#how to get pregnant with pcos

[endocrinologistanddiabetologis]

[amidnightqueery]

Dude the fact that I have PCOS and a 2½ year Mirena IUD inside me yet I STILL ovulate is batshit to me. What do you mean "fertile cervical mucus" WHAT ABOUT THIS SITUATION IS FERTILE IN ANY REGARD

[massivestudentkitty]

I love how most of the books about pcos are about how to lose weight or on how to get pregnant

[leidensygdom]

PCOS update: as I'm trying to come to terms with it and how, uh, it's shaped a lot of my experiences, I've also been trying to find some resources for managing it to a degree. So far I've found:

An infinite amount of resources talking about how you can still get pregnant with it and how I shouldn't be an impediment to that even if you have higher risk of complications (useful for people who want to pursue that, but I'm surely adoption could've been mentioned at some point??)

300000 resources about managing your excess hair and talking about the absolutely harrowing experience of being "a hairy woman". Quite a lot about "Laser hair removal is a MUST!!!"

About a similar amount of articles talking about how to manage your acne

I found a neat study talking about how people with PCOS tend to have lower voices due to the effects of higher T. I thought the study would mention that, being a rather prevalent thing with PCOS, it could be used for diagnosis. Instead, it goes into "EARLY PCOS DETECTION IS IMPORTANT SO WE CAN PREVENT TEENS FROM GOING THROUGH IRREVERSIBLE VOICE VIRILIZATION!!!"

Exactly 0 articles talking about pain management or how to handle the whole "bleeding for 30 days in a row and the consequent anemia that results from that"

I'm not sure how to put this nicely but it's kinda, uh, interesting to see how PCOS resources all cycle back to have people conforming to a very narrow idea of womanhood instead of maybe even remotely trying to help out with the chronic pain stemming from it (even more jarring as a nb person :''))

[streetlamp-amber]

batmom with endometriosis (blurb)

batfamily x batmom!reader

word count: 1.5k | divider by @saradika | requests are open!

REQUEST: “when I read in your guidelines that you had chronic pain, I was ecstatic - that's exactly the ask I've been wanting to leave for weeks, a batboys x reader where the reader has chronic pain (I have endometriosis and fibromyalgia). Maybe how the boys take care of and accommodate reader's needs?" CW: miscarriage, infertility, endometriosis, mention of blood (menstrual) NOTES: march is endometriosis awareness month and as someone also in the process of being diagnosed with endo, i really wanted to take some time out of my busy uni schedule to write this one and post it this month. if you've requested something and i haven't answered to your request yet, it means i'm still in the process of writing it, i'll eventually get through my inbox haha but in the meantime i hope you enjoy this one. i mostly based the headcanons on my personal experience as well as some more commonly known facts about endo. also i'm more comfortable writing about the batboys with the reader being batmom, sorry if this wasn't exactly what was expected but i just can't see dick, jason, tim and damian as a romantic partner like they are my children frl frl. i was going with headcanons at first but then it turned too much into a story idk it's a little weirdly made but i think still nice to read?

You grew up always wanting a big family, with a few children running around your house, but your dreams were shattered when you were diagnosed with endometriosis after having a miscarriage. The screams and sobs that came out of your body when the doctor told you that carrying a pregnancy (if you were able to get pregnant at all) would be pretty risky haunted Bruce for a long time. A year later, you tried to get pregnant by IVF, but this didn’t work either and you had completely given up on the idea of pregnancy, there was only so much heartbreak you could take. When Bruce and you witnessed the death of the Flying Graysons, Bruce at first was reluctant to suggest to you the idea of adopting their son Dick. After the failed in vitro attempt and your mutual decision to stop trying to get pregnant, you hadn’t really spoken about adoption and he wasn’t sure this was something you’d be open to, so your husband was pretty surprised when you were the one to suggest to adopt Dick. As the years went by, more and more children joined the Wayne Manor and your dream of having a big family with a few children running around your house came to life.

Living with endometriosis was no easy feat. Some days you were in so much pain you couldn’t even get out of bed. You were physically and mentally exhausted for at least a week every month, and even though your job allowed you to work from home, your sixty year old male boss who had no understanding of women’s health eventually fired you. When that happened, Bruce was about ready to march into that old man’s office and get you your job back, but you decided to instead appreciate the privilege you were given by being married to a billionaire CEO and become a stay-at-home wife. Shortly after your diagnostic, Bruce started a charity to fund medical research for women’s health, particularly for conditions touching the reproductive system like endometriosis and PCOS, so once you were out of your old job, you decided that there was no better way to spend your time than by getting involved with the charity.

You were lucky to have an understanding husband who was constantly at your beck and call. Whenever your period was about to start and your endometriosis symptoms worsened, he would do simple things like drawing you a hot bath to help soothe your muscles and shorten his night patrols as Batman so he could come back to bed earlier and serve as your personal heating pad. He would rub CBD oil on your joints and your lower back to relieve some pain and it goes without saying that he tracked your periods not only to anticipate the times when he needs to be more at home than work to care for you but also when you’re more comfortable to have sex, seeing as dyspareunia (painful intercourse) was one of your most unwanted symptoms. It surprised him at first, he didn’t know this was a possible thing, but the two of you worked together to find positions that were more comfortable and less painful for you, and he didn’t take any offence if you needed to stop mid session. After all, Bruce only had your comfort at the forefront of his mind and always reassured you whenever you felt inferior for not being able to have intercourse with your husband.

Alfred read up on ways to improve life with endometriosis through your diet and made sure you never ran out of raspberry leaf tea which helped with your pelvic pain a little. He started incorporating omega-3 fatty acids in your meals and had you snacking on vegetables and trail mix in between. As the kids started appearing in your life, they each happily took the role of being your personal cuddly heating pad until they became teenagers and went through that phase where getting hugs and kisses from your mother was too cringy for them (except for Jason, the hottest furnace out of your kids and the biggest Mama’s boy). Dick, your little flexible acrobat, helped you do 30 minutes long yoga sessions every day to help reduce your pain and increase your energy levels. Tim made sure you were drinking enough water – “Well Mom, the studies say that you need to drink five tall glasses of water per day, so drink up!” – and he was always staying up to date with medical magazines and research to find new ways to improve your life.

When Bruce and Dick returned from one of their patrols with a German Shepherd dog and nobody had claimed him after an ad was put in the paper, Bruce decided to have Ace trained to help you with your anxiety and depression spells that came during your premenstrual period. The big dog was an addition to the family that you never had thought of but you were more than pleased to have him. When your husband was at work and your boys were at school, Ace would jump in your bed and lay his head on your belly or let you cuddle him for as long as you wanted, always there to soothe you and keep your belly warm. 

Damian’s arrival in your life had not been easy. It opened old wounds, and for a moment there you had convinced yourself that your husband would have a moment of clarity and leave you to be with someone who could give him biological children. After talking it out through the night and Bruce reassuring you over and over again that he wasn’t going to leave you and that he was more than happy with the family you had together, he realised that maybe you hadn’t really come to terms with your fertility problems. A week later, he suggested that you see a therapist to help you with the psychological load that came with your condition and that you should also join a group for people with endometriosis who would better understand your pain and struggle. At first you were reluctant, thinking Bruce had had enough and wanted to relieve himself from the burden of supporting you, but your kids made you see that this would be beneficial for everyone, that you can never have too many support systems and the lived experiences of other people with endometriosis could also help your family find better ways to help and support you.

Once Damian warmed up to you, which took more than a few months, he was basically fighting Jason to be your personal cuddly heating pad. He loved your motherly affection and his favourite way to pass time was watching your favourite sitcom in your bed with you and Ace. One time, you unexpectedly started bleeding during the night and left a pretty big red stain on your white sheets. After making sure you were comfortable in your hot bath, Bruce gathered your bedsheets and went to bring them to the laundry room. It just so happened that Damian was getting out of his bedroom at the same time as his father and when he saw the blood on the sheets, he immediately assumed the worst and jumped on Bruce, ready to avenge you. Damian knew that you had menstruations every month, that they were the cause for your pain, but he didn’t know that they caused you to bleed this much. Thankfully, Tim, who knew you were supposed to be on your period soon, was coming up to your room to bring you your first water bottle of the day and managed to pull small Damian off of Bruce. While your third son took care of bringing the sheets to the laundry room downstairs, your husband guided Damian through your bedroom and made him stop in the doorway of the adjacent bathroom, where they could see your head poking out of the bathtub, your eyes closed as you tried to let the warm water and your favourite Leonard Cohen album soothe you. “See,” he leaned down to Damian’s height and gently told him, “Mom’s doing alright. Well, as alright as she can when she’s on her period, but she’s alive. She loses a lot of blood when she’s on her period, that’s one of the reasons why she’s so tired.”

