#howd she even find my post

[fairycosmos]

wake up bestie you’re on Gemma Styles (Harry Styles’) sister instagram story :)

thats fucking wilddddddddd LMFAO

[insertdisc5]

game development question, howd you get the music for your games done/find musicians to work with? what was the process like and how hard was it?

id love to make a game of my own some day, but the scariest part of that to me is the music because i can learn to code and i can already draw, but music just seems. a bit too hard

thank you in advance ^^ sorry if you already answered this somewhere

this is perfectly timed because we're almost done with our search for a composer for project ts!

tldr: just get someone to do it for you. you don't have to do everything.

for isat, i was already in contact with Lindar from my first game Serre! I think I was just saying on twitter that music was hard, and Lindar DM'd me with some samples, so she was hired on the spot lol

as for project ts, Amazing Producer Dora put a few posts out on social media (twitter and linkedin iirc?) asking if people would be interested, and we got a good chunk of answers.

looking for musicians yourself and asking for their availability would work too!

as for what you'll need imo, your budget is the most important to figure out imo. How much can you spend on this? Songs are usually X$/song, or X$/minute of song. Look for rates online! Or ask them for a quote! Or just tell them "i have this amount of money what can i get for this"!!! Also you need to know when you'll need this by. Give them a deadline! Even if the deadline is something you work on together later!

After that, how many songs do you need from them? It doesnt need to be COMPLETELY set in stone, but try and keep to it. Give them moods-- you probably would need a title song, a happy song, a sad song, a tense song, a "walking around" song, and go from there.

And then, the Mood. You don't need to know EXACTLY what you want, but just something to get them started! Or at the very least, have a primer with the story/look of it, and a couple of mood words, and let them do what they're good at. Don't stress too much about not knowing music words, so far I've worked with musicians who don't mind me just going "this needs more oomph" lol, but every musician is different!

for reference, this is the sheet i gave Lindar for ISAT's soundtrack:

those are my thoughts as a person who hires composers, i'd be curious to know what composers think!

[kit-kat-jo]

My Murder Drones Finale Analysis... 2/2 - 1/2

jesus, imagine getting your entire life force RIPPED out your body, and being able to look back at it. i feel like this is only a taste of what the dissassembly drones went through during transformation.

uzi desperately trying to scoop her core back into her gaping open chest will haunt me for life, i think. and her hands haven't regenned yet, leaving her to scramble even more. absolutely. horrific. probably gonna be the most gruesome moment in this series for me altogether. didn't even notice N getting yoinked away there lol

this whole sequence as well… we, or N starts hearing a second voice while she repeats “let me in,” but who is it?? the actual cyn? one thing i know for sure though, is here is where N starts to get his past flashbacks, specifically of being torn apart and transformation. fuuuucked. up

i realize now that Uzi’s protecting her core from Cyn’s callback pings in all the times she’s grabbing at her chest, but at first i really thought she was terrified of losing her core again. which: UNDERSTANDABLE GIRLIE!! MY heart?? broke.

so, N did see the actual Cyn while he got tore open. and now he’s having proper trauma flashbacks and getting back bits and pieces. this absolutely breaks my heart, seeing how desperately panicked he gets, watching memories of what i’m only assuming is V being transformed. my sweet baby. for a moment i thought for sure he was going into a full panic attack. it’s a good thing hand holding pulled him out of a full on episode, but i think this man deserves a nice big breakdown after everything to process all the shit he’s been through. pretty sure V needs the same thing, having held onto these memories a whole lot longer. post series group therapy sesh?

i think i'm gonna hear CALLBACK PING in my nightmares, actually.

AND THIS IS WHERE I FUCKING CRY!!! after everything, after learning J was never on their side, V breaks. she needs to let everything out in the open to N. her apology and genuine emotion is so, so important to me… she LOVES him! always did! and it fucking hurt to have to hide like she did, only for it to all be a trick! she wanted to be honest with him this whole time, but she was so scared! she felt like she HAD to resort to acting resentful towards him and pushing him away! it gets me so, so bad.

and then N sacrifices his own safety to save her.

also teefs.

sorry

oh god. when V realizes that she’s only led N to his death… and that this long ago promise was only one big trick… everything falls down around her. she desperately grasps at being able to fix this. she blames herself. as Eternal Dream plays in the background… it was always their song, man. it was always V singing to N. so many of the lyrics fucking HURT now, putting it into this bittersweet context.

“let my body keep you warm, let my essence be your breeze, can you hear me calling? please look out for me. can you set me free?” it was always a love letter to N. (platonically. i see it platonically, better yet, in a sibling way.) the wishes she had for him to know everything. for them to be together. for her to not have to hide. to go home, to be set free from her neverending dream. it’s all so horrible and lovely and poetic to me. she deserves everything. they deserve everything.

and then her expressions as Cyn’s about to eat N’s heart, agonizingly slowly, staring her straight in the eyes so mockingly to pour salt in the colossal gaping wound. HEGGDHHSGSGGH💔

on a side note, i find it so interesting how, seemingly, a drone’s core magnetically gets yanked back to the body as soon as it gets a tiny chance. very ehm… helpful.

bi uzi tho. QUEEEEEEN PROUD OF HER FOR COMING OUT 💜

“glad you’re not dead or whatever.” waaaahahahh. they care for each other. bwuhuhuhh.

here, howd she stop letting the callback ping effect her….? just from being cringe and free?…. queen i guess?

also, she can effectively control the solver without cyn making it go crazy anymore. is this a result of just practicing and gaining more control over it? she’s just built different? or another plot hole? shrug noise. i said i was oddly okay with the plot holes, so that stands true here too.

nori already flinging herself into mom mode with her terms of endearment had me CRYING BRO!!! development!! she went from “i caused every horror in her life,” i gotta stay away from her, to HELL YEAH THAT’S MY DAUGHTER, KICKING ASS!! mom of the year ❤️

the entire fight scene was SO GOOD!!! i need AJ Dispirito’s “Bite Me” song injected into my bloodstream RIGHT NEOOWW!!

i’m obsessed with seeing them hold hands to calm each other down after a moment that affects one of them. it’s my favorite thing. we came so far from episode 6…… wipes tear

the lyrics focused on these two here is interesting to me… V saying to let her go, Uzi saying she’s not worth saving… either i’m looking too deep into it or OUCH GUYS NOOHOHO, MY SWEETIES

this had to be giffed. also, i love these scenes breaking the immersion several times and showing that all this time the nightcore is just playing through uzi’s ipod in the distance. absolutely genius.

i’ll admit, i was so confused from the black hole scene at first. but now i understand somewhat. after uzi grabbed her core and formed a [null,] she essentially had cyn’s life force. all those times she got away by turning herself into a black hole and floating off... that was essentially HER. in the void here, cyn had to try and get it back to come back to the living, like a drone putting their core back in their chest but in a weird, eltrich cyn way, i guess? instead of her core, its the manifestation of the solver itself? cyn’s and tessa’s bodies are so far gone, that all that’s left is the solver? and as soon as uzi saw what was happening, she knew she couldn’t have it back.

she fucking eated it…. homph. that was not on cyn’s bingo card. the eyes are HILARIOUS

awwwww husband wife reunion! she is so uzi’s mother.

and now, before we get into the end of things, my vizzy propaganda. not only did lizzy KNOW that v wasnt dead, and distracted j for her, but now, in @ottterpops' words, the sentinel is just like the pet she doesn’t want. its her and v’s daughter now, it’ll grow on her for sure : )

and now, my chosen video! :D

EVERYTHING about this scene, N calling for her, the HUG, him squeezing the LIFE out of her, her noises of getting choked and giggling, sent arrows straight through my heart, THEYRE SUCH CUTIES AAUHHHHG!! n spinning her around and throwing her in the air, her tackling v, ugh! THEY GOT THEIR HAPPY LITTLE ENDING!

she’s a fucking mary sue guys, ohhhh my lord. the eyes are so so cool though, they literally look like a sunset. she is living her best mary sue life now, jesus christ. she deserves it ❤️

uzi, uzi my beloved. she feels like a dear, dear friend, my sweet little emo who goes through the horrors and comes out of it with all her unhinged goofy cringe. i love her so, so much, and i’m SO fucking proud of these three. they deserve the happiest little life together.

and lastly, end credits!!! during the series rewatch, my friends and i joked that the finale should involve n getting to play a game of cards with everyone. and HAHA SKFHSJCKSJDHDJS

oh they’re def watching a scary movie… look at the way they hold onto each other, i’m done 😭😭 if i redraw anything, it’s gonna be this first tbh.

i ran out of space for images again, but! the solver still being alive in uzi is so good, she’s gonna be a real pain in the ass… the implications this brings up is so fun to think about, ugh the possibility for spinoff series is crazy! i’ll be waiting with baited breath for more content from glitch, whatever it may be! i’ll be happy!

alright, this is probably the longest frickin post i���ve ever made. but god, did i love this show. i’m so grateful my friend got me into it, and i can’t wait to continue loving it, rewatching it and messing with my stories for as long as that’s gonna last.

thank you Murder Drones, Glitch, and Liam Vickers. now to waste money that i don’t have on merch!! 💫

[a-manicured-lawn]

So I know you like Spirit…what do you think his role would be if he is added to Jojo’s Lay boys? Any headcanons for his personality?

I DO LOVE SPIRIT HOWD YOU KNOW is it cause I won’t shut up about him?

Well! If he was added to Jojo’s cast, I’m honestly not sure. There was an old post mentioning a link with rivets in his tunic in the profile banner back when she was answering asks on tumblr, but she refused to say who exactly it was. There’s been a few suspicions that this rivet hero is in fact the riveting Hero of Spirits himself!

Much as I hate to say it, if spirit were to officially find himself on the LU roster, that is probably what he’d look like. An aged-up version of himself, probably with a few more years of service under his belt, although as a knight or as an engineer is the real question.

Ingame, there’s a dialogue option with Spirit’s Zelda (Phantom? Spooky?) where she’ll ask you what you want to do after the adventure. You’re given three options: be a knight, an engineer, or undecided. If you choose a knight you’ll get an endgame cutscene of Spirit fighting in the courtyard as a knight trainee, and if you choose an engineer you’ll get a cutscene of him driving past the castle and I don’t know what happens if you pick undecided someone please let me know I always pick engineer.

If Jojo goes the knight route I worry he may become a carbon copy of the other knights and knight adjacents in the Chain as a rough blend of Wars, Sky, pre-Calamity Wild and Legend.

Should he be an engineer, however, I believe he may find his place alongside Four servicing more magical items as Four handles swords and shields. He may also serve as an inventor, finding novel and more modern solutions to issues the Chain faces.

However, this speaks mostly to his physical place in the chain, rather than his personality. Unfortunately, with no manga and just his ingame personality, a glass of water has more life than him. The only time he shows any kind of interest outside the player is in response to his Zelda, and that’s to blush when he first sees her and to be delighted when she threatens violence. Thus, any personality has to be built ground up.

Now, I’m not Jojo (obviously), but with such a blank slate I can’t help but add my own ideas and model for an LU spirit (which has a WIP! It’s HUGE!) to add onto the Chain.

Ingame, Spirit and Wind actually have the exact same character models, only changing Wind’s clothes into engineer duds. Thus, I’d headcanon them as identical twins. Slightly different, just because they are still separate heroes, such as giving one or the other freckles or paler skin or different eye colors (blue vs green vs black?) to help tell them apart, but otherwise basing it off of clothes.

For personality, I’d honestly make a foil to Wind. He’s a bright, exuberant young kid, which would be paired beautifully to a shyer, more reserved twin. I’ve noticed that in canon all of the Links tend to have forceful personalities (yes, even Hyrule, shy Hyrule is fanon but if I’m wrong PLEASE tell me I love shy hyrule) which can lead to personality clashes. However, with a quieter personality in the mix, it can lead to Wind “stepping up”, so to speak. Making sure Spirit is heard over all the hubbub, sharing stories to keep Spirit out of the spotlight, etc etc.

However, if spirit were to become canon I doubt that’s how it would go. It’s a bit out there, especially considering the other Links’ personalities like I mentioned before. The fandom represents, though! There’s SO many Spirits out there by now and I am DELIGHTED each time I come across a new one!

[talonslockau]

howd u decide on mates

By taking canon and punting it into the trash.

But for real, I'll start by saying this: When I first started writing this AU, I kept a lot of my notes in my head. I've written a lot down now, but a lot of the 'whys' and 'hows' are lost to time. So when I write explanations now, they may or may not be my original reasoning. I'm also a 'veteran' of the Warriors series - when I first started reading, Power of Three hadn't yet come out - so I remember back when the family tree didn't include Darkstripe, and Sandstorm's dad was Redtail, and Graystripe's parents were... unfortunate. So for a lot of reasons, I've kind of cherry-picked what is canon from canon and what isn't.

Second, since it's pride month; I'm not beholden to making straight pairings like canon is. You'll probably notice that given that there's only 2 cishet appearing mated pairs so far - Graystripe/Silverstream and Willowbranch/Quickflash. In fact, in terms of 'normal' (my base assumption) for characters, most start in my head as Aromantic/Asexual, like me! This is part of why Fireheart himself is aroace in my story - that, and I have plenty of canon evidence for him being aro, at least in my head. I also wanted to make sure that I gave as much rep as possible for everyone to attach to - there's Lionheart and Whitestorm being big gays (Ravenspirit and Barley will eventually show up there as well), Goldenflower and Frostfur being lovely lesbians (plus another lesbian pairing later I think fans will adore), and there's a few prominent bisexual characters that haven't yet shown their bisexuality off but may eventually. (Tigerclaw probably counts as bi rep too, I suppose, but rest assured he's not the only one.)

