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#however it's just not for me! and thats okay
hinamie · 2 days
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in spite of everything, I had fun <3
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yuyu1024 · 2 days
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Watermelon
Pairings: Wooyoung x Y/N
Genre/tags: friends to...?
Warning: fluff, smut 🔞, cursing, pet names (babes, baby, love, honey, noona etc), protected/unprotected sex (be safe everyone)
~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]
Words: 2.7k
Disclaimer:
- this story is just made up
- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊
A/N: something from drafts ✨️
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"Since when did you start wearing make up?" Wooyoung asks as he finds you at Jongho's kitchen, cutting watermelons for the boys.
You pause mid cut and look back at him, leaning on the doorway whilst holding a can of beer in hand. "I'm not in the mood today." You snarl, rolling your eyes. "I'm busy."
He snorts a chuckle. You can hear him walk. But instead of walking away, he appoaches you. "Red is your color..." he says, tilting his head to the side to see your face.
You sigh. "What do you want?" You sound irritated.
He puts his beer on the counter top and leaned his loweback on the edge. "You stopped responding to me..." he crosses his arm around his torso. "I thought we are building something special between us..."
"I don't know what you're talking about..." you utter even though YOU DO know what he meant.
Since the beginning of summer, you and Wooyoung have been... close. You text and call each other. The normal. Like what usually friends do.
However, you and him are not like this before. He is a friend of your friend, Jongho. And so he became friends with you and your circle too. But still... you two are not there yet.
But then lately, he have been making efforts with you. And you thought it was cool and nice since you want to be close with him too coz he is friendly. But little did you know, he likes to be a little TOO friendly. You are blinded by his sweet words that you almost missed it.
And when you noticed that he's after you, not just to be friends. You suddenly got timid with him. You limit your contact with him.
Of course you are doing this not to be mean and unfriend him. It's just a precaution. You know yourself. If you continued it, this something between you too is danger. And you're not sure you can handle just being one of his girls.
"Are you sure?" His voice sounds so evil and yet so alluring.
You even felt him move closer to you that his skin from his arm touches your exposed arm as well. You pray that your body does not react to expose you. But thats not even what you should be worried about. Coz Wooyoung could tell. Weirdly enough, He knows you a lot more than you think.
"Stop..." you look at him.
"Stop what?" He arches a brow.
"That!" You sound irritated. "I'm not in the mood okay? I can't play with your games and shit."
You finally finished cutting the watermelons. You throw the knife and cutting board in the sink.
"Here..." you push the bowl of watermelon to Wooyoung. "Give it to the guys..."
He looks at you confused and dumbfounded but at the same time amused. "Okay." He softly answer. "Talk to you later then." He smiles and leaves you in the kitchen
***
The whole house is loud. The boys are playing games and having bets who would win. And of course, the loser would be the one assigned in washing all the dishes. Exlcuding you and Wooyoung as you two did the cooking and the prep earlier with Seonghwa.
"I win!" Yunho yells overjoyed.
"Aah! I'm safe!" Hongjoong, Yeosang and San said at the same time.
That is leaving Yeosang and Jongho in dishwashing duties.
"But it's my house!" Jongho tries to appeal
"That's more reason for you to be nice to your guests." Seonghwa answers. "Just go and clean..." he pats both males shoulder. "Go on..."
"This is unfair." Jongho pouted
"What's unfair is me and Y/N lost the ladder game for the room. Now we have no choice but to sleep in the scary ass basement room...on that one big ass mattress." Wooyoung says before chugging his beer
(Scary basement because its Jongho's old brother's office that they turned into a guest bedroom. But the vibes is not very welcoming since its not yet decorated properly)
Fuck. You lost the game and you can't react nor beg for anyone to exchange with you. You don't want to cause an issue and make them feel that something is wrong. Because in the first place, nothing is wrong. Technically. You are just....... cautious with Wooyoung because you don't want to have more feelings for him.