After every laparoscopy, you'd wake up to find Bruce and your boys in your room, sat there waiting to bring you back home from the hospital. Everyone was at your beck and call, the boys mostly helped you get out of bed and walk each day to improve your blood flow. Tim was even more insisting with your water intake to prevent dehydration and everyone ate your post laparoscopy diet of plain rice and broiled chicken to avoid upsetting your stomach the first two days after the surgery so you wouldn’t feel alone in your boring diet. When you weren't out of bed doing your daily walk with one of your kids, they were all knocking at your bedroom door every fifteen minutes, making sure you were comfortable and didn’t need anything else. Bruce, who had mastered the art of bandage through his Batman activities, checked on your incision every morning and every night for any infection or if it had opened up, then cleaned it with soapy water and applied some gauze over it to prevent it rubbing against your clothes.

And every month you found yourself crying at least once, overwhelmed with how grateful you were to have a strong and loving support system helping you live with your condition.

[captain-huggy-bear]

Clayton Keller

One-shots

Ain't That a Kick in he Head - Clayton X Fem!Reader - You watch Clayton take a puck to the face, suffice to say you are very much worried for your boyfriend at the end of the game.

The Giggles - Clayton X Fem!Reader - 18+ MDNI - You have your first ever kiss with Clayton and you can't stop giggling, it's fucking adorable.

Treat You Right - Clayton X Fem!Reader - You're not dating Clayton Keller, but there's one thing he can't stand and that's a guy not treating you with respect...turns out he hates it enough to fight a guy in a bar after a game.

"How dare you talk about my future husband like that.." - Clayton X Fem!Reader - Clayton is feeling self conscious about his eye since his injury, you are not having any of it.

"I've Got You..." - Clayton X Fem!Reader - You wake up at 2am to find you've started your period. Clayton takes care of you.

Marks on Your Skin - Clayton X Fem!Reader - 18+ MDNI - Clayton is a big fan of that particular lipstick you always wear, the one that leaves red marks all over his skin. He particularly likes kissing it off of you

The Puck-cident - Clayton X Fem!Reader - You are the unfortunate soul that takes a puck to the face during one of Utah's games, Clayton sees whole thing and demands to be let off the ice.

First Time For Everything - Clayton x Fem!Reader - 18+ MDNI - Follow up to The Giggles - Your first time with Clayton doesn't stop you giggling, if anything it makes the giggles worse. Luckily for you he still finds it endearing as fuck.

Dependable - Clayton X Fem!Reader - Whenever you're on your period Clayton is dependable, someone who knows what you need before you do. Aka a series of things Clayton does for you when you're on your period.

The Safehouse at the End of the World - Clayton X Fem!Reader - TW: Anxiety - When everything seems too much, too intense with the world, when it feels like you can't breathe, like the world is caving in and you're being hunted for sport, Clayton is the lighthouse you search for...the safehouse at the end of the world to bring you home.

The Jacket - Clayton X Fem!Reader - You've been making a jacket to surprise Clayton with for months, you finally get your chance at the first game of the season.

The Album - Clayton X Fem!Reader - Clayton finds out you have a photo album on your phone of pictures and clips of him.

Multi-Part Fics

The Favour - Clayton x Fem!Reader - 18+ MDNI - You've spent your adult life pretty certain you're broken...that something must be wrong with you. After your boyfriend breaks up with you for your inability to orgasm, you go to the one man you trust most above all others to help you figure it out. [1], [2], [3]

Drabbles/Prompts

How he reacts to some guy being a creep towards you

Car Service

The Mystery of the Missing Chain aka Possessive Clayton 18+ MDNI

Spanking 18+ MDNI

Hand holding

Period Sex 18+ MDNI

“What’s that bruise from?”

Clayton calls you mama when you're pregnant

Clay sorting your pills/meds/supplements out for you (PCOS reader)

Cooking together

"Whose sweatshirt is that?"

Your initial tattooed on his ring finger 18+ MDNI

He has a sixth sense to help with your clumsiness

You're a little drunk

Learning to skate

Anaesthesia

Your initials on his tape job

Sequel - you find out your initials are on his tape job

'I can't pay the mortgage...'

Socks and Ties

The dimple

"What happened?"

Thighs 18+ MDNI

The broken toilet

Cooling off after an argument

"Come back to bed,"

“Bring a damn charger next time, you scared the shit out of me.”

“How fucking dare you- I am married.”

“Just- please, can’t you see she’s in pain?”

“Hey… hey… why are you crying?”

"'Can I borrow some money?"

“Hey, Look at me. I love you, okay?”

“Can’t sleep.”

"Such a good girl f'me." 18+ MDNI

“Such a good girl f’me.” Alternate

“Bet you they don’t make you sound like that, do they?” 18+ MDNI

“Your tie is all crooked”

"Please don't leave me like that ever again. It scared me."

Fairness (Dad!Clay)

Giving you his hoodie when you're cold

Winning the World Championship

“Ibuprofen and a red bull is not breakfast.”

“You’re going to bed, even if I have to carry you there myself.”

“I slept really good last night” (Dad!Clay)

Sick and Clingy

Love bites 18+ MDNI TW: Biting, Possessive Clay

Worry Wart

Amnesia

Play fighting

Giggly, sweet shit

Current boyfriend trend

Thoughts

Clayton and your neck - 18+ MDNI

Red Lipstick

Clayton who's not so good with girls

Nose boops

Biter - 18+ MDNI

Comedy club

You're older by a few months

The Chain - 18+ MDNI

Breeding Kink/Pregnancy Kink/Hockey team of kids dad Clay- 18+ MDNI

Baby's heartbeat

UHC Dads thread of madness (enjoy)

You're feral for Dad!Clay postpartum 18+ themes

You're a teacher; (2)

Let me romance him

Dad!Clay at a game

Small Town AU Masterlist

[annie-ave]

t.w. sexual coercion/sexual content

for the TRA's stalking my blog rn)

i actually have slept with a transwoman before y'know.

it was summer after i got out of highschool, i was on dating apps screwing around trying to forget the female best friend i was in love with, hooking up with random men who were six years older than me in random parking lots. damaging myself emotionally basically, because that's what everyone else was doing.

it was consensual sex, although she did insist on not using a condom bc she "couldn't get me pregnant".

I found out later that the relatively short time she'd been on cross sex hormones meant she could, in fact, get me pregnant. I paid for the emergency contraception myself without even asking (even though i was broke af and had just been kicked out by my parents for fucking women) because I didn't want to risk hurting her feelings on her sex and causing dysphoria.

I was 18 and a massive TRA who cared about everyone's comfort but my own.

For years afterwards, i let her talk down to me about how i'm more clocky than she is as a teenager transitioner, what with my hairy arms, PCOS stubble, and stocky shoulders.

It bruised me a bit then, but I prided myself on being a good ally. I shut my mouth because I'd learned from all my liberal feminist instagram activism pages that trans women were the most vulnerable of ALL women, and that they needed to be protected.

Socialized female in a Catholic home with a stay-at-home mother who left a six-figure salary to stay at home and raise my dads children so he could further his career, i'd been brought up to believe that self-sacrifice in women is a heavenly-endowed virtue.

As an annoying lefty from a really early age (still am despite the amount of ppl who want to insist im not a socialist bc i dont believe female people have a dick and balls), I always really LOVED the self-sacrificial aspect of modern activism.

The idea that I could be alleviating some woman's pain by taking on some of it as mine, even if it meant biting my tongue, was legitimately appealing especially because i'd been brought up to believe this was a woman's role.

This transwoman regularly posted online about her extensive drug use and wanting to kill herself so she could be reborn as a woman (even AFTER bottom surgery). I sent her long voicemails consoling her, trying to convince her she looked perfectly feminine on the outside. More feminine than ME certainly!!

And I wasn't lying. She does, she's stunning. When I was a TRA I'd pull up her photos at the dinner table to show my parents how feminine she was.

