#how the fuck is ikkaku winning…

[gallusrostromegalus]

all the captains and lieutenants accidentally get slipped some of ukitake's fucked up gigaweed edibles, what happens

First of all, it's not an accident, they straight-up plan a Friday-Night-Of-A-Three-Day-Weekend event of this. Everyone is curious, and Ukitake thinks it will be a funny way to celebrate his Birthday. He is correct: Yamamoto: Veteran of The Dank Arts, gets real high but not unpleasantly so. Would do it again next time he has a long weekend to enjoy it!

Sasakibe: Claims Ludwig Wittgenstein makes PERFECT sense now, attempts to write this philosophical revelation down but is thwarted by the jammed machinations of a clicky pen.

Soi Fon: Gives herself a hernia laughing at one (1) bad pun.

Yoruichi: Used to Urahara's Megaweed Edibles, so approaches the Gigaweed with undue confidence, declares This Edible Ain't Shit five minutes in and eats a second one. She has to be coaxed down from the top of the fridge where she's hiding from The Hatmen by bribing her with a can of Tuna. (Ukitake keeps the $21-a-can Good Shit in the house)

Omaeda: Creates a God-teir marinara Sauce, AND has the good sense to have Nemu pause her Game of Go and come into the kitchen to write down what he did.

Rose: Writes a magnificent new symphony, it's his best work ever, it's life alteringly beautiful, it's effervescent- When he sobers up, it's half a piccolo solo that barely qualifies as a ringtone.

Izuru: In the kitchen crying while eating an inadvisable amount of Omaeda's Spaghetti Marinara.

Retsu: Category Five Mukbang Incident

Isane: Thinks she's filming the Mukbang Incident, actually has her phone open to the calculator app.

Shinji: refuses to touch the Gigaweed because he "Owes The Hatmen Money" and nobody can tell if he's joking or not (he's not).

Momo: Literally Everything is HILARIOUS

Hiyori: Did not know it was possible to have a bigger, gayer crush on Momo, but she somehow opened up a new level of lesbianics. She calls it Gay 2.

Byakuya: Couchlocked for 24 hours straight.

Renji: Couchlocked right there with him, but able to text Izuru to bring them Spaghetti.

Komamura: Can't. Canine Weed Toxicity. (Relieved, offers to spend the weekend watching Toshiro and Yachiru so he has an excuse to go winter camping over the weekend)

Iba: Got High as FUCK. Found out later that the thing he actually ate was a Little Debbie Cosmic Brownie.

Shunsui: his alcohol tolerance actually makes his weed tolerance terrible so he's on the floor from jokingly licking the wrapper.

Nanao: Challenging people to knife fights (Romantic Intent).

Tousen: Immediately passes out because he managed to get his blood pressure down to normal levels, sleeps for 26 hours straight and wakes up feeling genuinely well-rested and in a good mood for the first time in two centuries.

Kensei: Gets his hand bitten at the Category 5 Mukbang Incident because he thought it would be funny to try to snitch off Retsu's plate.

Shuuhei: Attempting to refinance Shinji's debt with The Hatmen. Possibly succeeding?

Mashiro: Said "This Edible Ain't Shit", took a second, and appears to be unaffected. Playing Go with Nemu and winning.

Matsumoto: Makes the Hernia-inducing Pun. Will not STOP making Puns.

Hitsugaya: Being babysat by Komamura, would be madder about this if he wasn't also having a blast doing wintertime camping.

Kenpachi: Attempts to fight his own shadow, loses.

Yachiru: Also on the Wintertime Mountain Expedition, trying to talk Toshiro into joining her and Komamura on an Elk Hunt.

Ikkaku: Has done weed before, but only smoked it, but has a naturally suspicious nature and waits to see how Yoruichi does on her second edible, and avoids running afoul of The Hatmen.

Yumichika: Stays sober to collect blackmail on everyone. Actually films the Mukbang Incident for Isane

Mayuri: This is NOTHING compared to the Quantum Formaldymeth shit he's been on for the last century.

Urahara: from a prominent weed-growing family and lifetime connoisseur of The Herb. Takes one bite and realizes he's in deep shit, lies down on the floor next to Shuuhei and gives him terrible financial advice.

Nemu: Not chemically effected by The Edible but she loves A Group Social Activity so she's a little crunk on Social Recognition Euphoria and it's interfering with her game.

Ukitake, peeling his lieutenant off the floor: Y'all are wimps.

Rukia: has to be peeled off the floor, is affectionately dumped in the laps of Renji and Byakuya, where she forces them to have an emotionally honest and borderline normal conversation.

[electronicwitchcollection]

~*Urahara Smut*~

This might be my favourite one yet 🫣 please feel free to reblog and comment 🥰

Prompts : "Can you be quiet?" & “Fuck, I wish this room was soundproof”

Say what you wanted about Captain Kyoraku, but the man knew how to throw a party. The lower floor of his manor was filled with drunken shinigami laughing heartily, the clinking of porcelain at yet another loudly proclaimed "cheers" and off key singing to the music battling to be heard over the ruckus. Alcohol and smoke blanketed the warm atmosphere, open patio doors inviting a cool, spring breeze into the room.

The boisterous yells of testosterone filled youth play fighting on the patio had your full attention. You watched amused as Renji and Ikkaku wrestled playfully, throwing around their weight to pin the other. Teasing insults flew about easily, hoping to catch the other off guard. You joined in the encouraging calls, standing next to Yumichika who had the familiar glint in his eye that only a member of the eleventh division had when witnessing a fight.

Renji got the upper hand, throwing all his weight forward he managed to pin Ikkaku on the ground, holding him down on his shoulders as Yumichika counted them down

"3..2..1! We have a winner!"

Renji jumped up, arms in the air celebrating his win boisterously. After a dramatic bow to the cheers from onlookers he offed Ikkaku a hand to his feet, accepting the promise of a rematch later with a manly thump to the shoulder

"who's next?" Renji asked the crowd, eyes falling on you with a big grin "YN? How about it? Fancy a wrestle?" He added a lecherous eyebrow wriggle much to the enjoyment of the gathering men. Your cheeks stained pink at the inebriated jeering pulled forth from the double meaning. You roll your eyes at the snicker Yumichika gave you, elbowing your side gently.

"hard pass" you say with a determined straight face, earning another rupture of laugher and good natured shoving between the men. Taking the moment to escape, you slip back into the heart of the party with a grin on your face. Dry scratch in the back of your throat prompted you to cross the busy room, in search of a drink in the kitchen.

After being swept up in a three way hug with a drunken Hisagi and Kira, the cause of the painfully awful singing you had heard from outside and side stepping a playful swot to your ass, courtesy of Captain Kyoraku as you walked passed him trying to encourage Ukitake to let loose and drink, you finally made it into the kitchen.

It was just as full and loud as the other room, a gaggle of girls giggled loudly as they sampled the snacks laid out. You spotted Matsumoto leaning heavily on a straining Momo, attempting to keep her alcohol loving friend upright. You chuckled at the sight, tipping the bottle of beer you snagged from the counter in her direction in greeting before slipping out into the hall, closing the door behind you.

You enjoyed a party as much as the next person, but you needed a moment of quiet amongst the madness. Sitting down heavily on the wooden staircase, you opened your drink and drank enthusiastically. With a sigh you leaned back onto the staircase, elbows propping you up on the step behind you. You listened to the muffled noise of the party, taking a moment to relax in the calm. Closing your eyes, you let your head fall back, tapping your foot to the beat of the music.

"Hiding, are we?"

The unexpected voice startled you, you jerked forward almost comically, beer sloshing out the top of the bottle to wet your hand. Your hand rested over your suddenly rapidly beating heart, eyes falling on the source of your fright. Kisuke Urahara stood at the foot of the stairs, fanning himself with that ridiculous fan he always had on him. Though the fan covered the lower half of his face, you knew he was grinning proudly by the crinkle in his mischievous eyes.

"Don't do that!" You scolded him sternly, wiping your beer soaked hand on your clothes. Sneaky bastard was quiet, you'd give him that. All the years working in the second division had made him almost impossible to detect unless he allowed you to do so. While it was an excellent trait to have when on duty as a Shinigami, it was unbecoming of the captain to use his light feet to scare unassuming parties, especially when involved wasting the alcohol you were enjoying "You scared me half to death"

The glint in his eyes only magnified at your less than pleased expression. He wafted his fan gently, the unruly tuft of blond hair that sat atop his nose fluttered in the breeze created

"sorry, sorry"  The musical lilt of his voice sounded playfully behind his fan as he placated you with a lofty hand movement "I was merely curious as to why you were hiding out here alone"

"you enjoy creeping about and you know it" you scoff at the mock innocence he tried to portray, you knew him too well. He snapped his fan shut against his hand, sneaking it into the inside of his Black Kosode. The wrap of the kosode was loose, showing off the hardened, pale chest below. Not quite as lavishly open as Kyoraku tended to wear, though toeing the line of decency tantalisingly.

"you're avoiding the question" he teased, the clacking of his geta on the marble floor accompanied his walk over to you. He sat down next to you on the step, large frame invading your personal space. He reached out and stole the beer from your hand, raising it to his lips to greedily drink down. You watched transfixed at the way his Adam's apple bobbed with each swallow. From this angle, you could see how sharp his jaw was, defined..manly.

"there's a kitchen full of drinks in the kitchen you know. You didn't have to come all the way out here to steal mine"  You told him with the perfect deadpan look. The boyish grin you had in return was worth the lack of drink currently in your hand. That was one of the things you enjoyed most about these parties. Seeing the Captains and Lieutenants relax and have fun, act like normal people for a change. It was refreshing to see Urahara out of the lab, socialising with the living, and not locking himself away to work on what ever new invention his brilliant mind had cooked up.

"maa, beer is supposed to be shared between friends" he handed you back the bottle, holding onto it teasingly when you tried to take it back. You raised an amused eyebrow at him, lips curved prettily in a smile. Your fingers brushed together against the cool chill of the glass as you had your little tug of war, the liquid splashing about threatening to spill

"we're friends?" You ask him once he released the bottle back into your possession, so suddenly that a few drops managed to escape, slowly sliding down the glass. Absentmindedly, you licked up the length of the bottle, chasing away the sticky trail. You got on well enough with him, chatted a few times during these parties, said hello when passed in the street. Not exactly on friendship terms though. You take a long pull of the tangy beer, missing the hungry look flashing in his eyes at the erotic way you cleaned the bottle

. "I think so" The small smile on his face didn't falter as he watched your tongue dip out to catch the moisture left on your lips "so tell me, friend, why are you out here alone?"

"I'm not alone" you lean into his space to nudge his shoulder with your own playfully "Im drinking with my buddy"

You chuckled at the way he cocked his head to the side, giving you a look that clearly said he was going to keep asking until he had an answer that satisfied his curious mind. "I just needed a moment to relax. I'm afraid I'm not as blissfully drunk as the others" not for lack of trying, as you took another drink before willing handing the bottle over to share.

Urahara took the bottle gratefully, lifting it to his lips he muttered out before drinking "that's not nearly as entertaining as what I was hoping you were up to "

"what did you think I was doing?" You asked perplexed. He shrugged, finishing the bottle he laid it on the step next to him. He stood up unexpectedly, turning to face you with a devilish grin, holding out a large calloused hand

"come explore with me"

"explore? where?" You slipped your hand into the one offered. Warm fingers encased your hand, pulling you from the steps quicker than you had anticipated, causing you to stumble into his deceivingly solid frame with a huff. His devious grin only widened as you straightened yourself away from his chest, dusting of pink colouring your cheeks

"upstairs. I bet Kyoraku has some good alcohol hidden away up there"

"we shouldn't" you weakly protest as he sneaked an arm around your waist, sitting a little too low to be considered friendly. "I don't want to be reprimanded for sneaking into a Captains bedroom uninvited "

"we can't get into trouble if we don't get caught" he whispered into your ear, hot breath tickled at the hairs covering it, making you shudder slightly. You were painfully aware at how close his hand was in proximity to your ass as he urged your forward, ghosting it across your body as he removed it. "It'll be fun"

You watched as he began the climb up the stairs, soft clicks of his shoes steadily climbing higher. Your mind quickly raced through all the possibilities of what could go wrong before sigh defeated. You never could resist satisfying a curiosity, "Wait up" you call after him, hurrying up the stairs to catch up.

———————————————————

After discovering a bathroom and what seemed to be an unused office, Urahara lead you into a third room which could only be the master bedroom. Urahara let out a small whistle at the sight, a large bed dominated the room, deep blue bed sheets pulled neatly over the mattress. An array of matching pillows scattered across the headboard, plump and with a silky sheen. A small sofa and coffee table nestled against the wall behind the bedroom door had a small drinks cabinet next to it.

The room had two large windows letting in the soft glow from the moon, two doors sat on either ends of the room. Urahara made his way to investigate the contents of the drink's cabinet, crouching down to the balls of his feet. You crossed the room to the bed, running your fingers over the silky sheets. They were as soft as they looked, allowing your fingertips to glide effortlessly over them. You heard the clink of bottles bumping together followed by a satisfying pop of a cork over the hum of the party below.

"I knew it" Urahara said, pulling your focus from the bed. He stood with a bottle of sake in hand, holding it up to the moonlight to read the label. "Kyoraku always has good sake" You watched as he drank straight from the bottle before handing it over to you

You accept the offering, shaking your head with a smile "we're going to get in so much trouble"

The grin he gave you was wide and playful as he sank down onto the bed, bouncing lightly to test the comfort. The bed protested in the form of creeky springs "what Kyoraku doesn't know, can't hurt us" the dramatic wink he gave made you grin in return

Not finding any fault in that logic, you surrendered to the situation you were in. You sat down on the bed next to Urahara before indulging in the sake. The tart, fruity liquid tantalised your taste buds, the burn of the alcohol warming up your throat. You felt the warmth associated with alcohol surge through your body, relaxing your tense muscles.

You handed over the drink, Uraharas fingers brushed over your own. Rough with burns and callouses , the texture sent a shock of arousal through you. You felt the warmth radiated off him in waves, burning through your clothes where your thighs brushed, arms grazed. Urahara watched your face intently, eyes taking in every curve and line of your face as he brought the bottle to his lips. Neck of the bottle pillowed against his full bottom lip, head tilted back, his messy blond hair caught in the moonlight practically glowed.

You watched transfixed as his tongue darted out to moisten his lips, slightly parted with suddenly loud breathing. The smell of the fruity sake on his breath was inviting, melting harmoniously with his own natural musk. The slight undertone of latex and the tang of chemicals enriched the aroma surrounding him. Urahara laid a heavy hand onto the bed behind you, leaning his weight to dip towards you. Your breath caught in your throat at the way his steely grey eyes fixated on you. The way they searched intently into the depths of your own. They drop down to your lips slowly, inching forward as if to appreciate them fully.

The weight of his gaze and the warmth of his proximity had you leaning closer. The hazy cover of alcohol dimmed the sensible thoughts you should've been having. The air thickened around you, pushing you closer together in an unbreakable pull. Half laden eyes watched you carefully, looking for the sign to back away or the invitation to lean in closer. Your tongue nervously darted out, separating your lips, inviting him closer.

Urahara placed the sake inbetween his strong thighs, opening up a palm to cup your jaw. His thumb brushed against your bottom lip, before leaning in to close the gap. Your breath mingled hotly between you, eyes fluttering closed at the promise of soft lips moulding to your own. Fingers gripped into the back of your neck, angling your face perfectly.

