#however if this is what it takes for my insurance to approve me for the other apparently better meds……. I can deal lol

[puhpink]

I am an American

Trump has won the 2024 election: so what now? It's not over until we say it is. We're not going back. Like all presidents, Trump is not god. It is time to begin fighting. Project 2025 is real and it is on the horizon, but I'll be damned before I allow my country to be ripped from me.

I am more American than Trump will ever be. In my viens are the calloused hands of my ancestors who fed America. In my blood are the memories of the people before the US. I'm more than Trump ever will be, and so are you.

Trump will not win the soul of America, and here's why: Missouri voters have written abortion rights into their state consitution, aiming to allow abortion up until viability. Many may remember that Missouri had given their electoral votes to Trump: it is important to remember that not all those who voted for Trump agree with all his policies. As KOMU news reports, even religious organizations have voted on Amendment 3, to protect the freedoms of Missouri voters. (Click here to read more, it's really fascinating!) Arizona passed Prop. 139, which enshired abortion rights until viability, rewritting the previous 15 week abortion ban that was in place after the overturning of Roe v Wade. The proposition offers an amendment to Arizona's state consitution protecting the rights to abortion, after the efforts and shared expirences of many hard-working women. (Click here to read more, Ashley Ortiz's shared expirence was heartbreaking.) New York has voted to place Equal Rights within their consitution as well: updating language to possibly include protections for transgender women and minors looking for gender affirming care without parental approval. It also explictly protects abortion rights, stating that pregnancy and pregnancy outcomes cannot be discriminated against. (Click here to read more, though, it doesn't go as far in depth as other articles.) Colorado has passed Amendment 79, which not only strengthens abortion rights, but allows for public spending to be spent on abortion medical costs. This means that Medicaid and government insurances will be able to pay for abortions. (Click here to read more, which includes a brief history of abortion in Colorado.) Montana voters approved a ballot to change the state's consitution to protect and uphold abortion laws, no matter what changes the state's future governments may want to enshrine. This does only hold until viability, however. (Click here to read more, which includes a link to an article that gives information on other states that included abortion right on their ballots.) All is not lost. They cannot get rid of us. Be loud, be angry, do not sit by and despair. This is our fucking country, and they cannot and will not take that away from us.

[white-weasel]

Going back to your shitty ex except it’s your old prescription meds you already know don’t work

[urie]

my sister would have wanted me to politicize her death so that is exactly what i will do here.

on december 28th, my sister went to the hospital due to severe abdominal pain that she attributed to a UTI. they did a CT scan and found a 14cm tumor. they diagnosed her with stage 4 ovarian cancer and told her to start seeing specialists. for reasons unbeknownst to me, they didn't do a biopsy, or even attempt to schedule one for her, and she went home.

she spent the next 5 weeks being turned in circles by various specialists. the first oncologist told her that she would be fine, that she was young (only 42) and otherwise healthy, and she "wasn't going anywhere anytime soon." however, she could not afford the biopsy that was needed at the time, because she didn't have insurance. the out of pocket cost was too high, and there wasn't an option to be billed later.

these oncologists told her that her best bet was to quit her job and apply for medicaid in order to receive care, but my sister was a normal everyday person living paycheck to paycheck, and that was an impossible request. even if she did quit her job, she would still need to wait to be approved by medicaid.

she called my father on friday, in tears because she was just told by the hospital that she needed to come up with $800 upfront for a PET scan, a 20% downpayment. he had to scrounge up the money to pay for the scan himself.

on monday morning, she woke up with abdominal pain, vomiting, and loss of bowel control. she decided to stay home from work, something she never did, and her roommate offered to stay home with her in order to look after her.

her response: "no, we can't afford for both of us to miss work. i'll just take a shower and go back to sleep."

he came home and she was dead. 5 weeks after diagnosis. she was told she had years but she had a matter of days.

this was her final post on facebook, 2 days before she died. this is literally just the reality of how healthcare works in this country. and she'd want people to know that.

she was a good person doing what was expected of her, she was proactive and aggressive trying to get care, and this is what happened to her. no one gave her care, or tried to help her understand her diagnosis. they just would pat her on the back and say she was going to be fine, without knowing anything, and while refusing to find out.

[alchemie-tarot]

Material Blessings

Hello! Long time, no pick-a-card. The Universe has sent me a few things to deal with since my last post, lessons and blessings alike. My creative energy is having a new life and I just want to do it for myself and share it with the world. Yes, that includes sharing more of my photography from past travels.

I meant to post this during my bias season, Taurus, but I have been taking it easy with my body, and trusting the timing with it. This pick-a-card is also shorter than my previous ones.

Anyway. Welcome back. You know the drill: Take a breath. Feel free to choose the pile or piles that call out to you. Some details may not feel like it’s for you and that’s because it isn’t, it’s alright, since this is a general reading. Please don’t take it too seriously as well. Nothing is set in stone. 

Pile 1

Cards: 4 of Cups, 10 of Swords (I had a bit of a mind exercise with this message.)

Your material blessing is something that you will receive, but its purpose is to make you realize that something you already have may have been taken for granted. I see that it’s something shiny to you, “a shiny toy,” whether it’s figurative or literal. It may be something that is a bit of a flex somehow. It may also remind you of something that you wanted in the past, maybe as a child, but couldn’t attain then. It will give you that mood boost and yes, you will enjoy it for a time. But, ultimately, you will find that it does not go as deep as you thought it would.

If you feel like something that you have previously enjoyed is losing its luster, even if it has been in your life for a long time, maybe that is a message for you. Is it really rooted in sentimental value, or is it from a fear of lack?

Eventually declining something that is coming your way may sound counterintuitive for a reading about material blessings. But, heed detached feelings and they will remind you of what really matters. Let go of what has served its purpose in your life, especially if they have pointed out what gives you long-term value. Be true to your principles, that you won’t spend your energy on things not aligned with you. Remember that “all that glitters is not gold.”

Pile 2

Cards: 2 of Wands, King of Swords

A business opportunity, specifically a trip to somewhere. A ticket. Could also be a gift coming from a far place. A box of fruits or wine, specifically, for a few. An invitation to a party, again, for a few. For the majority, travel is really emphasized.

It was 2:22 PM when I was interpreting these cards, and this is the 2nd Pile, and this pile has the 2 of Wands. Amazing. You may be getting two things. A double of something, or some combination of the ones I mentioned.

Whatever you will be receiving will grant you access to something exclusive. Opened doors that will basically, I believe, reconcile two separate aspects of your life (your career and family life, for example). They can be anything. Not only will you be let through these gates, but you will be given the keys to hold them.

You need more structure for this material blessing coming to you. To do that, your guides advise you to lean into your duality. Practice and get good at multitasking. You may have to hold two different things that require a ton of responsibility. Do not waver or be intimidated, however. You are chosen because you are wholly capable of doing this. Self-discipline and judgment are your friends.

Pile 3

Cards: 8 of Wands, 7 of Swords

You are about to get news about something pending. Since this is a material blessing, it is about finances, for the majority. A letter, the approval of a loan, insurance, came at the top of my head. Especially if it is something that you have wanted to do for a while, or have been waiting a long time for. Something that will solve your problems.

For some, this is something that you will gain as a reward for being resourceful. It could be an inheritance, or it simply was someone else’s previously. A specific image for a few, but it is something colorful and could appeal to your creativity or inner child.

Once you receive this blessing, you are advised to gather all your smarts in order to make sure it doesn’t slip from your hands. Don’t get complacent. Make a full-proof strategy for this. Bend the rules when you can. Don’t let yourself be distracted by schemes and excuses to use this for a purpose other than its original one, or somehow turn this into something it is not. Be careful not to give in to greed.

Pile 4

Cards: Wheel of Fortune, Page of Coins

A very unexpected gift, perhaps a long overdue one for something good that you have done in the past, that you may not even recall. A big reward for a big risk you took. Something you worked diligently and pushed the limits for, used your creativity and resourcefulness for, everything. And it comes with a bow on top. For a few, it’s something sweet, could be a food treat? This gift translates into some kind of knowledge that not only benefits you, but a lot of other people as well, a community. This gift will start up a web of connections that root from you.