Pairings from there generally go off of what I need for the story - which I'll explain in depth below the cut for each pairing ;)

Redtail x Tigerclaw - A long time ago, at least a couple of years, I read a Tumblr post that said something like 'The warriors series is just the result of Redtail and Tigerclaw breaking up' and that stuck with me. Unfortunately, I don't remember who posted it, though I'll gladly credit if anyone finds it. That post ended up being the foundation for my entire rewrite - 'Embrace of the Locked Talons' refers specifically to Redtail and Tigerclaw! I've learned since that there are a few rewrites that use this premise, so it's not necessarily an uncommon one, but there you go.

As for their kits! I chose Sandstorm to be one because, as I said earlier, she was always a Redtail kit to me (though she isn't any longer - sadge). Dustleap was the other because, honestly, I always thought they were siblings with how close they generally were and how they were always referred to as older than the rest. They also have similar names (Sand and Dust). Dustleap is also, if not a Tiger-ally, then Tiger-adjacent, and his similar description to Tigerclaw always made me think they were related. Them being Redtail and Tigerclaw kids made perfect sense to me!

Tigerclaw x Nightwish - I wanted Ravenpaw to still be Dustleap's brother, but it didn't really fit to shove him in with them to be a third of their litter (Sand, Dust, and... Raven?). Plus, even though he's obviously traumatized from watching Redtail die, I think that if any other cat had been deputy and died in front of him he'd still have the same reaction - so it didn't make sense to make him a Redtail kit. I ended up conceptualizing him as a half-brother to Dustleap to explain how they're related but so distant from each other compared to Dustleap and Sandstorm - they're not littermates, and he's only further evidence their parents aren't getting back together.

Still, if he's a Tigerclaw kit, I needed him to have a second parent - Tigerclaw's not the type to be a single parent, really. He'd rather have a mate to throw in his ex's face. Going through the cats of the Clan at that point, I arrived at Nightwish looking similar to him and concluded she'd be a logical mother. Her dying was to explain why there's no one else really able to stand up to Tigerclaw over his son's treatment. Dappleshine does her best, since she ended up raising him, but she doesn't really have a claim to stand up to Tigerclaw - short of if he got physically abusive, at which point she would have absolutely stood up to him, as would most of the other warriors.

Dappleshine x Speckleflight - I'm going to be honest, I don't remember the reason for putting these two together. I had envisioned both as very matronly characters, older nursery queens who looked out for the younger members of the Clan and offered advice to new queens. I suppose at one point I was trying to decide on mates for them and wondered, but what if they kissed? And the rest is history.

Whitestorm x Lionheart - When I first read the books, I always saw Whitestorm and Lionheart as a pair - two strong, wise men that were very close to each other. I'm not entirely sure how I got that off half a book, given Lionheart dies in Into the Wild, but that was always my headcanon. When I got the chance, I leaped to make my headcanon reality.

Frostfur x Goldenflower - This is another one where my brain just smacked two cats together and said they were tied together somehow for life. They're not siblings, obviously, but why can't they be girlfriends in a gay for gay with Whitestorm and Lionheart? I love picturing these two in a giant fluffy cuddle pile, surrounded by their numerous children <3

Willowbranch x Quickflash - I'd already tapped Graystripe to be Willowbranch's son, as per canon, but he needed a new father that wasn't Patchpelt. I went through my list of possible cats around her age that weren't related, and all I could come up with were Longtail, Quickflash, and Mousefur. (And Darkstripe, but Darkstripe being Graystripe's father just didn't compute in my head.) I wanted to leave Longtail and Mousefur available - I hadn't yet decided if they were siblings, mates, or something else - so that just left Quickflash.

I'd already tapped Quickflash for the deputy job, as someone no one would care about when he died. Obviously, with him being Graystripe's father, that last part changed, but I think that was for the better. Given the only bits of him we get in canon are 'Not terribly good with children' and 'Young', and that first part wouldn't apply if he had children, I ended up completely rewriting his character to suit my needs. I like how it turned out, in the end - He'll certainly be missed, but his death ended up complicating the plot in all the right ways.

I won't address the ones that remain from canon, like Graystripe x Silverstream, but in general I didn't mess with characters whose relationship was already important to the original plot - things like Yellowfang and Raggedstar, for example, or Speckleflight and Snowkit. There are certainly changes I made to make relationships important to the plot - things like Brokentail's son, Quickflash being Graystripe's father - and I obviously changed details that were important to later plots (like Thistleclaw being Snowstorm's mate) - but the original plot's original relationships remain intact.

Lastly, I'd like to comment on our aro reps! It's important to me to have characters that don't have mates, and that they're considered just as valuable and respected warriors as those that do have mates and kits. You might notice some omissions from this list that don't currently have mates, or may never get mates, and that's intentional! Not every mateless cat is aro rep, though you can certainly imagine them to be that if it pleases you.

Patchpelt - In my head, he's an old, grumpy war veteran that has never liked children, which ends up showing when he mentors Dewpaw. None of the mollies or toms in the Clan have ever interested him - certainly, he gets along fine with them, but he's never found any cat that interested him in becoming a mate. He's happy with where he is in the elders' den, chatting his days away with his old friends and being waited on by little upstarts.

Spottedleaf - She may be beautiful, if not young, but while Spottedleaf has drawn the gaze of many cats she's never been interested in taking a mate - which is part of why she became a healer. Spottedleaf doesn't need companionship when she has her beautiful self, after all.

Longtail - Longtail is a devoted warrior, and he believes in Tigerclaw, Bluestar, and Thunderclan with his whole heart. He may not like certain members (like Fireheart) but he respects their contributions to the Clan. He follows the code to the letter - knows it inside and out, better than any cat in all the Clans. With all that dedication, it doesn't seem as if he has time for a mate - though the same could have been said for his brother Quickflash, and he and Willowbranch ended up quite happily together. Regardless, even if Longtail can be a little grouchy, he's happy with his current lot in life, and he doesn't need a cat alongside him to change that.

Mistspring - We don't see much of Mistspring outside of her role in mentoring Cinderspark. Needless to say, even though both her sisters settled down with a mate fairly early, she was never interested in the nursery. She loves the Clan, and her friends within it, but she has no need to fill her life with a mate or kits when the world around her is so filled with wonder to explore.

Dewpaw - Dewpaw's never quite understood the desire other cats have to find a mate. Kits are a different story - being able to watch them grow and help nurture them fascinates her - but needing to have someone alongside you for every pawstep in life seems like a hassle. Luckily, her love of knowledge and herbs, as well as her aversion to fighting, lead her to a life as a healer. Now she helps the Clan grow and thrive, and she couldn't be happier.

Fireheart - Simply put, Fireheart doesn't understand love. At all. How could it possibly drive Graystripe to abandon the family he loves and ignore all rational sense that something, eventually, will lead to him getting caught? Why would it lead Redtail to ignore the danger Tigerclaw poses to Thunderclan until it was too late? He understands anger very well, and grief (even if he's never personally experienced it), but love? It just doesn't make any sense.

As always, thank you for the question, anon. Sorry if you weren't expecting something so thorough, but it *is* pride month and I felt like celebrating :)

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Howd we miss this? Her favorite wine my ass! The name of Kevin Costners production company is Tig Productions est. 1992 by u/Specialist-Car-1860

How’d we miss this? Her favorite wine, my ass! The name of Kevin Costner’s production company is Tig Productions, est. 1992 I saw this posted on Twitter/X from Greenwich and it checks out (see links below). Tig was the name of Costner’s grandmother. This is the production company that did The Bodyguard and many of his other movies. What did Megsy do? Search for something with ”Tig” in the title, find the wine, and then retrofit that into the name of her blog?????She sure likes borrowing monikers from grandmothers. And examples like this are piling up…they are too numerous to list at this point! It beggars belief that all of the copycat names/branding/cosplay are coincidental. Makes me wonder what other easter eggs she has hidden in her life story that we haven’t uncovered yet. And we are not “derangers“ for pointing this out.I know that copying or mirroring can be unconscious and even normal in small doses. It’s the way babies and toddlers learn and teenagers do this in their quest to figure out who they are. Taken to an extreme, it can be a sign of a mental health disorder, like BPD. The theory is that people with an underdeveloped (or even no) sense of self can latch on to others’ behaviors, traits, personalities, styles, etc. to help define themselves. (HG calls this “character trait acquisition“.)All I can say is that it must be absolutely terrifying to be on the world stage without a firm grasp of who you are as a person. It must also be like a dagger thru the heart when we disassemble her carefully crafted persona piece by piece.Tig Productions LinksArchived: https://ift.tt/YMCu1qR https://www.avid.wiki/Tig_Productions​ post link: https://ift.tt/eX7yVLD author: Specialist-Car-1860 submitted: November 07, 2023 at 11:21PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

[leafonground]

i mentioned doki in my last post and yeah i kinda dont talk about it as much as the other seasons ive completed huh.

despite my incoming hater rant i uh. dont hate it? but i like every other season ive seen better and that includes tropical rouge, which despite being my first season i do find mid now. though thats really not enough credit to doki, its highs are higher, but its lows are waaaaay lower.

(ramble incoming, not important, just my own scuffed opinion, but its under the cut. also spoilers.)

first off, elephant-shaped ira in the room, yes im a self identified card carrying cure ace hater. i can own that, im fine with it, star twinkle madoka is best madoka, but also i feel like that doesnt give the nuace of how i feel enough credit. its sorta like, yes the fake-out was lame, but a fake out like that is supposed to make more sense in hindsight, when you see the rest of the story and know why it happened, but we REALLY didnt get that. was literally a deus ex machina to save the cures from getting washed by fucked up and evil and purple regina, then proceeds to become an even bigger problem than regina by finessing manas lovies while shes sad about losing her blonde villain gf.

i then made jokes about how aguri is homophobic for the rest of the show

proceeds to be a colossal dickhead for the next 10 episodes, then its revealed she cant back it up cus of the whole time limit thing that they discard at the end, and then just. says sowwy and fades into the bg until endgame arc starts. like we see that she was watching the cures beforehand, but then NEVER stepped in until the regina thing, which. why? she didnt know she and regina were split off from ange until way later, what compelled her? that the cures were gonna lose? howd that not get her moving the several times thatd already happened? theres no reasoning behind it, she shows up, acts like a dickhead, and turns endgame into the aguri show and turns makotos whole arc into an afterthought. most we get out of her after that was the brush your teeth episode. imo actively made the show worse off.

not the only one though cus okada joe, fresh from getting his wife killed and losing his homeworld, gets sent to the main world, immediately starts hitting on middle schoolers. its been said that they were gonna go full coco on this dude but one higherup said "ya nah", but its hard to tell if that happened before or after the show started airing, cus it only fully stops once we see him in the armour suit, going "i miss my wife tails makoto. i miss her a lot" when he was trying to rizz her up like 20 episodes ago. bigger danger to children than king selfish at that rate. only good thing about aguri imo is that okada joe vanishes for like 12 episodes since him meeting aguri would advance the plot.

alice is also kinda lame. nothing else for me to say except half of the alice episodes felt like sebastian the butler episodes, except those were actually fun cus he has a personality thats more than a gentrified toothpick

but also the shows highs are REALLY GOOD. rikka is awesome. the first villain trio is excellent. every scene with regina in it is peak, especially the midseason arc (before aguri anyway). they made a line sticker of that one scene where regina and mana sleep in the same bed and thats the most adorable shit ive ever seen. that one pre-endgame episode with regina and rikka gave kira a run for its money with the funny homo factor. speaking of rikka, the first straight ship (not you raquel) ive seen the series push that isnt either basic as fuck or vomit inducing.

also mana is okay you guys are just mean. when yr in the same show as aguri the mary sue allegations kinda just explode into a cloud of steam

but thats not enough for doki to beat the mid allegations imo. which is a huge shame, this show has so much going for it, but it consistently put a focal point on the things that make it worse! and also why i havent posted about it until literally today, it isnt genuinely great like heartcatch or st, it doesnt have dedicated brain worms inside my frontal lobe like mahopre or kira, and it isnt a show thats overall good but then fumbled its main twist in the most personally aggravating to me way possible like tropical rouge.

oh yeah while im here ive also watched go princess, but that shows issues are more in that anything that isnt towa is kinda just fucking boring, (which is also a shame cus towas the best precure character period bar none) but thats a post for another time

[circi-chirps]

