#how to give buck a heart attack

[cannibalhellhound]

I love using my art powers to dress up blorbos

(suggestions for buck are absolutely welcome!! my asks are open)

I don't know what he'd think of this and I don't care because the joy in my face when I did it is worth it. My face hurts from smiling 👍🏼

Refs from: @innovacorsetry, @sunglassesmish and I can't find the og postfor the first pic

[ifwallscouldtalk-atz]

911 is back and i cannot put into words how badly i need to be able to jump forward in time to next Monday.

[lovemebutleavemewild]

John Price goes into security consulting when he retires from the armed forces and ends up working for your company.

On long nights working late, you've made a habit of sneaking out the escape door for a smoke. You learned a long time ago how to deactivate the alarm for the few minutes you need to get your nicotine fix.

The first time he catches you at it, he almost gives you a heart attack, emerging from around the corner in the dark, scowling and folding his arms.

And when he tells you off - because that's what it is, he's completely talking down to you - it immediately gets your back up.

So you keep doing it, just to piss him off. Almost want him to report you so you know you've gotten under his skin, so you know you've won.

On the third night in a week that he catches you at it, he stalks towards you. You watch him cooly, staying calm until he gets up in your face and snatches the cigarette from between your fingers.

"What is your problem?"

He cuts you off, grabbing your arm and spinning you around, pushing your face into the wall.

"My problem?" he growls in your ear. "My problem right now is you, you little brat."

And then he pulls you over to a bench by the wall, dragging you over his lap.

"You," he says, yanking your knee-length skirt up over your waist, "are going to learn to follow the rules, if it kills me."

You fight him viciously for the first few spanks to your bare ass, almost but not quite, bucking him off.

But after a while, you start to feel your lower stomach soften. He notices as soon as you relax into him.

"That's right, darlin'. Know you deserve this for being such a fuckin' bad girl, don'tcha? Been wreckin' my head all week."

He spreads the spanks over your ass and thighs, jolting you further into his knees every time. And even when he stops, your hips keep jutting forward of their own accord, grinding into him.

John reaches down to slip a finger, then two, inside you, and you moan.

"Not so bad doing what you're told is it?" he asks you, pulling out just to rub circles into your clit.

Leans over you as he pushes you over the edge.

"Pretty girl," he croons. "Smile for the security cameras - me and the boys are gonna be watching this 'lil movie for a while."

[theotherbuckley]

Tommy’s dad dies on a Monday.

He checks his emails on a Wednesday. There’s an email from his aunt. It’s only a few sentences. She was always very succinct and to the point.

His dad is dead.

It was a heart attack.

Bastard didn’t even suffer. 

He stares at his laptop screen until the words start to blur together. For an hour, he just sits there, looking at his computer but not really seeing anything at all. His coffee is long since cold. He never even took a sip. 

His mind feels empty, like there’s this fog that’s settled inside, clouding over his thoughts. He’s stuck. His brain doesn’t know how to process this, and neither does his body.

So he stays frozen. Just staring.

He doesn’t notice the time until he feels large arms wrap around him from behind.

“Tommy?” Evan asks. It doesn’t sound like the first time he’s spoken.

“I—“ The words are stuck in his throat. 

Tommy turns around from his chair, blinking a few times, until he manages to say, “My dad died.”

“Are you okay?”

That’s all it takes for Tommy to break.

He opens his mouth, closes. Shakes his head. 

And he just—

Cries.

Full body-wracking sobs overcome his body as he slumps into Evan’s open arms. He shakes, tears streaming down his cheeks as he burrows his face into his boyfriend’s neck. He’s getting snot and tears all over Evan’s shirt but his boyfriend doesn’t complain, just squeezes him tighter as he continues to be overwhelmed by his emotions.

He doesn’t even know why he’s crying. He just can’t seem to stop. 

He cries and trembles in Evan’s arms until he’s run out of tears left to shed. Evan murmurs sweet nothings into his ear, holding him tight and never letting go. 

“I’ve got you. I'm here,” Evan whispers in his ear. 

He feels like he’s run a marathon by the time he’s calmed down enough to pull back from Evan. His hands shake as he wipes the tears from his eyes, Evan’s own warm hands coming to hold his. 

“I don’t— I don’t even know why I’m cry—crying,” Tommy hiccups. He’s sure he must look a mess, red-faced and covered in tears.

Evan gives me a soft look, a small comforting smile on his face as he presses a kiss to Tommy’s forehead.

“You lost your dad. You’re allowed to cry,” Evan says kindly.

Tommy just shakes his head. “But he wasn’t— he wasn’t good.” He has an awful, vile human who never gave two shits about him. Only cared about him being a man, enlisting, stepping up. He doesn't understand why his chest still aches like his loss matters. It doesn't. It doesn't.

Evan wraps his arms around Tommy. He’s practically sitting on him, but Tommy doesn’t mind. Not when it’s Evan.

“He— He was a big part of your life, Tommy,” Evan says, running his fingers through Tommy’s hair. “And now he’s not. You’re allowed to be upset.”

Tommy just nods, collapsing back into Evan, who rubs gentle circles on his back in comfort, pressing a kiss to his forehead. He lets his boyfriend soothe his pain with his touch. He wishes it didn't hurt in the first place. Still doesn't understand why it does. He hated that piece of shit.

He's glad he's dead.

He hiccups as another tear makes it's way down his cheek. Evan squeezes tighter.

“Is there a funeral?” Evan asks softly.

Tommy almost laughs. “There’s no one who cares enough to give him one. He doesn’t even deserve one.”

“But you do,” Evan says sincerely.

That gets Tommy to look up, eyebrows raised in question.

“You deserve to have the closure,” Evan continues. “It’s a lot better than trying to pretend you’re alright when you're not. Trust me.”

“You lost someone?” Tommy asks. Evan’s never talked about it, but maybe—

“No, no. I just know what it feels like to— to bottle your emotions up when it comes to the people who are supposed to love you.”

“I’ll speak to my aunt about a funeral,” Tommy says. Evan gives him a soft smile and a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling him close again, Tommy wasting no time to burrow into the corner of Buck’s neck, soaking up the comfort of his boyfriend.

“I love you,” he murmurs into his shoulder.

“I love you,” Evan repeats back. 

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Stitched Together

Fandom: Marvel (Mob Boss AU)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: You and Bucky used to be so in love and so... ignorant of the roles you had to play, which lead to you breaking up. But that didn't seem to keep you away from each other since you now act as Bucky's nurse whenever he gets hurt.

A/N: Based off my mini fic here.

Bucky Barnes Masterlist

You were used to it by now. In the morning, you'd go into work at the hospital. The pediatrics unit was filled with light and color. You made sure to bring as much joy and light into the lives of the children you helped every day. Then when you came home, you'd do work for the darker side of life.

Bucky Barnes was born for this life. Being the first born son of George Barnes, the position of head of the Barnes Family was immediately his.

But growing up he didn't act like that life was for him. You would know since you two knew each other since you were thirteen. You grew up in the same neighborhood. It wasn't until you turned sixteen that you started dating. You knew who his father was, your own dad knew who his family was. As a detective, he told you time and time again that you needed to stay away from him. Being a hormonal and rebellious teenager, you never listened. You should've.

At eighteen years old was when Bucky killed for the first time. Because he was now a man, his father put him up in a cage fight with another man. It was kill or be killed.

He wasn't the same after. He began to push you away, keep things from you, act like a complete asshole.

Then enough was enough. You broke up with him and even though he hurt you, you never told your father the things Bucky told you. Especially after your father became the chief of police.

You two were ignorant with the roles you had to play in your youth, but reality hit you right when you became adults. You became the dutiful daughter of the chief of police, went to university to become a nurse. You stopped keeping track of Bucky's life, but would hear updates along the grapevine every once in a while.

You were there when George Barnes passed. Well, not necessarily in the room, but you were at the hospital when he passed. You were coming up from your break when you saw Bucky at the elevators. He looked upset.

"Bucky?"

He turned at the sound of his name, "Sw-Y/N. Hey."

"Is everything okay?"

"Uh, my dad. He-He had a heart attack. I'm-He-" you could see how distressed he was, so you pulled him in for a hug.

"Whatever happens, you'll be okay," you whispered in his ear.

He fell limp in your arms. You didn't know it then, but Bucky missed you like crazy and being in your arms again that night saved him from spiraling.

It's later that night that George Barnes dies. After everything he's done and been through, a heart attack was what killed him.

Karma, is what your dad said.

Despite the position George Barnes held, he was well-loved around the city due to him caring for the community. The streets were filled during the procession, your dad and his men keeping an eye out in case anything happened. You were also there for the funeral. You caught glimpse of Bucky and you couldn't breathe for a moment. He was clearly tired and you couldn't blame him, considering how things have been going for him lately.

Despite your father warning you to not make contact with him, you felt like you should.

"I'm sorry, again for your loss, Buck."

He gives you a tired smile, "Thank you again for showing up, Y/N. I-I know your dad probably didn't want you to come."

"He doesn't control every aspect of my life."

"Still. I really appreciate you being here."

"Of course. It's always hard when you lose someone you love." You would know since you lost your mother when you were young.

"Bucky," Sam, Bucky's right hand, calls his name and urges him to follow him.

"I gotta-"

"It's okay. Hope things aren't too stressful for you."

"Thank you. I'll see you around," he says as he departs. You didn't know just how soon you'd end up seeing him.

Three days later, to be exact.

It was late at night when there was a knock at your door. You hold your knife close as you peer through the peep hole of your door. Your eyes widen when you immediately pull the door open.

"Holy shit!" you whisper loudly as Sam drags a bleeding Bucky into your home.

"He didn't want to go to the hospital since we don't know whose people might be working there. So he told me to bring him here."

You guide Sam to your couch where Bucky slumps onto it, "Sorry, Y/N. I didn't know who else to trust right now." You turn on all the nights in your apartment and get a look at him. There's a stab wound in his shoulder. It looks like the bleeding slowed though.

You help Bucky out of his jacket and shirt. You apologize profusely for the pain he's going through.

He dryly chuckles, "You know, when I dreamt about you stripping me, I didn't think it'd be in this context."

You pause and look at him, "You dream about me?"

"You haunt my mind, Y/N." He must be delusional due to the blood loss. Before his father's passing, you hadn't seen nor spoke to him in years. There's no way he'd still be thinking about you after all this time, right?

"I'll be back. I need to grab my first aid kit." You rush to your bathroom and grab the small duffle of all your first aid necessities.

You also grab a bottle of vodka and hand it to Bucky, "Drink up, buttercup."

He frowns and looks at the bottle, "Thought you hated vodka."

"It's not my bottle. America left it from a party I held here," you mumble as you pull on some gloves and begin to clean around his wound. You work in silence as Bucky takes swigs from the bottle. Sam watches from the corner of the room, staying out of your way.

While you work, Bucky takes in your apartment. He takes in the pictures, the decor, the trinkets you have around. This is exactly how he'd imagine your place to be.

"Hey, still with me?" you ask as you begin to thread your needle.

"Yup."

"Okay. This might hurt-"

"Probably not as much as getting stabbed."

You can't help but snort a laugh as you get ready to start stitching Bucky's wound. He grins at the sound of your laughter and you see the sliver the Bucky you once knew.

For the most part, Bucky didn't make much of a sound while you worked. He just kept his eyes on you, taking in every furrowed brow, every twitch of your lip. After all these years, you are still just as beautiful as before.

His heart lurches at what's become of you two. You're practically strangers again after spending so many years apart. His own doing really.

Scared of what could happen to you as he fell deeper into the family business. That's why he behaved the way that he did all those years ago. He was protecting you.

Because after all this time, Bucky Barnes still loves you.

"Alright. We're done. How are you feeling?"

"Sleepy," he mumbles as he tries to sit up, but you keep him down.

"Then sleep. You and your bodyguard can stay here for the night."

The man in the corner snorts, "My name's Sam and I am not his bodyguard."

"Sorry, Sam, you and Bucky are free to sleep here for the night." Sam simply nods.

"You don't have to do this. If your dad finds out-"

"He won't. I won't tell him. And you're hurt, Bucky. Doesn't matter what you do or who you are, I can't, in good conscience, let you leave without knowing you'll be okay after this. Just-Just take this as me wanting to observe my patient for the night."

He settles further onto your couch with defeat, "Alright...you know you should've been a doctor."

"Didn't have the time or money to get my doctorate."

"I can help with the money-"

You shake your head, "It's fine, Buck. I'm happy with my job."

"Just..if you need anything, I'm here to help. That's what my dad for the people of this city and that's what I want to continue to do."

"I know. Thanks."

You stand, collecting your things, "I have some spare blankets, pillows, and toiletries. Lemme grab them."

"Okay," he says and watches as you walk to your bedroom.

Sam moves closer, "So that's her."

"Yeah."

"She's nice."

"Yup."

"And beautiful."

Bucky whips his head to Sam, glaring at him, "Watch it."

Sam holds his hands up, "I can appreciate a beautiful face, man. Besides, she's not yours anymore."

"You know how I feel about her."

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you." Sam says as he plops onto your sofa chair.

You come back with pillows and blankets in arms, "The couch is a pull out, soooo you two will have to share."

"Absolutely not."

"I'm sleeping on the floor."

You snicker, "Okaaay, uh, I have a couch in my room that one of you can take too."

Sam and Bucky look at each other and Sam immediately goes, "I call this bed!" he points to the couch that Bucky's laying on.

Bucky rolls his eyes and you chuckle, "Actually, I think I'd rather have you near me, Bucky, just in case you pull a stitch or start feeling pain again."

"If you're okay with that," he says with a shrug.

"It'll be fine," you respond as you help him sit up and then help him to his feet. He follows you to your bedroom where you show him the couch. You point to the adjoining bathroom, you can take a shower there. I already set out stuff for you and Sam."

"Thanks, Y/N. I really do appreciate it."

"Just doing my civic duty, Buck," you say with a small smile.

He clears his throat, "Yeah. Right. Of course."

"Oh!" you grab a pile of clothes and hold them out, "Here. They're my dad's for some of the nights he stays over."

Bucky can't help but snicker, "If your dad knew-"

"I know," you say with a playful roll of his eyes, "But he's not here and he won't ever know I'm helping you. So go, shower, be careful around your stiches. Call me if you need anything," you turn to set up Bucky's sleeping arrangement, but he grabs you by the wrist.

"Y/N?"

"Yeah?" you ask when you face him again.

He looks at you with soft blue eyes as he murmurs, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," you lean in and press a kiss to his cheek, "Go. Wash all that blood off you."

"Alright," he says and grabs the clothes, going into your bathroom. When the door shuts, you fall onto your bed to give yourself a moment.

A few days ago, you went years without seeing or hearing from Bucky. Now you've seen him twice in less than a week and it's throwing your mind in for a loop.

Hopefully, this will only be a one time thing and you two can go back to being strangers again.

[urdepressedslut]

Hello lovely,

I saw your post that your requests are open, so I will give it a try =)

Imagine Bucky and reader are best friends but they have a huge argument and now they don't talk to each other for days. She's feeling really bad, missing him. He is her most important person and now without interacting with him for days, she's feeling lost and lonely and heartbroken. Maybe she has not a super power and is only a normal human, helping the Avengers with IT or something. Due to the argument with her best friend and not talking to Bucky (Bucky ignores her completely) she begins to feel it not only mental but also physically. She can't eat probably and at the end falls deathly sick.... With a fluffy happy ending and a worried and protective Bucky

Please. That would be nice.

Take care honey

oh my goodness— my heart 😭❤️ the angst is gonna hurt, but i’m such a sucker for it. i had so much fun writing this one, thank you for requesting and i hope you like it🥰

Love Hurts

♡ Pairing: Beefy!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: You and Bucky get into a heated argument, things are said and done and now he won’t speak to you. You don’t think you can handle him ignoring your existence.

♡ Warnings: language, mentions of bucky’s trauma, heavy angst, malnourishment, depression, anxiety/panic attacks, minor injuries, hospitalization, suicidal ideation, self hate, literally hurt just writing this

main masterlist

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | MATURE CONTENT 18+

Your nails bit into your palm, denting the flesh— threatening to pierce the delicate skin. It was all to hold yourself back, distract you from the words that wanted to burst out.

It was becoming a sickening routine, Bucky was reckless and had yet another near death experience on his recent mission. The anxiety and the nerves stopping your body from functioning— the dreaded wait for his jet to arrive back at the compound. You shouldn’t have to be used of receiving the call that he had yet again made a reckless move— but you were starting to discover a pattern.

It did nothing to ease the panic that swirled in your chest every time he left for missions. You’d sob, throwing up everything you had eaten that day— unable to stomach anything with the idea that Bucky was on a mission. You never found your anxiety to be so severe— but when Bucky was even mentioned about going on a mission… it spiked.

That’s where you found yourself in his room, watching him pace the space— avoiding your frustrated stare. You weren’t angry at him per say— you were angry that he didn’t value his life.

“Seriously (Y/n)— you get so worked up over nothing. I’m here and alive— isn’t that enough?” He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration.

You pressed your nails tighter to your palm, yet the pain couldn’t stop your thundering thoughts.

“You’re here and alive now, until you do some stupid shit like this again and are dead!” You hissed, trying to keep your voice low but you didn’t know how much longer you could control yourself.

He glared at you, squinting his eyes in anger and then rolling his eyes.

“Oh for fucks sake— can you stop fucking babying me? I can handle myself!” He raised his voice, his metal arm whirring.

“I’m not babying you— I’m just scared you’re gonna get yourself killed. Do you care about your life at all?” You asked him aggressively, your voice raising just a tad.

