#how to start positive reinforcement

[moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom]

I just find it mind-boggling that some people will reblog things like “Anakin didn’t care about Rex and his men, he wouldn’t listen to Fives just because he was friends with Palpatine” and then in the next post be gushing over Rexwalker/Rexanidala like???? so you agree. Anakin does care about Rex?

[rebellum]

"We should respect trans mascs and butches because they protect us at pride"

So I get what you're doing with trying to argue against the anti-masculinity crowd and trying to say that trans mascs and butches are an important part of pride as a way to emphasize our place in the community

But...

Why us?

Why are we disposable? Why are we not worthy of protection?

When are you going to protect us, too?

[straw-berrydonut]

Chat, what is the opinion of fics that are very dialogue heavy? I'm trying to write one, but there's been no action so far, just a ton of yapping😭

[paradife-loft]

lmao I keep getting into the Usagi/Seiya plotline since it... genuinely actually works and also manages to highlight Usagi/Mamoru well (in a way they... aren't great at doing when they're actually both in the same room, oops)

and then someone always barges in BUT USAGIIII DON'T YOU ALREADY HAVE A SPECIAL SOMEONE??????!!!!!! like the world's most unnecessary Sailor Kool-Aid Man

Usagi's got two hands and genuine feelings for both of them, y'all, leave her alone

[forgotn1]

What sucks is that I would never think or talk about other people the way I do myself, but that doesn't make it easier to stop myself from thinking of myself in negative terms.

[ulyuxe]

In the past fifty years, fantasy’s greatest sin might be its creation of a bland, invariant, faux-Medieval European backdrop. The problem isn’t that every fantasy novel is set in the same place: pick a given book, and it probably deviates somehow. The problem is that the texture of this place gets everywhere.

What’s texture, specifically? Exactly what Elliot says: material culture. Social space. The textiles people use, the jobs they perform, the crops they harvest, the seasons they expect, even the way they construct their names. Fantasy writing doesn’t usually care much about these details, because it doesn’t usually care much about the little people – laborers, full-time mothers, sharecroppers, so on. (The last two books of Earthsea represent LeGuin’s remarkable attack on this tendency in her own writing.) So the fantasy writer defaults – fills in the tough details with the easiest available solution, and moves back to the world-saving, vengeance-seeking, intrigue-knotting narrative. Availability heuristics kick in, and we get another world of feudal serfs hunting deer and eating grains, of Western name constructions and Western social assumptions. (Husband and wife is not the universal historical norm for family structure, for instance.)

Defaulting is the root of a great many evils. Defaulting happens when we don’t think too much about something we write – a character description, a gender dynamic, a textile on display, the weave of the rug. Absent much thought, automaticity, the brain’s subsconscious autopilot, invokes the easiest available prototype – in the case of a gender dynamic, dad will read the paper, and mom will cut the protagonist’s hair. Or, in the case of worldbuilding, we default to the bland fantasy backdrop we know, and thereby reinforce it. It’s not done out of malice, but it’s still done.

The only way to fight this is by thinking about the little stuff. So: I was quite wrong. You do need to worldbuild pretty hard. Worldbuild against the grain, and worldbuild to challenge. Think about the little stuff. You don’t need to position every rain shadow and align every tectonic plate before you start your short story. But you do need to build a base of historical information that disrupts and overturns your implicit assumptions about how societies ‘ordinarily’ work, what they ‘ordinarily’ eat, who they ‘ordinarily’ sleep with. Remember that your slice of life experience is deeply atypical and selective, filtered through a particular culture with particular norms. If you stick to your easy automatic tendencies, you’ll produce sexist, racist writing – because our culture still has sexist, racist tendencies, tendencies we internalize, tendencies we can now even measure and quantify in a laboratory. And you’ll produce narrow writing, writing that generalizes a particular historical moment, its flavors and tongues, to a fantasy world that should be much broader and more varied. Don’t assume that the world you see around you, its structures and systems, is inevitable.

We... need worldbuilding by Seth Dickinson

[whumpster-fire]

Broke: Chilchuck Tims is child coded.

Woke: Chilchuck Tims isn't child coded, he's a middle-aged, divorced man with grown up children.

Bespoke: Chilchuck Tims cannot be accurately described as either "child coded" or "not child coded" because he is a deliberate commentary on the idea of "child coding" itself.

Chilchuck, and half-foots in Dungeon Meshi in general, are given significantly more neotenous proportions and appearances (e.g. larger heads and eyes, rounder faces) than the other races. This is not universal for depictions of hobbits / halflings in Tolkien / D&D inspired fantasy fiction. Compare Chilchuck relative to the "tallmen" (humans) in Dunmeshi to how small races are drawn in something like Legend of Vox Machina (many of those characters are gnomes but whatever) or in basically any official D&D art. It was an intentional artistic decision to make him look like that. This is reinforced when he's temporarily transformed into a tallman (human) and in addition to becoming much taller he gains features that make him look more visibly middle-aged (stubble, eye bags / wrinkles, a more oval face) that he doesn't have as a half-foot. See also Marcille's transformed form and supplemental drawings of what all of the main party would look like as other races. However they do NOT look indistinguishable from actual children as portrayed by Dunmeshi's artstyle and have distinguishing features e.g. larger ears.

Chilchuck is frequently mistaken for a child in-universe, or treated / perceived as one even by members of other races who know he's a half-foot, and he hates this. His infantilization and that of half-foots in general isn't just a running gag, it's a significant plot point and source of discrimination. Like when the party gets impersonated by shapeshifters copying everyone based on the others' memories of them, and most of the Chilchuck clones look and behave more childish than the real one, and they almost get away with it, even though his party should know better than to think of him as a kid.

The narrative consistently takes the position that the people infantilizing Chilchuck are wrong, and are being ignorant/racist.

Conclusion: Chilchuck is definitely not "child-coded" in the way that a 700 year old shapeshifter that looks and behaves indistinguishably from a little kid for contrived reasons. However, he is intentionally designed to make it seem plausible for people who know he's an adult to still not fully believe it and this can make the viewers fall for it too. Which I guess is "child-coding" in a sense. But the message the work is trying to send is very clearly "Don't decide that grown-ass adults are equivalent to children and treat them like children because they have physical characteristics that remind you of a child you dipshit."

While hobbits aren't real and Chilchuck's traits that get him mistaken for a child are exaggerated compared to the vast, vast majority of real people, infantilization of grown-ass adults due to ableism, racism, or just people being dumbasses who forget short people exist is a real issue, and if you start shit with people for shipping Divorced Dad Chilchuck Tims with other characters or whatever you are displaying the exact attitude that's being criticized.

[foldingfittedsheets]

The mattress company I worked for the first time no longer exists. It was long ago eaten and assimilated by a bigger company. But when I started it was an incredibly intense five weeks of training. I was told I was extremely lucky to be selected, and I was. From a pool of a hundred applicants only fifteen of us made the cut to entering the training program.

The course covered how to talk to customers, how to ask open ended questions, how to close a sale, and product knowledge. I learned a lot, and truthfully my greatest takeaway was a lot of social scripts that I could use in other areas of my life.

We also had a midterm exam and a final. Both included a roleplay element with a trainer and a written portion. They told us when we started that the course was challenging but it was still a shock to come in after the midterm and realize half the class had failed.

I was named valedictorian of training- a dubious honor as it meant I’d done the best in the class, but popular lore had it that valedictorians struggled the most on the sales floor. Lo, I struggled.

Not because I wasn’t good. I was. But because my manager set out to systematically destroy my self esteem. Every sale, every interaction I had was scrutinized and criticized.

If I sold a bed with protectors, moveable base, and pillows he’d ask why I hadn’t managed to sell pillow protectors too. His first trainee had thrived on being challenged and he’d never bothered to learn a different way to coach.

It was wretched. My performance started strong but nosedived after a few weeks with him. My trainer, a man I loathed for stonewalling me in my interview, came in to inform me I was on new hire probation. If I couldn’t get my sales numbers up I’d be let go.

His actual phrasing was, “When you have a bandaid do you like to rip it off or pull it slowly?”

Since it was eminently obvious why he was visiting and because I thought it was condescending I sweetly informed him that I liked to soak my bandaids in hot water so they come off on their own.

He was briefly startled at this derailing but then got on with the bad news. I signed some forms stating that I understood my job was in peril.

I went home furious. I thought long and hard about why I wasn’t succeeding and how frustrated I was with my manager. I came in the next day and my anger had crystallized into a cold sharp edge.

My manager opened his mouth to address the probation and I snapped, “Just leave me alone. Go in the back if I have a sale. If you must address a serious issue then you will give me praise on two things I did right and present it as a compliment sandwich. Otherwise just say good job and shut up. Your constant nitpicking just makes me anxious and I do worse. Back off.” Belated and begrudging I added, “Please.”

He raised his eyebrows in dim surprise but I’d gauged him well. He backed off. Dutifully he’d meander into the back when I had a sale and praised me when I closed it. I resented knowing it was only because I’d demanded complimented but they still boosted me up. My numbers skyrocketed, I landed my first split king sale, and I exited probation with flying colors.

The trainer came back in to congratulate my manager for turning things around. To my gratification he gave me credit for setting him straight and said I’d taught him a different way to lead. My manager would often genuinely praise that moment when I’d stood up to him, impressed with my stubborn refusal to fail and my insight into what would help.

My biggest takeaway from the whole thing was just that people need positive reinforcement to succeed. Praise people for doing a good job. If you’re ever in a position where you need to criticize someone put it in a compliment sandwich instead of just saying the negative.

[loriache]

@grammarpedant You're exactly exactly right -- those different meanings of "to judge" were exactly what I was getting at in the tags!! Kabru isn't what we would commonly consider to be "judgemental" at all because he's got basically no attachment to his initial judgements or preconceptions; he's constantly taking in a huge amount of data about the people around him, their thoughts, behaviours, interactions and desires, and compositing them into this elaborate interwoven net.

You're right about his manipulations too. No-one who isn't Laios* is really fooled by him long-term; even Toshiro, who is also not exactly the most socially adept either, is questioning his motives like a day into knowing him! He doesn't manage to mask 100 percent successfully. Mithrun is like "you're clearly up to something, but I'll give you some rope and see what you do."

People do like him very much, and they often do what he wants, but it's not because he has them fooled, it's that he does things like "figure out how much personal space to give them" and "ask about themselves and listen with genuine interest". When he talks Toshiro down about Falin's resurrection, he immediately realised he was played, but isn't bothered by it because Kabru was just using a roundabout way to make a completely reasonable point. Even with mirroring Laios' interest in monsters, he hides his distress and pretends to be more interested than he is, but he is interested - he wants to understand Laios and understand how somebody could genuinely love monsters.

