queenpanpan

[s4tvrnsays]

— Anima.

[deliciousangelfestival]

I Hate It When You're Drunk - 7

Character: bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Princess!Reader

Summary: A forbidden love between a princess and her bodyguard. They love each other deeply, but their relationship is threatened by the tyrant king's oppressive rule and their differing social statuses.

I Hate It When You're Drunk Series Masterlist

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Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Leave a comment and Reblog, please. I'd love to hear your thoughts. ❤️

In the other room, laughter and excitement filled the air as you and your bridesmaids gathered for the wedding preparations. Your friends, all hopeless romantics, were thrilled for you, knowing how much this day meant.

They huddled around, admiring your wedding dress—an elegant, simple gown adorned with delicate flower embroidery. The white fabric shimmered softly in the light, making you look like a vision of grace.

You wore a crown that once belonged to your mother, a cherished heirloom that your father had handed to you himself. After receiving his permission for this momentous occasion, the bitterness you once held toward him had softened, if only slightly.

As you stood before the mirror, gazing at your reflection, the crown glinted softly in the light, a symbol of the legacy you carried. You couldn’t help but wish that your mother were here with you, guiding you through this pivotal day.

With the international media coverage, a small part of you hoped that wherever she was, she would see the news and know that her daughter was getting married.

“You look stunning,” one of your bridesmaids said, her voice filled with genuine admiration.

“Bucky’s going to lose his breath when he sees you,” another chimed in, a playful grin on her face.

“You two are perfect for each other,” someone added, placing a hand on your shoulder. “We’ve all seen the way he looks at you. There’s no doubt in my mind this is exactly how it’s supposed to be.”

Their words were heartfelt, and as they each gave their blessings, you couldn’t help but feel a surge of warmth. Their support made the day even more special, reminding you that you weren’t just marrying Bucky—you were also surrounded by people who truly cared for you and wanted to see you happy.

The wedding became a national holiday, a day of grand celebration and international coverage. Streets were lined with eager spectators as the festivities unfolded in a magnificent parade. Soldiers in gleaming uniforms rode atop powerful horses, their disciplined ranks adding a military grandeur to the occasion.

King Leonard seized the opportunity to showcase the might of Veridian, reminding the world of the nation's strength under his iron rule. As Bucky watched the display, he realized with a sinking feeling that he had truly entered the lion's den.

“We have to go to the church,” said Archer, the Defense Minister of Veridian. With no family of his own, Bucky found himself accompanied by Archer, his father’s old friend and now the closest thing he had to family. The ministry of defense, a symbol of the power Bucky was stepping into, stood by his side.

They climbed into a classic Rolls-Royce, the car gliding through the streets toward the church. The clear windows made Bucky an object of attention, with every pair of eyes in the crowd focused on him. People cheered and waved the flag of the country, their excitement palpable as they awaited the groom’s arrival.

“Wave, Bucky,” Archer prompted.

Bucky waved, but it felt hollow. He was like a goldfish in a glass bowl, exposed and on display for all to see.

“Your father would be proud of you,” Archer remarked.

Bucky could only wish his father were there to see this day.

“Except your mom. She’d be furious that you’re marrying the king’s daughter,” Archer added with a wry smile.

“If she’s still alive, I hope this is enough to bring her back, wherever she is,” Bucky replied, his voice tinged with a longing he couldn’t suppress.

“She’s still alive,” Archer said, his tone suddenly serious.

Bucky’s eyes snapped to Archer’s, disbelief and hope warring within him. “Don’t joke with me,” he said, his voice tight with emotion.

“I know where she is,” Archer responded calmly.

Relief washed over Bucky like a tidal wave, the best news he had heard in years. “Where is she?” he demanded, but then hesitated, glancing around. “Wait, is it safe to talk about this here?”

“There are no bugs in the car, and the driver is one of my people,” Archer reassured him.

Thank God, Bucky thought, grateful that Archer had thought everything through. “So where is she?”

“In an enemy state,” Archer said, pausing before revealing the name. “Thalassa.”

Bucky’s world tilted on its axis. Thalassa—the very mention of the place sent a chill down his spine. King Leonard’s decree was clear: anyone who visited Thalassa would be branded a traitor. His mother had chosen to live in a country that refused to acknowledge Leonard as the rightful ruler.

“I hope you can make a change around here,” Archer said, his words heavy with meaning.

Bucky could only hope, his mind spinning with the revelation and the burden it now placed on his shoulders.

👑👑👑👑👑

Bucky arrived at the church first, stepping into the grand hall that had been meticulously decorated for the royal wedding. The aisles were lined with white roses, and soft golden drapes hung from the high arches, casting a warm, regal glow throughout the space. The scent of fresh flowers mixed with the incense, creating an atmosphere that was both sacred and celebratory.

Diplomatic guests from across the world filled the pews, their attire as varied and ornate as their countries of origin. Bucky, however, recognized none of them. They were not his guests but those of King Leonard, each one a powerful figure in their own right, all there to witness the union under the king's command.

Bucky's attention was momentarily diverted to the seats behind King seat. Cassian and his uncle, Duke Griffin, were seated there, their presence adding another layer of complexity to the scene.

Cassian, who had earlier expressed his disillusionment with the arranged marriage, now sat with a mask of indifference. His eyes occasionally flicked toward Bucky, a mixture of pity and curiosity in his gaze. Beside him, Duke Griffin, an imposing figure with a sharp gaze, remained impassive.

As Bucky stood at the front, feeling the weight of their gazes on him, the doors opened to reveal King Leonard. The entire congregation stood and bowed deeply as the king entered, a silent acknowledgment of his absolute authority. Leonard’s presence commanded the room, his every step echoing through the grand hall.

Before taking his seat, Leonard approached Bucky, his expression unreadable. He placed a firm hand on Bucky’s shoulder, a gesture that felt more like a warning than reassurance.

“Your duty is just to make my daughter happy,” Leonard said, his voice low and cold. “I don’t expect anything else from you.”

Bucky didn’t trust himself to speak. He simply nodded, his throat tight, as Leonard withdrew and moved to his place of honor.

A hush fell over the crowd as the master of ceremonies stepped forward. “Ladies and gentlemen,” the voice echoed through the church, “the bride, Her Royal Highness, the Princess, will now arrive.”

As the church doors opened, the anticipation in the air became palpable. The choir's voices rose in harmony with the music, and the orchestra began playing Canon in D, the notes echoing through the grand hall.

Bucky stood at the altar, his back to the entrance. His heart pounded in his chest, each beat a drum of nervous energy that reverberated through his entire being. He knew the moment had come, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn around just yet. His breath caught in his throat as he tried to steady himself, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.

As you entered the church, the soft rustle of your gown mixed with the melodious strains of Canon in D, creating a symphony that enveloped you. Each step felt like you were walking through a dream, your heart pounding with a mix of excitement and nerves.

The grandeur of the church overwhelmed you—the lavish decorations, the rows of esteemed diplomatic guests, and the sea of faces turned in anticipation. But amidst the opulence, your focus was solely on Bucky. He was the reason for every flutter in your chest, every tremor in your hands.

Your bouquet of fresh flowers felt like a lifeline, grounding you amidst the storm of emotions. The crown your father had gifted you, a delicate piece of history, seemed to weigh heavier now. It was a reminder of your lineage and the monumental step you were about to take.

The aisle stretched before you, a path leading to your future. With every step, you could feel the weight of the moment pressing down on you. Despite the nerves and the overwhelming feeling that this was all too surreal, a smile found its way to your lips. You couldn’t believe it—after everything you’d been through, you were finally here, marrying the man you loved.

King Leonard, standing beside you, took a firm but reassuring grip on your arm. His presence was both a comfort and a reminder of the responsibility and expectation that came with this union. As he guided you down the aisle, the weight of the moment was palpable. His role was to lead you to Bucky, ensuring that you were united in front of everyone who mattered.

As you reached the midpoint of the aisle, you looked up at him with a grateful smile. "Thank you, Father."

Leonard's gaze softened slightly, though his voice remained steady. "If he ever makes you cry or hurts you, just tell me."

You met his eyes with unwavering confidence. "That will never happen."

As you walked closer, Bucky finally found the courage to turn around. The sight of you took his breath away. You looked like a vision, an ethereal presence that made his heart skip a beat. His chest tightened with a mix of love and fear, knowing that this was it—the moment that would change both your lives forever.

The ceremony began, and the priest’s voice filled the air with solemnity and grace. He spoke of love, commitment, and the vows you were about to take. The words washed over you both, their weight sinking deep into your hearts. Bucky glanced at you, his heart pounding, as the priest asked him the most important question of his life.

"Do you, James Buchanan Barnes, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, till death do you part?"

Bucky’s voice was steady, though he felt anything but. "I do."

The priest then turned to you, and you felt a wave of emotions—love, fear, excitement—crash over you.

"And do you, Princess, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, till death do you part?"

With a voice filled with certainty and love, you answered, "I do."

The priest smiled warmly and announced, "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

Bucky reached up to lift your veil, his hands trembling slightly. As he finally revealed your face, your smile met his, a beacon of pure joy that made his heart race.

Without waiting for the priest to instruct you, Bucky leaned in and kissed you. The spontaneous, heartfelt gesture drew laughter and applause from the guests, filling the church with a warmth that melted away any lingering tension.

Hand in hand, you and Bucky turned to face the guests, but first, you both bowed deeply to the king.

King Leonard, with a measured smile, stepped forward. "Welcome to the family, James."

Bucky met the king's gaze, doing his best to suppress the unease bubbling beneath the surface. "It's an honor, Your Majesty."