He took a long pause, staring at you with his face void of emotion— only annoyance.

“Not really.” He admitted.

You were taken back, although you had these conversations with him a time or twenty. It was an ongoing process to get him to slowly love himself— his past as The Winter Soldier torturing his soul. He was so convinced he wasn’t deserving of anything, not even a roof over his head. It was a struggle to help him, but you weren’t going to give up on him.

“You realize if anything ever happened to you I—” Your voice broke, needing a breath, “Buck I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

You thought you saw his eyes flash with guilt, but before you could linger on the look for too long— his face was hardening again.

“That doesn’t sound like my problem.” He mumbled out, making your eyes widen.

You were extremely taken back from those words, your chest aching painfully— him not knowing what effect those words had on you.

“Are you fucking serious?” You asked him, your face morphing into a hurt expression, mixed with anger. “Can you just do your job without trying to kill yourself?”

His face grew red with rage and he was stomping up towards you— his face inches from yours.

“I am doing my job— very well in fact. Unlike you who just fucking sits here doing nothing!” He defended himself, his breath hitting your face in warm pants.

“Doing nothing? Buck— why are you like this?” You puffed your chest, not backing down from his towering form.

But your words seemed to have hit a nerve, as he shrunk back slightly, narrowing his gaze at you.

“Like what?”

You furrowed your brows, slowing your racing heart from the shouting— you weren’t sure you had said anything bad. Did you?

“What?” You squeaked out, nervous now.

“You said, why am I like this… like what?” He pushed, stepping closer to you now, his face still red with anger but you could see the hurt in his eyes.

You swallowed and wondered how to convince him you didn’t mean anything bad by what you said. But you were almost positive it would be an impossible task to get Bucky to listen.

“Buck, I didn’t mean anythin—”

“What— you think I’m not capable of doing my job? You think I’m still the monster hydra made me?” He spat, his chest rising and falling quicker.

“No, no Buck listen—”

That was definitely not what you meant, you could tell he was spiraling and you were still confused as to why. You would never make him think that.

“After 70 fucking years I finally have a job that I like— that I enjoy doing— I fucking help people! I’m finally doing some good and now you’re telling me I’m not capable of doing it?” He boomed, his chest puffing into yours and your stumbled back slightly. “You think I’m only capable of being a monster? Huh? Is that what you fucking think?”

You were growing scared now, the look in his eyes wild with something and you didn’t like how close he was to you— you knew he’d never hurt you but your fear overwhelmed your senses.

“Friday— call Steve and Sam in here now!” You shouted into the room, and Bucky’s eyes squinted painfully— his metal arm whirring again.

Bucky only saw one thing— you didn’t reassure him that he was thinking irrationally. You didn’t correct him that he wasn’t the monster. Instead you called for help, that you were clearly scared— because you thought he was a monster.

He was at a loss for words and just stared at you, almost through you— as his breathing was only getting heavier at the sight of your fearful eyes.

Not even minutes later, Steve and Sam were busting through the door, taking in the scene and separated you and Bucky.

“Hey— what’s going on?” Steve asked in between the two of you. “Buck, what’s wrong man?”

You couldn’t seem to find the words and just stood speechless as well— the fight startling you. This was one of the worst ones, and it was also one that still left you confused. You cursed yourself for not being careful enough with your words— but it was almost impossible to get through to him when he was on the brink of having an episode.

Sam walked closer to you, his facing morphing into concern as he took in your shocked expression.

“(Y/n)? You okay? Did he hurt you?” Sam whispered, keeping his words only between you two.

You slowly shook your head but still didn’t respond verbally.

“Okay, okay that’s good. You wanna go get a drink from downstairs? Why don’t we take a breather okay?” Sam suggested softly, big brother mode kicking in at the sight of your frazzled state.

Without another word, you left the room with Sam— missing the devastated look from Bucky.

Steve waited until the door shut, then his attention was back on Bucky.

“Buck, you gotta talk to me man— what happened?” He asked softly, watching his friend slowly relax, but it wasn’t from being in a relaxing mood— his body and mind were just exhausted from the argument.

“I fucked everything up. That’s what happened.” He mumbled, turning away from Steve to sit on the edge of his bed.

Steve followed behind but stood in front of him, shaking his head— ready to argue.

“You didn’t mess anything up, arguments happen. You guys will work it out. I know how much you mean to each other.” Steve pointed out, watching Bucky’s face unchanging.

“You didn’t see the way she looked at me— she’s scared of me I—” He shuttered, his breath shaky as he remembered your look, “I fucking scared her.”

Steve’s chest ached, the state of his friend breaking his heart. He knew Bucky meant no harm, and he almost for a fact knew that you knew that too. But Bucky for sure didn’t believe that himself.

“I didn’t see what you saw, but I can guarantee you that she’s not afraid of you. This is (Y/n) we are talking about. You are her world Buck.” Steve tried to convince him.

Bucky shook his head, running his flesh hand through his hair.

“I think I just need to stay away from her for awhile.” Bucky came up with instead.

Steve immediately started shaking his head, knowing that was the last thing he needed.

“Bucky I—”

“Please Steve… I just need some space.” Bucky pleaded, his body sagging in exhaustion.

Steve couldn’t find it in himself to argue with him anymore about this. Maybe he did need some time to himself, to cool down and gather his thoughts. Also Steve wasn’t going to force him to anything ever. After the years his pal went through— he would never make him do anything. He had enough things decided for him, and Steve wasn’t about to stoop to hydra’s level.

Meanwhile down in the kitchen, Sam was getting you a glass of water— standing across from your seated form at the island. He slid the cup across, sending a worried glance at you.

“(Y/n)?” Sam snapped his fingers getting your attention.

You were shaken from your state of staring, but even snapped out of the trance— the anxieties still swirled within you.

“Yeah sorry… I’m here.” You whispered, grabbing the glass and taking a tiny sip.

Sam gave you a quizzical expression, watching you start to slip back into a mindless stare— so he spoke up.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” He asked, genuinely curious what had went down.

He knew— hell everyone knew you and Bucky were extremely close. Best of friends, always there for one another— dancing on the line of strictly friends to lovers. Truthfully, Sam found it completely obnoxious and just wanted you two together already.

“I don’t really know… I think I said the wrong thing— I didn’t mean to make him upset.” You confessed, keeping your eyes on the countertop, not risking a glance to Sam.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up— mistakes happen. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.” Sam told you.

You shook your head, gripping the cup tighter.

“God I hope so… I don’t know what I’d do without him.” You whispered pathetically, tears welling in your eyes.

Sam reached out to rub your arm comfortingly, trying to relax you so you didn’t start crying. He hated to see you cry— made his heart hurt.

“It’s been a long day for everyone, why don’t you go head upstairs and get some sleep. I’m sure things will have blown over by tomorrow.” He suggested and you finally met his gaze, smiling weakly and nodding.

Without saying goodbye, you stood up and headed to your room. Taking Sam’s words and playing them on repeat in your head.

Tomorrow is another day, tomorrow would be better.

God had you hoped that was the case— it only was the beginning on the torment.

You had slept in longer than usual, but overall felt refreshed. The first thing that came to mind when fully waking up was Bucky. Immediately you headed downstairs to find him— needing to talk with him— apologize.

Making it down to the kitchen, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in at the sight of him sitting at the island— sipping at his coffee. You furrowed your brows, thinking he'd be done with his coffee by now, since you had slept in. Your chest ached with guilt with the possibility that he didn't sleep well.

You took a deep breath before making yourself known, although you were sure be could sense you in the room— considering he was a super soldier.

"Morning Buck." You announced, walking around the island so you could face him.

He kept his gaze down at his coffee, finding the cup more interesting than you.

Okay, that’s fair. You thought, you most probably deserved that reaction.

“You sleep okay?” You asked again, picking at the skin on your nails nervously.

Again— he didn’t even lift his head. In fact, he wasn’t even acknowledging you. You waited several minutes for a response, the silence becoming thick with tension and you couldn’t stand it.

“Bucky?” You tried, and this time he lifted his head.

Your heart twinged in your chest at his bloodshot eyes, clear evidence that he hadn’t gotten good sleep. You hated yourself for causing him the stress, especially knowing he was just starting to actually get hours of sleep. It was huge progress compared to his nights either screaming awake or just staring at the walls. But now you had to go and ruin all that progress. You felt sick to your stomach— disgusted with yourself.

“I’m really sorry about last night… I didn’t like how ugly it got and I’m sorry if I said something to upset you— you know I’d never intentionally hurt you.” You told him, picking more aggressively at your nails, causing to nail beds to bleed.

You swallowed nervously when he didn’t answer right away, instead staring at you with… what was that? Disgust? You didn’t know, but you hated the look altogether.

“Bucky, please say something.” You pleaded.

Bucky lowered his gaze to his coffee again, taking a minute before he stood up and looked your way.

“I just need some space.” He told you quietly.

You were relived to have him finally talk to you, but to hear him suggest space between you two— you could almost feel the knife digging into your chest. You tried to keep a neutral expression but otherwise felt your bottom lip quiver.

Without giving you time to respond, Bucky was walking out of the room— leaving you standing there speechless, lungs begging for air. You didn’t want your mind to go immediately to that thought, but you couldn’t ignore it either— he hated you.

“Hey babe, I need you to help me out in the lab tod—” Tony came busting into the room, but immediately shut up once he saw your broken expression. “Honey, what’s wrong? You alright?”

You nodded your head, lying to him and yourself and started waving him off with the fakest smile.

“Yeah— yeah I’m good. Just need to uh— need to get some things done.” You told him, your eyes darting all around the room, the familiar feeling of panic seeping into your being.

Tony gave you a ‘really?’ look and stepped closer to you.

“(Y/n) I’m not blind— I can see you’re upset. Talk to m—”

“Seriously Tony— I’m fine! Just leave it alone!” You told him a little too aggressively.

His face was taken back and you felt guilty immediately, cursing yourself for hurting everyone.

Why are you such a fucking issue? Your mind screamed at you.

You didn’t waste another second and sped walked out of the room, needing to calm yourself down before you ran into any one else. You were spiraling and you needed to just relax— take a deep breath. Maybe you just needed one more day and things would be back to normal.

Yeah… just one more day.

You had hoped that was the case as well… but as always— things only got worse.

Bucky refused to talk to you or even look at you. He’d given you the cold shoulder for almost two weeks now. He would get up and leave the second you entered the room. He couldn’t stand you it seemed.

You couldn’t keep hiding your hurt. At first, you had done a good job at hiding how you were really feeling. Saving the sobbing and attacks for when you were alone in your room. As the days lingered on, you found yourself weak and drained— you didn’t have enough energy to put up a charade anymore.

The whole team were sending you worried looks, and attempted to talk with you. But the second they’d try— you’d bolt. The subject was too sensitive, too raw. You didn’t want to talk to anyone but Bucky— and he hated you.

You had missed so many meals, forgetting to eat with your mental struggles throughout the days. You had been getting no more than two hours of sleep. You were so stressed, so stuck in your own mind that you couldn’t function. Even when you had managed to remember to eat, your stomach would knot up to the point that you were throwing everything up. You were gaunt, basically a real life zombie. You needed help— but you needed Bucky more.

You were laying in bed staring unknowingly into space, it had been hard to focus with no food or sleep in your system— so you had only managed to lay here. Even that was exhausting, no matter how much you laid around— your mind wouldn’t stop the assault. Your anxiety had never been this bad, you were a prisoner to it.

Knocking at your door had you jumping, your heart racing— and for a moment you forgot where you were.

You’re in the compound… yeah that’s right.

You slowed your breathing and swung your legs sluggishly over the edge of the bed to answer it. You weren’t prepared for the sudden dizzy spell, your vision spotting with black and white specks. You tried to blink it off, but suddenly you were toppling to the ground.

You fell to the floor with a loud thump, luckily landing on your front, your hands somehow catching most of your fall— you could already feel the throbbing in your palms.

You didn’t hear the persistent knocking, or the door open. You didn’t even hear the voice speaking from the doorway. It was when a hand landed on your shoulder that you were gasping, forgetting your surroundings once again.

Your eyes met Steve’s and you swore your heart was about to beat out of your chest.

“(Y/n) are you alright?” He asked you, hovering his hands over you— not sure what you had hurt.

You furrowed your brows, looking him over.

“Steve what are… what are you doing here?” You asked genuinely confused.

You watched Steve’s eyes widen and he swallowed nervously— his expression growing more concerned.

“(Y/n) it’s okay… I’ve got you.” Steve hushed, and he was pulling you into his chest, hugging you protectively.

You were still confused but then you tasted one of your stray tears, and you immediately came to your senses. You were crying in Steve’s arms… but why? You were having gaps of time missing from you, this wasn’t the first time this had happened— you just didn’t seem to care.

“Steve… my head hurts.” You slurred into his chest, sagging against him.

You were grateful that he was here, you desperately needed someone around. You were just hoping that someone would’ve been Bucky.

“Okay, let’s get you to Helen. She’s gonna take care of you, okay?” Steve asked you, and you could only give a weak nod.

He knew there was no way you were walking there, so he hoisted you up into his arms, and cradled your head as he started to the med bay.

You just stared blankly at his chest, not really caring if Steve were to throw you off the roof of the building. You just didn’t care.

Steve had gotten you down to her, and she checked you out. Alerting Steve that you were extremely malnourished, dehydrated— an insomniac. She kept listing off all the things Steve was afraid to hear. The whole time he was sure you didn’t hear a thing, although you were in the room— you were just checked out.

Helen eventually left, and Steve took his opportunity to speak with you. He pulled up a chair next to the hospital bed and grabbed your hand.

“(Y/n), what’s going on? You can talk to me— you can’t keep doing this to yourself. Please… just talk to me.” Steve whispered, pleading with you that you would stop torturing yourself.

“He hates me.” You mumbled.

Steve’s eyes widened and he frowned, knowing what you meant. He knew he let this go on for too long.

“(Y/n) he doesn’t hate you. He just needed time to himself, so he co—”

“I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings, I don’t even know what I said to hurt him but I—” You rushed out, the heart monitor beeping frantically, “I’m a horrible person, I didn’t mean to— I didn’t mean to!”

You wheezed out, clutching your chest as you couldn’t catch your breath. Your cheeks glistened with a steady stream of tears, your wheezing only growing by the second.

“Okay, okay (Y/n)— I need you to slow your breathing. You’re okay, he doesn’t hate you. Just take deep breaths okay— even if you can’t just try. I’m here.” He tried to coach you, but this wasn’t his thing.

Now he was starting to get mad at his friend, Bucky shouldn’t of let this go on for this long.

You followed his chest rising and falling, staring at him as he tried to calm you down. Your breaths were heavy and painful sounding. Steve was about to say something but stopped himself when he saw your eyes look behind him.

He turned and saw Bucky standing in the doorway— his face paled. Truthfully, he looked like he was going to be sick.

“(Y/n)?” He whispered, his heart breaking at your state.

He had ran into Helen in the kitchen and was informed of your condition— he didn’t believe it and had to see for himself. He was shocked to find you like this.

Your tears only edged on from his appearance and you shook your head in shame.

“I’m sorry Bucky! Whatever I did, I’m sorry!” You sobbed and Bucky ran to the bed, kneeling down and taking your hands into his.

“Doll it’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here— I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you… I’m sorry.” He rushed out, shushing your cries, watching you slow your breathing at his words. “There we go, just keep breathing with me. I’m here, you’re okay.”

He kept repeating himself, making sure you knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

Steve knew you were in good hands and slowly snuck out of the room— knowing you two needed to talk.

Bucky tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, letting his fingers trail down your cheek to your jaw. You couldn’t help the way your face leaned into his touch, it felt like it had been forever since the last one.

Your breathing had slowed down, and now you just stared up at him— eyes glossy with more tears. You felt so many emotions. You felt relived, but also angry and hurt. Above all— you needed to know what you did to upset him. The guilt still ate away at your heart, and even just the memory of the argument had your chest aching.

“What did I do?” You whispered, making his eyes shoot up to yours, concern painting his face.

“You didn’t do anything.” He told you, and you furrowed your brows.

You were still anxious— he hadn’t answered your question. Even more so— if you didn’t do anything then why did he ignore you?

“Then why?”

“Why what (Y/n)?” He dared to ask, and you scoffed— ripping your hands out of his.

The anger was approaching.

“Why did you shut me out?” You wondered, and he only let his eyes cast down to the bed— making you angrier. “You ignored me for two weeks! Two fucking weeks you just acted as if I didn’t exist! Do you know how much that fucking hurts?”

You were breathing heavy again, but this time it wasn’t from panic— it was the full force of all your anger bursting out.

He lifted his eyes to you, and you saw how broken he looked. How your state had affected him.

“I could never do that to you Buck— I would never do that to you! You’re my everything! I don’t trust anyone as much as I trust you!” You raised your voice, while he stayed silent. “If I didn’t do anything then why would you— why—”

You broke out into a sob, covering your face with your hands. You felt good getting all the built up anger out— but now you felt extremely guilty. The pitiful face of Bucky staring at you, causing your heart to hurt all over again. It didn’t matter what happened, you always ended up hurting others.

“(Y/n) I’m so sorry I— god I fucked up. I didn’t ever mean to hurt you, please know that. You’re my other half, and no one has ever been there for me like you have.” He spoke through a tight throat, swelling with emotion.

You uncovered your face and just stared at him a little longer, still incredibly hurt from his actions— but you knew you couldn’t stay mad at him. You so badly wanted to forgive and forget— and just wrap him in your arms like you both needed.

