#how in the world do you have time for that?’
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I always love Evil Religions Of Evil because at some point you have to imagine them as actual religions
Like, sure, we want to slaughter the world for our dark patron below but also when's the next big Chaos God festival and do people complain it's been overly secularised? How does the Cult of Cthulhu do weddings? Is there a cheesy youth pastor giving a bad rap about the Neverborn? Are there cultural Bhaalists?
I'm just saying, these religions tend to have huge congregations and massive temples, so it can't be all murder all the time, you know? At some point someone's going to have to do an Evil Bake Sale to pay to fix the Evil Church's Evil Roof.
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𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
Spencer gets a bad bout of amnesia. Or, your boyfriend forgets he’s your boyfriend, but he still has a crush on you. [3k]
c: fem, bombshell!reader, head injury, hospitals, amnesia, fluff, spencer can’t believe he bagged you, requested here
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚⋆
Spencer wakes to an empty room.
He lays on a pillow too flat, neck twinging, the back of his eyes throbbing when he moves.
He struggles to breathe through his nose and lets his mouth open for a few achy breaths, his mouth dry like he’s been sucking on cotton balls.
Spencer’s alarmed, without a clue what it is he’s done. He wonders where Gideon is, if the older man has come to see him yet. He hopes somebody told his mom he’s okay.
Maybe Hotch will come. He and Hotch have grown closer while Gideon was on his mandated recovery time; Gideon spends far less time in the office, sticking to lectures, seminars and consults, while Hotch, Morgan and Spencer handle the away cases. Spencer might go as far as to say Hotch likes him. And Morgan can tolerate him now, less grudging when Spencer offers a random fact or statistic to further the case.
A stab of pain at the back of his head makes itself known sharply.
Spencer doesn’t want to move, but he needs to assess things. He frowns at his arms, naked as they are. His silver watch is missing. A t-shirt that he doesn’t remember buying stretches over his chest. What state are they in, and who dressed him?
He’s scowling at the window with it’s wide-open blinds and all the sun when the door opens.
You’re looking at the bags on your arm as you come in. Spencer startles in his blankets —what are you doing here? Agent L/N, Morgan’s friend and a candidate for the open position on the BAU team. You’re from the Sex Crimes Unit, like Greenaway.
Spencer flusters every time he sees you, not just because of how kind you’d been the first time you met, or even the easy flirtation you send his way when you cross paths. It’s because you’re the prettiest woman he’s ever seen. He’s not talking about the golden ratio or statistical beauty, you’re just stunning. You stop him in his tracks whenever you steal into the office. It’s better when you notice he’s awake and light up like he’s the winning numbers for tonight’s lottery pull. Everything about you illuminates.
“Hey, babe!” you say, not not yelling as you drop your bags in the seat by the bed and reach for him.
He doesn’t think to move away as you take his face into your hands.
“I’m so glad you’re finally awake, you almost slept for the full twenty four hours.” Your hands are soft. They smell like neroli. When you stroke his cheek and lean down to give him a chaste peck, he almost passes out there and then. “It's a good thing, obviously,” you say, and then kiss him again distractedly. Spencer squeezes his eyes closed. “You heal more when you’re asleep. Or so I’ve heard.”
You pull away, Spencer blinking for his life. You have such a nice mouth, but Spencer’s never thought about what it might feel like on his. He doesn’t have the audacity: in what world would you ever kiss him? That’s the joke, right, when you flirt with him in the office?
“How are you feeling?” you ask, losing some of your pep. “How’s your head, handsome? You know, there are easier ways to get a haircut.”
“They cut my hair?” he croaks.
“Shaved it at the back to stitch you up. Not much, don’t worry. They were pushing for a buzz cut but I put my foot down on that one,” you joke. You nudge his legs aside without worrying about sitting on him as you get comfortable. “It’s not much. You can’t tell.”
“I…”
“You feeling okay?” you ask softly. Your nice mouth purses. Your eyebrows pinch. They’re cute eyebrows.
“You look different than the last time I saw you.”
He doesn’t mean to say it aloud. He’s noticing things now. You’re wearing less powder under your eyes than you used to. You seem to have gained a little weight, and you look good. You didn’t look bad before, but this is different. Your hair isn’t too different, nor your brows, but you’ve begun lining your lips in a new way. Your blush is a subtler hue. Spencer doesn’t claim to know everything about you, but he can say that you look neatly the same each time you visit. Why the sudden change?
“It’s hard to sleep when your favourite person in the world gets his head cut open,” you say, taking his hand where he’d left it loose in the blankets.
Your fingers slip into his with ease.
“Can I tell you something?” he asks, attempting to swallow his nerves.
“Of course you can.”
He licks his lips. “Uh, I think I’m confused. I don’t– I don’t remember what happened, and…”
“Oh, right. They told me this might happen.” You draw yourself up with a breath. He’s fascinated by the movement, an air of heat around him as you begin rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb. “You got hit in the back of the head with a cinder block, honey. Went down like a lead balloon.” You turn your face to show your cheek. “We’re even now on good scares, yeah?”
You have a scar on your face he’d missed, carefully concealed but yet not invisible. Your hand in his feels so alien he holds it wrong, fingers twined but palms apart.
“What happened to you?” he asks.
Your brow crinkles. You go very still. “My cheek?” you ask.
“What…”
“Spencer, what’s the last thing you can remember, honey?” you ask, all the horror in the world to be found in your eyes.
“Uh…” He feels sick to his stomach.
“Spencer?”
Without having to be told, you slip off of the bed with two taps of your shoes and reach for the bedpan, thrusting it into his lap.
His mouth fills with spit. “I’m fine,” he says.
“No, I don’t think so. Let me get a doctor.”
“Wait,” he says, clutching the bedpan and pushing his wave of nausea as far down as he can. “Please don’t go.”
“My face was months ago, honey. I got hit in the face with a hammer by a UnSub, you don’t remember?” you ask incredulously.
“Why do you keep calling me honey?” he asks. He knows the answer, but it’s not computing.
Your face drains of any happiness. “I’m going to get a doctor,” you say, shoulders rigidly tight as you exit the room, leaving Spencer in your wake wishing he’d just pretended he knew who you were, just until you kissed him again.
—
“And he really can’t remember you at all?” Morgan asks.
You’re a little less startled than you had been, and you’re trying not to punish poor Spencer, but realising your boyfriend forgot years of flirting, and yearning, and friendship —years of kissing in secret and otherwise, years of holding hands, and staying at each other’s places to get that extra time together, even if it was just getting to sleep in the same bed between cases— was a slap.
“He remembers me,” you say, leg crossed over the other, arm over the railing of Spencer’s bed to hold his hand. “He just doesn’t remember a thing after Gideon came back, after Boston.”
“I remember when you had hair,” Spencer says to Derek.
Derek glares at him, “This Spencer doesn’t get to sass me.”
“But I do eventually?”
“How come you’re holding hands if he doesn’t know who you are?” Derek asks pointedly.
You shrug. “We talked about it, didn’t we?” you ask Spencer, who perks up every time you talk, which isn’t unlike your usual Spencer. Whenever he catches himself doing it he flusters. Every time you call him baby he loses his mind. “He doesn’t remember me, but he wants to. And I remember him.”
“This must be pretty weird for you, kid,” Derek says.
“Sort of,” Spencer says.
It’s funny. Now you know Spencer thinks he’s twenty three again, you can’t not notice his shyness and his awkward tries at casualness. You’d forgotten what he was like back then.
“Wait, does that mean you don’t remember Emily?” Derek asks.
Spencer frowns. “Uh, no?”
You sit up in your chair. “Emily’s one of your best friends, honey. She joined the BAU when Greenaway left.”
“Not you?” he asks.
You dramatise your pain as Derek laughs. “Not me. I didn’t transfer for a long time, unfairly. It’s okay, though, you’ll remember Emily eventually.”
When you realised Spencer wasn’t as okay as you’d thought, you gathered a gaggle of agitated doctors to assess him. He knew his name and birthday. He was wrong about the date, the president, and the state. You’re in Arizona where he’d thought Indiana. Your bag talks to the heat: Spencer’s fan, his sunblock, his antihistamines. He couldn’t believe it when he asked where his stuff was and you passed him your handbag.
You’re trying to drive home to him that you’re not just dating, you're common-law partners, Spence. He adores you. You’d spend life in his lap if you could afford it.
“How’d she get you to believe her?” Derek asks Spencer.
“Uh.”
“I kissed him a couple of times before he came clean about the amnesia,” you say. “So I didn’t have to explain.”
“I didn’t mean to lie,” Spencer says.
He’s looking less haggard now you’ve brushed his hair. It was sweet to watch his shoulders relax. He shuddered when you tucked a strand behind his ears, and didn’t flinch when you asked if you could kiss his cheek. It’s hard to have him vulnerable here and not be allowed to lick his wounds for him. You feel better the better he feels. You’ve fluffed his pillow, wrapped him tighter in blankets. When he got up to pee and you offered to help, he gave a resolute No Thank You, which in hindsight is hilarious but at the time made you wanna squeeze your eyes out.
“It’s okay,” you say softly, “I don’t mind kissing him, even if he doesn’t remember me. Just so long as he doesn’t mind it back.”
Spencer manages to squeeze your hand. It’s a soft one, but it’s real. “I don’t mind.”
“You dog,” Derek says.
“Stop, stop. He’s not doing anything wrong, is he?” you ask. “I’m the evil one, forcing kisses on him when he doesn’t know me.”
“I do know you,” Spencer says.
“What’s it like to have a crush on your own girlfriend?” Derek asks, unwilling to quit his teasing where he’s crossing his arms in the chair opposite, his cup of coffee drained on the side table.
Spencer swallows. “Uh, nerve-wracking.”
“Believe it or not, that’s not so different to now,” Derek says.
Spencer looks to you for confirmation, which you love. You slide your chair closer to him and clasp his wrist with your free hand. “Sometimes you're still a little shy, but it’s not so bad. Full of myself I may be, Spencer Reid, but you do love me. It’s easy with us.”
“Do we really live together?” he asks. “You said common-law.”
“Not technically. I stay at your place four nights a week. You stay with me for the weekends.”
“Every week?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
“We’re never apart?” he asks.
His face is turning pink. You could kiss every bit of colour on his cheeks.
“Derek, would you get Spencer something to eat from the cafeteria? Please?” you ask, levelling your friend with a pleading gaze.
Derek gathers himself up. “Sure. We gotta feed the string bean something, don’t we?” he asks.
Alone again, you draw lines up and down Spencer’s arm with your nails. You’re going to be indulgent in yourself, and ask him everything you’d ever wanted to know. And then a little extra, too.
“You’re not as skinny anymore, have you noticed? You’re quite lean.” You stand to sit where you’d put yourself before he confessed. Your hand falls to his knee. “Solid, sometimes. You and Derek go for walks occasionally.”
“We do?”
“Mm-hm. And me and you do yoga in the living room when we can summon the energy. We tried couples Pilates, but Pilates is hard.”
“We did?”
You smile warmly. “It’s nice to be in love with someone who loves in the same way.”
“How do you love?”
His ears are bitten-red. “Oh, you know. I’m too affectionate. It’s hard not to be with you. Everyone used to think we were… I don’t know, playing a game.” You slide your hand up his thigh, leaning on him to watch his pupils blow. “But I love you for far more than your constant propensity to blush. You get me flowers every time you see my favourites, and you never let me go to sleep without a kiss. Usually here.” You poke the skin beside your eye. “But sometimes you’ll surprise me and kiss my nose.” You're going lax with love, remembering things he’s done, and does every day. “On a Saturday morning we make tea and I put my hands in your t-shirt. You do the crosswords for fun. Sometimes we time them.”
“That’s not how you love, that’s what you love,” Spencer says.
“Oh, you want a play by play of things?” He ducks his chin, but he smiles when you laugh.
“I just can’t believe this is happening.”
You try to think of things you don’t think about anymore. “You love my sugar lip gloss, so I always wear it.”
He reaches out tentatively. Shy as a wren in a hedgerow. You let him curl a hand over your elbow, feel the crook of it with his index finger.
“I buy you stamps, and t-shirts for bed, and stupid stuff you wouldn’t get yourself. We’re… it’s like, it doesn’t feel like gift giving anymore because we’re always getting stuff for each other. You’re just as sweet, you know? When I first started sleeping over you bought me this huge pack of socks ‘cos yours are all odd,” you laugh. “I knew I loved you already, but…”
It’s a little sad, actually. He can’t remember all the stuff that makes you the couple you are. It’s not what you’d meant to get into.
“Can I ask you something?” you ask.
“Anything.”
He’s slept-in and breathless, like he ran laps in his dreams.
“What do you think of me now? I always wondered if you liked me back then, or if I just caught you off guard.”
“Who wouldn’t like you?”
“But did you?”
He looks away hurriedly, his hand dropping from your elbow. “I guess so. But it’s not– not real. I have a crush on you.” His mumbling is sweet. “I have no idea why I’m telling you that.”
“I had a crush on you, too, back then. It wasn’t anything serious, but it wasn’t a joke. And the more time we spent together, the more I thought we could fall in love,” —you take his hand and put it back on your arm— “and we did.”
You toy with his fingers. Without looking, ashamed of your own self-indulgence, you ask another question. “What do you think of me now?”
“I can’t remember,” he says sorrily.
“What do you think?”
“You feel like a dream.” He shakes his head. “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world. I don’t really get how this is real.”
You shouldn’t be surprised that he’d say it, you practically begged for it, but you can’t stop yourself from sitting up to kiss his forehead gently. “It’s real. Promise. And for the record, you’re handsome. They stopped saying ‘aged like fine wine’ a while ago. Now they just say ‘aged like Spencer Reid’.”
He gives a choky laugh.
The door opens again. You lift your head expecting Derek and find a weather worm Hotch in the doorway. “Reid, you’re awake,” he says, not bothering with a smile. “Morgan said you have amnesia?” He directs it at both of you.
Spencer’s looking at Hotch in clear shock.
“He hasn’t aged that badly,” you chastise teasingly.
“Hotch, you’re– I thought you would’ve– You’re still–?”
Hotch squints. “You didn’t think I had the stamina for it?”
Spencer squirms under his gaze. “No, sir, it’s not that–”
“Sir,” Hotch says, and then he smiles. “I forgot when you both used to respect me.”
“I have the utmost respect for you, sir,” you say through your own smile.
“Has she been kind to you, Reid?”
“Uh, yes? Is she not usually?”
Hotch presses his lips together rather than answer. There’s a sympathy in his expression you resent.
—
It’s a thankfully quick bout of amnesia. The memories start to draw in like a dusting of powdered sugar, his head finely silted, one particle at a time. He finds that the more you talk, the quicker his memory is jogged. You tell him about your first kiss —I tried to kiss your cheek but you moved, it was the funniest thing— and your second. You spin stories of cases, the worst ones and the best, all the times you held hands without people knowing, the times you’d been caught. He can’t imagine it, goes hot with the memory, picturing kissing you as you’d described and the mortification of being walked in on.
You tell him about your vacation to Nevada a few months ago and he thinks about how you’d fallen asleep on the plane. Your nose in his arm, your unhappy sigh at the tight leg space.
Remembering you is more than half of remembering himself.
Your hands —his hands. Your smile —his laugh. The way you fold his hands in your lap —the urge to catch your chin for a kiss.
He doesn’t know how to deal with it, and then suddenly he feels like Spencer. Your partner, your love, his proudest title for years. You’re standing at the end of the hospital bed in pajamas folding your clothes, allowed to stay the night while he’s so urgently confused and upset, you can’t make him stay here alone, please, I know you guys have those little cots for the kids ward, and he just knows you completely.
Hours of diligent if embezzled storytelling gives it all back to him.
“I like the lipgloss because you used to wear that perfume that smelled like sugar donuts,” he says, scratching a hand through limp hair. “And every time I crossed the square by the station–”
You let out a surprising squeal of joy. “Spencer!” you say, racing to take his hands, “Yes! The donut truck!”
You go in for a kiss he gladly returns. “Oh, you remember,” you say, softening as he takes your neck into his hand. “I was getting worried.”
“Some of it’s still hazy, but not so much you.”
You wrap your arms around him for a hug, careful of his sore head. “I missed you, Spencer. I still loved you when you couldn’t remember me, but I missed you. Do you remember you?”
He traces the scar on your lower cheek with his thumb. He’s genuinely relieved to be able to say he does. He’s not scared of what you think of him anymore, ‘cos he knows that everything he feels for you is mutual. “I remember you telling me my bad feeling was just a case of the heebies.”
You bend into his touch. “Honey, I’m sorry. How was I supposed to know you’d get your skull whacked with a cinder block? It was a bakery. I thought the worst that could happen was getting a face full of red velvet or something.” You kiss his nose quickly. “I’m so glad you’re you. Now I can sleep in the bed with you, and not that collapsible camping cot.”
He shushes you. “Don’t give us away. They’re not gonna let you stay if they think I’m fine.”
You giggle excitedly, arms around him again for another squeeze. “I missed you so much. You’re so devious now.”
He rubs your back. “I missed you too. And I still have a crush on you, I swear.”
“Thank you, honey, that means a lot to me.”
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚⋆
thanks for reading!
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction
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My hands are shaky and my head is refusing to work properly! But! I made it!
The Blurr chapter for Mecha au >:D
Blurr's job is not to fight for humanity.
Blurr's job is to smile for the camera and take the applause of people who praise him for his bravery and sacrifice. Blurr's job is to sell his face, his voice and his skills to millions of viewers. He must impress investors, show off advanced technology and make a determined face saying that to save mankind he is ready for anything. And then get in a luxury car and drive off to some expensive place to burn a whole bunch of zeros out of his paycheck.
He's not someone who stays after work to help his coworkers. And he's not the one who spends his nights trying to save as many people as possible. He signs autographs, makes big statements, and promises people he'll protect them.
And people believe him.
And they love him.
Swerve is sick of this spectacle. Swerve is sick of this man.
Under the cut
————————————
Nobody likes Blurr.
Okay, if you think on a large scale, everyone loooves Blurr. His face is on every poster, his brand is in every possible store, his voice and is in every cool commercial. You literally can't exist without knowing who Blurr is, or at least seeing his face once. It's a “Luke I'm your father” level phenomenon. How massive a rock do you have to live under to miss something like that?
Everybody loves Blurr. You can go buy a t-shirt with his face on it. You can go listen to his interviews or purchase a tiny replica of his action figure. There are incredibly many ways a Blurr fan can blow a hole in their budget.
Swerve knows, because he's done it many times. And recently, it's stopped being something he's proud of. To be precise, it was exactly four days ago when Blurr first stepped into his office. Swerve had just finished his shift and was finishing his tea when his boss suddenly appeared in the doorway, with the best racer in the world right behind him.
The tea was instantly dropped, adrenaline was released, and the brain was turned off.
In that moment, Swerve thought that this is what it must look like. The moment when all your good karma comes together in one pile to reward you for all the times you dropped a sandwich butter side down or missed a deadline.
Both of which happened with annoying regularity. Swerve is unlucky. Sometimes things seem to fall through his hands.
It started out great.
Swindle, their boss, showed up in the office space one day looking simultaneously jubilant, nervous, and very inspired. Usually on such occasions, Swerve could almost see the dollar signs reflected in his boss's glasses.
“Attention everyone. We have an important guest arriving in an hour.”
Swindle expressively pushed his glasses down on his nose and looked around the room
“I promised him a tour and I expect you all to behave yourselves.”
He meticulously looks around the floor beneath his feet
“Send someone to clean up all the trash. This place is unbelievably filthy. The floors should be sparkling in twenty minutes! And, oh! Hey you, go buy some good drinks.”
Having finished inspecting the floor Swindle hurriedly runs off, probably to say the same thing to the neighboring department.
Swerve stretches his neck out curiously, listening in
“Is the president coming to see us?”
Walking by, Jazz shrugs
“When the president was coming Swindle said the floor was dirty and made him wear boot covers.”
It's not the president
Swindle gestures generously to the entire office at once and looks overall like a bird trying his best to primp up
“And here we have the engineering department offices. In the next building is the assembly plant, that's where the mechs are put on their feet so to speak. And this is where all the computing, design, and planning happens.”
Just over his shoulder stands and looks around at none other than
Oh, dear God.
Swerve's tea flies to the floor next to his thought processes.
He's seen Blurr countless times, but never in person. How can this guy look as good in person as he does in expensive retouched-until-squeaky-clean photos? Mystery.
Blurr's gaze slides lazily over the simple office setting and for those two seconds when it's directed at Swerve it feels like sheer madness. He tries to look normal. He's not sure he's succeeding, but he's making an effort.
Swindle waltzes through the office, heading for the next door
“Come on I'll show you the mech hangar.”
Blurr grins.
“A highlight of the show I suppose~”
His voice is like a needle bursting a ball of stunned silence. People begin to rise from their seats and scramble to say hello. Someone asks for an autograph, others ask for a bunch of selfies, a couple people in the corner hastily fix their hair, one of the employees just pulls out his phone and shamelessly starts filming.
Swindle looks at the this with an unchanging commercial smile, but his gaze promises all kinds of punishment.
Perhaps if it had been the president, the buffoonery would have been smaller.
______________
For the next few days, Blurr is the big news and the center of all discussion.
Officially? He's becoming one of the pilots in the Mecha program.
In fact? Swindle's greedy soul couldn't get enough of the idea that the Mech concept could be monetized.
The dust is blown off Blurr and his boots are licked. He doesn't go to general training, he doesn't participate in ordinary or overly dangerous missions. He's allowed everything and a little more. His job is to look pretty on camera, speak his lines, smile and wink. He's a walking advertisement and Swindle's incredibly powerful tool in negotiating with investors.
Swerve once saw him called to a negotiation in the middle of the night, and even sleep-deprived and exhausted after a full day of filming, Blurr had the strength to pull that charming expression on his face and flawlessly play along with Swindle wherever he needed to.
His mech was a work of art. And that's not even an exaggeration. Usually the main purpose of mechs is to be efficient and practical. Blurr's Mech was made separately and so many people worked on its design that it could have its own end credits. It's beautiful, sleek, shiny and show-offy. It's designed to be awe-inspiring, but not so decorated that it's ridiculous.
When Swerve looks at its specs, he almost feels sick. Maneuverability, mobility, everything is absolutely top-notch. But most importantly, speed.
The technology to accelerate Mechs to incredible speeds has been around for some time, but the average robot doesn't reach even half of the technically possible maximum. Because even the fastest machine can't outrun the human brain.
After a certain threshold, pilots are no longer capable of controlling their own Mech. Human reaction speed is simply not enough to maneuver without crashing into anything or losing their orientation in space. And. Well. Without losing consciousness.
This has led to Mech manufacturers sort of tacitly agreeing on a rough speed limit and tending to stick to it. Just to make the technology safer and more suitable for everyone.
Regardless. Everyone except Blurr apparently.
Because the numbers across from his Mech's speed specs are horrifying. Swerve looks at the blueprints and thinks it's either freaking awesome or absolute suicide. Maybe something in between. Can a human being have reflexes like that? What about this turning mechanism? The numbers tell him that these levels of g-force make a large percentage of pilots just pass out.
Is Blurr really going to pilot this death wagon??
To achieve that kind of speed and mobility, they'd have to cut off half the armor or make it very light. Which would almost be like inviting a dangerous injury.
But if the Mech is made primarily to flaunt rather than fight...well... it probably makes sense.
Swerve's inner fan is sliding down the wall.
Blurr is incredible. And what's even more incredible is that he's kind of sort of almost Swerve's coworker now.
It only takes him a couple days to realize.
Everyone loves Blurr.
But the one who loves Blurr the most is Blurr himself.
The rose-tinted glasses are breaking slowly but surely. On the first day, Sverve walks up on shaky legs to get introduced. He tells himself that this is definitely not an attempt to get an autograph. They're coworkers. He's just...uh...greeting a new employee.
Blurr looks slightly bored.
“You're from this department....uh.. What's its name, whatever.”
Swerve clutches his hands in front of him so he doesn't accidentally drop anything
“OH.Uh yeah. Swerve! Engineering Department. You were there on a tour the other day. I usually work in the assembly plant, making armor for Mechs, developing new alloys. But I design too! I, uh.
(Don't talk about Blurr. Don't talk about Blurr. Don't talk about Blurr. Don't talk about Blurr. Don't talk about Blurr. Don't talk about Blurr. Don't talk about Blurr. He'll think you're a crazy fan. Don't talk about Blurr.)
