#how is it 1 am i should sleep
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autism is all fun and games unti;l the urge strikes you (at 1am) to go and completely 100% achievements (all 49 of em) from a worthless piece of ggarblge $50 overpricesd piece of shit quality game with a very small number of characters witth enough redeeming qualitys for my low low standards. and also create a guide for each and every one. and get all the endings et cetera et cetera... augh. this is about inescapable no rules no recsue btw and dont worry ill wait until its on sale for a (comparitively) obscenely low price. im not gonna blow $50 of good money on this piece of fuck
#inescapable no rules no rescue#right after i got attached to the visual design of like 1/2 characters i saw the price tag. SAD. well theres other games#forreal thiugj. why of all games this.??]#disappointed emoji (on compute so i gorget howt o tpe it )#ginore they typos the cpmputer keyes are not good for mt hands aim at hte moment because they (the fingers) are cold .'#i feel like i have 5 frozen fishsticjs on each hand in place of my fingers#this got off topic#anyways gee golly fucking gosh oh what am i to do?? how could i possibly play this $50 game for free???#certainly i would never turn to piracy#as that is auhhhhh illegal and bad. ahaha#how is it 1 am i should sleep#good night!
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you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier
#xmen#mcu#xmen movies#xmen first class#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#todays schedule has been ruined by my ever occurring need to practice drawing movie charles its horrendous#i started this sheet last night but then i kept adding to it and i keep wanting to add to it but i MUST stop myself#in an ideal world i get paid to draw charles xavier and erik lehnsherr but no i live in this baka society#sleepless charles WAS inspired by me starting this at 1AM and forcing myself to sleep at 4AM#and then here i am picking i up still later .... i need professional help i fear but i aint got time for that#NEVERTHELESS I THINK IT GOT IT NOW. I THINK IM OK. i think i know how i wanna go bout drawing him now ...#chat can i confess that like. .5% of the reason i barely draw FC charles i because of his hair#for some reason some demonic entity prevents me from drawing it easily i am in STRUGGLE CITY#the only thing that gets me is that whenever i draw him i can only think of the likes of a disney prince but man thems the strokes ig#i also drew a quick dark phoenix charles but i figured id just keep this first class oriented#anything else i want to say ? uh. hm. its funny i never do any of these sheets for erik#genuinely On My Life made One (1) sheet and was like 'no yeah i got it. i got it down'#literally not my fault his head is So Shaped and defined but anyways. this aint about him.#i mean it could be. i still wanna do a doodle page concentrated on drawing how his powers show#more specifically how do i wanna draw the glow cause i cant decide on it ... also i wanna draw the 'levels' ...#but thats for another time. for right now i should probably eat i havent eaten all day#bye bye !!!!!! here's to hoping i draw something thats not a doodle sheet one of these days
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2024 Azerbaijan Grand Prix - Oscar Piastri(pt. 2)
#can you tell how happy i am??? how joyful?????#THE GOLDEN CONFETTI#FOR OUR GOLDEN BOY!!!!!!#i was like nahhhh gifing that mark thing was enough#but then i saw the confetti and was just.........#THE WAY ITS STICKING TO HIM#MY GOLDEN BOYYYYYYYY#or rather i should say#MARK'S GOLDEN BOY!!!!!!!!!!#HIS BOY!!!!!!!!!!!#but wow the golden confetti i feel fucking unhinged#its so funny cause ive only had 2 hrs of sleep but i feel SOOOO awake rn#f1#formula 1#oscar piastri#we do a little bit of f1#2024 azerbaijan gp#2024 azerbaijan grand prix#op81
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Ruby could’ve been SO FUN. I love character’s whose importance comes not from themselves or their family but from the circumstances they find themselves in and the people they surround themselves with. Ruby being important and powerful because of the importance people put on her, because of how she met the doctor would’ve been interesting.
Making Ruby inherently entwined with Christmas because it’s the day she was born, because everyone says she is, making the music in her soul a famous Christmas song because everyone thinks that’s what it should be would’ve been interesting.
Ruby’s important coming from the doctor and her mom, and everyone else who has put that importance on her, would be interesting.
If they had worked that angle from the start. Don’t make her birth a mystery and if you do don’t hype it up so much, make her importance slowly gain traction throughout the story until she IS powerful and important, make something happen to make her so, make it happen because the doctor, this new face, so regretful of yaz not knowing anything about them(yes I found a way to work her into this) they infodump immediately, this new face that latches to the first person he sees, a blonde 19 year old, a 19 year old putting themselves in danger for others, vowing to change the past, to not hurt this one.