"Can you really say she's a MAN!" I'd shout, perfectly unaware of the misogyny inherent in assuming "looking feminine" defines womanhood.

I'd find that out for when we attended a sex party together (I went wild and hedonistic after leaving my Catholic household for undergrad, and many of these stories are regrettable but instructive).

I attended with my lover at the time, a sweet butch who was nonbinary herself. there was already a little tension in her attendance. The transwoman i'd slept with confessed, as if this was some horrid secret, that she'd matched with my lover on tinder and was almost convinced she didnt want to slep with her her becasue she was a transwoman.

I knew for a fact my lover had was a lesbian who had trauma with dicks. I also thought it would have been perfectly alright if she just didn't want dick. I had an embryonic idea that it was pretty misogynistic gay men weren't expected to want vagina to the same extent.

But i didn't want to think about that. I KNEW genital preferences were a "TERF dogwhistle".

So when she started pouting at the party after being rejected by my lover. for the second time (talkig sadly to me about how my lover didnt even want to KISS her, and that kissing had nothing to do with her dick and how it was so sooooooo horribly unfair that she didn't have a vagina of her very own) I did feel bad for her. I did see she was in pain. I didn't want her to be in pain. I didn't want my lover to be pilloried for transphobia.

when she asked me if i'd kiss her instead, it didn't seem like a hard decision to let her, even though I had zero sexual interest in her after our first encounter.

i didn't say no- I let her grope me a bit without asking, and consented to touching her chest in return. I did refuse to go further.

it didn't matter. she accused my lover of being a TERF the next day. my lover who also identified as trans.

I still visited her in L.A. after her bottom surgery. This was when I was halfway through discovering radical feminism, and still feeling like a bigot for thinking that the research on children transitioning was actually pretty low quality. I internalized what all my friends told me about TERFS, but I'd also accepted I agreed with radfems. I confided in my partner about how evil I was, convinced i'd be single afterwards. My partner told me I would be ok, as long as I didn't start speaking up about it. how really everyone kind of had these feelings and its most important we let people make their own choices. So i decided to bite my tongue some more. and then she asked me to come see her in L.A.

When I saw her she was still in a lot of pain, especially when dilating (but very happy with her results on the whole). She wasn't well enough to go get food with me so I held her hand and got her water while she lay in her hotel room bed.

I've also seen her since I peaked fully, and despite what some of you might think, no dear reader I did not decide to be awful to her about her transition for no reason, use the "wrong" pronouns, say she looked manly (she doesn't), or tell her I was a radfem.

I didn't see a reason too.

Some part of me didn't want to hurt her, but it was also a pragmatic decision given the kind of online reach she has.

We happened to both be in the same city on vacation so we met for dinner. She regaled me with stories of the sex parties she's been participating in since I left for grad school, complaining that at a recent one only 4/10 of the girls there wanted to sleep with her even though she HAS a vagina now!

she didn't seem to think about the possibility that "a vagina" is not the sole determinant of whether a lesbian would want to sleep with you or not. i see her posting on instagram sometimes about how that hoagie murdereress is a victim of state violence.

i do still reach out to her when i see her struggling. i'm not heartless, but i fully confess to feeling differently when I see her featured as a transitioning success story in the news.

We come from a conservative state originally, and she really likes the camera.

i realize that at this point she can't go back even if she wanted too, and like many (if not most!) radfems i dont support banning HRT for adults partially because I worry about the health impacts of people who have gotten so many surgeries that their bodies physically are unable to create their natal hormones.

I don't want anyone to be hurt no matter how much you think I do. But I no longer believe that means I have to stay quiet and prostrate myself to the idea that humans can change sex.

and I want every female person reading this to know, you do NOT have to sleep with anyone you don't enthusiastically want to sleep with. Self sacrifice in women is NOT a unilateral virtue.

[cripp-tid]

if you can't have kids for medical reasons, i love you. a lot of people emphasize the joy of children, talk about how they changed their life, etc., and that's just not possible for some of us.

so. shoutout to:

• people who can "technically" have children but can't risk the financial stress due to being already disabled/chronically ill

• people who can't get off their medication long enough to conceive

• people with uteruses who have endometriosis or PCOS

• people who can get pregnant, but have a connective tissue disorder which makes them unable to handle the progesterone during pregnancy since it causes flares (hi, it's me)

• intersex conditions that makes you infertile

• anyone who has a terminal illness

• people who've had medically necessary surgeries which caused infertility

• people with genetic conditions they don't want to pass on (me again)

• those who require IVF that's just not in the cards for whatever reason

• and many, many others

• feel free to add on

you're not broken, you have a reason for being like this. i know it's hard. i love you. it's going to be ok. 💙

[iminthetunnels]

if u asked me what me thinks. i think there’s a pcos epidemic from a multitude of reasons. a couple being that diets are male focused. women need different nutrients from men. we need more carbs, more fat, more omegas than a man does. not even just for pregnant and nursing women, but all women. there’s this notion that “i don’t want kids so i don’t have to follow that diet” but you’re still a woman who needs these important nutrients to fuel your body and mind.

second would be our lack of knowledge around menstruation. more often than not, we are told “you will shed uterine lining once a month” but we never get into knowledge of ovulation and phases a woman’s body goes thru. we need certain nutrients during these times as well. it’s rly crazy how intricate a woman’s body is.

lastly, i would say stress. women who suffered abuse as a child are more likely to experience uterine conditions. i could go onnnnn and onnnnnnnn about this specific stress topic. women are more likely to be abused as children and in society in general. women are more likely to suffer inadequacy in jobs, parenthood, and school. time and time we see how women suffer and i am in no way stating that men don’t have disadvantages. but i am solely speaking as a woman myself. my position and testimony in life.

[bisquid]

I've had a lot of responses to my 'I'm never having kids' spiel that boil down to 'oh so you hate kids then?!' and/or 'oh but you'll love your kids!'

And I'm just.... tired. Because while yes, part of it is that I don't want to go through the serious physical and emotional stress of pregnancy (if I even can get pregnant, which between the endo and pcos is REALLY not guaranteed), and really don't want to completely upend my way of life with the addition of a loud, chaotic and entirely dependent human being for the next minimum eighteen years, the main issue is that I would be bad at parenting. It's not a matter of love - I would love that child with my entire being - it's a recognition of how spectacularly unsuited I am to the practicalities of parenthood.

I struggle to remember to feed and wash and do laundry for myself, and a child needs those things done regularly and competently on a level I, as an independent adult, do not.

It's not fair to me or to any hypothetical child, and it's because I like kids that I recognise that I should never have any, because I would not be able to provide them the appropriate care. At best it would result in an overly independent child used to making up for my failures, at worst it would fester into resentment on both sides, and either way I don't want to put an innocent child through that.

[sparkly-sediment]

Tf2 Mercs Period flow headcanons

Free will strikes again 😈😈

Heavy

The Red terror

Very heavy flow that last 6-7 days. The longest she’s had is 9 days and it took bear meat to recover

The blood is usually dark brown and overall a bit of a delayed flow

Calls it her menstrual cycle only. Heavy isn’t big on midol or pain relief (Russian grit af)

Will always use a warm water bottle tho

Only used scraps of fabric until her 20s. Heavy doesn’t like pads because they feel like diapers and she doesn’t fuck with tampons until she has sex for the first time so she won’t “loose her virginity to stick”

We need more sex education

Ultra tampons for business, free bleed in the period draws for leisure

Sniper

Bush woman

Some hardcore feminist shit. Walk into the woods and menstruate on a stick indigo girls concert transparent

(if you get that i love you)

Sniper normally just free bleeds or like dries out her vagina during bathroom breaks. She smokes weed for cramps and gets bad period diarrhea

Very light, irregular periods. Completely skips some months due to stress and malnutrition (and she looses her appetite on her period!!(

Severe period exhaustion 😮‍💨

Flow is bright red or faint. Might be some blood on the briefs on the first/second morning but then not much happening outside of clots.

Would have fertility issues I feel

Sniper gets anemic on her period and resists taking the supplements Medic recommends. Finally he fights her into taking them and, shocker! She’s not passing out when she stands

Has tasted her period blood clots. Canon I fear

Says on the rag

Demo

MENACE

Demo has a moderate flow but pretty gnarly cramps. The sharp, pulsing kind. Hurts like a bitch!!

