hawkeye and trapper get fake septums
(id under the cut)
[image id: a three-page digital comic about characters from the TV show MASH, illustrated by "druid-for-hire." On page 1, frank burns squints at Hawkeye from a short distance, who is next to Trapper, who is reading a newspaper that obscures his face. "Pierce," Burns asks, "what's on your face?" Hawkeye turns to face him, revealing a septum piercing. "what's what, Frank?" he asks. Shocked and affronted by this breach in army regulations, he shouts, "I can't!! Believe you!! It's not enough for you to disagrace the army uniform by being out of it all the time? You have to go and--and do that! You look like a punk! Or a cow!"
On page 2, Hawkeye, unbothered, replies "Y'know, Frank, I'm finally living up to the Pierce name. I was thinking about going for some ear tag earrings. Maybe I can get a nurse to pull my udders." Frank howls, "That's disgusting!" Turning to Trapper he shouts, "Did you have anything to do with this, McIntyre?" Trapper pulls down the newspaper to reveal that he's wearing three septum rings and says, "I sure did! He stole my look!"
On page 3, Frank says "You're both terrible. Both of your butts are going on report!" while Hawkeye takes out his apparently fake septum ring behind his back. "Report for what, Frank?" he asks; Frank turns to see that the piercing is now missing. "Yeah, what's the matter, Frank?" Trapper says, whose piercing is suddenly missing as well. Frank storms off, yelling "Neither of you can pull the wool over my eyes!! Just wait until General Barker hears about this!" Some time later, Frank is standing next to General Barker, pointing at Hawk. "General, I'm telling you, the hole is THERE!" he shouts. "Go and take a look in those nostrils for yourself!" There is a long and awkward pause. The General did not like that. Hawkeye remarks, "Gee Frank, take a girl to dinner first." end id]
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okay but imagine. Thalia Grace, after Jason's death, in a fit of desperation, comes racing to Nico di Angelo, wanting him to summon his ghost, because she just wants to talk to her brother one last time. Before it's too late. Before he reaches Elysium, since the closest she could get to talking to her brother after he goes to the hero's paradise is through dreams, and that wasn't enough for her. Seeing his fragmented soul through dreams is not nearly good enough. She wants the message to reach him. The real him. Not a loomy remnant. She wants to apologise, as she feels her soul being hollowed out with guilt.
She should've looked for Jason, even after their mother told her that he's dead.
She shouldn't have been so busy with the hunters that she would have to cut their brother-sister conversation short.
She should've realised how much her brother craved her attention.
She should've come to the chb meeting that she'd promised jason she'd come to, she shouldn't have made her brother wait like a lost puppy.
The look in jason's eyes when she told him she'd have to leave was etched on to her face. Permanently scarring her soul.
She should've been a better sister. She failed him. She failed to make him feel wanted. She hoped Jason didn't face his death thinking that she didn't need him. Because Gods of Olympus, that would break her.
And she poured all of these gut wrenching thoughts to Nico, who suprisingly listened. Yes. Nico did resent Thalia for being in the hunters of Artemis, the same group that got his sister killed. But listening to Thalia pour her heart out to him, really hit a little too close to home. The daughter of Zeus seemed to echo a young nico, trying aimlessly to summon his sister's ghost to talk to her. They both had the same hollow red eyes, burning with hot tears streaming down, the same crease in the eyebrows, the same flicker of rage over their siblings's murder. At that moment, Thalia Grace looked as unthreatening as the king of all god's daughter could possibly look like.
But Nico was glad, that Thalia, atleast cared about her little brother to this extent. Up until this point, Nico had these lingering doubts if Bianca had really cared about him like this, she had dropped everything to join the hunters after all. Hearing Thalia talk about jason had healed his inner child. Maybe big sisters do think about their younger brothers, no matter how busy they appear to be... So he complied to her wishes. She deserved closure from her brother's death. It would do Jason some good too.
He poured all of his concentration into summoning the son of Jupiter, as Thalia anxiously chewed on her nails, pacing around the murky woods in anticipation. Until a wispy figure with rimmed glasses and neatly cropped hair, appeared in front of them.
"Hello, sis."
Nico di Angelo and Thalia Grace were more or less the same, when it came to wanting to make amends with their deceased sibling.
Except Thalia was the older sister who wanted her younger brother back, And Nico was the younger brother who wanted his older sister back.