Blurr starts to get sidetracked by his phone.
Swerve swallows awkwardly.
“I'm uh. I'm a big fan of yours. Sir.”
(Good job...)
Blurr chuckles softly and offers out his hand
“Well, nice to meet you.”
Sverve's hand is shaking like crazy, he hopes he isn't squeezing too hard. Working in the assembly has made his hands rough. Blurr's narrow, soft palm is almost sinking in his grip.
“ 'Nice to meet you, yes. Nice to meet you sir! If you, ah, if you have any problems or questions or uh, well. You know, if you need help with your Mech or upgrades or or.”
Blurr chuckles.
“I'll be counting on you~”
Swerve feels like his soul is about to break away from his body.
The next, day when they cross paths in the hallway Blurr waves to him.
“Hey you. Whatever your name is. Can you tell me how to get to Block D?
Swerve stops awkwardly.
“Ah. Of course! I'm Swerve sir. Come, I'll show you.”
Blurr smiles a beautiful, ad-libbed smile and follows him in
“Thank you darling.”
From this point on, the entire program gradually learns a simple but unpleasant truth.
Blurr is an asshole.
And nobody likes him.
He always has everyone at his beck and call. You rarely get to see him on his own. There's always someone swirling around him with a guilty or annoyed face. A sort of serve-get-show-explain designated poor guy.
Swindle treats Blurr like a precious antique vase.
Blurr treats people like his servants.
The whole world is in love with the glittering cover, the image polished to a squeak. Until recently, Swerve was doing the same thing. Now it feels more like an embarrassing crush.
Blurr still doesn't remember his name. He actually remembers at most three to four people by name, and calls everyone else “hey you” or “ darling”. After Swerve reintroduced himself to him for the fourth time he just sort of...stopped trying.
On the field, Blurr is incredible. No one can deny that. The tremendous speed of his Mech leaves all the other pilots in the dust. Whoever said human reflexes weren't fast enough? HA. When Swerve sees his reports and results, he gets dizzy.
The combination of such incredible speeds and light armor means Blurr simply can't miss. If he hesitates, if he falters. If he gets confused. The whole metal thing will smash him to smithereens.
And yet Blurr comes back untouched time after time.
Swerve's no longer inclined to think it's just because of his mad skills. He knows that Swindle is paying Blurr a lot of money for his cooperation. No one would let Blurr fight on the front lines, no. It would be too dangerous. He has to do just enough so that Swindle can record a commercial and in it call Blurr a badass pilot without adding small print to that statement.
Blurr's job is not to fight for humanity.
Blurr's job is to smile for the camera and take the applause of people who praise him for his bravery and sacrifice. Blurr's job is to sell his face, his voice and his skills to millions of viewers. He must impress investors, show off advanced technology and make a determined face saying that to save mankind he is ready for anything. And then get in a luxury car and drive off to some expensive place to burn a whole bunch of zeros out of his paycheck.
He's not someone who stays after work to help his coworkers. And he's not the one who spends his nights trying to save as many people as possible. But he is the first person every citizen would name if asked to say something about the Mech program. He signs autographs, makes big statements, and promises people he'll protect them.
And people believe him.
And they love him.
A month later, he still can't remember anyone's names and sometimes calls people by the colors of their clothes, laughing as if they should take it as a cute joke.
Swerve is sick of this spectacle. Swerve is sick of this man.
That's okay.
It's not like fanboying over Blurr is Swerve's only passion.
He gets upset.
Then he gets mad and rips down all the posters.
Then he has no time to be angry because Swindle wants to launch Mechs into outer space and damn it, Jazz flies off the planet and doesn't fucking come back. The engineering department stays up nights trying to figure out where he's gone, but they can't.
Unlike Blurr, everybody loved Jazz.
Unlike Blurr, Jazz deserved every ounce of that love.
The ground beneath his feet is starting to shake.
At first, all that happens is panic. Everyone starts making a confused noise, someone assumes an earthquake.
A voice on the speakers says that everyone needs to evacuate immediately, but no one hears it because huge mechanical tentacles start coming through the windows and the whole building starts shaking, creaking and crumbling.
Sverve has seen the monsters humanity has to fight many times. But never this close. And their size leaves him absolutely terrified. These things are huge, they take up all visible space. And what's most damning is that they can break down the walls around Swerve like a fucking cookie.
He's gonna die. Oh god he's going to die, he's going to die, he's going to die, he's going to die, he's going to die, he's going to die, he's going to die here under this stupid rubble or get eaten or turned into one of the ugly bloody stains on the wall. His heart is doing a million beats a minute and his eyes are starting to sting. He tries to get to the emergency exit, but the door is blocked by one of the huge toothy creatures that is actively trying to get in.
Next to him, Swindle is shouting to someone on his comm, trying to sound louder than the rumble of the collapsing building and the hungry aliens.
The floor tilts at a very disturbing angle and Swerve grabs one of the interior doorways to stay in place. A second later, he reaches out and pulls Swindle, who has already slowly begun to slip toward the monster's huge hungry maw, to the same doorway.
Swindle grabs onto the frame of the door and Swerve at the same time. His glasses are cracked and his usually neat expensive coat is all dust and debris.
“It was a trap.”
Swerve can't hear a word over the grinding of breaking structures.
“What?”
Swindle almost slips and falls, but Swerve grabs him by the scruff of his coat and puts him back on his feet. Working in an assembly shop gives a man strong arms and right now he's very grateful for it.
Swindle makes a second, louder attempt
“It was a trap!!! All available pilots are now on the other side of the country! I've called for backup, but who knows how fast they'll get here.”
A smooth, silky voice comes from a walkie-talkie strapped to his coat.
“Ouch Swindle. So little faith in my professional skills?”
Swindle rounds his eyes
“Blurr??! Where are you!”
Blurr's voice sounds...not quite as it usually does. It's missing the habitual lazy note. The one that makes him sound like the whole world owes him money.
“Give me another minute and the answer will be 'here'.”
The building shakes again. Swindle swears so eloquently that Swerve can't help but admire it.
Swerve can't stand Blurr's smug face, but when he spots the first glimpse of blue metal in the window, joy floods his brain.
He usually associates Blurr with dumb nicknames, dismissive treatment, and commercials.
Now he watches the sleek, fast Mech lunge fearlessly at the monsters surrounding the building and thinks that. Fuck this. He's an asshole, but if he buys Swerve enough time to evacuate, he'll bring him a thank you card or something later. Though it's unlikely Blurr will care about that of course.
Swindle continues to shout instructions over the walkie-talkie. Swerve basically drags him outside by. He jumps up probably a full meter when very near him one of the monsters falls to the ground.
Blurr's Mech stands proudly on top of the fresh corpse and looks...actually really bad. Swerve knows that this particular robot was not built for rough, open confrontation. Its armor is too thin. Designed for speed and agility, not strength. He assembled it himself, after all.
Many of the plates are crumpled. Some are torn off. His legs are intact, but one of the joints sparks funny.
Blurr quickly looks around and Swerve unwittingly follows his example. The whole place is on fire. Office buildings are in ruins and a huge column of black smoke rises above the assembly plant.
Blurr's Mech drops to the ground and gets down on one knee. The plates on its chest are pulled aside and Blurr sticks his head out of the cockpit while simultaneously opening the visor on his helmet.
“Everyone okay?”
Swindle clutches the walkie-talkie
“The office areas are empty, but there still could be people left on the lower floors of the assembly plant. But we have no access there!”
Blurr drums his fingers quickly on the metal plate
“Fire?”
Swindle shrugs his dusty shoulders
“Something exploded at the bottom of the building. It's a real smelter down there.
Even if we send a Mech, it won't last more than a minute before it overheats. Or make the building collapse.”
Blurr's gaze becomes focused. Sharp. Swerve has seen that look many times on tough front line fighters like Jazz. On Blurr, never.
“'That's enough time for me.”
Swindle waves his hands
“Are you crazy?”
Blurr slaps his palm against the armor of his Mech
“This baby is light. Lighter than anything you've got! If anyone can do it without dropping the building, it's me. They make Mechs in the assembly hall, it's got high ceilings right?”
Swerve wants to snap. He wants to throw his hands up angrily and yell something along the lines of “you were literally there!”
Who else is down there on those lower floors??? Tailgate? Maybe Wheeljack? If something exploded, Wheeljack was definitely there. And probably closest to the explosion.
Swindle curses furiously, but retreats and runs off to give orders to someone else.
“”Be a hero if you want, but I'm not going in there. For all I know there could be melting metal in there instead of a floor! It's just not reasonable.”
Swerve's brain stumbles over that statement. Why...Swindle is acting like he's being forced to climb into that building too...?
Blurr looks nervous.
“You know what. Fine. I got it. Hey, you--”
And there it is. The good old namelesness.
Blurr pays no attention to Swerve's frowning face, nor his hands shaking with fear
“ You're familiar with those buildings. You know who was there and where to find them right? I need you to walk me through.”
Swerve feels the urge to snap again and this time doesn't hold it back
“If you cared about something other than yourself, you'd know this damn building and the people who work in it too and !”
“I don't fucking remember!” Blurr interrupts him.
Swerve doesn't have time to put anything in after that. Though a sarcastic comment is begging to be made.
Blurr quickly takes off his helmet and wipes the sweat off his forehead.
“I don't remember okay! This isn't a fad or posing or whatever else you think of me. This is what an accident can do to you if you miss a turn! I can't remember shit, okay?! Do you need a medical report?!”
Swerve just...stands there with his mouth open and probably looks like an idiot.
Blurr nervously tucks back his disheveled hair. The longer he talks, the faster he does it.
“Now. I know you don't want to die in a pit of fire. But I need your help to save them. Don't do anything, just take the map. I promise I won't let you die.”
He sounds determined. And holds out his hand to Swerve, silently inviting him to climb up onto the Mech.
His face is stained in sticky dust, his hair is an absolute mess, and his narrow palm is covered in streaks of soot. It's as if he's been dragged face down a muddy road.
He's. Very Handsome, Swerve thinks.
He takes his hand.
Blurr helps him up, pushes him into the space next to the pilot's seat, and closes the cockpit.
“Been inside a working Mech ever?”
Swerve clenches his hands nervously on the back of the seat
“No.”
The lights of the consoles around him come to life as Blurr puts on his helmet. The space around him hums. It's a strange noise. At once unsettling and calm.
Mech feels alive, he thinks. Then corrects himself. Blurr is mind-linked to this Mech. This Mech can technically be considered alive in a sense.
Blurr moves one of the monitors toward him and opens the map.
“Just mark the path here. Don't touch anything else. And hold on tight. I won't be going too fast anyway, but it'll be shaky.”
Swerve swallows nervously.
“Understood.”
After that, everything turns into motion. Watching the Mech work while being inside is mesmerizing.
Blurr doesn't say much, concentrating on the controls. His hands aren't shaking anymore, Swerve notices. Not even a little.
He steers the machine forward confidently and smoothly, dodging falling debris and avoiding the biggest pockets of fire without panic or hesitation.
He's also strictly following the path Swerve is laying out for him.
The air filtration system is doing well so far. Swerve can feel the smell of burning and the heat slowly creeping up, but it's bearable for now. For now.
They find a man on the nearside of the emergency exit.
Two more people a floor below. A small group stuck in the elevator.
Wheeljack's on the doorstep of his lab.
Blurr pulls them all out. Picks up the first group of people and carries them outside, goes back into the fiery furnace, finds more survivors, pulls them out, goes back, searches, rescues, goes back, searches, rescues.
The heat is coming up. Swerve can feel it. The plates around him are getting hot. The air smells like burnt wires.
Blurr’s Mech wasn't designed for this kind of thing.
His Mech was made to flash for the camera and accelerate to impossible speeds. To deceive and confuse the enemy. Its armor is thin and cools easily in the air, which usually helps it avoid overheating.
This also means that this Mech heats up very quickly as well.
Now, with the air around him feeling like a red-hot frying pan, Swerve regrets not saying anything back then. He regrets that he didn't make any changes to the blueprint.
More and more warnings pop up on the screens. The map stopped working correctly some time ago and Swerve is forced to give directions verbally.
He nervously grips the back of the pilot seat with one hand and, without noticing, Blurr's shoulder with the other.
Blurr carries two more people outside and hands them to the rescuers. Then turns back to the building again and. OH FUCK. Right in front of him, a huge crack begins to creep along the structure. This thing is on the verge of collapse. The roof is already starting to fold down in a very bad way.
Swerve clenches his grip fearfully and hears Blurr hiss through his teeth.
Suddenly, the cockpit opens. The fresh air of the street feels like a cold sledgehammer blow after the heat and stuffiness of the lower levels.
Swerve is about to ask something, but doesn't have time because Blurr uses Mech's hand to gently but quickly pull him outside and set him on the ground.
“You were going to mark another spot.”
Swerve nods hurriedly.
“Tailgate is still there.”
Blurr wrinkles his face.
Swerve corrects himself and clarifies
“Bright blue uniform. Short. Considering all the places we've been, I think he's in the staff quarters. It's...”
He chews his fingers, trying to remember numbers and directions without a map
“...two floors down, left, another floor down and straight ahead.”
As he speaks Blurr bends over the side of the open cockpit and spits...blood on the ground. His nose is bleeding, Swerve realizes. That's not good. It's a clear sign of a malfunctioning neural connection. Or damage to his respiratory system? Possibly both.
Blurr doesn't seem to notice his worried look
“Two down, left down then. Shit. Wait. Two down, left then down, straight ahead yeah?”
Swerve nods.
Blurr keeps repeating these directions like a mantra. A very fast and creepy mantra.
His gaze roams strangely and his breaths sound hoarse. His teeth and chin are covered in blood and his face is streaked with soot.
Swerve understands. He's about to do another go.
Two down, left, down, straight. Two down, left, down, straight. Two down, left, down, straight.
Alone. He's going, and he's going to fry himself alive in there for a stranger he doesn't even remember.
Swerve doesn't have time to say anything. What's he gonna say? Stop? But he wants to save Tailgate? Go on, I believe in you? But it's certain death.
Swerve rarely has nothing to say, but this time he can't find the right words.
Blurr wipes the blood with his sleeve, wrinkles his nose, and storms off, heading back into the flaming mess the plant has become.
Not twenty seconds later, the roof collapses, spewing a huge cloud of smoke, ash, and fire into the sky.
Swerve wrinkles his shirt nervously in his hands.
The walls are still in place, right? If the roof is gone but the walls are still standing it's... it's. It's.
Damn it. He's trying to remember the blueprints. It means the ejector will work. It means Blurr can still get out through the top. That--
Blurr's not getting out. As the small, bright blue escape pod appears above the falling walls of the building, Swerve feels his brain stop. Remember the blueprints, remember the damn blueprints. The Mech is light, the design is compact, the space in the pod is for only one person.
In the capsule lies an unconscious Tailgate.
Swindle grasps the radio
“Blurr? BLURR!”
Swerve looks at the smoke and ash and feels numb. He doesn't want to be here anymore. He has to know. He doesn't...
He feels weird. The same kind of weird as when objects fly seemingly through him. Everything just stops being real.
The thought comes out of nowhere. You don't have to obey the rules. You can see more. Just look.
He's not sure how or why he's doing it.
No one around him is paying much attention to him. Everyone's busy with survivors and damage assessment or just stunned by the chaos.
And him? He disappears.
And then he appears at the bottom. Under the rubble.
All around him is ugly, molten and red-hot chaos, but he doesn't care anymore. He feels like whatever is happening is about to end and he just has to be in time. Time for him to find out.
Blurr's Mech lies crushed by the fallen roof. Its cockpit is open. A gaping hole where his chest was, the place where the escape pod had undocked.
Wall debris has pinned him in a crooked, grotesque pose.
Blurr is here. His legs are wedged between crumpled metal plates inside the cockpit, leaving him hanging upside down. His suit is charred. Half of his face is destroyed. It looks like a horrible bloody and burned mess. It's ugly and gruesome.
Blurr opens his only working eye and gives Swerve a cloudy look.
“I must be seeing things...”
Swerve shrugs in daze. He knows he shouldn't be here.
Blurr spits up a mouthful of blood
“I'm sorry I hurt you uh...”
“Swerve.”
“Yes. Swerve. It's hard for me to remember things unless they're...akgh...hell... not in my face all the time.”
Swerve moves closer and frowns
“You know, that explains but doesn't excuse you.”
Blurr closes his eye and coughs. That sounds really bad.
“No...I guess not.”
He huffs off the blood again. The burned half of his face is oozing with it. The blood runs down his forehead, collecting in a small puddle on the floor.
“It was better than letting everyone know what's wrong with me. I can't even begin to think about the amount of messes I'd be dragged into.”
Swerve notes that the fire seems to be getting closer.
This whole bit of dialog is so unnatural. Who even talks about that kind of stuff before they die. On the other hand. Well. Character development?
“So you think it's better to have everyone assume you're a jerk than that you got your head screwed on?”
Blurr wrinkles his nose.
“ You're a very specific kind of ghost.”
Swerve shoves his hands in his pockets and looks away
“I needed to know. Before you die.”
“That's ...akghhh...ha....it's good to know. Can you tell me something Swerve? As..agh...
As a last wish?”
Swerve shrugs again. He stares at the dripping blood. At the ugly, bubbling burns. At the burst vessels in his eye and the paths of blood from his bleeding nose. He looks at the broken and scorched and dying bloody mess.
He looks at Blurr.
And he thinks, until today, he didn't really love Blurr. Not with the posters and figurines. Not with the disdain and dislike.
He loved an image. And hated an image.
He reaches out and tries to touch Blurr's hand, but goes through it.
“I'm sorry. But we're both not really here. And I have to go.”
He can feel the cold metal around him, which is strange because he's standing in the middle of smoking and burning ruins
“But if it makes you happy, I guess you're my favorite character after all.”
Blurr doesn't answer. Swerve isn't sure he even heard him.
The feeling of metal around him grows sharper.
Someone shines a flashlight in his face.
Swerve blinks stupidly and tries to move away.
The unknown Autobot medic standing over him smiles happily and puts the flashlight away
“Welcome back. You've been in a coma Primus knows how long.”
The other medic to the side frowns
“You have zero tact.”
Swerve blinks his optics puzzled, raises his servo and for a while just stares at it like some movie character. All around him is an Autobot medbay. Metal walls. Metal instruments. And him. Metal.
Yes. Seems so. That's the way he's always been. That's right.
“Doc, you won't believe what kind of weird dream I had.”
___________
Swerve feels like he's going crazy.
He's standing in the middle of a hallway on one of the Autobot ships, and he's staring. shamelessly.
There's Prowl standing at the end of the hallway. And on his shoulder is...
“ JAZZ????”
Both bot and human turn around abruptly at his scream. And both look equally puzzled.
Jazz waves his hand
“Do I know you?”
Swerve is definitely going crazy. It's Jazz. The same one. From his...dream??? But he's real and tangible??? Sitting on Prowl's shoulder, talking and breathing and being seen by everyone not only Swerve????
“You're...real...?”
Jazz raises his eyebrows
“I am. Yes. Really Mech, you sound very familiar.
But I can tell you for a fact that I have not been friends with any Cybertronians before...”
This can't be, this can't be, this isn't....
It was a dream. The spawn of his TV series-addled mind. A hallucination. It wasn't real. It wasn't, was it?
But Jazz is here. And he disappeared from Earth. And now he's here.
And.
What the..
Swerve blurts out something like “sorry-sorry-see-you-later-now-I've got to go” and runs off.
“HEY DOC????”
The autobot, already familiar to him, flinches
“Primus...Swerve? Is something wrong?”
Swerve realizes that everything is about to either make sense or lose it completely.
“Tell me...is it possible to project a holoform...like...very far away?”
The Doctor tilts his head.
“Depends on power consumption. If you channel all the energy available in a frame, you can go very far. But that would send you into a...coma...if you...tried...Swerve, is there anything you'd like to tell me?”
“Doc do you know where Earth is?”
“Wha...no?”
Swerve chuckles nervously and bites his knuckles.
“I don't either. But I think I've been there...”
#tf mecha universe#Blurr#Swindle#Swerve#Jazz#Tailgate#Wheeljack#maccadam#Prowl#Jazzprowl happens for like two seconds
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⊹˚₊‧──── The Dragon's Claim ────‧₊˚⊹
―୨୧⋆ ˚GENRE/WARNING: f!xm, feral Sylus, double cocks, marking, biting, scratching, breeding, eating out, swearing, hybrid, porn w/little plot, overstim, blood, aphrodisiac saliva, feral sylus, and did I say feral sylus? yeah-
―୨୧⋆ ˚SUMMARY: After being exiled from Philos, you set out beyond the borders of your home in search of the crimson gem that would reinstate your citizenship. However, fate had other plans in store for you. You stumble into the dragon lair, unaware of its fate.
―୨୧⋆ ˚WORD COUNT: 3.6K
―୨୧⋆ ˚A/N: AAAAAA SYLUS MYTH! I'm sorry I got so excited when it was announced and wrote this as fast as I could. I'm so sorry if it's not my best work; I just wanted to get it out as fast as possible. I hope you all enjoy it and share your thoughts on it! Please reblog and share, it would be greatly appreciated!
(Side note: I apologize for the messy tagging, this is my first time doing, bear with me. I did go back and edit this, so if you're rereading, let me know how the new changes are ;3)
―୨୧⋆ ˚LINKS: AO3 Version, Twitter
―୨୧⋆ ˚TAGLIST: @bookfreakk , @comatosebunny09, @local-twat, @alfredosaws, @n109dove, @rokuxx6, @minvirsa, @kyokoyya, @sapphic-daze, @quiet-oracle, @trishiepo0, @ikeepgettingloggedout, @lowkaylove, @nappatheyappa, @celestialforce, @acasualattempt, @le-monchou, @binibininghermosa, @chwesuh-imnida, @insidious-innocence, @heavenly-qingxin, @savourtheflavourgeez, @satansdaughter123, @mesaonline, @vampiirl, @kamisatomay018, @liireoe, @paradisekissmoon, @shitsylus , @jollibeaaa, @boinkboinkkitten, @magpie-the-goblin-girl, @tumbling-through-deepspace, @spirianaluna, @beykyuns , @aly4khq, @san5zu, @rafshottestgf, @mr-crawlings-wife, @twistedlaces1909, @deathrye , @elysiums-light, @xduskydollx , @meowchu7, @sylusloml, @chaoticfivesworld, @rene-lads-trashcan
You stood at the city's edge, casting one final glance back as the guards leveled their spears at you. The captain stepped forward, his voice as cold and commanding as it rang out into the silence. "Bring back the crimson gem from the dragon's cave beyond the border. Only then will you prove yourself worthy of rejoining the citizens of Philos."
The weight of his words sank in like stones. The city had been your whole life—your whole world, it was all you ever knew; the people, the community, everything—Now you were exiled, doomed to face the harsh unknown. Desperately, you pleaded, hoping for just a sliver of mercy. "Please—grant me a retri–"
"Silence!" The captain barked out, cutting you off sharply. "You are forbidden to speak unless you have the gem in hand. Only then will you earn another chance. Now go!"
The guards thrust their spears forward, forcing you to cross the threshold as you shuffled backward, stumbling on your feet. This was it. With your last ounce of hope shriveled, you turned around and stepped into the wilderness. Your heart thrummed loudly in your ears as you ventured further into the uncharted lands, left with nothing but a small satchel containing only a few days' worth of provisions. How you would survive beyond that was a question only time could answer.
In the first few hours, you barely managed to go a hundred meters beyond the city threshold. The sight of Philos served as a tether to familiarity, a comfort you desperately clung to despite the rejection. However, as the sun dipped lower into the sky and the shadows stretched into darkness, waiting became a death sentence of its own. Your resolve now reformed–it was better to attempt to escape find this treasure than to face a perilous doom. It was a better fate than withering outside the city gates.
With a heavy heart, you ventured deeper into the uncharted wilderness, clutching your satchel as though its scarce contents could quell the turmoil within you. Hours turned to days, days to weeks, slowly blurring into months. Each step turns into a survival instinct. The wilderness you had once feared was now becoming a part of you, and you with it. A symphony of the unknown that you now call your new home.
With each sunrise, the sting of longing for Philos dulled. You found peace within the wilderness, looking forward to each new day. You had been roaming around for quite a bit this particular day when the sky darkened with little warning. Looking around, you could faintly spot a jagged opening in the side of the rock face. You dashed for the opening, relieved to be sheltered from the heavy onslaught of the rain.
