#how to write a headline

[thefloatingstone]

Appleseed PDA montage to save you from reading endless pages of unimportant politics that don't amount to anything

also because I have nothing better to do, I'm bored, I'm moody, my gaming laptop is still broken so no BG3, and it's too late at night to start drawing after doing animation clean-up all day.

[awaketake]

How To Write Attention Grabbing Headlines

Don't waste your traffic! Write headlines that grab your visitor’s attention and get more conversions and sales.

Writing catchy headlines may look like a simple task. But it makes all the difference when it comes to getting visitors to keep reading!

It's the difference between a reader leaving the page or proceeding and buying.

[gayagendaofficial]

hey uhhh. why the FUCK would you write the headline like that? like in 2015 you didn't see headlines like "the US sent gay people to conversion camps and had them lobotomized, now its Supreme Court is legalizing same-sex marriage." Cuba is on the verge of doing something amazing, meanwhile the US is facing a wave of homophobia and transphobia and a group of unelected judges can just decide to take the country back decades to the time of sodomy laws. then again, i'm not surprised that the Washington Post would write an article about a socialist country in the global south like this 🙄

[willowser]

much as bakugou hates having his privacy invaded, he doesn't bother to hide his face when buying you flowers.

out in public, right there on the street. first, in front of the strangers passing by, and then not long after, his candid, frowning face is plastered across several cheap magazines all throughout the city. it pisses him off to no end to keep his mouth shut when he knows some bastard is snapping his picture from across the street — but he swallows it all down, for you.

doesn't pull his hat any lower as he drives through the streets, doesn't hesitate to take the stairs up to your apartment, doesn't care to cover up the look on his face — with his pitifully sad eyes and soft frown — when you open and shut the door before he can even say anything.

bakugou hates to have his privacy invaded, but he'll gladly let the world know where his heart lies, this time. yeah, he fucked up before, but he'll be front page every single day if that's what it takes for you to realize how much you mean to him.

if, eventually, the center spread will be of you, leaning against the door frame with a little smile and a bouquet in your hands. he wouldn't even mind, really, if they captured the exact moment you decide to give him a second chance, or the kiss you plant on his cheek after.

can't tell how red his face is from a distance, but his smile is crystal clear.

[nashvillethotchicken]

If I had a nickel for every time a member of young money started wylin out for no goddamn reason this year I'd have 3 nickels, which isn't a lot but goddamn control your people

[bonebabbles]

God the new ultimate guide sucks

It's not JUST the awful art, either. The art's just worth mentioning because even if the book's info had been terrible or contained nothing new, really cute art can make it still worth having.

But, no, it's even full of recycled lines we've been hearing for years like "Bramblestar Can Match Squirrelflight's Fire Not Contain It," and that's when it DOES get everything right. These entries leave out major, important details (making them bad summaries) and are sometimes even straight-up incorrect.

SUMMARY THOUGHTS

Leafpool is said to have watched Brambleclaw kill Hawkfrost to save Firestar-- but for one, no, she was not there because Ashfur was still leading her and Squilf towards the scene. For two, no, Brambleclaw did not kill Hawkfrost just to save Firestar, it was self-defense. Hawkfrost had him pinned and was going to kill him.

They're REAL cute about Leafpool's death, too, neglecting to mention WHY the Sisters needed to be saved at all and just saying Leafpool's "generosity" lead to her death in that cave-in.

I'm not even going to get into everything on Bramble's entry jesus christ.

Sagewhisker's entry is ESPECIALLY fucken' dandy, framing Yellowfang's Secret like she was simply waiting patiently for Yellow to realize her 'destiny' and not actively shoving it on her at every opportunity.

Leopardstar's entry states that romantic interest in Tigerstar was part of her motivation. "Perhaps she'd hoped he would be her mate" please speak to a woman irl for once in your life.

Gray Wing's entry forgot that the reason he "blamed himself" for Bright Stream's death is because he was literally staring at his big strong brother too much and tripped on a root in front of him. It IS his fault she died.

