#how many more people have to suffer?
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oliskyesisdaddy · 7 months ago
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how tf have we traveled to space and made artificial human-like intelligence, but we, as a species, have not figured out a way to cure cancer?!?! can we please put our resources back towards that! i'm sick of losing people
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sevenines · 2 months ago
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i saw this tweet and found it interesting for two reasons. one is that some people base how good cartoon network would be to toh by how it treated su, and despite the fact that su’s treatment by the network was considered poor at the time, now its thought to be exceptionally good in comparison to modern shows.
two is how exactly su got impacted by a limited budget. a common criticism is how characters like connie, peridot, and lapis are left out of missions. but balancing a lot of characters is not only hard but also costly (extra animation, extra voices—it’s been revealed that the show is limited to a set number of characters per episode otherwise they’re over budget). animation mistakes are not uncommon since retakes cost extra. the entire reason the original show got cut short was due to loss of funding!
#i don’t know if pay rates differ per networks#but a.ivi and s.urrashu have said that they needed to work outside of su in order to make sufficient funds#it only makes me wonder what other ways su suffered from a lower budget#that we as the audience never got to see#in the vein of the too-little characters complaint#another part of that is that low-stakes episodes should’ve been abt the main cast instead of the townies#like last one out of beach city and too short to ride vs restaurant wars and kiki’s pizza delivery service#i definitely see that especially since that isn’t budget related#nor would it seem to be network related (even if cn had an ‘episodic episodes’ quota it could still be abt the gems#(another side note: /would/ cn even have a requirement that the show make episodes that can be watched standalone?#this is a question for the people who were around when su was airing#what episodes often got rerun?#was it the townie eps or the lore eps?#for example i heard that su once did a ‘peridot event’ where they just reran peridot episodes#which had eps that skip around in the show#did they even care about airing the story so that it made sense anyways?#id get it if the low stakes townie episodes were the ones getting rerun))#but i have such a boring view on that which is i think it’s simply because the creators like townie eps#like in interviews r.ebecca s.ugar has said she’s the type to be really invested in background characters#answers in interviews have been crafted in ways to hide what’s really going on though tbf#prime example of this is rebecca and ian saying the wedding being interrupted was meant to follow the common trope#when later in the art book they said that it was bc cn rejected the ep bc it ‘wasn’t interesting enough’#both could simultaneously be true! it’s a psychology thing though where people make up nice-sounding explanations behind what they create#in retrospect because they want it to be thought out in such a nice way they believe in it#the bigger problem is that not matter how many episodes there are of them#it can be hard for ppl to be invested in the townies the same way they are invested in the main cast#i’m sure that a million writers have made surefire advice on how to get an audience to care about characters#but off the top of my head i think it’s because 1. most don’t have strong motivations to get truly invested in#(exception is ronaldo but people find him too annoying to care about him)#okay i had more points and explanations but i hit the tag limit and idk if anyone is actually reading this so bye
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shortnotsweet · 1 year ago
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[ “SOMEBODY TOLD ME”]:
BREAKING MY BACK JUST TO KNOW YOUR NAME. SEVENTEEN TRACKS AND I’VE HAD IT WITH THIS GAME. A BREAKIN’ MY BACK JUST TO KNOW YOUR NAME—BUT HEAVEN AIN’T CLOSE IN A PLACE LIKE THIS.
— The Killers, Hot Fuss (2004)
Princess Rhaenyra’s insolence is wearing her stepmother’s patience thin. Queen Alicent is not ten years her senior, but even during her own sixteenth year, she cannot recall herself behaving so brazenly. She would never burst into courtly discussions in nothing but gilded armor and the underskirts of her riding leathers, awash in blood. (She would never be spotted in blood that was not her own, anyway. Alicent has never picked up a sword, not one that belonged to her.) Nevermind that Rhaenyra is attending to diplomatic affairs with bared teeth and scales, no—the crux of the matter is just that, her affairs. Rhaenyra is the Realm’s Delight, a beauty incomparable to any fair maiden, Alicent included. She indulges herself with appetite of a spoiled child, the confidence of man, and the pickings befitting only to her royal blood. Criston Cole. Daemon Targaryen. Harwin Strong. Laena Velaryon. She’s full of love, isn’t she? That selfish, foolish girl. What does Rhaenyra Targaryen know of love, of duty? She is a child in so many ways—she thinks killing makes her a man, thinks the throne is hers despite being a woman, thinks she can have her knight and her uncle and her protector and Laena Velaryon in one fail swoop. She’s wrong. She doesn’t know herself half as well as Alicent does. Alicent, who sees her for what she truly is, who wants to see all of her and more of her and none of her. Alicent has been stolen into the Keep by her own father—both of their fathers—but Rhaenyra is the key to this place, is the window to everything barred. Rhaenyra Targaryen has a dragon. Rhaenyra can fly.