This is not something everybody comes along often. Set tangible goals to ground this. Lead by example and hope, I’m hearing. Your success has a direct effect on the sacrifices and mindsets of this community looking up to you. You will definitely lift them up in some way, perhaps through a gathering. Maybe you will host a party, or a kind of workshop.

Share these blessings of yours, but not at the expense of yourself. The moment you feel that something is amiss, you must withdraw accordingly, and you are encouraged not to feel bad for that. Boundaries must be established and respected.

Thank you for gracing my post with your presence and thoughts. Take care and be happy!

[hangesdarling]

before i let you go — h. zoë

PAIRING. Hange Zoë x fem!reader SYNOPSIS. You see your lover for one last time before being betrothed to a man you don't love. CONTENT. arranged marriage, implied abuse, unwanted pregnancy, cheating, angst, implied sex, pain, me putting unnecessary symbolisms WORD COUNT. 1.9k A/N. I miss Hange sm it hurts. I miss their love and now I know no one can give me the same feeling as they are. I regret thinking I'd be happy with someone else. ANYWAYS IM BACK. IDK HOW LONG BUT I MISS HANGE SM 😭 please bear with my shitty writing, i haven't written in three months 😭

Staring at your wedding dress, you should have felt excitement and anticipation of the comfort the future holds. Of being a wife and a mother. It was what the women around you taught you should become. However, the longer you stare at your wedding dress, the more your vision seems to blur. Suddenly, the floral walls of the new home where you sat seem to melt, pouring like wax into the polished floor. The birds sing outside in the warm morning as your world crumbles. In a fortnight, you will lose your last name, your life, and your most beloved. 

Your fingers clutched a nearly crumpled letter, the rim of your eyes hot with unspilled tears. Gently, you smoothened the letter in your hands, reading the words scrawled for what seemed to be the hundredth time. It read:

Let's meet again for one last time. — H

Hange. 

A whisper left your mouth as if saying it louder will draw attention. It was freeing to utter their name again. Hange. Your beloved. The one you'll be leaving behind in a fortnight. 

-

Marriage has always been a necessary insurance your family knew of. You grew up surrounded by mothers and wives telling you about security and eventualities alleviated by finding a man to marry. Usually, it will be someone from the Military Police, or a merchant. The more they tell their stories, the more their romance sounds like tragedy in your ears.  A tragedy that doesn't kill you but wears you away and diverts you from loneliness by having responsibilities. You're happy. You should be happy to be with a stable man, picked and approved by your parents. He will give you everything, money, and misery. Maybe you'll have enough time to learn how to love him when you don’t have to worry about money. 

However, all life has offered you so far is sadness and a growing human inside of you. It was too premature to stir yet its presence pervades your whole being, floating on the surface of your mind. The child belongs more to your fiancé’s than yours. After all, it was a product of trying to claim you, of him knowing that your heart belongs to someone else. He can do nothing about your heart so he planted something of his own inside you thus ensuring you'd stay. It hurts to think, it hurts to remember. You threw a shoal over your head and wished for any thought other than what you currently have. You just hoped that the brown of your child's eyes would be more like Hange's than its father's. 

-

You crossed over a green field overlooking a meadow littered with pink and oranges, sometimes, red flowers. The beauty of spring. The grass dancing around your ankles. It reminds you of the beautiful springs you spent here, something you need to leave behind too. 

Your footsteps grew light and slow as you reached Hange’s doorstep. Before you even knock, all you want to say is a thousand apologies for many things it'd take you ages to name. But the moment Hange saw you, there was no bitterness in their face but longing. They held you in a tight, wordless embrace. Their arms and hands spoke of how much they had longed to see you again. At that moment, you held them just as tight. You expected anger and bitterness from them. They've loved you for many years only for you to come one day at their doorstep pregnant and to be married to someone else. Their anger would have comforted you because that's what you think you deserve at every waking moment. And you felt more terrible knowing that they still care after all the pain you've caused them.

It wasn’t right.

"I'm sorry," you managed to say. No amount of apologies will take back all that hurt.

Hange didn't say a word and only pulled you inside where it was warmer. Your knees weakened, you wanted to kneel in front of them and apologize again. Your guilt was too overpowering that it didn't feel right for you to stand on the same level as they are. But as crippling as you felt, they still held you in their arms, you let them touch you the way they always used to. It felt selfish getting comforted by someone you hurt and yet you found yourself in their bed again. 

Your lips found theirs, your hands holding them like they'd slip away any second. A cry bubbled from your lips from how much hunger and yearning you felt for them the time you were apart. You wanted to erase all the traces of touch imprinted on your body that weren't from their hands. You longed for the time you were theirs and no one else's. How come it went to a time where only your love belongs to them? 

"You got here without trouble, right?" Hange asked as they pressed a kiss on your neck. You got what they meant and nodded. None of the people working for your fiancé followed or noticed you or so you hoped. 

"That's good," Hange tucked a stray hair from your face. The pain and longing shone through their eyes. "I miss you."

I'm sorry.

All you wanted was to apologize, the heavy burden in your heart remained knocking and present every time you looked at Hange. 

"I miss you too," you managed to say without crying. All the happiness that breathed life into your existence remained frozen in the past. It hurts to think that the traces of that life will vanish the moment you step out of their house. Why does your last happiness remain in a fleeting present? Gone in a blow of a wind? 

You cherished each touch, each kiss that made you shudder in the sheets. Only Hange loved you despite the way you want to crawl from your skin, to love even the parts of you you're too ashamed to acknowledge. 

Take me back. Take me back to what we used to be, you cried, your soul wailed. 

You held Hange close, blankets thrown over your bodies. You gazed around the room, capturing the place in your memory. Their rustic furniture, papers, and books were all over their desk, both your clothes were strewn on the floor, and a purple flower sat at their bedside table. You took Hange's glasses from beside the vase and gently wiped the lenses with the blanket. 

"You never clean your glasses," you said. 

"You always notice when they're dirty," Hange smiled. "And overclean them."

Hange noticed your smile, not loaded with grief for once. Just like the old times. 

"I wish I could always clean them for you," you muttered, checking both lenses again before putting it back near the vase. 

Hange chuckled, a smile crossing their lips as they paused. A contemplative, almost painful pause. Their momentary silence retrieved your attention. 

"Only if we can run away. Outside those walls and perhaps, beyond that. You can stare at flowers all day and I get to stare at you."

Their laugh sounded pained as if the happiness that should come with it got stuck in their throat. 

Hange shook their head.

"What am I even saying?" Their smile remained wistful. "You'd be a lot better back there. With a family, with kids. You told me once you want a kid. And a flower shop."

Their smile grew, remembering you tending to their garden. Or how they grew your favorite flowers but never admitted so. 

"You said you're opening a flower shop. How is it going?" Hange asked, the painful stirrings on their insides were masked by curiosity. 

You're finding an answer somewhere in your head. But the few words you found phased out of your mind the moment you look into their eyes. Their soft, warm brown eyes gazed at you with pure, pained love. You hid in their chest, trying to bottle the tears like you used to. But the heaves and sobs came and only grew louder the moment Hange held you to face them. 

"Y/N..." they muttered, wiping your tears the way they used to. They kissed you and rubbed your back to soothe you. That's all they can do despite their wishes to be more. They cannot stop time or slow it down nor they can shape both your circumstances. 

"I want to be with you," you sobbed. "I love you and your little experiments. I love picking flowers in a field on a Sunday morning while you read books or pick insects to show me." 

Your words gushed and spilled, the truth you wanted to deny yourself overcoming you. 

"I love it when we try to eat what's left of your burnt pancakes while overseeing your garden. I love the flowers you grow for me. I love the times we sneak out like teenagers so my parents won't see us," you sobbed uncontrollably, your tears spilling past your lips as you spoke. "I love waking up next to you in the morning. And when you come home safe to me after every expedition. I love that you still care for me even when we had fights, even when I complied with that marriage, even when I'll be married to someone else."

