#how to process stress
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Nervous Caine my beloved, you draw him so well
Thank you!! Get very used to seeing him that way-
Despite being an AI, Caine displays a lot of anxiety and self deprecating symptoms, and being an AI, he does NOT know how to handle these feelings healthily. Also since I HC him as autistic, or displaying symptoms akin to autism, it makes understanding these negative emotions much harder, as well as expressing them.
Thankfully, he finds comfort in someone who really understands his feelings-
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc au#tadc fanart#pomni#tadc pomni#caine#tadc caine#gamemaster kinger au#ig it counts as a semi vent bc today was stressful?#but I turned it into hurt/comfort last minute bc both Caine and I deserve it <3#been wanting to develop this side of caine for a while now too#pomni and caine sharing how they process meltdowns/panic attacks >>>#i love me some father daughter stuff rahhhh....
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When I see Jason and Bruce acting like the stereotypical "prodigal son and gruff but loving father" (in canon!) my blood boils.
Jason died. Bruce did not avenge him, not even "playing by the rules", so not even by arresting the Joker. He didn't do JACK SHIT after his boy was murdered. And once Jason came back, Bruce slit his throat in order to save the life of the man who murdered him, and then left him to die in a burning building.
They should be unable to coexist in the same room let alone speak let alone have a "difficult but ultimately loving relationship". I hate you DC I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE
#the enormous injustice of what happened to Jason is hard to even process#he's one of the most mistreated mainstream characters I've ever seen (as in mistreated by the writers and directors)#this boy died and his family didn't lift a finger and suddenly he comes back and everything is his fault#it's his fault for dying it's his fault for being traumatized it's his fault for suffering it's his fault for being angry it's HIS FAULT#while Bruce keeps being heroic and stoic and in the right even if he slits a boy's neck in order to save his murderer's life#because how dare Jason demand love and demand justice and demand his pain to be seen and heard and acknowledged#aaarghbgvnhgrghenvvfkj I know this is nothing new but I'm hella stressed so this is going to be my emotional outlet for today apparently#bruce wayne#jason todd#my meta
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At the start of this project all I wanted was to 'learn how to draw' using comics as a medium and the MDZS audio drama as inspiration.
I've come *very* far from making simple, 3 panel black and white comics, and I truly do intend to go even further. Thank you to everyone who cheered me on throughout 2023, it has been an incredible year in so many ways I never could have imagined. I look forwards to drawing throughout 2024 B*)
#poorly drawn mdzs#art summary#It's so interesting looking back at how my style and technique changed throughout the year!#I used PD-wwx as the consistent factor (October is an exception) and you can see so many processes going on.#My little petri dish amoeba (with a little red bow to tell him apart from the other amoeba) <3#Whether it's getting new markers or trying out a new shading style - it's cool seeing a snapshot of my journey like this B*)#There's certainly been a slower curve to my overt improvement *but* I have become so much faster!#My life outside of drawing has been hectic and at several points extremely stressful this year. For all the work this blog has been-#-It has truly been a life saving anchor when the darkest of times have hit.#Love is hard work. Change is even harder work. Sticking to a goal I set out for myself and striving to keep going was worth it.#And I love drawing. I think there has always been something in me that longed for this. And it is finally tangible! I can draw!!!#I wanted to make a more elaborate year reflection where I looked back at my favourite comics and jokes.#but I'll leave that to the one year anniversary.#I have also been collecting a ton of statistics throughout the year and I am desperate to share them. I'm that kind of nerd B*)#I can never say it enough: Thank you all for the kindness and support. I wish everyone a lovely 2024!!!
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you know what will live rent free in my head until the end of time,,,
the deleted scene from cereal defense where dennis goes to strangle dee and she de-escalates by grabbing and massaging his hands. and it works. he immediately calms down and listens to her.