With the formalities complete, you both began the procession down the aisle, greeting guests as you went. Outside the church, the crowds had gathered, their cheers erupting as you stepped out. The sight of you in your beautiful white dress and Bucky in his military uniform was like something out of a fairy tale. The people waved flags and called out well-wishes, celebrating what seemed to be the happiest day of your life.

But Bucky couldn’t shake the gnawing fear that clung to him. The memory of the blood-red message burned in his mind, making him feel vulnerable in the open space. As much as he tried to keep up appearances, the urge to get inside, away from prying eyes, was overwhelming.

Thankfully, the ornate carriage that awaited you both was fitted with bulletproof glass, offering a sense of security that Bucky desperately needed. Once inside, you beamed with happiness, the joy of the day radiating from you.

"Can you believe it, Bucky? We’re finally married!" you said, your voice bubbling with excitement as you squeezed his hand.

Bucky forced a smile, trying to match your enthusiasm. "Yeah… finally."

You leaned closer to him, your eyes sparkling. "I knew this day would be perfect, but I never imagined it would feel this incredible."

Bucky nodded, his mind racing. "It’s everything you deserved."

You noticed a hint of something in his voice—a flicker of doubt, perhaps—but dismissed it, too wrapped up in the joy of the moment to let it linger.

As the carriage began its journey back to the castle, you continued talking about the day, the guests, and the future that lay ahead. Bucky listened, his hand still holding yours, but his thoughts were elsewhere, his eyes flicking nervously toward the bulletproof windows. The carriage offered safety, but the dread in his heart remained.

Unaware of the storm brewing inside him, you smiled, resting your head on his shoulder, content in the belief that this was the start of your happily ever after.

👑👑👑👑👑👑

Bucky had just finished changing into a suit when he stepped out of the room, adjusting his tie. The weight of the day was pressing down on him, but he was determined to keep it together for your sake. As he walked into the hallway, he was suddenly shoved back, his shoulder slamming into the wall. The shock of the impact made him blink, and when his eyes focused, he felt as if he were seeing a ghost.

"Lucas?" Bucky's voice wavered in disbelief.

The man before him was a wreck—a shadow of the comrade he once knew. Lucas’s face was gaunt, his eyes bloodshot and wild, his clothes disheveled like he had crawled out from the depths of hell. His hands trembled, and in one of them, a gun was pointed directly at Bucky's chest.

"You… you fucking traitor!" Lucas spat the words with venom, his voice cracking under the weight of betrayal. "We trusted you! Our comrades… our friends… and you sold us out to that monster!"

Bucky raised his hands slowly, trying to calm his friend. "Lucas, listen to me—"

"Shut up!" Lucas’s voice was a shriek, desperate and unhinged. He shook his head, his grip on the gun tightening. "You don’t get to talk! Do you know what they did to us? What they did to me?"

"I know, and I’m going to make things right," Bucky said, his voice low, trying to keep it steady even as his heart raced. "But killing me won’t change what happened."

"You don’t get it, do you? It’s too late! It’s all too fucking late!" Lucas’s eyes were filled with rage and sorrow, a man broken by unimaginable horrors. He took a step closer, the barrel of the gun trembling but still aimed squarely at Bucky.

Bucky could see Lucas was beyond reason, his mind fractured by the torment he had endured. Every second felt like an eternity as the gun wavered, Lucas’s finger twitching on the trigger. The fear was real, but Bucky couldn’t let it control him.

"Lucas, please," Bucky’s voice was almost a whisper. "I swear, I didn’t betray you. We can fix this together—"

A gunshot rang out, the sound echoing through the hall like a death knell. Bucky squeezed his eyes shut, expecting the searing pain of a bullet tearing into him. But nothing came. No pain, no darkness. He opened his eyes, and the sight before him made his breath catch in his throat.

Lucas stood there, his eyes wide with shock, blood seeping through his shirt from a wound in his chest. He staggered, his grip on the gun loosening. Bucky instinctively reached out, catching Lucas before he could collapse to the floor.

"It… it wasn’t you. I’m… Avenge us," Lucas choked out, blood bubbling up in his mouth as he spoke.

"Don’t speak, Lucas. I’ll get help," Bucky said, his voice breaking as he tried to hold back the tears. He could feel the life draining out of his friend, the warmth leaving his body.

"It’s… too late," Lucas whispered, his voice barely audible now.

Bucky looked up, desperation and anger swirling in his chest, and that’s when he saw him—Isaac. The man he thought was dead, standing there as if nothing had happened. Isaac was clean, composed, his hair neatly combed, and his suit pristine. He looked every bit the part of someone who had just stepped out of a palace, not a prison.

"You," Bucky growled, his voice filled with fury as he held Lucas’s lifeless body. "It was you."

Isaac’s lips curled into a cold smile. He bowed his head slightly, a mockery of respect. "From now on, I serve you, Your Highness."

"You fucking traitor!" Bucky’s voice was a roar of pain and anger. He wanted nothing more than to rip Isaac apart, to make him pay for everything he had done.

"Oh, what a good job youdid on your first day." A cold, authoritative voice cut through the tension.

Bucky looked up to see King Leonard, his presence commanding the room. The king walked in, seemingly oblivious to the blood-stained scene before him, as if Lucas's dying body was nothing more than a minor inconvenience.

Isaac straightened up and greeted the king with a formal nod. "It’s my duty, sir."

King Leonard smiled, his gaze shifting to Bucky, who was still cradling Lucas’s lifeless form. "Let me introduce you to the new head of the castle guard, Isaac."

Bucky’s anger simmered just below the surface, his hands clenched into fists. Isaac, the man who had betrayed them all, was now standing here with the king’s blessing. This was no longer just a political game—this was personal.

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[dreams-shape-the-world]

There has been some debate out there regarding what type of angel Crowley was before the fall. Some have speculated that he was a minor angel, that knew a bit of this and that, which is what landed him in the spot that he is in right now.

After a bit of research, I have come to the conclusion that Crowley was a Virtue. Everything that I have read points to him being, at one point, in the Third Tier in angel hierarchy, with Powers and Dominions. This actually puts him above Aziraphale, in which he is a Principality.

Let's delve into what a Virtue does in the grand scheme of things. One of their primary goals is, well, to run the universe, control the elements, seasons and command storms. But also, they assist in making miracles for HER, a bit on that part later.

When see Crowley, he is sent to start the universe, this is his role as Virtue. But he not only starts the engine, he oversees the entirety of it, the planets, stars, everything. That is why he so upset when he was told that it all has to be destroyed, he was the one, or at least part, that helped create it and supposed to maintain it.

We see him here, manipulating rain to make Maggie and Nina get together, the "dawn of a new awing" , as he said. He hasn't controlled the weather in a long time, but it comes back to him naturally. This is because that is part of who he is and what he does.

Finally, the miracle to hide Gabriel. Aziraphale suggests, half a miracle from each would be fine, so Crowley goes along with it. I think the mistake was that I don't think Crowley is capable of doing just half a miracle. Yes, we have seen him do minor things, but what they are attempting is out of the ordinary. Aziraphale is able to do his half miracle, but I don't think Crowley is wired to do that. I thought for the longest time it went wrong because there were under the symbol that Aziraphale uses to contact the Metraton, but now, looking over this, I think it was because Crowley was a Virtue Angel. Part of their role is to help create miracles for HER, a direct mandate from HER to do this, so yea, SHE isn't doing any half miracles for humankind.

I also think that it puts into perspective how close to HER he was, since we know how much his "sauntered" from grace affected him. He was part of the engine, and was supposed to be its caretaker, if I am correct in his being a Virtue, I am truly saddened because they took away one of things that he cared for, the universe. For all I know I am way off base with this, but it has been fun seeing where this lead me and adding to the other theories out there.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Can you explain what's the deal with Val's mother rosary?

OOOHHHH SURE I'm actually dying to do this since it was not possible to do in text!

(For the record, anon refers to this fic of mine but tl;dr when Valentino spawned in Hell he was holding his mother's rosary. He threw it away multiple times but it keeps reappearing.)

Basically, like Val said, his mother prayed a lot for him. She didn't want him to turn out like her abusive husband, so she prayed that he'd somehow avoid following the seemingly inevitable path of evil (she pretty much knew there was a slim chance he wouldn't get recruited by the cartel). But it didn't work. She was killed too early to even try raising him to be a better man. However, even in heaven, she kept praying, hoping to grant him some saving grace for all the awful things he was doing. But it wasn't enough. Val never even tried to redeem himself, and after death, he ended up in hell.

Okay, so here's where my Catholic upbringing kicks in: there's this belief that prayers can help souls in purgatory get to heaven. And while I might not be the most religious person, I'm a sucker for themes of maternal love and angst. So, the rosary becomes a tangible symbol of Val's mother's faith, powered by divine magic. Val himself has no clue about it, but it's essentially his ticket to heaven. Not a free pass, mind you, but a sign that his otherwise irredeemable acts could be forgiven if he changes his ways, because his mother spent her life, and even afterlife, fighting for his soul. It's more of a reward for her than for him. And that's the tragic part: Valentino will never seize this opportunity. I mean, there's no instruction manual attached, so he doesn't really know what the rosary is supposed to do. But every time he holds it, he recalls what his mother wanted for him and how much she cared. Deep down, he gets what he's expected to do, but unaware of the potential reward, he rejects the chance every single time. Because he's truly twisted, irredeemable, always opting for evil if it benefits him. And I like making myself sad with the idea that there's still someone having so much faith in him.

[katyspersonal]

Oddly enough I've gotten random Radagon x Tarnished thoughts 🤔

Like, imagine a scenario where Tarnished instead yields to him and surrenders the Shards in their possession for him to use for Elden Ring. Radagon is kind of strange, he is not even just a very devout follower of GO but literally called 'Golden Order Radagon' in JP original. He'd probably accept without much hard feelings regarding what they had to do to get them, especially after growing apart from Marika as much as he did now.

