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cb97breathing · 7 months

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Pairing: Han Jisung x Afab! Plus Sized Reader

Theme: Fluff, smut, breeding kink, rough sex, creampie, oral sex (f receiving), squirting. 18+ NO MINORS.

Word Count: 2.1K

A/N: Please do not repost or translate my work!

Having kids was never something you or Jisung talked about, even as newlyweds. But god seeing him today playing around with Chan’s son made something change in you. Seeing how amazing how gentle he was, how playful and caring. All you could think about was how amazing of a father he would be. You stared at him as he chased his little nephew around pretending to be a monster while Changbin pretended to be a knight and help slay him. You wondered if there was ever going to be a chance for you and him. Suddenly the smile disappeared from your face and you looked away.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Chan asked softly as he sat beside you in the kitchen, making you jump slightly. You bit your lip and looked over to Jisung.

“I found out that I have pcos, recently.” You said quietly. Chan looked over to Jisung holding his son and spinning him around then back at you and it clicked almost instantly. He reached over to grab your hand gently and squeezed it. “He knows, I couldn’t keep it from him. It’s more common now than it used to be. — But because of that, it will be hard getting pregnant, if at all.” You looked at him nervously. “For all I know I could be barren.”

“If you think that could stop Jisung from loving you, I hope you know it wouldn’t.” He said quietly. “Jisung would move mountains just to be by your side. – And hey there’s still a chance you can.”

“I want to try.” You said quietly. “I want a family with him. But I’m scared.”

“You should tell him.” Chan said softly.

“I’m going to. I just..I’m..” He pulled you into a side hug.

“It’s gonna be okay.” He whispered softly as he rubbed your back. "It's not going to go bad as you think it is. I promise you that."

Later on that night Jisung could tell something was wrong. You were quieter than normal, and kept zoning out. When you came home he pulled you close from behind and wrapped his arms around your waste. He nuzzled his face in your neck and kissed it softly.

“What’s wrong, doll?” He asked softly as he held you close. “What’s on your mind? You were so distant today.” You felt guilty for making him worry and melted into him as he held you.

“I was just thinking about something that’s all.” You whispered quietly. Your fingers gently ran up his arm that was wrapped around your stomach as your heart pounded from nerves. Should you listen to what Chan said? Should you tell him now? Your thoughts went back to earlier in the day with Jisung and his nephew and you couldn’t help but feel the wanting grow even stronger within you.

“What is it? What are you thinking?” He asked softly. You slowly turned around in his arms and looked up into his eyes nervously.

“J-Ji..” You whispered softly. He stared at you gently as he ran his fingers through your hair. “I want to try.” You whispered, his fingers stopped and he looked deep into your eyes. “I want to have a baby, I.. I want to have a family with you.” You let out a shaky breath and looked down at your feet. “I k-know it’s gonna be difficult, but after seeing you today I just–” You were cut off as Jisung tilted your head up to kiss you deeply. You melted into him instantly, just like always. His kisses were always addicting, they put you under a spell, making you want more, craving his lips the way you needed oxygen to survive.

“I love you.” He whispered into your lips. “If you want to try, so do I.”

“A-are you sure? I don’t want to disappoint you. What if, what if I… what if I never.” Jisung caressed your cheek making you stop mid sentence.

“Then we can look at other options, we could adopt, find a surrogate. Whatever you want to do, I am here and I will support you. My love, you could never disappoint me. This isn’t something you can control and I would never ever think badly of you for it. I married you for you, not anything else. I love you so much. You’re my universe. That will never change.” He pressed his lips to your forehead and held you tightly. His words made all your nerves disappear in seconds. You couldn’t help but smile at him as he bit his lip.

“—- I won’t deny I’ve thought about it. You walking around, glowing, stomach swollen with our little one growing inside.” He pulled you closer and nipped your lips. “Just the thought of it makes me want to press you against the wall and take you right here.” You shook at his words as he stared into your eyes hungrily. You could feel your core grow wet between your legs, dripping at the thought.

“Then why don’t you?” You whispered softly. He pressed his body to yours and quickly pinned you against the wall. He pressed his lips to yours hungrily and pushed up your skirt quickly and ripped your panties off. You gasped as you felt him wrap one of your legs around his waist as he nipped at your lips. You whimpered as you heard him undo his pants and push them down quickly. You felt his tip brush against your wet folds and shuddered.

“So drenched already, you want this bad don’t you, doll? You want me to stuff you full of my cum and knock you up?” He growled softly as he teased you with his tip. “Your body is screaming for it. Leaking so much on me.”

“Yes.” You whined loudly. “Please Ji.” You rocked your hips and he groaned in response. He buried his face in your neck and nipped at your skin as he pushed deep inside you. His curved cock hitting spots that made you see stars already. You both whimpered loudly as he bottomed out in you. You trembled and tangled your fingers in his hair. “Love you.” You mewled out.

“Love so much more darling.” He whispered into your skin. “Can’t get enough of you.” He rocked into you slow but hard, each thrust making you cry out and arch off the wall. “My beautiful girl.” Your heart flipped at that and you pulled his head up to kiss him passionately. He kissed back desperately as his thrusts began to pick up pace. He picked up your other leg so both were wrapped around him.

The sounds of skin slapping against skin along with both of your moans of delight filled the apartment and no doubt left no imagination for your neighbors. Not that either of you cared, if anything this was revenge for the couple next to you who went at it for hours last week. You were definitely louder than they were. But you couldn’t help it. Not when his cock was hitting that sweet spot deep inside of you repeatedly. Your legs were shaking as you felt yourself getting close to your peak. You clung to him for dear life as he felt you clench around him.

“That’s it love, let go for me.” He whispered. His hips started to snap at a rapid pace making you scream out and your eyes roll back. You arched off the wall and mewled loudly as he whined into your neck. “Yes yes yes, oh fuck baby keep clenching like that. Wanna fill you with my cum, want your beautiful pussy to milk me of every last drop baby.” You couldn’t hold it in any longer and sobbed as you finally reached your orgasm. Jisung followed seconds after as he pounded into you three times as he spilled into you. He held you tightly as you shook in his arms, peppering kisses all over your neck and face. “You alright baby?” He whispered softly.

“More than alright.” You breathed out as you pressed your forehead to his. “Think we scarred the people in 2b?” He chucked as you giggled to yourself.

“Oh, by the time I’m through with you tonight. They won’t be able to look us in the eye ever again.” You blushed deeply at his words and bit your lip. “Don’t do that love or we will never make it to the bedroom.” He warned softly before pressing his lips to yours.

“The couch is just as good.” You whispered softly. You could feel is cock twitch inside you. “Or the kitchen counter.” He growled in response. “Maybe even the kitchen table..”

“Fuck y/n..” He whispered softly and rocked into you, making you shudder. “Look what you do to me.” You whimpered at the feeling and nipped at his lips.

“Need more cum, Ji. Wanna have your baby please.” You begged softly. He stepped out of his pants and carried you to the couch. He laid you down and pulled out of you gently making you whine at him. He smirked at you and spread your legs wide.

“Wanna make you feel good first.” He whispered. He dove into your core and licked it clean, his tongue swirled around your clit making you shake and sob. You were sensitive and if there's one thing Jisung loved doing, it was making you cum until you begged him to stop. You tangled your fingers in his hair as he devoured your core like a man starved. Your hips rocked against his mouth in desperation making him shudder and rock into the couch in need.

You choked on air when you felt two fingers enter you and curl, finding your spot in seconds. He knew your body inside out, and you knew he was going to have you in shambles by the end of the night. He began to thrust his fingers into you quickly as he sucked on your clit, you couldn't even think. All you could do was writhe and jolt as he made a mess of you. His name left your lips in a desperate plea. You didn’t even have a chance to warn him as your orgasm hit you hard, your juices spilled onto his chin as he groaned loudly. He licked it all up and grinned up at you.

“Can’t get enough of your pussy, tastes like heaven.” He whispered. He kissed up your stomach and pushed up your shirt exposing your breasts, you took your shirt off quickly and threw it to the floor as he licked at your nipple. “So fucking stunning, my beautiful thick girl. All your curves drive me so insane. I’m so fucking lucky to have you as my wife.” He ripped off his shirt and you whimpered at the sight of his chest, your hands running up his abs gently.

“You’re the perfect one, you’re so beautiful Jisung.” You whispered. He laid flush against you and kissed you feverishly as his hands ran up your thighs, he pushed them up, positioning them high and eased into you slowly. You gasped into his lips as his cock filled you again, the angle bringing new waves of pleasure to you.

“Gonna breed you, gonna make you nice and swollen with our baby inside you.” He growled out, his lips brushed against yours as he snapped into you roughly, making you cry out with each thrust. Your eyes’ never left each other, as he pushed deeper and deeper into you. Soon you where whaling as he thrusted violently into you. Your body shook violently as you clung to his forearms. You couldn’t speak, you couldn’t think, your mind was a fog. “Look at you, so cock drunk and gone. My beautiful doll.” He cooed as he pressed his lips to yours. You shrieked as his pace picked up, at almost an inhuman speed. “Gonna ruin you, gonna fill you up over and over.” Your eyes rolled back and you clenched around him making him cry out in delight. He watched as your legs shook violently as your juices spilled all over him once again. The look on your face bringing him to his climax as he shoved his cock as deep as possible into you, spilling his seed inside once more.

You whimpered as you felt the warm creamy liquid spill out of you as he pulled out. He caressed your cheek and looked at you softly.

“You did so well love, come back to me.” He whispered softly as he pressed his lips to your head.

“J-Jisung.” You whimpered. He ran his fingers through your hair and held you close.

“I’m here doll.” He whispered softly. “I love you so much.”

“Love you.” You breathed out.

“Let’s get you cleaned up and in bed. You’re not gonna be doing much walking tomorrow.” He teased softly, earning a little giggle from you as you slowly came back to reality. “There she is. Welcome back.”

“You made me squirt twice.” You whimpered. He chuckled and buried his face in your neck.

“And I’ll do it again.” He grinned. "But for now let's get you in a nice hot bath hmm?"

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norrisleclercf1 · 1 year

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It’s Too Early

Pairing: Charles x Pregnant!Reader

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Tough pregnancy, premature birth, PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), IVF mentioned, angst, fluff at the end

Synopsis: Being pregnant hasn’t been easy, especially when Charles is away for the season and can’t be with you 24/7 like he wants to be. So what happens when he finds out you went into labor from a reporter? Chaos, utter chaos

A/N: Wrote this morning and I picked PCOS because that's something I suffer with all the time, and felt the need to write a fic about now, everyone's experience with PCOS and the topics discussed in this are different, I did research and put my own hardships and feelings in this, I hope everyone reads with an open mind and enjoys this but also Dad!Charles who could give up Dad!Charles

Charles would kill for you; he really would. And right now, he wanted nothing more than to kill the FIA, who would refuse to let him sit out this season to be with you, his pregnant wife.

Finding out you were pregnant was the happiest day of his life, but soon it turned...not a nightmare, but a living hell. You were classified as a high-risk pregnancy due to polycystic ovarian syndrome, something you let Charles know when you first started dating.

He was there through the painful periods, the cramps that left you defenseless and laying in bed all day, to the doctor visits and the mood swings. Through it all, he was still with you and loved you more and more each day.

When you both married and settled down a bit more, the conversation of becoming pregnant came up. Charles knew the risks and had done research before bringing it up with you; he even explored other ways of having children. But you told him you wanted to try naturally and go from there before discussing different ways and seeing what happens.