Taking a moment to catch your breath, you wrung out your clothes. The cave walls danced faintly with shadows, lightning illuminating it brightly on occasion. Only then did it strike you—This was the cave. The one you had been banished to find, your only chance at regaining citizenship in Philos, was right under your feet.
A chill ran through you as its weight sunk in. You stared into the void, its darkness staring back at you, mocking you even. Another strike of lightning illuminated the cave, giving you a glimpse of what lies beyond. Swallowing up your fear, you cautiously made your way further inside, unable to shake the fear that the darkness wasn't empty.
You clung desperately to your satchel, its meager contents unable to protect you now as the darkness swallowed you whole. Unable to see even your own hands in front of you, you took each step with caution. Almost as if the cave itself exhaled, you felt warm breath fanning your skin and immediately froze. Your breath caught in your chest, shallow and strained.
Your blood ran cold when you felt something scaly and rigid run along your leg, wrapping itself around your waist. Every fiber in your being screamed at you to run, but instinct held you still, praying the creature would lose interest and retreat. But fate was not so kind. Not given a chance to react, this thing had tightened its grip, yanking you off your feet. You were mercilessly dragged further, your body sliding along the cold stone.
A shriek was torn from your throat as you fought and thrashed in an attempt to escape your mystery captor. As you were hauled further, the darkness began to shift, soft light flickering along the grimy cave walls, casting shadows that almost looked alive. Your screams quieted as your surroundings grew clearer, dread hanging in the air.
The scent of ash filled your nostrils. A voice booming into the silence, "Another miserable human sent to die a meaningless death by my hands." Your heart was pounding in your chest, unsure of how you would escape this time. "Nonetheless, I have other plans for you." the creature drawled as it finally entered the light.
As frightened as you should be, a part of you couldn't deny that he was the most gorgeous being you had ever laid your eyes on. The dragon-man that stood before you had an otherworldly allure. His silver hair glinted in the faint light, and his sharp, inhuman features were both menacing and beautiful, and those crimson eyes—you almost forgot the peril you were in.
The tail that had dragged you to your doom, now lazily traced a line around you as he prowled in slow circles, his piercing gaze examining you. "Yes…You'll do nicely.."
Your voice trembled as you managed to speak, "What—" In an instant, he moved like a blur, pinning you to the cold stone floor with a growl that emanated from deep within his chest. "Who gave you permission to speak?" He snarled, his voice low and threatening.
"Silence." The warmth of his breath fanned across your skin as he lowered his head, nose brushing against your neck. The contact sent a jolt rushing through you. Instinctively, you tried pulling away, realizing far too late that you had given him the perfect opening.
Without so much as a warning, he sank his sharp teeth into the sensitive flesh of your neck. A cry escaped your lips, pain and shock flaring through your body. He felt your pulse thrumming against his lips as his brows scrunched, lips suctioning around his bite. He pulled back, a smudge of your blood glistening on the corner of his mouth.
He licked it away slowly, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction as he murmured, "Sweet…" He smacked his lips, "I knew you were the one." Panic surged within you as you began to struggle against him. However, an unsettling heat began to spread throughout your body. Your lungs felt heavy, and your body felt weaker, slowly succumbing to the warmth beyond your control.
You groaned weakly, the unfamiliar sensation overcoming your body and slowly clouding your mind. This heat was unlike any other. It burned hot through your veins, igniting a flame so primal you couldn't shake it off. Scurrying from underneath him, you managed to rise to your feet, doing your best to keep your distance, but your blood burned like fire, immense heat radiating from your skin.
"Ah." He chuckled darkly, his tail reaching out to coil around you once more as he pressed against you impossibly closer. "There you go~"
"What…did you do..?" You managed to whimper out, to which he chuckled, "Aphrodisiac. You'll understand soon enough...This was meant to be." You stepped out of his grasp, stumbling into the pile of gold and treasure behind you. You hadn't quite taken note of the obscene amount of gold he had within his cave, but you could not say you were surprised.
He chuckled, sauntering closer to you, his movements deliberate and calculated. Your instincts screamed at you to run, to put as much space between you and him as possible, but no matter how you tried, your body would not move. It betrayed you. You felt yourself dragging forward, drawn to him against your will. The heat within you took control, fueling a deeply hidden desire.
His smirk widened, watching you struggle to regain control. "Don't fight it, you were made for this..for me." His words sent a chill down your spine, the uncertainty scaring you in a way you couldn't imagine.
Finally, you stopped right before him. You could feel the heat emanating from his body as he took one final step closer. His tail wrapped around your body, pulling you to your feet. His clawed hands reached for your waist, grazing your delicate skin.
"Please let me go.." You whimpered out despite leaning into his touch and becoming putty in his hands. "Now, why would I do that when I can see how much you're enjoying this?" he purred, still fully pressed against you.
He lowered his head to your neck once more, sharp teeth piercing into your flesh. A moan was torn from your throat as your hands instinctively flew up to grab his shoulders, wrapping around his neck. Your knees buckled, your strength fading as the heat within you grew and spread like wildfire. It was intoxicating, hard to resist, and impossible to ignore. Pleasure coiled tightly within you, growing with each passing second until resisting felt futile. Your resolve crumbled, and you succumbed to his desire, knowing you could only delay the inevitable for so long.
"Good girl~ I knew you'd come around." He murmured low and husky into your ear. His words sent a chill down your spine, his tone a perfect blend of dominance and seduction, luring you toward your demise. Your breath quickened, your chest rising and falling with an intensity you thought your heart would explode.
He let out a growl, tackling you to the ground once more. The coldness of the stone serves as a stark contrast to the heat that emanates from both your bodies. He made quick work of your clothes, quite literally tearing them away in one swift motion, causing you to yelp out. Instinctively, you brought your arms to cover up what you could while you clenched your legs, holding them closer to your torso.
Sylus was having none of that. He took his tail and pulled your arms away from your body while he spread your thighs apart with his arms. The pungent scent hit his nose, causing his eyes to roll back as he inhaled deeply. He let out a groan, bringing his head down to your core, unable to resist as he licked a fat stripe from your hole to your clit.
Your back arched off the cold floor, a moan escaping your lips as your thighs unconsciously wrapped around his head, hips bucking against his face. Sylus enjoyed every reaction he could elicit from you, kissing along the inner curve of the flesh, sucking and marking a trail that led closer to your core. Finally getting to the apex of your legs, he cupped his mouth over your heat, worming his tongue into your hole, causing you to jolt, the pleasure becoming too much to handle.
He pulled away momentarily, "The name in your mouth should be Sylus, nothing more." with that, he dove back in, sucking viciously at your clit, causing you to moan out and grip his rigid horns. Each curve in his horns fit your fingers perfectly, almost like he was made for you and only you.
"Ah!" You cry out, back arched so high you thought your spine would snap. His ministrations didn't falter in the slightest. Sylus continued to ravage you with his tongue alone, his grip becoming more eager and hungry, claws subtly digging into your thighs as he pulled you closer to his face, making sure you couldn't escape. "Sylus!"
He smirked, a slight huff escaping him at the use of his name as continuing to plunge his tongue deeper into your core, lips still clasped around your mound. Your body was scorching, the cold stone doing little to quell the heat. You felt as though you were going to burst. The pleasure was so overwhelmingly delicious that all sense of control you had was long abandoned.
A knot had started to form in the pit of your stomach, hips bucking wildly in an attempt to escape. "Please! I-" Your orgasm crashed through you unexpectedly as you threw your head back. Still gripping his horns, you pull his face closer as you reach your peak. He happily obliged and slurped up all you had to give him till you went limp in his hold.
Sylus admired his work. Red claw marks and hickeys decorated your thighs as your pussy leaked with juices from the prior engagement. "Tired already?" he asked, licking his lips, his lizard-like tongue flicking out. "The fun has just begun." He spoke with a teasing lilt in his voice. His claws wrap around your thighs once more, and he drags you towards him before flipping you over.
He pulls your hips up, leaving your torso slumped against the ground and your pussy on display, enticing him more. He couldn't help the primal growl that escaped his lips when he saw how slick your thighs became, the sweet essence dripping slowly along your slit. You yelp out, feeling his rough hand come down harshly onto your exposed skin. You were left defenseless, however, you weren't ready to put an end to such a blissful experience just yet. "Who are you?" You whined out, feeling him toss you around like a ragdoll.
"Your beloved. The one destined for you. Don't you feel it?" He said lowly, his hips lining up with yours. You couldn't place it, but something deep within you couldn't resist him, and it wasn't just the aphrodisiac. Your whole being screamed to let him consume you. It was as he said. It was meant to be.
The tip of his cock grazed your wet entrance. The sliver of clarity he had left was now gone with the wind. His primal instincts taking over him once more.
"Gonna stuff you full and breed you." He murmured to himself. "Make you mine forever." You could barely catch what he said when he plunged himself deep into you. Another cry escaped your lips. The sensation was overwhelming. You were full beyond comprehension. Sylus's incoherent rambling paired with the sensation—of what you now realize as both your holes being plugged—has you reeling, eyes rolled back, mouth agape while your spit pooled below you.
"Taking my cocks so well-"he grunted out as he continued to thrust into you with no abandon. Desperately, you claw at the ground, unable to find purchase in the flat rocky surface.
"W-Wait!" However, your cries went unheard as lust overtook his mind fully. His only objective was breeding you. Unfortunately for you, you managed to saunter into his lair during mating season, completely oblivious to what the cycles and rituals entail. You fell into his claws at the exact moment he needed you most.
You felt yourself slip further into lust, finding it hard to resist throwing your hips back onto him, which he was pleased to see. "That's my good fucking girl." He growled, claws digging deeper into your skin, drawing blood. His wings began to beat loudly against the air as his pleasure heightened.
The sting of pain caused you to wail out, to which he leaned down and bit the flesh of your body, sinking his fangs in. The pain soon turned to pleasure, your whimpers of discomfort turning to moans of pleasure as he plowed your holes mercilessly.
"Better?" His pace slowed as he asked. You nodded vigorously, praying he didn't stop. "Please—don't stop." You choked out. You were starting to think his pace couldn't be more feral, but you were wrong. His pace quickened, hips slamming harshly against yours.
The familiar coil in your stomach pulls tighter, feeling the tip of his cock assault your cervix. You clawed at the stone, needing desperately to ground yourself for this deliciously impending high.
"Sylus! I'm almost-"he cut you off, claws digging further into your hips. You managed to get onto your palms, throwing your head back, reaching for him in the process. He noticed this and leaned down, growls spilling into your ear, and he continued to thrust into you. "I'm so close, Love." He grunted out, his movements growing sloppy, wings beating faster.
You could feel yourself creeping closer to your climax. He bit down harshly on your shoulder, another wave of ecstasy coursing through your veins, your moans echoing loudly in the cave.
"Cumming!" You screamed, throwing your head back onto his shoulder. A surge came through you, squirting onto his cock. This sent him tumbling over the edge, his cum flooding your walls as he let out a final grunt, emptying himself into you.
You attempted to pull yourself off him with the little energy you could muster but found yourself unable to move. Clenching around him, he hissed. "Stay still." He commanded, his knot buried deep inside you. Unaware of your situation, you make an attempt once more to pull yourself off once more but felt that same resistance.
"Sylus what—"he hissed out once more, his resolve weakening the more you moved. "Stay. Still." You obeyed and didn't move. Before you could react, he quickly pulled out with a pop. Turning you to face him.
"My gods, you're beautiful." The tear stains on your cheeks, the flush of your face, and the bite marks and hickeys that littered your skin were a sight to behold. He could feel himself getting hard again.
Not giving you much of a choice, he plunged one of his cocks inside you, the other resting on your clit, creating a delicious friction against your bundle of nerves. The dual sensation fills your senses with nothing but pleasure. Your legs locked around his waist, the scales of his tail brushing harshly against your skin.
"Oh fuck—"Not waiting a moment longer. He began thrusting deep into your womb, creating a bulge in your tummy. Sylus drew back, leaving just the tip of his cock inside, the other one flicking your clit when he shoved himself back in.
Your mouth fell open in a silent cry, eyes screwed shut as he continued his punishing pace. Tears pricked your eyes, spilling past your eyelids and cascading down your cheek.
Sylus leaned down once more, biting your skin and leaving yet another mark, the pleasure flowing throughout your body. You let out broken sobs and cries of pleasure as he plunged in and out of you, his other cock abusing your clit.
You couldn't help but squirm. The sensation was too much for you to bear, seeing as you barely recovered from your last orgasm. In an attempt to scramble away, your thighs subconsciously pushed against him, trying to force his body away from yours.
His tail whipped up and wrapped around your thigh, prying your legs open, creating more room for him. "Relax. You can handle it." He said lowly into your ear. Your thigh was pressed firmly against the surface of the stone, his hips not faltering in their abusive pace.
With nothing more left within you, your arms wrapped around his shoulders, nails digging into his back, grazing dangerously close to his wings. He moaned loudly, almost stumbling into your shoulder.
You noticed this and toyed with the joining of his wings and shoulder blades. His throaty moans spill from his lips and into your ear. Wings beating loudly.
Watching in a lustful daze, his movements became as desperate as ever, chasing his high that was dangling within reach. "S-Sorry love." He groaned out. Sorry?
"S-Sorry for w-"his arms wrapped fully around you. His large figure covering yours entirely as he squeezed your body against his, pounding into your swollen cunt. "Oh, gods!" You cried out, feeling the brute force of his body against your weaker one.
He couldn't help the pleasure that wracked through him. The feeling of your velvety walls wrapping him perfectly coaxed out of him another orgasm, sending you tumbling with him. His wings flared out as he filled you up once more, the echo of your moans dying at the far ends of the cave.
You whimpered out weakly, feeling him collapse onto you. "Sylus." Every bit of your body ached in a way that made you want more. You felt him shift, resting on his elbows to stare at you.
"Yes, My Love?" You couldn't help but question him. How uniquely he greeted you, how does he even know what he claimed was true? "Why?" You managed to breathe out. "You don't even know me."
"My Love, I have waited centuries for you, and finally, you fell into my lap. I knew it was you when you walked in." None of it made sense; logically, it was something you could not fathom, but deep within, you couldn't deny the undeniable allure he had on you.
"It must have been fate for me to be cast out of Philos then." Your statement hung in the air silently. His response was nothing more than a hum as he nuzzled into your neck.
"It seems we have lost time to make up for then." His tongue flicked out to lick your old bite marks. His hips moved slowly against yours once more, causing you to whimper out. He chuckled at your little whimper, and you couldn't help but return it with a giggle, pulling him closer. "Well, what are we waiting for?"
#lads#lads smut#lads fanfic#love and deep space#lads sylus#l&ds#l&ds sylus#love and deepspace#self love#love and deepspace sylus#sylus qin#sylus love and deepspace#qin che#sylus x you#sylus x reader
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Tying His Tie : ̗̀➛ Charles LeClerc
summary: when charles struggles to tie his tie for the event, he's lucky you're there to help him out and help him look dashing in his suit
You struggled to hold back your laughter as a frustrated sigh came from Charles once again. Your hands straightened your dress out in the corner of your bedroom, glancing back at the commotion that was going on from the other side of the room.
Charles unwrapped the tie from around his neck again, throwing it down on the bed. His brows furrowed as Charles stared cluelessly at his reflection in the mirror, trying to figure out how for some reason he just wasn’t able to tie his tie for the evening.
You picked the tie up off of the bed, walking across the room so that you were stood in front of Charles. His expression softened as soon as he saw you, resting his hands upon your waist.
“Look at you,” he proudly grinned, his eyes trailing down to the ground and back up again. “I can’t believe I get to go to this dinner with the most beautiful girl in the world.”
“And luckily for you, a girl who can tie a tie too,” you teased, lifting Charles’ collar up.
Charles stood still as you took the tie and placed it around his neck. You stood up on your tiptoes to make sure that the tie was straight before taking the two lengths and letting them hang in front of Charles’ chest, taking the thicker side and wrapping it around the thinner side.
His smile was wide as Charles watched the concentration on your face, wanting to make sure that it was perfect. It was one of the few things that he just couldn’t get the hang of, usually relying on a member of his team to help him to tie it properly.
“Why does tying a tie have to be so difficult?” Charles murmured underneath his breath.
You smiled up at him as you tucked the thick edge through the knot, “it’s easy once you get the hang of it.”
You stood back and looked at the knot you had before tightening it so it sat at the top of Charles’ shirt, tucking the thin piece behind the thick, letting it hang perfectly.
Once you were happy with what you had done, you went over to the bedroom door and took Charles’ dinner suit jacket off of the hanger. His hands reached back as you slipped it on, pushing it over his shoulders. Your smile was wide as you stood back again, taking in just how smart Charles looked dressed in his suit, perfect for the charity event you were attending for the evening.
Charles took a step to his right and looked in the mirror again, twirling around in front of it as he admired how nice he looked too.
“You’ve never looked better,” you complimented, only to watch Charles take the tie in his hands.
“I want to have a go at doing it.”
“Are you sure?” You asked, watching as Charles loosened the knot. “Too embarrassed to admit that your girlfriend had to tie your tie for you tonight?”
“It’s about time I learn how to do it,” Charles told you, unfastening it before tucking it underneath his collar and letting the ends hang either side of him.
“I’ll help you, we can tie it together.”
Charles listened closely as you told him what to do, carefully following your instructions. It took a couple of attempts, but soon enough Charles had his own tie, that he had fastened himself, and a proud smile on his face as he checked himself out in the mirror.
“Good job,” you grinned, pulling Charles towards you by the end of his tie, “you look so handsome LeClerc.”
Charles leant down and pressed a kiss against your cheek before sliding his jacket back on again. His arm snaked around your waist and pulled you into his side, turning the two of you so that you were both staring at yourselves in the mirror.
His eyes were wide as Charles studied you both closely, wondering how he ever got so lucky. He couldn’t wait to show you off for the evening and introduce you to everyone. By far, Charles knew you were going to be the best-looking couple at the event for the evening.
“That’s quite a good tie you’ve got going on there,” you teased, tugging against Charles’ tie. “Carlos will be so proud to know that you tied this all by yourself.”
“That’s the first thing that I plan on telling him tonight just so you know.”
“You’ve achieved all sorts in your career, and yet somehow tying your own tie seems like the proudest achievement of them all,” you laughed.
Charles smiled down at you as your hands pressed against his cheeks, stretching up in search of yet another kiss from Charles, which he gratefully gave you.
“Thank you for teaching me how to finally do it,” he whispered in reply.
Charles slipped his hand into yours, grabbing your bag from your dresser beside the door. He turned the bedroom light off before leading you down the stairs. You grabbed your heels whilst Charles got his dinner shoes, kneeling down to tie his laces before moving across the floor to you.
“I’ve got it,” Charles told you, helping to tie the buckle of your heels before you bent down and did it, not wanting for you to ruin your dress.
You stood still as Charles made sure they were both fastened tight before standing up again. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to keep my hands off of you tonight,” you told him, straightening out his jacket.
“That’s funny, because I was thinking the exact same thing.”
Charles’ smile turned up once again as he grabbed his keys from the side, opening up the door to your apartment. The chill took you by surprise, standing further into Charles’ side in search of warmth.
“Part of me doesn’t even want to go tonight anymore, I wish we could just stay here,” Charles told you, closing the door behind him.
You nodded in agreement with him, “I don’t think the mega rich Ferrari sponsors would be particularly happy about that somehow though love.”
“Screw them,” he chuckled, “none of them are as important to me as you are anyway. Like I want to spend any time with them when I’ve got you.”
“You can brag to them all about how you managed to tie your own tie,” you teased, bringing the smile back to Charles’ face again.
You headed down the elevator of your apartment block to where the car was parked to take you both to the event for the evening. Neither of you were particularly fussed about attending, but for the sake of Charles’ career, you knew you at least had to put on a smile.
Charles grabbed the door, holding it for you to climb in, “did I mention tonight how beautiful you look?”
“You might’ve mentioned it once or twice,” you smiled, climbing into the car.
“And I promise to keep telling you too.”
Charles ran around and joined you in the car, resting his hand over the top of yours as soon as he was seated with his seatbelt fastened. Your head rested against Charles’ shoulder, careful not to ruin his jacket by getting any makeup on it.
“I can’t wait to show you off tonight,” Charles grinned, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
“Don’t be silly, I know you’ll be showing your tie off instead.”
˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#charles leclerc#charles leclerc imagine#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 reaction#formula 1 x you#formula 1 fanfic#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc drabble#formula one x you#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1 fic#formula one#f1 drabble#f1 fluff#f1 x you#f1 fic
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Weaknesses part 5: complexes
Note: this is jokes!! Please don’t take my cartoon pathologizing too seriously!
cw: some daddy kink level stuff
Gaz has a soft spot for girls who suffer from oldest sister syndrome. Girls that are a little world weary and too grown up at too young an age from caring for others while not having people to rely on. He just loves how pleasantly surprised you are literally every time he does something helpful that you didn’t ask him to do. Doing the dishes. Spackling that hole from the picture you took down. Refilling the air in the tires. Bleaching the bathtub. Very small things— but you’re so used to being the only one who can stay on top of things. Literally the high he gets from telling you to sit down and relax is unparalleled.
Soap is, quite frankly, into girls who grew up thinking they were ugly. It’s a terribly selfish, but he likes telling you all of the dirty things he thinks of doing to you, how he feels like someone’s knocked him upside the head when you enter a room in a new outfit, how he has to take a cold shower every time you’re going out to some event and he gets to see you dressed up. Honestly, he has to take the cold showers pretty regularly. Seeing how you’re flustered, and you don’t 100% believe the things he says— so he has to put in the time to make you believe him. You’re the kind of girl boys would dare each other to ask out in middle school, and now Soap has the absolute pleasure of convincing you that sometimes you make him so turned on that he thinks he’s about to throw up.
Ghost likes outcast girls. He likes how you eye him with a little bit of suspicion when he chooses to hang around you. He sort of gets this idea in his head that he’s the only one that can handle your eccentricities— handle you. That other people are afraid to approach you but he’s not afraid of anything. That his interest in you is because honestly, he has a much more refined palate than any of the shitheads you’re surrounded by. And you know what? He likes the idea of you as a couple being the scary, freak ass couple. Two lone wolves becoming mates.
Price likes former gifted students. He loves that you’re talented and quick, yes, but he also can’t help but get excited by all of that pressure that’s on you— that you put on yourself. He gets to be the one that relieves it. He’s the one that gets to lavish you in praise, and he’s also the one who gets to pin you down and force you to take it easy for a little while. He loves gently handling any mistakes or missteps, rationally perceived or otherwise. Because he can tell no one’s ever bothered to treat you so gently, have they, sweetheart? They’ve just been content to push you to your limits and have you run yourself ragged because you’re special. You are, he won’t deny it— but you’re also a little thing that hasn’t seen enough nurturing, in his eyes.
König loves so called “high maintenance” girls. Girls with high standards who know what they want, who have gone through some partners that couldn’t take the heat. He gets a very unique sense of control out of it— knowing all of your rules, rituals, likes, dislikes. Like Ghost, he likes thinking of himself as the only person who knows how to handle you— that everyone before him has just been unworthy of you. That he is strong where others have been weak. And you know what? It’s not rotten work. Not to him. Not if it’s you. He’s just built different.
Nikolai… I’m just going to say it. He likes girls with daddy issues. He kinda throws his whole self into relationships at times, and he likes it when he can be your everything. Your love, your friend, your hero, your source of approval from an older man. And he loves a brat. Because he knows you only act that way because someone didn’t pay attention to his special girl in the past. You’re testing him— daring him, unsheathing your claws to see if he’ll flinch and he never will. He’ll endure it all and chip at your defenses until you’re the soft, satisfied, sweet girl he knows you really want to be. Lavishing you with praise and attention, bragging about you to anyone who will listen. He wants you to have a complete breakdown because you’ve been holding it all in and putting up walls for so long that you don’t even know how to cope with being in the arms of someone who will always catch you when you fall.
