Yoonhee is the kind of mother who would do anything for her daughter, anything no matter the cost. So if you think of it this way, Rona is in a way sorta spoiled by her mother. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t think about her mom, but she mostly priorities what she wants. Like her mother, once they set their mind on something then they get it no matter the cost. So her personality in S1 made sense.

That and the lack of communication between the two made for even more misunderstandings. They don’t talk about their worries, their problems. Yoonhee doesn’t tell rona what she had to do for Rona. Rona doesn’t tell her mom how much bullying she’s had to go through in school. Most of their fighting is the cause of their pent up frustrations. So although I understand she’s annoying, I don’t however understand the hate. Please remember the children are only freshman in s1, barely a teenager.

The same people who wished her character to be killed off are the same who justifies and glorify the hera kids. Seok kyung’s character is loved and understood just because she has an abusive father. Nothing justifies what they did to Seol A. It wasn’t just teasing or name calling, they ALMOST KILLED HER. If she wasn’t smart enough to get herself out of that car, she would’ve died even earlier than she did. So yes I feel bad for her and her brother for being physically abused, heck I felt bad for eun byeol being mentally abused but criticise them fairly. (And this is coming from someone who watched it for kim young dae)

Everyone praised seok hoon and jenny for doing the bare minimum. What they’re doing is basic human empathy and respect, the thing they couldn’t give to Seol A when she was was still alive. While I am proud of their character development, you simply cannot say that Jenny is better than Rona. Rona has always been a good person. I’m not even saying this because I’m a Rona stan, I’m literally just so confused about the hate she’s getting as opposed to the support seok kyeong and jenny is getting.

Also remember that seok kyeong still has yet to show character development or even remorse from what she did to Seol A. The way she threatens her brother knowing he cares for her is not something you should look pass. That’s called manipulation. I’m starting to think her father is right for wanting to separate the twins. Seok Kyeong is a bitch and with her brother with her, even though he doesn’t partake and sometimes stops her bullying, he lets her get a way with it. He didn’t scold her, or make her take responsibility or apologise for the things she did. Even in s2 when he was about to say something when the teacher blamed rona, he stopped when she stopped him. They need to be separated so the two could grow.

And people hating Rona for coming back to korea...We’re only 4 episodes in guys, I’m pretty sure she has a reason why she wanted to go back to korea. She was happy in US, she wouldn’t have came back without a reason, even if she came back for a stranger who was now dead. Unless you’ve had the experience of your mom telling you that they’ve killed a person for you, the sister of the person who took care of you in the US, you really have no right to say how she should feel or do. Yes, her outburst to her mother is justified in S2. I would’ve asked to be kept in the dark as well, I can’t even imagine the guilt I would feel if someone told me someone was killed for my own happiness. How will you ever be able to do that exact thing that caused some one else’s death. She’s literally repenting by coming back and fulfilling seol a’s dream. She didn’t have to feel guilty, because technically she did nothing wrong. She didn’t know what her mom did. But she also remembered how she was the one who made her mom go to that extent, she admitted that she too was at fault and that to me in development. So please think thoroughly before you hate a character and try to understand why the character did what they did.

#the penthouse #penthouse war in life #the penthouse 2 #baerona #seokhoon

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lavender-lotion · 3 years ago

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Fanfic Writer Asks

I was tagged by @asarcasticwitch - thank you so much!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

737, which is an ugly number :(

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,890,054 words, which ... AH I might actually get to 2mil by the end of the year!

3) How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

thank you, ao3 dashboard for this handy list:

Teen Wolf (TV) (377)

X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies) (187)

Marvel Cinematic Universe (93)

Glee (29)

Young Justice (Cartoon) (11)

Kingsman (Movies) (9)

Original Work (9)

The Avengers (Marvel Movies) (8)

Criminal Minds (US TV) (7)

Thor (Movies) (6)

Deadpool (Movieverse) (5)

Weird City (TV) (5)

X-Men (Original Timeline Movies) (4)

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga) (4)

Ragnarok (TV 2020) (4)

Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies) (3)

Teen Wolf (TV) RPF (3)

Iron Man (Movies) (3)

The House in the Cerulean Sea - T. J. Klune (2)