The way that, like Iztarshi says, this comes off as sinister just because he's doing consciously what other people do without thinking, that also makes me think of the way his altruism comes across as more "morally grey" than it really is. His consideration for others and his goal (to understand and end the threat of dungeons) don't have the same "warming" effect on his character as they would if he was pursuing them less pragmatically, and with less overthinking and doubting his own and others' methods. His decision to trust Laios would make him seem softer and more likeable if he did it without thinking, without doubting him so much. But that isn't how he operates, which I think is really realistic, and links to his autism too. He can't turn off his "analysis brain" and just go by instinct, you know? I kind of relate to that.

"I've been waiting for ages for somebody to unmask them."

This moment tends to elicit negative reactions in a first read through, and I've got some opinions about why where Kabru is coming from here actually makes a lot of logical sense. So I thought I'd elaborate on that.

I think people hear this and go, "He thinks they must be hiding something because they gave money to someone? What a cynic." Or "he dislikes them because they did charity?? What's wrong with this guy!". And obviously, a lot, a lot is wrong with him. But I think this makes more sense than it seems at first glance! What people evaluating this judgement miss is why Kabru is paying attention to Laios and co to begin with.

Kabru knows of the Touden siblings because (he's a little bit of a stalker-) he is keeping an eye on all the relevant parties in events developing on the island, in order to be able to guide them to his preferred outcome. This includes adventurers because they are the ones actually exploring the dungeon! He's well aware that something as minor as internal tensions between party members could be key to the historical events that are developing. (He would love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.)

His desired outcome is that whatever the rewards are of breaking the dungeon's curse, whether that's kingship or the ancient elven secrets of dungeons, are claimed by:

A) a short lived person

B) Someone who will be a good, effective leader and/or use those secrets and the power they carry wisely, with foresight, and to establish a political bloc for short lived people.

The person he can best trust to do this is, of course, himself. But due to his PTSD regarding dungeons and monsters, he's not able to develop the necessary skills to conquer the dungeon. Once he realises this, he starts looking for someone else who he can support to that end.

But most of the adventurers don't have any intentions of conquering the dungeon, don't have the skills, or are unsuitable in other ways. In fact, it seems like some potentially suitable people are the Toudens. There are a lot of good rumours about them going around - they actually seem to have a very positive reputation! That's what Kabru means when he says "unmask".

So when Kabru is observing something like them giving money to an old comrade from their gold-peeling days, he doesn't consider it a problem because "they're giving money to this person who doesn't actually need it" or because they must have some dark secret if they act superficially nice. I think he actually understands this situation and what it implies about Laios (in particular) perfectly well.

Laios and Falin gave money to an old comrade who got injured and couldn't work. That person then healed up but kept taking their money. Then he used the money to start smuggling illicit goods to the island.

The key is that for Kabru, the problem here is the same as with the corpse retrievers - people using the dungeon's resources to fuel dangerous, selfish, or violent pursuits cause problems for the island, attract more criminals and people with motives other than breaking the curse, and increase the chances of the whole situation ending in tragedy.

Kabru is willing to work with the Shadow Lord of the island if it gets him to his goal - he isn't scrupulous - but the criminal element of the island increasing is something he sees as a major issue.

Also, when you're evaluating someone as a candidate for power, riches, secrets, potentially kingship - then being curious about how the money you give to people is going to be used is kind of a relevant trait!

Interpersonally, Kabru's actually very easygoing - I mean, Mickbell isn't exactly an upstanding guy, is he! But Kabru likes him and they get along well. These traits wouldn't be a problem at all in a friend, or a comrade, or someone Kabru was confident he could use. But he can't get a handle on Laios, and Laios is someone who has the potential to be a major player!

On Laios' end, this is the same as with the marriage seeker who joined their party. She kept asking for things and he gave them to her, because he tries to be nice to others. He even gives her money! It's the exact same thing.

That's fine, but it became a problem because he basically wasn't interested in her motives, didn't notice she was trying to manipulate him, and it also didn't occur to him that the other party members would notice or be affected. We can assume the situation with the gold peeler is the same. When Kabru says that "It's not that they're bad people, they just aren't interested in humans," he isn't wrong.

The extent to which this is true of Laios is linked to his autism imo, (because it isn't just disinterest - he genuinely isn't able to notice nonverbal cues that people are lying to him or have ulterior motives) but to a greater or lesser extent I think it's a very common trait. Most people aren't actually that interested in other people who aren't close to them. Kabru is the weird one here. It isn't an issue except as a leader - which is why we see an immediate comparison to the Island's Lord, because that's how Kabru is evaluating them.

And disinterest in/lack of ability with people to the extent Laios exhibits it, it does, actually, make him a worse leader... it's just that as we see in the story, people can help him out. The rest of the party tell him the marriage seeker is taking advantage of him so he tells her he can't give her special treatment anymore. They're pissed and it's a crisis point - he couldn't have recovered their trust without Marcille and Falin - but that's exactly the point. With Marcille and Falin, he was able to recover their trust.

And he has other good traits that make up for it, such as his intelligence, strategic knowledge, open-mindedness and sense of fairplay.

Kabru doesn't disqualify Laios as a candidate based on what he sees about him from afar, though - he still tries very hard to get close to him, obviously hoping that if he manages he can steer Laios to defeat the dungeon and make up for his lack of people-skills in the aftermath. (Which... he does eventually achieve that goal!) He completely fails until the events of the story, so... definitely I think "They just aren't interested in humans" could also partially be a stung reaction to Laios' complete disinterest in him.

Anyway, that's my read on what exactly Kabru's "issue" with Laios is. Obviously, once he does find out what Laios' true nature is like - about his love for monsters - he develops an entirely new set of fears about Laios' priorities. But since Laios kept that a secret until the start of the story, he has no idea of that yet.

Given all that, I think it's interesting that he says that he doesn't think that the Toudens are suitable to defeat the dungeon, and that he's hoping they'll turn out to be the thieves. As some of his few potential candidates, people who he thinks may play a big role in the island's future, you'd think he'd hope they would be good people!

I suppose it's better, in his eyes, because it means that he's involved in something "interesting". They haven't just had their stuff stolen by regular criminals (boring, puts them further away from his goal) - they've been caught up in the beginning stages of "a historic event". The desperate and dwindling group forgetting morals in their quest to retrieve their lost comrade probably appeals to his sense of melodrama. Because he also just... loves drama.

Despite it being "uglier than anything he was expecting", he still pursues Laios as the person he wants to conquer the dungeon pretty much as soon as it becomes clear that he won't be able to do it himself and they are out of time. That's because... well, to be fair, there aren't any other options. And he fits standard A: he's short-lived!

and Kabru still hopes he can fit standard B, too, and be persuaded to use the power he wins for good. No matter how many nightmares he has about Laios, or whether he thinks about killing him. He doubts him, but ultimately he puts his faith in him and seems happy after the manga's ending that he made the right decision.

[local-hellhound-steals-spaghetti]

Let's talk about zoo animal welfare for a second...

(And I want to preface this by saying I have a 4 year Bachelor degree in Animal Science (focusing in welfare and behaviour with a major in Canine and Equine Science) before I got sidetracked into zoo animals and did 3 internships working with wild canids, ungulates and marine mammals - this involved both hands on behaviour modification/desenitisation as well as hands off behavioural observation and welfare study. I worked for 2 years as a marine mammal specialist and worked specifically in facilities to improve husbandry, behavioural training and welfare practises.

I also worked in a facility in the Asia Pacific, working to improve welfare standards for bottlenose dolphins and continued to work with cetacean welfare researchers after this. I also did a course in zoo management, husbandry and welfare and this involved working in an accredited zoo facility learning things like exhibit design, behaviour management and husbandry with multiple species.)

So a few points to say about zoo animal welfare when discussing zoo standards and practises:

The average person does not have the expertise to do behaviour observation and welfare evaluation in zoo animals - that's why when the general public visits a zoo and says "the animal looks sad" it's worth being skeptical of that claim. But it doesn't mean a gut feeling about a zoo's quality can be completely invalid. Just that it might be worth researching further or seeking more information.

However, with experience, it is possible to analyse behaviour in the context of welfare. And context to that behaviour is always important (for example, Moo Deng showing stress related behaviour towards the specific context of being touched or followed around by her keeper - very much an indication of poor handling practises)

Poor animal husbandry and welfare is not limited to specific countries or regions, however it can be more normalised and accepted under the influnce of cultures and laws. Or even just the culture of the zoo itself such as the "this is the way we've always done it" places.

Being an accredited zoo is a start to good welfare, but it doesn't make any sort of welfare concern obsolete. And accreditation is supposed to ensure that welfare concerns are addressed but because they are mostly run as a volunteer based organisation, they often don't have resources to check into every concern (unless it's a government funded organisation)

A zoo contributing to conservation research is great, but not if it is at the expense of the animals' welfare - welfare should always be prioritised, with research and conservation efforts to follow.

Welfare is a state that is in flux. So a negative welfare state can move into positive welfare state under different influences.

There are multiple factors that influence zoo animal welfare: enclosure/habitat, expression of natural behaviour, guest interaction, diet, enrichment, water quality, hygeine ect. It'll rarely just be one factor, though it does depend how salient that factor is.

Just because a keeper or management of a zoo have been there for a long time, doesn't mean they can't be criticised - it is possible to be still using outdated practises and believing in methodologies and management practises that need updating - that's the whole point of continued education

Having limited resources can often impact welfare. Giving a facility the resources they need to improve is a good start to improving welfare.

Even if an animal is being handled in an inappropriate way for a short time, that doesn't mean that can't have long term implications for welfare eg. if every time your dog jumped on you when you got home and you smacked him in the face once before going on with your day, that doesn't mean that your dog won't learn negative associations with your arrival just because it was one time.

Best practise husbandry of zoo animals involves:

Use of positive reinforcement based voluntary husbandry and health care

All interaction based on choice and voluntary interaction that is reinforced with primary reinforcement such as food

Mostly hands off approaches for the species that require them (ungulates, large primates, large carnivores)

Relatively stable social groups with aggression only in specific situations/contexts that are normal for the species

Back areas for animals to rest outside of public view

Species appropriate habitats to meet species specific behaviour requirements

Five freedoms of welfare being met but goes above and beyond the bare minimum

Poor zoo animal husbandry involves animals:

Being forced into anything such as presentations, education programs, medical procedures/gating

Any use of physical punishment such as chasing, slapping, pushing or poking - negative reinforcement such as bull hooks are also fairly outdated in handling species like elephants

Being excessively handled, chased and touched/restrained for no reason (eg. for social media videos)

Showing signs of avoidance and aggression constantly towards their keepers

Have constant conflict happening in their social groups

Are living in enclosures that are not suitable for their specific specific needs - size is only one factor in this. Substrate, habitat design, water quality ect. are also things to consider.