That’s what Rhaenyra had promised her once, with her lips pulled back in a grin, exposing the white of her teeth like the violently radiant creature she was. “Perhaps when you grow tired of plotting against me, we shall ride on dragonback together,” she had said. The tease.
Alicent had yanked her into an empty corridor by the silk of her sleeve, ready to chastise her for her ill behavior. Conversing with the lords and ladies of the court at a feast was one thing, but chattering about her bloody encounters in battle over the pudding tureen were another. The lord at her elbow was going green. Alicent’s own face was likely red; her heart raced whenever Rhaenyra got like this. Alicent had never seen the battlefield—only seen battered men in dented armor and the slumps of corpses lined along dirt roads in the aftermath of war—but her own imagination terrified her like nothing else.
(Rhaenyra is better with a sword than half of the knights in Westeros, and more lovely than the lot. Her reign has not yet begun, but already the commoners flock to her—lured in by tales of her beauty and fine hair—and soldiers would follow her into battle. Alicent would not follow, but she would watch and bite her nails down to the quick.
She thinks of the figure Rhaenyra cuts in full armor, the heat in her gaze underneath the slots of her helmet. Alicent remembers the weight of her own hand in Rhaenyra’s—which was gloved—when the princess rode up to the spectators box and grasped it in her own, bringing Alicent’s knuckles to her lips. She thinks of Rhaenyra murdered in the sky, skewered with another man’s sword, plummeting to the ground, torn in half, streaking crimson across the clouds. Alicent would scream, or cry. She might laugh. She would throw herself from the window of her tower. Rhaenyra’s bloody exploits terrified Alicent for reasons she could not identify, and excited her for reasons she refused to.)
“I’d sooner be confined to the castle for the rest of my days than get on the back of that bloody lizard,” Alicent scoffed. Rhaenyra only tucked her hand over Alicent’s, where it was resting on her forearm. She flexed her fingers, moving to release her grip on the dark fabric, but Rhaenyra intertwined their fingers and held them fast.
“You’re confined already. You are already accustomed to such a thing. I know you. But—”
“But you forget yourself. You think you’re invulnerable, Rhaenyra. You don’t know who you are.” Alicent intends for it to be a sneer, but instead it comes out quietly, and too gentle for disdain. She can’t know. Rhaenyra is as trapped as she is, but they’re trapped together. They belong together. She belongs with Alicent.
“I am Rhaenyra Targaryen, Heir to the Iron Throne and all of Westeros. I am a dragonrider. I am—I am your daughter. In a way. Your sister, too. Your enemy. Your sword, your shield.”
“And what am I?” What else is left for me? Alicent wonders.
“My Queen. For now.” Rhaenyra cocks her head, and the gleam in her eyes burns like fire raining down. “When I am Queen, you will be my lady.”
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waterlinkedgirl · 20 days ago
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Musical Touken Ranbu: Michinooku ~ Hitotsu Hachisu (Michinooku ~ A Single Lotus)
Here we go! Only a few days after the archive release and toumyu's ninth anniversary (congratulations!)
Michioku, or Michihasu, is a myu I have many conflicting feelings about, both positive and negative. However, I do believe that with the right amount of care in the next Mika-related story myu, the negative can still be cleared. Plus, I'm glad about a lot of things being re-established. The writer does need to step up her game a little on the plot-writing side of things, as well as the understanding-and-respecting-past-myu side of things, but as long as she does, this can still be given a proper place within what was already established.