After 3 years of trying and doing everything, even trying IVF, that damn stick showed that fucking plus sign. You sat in the bathroom for hours just staring at the positive test, and that's precisely how Charles found you when he came home. On the bathroom floor, staring at the test.

He can still feel the tile on his skin as he hugs and kisses you, calming your fears away from the worst thoughts in your head.

It hasn't been an easy pregnancy, from cramps to horrible morning sickness, to the doctors worried you might give birth way too early, even being put on bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy due to worries of preeclampsia. Charles fought hard with the FIA, saying he needed to be with you, but they refused to listen and told him he needed to race. You talked him off the ledge as he called to quit and stay home.

"Charles stop; this is ridiculous. You love racing; you aren't quitting because of me." You groaned, going in circles with your mess of a husband.

"No! What's ridiculous is that the FIA won't even see why my wife has a high-risk pregnancy and that I'm needed home, not driving in goddamn circles!" He snaps, slamming his phone down and pulling his hair.

"Char, breath." You whisper from the bed, in agony, simply because you can't get up and comfort your husband.

Charles, almost sensing your dilemma moves from the end of the bed to laying down next to you, placing his head on your chest, careful of your swollen breasts, knowing how much they've been hurting lately. No words are said as fingers run through his hair to calm him down and stop him from making a huge mistake.

"Charles, I'll have your mother here with me. Me and the baby are going to be okay. Listen, if anything changes, I will call you immediately. You can't miss this; you have a real chance this year and must show the world that Charles Leclerc will be a World Champion." Your words convince him as he lets off that familiar defeated sigh of his, making your smile grow at this.

"Immediately. Do you understand? I don't care if it's stupid like your back itches you call me." He bargains, making you laugh and nod in agreement.

Pascale has been staying with you for only a month, and you finally reached the safe zone, where if you did go into labor, it wouldn't be so dangerous for you or the baby. It was race day, and Charles was in Silverstone, needing to finish P2 or higher to challenge Max for the title.

It was a typical day as Pascale fixed you a light snack as you weren't feeling well, your lower back was hurting, and it felt like your pelvis had its own heartbeat. You didn't think much of it as it was a hot day in Monte Carlo, and you had read in books that it was customary to feel this, so you didn't say anything to Pascale to not worry her. The race was halfway through when the first real cramp startled you to the point you dropped your cup; thankfully, it was rubber, so it didn't break.

"Y/n? Honey, what's wrong?" Pascale was right there in an instant picking up the cup, looking over you.

"Just...a cramp, it's nothing." You mummer rubbing your stomach but flinch from how much it hurts to touch it.

"Y/n, when did this start?" Pascale asks calmly, knowing it was wise to keep you calm and not start to freak out because you might be in early labor.

"Last night, but it's picked up this morning. It's nothing, Pascale, honestly, just the baby moving." You try to reason, not wanting to jump straight to labor.

"Y/n, I'm calling for an ambulance, okay? I think you might be in early labor, and with you being on bed rest, they need to help me, alright." She mummers pushing your hair back, trying everything to keep you calm.

"Okay, okay." You repeat as the cramp passes, and you hear her on the phone telling them everything as you force yourself to pay attention to the race and not to the growing pit in your stomach that you might be in labor.

They get here fast as you breathe through another cramp. Tears start to flutter down your cheeks, the realization of you possibly in labor while Charles isn't here, but in the UK. They ask you question after question and share a look, a look that sets you off.

"No! No! I'm not in labor, okay? I'm just having some cramps, which is normal; I have PCOS; okay, nope, I'm not." You argue as the medics alert the hospital to your condition.

"Mrs. Leclerc, I understand that you are only 29 weeks and you're scared, but right now, you are in early labor, and we need to get you to the hospital as soon as we can, okay?" The friendly medic tries to reason with you, but you refuse to see reason.

"I'm sorry, but no. Charles isn't here; he should be here; I can't do this alone. I'm sorry, but I'm not going anywhere." You argue as Pascale packs your bags and looks over at you.

"Y/n, I know you are scared, but Charles isn't here right now, but he will be okay. I'll call him when the race is over and let him know immediately what's going on. But, please, if you wait, it'll be worse for you and the baby." She can reason with you, finally getting you to the hospital as you try hard to stay calm and not make things worse.

But of course, Pascale could never make the phone call as everyone was too busy keeping you calm.

Charles was on top of the world. He had won Silverstone and was only 4 points behind Max now. Sticky with champagne, he checks his phone, looking for the standard text from you, but not seeing a text from you, he hits dial, calling you. But, you don't pick up, making him call you again, yet again, you don't pick up.

He reasons you must be asleep, knowing you had been super tired lately, and his mother said everything was fine. You're eating normally and just sleeping or reading. He moves and takes a picture of the trophy, telling you he won it for you and the baby and he couldn't wait to get back home to you both. Sadly, he's pulled away from his phone to go do media even though he wants to head to the airport and go home, but he needs to do this first.

Only 4 more hours before heading to the plane, then another 5 to 6 hours before he's back home to you.

He makes it through all 5 interviews before coming to the last one, Pierre on his right and Carlos on his left as they all give their final interviews.

"Charles, amazing race. I have to say that it was fabulous to see you win this and to have your teammate and your childhood best friend up there. It must've been something." The reporter gushes, making Charles smile at how genuine the reporter is.

"Yes, um, having Carlos and Pierre be there next to me was something. I mean, the Red Bulls put up one hell of a fight, but we know not to get too comfortable and that we really need to start pushing it more and more each day so we can close the gap and pull in front of them." Charles smiles.

"Yes, this must be a wonderful day with you; with what winning Silverstone and your wife going into labor, you must be just on top of the world." Charles freezes, hearing the words come out of the reporter's mouth and let's put a nervous laugh.

"I'm sorry? My wife isn't in labor," he argues, starting to fidget and lick his lips.

''Really? Reports are that she went into labor at the start of lap 23 and has been at the hospital, your mother." Having cut the camera, realizing that Charles honestly had no idea.

"Nope, she's not, okay, she's not in labor. She would've called." he snaps, hands fumbling for his phone, trying to call you again. This time, it goes to voicemail, sending his heart plummeting to his feet.

"Alright, that's enough for today." Pierre voices and grabs Charles leading him away from prying eyes as he keeps calling you repeatedly.

"Charles. Charles, stop!" Pierre yells, snatching the phone away as his friend cries. Fear takes over Charles as he starts to imagine the worst. What if something was seriously wrong, and you went into early labor. You're only 29 weeks. That's 6 months. Yes, the baby would be okay, but would you?

"Come on, let's go to the hotel. Get your stuff, and you and I will fly out and call your mom. Okay, let's go." Pierre reasons, dragging his friend away and to the cars trying to calm down Charles.

'Pierre calls Pascale and puts her on the speaker; thankfully, the woman picks up after 3 rings.

"Why the fuck didn't you call me the moment she went into labor? I wouldn't give a damn if I was still in the car. Why didn't you call!" Charles rips out before Pascale can say anything, and Pierre groans, knowing that if the situation was different, the Ferrari driver's mother would bury his ass in the ground.

"Because Charles, I've been trying to keep her calm. She's freaking out because you're not here, and honestly, honey, I forgot, as I was trying to make sure your wife's blood pressure doesn't get worse; now, get here as fast as you can because she's almost fully dilated and she needs you Charles, and she needs you to be calm and strong for her because right now she's not." Pascale hangs up, leaving the car in a stiff eerie silence.

"Get me to the airport as fast as you can," Charles whispers, making Pierre nod to ensure he'd get there.

"I can't do this, Pascale; nope, I'm sorry, but I can't. It hurts too much, please, make it stop." you cry as your mother-in-law soothes you. She tells you Charles is on the way. But that did nothing to comfort you. It only made you more anxious about the fact that this would happen.

"Y/n, I know you're scared but Charles will be here soon, okay? But you can't stop pushing, okay? All these nurses and doctors are here to help you, ow let them." She urges as you scream out from another contraction.

"I want Charles." You sob, collapsing against the bed from exhaustion. This was too much for you, the pain, Charles, and everyone in the room; you can't do this.

"Baby!" A familiar voice cries out as the door swings open, and Charles runs in. His hair is messy, and he looks so bewildered you could kiss him, but all you can do is scream.

"WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!" Making Pascale and everyone else jump, Charles just smiles and pushes everyone out of the way to get to your side.

"I'm sorry, I was on a plane, and my phone wasn't working." And lies, not wanting to tell the truth of no one telling him but a reporter that you were in labor.

"You're lucky I'm giving birth right now or so; help me go-" Your words get cut off by another contraction, making you grab Charles's hand and squeeze it so hard he'd thought it'd break.

"Okay, Mrs. Leclerc, we need you to push." the doctor instructs while Pascale slips outside, startled to see half the grid in the hallway.

"Come on, let's give them some privacy." Pascale smiles, wrapping an arm around Pierre as she leads the boys down the hallway.

"I love you," Charles whispers, kissing your forehead, not caring for a minute you are drenched in sweat.

"I love you too, but we're adopting or surrogacy next time." You cry as you get one more contraction, everyone yelling at you to push, and soon your cries are mixed in with smaller ones.

"He's here. He's here." Charles repeats, kissing you all over and making sure you are okay. He wanted to check on his baby, but first, he needed to ensure you were alright.

"It's a boy? We had a little boy." You whimper, leaning into Charles's chest as you cry in relief that everything went as smoothly as possible.

"He's perfect, Y/n, all ten toes and fingers, and god, I love you so much." Charles mummers finally kissing you while the nurse cleans up your son.

"Here you go." the nurse smiles, handing you your son, who cries his little lungs out but soon stops when he's placed on your chest.

"He'll need to go to NICU for just a night so we can go over everything and make sure there are no complications, but after that, he can come down here and stay with you, Momma." the nurse smiles, going back to help make sure your vitals and everything else was good.

'Charles, and you can't help but stare at your little boy while you start to feel that ache and tiredness settle in, but Charles holds you both, his entire world in his arms.

"We need a name," Charles whispers, making you hum in agreement.

"I've got the perfect one. Also, tell Pierre I say thank you for getting you here."

Charles blinks down at you, confused, but you just giggle.

"I can smell his cologne." Making Charles laugh right along with you.

You fell asleep after picking the name, and the nurses follow Charles to the waiting room where everyone is, Pascale the first to see her son.

"Everyone," Charles starts making the others turn their heads, Isa and Carmen gushing at the tiny little baby in Charles's arms.

"Meet Pierre Hervé Jules Leclerc." Charles announces, making everyone laugh as Pierre stands there stunned, looking at his best friend holding his son.

"Really?" Pierre asks, making Charles nod. "Of course, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have gotten here in one piece. Also, Y/n says thank you." Charles smiles but adds, "she could smell your cologne on my clothes." Making everyone laugh at this.

"Can I hold him?" Pascale asks, but Charles shakes his head no.

"Sorry, but he won't be held by anyone but us and the staff for right now; he's got to go to the NICU overnight, and frankly, I want Y/n to get a say who holds him first after us, Mother." Charles smiles, but Pascale just beams, seeing Charles transform before her.

"Say goodbye to all your uncles and aunts, Pierre," Charles whispers, laying him in the trolly as the nurse reassures him that he'll be fine and he can come up and visit if he'd like.

Everyone watches as the Ferrari driver just smiles at his boy and leans down, whispering something to the baby before pulling away and watching the nurses take him a floor up.

"What did you say?" Pierre asks his friend.

"We'd always love and protect him, and he's only allowed to root for Ferrari." He laughs, making Pascale slap her son on the arm, everyone joining in on the laughter, a memory no one would forget.