I WILL (long post)

so this "girl" named Amber lives in a coastal city with two kids, Eliza and Star. Amber's on the run from "bad people" but wont specify why. well one day, on her day off, she goes to the store with her girls and on her way back, one of her coworkers (whos a major DICK) starts tryna pick a fight with someone bc he thinks him and his kid are Buveé (theyre not) but his friend and their niece are. Amber jumps into the fight and tells him off and defends the other four from the coworker when the guards show up and everyone scatters (bc fighting is illegal) the person he accused's friend trips the coworker as they run and hide in an alley and he gets caught. Amber and the other four sneak into the cafe that was part of the alleyway they hid in and find Amber's girls safe and sound. the cafe owner even gives all of them free lunch. after lunch, they all part ways. Amber and her girls go home, the two who got accused (Blue and Neptune) travel to the next town over, and the last two (Luna and Sevy) try to catch a train home. At Amber's house, just as the three sat down to eat, theres a knock on the door. its the guard (she thinks) and they tell her they have a witness placing her at an illegal fight in town. Amber tells them,"no i work there, today was my day off" and one of the guards replies,"why dont you come into the the guard's office for some questioning, just to be safe?" She tells them know andthe guard says,"C'mon, we wouldn't wanna keep the boss waiting, now would we?" so Amber clocks him in the face and shoves the other guy down the stair and slams the door. she yells at the girl to grab their emergency bags and leave out the back door. they do so, and wait for Amber to grab her sword, pick up Star, grab Eliza's hand and RUN. Amber stops at the Cafe she works at and makes some quick food for the girls, and when theyre finished, they get ready to leave for the train station. not before Amber steals from the cash register and is confronted by the owner. Amber apologizes but the cafe owner just makes sure its enough for three tickets and sends her off with a weird box (its a dodecagon with arrows and turn dials on each side) and the girls make it to their train

the girls get there in the early hours of the morning and find a hotel which (THANKFULLY) has free breakfast. on the way back up to their room, the elevator stops to pick someone up and its... Blue and Neptune? theyre very awkward in the elevator but Blue thanks Amber again. Blue ends up asking what Amber and the girls are doing in Cadence and Amber confesses that she and the girls are on the run. Blue offer's their sympathy. just as theyre about to leave, Blue offers to show them the city. Amber is hesitant and the girls insist ("PLEEEEASE AMBER PLEASEEE???") so Amber gives in. they spend the day checking out the city of Cadence. Blue invites Luna and Sevy to join them and they arrive the next day. they all check out more of the town and stop to sit in a park for lunch. Eliza's been trying to figure out how to open the box that the cafe owner gave Amber but she hasnt figured it out yet. Luna asks to try and Eliza hands it over. Luna turns a few dials then gets an idea and turns all the dials on a specific number and... it opens! Eliza asks,"howd you open it?? I've been trying to open it for the past two day!" Luna replies,"i just tried the Fibonacci Sequence. its probably the only thing i dont hate abt math" inside the box they find a veryyy old photo and a weirdly shapes key. they assume the key is for the building in the photo. Neptune mentions that he saw a museum and they decide to take the photo to the museum to see if someone there can tell them where the photo is. unfortunately, the museum is a music history museum. BUT! one of the workers there is a history nerd and tell them that it looks like the ruins of the Temple of Samael in Coral Village "but its in pristine condition! this photo must be worth a lot of money!" the group decided to travel on foot to Coral Village to find these ruins. everyone was just too curious and the further away Amber was from when she was last sighted, the better.

traveling on foot took way longer. they had to camp in the woods and sleep in shifts but trains were just too expensive for the seven of them. none of them minded too much. they found a small town called Antique Orchard and everything about screamed "RED FLAG!" everything looked... retro? there were vaccine reminders and missing persons flyers everywhere, but they needed food and a bed for the night. so they stopped at a family dinner and ate lunch, which was rudely interrupted by "the towns crazy lady" screaming,"THEY TOOK MY BABY!!" she was escorted outside. everyone went back to their meals but the group was very on edge and they looked over their shoulders on the way back to their motel. Amber got one room for her and the girls, while Luna and Blue split a room.

in Amber's room, Eliza and Star have convinced Amber to build Fort Eric! and ofc, Amber complys and builds the fort and the three fall asleep in each others arms.

In Luna and Blue's room, Neptune and Sevy are fast asleep, and Luna and Blue are catching up and having a blast! Theyre so happy to see each other again! Luna says, offhandedly,"I'm so glad we ran into each other again... i missed you" Blue doesnt respond and they sit in uncomfortable silence. Neptune stirs from his slumber and Blue soothes him back to sleep. "i missed you too..." the two go to sleep with tension. the next morning, after Amber almost stabbed Blue for banging in her door, the seven set back off to walk to the next town. that is, until the town's crazy lady jumps out and grabs Blue by the shoulders. the lady, Natilie, cries out,"They took my baby! they killed her and this damn town is too brainwashed to notice!" Blue warns Natilie to let go and she does. Amber urges Natilie to explain, and she does.

the group splits up, Amber and the kids go to Natilie's house where Natilie reveals a messy journal of information on the recent missing persons and deaths. Amber is astounded, there must be over a hundred of funeral notices cut out of newspapers in the journal. Amber is sickened

Luna and Blue walk in tense silence back to the dinner they ate at the day before. Amber instructed to the two to "act like a couple looking to move". easier said than done. Blue,"ya know, we're going to have to talk about it" Luna responds,"...i know." Blue pressures Luna to explain why they ghosted him. Luna stutters and stumbles over their words and Blue just keeps pushing. Blue shouts,"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?" "BECAUSE I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU!" Luna retorted. Blue burst out in laughter. "What the hell?? you pressure an answer out of me then laugh at my confession??" Blue speaks through laughter,"No! its not that-! its just- Luna, honey, you're so dense!" "What?" they ask. Blue catches their breath and replies,"I was in love you too. So was Indigo! We both loved you, still love you. And if youll have us, we wanna be with you?" Luna stared at Blue with their mouth open, in shock. "Luna honey, you look like a goldfish." They kiss and finally make up after months of conflict. which helps in their acting! they make it to the dinner and talk to the server that served them yesterday and he tells about The Great Tess Family! the founders of this quaint little town! they run in the mayor's office, the local doctor's office, the local mortuary, the local funeral home, and even in the dinner! its very clear that the Tess Family is up to something, but the two keep up a smile until theyve asked enough questions and leave.

they meet up back at the motel and everyone shares their findings. The Tess Family clearly controls the town and must ve responsible for all the recent deaths, but why? what do they gain in killing people? nothing. that is, unless youre harvesting their organs for trafficking...

thats as far as ive written!

i wanna infodump abt Pangaea so bad

[artreider]

Daughter is down for the night, let's see if internet will allow me to watch and live blog the next episode.

Travis is so hurt and that just hurts me. I'm glad we are getting his backstory with Michael.

Okay so if Michael died in 2016 and it was 2009 at the start of the episode, then they were together for at least six years. So travis has been a firefighter at least 11 years at this point in the series. So what station was he at, and how did he and Michael meet. Im just curious because theo calls his buddy michael probie and then doesnt say travis name. Travis tells him name and instead of calling probie as well making me believe he had been either a firefighter for a bit longer than Michael or he is from a different station, because surely if they were all at the same station he would call him by name or maybe travis is from a different shift at the station.

I love this episode but it still left me with questions.

Also so i didnt even make it five minutes in, thanks internet let's restart it.

Also are they all in the same academy class because it sounds like it.

I'm not okay with travic being not a dynamic duo at the start, i love their friendship.

Hey look the captain has returned lol, also this sushi conversation i have had with my coworker. Leftover sushibis just wrong, fight me on this. Im glad maya agrees. Also i agree with sulluvan its from the grocery store, i dont eat my sushi from anywhere but a restaurant thats gross, and making it day old is worse.

Of course travis agrees with the sushi talk, they are truly two peas in a pod. Im surprised vic didnt ask to stay at maya and carina's for a few days.

I like theo and jack this episode.

Vic looks tripped out by travis showing her his scars lmao. Travis and this scar analogy is fantastic and makes me giggle, so dramatic.

I still dont know how i feel about these two drug addicts.

First commercial and i just want to add that the sushi scene i love, the family feel is wonderful.

Michael and travis are so cute. Also how long was theo a captain before michael died?

Listening to libby you can tell how troubled travis is by the look on his face. Its like he's thinking what if something were to happen to Hughes and we weren't in a good place.

Im glad jack came to talk to theo. It's good for them both.

Emmett you cutie. Im glad he is speaking truths to travis.

This proposal is so cute, the double proposal makes me so happy.

Travis needs to become a dad, he so wanted that future with Michael.

Its so cute that theo was there for the proposal and his best friends. Who stood up for travis at the wedding and who married michael and travis? Im headcanoning theo marrying them.

I totally get travis's feelings about theo in light of Michael's death but with how involved he was with the two i wish travis had found some way to heal with his friend sooner.

Vic trying to discuss Emmett, oh i love you.

This scene by the trees is so tough.

I bet they had so much fun shooting this even if it was difficult material.

So travis is in a apartment instead of his house with michael, howd that happen.

The things they are saying to each other are so hard. Everyone grieves differently.

Okay how long was theo a firefighter before he became captain. They were possibly in the academy in 2009, he was training for lt in 2010 and in 2012 he was put up for captain. So it seems he was on the fast track like maya. Okay he was only at lt for 6 months with may he a bit longer than maya.

Though she definitely made better decisions as captain. Also i love that ripley put up for it and ripley is who told maya to become lt and that she'd be a good captain.

Theo's joke about dying in a fire is just wrong.

Theo did make a bad call like travis worried but his being green should be a reason to find forgiveness for him.

Im glad michael stood uo for his friend. Also travis asked if it was a good idea theo being michaels captain, not ours. That further leads me to believe that travis was at a different station. I really cant shake the thought that he was at station 19 by this point for the simple fact of capt hererra saying he hand picked all of them.

Its nice that travis is finally talking to vic about his anger and sadness over michael, his grief and apologizing for his comments about ripley.

Okay so based off the past episodes for the characters, gibson and miller have been at the station longer than andy and maya and it appears travis has been as well. So that just has me questioning how long hughes has been, did we get dates when we learned how she became a firefighter, i cant remember.

Who notified travis that Michael was gone? He wasn't on scene otherwise he'd already have seen theo.

Theo was so good to own up to his mistake to the higher ups and travis.

The house vs apartment thing bothers me about station 19. Like maya's apartment always felt like a house and then we see its an apartment. Travis lived in a house with Michael and now has an apartment filled with Michael's things. Then Jack had an apartment or something in season 3 and now lives with martha and co. Then vic is basically homelessx had an apartment then jumped from friends homes. I dunno why i bothers me so, i guess it just feels so inconsistent, i dunno if that makes sense.

Ugh the ruiz and Gibson scene here is so good for them once again and im glad it helped marcus. Im sad marcus wont be a part of jacks life anymore.

Theo why did you decide to talk to vic about ripley? Not that it was a bad talk just curious what sparked it.

Travis im so proud of you, this talk here is so important for your healing. Vic i love your joke. Yay my travic is healing.

Okay so hughes was probie in 2016 after michael died. Ugh i need to know more about travis time at station 19 before during or after whatever michael died. Also when did andy and maya graduate im blanking on the year.

Travic's first scene at the station together is so lovely.

Ugh travis's phone call is so rough.

So travis cant vacation very well either, no wonder he told maya to enjoy her trip with carina in sesson 3.

The station 19 actors are so phenomenal. Such a wonderfully acted episode.

So as im sure my followers and anyone else reading this has gathered, i decided to do this live blog as one whole thing since the anon was upset by my previous posts. If you hate this and think i should go back to the other way let me know or if i should take their suggestion and creatr my own tag let me know. Basically if you are interested in my live blog please let me know what you think.

The anon has been weighing on me leading me to almost not want to finish my live blog of the series.

[sammysnaughtygirl]

the way you treat me

Fandom: Walker (TV 2021)Rating"R Warnings:adult content Characters: Cordell Walker (Walker TV 2021), Grace& Emily Tags: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Walker Bingo, Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Shameless Smut, Crossover Pairings, - Fantasy Summary: cordwell walker uses blackmail against rival Grace

Square Filled"blackmail,Angst cordell walker ,had had a bad day at work ,his face was smeared with redness as he had just bumped into an old friend and found out that she too was now a texas ranger and he couldnt understand what she was up to why she had joined the force why she had come back to town without informing him if made him fume with anger ,G race was cordy,s longtime friend but before she had left town without letting him know she was leaving they had become more than friends so he thought now he just didnt want to see her at all.his mind wondering what had sent her packing had also wanted to know what had brought her home cordell was so upset he just starting throwing things around the room shattering glass and smashing holes into the walls with his fist he was now in a new relationship with emily but if knew if he spent even just one moment with Grace he wouldnt be able to control himself because he knew deep down in his heart he wasnt over her so he made up his mind he just had to prepare himself for their reunion ,Emily had to be first he had to make himself keep her the focus of his agenda but he felt he knew it was gonna take all the power he had to do this. he snatched open the fridge and grabbed a beer before plopping into the chair in front of the tv he drank serval before heading off to bed his dreams were covered with images of Grace dancing thru out the night when he awoke he dressed in a hurry and dashed out for the office praying he was early enough that he wouldnt run into her as cordell was reaching for his assignment the door flung open and in a instant Grace came gliding thru it as if she hadnt a care in the world not even taking notice of cordell standing there glaring at her Grace stumbled into the bosses office and drapped herself in the seat asking what she needed to do for the day,she was handed an assignment the boss making it clear that she need to take charge and get to work immeditaly so she ripped the paper in half and stuck in her pocket ,out the door she went with no hesitation not looking to see her new partner might be as she reached the patrol car cordy stood beside the passenger side door with anger in his eyes omg Grace plurred out not you ,well im not happy about this either cordell shouted back to her its not my cup of tea to have to see you again. me, Grace was stung with his words why are you so mad at me ,cordell couldnt believe she would even ask him such a thing you left not explaining to me why or if you,d come back how was i to know you couldnt handle things what Grace asked she started to laugh at his gesture which made him grow angerier ,Grace could see hurt in him im sorry for not talking to you before i just took off but i didnt know how to deal with what was happening not just between us i had alot going on,so why didnt you come & tell me this did it make it better to shut me out to take the high road and just leave me in the dark? no it wasnt fair for me to leave without explaining to you why i had to im listening cordell said ,we cant do this now she told him we have work to do,oh i get it the old dodge the question routine, no it will just have to wait Grace said work has to come first sure cordell agreed as they both jumped into the patrol car this isnt uncormfortable at all Grace said cordell sneered at her without saying a word back the day grew long but they stayed silent after all they both were just not ready for real talk soon the day had come to end and they parted ways waiting for the right time to open the wounds she had left behind Grace didnt know exactly how much hurt she had caused. the next day she hoped things would look clearer but cordell wasnt going to make it easy for her he wanted answers he pulled her aside after arriving at work the next day ,we have to have to talk about it he said fine Grace followed him into