#if you see me going crazy for Nikolai in my posts no you didn’t#writing#cod fanfic#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#john soap mctavish x reader#simon riley x reader#könig#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x you#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny mactavish#simon ghost riley x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick#nikolai x reader#nikolai cod#cod nikolai x reader#Nikolai#nikolai belinski#könig x you#könig x reader#könig cod#könig call of duty#john price x reader#captain john price#john price#cw daddy kink#weaknesses
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Made With Love
It takes one bite for Eddie to suspect he's done something wrong. A second bite confirms it. He's fucked up somehow and cannot for the life of him remember what it was.
Did he miss an important date of some sort? It couldn't have been their anniversary because that's August 13th (Eddie's new favorite day of the year, for obvious reasons). He absolutely didn't miss Steve's birthday. Not with how long he and Robin had spent planning the damn thing. (Eddie is never throwing another surprise party in his life; the stress of secret keeping was too much to bear.)
... Did he miss Robin's birthday?
No. That can't be. Steve would never let him miss that.
It could be one of the Party's birthdays, but Eddie doesn't think that's a transgression that would warrant this.
This, of course, being his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
"What, your peanut butter's gone bad?"
Eddie lifts his eyes from the proof of Steve's anger at him to his coworker, Charlie, sitting across the table from him in the closet that Thatcher claims is the break room. "No. It's much worse than that, I'm afraid."
"Well, don't keep me in suspense," Charlie deadpans.
"This sandwich wasn't made with love," Eddie whines, looking back at the sandwich with as much sorrow as he can muster. He sets the sandwich down on the baggy he had pulled it out of so that he can frown down at it without having to touch the offending creation.
"Ah shit," Charlie says, voice filled with empathy. This is why he's Eddie's favorite coworker. He gets it. Possibly because he's the only person who's tasted the difference for himself, back when Eddie'd just started at Thatcher Tires. "What'd'ya do?"
"I don't know!" Eddie wails. "Everything was fine when I left this morning, or I thought it was anyway."
"Ain't your misses pretty good at lettin' you know you done fucked up?" Charlie, like the best coworker that he is, looks surprised that Eddie doesn't know what he's done. He's right, too. Steve is the goddamn king of petty, and Eddie has never struggled to know when Steve's mad at him. The struggle usually comes from Eddie refusing to be in the wrong.
(That's not to say that Eddie is always in the wrong. He's not. Sure, a good percent of their arguments Eddie is the one at fault and he's mature enough to admit so once the argument is over, but it's not always his fault.)
Anyway, the point is, regardless of who's at fault, Steve is angry at him about something and for the first time in months Eddie doesn't know what for. They'd promised each other, after their first very big fight that almost ended in a breakup and was over a misunderstanding, that they would tell each other why they're mad or upset or feeling some type of way. So for Eddie to not know...
He thinks he might have fucked up big time.
"I know!" Eddie cries, shoving the sandwich away from him to make room to drop his forehead onto the table, then turns to smoosh his cheek against the table so he can look at Charlie. "Charlie. Charlie what do I do?"
Charlie blows out a long breath, thinking, before he gives a decisive nod and says, "you gotta beg forgiveness."
Eddie knows Charlie's right. He doesn't know what he did but he's going to beg forgiveness anyway.
Which is how he now finds himself in the small floral section of the grocery store looking over the sad, wilted bouquets after work. His arms are already full with Steve's favorite ice cream, candies, an over-priced little blue teddy bear that's holding an 'It's A Boy!' card that Eddie plans to rip off, and a blank card with a painting of sunflowers on it that he plans to wax poetry about Steve inside.
The final part of his groveling is, of course, the flowers. It's the wrong season for sunflowers, so Eddie was going to settle for roses. It's just that these roses are all sad looking. They don't really scream 'I Love You More Than Anything Else In The World, Please Forgive Me For What I've Done' though.
Let it never be said that Eddie doesn't know how to beg forgiveness.
He ends up picking the least wilted looking bouquet, one with white and yellow flowers he can't name.
The cashier is an older lady who takes quick catalogue of his items and asks, "is it your anniversary, darling? Or, oh!" She picks up the blue bear and Eddie feels his ear heating with embarrassment as she coos, "are you expecting? How exciting!"
"Err, no, not, uh, no. It's just blue is hi-her favorite color, so I was planning to just cut off the little card," Eddie stutters out the lie. Blue isn't Steve's favorite color but Eddie's used to making up many little lies when talking to strangers. Being hate-crimed is not a passion of Eddie's. "I, uh, messed up. And I don't know what I did, but I'm going to make it right."
The lady smiles at him and gives him a firm nod as she scans the items. "Smart boy. I'm sure she'll forgive you."
Eddie gives her a smile he hopes isn't as tight-lipped as it feels on his face.
Back in the safety of his van, Eddie roots around until he finds a pen and gets to writing all the things he loves about Steve in the card and all the things he hopes they'll get to have in the future. Nothing they haven't spoken about before, but it still makes Eddie a little emotional writing it all down.
Once he's done writing, he pulls his pocket knife out and cuts off the 'It's A Boy' card from the bear, crumpling it up and tossing it in the back of the van to be forgotten. He shoves the sunflower card in it's place. His card is a bit wider than the previous one here so it stays in place, albeit precariously. He'll be careful handing it over to Steve.
He knows that Steve is at home already. Steve's always home first because he's off work at four compared to Eddie getting off work around five.
Well. Closer to five-thirty today with his stop at the grocery store. He really hopes that whatever has Steve mad at him isn't time related. Being late home without calling might earn him no favors if it's a time-based blunder.
Steve is in the kitchen, back to the door since he's facing the stove, as Eddie expected he might be. Which means that Eddie doesn't get to lay out all his Items of Forgiveness across the counter like he had hoped but that's okay. If the love of his life has chosen to forgive him, he knows Steve will be just as overjoyed to rifling through a bag of goodies as he would to pick them off the counter.
"Hi sweetheart," Eddie says, words oozing with adoration and sweetness.
"Hi baby," Steve's tone matches Eddie's, like an instinct to match Eddie's energy has written itself into Steve's DNA. And it might have. Eddie knows the reverse is true.
Steve turns from the stove, then, and his face lights up with delight and surprise. "What's all this?"
"Your favorite things, because I love you," Eddie says, raising his arms a bit. The grocery bag is looped over his wrist with flowers in one hand and the bear in the other.
Steve looks positively smitten.
Eddie is nailing this apology that isn't an apology. And let it be known; he cannot say he's sorry. It'll ruin everything. Because Steve, his wonderful, beautiful, kind and loving Stevie, will cock one perfect little caterpillar eyebrow and ask if Eddie knows what he's apologizing for, and Eddie will have to say he doesn't know and that isn't something he's willing to do. Especially not when it's looking like whatever Steve was mad about has completely slipped Steve's mind, too.
"I got your favorite ice cream, too, so we might want to get that into the freezer," Eddie says, passing the bear and card to Steve and shimmying around him to get to the freezer.
He lays the flowers on the counter and sets to emptying the bag. Ice cream in the freezer and goodies on the counter, while Steve reads the card silently behind him.
He knows he's successfully made up for whatever it was he had done, because Steve crowds him against the fridge shortly after setting the card down and turning the stove burner off, kissing him breathless.
Eddie even gets desert before dinner, with Steve all but dragging him to their bedroom.
-
The reddit post that inspired this -
#steddie#my fic#Steve's not even mad or upset. He was running a bit late and asked Robin to make Eddie's sandwich for him while he finished getting ready.#Robin just grabbed the wrong jelly not even knowing it was the wrong one.#but yes... steve does do the thing the lady in the reddit story does
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The Eyes Of Cats MASTERPOST
Street Humans / Introduction
Domestic Humans
Shelter Humans/Alien Alphabet
FAQ and BOUNDERIES under the cut
FAQ
" What happened to CAT cats?" - They have been extinct long before the invasion, not including big and wild cats though " Do the humans have cat DNA?" - Nope! They are fully human! I just make them look like cats as an artistic choice "What time frame?" - its still 2024, the invasion started at around 2008 "How did Aliens invade?" - The Zoo theory is real in this world! Aliens kinda just stepped in cuz we were destroying ourselves. " Do Aliens do [insert think that we do with cats]" - If there is a human/cat equivalent, there is a Alien/human equivalent! - that includes toys, memes, dressing them up, weed(catnip) and even the alien equivalent of beastiality (You cannot kiss the aliens that's illegal) " What happens if Humans try to attack/shoot/stab an alien?" - They don't die like we do! That's like scratching at them
BOUNDERIES
"Can I make OCs In TEOC?" - Yess!! Multiple people already have and they make me so happy! do whatever, as long as you're happy and having fun!! " Can I make Fanfics/dubs/fanart?" - Yes and please show me!! That would be lovely!! " Can I ship the characters/self ships/ OC x Canon?" - go for it girl!! as long you're not a proshipper you're free!
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come on into my bed with me (i know you want to)
pair: old man!logan howlett x fem!reader
wc: 4.1k
contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, swearing, some sad vibes because i can't function without them, large age gap (but isn't that obvious by now? mid 20s/old as fuck), established relationship but only kind of, falls in the logan 2017 timeline but very loosely, LONGINGGGG, gratuitous nickname use (kid, baby, honey, ect), nasty dirty talk cause he's old and gross, not so dry humping, JUST THE TIP RAHHHH, porn w/o plot, no use of y/n.
nat’s note: this was heavily inspired by imogen heap's 'i am in love with you' because that song fucks so hard and it really gave me lots of old man logan vibes. i was just so overcome with nasty thoughts that the beat possessed me and i blacked out and listened to it on a constant repeat while i wrote this instead of doing my a&p work. kisses!
dividers by angel @saradika-graphics!
you can't sleep, logan left his door open...
Rain pelts at the smudged glass of your window, drops trailing down the span of the panes that you follow with your eyes.
It's been raining nearly all week, a rare thing in Mexico, especially somewhere as dry as Sonora.
You used to love the rain. You felt a special kind of comfort anytime night would come and there'd be a certain chill swirling through the air, that familiar scent of damp soil and wet stone rising as the first drops hit the ground.
In Sonora, rain is supposed to be a gift—a reprieve from the unrelenting heat, a chance for the dry earth to drink.
It should feel cleansing, like a reset of sorts, and maybe it would have a few months ago.
Now it just feels heavy, oppressive. Each raindrop splattering against the glass feels like a reminder of everything that's stuck, unmoving.
The soft noise of it was almost enough to lull you to sleep, but it was still no match for your wandering mind.
You’ve been finding yourself here a lot recently, shrouded in the scratchy sheets of your bed in the quiet dark encompassing your room, mind racing.
It was raining the first night he touched you.
You've been with Logan and Charles for nine months.
A runaway hitchhiker turned caretaker after you fled from the meaningless scraps of your life back in Texas.
Logan found you on the side of the highway coming back from a shift in El Paso. One stop with the hazards on and a hasty conversation through a rolled down window later, you were throwing your bags in the back of his limo and climbing into the front seat.
You didn't realize until much later that he never truly asked you to stay, or to care for Charles alongside him.
It was only supposed to be a temporary arrangement, a roof over your head in exchange for your help. Watch over his ailing father for a few days while he went out to get him more medicine, that's what you settled on.
Yet somehow, here you are, nine months later.
You cook meals in a dusty kitchen that always smells faintly of motor oil, listen to Charles’ stories about a world you’ll never fully grasp, and watch Logan patch himself up in grim silence after he’s returned from whatever trouble found him this time.
It's strange how the days seemed to stretch endlessly, but the weeks have slipped past like a blink. You carved out a routine in this crumbling house in Sonora, built something that resembles a life even if it feels borrowed, like a second-hand coat that never quite fits right.
At first, you weren’t sure what kept you here. Maybe Charles.
You warmed to him almost immediately, drawn in by his gentle demeanor and the way he seemed to see right through you without a hint of judgment.
Even when his mind faltered, slipping into tangled memories or distant fragments of a life long past, he treated you with a kindness you hadn’t felt in years.
You’d come to think of him as a king, regal and noble. A king stripped of his castle, yet still wearing a crown, if ever so skewed—a king nonetheless.
You still aren’t sure, but you can’t shake the sense that leaving now would be like tearing off a scab—painful and unnecessary.
And then, one night, the rain came.
You remember it vividly, a torrent so sudden and unrelenting. The downpour soaking the dry dirt surrounding the plant.
You couldn’t help yourself from wandering out, stood barefoot on the porch as the cool air nipped at the skin of your arms and legs.
“You’re gonna catch a cold standin’ out here.” Logan said from somewhere behind you, his voice rough and low after the silence of a long shift.
You hadn’t moved, hadn’t even glanced his way. “I like the rain.”
There was a beat of silence before he stepped closer, the warmth of his body radiating against your back. His hand had been hesitant at first, a brush of calloused fingers against your arm.
You didn’t pull away.
The heat of his palm felt scalding, causing goosebumps to pebble along your damp skin. His thumb swiped across the circular scar just above your elbow, a cigarette burn, one of many.
He didn’t say anything as he turned and walked back into the house. You learned quickly that Logan’s not the type to fill silences with empty words, but you both knew something shifted.
He came into your room later that night. The squeaky mattress of your bed dipping under his weight as he slid his hand down your stomach, pausing just above the waistband of your shorts, a silent question.
He didn’t kiss you, but the rain pattering against the tin roof was enough to swallow your soft moans and gasps.
You settled into something undefined—a constant push and pull of need and silence. Logan touched you when he needed to, and you let him because you wanted to.
It wasn’t love, not then. It wasn’t even comfort. But it was connection. A tenuous thread in the quiet storm of your lives.
You figured that was enough.
The rain hasn't slowed. If anything, the howl of the wind is stronger than before.
The soothing rhythm of droplets hitting your window turned aggressively sharp, like darts thrown against a worn cork board.
The boom of thunder is nearly in sync with the pulse of your core, aching and insistent in its need.
It’s been weeks since Logan touched you last, his endless cycle of guilt stronger than it's been before. He’s never outright said it, but you know it’s there.
The silence between you both has stretched longer than you'd like to admit, a quiet that isn't comfortable anymore.
You know he’s got it in his head that he’s somehow taken advantage of you. A perverted old man falling weak to the pretty, young thing taking up space in the bed two doors over from him.
The thought stirs something deep within you, a mix of frustration and confusion. He’s not wrong, not exactly—but he’s not right either. You aren’t a child, and you aren’t helpless. You knew what you wanted, what you needed.
And that hasn’t dared to change.
You shift in bed, the sheets tangling around your legs as your body hums with a restlessness you can’t shake. The air in your room feels thick, charged, and suffocating, a mirror of the space between you and Logan.
He doesn’t understand that you want him too, that you weren’t some helpless thing to be protected or shielded from his darkness. It eats at you until your skin is practically buzzing with it, buzzing with the need to show him.
There’s only so much silence you can take before it becomes too loud to ignore.
You swing your legs over the edge of the bed, the hardwood cool against your bare feet. You know it’s late, but you don’t care.
You walk through the dimly lit hallway, the creak of the floorboards quiet under you as you make your way to Logan’s door. It’s cracked open, a yellow glow spilling through to guide you like a lighthouse guides its ships to shore.
When you reach the beat up wood you don’t hesitate, you push it open the slightest bit, peering through the widened gap.
He’s there, sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to you. He doesn’t turn, doesn’t acknowledge you, but you know he knows you’re there.
You cross the threshold, your heartbeat loud in your ears as you pull the door shut behind you, leaning your back against it.
“Logan,” you say softly, your voice rougher than you intended.
He doesn’t respond right away. Instead, he runs his hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face. The lamplight catches the sharp planes of his face, a familiar weariness etched into his features.
His fingers flex at his sides, and for a moment, you think he’s going to tell you to leave—to go back to your room where it’s safe, where you won’t make things more complicated than they already are. You almost brace for it.
But then he speaks.
“What’s wrong, kid.” His voice is nothing but a deep rumble, like gravel crunching underfoot.
You shrug noncommittally, hands messing with a stray thread hanging from the edge of your shorts. “Can’t sleep.”
Logan sighs long and slow through his nose, hands pressing into his thighs. “Thought you liked the rain.”
You smile faintly at the irony, chest swelling with something dangerous.
You take a step further into the room, pushing yourself off the closed door. The familiar scent of him invades your senses. It’s a mixture of leather, earth, and something raw—something undeniably him.
You stand there for a moment, letting the silence stretch thin and taut before you finally speak.
“Can I stay?” The words come out barely above a whisper, but they land like a crack of lightning.
You feel your heart thud painfully in your chest, not from fear, but from the sudden vulnerability that makes your skin burn.
The room feels smaller now, the walls pressing in as you step forward, each movement slow and deliberate. You stop at the edge of his bed, the sheets pressing against the bare skin of your thighs.
Logan’s gaze flickers over his shoulder, meeting yours briefly before he looks away again, like he’s trying to convince himself that the ache in his chest isn’t real.
“You should go back to bed,” he says, voice gruff. “It’s late.”
“I don’t want to go back.” You shake your head even though he isn’t turned around to see it.
Without thinking, you crawl onto the bed, the comforter making soft shushing sounds under your hands and knees. You reach out, fingers brushing the back of his neck, the muscles there tight with strain.
Logan flinches slightly, but he doesn’t pull away, and that’s all the permission you need.
You shift closer, pressing your chest against his back, and letting your hands settle on his shoulders. The heat between you is electric, charged with something unsaid, something raw and undeniable.
“Please,” you whisper, your lips brushing against the back of his ear, your voice a mixture of defiance and desire.
Logan stiffens, but this time, you feel the shudder that runs through him, the way his body responds despite the walls he’s built around himself.
You know he’s torn, that he wants to fight this. You feel it in the tension that radiates from him, in the way his body seems to be fighting against the instinct to turn toward you.
But you don’t care anymore. You’re done with silence.
Your fingers slide down his back, feeling the rough fabric of his shirt against your skin as you press yourself closer. Your breath is hot against his neck now, and you can feel the rapid pulse in his veins beneath your lips as you hover just above his skin, waiting.
“Logan…” Your voice is softer now, almost pleading. You don’t know what you’re asking for, but you don’t have to.
His hand comes up, brushing against your wrist as if testing, as if he’s afraid you’ll pull away. But you don’t.
Instead, you lean into him further, your lips brushing the curve of his neck, whispering into the tension that still hangs heavy between you. “Please.”
The last shreds of Logan’s resistance snap under the cloying weight of your touch.
He’s moving before you can even register what’s happening, rearing up with heavy hands that land on your shoulders to push you backwards.
You fall back onto the bed with a soft gasp, bouncing on the mattress once, twice, before Logan follows. His body settles over yours like a warm blanket, thick forearms braced on either side of your head to support his weight.
"Why couldn't you sleep, honey?" he asks, dark eyes boring into yours intense enough to get your stomach churning. The green of them is deeper than normal, like fresh moss growing over stone.
“I was thinking,” you whisper, breathless. Your pulse races beneath your skin, you wonder distantly if he can hear it too.
“Thinkin’ about what?” he presses, breath fanning over your lips temptingly.
Your brows furrow, a soft noise escaping you. You can't help but tell the truth. “About you.”
Logan hums, eyes trailing along your face slowly. He slots a knee between your thighs, groaning softly at the wet heat that seeps through to his jeans.
You gasp, hips bucking down instinctively. Your pussy aches desperately, leaking arousal into the cotton gusset of your panties.
His jaw clenches at the sound, muscle ticking just beneath the grey of his beard. “Is that right? You been layin' in that bed, thinkin' about me, gettin’ all worked up?"
Your face burns under his scrutiny, but you don’t shy away. You arch your back, pressing yourself as close to him as possible, letting the heat of your body speak for you.
“Yeah,” you breathe, the confession trembling on your lips. “I need you, it hurts.”
Logan exhales sharply, like the words knocked the air out of him. His hands slide from your shoulders, rough palms gliding down the skin of your arms before settling right under the swell of your breasts.
“Where’s it achin’, baby?” he asks softly, words almost getting lost in the dark of the room. “Show me.”
You let out a soft breath, reaching down to take his hand in yours.
Without breaking eye contact, you guide his hand down your trembling body until his palm rests over the apex of your thighs, where the damp fabric of your shorts clings to your swollen folds.
“Here,” you whisper, voice barely audible above the rain pounding against his window.
A low growl rumbles from deep in his chest, and his fingers press more firmly against you, feeling the slick heat that’s soaked through the thin cotton. His eyes darken further, the green almost swallowed by the black of his pupils.
Logan’s thumb drags over your clit, slow and deliberate, coaxing a needy whimper from your lips.
“Jesus,” he mutters, his voice thick. “You’re drippin’ for me, aren’t you? Didn’t even need to touch you, and you’re already so fuckin’ wet.”
You whimper softly, bucking your hips against his hand, desperate for more.
"I've been like this all night," you admit, your voice going high and needy. "Thinking about how good you make me feel. How much I want you."
Logan’s eyes lock onto yours, and there’s something new swirling through them, something you’ve never seen before.
A beat passes—too long—almost agonizing. His free hand lifts from your hip, gently cupping your cheek, fingers brushing against your skin, like he isn’t sure if he has the right to touch you like this.
His thumb brushes your lip, his gaze flicking to your mouth before returning to your eyes, asking for permission, even though neither of you had ever really needed it before.
"Logan," you say, the sound a little breathless, unsure of how to navigate this sudden shift, but he doesn’t keep you waiting.
He closes the distance in a heartbeat, lips crashing into yours with a ferocity you didn’t expect.
It’s like the world around you falls away, leaving only the warmth of his lips, the taste of him, and the pressure of his body against yours. The raging storm outside dulling until it’s nothing but fuzzy background noise.
His kiss is rough, deep, urgent, but there’s something more in it, a slow unraveling. Like he’s trying to carve himself into you, a permanent mark, a reminder that he was here, even if he never says it out loud.
Logan tastes like rich smoke and whiskey, the sharp edge of him mixing with the sweet burn of need. It sends your head reeling, arms coming up to circle around his neck.
You can’t find the words to describe it, not with the way his fingers slide through the wetness gathering at your entrance, sending jolts of pleasure straight to your core.
Your hips thrust upward, begging for more, your body hungry for the release he’s just out of reach of giving.
“Want you inside me, Logan,” you moan desperately, slick lips brushing his with every word. “Please.”
Logan's body stiffens against yours at the sound of your pleading, his grip tightening on your cheek like he's trying to anchor himself in the reality of what you're asking.
“Shit,” he growls under his breath, his forehead pressing to yours as he closes his eyes. His chest heaves, the tension in his body palpable. "I—" he pauses, struggling to form the words, but you can see it in his eyes. He's conflicted, desperate, yet still hesitant.
You move against him, your body restless, your need undeniable, feeling the rigid outline of his hard cock pressed firmly against your thigh. A thick plane of heat that has your pussy clenching around the tips of his fingers.
You don’t want to push him, not anymore. But you’re past the point of waiting for permission.
Your lips meet his again, softer this time, coaxing, until he finally gives in, groaning against your mouth as he kisses you back with an intensity that steals your breath.
“I want to feel you,” you whisper, your hands trailing down to the hem of his shirt, pushing it over the swell of his pecs.
His skin is hot under your fingertips, rough and familiar. Your fingers trail lightly across his chest, nails scratching through the salt and pepper hair dusted across his skin as you urge him closer.
“Just the tip,” Logan mutters under his breath, barely above a whisper. His voice hoarse, like he’s bargaining with himself. “Just to make you feel good, but that’s it, understand?”
You bite your lip, the edge of frustration gnawing at you. It’s not everything you need, not everything you want, but it's something. And right now, it’s enough.
You nod your head, hands already moving to the front of his jeans. You undo the button with shaking fingers, tugging the zipper down and pushing the worn denim away.
His cock springs free, already hard, leaking with the same desperation you feel. You run your fingers along his length, feeling the heat of him, the steady throb of his pulse.
Logan peels down the thin layer of your shorts, cursing under his breath when he finds you completely bare underneath, your slick pussy shining under the dim light.
You watch him, chest heaving, as he stares down at you—his eyes dark and full of something primal, something raw.
“Fuck,” he breathes, his fingers tracing the outline of your wetness. He groans low in his throat, his thumb circling your clit once before moving down, dipping inside you just barely. “You’re perfect, baby.”
“Logan,” you whine, thighs spreading in a clear invitation. You patience is running exceedingly thin, your whole body alight with the feeling of a raging forest fire
“I know,” he mutters, placating. He takes the throbbing length of his cock in his hand, swiftly settling between your legs. “I know.”
The thick head drags through your folds, smearing pre-come along your skin and adding even more to the mess between your legs.
