#however I want and idk it’s such a silly little fantasy but I love hearing it

[theclash]

:)

[kiss-me-muchoo]

Tenderness || Eddie Munson x Fem!reader

Summary: You’re ghosting Eddie because he didn’t stop Chrissy’s flirting. He appears in your window in the night, only to end up in a discovery of sexual fantasies. You have a pain kink and he has a lactating kink…. Warnings: SMUT. Minors drop your guns, you can wait a little more. emotional reader, naïve Eddie. Both are switches. Fingering. Pain kink?. Squirting. Breeding and lactation kink. Eddie cums in his pants. Eddie is a dork but we love him. A/N: I’m having pms rn. After a very emotional day, I just want Eddie to magically appear and suck my tender and swollen tits bye. NO PROOFREAD IDK IF ITS NOT HOT FOR U 💗

MASTERLIST IN MY PINNED POST!!!!!

“Y/N, hurry!” you heard Nancy Wheeler screaming to get you. You could take your mom’s car to school, but you were too insecure and anxious about start driving. But hey! you were a dedicated student, with college plans, already having a job in a little boutique. It’s not like you were behind your age just because you didn’t know how to drive yet.

One last look in the mirror; floral shirt dress with colorful tights and baby flats. You say baby because of the mini heels they had, so baby flats.

“Sorry, I woke up with PMS and tender tits, I’m moody, I warn you” Nancy rolled her eyes at your words, and later she extended her hand to you as she started the usual route from your house to Hawkins High. “Cash?…”

“Just because you take me everywhere and I love you….fifteen bucks for gas from your favorite passenger princess” you state applying some brown lipstick on the mirror on your hand.

“Why don’t you make Eddie your chauffeur again?” at that you rolled your eyes. You weren’t exactly happy with him.

“I’m mad at him” Nancy turned to see you, curiously wanting to know more.

“What happened?” you sigh, grasping the hem of your dress.

“I’m ghosting him because I saw Chrissy Cunningham flirting with him. And he didn’t

Said anything to her. He knows how much she pisses me off” Nancy nodded. She heard you on several occasions accusing Chrissy of being too friendly with Eddie.

“Eddie never wants to accept when he’s wrong so I scolded him and now I’m ghosting him” Eddie’s van is parked in the lot once you enter the school property. He would try to reach you today. Yesterday you ignored him all day, and you sent Steve and Robin to fully attend your store, so he couldn’t see you.

“Good for you. He deserves it, but talk to him” you nodded at Nancy’s words. You couldn’t and wouldn’t ignore Eddie forever, just a little more. After opening the car’s door, your arm brushed against your breast, and you noticed how tender it was.

“Another fucking day…” After that, Nancy and you parted ways.

After English class, you were supposed to go to lunch with the Hellfire Club, not that you were going to do it. You were still mad at your silly boyfriend. Just as you started walking through the hall, you noticed Eddie talking with Jeff in his locker. And just as he saw you, he started jogging towards you.

“Hey! Sweets, come here!” You turned away, running to the second floor, jumping against a boy’s lunch a little. “Y/n, wait!”

You were in better shape than Eddie. So you were able to run faster and hide in an empty classroom. After closing and locking the door, you saw Eddie’s shadow passing. You heard him mumbling and cursing in a low voice.

You just didn’t want to hear him yet.

_

There’s a tap on your window in the night. You know it’s Eddie. You ignore it and turn up the volume of your player. You were mad at him.

“Jesus, y/n. I’m getting numb all over here!” he could bet you were giggling. However, he kept hearing The Zombies across your room. He tapped again, more violently.

“Is not that high, Munson” you say after opening the door.

“Yeah, not when my balls are getting strangled by the tree right here” you roll your eyes and finally let him in. “See?. Wasn’t that hard to let me in, princess”

“Why don’t you go to tap on Chrissy’s window?” Eddie thinks it’s cute when you are jealous. He can finally see you in a pink top and underwear. Looking all cute with your fluffy hair, soft belly, and hard nipples visible under the top.

“I’m sorry. I know she can’t tell I’m not interested. But you were right, I should have told her no in the first place” you narrow your eyes looking at him accusingly. He’s giving you lost puppy eyes, you can’t stay mad any longer.

“Fine. I forgive you… but you have to tell me what’s in the bag. Plus, a massage on my tender and swollen tits” Eddie smiles and gives you a naughty smirk. He places the brown bag on your desk and turns to seat on the edge of your bed.

“I might have stopped in our favorite place to get some burritos, fries, and two slices of bread pudding and red velvet cake” after ignoring him for two days you feel a little guilty now. “Robin told me you are about to start your period. So I also got some painkillers and a heating pad. The one you wanted from K-Mart”

“Oh, Eddie” suddenly you get your eyes teary. You feel guilty because it wasn’t the big deal and you created such a show for nothing. “I love you so much, baby”

“I love you too, princess. Now come here” he pats his lap and you go without hesitation. He handles you so your back is touching his chest, your legs spread and his hands wrapped around your hips. “Let me show you how sorry I am”

“Tell me where it hurts” you guide his hands towards your tits. Instantly feeling a wave of heat shatter your entire body.

“My nipples, they’re hard and swollen. I can feel my tits so heavy, Eddie” maybe you are teasing him with your naughty tone. Eddie can’t help but feel his cock getting hard.

“Get comfortable, doll…”

_

“Oh, Eddie!” you were lucky to have the trailer by yourself. Your parents are out every Friday night. Perfect to let your boyfriend sneak in and let him fuck you. In this case, finger you. “Fuck!. I need more”

“You look so fucking hot right now,” he said behind you. The left side of your bed was facing a big mirror that was a door for your closet. Being a witness of you naked with your legs spread out for your boyfriend behind. One of his skilled hands caressed one of your breasts, now covered in baby oil. While the other was mercilessly fucking you. “C’mon, baby. Make a mess on your bed and the floor for me”

“Eddie!” He could hear you moaning all day and night. Your sounds always being so pretty and erotic at the same time. While you were discovering a weird pain kink. The way Eddie pinched your nipples and make you squirm was a lot of pleasure. A mix of pain and pleasure. “Yes! There, ohh!”

“Say you love how wet I make you…” you spread your legs more, holding on to his tight. Giving him more moans until you are starting to get a little shaky. “Shit!. I love how wet you make me. Always making me gush”

“Aww, Can you hear it? Squirt, princess” the squelching sound of your pussy was driving you crazy, but Eddie was concentrating on your tits bouncing in the mirror. They looked bigger after almost an hour of pinching and groping. Maybe he was also discovering a kink. His perverted little brain would associate your swollen breasts with you being pregnant. Fantasizing with you, moaning while he made you ride him, with leaky swollen tits and a bump in the middle… He opened his eyes in time to look at you squirting so hard while high moans left your mouth. Tears falling and a big blush on your cheeks. Without a warning, cum flooded his boxers.

“Goddamit” you heard him say. Because your eyes were seeing stars. Maybe you were still squirting, but you felt like under a spell. “And that’s how we start to ruin your mattress too, baby. We have to get matching stains!” . . “You’re a dork, Eddie. But thank you, my baby cramps feel better” trying to catch your breath, all you can hear is Eddie and you panting. Both with a goofy smile while looking at each other.

“You made me cum in my pants, y/n” a soft giggle from you made him smile. Your legs felt like jelly, so he helped you. “I think I have a breeding kink. Well, not sure if a breeding kink or lactation kink”

“My swollen tits made you cum on your pants like a pre-teenager?” he rolled his eyes, taking his pants off. The wet feeling was uncomfortable. “Don’t say it like that, but yeah. Your gorgeous swollen tits made me cum in my pants”

“You know women can lactate without being pregnant?” Eddie’s eyes opened widely. His cock getting hard again.

“Is that possible?” You nodded. Looking at the big wet spot on his boxers, you could see a new erection. Another thing to love about Eddie Munson, he was so needy just like you. “Tell me what you need and I’ll get it for you”

“Shit, Eddie. You are having a kink discovery.” This time, he moaned when you started to palm him under his boxers. He throws his head against your headboard. “That’s why you suggested the baby oil in my tits, little freak”

“Stop making me feel so nasty. But… Would you let me try to make you lactate?” How can you say no to that dorky and beautiful eyes of his? it was barely impossible without hormones or therapy. But you would let him try…”Yeah. But you better in your best behavior. And that includes avoiding Chrissy Cunningham”

“I swear. On Monday I’ll leave it clear for her…” you nod, still palming him. “After you cum… Can we eat? I’m hungry”

“Sure, princess…” he leaned to kiss you on the forehead, and then he let his cock out.

_

On the high school hallways. Chrissy was retouching her gloss when he heard Eddie’s voice, making her smile with excitement. But when she turned around, you were by his side. And when you two passed in front of her, Eddie decided to say something to you.

“You still sore, doll? Guess I was too rough with you last night. Hopefully, you’ll be lactating in a couple of months” you instantly blush. Abruptly stopping Eddie at the entrance of the cafeteria.

“Eddie Munson! You can’t say that things out loud!” Eddie giggled, giving a big hug in the process. “But you wanted me to tell Chrissy to stay away from me”

“You nasty little pervert. I love you” he kisses you. Hoping he will let you know how much he loves you.

Part 2 where Eddie gets reader to lactate?

[peaches-writes]

heart attack!

description: han jisung can charm any heart if he wants to but he just wants one, whether he admits it to your face or not. 

member: jisung / han

genre: fluff, fantasy, rivals to lovers au, childhood friends to lovers au, witch / wizard au (sugar sugar rune-inspired), royal au, college au, roommates / housemates au, slice of life format, a side of hwang siblings, sunshine twins, cousin chan, and minchan (!!)

word count: 25.1k i’m so sorry

warnings: explicit language, alcohol, some mentions of injuries, a brief episode of someone getting abducted, mentions of a creep being,,,well a creep at public transportation, self-indulgent tooth-rotting cheesiness, idk if i should put a warning for unconscious emotional manipulation but im gonna write that in here anw

note: idk if i want to write little drabbles w this same pairing again since it ended up being so long but i kinda lost the plot halfway lmao lmk if u guys want additional lil drabbles for this hehe + again happy 1k yay!

You don’t always get along with Han Jisung, crown prince of the Eastern Kingdom, for reasons you simply can't limit to the number of fingers and toes that you have. He loves annoying you for the sake of getting a reaction, bratty as far as a wizard prince goes, and prideful among many traits that you were forced to grow up alongside with.

These days, however, you hate the way that he is the only other candidate alongside yourself for the High Crown of the magical world. As if fate didn't just want the two of you to butt heads in school and at royal social functions all the time, suddenly you're pushed to compete with him for something much greater.

For the record, though, it's tradition that all firstborn heirs of the 4 major kingdoms are considered eligible for the highest throne that unites all of your domains. You were going to compete with him either way, just with other people initially involved. However, with prince Hyunjin of the Southern kingdom mysteriously disappearing over a month ago and princess Lia of the Western kingdom subsequently refusing the candidacy, suddenly there was only you and the Eastern prince for the high jury to challenge in their Crown Candidacy exam. Fate and circumstance clearly love you with the way Jisung is always in your line of sight when all you want for yourself is to not be on the receiving end of his teasings and competititve streak all the time.

Though you yourself didn't desire the High Crown at first, the elders continuously pressuring you eventually pushed you into accepting the task. Plus, knowing that it's Jisung—the brat who pulled on your hair during those silly etiquette lessons the high jury made you and the other royals take as kids and embarrassed you when you once confessed your past crush to him in middle school—who would be automatically crowned without a test if Hyunjin isn't found in time and you also refuse made you go forward with it. After all, as much as you personally don't want to answer to Jisung as the next High King, you also think that entrusting the entire magical realm to him is simply not right. You would know, you had to grow up with him.

So, here you are on the night that the Crown Candidacy exam begins, receiving the final blessing from your mother and the high jury with Jisung who has been sneakily trying to poke on your side and get a reaction out of you since the ceremony began. If 15 elders and your mentors aren't surrounding the two of you with their scrutinizing eyes right this very moment, you would've easily snapped on the first poke and blasted the blue-haired boy.

"Stop that," You instead gritted your teeth next to him with the 17th poke to your waist, lowering your voice that only he can hear. "Ji, I swear to the gods—"

Among the circle of witches and wizards chanting ritual protection spells over the two of you, your mentor Younghyun glares at you and Jisung as if in a non-verbal scolding that the two of you should stop "playing around" as he would usually word it. You simply roll your eyes at this in response, earning you more quizzical looks from the other elders.

You also hate the way that Han Jisung keeps stringing you into his antics as his favourite person to mess with. If anything, you're most often in trouble with the elders because of him.

"This part of the ceremony is so unnecessary. I'm bored" He murmurs tiredly under his breath, bringing his hands back inside his black cape and pushing his shoulders back as he stands up straighter once more. "It's not like humans can hurt us. We're the magical ones, hello? Besides, the jury’s already cut the one-year exam by half. What could even happen in that time?”

"Stray monsters can still hunt you there if you don’t stand still." You correct immediately, earning you a look from your own mother this time as she finishes leading the last of the spells. At this point in your unwanted association with him, you don't even care much anymore that you get in trouble because you entertain his antics. You just want him to shut up. "Whatever. It's done."

The prince then giddily springs up in place once all of the spells are casted, suddenly looking more awake than the past 5 minutes of ceremony. "Finally! Okay, thanks for that! We'll be going now!"

"Wait." Your mother calmly interrupts him, perfectly hiding her slight annoyance over you and Jisung as she whips out her blue wand from the pockets of her ceremonial robes. "For the high jury to properly tally the ecure that you'll collect in the human world after this task, we'll be providing you with vessels to keep them."

As she mentions the vessels, a sapphire locket and an emerald ring materialize in front of you and Jisung respectively before settling at the palms of your hands. You're then quick to notice the way that the diamond-cut sapphire encrusted at the center of your locket emits warmth as you place it around your neck, indicating its magical properties.

"These vessels have been modified further to record everything that you collect and any spell or potion that you might use them on while undertaking in this task." Your mother then continues. Simultaneously, Younghyun gestures for you and Jisung to mount your brooms and prepare to fly off into the yellow crescent moon where the portal to the human world lies on its other side. "Though the ecure that you lose is not counted in the final tally, knowing how you used or lost them also contributes to the jury's examination of your magical skills and knowledge."

Jisung chuckles, bumping the bristle end of his broom with yours playfully. "And to see what kind of trouble we'll get ourselves into, right?"

In response, you simply roll your eyes. Your mother, on the other hand, purposely tunes out Jisung's usual antics and continues, "Remember, this exam will determine the next monarch that unites all of the 4 major domains. Collect as much ecure as you can from the humans in the 6 months that you're given with them and you will be rewarded greatly. Until then, have a safe journey to the human world, candidates."

With that, you and Jisung push yourselves off from the castle balcony, heading straight to the crescent moon.

"Last to the other side is a lousy flyer!" Jisung yells playfully into the quiet night, speeding ahead before you could even process his words. “And has to pay for a meal sometime!”

"Ya! Han Jisung!" You increase your speed yourself anyway despite knowing that his words don’t have any ill meaning, catching up to him with ease just as the two of you pass into the portal. “I paid for the meals last time!” 

-

Han Jisung isn't always fond of you, the heir to the Northern Kingdom, for reasons he simply can't limit to the number of fingers and toes that he has. He thinks you're too uptight (especially in the presence of the high jury and the other elders of the bigger royal circle), easily irritable, and surprisingly a bit of a pushover to your kingdom's advisors ever since your cousin, Chan, renounced his royal title and settled in the human world.

These days, however, he hates the way that you've suddenly taken up an interest in competing for the high crown of the magical world alongside him even when you've made it clear countless times before that you only wanted to rule your own kingdom. You only started showing interest after Lia formally refused her candidacy and the elders pushed you more into changing your mind, clearly hinting that you don't want Jisung to automatically be crowned High King.

Do they really think that terribly of me? Jisung has resorted to thinking a lot about these days, even now as the two of you arrive at Chan’s place where you would be staying for the duration of the test. I make a good high king as much as I do the king of my own people! Hmp!

It shouldn't bother him this much, it's just you anyway. But at the same time, it bothers him for this very same reason: because it's you, the know-it-all who always busted his antics to the teachers back in school and embarrassed him to his friends when you confessed your past crush to him back in middle school. Jisung hates the way you challenge and compel him to be petty and competitive all the time, especially in the little things. Like right now, as the two of you argue on who gets the bigger bedroom in Chan's house right after you arrived.

"You know, I was just holding back a while ago because we were in front of the elders but I swear, I won't hesitate to blast you now that we're away." You warn as you try your best to stare him down while he blocks the bedroom door you both want. You have your hands raised to the side, sparks of a spell encircling our fingers and the space between your hands. "Move, Jisung!"

Still, Jisung stubbornly refuses. You two have bickered enough to last you all of your lifetimes and for him to know that you won't really do it. "I was here first! You go to the other room!"

The blue ball of energy in your hands begins to shape itself into a more tangible shape as your brows furrow even deeper in frustration. "But I called dibs on this room to Chan firs—!"

Before you could finish your words, however, Chan peeks his head out from the opposite end of the hallway with a pile of blankets in his hands. "You two still going at it? It's almost 2 AM." He teases in feigned disapproval, approaching the two of you to throw a blanket each of your way. "Come on, give it up, Sung. Y/N gets the big room."

Jisung's initial smug expression contorts into disbelief in an instant while you celebrate with a wide grin and a teasing tongue stuck out at him. "What?!"

"Ha! Thanks, Channie!" You clasp your hands together in satisfaction, the red sparks in your hands disappearing into thin air as you do so, before pushing the paralyzed Jisung out of the way and locking yourself in the bedroom. Once Jisung's pulled himself together at the betrayal, you then briefly peek your head out of the door, sticking your tongue out for the last time before greeting the two boys with a quick, "Goodnight!"

Jisung glares and purses his lips in front of Chan who chuckles at this. "Hyung!" He whines, grabbing the older boy by his biceps and shaking him wildly like how a child would throw a tantrum. "I don't see you for three years and when I do, I get treated like this?!"

"Exactly." Chan nods with an amused smile, tugging Jisung to his side and leading him to his room across from yours. "Y/N was kind enough to visit me here while you didn't even send a letter. I think that's enough to give them the big room."

"Aah, but you already know why I couldn't! I was busy with all the prince stuff!"

"Y/N was too, though? And they’re doing twice the work than you."

"But Y/N's more organized than me!"

"So you agree? My cousin earned the bigger room?"

"No, it’s not th���aish! Bang Chan!" When the older boy in question tries pushing Jisung back to the smaller bedroom, the latter childishly protests by gripping onto the doorframe. "I'm making it up to you now! I'm literally staying here for 6 months!"

"Yeah and I'll definitely treat you to lots of other things for that later. Seriously, Ji, give it a rest. It's just your temporary room for the exam." Chan sighs with a tired laugh, prying the younger wizard's hands off of the doorframe and shoving him inside the room. "Unpack your things and get some sleep. We're having a welcoming party for you two on the weekend."

"You're supposed to side with me here."

"Don't pull that face, you're not kids anymore." Chan chuckles, ruffling the younger boy's hair. "And I'm not siding with anyone. It’s just a room! Night, Sungie."

Jisung opens his mouth to protest, only for Chan to close the door on him and walk back to his own room. With a sigh, the boy defeatedly trudges to his new bed and, after taking out his expandable pouch from his pockets, jumps to the mattress with a muffled groan to the plush pillows.

Jisung also hates how one of his best friends favors you better just because you're cousins first. He's had enough of Chan coddling you before from when you were kids, always taking your side when the two of you bicker and offering you his extra food when the three of you are together, and he would much prefer it if he doesn't see it now that the two of you are undergoing an important exam.

"At least the view's nice." He pouts to himself once he's seated up once more, facing the window that overlooks the city. After just spending ten minutes flying over Seoul and exploring Chan's vast mansion, Jisung gets it a little now. Chan definitely didn't choose this realm over their home for no reason.

If I'm not in line to be king, Jisung thinks to himself, this life also seems nice.

Hovering his hands over the enchanted green pouch, its neatly packed contents of clothes and other personal belongings then emerge from its seemingly tiny space before levitating to their respective places. "Aish, that Y/N!" Jisung yells loudly on purpose, leaning on his side closer to the door to hear your reaction.

Across the hall, while you make a fuss out of unpacking and changing the appearance of some furniture, you yell back, "Shut up, Ji!"

Jisung has many reasons for disliking you at times but, if anything, he lives for your reactions when he purposely annoys you. Even when he knows you’re always a spell away from actually snapping at him, you never actually do and it never fails to amuse him. Scoffing, he lets it slide for now and quietly unpacks.

-

If attending social functions as a royal has taught you anything over the years, it's to avoid being within reach of Jisung at a party before, during, and after he makes a huge mess of things. You've had your own fair share of spilled drinks to your dress robes, purposely getting embarrassed in front of the elders and other important public officials, and even a huge fight over not wanting to be his dance partner to remind you of this at all times.

Of the places that you and Jisung have to be standing next to each other, it's the parties that you hate having to see him at the most because they bring you nothing but trouble. Chan's welcoming party for the two of you, with witches and wizards living in the human world as well as Chan's own human friends in attendance, is no exception.

"What do you think he's going to do this time?" Yeji snickers next to you on the makeshift dance floor of the house's backyard. Ever since her brother disappeared, she's been staying in the human world combing through every inch of Seoul and trying to retrace what is little known of the steps he took. Naturally, you've stuck to each other like glue since she arrived. "It's been two hours since this party started and all he's doing is—"

"Flirt with every human on the dance floor. I know, that's why I'm not looking over my shoulder. I think that's all he's planning to do in this party, given that we've started with the test." You frown, taking a sip of your beer as the song changes to a more lively one. "This guy's never taken any exam back in school seriously but now he suddenly wants to win this one exam. Weird, right?"

"Hm, maybe he really wants to win this exam and become high king. You can never really tell what goes on in that head of his." Yeji shrugs, blinking twice in quick succession to make her eyes turn red, an indication that she's scanning the venue for the humans' ecures. "Anyway, he's definitely working hard. I see a lot of orange hearts for him as much as there are for you."

Only then do you also turn your head around the place, your own eyes turning blue as you collect the orange hearts of infatuation and green hearts of friendship that people you've met tonight have for you with a non-verbal spell. As you catch these little crystal hearts into your locket, you briefly catch a glimpse of Jisung at one of the foldable tables chatting with three human girls. It somehow irritates you.

"He never lost that cringey fuckboy persona, huh?" Yeji points out once you're done with your collecting, shaking her now empty bottle and frowning once she realizes that it's already empty. "I guess I didn't miss out on much even after being away for a few weeks."

"You talk like you were gone for a year, not 3 weeks." You laugh. When she then asks you if you want to get new beer bottles, you follow her back to the coolers behind Chan's DJ set. "I hate how we'll be seeing more of those again when we start attending uni to collect more hearts."

"Oh, right! You're attending mine, right? You'll be with me, Seungmin, and Ryujin?" When you nod once more, she links her arms with yours and adds, “Gosh, I can just see it now, girls from the different departments flocking the two of you on the first day but especially Sung. A lot of girls I know from uni really dig that e-boy thing he has going on."

You pretend to gag, making her throw her head back in a cackle of laughs. "Humans and their weird tastes in men." You scrunch up your nose, the two of you briefly pausing to politely wave at Chan as you pass by his booth.

Your cousin doesn't hesitate to wave back at you both before going back to his spinning. You and Yeji then head to the back of his area where the coolers of different beverages have been placed.

"Oh shush, didn't you too also have a crush on him way back then?" Yeji teases the moment the two of you are alone again, opening the cooler with a simple flick of her hand. You follow along despite the glare you send her way, your empty beer bottles getting replaced by new ones. "Sometimes, Ryujin and I like to think that you still have a little bit of that."

"No way." You shake your head in denial, picking up a bottle opener from one of the closed coolers and using it over yours and Yeji's. "Middle school was a long time ago. Jisung just irritates the hell out of me now."

"Who irritates who now?" A voice behind you perks up almost immediately, causing you to jump and spill a little of your beer on the grass. When you glance over your shoulder, Jisung's white bucket hat comes into your vision, eventually uncovering his mischievous smile. "Ah, so clumsy. Look, you spilled a little beer on the grass.” 

Next to you, Yeji giggles behind her hand while greeting Jisung. You glare at her in response.

"You're annoying." You point out with a pout, thrusting the bottle opener to his chest before linking arms with Yeji. "We're going."

Jisung only shrugs with a smirk, waving goodbye to Yeji as the two of you pass by him to go back to the dance floor. "It makes you look, doesn't it?"

"Uh-huh, keep telling yourself that." You roll your eyes before disappearing back into the crowd with Yeji.

Once Jisung is out of earshot, Yeji then nudges your side with your linked arms. "I'm telling you, there's still a little something. Deep, deep down there." She teases in a singsong. “That’s probably why the banter just won’t die out.”

"Nope, definitely not." You shake your head. "Have you been watching too much of those human dramas while you’re here? It’s playing with your judgement."

-

It comes even as a surprise to Jisung himself that he hasn't caused a major mishap in this welcoming party so far. Since the majority of the guests started arriving two hours ago, he hasn't done anything troubling besides losing to Ryujin at beer pong and finishing a whole red cup of Chan's jungle juice concoction as punishment almost an hour ago.

It doesn't bother his "instincts for mischief" that much—his mentor's words not his. It means that he's more focused on collecting ecures at the moment with the amount of humans he's mingled with at this party, especially the girls who have taken it upon themselves to flirt with him.

What does bother him slightly, however, is the way you occasionally glance over to him knowingly from across the lawn, as if you're expecting him to do something. You always seem to do that after years of getting roped into his troubles, much like a lot of your childhood friends who'd frequently end up in similar predicaments. Somehow, however, it's always intimidating when it's you looking at him. He personally hates that, the look in your eyes when you're trying to catch him in his mischievous acts.

"Who are you and what have you done to my twin brother?" Felix has been teasing the entire night every time he encounters Jisung. When Jisung pouts this time, while the two share a drink on a couch that was brought out for this party, Felix laughs over his drink and adds, "Oh, so you're really focused on this test, huh? No trouble until this party's over?"

"Why do you guys think I'm not?" Jisung frowns, elbowing his brother by his side. "Geez, Lix, you're supposed to root for me here. If I win, you get to be king too."

In response, Felix waves his solo cup dismissively. "No, no, I think you're doing great! You've caught how much already? Twenty hearts in this party? That's a great start, bro." He comments with a proud smile. "It's just a little new, seeing you all so serious and focused. It's not because you're up against Y/N, right?"

"Ha? Nope, definitely not. It's barely a competition when I'm clearly winning." Jisung shakes his head a little too defensively as he sinks into the soft velvet couch. "I just think it's natural that another kingdom should get the high crown this time and since it's only me and Y/N competing, unless we also find Hyunjin while we're here I should work hard and make it happen."

Just then, Seungmin sits down on his other side with a cup of punch and a small paper plate of sweets from the chocolate fountain. "If Hyunjin was here, he would've whipped your asses in this party by getting all of the human guys and girls with one smile." He points out matter-of-factly. "Plus, if Lia accepted the candidacy, all three of you would've lost even before you left home."

"You never really rooted for me, huh, Minnie?" Jisung feigns sad eyes as he rests his head on Seungmin's shoulder. "And here I thought we're best friends."

"Oh no, I'm totally rooting for you now." Seungmin replies with a dry chuckle, passing his paper plate over to Felix when he holds his hands out in a motion asking for food. "But if the gang was complete, I would've changed to team Hyunjin."

Jisung scoffs at this, swiping a marshmallow covered in chocolate from Seungmin's plate. "Fine, I won’t hold it against you. I miss Hyunjin too."

"Yeji and Chae are doing everything they can to look for him. He'll turn up somewhere, he just has to. Until then, you should just focus more on your exam. Hyunnie would want that." Felix quips in before turning his attention over to you and Yeji at the nearby karaoke mini bar. "Look, that's what Y/N and Yeji are doing right now."

When Jisung looks through the crowd that has gathered around you, his eyes turning a deep green, he sees a lot of orange hearts gravitate over to you, mostly from the uni boys and girls that Yeji, Seungmin, and Ryujin have invited to this party.

"You guys are seeing it too, right?" Felix asks, his own eyes a matching shade of green when he tilts his head over to Seungmin and Jisung. "At least twenty new hearts in a span of 10 minutes, right after they just gave Y/N a bunch of green hearts."

Seungmin nods, his head movements making Jisung's head shake a little on his shoulder. "Yeah. Y/N's really working extra on this." He notes in complete awe. "The competition's really close, don't you think so Lix?"

"Definitely. What do you think, Ji?"

"Nope, definitely not." Jisung crosses his arms and shakes his head in disagreement. "It's impressive but not enough to catch up to me."

But the smallest hint of a frown gracing his features is enough to give his feelings away to his friends. Only now does it fully sink in that it’s definitely a tight competition between the two of you.

one out of six months

At one point, you understood why people would foolishly fall for Jisung. On a really good day, when he's not causing you or anyone too much trouble, you could see his playful side as charming, maybe even too cute for you to admit it out loud. A long time ago, back when you were still so naïve, you had a small playground crush on him too, after all; a crush that ended so badly you're convinced it's where your bickering naturally escalated.