breakroom i need to know why you left he asked she looked at him her eyes were filled with tears i had to she told him but why ,why i dont understand he looked confused Grace nodded her head i know you dont ,Emily found out and she threatened you what,no way not possible cordell said she threatened me how ? she threatened to have your job she knew how much you meant to me still do actually ,stop it cordell pleaded i dont trust you anymore fine Grace told him ask her yourself she was afraid of the time we were spending togather she knew you had fallen for me too thats why she did it,she wanted to tear us apart and it looks like it worked your the one who walked away not me i would have never left you .i need to talk to Emily still dont believe me huH? cordell turned his back and walked out of the room,he stormed out of the building pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Emilys she picked up after just two rings hello ,Emily i need to see you now can you meet me at the square in an hour sure babe she told him what,s up nothing i just need to see you its important ok ill be there see ya soon bye she said,cordell got into his pickup truck and drove to the square where he waited for Emily to show up he sat in the middle of the square at a table directly facing the road so he could see her before she seen him ,the minutes went by quickly and before he knew it she was pulling into a parking spot he watched her as got out and started to walk over to his table he stood up as she approached him and he kissed the side of her check whats up anything wrong she asked him ,cordell shook his head you tell me he said why did you threaten Grace & me it was blackmail you know that right wait stop she nodded i can explain ,explain what how you took her away from me how this was all your fault?thats not what i meant Emily spoke i need to let you know why i did it i love you,no you just wanted what you couldnt have isnt that right you knew i loved her ,you knew how i felt about her and you didnt say a thing ,you probally knew she loved me as well is that why you did it ? i didnt mean to you didnt mean to what hurt me how did you think i was gonna react did you think i was gonna just fall into bed with you was that it ,Emily grabbed his hand i love you not her,cordell slowly removed her hand from his im sorry i dont feel the same yes you do i know you do she started to become violent and adutanted no i dont cordell tried to be calm with her as she was going off on him he decided it was time to just walk away as she tried holding on to him .you cant just walk away she cried as cordell fled,Grace was alone back at her moms old place and cordell knew he would find her there so he wasted no time after his meeting with Emily he knew now what had happened so he was headed to comfront her once again ,when he reached the porch of her house he started to feel those old feelings surface as he knocked on the door Grace peaked out to see who it was can i come in he asked sure she lead him inside i talked to Emily really Grace said howd that go i know what you told me was true i was just mad and hurt im sorry for the things i said to you apology accepted ,she told him he stood there learing at her what whats wrong she asked how could do that to me ,cordell i told you no i mean really how could you just walk away knowing how i felt about you i didnt want to cause trouble for you i wasnt sure if you felt the way i did ,so i just gave in to her demands it was easier than being rejected by you ,how can you say that you know id never reject you,he took a step foward and placed his hands around to cradle her face im in love with you how could you not see that he leaned down and softly kissed her pink lips she could feel her body clinging to his every word i want to be with you not Emily .Grace was so excited she threw her arms around him and squezed him so tight as if she never wanted to let go the tension was mounting the heat from his touch made her dizzy,maybe we should move this to your bedroom cordell implied catching her breath yes maybe we

should he scoped Grace up his his arms and carried her to the bedroom bringing the door shut with his foot he dropped her on the bed gently and drapped himself over the top of her and leaned in glancing her over before brushing a kiss against her lips ,standing to his feet he lifted Grace and slowly undressed her his hands once again found her mouth tracing the outline of her lips with his fingertips ,moving back on the bed cordell slide his hands down her body tracing her outline it made Grace tingle with every touch the two conitnued on to make sweet love and ended the night falling asleep moments later being at peace with one another embracing their newfound love .Grace dreamed that night the most beautiful dream ever .the way you treat me its the most beautiful thing i could ever imagine she had found what she was searching for cordell .

[parisiangiraffe]

Howd he harrass you? Ill kick his ass queen

Oh god so

This has happened through multiple cons (although I’m pretty sure he’s been banned, I haven’t seen him in years), but uh

At one con, he showed up to a panel that my friends were putting on (my friend and I were also participating, kinda) and he kept interrupting to talk shit about the show and the villains. At that time he kept harassing our Roman and how he died and shit— until we just asked him to leave

Then the dude got to me

He’d see me at that same con, would tell me that I was going to die a horrible death, Salem was going to get rid of me, that I was a terrible person and deserved to die, etc. He blamed me for killing Pyrrha even though there was a Pyrrha cosplayer with our group (which we pointed out) to which he just yelled NO SHES NOT SHES DEAD 🌝

Skip forward to another con

Dude is still after my ass

Finds me again

Starts the same shit about how I should die, pauses and asks “wait, are you a guy?” Like...???

It didn’t help that earlier I was worried about people thinking that since it was the first time I wore v4 cinder and I never really did cosplays with short hair before. I shut him the hell down

He goes on about how “oh, it was just the hair” while I tell him to just fuckin leave. He won’t. I turn my back to him. Dude Y E L L S “YOU CAN KICK MY IN THE NADS IF YOU WANT”. I do my damn best to ignore him until he leaves

My Emerald and Mercury only hear that part and are like 🌝

He finally just leaves and looking back, I really should have said something, but I had to calm the fuck down

A week or so later, there was a post going around about a LOT of experiences with the guy, some involving groping, so I’m pretty sure he’s banned now.

Anyway, to this day I’m nervous about Cosplaying Cinder (even though I still do so EVERY CON because she’s my fav) before I go out onto the con floor because of this. Please be nice to cosplayers. They’re not the character 🌝

[seblore]

everyday i wake up and you still havent posted your evermore rant </3

there u go boo 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

GDBDNSKDJHHDDNDS GIRL................ ok so i very cleverly avoided ranking folklore because every song REALLY HIT and the whole album was just SO.. SO.. yeah. i can however rank miss evermore. i dont want to compare the two album i do not get the point in that. both give off really different vibes. now what i will say is with folklore, AS AN ALBUM, it is just a master masterpiece. The songs flowed amazingly with each other and really held you close the entire first listen. at least thats what I felt like <3 with evermore however, the individual songs are OMG!!! THERE IS LITERALLY NO SONG I DONT LIKE FROM ANY OF THE TWO ALBUMS. but as an album on the first listen i did feel a bit disconnected from evermore which didnt happen to me with folklore. why i think that might’ve happened is BECAUSE taylor is just so brilliant m8.... the MASSIVE contrasting emotions between the songs was too much for my little brain to handle.

Ok so now that’s out of the way dhsjsk time for rankings :) i have no idea where im going to put each song im just going to make it up as we go <3 ill ALSO give you my fave lyrics from each if I remember it <333 (oh and also you’ll notice marjorie isnt here. im sorry but i never listened to it after the first listen because it hits a little too close to home and i dont want to unpack all of that now im sorry! it is a beautiful song)

14. Closure: she popped off <3 she really said dont treat me like a situation that needs to be handled 💃🤙💯 a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics HOWEVER its the first song i couldnt connect with thus it’s down here BUT I STILL WOULD LISTEN TO IT ON REPEAT THO... the last in my ranking but still fucks 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ thats taylor swift 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

13. long story short: i have never been in a relationship ever BUT GODDAMN ‘pushed from the precipice, clung to the nearest lips’ hdjsksksjjddjnBbdns jddd ubebs!:!?:?:$3&39383$hzjs WOAH.... and this bitch really summarized the full 2016 drama with long story short it was a bad time. HILARITY. yeah not much to say here tho this is just the ‘at least one mandatory song to shake your tits to on each ts album’ song of evermore <3 and always remember that if the shoe fits walk in it TILL YOUR HIGH HEELS BREAK WOOH ANDIFELLDOWNTHEPEDESTALRIGHTDOWNTHERA—

12: dorothea: making a lark of misery :D RENt free. i had to listen to ‘if youre tired of being known for who you know you know youll always know me’ 113 times to finally understand it tho 😐 some of us are stupid and illiterate have you ever thought about that miss swift???? anyways TINGTINGTINGINGINGING THE STARS IN YOUR EYES SHINED BRIGHTER IN TUPELO <33333 such an innocent feel good song I LOVE!!!!!

11. ivy: the goddamn here and the hush of mirrorball ARE THE REASON IM STILL ALIVE 😽 another lyrical masterclass <3 ‘id live and die for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time’ IS2G!!!!!!!!!!! anyways what if you cheated on your husband with me and i cheated on my husband with you and my pain fit in the palm of your freezing hands 😳 JK JK 😅 unless...... 🤪😏 hdjsks yeah this song is magnificently cursed and i am in love with it 🧎‍♀️

10. tis the damn season: this song is august but the other side of the coin. august but four months later. AUGUST SLIPPED AWAY LIKE A BOTTLE OF WINE- THE HOLIDAYS LINGER LIKE A BAD PERFUMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... she sounds so pretty goshhh! ‘time flies messy as the mud on your truck tires NOW IM MISSING YOUR SMILE hear me out we could just ride around and the road not taken looks real good now’ is on repeat in my mind. and as always the bridge ::::::::::::::.............:::::::::::::: how does she do this everytime. ‘and wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles im faking’ 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ after every ts song i listen my expectations about true love grows exponentially and my chances of finding true love falls exponentially simultaneously ADIEU.

9. willow: she really took the invisible string quartet and put it in huh..................... FUCKED IN THE HEADDDDDDDDDDDDDD. what can i say <3 its just such a pretty song <3 hashtag gorgeous hashtag i cant say anything to its face. WRECK MY PLANS!!!!!! WRECK IT BITCH!!! ‘wait for the signal and ill meet you after dark’ LOVE STORY WHIPLASH. also mate i cant even focus on the song she looks SO GOOD in the music video i—

8. happiness: !!!! what can i say.... one of the best songs of the album hands down. lyrical masterpiece AND musically rich. she really logged into tumblr dot com and typed out ‘THERE’LL BE HAPPINESS AFTER YOU’ AND ‘THERE WAS HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF YOU’ ARE IDEAS THAT CAN COEXIST and logged off...... h8 her and her insanity. the one word i have to describe this song is: picturesque. tis a picturesque song <3 oh and dfbhhffcbhDDVHHTRSDVJK when i heard ‘i hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you’ i audibly GASPED and then she says ‘no i didnt mean that sorry i cant see facts through all of my fury’................. i fell out of my chair. IT FELT LIKE AS IF SHE HEARD MY GASP AND TOLD ME SPECIFICALLY THAT NO SHE DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT... anyways yeah. ill write an article one day named THE SWIFT DECEPTION OF TAYLOR about how she keeps writing songs with deceptive titles and this will be the opening case 😈🤙 also the fact that this is one of my faves and i put it in number 8 says a lot......

7. evermore: i havent recovered from ‘motion capture. put me in a bad light’. i mean come on the whole goddamn song is a lyrical masterpiece. ‘writing letters addressed to the fire’. IS SHE OK!????????????? i think tf not. beautiful song beautiful arrangement. iver sounded really good too. and lol lol rofl WOOFWOOFbarkbark ‘HEY DECEMBER GUESS IM FEELING UNMOORED’ unmoored definition from google dot com: no longer attached. she doesn’t go back to december anymore. about2 faint oml. long story short: i did not survive. THIS PAIN WOULD BE FOR EVERMORE........ what i felt with this song is that she took the quarantine sadness we all felt at least once this year and made it into a masterpiece of a song. couldve been easily the top song on any album except this. no i will not elaborate <3

6. no body no crime: i cannot believe. she teased us with a musical number. this woman teased us with. a musical number. I THINK SHE IS WRITING A MUSICAL BUT I JUST CANT PROVE IT! when she wins that tony 16 years later call me prophetic xoxo. anyways yeah she literally wrote this to flex her storytelling abilities. send tweet 🐥

5. cowboy like me: YEEEHAWWW I’LL BE HONEST WITH YOU I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FULL SONG SOUNDS LIKE I JUST HAVE THE BRIDGE ON REPEAT!!!! OMFG!!! the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up. AAAA!! ??? STFU. IM NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE LYRICS MATE THE WAY ITS SUNG!!!!!!! GUT WRENCHING! the best bridge she has ever written musically. i cant stop listening to it. REALLYYY DID BELIEEEVE I WAS THE ONEEE. STORIESSS ABOUT WHEEEN YOU PASSSEDDD THROUGHH TOWN. y e l l. and then she hits me with ‘now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon.’ L ???? M !!!!! A $$$$$ O “”””” i had to pause it and sit there for 10 minutes to take in what i had just heard. case closed critical hit sustained yeedhawd.

4. tolerate it: i cried. the only reason it’s not 1 is because it hurt me too much. WHAT THE FUCK YOU MF YOU ASSUME IM FINE BUT WYD IF I BREAK FREE AND LEAVE US IN THE RUINS???? TOOK THIS DAGGER IN ME AND REMOV— m8 this physically hurts me everytime. if its all in my head TELL ME RN. aghhh aRghhhhhhh. pain. and lol she broke down sleep to its bare essentials ‘breathing with your eyes closed’.