Clear Sky/Skystar's entry is just obscene. "He regretted abandoning his son and after a fire, he encouraged him to live with him" instead of "saw his teenage child was useful now and bullied and belittled the kid and his uncle into letting Thunder come with him." "Retaining his fierceness towards his cats and outsiders which caused his son to leave" instead of "murdering, brutalizing, and abusing everyone around him caused Thunder to leave." I'll just say this tho; "Fierce" is an interesting way to spell "Cruel."

It's interesting that they don't point out that a major part of Jagged Peak's arc was proving he was "Just As Good" as every other cat in spite of his disability, thanks to his introduced-and-pregnant-in-the-same-book wife becoming his life coach, only earning Clear Sky's respect after being allowed to physically lead a patrol in Blazing Star. Instead they frame him finding his place through taking care of kits, which... was something he seemed to resent in the actual series, considering how the books suddenly treat Gray Wing's protective treatment of him as a terrible thing in Blazing Star because he "didn't give him a chance". But at the same time I actually strongly dislike Jagged Peak and his messy, frustrating character arc so I'm not really UPSET with it. Just... noting it. I suppose this is the official direction they're taking away from it?

Shadowstar's entry is barely even 3 paragraphs yikes.

SHORT STORY THOUGHTS

And if you're wondering if the 4 brand new stories they smooshed into the end in a desperate attempt to make the rush job worth buying are good? No. Of course not. They're all slop.

Story 1: Firestar and Graystripe

First one's a marginally cute story about Graystripe and Firestar which is setting up the framing device linking the mini-tales together. They both remember this situation where Firestar fell into a ditch wrong. The punchline is that Thunderstar remembers it perfectly and they're both like, "WOW! Too bad Thunderstar's memory sucks!"

It's not terrible, but it does feel a bit pointless. But, hey, if you want more Firestar and Graystripe in the series that tosses them fanservice at every turn, who am I to judge?

Story 2: Dovewing and Ivypool

The next one is the Dovewing/Ivypool reconciliation passage everyone's talking about. It's... fine, but immensely dissatisfying to me.

Dovewing is apparently having problems adjusting to her Clan, grapples a little bit with the fact she has no friends but is going to be finding meaning in helping tigerHeartstar "bring the new ShadowClan into existence." She ultimately decides that she needs to talk to her sister, and begs for reassurance that Ivypool believes in her, feeling that her support can help her get through this difficult time in her life.

I think its biggest problem is that Dovewing was not the right choice for the POV here.

Dove was never the one responsible for the rift in their relationship. Ivypool is. Ivypool is the one who was jealous, willing to sabotage anything that would put Dovewing closer to Tigerheart, and continues to be generally aggressive towards her. So when Dovewing is reaching out to Ivypool in hopes of them reconciling, it feels wrong because Ivypool is the one that should be reaching out to Dovewing. SHE is the one who has some things to apologize for, and to show how much she loves and misses her.

It's even kind of frustrating, because Dovewing can never catch a break. She has to have these problems to force her to reach out, Ivypool even ends up suggesting that she leave and come home and take her kids with her, but in the end even a LITTLE bit of assurance from her aggressive sister helps.

I feel super bad for Dovewing, man. She deserves better than this cheap writing. What was the point of such an unsatisfying, rushed reconciliation, shoved into a crummy field guide, when we KNOW from the newest book that they're just going to use tension between them as part of the drama anyway?

shouldn't have even been written, imo. Even ends off with, "They'll always have each other :)" which is so... cliche. It's TIRED. Are any of you really happy with just getting a retconned platitude in a good-for-nothing field guide, instead of seeing complicated, INTERESTING feelings in a main book?

Story 3: Alderheart and Twigbranch

A tale of Cherryfall getting sick during TBC and Alderheart sneaks back into the territory to treat her. Also Crowfeather has a scene where he yells at him. Charming.

