#how they could not forsake him ;—; how easy it would be to do that

[cassatine]

my conclave review i guess! i was going to gush in chat but then. too many words.

so literally all i knew about it going in was (1) a cardinal vapes in it (2) probably it's about a conclave?? (3) good vibes according to dashboard osmosis. the cinematography was a+, which i always appreciate. i liked that on one level it's a perfect comedy, really fucking funny in a sort of understated way. the beginning kinda reminded me of the death of stalin, what with the inciting event being the guy at the top of the hierarchy dying… somehow excellent comedy setup. at the very beginning, when lawrence & co struggle a bit to take the ring off the pope's corpse and it's all so ritualized, that's when i knew it was going to be Funny.

but beyond the fact that it was funnier than i expected... i liked the layers. most of all i think i liked the earnestness. ralph fiennes mid-crisis of faith, hating his job, trying to be a moral man in a system that is broken?? chef's kiss. the other cardinals of note were also nicely layered, like adeyemi? it would have been so easy to just stop at his being homophobic and treat his having had a kid being revealed as comeuppance but the way he cries and asks lawrence to pray with him… he sucks and it's a good thing he's taken off the race but it also happens for the wrong reason. bellini who's lying to himself and everyone else over not wanting to be the pope when he so clearly does and still letting himself be bought by the promise of a nice post… and yet he is not just an hypocrite. he sees he failed. he apologizes. he is only human. tedesco could have been a one note villain but he's the coolest dude around, and on a fundamental level that's part of what makes him dangerous: he's a reactionary and a bigot but he makes it kinda sexy. you want to like him; he's fun to watch and he has style, something the other cardinals probably wouldn't recognize if it hit them in the face. benitez. well. benitez is jesus. sister agnes was neat, it's a bit sad we don't really get to know her but she's indispensable and i love that for her. like. here's a bunch of dudes with all the decisional power who expect her to just exist in the background doing the menial work and then her printer expertise ends up being vital, and in general lawrence wouldn't have managed as well without her support… noice.

the end feels a bit easy, like lbr benitez being elected pope because he made a nice speech is ludicrous, but also… it works for me?

(1) on some level the film is about the difficulties of trying to be a moral person in a system that does not reward being moral. sure it's about faith and doubt and the limitations of organized religion. it's about catty bitches vying for power in a ritualized way that, on some level, speaks of an institution that ossified, that resists change (and on that note: benitez, obviously-the-best candidate only gets elected because people skirt the isolation rules, because the outside world intrudes. also because he is jesus.) it's stated near the beginning that the pope hadn't lost faith in god but in the church, and through the movie we can see why, all the machinations and the thirst for power and the fallibility of the men within the institution. through lawrence we see how much easier it would be to just… stop trying, to do the convenient thing, the easy thing, rather than the right thing, and to find justifications for that: better not make waves and better not make a scandal, for the sake of electing a blandly liberal pope rather than tedesco. and who would disagree? sure, better a bland liberal than reactionary tedesco. but then comes the ethical quandary: should the goal of avoiding one evil mean closing your eyes to another? should you forsake your sense of right and wrong for the greater good? too often i think we are told to prioritize the greater good, and maybe sometimes we should. but maybe sometimes we shouldn't. maybe sometimes we should hold to our principles. in the end, benitez being elected pope isn't going to miraculously make the catholic church and its agents unproblematic. but it is a win, and it happens because lawrence kept choosing to do (what he believes is) the right thing, the moral thing, even when it's not easy, even when it's inconvenient, even when he's told he's being naive and hurting the greater cause. and i appreciate that message.

(2) as i said: benitez is jesus. the film is a parable… it's a story about how jesus showed up, completedly unexpected, in the middle of the church his disciples built, and because the church is made up of people and people are flawed and faillible and too busy with things like power, they did not notice jesus walking among them. at least not until god (metaphorically) shone a light on him. like yes sure the way benitez ends up the one elected is ludicrous but!! it took an act of god. not the bombs per se. but the tragedy of it intruding into the isolated conclave? the windows exploding, the light coming in, this is what allows the true stakes to become clear again, and for benitez's love thy neighbour speech to take place at all - a speech contrasted with tedesco's own, all the style stripped from him, making it clear he is a man who reaches for hate and not compassion. it's a parable!! it takes a tragedy. it takes an act of god.

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

I wanna hear your head canons about Gaz (sfw or nsfw, or both,what ever you want), you write him so well 😩

—In His Head

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 5k Drabble Masterlist ࿐ྂ

╰┈➤ ❝ [Collection of his SFW and NSFW quirks.] ❞

This man is literally the only one in the One-Four-One I could see having/keeping a long-term relationship without much challenge and/or angst. Johnny’s a close second, but Kyle takes the cake because I love him and I’m biased towards men with brown eyes.

Gaz strikes me as incredibly attentive and kind—especially to someone he loves and cares about in more than a friendly way. He’s a breakfast-in-bed type of boyfriend even if he’s tired. Long date nights that leave you both laughing and losing track of time until it’s late at night and you have to get back to your flat before the sun comes up. I’m talking fancy/casual/anything that he feels you emulate at the time of going out. 

You want to dress up? He’s already called for a reservation at the expensive restaurant down the street. You’re tired from work but want to do something with him? An easy dinner is already cooked and a movie is playing on the telly—your favorite drink is in your hand before you can slip off your shoes near the door.

Gaz has that boyish charm that I talk about often. He’ll make you laugh, gasp, and wheeze even when you think you can’t. 

That isn’t to say he’s never serious, because he is. 

When the weight becomes too much, he’s by your side when he’s off from deployments. He pulls you into one of those tight and all-consuming hugs, head on top of yours and lightly rocking you back and forth while you cry it out. Whispering into your scalp and rubbing his hand up and down your spine. Gaz breathes you down, concern tight in his face and his jaw clenched to restrain the flood of what he wants to say—you only need him to hold you and tell you things are going to be okay, so that’s what he does.

NSFW-wise, he’s just as attentive. He’s not inexperienced, either—he knows how to please you and has no trouble forsaking his painful hard-on just to get you off as many times as it takes with his fingers/mouth. 

Personally, I think he has an oral fixation. Loves watching you writhe above him as he goes down on you, or, heaven forbid he gets you to sit on his face. Goes absolutely feral as his face gets drenched and he feels your nails on his scalp. Moans/groans/grunts unabashedly as his hands grip your thighs and ass, letting your hips jump and tighten around him. 

Does not care if you’re worried about your weight. 

“I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t want it, Love.”

Make him go lightheaded. He’s begging you. 

Gaz is a switch—top, bottom, doesn’t matter, he’s making you feel good and you’re making him feel amazing so it doesn’t bother him if you suddenly shove him over and climb on top mid-fuck. His hands snap and help you ride him, head tilting back into the pillow and mouth opening in breathless groans. 

I don’t see him as incredibly into rough sex—he would never hurt you, and anything that involves that would make him nervous about your safety. Very light breathplay is alright, but he’s not going to apply more pressure than a light squeeze. Gets upset if he finds any marks beyond hickeys on you—kisses them and mutters apologies into your skin as he continues rutting into you softly. 

Very into overstimulation and edging on both parts. 

Bring him to tears and leave him wanting you until he’s physically shaking and trying to grab at himself even as he’s hissing at the slight sizzles of pain. 

But, above all of that, he always wants to see your eyes while he’s pounding into you—missionary is his go-to until you decide you want to move/change/etc. The man just likes making sure you’re enjoying yourself, and that in and of itself helps get him off. Moan for him, be as loud as you want, it’s like a present as your eyes go all glossy and pleasure-drunk.

Will tease you about it though. I don’t make the rules.

“That good, Love? Yeah? Fuckin’ hell, hear that down there? Dripin’ for me—c’mon let me hear it, then. Let me hear those sounds from that pretty mouth. There we are, just like that. No need to be shy.”

Just slam your lips to his to shut him up, he can’t resist you—it’ll even make him move a bit faster.

All and all 10/10 boyfriend/husband material if you can deal with him being away for long periods of time for deployments. 

No doubt he always makes it up to you on leave.

[juicerca]

im gonna go feral if i see the clip of sylus going 'i guess you don't remember Anything ™?' again

oml this fake idgafer. I LOVE YOU!!!I LOVD YOU SO MUCH 😞😞😞💔💔💔💔😭😭😭

short drabble alert, lowkey just my character analysis of main story sylus. I HAVENT DONE THE NEW CHAPTERS YET BC IM WAITING FOR AFTER EXAMS 💔💔💔 it was originally just meant to be a quick post abt how much i love the animation in that scene 😭

barren eyes. dim red with no soul, no lustre. like a gem worn from wear and neglect with no caring jeweller or owner to polish them.

dark and misted like his own evol.

that lazy smirk he defaults to. one that didn't reach his eyes this time because how could it? knowing you had forgotten him. not just your childhood, but your intrinsic soul link to him.

your instinct to devour him only reminiscent of the cruelty he found solace away from with you.

how could you do this to him when the love he had learnt, and half of his very essence was yours?

how could you be so selfish to forget what you once treasured so easily?