A shrill squeal broke through the erotic atmosphere between you. A breath away from making contact, you jumped away from eachother startled. A girly giggle and the thundering of heavy steps on the staircase filtering through the open bedroom door had you jumping from the bed. Wide eyed you grabbed Uraharas arm, shaking it nervously "We're going to get caught, genius"  you whisper loudly to him, a deep chuckle increasingly getting closer the the bedroom you were hiding in.

Uraharas head whipped side to side, deciding on the best corse of action he grabbed hold of your wrist, thrusting the sake into your hand and dragging you willingly across the bedroom. He opened the door you had noticed to the left of the room, hurrying in and tugging you sharply into his chest. He closed the door quietly slipping you both into darkness. You detangled yourself from Urahara pushing you into his smooth chest, your back lightly hit the door behind you. You held your breath at the noise, waiting for whomever had come upstairs to discover you. The main bedroom door slamming shut made you jump, your hands automatically gripped onto Uraharas top, fisting the open neckline.

You heard the deep, sultry undertone of Kyorakus muffled voice in the next room, a feminine reply cut short by a thump of bodies hitting a wall. Your head shoots up to stare into Uraharas shaded face, absolutely mortified. The devious grin you found on his face had you thumping him on the chest "what are we going to do now, genius?" You whisper harshly at him.

You felt the silent snicker he gave by the shuddering of his chest. Eyes adjusting to the change in lighting, you discovered he had pulled you into a closet, a small closet. Clothes hung high on one wall, draws nestled neatly below the hems of the hanging garments. The other wall, thankfully clear, giving you enough room to not be nestled in Kyorakus clothes. The small wall opposite the door held a small circular window, mercifully bathing the room in moonlight, cutting through the darkness

"the window" you nodded behind Urahara, urging him gently with your fingers. Urahara made a tight spin, taking two steps to cross the distance and examine the window. You laid the sake down on one of the cabinets tops, watching as His hands circled the frame gently, before turning back to you, head already shaking.

"no good, it doesn't open" you could hear the amusement in his whispered voice, clearly not as effected by the embarrassing situation as you were. The familiar creek of the bed springs sounded out, followed by a desperate moan. Your hands flew to your mouth to catch the gasp you almost let escape.

"oh my god" you whisper, all too familiar with what those signs mean. Your slender fingers covered your face, heat rushing through your body as you listened to the sounds of Captain Kyoraku engaging in the beginnings of sex with his next willing partner. How did you always let yourself get into these situations? You had only wanted a moments silence, now you were trapped with the man you had nearly kissed in the closet of another man, evidently doing more than just kissing if you were to judge the situation by the next obnoxiously loud moan.

Sliding your hands down your face you let them fall heavily back to your side. Heat rushed through your body, reacting to the live porn going on in the room the other side of the door. The feminine breathy moans had your thighs squeezing together, needy throb from between your legs, jealous that you weren't the one to feel such pleasure. Your skin tingled at the yearning to feel strong hands bring you to the brink of pleasure.

So focused on the room beyond the closet you failed to notice the change in the atmosphere until it hit you overwhelmingly, stealing your breath away. Urahara stood in closer proximity than you realised, taller frame blocking half of the moons warming glow. You could hear his deep slow breathing, feel his body vibrate with tension. You looked up into his face cast in shadow, moon glowing around his wide silhouette.

You saw his hand twitching beside him, itching to reach out and grab you. The woman calling out Shunsuis name had you both slamming together in a feverish kiss. Urahara used his superior strength to push you back into the wall, pinning you with his lips. His hands found purchase at the curve of your hips, pushing himself into you. His soft, demanding lips parted your own, his tongue hungrily caressing your own as he dominated your mouth.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down to you desperately. Your fingers scratched the back of his head, threading through his hair to grip it tightly. You could tell the sounds from the adjoining room had excited him as much as it did you by the hardened length pressed against your hip. You moan into the kiss, Urahara swallowing it greedily, grinding himself into you.

Your hands traveled down from his neck, over the hardened planes of his chest and into his kosode. Your fingers memorised the smooth muscles, soaked in the heat from his defined abs. Your lips separated, panting hotly between you. Your hands greedily pushed away his kosode, searching for more bare skin. Urahara made quick work of your sash, undoing the knot securing it you your body and dropping it to the floor. You are breasts hit the air, nipples hardening rapidly.

Pushing off your top, Urahara ducked his head to capture a dusty pink nipple into his mouth and sucked enthusiastically. Your back arched off the cool wall, thrusting your breast into his willing mouth. Urahara helped you remove his top before bringing his hand up to your neglected globe, squeezing it approvingly in his rough hand. Your head fell back to knock into the wall, panting deeply as the spikes of pleasure rushed through you, dampening your panties.

Rolling your nipple between his fingers, Urahara left your breast, flicking his tongue against your hardened bud before rising. His breath ghosted over your face, hand caressing over your exposed side to tease a finger along the waist band of your bottoms. "Can you be quiet?" You felt him whisper against your lips. At your breathless nod he closed the distance, pressing his lips against yours in a breath stealing kiss.

The shout pulled from a powerful orgasm in the bedroom covered the sound of Uraharas knees hitting the floor. Skilled fingers pulled down your soaked panties along with your bottoms, pulling them from your ankles with your cooperation. Your thighs trembled as you felt large hands smooth their way up your legs, a trail of heat rushing up to your core. Kisses teased the supple flesh of your inner thigh, hands nudging your legs further apart. A sharp nip the the skin made you gasp, his wet tongue soothing the area had your head swimming in arousal.

The springs whining beyond the door distracted you momentarily, reminding you of the situation you were in. A stubbled chin scratching the sensitive mound between your legs had your head snapping back down. Urahara grinned at you wolfishly before surging forward, burying his face between your legs for a lavish kiss with your clit. Your hands reached out to grab fistfuls of messy blond hair, helping keeping you up right as your legs trembled beneath you. Darkened with lust eyes bore into your own, commanding you to keep eye contact as his devilishly skilled tongue twirled around your most sensitive area. The scruff on his jaw brought new sensations to your supple flesh, adding to the stimulation.

There wasn't a more sinful sight than that of Kisuke Urahara hungrily devouring your core while maintaining eye contact, of that you were certain. A quiet whimper escaped your lips, pleasure rippling through you. Tightening your hold on his hair, Urahara groaned into your pussy, the gravely tone sending vibrations to your swollen clit. Your top teeth snagged your bottom lip, biting down to quiet the desperate moan threatening to make itself known.

Uraharas hand snaked it's way around your thigh, lifting it easily to drape over a broad shoulder. Inching forward into the new space, he pushed two fingers through your dampened folds, teasing your hot silky inner walls. Your hips bucked forward, chasing the feeling of being penetrated. The deep sultry tones of Kyoraku sounded through the quiet, adding to the lustful haze you were lost in. The rhythmic tapping of a headboard hitting the wall set a steady rythem for the nimble fingers fucking into you.

Lip threatening to break and bleed, you opted to raise your hand, biting down on the fleshy part of your thumb. "Urahara" you mumbled around your flesh, praising the steady rhythm building you up to a euphoric orgasm. You hips grounded down onto his thrusting fingers, fucking your self on his digits. Talented tongue swirling around your clit, pressing into it firmly before wrapping his lips securely and sucking deeply. Fingers brushed against the spongy pleasure spot inside you, along with the powerful suction had you coming apart.

The hand twisted up in the mop of hair tightened, pushing him away wetly from your over stimulated bud as you tumbled blindly into an orgasm. Your legs shook with the pleasure, as your head dropped back in a silent moan. Your release coated his busy fingers, riding you through your orgasm. The wetness reached your thighs, cooling rapidly against your skin.

Darkness around the edges of your vision faded as his fingers slipped from your clenching pussy, greedily trying to pull them back in. Breathing hard you looked down at the erotic sight. Urahara knelt at your feet, head pushed back by your own fingers in his hair. He looked up at you with a carnal desire, eyes locked onto yours in a predatory stare.

Grip softening in his locks, your hand slid down to his jaw, the scratch of his scruff prickled against your palm. Dampened with your arousal, Uraharas tongue dragged across his lips, savouring your taste, not willing to loose a drop. Gracefully he rose, caging you between the wall and his sculptured body. Defined chest pressed against your soft breasts, nipples rubbing against the taunt skin. Breath painted with the smell of your arousal invaded your space, wet lips allowing you to taste yourself in a languid kiss.

"call me Kisuke" he breathed into your neck, leaving feathering kisses at the juncture where it met your shoulder. Your eyes slip closed at the lingering kisses he left, breathing out his name in a prayer. The sound of his breathy name falling from your lips had him rolling his hips, reminding you of his neglected cock held prisoner behind his clothes. Fingers roamed over his impressive abs, dipping into the contours of his muscles. Following down the trail of hair you hooked your fingers into his waist band, tugging them down eagerly.

Kisuke assisted in pushing the garments away, eagerly allowing his straining cock to spring free. Your hand wrapped around the smooth length, thumb circling the leaking, bulbous head to spread the ejaculate seeping out. You felt the shuddering breath against your neck as he thrust into your hand, chasing the exquisite squeeze around his member. "Kisuke" you moan wantonly over his head, rolling your fist up his arousal.

Urahara straightened, two firm hands wrapped around your legs and threw you up the wall effortlessly to meet his desperate look. You guided his length to your core, wetting the head through your dampened folds. Urging him in, Kisuke thrusted forward, sliding through your clenching walls to the hilt. Your arms wrapped around his neck, fingers returning to his messed up hair.

Kisuke subconsciously began thrusting into you in time with the slamming headboard in the room beyond. The drag of his thick cock stretching your inner walls almost painfully. The angle had him hitting your sweet spot with feverish accuracy. Strong hands cupped your ass, kneading the juicy globes appreciatively. Head buried in your neck, he nibbled at your skin, soothing the nips with a strong swipe of his tongue. You moan into his ear, pleasure rippling through your body.

Uraharas hand flew up to cup over your mouth, muffling the cry your lustful mind couldn't stifle. "Fuck, I wish this room was soundproof" he growled into your ear, powerful hips snapping into you eliciting a high keen smothered by his palm "I bet I can make you scream louder than that lovey lass in there" 

You panted harshly behind the hand, trying to suck in a lungful of air. Your mind was swimming dizzily, lost in the pleasure given to you. Your fingers dug into Kisukes shoulders, nails marking his skin with Cresent shape indents. His thrusting increased with the rapid banging next door, plowing through you as the woman screamed out in toe curling pleasure. The gruff manly grunts that followed added to your arousal, locking eyes with Urahara pleadingly as the headboard ceased its racket, springs no longer whining.

"stay quiet" Urahara whispered, removing his hand at your nod to resume its place on your ass. You wrapped your arms tightly around his neck, burying your face into his shoulder to muffle any sounds that could escape. Using the leverage Kisuke had on your ass, he pulled you down onto every thrust, making you feel every rigid inch he pushed into your soaking pussy.

You were in ecstasy. Your body buzzed and vibrated with unmeasurable pleasure. Desire oozed from you at every thick drag his cock had in your tight walls.  Everything around you was Kisuke. His handsome face, contorted in pure pleasure stared at you intently, obscuring everything else in the room. His hard, powerful body pressed against your own, everywhere he touched hot and pleasurable, overwhelming your senses. The air in the closet was thick and warm, the subtle smell of your sex melting together, musky and heady. The sounds of sweat slicked skin slapping together, desperate breathy moans and the embarrassingly wet noises coming from your joining bodies. 

The introduction of his thumb pressing firmly into your clit had you spiralling. Quick short movements against the over sensitive bud had you slamming your eyes shut, a bright light exploding behind them. You could feel your impending orgasm race towards you, feeling the tension about to snap you bit down into his shoulder, muffling the cry you gave. Unrelenting hips slammed you into the wall repeatedly, Kisuke chasing after his own orgasmic bliss as you clamped down tightly. Spasming walls and the sudden gush of liquid surged him on. Orgasm fading away, you released the hold you had on his shoulder; visible wet teeth marks left of the otherwise unblemished skin. 

Your body sagged in his grip, endorphins giving your a boneless feel as all your muscles relaxed. With half hooded eyes you raised your head, body jerking along with his erratic thrusts. Kisukes dark grey eyes held your own, panting with the force he used to bring himself to the edge. Nudging your nose with his own, you tilted your chin up to accept his desperate kiss. His tongue coated your own lazily, a stark contrast to the way he plowed his dick into you erratically. 

Desperate thrusts turned sloppy, loosing all sense of rhythm as he came deep inside you. He groaned into your mouth and your swallowed it gladly. The fingers he had on your ass pinched in bruisingly, holding you flush against his twitching member as he exploded his hot seed deep within you.  Urahara gently laid his sweaty forehead on your own, heating up the space between you as his breathing fought to return to normal. The hair messily falling over his nose tickled your own, you brushed it back only to watch amused as it immediately fell back into place over his nose. Hiss fingers eased up from the grip he had on your ass as he came down from his high. soothing the area with the palm of his hands. 

Cock softening inside you, your legs went limp around his waist, struggling to hold yourself up. Urahara pulled himself free from your depths, wincing at how sensitive he was. Carefully he helped you to lower your legs, assuring you could hold your weight before loosening his grip. His hands rubbed up to your hips, rubbing his thumb over the silky skin. He kissed you sweetly, lips lingering on your own as you enjoyed the post orgasmic glow.  ——————————————————

Both fully dressed you had kissed lightly in the quiet darkness. Gentle fingers caressed your cheek, whispering sweet words of your sudden frenzied love making.  When loud snores vibrated through the room, you broke the silence with a whisper "you think it's safe to sneak out?" Urahara rested a finger onto his lips, warning you to remand quiet. Silently he moved to the closet door, opening it a fraction to peer out into the room.  He beckoned your forward with a curl of his fingers. Picking up your shoes, not trusting yourself to be as quiet as Urahara when wearing them, you sneaked your way over. 

His fingers intertwined with your own, holding your hand securely as he pushed the door open enough for you both to slip out. With held breath you slowly crossed the room. You couldn't resist darting your eyes to to bed in the centre of the room. Kyoraku lay on his back snoring loudly, wide hairy chest exposed to the room. One strong leg laid kicked out from the sheet, thankfully still covering his modesty. Dark brown hair covered the face of the woman nestled into his side, making it impossible for you to identify her. 

Urahara squeezing your hand had your eyes snapping back to his. His eyebrows were raised comically at your staring, teasing smirk on his kissed swollen lips. You sent him a toothy grin at being caught staring. With a playful shake of his head, Urahara urged you to cross the room, avoiding the messily thrown clothes that littered the floor.

One in the hall, Urahara closed the door behind you with a soft click.  You both released a deep breath, tension finally broken now that you hadn't been caught in a compromising position . Urahara picked up his speed, dragging you along behind him as he hurried to the stairs. Practically running down the wooden staircase you began giggling. Adrenaline surged through your veins as Kisuke threw open the front door the the manor, running through the gardens with your laugh chasing behind him. He turned to see you running behind him, wide mischievous grin back on his handsome face.  The very same grin that had gotten you trapped in that closet in the first place. 

[shiigures-a]

Eᴠᴇɴ Mᴏʀᴇ Iɴᴄᴏʀʀᴇᴄᴛ Qᴜᴏᴛᴇs Gᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀ!

Send in ✏️ and I’ll use this (improved) incorrect quote generator featuring both our muses! (please remember to specify how many muses/which muses for multimuses!)

( accepting )

@ikkaku-of-heart said: ✏️

Tashigi: Here you go, Ikkaku, a nice hot cup of coffee! Ikkaku: It's cold. Tashigi: A nice cup of coffee. Ikkaku: It's horrible! Tashigi: Cup of coffee. Ikkaku: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee. Tashigi: C U P.