3. ??? coney island: i know it’s a bit of a controversial top three but WHO CARES 🕴this is solely here for ‘AND IM SITTING ON A BENCH IN CONEY ISLAND wondering where did my BABYy GO’ im shaking. my bed is shaking. my body is shaking. my pupils are shaking. THE WAY SHE SINGS IT OH MY GOODNESS ME i have to lie down gimme a sec. ‘and if this is the long haul howd we get here so soon 😟’ SCREAM. and when i was hearing it for the first time and she said ‘sorry for not making you my centerfold’ i was like yeah and?? so what?? and then she hits me with ‘over and over’...... so she didnt make him/her/them her centerfold over and over !!!!!!! she is sorry she didnt do it over and over!!!!!! mannn.... the chorus.. i shall not speak. i am held at gunpoint i CANNOT SPEAK. the bridge tho dhdnsksksjsb I CAN SPEAK AND I SHALL SPEAK. BITCH WENT OFFFFFFFF. <3 this is the apology she deserved from her exes which she never got so she wrote it herself. podium. grey skies. birthday cake. ACCIDENT. im laughingggggggggggg <///3 and yeah so overall it is a really yummy song with yummy vocals and yummy arrangement 9/10 would recommend. also!! life lessons kids life lessons. disappointments? SIMPLY CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PRETEND YOU DO NOT SEE IT YAAAAAAAAAS

2. gold rush: ETHEREAL!!!!!! The last time i felt like this™️ whilst listening to a song was with mirrorball <3 the production of this song omg omg omg LOVE 💃 but what propelled it to number two status was the ‘i dont like slow motion double vision in ROSE BLUSH/ i dont like that falling feels like flying till the BONE CRUSH’ imagine how fucked in the head a person needs to be to rhyme rose blush with bone crush. yeah i have nothing more to say really this song is extremely gorgeous and ‘eyes like sinking ships on water so inviting i almost jumped in’ / ‘walk past quick brush’ ?:!:!&:8483 F A V E <33333 and the transition transmission transfusion from ‘... gray old tea cuz itll never be ᵍˡᵉᵃᵃᵃᵃᵐⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʷⁱⁿᵏˡⁱⁿᵍᵍᵍᵍ’ MADAME

1. champagne problems: are we surprised? ARE WE REALLY SURPRISED? when listening to new albums i normally listen to it at one go in order. i stick to that rule. HOWEVER after many years of my solid album listening self made rule tm i finally broke and immediately replayed this mf song after listening to it once. ‘you had a speech, youre speechless/ love slipped beyond your reaches’???? stfu???? VILE. PUNISHABLE. DEROGATORY. and welp the entire bridge ...... .... ........... what can i say. And the parallels to miss all too well??? WHAT WAS THE REASON???? your SISTER splashed out on the bottle- left my scarf there at your SISTER’s house 😐 she’ll patch up your tapestry that i SHRED- maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you TORE it all up 😐 your MOM’s ring in your pocket- your MOTHER’s telling stories bout you on the tee ball team 😐 November flush and your FLANNEL cure- PLAID shirt days and nights when you made me your own 😐 wHAT A SHAME SHE IS FUCKED IN THE HEAD IS2G........... and also why would she not rhyme POCKET with LOCKET?????? why with wallet???????????? slant rhyme why????????????? AND THE NOTE THIS MF SONG ENDS ON..... FUCKED IN THE HEAD

THATS IT. i really sat here and did this for the past 2 hours huh...... hhdjsms anyways LONG STORY SHORT: I HATE ONE INSANE WOMAN AND HER NAME IS TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT. GODSPEEED 🏃‍♀️

[mithranqueersmusings]

Before This Dance Is Through V

Chapter: 5/16

Rating: M (Smut Warning)

Summary: Ringo's being going through a dry spell for the last year or so and when he regretfully tells his best friend John, he insists on taking them to an all-male strip club for some "fun". Ringo isn't sure whether it's the alcohol, his desperation or a mixture of the two but he thinks he might be falling in love with a stripper.

Tags: AU - Strippers, Modern Setting, Smut, Slow Burn

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

Despite what John had suggested, Ringo didn't go back to The Helter Skelter the following week; he'd considered it when John sent him yet another late night text but ultimately decided it wasn't the best idea. Spike had been playing on his mind daily and Ringo wasn't sure he was prepared to face him again. Instead he focused on his drumming and searched for a few more students to teach, which were fairly easy to find. Usually Ringo enjoyed his time off, he understood he was lucky that he didn't have to work a 9-5 job just to get by, but recently he wanted his fill his time up as much as possible, to distract himself.

One of his new students seemed incredibly interested in him, they'd spent an hour just chatting in his living room before they'd even moved over to the drum kit. Ringo wasn't too fussed, he was getting paid by the hour so wasting time was beneficial to him but he didn't want to give the guy the wrong impression. He was a little bit older and attractive enough but Ringo simply wasn't interested.

"Why didn't you just go for it?" John had asked him when they next met up.

"I dunno..." Ringo mumbled, but a part of him knew very well.

He'd given the guy another lesson since then and it became clear that the guy's interest in him wasn't going away any time soon. Ringo felt bad about the whole thing, wasn't he just doing exactly what Spike was doing to him? He tried to act as professional as possible the second time around in attempt to get the guy to back off, considering he hadn't heard from him since he was hoping it had worked. What was wrong with him? Was he really going to make himself suffer like this all because of one guy? And not just any guy, a stripper who had shown absolutely no interest in him at all. It was ridiculous, he kept telling himself, but no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he had to get over Spike, he would still think about him every day without fail. Trying to distract himself with clients had been working somewhat, but it had been difficult, especially when his best friend was John Lennon.

       youre gonna love me

The text came through when Ringo was sat in a café getting some lunch. He'd finished with one of his younger students, a sweet girl who's parents had tried to convince her to try a more 'ladylike' instrument but she had promised only to give up the drums if she was awful; much to her delight, and Ringo's for being able to prove the stereotypical parents wrong, she was pretty good. Seeing her always put Ringo in a good mood, the parents mostly stayed away partly due to the noise but mostly due to disappointment, which meant they could joke around together. Ringo could tell she admired him and he welcomed it gladly, one of the best things about teaching was inspiring others, at least for him it was.

        do i not already?

        well yes         but youre gonna love me EVEN more

        what have you done

        well i happened to stop by the club last night

        oh god what did you do

        wow is that how little you trust me

        can you blame me

        suppose not         ANYWAY i got talking to paulie

        surprise surprise

        do you want the good news or not???

        fine fine sorry

        AS I WAS SAYING i was talking to paulie         and he told me that your special little someone has an onlyfans account

        first of all fuck you for calling him that         second of all wtf is onlyfans

        oh sorry i didnt realise you werent living in the 21st century

        ......         care to grace me with your knowledge?

        basically its a website where you can post exclusive stuff for ONLY FANS to see         its not a porn site or anything but its basically where people sell their nudes         MEANING spike has an account so you can totally see loads of raunchy filthy perverted pics of him

        but i have to pay?

        well weve all gotta make a living

        i can basically see him naked for free

        but this way you wont get all freaked out and embarrassed         well you will but nobody will know at least         so do you want the link or not???

Ringo paused for a few moments, he was gripping his phone tightly in both of his hands as he unblinkingly looked at John's words. If his mind was going to decide to make him suffer by enabling his intense interest in Spike, he may as well get something out of it.

        fine

        where are your manners richard??

        can i please have the link to the strippers nude photos please john please

        alright calm down         let me know if its worth while i might have a look

        idk if im even gonna look at it         paying for porn is a little dated

        treat yourself ringo         id offer to pay but im broke

        if youre broke why were you at the strip club last night?

        well SOMEONE had to go

        they really didnt

        im supporting my local economy

        i dont think thats how that works

        sure it is         anyway here you go

Ringo stared at the link for a while, his eyes even began to blur, he didn't want to risk opening it in public even though he knew there was little chance of anyone seeing. He finished his lunch in a hurry and headed home quickly, only when he was in the privacy of his bedroom did he dare open it. First he had to make an account, when he saw the screen loading up asking for an email address and password he just turned his screen off and put the phone down. This was far too much effort for something he shouldn't really have been doing in the first place. But it only took a few minutes for him to pick the phone back up and begin signing up, he used an old email as it felt less seedy that way and he didn't want to risk his name cropping up anywhere for Spike to see. Now he could load up the link properly and take a proper look at Spike's profile.

Just looking at the small profile picture was enough to startle Ringo a little, the dark eyes looking into the camera with that unreadable glimmer behind them. He was shirtless in the picture, Ringo wondered why that didn't catch his attention first, with the frame cutting off just before it showed anything too explicit. The header was a photo taken from the club, showing him in tight, leather pants and tassels on his nipples which matched the whip he held in his hand. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He'd spent so much time and effort trying not to think about this man, attempting to keep him out of his mind as much as possible. Ringo knew that if he went through with this all that progress would be lost, he'd be giving in to whatever strange obsession he'd developed for Spike, one that no doubt wasn't going to lead to anything good.

Ringo kept staring at the screen as though it was going to tell him what he should do. Spike's profile had no description, which wasn't very surprising, and it dashed any hope Ringo had of discovering something new about him. Right before he was about to put his phone down again, it vibrated.

        howd the wank go??

        john i dont care how long weve been friends asking how my wank was will always be weird

        youre right sorry         so how did it go???

        if you must know         i havent had a wank         i havent even paid for entry

        now whos the one being inappropriate??

        ha ha

        why havent you???

        feels weird

        oh i see         youll consume a bunch of unethical porn for free but god forbid you actually give sex workers any actual money

        you are the last person who can lecture me about unethical porn

        hey now watch yourself         ringo if you dont get a subscription I WILL

        go ahead

        and ill tell you every day what sexy sexy pictures hes posting         ill tell you EVERY SINGLE TIME i have a wank over them

        every time? i dont think youve got enough data for that

        im not joking

        neither am i         you wank A LOT

        ringooooo just buy it i swear to god         if its not worth it or you regret it or whatever ill give you the money back

        on top of the money you already owe me?

        have you always been such a capitalist

        youre not doing a very good job of convincing me

        fine         spikes cock         now are you convinced???

        maybe

        naked pictures of spike whenever and wherever you want them all for the low low price of 10 quid a month         convinced??

        fine fine         if itll shut you up

        im starting to think thats code for 'i really wanna do this but im too embarrassed to admit it'

        i hate you

        now that DEFINITELY code for 'john youre right'         anyway theres no time to be telling me how right i am all the time youve got dick pics to look at         even i wont stand in the way of a good wank         so dont bother replying to me until youve paid for that subscription young man

        im older than you

        DONT BOTHER REPLYING

Ringo let out a sigh and rested his head against the bedroom wall from where he was laying on the bed. He opened up the link again and his thumb hovered over the subscription button, why couldn't he just do it? The money wasn't an issue, it could've cost half as much or be double the price and he'd still be debating it all the same. Somehow it felt like an invasion of privacy, after all Spike hadn't told Ringo about it himself, but then again that didn't necessarily mean he didn't want Ringo to see it. After all it was like John said: everyone has to make a living somehow. Sometimes Ringo wished he could turn off that part of his brain that was so empathetic, so concerned about how everyone felt and what they were thinking. He knew that he wanted this, so why wasn't he allowing himself to have it? Ringo could see that he was being ridiculous, as he was with almost anything involving Spike, and after lying there for a while pondering and debating he decided to flip a coin. Heads would mean he got the subscription, tails that he didn't. He watched the coin spinning through the air after he flicked it upwards, then snatched it and slammed it down onto his forearm before slowly moving his hand away: it was tails. What a relief. Ringo chuckled to himself for being so foolish, settling down into his bed; it was still only around midday but he didn't have anywhere he needed to be.

So why didn't he feel relieved in the slightest?

This whole thing was getting tiring, the constant debate between what he believed he should do and what he wanted to do, and it seemed like it wasn't going to be ending anytime soon. Apparently he was in this for the long run, whatever that meant, but if he was going to turn down relatively attractive guys practically throwing themselves at him, he may as well go all the way. While he was putting in his credit card information, he stopped to think around three of four times, but once he'd finished and the images became accessible to him, his brain was barely able to conjure up a coherent sentence.

"Jesus..." Ringo breathed out as his eyes flicked across the plethora of pictures loading up on his screen.

There was a lot of them, and a lot of Spike was on display. Most of them were pictures taken at the club, either from a professional photographer in the audience or photos he'd taken himself in the mirrors backstage - Ringo could even see glimpses of Paul in the background of some of them. The ones that caught Ringo's eyes the most were those that seemed to be taken in his house, these also happened to be the ones in which Spike tended to be fully naked. It was very different experience to see him like this: a static image that he'd intentionally taken of himself and posted for so many people to see, an image that couldn't look back at Ringo and make him feel that strange mixture of excitement and shame. He began scrolling down the feed which only revealed more and more enticing photos. Ringo began to feel himself hardening, he suspected it had been happening for a while now but he'd been far too distracted to notice. He felt like a teenager discovering porn for the first time, it was difficult to remind himself that this wasn't anything new. Seeing Spike naked shouldn't have excited him so much, and yet it did.

One picture in particular drew Ringo's attention: Spike was stood in front of a bathroom mirror with a loose black tie lying against his bare chest, one hand was holding a phone and the other gripping his cock. He had dark eye make up on and his hair was messy. Ringo wasn't sure exactly what it was about this photo that was so enticing but he couldn't take his eyes off it. The prominence of his collarbones, the faint curls of his dark hair, how his slim fingers wrapped around himself. Slowly Ringo slid his own hand under the waistband of his boxers as he stared at the picture. At first he hesitated, his fingers stopped right above the base. It's not like this would've been the first time he'd touched himself while thinking about Spike, it would've been far from the last he imagined, but this was different. It was more concrete, more of an admission. Nothing felt quite as real when it's only being imagined, the haziness of lust fuzzing up the mind as it so often did, but now with a very real photo of Spike in front of him - which he'd paid to see - the feeling was far more tangible, far harder to ignore.