...was he no longer your dragon..?

for him, that day was when you had taught him what it meant to be truly cursed. to be subjected to a life of silent protection and unspoken, one-sided vows with no reciprocation. not that he did it for anything like that.

he did it simply because it was you.

because he would never forsake you.

because no matter what, his soul will call for yours.

the melody imprinted on his mind from your days of slowly becoming a fiend, and the cheeky antics he could only put up with because you were his end. they were all gone from your memories.

it was counterintuitive, yes. but it was true. knowing you were his demise didn't matter.

to think you didn't even know his name...the one you stubbornly bestowed upon him. the one you picked for your own convenience. the one he adored. it took every fibre of his being not to breakdown.

he wasn't expecting much. he knew you wouldn't know of the cruelty you were subject to, and god forbid he be the one to remind you. but he was.

and it broke his heart.

learning you felt disgusted by him was the final straw. his back carried enough burden, and being hated by you was the worst chain you could have interlocked onto his shackles.

he wasn't expecting to be your lover. amicable was enough. please, he was confident but he wasn't arrogant. he had been watching you as your silent guardian. not as a sick freak trying to monopolize you.

but you being disgusted by him was a sick joke.

he had never hated his haste so vehemently before or after this. his patience was a virtue he swore never to misplace with you from that moment on.

he wanted you to rip out his eye and devour it for yourself. your greed would delight him, and his pain would ease his guilt.

leaving you wasn't easy. but he knew it was only right. why on earth would you want to spend time with someone you found disgusting?

whatever it was that linked you two together, was his archnemesis...but also his greatest blessing.

[anarchyrpbook]

LADY MACBETH a roleplay sentence meme with various quotes and sentences taken from ava reid's lady macbeth. this book is based on shakespeare's the tragedy of macbeth, and as such there are dark themes included. feel free to tweak prompts as needed.

you are beautiful, there are none other in the world like you.

you will hear the sea from every corner of the castle. after enough time, you will not hear it at all.

we will have to observe the rite of first blood, they will not respect my power otherwise.

my lust for blood will be rewarded.

you will have your rubies, and i will have what is mine.

how long has this castle stood?

every soil has its evils.

she has not saved herself. she has only given herself a different death.

the lord has placed my life in your hands.

will the lord not ask to see their corpses? proof of their blood?

i will have to strike my own near-death blow.

you will have to press harder than you think.

violence is like a coin. if you spend it easily, people will think you imprudent and reckless.

sometimes no words are as eloquent as the spilling of blood.

you nearly dishonored me with that letter.

you will not lie to me, you are my lady wife.

i will never harm you, my lord, i swear it.

my father would never betray an ally or broker a false peace.

now you are the dagger in my hand.

whatever he has done, it is not worth this.

tell me of her. the wife who came before.

why dishonor yourself for my sake? why risk your birthright?

i do not wish to see you live without shelter.

the crown is not mine to lose.

i did not hesitate; i do not regret. 

it is the way of the world, violence.

every man says, when he first kills another: i did not know there would be so much blood.

are you deaf and cannot hear screams in the night?

what will you do with me? slit my throat in your bed?

you are of no use to me dead.

i promised you protection from him. i will not relinquish that vow.

a clever way to say you think me dishonorable.

i will do better. i will not displease you. i will not disgrace you.

these matters are below the concern of a queen.

what is the state of your honor now?

you have no leave to speak to me of honor.

if you say i have no honor, i have no honor left to lose.

it is my trophy, my treasure, mine, mine, mine.

did you think you could beat me as you did, and face me no recompense?

was it worth it, your vengeance? 

i feel no satisfaction while you still draw breath.

were you merely stitching me into some great tapestry of deception?

but i do not think you deserve to be shown such mercy.

you will not speak now, you will listen.

i see now that this treachery was following closely behind me, like a shadow.

this old wound of yours, i do not forget it.

love is not as easy to smother as the rest.

these are not the actions of a king.

i thought you might help devise a punishment.

what makes you cringe from me now?

i will not let harm come to you.

a queen does not forsake her people.

has something happened to displease you?

you carry the prince’s monstrous spawn.

please, you cannot believe him. it is not true.

i do not deserve it. i should stay here, after all.

you have again given me a good chance to prove my honor.

if you are to show yourself, perhaps it should not be all of yourself.

[stars-interlude]

Even a worm will turn

a/n: YAYYYY FINALL PART (dw all 3 parts are on here so it’s the full story) ngl xiao is kinda a bully at the end of this 😭

pairings: prince!xiao X princess!reader

Tags: medieval, Fem!reader, oral fem receiving, dom to sub reader

symbiosis; having an arranged marriage was something you’ve been dreading for years as a princess then you see the man your supposed to make new heirs with and could he really be that bad?

It was a bitter day for the bride as you stood next to your soon-be husband. You could feel her father's glare burning on your back, a sharp reminder of the fate that was chosen for you. The prince seemed like a handsome man, but it was all too easy to see the anguish in his heart, like a storm brewing far on the horizon. As the tension in the air rises you couldn’t help but feel like you were about to be pushed off a cliff by your father after your vows were exchnaged. Falling into a deep darkness “Xiao do you take [name] as your wife to live together in holy matrimony to love her, honor her, comfort her, and to keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all other, for as long as you both shall live?” Xiao responded swiftly “I do” the Notary soon said the somewhat similar words to you but none of it really mattered because you never loved Xiao.. Soon after the Wedding you talk to your father “I never wanted to do this! tell me why father, why did i have to marry this prince?!” “My dear do not fret you will not be in this God forsaken marriage for long, we just need you to make the prince open up and while your in his kingdom you’ll get his father’s warfare plans and we can destroy their kingdom.” When you heard this plan come out your father’s mouth you were in a way shocked. Not only were you allies with this kingdom so it made no sense why your father would try to hurt them but looking at the riches and power in the palm of your hand was just… you were thinking of a word.. It was just exhilarating.

———————————————————————

Of course you agreed to your father but this plan was easier said than done. “Oh Xiao shall we go to your kingdom? I would love to see the customs there” First you had to find a reason to be in your husband’s palace in the first place. “Hm.. It doesn’t take much long just a few hours or so. So I don’t see why not.” Packing your stuff with Xiao was quite easy you only brought a few changes of clothes, a night gown and undergarments of course. As you stepped in the carriage with your husband you thought of your mother she taught you many things like how to cook some foods and many other things but your favorite food thing she taught you was common phrases “Even a worm will turn. It’s an expression used to convey the message that even the meekest or most docile of creatures will retaliate or seek revenge if pushed too far. Now if someone pushes you, you can always tell me and i’ll have them dealt with.” Your mother kissed your forehead and went back to showing you how to cook. The carriage came to a sudden stop, you were so engrossed in thought that it made you forget about how long this trip was supposed to take. “Darling shall we go?” Xiao asked “we shall” you chuckled to yourself. Xiao then helped you out as you took his hand and looked into his eyes you felt something spark within but you didn’t know what it was. Was it love.. No it can’t be. you thought to yourself.

———————————————————————

When you went into the palace of Xiao’s kingdom it was as luxurious as you thought it would be. Artwork on the walls it was anything you could’ve dreamed of. “This will be your room” Xiao then showed you a beautiful bedroom “wouldn’t we be sleeping together?” Xiao’s cheeks turned a bright pink “well i suppose so” you put on a smile and gave Xiao a kiss on the cheek making him more flustered than he already was. “We are married after all” after you got into your night gown you saw xiao and he looked better than you thought his hair falling on his face beautifully and the pajamas he was wearing fit just right. “Xiao.. you look perfect” he looked at you like you said something out the ordinary “As do you..?” He said this more like a question than a statement. You then walked closer to him “well yesterday was our wedding night but we didn’t do much how about you make it up to me.. what do you think hun?”

———————————————————————

you walked closer to you husband then you already were, then you pulled him into a deep kiss as the kiss got deeper he pulled you into his lap. you could feel his cock getting harder under your cunt as you two kissed n’ grinded, he placed his hands on your hips “getting bold, are we?” you said after feeling his hands. he kissed down your neck and his hand slowly moved up your nightgown feeling your chest and pulling at your nipples. you let out a soft moan “xiao..” Xiao's lips curved into a smirk as he heard you moan his name. He continued placing kisses down your neck, his hands roaming your body "You like that?" he whispered against your skin, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine. “mhmm love it” you could feel yourself slipping away from your dominant attitude. “you always act so tough, i know you’re soft on the inside” Xiao said this as he gripped your hips tighter enough to bruise later. He picked you up bridal style and placed you on the bed you two were supposed to share for the night. instead of his hands going up your body he goes down and hooks his finger on the band of your panties, he looks at you before he goes and feels your cunt “so wet from just kissing? how dirty..” you let out a soft whimper “you had so much to say, what happened where’d that bold attitude go?” xiao then pulled down your panties “ ‘m not dirty!” he slipped two fingers in your cunt “if you weren’t dirty you wouldn’t be moving your hips when i thrust my fingers in you” you didn’t even notice that you were moving. you quickly covered your face after he said that. Xiao pulled out his fingers and you felt empty until you felt his breath on your cunt, he kissed your clit before he started fingering your pussy. you gripped onto xiao’s hair cause of the waves of pleasure going through your body. Maybe your father’s plan could wait a little longer..

a/n: i felt like i should quickly finish this before i start doing all the requests i got WHICH IM SOOO HAPPY ABTT TYY FOR ALL OF THEMMMMM

[datvtranscripts]

Signs and Portents Deleted Dialogue

Shadows Crossing

Dialogue is sorted in scene order to the best of my ability.

Signs and Portents Masterpost About Deleted Dialogue

—

Bellara: Whole lot of blood magic during the war.

—

Rook: I bet this is usually a nice view.

—

Harding: I think we can get in over here.

Rook: Harding, you sure you're up for this? Harding: I'm fine. I need to get back in the fight.

Rook: Neve, you sure you're up for this? Neve: I'm fine. Couldn't sit still much longer.

Rook: Then let's go.

—

Rook: We have to get rid of this blight.

—

Rook: This is a nasty mess. Gotta get through here.

Neve: Try smashing it.

—

Harding: He's stuck in some sort of mental loop. We don't even exist to him.

—

Bellara: What would the mayor want with Veil Jumpers?

—

Harding: What is this?

Bellara: Something came out of there.

Neve: Something big.

—

Bellara: A sinkhole. But how?

Neve: This has to be Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain's doing.