Keep in mind that these are only the subtitle files, timed and tled to the DMM senshuuraku and the bluray respectively. The archive version will have a talk at the start, so the starting times of the subs will have to be delayed accordingly.
You can find the subtitles and my TL notes document here!
#touken ranbu#toumyu#water's translations#michioku#michihasu#how do I put this#seeing as myu's director Kayano has said in an interview right before Michioku that Kogi and Mika have a special bond#different from other swords-- and then they try to speedrun *Tsuru* and Mika having a what feels like it was intended to be#even greater relationship using a song called Kage Futatsu where KOGI'S signature song from Utaawase was Futatsu no Kage???#I SINCERELY want to believe it's incompetence rather than the writer deliberately pulling the rug from under Kogi's feet#bc the alternative is just cruel#I don't particularly mind the relationship Mika and Tsuru have in this play but I feel that not for a moment Kogi and kara respectively#were considered in the writing#anyway my final verdict is that this myu is what too many people think tsuwa is: the divorce myu (between Mika and Tsuru this time)#in all cases I hope myu can bring Shirakawa Yuki in again like with Datemyu just to offload myu's already deathly busy writer (she's done#5 myus in a month before which is just insane) because I feel this just isn't sustainable with the amount of carefulness a long-running#franchise like myu demands and the *writing* quality (not the production quality AT ALL Michioku's is great) is suffering for it.#like sure Michioku is loaded with references but they're references that either don't serve *Michioku's own* plot or their treatment shows#a lack of understanding of the work it's referencing-- for example Kashuu calling upon atsu's “This is how the shinsengumi fights!” actuall#goes completely contrary to the lesson he's supposed to have learned from atsuibun: that swords aren't disposable and that he has duties as#both soldier (captain in atsu) and as COMRADE and he makes the (already highlighted in Michioku!) dumb decision of butting in without#thinking-- and with that framed against manba's breaking trauma as well! He's supposed to have learned to stay rational and consider both#duties yet here he is ---BECAUSE of the reference--- completely leaning on the pre-atsu-development side of the scale#as if Ishi's words went one ear in one ear out. And yes the scene by itself could've worked as a subversion to show Kashuu makes the#'irrational' decision against what Ishi taught him to consider precisely because he cares for the people he's protecting but there is NO#groundwork laid at all for that in the rest of Michioku! This is what I mean with the carelessness of the references and the lack of#consideration for what prior myus were trying to SAY and ACHIEVE which is insane because she was the lyricist for those#it's more a collage of feelings provided through a set of characters calling back to the scripts of prior myu rather than#a story that evokes feelings bc the humans in it walk forward and act upon-- interact with-- the scenery on the road as left by prior human
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dykedvonte · 8 months ago
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Ulysses obsession with the Courier is a special type of sad to me cause the Courier’s part was so important but so unwitting. They had no idea what was in the package they delivered and neither did he. Neither had an idea of what it could’ve done and the Courier was only caring out their job (mind you the Courier could be killed via notes in the express contract if they don’t). To them it was just another regular delivery to the divide and one that they likely thought would help, just like all the ones before.
It’s so tragic for Ulysses to hold so much ire to the Courier when it really was the case of it could’ve been anyone. Anyone could have delivered that package but they did and so he focused the blame on them and it destroys what he is trying to instill in the courier on a fundamental level.