Yes he is your friend. But being a girl surrounded by hot men that are your friends, for sure you are bound to have infatuation with one of them. And unlucky you... it is wooyoung. The guy who keeps hitting on you.
"Try not to snore too much, Woo! Y/N needs her beauty sleep." San says
"And turn off your phone okay?" Seonghwa puts his arm around you. "Stop thinking about that guy..."
Wooyoung glances at you and Hwa "What guy?"
You then poke Seonghwa on his stomach with your elbows. "I'm already over him. Stop mentioning it."
Hwa laughs at your reaction. "Are you really?" He pats your head like a big brother that he is for you.
"Do we know this guy?" San asks
"Not really..." Jongho answers as he walk pass to grab his phone. "He is a football player from a different school..." and then goes back to the kitchen.
"And how did you know this guy?" Wooyoung asks trying not to sound bitter or jealous
"It's in the past." You mumble trying not to make them anymore curious. But since Wooyoung is already heated deep down because of the fact that there is another guy interested in you that you never mentioned before.
"Tell us more." He says to hwa
"Well... we met the guy when Y/N came to watch with me... coz a childhood friend of mine is going to that uni. We met them and his team... and this guy... who is famous in their school... liked Y/N..."
"And then what happened?" San scoots over and giving you a teasing smile.
"Nothing happened..." you answer as you pinch his cheek.
"The guys schedule is too hectic to even have time for Y/N... so... she decided to let it go." Hwa adds
"Why do you know all of this? And none of us did?" Wooyoung asks
You glance at him and saw his expression. He looks a little hurt.
"Let's not talk about it okay?" You stand up and hop over the boys legs. "I'm going to shower now... let's move on and you guys go ahead to your rooms... it's late... I need to sleep."
"Fine...." San pouts as he gets up as well. "You can chat about it some other time."
"No..." you stick your tongue out and make your way upstairs to get your things and shower.
***
"What is that guy's name?"
You haven't even had the chance to lay down properly yet, Wooyoung is already asking question about the guy Hwa mentioned.
"Do you text him a lot? Are you still in contact with him?"
"Wooyoung..."
"Are you not in the mood because of him? Are you not texting or calling me back because... OF him?"
You sigh as you put your feet and legs under the thick blanket. "Like I said... it's in the past. We stopped texting like sweet and flirtatious... like late last year..."
"Sweet and fliratious...?" He repeats under his breathe. "But do you still talk to him?"
"From time to time... yes..."
Wooyoung slams his phone on the nightstand and gets under the sheets, turning his back on you.
"What's your problem?"
"You."
"Me? What did I do?!"
He then gets up, startling you and then climbs on top of you. You were about to squeal but he covered your mouth before you could even.
"You are avoiding me... trying to get to know you more... and yet you had this... thing with a football player?"
You bite his finger making him hiss and move a little off you. "You should know why!" You snap back at him. "We are friends... you are not supposed to do what you do with your exes to me."
He frowns. "What does that supposed to mean? And who the fuck said that I am going to treat you like my exes?"
"No one..."
"So you just made that up? And assumed I am the bad guy?"
"Can you blame me? Look at your dating profile. None of them lasted three months."
"Thats because they all cheated on me!" He says exasperatedly then flopping back to bed. "I guess you're not that interested with me coz you don't try to ask for facts..."
You got silenced. You didn't know. You didn't bothered asking around.
"And also... I don't just go around and fuck around... I may look like I have a reputation.. but I respect women okay? And I am a romantic guy..."
You still don't speak up. You just stare at the ceiling and let him talk.
"So... all this time... you assumed that I am just going to play around?" He asks
You look away. "Yes."
He gets up to sit and look at you. "What the fuck?"
You then get up too. "I'm sorry okay? But can you blame me? That's all I know from you...well regards to your dating okay? and the way you text me... its giving..  fuck boy."