Rook: Careful. One slip, and there's no telling where you'll end up.

Harding: The Deep Roads, probably.

—

Harding: A lot of darkspawn down there.

Bellara: And now they've got a way out.

—

Bellara: Creators…

Rook: What have you done?

Villager 5: Must bring everyone here. Villager 6: Must lock them up. Villager 7: To witness the glory of her new creation.

Harding: Her? Is he talking about Ghilan'nain?

—

Neve: That sounds like it could be Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain.

—

Neve: They gathered the villagers here to be blighted. Easy fodder for a sacrifice.

—

Rook: (Groans) This is awful.

Bellara: Ugh, it can't be real.

—

Villager: Help!

Neve: You hear that?

Rook: Someone's in trouble.

—

Bellara: That roar we heard…

Rook: I know. Trying not to think about it.

—

Neve: Another Veil Jumper?

—

Bellara: But those are the missing Veil Jumpers.

Rook: Not anymore. We need to find whoever's calling for help.

—

Villager: Help!

Rook: There it is again.

Neve: At least someone's in their right mind.

—

Mayor Julius: Over here! Help!

—

Harding: Look, a dragon!

—

Rook: We don't kill people, not like this. The gods are the murderers.

—

Please… don't. I'm sorry.

—

Mayor Julius: You think you're immune to this? The power they promised me—it's irresistible. You won't do any better!

—

Elgar'nan: Their wills are fragile. Witness how they forsake their own.

Ghilan'nain: They value prestige. Petty comforts. Easily swayed by gold.

—

Ghilan'nain: Much has changed.

Elgar'nan: Our empire. Our legacy. Vanished, like breath in air. What they call the blight raised us once. It can restore what was lost.

Ghilan'nain: The blight is faint. Locked away from this world by the Dread Wolf.

Elgar'nan: We are the Firstborn. Nothing is beyond our reach. We shall work wonders again.

[blues824]

✨️Hello✨️

I believe you know what I'm requesting :)) anyways

Happy new year!!

Hell yes I do. A marriage proposal from Sebek.

Gender-neutral reader

Sebek Zigvolt

What was the point of elaborate plans if you could ruin them so easily because of an impulse? An inescapable urge? An act that was done despite having such an elaborate plan.

He had an entire plan to ask you to be his for eternity. To ask you to grow old alongside him. To ask you to be the person he returns home to when he places down the mantle of guard and soldier to take up the mantle of ‘husband’.

Yes, he was going to propose.

A picnic in the woods, fairy-lights strung up to make the scene feel a bit more romantic. This was all with both Lilia, Silver, and even Waka-sama’s help. He would have wined and dined you, reciting a poem he had carefully crafted, before pulling out the ring at the end, getting on his knee, and asking if you would marry him.

Why did you have to be the way that you are?

It was so hard yet so easy to just coexist with you. He could be his true self around you. You’ve even picked up his favorite book so that conversation would never cease between the two of you. However, it made him nervous that he could mess it all up at any given point.

This was his first time in a relationship, and it was serious. I mean, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, if you would have him. He wanted to make sure that the moment was perfect, tailored to both you and him.

However, it was on the way there where he popped the question. He was leading you by your hand when you made a joke. It was a simple joke about how you’ve blindly trusted everyone since you came to Twisted Wonderland, and he opened his mouth before he could think about it.

“If you marry me, then you won’t be trusting blindly anymore. Not if I can help it,” He didn’t register what he said until you stopped in your tracks.

“Is that an official proposal, Sebek Zigvolt?” You asked quietly. That’s when it hit him like a punch to the face.

“W-Would you want it to be?” Since when did he start stuttering? He was really messing this up. However, as you looked into his eyes with nothing but pure love and adoration, he found himself losing the embarrassment.

“...Yes, I would,” You said, going to wrap your arms around him, but he pushed you away a little. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, kneeling down on the ground and looking up to you as he opened the box up to reveal a ring.

Tears welled up in your eyes, a few slipping down, a smile gracing your lips. You could tell that Sebek was nervous with how he had tears in his eyes as well.

“Y/N, I originally intended to serenade you with a poem that I had created for you, as well as lead you to a picnic date that I had assistance in assembling. However, it seems as though you know how to break me down and make me toss away any plans. Which is why I am asking you now. Will you marry me?”

A brief moment of silence took over… even the birds went quiet. Sebek’s heart was pounding against his ribcage, waiting for your answer. Then, you nodded your head, reaching your hand out to him as he slipped the ring onto your finger.

“I’m sorry I ruined your plans, darling,” You giggled through sobs, finally being able to wrap your arms around his neck as he stood up. His hands went to your waist.

“For you, I would gladly forsake every plan and itinerary just to be with you, for your presence is the most enchanting destination I could ever hope to reach,” The emotions were too much for you, so you just pulled him into a kiss, hoping to convey all those unsaid emotions. He seemed to get the message, leaning forward as he kissed you back to put you in a small dip.

Both of you were excited to see what fate had in store for you next.

[ceausescue]

finished the apocalypse of herschel schoen. really really good, if i hadn't finished it yesterday it would have been the best scifi i read in 2024

so i don't know how much i think really happened. some general notes-

i think we ought to take our understanding of how the machine intelligence works to be basically correct. whether it actually came from optic cybernetic approximation machines or from some mundane llm-like technique, we should believe that santa really did come from some large multi-modal predictive model of some kind

and so going with that, to whatever extent anything in the story is in a "simulation", it isn't a simulation the way we normally think of it, but the natural processes of santa himself. if it is an ancestor simulation, its really more like santa's memory of its ancestors, or santa thinking about its ancestors. if the miriam that writes the redactor's addendums is a simulation (which has the right vibe, i think), then she is an aspect of santa which is considering what miriam would do. or, even better, she is an aspect of santa pretending to be miriam, possibly getting really into character

if so, i think it is a lie. i think santa is like miriam (or vis versa), choosing to look away from what it had done. it feels guilty! and now it's looking to forget. the emendation is to its own memory. but because it wishes to realize all possible things, and is presumably proclus-paperclipping the universe to do that better, that's almost as good as changing the actual past. perhaps there was a real, historical herschel schoen known to santa by his writings, or perhaps he was entirely an invention to serve the purpose asked of him. it's possible either way that the being which is herschel schoen really is some sub thread of santa as a whole pretending to be herschel- putting on herschel's clothes in a profound and total way. if so, his memories of the original reality could be bastardized versions of real memories, which would give his whole deal a sort of ring of truth. obviously that also diminishes the extent to which he could be considered a human giving a verdict as a human, but i think that's sort of the horror of it- humanity lives on in a certain way but absolutely not in any way we can endorse without hesitation

HOWEVER as much as i like the interpretation i also can't ignore that floornight and almost nowhere are both about the strange things that the bootstrap paradox does to the measure 0 subset of reality where god is still in the process of instantiating himself. so like maybe the time travel is real. frankly that explains a lot of the timeline weirdness anyway, if there's tinkering going on to have made the ascent of the machines ethical somehow. that meshes well with what i think of as one of the more interesting aspects of the story- the strange (or perhaps not so strange) values of santa. he wouldn't care to have gained power earlier or unassailably, but orchestrating it so that they could have had some sort of permission totally fits

some things i still don't get but really like:

what the fuck is going on with vincents philosophy, like what's [...[...[]]]

what's going on with how he behaves towards miriam at the end? seems clear that the whole forsaking the flesh thing isn't really an explicit teaching of his

what's going on with ruth?

what on earth is going on with frederick? it's easy to say that he's there to teach herschel about cybernesis, but all that stuff with his dad was weirdly personal. maybe santa retains more sentiment then we might think, and eggert was at least similar to its creator?

what's the vibe on pattern matching? is it good? is it an evil virus of satan? could go either way!

should any of this be considered at all? is the text more mystical than i give it credit for?

some things the book did to me:

after finishing i stared at my dog for maybe 10 minutes trying to figure out if i had an obligation to try and teach her what languages, or art are

somehow i went to bed convinced that I had to go into ai, specifically capabilities, and fell asleep trying to come up with a plan to make that happen

[justanotherbirdbrain-blog]

A Guide to Geological Discoveries in your Fictional World

Let's learn how to write a realistic way of discovering geology in your world, (whether it be for mining, discovering your world 'origin' story, some religious undertones, or for whatever your worldbuilding purposes) by looking back into the past at how modern geology was initially discovered.

**I am mostly going to format this as a story with interjections of how this relates to plot and character. I think this concept is very important, if only that it talks about concepts that we might find as 'common knowledge' today, and realize they were major discoveries in a more historic setting.

Today we will talk about a name that is held in high esteem in many a geology household, James Hutton. The father of modern geology.

*Disclaimer: I am going to be disrespectful to him, but I promise it is with a heart full of love that I do so.*

Lets set the stage, James was alive from 1726-1797 in Scotland. At this time, the church was everything. So geology was a little... might I say, sacrilege? *gasp*

Anyway, what made this man begin to think about the rocks around him? Easy, he knocked up a girl and got banished to his family's farm and while farming he watched his soil wash away every year, and James thought "What the hell is up with that God?"

So being a religious man he thought to himself... Well God definitely wouldn't forsake us, so the Earth which he created must function around a system! Where some areas are washed away, and eventually get deposited creating new land!

Wow! for a (granted educated man) but still a guy on a farm to come up with geology just so that he could reconcile his religion? Crazy impressive.

*Now do your characters need to start thinking of geology in that way? No. BUT! I think it is important to put your character into a situation where they are experiencing geology. I think geology concepts are hard to imagine locked away behind books and in a lab. That is something to really keep in mind while developing a character who might imagine something about geology.*

* I also think it is important that IF you have a religion or gods in your world, you can reconcile geology the same way this man did.*

Now, this realization might not seem very crazy to us, but it is. Why? Because of the amount of time it would take to create landmasses. Hutton understood that this would mean the Earth is older than what was taught at the time (~6,000 years), DARWIN WASN'T BORN YET. Buddy was really out there fighting on his own, but your characters don't have to, pairing geology and evolution is a smart choice because both concepts build on each other.