“It’s hard to explain what’s wrong with me to someone when I don’t even understand what’s wrong with me— I just know I’m fucked up. I’m broken beyond repair.” His voice broke, his own eyes welling with tears.

You didn’t have it in you to keep up an angry facade, and so you reached out and took his hand in yours. His face almost immediately lit up, his breathing slowing at your touch.

“Try me.” You whispered, watching Bucky take a deep breath before he spoke again.

“The night of our fight…” He started, and you swallowed in having to remember that night. “I had never seen you look at me like that.”

You stayed silent, afraid to open your mouth and have a sob escape. You could feel it bubbling up— the memory playing back through your mind.

“You looked at me like you were scared. You looked at me like I was a monster.” He confessed and it all made sense to you now.

It wasn’t about what you said, it was your reaction that disturbed him to no ends. Even if you couldn’t control your reaction in the moment— you still felt guilty for causing him pain of remembering the hydra days.

“Oh Buck…” You whimpered, trying to pull him close— but he pulled away before he could reach your embrace.

“No— you don’t get to be nice to me after what I did. I promised I would never hurt you and I did— you’re in here because of me! I don’t deserve your forgiveness!” He raised his voice, and you weren’t scared of him— just concerned.

“I wasn’t scared of you Bucky, you just caught me off guard. Things were heated— I’m not afraid of you and I most definitely don’t think you’re a monster.” You tried to convince him.

“I really hope you’re not lying because if you were afraid of me… god I don’t know what I’d do. If you never wanted to see me again— that’s fine. Whatever you want, but I can’t live knowing you’re afraid of me.” He whimpered out.

“I wouldn’t lie to you.”

He nodded his head, knowing damn well you’d never lie. That was one thing he loved about you— you were so honest. Keeping it real with him, even if he didn’t wanna hear it. He could count on you for the truth.

“I still don’t deserve your forgiveness.” He argued.

“Well too bad, I’m forgiving you anyway.” You finally told him and he felt his chest expand.

Like he could finally breath.

“Why?” He wondered.

You knew it was the line you two had been dancing on forever— but you knew if there was ever a time to say it. It was now.

“Because I love you.” You admitted quietly.

His eyes widened just slightly, and his breath stuttered. He had always had a feeling what you two had was more than friends, he just never spoke up about it. Of course he loves you too— god he loves you so much. That’s why the thought of you being scared of him was enough to pull him away. He couldn’t bear being around you if you were frightened by him. He couldn’t live with himself. More importantly he now discovered, he really couldn’t live without you.

“I love you so much.” He confessed back as your tears leaked down your cheeks.

You pulled his arm, and he let you pull him to the bed— close enough where you could cup both his cheeks.

“Don’t ever do that to me again, please. I need you Bucky— life is not livable without you.” You cried, kissing his forehead to which he leaned into your lips.

“Never again— I promise.”

This time, he wouldn’t break it.

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TAGLIST: @engie115 @kmc1989 @ghostofwinter @silverfire13 @goldylions @potatothots @billy-reads @hanihoney88 @skittle479 @hereticdance @mentalidrainedfangirl @natashassandwich @marvelogic @soul-system @alinasmcu @almosttoopizza @lilbabygirll @sebastiansstanswhore @yujyujj @jasminocano

[bunnyrafe]

𓊆ྀིDO YOU TRUST ME? — “rafe always has his motives.”𓊇ྀི

content / warnings -> 18+, MDNI. 1k. dark / taboo themes ahead — please read at your own risk. ♥︎ gif credit f!reader, kook!reader, dark!rafe, oral (f. receiving), manipulation & persuasion, no protection, baby trapping.

For as long as you can remember you wanted your own family. A big house, a doting husband, a cute baby. All of it and more. Surely for a girl like you who was born spoiled and into a kook household it’s obtainable. Except your prince charming isn’t anything like your family imagined.

“But daddy, I love him!” You find yourself yelling more often than you’d like to admit despite how much your parents try to tell you he’s trouble. And unfortunately at the end of the day they’re right— Rafe Cameron is trouble.

Every inch of him. But every inch of him is also yours. Yours to cling to and lean on, and to daydream about. Your romance started with tipsy nights at the country club before it became loud house parties and drugs that would give your parents heart attacks; it was innocent before it was anything else. That’s what they don’t understand. That’s what you remember as you hang off of his arm, walking back to the truck with your little sundress swaying around your thighs.

You’re the sweetest girl he’s ever known, which is what saves you from most of his fury. It’s a match made in Heaven as far as you’re concerned, but it’s easy to be blinded when there’s constant wedding bells ringing in your head. 

“You’re so handsome, Rafe.” You babble the words out with a hand on either side of his face, looking at him as if he hung the stars in the sky just for you to marvel at. And he’s not exactly sure what he did to deserve someone like you in his life when he’s so twisted, yet he doesn’t dare to question it.

“Think so, baby?” He teases while laying you down on your plush bed. Your parents are out for the night— perfect opportunity to make up for all the times you wanted him but couldn’t have him right there with you.

You hum in response. The calm before the storm, as your breathing picks up in the next few moments as Rafe trails down your body. Leaving hot kisses all over your skin that have you melting against your duvet. You’re too easy to mess with. He can get your pretty head spinning in seconds. 

“I wanna… try something tonight, sweetheart,” he mumbles against your chest, nosing at the neckline of your dress and your cleavage, “do you trust me?” 

Of course you trust him— more than anyone you’ve ever known. He’s your first love, after all.

As expected you’re completely stripped in the following moments. Rafe’s face is buried between your thighs for what must be an hour once he’s had his fill of kissing and teasing you enough to have you whining. Your whines become mewls in no time once he pins your knees to your chest and dives right in. Murmuring nonsense about how he could eat your sweet cunt for the rest of his life, prompting your face to burn and your legs to twitch.

His mouth is arguably the most dangerous thing about him.

He’s slick in the way he talks and greedy in the way he eats, making a mess of your cunt as you witness it all with tears brimming at your lash line from the pleasure every time he circles your clit. With his chin covered in your arousal that’s all over his tongue, too. You can taste yourself on him once he finally travels up your body, scooping the overstimulated mess that you are up in his strong arms to cradle.

“Ready for me, baby?” He grunts into your mouth, “Think you can take it right now?”

You feel the it in question pressing up on the plushness of your thigh through his jeans. The heat in your stomach nearly burns. Your hips buck in anticipation, and you feel Rafe grin against your cheek while you huff out a pathetic noise. And finally, you understand what he meant— what he wants to try— when he doesn’t bother to grab a condom after unbuckling his belt and freeing his cock.

“Rafey,” you begin, because you may be a bit hazy but you’re not that gone yet.

“Shhh, shhh. It’ll be fine, sweetheart,” he coaxes, pressing his forehead to yours while he stares into your glossy eyes. His own seems darker, something beyond lust pooling in his irises, “lemme feel this pretty pussy properly…”

You can’t really argue with that. Especially when you feel so empty, when there’s a dull ache between your thighs. You need him. And the “thank you, baby” he grunts out while he spreads your folds with the tip of his cock before pressing a sweet kiss to your lips makes it all worth it.

Along with the way he holds your waist as he fucks you, pressing sloppy kisses to your calves as your knees are hooked over his shoulders— “My pretty girl,” he groans down at you, watching your tits bounce in time with his thrusts while you struggle to say anything and claw at his forearms with baby pink nails. 

You’re creaming all over him, and the sight and feel of it all is even better now that there isn’t a condom in his fuckin’ way, as he says. It’s borderline numbing for both of you every time he fucks back into you, grinding your hips up against him with the grip he has on you in one swift movement each time. You can feel him so deep. He’s ruining your cunt for anyone else, not that they’d ever have a chance.

Because most importantly he’s going to make sure that you’re always by his side, and that your parents and his own will finally take him seriously. If he has to give you a baby to do that, then so be it— Rafe always has his motives.

The sun shines through your windows. However you’re not feeling very bright as Rafe looms over you, staring down at the pregnancy test in your lap. You sniffle not once but twice while wishing those two red lines would just go away.

That they would become one.

Rafe’s fingers find themselves tucked under your chin, tilting your head upwards so you’ll finally look at him. 

“You should be grateful, y’know…” He says simply, “I gave you what you always wanted.”

©BUNNYRAFE 2024

[kenacoki]

A Night To Remember

// Pairing // Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley x Fem!Reader

// Genre // fluff

// Summary // With your birthday right around the corner, the 118 decide to throw you a surprise birthday party. Unbeknownst to you, that wouldn’t be the only surprise of the night…

// Word count // 3.5k

// Warnings // none!

// Dividers // sister-lucifer

“No, no, no…a little to my left—yep. Perfect!” Buck glances down at the clipboard in his hand as he checks off the final box on the list. “And that’s it!”

Hen and Eddie look at each other as they descend from their ladders, both stepping back to admire the banner.

‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY (Y/N)!’

“It looks great, Buck.” Hen smiles as she spares a glance behind her to the entrance of the firehouse. “Does Bobby have the cake done yet?”

“Yep! He had to let it cool for a minute, but he’s up in the loft icing it now.” Buck explains as he sets down the clipboard. “I’m going to go change before (y/n) gets here.”

Eddie checks the time on his phone, “Better hurry, man. She should be getting here anytime.”

By the time Eddie looks back up, Buck is already gone from his sight. He laughs to himself as he trods up the stairs to the loft, “He’s hopeless.”

Eddie’s only upstairs for a few moments before he hears your voice calling out from downstairs.

“Hello! Buck…Hen…Eddie…? Where is every-”

“SURPRISE!”

The abrupt chorus of cheers catches you off guard causing you to panic at first. Jumping slightly, you look up towards the loft and see most of the crew peering down over the railing looking at you.

“Jesus Christ, are you guys trying to give me a heart attack…” you laugh, hustling up the stairs. As you reach the loft, you feel your breath hitch in your throat at the sight of the decorations.

The room is filled with twinkling lights, giving off a dreamy atmosphere. The tables are adorned with white tablecloths and celestial-themed centerpieces, adding to the starry ambiance. The walls are adorned with streamers of various shades of dark blue and black, resembling the color of the sky after the sun goes down. The entire space has an almost whimsical touch.

“Oh wow…” you glance around the room in disbelief, overwhelmed with happiness. You let a shaky breath escape your lips, “You…you guys did all of this for me?”

“Is it someone else’s birthday and we don’t know it?” A voice speaks up from behind you…Buck. You whip around and catch sight of your best friend hustling up the loft stairs, “Cause the cake says (y/n)…and that’d be a real pain to change.”

A smile curls at your lips as you playfully roll your (e/c) eyes, “Ha. Ha. Where’d you learn that joke? The back of a cereal box?”

Buck’s hand plops down onto the top of your head as he ruffles your (h/c) hair, causing it to become messy.

“Hey!”

Buck laughs and walks over beside Eddie. You grumble to yourself as you attempt to fix your hair. While you’re doing this, Bobby quietly grabs the chocolate cake he’s prepared and carefully walks over to you.

“Happy birthday to you…” Your head snaps around as you hear Bobby begin to sing, your eyes widening at the sight of the cake.

The rest of the 118 starts to chime in, “Happy birthday dear, (y/n)…” Bobby holds the cake out in front of you, and the reflection of the candle on the cake flickers in your eyes.

“Happy birthday to you!” With a deep breath, you close your eyes and gently blow the candle out…

“What’d ya wish for?” Chimney questions, taking the pan from Bobby as he starts to cut slices of cake for everyone.

For a moment, your gaze drifts over to Buck…his face contorted in a smile at something that Eddie’s said. The outer corners of his eyes are crinkled from how hard he’s smiling. You can’t help it as your heart flutters in your chest at the sight.

Of course, it’s right then Buck would avert his attention to you. Your gazes lock briefly…you can feel the hair on the back of your neck raise as your cheeks take on a slight twinge of pink. Coughing, you avert your attention back in the direction of Chimney.

“If I told you, then it wouldn’t come true. Do you want that for me, Chim? For my wish to die.” You joke, attempting to cover the flustered expression on your face.

Bobby smiles as he rolls his eyes at your behavior, letting Chimney place a piece of cake on his plate. Chimney places a piece onto his plate, “You know, this whole surprise party idea was Buck’s, believe it or not.”

His brown eyes meet yours as he places a piece of cake on your plate, “The man is a menace when he gets a clipboard.”

The group can’t help but chuckle at Chimney's comment, Hen and Eddie giving Buck a sly smile. Meanwhile, Buck’s face turns a light shade of red in embarrassment. You smile in amusement at Chim’s teasing.

Buck clears his throat, trying to change the subject, “Anyway…” he mutters, a hint of redness still apparent on his cheeks as he approaches Chimney. “Give me a slice of cake.”

Chimney dramatically groans before plopping a piece down on Buck’s plate, “There you go, buckaroo.”

Buck looks at him unamused as he strides toward you, his voice quiet so only you can hear him.

“C’mon…” He walks over to the emergency exit door. Your brows furrow in confusion as you cautiously trail behind him, cake still in hand.

“Uhh…where are we going?” You question, watching as Buck uses his behind to open the door. He brings his finger to his lips, silently shushing you.

“You’ll see…” The two of you start up the stairs, the noise from the party slowly fading into the background as you get closer to the roof. Your mind is filled with curiosity and anticipation as you follow him, your guys' steps echoing throughout the stairwell.

Reaching the top of the stairs, he pushes open the door and steps outside onto the roof of the firehouse. The warm night air of L.A. surrounds you as you step outside, the heavy door closing behind you. The only noise provided being the sounds of the city off in the distance.

Buck walks to the edge of the roof that overlooks the city, taking in the bright lights. He sets his plate of cake down on the parapet surrounding the roof, he puts his hands in his pockets. There’s a small, almost contemplative smile on his face.

“You better have a good reason for dragging me away from my party, Buckley.” You jokingly tease, settling yourself beside him. You rest your elbows on the stone parapet, turning your attention towards Buck.

He glances at you from the corner of his eye as you speak, his eyebrows raising in amusement. He lets out a small chuckle as he turns to fully face you.

“Oh come on, am I not allowed to have a private moment with you on your birthday.” He teases, a wide smile on his face.

He slowly takes a step closer to you, nervously rubbing at the back of his neck. The smile on his face is coy like he’s got something up his sleeve.

“I uh, wanted to be the first one to give you your birthday present.”

Your eyebrows raise at his words. He-he got you a gift? A wave of curiosity fills your mind as you wonder what he could have possibly gotten you…

He reaches into his back pocket, his hand emerging with a small, crumpled-up black velvet bag. He holds it out to you, a sheepish grin on his face, “Here ya go. Happy birthday.”

You tentatively reach out and take the bag, your heart skipping a beat as your fingers brush against his. Your heart pounding in anticipation as you bring the bag closer to you.

You slowly open the small bag, your eyes widening as you peek inside. Reaching inside, your fingers brush against something cold and metal. You glance up at Buck curiously…just what exactly did he get you?

Holding the object in your hand, you raise it to eye level so you can see it properly. Your breath catches in your throat as you get a good look at the item in front of you. It’s a delicate golden necklace, a small sunshine charm with your initials engraved on it dangling from the center…

Your heart involuntarily skips a beat at the sight of the necklace, any words instantly dying in your throat. You look up at Buck, your eyes meeting his with a look of complete shock and awe on your face.

Buck smiles back at you, a hint of shyness in his expression. He looks almost nervous as if he’s waiting for you to say something, “You, uh, like it?” he asks, a small bit of uncertainty in his tone.

You open and close your mouth a few times, struggling to find the words. You’re completely stunned by the gift, your heart swelling with emotions. After a moment, you manage to find your voice.

“I…I-It’s beautiful..” you whisper. “I love it.”

Buck’s crooked smile widens, his nervous expression turning to one of pride. He clears his throat, his eyes studying you for a moment, “Do you want me to put it on you?”

Your heart nearly beats out of your chest at his question, the idea of having him put the necklace on you making your heart race in your chest. It’s such a simple, innocent act…and yet, here you are feeling like this. A small shiver runs down your spine as you look up at him; the butterflies in your stomach back in full gear.

“Would you?”

Buck’s eyes seem to gleam at your question, “Yeah, of course. Turn around for me.” he replies, his voice soft.

You spin around slowly, your back now facing him. Your heart is pounding like crazy, every fiber of your being filled with anticipation as you feel him step up right behind you. Buck basically pressed against your back. You feel his fingers brush against the nape of your neck, his warm touch sending jolts of electricity shooting throughout your body. You have to refrain from involuntarily shivering as he leans closer to you.

Buck is incredibly gentle as he brings the necklace to your neck. You feel the cool gold of the necklace against your skin, the metal sending another shiver down your spine. His fingers graze the back of your neck, his nails brushing against your skin as he carefully fastens the clasp.

The feeling of his touch against your skin is enough to almost drive you insane. Your heart thundering in your chest as you desperately try to control yourself.

Slowly, you turn around to face him, one of your hands instantly reaching up to touch the necklace that’s now sitting delicately on your collarbone. As you look up at Buck, you notice the way he’s staring down at you, his eyes taking in the sight of you with the beautiful necklace around your neck.

Buck stares down at you for a moment, his eyes taking in the way the necklace hangs across your collarbone as you toy with it with your fingers. He seems unable to tear his gaze away like you’re a piece of art that he’s admiring.

After a moment, he seems to catch himself, and he clears his throat softly, “It, uh, looks good on you…” he mutters quietly.