But now, as your days in the human world turn into a month spent fulfilling your Crown Candidacy exam at university with your friends, you just wish that not a lot of humans are so insanely attracted to Jisung. It's nothing personal, of course, you're not jealous at all in that way. Whenever you sit in the library to study, attend classes from late in the morning to early afternoons, or even just sit in the quad with your shared friend group discussing updates on Yeji's search for Hyunjin, however, your competitor is just always being followed by flocks of smitten girls with their orange and pink ecures of crushes on their sleeves, ready to be collected by Jisung's emerald ring.

And you're not going to get started on the rainbow-colored hearts that send him little gifts and love letters at least once a week before classes, sometimes even directly to Chan's house where the third kitchen fridge is now filled with bakery goods stashed along with Chan's fan gifts. Not wanting to admit it to him or any of your friends, you're admittedly quite jealous because he attracts the ecures from the humans so easily while you have to work extra harder in socializing with your human peers to garner even just pink hearts. You hate having to work extra, extra harder just to be on par with him all the time, especially when he seems to be effortless in his ways.

"Before Lix went back to the magical realm, he relayed that Changbin from back home suggested that we start expanding our search for Hyunjin to—" For the sixth time since your group met up at the quad after classes this particular afternoon, another group of girls pass by and greet Jisung, interrupting Yeji in her explanations. Pouting slightly, she then turns to Jisung and pokes him with her pen, snapping the smirk off of his face. "Sung, focus."

Jisung nods quickly, waving Yeji's pen away from his side. "Yeah, let me just collect their hearts real quick."

You roll your eyes in response, nudging Yeji to resume her updates. "Just go on, Yeji." You encourage her, Seungmin and Ryujin nodding along in agreement. For emphasis, you make sure to tap Jisung's hand on the grass with your own pen harshly, making him wince dramatically in pain. "You're extending the search to Incheon, right?"

"Oh, uh yeah. Like I said, Lix said that Changbin suggested Incheon since Hyunjin briefly mentioned it in one of his letters. We'll start looking into it ourselves before this semester is over." Yeji continues on, ignoring the next group of passing girls that Jisung gets distracted over again this time around. "Chaeryoung is going there in the following months, though, to scout the places first. Then, we'll try and follow up with a search of our own. I'll have to ask Chan and the jury back at home if you and Jisung are allowed to go, though, since you're taking your exam."

"Among those places, Hyunjin often went to this stretch of the beach because he was investigating a monster from home who escaped here and took an artifact from our kingdom." Seungmin added, pointing to a location on Yeji's map sprawled over your laptops at the very center of your circle. "It was one of his last assignments here before he suddenly disappeared. We'll probably stay here the longest."

You try your best to listen, adding your own inputs to how your search operations would go while also noticing a couple of people who recognize you and wave your way, but Jisung somehow keeps grabbing your attention by the way he entertains his admirers who greet him shyly as they pass by you group. The playful smirks he sends their way, the polite waves, and the way his hand keeps twitching in between the two of you as he collects the ecures with his own spell keep eating away at your attention span, pressuring you that he's taking the lead in your race.

You also try discreetly collecting your own share of hearts under your breath whenever someone you know passes by but you eventually find it hard finding people while trying to listen to your friends. "Ji, focus." You mumble under your breath after a while, breaking his focus as he collects two more orange hearts.

"Y/N, keep up with me here." He smirks, just as the orange hearts disappear into his ring. "Why are you so distracted by me, anyway? Jealous?"

"I’m not jealous!” 

"Guys focus." Ryujin snaps at the two of you this time, chuckling in amusement when you and Jisung both glare at her. "Hey, easy on the stink eyes. I'm just telling you two to listen over here."

"Do as I do, Ryujin, and just tune them out." Seungmin jabs nonchalantly as he and Yeji take down notes of their discussion, not even once looking up at you nor Jisung. "It works out splendidly once you've mastered it."

"Hearing them bicker over random things before was one thing. Hearing them bicker over ecures now is a whole new playing field." Ryujin smirks, particularly to you. "Ah, you guys sound even more like a married couple now that you're competing. Tsk, tsk..."

"No, we're not!" You and Jisung answer in chorus, looking incredulously at each other after. "Ya!"

"Seungmin's right. Just tune them out, Ryujin." Yeji points out without missing a beat, a small smile taking out the initial annoyance from her face. "Anyway, what's important is we settle our plans first. Let the married couple race for the crown."

"Ya! Hwang Yeji!" You scold, flinging your notebook towards her which she dodges swiftly. "I'm listening, I swear."

Yeji gives you a look of mock disbelief in response before chuckling and going back to her work. "Whatever you say."

-

Jisung won’t admit it to any of you nor his friends’ faces but he may be just a little jealous that you’re catching onto him at a great speed and looking surprisingly nonchalant about it on the outside. You work extremely hard, that’s a given and Jisung respects that as much as the two of you annoy each other. But he doesn’t even have to sneak over to your room at night and check your locket for your ecure count; the boys and girls from uni, the market where Chan forces the two of you to run errands on weekends, and even at Ryujin’s favorite skate park who always take two glances your way wherever you go are enough giveaway to the amount you’re collecting everyday. And it’s a whole lot of hearts. He won’t even be surprised if you’ve managed to collect 300 hearts by now.

And he’s not even going to get started on how fast you manage to take ecures from the same people twice in less than a week, managing to charm same-age neighbors and classmates from good friends to secret admirers in a span of a few days and getting you at least twice the amount for your tally. You have enough hearts on your locket to keep up with Jisung’s count and use your magic leisurely at home. You definitely keep your competitor up on his toes all the time with how you’re giving your all in this competition and it’s gnawing at him to do even better. 

What annoys him on top of this, however, are certain kinds of people that look your way, or even Yeji’s and Ryujin’s for that matter. When the three of you aren’t looking and a bunch of passing jocks would eye you weirdly on the quad or at the library, especially since you’re new to the school, his natural instinct is to glare them down until they’re looking away. He sees their purple ecures from where he would sit across from you as you study, a sign of a lusting kind of feeling, and it does nothing but to tick him off into intimidating them until the color fades out. 

Seungmin thinks that, in a way, this is cheating and that you’d probably think the same way if you find out since purple ecures are ranked quite high in the tally, just above pink hearts (”Y/N’s gotten mad at you before for going too far or breaking the rules. You, of all people, should know not to get on their bad side.”). When Jisung writes to Felix back home after, however, his twin naturally defends him and says that he’s just looking out for you. 

“You guys don’t always see eye to eye, even now that you’re competing against each other,” Felix recorded over the enchanted mail that arrived after your meeting at the quad, Jisung and Seungmin separating from your group to do some more studying at the library. “but you’re just looking out for Y/N and protecting them from any weirdos, like for Ryujin and Yeji. Just tone it down a bit and let them handle it sometimes.” 

“See? Lix thinks I’m doing something right.” Jisung sticks his tongue out at Seungmin who simply shakes his head in stubborn disagreement before returning back to his class notes. “I’m telling you, I’m not sabotaging Y/N on purpose.” 

“Still, whether they want to collect those purple ecures or not is not your choice to make.” Seungmin points out. Though he agrees with Jisung’s intentions, as he’s been doing the same and looking out for you and your friends in his own ways as well, he also trusts that you can take care of yourself. “Just let them handle it next time, unless they actually do need your help.”

“But—“

“Consider the guys that passed by at the quad the last time you’ll mess with Y/N’s ecures.” “You saw that?!”

Still, it gnaws on Jisung’s conscience when he takes the train home with you later that day, when another purple heart springs up for you as he checks your surroundings and finds it to be from a stranger. What a creep, Jisung cringes internally with disgust before strategically blocking the man out from your sight and standing closer to you, Y/N’s competition but I’m a decent being! Be the bigger person or whatever bullshit.

“Ya, what are you doing?” You push him away with your index finger to his stomach, leaving a bigger gap between the two of you as you stand on the moving train. “Ji, personal space.” 

“We’re literally cramped in this train like canned sardines, Y/N. I’m just trying to make space for the people coming in.” Jisung fibs in retort, unknowingly timing his words perfectly with the train making a stop and justifying his next action of taking a step closer to you. This time, he makes sure that he’s towering over you and blocking the creep behind him completely by moving his hand over to the train handle right next to where your hand is. “Don’t make it weird!”

Your expression is surprisingly unwavering now, clearly unamused by his boyish quips. “You’re the one making it weird! You keep hovering over me.” 

“Sure, sure, whatever you say.” He rolls his eyes, instinctively steadying you with one hand when the abrupt movements of the train pushes you slightly forwards. “Oops, careful there.” 

When Jisung takes one last glance at the creep and finds him still looking over your general direction, the boy finally snaps and sends a little spell over the man’s way, one that makes him itch all over and ties his shoelaces together. This is the last time, Jisung swears to himself with a chuckle under his breath, oh what the hell? Punishing creeps is kinda funny.

two out of six months

The first time Han Jisung spots a red heart that he can collect, it’s 2 months into your candidacy exam and he makes the surprising decision to prolong collecting it by several days. It’s not that Soonyoung from your Math class is aware of this. As far as she knows, Jisung is simply stringing her along much like he does with every other girl he’s flirting with and she doesn’t seem to mind this fact. 

But you mind, you and your other friends do a lot. “It’s a powerful heart and costs 5000 points on the point system.” Seungmin even noted himself once on another day that Jisung left your class without Soonyoung’s crystal red heart. You mostly agree on this, coupled with the fact that you can’t steal the heart for yourself to gain more points in the race since it’s not for you. “Just take it, it’s not going to get any higher than that.”

No matter how much you or any of your friends nag, however, Jisung simply lets the days pass doing nothing much about it besides entertain Soonyoung whenever the girl approaches. As his sole competitor in your candidacy exam, you visibly feel the most frustrated out of everyone else by each passing day, especially at the thought that you yourself haven’t managed any red hearts yet. 

“It is weird, very not like him but also a bit like him if that makes sense?” Ryujin notes by the 10th day, after you recounted Math class to her as you take a short break together. Today, Jisung agreed to go to lunch with Soonyoung, only to tell you and Seungmin that even then he’s not going to take her heart today. “I mean knowing what happened between you two in middle sch—” 

You immediately shake your head before she could even finish her thought, “No, I don’t think that has anything to do with now. Definitely not.” 

“It’s not like that! I meant to say that this is even worse than when you had a crush on Jisung. The girl’s ecure is as red as red could go!” Ryujin exclaims, forcing you to cover her mouth with your hand just as Soonyoung and Jisung comically pass by your table at the kiosk to eat lunch together. Slowly prying your hands off once the pair in question are out of earshot, Ryujin then leans over the table and continues, “But even then, he’s not taking it to gain momentum in your exam. Aren’t you a little bit curious why?” 

You hesitantly shrug, “I mean, a little...but honestly I think he’s just being stupid. If I were him, I won’t string the girl along, not for this long anyway. It’s a waste of time and effort when he can just pick up the heart and reject her carefully.” 

“Then, maybe he has his reasons. If you know about it, you might get an advantage!” Yeji speaks up this time, joining your table late with a huge pile of library books on top of her laptop bag in her hands. As much as this girl has been busy looking for her brother, she also keeps up with her human world cover surprisingly well even when she doesn’t have to with all the studying that she does on the side. “One way to find out, right? I heard Felix’s not that busy these days back home.”

You feign a frown at the two girls agreeing in unison, especially at Yeji as she takes out her phone from the magical realm. “You know, you’re really good at sticking your head into a lot of things even when you’re busy looking for your brother.” You note dryly, making Yeji laugh while dialling Felix’s phone on the other side. “That was sarcastic, Yeji.” 

“I’m a great multitasker.” She winks before placing her phone at the center of your table then scooting her chair closer to you and Ryujin, effectively hiding the odd-looking device that projects Felix’s face almost immediately. “Hey Lix!”

“Hi Lix!” You politely greet along with Ryujin anyway, waving to the small projection of the prince on Yeji’s phone. By the faint greenery that surrounds him, you immediately assume that he’s back at home and tending to his personal garden. 

“I’m not in trouble, am I?” The younger Eastern prince jokes, greeting the three of you individually after. “What’s up? Seungmo and Sungie not with you three today?” 

“Seungmin got held back in class today for a TA offering and your brother’s on a date! Can you believe it? A lunch date with a human girl!” Yeji explains a little too excitedly, you and Ryujin immediately shushing her up. Giggling, the princess continues anyway, “Which is why we called! We just thought it’s a little weird that Jisung’s not trying to catch this red heart when it’s a clear advantage to his tally and maybe you’d know why.” 

All the while Yeji explains your purpose for calling, you slowly observe how Felix’s own expression morphs into that of genuine surprise. “What? He hasn’t taken it?!” He exclaims in response after Yeji finishes speaking. “Are you sure? That’s not very like him.” 

“Well, why do you think he hasn’t taken it, then?” You suddenly find yourself asking this time, earning you incredulous looks from your peers. Brushing them off, you simply glance over at Felix as he tries thinking of a reason himself. 

“Maybe he still can’t reject admirers for shit.” Ryujin snickers under her breath, making you elbow the girl harshly on her side. 

But surprisingly, Felix nods absentmindedly to this. “Maybe…”

“Are you seriously agreeing with that, Lix?” You frown. “I think he’s just up to no good.” 

“Hey, Ji can act weird and not be up to trouble too, you know.” Felix pouts back. “But honestly, I don’t know why he’s not thinking of taking it either, especially knowing how he’s so proud of getting to receive it alone. Maybe he likes this person, who knows?” 

The thought feels so foreign to you, Jisung genuinely liking someone, especially knowing what he did when you were much younger. But when you glance over to your friends, you also notice the same confused looks on their faces. 

“Han Jisung...liking someone? Enough to respect their feelings?” Ryujin muses out loud before eventually shaking her head. “Nope, sounds weird. Dangerous! Alien! Y/N, have you been noticing any other weird things from your housemate lately? Maybe he’s been secretly abducted by aliens!” 

“Oh stop it, Ryujin! Whatever it is my brother’s planning, I trust that he at least has an idea what he’s doing.” Felix sighs, running a hand through his blonde locks. In the background of his end, the faint voice of Changbin beckoning him over momentarily catches his attention. “If he’s being stupid again, then just let him be. If he does like this person, though, I just hope that he treads carefully while he’s at it. You know how precious witch ecures are.” 

“Oh, I know…” You murmur under your breath as you scrunch up your nose, unconsciously glancing over to Jisung and Soonyoung’s table where the two are laughing over something you can’t hear from across the room. When Changbin’s voice grows louder on Felix’s end, you then smoothly steer the topic to a close, “Anyway, sorry for bothering you at this time. Bin’s calling for you.” 

Next to you, Ryujin and Yeji agree with nods and smiles as Felix waves his free hand dismissively at this. “No, it’s okay! Just look out for my brother, yeah? I gotta go, Queen Lia just arrived for tea with me and my mom!” 

“Oh, then we’ll see you!” “Have fun at tea!” “Say hi to Lia for us!” 

Felix waves one last goodbye before ending the call. As his image disappears from Yeji’s phone, the princess is quick to pocket her phone back and turn to you with a raised brow, “So, what do you think? Even Lix finds it weird.” 

Personally, you think it’s odd. The thought that Jisung could easily be developing feelings for someone while taking your exam, to someone human no less.  You’ll probably never admit it to him but he’s been working hard in collecting hearts up to this point and you know him enough to know that he won’t let himself get distracted with something like this. “What is he planning exactly?” 

-

You’re giving Jisung that look again, through the boy’s reflection on the bus mirror no less as the two of you head to Chan’s studio where he has promised the two of you dinner. The same look you kept giving him during your welcome party just last month, probably without you knowing, rests on your tired features as you listen to music on your phone and rest your cheek against your propped up hand on the window seat you almost threw him out of the bus for. What did I do now? The boy can’t help but whine pitifully to himself as he steals another glance at your direction while scrolling through his phone. 

Jisung helplessly rakes his brain for anything that he’s done today that could’ve possibly pissed you off while pretending to look down on his phone, missing the way you shift uncomfortably in your seat as if you were going to ask a question. 

“So—” “I meant to ask—”

Jisung’s immediately closes his mouth shut when the two of you speak at the same time, eyes widening when he looks up and sees you already looking over at him directly. Simultaneously, you’re quick to look away from him and cough awkwardly, quietly mumbling out that Jisung speaks first. “Go ahead.” 

“What did I do this time?” Jisung immediately goes for it, pouting and sinking into his seat for extra emphasis. This visibly surprises you by the way your eyes widen slightly and you visibly freeze in front of him. “You’ve been glaring at me from the window since it started getting dark outside and it’s starting to get annoying but I’m too tired from today to think of everything that I did today to pinpoint where I ticked you off again.” 

Your lips curl down to a frown and you bring your propped up arm back to your side, sinking down your own seat to his level. “I wasn’t glaring at you!” 

“Yes you were—” “—No, I wasn’t!” “Yes you—”

“Okay, then, if I was glaring at you like you said, it’s because I meant to ask you something.” You huff before shyly looking away, gazing out of the window again. “W-Why haven’t you...whyhaventyoutakenthatgirlsheart?”

Now, Jisung is even more confused than ever from not understanding a word you just said. Raising a curious brow, the prince nudges you by your shoulder with his own until you look back at him again, uttering a slow, “What?!” 

You inhale slowly, as if holding your embarrassment in, before repeating, “Why haven’t you taken Soonyoung’s heart?” 

“I—really? That’s what you wanted to ask?” That’s it? So I didn’t do shit? Whew...

You nod, crossing your arms and looking away. “Well, don’t act so smug now! I’m just curious, it’s powerful and worth a lot of points, after all.”

Caught off-guard, it takes Jisung a worryingly long time to answer your question. He looks down on his phone first, with his emerald ring right next to it, before glancing over to the distant LED screen at the very front of the bus, announcing the next stop. “Just because…” He trails off with a reluctant shrug, avoiding the feeling of your curious gaze. If it were any other situation, maybe involving a lower-ranking heart like a yellow, green, or even an orange one, he would be laughing at you and teasing that you’re obsessed with his count or trying to compare it with your own. “You, of all people should know…” 

But it’s a red heart, one that’s made him a bit too flustered for him to admit to anyone, even to his own brother. “I don’t know what I’ll do with it.” He answers vaguely because of this, hearing a little ‘oh’ from your side. “I already told Soonyoung over lunch that I don’t see her like that but it’s still red. Her feelings are too sincere for me and I feel like I can’t take advantage of that, not for a competition.” 

Jisung doesn’t hear any verbal response from your side after this, not even when the LED screen ahead announces that you’re nearing your stop. When he glances over to you through the window, however, he catches a glimpse of the smallest hint of a content smile on your features. 

Only when the two of you arrive at your stop, while you’re following him down the stairs down from the bus, do you nudge him on his side once more and say, “I guess that’s sweet of you. Plus, you’re actually using your head for once.” 

Your soft smile momentarily catches him off-guard, freezing him on the sidewalk, until a passerby brushes him by his shoulder and snaps him back to reality. “Y-Ya! What’s that supposed to mean?!” 

You wave your hand dismissively at him with a laugh, running off ahead to Chan’s studio. “Last one to the studio is a lousy runner and won’t get dessert!” 

“Hey! Y/N! What’s that supposed to mean? Did you just call me stupid?!” 

-

The next day, a ‘secret admirer’ leaves a red apple, a milk box, and an unsigned heart-shaped note on your usual table as you enter Math class. Though the note has your name and its message typed and printed, a simple nonverbal spell that you cast over the gifts reveal a familiar fingerprint. 

“So, who’s it from?” Jisung asks, swiftly swiping the apple from your table and taking a huge bite. “How many points are we looking at here?” 

You scoff at his action, taking the apple for yourself and biting on the opposite side. “It’s from Soonyoung.” You answer with a mischievous smile, causing your competitor to choke. When you glance over at the girl’s table, your eyes briefly turn blue to see a pinkish heart for you. “I guess you don’t want her red heart, huh? Mind if I make a pink one from her into a red for me?” 

Jisung coughs violently, thumping his fist against his chest as he recovers. “Y-Ya! Don’t you dare!” 

three out of six months 

One thing you’ve been most looking forward to in this Crown Candidacy exam, besides seeing your cousin and friends currently staying in the human world and helping with Hyunjin’s search, is getting to see your cousin’s boyfriend again. Though the rest of your family doesn’t really approve of Minho, mostly since he’s the reason why Chan renounced his duke title in the first place and why your cousin might be permanently tied to the human world in the future, you’ve taken a liking to the guy since you first met him on a short visit 2 years ago and have been looking forward to hanging out in person once more after a long while. 

Minho makes Chan the happiest you’ve ever seen him since you were kids, cooks really well, travels the world as a performing artist, and is totally cool with the idea that his boyfriend is a wizard from another realm. Plus, he catches onto magical items really quick, having adapted quickly to using your realm’s inter-world mailing system hence how you’ve been keeping in touch up until this point. You honestly don’t see any reason to hate him, even before meeting him in person. If anything, knowing that it’s Minho that’s keeping Chan from fulfilling his royal duties makes you support your cousin’s decision even more than before. 

However, you’re already halfway done with your exam and Minho is still nowhere to be seen. He initially promised you that he’ll cook you and Jisung a meal as soon as you arrived but last-minute plans in his touring schedule with a ballet company held him back abroad, postponing this plan indefinitely and making you focus more on school and helping look for Hyunjin. 

That is until you and Jisung came home from your usual Saturday grocery errands to inhale the smell of meat and mushroom soup coming from the kitchen. 

“Is Chan cooking?” Jisung raised a brow at this, closing the door behind you and walking further inside the house. “It smells nice, though. So it’s not him?” 

You roll your eyes, biting down a laugh at this surprisingly funny quip. “That’s definitely not Chan.” You affirm anyways, excitedly walking past him to the kitchen where you find the familiar back of a person stirring a big pot of soup next to Chan who’s chopping up side dishes. “Minho!” 

Jisung follows you to the kitchen and watches from the doorframe as this said Minho turns around, opening his arms out to hug you as you quickly drop your groceries on the dining table and run towards him. Next to you two, Chan stops his own work and laughs at the sight, prying you away after a moment and reminding you, “Hey, hey, Minho’s tired from his flight!”

“Tired? Then you make him cook dinner? I don’t think so!” You giggle, clutching onto Minho like a koala while the said boy pretends to shrug you off. “I was wondering when you’re coming home! You haven’t even written since I came here, you jerk!” 

“My schedule was jam-packed until the other day but I promised some magic freaks that I’ll cook them dinner so I came home as soon as I can.” Minho laughs, hugging you back and only then catching sight of a confused Jisung. “Oh, hi there! You must be Han Jisung?” 

“Y-Yeah?” Jisung nods slowly in confusion, raising one hand holding multiple eco-bags up in a wave. He hates it when he’s not in the loop of things but more importantly, he hates it when it’s you keeping him out of the loop in particular. Who’s this guy?! “Sorry, and you are?” 

“Lee Minho! I’m keeping Chan hostage here on Earth.” Minho formally introduces himself, earning him a nudge from both you and Chan. “What? Should I curtsy? I know your family and Hyunjin’s doesn’t really require it but I don’t know about the others so—” 

Oh. At this, Jisung visibly relaxes with a chuckle and finally approaches your little group, settling his own share of the groceries down on the dining table before sitting down himself. Chan then takes this as his cue to reluctantly drag you over next to Jisung while he and Minho finish cooking. “No, no, it’s cool! We’re not at home, anyway.” 

“Okay, then, cool. You guys are okay with waiting for a little bit, right? The lamb’s not fully cooked yet.” Minho explains. “I was going to make you two a meal when your exam started but I got caught up in work so—”

“Yeah it’s fine!” You agree eagerly, taking out your groceries and organizing them on the table. “We’ll just fix up the groceries.” 

Jisung side-eyes you with an incredulous look in his eyes, something Chan definitely notices as his lips quirk up into a knowing grin before whispering something to Minho. “Why are you so chirpy all of a sudden?” He asks you, helping you take out the groceries and arrange them into their respective shelves. 

“What do you mean? I’ve been chirpy since this morning.” You scoff. “Why do you even keep track? I told you not to stare at me, weirdo.”

“Um no, you weren’t. You were complaining about me breathing next to you on the bus a while ago. ‘You’re not helping me get any hearts’ or whatever it was you were rambling about a while back.” Jisung points out with a huff. “And I don’t stare, that’s you! If anything, you’re the weirdo, always up my business!”

“Well, why wouldn’t I complain? I was at the market with you all day! You don’t know how to pick good vegetables and you kept flirting with the store clerks to try and up their orange hearts to pink ones! Then, you wore that stupid perfume again when I told you already that it smells bad! Now we’re at home and you can stay the fuck away from me.” 

“Ya, you little sh—” 

Across the kitchen, Minho giggles in amusement at hearing you and Jisung bicker live for the first time. You’ve always complained about this Jisung fellow in your correspondence and he’s never had a clear grasp as to why you’re always at this boy’s neck but now that he’s meet Jisung in the flesh and is starting to hear what you two are exactly fighting about, Minho can’t help but laugh into the mushroom soup. “So this is the troublemaker who’s been bugging our Y/N.” He ends up musing out loud. “I see why you need me home now.”

“Believe me, you should’ve seen them grow up together with the other kids. Always fighting over the smallest of things, competing on who’s better, and all that.” Chan rolls his eyes in disinterest, glancing over to you and Jisung as the latter starts chasing you around the dining area with a bundle of scallions. “What you’re seeing right now is barely the tip of the iceberg, Min.”

“Reminds you a little bit of us back then, don’t you think?” 

“Ya, and which one am I supposed to be?” 

The couple glances over their shoulders to see that you’ve now successfully snatched the scallions from Jisung with your magic and have started to hit him over the head with it. This then makes Chan squint his eyes suspiciously at Minho who only chuckles. “Babe, you and Y/N are definitely related, don’t you think?” 

“Do you also want to get hit with scallions?” 

-

Though Jisung was initially wary of Minho at the start of the evening, having only heard of him vaguely from gossip among the other royal kids prior, your cousin’s boyfriend slowly and naturally transitioned over the prince’s good graces as soon as the lamb chops and mushroom soup were served along with stories of Minho’s own adventures and questions about the magical realm. Now that he’s put a name and a face to the person that people back home simply referred to as the reason why Chan left (and who he’s admittedly been blaming as well for the sudden shift in your attitude at the royal courts), Jisung now genuinely believes that the people back at home jumped to their conclusions quickly about Minho. 

Minho’s really nice, Chan is really fond of him and you clearly support the two. In return, Minho looks out for you and Chan, you in particular as the older guy proceeds to drill Jisung shamelessly with questions on whatever it is that you’ve mentioned about him in your letters. 

Jisung didn’t even know a lot of the things Minho kept rambling on about while you tried so hard to keep his mouth shut next to him by helplessly trying to cover his mouth.

“Y/N talks about you a whoooooooole lot. Like, a minor inconvenience during their royal duties then they’re quick to talk to me about it.” Minho grins playfully, dodging your attempts at shutting him up while he eats his share of the pastry dessert. “When we first met and this candidate exam thing was first brought up, they talked about the other royals briefly but they talked about you in super great detail! Oh, and Y/N was rambling a lot about how you reacted to when they confessed to you in middle school and everything, it was so funn—” 

“Minho shut up!” 

“It was really funny!” Minho pins your wrists to the table after a while, gesturing towards Chan, sitting next to Jisung across the table, who then uses his magic to switch your places. This then effectively shuts you up as your flustered expression overcomes your face upon accidentally locking eyes with Jisung right after. “But I want to know what actually happened when you rejected Y/N at your magic school? I want the full scope of what happened just so I get both sides!”

“Y-Ya!” You protest, only to be silenced by Jisung this time who laughs as he swallows a mouthful of food. “Ugh, you’re enjoying this aren’t you?”

“Why do you still talk about that, anyway? It was a long time ago.” Jisung chuckles, propping an elbow up on the table and resting his cheek on his palm as he glances over to you with a smirk. “God, you’re in love with me, aren’t you?” 

“No, I’m no—” “So, Minho hyung, what did Y/N tell you about that?” 

-

It was in the 7th grade, on Valentine’s Day of all days even, when you confessed your crush to Han Jisung. You actually didn’t plan any of it to happen because you just thought of it as stupid, especially at the thought that almost everything Jisung used to do back then annoyed you and made you think of him as childish. 

But Hyunjin somehow slipped you an enchanted cookie on that day as a prank after you confessed at Ryujin’s party the previous weekend that you thought that Jisung was cute sometimes (”I specifically said sometimes and it was one time. Clearly, it wasn’t me who had a problem, right?” “That still doesn’t change the fact that 12-year-old you had a crush on me, Y/N.”). He told you that it was from a batch Felix made for their baking class, bluffing about its distinct strong vanilla scent as a mistake on the younger Eastern prince’s end. 

As it then turned out, however, the cookie was laced with a potion that forcefully exposed the true color that your heart reflected towards Jisung in front of the entire cafeteria while the two of you bickered over some mishap that happened in one of your shared potion classes. Being young as he was as well and feeling embarrassed of all the passersby that looked at you both, Jisung’s fight or flight response made him visibly cringe at seeing the surprisingly pink, bordering red, heart and childishly berated you for it until the potion wore off and your ecure disappeared back into the sleeves of your robes. You ran away crying while Jisung didn’t go to school for the few days that followed in embarrassment.

“You were like 12 back then, it happens.” Minho shrugs after yours and Jisung’s messy storytelling. “And for the record, Y/N, if Chan did that to me as Jisung, I would’ve been annoyed at him too. Your rants are totally valid.” 