Ikkaku: Alright, listen up you little shits. Ikkaku: Not you Tashigi. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

Tashigi: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules. Ikkaku: What? Tashigi: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

Tashigi: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’ Ikkaku: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

[blasphemecel]

Rangiku Matsumoto ― Fun, Fun, Fun

PAIRING: Rangiku Matsumoto/Reader WORD COUNT: 1.8k WARNING(S): Alcohol consumption, References to sex, but nothing actually happens TYPE: Humor, Fluff

As much as Shuhei appreciates your company, and Ikkaku's and Renji's too, he wishes he didn't have to be around you under these specific circumstances. Human bars are alright — nothing special, let alone a perquisite for celebrations, but he doesn't mind.

However, now he's stuck here listening to you say, "I don't 'fool around'. I fuck around, if you know what I mean," while scratching your nose. Shuhei grimaces. All this because Renji brought up Rangiku and some rumors surrounding you.

Everyone with enough energy to spare in caring had their suspicions, but the ordeal had been on the down-low so far; nothing exact or on the nose had occurred, it'd been mere gossip. Yet here you are, just confirming it as if it's not a big deal. And it's not. Well, it's not to anyone who hasn't been pining after Rangiku for years and, unfortunately for Shuhei, this anyone is him.

He glances at you, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible about his current train of thought. You're good-looking, he'll give you that much, though that's not much of a feat considering how everyone in Soul Society happens to be drop-dead gorgeous for no reason. Still, you don't offer much more to the table.

"You could say it more delicately."

Ikkaku snorts at the redhead's words. "I'm sure you can handle some swear words."

"It really wasn't that bad," you supply. "I could get into the real vulgarities if you want."

"I don't want," Renji argues, but he sounds like an upset toddler, which really doesn't suit him. "Respect your lady friend's privacy."

"Nah, I know her. She wouldn't mind. Not that I was actually about to tell you dumbhead perverts anything, though," you taunt.

"Perverts? You brought it up," Renji says, incredulously.

"Nuh-uh, you started it in the first place," Ikkaku cuts in, smiling sharply. He doesn't care about the ongoing discussion, but he'd be damned if he said riling up Abarai wasn't funny.

Shuhei drones out the rest of it, your pointless quips flying over his head as he stares into the bottom of his glass like some kind of soap opera protagonist pondering his chagrin. He understands the love between Gin Ichimaru and Rangiku Matsumoto to have been profound, poetic, mysterious.

Of course, she's been moving on and it's probably just something casual, but the incongruence sticks out to him.

Speak of the devil and she shall come. Rangiku sneaks up and slides in the seat next to yours, looking pleased with herself, a slight smile curving over her lips in her usual tantalizing way. Her arm is around your shoulders immediately and you don't startle, instead leaning into her touch by instinct.

"Look what the... Hollow dragged in?" you say in place of a greeting.

She rolls her eyes, but the gesture is good-natured. "Don't tell me you guys were drinking before me again. We all know I'll end up winning anyway, but that's a damn disservice."

"I don't plan on getting blackout drunk today," you say, ironically, while taking another sip of your drink.

"Aw, why? That's no fun." Rangiku pouts.

"Well, it's New Year’s. We should make some memories."

"How corny," she drawls, though she moves closer to you, and the amusement in her eyes contradicts her disapproving words.

Finding this a good opportunity to cut in, Shuhei says, "I don't think that's a half-bad idea." There's only so many embarrassing drunkard antics he can handle, and cutting you out of that scheme would help his spirits tremendously.

"Now that the dude with 69 on his cheek is agreeing with me, I'm not sure I'm in the right," you reply with a snort.

Shuhei knits his eyebrows. "You know it's sentimental."

"But it's also 69."

"You're an asshole," Ikkaku remarks through clumsily concealed laughter. Renji downs another shot from next to him, marking almost everyone in the group disinterested in your no-blackout-drinking agenda.

Instead of doing anything drastic, Rangiku lightly runs her nails through your scalp, more or less scratching you like someone would try to placate a bad kitten. "You could be a bit more sensitive," she offers.

You adjust yourself a little, narrowing your eyes pleasantly. "I could be."

Shuhei blinks at the display, not out of bitterness or jealousy. But it dawns on him that Rangiku truly is a special woman once again, possessing the charm and talent to enamour the most eccentric and dangerous of people. You're not known for staying still or being agreeable, yet here you are, wrapped around her finger.

"The first step to being more sensitive would be... An apology?"

Shuhei raises his eyebrow. There has to be some sort of catch to this, it's too straightforward―

"Or maybe we're moving a bit too fast. You could try returning the favor and scratch me a little too, you know, give and take," she corrects herself quickly, a mischievous smile overtaking her face.

You look at her like she's weird, then wipe your hand across her temple in one rough gesture with too much confidence.

She raises an eyebrow as your palm lingers in that place, and suddenly she appears unamused. "What was that?"

"A loving caress?"

"Is that a joke?" she shoots back, trying her best to sound annoyed, though her expression is betraying her.

Renji snorts. "You really suck at anything that isn't beating people up."

"Speaking of," Ikkaku straightens his posture as if these words woke him up from a trance, suddenly possessed by a battle demon instead and he points in your direction, "we need a rematch―"

Before he can finish his trail of thought, you interrupt him with a non sequitur. "I can think of a few other things I can do well. Heh, heh, heh." Rangiku joins in on your unattractive chortling as the two of you squint your eyes at each other and cackle in an incredibly immature display. You up the ante for obnoxiousness by winking at her and she taps her index finger against your thigh here and there.

"Ah, you guys suck," Renji says, a content smile on his face to contrast his words. Though he's probably more happy to be winning the drinking contest against Ikkaku more than anything. "Cheers though."

Shuhei nods sagely. So far, this entire experience has been insufferable.

___

It's dark out by the time you finish at the bar and walk out, a few minutes until midnight. Even though the new regime isn't festive either, not by any reasonable extent of the word, you all decided it would be a waste to spend the entire time inside, considering the only people there were creepy old men. And none of you want to align with creepy old men at any capacity.

"Wanna crash at Orihime's?" Rangiku asks. It's her favorite pastime in the human world.

"But what if she's sleeping?"

"Ikkaku. People are supposed to stay up 'til midnight on New Year's," Shuhei points out, trying his best to sound cool and collected.

"Oh, yeah, kinda."

"Dumbass baldy," you offer to the conversation, snickering.

Ikkaku then decides trying you outside is his best course of action right now, swinging a wild fist in your path, and it's easy to avoid. You laugh at his incompetence, which only makes him angrier, but his tirade about honorable fights gets cut short by him throwing up right then and there.

"Mood killer," Rangiku deadpans, looking at her nails as if they're really interesting.

"Man, I can't believe you've done this. Man," blabbers Renji, comic distress plaguing him.

Shuhei pinches the bridge of his nose. This whole thing has been worse than he expected it to be, which is impressive since he already had the lowest of standards. You give your friend's puke one long, pensive stare while he regains his composure.

His 'composure'.

Turning towards Rangiku, you wrap your hand around her waist and pull her closer, whispering so only she can hear you. "Ok, I've had enough of this. Wanna run away?"

"How scandalous." She giggles. "But yeah, I'm kinda over it, too. You have somewhere in mind?"

You grab her hand and trudge her along with little aim. "Meh. As long as we get away from them."

"Aww, come on, they're not that bad," she argues, quirking her brow. "You know what I was thinking about? If we were back in Soul Society, Captain Hitsugaya would have my ass filling in paperwork."

"Yeah, whatever. It's not like you were gonna do it, anyway." You grace her with a cocky smile, but the gesture is relatively useless ― your facial features are kind of hard to make out in the dark.

"You're making me sound all irresponsible now!"

"You're so cute when you're fake-angry and stuff."

"You're so hot when you're struggling to string together a sentence," she says, a light laugh weaving itself in her tone.

Taller grass brushes her knees, though she's not concerned by this spontaneous walk with neither of you knowing where you're going to wind up. In an unknown area. With little visibility. Though she really doubts there's something around here that could pose a genuine threat to either of you.

You turn towards her and by the movement of your silhouette, she can tell you're flexing, and she doesn't find it hard to recall exactly the type of face you make when you're being a show-off. Rangiku blinks for a moment, processing this information, before she remembers her god-given right to taunt and tease.

"Oh, swoon," she says in a flat tone, holding her hand up to her forehead in response.

You're about to say something too, she assumes along the lines of 'you know you love it though', but a loud sound interrupts your conversation. You both flinch, but soon enough, you realize the fireworks are partly visible from where you're standing. Rangiku watches you while you take a moment to stare up at them with uncharacteristic wonder.

"Must mean it's twelve," you mutter.

"Happy New Year?"

"I think there was something about people kissing at midnight." You sound sleazy when you say it, so Rangiku's expectations wander elsewhere. Towards more engaging activities, perhaps.

"Mhm..."

You give her a quick peck on the lips and retreat, something giddy building up in your stomach, and the fireworks continue going off in the background. She spaces out as if this is the most shocking thing you've ever done, which is strange since she has been there for most of your antics, including the 'Mayuri Sharpie Mustache Incident' that involved an embarrassing amount of scheming.

"Happy New Year to you too."

You've never really kissed her like that before, as silly as that observation might sound. It was usually aggressive, and she'd meet you half-way by matching your fervor. The act itself had never been this innocuous between the two of you.

Rangiku decides she likes it, though. Maybe some things are better left without mysteries and uncertainties ― safe and uncomplex doesn’t always mean boring.

[unohanadaydreams]

One of the things I dislike the most about the fullbringer arc is the way the fights between xcution members and the shinigami give little consideration to who is fighting who and match them up based on looks, pretty much.

Like, if the shinigami had to be there and ruin the momentum of the arc, the least that could’ve been done is take some consideration toward both sides and make some fights like…..mean something.

All of this to say, these are who I wanted to see fight:

Kenpachi vs Yukio

First of all, imagine the unbridled joy that Kenpachi would feel upon seeing he’s been plunged into a space where he gets to cut down roomfuls of monsters. I imagine he’d be so into it, he’d say something about forcing Mayuri to make him something like Yukio’s video game room.

But also, Yukio is a very isolated boy who has trouble communicating with people. His hobby is video games because he can feel fulfilled and apart of something without needing to talk/portray himself “normally”. Imagine how much genuine fun he would start to have, challenging himself to make everything Kenpachi could want, in a genuine attempt to beat him. Not because he loves the thrill of battle because it’s…fun.

He’d start talking to Kenpachi and Yachiru without really realizing, talking trash, and pushing himself with a passion he rarely feels. Yachiru is clinging on to him and urging him on as they watch Kenpachi fight and he doesn’t care. It feels nice. It feels like the hug it is.

He loves playing video games but he loves doing it with other people more. And he doesn’t need to say that, for everyone else in the room to know.

Also Kenpachi popping out of the fullbring with one kid on each shoulder and being like “This kid is on to something. My morning routine just got fucking updated.”

Rukia vs Tsukishima

This would tie in SO well with Rukia’s previous fights and her struggle with her past failures. It would do so much to show that she’s grown even more—that she has more faith in herself and the circumstances that shaped her.

Likewise, Tsukishima would be forced to confront the idea that teachers leave their students. I want to see that struggle surrounding The possibility of a life without Ginjo SOONER. I want to see Tsukishima inserting himself into Rukia’s past, being taught alongside her under Kaien’s tutelage, and his faltering to be reflected by Rukia’s stalwart motion forward.

I want him to get lost in his own abilities, tears sliding down his face as he puts a sword through Ginjo. But wait? No, that was Rukia and…but how could she do that?

I want to see Rukia recognize what he’s struggling through and smile with understanding and bitterness and acceptance because that used to be her too but it’s not anymore. She isn’t just a student anymore, she’s Rukia Kuchiki and she keeps moving.

Ikkaku vs Riruka

Okay, this one is mostly because I want to see Ikkaku running around in a stuffed animal body after being like ‘I’m not gonna fight a human girl like wtf age a few hundred years wouldjya’

But also, I think it would be interesting to see Riruka faced with someone who loves to talk shit and will never shut up, even when it’s bad for them.

Like she’s so used to having the last word and I think she would really benefit from having an honest to god tantrum about this shitty stuffed animal who thinks she has way too much stuff and is just insulting absolutely everything she finds cute and worthy of keeping.

And he’s not even bothered by what’s she saying, he just keeps bringing up how some Yumichika guy always says something similar.

Ikkaku is like ‘seems like you just need some friends’ and Riruka is screaming for him to shut up through tears and this is officially the WORST therapy session anyone could ask for.

He still gets to tell Kenpachi he’s late for lecturing a kid too, so it’s a win.

Renji vs Moe

Okay, so Ikkaku vs Moe was probably the fight I liked the most because it had some good moments, but I think we could ramp it up more with these two.

Both Renji and Moe feel strongly about their captain/masters, they don’t consider themselves able to stand beside them. While Renji has grappled with this in previous arcs, Moe doesn’t even realize how much these feelings are festering inside of him.

I’d also imagine that Moe would feel very familiar to Renji. He’s rough and cocky and doesn’t think too hard about battle beyond showing off hard he can hit.

Besides the whole ‘would your master die for you’, I think it would be more valuable for Renji to ask ‘who are you even fighting for? What are you even doing here? Is this what Tsukishima has been teaching you—to punch trees and swords until you’ve left yourself defenseless?’

Also I want Renji to talk shit about Moe while he’s unconscious so that Rukia can hysterically laugh and ask him why he’s talking about himself ❤️

Byakuya vs Giriko

Okay, hear me out. Both of them wear something that has been inherited through generations and the story of their wives is perfectly antithetical.

Giriko was literally made to compare himself to Byakuya and blithely talk about killing his wife, touching upon something in the Kuchiki he definitely should’ve left alone. And he doesn’t even realize he’s done it.

And Byakuya keeps probing for further information like a masochist and we get one good memory panel of Hisana smiling when Giriko admits his wife died slowly.

It seems more dramatic than it should be but I like Byakuya for his melancholy and if I have to see a battle be about his noble pride, I want something out of it and this is my post.

Hitsugaya vs Jackie

So, this would be one of the quicker battles, because Jackie doesn’t love her fullbring, she just loves that she has people to depend on and love. Also she can only break ice for so long.

I also think that she would have a hard time fighting Hitsugaya because he does look like Yukio and if Jackie is anything, she’s a woman who feels compelled to look after the kids around her. If anything, it would REALLY make her face how she feels about Yukio and the others and how she wants to be with them no matter what.

I feel like Hitsugaya is someone that would really make her hone in to what she does and doesn’t want. She doesn’t want Yukio to end up like him. She doesn’t want to leave her found family. She doesn’t want to end up dead in dirty boots.

Also Jackie being like ‘I feel sort of ashamed for having Yukio pay for everything’ when Hitsugaya mentions how to undue his abilities and Hitsugaya is like ‘god I wish that was Matsumoto saying that to me’.

Tbh, Hitsugaya is really insular so I don’t think he would get much out of the fight. He would absolutely begrudgly let Jackie ruffle his hair and tell him ‘you’re not too bad, kid’ though.

[bleachbleachbleach]

Currently re-reading TYBW in anticipation of the new content and I can't help but be intrigued by the fact that Szayelaporro made enough of an impact on Mayuri that he's-- thinking about him? Vividly hallucinating him???? Whatever is going on there-- in the middle of a battle. Since we don't get a lot of insight into Mayuri's emotional landscape I think it's the first time we really see ANYTHING related to how he maybe feels about past battles

Anon, forgive me, these thoughts are going to be very preliminary because we are 0 for 2 on remembering this scene.