How can this be relevant to your fantastical plot though? Proof to take down an evil church (you would need more facts than just this but that is the job of some other characters). A creation myth of your continent. Someone literally as old as dirt. Deep time topics like magical creature evolution or something like that.

This was just Hutton's first idea he came up with but he knew ALL rocks weren't sedimentary rocks (rocks made on the surface from dirt and other rocks), so he knew there must be more ways rocks formed.

His second idea he came up with while hearing about an incident at a glass bottle factory (the furnace stayed on and the glass cooled slowly and they formed crystals).

Volcanism was known to happen. The fast cooling igneous rocks could be observed forming (though I'm not sure if they actually knew at this time or not and I refuse to google it) and thus COULD be known to come from molten rocks, but coarse-grained igneous rocks (granite) were thought at the time to be created by God himself (obviously, this is going to be a problem in the future).

Hutton hearing about to bottles had a brain blast, and was like "OMG granite used to be molten!"

If geology is relatively established in your world, this is the idea a lab rat could DEFINITELY have. But a really important question you might be having at this point is "What can I use this information for? How is this relevant to my plot?"... well I am sure you can come up with better reasons then little ole bird here, but I might use this for decoding a mystery of magic crystal formation, again some origin myth, or event as a way to hint towards an upcoming natural disaster.

Anyway, Hutton's friends around this time were like "You should totally present this to people! Everyone will totally believe you!"

(Everyone did not believe him and they told him he was a pagan and that REALLY upset Hutton)

I think this is really important to mention. People DIDN'T believe Hutton. Your character will have an uphill battle and will have to prove themselves time and time again.

What did Hutton do though? He got on his horse (literally) and he found granite that had been injected into another rock before hardening. As in, he found granite behaving as a liquid (He shut up the haters).

After Hutton (and after Kelvin, fuck that guy, he set geology back so many years as a science he can rot in hell), geology was cool, people began studying it more, trying to understand the ages and relationships of rocks, we were all having a good time until we hit this really hard to swallow concept... Ice Ages....

And then a side of continental drift and plate tectonics which apparently! made a guy have literal mental breakdown when he thought of giant sheets of rock moving. Which I mean like... fair enough. But I won't go into this topics as much because they carry the same concept as what Hutton experienced which is:

Science is very 'need to see it to believe it' and back before we had a great grasp on geophysical and geochemical tools geologists utilize today, there wasn't a lot of ways to observe geology other than "boy doesn't it kind of look like this other thing I have observed? Maybe that's because they are kinda related."

**Anyway, I tried to keep this one short because there was only a couple points I wanted to drive home and the rest I was just bein' funny. This post really is building off two other guides I wrote about 'mining', and 'economy and trade'. So if there is anything you need expanded on I do recommend those guides. And as always, if you have any specific questions I can happily answer them!

**Most of this info came from a docu-series called "Men of Rock", it's a good series and I highly recommend it for non-geo and geo people alike. I re-watch it at least once a year just to feel something. (it's on youtube)

[illumiera]

in my 'verse, seekers were once humans. they were humans who entered apocrypha in search of secrets, answers, knowledge, forbidden lore; humans who lost hope of escape over the years and decades and centuries and so began to madden and change into something other. miraak has encountered many such people, seen this transformation happen many times. from i fear no fate (for you are my fate):

In the beginning, which he knows is a meaningless phrase in a realm outside of time, he’d try to speak with them, to learn all he could of their world, to remind them of their names when they began to slip through their fingers like windblown paper, to calm them when they realised that their pursuits had led them to forsake life and death and love and valour and fame and joy and—and everything, everything. Now, he is careful to ignore them, refusing to watch the inevitable progression: single-minded determination to escape, then unanswered pleas for mercy, then a blank-eyed stare that never falters, not even as their bodies twist into nightmares made real.

but in between trying to speak with them and determinedly ignoring them, i think he saw the inevitable beginning to unfold and took to giving them mercy, in his own way. watch someone lose their mind and become his own worst nightmare (for miraak himself wasn't sure how much longer he had; ever since herma-mora took all of his memories of nirn, he had such a short supply of hope), or grant them a quick end with his sword-arm? it was an easy choice for him to make.

mora would not have been pleased with him. there was payback of a sort, i think.

and then, in the fourth era, miraak meets elentari, and to him, things can only go one of two ways. either he kills her and escapes apocrypha with the power of her soul, or she kills him and becomes mora's champion, and maybe she rebels and is forced into bargaining away her memories as he was, maybe she becomes something eldritch and terrible.

"I will not let it hurt when I give you your end,” he murmurs, “and nor will I let you be forgotten.” A gloved hand comes up as though to brush back a stray lock of her hair, but he quells the impulse and lets it drop slowly, reluctantly, to his side. “I do not desire your death, mal dovahdin. It is a necessity of fate, and I will not prolong it any more than I must.” So this is his idea of mercy, Elentari thinks: through desperation or madness or some stark combination of both, he has resolved that he must kill her—but promises to make it painless.

so when he's trying to kill her, that really is his version of mercy. it's the kindest thing he can do for her, this brave, determined dragonborn who has attracted the attentions of a daedric prince against her will.

and when elentari has absolutely none of that and decides that she'll save him, and when she restores his memories of nirn to him and implores him to escape apocrypha with her, that's her version of mercy. it's the kindest thing she can do for him, this trapped, desperate dragonborn who has spent four eras of the world without any memory of the sky, the stars, the smell of spring.

[screamingforjuice]

The Art of Hate

This is also posted on AO3!@screamingforjuice

Story line is Crosshair/Jedi! Reader with a smidge of Rex/Jedi! Reader

Gonna try to keep it under 10 parts but that usually doesn’t happen 🧍‍♀️

That classic enemies to lovers (lemme cook) 🕺

There is also some warnings including: Violence, Language, and Explicit content (18+)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter One- A Quell of Hate

In any scenario, this would never have been what you expected. Where the galaxy was once peaceful, ranging from trade federations and civil duties, a General was not a title you expected to have bestowed. War was ugly, in any situation. It took and took until there was nothing left to take, drowning out anything worth gazing upon with a gentle eye. It festered, like a plague, feeding people fear and anger. How was war not considered hypocrisy? If you pledged yourself a peacekeeper, would that not mean that you should be uninvolved? That you too would be a hypocrite of a broken system?

Or, did that mean you should be, no matter the cost? If you're told to keep the peace, would that mean putting down your morals for the greater good of the galaxy? The greater good of the people? Innocents, men, women and children, dying at the hand of tyrants for political gain. Would that not be justifiable in the use of necessary force? Hate was a strong word, one you'd never use if you couldn't help it. But hating what your life had become was a valid excuse for using the word. You could hate what you had to do, what was expected of you, but never another. No, hate could not be bore on another life, for that was inexcusable.

All beings should be suited for forgiveness, no matter the cost of their actions. Even if it tore you up from the inside out, personal vendetta's were sin. To sin against the Order would mean personal treason; it would mean forsaking the oath you took. But hate was powerful, even if it led you down a damaged path. We were all heading down a path we should not follow, but who would admit to that? Who had the power to say it was right or wrong? We were no Gods, no creators that placed the life in droplets to the galaxy.

No. We were keepers of the peace. A peace that's time was up.

•~~•~~•

The cold and gleaming walls of the Venator seemed so fascinating at one point. Now, they only reminded those who walked among them that they were anything but that. I never much cared for the lavish expenditures the Senate tried to force onto the Jedi, I was merely doing my duty the Order placed me into. Commanding such a vast ship with so many men that were willing to fight and die for the Republic was never an easy thought to get past. Death and destruction was avoidable, it always was, but we chose this, didn't we.

The sound of the turbo lift reaching the corridor I stood in rang in my ears, the gentle whirring coming to a stop as the door slid open with a 'hiss'. My boots thudded gently against the durasteel floor as I took my place inside of the turbo lift, my gloved hands folding behind my back. I only assumed there were more issues for me to attend to, issues only 'I' could right. Commander Jax met me on the bridge, saluting me as I passed by, giving him a soft dip of my chin in turn, "General. The blockade was weakened, but we still haven't broken through. Your orders?" Jax spoke, falling into step with me as we neared the holotable.

The holo table lit up with said blockade over the planet of Jarium, little pin points and dashes drawing out where the blockade was weakened or still stood. I crossed my arms over my chest, my head tilting slightly as I squinted at the picture. Half of the time, I had no idea how to create a battle plan or mark our formations, I was a Jedi, not a war hero. I pointed to the eastern point of the blockade, "And what of the round about? Instead of head on, we come up from under them?" Jax looked at me, and then to where my finger pointed to. He was very opinionated, he would put me in my place ten times over if he had to.

In his three years under my command, challenged me more times than he actually just listened and followed orders. "With all due respect, General, we simply do not have the man power to elicit such an attack. We'd be going in blind," He countered, shaking his head gently. This was one of those instances where I didn't really have any better plan of action, other than to confer with the Council. "What option do we have, Jax? This blockade needs to be broken through within the next rotation or we lose the planet," I argued, my hands resting on my hips as I turned to face him.

He gave me a look, and then uncounted silence. I couldn't help but worry, he never had nothing to say, never didn't have an argument on the tip of his tongue. I realized his silence wasn't because of not knowing, but because he had a plan I would not like. My brows furrowed as I watched him turn towards the holo again, his lips setting into a firm line. I wished the misconceptions about Jedi being able to read minds was true, because I would've done so to Jax a million times already. I disliked his silence, he was always stewing inside of his constantly working brain.