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cripp-tid · 11 months

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if you can't have kids for medical reasons, i love you. a lot of people emphasize the joy of children, talk about how they changed their life, etc., and that's just not possible for some of us.

so. shoutout to:

• people who can "technically" have children but can't risk the financial stress due to being already disabled/chronically ill

• people who can't get off their medication long enough to conceive

• people with uteruses who have endometriosis or PCOS

• people who can get pregnant, but have a connective tissue disorder which makes them unable to handle the progesterone during pregnancy since it causes flares (hi, it's me)

• intersex conditions that makes you infertile

• anyone who has a terminal illness

• people who've had medically necessary surgeries which caused infertility

• people with genetic conditions they don't want to pass on (me again)

• those who require IVF that's just not in the cards for whatever reason

• and many, many others

• feel free to add on

you're not broken, you have a reason for being like this. i know it's hard. i love you. it's going to be ok. 💙

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heavyhitterheaux · 6 months

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Ghost Part 1

AN: everyone ignore the fact that it took me almost a year to finish this lol

Synopsis: You're an OnlyFans model that gets pregnant by none other than Jack Harlow, who runs at the first sign of taking responsibility for his actions. But soon enough, his responsibilities get to be too much for him to ignore

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

'I'm a good girl'

At least that’s what you told yourself

But good girls didn't go to school by day and were a cam girl at night.

However, you were

It was only for a little while

Just until you finished school

You needed a way to pay for it somehow

Besides the money was good and it kept a roof over your head

You admit that this wasn't your first choice in a career path obviously, but you had to do what you had to do in order to survive.

You had been in foster care since you were 9 because your parents and brother passed away in a car accident while you were the lone survivor

Your grandparents were older and they couldn't take care of you so that's when you went into the system

Your aunt which was your mother's sister and your mother didn't get along and she said that there was no way in hell that she would take you and that you were someone else’s problem

I mean she did have five kids of her own to take care of, but to be that cold hearted to a nine year old?

You admit that you had survivor's guilt and would do anything to have all three of them here with you. But you knew that they would have wanted for you to have the best life that you could possibly have and that you were going to make sure of it.

But if they were here, then maybe just maybe, your current life would be different.

You had dreams of becoming a preschool teacher since you were diagnosed at 15 with PCOS and you were told that your chances of getting pregnant were slim to none. It definitely hurt because since you didn’t have any immediate family left, that you wanted to have as many as you could.

But you figured if you couldn’t have any of your own that you would teach them instead. If you could plant little seeds into their minds that will be able to set them up for greatness then you were all for it.

You put on your newest lingerie set that was gifted to you by one if not your favorite supporter you would say who went by the name Mr.Missionary and was setting up your camera in order to get the perfect view.

One thing about you is that you never showed your face

Only thing they could see was from the neck down

You did that on purpose because the last thing you wanted was for someone to know what you looked like.

It wasn't the fact that you were embarrassed of what you did, but you wanted to remain as anonymous as possible so for the future, your career wouldn't be impacted. You could only imagine what would happen if someone found out what you had done in college when you were teaching their small children. It probably wouldn’t be good and the next thing that would probably happen is you being out of a job.

You saw time and time again that happening to different people and that's one thing you did not want to deal with.

But, back to Mr. Missionary

He was a sweet talker and knew exactly what to say.

It all started with a message from him asking you if you were comfortable showing your face to him.

Since he had been supportive of you since day one, you figured why not. But also told him not to share any of the photos that you sent him to anyone else.

So your jaw definitely dropped when you answered the incoming facetime call and was staring back at no one other than Jack Harlow.

The two of you would talk every week and you mentioned one time how you had never been off the east coast before and would love to go. Only Fans did pay well now that you had a lot of subscribers, but it hadn’t always been that way. However, you really only used the money for school and to make sure that you had a place to live.

The semester had just ended and you weren't taking any classes during the summer so Jack offered to fly you out to L.A. to spend a week with him while he was recording new songs and you quickly said yes.

This would happen periodically, him flying you out to different cities to meet him all summer long and soon you found yourself getting ready for the new semester to start.

You had about another year to go at Howard University in D.C. until you graduated with your degree in early childhood education while your friend Nadia was majoring in business administration.

The two of you met your freshman year and had been close ever since when you had to take a few prerequisite classes together.

She was from Louisville and was a big fan of Jack, but you didn't bother telling her what had happened between the two of you.

You signed an NDA anyway.

And since she had gone home for the summer, she had no reason for the thought to even cross her mind.

But when you just so happened to go to your OB/GYN appointment you had gotten a huge surprise.

You were pregnant and apparently had been for three months.

Your period was irregular and you would often go for months without getting one so you thought nothing of it.

The first thing you did when you got back to your apartment was call Nadia and couldn’t help but to blurt it out.

"I'M PREGNANT!"

"Well first of all hello to you too and WHAT?!”

"I can't get pregnant! At least that's what I was told. They told me that when I was fifteen!"

"Well apparently you can. How far along are you?"

"Three months apparently and I had absolutely no idea. I wasn’t craving anything, no morning sickness, no nothing. None of the usual symptoms."

"Oh so when the semester ended, those legs were open for business, huh?"

"NADIA! BE SERIOUS PLEASE." You said while pacing around your bedroom.

"Well, who's the father? Did you tell him?"

"Sooo, this is probably going to sound really bad." You muttered while pouring yourself something to drink.

You couldn’t see Nadia’s face, but you could just imagine how it looked.

"I mean, how bad? You're an adult who can do what you want."

"Ummm…. He’s one of my supporters for my cam show."

"Y/N!!!! IS THAT WHY YOU WERE FLYING EVERYWHERE THIS SUMMER!? YOU WENT TO SEE HIM DIDN’T YOU? DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT COULD HAVE BEEN?"

"Um, maybe and well, I didn’t die."

"What do you mean maybe?! It's either yes or no! And you didn’t die, but now you came back pregnant!”

"Uh, then yes."

"You need to tell him NOW. It’s his responsibility as much as it is yours."

"I will and then I'll call you back." You said while sighing.

You didn't have enough courage to call him, but you needed to. It was better to get it over with sooner rather than later.

You knew he was busy and decided to text him first.

You- Hey, call me when you get a chance

Jack- I will right before I go to sleep tonight. Hopefully I can get another private show 😉

You didn't even bother responding and just waited for your phone to ring while working on assignments you had to do for class instead.

Another thing you had to worry about now was graduating on time since you were now pregnant and would be due at the start of the last semester before you graduated.

It was around 11:52 pm when your phone finally rang indicating an incoming facetime call from Jack.

"Hey pretty girl. I'm sorry it took me so long to call you.”

"Hey. It's okay, I was just studying while I waited.” You quietly said and Jack was immediately eyeing you knowing that something was wrong.

"You okay?" Jack curiously asked while looking at your solemn expression.

"No, not exactly." You quietly responded while starting to fidget as you closed your textbook that was in front of you.

It was now or never.

"What's going on?"

You took a deep sigh before the words left your mouth. Might as well get it over with.

"I'm pregnant."

Jack immediately went quiet and pinched the bridge of his nose before he said anything.

"I thought you said that you couldn't get pregnant and I always wore protection every time just in case."

"I thought so too and obviously you didn't."

"How do you know it's mine?" You immediately rolled your eyes.

"Didn't I spend basically the entire summer with you?"

"Some of it, not all of it. I don't know what you were doing when you weren't with me." Your jaw had hit the floor. He had some nerve.

"Don't do that. Why would I lie?"

"I'm being honest. Don't get mad at me for telling the truth. And why would you lie? Because I’m a millionaire the last time I checked, that’s why. Sounds like you tried to trap me."

"Look, I just want them taken care of. AND EXCUSE ME? TRAP YOU? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?"

"I still don't see what that has to do with me and yes trap me, you heard me the first time."

"Seriously? How could you even say that? I have given you no reason to think that about me."

“Well people can surprise you, everyday. Until I get a paternity test, I'm not believing anything."

That was about three years ago and nothing has changed since then.

You were basically a single mother and Jack popped in occasionally when he wanted to.

Which wasn't often.

You were struggling living on your own with no support system in D.C. and Nadia had convinced you to move to Kentucky to be near her so she could help out as much as she could. Her business was finally taking off and she told you that you could find a teaching job at one of the elementary schools since they were hiring for preschool teachers.

When Jack found out that you had moved to Louisville he was not only convinced that you trapped him, but now you were stalking him too.

He had no idea that you were in this by yourself, literally. No help from family or anything.

You could count on one hand how many times Jack had seen Ace since birth and you came to the conclusion that you were probably going to be a single mother and stopped asking him for anything. The last time that he had talked to you was almost two months ago. During that three minute conversation he didn’t even ask how his son was and he only lived less than fifteen minutes away from you.

After the paternity test was done and Jack was proven to be the father, he had accidentally left the paper out on the table and no one other than his younger brother Clay found it. He had questioned Jack about it and because Clay was holding the obvious proof in his hands there was no possible way for him to back out of it. Clay then took it upon himself to reach out to you because he wanted to meet Ace. He met him when he was a month old and at that time Jack had only been to see him once. Because of how he acted, you knew early on not to put his last name on Ace’s birth certificate.

After moving to Louisville, you met two of Nadia’s close friends, Blaire and Liv. Blaire was a baker who had her own bakery and would have breakfast waiting for you every day for you and Ace before you dropped him off at daycare and went to the school to teach while Liv taught kindergarten at the same school where you were. All four of you had become extremely close, but none of them knew who Ace’s father was.

Because you signed an NDA, all you ever told them was that he really wasn’t a part of his life and that you were doing this all on your own and they accepted that as an explanation, but it was only a matter of time before they found out the truth. You knew that they would all look at him differently because they were such big fans of him. Plenty of times they had asked you to go to his concerts with him, but you steadily declined, but they never questioned why.

All Jack did was send money to help with daycare and that’s when he actually remembered to do it. You got a discount since it was actually in the same school as where you taught, but it was still expensive. Especially on the salary that you got.

It was currently almost four in the afternoon and Jack was supposed to pick Ace up to spend time with him and you were hoping that they would be able to spend more time together. You knew that his career was demanding and he was at the height of it, but you just wanted Ace to have a relationship with him. He told you that he would be coming around 2 and that he would take Ace to the Louisville basketball game later with the rest of PG and spend the weekend with him.

From what you knew, Urban was the only one who knew about Ace and was guessing that this would be his opportunity to tell them. You sighed as you looked at your baby waiting at the door with his little backpack on wanting to see the moment his dad was going to come through the door.

After a while, he just sat down and sighed which made your heart break.

“Mommy, daddy not coming is he?” He quietly asked you and all you did was sigh.

“We just have to wait and see, bub. Maybe daddy got busy and got caught up with doing something.” One thing that you were tired of doing was making excuses for Jack.

“Does daddy love me?” He looked up at you with tears in his eyes and you quickly sat down next to him and slid him into your lap.

It took everything in you not to cry right then and there, but immediately pulled out your phone to call him.

“Of course he does. Here, baby. Let’s call him to see where he is.”

You didn’t know if you were trying to convince Ace or convince yourself.

You put the phone to Ace’s ear and Jack actually picked up on the third ring which you were surprised by.

“Hello?”

“DADDY! Where you at? Still coming to get me?”

“Oh, hey little man. Um, something came up, but I promise to get you another day.”

“But you promised you were coming today. You said that last time.”

“I know, bubs but I’ve just been so busy.”

Not wanting for the conversation to go on any further, Ace handed the phone to you with tears in his eyes, threw off his backpack and ran down the hallway into his room.

“Ace!” You called after him, but he continued down the hallway.