Hange listened, their hand gently stroking your hair. 

"And I hate that nothing good lasts forever because something at least should. You were my happiest infinity and yet I left you. What will I merit from a life of temporary comfort when my happiness resides with you?" 

Hange wanted to comfort you but didn't know the right words to appease the hurt housed deep inside you. You were still the same girl they loved, the girl who dreamed of a quiet life with them. 

"I'm sorry," you sobbed finally, uselessly wiping your tears. "I'm sorry you loved me."

"I don't regret that," Hange muttered with a kiss on your forehead. 

"But I do," you told them. "You’re better off with someone else.”

They sighed, enclosing you tighter in their arms. 

"I'm happy about what we had," they smiled. You can feel their voice right at your ear as you press your head against their chest. Something you've taken for granted for many years. "I know it feels miserable for us now. But it won't always be. That, at least, is comforting, isn't it? I'll be okay, knowing that you'll be happy eventually."

"I won't be," you cried. 

"Then come back to me when that time comes." Hange knew it was a bold thing to say. They can't visualize a place where you'd be happy together without someone or something trying to break it apart. But they had to try. If they can battle the uncertainty residing outside the walls of Eldia, maybe they can do the same for the relationship they hold dear. 

"I will," you answered. It was equally bold as their proclamation. You wonder if those promises will ever lose meaning. If coming back to your most beloved is even an option at all. Even temporarily, the hurt waned from your heart and was painted over by an irresolute hope. You pressed closer to their heart and said, "I'll see you again."

-

The sun filtered through the pink curtains, shining a warm hue against the sheets. You trimmed the flowers sitting by the window, the white petals complementing the purity of their surroundings along the floral patterns on the walls. You are in your new home. A place you should teach yourself how to love despite the affliction laced with every item. 

Your musings were cut short as you noticed a new paper on your desk. It was a fresh sheet folded in two, the embeddings faintly showing through the back. You didn’t need to open it to know who it came from. As you sit down to open the letter, you realize that the floral patterns on your walls are pink lilies of the valley. 

likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated, sweethearts <3

[call-me-strega]

How to Become a Step-Dad: Lore

Edited: 10/16/2023

While I am currently in between writing chapters I thought I’d release a little bit of the lore that will be incorporated in the story or that I think is canon but might not get mentioned since the story is mostly Jason’s perspective.

What’s up with Jason?

So in this au Jason went through basically all his canon backstory and stuff already so that’s established and done with. Some smaller points that may or may not come up are things like his possession of the all-blades, his time on Nanda Parbat, Talia essentially adopting him, or his experience being Catatonic. Speaking of which, I have decided his resurrection came from his righteous anger combining with the ectoplasm in Gotham’s atmosphere, and he is essentially a revenant for the purposes of this story (he’s about a fourth ghost? Or maybe 3/4ths? 3/5ths? Idk yet).

He does already have a reputation in the Infinite Realms as “The Avenger” and “Son/Knight of Gotham” due both to the existence of city spirit Lady Gotham and the ghosts of people who’ve died in Gotham. He actually has a rabid fan club who want him to kill the Joker( if he became a ghost he’d be tried and banished to the nightmare realm).

I am also going to use “the pits are corrupted ectoplasm” trope in the story. However, they’re gonna be corrupted less in the sense of being straight-up poison and more in the sense of eating a weird mushroom with weird side effects (rage, slightly sentient/vocal core, white trauma streak)

As for his relationship with the Bat Family, we’ve moved to a point where everyone’s more or less made up. For Jason and Bruce specifically, they are now more civil. Their relationship is less “ What you’re doing is wrong and you have to stop.” vs “ I’m just doing what you won’t” and now it’s more “ I don’t fully approve of your decisions, but as long as you’re not killing people and coming home for dinner, I don’t care enough to nag you about it” vs “ You’re my dad and I love you. Plus actively killing people is no longer super necessary so I will give in but I still enjoy pissing you off”.

In terms of sibling relationships, Jason has like the cool older brother vibe but he’s actually the semi-responsible one that feeds you when you come over and makes you do homework and sleep properly. He’s still down for shenanigans but is low-key a mom friend. (Dick is not the “responsible one” he is a certified chaos gremlin. Not to say he can’t be responsible, he’s just not the one enforcing these things. He cares more about your social, emotional, and/or, mental state and would help you skip school to steal a penguin or go to ComiCon or smth if you said it was a “mental health day”). I think he has semi-regular hangouts with his siblings on a weekly basis.

I like to think that he and Damien did have a bit of interaction when they were both with the League so they do have a close bond there. He’s definitely apologized to Tim a bunch of times and they’re pretty close now they like scheming together, especially on how to annoy Bruce. Overall he’s largely made up and re-integrated with the family. It’s going to be mentioned later in the story that they resurrected his civilian identity as Jason Todd, so he can publicly be seen with his family and also to do work with the family.

This brings me to my next point of lore: that as Jason gains more control of Crime Alley, he focuses his efforts more into charity work. He’s helping the people get their education, get better access to healthcare, get better job opportunities, running soup kitchens, etc., and doing more humanitarian-focused work. He has got a pretty firm grip on crime and drugs so he’s shifting his focus more towards helping the people now. Even just being part of his gang can be helpful because he works with the Goonion (Goon Union) and offers good insurance plans and stuff. That’s part of the reason they resurrect his civilian identity is so that he can start working with/taking over the Wayne foundation.

What’s up with Danny and Ellie?

Okay so first things first in the story Danny is going to be the ghost prince (not king yet for a long while) and he acts as a junior member on the Council of Ancients who rule with Clockwork acting as his main regent. Meaning that Council + Danny make decisions and Clockwork is Danny’s ghost dad and is formal regent but mostly just handles things with help from the council. Essentially, after at least a couple thousand years Danny will be considered “of age” or eligible and take over the Infinite Realms; and after several billion he’ll become the ancient of space/reality and essentially become a god or primordial being of sorts. Also being of age is different than being an adult ghost. To be an adult ghost you need to have been a ghost for at least 20 years after your lifetime, unless you’re an eternal kid ghost like Youngblood or BoxLunch. So ghosts like Technus, the Box Ghost, and Lunch Lady are all adult ghosts. Whereas ghosts like Johnny 13, Kitty and maybe Ember either aren’t yet adult ghosts or became adult ghosts recently. Ellie ranks as princess and second-in-line, she’ll go through a similar process and eventually join the Council, become a diplomat, and/or rule as regent if/when Danny leaves the Ghost Zone. I’m gonna say all other afterlife’s and stuff are connected to the Zone and their respective leaders make up Phantom’s Court. (So basically he’s king and they are like the nobles). They all govern their own territories and Phantom handles any rouges or conflicts. When Ellie gets older she’ll move between realms on diplomatic missions to lighten some of Danny’s work. I haven’t decided what this means for anyone who is currently mortal and/or liminal. I might just have them live, fulfilling lives and pass away and move on to different afterlives. Or I might have them take places within the Phantom’s court or as advisors. And on the topic: Jazz, the Fenton parents, Sam, and Tucker are all fairly liminal, Jazz and the Dr.s Fenton a bit more than the other two. Everyone in Amity has a little bit of liminality, but not enough to affect their life spans or anything. Also, Vlad is still currently his usual, creepy, Frootloopy-self. But after screwing him over in this fic eventually, I want to have him arrested by the ghost police and spend several thousand years in ghost prison before he gets let out. Then he works on improving his relationships and post-redemption he’s going to be like that annoying, overbearing Uncle who tries to be cool and annoys you but ya don’t hate him. Another thing I wanted to go over is their obsessions. I wanna say the halfas all have dual obsessions bc it fits nicely with the half-and-half concept. Danny is protection and space. Ellie is freedom and family. Vlad is power and love. If I include Dark Danny he’ll be power and destruction and a reformed version would have control and safety.