“I’m eating my croissants in peace.” Chan complains, slapping the younger man’s arm. “Don’t drag me into this.” 

Simultaneously, Jisung glances over to you and sees a small pout rest on your features. “Well, I don’t know, it’s not really an ‘it happens’ kind of situation if you come from our world.” You point out, glaring at Jisung when you feel him staring at you. “Especially back then. My heart was looking pink and a little reddish for Jisung at the time—ew—which gave him the power to take it if he wanted to.”

Now, this is apparently new information to Minho as he then asks, “You can do that? I thought witches only have one heart so it can’t be taken away?”

“Yeah, exactly.” You nod. “Since we don’t produce the crystal hearts as infinitely as you humans do, it could only be taken if it’s pink or a higher color. It’s the natural law in our world.”

“And if that happens, the witch could become weak, controlled by the other witch who takes their heart, or killed.” Chan quips in this time. “That’s why marriage is sort of a permanent commitment back at home and witches are more encouraged to use human ecure when performing higher-level magic.” 

“That’s a bit of a stretch in our case, though! It’s not like 12-year-old me would think of killing Y/N back then.” Jisung purses his lips into a thin line at you, unamused. “You really are a bit dramatic sometimes, you know? What would I even do with your heart?”

“You were 12, Jisung. Who knows what you were thinking back then...if you were thinking at all.” You retort immediately, turning to Minho again after. “That’s why my family’s a bit wary about you, Min, no offense. With you and Chan in a relationship, he can give up his heart to you but if you don’t reciprocate it by exchanging with one of your own, he might get weak or die.” 

This then makes Jisung turn to Minho as well, curious as to what his response would be. 

Unfazed, Minho smiles and turns lovingly to his boyfriend. “Then, aren’t you lucky I’m obsessed with you, huh?” 

“Really now?” Chan chuckles, slinging his arm over Minho’s shoulder and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Then I guess I can stay here permanently, right?” 

You pretend to gag as you sip on your water, reminding the older guys that there are “children” in front of them. Jisung rolls his eyes and leans back in his chair at this scene, looking away at the tender display of affection across the table. The two of you don’t even have to check how the pair’s ecures reflect towards each other with your magic to know that they’re a matching bright red. 

When he looks over to you, he catches the briefest and fondest smile gracing your expression as you mumble about how “stupidly cute” Chan and Minho are being. Jisung knows he shouldn’t look, not in this moment when he sees you at a vulnerable state and you would slap him over the head if he teases you about it, but his eyes unconsciously turn green and peeks over at your ecure as it watches over your favourite cousin and his boyfriend. 

It’s a bright blue, a sign of deep respect and familial love for Chan and Minho. Jisung looks away immediately when you glance up at him curiously, forcing his eyes back to their natural color before he could accidentally see how your heart reflects to him. “What?” 

He gets it now. Why you’ve been so uptight in fulfilling your royal duties, snapping just a little more easily these days whenever he annoys you, and acting like a pushover to the elders who keep ordering you around back at home. You’ve been shouldering a lot of the responsibilities back home, both yours and the ones that Chan has left behind, all because you want your cousin to be happy in this world without worries. 

“Why were you looking at me?” You pout. “You didn’t check my—ya, Han Jisung!”

“I wasn’t looking at you like that! I was gonna ask you to pass me the cream puffs!”

You begrudgingly pass him the bowl of cream puffs, rolling your eyes before smiling at Minho and Chan again and changing the conversation to something else. “Anyway, Minho, you’re staying longer now, right?”  

- 

“I saw what you did at dinner, by the way. Y/N would beat you to a pulp if they knew you were looking into their heart, especially since we were just talking about it.” Chan speaks up after a moment of walking around Jisung’s room, tidying up the fallen music sheets on the ground and closing the curtains for the night. You’ve long stolen Minho from your cousin right after dinner hours ago to binge his tour videos and so he’s resorted to hanging out with Jisung, playing video games until the clock struck midnight.  

Jisung pouts as he tucks himself away in bed, turning to his side to face Chan as the older boy continues arranging his “messy” work table. “I looked at how it reflects for you and Minho, not at how it looks at me. Just that, swear.” He clarifies in between protesting over Chan’s actions (“It’s an organized mess!” “It’s a mess, Jisung.”) “It’s almost like your family’s sapphire when it looks at the two of you, bluer than how it looks when Y/N’s with the King and the High Queen. You’re more family to them than their own parents.”

This effectively freezes Chan in place for a moment, a small smile gracing the former duke’s features. “Of course I know that.” He replies, almost as an inaudible mumble from across the room. “That’s why it was so hard to leave at first.”

“Then why did you—?” 

“Because Y/N told me to.” Moving to the door and preparing to leave, Chan sees Jisung’s face and continues, “Believe me, I was even more conflicted than you’re being right now back then. We both know that my own siblings are too young to shoulder the job I’ll leave behind but Y/N told me that they’ll gladly handle it if it meant that I can be happy here. We argued about it a lot, I kept telling them that I can just juggle moving between the two realms, but you know how persuasive and stubborn Y/N can be.” 

The last comment makes Jisung chuckle. Of all people, he should know of it the best. “It’s just hard to argue with them.” He nods in agreement. “I heard they’re the one who got you this house and everything.” 

Chan nods, slowly putting one foot out of the door. “Y/N cares a lot, sometimes a little too much, that they end up sacrificing a lot and putting their own feelings last because of it. Since I went away, I’ve only ever been worried that they’ll just explode one day, actually, but I know you and the other kids keep them in check.” 

“I’d hardly call Y/N relaxed with me.” Jisung pouts, fiddling with his fingers nervously as he confesses this shyly. “I think they just find me annoying…” 

“Oh you definitely annoy each other but that’s just how you two are together. It’s all in good fun and that’s good, especially now that you’re going to take much more responsibilities once you go back home.” Chan notes with a shrug, briefly glancing over his shoulder as you and Minho arrive on the second floor. “Just be a little gentler with them. Night, Sung.” 

four out of six months

You know better than to expect nothing less from Lee Chaeryoung, one of the best investigators from your realm, as she helped Yeji lead Hyunjin’s search party. When you initially expected that she would finish scouting Incheon before the end of the semester, she came back with the most solid lead that anyone’s picked up since the start of the search party around Seoul with 2 months left on your time in the human world. 

Apparently, from the scouring she’s done beyond the initial parameters of the search, a few magic and non-magic folk living around the beach area have seen the Southern kingdom’s prince at a party on the night he disappeared, interacting with a strange group of people they only described by their unusually white hairs, matching snake tattoos, and icy blue eyes. What was even more interesting is that these people were still around the area when Chaeryoung visited but without any sign of Hyunjin. With this, she could only confirm that they’re also from the magical realm.

“They could only be Northwestern ogre witches, I’m sure of it.” Chan commented after hearing Chaeryoung’s report over dinner with everyone present. When Minho then asked about it, your cousin didn’t hesitate to explain, “A group of witches back home who were initially banished to the wastelands because they practiced darker arts and only collected black ecures. Lately, a lot of them have been turning up here and doing gods-know-what.” 

“But if they only want the artifact that Hyunjin recovered, why would they still keep him?” You ask, crossing your arms over the dining table as Chaeryoung showed you photos of the location she ascouted on her phone. “Hyunjin’s high-profile too, yes, but unless they want him to collect colored ecures for them, there’s no other reason to keep him captive when there are other magic folk there. Why him?” 

“Unless they have something bigger up their sleeves.” Seungmin notes with a frown, closing Chaeryoung’s phone as he grows more and more upset from across the table. When you and Jisung glance over to him curiously, he then meets your eyes and adds, “Maybe we shouldn’t let you two go with us on this.” 

“What?! Why?” Jisung is the first to instinctively speak up against this, sitting up taller in his seat. You echo the same question, albeit a little quieter when you see Chan nodding worriedly on your side. 

“I have a feeling that they might be after the two of you too from this.” Seungmin explains once Jisung calmed down a bit from his sudden outburst. “Like Y/N said, keeping Hyunjin to collect colored ecures against his will doesn’t seem like a good enough reason, at least not this long.”

“It’s timed perfectly, too, that they caught Hyunjin right before the candidacy exam.” Yeji quips in, belatedly nodding in agreement to Seungmin’s suggestion. “They might be luring you two specifically by using my brother.” 

“But that’s just a hunch for now! We don’t know th—” 

Chan’s entire disposition in a flash, slamming his hand down on the table a little too loudly and effectively shutting everyone up around the table including Minho. “That’s exactly why we can’t risk it.” He counters firmly and you know, just by the tone of your cousin’s voice, that he already has the final word. “Remember, you and Y/N are here first and foremost because you’re taking your exam. Keeping you on wraps with this search is formalities, at most. Anyway, there’s enough of us here who can look for Hyunjin. You two just stay put until we can sort this out and ensure that this problem stops interfering with the exam any further.”

When you peek over to your right to glance at Jisung’s reaction two seats away, you see him glancing back at you from the corner of his eyes before sighing in defeat. “And if they want our group separated?” 

“The house’s enchanted with protective spells. Minho and Ryujin will also stay and watch over you two while we extract Hyunjin over the weekend.” Chan notes, continuing before Jisung could complain further. “That’s final, Ji. We’ll take over from here.” 

“Don’t fret too much, Sung.” Seungmin adds comfortingly. “Anyway, if we find Hyunjin, we’ll all stay here for a few days before going back home.” 

In response, you hear Jisung slam his back on his seat hard before huffing childishly, glancing over to you as he opens his mouth. Knowing that he’ll throw a fit, you immediately shake your head, forbidding him from doing so. “Fine...” He murmurs under his breath with a sigh, knowing better than to start an argument with one of his best friends at this time. “Just—just bring Hyunjin back quickly.” 

Somehow, even when you understand where Chan’s coming from, you also feel somewhat bad for Jisung. You want to see Hyunjin too but your circumstances aren’t exactly favourable to let you be of much help. 

- 

As much as Jisung used to hate how Chan coddled you, he hates it even more now that the same behavior is directed towards him, especially in situations like this when he wants to actively help in Hyunjin’s search. The circumstances couldn’t have been more unfavorable to him now: the group finding a lead but at a time when he’s participating in an exam that has him more at risk of being targeted by creatures from the magical realm that have strayed to this world. 

On top of this, he hates how he can clearly see that you want to see Hyunjin just as much as he and everyone else does but you’re quicker to comply the moment Chan, and eventually even Yeji, put the two of you on house arrest for the weekend while the rest of the group goes to Incheon. It frustrates him to no end that you keep quietly complying to everyone else when you clearly want to do something else. And, as a result, you end up channeling your energy aggressively elsewhere much like today as you spend most of your Sunday cleaning and redecorating around the expansive house with Minho. 

“Can’t you two like, tone it down a bit?” Jisung complains for the third time this afternoon as he plays with the music software on Chan’s laptop, lifting his feet off of the coffee table in the living room when Minho passes by with a vacuum before pushing a levitating plant that hovers too close for comfort to his face. Somewhere, Ryujin has retreated outside to the garden in order to tend to more plants. “The house’s going to get thrashed after a while anyway.” 

“And why can’t you help clean?” You ask back in retort, fluffing up the pillows next to him as you occasionally glance over your shoulder to make sure that the levitating objects around the room aren’t falling over. “If you’re just going to complain while we’re cleaning here, you can just go up to your room since we’re done upstairs, anyway.” 

Jisung pouts, crawling over to the other side of the sofa anyway when you gesture for him to move. “The sunlight’s better here at this time.” He points to the glass windows. “Just finish up quickly already.” 

“If you want to get some sun, you can help Ryujin outside.” You poke back, moving over to the sofa across the coffee table. As you move, the hovering plant pots slowly move to where you want to relocate them to, one moving next to the sofa almost hitting Jisung in the face once more with its leaves. “Make yourself useful, Jisung.” 

The witch in question scoffs, closing Chan’s laptop and finally planting his feet back on the floor to a stand. Jisung also hates that tone you use when you order him around because it always makes him do whatever you ask without fail. “Fine, I’m going outside.” He grumbles, trudging to the direction of the back door leading outside and making sure to close the door with a loud thud. 

Out in the gardens, Ryujin is busy reviving dried up leaves and flowers while a few watering cans go around to water the trees and bushes. Upon seeing Jisung walking down the mini stairs with a pout and furrowed brows, the younger witch can’t help but laugh, “Y/N banished you outside?” 

“I’m supposed to help you but you don’t even look like you need help at all.” The prince continues to grumble, setting himself down on a foldable chair and crossing his bare arms over his chest. “If I do help, I might actually kill the plants. You already know how I’m terrible I am at healing magic.” 

Ryujin acknowledges with a hum, turning her attention back to Chan’s mini garden of camellias. “Just sunbathe, look around or whatever, I can handle this.” She assures with a smile. “I won’t tell Y/N too, don’t worry.” 

“I think I’ll take you up on that looking around thing later.” Jisung sighs, sinking into his seat and closing his eyes. “I’ll nap for now.” 

- 

“He just does whatever you say, huh?” Minho points out to you as soon as you finish cleaning the living room, tiredly taking up the empty space next to you on the couch with two pillows hugged close to his chest. When you open your mouth to protest, “I know I said it’s amusing when you two bicker over stupid things but it’s actually really nice and quiet when you two reach compromise like this. So peaceful.” 

“He just knows when to not mess with me. Don’t exaggerate it.” You scoff at this, pushing Minho away from you as you lift your legs up to the coffee table. “He knows that I feel the need to be busy when I’m on edge like this but he was in the way. The least he could do is either be useful around the house too or just stay out of my sight for a while.” 

“Don’t be too worried, I’m sure they’re all being careful and getting to Hyunjin soon.” Minho assures you with a small smile, waving his human world phone in front of you as it displays a flurry of messages from Chan. “If it makes you feel better, your cousin’s been asking me about you and Jisung as much as he’s been updating me of what’s happening.”

You frown at this, making Minho chuckle. “He’s been talking to you but not to me? I’m his cousin!” 

“He knows you’re redecorating his house in 50 different styles while you wait for him so he just asks about you through me. Don’t get it twisted, Y/N.” The older boy continues laughing, carefully shoving a pillow away from his face when you levitate it closer to him. “Anyway, they said that they’ve confirmed that the ogres are still staying at the beach resort so they’re planning to get to them tonight and confirm if they really took Hyunjin.”

Your expression visibly shifts more positively, eyes widening and mouth hanging agape. “Really?” 

“If things go smoothly, everyone, including Hyunjin, would be home really soon. Until then, Chan has asked me to make sure that you and Jisung don’t kill each other or go outside without permission.” 

You shove Minho once more at the last statement, mustering up a laugh this time. “Hey, we’re not that childish.” You point out with a pout before another thought crosses your mind. “Oh, right, I can tell Jisung, right? I mean, it’s just an update anyway.” 

“Yeah, go ahead.” Minho nods, poking you on your side to get you to stand up. “It’s also getting dark out, call Ryujin in too so we can reheat some leftovers for dinner.” 

You scoff at the thought of leftovers for dinner, standing up anyway and heading outside where the sun has indeed set on the horizon. As you walk down the steps leading down to the backyard, you easily spot Ryujin by the back gate as she flirts with one of your neighbors who holds an orange heart up her sleeve but it takes you a moment to see Jisung fast asleep under one of the outdoor umbrellas. 

“Ryujin!” You call for your friend, biting down your lip when the girl she’s been flirting with awkwardly looks away and your friend in question consequently glares at you for interrupting her. “Where’s Jisung?” 

“There.” Ryujin quickly points towards the outdoor umbrellas on the far corner of the backyard before turning her gaze back on your neighbor whose heart immediately turns a shy pink at this. 

You roll your eyes at this with a chuckle before heading over to Jisung, finding him snoring lightly and snuggling into a pillow despite the cold evening breeze. He doesn’t budge an inch when you call his name or poke his side, stirring only when you slap his cheek gently awake by instinctively swatting your hand away and mumbling a string of curses for you to go away. “What?!” 

“It’s starting to get cold out here. Come on, we’re eating dinner in a while.” You respond, taking the pillow from him and grabbing him by the arm to help him stand up. When he doesn’t budge, you resort to adjusting his hoodie at least so he doesn’t freeze himself to death. “Minho also said that Chan’s been texting him. Everyone’s okay so far and they’ll interrogate the ogres tonight, maybe even get Hyunjin if they really took him.” 

Jisung finally springs awake at this, jumping to a stand in surprise. “What? Really? Is there—well, is there anything else?” He asks quickly, stumbling over his words in shock while you drag him back inside. 

Ryujin follows along after a while, running to the kitchen to check what you’re having for dinner. You and Jisung walk a little slower as he rubs his eyes from his surprisingly long nap next to you, somehow not making a fuss this time about your linked arms. 

“Sadly, that’s only what I got from Minho a while back so I guess we’ll have to wait until tomorrow morning for anything new.” You answer his previous question as you head to the kitchen where Ryujin and Minho reheat leftovers and make some new side dishes. When you see Jisung’s ears perk up slightly at your words, you quickly add, “Don’t try staying up late just for an update. You should get some more sleep after dinner so you don’t look like a ghost when we see Hyunjin again.” 

He scoffs at this, sitting down on the dining table and dragging you along with him on the adjacent seat. “How can I sleep if I know that we’re so close to seeing Hyunjin again after months? I’ll stay up late if I want to!”

“And I’ll kill you two if you stay up all night then get all cranky tomorrow when you have to get to class.” Minho cuts you off before you could even speak, setting the dishes down on the table. “Okay, eat up!” 

“That was him, not me.” You shrug at Jisung’s semi-permanent pout with a chuckle, receiving a plate and utensils before thanking Minho for the food. “Eat up, Ji.” 

You don’t even have to glance back over to his direction to know that he has his usual determined look plastered over his face again. Because of the new update on Hyunjin’s situation, he’s suddenly more alert now that he might actually take you up on staying awake the entire night. 

-

“Jisung, are you awake?” 

Jisung doesn’t really expect you to hold true to your word and check up on him at 3 AM when Ryujin and Minho have both gone to sleep. You suddenly knock on his door while he’s in the middle of a song he’s been trying to write on his guitar lately, startling the poor boy who almost falls off of the window and causes a big fuss about it. 

“Are you okay in there?” You ask worriedly from outside after knocking for the 4th time, the doorknob clicking gently after. When only shuffles reach your ear on the other side, you immediately add, “Hey, I’m coming in!” 

Jisung doesn’t even have time to protest, catching a glimpse of you going in and closing the door as a tray of mugs trails behind you. Quickly hiding the guitar by the curtains, he clumsily scrambles up to a stand and retrieves the tray from the air, “H-Hi! You made...tea?” 

“Those two mugs are for me.” You pretend to swat his hand away jokingly, joining him on the small balcony on the other side of his window. Spotting his guitar hidden haphazardly on the side, you’re quick to pick it up and slide it over your lap while Jisung’s occupied with the tea, strumming a few chords. Only then, do you also notice his music sheets strewn across the balcony, all labelled with the word ‘sunshine.’ “I didn’t know you brought this along. It still plays good, I suppose, but do you still play badly?” 

Jisung scowls at you as he sets the tray down next to his notebook, sitting down criss cross once more before swiftly snatching the guitar from your hands. “I play better than you, at least.” Ignoring your protests, he then strums a few chords of his own and continues, “Why are you still awake, anyway? Don’t you have a 9 AM later?” 

When he turns to you, he sees you taking a sip of your tea first before answering, “I feel like ditching,” a statement he’s definitely never heard from you before by the way his eyes widen in surprise. “Don’t act so surprised! Uni’s just a cover and a way to get hearts while we’re here in the human world, anyway. Since everyone could be here later and there’s a possibility that we’ll see Hyunjin again with them, I wouldn’t want to miss a second of him back.” 

“Don’t tell me, am I rubbing off on you?” Jisung snickers playfully. Deep inside, however, he’s undoubtedly a little impressed. After all, it’s been a while since he’s seen you so carefree outside of royal duties. “This is bad. We’re still competing, you know!”

“Tch, don’t push it. My current count’s quite high so I’m not that worried.” You shake your head in disbelief, leaning back against the windowsill and gazing ahead to the brightly-lit city. “It’s just that it’s been 5 months since Hyunjin’s gone missing and Yeji started combing every inch of Seoul, only to find a lead out in Incheon. I want to see him as much as you do.” 

Jisung nods slowly in agreement, picking up the second mug of tea and taking a sip. It’s chocolate matcha, the flavour you always craved on elementary school field trips back in the magical realm whenever you missed home or so Felix once said. “It’s been that long, huh? And we’ve been here taking our exam for 4 months now.” He muses out loud between sips of tea, warming him up in an instant against the unusually cold night. “Time flies a little weirder when you’re on the other side of the moon, don’t you think?” 

“I think you’ve just been having too much fun flirting with humans.” You point out, gesturing over to his emerald ring. Over the months, you’ve noticed that the vessels grow warmer every time you reach a thousand points which is roughly every 100 hearts or so. In the rare moments these days that Jisung’s ring has accidentally brushed against your skin, usually at the bus or when passing dishes along, the stone feels intimidatingly hot and almost burning. “How much do you have already?” 

“Enough to win against you.” He teases playfully as he hums along to his song, making you scoff. “I mean, it’s been fun. Gaining a lot of ecure here has made my magic feel more powerful but, still, I can’t help but think sometimes that this whole exam would’ve been fun if the 4 of us were complete.” 

You take another sip of your tea, listening along to Jisung’s humming. “If Hyunjin didn’t disappear beforehand and scared off Lia and her parents from letting her compete...yeah, I guess it would’ve been much more fun if we’re all competing together and the exam duration was 1 year like normal.” Thinking about it more, you end up chuckling at imagining how this whole exam could’ve gone differently. “But, at the same time, it’s been fun competing with you so far.” 

“Going soft on me?” He raises a brow with a smirk. “I know we’ve been stuck to each other like glue for the past months but you should look out for that heart of yours, it might turn pink for me again.”

“I mean you’ve put up a fight so far. It’s a professional compliment, don’t exaggerate it.” You roll your eyes with a slight snicker, making him laugh. You purposely ignore his last comment, though, knowing that he wouldn’t really look into your feelings for him, anything but that. “Maybe you’re the one who’s going soft on me. Seungmin told me about the purple hearts.” 

“He what?!” Jisung exclaims, his smug expression instantly morphing into panic as he almost throws his guitar off of the balcony. “Wait, I can explain!” 

You shake your head and wave your hand dismissively. “No, you don’t have to! I understand.” You assure with a laugh, placing your hand on his nearest shoulder and making him sit back down when he wobbles over the messy and narrow space. “Though, yeah, I probably would’ve yelled at you if Seungmin told me any earlier but it’s all said and done now, anyway. I appreciate it, actually.” 

“A lot of guys were being creeps to you so I thought...I got protective, okay? Ryujin and Yeji were getting stares too so even Seungmin would do the same thing to protect them.” Jisung pouts. “I know we’re in a competition and we’re supposed to rake up a bunch of hearts but your dignity’s much more important than some stupid crown...” 

“I know, and I also know that you would’ve done it for Lia if she were here.” You nod understandingly, mustering up a small appreciative smile. Jisung can be sweet if he wants to, you conclude internally. “Ah, seriously, just imagine if there was 4 of us competing. This would’ve been much more fun and less stressful. You would’ve gotten your ass handed to you when you wanted to race to the moon.” 

“Tch, Hyunjin would’ve taken all of the red ecures for himself.” Jisung adds, sharing in your quiet laughs now that the conversation’s shifted once more. “Much like how he charms everyone back home. He might even win, like he always does in every challenge the elders give us. He’s just the favourite!” 

“I can’t wait for him to come home safely. He’s been gone for too long.” You sigh against your tea, tiredly adjusting to the uncomfortable space of the window. Seeing this from the corner of his eyes, Jisung doesn’t hesitate to pass you a pillow and nearby blankets this time which you’re more than grateful for. “I can’t wait for all of this to be over and go home, just visit again when I feel like it.” 

“Me too. I can’t wait to see him.” Jisung sighs, peering down onto the balcony as he adjusts his guitar on his lap. “And I can’t wait to go home, too.” 

And just then, the car that Chan used to drive everyone over to Incheon materializes at the front porch, spewing out Chan, your friends, and Hyunjin who’s supported by Seungmin and Yeji.

five out of six months 

Hyunjin sports distinctly black cuts and gashes across his arms and legs when you greet the group in front of the house, similar to the ones Chan and Changbin also sported one time when the two also had an encounter with dark magic. Limping on his right leg and supported by his arms, Yeji and Seungmin used their magic to lift him over to the nearest sofa once they’ve reached the other side of Chan’s protective spell from the front door while the rest of the group crash into the vast expanse of the living room. 

“I tried healing him as much as I can so it’s easier for you and Ryujin.” Seungmin huffs, tiredly sitting down on the ground by the coffee table. “He’s mostly fine, just exposed to a lot of dark magic.” 

“And you guys? Are you okay? Is anyone else hurt?” You ask worriedly, darting your eyes over to Chan, Yeji, and Chaeryoung who all individually affirm to you that they’re not nursing any big injuries. “What happened?” 

At that moment, Jisung arrives in the living room with a half-sleepy Minho and a frantically running Ryujin who immediately makes a beeline to Hyunjin and Yeji. Standing next to you, he echoes the exact same question to Seungmin. “What happened? Is Hyunjin going to be okay?” 

You kneel down in front of Hyunjin, right next to Ryujin, and examine the cuts and gashes. Meanwhile, Jisung sits next to Seungmin while Minho runs over to Chan. “Turns out, they’ve been keeping Hyunjin to try and get him to activate the artifact.” Seungmin answers Jisung’s question after a moment, taking out the stolen compass that Hyunjin was supposed to retrieve from this world. “Then they heard that you and Jisung were going to proceed with the exam. So they tried using him as bait as well but the protective spells the elders casted on you two made it hard for them to find you even when they planned to separate our group.” 

“We got there before they could manipulate my brother into it with dark magic.” Yeji continues tiredly in between casting her own spells, making her smaller wounds and a sprained ankle disappear. “They were quite hostile but we managed. It’s just that Hyunjin still hasn’t woken up since we took him.” 

“Then aren’t you glad we stayed at home, Ji?” You mumbled under your breath as you and Ryujin casted spells to identify the magic needed to heal the half-conscious Hyunjin’s injuries. “Hyunjin’s probably not waking up because of exposure. We’ll have to determine just how much dark magic those witches used.” 

Behind you, Jisung grumbles stubbornly at your comment. “So, is Hyunjin okay? What’s the diagnosis?”

Hovering your hand over Hyunjin’s chest, his heart suddenly reflects a horrifying black over your magic and making yours and Ryujin’s eyes widen. “Oh no…” 

“What?” Suddenly, Jisung’s next to you and peering over Hyunjin’s ecure. “What the hell? Why is his heart black?” 

Ryujin then places her hands over Hyunjin’s forehead, going through his fresher memories as her eyes turn a bright blue. “He’s...it’s an ancient spell, a really powerful one.” She eventually concludes, turning to Chan after. “Chan, do you think you can take a look at this?” 

Across the room, Chan stands up with Minho’s help, having just treated a healing cut on his leg, and sits on Ryujin’s other side to briefly access the same memories. “The three of us can do it,” He gestures to you and Ryujin with pursed lips. “But it’ll take hours and a whole lot of ecure. We’ll need to purify his heart with an equally powerful spell.” 

From the corner of your eye, you see Jisung immediately turn to you in worry, as if he already knows what you’re going to say. “Y/N, don’t—”

But you’re already reaching for your locket, forcing the stone to reveal its contents. “I can give up mine. It’ll save you both your energies and time.” You assure, tuning out Jisung’s protests.

“A-Are you sure?” Ryujin asks worriedly, echoing Jisung’s concerns. Next to her, Chan shakes his head at you in equal concern. “Y/N, these are your ecures for the candidacy exam, you can’t just—not right now when you’re almost do—”

“That’s not important right now. What’s important is that we save Hyunjin.” You nod without any hesitation. “Anyway, I have enough for both purifying Hyunjin’s heart and healing his wounds. It’s fine.” 

You then take out more hearts from your locket, the clumped crystals of oranges, greens, pinks, and reds hovering above Hyunjin as he continues lulling in and out of consciousness and his body tries rejecting the prior spells Yeji casted to help him heal. Before you could fully empty out the vessel, however, Jisung’s hand with his emerald ring flies over yours to stop you. “Wait!” He exclaims, startling you, Ryujin, and Chan. “I’ll give up some of mine too. Don’t empty yours out.”

“Ji—” 

“—Y/N.” He snaps frustratingly, raising his voice and confusing you further. “Please, let me help! I don’t want you to empty your count, I’m not letting you.” 

This seems to effectively catch you off-guard. Jisung then takes this as an opportunity to stop you, not letting your hand go while he summons his own collected hearts out from his ring and firmly making sure that you don’t argue with him further until Chan has reluctantly made sure that you have enough ecures to convert into magic. Even then, he doesn’t let you go by your hand and instead moves his over to your free hand while Chan instructs you and Ryujin on how to purify a black heart. 

“J-Jisung.” You call for him once your initial annoyance of him stopping you has died down, eyes widening when he glances back at you with worry. “I need my two hands.” 

“Oh, shit. Sorry.” He lets go of your hand immediately, keeping his hands down on his lap before leaving the three of you to check on Seungmin, Yeji, and Chaeryoung. “Sorry…”

You cough out awkwardly as he leaves, glaring at Ryujin when she musters up a teasing smile despite your current predicament. 