“Are you…..? Are you serious right now?! You made him cry because all you do is fucking lie to him and to me!” You took a deep breath before letting him have it.

“Y/N, please don’t fucking start.” You heard him say before sighing and you could hear cheering going on in the background indicating that he was already at the game.

“Oh, I’m going to fucking start because he has been excited for this all week! Why would you bail on your son like that? You did the same shit last time. You begged me to come and see him and when I told you what time would work best, what did you do? Not even bother to show up. Either you want to be in his life or you don’t and you need to make a decision. Tired of my child constantly being disappointed in his father.”

“Look, I’ll talk to you later.” Jack said and then hung up without another word leaving you fuming from your conversation.

You simply got up while grabbing Ace’s backpack and made your way to his room. Once you opened the door, you found him laying down with his head resting on his hands just staring off into space.

“Ace….”

“Mommy, can we just go to the park?” He asked not even mentioning what Jack had done.

“Sure, baby. Whatever you want. I also think that it’s a perfect day for ice cream. What do you say?”

At the mention of ice cream, Ace immediately perked up and eagerly nodded his head.

“Can I get chocolate chip cookie dough?”

“Whatever my Ace wants, he gets.”

Upon hearing this, he immediately smiled and you were happy that you could take his mind off of what his father had promised him, at least for a little while.

Two weeks had passed and you were rushing to get both of you out of the door and to Blaire’s bakery for breakfast so that the two of you would at least have something on your stomach for the busy day ahead.

You had sent a text last night to Jack asking him to send you money for daycare for the month of October, but he never responded leaving you frustrated because you literally now only had 24 hours to come up with the money otherwise you weren’t quite sure what you were going to do.

Your Only Fans was still active, but that was a last resort.

While driving to the bakery, Ace fell asleep in the backseat when you decided to call him.

“Yes, Y/N? What now? I’m busy.”

“Good morning to you too. Did you get my text last night?” You asked after rolling your eyes at how he greeted you.

“Didn’t I just give you money for daycare? Why do you need more already?”

“You see, Jackman….”

“Don’t call me that.”

“That’s your name isn’t it? Given to you by your parents?”

“Look, what do you want? I’m in the studio.”

“No need to be rude. I need more money for daycare. I have to pay it every month.”

“Why the fuck is it so expensive? Got damn a round trip to L.A. is cheaper.”

“I don’t know, but I already get a discount and I have to pay it by tomorrow so can you just send it to me?”

“1600 dollars?!? That’s the discounted price? You have got to be fucking kidding me. They act like you have six fucking kids. He’s one person.”

“Just… can you do it or not? I wouldn't ask you unless I absolutely had to.” You asked, hating that you even had to do so.

“Yeah, I’ll send it and you better be using it for daycare and not something else. Because if I find out you did, you better not ask me for it again. Anything else you want to bother me about?”

“Ace is in the car. Do you want to say good morning to him?”

“Not really. I’ll call him later. Bye.”

“I-....”

Jack hung up without another word and all you did was shake your head at him and how your three year old is more well mannered than he is.

Once you pulled up to the bakery, Blaire met you outside on the curb and immediately ran to your window with a bag of food as well as two drinks. A hot chocolate for Ace and her specially made coffee for you. You swore that she put jet fuel in it and as many times as you asked her for the recipe, she never told you.

It literally allowed for you to stay energized throughout the day and didn't even want to know how much caffeine was in it.

She handed you yours, while she opened Ace’s door and handed him his.

“Thank you, Auntie Blaire.” He quietly said before taking it and you looked back at him to see that he was pouting and Blaire immediately asked him what was wrong before you could.

“Daddy didn’t say good morning to me when he talked to mommy.”

Oh.

So he was awake.

“I’m just sure he was really busy. You can try calling him later once you get home, yeah?” She said to try and get a smile at him, but all he did was nod his head.

So much for getting a good start to the day.

Ace had been upset the entire time he was in daycare even when you went to go and check on him and brought a cookie as a peace offering which he wasn't excited by and thought that making his latest favorite dinner might take his mind off of it.

You never in a million years thought that Ace would love to help you cook, but here you were. He told you that he wanted to be a chef when he grew up, so you obviously set him up with everything that he might need.

He told you on the way home that he wanted to make chicken parm with noodles so you stopped by the store to grab the ingredients.

Ace was wearing his apron that you had gotten him as a gift for his birthday which said Chef Ace on it and standing on his step stool to add salt to the boiling water for the noodles while you were finishing cutting up the chicken and about to start making the breading for it.

He didn't bring up for the rest of the day what had happened with Jack earlier, but you had a feeling that it was coming and more than likely it would be around bedtime. But for now, you were simply going to focus on spending time with your little one.

“Ace, do you want to grab the Italian seasoning for mommy to use?”

“Yes!”

He promptly moved his step stool to be in front of the spice cabinet and climbed up when there was a knock on the door.

Ace had handed it to you and stepped down before going to get a sip of juice out of his sippy cup.

“Be right back, bubs. Remember don't touch anything without mommy being in here with you. We don't need you getting hurt.”

“Okay, promise.” He quickly answered before taking another swig of his juice as you went to answer the door to come face to face with Nadia, Blaire, and Liv.

“Heyyy. Blaire told us baby daddy troubles this morning sooooo…. We brought wine and lemon cake that Blaire made for Ace.” Nadia said as she held up the wine and Liv held up the cake and all three of them were smiling back at you.

“You guys didn't….”

“Shut up and let us in. Yes we did and what is our little chef making tonight?” Liv asked as you moved to the side and let them in while closing the door behind you.

“Chicken parm and salad and Blaire’s cake can be added to that now.”

“HI AUNTIES!” You heard Ace as he ran full speed towards the four of you.

“Auntie’s baby!” Nadia exclaimed as she opened her arms to engulf him into a hug.

“Food should be about done in another thirty minutes.”

“Well until then, we have the wine to keep us occupied.”

After gushing over how good the meal was along with Blaire’s lemon cake, Nadia pulled out her phone and shoved it towards you.

“What am I looking at?” You asked her as Ace had climbed into your lap.

“Jack Harlow and his No Place Like Home concert. I thought I would get tickets for all of us to go.”

Ace then peered at her phone and got a confused look on his face.

“Oh, that's daddy!”

Silence.

Looks of shock.

Looks of disbelief.

Nadia, Liv, and Blaire knew how intelligent Ace was so they didn't think that this would be something that he would lie about all while trying to wrap their heads around it.

When no one said anything, Ace turned to look at you.

“Are we going to call him before I go to sleep?”

“Um, sure bubs. We’ll call him. Do you want to go and pick out a book for us to read tonight before we do?”

He eagerly nodded before hopping down off your lap and heading to his bookshelf in his bedroom.

All you did was sigh and wait for the interrogation to begin.

Nadia was first.

“Y/N!!!!! I…. WHAT!?”

“Do not say anything because the last thing I need is him finding out that other people know.”

“He is a literal ASSHOLE to you and Ace. The mother of his son and his actual son. All the shit that you’ve told us he’s done!?! Or hasn't done for that matter.” Liv exclaimed as she poured herself another glass of wine.

“So that's who was flying you out that summer?”

You simply nodded.

“Y/N…..”

“Look, I don't need the looks of pity. I’m fine, my son is fine and that's all that matters. We’re going to be okay with or without him.”

Blaire who had been quiet the entire time simply shook her head.

“I can always call my brothers to jump him.”

“NO, BLAIRE!”

“The offer still stands. Just say the word.” She replied while shrugging.

“I know how you three love his music so get the tickets and have fun. Me and Ace will be okay.”

“No. One band, one sound bitch. If you have beef with Jack Harlow, so do we.” Nadia said while crossing her arms.

“Come to think of it… Ace does look an awful lot like him.”

“All I can do every day when we go out is pray that no one notices. I have to protect him and it’s sad that I actually have to do it from his father.”

It was around 7 PM when you had finished giving Ace a bath and had finished reading the book that he picked out earlier to him when he asked to call Jack.

“Can we call daddy now?” He asked looking up at you hopeful and all you did was give him a small smile.

“Of course we can.”

You grabbed your phone and attempted to call Jack on facetime while handing it to Ace.

All it did was continuously ring and you saw the pout on Ace’s face become more pronounced.

“Maybe, he’s just busy, bubs.” You quietly said before you took your phone back and the look of disappointment across his face broke your heart.

“He’s always busy, mommy.”

“But, at least you get to spend the day with him tomorrow! That’s something to be excited about. Do you have any idea about what you want to do?”

Jack had begged you to come and get him tomorrow to make up for not taking him to the basketball game with him and as much as you felt that he was going to go back on his word, but you were willing to give him another chance. But the chances were slowly running out.

“No, I’m just sleepy.”

“Okay, let’s get tucked in so we can sleep.”

Once you had gotten Ace settled, you went into your room and logged onto your banking app to see that Jack in fact did send you the money to pay for daycare and you let out a sigh of relief that you didn’t realize that you had been holding.

Ten minutes later, you got a text from him.

Jack- I’ll come and get him tomorrow. Be there around nine.

Hopefully this was a way for him to redeem himself for not showing up the other day and prayed that he would follow through.

You were tired of seeing your child disappointed.

The next morning after getting Ace ready, Clay came to get him and you would say that you were surprised that it wasn’t Jack, but that would be a lie. Ace was still excited to see Clay, so the last thing you wanted to do was upset him. You got to have a full day to yourself which you hadn’t had in a while.

Your time was spent going to the mall, seeing a movie, and even going to your favorite restaurant by yourself.

You made sure to soak this all in because you didn’t know the next time that you would be able to get another opportunity to do this and spend your time and money on yourself.

It was around 5 PM when Clay dropped off Ace who you could tell was still on a sugar high since he was running around the apartment and not able to keep still for three minutes when you got on the topic of Clay’s brother since you knew that it was inevitable.

"Clay, I have given him chance after chance to do right by him and he literally disappoints me and him every time."

"I know and I'm…."

"No. Do not apologize for him. If he could have just seen his face when he promised to come and get him to go to the game with all of you and to have a cooking date and he didn't show. Like my baby was bawling with tears running down his face and asked me does daddy even love me? Clay my heart can't take too much more of this. This has been going on for way longer than it should have. My son is my entire world and he deserves a father in his life that wants to be consistent and be there for him. I don't think Jack will ever get there."

"So I guess I shouldn't tell you that he still hasn't told our parents about you or Ace?" Clay asked while scratching the back of his neck.

You then looked at Clay in disbelief as Ace came up on your left side and lifted his hands up to indicate he wanted to be picked up by you or his uncle and Clay quickly did.

"Your brother is just full of surprises isn't he? You're more of a father to him than he is."

"Reality hasn't hit him yet."

"It doesn't take three years. It's just crazy how you were the only one who welcomed him with open arms, but then again you had already saw the DNA results so you had no choice but to believe me. I guess Jack never thought in his wildest dreams he would sleep with a cam girl and end up with a kid."

Just then your phone went off indicating a text from the man of the hour.

Jack- Y/N, I know you're mad at me but I promise to get him next time.

You- Don't even worry about it. Once again your little brother is stepping up and doing what you should have done. So much that he actually called him dad the other day. Think about that.

You saw Jack would start texting and then stop indicating that he didn't have a good comeback for that one.

How could he?

It had been a quick slip up a few weeks ago by Ace, but Clay simply brushed it off and thought nothing of it. You remembered him saying to Ace, ‘Well we do look alike, don’t we?’ And he quickly agreed.

And just then your phone went off indicating Jack was calling you.

"What?" You asked as you rolled your eyes.