I KNOW, what right do we have to adorn this blog in the mantel of Sunflower Mayuri if we can't even recall his role in TYBW?? (In my defense, while I was cherrypicking bits and pieces to read on behalf of the Zombies, I was like, "hot damn, Mayuri really got around in this arc." I'm honestly not sure there was a single other characters who did more things or went more places or interacted with so many different other characters.)

But I did go and find the panels in question, and they are indeed fascinating! (It's Chapter 643, for those following along.) It's pretty impressive that Subconscious Szayel shows up here, given that it's been almost two years since that fight. Maybe mental time is different for shinigami, since two years is but a drop in the bucket in terms of their lifespan; maybe the memories hold firm because it's like That One Time I Studied Abroad in Hueco Mundo. But here's Szayel, comin' to give Mayuri an off-kilter pep talk:

I like Szayel quite a bit; he's probably my favorite of all the Espada. I liked his fight with Mayuri, too. But I think of all the ways to interpret this extended hallucination, the one that's most interesting to me ends up being pretty impersonal. Like, not thinking about Mayuri and Szayel as individuals with some kind of intense interpersonal relationship but as typology. Maybe Szayel the individual doesn't actually live rent-free inside Mayuri's head, but the fact that a type like him once existed in Hueco Mundo does.

Mayuri sees Hollows as scientific discoveries/lab rats (re: his whole Hueco Mundo caravan, and this extended bit about Arrancar zombies), even after engaging at length with Espada. Mayuri also has strong opinions about how shitty Quincy are. At this moment, he's fighting a war split cleanly between shinigami and Quincy, along ideological lines but also generally existential/essentialist ones. (NB: My grasp of the TYBW's wherefores is VERY limited, because I haven't cherry-picked my way to re-reading those parts yet, but I still feel pretty comfortable in saying this because I am POSITIVE most of the characters involved in this arc know even less than me. Mayuri is not one of them, but that's the general vibe.)

But man, as shitty as Mayuri thinks Quincy are, it's not like he holds the sanctity of shinigami life in high regard, either. He blows up his own men, advertises his desire for no-holds-barred test subjects--and is of course full-willing to modify himself. I think he probably sees this as stretching the boundaries of what "being shinigami" means, rather than leaving the identity behind (that's Aizen's schtick), but the fact that this innate, unyielding, immutable idea of shinigami just isn't that important to him. It's also what this whole big dumb war boils down to, in a way: Quincy right to exist. Shinigami right to exist. Whatever eschatological additions the Soul King stuff brings into all that.

I'm fascinated by a potential reading where, sure, we're talking about Nemu as a perfect scientific achievement (even though there's so such thing, and I firmly believe Mayuri really believes this), but we're also talking about the fact that the thing she is meant to replicate, the horizon she is meant to achieve, is a shinigami. ("Just" a shinigami, albeit idealized around certain subjective parameters Mayuri has defined for the project.)

She's this fantastic scientific achievement, but she's still created in a death god's image, and what's so great about that? This war is being fought for the sake of Soul Society (read: shinigami, fuck Rukongai), so what's so important about the war?

To be fighting in a war that doesn't align with your values (whatever those values are) is a pretty despairing thought. Mayuri just heckled Ikkaku and Yumichika about this earlier in the arc, and deploys similar ironic commentary against zombie Hitsugaya (he's like, "oh, you're probably fine with this horrible, unlivably painful thing I'm about to do to you because it's for the sake of Soul Society, right?"). Hitsugaya and Byakuya also later have a slightly unhinged convo about this later, about fighting for Soul Society vs. fighting for nakama vs. fighting for tomodachi. They come to vastly different conclusions than Mayuri does, but I think are engaged in a similar process of assessment/alignment.

I think Mayuri recognizes that there is no such thing as value-free science. He's certainly not 心優しい (tenderhearted)--I'm thinking about that phrase specifically because that's how he describes Hitsugaya to zombie Hitsugaya--but he's not objective, either. There's no such thing as perfection; there's no such thing as "objective." Nemu getting obliterated? Probably does hurt. He probably does love her, in some very specific definition of the term. But I think it's also a deliberation that's taking place at some higher-order, less personal, archetypal level re: the entirety of the TYBW itself. And Mayuri's basically like, fuck it, eat her, I will make her anew and I will make her better. And there's something in there that's not just about divesting oneself of attachment, or delusions of perfection--it's also about asserting some... viewpoint or vantage point about why the Gotei 13 should be winning this thing.

For Mayuri, whatever that reasons is, it's not noble, nor is it the pure-hearted tomodachi vibes that Ichigo's all in for. Yet whatever it is, it's still something he considers to be setting him apart from Subconscious Szayel. Whatever it is, it looks like Nemuri 8.

[goatbi]

You've been visited by the random OC question fairy! :D ~☆

What do the people in your character's life think of them and why? Is your character concerned with how other people view them?

I’m gonna do like, the top six people Yamichi interacts with, just cause I think that’d be fun? So this might get long. 

Kenpachi: His first impression was her almost winning a fight against Ikkaku, someone who Kenpachi’s had fun in fights with before, while Yamichi wasn’t in shikai, and Ikkaku was. Kenpachi was smart enough to know that if she had been using a bit more power, she would have won that fight, and that excited him. She was powerful, related to someone who already was in his squad and could probably handle herself in a fight with him for a bit, so he was already a bit excited. Then, he ended up getting ~Feelings~ so that was a thing. Now, he really does love her, he just. Doesn’t say that all that often, since Squad Eleven is filled with people that have SUCH emotional constipation, it’s so bad. But, he loves her, and really wants her to be safe. He’s also freaking PUMPED when he finds out she’s a queen? Cause usually they’re super powerful and she was already powerful and a good fight, and now? Oh hell yeah, they’re going out into the middle of that forest and beating the hell out of each other. In love. 

Ikkaku: Ikkaku saw her for the first time and went ‘oh shit is that a dead body?’. Now? He loves her, wants her to be safe, and they take care of each other. They’ve got a pretty good sibling relationship going on. Ikkaku sees her as someone he would have killed and died for without a heart beat, the first person that he would have done that, and it’s a huge deal for him back then. She’s his sister, and now she’s a Queen, and that’s amazing, he watched her grow back into this person, and Ikkaku is so incredibly proud of her. Even if she keeps making the joke that now she’s the older sister. 

Yachiru: She’s always been a bit enchanted by Yamichi. At first, because she was Ikkaku’s sister, and she hadn’t known that Ikkaku even had a family before Yumichika and him showed up together. Yamichi also was the only other female in the upper ranks of Squad Eleven but her, so it was another moment of !!! Hello !!! Friend !!. Later, she still cared a lot about her, but also because Kenpachi seemed to care about her, and if Ken-chan cared about her, that meant she had to be powerful. Yachiru also was super excited when Kenpachi and Yamichi got together, because it was the only sort of mother type figure Yachiru had until now, and Yamichi seemed to care about her just as much Yachiru cared about Yamichi, so it was great for her. 

Yumichika: He first learned about Yamichi from a guilt ridden Ikkaku, a couple years after they had met and had been wandering around together, when Ikkaku told him about leaving her behind, talking about how he couldn’t stay anymore, and how Yamichi couldn’t leave, and how there was really no choice in the matter, but how he always wondered how she was, and if she was still okay, so Yumichika had at first seen her as a young child, since Ikkaku never... said her age, just said ‘younger sister’ and then Yamichi showed up as a fully grown woman, and Yumichika went ‘oh’ so lamsnfasjirgk. They had a bit of a strained thing at first, since Yamichi wanted to do the whole ‘protective sibling’ thing, but they warmed up very quickly, especially when Yamichi started letting Yumichika at her hair, since it was soft and pretty, and Yumichika always has things about things that are beautiful. Yumichika will be the first to admit that he had, at first, only cared about her as an extension of Ikkaku, but now they’re pretty good friends and have days they set aside for full beauty routines that Yumichika wants to try out, and other days that they don’t set aside, for those days where the paperwork piles up and they’re the only two that can do it. 

Ichigo: Their first interaction together, Ichigo thought she was weird. Considering what the interaction was (which isn’t getting revealed since that’s gonna be part of Blocked and Broken) it’s completely understandable and valid, but still funny, that he meets this person whose dating someone he beat the shit out of in the Soul Society, and just sees her as kinda weird and sad. Completely understandable assessment though. She turned into a bit of a mentor in essence to him, coming into the World of the Living out of nowhere, just to show him something neat that she thinks might help him. Yamichi started teaching him kido, despite... being really bad a kido herself. So it’s not going well. Lately, he feels comforted by her presence more, especially during battle. Ichigo feels a bit indebted to her, though not saying why as it’s Another Spoiler, but she’s said multiple times that she Literally Doesn’t See It That Way, Ichigo Please It’s Fine, so he tries to make it up to her in the tiny ways, like she doesn’t know that’s what he’s doing. Just as she’s relearning everything about herself, he’s learning all the fun stuff about being a Soul Reaper and a Hollow, so there’s a bit of kinship there as well. 

Uryu: Another person who was originally a bit like ‘what in the fuck’ towards her, but that’s because he is super intuned to spiritual energy, and Yamichi’s was Fucking Weird when he first met, something he had never felt before. It wasn’t like a Soul Reapers, and it wasn’t like a hollow’s and nothing like a Quincy’s so Uryu had no clue what to make of her. She’s grown on him, a lot, lately, in the fact that she too had no clue what the hell she was (for awhile) and Uryu felt a bit comforted in the fact that she wasn’t secretly malicious and prepared to do Evil And Bad Things. They have a bit of fun training sessions together, both being archers, and they like to talk about the differences between what Uryu does as a Quincy, and what she does with a long bow as her shikai. They’ve formed a bit of a strange friendship together, and Uryu cares about her a good amount.

And Yamichi... doesn’t really care too much about how she’s perceived. She’s who she is, and if they don’t like that, then sucks. She’s not gonna change herself constantly to be palatable to people who don’t care about her. It did take awhile to get to that point, but she’s there now.

[gildedmuse]

So I seem to remember promising more Sora: Warrior Of The Sea Beach Episode. And by "seem to remember" I mean, it's in writing and thus hard to ignore. So despite the fact that none of you care, guess what? You're getting more of this ZoLaw AU.

First off, every member of the cast and crew understands the purpose of a beach episode: to waste time at the beach. Which means that everyone pulls up with swim trunks, blankets, grills and umbrellas. They are basically there to have a beach vacation.

I say everyone. Not Law. Law does not come prepared to party, he comes prepared to be pissy. But like everyone else (Yes, even Mihawk. Though technically only due to Shank's influence. Shanks forces him is what I'm saying. "Hey, even Beckmen is joining in the fun!" / "Benn always joins in these ridiculous games." / "What? My Beckmen? No! He's usually so mature and serious." / "He only seems that way compared to you. Because you are a child.")

The resulting shoot is pretty much pure chaos. Perona and Hancock are more interested in sunbathing than acting. Killer is kicking everyone's ass at volleyball. Franky and Ace are having a grill off to see who makes the better hamburgers and hot dogs (Sanji would totally win except that Pudding-Chan is right there and in a bikini and look, at some point it's difficult to care about things that aren't that.) Zoro and Luffy, meanwhile, are pretty much exactly the children you expect them to be, much to Robin's amusement. Look, she wrote a scene where Sora and Daichi "play wrestle" in the sea, but it has nothing on the actual thing. Because Zoro can often be oblivious and because, you know, Luffy she is sure they don't mean for it to look so homoerotic. It's just a shame Nami isn't here to capitalize on this. She could definitely sell Zoro pinning Luffy to the sand or Luffy wrapping around Zoro like he's made of rubber for more than a few quid.

Law is not enjoy this shoot.

Even when Benn finally gains enough control to start getting actual work done (you'd be surprised how authoritative Mihawk can be even in purple swim trunks) it soon becomes clear that this is going to be a longer than normal shoot. Not because the logistics, just people are not even trying. Ace will just start smiling in the middle of a scene where he shouldn't be smiling, and because Zoro really takes his cues on acting from Ace he'll immediately start smiling regardless of the line. Then Sanji will get angry with them both, which Pudding will think is adorable, thus leading to Sanji forgetting the script entirely to pay attention to her. Perona will tell Zoro off and get too close in his face, which will make Luffy jump in to "protect his virtue" (on order from Nami) which will make Boa jealous because how dare another woman be so close to her Luffy. Which will make Ace and Zoro annoyed which will make Robin giggle, which will distract Franky which will ultimately lead to the effects not working like they should, which will cause Shachi, Penguin, and Ikkaku to huddle up (definitely not them just laying on the sand and enjoying the day out) which of course gets Shanks and Mihawk's attention. Shanks tries to separate Perona and Luffy while Mihawk gives Zoro and Ace The Look which, despite his still authoritative aura is SLIGHTLY less effective when he's standing there in just swim trunks. Curse Shanks. So in the end, with a heavy sigh, he has to go train instruct Zoro in what he should actually be doing in the scene which somehow ends up with his hands at Zoro's bare waist as he goes through it all yet again.

Law HATES this. Fucking. Shoot.

Which is why he is so close to just leaving, as per Robin's suggestion. They don't need him there. Clearly. They can all get along quite well without him. It's obvious now that Law's real job is babysitting and at this particular location all attempts to be an adult are fruitless.

So Law is all set to leave but then Zoro gets out of the ocean, dripping wet, and heads towards his drink which Law happens to be standing beside. Not watching. Definitely. If anything, glaring. And he tries to keep glaring out at Luffy and Ace messing around as Zoro takes a nice long drink, eyes clearly focused on Law.

Which isn't distracting.

Zoro: Aren't you hot?

Law: *Takes a second to process what that actually means, covering by his continued glare* These are work appropriate clothes, Zoro-ya. Not all of us have forgotten why we're here.

Zoro: *Snorts* RIght. You can't be seen having fun, isn't that so Torao?

Law: *Turning his glare towards Zoro which is maybe a mistake because skin and water and mouth and eyes* I'm only being practical.

Zoro: That sounds boring *Reaching out to grab the end of Law's shirt* You should come have fun with us, Torao. You might even enjoy it. *Sideways smirk that is far too dangerous in nature, anyone with self preservation instincts would run*

Law: *Doesn't run* I… *Is older than Zoro and more experienced than Zoro and always the one to make suggestive comments to Zoro so how is it Zoro has currently got his hands wrapped in Law's shirt while Law seems unable to speak?* I didn't even bring-

Zoro: *Stepping closer, raising Law's shirt up a few inches to show his intent* It's just the crew, it's not like anyone will care.

Law: It wouldn't be very appropriate, Zoro-ya…. *Come on! He's half stripping you down! Be flirty or clever or mysterious or hell just step back and make him stop if you can't come off as at least competent. What the hell is wrong with you? Fuck, he's so close. And there's this trail of water falling from his hair to his lips. Fuck.*

Zoro: Look around. No one here is trying to be "appropriate" Torao. *Steps closer, feeling safe. Feeling cocky. Today has been all sword fights with Killer and sea fights with Luffy and Ace. Can you blame him for being in a good mood? And Law needs to join in, obviously. He's standing up here on the beach looking so miserable and serious. What he needs is to be dragged into the water and force to actually have some fun.* Unless…. *Cocks his head, looking Law over* You can swim, can't you?