Finally, he let out a breath before looking to me, "You know who we should be calling in, General.." I frowned, yes, I knew immediately who he was referring to. Not that I had an issue with the group whatsoever, just one of them in particular. The question was, did I want to be undermined by a group of hotheaded defective Clones? I couldn't refuse, I knew we were in trouble, and our best bet was an inside mission, and my men were not suited for such. I waved a hand at him, a silent begrudging approval. Jax didn't seem to be so pleased with his own idea, but him and I both knew it was our best bet.

I stood silently as I looked out the view port, down at Jarium as we hovered over the planet. I was sure we would be successful with our called in help, but my pride would be severely wounded. It was only an hour or so before a proximity alarm rang out, a modified Omicron-class attack shuttle puffing out of the endless void from hyperspace, hissing down towards the planet below. The group of misfits had arrived.

•~~•~~•

Orders. How was it so hard to follow simple orders. The mission was completed, and swiftly, but at the cost of more resources than I intended using. Jax stood beside me in the hangar bay, a bead of sweat forming on his lip. Jarium was recovered, and while the Senate and Council were pleased, I was not. Jax was aware of that, and begged me not to blow my lid. How could I not? They blew a whole through half of the city, damaging a city I was in charge to ensure safe keeping. The worst part was, I knew exactly who was responsible for this fiasco.

He always found a way in getting under my skin, undermining my authority, and showing the utmost disrespect to me. My jaw tensed further upon watching the five men step down the ramp, walking towards Jax and I. I had to remember that I was only enraged at one of them, not all of them, even though they all had gone off script. I actually was quite fond of the group when they were actually using common sense, but even that seemed to elude the sharpshooter. He met my glare, his helmet tucked under his arm loosely, a lazy smirk attached to his lips.

I never used the word 'hate', but for him, I could make an exception despite my oath. I hated Crosshair, loathed him with every fiber in my being. Hunter had told me long ago to not let him get under my skin, but time and time again he never failed to royally piss me off. Wrecker beamed at me, waving excitedly to greet me to which I couldn't help but let my lips twitch at. I sighed in silent defeat, turning my attention away from the sharpshooter to the rest of the squad, "Looks like you guys saved the day. Once again," I spoke, crossing my arms loosely as I brought my attention to Hunter. He gave me a soft shrug of his shoulders, his lips quirking up slightly, "Just doing our duty, General."

"Any excuse to blow things up!" Wrecker cut in, causing Hunter to let out a sigh. Tech looked up from his data pad briefly, "'Blowing things up' was not part of the mission, Wrecker. We were explicitly told not to—" "Why does it matter?" Crosshair growled out, stepping towards us. He still gave me that condescending look, as if challenging me to bite back, "We completed the mission, as the General asked us to." My finger nails dug into the palms of my hands, my body growing hot with rage once again. Jax cleared his throat from beside me, trying to break up the inevitable argument from ensuing.

I huffed, squinting up at Crosshair through my glare, "You completed it on your own volition," He let out a grunt of annoyance, his lips curling into a sneer, but Echo pushed him back, shaking his head. Hunter gave me a look, to which it meant a silent plea to not feed into his argumentative behavior. I turned my gaze to Hunter, "And you blew a hole through the city. I asked for a quiet infiltration of the blockade, not bombs." I finished, crossing my arms over my chest in disappointment. Hunter merely scratched the back of his neck, "Sorry about that, General. Things got a bit out of hand and we got carried away."

"Carried away?" I blurted, giving him an incredulous look, "There are civilians down there with no homes now!" "Then why call us in if you wanted it done differently?" Crosshair snapped, shoving past Echo, "We got it done. Why complain about how it was completed," I gritted my teeth together, shoving my finger in his chest, "Complain?! I gave you orders. It would do you well to learn how to follow them." He swatted my hand away, as if he was offended that I even got remotely close to touching him. Tension was high between the squad and I, which wasn't necessarily a rare occurrence. I don't know what I expected, I should've known better.

"Maybe you should get out on the frontlines for once instead of picking everyone else to fight your battles, Jedi," He bit back, his tone dripping with venom. There was the disrespect to my authority. If he called me by my rank, it was out of sarcasm, but most of the time, he only ever referred to me as what I was. Hunter came between us, pushing Crosshair back from me while Jax grabbed hold of my bicep, tugging me back from him, "General.. Let's just get the debriefing over with," Jax muttered to me quietly, to which I pulled my arm from his grasp and turned on my heel, leaving the hangar bay.

No one was happier than me to see the Batch Crosshair leave. I was frustrated beyond belief from that stunt they pulled, but couldn't help but blame myself partly. I had given the approval to allow Clone Force 99 into the mission, which I never should have in all honestly. While I cared for the group of clones, I simply could not handle my temper with the sharpshooter. I forgot how our silent shared hatred for one another even started, but I knew I had every reason to feel the way I did. I was generally a pretty carefree, unorthodox and overall easygoing person. Where this unexplainable rage came from when I was around him was unlike me.

Maybe if he had been more compliant, I wouldn't have to yell at him every time I saw him. Of course, he would never allow himself to 'bow down at my feet' as he so says. He respected everyone else, but me. Even Anakin, and Anakin had more of a temper when things weren't going his way. I had thought for a long time that he acted the way he did because he hated being told what to do by a woman, but that wasn't the case either. In fact, he was a gentleman to every other woman except me.

I did face repercussions despite the win on Jarium due to what had happened with the city. I see now that if I wanted something done, I should just do it myself. But time passes slowly when you're in the depths of endless space with nothing to do other than look over the bridge. Recent talks of the war coming to a close had been getting louder, which had only ensued more chaos. I didn't think the rumors were true, no, they couldn't be when I was standing in a war vessel traveling through hyperspace to yet another Separatist inhabited planet.

•~~•~~•

The gala hall was incredibly packed, the bodies of elegant jewels and drinks was an endless sea. I stood out from their flashy colors of silk and tulle, my bland black robes a woolen material. I didn't care much for the clothing, nor what I looked like. No one cares who you are when you're merely there to oversee the security for an event. Anakin and Rex were floating around somewhere, which is why I was sent as well to actually keep my eyes open. If Padmè Amidala was in the room, Anakin was right beside her. And wherever Anakin was, Obi-Wan wasn't far behind. Jax was at the forefront of the hall, checking for weapons as anyone entered.

For Clone Force 99's stunt on Jarium two months ago, I had them assigned to guard duty. Wrecker complained about not being able to blow anything up, Tech didn't really seem to care, in which he never does. Hunter and Echo simply did as they were told, a mission was a mission regardless. The sharpshooter, however, wasn't in sight. I expected that, of course, he liked to keep a distance from everything, his enhanced eye sight giving him the ability to do so. I was fine with him being out of my sight and as far away as possible, an argument would only ensue.

My fingers crinkled within my gloves, the warmth of the hall creating a light sweat on my heavily covered body. I preferred sweating only if I was actually doing something, not standing around. A security detail was not the best use of my skills in anyway, except for in Crosshair's words, 'I only ever stood around and did nothing anyway'. I almost scoffed aloud at my thoughts, my gaze once again flickering over the crowd of rich people and Senators. I lost track of how long I'd actually been standing there, the hours seeming to tick by so slowly.

"You're looking a little wary, General," A gravelly voice broke out over the comm link on my left forearm. My jaw tensed, my clasped hands only growing tighter. He was watching me instead of surveying the area, like he was told. I don't even know why I bothered trying to tell him what to do, it wasn't like he would listen anyway. I unfolded my hands, turning slightly before I tapped my finger to the channel button, "Use your eyes for something useful, would you?" I didn't hear anything for a moment, probably because he was basking in knowing I couldn't see him.

"So angry already? I haven't even done anything yet," He replied, a hint of condescension in his tone. He was willing to enrage me in any scenario, and why? Probably some deranged part of his brain that likes being an asshole for fun. "It makes me uncomfortable, stop looking at me," I muttered, my gaze slowly traveling around to pinpoint his location. Again, Jedi misconceptions foretold that we could also find anyone, anywhere. Lie, I could feel him, but only because we were in the same vicinity. Nothing again for a moment again, but I could practically feel his stewing going on.

It almost seemed like he didn't have a response for me, which surprised me. I was woefully wrong. "Uncomfortable? Then I will continue to do so, General," He responded after the pregnant silence, his tone deep and raspy, almost as if he were to be obeying an order. The warmth of the hall didn't help with his response, my face heating out of annoyance and discomfort. Why was it that he couldn't leave me be? I didn't understand how his mind worked in any way. He either teased me, argued with me, or gave me a simple glare. I tried not to feed into it, like Hunter suggested, but Crosshair was a force to be challenged.

"Piss off," I hissed out quietly, leaving my spot on the wall to make a round around the hall. He was enjoying this, only further proving that he was the most defective one in his squad. To be fair, our 'game' was quite childish, but he started it. Just like he was starting it now. "That language doesn't belong on your lips, Jedi," He growled out. I ignored that comment, silently making my rounds. My gaze landed on Rex, and I gave him a silent dip on my chin, acknowledging him.

Besides Jax, Rex was probably one of my favorite troopers. He was respectful, a gentleman, and attentive. There was no boredom where Rex was concerned, regardless of his professionalism. "General," He greeted, giving me a quick salute. I smiled softly, "Rex. Fun night, hm? I hope you're not too bored without all the blaster fire." He chuckled softly in response and I stepped in to stand at his side. "It's nothing like the field, Sir.. A change of pace is nice every so often," He spoke, glancing over to me. I nodded, looking around before leaning in to speak quietly, "I think these events are bantha dung. Too many politicians in one place."