"I'll be outside in 20 minutes and I want to see my son."

Once you hung up, Clay turned to you and asked you what he said.

“He said that he wants to see him, but my thing is that if you really did want to see him then you would have gotten him earlier. The last thing he better do when he comes in here is make a scene.”

Twenty minutes didn’t even pass before you heard knocking on the front door and you immediately rolled your eyes before getting up to answer it.

Once you did, Jack was clearly annoyed and was looking right past you to see where Ace was.

“Where’s my son?”

“Oh, so now he’s your son? Are there certain days of the week that you claim him or?”

“Y/N, I’m not doing this with you right now, where is Ace?”

“He’s with your brother in the kitchen if you must know and you better not go in there and make him upset.”

“Now, why would I make him upset?”

“I don’t know, you tell me. Since all he knows you’re good for is disappointing him.”

Jack didn’t even bother to respond as he walked past you to come face to face with Clay playing with Ace.

Once Ace saw him, he quickly ran to hide behind Clay.

“Bubs, it’s me, daddy. No reason to be scared.”

All Ace did was peek out behind Clay’s leg who was trying to also tell him that it was okay.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t come and get you today, but I promise that I will next time.”

This led to Ace shaking his head no and holding onto Clay’s leg tighter.

“Ace, what’s the matter?” Jack asked seeing as Ace had never acted this way towards him before.

“Daddy, you forgot about me….. Again.”

“I… I didn’t forget. Daddy’s just been really busy, but I’m here now.”

“Maybe if you actually showed up when you were supposed to this wouldn’t be happening.” Clay snapped at Jack as Ace quickly ran to you and you picked him up as he hid in the crook of your neck.

“Clay, I already get it enough from Y/N, I don’t need to hear it from you too.”

“Well obviously you do, because hearing it from one person obviously isn’t enough! Now, why is your kid calling me daddy? Oh, right. Because his real dad actually ignores him.” Clay said while raising his voice at his older brother.

“I DON’T IGNORE MY SON!”

“WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU ACTUALLY SPENT TIME WITH HIM? I’VE SEEN HIM MORE TIMES SINCE HE’S BEEN ALIVE THAN YOU HAVE!”

At their heated exchange, Ace began to cry and you knew that you needed to put a stop to this immediately.

“Okay, you two, we’re done. Jack, get out.”

“If I leave, I’m taking Ace with me.”

“You are not taking MY son anywhere. Can’t you see how upset you made him? And I told you once you step foot in here not to upset him and you did the exact opposite. Just leave. You've done enough.”

Jack had let out a frustrated sigh as he was contemplating his next move. He stepped towards you, but was immediately blocked by Clay stepping in front of you.

“Just do what she asked you to do and leave.”

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joelsgreys · 1 year

Text

unconditional l a safe haven drabble

Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader

series masterlist

summary: After your first night together in the barn, Joel tells you he’s worried about the possibility of you getting pregnant; You tell him that he doesn’t have anything to worry about and it leads to a heartfelt conversation—and realization.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. talk of infertility, mention of pregnancy loss, reader admits Luke makes her feel insecure about her condition, hurt, comfort, soft Joel, dash of fluff sprinkled in at the end.

Word Count: 1.6k

a/n: this drabble centers around a sensitive subject, so please be sure to read all of the tags! i know back in chapter five, the subject of reader not being able to have kids was touched on but i still want to make sure I give a good, proper warning. as someone who struggles with reproductive health (PCOS girlie here) i know i can get down about things of this nature so again please proceed with caution if this is a subject that might be hard for you to read about.

This takes place between chapters six and seven.

You lean forward against the wooden, paddock fence with your folded arms resting gently on top of it.

Joel stands behind you, his chest pressed into your back—his arms encircled you, comfortably caging you between the fence and his body with both his hands planted firmly on the wood on either side of you. His chin rests on top of your head, and every so often you would feel him press a soft kiss into your hair or on the delicate spot on your neck, right behind your ear.

He’d been quiet tonight—a bit too quiet.

Something is off.

You can feel it in your bones.

About twenty four hours ago, the both of you had taken the leap and slept together for the first time. Part of you couldn’t help but begin to spiral a little bit as you began to wonder if Joel had any regrets about what you two had done.

You certainly hoped that wasn’t the case

Because you sure as hell didn’t regret it.

“Joel,” you say his name tentatively.

You’re met with a questioning hum. “Hm?”

“You’ve been awfully quiet,” you state, physically cringing at just how painfully obvious the anxious edge in your tone had been. “Everything alright?”

Joel sighs, his warm breath tickling your ear. He moves one of his hands and places it on your arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Sorry, my sweet girl. I just—my mind’s a bit preoccupied, that’s all it is.”

“About what?”

He hesitates, but then replies, “‘Bout last night.”

Your heart sinks deep into the pit of your stomach.

“You regret it, don’t you?” you blurt out before you can stop yourself.

“Wait, what?” Joel swiftly turns you around in his arms and he takes you by your shoulders. He shakes his head furiously. “No. That ain’t it. That ain’t it at all, peach. ‘Course I don’t regret it—are you crazy?”

You frown at him. “Then what is it, Joel?”

Once again, he hesitates. His hands fall away from your shoulders and he takes a step or two backwards, his gaze unable to meet yours. “The thing is, we were so caught up in the heat of the moment that—well neither of us even thought ‘bout protection,” he’d mumbled the last part of his sentence so quietly it had barely been audible. Even in the darkness, the redness burning his face and neck over the nature of the conversation was evident. “We just went for it without even thinkin’ ‘bout protection and I’ll be honest, baby. S’got me a bit worried, y’know?”

You raise an eyebrow at him.

Jackson is fortunate to have an abundance of a lot of things—condoms aren’t one of them.

“It’s okay, Joel,” you assure him after a minute or two of silence. “I’m clean. Luke is the only person I have ever been with besides you, and he’s been so tired from working so much over the last couple of months that he hardly even touches me—”

“That ain’t what I’m worried ‘bout, darlin’.”

You stare at him with a puzzled look.

Then, a split second later, it sinks in.

“You’re worried about getting me pregnant,” you realize, slowly.

It’s Joel’s turn to seem confused.

“‘Course I’m worried. I finished inside of you last night—wait just a minute, ain’t you worried ‘bout it?”

Your lips part in slight surprise.

Ellie knows about your condition, but Joel doesn’t.

Well, that girl certainly knows how to keep a secret.

“I’m not worried, actually,” you tell him. “Because I can’t get pregnant. It’s not possible.”

He breathes out in relief. “You’re on birth control.”

You toss him an amused glance. “Yeah, you can find bottles of birth control pills in the commune’s market right next to the condom aisle.”

Joel glares at you. “That supposed to be funny?”

Your small smile fades and you look down, your eyes fixing themselves on the dirt. “Actually, there is something you should probably know about me. I, um, I can’t—” You pause just long enough to let out a heavy sigh. “I can’t have children, Joel.”

Although you can’t see him, you feel him staring at you. You can feel the way his eyes had gone wide, the way his mouth fell open in surprise.

“There’s a reason that me and Luke never had any kids over the course of our marriage. And it’s hard to admit it, but that reason is me.” Mustering a bit of courage, you finally bring your eyes up off of the ground and look at Joel. “We tried for a really long time to have children. I did get pregnant once, but then I lost it. That was a couple of years ago. I was never able to get pregnant again, so I think it’s fair for us to assume that I’m the problem.”

Joel frowns. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Like what?”

“You said that you’re the problem.”

“But I am—”

“That doesn’t make you a problem,” he says as he takes a step towards you. He grabs both of your hands, holding them firmly in his own. “It doesn’t make you a problem, peach. You not bein’ able to have children doesn’t mean there’s anythin’ wrong with you, alright? So don’t fuckin’ say it like that. I ain’t gonna let you.”

You can’t help but let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, well my husband certainly thinks otherwise.”

Anger flashes across Joel’s features. “He say somethin’ to you ‘bout it?”

“He’ll throw it right in my face whenever we fight,” you mumble to him in admission, feeling a batch of warm tears sting at your eyes. More than being saddened by your inability to conceive, you feel so damn humiliated. Over the years, Luke had all but drilled it into your brain that there must have been something wrong with you if you couldn’t bear his child—what if Joel thought the same? What if he’d start to think something was wrong with you now that he knew the truth? “I’ve accepted that I won’t ever be a mother, Joel. As much as it used to hurt me, I have done my very best to make peace with it because there’s nothing else I can do. But Luke? He can’t do the same. He always wanted a family and I couldn’t give him one.”

“Darlin’—”

“He always makes me feel like me not being able to have a baby makes me less of a woman.” A hot, stubborn tear slips down the side of your face. “And if I’m being honest, sometimes I can’t help but to think maybe I am less of a woman for it.”

Joel squeezes your hands. “Now you listen to me, m’gonna need you to stop that right now,” he all but demands. His voice is tough and firm, but somehow still gentle at the same time. “You don’t say that ever again, you understand me? That couldn’t be any fuckin’ further from the truth.”

“But—”

“Baby. Hey.” Joel drops one of your hands from his. He lifts his hand up towards your face and he hooks an index finger underneath your chin—his eyes meet yours as he delicately tilts your head up towards his. Simultaneously, he leans down and the tip of his nose brushes yours. “There’s no fuckin’ but here, darlin’. You are the most amazin’ woman that I’ve ever met in my whole, entire life. If Luke is too much of a fuckin’ idiot to see how perfect you are, that’s his fuckin’ problem. The way I see it, you’re too much woman for him and he doesn’t deserve somebody like you.”

Your free hand flies to your mouth, muffling a sob.

Joel Miller loves you.

He hasn’t said it yet, but you know that he does.

And not only does Joel love you, but his love, it’s unconditional.

It’s unconditional, it’s pure, and it’s real.

You’ve never known a feeling like this. Never in your life did you think you would even have the chance to know a feeling like this.

Not until Joel had come along.

Joel gingerly wipes at your face with the back of his hand. “I didn’t mean to make you cry darlin’—”

“It’s okay. I just—I didn’t know something like this was possible.” you release a small, tearful laugh.

“Somethin’ like what?” he asks, bringing his lips close to yours. He had known what you’d meant to say, but he needed to hear you say it out loud. He knew slapping a label on what the two of you had wouldn’t make a difference because regardless, it’s solid. He has never been so sure of someone or something in his life. Still, Joel would be lying if he said that he didn’t want to hear you say it and simply confirm what he already knew. “Somethin’ like what, sweet girl?”

You shiver at the way his mouth hovers about a centimeter or two over yours, so close but so far away from where you need it to be. Placing your hands on his chest, you peer up at him through the thickness of your eyelashes and say shyly, “I didn’t know a relationship like this was possible.”

An inexplicable warmth radiates throughout every inch of Joel’s body at the word.

Relationship.

“You make me happy, Joel. So incredibly, stupidly happy,” you confess to him. “You make me feel wanted, you make me feel beautiful—”

He cuts you off, pressing his mouth to yours softly.

After a brief moment, he pulls back slightly and murmurs against your lips, “C’mon, let’s head on over to the barn so I can spend the next couple of hours really makin’ you feel beautiful.”

#joel miller story #joel miller series #joel miller drabble #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x oc #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #joel miller x original character #joel miller pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic #the last of us imagine #fic: a safe haven #fic: ash

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no-phrogs-in-hats · 7 months

Text

Baby Steps Part 1

Larissa Weems x fem!reader

Summary: Larissa and reader begin their journey to becoming parents

Warnings: Needles, pregnancy, mentions of PCOS (PCOS girlies unite), blood

A/N: Okay, so a lot of you wanted me to write a Larissa x pregnant!reader and I've decided to make this a tiny series. I was gonna make it a tiny continuation of If I Could Turn Back Time, but I forgot in the epilogue that they adopted a student so oh well. Tiny Larissa x reader series! Also I know I could've just had Larissa shapeshift a dick, but I'm not up for writing that.