Law: I - *It'd be nice if he could swallow right now because it definitely feels like he's going to start drooling. That damn water is curving up on the underside of Zoro's lower lip and he's so close. Law could lap that up for him. Could pin Zoro down and just….*

Zoro: *Beaming* It's alright. Luffy can barely swim, either. *Nods out to the water where currently Luffy is splashing around, riding on Ace's shoulders*

Law: *Eyes go to Luffy and Ace for once second and when he looks back Zoro seems so much closer.*

Zoro: *Still smiling even as he starts to peel off Law's shirt* Come on. *Tugging him by the arm, despite the fact he's still in his jeans and no wait he didn't agree to this!* We'll go together.

Law: *Manages to get Zoro to stop long enough to peel off his jeans so he's down to his boxers, which Zoro flushes at and isn't that what he meant? He can't be so inexperienced. Fuck, Law just wants to ruin this boy, he really does. But then Zoro is back to shoving him towards the sea, happily announcing to Ace and Luffy that he has a fourth and what does that even mean? What has Law gotten himself into?*

It turns out to be an overly competitive game of chicken (both Ace and Zoro really take it far too seriously while Luffy is clearly there for fun but also will break Law's nose if it comes down to it). Which means Law has his legs wrapped around Zoro, whose hands are curled up around his thighs and this could not get any worse.

He thinks.

Totally unaware that Robin has her phone out and is capturing this entire magical moment. And when Franky sits beside her asking why she's filming them fighting she just gets this smile that makes him want to unask because he knows Robin.

Mihawk has to eventually call the boys out to shoot a scene. He stands at the edge of the water with his typically displeased look. Law would feel so much more ashamed if Zoro hadn't chosen to just drop him slightly so Law's legs are wrapped around his waist, and carried him out of the water like that. Law tries to give his boss an apologetic look but it's difficult when he's so wrapped around Zoro, and Zoro's hands keep finding new places on his legs to hold him up. (And maybe Mihawk shouldn't look at actors who work for him that way. And maybe Mihawk should spend less time instructing Zoro. And maybe Mihawk can go to hell because Law has called dibs on this one. This one is his.)

(Also, thank you for this opportunity, Mihawk-san)

(Also, did Zoro really need to flash that smile at Mihawk? Did Mihawk's face just soften slightly? Isn't he like twice Zoro's age? He should really-)

Then Zoro drops him on the sand, and he's leaning over Law, practically on top of him. All other thoughts basically stop.

Zoro: *Beaming* See? Wasn't that better than just sitting around?

Law: *Forgets how breathing works for just a moment, and is way too out of breath by the time he recalls the process. So his mind goes into default Defensive Mode. He frowns* You just wanted a chance to beat Mugiwara-ya.

Zoro: Well… *Shrugs, like obviously. That isn't really the point, is it? Since he chose Law?* You did well Torao. For a beginner.

Law: *Crossing his arms across his chest, which is difficult with Zoro right there. Looks to the side, determined not to give a single inch* I don't like being used Zoro-ya.

Zoro: Right. *Frowns, pushing away from Law* It was Luffy's suggestion anyway.

Law: *Carefully glancing back* What was?

Zoro: *No longer looking at Law* To come get you. Tch. Like I would ever want to pair up with you, Torao. *Pushes off the sand, stalking off towards Mihawkk and the shoot*

Law: *Pushes himself up onto his elbows, watching Zoro go. Can't help feeling like he really messed up.*

Robin: Perhaps you should be more careful with our stuntman's feelings.I suggest next time you be more honest with him.

Law: *Doesn't jump at Robin's sudden appearance next to him. Totally.* There won't be a next time. This is a pointless waste of an episode and the studio will see that.

Law: *As an afterthought* And I was honest.

Robin: *Sets a hand on Law's shoulder in a quiet moment of commiseration*

Also Robin: I have it all on tape if you wish to watch it back. *Leaves*

Law: *Hates this fucking episode*

Law: ….. *Maybe wants to examine that tape.*

[rubidusmagnet]

Dirty Things Kept Secret 18+ KidLaw-> LawKid  (1/2) ch

Just Bi guys being Bi, nothing to see here unless you want too.... anyways, this idea stems from the recent thread with @ikkaku-of-heart (It’s Thanks to you this came out) So If you read through that, you’ll get to see what Kid does to Law’s tats among other things in as great a detail I could manage. Naughty stuff under the cut If it actually works this time around.

"The fuck is this crap?" Eustass Kid spit his mouthful of booze all over the bar counter he sat at, angrily swinging the mug in the air to indicate openly to the bartender his unsatisfaction of the quality or rather lack of, their alcohol flavoring. Clearly scared by the Redheads rant, the scared witless young man hurried over with a rag to clean the mess up before skittering back to other customers who gave Kid a wide berth in stool room. 'Screw them for pissing their pants over me, If they can't even handle the likes of me, they'll never hope to handle worse customers.' As if the gods above heard his angry mutterings of cowardly patrons, a certain smooth baritone reached his ears from near the entrance of the tavern. "Oi Eustass-ya I see your ugly mug still repels everyone around you."

lifting his gaze so that he can meet Trafalgars golden one, Kid grinned, "Its's bout time your ass showed up, I almost thought you dropped dead or something." merely amused at the jab to his tardiness, law explained "It couldn't bet helped, It was hard enough being able to get away from my crew so that we could rendezvous here."

It really couldn't, just recently because both crews have been meeting each other frequently on islands leading up to the end of paradise, both captains had declared the beginning of their secret trysts in order to let off any steam or frustration they might have from being on the seas for a while. They had agreed that the details of these meetings would not be revealed even though Kid at least wanted to be able to brag about how he banged the Heart Pirates captain it was considered a moot point and so he reluctantly dropped the topic in favor of maintaining a sexually beneficial relationship.

Both scarlet and gold eyes flashed in knowing of the fun that was about to begin. "So shall we take this 'discussion' elsewhere Eustass-ya?"

"Took the words right out of my mouth, but you're still as mannerless as always bastard."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Both men hardly entered the rented hotel room before Kid swiftly turned to harshly shove Laws back up against the door, being sure to use his other hand to lock the door behind him so that they wouldn't potentially have any interruptions. And just as harsh as the shove, Kid ducked down to crash their lips together aggressively. dark lipstick meshing with smooth tan lips and a rough rub of a scratchy goatee. Both tongues met in the middle in a battle for dominance, Kid knew he had the better physical strength so he continued to tease Trafalgar with the idea of winning by allowing his tongue to slip somewhat into his own mouth before turning the tide and shoving his back into the others mouth.

Reluctantly pulling away from the other, Kid moved further into the room, paying very little attention to the bland furniture the room had to offer when some of it was likely to get broken anyway. 'That poor bed won't know what hit it.' He was abruptly interrupted in his thoughts by hands grabbing him around the waist to spin him around and abruptly push him onto his back on the bed.

Looking up in barely hidden surprise, He saw a rather annoyingly smug Law standing at the foot of the bed with his yellow and black hoodie and tank top already stripped off to reveal a plethora of tribal patterned tattoos. And even though they've done this old song and dance a few times already, he still couldn't help but admire the ink over tanned skin, paving a picture over a skin canvas.

As always, Law had a snarky remark in response, "Keep staring at me like that Eustass-ya and I might think you have feelings for me." Sneering in disbelief, Kid jeered back exactly how he thought about such a blasphemous accusation. "In your dreams Trafalgar, all this talk makes me think the same of you, you know the only thing ya got going for ya is that tight ass of yours."

"Yeah Yeah, if you're done talking, I think there is much better uses for that loud mouth of yours." Getting, back up off the bed, Kid reversed the situation by promptly tossing Law onto the bed with an 'oomph!' "Like hell I'm gonna do anything from down there while you get to stand, I know what your game is, you were hoping I suck ya off or even let ya fuck my throat you bastard! just because I have an oral fixation doesn't mean you get to abuse it!"

Turning so that Kid could move to crawl onto the bed over Law he stated with a salacious sneer. "If I'm gonna do that, your gonna just have to take it my way." Having figured out by now that the controlling little shit would protest to that, He made damn sure to use one of his arms to keep him pinned. It was also a way for Kid to show off his superior strength to the other, since these little 'meetings' always held a power struggle.

Both men held large egos that came to blows whenever they met, leading either to a fight where both exasperated crews had to separate them to avoid too much injury. Or in the satisfaction of a good fuck when both gave their all in a different form of battle.

Law responded with a huff after finally forfeiting the struggle for now at least. "You've always been such a brute Eustass-ya and you fuck like one too." Kid gave his rival one last wild leer before turning his attention to the tanned skin of the others chest. "And yet you love it dont'cha? being fucked by this wild beast." Whatever smart-assed comment the surgeon of death was about to make was caught in his throat in a surprised cry when Eustass dragged his attentive mouth over a dusky nipple to give it a sharp nip, leaving the bud to instantly harden at the attention laved on it.

As long as Kid would prefer it, he hopes to keep that smart mouth of his either shut or too busy spouting pleasured sounds to do anything, but he can't have his way can he? As he he gave the other nipple the same attention, he felt a hand palm the back of his head, threading fingers through the flaming locks before abruptly tightening their hold to give a sharp tug on them. The reaction was almost instant as the sensation travelled down Kid's spine, leaving goosebumps in it's wake.

"Fuck off Trafalgar, you know how sensitive my scalp is!" not that he was really gonna complain because after all, such a sensation was actually extremely pleasurable to him but like hell he would ever admit it out loud to one of his fellow rivals and super rookie. The only response he got was a unapologetic smirk from a certain surgeon, an all too knowing glint reflecting off of those golden irises.

To get back at him, Kid left a bite hard enough to draw some blood and to leave a nice mark over the stupidly grinning jolly roger in the middle of the large heart tattoo. an almost unbecoming yelp tore out of the others mouth, leaving a victorious grin to decorate Kid's face. "What the hell! are you some kind of fucking vampire or what?" after recovering from the pain the smug bastard had to add. "Well now that I think of it you do pull off the image quite well considering how pale you are."

Unfortunately for Kid, he walked right into that one by also laving at the spot, cleaning up the blood he spilled. He wasn't someone who enjoyed the taste of blood especially from himself, he just didn't want blood to get on the bed sheets because then questions would really be raised by the hotel staff. "Just shut up and let me do my thing, unless you want me to bite your dick off when I get to it?" hearing no response from the other, Kid continued on his path all the way down to the surgeons navel, where a short thin trail of dark hairs lead down to the intended prize currently pushing an impressive tent in spotted jeans.

Undoing the others belt buckle and absentmindedly unzipping the fly, Kid spent a brief time nosing the others smooth tan skin, feeling little twitches from the muscles beneath at the stimulation. Finally exposing the dark briefs the other was wearing, Kid roughly palmed it in his left hand while moving to tug those pesky jeans off with his right. The smart ass finally moved to help by lifting his hips to help it along while also groaning at the friction increase he got from doing so.

Once it got down to his knees, kid swiftly and roughly yanked the pants off the other to a cry of "Hey!' before moving in for the kill. He lowered himself down, using both arms to spread Law's legs apart for better access he ducked down to nuzzle the straining bulge at the impatient mutterings of man ahead of him. Just as he felt another hand move to grab his head and press his face down, Kid swatted the offending appendage away in annoyance. "Keep ya paws off until I get to the goods damnit!"

With that said, Kid finally made to roughly remove Law's briefs in a manner which garnered yet another fit of whining from the other. "Watch how you handle that you damned brute! you almost tore them!" "Oh those aren't what you should be worried about me tearing Trafalgar." Instead of emphasizing what he meant to the other mans inquiry. He instead chose to begin what he was planning to do, which was making this smug bastard come apart from his mouth alone, with little help from his hands.

He gave teasing little kitten licks to the head of Law's cock, lapping up the little excess of precum that was leaking out of the tip. Having enough with teasing since he wasn't as nearly as much of a bastard as Law in that department, Kid took the whole head in his mouth giving a generously hard suck which only resulted in said bastard getting grabby again and tugging harshly on crimson locks, which without even asking, pulled the elastic of his goggles off to toss god knows where in order to push untamed bangs back in a fistful.

In response, Kid snarled around the mouthful of cock, threatening with a graze of sharp canines before pulling away to give a sharp response. "You watch where you throw those you bastard! They are-" "Yes I know already Eustass-ya, they're some sort of family treasure to you but by now you should know how little I care about that with you, now if you don't mind why don't you get back to sucking me off like a good boy hm?

Growling animalistically at the others half-lidded arrogant face, but unwilling to just drop the sexual tension they had going. Kid went back to where he was but not before declaring darkly to the other male. "If I see so much as a CRACKin those lenses I'll make you pay asshat." "Yeah yeah you say that now but- Oh fuck~."

Whatever comment Law was about to make was abruptly cut off as Kid dove to immediately take half of his length in one go, which was no easy feat considering the size, but Kid always considered himself quite orally talented which was exactly why the other chose to take advantage of such skills for his own use whenever possible.

Considering how his anger from the treatment of his goggles had yet to abate, Kid briefly considered reaching up with one hand to grasp Trafalgar's balls before crushing them to bits in a fist. He immediately crossed such a suicidal idea from his mind because as much as he would enjoy the look of sheer agony from having his most precious jewels crushed, he knew all he had to do was reach for his Nodachi leant against the night stand and decapitate him, most likely without the use of his powers.

Instead, since such a thought was so vivid, Kid did in fact reach with his right arm to cup the others balls, but gently, and with a little fondling mixed in with his fingers.  Hearing another pleased sigh escape the others lips at the action, Kid briefly looked up to only see Law's goatee covered chin with his head thrown back against the arm he was now laying his head on. taking the chance, he nervously eyed the Nodachi that ruined his brief brutal desire with a comical drop of sweat dripping down his forehead.

Refocusing himself on the task at hand. Kid slowly continued his downwards ascent until finally, his nose reached the patch of dark pubic curls at the base of Law's shaft. Having recovered from the earlier surprise deep throat, Law kept a tattooed hand atop red locks, putting a little pressure in order to ensure the other kept his head in place like that. He purred at the lewd picture Kid made, fiery eyes looking up at him in defiance despite having a throbbing cock lodged as deeply as it could go down his throat. "Who would've though the mighty Eustass 'Captain' Kid to be such a cockslut?"

To put emphasis on the meaning, Law allowed Kid to raise his head slightly before abruptly thrusting upwards, causing the man to choke suddenly, which Law enjoyed the sudden tightening around his cock very much. Pressing against a non-too resisting hand in order to take deep gulps of air, Kid looked absolutely wrecked already with the saliva mixed in precum dripping from his smeared lips and chin. "That was a dirty move shithead." The surgeon gave a calm lazy response in contradiction to Kids panting. "A dirty move which you should be used to by now Eustass-ya unless you mean to tell me you can't handle it?"

With the clear challenge given, Kid's pride would not allow the other the smug satisfaction in assuming things of him, and any challenge given was to be completed ten fold!

With new determination alighting his expression, Kid dove back down to suck with fervor, occasionally bobbing his head deeply to briefly touch the base before starting the whole process again, limiting his hands to either hold down tanned hips more firmly or to fondle and caress the balls beneath. Law himself was beginning to feel the effects of such efforts it seemed as Kid could feel the other's cock begin to twitch more frequently to hit the roof of his mouth.

It didn't stop however, the flow of filthy words the cocky surgeon threw down at him. "Now that I think of it, hah~ you look much better like this Eustass-ya with a dick shoved down your tight throat, I wonder what would everyone think of you if they knew this side of you, they most certainly would lose their fear for you I'm certain of it."