Flushes tampons and could give two fucks

She drinks more on her period and has wicked period shits. Possibly the worst asshole cramps in the group, and don’t even get me started on sore nipples

Thick dark red blood. Not hard blood clots but large bloody goops and liquid. Has to shower more often on her period 😔

Super and super plus tampons and the hospital grade pads. Completely unnecessary but Demo gets the biggest most crinkly padding pads of all time!!! Why!!!???!!!

PCOS queen. Thicker body hair, wild anger at times, and cysts!!! When one bursts she finally goes to Medic who immediately gives morphine and some weird blue sludge

Pain was gone but she did wake up with a third kidney

Scout

Type of bitch to get pregnant while pregnant

What a nightmare! PMS like a mother fucker! Scout becomes a snappy little bitch on her period. Terrorizes the base and just crashes out for no reason

If you eat her food so help you God

Really strong cravings and really intense ovulation. Yk how some women really go into heat when they ovulate? Like REALLY lock in? That’s Scout

Fertile and loves chocolate but aggressive

BAWLS ON HER PERIOD and period breakouts

Lighter/moderate flow. More than Sniper but less than Demo

Running really helps her cramps but they usually go to about 5/10 at worst

Her boobs always hurt worse than anything else and she’ll wear a sports bra instead of wrapping them for work

regular tampons and refuses go wear a pad

Medic

I will be using he/him pronouns because period!medic isn’t a gender bend. Medic wanted to feel even closer to his baboons and so he installed the necessary organs to build and birth them

Unwanted and unforeseen side effect 😔

Sturdy but average flow and a very consistent cycle. Bright red with brown spotting towards the end. He keeps a calendar and tracks ovulation

He would have period sex. No question. And, in a sick and wicked manner, would blow them after 😋

horrible to imagine. Anyway, Medic has rougher periods with heavy hormone fluctuations. Intense mood swings, fatigue, and some month deals with painful ovarian cysts

His periods don’t normally have too bad cramps!! He’s just sore in the southern skies and has some lightning sharp stabbing pains in his asshole

Medicates fully and all the way except in the beginning when he monitored the function more closely

Light period acne heavy metalic scent. Feels very tender and hungry

Soldier

Free bleeds and gets blood everywhere

Heavy flow and pretty intense cramps. And, rage. Period rage. Heightened by her pain and immense discomfort and all of her sheets have stains

Dark brown blood and irregular. Can bleed for days and has had 11-12 day periods that completely drain her

Her cramps will leave her bed ridden. If she has to go to battle, there will be NO indication of her pain. She might even be worse to over compensate. But Soldier will run a little slower and land from rocket jumps much more gently

Cries in the locker room and respawn when alone 😭😭😭😭 my shayla

Unless she’s gassed up for battle Soldier is much quieter on his period and sluggish

Eats so much omg decimates that kitchen. The team has to have a meeting because they’ve gone to the store three days in a row, and this is the forth morning everything is gobbled down in the night by a certain greedy little rat

Every time she starts her period she marches into the medbay to LOUDLY announce it. This is the only time she ever mentions the topic of menstruation in relation to herself

Will say fucked up shit tho. Tells Scout blood attracts bears and viciously growls after finding Scout’s tampons

Spy

Eats steak almost nightly when on her period

She refuses to discuss such things with the team and calls it tasteless conversation

INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY and does everything she can to hide her period. Will use kitty perfume to avoid blood smell, tampons only and she hides the wrappers before throwing them out

Heavier flow with low pain. She’ll feel the most discomfort in the cervix area but she doesn’t experience much cramping

Red/brown mix and very spotting days 1-3. Day 3/4-5 is heavy flow and then day six is usually the end

Midol in a Tylenol bottle 😭

She becomes a wicked bitch. Horrifically snappy and will bite your head off. Some period shits. Boobs hurt the week before

Engineer

Her periods are dandy.

Yk how people say periods last 3-5 days? And you’re like, who the fuck is having three day periods?

It’s this gal

Engineer has some mild cramping but it lasts ALL day. From the first flutter of her eyes to the final rest, her uterus is aching

Tight period cramps and a lighter flow. She wears regular and lite tampons for two days and then is good

Bright red and thin blood. Never has big clots and rarely has goopy blood

Her discharge is tinted pink or brown for about a week though so it does balance out

She will smell really strongly of blood like the ripe period embarrassing smell

Working in the workshop when she catches a whiff of the 🩸🐱 but she likes feeling primal and will work into the dank night

Engineer eats all chocolate in the based and will probably eat every cookie too

Period rage that rivals Soldier’s

Pyro

Free bleeds and doesn’t practice good hygiene. She won’t change her clothes- including underwear- any differently despite having blood all up in it

Pyro doesn’t have much liquid blood, but a lot of clotting and clumps of tissue

Because of this and a lack of good hygiene she has a worse smell, and it is noticeable to others. Pyro always smells burnt though so it isn’t exactly traceable

Heavier flow, WOULD use super plus tampons

Pyro has worn pads in the past but she dislikes the diaper feel and she never likes the sensory experience of period products

She’s much sleepier on her period and will curl up to nap. If not in her bed then wherever

[heavyhitterheaux]

Ghost Part 1

AN: everyone ignore the fact that it took me almost a year to finish this lol

Synopsis: You're an OnlyFans model that gets pregnant by none other than Jack Harlow, who runs at the first sign of taking responsibility for his actions. But soon enough, his responsibilities get to be too much for him to ignore

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

'I'm a good girl'

At least that’s what you told yourself 

But good girls didn't go to school by day and were a cam girl at night.

However, you were 

It was only for a little while

Just until you finished school

You needed a way to pay for it somehow

Besides the money was good and it kept a roof over your head

You admit that this wasn't your first choice in a career path obviously, but you had to do what you had to do in order to survive.

You had been in foster care since you were 9 because your parents and brother passed away in a car accident while you were the lone survivor

Your grandparents were older and they couldn't take care of you so that's when you went into the system 

Your aunt which was your mother's sister and your mother didn't get along and she said that there was no way in hell that she would take you and that you were someone else’s problem

I mean she did have five kids of her own to take care of, but to be that cold hearted to a nine year old?

You admit that you had survivor's guilt and would do anything to have all three of them here with you. But you knew that they would have wanted for you to have the best life that you could possibly have and that you were going to make sure of it. 

But if they were here, then maybe just maybe, your current life would be different.

You had dreams of becoming a preschool teacher since you were diagnosed at 15 with PCOS and you were told that your chances of getting pregnant were slim to none. It definitely hurt because since you didn’t have any immediate family left, that you wanted to have as many as you could. 

But you figured if you couldn’t have any of your own that you would teach them instead. If you could plant little seeds into their minds that will be able to set them up for greatness then you were all for it. 

You put on your newest lingerie set that was gifted to you by one if not your favorite supporter you would say who went by the name Mr.Missionary and was setting up your camera in order to get the perfect view.

One thing about you is that you never showed your face

Only thing they could see was from the neck down

You did that on purpose because the last thing you wanted was for someone to know what you looked like.

It wasn't the fact that you were embarrassed of what you did, but you wanted to remain as anonymous as possible so for the future, your career wouldn't be impacted. You could only imagine what would happen if someone found out what you had done in college when you were teaching their small children. It probably wouldn’t be good and the next thing that would probably happen is you being out of a job. 

You saw time and time again that happening to different people and that's one thing you did not want to deal with.

But, back to Mr. Missionary

He was a sweet talker and knew exactly what to say.

It all started with a message from him asking you if you were comfortable showing your face to him.

Since he had been supportive of you since day one, you figured why not. But also told him not to share any of the photos that you sent him to anyone else. 

So your jaw definitely dropped when you answered the incoming facetime call and was staring back at no one other than Jack Harlow.

The two of you would talk every week and you mentioned one time how you had never been off the east coast before and would love to go. Only Fans did pay well now that you had a lot of subscribers, but it hadn’t always been that way. However, you really only used the money for school and to make sure that you had a place to live. 

The semester had just ended and you weren't taking any classes during the summer so Jack offered to fly you out to L.A. to spend a week with him while he was recording new songs and you quickly said yes. 

This would happen periodically, him flying you out to different cities to meet him all summer long and soon you found yourself getting ready for the new semester to start.

You had about another year to go at Howard University in D.C. until you graduated with your degree in early childhood education while your friend Nadia was majoring in business administration.

The two of you met your freshman year and had been close ever since when you had to take a few prerequisite classes together.