A small smile immediately forms on your face at his words, your chest fills with a warm, fuzzy feeling. You couldn’t deny that knowing he bought this and put it on you sent butterflies through your stomach, “Thank you...”

Buck’s smile warms at your response. He reaches out and gently fiddles with the necklace, his fingers brushing against your skin as he toys with the small sunshine charm, “I…I was hoping you’d like it. I wanted to get you something special for your birthday.”

You feel your stomach flutter as his fingers keep brushing against your skin, the sensations overwhelming you. You swallow down the lump in your throat, trying to compose yourself as you speak again. “It’s-it’s absolutely perfect, Buck. I’m so grateful you got it for me.”

Buck’s eyes meet yours as you speak, he seems to study you for a moment. He’s still standing incredibly close to you, so close that you can practically feel his body heat and breath on your face. The butterflies in your stomach are fluttering wildly, your heart pounding in your chest…you break your gaze away and look back towards the rooftop door.

“We…we should uh, get back to the party before—”

However, before you can finish, Buck slowly reaches his hand out and places it on your cheek; his touch sending another jolt through your body. He gently guides you to look back at him, his blue eyes locking with yours. You can see the fire in them, a hint of something in his gaze that you can’t quite decipher.

“I-I want to give you one more thing..” he says, his voice quieter than before.

Your heart skips a beat at his words, the thought of another present from Buck sends even more anticipation through you. Your mind races, unable to even fathom what it could be…you nod at his words, your own voice now a whisper.

“Yeah?”

Buck nods in response, his thumb gently caressing your cheek in the process. He hesitates for a moment, almost as if he’s debating how to proceed, “Just- just close your eyes. I want this to be a surprise.”

Your mind is spinning as he speaks, your thoughts racing a mile a minute. You give him a tiny nod, the anticipation making your hands shake. You close your eyes like he asked, your mind racing with a million different questions.

Buck’s touch disappears from your face for a moment, your heart clenches at the loss of contact. You hear him shifting, his body moving and his feet shuffling against the roof. After a moment, you feel his touch on your cheek again, his hand moving back to its original place. He gently guides your head towards him.

As you keep your eyes closed, your heart is practically racing out of your chest as you wait for what’s about to happen. Then suddenly, you are completely overwhelmed with the scent of him, the intoxicating scent of his cologne filling your nose.

He lets out a shaky breath, “You-you mean the world to me…” His tone is slightly pleading as if he’s begging you to trust him.

You’re tempted to open your eyes, curiosity making you itch to see what he’s about to do..your mouth opens as you start to question what he’s doing—

But before you can speak, you’re interrupted by a feeling of his soft lips pressed against yours. Despite being told to keep your eyes closed, they immediately shoot open. All thought leaves your mind as he kisses you, your body instantly responding to his touch. He’s incredibly gentle, his lips softly moving against yours like he’s afraid to push you too far.

You feel his hand on your cheek drift up into your hair, his fingers tangling in the strands. he gently tilts your head back, the action pushing the kiss even deeper. Your mind is overwhelmed with sensations, the feeling of his body against yours, of his lips moving in unison with yours; your eyes flutter back shut.

You raise your hands instinctively, bringing them to his torso and clutching onto the soft fabric of his henley shirt. The need for air becomes too much, causing you two to break apart from one another.

Buck’s breath is shaky as he rests his forehead against yours. Your faces are still just centimeters away from each other. You slowly open your eyes, your vision still slightly blurred by the shock of what just happened. His eyes stare back at you, a mixture of emotions swirling behind them.

He looks completely flustered, his expression filled with a mixture of awe and slight worry. His hand is still on the side of your face, his other hand resting on the dip of your waist; he’s still holding you incredibly close.

You’re both quiet for a moment, neither of you wanting to be the first to say anything. As your heart pounds, your mind still struggling to process how this just happened. Buck finally breaks the silence, clearing his throat and loosening his grip on you.

“I-I’m sorry I…I couldn’t stop myself... I just…” he mutters, his voice shaky and filled with a hint of uncertainty, he looks like he’s scared you’re going to hate him for what he just did.

You’re frozen for a moment, still trying to recover from the shock of what just happened. However, you can’t ignore the fact that as shocked as you are, you absolutely loved every second of that kiss. Your heart flutters and you bring your hand up to his cheek, your fingers caressing his skin gently.

“Don’t…Don’t apologize..”

Buck’s eyes widen slightly at your words, shock, and relief appearing on his face as he realizes that you’re not mad. He gently leans his face into your hand as you touch his cheek, his body relaxing as he realizes that you’re not going to yell at him.

“You, uh, you’re not upset that I did that..?” he says, some of the shakiness still in his tone.

You almost scoff at how ridiculous that sounds. You’re the exact opposite of upset, and it shocks you that he doesn’t know that.

“Upset? No way.” you reply, your heart still fluttering at the idea of him doing that, of him kissing you so intensely, “Why would I be upset about something that I’ve wanted for so long..?”

Buck’s eyes widen even more at your words, his expression morphing from slight shock to disbelief.

“Y-you-you’ve-you want-” He seems momentarily stunned, like he’s not quite believing what you just said. He swallows the lump in his throat.

“You-you’ve wanted me to do that?” He asks, his voice a tad bit quiet.

You nod slightly at his words, heat rising back up to your cheeks. It’s almost comical how surprised he looks that you wanted him to kiss you, or that you like it. You smile slightly when you respond.

“Why else do you think my heart’s beating a mile a minute?” You tease. “Of course, I’ve wanted you to do that..”

Buck’s expression changes even more at your words, now shifting from slight shock to pure bewilderment. He’s looking at you as if he’s not quite sure he’s hearing everything right.

“B-but…you’ve never said anything to me..never gave me any kind of hint..” His tone is still slightly hesitant.

You sigh, leaning against the parapet and looking back out at the city, “I…I never thought that you felt the same.”

“You thought…you thought I didn’t feel that way?” he asks, his words filled with disbelief.

You sheepishly nod at his words.

“I…I mean...yeah. I didn’t think you were at all interested in me. Honestly, I thought you just saw me as a friend.” You reply, your heart clenching at the realization that you had both been pining for each other this whole time, both thinking the other didn’t want more.

Buck looks at you for a moment, completely stunned at that information. His eyes are wide, the look of surprise still etched on his face as he speaks again.

“So what you’re telling me is…we’ve been idiots this whole time..?”

You nearly laugh at the statement, realizing that he was completely right. You both thought the other didn’t feel that way when in reality, both of you wanted the same exact thing.

“Yeah…yeah I guess we have...” You gently respond.

Buck continues to stare at you for a moment longer before small, toothy grin forms on his face. He shakes his head slightly, he can’t stop himself from letting out a small chuckle at the ridiculousness of the situation. You can’t help but laugh along as you slide your other hand down and intertwine yours with Buck’s.

You two laugh for a moment; You have both been pining for each other this whole time and had really no idea. After a second you both manage to regain somewhat of your composure, Buck’s smirk still on his face.

“You ready to get back to your party?”

You let out a dramatic sigh before rolling your eyes. At the moment, the last thing you really wanted to do was go back to your party and pretend everything was normal. Hell, you’d just kissed your best friend who you’d had a major crush on for years.

“Ugh. Yeah... I guess we should.” You say, your words laced with a hint of playful sarcasm.

Buck chuckles under his breath at your sarcasm, clearly amused at your demeanor. He gives your hand a small squeeze as he responds, “C'mon. The faster we get back down there, the faster we can leave and go do something else..”

Your heart flutters at the way he emphasizes the words “Go do something else”. You know exactly what he’s referring to, he wanted to be alone with you as much as you wanted to be alone with him. You nod slightly at him, smiling as you respond.

“That sounds like an absolutely fantastic idea…”

[ravenromanova]

Please be mine

Pairings: Roommate Bucky x Female reader (Best friends to lovers)

Warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNDER 18. Daddy kink, Size kink, Fingering, Sex in a tub, Breeding kink. DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNDERAGE!!!!!!!!!!

Summary: Bucky helps when youre stressed out

Kinktober masterlist - Main masterlist - Send me requests!!!!

~

The cool autumn air hit your skin as you walked back to your apartment after finishing your last class of the day. You trudged along the way wishing that you brought a jacket today. Luckily the walk to your apartment wasnt that long so you weren’t in the cold all that long. When you made it back to your apartment your roommate and best friend Bucky was already home so you didn’t have to bother unlocking the front door.

“Hey sweets” Bucky greeted you when you walked through the door. His warm voice sent a shiver down your spine as he spoke.

“Hey Buck” Your voice was small and sounded very defeated when you spoke. Bucky stood up from his place on the couch and walked over to where you were in the kitchen. He stood in front of you and ran his hands up and down your arms in a soothing motion.

“What’s wrong sweets?” He asked causing you to bury your head in his chest and groaning. Bucky laughed a little and wrapped his strong arms around your back and started rubbing it.

“Mrs.Harkness gave us a ten page essay assignment thats due next week. So not only do i have to come up with a topic for that but i also have the paper to finish for Mr.Starks class, AND i have a test for Ms.Potts the same day the essay is due” Your words were muffled as you spoke but Bucky got the gist of it. He put his finger underneath your chin and tilted your head so you looked up at him.

“First you need to breathe before you go into a panic attack. Second i know you have a lot of work to do but you need to relax.” You were about to say something but then he put his finger against your lips. “No arguing printsessa“ He said in a little bit of a firmer tone and you didn’t have the energy to fight so you just nodded.

“Good girl now go sit on the couch and I’ll run you a bath” Bucky says walking you to the couch and then he kisses your head before he walks off to the bathroom. You sit on the couch trying not to blush and swoon from how sweet he’s being.

You and Bucky had met your junior year of high school and since then the two of you were inseparable. So naturally when you two both got accepted into NYU you asked him if he wanted to get an apartment with you. He accepted the offer telling you he’d love nothing more. And your friendship only grew stronger after that and you even started to fall for him. Your feelings grew for him each day and when he took care of you it just made then stronger.

What you didn’t know was that the reason he did all those things for you was because he was madly in love with you. Bucky loved to take care of you when you were stressed or sick. It made his heart feel all fuzzy when you would let him take care of you, the smile you would give him whenever he did melted his heart. Unfortunately you two were completely oblivious to how the other felt even though all your friends told you.

“Come on printsessa” You heard him call for you from the bathroom. You made your way to the bathroom and smiled at the setup. He lit your favorite candles, added your bath salts and bubbles, got your favorite book, snacks, hot chocolate and then laid your clothes on the counter for you when you were done.

“Thank you Jamie” The words were soft as they passed your lips making him smile. He walked up to you and wrapped you in his arms.

“You’re welcome sweets” His lips found their way to your forehead and your knees almost gave out. He kissed your head again before he started to walk out of the bathroom to give you your privacy.

You dont know what came over you but you grab his hand to stop him from leaving. He looked at you confused as you grabbed his hand and pulled him a little closer to you.

“Stay” You whispered looking up at his blue eyes. His confusion grew more as you spoke.

“What?” He asked and you wrapped your arms around his neck causing his breath to catch in his throat.

“i said stay” You repeated yourself and Bucky’s heart started racing.

“Y-You want me to stay in here while you take a bath?” He questioned making you laugh a little.

“I want you to take it with me” His eyes widened at your words and you swore he almost choked.

“I-I what?” Bucky’s voice was shaky as he spoke. It’s not that he hadn’t thought of it but he never expected you to take such a bold approach.

“You said i needed to relax…and i want to relax with you.” Your voice dropped an octave causing a shiver to run down his spine. Bucky nodded and slowly took off his shirt. You walked over to the sink with your back towards him before you slowly started taking off your clothes. He watched you undress and he swore he almost died right there. Never in a million years did he think he’d ever see you like this, naked and vulnerable. Once he undressed he walked up behind you and wrapped his hands around your bare waist.

His hands needed the soft skin making you groan in delight. He took your hands and lead you to the tub letting you get in first then he sat behind you. You laid back on his chest as his hands were around your waist again. It was in this moment the both of you knew you were no longer friends. His hands were under the water gripping and rubbing your skin with need. You rested your head on his chest and took one of his hands and moved it lower.

Bucky’s breath hitched in his throat when his fingers came into contact with your pussy. “Are you sure? Because if we do this there’s no going back. You’re mine” He said lowly against your ear causing you to shiver.

“I’m sure…I wanna be yours” You whispered looking up at him and he crashed his lips into yours taking his hands out of the water to cup your face. The kiss was everything you wished it would be with him, his lips were soft and he tasted like cherries.

Bucky turned you around and sat you over his lap so he could see your pretty face when he fucked you. His hands dipped back into the water and started to rub your pussy.

“So fucking tight” He praised sticking one of his thick fingers in you making you moan.

“Oh fuck” Your head starts to go fuzzy when Bucky curls his finger and hits your g-spot. He puts another one in making you grip onto his shoulders for dear life.

“So fucking perfect” His voice is gruff as he whispers in your ear before he starts kissing your neck. He takes his time leaving marks on your neck while fingering you with ease.

“I-I’m gonna cum-oh fuck-“ You feel your first orgasm rip through you when he hits that spot just right. Bucky smiles into your neck and continues to fuck your through your high.

“You did so good baby” Bucky praised you again giving you a sweet and gentle kiss. He then lifts you out of the tub not caring about the water all over the floor and brings you to his room. You giggle when he tosses you onto his bed and crawls to you so he’s on top.

“Are you sure you want this? We can still stop and pretend this never happened if thats what you want.” He asks rubbing his thumb over your cheek. Bucky didn’t want to stop but he also didn’t want you to do anything you’d regret and end up hating him.

“I’m sure you have no idea how bad i want this Bucky please fuck me” You beg clawing at his chest bringing him closer to you.

“Okay okay pretty girl” He chuckles moving down to your thighs. He kisses your soft skin with so much gentleness your heart melts. You buck your hips against him basically begging for him to be in you.

His strong hands grip your skin before he takes his cock in his hands giving it a few tugs. Once he’s hard he takes the tip and runs it through your dripping folds. Bucky slowly eases into you giving you a second to adjust to his size.

“S-So b-big daddy” You mewl feeling his cock hit your g-spot. He starts thrusting into you at a slow pace to ease you into it. You weren’t a virgin by any means but fuck Bucky was the biggest you’ve ever had. Your senses were filled to the brim with Bucky as he delightfully stretched you out.

“So fucking tight and warm” He praised picking up his pace. You gripped at his shoulders bringing him closer to you and bringing him in for a kiss. The two of you were fully intoxicated by each other in this salacious moment.

“Right there daddy oh fuck” You mewled throwing your head back and Bucky took advantage of your exposed neck. He sucked dark marks on your neck and smiled at his work.

“Take it baby take it like the good girl you are and let daddy fill you up” He grunted gripping your thighs with more force than before. You almost screamed at his words as they filled you will some need you didn’t know you had.

“P-Please fill me up daddy please breed me.” You begged making Bucky groan in satisfaction. He picked up his pace chasing his high.

“Such a good girl” He praised giving you another sweet kiss as you felt your orgasm building up. It didn’t take long for you both to finish with loud moans and heavy panting. Bucky filled you up with his load and fucked it into you making sure that none of it would drip out. Once he was satisfied that none would he slowly pulled out and laid next to you as you panted.

“I love you” He blurted out making you whip your heads towards him. He didn’t even realize what he said until you smiled at him and cuddled into him.

“I love you too” You said softly and he wrapped his arms around your waist and sigh happily. The two of you shared another sweet kiss before you two fell asleep in each other arms happy as ever.

~The end~

[buckyalpine]

Okaaay! How can you write perfect imagines like that ! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Now I cant help to send you another idea and I'M NOT SORRY!

Another Bucky one, where you’re kinda their technician and support the Avengers out of the IT section of the compound when they are on the field. But Bucky also thinks you should learn how to self-defense yourself just in case, but you always refuse. One time you finally give in and he starts training private with you, which one time leads you falling and landing on top of him. instead of getting up, he pulls you closer and kisses you and even carries you to his room to make sweet love. Afterwards he’s a huge cuddler and you both confess your feelings ? I LOVE YOU 😊

I LOVE YOU I LOVE THIS I LOVE IT ALL, give me some sweet, soft Bucky loving his shy girl. (also bb, idek if you remember sending me this considering how long I've taken, IM SO SORRY, I hope I did this justice). Ugh, I love this type of smut, lowkey a weakness.

You breathed out a sigh of relief, setting down your headset after navigating the team through the building they had to break into, infiltrating the security system from your place in the Avengers tower. You guided them down the halls, alerting them of any potential hazards that were to be expected, carefully watching four different screens at once so you had eyes on all of them.

"Couldn't do this without ya short cake, see you soon" Tony's voice crackled through the coms, making you giggle before signing out. You loved your job with the Avengers, helping them on the field through the latest Stark technology, safe in your IT lab. You never had to worry about skills or getting injured because you didn't have to go out onto the field, at most, having to worry about the wifi ever slowing down at the wrong time (though there were plenty of back up softwares in place).

The familiar sounds of boots softly thudding down the hall made your heart flutter, peeking up from your place behind the computer to see Bucky walk into the lab, still in his tactical gear. He didn't seem fazed by the cut that was bleeding from his forehead; at the very least that seemed to be his only injury.

"You saved our asses again" Bucky grinned while you shook your head, taking his hand and making him sit at your desk, pulling out a first aid kit to take care of a gash that was cut across his eyebrow.

"And you're still bleeding" You gently dabbed a cotton ball to his eyebrow, carefully blowing away the sting after.

