#how to hide video on iphone

[sinofwriting]

Private Professor - Max Verstappen

Words: 5,576 Summary: For years and years, Max has claimed that he has a girlfriend, but no one has ever met her and he refuses to talk about her with the media. And it’s far easier to believe that he’s lying when no proof of a girl exists. Note(s)/Warning(s): Small Age Gap (Reader is nearly two years younger), Some Angst, Mostly Fluff, Jos Verstappen. Thank you so much to the anon that requested this! I had a lot of fun writing it!

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At fourteen and sixteen, their relationship is all blood rushing to their cheeks, fluttering hands, kisses that last too long and not long enough, panting breaths, and hickeys below shirt collars. It’s whispers of forever, of I’ll take you here and there. That house will be ours one day. Whatever you want, you’ll have. I’ll be on break, you’ll come home and I’ll be waiting. You’ll follow me everywhere and I’ll do the same.

It’s promises they don’t realize they shouldn’t be making but do. It’s sweet nothings and petty fights that last a day before they’re back in each other's arms. It’s pretending not to notice how his dad watches him amused as he walks calmly out of the door before sprinting over to her house and sneaking into her bedroom. It’s her parents pretending not to hear the thud of him falling into her bedroom and the light giggles their daughter makes.

At fourteen and sixteen, their relationship changes. It’s no longer seeing each other when he doesn’t have a race or training and is home, no Red Bull duties to be done. It’s long phone calls, texts, snapchat streaks, learning how to video call. It’s carrying two power banks with them everywhere and Max buying them both expensive phone cases that charge their phones. It’s falling asleep on the phone while the other is just beginning their day. He attends classes with her, while she listens to him train. He goes to red bull meetings and pretends not to have the light sound of breathing in his ears from her falling asleep while studying or doing her homework.

Fifteen and seventeen, brings them peace. She’s still studying like a mad woman at Harvard of all places, but he’s got an F1 seat of all things. He’s in F1. He suddenly has more things to do but more free time. When he’s not racing or at the factory or doing weird press things that make him want to rip his hair out, Jos is putting him on a plane to America, to her. And he soaks up all the time with her he can, despite it being filled with her studying, attending classes, and forcing actual food down her throat which her parents both thank him for.

It also brings the stupidest thing in the world; the doubt and disbelief that he has a girlfriend.

Carlos is the first to bring it up upon seeing his home screen that’s just all black, not even the default that iphone has.

“No girlfriend?” Max frowns at him, pocketing his phone and sending a glance over to where his father is standing and talking to his race engineer. “What?” “Your home screen, it’s all black. You don’t have a girlfriend?” Carlos is teasing, joking. The whole paddock already knows that Jos Verstappen wouldn’t let his son have a girlfriend, not now when he’s got an F1 seat. Such a thing would be a distraction and Max isn’t allowed those. Max isn’t allowed friends on the grid either. Carlos wonders though how much the last part is just a Jos thing. “I do.” Then he says her name, all soft and sweet in a way Carlos never thought Max could be. It’s nearly enough for him to believe Max, but then he catches a glimpse of Jos and shakes his head, clapping the seventeen year old on the back.

He is the first to not believe Max, but far from the last. It’s Daniel next, Christian, Esteban, Pierre, Sebastian, Lando, every interviewer that asks.

It doesn’t matter because at seventeen and nineteen, she gets her second degree and begins the nightmare of getting her doctorates in education and history. And he picks out a ring before making his father hide it away. And instead of him constantly flying to her, she’s flying to him. Hiding out in his Monaco apartment, turning his living room into a disaster zone as she spreads her things around to study.

The mess drives him crazy, but he doesn’t move anything no matter how much his hands itch to do so, instead just pressing a kiss to the top of her head before pressing himself in between her and the couch. Grinning when she sends him a look, a clear don’t be a distraction, before giving him a kiss.

His days in Monaco when she’s there are spent in the living room after training, playing fifa or watching some documentary for one of her classes with her, and poking at her lightly because he doesn’t know shit about history but he’s still able to remember countries quicker than her.

They turn eighteen and twenty and nearly get married when her family goes on vacation to Vegas, dragging the two along despite them not being able gamble, which is the only reason her parents had chosen Vegas. The only thing that stops them from getting married is him not being a US citizen and her visa just being for school. It’s a fucking wakeup call for him and he can’t help but pester her about places in Monaco to live.

She entertains it for all of five minutes before she’s cupping his face and kissing him. When she pulls back, she’s shaking her head. “As long as it has you and four bedrooms, I don’t care.” “Four?” “We’ll need our own offices and a guest room.”

It’s barely anything for the real estate agent to work with but he doesn’t care. He wants something that’s at least four bedrooms, two baths, a decent kitchen, and a view. She liked the Monaco sunrise and sunset and he planned on letting her be able to see it anytime they stayed in Monaco.

His agent gets back to him in a week and he ignores the look on Daniel’s face when he comes over for the first time. Ignores the jokes about it being too big for one person just like Daniel ignores him saying that he has a girlfriend.

“If you had one, I’d have seen a picture of her mate. The whole world would.”

Max still remembers the way his jaw had twitched at the thing everyone said. That if he had a girlfriend, they’d have seen a picture of her, that he’d be showing her off every second, have her at the races, been seen with her. When Max had made it abundantly clear that the worst part of driving was the media, the fame. So why would he ever subject someone he loves to that when they both weren’t ready for that?

Because they weren’t. He wasn’t ready for another part of his life, one of the most important parts, to be something for everyone to look at and dissect. And she wasn’t ready for it either. Not when she was doing so much studying. She barely felt like she had time for him, which he denied and hated vehemently, she didn’t have time for the online vitriol of being a girlfriend to a high profile athlete. And she didn’t need to be harassed as she attended classes and studies groups and such if someone recognized her and didn’t like that she was with him.

Not showing any pictures or videos of her was also easy for him. It wasn’t because he didn’t have any, he had hundreds. But they were pictures and videos of her, only meant for him. Not because they were dirty in nature, though some were, but because how she was in them was something only she allowed him to see. It was photos of her with a finger pressed to her top lip as she glared at her books, videos of her sitting on something too tall for her feet to touch the ground and letting them swing. It was her smiling at him, all fond, shy and in love.

It was them wrapped up in each other's arms and love. Her in between his legs or the other way around. Her sitting on his lap as Vic stole his phone to video them laughing and exchanging kisses. Her giggles as she tries not to fall asleep as reads her books to him over facetime. It’s her in her purest form and he doesn’t want the people in his life who are so quick and sure to not believe him to get to see that.

Nineteen and twenty-one, she officially co-owns their place in Monaco and he starts scouting out property in Belgium and land in France that’s somewhat close to the principality he lives in. It was too early to start building a house to live in forever, not when they weren’t sure what they wanted to live in forever with their kids, but it wasn’t too early to buy the land for it.

It also leads to their biggest fight in years.

“Max!” Her nails are digging into her arms. “I’m not saying that. I’m saying that I want to help, that I can pay. I have money!” “And you don’t need to!” He’s yelling as well, face red with anger. “I’ve got money too! You don’t need to pay for shit when I can.” She shakes her head. “Really? Is that how it's always going to be? I won’t ever get to pay for anything? Just have a salary and trust fund wasting away.” She scoffs, giving another shake of her head. “Is it about being the breadwinner? Because don’t worry Max, I’m well aware that you’ll always have more money than me. Doesn’t mean I can’t contribute to our life.” “Fuck.” He murmurs seeing the tears brimming in her eyes but not falling, the hurt in her words. “It’s not about that at all. It’s not about being the breadwinner.” “Then what is it about?” Her voice is high pitched. “You won’t let me pay for a single thing! I can’t buy groceries without you slipping money back into my wallet. I can’t help pay the bills and now you won’t let me help buy the land that will have our house on it. What is it about Max?” “You’re mine.” Her eyes widened at his quiet but firm tone. “You’re my girlfriend, the love of my life. One day my wife and the mother of my children.” He runs his tongue over his teeth, feeling words and feelings he’s only ever really let come out during sex or when they're both so drunk they barely remember anything the next day. “I want to pay for everything because it’s providing for you, it’s making sure you’re eating, sleeping somewhere safe, getting the best, most accommodating flights. It’s knowing that I’m providing for my family.”