She was from Louisville and was a big fan of Jack, but you didn't bother telling her what had happened between the two of you.

You signed an NDA anyway.

And since she had gone home for the summer, she had no reason for the thought to even cross her mind. 

But when you just so happened to go to your OB/GYN appointment you had gotten a huge surprise.

You were pregnant and apparently had been for three months.

Your period was irregular and you would often go for months without getting one so you thought nothing of it.

The first thing you did when you got back to your apartment was call Nadia and couldn’t help but to blurt it out.

"I'M PREGNANT!"

"Well first of all hello to you too and WHAT?!”

"I can't get pregnant! At least that's what I was told. They told me that when I was fifteen!"

"Well apparently you can. How far along are you?"

"Three months apparently and I had absolutely no idea. I wasn’t craving anything, no morning sickness, no nothing. None of the usual symptoms."

"Oh so when the semester ended, those legs were open for business, huh?"

"NADIA! BE SERIOUS PLEASE." You said while pacing around your bedroom. 

"Well, who's the father? Did you tell him?"

"Sooo, this is probably going to sound really bad." You muttered while pouring yourself something to drink.

You couldn’t see Nadia’s face, but you could just imagine how it looked. 

"I mean, how bad? You're an adult who can do what you want."

"Ummm…. He’s one of my supporters for my cam show."

"Y/N!!!! IS THAT WHY YOU WERE FLYING EVERYWHERE THIS SUMMER!? YOU WENT TO SEE HIM DIDN’T YOU? DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT COULD HAVE BEEN?"

"Um, maybe and well, I didn’t die."

"What do you mean maybe?! It's either yes or no! And you didn’t die, but now you came back pregnant!”

"Uh, then yes."

"You need to tell him NOW. It’s his responsibility as much as it is yours."

"I will and then I'll call you back." You said while sighing. 

You didn't have enough courage to call him, but you needed to. It was better to get it over with sooner rather than later. 

You knew he was busy and decided to text him first.

You- Hey, call me when you get a chance 

Jack- I will right before I go to sleep tonight. Hopefully I can get another private show 😉

You didn't even bother responding and just waited for your phone to ring while working on assignments you had to do for class instead. 

Another thing you had to worry about now was graduating on time since you were now pregnant and would be due at the start of the last semester before you graduated. 

It was around 11:52 pm when your phone finally rang indicating an incoming facetime call from Jack.

"Hey pretty girl. I'm sorry it took me so long to call you.”

"Hey. It's okay, I was just studying while I waited.”  You quietly said and Jack was immediately eyeing you knowing that something was wrong.

"You okay?" Jack curiously asked while looking at your solemn expression.

"No, not exactly." You quietly responded while starting to fidget as you closed your textbook that was in front of you.

It was now or never.

"What's going on?"

You took a deep sigh before the words left your mouth. Might as well get it over with.

"I'm pregnant." 

Jack immediately went quiet and pinched the bridge of his nose before he said anything.

"I thought you said that you couldn't get pregnant and I always wore protection every time just in case."

"I thought so too and obviously you didn't."

"How do you know it's mine?" You immediately rolled your eyes.

"Didn't I spend basically the entire summer with you?"

"Some of it, not all of it. I don't know what you were doing when you weren't with me." Your jaw had hit the floor. He had some nerve.

"Don't do that. Why would I lie?"

"I'm being honest. Don't get mad at me for telling the truth. And why would you lie? Because I’m a millionaire the last time I checked, that’s why. Sounds like you tried to trap me." 

"Look, I just want them taken care of. AND EXCUSE ME? TRAP YOU? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?"

"I still don't see what that has to do with me and yes trap me, you heard me the first time."

"Seriously? How could you even say that? I have given you no reason to think that about me."

“Well people can surprise you, everyday. Until I get a paternity test, I'm not believing anything."

That was about three years ago and nothing has changed since then.

You were basically a single mother and Jack popped in occasionally when he wanted to. 

Which wasn't often. 

You were struggling living on your own with no support system in D.C. and Nadia had convinced you to move to Kentucky to be near her so she could help out as much as she could. Her business was finally taking off and she told you that you could find a teaching job at one of the elementary schools since they were hiring for preschool teachers.

When Jack found out that you had moved to Louisville he was not only convinced that you trapped him, but now you were stalking him too.

He had no idea that you were in this by yourself, literally. No help from family or anything.

You could count on one hand how many times Jack had seen Ace since birth and you came to the conclusion that you were probably going to be a single mother and stopped asking him for anything. The last time that he had talked to you was almost two months ago. During that three minute conversation he didn’t even ask how his son was and he only lived less than fifteen minutes away from you.

After the paternity test was done and Jack was proven to be the father, he had accidentally left the paper out on the table and no one other than his younger brother Clay found it. He had questioned Jack about it and because Clay was holding the obvious proof in his hands there was no possible way for him to back out of it. Clay then took it upon himself to reach out to you because he wanted to meet Ace. He met him when he was a month old and at that time Jack had only been to see him once. Because of how he acted, you knew early on not to put his last name on Ace’s birth certificate.  

After moving to Louisville, you met two of Nadia’s close friends, Blaire and Liv. Blaire was a baker who had her own bakery and would have breakfast waiting for you every day for you and Ace before you dropped him off at daycare and went to the school to teach while Liv taught kindergarten at the same school where you were. All four of you had become extremely close, but none of them knew who Ace’s father was. 

Because you signed an NDA, all you ever told them was that he really wasn’t a part of his life and that you were doing this all on your own and they accepted that as an explanation, but it was only a matter of time before they found out the truth. You knew that they would all look at him differently because they were such big fans of him. Plenty of times they had asked you to go to his concerts with him, but you steadily declined, but they never questioned why. 

All Jack did was send money to help with daycare and that’s when he actually remembered to do it. You got a discount since it was actually in the same school as where you taught, but it was still expensive. Especially on the salary that you got.

It was currently almost four in the afternoon and Jack was supposed to pick Ace up to spend time with him and you were hoping that they would be able to spend more time together. You knew that his career was demanding and he was at the height of it, but you just wanted Ace to have a relationship with him. He told you that he would be coming around 2 and that he would take Ace to the Louisville basketball game later with the rest of PG and spend the weekend with him. 

From what you knew, Urban was the only one who knew about Ace and was guessing that this would be his opportunity to tell them. You sighed as you looked at your baby waiting at the door with his little backpack on wanting to see the moment his dad was going to come through the door. 

After a while, he just sat down and sighed which made your heart break.

“Mommy, daddy not coming is he?” He quietly asked you and all you did was sigh.

“We just have to wait and see, bub. Maybe daddy got busy and got caught up with doing something.” One thing that you were tired of doing was making excuses for Jack.

“Does daddy love me?” He looked up at you with tears in his eyes and you quickly sat down next to him and slid him into your lap.

It took everything in you not to cry right then and there, but immediately pulled out your phone to call him.

“Of course he does. Here, baby. Let’s call him to see where he is.”

You didn’t know if you were trying to convince Ace or convince yourself.

You put the phone to Ace’s ear and Jack actually picked up on the third ring which you were surprised by.

“Hello?”

“DADDY! Where you at? Still coming to get me?”

“Oh, hey little man. Um, something came up, but I promise to get you another day.”

“But you promised you were coming today. You said that last time.”

“I know, bubs but I’ve just been so busy.”

Not wanting for the conversation to go on any further, Ace handed the phone to you with tears in his eyes, threw off his backpack and ran down the hallway into his room.

“Ace!” You called after him, but he continued down the hallway. 

“Are you…..? Are you serious right now?! You made him cry because all you do is fucking lie to him and to me!” You took a deep breath before letting him have it. 

“Y/N, please don’t fucking start.” You heard him say before sighing and you could hear cheering going on in the background indicating that he was already at the game.

“Oh, I’m going to fucking start because he has been excited for this all week! Why would you bail on your son like that? You did the same shit last time. You begged me to come and see him and when I told you what time would work best, what did you do? Not even bother to show up. Either you want to be in his life or you don’t and you need to make a decision. Tired of my child constantly being disappointed in his father.”

“Look, I’ll talk to you later.” Jack said and then hung up without another word leaving you fuming from your conversation. 

You simply got up while grabbing Ace’s backpack and made your way to his room. Once you opened the door, you found him laying down with his head resting on his hands just staring off into space.