“He’s right, you know.” Chan comments after a while, instructing you the following spells while the dark color of Hyunjin’s ecure fades to a glowing white. 

“Don’t start.” When you send a glare over your own cousin’s way, however, he quickly drops the subject with a shrug. 

Purifying a darkened heart, as it turns out, lasts until the very break of dawn as the three of you exhaust the ecures you and Jisung have put out to heal Hyunjin. As time ticks by agonizingly slow for Hyunjin who could only lay back on the sofa and absorb all of your energies to heal himself, Minho eventually gets everyone to clear the living room and sleep in the much more comfortable guest rooms after making sure that no one is greatly injured before hurling himself to the kitchen and make breakfast. 

But you see Jisung stay from the corner of your eye, taking up space on your opposite side to steal glances at you or comfort Hyunjin. From the way his eyebrows furrow over his sleepy eyes and how he refuses to leave even when you awkwardly tell him off, you could tell that he too can’t make out your previous exchange. 

“—Y/N. Please, let me help! I don’t want you to empty your count, I’m not letting you.” You know that he acted the way he did because it was Hyunjin that you were trying to save, one of his best friends. But the way he sounded so angry, the way he snapped at you in the spur of the moment, a small part of your thoughts wants to make you think that he had other reasons for doing what he did. 

“Hyunjin? How are you feeling?” Chan asks after 2 hours of nonstop spellcasting, halting you and Ryujin in your steps after. “Can you sit up?” 

Your eyes turn blue at the same time you see Jisung’s turn green, surveying Hyunjin’s heart for any hints of leftover dark magic. Meanwhile, Hyunjin struggles to sit up with Jisung’s help, tiredly groaning under his breath. “Much b-better.” He manages to stumble out after a moment, mustering up a small smile despite the dizzying and overwhelming fel. “Thanks, you guys.” 

You sigh in relief, resting your back against the coffee table behind you before nodding. “Finally…” 

“Come on, Hyunnie, I’ll move you upstairs.” Chan volunteers, standing up from his position on the floor and briefly stretching his arms out. Turning to you, Ryujin, and Jisung, he then adds, “You guys get some rest too. Just skip for today and tomorrow. I’ll write to everyone back home.” 

You don’t even argue against your cousin this time, finding yourself nodding when he gives you the same look he always does whenever you intend on shouldering some work for him. Standing up from the floor, you, Ryujin, and Jisung then head upstairs in silence. 

The entire walk, you feel Jisung stealing glances over to you but you decide to not act on it, shaking your head when he suddenly opens his mouth to speak before the two of you could go on your separate ways. 

“Y/N, wait—” “Goodnight, Jisung.” 

-

Growing up, Jisung has always relied on two people in helping him through the crisis of accidentally going too far with you: Chan and Felix. Chan, obviously, because he’s your cousin and the only other friend he has who harbors an inkling of a braincell and Felix because he’s everyone’s favourite and he knows the kinds of snacks that get on your good graces. These moments when he’s actually pushed your buttons too far are rare (as much as the two of you like to express your annoyance over each other, you’ve actually come to understand that this is just your dynamic growing up), but Jisung personally keeps a list of steps to do in situations like this anyway. Now more than ever, it seems, because suddenly, it feels weird and awkward being around each other—and not the usual kind. 

But as fate would have it, Chan is busy working out how to safely get Hyunjin home and explaining to the elders what happened. If normally Jisung would be asking Chan first about you and what he could say when he confronts you, this time he’s asking all of them to his twin brother who’s more than willing to listen (after listening to Yeji, Ryujin, and Chaeryoung gossip everything to him prior, of course).

“Why did you do that anyway?” Felix points out on the other side of the call, snuggling into a pillow as night falls on both realms. It’s been 3 days since Hyunjin returned and both the house and the officials back at home have been busy arranging his return with Yeji, Seungmin, Ryujin, and Chaeryoung; only allowing for the twins to talk in the late hours of the night. “And you said it angrily too from what Ryujin told me. No offense, bro, I’d feel a little weird if you raised your voice at me, too, then offered up half of your collection on their behalf.” 

Jisung groans in frustration, running his hand through his hair as he shuffles uncomfortably around his bed sheets. “I don’t know, it’s just...I was thinking of a lot of things.” 

“Like what?” 

“This candidacy exam, what Chan told me beforehand, Hyunjin, Y/N…” The older twin purses his lips, taking his eyes away from Felix to gaze down at his hands. The emerald ring is much cooler now after losing ecure but somehow, it feels heavy on Jisung’s ring finger. “I thought that it’d be unfair if they lose all of their ecure at this point in the race, trying to save Hyunjin, then the elders might not be too pleased about it when we return. But most importantly, I thought about what Chan told me when Minho first arrived, about how Y/N’s always jumping at every opportunity to help other people without thinking too much of themself. I was right there with my own vessel of hearts for them to use and if I just let them empty out theirs, then I’d be letting them get the short end of the stick in the long run again.” 

Felix nods along understandingly at his brother’s words, all the while trying to hide a smile behind his hand. So Yeji was right! “So why did you call me, then? You seem to have your reasons sorted out, just tell Y/N what you told me.” He shrugs after Jisung’s extensive speech, giggling at the dramatic reaction that he receives from his brother after. “I know you guys aren’t those emotional kinds of people to each other but you said so yourself that Y/N’s been quieter these days and that it’s been eating at your conscience. I say you just go for it and tell them how you feel.” 

“I’m not you, Lix. Y/N’s going to laugh at me.” Jisung pouts helplessly. “I can’t just tell them that.” 

“You’re so dramatic! It just implies that you care about Y/N like a decent human being. Anyone in your situation who knows what you know about them would’ve been considerate enough to do the same thing.” Felix argues back, rubbing his temples at how the older boy’s acting. “Don’t get it twisted, brother...unless you want it to, of course.” 

“Ya, and what’s that supposed to mean?!” 

“Figure it out yourself.” Felix sticks his tongue out teasingly before laughing and waving a dismissive hand. “Anyway, Yeji told me that Y/N’s been craving blueberry pancakes lately. You can just make them right now and give it tomorrow so you don’t have to go out.” 

“If anything, I want to leave the house right now and never come back.” Jisung grumbles back in frustration before sighing in defeat. “For the first time, I can’t believe you’re no help at all, Lix. I’m hanging up.” 

“Tch, you just can’t handle the truth, Sung. Anyway, I have to go too, mom and dad are asking me to come to this thing. I’ll update you on it later! Love you! Bye!” Felix then waves to the call one last time before hanging up, leaving Jisung in the uncomfortable silence of his room. 

Jisung sighs against the heavy blankets, throwing his phone to the other side of the mattress before ultimately deciding on standing up and heading to your room across the hall. Fuck it, he thinks to himself, it’s not like I like them or anything like that! Nothing to worry about! Let’s not get it twisted. 

When he opens the door, however, the first person he unexpectedly sees outside the hallways is you just as you close the door behind your own room. “Y/N!” He ends up blurting out loud in the moment, catching your attention with wide eyes. Not knowing what else to say, the first thought that comes to mind is, “Are you going to Hyunjin’s room?” 

You furrow your brows in confusion, shaking your head slowly. “No, I’m going to the kitchen?” 

“O-Oh.” He runs his hand through his hair once more in nervousness, nodding along and hiding the heat rising up his neck in embarrassment. “Well, I’m going there too. Mind if I join you?” 

You simply nod in response, walking down the end of the hallway with him in relative silence. He hasn’t seen you much since Hyunjin’s arrived either since you spent most of your time checking your mutual friend for his condition and brewing tea. The dramatic gears in Jisung’s head would like to think that it’s just pure convenience. 

“So, what did you and Felix talk about?” “How’s Hyunjin?” 

Jisung glances over to you on his right just as you mirror his actions, the gesture somehow making him flustered this time around as he’s quick to look away. “S-Sorry. Um, we just—talked about how things are back home.” He shrugs in his best feigned nonchalance, mentally cringing at how visibly awkward he looks as the two of you go down the stairs anyway. Not that it’s a lie, anyway, he and Felix did talk about other topics besides you. “Everything’s pretty busy back home since the elders are talking about how Hyunjin coming back is going to affect the exam now.” 

“Oh.” You nod along almost absentmindedly. “That’s...yeah, I’ve heard about it too. It’s pretty hectic on my mom’s end right now.” 

“So...how’s Hyunjin?” Jisung chimes in almost a little too quickly, feeling even more awkward that he accidentally brought up your candidacy exam again. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

You purposely pretend to not notice anyway, answering his questions carefully as you approach a curve into the spiral staircase. “He’s regaining his strength at least. Still on bedrest but he should be okay by the weekend when Changbin fetches him and the others.” The two of you then pass through the living room to get to the kitchen, finding Minho and Chan cuddled up on one of the sofas as they watch a movie on the television. 

The kitchen, on the other hand, is deserted when you turn on the lights which Jisung internally thanks every guest in the house for before taking a deep breath. “About what I said back then, by the way…” He starts carefully, catching your attention before you could even detach yourself from him to open the nearby fridge. You freeze a few steps ahead of him, making the poor boy gulp nervously. “Um, I’m sorry that I raised my voice at you. I shouldn’t have done that, even when I was stressing out.” 

Much like when he actually did raise his voice, you momentarily freeze in your spot before eventually shaking your head reassuringly and moving over to the fridge. “It’s alright, you don’t need to apologize for that.” You add with a small smile, taking out the fruit bowl from the fridge. “Is that why you’ve been quiet these past days? It’s okay, really.” 

“I haven’t been—it’s you who’s—” Jisung stops himself halfway before he could even start another argument, biting down his lip before shaking his head. Walking over to the stove area, he then opens a few cabinets in search of the pancake mix while you shuffle around the area behind him. “A little, yeah. It’s just that it looked like it bothered you so it bothered me too.”

When Jisung then glances over his shoulder, he sees you approaching with the fruit bowl hugged close to your chest. “I thought about it a few times. After that, I just thought that you were bothered so I couldn’t talk to you after.” You explain slowly, voice growing louder as you set the bowl next to him. In the dim lights of the kitchen, he suddenly can’t tell if you’re lying or not. “But it’s all good now. Are you making pancakes?” 

Jisung nods sheepishly, finally finding the pancake mix in the deeper crevices of the cabinet and taking it out with a pan and spatula from the adjacent cabinet. “No, but you have to know that—that—”

“Hm? What?” You raise your brows curiously, taking the pan and spatula for him before proceeding to the stove and twisting the knobs to preheat. 

“You’re not letting me finish.” Jisung points out with a feigned disapproving situation while quickly preparing the pancake mix, one which you somehow find amusing enough to laugh at. “Come on, don’t laugh, my twin made me say a bunch of things then coerced me into telling you so I’d—”

“Yeah, I know.” 

“—So, I appreciate it if you’d lis—wait, you know?!” His feigned expression then turns into one of surprise once more as you nod and break into giggles. “W-What?!” 

“You were being really loud, Hyunjin was even complaining to me from the next room by phone that he can’t sleep because of you.” You chuckle in amusement, nudging him by the arm when you notice that he’s slowed down his mixing. “He said something about you complaining to Felix about something or whatever. I don’t know, I was on a call with Lia.” 

“Then why did you—? So, you just came out here for pancakes?!” 

“No! I wanted to hear what you were going to say! I didn’t hear any word besides the pancakes, I swear...well, not clearly at least.” 

By now, all of the awkwardness has immediately dissipated as Jisung stops mixing the pancake mix altogether to turn to you and cross his arms. “You’re unbelievable.” He pretends to roll his eyes and scoff at you, earning him a glare.  You then swipe the pancake mix from his hands, pouring them into the pan in big circles. “And you still have the audacity to make me do this pancake mix.” 

“Well, you’re already mixing it so might as well.” You shrug with a knowing smile before nudging him again by the handle of the spatula. “Now, go on, what were you going to say?” 

Jisung shoots you one last incredulous look but you effectively counter it by encouraging him, promising that you “won’t laugh.” “Ah, well...I just wanted to say that you shouldn’t go all out wasting all of your collected hearts at this point, not when we’re almost done with the exam.” He blurts out, gazing down and fiddling with the fruit bowl while you take spoonfuls of blueberries from it to mix with the pancakes. “I want to win but it won’t be fun if your tally suddenly drops, right?” 

When he looks up, you’re raising your brow at his last comment as you make more pancakes. “I mean, I know you want to do what’s best for everyone but you have to look out for yourself too. Geez.” With a sigh, he then corrects which makes you nod in agreement. “A-And I guess lean on us too. We’re your family and friends, don’t shoulder all of the work for us all the time.” 

“I doubt I can lean on you.” You tease, flipping through your second batch of pancakes to cook. When Jisung sends a glare your way, you simply stick your tongue out at him. “Kidding.”  

“I get all emotional and all you say is that you doubt you can lean on me. Unbelievable…” Jisung scoffs, stuffing his mouth with more blueberries in feigned annoyance. 

The blueberry-filled pancakes are all eventually set on a plate you find on your opposite side, stacked up as a tall tower leaning on one side. Carefully passing Jisung the plate, you then twist the stove’s knobs off and reply, “You also made me cook the pancakes you wanted to make for me so I think that makes us even.” 

“Y/N!” He whines between mouthfuls of blueberries as you move around him to transfer the pan and spatula to the sink. 

You sigh in defeat, chuckling when you meet gazes once more and see him sulking with his cheeks full. “Right, right, I’m sorry!” You then beckon him over to the dining table, taking the fruit bowl on his side. “A-And...you know, thank you for that. We’re all good now, right?” 

“If you are.” 

“Definitely. Want to eat with me? I still owe you that meal from our first day.” 

six out of six months

Your mother as well as the high jury of elders from back home eventually proposed that you and Jisung finish your Crown Candidacy exam while Hyunjin, should he eventually announce that he wants to participate as well in the incoming 6 months, do his under stricter supervision in the following year. This ensures fairness in your situations, that yours and Jisung’s efforts aren’t wasted in the past 5 months while also thinking of Hyunjin who wasn’t around in time for the traditional schedule of the exam. When Hyunjin was escorted home by Changbin and Felix, however, he briefly hinted towards a plan on refusing the candidacy and the exam. He left with the others before you or Jisung could even ask him about it. 

Regardless, you and your sole competitor easily fall back into the race as soon as Hyunjin, Yeji, Seungmin, and Chaeryoung have settled their business in the human world and went home, returning to university over a week later to regain the ecures that you lost. Not that it’s suddenly harder, anyway. Timely as it is, an announcement for a school festival at the end of the month has Jisung signing up to perform while you join the organizing committee to spend more time with your human friends. 

In the time that you’ve spent in the human world, you’ve made many genuine friends beyond collecting their ecure for your exam, especially in your classmates Yuna and Jeongin. Though they don’t know about your true nature, the two have unknowingly aided you a lot in your mission by accompanying you through the different activities around university. 

Yuna, in particular, was even the one who first mentioned the school festival to you, encouraging you to join the events committee with her and invite Jisung to perform. “It’s free backstage passes and we can see all of the artists up close!” She sighed dreamily on the day she showed you the gold and red poster that she picked up from the department bulletin board. “And come on, you’re really good at organizing stuff! We should do it together!”

And more hearts to collect, you thought to yourself when you accepted and attended the orientation.

And more hearts it was, indeed, as you spend the next 3 weeks meeting people from different colleges as you and Yuna are assigned to helping organize the music performance for the end of the festival. With your previous experience fulfilling your duties back at home, it’s unsurprisingly easier for you to juggle the work assigned to you—contacting students to perform, arranging the program flow, and turning the university football field into a makeshift mini concert stadium—with socializing and fulfilling your original mission of collecting hearts. 

Across from your room at home, on the other hand, Jisung has been busy spending the same time making his own music to perform at the music festival. You invited him to perform some time after starting your work with the festival committee—well, your friends insisted that you invite him and Chan after finding out that the famous DJ, CB97, is your cousin and that you and the “College of Psychology Cutie” commute home together (“Don’t tell me...are you guys secretly dating?!” Yuna had shamelessly asked during one of your meetings, to which you had to smack your hand over her mouth and improvise a cover story for you and Jisung that you live in the same neighbourhood). 

Jisung accepted at the thought that he could garner a huge crowd of hearts from this opportunity, cooping himself up in his room right after the following days that followed to complete his 15-minute set. Ever since, all you’ve heard coming from his room in the middle of the night would be guitar strums, drum loops, and the faintest hints of Jisung’s voice singing along to freestyle raps and lines. 

He mostly sang about love, of all things; something you, Minho, and Chan immediately noticed in the next 3 Friday nights that the three of you would be huddled in the living room to watch a movie, only to hear Jisung repeating lines as if he was talking to someone in Chan’s home studio. You wanted to ask about it out of pure curiosity, and just the general worry that he might not be looking after his heart while finishing your exam after all, but decided against it in favor of waiting for the final product at the music festival.

Fortunately, the month somehow went by in almost a flash as you and Jisung both got busy preparing and collecting more hearts on the side. Before you know it, it was the afternoon of the music festival and Felix is suddenly back in the human realm to accompany you and Minho to the school festival. 

“So, did he tell you what he prepared for tonight?” Felix asks you as the three of you walk around the festival grounds. Over the course of 3 weeks, you and a large team of student volunteers have managed to haul in food stalls, arcade booths, and rides from the quad all the way to the football field for this festival, amenities which you yourself haven’t tried yet because of your busy schedule but Felix and Minho have both been so overwhelmingly excited to check out even on the bus trip to your university. 

In response to the prince’s answer, you shake your head with a small pout. “I just hear him all over the house and I didn’t really want to pry if he didn't want to tell me anything.” You point out, the two of you suddenly changing the course of your mindless walk as Minho points to a crossbow shoot booth. “Why? Doesn’t he tell you what he’s been working on?” 

“No! He stops whatever he’s doing whenever we call, even when I ask him to play just a little bit of his work.” Felix is quick to mirror your pout, only for it to disappear when Minho jokes that the two of you help him cheat in the booth as he picks up a crossbow. “I thought since you guys are living together, you’d know better than me.” 

“Ah, you kids just wait until Jisung and Chan perform later.” Minho dismisses your concerns, holding the fake crossbow up properly while the staff manning the booth prepares the targets on the other side. “Now, help me win Chan a giant wolf.” 

You roll your eyes at Minho, shrugging at Felix. “I guess he’s right. Let’s just help Minho get a giant wolf first.” 

-

Chan and Jisung arrive at university 10 minutes before the music festival from Chan’s studio halfway across the city, initially unable to find you in the crowd of organizers as they set up backstage with Yuna and Jeongin’s help until you call Chan late that you’re “babysitting” Minho and Felix. 

“They’ve somehow teamed up and have been competing with the rigged booths since we arrived.” You explained over the voice call, the distant sounds of Minho and Felix yelling while tossing metal rings around almost muffling your own. “I’ll be on my way in a while as soon as Minho leaves the ring toss alone but Yuna and Jeongin are there. Just ask them if you guys need anyth—oh my gods, Felix, you won another plushie? That’s so cool! Wait, I’m on a call with Chan!—uh, yeah. I’ll be there in a second!” 

The commotion on your end makes the two boys laugh, even as you bid your goodbyes and end the call, but especially Jisung who’s been looking nervous since he arrived. Throwing his head back in a laugh as he tunes his guitar, he comments, “That’s a bit unexpected. I didn’t know my brother and your boyfriend would get along like that, and this quickly!” 

“Beating out rigged games sounds about right.” Chan chuckles along, seated on a plastic chair and running a quick check on his equipment. Turning to the younger boy, he then asks, “Are you still nervous?” 

“Me? Nah, I wasn’t even nervous to begin with!” At this, Jisung’s laughs naturally die down to an uncertain shake of his head. He dismisses with a scrunch up nose which Chan immediately raises a brow at. 

“Come on, Sung, I practically raised you with the other kids.” Chan proceeds to roll his eyes as Jisung’s brief confident facade crumbles down slowly. “What’s up?” 

The boy in question eventually sighs in defeat, shoulders slumping against the plastic chair he occupies. “Fine, maybe I’m a bit nervous! Just a little bit, though, I can still get on stage later! I mean, it’s not like performing here is gonna be different from back home like you said on the way here but…”

“But what?” Chan asks patiently, glancing up to see Jisung’s gaze fixed down on his yellow acoustic guitar. When the younger boy doesn’t respond immediately, he then continues, “I’ve heard bits and pieces of what you’ve been working on this month and all of the songs sound great. You’ll catch a lot of hearts tonight with them, I’m sure. What are you worried about?”

Jisung looks up from his guitar and opens his mouth to speak, only to get cut off when you come in the performer’s tent running and balancing different kinds of microphones in your hands. “Sorry I’m late!” You announce in between tired pants, catching both his and Chan’s attention as you pass the microphones around the artists with Jeongin who instinctively comes to your aid. “I was with my friends and they wouldn’t budge from the ring toss!” 

“I think I’m going to faint.” Jisung mumbles under his breath with furrowed brows, loud enough for only Chan to hear, until you approach them last with their microphones. 

“Mics?” You offer obliviously, holding up the last 2 hand mics in your possession. Passing one to Chan quickly, you then sit down next to Jisung and pass him his hand mic. “Hey, you’re up fourth, right?” 

Jisung glances over to Chan with a panicked look but the older boy simply shakes his head with a chuckle and focuses on his keyboard. Turning to you, Jisung then nods quickly with a hum before gazing down at his guitar and the laptop he’s set up on the table in front of you two. 

Immediately sensing his odd behavior, you then hover your hands in the space between the two of you in a quick spell, eventually verifying his nervous feelings. “Yeah, totally not nervous.” You chuckle in amusement, laughing even more when he turns to you and whines in complaint. 

“Ya! Don’t do that!” 

“Well, it’s not like you’re that good at hiding your nervousness!” You point out in defense, holding your hands up in front of you in between uncontrollable fits of giggles. When the glare he sends your way doesn’t relax one bit, you then fish out a small quokka plush from your backpack. “Anyway, Felix was kinda expecting that you’d be a little nervous so wanted me to give you this plushie he won at the milk bottle game with Minho for good luck. He would’ve given it himself but LUCY was already performing when we came here so he dragged Minho to the audience area before I could even bring him here.” 

You then place the plush toy on the table right next to his laptop, looking around once to make sure that no one is looking your way before mouthing a quick spell to shrink the quokka into something smaller that he can hang on his guitar strap. As you do so, Chan notices how Jisung’s ears are quick to turn red as he follows your every movement. “You can stick it to your guitar strap and bring it with you to the stage.” You point out once you’re done, only then noticing his stares. “What?” 

“Huh?” Jisung shakes his head absentmindedly, mentally slapping himself back to reality before scrambling to pick up the plush toy by the chain you added on top of its head and tying it to the small hole along the edge of his guitar strap. “O-Oh, yeah, thanks!”

You chuckle, just as Yuna suddenly calls for you to help in getting the next act’s microphone stands on stage. Standing up, you then pat Jisung’s shoulder reassuringly, saying one last, “Don’t be nervous!” before running off again to where most of your committee members are. 

Once you’re out of earshot, only then does Chan look up from his equipment once more but this time with a knowing grin and squinted eyes. “Yeah, Sung, don’t be nervous!” 

Jisung rolls his eyes in front of the older boy at this, securing the quokka plushie on his guitar strap one last time. “Shut up.” 

-

Your committee heads lay you off of work just as Jisung heads to the stage for his set, the small quokka plush you gave him dangling behind his fretboard with a toothy grin while he sets up his laptop and greets the energetic crowd. When you discreetly scan the people’s ecures while standing behind the curtains, you quickly spot a growing number of pinks and oranges. “Such a charmer.” Chan notes, eyes also blue when you look up at him. 

You nod in agreement, reverting back to your original color as more of your peers gather around the curtains to listen to Jisung’s introduction. “Um, hi, I’m Han Jisung from the Psych department.” You hear him greet with a shy chuckle over the microphone, earning him another wave of cheers. Behind you, even Yuna and Jeongin cheer despite Jisung having his back partially facing you. “This is my first time performing here at uni and the songs that I’ve prepared so please go easy on me.” 

You then turn to Chan again, taking a sideways step closer to him as a thought crosses your mind. “Hey, Chan,” You call for him in a lower voice, craning your head up when he leans towards you. “Have you heard of the songs he’s going to perform tonight? You were together before coming here, right?” 

“Only a little bit. We mostly talked while we were at the studio.” Chan shrugs in response. “I think he wanted it to be a surprise to everyone.” 

On stage, Jisung then checks his guitar one last time before announcing the name of the first song. “So, this first song is something that I’ve been thinking about since I moved here. It’s called ‘Close.’” He says, pressing play on his loops and singing the first lines of the song. “Can you tell me about you? You, seen from afar. I just don't want to watch. Yeah Just tell me about you.”

Jisung is a great performer, there’s no doubt about it. Though you’ve grown up hearing him sing and rap at your more casual events back at home, he always manages to surprise you every time he performs just with the way he enjoys himself on stage. You can see him smile widely from the side of the stage, his nervousness long gone as he interacts with the crowd and collects the pink crystal hearts that float above your heads. 

“He’s really good…” You murmur, more to yourself than to Chan, as you find yourself gently swaying to the song. “What was he even worried about? It’s a great song…” 

Chan glances knowingly at you, a small smile playing on his lips as you sing along to the next round of the chorus. “I don’t think he has nothing to worry about too, not right now at least.” 

“Hm?” “Nothing.” 

-

In truth, even with the positive response from the crowd and the amount of ecures he’s collected from this set alone, Jisung is still nervous for his last song. “Sunshine” was supposed to be just another warm-up song with barely a cohesive topic, a compilation of sketches about his experiences in the human world that he spent his free time on when he wasn’t collecting hearts these past 6 months. As more time passed by, however, and the time of your exam was suddenly coming to a close, they eventually took a different direction without him even realizing it until you were inviting him to perform at this music festival. 

The times that the two of you would bicker just to laugh at each other in the end, the competition that brought the bests and worsts in you, and your chocolate matcha tea and musings on the one time you sat down with him on his balcony. Eventually, you were all he was writing about. On top of the nervousness that comes with finishing the competition you’ve found yourselves in for half a year and finding out who will be declared the winner, Jisung was more nervous about the thought that you’re just behind the stage curtains with Chan, anticipating his next song. 

“For my last song, I picked this one for someone I know whom I’ve spent a lot of time with these past few months.” He confesses shyly in front of the crowds. Among the hundreds of people that came tonight, he easily spots his twin brother in front of the barriers with Minho, sporting the most exaggerated surprised face ever. “I was hoping that when all of this is said and over, we’d get well-deserved breaks...maybe music and tea at night again or something.” 

Jisung doesn’t have to turn around to gauge your initial reaction as he begins the song, Felix’s expression turning into that of giddiness as he looks over at the stage curtains is enough to set every gear in his head to pump out more nervousness. Instead, he pushes through until halfway to the song before he could steal his first glance over to you since beginning his set. 

With his eyes still an emerald green from scanning the crowd’s ecures, your eyes meet under the harsh stage lights as he sings the bridge. “This place is quiet without a sound ye ye ye. Quiet except for the sound of our breaths ye ye ye.” He doesn’t intend to look again, not in that split second before he’s turning his gaze back to the crowd of cellphone lights and LED signs, but he sees your heart’s reflection once more. 

Reminiscent of when you first confessed in middle school, a pinkish heart floats by the sleeves of your sweater, almost looking red if he just looked longer. You didn’t even turn away this time and simply just stood there, heat visibly rising up your neck. 

Reminiscent of when you first confessed in middle school, a pinkish heart floats by the sleeves of your sweater, almost looking red if he just looked longer. This time around, however, you don’t turn away to try and hide it. 

And this time around, Jisung doesn’t childishly call you out for it or ignores it. This time, it makes his own heart swell at the thought. 

-

The car ride home, with Chan on the wheel and three extra boxes of equipment most of the backseats in his SUV, is a comfortable and awkward mix of quiet between you and Jisung as the two of you are forced to sit next to each other in the cramped space. You sit by the window, using it as an excuse to peer outside and avoid any kind of small talk from the boys, while Jisung has hisi eyes glued to his phone while a sleeping Felix snuggles into his shoulder. The only human noise in the car, as it seems, is coming from Minho and Chan as the two recall the songs the latter and Jisung performed at the program. 

It’s even quieter at the thought that you, Jisung, and Felix will fly back to the magical realm tomorrow, something that Minho reminds you when he suddenly asks, “Right, what do you kids want me to cook for lunch later, by the way?” 

The question comes right as the car suddenly comes to an abrupt stop at Chan’s garage, masking the way you and Jisung simultaneously jump in surprise. You instinctively glance over to him after with wide eyes, before gazing over at Minho who has a poorly-hidden snicker on his expression from the front passenger seat. “Um,” You stutter out awkwardly, glaring at Minho when he smirks teasingly over your way. “Anything’s fine for me.” 

Jisung nods over to your direction in agreement. “Yeah, anything’s fine.” 

Minho nods with pursed lips, as if he was biting down a laugh. “Does crispy pork belly sound good?” He asks, earning him nods from you. “Okay. You guys have been quiet back here this entire time, you guys good?” 

“Yeah?” “Totally.” 