“Max,” she breathes out, arms falling away from her chest and then she’s moving closer, resting a hand over his racing heart. “You want to provide for me?” He nods. “For our future kids?” “Yes.” “So do I. So, we’re going to work on this. You want to buy the land, you can.” He looks at her distrusting, because this didn’t sound like working on it. “But, I get to pay for groceries when I go out for them, without you paying me back. I get to pay for netflix because I use it more and spotify.” She adds. He frowns at her. “I don’t like it.” “Too bad and I’m not done. In return, you get to pay the bills, put gas in the car for me,” he grins at that. “Pay for my flights and we are going to open a joint account to put an equal amount of money in every month. For things like vacations, anniversary dinners, and the kids. Because it’s important that I get to help provide for them too. And when we build that house together, I want to pay at least half of the contracting fee. I’ll let you pay for the rest.” “I want to pay for any of the kids' interests. Like art, ballet or karting.” “No deal.” She shakes her head and he’s frowning again. “You can pay for all the karting, it will mean more. But I want it out of the shared account for the other things. Unless,” she pauses. “Unless,” he encourages. “If any of them decides to go to university early like me, I want to pay fully for it.” “No.” It’s quick and now she’s frowning as well. “It’s our children and their education. Shared account.” “Their first degree.” He shakes his head. “And if it’s their only degree?” Her brows press together, it was a good point. Just because they decided to go to university early like her didn’t mean they’d go for more than one degree. “First year.” His eyes narrow as he looks at her, but he nods. “First year. But only of the first degree.” “First degree only.” She agrees.

It’s quiet between them before Max lets his face soften, lips twisting slightly into a smile. “Are we done fighting?” She laughs, but nods. “Yeah. We’re done fighting.” “Thank god.” He breathes, pulling her into his arms and burying his face into the crook of her neck. “Let’s not do that again.” “Not anytime soon at least.” “I love you.” He murmurs. “I love you too.”

Twenty and twenty-two has their families asking when exactly they’re getting married, wondering why there isn’t a ring on her finger and their only saving grace is their time spent in Monaco together away from them all. But when it gets to be too much as pressure builds as she tries to finish her doctorate in education while still working on her doctorate for history, it’s Jos that steps in for her and Max.

The three of them shared a complicated relationship. She could never like him for the parent he was to Max growing up. From the near abuse he hurled at him when he failed, the pressure he put on a child, the leaving him in a foreign country for a few hours when he wasn’t even a teenager more than once. But she did love him, because Max loved him and in his own way he loved Max and he showed that with his support of their relationship when everyone expected for him to have a problem with it, label it as a distraction. And now as a few years had passed and Max was comfortable in his F1 seat, he was Max’s fiercest defender, unwilling to back down, but would if Max told him too. And he was her fiercest defender as well. Glaring at jokes about her not needing a degree with the money Max made, not forcing her to join on trips when she was busy with school or questioning her support of Max because she didn’t attend races.

So, neither Max or her are surprised when Jos steps in when her grandparents are trying to back them into a corner as to why she doesn’t have a ring on her finger and how they have a number for a wedding planner and she should really give her a call, when all they want is to get breakfast before retreating to their room so she can resume her studies while Max hovers around her while going over his own work.

She hadn’t been thrilled at first when she learned that Jos would join them on the trip, knowing that Sophie wouldn’t be there, but now she was grateful and she made sure to squeeze his shoulder before leaving the kitchen and scheduled a nice quiet dinner for herself, Max and Jos as thanks.

The media becomes relentless when they’re twenty-two and twenty-four and Max wins his first championship. Because there is no girlfriend in sight despite the now champions thanks for her support and love. They tear Max apart for creating a fake girlfriend that has no name or face, call him unloveable with his fake championship. Some tear her apart as well, calling her gold digger, selfish, undeserving, fans of Max and the sport do as well.

It was supposed to be a happy moment for him, one of if not the best in his life, but it’s tainted, ruined, and as soon as he’s home with her in Monaco, all she can do is hold him and pretend that the texts from his friends begging him to go out and get laid don’t make her cry later in the shower.

Despite the texts and a bold one from Daniel about hiring him a prostitute, she forces Max to go out, to celebrate with the drivers in Monaco, to get drunk and have fun, and forget what the media is saying about him.

“I’m coming back if one of them even hints at a prostitute.” He tells her and she laughs, but she knows that he’s serious. He’s never even once considered cheating on her and one of their first serious fights had been about her trying to convince him and herself that she’d be okay if he got lonely while he was traveling and needed someone. He hadn’t believed it for a second and it had been one of the few times he had been so pissed at her that he couldn’t even stomach to look at her.

“Am I making a mistake, mom?” She asks, barely five minutes later, not even bothering saying hi when her mom greets her over the phone. “No.” Her mom’s voice is firm and has her blinking away tears. “But,” “No.” Her mom cuts her off. “Sweetheart, I can’t even begin to try and understand Max and yours relationship. But this, this privacy that you two have, that’s not a mistake. It’s rough right now and it will be. And it will come back later when you two do decide to be public, but it’s not a mistake. You two both made the difficult, heartbreaking, mature decision to keep it private for both of yours sake.” “I know.” She whispers, wiping away tears. “You both still need privacy and there is no shame in that. Max isn’t ready and neither are you. As far as I’m concerned the only mistake you two have made is still not being married with a baby on the way.” “Mom.” She groans and her mom laughs. “I know, I know. Just remember that despite the seven or so years you’ve been together, that you two are still young, still doing so much growing.” “Thank you.” “Of course.”

When Max arrives home hours later, drunkenly stumbling around and into bed, she’s not surprised by the smell of liquor clinging to him or the drunken murmurings he’s pressing to her skin. She is surprised by the deep inhale he takes and the splutter that makes her turn to face him.

Eyes a little blurry from sleep and wine, she makes out squinted eyes, flushed face, and a frown.

“You’re drunk.” “You’re drunk.” She replies, curling closer to him. “You’ve been crying.” “Yeah.” He slips an arm around her, pulling her closer. “We’re going to feel like shit when we wake up.” “Yeah.” He chuckles, brushing lips over her forehead. “That bad?” “That bad.” She nods.

At twenty-three and twenty-four, the itch that Max has had since he was nineteen, one that’s grown worse and worse as the years have gone by, is too persistent and he takes a quick trip to his fathers house the day after she turns twenty-three and returns with a ring and the promises they made at fourteen and sixteen, promising them all over again, as she stares at him with a smile and teary eyes.

“I’d be stupid to not want to marry you Max.” She tells him when he slips the ring on her finger, breathing a sigh of relief when it goes on, fitting perfectly. “You’re going to marry me.” She nods, giggling at his blown pupils and silly grin. “Yes, I am.”

It seems stupid to be so giggly and flustered about it, so love sick, when they’ve talked about it so much. About getting married, about houses, kids, life after racing and teaching. But it’s different with the ring on her finger. Not more real or tangible. Just more.

“I know I proposed early.” She shakes her head, wrapping her arms around his neck and his arms eagerly wrap around her waist. “It’s perfect. I know we talked and had plans, but this is perfect. Besides, I’ve got news of my own that’s early.” “Oh?” Max’s eyebrow raises and he knows it’s not possible, not really with her religious use of the birth control shot and the way they mainly use condoms, more for convenience than anything else, but his eyes drift down to her abdomen that’s exposed. There’s no difference, but he can imagine what it would look like, he can also imagine what it will look like in a few hours. “Not that.” Her bottom lip is pulled between her teeth. “I got an email about my viva exam.” “Your viva? But you haven’t submitted your thesis yet.” “Actually,” “Stop.” He lifts a hand to press it against her mouth. “You submitted your thesis already? You completed it?” She nods, her laughter muffled by his hand and he drops it. “Well, what did it say? The email.” “Once I get to the ceremony, I will officially hold a doctorate in education and history.” He kisses her before she can say anything else.

“Unbelievable my love, unbelievable. Two doctorates by twenty-three.” He shakes his head, smiling wide. “You know what that means right?” He shakes his head again, unable to think of anything. Too overcome with his proudness and love for her. “I’ll have my position at Harvard right after the ceremony.” Blue eyes widen. “And they agreed to let me teach a mix schedule for all of 2022, but when the official school year starts for 2023, I’ll just be teaching digital.”

Twenty-three and twenty-five has them weathering the media storm once again as Max wins his second world championship. It’s worse this time. Not because he says more than he did last time about her or says her name or slips up and calls her his fiancee and not girlfriend like they agreed to. But because this championship no one can deny is his and she’s still not there. Too busy in a different continent with the start of the school year as she teaches by herself for the first time since earning both her doctorates.

It’s also not as bad this time, because some of his friends do think that he’s seeing someone, not the girlfriend of years, or even really a girlfriend, but just some random girl that understands he’s too busy for an actual relationship and willing to put up with him spouting to the media and everyone else that he’s in a committed relationship. She doesn’t have time to focus on the media and fans that believe she exists, she barely did last year, but this year she really doesn’t.

“You know,” she says five days after he’s won his championship and they are in the house they have stayed in for the past two years when she has to be at Harvard and he wants to join her. “Around this time next year, we’ll be public.” His face does a weird contortion at the thought. There was a giddiness to the idea, to the thought, but also dread. “That means,” she continues when Max doesn’t say anything. “That you have ample time to figure out how you want to tell people.” “How I want to?” “Yeah. This is your world, your friends, colleagues, nightmares,” she adds and they both laugh. “You can decide how exactly you want to get back at them for not believing you.” “I’m not going to be cruel.” “No.” She lifts her hand and lets her pointer finger trace over his lips. “You’ve never been a cruel person, Max. But you can be a menace.” His eyes light up at that. “Oh. And you don’t care?” She shakes her head, “This is all you and I’m more than happy to be along for the ride.”