Rex shrugged and glanced sideways at me with a slight smirk, "Not much for parties, General?" I shook my head, "Absolutely not. And this seems to be a terrible combination." Politicians and parties were a great way to get a quick headache, unless you were me and had a snappy sharpshooter to worry about. Rex and I chatted for the better part of the rest of the hour before I moved on, ignoring the burning gaze in the back of my head. "Have a good chat?" He snapped, and I cupped my hand over the comm. I steered around a column, putting it up to my mouth, "Seriously? What is your deal?"

Silence, a long silence actually. I didn't make the same mistake as last time and doubt a response from him. "Apologies, General, you stated that we couldn't get distracted. I was just reminding you," He replied smugly. I shut my eyes and let out a slow breath through my nose, trying to decide on whether or not I wanted to respond to this imbecile. "You do understand a comm link is meant for communicating about the mission, right?" I replied, choosing not to indulge in his nonsense.

"I can use it how I please. If that means riling you up, that's how i'll use it," He responded. Seriously? I scoffed to myself, "Do you usually have a stick up your ass, or were you born with it?" I was done playing his petty back and forth games. If he wanted fire, I would burn him ten times over. "Your mouth is dirty tonight, Jedi. Perhaps it would be better suited for something else," His tone was dark. I could feel the venom in each syllable, but that wasn't what bothered me. His implication was crude in every sense, making my hands sweat more so than they already were.

How was I even supposed to respond, other than with silence? Silence from me would mean backing down, and even if it meant that I was being childish, I didn't care. "You'd be better suited for Gundark food you imbecile," I spat. I didn't hear anything from him after that, and I don't think it was because of my response. I finished out the rest of the long, draining night, idly standing by until the last guests had left. I bid my goodbyes to Anakin and Obi-Wan, Rex as well before I joined back with Jax, leaving to our transport.

The Batch was waiting for us when we arrived, and I avoided eye contact with the sharpshooter. "I hope you all had fun doing nothing," I spoke, folding my hands in front of me. Hunter gave me a small smirk, "It won't happen again, General." I hummed, glancing at the squad as I began to turn away, "Yes.. but I don't believe that," I replied, casting one last glare at the sharpshooter before turning my attention to my transport, Jax and I loading on without further word. I sat quietly as we travelled back to my cruiser, Crosshair's words cycling through my head nonstop. I knew one thing from the entire experience.

I hated him, plain and simple.

•~~•~~•

"Cover me!" A explosion ripped out from beside me just ten meters away, causing me to lose my footing, stumbling a few feet before my stride lengthened. Nothing could ever just be clean cut, not with Clone Force 99 around. I dodged another blaster bolt, swinging my left saber around in a circle. Lintham was cold and unforgiving, the winds causing blaster fire to wipe across the battlefield astray. The 501st and 287th hustled around the field, pushing the blockade. So much for me just standing around and doing nothing, right?

My blades cut through the dusty air, swiping blaster fire away as I continued onward. I remember being told once that I was 'too expensive' to be put on the frontlines, I bet you could guess who said that. My time was precious and more often than not, I spent it in meetings or on the bridge of my cruiser. While I wasn't a negotiator like Obi-Wan, I demanded respect in my composure. I drove my right blade up through the center of a B1 battle droid, swinging it outward as I pulled it away.

It felt good to be out on the field after so long, I didn't get much action anymore. While I didn't mind not being shot at, I didn't appreciate feeling like I was being set aside while everyone else got to do the hard work. Clone Force 99 wasn't in sight, which was okay for me. I didn't need another headache from the unconventional approach to battle. Though, a blue blaster bolt whizzed past my head, hitting a B1 directly in the head, sending it to the ground. I felt my irritation rise, knowing whose shot that was.

It didn't matter than he was the best shot in the Republic, he did that to let me know he was here, watching. I dove forward to avoid another missile, ducking down into a roll. I rolled to a crouching position, surveying my surroundings. "Did you miss me?" A voice crackled over the comm. I rolled my eyes, standing to my feet and tapping the comm button, opening my end of the channel, "No, not really." I spun my blades around once more, deflecting more awry blaster fire. I turned around, sensing another approaching B1, but it was sniped in the side of the head, its head jerking sharply to the right.

"How touching," He responded. I rolled my eyes, "Quit it. I don't need your help." I swung my blades again. "We wouldn't want anything to happen to you, right, princess?" He spoke, his tone sarcastic. I gritted my teeth hard, spinning into a barrel flip, my blades cutting around, severing the head off of another B1. "Must you always be so unprofessional?" I growled out. All I heard was a soft sound of his minimal laughter, further fueling my irritation. He was distracting me when I needed my full focus. It was like he was trying to get me shot— ah, jinxed it.

I let out a pained grunt as a shot grazed the back of my arm, causing me to stumble forward. I didn't bother to check it, swinging my right blade around to deflect more blaster fire. Thankfully, he had nothing to say about it, but one of my men from the 287th came to ensure my health was still well. It was brief but I brushed him off, ignoring the feeling of singed skin. While Crosshair's silence was unexpected, his aid to me didn't cease. He took out the B1 that had hit me. Good, I hoped he felt bad for distracting me in a lethal environment.

The fighting waged on for hours more, but we came out victorious. Our losses weren't too high, and the blockade was wiped. I met with Jax, who pestered me about my wound. I'd get it checked later, I wasn't a high priority, not when there were men who needed serious aid. I sent Jax off to help get our injured off the field, silently making my way to my transport. Among the mess, the Marauder touched down, dust flying up from the ion engines power. I strayed from my path to go and get a word with Hunter.

He met me at the end of the ramp, the others offloading after him. We just exchanged a few words before they decided to set off, but not before asking if I needed a ride back up to my cruiser. I obliged, entering the Marauder whilst everyone got situated in the cockpit. I sat down at the work bench, pulling my left arm across my chest to try and examine my wound. "Looks painful," A voice spoke, causing me to turn my gaze to the source. I sighed, looking away from him and back to my wound, flicking the singed fabric from the sleeve of my robes out of the way.

He didn't seem to bristle at my nonverbal response, shuffling around with something before approaching me. He came to my side, grabbing hold of my shoulder. I narrowed my eyes up at him, "Hey, what—" but a cooling sensation washed over my wound, the burn fading away into a dull ache. He was spraying it with bacta, he was.. being generous? I let him finish, my gaze following him as he walked away to put the spray back into the kit. I frowned, looking away from him. Now, the right thing to do would be to say thank you, for multiple things.

‘Thank you for covering me, thank you for the bacta, but also fuck you for yapping at me in the middle of a shoot out’. I decided against it, silently brooding to myself for not having a response to give. He sat down and silently started pulling apart his sniper, assumably to clean it. I tried to keep myself from watching, but he'd never been so silent before. It was unnerving in a way, how he didn't have something to complain about. It was even more odd that I didn't hate being in the same vicinity as him. I cleared my throat, "Thanks," I spoke weakly.

That gave him pause, but his eyes didn't lift more than the floor. He grunted in response, continuing his task. He was hard to read, always had been. He had this wall put up in his mind that I wouldn't dare knocking on. I could, if I truly wanted to, but I wasn't invasive. I wouldn't go poking around where I didn't belong if I didn't have to. That didn't mean that I wasn't curious, though. What was going through his mind? Why was he the way he was? I knew I'd never know, and that made me anxious.

"How does it feel?" He spoke suddenly. I paused, looking up at him. He didn't look at me, just continued working on his rifle. How did what feel? My wound? My pride? Was he asking a condescending question or was he being genuine? He scoffed, shaking his head, "Never mind." My brows furrowed, he was being genuine. "It's fine. Feels great," I responded. His gaze lifted slightly, his brow quirking at my answer. 'Feels great' probably wasn't a very good answer, but it fell out of my mouth before I could think.

"You distracted me," I spoke once more, pulling my arm over my chest to look at my wound once more. "I know," He responded. No, 'Sorry, General. I know I was being an inconsiderate asshole'? I chose to bite my tongue, dropping my arm. My hands folded in my lap, my fingers curling inside of my gloves. The silence was unsettling, I hated sitting in silence. I think I might've preferred arguing with him instead of this. This felt too docile, too.. domestic. This was unlike him.

Under his cold, nonchalant demeanor, there was a trace of guilt. Did he feel guilty for what happened? It was merely a scratch, even if I was pissed at him for it. I'm a Jedi, I should've been more attentive instead of letting petty words pull be from my objective. He looked anxious despite his focus on the weapon, why? The ship rumbled as it touched down, and I immediately stood, brushing down my robes. Hunter walked back out, opening the ramp for me. I gave him a slight dip of my chin, exiting down the ramp.

I didn't get far before I felt his gaze on me, causing me to stop in my tracks. I didn't turn, simply waiting for whatever snarky comment he'd leave me off with. But he hesitated, and I started to turn. "Get it looked at," He spoke, approaching me slowly. As I fully faced him, his hand came up to move the fabric out of the wound once more. My eyes stared at him in shock, wide in confusion. I didn't have anything to say, which was fine because he spoke for me.

"Until next time, General," He spoke quietly, his gaze flicking up to meet mine before he turned away, loading back onto the Marauder. I stood there in silence as I watched the ships ramp fold up, the ship lift off and out of the hangar bay. He wasn't being sarcastic. He was being genuine.

I didn't know if that concerned me, or enraged me.

•~~•~~•

[redphlox]

Might be a dumb question so you totally don’t have to answer 🙂‍↕️

How do you enjoy characters that have had such tragic ends without getting depressed over it? I think I personally have a hard time, because I think of various scenarios that make me happy, but then just get sad over how it actually went down. And then sometimes I wonder about mischaracterizing characters for the ideas I try to think in my head.

Yes I’m referring specifically to Dabi haha. With how open ended the ending was, I try telling myself he got to hug his family one last time and was able to talk all the things they wanted to like the family said they would (since they/Rei was like I want to talk to you all the time.) And Endeavour. So they told him their plans and everything. But it’s so final when Touya started crying and said “sorry” to Shoto that I’m like, I HOPED they talked more after.

