#how stupid their Jedi is

[tragedy-for-sale]

Bedrock Headcannons: Captain Rex

Bedrock headcannons are headcannons that I regard as a fact in the personality of a character I write about. They range from small details to a huge part of a character's backstory. These headcannons are a constant underlayer in all of my fics that involve these characters.

﹄『❝ Rex ❞』﹃

Rex is the clone that fell out of the gunship with Padme in AOTC and when Anakin found out, his fondness for Rex was instant.

Rex and Padme hang out regularly now. Padme invited Rex over for lunch countless times before Anakin even knew. The two were watching some holodrama talking shit about the characters when Anakin came in beyond confused to see Rex, because how did Rex not tell him this? Anakin panicked thinking he was gonna have to pull out an excuse but Rex just downed his apple juice and told him to sit down because he was blocking the TV.

Anakin was very surprised that Padme didn't tell him that she told HIS Captain they were married. And that Rex didn't bring it up. Anakin feels a little left out because the two of them have inside jokes and matching apple juice glasses.

Rex's favorite drink is apple juice and Padme always has some in her fridge for him.

He is not a loud emotions type of guy. He cannot handle it and wants to evaporate from the situation. He'd be teamed up with Ahsoka and maybe she'd start crying or get really mad and starts yelling. Rex doesn't know how to respond. Anakin will laugh loudly and pull Rex into a side hug and he just shuts down. He doesn't know what he'd say because he's so scared of saying the wrong thing.

Rex is a natural blond.

Anakin had explained to Rex he'd never have a padawan, Rex very much agreed. The battlefield wasn't a place for a child. But then Ahsoka came and at first, Rex resented this grubby little kid who kept asking him for his snacks. But then they'd be on the bridge watching blaster fire and she'd grab his hand, scared of getting hurt. Ahsoka started waking up in the middle of the night and find Rex because unlike Obi-Wan and Anakin, he wouldn't tell her that everything was okay, he'd just sit with her in the dark so she knew she was safe. He didn't know when he started considering Ahsoka his little sister, but she'd always considered him her brother.

Rex has a crush on Anakin that he thinks is quite inconvenient because he thinks Anakin is ugly. But then Anakin will make him laugh or smile at him and Rex feels like his heart is going to stop.

After Ahsoka left the order, Rex reached out countless times. He wanted to talk to her, give her credits he borrowed from Anakin's wallet, tell her to go crash at Padme's because she has a really nice guest bedroom, he wanted to give her hug and tell her that she'd always be his little sister. But she never answered him, she never reached out, she never even said goodbye.

Rex was the first person Padme told that she was pregnant, so for nine months, Rex couldn't say anything to Anakin. Rex thought he might explode. They'd already lost Ahsoka, but in nine months maybe Anakin wouldn't be so unhappy? Maybe his heart wouldn't be so broken? Maybe Ahsoka would come back and they'd be a family again- In nine months, Rex knew everything would change.

Everything did change. Ahsoka came back, but Rex never saw Anakin again and there was no Padme, there was no babies. Their family never healed, it only fell apart.

After Order 66, Rex broke. He didn't have anything left within him. He clawed at the dirt and debris in desperate search for his brothers until his fingers were smashed. He'd search for days and Ahsoka would find him often passed out from dehydration and exhaustion. If he managed to sleep, he'd wake up screaming, he didn't want to scare Ahsoka more than he already had been, so he tried to stop sleeping. But that only scared her more, she couldn't lose him too, she wouldn't survive it. Rex didn't speak, he always had a distant look on his face, he was paralyzed by grief. For weeks, Rex was unable to do anything but sit silently in his grief because if he spoke then he'd yell and he didn't want to yell because then it'd all come out. "Why'd you take my chip out? Why didn't you just kill me?"

﹄『❝ Rex ❞』﹃

[334iwatchshit]

please remember that luke skywalker adopted rey and fin a few years after marrying din djarin and and opening his jedi school on mandalor with their green rat son.

[izzystizzys]

i think if i was commander fox of the coruscant guard and some wrinkled raisin of a man who i was bound under pain of death or torture to protect along with a planet’s worth of ungrateful, uppity rich fucks who couldn’t be bothered to consider me sentient much less deserving of a smidgen of civil rights, looked me in the eye and went i’m going to catch and store a massive, eldritch space monster right smack dab in the middle of all the Most Important And Very Breakable people and places on this planet under the most flimsy, whack-ass excuse you’ve ever heard and also it’s your circus and your monkeys-

well i think i would simply have punted him out the window

[smeraldo-heart]

Cal and Trilla are such an underrated comedic duo and it’s a damn shame we didn’t get to see them work together

Like hello?? Trilla asking Cal about the holocron, hearing him just ignite his lightsaber in response and giving the most deadpan, sarcastic “outstanding.” Not a day goes by when I don’t think about this. Fucking. Hilarious.

They would be such an immensely funny sarky duo of Star Wars just had the balls to give them to us.

We were ROBBED I tell you. Robbed of the most sarcastic, scathing comedic duo of the century. The sassy padawan siblings we deserved but never got.

The similarities in driving too?? 💀

IMMENSELY funny.