Twigbranch comes up with a diversion while Alderheart does his work, which is cute. It's a fine story.

Story 4: Clear Sky

Trash. Three dogs spawn in the middle of a gathering so that Skystar can have an uwu big boy sendoff saving his grandkit. Then he goes to StarClan and throws a fit because they can't give him ANOTHER life, becoming so upset that he attacks the nearest woman. Naturally, Shadowstar brushes it off because it's not the first time Clear Sky has pummeled her in the midst of an adult tantrum and this book series thinks violence is fine if their favorite sadboy does it.

Then Gray Wing brings him to the magic mirror pool where you can see the living, to confirm that Star Flower is ok and that makes him feel better.

Then it launches into Firestar saying "ouuuugh yum I LOVE the taste of his butthole. Clear Sky is so misunderstood, He Just Loved Too Much."

to which Graystripe responds, "Yes, he was a good and amazing person and his farts smells SO good, and can you believe that some people think StarClan punished his Clan for his arrogance? As if he ever did anything wrong, ever?"

Firestar, indignant, refutes it with, "Ugh!! StarClan would NEVER be interesting, we don't punish living cats we just float around and make vague, frustrating prophecies that do nothing but pad the word count. Why cant ppl understand that, gosh."

who wrote this? Gray Wing??

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

[tedhead]

Dean Martin and Marilyn Monroe in outtakes from the unfinished film Something’s Got To Give.

[amphorographia]

I will die on the hill that Simon Kain and Isidor Burakh were both fucking sociopaths and even then my tombstone will read "FUCK THOSE SELF-AGGRANDIZING MURDERERS AND THEIR COMPASSIONLESS FUCKING HEARTS"

[acurtist]

Some of the tropes I am eager to incorporate:

1. Enemies to lovers. 🤣

2. Secret double-agent 😂

3. Twilight's multigenerational Romance 😜

4. Romeo and Juliet style 🐕

5. Tortured Harem Queen 🤡

6. Tragic Cinderella 💦

7. Misunderstood Terrorist 🫦

8. Pride and Prejudice Realism🥹

9. Jane Eyre U-turn 🐸

10. Prince and Pauper Simulation 😆

11. John Wick+Matrix Mashup🎭

12. Humble Help Pie 🩰

Just kidding, I'll burn down my WIP and hang all my CHARACTER before I add any of these. 👀

[street-corner-felines]

Zero Day Director commentary - With actor Andre Keuck

[eradicatetehnormal]

It's just like...There are people in this world who are so greedy and do anything in their power to make sure that the people around them have as little as possible. I'm getting to the point where it's just like, these people could die and society would lose nothing of value.

[rachelsquill]

finding out smth ur ex coworker did after he quit got me like “yeah okay i knew i felt off abt u and ur beliefs but now i know i was right”

[rosegasly]

max post-sprint press conference gave sassyyy 💅

[giratina-and-the-skys-bouquet]

thinking about how fucked up maigoen is, but not as one of the children entering, but as a parent of one of the Hydrangea Daycare kids.

Imagine raising a child, having an ordinary life. You have many things that are important to you, because you have adult responsibilities, but your child is one of your top priorities. You send them to daycare, and one day they come back with a pamphlet to go to an amusement park. You sent them on field trips before, and you know that there are other adults looking out for your child. So you sign it out, pay the money if it needs to be paid, and send them off again.

You wait, but they haven't come home yet, even though they should have 10, 20 minutes ago. You try to rationalize it. "Surely," you think, "It must be a long bus ride to the theme park and back. They're walking home right now, and I'll give them their favorite meal for dinner."

It's been a hour now. You can't fight off the anxiety anymore. You walk all the way to the daycare, about to give one of the teachers a scolding for not letting you know they were going to be back in town so late, and all you see is other adults like you. Calling the police to report 18 different missing person cases. Calling the teachers, but they don't pick up.

A pit you didn't even know you had in your stomach opens up.