Called Tarnisheds were also supposed to become Marika's "consort"; it is what Two Fingers said, it is what everyone in the setting believes, it is what Tarnished themselves believe and go for... But at this rate, Radagon must believe he is much more "qualified" to serve as a vessel of GW than Marika. If anything, Tarnished should become his "consort" now. He'd probably still tease them about "Elden Lord" stuff, but, well.. this IS their proper place within GO, right? Marika is being a lot like Trina, an alter that became discarded and strongly inert (beyond telepathically letting Gideon know her TRUE wishes apparently ngjgkgf)! Which is somewhat funny, because she used to be dominant alter! Radagon has more freedom than he probably knows what to do with, he really just wants to rebuild the world he used to know

Speaking of which, maybe if Tarnished also gave him Miquella's discarded rune, he'd try to glue it back into its splendor. There is no way to return what Ranni took into her "grave", of course.. However, Tarnisheds are capable of gestating Runes on their own that could mend Elden Ring, right? What if Radagon started to torture Tarnished, physically or with Insight or both, in order to get them to create a Rune as close to what Elden Ring lost with Ranni as possible? Tarnished might even consent to it. They are SO close, they are only one shard away! Normally a lethal process (Fia dies even without Devin), but Radagon could resurrect them as much as it takes, he has the power to..

And he'd offer actual affection and aftercare when they're making great progress. They maybe got to be his consort, but they still should "earn" it. Two Fingers maybe didn't care who patches back the rift that Marika had created and how, but HE has some standards :p He could even promise them Grace if they help him. The time he first kissed them felt certainly like an Event.

Also I assume that with mending Elden Ring back fully with all its lost shards (and one "Ranni's shard at home" fnggxb), his body certainly would heal too. He'd encourage them to touch his chest area more, maybe even guide their hands to do so. Because it used to be so broken it had a gaping hole in it, but thanks to them it is healthy now. They have right to admire and touch his body however they want now. It is as much their work as it is his. + the symbolism from how it is also where his heart is though.... Maybe it is "wrong", to fall in love with someone over how much of a "help" they've been? It could be for normal humans, but for a divine masterpiece it is as genuine as it gets.

[shebeafancyflapjack]

The Ghosts thoughts after first meeting Silver (My OC)

Julian

"Great. A bloody hippy. That's all we need. But so long as she leaves all that tree hugging malarkey outside, we should get on swimmingly - as out of all this lot I'm the one who's most down with the kids of today. We can chat Tetris and Pac Man and Jason Donovan."

Humphrey

"Seems a sweet enough girl. Clearly got a bit of trouble staying focused but that should let her fit in well enough with the others. We had a bit of laugh for the fleeting moment we did chat, good sense of humor on her once you get her talking. All the woo stuff goes over my head but to each their own, at least she has a hobby."

Fanny

"Outrageous! As if I didn't think the company here could become even more debauched, we now have a scantily clad heathen child running about! Whatever next?! She claims not to be a prostitute but just look at those stockings! And that tattoo and that piercing! Can't the feral urchin remain in the woods?!"

Captain

"Tragic for anyone to die so young. With that said, the girl doesn't seem to care much for authority or my offer to take her under my wing to explain how we run things in this house. She's no Katherine, that's for certain, and I do hope her disrespect doesn't rub off on her if they're to become friends. Quite a fetching pair of boots though."

Pat

"Aww, it's always great to have a new face join us! Not so great that she's just a kid, but she seems to be handling it well, bless her heart. She says she loves the outdoors so am looking forward to sharing all my know how with her, though we're gonna have to rein in a bit of that potty mouth on her, for the sake of the vein in Lady B's forehead."

Thomas

"I admit to feeling the briefest of attractions when laying my eyes upon this new maiden who graced our home of the undead, with so much of her body on display it was a test of will to lower my gaze in respect. The moment of lust swiftly passed, as alas it seems, like our dear departed Annie, she seems to only have eyes for the fairer sex. I suppose we have that in common at least."

Kitty

"Oh hooray! A friend! A girl friend my own age, I never thought I'd be so lucky! And she has pink hair. PINK hair! Can I have pink hair? I know ghosts can't change outfits but we can change hair, can't we?! Oh and she loves games and dancing as much as I do! Not quite sure on some of the music she prefers, a bit too....scary for my taste but that My Immortal is hauntingly beautiful! The whole witchcraft thing makes me a little nervous, especially since Eleanor and I once tried to contact the spirit of Mama as children. But perhaps dear Silver could help me with a love potion?"

Mary

"Demon. Demon child. Beelzebub's brat. Lucifer's seed! Look at her, no shame at all, wearing the Dark Lord's symbol on her neck with pride! Doth she not fear the ducking stool? Wilt she not kiss the feet of the Virgin and beg for forgiveness?! Maybe she not be human. Mayhaps she be one of the Fae or a Changeling in disguise as a mere little'en. Can already see some of the others fallin' under her charms. She will bring ruination on us all.....Unless serious measures be taken, so they must...God have mercy on her soul, if one be there." [Mary's first impressions would later be SERIOUSLY redacted]

Robin

"Strange young lady dance alone under Moonah. Sing praise to Moonah. Drink funny smelling tea. See Robin. Dance with Robin. Then scream. Then dead. Then sleep real long time. She ask me to stay. I stay. Wait. It big boring but stay. She pretty. Young and pale. Remind me of sister. No not THAT sister, ew. Baby sister. Nah. We save her at birth with Moonah water but she still die young. Me lay her in blue flowers. Dad call her Moonah Girl. Me lay strange girl in same flowers. Tell others there dead girl in woods. They no listen. I visit new girl every day. Still sleep. On full moonah, she finally wake. She connected to Moonah. She new Moonah Girl. Funny and silly, chat very fast then sometimes go long quiet. Very strange. Have to protect. She need friend. I stay close. Failed first Moonah Girl...can't ever fail new one."

[zorilleerrant]

Poppy is load bearing. like you don't get it, Poppy is anchoring. it's such an important theme, these connections in the 21st, and how life is more real while they're living it, how they wanted to save people, save everyone, but they didn't know what that meant until they saw it, until they saw who everyone was. and then it really was everyone they were trying to save. every single person started mattering to them, and they lost the perspective of distance, and they stopped caring about numbers and started caring about each individual connection in each individual life they saw.

and no one does that more than Phillip. because he's supposed to be the coldest and most distant out of all of them, they trained him that way since he was a baby, they wanted him to just spew facts and figures and never give a damn about any of them. but he's the one who sees instantly that everything is real, everyone is there, and there's so much that could be done, can be done, can't be done, that if you stopped to think about it you could never stop thinking. he doesn't have any one person to care about because he cares so much about everyone, he wants to save every single person in the world even though he knows he can't. that's what suckers him in. that's what grounds him in the 21st. no one person, because every single person he sees is infinitely real to him.

because Grant, he has his wife, and her art, and her passion, and the strings of fate that connect her to history and to other people. and Carly, she has her baby, and that hope, that representation of new life, and the way she's completely responsible for this microcosm of the future. and Marcy, she has her friend/lover/who-knows-what and everything he represents, every life he touches and the way he shares the world with all of them. and Trevor has the most of all: he has his parents, who heap their hopes and dreams on him, and his classmates, who see themselves reflected in him, and his girlfriend, who builds on their relationship as a foundation for every other relationship she'll ever have. and he has Grace, and Grace has - Grace has trouble, fitting in. she doesn't feel the connection, but she still cares so, so deeply, even without it. marked absence. all of them have people who tie them to the past.

and Phillip has no one, because he has everyone. the very idea of that would get muddied if they tied him to any one life, and yet, they need something to concretize that relationship. he needs a symbol of his life in the past, settling in, becoming a person who lives in that world and is part of that world and hopes for that world and can care for that world as best he can.

he needs a turtle.

[aashi-heartfilia]

I know what you mean about the Ochako situation, like isn’t she post to be the heroine in this manga ?

I can’t remember any moments that stud out to me besides Ochako vs Katsuki fight (but that was like in season 2? )

Honestly out of all quirks , I really liked Ochako. It’s gravity !

it has so many potentials if giving the chance to shine

Like imagine her touching the floor , and the floor light up pink for miles and if your in the pink zone you float ! From living to non living things

or maybe if Horikoshi read other mangas or movies that has gravity users to get ideas from , like Shiki from Eden’s zero (he’s a strong gravity user many moves Ochako could use) , or that one villain who used gravity to smack natsu about (fairy tail first movie )

I know right?

She's supposed to be the main heroine.

Except she's not.

She's a hero, because it's a show of heroes and true heroism. We get the moral part right but not the flashy cool moves part. At least she's not the damsel in distress but she doesn't do much either. At least every other hero gets to defeat villains and show cool moves.

Take the current arc for example:

Bakugo got Howitzer Impact Cluster Bomb and another cool suit upgrade

(and something tells me it's not over yet, he will make a comeback to save Deku from Shigaraki and come up with even more new cool moves as a result of his new development)

.

Mina got ACIDMAN-ALMA

.

Jirou got a team up with HAWKS!! Plus HEARTBEAT LEGATO was something!!

.

Tokoyami got BLACK ANKH BALDR...

(And this was pages worth of highlights)

.

Shouto keeps getting new moves here and there like anything...

(I don't even wanna count how many new moves he has)

Vs what Ochako got...

.

When Bakugo got Cluster, it was a culmination of his development in saving department.

A 9 page chapter that probably holds the record for shortest main chapter, a move that is shown in 1/3rd page with no proper planning or meaning behind it.

When Mina got ACIDMAN-ALMA, it was a symbol of her strength to protect those she care about.