The annoyed big sister vibes and annoying little brother vibes I get from them are so good godammit. I deserved nightmare siblings Cal and Trilla.

[sherlockholmeshound]

whenever ppl try to come up with some version of 'romance and love isn't forbidden by the jedi, on this one novel-'

i'm just...

[sketchinfun]

Literally no in between...

[notyourmoon4528]

Oh my moons

This took me forever

I regret nothing

But at some point Osha takes over Mae's role 😂 cause I didn't have enough videos of Mae killing 😞

So its

Qimir- 👑( Queen of hearts)

Mae -❤️(Red)

Sol- 👠(Cinderella)

Osha- 🗡️/❤️ (Chole/Red)

I actually like how it came out 🤣

Sol is Cinderella, change my mind.

Somehow I reached 30 tags . . .

Help

[las-lus]

The way every Star wars trio should've been a throuple..

[david-talks-sw]

Picture a sculptor.

He sculpts an animal... and it was meant to be an elephant for a kids zoo, but because of the limits of his tools at the time, he stopped at the skeleton only.

And it's a great fucking skeleton! It's got that old feel to it, like a Rodin sculpture, but with a modern vibe.

The skeleton even has fans and stuff, and the fans go "we love this badass mammoth skeleton you sculpted!"

And this sort of bothers the sculptor. Because he was going for an elephant, not a mammoth, right?

So when he finally has the right tools, he completes the sculpture, so the next generation of fans can enjoy the elephant...

... and the previous generation of fans, who grew up reading and dreaming about a mammoth for 30 years, they go "wtf". They hate it.

Now, the sculptor takes on an apprentice, who is also a fan.

The apprentice learns the technique, learns how to look at the clay, how to get the right texture... and is able to do all this without going "wtf" because he looks at this elephant sculpture through an anti-establishment lens.

"Yes, it has shorter tusks and almost no hair, but the purpose of the sculpture is to say that it should be hairier, taller and with longer tusks. The whole point is that this elephant is failing to be the mammoth it's meant to be!"

And y'know, it's art! If that’s what this elephant means to him, great.

But once the tools are passed down to him, the apprentice (along with other sculptors) takes some clay and makes the tusks longer, adds some fur, shortens the ears, etc.

Overtime, he makes it a mammoth again.

Of course, most fans are happy again, including many who were introduced to the elephant as kids, because the transition was a slow one, done carefully.

And, hey, it's a nice mammoth!

My only issue is that I grew up loving the elephant, just as it was. I think the elephant was friggin’ great.

But nowadays, whenever the elephant is brought up, it's always through the lens of "it's failing to be a mammoth" rather than what the sculptor said it's supposed to be: just an elephant.

[liatorii]

More Star Wars dragons yippie!

This time it’s just OCs! Tavra belongs to @phi-guy obviously, and Jed (yes he’s named Jed, he was created for shits and giggles before I got into Star Wars and now I’m attached).

(First doodle of Jed underneath the cut:)

[perfectharmonyloveschaos]

Something I am grasping onto to explain the 'Masters and Apprentice' trailer without Sabine being retconned to be force-sensitive for no reason is the title.

Masters and Apprentices.

Not Padawans.

Being an Apprentice doesn't mean Ahsoka is teaching her the force. Instead, it may mean that Ahsoka is picking up where Kanan left off and, in a way, finishing Sabine's "training" because he couldn't and Sabine needs it to find Ezra. She isn't a Jedi, but she is learning the Jedi way.

[letoscrawls]

If you hated Yord and Jecki you will die and go to hell

[cantsayidont]

So, to the extremely limited extent I still care, the question THE ACOLYTE raises is, "Were the Jedi ever actually cool?" The prequels and THE CLONE WARS make clear that by the time of the Clone Wars, they're in pretty grim shape as an order: morally bankrupt, willfully oblivious, self-deluded zealots whose determination to leverage their apparently diminishing power (which even for masters doesn't seem to rise much above the level of parlor tricks) to maintain their privileged political position eventually precipitates their transformation from poor diplomats and inept cops into incompetent military officers, leading a cadre of child soldiers and an army of manufactured slaves in a war that probably wouldn't have happened at all if the Jedi Council's go-to response to any crisis weren't "self-defeating coverup." Yoda and Obi-Wan, who in the original movies come across as wise and basically kindly, if conflicted and somewhat manipulative, emerge in the prequels, TCW, and the awful OBI-WAN KENOBI show as truly contemptible — Yoda a cackling war criminal, Obi-Wan a dupe and a coward — while the sequels and THE MANDALORIAN emphasize that Luke Skywalker's determination to repeat the exact same mistakes almost immediately plunges the galaxy back into fascism. As Hal Holbrook says in ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

THE ACOLYTE is set a century before that, but it goes out of its way to present the Jedi Order in exactly the same ways: kidnapping children; a culture of emotional abuse in the name of religious and martial discipline; a focus on really incompetent police work; constant coverups and political ass-covering; and really very little personal/supernatural power in the context of the general level of technology. The Jedi are not wise, they're not clever, they're not competent, and it's hard to see what they're good for except maybe as a symbol to people who've never actually encountered them.