Do you think Touya was then happy after he died? Being able to be with his family again despite knowing he was dying. It’s just sad to think he got what he wanted in the end only to not live long enough to live the rest of his life with them… but I guess he knows they all loved him in the end. Just hurts to like a tragic character haha

Also what do you think of Touya’s thoughts calling Endeavor a coward when E said he was retiring because of the injuries. And that it’s true, only after everything was over. Do you think he got in peace with his dad after like he wanted.

Sorry for the long ask, lol I said you don’t have to answer! But thanks for reading

Specifically for Dabi, the story told us he was dying peacefully, so that helps me accept his ending. There was a foundation for it, too. Basically, like @/class1akids added so eloquently here on one of my answered asks, Touya was being held together by revenge and tethered to this earth like a vengeful spirit. I mean, this was his last dying thought:

"No, I don't want to die, I still have to show my dad what I can do."

Unfinished business? That's a recipe for any ghost haunting, hah.

Even Dr. Ujiko mentions Touya's body wasn't expected to live past a month after waking up from the coma. But what happened when Touya woke up?

He wanted his dad to look at him. And he wanted to apologize to his family. So, he went home, expecting his family to have changed since his death. But what happened when he went home?

Nothing had changed. It was as though his life and death hadn't mattered. Endeavor kept keeping on. So, Touya became Dabi to show Endeavor what he could do. And during the last battle, Dabi was able to show him, and be seen by not only Endeavor but also the whole family (minus Shouto, because at the core of everything, Touya's problem wasn't about Shouto. Shouto didn't wrong him in the way he felt wronged by his mother and siblings) (chapters 388-389)

Dabi felt SEEN by his family. They came to his rescue when all they had ever done (in his perceptive) was ignore a ticking time bomb. And he got an apology. Like I stated in a different ask, Touya got reassurance that he was loved because his family was at his deathbed. He’s a hated criminal now - BUT they’re not abandoning him. They’re facing hell right now because of what he did but they’re not forsaking him or distancing themselves to save themselves from the public’s damnation. They WANT to be with Touya, even if it’ll be difficult. They could have easily left him, deserted him, forsaken him, turned their backs, washed their hands clean of him - much like Hawks and his mother distanced themselves from his father.

But the Todorokis HAVEN’T spurned Touya, and WON’T. That’s what they’re conveying by being at his bedside and telling him they want to talk to him. Nothing he can do can make them stop wanting him. Sure, there might be some resentment and hurt feelings, but that doesn’t negate unconditional love.

And that brought peace to Touya and proved he was loved. Being beside someone during the good times - that's easy. But being by someone's side when the world hates them? That's hard to do, but not for the Todorokis.

In this way, the vengeful spirit that was Dabi got his wish, and he was able to slip way/die peacefully. Per the story. Dying isn't a bad thing. And in 431, we're shown that Touya has a connection with Shouto even after death, and that he's a source of inspiration for Shouto, who has realized that there's more to life than being a hero.

I think that's beautiful for the two brothers. I think that's beautiful for Touya, whose first death was violent and his memory held at a distance because of the family dynamic. It didn't seem like the family talked about him much. But this second death is much more peaceful and his life and death MATTERED. That's all Touya wanted.

Was there more that the author could have expanded on? Yes. Especially with Natsuo. What did Rei discuss with him? What did Fuyumi tell him? Did Touya get a chance to apologize like he wanted to? Who knows!! Lol. But I do think Touya got what he wanted... I do think he was satisfied that he ruined his father's career and that his father came to talk to him, and that his family was at his deathbed. As for the other villain deaths in BNHA, lmao. I just don't think about it. There's nothing good about them. It's handled poorly. But deaths in other media? If the writing is good, I can handle it. Fred dying in HP was devastating for me, but it made sense. The deaths in The Outsiders? Devastating, sad, tragic, but the main character grows from it.

[treevore]

*claps* Now back to your other ocs. Yeah you got me there I was looking at Lothric. However let me tell you my thought process as I was looking at him. It went something like “wow two dark urges and ascended Astarion? That’s gotta be interesting I wonder how that works with two? What’s the dynamic between the three? Did they forsake bhaal to be with Astarion? I gotta ask but while I’m here let me look at all the other ocs…IS THAT A GANGREL?!?” It’s actually crazy how many of my interests align with yours. If I could shake your hand right now I think it would come off. So with that being said I’d like to know more about Lothric and Randy.

- Detective

DETECTIVE ANON I AM KISSING U ON THE MOUTH

YAY LOTHRIC TIMEEEEE

so that originally happened because @transkovsky and i were both talking about our durge runs, and then went "would be fun to put them together" and then that spiraled wildly to the point where lothric is inseparable from myce'la in my mind

which, in their canon (this diverges from a decent amount of pre- and post-game canon) myce'la is the one who is pure dead flesh created bhaalspawn, whereas lothric is a situation much more similar to orin, where living bhaalspawn begat bhaalspawn (in this case, bhaalspawn father raped his mother). myce'la spent a significant percentage of their life in the temple in baldurs gate, whereas lothric didn't even come to baldurs gate until he was around 70, and spent north of a decade as a sex worker before the bhaalspawn murder urges began to rear their bloodthirsty head.

the problem with lothric is he's good at what he sets out to do, in large part because he is EXTREMELY charismatic and attentive to social nuances and performances. the OTHER problem with lothric is, he is a love leech. he feeds off love and affection and legitimacy and if that starts to wane or transfer to someone else, his response is to betray that source of affection. bhaal's love was split three ways and he wasn't getting enough? ally with gortash. gortash sounding like he wants too much power? make a secret secondary pact with the netherbrain itself (this is, in my canon, his warlock patron, as he is a great old one warlock)

both lothric and myce'la were taken out by orin in the tadpole incident, because orin played the two of them off each other. pre-tadpole, lothric and myce'la haaaated each other, and so it was easy for orin to lure myce'la in with the promise of "we'll kill him together, it'll be just us again" and because lothric is arrogant, it was easy to get him alone with "lets celebrate, as you're about to usurp the whelp and put that dog in its rightful place." lothric got taken out first, and while myce'la was playing with his barely-alive body, orin took her out as well

as for bhaal and the temple, things are a bit muddy as to who lothric and myce'la "belong" to, as they'd become astarion's spawn in the interim of time when orin was the champion, but lothric and myce'la did wrest that power back from orin so it's a bit of "not forsaken, but bhaal has to go through custody talks with the vampire ascendant"

AND THEN ALSO RANDY!!!!

so randy's my...i want to say 9th gen, i'm not looking at his sheet, gangrel who was turned during the limp bizkit riot at woodstock (in game canon it happened in '92 instead of '99 because i am bad at remembering years) and then spent a significant amount of time (30-ish years) removed from like, every part of vampire society living with his sire moving through the more backwoods parts of the south, primarily louisiana, before breaking away and moving to vegas.

he's a societal moron, he's got a significant affinity for rats (his bite can possibly infect victims with leptospirosis, the only animals that respond to him are rats, toward the end of the game he frenzied bad and ended up with rat ears), he's a master at improvised automobile repair and a shitty driver, he has bizarre gaps in knowledge and equally bizarre spikes in knowledge (find another guy his generation who knows about kaldunism i dare you)

initially, he was a part of the camarilla and was largely affectionately attached to the mmmmmmalkavian primogen (i may be wrong on clan) through the events of the game, before meeting with various anarch members and deciding "actually, fuck this. i'm going to LA"

[bogbees]

this was the initial ending for forsake me not I wrote back in like, November and now has literally nothing to do with the actual ending besides like, the end goal, so i personally wouldn't call it a spoiler since we all expected this outcome.

im nearly done the actual chapter!

He spies the yellow haired boy, and smiles wide, his plan is going into motion.

*

Tanjiro hides his face by ducking his head,

"The one I like might be stupid…" he sighs, not looking up from the table, "what am I going to do about Rengoku-san…"

Kyojuro's eyes go wide. Surely it wasn't going to be this easy.

"Am I now," Kyojuro grins as he sits down next to Tanjiro.

Tanjiro doesn't move for a moment, clearly confused by how the scents and sounds aren't matching up. He then rolls his head to face him, Kyojuro smiles wide at his confused face, and laughs as he jumps off the table like a whip, his eyes wide, "Rengoku-san!" he cries out in utter disbelief.

"Yes," he nods, grinning, absolutely ecstatic.

Tanjiro looks absolutely frantic, eyes blown out, eyebrows furrowed, "why do you have Zenitsu's haori—"

"He lost it. I am on my way to find him, and thought you'd know!" He smiles, lying through his teeth, delighting in the way Tanjiro frowns after discreetly sniffing the air, catching him in the act immediately.

"But!" he says way too loudly even for his own ears, "I'm much more interested in why you think I'm stupid!"

"I, I didn't!" Tanjiro's face is red as the apricot blooms, his eyes "I said the one I like is—"

Kyojuro smiles, nods at him, feeling giddy.

"I said—" he tries again, nerves absolutely wrecked.

"The one you like! The one who's strong and kind! Cute with a nice smile! Me!"

Tanjiro's eyes are impossibly big. Kyojuro thinks he might cry, with how his lips seem to wobble.

"It's true," Tanjiro says.

Kyojuro feels like he will truly combust.

"Good!" He shouts, way too excited to contain himself any longer. Way too excited to not let Tanjiro know he loves him.

"The forget-me-nots were for you!" he announces, "every time I thought about how much I love you, they would climb up my throat to replace my words, my feelings of true love!"

"That's—"

"Foolish! Indeed!"

"No! No! I mean to say I know!"

Kyojuro's excitement comes to a sudden halt. He hums loudly, eyes wide in shock.

