#how many unfinished creative projects do i have right now? let's count!

[cheetour]

thinking ab taking inspiration from yamujiburo's jessie/delia comics and making a set of pokemon slice of life comics but just the tale of like. brock going to medical school and learning to stop being sexist

[littlemissaddict]

Glasses - Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader (18+)

Summary: Pleading with Eddie for him to wear his glasses doesn’t work so she gets creative in her methods to persuade him. (⚠️ Smut)

Word Count: 2179

This has been sat unfinished in my drafts since we first got those picture of Joe in his glasses and I finally got around to finishing it.

It was a usual evening spent in Eddie's trailer, the two of them holed up in his room with his cassette player on low for background noise as they both work on individual projects. Eddie on his next D&D campaign and her on English homework that she really had left until last minute to do.

Eddie was propped up against the wall at the head of the bed with his notebook resting on bent knees while other various papers were laid out in front of him, while she was laid on her front beside him with her own notebook and textbook laid out in front of her. Although her work pretty much lay forgotten as she had spent most of the time with her head propped up on one hand, her elbow resting against the bed as she stared at her boyfriend.

Normally she wouldn't be distracted by him when she was trying to work, using all her will power to focus on the task at hand usually helped but not tonight, not when he looked so adorable in his new glasses. Glasses that he swore he didn't need but it turns out that he did, after one night when he'd accidently let slip to Wayne that he'd been struggling with it for longer than he cared to admit, Wayne was quick to take him for a check as he hated seeing his boy struggle.

He hadn't had the glasses long and he never wore them to school, he even tried not wearing them around her no matter how many times that she told him to wear them but tonight he seemed to cave, putting them on as soon as they had gotten back to the trailer. She tried not to make a big fuss about them, knowing how much he despised wearing them even though they helped him, and she had managed to begin with but now watching as he scrunched his nose as he frustratedly pushed them back up at the bridge from where they'd slipped, she didn't know how much longer she could take it.

Her gaze still locked on the oblivious boy beside her as he let out another frustrated sigh, running his hands through his messier than usual hair as a soft pout rested on his lips, lips that she had the urge to kiss right at that second but before she could move, Eddie turned to her as he seemed to finally sense her gaze.

"Quit it" he huffed; truth is he'd felt her stare on him for a while and was trying to avoid looking at her, he knew he looked weird in the glasses but he didn't need her gawking at him as well. "I know I look stupid, should've never put them on" he mumbled, reaching up to pull the frames from his face.

"No" she was quick to react, her voice louder than she'd expected but she really didn't want him to take them off, "leave them on please" she pleaded, pulling herself onto her knees and pushing her text books out of the way as she shuffled closer to him. Her hands, gently pulling his arms away from his face, giving him the best puppy dogs eyes, she could muster and a smile when he relented leaving them where they sat.

"I don't get it you've been practically burning holes into my skull with your eyes but you want me to leave them on, why?" he asked, his words slow as if he was trying to work out what reasoning she could have.

"Because I love you" she tried, forcing a smile but she could already tell that Eddie didn't believe it. Her smile relaxed becoming smaller but more genuine as she sighed at him, "I know you don't like them and I was trying not to make a big deal out of it but you just look so damn cute that I couldn't help it" she says sheepishly, dropping her gaze to her lap as she knelt in front of him.

Now slightly amused by her actions than frustrated, he couldn't help the chuckle that left his lips, "So you're telling me sweetheart that these do it for you" he asks with raised eyebrows as a hand reaches out to lift her chin so that she was looking at him again. He still wasn't quite sure he believed her but the haziness in her eyes when they met again told him that she wasn't lying.

Instead of answering him, she moved her body until she had situated herself in his lap as a hand slid up to the back of his neck to pull him into her. All previous shyness she'd had when he called her out had disappeared as she crashed her lips to his. Her sudden movements caught him off guard for a minute but he was soon reciprocating the kiss as his hands came to rest on her waist.

"Eddie, my love if I tell you how much I adore you in them will you wear them more" she asked, pulling back from the kiss and locking eyes with him yet again, trying to avoid laughing at the way his eyes flickered back down to her lips the moment she pulled away. When he shook his head, she knew she needed to try a different method of persuasion, leaning in again as though she was going to kiss his lips only to let her lips meet the skin of his cheek then his jaw and right to his ear where her lips brushed softly against the shell of it, "baby please" she practically purred into his ear, making his whole body shiver beneath her at her words.

It wasn't often she had Eddie like this, normally he would be the one to take charge, to make her a whimpering mess but she was going to use this hold she had over him to get him to agree with her request, knowing it was for his benefit as well. Bringing her hands up to run across his chest while her lips worked against his neck, she couldn't help but leave a few marks knowing how much he loved them, never bothering to cover them up in the days that followed as he preferred to think of them as a 'fuck you she's mine' to anyone who dare look her way.

Satisfied with her work against his neck, she moved her mouth down kissing any skin that her lips came in contact with as she enjoyed the way Eddie shivered and moaned under her touch. She shuffled backwards on his lap as she moved down, adjusting her body so that one of her knees came to rest between his legs as her hands reached the top of his waistband but her eyes drifted lower seeing the bulge that had begun to form in the crotch area of his jeans. Looking up to find Eddie already looking down at her, his face flushed and glasses slipping as he nodded his head eagerly for her to proceed.

With his consent, her hands nimbly began to open his jeans, popping the button with ease before she slid down the zip of his fly. Eddie keenly lifted his hips to help her out and once his jeans and underwear were down and out of the way she thanked him by pressing a kiss to the sensitive, leaking head of his cock. The tiny touch seemed to be too much for him and had him bucking his hips up into her hands, longing for more of the pleasure that she could bring him.

“Now baby I’m going to help you out I promise but you gotta wear the glasses more” she hummed, her breath hot against him as she spoke. Once glance up at him she could see any resolve he had beginning to break even as he shook his head in response, “No? We’ll see” she smiled, her tongue sliding out to wet her lips before she dropped her attention back down between his legs.

Slowly wrapping her lips around the head, she hollowed her cheeks as she heard him groan above her, his hand coming to the back of her head and urging her to take more of him. Never one to deny him she did as he’d asked, sliding more of him into his mouth then pulling back up to sneak a glance at him, the sight of him before her with his head thrown back and mouth open while the hand that wasn’t tangled in her hair gripped the sheets beneath them had her becoming more aware of the wetness that was beginning to form between her own legs.

Without thinking she begins grinding down on his leg as she bobs her head on him, unaware that Eddie’s eyes are now glued to her and the sight has only pushed him closer to coming. “Sweetheart, I’m gonna-” he cuts himself off with a groan but she pulls her mouth off of him before he can. “Wait no” he whines, eyes wide and pleading as he stares down at her.

“Sorry Eddie not until you promise” she pouts up at him, fake sympathy evident in her voice as he stares at her. She had to admit she felt a little guilty for denying him his orgasm but she was also unbelievably turned on at how he was letting her take control because she knew if he really wanted to he could roll her over and have his way with her. Not that that didn’t turn her on, this was just new and exciting for them both but she could tell that he was enjoying it too.

“But I don’t wanna wear them” he pouted and she shook her head at how stubborn he still was given that he was still pleading to come.

“Well then I guess you’ll just have to watch me get myself off them” she spoke gently, though the threat that she was serious was clear to him when she began to move her hips against his leg again.

“No wait I will please” he begged, his arms frantically reaching for her to stop her movements, “I promise I’ll wear my glasses more, just please make me cum” he panted, his chest rising and falling in the panic that she was going to leave him like that but before he had even finished, she pulled herself off him so that she could pull her pants and underwear off before she was crawling back up his legs to straddle his lap again.

Eddie was quick to wrap his arms around her as soon as she was within reach, burying his face in her neck as she lined his cock up and sunk down on him. “I know baby, I know” she soothed, running a gentle hand over his hair and down his back as she pressed a kiss to the top of his head, “ready?” she asked, feeling him nod against her neck.

Eddie was a moaning mess from the first bounce of her hips and it was clear that he wasn’t going to last long, not that she minded because her focus was set on making him cum and every bounce of her hips brought him closer to his release. “Come on baby, that’s it, you gonna cum for me” she encouraged, speeding up her bounces and feeling him tighten his arms around her as his hips bucked up into her. “Yeah cum in me baby” she breathed, her breaths shorter now she was beginning to tire but it was worth it when she felt his hot release filling her up as he pulled her body even tighter to him which caused her movements to come to a stop as he jerked against her.

They were quiet as they caught their breaths, he was still holding her tight as she ran her hands up and down his back and over his shoulders and down his arms. “Eddie, Eds you good?” she asked softly, pulling his face from her neck so she could see his face as she talked to him. The first thing she noticed was the smile on his face and the second was his bright eyes shining behind his slightly askew glasses, straightening them up she smiled back at him.

“I love you” he hummed happily, leaning in to kiss her lips sweetly as if he’d forgotten that his cock was still inside of her. It wasn’t until she tried to move off him that he seemed to remember, “Wait sweetheart you didn’t cum” he frowned, hands coming to rest on her hips to stop her movements.

“It’s okay Eddie, at least I got you to agree to wear your glasses” she smiled devilishly at him.

“Oh is that so, I guess I’d better reward you then” he said with a raise of his eyebrows as he chuckled, beginning to guide her backwards to lay on the forgotten sheets of paper, where he made her see stars with his fingers and mouth.

[brucenorris007]

"Sonic 06: gameplay is shit, story is shit."

Okay, I somewhat disagree but don't see the need to expend energy toward-

*comparison between 06 and Forces is drawn*

My brain: heyguesswhatyou'rehyperfocusednow

I was going to do things today. . . but here we are.

Okay, up top and up front: 06 and Forces are both flawed, yes.

But they are flawed in fundamentally different ways, and Forces flaws are, quite frankly, far more glaring and demeritorious for a franchise like Sonic than 06. Anyone who, years from now, goes on to claim that "Uh, actually, Forces was peak." the way that some people are saying about 06 now will be just as, if not more, wrong. And I'll attribute such claims to declining media literacy.

BEFORE the youngsters in the fandom start throwing things at me, note that I said just as wrong. 06 wasn't ever as good as some of the mainline games prior or even spinoff titles after.

The difference is, most of 06's issues stem from the fact that it reads as pitiably unfinished.

The problems with Forces begin and end with the fact that it reads like self-insert fan fiction that had either zero beta readers or too many beta readers that were all given editing privileges. There's definitely a place in the world for that sort of creativity, but said place is not within a licensed game that people have to pay for; one that drastically affects the canon of the franchise and how the fans old and new perceive it and the characters within.

All right? Okay, let's get into details.

Let's address gameplay first, since I have less to say about that.

On this count, if nothing else, Forces barely edges out by being functional; granted, that's the end of it. I wouldn't go back to play it again, and the 'highlights' I can recall mostly felt like reskins of stages in the style of Colors but shortened, with boss fights reminiscent of daytime Unleashed. I imagine the primary draw for people is watching their customized 'sona jump and fly around whilst listening to dialogue from the main cast.

And this isn't really a substantive point, but the fact that receiving stuff like outfits like loot crates at the end of virtually every stage feels kind of manipulative and annoys me. If there's unlockable features, put some actual challenge between the player and the prize, like how you perform within the stage. Otherwise it's just another example of "shiny, novelty, tickle brain often, get player to play longer."

Setting that brief tangent aside since that's just a trend in games in general and not Sonic specific, moving on to 06's gameplay. And uh, yeah. The USP was, like the adventure games, supposed to be that you got three interconnected stories and three main characters each with unique play styles.

I suppose 06 showed us before anything else that Shadow really isn't as fast as Sonic, and as an idea, Silver's psychokinesis was cool. If the tracking in the Speed Up stages and the hit boxes in a handful of other areas had been ironed out, there's foundation for a fairly solid experience. Project 06 is basically proof that the base of the game had potential that wasn't realized, whether due to time constraints or other reasons.

As far as environs, the concept for Kingdom Valley showed off the most soul, I'd say, with Silver's future coming in close second. Character design for the Iblis fragments (not sure if that's the official name but I'm doing stream-of-consciousness here) and Mephiles I actually like a lot. I don't think there's anything objectively wrong with them and however you rate them will come down to preference.

Also, the model for Sonic is like. . . ridiculously good. He just looks like an older teenager; it fits with the widely accepted idea that he was 15 as of Adventure 2. Polish it a bit and that's just how he appears in my head when I write about him.

That said, there are only about six different environs that serve as stages, discounting the hub areas, and compared to Heroes' twelve stages, it just adds to that incomplete/rushed feeling.

That's about all I can say on the gameplay aspect. Functional yet non-stimulating technically wins out over some creativity yet patchy. They are games, after all.

Now then, the "story is shit" business.

Look, if you're going to criticize Sonic's story—which, yeah, his should be subjected to more scrutiny, being the titular character—then much of what you can say against it also applies to the first Adventure. Eggman wants to collect a thing (emeralds/Princess), Sonic wants him to not collect the thing (emeralds/Princess) because he's obviously planning to do evil stuff with the thing, Sonic manages to get the thing only for Eggman to snatch it out of his hands.

Multiple times.

Meaning Sonic spends most of the games on fetch quests that Eggman keeps one-upping him on until the penultimate fight.

And those are the beats. Of both stories. (For Sonic.)

And then at the end of both games, a monster you've fought in various forms (Chaos/Iblis) reappears to threaten the world on a scale that requires the seven chaos emeralds to combat.

Super Sonic. Rad soundtrack. Credits.

Granted, much like how Gamma's story was the strongest in Adventure, the quality of the three main story lines in 06 also vary in strength, with Shadow's taking first place.

My point is, in a franchise that is about characters, you don't grade every aspect of the story on the same scale. You weigh the grade of various aspects differently; and the point that gets graded most heavily is:

Character moments; which can encapsulate literal moments, arcs, development etc.

And for all its flaws, 06 has character moments, almost immediately, even. Sonic's first spoken line is "My, that's a pretty snazzy performance there!"

Which, after the tension of Eggman interrupting the festival and threatening Elise, cuts through the moment right away and, paired with the next several seconds, shows who Sonic is. He sees Eggman's robots aiming and waits until the last second to jump before going to town bashing up bots. Even as he carts Elise off amidst homing missiles and explosions, he's grinning the whole time.

Sonic does what he does because it's fun.

And his third spoken line, answering Elise's question of why he's helping, is: "No special reason."

Again, that's Sonic. Doesn't matter who it is, he helps people because he Does what's Cool. And as well as being fun, fighting off Eggman and his bots is Cool.

06, as Silver's introduction to the series, also does a decent job establishing his character of Temporal Bulldozer. He can be aimed, but his solution to problems first and foremost is usually smashing, and it's really tricky to change his mind once he's focused. He suffers from myopia arguably as bad or worse than Metal Sonic. Amy's the only one who momentarily gets him to pause and wonder if really does want to kill Sonic.

Which is a character moment for her. As in Adventure 2, Amy will happily break laws and go against who and whatever to help her friends; and as she did with Shadow, she's rather skilled at getting very hurt people to listen.

She's not unlike Silver in her willingness to do whatever it takes, really; since Temporal Bulldozer can and does traverse time on several occasions to make things right. And up until the last moment, it never occurs to him that anyone but he should bear the burden of saving the world. Blaze has to physically shove him aside so she can absorb Iblis herself.

Silver sees himself as a Hero with a responsibility toward the future just as much Sonic sees himself as just Some Guy.

Finally, Shadow. And man, there's a reason a lot of people say 06 was the last time a game featured Shadow written correctly.

It's me. I'm one of a lot of people.

Team Dark in general gets a fair bit of spotlight in 06. Rouge, an anti-heroine with perhaps the greatest self-interest after Eggman, promises Shadow that she'd stand with him even if the very world turned against him. Omega, who loathes taking orders and prioritizes his own freedom nearly as much as Sonic, takes on Rouge's assignment for him without question or complaint to wait out 200 years to help rescue Shadow.

And Shadow, in an in-game line during his first fight with Mephiles, reaffirms all the progress he made in his titular game that was wholly about discovering his identity: "Don't bother trying to deceive me. I know who I am!"

And, in contrast to the Shadow the franchise first introduced us to, the Shadow of Adventure 2 who was thoroughly convinced that his only remaining worth was his ability to keep his promise to Maria, the Shadow who was so resigned that he chose to plummet through the planet's atmosphere to his presumed death. . .

That Shadow is faced squarely with his fate of persecution, asked why he would bother fighting to protect. That Shadow declares that it the world turns on him, "I will fight as I always have."

He's grown such that he's now willing to fight against fate.

And that's pretty fucking cool.

On the other side, applying the same grading method to Forces, we find what I call (as of just now) character fauxments.

Remember how I talked about 06's introduction for Sonic? How he cuts through tensions, finds joy and fun in fighting bullies and bad guys?

The thing about that, which Forces doesn't seem to understand, is that if you lean too hard on the wisecracks and nonchalance, you end up with a character who reads as either obnoxious or totally tone-deaf. Sonic knows when to take things seriously, yet in Forces he's purportedly been tortured as well as locked up for half a year, Infinite's destroyed countless homes and killed who knows how many people, and yet when Sonic interrupts his fight with Silver. . .