#ada speaks#trash twins#iasip#like. on some level its just like ok yeah dee knows how to manipulate dennis#but she knows this will calm him down#and like... dennis massages his own hands when he's upset too#there's just. something so.#i want to know where this came from#what acting decision. what was the thought process#its consistent too#idk if its just glenns default acting to show he's stressed out or upset or it's something that was Thought Of for den but. makes me insane
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Something I find fascinating about Wandee Goodday is that no one has kissed yet (I know Ye and Cher have kissed but...) Like not a full on make out session despite having an established couple in the show that they could be using to show us kisses. But we get no kiss sex scenes from Yak and Dee and soft, somewhat chaste scenes from Ye and Cher. We all know both couples are fucking. But the lack of kisses where normally the show would have one couple more active in that department tells me how important kissing is to this story.
Dee has stated that it's silly but he doesn't want to kiss unless he loves that person and is serious with them. But the entire show is respecting the no kiss rule which tells me that it's not silly. The entire show is respecting Dee's boundary here. And yes, Yak and Dee have come so close to kissing so many times, but they haven't. Dee has always pushed him away and Yak has always respected it when he does.
It makes me wonder what's going to happen once the main couple does eventually lock lips. Will that open the floodgates? Will the audience get to see both couples kissing then? Or will it continue to withhold that specific moment of intimacy. There's something the show is saying about the expected parts of intimacy being taken for granted and also deserving of privacy and that's up to the people in the relationship.
Kissing can be an act of love and desire, but what the show is saying is that it is not a requirement for those things. I can be completely talking out of my ass here, but something about this is really sitting with me. Not only do we get Plakao as ace representation, someone who wants a partner to cherish and be cherished without sexual expectations, but we also get the show reinforcing the ideas that love comes in all forms with so many different acts and different people are comfortable with different things. And all of that is okay. And all of those boundaries are worthy of being respected. Regardless of societies expectations for what it means to be in a relationship and be physical, whatever is right for you is right and isn't that just beautiful?
#wandee goodday#wandee goodday the series#wandee goodday series#i've been thinking about this since last week#but then we got those scenes with ye and cher this week#which is a whole other discussion that i'm sure it will take me a whole other week to really process lol#but there's something about ye being tired and cher being insecure but obviously the love is still there#idk but i will be so entirely shocked if gmmtv tries to convince me that ye who is head over heels for cher#would even entertain the notion of cheating#when he's probably just stressed about his brother and his gym and their finances and that's affecting how physical he is#when he's clearly normally very touchy and cher likes that despite his protests#so when that stops and cher doesn't understand why i can see how that can cause some pause#but those two displayed good communication this episode despite cher following ye#cher was comfortable enough to tell ye he was upset and what he thought was going on#but if this show tries to convince me that they actually have issues because ye is cheating then i will simply refuse to believe it
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The Flashback shows us Chosen and Dark being destructive across the web, but it doesn’t really give any indication of why they did this. This leaves us to come up with probable reasons that might fit. It also leaves us to come up with probable reasons why Chosen changed his tune before Dark.
And there are a lot of those XD but while so many of us talk about why Chosen stopped, and what might’ve changed to motivate his shift, I haven’t seen as many suggesting that…maybe, from the start, they were being destructive for different reasons.
#animator vs animation#ava#ava tco#ava tdl#just thinking about how stress become normal and familiar for traumatized people#and how when they finally escape their hostile environment they aren’t used to peace and safety#so they’ll manufacture stress because not being stressed feels unnatural#also thinking about how processing of trauma can be delayed until circumstances have improved#thinking about a lot of things I can’t articulate rn#triggers and elimination/conquering of perceived threats and such
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Lil warm up doodle because I'd been playing some Thropes and then watched some dubbed DunMeshi and am a Damien Haas enjoyer so. Enjoy a Shez.