As for his rouge gallery? Danny is able to help them find healthier outlets for their obsessions so they've become less of an issue. Now they kind of just act like Danny's annoying friends and/or extended family. The ones who were straight-up evil though are on indefinite time out in ghost prison though (e.g. Spectra and Freakshow). The gang still comes to visit him and Ellie from time to time though and he regularly sees them when he goes back to the realms for prince duties and stuff.

What’s up with Amity?

So after he turns 18, Danny decides to tell his parents about being Phantom. He’s legally an adult now and has been working toward getting emancipated anyways so he might as well. They took it like how I imagine slightly homophobic parents would react to learning their child was lgbt (side note: the Fentons are pro-lgbt. When Danny told them he was bi Jack said “Me too son!”, happy to have something to bond over). He tells them about the portal and becoming Phantom. They believe him and they are devastated and guilty.

In the next few weeks, they get into a couple arguments over them wanting to “fix” his ghost half. He blows up and tells them that by doing that they’d end up killing him and that Phantom is a part of who he is and they’ll just have to accept that. That night Danny leaves and with help from Sam stays in an apartment with Jazz near her college. He takes a two-year gap to get a handle of Infinite Realms and GIW stuff, plus doing a few small jobs to save up some money. Within that time the GIW gets taken down and the Fentons reach out bc their love for their children is stronger than their dislike of ghosts. Their relationship is still strained but getting better.

Dani also gets de-aged during that time and Danny decides to take care of her (partly for healing purposes and partly cause he wants to). His friends help forge documentation for her and he fights with Vlad over custody but ultimately wins and makes him pay child support. He’s saved up enough money and with a little help from Sam and Vlad gets an apartment in Gotham. He got a scholarship and is doing mostly online classes at Gotham University. He’s currently working part-time (I have not decided as what but I’m leaning toward mechanic). Vlad paid to have him enroll Ellie in Gotham Academy so she wouldn’t have to go to public school and Danny allowed it since it’d get her a better education. Ellie is going to start first grade in about 3 months since they moved to Gotham in June. (Just for reference, Damian is currently 12 and in seventh grade since I've decided not to move him up.)

Everyone in Amity knows about the discord between the Fenton's before Danny leaves. They don't necessarily know about Phantom though. Everyone kind of assumes Danny came out, fought with his parents then left. When some of them find out about Ellie another rumor circulates she was the topic of the fight. Regardless, the Fenton drama is kinda an open secret and most people sympathize with Danny. Whenever he comes back to town to visit a lot of people are really nice to him and Ellie, which he thought was weird until he learned what people thought was going on. Now he just takes advantage of their misunderstandings.

What's up with the GIW?

The GIW manages to get a hold of Ellie after Danny leaves Amity. When Vlad and Danny +Team Phantom find out they team up to rescue her. Danny also recruits people that he's met during his time away. For this mission, he recruits Constantine and Captain Marvel/Shazam. When the Fentons find out they want in too, almost as an apology gesture. They no longer want to try and "fix" Danny and are okay with Ellie's existence. They view her like family and want to help out. A lot of their views are still prejudiced but they're getting better, however, that's not the only thing straining their relationship. This is a step in the right direction though.

So they go in and infiltrate first in order to get Ellie out. Then they destroy the facilities behind them as they leave. Constantine and Captain Marvel then go back to the JL to work on getting to Anti-Ecto Acts repealed, something that is still in progress during the beginning of this fic. That's why they are gonna lay low while they’re in Gotham. The GIW attempted to experiment on Ellie while they had her but the containment unit they used destabilized her ectoplasm. She retains all her memory but is mentally and physically de-aged. Frostbite assesses her and says she needs to get extra ecto and to be near another halfa aura to help develop and stabilize her own systems. That leads to Vlad and Danny fighting over custody before Danny inevitably beats Vlad into the ground and walks away with custody and child support.