Tokoyami's Ragnarok and other moves show that even if it's dark, there can be light.

Shouto's new moves proves that he is his own person and not just Endeavour's son or Dabi's brother.

What does Ochako's move signify?

Does it signify anything?

It doesn't. It's just bad/lazy writing. Even the anime writers could come up with a better move. Plus, hasn't Horikoshi already seen the anime original episode? Isn't that why he decided to make Selkei canon? So he should already know that Ochako can do it. I think that's the main problem. There were several moments where she could have shown new moves: During the Overhaul arc, Deku retrieval arc, or even in this war arc early on. My problem is that she's never shown to be training like others. She has the slowest and most mudane development in the entire series. That maybe a stretch but you get what I mean.

Plus, she got stabbed and everyone thinks she's dying and that sucks. Because morals are not alone to prevent injuries. People have no faith because they have never seen Ochako in a difficult situation where she is forced to put up a fight. That's also why the only moment that stands out in her arc was Bakugo vs Ochako and that was years ago.

That's also why her popularity has decreased.

Heck even I could come up with better moves for her.

Talk about disrespect. And she's supposed to be the main character. I think that's also a problem. She was always marketed as MC, which she's not. At least not in Horikoshi's story.

My only saving grace would be an epic quirk awakening...but seeing as things are going on right now...I don't have much hope left...even a rising chapter feels like too much to ask for.

[siena-sevenwits]

Blogging The Last Unicorn, Chapters 2-3 (reread)

I skipped the opening chapter and will return to it once I’m properly into the story – that first chapter always gets in the way of my rereading.

Oh, I love, love Peter S. Beagle’s lyrical prose and overly thoughtful dialogue. It’s a matter of taste, for sure, but every page is just a little gemmed casket of gleaming lines, and I love it. And the sheer sense of atmosphere!

I remember when I first read this book wondering whether the young Peter Beagle was terrified of old age, weakness, and what some perceive as ugliness. I gathered this particularly from the scene where the Unicorn hears Elli sing the song of old age, and she’s filled with more horror than almost anything in the story (and this is echoed by what happens to her later in the book.) And there are other ways this is touched on throughout the tale. But on reread I see much more appreciation for the gift of growing old too. In fact, it’s considered a curse that one character is physically stuck in his twenties, and a grace when that curse is lifted. And though Molly is angry and broken hearted that the Unicorn didn’t come to her in the innocence of her youth but instead found her in her middle age, full of cares, Molly ultimately finds the greatest joys and meaning in her life at this later age. She is even called beautiful, I think. But I’m getting ahead of the story.  

It seems to me that it is right that the unicorn should find old age and death horrifying, for she was created to be immortal, and is fulfilling her nature. Whereas the humans, who were created mortal, fear aging but ultimately embrace it, and thus learn to fulfill their natures.

It’s Chapter Two, and Schmendrick is with us! One of the two best characters in the book! I am amazed how many sides of his character are actually seen within the first few chapters, though they might be more evident on reread.

I love books that strike me as faintly (or strongly) allegorical by turns, but which are so multi-faceted that nothing in the story can really function as a simple, easily translatable symbol. The parallels are always shifting. We can see profound thoughts in the work if we interpret Schmendrick now as a type of the frustrated creative writer, and now as the soul encountering the divine for the first time, and now as a double sided coin of youth and old age. But he’s not a cardboard character, and any allegorical reading ceases to work if you try to apply it to the whole story. In that respect this book is a little like Tolkien’s work – extremely applicable by various lights, but impossible to draw up a table of who symbolizes what. I suppose that is the kind of story our own lives are.

Speaking of Schmendrick the creative artist, this analogy means a lot to me and makes the part where he tries to open the cage dear to me. I love that he had the keys the whole time but wanted it to be the beautiful spell that got her free.

“You deserve the services of a great wizard, but I’m afraid you’ll have to be glad of the aid of a second-rate pickpocket,” is a dear line to me.

Mommy Fortuna knows Schmendrick and the Unicorn have been conspiring, and probably that they mean to escape, but she seems no more worried about it than she does about the harpy getting free. Is it for the same reason? That she held them captive once and they will always remember it, and that’s her immortality? Or some other reason? Also, the lock speaks in Mommy Fortuna’s voice when Schemndrick steals the key and tries to open the cage.

I love that the string of threats, “YOU BARBED WIRE! YOU PILE OF STONES! […] I’LL CHANGE YOUR HEART INTO GREEN GRASS, AND ALL YOU LOVE INTO A SHEEP! I’LL TURN YOU INTO A BAD POET WITH DREAMS! I’LL SET ALL YOUR TOENAILS GROWING INWARD, YOU MESS WITH ME!” (capitals mine) is answered with, “What are you talking about? You can’t turn cream into butter. I never did like you. You give yourself airs, and you’re not very strong.”

“A bloodshot moon burst out of the clouds, and the unicorn saw her – swollen gold, her streaming hair kindling, the slow, cold wings shaking the cage.” I love it. Some people don’t, but I just love it. It’s indigo prose, not purple, so far as I am concerned. In another story, it might not work. But it does here.

On the whole this book is just masterful, but there are moments when Beagle feels just a little self indulgent in a way that calls attention to itself. The Unicorn telling Arachne, “It’s very attractive, but it’s not art,” on her way to free the Harpy from her cage feels this way to me. So does, “Have a taco,” (which we haven’t reached yet, but it’s one of the few things in this book I sort of hate, so it’s present in my mind.)

[ecargmura]

My Happy Marriage Episode 7 Review - Endings and Beginnings

When one door closes, another opens. That’s what this episode technically is about. The door to the conflicts with the Saimori family has come to an end and then a door to a new arc with new conflicts opens. I really like the relaxed nature of this episode and the buildup of ominous things to come towards the end. I think the way the sakura tree stump disintegrated is a good representation of that; Miyo’s reliance on her mother ends as she steps forward into a new beginning with her fiancé.

The aftermath of the whole kidnapping ordeal ends with the Saimori and Tatsuishi families suffering severe consequences for their actions. The entire Saimori estate is burned to the ground. Mr. and Mrs. Saimori moved to the countryside while Kaya is sent to work as a servant for a strict household. Regarding the Tatsuishis, Mr. Tatsuishi is no longer head of the family; that is passed down to Kazushi now. The Tatsuishi family is now under the control of the Kudou family. I know that many want Miyo’s abusive family to die, but I do think that this is a better result. Falling from grace and then suffering from humiliation for the rest of their lives is the best end the greedy family could have. They all cared about their reputation and wealth, so for them to not have them anymore and whether it would make or break them befits them the best. Whatever happens to them are no longer Miyo and Kiyoka’s issues.

I do like how Kaya’s end is a bit of a foil to Miyo’s beginning. Kaya ends her stint with little luggage and a train ride to her new home where she’ll be treated strictly for a long time. Miyo’s beginning was taking little luggage and a train ride to her new home where she’d meet a strict husband and household, but that was the start of a happiness that will last a long time. It’s ironic in a way that both sisters have that same experience, but with different ends.

Koji also makes his exit as he decides to move to the old capital to train his abilities and to come back a stronger and better man for his family and for his future spouse. It’s unknown whether his marriage to Kaya has been annulled; does Koji even want Kaya? I do like how when Koji first made his appearance, he and Miyo were talking by the lake. For his supposed last appearance, he and Miyo part ways by that same lake. I do like the symbolism. I hope that Koji makes a future appearance and for him to have a cute wife too. He deserves his own happiness.

The end of Miyo’s suffering begins with a peaceful new start as she and Kiyoka finally document their engagement. However, the next step of their marriage process is to meet with Kiyoka’s family. Miyo is worried after learning that the old head of the Kudou family was the one who was sending out proposal requests for Kiyoka. The request for the Saimori household was most likely for Kaya, which is a part of Miyo’s worries as she fears they might be disappointed with her. Kiyoka reassures her that if his father rejects her, he’ll burn him. He’s a future wife guy, seriously. I do like how the marriage isn’t immediate, but takes time. Marriage in general is a long process. I’ve met people who tell me how long and tedious the process is from registering the marriage certificate and then holding a wedding; the whole process itself seems tedious to me.

Meeting the Kudou family formally will have to wait as Miyo wants to get herself educated on how to be a proper lady in order to impress her in-laws. Kiyoka was a bit reluctant at first, but he gives in; he requests that he’d pick out a teacher for her which turns out to be none other than Kiyoka’s older sister, Hazuki Kudou. What? He has an older sister? Miyo is meeting one of her in-laws already? I know that some girls in real life would seethe at the thought of training to be a proper lady, but please remember the time period this story takes place in. Hazuki was educated in a girls school and was once married, so she knows her ins and outs of being a proper lady; also, it’s best to have someone Kiyoka can trust to teach Miyo and not be a conniving person trying to ruin their marriage.

Hazuki is a cool character, I like her a lot. She’s knowledgeable and knows how to have fun. It’s great to see another person adoring Miyo; Miyo deserves all the love. I do like how Hazuki seems to be more into modern society with the way she dresses in western clothes, bobbed hair and has an outgoing demeanor. She’s the very opposite of Miyo, but they still get along well. I do love how she acts like a big sister to both Kiyoka and Miyo. I hope she appears more. She’s fun! I do love how she’s also a stepping stone for Miyo to decide on what sort of person she’ll become; for now, she wants to be someone deserving of Kiyoka.

The ending of the episode was rather unsettling and a huge change of tone from how the rest of the episode was before. The fact that the next conflict the couple will have to deal with seems to be a scary cult makes the Saimoris seem like child’s play now. What are those spirits they summoned? Are those Grotesqueries? Given that this might be the Usuba clan, it makes me worry for what’s to come. What will they do with Miyo? How will they overcome this ordeal? What did you think about this episode as a whole?