Also lmk if you wanna be tagged in the next part<3

Read Part 2 here

It was in the dark of your bedroom that you whispered her name, “Larissa?”

“Hm?”

You felt her arms tighten around your waist. “What do you think about…children?”

“Children?” She sat up and leaned over you. “Well, I think I have to like them since I’m the principal of a school.”

You sighed, smiling softly as she pecked you on the lips. “That’s not what I meant. I mean…a…family. What do you think about a–starting a…family…?”

Your heart began to race. It had been on your mind for months and all you were waiting for was the courage to bring up the topic. You were anticipating Larissa’s reaction, every scenario in your head ending with the phrase, “Maybe we should get a divorce.”

But, instead, when she laid back down behind you and pulled you into her embrace, she placed a kiss on your neck and smiled. “I would love nothing more, my darling.”

Larissa held your hand as you sat on the table at the doctors office. The sterile white paper underneath you crinkled with every move you made.

“The doctor should be in shortly,” the scribe said, smiling before tossing her gloves out and leaving the room.

Your eyes wandered the room, noting the diagrams and pieces of maternity art that hung on the beige walls. You giggled as you watched Larissa blow into a latex glove before letting it go and watching it fly around the room. You sobered up immediately when a soft knock on the door was heard.

“Hi!” The door opened and a short woman with frizzy hair walked in. “I’m Dr. Curan. It’s lovely to meet you.” She took a seat on the rolling stool in front of the computer, opening your file on it and skimming through it. “So, I see that you’re here for an evaluation.”

“Yeah, we’ve decided to, uhh…start a family. But, as you can see,” you said, gesturing between yourself and Larissa, “we kind of need help with that.”

The doctor smiled. “Well I can help you with that. Were you thinking in vitro? Intrauterine?”

“Intrauterine,” you answer. “Of course, though, in vitro is okay if it’s necessary.”

“Okay! So, the first thing we’re gonna have to do for intrauterine–or artificial insemination, whichever one you wanna call it–is a fertility test.” Dr. Curan looked over your chart once again. “I can see in your chart here that you do have PCOS, so that can affect your fertility. Other than that, you’re healthy and you’re young, so my hopes are high for this.”

“And what does the test consist of?” you heard Larissa ask.

“Part of it will be a blood test,” the doctor said. “This one will measure two hormone levels. The first is the follicle-stimulating hormone. Its main job is to control the growth of eggs in your ovaries. And the second hormone is anti-mullerian. It’s produced by the follicles themselves and the more anti-mullerian you have, the more eggs you’re probably going to have.”

“And the other part?” you asked.

“The other part will be the antral follicle count,” Dr. Curan explained. “It’ll be performed by a transvaginal ultrasound. Basically, we’ll count how many follicles are in your ovaries. And, after that, we’ll go over the treatment plan.”

Waiting for the sonographer, you laid on your back with your feet in stirrups. You watched as Larissa, with arms folded in front of her, looked closely at a framed poster with fun facts about the female anatomy.

“Did you know this?” she gawked. “Prehistoric females had an average of fifty periods in their lifetime! And the average woman will use 11,000 tampons in her life! That’s bonkers!” She looked back at you, meeting your surprised look before turning back around to continue reading. “Oh, look at this! A contraction can give a force that equates to roughly 1,938 kilograms of pressure! That’s 4,272 pounds! Women’s breasts can grow up to three cup sizes while pregnant! Their blood volume increases by fifty percent and their heart can grow bigger because of that! This is incredible! I can’t believe I never knew some of these!”

“Larissa,” you huff, “you need to stop reading these off to me, otherwise I’ll schedule a tubal ligation instead of an intrauterine insemination.”

She pursed her lips and smiled at you before walking over and taking your hand. Larissa leaned down and placed a kiss on your lips, “Oh, you’ll be fine, darling.”

Standing at the sink, you watched out the window as your hands worked idly, scrubbing away at dirty pots and pans. You were lost in your thoughts when you felt a presence behind you. Arms wrapped around your waist and you gasped as hands slid to your hips and lips skimmed over your neck.

Low groans from Larissa vibrated over your throat as she kissed and nipped at the exposed skin. “It’s seven o’clock. Maybe you should put a hold on the dishes.”

“Maybe you should be patient,” you retorted. “A few more minutes won’t make a difference.”

Larissa hummed, “Talking back? You know, Christmas is coming up next month. I’d hate for you to end up on the naughty list…”

“Have any punishments in mind?” you quipped.

You could feel her heavy breath on your neck as her hands wandered more. Down to your ass, up to your waist, over to your breast. “So, so many,” she murmured into your ear.

You could feel one of her hands keep you steady as the other one retreated from your body. They returned shortly and one of them pulled your shirt up over your belly. “And–Ow!”

A sharp pain in your lower abdomen caused you to jolt, and after five seconds Larissa stepped away. You glared at her as she giggled to herself and recapped the needle on the pen. She pressed a kiss to your cheek, “Just think about our future child. When you’re done here, I’ll be in the bedroom…waiting for you.”

Later that night, beneath the warm comforter and cold air, your naked bodies, slick with sweat, were locked in a tight embrace.

“Maybe we could ask Vlad,” you giggled.

Larissa laughed and tightened her arms around your waist, pulling you closer. “Vlad? Really?”

“Mhm,” you joked. “He’s good looking. He’s athletic. He’s European. He’s the whole package, Larissa.”

“How about we choose someone from the donor list,” Larissa suggested.

You sighed, “Fine. As long as they’re attractive. I don’t want an ugly kid.”

“You are ridiculous.”

Your leg bounced up and down as you sat with Larissa in the waiting room.

“What if it’s negative?” you ramble. “What if we’ve done all of this stuff for nothing?”

Larissa’s hand went to your knee, squeezing it lightly to calm your fidgeting. “Then we’ll do it again if you want. Darling, you’re young. You’re healthy. We have plenty of time. And if you no longer want to do it, there are other options.”

When your name was called, Larissa took your hand and walked with you into the room. She sat beside you as you had your blood drawn, talking about names and if the baby would have powers like you, what color to paint the nursery and if you should start looking for a bigger house.

The phlebotomist stood up after bandaging your arm. “Alright, whenever you’re ready, you’re all set. Let me know if you feel dizzy or lightheaded and I’ll get you some juice. It’s a Friday, so you should expect the results in your chart on Monday or Tuesday, and if you haven’t by Wednesday, feel free to give us a call.”

Monday morning, your heart was racing. Your anxieties would be cured sometime that day–to be replaced with elation or disappointment. When? You didn’t know. And you hated it. The entire day moved at a snail’s pace. You could hardly focus while teaching and kept checking your phone every time it buzzed. This happened so many times, in fact, that you had to silence it altogether.

At lunch, you checked your phone again, but to no avail. It was during the last class of the day that you were sitting at your desk and grading papers while the students had free time that the buzz of your phone made you almost sick with anticipation.

New message: ‘Hello! You have one (1) new test result waiting in your chart. Questions? Call (802)44…’

You thought the bell would never ring. However, when it did, and your students flooded out of the room, you followed suit with your phone in hand. Rushing up the stairs, you had made it to Larissa’s office in record timing. You knocked quietly on the door and when you heard a faint voice beckoning you to enter, you did.

“How was your day?” Larissa smiled as she put away files in a desk drawer .

“Long,” you sighed, giving her a peck on the lips before sitting down. “But, I got an interesting message…The test results are available.”

Larissa froze. “What are you doing? Open it!”

“But, what if it’s negative?” you said.

She took your hand in hers, eyes softening and her voice lowering. “My darling, if it’s negative, it isn’t the end of the world. Like I said a couple weeks ago, this isn’t our only option.”

“Right…” You took a deep breath and sighed. “Well, here we go.”

You unlocked your phone and opened your online patient portal. The words at the top of the screen make your insides turn.

One (1) new test result!

You tapped on them.

Lab results - Blood

Pregnancy

Result:

Positive

#gwendoline christie #larissa weems #larissa weems x reader #fanfic #fluff

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vibratingskull · 1 month

Note

Would I be able to request Thrawn x pregnant reader? Where Thrawn realizes she’s pregnant before the reader does and gets very protective, but the reader does not understand why, and they end up in an argument but Thrawn wants her to discover the pregnancy herself. I’m not sure how you’d go about that but I know you’re a really good writer so I’d love to see you write that imagine if that makes sense.

Future dad Thrawn, protective Thrawn, jealous Thrawn protecting his pregnant wife... A dream come true really.

Thrawn x F!reader

It just started like any other month, but both of your fates transcended that day.

“Maker fricking... Gosh!” He hears you curse through the bathroom wall.

“Is there a problem, Ch’acah? Do you need assistance?” He rises from the sofa to knock at the door.

You open the door visibly tired.

“It’s just... My period stopped again but the cramps are here once again!” You sigh visibly at the end of your life.

Nothing out of the ordinary. Your periods have always been unpredictable since he knew you thanks to PCOS. You could not have them for several months straight and then bleed for almost an entire month. Or they could just come back normal for a period to completely derail once again, just to taunt you. But no matter what, the cramps always come back with a vengeance.

He could only stand as a witness of your distress and help in the little ways he can.

“I am terribly sorry, ch’eo Ch’acah. What can I do to help?”

You sighed again, lowering your shoulders, terribly irritated.

“I want to nap for an entire month.”

He smiles, empathetic. He remembers back in the Ascendancy, he was the go-to guy to ask to buy period products in his social circle when no girls around could do it. He never saw it as weird or even humiliating to go to the counter with a tampon box in hand, his friends needed his help and who was he to refuse to extend his hand? He got a lot of weird looks when he entered the pharmacy in his neat Naporar uniform only to go straight to the women’s health section. Ziara forgot her period was supposed to start and he never saw her so... distraught, so on edge and on the verge of tears. He offered her his jacket to wrap around her hips to hide any stains and headed to the store immediately.

Since that day he always carried a pad in his bag in case of emergency for his friends and female classmates.

And it came in use more than one time!

His behavior didn’t change when he started dating you, if anything it came in handy a lot. Always checking if you had a box of menstrual protection in advance without you even asking him, remembering you to sterilize your cup regularly when you wanted to try it, changing numerous sheets you bleed on during the night, hand washing the blood stains on your pajamas that the washer didn’t get.

He also makes sure you have painkillers at arm’s reach at any time, he will prepare as many hot water bottles as you need while you lay in bed, in pain and uncomfortable, and he will massage your back or rub your lower belly delicately each time you ask, applying gentle pressures strategically.

He knows an orgasm can greatly reduce periods cramps and will gladly give you one to help relieve you by gently massaging your clit until you are a shaking mess in his hands or a cunnilingus, his favorite method, whether you are bleeding or not. He is not afraid of a bit of blood on his tongue and will eat you out longly until you come hard in his mouth and finally relax as your orgasm eases your painful muscles.

But if you only want a cuddle he will join you in bed and hold you tight, as the big spoon, caressing your tummy softly.

That’s no big deal, that’s just what being a good husband is.

“I understand your distress, Ch’acah. But maybe a month’s nap is unrealistic.”

You purse your lips, going to sit on the bed.

“Not only that but I’m super smelly and I hate that.” You grouse.

He tilts his head.

“What do you mean? You always smell lovely.”