“Ace….”

“Mommy, can we just go to the park?” He asked not even mentioning what Jack had done.

“Sure, baby. Whatever you want. I also think that it’s a perfect day for ice cream. What do you say?”

At the mention of ice cream, Ace immediately perked up and eagerly nodded his head.

“Can I get chocolate chip cookie dough?”

“Whatever my Ace wants, he gets.”

Upon hearing this, he immediately smiled and you were happy that you could take his mind off of what his father had promised him, at least for a little while. 

Two weeks had passed and you were rushing to get both of you out of the door and to Blaire’s bakery for breakfast so that the two of you would at least have something on your stomach for the busy day ahead.

You had sent a text last night to Jack asking him to send you money for daycare for the month of October, but he never responded leaving you frustrated because you literally now only had 24 hours to come up with the money otherwise you weren’t quite sure what you were going to do.

Your Only Fans was still active, but that was a last resort.

While driving to the bakery, Ace fell asleep in the backseat when you decided to call him.

“Yes, Y/N? What now? I’m busy.”

“Good morning to you too. Did you get my text last night?” You asked after rolling your eyes at how he greeted you.

“Didn’t I just give you money for daycare? Why do you need more already?”

“You see, Jackman….”

“Don’t call me that.”

“That’s your name isn’t it? Given to you by your parents?”

“Look, what do you want? I’m in the studio.”

“No need to be rude. I need more money for daycare. I have to pay it every month.”

“Why the fuck is it so expensive? Got damn a round trip to L.A. is cheaper.”

“I don’t know, but I already get a discount and I have to pay it by tomorrow so can you just send it to me?”

“1600 dollars?!? That’s the discounted price? You have got to be fucking kidding me. They act like you have six fucking kids. He’s one person.”

“Just… can you do it or not? I wouldn't ask you unless I absolutely had to.” You asked, hating that you even had to do so.

“Yeah, I’ll send it and you better be using it for daycare and not something else. Because if I find out you did, you better not ask me for it again. Anything else you want to bother me about?”

“Ace is in the car. Do you want to say good morning to him?”

“Not really. I’ll call him later. Bye.”

“I-....”

Jack hung up without another word and all you did was shake your head at him and how your three year old is more well mannered than he is.

Once you pulled up to the bakery, Blaire met you outside on the curb and immediately ran to your window with a bag of food as well as two drinks. A hot chocolate for Ace and her specially made coffee for you. You swore that she put jet fuel in it and as many times as you asked her for the recipe, she never told you. 

It literally allowed for you to stay energized throughout the day and didn't even want to know how much caffeine was in it.

She handed you yours, while she opened Ace’s door and handed him his.

“Thank you, Auntie Blaire.” He quietly said before taking it and you looked back at him to see that he was pouting and Blaire immediately asked him what was wrong before you could.

“Daddy didn’t say good morning to me when he talked to mommy.”

Oh.

So he was awake.

“I’m just sure he was really busy. You can try calling him later once you get home, yeah?” She said to try and get a smile at him, but all he did was nod his head.

So much for getting a good start to the day.

Ace had been upset the entire time he was in daycare even when you went to go and check on him and brought a cookie as a peace offering which he wasn't excited by and thought that making his latest favorite dinner might take his mind off of it. 

You never in a million years thought that Ace would love to help you cook, but here you were. He told you that he wanted to be a chef when he grew up, so you obviously set him up with everything that he might need.

He told you on the way home that he wanted to make chicken parm with noodles so you stopped by the store to grab the ingredients.

Ace was wearing his apron that you had gotten him as a gift for his birthday which said Chef Ace on it and standing on his step stool to add salt to the boiling water for the noodles while you were finishing cutting up the chicken and about to start making the breading for it.

He didn't bring up for the rest of the day what had happened with Jack earlier, but you had a feeling that it was coming and more than likely it would be around bedtime. But for now, you were simply going to focus on spending time with your little one.

“Ace, do you want to grab the Italian seasoning for mommy to use?”

“Yes!”

He promptly moved his step stool to be in front of the spice cabinet and climbed up when there was a knock on the door.

Ace had handed it to you and stepped down before going to get a sip of juice out of his sippy cup.

“Be right back, bubs. Remember don't touch anything without mommy being in here with you. We don't need you getting hurt.”

“Okay, promise.” He quickly answered before taking another swig of his juice as you went to answer the door to come face to face with Nadia,  Blaire, and Liv.

“Heyyy. Blaire told us baby daddy troubles this morning sooooo…. We brought wine and lemon cake that Blaire made for Ace.” Nadia said as she held up the wine and Liv held up the cake and all three of them were smiling back at you.

“You guys didn't….”

“Shut up and let us in. Yes we did and what is our little chef making tonight?” Liv asked as you moved to the side and let them in while closing the door behind you.

“Chicken parm and salad and Blaire’s cake can be added to that now.”

“HI AUNTIES!” You heard Ace as he ran full speed towards the four of you.

“Auntie’s baby!” Nadia exclaimed as she opened her arms to engulf him into a hug.

“Food should be about done in another thirty minutes.”

“Well until then, we have the wine to keep us occupied.”

After gushing over how good the meal was along with Blaire’s lemon cake, Nadia pulled out her phone and shoved it towards you.

“What am I looking at?” You asked her as Ace had climbed into your lap.

“Jack Harlow and his No Place Like Home concert. I thought I would get tickets for all of us to go.”

Ace then peered at her phone and got a confused look on his face.

“Oh, that's daddy!”

Silence.

Looks of shock.

Looks of disbelief.

Nadia, Liv, and Blaire knew how intelligent Ace was so they didn't think that this would be something that he would lie about all while trying to wrap their heads around it.

When no one said anything, Ace turned to look at you.

“Are we going to call him before I go to sleep?”

“Um, sure bubs. We’ll call him. Do you want to go and pick out a book for us to read tonight before we do?”

He eagerly nodded before hopping down off your lap and heading to his bookshelf in his bedroom.

All you did was sigh and wait for the interrogation to begin.

Nadia was first.

“Y/N!!!!! I…. WHAT!?”

“Do not say anything because the last thing I need is him finding out that other people know.”

“He is a literal ASSHOLE to you and Ace. The mother of his son and his actual son. All the shit that you’ve told us he’s done!?! Or hasn't done for that matter.” Liv exclaimed as she poured herself another glass of wine.

“So that's who was flying you out that summer?”

You simply nodded.

“Y/N…..”

“Look, I don't need the looks of pity. I’m fine, my son is fine and that's all that matters. We’re going to be okay with or without him.”

Blaire who had been quiet the entire time simply shook her head.

“I can always call my brothers to jump him.”

“NO, BLAIRE!”

“The offer still stands. Just say the word.” She replied while shrugging.

“I know how you three love his music so get the tickets and have fun. Me and Ace will be okay.”

“No. One band, one sound bitch. If you have beef with Jack Harlow, so do we.” Nadia said while crossing her arms. 

“Come to think of it… Ace does look an awful lot like him.”

“All I can do every day when we go out is pray that no one notices. I have to protect him and it’s sad that I actually have to do it from his father.”

It was around 7 PM when you had finished giving Ace a bath and had finished reading the book that he picked out earlier to him when he asked to call Jack.

“Can we call daddy now?” He asked looking up at you hopeful and all you did was give him a small smile.

“Of course we can.”

You grabbed your phone and attempted to call Jack on facetime while handing it to Ace.

All it did was continuously ring and you saw the pout on Ace’s face become more pronounced.

“Maybe, he’s just busy, bubs.” You quietly said before you took your phone back and the look of disappointment across his face broke your heart.

“He’s always busy, mommy.”

“But, at least you get to spend the day with him tomorrow! That’s something to be excited about. Do you have any idea about what you want to do?”

Jack had begged you to come and get him tomorrow to make up for not taking him to the basketball game with him and as much as you felt that he was going to go back on his word, but you were willing to give him another chance. But the chances were slowly running out.

“No, I’m just sleepy.”

“Okay, let’s get tucked in so we can sleep.”

Once you had gotten Ace settled, you went into your room and logged onto your banking app to see that Jack in fact did send you the money to pay for daycare and you let out a sigh of relief that you didn’t realize that you had been holding. 

Ten minutes later, you got a text from him.

Jack- I’ll come and get him tomorrow. Be there around nine. 