I mean, if Sonic was written correct, you'd cut out a bunch of faff and change his line delivery. Show that he's frustrated by his time confined and absolutely raring to throw hands and get to business; because Sonic does understand when things have gotten real, and while rare, he does get angry. Something like:

"Since you like talking so much, mind sharing the source of your power? I can ask the easy way or the hard way. I've been cooped up a long time, so I'm hoping you pick the hard way."

It doesn't need to be the most original lines in the world, but Sonic's banter in the middle of a war shouldn't be long-winded, no matter how pretentious his opponent is (and damn, is Infinite pretentious. Like to the point that it's the most memorable part of the game.) If there's banter, it should be punchy and succinct; quick, like he is.

Instead, Forces Sonic's attitude is just kind of. . . incongruous with the stakes the game claims to have established. But then, since we don't get a truly convincing scene showing the rest of the cast being sad that he reportedly died, that's not too surprising.

Speaking of setting up stakes, here's an idea. Rather than cutting from Sonic laying battered in the middle of the city for a lazy six-month time skip established by text on the screen, make it clear that "Oh shit, things are different" via gameplay.

After Sonic falls, immediately transition into a level. Where you run from right to left to escape Eggman's fleet. Turns everything on its head, you can witness and navigate the destruction as it's happening and if you string together enough environs, you can even have the city burning in the distance or the skyline as you near the end of the stage and escape to relative safety.

Anyway.

And of course, the notorious character fauxment: Tails cowering in front of an offline Omega.

There's nothing I can say about this fauxment that hasn't been said already. It's not the first time in the series that Tails was portrayed as having regressed to a scared child, but it is the most egregious.

And. . . actually, that's about it, at least off the top of my head. Which might speak to how short the game is and how little screen time and action the main cast get aside from Sonic and the player character.

But it's enough to determine that Forces' story, or what stands in for it, is weaker than what 06 offered.

Again, I'm not here to rally a feral defense of 06 as a masterpiece, but its flaws are not on the level of Forces. The reason they're lumped together is the amount of disdain both games got on their release; though in the case of 06, the 2000's were just a weird time when hating things was somehow cooler than liking them, and since 06 wasn't up to par with Adventure 2 or Heroes, people picked an aspect of the game-most often how much the almost final fantasy style model for Elise didn't match up with the Mobian models (and yes, the final cutscene, but there's nothing new I can say about that either, and talking about it here is just an open invitation for someone to blow it out of proportion again) and dogpiled the hate on the game.

Sonic 06 feels unfinished owing to a lot of little and larger details. Knuckles' portrayal and having little to do in the story, poor optimization leading to nearly twenty second loading times, BLAZE BEING A GLOWING NEON MISSED OPPORTUNITY! (SEGA, I know I was literally twelve when the game was released, but my Phoenix headcanon works so well and makes her appearance in both Rush and 06 work! A retroactive fix would be so easy and we could get more adventures in her dimension!)

Even acknowledging all that, though, there were still attempts at creativity that just, for one reason or another, didn't pan out. There's significant potential here.

Forces is just. . . a mess. In every sense. And I understand how a mess can be attractive to a fandom, because a mess means you can take whatever you want from it and organize things however you choose.

But a mess that's sold as a finished game is not the same as a rushed title with visible untapped potential.

[caltropspress]

RAPS + CRAFTS #30: blackchai

1. Introduce yourself. Past projects? Current projects?

Ayoo, I go by the name of blackchai, preferably stylized in all lowercase. I started out rapping under the name JinSol, but I think I scrubbed 98% of that shit off the internet. I’m based in Brooklyn, but I grew up a little outside NYC in Putnam County. I’ve been releasing as blackchai since either late 2019 or early 2020 - I forget exactly. I put out my first EP titled No Expectation in August 2020. My first full length titled Time & A Place came out April 2022, followed by 2 EPs A Momentary Lapse in October 2022, and SECOND WIND produced entirely by my good friend/collaborator, a haunted house, in January 2023. My most recent release as of right now is my album Year Wandering which released March 2024. My next album OTHERWISE A BLUR is set to release September 6th and that is fully produced by August Fanon, who has also been a friend of mine since before we even started making music together.

2. Where do you write? Do you have a routine time you write? Do you discipline yourself, or just let the words come when they will? Do you typically write on a daily basis?

I find it easiest to write in the comfort of my bedroom. I work best in solitude. Over the years I have usually written the majority of my stuff late at night, but lately I’ve found I have better ideas in the morning before the day has a chance to influence my mind state. 

I’m a notoriously slow writer as in I can probably count on less than two hands how many verses I’ve written in a single sitting, but lately I’ve been trying to push myself to write faster without second guessing myself or losing my attention span, and it’s been working somewhat.

I find that I kind of go back and forth with how disciplined I am in terms of writing every day, but I prefer to always be in a constant state of having “something” that I’m working on, even if I don’t make daily progress. The only time I don’t have an unfinished verse on my plate is if I’m doing an album rollout or in the mixing process or something like that. Not being in the middle of some kind of creative process gives me really bad anxiety.

3. What’s your medium—pen and paper, laptop, on your phone? Or do you compose a verse in your head and keep it there until it’s time to record?

When I started rapping it was all pen and paper, but I have horrible handwriting as well as horrible eyesight so it’s been strictly Notes app for the past few years. There are some things I’ve done in my head and wrote down later, but usually like 4-8 bars. Nothing crazy. My short term memory is unfortunately very compromised at this point in my weed smoking career.

4. Do you write in bars, or is it more disorganized than that?

I kind of write in spaced out lines depending on how connected each phrase is to the previous one. I use a lot of my own shorthand to signify pauses and things like that, but sometimes I don’t really solidify the way I’m going to rap the verse until I’m actually recording. It’s a lot easier to rap without breathing when reciting under your breath than when trying to project into a mic. When I started, I would just write in a big paragraph, but I kept losing my place. I used to be able to memorize my verses before recording. but my style has developed into a very stream-of-consciousness word soup sort of thing, so now I don’t usually have anything locked in until after it’s recorded.

5. How long into writing a verse or a song do you know it’s not working out the way you had in mind? Do you trash the material forever, or do you keep the discarded material to be reworked later?

If it doesn’t start out strong, typically I’ll scrap it and start over. Either that or if I write like half a verse then don’t come back to it until days later I can’t pick up the same energy and struggle trying to actually end the thing and it just goes on for way too long and feels redundant. I am a big believer in recycling lines for future use. Sometimes it’ll just be one phrase that I know I need to be a part of a verse. I just need the right beat or placement or whatever. But very rarely do I ever fully delete something. There's always some gold nuggets in a subpar verse.

6. Have you engaged with any other type of writing, whether presently or in the past? Fiction? Poetry? Playwriting? If so, how has that mode influenced your songwriting?

So my first girlfriend in high school was a writer. She was writing a novel when we were like fifteen. I’ve always admired people who can write in more traditional structures, but I just don’t possess that skill set. I never knew how to write essays that sounded natural in English class. I always felt like I couldn’t break away from that rigid template they give you when you’re in elementary school. That’s why I really like writing raps. I get to be a writer without having to care about the rules. As a rapper, you can fully disregard grammar, you can make words up, etc. I learned all that studying people like Ghostface Killah and Vordul Mega. But growing up I was definitely reading earlier than a lot of kids my age, and as an adult I really appreciate people like Cormac McCarthy and Tolkien and people like that. They write so descriptively it’s amazing, and I try to take some influence from that in the way I write raps.

7. How much editing do you do after initially writing a verse/song? Do you labor over verses, working on them over a long period of time, or do you start and finish a piece in a quick burst?

I don’t necessarily labor but definitely the past few years as I’ve been taking this more seriously I’ve put in extra effort to edit my lyrics. Especially because my flow is in such weird pockets sometimes, I have to be really specific about how I say some things so I don’t get lost in the beat. Anything from rearranging bars to fully rewriting some things.

8. Do you write to a beat, or do you adjust and tweak lyrics to fit a beat?

Most of the time I write to a beat. Sometimes I’ll have a few lyrics in my head that I think of while walking, taking the train, etc. Recently I’ve been writing one verse while switching between beats. It helps when I start to feel like I’m losing momentum. The beat usually tells you what it wants and sometimes my ideas clash with that, so it takes some searching to finesse the formula. Sometimes I’ll have an old verse I never did anything with and I’ll get a new beat and it just fits perfectly. But I don’t do it in the same way Talib Kweli apparently used to do. I'm not tryna rap super fast and sound crazy just to get a verse off.

9. What dictates the direction of your lyrics? Are you led by an idea or topic you have in mind beforehand? Is it stream-of-consciousness? Is what you come up with determined by the constraint of the rhymes?

I don’t typically write songs about any singular thing. Sometimes it’s a general vibe and I’ll address multiple things that kind of fit that idea even if they’re not directly related, and sometimes I’m just rapping and making references to anime and things I think are cool. I try not to let it get too jarring content-wise, but at the same time I’m a self-proclaimed student of Ghostface, so I don’t care too much if people don’t get it. I’ve definitely been told I’m very stream-of-consciousness by multiple people. I’d say in general the average blackchai song has sprinkles of Marxism, anime references, interpolations of 90s rap lyrics, and just general ruminations on the way I navigate through life and things I observe on a daily basis. And then all the blank spaces are filled with slang or just general “talking my shit” rapper guy stuff. Nothing too crazy. But I definitely do want to put in the effort in the future to write more concentrated songs. I don’t want to be a one trick pony, especially now that I’m getting more optics as an artist.

10. Do you like to experiment with different forms and rhyme schemes, or do you keep your bars free and flexible?

I go through phases. I think the thing that comes most naturally to me is flow, so that is usually the thing I like to experiment with the most. I’ve been in a very rapid fire kind of bag for a minute, which is a lot of fun. I did a lot of features just rapping super fast this past year. I also am a big fan of writing non-rhymes or ending bars with words that don’t rhyme. I know a lot of people, mostly older heads, hate that style these days along with the drumless beats and all that, but it’s where I feel I shine the most and can be the most creative. I rap mostly over loops, so there’s less constraints with the way I can actually land my rhymes and everything. But like I said before, the beat usually tells me what it needs. Lyrics are the tougher part for me.

11. What’s a verse you’re particularly proud of, one where you met the vision for what you desire to do with your lyrics?

One of the bonus tracks off Year Wandering titled “All For The Win." The album itself was largely inspired by the manga Vagabond and the themes explored in that and the song kind of encapsulates that. There’s a throughline that I repeat that goes “From preoccupied with the leaves to invincible under the sun,” which is nearly a direct quote from the manga and basically the whole theme of Musashi Miyamoto's character journey as well as my own kind of declaration of artistic growth. Where I’ve been and where I want to be. Reflecting upon being some kid writing horrible rhymes in my mom's living room to working with people I’ve been a fan of for years and having people tell me I’m their favorite rapper. I just think this is the best example of me mixing contemplative ideas right next to my usual brand of non-sequitur lyricism. Plus a really dope reference to Cannibal Ox that is just so much fun to rap on stage.

The usual intent’s not a spectacle the proof’s in the outcome I’m counting flaws to strike a healthy balance From preoccupied with the leaves to invincible under the sun Contemplating parts of myself that’s hard to face Placating the anger that’s building up from day to day Made a wish, made a plan  Sometimes it’s an aim and a miss but gained an understanding regardless My heart’s a big lender Depart with less than what I need to fill the chest up Blades drawn like a breath  Duress often but can’t halt the flesh  It’s the best of times Measure my regrets next to gratitude it’s too many hard questions Not enough in mind to concentrate Binded by fate with my brothers  Keep it in conversation Fuck a wait list I hate wasting time more than most things in my peripheral  Direct line of sight manifesting pictures from a past life Tryna simply grab it, inhabit the space I’m happy to play a part pondering til the dark divide Niggas is wildin’ I think you better find yourself - before you get ejected from the deep end My shell monumental mechanical found ghost Effortless like a cold reservoir of blood in the vessel Known unknowns  It’s the presence of ancestors weaponizing the mental Head in the sky Treasure refinement  It’s no sweat  Don’t hold me on shit I never said that’s my only lesson to give at the moment Pay attention Unsteady on the way in the present’s a testament to resolve My whole body and soul get the message Surrender control? Probably not It’s dark and Hell is hot as the block in the dead of winter Sounds like a personal problem you probably deserve it dawg Don’t make me call it off it’s all for the win You probably deserve it dawg Usual intent’s not a spectacle the proof’s in the outcome I’m counting flaws to strike a healthy balance From preoccupied with the leaves to invincible under the sun

12. Can you pick a favorite bar of yours and describe the genesis of it?

Off the song “Feed The Land” from Year Wandering:

High risk high reward Formula been tired no time to react $30 til the next check what we scrambling? Don’t take it for granted like God gave up the answers Feed The Land

I really like this one because it’s one of the more straightforward things I’ve ever written. I was literally in my kitchen making an egg scramble of random things in my fridge because I was broke and couldn’t afford to buy food until my next check. Very simple but I remember every detail and it was just a very real relatable thing. Nothing esoteric about it, just struggle turned into art.

13. Do you feel strongly one way or another about punch-ins? Will you whittle a bar down in order to account for breath control, or are you comfortable punching-in so you don’t have to sacrifice any words?

I don’t do them personally, mostly just because I usually record by myself and it’s annoying to do. But I don’t have an issue with them as a stylistic choice. There’s plenty of punch-ins on like Only Built 4 Cuba Linx, Ironman, Funcrusher Plus, etc. I like to be able to actually rap my own stuff live though. I hate the whole “live show karaoke” thing. Especially in the underground scene. Maybe I’d do them if I had a hypeman or something.

14. What non-hiphop material do you turn to for inspiration? What non-music has influenced your work recently?

I mentioned before I like to interpolate lyrics from a lot of 90s rap, but I do this tenfold with rock music. I played guitar before I started rapping and played in a few bands, so I am super pretentious about indie rock/emo/punk etc. I really don’t listen to a lot of rap when I’m writing. At least not a large variety. I’ll usually hyperfixate on one or two rap albums at a time when creating because I don’t want to be influenced too much in that way, but I’ll bump a huge variety of guitar music. 

Like when I was writing Time & A Place the only rap album I was listening to was OB4CL, but I was also listening to a ton of Jawbreaker, Cloud Nothings, Rilo Kiley, Mannequin Pussy, and this Japanese band Number Girl. And when I was writing OTHERWISE A BLUR the only rap I was listening to was like 2016-2017 Mach-Hommy, but I spent most days listening to Interpol and these random obscure indie bands with like 200 Spotify listeners. 

I’m also in the middle of reading Blood Meridian. Other than that, my main non-music inspirations/influences are just whatever shows I’m watching. I watch The Sopranos about four times a year, so that's a permanent fixture and source of reference. I just rewatched YuYu Hakusho. And then whatever communist/leftist literature I’ve read will pop up now and again. Obviously some Marxist stuff, Kwame Ture, Malcolm X, Huey Newton, etc. but I wouldn’t call myself a thoroughly read or educated person in that regard.

15. Writers are often saddled with self-doubt. Do you struggle to like your own shit, or does it all sound dope to you?

I didn’t like anything about my own music until like my last two projects, for the most part. I hated my voice. I took a long time getting comfortable on the mic. Things like that. But I feel like I’ve really started to feel and sound like the artist I’ve always wanted to be. Going back to my older stuff, now I see the merit in it, but at the time I hated almost everything I put out by the time I put it out. I really love this next album I’m about to drop though. I also made it in a significantly shorter timeframe than anything else I’ve done, so I haven’t had the chance to grow to hate it.

16. Who’s a rapper you listen to with such a distinguishable style that you need to resist the urge to imitate them?

Definitely billy woods and E L U C I D. I’m a huge fan, and they both have definitely influenced me a ton, but sometimes I stop myself from listening to Armand Hammer while I’m making stuff. Especially while making this record with August Fanon - haha. Aside from them, I’d say a lot of people in the scene in New York right now. Like people I see at shows and know personally. Like it’s one thing to subconsciously bite a rapper that you know from a distance, but when it comes to people who are closer to your level or whatever, you want to kind of maintain a sense of friendly competition. I like the idea of everyone having their own style. It’s like super powers. Spider-Man and Human Torch are homies, but they can’t do what the other does.

17. Do you have an agenda as an artist? Are there overarching concerns you want to communicate to the listener?

When I was a child I think the first thing I ever wanted for my future was to be an artist. I don’t even know why or what kind of artist I wanted to be. I just liked things like that. I also wanted to be a ninja. Presently, I just want to make a mark and be a part of rap-lore. When I started rapping, one of the more formative influences for me was The Juggaknots but I’ve never met anybody outside of hardcore rap nerds who even know who they are, but Breeze is like the best rapper ever. If I can do that for some kid 20 years from now, that’d be crazy. 