Are too close to the public/at risk from the public

Have no areas to retreat from the public/rest away from potential stressors

Have no enrichment program/no daily enrichment

Those are all flags that there could be some poor welfare happening and that a zoo is not prioritising welfare

Okay there's the ramble of the day done. Feel free to ask questions for further clarification if needed.

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

just a thought !! but what do u think ‘suki would do if he accidentally hurt reader ? like an elbow to the nose or smth , bc i kid u not that happened with my bf today and he would not leave until i told him i was fine 😭 js thought that katsu wld be an internal emotion wreck ??!

wait i love this omg😭😭tysm for the ask anon this is so cute, your boyfriend sounds like a sweetheart !

your nose stings.

you don’t really know how it happened, but you ended up getting decked in the nose by your boyfriend. accidentally, of course, said boyfriend would rip his own nails of before even thinking of hurting you. however, said boyfriend was also built out of fucking marble.

so it wouldn’t be surprising to say your nose hurt like a bitch.

“ow, ow, ow !” you whine, katsuki channels through confusion, realization and utter fear in about a millisecond. his hands smack against your face.

“holy—shit ! what the fuck’re y’doin’ ?!” his eyes scan all over your face like he’d shot you, and it honestly almost felt like he did. his hands grip at your cheeks. you wince when he presses his thumb to your nose. “ow—i was jus’ g’nna surprise you—ouch, katsuki !”

you pull your face out of his grip but he pulls you back, “stop squirmin’ an’ let me see.” he mumbles quietly, eyebrows furrowed hard. in focus or anger or worry but probably a mix of all three if you knew anything about him.

“holy fuck, why were you sneakin’ around like that, dummy..” you want to roll your eyes about him still trying to scold you, but the tone of his voice is different then when he usually does. he does sound genuinely worried so you want to reassure him.

“i was just trying to say hello.” you reiterate. “suki, i’m fine. it’s already starting to hurt less.” he ignores you and continues to inspect your face.

“nothin’ broken..” he mumbles to himself, thumbing at your nose a bit softer this time. you manage a snort.

“of course not, jesus, katsuki—”

“you’re okay, yeah ?”

“yes !” you giggle, gripping at his wrists. he pouts, studying your face. “it’s already starting to hurt less.”

he frowns even harder “i elbowed the shit outta you.”

“by accident.” you correct, “katsuki, it’s fine.”

“..you’re sure.”

“i’m sure.” you nod, smiling at him to reinforce your point. he squints, then sighs loudly. leaning in to kiss the bridge of your nose, copying the get better kisses you jokingly give him that he always scoffs at but insist you give him without fault. it hurts a bit, but you feel giddy anyway, your smile grows wider.

“don’t sneak up on me like that again, dummy.” he insists “i mean it.”

you cross your fingers together “promise.” you hum, he scoffs, you don’t think he can muster up a roll of his eyes right now since he can’t seem to be able of taking them away from you. he runs his thumb over your forehead.

“if it starts hurting or something, you tell me.”

“katsuki !” you groan, laughing. katsuki doesn’t look amused. not at all.

he growls “oi, i mean it.”

“i got it, i told you i am fine. you’re okay.” it seems that was the reassurance he needed. that you weren’t mad at him to boot. he exhales, shoulders dropping the slightest bit.

“…...you’re positive ?”

“katsuki, i swear to god—”

[regressionschool]

conditioning

Gaming can be an incredibly effective and playful tool for gently encouraging littles to embrace their regression further. By incorporating games into your routine, you can create a fun, immersive environment where they feel safe and carefree, helping them naturally let go of grown-up habits like asking to use the potty. Here’s how you can guide your little one toward relying on their pull-ups—and eventually transitioning back to diapers—with minimal resistance.

Step 1: Set the Scene

Choose a game that’s engaging but not overly stressful. Bright, colorful games with simple mechanics—like racing games, platformers, or anything involving cute animals—work best. Make sure your little feels cozy, either sitting on the floor or cuddled up near you. Outfit them in pull-ups and something adorable like a soft top or onesie to reinforce their little mindset.

Before starting, remind them that this is their playtime to relax and have fun. Let them get fully absorbed in the game so they aren’t thinking too much about their potty needs.

Step 2: Redirect When They Ask

If your little interrupts the game to ask for the potty, gently but firmly redirect them. Smile warmly and say something like, “Oh, sweetie, let’s finish this round first. You’re doing so well!” If they persist, pause the game for just long enough to take them, but introduce a small chore afterward—something simple, like tidying their play area or fetching a snack.

Make the chore a natural part of the routine but slightly boring compared to the fun of gaming. Over time, this will subtly encourage them to think twice about asking for the potty, as they’ll associate it with losing their precious playtime and having to do a task.

Step 3: Positive Reinforcement for Accidents

As your little becomes more absorbed in the game, they’ll likely start trying to hold it longer to avoid interruptions and chores. Inevitably, this will lead to them having little accidents in their pull-ups. When this happens, don’t scold or shame them. Instead, praise them sweetly for being so focused on their game.

Say something like, “Oh, sweetheart, you were so into your game you didn’t even notice, huh? That’s okay! That’s what your pull-ups are for!” Be gentle as you clean them up and maybe even offer a small reward, like an extra round of their favorite game or a sticker for being so ‘little.’

Step 4: Transitioning to Diapers

Once accidents become frequent, introduce the idea of moving back to diapers in a positive, non-threatening way. Hold up a cute diaper with playful designs and say something like, “Since you’ve been doing so well at being my little gamer, I thought you might like these! They’re softer and cozier, and you won’t have to worry about the potty at all anymore.”

Make it sound like a treat rather than a step backward. Emphasize how much easier and more comfortable it’ll be for them during long gaming sessions. By this point, their protests (if any) should be minimal.

[esotericalchemist]

𝟏𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 - 𝐆𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐔𝐩 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐈𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐲: 𝐔𝐧𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Masterlist this series - TikTok (Matrix of Destiny) - Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

This is part one of a 12-part series dedicated to helping you glow up using the wisdom of astrology. Each post will explore a different astrological house and its role in your journey of transformation.

In this post, we’re focusing on the first house—the house of self, appearance, and how you present yourself to the world. The first house is where your Ascendant sign resides, shaping your personality, physical traits, and first impressions. Glowing up your first house means enhancing your style, building self-confidence, and mastering the art of making an impact wherever you go.

𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆

For Aries Ascendants, glowing up starts with embracing the bold, dynamic energy that naturally radiates from your fiery first house. Ruled by Mars, the planet of action and drive, your presence carries a raw magnetism that commands attention and respect.

Appearance: Embracing Your Fierce Edge

As an Aries Ascendant, your natural energy is dynamic and assertive, and your appearance should reflect that vibrancy. Think bold yet uncomplicated—styles that let you move freely while making a statement.

Clothing: Experiment with sharp, tailored pieces like blazers or jackets paired with slim trousers or sleek skirts. Lean into colours like red, orange, or even monochrome black with bold accents. Activewear or athleisure-inspired outfits can also suit your energetic nature.

Accessories: Add one striking element to your look, such as a standout watch, leather boots, or a bold scarf. Choose items that feel purposeful rather than overly decorative.

Grooming: Aries thrives on simplicity and sharpness. Opt for a haircut or hairstyle that’s low-maintenance but impactful—think cropped, edgy, or sleek styles. A healthy, energised appearance is key, so prioritise skincare and physical health to radiate vitality.

Practical Step: Declutter your wardrobe and focus on pieces that make you feel powerful and authentic. Build a signature look around clean lines and bold accents.

Self-Confidence: Channelling Mars Energy

Confidence for Aries Ascendants comes from taking action and achieving goals. To glow up, focus on creating opportunities that allow you to demonstrate your courage and leadership.

Challenge Yourself: Aries thrives when striving for a goal. Set physical challenges like training for a race, learning a martial art, or improving your strength and stamina.

Speak Boldly: Practise expressing your ideas and opinions with clarity and conviction. Whether in meetings, social settings, or personal relationships, your confidence will grow as you assert yourself authentically.

Overcome Impulse: While boldness is your strength, balancing it with patience can elevate your confidence. Practise slowing down and thinking strategically before acting.

Practical Step: Set one actionable goal each week—whether personal, physical, or professional—and track your progress to reinforce your sense of achievement.

First Impressions: Magnetic and Courageous

Your Aries energy ensures people notice you right away, but fine-tuning your approach can make you even more compelling.

Body Language: Stand tall, make direct eye contact, and smile confidently. Your natural charisma will shine when paired with approachable gestures.

Control Your Pace: Aries Ascendants can sometimes rush through interactions. Practise slowing down your speech and listening more actively. This creates a balance between your bold energy and genuine connection.

Show Enthusiasm: Your excitement is contagious. Channel it into meaningful conversations and shared interests to leave a lasting positive impression.

Practical Step: Practise delivering a strong, calm introduction in front of a mirror or with a friend. Notice how small adjustments to your tone and body language can enhance your presence.

The Ascendant’s Role in Your Glow-Up

As an Aries Ascendant, your first house is ruled by Mars, making action and momentum key themes in your glow-up. To truly shine, focus on creating a life that reflects your pioneering spirit.

Stay Active: Incorporate physical activity into your daily routine to channel your energy positively. Activities like HIIT, running, or dance can keep you energised and sharp.

Initiate Projects: Whether at work or in your personal life, take the lead on initiatives that excite you. Your courage and drive will inspire others to follow suit.

Recharge Strategically: While you thrive on action, balance is crucial. Find active ways to relax, such as yoga, hiking, or creative hobbies that keep your energy flowing without burnout.

𝐓𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐔𝐒 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆

As a Taurus Ascendant, your glow-up is rooted in cultivating an aura of grounded elegance and inner stability. Ruled by Venus, the planet of beauty, pleasure, and harmony, you naturally exude a calm yet magnetic presence. The key to your glow-up lies in embracing your sensuality, practicality, and ability to create beauty in everything you do.

Appearance: Effortless Elegance and Timeless Style

Taurus Ascendants radiate a natural, earthy charm, and your style should reflect this combination of simplicity and sophistication. Your Venusian energy thrives on quality, comfort, and aesthetics that feel luxurious but approachable.

Clothing: Build a wardrobe around classic, well-tailored pieces in neutral or earthy tones, such as beige, forest green, or soft pastels. Fabrics like cashmere, silk, or linen appeal to your love of texture and quality.

Accessories: Choose accessories that are understated yet impactful—like a fine leather belt, a classic wristwatch, or a subtle yet elegant piece of jewellery. Focus on craftsmanship and durability.

Grooming: For Taurus Ascendants, a polished yet natural look works best. Whether it’s glowing, hydrated skin or a well-kept hairstyle, aim for looks that feel effortlessly refined rather than overdone.

Practical Step: Evaluate your wardrobe and grooming routine, investing in fewer but higher-quality items that make you feel grounded and confident every day.