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i forgot to post this during june but i think one of the reasons qsmp was so important was how unapologetically Gay it was
for starters, the number of creators and admins involved who are irl queer of some variation, just chilling in a place where any kind of phobia would get Philza's legendary ban hammer faster than you could say "rainbow jelly"
and then the characters.
i remember showing up that first day and being shocked that somehow foolish had an ex-boyfriend already (I had missed the squidcraft lore apparently)
that server. gay. all the gay. all kinds of gay.
govermentally assigned platonic husbands that stayed together the whole time (despite one of them being gone for months at a time), not a chance in hell of infidelity. Proud fathers of two wonderful children.
governmentally assigned partners who yelled full volume at each other about cheating any time they were in the room together and between the two of them killed two children.
a grieving father and ex-convict becoming one of the most solid couples in the server, with a beautiful wedding and consistent public displays of affection via the in-game chat.
a demon ashamed of who she was and a lonely detective struggling with family trauma, now with a lil girl of their own, to love together and take care of, with more moms than could ever allow the little girl to ever be lonely herself.
a 2b2t warrior coming to terms with his sexuality with the support of his beautiful baby boy at his side, slowly but surely opening up to his eventual Brazilian Boyfriend. Where they went from the most cautious couple (baby steps) to the most sickeningly sweet couple on the server.
- and this list doesn't even scratch the surface.
gay characters, trans characters, ace characters, aroace characters, gender fluid characters, all kinds of relationships and families.
all presented without negativity or shame.
the point of the server was to exchange languages and cultures, without the biases and barriers seen so much in both the content creator scene and the wider world.
it also had a beautiful little side effect, practically by accident.
our lgbtqsmp.
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One of the bats has to go undercover as a patient of a particularly suspect new and upcoming therapist. Bruce already has a backstory fleshed out and a cover identity, but that's no fun now is it.
Dick: Okay, the bat council is now in session. First things first-
Steph: I'm the realest.
Jason: Shut the fuck up.
Dick: No, no arguing. We're here on a MISSION.
Tim: That's right, a very important mission.
Dick: One of us has to go undercover as Dr. Hoffman's patient. But why? Why are we seeking therapy?
Tim: Wrong answers only. If any of you get too real, Dick can and will find you a real therapist.
Dick: And Tim, no superhero related answers. Bernard's PowerPoint nights give you too much of an advantage.
Tim: You're just jealous I know that Batman is actually a tulpa.
Jason: You shut the fuck up too.
---
Dick: Okay, I'll go first to get the obvious answer out of the way. I'm going because I'm secretly Batman, BUT I'm not here about that. I just have incredibly selective amnesia and can't remember the code to the Batmobile.
Jason: Oh that one's good. Let me think.
Steph: Hoffman is a man, right?
Dick: Right.
Steph: Easy, I'll claim womanly problems. Maybe get prescribed a vibrator.
Tim: *wheezes*
Dick: Ok Gotham's in the dark ages of psychology but not THAT much.
Steph: Spoilsport. Fine, I'm Batman's long lost twin sister.
Duke: Come on, we can't all go to therapy because of Batman.
Jason: I don't know, I feel like all of us should go to therapy because of Batman.
Cass: I'll go because I'm Batman.
Jason: I'd vote for you.
Duke: I think I would go because Metropolis isn't real.
Tim: Like, the whole city is-
Duke: It's a conspiracy. The government wants us to think there's this wonderful city where nothing bad ever happens and an actual alien from space saves the day. Tries to make us buy into some utopian bullshit.
Tim: Hoffman's just going to drive you there.
Duke: Ha! He's not getting ME to a secondary location. He might be in on it.
Steph: Compelling, definitely compelling. I nominate Duke's for first place.
Jason: Don't jump the gun.
Tim: Yeah, you haven't heard ours.
Steph: Well? Let's hear it then.
Tim: I'm an alien spy, sent here to study humans. Only I'm not doing well because I was taken in by rich people and they act weirder than me. I want to know what it means to be human, but whenever I look around all I see is how to make a good margarita. It makes me... sad.
Steph: That's no good. We said wrong answers only.
Jason: Solid four out of ten.
Tim: Fuck off.
Jason: I think I would go because I was convinced I was the second coming of Jesus which is all fine and good, but my whole family is Jewish so it's making things a little awkward at the dinner table.
Steph: You did come back from the dead.
Jason: I did and I'll tell him that. Took a little longer than three days this time, though.
Tim: Okay, I'll be honest. Jason and Duke's are the best.
Dick: Hold on- Damian, do you have an answer?
Damian: Of course. And not one so foolish.
Duke: Well?
Damian: Well, my whole family is comprised of vigilantes and I'm under a lot of stress to be one as well and continue the family tradition. I will of course swear him to secrecy and avoid naming any vigilantes by name.
Dick: ...
Jason: This is what I'm talking about. This is exactly what I'm-
Dick: Yes, okay. Game's over. All of you are getting psych referrals in your inbox by the morning.
Steph: What about-
Dick: Duke won.
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