Make is happen because he begs the universe for the past to stop repeating and for once the universe allows it to. Let 15’s love and trauma influence how Ruby is perceived, let it influence the world around them to inflate her importance until it’s true. Let Ruby be in danger and for the doctor’s feelings, the regret and hurt and love and hope, influence the universe enough for Ruby to BECOME what everyone is saying she is.
#doctor who#new who#15th doctor#fifteenth doctor#ruby sunday#let her be fun#let her be gay#ramblings#it’s 1 am#I should sleep#but Dr who#dr who#series 14#anti rtd#how do you take such an interesting character and kill it#by being bad#that’s how
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Catch me gripping the universe with my bare hands. What do u mean u listen to intent and follow the spirit of the request to the best of your ability and don't monkey's paw the wording. What are you, kind??
#THIS IS JOKING#THIS IS LIGHT HEARTED#listen. i am used to divinity and adjacent entities taking things word for word#im used to loopholes in wording and poking holes in contracts#im used to fine print and conditions and all that gab#so sif going “oh i just wanna be there when bon reunites with their sis” or whatever#GETTING HIM STUCK IN A TIME LOOP BECAUSE THE DESIRE WAS TO STAY WITH EVERYONE ELSE#isat spoilers#before i forget#HAS ME SJBEKFJEBRKXUBENSHSVDBJFYDHSN#LIKE. UNIVERSE TOOK THE WORDS AND READ BETWEEN THE LINES#WHO DOES THAG#SOMEONE THAT CARES???#someone that wants to do right by someone even if theyll never know?#and loop-- dont get me started on that bitch#loop just wanted someone they could relate to#someone to understand them#and the universe really said “what if it was you but before you became you”#fucked up#i cant get the universe's angle#its clumsy and vauge#it tries to be precise i think#but things smear and blur together#theres nuance it must navigate#i dont know how it does#oh fuck this is long#uh#wish.txt#in stars and time#its 1 am i should sleep
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do NOT have a best friend because you WILL be trying to sleep and then they will text you some of the cutest shit on earth and then you will be so busy thinking about it that sleep gets too hard >:(
#my heart is too full of love how am i supposed to sleep like this smh#have i mentioned how much i love my best friend?#because i love them#So#SO SOMUCH#they are actually the person of all time ever#the sweetest thing on the entire planet#im so exhausted been SO busy the past few days#and was SO prepared to sleep#i was like NOTHING cans top me from sleeping when i finally got to go to bed#but i was WRONG#one (1) thing can stop me from sleeping#and it’s being baffled and amazed by how much i love my absolute favorite person in the world😤#they’re crazy best friends should be illegal like what are ghey so nice and perfect and cute for
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confession time this is my favorite brush to do quick and messyyyyy drawings with
#käärijä#khaarija#it's also the brush i use for cornpea kä but that's neither here or there#point is i like this brush a lot#also oop how the f is it 1 am already shit i should not stay up much longer and fuck up my sleeping schedule any more than i already have 💀#the of calendar content is NOT good for my ability to be a functional human being 😂
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They got tired of getting pushed over the edge because the bed was made for one and not 3 big adult men, so they dismantled the frame and put two mattresses together on the ground.
So now instead of the one on the side falling, it's the one in the middle getting swallowed when the mattresses inevitably part. They're not that smart. But at least they don't hurt themselves by falling now.
#cod mw2#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#gary roach sanderson#captain john price#kyle gaz garrick#how is that ship called?#ghostsoaproach#?#hehe 'gopro' like the camera cause ghoapro#it should be acknowledged that while my sense of humour has always been catastrophic#i am now also severely sleep deprived so i reject any responsibility#price being like 'step 1 : ???' 'step 2 : ignore'#as long as no one's hurt it's not his problem#it's better for his own mental health#the scribbling on ghost's arm in most of my drawings is his tattoo btw#i'm not actually drawing it like ever#that's for my mental health#but the scribbles on roach's arms are burns
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This weekend wasn't enough I need 2 more T.T
#1 to do all the work i still have not been able to do and 1 to unwind from doing all the stuff#No really how has anyone else managed to do all this? Have they halfassed all this? Maybe i should ask :l#But like. I know this woman. This is the hrm woman i was complaining about like 2 semesters ago. This woman makes the worst paper in the#World. Thinking nah ill make up my grade in the paper is the road to retaking this course. You have to make up in assignments what you know#She'll take away in the exam#Sigh#3 complete sadists this semester :l 3! And one actually really brilliant prof who is notorious for giving awful grades but whatever shes#Good i like her. And the other 2 are good :) but these 3! Need to find new jobs somewhere else PLEASE!#For the sake of whatever dredges of sanity i have left#Actually 3 weekends would be nicer. I need to sleep#Oh wait what am i on about everyone else is probably using chatgpt#Right#Ok