#like yeah the courier delivered the package but in the end that’s a job#any random courier could’ve delivered it especially since we know in the past the factions were farther apart and this travel was a smidge#safer but courier six got it and this Ulysses blamed them#like I don’t care much for Ulysses because I think lonesome road embodies don’t shoot the messenger at it core#and what people focus on doesn’t focus on the fact that in the bigger picture#everything went wrong because two factions were at war and at some point the codes would have been delivered#and the divide destroyed cause with how close it is to NCR territory it would of been found#like there is an inevitable and too many people treat Ulysses as if he knows more or is more aware of the idiosyncrasies of conflict#when he’s like fundamentally flawed just at the standard of being a legion apologist STILL and just how focused he is on one persons#involvement cause yeah choices matter even the small one but I think Veronica’s quest says it best with a line from the courier#you can’t control what they do#like the courier couldn’t and can’t control what they deliver and yet it’s got them in hot water multiple times#like do you think they enjoy being shot or knowing they are indirectly responsible for activating the annihilation of a community#to me it’s hypocrisy to be willing to end the world or one world to prove a point and whatever argument made that only military factions#suffer forget there are innocent civilians suffering that had no part and Ulysses is no better than the Courier#I don’t like devils advocate and a lot of the dlc just feels like that but idk I know people love it but the depth is just not there for mr#ulysses fnv#fallout#fallout new vegas#courier six#the courier#lonesome road#the courier has very little personality outside what we give them but some lines and delivery paint a picture#like uhhhh undertale deltarune rules ig
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trash-gremlin · 7 months ago
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could you imagine how good spirit animals would be if it wasn't written as a children's series
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littencloud9 · 4 months ago
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bsd fandom has always mischaracterised kunikida to hell and back but the fact that i am seeing SO MUCH hate for his character right after his 'death' is insane
#'kunikida is a boring character' 'dazai doesnt even like kunikida' 'kunikida has never suffered through trauma' DO U HEAR YOURSELF...#on one hand yeah studio bones butchering ln1 so bad will always be a main source of the misinterpretations#but EVEN THENNN you dont HAVE to read ln1 to get it. you just need to use your brain!!!!!#i dont care if you dislike kunikida or dislike knkdz or whatever. you can have your own opinion#but dont make up bullshit reasons for why you dont like them??????#and also ship wars are so stupid if i see ONE MORE POST comparing skk and knkdz's partnerships#which while have some good parallels#are ultimately not the same#then i will FIND YOU#skk and knkdz involve dazai in two very different stages of his life and you cant compare them#'oh this is healthier. oh this is more interesting. oh this partnership carries more weight. oh--' SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR FIVE SECONDS#LET PEOPLE LIVEEEEE#sorry for being petty but ive gone seven years without a knkdz manga interaction and so many skk shippers still wanna whine about how their#ship is better or whatever. like you already own so much content. so much of the fandom is skk tunnel visioned#why are you threatened by other shippers just having fun. calm the fuck DOWN#and also STOP PUTTING YOUR BASELESS HATE IN THE KNKDZ TAG I DONT WANNA SEE ITTTT#tag it as anti or whatever but dont shove your hate into the ship tag lol thats just basic etiquette#ok sorry im done now goodbye#this went from being annoyed at bad knkd takes to stupid knkdz hate but. those always seem to come together#smiles through the pain#bsd spoilers#sorry forgor to tag that
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thepoisonroom · 7 months ago
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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asurrogateblog · 2 months ago
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The Syd Poll
the topic of this poll is one that is frequently avoided in the pink floyd fandom, but inevitably one we all consider – our individual views on what we think caused syd's psychological struggles (and by extension, led to his departure from the band). I think that – at least in this neighborhood of tumblr – this is a conversation we are capable of having in a way that is civil, nuanced, and at least minimally disrespectful to syd.
So, to help facilitate this, here are some ground rules:
let's all assume we have a mutual understanding of the complexities of this. syd could never actually be reduced down to a poll, and all of our viewpoints are limited in various ways
the poll options just serve as just a conversation starter, and responses are not necessarily a statement of absolute beliefs
feel free to discuss as much or as little of your own perspective as you feel comfortable sharing.
in the case that debates break out, please try to assume good intent – and also demonstrate it (unless, for instance, someone is being blatantly insulting beyond a misunderstanding that needs correcting)
please do NOT vote if you are not actually a pink floyd fan with at least basic knowledge about what we're talking about here.
The options I've included below are not meant to be exhaustive, they are simply the "theories" that I have seen most commonly circulated. I have also decided not to include combinations. I'm fairly sure we'd all agree multiple factors were involved. Rather than make the poll too complicated, I ask you to instead select the one that you think is the "most" important to your viewpoint, and clarify further in your tags/comments as you wish.
so. here we go.