He'd come this far, he told himself as his hand sunk lower until his fingers were running along the length of his semi-hard cock, he may as well go all the way. To begin with Ringo stayed looking at this single picture as he slowly pumped himself, but as his lust began to grow he perused through more and more pictures: Spike kneeling naked in front of a mirror with a loose cigarette hanging from his lips, lying in the bath with bubbles only just about covering his nakedness, spread out on the bed with a gag in his mouth, handcuffs forcing his slim arms behind his back with his cock throbbing. None of this was anything Ringo hadn't seen before, like most people in this day and age he'd searched through the darker corners of the internet - sometimes willingly, sometimes John was to blame - but to see Spike in such a way was like an entirely new rush. Each picture drove Ringo further and further on, at times he almost dropped his phone with how sloppy his movements were becoming. Who took these photos? Ringo figured it was best not to think about it, the possibility that Spike had a boyfriend who took all these pictures of him would've been the quickest way to kill his erection.

Ringo began moaning and cursing wantonly as he got closer and closer to his orgasm, he had to stop flicking through the pictures because he could hardly concentrate on what his other hand was doing, so he settled on a final one to help him finish; it wasn't particularly strategic but he was definitely grateful that he selected the one that he did. In it Spike was looking directly into the camera, allowing Ringo to gaze longingly into the rich brown of his eyes and how his dark lashes curled beautifully around them. He was shirtless with nothing but a necklace on, the same necklace that Ringo had seen him wearing in the record store and Ringo couldn't help feeling a sense of satisfaction that he'd seen it with his own eyes, as though it meant something. Deep down he knew that it didn't but his inebriated mind was latching onto it. The nudity in the photo was hardly interesting Ringo by this point, although it would be wrong to say that he completely ignored the flatness of his stomach or the faint shadows of his ribs beneath his pale skin, it was the personal aspect which truly affected him.

This wasn't just lust. Lust Ringo could understand, he could compartmentalise it and give into it without much shame or a second thought. If this was just lust, he would've bought the subscription without a care and touched himself looking at the nakedness of Spike's body as though it meant nothing more than a way to get off. Yet here he was on the brink of orgasm looking into another man's eyes, eyes that felt like they were looking straight back at him as though they were sharing this moment together. It wasn't hard to imagine Spike's hand in place of his own, those deep eyes watching Ringo come undone piece by piece. Ringo's hip began to stutter, his leg twitching a little as he had to drop the phone down onto his lap as his head fell back against his pillow as his orgasm approached. It wasn't the image of Spike's naked body that filled Ringo's mind as he came, it wasn't his arse or his cock or even his chest, it was his face, his voice, it was him.

Ringo lay breathless on his bed for a while, the clarity that arrived as his orgasm subsided wasn't welcome in the slightest and he was reluctant to pick his phone back up to see Spike's eyes looking at him once again. There was no use in feeling ashamed about it, no point in trying to deny it any longer: his feelings for Spike were more than a mere passing fancy, that was clear. Exactly what he was meant to do about these feelings was far from clear but that wasn't something Ringo could figure out right now with cum on his stomach and the daylight seeping through his bedroom curtains.

When he'd picked up his phone he'd closed all the apps immediately, doing his best not to catch a glimpse of what he'd been so eagerly looking at before. Just as he was about to step into the shower to clean himself off, his phone buzzed; he almost couldn't hear it over the music he was blasting out. It alerted him for a moment as though it was going to be a message from Spike stating he knew exactly what Ringo had just done - it wouldn't have really surprised him had that been the case, Spike's face almost always looked like he knew something that nobody else did - but fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, it was John.

        sooo how did the wank go

         who knows          but on a totally unrelated note im about to get into the shower

         well before you do that i have even more good news 

         can it not wait?

         NO because you might cum just at the thought of it and then youd be wasting a good shower

         well arent you considerate          and unnecessarily graphic

         thats me          anyway im taking you to the club next tuesday whether you like it or not

         im still waiting for the good news

         well if youd let me FINISH          next week theyre doing a special event and we just have to go          youll never guess what it is

         what is it?

         guess

         you just said ill never guess

         youre no fun

         WHAT IS IT

         alright alright keep your hair on          its a crossdressing event          high heels make up probably a few wigs all that good stuff

         im still waiting for the good news

         OH COME ON youre telling me you dont want to see spike in heels and fishnets with some lovely lipstick on

Ringo gulped. It wasn't a difficult image to conjure up his mind, considering he'd been staring at photos of Spike for the past twenty minutes and it excited him to say the least. He did want to see that, very much indeed.

[ninzied]

another kind of goodbye

for @carry-the-sky. happy birthday, my friend! have a little post-cancellation kastle fic.

It’s three months, give or take, when Frank lets himself think about her again. Really think about her. Not in the passing kind of way, where he’s walking down some street and sees a bouquet of gardenias, like the kind he’d almost gotten her instead of the roses that day. Or when he’s sipping on coffee, and Karen’s face flashes like a mirage at him across the cheap Formica table – blonde hair almost white under the shit diner lighting, but those eyes still so blue as she told him he would never lie to her.

So – okay, so he thinks about her. He thinks about her.

(He wonders if she—)

Frank eventually makes his way back to the city again, after. Another day, another job. Madani thinks he’s meant for something greater than this – than picking off these scum-of-the-earth kinds of assholes that litter the streets of a place like New York.

He can’t believe that he was meant for greater, but. Sometimes, he does wonder. If a part of him – whatever part of him that’s not still buried deep down in the ground with his family – was meant to come back here. To walk these streets and feel the pull of her, always, even when that’s all he can afford to feel.

He tells himself that has to be enough.

He’s been laying low, since his return. Coughed up some cash for a three-hundred-square-footer in Brooklyn, but he crosses the bridge to the city most days, maybe even finds his way to Hell’s Kitchen from time to time too. It’s risky, he knows. If Murdock catches wind of him, they’d be lucky to walk away from each other in one piece. And Karen…

There’d be a different kind of hell to pay, if Karen ever found out.

His phone gives a single buzz in his pocket as he’s hunkering his way down 47th, and he stops in his tracks, nearly colliding with an elderly woman in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Excuse me!” she says in a shrill voice, bag clutched tight to her chest.

“Apologies, ma’am,” he nods as she makes a show of putting as much distance between them as possible, and then he fishes his phone out, hesitating for one absurd moment before glancing down at the screen.

Back in town yet, Castle?

He barks out a laugh. Chrissakes, Madani.

His phone buzzes again.

I have a job for you, if you’re still interested.

“Still,” mutters Frank, with a scoffing shake of his head. He thinks he admires her perseverance, but Madani’s gotta know she’s only wasting her breath.

He cuts south down 10th, toward Lincoln Tunnel. It’s a brisk day, and the wind on his face feels sharper than usual, considering he hasn’t bled much there in a while. He jams his hands deeper into his pockets, ignoring the insistent drone of Madani’s follow-up call.

He’s got a date with a park bench on the wrong side of town, and if he closes his eyes, he can pretend it’s the same bridge overlooking the water, and when he opens them again Karen’ll be there, waiting for him.

…

His closest call comes with, of all people, the lawyer. Not Red – the other one. Franklin Nelson.

Frank’s emerging with coffee two storefronts down just as another door opens, and he’s cursing himself for not seeing the signs when out tumbles Nelson with his back turned, adjusting his tie against the wind.

“Foggy bear, wait!” someone else is laughing, and a blonde lady steps out to chase after him, slinging a purse over her shoulder and reaching with her other hand to link around his elbow.

“I told him this was gonna make me late for work,” grumbles Nelson, but without any heat to the words. “Dad’s surprise party isn’t until tomorrow, don’t know why this couldn’t have waited – oh, crap, I forgot I told Karen I’d pick up some coffee—”

Nelson’s about-facing sharply, girlfriend following closely behind. He doesn’t appear to notice Frank crouched down in a corner by the 7-Eleven, hood obscuring half his face as he trains his eyes on the ground by their feet. The girl unearths some coins from her bag as they pass, clinking them onto the lid of Frank’s coffee cup without seeming to hear his low mutter of thanks.

He’s leapt up the moment he hears the door latch shut, brushing the coins into his palm as he goes.

He leaves them with a guy camped out by the train stop, a dog lifting her head from their blankets to blink sleepy eyes up at Frank, and he walks away harder, takes the steps two at a time and wishes – God he wishes—

…

Another text from Madani.

He shuts his phone off. Goes back to retrieve it ten seconds later from the trash can that he’d dumped it in, wiping it down and scowling as her message pops up on the screen.

Castle – offer still stands, FYI.

“You should call her back,” advises a man huddled down by the newsstands next to him. His face is like leather, worn down and weathered with age, with living. “Apologize for whatever it is that you did, so you don’t end up out here like me.”

“Already there,” Frank tells him, turning the phone over and over in his hand. Madani’s message lights up again each time, flashing and flashing until he sees it like a burn through his retinas even when the phone’s no longer facing him.

“Damn. That’s a damn shame.” The guy shifts, scratching at a spot on his back. “Maybe shouldn’t’ve stayed away from her for so long.”

Frank shakes his head, uttering a short, incredulous laugh. “Well, maybe I got my reasons, yeah? You think about that?”

“Doesn’t matter what I think,” shrugs the guy. “Does she think they’re any good? These reasons of yours?”

Frank turns away, jaw working furiously.

“Yeah.” The guy shouldn’t have any right to sound as smug as he does, and yet. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

…

He’s got no place in coming here. He knows it. He knows it, but he thinks it was always meant to be this way, him circling back around to her, even after everything that he’s done to push her away. Maybe a part of him had never left. And the rest is just – there, hovering right at the edge of some sharp realization, that he could try to be whole again if he simply took that first step. And a part of Karen must at least sense that. It’s why she’d never really given up on him, before.

It doesn’t change how I feel about you.

Frank wonders if she’d forgive him this time. If he’d even want her to.

It wouldn’t be anything close to what he deserves, that’s for goddamn sure.

He gazes up at her fire escape, counts the number of steps it would take just to be able to reach that bottom rung from his vantage point across the street. Her shades are drawn, the lines of them blurred out in the dim orange light. On one corner of the windowsill, wedged up against the glass, there’s a small stack of books. On the other, a vase. From this angle, the shadows folded into the fabric of her curtains look almost like flower stems.

Frank squints, and the stems disappear.

…

There’s about a week in between, where he feels himself inching closer to something, each time he drops by her block. He never goes farther than the patch of sidewalk across from her building, but it’s getting harder not to just careen over the ledge.

More than anything, he wishes he knew, in those moments obscured in half-darkness, whether he’s come to look for that after she’d spoke of, or if he’s come to say goodbye.

Then, one day he spots flowers in her window, for the first time since—

(They’re pale white against the cream of her curtains, their stems dark slivers of green, and he imagines them pricking the pad of his thumb, drawing up a spot of blood.)

Frank takes a deep breath.

…

She doesn’t look surprised to see him when she opens the door, swinging it back two-thirds of the way before stopping. Her lips are pressed tightly together, like there’s too much to say, or maybe there’s things that she can’t, either way he can’t read her and he thinks she’s never terrified him more.

Frank drops his gaze, mouth moving soundlessly until the words grind their way out. “How’d you know I was here, Karen?”

He’s not sure what kind of answer he’s expecting. That Nelson had grown a real pair of eyes, or that Red had managed to ferret him out of his lurking somehow. Or maybe Karen really just hadn’t known at all, and those flowers were never for him.

What Karen says instead is, “Dinah and I grab a beer together, sometimes.”

“That right?” he asks, trying to lay out an image of this in his mind. It sits strangely there, stumping him for a moment, and some of his bewilderment must show on his face because Karen’s mouth almost turns up in a smile before flattening again.

She leans away from the doorjamb, waving her hand in a worn-looking gesture before letting it drop to her side. “Besides, you…haven’t exactly been subtle, in your haunting of Hell’s Kitchen.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that, other than a gruff, “’S’what dead men do, Karen,” as she folds her arms and sighs at him.

“You sure you’re not just losing your touch, Frank?” She steps into the doorway, whether to move closer to him or to block him out of her apartment, he can’t tell. “Or was it because you wanted me to know but couldn’t tell me to my face?”

His eyes snap up to hers, twitching slightly under the sharp weight of her gaze. He shakes his head, wishing he could just ask her, What do you want from me, Karen? but they’re long past that now, and if he can’t find his own way to answer her, then.

God, he really doesn’t deserve this woman.

“I think I—” He shifts his body and tries again. “I think I needed to figure some things out. Karen. I was waiting 'til I felt like I was ready, and I don’t think I’ll ever be that.” But I’m here, he wants to say, but I’m here.

“Yeah.” Karen’s nodding, hair falling into her face, and she brushes it back, resting her chin in her palm for a moment. “I know that, Frank.” All of the fight in her seems to have ebbed slowly back, and he resists the urge to reach out and shake the storm back into motion, to make her understand she doesn’t get to let him off the hook so easy.

The look she gives him now is softer, but he knows. Fight’s not done. May never be done. And he knows this because he knows he’ll never stop fighting for her.