"A fuck boy?" He laugh. "How do I even text you? What do I do to give that vibes?" He's not sure if he is offended or being complimented. He just laughs it off  "Seonghwa is right..." he continues. "Even though you hang out with us... a bunch of guys... you are still a girl... not that I am.. trying to say girls are very dramatic and overthinking...but ya know..."
You glare at him. "Fine. I am. And so what?" You roll your eyes
"Nothing...I'm just saying... plus I don't give damn."
"What? What does that supposed to mean?"
Wooyoung looks at you. A small smile on his lips. "I still like you... even you labelled me as a player."
"Shut up." You hit him with your pillow
"Hey! I am serious."
"I am too!" You hit him again. "Shut up!"
"Shut up or else what?"
You press your lips together and stare at him. Unsure what to say.
But you are glad though that he sort of cleared a few things about him. Your misconception about him. Which is your fault too. You judged him a little too much because you try to find things to hate about him so that you would not step over the boundry that you're trying to avoid.
"Y/N... do you like me or not?" He suddenly asks. "Just tell me... and if you say no... I will stop. I'll go back to the old Wooyoung... not caring and texting you everyday... or wanting your attention..."
You sigh
"And don't give me the bullshit that you thought we are just friends thing. Okay? You know what we've been doing these past few months. We are texting and calling each other, yes... but... I know how we do skinship had evolved." He moves closer. "I know how you felt whenever we cuddle during movie nights... and whenever my lips brushed over your ears as I hug you closer..." he is now centimeters away from you and you are not moving away. "C'mon sweety... just be honest." He smirks
Oh you hate that smirk. You hate it because he already knows but he is still asking you. He wants you to say the obvious.
"Fuck you!" You mutter before launching yourself to him.
You are kissing him and he is kissing you back. And as you two continue to suck each others lips off your faces, the more your bodies react with the friction and the touches that you are giving.
"Touch me more..." you breathe out. "Please..."
Wooyoung is on top of you, grinding his pelvis on to your covered area. His hands are busy grabbing your ass or your hips. His grind is hard and making sure even with all of those layers of cloth. You could feel his errection ready to penetrate in you.
"You sound so divine..." he hums as he continues to give you wet kisses all over your neck
"Ahh fuck..." you grab onto his hair and pull it so he could look back at you. "This is so wrong... we are friends..."
"Friends my ass..." he smirks. "We're definitely leveling up after this." and goes back to nibbling your skin and leaving kiss marks all over.
He undresses himself totally, throwing his pajamas somewhere while for you, only your shorts and undies are off. He did put the thick blanket over you two as you still feel a little bit shy being this exposed to him. He understands.
"I'll take care of you..." he whispers, kissing the back of your hand. "What will you say if it hurts?"
"Watermelon." Your voice is so soft and weak. You sound nervous. You are not a virgin but of course, the though of fucking your friend still lingers in your brain. It's a new experience.
"Good..." he gives you a long, sweet smooch before he lowers his body closer to you. "I will put it in now... okay?"
"Okay..."
Easing himself in, the stretch is already making your eyes roll at the back of your head. It fucking feels good. He moves his hips slower first to get you adjusted to his size. And while your brain is rotting from the sensation he is also begins exploring your mouth with his tongue.
Oh, That sharp tongue he has. Who knew that he's not just a smart ass, naughty and blunt guy with his words but also this brilliant with kissing.
"Ohh..." you suck in your breathe when you feel him hit the spot. "Oh fuck..." your mouth drops open unable to say any words out as he continues to hit it
"Shit!" He hisses as he felt you tighten. "Your squeezing me..." he lowers his body to embrace you. "Shit... I'm close..."
You wrap your arms around his shoulder and kiss the curve of his neck. "Can you... come in me?"
His cheeks heats up hearing your words. That made his dick twitch. He likes the way you said. "Are you sure?"
You nod. "Please? Don't worry... I'm on birth control. I just... I want to feel it... everything..."
Wooyoung bites his lips, supressing a blushing smile. "Fuck... why do you sound so sexy saying that?"