Hopefully this was a way for him to redeem himself for not showing up the other day and prayed that he would follow through. 

You were tired of seeing your child disappointed. 

The next morning after getting Ace ready, Clay came to get him and you would say that you were surprised that it wasn’t Jack, but that would be a lie. Ace was still excited to see Clay, so the last thing you wanted to do was upset him. You got to have a full day to yourself which you hadn’t had in a while.

Your time was spent going to the mall, seeing a movie, and even going to your favorite restaurant by yourself.

You made sure to soak this all in because you didn’t know the next time that you would be able to get another opportunity to do this and spend your time and money on yourself.

It was around 5 PM when Clay dropped off Ace who you could tell was still on a sugar high since he was running around the apartment and not able to keep still for three minutes when you got on the topic of Clay’s brother since you knew that it was inevitable. 

"Clay, I have given him chance after chance to do right by him and he literally disappoints me and him every time." 

"I know and I'm…."

"No. Do not apologize for him. If he could have just seen his face when he promised to come and get him to go to the game with all of you and to have a cooking date and he didn't show. Like my baby was bawling with tears running down his face and asked me does daddy even love me? Clay my heart can't take too much more of this. This has been going on for way longer than it should have. My son is my entire world and he deserves a father in his life that wants to be consistent and be there for him. I don't think Jack will ever get there." 

"So I guess I shouldn't tell you that he still hasn't told our parents about you or Ace?" Clay asked while scratching the back of his neck.

You then looked at Clay in disbelief as Ace came up on your left side and lifted his hands up to indicate he wanted to be picked up by you or his uncle and Clay quickly did. 

"Your brother is just full of surprises isn't he? You're more of a father to him than he is."

"Reality hasn't hit him yet."

"It doesn't take three years. It's just crazy how you were the only one who welcomed him with open arms, but then again you had already saw the DNA results so you had no choice but to believe me. I guess Jack never thought in his wildest dreams he would sleep with a cam girl and end up with a kid."

Just then your phone went off indicating a text from the man of the hour.

Jack- Y/N, I know you're mad at me but I promise to get him next time.

You- Don't even worry about it. Once again your little brother is stepping up and doing what you should have done. So much that he actually called him dad the other day. Think about that.

You saw Jack would start texting and then stop indicating that he didn't have a good comeback for that one.

How could he?

It had been a quick slip up a few weeks ago by Ace, but Clay simply brushed it off and thought nothing of it. You remembered him saying to Ace, ‘Well we do look alike, don’t we?’ And he quickly agreed.

And just then your phone went off indicating Jack was calling you.

"What?" You asked as you rolled your eyes.

"I'll be outside in 20 minutes and I want to see my son."

Once you hung up, Clay turned to you and asked you what he said.

“He said that he wants to see him, but my thing is that if you really did want to see him then you would have gotten him earlier. The last thing he better do when he comes in here is make a scene.”

Twenty minutes didn’t even pass before you heard knocking on the front door and you immediately rolled your eyes before getting up to answer it.

Once you did, Jack was clearly annoyed and was looking right past you to see where Ace was.

“Where’s my son?”

“Oh, so now he’s your son? Are there certain days of the week that you claim him or?”

“Y/N, I’m not doing this with you right now, where is Ace?”

“He’s with your brother in the kitchen if you must know and you better not go in there and make him upset.”

“Now, why would I make him upset?”

“I don’t know, you tell me. Since all he knows you’re good for is disappointing him.”

Jack didn’t even bother to respond as he walked past you to come face to face with Clay playing with Ace.

Once Ace saw him, he quickly ran to hide behind Clay.

“Bubs, it’s me, daddy. No reason to be scared.”

All Ace did was peek out behind Clay’s leg who was trying to also tell him that it was okay.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t come and get you today, but I promise that I will next time.”

This led to Ace shaking his head no and holding onto Clay’s leg tighter.

“Ace, what’s the matter?” Jack asked seeing as Ace had never acted this way towards him before.

“Daddy, you forgot about me….. Again.”

“I… I didn’t forget. Daddy’s just been really busy, but I’m here now.”

“Maybe if you actually showed up when you were supposed to this wouldn’t be happening.” Clay snapped at Jack as Ace quickly ran to you and you picked him up as he hid in the crook of your neck.

“Clay, I already get it enough from Y/N, I don’t need to hear it from you too.”

“Well obviously you do, because hearing it from one person obviously isn’t enough! Now, why is your kid calling me daddy? Oh, right. Because his real dad actually ignores him.” Clay said while raising his voice at his older brother.

“I DON’T IGNORE MY SON!”

“WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU ACTUALLY SPENT TIME WITH HIM? I’VE SEEN HIM MORE TIMES SINCE HE’S BEEN ALIVE THAN YOU HAVE!”

At their heated exchange, Ace began to cry and you knew that you needed to put a stop to this immediately.

“Okay, you two, we’re done. Jack, get out.”

“If I leave, I’m taking Ace with me.”

“You are not taking MY son anywhere. Can’t you see how upset you made him? And I told you once you step foot in here not to upset him and you did the exact opposite. Just leave. You've done enough.”

Jack had let out a frustrated sigh as he was contemplating his next move. He stepped towards you, but was immediately blocked by Clay stepping in front of you.

“Just do what she asked you to do and leave.”

Taglist:

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[dxmedstudent]

Things to not say to infertile folks:

A lot of people don't really know what to say when discussing infertility, and a lot of people who are struggling with it complain that people say hurtful or triggering things to them - often unintentionally.

So I thought I'd write a guide about what not to say, taken , unfortunatelyfrom hearing or seeing people express these opinions:

You just need to relax/get drunk/go on holiday/not stress so much/not want it so much.

Telling someone to be more relaxed or less stressed doesn't work - kind of like telling someone to calm them down doesn't, in fact, calm them down. It also minimises the fact that a lot of people with fertility problems have actual medical problems causing the situation, which may require treatment or might even be untreatable.

It also comes with the (likely unintentional) implication that it's your fault for not conceiving because unlike everyone else, you're just not relaxing enough. You fail at relaxing. You're doing trying wrong.

So you can't have kids? Like, at all?

Putting aside that it is a little insensitive to say this, technically infertility means that a couple tried to have kids for a year or more but were unsuccessful. Infertility is reduced fertility, and sometimes the term subfertity is seen as more accurate.

People can be told that they have a condition that affects fertility like fibroids, PCOS or endometriosis, but they may still conceive if having unprotected PIV sex and should still use contraception if they do not wish to get pregnant.

This is also why folks on T and folks on oestrogen/progesterone HRT should talk to their team about contraception, whether they are cis or trans. Whilst taking HRT can sometimes reduce fertility it does NOT render you sterile and people often need to use an additional contraceptive.

Sterility means being completely unable to have kids - for example, if you have had both gonads removed.

Infertile couples can sometimes eventually have children unassisted, and most infertile couples manage to conceive with fertility treatment.

Have you tried having sex/tracking ovulation/insert absolutely beginner knowledge here)?

Oh crap, we've been mistakenly putting it up the ass this entire time! Silly me!

Unless you're the couple's doctor and your job is to walk them through every possible issue and make sure nothing is missed, please assume that they have done their research and have the basic stuff down.  Treat people as if they are sensible and competent. Believe people when they say there is a problem. Leave the diagnosing to their fertility team.

Because when you think about it, if a couple have been trying for like 3 years and you ask them if they've tried LH strips, it's kind of patronising.

You didn't become an expert just because you accidentally got pregnant 5 years ago or conceived first try with your second. People who have been struggling with a health problem for years have usually done a ton of reading, speaking to healthcare professionals and lots of tests - they almost certainly know a lot more than you about it.

Oh yeah, I know how you feel! I've been trying for 2 months / hope to have kids and I'm terrified of being infertile, I couldn't stand that. It would ruin my life!

There's a place for sharing your concerns, but please don't expect people suffering a condition to have to console you about how bad it would be for you to live their life. Infertile people don't want to hear that their life is your worst nightmare, it's just a rude thing to tell someone.

Don't tell people with coeliac you'd die if you couldn't eat pasta, don't tell people who are blind that you'd end yourself if you couldn't paint or watch TV. Just ... have some tact.

Ha, being a parent is hard, are you sure you want that? Would you take one of mine?

No, Debra.

Please stop making light of someone's personal grief or disability. This is like making boomer "I hate my wife" jokes to someone who just lost their spouse.