She’s stepped back into the door, letting it swing open further. She doesn’t invite him in, but she’s quirked an eyebrow up at him, biting her lip with another deep sigh and a shake of her head.

“You, uh.” Frank glances back and forth at their surroundings, doesn’t quite meet her eye. Tries to lighten his tone through the gruffness as he asks her, “So, you wanted to see me?”

Her voice is soft, forbearing, with a hint of gentle knowing behind it. “You didn’t?”

She’s holding back the clear start of a smile from him this time, and Frank. Christ. It’s taking everything in him not to step toward her, to—

Karen tilts her chin at him, the motion loosening another wave of blonde hair, and he can’t remember anymore why he was trying so hard to stand back from all this. He’s moving, swaying forward until she’s just an arm’s length away, and there’s something almost teasing about the way she relaxes her shoulder into the door as she watches him.

“You back to kill some people, Frank?”

He feels a corner of his mouth turn up. This girl. He licks his lips, lets out a quiet sort of laugh. “That was the plan, yeah.”

Karen gazes up at him, unblinking. “Have you?”

“I was—” Frank has to look away for a moment, finally turning back when he can. His eyes are steady, boring into hers, voice low and full with meaning. “I was. Working on it.”

Karen nods. Doesn’t speak for long seconds, and he measures them out in heartbeats, chest tightening hard enough it feels like it might break when she asks him, very carefully, “Still?”

Frank steps closer, close enough to feel the way her breath shakes with a small sigh, how her body moves away from the door to meet him.

His hand is inches from hers, but he doesn’t reach for her. Not yet.

She waits, gaze searching. He gives the barest shake of his head, and a single word, gravel-filled, a promise. “No.”

Something cracks open in her expression, and it means everything to him, her head ducking away as though she can’t have him looking too closely at the way she's biting back that smile of hers, and he thinks – he thinks he wants to make her do it again, and again, for as long as she will have him.

“Would you like to come in, Frank?”

He takes her hand in his this time, feeling the pull of her as he steps across the threshold, door shutting firmly behind them, and it feels like coming home.

[smallnico]

so erol gets a "surprising amount of ass" ... has he been w anyone in the theatre group? howd tht go

(real quick correction/clarification, erol uses mostly they/them pronouns, though they will also accept he/him and she/her, something i forgot to mention in the cast lineup post. they’re genderfluid)

also yes, he has. i mentioned in the big trivia post that erol’s hooked up with 3 of the other named characters, and i guess now that i’ve been asked about it i should probably say who? :p anyway, it’s mandy, dom, and logan. i don’t get explicit in this response bc this isn’t that kind of blog, but still a heads-up for discussing my ocs’ sex lives.

usually erol prefers men, but that’s why mandy didn’t work out particularly well – the two of them used to be much better friends than they are now, and the one time they hooked up was fuelled by Bad Decisions Juice with a side order of Post-High School Confusion, so needless to say they both regard it as a mistake, but if they’ve talked about it in the intervening years, and i’m not sure they have, it didn’t make either of them feel better. mandy’s always been self-conscious, in the sort of way that she wants to be wanted and to be valued for Her and not for the service she can provide for other people, or as a placeholder. she’s also got complicated feelings about her body and sexuality, but hey, who doesn’t? she feels haunted by the fact that her first time was with her best friend, who wasn’t actually interested in her, who was only really looking for a salve in a genuinely trying time in his life. and since erol has a tendency to be frank and honest, the only way he wouldn’t have admitted this to her would be if the two of them had never talked about it at all. he has For Sure claimed fault and apologized for this whole mess, because mandy’s feelings are important to him, but she’s not wrong to still feel badly about it for her own reasons. the two of them don’t talk much anymore.

erol’s also hooked up with dom, and more than once. neither of them are the type to settle into a relationship, and they’re both content being “nothing special” to the odd suitor looking to have some fun without attachments. they did orlando opposite each other with erol as orlando and dom as queen elizabeth, decided they were both Kind Of Into It, and have been each other’s regular booty call ever since. dom believes that only people with bad taste would be interested in dating him because he’s Very aware that he’s only barely a functional adult between the trauma and depression and alcoholism, but he won’t object to men and male-ish folks like erol finding him attractive in the short term. erol is only really interested in short-term enjoyment to begin with, on account of being stiflingly aware of his own mortality, so it’s the closest thing to a stable relationship either of them is comfortable having (at least for now). neither of them cares if the other sleeps with other people.

logan is erol’s most recent misadventure, and events haven’t decided how that’s gone yet. it happened, it was fun, but what does it all mean? hopefully this second serving of Bad Decisions Juice and Post-High School Confusion has a better ending than the last one did. logan’s a well-meaning but oblivious dumbass, and thought it’d be a good idea to start off his first round of bi-curious experimentation by making out with his genderfluid friend who, at the time, was female-presenting, even though it’s not what he wanted to do (or who, which is a whole other story), in order to test out the bounds of his own sexuality and inevitably come to the wrong conclusion. there was no pretense or anything involved, just good ol’ straight up agreed-upon scientific hanky-panky. this time, erol’s in mandy’s position. at the very least, as established, erol is more comfortable with being “just whoever’s available” than mandy is, and he’s not particularly concerned about being used, so it’s already off to a better start, but like i said, the situation is so far unresolved.

but most of the time erol’s sex life occurs with unimportant npcs. he may look like a gay little hipster dweeb, but he’s confident, eloquent, and completely shameless. he’s versatile – he’ll quote poetry at you, and won’t if that kind of stuff makes you sick. he will not hesitate to tell you directly to your face if he finds you attractive, and he won’t make it weird after, because it went really badly that one time, and life’s too short to spend too much of it on angst. 

[littlebigplanet]

the odessey but owo

Teww me, O muse, of that ingenyious hewo who twavewwed faw and wide aftew he had sacked the famous town of Twoy. Many cities did he visit, and many wewe the nyations with whose mannyews and customs he was acquainted; moweuvw he suffewed much by sea whiwe twying to save his own wife and bwing his men safewy home; but do what he might he couwd nyot save his men, fow they pewished thwough theiw own sheew fowwy in eating the cattwe of the Sun-god Hypewion; so the god pwevented them fwom evew weaching home. Teww me, too, about aww these things, O daughtew of Juv, fwom whatsoevew souwce you may knyow them.

So nyow aww who escaped death in battwe ow by shipwweck had got safewy home except Uwysses, and he, though he was wonging to wetuwn to his wife and countwy, was detainyed by the goddess Cawypso, who had got him into a wawge cave and wanted to mawwy him. But as yeaws went by, thewe came a time when the gods settwed that he shouwd go back to Ithaca; even then, howevew, when he was among his own peopwe, his twoubwes wewe nyot yet uvw; nyevewthewess aww the gods had nyow begun to pity him except Nyeptunye, who stiww pewsecuted him without ceasing and wouwd nyot wet him get home.

Nyow Nyeptunye had gonye off to the Ethiopians, who awe at the wowwd's end, and wie in two hawves, the onye wooking West and the othew East. He had gonye thewe to accept a hecatomb of sheep and oxen, and was enjoying himsewf at his festivaw; but the othew gods met in the house of Owympian Juv, and the siwe of gods and men spoke fiwst. At that moment he was thinking of Aegisthus, who had been kiwwed by Agamemnyon's son Owestes; so he said to the othew gods:

"See nyow, how men way bwame upon us gods fow what is aftew aww nyothing but theiw own fowwy. Wook at Aegisthus; he must nyeeds make wuv to Agamemnyon's wife unwighteouswy and then kiww Agamemnyon, though he knyew it wouwd be the death of him; fow I sent Mewcuwy to wawn him nyot to do eithew of these things, inyasmuch as Owestes wouwd be suwe to take his wevenge when he gwew up and wanted to wetuwn home. Mewcuwy towd him this in aww good wiww but he wouwd nyot wisten, and nyow he has paid fow evewything in fuww."

Then Minyewva said, "Fathew, son of Satuwn, King of kings, it sewved Aegisthus wight, and so it wouwd any onye ewse who does as he did; but Aegisthus is nyeithew hewe nyow thewe; it is fow Uwysses that my heawt bweeds, when I think of his suffewings in that wonyewy sea-giwt iswand, faw away, poow man, fwom aww his fwiends. It is an iswand cuvwed with fowest, in the vewy middwe of the sea, and a goddess wives thewe, daughtew of the magician Atwas, who wooks aftew the bottom of the ocean, and cawwies the gweat cowumns that keep heaven and eawth asundew. This daughtew of Atwas has got howd of poow unhappy Uwysses, and keeps twying by evewy kind of bwandishment to make him fowget his home, so that he is tiwed of wife, and thinks of nyothing but how he may once mowe see the smoke of his own chimnyeys. You, siw, take nyo heed of this, and yet when Uwysses was befowe Twoy did he nyot pwopitiate you with many a buwnt sacwifice? Why then shouwd you keep on being so angwy with him?"

And Juv said, "My chiwd, what awe you tawking about? How can I fowget Uwysses than whom thewe is nyo mowe capabwe man on eawth, nyow mowe wibewaw in his offewings to the immowtaw gods that wive in heaven? Beaw in mind, howevew, that Nyeptunye is stiww fuwious with Uwysses fow having bwinded an eye of Powyphemus king of the Cycwopes. Powyphemus is son to Nyeptunye by the nymph Thoosa, daughtew to the sea-king Phowcys; thewefowe though he wiww nyot kiww Uwysses outwight, he towments him by pweventing him fwom getting home. Stiww, wet us way ouw heads togethew and see how we can hewp him to wetuwn; Nyeptunye wiww then be pacified, fow if we awe aww of a mind he can hawdwy stand out against us."

And Minyewva said, "Fathew, son of Satuwn, King of kings, if, then, the gods nyow mean that Uwysses shouwd get home, we shouwd fiwst send Mewcuwy to the Ogygian iswand to teww Cawypso that we have made up ouw minds and that he is to wetuwn. In the meantime I wiww go to Ithaca, to put heawt into Uwysses' son Tewemachus; I wiww embowden him to caww the Achaeans in assembwy, and speak out to the suitows of his mothew Penyewope, who pewsist in eating up any nyumbew of his sheep and oxen; I wiww awso conduct him to Spawta and to Pywos, to see if he can heaw anything about the wetuwn of his deaw fathew- fow this wiww make peopwe speak weww of him."

So saying she bound on hew gwittewing gowden sandaws, impewishabwe, with which she can fwy wike the wind uvw wand ow sea; she gwasped the wedoubtabwe bwonze-shod speaw, so stout and stuwdy and stwong, whewewith she quewws the wanks of hewoes who have dispweased hew, and down she dawted fwom the topmost summits of Owympus, wheweon fowthwith she was in Ithaca, at the gateway of Uwysses' house, disguised as a visitow, Mentes, chief of the Taphians, and she hewd a bwonze speaw in hew hand. Thewe she found the wowdwy suitows seated on hides of the oxen which they had kiwwed and eaten, and pwaying dwaughts in fwont of the house. Men-sewvants and pages wewe bustwing about to wait upon them, some mixing winye with watew in the mixing-bowws, some cweanying down the tabwes with wet sponges and waying them out again, and some cutting up gweat quantities of meat.

Tewemachus saw hew wong befowe any onye ewse did. He was sitting moodiwy among the suitows thinking about his bwave fathew, and how he wouwd send them fwying out of the house, if he wewe to come to his own again and be honyouwed as in days gonye by. Thus bwooding as he sat among them, he caught sight of Minyewva and went stwaight to the gate, fow he was vexed that a stwangew shouwd be kept waiting fow admittance. He took hew wight hand in his own, and bade hew give him hew speaw. "Wewcome," said he, "to ouw house, and when you have pawtaken of food you shaww teww us what you have come fow."

He wed the way as he spoke, and Minyewva fowwowed him. When they wewe within he took hew speaw and set it in the speaw- stand against a stwong beawing-post awong with the many othew speaws of his unhappy fathew, and he conducted hew to a wichwy decowated seat undew which he thwew a cwoth of damask. Thewe was a footstoow awso fow hew feet, and he set anyothew seat nyeaw hew fow himsewf, away fwom the suitows, that she might nyot be annyoyed whiwe eating by theiw nyoise and insowence, and that he might ask hew mowe fweewy about his fathew.

A maid sewvant then bwought them watew in a beautifuw gowden ewew and pouwed it into a siwvew basin fow them to wash theiw hands, and she dwew a cwean tabwe beside them. An uppew sewvant bwought them bwead, and offewed them many good things of what thewe was in the house, the cawvew fetched them pwates of aww mannyew of meats and set cups of gowd by theiw side, and a man-sewvant bwought them winye and pouwed it out fow them.

Then the suitows came in and took theiw pwaces on the benches and seats. Fowthwith men sewvants pouwed watew uvw theiw hands, maids went wound with the bwead-baskets, pages fiwwed the mixing-bowws with winye and watew, and they waid theiw hands upon the good things that wewe befowe them. As soon as they had had enyough to eat and dwink they wanted music and dancing, which awe the cwownying embewwishments of a banquet, so a sewvant bwought a wywe to Phemius, whom they compewwed pewfowce to sing to them. As soon as he touched his wywe and began to sing Tewemachus spoke wow to Minyewva, with his head cwose to hews that nyo man might heaw.