Self-Confidence: Build Inner Security Through Consistency

Taurus Ascendants thrive on stability and dependability. To glow up your confidence, focus on habits and achievements that reinforce your sense of self-worth and inner security.

Routine Strength: Confidence for Taurus grows through consistency. Create daily habits that support your physical health, mental clarity, and emotional peace. This might include a skincare routine, regular exercise like yoga, or journaling your gratitude.

Celebrate Your Progress: Taurus Ascendants tend to overlook small wins. Make it a practice to acknowledge and reward yourself for even incremental progress—it builds the foundation for lasting self-assurance.

Ground Your Energy: When faced with challenges, your earthy energy allows you to remain steady. Lean into this strength by practising grounding techniques, such as deep breathing or spending time in nature.

Practical Step: Create a morning or evening routine that helps you feel centred and accomplished. Stick to it for 30 days to reinforce your confidence.

First Impressions: Calm, Collected, and Captivating

As a Taurus Ascendant, your natural calmness and reliability make a lasting impression. To enhance this, focus on adding subtle layers of charm and warmth to your interactions.

Body Language: Your steady demeanour is naturally attractive. Stand tall, smile gently, and move with deliberation. Avoid rushing, as your slower, more thoughtful energy leaves a stronger impact.

Speaking Style: Speak with a measured, soothing tone that reflects your grounded nature. Avoid overloading conversations with unnecessary detail—your words carry weight when they’re intentional.

Express Warmth: Your Venusian charm can sometimes come across as reserved. Add warmth by showing genuine interest in others, such as asking thoughtful questions or offering small compliments.

Practical Step: Practise speaking slowly and with intention. Record yourself and listen back to refine your tone and delivery, making it as confident and soothing as your presence.

The Ascendant’s Role in Your Glow-Up

As a Taurus Ascendant, your first house is ruled by Venus, which means your glow-up thrives on balance, beauty, and consistency. Your ability to combine practicality with indulgence makes you a role model for sustainable self-improvement.

Slow But Steady Wins: Unlike Aries Ascendants, who thrive on quick action, your glow-up is about building something lasting. Set long-term goals and work steadily toward them, knowing the results will be worth the wait.

Focus on the Senses: Taurus Ascendants are deeply connected to the physical world. Incorporate sensory experiences that uplift you—aromatherapy, cooking nourishing meals, or decorating your home with beautiful, calming elements.

Stay Grounded in Growth: While consistency is your strength, avoid getting stuck in comfort zones. Challenge yourself to step outside them occasionally, whether it’s trying a new style or pursuing a passion project.

𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆

As a Gemini Ascendant, your glow-up revolves around embracing your natural versatility, wit, and curiosity. Ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication and intellect, your charm lies in your quick thinking, youthful energy, and ability to adapt. Elevating your identity means sharpening your mental agility, refining your communication, and allowing your playful, vibrant spirit to shine.

Appearance: Express Your Playful, Versatile Style

Gemini Ascendants are known for their adaptable and eclectic nature, and your appearance should reflect your dynamic personality. Your style is all about variety and fun—mixing trends, experimenting with colours, and creating a look that’s as vibrant as your personality.

Clothing: Embrace versatility by curating a mix of wardrobe staples and statement pieces. Think layers, quirky patterns, or modern cuts that let you adapt to any occasion. You can pull off youthful, casual looks, like graphic tees paired with tailored trousers, or experiment with bright accessories to add personality to neutral outfits.

Accessories: Gemini thrives on detail. Add a playful touch with glasses, a patterned scarf, or jewellery that feels unique and lively. A bold bag or sleek trainers can also reflect your vibrant energy.

Grooming: A clean, fresh look suits your fast-moving lifestyle. Go for easy-to-maintain hairstyles or a skincare routine that keeps you glowing without too much effort.

Practical Step: Try capsule wardrobes or mix-and-match pieces to allow for flexibility and creativity. Gemini Ascendants love options!

Self-Confidence: Feed Your Curious, Brilliant Mind

Confidence for Gemini Ascendants is built through knowledge, connection, and self-expression. Your glow-up involves feeding your insatiable curiosity and sharpening your ability to communicate with charm and clarity.

Learn Something New: Gemini thrives on mental stimulation. Dive into a new hobby, learn a language, or take up a creative skill like writing or design. Expanding your knowledge gives you fresh energy and boosts self-assurance.

Social Mastery: Being around people fuels your confidence. Practice networking, joining clubs, or participating in group discussions. Sharing your ideas and engaging in conversations brings out your best self.

Balance Your Energy: While your mind is constantly buzzing, your glow-up includes learning to focus and avoid spreading yourself too thin. Mindfulness or journaling can help centre your energy.

Practical Step: Schedule time for intellectual exploration, whether it’s reading a thought-provoking book, attending a workshop, or watching inspiring documentaries.

First Impressions: Dynamic, Engaging, and Charismatic

As a Gemini Ascendant, you leave an impression with your lively, approachable energy. To glow up, enhance your ability to connect meaningfully while showcasing your wit and adaptability.

Body Language: Gemini energy is naturally animated. Use expressive gestures and maintain good eye contact to create an engaging presence. Avoid fidgeting or appearing distracted to keep your energy focused.

Speaking Style: Your gift of gab is a superpower. Practise clear, concise communication while letting your natural humour and curiosity shine. People are drawn to your clever observations and ability to keep a conversation light yet meaningful.

Be Curious About Others: Asking thoughtful questions not only showcases your intelligence but also deepens your connections. Balance talking and listening to make others feel valued.

Practical Step: Prepare a few open-ended questions or interesting anecdotes to share in social settings. This keeps you engaging and leaves a lasting impression.

The Ascendant’s Role in Your Glow-Up

As a Gemini Ascendant, your first house is ruled by Mercury, making communication, learning, and adaptability key to your glow-up. Elevating your identity involves embracing your multifaceted nature while refining how you channel your energy.

Stay Connected: Use technology, social media, or community groups to build networks that inspire and energise you. You glow when you’re part of a dynamic, interactive environment.

Refresh Regularly: Gemini thrives on change. Update your look, redecorate your space, or shift your routines to keep things feeling fresh and exciting.

Ground Your Energy: While variety is your strength, grounding yourself in a few key priorities will keep you focused and productive. A daily planner or to-do list can help you stay on track.

𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆

For Cancer Ascendants, glowing up involves embracing your nurturing, intuitive energy while balancing it with emotional strength and self-assuredness. Ruled by the Moon, the planet of emotions, you naturally exude warmth, sensitivity, and a quiet magnetism. Your glow-up lies in owning your empathetic nature while creating a presence that feels both comforting and empowered.

Appearance: Soft Yet Empowered Aesthetic

Cancer Ascendants are known for their gentle, nurturing energy, and your style should reflect a harmonious blend of softness and strength. Your Moon-ruled aura makes you well-suited for looks that feel timeless, comfortable, and emotionally expressive.

Clothing: Opt for fabrics that feel luxurious and comforting, like cotton, silk, or cashmere. Colours like white, silver, pastels, or soft blues resonate with your lunar energy, but don’t shy away from darker hues when you want to project authority. Flowing silhouettes paired with structured accents, such as a tailored blazer over a soft blouse, can reflect your balance of empathy and resilience.

Accessories: Pearl or silver jewellery aligns beautifully with your Moon-ruled energy. Minimalist pieces with sentimental value, such as heirlooms or symbolic charms, can amplify your connection to your roots.

Grooming: Go for a fresh, natural look with subtle highlights that enhance your features. Glowing skin and a soft, hydrated appearance complement your nurturing vibe. For hair, consider styles that are versatile yet polished, like a soft wave or sleek bob.

Practical Step: Introduce one or two signature pieces into your wardrobe or grooming routine that make you feel confident and emotionally connected—whether it’s a favourite scarf, a meaningful pendant, or a moisturiser that feels indulgent.

Self-Confidence: Build Emotional Resilience and Trust in Yourself

For Cancer Ascendants, confidence stems from feeling secure—both emotionally and physically. Your glow-up involves creating a strong foundation for yourself while using your natural empathy as a superpower.

Emotional Strength: Practise emotional boundaries. Your compassionate nature can lead to absorbing others’ emotions, so it’s important to prioritise self-care. Journaling, therapy, or meditation can help you process feelings and stay grounded.

Celebrate Your Intuition: Trust your instincts. You have a natural gift for reading situations and people, and leaning into this intuitive strength can boost your self-assurance.

Home as a Haven: Cancer Ascendants feel most confident when their personal space is comforting and uplifting. Curate a home environment that supports your growth, such as adding soothing colours, candles, or meaningful decor.

Practical Step: Set boundaries in one area of your life—whether it’s work, family, or friendships—and observe how it strengthens your emotional well-being and confidence.

First Impressions: Nurturing Yet Commanding Presence

Cancer Ascendants leave a lasting impression through their warmth and emotional depth. To glow up, enhance your ability to project strength alongside your nurturing energy.

Body Language: Stand tall, maintain gentle eye contact, and offer a warm smile. Your ability to make others feel seen and cared for is magnetic, but strong posture reinforces your confidence.

Speaking Style: Your communication is naturally heartfelt and empathetic. To enhance it, practise expressing your thoughts with clarity and confidence, especially in situations where you might normally shy away.

Balance Vulnerability and Strength: Show your emotional depth while maintaining an air of self-assurance. Sharing personal insights is powerful, but pair it with decisive actions or solutions to leave an impression of quiet leadership.

Practical Step: Practise speaking up in a safe setting, such as with close friends or in small group discussions. Gradually build the habit of expressing your needs and ideas confidently.

The Ascendant’s Role in Your Glow-Up

As a Cancer Ascendant, your first house is ruled by the Moon, making emotional well-being and self-nurturing central to your glow-up. To fully embody your potential, focus on aligning your sensitive, nurturing energy with a sense of inner security.

Cycle with the Moon: Your ruler, the Moon, goes through phases, and so do you. Use the lunar cycle as a guide—set intentions during the New Moon and reflect during the Full Moon. This can help you feel in sync with your natural rhythms.

Embrace Change: Cancer Ascendants can cling to comfort zones, but growth often requires stepping into the unknown. Challenge yourself to try something new, like a different hobby, style, or social activity.

Nurture Yourself First: While you’re skilled at caring for others, prioritise self-care to maintain balance. A relaxed bath, cooking your favourite meal, or spending time alone can recharge your energy.

𝐋𝐄𝐎 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆

For Leo Ascendants, glowing up is about fully embracing your radiant, regal energy and sharing it confidently with the world. Ruled by the Sun, the centre of the solar system, you have a natural ability to command attention and inspire others. Your glow-up lies in refining your self-expression, embracing your inner star, and radiating warmth and charisma.

Appearance: Shine with Boldness and Elegance

Leo Ascendants have a natural flair for dramatic, attention-grabbing looks. Whether your style is classic, trendy, or avant-garde, your glow-up involves showcasing your unique personality with confidence and creativity.