Clearly unconvinced, Minho shakes his head and scoffs before twisting his upper body to face front once more, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the car door next to him. “Oh, kids…” 

You roll your eyes at the comment before stealing a glance over at Jisung again, only to find the boy already staring at you. “W-What?” You manage to ask this time despite your initial surprise. In front of you, Chan has already turned the engine off and left the driver’s seat to open the back of the car. “You okay, Ji?” 

He hums almost absentmindedly, phone now set down on his lap as he fiddles with his hands nervously. “Yeah, um—” He stutters out, biting his lips down once. Briefly glancing at his side, he then gestures towards his twin and adds, “Wait, sorry, um, let me wake Lix first.” 

“Okay.” You nod awkwardly, deciding to unbuckle your own seatbelt and open the car door next to you. Jisung then gently shakes Felix awake, leading his brother out through the same car door since the opposite one’s blocked by more of his and Chan’s equipment. 

“You go on ahead, Lix, I’ll just talk to Y/N.” You hear Jisung say as the three of you now stand outside in the cold, levitating boxes of instruments and computers flying over your head and heading inside the house. 

Felix nods at this immediately, sleepily bidding you and Jisung with loose hugs before trudging back inside the house with Chan and Minho. 

Once the doors leading back to the house fully close on the two of you, only then are you engulfed in the same awkward silence again and the two of you, for the third time in the past 6 months, speak up at the same time. 

“So um—” “—Yeah, a while ago—” 

This time, the two of you chuckle awkwardly over speaking at the same time again. You then gesture for him to go ahead and speak first as you adjust your sweater’s placement on your shoulder. 

Instinctively, Jisung fixes your sweater for you before speaking, causing him to stutter a little. “S-Sorry, um…” He licks his lip awkwardly, retracting his hand as fast as he can and moving a step back. “Yeah, I meant to say that I didn’t...I didn’t mean to look at your heart.” 

Suddenly, at such an important moment, you’re speechless and frozen in front of Jisung. Your hands find their way down the hem of your sweater, absentmindedly playing with the loose threads as you shift your weight on the balls of your feet and stutter out your response. “I-I um…” 

Simultaneously, Jisung takes in a huge intake of breath and continues, “I looked at you because I actually made the song for you—well, about you but not in a weird way! It can be for you too, that is if you want it!—”

“Jisung?” 

“Ah, anyway, I’m losing track! Just, I looked at you because I wanted to know what you thought of it the most in the moment, you know—”

“Jisung…”

“And I didn’t realize that my eyes were still green and I saw so I looked away as fast as I could, I swear—!” 

“Ji.” 

“I know you don’t want me looking into your heart and stuff because of before. I promise I won’t do it again—” 

Realizing that he’s not going to stop in his ramblings, you then impulsively take a step towards him and grab him by his arms. “Ji, it’s fine.” You shake him gently, effectively stopping the endless flow of thought. “I mean, you already saw it and everything.” 

“But I—” 

“Just don’t lash out or stop talking to me again while I sort it out.” You shrug reassuringly with a sigh, reluctantly sliding your hands off of him and taking a step back again as you see him listen intently to your words. “It’s just pink, anyway, it can still go away like before. Just don’t avoid me again this time.” 

Though he’s clearly been listening intently, you see his brows furrow and his expression suddenly becomes confused towards the end of your words. “What?” He echoes helplessly after you. “No, I...why would I stop talking to you? That was a long time ago. I won’t do that now, I...” 

“Then just don’t take my heart or something.” You point out, almost like a question as his reaction confuses you similarly. “Anyway, that’s not the point, like I said, I’ll sort it ou—”

“Don’t.” He cuts you off immediately this time with more conviction, shaking his head and suddenly taking your hand. “Don’t sort it out. Don’t make it go away or anything.”  

“What? Why?” 

You’re pulled closer again, Jisung mumbling an incantation to show his ecure under his breath. “Look at mine.” He points out, a pink crystal heart floating over to your upturned palm as he holds onto you by your wrist. “If anything, I should be the one telling you to not take mine on the spot or something.” 

“It’s pink.” You muse out loud in surprise, the warmth of his ecure feeling overwhelming as it floats above your hand. “And it’s for me…?” 

Jisung rolls his eyes at this in disbelief, nodding patiently anyway. “Who else would it be for?” He scoffs gently, making the heart disappear before it could burn your palm. “I don’t know since when it’s been like that, maybe it’s been like that for a long time even I don’t know I’ve only looked at it while Chan and I were at the studio. All I’m sure is that suddenly I was writing a song for you and sacrificing half of my ecure count so you don’t lose easily in the exam and looking out for you and—just, this time it’s me who’s afraid that you’ll run away or disappear for a while if you knew.”

“So don’t...sort it out.” He concludes after unknowingly speaking at such a fast rate, heaving belatedly from this. “I like you now, I like you a lot, and I’m not going to lash out like when we were kids. Take my heart if you want just don’t change your feelings for me, please.” 

There’s a brief pause that follows, the only noise ringing in your ears being the unusually loud beating of your own heart as the two of you freeze in place. Jisung tries waiting as patiently as he visibly can in this silence, puffing air in and out of his lips as he fails at trying to conceal his recurring nervous feelings, while you gaze at anywhere but him because of the heat rising up your neck. 

“Listen…” He speaks up after a while. “I’m sorry, I—”

Fuck it, you think to yourself before stepping forward, shakily cupping his cheeks, and pressing a kiss to his lips. “Don’t say sorry.” You muster up a shy smile in between brief kisses. “You already know that I like you too.” 

bonus epilogue

When you return to the magical realm to the news that Hyunjin won’t be taking his own candidacy exam next year in favor of his own kingdom’s crown, the elders are quick to take your locket and Jisung’s ring to proceed with the final results. Since the decision takes at least 3 days, coupled with the fact that a major complication arose in the 6 months that you were given, Jisung was asked to stay at your castle until the jury could come to a conclusion and crown either one of you. 

The others would also occasionally come and visit (especially Lia who’s mostly kept up with your trip through Yeji and Ryujin) but since confessing to Jisung, the boy has been doing the most trying to sneak you away from everyone and your regular royal duties just to spend more time with you. 

“So this is what you meant with Sunshine?” You ask in the afternoon before the elders would summon you back to the throne room, the two of you hidden away in your favourite greenhouse garden. Today, Jisung has somehow convinced you to ditch a visit to Chan’s family in favor of just sitting on your greenhouse’s cushioned sofas and listening to him hum his songs until your mentors would eventually come looking for you. “Chocolate matcha and your guitar?” 

“Yeah, just a relaxing rest date with your crush.” Jisung points out next to you, his head snuggled into the crook of your neck as much as the guitar in between the two of you could allow him. On your opposite side, his cuddle rival, the quokka plush toy you’ve somehow managed to turn into a life-size pillow today, sits on your lap and occasionally pokes on the end of his guitar. “Why? Do you want to refill your tea? I’ve been getting Felix to teach me this spell to refill tea, you know. I’m getting it but chocolate matcha’s kinda hard to replicate.” 

You shake your head in disbelief with a chuckle, a stark contrast to how you’re internally flustered over the small comment on your favourite tea flavor. “Who said you’re my crush? Bold of you to even assume, Ji…” You pretend to roll your eyes, sinking deeper into the soft cushions behind you. 

“Baby, you’ll be taking those words back when I get crowned tonight.” He pouts, elbowing you gently before shifting to place his guitar on the side. With his hands now free, the prince then resorts to linking his arms with your free one and intertwining your hands together on top of the plush quokka. “If I win, I’ll make sure to banish this quokka first so you’ll be forced to cuddle with only me.” 

“Tch, Felix won you this quokka. You’ll have to duel with him first if you want this gone.” You argue, sliding the quokka closer to him so its face is adjacent to Jisung. “Plus, it kinda looks like you. If I get crowned and you’ll be away doing your own duties back East, I have something of yours.” 

“I think you meant that if I win and you’ll be staying here doing your own duties, you’ll have something of mine.” Jisung huffs pettily. “Maybe we should keep the quokka, after all. You might get lonely if I get busy.” 

You shake your head immediately with a chuckle, leaning more of your weight on his side. “Oh, no, no, no.” You correct teasingly, making him giggle along against your shoulder. “Who said you’re going to win later?” 

“Wanna bet?” He raises a brow and smirks, lifting his head briefly to glance over to you.

You roll your eyes at this, leaning forward to meet his lips. “You’re so competitive, babe. Give it a rest, you know I’ll win anyway.” 

[qqueenofhades]

so…now that we all know what you DISLIKE about star wars (and 400% fairly so, you have my full support here)…

what drew you into the universe, what keeps you around?

favorite characters, ships (OTPs or actual spaceships lol), overall themes, do you have a favorite random weird creature or robot that you adore? whatever you wanna talk about!

go off honey (again, but supportively 💖💖💖)

tax paid: the very nerdy star wars punk vest i made and the even nerdier matching vest i made for starsky

Lmaooo, entirely valid. You were like "star wars?" and I was like the drunk person at the bar who can't stop shouting about how much their ex sucks. But now that I have gotten all that off my chest, let's talk about why I love it (since if I didn't love it, I wouldn't have such strong opinions). Basically my feelings on the OG SW trilogy are similar to my feelings on the OG LOTR trilogy, as that tumblr post floating around somewhere put it: sure, they have flaws, but also, they're perfect. I have a complicated relationship with the prequels, as do we all, since George Lucas cannot write dialogue or direct actors to save his life (stick to what you're good at, George, hire other people to do the rest), but even they have their moments. Like. Hit me with that "Across the Stars" love theme, John Williams. Gahh. Just like that.

Because... Star Wars wasn't actually this omnipresent corporate global entertainment monolith when it started out. It was a dorky low-budget indie sci-fi film in the 1970s which everyone thought was going to bomb. But it told a simple and compelling story in an interesting way, everyone agrees that ESB is one of the best films/sequels ever made, and then ROTJ gave it a happy ending while it was still okay to do that. My main thematic gripe with the Disney trilogy (I will try to keep those to a minimum, lol, but I have to bring it up to compare) is that it very clearly fell into the "actual happy endings are naive and unrealistic and a cynical postmodern audience won't accept anything less than things being Bad" trap that, yet again, we have GOT to thank for. It obviously existed to some degree before that, but GOT blew it up to huge levels, where the only valid situation or character is that which is Grimdark and Depressing. Which, in my view, misses the heart and soul of what SW is all about??

Like. ESB is genuinely dark. ANH was this fun plucky little sci-fi film where the scrappy good guys won the day against the Nazi stand-ins, as they were supposed to, and then ESB comes along (speaking of John Williams, let us all chant together, DUH DUH DUH DUHDUHDUH DUHDUHDUH, DUH DUH DUH DUHHHH DUHHH DUHHH DUHHHH) and things go... wrong. Leia and Han are on the run for most of the movie, then get captured and tortured by the Empire and and betrayed (however unwillingly) by Lando. The Rebellion is attacked on Hoth (I tell you, those fuckin AT-AT walkers were SCARY when you see it as a young kid for the first time), and forced into hiding. Luke loses his hand, doubts Obi-Wan and Yoda and realizes that his mentors are fallible, makes dumb mistakes, and of course gets hit with The Most Famous Line In Movie History. But it's also just adrenaline and excitement. THE ASTEROID FIELD! THE HAN-LEIA BANTER! THE FIRST LUKE-VADER DUEL! THE FACT THAT YOU HEAR TWO FRICKING NOTES OF THE IMPERIAL MARCH AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE OH YEAH OH YEAH OH YEAHHHH!

But also then... Return of the Jedi. It gets shat upon for the Ewoks and reusing the Death Star as the Big Bad and being supposedly cheesy and not as Thematically Dark as ESB. Which is all kinda silly, in my opinion, but also, can we talk about Luke Skywalker's character arc and how he chooses possibly the most radical compassion ever demonstrated by a hero in an action movie, let alone a space opera. He insists that Anakin Skywalker is still in there somewhere and puts his own neck on the line to prove it. Luke doesn't save the galaxy by being a Badass Jedi. He saves it by throwing away his lightsaber and saying "I will not fight you, Father." He saves it by trusting that even in the depths of darkness, Anakin can come back from the charred ruins of Darth Vader and finally do what he was supposed to do all along. He can end Palpatine for good and all (we don't talk about "Somehow Palpatine has returned" because it's nonsense, obviously). Anakin can avenge the Jedi and what was done to him and all the lies he believed and the pain he wreaked on the galaxy, even then. It's not too late. It's not too late. Like. I don't care if this is Lightweight or Childish or whatever. It makes me CRY every time I watch it. Especially the moment where Luke takes off Anakin’s helmet and sees how ruined he actually is under there, and yet the downfall and death of the trilogy’s chief villain is not triumphant at all but instead utterly heartbreaking. “You were right about me Luke... tell your sister... you were right.”

Excuse me, I need to just /CRIES INTENSELY/

Luke won't be tempted to the dark side for his own sake, but Leia's ("If you will not join me, then perhaps she will"). I likewise hold firmly that Anakin/Vader is one of the best movie villains/antiheroes of all time and likewise have many feelings and Strong Opinions about his arc, prequel writing clumsiness and eye-rollingly tepid love story aside. (See: he and Obi-Wan were deeply in love and in a way they still are, don't @ me. I have no problems with Padme and obviously stan Natalie Portman at all times, but Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship is the real love story, the heart of the prequels, and in some ways even the subsequent movies, the end.) And “so this is how democracy dies, with thunderous applause” is... raw af as a line. For being in a Star Wars prequel movie. What?? (Also, the Revenge of the Sith novelization had no business being as good as it was. If only that dude had also written the movie.)

Anyway, my point is: the OG trilogy had plenty of moments of staggering emotional weight and where things genuinely sucked for the good guys and the outcome wasn’t entirely clear. The difference is that it didn’t choose to dwell on them, and it allowed for a transformative fictional space where a happy ending, fiercely fought for and squarely earned, was the right outcome. We didn’t need to go back thirty years later and make everything suck for fear that a cynical modern audience couldn’t connect with it otherwise. (Like I said, we didn’t need the new movies at all, but Disney heard that Cha-Ching of the Almighty Dollar). Star Wars was sci-fi, sure, but it also had the fantasy elements that allowed a happy ending to be the right choice for what we saw the characters go through and the philosophy that carried us through the original trilogy.

Likewise it’s just... Peak as far as dynamics go. C-3PO the fussy metal butler who worries about Everything and R2-D2 who is the droid embodiment of YOLO? Flawless. Sassy scruffy space pirate and badass politician warrior princess bicker constantly, butt heads, drive each other crazy, and then fall in love? Iconic. (And has shaped my ship tastes for... all of eternity, oops.) The above-discussed transformation of Luke Skywalker, whiny ordinary teenage kid, to the truly great man who fulfills what Obi-Wan, Yoda, AND the rest of the entire Jedi order couldn’t manage to do, because of their own flaws and blind spots and black-and-white moral views that didn’t know what to do with a man who loved as passionately as Anakin Skywalker, for better or for worse? The guy who managed to save the galaxy with love? STAN.

So... what? The Disney trilogy decides to retcon all that, throw everything that they’ve fought for out the window, make Han, Leia, and Luke miserable and rejecting the roles they grew into in the original trilogy, and die without ever really reuniting or seeing each other again as a trio? The underlying message was that “these happy endings aren’t satisfactory/realistic/sophisticated enough” and idk, maybe it’s just the shitshow of the last few years, but I’d like to see some entertainment that had the cojones to tell me that despite all the darkness and despair, maybe there’s a chance for hope. (”Rebellions are built on hope,” thank you Only Valid New Star Wars Movie Rogue One.) And Rogue One worked so well, despite being utterly GUTTING as all the heroes died one by one, because we knew what was coming next (A New Hope) and that their sacrifice was going to be worth it. I don’t care if that’s “realistic” or not. As I’ve said before, that’s what stories are for, and if I only wanted things that were Real Life, I would only read the news. Besides, the idea that happy endings never happen in reality is equally bullshit. We as a culture need to accept that more, instead of finding reasons to tear everything down.

So just... yes. The original trilogy might have flaws, but also, it’s perfect. And do I want to rewatch it all now? Kinda.

(Anyway. I warned you this was gonna be long. Oh look, it’s long, and I’m sure there is even more I could say, but still. Ahem.)

sleepover weekend asks

[renohasbigtits]

Oh my goodness those Ignis mpreg headcanons were so well written! I really enjoyed them they were really cute, if ya don’t mind me asking could you do Prompto next? I’ll leave all the details up to you but plz give us more uwu

Mpreg Prompto (Final Fantasy 15 Headcanons)

Omg ☺️ I’m glad you liked the Iggy one. Honestly While making the Ignis one, I was thinking about doing a Prompto Mpreg headcanon but I didn’t think someone would ask for a Prompto one.

But I will give the the people what they want!! PROMPTO MPREG!! Expect this to be very silly 🙃

Idk where this takes place, I’ll leave it to your imagination ;) just know that no ones dead! Yay everyone lives!!

One more thing: this does contain Mpreg (Male Pregnancy. Don’t like? Don’t read! Constructive feedback is welcome!)



• He’s a lot of things (being adorable cinnamon roll is one 🥰) but stupid isn’t one of them.

• he’ll noticed 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 how he’s gaining weight and starts to become more insecure (someone hug him pls)

Minor Warning: mentions of eating disorder habits.

• he starts to exercise more but he pushes himself a little to far of what people consider “Normal” and stops eating around people. That caught Ignis’s eye.

• Ignis motherly instincts kick in (Noct ain’t his only kid ya know) he confronts Prompto’s lack of appetite but Prompto doubles down.

• Ignis asks Noctis to, as his Best Friend, To help Prompto. Noctis goes to talk to his Best Friend.

•Noct tries to talk to Prompto about his excessive exercise and seemingly lack of appetite but Noctis’s awkwardness and his unintentional nonchalant attitude, doesn’t help and Prompto just ignores his friends concerns.

•however, one day Prompto passes out while running and is rushed to the hospital.

•it’s only then, he’s given the shocking news; He’s Pregnant! Not just that, he’s already a month Pregnant!

•he’s in shock and disbelief at first. How could that happ-

•oh yeah he had sex (duh)

•to make a long story short, Prompto was at a party, met someone, was getting along great and...well yeah you guess the rest xD (tbh I’m not comfortable or good at describing sex scenes, so I’m not gonna torture you guys 😅)

•after that, Prompto never saw (or heard) from them again.

•Gladio was like “Welp, it least you got laid!”

• meanwhile Noctis and Ignis: 👨‍🦯👨‍🦯

•Now, in a hospital bed, with the news that he’s Pregnant, Prompto feels alone, confused and scared. So he, reluctantly, turns to his friends for help.

•Noctis jaw was on the floor, he wanted it to be a joke. It wasn’t a joke.

•Gladio was: 📉📈📉📈📉📈📉

•Ignis, being the most calmest and levelheaded, tells Prompto to try to contact the baby’s other parent (can you tell I’m trying to be gender neutral? What can I say I love my he’s, she’s, and they’s 🥰)

•this, however, proves to be a colossal failure, since Prompto doesn’t even remember their name!

•Out of stress Prompto begins to cry :’(

• Noctis finally sees the seriousness of the situation, promises his best friend to help him and be there for him.

•Ignis and Gladio as well! Yay Grandma and Grandpa!...I mean Uncles!!!

•One Month: Prompto begun to eat correctly again. He’s lucky that the baby wasn’t harmed.

•this poor boy...gets sick a lot!!

•morning sickness is his worst enemy!!!

• “Now I know what my Mom went through...”

• he has the most RANDOM cravings...poor Ignis.

•he has to make the weirdest shit for Prompto!

•it least he’s eating it, so it’s worth it...kinda.

•Noctis is very protective of his friend. He knows people can be... judge mental.

•if anyone gives Prompto weird looks or glares.

•Oh Hell No!

•Noctis ain’t having none of it!!

•he’ll glare at them back! “What? What the hell are you staring at?!”

•He almost fought someone.

•Gladio had to stop him, he’s making Prompto cry (and that shit ain’t acceptable)

•Ignis just sighs. (Being a single mother is hard guys)

• Second Month: Prompto’s belly keeps gets bigger. He proud and nervous. He feels like he’s getting fat.

•The Doctor assures him that he’s not getting fat, he’s womb is getting bigger, which means the baby is growing fine.

•plus his friends are the best support system!!!

•lris gets him baby clothes, baby toys, etc.

•you better believe he’s taking pics of his baby bump.

•not just because it’s adorable, but because he wants to document it! He wants to scrapbook it!! It’s one of his biggest projects and he wants it to be perfect!

•Third Month: he has to buy new clothes ;-; he’s already outgrowing the ones he has!

• Prompto’s insecurity: 📈📈📈

•Noctis still tries to fight ANYONE who even looks at Prompto.

•Even Gladio gets annoyed with Noct fighting people and arguing with security to not kick them out.

•”Noct stop trying to fight people or your getting nothing but vegetables!!!”

•oh and you just know Prompto is gonna buy some Chocobo plushies, he’s kid is gonna love Chocobo’s as much as he does!

•55% of the baby supplies is Chocobo related.

•Fouth Month: This is it. He finds out the baby’s gender!

•it takes a while cuz the baby was an awkward position.

•”poor little guy, he must feel uncomfortable as much as I do.”

•”she’s actually a girl, Prompto. Congrats it’s a Girl!”

•”AAHAHAAHAH! IT’S A GIRL!” lris had to scream that where Noctis, Gladio and “I haven’t had my Coffee yet” Ignis could hear.

•THAT’S IT! I’M MAKING IT’S A GIRL CAKE!!

•that’s how they celebrate the announcement of the baby’s gender.

•Noct wouldn’t admit it but he’s really excited to be an Uncle.

•Gladio and Ignis as well.

•however, Prompto does not have much experience with taking care of Babies, so he starts practicing.

•for the next couple months, he training to take care of baby.

•he gets better but he fears he won’t be a good father (or mother) to his unborn Daughter.

•he doesn’t want her to feel what he felt growing up; loneliness.

•he promises her that he’ll never let her feel alone. He wants her feel loved and safe.

Eight Months: She’s already kicking. Literally!

•Seriously, She’s the most active baby the Doctor’s ever seen!

•let’s hope she won’t be too energetic....

•lris decides to make a baby shower for Prompto. The plan is simple:

•Ignis makes the food. (So many new Recipeh’s)

•Noctis keeps Prompto distracted. It’s not that hard as it sounds, he takes Prompto to a Chocobo farm!

•all tho, Prompto can’t ride the Chocobros cause he might fall and hurt himself and his unborn daughter, but he’s really enjoying himself. The plan is going smoothly.

•meanwhile Gladio decorates with the material he’s given because Iris doesn’t trust him to bring his own.

•it’s small and not many people came but hey! It’s the thought that that counts.

•Noct gets a text to bring Prompto to the party. The plan is going great!

•Prompto was so moved by all the hard work and the effort his friends made, that he balled his eyes out.

•it went great! They eaten the delicious food (THATS IT! GRANDMA IGNIS ACTIVITY!)

•the gifts were adorable ☺️

•Noct’s gift (note: lris had to drag Noct to a baby store, so she and Noct could get a gift. Much to Noct’s embarrassment) was Rare Black Chocobo plush!

•it was so cute! (In a dark way)

•Gladio’s was an adorable baby book. (He would have gotten a book about Chocobos but they didn’t have any ;-;)

•Ignis’s was a strange one. It was a coffee maker.

•”Iggy...why would I need this l?”

•”Cause your gonna be up all night.”

•believe me. Ignis knows all to well.

•lris’s gift was an Moogle Plush.

•It went amazing! (Prompto got to take some left overs home)

•Nine Month: The last month. The doctor was put Prompto on bed rest. Don’t walk around too much, try to stay hydrated.

•Noctis has to come over to look after Prompto during the last days of his Pregnancy.

•to say Prompto is nervous would be an understatement!!

•he’s sooo scared to feel what labor is like. He knows it’s extremely painful. Yeah he’s having a c-section but....

•Wait! WHAT WILL THE C-SECTION FEEL LIKE?!?!?

•he wouldn’t have to wait long...

•during the night, Prompto was having a hard time sleeping, due to some back pain (you know where this is going...)

•trying to get up, Prompto feels something wet.

•”NOCT!”

•”what I was drea-“

•”Prompto...did your water break?!”

•”I-I don’t know!!”

•unsure what to do, Noct (panicking) calls Ignis.

•”IGGY! I THINK PROMPTO’S WATER BROKE? MAYBE? I DON’T KNOW!”

•”Noct, how about you call the midwife?” Said Ignis calmly. (Let me know if you got that joke 😉)

•Noct calls the midwife, she tell him to bring Prompto to the hospital.

•(weeeeeeeeee wooooooooooo 🚑)

•They figure out pretty quickly that, the baby is coming NOW!

•poor Noct, sitting in the waiting room with a pajama top on and unclean pants (no shoes btw) hoping that it would go well and nothing happen to Prompto and his niece.

•after for what seems like forever, A nurse comes out with a small bundle in his arms.

•”He wanted you to hold her.”

•Noct was stunned. In his arms with Prompto’s baby girl!

•and she was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen!

•this tiny little thing, has his blond hair, blue eyes, even his freckles! She was the cutest thing ever!!

•Noct even shed a tear. He’s definitely not telling anyone about that.

30 Minutes Earlier

•Prompto just woken up. He passed out after he heard her cries.

•now, waking up; he wants to see his baby girl.

•once he sees her again, he basically falls in love all over again.

•Crying while her eyes were looking at his.

•”Hi there...nice to meet you.”

•She cooed in response. OMG.

•everyone else fell in love with her too.

•”She’s Adorable.”

•”hard to believe she’ll grow up so big.”

•she was basically welcome with open arms.

•over the years, shes basically a mini version of Prompto with a bit of a shy streak.

•he takes so.many.pics that she becomes camera shy.

•She LOVES chocobos and love to ride them with her Daddy ^^

•Noct is basically her second favorite person. She’s almost always falling asleep on him. He’s not complaining tho.

•btw, that Black Chocobo toy? It’s her absolute favorite.

•Ignis has to be her third favorite.

•she always refers to him as Mama Iggy. Much to Iggy’s embarrassment.

•She likes helping him cook. She’s a little mini helper and even passes out food. Ignis greatly appreciates the help.

•Gladio gives the best piggy back rides!

•she helps him a little with his exercise.

•Prompto and his Daughter are the closest you’ll ever see.

•she’s his rock and he’s her Father.

•When he finds out his origins and his “Father” he doubt downs to make sure he’s never like him. Period.

•After Noct disappears, She’s helps him get ready for Noctis’s eventual return.

•while getting stronger herself.

•When Noctis returns (and brings back the light) he’s shocked and happy to see that Prompto’s Daughter, has not changed much (besides age)

•she now helps around the Citadel.

•Prompto? Well

•Prompto is truly great full for having his daughter in his life.

•”Hey D/N?”

•”Yeah Dad?”

•”I love you.”

•”I love you too Dad.”

OMG! I did not expect this to be fucking long! 😅 well I hope I did this Justice. To who requested this, I hope you loved it!

I guess it turned more serious than silly huh? Welp, I still hoped you guys liked it!

Please Reblog!!

[gwyns]

Eeeeeeeee I'm always looking for unpopular and new fantasy books to read!!

(I'm assuming disenchanted is unpopular bcs this is the first time I'm hearing about it, but maybe it's just me?)

so is this a series or a standalone? what's the romance quota? and the male lead hehe?

ouu and I love me a pregnancy trope

thank youuu <3

YESSSS ANON I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED.

ahem. *puts on my garin lives in my mind rent free sweatshirt while skimming through my personalized copy of disenchanted* it was many moons ago when i discovered disenchanted. or more accurately may of last year and oh my did it consume me.

currently disenchanted only has one book released however the author, brianna sugalski, is currently writing the sequel disillusioned (which i may or may not have helped with the title naming process. probably not but it's nice to dream).

it centers around the princess of france, lilac trécesson, setting out on a journey through the brocéliande forest to rid herself of an.... ailment. you see, she can speak the darklings' (pretty much any creature that isn't human) tongue and that doesn't sit well with lilac's people. or her parents for that matter.

during this life-changing journey she happens upon a young man named garin, now he may be the most beautiful man she's ever met but she wouldn't admit that out loud, of course. they exchange words, and you can tell they already have some chemistry so this is when my interest was really peaked bc i am nothing if not a slut for romance.

time passes and it's revealed that garin has a secret of his own.... now i won't spoil it but, he's hot. very hot. and also very sarcastic, and has a habit of scolding entitled pricks on how to properly stab him. as my sweatshirt claims, he truly does live in my mind rent free.

anyhow, lilac and garin become somewhat reluctant travel companions and it's a grand old time. they laugh, they cry, lilac nearly dies at least twice. some meddling fae might become involved. it's really an incredible traipse through the brocéliande forest. 10/10 would come again.

i don't want to spoil too much of the later parts of the book but trust me. it's good. i love the development lilac has throughout the story, coming to realize that she is enough. as is.

as for the last bit of your ask... there isn't a pregnancy trope. at least not yet. i was just commenting on something brianna said in an instagram post she made today, idk if she means there will be parenthood for lilac and/or garin or if she means something entirely different. either way, i'm here for it.

i hope you enjoyed this silly little ask, i'm not usually good at explaining what books are about but it's fun to try and i just really love this book lmao. as always, if anyone reads disenchanted and likes it, come talk to me about it PLS. on the other hand, if you don't like it, don't tell me bc i couldn't handle it.

so all in all.... disenchanted supremacy.