"Just a scratch doll" Bucky shrugged, letting you clean up the cut, the serum already starting to heal it. "How were things here"

"The usual, made some tea, watched your mission online, nothing exciting"

Bucky hummed, bringing up the same thing he always did after getting back from a mission without fail.

"Maybe you should learn some self-defense doll" He peeked an eye open, meeting yours while you put a final band aid on the side of his forehead just above his brow. "Just in case. Can't have anything happening to our favorite little short cake"

"I'm perfectly safe in the lab, Bucky" You replied, his words making your cheeks heat up, brushing them off as his usual playful teasing. This wasn't the first time Buck had suggested you learn self defense and you always shut it down.

"C'mon. I'll teach you, give you a private lesson. I'll be gentle" He prodded further, being dead serious in his offer. Sure you were safe at the tower but should anything happen, he wanted you to be able to take care of yourself if necessary.

"Bucky-

"It'll be good for you! What if someone broke into the compound when we aren't here"

"Bucky-

"Or if aliens attack. It literally happened last month. Remember that big purple ball sack-

"Bucky-

"Or if you're just walking down the street and someone tries to steal your purse"

"James-

"Pleaaseeee" Bucky gave you his final puppy pout, eyes wide, his bottom lip jutting out until you finally huffed, butterflies fluttering around you tummy.

"Just once" You agreed, feeling like you'd been lit on fire at the handsome smile he gave you, deciding to meet up twice a week at the gym for training. You felt nervous, seeing as you'd never had to use self-defense in your life. You weren't exactly coordinated for fighting and even though you were learning you didn't want to look like a complete fool in front of Bucky of all people.

-

You nervously made your way to the gym, surprised to find it empty with just Bucky waiting for you at the mats. You were expecting to find it full with the others training as well.

"Is it just us here?" You asked as he held his hand out, helping you under the ropes.

"Booked the gym just for us doll, we have it for an hour so you don't have to worry about anyone else" He smiled warmly, hoping the blush on his cheeks wasn't obvious, not wanting to seem like a creep. He really did want to train you, but he couldn't help the inkling of excitement he felt getting to help his crush.

You were surprised at what a gentleman he was. Training went surprisingly well; Bucky started off with easy moves, always warming up and helping you stretch first. It didn't help that you were flustered each time, usually slipping or tripping because you were caught up in his blue eyes or pink lips, the scent of his cologne always making you woozy.

He caught you every single time, setting you back on your feet with ease, praising what a good job you were doing whenever you did something well and encouraging you when he showed you something more challenging.

"Alright, today you're going to attack me" Bucky stated while you stared at his wide eyed, shaking your head.

"Bucky, I'm not sure I can-

"Yes you can short cake, c'mon, show me what you've got" He threw you a playful smirk, taking a few steps back and getting into position. You gulped, shaking off your nerves before steadying yourself, remembering everything he'd taught you. It didn't help that he'd decided to leave his shirt behind, his sculped body nearly taunting you from focusing. You launched yourself at him, managing to land a hit near his ribs before he caught you, gently grabbing your arm and holding it in place.

"Good job doll, now you're going to try and get out of this and attack again". Bucky's voice was strained, struggling with all his might to keep from blushing more, the scent of your shampoo and the softness of your skin making him giddy. With each training session, he was falling more and more for you, your shy giggles and smiles making his school boy crush worse.

You tried to focus on getting out of his hold instead of the fact that you were pressed tightly against him with your back to his chest, his warm breath fanning against your cheek, the coolness of his arm making you shiver. You wriggled around, slipping out and lunging forward again. You couldn't recall the exact sequence of steps Bucky had taught you, asking him while still moving.

"Do you think I should-ops-" You squeaked, losing your footing, crashing right into the soldier, sending you both onto the floor, landing right on top of Bucky. Bucky caught you, hands firmly on your waist while your eyes grew wide as your nose nearly brushed against his, chest pressed right onto him. You were frozen in place as the the tension grew thick, his baby blues daring to your lips before looking at you again, your sweet face centimeters from his, all he had to do was just-

Before he could stop himself, he pressed his lips against yours, smirking at the surprised gasp you let out before melted into him, eyes closing when you left his tongue softly trace along your lips. You lost yourself into the kiss, gasping again when he handled you with ease, standing with your legs wrapped around his waist, holding you securely. Your heart hammered against as he made his way towards to the gym doors, his arm supporting your ass while the the other cupped your face to kiss you again.

"Wanted to do that for so long short cake" Bucky shyly smiled, pressing the button of the elevator to take you right to his room, leaning in again for another kiss. You giggled, kissing him right back, tugging on his dogtags, not breaking away from each other until you were in the privacy of his room, gasping for air.

Bucky gently nudged the door shut, laying you down softly on the bed, lying on top of you, brushing your hair away from your face.

"Hi" He gave you a boyish smile, nuzzling his nose against your cheek, coaxing you to look at him when you tried to shy away, still in shock you had kissed Bucky and now you were in his room.

"Hi" You whispered, biting your lip feeling his hand softly stroke your waist, the both of you lost in each other again. You sucked in a breath before pressing a kiss to his cheek, blinking up at him to see if it was okay.

"So soft" He hummed, stroking up your thigh to your waist when your hitched your leg over him desperately wanting him closer. "My pretty short cake" Bucky didn't rush, the both of you innocently kissing on his bed, not leaving an inch of skin untouched with hands exploring each others bodies. Your stomach flipped when you felt his erection press against your tummy, the deep blush on his cheeks making you fall for him so much more.

"Is this okay?" Bucky asked, toying with the hem of your shirt, waiting for your permission before going any further.

"Please Bucky" Your voice was needy, craving to be closer, warmth pooling in your panties at the sight of his bulge straining in his grey joggers. He took his time undressing you, taking your hands in his and pulling you up so he could take your top off, tossing your sports bra aside immediately after. You lifted your hips up, letting him pull your shorts and panties off in one go, feeling exposed, your legs shut tightly together. As much as he wanted to admire your pretty body, Bucky kept his eyes on your face, smiling at you reassuringly while you covered yourself with his sheets.

He threw his clothes off before joining you under the covers, laying on top of you again, this time letting his kisses trail to others places. You let your hands cling onto his muscular shoulders while he kissed down your neck and across your chest, making his way to your peaked nipples, taking one into his mouth. You bit your lip to hold back your moan, hardly realizing you'd spread your legs for him, the slick between your folds making a mess between the sheets.

His cock leaked against your thigh each time you whined, his tongue drawing circles around your softness, pulling off so he could pay attention to the other. His thumb came up to flick your nipples, groaning when he felt your hand come to play with his hair, his hips rutting against the bed.

He continued to kiss down your body, nipping your tummy before settling between your legs, licking your sensitive inner thighs before spreading your folds apart and kissing your clit.

"So sweet doll" He whispered as he began to gently suckle, moaning when you whimpered, his arm slinging over your hips to keep you from squirming.

"Oh-B-Bucky!" You gasped, the band in your belly already starting to tighten as he drew circles, his lips sealed around your sensitive nub, nursing from you with the most soft, gently gurgles, his beard soaked with your juiced. "Bucky-I-I'm gonna-

"Come for me short cake, lemme taste all of you" Bucky went right back in, the sound of your moans growing louder making his cock throb, restraining himself from humping the bed knowing damn well he'd blow his load if he moved the slightest. You came all over Bucky's face, covering your face with your arm when he crawled back up with a grin, your arousal glistening off his lips.

"All shy for me now doll?" He purred, moving your arm away so he could kiss you deeply. You could feel his painfully hard cock pressed against you reaching down to stroke him.

"Fuck" Bucky hissed, his eyes rolling back, involuntarily thrusting forward into your hand, a drop of precum falling onto your skin. The sight alone send another wave of arousal gushing between your legs, feeling more empty than ever, feeling his thick velvety shaft fuck your hand.

"Can-can I?" You were too shy to say it but you wanted to make Bucky feel good too, his perfect pink glistening cockhead begging to be sucked, all leaky and swollen.

"You have no idea how much I'd love that but I just-I really wanna be inside you baby" Bucky panted, letting out a strained chuckle knowing damn well he wouldn't last if he saw your sweet doe eyes looking up at him with your mouth filled with cock, much less actually feeling your tongue. "Is this okay?"

He pumped his cock a few times, swiping it along your folds, his weeping tip catching against your fluttering hole.

"Will-will it fit?" you bit your lip, bringing your legs to wrap around his waist, your arms slinging around his shoulders, wrapping yourself around him.

"Told you I'd be gentle" Bucky smiled softly, kissing your cheek as he started to push in, swallowing your gasp as he began stretched you. "Fuck you feel so good" Bucky moaned softly, continued to give you every inch until he bottomed out, stilling so you could adjust.

"Everything okay?" He looked at you with concern, wrapping your body protectively against his.

"Feels good Bucky" you nodded, your voice melting into a moan as he started to move, pulling his hips back slowly and thrusting forward again, keeping a steady motion, letting you feel every bit of him inside you. He reached places you'd never felt before, shamelessly getting louder, digging your nails into his skin when he moved faster, desperate to give you as much pleasure as he could.

"Wanted this for so long doll, y'know that? How long I wanted to make love to you?" He confessed, grinding his hips, barely pulling out, his full, heavy balls pressed against your ass. "Make you feel so good pretty girl, take care of my sweet little short cake who always looks out for me"

"Please don't stop Bucky!" You begged, squeezing his cock, your pussy pulling him back in each time he pulled out, nearly tearing up at his words. "Don't-oh god-Bucky, don't-stop!"

"I know baby, I know" Bucky cooed, "Shhh, feels good, doesn't it? Is that all babygirl? Does it feel good?" His thrusts grew more powerful until he was pounding you into the matters, pouring every bit of his feelings into his strokes, the feeling of your body wrapped around his driving him closer to his own climax.

"Feels-good-so-good" you hiccupped between a whine, crying out when he brought his knee up to fuck you deeper, hitting a different angle. "RIGHT THERE BUCKY"

"That's it angel, I know baby, that's your spot, doing so good for me, think you can give me one more doll? Cum one more time for me?"

"Y-yeah!" You wailed, your back arching off the bed as he brought his hand between your bodies, rubbing your clit with soft circles, adding more pressure between snapping his hips. "I'm gonna cum Bucky!!"

"My good girl, makes me so hard when you say my name baby, cum for me angel, cum on my cock, don't stop till you cream all over me baby, I got you" He held you tighter, your head tucked into the crook of his arm while he cradled you, his other hand still rubbing you. His pace didn't faster, panting, desperately holding his own orgasm off, your brows knitting together, jaw slack, sweat covering your skin.

"You look so pretty like this babygirl, fuck, gonna make me cum y/n" He practically whined, moaning loudly with you when he started to feel you milk his cock, fluttering and squeezing him as your orgasm washed over you.

"BUCKKYY" You screamed his name as he continued to fuck you through your orgasm, his movements growing sloppy.

"You feel so good doll, so so good, sweetheart-fuck-I'm cumming" Bucky moaned against your neck, stilling as his cock started to throb, his warmth splashing against your cervix. He rocked his hips a few more times till he was milked dry, collapsing into your arms and rolling over so he could pull the covers over you both.

-

You giggled to yourself, tucked snuggly in Bucky's thick arms, your cheek pressed right against his warm chest. Neither if you had spoken a word yet, basking in a post sex haze, cozy and content in each others embrace.

"What's so funny short cake" Bucky whispered, tipping your chin up to meet his twinkling eyes, a dusting of pink still covering his cheeks.

"You're so cuddly for a big scary assassin" You teased, while he chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"S'not my fault" He playfully pouted before squeezing you tighter. "Can you blame me? Look at who I get to cuddle with"

You smiled, resting your head on his chest again, tracing invisible shapes onto his skin while he stroked your back, his heart starting to beat faster as he began to speak again.

"This-what happened between us-

You froze, stopping your ministrations, dread pooling in your chest over Bucky's words.

Had you misread the situation?

Oh god, you did, he didn't actually like you, you-

"It wasn't just a one time thing for me. I've liked you for a long time short cake-" Your spiral stopped immediately, looking at him with wide eyes, only to find him nervously chewing his bottom lip raw. "I don't- I don't know if you feel the same way but I'd love for you to be mine-if you'd have me"

His last words melted into a whisper, still looking at you with precious shyness, your heart ready to burst out of your chest at how soft he was for you. Your surprised him, smashing your lips against his, the adorable squeak slipping past his lips turning into a groan.

"You like me?" You grew bashful, tucking your face into his neck, giving the young soldier his confidence back, a smirk playing on his lips. "Like me like me?"

"Course darlin' you're my best girl" He kissed your forehead before rolling you over and attacking you with kisses again, the both of you grinning at each other with heart eyes,

"My favorite little short cake"

"My Bucky bear"

[lokis-army-77]

Premium Air

mondern!Eddie Munson x fem reader

Word Count: 1.1k

It's a few days after April Foos, Eddie isn't expecting you to pull a koke but you have something up your sleve.

Warning: noting! unless you count cursing

Thank you to my beta readers @munson-blurbs and @lofaewrites

Masterlist

You loved seeing the harmless little pranks that people would play on their significant others on social media and with April first already behind you, you knew Eddie wouldn’t suspect a thing. 

It was a bright Wednesday afternoon, you were at Robin's for a much needed girls day when you decided to put your little prank into action. 

"Hey, Rob, you wanna watch as I give Eddie a mini heart attack?" You ask as you wiggle into a more comfortable position on her couch.

"Oh my god, yes!" She excitedly shuffles over to you, leaning her whole body over your right side. 

You're both a giggling mess when you send the first text message. 

Hey, so my tire pressure light just came on, do I need to go have it checked?

It takes a few minutes but he eventually responds.

Is it still driving alright? 

Bring it to the shop when you get home from Robs, I'll fill it up before I leave work.

Yeah, it's driving just fine. The screen says it's my front passenger side tire.

You'll be fine to drive back home, I'll fill it up then, baby.

You leave it be for around thirty minutes as you and Robin think of what you should say next.

So Robin said I should go get it checked out and we were worried I wouldn't be able to drive all the way to your shop so I came to the one by her house.

I didn't know air was so expensive 😫. 

It was no more than a second later that your phone started to ring in your hands. Eddie's contact photo lighting up the screen. You swiped it away and you could feel Robin beginning to silently laugh 

Sweetheart, answer the phone.

Another call that you decline.

What do you mean expensive? Answer your phone!!!

Don't worry, Eds, the guy gave me a good deal! I think it's bc he thought I was pretty.

What do you mean by a good deal? Sweetheart, how much did you pay?

You and Robin can hardly contain your laughter. Tears are running down your faces. 

"I feel so bad, but it's so funny!" You cry. 

Robin nods along, "Don't, it's totally hilarious." She wipes her tears away and points at your phone, "Don't acknowledge those questions yet, say something about how he didn't notice the pretty comment."

You get to typing, fingers gliding over the keyboard.

Wow, I would have thought you'd be upset at another man...

Baby ,that is the last thing I'm worried about. HOW. MUCH. DID. YOU. PAY.

Well he said it was like premium air so it was on the more expensive end but apparently it won't seep out as fast as regular air.

You can see the read receipt and the three little dots as he begins to type. Your heart is beating wildly in your chest as the typing stops and he calls you again only for you to ignore it once more. 

Robin is beside you, howling as she holds her stomach. "This is the best thing I have EVER witnessed in my life!"

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, ANSWER YOUR PHONE. HOW MUCH DID YOU SPEND? BECAUSE PREMIUM AIR ISN'T REAL

So the guy said it's usually 250 for all 4 but he said he'd give me a deal and give me all 4 for the price of 3... is that not how much it usually is?

You need to tell me what shop you're at. Are you still there? Put me on the phone with this fucking guy

Eddie, I'm not putting you on the phone with him.

Sweetheart, why in the world would you take your car to someone else??? I'm literally a mechanic. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FREE!! 

Are you mad at me?

No, I'm not mad at you baby. I just need you to put me on the phone with the shop owner or someone, anyone. Air in all 4 tires is never gonna be over like 5 bucks...

I told you I'd take care of it, why didn't you just listen 

You almost double over, laughing harder than before. You could tell you were stressing him out, that he was trying to keep from freaking out. 

"Oh my god!" You cackle, "I think it's time to break it to him or else he might actually have a heart attack or maybe an aneurysm. 

Eddie calls you one last time and this time, you answer, sushing Robin as you press the speaker button. 

"Thank fuck, Sweetheart, put me on the phone with the asshole that scared you." His face was gruff, the growl of irritation bringing a shiver lust down your spine. 

"Eddie, baby, calm down." 

"I'll calm down when I get you your money back," he huffs. You can hear the sounds of his shop muffled through the speaker. 

You can't help the giggle that slips past your lips when you make eye contact with Robin. 

"This is not funny," he stresses. 

The giggles continue to bubble up, "I know I know, but I can't help it. I love you so much."

"I love you too, now please let me talk to the guy, I really don't wanna ask again." 

Robin takes your phone at that point, clearing her throat and proceeding to do her best impression of a blue collar man.

"Hey, this is Rodger, at you just got pranked garage, how can I help you?"

"Yeah, you can help me, I-" Eddie stops mid sentence. 

You've got your hand covering your mouth as you try, and fail, to cover your chortles.

"Wait a second... Robin?" All the building anger in his voice disappears as he slowly realizes what's happening.

Robin begins wheezing as you grab your phone back, "We got you!" You gleefully exclam into the phone.

"We got you good!" Robing teeters back on her legs, almost falling from the couch.

You can hear the shaky sigh of relief fron the receiver on the other end. "Thank God. Baby you had me going crazy over here. I was about to drive to every garage in town to find you."