As much as it angered Kid's dominant side to be demeaned verbally like this, it did absolutely everything to bring an inferno into his painfully tight pants by this point. Absentmindedly, Kid moved a hand not assisting him in pleasuring the other down to unzip his fly in order to yank his own hardon out to stroke away some of the unbearable tension pooling there as Law continued on." I know I prefer you like this, significantly less yapping then before. Maybe I should do this to shut you up whenever you get on my nerves, I won't have to hear any of your ridiculous drivel and I get to release sexual tension all at once."

As Law grew closer to the end, Kid moved both hands to hold the other down, preventing anymore hip movement as he had learned from before. However doing so meant Law had all the control over his head from above which the little shit took advantage of quickly. Placing both palms on either side of Kids face, Law made to slam him down all the way onto his cock as it throbbed wildly now. "Swallow every last drop Eustass-ya."

As this was said, Kid could do nothing but take the load that was being shot down the back of his throat, tempted as he was to keep some of the seed pooling in his mouth in order to spit it back at the bastards face, He knew better than to do something that would likely start a fight when he too needed to take care of his own needs. So once the jets of white fluid finally slowed to a twitching stop, Kid made to pull away as soon as possible in order to swallow down the surprisingly large amount of seed left over. 'So it seems he must be really pent up too then'.

Unfortunately for him, Law wouldn't allow him a moment to get the salty taste out of his mouth completely, taking advantage of the daze he was in in order to roughly pull him up to smash their lips together and gaining dominance for the first time tonight by being able to explore Kids mouth without being pushed out, taking in the taste of his own salty liquid clinging to teeth. Pulling away He had the gall to smirk at Kid. "Should I take this daze to mean I get to top this time around."

Making a recovery in order to spat back "Like hell you will after the stunt you pulled I'll have to punish you for that." Kid roughly manhandled Law's body but not before catching a glimpse of a certain slightly lipstick smeared appendage. "Have fun cleaning that up jerk." A little confused at what he meant, Law looked down there before giving the other a vicious glare.

Which for all intents and purposes of intimidating lesser foes, did absolutely nothing in deterring Kid from fully maneuvering the other onto his hands and knees.

"Now why don't you be a good boy and keep your ass up in the air for me eh?" Kid guffawed when he saw the other look over his shoulder to glare at him once more, this time accompanied by the old middle finger salute. Pulling back to sit on his knees, Kid finally got to undressing himself fully, removing his coat to toss it aside along with his vest and weapons belts too. He took a second to retrieve the necessary lube and condom from a pants pocket before quickly discarding that and his boxers as well.

Moving to kneel behind the other, Kid opened up the cap before pouring a generous amount of lube onto his fingers. using his left hand, he settled over the massive jolly roger adorning his rivals back to balance him self.

Without any verbal warning, Kid roughly shoved a thick finger into the others hole on the first go at it. Hearing a sharp hiss in response to the intrusion, Kid could only smirk as it was his way of getting back at the other for treating him like some disposable street whore earlier. From what he could see, Law had his head bent low, with both hands clenching the sheets like a lifeline, significantly wrinkling the fabric in the process.

And because Kid is not known to be a very kind person especially to certain rivals that get under his skin a lot, Kid shoved yet another slicked finger in after only thrusting the singular digit a few times, deeming the twitching orifice more than ready for another.

Gradually, Kid was rewarded with muffled groans which Kid tsked at, annoyed that Law was trying to hold back on him. To fix this, He used the hand laying over his back to grab a fistful of dark blue locks and yank his head up off the pillow. "It's no good if I can't hear you ya know? someone like you shouldn't be afraid to get a little noisy."

Hackles raised by the taunt, The lanky surgeon immediately hissed back in a dark tone. "Well maybe you should consider the fact that you aren't doing enough to please me Eustass-ya." and yet another challenge was posed by the other, 'I bet the bastards doing this on purpose to maximize his pleasure but damnit all if it isn't working!'

Keeping the internal struggle to himself, but not hiding the dark fiery look taking over his eyes. Kid's physical response was to hammer home three fingers, his typical maximum for partners considering the thickness of his fingers. And THATbrought an immediate and keening loud response from Law, one the other could not hide even if he wanted to. This time it was Kid's turn for some dirty talk of his own.

"Well look at that, it looks like that got you going jackass. As cool and collected as you like to act, seeing you moan unrestrained paints such a pretty picture. I'll have to think of this the next time I jack off."

After a while of hammering the others prostate, Kid finally pulled his fingers free with a lewd 'shlick' sound accompanying the withdrawal. At the same time, Kid finally let go of the others head, deeming it time to get on with the main event sooner rather than later.

Moving so that he hovered over the smaller males back, he took the time to trace the black lines of that damning Tattoo over with his tongue before leaving a nice bite mark over the smiley portion on the tanned skin so that it could be seen in a mirror later.

Lining himself up with the slick entrance. Kid only gave one warning in the form of his own challenge to the other male. "If you can even still move after I'm through with you, Then maybe I'll let you take the reigns Law." said man's eyes widened as that was the first time Kid had chosen to call him by his first name.

He had little time to process that though as without hesitation, Kid took one hard thrust until his hips pressed flush with Laws ass. "You see? If you really didn't like being fucked so much your ass wouldn't be trying to devour my cock like this eh, Trafalgar?" ah, there he goes back to the last name again he knew it wouldn't last.

After sitting still for a little bit due to the force with which Law's walls were clamping down on Kid's dick, He finally began to move starting with slow but heavy thrusts that left a resounding 'Slap' of skin meeting skin each time their hips met.

For a while, all that could be heard aside from that was the rythmic creaking of the bed frame and the low grunts and growls both men gave. That temporary non-verbal silence was broken when Kid swung a hand down to smack one of Law's ass cheeks hard enough to leave a reddening imprint. This resulted in a surprised shout from law who, if looks could kill, Kid would be dead on the floor now.

But once again, Kid was impervious to that stare, knowing that as Law was now, he wouldn't dare do anything unless he wants to give himself a case blue balls. To check just to be certain, Kid reached the same hand down between the others thighs to grasp the leaking hard shaft he found there. Grinning at this Kid couldn't resist a little prodding.

"Look at this, Your eyes are telling me to go fuck myself but I can clearly tell whose the one that really wants to get fucked here. Starting his thrusts up again, this time harder and faster so that the headboard of the bed now began to clang against the wall. Kid also moved to stroke Law in time to his thrusts as now it wouldn't be long until they both hit their highs.

And right on time too, he felt the shaft in his hand give a tell tale twitch in preparation for the second orgasm of the night, while Kid was quickly approaching his first. It didn't mean he was out of it yet, it would just take a short bit until he could hopefully initiate another round knowing that his rival could keep up with his impressive stamina.

The first to come undone was Law, who came with a shout all over the sheets below them, Kid made a mental note to toss those aside when they inevitably continued, because neither really planned to stick around long enough to snuggle over night. The mere thought almost had kid choking back bile coming up his throat. A mutually beneficial relationship such as theirs had no room to grow with prides far too big to be pushed aside.

It took a few more hard thrusts before Kid finally began to come undone as well with a louder groan, Quickly removing himself from the pliant body beneath him, Kid was fast in removing the condom in order to jerk himself off to completion. The result of which was in painting the now thoroughly marked up jolly roger on Law's back in shades of white, black, and reddened tan skin. It made for a beautiful portrait in Kids eyes, it was a shame he had no way of taking a picture for later use.

As his cock began to soften and shrink, Kid made to properly dispose of the used condom in his other hand, aiming just right with his toss to the nearby trash bin before collapsing down to rest himself, burying his face into a soft pillow for a brief while.

However unbeknownst to him, Law laid beside him, having turned over on his back after wiping his himself off, stared at the ceiling before a wicked smirk came over his face with a particularly evil gleam in his golden eyes. Softly summoning a 'Room' so that Kid couldn't hear in his drowsy state, Law quickly teleported a silky black band up to his hands along with his own lube and condom (because like hell he would ever use that grease Kid called lube.) He dismissed the room and mentally prepared himself for the due revenge he intended on exacting on Kid while also taking this next opportunity to take control for himself.

[midasgutz]

we finished the bleach anime. it was alright, the ending definitely suffered from the problems every shounen anime inherently does towards the end. i hear the manga actually continues to escalate after this, i might be interested in seeing what that looks like since i hear the anime is coming back. im pretty disappointed in a couple things though. we didnt get to see nel again, which is just utter bullshit. after she transformed, she had her little fight and Lost. and then we never saw her again. i consider that a plot hole to be honest. to my knowledge, we didnt even see orihime heal her. she was a fantastic and fun character, she needed more time to be her self. her little self, if you ask me. another thing, they killed gin like right after the first time he ever did anything. he was such an empty character and they never explained him. why would a kid decide to do what he did? what happened to make rangiku love him so much? this dude basically threw his whole life in the trash to pursue one single goal that he could have achieved if he just opened up to the other soul reapers. i cant decide if this was always the plan for his character, or if kubo just forgot about him so long he decided to make him a secret good guy. like, oh this bad guy has never done anything bad... i guess he's a good guy now? he never got any resolution to his character even though the twist was actually pretty cool and it could have been awesome if they bothered to explore it for an episode or two. but they really didnt, it was just a shallow twist even though i sorta saw it coming. i was always defending him to my mom cause he rly never did anything. she hated him cause he was a douche but you have to be kind of a dick to roll with aizen so... anyway the visoreds really fucking suck. we hardly even saw any of them release their zanpaktou, and even though they were incredibly cool characters they never did anything. hiyori was an amazing character, with a lot of personality and great jokes. who never did anything. she was literally around only so she could job to ichigo once or twice in training, and fail at every single thing she ever does. shinji was the most developed visored, and he didnt do anything. his release was cool but we never saw his bankai. when they revealed that he was a captain, it was a really big surprise! but he never ever measured up to the best of the current captains. kenpachi would destroy him. byakuya would destroy him. he might be able to win against toshiro or the badger guy, but i kind of doubt it. he has to have a bankai to be a captain but he never even tried to use it on aizen, who he has a fucking super grudge against. the dude ruined his life and permanently changed his friends. he got him sentenced to death! but shinji couldnt do anything, anything at all against aizen. to be honest, he seemed a lot weaker than mashiro who was an actual joke character. then, and i consider this another plot hole, they game kaname a resurreccion. the fact that he, as a visored, has a bankai and a resurreccion strongly implies that EVERY visored has one. including ichigo himself. and shinji, hiyori, mashiro, all of the visored crew. so the fact that we never see any of the visoreds bankai OR resurreccion..

why even have them fight? we have interesting characters who dont fight in this show, why even bother? i dont get it. the coolest and best character in bleach, in the whole show, turned out to be ikkaku madarame. who initially appeared to be a fuckup only meant for ichigo to waste an episode or two on. the guy has an interesting set of priciples, he has a distinct goal and not to mention a really cool underused bankai. we only saw it once, but it was amazing and it really suits him. he was such a cool guy and he doesnt get to do anything either. he had 1 real fight against an arrancar who to my knowledge wasnt an espada. but hiyori? nothing. she fought a couple fractiones and couldnt even beat any of those alone. not even 1 of them. those fractiones probably had better backstory than she did. urahara was really mysterious through most of the show. im not sure if i really like his motives more than i liked him as a mysterious force pushing the plot forward for unknowable reasons. yoruichi was never ever explained, like at all. her motive was just that she wanted to help urahara. like i get rescuing him from his death sentence, i get wanting to help the visoreds. but she left everything for him? she really never got to be her own person after that. she was a shallow character. and another super power character who never lost, but doesnt have a fucking bankai! what!!! if she or urahara whipped out their bankai the show would have just been over. seriously they always could have beaten aizen, up until he became a monster by fusing with the hogyoku. even then probably! they NEVER lost a single fight!!! how am i supposed to believe they couldnt play a bigger role, or even solve the problem themselves? i dont even think i ever saw them seriously injured. they're invincible, over a hundred years old, definitely have bankais but never use them... but they spend all of their time manipulating people into doing their work for them.

[recurring-polynya]

It is time, once again, friends, for me to watch a Bleach Filler Arc and tell you about it. It is time for the Zanpakutou Rebellion.

I wasn’t really sure I wanted to do this one for a number of reasons, but we watched the second episode last night, and it featured Rukia and Renji fighting back-to-back, and sorry fam, we’re doing this, you’re getting the full force of my zanpakutou spirit headcanons whether you want them or not.

Chrome updated and stopped letting me take screenshots a while ago and I am too lazy to figure out another way, so I figured it would be easier to just illustrate these myself. Let’s see how this goes.

Okay, one thing up front. My attitude towards Bleach filler has always been that it’s just for fun, and it’s up to you, the reader/viewer, whether you want to take any of it as canon or not. I, personally, do not accept this story arc as canon, but I honestly don’t care if you do. My main problem is that I don’t think zanpakutou spirits should be humanoid as a rule, although I do headcanon that most zanpakutou can choose how to manifest themselves, and so they may have a humanoid representation, but that’s not necessarily how they usually appear, which also explains why a lot of the shinigami has trouble recognizing their zanpakutou. I also think Muramasa made Hozukimaru put on that skirt, Hozukimaru has the demeanor of a being who does not believe in pants of any variety.

Anyway, as usual, I am ahead of myself. We starts in a cave that looks exactly like the cave from the Bount arc, with some ominous stuff, but I don’t care, I want to talk about Byakuya! Fighting! Renji!  

I think every filler arc has an OP with Byakuya fighting Renji that never actually happens, but right here! First episode! Byakuya fighting Renji while Squad 6 stands around and jeers! Kyouraku and Ukitake are here, too, for some reason! It’s super lit! Byakuya stops paying attention halfway through, but he wins anyway and negs Renji a little, and Renji thanks him for the fight very earnestly and Kyouraku and Ukitake tell Renji he did a good job. This is honestly all I want out of Bleach filler. This is my happy place. Thank you, Zanpakutou Arc for these beautiful Squad 6 hijinks.

As if I weren’t on a big enough high, now we cut to Squad 10, where Matsumoto is lounging on the Crash Couch. Hinamori and Isane come in to hand-deliver an invtation to a vice-captains meeting (Aren’t they just… like… on Wednesdays?) and to complain about their zanpakutou (boy, I wish we got to see Isane’s zanpakutou in this arc!! But no!!) Matsumoto, once again, claims to be training for bankai, mostly by complaining a lot. Hitsugaya grumps around, grumpily.

All of this is so, so perfect, I just need a trip with Iba to the shinigami pub, but instead, everyone gets a mysterious invitation from the Captain Commander to come to Soukyoku Hill at midnight. Really? I would not go.

Regardless, everyone goes. This scene is great because there are too many characters standing around and this is filler meaning the animators phoned it in, so whenever one character is talking, there are at least three people in the background not moving and making a facial expression that does not go with whatever else is going on. For example, Sasakibe shows up and falls over, and his body is just… there. In the middle of everything. Also, it’s mostly captains and vice-captains, but also Ikkaku and Yumichika and Rukia are there. Someone’s like, “Hey, Ikkaku and Yumichika, why are you here?” and they’re like, “Uh, Zaraki and Yachiru are on a business trip” and then someone else is like “Hey, Rukia, why are you here?” and she just does Big Shrug Arms. This is perfect Big Filler Energy. They are here because we want to see their embodied zanpakutou spirits obviously, why must you demand explanations?

Anyway, Muramasa shows up in hall his Hot Topic glory and waves his scary fingernails and cries blood and announces that all the zanpakutou have rebelled. Then follows a hilarious scene where everyone tries to do their releases and it doesn’t work.