READ BEFORE VOTING ^^^^
(note of correction: "late-onset schizophrenia" should just be "schizophrenia". the typical timeline for onset of symptoms is late adolescence/early adulthood, so syd would've been well within that period at the time)
#pink floyd#syd barrett#//#I will sacrifice myself and go first with way too much detail. hopefully it will help other people feel more comfortable talking#I chose consensual use of psychedelics. mainly bc I am fairly certain that he suffered from severe hppd#it stands for 'hallucinogen persisting perception disorder' –speaking crudely its 'did too much acid and got stuck like that'#I do NOT expect this kind of oversharing from anyone else but the reason I think that is because -I- definitely have that#its comparatively mild but I notice a lot of the same kind of impacts.#I'm more prone to dissociation and overstimulation. it takes more mental energy to communicate. my perception plays a bit fast and loose.#(again. it's not -that- bad. and NO pity for me this was a completely predictable outcome that I DO think is a little funny) but digressing#I can clearly see how if those symptoms were significantly escalated it would be just like what was described by ppl who knew syd#I think its very unkind to refer to him as a “drug casualty”#but I'm fairly confident anyone who's done acid would say by about hour 8 of the trip “okay. yah. too much of this could do that to someone#in other words –although I'm pretty sure syd was also neurodivergent– I do think its at least possible that the lsd couldve been enough#I'm happy to talk more about any of this in asks/dms if anyone wants. genuinely very cool with discussing it#but anyway. that's my take – obviously based entirely on anecdotal evidence tho so take that with as many grains of salt as you wish
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zaddyazula · 5 months ago
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obviously i love strangelove’s character but she wasn’t written well… as a woman or as a lesbian…
#i wonder whose fault that is!#yes they did a “good” job with the queer parts of her character (partly)#like her love and admiration for the boss and how she was flawed#but do we remember the tape with paz? when she was unnecessarily portrayed as being predatory?#yes paz was technically 24 but they all thought she was 14 so it doesn’t make a difference#there was literally no reason to portray a canonically lesbian character that way.#they did it at other times as well with her giving cecile private baths#like they seem to have went out of their way to make her seem predatory as many times as possible#yes parts of her character could be argued to have been written well. i’m not denying that.#but unfortunately she suffers from being a woman in metal gear! and then suffers even more by being canonically queer#also this may just be my memory but i think in peace walker you could go onto her model in documents or something and she had a model in a#bikini. like 😐#no woman in metal gear is written as well as the male characters are. and that is because of kojima being a fucking weirdo#so it does slightly annoy me when people choose to ignore that and acclaim the writers for being so “inclusive” or whatever other bollocks#because they weren’t. they were weird about queer characters in all the games.#and i’m talking CANON queer characters. because i’m very sorry but only a small minority of mg characters are canonically queer#and because everyone lives in mgs-queerland people assume because snake doesn’t get written horribly despite not being explicitly portrayed#as queer they think that canonically queer characters get the same treatment and they don’t#this is sort of the thing with raiden and raikov as well#in a slightly different way but the same vein#and i love headcanoning mgs characters as lgbtq+! i really do and i do it all the time but unfortunately it is not canon (for the most part#that’s enough of my rant for now#mgs#strangelove#strangelove mgs#mgspw#metal gear solid#metal gear solid peace walker#zad talks
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contagious-watermelon · 4 months ago
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tomboy trans girls ily <3 by the law of equivalent exchange, there's got to be a masculine trans woman out there that i switched places with gender-wise. hope she's doing well
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arandomferretsthoughts · 4 months ago
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Alright, so I was thinking about my last post (I suggest you read that first for context) and I remembered that one episode of Justice Legue, "Legends" where the team ends up in universe that was a comic in their universe, because somehow there was just enough of a leak between them for someone to know what was happening and mistake it for their own ideas.
So anyways, what if Bruce's lonely writings were like that, and instead of dying like I had previously said, Bruce just goes missing and is declared dead.
And he wakes up in a parallel world, just like his wrightings described.
Okay, so for some reason or another, maybe while Batmans "dead" someone tries to bring him back, or another time someone tries to summon The Batman, or something, but no matter what's the reason, they somehow get the wrong Bruce.