In a franchise more complex and grown-up than STAR WARS is usually willing to be, that might be interesting, and the books and comics have occasionally grappled with these points with somewhat more nuance, but the onscreen canon since 1999 has been pretty emphatic that the Jedi are a blight on the galaxy. It's hard not to come away from this stuff feeling like everyone else would be better off if there were no Force-users of any kind, which I assume is not the intent. It's like if all canon Marvel and DC superhero characters were like the "heroes" of THE BOYS or BRATPACK all the time.

[sheyri]

[stargazerdaisy]

Had a funny conversation last night where a person I just met and I were talking and Star Wars came up and he commented that The Last Jedi was The Worst Star Wars movie ever and I gasped and acted horrified, because it's my favorite (and the best) Star Wars movie and he was so discomfited that I had that opinion that he had to start asking me why, because he could see I was passionate about it and he couldn't fathom why I loved it, and as we talked and I told him some of the things I found so compelling about it, he admitted he agreed with the points I was making, but we never quite got to finish the conversation and I was just so hideously amused by it all the entire time and finding myself vacillating between wanting to let it go because we don't need to fight about it and wanting to lovingly troll him for it.

[pawsimses]

Brainrot Trash Idea about Shin and Baylan

So I've been seeing a fair amount of stuff about Baylan and Shin, and bc I'm a Sucker for Father-Daughter characters, decided to play with a few headcanons. None of which are remotely close to Canon and a few AUs bc I can.

General HC Rambling

* Shin is Baylan's actual daughter. Yeah, I know she's (99%) not in canon but look. The idea of Baylan having and then training his own daughter to be something greater than the Jedi lives rent-free in my head.

* He got Shin from a young age to refer to him as "Master" instead of "Father" for both their sakes. Smother the risk of attachment and keep them both safer should the Empire catch on. (Jokes on him, because both of them are very attached to each other).

(For Shin, there actually isn't a real difference between terms; for her, calling him "Master" is her just saying "Father". He is her father, not her mentor, in her POV. She just uses a different word is all. (Help them, plz)).

* On that not of terminology, been thinking and I know it's probably just a harmless/unimportant honorific, but the fact Baylan has the title of Lord makes my brain go "what if Baylan was actually of noble origins?". Which then shifts into "Shin having a separate last name from her father is due to Baylan gifting her his mother's maiden name, for the same reasons he has her refer to him as her mentor instead of parent". It's also a way, in his twisted mind, to honor his family nobility when he himself failed it (by being a Jedi).

(Also imagine the Skoll/Hati family coat of arms being *wolves*)

* I even got genealogy HC worked out cause- "well Shin doesn't look like Baylan". And yes but hear me out: she takes after another relative of his (sister, mom, aunt, grandmother, etc.). Maybe she reminds him of his mom, idk. But if so, maybe that's why he gives her the surname Hati? As a quiet honoring? Either way, she takes after his family members, just not him strictly lol.

* (I'll be honest, her hair looked dyed and frankly speaking, I do HC Baylan as being a dark brunette before he went full Grey, so not a far stretch to also consider her inheriting his hair at least.)

* Back on the Hati surname, thinking more also led to "its a family name but farther back in lineage before it got changed to Skoll somewhere down the line". Kinda like how the Bakarn family in SWTOR used to be the Bakvalens before it got changed to a more common surname. Either way, the name Skoll puts a target on Shin's back and Baylan isn't taking that risk.

* (Ngl, part of me now wants to play w the idea of Baylan actually being a descendant of the Bakarn family. Idk if he'd be related to Syo tho, for obvious reasons.)

*Regarding upbringing, Baylan was a single dad front day 1, raising Shin on the run. Who the other parent is or if she even has one, no one knows. (Mostly bc I'm lazy and single dad Baylan lives rent free in my head). They mostly drifted from place to place, never really calling somewhere home. Hence another reason why Shin is very attached to Baylan; he's her only source of stability. He is "home".

*Leaving Shin was hard for her, but it was also hard for Baylan. It's not that he doesn't love his daughter. He absolutely does. But he's driven by personal ambition to seek this unknown power on this strange world and that takes priority. And truthfully, it's dangerous. He knows it's dangerous. But it calls to him in a way he can't ignore. In a way Shin can't hear. And if For her sake. Even if tearing away from her rips him in pieces; it's dangerous what he's doing and he won't drag her into it.

(Mentally he tells himself he's doing this all for her. For a better future, for her.)

(Shin, of course, is too attached to her father to actually leave the planet.)

AU VERSE HC

On another hand, been seeing a fair amount of Baylan/Morgan content lately and THAT got me thinking of "Shin is a Baylan/Morgan child". Which...

-Half-Dathomiran Shin. Half-Dathomiran Shin with Morgan's markings.

-Shin whose been raised by a human most of her life, who isn't at all attuned to her Nightsister half. Who doesn't really know Morgan and probably is unaware she's her parent.

-Shin who isn't attuned to her Nightsister heritage, suddenly experiencing summons of green fire and magic when her parents leave her behind for their own paths.

Nightsister-Dark Jedi hybrid class Shin Hati.