I think a full reveal about identities will happen after Danny gets confirmation that his existence is no longer illegal. It'll probably be after Jason asks him out but before he accepts because he wants Jason to know what he's getting into. Jason will probably be shocked but accept it relatively quickly. I haven't decided yet if I want him to live a mortal life with them and then die (either to move on or become a full ghost) or if I want him to be basically immortal like them and give him a position in the court.

~~~~ Find chapter one here

Chapter 2 now here

[paulyollyoxxenfree]

So hey…… what’s up…..

Hell, I don’t even know if I have any followers, I honestly think my tumblr fell to the bots a long time ago, but I have to give it a try, even if I’m just screaming out into the void, it’s better than just sitting here and doing nothing, cause that’s not really getting me anywhere.

Things have been going down hill fast for me it seems, and it feels like a roller coaster I didn’t sign up for, cause I hate roller coasters.

I’ve struggled with various respiratory issues my whole life and being Mexican, well, we fixed them however we could, ER visits when we could afford them, vaporub, praying, sana sana colita de rana, I made it to 42! And all of a sudden, my asthma is killing my lungs and now they think it might be COPD, I was supposed to see a pulmonologist in May but I had to quit my job cause they put me on oxygen and I couldn’t afford the visit, then my inhaler was $500 cause I didn’t have insurance, so I tried to stretch the one I had. My Doctor sat me down and told me I could have died. Then she paid for my inhaler out of her own pocket and made me cry.

I applied for disability in February….. it’s September, I just heard back, they need more proof so they have me doing all sorts of stuff, an xray being one of them. They take a picture of my lungs, they find out while they are there that my spine is DEGENERATING……. MY SPINE….. so that’s why I walk funny and it hurts to stand more than 5 minutes? Yes. And it’s gonna get worse. Sorry. Oh. Ok.

So now they want me to do physical therapy. But I still don’t have insurance, or a job cause, ya know, I can’t breathe, I’m on oxygen, and I can’t stand or walk right. Oh ok, guess we can just give you some pain killers, they will make you sleepy though so that won’t help with work either. Also, disability still doesn’t believe you so let’s do more tests.

So I can’t get a job, I’m walking with a cane, I need a rollator walker but I can’t afford one, I have medication right now, but I dunno if I will afford it once it runs out, I’ve done my disability determination appointment and have one more appointment with the pulmonologist before they can tell me if I’m approved for disability (trying to manifest a yes) I am however told my odds are slim and I should find a lawyer, my oxygen is $140 a month and another bill on top of everything else. I have cried more than I care to think about this month alone and it’s only the 8th.

At least it’s fall.

Please donate if you are so inclined. I won’t ask for the moon or stars. I just want to have a Pumpkin Spice, maybe a scone. I just need some hope.

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[bebsibby]

The Top Surgery Log

Hello! I got top surgery yesterday! I want to catalogue my experience so I can remember it and provide some insight for people who want it but haven't gotten it yet. I will continue to update this post as my healing goes on. Everything under the read more!

Leading Up

My insurance is with Kaiser which has been an AWESOME experience so far. They do require a therapist letter, so no informed consent, but the process was very simple and there were a lot of people dedicated to getting me what I needed.

I had about 3 therapist meetings where she just asked me questions about my experience with gender and how my transition has gone so far, my support network, can I afford it, etc. Then she wrote my letter, sent it off to the surgical team, and I was approved within a few days!

After that I had my very first consult with the surgeon. He took pictures, did a breast exam, asked about general health and family health history, then gave me a little presentation of the process. It had post up photos of prior patients, a lot of explanations of the types of surgeries available that he does, and a lot of good information in general. He answered a lot of my questions and made me feel fully confident and prepared for the experience.

Also important to note: I told him the surgery I had been wanting ever since I started doing top surgery research was Inverted-T and I was curious of he knew of it/why that WASN'T an option they offered. He explained everything to me and showed me what he expected my results to look like if I DID want to go to a different surgeon outside of Kaiser. Said surgeon does NOT accept insurance, but would work with the insurance side of things to make sure they would reimburse for the expenses. I really appreciate that because it showed me they wanted to do get exactly what I wanted.

Based on all of that, I decided to just opt for Double Incision both to save me time and get a result that was aesthetically more pleasing to me. Loss of nipple sensation is unfortunate, but apparently IT only has the potential to bring a little sensation back, which wasn't worth all the extra hoop jumping for me.

After this consult, my surgeon told me to think about everything then email him a few days later with my decision. I did and then a few days later got my call to schedule. I got to pick my date but not the time of day, as I would later learn that's decided by the hospital and not me. Once my surgery was scheduled, another pre-op appointment was scheduled about a month before the surgery date. That appointment was very short, as it was just signing consent forms and confirming everything I wanted. He also gave me a packet of supplies I needed to get before the surgery.

After that, I'd occasionally receive emails with more pre-op instructions, like when to stop eating and drinking, showering instructions, when to stop certain medication, and how to care for my drains.

The Surgery

The day before surgery I had initially planned to do all of the last minute housework and leave for the surgery the next morning. HOWEVER, when I got my call to tell me the time, it turns I had to be there by 6 AM! The surgery center is over an hour away from me and the bus my wife and I were going to take didn't run that early, so we had to scramble to make other plans. Luckily the friend who was going to drive us back home was cool with us crashing on his floor for the night, so we were able to do the most important things at home then take the bus down the day before.

Once we were all set up for the night, I did the first cleaning routine that I was required to do, set my alarm, then tried to sleep. I didn't get much due to Hard Floor and also excited but that wasn't a biggie because I'd be sleeping again soon LOL.

Next morning I woke up, did my second skin cleansing, and we headed out! I checked in, waited a little in the waiting room, then got called back to start.

Everyone who was working with me was SUPER funny and kind. I got asked more questions, signed another form, took some pre-med tylenol, them stripped to switch into my gown, bonnet, and grippy socks (Got to keep those btw :>) My IV got put in my wrist which REALLY fucking hurt!!!!!! It never stopped aching. After that, the surgeon popped in to check on me and see if I had any questions, then they wheeled me in to the operating room.

I had gotten another premed via IV that was already making me tired, and I remember the last thing being the surgeon saying what to do with my removed tissue once he was done and I was gone!

The surgery itself lasted around four hours, but all I remember is waking up and seeing my wife and friend sitting at the foot of the bed. I said hi to them and that was apparently third time I had said it. I had been up and talking to them for awhile all loopy but also becoming suddenly very serious when talking with the nurses. I've had a few surgeries but I've NEVER been this way after so that was funny. The nurse had also been giving ME all of the postop discharge info and I don't remember it so thats unfortunate! I only remember her talking about the drains. I had to read it all again when I got home but it was all good.

Once I was awake enough, they wheel-chaired me down to my friends car, packed us all up and we headed back home. I napped about half the time but still kept my eyes closed when i was awake and talking bc my vision was still FUCKED and it was so bright out. We got home, I was lead inside, and that was that pretty much! I napped several more times, nibbled on some roast beef, emptied my drains (which made me very woozy, mostly due to the standing) and went to bed!

After Surgery

Day one! I woke up a few times in the night mainly to go to the bathroom, but slept REAL deep otherwise. It rained all night which was awesome. I woke up feeling very achy but not painful except for my throat. Those ET tubes are NOT easy on your body. Took all my meds, got out of bed eventually, and had cup ramen for breakfast. Now I'm just sitting on the couch with all my computer stuff moved from my desk to where I'm sitting. I got a long hdmi cable so I can just watch stuff on the big TV so I'm pretty set up!

My wife just brought me some cookies and overall I'm just feeling really good. Not really excited or emotional about it. Its just a very warm contented feeling.

I don't know what my chest looks like yet since my post-op binder got put on while i was still out, but everything gets removed next week! I'll probably update again after that appointment.

Feel free to ask specific questions! I'll be resting most of the time so I'll just be around!

[vivacissimx]

roose bolton as a father figure to theon

the theon's disturbing relationship to paternalism beam is still shining bright. obviously the ned and balon and balon and ned Thing is happening but if we are going to embrace the horror of ADWD, let's lean all the way in.

the role of the father is molded as such to manufacture obedience from his children—generally speaking but also daughters in a specific way, sons in a specific way. filial duty is considered a virtue in westerosi society (even when your father fails to be virtuous himself) and it's the mode by which the father holds power over his children when they come of age. the father reproduces himself by claiming a son under his name & castle, the father reproduces his values by shaping behavior, the father punishes unsanctioned behavior not (merely) by criticizing the contents of the actions of the son, but by virtue of it being disobedient i.e. obedience to my instructions has within it an inherent Rightness / my instructions are Right because they are mine (circular i know!). this is probably doubled for those who follow the Faith of the Seven where the image of the father is a reflection of the Father aka disobedience flirts with blasphemy. sorry for the monologue—this is gonna be important later.