Obviously the deeper I get into this and the more things I accomplish that I never thought possible there will be more things I strive to achieve, but my initial goal was just to be a dope rapper who other rappers think is dope and just do cool shit because I can put words together in a cool and interesting way. And I kind of feel like I finally opened the door for that possibility. I can’t go to a show in New York without running into someone I know through music. I’ve even been recognized by strangers a couple times in the crowd of billy woods shows and stuff, which is really insane, and kind of weird.

There’s messages and beliefs I have that I put into my music, but I was never someone who wanted to make political music or anything like that. It’s a good gateway, but I’m not a professor. You can learn a lot more about revolutionary politics by reading books than from listening to Public Enemy, but a lot of people probably didn’t even form an interest in black leftist politics until Chuck D screamed into their ear about the Black Panthers. I suffer from really bad depression and anxiety. I wouldn’t feel comfortable counseling someone on their own mental health issues, but maybe my music might inspire someone to take action for themselves. Just having a positive tangible effect on people is really all you can hope for.

RAPS + CRAFTS is a series of questions posed to rappers about their craft and process. It is designed to give respect and credit to their engagement with the art of songwriting. The format is inspired, in part, by Rob McLennan’s 12 or 20 interview series.

Photo credit: E. Fortson

[acearcane]

Thanks for the tag! I love this, I will absolutely yap about my fics :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I've got 5 right now! But a crap ton of ideas scribbled down in the back of my mind that I need to find the motivation to work on...

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

90,695 :) But a bit longer with unfinished stuff I have written down.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

RIght now, just The Umbrella Academy and The Owl House! I'd love to explore more fandoms at some point, though. We'll see if the mood ever strikes me.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Well, the fun bit is that I only have five. So let's rank these bad boys!

1. The Quest for the Keys of Death 2. Witches in Wonderland 3. Melodies of Caged Bird 4. The Owl Fluff 5. I Don't Know Why I Bite

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do my very best to! It can be hard for me to remember to/find the energy to reply to things, whether it be comments or asks or whatever. But I seriously love and cherish any comments left on my works, and I'm mentally giving you the biggest hug. :)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooo. Well. I've technically only finished one, lol. But... Melodies of a Caged Bird will have the angstiest ending. The Quest for the Keys of Death will be the angstiest over all, but there will be a happy ending. :)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, I've only finished one (and the ending is bittersweet on that one) but The Quest for the Keys of Death will have the happiest ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a comment that was a little patronizing, disagreeing with a headcanon of mine, but it wasn't necessarily hateful. It was a bit of a bummer, though.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't. I've never written smut before, and it's not exactly my writing forte. Kudos to those who do, though!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I'm actually not a big crossover fan, which is funny considering my biggest/most popular fic is a crossover. It's not that crazy, but it's an Owl House and Percy Jackson crossover!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of; I don't think my fics are popular enough for that, haha!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but that would be cool to do at some point!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't, but that would be so fun to do at some point! Any of my Umbrella Academy or Owl House moots, feel free to hit me up if you ever wanna try co-writing a fic!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Prooobably Huntlow! It's the ship I've gotten the most into/excited about. I'm not a huge shipper, I blame my aro/ace tendencies, but I love Hunter and Willow's dynamic. :)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably Witches in Wonderland. I feel bad leaving it unfinished, but I lost all motivation and creativity for it. Besides, I've read too many fics with a similar concept now, and I'm too scared that I'll accidentally steal elements from someone else's writing.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Well, shit. I honestly don't know. I've been told I have very good descriptions and imagery, and I'd agree with that! I've also been told that I'm good at characterization, but I'm less sure on that one.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue can really screw with me. I don't know if I'm bad at it, per se, but it stresses me out the most and I have the hardest time with it. Besides that, commitment. I have a hard time sticking with my writing and finding the motivation to finish my projects.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've tried that a little bit with The Quest for the Keys of Death, and having some of Luz's exclamations in Spanish! I'm not a Spanish speaker, though, so I shy away from using too much. I need to bully my American ass into learning more languages, haha! I'd feel a bit more confident using it, then.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The Hunger Games, actually! That fic was published on Quotev and has since been deleted, but it's what got me past that initial hurdle of being scared to write fanfiction. It was an interesting concept that I should return to at some point... hmmm...

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Well, the brainrot says I Don't Know Why I Bite, but I think I'm just proud that I finished something. Other than that, The Quest for the Keys of Death. It's a huge labor of love, and once I have the motivation, I can't wait to return to it. :)

Calling on my fellow writers! @childlikegoblinqueen @unniebeans @slightecho

This is making me realize I need TUA writer mutuals... If any TUA fic writers see this, feel free to hit me up. I need someone to talk about my works with (and I'd love to listen to you talk about yours ^.^)

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @sneakyfox55! I don't normally do tag games, but this one looks really fun. (What author doesn't want the chance to ramble about their writing?) (This one is also copy/paste, so I'm less worried about clogging up people's dashes)

I'm going to put it under a cut since this is pretty long!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

As of now? 9! (But I have more than 35 fics in progress in my drafts that aren't posted.)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

129,647! But like, triple that (or more) if you want to count unposted stuff.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Undertale!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Heart on the Table

2. How to Defeat a Human in 6 Easy Steps

3. faux pas

4. How to Comfort a Panicking Child

5. How to Help a Human in 2 Easy Steps

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes!!! I love responding!!! I'm behind horribly right now because of my work's busy season, but I plan to catch back up! It's so fun to get to talk to people about the things I've poured my heart and soul into, you know? And I'm always glad to get to thank the people that took the time to leave a comment! It's a bit hard to keep up sometimes, though.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

"Is it Home Without You?" definitely. I'm still really proud of that fic, and it's part of a series with a happy ending, but the actual oneshot is the immediate aftermath of Gaster's lab accident from Sans's PoV. So, uh. Dead dad that no one but you remembers (not even your little brother) is pretty angsty. It's a step away from the norm for me, since normally I only write things with happy endings. But since this is part of a series that has a happy ending, I suppose my brain allowed me to end it off on a bittersweet (sad and angsty) note.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is really hard to say! I like big, happy endings, so most of my stuff gets them! Probably.... Hmmm. Either faux paus or How to Defeat a Human in 6 Easy Steps

8. Do you get hate on fics?

For the most part? No. (And I will always be grateful for the kind people that have picked me back up after I've been shot down in the past.)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

None you'll ever find under this username! I try to keep it family friendly here. ...Welllll, depending on if you count fics that tackle trauma and child murder in them family friendly.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't written any cross fandom crossovers! ...I have, however, been guilty of writing cross fic crossovers (none posted). I like to make my characters from different fics interact with each other. I've also done some crossovers for fun with my friends, making our characters interact. All still Undertale fandom, though! The craziest one is probably "How to Adopt an Interdimensional Traveler" which may be posted at some point. It's a crossover between Heart on the Table, and my How To: series. What, you're telling me Papyrus has TWO children to deal with now? (Here, have the first little bit of that because I love it. And I love Papyrus.)

Step One: Find out their name “FRISK!” Papyrus’s voice was not a shriek. No. He was perfectly composed as he stared down at the… little Frisk in front of him.  The very little Frisk. There was a familiar thumping behind him as… his Frisk crashed down the stairs in their familiar clumsy way. For all the elegance they displayed in battle, that did not tend to follow them home. He partially whirled around to face them, keeping… mini Frisk in his sight at the same time.  “What’s up, Dad?” Mini Frisk made a small noise that may have been confusion as they rapidly looked between him and their larger counterpart. “…Dad?” Oh.  Hm.  Yes.  That was. A thing. Apparently Papyrus had two children now. 

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know! And I sure hope not!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! That would be cool as heck, though!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

None that are posted! But I like to write with my friends, sometimes.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Surprisingly! Not Undertale! (Though I do like Alphyne!) Zukka! (Zuko x Sokka, Avatar the Last Airbender) I've loved that ship for years, and even though I'm not really in the AtLA fandom anymore, it still has a very close place in my heart.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hmmmm. Again, nothing posted. I don't post fics unless they have a first draft completely written to prevent that kind of thing. (Though, I do rewrite stuff, and that can cause pretty big posting delays. But if for some reason I can't find the motivation to finish my rewrites, I could always just slap my first draft up so that it's not completely unfinished before I'd abandon it completely.) Of my fics not posted, though? I've got a fic called "Ghost of You" which is a fated soulmate dusttale!papyrusXreader fic. I hope I can finish it one day, but... well. I'm not sure if I will or not.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Characterization, and internal dialogue, I think! I like to think I'm pretty good at writing a character in such a way that even if you pick just a sentence at random, you know who's head you're in. Or, perhaps my strength is hurt/comfort in general...

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

It used to be dialogue, though I'm working to get better at that! I also struggle sometimes when it comes to making sure that the pace is engaging and that we aren't just stuck in someone's internal thoughts for 5 paragraphs. Gotta break that up with some stuff actually happening!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Very cool, and a great way to show characters that speak other languages than the one you are in the PoV of!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Well... the fic itself is long gone, but! I wrote for Ouran Highschool Host Club when I was like 12.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE! HOW COULD YOU ASK ME TO CHOOSE BETWEEN MY CHILDREN? MY BABIES! ...Heart on the Table has a special place in my heart though.

No pressure tags (only if you want! this is just for fun!): @lizavet @timeofjuly @humankk and anyone that wants to!

Also... Shall I dare? invoke the potential wrath of a god(ess)?

I dare. I'm curious about the answers (if the goddess does deign to answer this mortal/jk) @llamagoddessofficial (please feel free to just ignore if you want!)

[wolfjackle]

I was tagged by @wanderingbandurria. I've never been tagged in anything like this before, so I'm really excited! Thanks for thinking of me.

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have wips.  I have deemed that this isn’t just for writing either. Sketch titles? Comics? Dnd campaigns? If you have an unfinished project, it counts!!

Parent Trap

Tam Lin AU

Attempt at E

Harry is Sal Time Travel

Harry's Hand

Rewrite the Stars

Rewrite the Stars is broken into several sections, so ask about a specific section if you have any questions. The ones that have anything written for them are as follows:

a. Reach the Impossible Stars

b. Aziraphale's Journey

c. Crow's Nest

d. Uriel

e. Warlock

I'll add, a few (read: two) of these have been abandoned for the foreseeable future. The others may or may not be a focus right now, but I do intend to continue and (hopefully) finish them all.

If anyone is interested, please send an ask! I'm a writer, I will happily talk about projects I'm working on.

Tagging @isalisewrites, @greensword101, @betasuppe, and @insanely-creative-things. I'm afraid I'm not certain which of my other mutuals and followers are active creators. So please respond if you are. I'd love to see what you're doing and will absolutely ask about something if you tag me!

[chiptrillino]

Hi Chip,

I wanted to let you know that I love your artwork. Everything you produce is stunning. Our world as it is makes pursuing our passions very hard. By the end of the day we are often too tired to do them. But. Our passions inspire others to chase after their own. Art in any form is self-nourishing, not only for the artist, but for art itself. I never would have started writing "1000 Ballads Between Summer and Fall" if not for you.

Many beautiful things exist because creating is an act of love, and love always pays in dividends. Love inspires. It creates. It rebels. And sometimes, you don't have to finish. Unfinished works are still works that are worthy. Think of how many shattered statues we look upon in awe. Or how many half-drawn sketches live in golden frames. Or how many stories are half-written, abandoned, but are still so moving. Now, pretend we are in the middle of the desert. You do not have to finish. You only need to feel joy in what you do.

I would be thrilled to see any incomplete drawing of yours. Imagine what any of those drawings could inspire in me or others? Perhaps we might finish that drawing as a sculpture, a poem, a meal, a story. You might never see these creations, but you caused that ripple. It is capitalism that demands completion and perfection, because only finished projects sell. But we are not on this earth to sell things. We are here to live life to the fullest.

If only the wealthy have the privilege of creating things, by virtue of being able to afford time, then we will only ever see the same things over and over again. And you, Chip, are very talented. Don't let the soulless machine of survival take away your gifts.

hello!

first of all, thank you. I can't truly express how good it felt to read this. and I know you wrote this for me but I hope anyone else that gets to read this ask can find some calm, a breath of fresh air or comfort in this constant tormenting rush surrounding us. time is something that is never enough. even though it's endless. it sifts through our fingers, and we get too distracted counting it instead of experiencing it. so thank you. for reminding me of all the beauty and creativity there is in life. created by accident or with intent. It's truly miraculous how a thought, a dream or a gesture can grow into something bigger connecting with others and living shared between us. and I am glad that I can share my works and create an impact. even if I am absent for some time a few people during this time will find my creation in this big world and hopefully feel some joy, in seeing it. and this is truly a big value I can call myself lucky to experience.

and you are right. there is no shame for any of us to post just a sketch, a wip or just an idea. It's the first step and it can be more.

I am amazed how my silly dream could inspire "1000 Ballads Between Summer and Fall". i love it! caught up to the last chapter yesterday. and I am sorry I am slow in commenting. but experiencing, influencing and connecting another indeed. you can describe and tell the life of a character so well. and you have a beautiful view to look at our world.

thank you, for sharing

[saras-almanac]

creator tag meme

The lovely @softlass27 tagged me to do this and I am literally only seeing this now, on January 3rd. But what is time anymore? Right? And she’s also the reason her ask about my fic “letting go” has popped back up. Was that really only in September that I answered that? Seriously, what is time? 

Also... yeah I didn’t really write a lot this year. I usually write a fair amount, especially with my own original stuff too, but I just didn’t have it in me this year. My biggest problem (if you consider it a problem) is I love angst and character studies and really digging in to characters and allowing them room to speak their truth or really explore something that canon leaves unexplored. If you will. And in this year of the pandemic and staying at home and all the constant anxiety around that, I just didn’t have the emotional endurance to write a lot of the things I wanted to write. So... just know that I didn’t write a lot this year. 

1. finding one’s footing 

Summary: Two years after Robert is sentenced to prison, he comes home to Emmerdale. Unfortunately it's not that simple as Robert struggles with the anxiety and stress of leaving prison, his mind reverting him back to his post-shooting days, and Chas trying to run him from the village. She's understandably upset at how much Robert hurt Aaron, but Aaron's more closed off than Robert has seen him in years. Robert's desperate to find a way to mend things with Aaron, if only to be friends, but he's not sure he'll be able to with Aaron's strange attitudes towards him, Chas angrily coming at Robert for so much as breathing, and his own struggles.

Reunion 3.0 - Very Robert-centric as he works to rebuild himself and the relationships he "ruined" years ago. Will eventually lead to Aaron/Robert reunion.

I literally cannot believe that this was started at the beginning of the year. And I also can’t believe that I haven’t written anything for it in months. Oops. I still really love this fic idea and really being able to dive into Robert’s frame of mind after being released from prison and really trying to readjust to life again and also just sort of facing the things he tried to avoid in prison. I just love all fics where Robert gets to really voice what he wants or needs and / or fics where Aaron fights for Robert. Plus I cannot wait to write the scene were Robert basically yells at Chas and Paddy for treating Aaron like absolute shit after he was arrested. 

2.  waiting 

Summary:  It’s been two years and Aaron’s still waiting. Literally ever since he found out Robert had been released and on his way to Emmerdale. Reunion 3.0 that is really sappy…

I honestly forgot I even wrote this! (What is this year?) And I just realized that I never cross posted it to ao3 so I’m gonna have to do that this week. But I just really love reunion fics or fics where they’re just happy together. I know that seems contradictory to what I wrote above, but it’s true? And I mean, this isn’t entirely all fluff there’s definitely some emotional angst here because it wouldn’t be my fic if there wasn’t. 

****

And so we come to the end of what I actually wrote this year. Like I said... it wasn’t a lot and that’s totally cool. You gotta just live and let live, you know? But I figured I’d add a few projects / things I’m working on and want to work on for 2021. To sort of even it out in a sense.

1. finding one’s footing

Yeah. This is definitely on the list of things I want to work on this year. I really hate having unfinished works out there and usually don’t start posting a fic until it’s written or almost entirely written just in case things happen in my life and I just can’t get to writing on it. But I was really excited about this fic and wanted to post it as I went. And then the pandemic hit and all my creativity and writing drive disappeared. I do hope to continue it and make progress on it / finish it this year. 

2. letting go  sequel (commentary ask on the sequel)

It’s not secret that people have been wanting a sequel to this fic since basically the second I posted it. And to be totally honest here, I was a bit worried to write it back then because I knew it was going to be not as pro-Liv as I thought people wanted. I didn’t want to bash her or Aaron at all, but I was afraid that people would be really upset at me for daring to question Aaron or make him actually confront the fact that his sister got his boyfriend arrested and Aaron literally seemed to not understand why Robert was upset. And I was really new to writing in the fandom so I didn’t want to cause any disturbances. But now it’s been a few years and I no longer am that concerned about it. People who want to read it will, and those who don’t won’t. And if I get some drama and hate for it, well that’ll be exciting wouldn’t it? My last hateful anon was about Supernatural which was WILD. 

3. 2017 rewrite where Robert finds out he’s got a secret kid after Aaron goes to prison. 