His dick felt the rush from your words. He continued to thrust fast and strong until you both reached the end goal. Both of you came and flops down to the bed like you hiked Mt. Everest in a day.
"That was amazing..." he proudly smiles. "Are you okay? How are you feeling?"
You cover yourself with the blanket and lay on your side facing him. "I'm okay..." you smile. "I'm sleepy now..." you trail off. "I've never been this tired after having sex before..."
His eyebrows twitches. "Coz you haven't had the taste of me... that's why." He leans over and kisses you on the cheek. "And please... don't mention any of your exes... I'd want them to be erased in your memory... you have me now. Just me... okay?"
Slowly your eyes closes. "Hmmm..." you answer. "Whatever you say..."
He snorts a weak laugh as he watches you slowly go to sleep without even realizing it.
"You're so fucking cute." He says
Wooyoung covers you more, hiding your disheveled and after sex state. Then he gets up to fix himself up so he can sleep next to you. But then, after a few heart beats he hears someone walking down the stairs.
"Yah... seriously... you two should've atleast closed the door." He softly says. It was Seonghwa who looks a bit shookt and worried.
Wooyoung smirks. "Are we that loud?"
"Loud enough to be heard in the living room. You are lucky the rest of the guys are upstairs and Jongho's parents are not here."
"Sorry... we are just..."
"Hush. I am not judging... we already know the things between you two... its kinda obvious..." Seonghwa yawns. "Next time.... just do it when we are not around okay? Just go fucking date or whatever." He turns around and takes a sip of his warm milk. "Also... make it official okay... like say it. You know Y/N likes things to he clear. Don't do what the other guy did." He says before leaving the basement room.
"I will." Wooyoung answers before laying beside you and giving you a kiss on the cheek.
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omega-e123 · 2 days
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i low key think shadow would be a great with a s/o who has autism like this boy. Is it to loud or overstimulating? He brought your noice canceling headphones your to stuborn to bring with you. You start stiming and people give you a hard time, this boy is placing a fidget or something soft (me in a nutshell), in your hand as he procceds to fight or slap the shit out of the person who started it. After just holding you close gently and walking out trying to show hes proud to have you in his life as he does.
Proceding on, Do you have certain safe foods and at times for sensory security thats all you'll eat. You best bet shadow thought ahead and has a stash of your safe foods. Having a sensory overload? This edgey boy is wrapping you in a weighted blanket and sitting close until he knows its okay to touch you. Once it is hes holding you and rubbing your head (i imagine he would because his s/o would ruin their hands through his quills and he finds it comforting or something).
If you having a meltdown i see our boy making sure your in a safe room where your completely safe as you do, and will give you time if you need it. However if his love wants him there hes hesitaintly will hold them scared to hurt them during your meltdown before he grows more comfortable.
(This wasn't self indulget i promise lol, my first time here so i wanna say your shadow fics from what ive read so far are amazing! Your writing is great and keep doing what make you well you)
I def feel like Shadow would be super understanding with an S/O with Autism.
HES A CARING GUY. To those he is really close to.
This was incredibly cute ;—;
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bedforddanes75 · 27 days
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do you have any fanfiction recs??
I DO!!!!!! im honoured that someone's thought of Me to ask for recs omg... anyway theyll be under the cut because making long posts without a cut makes me feel mean
okay im assuming u mean gatty cos. its Me so sorry if u didnt 😞 smut is marked with * btw!!! (also before i start i'm sorry to everyone i tag i Hate tagging it's really scary.) SO. in no specific order. let's go
love me to death* by...somebody who i do not know the tumblr of (sorry) is amazing. i'd also recommend everything else by this person, too, because all of it is beautiful.
all the king's horses by the wonderful @allylikethecat is one of my all time faves, it just makes me want to scream and cry and yell and jump up and down. in a very, very good way!! (also, it has horses, so.)