[utilitycaster]

Hello I am here to encourage you, please talk about fanfic culture and practices and relationship to canon all day long.

Thank you for encouraging my procrastination and love of hearing my own voice on the internet (also people who asked about expertise...I got you, that one is very near and dear to both my bard-player and DM heart and so I am using “hey, you can write this” as motivation to get some work done earlier today. Anyway, on fanfic and meta and them being different things: something that is almost entirely a matter of opinion but also I am right.

So just as background: I am a grown-ass adult, and despite having internet access from childhood (and, iirc, cable internet by the time I was in high school yes I do remember dial-up vividly) I just never really spent much time in fandom spaces until now, and similarly I didn’t read that much fanfiction so this does come with that perspective.

Anyway, the emphasis I see on fanfiction’s validity in some circles, the whole “um actually The Inferno/Paradise Lost are fanfic” attitudes just...never made sense to me? Like, are you enjoying writing it and reading it? Then why the fuck do you care if it’s valid literature in the eyes of, idk, society or whatever. It’s sort of like that super old tumblr post that’s like Potterheads grab your wands; why do you care if other people don’t like the things you like? Why do you want them in your spaces? So the question of whether fanfiction is Valid and Good Art is just null at that point. And thank fuck because people still argue that genre fiction isn’t literature sometimes, and instead of wasting your energy on that argument you could just read more fantasy and sci-fi novels.

(If I were to answer it anyway, which I am, as a person who is not a writer by trade in any capacity...fanfiction is a fantastic place to hone certain skills. You can skip past the worldbuilding and characterization - all the groundwork-laying and exposition - and focus on plot and dialogue and your general voice. It’s sort of the opposite of DM-ing, in that way, which is primarily worldbuilding and exposition. Original fiction is harder because you have to make people care about your characters and world, whereas in fanfic they already do, and denying that fact is silly; good professional writers who credit fanfiction still have to have good original ideas too. But fanfiction does require its own skills, and denying that is equally silly.)

One argument I recently saw was that fanfiction was literary criticism, instead, and that doesn’t sit quite right. Meta is literary criticism: it is an analysis of the work, supported by textual evidence of the work, but ultimately one interpretation.  It is possible to use fanfiction to explore the ideas of literary criticism-you can write out, essentially, the simulation of your theory-but it’s not limited to that. Fanfiction in my opinion should be generally supported by the text up to some divergence point (again, do what you want if you’re enjoying it but I do not understand the point of OOC fanfiction; you’re just taking the names of characters and plastering them on OCs, which, just write original fiction at that point) but it’s explicitly a place where you can explore things that did not and often will not happen. I’m usually not hugely into the fix-it fic in that I’m more interested in understanding why the creators took an unpopular turn, I have no taste for pretending that everything is fine when it’s not, and also, like, the finale of Battlestar Galactica still made me cry very hard even if it didn’t make much sense...but this is perhaps the best example of fanfiction reaching the potential I think it was intended to. It’s a place where you can play out a scenario that could have happened had things been a little different, whether it’s what you want to see but ultimately didn’t, or just an interesting idea you had.

Fanfiction also has other wish-fulfillment properties, namely, the emotional one. There’s a reason there are words for things like “fluff” or “hurt/comfort” or “angst”; sometimes you want these things in your fiction, and you want a character to which you relate to experience them. Again, it’s my personal taste that this be consistent with the narrative up to some divergence point, but I definitely enjoy things from these categories. This is also a strong argument against fanfiction as literary criticism, at least exclusively as such. Sometimes you write fanfiction to answer the question “What if this well-supported by canon, but as of yet unconfirmed fandom theory is correct?” Sometimes you write fanfiction to answer the question “What if we kissed in the fictional setting I like. What if that kiss happened after one of us knocked on the door of the other in the middle of the night, hand over a profusely bleeding wound in the lower abdomen, and collapsed shortly after the other opened the door, and this was neither in conflict with nor explicitly in support of the current canon.” And you know what, for all that I said validity doesn’t matter...that’s valid.

And I don’t want to say meta isn’t capable of being tied to some degree to wish fulfillment, because it is. There is (usually) textual support for multiple potential outcomes in a story because otherwise it would be very, very boring and linear and for toddlers (not a knock on toddlers, who are just doing their best with the cognitive development they’ve got); an opinion, in meta, is often stating the meta-writer’s preference of how the story may go. However, I think there is a point where the meta stops being “of the many potential textually-supported paths out there this is one I think the story will follow and also I like this” and turns into “this is what I want and I will cherry-pick the evidence I need even if it requires ignoring more recent developments or an understanding of such fourth wall concepts as author’s intent, narrative structure, etc.”

This comes up both for scenarios that go differently from how people want them (eg: death of a character, relationship not happening) and for the emotional wish fulfillment side of things (eg: injection of angst where it does not, textually, exist). And when that happens my attitude is almost always “why are you trying to make this meta when it’s fanfiction, especially since it could be pretty good fanfiction!” A really terrible fan theory or piece of meta can often make a really good fanfic story, because a theory is based in the reality of where the (fictional) story might go, whereas fanfiction allows for that divergence point.

Anyway I think trying to make fanfiction more valid and equating it to literary criticism, or worse, treating it as truer indicator of the story’s intent, in turn makes meta worse because it takes away that need for consistent textual support. Particularly in the case where fanfic is held as being a better indicator of the creator’s intent, which also throws actual canon into the mix, everything all blurs into a bland, dumb soup of “what I want is going to happen because it’s what I want and if it doesn’t the creator is wrong, and moreover, a bad person.” I think keeping these concepts separate while acknowledging the connections they have is good and makes for better everything - better theories and better fanfic. The meta that tends to make me roll my eyes isn’t the stuff arguing for an outcome I don’t want; it’s the stuff arguing for an outcome that doesn’t make narrative sense, the stuff that makes me go “man, you could have written a really good fanfic about this.”

[rainbowserenity]

uhhh so this is @comeonlight and @lightning4ever‘s faults 8))) I didn’t expect to write anything else this year due to massive amounts of stress, but....this happened. it’s silly but also kind of nsfw?? idk but HAPPY HOLIDAYS, here is some OTP ridiculousness and here’s to hopefully more in 2020! I love you guys, thank you all for the support you’ve given me and keep giving me <3333333333

--

The thing about having game night at Fang and Vanille’s place was that the size of the place was immediately obvious when they all gathered. It was fine for two of them, but nine people? It was a wonder the floor didn’t cave in.

They all usually got around this by having Snow sit on the floor, while everyone else crammed onto the loveseat and couch. Sure, there were extra chairs, but they were at an awkward height for the coffee table - not to mention that Fang and Vanille had an ever-changing roster of foster animals that like to use the chairs as beds.

So whenever game night happened at Fang and Vanille’s place, Lightning swallowed her pride and would do something she never thought she would ever do:

She sat on Hope’s lap.

It worked out, for the most part. After all, they were a couple, and stuff like this wasn’t out of the ordinary. It just....well, had a massive PDA vibe to it, and Lightning wasn’t one for that kind of stuff.

But these were their friends and it was better than sitting on the floor. The others teased them for a bit, but after the first few times, Lightning started looking more and more forward to those nights they’d drink and play cards at Fang and Vanille’s, because she’d have a dumb excuse to stay close to Hope without it being weird and obvious.

Sappy? Yeah. But Hope seemed to love those nights as well. She got used to having his arm slide around her waist, or his chin on her shoulder. It was comforting.

"Comfy?”

Lightning nodded. “Are you?”

He grinned. “Always.”

They were two hours into a card game and they were all relaxed and happy (and in Sazh and Fang’s cases, pleasantly buzzed). Lightning had even found herself huffing with laughter at one of Snow’s stupid jokes, which was quite a feat.

However, at one point, she was aware that there was something growing a bit uncomfortable. She kept moving around on Hope’s lap, struggling to find the best way to sit without making his legs go numb.

It wasn’t until she heard Hope suck in a quiet breath that she realized what was happening.

Oh.

Oh.

Lightning turned to face him a bit. Hope was gripping the back of the couch like a lifeline. She could tell that he was calling on every possible ounce of concentration to keep a neutral expression on his face, but there was no hiding the fire in his eyes when their gazes met.

She glanced away and swallowed heavily, struggling to keep her own expression level. It didn’t help when Fang took once look at them and started snickering, though luckily everybody ignored her.

There were, of course, a bunch of ways this could turn out:

One, they would ignore this like adults and keep hanging out with their friends. A plausible option, Lightning thought, although she had a feeling Hope would vehemently disagree.

Two, they could duck out early and leave, knowing Fang would probably laugh and spill the beans, but who cared? Maybe Hope had a teenage fantasy of having a quickie in the car. Lightning never had, but then again, she never thought she’d be in any sort of romantic relationship, so anything was possible.

Three - and this was by far the worst option - they could be totally obvious and sneak off into the bathroom. Or maybe Hope could sneak off in there alone, although his slack were very loose and comfortable and left pretty much nothing to the imagination.

Lightning was trying to think of a fourth option where she just sat here all night until Hope, uh, calmed down, when Fang suddenly got up from her spot on the couch.

“Yo, Sunshine! C’mon, you and me and Serah should go for a beer run, yeah? We’ve gotta restock, anyway.”

“Uh.” Lightning stared at her, knowing exactly what she was doing. However, the not-so-little predicament under Lightning’s lap was having an extremely curious effect of turning her mind to mush. If they hadn’t been surrounded by their friends, there was no doubt in her mind that she’d been moving her hips juuuust right...

“Store’s just around the corner. We’ll be back in plenty of time.” Fang smirked.

Everyone else was staring at them now. Clearly Noel and Serah had figured out what was going on, because Noel looked extremely awkward and Serah seemed about to burst with giggles. It was only a matter of time before the others caught on.

Would Lightning let herself be embarrassed this way? Hell no!

“Sounds good. I could use the walk,” she replied.

Then, in a move only befitting of a former solider, she swiftly stood - ignoring the quiet noise of protest Hope made - and slammed a pillow in his lap in the span of about half a second. Obvious, yeah, but if no one saw anything....

Fang’s shoulders shook. Now even Sazh was trying not to laugh. Maybe the pillow really had been too obvious.

Hope cleared his throat, sitting up a bit and hugging the pillow to himself. “We’ll just hold down the fort here. No big deal.”

Now Fang barked out a laugh. “You should come too, Hope.”

Bad, bad, baaaad choice of words, Lightning thought. She was about to retort when Hope suddenly stood, still holding the pillow casually at waist-level, if one could even do such a thing causally. “I, um - I need to use the restroom.”

“You need the pillow for that?”

For some reason, that was what made Hope finally blush. “I need it for....back support.”

The Goddess had no mercy on them, because Snow joined in the conversation. “Is that what they’re calling it?” He snickered. “I thought Light was you ‘back support’.” He made air quotes, like anyone could possibly not understand.

“Yeah.” Fang laughed again. “You gonna leave her hanging?”

There was a pause where things were nearly quiet - or would have been, without everybody snickering or trying not to laugh.

Then, to Lightning’s absolute shock, Hope suddenly grabbed her hand and yanked her across the room, shoving them both into the tiny bathroom and slamming the door behind them.

The catcalls and whoops were just barely muffled by the closed door. Lightning knew she probably should have been embarrassed and annoyed and whatnot, but Hope was staring at her with that fire in his eyes and that was all she cared to focus on.

“Hope - ”

“I can handle you sitting on my lap, Light. I’m not some kid who can’t control himself.” He leaned in close and caged her between his arms, her back against the wall. Her traitorous hands went to his waist, skimming the waistband of his pants, to which he leaned in and let out a low groan next to her ear. The noise shot heat between her legs so quickly that she lost her breath for a second. “But for some reason, tonight...I just couldn’t focus on anything but you. And then you kept moving and all I wanted to do was bring you home and keep us in bed for the next week.”

Even before they’d started their relationship, Lightning had been very aware that Hope was an adult. She did occasionally have fleeting thoughts of when he was a shy but determined teenager who knew nothing about the world, and those thoughts were always met fondly.

It was times like now, however, that she was very aware that he was very much an adult....and she was very much attracted to him.

“You still could,” she replied in a low, breathless voice. Her hands were trembling to unbutton his pants. “They’ll already know what we’re doing in here.”

Hope flicked his tongue against her ear and she moaned, trying to keep it down. The sound apparently made something in Hope snap and he grabbed her legs, lifting them up so she could hook them around his waist. She let out a sharp gasp, their heads instinctively turning to seek each other’s mouths in a desperate kiss.

“I can’t wait another second,” he growled against her lips, and there was something about him manhandling her that just left her gone. They shoved aside just enough of their clothes and it was all she could do just to hold on, not caring about the muffled sound of their friends right outside the door. All it did was remind her to try and stay quiet.

“Later,” Hope murmured against her ear, gripping her thighs tightly like that was the only thing keeping him upright. “Later, when we get home, I’m gonna drag you to bed and do things with you so that you can’t help but scream.” He moaned, not doing as well to hide the noise as she was....not that she was being all that quiet. “Do you want that, Light?”

“Yes,” she gasped, one of her hands gripping his hair. Her fingers twisted in the strands and her head fell back, knocking against the wall, but it felt like nothing compared to what he was doing to her. “Yes, please - !”

They needed to keep kissing in order to stay quiet, but it was impossible when her breath was continuously taken away. It was ridiculous - they were in a tiny bathroom, their friends were right on the other side of the door, and they were both in for the most embarrassing moment of their lives when they came out.

But god was it worth it.

When they’d finally come down from the high and she was able to stand without her legs feeling like jelly, they rearranged their clothes and Hope fixed his hair somewhat. The bathroom door creeeeeeeaked open.

Seven pairs of eyes instantly swiveled towards them.

Hope cleared his throat. “I, uh - ” Cough. “I have an extremely complicated series of buckles on this pair of pants. It requires three hands and a lot of effort.” Lightning thought of how easily she’d undone the zipper and wisely said nothing.

“Sure.” It was Fang who replied after an incredulous pause. “And I’m bettin’ those buckles were very entertaining.”

Serah was the first one to start cracking up. It wasn’t long before everyone - even Hope and Light - followed. Sure, she was embarrassed and they would never hear the end of it. Maybe she’d regret letting hormones, of all the crazy things, get the best of her.

But that repeat performance she’d been promised?

Worth it.

[skruttet]

If they’re gonna be going with Moomintroll x Snorkmaiden rather than Moomintroll x Snufkin in Moominvalley then I sincerely hope her personality & relationship with Moomintroll is improved in the second season, because I ain’t buying it so far.

Take the episode The Secret of the Hattifatteners, for example. Admittedly, the two do have some cute natural moments, like cuddling together when listening to Moominpappa and some other small moments throughout the episode.

Even their make-believe pirates game is quite cute, although Moomintroll suggests that maybe they’re a little too old for playacting anymore, and he’s right; their relationship needs to have a serious, mature side to it now that they’re growing up.

Also, he’s always complimenting her appearance, but never (or at least hardly ever) her intelligence or bravery. I absolutely LOVE book Snorkmaiden because she’s so clever, and Moomintroll admires that about her so much!! But in Moominvalley he just calls her “beautiful” etc. and a lot of the time he’s saying it bc he knows it’s what she wants to hear (in The Spring Tune she even prompts him to compliment her, asking if her beauty sleep worked).

This also seems to be the reason why he’s always trying to act brave around her & protect her; he believes it’s what’s expected of him as a Knight in Shining Armour to her Damsel in Distress (though we all know she can usually handle herself well & even in the Ghost Story episode he says she likes a fellow who’s in touch with his feelings, yet he still tries to be all “manly” around her). For their relationship to work, they need to stop worrying about living up to fantasy gender roles and stereotypes.

Back to the Hattifatteners episode: Snorkmaiden brings up their future children. This immediately makes Moomintroll freak out & uncomfortable as he stammers & goes back on his initial idea of going on a real adventure; he just wanted to have an exciting experience with a friend, not have a story with a fiancé that he can tell their future children (Steve Box said he’s supposed to be around 15/16 in this series)

On the island, Snorkmaiden is picking flowers to decorate her hair & Moomintroll voices his concerns about this action, saying they’re probably rare. She replies that they’re no use to anyone just sitting in the ground and he says they seemed to be growing there quite happily before they came. This is an example of their clashing opinions on nature; Moomintroll seems to appreciate & enjoy nature more than a snorkmaiden does, much like Snufkin. Snorkmaiden taking the flowers is almost the opposite of Snufkin’s philosophy of not needing material things & believing that everything beautiful he looks at belongs to him since he has its memory in his mind. It is clear Moomintroll’s values line up more with Snufkin’s than with Snorkmaiden’s.

A little later, Moomintroll speedily sets up camp inside a cave and after it’s done Snorkmaiden asks if she can help, to which a slightly peeved Moomintroll replies “not so much now I’ve finished.” Snorkmaiden laughs this off and says “oh, my funny Moomintroll.” holding his arm, yet the tone of his response is very clearly unamused: “yes, well... come on.” He does brighten up and make a joke about the thunder being her belly rumbling (another actually sweet moment between the two), yet it is clear the two can get on each other’s nerves from time to time.

Like when he returns to the cave after searching for the lost Snorkmaiden, only to find that she has been there decorating the entire time. He doesn’t give his opinion on the decor and instead expresses how “unbelievable” he finds it that she has been here safe and sound the entire time he’s been worried about her. She then tells him he’ll have to go out alone in the dark storm to rescue Little My (why can’t she go too???) and she gets annoyed at him for packing so many things (definitely something he’s picked up from his mother) & stalling by reading a poem to her. Again, another instance of one being annoyed at the other.

Later, Moomintroll watches the mysterious & enchanting Hattifatteners’ gathering with Little My. He even puts his arm around her as the lightning strikes, and it’s a very sweet brother-sister moment for the two. This happens whilst Snorkmaiden is crying in the cave; she has missed out on having what could have been a beautiful moment with “her love”.

And on the note of not appreciating nature, as they sail back home, Moomintroll remarks on how wonderful the experience was yet Snorkmaiden disagrees with him, saying she wishes “we’d never gone to that silly island.” I understand that her hair is very precious to her, however couldn’t she mourn for her loss whilst still noting that at least the experience was magical & special? This lack of enjoyment at the wonders of nature & adventure is a trait I don’t believe is compatible with Moomintroll (yes she does enjoy their other adventures but sometimes she ends up caring more about her looks & personal possessions, and I think Moomintroll would prefer to bring Snufkin along on a lot of adventures instead).

Idk maybe I’m being too harsh on her but I’m not the biggest fan of this series’ portrayal of Snorkmaiden. I guess we’ll see what happens in season 2.

Addition: ok I wrote all of that a few days ago, and I’m coming back now after having read more of the comics and tbh them two getting annoyed at each other a lot must have been taken from the comics (which makes a lot of sense since Box has talked about how the series is the most faithful adaptation of the books and comics which i honestly think is not true at all but the point is that they wanted the series to be very close to the original moomins media), where they’re constantly getting in tiffs with each other, usually separating, then eventually finding their way back to one another & reconciling.

This is done humorously in the comedic style of the comics, in a very stereotypical “this is what all couples are like” kinda way, almost in a “look how alike they are to a married couple, but they’re just kids!” kinda way.

This works in the comics, but Moominvalley is going for a more dramatic approach; in interviews the directors call it “cinematic” a lot. So, for me, there is hope in the way they’re presenting Moomintroll & Snufkin’s relationship as a serious important part of the story to focus on whilst presenting Moomintroll & Snorkmaiden’s in a more childish and arguably less important way - the only question is, will they grow out of it and find they can’t be together? Would Moomintroll and Snufkin be able to maintain a long-term relationship with differing needs? Guess we’ll found out next year.

[our-smooty]

Flowerbeds and Fertile Soil: Chapter 2

Fandom: Good Omens Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens, )Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer

Tags:  Kidfic, Mpreg kind of, they can choose to present however so idk, Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), Crowley Has A Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has A Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has A Vulva (Good Omens), OCs Galor, parenting, using your snake form to avoid confrontation, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pregnancy, if I missed a tag lemme know

Summary: They could do anything, go anywhere, all without the worry of Above or Bellow making a fuss. Even so, they mostly kept to their little patch of Eden, their cottage and garden and the simple life they’d carved out among the locals. Aziraphale opened a book shop in town, where he only occasionally sold any books (and the ones he did sell, were all modern and stocked specifically for that purpose). Crowley focused his attentions on the garden, and if he occasionally helped their elderly neighbour with her disobedient willow tree, then that was a secret no one needed to know. Lately, however, they had both been feeling rather restless, unbeknownst to each other. Aziraphale tried reorganizing his store, changing the way he tied his bowtie and even ate pizza –something he considered to be far too messy for him personally. Crowley had branched out into birdwatching, and then car maintenance (the human way), and even reading. Nothing scratched the itch for either of them.

Ao3 Link

My Ko-Fi

“Oh Crowley,” the angel moaned right in his ear, breath hot and damp and making the baby hairs near his temple stick down. Crowley was pressed into the bed below Aziraphale, the entirety of his back in contact with glorious, soft skin. The hot hardness of Aziraphale’s cock inside him, splitting him open and really making him feel it. “So good, love, so good for me.”

“Aziraphale,” Crowley moaned into the pillows, canting his hips back, trying to get more of the angel inside him. Aziraphale’s cock was thick and long, hitting all those perfect spots inside. “Aziraphale yes.”

“I’m not going to last dear.” Crowley shuddered and thrust his hips again, trying to force Aziraphale to move. It worked and the angel began pulling back, then thrusting in at a slow, indulgent pace. “You’re so wet for me, so soft.”

“For you, angel, for you--!” And it was true, Crowley had never felt this way with anyone else. He’d had many human partners over the years, some he’d even sort of cared for, but none of them could compare to what he felt for Aziraphale. His love for the angel was a white-hot, burning thing that ate up anything in it's wake. “Take me, take me, take me.”

"I will,” Aziraphale answered darkly, keeping the slow speed but pushing in harder and there--! “I’m going to take everything you can give me Crowley, and then I’m going to give it all back.”

That was a very Aziraphale way of saying he was going to cum inside the demon, filling him up in that way Crowley craved from time to time. Tonight he’d practically begged for it, rutted into Aziraphale’s lap as he read until the angel noticed the dampness seeping from Crowley’s sex onto their trousers. Crowley hadn’t outright said anything, but Aziraphale always seemed to just know what he needed.

“Oh please angel, do it, do it!” Crowley was mindless with pleasure, clawing at the bed and howling as each thrust pummeled his g-spot. His clit barely brushed the bedsheets on the downswing but it didn’t matter, he was going to cum no matter what. Even though he’d already come twice with Aziraphale eating him out and once from his fingers. Whenever Aziraphale took it upon himself to spoil Crowley he always did a very thorough job.

Aziraphale removed his hands from where they’d been pinning Crowley’s arms to the bed to ghost over his hips. One of them cupped the demon’s lower belly, pressing and kneading at the flesh there. Crowley moaned at the added pressure. Though it really shouldn’t have, it shot a bolt of lust through him. There was something about the protectiveness and maybe the possessiveness of the action that made things that much more intense. 

“Built to take me--oh Crowley good Lord you wicked, lovely thing!” Aziraphale was babbling but Crowley didn’t care. He liked hearing Aziraphale’s voice, and he especially liked hearing Aziraphale’s voice say those things. There was a gathering heat in his belly, right under the angel’s hands and he began whining, high pitch and needy.

All of a sudden the only thing he could think about was how it would feel when Aziraphale came inside him. How wet he’d be, the noises, the sticky-satisfied feeling he’d leave behind. How Aziraphale would, possibly, beg to eat him out afterward. What would happen if Crowley, for just one brief second, gave in and tweaked his anatomy, switched a few things on. The mere idea of having something of Aziraphale and him inside him, some proof of their love and their devotion to each other, was enough to make him clench down subconsciously. 

“O-oh Crowley!” Aziraphale stammered his cock thickening and then spilling honestly excessive amounts of cum inside him. Between the pressure of the angel’s hand on his belly and the swelling of the cock inside Crowley felt so full, so full--he couldn’t help but come, convulsing against the sheets with a strangled, low moan. 

The moments between when they came and when Aziraphale pulled out were nothing but warm, contented bliss for Crowley. He couldn’t have cared less about what was going on around him; his mind was stuck somewhere in that gentle, soft place created by the bed and Aziraphale’s weight on his back. He’d been right, things felt downright soaked down there, and the stickiness was more than a little unpleasant. It was worth it though, for a sense of pure satisfaction he felt. Behind him, Aziraphale was nuzzling against his spine, staying as close as possible. 

“Crowley?” the angel hummed, voice sleepy and sated. Crowley wiggled happily, grinding his arse back against the soft cock still pinned there. 

“M’good angel, s’good,” he slurred. There was cum leaking out of him and onto the bedsheets. He reached down to stick a few fingers inside, keeping it there for a little while longer. “Why’d you pull out?”

“I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable, darling,” Aziraphale answered. “Normally you’re so sensitive after.” 

“I am sensitive, that’s what makes it good,” Crowley laughed, shuddering as Aziraphale ghosted his hands over his hips and arse. They could go again, of course they could they weren’t actually human. They could fuck as many times as they wanted in a row without the need to stop and rest if they so chose. It just happened both of them both chose to let themselves be a little more human than the average demon or angle. Eventually, Crowley removed his fingers from his cunt and Aziraphale rolled onto his side, pulling Crowley along with him so they were spooning. 

“Are you tired?” Crowley asked. Sometimes Aziraphale didn’t feel like sleeping, though he did so much more often now that they lived together. Crowley still preferred to sleep on a regular schedule, however, so he always asked before passing out and trapping the angel. 

“Very, you wore me out thoroughly, Crowley,” Aziraphale murmured into Crowley’s hair. It’d come free of the braid the demon normally kept it in and fell in sweaty hanks around his shoulders. Between that and the drying cum between his legs, Crowley was beginning to feel uncomfortable, so with a snap, they were both clean and the bed linens were fresh. 

“Good, wanna sleep with you.” He was already drifting off when he felt Aziraphale shifting behind him, running soft hands up and down his sides. Usually, when they were about to sleep, Aziraphale would go still and silent. Even after 10 years of sporadic sleeping, it didn’t come naturally. But now he was moving, keeping Crowley awake with his constant petting.

“I wanted to ask if you’ve given any more thought to that… thing we talked about a few days ago?” Aziraphale’s voice was still quiet, but much less sleepy than Crowley’s own. 

“What thing?” He was more interested in getting reacquainted with their comfy pillow and sheet set than doing much thinking. The 1000 thread-count sheets had been one of his choices since Aziraphale knew nothing about fabrics outside of his clothes. The colour had been a compromise, a nice earthy green that they could both agree on (though Aziraphale had fought long and hard for tartan, Crowley stood his ground). 

“The, well, the baby thing?”

For a few moments, Crowley could only think about the strange thoughts that had taken over him right as they both climaxed. They’d been nice thoughts, little fantasies he’d planned on keeping to himself. But they were fantasies and he knew that. Apparently the angel couldn’t understand that. 

“Told you no, thought I made that clear,” he said, sobering some and shaking off the afterglow. His desire to snuggle further into the pillows and sheets was immediately crushed; all he could think about was getting away from this conversation. “You said you wouldn’t keep going on about it.”

“But you want the same as me, Crowley, I can feel it!” So much for sleeping in his nice comfy bed. Crowley slithered out from under Aziraphale’s arm and to the edge of the bed. Sure, Azirahale could feel things in the way that angels and demons could feel lots of things others were experiencing, but it was all up to interpretation. Crowley wanted, yes he wanted, but there was a difference between wanting and getting that his angel didn’t seem to understand. “It’s not like you to be scared like this! Id we could just talk--”

“Shut, up!” Crowley seethed, willing his legs not the shake as he left the bed in search of his trousers. Surely there was a bar open somewhere where he could drink himself silly and no one would try and talk to him. Or maybe he could take the Bently out for a drive, burn off all this extra feeling on a long country road.

“I don’t even think this is about Heaven and Hell!” Aziraphale shouted from where he sat on the bed, arms crossed and face ruddy. “Crowley I see how you look at the girls, how you never want to leave after our meetings with them. And I’ve seen you for 6000 years being especially kind of children. I can sense love and you love children. I’ve never known you to let Above or Below stop you from getting something you want. Why now, that we’re finally free to--”

“We are a demon and an angel! Can you even imagine the things Heaven and Hell would do to get their hands on our children? You remember what they did to the Nephilim, yes? How they were destroyed, or turned into monsters haunting the lowest pits of Hell? N-now think, just God-damned think Aziraphale, if that was our kid! I couldn’t live with myself if that happened, or if they came out all wrong because of what I am, or--”

“Because of what you are?” Aziraphale interrupted brown furrowing. “Crowley is this about you being a demon?”

“Of course it’s about me being a demon! We don’t even know if an angel and a demon can… and if we can if the demon bits will work with the angel bits or if they’ll just ruin everything. Oh Somebody what if they turned out s-sick or s-something, because of--” He hadn’t even considered the fact that him being a demon could taint the kid. Or maybe he had, but he hadn’t thought about it because kids could not happen. And if they didn’t happen, he didn’t have to think about how his Fall was still torturing him over 6000 years later. 

“Crowley!” Aziraphale called, getting out of the bed and rushing over to where Crowley had stopped dead in the middle of the room. “Crowley dear calm down!”