So I’ve written a few snippets of this verse and just really love the idea of dad!Robert and thought that he was the perfect character to have a random kid turn up and turn everything upside down. So I wanted to write one and while there’s so many times that this will upset everything... I figured when Robert was frayed at the seams and Aaron’s in prison and Liv’s acting up was the perfect time for this kid (who’s Noah but not Charity’s kid cause I didn’t want to make up a new kid... *shrug*) to turn up. This is going to have a much healthier relationship between Liv and Robert because as much as she annoys me now, they had such potential in this storyline to actually build Robert and Liv up to being something of a father/daughter unit since they never were going to go there with Aaron. And the drama / tension for Aaron when he is released and for him to see that relationship and the relationship that Robert now has with this kid who Aaron doesn’t know... it’s my favorite kind of tension. 

4. Pub Share AU 

So it’s not really written in any real way, but the general idea is that Robert does end up buying Diane’s half of the pub in 2015-2016. This leads to Aaron and Robert sort of becoming friends of a sort even though Chas hates that Robert’s there. It’s just basically a small rewrite of the 2016 and trial era where they’re already friends and just the tension of living and working around someone you still have intense and complicated feelings for and sneaking around and the also slow burn of enemies (ish) to friends to lovers is just really good. 

5. And I’m honestly probably going to end up writing a Supernatural fic because that’s just who I am now and what I’m about where Dean ends up adopting Claire and Jack in a non-hunter AU. 

Look, I’m going to level with you all... I played The Witcher 3 this year and now all I care about is writing about kids being happy and my favorite characters learning to be fathers. I can’t help it... I just love the idea of this fic because I adore Claire. And after the resurgence of Supernatural in a sense, I remembered how much I love Dean (though he is hitting a bit closer to home now that I’m over 30... but we’re not going to get into that.) 

So yeah... that’s that. It’s not really what it was supposed to be... but I answered it. That counts right? 

I do have plans to work on and/or finish some of these this year but I cannot guarantee anything. I also am just going to let my inspiration and muse take me where it wants to go and work on whatever I want to work on in the moment. I might try to do some more wip wednesday snippets (when I actually start writing again) so anyone who follows me can see what I’m actually working on and just to try and get back into the habit of actually working on my stuff.  💖

[yolkyeomie]

Trade Off of Gifts | Bang Chan

summary — no one knows the world of an artists as well as you do, at least that’s what you thought until he decided to show up one day

word count — 1.7k words

pairing — chan x gender neutral!reader

genre — fluff, artist!reader with a tiny hint of musician!chan (even tho he’s already a musician???)

disclaimer — just something tiny for all your fast and short topher needs !!

Being someone who is artistically gifted has its perks, leaving you to be more creatively thoughtful than most of the people around you.

The world and its people was one big incomplete painting to you, splashes of colors being splattered into its surface as you began to maneuver through it. You were the artist who determined what colors were allowed to stay and what colors no longer fit the narrative you were trying to create. It was a tiresome and even lonely job when you had to pick up a brush and bring a new color into your final masterpiece, but it was a rather exciting process nonetheless.

Different colors meant different things and different shades indicated different tones. Sometimes they’d change meanings and sometimes they’d stay the same, it always depended on how you felt that day. You could never explain exactly what everything meant to you, thinking of it as some innate feelings you were born with.

You never bothered trying to help outsiders comprehend what you meant either, as it was easier to keep it to yourself instead of giving your thoughts and feelings for the world to see.

But then somehow, you were stumbled upon by someone who shared the same views as you. Someone who saw the world in a rather similar artistic and dreamy light as you did, and they weren’t even an artist who puts pen to paper.

“That’s a nice drawing,” the stranger told you, hovering over your shoulder like a hawk to its prey. You scrambled to your feet almost immediately, pressing your art to your chest in a defensive manner. You didn’t like it when people hovered over you while you were drawing, entranced in this magical world of fantasy and possibility when you doodled on whatever surface you.

Usually, people would interrupt you when you weren’t finished, commenting on how odd everything seemed and how empty your art looked.

But then it clicked in your head, the stranger didn’t make any sort of ignorant comment on it. He simply said it was nice.

“Thank you,” you managed to say, your eyes darting down to the sketch you had created.

It wasn’t anything special, a half-done headshot of one of your friends from memory. It didn’t really look like any of your friends at the time either, there wasn’t enough detail on the features for it to be recognizable of who it was. “I mean, it’s not really done or anything so it’s not the best I’ve ever created but—“

“Really?” He questioned, his eyes widening to show off the little twinkling stars in his eyes and his mouth gaping open at your response. You couldn’t help but chuckle at his expression, nodding your head as an answer. “You’re a really good artist, you know that? Not many of my friends can even pick up a pencil if we really wanted to, but I guess that’s not really a compliment. Is portraits the only thing you draw?”

You lifted an eyebrow as he spoke, cautiously eying him and the choice of his words. He definitely wasn’t new to the whole artist thing, there was no way he was that knowledgeable on what artists liked to hear and what they didn’t like to hear and wasn’t an artist himself.

He even called you an artist instead of a “drawer”! If that wasn’t a dead giveaway of the fact that you were in the presence of an artistically gifted person then you don’t know what was.

“Not always,” you answered him, shrugging your shoulders as you tried to come up with a decent answer. “It really depends on my mood, but I like drawing portraits of people more than anything. It gives me an excuse to look at others without seeming… creepy? You know?”

“Oh…,” he nodded, a smile donning his face as he looked up at you. “So you’re a people watcher?”

“Not exactly,” you corrected him, “I just enjoy looking at people’s faces. You know, to catch every little detail that makes them unique to themselves. Everyone’s got something about them that’s different from everyone else and drawing lets me capture their uniqueness in a form that can be treasured forever.”

“That just sounds like an over-exaggeration of people watching,” the boy insisted, a laugh escaping his lips when he caught your frustrated glare digging daggers into his skull. “I’m kidding I promise! I completely understand what you mean. So who were you drawing just now then?”

Your expression immediately falls into a grimace, hesitantly peering towards your unfinished work to your friend. “Ah… this?” You ask him, trying to stall time from explaining your latest creation to him.

Through when you looked up to the boy he only nodded at your question and gave you the brightest smile he could. “It’s… it’s a drawing of a friend. He didn’t ask me to make this or anything, but I was just using him to practice faces.”

“You’re only practicing?” the boy gasped, scooting closer to you to steal another peek of your sketch from before. “That’s crazy, I would have thought you were working on an actual project and trying to get to the final piece!”

“You flatter me too much,” you joked, giving your sketch a half-smile. You appreciated the compliments he was showering you with, but there was no way you were actually living up to those expectations in your head. Being artistically gifted had its perks yet also had its more major downfalls: creating unattainable standards for yourself that you constantly set yourself up for failure was one of them. “I still have a long way to go before I can get anywhere near where I want to be.”

“I think where you are now is a great place, you should help yourself to the compliments when you get them. You deserve them,” he commented, a wide grin stretching across his face. Watching his lips turn into a smile made you so do the same, the atmosphere around him too addicting to go to waste. “Plus, I can tell you like it when people praise you.”

“Shut up, you ruined the moment,” you hissed, jumping to your feet to shove him out of your range of sight. The boy giggled at your reaction as he forced himself to stay put, not moving a singular inch no matter how hard you pushed him. “Leave! I don’t want you around me anymore, you ruined the moment!”

The boy thought about your words for a moment, as if he was trying to determine whether or not he wanted to leave you alone. “How about this,” he offered, spinning on his heel to face you. It caught you off guard for a moment, stumbling back on your feet as he shined that same smile from earlier on to you. “I’ll leave you alone now, but you have to let me come back and talk to you about your art more.”

You snorted, “I don’t even know you, why would I do that?”

He nodded in understanding, considering your comment before holding his hand out for you to shake. “Okay then, hi! I’m Bang Chan and I want you to let me come back another day and talk to you about your art. Does this make up for the lack of acquaintanceship?”

“Hi, I’m Y/N,” you humor him, shaking his hand before sliding out a slightly impolite question from your lips, “Is Bang Chan asking to hang around me because he wants me to give him a free drawing? If so I’m sorry but I’m not confident enough in my skills to even make you anything if I wanted to. There’s a reason I’m practicing here you know.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he clarified, slumping back onto the ground and laying back with a content smile. “I don’t want free art, I just want to hear you talk about your art. Maybe people watch with you from time to time.”

“I’m not a people watcher.”

“Sorry,” Chan nodded, “maybe not-people-watch with you then.”

You went silent for a moment, looking down at the sketch in your hands and glancing back towards the boy. “So that’s all? You just want to… hang out with me while I draw? No strings attached? You’re not going to ask me to draw you for free in the future or make fun of my unfinished work at all?”

He nodded in response and pointed a finger at your head. “The mind of an artist is a very interesting place to explore because not every artist has the same thought process when it comes to their creations. I want to see how we differ from each other.”

“So you’re an artist as well?” You question, your eyes widening as you slowly began to realize what he had said.

“Wouldn’t exactly say an artist,” Chan laughed, downplaying his statement as much as possible. “More of a… musician? I guess? I make songs, but that’s nothing compared to being someone who puts a pencil to paper.”

So your hunch was correct, Chan was artistically gifted! Of course, it wasn’t exactly in the way you had thought before but the mere fact that he was like you made much more sense now. “A musician is still an artist,” you tell him, “just because you’re not creating art in that sense doesn’t mean you aren’t an artist. Art comes in many different forms you know, you can’t limit it to one medium.”

“Well my form of art isn’t very… how do I say this, it isn’t—“

“—You’re embarrassed.” You finished. As expected the boy came up with as many excuses as possible, trying to drill the false act into your head but utterly failing. All you could do was laugh as you spoke, “don’t worry! It’s normal to be closed off about the things you create, I’m embarrassed to show off my art to people all of the time.”

Chan nodded, nervously fidgeting with his hair as he tried to play off his flustered actions. “I guess that’s one thing we have in common right?”

“Make that two things,” you corrected him. He turned to you with a confused glint in his eyes as you held up two fingers and grinned at him as you explained, “we’re both artists and we’re embarrassed to show people our creations. Oh the woes of being artistically gifted, am I right?”

He nodded in agreement, a cheeky smile appearing on his face once again as he repeated, “oh the woes of being artistically gifted.”

[phoenixrisesoncemore]

Fic writer tag game thing

Thanks for the tag, @senadimell!

—————

How many works do you have on a03?

One singular fic: Bailuobo. I have posted one other short fic HERE on Tumblr, and one chapter (so far) of one other looooong form WIP HERE (new chapter coming soon). All are in the MDZS/CQL fandom.

What’s your total a03 word count?

On AO3… 1607 words… 😆

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Well, my one and only AO3 fic currently has 129 kudos… so, I guess that one.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I will talk your ear off in comments. I feed on them. The longer the better. Come quench my comment thirst!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I’m going to include my unfinished Tolkien mega fic, my unfinished 1929 Wangxian fic, and my own very unfinished original fantasy work in considering this question. Spoiler—not really—but the Tolkien fic spans from the beginning of time to the end of time and ends with the collapse of the universe and yet the ending is extremely happy so not really that one. 1929 Wangxian’s unfinished ending vacillates between angsty/sad and happy/hopeful so that’s up in the air. My original piece is probably the angstiest, honestly, though I do have an unfinished Xenogears fic that is really dark.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

THIS one.

Do you write crossovers? if so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

OK… when I was 9 I started writing what was, I now know, a self-insert fic that crossed…

(oh God)

Ducktales, Star Trek: TNG, and Night Court.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, but I if I ever want any I’ll post that Ducktales/Star Trek:TNG/Night Court crossover.

Do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Not as of yet. I think there are a couple scenes in 1929 Wangxian that will qualify it as M but not E, so I guess no smut.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so, but I have a terrible idea for a Ducktales/Star Trek: TNG/Night Court crossover if you’d like it.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but what an honor that would be!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not. On the one hand, that sounds like an amazing experience! On the other, have you ever tried to work with me on a creative project?

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I really can’t pick one. WangXian is my heart right now. I’ve not been a huge shipper in my life, but there are others that are dear to me: Silvergifting, Zelink, I went through a Cloud/Sephiroth phase, a Citan/Yui phase (they’re married so that was convenient), and a very, very long 8th Doctor/a whole lotta people (me?) phase. Heck there was a Scrooge/Goldie phase in 1988 😊.

What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don’t know. I may never finish that original work. It’s also possible one strand of the Tolkien mega fic actually IS the contemporary version of that original work.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I sometimes write good prose, and am, at times, even proud of some of it. I sometimes write good dialogue, especially once I get into flow and into the characters’ heads. If I had to pick one aspect that’s the best I’d say descriptive prose is my number one strength—particularly that of setting, mood, and sensory elements, more so than prose that expresses plot and action. I would love to blend what I love most about Tolkien, Shirley Jackson, and Margaret Atwood into my prose.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot. Because I often don’t care about it. Just advancing action is hard for me. I also tend to get locked into things during editing. I struggle with TETRISing lines of prose and dialog back together during that stage, because I may know that something needs to change for pacing purposes or information purposes but I like the way the words sound as they are. I also tend to do the same thing I do with my art, which is overwork rather than let things be, leading to a more stilted end result.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I wrote a short play in Spanish years ago, but that was in a school setting; doing it in a fic setting where people who actually speak the language natively might read it… thinking of that gives me hives. So, of course, now I’m writing fic based on a story that originates in Mandarin: RIP me.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Back to the Future! But again, I didn’t know what “fanfiction” or “fandom” was at the time… It was the late 80s.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Probably THIS one again, because I feel like I actually struck a balance of pacing with ornate but not overly ornate prose that expresses the story and emotions I want without being overly literal. My brain is very literal and controlling… when I’m sober. When I wrote the first half of this one I had had two glasses of wine and man the imagery just flowed. (Don’t take this as an endorsement of irresponsible or underage drinking, kids!)

—————

Tagging @thearrogantemu, @wangxianbunnydoodles, @needtherapy, @cortue, @azaisya. No pressure to respond if you don’t want to. If anyone else wants to play please do!

[bangtan-madi]

546 Days Without You — Four: Day 20

Pairing — Seokjin x Reader

Tags — boyfriend!Seokjin, older brother!Yoongi, producer/songwriter!MC, military au (ish), idol au (ish)

Genre — fluff, angst

Word Count — 3.1k

Summary — Kim Seokjin is your entire world, and that world falls apart the moment he and your older brother Yoongi are conscripted into the South Korean military.

Part — 4 / 15

Warnings — seclusion and depression, a couple brief mentions of eating disorders (no detail), general sadness, unhealthy work behaviors and coping mechanisms, enlistment

(gif not mine. credit to original creator.)

Previous — Next

For weeks after Seokjin and Yoongi enlist, the news stations and other various media outlets are covering it 24/7. No one expected Yoongi to enlist this early, and the circumstances around Seokjin's enlistment haven't died down since they were released. In the midst of the chaos, there were rumors floating around about BTS, BigHit, and you. More specifically, you and the eldest member.

It hadn't gone unnoticed the way you acted right before he left for the military. While you both had tried very hard to be inconspicuous, gossip never really goes away. At this point, you're used to it, and you couldn't care less about what everyone else thinks.

Life hasn't been the easiest the past month. Each of the members has been dealing with their absences in different ways. 

Namjoon has been burying himself in work, focusing entirely on the next album. He's been writing and working with the producers nonstop. You've hardly seen him at all the past few days. Hoseok has been a light amid the darkness, trying his hardest to pick up the motherly slack where Seokjin left off, but even he is struggling to keep a smile on his face. He's even tried to crack terrible dad jokes, but they're not quite enough to fill the void.

Jimin has taken the news hard, and has shifted back into his self-destructive habits. Eating hasn't been a regular thing, and he's been practicing both dancing and singing nonstop. He's always been one to move to express himself, but the lack of proper self-care has been eating away at him. Taehyung has been no better. One of your oldest friends has shrunk in on himself, becoming a much quieter, more demure version of the ray of sunshine everyone adores. He keeps to himself most of the time.

Jungkook is the person most outward with his struggles, but with no one to share them with, he's resorted to exercising and sports. The youngest member has always been athletic, and it's always been a stress reliever for him. On an ordinary day, that's a good thing. However, like the others, he's using these activities as a crutch, a distraction, a way to cope with losing two oldest brothers.

And you're no better than any of them. You can feel yourself spiraling more every day. At the beginning, you tried your best to help each of the members with their emotions. But the more you took on, the further you fell away. No one realized how much of the band's weight Yoongi and Seokjin bore. They were foundational pillars. Without them, the dorms feel empty.

As does your apartment. Seokjin was always lively, especially in the privacy of your home, and not having him there makes it feel so damned dark. No matter how many lights you turn on, the shadows remain.

It's due to this fact that you've been spending most of your days and nights in Yoongi's Genius Lab and not at home. Being around Yoongi's work, his memorabilia, his passion projects, it makes you feel safe. Just being around your brother's things brings you immense comfort, but being around an empty apartment? 

That does the opposite.