the big light by @betweenthings2 is for real godsent, and i would die to be able to write like this!!!!! (but if u do then tw for speak of s/a!! keep urself safe!) it's beautiful and sad and sad and sad and wonderful. again, i'd recommend everything else by them, too!!! (also loads of crisps because it got updated like three seconds ago, and i Love It)
in the search for it, inside of you* by @arainesque is so beautifully sad, and the best thing ever. it's so soft and wonderful and lovely and aaaaaahhh!!! the way she wrote their dynamic makes my heart ACHE. obsessed always :(((((<3
how little i really know (about the things that matter)* OH MY GOD. farm boy george. literally almost entirely what inspired deus like it's AMAZING. beautiful and i love it so much
roadkill, again, by @betweenthings2 because she's genuinely amazing and deserves nine hundred thousand billion kudos on every single fic <3 (tw for restrictive (i think) EDs btw!!) i think if i read this while not in a good mood i would explode and die. it's amazing
into my spiral patterns you (my love) by @lookedlikethebins which is in progress rn is HWHSKJSJSJ. beautiful. obsessed with how they've written george in this one <3
okay im Very sorry to everyone who i tagged here i genuinely hate tagging people so much it makes me SICK but i kinda felt bad speaking about fics and Not tagging people. LORD. someone give me a tumblr etiquette class
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dhmis-autism · 10 months
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ID LOVE TO SEE YOUR HUMAN RED GUY BTW
well gosh if you're gonna be so enthusiastic about it sure. here's a drawing i did of him a while back. if you really want i'll show you the others but ah, im shy.
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zer0expektation · 3 days
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reading the interview with the vampire book for the first time! why is Louis and Claudia's relationship like that!! what the fuck is going on!!!
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red-dyed-sarumane · 8 months
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i need people to start paying me for every time they tell me "oh but ur arts so good ur wasting ur talent u need to do it professionally" wrong i need to do art to draw beautiful characters that not a single other person cares about while feeding every ounce of love i have into my work or to convey thoughts & feelings beyond words and to even think of doing otherwise is to deny my own nature "oh but u can do what u want and then sell it" why is everything about money to you why cant u just enjoy things at what point in ur life did u forget how to have fun
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misspickman · 5 months
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Actually so evil of bg3 to have the emperor be referred to with it/its pronouns only to do the big reveal and make it a him again
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piplupod · 3 months
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feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.
#part of me wonders if going to the centre is helping or hurting more#but i think it's definitely helping more. however it is definitely also hurting/making some things worse#i just wish I could be operating at the same level as most of society#and i feel so egotistical when I talk abt this#but like. why am i always so fucking aware of every single thing going on#and everyone else is just painfully oblivious#I AM USING HYPERBOLE. ITS NOT EVERYONE. i know im not the only person ever lmao#when i got my autism diagnosis i thought oh good okay so THIS is why im such a freak#and now I've met so many other autistic ppl irl and um. no. no thats definitely not it still.#yes its probably part of it but im also just. so fucking traumatized i guess idk. i hate this so much#i just want to be the same and fit in and not be analyzing everything and be able to actually speak my mind#and not be so kind and polite and respectful all the time and be able to say shitty stupid things without thinking anything of it#im so tired of being the only one who seems to care so much about everyone else's comfort and feelings#but also at the same time i would hate if i acted like everyone else bc i know how shitty it makes people feel#and people are always so happy to see me because I am useful and make them feel good and comfortable and heard#and that matters. that means a lot to people i think. but also I am not a person. i am a tool.#and I'd really like to be a person#i somehow feel like im operating at a higher level/awareness than almost everyone irl and also way below everyone at the same time#like im so hyperaware of everyone else more than most ppl but im also so socially inept sometimes. and just... idk how to be a person.#i dont know i just want to not be like this. its so lonely and tiring and i want to matter to people#i want them to like me for more than just what I'm able to do for them. I want to be liked for Me i guess. but Me isnt likeable maybe#Me is uncomfortable for people. Me is a trembling cornered prey animal with a longing to tell stories but is too afraid to do anything#and so Me just exists in a hollow shell made out of people-pleasing and fawning and mirroring everyone around them#and then i get lonelier and more isolated and nothing really changes. but every time i try to crack open the shell a little it goes badly#like i genuinely dont think its my paranoia. i think it is not Safe for Me to exist properly.#i am too sensitive probably! but it does very much feel like a raw wound that peope jab aggressively at when i open up a little!#boy howdy i sound like such a wuss. i mean i probably am one fjfkdl#i just feel like I keep trying to fix things and improve and try new things and nothing ever really works well#my counsellors have always commented on how impressed they are at my willingness to try things#and its like ?? yeah ! ofc i am going to try things! maybe that will be smth that finally helps!