She is twenty-four and he has just turned twenty-six when he decides to enact his plan that he came up with so many months ago.

He had made a reservation for a private hall in Monaco months ago, hired a party planner to take care of the finer details, but sorted himself out the place and the food and drinks that would be served. And the day after he turns twenty-six, he picks up the large stack of enveloped invitations he had made and carefully packs them in his suitcase for Qatar. He was winning the championship there and he’d be damned if he didn’t make an already memorable weekend even better.

It’s the first time in a decade she has traveled with him to a race to actually watch the race and not just be there at the hotel to support him as she studies and he can’t help the smugness and happiness that radiates off him when he shows up to the track for the first day.

He’s got his backpack over his shoulder, but the invitations are already in his hands, ready to be passed out.

“Max!” Charles greets when he arrives in the driver's debrief room. All twenty of them, plus reserves, team principals, and Daniel sitting and standing around as they wait for the FIA representative to get here. He looks down at his watch, noting that it will at least another ten minutes, before his eyes flicker to a member of the Red Bull staff that’s standing against a wall, but just like he asked, they’ve got a camera in their hands and there’s another one standing leaning against the opposite wall, also with a camera. “Charles. Safe flight?” “Always. What do you have there?” “Ooh,” Daniel chimes in, moving closer and looking at the envelopes in his hands. “What do you have there?” He smirks and he can see Daniel’s grin flatter at the sight for a brief second. “Invitations.” He says, before tossing or passing them around to the different drivers and Christian. He nearly avoids giving Lando one just to be a shit but Toto isn’t there to give it too and it wouldn’t be the same to give it to a different team principal jokingly.

“What is it for?” Carlos asks, eyeing the dark envelope like a lot of the other drivers are, suspiciously. He shrugs, eyebrows raising when he sees the way Lando is feeling the envelope. “Mate, I’m not giving you money.” Lando frowns, before ripping it open. “You’ve got more than enough to spare.” Seeing Lando open his, has the rest of them following suit.

“Dear friends of Max Verstappen,” George reads out and the wording earns a few snorts but he continues. “You are invited to celebrate at the” he pauses squinting at the french on the page. “The Salle des Étoiles” Charles says. “Cheers, mate. You’re invited to celebrate on the 8th of November at 4pm.” His eyebrows furrow. “Celebrate what?” Max watches from the corner of his eye as Christian flips the invitation over and nearly chokes.

“Your engagement?” “Your what?” “Engaged?” “Impossible.” “Lies.”

The whole room is filled with denial and panic and Max just smiles, nearly laughing when Logan thrusts his invitation into James’ hands and asks the team principal if it’s true.

“Max, you aren’t engaged, right? Like that was a fuck up with the print place?” Daniel is nearly pleading, begging, and Max would feel sorry, but for the past ten years he’s been telling people he isn’t single, and sure he’s never shared many details, but they all refused to believe or even consider it. He ignores him, instead looking at the room in large. “You’ll meet her tomorrow. She’s very excited about it.” And as if he planned it, the FIA official walks into the room and no one can question him.

When the meeting is over he manages to avoid all of them except for Christian, who nearly drags him into a private room.

“Is this real?” Max raises an eyebrow at the way he’s waving around the invitation but nods. “Yes.” “You’re really engaged.” “Yes, Christian. I am.” The older man stares at him, not blinking before sighing and running a hand over his face. “Is she pregnant?” “What?” “The girl you’ve been sleeping with recently. Is she pregnant, is that what this is about? Because you don’t have to marry her.” “No one is pregnant.” He reassures, not even able to find any anger for Christian and his assumption. The older man sighs again before sitting down and slumping in the chair.

“You’ve had a girlfriend since you were sixteen.” There’s regret, guilt, and sorrow in his voice. “Yes.” “And I never believed you.” He shrugs, it had hurt yes, but he had always understood Christian’s disbelief in it over anyone else's. “No.” Christian nods. “And I owe you both an apology for that. I should have believed you Max.” “Thank you.” “But really, ten years and you’ve just put a ring on it?” Max groans, rolling his eyes. “You sound like our families.”

They are twenty-four and twenty-six when Max wins his third championship, with the sprint race of all things, and the whole world watches as he’s enveloped by his team before he’s tugging off his helmet and kissing the unfamiliar girl that’s between Christian and Jos, shielded from the rough crowd of Red Bull mechanics, crew, and such. They are twenty-four and twenty-six when everyone finds out that Max had been telling the truth the whole time.

Just about a month later, she eases into the spot between Max and the arm of the couch, eagerly tucking herself closer to him when he drapes an arm over her shoulders.

“You alright?” She nods, “Yeah, Vic and Tom finally left.” Max snorts, “It only took them thirty minutes.” “A record for them.” She grins, before looking at the other people surrounding them, or rather Max. She wasn’t surprised that Max had taken to quickly grabbing a few people and secluding themselves in a corner. She was a bit surprised by the people however.

Charles and Daniel which isn’t too surprising, but there’s the three rookies of the season, Liam, Oscar, and Logan, as well, a little surprising, but nothing compared to the two Mercedes drivers also in front of her.

“You aren’t trying to get Lewis to play paddle are you?” Lewis laughs, shaking his head. “I get enough of competing with him on the track. There’s no convincing me there.” “It’s fun, Lewis.” Charles says. “You should join. George you too. Make it Mercedes versus,” he pauses, eyebrows scrunching together as he tries to think of something to call himself and Max. “Lestappen.” She offers, inching away a bit when Max pinches her side. Charles doesn’t notice the pinch, just smiles at her, before looking at the two British drivers. “Yes! Mercedes versus Lestappen.” His eyebrows then furrow. “What is Lestappen?” “Mate, you don’t want to know.” Liam tells him. Logan chuckles, “I don’t know. Either he finds out now or he finds out when he googles it later.” “Googles it.” George murmurs, mocking the American accent that Logan has. “Bloody Americans.” “Yeah, yeah, tea and crumpets.” Logan waves off Georges mocking with a grin as he looks at Charles. “It’s what people call you and Max, a nickname you could say for when you two are together.” She tells him before Logan can say anything. “Oh,” he frowns, considering. “That doesn’t sound so bad.” “It’s not.” She assures.

Before anyone can say anything else, someone joins their group, eyes focusing on her.

“Dr. Y/L/N, congratulations on your engagement.” She looks at the older man in surprise before quickly standing to shake his hand. “Toto, a pleasure to see you again. And please you don’t need to call me doctor.” Toto smiles, tilting his head forwards, conceding as she sits back down. “Doctor?” Daniel questions, eyes flitting between her and the Mercedes team principal, not sure of what to make of the interaction, though Max seems perfectly fine with it. She presses her lips together and she can feel Max move a bit closer as Toto’s eyes narrow at Max. “Yes.” She tells Daniel and the rest. “I managed to get both of my doctorates last year.” A few jaws drop and Lewis whistles. “And I thought you were just a teacher.” Toto’s looking at her now, with narrowed eyes and she sighs.

It would be just her luck that despite having just met the man once, that one time had resulted in a long conversation after he gave his guest lecture at Harvard.

“You told them you're a teacher.” “I told them I teach.” She corrects. “Let's not make a big deal out of it.” “I want to make a big deal out of it.” Max mumbles and she sends him a pleading look. But Max doesn’t give in, instead he turns to the rest of them. “She’s a professor at Harvard. She got both her doctorates at twenty-three and quickly was signed on as professor.” “So, what you’re saying,” Oscar starts, breaking the silence that has fallen over the group. “Is that she is way too smart for you?” Max laughs, eyes crinkling and body bending forward from the force of it. “Without a doubt, mate. Without a doubt.”