A quiet moan passes through your swollen lips, your muscles tightening as he slides himself along your clit. A slow back and forth movement that sends sparks shooting up your spine.
Logan grits his teeth, his breath shallow, as he finally aligns himself with your clenching hole.
The air around you feels charged, a taut thread stretched between anticipation and restraint. You shift your hips slightly, just enough to encourage him, your eyes locked on his as you beg him silently with your gaze.
Then, with a low growl that vibrates through you, he pushes forward, just enough to make you gasp in relief, the head of his cock sliding home in your entrance.
And though it’s only the tip, the sensation of him inside you is enough to set your world alight.
You can feel it, deep in your bones—the simmering, searing heat that makes everything else fade into the background.
Logan presses his lips to your forehead, his breath hot against your skin as he keeps his movements slow, deliberate, his hands holding your hips steady. "This is what you wanted, huh? Got you begging for it, honey," he growls softly. "Even if I’m only givin’ you a taste."
His hips roll languidly, staying true to his word and never sinking deeper than the thick head of his cock. His hand grips the base tightly, his fist fucking slow strokes over the length of himself to where he’s spreading your pussy open.
His scarred knuckles bump against your clit with every stroke, fanning the fire building in your lower stomach.
“Feel so fuckin’ good, honey,” he groans into the skin of your neck, the pace of his hips speeding up ever so slightly. “Feels like heaven.”
You claw at the skin of his back, touch wild and desperate. It takes everything in you not to shift your hips down, to sheath the rest of his cock deep inside your and lock your ankles around his back so he can never leave again.
Logan’s lips find your neck, teeth grazing your skin as he shifts against you. “Tell me you want this,” he says, his voice low, almost a command, yet laced with something tender. “Tell me you want me.”
You meet his gaze without hesitation, your voice steady despite the tremble in your chest. “I want you. I’ve always wanted you.”
The words come out without thought, raw and honest, and you see something in his eyes shift—a flicker of relief, of something deeper than lust.
Logan groans like he got shot, his body shuddering above you as a low growl tears its way from his chest. He fucks into you faster, short, quick thrusts that steal all the breath from your lungs.
Sparks go off behind your closed eyes, bright white and glittering. You can feel yourself getting closer, your body trembling as you grind up against him, meeting him halfway, needing more, needing release.
“Logan,” you gasp, your hands gripping his shoulders harder, nails digging in. “I’m so close. Please—”
“Let go,” he growls, his pace increasing, his body pressing harder against yours. “Come for me, sweetheart.”
With his command, you unravel, the world spinning around you as the pleasure crashes over you, leaving you breathless, gasping for air, your body quivering beneath him as he holds you through it.
Logan follows, tearing himself from the tight grip of your pussy with a sharp jerk of his hips, your name falling from his lips like a prayer as he shoots thick ropes of come over your slick folds.
Your body shakes at the feeling, a breathless whimper pulled from your slack lips at the sticky warmth of his release.
He collapses onto the mattress next to you, his body shuddering enough to match your own. The room falls into a deep silence, the only sounds your mingling breaths and the distant sound of thunder.
A sick sort of dread bursts through the sweet afterglow of your hazy mind, settling in your stomach like a lead weight. You think that this is the moment where Logan will realize what you’ve done, that he’ll retreat back into himself and send you away.
Send you back to your own room and leave you to lay in the cold aftermath of your own recklessness.
You brace for it, the instinct to pull away, to protect yourself from his withdrawal, but it never comes.
Instead, you feel his strong arm slide over your waist, pulling you closer, his body heat a stark contrast to the chill creeping in from the window.
His breath is warm against your neck as he shifts, his fingers tracing absent circles on your skin in a move that’s so endearingly human it has your chest aching.
"Stay here tonight?" he asks, his voice rough, almost a whisper.
Your heart clenches, tears burning at your waterline at the vulnerability of his tone. It breaks the dam inside you, relief and something dangerously close to love flooding your body in a bursting rush of water.
“Of course,” you murmur, your voice shaky.
Logan’s hand tightens around you, his thumb brushing over your ribs. He presses a soft kiss to the bare skin of your shoulder, settling onto the mattress with a slow breath.
You drift to sleep more relaxed than you’ve felt in years, even with the knowledge of the slow journey that lies ahead of you. It won’t be easy, it never is with Logan. You can’t find it in yourself to care.
Because even though the rain falls, the desert doesn’t bloom overnight.
And neither do you.
tags are now in the comments! if you want to get tagged for any of my works just fill out this form!
#— 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘢 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴 ♡#ᯓ★ 𝐧𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭!#natalia cant write anything under 1.000 words#this might be my favorite thing i've ever written...#like god i love it so much#hope you love it too!#kisses kisses kisses#mwah mwah mwah#old man!logan#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett smut#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine imagine#wolverine smut#x men x reader#x men smut#marvel x reader#marvel smut#mcu x reader#mcu smut
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summary: max’s gf seems to be getting more love than him
warnings: highkey sucks, short
pairing: fem! reader x max verstappen
genre: fluff, drabble
author note: about time i wrote max
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
flashback:
max has always been a private person and after his breakup with kelly piquet, he became even more closed off. it was even rare for him to even participate in streams nowadays. however, what no one knew was max had been taking time to reflect ( not do anything stupid — gp ) and managed to bump into y/n.
now, monaco isn’t a big place, but he’s never seen her before.
max was oddly intrigued, but he had just ended a relationship — but, it didn’t hurt to be friends, right?
it took him two full days of just staring before finally making a move.
“what brand is your laptop?”
okay, it wasn’t the best, but it was something.
y/n looked up at the strange and furrowed her eyebrows.
“um — ( brand name )?” he nodded and walked off
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
even to this day, y/n still teases max about it. back then, in his mind, he was proud of himself for actually saying something, but y/n thought he was a bit strange.
when they eventually became more friendly and comfortable around each other, he asked her out on a date. y/n was hesitant. she found out who he was and who he previously dated, his fans weren’t exactly the most supportive and she worried that it’d be the same, but max reassured her that he would say something if needed.
however, what none of them expected was how much love y/n would gain from them.
[ “he may be a 3 time world champion, but i will never understand how he bagged someone like her” ]
[ “MAX MOVE IM TRYING TO SEE Y/N” ]
[ “if i was dating someone like y/n, you would have to pry me off her — AWOOGA” ]
every time he posted, there would be comments asking about her. however, there was always one in particular would catch his eye.
[ “is your girlfriend single?” ]
he would just stare.
of course she isn’t single, they’re literally dating?
“you’re in the trenches mate” was what alex told him when he asked what they meant ( he needed someone who understood the internet )
“what?”
“it’s a good thing, don’t worry”
max didn’t think so.
call him possessive, but he felt the need to make them back off and posted a set of pictures for their anniversary along with a lengthy caption.
sadly, it didn’t work.
[ “i can call her the love of my life in a different language too” ]
[ “6/10 for spelling, 4/10 for punctuation, 3/10 for creativity” ]
[ “i could write more” ]
just like what alex said, max is in the trenches.
#f1#formula one#formula 1#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x yn#mv1#mv1 x reader#mv1 imagine#mv1 x you#mv1 one shot#mv1 x y/n#mv1 fluff#mv1 fic#mv33#mv33 x reader#mv33 fic#mv33 imagine#mv33 x you#mv33 fluff#mv33 x yn#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen one shot#mv33 one shot
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Through Me (The Flood) - secret baby fic Simon Riley/female reader
"Mama."
"That's right little man. That's mama." Orion tucks his face into Simon's chest, sleepy and confused. Simon knows he doesn't understand what's happening, why his mother is asleep in a bed, asleep for days without waking, asleep and hooked up to too many machines.
"Mama!" He screeches, swinging his body backwards, and Simon has to hold him tight, trying to keep him close. Cami says he's struggling, doesn't understand why he's at their house all the time, doesn't understand what's happened to his mum. He's confused, and scared, just a little boy in a world trying to hurt him.
"She's sleeping bub. Mama is sleeping." He bows his head, breathing his son in, swallowing the rattle in his chest. "She's sleeping."
You're sinking into that bed.
It's becoming a part of you, becoming all of you, and no matter how many times they bathe you and turn you and change the sheets, you stay tethered to it. In the mornings, when he begins his watch, he kisses your forehead, your cheeks, your mouth, keeping his eyes closed and wishing on nothing that yours will open.
"I'm sorry." He folds your left hand in his. They had to take the rest of your finger, all the way down due to infection, an agonizing reminder of your pain, your suffering. His failure. "I need you to wake up," he croaks in a voice he's only just learned to recognize, one filled with despair, with mourning. "You have to wake up. For Orion and the baby. For me."
He pleads. He bargains. He begs. He promises.
"I'm done now, mama. I'm done. I'll never leave you again. Never leave any of you. 'm taking a desk job, so I need you to wake up so you can be sick of me hanging around the house all day."
Still, nothing.
Once a week, your doctor wheels an ultrasound in to check on the baby. He stares at the screen with tears in his eyes, his hand covering yours.
It's a girl. A perfectly healthy little girl.
He didn't mean to find out but in the pandemonium of those first few days when they brought you here, it slipped his mind. The first time someone talked about the baby, they said her.
"Her heartbeat is strong, and there are no signs of trauma to the placenta. She's okay."
They left the room afterwards. Left him to his ugly, rib splitting sobs. Left him to press his palm to your belly and rest his head on the bed beside you, soaking the sheets with his tears.
A girl. Your Phoenix.
Today, the doctor asks him to step outside.
"We need to discuss some potential plans of care."
"What do you mean?"
"She's close to delivering, Simon. If she doesn't wake, we'll need to do a c-section." His heart stops. That's not supposed to be for months yet. How long have you been here?
"I thought... I thought we had more time."
"We do. Another five weeks or so, but I want to put a plan together, so you have time." Time. He needs more of it. So much more of it with you. He nods, and she gives him a sympathetic smile. "Simon, a newborn and a toddler is a lot of work. I want you to prepare for this possibility, okay?" He pushes it from his mind.
"She'll wake up before then." What the fuck does he know about these things? Nothing. But he refuses to live in a world where you miss the birth of your daughter, where you miss her first breath, her first cry, where you miss the moment where Orion holds his baby sister for the first time.
"Simon-"
"She will," he glares and she pats his shoulder before leaving him in the same spot, frozen, staring at the door to your room.
When he sinks back into his chair, resumes his post, he tugs your hand back into his.
"You'll wake up, mama. I know you will."
#peaches writes#through me (the flood)#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader
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₊‧ʚ・ gullible ⊹ ̟˖ ʚ
── ★ ˙ 18+ MDNI ̟ !!
dom!yunho, dom!mingi x fem!sub!reader. tw: corruption kink, size kink, slight cnc, somnophilia, praising, unprotected sex (pls use protection). lmk if i missed anything. summary: you should've known better.
best friends!yunho and mingi love having you sit between them. whether you're on the subway, at the club or on the couch binge watching old hollywood movies. you just look so small and fragile with your cute glossy eyes and pouty lips, they can't help but feel the urge to protect and be close to you all the time. sometimes, they'll sneak their arms around your waist or slip their hands between your thighs, large palms gently caressing your bare skin, but that's only because the movie is scary and they want to help you relax. right?
when you've had one too many drinks at hongjoong's after parties, yunho would beckon you to come over and sit on his lap. "y/n, c'mere." you'll snuggle up to him like a little kitten and lay your legs on mingi's as he absentmindedly fiddles with the straps of your heels, hooded eyes flitting from your lips to the curve of your breasts. from afar, people are staring and whispering but you don't care. because yunho and mingi always tells you "they don't know us, baby."
and you believe them. you believe them completely because best friends always tell the truth, right?
yunho and mingi are always there to catch you when you fall.
flat tire? calling yunho. "i'm on my way, angel." bad day? facetiming mingi. "talk to me, pretty girl." every time there's a minor inconvenience in your life, you're running straight to your favourite boys because they just know how to handle anything and everything with such ease and responsibility. problems fixed. cheque signed. "it's okay, angel, we got this."
no one loves you like yunho and mingi.
they love you so much.
so when mingi tells you to wear his t-shirt and only your panties to bed, you happily nod "okay!" with no second thoughts because he only wants you to feel comfortable when they cuddle you to sleep, right? that must be it.
i mean, you do this all the time; cuddling. it's a way for them to feel closer to you; 'bond' with you, as they put it.
you love cuddling sessions with yunho and mingi, they're always so gentle with you. your petite frame a perfect fit between their broad chests, legs the perfect length for mingi to slide his knee in between as he spoons you. your skin is so soft he could tear you open like a present but he wouldn't do that. no, not to his sweet angel girl. so instead, he snakes his arm under your shirt and pulls you closer to his body so you can feel how much he loves you.
"mhm, so perfect for me," he whispers in your hair, fingers playing with the thin lace of your panties. you smell like fresh cut roses.
"you like it when we touch you, angel?" yunho asks calmly, tracing his finger along your jaw and down your neck. face propped on his elbow, he watches with a smile as you soften under his touch, nodding and purring at the affection you're receiving from both men.
"i like it, yuyu."
"you'll do anything for me and mingi, right, baby?"
"mhm, anything for yuyu and mingi," you slur, fatigue creeping up your spine.
you feel mingi smile against the nape of your neck.
something about the air feels tight and different tonight but you don't question it. you don't want to question it. especially when yunho stares at you with so much tenderness, it leaves your heart grasping for more. it's intoxicating; their scents—clean and musky like the faint trace of skin.
as the night unfolds, your eyes flutter shut as sleep takes over you.
you love best friends!yunho and mingi. nothing in the world comes even close to the euphoria of being the object of their adoration.
so when you wake up to soft pants in your ear and an aching pain between your legs, would you still love them?
"f-fuck."
mingi's groan snaps you out of your haze as you gradually slip back into your senses only to find your panties slid to the side and your best friend's sloppy wet dick inside your barely stretched-out cunt.
the sound of skin on skin cuts through the quiet of the room as mingi slams his hip into your ass at a pace so desperate, so rough it leaves you clawing at yunho's sweater with tears in your eyes. "y-yuyu? what's happening?"
yunho looks at you with eyes you've never seen on him before—chilling and dark with lust. he's quiet, eyes trailing the way your breasts bounce with every hard thrust you're forced to take from behind. soft moans slip past your lips, melding with his best friend's strained groans and the squelchy sound of your sobbing cunt.
"told you she likes it," mingi chuckles, voice crazed and raspy, one hand sliding up to grab at your neck. "yeah, you like that, baby? tell yunho you like being woken up to my dick inside you."
"i– ngnhh– i like–" your mewls are cut off when mingi slips two fingers between your folds, toying at your clit like it belongs to him. like you belong to him.
"oh, my angel," yunho coos, caressing your cheek before slipping his thumb inside your mouth. "you're so naughty."
you want to tell him 'no'—no, you didn't ask for this. but who are you to act like you're not enjoying it when you're a spluttering mess in your best friend's bed.
"shh, why're you crying?" his words are so sweet yet mockery drips from every syllable. "now, now, don't cry, my angel. be good for mingi."
yunho revels in the sight of your teary cheeks as your tongue laps around his thumb, drool leaking onto your pillow. god, you're fucking beautiful, yunho thinks, feeling his dick swell with every helpless whimper you make. he grabs your jaw and slips his tongue in your pretty little mouth, sucking at your bottom lip, and swallowing any confusion you're still harbouring, because you're not meant to have any.
the rules have been clear from the start; you belong to them. not their fault you're too gullible to see what's in front of you all this time.
"you said you'll do anything for us, remember?" yunho breaths.
"y-yes— nngh—" you whimper, feeling the knot tighten in your stomach. "mingi, i can't—"
you're close and mingi can sense it from the way you're clenching around him.
"fuck– cum for me, baby. that's it ... that's it."
it only takes you digging your nails in his hair and letting out a scream of his name for mingi to cum. he empties inside you and drops his head on the pillow, letting out a guttural groan against the back of your neck as you both come down from your high.
"such a good girl," yunho smiles, stroking your hair lovingly, "always so good for us."
his smile quickly fades.
"now turn around."
#yunho#mingi#ateez x reader#mingi hard hours#yunho hard hours#ateez hard hours#ateez smut#mingi smut#yunho smut#mingi scenarios#yunho scenarios#yunho hard thoughts#mingi hard thoughts#yunho x reader#mingi x reader#ateez fluff#mingi fluff#yunho fluff#ateez scenarios#yunho imagines#mingi imagines#mingi drabbles#yunho drabbles#ateez
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wait for me to come home
alexia putellas x reader
word count: 14.1k
You and Alexia have been best friends your whole lives. You’re adamant that moving away from Barcelona won’t change a thing between you. Alexia fears otherwise.
or classic best friends to lovers :)
“Can’t believe you’re really leaving.” It was midnight. You were sitting on your usual spot at the beach with Alexia, your head on her shoulder, both of you staring out at the sea. Despite the tightness in her chest, Alexia felt at ease with you next to her.
“I can’t believe it either,” you replied, your voice barely a whisper.
Alexia took a deep breath. You were only going away for a year, you said. It did nothing to calm the nerves she felt all over. One year, but that would be the longest you've been away from each other. Alexia still didn’t know how to feel, she didn’t know what to feel. She figured it still hadn’t sunk in, that you were leaving. Leaving her.
In the morning when Alexia would drop you off at the airport and you’d wave goodbye, that was probably when she’d feel everything. That was probably when the feeling of emptiness would set.
“I’ll call you everyday,” you said, hugging Alexia’s left arm tightly. “It will be like I’m still in Barcelona with you.”
Alexia chuckled, “You don’t have to call me everyday, cariño.”
You turned your head towards your best friend. “Are you saying you don’t want me to call everyday?”
“Don’t twist my words!” Alexia laughed. “It’s just that I don’t want you to feel pressured to have to call me everyday. You’re a busy woman. I’m the one who waits for you whenever you have night shifts and I watch enough of your Meredith Grey shows to know how busy things at the hospital can be.”
You snickered at her mention of Grey’s Anatomy. Alexia would always complain about how unrealistic the show was whenever you put it on, yet she still stayed by your side and watched the damn thing. You placed your head back on her shoulder and sighed. “I don’t care if I’m busy, I’ll always make time for you.”
Alexia gulped. It was the way you said it, your voice small, yet your tone firm, as if a world where you didn’t have time for her was just impossible. “I love you, you know.”
Alexia furrowed her brows when you didn’t answer straight away like you always did. She was about to open her mouth to say something, when you pulled away and stood up, stretching your hand out for her to take.
“Do you want to head back?” Alexia asked.
“No,” you cleared your throat. “Let’s just walk around. The sand is making me itchy.”
“It’s because you’re wearing shorts,” Alexia took your hand and stood up. “I told you you can sit on my lap, you didn’t listen.”
You dusted off the sand from the back of your legs. “Didn’t want to.”
“Why? It’s comfy.”
“How would you know? You’ve never sat on your own lap before,” you said, your tone teasing.
“Idiota.”
You kept walking along the beach, swinging your arms back and forth. It was quiet, but nice. Just the two of you, enjoying each other’s presence. Alexia felt her heart twinge when she realized that she didn’t know when she’d have another moment like this with you.
“Y/n,” Alexia spoke up after a few moments.
You hummed in reply.
This felt really nice, the way your hands were intertwined… Your shoulders bumping every now and then… Everything felt so right. Alexia took a deep breath and tried her best to not let herself get too emotional. She didn’t want to cry just yet, she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop if she did.
“Ale, what were you going to say?”
“I’m in love with you.”
Alexia immediately shook her head, reminding herself not to let those words slip. She looked down and focused on the way her feet were kicking the sand with every step she took forward. “Nothing.”
You brought Alexia’s hand up to your lips and kissed the back of it. It was something you always did, but it still made Alexia’s heart drop every time.
Maybe it was because the gesture had always made Alexia fall for you even more, or maybe it was because Alexia knew the platonic way it meant to you when Alexia wanted more than that.
“I know you, Ale,” you stopped walking and turned towards her. “You’re thinking about something.”
“Hm? What makes you think so?”
You poked Alexia’s forehead softly. “You have that crinkle between your brows. And you’ve been biting your lip for the past few minutes.”
Alexia hated the fact that you knew her so well, because it meant that she could never hide anything from you. The only thing Alexia successfully kept hidden were her feelings for you. Apart from that, you knew her better than anyone, and she was the same to you.
Having known each other for more than two decades was a factor, but Alexia felt like it was simply because you were soulmates.
Alexia realized that no matter how hard she tried to move on from you, you would always be the one for her. Even though you didn’t feel the same way, she knew it would never change how she felt about you. She made her peace with it.
“It’s nothing,” Alexia said once more. “I swear.” You seemed to take the hint and didn’t pry further.
You tugged her hand and continued on walking, Alexia turning her head to the side every now and then, observing you. It was dark, the street lights were dim, and the moonlight wasn’t too bright, yet Alexia can still mention every little detail of your face—she had memorized them all after years of looking at you—from your warm eyes, to the delicate bridge of your nose, and the curve of your small lips. You were so beautiful that Alexia always felt breathless every time she looked at you, despite having known you since you were kids.
In that moment, with you humming along to a random song, your right hand interlocked with Alexia’s left one, there was nothing Alexia wanted more than to just confess her feelings for you. But she knew that you didn’t feel the same way, so telling you would just be pointless.
You turned your head to look at Alexia, catching her staring at you with that look on her face, the one look that you never could quite comprehend. When your lips formed a soft smile, Alexia couldn’t help but instantly reciprocate. Your smile was beautiful.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked, your tone bashful.
“I’m in love with you.”
“I’m so, so in love with you.”
“I’m so in love with you that my heart hurts every time you smile.”
Alexia shrugged. “Just thinking about how I will miss you a lot.”
“Ah,” you nodded. “So that was what you were thinking about earlier?”
“No. I was thinking about how I’m so hopelessly in love with you.”
“You got me,” Alexia replied instead.
You sighed, squeezing her hand. “I’ll miss you too. At least you have a million pictures of me in your phone that you can look at if you’re missing me.”
Alexia laughed at that. “You better have a million pictures of me too.”
“Of course, I do,” you snickered. “Even you in diapers, I have them all.”
“No, you don’t!”
“I do! Eli sent them to me.” You had asked Eli for pictures of baby Alexia and she didn’t disappoint. They were adorable, especially the one where Alexia was learning how to crawl, wearing nothing but her diapers.
“You better not show it to anyone.”
“I’ll post it on Instagram before I leave.”
Alexia rolled her eyes, “You’re such a brat sometimes.”
“I’m such a brat?” you let go of Alexia’s hand to pull out your phone from your pocket. You stopped walking so Alexia stopped too, arms crossed, waiting for whatever it was you were doing.
After a few seconds of you scrolling silently through your phone, you flashed your screen to Alexia, showing the picture you mentioned before. “Want to say that again, Putellas?”
“You’re so annoying,” Alexia groaned. “I swear to god if you post that—”
“Watch me.” Your face was smug.
“Y/n,” Alexia said slowly, her tone full of warning.
You grinned, tapping something on the screen before you started running. The sound of your laughter getting smaller and smaller as you ran further away.
“That little—” Alexia cursed under her breath before she started running after you. “Tonta! Come back!”
“No!” Your figure was getting tinier and tinier that Alexia couldn’t help but laugh along.
Eventually, Alexia was able to catch up with you once you stopped running. Your hands were on your hips, trying to catch your breath.
“Why are you making me exercise at one in the morning?” Alexia asked, exhaling loudly.
You shrugged in reply, still out of breath. Alexia had always been the more athletic one out of the two of you. “Just wanted to run.”
“I’m so tired,” Alexia groaned. “Training was tough today.”
You rolled your eyes. You knew she was just being dramatic. “That was nothing. You need to exercise more, Ale.”
“The nerve!” Alexia barked out a laugh. “Who’s the athlete here?”
“Not you if that run tires you out.”
Alexia smiled fondly at you. You get on her nerves a lot. She wouldn’t have it any other way. “Now what did you do? Did you post that on Instagram? Because I’ll kill you, idiota.”
“Oh no, I’m sooo scared,” you mockingly said, a pout on your lips. “Oh nooo.”
Alexia narrowed her eyes at you before she stepped forward and tickled your stomach.
“What are you—Alexia! Ale-Alexia stop it! Stop it right now!”
“Not until you delete that picture!” Alexia kept on tickling you. “Delete it!”