“Don’t tell me to bloody calm down! I told you to drop it! And you won’t stop asking! It can’t happen!” He was getting hysterical now. Hadn’t they been over this before? Why did Aziraphale have to keep dragging everything back up? Rubbing what they couldn’t have in his face over and over. There were tears at the corners of his eyes and he wasn’t sure if they were from anger or frustration. Aziraphale stood a few feet away hovering guilty.

“It’s not fair!” Crowley bemoaned through clenched teeth. That was the core of it, wasn’t it? That they could have anything they wanted not, except for this. Because he’d asked questions, stupid questions 6000 years ago. The regret was strong enough to make him gag a little. “If I h-hadn’t Fallen, we could h-have--” 

“Crowley, Crowley, Crowley,” Aziraphale said breathlessly. “I didn’t realize--I’m sorry.” Aziraphale was often a little tone-deaf to situations like that, but he usually knew not to push once Crowley said no. Stupid, headstrong angel, who was moving too fast now?

“I told you we can’t, you said you’d drop it but you aren’t.” He took a deep breath before turning away from the angel to look for his shirt. “You aren’t fucking listening to me, I said we can’t! I can’t! And you going on and on about it isn’t going to change that!”

Aziraphale watched him get dressed silently. It was unusual for the angel to have nothing to say, but then again it was also unusual for Crowley to get this upset. Crowley rarely raised his voice, not in anger at least, and never towards Aziraphale. The fact that he’d gotten close made it abundantly clear that unless one of them backed off, this fight was going to cause some serious damage.

“I think I’m gonna go back to my flat for a while, cool off.” It nearly physically hurt him to say, but it was necessary. If Crowley didn’t put some distance between them now he knew from experience that one of them would say something truly hurtful. But even if it was for the best, it was still extremely difficult.

“O-oh,” Aziraphale whispered, hie eyes immediately beginning to shimmer with unshed tears. Crowley had kept flat for instances like this, where one or both of them needed time to themselves. He hadn’t had to use it very often in the last decade, but there were occasions where one of them felt strongly about something, and the other disagreed, so it had come in handy. The transition from hereditary enemies to lovers wasn’t always as smooth as expected. 

“I’ll be back in a few days, call if you need anything.” Of course he’d answer if Aziraphale needed anything, he wasn’t that mad. The angel wiped at his eyes and nodded glumly. It was a sorry sight, and enough to make Crowley soften a little. “Two days, OK? Just give me some time.”

Aziraphale looked up and offered a sheepish look. “Yes, OK. I’m sorry dearest.” Suddenly he seemed to remember he was completely naked and snapped his fingers so a soft, taupe robe fell around his form. “If you could let me know you’re alright… I would appreciate it.”

Crowley sighed again then snapped his own fingers so he was wearing a full outfit. It was late outside, and getting colder, so he added a jacket and scarf before turning to leave. “I’ll text you, angel. Get some sleep.”

The Bently was, of course, waiting for him in the driveway where he’d left it after running out to pick up lunch. Crowley stalked over to it and flung himself into the drivers seat. Right before he pulled out he saw a swish of the curtains to their bedroom window, then a shock of light hair. It really was hard to stay mad at the angel. But if 10 years of cohabitation and 6000 years of waiting had taught him anything, it was that boundaries were important. And Aziraphale had stamped all over his.

[popatochisssp]

Idk if someone's sent one already or if you're still taking them but can I please get a citrus ask for my boy Rus?

Ah, The Boy, Rus (Swapfell Papyrus)!

Citrus below… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Rus is affectionate as hell and aims to please, always. He craves sensation– pleasure, pain, and everything in between– and likes a lot of physicality in the bedroom, meaning touch over toys and not a lot of space between the two of you.

Mostly, he wants to get his hands on you, and get your hands on him in return, but he really is down for just about anything else you might want to do while that’s happening. Tie him up, call him your dog, break out a riding crop or any of a hundred even kinkier toys and he’s into it… just as long as there’s a lot of praise and petting and affectionate, loving words sprinkled throughout, or at the very least after.

One thing he does like for himself is the dom/sub dynamic: it’s a relief for him to be able to hand the reins over to you and to be told what to do, and to then be rewarded for doing it. One of his favorite phrases to hear from you is, “good boy,” and it makes him blush about as much as it makes him preen.

If you’re venturing beyond that, though, into genuine BDSM territory, you definitely want to be careful with any kind of painplay. Rus really does want to please you and as much as he may assure you he knows his safeword, yes, he really, definitely will use it if it’s too much, he…may hesitate or decide he can probably handle something because it’s for you.

You have to be very attentive with any of the more extreme stuff you may want to try, just in case Rus may just be gritting his teeth and enduring because he wants to be good for you but isn’t actually enjoying what you’re doing.

However!

If you tend more towards the vanilla in the bedroom, that’s hardly a problem. He really, actually does not care what it is you do together, sharing that kind of intimacy and (hopefully) getting a good, long post-coital cuddle out of it is already gift enough for him.

He’d still like to be told how you want him to touch you, just so he doesn’t work himself up into too much of a knot wondering if he’s about to do something wrong that you don’t like, but he’s down for lots of long, lingering, gentle lovemaking whenever, wherever!

There is also…one fantasy he has that he hasn’t ever really…gotten to do before. It may take awhile to get it out of him because he feels a little silly about it and it’s messy and probably he’ll enjoy it way more than you do, but, uh…

Dessert play.

Chocolate sauce, honey, whipped cream, maybe even some fruit if you want to keep things healthy– he would just…really, really like getting to lick and eat it off of you.

He has a hell of a sweet-tooth and the sheer hedonism of indulging in his two great loves simultaneously (sugar and you) just sounds like the ultimate ideal to him. It’s a little unsanitary and liable to leave you (and the bed, or the couch, or the floor) horrendously sticky, and he knows that…but the mess is kind of why he loves it so much? Rus may be the gross, dirty skeleton that wants to lap caramel sauce from your thighs, but you’re the one pouring it on there for him and that gets him hot.

If you’re going to indulge him in his fantasy, try to aim for tiled rooms for ease of clean-up, and definitely plan for a shower afterwards: he’ll be thorough, but no magic skeleton spit in the world is a replacement for cleanliness. XD

One last thing…? Dirty talk, as filthy or as affectionate as you want to make it, but be detailed. There’s nothing that gets him quite as worked up as hearing you tell him all the things you’re going to do to him in a sultry, sexy voice, like a threat and a promise all at once.

Is it possible that he could get off from your voice alone? Maybe. Care to give it a try…? ;)

[joemazzhello]

You Matter to Me

joe mazzello x (female) reader

words: 2k

a/n: this is my first fic i’ve ever written so be nice i guess and i’m writing this because of a thought i had after seeing this (by @rogershamsandwich idk if you want to be tagged but this started with your idea) and writing out this. I hope I managed to capture Joe but again I don’t really know what I’m doing. Also I hope this isn’t too specific because it is very much based off of my fantasies but I hope you’ll enjoy it anyway. 

disclaimer: I haven’t been to new york in ten years so I don’t remember much about broadway. I also haven’t actually seen waitress but I love the soundtrack and I know the plot. (Also I freaking love Drew Gehling as Dr Pomatter he fits the role so perfectly.) Finally, I don’t know much about Joe’s family life, so again it’s based on my imagination.

background: i love dad!joe more than anything so this is based of my continuous fantasy of married with three kids, two boys, 6 and 4, and a newborn baby girl

tags: @marshzzellow

warnings: just fluff, babies, and broadway

intro thingy: Joe knew that the one thing you always missed about living in America was Broadway. Ever since moving back home to England for your job, you hadn’t been able to see any broadway shows, and having just given birth to your third child, you and Joe struggled to even find the time to visit the West End. Now that it was time to visit Joe’s family in New York, you hoped you’d be able to see your newest musical obsession, Waitress.

With three kids, one of them being a newborn baby, traveling halfway across the world wasn’t easy. However, as you placed your bags down in Joe’s family home and watched your boys run into their grandmothers arms, you could finally heave a sigh of relief. You looked up at Joe, who came over and took your baby daughter out of your arms, giving you a peck on the lips and a huge smile while doing so. Watching your mother-in-laws face as Joe hands over your daughter, reminds you of why you go to so much trouble to fly out. Her unbridled joy lifts all the tension and worry off you for a moment as you see her holding your baby girl tight.

“Y/N, she’s so beautiful! She has your eyes.” You made your way over to her, thanking her and taking her into an embrace. “Is that a little ginger hair I see?”

“Yes, I’m afraid she takes after her father,” You answered jokingly. Beside you, Joe raises his eyebrows and fakes a shocked expression. “Is that such a bad thing?” he replies, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Only a little,” you respond, turning your head to place a kiss on his lips.

The sun was close to setting by the time you finally managed to calm down your boys from the excitement of seeing their American side of the family. They were watching TV in the front room with their cousins, while you fed your baby girl in the room that would be you and Joe’s bedroom for the next couple of weeks. Apart from the crib in the corner, and a small vanity, a big queen sized bed took up most of the room.

“Hello gorgeous.” You raise your head to see Joe poking his around the door. 

“You talking to me or her?” You ask with a smile, beckoning Joe over to sit with you on the edge of the bed.

“Hmmm,” he ponders for a second, “I’d have to say both.” He takes a seat next to you, allowing you to lean your head on his shoulder, while you both stare lovingly at your daughter. You stay like that for a moment, surrounding yourself in the calming silence, only feeling the rise and fall of Joe’s torso and hearing the sucking of the milk from the bottle. 

“I have a little surprise for you,” Joe whispers in your ear. You turn your head to meet his eyes. Spotting an excited gleam in his hazelnut eyes, your mind runs over all the silly ideas Joe might have come up with. He gets up and makes his way over to his coat on the back of the chair, fumbling through the pockets.

“Joe, we can’t go to karaoke, you’ll just get too drunk and I’ll-”

“What? No, of course we can’t do that, that’s a stupid id- AH! Found it!” You can’t help but laugh as a big grin encompasses his face and he pulls an envelope out of one of his inside pockets. He quickly makes his way back over to you on the bed, plopping himself down next to you excitedly. Your eyes meet his again, his holding a lot less confusion than yours. “Here, open this.”

After placing your baby girl on the bed, you take the envelope out of his outstretched hand, keeping your eyes locked on his eager ones. “Come on, open it!” he urges. You unfold the flap on the envelope, pulling out two pieces of paper. Your eyes scan over the writing before looking up at Joe once again, your mouth slightly open and your eyes wide. His smile appears again, wicked this time, knowing what he had just done.

“I-I-I, we-, how can-, what?” You stammer, looking again at the paper in your hands. 

“I know it’s tonight which adds a little pressure but those are the only tickets I could get on such short notice however my mom promised to take care of the children plus my brother and sister are here too so it really shouldn’t be any worry if they have to look after the kids for one night-” You interrupt his rambling by pulling his face towards yours and putting your lips against his. 

“How did you know I wanted to see this?” You finally say, pulling away from Joe. He smiles.

“It’s almost like you’ve been talking about it for weeks and weeks, checking the website for information about the West End run every other day, and listening to the soundtrack on repeat,” he answers, raising his eyebrows at you. You feel your cheeks blush, you had been obsessing a little recently. “The car will be here in an hour and a half, I hope thats enough time for us to get ready.” He smiles at you one more time. “Don’t forget to dress fancy, we’re going to see Waitress on Broadway baby!”

The cold breeze of New York city wind hit you like a brick in contrast to the stuffy and cramped air inside the theatre created by the hundreds of people who were trying to leave at once. You shivered. You could feel Joe’s hand in your’s, pulling you out of the crowd. Looking up at him, you could see the determination in his eyes as he darted between the groups of people, trying to get you out of the masses. When you finally made it to a quieter area, the almost freezing temperature set in and you started to rub your exposed forearms to create some warmth. Noticing this, Joe quickly takes off his jacket and places it over your shoulders.

“I know I’ve already said it a million times tonight, but you really do look wonderful in that dress. It’s a shame my jacket covers it up.” He grabs your hand, pulling it up and twirling you around. Giggling, you lean into his arm. 

“So do you. Aren’t you going to get cold?” you ask. He wraps his arm around you as you walk, pulling you in tighter.

“Just stay right there and I’ll be fine.” Gently, he places a kiss on your forehead. “So did you enjoy it?” 

The time flies by as you and Joe walk hand in hand through the streets of New York, rambling about the show and the songs. 

“You know, I think you could make a great Dr. Pomatter,” you suggest. His eyes open wide.

“♪ You remind me of a girl I once knew, gah by now she’s well in middle age, probably 41 or 42♪” His silly singing voice filled your ears, he knew that singing one of your favourite songs from the musical could get you to laugh.

“No, seriously, I know you can actually sing you doofus. I think you’d be really good.” You smile up at him.

“Oh I don’t know, singing isn’t really my area of expertise.” He replies, glancing down at his feet. You love how shy he gets about his real singing voice.

“Just a thought,” you say, snuggling up closer to him. A quick glance at your watch reveals it’s getting pretty late. “Joe, as much as I’m enjoying this, I think we should head back.”

“Oh shoot!” he exclaims, “I didn’t realise it was so late. Ok, I’ll call a cab.”

By the time you finally arrive back, the house is encompassed in darkness. You fumble for the spare key Joe’s mum gave you in your bag, while Joe lightly bounces next to you, trying to fend off the cold.

“Come on Y/N, we can’t stand outside forever,” he whines playfully.

“Shhhhhh, I think everyone’s asleep.” Your fingers feel the sharp metal of the key, and you quickly pull it out and place it in the lock, finally opening the door and letting you and Joe into the house. You hold the door open for him, and he leans forward and kisses you while you wipe your feet on the mat. 

“Thanks for a great night,” he whispers.

“I think I should be the one thanking you. You’re the best husband I could have asked for.” You kiss him back, a little harder this time.

“Joe? Y/N? Is that you?” You turn around to see Joe’s mum appearing at the kitchen doorway. “How was the show?”

“It was incredible!” You walk over and give her a hug. “How were the kids? Did they behave?”

“They were fine. We tucked the boys into bed a few hours ago and, as usual, the baby was nothing but cute the whole time.” She smiles at you and you laugh.

“I wouldn’t say that’s usual, she’s not so cute when she won’t stop crying at three in the morning,” Joe replies jokingly. As if on cue, you start to hear a small whimper from the baby monitor in the kitchen. 

“Don’t worry, darling, I’ll get her.” He pecks your lips one more time before running as quietly as he can up the stairs. You smile to yourself, gathering up your stuff before you start to follow him up. 

“Are you heading to bed too?” you ask his mother, who was now heading into the front room. 

“No dear, I’m going to finish watching my programme, but I’ll see you in the morning.”  You say goodnight to her and head upstairs to see your little boys. The door into their room was slightly ajar, the calm light of the star nightlight bouncing softly off the walls. In each bed, your young boys were asleep, their duvets wrapped around them. You lent over each one, giving them each a kiss on the forehead and whispering goodnight. Heading back into the hallway, you close the door behind you and start towards you and Joe’s bedroom. As you get closer, you start to hear a gentle humming. Quietly, you push the door open and spot Joe in the corner cradling your baby girl.

“♪ could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes They've seen things that you never quite say, but I hear Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you And I'll stay there as long as you let me

Because you matter to me Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody You matter to me I promise you do, you, you matter too I promise you do, you see? You matter to me♪”

Joe’s delicate singing whispers through the room as you watch him rock your baby back and forth in his arms. Leaning against the doorway, you start to tear up, remembering the song from the musical and how much it means to you. You recall looking across to Joe in the theatre when they were performing this song and seeing the emotion in his eyes. In his arms, your daughter looks up at him, her blue eyes staring lovingly at your husband. 

You stay there for a while, just watching him sing softly to your baby, something you hadn’t seen him do before with your sons. Joe loved to put on a crazy singing voice and scream with the boys, but moments like this, where you could hear the vulnerability in his voice and see the love in his eyes, were the truly special moments.

Going to shift your bodyweight against the doorframe, you accidentally step forward, the floorboard creaking underneath you. Joe spins around, your daughter now asleep in his arms. Your eyes catch his, a gentle smile appearing on your face. He glances down, his usual way of showing embarrassment. However this time, he sees his little girl in his arms sleeping peacefully and looks back at you, gleaming proudly. 

“You sound wonderful,” you whisper as you approach him, placing your arm around his waist. You catch eyes again before pulling him into a kiss. Separating, you both look down at your baby in his arms. She looked so peaceful when she was sleeping. Joe bent down to place her in the crib, kissing her softly on her forehead as he did so. He stood back up. For a moment, you stood there in silence, just watching your daughter sleep. Joe encased you in his arms, he didn’t pull away, didn’t look at your face, didn’t try to kiss you but held on tight without an ounce of selfishness. To this feeling, you were addicted.  

[kihocrystal]

Winter 2018 Final Impressions

I’m a month late, as usual (whoops!), but here’s my final thoughts on the animes I watched this past season! 

The “reviews” will be in alphabetical order!

3-gatsu no Lion S2 - 9.0 / 10 (A)

This second season of 3-gatsu was great! It’s just… a really great drama show about fighting depression (& a bunch of other character storylines)!

First off... THE BULLYING ARC WAS REALLY GOOD

extremely complicated, emotionally complex… this arc brings all sorts of emotions & angles into the forefront

multiple perspectives too: Hina’s, Rei’s, the bullied girl’s, the bully’s, the teachers’, and Akari too!

The art style can pull off both thick-outlined / bright colored style and watercolor-esque style incredibly well

it really is beautiful how it can visually portray both light-hearted and emotionally intense scenes

This season continues to show how good it is at character development for characters both main & supporting!

We get to see Rei moving through the ranks as a shogi player

and also moving through the ranks of conquering his depression! He’s improved more than ever before!

We get to learn about the white-haired master player (Souya); I liked how he has his own quicks and challenges he has in his daily life

Along with the other head shogi guy (Yanagihara)! (& how he shoulders his legacy for his friends)

Even the last episode offered some perspective from the foster mom about Rei & her kids

this show is just… really good at making normally-hated characters sympathetic, hot damn

Aside from bullying arc, this season also showed Hina preparing for the transition to high school

The finale episode was nice and sweet, with Hina saying goodbye to Takahashi and even getting a haircut!

This continues to be one of the best drama anime in recent years! Not to mention SHAFT’s best show since Madoka Magica :3

Cardfight!! Vanguard G: Z - 7.5 - 8.0 / 10 (C+)

And so ends the G series of Cardfight Vanguard… this final season I’ll say though is kind of a mixed bag

The plot had interesting ideas and moments at times, but the execution and pacing left a bit to be desired

though I will say it was definitely better than last season (CFV G NEXT)

This season didn’t waste any time getting to the main plot, as Chrono has to face off against a Diffrider right away

the diffrider stuff is continued from last season, but for the most part, it’s a new plot kicking off!

The rollout of all the new Diffrider Apostles (& them showing their strength) definitely made them look like powerful foes

not to mention the Zeroth Dragons, which were also shown to be powerful and very risky to use

Also knowing that anyone in the main cast could end up being The Vessel added some intrigue as well

the reveal that Kazuma would be the vessel definitely was a well executed twist imo~

However the pacing in places felt a bit too fast for me… the Relics subplot felt like it wrapped up too quickly, for example

the final fight against Gyze also kinda felt rushed… Gyze didn’t even have any dying words after his defeat :/

As a final season specifically, I feel like it kinda pales in comparison to Stride Gate, unfortunately

The cast was also kinda hit and miss in terms of how well they were utilized in the plot

some of the apostles definitely had more screen time than others (gredora only got like… two episodes)

plus gastille (the supposed apostle leader) got beaten sooner than like 3 other ones???

some villains carry over from last season too, such as Noa (Chaos Breaker) and the red-head punk kid

I liked all the new villains this season, personality-wise! (Also Yukari Tamura in there is a plus)

also no Am and Luna this season, really…

the previously established OG cast were integrated fine, for the most part

including Aichi and Kai getting the kill against Chaos Breaker Dragon

but the final episodes kinda just shoe-horn in a bunch of cameos that just didn’t feel natural :/

it just felt like “OH SHIT, this is the last season actually! Quick, throw in a bunch of cameos!”

this also applies to G characters, which makes less utilized characters (like Am & Luna, as mentioned before) look out of place :(

Sure, I’m saying a bunch of negative stuff right now, but I REALLY LOVE THIS CAST… I JUST WANT THE BEST FOR THEM

It’s the main reason I love CFV G, after all~

This season was definitely an improvement over NEXT for sure! The plot was interesting, I just wish the conclusion was better

The final episode basically just felt like an OVA, really… aside from the last scene, it didn’t really feel like an epilogue at all

I guess it just bums me out bc the original series got a good epilogue episode, so I know they could do it here, too…

In any case, I’M GONNA MISS THIS CAST, BIG TIME ;A;

In any case, this was a decent season to end the G series with! Not the strongest, but not the weakest either.

I’m gonna look back on my time with CFV G fondly for sure, if for nothing else than the great ensemble cast :’)

It’s gonna be weird going back to the OG cast for sure… I arguably liked the G cast better than the OG one :’D

Osomatsu-san S2 - 8.0  / 10 (B)

The consensus among fans seems to be that this season wasn’t as good as the first season

As for me, I… probably agree with that (though I still enjoyed this season!)

As with most comedy anime, whether the jokes land is pretty subjective. I feel like I didn’t laugh as hard this season? IDK

There were more “seasonal/holiday”-based episodes this time around (i.e. summer, new year’s, etc.)

What stays the same though is that this show is at its best when featuring the main brothers themselves

Skits involving the side characters (like Iyami, Dayon, etc.) didn’t make me laugh much…

I will say though that I enjoyed the second half of the season more than the first half~

Enough about the negatives, let’s talk about this season’s memorable skits / episodes!

The premiere was really good, as it poked fun at the huge popularity the show unexpectedly got xD

plus a bunch of references that *aren’t* gonna get them removed from streaming sites this time!

Jyushimatsu getting an “apprentice” with a little kid was also pretty funny~

The Karamatsu taxi skit, the spooky inn, & all the characters being stuck on an island were also good skits!

Ep. 18 (Iyami, Alone in the Wind) was also a crowd favorite, since it brought the feels for a change :’)

The finale 2-parter pulled a bait-and-switch yet again!

Part 1 was actually pretty serious, but the actual finale just has them trying to break out of hell xD

OH YEAH, I still really like the live-action stuff they do during the ending sequences

the first half’s ED was my favorite (the stop-motion of the brothers riding in the car)

I don’t have much to say about comedies generally, but Osomatsu-san is still my favorite in recent years ^^

Even though this season didn’t hit as hard as S1, it still provided some fun laughs~

Pop Team Epic - 7.5 / 10 (C+)

What can I really say about this show? It kind of defies description ^^;

Ok, yeah, it’s a sketch comedy, but it’s a really… crazy and random sketch comedy

The jokes are hit and miss (and in my experience was a bit more… miss than hit)

I never really laughed out loud at this show either

but then again, the humor here is more “being confused at what’s going on, but going along with it anyway”

There’s also a lot of modern anime references, so you might not get those jokes if you don’t follow most recent anime

Each episode has a long skit in it, plus a bunch of bite-size skits

I personally preferred the short skits over the long ones

There were a couple song parodies which I enjoyed (including the Earth Wind & Fire parody)

Also, this series definitely benefits from having an English simuldub! Some skits I found funnier in English!

OH YEAH, the voice actors (in both languages) change every episode, with female and male VAs in each episode

that enhanced the enjoyability of the sketches too, since I liked hearing favorite VAs do silly dialogue and performances!

I wouldn’t say this ranks among my favorite anime comedies, but it’s definitely unlike any other I’ve seen! ^^;

Your mileage will *definitely* vary with this one, so give it a try and see if it’s for you!

The Ancient Magus’ Bride (Mahoutsukai no Yome) - 8.5 - 9 / 10 (A-)

This was a very enjoyable fantasy drama show! Some people feel this show was overhyped, but I still thought it was really good!

I really liked the cast overall, especially Chise

She has really good character development throughout the show! She really becomes more strong and confident!

Seeing the fantastical world through her eyes was interesting as well!

Especially since those mystical elements were also responsible for her terrible childhood…

Elias was also an interesting guy… he and Chise have an interesting relationship together

Their relationship definitely has aspects that are unhealthy, but they do grow closer to each other by the end

If people can’t get past the whole premise of “him buying Chise to be his bride” though, I totally understand ^^;

They help each other learn too, which I liked to see

The supporting cast was also enjoyable! Not much to say about them individually though

The dragon keeper was nice and we got to learn about Elias’ origins through him

The dragons in general were great! Especially the old one that turned into a tree :’)

He gives Chise some good sage advice, even after death :’)

Angelica, Silky, and Stella (among others, like the other anti-hero duo) were good support characters too~

I liked Stella’s role of “normal girl who learns of the supernatural’s existence”

Cartaphilus was an… okay villain, I guess (though his methods were quite creepy indeed, which added some intrigue)

Some character designs are a bit questionable though… like who approved the vampire’s design? ^^;

Another large appeal of this was the world building of the fantastical elements!

I liked seeing all the different types of locales & supernatural creatures, both good and bad

As a low-fantasy show, this show does a Dang Good Job with the fantasy!

Chise learning more about herself and gaining confidence through these experiences were a highlight as well

I enjoyed each story arc as well, even though most of them were more explorative and introspective

This show can be dang beautiful sometimes, through both its art/animation and its stories (Thanks, Studio WIT!)

Some were better than others, but they all deliver either a heartwarming (or a dark) story

Some favorites of mine were the dragon-based ones, and the vampire loving the old man

The finale was good too! It’s unknown whether this conclusion is anime-original or not, but it was definitely a good S1 ending~

If you love low-fantasy shows, this is definitely one to check out!

Violet Evergarden - 8.5 - 9.0 / 10 (A-)

Best *new* anime (that I watched) of this past season, hands down~

Though to be fair, I still need to watch A Place Farther than the Universe… and Yuru Camp… and After the Rain…

Going into this season, this show was hyped and back and somehow… a lot of people were *disappointed* with this show?

I think it had to do with expecting a different show than what we got; as for me, I knew it’d be an episodic drama the whole time :P

But yes, this show has a (mostly) episodic plot with an overarching character arc. If that’s too slow for you, then you probably won’t like this show.

In any case, back to the positives! The first one being how good this show looks visually… as expected from KyoAni~

there’s so much detail in the backgrounds and the character elements (especially the lighting on objects like Violet’s metal hands)

this aspect is one thing *everyone* agrees on regardless, so… yeah, this show’s really pretty!

The main star (and focus) of this show was Violet herself… you can really see how she changes for the better from beginning to end

You get to see how “robot-like” she was at the start of the show, but she slowly learns about dealing with emotions of others… and herself

This character arc is definitely the “main” plot of the show, along with her coming to terms with Gilbert’s death and her war killings

The episodic plots were good in their own right, too!

Ranging from Violet’s start as a Memoir Doll to the different clients she works with, they all teach her something along the way

These sometimes focus on the side characters working at the Doll Agency too, so we get to learn more about them as well

The one that comes to mind first is Iris’ episode, where she (messily) reconnects with a former lover

Not all of them get a full episode in the spotlight, but they do get some focus scenes from time to time

Violet’s clientele episodes were the most memorable out of this lot IMO

ESPECIALLY EPISODE 10… that was the BIGGEST feels trip

I knew exactly how the episode was going to end, but I still teared up at that ending!

The finale was action packed, but also was a beautiful way to show how far Violet has come

I know some people’s issue with this show is that “it doesn’t know what show it wants to be” re: the action stuff, but I was fine with it personally

in any case, it was a pretty good book-end for Violet’s development, since she finally understands (a least a little) what “I love you” means :’)

I understand certain people’s gripes with this show, but this really is a great little drama show that *will* deliver the feels~

P.S. I also watched Fate/Extra: Last Encore this season. It hasn’t technically ended yet, so I can’t give final impressions on it right now. However, my current score for it is a 7.5/10 (C+).

[cortisoladdict]

Weekend

I spent a whole weekend with my adorable ass boyfriend and it was sooooooo good.

So good.

He came over Friday night and we cooked a Tanzanian dish together (Pilau). Messed up a thing or two here and there, but now I basically know how to make this dish, and it was still really good. We ate with my roommate, then he helped me clean up. While taking out the trash, we got locked out (my roommate was showering lol) so I gave him a boost through my window and we got back inside 😅 While we were cooking I pressed him to teach me more Swahili, so I felt like I made a little more progress.

That night we talked about how when he feels stressed he doesn't show it much. I had thought so--he never seems stressed to me, but having gone through MIT myself I was sure he must be, at least a little. He shared that he got pretty bad test anxiety, and that he's slowly learned how to deal with it. I am glad that he's slowly opening up to me more about the things he struggles with, though of course I don't wish him any suffering. However, it's a natural part of human life, and it's a sign of closeness to share not just your good times but the bad ones too, I think.

Sex after deep talks is pretty fuckin good. I definitely believe that emotional/mental state or closeness matters when it comes to sex. I have really good sex with this man. Really. Good.

The next morning (Saturday) we ate our Pilau and just Netflix and chilled. I like how he has all these dynamic little touches when we're with each other, like when we're holding hands he'll use his thumb to rub my fingers a bit, or when we're on the couch and I'm squirming around constantly and leaning on him this way and that, he'll rub me a little bit, or lean over and kiss me. It's so nice, it makes me feel loved.