[sanguinesorcery]

name. Fariah Ariad

nickname(s). Fae; Your Imperial Grace; Your Imperial Viciousness

species. Humanoid/Sidhe

title. Her Imperial Grace, High Empress Fariah Ariad of House Ariad of Imperial Sidhe

P E R S O N A L .

morality. lawful/ neutral / chaotic / good / grey / evil

religious belief. Sidhe theology, a pantheon based around the belief that the gods touched the ground at the Clouded Isle and now use the Oracles who live there as their speaking point for their whims and wills

sins. lust  / greed / gluttony / sloth / pride /envy/ wrath

virtues. chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice

primary goals in life. Making sure her empire in its entirety is back up to the working order it was during her parents' peak reign. Of course marriage and children are also on the list to try and make sure the lineage continues to be born to and taught in the ways necessary of a proper Imperial, but at current that sits on a back-burner.

languages known.

-Sidhe: A vaguely mixed dialect of amalgamated Farsi and Sanskrit in our terms

-Godspeech: For conferences with the Oracles on the Clouded Isle; guttural back-of-the-throat sort of noises mixed with polyphonic throat-singing

-Hylian

secrets.

-Despite the regal air and intimidating presence expressed in a political setting, she’s a lot less of a towering monolith in private, always worried about how she’s presenting herself. Her Regent is more or less her confidence booster. After all, advice comes in many forms, this is no different. 

-She’s a bit of a lush when it comes to stress. She’ll have a small glass of wine to calm nerves when she thinks no one worth seeing her can, but of course one glass turns into three turns into twelve and this is why at least one Regent is always at her side, to act in part as impulse control to avoid the later drama that comes with a drunk Empress.

quirks.

-She sings at the drop of a hat. No, really, if something is on her mind, she’ll start by humming and then add lyrics to it in the form of a to-do list or something like that. Not everyone knows she does this.

-Like all of her people, even she can fall prey to the dreaded ‘hivemind’ pack mentality all Sidhe go through. In times of shared emotion, she will fall in time with those around her and they will all move in sync. Usually she’s the first out of it, though, as there needs to be a head to that wave.

savvies.

-Singing and dancing

-Physical combat

-Tactics and stratagem

-Politics [as much as she hates politics, she can still deal with the best of them]

P H Y S I C A L .

build. slender/ fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / babyfat / pudgy / obese / other

height. 6′6′‘

weight. 192 lbs

scars/birthmarks. As a proficient Blood Mage, she has quite a few scars where she has had to bleed herself for her magic at various tiers, though none as prominent in notice as the scar on her neck. From the back curve across the right side to the front curve, it is difficult to miss, a lighter shade than the skin around it. It is this one she displays regularly with pride, taking care not to wear chokers or heavy neck-cuffs that may obscure it from view and rather frames and enhances its notice. Her right arm is also dyed with inks from healed slices and cuts, her own latticework of previous sorcerous exploits.

abilities/powers.

-Life-force manipulation, particularly Vocal Manipulation; if the opposing mind is not closed or resistant to such power, she can use the tone and inflection of her voice to ease people into doing what she wants them to, including feeling certain emotions.

-Blood magick and bonding; the most common use of life-force manipulation in the Empire of Sidhe, of varying tiers, bonding, and power. While she does not have the largest object bonded to her, she does have the most articulated and the hardest to control. It is symbolic to her and to her people as proof that she is supposed to be on the throne.

-Like all of her people, she sees well in daylight, but the best at night; hence, her eyes [and all their eyes really unless blinded] shine in low light as reflective-silver discs. Her hearing is also incredibly sensitive, but that is also a racial trait.

F A V O U R I T E S .

favourite food. Anything made with lamb, really. She has a strong fondness for it.

favourite drink. A weird dark drink brewed over roasted beans her people call ‘cabean’. When in absence of this or tea, though, it’s wine.

topping. Meat-eater; anything with meat on it.

favourite colour. Blue

favourite music genre. Her peoples’ folk music, though she has a fondness for learning about others’ music. Music literally makes her world go ‘round and if she can dance to it, she likes it.

favourite book genre. History; War records; Family history; The occasional fantasy

favourite movie genre. If they existed, she’s one to watch war movies to point out the stupidity of how they’re done; Psychological horror is another one; B-movie fantasy as a guilty pleasure

favourite season. Autumn

favourite curse word. She doesn’t necessarily swear, per se. But ‘Oracles above!’ is a common exclamation of frustration, incredulousness, and simmering anger. Usually accompanied by venomous threats.

favourite scent.  The smell of the Dragon’s Blood they make their incense out of, deep and earthy; such trees where the resin is drained from grow on one of the islands in the empire, so it is a common scent. It reminds her of her people, and of her mother when mixed with the faintest hint of Styna’s Tears, a cluster of small white flowers with a subtle but pleasant fragrance that grows predominantly on the Clouded Isle, named after their most benevolent Empress.

F U N S T U F F .

bottom or top. Switch depending on partner

loud burper or soft burper. Very soft and polite and appropriate 'excuse me's and hiding behind her hand or a napkin ... unless in privacy with Eyrol, in which case all propriety is out the window and it’s time to put the old Admiral in his place

sings in the shower. yes /no

likes bad puns. yes / no [even though she scoffs at most of them]

their opinion on the mun. 'Not a terrible person, really. A little overwhelming sometimes.'

Tagged by myself~

Tagging: @uramii / @red-man-of-mustache || @atimelesslullaby || @lunarisdeus || @elegit || did i miss you? congrats! you're tagged!

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

The I feel like she sees me line being said to Eddie who is the person that truly sees Buck for all that he is. Are we supposed to take this line at face value which would indicate piss poor writing because they needed to rush to a horrible ending or do we take it as Buck being an unreliable narrator? What was the audience supposed to interpret from Buck saying that, were we truly supposed to believe him or we supposed to be pissed at Buck for saying this to the one person that truly sees Buck?

Good morning to me, I guess.

I'm assuming you haven't really seen people's reactions in the fandom on tumblr because I feel like I saw this said in quite a few posts going around, but you are absolutely not supposed to take this line at face value. I'm surprised that people think you should. 9-1-1 has from the beginning had a habit of turning friendships into romantic relationships (Bathena and Madney) and taking their time with these things rather than having an instalove situation. Even Karen and Hen, who meet when they're set up on a date together, don't instantly fall in love. I do not think they would set Eddie or Buck up for an endgame relationship with a woman by having them date that woman immediately, even if they didn't plan to make Buddie canon.

Buck is clearly struggling post-death. He's lost and once again looking for the answer from a romantic partner. He did a lot of growth in regards to his family relationships this season but not his romantic ones. Remember, his couch ended up destroyed and he asked his latest girlfriend to pick the new one out for him. Again. He's still not picking his own damn couch. After being unable to sleep on the one his mom gave him but passed out instantly on Eddie's where he ran to feel safe.

If people think this is all, somehow, an accident or the writers are doing this without knowing what they're doing, then I can't help you. Do you also think the symbolism I put into my fanfics are a total accident? Do you guys think I picked the name of the poem "Fuchsia Emerald Alizarin Rose" just because the colors are fun and they accidentally spell out F.E.A.R. or do you think maybe I did that absolutely 100% on purpose and was waiting for someone to realize?

Buck saying that to Eddie is 100% supposed to make the audience raise their eyebrows. Especially when we see Eddie's reaction. He's confused and he's hurt and he's annoyed. Eddie then spends his next few lines showing Buck (and us) that he sees Buck. Buck misses it, it goes right over his head, but the audience is shown that Buck is wrong and Eddie sees him.

I think there was a lot of internal stuff going on behind the scenes way high up the ladder that meant Buddie didn't happen this season. No, I don't mean that in a tinhatting way, I just mean that they knew Fox wouldn't renew them, they didn't know if they'd get picked up somewhere else, Fox hasn't promoted or cared about this show the way it has its other shows in a while, and I think it's pretty clear there was shuffling and changes going on with 6B. So I think things had to be put off. Similar to the pandemic, where I genuinely wonder what kind of season four we would've gotten if we'd had the full 18 episodes and hadn't had to work around Covid. I think that when we know there was a big shift going on behind the scenes, we need to have some grace and patience in how that will effect the story that's told on screen.

But I think that this default to "everything good we see on our screens is an accident and the writers are making shitty choices" is a horrible bad faith argument, and it's exhausting. Aren't you exhausted? I'm exhausted. Fandom shouldn't treat the writing and production team like their enemies any more than the writing and production team should treat the fans like their enemies in some kind of war they have to win (looking at you, GoT showrunners).

We are supposed to be annoyed that Buck is missing the point. We are supposed to see Buck's yearning to be a husband and a father, and how he's missing what's right in front of him. We are supposed to put two and two together and see that Eddie was hurt by Buck's words, that Eddie sees Buck, that Eddie is Buck's safe place, and that Eddie in that moment decided he might not have a chance with Buck and needs to move on, because previously we saw Eddie admit he wants romance again but he doesn't want to go out on dates, we saw his aunt say she met her husband through work, we saw him say 'we have time' and then we saw him immediately after Buck tells him about this new girl who "sees him" flee to visit his mother and then immediately actually try dating. On a meta level this is also because Eddie needs confidence in himself as a romantic partner and needs some more experience under his belt before he's ready to take the plunge with Buck, but in Eddie's mind, I think it's pretty clear he feels Buck will never want him back and he's trying to find the love he wants somewhere else, even if his heart is still Buck's.