Headphones on and notebook in front of you, you lounge casually on the sofa across from Yoongi's producing setup. The screens create a blue luminosity, and his unfinished music blares in your ears. You were hoping that being here, hearing his voice, would reignite your own creative spark, as you haven't written any of your own music since the departure. Seems all it's done is bring you lower into the darkness and let your demons rise higher around you.

Your phone buzzes on the cushion beside you. Hoseok's face illuminates briefly before disappearing, along with the other half-dozen notifications—most of which were from him, to begin with. He's called a few times over the weekend and texted nonstop. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what he's doing.

It's Christmas Eve, and no one is talking. You'd called your parents earlier that week and told them that you'd be spending the holidays in Seoul instead of traveling to Daegu. You blamed it on the weather, the distance, the urgent work on the new album, the wish to be with the boys—which was everything but the truth.

If you're honest with yourself, you don't want to see your mother's face when she looked at you. You know how much she sees Yoongi in you; the two of you are more alike than you'd care to admit. When she sees you, she sees him, and the whole room gets quiet and sad. The holidays are miserable enough without that constant reminder. 

Taking even a brief look at Hoseok's messages ends up being a mistake.

You shake your head and flip the phone over, not wanting to let them distract you. Just because you decided to stay in Seoul doesn't mean you want to celebrate.

In your mind, there's nothing to celebrate.

Sometime later, there's a loud knock on the studio door. Through the foggy glass, you see a tall silhouette. The figure knocks again, this time ringing the bell to accompany it.

"[Y/n], open up."

"I'm working!" you shout back.

Hoseok doesn't move. "You know, I could just open this if I wanted to. Yoongi gave me the code before he left."

You scoff, "Liar. He never gave that to anyone but me."

There's a pause, then a click, and the door swings open. Hoseok leans through the door, cocking an eyebrow in your direction. "Who's the liar now? You're not working, you're moping."

You ball up your most recent attempt at a melody and chuck the sphere at his head. It misses, but only barely. "Yeah, what about it?"

"God, you're such a brat sometimes." He moves over to where you sit and, slipping his arms under your frame, hauls you into his arms. 

"What the hell, Jung Hoseok—"

"—I'm intervening because this has got to stop, and someone's gotta do it," he interrupts, keeping a firm grasp on you as he shifts you onto his back and continues out of the studio. Closing the door with his foot, he keeps a gentle grip on your thighs, and you wrap your arms around his neck. "I've already forced Namjoon and Jungkook to come back home, and I tricked Jimin and Taehyung into showing up from their hiding places. We've got to talk, all of us."

There's a quiver in his voice as he continues down the hallway, one that makes you pause a little. "Hobi..."

The brunet sighs, "I'm sick of the silence, [Y/n]. Sick of it."

The hallway falls silent as he drags you from Genius Lab to the living room of the boys' dormitories. When you enter the large, open space, you see the rest of the boys seated in various places. Jimin stands to the side of the sofa, where Jungkook and Namjoon recline on opposite sides. Taehyung sits cross-legged on the floor across from them, elbows perched on the edge of the coffee table.

Hoseok slides you into the armchair next to Taehyung, ordering you to stay put. Pulling your knees up onto the cushion, you give the third-oldest member a scowl.

"Blackmail," Jimin mutters, flashing Hoseok his infamous side-eye.

Hoseok takes his stance off to the side, in an area where everyone can see him. He huffs a breath and places his hands on his hips. As he looks to each of you, his annoyance grows.

"We're not leaving this room until we get some things sorted out and start talking again. So...who wants to go first?"

A moment of silence passes before Jungkook murmurs, "What's there to talk about? We've all just been busy."

"That excuse isn't going to fly, not on Christmas Eve. We've been like this for weeks, and I—I can't take it anymore." Hoseok runs a hand through his dark hair, exasperated. "Ever since Jin and Yoongi left, we've barely interacted with each other. Namjoon, you've been working nonstop. Same with you, Jimin."

He turns to Jungkook and Taehyung. "I get that you love being at the gym, but all the time, Jungkook? And Tae, we hardly see you anymore. You're so quiet, and it's worrying me." He turns to you, chocolate brown eyes turning up at the corners. "You're the same, [Y/n], but you've held yourself up in Yoongi's studio. We can all tell you're suffering, but honestly, I've been too scared to knock until tonight."

"Some of us just need some space, Hyung," Taehyung states, voice deep and nonchalant. 

Hoseok crosses his arms over his chest. "The space is hurting all of us. It's not helping. I thought giving everyone some time would make things better, but we've all gotten worse! I hate seeing everyone I care about fall to pieces."

"What are our options?" you suggest, gesturing to the side with your hands, as if motioning to the outside. "The whole damn world is a rumor mill right now. They're freaking out about Seokjin and Yoongi, but on top of that, they're catching wind of Jin's love life! And I'm involved now. Our families are being harassed with question after question. Eomma had to close down the restaurant for a few hours last week because of the reporters! We have every damn right to be upset, to be angry, to want some space."

"Maybe we're not doing so well, and while a lot of that is due to outside circumstances, I'm willing to bet those things only make what's happening inside that much worse," Hoseok replies, attempting to keep his voice even. "The outside is only stirring up our internal struggles, but they were there before. I saw you start to go downhill even before they left, so you can't blame it on that, [Y/n]."

"Are you saying we shouldn't miss them?" Jimin retorts, his tone coming out short and abrasive. 

Hoseok laughs dryly and throws his hands up in frustration. "Of course not! I miss them too! You guys aren't the only ones that are sad about our hyungs. But I have to be the one that smiles. I have to be the oldest now. I have to keep the happiness alive—because that's what they'd want—but I'm exhausted. I—I can't keep doing this."

The current oldest finishes his mini-rant, plopping down on the sofa between Namjoon and Jungkook. He rests his elbows on his knees, burying his head into his hands. "I'm next, you know? My timer's counting down, just like everyone else's. But if this is how you're gonna react acter I enlist, then I'm dreading it even more."

"Don't say that," Jungkook says, turning to face Hoseok.

The brunet shakes his head, running his hands over his face as he scans the room. "We can't keep falling apart every time this comes up. We knew it was coming. We thought we were prepared...but I guess not. We have to talk to each other. We can't shut each other out. I'll pull a Yoongi and kick each of your asses until we get this fixed and out into the open." 

He turns to Namjoon, taking in the leader of the group with careful eyes. "You're quiet. Please, tell me I'm not making things worse by calling for an intervention, because I'm at the end of my rope and...god, I don't know what else to do."

Namjoon's eyes focus on his clasped hands, features soft despite his clenching jaw. "Maybe you've got a point." His gaze shifts upwards. "We've all been going back to our old crutches, the things we use to manage stress and sadness. In moderation, they're good—healthy even. But we're letting them consume us. It's the same as if one of us were to go to alcohol, or drugs, or women. These crutches are just as bad for us, but just less obvious. Hoseok is probably the only one that's noticed each of us spiraling."

He breathes out, then stands to pace the room. All eyes focus on him as his voice comes out soothing and authoritative. "We've gotta start thinking about this as a tour. We need to come together as a group, as a family, and talk about these things before they tear us apart. We've had fights before, and we've always discussed and made changes going forward. We have to do the same thing here."

"What do you suggest?"

Namjoon turns back to the only sensible person in the room. "We need to rely more on each other and less on our vices. That's different for each of us. For me...that means not working twenty-hour days and forgetting basic things like eating, sleeping, showering."

Jungkook makes a face, forever the member most sensitive to smell. "Yes, god, please take a shower, Hyung."

Namjoon chuckles, and the mood in the room is instantly lifted. "Right after we finish, I promise. But I think we all need to admit to our weaknesses and acknowledge that we need help with them. Nothing shameful in that. I went first, but what about you?"

Jungkook speaks up first, his voice soft and endearing as he hugs a throw pillow to his chest. "I distract myself with my hobbies. Maybe I've been spending a little too much time at the gym...or playing games. Maybe not enough time talking with the group."

Namjoon places a tender hand on the youngest's shoulders, flashing a proud smile.

"I've been hiding from everything, I think," Taehyung admits, getting a little courage from Jungkook's truth. "Without Yoongi or Jin, and with some of my closest friends hiding away, I let myself shrink and go back to that sad place I fought so hard to escape."

Seeing the way Taehyung curls his shoulders inwards causes you to get up from your chair and sit behind him on the floor. You wrap your arms around his middle and rest your cheek against his back, holding him tightly to you. 

Jimin speaks next, awkwardly shuffling where he stands. "I don't want any of you to worry about me. I'm just dancing, that's all."

"Way too much, for way too long, and without proper meals," Hoseok gently prods.

Jimin's gaze shifts to the floor. "Yeah...Yeah. I guess that's true. I just—I haven't had an appetite lately. The only thing that's made me feel better is dancing, so I do that instead..."

Hoseok walks over to Jimin and collects him in his arms, seeing the younger member struggling internally to admit his feelings. Jimin rests his head on Hoseok's shoulder as he tells Jimin to focus on his breathing.

"You're not alone in that, you know," Jungkook states.

Waves of realization wash over you as you hear each of the members being honest about what they've gone through the past few weeks. It breaks your heart to see them all struggling, suffering, all of it in silence. And along with the heartbreak is guilt. You should've noticed more. You should've said something. You should've done something.

Anything more than hiding away where no one could find you.

You turn your head and hide your face in Taehyung's hoodie, feeling like the worst friend in the whole world.

The other Daegu native places his hands over yours on his middle, glancing over his shoulder at your face. "Your turn, Noona."

You look over the curly-haired boy's shoulder, towards the rest of the members who are watching you. You shrug off your guilt and sigh, "It's like Hobi said. I hid away and made you all worry. I just—I felt angry, and sad, and lonely. And I made everything worse by secluding myself in Yoongi's studio. And I'm sorry for that."

Taehyung threads his fingers through yours, offering a tiny version of his boxy smile. "You don't need to be sorry, [Y/n]. We're all dealing with things in different ways."

His sweetness causes you to tear up. "Still, I owe you all an apology. I should've known that you all would be hurt by the conscription, too. I was selfish to focus only on what I'd lost. I—I love you all so much, and I promise I'll do better."

One by one, each of the members slips to the floor and contributes to the group hug around you and Taehyung. Wrapped in their warmth, you start to feel your emotions stabilizing. It seems that everyone else is feeling the same, for you all breathe a sigh of relief at the same time.

After a few minutes of pure, blissful silence, you turn your head to the side and murmur, "Is anyone up for a movie or something? I don't wanna go to bed just yet, and I miss you guys."

Jungkook is the first to nod eagerly, his head popping up out of the group with a wide smile plastered on his face. "Can I pick?"

Namjoon chuckles, "Sure, but no zombie movies. You know Hobi can't stand those."

"Yeah, they make him piss his pants," Jimin giggles.

Hobi gawks at the members as each of them departs towards the theater room, eventually giving playful chase after the youngest. 

"Are you going to be okay?" Taehyung whispers as you two are left alone.

You nod against his shoulder, press a chaste kiss to the back of his head, and help him off the ground, smiling the first smile you've had in weeks. 

"As long as I have you five with me, I guarantee it." 

[muertawrites]

Make It Work (Loki x Reader)

Summary: Reader is Loki's personal seamstress, brought from Midgard to design for him. While making a little something for an upcoming gala, things take a turn and get interesting.

Word Count: 3,200

Author's Note: I've been watching a lot of Project Runway lately and got inspired to write this because of all the posts I’ve seen going around about how Extra AF™️ Loki is with his wardrobe. I think I might slowly be getting lost in my own imagination. I might also do a second part to this, but I’m not entirely sure yet. Also, I totally wrote this today instead of finishing the third part of Death’s Door because I’m awful, but I’m gonna try to get that up ASAP for the two of you who might actually be looking forward to it. My week is just going to be extremely hectic so please be kind and patient. Shit is going down for me right now but all of it’s good.

                                           ~ Muerta 🌸💀🌸

Loki Laufeyson was a very particular man. As king of Asgard, it was imperative that he always look his best; this was made all the more important due to the fact that he was, for lack of a better phrase, a conceited drama queen, and if everything he wore wasn't tailored perfectly to his tastes, didn't outdo everyone else in whatever room he happened to be standing in, it wasn't good enough. This vanity was exactly the reason why he'd offered you a job as his personal seamstress.

To be clear, Loki hadn't so much "offered" the position as he'd threatened to kidnap you at knife point if you didn't take it, and since you really didn't have anything bigger or better holding out for you on Midgard, you figured taking him up couldn't do much harm, so you went without a struggle.

He had started out as one of your customers at the Fifth Avenue tailor you worked for in Manhattan, a regular who always requested your services when coming in for a new suit. It was a high-end boutique, known for its super personalized suits and servicing the wealthiest businessmen in the country, as well as a few well known celebrities (Tom Hiddleston being the most notable among them).

You had always had an intense interest for men's suits, something that confused everyone you knew and, at times, even yourself. But you loved working with each piece, manipulating the fine fabrics at your disposal into the perfect fit for each client, going as understated or as over-the-top as was desired. There was so much more potential in a suit than most people realized, and seeing the way something as simple as expertly tailored wool and silk made every single man you dressed, no matter what his shape, size, or means, into a modern day Adonis never ceased to give you pride and satisfaction in your work. Loki noticed this dedication to your craft and refused to let anyone but you design for him.

At first, you made only all black suits for the god. Always in the same materials, always in the same fit. After about ten of these suits, however, Loki noticed how you began to get bored, and, not wanting you lose your attention, he requested his next suit be made with gold embellishments, which you were free to be creative with. Being a native New Yorker, you knew exactly who he was and where he came from and, not holding any grudges due to his polite demeanor and generous tipping habits, you made the detailing extremely intricate, consisting of traditional Norse interlace patterns, embroidered in varying shades of gold to give it depth. It became one of Loki's favorite suits, and he continued to give you requests for subtly different designs until finally taking you for himself.

It was another beautiful day in Asgard's capital city, one which you were spending in your studio in the palace, bent over an expanse of black and green leather you were attempting to shape into Loki's next ensemble, something for an important gala he was hosting in a few weeks. You were so absorbed in your work that you didn't hear him come in, pacing across the room until he was stood right behind you, looming over your shoulder to get a look at what you were doing.

"It should have a cape," he said in your ear.

You jumped, startled, and fell backwards into him, his large hands taking hold of your shoulders to keep you from toppling over. You glared up at him, getting an amused smirk in response.

"I'm not putting a cape on it," you quipped. "I don't trust the people you've invited to this thing not to attack you, and a cape is basically a death sentence in a fight."

Loki shrugged.

"It could be a removable cape," he suggested.

"Oh, what, like how you have removable innards?" you countered. "I know you're probably going to die because of your own melodramatic stupidity, but I'm not going to be the one to enable it."

Loki chuckled, crossing the room to the stacks of fabric you had piled up against the wall, running one of the velvets between his fingers.

"Are you making something for yourself?" he asked.

"For the gala? Why?" you replied.

"I would very much like you to come as my companion."

You smirked, finishing up the line you were sewing and cutting off the loose end with one of the knives you kept handy, a habit you had gotten from spending so much time with Loki.

"Don't you think you'll look bad taking one of the help as your date?" you teased. 

Loki scoffed, rolling his eyes at you.

"That attitude of yours worries me more than anything else," he replied.

You laughed, looking up at him and gesturing him over.

“Come here,” you said. “Clothes off, I want to see how it looks.”

Loki gave you a brief look of annoyance but made his way over to you without a fight. He stripped down to his underthings, standing in front of you with nearly all of his pale, lean frame exposed, looking quite bored with what could be considered such a scandalous situation. You were unphased by his nakedness, having seen much more of the god than you were willing to admit you liked during your many fittings, and went immediately to work, first tying up his hair in a messy knot atop his head so it was out of your way, having to stand on a step stool to reach.

“We match,” Loki said, nodding at your own disheveled twist of hair as he met your eyes in the mirror that spanned an entire wall of your studio. You playfully stuck your tongue out at him, hopping down from your stool and taking your latest work from its place at the table.

After maneuvering the leather over Loki’s legs and torso, you pinned each piece of material together where the seams would be, taking note of where things didn’t quite fit or lay right. Once you were satisfied with your inspection, you stepped away, smoothing out the material with your hands and meeting Loki’s eyes in the mirror once again.

“How is it?” you asked, pulling a stray pin out of your mouth. “I know you like a gold plate at your neck, and I kind of wanted to do a bigger one this time, almost like a chest plate with maybe some matching cuffs… What?” You looked over at his expression, which was pulled into a frown. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Aside from the fact that there is no cape,” Loki drawled, turning to get a better view of his reflection, “I am unhappy with the fact that it is quite boring.”

“Boring,” you repeated, raising your brows. He nodded.

“Yes. This here,” – he gestured to the ribbing at his torso – “is far too simple, it needs… more. The shoulders should be broader, too, and I want something here,” – he swiped a hand down his right arm – “some sort of design or something. And I want a coat.”

“I thought you wanted a cape,” you deadpanned.

“You can do both,” Loki replied, shrugging. “I would also like a new helmet. I would like the horns to be bigger… more curved.”