Clothing: Incorporate bold and luxurious elements into your wardrobe. Rich colours like gold, orange, crimson, or jewel tones reflect your fiery nature, while standout patterns and well-tailored pieces highlight your regal energy. Don’t shy away from a statement blazer, dramatic cape, or a perfectly fitted dress or suit.

Accessories: Think big and bold—chunky gold jewellery, oversized sunglasses, or a signature hat can amplify your presence. Anything that exudes confidence and makes you feel like royalty is a must.

Grooming: As a Leo Ascendant, your hair is your crowning glory. Whether you opt for sleek and polished or wild and voluminous, find a hairstyle that makes you feel powerful. Glowing, healthy skin is also key—consider a skincare routine that enhances your natural radiance.

Practical Step: Create a “signature look” that makes you feel like your most confident self. This could be as simple as adding a bold accessory or as transformative as a haircut that turns heads.

Self-Confidence: Own the Spotlight

For Leo Ascendants, confidence is your birthright. To glow up, it’s about stepping fully into your role as a leader and recognising the value you bring to any space.

Celebrate Your Wins: Leos thrive on acknowledgment. Regularly take stock of your accomplishments—big or small—and don’t be afraid to share them with others.

Practise Positive Self-Talk: Your ruler, the Sun, shines brightly without hesitation. Remind yourself daily of your strengths and unique qualities to keep your inner light strong.

Channel Your Creativity: Whether it’s art, writing, performance, or problem-solving, expressing yourself creatively is vital for your confidence. Dive into hobbies or projects that allow your talents to shine.

Practical Step: Start a “praise jar” or journal where you write down compliments or achievements you’ve received. Read them whenever you need a confidence boost.

First Impressions: Charismatic and Warm

As a Leo Ascendant, you have a natural magnetism that draws people in. To enhance your glow-up, focus on refining your ability to connect with others through warmth and authenticity.

Body Language: Stand tall, make eye contact, and smile genuinely. Your natural charisma is amplified when your posture radiates confidence and approachability.

Speaking Style: Speak with passion and conviction. Your voice carries weight, so let your enthusiasm shine in conversations, but remember to balance it by being an attentive listener.

Add a Personal Touch: Leos are known for their generosity. Compliment others, share uplifting stories, or offer encouragement to leave a memorable impression.

Practical Step: Practise delivering a strong introduction or story. Use it in social or professional settings to captivate your audience and build connections.

The Ascendant’s Role in Your Glow-Up

As a Leo Ascendant, your first house is ruled by the Sun, making self-expression, creativity, and leadership the cornerstones of your glow-up. Fully embracing your natural talents and taking up space in the world will help you shine brighter.

Step into Leadership: Whether it’s at work, in social circles, or personal projects, take the lead. Your confidence and charisma inspire others, making you a natural leader.

Create a Routine That Fuels You: Start your day with activities that boost your energy—like affirmations, exercise, or creative tasks. A strong morning routine sets the tone for your success.

Embrace Recognition: Leos often shy away from the attention they crave. Allow yourself to be acknowledged and appreciated for your efforts—you’ve earned it.

𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐆𝐎 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆

As a Virgo Ascendant, your glow-up lies in refining your natural precision, intellect, and grounded energy. Ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication and analysis, you bring a thoughtful, detail-oriented approach to everything you do. Elevating your identity means embracing your natural elegance, sharpening your skills, and radiating a quiet confidence that’s both calming and inspiring.

Appearance: Polished, Minimalist, and Timeless

Virgo Ascendants are known for their understated beauty and an eye for detail. Your style should reflect your appreciation for clean lines, high-quality fabrics, and subtle sophistication.

Clothing: Build a wardrobe of timeless essentials—well-fitted trousers, crisp button-down shirts, tailored blazers, or chic dresses in neutral tones like beige, white, grey, or navy. Avoid overly flashy styles and instead focus on pieces that exude quiet confidence.

Accessories: Subtle yet meaningful pieces, such as a classic leather bag, minimalist jewellery, or a vintage timepiece, align with your refined aesthetic. Choose items that feel both functional and elegant.

Grooming: A polished and fresh look suits your meticulous nature. Invest in a skincare routine for radiant, healthy skin, and opt for hairstyles that are neat and low-maintenance. Keep nails clean and tidy, as small details matter to Virgo energy.

Practical Step: Take inventory of your wardrobe and grooming habits. Focus on decluttering and replacing anything that feels worn out or out of alignment with your polished aesthetic.

Self-Confidence: Embrace Your Inner Perfectionist

For Virgo Ascendants, confidence grows through competence. You feel most assured when you’ve mastered a skill or organised your environment. To glow up, focus on celebrating your strengths while softening your inner critic.

Cultivate Your Skills: Virgo thrives on self-improvement. Whether it’s honing a professional skill, mastering a hobby, or learning a new system, growing your competence in something meaningful boosts your confidence.

Let Go of Perfectionism: While you naturally aim for excellence, remind yourself that progress matters more than perfection. Learn to celebrate your efforts rather than waiting for everything to be flawless.

Prioritise Self-Care: Virgo Ascendants often prioritise helping others over themselves. Building confidence means treating yourself with the same care you extend to others. Create routines that nourish your body and mind.

Practical Step: Set a goal to master a skill or complete a small project in the next month. Break it into manageable steps and track your progress for a sense of achievement.

First Impressions: Poised, Thoughtful, and Reliable

As a Virgo Ascendant, you naturally exude an air of reliability and thoughtfulness. To glow up, enhance this impression by combining your calm, analytical energy with warmth and approachability.

Body Language: Maintain open posture and steady eye contact to convey confidence. Avoid fidgeting or appearing too reserved; instead, practise standing tall with an air of calm authority.

Speaking Style: Virgo Ascendants are often precise in their communication. Use your natural clarity to express yourself with confidence, but soften your delivery with a touch of warmth and humour when appropriate.

Showcase Your Practical Side: Virgo energy shines when offering helpful insights or thoughtful solutions. Use your talents to support and connect with others, leaving an impression of both competence and kindness.

Practical Step: Practise delivering your thoughts concisely and with assurance. Record yourself speaking about a topic you love to refine your tone and presence.

The Ascendant’s Role in Your Glow-Up

As a Virgo Ascendant, your first house is ruled by Mercury, making attention to detail, clear communication, and personal refinement the pillars of your glow-up.

Organise Your Life: Virgo thrives on order. Whether it’s decluttering your space, setting up a productive routine, or creating a meal plan, a sense of structure will elevate your daily life.

Focus on Health: Your rising sign is deeply connected to health and wellness. Commit to a self-care practice that includes balanced nutrition, regular movement, and mindfulness techniques like yoga or journaling.

Express Your Practical Wisdom: Your ability to analyse and improve systems is a strength. Share your insights with others through mentoring, teaching, or simply lending a helping hand.

𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐑𝐀 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆

For Libra Ascendants, glowing up is about embracing your natural charm, elegance, and gift for creating harmony. Ruled by Venus, the planet of beauty and relationships, your presence is magnetic, refined, and captivating. Your glow-up involves enhancing your appearance, cultivating balance in your life, and strengthening your ability to connect with others in meaningful ways.

Appearance: Timeless Sophistication with a Creative Twist

Libra Ascendants have an innate sense of style and a natural eye for aesthetics. Your glow-up lies in refining your look to reflect your polished, harmonious energy while allowing your creativity to shine.

Clothing: Focus on elegant, well-tailored pieces that feel both balanced and unique. Soft, romantic colours like pastels, blush pink, lavender, or neutral tones suit your Venus-ruled energy. Experiment with flowing fabrics, tailored blazers, or chic dresses and suits that exude effortless grace.

Accessories: Choose understated yet refined pieces like pearl earrings, a delicate bracelet, or a stylish scarf. Subtle patterns, symmetry, and polished finishes will complement your natural sense of balance.

Grooming: For Libra Ascendants, a radiant, polished look is key. Opt for hairstyles that are sleek and symmetrical, and focus on achieving glowing, hydrated skin. Grooming habits that enhance your natural beauty will leave a lasting impression.

Practical Step: Experiment with a capsule wardrobe to highlight your best pieces and create a cohesive style that feels effortlessly elegant.

Self-Confidence: Balance Inner and Outer Harmony

For Libra Ascendants, confidence comes from aligning your inner self with your outer world. Your glow-up involves strengthening your sense of self-worth and learning to assert yourself in a way that feels authentic.

Celebrate Your Diplomacy: Libra Ascendants are natural mediators. Recognise and embrace your ability to create harmony in relationships and environments—it’s a unique strength.

Assert Your Needs: While you excel at supporting others, your glow-up requires speaking up for yourself. Practise setting boundaries and expressing your desires with confidence and grace.

Find Inner Balance: Meditation, yoga, or journaling can help you stay grounded and connected to your inner voice. When you feel balanced internally, your natural charm shines even brighter.

Practical Step: Set a goal to practise saying “no” or advocating for yourself in one situation each week. Reflect on how it feels to honour your needs.

First Impressions: Graceful, Approachable, and Magnetic

As a Libra Ascendant, your natural charisma and social ease make you instantly likable. To glow up, refine how you connect with others and ensure your warmth feels authentic and intentional.

Body Language: Use open, welcoming gestures and maintain gentle eye contact to create a sense of approachability. Avoid crossing your arms or appearing distant—your charm is amplified through connection.

Speaking Style: Speak with clarity and a touch of diplomacy. Your ability to find the right words in any situation is a gift, but be mindful of speaking authentically rather than just pleasing others.

Show Your Warmth: Libra Ascendants shine when they uplift others. Compliment someone’s outfit, acknowledge their ideas, or offer encouragement—it highlights your natural kindness.

Practical Step: Practise engaging in active listening during conversations. Reflect back what others say to deepen connections and leave a lasting impression.

The Ascendant’s Role in Your Glow-Up

As a Libra Ascendant, your first house is ruled by Venus, making beauty, relationships, and harmony the key themes of your glow-up. Elevating your identity involves creating balance in your external and internal worlds.

Create a Beautiful Environment: Your surroundings greatly influence your mood. Spend time decluttering and decorating your space with harmonious colours, fresh flowers, or meaningful artwork to elevate your energy.

Strengthen Relationships: As a Libra Ascendant, you’re naturally drawn to partnerships. Invest in healthy connections and let go of relationships that feel one-sided or draining.

Prioritise Self-Love: While you excel at making others feel valued, your glow-up requires prioritising your own needs and desires. Treat yourself to something that makes you feel special, whether it’s a self-care ritual or a creative pursuit.

𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆

As a Scorpio Ascendant, your glow-up revolves around fully embodying your magnetic, transformative energy. Ruled by Mars and Pluto, the planets of drive and transformation, you have a natural intensity and depth that captivates and commands attention. Your glow-up lies in refining this power, embracing your mysterious aura, and using your transformative energy to create an identity that feels authentic and unshakable.