So that's what I think. I think it's not explicitly spelled out for a few reasons, but frankly if one of them was a woman we wouldn't need it explicitly spelled out and personally I kinda like that it's not. Something that annoys me with M/F pairings is the constant "we all know you two like each other" talks from third parties that half the time aren't about the characters but are about the audience, to either tell the audience SEE THEY LIKE EACH OTHER THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT or to give the audience some fanservice while the characters aren't ready to get together. I don't need to be pandered to that way, thank you, so I'm a fan of the slightly more subtle approach that I, personally, see going on with Buddie.

If you or anyone else disagrees with me and feels it was just "piss poor writing" then that's entirely your right. I'd just appreciate it if people who feel that way would stop watching the show, and stop putting their complaints into the inboxes of people who clearly do enjoy the show.

TL;DR - You answered your own question, Buck is an unreliable narrator (and always has been) and we are supposed to be frustrated he said this to Eddie who has proven time and again (and does so in that very scene) that he sees Buck.

[dribs-and-drabbles]

#BADBUDDYREWATCH

Ep 9

Seriously, how, HOW did Wai listen to Pran say he's afraid people will find out about him and Pat and STILL reveal their relationship in such a public way. He would have been unfriended for LIFE if he did that to me. I'm so mad at him. SO MAD. Poor little pathetic man-child didn't like that Pran lied to him. DON'T CARE. What he did was UNACCEPTABLE. (gosh I didn't realise I would feel so angry watching this again).

I LOVE that they used the same music again as the end of ep 8 (First Shooter by Bonnie Grace). The energy and drama in the ending...amazing!

Yeah, no, even after hearing Wai's reasoning why he's so upset I still don't have sympathy/empathy for him. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I love you Jimmy but Wai, no.

After all that emphasis with the rivalry and 'sides' last ep with the costumes, Pat and Pran explicitly talk about how things are going on their different sides...

The sacrifice. My man Pat is down baaaaad. He'll do anything for his man Pran. And even though Pran doesn't say anything, the fact that he pulls Pat's hand away speaks volumes. He sees the sacrifice Pat would make for him, basks in it even, the love that flows between them, and draws so much strength from it. It's how he can be so open now with Pat even though their friends/faculty have abandoned them, they have each other.

Pat getting the red vest which puts him and Wai on the same team - yes, it's supposed to cause tension between them but it's also symbolic of how, through their shared love of Pran, they are on the same team/side now. They have to be, or at least have to work out a way to be, for Pran.

And I love that through it all, with Wai being the most man-baby possible, Pran doesn't push Pat away. He allows Pat to still tease and play with him out in the open even though it upsets Wai more... The understanding, the conviction, the trust, the happiness he gets from Pat...

Ahhhhhh I just love the hotpot double date! Squeeeeeee!

We always talk about Pa's Oh moment - that she started questioning herself after Ink suggested she could be a love interest for Pa - but I don't think we've talked about Ink here - she must have walked away feeling crushed, having had to tell Pa that she was joking about hitting on her. But it's ok, because Pa got there in the end!

It's a shame the subtitles didn't include "My boyfriend is" instead of "you're" when Pat says "You're trying to make up with him here" because I'm pretty sure that's what Pat says. Out loud. For everyone to hear. 💪🏼

Oh dear god the second hand embarrassment I felt for the drink scene...but honestly it makes me laugh so hard now. Pat and Pran are made for each other. They're both dorks. Idiots (affectionate) in love. smh.

I just realised what the cold shoulder Pran gets from Safe and Louis reminds me of...a scene in my fav movie of all time, Some Kind of Wonderful, when the lead female's friends gives her the cold shoulder. Worlds colliding...🤯 (honestly, if you haven't seen this movie then do. It's really dated now, but it's a great friends-to-lovers film...most likely problematic nowadays...but SO GOOD). Back to Safe and Louis -> They're not giving Pran the cold shoulder because they want to per se but because it's what's expected of them in their 'social circles'.

Omg I forgot about the rugby 'choreography'...this would have taken a while to practice.

And I've just remembered PAT GETS SHOT at the end of this ep 😂

Napat "I like it tough" Jindapat.

The way Pran is totally ok with Pat answering his door and letting Korn into his dorm. Not an eyelid batted.

The bridge shirt!

I still think we should have gotten Korn and the guy who played Kwan together 😄

Yes! Fierce Pat again!

AHHHHHH PAT GOT SHOT!!! BAHAHAHAHAHA!

OH MY GOD...@seeking-moonscapes, Wai tells Pat in the hospital, "Next time, don't butt in." Exactly the same that Pran told Pat in ep 5! Pat should have listened to Pran back then and learnt from it!

Yeah. I love this show.

[baiboop]

Sharing my Heart

Chapter 3

Adam finds himself alone in a beautiful room. Elegant wallpaper and art is meticulously placed around the confine.

The art looked to be old renaissance pieces?

Adam was no art-guy, but even he could recognize ‘The creation of Adam’ by Michelangelo. This piece has been chosen to be the largest painting in the room.

He thought about the irony in the painting chosen and his cheeks flushed slightly at the thought the angels may have picked it out special for him.

All the art work was framed with gold, made into ornate botanical patterns.

Adam paces the room for a couple minutes, taking in the expensive gaudy decorations while waiting for Zachariah.

After around (what he assumes to be) twenty minutes, he decides to sit at the table in the middle of the room.

He pulls out a chair and stops to inspect it, the chairs wood is painted gold and it has silky cushions on the seat and back of the chair- the cushions display fine detailing that looks to be hand done.

The room is nice and all but, it’s a little tacky for Adams taste.

An equally detailed table cloth sits upon the table, under its contents.

Adam lifts up the corner of the cloth to see the table underneath, it’s pure white marble. Because why wouldn’t it be?

The table is adorned with a stack of burgers and about 24 beers in a graceful, silver dish full of ice.

Adam studies them for a moment, before deciding the angels most likely would not poison him.

He reaches out for a burger and sniffs it before taking a bite. Instantly he recognizes it, it’s a burger from the diner by his house. The place where he and his mom would have lunch anytime she had a Sunday off.

Adam’s lips form a small smile. He feels bittersweet happiness from these memories.

He just really misses his mom.

He glances to the beer bottles on the table trying to place where the beers had come from.

After a moment of cerebration, he recalls the red, white and blue label of the beer.

This brand had been his first beer ever, he had it with his grandfather on a fishing trip at fourteen.

Adam decided against taking a beer. He didn’t want to be an easy target for the angels to screw over and he wanted to make sure he was fully aware, for any negotiations he might have to make with the angels to get to his mom.

Adam gladly finished his first burger, then reached out for another.

The moment the burger hit his lips, he heard wings flap and his eyes coasted to the left of him to see Zachariah sitting on the side of the table.

“I see you and your brother share the same refined palate.” Zachariah grins.

Adam takes a moment to finish chewing the large bite of burger he had in his mouth from.

“So, uh.. We ready?”

“For what?” Zachariah’s eyebrows take on a position of counterfeit worry.

“What do you mean, for what? For Micheal.”

Zachariah takes a sharp breath in, “Oh! Right. About that. Look, this is never easy but I’m afraid.. We’ve had to terminate your position at this time.”

“Excuse me?”

“Hey, don’t get me wrong, you’ve been a hell of a team player, really-“ Zachariah pauses to click his tongue and form his finger into an ‘OK’ symbol. “Good stuff. But, the thing is you’re not so much the ‘chosen one’ as you are… Well, great Winchester bait.” He says eyebrows raised, a satisfied smile on his face.

Adams previously deadpan expression turns into one of anxiety and confusion. “No. But-“

Adam takes a deep breath in to help compose himself, “What about all the stuff you said? I’m supposed to fight the devil.”

“Mmm, not so much. But hey, if it’s any consolation you do happen to be the illegitimate half brother of the guy we do care about!” Zachariah says with a derisive tone and shit eating grin that makes adam feel sick. “That not too bad is it?”

“So, you lied. About everything.” Adam says with an attitude prevalent in his tone. His straight face returning.

“We didn’t lie. We just avoided certain truths to manipulate you.”

“Oh, you son of a bitch.”

“Hey, how do you think I feel? I’m the one that’s gotta put up with that dumb, slack-jawed look on your face.”

Adam says nothing, returning Zachariah’s comment with a look of distain.

“Kid, we didn’t have a choice. The Winchesters got one blind spot, and it’s family. See Sam and Dean, they’re going to put aside their differences, and they’re gonna come get you. And that is gonna put Dean right..” He stops speaking in order to point at the ground below him, while never breaking his eye contact. “Here. Right where I need him.”

Zachariah gets up of the table throwing his hands into the air, “This is the night kid! Micheals seen it! The tumblers finally click into place, and it’s all because of you. And me. But who’s keeping score?”

Adams body tenses at the mention of Micheals name. The son of a bitch that orchestrated this. That tricked him. Resurrected him for no good reason. Only to have some balding asshole in a suit promise him his mom and life back, but none of it was even true.

He clenches his jaw, “Yeah, I’m not gonna let you do this.” He answers, standing up.

“Cool your jets. Sit down. We’re doing it together, how bout that? Plus, you still get your severance. You still get to see your mom, okay?”

“Why should I believe you?” Adam says with a dejected look on his face. He slowly sits back down and looks off to the side away from Zachariah.

“You know what? I keep hearing this.” He breaks to make a ‘talking’ motion with his hand. “But what I want to be hearing is this.” Zachariah says while closing his hand into a fist.

Adam feels a stabbing sensation in his stomach and before he can stop himself he’s coughing and gagging up blood onto the table cloth.

“That’s better.” Zachariah says nodding to himself.

——

Adam is still sitting at the table, his head down feeling sicker than he ever has in his life.

Blood slowly drips out of his mouth, the bulk of it coming out every time he coughs.