You huffed, closing your eyes for a moment as you focused your thoughts on ways not to kill him. He always did this, so it was nothing new, but he came to you with crazier, more insane suggestions each time he gave his critiques. If it weren’t what you put every ounce of your time and energy into, you were certain you wouldn’t be able to keep up with his demands. You put your hands on your hips, biting your lip in frustration as you walked over to him, looking him up and down.

“… Okay,” you sighed. “Okay. I’ll get some sketches made for the coat, I’ll add a little bit to the sleeve and talk to the goldsmith about your helmet, and I’ll just extend the chest plate to make up for the issues with the torso. You’re still not getting a cape.”

“Why can’t I have the cape?” Loki asked, indignant.

“Because you’ll look fucking ridiculous with a coat and a cape and I’m not going to do that to my reputation.”

Loki stared you down but didn’t retort, and that was the closest you knew you would ever get to him admitting that you were right. You smiled at him, giving him a pat on the shoulder.

“Thank you for understanding,” you said. “You can get dressed now.”

You helped Loki out of the unfinished garments, not being as careful as you should have been about avoiding stabbing him with the pins they were now laden with, and spread them back out on the table, running your fingers over them in thought.

“I’ll be back this evening,” Loki told you as he stalked out of the room, stopping at the double doors leading out into the corridor. “Make something for yourself. Preferably something that matches what you’ve made for me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you mumbled, waving him out without looking up at him.

Loki smirked, stealing one last, endearing glance at you before leaving you to your work.

 “Oh, come on!” you cried, mouth full of pasta and vegetables. “There’s an unconventional materials challenge every fucking season, how are you surprised by this?!”

You were sat on the plush, bed-sized couch in the break room connected to your studio, having a late dinner before getting back to work on Loki’s gala outfit. A major perk of being one of the king’s favorite people in the palace was that he was willing to give you whatever you wanted in exchange for your best work, and for you, that meant a cozy Midgardian style lounge, complete with a fridge full of snacks and a TV with every paid streaming service available. Tonight you were watching Project Runway, indulging in your favorite reality show for inspiration and releasing some stress by ripping your least favorite designers to shreds.

“What are you screaming about?” Loki snapped, making his presence known as he skulked through the doorway. You shoveled more pasta into your mouth, humming in excitement.

“Project Runway,” you told him. “It’s this show where fashion designers compete against each other for this huge prize and a ton of exposure. They make a new outfit every single episode and it’s just insane the talent that some of them have.”

“And this is what you’re doing instead of working?” Loki asked disapprovingly, though he sank down on the couch beside you after fishing an extra fork from one of the drawers in the kitchenette, stabbing it into your pasta and taking a bite for himself.

“I’m having dinner,” you said, fighting off his fork with your own when he tried to plunge it back into your bowl. “There’s more in the fridge if you want some. We can finish this episode then go look at what I have finished.”

Four episodes later, you and Loki were still in the lounge, sprawled out on the couch and screaming at each other in adamant disagreement about who you each thought deserved to win the season.

“Everything he designs looks exactly the same, and none of it is even that good!” you shouted. “Like, who the hell is even going to wear any of that? What value do any of his designs have if he can’t market them??”

“He is an artist,” Loki scoffed back at you. “He does not need to sell his fashions because he is making a statement with them. You of all people should understand that.”

“There’s a reason it’s called the fashion industry, Loki,” you snapped. “And the only ‘statement’ a beige parachute makes on a runway is ‘everything I do is bored and uninspired, just like me’!”

You were silenced by a throw pillow smacking you in the face, causing you to huff in surprise and flail your arms as you tried to deflect the projectiles being hurled at you. You managed to catch one of them, bringing it down into Loki’s cheek, causing him to cackle with laughter as he crawled over you, wrapping his strong arms around your body and pinning you to the cushions. You squirmed against him, glaring up at his obnoxiously smug face when you realized you were trapped, wishing you had a hand free to slap the smirk from it.

“Let me go,” you demanded.

“You have to either agree with me, or give up this nonsensical program and show me what you’ve made,” Loki countered. You rolled your eyes.

“You are an absolute killjoy,” you said, wiggling under his weight.

“Does that mean you agree with me?” Loki asked.

“Never,” you hissed, baring your teeth at him. He laughed, freeing you from his grasp and offering you his hand.

“Come,” he coaxed you. “Let us see what you have done.”

You took Loki’s hand and allowed him to hoist you off the couch, still holding onto him as he led you into your studio. You brought him to the mannequin you had dressed his outfit in, sighing as you reached out to fold one of the shoulders of the coat you had recently crafted over and off of it, revealing the changes you had made to the top underneath.

“So, I added the design to the sleeve like you wanted,” you said, moving your hands over the various pieces as you spoke, “and added it to the calves of the pants too so it matched a little better. I made the shoulders of the coat bigger like you wanted but I still haven’t done anything to the torso of the shirt because the chest plate is going to be so big.”

Loki hummed, stroking his chin as he looked over the changes you’d made.

“… It’s good,” he concluded after a while. “It’s very good. I am excited to see it finished.”

You smiled, letting out a breath you didn’t notice you had been holding.

“Now,” Loki said suddenly, pulling you out of your momentary relief. “What have you made for yourself?”

You held your breath again, considering your words carefully as you spoke.

“Well… I started a dress, but I don’t know exactly how you’ll feel about it.”

“Show it to me,” Loki commanded.

You breathed deeply, slowly pacing over to the closet on the other side of the room and pulling the one dress form you owned from it, revealing what you had spent a considerable amount of your afternoon on. It wasn’t a traditional gown like you assumed Loki had intended, but was instead a suit jacket made from the same leather his own ensemble was formed in, tailored to fit perfectly to the curves of your body like a corset and sewn together in a decorative plait where the buttons would have been, fanning out into a flowing, floor-length skirt which faded from black to emerald. You had cut the sides of the jacket into curves that arched at the waist, forming pointed V shapes in the front and back, and had accented it with a gold silk pocket square. You chewed on your lip as you watched Loki’s eyes scan over the gown.

“… I would like to see it on you,” he said after a moment, his eyes meeting yours.

“No,” you replied, a strong blush creeping across your cheeks. “I’m not undressing in front of you.”

“Why not?” Loki smirked. “I’ve undressed for you on dozens of occasions.”

You glared at him, then rolled your eyes as you broke under his gaze, reluctantly stepping out of your clothes and into the dress. You were thankful when he turned around, being polite enough to look away until you were completely dressed again, clearing your throat to signal that you were decent. 

Loki raked his eyes over your body, his tongue gliding over his lips in thought.

“It is not horrid,” he decided eventually, one of his hands reaching out to toy with the lapel of the jacket.

“I’m flattered,” you replied humorlessly. Loki chuckled.

“It is quite interesting,” he said, stepping back to get a better view of the dress as a whole. “It fits you well… but you look something like the wicked witch from that Midgardian tale about the girl from Kansas.”

You sneered, wanting to stab him with your shearing scissors.

“Oh, do not look at me like that, pet,” Loki chided you, amused by your murderous gaze. “I do like it. But I feel you can do better for yourself.”

You huffed, shaking your head and letting your shoulders fall, wondering if you would ever please the too-critical god on a first attempt.

“What do you suggest I do, then?” you snapped.

Loki pursed his lips together, pacing forward so that he was mere inches from you, his chest nearly touching yours. You felt your body grow warm at his closeness, and you found it hard to continue holding his gaze. One of his hands slipped in between the two of you to the plait in the front of your gown, his slender fingers running down it and untangling it, taking out the stitches you had laid underneath it as well. You drew a shallow breath in between your teeth, cursing him as well as yourself for the pleasure and excitement you could feel welling in your stomach.

“You are so gorgeous, Y/N,” Loki purred, his hand now sliding beneath the leather at your shoulder, grazing over your skin and leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake, “and as much as I admire your work with suits, you deserve to wear something that… ravishes you.”

With a quick sweep of his hand, Loki slid the fabric covering you from your body, leaving you completely exposed as it fell to the floor in a heap at your feet. You shivered as the cool air hit your exposed skin, and your eyes fell to see that Loki’s chest was heaving despite his calm demeanor. He rested one of his long fingers under your chin, tilting your head upward to face him, your noses brushing softly together and his lips nearly on yours, leaving you longing for his kiss. Your hand fell to his hip and pulled him the slightest bit closer to you, seemingly of its own volition.

“I want you to make something so alluring,” Loki whispered, his eyes cutting into yours with unspeakable need, “that I can barely control myself when I see you in it.”

You had to physically bite down on your lip to keep the gasp from escaping your throat, your eyes fluttering as Loki leaned in and kissed the corner of your mouth before pulling away, leaving you feeling cold and vulnerable, your body aching for the return of his touch.

“Make it work,” he teased, his voice lilting in the same graceful, effeminate way as Tim Gunn’s would when uttering those words.

As Loki lurked through the doors, leaving you naked and alone in the middle of your studio, you promised yourself that the gown you wore to the gala would do nothing short of absolutely devastating him.

[keepcalmimthecupcake]

She’s From Boston part 8

Steve McGarrett x ofc

Word count : 1616

Warnings: None

A/N: I have and will be taking some creative liberties as to Sophie’s schooling. Kind of combining a few different ways schools run and such. Shhhh. Just let it happen. XD Once again, thanks to my lovely beta @fandomoniumflurry  If you want to catch up on the series, here is where you can find the other parts: 1  2  3  4  5  6   7  Feedback is lovely and fuels my muse’s fire. If you enjoy my work and would like to buy me a coffee, you can do so here.  You can find all my works here.

H50 taggers:

@fandomoniumflurry

@hawaiianohana15

Steve had taken Sophie to the Culinary Institute of the Pacific admissions office less than an hour after she’d disclosed more of her past to him and had waited there while she filled out her application. There was a fee, of course, and of course the commander paid for it, much to Sophie’s dismay. She appreciated his help, but she didn’t want him paying her way all the time. “Consider it an investment in the future.” he said, echoing Michael’s words before she’d left Massachusetts. “You learn to cook even better than you already do, I get to reap the rewards of being your guinea pig. It’s a win-win situation.” Steve stated with a bright smile. Sophie couldn’t argue with him, especially when he flashed that mesmerizing grin at her.

She was anxious and on edge every time she checked the mail for the next week and a half. The admissions process was stressful with all the waiting. This was the only school she’d applied to so far and if she got in, she could start within a month. She busied herself with cleaning up the house. Laundry was done, floors swept and mopped, windows washed, on just the first day. Steve came home that night and chuckled as he looked around. “The place hasn’t been this clean in years. You know, you don’t have to do everything in one day.” He gave her a smile and a gentle hug. “It looks really good but seriously. Don’t wear yourself out. You’ve done a lot today. Junior should be here soon. Let’s all go grab dinner somewhere.”

That night was her first time at the restaurant of the Hilton Hawaiian Village. She’d stayed there two weeks when she first arrived, but never dined in their restaurant, always choosing cheaper food from a small grocery store a few streets over. The place was fantastic! The entertainment was amazing and of course, the company was great. She found herself examining the food when it was brought to them, noticing how it was presented and other such things she was sure to learn when she got into cooking school. It wouldn’t hurt to take some notes beforehand.

The dinner was great and by the time the trio arrived back home, Sophie was more than ready to fall into bed. The next few days she busied herself with some light cleaning and some reading. On the third afternoon, she decided to go online to see if there was a craft store nearby. To her happiness, there was! And, she discovered, it was on the bus line. She took what little money she had left and made her way to the shop.

She hadn’t been in a craft store in many years. Brian had never allowed her to do much that she sought pleasure in. Crocheting certainly was off the list. But as she looked around at the rows and rows of different yarns on the shelves, her eyes glistened with tears. She remembered sitting on Nana and Papa’s front porch trying to learn how to begin a project. It took her a few times, but Nana had been very patient with her and exclaimed with joy when she finally got it right.

The blanket that she’d abandoned after her parents were killed still sat unfinished in a box in Michael and Lydia’s garage. Maybe one day she would finish it. But now, she wanted to begin something new. She picked out several skeins of yarn, the colors of camouflage, and found a few hooks that were the sizes she would need. Once the items were purchased, she made her way back to the house and begun what would be a gift for Steve.

Over the next several days, after her housework duties were finished, she worked on the commander’s present. It got a little frustrating on a few parts, but she was able to figure it out and things were coming along quite nicely now. It was almost finished. On day nine, Steve had come in with a few pieces of mail. “Is there a Miss Sophie Russo in the house?” he’d called out, a bright smile on his face. “I have what could be a very important letter for her.”

Sophie rushed out from the kitchen where she was fixing herself a light snack and snatched the envelope from him. She tore it open and her eyes began welling up with tears as she read. She had to read it over a few times before the message sank in. “I got in.” she stated flatly. “They…...I GOT IN!” Her face broke into a huge smile and she flung her arms around around Steve’s neck. “Thank you, Steve!” She showed him the letter, the smile never leaving her face. He, too, was all smiles as he read the letter and congratulated her. “This calls for a celebration! I need to make some calls.”

He went upstairs to shower and make his calls as she sat looking over the materials the package contained. She’d have to get some supplies and books, but that could wait til tomorrow at least. Tonight, she would bask in this victory to reclaiming herself in full. When Steve came back down, he informed her that they were going out for dinner with the ohana. Jerry, Kamekona, Flippa, Lou, Adam, Tani, Danny and Junior would be joining them to celebrate Sophie’s big day.

She once again took some note of how the food was presented but didn’t allow herself to think too much on this. Instead, she got caught up in the atmosphere of the night. Their party was a little boisterous, but everyone was in good spirits and she laughed more than she had for a very long time. That was, until the waitress kept trying to make passes at Steve. Sophie scowled slightly at this, but didn’t say anything. Steve was free to talk to or date whoever he wanted to. One of the times, she noticed Adam looking at her during a scowl and he raised a brow. She quickly looked away and was very interested in the conversation Jerry was having with Lou.

Several times this waitress came back and tried to capture Steve’s attention and it annoyed Sophie. Still, she kept quiet about it. She didn’t understand why she was feeling so annoyed by this. Steve was her friend, her roommate, her employer even. Why was this stupid waitress getting on her nerves so much? Steve hadn’t responded to her advances, Sophie was glad to see, but that didn’t stop the wench from trying. Maybe she’s just trying a little too hard to get a good tip Sophie thought, and put the girl out of her mind to enjoy the rest of the evening.

Much food and many drinks later, the group dispersed to go home. Steve, only having had a couple beers, drove Tani and Danny home, then returned for Sophie and Junior. Once they arrived back home, Sophie sleepily wished the two men a good night and trudged up to her room. She’d intended to work more on Steve’s blanket, but instead she fell on her bed and went right to sleep.

The next morning when she woke, the house was empty. There was a note from Steve on the fridge telling her that they’d had to get to the office early today. She went about making herself some breakfast then did the dishes before putting a load of laundry in the machine. While the clothes were washing, she sat down and worked on the blanket. With any luck, she’d have it finished by this afternoon. The sun was bright and just as she decided she wanted to go sit in the back yard and read for a bit, there was a knock on the door.

She opened the door and was surprised when a delivery man from a florists’ shop stood there. “Sophie Russo?” he asked and she nodded. He smiled and pushed a beautiful arrangement of flowers toward her. “If you could sign right here……” She signed his paper and thanked him, then took the vase inside. There was a card in the middle that said simply “To Sophie. From your secret admirer.”

Her brows narrowed as she thought about who these could be from. She didn’t know many people here yet and most of those she did were already taken. None of them had shown any interest in her in that manner. She allowed herself a smile when she wondered if they were from Steve. This would be something he would do just to brighten her day, but it was still early and he was at work. He wouldn’t have had time to call for the delivery. Then panic set in when she thought about someone else they could be from. Had Brian found her? Did he know where she was staying? Suddenly, she didn’t want to be home alone anymore.

She was startled by the buzzing of the washer indicating that the load was finished. She quickly shoved the clothes in the dryer, turned it on and made her way outside and across the street to Miss Kala’s home. She knocked on the door and was glad when the woman answered. Sophie asked for a ride into town and Kala grabbed her keys and the pair was off. Sophie tried to keep her panic to a minimum and not let anyone know she was upset. When she got to the office, she greeted Jerry with a smile. “Hey, Jerry. Mind if I hang out a little while? It was kind of boring sitting at the house by myself.” was all that was offered as an explanation.

[thecomicsnexus]

JLA / AVENGERS SEPTEMBER - DECEMBER 2003 BY KURT BUSIEK, GEORGE PEREZ AND TOM SMITH

SYNOPSIS (FROM MARVEL DATABASE)

Krona, an exiled Oan villain from another Universe who has gained the powers of entropy, begins destroying entire universes in his obsession to find out how they are created. The Grandmaster, an alien who is obsessed with games, offers to give Krona the knowledge he seeks but only if he can beat him in a game. The game consists of forcing the Avengers and their heroic counterparts, The Justice League of America, from that Universe's Earth to battle each other in a race to find twelve items of incredible power that have been hidden around their worlds. With help from Metron of the other Universe, the heroes are tricked into participating. Krona is given the side of the Avengers and Grandmaster is given the side of the JLA.