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you still resent nancy and jonathan for getting together???? for “hurting steve’s feelings”??? despite the fact that he verbally supported their relationship like 2 hours after seeing them together. this from a season that released 6 fucking years ago. a season prior to him saying that he was NOT in love with nancy anymore. do you want me to call shawn levy and tell him of your dilemma. bestie do you need to rewatch the source material
#ppl will use ANY excuse to hate nancy and jonathan to prop steve* up#their flanderised ‘pwecious little babygirl’ steve who is a delicate little flower who’s still butthurt over his high school breakup#albeit s4 did completely surrender to this bs characterisation bc the duffers don’t know how to write a storyline for steve that doesn’t#involve him being a lovestruck loser nowadays. SAD#get me in that writers room i could give him something good thats not egregiously repetitive#funny that the post that sparked this was an ANTI MURRAY FANFIC?????? in 2023. bc him suggesting jon+nancy should be together was unfair to#fuckin STEVE??????#1) murray is literally a jokey funnyguy character. he’s a little guy it’s his birthday he makes risotto studies martial arts is a conspiracy#theorist who daydrinks and snores on airplanes. he’s SO unserious#if u want to hate on him thats fine good for u whatever but do it for. normal reasons. like encouraging teenagers to drink and have sex in#his bunker. like he was not normal for that i get it i used to kinda dislike him for that too but like. its literally not meant 2 be#that big of a deal. nothing matters there’s no point the show hasn’t been genuinely good for six years nothing matters go outside go to bed#anyways. happy 3 AM everyone im going to sleep love and what have you on planet earth#stranger things#nancy wheeler#steve harrington#jonathan byers#mine
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so you know how I've been talking about the Kazuha Demon Slayer crossover for ages now?
Hahahaha
Chapter 1 is out :)
#ahjskdkhjf#drops this and runs#I will be honest!!! I dont think I characterized sanemi very well lmao#he's the exact kind of character I don't know how to write! Like selectively respectful and doesn't give a shit otherwise#and also like extremely angry and driven and such! I am much more used to writing quiet pensive more rational characters I think#I had to rewrite this first chapter like 3 times because I couldn't figure out how to get Sanemi and Kazuha to mesh together very well#Like neither of them are particularly trusting on first meeting someone especially with added suspicion from both sides#and I still have like. no idea how to actually write grief which greatly complicates writing this#because it's meant to be an exploration of Kazuha's grief through the lens of other demon slayer characters#oh well if people don't like it I suppose it was still good practice on writing#It is 1 AM and I am Letting Anxiety Get the Better of Me#and I have to wake up at 8 tomorrow so I should go sleep#ok bye
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i just realized most mlm ships in fandoms tend to hate on the woman who one of them previously dated bc "she's in the way of their relationship" even though most of the time the woman did nothing. but. the byler fandom with el hopper just like. CARES. a lot. and it warms my heart how even though el isn't in the relationship, HER arc and HER thoughts & feelings and wants are being considered and not just hated on bc of the mlm ship.
#byler#el hopper byers#el hopper#also its so ironic how byler shippers care abt her more than the macaronis#anyways its 1:30 am i should sleep#berry's shitposts
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something doesn't feel quite right
#arc.png#bg3#oc: lan#astarion#astalan#tav x astarion#i restarted lan's save. again. idk how many times this is now#i restarted because i downloaded the party limit remover mod#and let me tell you i am having SO MUCH FUN......#the game feels so much more alive now it's wild#that all said it means i have to live through these idiots' angst era again#that delightful mid-act 1 time where they're sleeping together but astarion doesn't really care yet#and lan (who is a full on charisma build proficient in insight and persuasion and such) SHOULD be picking up on it#but he's so absolutely rattled by things like meeting mayrina and seeing waukeen's rest and learning all his friends' fucked up backstories#that he just. doesn't. he does not acknowledge the weird vibes.#so they're both acting like they're having a great time on the surface. but the second they think the other can't see them. well#(also side note that from now on it's lan with one n. it was formerly lann but that extra n has always bothered me)#(i think i was trying to avoid confusion with HSR lan but at this point i don't fucking care i hate that extra letter ksdhgdks he's lan.)#(ALSO FUN FACT I FEEL LIKE I FORGOT HOW TO DRAW. this is the first thing i've drawn in. too long.)#(was genuinely surprised i managed it tbqh. i kinda just blacked out while the spirit of gay video game men possessed me and made me draw.)#(gonna... try to figure out how i did it and see if i can make art again... i miss it orz)
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...