Venom (Marvel Movies) (1)

Stranger Things (TV 2016) (1)

Captain America (Movies) (1)

Fate: The Winx Saga (TV) (1)

Power Rangers Ninja Storm (1)

X-Men - All Media Types (1)

Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan (1)

Riverdale (TV 2017) (1)

X-Men Evolution (1)

Push (2009) (1)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

With You, I Belong

Mates and Marriage Proposals

The Perceptions of You and I

(baby) maybe that matters more

Breathing You In

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

ughh so, fair warning, I have a lot of works. I definitely do not remember all of them, however I do have four works tagged as Unhappy Ending and then another nine works tagged Ambiguous/Open Ending, which is way more than I’d thought I had!

however, there is one fic that stands out in mind when I think about which of my works has the angstiest ending! Heed the tags :)

And Now?

Stiles Stilinski finds out who his soul mates are by setting one on fire.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

ughhhhhhhh I truly do not know???

7) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t write many crossovers at all! I have some mcu/teen wolf cross overs, I have a teen wolf/glee cross over plotted (that i’ll probably never write), but my strangest is probably this teen wolf/x-men cross over!

what-ifs (don’t fuckin’ matter to no one)

Teen And Up Audiences | No Archive Warnings Apply | M/M | X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)Teen Wolf (TV) | Logan (X-Men)/Sheriff Stilinski | Logan (X-Men), Sheriff Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski | Memory Loss, Telepathy, Mentions of War, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Neglect, Grief/Mourning, Telepath Stiles Stilinski, Telekinetic Stiles Stilinski, Nightmares, Cuddling & Snuggling

There’s somethin’ there. Somethin’ that has him sleeping curled up on his side with a pillow tucked to his chest, somethin’ that has him splittin’ up his food ‘fore he eats ‘cause he don’t need as much as a baseline. Has him turnin’ to tell someone shit that ain’t there. There’s just...there’s just somethin’ there that’s missin’ and it shouldn’t be missin’.

8) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

sometimes! I don’t write a lot of smut because I actively dislike writing it, but the smut I do write is super super soft and sappy and full of emotions lol

9) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to almost all of my comments! comments i won’t respond to: negative comments, unsolicited criticism, comments that aren’t relevant to the fic itself, comments simply asking for more

I love love love responding to comments! I love every single comment that I get and I want to show how much I appreciate getting them, and personally I think responding to comments is the only way to do that! everyone has different comment philosophies, but for me, if someone is taking the time to comment on my fic like I so badly want them to, I think it’s important to respond to show my appreciation!

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

aha YEAH I DO. this past weekend I actually got a number of shitty comments and had to file two ao3 abuse reports for harrasment (: I love it

I am no stranger to hate comments. I write copious amounts of age difference fic. I write copious amounts of incest. I am not going to apologize nor am I going to feel bad for enjoying either.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

ughhh I sure as heck hope not!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I have a number of them :) I always always do my best to make sure it’s linked to the original fic, AND that I add a tag noting that there’s a translation!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have made a few attempts! the only successful attempt is there's nothing i wouldn't do to make you feel my love which is a collaboration with @flightinflame, not quite a co-write!

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I am unable to answer this lol I don’t have an all-time favourite. mutli-shipping forever.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

god okay this is such a good question! imma ramble about a few so bear with me here! (i may have 700 posted works but I also have a few hundreds wips & ideas floating around in my gdrive, too)

gone & past - this is a starrish wip i’d started in 2017. I ended up deleting it from ao3 to rewrite it and never got there, but I have about 20k of content! I built my home, inside of you - thorki human au with college jock thor and high school dancer loki. i’ve got a start and nothing else Sheriff Stilinski Gets Some Sweet Sweet Lovin’ - massive wip where... well, the sheriff fucks his way through the entire pack. I want to write it but. trans allison au - this is an au where allison is trans and that changes the entire season 1 canon. it features stallison, petopher, and a looooooong ass outline that will never exist beyond my wips You Fill My Heart (With Such a Gentle Love) - this is a stetopher a/b/o au with pregnant omega stiles and alpha pair petopher falling in love. it started as a labour of love to someone I no longer have in my life. I have about 30k, a full outline, but idk. makes me sad to think about it they slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered - this is my big x-men first class rewrite that I honestly don’t think i’ll ever finish. I have a few thousand words, a full outline, but no love lost for cherik so. doubtful Physiotherapy (I'll Be Your Baby) - this was a fic I was SO excited about, and then it kinda flopped and stayed a wip because I didn’t have a plan or the motivation to finish it. it’s a winterspider human au with amputee bucky and science twink peter that I adore the premise of but who knows breathing you in chapter 2 - I have a massive second chapter planned for this fic but the first did so good so fast I am way too intimidated to write more in case everyone hates it lmao