@cixrosie @darleneslane @teti-menchon0604 @eugene-emt-roe @fanboyluvr @gemofthenight @peachiicherries @lpab @benstormy @iloveyou3000morgan @copper-boom @boiohboii @topguncultleader

[missbluesunflowersstuff]

Only in Gotham headcanon

Robin!Damian is the Robin who have more stuff in internet than the other because he becomes robin after the big boom in social media (the other also did mistakes and funny moments, but there was no gothamite with iPhone to record this up)

There is a compilation on social media of photos and videos of Batman, Nightwing and (few times) Redhood carrying the 8-year-old Robin in their arms, because the little bird fell asleep in the middle of the patrol

It is common to find videos or photos of bats eating together

and sometimes you can also found pics with Nightwing and Redhood drink beer together

one time Clark found this video of two boys dressed as Robin and Superboy receiving candy with the description "Halloween in the middle of July", Jon got grounded for it

there is also a video of Redhood in full armor, going into a 24 hour ice cream shop with Robin!Damian and Superboy!Jon to buy ice cream for them

More than once a gothamite take a pic of Robin!Damian using a hello kitty band Aid

On the Spoiler_Official channel you can see the video of Red Robin and Robin playing in a playground in the middle of the night, the footage shows them playing on the seesaw, swing and jumping hopscotch

(the story behind this video is cute: there's this silent rule in the house that when you see Damian act like a kid, you need to incentive it. In that night Damian found a hopscotch in the playground and Tim noticed the confuse expression in Damian face, Tim decided then help Damian and both end up play in the playground all night instend of doing the mission)

And you also can find Robin scaring Red Robin with the baby possum he found in the trash

#BatmanHasTooManyChildren is now a really thing because of it

If you do a good search, you'll find a photo of Robin hiding under his father's cloak on a rainy night

Duke doesn't know it yet, but Signal has a strong fan club in Gotham and they all goes wild everytime that there are videos of him show off his powers

Half of Gotham believe that Dick Grayson is Redhood

neither Dick nor Jason know how to feels about it

Also a lot of people believe that Red Robin is actually Tim Drake's ex boyfriend

Talia has an alarm to know when a photo or video of Robin!Damian is posted. She puts everything she thinks worth saved in a folder

Bart, one time, wanted tries this ancient thing called tiktok with his friend...Lex Luthor's building was the target of pranks that month

Jim Gordon was already caught buying cotton candy for Robin and Superboy (Damian and Jon), while Batman fought the Croc

[luvnoirs]

caught

paring: paige x fem!reader synopsis: reader walks in on kk and paige during a tiktok live and accidentally exposes their relationship warning(s): none ! (sfw) word count: 742

a/n: shoutout to oomf for giving me this idea lmao

"hey guys. where's p?" you question after you opened the front door to one of the team's shared apartment.

you had first stopped by your girlfriend's shared apartment which was next door, only to find out that she wasn't there. confused, you had sent her a text that had gone unanswered for ten minutes. so then you decided to go next door to see if her other teammates knew where the hell she was.

you were first met with amari as she held a jar of pickles, half of a pickle being chewed in her mouth while she held the remaining half in her hand. aubrey sat on the couch cheering on aaliyah as she wildly danced in front of the tv playing just dance 4.

amari was the only one who actually noticed your presence and she nodded towards the back of the apartment where the rooms were located since her mouth was still busy chewing on the salty pickle.

you thanked her as you made your way out of the common area and into the hallway. you could already hear loud chatter accompanied with the sound of music playing. you instantly knew one of the voices belonged to kk, so you decided to open it because paige was known to keep kk by her side most times.

your assumption was proven right once you finally opened the door and laid your eyes on kk and paige goofing off in front of an iphone camera. their backs were faced towards you while ice laid on the bed playing fortnite so she noticed you first. yet, her eyes widened a bit before they quickly cut towards kk and paige's direction. but before ice could say anything you had beat her to it.

"babe, seriously?"

kk paused her dancing while her and paige both turned around to the sound of my annoyed voice.

you watched confusedly as kk let out an 'oh shit!", scrambling to grab her phone and tap the screen quickly. before you could question it, paige was walking towards you with a surprised expression.

"y/n?" paige questioned. "i thought you said you couldn't come over tonight?"

you smacked your teeth and shook your head at her. "i texted you saying nevermind. then, i showed up to your dorm but you weren't there and when i texted you again you never responded. where is your phone?"

"it died so i had it on the charger while kk and i went live…" paige scratched her head, glancing back at kk who was now sitting on ice's bed biting the inside of her cheek.

"oh shit, you were live? i thought you were making one of those stupid tiktok videos-- ice! why didn't you tell me?" you whacked the side of her leg as she yelled out dramatically.

you and paige haven't exactly made your relationship public yet and you literally avoided the girl as if she was the plague whenever one of the girls went live. it was honestly all your decision for it to be this way because you didn't want the media to focus on who paige was dating rather than her actual talent and love for her community. you also knew how many fans she had and you could only imagine what they would say about you if they had found out that you were dating the paige bueckers.

"hey, i tried to warn them!" ice defended herself, still trying to concentrate on her game.

"they probably screen recorded the live, too" kk added, looking back and forth between you and unbothered paige.

you groaned as paige wrapped her arms around you, resting her cheek on top of your head. "nah it's fine… you weren't in the camera anyway so they can speculate all they want about it."

laughing, you hugged her back. she had practice earlier tonight so she smelled like fresh clean clothes and the lavender soap she uses. you inhaled and relaxed against her body. "your fans aren't dumb, paige…"

paige pulled back a bit to look at your face. "i don't care. i'm tired of hiding you-"

"um, not to be rude, but can y'all do this lovey-dovey shit somewhere else…" kk feigned disgust and held her stomach as if she was sick.

paige rolled her eyes and you let out another laugh. you said goodbye to her two teammates as your girlfriend grabbed you by the hand and walked you out of the room.

[josephquinnswhore]

Hi 🌸

What about a fic where reader is walking with Pedro and they are at the airport but they get swarmed with paparazzi. Everyone wants to talk with Pedro so the reader falls and the paparazzi start to push her around and he freaks out trying to find her 😩☺️

Breaking Point - pedro pascal x female reader

Summary: pedro looses his shit after you get hurt from paparazzi.

Word Count: 2k

Content Warning: paparazzi being assholes, reader gets hurt, slight panic attack, Pedro losing his shit.

Note: I FUCKING LOVE YOU ANON. TRULY. Anyway I’m gunna source Pedro’s rage from that video of him at the airport where he’s frustrated but make it 100 times worse lol. I cant believe people are actually requesting my fics, I love you guys.

It’s no secret that Pedro spends a lot of time in LA when he’s not at home in New York, snaps of him plastered on the internet for the world to see; exposing his location within the day of him arriving. Privacy wasn’t a luxury you could afford, especially after his upcoming fame after his role as Joel Miller in the last of us, paparazzi just seemed to be everywhere you went, no matter if you were ordering a coffee, driving to a family members house or even going to the gym. Pedro was often apologetic about the lack of privacy and how intrusive the paparazzi could be, your life has changed drastically since being with Pedro. It was hard to acclimate to, being followed and having hundreds of photos of your face and personal life plastered on the internet and magazines worldwide. You had put your big girl pants on and learnt to deal with it, Pedro admired your resilience, even though the paparazzi were moderately tame up until today.

Today was one of those instances where you and Pedro were on your way to LA, a frequency that had become a fortnightly occurrence, the airport was nearly empty, a few people floating around, you try not to draw to much attention to yourselves regardless as you pull your luggage behind you, the few people that occupied the airport seemingly recognising Pedro despite the cap and sunglasses in an attempt to hide his face. He never minded the fans approaching him, in fact he loved it, as long as they were polite he would entertain them, what he didn’t need however was for someone to post online that he was in the airport, much against your luck that’s what happened when a particular fan approaches the both of you.

“Oh my god Pedro! Could we get a photo please, I’m such a huge fan!” A young girl asks him, his attempt of a disguise obviously failed, Pedro offers a polite smile, “yeah of course, thank you for your support.” You step to the side while she takes a selfie, not wanting to intrude on her moment, “I can totally take a picture for you if you like?” You offer kindly. The girl smiles and is trembling as she hands you her phone, you snap a picture of them together, Pedro wearing a genuine smile, his tired pose captured in the image on the girls iPhone.

You hand the iPhone back to her and she thanks you both, speed walking back to her friend that had been left by the seating area, showing her phone and seemingly posting it to the internet. Within minutes your phone is buzzing from a text notification, Lux sending you a screenshot of the post on Twitter from the girl, in her excited high she exposed your location to the world; worse off the paparazzi. You try to prepare yourself for the shit storm bound to happen.

“This isn’t good.” You mumble to yourself, a loud sigh leaves your lips that catches Pedro’s attention. “What’s wrong honey?” You simply turn your phone to him, he squints through his sunglasses and exhales loudly. “This is going to turn to shit.” He looks around the airport as you walk toward where you’ll be boarding your plane, about to stick your luggage on the belt carousel when you hear shouting and clamouring heading in your direction, that didn’t take long. Pedro turns your body away from the audience as to give you some privacy from the invasive images being snapped of you. He wished just once that the way he touched you would be kept private, he gentle hand on your back, his lips on your temple, nothing seemed sacred between you and Pedro despised it.

“Pedro, Pedro! Look here!”

“Please here look! Just one picture.”

“Someone move the girl out of the way.”

The paparazzi were screaming over each other, pushing and shoving their way closer to you with every second. Their desperation to get a new picture of Pedro outweighed any morals they had, if they had any at all. You struggle to make out their sentences and demands as they rush you, pushing you a few steps back, separating you from Pedro as they surround him in a half circle as they scream at him, each trying to gain his attention for their news report.