When Batman and Captain America discover this, Captain America allows the game to end with a victory for the JLA, but Krona refuses to accept this and uses his powers to steal the knowledge directly from the Grandmaster's mind. In turn, the Grandmaster uses the power of the twelve artifacts to merge the two universes, trapping Krona at their center. However, this results in a chaotic world, and Krona begins to cause the universes to collapse, since he now knows that universal creation comes from destruction. The Avengers and the League join forces to stop him, aided by many other members from both teams' pasts (brought together by wild changes in time).

In the end, Krona is turned into a "cosmic egg" from which a universe would be born in a trillion years. The two universes return to normal, with everything that Krona destroyed being recreated as well (this would have consequences for the Anti-Matter Universe, as seen in a further Justice League adventure).

CONTEXT (FROM WIKIPEDIA)

In 1979, DC and Marvel agreed to co-publish a crossover series involving the two teams, to be written by Gerry Conway and drawn by George Pérez. The plot of the original crossover was a time travel story involving Marvel's Kang the Conqueror and DC's Lord of Time. Writer/editor Roy Thomas was hired to script the book, based on Conway's plot, and although work had begun on the series in 1981 (Pérez had penciled 21 pages by mid-1983) and it was scheduled for publication in May 1983, editorial disputes - reportedly instigated by Marvel Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter - prevented the story from being completed. The failure of the JLA/Avengers book also caused the cancellation of a planned sequel to the 1982 The Uncanny X-Men and The New Teen Titans crossover.

An agreement was reached between the two companies in 2002, with a new story to be written by Kurt Busiek and drawn by George Pérez. In a joint panel at WonderCon 2000, Busiek (then writer of the Avengers title) and Mark Waid (then writer of the JLA title) stated they had nearly come to an agreement to begin the crossover within the regular issues of the respective titles but the two companies could not come to a business arrangement. When the series was approved, however, Waid was unavailable due to an exclusive commitment with company CrossGen, and Busiek became the sole writer on the project. Perez also had an exclusive commitment with CrossGen, but had a clause written into his contract allowing him to do the series if and when it was approved.

INTERVIEW (FROM SYFY)

Kurt Busiek: I don't know if this is actual irony, but it's a coincidence at least, so it's the Alanis Morissette version of irony. One of my last jobs as a fan journalist, when I was working on a news magazine about comics, was to do an article announcing what was going to be the 1984 book. This was back in 1981 or 1982. I didn't know much about what was in it at that time, but over the years as it fell apart, there were interviews that were done about it where everybody kind of shouted at each other.

The problem with the first one was really a matter of personality clash. Dick's style of editing was "let's just get moving and we'll fix it along the way." Dick Giordano, as a long, long time award-winning inker, didn't believe there was any comic book you couldn't fix in the inks. And Jim Shooter was a very intellectually driven writer, who wanted it all in the outline. If it wasn't in the outline, it was wrong. So Dick was like "Yeah okay we have a plot, and maybe bits of it that don't make sense but we'll fix it as we go along" And Jim was like, "no, you can't start until you have an outline that works."

The final tally on work produced on JLA/Avengers '84: one fully plotted issue that may or may not have been approved, 21 pages of penciled artwork, and a litany of memos back and forth between Giordano and Shooter detailing which of their respective editorial teams were not at fault. After management changes at both companies, new crossovers between Marvel and DC characters to began to hit the stands.

Between 1994 and 1999, the companies would collaborate on 11 standalone stories featuring the likes of Spider-Man, Batman, the New Gods, Galactus, Superman, the Silver Surfer, Captain America and dozens more characters from each companies' respective library. They also put out Marvel vs. DC, a four-issue mini-series that was more like a battle royale pitting iconic characters against one another, with the outcomes voted on by gleeful fans.

It took another change in management to get the original JLA/Avengers idea rolling again.

Tom Brevoort: I was intimately involved in getting this crossover to happen. At the time, Joe Quesada had been installed as Marvel's new EIC and he was working through a program he referred to as "unfinished business": creator relationships that had fallen on hard times, projects that had never been completed as a result of some difficulty or another, that sort of thing. And so, at a given point, he asked me why the JLA/Avengers project hadn't happened back in the day. I gave him a rundown, and he said, "Okay, go make it happen."

I checked with our contracts people about the particulars of the overall deal for the Marvel/DC crossovers, and I discovered something: the deal called for each company to produce an equal number of books, but at that moment, DC had done four more than Marvel had. So that gave me some bargaining leverage.

I don't know what the decision-making process was like on DC's end — for Marvel, that was the whole of it. We did all meet once or twice to hash out some of the business aspects, agree upon the length and the creative team, as well as the publishing rights to the collection. That went to DC, as Marvel didn't have a machine in place at that moment to do collections—something else that Joe Q was instrumental in building.

So as the wheels were set in motion to get JLA/Avengers started, the talent currently working on both books were becoming aware this project might suddenly have new life.

Busiek: When things were fine between Marvel and DC, we heard about it and that there might be a possibility. I was writing Avengers while Mark Waid was writing Justice League and we came up with elaborate plans to do a JLA/Avengers #1, and then have the story appear in the next six issues of Avengers and JLA. Then there'd be a finale in JLA/Avengers #2 where we'd write our halves of it and we'd co-write the bookends. Ultimately Marvel and DC didn't want to do that because they didn't want to have any issues of the Avengers that they couldn't reprint because they were subject to a co-publishing deal.

An unlikely player then got involved: an upstart comic book company called CrossGen, which was founded in 1998 by Mark Alessi. Determined to make a huge first splash, they offered exclusive contracts to many of the industry's most talented creative talent. Two of the creators who chose to take Alessi up on his offer were Waid and Pérez.

Busiek: I was still on Avengers, while Mark left DC to go to CrossGen. There was no new writer on JLA. Mark was finished, or at least on the way out. I was the only guy left standing and they offered it to me and I thought, well gee, that sounds nice.

Brevoort: We also had to work around George's situation. At the time, he had finished his run on Avengers for me, and joined CrossGen as a staff artist. But he had a clause inserted into his contract that stated that, if an Avengers/JLA project ever happened, that he would be free to do it. So we needed to negotiate a little bit with Mark Alessi in order to work out the timing and make this happen, because the book was going to take George a year and a half to draw, since he wanted to ink it as well, which is a long time to have a key artist off the boards. And this is why we announced the project at the Orlando Megacon, a show which at that time was affiliated with CrossGen — it was their hometown show.

Stephen Wacker: I believe I only found out that it was finalized just a couple days before the 2001 Megacon where it was announced.

Brevoort: George was a no-brainer based on his connection with the original, aborted JLA/Avengers project from 1984. And I think DC wanted to be in the Kurt Busiek business, and saw this as a way to begin to establish a relationship.

The next step was hammering out the logistics of this event.

Brevoort: In all honesty, it wasn't too difficult. We had made arrangements to stay down in Florida an extra day following the Megacon announcement, and so myself, Dan Raspler from DC, Kurt and George sat around talking through the project and the story. Kurt already had a bunch of the pieces for what he wanted to do, and we very quickly all agreed that we weren't going to approach this from a company vs company standpoint where we'd be counting character appearances or worrying about who "looked better" or not.

We were just going to build a story that worked for us, like any other story — it just happened to star characters from two separate companies. Thereafter, there was a snowstorm that blanketed New York, and so Kurt and I rented a car and drove for 26 hours straight up the coast to get back to New York, and during that time we had plenty of further weary discussions about the project.

Wacker: We had some lunches which were friendly but the bulk of the work was done in email. And there were thousands. You could probably fill three omnibuses with them!

Busiek: I wanted to do a bigger project. The original idea to do it back in '84 was a 40-page book and I had impressed upon Tom a number of times, let's go bigger than that. Marvel versus DC and other projects that had been done as multi-issue projects. At one point, they came back to me with wanting to do three prestige format comics. I said, let's do four, because there are two publishers and you can't split three books into two publishers.

Wacker: I recall there was some worry that this was really just Marvel's Avengers creative team handling something that was supposed to be half DC. On the other hand, Kurt had co-written a Wonder Woman mini as well as a Red Tornado mini that only I bought in 1985, so I was on his team!

Busiek: I came up with the idea of having Marvel issues be called JLA/Avengers and the DC issues Avengers/JLA, because that way nobody seems more important. And more to the point I thought JLA/Avengers had a better rhythm than Avengers/JLA.

They also wanted a more ambitious story than had been done before.

Brevoort: The key idea was to not just do a typical fight between characters as had been done before, but to really delve into what made the Marvel Universe and the DC Universe different — to point out the stuff that each company did differently.

Busiek: I didn't want it to a story that just said, hey, here's the JLA, here's the Avengers. They team up, they fight somebody. They win, nothing happens that isn't on a pure superhero level. I said I want something deeper and that turned out to be exploring the differences between the two universes.

There's a reason why DC characters and Marvel characters don't just cross the dimensional gulfs — other than ownership — and team up all the time. It's because they're different places with different styles and even different physical laws. And I made the point along the way that the DC earth is slightly larger than Marvel earth because it's got more fake countries and fake cities to fit in.

Wacker: I know there was a lot of anger from fans about who could beat who, but I was always a believer that any character could win against any other character given the right set of circumstances.

Busiek: We wanted to get into the idea that, that the Marvel Universe is a place where heroes struggle and the DC Universe is a place where heroes are lionized. Superman is everybody's big brother, and The Flash is the pride of Central City. Even in Gotham city, Batman may be a scary guy, but he's THEIR scary guy. In New York City, Spiderman's a scary guy, but he's just a scary guy. Marvel has a lot more of a sense of the superhuman as dangerous. Whereas with DC, it's traditionally neatly divided into hero and villain.

Brevoort: That idea permeated throughout the plot and the series, including the one sequence that we couldn't make work to our satisfaction in issue #3 wherein we postulated what the Marvel characters would have been like had they been created in the DC Universe and vice versa. That failure led to the situation that broke the story, as it turns out.

While somehow making the heroes work together was crucial, they didn't ignore the villains, either.

Busiek: Tom and I were talking about what could be done and I had cooked up the idea that we need to involve Krona and the Grandmaster, right from those early discussions. Tom and I said this doesn't need to be exactly balanced at all. If we have Krona vs. Grandmaster and we have Metron involved, we don't need to have another Marvel supervillain involved at the same level just so that everybody gets the same number of seconds of dance montage.

So they had an outline. Now they just needed a story. That story told over four issues ended up being starting with a cosmic scavenger hunt with Krona on one side, and the Grandmaster on the other. The JLA and Avengers wound up being used as the chess pieces in this high stakes quest to gather 12 objects of power from the Marvel and DC universe, including a Green Lantern power battery and the Spear of Destiny from the DCU, and the Cosmic Cube and Infinity gems Marvel.

The story begins with the present-day versions of both teams at the time — Cap, Iron Man, Thor, Quicksilver, Vision, Scarlet Witch, and Hawkeye squaring off against Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Aquaman, the Flash and Plastic Man — but through the course of the four issues would grow to touch on and contrast the full rosters of both squads.

The final issue ends with a knock-down, drag-out fight against Krona for the fate of both universes that is remembered by most (whether fondly or with scorn) for the image of Superman wielding Captain America's shield AND Thor's hammer during the battle. And in the end, Hawkeye (yes that Hawkeye) ends up winning the day for the heroes. Kurt's affinity for the character may have had had "something" to do with that.

It was an amazing four-issue run, but it didn't happen without its share of hiccups, as what goes on the page at times can pale in comparison to what it takes behind the scenes to put these projects together. often due to two completely different (and in DC's case shifting) editorial teams.

Busiek: I always got the impression that DC was looking over their editors shoulders on JLA/Avengers. That when I sent something to Tom and Dan Raspler for approval, approval came back from Tom 20 minutes later. He said this was fine, let's go. Dan read it. And I got approval back three days later because — they never said this, but I got the impression that it had to go up the chain and had to be seen by, Mike Carlin, by whoever was above him.

We had at least a lot of flexibility on the Marvel side since this was the Avengers creative team putting together the comic. Joe Quesada was not looking over Tom's shoulder. He would say "It's just going to say JLA/Avengers on it? It's going to have George Pérez art? It's gonna sell through the roof? I honestly don't care what Dr. Light does."

The main hiccup seems to have occurred around the story in the third issue.

Busiek: Issue four was difficult to do, no offense to anybody involved and I'm sure they were always all using their best judgment. But, the DC side of the process broke issue three. We had an outline. It had been approved by everybody. Issues three and four were originally intended pick up the merged Earths in 1983, and we see the teams that would have met in the original 1983 crossover. And then as time and reality collapsed and warped, they keep shifting to later versions. We would get to see the different forms that the JLA and the Avengers have taken, with multiple teams and such over the years.

We got told by the DC side of this, by Dan (Raspler) — I don't know how much of that was Dan and I don't know how much of it was people looking over Dan's shoulder — that no, we could not spend all this time in a JLA/Avengers crossover with Hal and Barry as a Green Lantern and the Flash. And the reason was that Hal and Barry were dead. They were never coming back. No one cared about them. It was Wally and Kyle Rayner. So spending too much time on Hal and Barry was just aiming it at the oldsters. And we needed to aim it at the younger fans so we had to pull apart issue three and put it together differently.

That meant that what was supposed to be a structured flow of time moved forward in a chaotic way. There just wasn't any structure anymore. It was just chaotic things as they're happening. And we tried to make as best an emotionally satisfying event out of it.

Brevoort: Mike Carlin — who was then DC's Executive Editor — and I got along very well, and were almost always on the same wavelength, which made coordinating and conceptualizing these crossovers relatively pain-free. Mike came on to edit the end of JLA/Avengers for DC, and that made things even easier. I kind of regret that he didn't come in just a few weeks sooner, as that was the point where the interaction happened that broke the back half of the story in my opinion, and that would almost certainly have been avoided had it been Mike at the helm at that moment.

Busiek: Issue #3 pretty much got reworked in ways that we weren't happy with. And issue #4 was kind of a mess because of that, but people seem to like it. So I guess we did it well enough. But yes, it was a lot of work at the last minute and I think we would've had a better book if we'd stuck with the original outline.

What no one had any regrets over was the work down by George Pérez

Busiek: We had close to 200 pages and we had George. When I started writing Avengers, George was the artist, and I asked do you know which Avengers do you want to use? And he said all of them. When JLA/Avengers comes along I said, well, which characters would you like to focus on? And I knew it was coming: George said "all of them." So everybody up to and including the Yaz showed up at least once.

Brevoort: We were able to schedule the series in such a way that George was able to ink as well as pencil every single page of it. I'm not 100% certain, but I'm pretty sure that it represents the largest body of work that George both penciled and inked himself.

Wacker: Dealing with George was without a doubt the highlight of the project. I couldn't believe my life had progressed in such a way that I now had his phone number! My favorite memory was a voicemail message from George that I kept for years. He was … shall we say very "frustrated" that none of the references for JLA's moon base were consistent. I geeked out at every minute of him yelling at me!

Brevoort: The one fannish thing I did insist on in our earliest story meetings — and it's something that nobody objected to — was that the Flash be the first character to breach the dimensional barrier between the DC Universe and the Marvel Universe, much as he was the first character to travel from Earth-1 to Earth-2. In my office, that sequence was referred to as "Tom's page", and in fact, I did buy the original art for that page from George when he put it up for sale after the event had seen print.

Busiek: George finished the cover to number three that had every JLA member ever and every Avenger and he wrecked his hand. The fourth issue was late because George had had tendonitis from drawing that, which was a huge complicated cover.

Brevoort: At a certain point, we needed to send the original artwork for the cover to issue #3 — the huge piece in which George had drawn every single Avenger and Justice leaguer — back to George. But my intern at the time had misunderstood our instructions and instead sent George back a full-sized Xerox.

I remember coming into the office in the morning and finding a message on my answering machine from George, and I've never before or since experienced him speaking so quickly and so breathlessly. He was afraid that the original art was either lost or destroyed, and he was half out-of-his-mind with concern. Upon looking into things, we worked out what had happened, and were able to calm things down and get it back to him.

Given the size of the superhero business now, with sprawling cinematic and television universes even more prominent to the general public than the comics source material, it would seem unlikely that these two companies would team up again. The fact that they're owned by two multinational conglomerates — Marvel is Disney property, while DC is owned by the freshly minted Time Warner/AT&T — as unlikely as Captain America and Superman becoming North Korean citizens.

Brevoort: Those were really the final days of both companies being "Mom & Pop" shops. Now, with both Marvel and DC being integrated multi-platform companies, the inter-mingling of competing IP is a much more complicated and complex situation, along with the fact that you wind up spending considerable resources on a project for which you only recoup half of the eventual profits (and that you cannot utilize across other lines of business beyond the publishing) make it a lot more difficult to justify. It's hard to justify both the allocation of resources and also the difficulties of navigating the politics between two competing corporate giants. So it's not impossible that it could never happen again, but the factors against it happening are considerable.