“You wish. I already took a shower this morning and I need to take one again, I think my hormones are fucking me up today. I feel so dirty.”

“Your hygiene is impeccable.”

“Judge for yourself if you don’t believe me!” You start losing patience, too in pain to be rational.

He gently approaches to take your hand and smells your wrist.

He takes a sniff.

And froze.

“See?” You respond “I’m dirty, I’m sweaty and miserable!”

He doesn’t listen, his brain is too focused on trying to rationalize what he is smelling at this very second. He remains still, one knee to the ground, your hand in his, his nose above your delicate wrist and his eyes slowly blinking in the realization of what he is smelling.

Is it possible? After so many tries, after so many failed attempts and heartbreaking clinical news, could you truly be...?

He switfly turns his head to you, a breath caught in his throat. You round your eyes in surprise.

“Wow okay... No need to look so shocked, I know I smell, I’ll take a shower.”

You do not understand, not yet.

You hate that odor but to him this is the most delectable one he ever got to smell.

He slightly rises to push your hair out of the way to bury is face in your neck.

He has to be sure...

He deeply inhales with his red eyes closed.

Oh that delicious smell...

His heart contracts painfully as he feels waves of dark energy in his veins, propelling him forward, and forcing you to lay on the mattress under his weight. You yelp in surprise as he grabs a fistful of your hair and hugs you painfully tight.

“Thrawn? What the-”

He brushes his nose against the skin of your neck, reveling in this new scent, full of wonders and promises.

After all those years, are you finally pregnant? Full with his baby, your little one to the both of you? Are you going to make him a father?

His reason urges him to the be rationnal and level headed but his Chiss instincts are waking up with a vengeance of being asleep for so long!

A baby!

A miracle!

He cannot fight the urge to lick your neck from shoulder to jaw, he wants to taste that smell, to taste this victory against destiny itself.

So many doctors and medics warned your couple. You had fertility problems and you are from two different species, and while you never said it out loud you kind of stopped hoping for a baby after several years of unfruitful tries. You simply resigned yourself.

He couldn’t hold it against you. You knew your body and you knew the odds.

He never stopped hoping, he simply kept it low to not upset you, the subject getting sensitive for you.

But today,

Today you are pregnant! Today you cheated fate!

He feels the thrills flowing in his veins, pushing him to claim you as his, leaving his odor on you to deter any rivals. He almost digs his nails in your flesh to keep you close to him.

He mentally slaps himself, getting back control over that brutal urge, he recover is usual sterness and gently kisses your cheek.

You look at him suspicsiously, what got over him?

“As I said, you smell lovely.” He smiled lightly.

“What kind of reaction was that?” You ask gauging him up and down.

“My apologies, Chiss are more sensible to odors and scents than humans.”

“... And you like mine when I’m sweaty and dirty?” You ask more and more incredulous.

“You are not dirty, my love.” He brushes his nose with yours, holding your face between his two hands, “And for the record, I love your smell no matter what, I can learn so many things about you with it, like where you are in your cycle, or if you’re off of it...” He tries to hint at it.

“Hugh, don’t tell me about it.”

You do not understand.

It is all right. You are really early in the pregnancy, you have all the time to discover it.

In fact he wont say a thing, leaving you the surprise. He will even lie and pretend he didn’t knew when you will reveal to him the news, triumphant, that you succeeded against all odds.

That will be your victory and he will celebrate you for it.

He can even celebrate you tonight without you knowing!

“In fact I love it so much I want to devour you right now.” He purrs lowly, waving his hips against yours, brushing his loins between your open legs.

“Oh Thrawn...” You wince, “I can’t do it with you tonight, I’m too uncomfortable, I’m sorry I-”

“Oh no, no, no, no, Ch’acah.” He reassures you, “You lay back and relax, let me do the work. I will take great care of you.”

He knows you can’t do penetrative sex in this state, he will eat you out all night long instead. He is drooling just thinking about it.

Oh, he’s gonna take such good care of you sweetheart, let him work his magic on you and enjoy yourself! You deserve so many orgasms for your marvelous present to him, he feels motivated to break his personal record.

He will stop only when you will be crying from overstimulation...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Did you take weight?” Xoxtin asks out of the blue while loudly munching on her dish.

You raise a warning glance at her. From the corner of your eyes, you see Karin tensing up and Lark’s bite almost takes a wrong turn.

“I am saying that for you, you should hit the gym more often.” she continues, inconsiderate.

You roll your eyes with a sigh, who accepted her at the table again?

“How do you expect to find a man if you let yourself go like that?” She insists.

“Did he ever crossed your mind that I was not searching for a man maybe?” You falsely smile at her.

You indeed gained some weight recently, but it always fluctuates with your condition. What’s more bothering you lately is the sickness you have at different time of the day for two weeks now.

Thrawn is also weirdly... on edge recently? Hard to describe but he is a lot more tactile, hugging just a bit too tight to be comfortable, like he was trying to melt your bodies into one, he seems to try to hold you back when you release his hand, and he seems constantly looming behind your back. You could swear you heard him growl at a colleague talking to you yesterday!

And as romantic as it might sound you both agreed to keep your marriage a secret and he really isn’t making any effort to be subtle lately.

Xoxtin purses her lips in disaproval.

“It’s going to come bite you in the neck if you’re not careful”

“I have PCOS. I gain and lose weight at the goodwill of my uterus. That’s kinda outside of my control.”

“I’m saying that for you.” She speaks with her mouth full.

“Oh come on,” Lark slides into the conversation uninvited, “With or without those new pounds she would still have that pretty face to make heads spin.”

He suddenly wraps his arm around your shoulder to press you against his body. You’re so taken aback you don’t stop him, do not even tell him to release you. He grabs your chin with his other hand .

“Look at her! She is adorable.” And he just kisses your cheek.

You are just about to flick him off when he’s literally ripped out of you violently, making you jump away in fear and surprise.

“What the...?!”

You discover Thrawn, looming over Lark, on the ground. His hands are clasped behind his back as usual but he looks at him with daggers, his eyes shine brighter proof of an inner turmoil or intense emotion. He is visibly tense, more than you ever saw him. Lark looks up at him, confused like he doesn’t understand it is Thrawn who just threw him across the floor like trash.

“Gr-Grand Admiral Thrawn?” He bablbutiates.

“You will not lay your hands on her again. Am I clear?” Thrawn enunciates slowly, is tone deadly cold.

You can hear him spit the words between his gritted teeth.

“It.. It was nothing, just a little peck, I-”

“Never.Again.Am.I.Clear?” Thrawn repeats deadly.

“Grand Admiral Thrawn!” You interject, “It’s all right, it was nothing, he was joking.”

He spins to you and his gaze shocks you to your core.

He is beyond pissed off.

He is properly enraged.

“This was not all right. This was not nothing.” He counters in a calm tone that sends shivers down your spine, “I cannot let such behaviors fly. This is unjustifiable.”

Okay, Lars trespassed your boundaries but in the end, it was just a kiss on the cheek, Karyn kisses your cheek all the time and Thrawns looks ready to demolish him to blood. He never reacted like that before.

The fuck was that?

“I will take him to have a word in my office, Grand Admiral. Do not worry.” Karyn intervenes, standing up she helps Lark to stand up and walk away with him.

Thrawn keeps looking at you, still and mute while the rest of the mess hall still wonders how to react to that act, silently observing their Grand Admiral they seem ready to flee and scatter at any sound.

They finally look back at their plates in submission but you remain standing, looking at Thrawn with incomprehension. He grabs your hand and pulls you in the corridor of the Chimaera.

“Thrawn, what the fuck?!” You complain.

“I do not want you to eat at the mess hall anymore. You will take your meals in my suite from now on.” He doesn't even look at you saying that, he just keeps walking straight ahead, pulling you behind him.

“Why would I do that?” You protest at his audacity.

“Because I order it.”

You rip your hand of his grip harshly, prompting him to stop and turn towards you with eyes telling you are in trouble.

But you can be both enraged.

“Thrawn. With all the respect I owe you, who the fuck do you think you are to order me around like that?”

He straightens his back, rising with all his height.

“Your Grand Admiral, and more importantly, your husband.”

You just cannot believe what you are hearing right now. This is so unlike him! He never got so angry that he resorted to violence, that he physically removed you from a place and now is ordering you around like that!

Thrawn is not like that. This is not the man you chose for the rest of your life.

“You think it gives you any power over me?!”

He advert his gaze to look around and open a door.

“Please enter. Let us discuss inside privately.”

You breathe through your nose and enter, not without stabbing him with your eyes. Once inside the conference room, you spin to look at him, crossing your arms on your chest and frowning.

“What is wrong with you lately? What is going on?!”

“You are obviously the victim of sexual harassment by your male colleagues. I took the action to intervene for your integrity.”

You blink, taking a second to process his words.

“Lark is a dumbass and a clown, but he is not dangerous. If you didn’t ‘take action’ as you said I would have been able to get rid of him myself and with way less drama and publicity.” You correct him.

He readjusts his position on his feet, grounding himself. He seems calmer but his eyes remain dark and agitated.

“So you expected me to not act when he put his hands on your body and kissed you without consent?” He asks.

“No. And I am glad you reacted to protect me. But throwing him to the ground like that? Publically? Like I thought our marriage was supposed to remain a secret and today you seemed ready to beat him to a pulp!”

“I acted to protect you.”

“Did you? Or did you protect your ego?”

His nostril flares but he remains silent.

Why can’t you see ?

How you make heads turn and spin all around.

Before he didn’t mind it. He knows you will never cheat on him, as he would never cheat on you. He never felt the need to resort to violence to deter any rivals, you stopped them very effectively yourself as he gazed lovingly at you from afar.

But since he knows, all looks caressing your skin is insufferable to him, revolting, a stab in his own flesh, cutting so deep he feels like bleeding to death.

So when Lark laid his hands on you and kissed your cheek, his brain just... Blacked out.

His conscience took a backseat as his instincts took the reins and he grabbed the poor fool to throw him on the ground. He didn’t punched him, but he didn't lack the will.

It was terribly tempting to make him an example.

To assert his dominance over the foolish suitor who though he could steal the pregnant wife of a Chiss. It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t know. Who kisses a colleague so brazenly like that in the first place?

He knew that it would be challenging. He heard tales of males Chiss going off the rails for their pregnant partner in his youth and witnessed some crazy acts in his adulthood. So he knew he would have to prepare himself mentally to protect your common secret, to not loose his cool. He even thought that he would rise above that, that he had full control of his anger and possessivity.

But when he saw Lark all over you...

It was simply so sickening and maddening, and his protective and possessive instinct just screamed at him so loudly that he simply lost control. He forgot about your relationship being a secret, he forgot about being the Grand Admiral, he forgot about his usual restrain.

His only goal was your and the baby’s safety. Who does this man thought he was to touch a Chiss’ mate? A Chiss’ wife? The future mother of a Chiss? He needed to be put in his place urgently.

Now that he has calmed down, he realizes how unbecoming of him and reckless it was.

But if you think he is going to say sorry, you are terribly wrong.

He will not apologize for protecting his pregnant wife. In fact he will do it again, as many times as he has to.

The thing that you are not understanding and that he is slowly realizing right now, is that he could kill fo you.

One of his own officers, no second thought.

If they push the right buttons, he will not take responsibility for his actions.

Because Chiss are protective of their families to an extent you still have absolutely no idea. When Chiss see their partner and children in danger, things get really dangerous, really quickly.

The syndicure had to put special laws in place and create a special category of crime for those very situations. The murder of a rival to protect a wife and an unborn baby was a classic of Chiss culture since millennials, it was a popular trope for books and movies, plays and operas, something deeply ingrained in their psyche.