Episode ends/next episode begins.

Ichigo is bouncing around Karakura, like he does, when Rukia falls out of a senkaimon in the sky. (They can make them next to the ground, I don’t know why they never do) Sode no Shirayuki then shows up and it takes Ichigo a phenomenally long amount of time to figure out who she is. To be honest, I would love if this arc went in the direction that Shirayuki has it out for Ichigo for taking Rukia’s powers (Zanpakutou Headcanon #2: Zanpakutou spirits have zero perspective outside of their shinigami being the most important thing in the world to them, and Shirayuki, especially brainwashed Shirayuki, would love to take a piece out of Ichigo. Obvs, they would become best friends after Ichigo defeats her, as is his way).

After being suitable ominous, Shirayuki ollies out, and Ichigo takes Rukia back to the Shoten for Orihime-heals and flashbacks.

Rukia recaps back to Soukyoku Hill, except this time, Renji’s the only one trying fruitlessly to do his release. One reading of this, is that it’s just a recap, we don’t need to see all this again, except that then they cut to Byakuya making the Mariah Carey “I don’t know her face” for like, 10 whole seconds, and it’s sublime.

Anyway, everyone starts fighting, and Ikkaku tries to attack Komamura’s zanpakutou, which is such a colossally bad idea. I am always hoping that they will kill off characters during filler arcs and then have them be inexplicably alive later, like they used to do on Teen Titans GO! and I absolutely would have offed Ikkaku at this point if I were in charge. The zanpakutou spirits start absolutely trashing the Seireitei, mostly setting things on fire and causing ice avalanches, and just generally going bananas. I really wish there had been a montage of someone cutting heads off parking meters and spray painting “Fuck the Central 46” on the side of Squad 1, but no.

We then see Rukia and Renji running around, fighting together, and I ascended. This is all I ever want. Bless this arc. They get attacked by Sasakibe’s Gonryuu (I wish there was a running gag of no one knowing who he is, and maybe there is, later, I don’t remember) and Hisagi’s Kazeshini, who is the best zanpakutou in this whole arc, he is an unhinged Nightcrawler with sick abs and I love him. I don’t remember what happened next, because I was so distracted by my OTP doing Battle Couple, but Byakuya shows up, standing on a tower (dude likes standing on a tall thing almost as much as Rukia does), so of course, we have to do “Nii-sama!” “Taichou!” B L E S S.

Then Senbonzakura shows up, also standing on a tall rooftop, dunh dunh DUNH! It’s too bad that the Fullbringer arc sort of ruins this because the whole time, I was like “just nail him in the safety zone,” and honestly, Byakuya having a “safety zone” is… well, it’s kinda lame when you say it out loud. Anyway, Rukia flips out, and Renji’s like, “no, no, I’m sure he’s fine,” and then they get avalanched by Sode no Shirayuki and that’s all Rukia remembers.

As usual, no one is the least bit concerned for Renji, but honestly, if anyone can survive being repeatedly Senbonzakured and Hakurened, it’s that guy.

There’s a part where Rukia is telling this story and Ichigo puts his hand on his chest, and you can see the little wheels in his head turning, like, “where do I keep my zanpakutou? Is it here? What is the ‘heart’?”

Yoruichi shows up to provide more exposition, as is her Filler Arc duty, and they establish that the rebellion seems to have only gone as far as Soul Society.

Ichigo goes home to sleep in his clothes, but the Mod Souls show up to tell him that Rukia went back to Soul Society in the middle of the night. Man, the Mod Souls are in this arc, W H Y ? ? ?

Urahara agrees to send Ichigo to Soul Society why WHY W H Y would you send the guy with the awesomest and most DNGAF zanpakutou to the place where the zanpakutou are rebelling??? At this point, if I hadn’t seen this before, I would definitely assume that Urahara was behind all of this.

Some other points: Why would you not take Chad and Ishida and Orihime (and Yoruichi, for that matter), people with powers who don’t have zanpakutou? Truly, I tell you, Chad does not mind being woken up for this, and Ishida would love the chance to smugly show up and lecture a bunch of powerless shinigami. Also, if I were in Bleach, you better bet my first reaction to everything would be to ask Orihime to try to reject it, no matter how dumb it sounded. It’s worth a try! I would not go anywhere without Orihime. Orihime is the GOAT. Did we all forget the part in the Bount Arc where she killed some friggin’ ninja? I sure didn’t.

Anyway, that’s it for this time, keep tuning for next episode, where Ichigo will surely have regrets.

[despairforme]

"Ya got anythin' planned?" He asked, grinning. "'m sure thçlub could put t'gether an impromptu surprise party for ya if yer jus'gonna sit an'wallow by yerself" He gave the fellow fighter a soft, friendly stomp against the shoulder. "Happy birthday. Can't b'lieve yer boutta turn thirty. Gettin' old an' all that." He shuffled around in his bag and finally produced a small package. Yumichika had wrapped it, so it looked beautiful. "'s nothin'much but-" It was a coupon for all you can eat BBQ for 2.

    It might be his birthday, but that was by no means a reason for him to be cheerful. In fact, Nnoitra was feeling pretty gloomy today. He didn’t know what he had expected, but he HAD hoped that SOMETHING would be different about this day. That something nice would happen, maybe. Mah, he might as well go right ahead and admit that he had hoped Grimmjow would at least remember that today was his birthday. Since his boyfriend hadn’t asked him in advance what he wanted for his birthday, Nnoitra had assumed the other hadn’t remembered. The days leading up to his birthday, he had contemplated whether or not he should bring the subject up. If he should REMIND the other that a certain day was coming up. So why hadn’t he? Well, the main reason was that he truly HOPED that Grimmjow DID remember, and that the reason why he hadn’t inquired after his wishes was due to him already having either bought a present, or organized some sort of surprise. Another reason? He was worried to get the confirmation that Grimmjow had forgotten about it. So he postponed that eventual, tragic reality for as long as possible. In hindsight this might’ve been a mistake, seeing as reality was bound to catch up at one point. That point being TODAY - on his birthday. Yeah, he was disappointed. The worst part about it was that even now, with half the day gone, he was still hoping for his boyfriend to surprise him. It was so pathetic Nnoitra wanted to grimace every time he thought about it.

     Ikkaku’s grin and the question if he had anything planned ended up being an unintentional jab, and Nnoitra wasn’t able to return the grin. Ikkaku was pretty intuitive, so Nnoitra wondered if he was trying to cheer him up by suggesting that the club threw together a last-minute party. Nnoitra smiled a little at that, and wondered if the smile looked bitter - that’s how he was feeling at least. Ikkaku bumped into his shoulder, and Nnoitra was no longer doubting that the other was trying to cheer him up. Eventually, he actually DID succeed, because Nnoitra snorted at the joke about him almost turning thirty. It was true. In two years, he’d be thirty. The usual: Am I gonna live that long? Popped up in his head, but he ignored it.  

     ❝ I know right? ‘S like God just CAN’T fuckin’ kill me. ❞ Nnoitra joked, his smile less tense now. Jokes about his death usually made him feel better. He accepted the small gift from Ikkaku. It was very nicely wrapped. Nnoitra didn’t think Ikkaku would’ve been able to do this himself, so it was probably done in the store where he had bought the present. Or - maybe his partner had wrapped it for him? Another thought Nnoitra pushed away, to keep himself from getting jealous. 

     The present was unwrapped, and inside was the smallest gift Nnoitra had probably ever received. Seeing as this was the ONLY present it looked like he was getting today, he sure as shit wasn’t going to complain. It was a coupon for an all-you-can-eat bbq buffet. VERY tempting images of fall-off-the-bone spareribs passed before Nnoitra’s view. The coupon was valid for two people. Nnoitra’s first thought was to bring Grimmjow, but then - bitterly - he thought that he might go by himself after all.  ❝ Nice. ❞ He commented, to show Ikkaku that he appreciated the gift. He’d be happy to receive any sort of birthday present at this point, and free food was always a win in his books.  ❝ This restaurant is so fucked. I’mma eat ‘em outta business. ❞ It was a joke, and he added a small laugh. The last time he had been at one of those all-you-can-eat places, the restaurant owner had given him the death glare. Possibly because he had been eating for five.

     ❝ I got plans. ❞ He lied with a shrug. He didn’t really want to answer that question, but at the same time, he wanted to make sure that the club didn’t arrange some sort of half-assed party for him. He wasn’t in the mood to party, and he didn’t like being drunk in public. Being sober at a party was completely out of the question. Honestly, he just wanted this day to be over already. He wanted to complete the fights for the night, go home, and go to sleep. Tomorrow he could wake up and tell himself that maybe he’d get something for Christmas instead. Depressingly enough, he suddenly remembered that Grimmjow hadn’t gotten him anything for Christmas either. 

[yperifaneia]

Drabble || Modern verse

--- His fist is pumping in the air, adrenaline rushing through him. The sweat is heavy on his brow, and when he licks his lips he can taste the salt. He grins at the crowd, cheering for him. He loves this moment. Loves taking the figurative bow and cash in on the applause. Every fight, every applause, means more interesting fights for him in the future. They haul his opponent off to treat his injuries, and Ikkaku stays behind for half a minute longer to receive his praise. Eventually though, he’ll have to make space for the next fight. They have to briefly mop the floor of the ring, lest someone slip on blood and sweat. No one came to see that kind of victory.

      Ikkaku hangs out at the club a whole lot after his fights. Even if he knows Yumichika might be waiting. He likes watching the remaining fights. Often, Nnoitra has a spot filled after him. Plus, he can sit, have a beer, and have people come up to him to congratulate him. He always grins at them and tells them the next one will be even better.

      Tonight though.. Tonight he may be lying. Not through any fault of his own, rather.. The opportunity for a next fight is ripped from him like a rug from beneath his feet. 

      When he leaves the club through the employee’s exit at the back of the club, tired and ready to tumble face first into bed with Yumichika { who will complain that he needs a shower first, of course } he is met with a shadowy figure. “Who’re y--” He does not get to finish his question before he is hit on the back of his head with something hard and heavy. He goes down fast and hard, hardly able to even catch himself. His bad shoulder and chin hit the pavement. The awful crunch of it precedes the sudden wave of pain. He hisses. Damn it. In his head, the pain is dull, pulsing. His shoulder stings sharply. He groans and rolls onto his back, clutching the assaulted limb. “What the fuck--”

      There is three of them, he notes, in the dull light of a streetlight, a ways away from this alley. The neon red of the club’s lights don’t illuminate their faces properly. “What th’hell does a faggot know about fighting?” One of them puts forth. Despite the pain, Ikkaku pushes from the ground, onto his feet. The ground is an awful place to be in a fight. Why did I take my brace off..? His shoulder is out of commission, and with three attackers { that he can see }, he can already tell he is in trouble. “The fuck’re you on about?” He bites, grey eyes shifting from one to the next, feet planted firmly on the ground. His legs are his best weapon at the moment, he figures. Should they come too close. “You should have lost that fight.” the one with the baseball cap tells him. “Yer a fairy, so yer not suppose’ta win.” It dawns on Ikkaku that these guys must have bet against him because of who he loves. Well.. That is their problem, not his. He grimaces. “’s not my issue y’all got prejudices an’ they made ya a couple grand lighter.” He almost laughs, but given the situation, he refrains.

      One of them, a ginger with a square face and bushy eyebrows, steps forward, scowling like someone just served him shit instead of chocolate pudding. “You disgust me.” He spits at Ikkaku’s feet. Ikkaku shifts his gaze between the three of them. Despite the pain in his shoulder, he slightly balls his fists. He is tired, but adrenaline is one hell of a drug. 

      Suddenly, everything happens at once. All three of them pounce. Ikkaku moves on instinct. Find the soft, vulnerable bits, protect your own. He punts one of them in the ribs, kicks another against the knee, eliciting a sickening crack. He cannot deny he gains pleasure from the guy’s pained scream. Almost, he grins, but then he is grabbed, his injured arm is yanked, he turns with a raw growl to punch the offender in the nose, but... He does not get the chance. 

      It feels like someone froze a piece of metal and pressed it against his skin. Cold, at first, but searing seconds later. He doesn’t quite register what happened. It isn’t until his attacker pulls back that Ikkaku realises he’s been knifed. He can feel gravel through his sweatpants when he lands on his knees. Fuck. When he presses his hand against the wound, immediately it becomes hot, wet and sticky. His breath hitches, but he doesn’t get the chance to speak before the guy with the baseball cap’s knuckles connect with his face. He crumples, concentrating hard on breathing. The assault does not end there. All three of them take their turns kicking him in the ribs and stomach. He doesn’t give them the satisfaction of screaming. Through the pain, Ikkaku wonders what Yumichika would do if he dies here, he wonders. The neon red above him becomes more fuzzy and blends with its surroundings. He can feel his hoodie becoming heavy with blood, sticking to his skin. The hot pulse of his blood loss slowing. Everything hurts. Fuck... Yumi’ll be sad. He doesn’t register his attackers’ last words to him, but he can tell they are laced with venom and hatred.

      His head swims. He doesn’t know how long he has laid on the pavement, or when his attackers left. His saving grace happens to be another fighter leaving the club, finding him, and calling 911. He feels a dull pain when someone presses on his belly. By the time lights start flashing in the alley, Ikkaku has trouble staying present, eyes wanting to fall closed. 

      He doesn’t remember it fully. Flashes of white surroundings. Someone in a face-mask. Someone asking his name. He may have asked for Yumi, or he thinks he has. In truth, he’s uttered garbled words; nonsensical sounds. It all turns black at some point, and maybe that is a blessing. The pain stops.

                                                                         ----

      He blinks. His eyes feel heavy. Everything is white. Maybe he is dead. He gets to think that for all of three seconds before a familiar voice tearfully calls his name. Ah.. Yumichika. 

      Not dead.

[unohanadaydreams]

So, it’s time for some more re-read updates bc I’m incapable of not dumping my thots kthx.

The thing is, seeing this entire scene play out makes me even more depression that this was never taken full circle in terms of Rukia and Ichigo’s connection to Kaien being revealed to them.

Like, you’re telling me glutton for punishment Rukia Kuchiki wouldn’t have felt even MORE guilt after finding out Kaien was related to Ichigo? That she robbed one of the most important people in her life of having KAIEN to help him?

And her confronting Ichigo with that and telling him abit about Kaien and he’s just like ‘I can tell you learned a lot from him, he sounds just like you’ and she just can not handle that and breaks down because holy shit? She really has passed on the heart Kaien gave her to Ichigo and she’s kept his memory alive all this time. His heart is in her and it’s made it’s way to Ichigo THROUGH her.

Like 😔 where was Rukia’s final catharsis moment and taking Ichigo to the Shibas, alive. Where was her not leaving this time, not carrying the blood of a teacher but the shoulder of a student. She isn’t the reason a Shiba is dead now. She’s the reason one is alive.

You think Gin and Luppi had a lot of meaningful conversations about uuuuh…..hot bods. Like part of me thinks Luppi is one of the only Arrancar who could stand Gin and also that Gin does not mean this bc he saw those tentacles on Rangiku.

Personally I think Gin encouraging Luppi to attack the human world to ‘assert his new rank’ or whatever is an awfully good way to off some strong Arrancar from Aizen’s army especially since he would KNOW about sealing procedures among captains/lieutenants.

Gin’s happy ending is you dying, Ulquiorra, isn’t that nice? 💕

I love how he contradicts himself instantly. Why are you treating your brother’s wounds if he’s just a box and you only cared about the data? Why did you single out the guy who killed him?