You begin to panic once you’re separated, never having death with paparazzi that act like this before, the noise and clamouring becomes too much to handle, it’s easy to become overstimulated when the screaming overlaps each other and the noise becomes havoc, you try to squeeze between the gaps to get back to Pedro, reaching out to him as you try to get his attention, to no avail. Pedro is polite in the way he’s shielding his eyes from the blinding flash as he calls your name, asking them to move out of the way so he can find you, unable to see you past the swarm of strangers. “Pedro!” You call out, voice breathless and strained as you panic, you’d never been around paparazzi like this before. “Please move out of the way so we can get on with our day.” Pedro pleas.

One man shoved past you harshly, seeing the gap you occupied in order to get the perfect picture of Pedro once he had taken his sunglasses off. You trip backwards at the force of his shoulder barging you, stumbling over your luggage that’s pulled tightly behind your legs and as if in slow motion, it takes a few seconds to register the pain in your head as it smacks into the floor as you fall onto the cold tile.

“Baby! Oh my god look at what you people have done! Move out of my way!” Pedro tries to shove his way past in an effort to get to you, seeing you being brutally shoved to the ground, groaning in pain set a fire inside of him.

You grunt in pain as you cradle your head, the area hot to the touch where it met the cold floor, the throbbing spreads to your ears leaving a ringing noise to squeal through them. “Oh fuck,” you mutter which comes out slurred, your own voice sounds unrecognisable, unable to stop the room as it spins around you, the dizziness sets a nausea in you that climbs from your stomach to your throat.

“What the fuck is wrong with you people, have you got no dignity or respect?” Pedro snaps as he rushes towards you, seeing your face paler than normal and the pained look on your face as it scrunches. He kneels above you, your eyes seeing doubles as he comes into view. “Baby, are you okay?” His hand is cradling your head and one is waving in front of your eyes, you blink slowly, trying to gain a clearer view of your surroundings.

Pedro slowly helps you sit up, leaning against your luggage as the clicks of the camera are still shuddering throughout the ordeal, not caring that they’ve physically hurt you. Pedro’s face is red and a large vein in his neck and forehead begin bulging in his rage. “You fucking cockroaches, you did this to her. You can expect to hear from my lawyer for this stunt. Get that camera the fuck away from me.” Some of the men flinched, never seeing this side of Pedro. It was a first for you too; the indescribable rage he’d shown was a direct result of your injury at the hands of these people. The clicking and flashes of the camera finally stopped, your vertigo stops to a standstill and you’re brought back to your senses. “We’re sorry man, we just wanted some new pictures. I got a family to support you know.” The man who pushed you excused himself, the irritated tone didn’t go unnoticed, Pedro scoffs, “go and get a real fucking job. All you do is harass people it’s pathetic. Now get the fuck away from us before I call the police. You’re lucky I don’t beat your ass for this.”

“I’m sorry man, I can’t afford a lawsuit.” The man stutters as he realises Pedro is dead serious in his threat. Pedro helps you stand and you wobble on your feet, his arms hold you upright as he leads you away from the crowd. “I don’t give a fuck if you can afford it or not you spineless prick.”

“Come on baby, you need to get your head checked out.” The paparazzi that lingered snapped a few more shots of Pedro leading you to the front desk as they’re escorted out by security.

You’re sat down on a small chair, an EMT approaches you, kneeling down so you can see him.

“Hey, how’re you feeling? Heard you had a bit of a fall.” He starts, opening his medical pack as he observes you. “A fall? She was shoved by those heathens.”

“Its okay.” You turn to assure Pedro, but it was totally not fine, he just shakes his head at the way you’re still trying to make this out to be no big deal. “I think I’ll live. I still feel a little dizzy though.” The EMT takes out a torch, you blink harshly a few times as it blinds you, you try to adjust to the bright LED light. “Just follow this light for me. That’s it, now look up.” Your eyes follow the light lazily, seeing Pedro with a concerned expression on his face out of the corner of your eye, made you feel guilty for ruining his whole day.

“Your reaction is a bit sluggish. Just going to check your head now okay? Where does it hurt?” You nod and point to the area at the back of your head slightly to the left and wince as his gloved hands part your hair where the giant egg on your head was. Pedro’s hand sits on your knee, rubbing it to reassure and offer some support to you. The man gently prods the sore spot and you tense, holding your breath, a headache coming on at the sudden contact with the sore spot.

“It’s very possible you’ve got a concussion. I’d advise not getting on a flight until you’ve been cleared. It may take a few days.”

You sigh, “thank you for looking over me.”

“It’s no problem at all, look after yourselves,” the man farewells as he walks away. Your hands are aggressively rubbing your hands over your face in annoyance, you’ve just delayed Pedro’s flight and now you would have to stay home while he flies to LA for his interview.

“I’ll call a cab to get home, you should still go to LA. You can call me tonight once you land.” You offer weakly and Pedro frowns deeper, the stress lines on his face making him age a few years by the whole ordeal. “You’re out of your mind if you think I’m leaving you here after that, concussion or not. I’m staying with you honey.”

Before you can protest Pedro hushes you, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “I can rebook the flight and reschedule the interview for next week. I need to be here to make sure you’re okay. Don’t ask me to leave without you.”

“Okay.” You accept which helps Pedro relax, his face red from where the stress lines had been a semi permanent fixture on his face. “Let’s get you home baby. Gotta make sure my girl is looked after.”

Pedro calls a cab outside the airport and helps you into the car, the taxi driver loads your luggage for you. “They’re going to point the narrative about you being awful. You know that right?” You look up at him through your lashes, Pedro scoffs, “let them, they can get fucked.”

He tucks your hair behind your ears and slips his fingers in between yours to hold your hand, a sincere look in his eyes, “no one fucks with my girl and gets away with it.”

[dreamgirlsclipscom]

Sammy’s Hello Kitty Socks Handjob and Face Sitting on the Couch - (Full HD 1080p Version)    

Sammy takes more and more pleasure in humiliating me with her pretty little feet, and she now knows how crazy she can drive me when the smell of her feet is really strong! Sammy is also a pretty lady who often has really strong sexual urges, so at the slightest opportunity, she takes pleasure in having fun with my penis. I have to admit that I really don't have a problem with it! We were lying on the couch relaxing and that's when she asked me to take off her running shoes. She then immediately covered my face with her smelly socks, which she had worn for a few days in a row, and she knew very well at that moment what she was doing! She knew it would make me hard, and that's exactly what she wanted! Sammy loves to tease me all the time, and she really enjoys doing it! She started stroking my hard cock through my pants, and my member was getting harder and harder! It was becoming more and more difficult to hide my excitement for her pretty little feet!

Sammy wasted no time, and pulled out my hard penis from my pants, and started masturbating me! She had fun masturbating me gently, while making me sniff her sweaty and stinky Hello Kitty socks! I was really excited! She was masturbating me harder and harder, and I was really close to cumming! Sammy got into a more comfortable position to masturbate me, and asked me to sniff the inside of her running shoes. She held her running shoe on my nose with her foot, and masturbated me with a big smile at the same time! She knows so much how to turn me on! She asked me to smell and lick her socks, and at one point, she decided to sit right on my face, in order to be better positioned to masturbate me! I now had to breathe in her pretty little ass, while she masturbated me at the same time! Sammy asked me to put the camera a little closer to her pretty little ass, and that's when she took the opportunity to make me cum very hard! What a pretty goddess this little Sammy is! I really love her!

The Virtual Version of this clip was shot with an iPhone 15 in 4K format, and the Ultimate Version offers you the 2 Versions of this video, one after the other!

[oizysian]

V. WE’RE GOING SWIMMING

All Eyes on Me masterlist

Word count: 1k

•

I crept back into the hotel room as quietly as I could, sneaking into the little kitchenette so I could put the sandwich I bought for Brie away. As I was putting the bag into the small fridge, I heard something behind me. I spun around, ready to fight - or flee, really - and came face to face with Brie, who had her phone out and was smirking.

"Jesus, you scared me half to death." I let out a sigh of relief at the sight of her.

"I see that." She peeked over my shoulder and her eyes lit up. "Is that for me?"

"Yeah." I breathed, turning around and grabbing it before handing it over to her. "I hope you like it. I wasn't sure what to get so I just got something simple."

"I'll eat almost anything. I'm like a human garbage disposal."

I looked her up and down as she put her phone on the counter and dug around inside the bag.

"Where does it all go, though? You're all muscle."

"I work out a lot." She said, her face stuffed with the sandwich I had gotten for her.

I shook my head, chuckling at her, when I noticed her phone was unlocked and there was a picture on the screen.

"What's that?" I pointed to it and she let out a soft hum of questioning before her eyes followed my own to her phone.

"An iPhone."

"The picture, smart ass." I reached out and took it, my jaw dropping at what I was seeing.

"Surprise, I guess." She spoke between bites.

"This ... this isn't good. This looks not good, Brie."

It was a photo of Elizabeth and myself at lunch. We really looked like we were enjoying ourselves but it also looked like a date. We were sitting rather close and she was very animated; very touchy and it seemed as though we were more than friendly.

And they figured out who I was. Oh no.

"Your chat is gonna have a field day with you, babes."