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sleepy-stitches · 5 months
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my brain is so evil. why do i have no energy to clean my room. why does it all go to writing weird fucked up yuri. like why am i sitting here enraptured heart and soul by a piece of writing that was meant to be a fragment at best but i am discovering has three entire parts to it. why is that where we are at. i need to clean my fucking room
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appleonjust-ice · 4 months
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assorted dunmeshis‼️‼️💥
(closeups under cut)
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my fic: so here are 7 logistical holes you still need to write solutions for/yourself out of me: how about i add 100 more words to the internal monologue of yaz losing her mind instead
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the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.
he never was.
#ramblings#incoherent beyond belief its 4 am#and im trying to avoid manga spoilers#might add a reblog with more coherent thoughts when i wake up but im off my meds so i cant promise anything#actually correction im being vague w the manga spoilers#manga readers know whats up#idk if there are any anime only ppl who havent been spoiled on The Plottwist Ever yet#but i figured there will be new fans and though im not tagging this it might still get seen so#cant WAIT to see our boy absolutely miserable in animation form should they recreate that arc LMAOOO#which ofc is after the germany arc so thats still a long time away#but STILL. itd be fun i need to see this young teenager lose his mind in color with sound#him relying on sebastian to do all his fag duties (sorry. dredge) so he can work his way up the social ladder#trying to gain power while simultaneously proving that he cant do anything but rely on others#hes always needed help in basically every way and he hasnt CHANGED he just got a demon to do it for him#he learns to lie and charm and cheat and all the while hes a fucking CHILD WHO STILL STRUGGLES WITH NORMAL THINGS#ciel is my little baby and i love him deeply no matter how much of a little bitch he can be#his helplessness isnt just 'oh he was raised in british high society' its also that he never got the chance to learn anything#which to elaborate on that id also have to go into manga territory. iykyk#like absolutely at this point he just refuses to learn how to do things he has a pet demon to do it for him#but.#hi the phantomhives backstory is killing me again its so late#both atlantic and the school arc are just setup for the Big Arc but theyre very good in their own right i SWEAR#also when i rewatched the circus arc a while back and i realised how some scenes were shot#the heavy foreshadowing that i didnt realise. yk. 7 years ago or however long its been since i first watched it#CRAZY#if you are new. to kuroshitsuji. and you havent read the manga. dear god. read the manga#ALSO GRELLE IN THAT ARC IS SO BEAUTIFUL & OTHELLO IS TRANSMASCULINE. OKAY GOODBYE
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bedforddanes75 · 2 months
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i reblog one Weird looking post and all of a sudden im getting recommended ed blogs FUCK OFF
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dandyshucks · 4 months
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i want to rb everyones art that i missed while i was away but every time i go to do so or just try to make any post here in general i start feeling like i'm really irritating to everyone or doing smth wrong so i get scared and delete the draft fsdjkl
i love everyones art that i've seen though and im sure i will love the art i have yet to see, and eventually once i manage to fix my brain then i will make sure i rb and throw confetti on everyones art !!!! you are all genuinely such cool people and i love seeing everybody's posts and creations :]
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snekdood · 3 days
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i dont think I should have to explain how it's fucked up to tell someone with bpd, someone with an already unstable sense of self, that they're not themself and try to insist you're them instead. I feel like that's pretty self explanatory actually
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