one of the reasons ned & balon come across as such supreme assholes in theon's ACOK storyline is because even outside the emotional reality of theon being a hostage from 10 years of age, he also pretty much does obey what they have to say. there is a time where he plays by their rules and they still don't approve of him or claim him fully. it's a social contract where ned and balon don't really fulfill their ends of the bargain, so it feels unfair. it feels willfully blind because ned and balon SURELY see the benefits they've accrued at theon's expense—ned lives in peacetime having experienced war, and balon keeps his life/lordship which if he were to have been executed for treason, would have all seemingly gone to a boy lord theon—yet they don't recognize the "theon's expense" part.

see how that works? "you are virtuous and right for following my commands" but theon follows their commands and doesn't get his Virtuous and Right headpats. and that rankles him deeply.

okay, now onto roose as theon's father figure in ADWD:

theon is part and parcel of roose's son ramsay. Reek belongs to Ramsay, and Ramsay belongs to Reek. in fact the original reek was a servant who roose gave to ramsay's mother as the first act of acknowledgement. it's through reek that ramsay became roose's bastard. we see that when roose demands ramsay give theon up (briefly), ramsay must oblige... hence, reek is still a form of reward/acknowledgement from roose to ramsay. theon is entangled in them and for roose to kill theon could very well be construed as killing off (ramsay as) his son

roose thanks theon for giving him the north via taking winterfell & (inadvertently) ruining robb's situation. roose is thanking theon for the ability to reproduce himself as lord of winterfell and warden of the north—a duty that a son owes his father

i wrote a post about theon's gender troubles that delves into his parallels with barbrey ryswell dustin—how roose treats them both with certain cares to insure their good behavior, and how they both see through the farce. however the difference in roose bolton's world of easy replacement (he replaces multiple wives, domeric with ramsay, reek with reek II) is that barbrey is warned of her fate via the example of bethany ryswell bolton, her sister and roose's dead wife, while theon is warned of his by the example of domeric bolton, roose's dead son.

barbrey steps into the role of domeric's caretaker and main maternal figure because her sister is dead. then ramsay kills domeric. roose allows it. barbrey puts it as: “The widow of Barrowton… and yes, if I so choose, I could be an inconvenience. Of course, Roose sees that too, so he takes care to keep me sweet.” sweet is not the best word for our barb but she plays along with roose's game despite there being no real endgame beyond a petty revenge against the starks. the writing is on the wall though. not to put too fine a point on it but: ramsay will kill any children walda frey has from roose, and barbrey will know precisely who did it

in theon's case, roose's manipulations go like this: “Serve us in this, and when Stannis is defeated we will discuss how best to restore you to your father’s seat,” his lordship had said in that soft voice of his, a voice made for lies and whispers. Theon never believed a word of it. He would dance this dance for them because he had no choice, but afterward… he will give me back to Ramsay then

roose actually tells theon the story of domeric. he describes domeric's relative capability and desire for brothers. he confesses that ramsay killed domeric and that he did nothing about it, that he fully anticipates ramsay to kill any children he has with walda. later, when theon is thinking about how roose will give theon back to ramsay, the conclusion is clear: ramsay is going to torture and abuse you, and i will do nothing—just like i will do nothing for any other sons i might have

theon co-victimhood with jeyne. does that make theon roose's sort-of daughter-in-law?

that last point was a haha joke... unless? after all, theon did canonically desire for ned to adopt him via marriage to sansa. so roose adopting him via "marriage" to ramsay, theon's use to roose being dependent on his subservience to ramsay, or more specifically, his role as legitimizing ramsay/reproducing roose in a similar way to marrying arya stark and having bolton children with her will... that is to say, haha

starks and boltons are foils, ned and roose are foils, ramsay's dogs and starkling direwolves are foils: if ned was a quasi-father figure AND simultaneously warden to theon then why would roose not be as well considering the stark/bolton relationship?

remember when i said that theon is intensely bothered by the fact that he "obeys" ned/balon but gets nothing for it? if you agree with that then consider this passage: Theon wondered if he might be allowed to fight. Then at least he might die a man’s death, sword in hand. That was a gift Ramsay would never give him, but Lord Roose might. If I beg him. I did all he asked of me, I played my part, I gave the girl away.

there's likely much more i could say here but those are a few points that i think are interesting as part of the larger discussion on theon as well as the social critique in ADWD theon POVs. i mean it really pulls the curtain back—stripped of all romanticism and in the dead of winter where nothing grows, what is a wife truly? a whore, jeyne says. what is a hostage? mine own face on their lie, not [even] a man, theon says.

what is a father? well in theon's decidedly horrifying case, it's the man who has use for you or else what's the point of you being alive

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

Since ChatBot has an issue with my framing let me explain a little bit.

When I said that Dems should go to jail for objectively lying about their political rivals I was half kidding but not entirely and I'll express why.

Lying is protected under the first amendment. But a few things of note.

Politicians (despite not doing their jobs) have a responsibility to the people they represent.

Election interference is against the law.

As a elected official you have responsibilities and should have actually less freedoms than normal americans. As the liability of your choices are much higher.

So what was my actual point? Kamala Harris, CNN, and 98% or more of the establishment media have been saying a number of things about Trump and others that are factually not true. As in Objectively not the case. What have they said?

-Trump will ban abortion.

Response: Trump has said almost a dozen times until now that he would not only NOT ban abortion, but would veto any bill brought to his desk IF one managed to reach his desk. And said he prefers it left to the states as it is now.

-Trump will ban IVF

Response: Trump has said at least twice that he thinks IVF should be covered by insurance. That's a long way away from a ban.

-Trump will arrest his political opponents.

Response: Trump will enforce the law that the Dems have broken and gotten away with. However this is actually less than fair considering the blatant disregard for the law that the dems have shown until now. Including most of the Establishment and the Dem party waging war against trump on a legal front with stuff that has never been used against people before and instances in which victimhood can't be proven. As well as the fact that a DA ran on finding dirt on trump and trying to put him in jail. (This is mostly an aside point but a needed point to talk about)

-Trump's Project 2025

Response: Trump has not only distanced himself from 2025 but has also said that he has nothing to do with it. Because he does not. The Heritage Foundation created it. And all have more or less stated he has nothing to do with it.

-Trump said nazi's were very fine people

Response: Trump did not say this and it is an objective falsehood. What's more, right before the coup on Joe Biden, Snopes AFTER SEVER FUCKING YEARS finally changed it from something like "Mostly true" to False. His full speech was viewable, plain as day. It was very clear what he said and what he meant.

-Trump called for a Bloodbath if he didn't get elected

Reponse: Trump did not call for a "Bloodbath" if he lost. He said there would be an economic bloodbath if we continue to rely on China's automotive industry, as well as Biden/Harris's policies in general. No intelligent person could listen to what he said and misinterpret that.

And the list goes on but my point is such. All of the points (Though specifically the ones in green) are outright fact checkable things that Dems, the Media, and Neo Liberals have objectively lied about to push Harris to the forefront. News organizations should have LIMITED freedom when it comes to protections. Especially when they tend to circle jerk and cite one another with "The approved narrative".

And that's what I mean when I said, "Should be put in jail". Elected Officials and MSM have an actual responsibility they have long since run away from in favor of spreading lies, slander, and propaganda.

Now I hear the moron chat bot say, "Well what about republicans?" Ok. Let's be fair here. Same deal. Except here is the issue. MSM leans 99% left. That's fact. YOU might claim that false but it's the truth. They all back the Democrats. And even when pushing "Criticism" they go out of their way to good faith, and justify what they complained about.

So. When it comes to embellishment, I take less issue. Exaggeration and embellishment are not the same as objective lying unless you know something is actually false. Like saying, "The fish was THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS BIG". Tends to be an exaggeration more often than not. Also isn't important to the collective function of this country. However, Elected Officials and MSM have responsibilities to the people. This includes NOT fear mongering. Like the commercial I posted where a woman is bleeding on the floor, and the guy calls a physician rather than 911, claiming that a republican will show up in your home and tell your wife to die because "She needs an abortion". 1.) Over the phone you can't know that, and 2.) No Reps will not BAN aid to a dying or in danger mother. It requires a fundamental misunderstanding of what abortion actually is.

So when I say arrest for objective lying, I look at Japan a little for this despite their culture and laws being different. These people have OBJECTIVELY lied about Trump. If Trump were elected we would likely get more of the same as when he was in office last time. Except we might actually see positive change in our country. Not for NeoProgs because you people are lunatics who think kids can consent but that's beside the point. My entire point was that Kamala Harris has objectively lied about things Trump has said. MSM has lied about things he has said. That? That is election meddling. Hell, if I has my way Dorsey, Zuck, and many of the people in all three companies, (google included) would be in prison for election meddling. DOD and DOJ officials as well.

I might fundamentally be a small L libertarian but I also believe in a LAWFUL society. Where as a number of far left radicals think anything they do is "Just". Where as in letter of the law, a number of these people have OBJECTIVELY broken laws. Meanwhile a number of Trump's cases are being overturned and appealed. Including the most important ones, like those levied by Laticia James. And the entire corrupt state of NY. Anyways, this is long enough, but I've made my point. If we have election meddling laws, they need to be enforced. The first two being some of the biggest offenders.