Instead of batman or Brucie Wayne (which is what i will be calling Batman Bruce), they get Mr. introverted, paranoid, anxious, writer Bruce.
Who is now very scared and confused, waking up in a very different version of his city.
He manages to run (or they think they got the wrong guys and dump him) and ends up on the streets of Gotham. He, upon seeing that he's still in his city, starts going home, not a lot different, some buildings here or there, but he doesn't go out much so that's pretty normal for him.
Until one of the Bats or Birds spot him. (I think Tim cus he's the one Bruce knew best back home)
They see Bruce (who may or may not be supposedly dead), at least it looks like him, but Bruce walks different, holds himself differnt. He's weary, almost afraid looking, if that were something he could possibly look, and they're sure whoever this is is not their Bruce.
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goldiipond · 9 months ago
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the word terrorist has lost pretty much all meaning to me because 90% of the time a white person says that word its used as a shorthand for 'nonwhite people resisting oppression'
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that-foul-legacy-lover · 2 months ago
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today just will not let me rest huh. reasons are in the tags but i get very emotional just be warned
#hush n shush wifi#just a tad sad#actually more like angry as shit#okay let me TELL YALL about my day#first: the annoying#i was going shopping at a grocery warehouse and you know how those parking lots are always super crowded?#well it was. there were no parking spots and there were so many cars and people trying to go everywhere#i scraped my wheels too which is fine but one of my relatives who likes cars acts like it's a sin#so that shook me up enough that i didn't go outside for the rest of the day#and THEN#OHHHH AND FUCKING THEN.#if anyone remembers the absolute ass of a person from last year who i thought was my friend but said horrible things to me out of the blue#WELL THEY CAME BACK#i never got a chance to block them initially because they blocked me first#BUT I GOT FUCKING MESSAGES FROM THEM TONIGHT#AND ALL THEY WERE SAYING WAS ESSENTIALLY THAT THEY MEANT WHAT THEY SAID#they said some bullshit about the execution being wrong and that their ex wrote it for them#which by the way is just scummy on its own#and that they get mad emotionally which is a horrible excuse#and had the AUDACITY TO ASK IF I HAD ANY QUESTIONS#IN WHAT DELUDED SELF CENTERED WORLD DO YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN TO THINK I WOULD EVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN#my trust is a VERY VERY FRAGILE THING#AND THIS IS A VERY LARGE CONTRIBUTOR TO IT#this isn't an apology. they regret none of it#this is a way for them to make themself feel better#the scariest part is that this person by now is almost/IS an adult#which is terrifying if that means there are more people like that out there#i try not to wish ill will but i genuinely hope no one ever has to suffer through being their 'friend' ever again#anyways they're blocked on all of my platforms now.#if the person is somehow reading this. hi! never talk to me again. you're a horrible human being with no consideration for other's feelings
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autisticlee · 6 months ago
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sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)
but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!
so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"
....
my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!
SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!
#mind you this was over 10 years ago now. it *could* have gotten better but id be extremely shocked if it has#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#school#school problems#yes i know theres rules or maybe even laws for this and its why they are like this but its bad and should change#if they offered smaller classes with less sensory overloading bullshit and other things i needed it would be great!#but they refuse to accommodate your actual needs and make up useless accommodations to legally say they help disabilities#ND people (not just audhd) and other disabled people that graduate with no useful accommodations are so strong and cool. proud of you!#ones who had to drop you youre also cool for not dealing with their bullshit snd allowing yourself to not suffer for a sheet of paper!#(though i know it can feel bad when everyone around you makes you feel bad for needed to drop out or failing out and not going back)#i completely stopped going to my psychology class because i started a week late due to scheduling issues and#suddenly we are told theres a paper due in 3 days and need to hse the textbook i didnt have yet as the source for it all#and it was in the syllabus i didnt get because i was a week late and didnt know we got one. the professor didnt notice me out of#the 100 other students in that large lecture hall. that room was also a sensory nightmare hellscape#too many students made things noisy and distracting. multiple fluorescent lights were flickering constantly and never fixed#the professor used a mic to speak to us and it had a constant horrible loud buzzing. it did that loud mic screech noise randomly#without warning. all the time. the quality of the sound was horrible so it was hard to understand her. on top of that she had a very thick#accent i wasnt familiar with so that on top of the horrible buzzing mkc quality that also cut her out constantly was auditory processing#disorder HELL. I dont know how ANYONE survived thst class but i seemed to be the only one struggling. everyone else turned in their papers#and i gave up and stopped going. was too late to drop the class to get my money back so i wasted probably a few thousand dollars#and THATS what i mean by give me reasonable and useful accommodation. test time would NOT make that class better at all#fix the mic and light issues at least or give me a smaller class with more attentive professor or something!#offer smaller classes for struggling disabled people! if the issue is not knowing who needs them then offer a switch to those struggling!#i got called onto a dean/counselor meeting because a professor noticed my horrible grades and stuff so its possible to catch us and help!#THESE SCHOOLS JUST NEED TO START BEING WILLING TO. dont make us do all the work to accommodate ourselves and expect to do well in school!