But what do I say, then? I don't know what to say!

I've legitimately seen people say the most insensitive thinfs and then turn around to say this.

But...

You don't have to say anything- believe it or not you don't have to offer an opinion or advice on sonething you know nothing about. They aren't waiting on YOU to fix their problem or give them advice on something a team of specialists hasn't been able to fix.

If someone tells you that they are having fertility issues, just tell them you're sorry to hear that and that you hope it works for them soon. Or ask them if they want to talk about it and let them know you are there to listen.

More things not to say after the cut...

My friend's aunt's cousin was about to have infertility treatment, then they just had twins! I'm sure that will happen for you, when you stop trying!

Everyone tells us their one in a million "miracle stories"... but they just aren't fun to hear, for many people with infertility. They may give some people hope, but they can make people feel even more isolated and unlucky because we KNOW how unlikely it is that we'll have that same luck.

Also for most of us, stopping trying would make actually conceiving and carrying to term extremely unlikely. Please don't discourage people from seeking medical help when they need it.

Well I don't think IVF/using a donor/single parent families/lgbtq families is right/natural.

It's great that you don't need it and don't have to have it, then! But your opinion is kind of irrelevant to everyone else.

Lots of modern medicine isn't natural - and as a doctor, I REALLY don't think "naturalness" or your personal comfort level with a treatment you are completely ignorant about is a relevant metric for how beneficial a medical treatment is to the people who need it. 

We've spent all of human civilisation working to give us more tools (and better ones) to help people. IVF is a tool. It's an accommodation for a disability or inability due to circumstances that lets some people overcome their medical conditions or circumstances.

Are you saying that to cancer patients? To people wearing a cast for their broken arm? To people wearing a prosthesis for their amputated leg? I absolutely hope not. Please do not do that.

Other people's medical treatments are between them and their clinicians. If you don't like it? You're free to not have said treatment. If you don't want kids, you are free to not have any. I'm a passionate advocate for access to reproductive care, contraception and abortion.

But if you're pro abortion, you cannot meaningfully be anti-fertility treatment. Because you either believe in bodily autonomy or you don't. You can't pick and choose only when it benefits you.

I just think that if you can't have kids naturally, then your body/nother nature/God is telling you something and you should just stop trying. Maybe your genes are just bad and shouldn't be spread. Maybe you just wouldn't make a great parent.

Look, nature is stupid. It gives kids type 1 diabetes and genetic conditions that kill them in infancy and gives your loved ones cancer. Do you go around telling everyone that they should just due or accept being permanently seriously ill or disabled because nature gave them an illness? Do you refuse all modern medicine because you should be listening to nature's plan for your body? I bloody well hope not, because that's dumb when modern medicine exists.

There are all sorts of dumb reasons why people are infertile - why would having a tube blocked by endometriosis or slow sperm make someone a bad parent? Why are you literally telling someone to their face, whose meducal problems you dont even understand, that you think they are just too defective to make a family?

Let's stay away from the eugenics, shall we? We could have a nuanced conversation about how genetic testing of embryos can potentially reduce or eliminate rare fatal diseases which kill children and have no hope of a life without significant suffering. And how most couples who have IVF successfully go on to have healthy chikdren who live normal lives. But no, Steve, stopping your mate with a mild varicocele from having children is not going to revolutionise the human race or fulfil some alternate divine fate.

Well, fertility is a first world problem, some people have real problems, we should be focusing on that instead.

Actually, it's a problem for millions of peole, around the world. The IVF industry is huge in certain parts of the Global south, for example India.

People think it's a white rich people problem because most of the people who can  afford to undergo fertility treatment privately or adopt...are the wealthy. But it's always been a problem - that affects people across cultures, socioeconomic groups and sexualities. And infertility has often been accompanied with shame and ostracisation. Stigmatising fertility care hurts everyone. Especially the poor.

Many LGBTQ couples need fertility care - whether because their gender affirming surgery or HRT or health complicates things, or they and their partner's combination of gametes makes things tricky. Making fertility care less taboo and more accessible helps them too. The conversation very often side tracks and ignores them but their struggle is valid too.

You people only want kids because they are brainwashed by the patriarchy. Infertility wouldn't be an issue if women were emancipated and not brainwashed by the patriarchy.

Look, I've been feminist in online spaces since before some of you were born. I'm not unaware of the patriarchy and how it colours our choices.

But we have to stop infantilising women abd removing their agency. I know single women and lesbians who have spent decades working through their issues with the patriarchy...who still want kids and are dealing with fertility treatment. Sure, we will never be entirely free from the many ways society affects us. But that doesn't mean we're all blindly falling into motherhood.

You don't want kids, that's great. But it doesn't mean that every single woman choosing to have them is brainwashed and unable to understand what she is getting into - and it's pretty misogynistic to frame it that way.

Nobody should be having kids because the economy/environment/etc

OK there's a conversation to be had about cutting our carbon footprint and being aware of how our choices affect others and the planet. We should all be trying to live more sustainably - I say as I wear thrifted clothes whilst typing this on the train.

But... are you saying that to able bodied people having kids? Are you sacrificing everything that you want for the cause? Or is the easiest thing to give up the thing that someone else wants? I'm all for encouraging everyone to be mindful of the planet but we shouldn't be restricting the rights of people with a disability to make that happen.

We make choices for ourselves, not for other people.

Why not adopt or foster? Adopt don't shop!

Well this is a whole post in itself...but basically, please assume that anyone who is trying for kids for a while... has at least considered adoption. Please tryst people to choose the right option for them and their family.

Children are not puppies, and the massive adoption industry isn't always ethical or safe, can be hugely expensive (often moreso than IVF in some places!), and also doesn't actually guarantee that they get to have a child at the end of it.

There can be a lot of trauma and complicated feelings for the adopted child and their birth family and many kids need very specialised support that not every potential adoptive parent can provide.

There are also far more infertile couples than kids who need adoption - so not every individualor couple could adopt. Many kids just need temporary fostering with the aim of placing them back with their family, which is important but very different.

I intend to flesh out this argument more in a separate post but IMO adoption should ideally be rare - because birth parents should have free access to contraception, abortion and be empowered and supported to look after and raise their kids within their communities if they want them. Adoption should serve the needs of the child, not the potential parents. And certainly not the agencies.

If you truly believe there are millions of kids out there needing a home, why aren't you adopting? Why aren't you clamouring for every fertile couples to adopt? Because on some level society still that's these kids as a consolation prize. And because many of the people judging infertile couples for having IVF over adoption aren't all that invested in actially learning about these kids or helping them.

Infertile people aren't solely responsible for solving complex societal problems on their own. This is something that we as a whole society need to address.

[pro-birth]

I have a weird relationship with the age-related infertility discussions. Does aging affect fertility? Absolutely. But are you doomed to never or not likely get pregnant if you "wait too long"...? That's where the conversation gets complicated, but no one seems to understand why it's complicated, let alone admit that it's not ever simple.

You see, it can take 7 or more years for a woman with endo, PCOS, etc to get diagnosed and properly treated for it. This means that her teen and young adult years are spent festering her undiagnosed complications until she reaches her 30s or so, and not only has perimenopuase to worry about, but her untreated disease(s) also. These compounding factors, obviously, makes it hard to get and stay pregnant.

And that doesn't even get into how terrible treatment is! Even when endo/PCOS/etc ARE diagnosed early on, they are --- surprise! --- given HORMONAL BIRTH CONTROL to "treat" it. At best, you get mild BC side effects while the condition never gets better, and you still struggle later on. At worst, you have someone with: severe nutritional deficiencies, wrecked gut and mental health, and other health risks that make pregnancy difficult to achieve down the road (or increase maternal health risks even if she does get pregnant).

Is age a factor? Yes. But assuming the woman is healthy and properly taken care of, it's a factor that shouldn't raise alarms. It may take longer for her to get pregnant, but a woman in her 30s and even 40s can achieve a full term pregnancy with the right support and knowledge. After all, women in the past traditionally had their last child in their EARLY FORTIES.

The issue is that everyone looks at age and nothing else. They don't question why it takes so long for female reproductive diseases to get treated and addressed. They don't question why fertility awareness is continually suppressed by the medical establishment. They don't question why women struggle to be taken seriously by their care provider.

I guess for them, it's easier to gaslight and shame women than to address the system that allows infertility to fester to begin with.