You were both laughing and Alexia didn’t show any signs of stopping until you tripped. You would’ve fallen to the ground if it weren’t for Alexia’s quick reflexes, her arms immediately encircling around your waist.
You were staring at each other, your breath heavy from all the laughter that had long died out. Alexia felt dizzy. Your lips were so close to hers, Alexia could just lean forward and all her questions about how your lips taste would be answered. Alexia saw you blinking back a couple of times, she even swore she saw your eyes dart to her lips.
The street lights were illuminating your features perfectly and Alexia could see your lips twitching slightly—as if you wanted to close the distance between you too.
Suddenly your phone rang, breaking you two apart. You cleared your throat and answered your phone.
Alexia let out the deep breath she was holding, rubbing the back of her neck. She had a feeling that she would kiss you if the phone rang a second too late, which would be a disaster. She was thankful to whoever called, because she would never forgive herself if she ruined your friendship just because of her stupid feelings.
“Sorry,” you said. “That was Leila, just asking what time I’d be at the airport tomorrow.”
“Right.” There it was again, the unsettling feeling in her stomach every time Leila was mentioned. Alexia swallowed hard, trying her best not to show her jealousy. She was the one who introduced you to Leila when you joined a night out with the Barcelona girls. Alexia didn’t know that you two would hit it off. She didn’t know that Leila would move to Manchester and shockingly, you got offered a job at one of the best hospitals in Manchester.
It felt like the universe was playing some cruel joke.
Alexia had to keep reminding herself that you weren’t hers, that you had every right to be with whoever you wanted. Alexia had no right to be jealous.
“That’s very cool, by the way,” Alexia said, putting her hands in the pockets of her jeans. “How you two are somehow going to the same country, same city.”
“Yeah, Codi said it was fate or something.”
Fate? Me tripping over your leg at the playground when we were five was fate. Me immediately crying and you wiping my tears away until my mom came was fate. That was meant to happen because it made my mom invite you and your mom over for dinner, and it made us become best friends ever since. That was fate. Leila going to the same city as you was merely a coincidence.
“Sure,” Alexia said, swallowing the bitterness in her mouth. “If that’s what you think.”
You sighed. “I don’t know. Ask me again in a year or so and I’ll tell you if Leila and I are fated or not.”
Alexia didn’t answer, instead she just kept on staring at you, taking in the sight of you standing in front of her for the last time.
In the morning, you were leaving. You’d have a new life in Manchester, one that Alexia wouldn’t be a big part of, seeing how she was all the way in Barcelona.
Alexia tried to bury deep, deep inside the pain that kept on reappearing every now and then, but it was getting increasingly difficult with the way you looked back at her—your eyes full of tenderness, as if you felt the same way Alexia did, as if it killed you to not be able to say exactly what you wanted to say.
But Alexia shrugged it off. There was no time to think about these made-up scenarios in her head. You were leaving soon.
Alexia stepped forward and hugged you as tight as she could, wanting to remember the way you felt in her embrace.
—
You kept your promise and called Alexia everyday. It lasted for two months before things became more hectic for the two of you and the daily calls stopped. In your defense, you really did try your best, but some days you had late night shifts and when you didn’t, you had date nights with Leila.
“Cariño! I haven’t heard your voice in two days! That is crazy. I was wondering if you were still alive.”
“Ha ha. So funny, Alexia.”
“Such a busy woman.”
Alexia was thriving even more if that was even possible, scoring more goals and assists, earning her more media duties and appearances. She was busy too.
You would catch her on your television sometimes, an interview or replays of her games. You were used to it, you knew Alexia before and after her rise to fame. But without the back and forth texts, without the calls and hearing her voice, without having her next to you, Alexia had never felt so out of reach.
“Hey, is it a bad time?”
“Hola, princessa. ‘m about to sleep. So tired. Call me tomorrow?”
“Okay, Ale. Sweet dreams.”
“Love you.”
Weeks with limited communication turned into months and the next thing you knew, you went from knowing everything about Alexia’s life, to finding out she had a girlfriend from your girlfriend.
Apparently Olga was a mutual friend. Leila had only good things to say about her.
You called Alexia that night, asking her about it. She didn’t have much to say, a tell-tale sign that she was uncomfortable, but why she was uncomfortable you couldn’t decipher it.
“Is she good to you at least?”
“Yeah.”
“Does she make you happy?”
“Sí.”
“Then that’s all that matters.”
For the first time since you’ve known her, you felt like a stranger in Alexia’s life. You couldn’t tell exactly when things changed. It must’ve been the depleting texts sent each day, the less and less phone calls until it went down to none at all for a week or two, and when you two did have time for a call, it felt… awkward.
The first argument started when Alexia casually joked about how you were so busy and you didn’t have time for her anymore, how you have a more exciting life now in Manchester. She was laughing but you just got off a twelve hour shift at work and you were exhausted.
“Like you’re not the same?” you fired back, feeling a headache coming through.
Instead of changing the subject like you hoped she would, Alexia rebutted your claim. “I do have time for you.”
You let out a laugh. “Between football and your new girlfriend? You don’t, Ale. Don’t act otherwise.”
“Wow. Okay.”
You seemed to instantly snap out of it at the tone of her voice. Alexia sounded hurt and for a second, you felt guilty for starting a fight. But what she said hurt you too, because even though she said it in a joking way, you knew she meant it.
“Sorry,” you sighed. “Can we talk tomorrow? I’m not in the mood.”
“Right, yeah. Bye.”
The arguments seemed to snowball after that first one. Your calls were still rare, but when you or Alexia forced yourselves to call the other, it didn’t end well.
That should be the first warning sign for you—how you felt forced to call her when you used to want to hear her voice all the time.
“How was your day?”
“It was fine.”
“Can you at least act like you’re excited to talk to me?”
“If we’re just going to fight, Ale, you shouldn’t have called.”
“Whatever. Good night.”
The next thing you knew, there wasn’t a call that went by without some small, unimportant argument.
It got worse when you told her you weren’t staying for only one year as originally planned. You liked it here in Manchester. You had a good job and you were surrounded by wonderful people.
Alexia ignored you for the whole day only to call you early in the morning, her voice raspier than usual. You knew that meant she spent the night crying.
“You don’t know when you’ll be back?”
“I don’t know when I’ll be back in Barcelona, no.”
“How am I supposed to go for… what? Another year without you? Two years? More?”
“You’ve been doing just fine so far. I don’t see the problem, Ale.”
“I miss you every night that you're not here. I don’t think that's doing ‘fine’.”
“Oh c’mon. We haven't been the same.”
“Just because we haven’t been talking as much doesn’t mean that I love you less, but whatever.”
It got even worse when you were supposed to fly back to Spain for Alexia’s birthday, but you had to cancel at the last minute because you were stuck with an emergency case at the hospital.
In hindsight, it was a stupid reason, something you could totally resolve by having one of your co-workers take over for you. But your mind went into overdrive, you somehow convinced yourself that you couldn’t leave the country.
Maybe it was out of fear of seeing Alexia again, not wanting to see how the distance had changed your dynamics.
Alexia’s reaction when you told her you weren’t going to be there hurt more than you could admit.
“You’d never miss my birthday and I’d never miss yours. That was a promise.”
“We were seven, Alexia.”
Alexia didn’t say anything else and you didn’t need to see her face to know how dejected she was. You ignored the pain in your chest, convincing yourself that you were doing the right thing. You didn’t need to fly for more than two hours for someone’s birthday.
The old you would’ve screamed at you if she knew what you were doing. Alexia wasn’t just someone. She was… she was your everything and more.
When midnight rolled around and you would usually be next to Alexia, wishing her a happy birthday with a present in hand, and instead you were all the way in Manchester, you felt that maybe you were dumb to let the arguments get in your head.
You took a deep breath and texted her a happy birthday. You weren’t sure if she would pick up if you called.
Alexia didn’t reply to your text until noon that day, saying how she was off to celebrate with her family as usual and she’d call you after dinner. She didn’t mention Olga, but you knew she was there from Alba.
You sat in your apartment alone in the dark, Leila was out with her friends. It was only then that it dawned on you how lonely you were. You couldn’t imagine how Alexia was feeling—that was, if she still cared about you.
You had been there for Alexia’s birthday ever since she turned six years old. You didn’t think that you’d ever miss one, ever. But here you were.
It was weird to see Olga in place of you, seated between Eli and Alba as she grinned at Alexia blowing the candles out.
That used to be you.
Instead, you were in a different country, wishing you were at a place where someone else had claimed your spot.
When it was way after dinner time and you still hadn’t heard from Alexia even though she said she’d call, you decided to send her a text. Something short and straight to the point: can I call you?
Alexia didn’t reply and you fell asleep with a feeling so hollow in your chest, you wondered if love was supposed to hurt this bad.
stop making promises you can’t keep, alexia
The loud ringing of your phone woke you up. You didn’t think that you’d see an incoming call from Alexia this early.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Hello to you too, Ale.” Your tone was curt. In your defense, you had just woken up.
“You’re picking a fight,” Alexia stated. “I don’t know why, but it’s not nice.”
“Picking a fight?” You scoffed in disbelief. “Is this about my text? I was simply telling you to stop making promises, because you can’t keep them. You told me you’d call me, you didn’t.”
You said it so accusatory that Alexia felt a sudden rush of anger. “You’re being ridiculous. I fell asleep. I’m calling you now, aren’t I?”
“I’m being ridiculous? Is it not me who had to wait for hours for your call?”
Alexia let out a bitter laugh. “Saying all that like I don’t usually have to wait hours and hours for you too?”
“Well, you’re the one with the empty promises. You promised me that things won’t be different between us, well. Look at us now.”
“That’s not entirely my fault and you know it. If we’re playing that game, you said you’d call me everyday, you said you’d always have time for me. Look at us now, cariño!”
Alexia never raised her voice at you. That was how you knew things were truly different now. “I was busy. Some days I have twelve hour shifts, Alexia,” you replied simply, not wanting to raise your voice too.
“Busy,” Alexia scoffed at you. “But you still have time to watch Leila’s games every week.”
You immediately felt defensive at the mention of your girlfriend’s name. “Why are you dragging Leila into this?”
Alexia was about to give you a piece of her mind, about how having a quick call with her wasn’t as time consuming as watching a 90-minute football game, but you still had more to say.
“Leila has nothing to do with us turning into… into this mess!” So much for not wanting to raise your voice at her. “Besides, you have Olga too. You spent all your time with her and forgot the plans we made first.” You fired back at her, a part of you hated that Olga took your place, that Olga was able to be in Barcelona next to Alexia, doing all the things you used to do.
People would think you were jealous, but you weren’t. You just didn’t like her. You didn’t like that she was taking up too much of Alexia’s time. That wasn’t jealousy.
“What plans? If I forgot something, then tell me. I’m not a fucking mind reader, Y/n.”
“What was I supposed to do? Ask you to pick between Olga and I? Why would I do that when I know you’ll pick her!”
(You might sound a little crazy. But you wouldn't admit that to anyone. In your defense, it was hard being demoted to second choice.)
“What’s your problem with Olga?” Alexia accused you, she knew you all too well.
“I have no problem with her. What's your problem with Leila?”
“Don’t change the subject. I was once your best friend, I know you more than anyone, and I know how you usually are when you don’t like someone.”
The use of past tense shouldn’t hurt as much as it did. You knew things had changed between you. “Glad to know you don’t think we’re best friends anymore.”
Alexia let out an exhale. “You haven’t been acting like you’re my best friend for sometime. Don’t act all innocent.”
“Even though we haven’t been talking much, you’re still my person. But since I don’t seem to matter to you anymore, I’ll just…” you trailed off, suddenly feeling stupid for all of this.
Alexia could feel that familiar tug in her heart, the feeling of wanting to make everything in the world right for you.
But for once, she casted it aside. The anger she had at you overpowering everything. “I don’t think I matter to you anymore either, so I guess we’re even.”
There was a pause before you utter your next words. “You matter the most to me.”
Alexia could only scoff. “Sure, you have done such a great job of showing that I matter to you—you couldn’t even spare five minutes of your precious 24 hours to talk to me!”
Deep down, you knew that. You knew that you were guilt-tripping Alexia when you had your faults too.
None of you said anything else. For once, in the two decades that you’ve known each other, you both didn’t know what to say—had nothing else to say.
When all Alexia could come up with was “I don’t know who you are anymore. You’re really hurting me this time,” you knew you had to put an end to all of this.
“I think we should just… take a break from all of this.”
Alexia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. You didn’t think you had it in you to say those words either. Even though the conversations between you two had diminished, saying that you wanted to stop talking to each other felt so… final.
“What?”
“I’m tired, Ale.”
“You don’t think I’m tired too?” you could hear the urgency in her voice. “What does that even mean? ‘Take a break from all this’? You want a break from me, you mean? What ever happened to ‘you’re my person, Alexia?’” Alexia mimicked your voice. She was getting angrier by the second, you could tell.
“You told me I’m hurting you! I’m tired of hurting you. I didn’t even realize it, Ale. I never wanted that. All we’ve been doing is fighting each other. I don’t know how to stop this. I don’t see a solution to this, I really don’t.”
Neither of you knew where it went wrong. One day you two were fine—you two loved each other more than anything in this world—the next thing you knew, you couldn’t hold up a conversation where it didn’t end with exasperated voices and tired sighs.
It was the distance, you assumed.
You and Alexia were attached at the hip. The only time you two went separate ways was when she had away games and international duties.
It was a two and a half hour flight between Barcelona and Manchester, but neither of you had made the trip to see one another. Alexia seemed even more far away as the days went by.
She had Olga to turn to now, you could feel her not needing you anymore.
It was the distance that took Alexia away from you, you would convince yourself that. It wasn’t the nameless feeling in your chest that felt a lot like yearning, jealousy, and regret all at once.
You ended the call, not knowing whether you’d ever talk to Alexia again.
—
Losing someone that had always been a constant in your life was devastating.
It was miserable. You were the most miserable you had ever been.
Leila kept on asking you what was wrong, your friends in Barcelona updating her that Alexia was in the same state as you. Not that you cared.
You didn’t know how to live without Alexia in your life, but you’d manage. You’d learn. This wasn’t the end of the world.
You steered clear of your social media, not wanting to see any posts of her from your mutual friends or from the Barcelona account.
Leila and a couple of your friends eventually stopped asking you about what went wrong with Alexia, to which you were glad, but the emptiness you felt when no one brought Alexia up to you was starting to make you uneasy.
Alexia used to be in all your conversations, she was a huge part of your life. Now it felt like she was never a part of it.
A few months passed by, your birthday rolled around and you assumed—you wished—that Alexia would break this silence between you two. It was your birthday after all.
But you should’ve known how stubborn she was.
When you stayed up until the clock strikes midnight and there was no text from Alexia, when she used to pride herself on being the first person to wish you a happy birthday, you knew you had lost her for good.
You spent your birthday with pain in your chest like no other. You just wanted Alexia back.
Your friends in Manchester knew something was up with you, Leila figured that it was mostly because of Alexia. None of them could understand why it was upsetting you so much.
That night, you sat on your balcony and looked through the folder of pictures on your phone that contained decades worth of memories of Alexia. With each scroll, you could feel more tears running down your cheeks.
There was a photo of you when you were ten, Alexia next to you laughing at how ugly your haircut was.
Another photo was of you at prom, Alexia as your plus one. Despite the countless promposals you received, you’d rather have Alexia as your date than the stinky boys at your school.
When Alexia got called up for the national team for the first time, you were there with Eli to watch her score her first international goal. The photo you had was of her carrying you on her back. It was after the game ended and Alexia had too much energy that she had to carry you around the field.
The next photo was of Alexia sleeping at the library, you were studying for your exams when you were in University and Alexia had the day off. To her, nothing was better than spending it with you, even if it meant that she had to sit there and watch you study boring stuff. Alexia always had faith that you were going to be the best doctor in Barcelona.
You had a photo of when you flew across continents to watch her win the World Cup, grinning next to Alexia as she kissed your cheek, trophy in hand.
A photo of when she tore her ACL and you were there at her bedside as she was preparing to go into surgery. Alexia didn’t let go of your hand until she was in front of the operating room.
A photo of you and Alexia in a locker room, both in Barcelona jerseys. It was the day before your exam, but it was also the Champions League final. You brought your textbook and Alba kept on laughing when you studied during half-time.
Most photos were of Alexia doing mundane things. They meant the most to you because of how carefree she looked in all of them.
Alexia making stupid faces at you as you grocery shopped together.
Alexia laughing next to you in the driver seat as she drove you to work.
Alexia cooking dinner for the two of you, her eyebrows scrunching in concentration as she read the ingredients from her new cookbook.
Alexia sipping coffee in your favourite coffee shop in Barcelona. They served the best banana bread, you never wanted to share them with anyone, not even Alexia.
Alexia watching replays of her games on her iPad. She was laying down on your couch, your throw blanket draped over her feet.
Alexia smiling at you with that look.
As you reached the last picture you had on the album, a photo of Alexia taken by you the morning you left for Manchester—she was on the driver seat, a wistful smile on her face as she turned to look at you during a red light—you suddenly felt as if you couldn’t breathe.
You were in love with Alexia.
You were so desperately in love with Alexia, you had always been, ever since you let her become your first kiss.
You didn’t like any of Alexia’s relationships, because you were jealous. You thought none of her girlfriends could treat her well, no one lived up to your expectations. You felt like you were the only one who could understand her.
You hugged the blanket around yourself tighter, the gust of wind making your teeth chatter. You wanted Alexia there next to you, she would know that you were never a fan of the cold, always making sure that you were bundled up and warm.
You had a million thoughts running through your mind, mostly about how you missed all the signs of being in love with your best friend. Although deep down, you’ve always known that what you felt for Alexia was too intense to be strictly platonic.
But when someone kissed you, having it meant the world to you, only for her to wish it never happened, you felt like it was justifiable that you decided to lock your feelings away.
Now that you’ve uncovered them, you didn’t know how to go on and pretend that you were fine with having Alexia out of your life.
—
Barcelona was playing against Manchester City at the Etihad. This wasn’t something you could get out of, you needed to be there to support Leila.
You had some friends traveling to Manchester to watch the match, you decided to sit with them instead of your usual spot at the Friends and Family section. You wanted—no, you needed someone to distract you from the person you hadn’t seen in almost two years.
You ignored your friends’ teasing at your Man City jersey instead of the Blaugrana colour (with Alexia’s name and number) you usually wore. They didn’t mention Alexia to you, having figured out the fallout, but a part of you wanted them to. You wanted them to tell you about Alexia and how she’d been doing.
Your resolve almost crumbled, Alexia’s name on the tip of your tongue. If it wasn’t for the players entering the field and the loud cheers from the audience, you would’ve asked them about Alexia.
Alexia, who was no longer blonde apparently. You saw her run to the field, her brown hair in a neat ponytail. Even from afar you could still see her smile. You hated that you still felt like jumping off a cliff at the sight.
You hated that your gaze was always drawn to her instead of your girlfriend.
Later when the game ended and Barcelona eventually won, you went to meet Leila at the barrier, whispering how great she played despite it all.
You almost accepted her invite to a night out with some of the Barcelona girls. The temptation to see Alexia again was so strong, but you didn’t think you were ready yet.
You saw her anyway, in your dreams that night. Maybe it was that deep yearning that caused you to text her as soon as you woke up.
good game yesterday. always proud of you
—
Your reconciliation didn’t happen all at once.
You didn’t magically go back to being the same as you were before (there was some apprehension from both parties), but it was close enough.
It was scarily easy to integrate Alexia back into your life even though you hadn’t talked to each other for so long.
First it was the likes on Instagram posts, or a reply to your Instagram story of gloomy Manchester sky, or a comment on Alexia’s post of her match day outfit.
Then the texts started. A simple text from Alexia telling you that she was through to the finals of the Euros. Or a text from you containing a picture of your cat, Mr. Oreo. They were evenly spaced out throughout your week, it wasn’t too often that it felt like you two were rushing back into being friends, but it wasn’t too scarce to leave you wanting more.
It was just perfect.
The striking difference now was that you were letting yourself fall for her. Every joke she made, every selfie she sent you, you took your time to admire her and let yourself fall even more.
Now that you were very much aware of your feelings, it didn’t feel right to continue what you had with Leila.
You loved her, but you must not have loved her enough because you were still able to think of another woman.
You ended it with Leila on a Tuesday. She didn't have a game until Sunday and you figured that was enough time for her to not be distracted. Surprisingly, Leila took it well, as if she knew this was coming all along.
And it felt like the universe was laughing at you, because after you broke up with Leila, you received a text from Alexia.
I’m getting married
You felt your heart drop. You had to put your phone back in your pocket because your hands were trembling badly.
You were suddenly desperate to do something, anything, before it was too late.
Even though a part of you felt like it was already too late.
—
Alexia arrived at the airport three hours early. She spent those three hours walking from one end to the other, flowers in hand. Her hands shaking and her mind racing with the thoughts of finally seeing you again.
She passed by the exact spot you said your goodbyes two years ago, both of you holding back your tears as you exchanged promises that things would be okay. The moment you walked away and went out of sight, Alexia finally let her tears fall, feeling that a part of her left alongside you.
In the middle of pacing around the airport, Olga called, and Alexia felt guilty because her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of you. She instantly buried the feeling of discomfort the moment Olga talked about their wedding.
Alexia was getting married to Olga. Her mind shouldn’t picture you the moment weddings are mentioned. She closed her eyes and bid Olga goodbye, not remembering what her fiancé called her about.
You were her best friend. Nothing more. Why was it that even after years apart, her heart still ached and yearned for you?
Hours later, when you texted her to let her know that you’ve landed, Alexia made her way to the gate. She stood there, flowers tightly in hand, tapping her foot anxiously.
You two had been slowly rebuilding your friendship. You texted each other, but never a phone call, and Alexia was nervous to hear your voice again after going such a long time without it.
Alexia was the first to spot you. You were dragging your suitcase, looking from side to side, as if urgently searching for something. And the moment your eyes found hers, your entire body lit up—the whole airport could tell that you finally found what you were looking for.
Everything drowned out and to Alexia nothing else seemed to matter anymore, her only focus was on you. On how your eyes shone with happiness and how your lips slowly curved into the smile that Alexia had missed so much. When you were finally in front of her, something clicked within her, and every hurt, every anger, every sadness she had felt because of you disappeared and she was left with the feeling of nothing but love and fondness for the girl standing in front of her.
You were here and no matter how hard Alexia tried, she couldn’t feel half of what she felt with you with anyone else.
“Alexia, hi.”
Alexia didn’t say anything back, instead she immediately embraced you, hugging you with everything she had. She leaned down and buried her face in the crook of your neck, closing her eyes and squeezing you even more—just savoring the moment of finally having you there again.
Alexia thought back to the last time she hugged you, trying to remember every single detail—from the way your arms were wrapped around Alexia’s neck, to the way your breath tickled her ear—trying to decide whether anything had changed.
And when you kissed the side of Alexia’s head, laughing into her ears because she wouldn’t let go, Alexia decided that no matter how many years had passed and no matter how many arguments you two got into, your hug still felt the same.
—
Alexia,
The moment that has always replayed in my head for years is the night of your 18th birthday. We went to the beach after dinner and crashed someone’s party, and we both got really drunk. It was fun but the thing that made that night so memorable was because it was the first time someone kissed me and that person was you.
The moment it happened, it felt like everything fell into place, you know? I understood why even my five year old self hated seeing you cry and just wanted to protect you from everything so you’ll never cry again. I understood why out of all the people in the room, my eyes always search for yours. I love you, Alexia. It’s always been you.
I was the happiest I’ve ever been that night. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world for being able to be in your arms.
But when you woke up the next day saying that you wished that night never happened, it felt like the missing puzzle piece in my heart that you completed the night before disappeared again.
Ever since then, I tried so hard to fill this gaping hole in my heart. I made it my life’s mission to go out there and meet the most perfect girl in the world just to try and replicate what I felt for you. But every time I’m with someone, every time I’m face to face with some perfect girl, your face appears and I’m reminded that they’re not you.
I love you, Alexia. I love you more with all the ups and downs we’ve had. I love every part of you and I love you with every beat of my heart.
I think I’ve always known that I was in love with you. I was just never brave enough to label it as that. So I didn’t. It wasn’t until recently that I realized: I couldn’t just sit here and watch you marry someone else.
You could call it selfish, but I wasn’t going to risk the slightest possibility of you feeling the same way that I do.