Zachariah is gone for the moment, he has been gone for about an hour or two.

Adam writhes in pain. He finally makes an attempt to get up to check for any ways out but, as soon as he’s on his feet, he’s on the ground.

Adam scoots up to a wall not wanting to attempt to stand again. Honestly, not sure if he can stand again.

He sits against the wall for another hour or maybe three, fighting the heaviness of his eye lids.

He can’t rest. He has to be ready. Ready for When Zachariah returns. He’s got to be ready to fight.

He hears the soft creak of a door, his eyes slowly sliding over to see who’s standing there. He can’t see over the table. He braces himself to stand, clutching at the wall for stability. Then he hears Deans voice.

“Adam, hey. Hey.” Dean says, worry obvious in his voice as he rushes over to adams side crouching down to the floor.

“You came for me.” Adam mutters softly.

“Yeah well, you’re family.” Dean assures, while locking his arm around Adam and guiding Adams arm around his neck. He lifts the two of them to their feet, Adam attempts to help lift but probably only lifts maybe 20 pounds of himself on his own.

“Dean, it’s a trap.”

“I figured.” Dean says starting to walk them forward and towards the exit.

Zachariah finally makes his reappearance in front of the two brothers. “Dean, please. Did you really think it would be that easy?”

“Did you?” Dean replies, cocking his head slightly.

Adam follows Deans gaze to see Sam rushing up behind Zachariah, angel blade in hand. He lifts his arm and attempts to strike Zachariah from behind.

Without any physical contact, Zach flings the angel blade out of Sams grip and throws him into a wall. Sam knocks down a few decorative stands before hitting the floor, hard.

“Sam!” Dean raises his voice, calling out to his brother for reassurance of Sam’s physical status.

“You know what I’ve learned from this experience, Dean?” Dean looks away from Sam back over to Zachariah and squeezes Adam in closer.

“Patience.” Zach finishes, putting his hand up in Adams direction.

Adam feels a sharp pain in his stomach once again. His knees completely give out and he gags on the rising blood in his throat. Dean wasn’t expecting Adams complete loss of balance and loses his grip. Adam clutches his stomach and spits the blood out on the floor.

“Adam?” He can hear Dean calling out to him.

“You let him go, you son of a bitch.” Dean commands.

The angel scoffs in return. “I mean, I thought I was downsized for sure, and for us, a firing- pretty damn literal. But I should have trusted the boss man. It’s all playing out like he said. You, me, your hemorrhaging brothers.” Zachariah clasps his hand tighter, intensifying the pain for Sam and Adam.

Dean looks frantically between his two brothers and then over to Zachariah who picks his speech back up.

“You’re finally ready, right? You see things our way. You know there’s no other choice. There’s never been a choice.”

“Stop it. Stop it right now!” Dean says, Adam can see tears glossing his eyes when Dean looks at his pained brothers.

“In exchange for what?”

“Damn it, Zachariah. Stop it, please.” Dean pauses, clenching and un-clenching his fists. Then looking forward at Zachariah Dean decides what to say. “I’ll do it.”

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

Dean meets Sam’s eyes before he speaks. “Okay, yes. The answer is yes.”

“Dean!” Sam calls from his corner of the floor.

Dean ignores him and keeps his eyes on Zach, his voice breaking while he speaks, “Do you hear me? Call Micheal down, you bastard.”

“How do I know you’re not lying.” Zachariah replies while scanning the room.

“Do I look like I’m lying?”

The two exchange a wordless stare for a couple seconds, before Zachariah starts speaking in a language Adam can’t recognize or understand.

Deans eyes shift over over to Sam who he gives a soulful look.

Maybe that look is Deans apology, Adam thinks.

“He’s coming.” Zachariah whispers.

The room is slightly shaking and a faint ringing can be heard.

“Of course, I have a few conditions.” Dean says.

Zachariah turns to face him. “What?”

“A few people whose safety you have to guarantee, before I say yes.”

“Sure, fine. Make a list.”

“But most of all… Micheal can’t have me, until he disintegrates you.”

“What did you say?”

“I said. Before Micheal gets one piece of this sweet ass, he has to turn you into a piece charcoal.”

Zachariah let’s out a short high pitched laugh. “You really think Micheals gonna go for that?”

“Who’s more important to him now? You? Or me?”

Zachariah approaches Dean, aggressively grabbing hold of his jacket. “You listen to me. You are nothing but a maggot. You are scum on this earth. Do you know who I am? After I deliver you to Micheal-“

Their faces are inches from each other and Adam, even from ten feet away, can feel the malice and power Zachariah has saturated the air with.

“Expendable.” Dean says through clenched teeth.

Zach chuckles again. “Micheal’s not gonna kill me.”

“Maybe not.” Dean validates. A blade sliding down from his sleeve into his hand.

“But I am.”

In a swift move Dean has the blade through the bottom of Zachariah’s jaw.

White hot light fills the room and Adam is blinded. He hears Dean hit the floor, and a loud sound, like somethings combusting, before Zachariah’s body follows suit- hitting the floor.

The light is extinguished, and Adam re-opens his eyes. His vision is spotty and eyes are still adjusting to the dimer lighting of the room.

He sees Zachariah’s body, large wings burnt into the ground and wall of the room around him. Adam mouths a soft ‘What the fuck..’ before returning his attention to the scene around him.

The ringing increases in volume every couple seconds and the room is shaking with more force now. He looks to his side to catch Deans gaze with a pleading expression. Dean stands up using the ground to help him and comes to Adams side. He already has a hand on Adams arm ushering him upwards before he asks, “Can you walk?”

“Yeah.” Adam replies using Deans arm to help him to his feet.

The room is re-lighting with a different celestial glow now.

Adam stands up staring at the ceilings brilliant light, while Dean helps Sam up. The plangent ringings volume increases once more. He swears he can hear a voice in the ringing, a whisper, something calling to him.

He can feel Micheal.

He can feel his essence filling the room, it’s strong and serene.

Adam closes his eyes for a moment, soaking in the feeling of tranquility that surrounds him. When he re-opens his eyes and snaps out of it, Dean and Sam are already half way to the door before he starts moving.

“Come on! Hurry!” He hears Deans frantic yell.

Adam moves as quickly as he can to the door, he’s right behind Sam and Dean as they step out. However the second their feet leave the door-way the door is slammed shut.

“No!” Adam yells, anxiety thick in his tone, his previous peaceful feeling shattered.

“Dean! Help!”

“Dean! Help, please!”

“Hold on! I’ll get you out!” He hears Deans muffled voice behind the door.

“Just hold on! Adam!”

Deans voice fades into nothing as the surge of essence and light consumes him wholly.

Adam is not scared.

He is okay.

He feels calm and protected as he looks on into the sea of luminescence.

Immediately upon the archangels descent Adam’s previous ailments had healed and cleared. He felt better than normal. He felt really good.

He could hear Micheals voice. His true voice.

It’s commanding and gives solace to Adams nerves.

“Adam Milligan.” The voice says. Adam clutches at his ears, it’s very loud.

“Adam Milligan.” The voice repeats. “I am The archangel Michael. You are to be my sword.”

Adam pauses holding his breath and looking to the side. “I know who you are and I’m not Dean y’know.” He almost delivers with an attitude but switched to speaking as politely as humanly possible.

“Yes, of that I am well aware. You need not remind me.”

“Oh.. Well I’m sorry, it uh.. It didn’t work out with Dean.” Adam says trembling slightly, not sure what the wrath of a displeased archangel would be like. (And not wanting to find out.)

“Be not afraid.” Micheal commands, sensing the humans trembling and fear. “I will not hurt you, Adam Milligan. You will be my sword, in Deans stead.”

Adam pauses, taking a step back into the wall. “No. I won’t. You… You guys are liars and-“

“I have never lied to you, Adam Milligan. I will never lie to you. Dean has punished Zachariah completely for his sins. I can promise you, not another lie shall ever pass your ears.”

Adam says nothing to this, feeling unsure of how to address someone like Micheal.

“I can protect you, Adam Milligan. I will keep you safe. After you have fulfilled your purpose I will deliver your mother unto you. If I am allowed in, I can promise you a life of happiness to come after the swift consummation of your duties.”

Adam felt Micheal’s celestial warmth seeping through the words he spoke. The essence subdued any of Adams negative emotions.

He felt light and almost intoxicated by the commanding force that was the Viceroy of heaven. Adam blinked his eyes, hard, trying to internally fight himself off of the path he was leaning towards.

‘I cant do this, I shouldn’t do this.’ Adam repeated to himself mentally.

His right hand tugged at the left sleeve on his jacket.

‘I should do this. Someone has to stop the devil. Right? Someone has to be with Micheal‘ He thought countering his own argument.

“Adam Milligan. Please speak your choice to me. I need your consent.”

Fuck. He believed Micheal. Micheal will protect him. He will see his mom.

His emotions felt numbed. The air around Adam was contaminated with the archangels power. Adam felt willing and pliable. His brain felt like static. He’s surrounded by the most magnificent heat. And finally without a second thought he’s decided.

“Yes.”

[quintupleaaaaabattery]

I’m mad at the live action HTTYD. I know it’s simple don’t watch it. That’s probably what y’all gonna say. But this is for many reasons

1. CGI - I don’t see them not butchering this. It’s like you are starting from scratch making dragons try to look realistic and yet diverse. Like there are so many different types of dragons, ranging from terrifying to cute (or in Toothless’s case both). Also the RED DEATH that’s gotta be major scary so it looking really bad CGI takes away the scare factor. It has a very high probability of taking away from the film if the CGI is bad, and also lessens the impact of how we see the dragons.

2. Now onto the casting. (Just making a note, in no way am I doubting the acting talent of those cast, I know that they will kill it.)