"I'm so so so sorry, baby. I really am but we didn't do anything for April fools like we usually do and I just knew you wouldn't be expecting this."

Eddie lets out the longest sigh of relief you've ever heard. "Shit, sweetheart, I'm getting too old for these pranks."

"You're 35." You deadpan.

"And it's all down hill from here."

You can't see it but you know he has a shit eating grin on and you roll your eyes. "I'll make it up to you when I get home."

"You better."

[buckboi]

Angsty Little Coda to 7.6 because I couldn’t get the look on Margaret Buckley’s face out of my head but don’t worry it has a happy ending

*Now edited and on Ao3*

G / 1k / TW for bad parents

“Evan, have you got a moment?” 

Five words from his mother and Buck falls off cloud nine and crashes back to nineteen years old.

But Chimney’s alive and okay. Maddie’s glowing beside him in her gown. Everyone’s chatting and eating the overpriced (but admittedly delicious) wedding cake. It feels like a family gathering, and Buck won’t cause a scene in front of his family.

“Yeah, sure,” he says. Tommy gives his hand a gentle squeeze. Says I’ll be right here with just his eyes. Buck squeezes back, and follows his mom into the corridor.

“Come here.” She pulls a tissue from her pocket with one hand, grabs his chin with the other and starts wiping away the soot Tommy had left on his face when they reunited. “So. What’s all this then?”

It’s a trap, he knows.

“What’s all what?” he deflects.

“All this.” She waves her hand at his face, then towards the hospital room where Tommy is visible through the glass door. “You’re an adult now, Evan. I thought you knew better than to upstage your sister on her wedding day.”

Oh great. Accused of doing exactly what he’s trying not to do. It would be funny if it wasn’t frustrating.

“Second wedding,” he mutters under his breath. Just because Maddie was happy to forgive her parents for missing the first one, doesn't mean Buck has to let it go too.

“Excuse me?”

“I said she knows,” he corrects. This is a happy day. Chim is alive. Maddie is beautiful. Tommy is waiting for him. Things are good. He’s not arguing with his mother. “Maddie. I told her about Tommy weeks ago. She was the first person I told, actually. And she told me to bring him to the wedding, if I wanted to. The only one here who seems to have a problem with it is you.”

His mom scoffs at that, and lets go of his face.

“I’m not homophobic.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“I just don’t think it’s right, springing it on your father like that.” She tuts at him. Like he’s nineteen, fifteen, twelve, eight years old. He almost liked it when she was disappointed in him. At least she was paying attention. “He’s getting older. His heart.”

“You think me having a boyfriend is going to give dad a heart attack?” He laughs at the absurdity of it all. “Do you think we should get him outta that room before he realizes Hen and Karen are lesbians?”

“Evan.” How she manages to say his name with some much judgment when she’s the one who names him, he’ll never know. “It’s different. When you find out your own child has been lying to you for years. And all those girls you’d string along...”

She looks hurt, but not angry, which is its own kind of fucked up. It’s not fair. She doesn’t get to be sad about this.

Not when things are finally feeling good, and safe, and right. When Tommy feels right.

“I wasn’t lying.” It’s maybe more of the truth than she deserves.

“I don’t see how that can be true if you’re gay.”

“Well I’m bi, actually. And I only just-“ he scrubs a hand over his face, probably spreading the soot around worse. “It’s a recent development, okay? That’s why people didn’t know. ‘Cause it’s new. And Tommy and I are taking it slow.”

“I suppose that’s a first for you too, Evan?” she snipes and it’s goddamn unfair because who is she to ask him that? To judge his life when she’s never so much as pretended to take an interest in it?

He has options, now. He could storm off. He could say something worse. He could say something worse, something about dead children and how they can’t disappoint you like the ones who are still alive and then storm off.

She’s not worth it, says a voice in his head. It sounds a lot like Eddie, and Bobby; like Maddie, and Chim, and Hen, and Tommy.

Like someone who actually cares about him.

“Can we just… not?” he asks, and for a second Buck thinks she might actually refuse. Might force the point, but she lets out an unnecessarily weary sigh and nods. “Can’t we go back to the party, and enjoy what’s left of the day?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I want that?” Buck doesn’t even attempt to answer that one. “Just let me get you looking respectable again and we can go back.” She grabs at his face once more.

“Buck! Chim wants you back for a team photo,” Maddie says, bursting out of Chimney’s room in a cloud of tulle. Just in time to witness his humiliation. Great. “Aww, you’re wiping it off?” 

“Of course he is,” their mom says. She’s scratching at his face with the tissue. Speaking for him like he can’t answer on his own. “It’s your wedding, Maddie. I won’t let him show you and Howard up.”

Buck takes a deep breath and smiles thinly as his sister furrows her brows.

“Oh, well, Chim said he wanted a photo with your face all dirty.” She laughs sweetly, and grabs Buck’s arm. “He wants to capture every detail of the day.” 

“Oh,” Buck says eloquently as he lets his sister pull him back into Chimney’s room. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” she assures him.

“No it isn’t,” Chim cuts in from his bed. “Tommy, again. I want that photo!”

And Buck laughs, because it’s silly, and because he knows his family loves him. He asks, “Do we have to?” not because he doesn’t want to, but because it’s Maddie and Chim’s day, and he never wanted to steal their spotlight, even for a moment.

“Oh absolutely you do, Mister,” Maddie tells him, with just enough tease that he knows she wouldn’t force it if he protested. “Our wedding, our rules.”

Buck has no interest in protesting, instead he turns towards Tommy, who’d been a shockingly good sport about this. Buck’s sure he’s exhausted; probably desperate to get back to his apartment and shower off the day. Kinda wants to join him there if he’s being completely honest with himself.

“Well?” Tommy asks, interrupting his steamy fantasy.

Buck bites his lip like he's a teenager again.

“Hi.”

“H-“ Buck interrupts Tommy’s reply with his lips, far softer than before.

He’ll never ask how his mom reacted - whether she rolled her eyes, or pursed her lips or looked, even for a moment, proud of him - but Buck’s family cheers and jeers and whistles their support.

And he feels free.

[lyjen]

North West Corner | Part 2

Summary: After the reveal of (y/n)’s pregnancy, she gets put on light duties. A few shifts after the factory fire, Evan gets shot on duty. Can (Y/n) herself and her body handle the amount of stress it gives her?

Request

Taglist: @oliviah-25 @shauna-carsley

<< previous chapter | 9-1-1 Masterlist

__________________

A smile was spread across Evan’s face, even his eyes were smiling, he had this kind of sparkle in his eyes that made him look like a little boy in a toy shop. His eyes were locked onto his girlfriend, who was just arriving on scene in the ambulance.

Since the factory fire and the incident happened on the scene, Bobby had made the choice to put (Y/n) on light duties. Not only because she had a heart attack that day, but also because she was pregnant. And with light duties they meant: (Y/n) would switch places with Chimney.

Chimney usually would be Hen’s partner, helping her with victims and treating them. But now that she couldn’t risk doing heavy lifting, and running into burning buildings, they had no other choice but to switch.

She would be further away from the action, the work she loved the most and she may only know the basics, but she would learn during the process. But at least she could still work and make herself helpful on scene.

“If it isn’t my favorite temporary paramedic” (Y/n) could hear the oh so familiar voice say as it came closer with every word. She smiled and shut the passenger door with a bang. She turned around and walked towards the back of the ambulance, as her eyes slowly wandered from the ground to Evan walking towards her.

“Really? You just had to put that word in front of it, did you?” she laughed as she felt his arm slowly being placed onto her shoulder.

“What? I meant it in the way that you’re coming back to truck, eventually.” He said. But when he didn’t receive an answer he tried to talk it right, again. “I mean after you give birth to our mini (Y/n) of course.” he continued, and pressed a small, but warm kiss onto the side of her head.

(Y/n) opened the backdoors of the ambulance and she broke free from Evan’s arm around her shoulder, and stepped inside of the ambulance. “How are you so sure that we’re getting a daughter anyways? Maybe it’s a mini Buck” (Y/n) said as she got a pair of blue gloves out of a box.

“I googled for signs you’re having a girl. And a lot of those things they said are things you have or had.” Evan says as he quickly slipped out his phone and started scrolling and showing (Y/n) the website. In the meanwhile (Y/n) was busy putting everything she needed on the gurney.

“Like here, you suffered morning sickness during the first twelve weeks. You had that. And oh here, you’re craving more sweets..” he was rattled. He was so enthusiastic, he couldn’t hear her. “Buck..” she said in a warning tone. “And another one is, You’re more moody.” But suddenly he stopped, he saw the way (Y/n) looked at him and shook her head.

“I’m sorry.. It’s just.. I just know we’re getting a girl! I can feel it.” Evan says with a smile on his face, it looked like he just won the lottery. He felt a little guilty for calling her moody, but those were just the facts. But that wasn’t the reason she called his name with that tone.

“You know what I can feel? You, being up on that aerial in a minute.” Bobby’s voice spoke, the lottery winning expression on his face disappeared within less than one second as he could hear his captain's voice in his ears.

Evan closed his eyes for a second as he let his lips form a thin line.

Busted.

”What are you chit chatting for? There’s a building on fire and a man stuck on his balcony. Let’s go!” Bobby said as he clapped his hands together.

He collected all his confidence and turned around. “On it cap!” Buck said as he started to jog towards the truck. But stopped as soon as he took two steps, and turned on his heels again. He ran back towards the rig and he stepped in the ambulance. “I forgot something” he said and pressed a kiss onto her cheek as she placed another medic bag on the gurney.

His lips disconnected from her cheek as he now, carefully stepped out of the back of the ambulance and ran towards the truck. The aerial was already being sent up towards the right balcony where the man was waving.

“What did he need?” Hen said as soon as she appeared in the opening of the ambulance. “Oh you know, he keeps telling me we’re having a girl” she said as she shrugged her shoulders. It was something she was used to now. From the moment she told him she was pregnant, he told her he was sure she was having a girl.

“He’s holding on to that huh?” Hen laughed. (Y/n) nodded, as they rolled out the gurney. Hen pushed the button to make the legs of the gurney extend and to touch the ground. “You have no idea” (Y/n) spoke and hopped out of the ambulance.

Hen started to wheel the gurney towards the triage as (Y/n) quickly closed the back doors, and jogged to catch up with Hen.

“I’m here and ready to go!” Evan said as soon as his legs stopped moving and he grabbed his helmet out of the compartment. “Are you sure? I can go up too.” Eddie said.

“Nah you went last time, and I’m pretty sure Cap will kill me if I’m not on that ladder in a few seconds.” Evan said with a laugh. Eddie nodded at his answer, and made a gesture with his arm to tell him that it’s all his.

Evan placed his helmet onto his head and patted it. He made his way up the roof of the truck and he started to climb up the aerial. After a few steps he gestured towards Eddie, who was at the panel to move the aerial if he needed to, to move the aerial a little more up. “A little higher Eddie” he spoke through the radio as he made the gesture. “Copy that, raising the aerial” Eddie copied through his radio.

He held onto the two railings to the side as Eddie moved the aerial a little higher. He made a fist, as soon as it was the same height as the balcony of the man. “That’s good Eddie, going to the victim now” Evan spoke into his radio and let go of the speak button.

“LAFD, hold on sir. I’m coming to you.” he said as loud as he could, to make himself audible for the man on the balcony. He holds his hand out, with a flat hand, trying to gesture to the man to tell him to keep calm.

The man on the balcony couldn’t get out by the rescue squad since the hallway of his level was completely on fire. There was no getting through, so they sent the aerial up, including Evan.

He was a few steps from helping the man on the balcony as he heard a loud bang echoing through the skies.

(Y/n) gets pushed down by her shoulder as soon as she hears the bang through the air. “Firefighter down! I repeat, firefighter down!” her brother’s voice roared through the radio. Her stomach turned as she heard Eddie’s voice ringing through her ears. His voice was full with agony, terrified.

“Buck..” she mumbled as she locked eyes on the aerial and saw him lying flat onto the ladder. Without thinking, she stood up straight and wanted to make her way towards the truck. But after not even three steps, an arm stopped her in her tracks. “Are you insane! You’re staying here!” Bobby said as he held an arm in front of her body. Telling her not to go any further.

“With all due respect, the father of my baby is up there. Injured. You can’t just expect me to stand here and do nothing.” (Y/n) hissed back at Bobby.

Evan’s vision was blurry, a force sent him forward, causing him to slip and slide a few steps down. But his hand was right now holding one of the steps. A torturing pain was burning in Evan’s chest, but the adrenaline made the pain bearable.

He was lying flat onto the aerial, holding on as his feet were blindly searching for steps to give his chest some rest. As soon as his feet found one of the steps of the ladder, he looked up to the balcony, which was now further away than he was a few seconds ago.

His eyes locked with the man’s eyes who was standing on the balcony. But not even two seconds later, Evan saw a bullet flying through the man’s head. Causing him to fall.

A man was shot through his head, right in front of his eyes.

His ears were ringing, he could hear his own heart beating like it was trying to break free from his chest and his breathing was zooming through his ears. Everything around him sounded dull. As if he was wearing headphones without any music.

He could hear muffled screams, people telling others what to do, just pure panic.

Evan wanted to move from the aerial. But he couldn’t move. The only thing he could do was lie flat onto the aerial ladder and watch at the now empty space where the man was just a few seconds ago. He was zoned out, gawking. He needed his mind and body to catch up with whatever was going on.

“Come on.. Come on..” (Y/n) murmured as she watched her brother climbing the ladder, trying to assist Buck down. When she sees Eddie reaching the top of the ladder truck, pushes past Bobby, whose arm was down again, not blocking her way anymore.

She quickly runs towards a gurney which was not being used, and runs towards the side of the truck where other firefighters were helping Eddie to escort Buck down to the ground.

He carefully gets put onto the gurney, as she quickly grabs his hand and squeezes it. His eyes were closed. She was praying, please don't make her do chest compressions on him. “Buck, can you hear me?” she sounded as Hen carried a medic bag and got out the scissors, to cut open the fabric that was covering his chest. “Buck!” her voice was trembling, filled with adrenaline and fear.

But then his eyes started to flutter open. “Are…are you hurt?” he stumbled in a whisper. He was fighting to keep his eyes open. “What? No.. No.. I’m fine” she answered, he got hurt and this is the first thing he’d ask her? (Y/n) brought his hand closer to her and pressed her lips on the top of his hand. Telling him she was there, with him.

She could see Evan’s eyes rolling. “I know you’re tired. But I need you to hold on. Stay with me!” She said as she placed his hand next to his body onto the gurney. “No exit wound, the bullet is still in there.” She concluded as she pushed him up a little. Hen reached out and passed (Y/n) gauze, to keep pressure on the wound.

Hen put the medic bag onto the gurney between Evan’s legs. (Y/n) stepped onto a metal beam from the gurney, to be steady enough to keep pressure on the GSW. They rushed the gurney towards the ambulance as (Y/n) kept the pressure firmly on the wound.

The gauze she was holding onto the wound was becoming soaking wet with his blood. With one hand she kept the pressure on as she found a new package of gauze. With her mouth she ripped off the top of the package and got out the new piece. She was sure she let the package fly somewhere on scene. But that didn’t matter right now.

She felt Evan’s hand touching her arm, slightly. His grip went looser, and looser. Until his hand wasn’t holding her arm any more and started to fall down onto the gurney again. “Buck?” She called out his name. She noticed his eyes rolling to the back of his head. “He’s losing too much blood! We’re losing him!” She said, or actually kind of screamed.

(Y/n) pressed her fingers against his neck, as she tried to find a pulse. She felt a lump in her throat. Her heart was beating so fast, it was like she ran a marathon and it was getting harder for her to breathe. “I can’t feel a pulse!” She yelled. “Hen, I need you to keep pressure on the wound” she ordered.

Just as those words fell off her lips, they stopped at the back of the ambulance. (Y/n) didn’t even think for a slight second, she just threw her leg onto the gurney as she sat on top of him. She intertwined her left and right hand over one another, and started chest compressions.

She knew she shouldn’t be treating Evan. She was too close to the firefighter, but so were the rest of the team…And sure they could argue with her, but they already knew she was going to tell them the exact same thing. You’re family too.

The gurney got wheeled into the ambulance as (Y/n) was pressing the palm of her hand against her boyfriend's chest, trying to get his heartbeat back. “Come on, don't leave me like this!” she cried as she pushed with every bit of energy she had left in her arms.

It looked like an addiction, giving him chest compressions. She wanted him to come back so badly, she didn’t see what was happening to herself. She was losing herself.

“You’re not leaving, you hear me?” she sobbed as she felt the tears falling off her cheeks, down onto his revealed chest. ”You’re meeting your baby girl which you’re so convinced we’re having.” she continued. With every push she felt the energy being sucked out of her arms. But she needed to keep on going. She wasn’t stopping until he was back.

“She needs her father!” She cried out.

After dozens, maybe hundreds of chest compressions, the longest five minutes of her life came to an end. The ambulance pulled to a stop, as (Y/n) kept on going. She didn’t even feel them wheeling the gurney out of the ambulance. She was too focussed, too desperate to get him back.

“(Y/n)” Eddie said as he touched her arm, which she yanked away. “Diaz” Bobby said with a warning tone. But it was like no one was getting through. Like she had turned off her hearing. Like she was in her own world.

“Eddie take the otherside” Bobby ordered (Y/n)'s brother. He didn’t have a choice. Bobby’s hands and Eddie’s curled around her upper arm as they pulled (y/n) from the gurney. It was the only way..