I know Olga loves you, but I also know that she’ll never love you as much as I do.
To quote your favourite poet:
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you directly without problems or pride:
I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,
except in this form in which I am not nor are you,
so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,
so close that your eyes close with my dreams”
If you think that this is all wrong, please just ignore it, and I promise I’ll never talk about this again. But if you somehow feel the same, meet me at our usual spot at the beach tonight, 10 p.m.
Yours always,
y/n
—
It wasn’t like you didn’t know this would happen. This was why you never wanted to risk your friendship because of some silly feelings. You knew Alexia wouldn’t feel the same, your confession would go to waste, and you would be sitting on the beach, alone at night, waiting for someone who was never going to show up.
You thought of calling Alexia, to ask her what she thought of your letter. But you decided against it, this was humiliating enough.
Maybe Alexia was embarrassed? Maybe she felt bad for you. Maybe she didn’t know how to talk to you now, knowing that you had all these feelings for her. Or maybe Alexia just didn’t want to talk to you anymore.
You let out a big sigh and buried your face in your hands. You didn’t know what you were thinking. All those years of friendship… that was all it was: friendship. You should’ve known.
You checked your phone again. Nothing. No texts or calls.
You let out a laugh. Alexia wasn’t stuck in traffic nor was she late, she was simply not coming.
Feeling your eyes start to well up with tears, you took a deep breath before standing up. You didn’t plan on going back to your parents’ house just yet, stupidly enough a part of you still had hope that Alexia was going to show up. You needed to walk around and distract yourself, sitting in the same spot that contained so many memories of her wasn’t helping.
You took another glance at your phone, and when there was still nothing, you wished your heart wasn’t so weak when it came to Alexia.
—
Alexia never believed in fate or anything.
To be fair, she was five years old and watching movies where the princess always ended up with the prince and lived happily ever after seemed too good to be true.
That was until she met you.
You, who had your little legs outstretched on the grass as you snack on your cookies. You, who didn’t hesitate to wipe away Alexia’s tears when she tripped on your legs. You, who kept on apologizing even though it wasn’t your fault that Alexia wasn’t looking at where she was going, but you were trying to make her feel better.
You had been a constant in her life ever since then, with your wise wisdoms and never-ending ability to make Alexia laugh.
Alexia then understood that fate and destiny really did exist, because it was fate that brought Alexia to the playground at that exact moment—at that exact second—so she could meet you.
When Alexia lost you, she didn’t want to believe in fate anymore, because why was the universe so cruel that it left her on the floor of her apartment, crying and begging for you to come back.
You disappeared from Alexia’s life and Alexia saw firsthand how the world became gloomier, how her days seemed to drag on longer without your presence.
Just when Alexia completely lost all hope, the universe had other plans, and it was destiny that she left her phone in her hotel room that morning, because if she didn’t, her phone would be in her pocket as she was thrown to the swimming pool because Vicky and Esmee decided that playing a prank on their captain was a brilliant idea. Her phone would be ruined and she wouldn’t be greeted with a text message from you.
A simple text telling Alexia that you were proud of her, but it left her breathless because she hadn’t talked to you in a year. You two had no contact for a year, yet you were still proud of her. Like always.
Fate, destiny, the universe, and all of that had brought you to her, took you away, then brought you back.
It was also fate that made Alexia reach down into her purse and open the envelope you’d given her before parting ways earlier—something tugging in her heart, screaming at her to read the letter you wrote to her, even though she told herself that she would do it after you’ve left the city.
And sometimes, the universe had a sense of humour, because at that moment, as Alexia finished reading the last sentence of your handwriting, her fiancé appeared in the doorway of their shared bedroom.
“Alexia?”
“I’m sorry.”
—
The only thought Alexia had as she drove over the speed limit was to hope that you were still there, waiting for her. Just like what you had been doing all of these years.
All of those wasted years where you two could be together if it weren’t for the doubts that forbade you from truly loving each other the way you were meant to.
“You’ve always loved her more than anything, Alexia. Even when she’s a thousand miles away, even when you two weren’t on speaking terms… She’s still the one you love the most. I could never compete with her.”
From this whole thing, Alexia was just sorry that she had to drag someone else into her mess. She would never forgive herself for saying “yes” to someone, knowing that her heart wasn’t fully in it.
“Olga, I never meant to make you feel like you were at constant competition with her. I really do love you.”
“But not as much as you love her.”
“I never planned on staying in love with her forever, I really did try to love someone else—with you. And I did. All these years together, I meant everything I said and everything I did.”
“I’ve always known that she would always come first to you, yet I still convinced myself that that would change one day. I know it made me a shitty person, but I was happy when you fought with her, because I thought that was finally it, you know? Finally you’d move on from her. But not even the fall out made you love her any less.”
Alexia would take whatever life will throw at her for hurting someone so deeply like she did to Olga.
But the only thing she could do right now was to find you and hoped that you were the happy ending fate had in store for her. The happy ending she’d dreamt of all this time.
—
When Alexia couldn’t find you at the beach, she figured she was too late. She tried calling and texting, but you weren’t replying to any of it.
So she went to your parents’ place, taking a slight detour to your favourite florist, picking up the bouquet they had ready, not wanting to waste another second away from you. Alexia figured you must’ve left thinking that she was rejecting you. Even if Alexia wasn’t in love with you anymore, she wouldn't have just let you sit there all alone, fearing the worst. She needed you to know that.
Your childhood home was dark and quiet. All the lights were off and Alexia remembered that your parents were in Mollet del Vallés, visiting your grandparents.
You weren’t here but Alexia wasn’t going anywhere else. She would just be there and wait for you—she had waited decades for you, a few hours would mean nothing. She sat down on the pavement, not caring how dirty her jeans were going to be, and pulled out her phone from her pocket. She called the only person she could think of.
It took a few more tries for Mapi to pick up, and once the call got connected, Alexia spoke into the phone, “I have a problem.”
Mapi’s voice was groggy. “It’s midnight, you dumbass. Can you call me later?”
“No, this is urgent.”
Alexia can feel Mapi roll her eyes on the other end of the line, “When Ingrid kills me for being too noisy and waking her up, I’m blaming it on you.”
“Well, in that case, I hope she does wake up then.”
“Tonta.”
“María,” Alexia let out a tired exhale. “Do you know where Y/n is?”
Mapi groaned in reply. “Estúpida. I was asleep, how should I know?”
Alexia pressed her hand over her eyes and groaned, “I think I screwed up.”
Just when Alexia was about to elaborate further, even though she knew Mapi was half asleep, someone called out her name. Someone whose voice sounded exactly like you.
“Ale?”
Alexia quickly opened her eyes. It really was you.
“Y/n.”
And there you were, standing in front of Alexia, head cocked to the side as if trying to figure out why Alexia was sitting there in front of your house at midnight.
Alexia quickly put her phone back to her ear, “Uhm, I’ll call you back—Tomorrow. I’ll call you tomorrow. Goodnight, María.” As soon as she ended the call, she quickly stood up.
Your arms were crossed over your chest, you were making yourself smaller, you looked so unsure of yourself that Alexia wanted nothing but to hug you and tell you that she loved you more than she’d ever loved anyone.
But all you had was apprehension written all over your face. Alexia understood. You must’ve thought that by her not showing up, Alexia didn’t feel the way you did. “What are you doing here?”
Alexia gulped. Now that you were in front of her, Alexia didn’t know what to say. “Did we really kiss on my 18th birthday?” Alexia blurted out.
“What?” You were confused and still reeling from the embarrassment of the whole thing. You couldn’t process what she said.
“I don’t remember it,” Alexia continued. “I swear. I swear on Messi.”
“What?” Your tone was full of surprise. “You don’t remember?”
“No,” Alexia sighed, looking at you wistfully. “I would never stop talking about it if I did.”
You went silent for a few seconds, your face full of confusion. Alexia let you take it all in. “You don’t remember,” you stated in a questioning tone. “But you said you wished it never happened.”
“I couldn’t have said that, because I don’t remember—”
“Oh my god, you don’t remember?” It was like you finally realized what that meant. “Oh my god,” you groaned, placing your hands over your face. “I spent years thinking—I convinced myself that I wasn’t in love with you because you rejected me—”
“I didn’t!” Alexia interjected. “I would never– I was so hopelessly in love with you.”
You looked at her and your face turned paler if that was even possible. Your mouth agape, as if you wanted to say something but you couldn’t. How could you? When your best friend was telling you that she—
“Wait,” you realized something. “Did you say ‘was’? As in past tense?” You felt the hope that grew plummet to the bottom of the stomach. You knew it was too good to be true. “Is that why you didn’t meet me earlier?”
“No… No, Y/n, I read your letter too late. I didn’t know you were waiting for me. I would’ve dropped everything in a heartbeat to get to you.”
“Oh.”
Suddenly you were laughing. Your laughter echoing throughout the empty neighbourhood. Alexia stared at you, unsure of what this meant but she couldn’t help the growing happiness in her heart with every laugh that escaped your lips. “I should’ve just texted you, right? I wanted to be romantic with the letter.”
Alexia shot you a comforting smile. At least fate brought you both here, to this moment.
After your laughter died down, you took a hesitant step forward. “But… do you really feel… the way that I do?”
Alexia sighed, being the one to close the gap between you and took your hands in hers. “If my years and years of pining weren't obvious, I feel the same. I’m in love with you. I still am. I never stopped, if we’re being honest. I broke things off with Olga, it wasn’t right to stay with her if my heart belonged to someone else. She deserves way better than some girl who was too much of a coward to confess that she’s in love with her best friend and ended up stringing her along for years, knowing that she would never love her the same.”
“So you…” you were at loss for words.
“I’m sorry, Y/n,” Alexia continued. “This whole thing is a mess. I need to cancel my wedding preparations, I have to talk to a lot of people, but the only thing I know right now is that… I can’t let you go again. You’re my soulmate, I’m sure of it. I’ve been sure of it ever since we were kids. I won’t love someone as much and as deeply as I love you. So… yeah.”
You didn’t reply to Alexia’s statement, instead you placed one hand on the back of Alexia’s neck and pulled her in for a kiss. Once your lips met, Alexia’s mind went to two things: how she never wanted to kiss anyone else in her life and how exactly did she forget your soft lips when they tasted like heaven?
Alexia’s hands wandered to rest on your neck, caressing the smooth skin that felt electric under her touch. Alexia’s mind was full with thoughts of you. Your lips on hers. Your hands around her waist. Your perfume engulfing her. Your nose brushing against hers. Your laugh vibrating against her lips.
Your lips curved upwards into a grin and Alexia could taste the happiness on your lips. She leaned forward once more for a peck on your smile and when you scrunch your nose in response, Alexia pressed another kiss to the tip of your nose.
“That was… everything I’ve ever dreamed of.” Alexia hoped that you couldn’t hear how erratic her heart was beating.
“We can take things slow,” you whispered against her lips.
“I’ve waited my whole life for you, I don’t want to take it slow,” Alexia whispered back. “But… I agree. We don’t have to rush this. We have the rest of our lives to make up for lost time.”
Suddenly your eyes drifted to the flowers on the pavement, raising your eyes at that. “Is that supposed to be for me?”
Alexia’s eyes widened when she realized the discarded flowers, quickly taking them and shoving them to you. “Uhm. Yes. These… these are for you.”
“They’re beautiful,” you replied, taking the flowers from her but your gaze never leaving her face. “Thank you.”
She pouted when she realized you hadn’t even glanced at it. “You didn’t even look at it!”
You grinned at her, leaning forward and wrapping an arm around her waist. Your face back in its favourite spot against her neck. “I bet they’re beautiful, just like you.”
“Okay, flirt.”
Alexia quickly stepped back when she noticed that the flowers were squeezed in between you two. “You’re ruining my flowers.”
“I’m not,” you scoffed. You looked down and scrunched your nose at the sight. At least they still had the beautiful pink colour intact, your favourite. “Okay, kind of. But that was your fault.”
Alexia took your hand that wasn’t holding the flower and brought it to her lips for a kiss. “How was it my fault?”
“I couldn’t resist hugging you.”
Alexia laughed and wrapped her arms around your shoulder. Swaying you side to side and sighing in content. Everything felt good. It felt like everything had fallen into place.
“Now you’re ruining the flowers even more!” your voice muffled with the way your face was squeezed into Alexia’s neck.
“I’ll get you new ones, mi amor. In fact, I’ll get you the whole shop.”
You laughed into her neck, placing a gentle kiss there. “I’m holding you on to that.”
Alexia hummed. “I love you, cariño. I missed you so much.”
“Me too,” you replied.
“Say it back,” Alexia prodded, placing her cheek on the top of your head.
“Huh?”
“I… love… you.” Alexia said slowly.
Alexia felt your giggles tickle her neck.
“Princessa, say it back.”
“You already know the answer anyway.”
“Mi vida.”
“Alexia. I love you too.”
Alexia did know the answer—she had heard you say it a million times over and over. Despite that, Alexia still wanted to hear it a million times more.
—
Alexia had been to Manchester before but it was still hard to keep up with how busy the airport was. She couldn’t spot you—not at first. All she could see was people rushing to get somewhere despite it being the early hours of the morning.
Alexia dragged her luggage to a secluded corner and pulled out her phone to give you a call. She put her phone to her ear and kept on looking around while waiting for you to pick up.
It was on the second ring when Alexia spotted you. You were sandwiched between people and you looked so small that Alexia would’ve missed you if she didn’t see the giant flower bouquet you were holding.
Once you answered the call, Alexia laughed into the speaker, feeling her heart grow ten times bigger with the amount of love she felt for you. Alexia still couldn’t believe she was finally here, just a few steps away from the person she had missed so much.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Because,” Alexia sighed in content. How did she spend so long convincing herself that she would be fine settling for someone other than you? “That bouquet is way bigger than you.”
As soon as Alexia said that, she saw you move your head in all directions trying to locate her. “You’re here. Where are you?”
“I am here.” Alexia stated, enjoying how clueless you looked.
“Alexia.”
“You always complain about how tall I am, how can you not see me?” Alexia kept her eyes on you—from your furrowed eyebrows to the small pout on your lips, one hand holding your phone to your ear and the other holding the flowers. She laughed even more when you kept on whining and your pout kept getting bigger as each second passed.
“You are annoying,” you groaned. “Can you just tell me where you are? I’m hungry.”
“Not because you miss me?” Alexia teased. “You only want me because I spoil you with lots of food.”
“Yes, that’s true!” you laughed. “So hurry up and tell me where you are so we can get food, Alexia Putellas Segura.”
“Ooh she’s using my full name now.”
“It’s because I’m getting impatient!”
Alexia laughed, finally dragging her luggage and walking towards your direction.
Once she was behind you, Alexia ended the call and tapped your shoulder, making you jump slightly. Alexia chuckled to herself at how ridiculous she was for finding everything you did adorable.
You immediately turned around and once recognition settled in, you squealed and jumped to hug her. “Alexia! You’re blonde again!”
“Mi amor! I missed you.”
When you broke apart, Alexia’s eyes started to well with tears. You were finally in front of her, smiling at her with your big smile and sparkly eyes. Two months without having you near felt so long.
“Baby,” you cooed. “Why are you crying?”
“Just emotional,” Alexia squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears from escaping. “I missed your stupid face.”
“No one will be able to guess that you're the crybaby in this relationship.”
Alexia scowled at you. She would never admit that she cried more than you. Besides, no one would be able to verify this fact because she never cried in front of anyone, except you. “I am not.”
“Sure. Can we get that breakfast now?”
Looking at you behind your big flower bouquet, Alexia felt breathless, only because she still couldn’t believe that you were hers. At the same time though, she felt like she was able to properly breathe again, because you were finally back in her arms.
—
“Hey, Ale?”
“Yeah?”
You sat on the passenger seat, absentmindedly playing with Alexia’s hand that wasn’t holding the steering wheel.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive?”
Alexia gave you a side glance. “Are you questioning my driving abilities? When it was me who drove you around most of your life.”
“Maybe,” you kissed the back of Alexia’s hand. “You’ve never driven outside of Spain before. I’m kind of scared right now. For my life and for my brand new car.”
Alexia laughed, “Driving is the same everywhere, amor.”
“Fine,” you leaned over the console and pressed a kiss to Alexia’s cheek. “I trust you.”
Alexia scrunched her nose in response. “Stop kissing me and tell me where I should go next instead.”
“Just keep on going straight,” you responded. “Then turn left.”
“Now?”
“Are you seeing any left turns right now?”
“You just told me to turn left,” Alexia whined. “You’re such a bad navigator.”
“You should’ve let me drive.”
“You must be tired from work,” Alexia let go of her hand that was in your grip to caress your face. “I just wanted to do something nice for you.”
You looked at Alexia, taking the her hand in yours again. “So thoughtful, always a gentlewoman. Thank you, Ale.”
“I am thoughtful huh.”
You poked your tongue out at her in response. “I should stop before your ego gets too big.”
Alexia grinned at you. “I think my ego has been big ever since I knew I was your first kiss.”
“Yeah, yeah,” you rolled her eyes playfully. “You’re my first kiss, Alexia Putellas Segura. Just like I am yours.”
“The one I don’t have a single memory of,” Alexia noted. “How could you let me forget what would be the most meaningful experience of my life?”
“It’s not my fault you’re a lightweight,” you pinched Alexia’s cheeks to which the blonde laughed in response. “But hey, at least I tried to remind you of that night, didn’t I? About a thousand times these past few days if I remember correctly.”
Alexia hummed in thought, puckering her lips. “I think I need the reminder once again.”
You giggled and kissed the palm of Alexia’s hand instead. “Later at home, okay? I can’t have you crashing my car.”
“I’d like that.” Alexia took a quick glance at you and smiled—one that reached her eyes, one that showed you just how happy she was.
But you were suddenly thinking of home and how you used it to describe your Manchester apartment, even though you never thought of it that way. That was, until Alexia came to visit, leaving her things scattered around like she always did in your old place in Barcelona.
You yearned for days like this, with Alexia driving you back home, eating takeout on the couch as you watched a football match you couldn’t care less about. You let Alexia talk your ear off, giving her commentary on the game, you nodding along like you were totally invested in it too.
Home.
Manchester had never felt like home. It was an apartment with all of your things, where you slept and showered and ate, but you never considered it to be your home.
Alexia visited one day and changed the meaning of the place entirely.
You lived here for years without Alexia, but you couldn’t imagine it without her anymore.
You looked at your best friend as she sang along to a Spanish song, she was so off-key. A grin instantly made its way to your lips.
Home was wherever Alexia was.
—
It was a no-brainer, really.
There was no reason to stay in Manchester when your heart lived in Barcelona.
It had been on your mind since you had to leave Alexia again as you boarded the plane back to Manchester a few months ago. It was the only thing you could think of as you waved goodbye to Alexia as she went back to Barcelona, her black cap and sunglasses covering her face, but you could tell there were tears running down her cheeks.
You knew she was scared that history would repeat itself and you two would argue again. But you also knew that it was different this time. There were no uncertain feelings in your chest, no other girl next to Alexia making you feel replaced. You were certain of your love for Alexia.
But it was time to come home. You knew that the moment Alexia kissed you for the second time.
You hadn’t told Alexia, but you were planning on coming back in a couple of months. You wanted it to be a surprise.
But the night before Alexia left, as you savoured the feeling of her pressed up against you, you came to the conclusion that you need to come back to Barcelona sooner than planned.
Having Alexia next to you felt so good. You missed it a lot. You knew you couldn’t stand even another month being away from her, so you changed your entire timeline and decided to move it up so you were coming back in two weeks.
You had a lot on your to-do list. It was a hassle to move away from the place you’ve lived in for years. It was even harder when you wanted to do it within a few weeks.
Alexia thought it was starting again—the space between you.
You didn’t want to ruin the surprise.
“Ale, you're just being a distraction right now.”
Which was true—you had less time to reply to texts and calls in between trying to get rid of your furniture and trying to cut your lease short—but Alexia didn't know that so it wasn’t the right word to use.
Out of context, it sounded harsh, and you figured you could’ve said it better.
Alexia ended the call abruptly and ignored all your texts for the rest of the day.
—
Turns out, Alexia decided to ignore you for a whole week. It was understandable, you royally screwed up, but the only thing that kept you from flying to Barcelona as soon as you figured out she was ignoring you was the thought that you were coming back soon. For good.
You left Manchester and years worth of memories behind on a Monday. Your parents welcomed you back with open arms and you spent the night eating your mother’s home cooked meal.
The next day, you knew Alexia had training until noon. So you went to a florist, bought the biggest bouquet of Alexia’s favourite flowers, and you met up with a Barcelona staff member with clear instructions that he was to give it to Alexia. And to make sure that she actually read the note attached to it.
Alexia, my love
Meet me at our spot at 4pm
You’re going to be done by that time, so you better show up
Yours,
y/n
—
You sat at your usual spot by the beach, the same spot where you got your heart broken a few months ago when Alexia didn’t show up. This time, instead of waiting for Alexia with dread and a heavy heart, all you felt was excitement at getting to see her again.
This time, you knew that Alexia loved you too and you didn’t have to worry about her not showing up.
Alexia loved you too and you weren't going to let her go. It was that thought that kept on repeating in your head, the one that propelled you to leave Manchester behind and come back to Barcelona. As much as you loved it over there, you knew it would never beat the feeling of having Alexia next to you.
You couldn’t wait to be with Alexia. Really be with her, not through a phone screen where her sleeping face would disappear once her phone ran out of battery.
“Amor?”
You craned your head as soon as you heard that voice. Alexia was still as beautiful as ever, despite only wearing some sweatpants and a hoodie that she stole from you when you were still in high school.
“Hi.” Alexia put her hand up in a little wave. You smiled because Alexia looked so nervous, it was adorable.
You stood up and walked towards her slowly, your face still amused at the way she was biting her lips—a nervous habit of hers. When you were inches apart you spoke, “Hi back. Why do you look so nervous?”
Alexia’s eyes drifted anywhere but you. “I’m not nervous.”
“You totally are,” you said, trying to catch her eyes. “Can I hug you?”
Alexia finally returned your stare and once your eyes met, Alexia’s entire posture softened and she leaned forward to engulf you in a hug.
“I missed you,” Alexia exhaled deeply. “It’s only been a few weeks but I missed you.”
You wrapped your arms around her neck, whispering that you missed her too. You breathed in her familiar scent and sighed. You felt at home.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming,” Alexia said once you broke apart.
You shrugged. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”
“Well, I am very surprised.” Alexia took your hands in hers. “I’m happy you’re here.”
“Can I kiss you now? Or are you still too nervous to do that?” you asked, your tone teasing. “ I can’t have you passing out on me.”
Alexia rolled her eyes, a small smile on her lips. “I’m not nervous.”
“So can I kiss you or not?” you asked once more, a grin on her face.
“Of course you can.”
And that was all you needed before you leaned forward and captured her lips with yours.
You kissed your girlfriend gently, you kissed her slowly while trying to convey just how much you missed her—how lonely your nights were without her to cuddle you to sleep and how cold your mornings were without her warm smile.
And when Alexia traced your bottom lip with her tongue, you couldn’t comprehend how fast your heart was beating. After countless kisses, you still felt the same way you did when Alexia first kissed you at eighteen—all fluttery as a thousand butterflies rummaged around your stomach.
Alexia’s lips on yours felt tingly, and Alexia’s hands that were caressing your waist felt like they had belonged there all along.
When you broke apart, Alexia’s hands stayed where they were, her forehead resting against yours while you both tried to catch your breath.
“I love you,” Alexia whispered. “I know I say that a lot, but I mean it every time.”
You hummed, your lips curling up into a smile. “I love you too.”
“I’m sorry, cariño, for ignoring you. I was just… sad, I guess.”
“No, I'm sorry, I shouldn’t have called you a distraction.”
“It’s just–” Alexia sighed, she was really beating herself up over this. “You’re supposed to tell me if you’re unhappy. I’m your girlfriend.”
You immediately shake your head. “I’m not unhappy—I could never be unhappy with you.”
“Then?”
You took a deep breath before continuing, “You were a distraction, but only because—Ale?”
Alexia blinked back, as if she didn’t quite understand what you said. She took a step away from your touch and turned her back towards you.
You were confused for a moment before you remembered how much of an overthinker she was.
“Ale. Baby,” you gently placed your hands on her shoulders and turned her around. Your heart broke at the sight of Alexia’s furrowed brows and the slight tremble in her bottom lips.