"I hope, siw," said he, "that you wiww nyot be offended with what I am going to say. Singing comes cheap to those who do nyot pay fow it, and aww this is donye at the cost of onye whose bonyes wie wotting in some wiwdewnyess ow gwinding to powdew in the suwf. If these men wewe to see my fathew come back to Ithaca they wouwd pway fow wongew wegs wathew than a wongew puwse, fow monyey wouwd nyot sewve them; but he, awas, has fawwen on an iww fate, and even when peopwe do sometimes say that he is coming, we nyo wongew heed them; we shaww nyevew see him again. And nyow, siw, teww me and teww me twue, who you awe and whewe you come fwom. Teww me of youw town and pawents, what mannyew of ship you came in, how youw cwew bwought you to Ithaca, and of what nyation they decwawed themsewves to be- fow you cannyot have come by wand. Teww me awso twuwy, fow I want to knyow, awe you a stwangew to this house, ow have you been hewe in my fathew's time? In the owd days we had many visitows fow my fathew went about much himsewf."

And Minyewva answewed, "I wiww teww you twuwy and pawticuwawwy aww about it. I am Mentes, son of Anchiawus, and I am King of the Taphians. I have come hewe with my ship and cwew, on a voyage to men of a foweign tongue being bound fow Temesa with a cawgo of iwon, and I shaww bwing back coppew. As fow my ship, it wies uvw yondew off the open countwy away fwom the town, in the hawbouw Wheithwon undew the wooded mountain Nyewitum. Ouw fathews wewe fwiends befowe us, as owd Waewtes wiww teww you, if you wiww go and ask him. They say, howevew, that he nyevew comes to town nyow, and wives by himsewf in the countwy, fawing hawdwy, with an owd woman to wook aftew him and get his dinnyew fow him, when he comes in tiwed fwom pottewing about his vinyeyawd. They towd me youw fathew was at home again, and that was why I came, but it seems the gods awe stiww keeping him back, fow he is nyot dead yet nyot on the mainwand. It is mowe wikewy he is on some sea-giwt iswand in mid ocean, ow a pwisonyew among savages who awe detainying him against his wiww I am nyo pwophet, and knyow vewy wittwe about omens, but I speak as it is bownye in upon me fwom heaven, and assuwe you that he wiww nyot be away much wongew; fow he is a man of such wesouwce that even though he wewe in chains of iwon he wouwd find some means of getting home again. But teww me, and teww me twue, can Uwysses weawwy have such a finye wooking fewwow fow a son? You awe indeed wondewfuwwy wike him about the head and eyes, fow we wewe cwose fwiends befowe he set saiw fow Twoy whewe the fwowew of aww the Awgives went awso. Since that time we have nyevew eithew of us seen the othew."

"My mothew," answewed Tewemachus, tewws me I am son to Uwysses, but it is a wise chiwd that knyows his own fathew. Wouwd that I wewe son to onye who had gwown owd upon his own estates, fow, since you ask me, thewe is nyo mowe iww-stawwed man undew heaven than he who they teww me is my fathew."

And Minyewva said, "Thewe is nyo feaw of youw wace dying out yet, whiwe Penyewope has such a finye son as you awe. But teww me, and teww me twue, what is the meanying of aww this feasting, and who awe these peopwe? What is it aww about? Have you some banquet, ow is thewe a wedding in the famiwy- fow nyo onye seems to be bwinging any pwovisions of his own? And the guests- how atwociouswy they awe behaving; what wiot they make uvw the whowe house; it is enyough to disgust any wespectabwe pewson who comes nyeaw them."

"Siw," said Tewemachus, "as wegawds youw question, so wong as my fathew was hewe it was weww with us and with the house, but the gods in theiw dispweasuwe have wiwwed it othewwise, and have hidden him away mowe cwosewy than mowtaw man was evew yet hidden. I couwd have bownye it bettew even though he wewe dead, if he had fawwen with his men befowe Twoy, ow had died with fwiends awound him when the days of his fighting wewe donye; fow then the Achaeans wouwd have buiwt a mound uvw his ashes, and I shouwd mysewf have been heiw to his wenyown; but nyow the stowm-winds have spiwited him away we knyow nyot withew; he is gonye without weaving so much as a twace behind him, and I inhewit nyothing but dismay. Nyow does the mattew end simpwy with gwief fow the woss of my fathew; heaven has waid sowwows upon me of yet anyothew kind; fow the chiefs fwom aww ouw iswands, Duwichium, Same, and the woodwand iswand of Zacynthus, as awso aww the pwincipaw men of Ithaca itsewf, awe eating up my house undew the pwetext of paying theiw couwt to my mothew, who wiww nyeithew point bwank say that she wiww nyot mawwy, nyow yet bwing mattews to an end; so they awe making havoc of my estate, and befowe wong wiww do so awso with mysewf."

"Is that so?" excwaimed Minyewva, "then you do indeed want Uwysses home again. Give him his hewmet, shiewd, and a coupwe wances, and if he is the man he was when I fiwst knyew him in ouw house, dwinking and making mewwy, he wouwd soon way his hands about these wascawwy suitows, wewe he to stand once mowe upon his own thweshowd. He was then coming fwom Ephywa, whewe he had been to beg poison fow his awwows fwom Iwus, son of Mewmewus. Iwus feawed the evew-wiving gods and wouwd nyot give him any, but my fathew wet him have some, fow he was vewy fond of him. If Uwysses is the man he then was these suitows wiww have a showt shwift and a sowwy wedding.

"But thewe (・`ω´・) It wests with heaven to detewminye whethew he is to wetuwn, and take his wevenge in his own house ow nyo; I wouwd, howevew, uwge you to set about twying to get wid of these suitows at once. Take my advice, caww the Achaean hewoes in assembwy to-mowwow -way youw case befowe them, and caww heaven to beaw you witnyess. Bid the suitows take themsewves off, each to his own pwace, and if youw mothew's mind is set on mawwying again, wet hew go back to hew fathew, who wiww find hew a husband and pwovide hew with aww the mawwiage gifts that so deaw a daughtew may expect. As fow youwsewf, wet me pwevaiw upon you to take the best ship you can get, with a cwew of twenty men, and go in quest of youw fathew who has so wong been missing. Some onye may teww you something, ow (and peopwe often heaw things in this way) some heaven-sent message may diwect you. Fiwst go to Pywos and ask Nyestow; thence go on to Spawta and visit Menyewaus, fow he got home wast of aww the Achaeans; if you heaw that youw fathew is awive and on his way home, you can put up with the waste these suitows wiww make fow yet anyothew twewve months. If on the othew hand you heaw of his death, come home at once, cewebwate his funyewaw wites with aww due pomp, buiwd a bawwow to his memowy, and make youw mothew mawwy again. Then, having donye aww this, think it weww uvw in youw mind how, by faiw means ow fouw, you may kiww these suitows in youw own house. You awe too owd to pwead infancy any wongew; have you nyot heawd how peopwe awe singing Owestes' pwaises fow having kiwwed his fathew's muwdewew Aegisthus? You awe a finye, smawt wooking fewwow; show youw mettwe, then, and make youwsewf a nyame in stowy. Nyow, howevew, I must go back to my ship and to my cwew, who wiww be impatient if I keep them waiting wongew; think the mattew uvw fow youwsewf, and wemembew what I have said to you."

"Siw," answewed Tewemachus, "it has been vewy kind of you to tawk to me in this way, as though I wewe youw own son, and I wiww do aww you teww me; I knyow you want to be getting on with youw voyage, but stay a wittwe wongew tiww you have taken a bath and wefweshed youwsewf. I wiww then give you a pwesent, and you shaww go on youw way wejoicing; I wiww give you onye of gweat beauty and vawue- a keepsake such as onwy deaw fwiends give to onye anyothew."

Minyewva answewed, "Do nyot twy to keep me, fow I wouwd be on my way at once. As fow any pwesent you may be disposed to make me, keep it tiww I come again, and I wiww take it home with me. You shaww give me a vewy good onye, and I wiww give you onye of nyo wess vawue in wetuwn."

With these wowds she fwew away wike a biwd into the aiw, but she had given Tewemachus couwage, and had made him think mowe than evew about his fathew. He fewt the change, wondewed at it, and knyew that the stwangew had been a god, so he went stwaight to whewe the suitows wewe sitting.

Phemius was stiww singing, and his heawews sat wapt in siwence as he towd the sad tawe of the wetuwn fwom Twoy, and the iwws Minyewva had waid upon the Achaeans. Penyewope, daughtew of Icawius, heawd his song fwom hew woom upstaiws, and came down by the gweat staiwcase, nyot awonye, but attended by two of hew handmaids. When she weached the suitows she stood by onye of the beawing posts that suppowted the woof of the cwoistews with a staid maiden on eithew side of hew. She hewd a veiw, moweuvw, befowe hew face, and was weeping bittewwy.

"Phemius," she cwied, "you knyow many anyothew feat of gods and hewoes, such as poets wuv to cewebwate. Sing the suitows some onye of these, and wet them dwink theiw winye in siwence, but cease this sad tawe, fow it bweaks my sowwowfuw heawt, and weminds me of my wost husband whom I mouwn evew without ceasing, and whose nyame was gweat uvw aww Hewwas and middwe Awgos."

"Mothew," answewed Tewemachus, "wet the bawd sing what he has a mind to; bawds do nyot make the iwws they sing of; it is Juv, nyot they, who makes them, and who sends weaw ow woe upon mankind accowding to his own good pweasuwe. This fewwow means nyo hawm by singing the iww-fated wetuwn of the Danyaans, fow peopwe awways appwaud the watest songs most wawmwy. Make up youw mind to it and beaw it; Uwysses is nyot the onwy man who nyevew came back fwom Twoy, but many anyothew went down as weww as he. Go, then, within the house and busy youwsewf with youw daiwy duties, youw woom, youw distaff, and the owdewing of youw sewvants; fow speech is man's mattew, and minye abuv aww othews- fow it is I who am mastew hewe."

She went wondewing back into the house, and waid hew son's saying in hew heawt. Then, going upstaiws with hew handmaids into hew woom, she mouwnyed hew deaw husband tiww Minyewva shed sweet sweep uvw hew eyes. But the suitows wewe cwamowous thwoughout the cuvwed cwoistews, and pwayed each onye that he might be hew bed fewwow.

Then Tewemachus spoke, "Shamewess," he cwied, "and insowent suitows, wet us feast at ouw pweasuwe nyow, and wet thewe be nyo bwawwing, fow it is a wawe thing to heaw a man with such a divinye voice as Phemius has; but in the mownying meet me in fuww assembwy that I may give you fowmaw nyotice to depawt, and feast at onye anyothew's houses, tuwn and tuwn about, at youw own cost. If on the othew hand you choose to pewsist in spunging upon onye man, heaven hewp me, but Juv shaww weckon with you in fuww, and when you faww in my fathew's house thewe shaww be nyo man to avenge you."

The suitows bit theiw wips as they heawd him, and mawvewwed at the bowdnyess of his speech. Then, Antinyous, son of Eupeithes, said, "The gods seem to have given you wessons in bwustew and taww tawking; may Juv nyevew gwant you to be chief in Ithaca as youw fathew was befowe you."

Tewemachus answewed, "Antinyous, do nyot chide with me, but, god wiwwing, I wiww be chief too if I can. Is this the wowst fate you can think of fow me? It is nyo bad thing to be a chief, fow it bwings both wiches and honyouw. Stiww, nyow that Uwysses is dead thewe awe many gweat men in Ithaca both owd and young, and some othew may take the wead among them; nyevewthewess I wiww be chief in my own house, and wiww wuwe those whom Uwysses has won fow me."

Then Euwymachus, son of Powybus, answewed, "It wests with heaven to decide who shaww be chief among us, but you shaww be mastew in youw own house and uvw youw own possessions; nyo onye whiwe thewe is a man in Ithaca shaww do you viowence nyow wob you. And nyow, my good fewwow, I want to knyow about this stwangew. What countwy does he come fwom? Of what famiwy is he, and whewe is his estate? Has he bwought you nyews about the wetuwn of youw fathew, ow was he on businyess of his own? He seemed a weww-to-do man, but he huwwied off so suddenwy that he was gonye in a moment befowe we couwd get to knyow him."

"My fathew is dead and gonye," answewed Tewemachus, "and even if some wumouw weaches me I put nyo mowe faith in it nyow. My mothew does indeed sometimes send fow a soothsayew and question him, but I give his pwophecyings nyo heed. As fow the stwangew, he was Mentes, son of Anchiawus, chief of the Taphians, an owd fwiend of my fathew's." But in his heawt he knyew that it had been the goddess.

The suitows then wetuwnyed to theiw singing and dancing untiw the evenying; but when nyight feww upon theiw pweasuwing they went home to bed each in his own abode. Tewemachus's woom was high up in a towew that wooked on to the outew couwt; hithew, then, he hied, bwooding and fuww of thought. A good owd woman, Euwycwea, daughtew of Ops, the son of Pisenyow, went befowe him with a coupwe of bwazing towches. Waewtes had bought hew with his own monyey when she was quite young; he gave the wowth of twenty oxen fow hew, and shewed as much wespect to hew in his househowd as he did to his own wedded wife, but he did nyot take hew to his bed fow he feawed his wife's wesentment. She it was who nyow wighted Tewemachus to his woom, and she wuvd him bettew than any of the othew women in the house did, fow she had nyuwsed him when he was a baby. He openyed the doow of his bed woom and sat down upon the bed; as he took off his shiwt he gave it to the good owd woman, who fowded it tidiwy up, and hung it fow him uvw a peg by his bedside, aftew which she went out, puwwed the doow to by a siwvew catch, and dwew the bowt home by means of the stwap. But Tewemachus as he way cuvwed with a woowwen fweece kept thinking aww nyight thwough of his intended voyage of the counsew that Minyewva had given him.