[mathsbian]

You know what I was thinking about last night?

In the US, we pay into various accounts that are set up by the government to help us out later if/when we need it. These include unemployment insurance (UI), social security retirement benefits, and social security disability benefits (SSDI). These accounts are directly connected to how long you have worked and the amount of money you were paid, and are only for you to access.

We also pay into programs that are for anyone who needs them, no work required to get assistance. These include social welfare programs like SNAP (food stamps) and TANF (cash assistance for families with children so they can buy clothes for their kids and stuff that isn’t covered by SNAP) and SSI, which is another kind of disability insurance but is specifically for poor disabled people who are possibly still working but can’t afford their cost-of-living expenses which are higher than the average person thanks to their disability.

If you want to get money from SNAP or TANF, you have to prove that you need it. The government will be checking if you have a job and how much you get paid, they’ll look at your bank accounts to see how much money you have on hand, you send them copies of bill statements to prove your expenses eat up most or all of your income. Since SSI is a similar program, I can understand why there’s hoops to jump through to get money from that program.

However, if you want money from your UI account or your social security retirement account, you pretty much just have to tell the government you’re in the group that account is for now. For UI, you have to show you’re still looking for new work (at least in my state) but it’s a very lax requirement compared to the requirements for SNAP/TANF. I’m not entirely sure how one goes about collecting their retirement benefits but I assume it involves a similar process of filing with the government that you’ve retired instead of being between jobs, and they’re only check that that admission from you is true.

SSDI, though? You pay into that account your entire career. But then if you suddenly need the money, you have to go through a ridiculously complicated and drawn out process to be approved. UI approval takes a week at most in my state. I assume retirement benefits get approved in under a year at the very most. But getting approved for SSDI when you don’t have one of the limited diagnoses that automatically qualify you (and not even just a diagnosis in the list, a diagnosis with the right stipulations such as mental health conditions having to be present for over two years without much documented improvement despite consistent treatment)? That can take up to TWO YEARS because they can just deny you over and over again and force you to appeal the decision as many as like 5 times, and each appeal has a 6 month waiting period. And on top of that, once you stop working, the account starts counting down to self-destruction. You only have so much time before you lose access to the money entirely. If I am not found disabled on this application (I’m halfway through all the possible appeals), I will not be able to get my SSDI money AT ALL.

It’s fucking bullshit. I paid into that account so I would have money set aside for if I became disabled. I don’t have to prove I need the unemployment money, which I’m no longer qualified to receive, they’ll basically give it to me no questions asked. But when I’m disabled and barely scraping by for years I keep getting told that “actually from our review of your case it seems like you totally can have a desk job, go fuck yourself” despite me constantly including the detail that I cannot sit upright at a desk for more than an hour without needing to lie down completely flat for two hours immediately after. It’s MY MONEY. They’re not saving it for someone else, they’re going to just eat it if I don’t get it, why can’t they just GIVE IT TO ME???

[multific]

Fate Takes It All

Bud Cooper x Reader

Modern!AU

Inspired by @brandyllyn work.

Warning: mention of insurance scams, death, smut and blackmail

Summary: After the death of your grandma you are to inherit as she stated in her will. However, when you get a stranger knocking on your door, it looks like your grandma had secrets of her own.

/YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/

"Ma'am, my name is Bud Cooper, I come from Limitless Insurance regarding your grandmother's will." the man in front of your door looked too handsome to be true.

This looked like some of the porn you might watch when you want to get cheesy. 

"Um, come on in." you allowed him into your small apartment, guiding him to your dining table. "Anything to drink? Coffee or tea?"

"I'll take some water please, if you have sparkling."

"Of course." you headed to the kitchen to get him a glass as you watched him from the corner of your eye. He got some papers out of his suitcase and sat down.

You sat across from him.

"First of all, Ma'am, I'm truly sorry for your loss."

"Thank you. Please excuse my boldness but, why are you here exactly?"

"You see, I went over your grandmother's will and insurance policy. She had a very basic plan, if you will. A cheap one. And yet, as it was determined, you are to receive 5 million due to her death."

"S-sorry. F-f-five... million?" you whispered the last part and he simply nodded. You nearly fell down from the chair.

"My job at Limitless Insurance is to look into these kind of contracts, I received it after the amount was determined and I found the amount strange. Your grandmother passed due to her age. She wasn't sick, she had no illnesses, from our data, she was very fit for her age. So, excuse me, but I found it strange. How can an amount as big as that, come after such a simple plan and contract? I had a look and your grandmother had a closure."

You looked at him, almost breathless as you waited for him to explain.

It made no sense.

She never mentioned anything about insurance.

"Her closure was in the event of death before her 80th birthday. The amount was determined because of that."

"It makes no sense. Why would my grandmother have something like that? Why would it be... good for your company?"

"Those were my exact questions. The man who prepared and got the contract approved, James McDrown, an insurance salesman who had been with the company for a long long time. He passed after a car accident just two months ago."

"What are you saying Mr Cooper?" you searched his eyes.

"I found out that your grandmother and Mr McDrown have been in a romantic relationship. I believe he prepared the contract for her with such a favourable amount because of that. I have proof of their messages." you frowned your eyebrows.

"What do you want Mr Cooper?"

"Half. And I won't release the information about the scam your grandmother and James pulled on the company. Now I'm sure you know how it would end if it got out. Big lawsuit." You looked at your hands on the table.

"But you see, Mr Cooper, the closure you mentioned had been signed by Limitless Insurance. Meaning, that even IF what Granny and James did is... not the right thing, it was approved and it is in full effect. So, tell me, Mr Cooper, why would I give anything to you exactly?" you smiled at him and watched as his eyes widened. "I assume your next step would be to prove my grandmother's death was not due to age. But let me remind you once more of the closure. More specifically, the last sentence." you pointed at the paper and looked into his eyes. "Even in the event of suicide." 

A heavy silence fell in the room.

"So, I ask once more, Mr Cooper from Limitless Insurance, what do you want?" you watched as he swallowed. 

"It seems I walked right into the claws of the dragon. How could I escape?" you loved his panic.

"I have been thinking of getting a life insurance myself. Would you perhaps be able to help me?"

"I-"

"But I have also been thinking, I could use some company, I believe you could be a good... cure for my loneliness."

"Ma'am... It seems like I have made a big mistake."

"Just as you said, Mr Cooper, you walked right into my claws."

"Is this what your late grandmother did to James?"

"Don't underestimate my Grandfather, Mr Cooper." Bud looked behind you at the cabinet and saw the photos. Photos of a young girl with the insurance salesman. "My grandmother once told me that a handsome insurance man would come knocking on my door. She said he would be mine and mine alone. Now I believe you are the insurance man I heard about since I was a child. So, we can start with a simple date. I can be quite sweet despite my... sassiness."

Who was he to lie and say he didn't like the idea? 

Who was he to say he wasn't staring at you as you poured the water for him? 

Who was he to say his cock didn't get hard just by the way you smiled at him? 

A wicked smile, but it made his blood rush into one place only. 

"I believe Ma'am, I have fallen into the traps of a spider, a black widow. And I rather not escape. So, we should go out for dinner? I can wait for you to get ready." 

"Perfect! Give me about 30 minutes." he simply nodded.

Who was he to stand in the way of fate?

A/N: Anyone interested in Part 2, let me know! I have some ideas!

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~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

/YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/

[theferalsquirrel]

Update and where I've been

Okay, so I made a post a few days ago to show that I'm still alive, as well as the fact that I was going to post an update about what's going on. So, here's the deal.

I mentioned a while back that I hurt my hand and that I've been needing to wear a brace off and on. And this is still going on. I've been advised by my orthopedic doctor to wear the brace when doing artwork, especially fine details. I've also acquired some arthritis gloves, which have fortunately eased the pain. For a while I was essentially trying to re-learn how to draw with the new limitations of the brace. However, the pain got so bad that I pretty much had to stop drawing entirely and focus on healing. In short, the pain was getting worse. I even had to quit my job a month or so ago as the pain became too great.

I haven't been able to draw for about the last two months, and as someone whose main stress reliever is drawing, this has been a less than unpleasant experience. Heck my hand is starting to hurt and cramp up just typing this out.

Since the pain wasn't improving, I went back to my doctor and explained to him what's going on, to which he sent in an order for an MRI of my hand to the hospital, of which I'm still waiting on the insurance to approve of.

I'm hoping to try and get back into drawing a little bit, just taking far more frequent breaks than usual. But I don't know how it'll go from here on out. This entire experience has been exceptionally difficult and depressing for me, as the idea of potentially never drawing again has reared its ugly head on multiple occasions. And that has done nothing to help my mental health. As someone who wants to write and draw to make stories, and uses this as my main creative outlet, the idea of having that stripped away from me in any way is terrifying.