"They're gonna eat me alive." I groaned, placing her phone back down on the counter.

"I can't wait to see that." She smiled, scarfing down the rest of her sandwich.

"Brie, this isn't funny. This looks like ..."

"A date?" She offered and I nodded pathetically. "It's obvious it's not a date - she's married. She would be a fool to go out on a date in public."

"We know it wasn't a date, but look how close we're sitting. Oh gosh." I rubbed my hand over my face before looking up at Brie again, who was still smiling.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You're about to blow up, baby."

"Huh?" What was she talking about?

"You were just seen out with one of Marvel's biggest stars."

"You're one of Marvel's biggest stars." I softly reminded her.

"Yes, but she's a star right now. 'Multiverse of Madness' is a hit, Scarlet Witch is bigger now than she's ever been before - and you just had lunch with her."

My eyes widened in realization at what she was saying, shaking my head desperately in denial.

"No, no, I-I'm not -!"

"You're an influencer now! Get out there and influence!"

"Brie, I don't want this responsibility. I'm just a streamer. I sit in my room and play video games, that's it."

"You're more than that now." She grabbed me gently by the shoulders. "You can do great things. That charity stream was just the beginning. Use this publicity to do all the things you wanted to do."

"You make it sound like I should use her popularity for my own gain."

"I didn't say that." But the look in her eyes said differently. "No matter where you go from here, I know I can't wait to watch your next stream where your chat goes absolutely apeshit."

I groaned, momentarily forgetting about how they would all react. They knew about my crush on Elizabeth, but seeing me with her was a completely different story.

"I'm afraid to stream now."

"They're gonna be happy for you." She said, her smirk almost hiding a hint of emotion in her eyes, her voice laced with a slight bitterness I didn't understand. "They're gonna be proud of you for finally landing your dream girl."

"I didn't land anything." I pulled away from her and walked over to one of the chairs at the small table, sitting down in it. "I don't even know why this conversation is a thing - we're just friends. We're all just friends!"

A flash of hurt colored her face before she snapped back to the present and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Maybe so," she leaned against the counter. "But I still say you get what you can out of this."

"She's my friend. I'm not gonna do that."

She shrugged, her shoulders dropping with relaxation.

"Enough of this Lizzie talk. Let's go for a swim in the pool."

"I don't really feel like swimming." I grumbled when my phone went off, indicating I got a text.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked to see who messaged me - Lizzie.

"What'd she say?" Brie asked, apparently realizing who it was at the look on my face.

"She said she's sorry."

"That's it?"

I shot Brie a look before returning my attention to my phone, typing out a response to her quickly. No, that hadn't been all. She hoped that this incident wouldn't affect our friendship and she asked if she could see me again before I left so she could apologize in person.

"So no pool?"

I sighed and looked up at her.

"Brie, I don't even have a bathing suit."

"So go out in your undies. It's the same thing."

"Elizabeth is coming to talk to me in person." I finally spoke, my eyes glued to my shoes.

It was quiet for a moment before Brie spoke again.

"Tell her to bring her bathing suit then, 'cos we're going swimming."

•

@oh-thats-cute @marvelwomen-simp

[shorthairchris]

Not to sound like a bitch or anything but am I the only one that’s extremely bothered by the lighting in the kitchen when the triplets film there 💀

Like it’s killing meee I’m tryna enjoy the video but the big white light makes it feel so uncomforting. It’s like the equivalent to how the default iphone alarm sound makes me feel. Absolutely vile.

Also like it’s so unflattering cuz the light is behind them it hides their pretty features. Idk just a thought

[ladyiristheenchantress]

Techno Magic Crash Course

Hello World! (hehe)

Ive noticed a lack of information on techno-magic and what being a tech witch might entail! Tech magic is the use of modern-day technology in our magical practices! This can be a secular practice OR someone may pair other aspects of theology into it! There is also 'Technopaganism' which is the merge of neopaganism and digital magic. Some people may worship tech and its energy or some people simply use it as a tool for ritual magic!

In this post I wanted to showcase a few ideas to get you started in the tech practice! The first section being common tools, the second is common tech practices, and the last is about how to take steps into your new tech practice and advance forward!

First: The tools To get started here are some amazing apps people might get on their phones to carry magic anywhere

The Moon is an iphone based calander with a bunch of free information about the phases of the moon and even crystals and intentions related to the phase!

Rune reading on the Google Play Store this is a divination app in relation to runes!

Citrine Circle is a great crystal data base to keep track of crystal you either have or want to get

Time Passages is a free chart reader that will read your whole astrological chart!

Labrynthos is a free tarot app that not only gives you access to free tarot, oracle, and lenormand decks, but it teaches you how to read them

Next are physical or digital items you can use in your craft, I will go in more detail in the sections to follow!

Computers, phones, tablets

Mouse

Keyboards

Applications and websites

coding platforms

Second: The Practice

This section is all about creating ideas to use for your craft! This section is all about how to integrate common witchy things into your craft! There are thousands of ways to do this so it would be impossible for me to share every idea but hopefully, these get your creative juices flowing

Cleanse using music or beats you enjoy over a speaker

Use mechanical processes in your spells (for example your cars computer could be a green light charm if you hate waiting in red lights)

Create digital grimoires on places like notation or google docs

Create altars on places like Pinterest or sandbox games

Play video games with intentions, like tycoon games for prosperity and FPS for warding

Use autotune during chants to add more power to your voice

Use screens for scrying or intuition practices

Shufflemancy is when you shuffle through a playlist and get a song as a form of divination

Use the energy of a crystal on your screen if you don't physically have one

create digital sigils and hide them around your electronics

Learn a coding language and mess around with enchanting code

Third: How to move forward

So now that you have a few recommendations how can you advance? first research, check out some of these sources for even more information

Tech Magick for Digital Witches

Other Community tech posts

Wiki on technopaganism

Cyber Spell books (Note this was written in 2002 so it is very outdated, however it is actually one of the more recent ones I see online)

Now, Research is going to be the backbone of any practice, however, tech magic doesn't have definite rules so experimentation is going to be your best friend so here are my top tips

If you learn about a new practice ask yourself how you can make it digital (like crystals and the crystals in your phone)

Look deeper into the practice, as you explore how your computer works ask yourself 'why' frequently and question how things work

look into superstitions coders and virtual friends have in relation to computers, are they rooted in anything?

I think that is all for today friends! I hope you all enjoy and if you have any questions feel free to post them in the comments!

Tip Jar

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

Yeah from the looks of things on google, while both Android and iPhone offer stop/reduce motion in their accessibility settings, one would have to do some major programming within the phone itself to guarantee no movement on any app. Maybe someone out there is working on/could be commissioned for an app that could do such a thing, but it may require a fairly up to date phone to even have hope of running both that app and the app you're attempting to use.

(doesn't help that most of the google results are just tips for web devs to keep in mind when designing their sites, rather than solutions for the user's side)

Still, it sounds doable for the right person, and there might be a nonprofit willing to look into assisting with that.

it really shouldn't be necessary, though

like, i already have autoplay turned off in the tumblr app, so gifs or videos only play when i click on them (and thus not when i'm scrolling past, which is a big vertigo trigger). except for some reason tumblr decided this rule doesn't apply to adverts. so although they've now fixed the part where they autoplay with sound, they still override my app settings to autoplay, making them both a visual hazard and deeply fucking annoying

it shouldn't be on me to figure out a workaround to that, though! i already toggled the relevant setting! it's hostile web design to let things continue to move when a user has told them not to!

plus nobody wants their websites to have things readily visible and everyone wants flashy transitions when you click on a menu so everything's slipping and sliding about all over the place. my platonic ideal of a website belongs somewhere to the 2006-2011 era where we'd mostly got past the eyestrain colour combos and tiny text of the early 00s but we weren't yet into Everything Moves. think your average 2010 wordpress blog with a wide main column of text occasionally punctuated by an image, a static sidebar with page links, and a static top menu beneath a still image header which would take you to other pages. if you clicked on a link, the new page loaded. there was no transition animation. nothing whipped itself to the side and was replaced by ten more images. you also didn't need ten different adblockers to hide all the intrusive pop-ups and interjections

bonus: imagine how much less data this would use when browsing on mobile

[alantea87]

So, I’ve clocked my first 24 hours with the Nokia 2660 Flip. Truly a flip-you to my iPhone and its addicting qualities. Nothing groundbreaking to use a dumb-phone, but I wanted to challenge myself again to rejoin reality and reconnect with my friends and family properly… by stripping back my use of technology to its bare essentials.

Why…

After many months of wanting to pull away from social media, WhatsApp and iOS, I was apprehensive yet elated at the very idea. What about the memes? Thirst posts? Corgis? I’d miss them all. But much needed clarity came crashing in: my iPhone had become my adult pacifier (or dummy for us Brits). Using your smartphone during times of boredom, times of stress, or times of wanting connection has become a habit of many. And, I was no exception. Especially the doom-scrolling for hours on end after work. Luckily, after some realisation… my emotions were at the mercy of this bloody thing. Not to mention the continued horrors of witnessing violence or harassment on Instagram reels - content like this seemingly slipping through censorship safeguards. I had enough and wanted to go back simpler times, even at the dismay of others. I finally bought my second dumb-phone in two years, but this time it was far more usable (bigger buttons, predictive texts, foldable display). I wanted to really try much harder in having an iPhone-less life, even if it created a touch more inconvenience.