"When you— when we slept, um, together, you coughed, I think it woke me up, I heard you tell me you love me…"

Kyojuro's face feels hot, hotter than any blaze he's encountered.

"And, I, um, have been trying to tell you."

Kyojuro hums loudly and closes his eyes, his cheeks hurt from the force of his smile. He feels incredibly foolish, "so that's why you think I'm stupid!"

"Ah, no! Just, um, well, when I tried to tell you I felt the same, I didn't know how to do it and the advice I got might not have been the best."

Kyojuro is reminded of the few moments between them over the last week, when they nearly kissed under the moon, when they spared,

Tanjiro slumps to his knees, exhaling a great sigh, he begins to cry, "I was so ready to propose first!"

Kyojuro's eyes widen, his smile reaches ear to ear, his blush grows in intensity, overwhelmed to hear that, he hums.

"Ahhh, I even, after the night, when you told me you couldn't wait to see me, I ran back all the way to your house, and asked for your father's permission to marry you," he's rubbing his eyes free of tears, smiling brightly.

Kuojuro can't believe his ears. His eyes can only confirm it. He reaches out to touch Tanjiro's cheeks, he helps him wipe away his tears, softly smiling, "did you!" he laughs, his heart caught in his throat.

"I did! I was so nervous! But I really wanted his approval! Because I love you so much!"

Kyojuro can't resist the urge this time. He envelopes Tanjiro in his arms, his chest shuddering as he quietly laughs, at the absurdity of the turn of events.

"And I love you so much!" he says, squeezing Tanjiro, listening to him laugh, he doesn't think it could get better than this.

Eventually they relax, content to just be in another's arms.

"Ah, I wish I didn't know…"

"Know what, my dear?"

Tanjiro's face flushes red upon hearing the term of endearment, but it doesn't help his mood, "know that you were considering surgery."

"Oh, you were right! I didn't want surgery. I didn't think it'd have been pleasant to remember the intensity of my feelings yet feel nothing. I suppose those feelings might have been sparked and became a great blaze of passion once more, but they do say you never feel the same after the roots are surgically removed! It was more frightening than any demon I've ever faced!"

"Then—"

"It was you! Your passionate speech regarding it! Remember when I collapsed? It was because I wanted to kiss you!"

Tanjiro hides his red, red, red face behind his hands, "I thought I was imagining things!"

Kuojuro hums,

[flower-waltz]

rewatching princess tutu w/ beloved friends after not picking it up since trying to invite rapist ex into our heart - necessary. it feels more like it's finally cleaned up again, the grime from that woman is wiped off.

especially since she had tried to further dig into us, immature selfish rotten monster, namedropping Josie & the intro song & everything in the aftermath of it.. not gonna lie, it felt like. a little bit grubby? Not tainted or ruined, but like, someone got their hands on it a bit, or a spill stained the hem of my dress, or something.

Easy to remove, but frustrating, frustrating. And to be stuck carrying the feeling of grime, frustrating, frustrating. Filthy, repulsive, like a human tick. Part of me is nothing but rage, and still I am sad, but I am more sad that I am changed by that experience still. Filthy, worthless, how dare something like that take any piece of me out of that? The "I" before was an untouched, sheltered, always-dreaming self. "I" am apart from "myself", and only Carmel understands the feeling of being wrenched from her dream by forceful, dirty hands.

I guess it's comforting in a way to know, well, at least someone is still dreaming, if it cannot be me anymore. And it has happened before. There is a line-up of parts only here because nothing bad ever happens to Josephine. She does not know because I know, and she never loved her because I did, & so on... but it's frustrating, frustrating. Looking back, the signs were all there. But... There is always a good spin to things, and something lovable, beautiful, something wonderful in the heart of every person, it just takes a softer gaze to see it. It's a lovely way of seeing the world - rosy all the time. Nothing truly bad exists in that world. Nobody is too far gone, nothing breaks which cannot be mended, everything will be okay in the end, and people are good. The bad in people, it's there because the world is difficult and scary. By all hand-in-hand refusing to forsake anyone, everyone can be okay. Rose-colored, glittering, too good to be true dream-world.

It's difficult to look at it with all sets of eyes at once, even though it is important to all of us in the same boat. I am still myself, I am not myself. I have the same heart, I don't share her heart. I like all the same things, I am not myself.

Nothing bad can happen, or it cannot remain the same. Nothing bad can exist, or it cannot remain the same. Nothing sad lasts, and she was always beloved, nothing bad has ever happened, nothing bad will ever happen, not a single stain, not a single thing will mar it. Nothing of the real world is deserving of even a chance to do that. Nothing can take that respite away. Not the worst of it, certainly not the most pathetic worthless kinds trying to step up the ladder of the camaraderie of rape, nothing and nobody. It will remain as a single perfect dream forever and ever and ever.

And not all can be part of it for that forever, because people just keep laying their filthy good-for-nothing hands on me. As if they have any right. Just because they want to - as if their wants or expectations are in themselves reason enough to trample on my autonomy.

Some people add nothing good to the world they are in. The previous rapist had more potential to change for the better than that leech - although I still can't pin in words the difference between apathy and sadism, between the two, only one of them ever acknowledged the consequences their actions had for me... what kind of consolation is that? To be leaning into oh, at least he could see I was still a human being like him, and the fun for him WAS in hurting me. And she could not even do that, to the very end.

Consequences won't satisfy, wouldn't have satisfied even if we had sought them out. Nothing would move her to see that - to acknowledge what she did, had taken from me, to truly see what she had done, and what I'd have to live on with. To see my humanity fully, to not shield her ego from it. No punishment could bring me that. Only that would be enough for me, in terms of what could come about from that further. Not empty words, shows of more of her vapid brainless egotistical dramatizing, stomping over boundaries still just to say "NUH UH!! IM NO BAD!! YOU WRONG!!", that crap, her best imitation of remorse, her best imitation of sight. Worthless.

Revisiting it with these eyes, along with some other things, I do feel a bit stronger, a bit better on my own away from the sweetness of shelter before.

[thegeminisage]

ok! it's time for a ds9 update. last night we squeezed in "move along home" and "the nagus."

move along home (ds9):

i am Informed this is a divisive episode but honestly i had fun w it!!

nice 2 see jake always. every time jake is on screen w his dad sisko my best friend sisko get to exude good dad energy. love that.

like. please. he's gonna give jake the talk? at 14??? 14 is too late. he knows everything. also lmao the fact that nog there ferengi where women don't wear clothes told him everything. i'm choosing to ignore my annoyance with ferengis as a whole and find that funny because of sisko's reaction

reasonably funny antics between quark and odo here. i am getting a little tired of odo not getting anything to do besides flirt with quark, but then i have to remind myself that odo had an episode all to himself quite literally six episodes ago, it's just our insane watch order + bad batch and natla coming out that makes it feel longer to me

quark like screaming on his knees begging not to have to put someone to death when nbody was gonna die anyway was actually really funny, but i do like the nuance in his kneejerk reaction when he found out the pieces were people, which was to forsake pride and ask odo to play for him. he could have gotten defensive for the bit, which he did do later, but his first reaction was to be scared which is like completely normal and went a long way towards humanizing him in an otherwise VERY silly episode

my favorite moment of this episode, besides the part where they hotboxed the shap, was when those little balls of light were coming towards them and sisko was like FIND COVER and julian bashir, instead of finding cover, stood directly aainst the wall they were aiming at, ass first. and then died. i want that twink obliterated.png

the nagus (ds9):

thank you to whomstever warned me about this episode

it was not good and it did suck bad. i think this was the first real dud ds9 gave us (i'm not counting the q one cuz that was basically a tng episode in disguise). i feel like it would be sooo easy to walk back some of the really awful elements of the ferengi but instead of doing that we have chosen to crank them up to 11. sexism, antisemitism, etc etc...

my other problem is that. and before anyone gets mad i have a touch of faceblindness. I CANNOT TELL THOSE FERENGI APART. they gave two of the ferengi the same nose and i was totally lost trying to follow the plot.

quark holding the idiot ball. he's dumb in his own way because everyone on that space station is using their last brain cell but he's also very shrewd. so it just felt off. and again odo had nothing to do except flirt with him but that's a me problem

BUGS FOR DINNER. i hated this episode in more ways than one

THAT SAID. we finally got to see o'brien again! and shockingly i really really really really liked the b plot

i did go blind with rage when nog got pulled out of school. yes. but the rest of it.

first of all it's really funny that jake is running around with nog all the time and their families are both going DON'T!!! and sisko is like Oh No My Son Has Discovered Girls when there is every evidence he is even now discovering boys

SECONDLY sisko reminding o'brien that one day his adorable little three year old will be 14 and the light leaving o'brien's eyes

but my favorite part is that jake wasn't being late to curfew because he's a bad kid or falling under a bad influence. he's a GOOD kid doing an AWESOME thing. idk, it was really sweet that like, even when sisko was like "yeah racism's bad but with ferengi it's different" jake was like "is it? :/" and then went right on teaching his buddy how to read. and now he's earned dad's permission to hang out with nog finally. it was a fun little subplot that i didn't realize was going anywhere and then it did. a very pleasant surprise and kept the episode from being a complete drag.

also, dax coming it and daintily sampling sisko's soup or whatever, then deftly getting rid of sisko so she could help herself to a giant heap lmao. queen

anyway, even though that's definitely been the worst ds9 ep so far, it wasn't NEARLY as bad as some of tng's duds. i'm thinking specifically of "code of honor," "violations," etc. like it could have been so much worse. i'm not going to delude myself into thinking we're past all the clunkers just yet, but i was still expecting a solid hour of agony and what i got was not that. not good by any means but not tng. whew!

TONIGHT: "starship mine" and "lessons" from tng. thots and prayers🙏