Appearance: Mysterious, Bold, and Unforgettable

Scorpio Ascendants naturally exude a sense of intrigue and magnetism. Your glow-up involves leaning into this mysterious energy while adding subtle elements that enhance your commanding presence.

Clothing: Embrace dark, rich colours like black, deep red, burgundy, or midnight blue to reflect your intensity. Tailored, form-fitting pieces with clean lines create a powerful silhouette. Leather jackets, sleek dresses, or well-structured suits resonate with your transformative energy.

Accessories: Opt for bold but minimal statement pieces, such as a striking ring, a pendant with personal symbolism, or a sleek leather bag. Subtle but eye-catching details, like textured fabrics or metallic accents, align with your Scorpio vibe.

Grooming: Focus on a look that’s polished and alluring without being overly flashy. Consider hairstyles that are sharp and clean or long and dramatic. Healthy, glowing skin with a hint of edge—like a bold lip or smoky eyes—can emphasise your natural allure.

Practical Step: Simplify your wardrobe to include pieces that make you feel powerful and confident. Choose outfits that subtly emphasise your strength and mystery.

Self-Confidence: Harness Your Inner Power

For Scorpio Ascendants, confidence comes from transformation and authenticity. Your glow-up requires embracing your depth and intensity while learning to channel it constructively.

Own Your Emotions: Scorpio thrives on emotional depth. Confidence for you grows when you embrace your feelings rather than suppressing them. Use journaling or therapy to process emotions and channel them into personal growth.

Step into Your Power: Recognise your resilience and ability to transform challenges into strengths. Reflect on times when you’ve overcome obstacles and use those memories to fuel your confidence.

Let Go of Control: While you naturally seek control, your glow-up involves learning to trust the process. Release the need to micromanage outcomes and embrace the flow of life.

Practical Step: Identify one area in your life where you can let go of control and trust the process. Notice how it frees up energy for personal growth.

First Impressions: Magnetic and Intense

As a Scorpio Ascendant, your presence is naturally magnetic and enigmatic. To glow up, focus on refining this intensity to ensure it feels empowering rather than intimidating.

Body Language: Maintain steady eye contact and a calm posture. Your presence is commanding without trying too hard—avoid fidgeting or rushed movements.

Speaking Style: Speak with intention and confidence. Your words carry weight, so practise pausing for emphasis and letting your voice reflect your quiet strength.

Be Selectively Vulnerable: While mystery is your strength, showing occasional vulnerability can deepen connections. Sharing meaningful insights or emotions in a safe setting can enhance your authenticity.

Practical Step: Practise speaking deliberately and making eye contact in social settings. Observe how your presence naturally draws others in.

The Ascendant’s Role in Your Glow-Up

As a Scorpio Ascendant, your first house is ruled by Mars and Pluto, making transformation, passion, and authenticity the key themes of your glow-up. Elevating your identity involves fully embracing your depth while learning to channel it in a way that uplifts you and inspires others.

Embrace Transformation: You thrive on growth and reinvention. Use this energy to let go of outdated habits, relationships, or patterns and embrace new beginnings.

Create a Ritual for Renewal: Whether it’s a monthly decluttering session, a journaling practice, or meditation during a New Moon, regular rituals can help you feel grounded and empowered.

Dive into Your Passions: Scorpio Ascendants are most confident when pursuing what they’re passionate about. Dedicate time to hobbies, causes, or goals that ignite your soul.

𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆

For Sagittarius Ascendants, glowing up is about embracing your adventurous, optimistic spirit while refining your natural charisma and expanding your horizons. Ruled by Jupiter, the planet of growth and abundance, you exude a magnetic enthusiasm and love for exploration. Your glow-up lies in embodying your free-spirited energy while cultivating focus, wisdom, and a polished yet adventurous appearance.

Appearance: Adventurous with a Dash of Effortless Elegance

Sagittarius Ascendants are naturally drawn to styles that are practical, versatile, and expressive of their love for freedom. Your glow-up involves balancing casual, travel-ready looks with elements of sophistication that showcase your worldly energy.

Clothing: Think relaxed yet stylish. Tailored trousers paired with casual tops, flowing maxi dresses, or versatile jumpsuits reflect your ease and adaptability. Rich, earthy tones like deep green, navy, mustard, and warm browns suit your Jupiter-ruled energy, while bold patterns, like paisley or tribal prints, express your adventurous side.

Accessories: Go for travel-inspired or statement pieces, like a leather crossbody bag, a scarf collected from a memorable trip, or jewellery with global influences. A wide-brim hat or trendy sneakers can add a touch of personality while remaining functional.

Grooming: Keep it natural and low-maintenance but radiant. Soft waves, tousled hair, or a sun-kissed glow align with your carefree vibe. Prioritise skincare and simple grooming routines that are easy to maintain on the go.

Practical Step: Revamp your wardrobe with versatile pieces that transition effortlessly between casual and polished, perfect for your on-the-move lifestyle.

Self-Confidence: Expand Your Horizons

Sagittarius Ascendants thrive on growth, exploration, and learning. Your glow-up involves embracing your adventurous spirit while building confidence through wisdom and meaningful experiences.

Pursue Knowledge: Confidence for Sagittarius comes from broadening your understanding of the world. Dive into books, take courses, or explore new cultures to fuel your thirst for learning.

Set Bold Goals: Your Jupiter energy thrives on ambition. Whether it’s planning a trip, learning a new language, or tackling a big career move, aim for goals that excite and challenge you.

Practice Presence: While you love looking ahead, grounding yourself in the present moment builds focus and balance. Meditation or journaling can help anchor your enthusiasm.

Practical Step: Choose one area of life where you want to expand your skills or knowledge. Commit to learning something new, such as a creative hobby, a sport, or a philosophical concept.

First Impressions: Energetic, Inspiring, and Approachable

As a Sagittarius Ascendant, your natural optimism and enthusiasm make you instantly likeable. To glow up, refine your ability to inspire and connect with others on a deeper level.

Body Language: Use open, expansive gestures to convey your enthusiasm and positivity. Avoid overly fidgety or rushed movements, and embrace a relaxed but confident posture.

Speaking Style: Your storytelling ability is one of your superpowers. Practise sharing your experiences in a way that feels authentic and engaging, but remember to listen as much as you speak to build deeper connections.

Share Your Vision: Sagittarius Ascendants are natural motivators. Talk about your passions, travels, or dreams with others to leave an uplifting and memorable impression.

Practical Step: Prepare a few personal stories or insights that highlight your adventurous nature. Use these in conversations to share your unique perspective and connect with others.

The Ascendant’s Role in Your Glow-Up

As a Sagittarius Ascendant, your first house is ruled by Jupiter, making growth, abundance, and exploration central to your glow-up. Elevating your identity involves fully embracing your adventurous spirit while cultivating discipline and purpose.

Embrace Adventure: Plan experiences that align with your free-spirited energy, such as solo trips, outdoor activities, or cultural exchanges. Each new experience fuels your confidence.

Balance Freedom and Responsibility: While you thrive on spontaneity, structure is key to maintaining progress. Create systems that allow for flexibility without sacrificing focus.

Inspire Others: Share your optimistic outlook with those around you. Whether through teaching, mentoring, or simply encouraging others, your positivity is contagious.

𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆

As a Capricorn Ascendant, your glow-up revolves around embodying your natural authority, ambition, and grounded energy. Ruled by Saturn, the planet of discipline and structure, you have an inherent sense of responsibility and a quiet, commanding presence. Your glow-up lies in refining your classic style, cultivating unshakable confidence, and mastering the balance between work and self-care.

Appearance: Sophisticated, Polished, and Timeless

Capricorn Ascendants have a natural affinity for a clean, structured, and professional aesthetic. Your glow-up involves enhancing your appearance with quality pieces and a well-groomed look that exudes confidence and competence.

Clothing: Focus on tailored, structured outfits that convey professionalism and authority. Classic staples like well-fitted blazers, trousers, pencil skirts, and trench coats in neutral tones (black, grey, navy, or beige) align with your Saturn-ruled energy. Incorporate high-quality materials like wool, leather, or silk for a refined touch.

Accessories: Choose minimal yet impactful pieces—think a sleek leather bag, a classic watch, or understated jewellery. Capricorn energy thrives on practicality, so your accessories should balance function with elegance.

Grooming: A neat, polished look suits your professional vibe. Consider timeless hairstyles, such as a clean cut, sleek ponytail, or soft waves. For skincare, aim for a healthy, matte finish that enhances your natural beauty.

Practical Step: Assess your wardrobe for outdated or ill-fitting items and invest in a few high-quality staples that elevate your overall look.

Self-Confidence: Build Resilience and Embrace Leadership

For Capricorn Ascendants, confidence comes from a sense of achievement and self-discipline. Your glow-up involves stepping into your role as a natural leader while building resilience through structure and perseverance.

Set Tangible Goals: Your Saturn energy thrives on progress and accomplishment. Break down long-term aspirations into achievable steps and track your successes.

Celebrate Progress, Not Just Results: While you’re often focused on the end goal, recognising small wins along the way boosts your confidence and keeps you motivated.

Embrace Responsibility: Capricorn Ascendants naturally take charge. Lean into leadership roles at work, in relationships, or in personal projects—it’s where your confidence truly shines.

Practical Step: Choose one area of your life to set a measurable goal, such as a fitness milestone, a professional target, or a financial achievement. Celebrate every step toward completion.

First Impressions: Professional, Grounded, and Dependable

As a Capricorn Ascendant, you naturally project an air of competence and reliability. To glow up, enhance your ability to connect with others while maintaining your composed and authoritative presence.

Body Language: Stand tall, maintain steady eye contact, and use deliberate gestures to convey confidence. Avoid crossing your arms or appearing rigid—your warmth can shine through subtle expressions of openness.

Speaking Style: Your words carry weight, so use your natural authority to speak clearly and confidently. Practise expressing your ideas with conviction while remaining approachable.

Share Your Vision: Capricorn Ascendants inspire others by demonstrating focus and drive. Talk about your aspirations or the values that guide you to leave a strong, memorable impression.

Practical Step: Practise introducing yourself in a way that conveys your confidence and ambition. Record and refine your delivery to ensure it feels natural and empowering.

The Ascendant’s Role in Your Glow-Up

As a Capricorn Ascendant, your first house is ruled by Saturn, making discipline, structure, and responsibility the key themes of your glow-up. Elevating your identity involves balancing your drive for success with self-care and personal growth.

Create a Sustainable Routine: Capricorn thrives on structure. Build daily habits that support your health, career, and personal goals, and stick to them consistently.

Invest in Long-Term Success: Your energy is built for the long haul. Focus on efforts that create lasting results, whether it’s financial planning, skill development, or cultivating meaningful relationships.