Neck-deep…

Sometimes I feel that tech companies invent inconveniences in order to sell more solutions directly to you. And as someone who used to work at Apple’s Regent Street store years back (when the first iPhone was launched, mind you), Apple has turned into a capitalist nightmare. I miss their earlier days of really creating a tech solution to improve your life. Now it’s all about that coin and I forget I am neck-deep in their eco system and feel like I’m drowning in their “YOU’RE MY ELITE EMPLOYEE” energy, so I feel I have to keep on buying more. Yes, the integration of all of their devices work incredibly well. But sometimes I feel that innovation doesn’t always address your ability to connect (naturally) with other people. In fact, my self and a lot of my friends (at my age), now feel that modern technology hinders deep, meaningful connections e.g. good old face-to-face conversations in the real world. I think as a millennial (and listen up gen z), I forget that conversation in person is incredibly nuanced: one has to balance tone, emotion, inflection and practice patience. It involves drama and full expression - hands, legs and otherwise! Real connection. No avatars, no emojis, no hiding. Worst case scenario, make a phone call and use your voice. Having said that, I will have to practice what I preach now that it’s much harder to write big messages via SMS on an alphanumeric keypad, lol. I’m more likely to text “can I call you in a bit instead?”.

Current tech hoes…

I have in fact have not fully compromised my relationship with tech. I am using an iPad for emails and internet. Plus, I have resorted to using my Apple Watch as a “mp3 player” paired with my AirPods Pro 2s. I forgot that if you have an Apple Music sub, you can download songs/albums/playlists directly to your Apple Watch via Wi-Fi etc. Perfect for the gym and the commute. Because I am sure as hell that I won’t be touching those dodgy Temu-like music players on Amazon. Frankly, they look like they would crumble in your hand and would be carcinogenic. Remember guys, tech companies have turned once a useful tool (the smartphone) into a slot-machine in your hand. Your emotions are being played with and sometimes I did enjoy aspects of that (memes, targeted videos/content etc) but I say: no bloomin more. For now. Lol. Famous last words. I’m going to try and do two weeks minimum with my Nokia 2660 and see how I survive.

Challenges to expect…

Unlike the Nokia 2680 Flip (only sold in North America, I think) as a fancier operating system that allows WhatsApp and a stripped down version of Google Maps. GPS navigation on that version of the 2660 apparently works alright, but you wouldn’t be able to use it in car for driving (I don’t drive anyway). But my main concern about using a feature phone is that lack of mapping. And I chronically get lost in London, despite being born and raised in Hackney/Islington. So I do plan to use my iPhone (loaded up with a data eSIM) to use it like it was a good old TomTom. Sorry gen z, these were old standalone GPS screen/devices you retrofitted in your car. But only if I plan on going somewhere totally new. Otherwise, I will try and relearn the bus network (within reason, lol) and tube map relative to my needs. I kinda miss those days of printing out directions and/or relying on your actual brain to problem solve and to get your bearings. Other things I may or may not miss out on: QR code scanning/presenting, tube/weather updates, voice notes.

Final words…

Scaling back to a dumb-phone has actually already reduced my levels of anxiety, sense of disconnect or being part of comparison culture. The very act of adding in your contacts manually one-by-one like the 90s/2000s into a cellphone was quite therapeutic despite its novelty. I think you can import a vCard, but couldn’t be arsed. *Carrie Bradshaw voice* But then I thought to myself (as I typed each contact into my Nokia keypad): damn boy… do I only really have three (actual) friends?

Two books I am currently reading and recommend.

[batb1tch]

I fucking missed his birthday but here’s a belated list of Bruce Wayne headcanons no one asked for 🫡

He’s a walking thesaurus

Begrudgingly takes the time to do general maintenance on the kids vehicles but they know it’s how he shows fatherly love

Genuinely disgruntled/confused by social media culture & language

— “Duke, what does -squints at iPhone screen- thotiana mean?”

“……im not qualified for this”

History buff. Loves the history channel & discovery channel. gets hurt on patrol & just vegges for 8+ hrs. when the painkillers kick in he starts scrutinizing & correcting the narrators. Loudly criticizes naked & afraid. Whole fam finds him unbearable (jay is the same way tho)

Enjoys rlly spicy food. Like shit that should be inedible. Prob from years of inhaling toxic gases & fumes. as embarrassing as it may be he doesn’t have much of a palette anymore. Only way to find out if something’s poisonous is the consistency/density & how it sits on his tongue.

— “clark, dare me to eat this pepper?”

“we’re literally on a different planet that thing could kill you bruce”

“I’ll take my chances”

—turns purple or something—

Total geek on vacations or nature walks, points out every creature it’s Greek name, genus, the whole shebang. Loves fossils and seashells can tell you time period of rocks & what type they are. Same with trees.

100% would blow shit up in the bat cave for “scientific research purposes”

— “it’s for the greater good Alfred”

“even the bottle rockets sir?”

“Especially the bottle rockets”

Really fucking hates the cold. Broken bones & scars ache like a bitch in rainy/snowy cold weather.

Hates taking medicine/cough syrup like a giant baby. Alfred has resorted to hiding pills & sedatives in all kinds of creative ways. Stephanie is surprisingly good at baking them into her “special” cupcakes.

wears those horrible Hawaiian shirts and slacks every time the fam goes on vacation. Looks like a walking pattern violation.

as opposite of a morning person as you could get. drinks his coffee black & cant function until he’s finished at least a cup. The longer he sleeps the longer it takes him to recover when he gets up. Pours orange juice into his cereal & that kind of shit. Most of the kids know better & leave him alone to his morning paper but Steph knows it’s the best time to get what she wants so she’ll hassle him relentlessly at the breakfast table. Morning stubble always makes a cameo

Fucking terrible at most video games. The WORST at 1st person shooters. Does enjoy racing & building games (& Skyrim for some reason)

Really good at crossword puzzles & fills them out in the newspaper when he gets the chance.

Truly is the turtleneck king (you lose a lot of heat in the neck)

Has horrible handwriting for someone who grew up with a top tier education. Drives his secretary nuts.

Has like 5 cellphones, very plug of him. nobody understands how he manages to keep track of everything. the one he uses as bruce to contact the kids is an 02 NOKIA that’s probably been to the moon and back (literally)

Very affectionate towards Alfred the cat it’s definitely that ‘dad who vehemently denies the pet/doesn’t want it & then becomes inseparable with it’ type of relationship. He may or may not sneak him friskies much to Damian’s chagrin.

—*tsk* “he’ll become obese father its irresponsible of you”

“ill feed this cat until he has to roll through my house thanks”

Has one of those fancy watches with like 1000 functions thanks to tim. It’s bulky and black looks like some sort of military electronic.

His kids call him inspector gadget.

Wears blankets around his shoulders like the cape/cowl when he’s sick.

Most certainly keeps track of and studies the colony in the cave. The kids have a theory that he has trackers and mics attached to the bats for snooping purposes. (He doesn’t but he’s not telling them that)

Has a collection of crazy socks, ties, and cuff links (mostly from tim & steph) that he wears to work when he’s feeling worn out. They are all hideous and Alfred tells him so but just a glance at some putrid yellow cotton & he already feels better.

Enjoys going to classic car shows with the kids and Alfred. everyone has an opinion if he’s made a new purchase, he pouts if the consensus is bad

Singe-handedly funded the 24/7 food truck services/entrepreneur program for the entirety of Gotham after getting his ass kicked by killer croc one night & by the grace of god & the pity of a concerned man running a taco truck was given the best meal he’s ever tasted in his life. Jay was very on board when he heard about it & actually the entire team is pretty grateful to be able to grab something delicious on the go all hours of the night

Likes to swim and going to the beach in general. One of his favorite things to do with Clark is deep sea fishing — dad shorts baseball cap and socks with sandals kind of fishing.

Contrary to his stony persona, the mans a crier. Cries when he’s sad, cries when he’s happy, cries when he yawns, cries when he laughs, cries when he’s sick, etc. etc. Sometimes tears come out when he’s upside down, he’s just got very active tear ducts 😪

Definitely has a photo of every kid in his wallet, most of them are blurry and cropped weird cause he cut them out himself but all of them are of the kids smiling or laughing. He looks at them all the time to the point that they’re worn down and faded different colors.

Has severe manic & depressive episodes. PTSD as well.