First off I couldn’t give a fuck, about Nico Parker playing Astrid.

Oh that takes away blonde Scandinavian representation, it’s historically inaccurate. The whole plot is Vikings riding dragons. It’s not supposed to be historically accurate it is a fantasy world.

Also what Scandinavian representation. The vikings characters either have Scottish accents, whilst all the young dragon riders have American accents. Yes I know Vikings were in America, but they still wouldn’t have an American accent or speaking English. Scandinavian characters does not equal Scottish. They are two different cultures.

The Vikings are also not represented right in the first place, ie it’s a loose representation. They didn’t have the horns on the Helmets, the names are wrong. Astrid’s last name would be Hofferdottir (daughter of Hoffer), for example and Hiccups would be Stoickson (Son of Stoick). There is a paternal naming system with a clear divide on the gender binary (I hope that makes sense, I’m no expert when it comes to Viking naming and I don’t know how to explain it with the correct terms.

Additionally they even present the God’s wrong. If you are actively apart of the fandom re. watched all the content in the franchise not just the movies (no I’m not counting nine realms or rescue riders rest assured), season 1 episode 8, Portrait of Hiccup as a Buff Man, of ROB, mentions Freya as the goddess of fire. In Norse mythology she’s not the goddess of fire, that’s Logi (well he’s the god, and no I don’t mean Loki, I had to do I quick google search as my mythology knowledge is somewhat limited to the Riordan books). Freya is the goddess of love and beauty, and that kind of stuff.

I also have to add if this were era appropriate, and culturally accurate Astrid and Ruffnut and Heather, they wouldn’t be part of the action. Don’t get me wrong Viking women were some feminist queens who lived in a society that was more progressive. They were allowed to divorce their husbands, for mistreating them may it be that they were abusing them. However they still were not expected to fight, their lives and chores were still housebound. If this franchise cared about the ‘culture’ or the ‘historical accuracy’ we would not see these three queens grace our screens being badass and menaces to their adversaries in battle.

Instead it gives POC representation. (And no I am not a POC myself, I’m White so I can’t speak for the experiences of a POC woman because I don’t face the same type discrimination, feel free to add your input if you are POC.) Astrid being a love interest, and a character who is seen as others as a symbol of beauty. So it’s not Eurocentric beauty (blonde hair, blue eyes), but that makes it more impactful. Astrid is this three dimensional warrior goddess who is determined and strong and her being blonde never drove the plot or her character’s actions. Her biggest insecurity is that people view her as less tough because she is pretty not because she is blonde.

Quote, “Just because she's beautiful, people think she's not tough. But you should never underestimate me.”

It doesn’t matter she’s not blonde because she is still beautiful. This allows POC girls to be better represented (I do know that she is still light skinned).

I do think she is a bit too old for the role. Like she’s 18, you haven’t started filming and she just looks older, I mean 21 she doesn’t look 15. So I’m a bit iffy on that, but otherwise let’s get to why I am really boycotting this movie.

I don’t see anyone complaining about the casting of Hiccup, it’s all Astrid. Yet the casting of Mason Thames as Hiccup is problematic.

The main reason as to why I wasn’t looking forward to a live-action adaptation was that I knew that they would butcher it to be an ableist mess. Why isn’t anyone talking about how this movie is taking away disabled - amputee representation. Hiccup, a amputee, is being played by a abled bodied actor.

Now I’m disabled. I’m not physically disabled like Hiccup, so my experiences, limitations and how I am discriminated against are different as I am Autistic (also have ADHD to be mentioned). Let’s be honest though that boy definitely is AuDHD, but that’s not the point. So hopefully you can see why I am upset. (Feel free to add your input if you are physically disabled/an amputee)

By doing this they are taking away one of the only protagonist who is an amputee- and don’t say what about Luke Skywalker - because his disability was magically replaced with a lifelike copy, as if he never lost a hand in the first place, which is problematic in its own right.

Hiccup Haddock clearly is an amputee and is permanently affected by it, their is no cure, but this doesn’t make him any less of a person and whilst he does have limitations, he can still live out a happy fulfilling life. This is a defining aspect of his character and is essential to the plot and moving the story forward.

Now I know your counter argument, but Hiccup only lost his leg at the end of the movie. I know they can CGI it off for that little bit of time and find a way to show a prosthetic leg, but it is still takes away representation. You’re claiming you want these characters to be portrayed accurately but you don’t care if disabled representation is being taken away.

It isn’t authentic representation when a person who doesn’t live as an amputee to play an amputee. They don’t share those experiences. Thus this casting is ableism at it’s finest.

I know Hiccup is a abled bodied for most of the film so that’s why you think it would be more practical for an abled bodied actor, but when they make the sequel what are they gonna do for that? Hiccup is disabled for the rest of the franchise, so it’s counterintuitive in away. They might as well have casted an amputee actor from the beginning.

You might argue that how would they do that as Hiccup loosing is foot is less impactful if he is an amputee from the beginning of the film but have you considered that they just put a boot over it/ cover with clothing. I’m not to sure with the mechanisms but I’m sure they could have figured something out.

And if you are going to argue that it would harder to do and film action/practical scenes, whilst it might be harder (I’m not denying that and might being the key word) but friendly reminder about a certain character who is an amputee from the MCU being Echo (whose currently in line of getting her own series).

I’m honestly wondering why they are doing this in live action in the first point, and I am disappointed in not only the casting but the reactions to the casting, mostly how people aren’t even acknowledging the ableism of the casting and focusing on slamming the casting that was more inclusive and forward thinking. But no, clearly people are to focused on race, (being that all characters in the Viking times have to be white, the least oppressed group and the most represented, which I do include myself as I am aware of the privileges I get because of it) instead of focusing on the erasure of amputee representation.

So that’s it sorry for the long rant/post.

[ohimesama]

2.10.23 Friday

6:53 am Punch-In! But 7:13 am now...

First routine on going... Good Morning Angels...

I was with Kuya Oliver...

7:23 am

This house of Mommy Adnil R-None is full of symbols...I wonder why... Now, today this am.... Hmmm..... Usually there are 2 trash cans outside the room of Mommy Adnil but today and now only 1... Very immature people here...

It is supposed to be 2 trash cans... But look, angels...

Sometimes,angels people have to talk or verbalize their message or write a note or letter...

Going to their kitchen...Immature people here...

Someone just left the 2 breads inside the oven toaster...I told Ms Enaoj, "Karma begets Karma"... But why???

7:36 am

Mommy Adnil is eating her breakfast now... I need money,Ms Enaoj knew and I appreciate being here and I do care for Mommy Adnil coz all of us we will be like her,one day... Moment to learn her case, bedridden stage 4 butt bedsore...

But as individual still hoping and praying for progress in the future... In a lil while...

My Fear:

I have fear, so many fears... One of my fears is to get old or aging without money... I wanna aged with grace and I miss going to my derma, one day again...Someday...

I wanna aged just like other old people who can hire a caregiver but hoping for more success...

I do appreciate Mommy Adnil's hardwork on her Avon thingy...

8:01 am

I know my patients, I know my boss, I know it is ohkay to be friends with your boss or employer... I value friendship and I know the truth... I know the rules of professionalism and I also know how to be flexible... But I hope everyone is matured on viewing things... I need money, I know my credibility... Let's not make a small issue big just to destroy the professionalism... Coz in reality me and Anid only got half of 3500 per day... This is not about money but of course I need money... We value friendship, we crossed-out the ot... Let's be fair on giving each other a comment.

8:59 am

Done,cleaning Mommy Adnil's room and living room, again the living room is not really my task... It is just freewill coz there are so many pussy cats here....

The other trash can is over-lapped by the other...

9:03 am

Being a caregiver is not really easy... Your emotion will go up and down like what I posted sometimes you will get mental block...

Mommy Adnil is nice but like what I posted she is like a mother hen always protecting her 5 children most specially Ms Enaoj... That without Ms Enaoj approval we can't make a decision. Sometimes she is nagging on you that you will get confuse... But she is an old person already... Giving way can't harm you as a caregiver but explain your side to her family...

Being a caregiver in a private house can give anxiety to you as a caregiver, of course, this is private house you don't know the family here except if Nightingale will make a back-up but unfortunately there is no back-up coming from that fucking Nightingale.

I'm here as a caregiver and I'm different in our house and I was different before time that I was really pampered and had yaya's or assistant... Being a caregiver is a lonely job and you need to have full and over-flowing of maturity. It can give you a heavy anxiety and complex on your personality even if you are a college graduate or even a sales lady like Anid. It can makes you crazy but you have to balance your sanity...

My personal case:

I still want a progress and still thinking of money... I have so many missed things in life. I do have a self-pity in me coz of this windblow trap cult of ManaloZ since 2007? I feel low coz of the windblow trap....I wasn't able to grow as a successful person, that gives me a self-pity...

I wanna buy starbucks everyday, I wanna see camel and donkey... Things that I wanna do... I wanna gain upper men's friends... But now, I feel that someone is caging me unfairly since 2007... I feel self-pity... Still,thinking of money.

And this how can you see me??? I LOVE THE AL-MAKTOUMS PRETTY FACES... Many more Al-Maktoums....CAN'T POST EVERYONE HERE... Pretty faces...

For the interfering women and group:

Get your own bf's... Stop getting my type... I feel bitter coz all my exes and bf's were stolen...

10:42 am

I feel confuse... I'm already menopause angels... It didn't really come out from my spotting last monday.... My future is gone...But again having a child is just an additional evidence of some couple's love... or I would wanted to gain genuine men's upper friendship with stability...

I wanna have a better life... I wanna be successful... I wanna buy starbucks everyday...

6:28 pm

Kuya Oliver will fetch me tonight after my duty...