There's also the added bit that I've been planning on serving a mission for my church sometime later this year, and I don't know how often I'll be able to be on here, or when my mission begins. It could be I won't be on Tumblr for a solid eighteen months, or perhaps I could still post every now and again during that eighteen-month period. I honestly don't know, as everything in my life seems up in the air at the moment.

So... Yeah. That's been my life. No job, off-and-on stabbing pains in my dominant hand, struggling to indulge in two of my biggest passions in life, and all-around uncertainty about the future and where everything is headed. Not to get too religious, but I am someone who relies on my faith when things get hard. But even now it's been difficult.

I'm going to try to create more art and play around with my (kind of) YouTube channel as I explore my limitations and where I'm at, and I'd like it if those who've stuck by me this long would be willing to stick around a while longer. But no pressure.

I just wanted to let people know that I'm alive, and what's going on. Not sure how many people will read this, but I trust that those who know me will. I'm not leaving Tumblr for good, not at all. I'm just in the midst of figuring a lot of things out.

[jupiterjames]

Hey! Saw your post about getting a doctor to clear the hold that was placed on your meds by your insurance. You mentioned a genetic test for psychiatric drug tolerance - how did you get one of those? My SO has been prescribed lots of different psychiatric drugs and most either don’t work well or have lots of negative side effects, so I’m wondering if this test would be useful (his doctors have never mentioned it to him before)

Absolutely! Now, I'm in the US, so if you're not, I have no idea how it would work besides straight up asking your doc if they know who and how to get one, but if you are in the US, I hope this helps.

My psychiatrist suggested the testing because she is not fond of a patient having to play medication whack-a-mole more than few times, and has experienced this phenomenon many times over the years, so she knew. And it was covered by my insurance and done by a company called GeneSight. They have a myriad of genetic tests, which is AWESOME. Your doc or psychiatrist may not know about the specific tests for medication tolerance (it's basically a very targeted liver enzyme test), so maybe float the idea to them. As a provider, they can order a test for you, OR you can straight up order one yourself and pay out of pocket and possibly be reimbursed by filing an insurance claim yourself.

HOWEVER, please keep in mind that if you or your doc orders the test (it is a cheek swab that will be mailed to you and that you can mail back) FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, check your insurance to see if you need pre-approval for coverage, a doctor's approval for coverage, and/or if you can just submit a claim after you get the bill, OR if your insurance will cover any genetic testing at all (most do for some things). Most docs will probably be more than willing to send your insurance a pre-approval request. Out of pocket, these specialized tests can cost upwards of $3-5K sometimes because they are so targeted. But also, if your SO is like me, and run the gauntlet of failed meds, insurance hates that too, so approving a test could be super easy. In my case, it went right through no hassle.

When you get the results, you will have an actual list of brand name and generic drugs in ALL psychiatric categories (even the ones that don't apply to your mental health needs) labled in a green (well-tolerated), yellow (eh, side effects that will probably resolve), and red (poorly tolerated or contraindicated.)

If you do this yourself, take the copy to your doc and discuss what's on the green list (or yellow if you're like me and have only 2 on the green list) and discuss what's appropriate. If your doc orders the test, they will also receive a copy of the results.

Anyway, this helped me A LOT. I immediately went on the SNRI that was in green, as well as anxiety meds in green (different category list) and felt a ton better.

Y'all stay as healthy as possible, okay? :D

[sawyerquinnbrown]

Adventures in Boob Removal

Check out my new blog post on Wordpress!

Where to start? Probably in April 2022, when I met with the first surgeon who was supposed to perform my top surgery.

This surgeon, who we will call Dr. Rude, began by explaining that my chest “wouldn’t look like a man’s chest” post-surgery, to which my non-binary ass replied,

“Good thing I’m not a man, then.”

Dr. Rude did not get the joke. He went on to complain about my having had a breast reduction surgery in the past, claiming I was “making [his] job more difficult.” I refrained from sarcastically apologizing,

“Sorry my understanding of my gender dysphoria didn’t happen sooner, good buddy.”

Anyway, it’s a good thing that first attempt at top surgery didn’t work out before my move to Chicago, because I wasn’t sure I could trust Dr. Rude, who had apparently never met a non-binary person before.

Once I moved to Chicago, however, it became clear that if I got my surgery there I would be waiting years for an appointment. The soonest they had for a consultation appointment was a year out. “Don’t bring your paperwork,” they told me, so to hell with that.

Instead I settled on flying to Boston for my surgery, since 1) I wouldn’t be waiting a year, 2) some of the best surgeons are in Boston, and 3) I have family and friends there with whom I could stay for my recovery.

My discussions with the receptionist at the new surgeon’s office (we’ll call him Dr. Did-My-Breast-Reduction-Six-Years-Ago Second Try) involved crossed wires, however.

“How long have you legally been a man?” they asked.

Puzzled, I replied, “No time. I’m non-binary.” This stumped the receptionist for a moment. “There’s an ‘X’ on my state ID?” I offered.

“Okay. And how long have you been on hormones?”

“I’m not on hormones.”

Once again this threw the receptionist for a loop, but we did manage to schedule a pre-surgical exam, so go us.

At the pre-surgical exam I met with the surgeon’s assistant, who spent about fifteen minutes flapping her hands over my boobs while she told me about the surgery. Fondling complete, she told me to wait in the lobby to schedule my surgery, and she’d see if Dr. Second Try was available to speak with me. So I waited in the lobby, where I was told my surgery couldn’t be scheduled until they submitted to my insurance anyway, at which point Dr. Second Try appeared, fully scrubbed- and masked-up, and announced to the room,

“So no nipples?”

“No nipples,” I confirmed with a thumbs up, glad that the entire waiting room now knew this.

Off I toddled back to Chicago to wait for my surgery date. The first time my info had been submitted to insurance, with Dr. Rude, it had taken about two weeks to hear back, so I was surprised that I hadn’t heard in three weeks. I finally got a call saying they’d never received my letter of approval from my psychiatrist.*

*This is a fun thing about being trans. It’s not enough to say to a doctor that you have gender dysphoria. First you have to go to a mental health professional to say you have gender dysphoria, then that mental health professional writes down that you have gender dysphoria and informs the doctor that hey, this person has gender dysphoria. Very efficient system, makes perfect sense.

“What do you mean you never got my letter? It’s the first thing I handed over at my exam.”

“We never got it.”

“It was in an orange folder.” They told me to hold.

Three minutes later: “We found the orange folder!”

“Why did it take three weeks to determine that you didn’t have my letter?” I asked politely, masking my understandable annoyance.

The scheduler said, snippy, “We have other things to do.”

Well excuse the shit out of me.

I’d go into more detail about the rest of the process, but everything went pretty smoothly for scheduling after that, as well as the surgery itself and the recovery (which was very itchy. No one warned me). The only moment of note was when I went to get my drains taken out (if you don’t know about drains, consider yourself very lucky).

The nurse who was assisting Dr. Second Try started to speak. “She–I mean, he–“

“They,” I corrected gently but wearily.

“They need more bandages,” she finished. Bless her, she was trying.*

*I find it a little odd that so many of the staff struggled with my pronouns and gender identity. This surgeon had done top surgeries many times before.

Anyhow, that was my top surgery adventure, and I’m finally able to lift my hands all the way over my head again. Yay! Though I do have something I call "phantom boob syndrome"--similar to phantom limb syndrome except that it means sometimes my chest will be itchy but no matter how much I scratch the itch won't go away because the itch is on my no-longer-existent boob. #suffering

[findingmypeace]

I am so fucking angry right now!!!! My (new to me) insurance company is utterly ridiculous! My dietitian and therapist are both out of network and therefore I have to pay out of pocket. To see both, on a weekly basis, my monthly payment equals $1,200/per month. (This is a very good deal for out of pocket and nothing against them). But $1,200 per month plus my rent equals 2/3rds my monthly income. That is just not sustainable.

Both providers give me superbills, which I can then submit to my insurance company for reimbursement. In simple terms, a superbill is me downloading a form off my dietitian's/therapist's website, sending it to my insurance company, and the being reimbursed by the insurance company for my out-of-pocket payment. Essentially, I'm taking care of the insurance billing rather than my provider.

HOWEVER, getting this process approved by my insurance company is an absolute terror. I have to do two intakes, with two different providers that "say" they specialize in treating eating disorders. (One therapist listed that they "specialize" in 66 things, including eating disorders. This is actually to my advantage) Then I need to say both providers did not meet my needs. After that I can submit an appeal to the insurance company saying both providers don't help with what I need. At that time, my insurance may or may not approve for me to be reimbursed by superbills from then on. This process will take months! But I can still see my preferred providers out-of-pocket while I am do this since it's my money.

I am just so pissed off at insurance companies in general. It's about profits rather than patient care and it's systemic. This is my livelihood in terms of finances and health. After last year's ridiculous battle to get inpatient vs residential covered I'm just done. I even have a different insurance now and I'm still dealing with the bullshit. I am so tired of the bullshit and the impossible steps to access to care. Ugh, I know I'm preaching to the choir. I don't want to be a political activist but health care in our country is a lost cause.