there are more arjgoirjeg there are so many more but these are the bigger ones I can think of right now!

16) What are your writing strengths?

ughhhhh I hate answering this because I have, like, seriously bad imposter syndrome around my writing BUT I do think i’m able to weave poignant backstory into narration & i write strong, distinctive narrative voices!

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

literally I can’t write settings at all. I don’t know how people vividly describe settings but I absolutely cannot do that and it’s one of the reasons I haven’t delved into original fiction. I need to write the town my characters live in?? fuck that imma just use a location we’ve seen on screen & let readers fill in the blanks lmao

I am also shit at long fic. I don’t have the mind for long and interesting plots, and I don’t have the focus to write long fic (which is why every long fic i’ve ever posted has taken me literal years to complete smh).

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I like it! both as a reader and as a writer. as a writer, I generally only use a few words, or small sentences that can be understood by context, and I generally don’t

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

the last thing I wrote and posted was this one:

Languish

It was a really, really hot Saturday, and most of the school was outback, enjoying the sun, not caring about the heat, and having the time of their life.

Everyone but Bobby, of course, who was melting away.

“I just want to remind everyone that I make ice. I am the Ice Man. I am not built for the heat and soon enough I’m going to melt away into nothing.”

20) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this is another impossible question! I have a few I really enjoy, but I really don’t think I have a favourite that stands out above the rest!

i’m tagging: @4magicandmayhem @insertmeaningfulusername @midrashic @wynnefic @ikeracity @stronglyobsessed @elledelajoie @wolfnprey & anyone else who sees it and wants to do it! seriously! go ahead :)

blank questions below the read more!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

3) How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

7) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

8) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

9) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

16) What are your writing strengths?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

20) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

#lavenderlotion #my writing #writing tag #writing meme

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ivysimagines · 3 years ago

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sparklers and kisses - jj maybank

hey babes.

so, here's the first scenario/imagine.

this is my favorite bedtime scenario tbh HAHAH.

also, i don't like fourth of july.

it's a stupid holiday created for the "founding fathers" (spoiler alert: they didn't find shit).

i'm simply using it for the setting since new year's would be way too cold in north carolina.

anyways, onto the scenario!!

(TW: teen drinking, talk about an abusive father, talk about drugs, and a happy couple </33)

Pronouns/terms used: fem terms used.

fem clothing.

FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF.

(thoughts will be in italics and bold)

It's Fourth of July.

For some that means fireworks, grilling, spending time with family, and playing games.

However, for me and my friends Fourth of July means getting shitfaced drunk, the wildest kegger of the year, and (hopefully) getting laid.

I'm sitting on my bathroom counter with my legs crossed and getting ready.

I hear my phone vibrate on my dresser in my bedroom.

I get up off of the bathroom counter and walk out.

I grab my phone, nearly dropping it.

I click on the text and smile whenever I read it, it's from JJ.

'hey loser, you ready for tn?’

I quickly responded with ‘yessss :)’ and opened Spotify.

I clicked on my favorite playlist titled ‘getting ready and feeling hot asf’.

Thanks Kiara for the name idea.

My phone automatically connected to my speakers and ‘More than a Woman’ started playing.

I went back to my bathroom counter and got on top.

I continued doing my mascara.

*a few minutes have passed*

I hop off of my bathroom counter quickly and walk into my bedroom.

I take off my black sweats, wife beater, and underwear and throw them into my dirty clothes hamper.

I put on my bright blue bathing suit bottoms and a white bikini top.

I walk over to my body mirror and check myself out.

I smile and slightly giggle.