#fe warriors three hopes#shez#i usually watch subbed anime but my brain recently hasn't been able to process subtitles + not english#like my brain cannot filter the difference and then i simply get stressed out because i dont know what was said via reading#and its been... bad tbh#so i swapped over to the english audio but still with subtitles and its been fine !#i also really enjoy how damien sounds so excited cause when i would watch him stream#and he would go on a story telling adventure it was so enthusiastic and genuine#and i like how he has that same vibe in the show#that said i have never drawn fanart for dunmeshi and dont wanna start now while i have other art obligations#i can dabble with learning how to draw different characters after i do comms if i feel up to it#but fe is such a default for me its really easy to draw as a doodle/warm up#also im incredibly biased to being fond of damien cause he commissioned me for emotes for twitch#which is incredibly flattering and no other va has bought art from me ? so thank you mr haas for the honors#i also am a shez enjoyer and love the vibes of both shez looks
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i can't be bothered to edit this properly so here is a bad photo of my sketchbook <3 i didn't wanna draw a person today to give myself a 'break' so instead i spent an obscene amount of time drawing wels castle (ft hypno's fireworks hehe)
#hermitaday#i guess they're technically cub's fireworks just commissioned by hypno?#idk how i managed to spend like 4 hours on this... tbf a lot of that was not drawing it was staring off into the distance but#ngl i'm STRESSED about etho tomorrow because i know i will want it to be perfect but i am not a perfect man....#i'm getting frustrated at my own (lack of) skill for drawing people even tho i literally started learning this month lol#i need to focus on having fun w the process instead of putting pressure on myself to create something perfect#anyways...... why do i always chat so much shit in the tags#welsknight#welsknight fanart#traditional art#horsemeatluvr does hermitaday#horsemeat gallery#hermitcraft#i spent 8 hours in the library today i'm so. so eepy
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GET UP.GET UP.GET UP.GET UP.GET UP
V1… ultrakill….. my beloved,,,, I am running through the brick wall because I have to draw them
#myart#ultrakill#ultrakill v1#v1 ultrakill#v1#originally was going to put THE WORLD LOOKS RED up top but my thought process changed#this is more of like… high stress situation and it gets knocked down and if it doesn’t stand back up it’ll die#plus blood everywhere because red is such a color#also another reason I changed the title or whatever is because I kept thinking about how hard it is to draw things similar and I will have#to learn to pull myself back up when I fall
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I really need to revamp my aliens au because I stole so many concepts from that AU and shoved them into CS as I had written the initial Aliens post a bit before CS was created. Now I want to make it fresh but still creature-feature with the boys—just Alien Edition™
Just to list off a few things I originally envisioned for this AU:
Sun and Moon can hear heartbeats. Specifically hear, unlike the cryptid boys who have a whole sense for it, but nonetheless, the whole heart awareness started here. I'm thinking of maybe changing this to Alien!Sun/Moon picking up on Y/N's breathing or scrapping it entirely.
Y/N is enthusiastic and wants to study the boys. I think Scientist Y/N can bypass the whole fear thing pretty easily and go straight to nerding out, whereas CS!Y/N is very much in denial about their excitement, and rationalizes it as 'for the hunt'. I think I can make it interesting via scientist Y/N for the Aliens AU even if it's still a concept of 'wants to learn about an intriguing subject that now involves the boys'. Just different flavors.
Sun/Moon eating very unpleasant things. Of course, cryptid boys eat hearts, but the alien boys are just hungry for any kind of meat, and hey, with a desolate and dark ship filled with recently slaughtered humans, it's kind of an all-you-can-eat buffet.
That's the summary of concept similarities, but I do want to focus on the difference, such as, of course:
there being two alien creatures.
how different everything will function in a setting within space/spaceship.
a language barrier between scientist Y/N, and Sun and Moon.
a focus on Y/N's physical trauma with their blown-off arm. They're going to want to make the journey through the desolate spaceship to retrieve said arm that has been preserved and then need to get to the medical bay (think protective cylinder) to hopefully have the ship's installed medical AI and tools perform surgery to reattach it, which is a big risk when there's something else roaming the gray halls that even intimidating and powerful aliens Sun and Moon would rather Y/N doesn't encounter.