We watched Mo Gilligan's comedy special because we saw him on YouTube once, so it was nice to have that moment come full circle. We talked about doing something--going to the library maybe, idk...we lingered a little bit and then, of course, we're just on the couch, makin out, I get on top of him, our tops are off, I laugh--scandalous, I say. Very, he responds.

In my bed, I ask him to take me from behind, he finishes twice, I am tingling with all the sexual energy I have, with all the desire I have for him. He's spent so he laughs, saying 'I'm the drained battery now" (a reference to what I said about myself once), he takes my vibrator and finishes me.

I love this man.

I read him a chapter out of his book and for some reason he really likes when I read to him. We have been so wrapped up in each other that we totally forget about dinner we're supposed to have with a friend, until he calls me, so we rush to meet a group and go to this Ethiopian restaurant (it's a weekend of East African food). Afterward, I want to go to the club, he kinda wanted to just go home and read again which I agreed to but he insisted we go, since he knew I'd been trying to for a while. So I said we'd pregame at home first to give him some energy. We drank a bottle of wine and played 'never have I ever' and 'two truths and a lie', which was fun because I already knew so much about him but I got to learn a bunch of other new, silly things, hear some interesting anecdotes, tidbits of his life. You have to get creative when you play those games with a close friend.

We take an uber to the club, it's not that lit but I am satisfied, I dance and wine and twerk and grind. Some dude fist bumps him while I'm winin' (lol) then at like 1:30am I'm super exhausted and spent. We sit at one of the lounges and alternate staring at each other and making out (cheesy, I know). The club is normally a place that's less fun with a partner, because part of the whole fun of a club is playing the who-can-I-get-with game, a game I've played many times before. But I was happy to be there with him; I realized how much I enjoyed it still. I thought, this is my person, the one for me. I told him in Swahili, Nakupenda (I love you). He never responds--or rather, he never responds with words. Instead, he just kisses me, slowly and deliberately. When he's away and I get too in my head this worries me, but when we're together I don't doubt that he loves me. I know also that I'm cheating a little--you never feel something the same way in another language.

Of course when we come home I am all over him. I love being with him; I love sleeping naked and warm and happy.

We wake up at like 1pm on Sunday. We take a shower together, which we often do. I like kissing him in the shower, there's something about water that's nice, maybe the fact that we're clean and wet and that somehow makes skin taste delicious. My only regret about Sunday is that there is no sex. But we go to brunch at a place I like, and I like how sometimes we're just quiet. There's a lot we say to each other without speaking, even jokes. And then there's the little touches, little elbow rubs, little caresses from fingers. The food is good; I am happy. I drop him off for his library shift then, and that's the end of it.

I feel so exhilarated, and in a way exhausted. It's like being so happy for three days required effort and energy. I love winter days inside with good food and tv shows and cuddling and sex and books. I love sleeping next to his long body. I love being held by him, he's always so warm to me. I love how affectionate he is, even if it's not always with words. He always gives me sugar when I ask.

In the morning I talk about how I daydream of the future, about having a dog and a Subaru, about living in a fancy flat in Europe. I talk about my real dreams too, and the confusion around what to do with my life. He tells me about a place in Dar Es Salaam by the ocean, and with beautiful houses.

I add this to my list of fantasies, living with him on a beautiful beach, traveling to Ethiopia or the US or China for my coffee business, or maybe for some other supply chain or robotics business, him, the PI of a research lab, I'll teach as an adjunct sometimes. Maybe I'd own a 2-bedroom in Cambridge where we spent our late 20's gaining experience in America, and sometimes we'd spend part of year there, but of course most of winter would be in our Masaki home. We'll start as a young couple on that beachside house, I'd buy the Women national geographic coffee table book we read together once in a bookstore; I'd pick out beautiful, modern furniture pieces, many African-designed. Then our house might grow, from two to three and then four, or maybe we would move, but still our home base would be there, by the ocean. Maybe we'd vacation in Shanghai and Tokyo sometimes, and I could take him to all my favorite places in Asia.

I feel like I know, now, what it's like to be dating your best friend.

[disarmingly]

fanfic asks i’m going to post answers in numerical order as i got some numbers asked twice which is cool but i definitely am the idiot who will lose track if i don’t do it in number order! also i’ll throw it under a read-more bc i tend to get rambly and so it all gets quite long! like seriously i apologize i wanted to give it my all but like i may have written too much >_<;;;

i'm gonna preface with: i was confused by these first two because i thought is this the same question but then figured maybe 3 was ff and 4 is not ff? T_T;;;;

3 [ name three favorite writers ]

the truth is i admire a lot of people and not all of them actually post their work unfortunately. however, xiajin ( @j-ungah)  is one who does, for which i am very grateful. it's easier though for me to say the THINGS i like best i.e. i really admire people who do humor in…how do i say it? ah well it's best for me when it's fluid within other feelings -- like the lightheartedness makes the punches and ups and downs of other aspects of their stories just shine? i am fairly unskilled with lightness/humor and i am repeatedly and eternally in awe of people who weave that facet of the heart into their narratives so believably. ^^;; i also admire what i think of as a seven-sense experience -- which is to say something about a writer whose descriptions dialogues and everything in-between??? create a thing i feel hear smell taste see, yes, but also a thing i dream, i thing i wake up to or from….that kind of suspension of my reality. ^^;;; which just smacks of escapism i know hahakjsfsdlfds OTL but it is what i like! some other part of why i don't have a lot of names rn is that when i'm focusing on writing i don't read as much fic? and on the flipside when i'm not trying to write then i read like everything under the sun thrice over ^^;;; but i've been in writing/trying to write-mode since i posted This Time Around so…yeah!  

4 [ name three authors that were influential to your work and tell why ]

this is really hard! but i left out one writer on my past book rec list so i'll mention him here. john steinbeck! i know that most people/schools/etc tout him for grapes of wrath T_T;;; but like….i tried really hard to like it for a friend who is basically married to that book and i just…couldn't? i tried with of mice and men too but that book is like being beaten up by the written word and no one to patch you up afterward. but. BUT! let. me. tell. you.

east of eden

this book is falling apart like i've read it until it's shreds and i don't wanna give up the copy i have because like…i have so many notes in it? i have dates written down and things i don't remember ever writing or what they reference but getting a new one would be like…idk i can't do it yet. i'll have to soon just bc i carry it around everywhere and i need it but..this book, warrants steinbeck being mentioned in and of itself. if you haven't read it, i cannot rec it enough. like i am not honestly a huge fan of anything outside of fantasy or science fiction but this is my exception. no amount of applauding is going to do it justice. but suffice to say he's got this wickedly good balance of ideas, execution, emotion, and rationale and i just feel so much it is a book that HURTS and yet i kind of…what's it like? it's like if it took me years and years to climb a tree just to see what i can see from the top, then learning to climb back down. sitting under that tree. feeling…like a conversation happened?

T_T i ramble but yeah. john steinbeck's east of eden.

other than that: diana wynne jones, CLAMP (cries forever), cs lewis  

6 [ how did writing change you? ]

before i wrote i drew and i painted, which i find hilarious now because lolololol what IS visual art, it’s hard work and talent hybridized with quality hearts (me: /stares at all my fave fanartists for real) kdsfdsfdlsfjlds but yeah uh writing happened because i loved reading. i thought: these things make me feel less displaced in the universe, if only a little. ah well, more to the point, writing in and of itself changes me in every day life almost to a fault: i think a LOT about what i say, even when i’m perceivably rambling. i over-think it too. writing in every-day life makes even the most awkward cat potato (me) better able to hold a normal conversation, which come to that isn’t the MOST important thing, but it is a thing that changed because before writing i basically stood still and tried to hide in my own shadow (unsuccessfully btw.) now i stand very still, hope no one talks to me, but am able to at least talk back if they do ^^;; 

if this question means how did ff writing change me otherwise...is it stupid to say on several times, writing ff has saved me? is it melodramatic? probably. i think it does though. i’ve said several times i don’t do wonderfully in-person (ability to converse even so) and it’s painfully true. i don’t know that i believe i ever will. i’m in plainest terms, too afraid. ff writing has given me opportunity to connect with people despite my shortcomings in this way though. sometimes someone says they related to a certain thing or they feel content or a familiar sadness but not in a bad way and that is So Much to me. like can you imagine being in complete darkness and seeing a small light in the sky or the ground or the sea suddenly? that’s what those are.

so writing is helping me change, i hope, from someone who has had the growing fear of being lost forever, to being a little less lost, a little less unworthy. to be fair, writing in and of itself for me is often a lost feeling but those sparks of Found are irreplaceable and whether they happen when i write or when someone responds to the writing, i carry them with me to the best of my ability. because they’re precious. because i need them. and i’m grateful. 

writing separate from ff is something i also hope will change me, but i have yet to figure out a way to share that and for now i have a lot of stories on my Intentions to try to actualize, so my side poetry is a sidecar project and that’s okay.

11 [ do you listen to music when writing? ]

yes! in fact i tend to make playlists for my stories when i’m done usually consisting of what i listened to….even if that's a silly thing to do ^^;; i think about sharing them sometimes haha but it’d be linking a bunch of youtube links so idk if that’s dumb sdlkedfsoijlefdjoslk sometimes it’s bangtan and often it’s movie scores i.e. ghibli stuff ....oh and video game osts too!!! a hodgepodge! 

12 [ favorite place to write ]

home because i need as much control over my environment as possible. i honestly don't understand how people can get any writing done outside in the city because it's like one massive attention-deficit lmfdlsfdsfkdsjl but kudos to the people who can…!

13 [ hardest character to write ]

LMFSLKFUOIJWFLSK gosh um…i think for me the way i would phrase this is that the character i am most nervous writing???  yoongi. he features predominantly in my writing because i find his transparency about his journey(s) relatable and something to always be grateful for. unfortunately being relatable presents the ever present pitfall possibility of projecting onto someone, which i don't want to do. even when writing him as a character, i still want him to resonate true to the real deal in as much as possible in the world created or the canon suggested. i want to do right by him, very badly, and for better or worse that means i can almost never enjoy writing him because i'm so worried the whole time. the moment of peace is when i either post or delete, but both leave an uneasy feeling if i'm honest, and perhaps that's always going to be true -- with my favorite people and my favorite ideas i guess.

14 [ easiest character to write ]

like 13 i'm cheating and changing this to the character i'm least anxious writing and that would be namjoon. i love him a lot but for whatever weird reason i'm not having heart palpitations every time i have to write a line of dialogue for him. is it because i've watched and read everything of him the most? not really. i think i've re-visited more kookie things out of all of the ot7, but namjoon has a vibe i get, a wavelength i'm on almost all the time and i can't quite explain it since it's not like i'm talking about a person i personally Know. but what i mean is, i feel like i do? he makes me feel comfortable with him at the colloquial level both verbally and emotionally so i don't overthink him as much as i do say yoongi, jungkook, and hoseok -- all beloved but also sharp points of vulnerability for me.  

17 [ favorite AU to write ]

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh….well. the way it's phrased it feels like it means ongoing AU??? which would be time and again drabbles supplementary to This Time Around (the initial oneshot).... (even tho from hereon out everything else will transpire BEFORE the current chapter up lololololol way to be confusing right) but if it just means like what universe, period, huh gosh. all your stars are my stars too au probably.

20 [ favorite character to write ]

i CAN'T pick

21 [ least favorite character to write ]

i don't have one unless you count 'difficult' as leas favorite but that's really not true for me s-so...

22 [ favorite story you’ve ever written ]

?_? ahhh the story closest to my heart?    tie between all your stars are my stars too verse, and this time around verse. haha i keep picking those two but honestly despite being two very different worlds the pulse is actually the same.

23 [ least favorite story you’ve ever written ]

so far away

still disappointed in myself because to this day i don't know what i can do to make it better i just know it could be and it's so specific i just don't look at it anymore. it is by far the one i've revised the most and i'm sure that's weird haha...but it means so much to me...if it was a friend in my past, this story would be the friend i should have done more for, didn’t, couldn’t, and will regret until i can either come up with an answer or just have to square with said regret and say we don’t always get it the way we want it. hm. i admit when i posted it i hoped i’d be less disappointed with myself over time, but apparently not so.

24 [ favorite scene you’ve ever written ]

T_T no idea … do you have one, anon? /waves white flag/ i guess i'm just cheating through all these asks OTL forgive me but i guess a favorite would be any scene that a reader feels connected with them/resonated personally or moved their feelings into a place or shape they didn't expect but are okay having? 

25 [ favorite line you’ve ever written ]

sjflkfesdipokleds /covers face/ im really sorry i just don't…have one…ah...i can’t look too closely...but i always appreciate when readers have favorite lines and copy paste them to me any given time like it’s so nice? ;_; it’s so nice ahhh

26 [ story you’re most proud of ]

since i kinda hard passed the last two with this one huh like i guess if i can qualify this as 'story i consider deleting the least often' that would actually probably be my ONE vmin  fic i wrote so far -- sidereal -- lmfdlskfdsfjdsl sidereal -- and it's not that i think it's especially good but more so that i know/ don't question what i'd change about it because it came together start-to-finish very naturally…and that's funny since i had never written them before.

27 [ best review you ever got ]

listen. every review is the best review T_T seriously every review, every bookmark's notes, every ask….(well as long as it's not mean!) ah is a use of someone else's time they did not have to give me but they did and that? that's huge. fanfic is interesting bc it's a thing done for pleasure but unlike say, fanart, there is no readily apparent way to make it marketable? so i think of those words left as review or ask or whatever… as a manner of wealth, if it makes sense, a currency of kindness motivation/encouragement and hope -- that even if i dislike my writing/ find majority fault within it at the end of the day….. there are people out there who don't dislike it too, which is amazing and a relief.

28 [ worst review you ever got ]

hmmm well tech it wasn't a review but like i have gotten a LOT of asks regarding ... .- ...- . -- . + stardrop that range from disappointment that i wrote/published stardrop at all [i knew it would garner some of this but i have haha had more than i thought] to just flat-out regret for having read any of them in the first place. now, as someone who doesn't see any time in the near future where i'll like my own writing, having someone use the words 'regret reading' are….it's upsetting. i feel silly for how much it gets to me but i'm a weak spiral of a person in many ways, so asks like that send me running to hover over the delete button all the time, not just on that story but every story. but i know LOGICALLY it's just an extreme reaction of mine so i don't follow through but yeah my fight or flight response is very much flight lolololol OTL

as for not that uh probably the smattering of asks that came through when i posted 'follow' …one of which asked why i portrayed jungkook so stalkery (as far as i'm concerned, i didn't. he admires namjoon same as some of us admire our own internet idols or whoever)

32 ... .- ...- . -- .   [ alternate title for (insert story title) ]

IN fact i almost called it 'equilibrium' but while relevant that seemed too vague...

33 ... .- ...- . -- .   [ alternate ending for (insert story title) ]

jungkook wakes up. jungkook wakes up and he's raining, brings his hands to his eyes and can't stop, can't speak, can't anything but rain. jungkook wakes up, curls on his side, and cries cries cries until he falls back asleep.

a moment later, the door to his room slides open. two pairs of eyes worry after him into the dark where they recognize three things: 1. jungkook may never forgive himself; 2. there is nothing either of them can do about it; 3. when the captain named namjoon and the mechanic named yoongi forced jungkook into an escape pod at just the last second, their intention was to save him but the result is not so simple.

with unpredictable caution, taehyung enters the room, jimin's hand at his back, doesn't bother to speak quietly, well-acquainted at this point with how deeply jungkook dreams, how desperately. biting the inside of his cheek, taehyung shakes his head. "what are we gonna do?" after a moment, he glances to his right as jimin brushes past him to draw jungkook's blankets up more securely around him, combs soft fingers through his sweat matted hair and says,

"the best we can."

38 [ do you reread your own stories? ]

other than to proofread? no! i'm still very immature as a writer so the reality is if i go back to read something i have a 99% likely will delete because i see all the flaws and things i want to do better but don't yet have the skill to achieve??? but i know i can't or shouldn't literally wipe everything away Just Because, so…@_@;;;

40 [ which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series ]

time and again drabbles or this time around

46 [ share a scene of a story that you haven’t published yet ]

*

the night of taehyung's sorting, jimin jumps out of his place at the table to go meet him but a hand circles around his wrist, holds him there. when he looks down, he finds taemin, all calculated cat expressiveness that reminds jimin of yoongi except taemin has a contradictory warmth about him. yoongi is cool to the look the touch and everything until you get inside him; then he's warmer, jimin would dare say, than he himself is, but so few people know it it's hardly worth mentioning. he blinks. frowns.

"i'm going to say hi."

"no."

jimin pulls. taemin sighs.

"do you think for a second they won't use him against you."

it's not a question and for good reason. jimin sits down again, quiet. hollow, learns at age twelve about thinking ahead and expecting the worst.

if only to protect the very best.

truth be known, he doesn't mind being a slytherin. it's easy to just say no one is trustworthy than to say everyone is. but the history of his family creates a whole additional spectrum of uncertainty. 'park' is so common a name one would think it wouldn't be so obvious except jimin's family has been in and out of the wizarding world papers for quite some time. try as they might to undo a history that predates them by decades, it's hard -- no, impossible. slytherin is one thing. heir is another. wealth. jimin is twelve but the world is much older and his so-called peers fall somewhere in-between.

anyway.

what he wants: to say hello to his dearest friend.

what he doesn't want: to bring said friend trouble, no more than he already has.

jimin looks over at taehyung, watches as hoseok helps him with his baskets and...swallows.

it hurts.

*

around the middle of the second month taehyung goes missing.

it's yoongi that lets jimin know, which makes jimin feel guilty all over: i should have already known.

"did they say when they last saw him?" he asks, rushing around more than he knows yoongi prefers but yoongi is loyal and yoongi is yoongi; he rushes with him, this way and that.

"hobi says yesterday, supper."

biting his lip until it bleeds, jimin experiences what a person always experiences when he knows this might be all his fault: wrenching self disgust, fear, anxiety that crawls around in the chest and twists around the heart like a curse. but feeling bad won't do anything; feeling bad won't find his best friend (who might not want to be your best friend anymore, his heart whispers and it's cold, it's distant, it's terrifying.) yoongi's hand in the sleeve of his robe jerks jimin to a stop so fast he almost trips, except yoongi holds him up while muttering a spell under his breath, the tip of his wand a sharp tap against jimin's strawberry pin (a thing he wears every day in the knot of his tie.) it lights up briefly, blue.

"if i find him before you, that'll happen."

then yoongi is gone in another direction. it makes sense. the school is offensively massive and jimin has never detested it more in his life.

*

growing up, jimin lived by the sea and taehyung came to visit him every other summer. they collected seashells and named all the fish they happened to find and made castles they planned to live in one day when they were older.

"this one's your room."

holding up a piece of sea glass shining aquamarine, jimin held it over the sun, turned back to face him and said, "then it's yours too."

*

the room of requirement is for any given thing. for taehyung he needs a place to be found and for jimin, he needs to stop losing.

it takes him two days to find the boy whose sleeping patterns he knows by heart, the boy whose dreams felt often like his own dreams when they were much smaller; it takes him two days and seven hours and forty-one minutes. but he finds him.

when he opens the door, it's some god sized gift to have taehyung meet his eyes.

it's a human sized gift to receive a careful smile.

and it's everything else to crush him in his arms and breathe him in and keep him there, everything to say,

"i'm sorry."

"me too." a pause. "those strawberries were for you," and the way taehyung says it isn't a guilt-trip. it's just him being genuinely regretful he couldn't give them to jimin the way he wanted to but this makes it that much sharper.

jimin bursts into tears.

*

that summer they go to taehyung's home and jimin eats every strawberry taehyung offers him, which means he gets fairly sick, but he disguises it as something else as best he can and almost doesn't feel so sick at all anyway when taehyung, wide-brimmed straw hat a halo on his head, laughs a sunrise sound and sings a sunset song. it's very windy during their visit, so jimin lays a charm on taehyung's hat to keep it from flying away.

*

49 [ writing advice ]

1. don’t give up. -- which for me and i guess a lot of people whether it’s art or just life, is truly the hardest. but i am constantly attempting to apply to writing what i try to apply to my livelihood: this idea that the most contemptible thing to do is to surrender. i was thinking about lord of the rings the other day and trying to figure out who i hated the most 8D;;; because my train was stuck and i was viciously trying to not freak out....anyway i kept thinking of denethor...and he’s not you know out and out a villain but he’s just so vile to faramir and on top of that he has clearly given up. he’s got this twisted saccharine doom about him that is somewhat because he’s lost his mind but he lost himself first. 

i know this is a really dramatic mental deviation but it’s what i think about ^^;;; the temptation to give up is constant, it’s not a thing that goes away -- which is why i wrote ‘begin’ to address this idea that sometimes the hardest thing is to start, and then to continue in the face of a trouble that has no permanent cure. the moment you give up you lose you, and of course you lose your art. what’s that cliche??? you can’t get something for nothing. i hope that doesn’t come across condescending or bad. i just know for me i have to yell at myself all the time about it, so that’s why it’s first on the list OTL don’t give up, or in the words of bangtan: no no no not today! ^^

2. i used to believe you couldn’t force writing but i think what the more accurate way for me now is to think: i can’t force Right Writing, like it isn’t necessarily good as i throw it down initially and sometimes that’s as good as it’s going to be until i reach a point in that piece that helps me rebuild/recreate/reword the first parts that i KNEW at the time weren’t very good but couldn’t do more with...like perspective within your own narrative i guess, which can’t be gotten without pushing ahead. 

so for example, i disliked everything i had with call and answer from the beginning to the end but the only way i got it all done was to write something every day a paragraph or two maybe, just to get draft one done. then i could look at it the next day to proof-read, put one part before another part, etc, etc, the things that went into making it something i could bear to post. ah so basically if it comes a little naturally that’s awesome but i know for me the most frustrating thing is not being able to control when that happens or why, and since i still want to write, this was my ‘solution’ so to speak -- write it, don’t delete it, look at it in an hour or the next day but move forward even if you’re not 1000% sure with it. like i know this doesn’t work for everyone but it is what has at the moment, kept me afloat. it’s not fun but for whatever reason, it is a method i have employed time to time. 3. write what YOU want to, not what anyone else wants you to (unless it’s like a request you’re fulfilling which case that’s up to you of course!) but in general like....i think there’s a misconception that to write big you have to write for everyone but you can connect to a lot of people by telling a very specific story -- they may not dive into every part, but if there is even one aspect of a story i feel recognized by (a moment, a turn of phrase, the resolution, the problem, whatever) then that’s often enough for me. it’s like with people, we don’t get every part of each other -- even the best of friends, or lovers or whatnot -- but the parts we do get mean so much. same for me with stories.

4. give better advice than me lmfdslkf omg 

feel free to send other numbers or if i missed one let me know........omg but you probably wouldn’t want to after this huh? lmdsfijfoklfeds ^^;;; wow if you read all that uh....thank you but also i’m sorry ;; lmfdsojklefds T//////T!!!!! <3 ;3;

[bainhardt]

FALL 2018 ANIME - FRIDAY

Dakaretai Otoko 1-i ni Odosarete Imasu. - Oh hey, it’s a BL show. I can’t remember the last time I watched a legitimate BL anime.

I actually like the protag, but I don’t like the love interest, which is pretty disappointing... And it sort of rushed into the sexytime stuff. There were multiple kisses in this first episode alone, and even one of those fade-to-next-morning sex scenes. Isn’t that a little fast paced? At least the guys have nipples in this one.

Right, got a bit sidetracked there. The main characters are actors, one of whom is a veteran and one of whom is new to the scene. It’s pretty standard fare as far as BL plots go. I can’t tell if there’s going to be a broader cast, but I would sure hope so, because the chemistry between the main pair isn’t so entertaining that it could carry the show alone. Oh, or maybe this will go on to be about different characters in different circumstances, like an anthology?

The lead is a fun character, but I’m not sure there’s a lot else here for me. Maybe if some other cute guys show up I could be roped back into this one, but for now it’s a No.

Gakuen Basara - It’s an anime taking the characters from Sengoku Basara and putting them in high school. I didn’t get a lot out of this one, because I’ve never played a single Sengoku Basara game.

The animation is okay, but has a sort of drab, unappealing color scheme that’s tough to explain. The characters look all right though, as I had to go look people up and so ended up comparing them to their in-game counterparts.

I stopped watching at the commercial break because it just wasn’t funny or entertaining to me. Maybe if you really love the games, there could be something to this one, but for me it’s definitely No.

Irozuku Sekai no Ashita kara - The premise for this anime is practically bludgeoned over your head in one of the least elegant opening scenes I’ve ever watched. The lead girl meets her grandma to watch some fireworks, and the grandma basically says, “I’m going to send you back in time.” Why? And the girl doesn’t even get a choice; she sounds like she’s hearing about this for the first time. Seems kind of cruel, don’t you think?

But the art is very pretty, and the atmosphere is soft. The protagonist is a bore, but they introduced some other characters who could prove to be fun enough to make up for her. I guess magic is real, so there’s that, and the lead girl can’t see color, except for in drawings done by this one guy we barely got to meet. Some whimsical stuff going on here.

For a show that looks high budget as this, I desperately hope it provides more story. This episode, quite literally, raised more questions than it gave answers. I am actually a bit curious though. I think it’s a solid Maybe.

Hinomaru Sumo - I’m really surprised... but this one was very good!

It’s a shounen anime about sumo. I can’t tell if sumo is really something very popular or not, but this anime (like all good shounen) manages to make it look like the coolest shit in the world. Production quality is above-average, and the cast has unique designs. Voice acting really packed a punch too.

That said, I’m not sure I’m super invested in it. I think it’s good, but idk that I really care to watch it that much? Maybe I’ll come back to it if I get bored. A weird “I approve, but No.”

Tonari no Kyuuketsuki-san - Uwah, I’m blown away. I think this is my favorite show I’ve watched so far this season!! I was not prepared for that.

A girl goes into the woods to meet a “living doll,” but she turns out to be a vampire. Also, she doesn’t live in the woods. They end up becoming friends, and then the protag basically strongarms her way into moving in with the vampire.

It’s a very silly premise, but the jokes landed one after another. I was laughing a lot! And I took a lot of screencaps, too. It reminded me of my halcyon days unabashedly anime blogging on this very blog.

I’m absolutely sold. This one’s my easiest and most enthusiastic Yes!

Uchi no Maid ga Uzasugiru - I like this one. Sorry. Yes. 

Jokes aside, I took a break after Kyuuketsuki-san, so here seems the perfect interval to talk about this show, because I actually watched it last week.

It’s about a woman who used to serve in the military, but applies to work as a maid in her return to civilian life. The young girl in her care hates her, and doesn’t want a maid in the house, no matter what it takes. It’s the kind of plot that reminds me of a movie, but I haven’t been able to place which one. Huh.

I thought it was decently funny, and the production quality was high - the art in this show places it among the growing ranks of “best looking from the season.” I absolutely love the ending sequence! It might be my favorite of them all.

So why the “sorry?” Well, the maid is... I’ll use a euphemism here. If the maid was offered the opportunity to transform herself into a little girl à la Cagliostro from Granblue Fantasy, she would enthusiastically accept. Here’s hoping it stays far away from anything perverse.

I said already, but Yes... for now.

Kishuku Gakkou no Juliet - This was one of those shows where as soon as I started the episode, I wanted it to be over. Still, I tried to endure as much of it as I was able. Surprisingly, I watched the whole thing.

It’s really not that bad. The art looks nice, so you can tell they tried. But the plot totally lost me. It’s a very basic Romeo & Juliet set up: there’s two factions at a school of some kind and they hate each other. But the main man from one side and the leading lady from the other end up in a relationship, which they keep a secret.

The thing I don’t get, however, is why these two factions hate each other. They were seriously brawling - an entire student body of high schoolers beating the shit out of each other, over which dorm they live in, or something? And at the end of the first episode, the two protags duel with real swords! This doesn’t appear to be a full-on fantasy universe, so why is everyone fighting so much?

It’s not awful by any stretch, but I get the impression this is going to be one of those romances where every development is agonizing. I feel a little bad ragging on it so much, especially because the ending scene actually did make me smile. I simply don’t have it in me to watch stuff like this very often anymore. No.

Yagate Kimi ni Naru - Ohhh... it’s good. It’s really good.

Okay, well, as far as romances go, I don’t know that I would describe it as anything particularly ambitious or mold-breaking, but still. It’s just... one of those instances where they set the standard very high. It’s Quality™.

A girl starting her first year in high school is rused into joining the student council. She’s been putting off replying to a confession from a middle school friend because she can’t tell whether she actually wants to date him. But she meets one of her senpai, who shares her feelings exactly: “Up until now, when someone’s said they like me, it’s never made my heart flutter.”

The protag is so cute, I want everything to go well for her. Although I think she might have an ever-so-slightly high expectation of love (she seems heavily influenced by manga and popular songs), I also understand her desire to really feel it, and not simply go with the motions or be in a relationship “just because.” She’s a pretty relatable character, though I want to see what the rest of the cast ends up contributing.

The art is so pretty! I love everything about how the scenery and characters look. There were these novel first-person scenes used sparingly, and to great effect. Soft, pleasant bgm, too.

It’s such a comfy anime. Yes.

CONCLUSION - Yeesh... That was a lot. I’m happy though, because Friday has some seriously good shows lined up! I probably wouldn’t have checked out Kyuuketsuki-san or Yagate Kimi ni Naru, so I was missing out.

Going off of MAL though, my total is already at 10 shows. That’s almost too many, maybe... Depending on how many I truly end up with, I might actually make some cuts, lol.