#oh lads. its not looking good for my genomics exam on Thursday. its all fucked#i dunno. its just been a weird day. bc one of my lab mates is getting ready to go to the astr0biology science conference#and its just so wild how i got here. into the perfect position. i have a great advisor. a great phd project. a committee member who is super#integrated with n4sa astr0biology projects. and so many of the instructors are amazing. my genomics prof is terrifyingly smart#so is my advisor and his wife. and the program is great. ecology and Evolution. its perfect. its all perfect#and yet. and yet. it just feels like its all falling apart. ive lost that compulsive thing thats always set in my chest#and now all i want to do is lay on the floor and cry and sleep and not do anything. why am i so tired?#its just so frustrating. and im sure ive got the most wretched vibes bc im constantly like 1 comment away from bursting into tears#like 2 weeks and its done. then im off to find a summer job. and find a long term job. and consider throwing away everything ive ever worked#toward. just let it all burn. im so tired. and i dont get to see my therapist until Monday. thats gonna b fun#hi. hello. since last i saw you my life has crumbled into pieces. ugh. i just dont wanna fail this genomics exam but it looks like that's#where we're headed. maybe i should have just dipped out of these last 3 weeks. but no. i didnt want to leave the lady i ta for 100 lab#reports to unexpectedly have to grade 4 days before grades are due. ugh. itll b fine. i mean it wont but whatever#unrelated
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dear gods i adore horror tbh but i am way too sensitive to it
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#idk how to describe 'sensitive' rn i'm dying in the head i should be asleep but Man!!!!!#i search up tons of horror stuff for funsies. movies uhh creepypastas stories real life events etc. fun!#BUT it freaks me out wayyy too much. bcs i really don't deal well w Those feelings of paranoia.#my imagination too good i was scared at night going to sleep bcs i'd imagine what to do if an intruder came in from the bedroom door#or bathroom door and think of how i'd escape Death.........#Did Not Help my area before was kinda yk. chillax. chillax meaning grassy tree-sy backyard overgrown trees#old-ish in a filipino chill neighborhood that isn't very fancy ?????? idk.#and the fact one time my dad almost died and someone standing close to him Did die so. haha. traumatized from that.#I WASN'T THERE..... but i rmbr my dad coming home and the news absolutely terrified me. anyway!#wow... rambling on tumblr at 3 and a half am... Nostalgic.#anyway yeah i love love love horror stuff but i am !!! so bad w them !!! like jesus christ i adore resident evil and bloodborne#is my whole bloodline. or something. but i can't even watch my twin kill 1 zombie in a re game Demo (she can't do it either)#and i can only make it to killing the first monster in bloodborne and explore a tiny bit where there are still no enemies. god.#AAAGGGGHHHhhhh ... and the first point of horror in omori then i stop playing for months...... even tho i rlly wna play more :((#2024 ........ cmon... i will try to overcome my fears more.#i've improved somewhat at least! ...from when i was younger. like. man. i could never stay in night-time in games ever.#ffxv? nah i always have to travel at morning. only when i got strong enough that daemons were nothing to me did i stop#getting scared. ouuughhh... and i always try to be stealthy in games........... for many reasons ofc but 1. Scared#okay i shut up now. apollo rambles of tonight: done and over!
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I am having the most normal day ever. Not normal as in normal for me, but normal as in for the average person. Ok so I was allowed to skip school today because school is short because of the election and there was no homework or anything, so I slept in, I ate breakfast, I took a shower, I cleaned my room, and did other productive stuff like that and like this all feels so normal? Like usually I don’t sleep well on school days and I don’t have time to shower in the mornings or eat breakfast and I’m usually very lazy and stuff but I’ve done all those things and this feels like an average guy day? Like the type of day that would happen in like a movie or like the type of day you’re supposed to have if that makes any sense? Idk I just feel so jarringly different today and it’s like wow I’m living like a normal guy should? This is so weird to me but it feels like a normal thing and idk how to explain it very well but like this is so strange I’m going to eat lunch and get ahead on my homework all productive-like and just wow I’m having an eerily normal person day???
#sorry to anyone not having a normal day I understand why that would be the case#hope everyone is doing as best as they can be#I just felt like sharing how weirdly normal my day feels this isn’t meant to like flex on anybody or anything 😭#Like wtf I’m cleaning my room and stuff instead of lazing around#this is probably because I slept properly and ate properly I should take better care of myself more often#not that I take horrible care of myself I usually get like 5-7 hours of sleep and eat 1-2 meals a day + snacks#just in case anybody is worried or anything I promise I am not like sleep deprived or starved#personal#not as in secretive but like this is just about my day so far#I am overthinking this post way too damn much bruh I need to just post it#ramble#long post#rope/spider post
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