“No!” she screamed on the top of her lungs, like she was being murdered. “I need to save him!” She sobbed. She didn’t even have the energy to stand on her own two legs, she had put all her energy into chest compressions. It was like she turned into some kind of monster.

All she wanted was to save him, like he saved her, countless times. And now it was time for her to save him.

(Y/n)’s body bungled in between Bobby and Eddie. When her knees touched the ground of the hospital ER, she fully broke down. She felt like she failed him. Why wouldn’t his heartbeat come back?

-

With her arms curled around her knees, she was sitting in the waiting room, on one of those shitty hospital chairs. She may be sitting there physically, but if you looked at her, it was almost like you were looking at a ghost. She was broken. She had lost her spark. Which is not really that weird after seeing your boyfriend being shot, and you tried for minutes to get him back to the world of the living.

(Y/n) was looking outside, seeing countless ambulances stopping and dropping off patients while the rain ticked against the glass window. Her stomach was hurting, probably because she didn’t eat for hours now. It would go away eventually, she figured. And her lower back was killing her, probably because of the way she was sitting for an hour straight. But it was the only position that was kinda comfortable.

“Here” her captain’s voice filled her ears. Her eyes followed his voice and found Bobby who was holding a cup of water. Since she was pregnant she couldn’t drink more than one cup of coffee, or rather no coffee at all.

She turned her head away from Bobby and continued to look outside of the window. “I’m not thirsty” she said coldly. She could hear Bobby let out a small sigh, as he took place in the chair next to her and placed the cup of water on the small table in front of them.

“You went all out there, didn’t you?” Bobby said as he gave her a few seconds of silence. She slightly shook her head, leaving a silence. “And yet…” she started, biting her upper lip to try and suppress her cry. ”I still have the feeling I failed.” she continued as her eyes began to water again.

“I couldn’t get him back Bobby, I tried. Maybe if I-” (Y/n) couldn’t finish her sentence or Bobby interrupted her. “Don’t do that. Don’t think about the things you could’ve done differently or didn’t do.” he said, as he looked to the side, trying to catch her eye. “What I do know is: that you kept him alive until we wheeled him in here.” he continued as he saw her press the palm of her hand onto her forehead.

“But that’s-” she stumbled, as she realized the words Bobby just said. “Wait. Did you just say.. Is he..” Bobby stayed silent as he slightly nodded his head. “Alive” he finished her sentence for her. “He’s getting prepped for the OR” he continued.

She pressed her eyes closed as she let out a relieved sigh. A tear escaped through the corner of her eye as she just tried to catch her breath. (Y/n) felt a warm touch on her knee. A small huffled breath broke free from her mouth as she tried to keep it together.

Bobby let her cry, for a few minutes, giving her the time she needed to let this news land. Until his voice broke the silence. “Listen.. why don’t you go home, and try to get some sleep. So you’ll be here when he wakes up from surgery” He suggests. She wanted to tell him no. She wanted to tell Bobby that she wasn’t able to sleep anyway. But her body was exhausted, and staying here would only give her more pain. Her body was telling her to take a break, there was this annoying pain creeping in on her lower back and her stomach was starting to scream even more.

“I don’t even have a car Bobby” she tried to use as an excuse. She didn’t care if she was in pain, she needed Evan to be fine. And the only way to know as one of the first persons if he was okay, was by staying here. In the hospital waiting room. “The ambulance is out of service, I can ask Eddie to bring you home.” her captain suggests. He looked her in the eye for a response, which was a small nod. “That would be nice.” she whispered. Bobby’s lips pressed into a thin line as he tried to send her some kind of smile. “Okay, I’ll be back in a minute.” he continued as he received her answer.

Secretly she hoped that the ambulance wouldn’t be here anymore, or that somehow they runned out of gas. But she knew that would be a long shot. (Y/n) let her eyes follow the raindrop on the window, trying to kill time. As she could hear the ribs of Evan snap in the back of her mind, bringing her thoughts back to the part where she was doing CPR.

“I can’t feel a pulse!”

“Come on! Come on! Don’t leave me like this!”

“You’re not leaving!”

“She needs her father!”

Her body flinched at the sudden touch on her shoulder, she yanked her head to her side to see who was touching her shoulder. “Sorry, I didn’t want to startle you” her brother’s voice said. She quickly wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her shirt. “It’s okay” she said, which sounded more like a whisper. “You ready?” he asked her, as he held out a hand in front of her. She looked at his hand as if she didn’t know what to do with it for a second, but nodded. “Yes” her voice spoke softly. She loosened her arms around her knees, which were still against her chest.

She accepted Eddie’s hand, and stood up from her chair. Her brother grabbed her turnout coat from the chair she was sitting on, and led her towards the exit of the ER.

She hated it. It felt like a walk of shame, even though she knew it wasn’t. Every single person in the room was watching her. It made her feel so little.

(Y/n) stopped in her tracks towards the exit, as she spotted Bobby with his cup of coffee in his hand. “Please, promise me you will call me. I don’t care if it’s in the middle of the night or while I'm on the damn toilet. You call me, okay?” she told her captain. He placed his hand on her upper arm and gave it a slight squeeze. “I promise.” he said, “Take care of yourself okay?” he continued. She tried to send him a smile, but it’s hard to smile if you can’t find anything positive in the moment. She turned away from her captain and followed her brother outside to the ambulance.

______

The car ride was silent.

She didn’t feel like talking. She was just staring deadly out of the passenger's side window most of the ride. (Y/n) could feel Eddie’s gaze, burning into the side of her head. Constantly checking in on her.

“He’s going to be fine (y/n). I mean it’s Buck.. He pulls these kinds of stunts all the time.” Eddie’s soothing voice filled her ears. She turned her head towards her brother while she leaned her head back against the headrest of the seat. “I know.. But this time it just feels.. different” she stumbles.

“You’re scared to lose him, I get it.” Eddie said.

“You know, I always make up those kinds of scenarios.” She started as her fingers were beginning to pick the dead skin off her fingers.

“What could happen on a call... I always imagined he could die because he’s surrounded by a fire and can’t get out, or he runs out of air in his oxygen tank or hell he falls through a roof while venting a building. Thousands of scenarios in my head, but none of them involved him getting shot on scene.” her voice continued as she looked down at her fingers.

Eddie doesn’t have the words to answer that. So he decides that it’s best for him to stay silent, and give her the time to express herself as he drives to her apartment.

“So yes, I am scared of losing him. I’ve always been scared to lose him. But this time it feels different because I’m pregnant. And he would not only be leaving me. But also…” she reaches out to her lower part of her belly. “this tiny human” she sighs as she lightly touches her stomach.

A silence took over the room. Eddie was already relieved that his sister was actually talking. Something she didn’t do for hours in that waiting room. He noticed her looking outside most of the time. But he figured it would be best for her there and then to have some alone time.

Her hands wandered back to her lap. “God, he wants to be a dad so badly..” she sniffed as a small smile appeared on her face. “This morning before this.. everything. He told me he knew for sure that we were having a girl.” She continued. She could see his perfect smile and the enthusiasm taking over.

She stopped talking as she noticed how she was starting to rattle. She looked in front of her, as she evaluated what happened in this moment. “I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of this..” she sighs as she shakes her head.

“No, don't be (y/n). Look, a lot has happened today and you just needed to vent. And that’s okay.” Eddie says as he turns the steering wheel, as he drives into her street. “You’re my sister, and I want you to feel safe, to feel like you can tell me everything.” He continued as he quickly looked at her and his head went back to the road.

A moment of silence fell, but Eddie decided to break the short silence, to try and make the conversation a little lighter. “To be honest, Buck already has a lot of practice with parenting since he adores Chris. So you don’t have anything to worry about.” He says as he glanced a smile at her.

A small smile and grin fell off her lips, as the ambulance pulled to a stop. “Your destination ma’am” he smiled as he put the handbrake on.

“Thanks Eds” she stumbled as she looked out of her window to the door of the apartment building. Her hand was placed on the door handle, ready to pull it.

But then she let go of the handle and quickly turned her body around.

Her arms locked themselves around Eddie's neck, pulling her brother close to her body. He was surprised by the sudden hug by his sister but he didn’t pull back.

She squeezed her eyes closed as she felt Eddie’s arms lock around her back and his hand calmly stroke over the back of her head. This is what she needed after this entire day. A hug.

After she stepped into the dark, empty apartment she let out a sigh.

Everything in here was just another reminder of Evan. She could go anywhere and somehow everything leads back to him.

She shook off her thoughts that wandered back to her significant other, and she flicked on the light switch next to the front door.

Just before she got out of the car, Eddie reminded her to drink and eat something. She told him she was going to be okay, but her thoughts were anywhere but food.

Her boyfriend was in the hospital fighting for his life, and she was back in their apartment trying to get some sleep she knew she wouldn’t and couldn’t get.

(Y/n) walked towards the fridge, but suddenly stopped as the annoying pain began to feel like a sudden stab in the stomach. “What the hell?” She mumbled, as she pressed the palm of her hand onto the core where the pain came from. With her body slightly hanging forward, she remained in the position for a few seconds. Waiting for the pain to stop.

She let out a shallow breath, slowly, emptying her lungs completely. Just as she wanted to continue her steps, she abruptly stopped again as she tried to hum away the pain she felt.

What was happening to her?

(Y/n) groaned at the pain she felt over and over again. It felt like the kind of pain she felt during her period, only ten times worse. As if some kind of war between her intestines was taking place in her abdomen.

With every few minutes, the pain was becoming worse and worse. She decided maybe it was for the best if she lied down on bed. Sometimes it would ease the pain if she was on her period, and since this pain felt the closest to that, she figured maybe that would help.

Every body movement she made, she felt like she was going to break. Not emotionally, but her body. It felt so tense and heavy, and she didn’t want to make it worse. So it took her longer than normally to make it up to the loft where the bed was placed.

She threw her phone on the bed as she laid down onto her side, curling her knees and legs as close to her stomach to try and get rid of the stabbing pain inside. Her arms were locked around her knees and legs, and with every shot of pain she pulled her arms tighter and tighter to try and relieve the pain.

She closed her eyes, trying to keep herself calm as the pain went on and on.

(Y/n)’s eyes shot open as an unbearable shocking pain went through her body. She was in pain, she was scared, she didn’t know what was happening to her, she was scared of the unknown. Tears were creating themselves in her eyes as the stabbing pain was becoming only worse and worse.

She huffed away a lot of the pains, trying to stay calm. But she couldn’t stay calm. She was all alone, while she waited for the torture to come to an end. Which felt like it never would.

Her eyes fell onto the phone on the other side of the bed. She really didn’t want to call her colleagues. They had enough on their mind. Even though they told her to call if something was wrong or she needed someone to talk to.

A sob left her mouth as her hand reached out for her phone, as soon as she got a hold of her phone, her finger hovered over the contacts. Who was she calling? She needed medical advice.

Eddie. Her brother. He was a medic too. He didn’t know as much as Hen or Chimney, but It’ll do.

Her hand tapped onto the contact of her brother, as she laid the phone next to her head. But just as the phone was ringing Eddie, another shock hit her body. She tightened the muscles in her abdomen to get rid of the pain as she turned her head towards her shoulder, trying to suppress the pain.

“(Y/n)? What’s wrong?” Eddie’s calm voice sounded through the speaker of the phone as he picked up the phone. She couldn’t talk, the pain was too much to handle.

Another shallow breath left her lips as she tried to breath away the pain, which resolved in a soft cry out of the pain. “Eddie” she sobbed softly through the phone, hoping he could hear her voice. “Something is wrong” she continued as another cry escaped her lips.

“I’m coming your way okay? Just, hang on.” Eddie says, you could just hear the fear in his voice. “Hurry” she cried out. And with that, the call gets cut off.

Eddie always had a spare key of (Y/n) and Buck’s apartment on him in case of an emergency. He never had to use it, until today.

“(Y/n)?” Eddie’s concerned voice filled the apartment. (Y/n) could hear his quick footsteps tapping over the floor downstairs. She wanted to call out, but didn’t have the energy for it. The only thing she could do is breathe the pain away, and find the most comfortable position (if that was possible).

Multiple times her name fell off Eddie’s lips. The footsteps went up the stairs, as his eyes locked on his sister. Lying in bed, as little as possible. “(Y/n)! Que pasó?” he asks, as he got on his knees next to the other side of the bed, trying to make eye contact with his sister.

The way she squeezed her eyes and the tears streaming down her face told him enough.

“Can you describe the pain you’re experiencing? ” he asks, as he places his hand onto her arm, trying to hush and give her some kind of comfort.

“It’s like someone is stabbing my intestines with a knife and just keeps twisting and pushing it” she groaned at the pain. It took her a while to get through that sentence. “Okay, and is this pain constantly?” He asks her calmly as he takes some time to think.

She shook her head before he could finish his sentence. “Waves” she stumbled as another shock of pain hit her stomach.

“I… I just… I-” she stumbled. “Feel like.. I’m going to die” she tried to finish her sentence while she pushed her arms tighter against her stomach, trying to get rid of the pain.

Eddie’s eyes grew slightly wider as he puzzled the pieces together and realized which way this was going. “(Y/n).. how long have you been experiencing these pains?” He calmly asks, trying to keep himself together. “Since this after-” she stopped mid sentence as she squeezed her eyes closed. “noon” she let out a breath.

“At dios mío… (Y/n).. why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” Eddie sighed. “I didn’t think anything of it” she said as she pressed her arms tighter around her stomach again. Another heavy breath left her lips, as she tried catching her breath. “I figured it was just because of the situation.” she continued.

Eddie collected all his courage. ”(Y/n).. I think you know what’s happening to you.” He says as he just looked at her. Their eyes connected, as she waited for his answer with a spark of hope in her eyes. “You’re having a miscarriage, (Y/n)”

The words she didn’t want to hear, were actually spoken.

She thought about it, but she didn’t want to believe it. Secretly, deep down, she hoped Eddie would tell her there was something else wrong, that her appendix was about to burst or that somehow she had extremely bad food poisoning.

“You see, the pain you’re describing and feeling are contractions.” He explained.

Her eyes grew wide as the diagnosis fell off his lips. Her eyes wandered from her brother, to the empty space next to him. Everything around her was sounding dull as if every sound was filtered out. “No..” she mumbled, as a tear escaped from the corner of her eye. “I’m so sorry (Y/n)” Eddie’s voice echoed in the back of her mind, as he placed his hand onto her upper arm.

Eddie reached out and touched her upper arm with his hand, her gaze slowly wandered back to his. He couldn’t handle seeing her like this. “C’me here” he murmured, trying to keep himself strong. He got on the bed and pulled her in an embrace, locking his arms around her.

Quiet sobs were being released from (Y/n)’s mouth against his shoulder. There she was, rolled together as a ball, being comforted by her brother because she’s about to lose her baby.

This was Evan’s reason to make it back home. Their little family. Which he was so excited about. And she’s about to lose it. Their child. Their son. Their daughter.

______

(Y/n) peeked around the doorframe of the hospital room she was in. She had given birth to the miscarriage, but just to be sure there was nothing else going on Eddie had brought her to the ER.

Since she was a lower priority, she had been sitting there for minutes which felt like a lifetime. It felt like there wasn't an end to this day. Her eyes were heavy, she wanted to sleep so badly, but after everything that happened in these past hours she just couldn’t.

She was a mess, and looked like a walking corpse, as if she came right out of a scene of the walking dead. But with a hospital gown on.

(Y/n) figured it would take a few more minutes or hours for the obstetrician to come back. So since she was in the hospital, she could maybe make the best of it and make a visit to her boyfriend.

Her eyes scanned the hallway if the obstetrician came back or not.

Clear.

She stepped out of the room and grabbed with her right hand tightly the rail on the side of the wall. Her legs were feeling like they could cave in literally any moment, but she needed to find Buck. She didn’t care if she even had to crawl her way back to him. She was going to find him.

After taking multiple random choices of routes, and following signs, she found Eddie in front of a window. Looking like some kind of lost boy, staring into the window.

(Y/n)’s feet trembled as she took place next to Eddie, following his gaze. But as soon as Eddie sensed someone standing next to him, he looked to his side. “What are you doing here? I thought you had an appointment with your obstetrician?” He said confused.

“She had a higher priority call. It could take her minutes, maybe hours to come back.” she said as she just looked at Buck through the window.

He was just lying there, completely still, connected to a thousand different wires and machines.

Eddie’s eyes wandered back to Buck’s body on the hospital bed. The two siblings just stood there, staring in silence for a moment.

“Has he woken up yet?” She broke the silence. Eddie sighed “Uh.. no not yet. They’re waiting for him to wake up from the anesthesia, which could be any moment now." He answered her question.

Another silence hit the conversation.

“I’m sorry” Eddie says. (Y/n) send him a confused look, “For what?” She reacted, she could sense Eddie was having a hard time with his next sentence. “I should’ve gone up that ladder” he said.

She was lost, what is Eddie talking about? “What?” The four letter word fell off her lips before her head caught up with her mouth. “I was ready to go up that ladder. But Buck.. he insisted.” He stumbled, as he pressed his lips into a thin line, trying to suppress the tears that were fighting their way out of his eyes.

“Eddie..” she sighed. “No. It should’ve been me. That way, this all wouldn’t have happened to you.” he said as he pressed the palms of both his hands down onto the railing (y/n)’s hands were resting on.