Sun and Moon also have their own designs and special abilities relating to their celestial themes as well as indulging in freaky monster details, like Moon's 'nightcap'. It is extremely long and acts as a sensitive feeler for things in the air and is somewhat prehensile. Sun's sun rays have more purpose than just being pointy and armor-plate-like, as well as having those same plates on his spine, and he almost seems to be on the brink of being too hot, sometimes radiating heatwaves like an oven.
their alien design is a mix of translucent, starry, and colored flesh, almost like jelly but smooth and slightly cool and moist to the touch, coating the bones of Fazco brand endoskeletons.
their legs are digitigrade.
their mouths are wide and look like they're smiling all the time, but their mouths can get bigger and open even wider, especially when they're eating/attacking—it's as if their entire face is going to split in half but nope, that's just to let out their other teeth.
That's all I have for now. I want to think about it some more.
#i want to focus on y/n's journey through processing the physical mental and emotional trauma of losing a limb#and that unfortunately means that the surgery doesn't go well (including how much distress it causes sun and moon to be separated from you)#(as watching metal sharp things produce by human technology start working on you while separated by glass that even they can't break)#(is a bit stressful for aliens)#random burst of inspiration for this au i haven't touched in months take it or leave it lol#i've been thinking about aliens a lot lately#aliens au#this just hit me as last thoughts: moon could sense y/n's breathing with his feeler nightcap thing#sun could sense y/n's body temperature and if they got too hot or too cold#okay posting now
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Nature vs. Nurture vs. Whatever the Hell This Is
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Vlad fucked up.
To be fair, just because he was smart enough to figure out how to make a clone, didn’t mean he was good at it. That became very obvious when the first few clones of Danny melted. Then Danielle destabilized, and Danny had to save her.
By the time the events of AGIT came about, Vlad thought he’d perfected the practice. Dan had a new body and a second chance at life, and Vlad now had a son like he always wanted. They both gained a family, and Danny was happy for them.
However, after a few years, Dan was the first to realize that he and Dani weren’t aging. Danny was.
Through panicked calls and the digging of old files, Vlad discovered that while he’d forcefully grown both Danielle and Dan’s human bodies to what they were now, he’d somehow frozen the intrinsic and extrinsic aging processes.
Both Danielle and Dan were more ghost than human, and with Danny finally bringing peace to Amity Park, their bodies simply did not react to any of the normal stressors in the human world. They didn’t breathe oxygen, they didn’t have to fight off world ending threats every week, and they just simply didn’t expose themselves to enough ectoplasm to continue new cell production. (They even tested this theory by cutting off a lock of Dani’s hair and waiting a few months. It didn’t grow at all!)
Their bodies were just…frozen in time.
Well, damn.
Both Dan and Dani wanted to be on their own by now, but their eternal baby faces were making it impossible. Danny was well off into college at this point, having grown into the Fenton genes quite well, and looked like their older brother or dad rather than Dan’s twin.
Cue a coming-of-age story featuring Dan and Dani as they, quite literally, try to force themselves to grow up and match their mental ages.
#danny phantom#pondhead blurbs#post agit#can be a crossover but doesn’t have to be#basically Vlad grew them in ectoplasm and unless they want to spend every few years in a pool of green stuff#they have to figure out how to unfreeze their bodies aging systems#the two get into every fight they can to stress themselves out but instead they’re stressing VLAD out#because his two babies ran off and he’s not ready to skip their teen years#spending time in the ghost zone speeds up the process but it’s not an instant fix#they’d have to be in there for years in zone time#probably decades in earth time#they’re trying to speedrun puberty essentially#danny is just vibing ig??#I just want a story with Dani and Dan being the worst they can be on purpose#like Dan is teaching Dani how to capture rats and Vlad is sobbing about rabies in the corner
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It has been… a few stressful weeks to say the least, but I might have a full time job locked down at last!!! The interview is next Monday; after that I’ll probably take a week to settle and get used to the new schedule, but hopefully once I am (FOR REAL THIS TIME) I’ll open up forms for commissions :,,,)
#telekitnetic's silly mind box#I can’t begin to express how stressful the job hunting process has been.#I’ve applied to approximately 35 different positions at this point.#still I’m hoping the light at the end of the tunnel is soon….