It would be nice, though, if we could get JLA/Avengers and the other Marvel/DC crossovers of the past back into print.

Busiek: We got to do JLA/Avengers. I had a lot of fun with it and a lot of people read it. They thought it was cool. So the fact that it didn't stay in print is disappointing to me, but it doesn't outweigh the fact that we got to do it in the first place.

Wacker: At the time Marvel was in the beginning of a cultural reawakening that would climax with the movie and TV studios getting built. DC was just starting to wake up as well and really start taking seriously the need to compete with Marvel.

REVIEW

You can get lost in those pages. So many characters and references (even to the original plot of the series). This is the most ambitious mini-series I can remember right now (Crisis on Infinite Earths did the same with just the DC Universe, but this incorporates everything post-Crisis, plus the Marvel Universe).

It’s just amazing. And it’s not just the art. For a crossover, the Krona story is very advanced, it has more in common with Crisis than, let’s say, Batman/Spider-man.

This is also the last crossover between DC and Marvel. The corporate culture at both companies changed too much to allow another of these events, and most importantly, once Marvel got out of their bankruptcy, they had no reasons to boost DC sales (this was usually the excuse to not do the crossovers, as Marvel has been dominated the market for decades).

I am kind of glad that the 1983 crossover failed. I don’t think it would have been as powerful as this.

There are some problems in the third chapter. And everyone knows that. The issue had to be rewritten and it just stops the pace of the story. You could kind of not read it and you would get the same story (minus some valuable exposition).

If you are going to buy this book, I recommend the one with the companion book, that includes interviews around the failed project, (plus penciled pages for that book), and an exhaustive index of all the characters, page by page.

I give this book a score of 8

[butteredonions]

get to know the author

Tagged by both @velkynkarma​ and @bosstoaster​ (and @sleepyhunk​, i saw that shout-out ;) you’re too kind <3 )

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

My best friend @itachitachi​ helped me come up with it! We were sitting in computer class in middle school, reading fic paying avid attention and creating new email addresses for the first time. “buttered onions” was a swear in one of the books we were reading at the time. Rebellious teenage onions latched on to the ridiculous sounding phrase with giddy glee. It stuck.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

In those categories, The Size Of Our Actions blows all of my fics out of the water.

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

It’s the same onion-icon as here. I chose it because my friend @gitwrecked​ doodled an onion for me as a joke, and I seized on it and she made it into an icon for me :) she has since made other onion icons for me and i love her.

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

Absolutely, and you know who you are. <3 The regulars are some of my absolute favorites, and even though I’ve been too busy to reply to comments lately, I see your consistency and my heart warms so much every time.

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

Yeah, and they’re all sick!fic. guilty pleasures leave me alone

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

47 work subscriptions, 9 series subscriptions, and 30 user subscriptions. 78 bookmarks. I use these things like candy.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

HA

hahahahahahaha

you’re funny

I do find myself coming back to three of those more often than all the rest, though.

The rest below the readmore!

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

179 user subscriptions, 902 work subscriptions, 1322 bookmarks. That’s pretty cool.

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

....sick!fic. still. I read so much of it because when it’s done well it’s so good I’m weak and I’m so scared of doing it wrong. There’s at least five sick!fic pieces I’ve started but never finished. I’m not afraid of being judged for it as much as I am afraid of trying and failing. 

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

Endings. I have ideas for how to wrap up all the pieces, but somehow I just can’t get there. It’s much easier to flit off to new ideas than it is to finish old ones.

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

I write gen most often :) beyond that I have one rarepair I write and one popular ship I’ve just started poking at, but honestly, still gen.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

34 works. Only 3 of them are active WIPs (with Incomplete markings), though there’s a handful in the AU series I would consider WIPs even though they’re currently posted as one-shots.

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

I’m assuming this question is asking about how many incomplete WIPs I have at the moment?

A lot.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

It varies. By and large, if I don’t write the idea down or yell it at a friend immediately, it’s gone, so that’s the habit I’ve found myself in for the sake of preservation. Sometimes I keep the juicy parts in my head and mull them over for a while. The really really good bits - sometimes if I write them down in an outline, they lose some of that flavor. It’s like “oh hey I wrote it already, so it’s done”, even though that’s not the case.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

Yep.

16. How did you discover AO3?

I thiiiink a friend recommended it to me as an alternative to ff.net.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

In my niche, I guess so, yeah. If you’re not into AUs or smol!Shiro or sometimes Uliro, though, then no.

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

No. You’re all great.

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

Yes. I read a ton of Mercedes Lackey books when I was younger, and her imagination and creativity inspired me to try my own. Since then I’ve discovered several excellent fic writers, some of whom I can now count among my closest friends. That’s been really, really cool.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

It’s cliché, but it’s the truest and best piece of writing advice I’ve ever been given.

Only you can make your words go.

To an intermediate author? Two things:

Get the words out. When writing, set that time aside as Writing Time and not as Editing Time. If you stop to edit, you’ll never finish writing. My trick for this is to [bracket] any word or phrase I know I’m going to need to look up later, and then keep going. Need to name a planet? “The characters landed at [planet] and then continued on.” Can’t remember the one specific adjective? “Shiro did [the thing] [with the adjective that meant this/this/this] and moved on.” It makes for a sloppy rough draft, but it’s always easier to fix what’s on the page than what’s still in your head. The point of the brackets is that I can get out the gist of what I want, fast, and easily find it again later when I feel more like fine-tuning. In the moment I have to worry about nothing but getting the words down.

Cut out your filter words. It’s hard at first but invaluable on the back end. And it makes such a difference! I was rereading an old fic yesterday that I distinctly remember as the first one where I made the conscious effort to remove the filter words, and I remember how hard it was to do that. I never finished editing it, and on the reread yesterday I was so surprised at how easily I could spot the filter words - so that’s a huge sign of progress to me. Hard, but worth it. 

Happy to provide further examples of both of those tips, just ask.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

Plot them out, absolutely. I have a handful that I’m winging for one reason or another and I feel so lost.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

Yeah. Not very often, but I’ve had a few. It’s part of the nature of putting things out there. So far they’ve been mild enough that I just kind of cock my head at them, eep a little, and move on. Everyone’s entitled to their opinions. 

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

Romance is really hard for me. :|

I also feel like I struggle with - not with Revelation scenes, but the scenes a few steps back from them, where the pieces are just starting to slot together but aren’t quite there yet. They’re tricky to lay out just right.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Oh god. Actively? Smol, Collision, and at least two of the AUs. Maybe three. Plus another surprise or so. And a long-overdue thing. And I also found my old Star Wars fic and was poking at that the last day or so. 

Eugh, I don’t know. Lately every time I sit down to settle on what to work on, I make up my mind and then flit away to a different idea instead. And then away from that one. I can’t settle and it’s frustrating.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

yes to the yes.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

I used to. Grad school has really pushed fic and writing to the backburner.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Yes, indefinitely. In same ways I think I’ve gone backwards, but overall there’s been incredible growth.

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

I have to PICK?!

I like all of my fics for different reasons. I love what The Size Of Our Actions is doing for me as a writer and for fandom. I love what Unafraid and First Steps did in terms of mixing narratives, styles, and two distinctly different types of canon. I love the pacing of Collision and can’t wait to get back to it.

Overall? The Throne In The Hall. for many reasons. it...fits me.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

There’s two I wrote in the last year that I ran out of time on, thanks to deadlines and life. I’m not as proud of the end results as I’d like to be, and so I’m not naming them.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

Still writing. Maybe with something published, though I’m going to get through school first.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

Dialogue and imagery.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Editing, sometimes. Letting something be Good Enough instead of Perfect. Endings.

33. Why do you write?

Corny as it is: because writing fulfills a part of my soul that I didn’t realize was missing until I stopped. I have to. 

Tagging: @ashinan, @andriseup, @paladinpuppypile, @flusteredkeith, @atimelordswife, anyone else I may have missed who would like to do this <3

[sometimesrosy]

Tagged by @tracylorde thank you! and i’m glad you’ve come over to the dark side of writing fanfic too.

1. what is your most popular fic by kudos? comments? bookmarks? are they all the same?

kudos Proof Canon AU fake marriage where Bellamy and Clarke must marry to secure an alliance. This one has a lot to do with Clarke helping Bellamy recover from his trauma and learn to believe that he deserves love and happiness. Not slow burn. They get busy right away. And it causes problems.

comments Got You A series of interlinked story prompts set in canon AU after season 3. No second apocalypse. It’s mainly about how Bellamy is helping Clarke recover from her trauma and stop being afraid to love. Slow burn. A bit of angst in there that I think is why the comments are tops. Everyone freaked out. It was awesome.

bookmarks: The Air Is Fine Up Here This is an Ark AU set 5 years after the show, but in a world where The Ark’s air system is fine. It’s the political environment that is destructive. Second children are not illegal they are just shunned. Clarke is a doctor with an illegal clinic in Factory, and she meets Bellamy because he is doing gladiator fights to earn money to support Octavia. It’s pretty plot heavy. It was nominated for a best Ark AU on bellarke fanfiction awards a couple years back, so it was my most popular for a long time, but the others have caught up.

2. do you have a favorite of your fics? if not, do you have one you’re most proud of? why?

Coming Home, which is a modern AU with a divorced Clarke and professor Bellamy, where she comes back to her college town and discovers who she is again surrounded by her friends. So it’s got some themes of the show. I wanted to think about what kind of “apocalypse” would be that devastating in the real world. So I made it this kind of divorce/abuse thing. But it’s not about the divorce, it’s all about the recovery. So it’s not personal at all. (okay it is. although it’s still entirely fictional, not a memoir in the slightest.) I’m also really proud of the bit of humor in this. 

3. what fandom/ship (if you write for more than one) is your favorite to write for?

The 100 Bellarke

4. do you have any fics that got more popularity/attention than you expected? if so what were they?

Contracting and Expanding, this weird little child birth fic that I wrote because I was frustrated that women and girls don’t seem to understand what childbirth is really like. Like it’s this kind of open secret, and it’s so romanticized sometimes. I added a second chapter to wrap it up over a year later. I’ve never really understood why it is one of my most popular one shots. 

5. where do you get your ideas/inspiration from? do you have a fic that you feel is particularly unique in that area?

I have a WAY different path to fanfiction than most of you. It wasn’t a thing when I was a kid. There was no internet. I started writing fantasy and science fiction when i was 15, but it was all original because I didn’t know of this concept. And there was certainly no community for it. Nowadays I think writers build their chops with fanfiction, explore, experiment. When I got to fanfiction, I’d already been through that stage and was taking my writing SO SERIOUSLY. Fanfiction let me get the fun back, and lowered the artificially high stakes that I had created in my head. Writing is so psychological and the writing process is basically a writer fighting the demons in their head in order to get words on a page. Fanfiction was like a big FU to my demons, because I was going to enjoy writing again.

Most of my writing inspiration comes out of my history, my reading, my curiosity, my questions. Me. I’ve been such a Fantasy/Scifi geek for so long though, that a lot of it is based on that. Fanfiction, though, allowed me to write general fiction, without the pretension of literary fiction, which going to school for English/Creative Writing had conned me into thinking was the only deserving writing (screw you academia.) Ha. I actually wrote about Clarke as a professor and Bellamy as a student in Academic. Be aware, I was not an academic. I got out of college and started waiting tables so I could be a writer/artist. Ha. Like in The Arkadias/Just Having Fun Clarke/Bellamy povs for the same story. Okay. So my inspiration either comes out my real life or out of my scifi/fantasy reading. Or wish fulfillment and my love of fake marriage tropes ala The Carriage House.

6. do you have a favorite character to write POV for?

honestly it alternates between Bellamy and Clarke. I suppose I might have more from Clarke’s pov. I’ve never checked.

7. what’s your favorite sidepairing to include?

Raven and Wells maybe. I don’t do too many side pairings. I’m more into the platonic friendships.

8. do you have a fic you feel is underrated in comparison to your other fics? or you just wish more people would read?

Maybe Moonshine. Because I turned it into an original novel that I’m still working on and I really like it, but I can’t blame anyone because I left it unfinished it when I decided to adapt it. But it’s like a preview of my novel.

9. what’s something you would go back and change in one of your fics?

I think I did go back and change an Echo ex Bellamy girlfriend to Gina. 

Oh wait. I would have made everyone older in The Valley, part 1. It started out as a soulmate HS witches AU, but I tried to explain the sharing skin marks and it got pretty dark and very sexual. It’s the most sexual of all my fics, and I think it’s a little icky that she’s only 18. I like the concept but the HS thing was a mistake. Just like I don’t think I should try for writing smut, I also don’t think I should try for YA fic. I’m just not a YA writer. Or maybe it was the wrong story to try on. I had to drop that story. It went down a path that was more complicated than anticipated.

10. what is your favorite sort of comment to receive on a fic?

It’s kind of cool when people take quotes from the work and talk about what they meant or how they affected them.

11. what are your favorite genres of fic to write? (e.g. modern au, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, etc.)

oh, sometimes I feel the need for Modern AU fluff ( a lot actually) but my favorite is probably Science Fiction, like not post apocalyptic, but space.

12. what are your favorite tropes to write?

Hands down, fake marriage/dating. Canon AU. Modern AU. Space AU. I’ve got a fake marriage for all. I’ve got a MULTI FIC fake marriage for all. And I’m not sorry.

13. do you write fics similar to what you enjoy reading or completely different? both?

The science fiction and the canon au is similar to what I used to enjoy reading IRL. But I’m in a phase of reading very gentle fiction. Fluff and easy reading. Comfort reading, so what I mainly read in my fanfiction is modern AU fluff fics.

14. what’s your writing process like?

My fic writing is a lot less planned out that my original novel writing. Probably because I already have the characters straight in my head and if I’m doing canon, I have the world too. 

So what happens is I get an idea that excites me. It starts spinning around in my head and I want to see what would happen if I put Clarke and Bellamy in that world. Sometimes I have an idea about where it ends up. Sometimes I don’t have any idea (except for Bellamy and Clarke always get together, but i may not know how.)

Then I go with the inspiration and write furiously for however long. When I’m posting a chapter every day or three? That’s this phase. Then I hit a snag. I’ve run out of inspiration or doubts have infiltrated my story or I don’t know where the plot goes next or life has gotten messy and ruined my focus, or maybe the story just got complicated and I need to work out the snag. My pace slows down. I start taking on other projects, writing or otherwise. I figure out the snag and work my way back into the story (or occasionally) I decide that story is either too complicated and drop it, or I decide that I’ve actually finished the story and need to wrap it up. 

15. multi-chapter, oneshot, or drabble?

Multi-chap. At heart, I’m a novelist and I have a hard time not thinking about how the tropes got to be the way they were in the story, so I build a world around them and create things to make them more logical or deal with cause and effect. And I also have a hard time leaving short stories the way they are, without continuing with what comes next. Sometimes when I read one shots or drabbles, I really don’t understand how the fic writers can simply not write what comes next. How do you keep yourself from continuing? My urge is to keep exploring the characters, story and world. I have finished multichaps that I could keep going with, but I have moved on to other stories.

16. if someone was only going to read one of your fics, which would you want them to read?

That’s a hard one. I think each one has something different to offer and I like them all. I put so much effort into the multichaps so I’m going to stick with one of those and pick the one I’m writing right now. Into Eden. It’s a space colonist AU and is turning out to be my longest fic ever and I think I’d count it as a novel. It will have a beginning, middle and an end, and there’s quite a bit of world building and conflict. It’s a fake marriage/mail order bride where Bellamy is the bride. If I can take a trope and put my personal spin on it so it’s a unique story, that’s what I’ll do. And that’s what I am trying to do here.

i’m really bad at tagging and this is why i don’t often do these things. it gives me anxiety so I’m only tagging a couple and if i missed you and you want to do it, please pretend that I tagged you because I actually want to hear EVERYONE do this. I think this stuff is interesting and it’s always good to think about your writing and your process. @mareebrittenford @marauders-groupie @the-ships-to-rule-them-all 

for ease, the questions are copied blank, after the jump. (good idea kat)

1. what is your most popular fic by kudos? comments? bookmarks? are they all the same?

2. do you have a favorite of your fics? if not, do you have one you’re most proud of? why?

3. what fandom/ship (if you write for more than one) is your favorite to write for?

4. do you have any fics that got more popularity/attention than you expected? if so what were they?

5. where do you get your ideas/inspiration from? do you have a fic that you feel is particularly unique in that area?

6. do you have a favorite character to write POV for?

7. what’s your favorite sidepairing to include?

8. do you have a fic you feel is underrated in comparison to your other fics? or you just wish more people would read?

9. what’s something you would go back and change in one of your fics?

10. what is your favorite sort of comment to receive on a fic?

11. what are your favorite genres of fic to write? (e.g. modern au, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, etc.)

12. what are your favorite tropes to write?

13. do you write fics similar to what you enjoy reading or completely different? both?

14. what’s your writing process like?

15. multi-chapter, oneshot, or drabble?

16. if someone was only going to read one of your fics, which would you want them to read?