Barbaric for other species, perfectly justified in their eyes.

So you can sit your pretty butt on any apology because you’re not going to get one.

“Won’t you say something at least?!” You press him.

“I understand where you are coming from. But I do not expect you to understand.”

“Oh really? And why is that if you please? What, I am too stupid to understand the Grand Admiral Thrawn’s glorious mind?” You scoff.

He deeply inhales. He really doesn’t want to tell you, it would spoil it for you. You deserve to discover it for yourself and have the joy to tell him. He so longs for your sparking eyes when you will approach him with a pregnancy test hidden behind your back. Who is he to rob you of that special moment?

“You know I never thought that about you.” He counters .

“Well you sure sound like you do right now.”

You are very clearly pissed at him but right now he wants nothing more but to take you in his arms and carry you tight to the suite to lay in bed with you. He wants to hide you from the rest of the universe, to hug you so tight that you fusion in one single being, like that you will be safe and sound. He wants to smell his scent on you, mixing with yours in a perfect new fragrance. He wants you safe under his body, caged by his weight so nothing could ever reach and hurt you, protecting you with his large stature.

But you would claw his face. So he keeps his urge on a leash.

“I never had and never will have such opinions about you, I respect you too much.”

“But clearly not enough to have the nerves to order me around like that!”

You’re really not going to spare him, do you?

Would he usually have the nerve to grab you to drag you to another place or give you orders like a child? No.

But he felt justified. When it comes to protecting his Ch’acah and unborn baby he has all the rights in the universe!

Protecting you and your baby is his sole focus and worry every day, his mission to the Empire became secondary to him.

“Listen. I don’t know what came over you but I have been sick for months now, I don’t sleep, I puke every day, my back is destroyed and my PCOS is acting up, so I do not have the patience to deal with men petty ego battles right now!” You almost shout, at the end of your patience.

He remains silent, listening to you breathing heavily. He patiently waits, looking at you silently. He is fully calmed down now and only looks at you with adoration in his shiny red eyes.

How could he be mad at you when you are carrying his child? This is simply impossible. This is beyond him.

“Do you feel better?” He softly ask.

You wince.

“I.... Yes. Sorry I screamed. But it needed to be said.” You respond, with a nicer tone.

“I understand and do not hold it against you. In your state mood swings are very common.”

You sniff, slowly relaxing.

“My state, my state... PCOS don’t give me mood swing you know it.” You caress a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I am not talking about your PCOS, Ch’acah. “

You raise an eyebrow with a silent question.

He ponders, should he tell you? Keep the secret?

Sure seeing you come to him with your largest smile to tell you the news sounds terribly alluring, but keeping the news away from will prevent you from getting the appropriate care.

You could hurt yourself and the baby at the gym or while training with colleagues.

He got rid of all the alcohol bottles in the suite behind your back but he knows Faro has a nice whisky collection and loves to invite you over.

The risks are too high, every new day brings its new set of dangers. He needs to put a stop to it.

“You may want to sit, my love.”

You look at him, incredulous, but cave in.

He sits in another chair and leans forward to take your hand in his. He gently caresses the back of it with his thumb, reveling in the softness of your thin human skin. He looks at you and cannot refrain from a smile stretching his lips right now, his second hand comes to caress your cheek.

Your shared life flashes in his mind, all those moments at each other side. So precious.

“I love you so much, Ch’acah.” He softly says, devouring your gorgeous face with his eyes.

“Thrawn, you look like you’re about to tell me something shocking.” You reply a bit freaked out.

He chuckles lightly.

“You will be shocked, I am sure. But in a good way, I promise you.”

“Okay.” You readjust yourself in your chair, bracing yourself for what he is about to throw at you. “I am listening.”

“(Y/n), Ch’acah, my love, light of my days, star of my nights,” He says incredibly softly, squeezing your hand tenderly, caressing your cheekbone, his read eyes spilling love, “You are pregnant.”

@Bluechiss @Thrawnalani @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar @thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @elise2174 @debonaire-princess @twilekchiss @pencil_urchin @ineedazeezee @mssbridgerton @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @Cortisolcosplay @obbicrystaleo @germie2037 @exoplorationn @leo4242564 @jennfir @davesrightshoe

#thrawn x reader #thrawn x you #thrawn x f!reader #thrawn #grand admiral thrawn #mitth'raw'nuruodo #fanfic #vibratingskull

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steviewashere · 3 months

Note

27,28,32 Eddie finds out he’s pregnant and tells Steve

Oooo, okay, I had so much fun with this one! And, get this, it's not almost three thousand words!

27: "I'm pregnant.", 28: "Marry me?", 32: "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified."

Tags: Established Relationship, Post-Canon, Trans Eddie Munson, FTM Eddie Munson, Pregnant Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Steve Harrington Loves Eddie Munson, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Marriage Proposal, Pregnancy Announcement

————— This is definitely not how Eddie thought he’d start his day.

He’s in the bathroom of his and Steve’s apartment, just sat with his head in his hands to accommodate the wave of nausea that overcame him. And that’s when he got the smart idea that…well, maybe he should figure out why he’s been so sick the last week or so. Steve’s still asleep in their bed. Came home late from work, wanted to sleep in on his day off, and already knew that Eddie was sick.

But didn’t know that it was because Eddie’s period was late. He had a sneaking suspicion that there was something wrong, when he didn’t have to put a pad in his underwear, but he thought it could be from PCOS or something unrelated. It’s not. Which is evident in the stupid plastic stick in his shaking hands, lightly glistening from his own urine, and definitely showing two prominent dark pink lines. He’s crying at eight in the morning, holding a stick in his hand, sick to his stomach, and shaking.

Whimpering, he knows that there’s no way he can avoid this. Steve is too observant for his own good. He’ll figure out something’s wrong or changed. And he’ll be too good, too sweet, and Eddie knows he’ll run. So he’s going to face this. Just like he did with the demobats. Facing this is half the battle. Finding out Steve’s reaction is the other half.

He exits the bathroom, stick in hand, but stops short in the open space of their room. At Steve on his belly, snoring smooth into his pillow, blanket pooled at his waist, nude skin golden with sunlight that peers through the window. God, he’s so beautiful; Eddie doesn’t know what to do with himself if Steve rejects all of this. Carefully, he gets back in bed quietly, not even jostling Steve’s body. He sets the test on his bedside table, hovers a hand over Steve’s back, and swallows down the soft sob that wants to override him.

Gently, he runs a languid stripe down Steve’s spine. “Baby,” he whispers, “Stevie, sweetheart? I need you to get up.” He takes a stuttering breath as Steve stirs, rolling over on his right side, blinking his eyes sleepily. Steve yawns, stretches, rubs fists over his eyes. A pout present on his features. Eddie feels awful for having to wake him up so early, but he thinks he’ll throw up if he has to keep this a secret any longer. “Okay,” he exhales. His breath shutters. “Okay, Steve, I need you to listen to me.”

At that, Steve blinks completely awake. Sits himself up against his pillow. Hands already grasping for Eddie’s. Face blank of anything teasing. Eyes going soft and concerned and imploring.

“Um—I—I think I’m in love with you—“

Steve chuckles. “Baby, I already knew that,” he lightly teases. But the small quirk he had to his lips dissipates almost as soon as it appeared, falling into the space between them.

Eddie nods anyway. “—And I’m terrified,” he admits. “I’m really fucking scared right now, but I know that I love you. I know that you love me, but I…” He tears one of his hands out of Steve’s grip, runs it harshly over his face, and curses softly, “Fuck.”

“Hey,” Steve murmurs, “You’re okay. Take your time, babe.”

“I’m pregnant,” he rushes out. “Steve, I’m…I’m pregnant. I don’t know how it happened. Must’ve missed my birth control a few times? Maybe I—I’m probably just fucking stupid and miscalculated when my period was supposed to happen. I’m sorry if this is—“

“Really?” Steve asks, breathless.

That’s when Eddie notices he wasn’t looking at Steve. Drags his eyes from their hands, the blanket that swamps him, and up to Steve’s…excited eyes? Shining and happy. He’s smiling, the small crinkles by his eyes are all too noticeable. Smile lines deep. All his teeth are showing. He releases a sigh of relief, nodding.

“Oh my God!” Steve exclaims, bouncing the bed with it. “Holy shit! That’s awesome, Eds. That’s so…Wait.” He pauses. Movement stilling. He’s half off the bed, angling for his bedside drawer, and reaching to Eddie, too. “Unless…Do you want this? I’m really excited for this, but I only want this if you want to.”

“I…” Eddie looks off to the side momentarily. He’s a bit afraid, honestly. Of what may happen with his body. What he may have to go through. The absolute uncomfortableness that he’ll have to endure, but…He’s thought about this before and been excited about it, too. Kids weren’t always ideal to him, not really. But having a kid with somebody he considers the love of his life, who’s looking at him like a puppy awaiting a bone toss, he’s content with whatever happens next. “Yeah, Stevie, I think I do,” he murmurs, “But only with you. With anybody else, I think I’d shrivel up and die.”

At that, Steve bounds off the mattress and disappears down their hallway, clambering about their living room. He rushes back in, careless of the neighbors below them, and skitters to a stop in front of Eddie. Slams his butt back down on the bed, hand gripping something, taking both of Eddie’s hands.

“You’re going to think I’m crazy,” Steve pants. “Like, seriously, insane.”

“Okay,” Eddie says slowly, “You’re scaring me a little, baby.”

He can see Steve swallow harshly. “Sorry,” he mutters sheepishly. “I just—This is crazy. I’m crazy. So, like we were close friends for a really long time before we got together,” he begins first. Gesturing with their conjoined hands between them. “And I knew that you were somebody I wanted in my life, no matter what we were. I knew that, like, day one? So, when we started dating, I had a feeling deep down that you were it for me.”

His eyes dart very briefly as if searching for words. He bites down on his bottom lip and works his breathing to be set normal. Eddie didn’t even realize he was still panting until he fully relaxes in how he sits.

“In our second week of dating, I got this insane idea. Went out to the mall with Robin, dragged her to the nearest jewelry store, and made them figure out the size of one of your rings. The ones you put on your ring fingers,” Steve explains softly. He grabs for whatever is in his left hand, fidgeting with it so that only he can see it, and then turns it around for Eddie to finally peer at. It’s a small, blue, velvet box. “We don’t have to do anything about this immediately. Whatever you want, I want. You’re one of my best friends. My romantic soulmate. And I love you beyond belief. So…Marry me?” He asks, enamored and giddy.

The box opens. Revealing the shiniest silver ring Eddie’s ever seen. It’s not that thick, a simple thing, doesn’t have anything added to it. But to know that it was made to his exact size, that’s something he carries warmly inside his chest.

He looks back up to Steve. “Yes!” He exclaims. “Are you…You’ve had this since week two? I can’t believe you right now, baby. Holy—“ And he takes the ring from the box, lets Steve slide it on his left ring finger, and just admires at it.

“I can’t believe that I get to be a dad, too, Eds. You’re the love of my life. This is…Fuck sleeping, lets celebrate!”

“Oh, how do you plan to do that? Because I could just sit here and fucking ogle this forever, Stevie.”

“I’ll show you how excited I am, how about that?” Steve teases. His eyes hood, cheeks flush pink, and Eddie knows he’s the happiest man alive right now. Well, other than the darling man in front of him. The pure giddy excitement on his face is something special.

#stranger things #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #my asks #trans eddie munson #ftm eddie munson #established relationship #mild hurt/comfort

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