Prioritise Self-Care: While you’re driven by work and achievement, your glow-up requires balance. Dedicate time to relaxing activities like reading, yoga, or nature walks to recharge your energy.

𝐀𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆

As an Aquarius Ascendant, your glow-up revolves around embracing your unique, forward-thinking spirit while refining your ability to connect with others and inspire change. Ruled by Saturn and Uranus, you have a dual nature—structured yet innovative, practical yet rebellious. Your glow-up lies in enhancing your distinctive style, building confidence through authenticity, and using your visionary energy to make a lasting impression.

Appearance: Individualistic and Effortlessly Cool

Aquarius Ascendants have a natural flair for originality. Your glow-up involves leaning into your eclectic style while ensuring it feels polished and intentional.

Clothing: Experiment with unconventional cuts, bold patterns, or futuristic details that reflect your progressive energy. Colours like electric blue, silver, and deep purple resonate with your Uranian vibe, while monochrome or neutral palettes keep it grounded in Saturn's influence. Layering with edgy jackets, oversized pieces, or asymmetrical designs can add depth to your look.

Accessories: Choose unique statement pieces that reflect your individuality—chunky jewellery, geometric patterns, or quirky sunglasses. Opt for accessories that feel modern, tech-inspired, or avant-garde.

Grooming: Aquarius Ascendants suit hairstyles that are a little unconventional, whether it’s a bold cut, playful colour, or natural texture. Keep your skincare routine fresh and minimal, focusing on a clean and radiant finish.

Practical Step: Identify one bold piece—whether it’s clothing, an accessory, or a hairstyle—that makes you feel like your most authentic self. Incorporate it into your everyday look.

Self-Confidence: Embrace Your Authenticity

For Aquarius Ascendants, confidence comes from fully owning your unique perspective and individuality. Your glow-up involves leaning into your eccentricities while building connections through shared ideals and innovation.

Celebrate Your Uniqueness: Recognise that your unconventional approach is your strength. Confidence for Aquarius Ascendants grows when you embrace what makes you different instead of conforming to societal norms.

Engage in Intellectual Growth: Your ruler, Uranus, thrives on discovery. Dive into topics that excite you—whether it’s technology, social causes, or futuristic concepts. Sharing your knowledge with others will boost your self-assurance.

Build a Supportive Network: Aquarius Ascendants feel most confident when surrounded by like-minded individuals who value their vision. Cultivate a community that uplifts and inspires you.

Practical Step: Identify one area where you’ve been holding back your true self—whether it’s your style, your ideas, or your passions—and take a bold step to express it fully.

First Impressions: Magnetic, Intellectual, and Visionary

As an Aquarius Ascendant, you naturally draw people in with your forward-thinking ideas and approachable charm. To glow up, refine how you share your vision and connect with others.

Body Language: Use open gestures and maintain an approachable stance. Your natural charisma is amplified when you blend your intellectual energy with warmth.

Speaking Style: Your ability to think outside the box is magnetic. Speak with clarity and confidence about your ideas, but stay mindful of balancing intellectual depth with relatability.

Lead with Curiosity: Aquarius Ascendants shine when they make others feel seen and heard. Ask thoughtful questions and share insights that inspire deeper conversations.

Practical Step: Practise introducing yourself in a way that highlights your passions and ideals. This sets the stage for meaningful connections and leaves a lasting impression.

The Ascendant’s Role in Your Glow-Up

As an Aquarius Ascendant, your first house is ruled by Saturn and Uranus, making innovation, individuality, and structure central to your glow-up. Elevating your identity involves balancing your visionary energy with grounded action.

Innovate Your Daily Life: Embrace routines or tools that align with your love for technology and efficiency—whether it’s a new app, a smart home device, or a productivity system.

Champion a Cause: Your humanitarian side thrives when you’re working toward a goal bigger than yourself. Volunteer, organise, or join a group that aligns with your ideals.

Stay Open to Change: Your Uranian influence makes you adaptable to new ideas and situations. Use this to your advantage by exploring unexpected opportunities that align with your growth.

𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆

As a Pisces Ascendant, your glow-up is all about embracing your dreamlike, compassionate energy while cultivating boundaries and confidence. Ruled by Jupiter and Neptune, you exude a gentle, ethereal presence that draws people in. Your glow-up lies in refining your appearance to reflect your inner mystique, building emotional resilience, and fully stepping into your creative and intuitive power.

Appearance: Ethereal, Artistic, and Fluid

Pisces Ascendants have a natural affinity for soft, flowing aesthetics that reflect their otherworldly charm. Your glow-up involves leaning into styles that highlight your dreamy, creative energy while ensuring they remain practical and balanced.

Clothing: Opt for flowing silhouettes, soft fabrics like chiffon or silk, and muted, oceanic colours such as seafoam green, lavender, or pastel blues. Play with layers, ruffles, or bohemian elements that evoke a sense of mystery and romance.

Accessories: Choose pieces that feel meaningful or artistic, like delicate jewellery, moonstone rings, or scarves with celestial patterns. Incorporate accessories that resonate with your imaginative side—perhaps vintage finds or handmade items.

Grooming: A fresh, dewy look suits your Pisces energy. Focus on skincare that enhances your natural glow, and opt for soft hairstyles or waves that feel effortless. Subtle, shimmering makeup or a touch of natural blush can emphasise your ethereal charm.

Practical Step: Update your wardrobe with a few statement pieces that feel artistic and fluid—clothing or accessories that express your dreamy, imaginative side.

Self-Confidence: Embrace Your Creativity and Compassion

For Pisces Ascendants, confidence stems from connecting with your inner world and expressing your innate creativity and empathy. Your glow-up involves strengthening your emotional resilience and fully honouring your unique talents.

Tap Into Your Creativity: Your Neptune-ruled energy thrives on artistic expression. Whether it’s painting, writing, music, or dance, engage in creative outlets that allow you to channel your emotions and imagination.

Set Boundaries with Kindness: Your compassionate nature sometimes leaves you vulnerable to others’ energy. Strengthen your confidence by learning to say “no” when needed and prioritising your own well-being.

Celebrate Your Intuition: Trust your instincts—they’re one of your greatest gifts. Whether in decision-making or in relationships, your inner guidance is often spot-on.

Practical Step: Dedicate time each week to a creative or meditative practice that allows you to reconnect with yourself and recharge your energy.

First Impressions: Gentle, Intuitive, and Captivating

As a Pisces Ascendant, your natural sensitivity and empathy make people feel at ease. To glow up, focus on refining your ability to connect deeply while projecting confidence and self-assurance.

Body Language: Maintain an open, relaxed posture and a soft, welcoming gaze. Your approachable energy is magnetic when paired with confident body language.

Speaking Style: Your voice carries a soothing quality. Practise speaking with clarity and purpose while allowing your natural warmth to shine through.

Share Your Depth: Pisces Ascendants shine when they share their creativity or insights with others. Talk about your passions, dreams, or artistic projects to leave a lasting impression.

Practical Step: Practise grounding techniques, like deep breathing, before entering social settings to ensure your gentle energy feels focused and self-assured.

The Ascendant’s Role in Your Glow-Up

As a Pisces Ascendant, your first house is ruled by Jupiter and Neptune, making compassion, intuition, and imagination the key themes of your glow-up. Elevating your identity involves embracing your sensitivity while creating firm foundations for emotional and spiritual growth.

Create a Dreamy Environment: Surround yourself with beauty and calm, whether through decor, soothing lighting, or music. Your environment significantly impacts your mood and creativity.

Balance Dreaming with Doing: While your imagination is boundless, your glow-up involves grounding your dreams into reality. Set actionable steps to bring your ideas to life.

Engage in Spiritual Practices: Pisces Ascendants often feel connected to something greater. Meditation, yoga, or journaling can help you align with your intuition and inner peace.

Masterlist this series - TikTok (Matrix of Destiny) - Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

[nenelonomh]

eat the frog (time management)

"eat the frog" is a popular time management technique that comes from a quote attributed to mark twain: "eat a live frog first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day." in the context of productivity, the "frog" represents your most challenging or important task of the day—the one you're most likely to procrastinate on.

how to implement the "eat the frog" technique:

identify your frog: at the start of each day, determine the most crucial task you need to accomplish. this should be something that has a significant impact on your goals but may not be the most enjoyable or easy task.

tackle it first: instead of putting it off, focus on completing this task before anything else. by tackling it first, you can get it out of the way and prevent procrastination.

break it down: if the task seems overwhelming, break it into smaller, manageable steps. this makes it less daunting and allows you to make steady progress.

avoid distractions: minimize distractions while you're working on your "frog." turn off notifications, close unnecessary tabs, and create a focused work environment.

reward yourself: once you've completed the task, reward yourself with a break or something enjoyable. this positive reinforcement can help build a habit of tackling challenging tasks first.

why it's effective:

reduces procrastination: by tackling the hardest task first, you eliminate the temptation to procrastinate and delay important work.

boosts productivity: completing a significant task early in the day can give you a sense of accomplishment and momentum to tackle the rest of your to-do list.

improves focus: knowing that you have to address the most important task first can sharpen your focus and attention.

stress reduction: getting the most daunting task out of the way can reduce stress and mental burden, making the rest of the day feel more manageable.

remember, the key is to prioritize your most important tasks and tackle them head-on. if you have any specific tasks in mind or need help with prioritizing, feel free to share!

i hope this post is helpful! ❤️nene

instagram | pinterest | blog site

[strwberri-milk]

How would the lads boys react to a reader that is touch starved but is to shy to initiate physical contact (at the beginning) cuz she’s afraid of making them uncomfortable ?

Zayne doesn't initiate physical contact often either on account of just being a little too busy to be cuddly. He will hold your hand your or put his arm around your waist - showing you affection in socially acceptable ways because that's just how he shows affection. He isn't one to pull you into an intense kiss in the middle of the street - that's reserved for dark alleyways or the car on your way home.

He just thinks you're the same, not realising that it's a need you have. You'd have to communicate it with him or else he won't understand that you want him to initiate more contact. He doesn't mind holding you whenever he feels the need to or kissing your cheek and would assume that you'd do the same as he's never expressed not liking your attention.

Once you confide in him, telling him that you're just worried about making him uncomfortable he won't understand it at all. He reassures you that you'd never bother him, wanting you to reach out to him whenever you feel like you need him. It makes him feel needed by you as well, something he definitely appreciates because he wants you to find comfort in him.

Xavier can sense your unease because he sees how you always seem to hesitate whenever you touch him. He doesn't understand why you're acting like that but decides to continue observing just for now. When he determines it's a habit you have he'll ask you why you don't just touch him or hold him or kiss him whenever you want without seeming so nervous. He's worried he's somehow scared you off, made you feel like you shouldn't reach out to him for comfort.