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still working on tweening and etc but small self-indulgent sneak peek hehe
#my art#wip#bocchiposting#i wholly underestimated the amount of tweening needed and the amount of layers#originally i wanted to cover the entire song with parts for kita and bocchi#but given my current health condition + having work i think i'll just finish small chunks first and then see how much i can do b4 school#i can definitely finish the intro but i really want to draw in bocchi for a specific part sdjfhdskfjks#unfortunately i currently have the constitution of a sick victorian child! Any stress or strain sends me to the bed!#so i cannot crank this out within 5 hours like i used to be able to#the song is mesmerizer obv credits to that#it really has been a process of oh im just gonna do something small for fun oh no this needs more for a better streamline#halfway through i was like. would this have been easier if i just used. live 2d. probably. but i am too far in.#i need a good video editor program so bad but all the tutorials online are for AE and i do not have the money for that </3#and the next best option is apparently blender and i've done a few tutorials but i have never been able to retain the information <3#the learning curve is seriously hard and i don't have the time for that either </3 time is money fr#i tell myself to not feel guilty for drawing when i could be studying bc this is needed <3 this is self indulgent <3#self care!!!!!! rahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!#kk rambles
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and everything that's here is rising in tone and saturation it's an aching, it's a violence, it's a longing to erase the separation
a companion piece to Cicadas, of sorts. closeups under the cut:
#sleep token#sleep token art#sleep token fanart#sleep token vessel#sleep token him#bygone art#bygone beloved#eyestrain#eyestrain tw#ask to tag#this one took more time than i'd like to admit. i'm usually pretty quick with my art because i tend to get consumed by the process#but this time i was consumed by other things as well. i suppose it's good that i decided to take it slow#crywolf's new song (tenebrescence) inspired me to finish this. lyrics from it are also in the caption#also to stress it further this piece is connected to Cicadas in a way#same colors (in places) & composition inspired by page 1 & the theme is similar#Cicadas is about how every vessel is expendable and how there's always someone before and after and there always will be#this is about the change of a specific one. he was someone before and he will be someone after#and he'll be himself again. a different himself than he started as but himself nonetheless#it will be okay but it will be different but it will be okay#the intense feelings (good and bad) coming from your being someone else will go away but you will be okay and you will be you#ah fuck my eyes hurt#bygone lore
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i am not doing so hot
#physically or mentally#im stressed and anxious all of the time#i don’t know how to relax and im feeling like im stressing everyone out in my life in the process#im trying my best and pushing myself to be more social and more forward and talk to people i want to talk to and ask people to hang out more#but the feelings of loneliness have been replaces with the feeling im#bothering everyone and i just don’t know what to do#i dont want to do anything but sleep these days but i don’t let myself because i know i wont be able to get out of bed if i rest for too#long. and i don’t want to do that again
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i am a COWARD. and a PUSSY. and PATHETIC. why don’t i SPEAK UP MORE. why am i so AFRAID. (tags for mild clarification grrhhhhh)
#this is about a certain someone who sent like four needless asks which i then privately responded to with yeah you’re right so they’d stop 😭#i ended up blocking them cuz. yeah. But like i should not have tolerated that#i did though LMAO#if you ever see me backing down and agreeing with someone who is in the wrong it’ss cuz im terrified at all times#grrhrhhjj. man why do i tolerate this junk.#tmw my anxiety ACTUALLY alters how i process stress#i back down way too much#whyyyy do i end up agreeing with needless criticism and hate because im scared of getting into fights or drama#WHYYYyy am i scared of being yelled at online#WHY!!!! am i scared of people#i get. so scared of people
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