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martyrbat · 1 year ago
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detective comics #509
[ID: Bruce Wayne sleeping in his penthouse, his eyes squeezed shut as the narration reads, ‘Gordon's strained laugh sounds hollow, but it echos in the Batman's mind... and haunts his dreams...” Bruce awakens to a hand on his shoulder and before he can think, he's twisting it and holding it down. The panel expands, revealing the hand belongs to Alfred as he's almost toppling over! He cries out, “M-master Bruce—my arm!” as Bruce groggily realizes who it is. He lets go at once as Alfred moves to the end of the bed and holds his arm while stammering an apology, “S-sorry, s-sir... Sorry if I startled you.” Bruce looks at him with aghast as he cries out, “My god, Alfred—I almost broke your arm!” Alfred reasons, “You must have been having a nightmare, sir.” as Bruce sits up and puts his face in his hands. He weepily dismisses, “A nightmare—what kind of an excuse is that? Old friend... forgive me...” Alfred reassures, “Nothing to forgive, sir. Just bad nerves, sir.” END ID]
#THIS ONE !!!!#bruce and his neverending guilt complex#just immediately regretful and so apologetic as alfred is quick to reassure and dismiss it#holding his arm because of fucking course it still hurts but when bruce lifts his head he stops ....#always thinking of how he was a caretaker for bruce since he was a small child/infant and how many little things bruce does now will remind#alfred of those days#he likes his grilled cheese q certain way. he cries if he thinks he hurt someone. he blames himself for a lot. he gets bad nightmares#like so much has stayed the same as so much continues to change but the love and care thry have for each other is always there#(<- guy who is always number one in bruce is disabled and needs a caretaker but also in how the people around him know bruce loves and cares#about them. its not about not being loved its about how heavy his love is and how bruce will subconsciously use his love to harm himself#(from blaming himself to his parents murders and jason's future death to something as simple as this and how he'll beat himself up#for hurting alfred and not able to protect him as well from himself)#(like his mental illness is forever using his stupid bleeding heart against himself as a reason for why hes awful)#this is all fully sidetracked im just fucking wired today sorry lol#but while im talking and something more related to the panel itself::#after this line bruce looks up and says ‘the batman suffering from bad nerves? lets hope not. gordon can worry about the election but i#cannot afford to. still its not just the campaign. lately so many other things are pressuring me—mostly as bruce wayne’#and like !!!!#it wasn't about batman! it wasnt about his burdens and responsibilities!! alfred was telling HIM. BRUCE. that its okay#and bruce automatically ‘its not because batman cant behave like this’ like !!!!#batman is the priority in the sense of he thinks he needs it to protect people. even his family even alfred and every single stranger#he won't ever allow himself any grace even while sleeping because batman cannot afford those ‘slips’#just GOD 70s/80s batman makes me insane for forever and ever amen#c: detective comics | i: 509#crypt's panels#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#alfred & bruce#‘awake or asleep—it scarcely matters anymore. the nightmare never seems to end.’#<- nightmare bruce tag <333
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