He’s ambidextrous but primarily left handed

[phoenixculpa]

you made him want to hide each time i came out of my shell when it was he you called, who defended

my honor, [unbeknownst] winning a no contest showdown: curiosity got the better of an awry wheel, broken skate after you held my arm like a grandma i couldn’t

wait for fall days to eclipse summer sun: fever dream got nowhere but enraged intuition—finding you kinder than ever, deleting past videos at red robin,

iphone forgot formulaic sameness and you remembered to catch a fish without a hook, let it swim like water in your palm when his never showed, isn’t

it incredible to false alarm one, nuzzle toward a safety net without holes but to read the old testament aloud, let my big sister by merit overhear alien

dysfunction, pepperjack fun in green bubbles forgotten, moreso dodging your lost niece who didn’t know who he was for real [either], a lookout soul

somewhere, untethered by you, winding back to whimsical lax stature, firm hands envelope your soothed breaths and you don’t change rhythm like my man did out of self consciousness,

rather rebuttal everything with comical defiance, mix up life to get the best of it, mentor said you’re so out there, how could one expect anything less than your inevitably met disappointments, electrifying conscious

to a pinky promise, hushed seoul lulls us to leaves dwindled to start anew, dream of honeydew, waking to bashful eyes, averting—[pg

phonecalls,] buying orange, used rollerblades and 40 cent neon clean tennis to wholeheartedly embrace: cuddle off cannabis, rock calm along autumnal streets

[smilocity]

Hello! I’ve been wanting to do text posts for a bit! I was wondering if you could share how you make yours! Thank you 🖤🍒

Of course!! (I’ll be showing you a few pictures so you can properly understand!)

So I basically use my phone for text stories. It’s all free so no worries!

First off, you are going to have to download an app called "Chat Tales". (I have an iPhone so I don’t know if it’d available on Google Play Store…)

Second, you don’t need to use your money for a membership/premium,etc. It’ll only give you more access to how many chats you want and stuff.

Third, there is a LIMIT of at least 4 chats you can create. (Usually I take screenshots—from my phone or use the app to take screenshots to save time.)

There are different fonts! You even have the option to chat like you do on Snapchat.

(I usually add the cover of the person that you’re texting so everyone can know who is who.)

Fourth, it’ll be something like this! Well, it depends on your story. (BEWARE of the watermark at the start if you take screenshots with the app! The white arrow in a blue circle)

The " + " Is where you add characters in the chat! I usually hide the person speaking (blue bubble) with the character so the person can think it’s them actually texting them. (There are PLENTY options.)

Lastly, the blue and white arrow is where you basically "export" your story. (I HIGHLY recommend to either screenshot with the app or do it with your phone. The videos aren’t that good…)

You can change any style of the chat, wallpaper, the profiles and more! (Like erase all chats so you can create a new one without having to go through all that trouble of doing the characters, etc!)

The “ is the give quotes in between the messages! Like by example — "Today 3:55 PM"

And that’s basically it! Thank you for asking me about this! I was going to do a tutorial but I completely forgot! I hope this has helped you with your journey of writing in text style!

[dreamgirlsclipscom]

Sammy’s Hello Kitty Socks Handjob and Face Sitting on the Couch - (Full HD 1080p Version)    

Sammy takes more and more pleasure in humiliating me with her pretty little feet, and she now knows how crazy she can drive me when the smell of her feet is really strong! Sammy is also a pretty lady who often has really strong sexual urges, so at the slightest opportunity, she takes pleasure in having fun with my penis. I have to admit that I really don't have a problem with it! We were lying on the couch relaxing and that's when she asked me to take off her running shoes. She then immediately covered my face with her smelly socks, which she had worn for a few days in a row, and she knew very well at that moment what she was doing! She knew it would make me hard, and that's exactly what she wanted! Sammy loves to tease me all the time, and she really enjoys doing it! She started stroking my hard cock through my pants, and my member was getting harder and harder! It was becoming more and more difficult to hide my excitement for her pretty little feet!

Sammy wasted no time, and pulled out my hard penis from my pants, and started masturbating me! She had fun masturbating me gently, while making me sniff her sweaty and stinky Hello Kitty socks! I was really excited! She was masturbating me harder and harder, and I was really close to cumming! Sammy got into a more comfortable position to masturbate me, and asked me to sniff the inside of her running shoes. She held her running shoe on my nose with her foot, and masturbated me with a big smile at the same time! She knows so much how to turn me on! She asked me to smell and lick her socks, and at one point, she decided to sit right on my face, in order to be better positioned to masturbate me! I now had to breathe in her pretty little ass, while she masturbated me at the same time! Sammy asked me to put the camera a little closer to her pretty little ass, and that's when she took the opportunity to make me cum very hard! What a pretty goddess this little Sammy is! I really love her!

The Virtual Version of this clip was shot with an iPhone 15 in 4K format, and the Ultimate Version offers you the 2 Versions of this video, one after the other!

[annoyangle]

QUICK QUESTION LEFT IN THE AIR! What do you think about reality shifters? Ever encountered one?

AHAHHAHA OH BOY LET ME TELL YOU A THING ABOUT THAT. NOW LET ME CLARIFY ONE POINT UP FRONT: I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE TRICK THEIR OWN MINDS INTO BELIEVING STUFF! IT'S ONE OF THE REASONS YOU HAIRLESS MEAT PUPPETS ARE MY FAVORITE SPECIES! DELUSIONS ARE FUN, AND PEOPLE WHO SINCERELY BELIEVE THEIR OWN CHAOS ARE EVEN MORE FUN! BUT THERE'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN ACTUALLY CHANGING YOUR REALITY BY THE FORCE OF YOUR MIND AND WILL ALONE - SOMETHING I HAVE ONLY SEEN YOUR KIND PULL OFF LIKE... MAYBE TWICE IN ACTUALITY - AND I THINK BOWIE AND PRINCE ARE BOTH DEAD NOW, RIGHT? - AND A MODERATE TO SEVERE MENTAL BREAKDOWN. KIDS, REMEMBER: THE INTERNET LIKES TO LIE TO YOU, PEOPLE ON THE "'"""TIK TALK"""" (HAHA I'M DOING THAT ON PURPOSE I KNOW HOW THIS STUFF IS SPELLED, I'M JUST A JERK!) USUALLY MAKE STUFF TO PROFIT OFF EITHER YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, YOUR PHYSICAL MONEY, OR BOTH! SO JUST BECAUSE SOME AESTHETICALLY BALANCED DINGUS WITH AN IPHONE SAYS "HEY I IMAGINED MYSELF INTO HOGGIEWARTS AND NOW I'M DATING SEVERED SNIPE AND WE'RE TOTALLY LEGALLY MARRIED YOU GUYS!!" IN A 16 SECOND VIDEO DOESN'T MEAN THAT IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED! OR THAT IT'S POSSIBLE TO HAPPEN. ESPECIALLY SINCE IT'S STATISTICALLY NOT POSSIBLE FOR YOU. THE HIGHLY ADVANCED SHAMANS, MYSTICS, AND SUPERBEINGS THAT CAN ACTUALLY PULL THAT OFF HAVE EITHER BEEN HUMILIATED INTO SILENCE, ARE HIDING IN THEIR DAY JOBS TO AVOID THE RETRIBUTION OF TIME POLICE AND THE MUCH MORE DISTURBING SLAYER OF THE DISPLACED, WERE KILLED OFF BACK IN THE DARK AGES BY YOUR PRIESTS, OR BUGGERED OFF OUT OF THIS DIMENSION - BECAUSE WHO WOULD STAY ANCHORED SOLELY IN THIS ONE IF THEY HAD ANY KIND OF CHOICE?!

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY SPECIFIC-TO-HUMAN VALHALLAS AND BRAIN PARADISES EXIST JUST OUTSIDE THE THIRD DIMENSION? LOTS! BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET THERE AT THIS RATE! YOU GUYS CAN'T EVEN AGREE THAT 50% OF YOUR OWN KIND ARE WORTHY OF BEING CONSIDERED HUMAN!! SO BASICALLY, YOU CAN HAVE IMAGINARY FRIENDS, YOU CAN MAKE UP ANY KIND OF """REALITY""" YOU WANT AND THEN CONVINCE YOURSELF TO LIVE IN IT - DO IT! DO IT NOW! THAT'S THE GOOD STUFF! THAT'S THE KIND OF THING THAT CAN TURN INTO A VALUABLE CAREER! WHY STAY SANE, IN THIS ECONOMY? BUT DON'T THEN TURN AROUND AND TRY TO GET OTHER PEOPLE TO DO THE SAME THING, BECAUSE EVEN IF THEY COULD, THEY CAN'T ENTER YOUR PARTICULAR BRAIN PARADISE, AND RIDE YOUR PARTICULAR BRAIN WORMS. ANYBODY WHO SAYS OTHERWISE IS SELLING SOMETHING!! THE INTERNET WANTS YOU TO BE BRAIN WARPED, SO YOU CAN BE CONTROLLED! THAT'S THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT!

AND SHOULDN'T YOU BE THE ONE PROFITING FROM YOUR OWN DELUSIONS?