God motherfucking damn I’m hot.

JJ is lucky as hell.

I put on some old light-washed jean shorts then one of JJ’s red sleeveless t-shirts.

I put on my beach sandals that show the fresh white nail polish on my toes.

(A.N. i hate the word toes. It’s so gross HAHAH)

Thank god I painted my nails last night.

I walk over to my desk chair and pull my tote bag off the chair.

I throw some Sun Bum sunscreen (both facial and body ofc), some pink tinted chapstick, my sunglasses, a camera, a white hair clip, my wallet with some cash, and an old empty Altoids container filled with blunts i rolled last night and my orange lighter.

I prefer getting high ovcr vaping.

If I’m gonna ruin my lungs why not make it fun?

(A.N. i’m not shaming anyone who gets high/vapes. I do both and that is just something i say often that i think is funny).

I grab my phone and turn off my music.

I slide my phone in my back pocket then quickly change out some of my jewelry so it matches my outfit.

I grab my tote bag and put it on my elbow.

I spray some of my body spray on me and the tote bag.

I run my fingers through my hair and give myself one last look in the mirror.

I smile as my hair settles on my shoulders.

I grab my car keys off my ring holder and head out of my bedroom.

I run down the stairs and say goodbye to my dad who is sitting on the couch and watching baseball.

*fast forward 12 minutes*

I park in front of John B’s house.

I pull my key out of the ignition and get out.

I lock my car and start walking to the porch.

“JBBBB!” I yell as I walk up.

JB’s the nickname I gave John B when we were in 4th grade.

He only lets me call him JB and hates it when the guys do.

(A.N. pretend pope doesn’t call him JB LMAOOO)

“Kitchen!” he yells.

I walk through the porch and into his house.

“You have got to clean this house. It looks like a pig sty in here”

“I’ll.. get to it”

“I will literally help you for free. That’s how shitty this place looks, JB”

He rolls his eyes and continues putting beers in the red cooler with ice.

“Can you actually do something useful and put beers in the other cooler”

I smile at him and nod. I grab a pack of beers from the counter and open it.

I throw them into the cooler.

“Easy, easyyyy”

I inhale deeply and begin placing them softly in the cooler.

“Better, dickhead?”

“Yes, thank you”

*a few minutes pass and the four coolers are all filled*

“Okay, so. We just need to put these in the van, get the kegs, and take them to the Boneyard. Gavin said he would bring the fireworks and everything like that. I assume weed and shit will magically appear as people arrive”

I laugh a little.

“How about we put the coolers in your van and the kegs in my car?”

He places his hands on his hips and nods.

“The speakers, cups, keg pump, and whatever the fuck else we need”

I nod and look at the time on my phone.

“It’s 7:30. We’ve got about 50 minutes before the sun starts setting. We should probably head there before it gets dark.”

He nods and we grab the coolers.

We walk to his van and put them inside.

“We also need to pick up Pope and JJ. I only have one seat so I’ll get Pope, you can get JJ?”

I nod and we continue putting the coolers and kegs in our cars.

*a few minutes pass*

I lean against my car and John B walks over.

“Alrighty, ready?”

I nod and check the time.

7:50.

Damn time flies.

“Do you need to lock the house or anything?”

“Nah, i don’t have anything a robber would want”

We both laugh.

He opens one of the coolers and pulls out two cans of beer.

“Want one?”

I shrug and smile.

“Why not”

He throws one to me lightly and I catch it.

I open the beer and take a sip.

The bland taste fills my mouth.

I hate the taste of beer.

Always have.

I only drink it if there’s no other option.

“So, i’ll get Pope, you get JJ, and we’ll meet at the Boneyard to start setting up?”

I nod and he pulls out his keys.

“Alrighty, cya”

I wave with two fingers and turn around.

(A.N. pls say yk what i mean)

I hop in my car and put my beer in the cup holder.

I pull out before John B and head to JJ’s house.

His dad has been oddly calm these past few days.

We both know he’s gonna blow up soon.

Unfortunately we don’t know when exactly that’s gonna be.

I drink my beer and drive to JJ’s.

*5 minutes pass*

I pull up and see JJ working on something outside.

He hears my car and looks over.