You have to vehemently deny that statement, now feeling a little bad that you made Xavier think that he did something wrong. Thankfully, he's not going to dwell on it too long, telling you that he wants you to reach out and initiate physical contact whenever you feel the need to. He likes it when you're affectionate with him and wants you to do it more often, egging you on by responding with a little more enthusiasm than normal to reinforce the positive behaviour. You laugh a little at how obvious he's trying to make it, knowing he's doing it for your benefit, especially when he normally isn't this emotive in day to day things.

Rafayel is incredibly affectionate so for the most part, you don't find yourself needing too much of his attention since he usually gives all of it to you unprompted. The times you need to seek him out would be when he's deep into an art piece since he tends to forget everything. He'll still greet you with a kiss if you enter the room and hug you tightly to recharge his batteries but it's not nearly as much as he normally subjects you to, making you miss him a little bit more.

He notices you hanging around in the studio a little aimlessly, raising a brow at you. He decides to see what you're doing while he waits for his layers to dry, seeing you just sort of wandering until he calls you over. You practically bound over, looking at him expectantly. He doesn't get it quite yet, looking at you with mild confusion but also loving how adorably you're looking up at him.

It'll take him a second to realise you're waiting for him to shower you in attention the way he normally would, pulling you into his lap and letting you bury your face into his neck. He realises how much he's been neglecting you now, apologising and telling you that you can always make him give you attention. He loves you and would do anything for you, reinforcing the fact that he wants you to shower him in attention too whenever you feel like it. It makes him feel loved too and when you finally start doing it he'll overreact a little, practically melting at your touch because of his adoration for you.

Sylus can tell you have an aversion to initiating physical touch so he decides to make his cues for you more obvious. He'll look at you a little longer, opening an arm for you to crawl into his lap or come to his side to have a kiss pressed to your cheek. He doesn't mind initiating the physical contact this way because it clearly makes you more comfortable.

Over time with his patience you'll start to pick up on the fact that he's trying to acclimate you to initiating more physical contact. It works though, which you're glad about as you realise your nervousness around giving him physical affection is beginning to become far more manageable. He always leans into your touch whenever you initiate no matter where or what you're doing, thanking you in that smooth voice of his as he presses a kiss to your lips.

[marauder-misprint]

"friends can cuddle, right?" prompt with sirius????

Not sure if you wanted a platonic or romantic Sirius, but I'm a Sirius girlie so you got romantic ♥︎ If you want a more platonic version, just submit another request with platonic in the request.

Study Buddy

Sirius Black x fem!Gryffindor!reader

1.7k works

cw: fluff

It was a common sight. You snuggled into Sirius’ side on the couch with his arm draped around your shoulders. Or him laying on your lap with your hand in his hair. One of you was always using the other’s shoulder as a pillow in History of Magic.

For two who constantly insisted that they were only friends, it seemed as if Sirius made it his life’s mission to have a physical connection with you. But it wasn’t like Sirius never touched anyone else. He was constantly tackling and hugging James, Peter and Remus. He got into physical altercations with the Slytherins almost weekly. Sirius dealt with his feelings physically. 

You suppose that that’s why you found yourself in your current situation: tucked under Sirius’ arm, your back against his bare chest, in his bed, under covers. Nothing had happened. You were fully dressed and Sirius had on comfy shorts. But to the outside eye with the briefest of looks, it was a very compromising position. And the outside eyes of James would lead to a mess of a rumor. 

Leading up to waking up in Sirius’ arms, you had been studying with him in his dorm. He was prideful and therefore hated when he had to ask for help with an assignment. He had asked you because he knew that you wouldn’t tease him about it. Even better, you wouldn’t tell anyone about it. You were good with keeping secrets and telling people to mind their own business with choice words. Because of his pride, the studying had to be done somewhere other than the library or common room. So that’s how you ended up in his dorm.

After two hours of studying, Sirius had announced that he needed a break. He got up and went into the bathroom. You started putting things away, essentially taking his declaration as a hint to leave. Your assumption was reinforced when Sirius emerged, shirtless with the comfy shorts. He climbed into his bed and watched as you finished putting your things away and turned for the door.

“You’re leaving?” he had asked.

“Yes?”

“Come nap with me.”

You bite the inside of your lip, considering the situation. You were pretty sure that you were going to end up napping in your own dorm anyway, so what was the harm of napping here? It wasn’t like you hadn’t slept near Sirius before; it just was never in his bed, with him. 

“Yeah, sure,” you had said, putting your bag down. 

He held up the blanket in front of him so you could slide in. It didn’t take long for you to get comfortable. The bed smelled deeply of Sirius, which was never a bad thing. Even fully dressed, you could feel warmth radiating off of him as he pressed his body into yours. It was nothing short of comfortable. Sleep took you quickly with Sirius’ slow breathing matching yours. 

You both were asleep when James walked into the dorm. His day had been fairly plain until that moment. Usually, he didn’t give a second look to Sirius’ bed, especially if he was in it, even more so if there was someone else in it. It was never his business. Until he saw your bag on the floor next to Sirius’ desk. He nearly let out a squeal when he saw your face. He was back out of the dorm in seconds, booking it to the common room.

“I called it!” he bragged to Remus and Peter.

“Called what?” Peter asked, not looking up from the chess board.

“Y/N and Sirius.”

Remus snorted a laugh. “They aren’t.”

“Then why are they in Sirius’ bed? Naked.”

Remus and Peter’s faces snapped to James with a smug look on his face. Then they both get up and sprint up the stairs. James just waits. They return quickly, expressions an equal mix of amusement and horror. 

“I did not see that coming,” Remus muttered.

“You only deny dating that fervently when the feelings are there,” James said knowingly. 

“How long do you think it’s been?” Peter asked. “How long have they been hiding it from us?”

Naturally, by the time you wake up, the entirety of the common room believes you and Sirius are dating. You gently lift Sirius’ arm off you so you can get up. As soon as you pull away, he grumbles, still half asleep.

“Where’re you going?”

“Getting up. I have assignments of my own to do.”

“But you’re so warm,” he moans.

You roll your eyes despite knowing he won’t see since his eyes are still shut.

“You know what else is warm?” you ask, grabbing a quilt from Remus’ bed. “More blankets.”

You lay the quilt over Sirius and tuck him in.

“Not the same…”

“You’ll survive,” you say.

You grab your back and leave the dorm. You head to yours, avoiding the common room completely but coming face-to-face with all of your roommates. 

“You’re dating Sirius Black?” Mary accuses as soon as you walk through the door.

“No?” you say taken aback. 

“We don’t believe you.”

You give the group a quizzical look.

“You were in his bed, naked?” Lily says, really only questioning the ‘naked’ part.

“I was not!”

“Naked or in his bed?”

You hesitate before saying, “Naked.”

“So you were in his bed,” Marlene gushes. “Do tell more.”

You put your bag down on your desk and sit on your bed. The cost of being Sirius’ friend was defining said friendship to your other friends. 

“We were studying. He got tired, decided to take a nap and asked me to join him. We napped. I was fully clothed,” you gesture to your wrinkled clothes, “the whole time. He was shirtless but he had on bottoms!”

“So you’re sleeping together now, huh,” Marlene says with a glint in her eye.

You groan. “For the love of Merlin, do not phrase it like that!”

“You’re saying there was no shagging?” Mary asks.

“No shagging. No kissing. No inappropriate touching. Just two friends cuddling.”

The girls don’t say anything.

“Friends can cuddle, right?” The girls remain silent. “Right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Lily says, giving you a sympathetic smile. 

Sirius was having a similar conversation in his own dorm. James had spotted you crossing from the boys’ stairs to the girls’. He grabbed Remus and Peter and the group went to confront Sirius.

“So, Padfoot, when were you going to tell us?” James says casually as they enter the room.

“Is that my quilt?” Remus asks, eyes going wide. He was making horrid assumptions about the activities that might have gone down and he felt the need to burn it.

“Tell you what?” Sirius groans, sitting up. He immediately pulls the quilt higher and leans into it. It was warm. 

“About your new girlfriend,” James answers. “Although, I suppose, we don’t know how new she actually is.”

“Don’t have a girlfriend…” Sirius says. “Who’s spreading rumors now?”

“Damn, you sleep with your dear friend and you’re not calling her your girlfriend?” Peter asks, shocked. 

Confusion and then realization flash across Sirius’ face. “Y/n?”

“Yeah, caught on, have you?” James asks with a grin.

“Yeah, we’re not dating. As for sleeping with, we napped. Cuddling, you know.”

“No shenanigans?” Remus asks tentatively.

“No shenanigans,” Sirius confirms. 

James and Peter share an unconvinced look.

“Hey, friends can cuddle.” A beat. “Friends can cuddle, right?”

“Usually they keep their clothes on…” Peter mumbles and Sirius falls backwards into his pillows. 

---

James, Remus and Peter didn’t help quell the rumors they had started so you and Sirius made a habit of individually assuring people that friends can cuddle and that’s all you were. This, of course, was done without talking to each other. Not talking was helped by you both trying to avoid each other. You don’t talk until the evening before the test that you had been helping Sirius study for. He was freaking out on the inside. So he approaches you feeling more nervous than he had in a while.

“Study buddy?” he asks.

“Uh, yeah. Give me one sec, I’ll meet you up there.”

He nods and heads to his dorm. You had been working on an essay for a different class so you had to clean up your stuff. With the distance the two of you put between you, the rumors had lessened, but now you worried they would only be refueled as you went up the boys’ stairs. As you climbed said stairs, you began to question yourself. Mainly, if ‘friends’ was all you and Sirius were. You had never minded his touching and the naps and the cuddles and the hugs and the piggyback rides and the hand holding. It only fueled the secret crush you had on him. You knew so many girls liked him and you cherished your friendship so much. You wouldn’t dare say anything. 

Yes, you won’t say anything. You decide on that. Until you open the door and see him sitting on his bed, waiting for you. 

“Friends can cuddle, right?” 

The question flies out of your mouth before you can stop it. Sirius stares at you for a moment. Then he gets up and walks toward you. He puts his hands on your shoulders to hold you at arms’ length.

“I asked the boys the same question.”

“Are we friends?”

“Yes.”

“And we did cuddle.”

“Correct.”

Your next question, you already don’t want to ask it. But you need to. It needs to be asked. It’s burning as it rests on the tip of your tongue. You squeeze your eyes shut, not wanting to see his reaction when you ask it.

“Is friends all we are?”

There’s silence. Sirius’ grip on your shoulder only gets stronger. You’re about to open your eyes when something touches your face. His nose? Then his lips meet yours. You don’t open your eyes until he pulls back. The kiss only lasted a second. You don’t know what to say or how to react. So you stare at him, your mouth open in surprise.

“Was that okay?” he breathes, his face still close to yours.

“Yeah,” is all you can bring yourself to say.

“Then friends is not all we are.”