Science men in Bleach are positively PHOBIC to looking like they have meaningful connections.

Szayelaporro “I’m too mature to care about things that aren’t me, myself, and my science” Granz stfu

This confuses me. Like, WHERE is that good score counting towards??? Sure as fuck not the kido corps. Like, this further lends to my theory that lots of students are getting offed for not being strong enough in the academy because going back to the rukongai isn’t an option.

No way this academy is getting full classes of new students every single year and yet they only have a handful of thousands in the gotei 13. Especially considering that for, presumably, the original run of Bleach, it was canon that soul society was THE ONLY soul society, for all human dead. Which is honestly less confusing than every country having their own bc like…..borders and shit have changed so many times just in the past 1000 years, how do you even go about deciding which humans go to which soul society (and like are there multiple versions of Hueco Mundo? Of Hell? It’s too much)

This scene hits, but it would be even more devastating with a fade in and out of that month they spent together just saying Kubo it’s okay to give us content of two women talking about not Ichigo.

Also, I love that Rukia still finds a way to think about Kaien’s lesson and apply it to herself in a negative way. Like you can not get a bad grade in dying, ma’am. You’re doing your best.

Also Orihime seeing Rukia almost die is ❤️ very angst much horror thank you.

This entire line of thought was so unnecessary and held up exactly 0 percent. It wasn’t even needed for Ichigo to go after Aizen bc like…..he already took Orihime???? Why make him a little bit more mad about her reputation?

You can not tell me that Aizen, who has been playing 4D chess for hundreds of years, was like ‘yeah it’ll be very convincing that this teenage girl decided to jump to my ship after I had numerous people she loved almost killed and my goal is definitely to have Soul Society not help Ichigo and co under that premise. I’m not planning anything, Soul Society and definitely not moving up the war love u xoxoxo.’

Yamamoto could have just straight up said ‘I’m not sacrificing my soldiers for one human girl but gl with Aizen bitch.’ Because that’s what it really comes down to. Yamamoto is trying to fake out Aizen and seem on lockdown/like he’s waiting until Winter—the whole Orihime Is Traitor thing makes very little sense in that regard.

I will say that Hueco Mundo arc really upped the casual violence and body horror in Bleach as a whole so yet another win for this arc.

Also I love how Grimmjow is one of the villains in Bleach that even the most ‘problematic characters haters’ will simp for when this is his baseline when it comes to just annoyance. He is so hot he transcends dumb fandom discourse. This man is causally annoyed so he’s slowly and purposefully breaking Lollys leg so she fully understands before he does it. The ultimate vindictive bitch.

I know that she probably is freaked out about her leg coming back because it’s a bat shit amount of power involved in doing that, but I think she’s infinitely more horrified that Orihime not only healed her, but does so without a word, almost devoid of emotion.

She freely cusses Grimmjow out, tries to barter with him, tries to persuade him, and generally feels comfortable running her mouth because she knows violence is happening regardless. She is afraid and doesn’t want it to happen but she knows the song and dance.

But she hits Orihime with a lot of fear behind it, barely able to say more than get away. And despite that, plus the beating (AND BROKEN FUCKING PINKIE just hanging there bent) Orihime was given, Lolly is given her leg back. And she says nothing. She doesn’t ask for anything. Or want anything.

And in a place with a violent ridden caste system, I imagine that would be a lot. How do you reconcile your everyday life and how you treat everyone around you and how they treat you when you’re faced with a person who doesn’t adhere to those rules. How do you face the realization that some human girl can give you back a leg and bring back your only friend and do it not because you deserve it, but because you’re alive and need help and that’s all the reason needed. Kindness can be a curse. Cornered dogs bite and then ache for the hand upon their head again.

Renji does this twice in this arc so far, this being the first time. This man is like ‘I may not be the strongest but I can take second degree burns and falling buildings like a fucking champ and that’s about to be your problem’. You can’t tell me he doesn’t play chicken with Ikkaku by standing way too close to fireworks after they’re lit and seeing who’s less fucked up after. Sake of course included.

Also Szayelaporro and Uryu are like rival theater kids in this fight trying to bang out the best one liner and pose. Too bad Uryu wasted time trying to run away instead of pulling out his sewing kit to outdo Szayelaporro’s costume change.

Actually, I’m Frankenstein, not Frankenstein’s monster :/

[barrimyr-adin]

Bleach E121-125 Notes

Gentei Kaijo kinda felt like an asspull. And why did we have to hear each of them say the same damn thing?

Grimmjow's voice actor is having a fucking blast.

Ichigo's angst over not protecting people is really annoying.

Man, fuck Tosen. Nothing but a self-righteous hypocrite looking for a way to satisfy his own bloodlust.

Oh look, it actually hurts to lose an arm. What a nice change of pace from Naruto.

Nevermind, apparently he's just fine now.

Aren't the Espada or whatever supposed to be stronger than the captains?

Oh, Snakeface is back.

Orihime's voice is ridiculous.

I really haven't liked Rukia this arc. She's just seemed really emotionally insensitive and aggressive. Though, I don't dislike her yet either.

I do hate Keigo's sister though.

Doesn't seem like Ikkaku likes her either.

I very much prefer Rangiku when she's in combat than in literally any other situation.

I'd like to hope that Chad is gonna get more powerful because I really do like him but I already know Kubo is probably gonna forget about him.

Another point this series has on Naruto, the fashion isn't shit. In fact, it's pretty nice.

If your just gonna use them, why would you tell them? Like, just let them think you've joined them, use them to teach you and then screw them over so hard that they won't be able to go after you once you've ditched them.

Please tell me the Vizoreds are about to crush Ichigo.

As much as I dislike Shinji, his voice actor is doing a really good job of making him menacing.

Holy fuck, good animation and choreography! How shocking!

God, I hope Ichigo eventually learns that he can't solve every problem by attacking it.

Some of these Vizoreds are dressed like idiots.

Kensei's voice seems way too old for his design.

I didn't really like Hiyori and the Vizoreds kinda feel like a bunch of posturing fools, but damn she's being one hell of a badass right now.

Hiyori's voice when she's masked is fucking hilarious.

The hollow effect in Ichigo's eyes remind me of the Curse Mark from Naruto.

I think it's bullshit how half of Ichigo's mask is so much stronger than the entirety of all the other Vizored's masks.

What the hell is up with Hiyori's teeth?

Lisa's gay as hell.

Hichigo is annoying.

So instead of actually seeing Ichigo train with the Vizoreds, we get some bullshit with Byakuya who literally has no reason to be there and we see Ichigo fucking fight himself.

Kensei's voice is ridiculous.

Who the hell is this Kariya guy?

Didn't we already go through this exact training regimen already?

Hichigo, shut the fuck up. Ichigo does not win through logic and he never will, unfortunately.

Ugh, now we have to deal with Zaraki too.

This bullshit about not needing a reason to fight and endless battle is just dumb. It's just here to take attention away from Ichigo's lack of personality.

How the hell is a king an equal being with a horse? Like... they're not? One is a person, the other is a horse. There's a very large difference in ability there.

Does Shinji just not have any lips?

Ayy, Momo's back.

Well, that was exhausting. I'm gonna go watch HxH and read JoJo now.

[darkstrangevirgilanxiboi]

Bleach Headcanons For The Wounded Soul

ALL RIGHT I KNOW THE ENDING WAS ALL KINDS OF JUST.....WHAT??? AND A LOT OF UNANSWERED THINGS So to make MYSELF and hopefully the fandom feel better I'm gonna dump alllllll the headcanons here for you ( if it's ship specific stuff u want just send an ask I ship a ton of things my friends ) SPOILER WARNING TURN BACK NOW IF U DO NOT WANT SPOILING - Toshiro babysits Kazui and Ichika quite often and demands payment of either watermelon or dragon themed decor Renji bought him a dragon shirt and Toshiro got super excited over it Ichigo , secret art guy , managed to one up this by making a drawing of Hyorinmaru's human form and gave it to Toshiro as a cheer-up gift one day. Ichigo got free babysitting for a whole YEAR - Byakuya and Toshiro become close friends after the Quincy war ( they were friends before but at some point Toshiro ends up with Byakuya's scarf in the manga so they musta been best bros ) and Toshiro is named god-father of Ichika - Uryuu and Ichigo become much closer and Uryuu has dinner at Ichigo's every week and they catch up. Uryuu teaches Ichigo about Quincy stuff and Ichigo teaches Uryuu the good things about shinigami . They visit their mothers graves together every year. - IZURU MADE A FULL RECOVERY HE'S FINE HE JUST RETIRED - JUSHIRO IS FINE THAT little sad scene was just a nightmare sequence okay haha ( JUSHIRO IS F I N E) - Kurotsuchi eventually becomes a decent damn father to Nemu and checks himself once he realizes how much evil he's wrought ( BUT REALLY THOUGH GIVE HIM A REDEMPTION ARC SOMEONE) I mean I used to hate him so much but I hate him a little less because he DID save Toshiro and Rangiku He does good things by accident sometimes I mean maybe he has a tiny heart -Ikkaku marries Keigo's big sister and Keigo is so scared but so happy for them too - Grimmjow gets a happy ending ( just let my angry cat be happy please) - KISUKE AND YORUICHI GET MARRIED AND ADOPT GINTA AND URURU - Yuushiro Shihouin is FINE, he's F I N E - Toshiro and Momo start dating soon after Kazui and Ichika are born , Byakuya is the best man at the wedding Toshiro names their first son Hyorinmaru ( Nicknamed Hyorin ) And Hyorinmaru is of course god-father Toshiro is the CUTEST dad . He brings baby Hyorin with him everywhere , wrapped in one of his scarves . It's very distracting at Captain's meetings because who's gonna scold Hitsugaya when his son is so cute ? Plus Nemu pretty much adopts all of the Hitsugaya babies the minute she sees them so Kurotsuchi will fight anyone who tells Toshiro to leave the baby at home , because he LOVES to see Nemu happy ( and is secretly fascinated by the super strong reishi of the Hitsugaya kids) All of Squad Ten adore the Hitsugaya babies , anyone who so much as makes a Hitsugaya frown gets a beat down from the tenth AND fifth division ( Shinji is the most ecstatic god-father ever and Hiyori thinks it's adorable) They have like six or seven ( or more ) kids and every one of them is super strong in fighting Their third child Shiromo actually challenged Zaraki to a fight when he was seven , and Zaraki LOST. To a seven year old. Momo tells everyone about it for centuries . Zaraki never lives it down . Shiromo Hitsugaya gains his first rival before puberty. They have a winter home in Karakura town and visit often . Ichigo adores their youngest child , and not just because he's named Ichigo! Little Ichigo Hitsugaya thinks Big Ichigo is the coolest thing since his dad , and listens to Ichigo talk about old fights all day. They do art projects together and play soccer and Ichigo makes sure Little Ichi learns first aid because obvi his folks are gonna need it one day - Mizuiro becomes a profitable business man who helps exiled Shinigami adjust to the human world and helps humans who see spirits learn how to stay safe from Hollows - Tatsuki helps Mizuiro with his business and eventually he's the best man at her wedding when she marries her girlfriend , and SHE'S the one who gives him away a year later when he marries his boyfriend - Orihime is a Full-Bringer , the Full-Bringer group just didn't know about her yet. They find out pretty soon after the Quincy War and soon start training her and she becomes best friends with Riruka . ( I mean if Kubo ain't gonna tell me why she can do the thing I'm making up my own thing ) - Kyoryaku marries Nanao and they have four daughters ( Shunshui doesn't die from the Ise curse he lives well into old age he's fine ) - Chad runs a nonprofit orphanage / children's home devoted to finding kids loving families . Kisuke and Yoruichi adopt four to begin with and adopt more over time as their children grow up and move out. Tatsuki and her wife adopt twin girls that can see ghosts . They become a famed ghost medium family Mizuiro and his husband adopt a blind boy , a deaf girl , and a nonbinary kid. - Kisuke eventually figures out how to remove the Hogyoku from Aizen and Aizen finally gets executed for his crimes - Keigo runs a blog of conspiracy theories , most of which actually happen to come true at some point. Turns out Keigo's family is descended from a runaway Quincy and Keigo is the first in generations to develop any type of Quincy power. He has glimpses of the future but can't control it. Uryuu is stunned ( and mildly annoyed) that Keigo is a Quincy but helps him out nonetheless. - Tatsuki gets famous worldwide for punching a sexist on national television and soon every corner store has souvenir Tatsuki shirts - KOMOMURA IS FINEEEEE - Shuuhei becomes the next captain of squad 9 -Soi Fon gets a girlfriend - UNCLE BYAKUYA BYAKUYA IS THE UNCLE TO THE CHILD OF ANYONE HE'S FRIENDS WITH And he gives all the kids scarves and flowers and etiquette lessons ( and plushie Mr.Seaweed dolls ) - OKAY BUT IN THE MANGA BYAKUYA LOVES TO DRAW THIS LITTLE CHARACTER THAT'S JUST A HUMANOID SEAWEED It's amazing and adorable and I love artist Byakuya - Karin introduced Toshiro to ice puns and puns in general. He gets a tumblr and an instagram. He posts pics of defeated enemies and lots of sweet stuff about Momo . And memes The memes haven't stopped since You think he was sarcastic in fights before? ICE try , bitches ( Rangiku tries to disown him three times ) - OH YEAH SHINJI ADOPTED HIYORI OKAY - There's a betting pool in the Gotei 13 over who Zaraki challenges to a fight most often that week. Toshiro wins regularly ( he bets on himself and Soi Fon ) Once Toshiro actually takes up Zaraki's challenge , because he's stressing out over having his first child and Momo is sick and there's been weird Hollow activity and Zaraki just hit a nerve . He ends up getting hurt pretty bad but managed to win and now there's a new betting pool over when Zaraki is gonna beat Toshiro ( or if anyone CAN beat Hitsugaya anymore ) - Whenever Toshiro looks sad , Momo makes it a rule that you have to hug him every time you see him and give him a compliment. Rangiku and Byakuya enforce this rule , doubly so when Toshiro is recovering from injury. One time Kensei tried to refuse to hug Toshiro and Byakuya glared at him from the shadows for a solid hour while a very concussed and confused Toshiro just watched from his hospital bed . Kensei lost the staring contest and gave Toshiro an awkward hug and for lack of a better idea just went " Your Bankai is very artistic to watch , good job " Toshiro smiled for about an hour and later Kensei got a thank you card from Byakuya " You made Toshiro smile today , I can like you now " - Whenever shit hits the fan in a battle and Byakuya is by Toshiro he just picks him up and books it for home while Toshiro protests and tries to go Bankai -When Momo swears in front of Shinji for the first time he hugs her like a smug parent and she is confused - Toshiro jokingly leaves a jar labelled " Zaraki's Swear Jar " in the Captain's Meeting room and no one tells Zaraki it's not official so in meetings Zaraki just drops whatever's in his pocket at the beginning of the meeting in the jar The prices range depending on severity and vulgarness " Damn " is a nickel " Fuck " is a dollar Anything sexually overt is three dollars The money goes toward whatever is most pressing at the time - repairs , medical supplies , equipment .... - Once in a war Momo is kidnapped and Toshiro just decimates a whole army to rescue her and from then on the enemy was terrified of Toshiro , who's unaware of it for a few weeks while he recovers from injuries. But when he shows back up at the front the leader just surrenders like " DON'T MURDER US WE DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS YOUR WIFE " Uhhhhh that's it for now I'm tired , but enjoy! @hitsuhinahappiness @xxhanabifireworksxx