[lady-harrowhark]

What do you imagine weddings in the nine houses are like? Do you think they still wear white or abide by any more traditional pre-resurrection customs? Since Jod drew so much inspiration from both Rome and Catholicism (Catholic wedding doctrine is based on the ideas of free will marriage that were tradition in ancient Rome) I think it's likely but there has to be some insane necromancy element too. Maybe a riff on the eucharist from wedding masses? Also, how do you think it varies from house to house? You always have really fun and creative ideas about the world, so I thought I'd ask your opinion about one of my favorite random headcanons to think about. (P.S. I hope the eras concert was fun!!)

Oh gosh, first of all, that is incredibly flattering lol. Second... I actually hadn't given this just a ton of thought before getting this, so it's been fun to thing about!

I think they probably resemble Christian/Catholic wedding ceremonies enough to be recognizable as such, but I would love it if they were like, the funhouse mirror version of that. I LOVE the idea of the Eucharist being involved prominently, but maybe even at a more symbolic level? Like we could obviously tie that to the whole "consume the flesh" thing, but I just feel like Tamsyn could come up with a really cool play on that concept that would never even occur to me lol.

I kind of doubt they wear white; I don't really have a good rationale for this other than vibes. Just thinking about how we see a decent range of aesthetics across the clothing of the Houses, especially in color, it would track that they have differing customs for wedding/ceremonial attire as well. Like, I can't really imagine that the Sixth whole gray librarian thing translates into formalwear the same way that say, the Third does (although using the Third as an example feels like cheating, because I suspect they go over the top for EVERYTHING so no one was gonna be doing it like them anyway lmao).

As an aside, I'm pausing for a moment to push one of my most indulgent AtN bingo card items, which is Harrow wearing white. I know the Lyctor robes are like, iridescent white, but I mean purely white. With Alecto getting so much imagery around light, and how Harrow describes her in the Tomb as wearing wearing "a white shift", it could be a cool parallel. Oh also, now that I think about it, the whole thing about Harrow being a nun, i.e., "betrothed to the Locked Tomb". Plus like, there's something there about the way it would be close to but not exactly like the iridescent white of the Lyctor robes, like, John was trying to emulate that and could only achieve a flashy approximation. And something something Harrow setting aside the black of the Ninth something mumble. But mostly, I'm heart eyes over more wedding/marriage imagery for her and Gideon 🥰 (Idk what to make of that in contrast to the white that the Tower Princes wear, but it's entirely hypothetical at this point, which means that I can ignore anything that doesn't fit my agenda.)

On my last reread, one of the little details that I was actually really taken by was that Magnus is noted to be wearing a wedding ring. So that tradition still stands, at least for the Fifth, and I absolutely melted over it.

I would kind of assume the vibe of a wedding ceremony varies from House to House, maybe along the lines of what we know about the cultures of each and what they tend to emphasize. If that's the case, I would LOVE to see a Seventh wedding; I bet it's gorgeous and deliciously fucked up. I'm really really curious about the wedding that Tamsyn has mentioned being in AtN, especially because she mentioned party dresses, and you know how I love putting blorbos in outfits. I suspect that her saying that is a bit of a red herring... Like if I'm giving my best guess, there WILL be a wedding (an actual one, not just a symbolic Lyctorhood whatever wedding) BUT I don't it will be the focus. I could see it being used really neatly as backdrop for some heisty business, more of a plot device to get people all in one place or as a distraction. I'm not getting my hopes up to see the actual ceremony, I guess is what I'm saying. The real action might be happening in the next room over.

(and P.S. THANK YOU! It was AMAZING and honestly, probably the best night of my life and also I cried for basically the entire thing, I still cannot believe I was lucky enough to be there. I got to go with my best friends, who live quite far away from me and I hadn't seen since January, which made it that much more fun. We went to the second night, and we mostly stayed off our phones/away from any social media so that we could go in and be completely surprised without having seen anything about it, and I'm so glad we did! I wouldn't have held out if we were going to a different date lol.)