“No Eddie.” She started as he placed her left hand onto his right shoulder. ”What I did and felt for Buck when he got shot, it wouldn’t be any different if it was you on that ladder. I would’ve done exactly the same.” she continued. “And if it makes you feel better, I started spotting last week. So all of this would’ve happened anyway. It wouldn’t make a difference if it was you or Buck. So stop blaming yourself.” she ended and squeezed his shoulder.

Eddie quickly wiped away his tears as his eyes wandered back to his sisters. She gave him a small but reassuring smile, telling him it was okay. It felt so easy, talking to her brother about her loss. But she feared that if she walked into that room and talked to Evan, she would shatter into a thousand pieces.

“You gonna be okay?” She asked him quietly. Eddie looked through the window again, and back to (Y/n). He gave her a small nod. (Y/n) let her hand slide off his shoulder as she made her way towards the entrance of the room.

She felt a lump in their throat as she stood in the doorway of the room Buck was in. This was the first time she saw him again, after she got pulled off the gurney she was performing CPR on him. She could just hear her own scream echoing in the back of her mind.

Carefully she let her legs walk her towards the bed as she swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat.

She took place in the chair which was standing next to the hospital bed. With her bum she sat on the edge of the chair, so she could reach out to his hand.

With her trembling hand she placed her hand on his, carefully touching his IV. She sighed at the sight in front of her. She let her eyes scan his entire body. “Buck?” She whispered quietly, “I need you.” she said, as her voice broke with the last word.

The tear ducts were open once again. Not even a word could get out of her mouth as she sobbed. She placed her left elbow onto the mattress, as she held her hand in front of her eyes. She wanted to hide, to disappear.

She shed so many tears that her head was starting to create a headache behind her eyes. “Just wake up for me..” she mumbled through her sobs.

A soft groan sounded through the room. (Y/n)’s gaze went back to Evan’s face. His eyes were having trouble adjusting to the light, but rolled his head to his left, to get a better look.

“Hi” he whispered as he opened his eyes wider and wider. A smile appeared on her face, through the tears. “Hi” she gasped.

“Do you remember what happened?” She asks him. As she placed both her hands on his. He swallowed loudly, “Got shot.. ” he stumbled as he weakly brought his free hand to his shoulder and touched the packed wound. He hissed at the pain that went through his body as wanted to place his hand on the wound. “Don’t touch it” she warned him as she grabbed his other hand too and placed it where it was.

Another groan fell off his lips. “Are you hurt?” He asks as he weakly points at the hospital gown she was wearing. She followed his finger. “No.. I’m fine” she sighed. “Doesn’t… explain.. hospital gown” he stumbled.

It was like suddenly she didn’t know how to speak anymore. “I’ve got a.. appointment. With the obstetrician.” she said with pain and effort. “I don’t remember.. we had that planned” he whispered. “No, we didn't have it planned.” she sighed as she looked down to the hospital floor.

“So why.. are you seeing the obstetrician?”

“Because I..-” she barely couldn’t get the words out of her mouth. It made her sick. It made her want to scream. To cry.

She was struggling and Evan could see it. He may have just woken up, and gotten shot, but he didn’t forget how to read his girlfriend.

There was no easy way of saying it. She bit her lower lip, as she gathered all her courage. Her hands were starting to sweat and tremble. A sigh left her mouth.

“I’ve… lost the baby Buck.” and just like that, tears were streaming down her face. “I’m sorry” she cries.

“Oh baby…” he sighed. He wanted to reel her in his arms, to kiss her. But he couldn’t. He didn’t have the energy for it, not yet.

A feeling of guilt creeped in Evan. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you” he whispered, as he motioned at her to come closer. She stood up from the chair she was still seated in.

Evan moved to the side, as he made room on the hospital bed. He patted on the side of the bed, as (Y/n) got on the bed, lying on her side, curled up as a ball again. She placed her head on his chest, as Evan pulled a strand of hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear.

He pressed his lips on the top of her head. And murmured, “It’s going to be okay.”

[theotherbuckley]

Just some Bucktommy headcanons <3

- Buck always struggles to hide his surprise every time Tommy goes out of his way to turn up for him because he’s not used to someone actually showing up for him. Tommy sets out to always prove him wrong.

- Tommy was completely prepared for Buck to be a baby gay (inclusive) and still chokes every time Buck is super flirty, not that he’s complaining.

- After bad shifts they both take care of each other and help each other wash off and then cuddle together.

- The first time Tommy sees Buck with Jee he damn near has a heart attack. Buck sees him and gets worried but Tommy just tells him he’s adorable and Buck blushes.

- Buck gets butterflies and blushes so hard every single time Tommy calls him cute or adorable or anything like that because he’s not used to being perceived in that way and he loves it.

- Every single time Buck sees a helicopter he sends a pic to Tommy asking if it’s him. This leads to Tommy sending Buck photos of random doggos and asking if it’s Buck.

- Buck can’t shut up about his how his boyfriend is a pilot and will tell anyone who will listen.

- Buck loves how Tommy calls him Evan it makes his heart skip a beat. One day Tommy asks him about it because everyone else calls him Buck and should he? And Buck ducks his head and says “I like the way you say it.”

- They have a vulnerable discussion and Buck tells Tommy about Daniel and growing up constantly getting hurt and Tommy shares his rough childhood with his parents divorce and feeling like nobody was in his corner. Tommy vows never to let Buck think he’s worth anything less than everything and Buck makes sure Tommy knows that hes got him has a steady figure. He invites Tommy to all the 118 gatherings to make sure he knows that he has them too.

- At one of the gatherings Bobby takes Tommy aside and he thinks he’s getting the shovel talk but Bobby just hugs him and welcomes him to the family. Tommy has to wipe his eyes before going back out to the gathering.

- Tommy talks to Hen privately and profusely apologises for his behaviour at the 118 which leads to them both in tears by the end of it. Hen promises to give him a Christmas card every year and Tommy laughs.

- The first time bucktommy has a fight it’s over something trivial, Tommy leaves to get some fresh air and returns an hour or so later to find Buck crying. Buck looks shocked that he came back. Tommy tells him he will always come back and vows to communicate more clearly with Buck.

- Buck always talks about wanting to get a dog and Tommy just shakes his head and laughs. One day Tommy comes home covered in soot with a small golden retriever puppy that he saved in his arms and tells Buck he couldn’t let go of him. They name him Leo. Chris becomes obsessed with him and begs Eddie to get a dog too. Instead Carla takes Chris over after school to see Leo and feed him when Buck and Tommy can’t. Leo loves Chris and always barks when he leaves.

- Buck teaches Tommy how to dance because he never learnt. Buck tells him how he learnt for Maddie.

- When Buck gets hurt on a call Tommy won’t leave his side. He asks Eddie how he did it when Buck actually died and Eddie shakes his head and said he didn’t. Eddie takes Tommy home and forces him to shower and eat. Eddie, Chris, and Tommy sit together talking about Buck until they get the message that Bucks okay.

- When Eddie gets hurt on a call Buck is beside himself. Buck tells Tommy about the will. Buck tells Chris his dad is hurt again and Tommy holds Buck when he breaks down afterwards remembering the shooting.

- The first time they go further than making out Buck tells Tommy he loves his tits and then blushes and apologises. Tommy just chuckles and tells Buck he loves his tits too.

- Buck comes in with a limp one day and turns red when they ask him to explain. Hen keeps laughing at him but Chimney is so confused and keeps asking about it. Buck breaks and tells him. Chim can’t look Tommy in the eye at the next BBQ

- When they get married Tommy says how grateful he is to have an ally like Buck in his life.

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Grease Lightning

Pairing: Buck x Reader

Word count: 1.3k

Notes: This has been in my box for forever and I’m sorry it took so long to write

Warnings: A panic attack is implied

Every day since the accident you’ve watched Buck like a hawk. 

You stare at him while he eats his cereal, telling you how excited he is to see Eddie like a kid going to school to see their best friend. 

You stare when he’s on the couch playing games with Chris and Eddie has his arms around you because he’s staring for the same reason. 

And you stare when he’s lying in bed next to you, staring right back into your eyes. He reaches out, pushing a piece of hair out of your face, giving you a little smile. 

“I’m okay” He whispers every night, his heart crumbling when he watches little tears flow down your cheeks as you nod slowly. 

It’s funny because you’ve gotten better, he used to have to hold you until you cried yourself to sleep, you’d wake up every morning and he’d be practically lying on top of you, just so you could feel the warmth of his body, the beating of his heart. So you knew he was alive as soon as you woke up. He didn’t mind the extra pampering, because he knew you needed it. You packed his stupid paw patrol lunch box every day with his snacks because you knew Bobby had every meal covered. You drove him to work now, usually, you’d take your bike places but it was Buck who suggested you bring him to work to spend more time together and so you’d have a car all day, he didn’t mind not having it. 

It was all honestly mostly so he could keep an eye on you too. Eddie would ask in hushed tones how you were doing and Buck would nearly crumble each time because he was just so worried about you. 

You weren’t even sure the last time you’d had a nightmare about what had happened, therapy had been a huge help, teaching you ways to cope with the intense anxiety that something that freaking rare could happen again. Final destination your ass. But you already knew tonight was going to be kind of shitty. You’d woken up that morning, turning over and reaching for him to steal his body heat, when your hand was met with nothing but sheets, cool to the touch. Your eyes shot open, his phone wasn’t on the nightstand. 

“Buck?” You say quietly, your heart beating wildly in your chest. You scramble out of bed, and hurry down the stairs, looking around the apartment. 

“Buck?? Evan??” You call out louder, and there’s still no answer. The logical thing would be to just call him. But rationality doesn’t always come when we need it to. 

You wrap your arms around yourself, slowly sinking to the floor. Your hands are shaking way too much to even dial his number in the first place. You can feel the edges of your mind slowly fraying, your heartbeat seems to be slowing down, it’s like you can’t feel anything at all. What if he didn’t even answer you? What if he couldn’t answer you?

“C-call Eddie” You managed to choke out as you sank further and further into yourself and into this strange black hole. The phone rings and rings and rings and you’re not even sure when he answered but you can just barely hear him calling your name. He calls out your name again and you’re still not answering him. But he can hear you, he can hear the hyperventilating. You think he tells you they’ll be home as soon as they can and that it’s gonna be okay and he’s going to stay on the line with you and you just shrug in response to him because talking is not a thing you’re capable of right now. 

The front door slams open and Buck comes running over. He pulls you into his arms and kisses your head, holding you as tightly to his chest as you can stand it. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay now I’m here, just breathe baby I’m here” He strokes your hair as Eddie comes over, sitting down on the floor a little ways away from you two. He puts his head in his hands and sighs before looking up. Buck adjusts you in his lap and rubs your thigh slowly. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” He asks quietly and you shake your head, your body relaxing against his? 

“I have an idea,” Eddie says quietly and you bury your face further into his chest as Buck looks over at him. 

“You’re not really here” 

Suddenly you’re on the floor, no longer in his arms. You look around you, and Eddie is standing over you, with Buck’s limp body in his arms. 

“I’m sorry” He choked out as he fell to his knees “I-I’m so- I’m so sorry” 

“No, no please no Buck no” Your voice cracks as you scramble over to his body, hugging him to your chest “Buck please!” You sob “Evan please I love you, please” 

“Y/N? Hey, Y/N come on wake up” You slam forward in the bed and Buck shrieks, throwing his hands up in little fake karate motions. 

“What are you doing?!” You gesture at him wildly and he scoffs 

“What am I doing?? What are you doing?!! You- You were crying for me” He sighs softly, putting his hands down. “ You were crying and telling me you loved me” 

He sits back down next to you, fixing the covers around his waist, and sighs, running his hands through his hair and looking over at you.

“Another bad dream?” He asks quietly and you nod. He opens his arms and you crawl into his lap, clinging to his arm. He wraps them around you, kisses your head, and sets his chin down on it.

“Haven’t had one in a while… Almost thought you weren’t worried about me anymore, thought there was another man” 

You snort and pinch his arm and he bats your hand away.

“I’m for real life! What if you found another super sexy ultra mega hottie firefighter boyfriend?”

“Ultra mega hottie?” You giggle into his chest and he smacks your butt. You yelp and he snickers again.

“Hell yeah!…who else would you want to get engaged to?” He says the last part so quietly you almost question if you even heard it. You look up at him and he reaches over into the nightstand and pulls out a small velvet box. 

“I will always be here to save you, Y/N… You’ll never be able to get rid of me. Even lightning couldn’t do it!!” 

You laugh a little through the tears and he helps out sit up, opening the little box.

“This is not exactly the proposal I had in mind… actually Eddie is helping me set it up so you gotta pretend to be surprised okay?”

“Okay,” you nod slowly, gulping quietly and now crying for a completely different reason. The ring is gorgeous. It’s everything you’d wanted and you knew he had definitely been sneaking around on your Pinterest boards. He slips it on your finger and you stare at it, your heart pounding in your ears. 

“I love you, Y/N” He tilts your chin up and you smile, your heart no longer aching with the pain of imagining him gone. Because he’s here, right now at this moment your Buck is here and he’s alive and he’s beautiful and he’s here.

“I love you too” 

He leans in brushing his lips softly against yours and nuzzling your nose, grinning when you giggle. He cups your face, trailing his thumb over your cheekbone before planting a soft, lingering kiss on your lips. He exhales slowly and you smile, moving your lips against his. He closes the box and puts it back on his nightstand before pushing you back slowly with his body, never parting from the kiss. Your legs open to welcome him and he settles down between them, growling playfully. 

“Why future Mrs. Buckley” He pulls away a little to look at you “Are you propositioning me?” 

“Oh shut up!” You squeal laughing as he pulls your oversized shirt up and crawls under it

[bunnyyyuu]

ftm!megumi is so dear to me……. <3 he’s always trying to act tough and annoyed until you’re knuckles deep in his pussy and suddenly all the glares and mean comments r gone!!!! jst making little circles in his clit is enough for him to get glassy eyed n hazy i love him

includes: gn! reader, aged up! ftm megumi, overstim (kinda), anon spittin facts, not proofread wordvomit oops

megumi can be kind of a dick if you let him. thankfully, you don't let him .

his normally disinterested eyes are blown wide open during the middle of you two making out when you cup his cunt through his pant. he pulls back to stare at you and that stupid, evil smile quirking up your lips. he doesn't have anything to say, though; no scoffs, no eyerolls, no muttered digs at you.

you're tugging down his pants in record time. he gets all shy and flustered—much unlike his usual act. pressing his legs together to keep the way you can see his dripping cunny through his boxers, pulling the collar of his shirt over his reddened face, his other hand awkwardly hovering around you in uncertainty of where or how to touch you. how adorable, really.

you have to practically force his knees apart, giving him an eyeroll when he lets out an almost silent whine of embarrassment. your hand finds his puffy clit through the dampened layer of cotton and you swear his eyes gloss over. the tight figure eights you swirl over the sensitive nub already have his brain leaking out of his pussy.

"'gumi, 'm barely even doing anythin'," you giggle. laughing in his face at his most vulnerable was a pretty low blow, but the way your fingers lazily work his throbbing clit registers him too stupid to care.

he gives a half-hearted shrug, your words not even really affecting his state.

it's not long until you're slipping your hand under the waistband of his boxers and gently teasing his entrance with two fingers. he's clenching around nothing, so much slick arousal coating him it's like a waterslide. he mumbles out your name with a half-real half-fake annoyance in attempt to get you to just fuck him already!

megumi's impatient, yes, but he can't deny how much he loves when you tease him. he's so sensitive, fragile even, that even your featherlight, ghostly touches quickly get him to teeter on the edge of climax. he actually doesn't mind—just don't listen to anything he days.

"please..." he whispers, head rolled back and eyes fluttered shut.

you want to tease the boy longer, want to get him so close then stop abruptly, want to make him into a pitiful, writhing mess. but, alas, you are weak and he is so, so pretty. maybe next time (because there's always a next time with megumi. he's a feind for you) you'll wreck him for real.

he's moaning and gasping out your name like he's choking on the syllables when your fingers sink into his sopping pussy. he feels like he might die or cum right then and there—maybe both.

his hips are bucking against your hand instantly, not giving you any time to set a slow pace, unlike the sloppy desperate rolling of his hips. his clit bumps your palm with each thrust against it, his blue eyes so far back in his skull he can see his brain with 20/20 vision.

"megs, calm down," you grumble, digging the fingers into of your free hand into his thigh, "lemme do it..."

he's not one to get this needy, but, god, the way your fingers fit inside his velvety walls is all too perfect. he can't resist humping your hand like a bitch in heat. he just shakes his head weakly.

"at least look at me," you say with a small pout on your face.

and, when he does, your heart swells.

his eyes are wide open and glassy, tears forming on his waterline. his indigo irises look lighter than normal, glittering with white swirling highlights. his eyebrows are knitted together above them. his lips are parted and swollen from how you attacked them earlier as he pants and whimpers, the bottom one quivering in shaky breaths. you're the only one who sees him like this, so weak, so eager.

on one hand, no one else deserves to see him like this. on the other, he's just so beautiful you want everyone to see him and know it (and know that he's all yours).

it takes only a few minutes of him grinding on your fingers as if it were the only thing he knew how to do before he's painting your hand and the inside of the boxers he'd never bothered to peel off with his squirt. it's dirty and would ruin the moment if he wasn't so utterly lost in it. his hole squeezes you so tight it feels like your fingers might get cut off while he gushes buckets around them.

you aid him in riding out his blissful high by gently curling your fingers inside him, eliciting the most beautiful sounds of pleasure from his lips. he hides his face into your neck.

he's mumbling some apology for making a mess or being so needy against your skin but it doesn't matter one bit.