He notices it’s me and smiles.

I roll down my window and look at him.

“Hey there, stranger!” i yell.

He walks over with one of the biggest smiles i’ve seen.

I smile at him.

He comes up to my car and looks at me.

“Ready to party?” i ask him.

“Hell yea” he says.

I smile and he kisses me.

I bite my lip a little.

“You all ready to go?”

He looks around and checks his pockets.

He nods and walks around my car.

He opens the door and hops in.

I turn to him and he kisses me again.

“Hey there!” someone yells.

We both turn and look out my window.

Mr. Maybank is walking up with a beer in his hand.

“Hi, Mr. Maybank” i say in a sweet voice.

“Where you kids going so late?”

“Oh, just to hang out at John B’s”

He nods.

“Alrighty, you look nice Y/N”

I shudder a little.

I hate this motherfucker so much.

“Thank you, Mr. Maybank”

“We better get going. John B will be pissed if we miss the first half of the movie” JJ says in attempt to get us out of this.

“Alrighty, you two have fun..but not too much fun”

Asshole.

Why tf do adults always make sexual comments about teenagers relationships?

I nod and smile.

He walks away and I pull out of the driveway.

It’s quiet for the first few minutes.

The only noise is the radio.

“I’m sorry..about him”

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault”

He sighs.

“It’s been..nice lately. I was gonna say something but I didn’t wanna ruin that”

“Love, it’s okay. I understand”

He takes my hand and rubs the top of my hand with his thumb.

*a few minutes later*

We finally arrived at the Boneyard.

JB and Pope were already there and getting set up.

The drive was awkward.

Everytime I tried to talk to him about his dad he would just shut it down by asking a stupid question like, “do you have the keg pump?”

Like, of course I do JJ.

JB and I aren’t fucking stupid.

(A.N. ehhh John B is kinda stupid tbh)

We get out of my car and start unloading everything.

*it’s now 9:30 and fireworks are starting to go off*

“Y/N/N, I put pink whitney and some white claws in a cooler that’s in my van for you. It’s unlocked if you want them” John B whispers to me.

I smile and nod.

That’s actually kind of sweet.

I walk to the van and grab out a white claw.

I walk back over to John B and Pope.

“I wish Kie were here” Pope says.

“For the love of god just ask her out” i say.

He rolls his eyes at me.

(A.N. Kie is at a Kook party her parents made her go to)

JJ walks up to me with a sparkler that’s lit.

Oh fucking hell.

He knows i’m scared of those.

“JJ..” i say.

He smiles at me as he walks closer.

I begin backing up and set my white claw on the sand.

“Babe no”

He laughs a little.

He speeds up and i begin walking away.

“JJ, no!” i say with a smile.

I start running on the sand and he follows.

“Babyy, c’mere!” he yells.

I laugh and keep running.

I hear the sparkler die out and slow down.

I turn around and see him running up to me.

We’ve gotten so far from everyone we can barely hear the music.

A lifeguard house is blocking the view of the party.

He walks up to me and sits down on the sand next to me.

He grabs my hand and pulls me down.

I fall down slightly and then lie on the ground next to him.

Our breathing slows down.

“You’re gonna get over your fear of sparklers eventually” he says.

I laugh a little.

“No, i won’t”

The fireworks begin going off and we watch them.

I smile and look over to him.

I see he’s already looking at me with a big smile.

“What?”

“Nothing, you’re just..gorgeous”

I roll my eyes and smile.

“Shut up”

He laughs a little.

I flip onto my side and put my hand on his face.

I kiss him as the fireworks go off.

He puts his hand on my cheek and i continue kissing him.

I crawl onto him and straddle him.

We keep kissing as the fireworks go off.

He pushes my hair behind my ear and i smile into the kiss.

We continue kissing for the next few minutes and eventually go back to the party.

We spend the night together at John B’s.

Sorry i ended the chapter at a weird time.

I’m rlly tired n js wanna upload somethingggg.

Lmk what y’all think ig

Once again, request things by messaging me.

Thanks for readinggg!

Also ima change my upload schedule to Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

BYEEE <33

#jjmaybank jjmaybank x reader obximagine outerbanks john b new writer jj x reader

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