“Are you—Did you come back to break up with me?”
“Of course not,” you laughed. “Alexia—”
“Don’t—” Alexia tried to turn back around and leave, but you quickly grabbed her arms to prevent her from leaving.
“Alexia,” your hand travelled down to her hands, intertwining them with yours. “Look at me.”
You could see tears starting to well in her and you sighed at how much she resembled a kicked puppy. “Baby,” you cooed. “It’s nothing bad, c’mon, please don’t cry.”
“It’s not?” Alexia whispered out.
“No,” you flashed her a comforting smile. “I would never break up with you, you should know that by now.”
“Oh,” Alexia looked down, sniffling. “Then why? I’m a distraction to you?”
You lifted Alexia’s chin up with your finger. “Moving across countries isn’t an easy thing to do, you know. I have to talk to the hospital about my contract, I have to talk to my agent about my lease, I have to sell all my furniture, I have to meet with my friends to say goodbye—”
“What—”
“That’s why you were kind of distracting me, because I need to get a lot of things done if I want to come home to my girlfriend as soon as possible.”
When realization dawned on Alexia, her eyes widened and you laughed at how comical she looked. Alexia placed her hand on your mouth, muffling your laughs. “Stop laughing at me. You’re coming back?”
You took Alexia’s hand away from your mouth and grinned at her. Alexia’s eyebrows were raised, her face expectant as she waited for an answer.
You smiled fondly at her expressions before you answered her question with a kiss.
One second into the kiss, a giggle escaped your mouth, causing Alexia to break you apart, narrowing her eyes at your interruption. “Sorry, you were just too adorable.”
“Glad to know you think me crying is adorable.”
You placed a kiss on her cheek. “I don’t like seeing you cry but I wasn’t even breaking up with you, you big baby.”
“You’re so mean,” Alexia pouted. “But you’re really coming back? For good?”
“I am. I can’t be apart from you anymore. I love you and I want to wake up next to you every morning and fall asleep next to you every night.”
“Cheesy.”
You scrunched up your nose. “Shut up. I’m trying to be cute.”
“So… will you be asking me to move in with you then?”
“Well…” you gave a sheepish grin. “I was hoping you would be the one to ask me that, since I don’t exactly have a place here anymore. Unless you want to move in with my parents, that’s okay too.”
Alexia laughed and pecked your lips. You felt warm all over. “Let’s go look for a new place. My place is too small for all our kids anyway.”
“Kids?” you looked at Alexia with wide eyes. “Alexia. Did you skip the entire wedding?”
Alexia wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you close. “I’m talking about Nala. And Mr. Oreo, your stinky cat. Add Vicky, Jana, Esmee to the list too.”
You slapped Alexia’s arm in response. “You scared me there for a second. We need to get married first, you know. No skipping a chapter.”
Alexia laughed, kissing the top of your head. You looked at her and the sight of your girlfriend with a big smile and eyes that displayed so much happiness gave you the sudden urge to kiss her again. So you did.
With the feeling of Alexia smiling against your lips, you knew that no matter where life takes you, you’d always come home to her.
—
Y/n,
I still remember the moment you left to go to Manchester. I remember watching you leave and I remember feeling so helpless because I knew that things would change. I saw you walk away and I have never wanted to scream your name so badly—just so you would look at me one last time. But I didn’t.
I didn’t, because you were off to do amazing things and I couldn’t keep you here as much as I wanted to. And because a part of me felt relieved that we’d be spending less time together because it would give me the time I needed to move on from you.
It worked for a while. My heart didn’t break into pieces every time I saw you and Leila on social media, and my heart didn’t feel like it’s being squeezed every time you talked about her.
My daydreams about you stopped, I didn’t hear your laugh in the back of my head at random times of the day anymore. I thought that was it. I was moving on, and I started to swallow the bitter truth that we weren’t meant to be together.
But then one night you called me. It was in the middle of the night and you couldn’t stop laughing because of a joke you just thought of. You asked if I was asleep, and I knew you’d tell me to go back to sleep if I said yes, so I lied. Only because I missed your voice and because hearing your laugh again after so long made my heart feel whole again when I didn’t even realize it had a missing piece.
I realized that, no matter how hard I try to convince myself, I would never love anyone as much as I love you.
I started to spend each night cursing at the stars, being angry and asking why the universe gave you to me, but at the same time, never letting me completely have you.
I settled for someone else because I thought that you’d never look at me the way I looked at you. I loved someone else and their name tasted just fine on my lips but I kept on wishing that it was your name that I was whispering into the dark nights instead. And I had to come to terms that I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life with you in the way that I’d hoped, so I said ‘yes’ to someone else.
But things happened, and I found out that you had been looking at me the same way all along—hidden glances, longing gazes, the desperate yearning to know how it feels like to love each other in ways no one but us can understand.
You’re my best friend, Y/n. You’re the bestest friend I’ve ever had and now, instead of cursing at the stars, I thank them each night because the universe gave you to me and now I have the chance to be able to love and admire every part of you.
Now your name is the only one I’d whisper into the nights—the nights where it’s just us two and your face that’s illuminated by the moonlight is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Now you’re the person I said ‘yes’ to because you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.
It’s been a journey, hasn’t it? I never would have thought that we’d be here, and that in a few hours I’d get to call you my wife.
I love you, mi amor. I have loved you since I was five and didn’t know anything about the world. I have loved you when we were apart, when nothing else was left to say between us, when the mornings without your texts turned my world darker.
And I have loved you when we’re together, when I look to the side and you’re always there next to me, when your hands feel like they’re my long-lost limb—your hands holding mine, your hands around my waist, your hands tangled through my hair, your hands around my neck, your hands holding me at night when it’s quiet except for the sound of your heart beating in sync with mine.
I have loved you for so long that it’s now a part of me and I know that I would never go a day without loving you.
And despite knowing you for most of my life, I still get nervous around you. So I’m writing this letter in case I couldn’t blurt out my vows because of how you’d be looking at me—as if I’m the only star in your sky. I hope that by reading this, you know just how much I love you and how I don’t ever plan to stop.
You make me the happiest. And I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure that you’re the happiest too.
I’ll see you in a few hours. Can’t wait to see you walk down the aisle :)
Yours forever and ever and ever,
Alexia
----
a/n: thank you for reading. this is my longest fic yet, please let me know your thoughts!<3
#woso#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso community#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas imagine#alexia putellas
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Confession
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Warning: nothing much just kissing
A/N: I'm going to start writing and post regularly again.
Masterlist
○●○●○●○
"I love you."
The words leave my mouth before I realise it. I can see him get tense, pausing his writing. Tears well up in my eye as the realisation slowly sinks in of what I've done. I've let out my deepest secret, the one I've kept for so long, not telling anyone else, knowing that nothing good can come out of it. I focus on the wall behind him, trying not to break down right here.
Come on, telling him I love him and then crying to him bout how he doesn't feel the same. That's just embarrassing.
I feel him stare at me as Azriel slowing gets up from his chair and walks up to me. Still not ready to face him, my eyes fall shut as he stands in front of me.
I want to say something! Say sorry or that it was just a prank but my mouth doesn't open and my fingers curl not a fist in anger at myself. He let's out a sigh and I brace myself for the rejection that's surely to come. The sofa dips a little as he sits in front of me.
Gentle finger tips graze my cheek and I gasp in surprise. "Open your eyes." The request clear in his deep voice. I carefully do, and then my eyes widen in surprise.
His face is so close to me.
Our noses almost touching. Our lips mere inches apart. The color of his irises is so radiant, with the sunlight hitting the waves in them so perfectly. A deep blush spreads across my face as my skin heats up. He too can surely feel it with his hand cupping cheek like so.
"Say it again."
"What?" I say, baffled.
"Say that you love me, again." There a flash of desperation in his eyes and it leaves my mind in a scramble. His eyes look at me, silently begging, and there nothing I wouldn't do in this world for him. No matter how much it hurts me, I would do whatever he told me to in a heart beat.
"I love you."
And his lips are on mine.
Softly at first and I gasp at the seer need I feel from him. He moves his mouth to mine with pure wildness, as if he's been wanting this for a long time. Our noses touch and he angles my head to kiss me deeper. My eyes fall shut and a tear runs down my cheek. I'm not sad, I'm surprised and happy and scared and god knows what else.
His tongue moves in my mouth and a low moan escapes my throat. I feel his lips curl up into a smirk and he pulls back a little. I whimper at the loss of him and chase after his lips to pull him into another, wilder kiss.
Our lips move in a rhythm, both of us desperately feel every part of each other's mouth. We kiss as if we were lost in a desert without any means of survival, and have finally found water. We kiss as if the world is going to end and there will be no tomorrow. We kiss as if this will be the last time we do so.
I don't know how long it has been when we finally pull back. Bruised lips and desire clear as a day in our eyes. We are still so close, I could easily kiss him again if I wasn't breathing so hard.
His kiss emptied me of my thoughts and air.
His eyes scan my face once more, red lips streching into a grin. He watches me for a second longer and then leans forward to gently kiss my cheek and pulls back.
"If it wasn't obvious, I love you too."
And I smile too, genuinely feeling the happiest I've ever felt.
#acotar#acotar fandom#acotar fanfiction#acotar fluff#azriel x reader#azriel x yn#azriel fluff#azriel fanfic
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Good Soup
Fantasy AU | In a world of whimsical wonders and magic, the only thing you're curious about is why the blonde suddenly got shy at a simple goodnight. The language barrier between them is what keeps them closer.
᧔o᧓ || Katsuki Bakugo x f!reader, no manga spoilers, no nsfw, pure fluff, no angst, aged up, mutual feelings, split pov, language barriers, bkg learning english, silly bestie kirishima included, love confessions gone wrong, oneshot, bkg is a softie, 2.1k word count
"Go on! You can do it!"
An encouraging smile forms on her face. Her hands clasping together as she practically jumps up and down from mere excitement that he finally agreed to her request.
Her eyes are completely on him, not wanting to look away.
It takes a moment for Bakugo to register her words. Attempting to recall what she's been teaching him.
He assumes she's saying something encouraging, given that bright smile of hers.
He can't believe he's doing this. If it was anyone else he wouldn't even be attempting this shit. But one look at her excited expression made his mind think otherwise.
Plus she's been bothering him about this for weeks now.
Under his breath, he grumbles a handful of curses in his native language, courtesy of his tribe. He switches his weight onto the other foot, crossing his arms over his chest.
She is quick to notice his sudden fidgeting. A sign of discomposure.
But she thinks it's charming. So she'll keep it to herself.
Y/N takes a step forward in his direction, softening her eyes at the sight of him. Realizing she may have unknowingly put too much pressure on him, "Oh I'm sorry! You don't have too, if you don't want to-"
"N-ɳαɱҽ.... αɾҽ... Bαƙυɠσ Kαƚʂυƙι...."
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
Her heart hastens at the sound of his deep voice. His slow and hesitant words echoing in her ear. The foreign accent made her skin tingle with bliss.
After his words, she lets a few giggles escape her lips. Not directed at him, but because the way he avoids eye contact was simply adorable.
She can tell he tried his best.
"Almost!" she says while gently taking a hold of his hand. His body tensing as she makes physical contact.
His eyes darted back and forth between her hand and delicate eyes. She speaks gradually to correct his wording, "my name.... is.... bakugo katsuki.”
She nods in his direction for him to try again.
The sensation of her much smaller hand holding his, the warmth of it, gives him an odd sense of tranquility.
How stupid.
"M-Mყ ɳαɱҽ ιʂ Bαƙυɠσ Kαƚʂυƙι"
"Yes! You did it!"
She squeals with delight. Having to restrain herself from pulling him into a hug. Knowing he'll probably shove her off not a moment after.
So instead she simply squeezes his hand. Honestly a bit shocked he hasn't pulled away yet-
Without warning, she can feel his fingers slowly intertwine with her own. Causing a shiver to go up her spine.
What is he...
"Gσσԃ.... ɠσσԃ ɱσɾɳιɳɠ"
Huh?
Y/N stares at the blonde, now perplexed at his words. He must've picked it up from their travels together. But does he know what it means? It's not morning but night time.
She tilts her head and lets out a small laugh. How refreshing.
"Hm? Did you mean goodnight?"
The tips of his ears quickly turn red as he hears her laughter.
“Gσσԃɳιɠԋƚ" he says, tightening his grip on her hand. Looking into her eyes, now a bit more sincere with his words.
"Ah- you're going to sleep already? I suppose you do sleep early" she hums while nodding in his direction.
"Goodnight Bakugo!"
She's about to pull away yet his grip on her doesn't lessen. His eyes slightly widening at her words.
The blush from his ears immediately spreads across his cheeks in a light dust of pink.
"G-Gσσԃɳιɠԋƚ Bαƙυɠσ?" he mumbles to her in slight disbelief.
"Huh? Uh- yeah... Goodnight Bakugo" she says now bewildered by his reaction.
He doesn't move for a few seconds but then his own eyes soften. Completely catching her off guard.
She's never seen such a calm look on his face. And she didn’t know how she lived up til now without seeing it.
Y/N watches as he pulls his hand away from hers. Now feeling cold without the physical contact. Her fingers twitch, wanting to feel that warmth again.
He takes a hold of the red necklace that's resting along his collarbone. Tugging it off and draping it over her head instead. Lifting her hair so it could sit perfectly around her neck.
She can feel her cheeks warm up at the gesture, "what- your giving this necklace to me? But it's yours" she says, looking down at the red pendants hanging off the black string.
"ʏ/ռ Gσσԃɳιɠԋƚ"
His hand lifts up to gently touch her flushed cheek. Only making her more bashful by the minute.
What's up with him?
✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ���♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦
The next morning was quite chaotic.
Y/N emerges from their tent, still feeling drained from her sleep. They’ve been traveling a lot recently and haven’t had the chance to rest up properly.
She steps over to the campfire, joining Bakugo and Kirishima for some breakfast. Seems like the blonde is cooking some soup.
"Hi you two" she says, yawning and attempting to rub her eyes awake.
She didn’t even have the time to sit down when-
"Y/N?! Why are you wearing Bakugos necklace?!" Kirishima quickly whispers to her, looking baffled and sending a suspicious look her way.
Kirishima was completely fluent in the English language unlike Bakugo. Apparently when dragon kind are mere fledglings, they're especially quick to pick up multiple languages.
Hence this left Kirishima to be the translator for the trio.
The duo found Y/N a few months ago, a rogue traveler who enjoyed exploring the world. She practically clung to the two after they helped her take out some bandits, who previously attempted to steal her rare items such as unicorn hair and some potions.
She grew fond of the duo and decided to tag along ever since. At first Bakugo was completely against the idea. But the red haired dragon took a quick liking to her. So against Bakugos will, Kirishima allowed her to join them.
And so they’ve been traveling together since then. Exploring the world and taking on quests for gold.
For now they needed rest, so they set up a little camp for a few days.
"Huh? Oh this!" her hand gently traced over the variety of red beads. A sheepish smile sneaked on her face as she recalled yesterday's events, "Bakugo gave it to me last night when you went out to collect more firewood.”
The blonde ignores the whispered chatter behind him, continuing to stir the pot of soup around. Well not like he could understand what they are saying anyways.
Meanwhile, Kirishima practically jumps out of his seat from her words. Looking at Y/N as if she had two heads.
"Kirishima? What's wrong?"
"You're telling me Bakugo willingly gave that to you?! Did he tell you anything else?!"
"Uh- well... he just told me goodnight is all"
"Goodnight?"
But before she could respond, Bakugo was already walking towards them. Holding two bowls of warm soup and handing one to Kirishima.
His head then turns to look at Y/N, holding the other out to her. He seems to be in thought, trying to recall the right words to say, "...ԋι... ʂσυρ... ϝσɾ ყσυ?"
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
"Good Morning Bakugo! Ah thank you so much" she takes the warm bowl and looks back up at him. Feeling her body tingle with joy. A warm smile displayed across her face.
Kirishima's eyes are practically bulging out of his sockets as he looks between the two. Having a sudden realization.
He quickly looks in Bakugos direction and starts speaking in their native tongue.
"BαƙυႦɾσ! Aɾҽ ყσυ ƚɯσ σϝϝιƈιαʅ?!"
The blonde's mood suddenly switches as he stares at Kirishima. Immediately soured at the dragons words, "Tƈԋ ɳσɳҽ σϝ ყσυɾ ԃαɱɳ Ⴆυʂιɳҽʂʂ ʂԋιƚƚყ ԋαιɾ!"
"Hσʅყ ƈɾαρ ყσυ αɾҽ! Yσυ ɠαʋҽ ԋҽɾ ყσυɾ ɳҽƈƙʅαƈҽ αɳԃ ιƚʂ ƚɾαԃιƚισɳ ιɳ ყσυɾ ƚɾιႦҽ ƚσ ɠιʋҽ ιƚ ƚσ ყσυɾ σɳҽ ƚɾυҽ ʅσʋҽ! Cσɳɠɾαƚʂ ɱαɳ!" he shines an excited grin and pats Bakugos back encouragingly. His wings fluttered involuntarily with pure delight.
"Hαɳԃʂ σϝϝ ԃαɱɳ ιƚ!" Bakugo yells back, trying to shove his hand away. Followed by a couple of empty threats directed at the red head.
After a few seconds, confusion suddenly dawns on Kirishima. He takes a peek back at Y/N who is sitting down on a log calmly eating her soup. Already used to the twos bickering so much that it doesn't faze her.
"Wαιƚ, ԋσɯ ԃιԃ ყσυ ƚɯσ ҽʋҽɳ ƈσɳϝҽʂʂ? Dιԃ ყσυ ƚҽʅʅ ԋҽɾ ιɳ Eɳɠʅιʂԋ?"
"Lιƙҽ I ʂαιԃ Ⴆҽϝσɾҽ! Nσɳҽ σϝ ყσυɾ Ⴆυʂιɳҽʂʂ!"
"Aɯ ƈ'ɱσɳ BαƙυႦɾσ! I'ɱ ƈυɾισυʂ!"
The blonde lets out an annoyed sigh. Knowing Kirishima won't stop his pestering anytime soon unless he answers. So reluctantly he speaks in a quiet grumble, "I ʂαιԃ.... goodnight ƚσ ԋҽɾ"
A moment of silence passes between the two.
Kirishima tries processing his words but he furrows his brows completely lost, "Uԋ σƙαყ? Sσ ɯԋҽɳ ԃιԃ ყσυ ƈσɳϝҽʂʂ ƚσ ԋҽɾ?"
"Hαԋ? I ʝυʂƚ ƚσʅԃ ყσυ ʂԋιƚƚყ ԋαιɾ!"
"Wαιƚ- ɯԋαƚ?! Nυ υԋ!"
"I ƚσʅԃ ԋҽɾ goodnight! Aɳԃ ʂԋҽ ʂαιԃ ιƚ Ⴆαƈƙ!"
"Hσʅԃ σɳ, ԋσʅԃ σɳ! BαƙυႦɾσ! Wԋαƚ ԃσ ყσυ ƚԋιɳƙ goodnight ɱҽαɳʂ?"
"Eԋ? Wԋαƚ ƚყρҽ σϝ ϙυҽʂƚισɳ ιʂ ƚԋαƚ! Iƚ ɱҽαɳʂ I ʅσʋҽ ყσυ ιɳ ҽɳɠʅιʂԋ!"
Kirishima couldn't believe what he was hearing. From Bakugo out of all people.
The dragon practically bursts into a fit of laughter. Holding his stomach and wiping tears from his eyes that started to form at this revelation.
Bakugo stares at him baffled then a look of embarrassment forms on his face,"ԃσɳ'ƚ ƚҽʅʅ ɱҽ-"
"D-Dυԃҽ! Goodnight ԃσҽʂɳ'ƚ ɱҽαɳ I ʅσʋҽ ყσυ ιɳ ҽɳɠʅιʂԋ!" Kirishima manages to say in between his relentless giggles.
"Mρԋ-" Bakugo quickly turns around to hide his face. He couldn't believe it. But it makes sense now, last night's look of confusion on her face.
The way she went straight to the tent after he gave her the necklace. He just assumed she was just as shy as he was.
"Hey what are you two talking about?" Y/N says walking in their direction with a look of interest in her eyes.
"Nothing, just Bakugo thinking he confessed-"
At the sound of his voice, the blonde spins around and slaps the back of Kirishima's head. Not understanding much but knowing he's up to no good. Making the dragon stop mid sentence to whine and rub his scalp.
Bakugo eyes travel to Y/N, more specifically the necklace around her neck. His necklace.
He huffs and points at the piece of jewelry. Then proceeds to open his hand at her. Asking for it back silently.
He waits, expecting her to hand it back.
The blonde was beyond embarrassed that she didn't understand his motivates yesterday. Thankfully she seemed oblivious to it all.
In his tribe, it's tradition for males to pass on their necklaces to their lover, signifying eternal devotion and trust. Yet the two weren't official after all like he originally thought.
He'll just give it to her another time. When he learns how to properly confess.
But then all his thoughts pause when he sees Y/N pouting and shaking her head no. Holding the necklace closer to her body so he can't snatch it away.
"I want to keep it please" she says softly to him, hearing her own heartbeat in her ears from the nerves. She doesn't know why he wants it back, but she feels closer to him this way. It's the first thing he's ever given her.
Kirishima being the third wheel, quickly translates to Bakugo with a sly grin.
Bakugo listens then lets out a sigh of defeat. Waving his hand dismissively to her, allowing Y/N to keep it. She smiles brightly and nods towards him, “thank you bakugo!”
He grunts in response and walks away to serve himself a bowl of soup. Or perhaps to hide the flushed look on his face.
One day he'll learn how to confess. Maybe he’ll ask Kirishima for some help later on.
What a pain.
But little did the blonde know.
Y/N was already planning to ask Kirishima the same thing. Trying to learn Bakugos native language in hopes of confessing her feelings.
Kirishima could only bite back his tongue to hide his knowing smile. Looking at the oblivious pair as they all eat breakfast around the campfire.
Though he couldn't help but to let out a small chuckle at the sheer coincidence of it all.
"Hm? What's so funny Kirishima?"
He dismissively waves his hands at Y/N's comment and smirks, "nothing at all, just realized I forgot to say goodnight to you yesterday" he says, holding back a laugh as Bakugos head snaps in his direction.
The blonde sends Kirishima a deadly glare. Standing up to teach him a lesson. Seems Bakugo reached his daily limit of the redheads teasing, "Yσυɾ ԃҽαԃ ʂԋιƚƚყ ԋαιɾ!"
That's how Kirishima ends up hiding behind her as Bakugo stomps towards the two. Leaving poor Y/N as a human shield.
She still has no idea what's going on but laughs alongside Kirishima as the three chase each other around the campfire.
What a good day…. and night?
✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ ⎯⎯ ✦
A/N ||| This fanfic was inspired by a Fantasy Bakugo x Reader piece I read a LONGGGG time ago on Wattpad. When I was younger, I was obsessed with this fic as a newbie reader & mha fan. Unfortunately it never had a proper ending, as it's incomplete like many other forgotten fanfics out there. I’ll add the link here to credit them but please remember it's INCOMPLETE! And the author won’t update it anymore so fyi! This was oddly healing to my younger self, kinda funny how I went from being a reader to the writer :)
#fluff#anime#bakugo katsuki#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugou x you#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha bakugou#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo fluff#bakugo katuski#mha bakugou#katsuki bakugou#katsuki bakugo mha#bakugo#katsuki#bakugou x y/n#bakugou katuski x reader#bakugou x fem!reader#bakugo x you#bakugo x reader#bakugo x y/n#bakugo x female reader#katsuki fluff#katsuki x you#katsuki x y/n#katsuki x reader#my hero academia#mha fluff
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Tummy ache
Do I have kids? No. Do I want kids? Fuck no. Did I still write this because dad logan makes me feel a certain type of way? HELL YES
Pairing: Worst!Logan x single mom!Reader
Summary: It's late and your little daughter Laura won't stop crying and screaming, no matter what you do. You take her to your best friend Wade, who lives in the same apartment buildung. Will he and Logan be able to help you?
Wordcount: 3.4k
Warning/tags: english is not my first language, fluff, slight missunderstandings, Wade bc he needs a warning, implied sexual themes, friends to lovers, just cuteness, Laura doesn't exists as an adult like in the movie, rushed ending?, leave me alone I finished this at midnight
__________________________________
Logan was snoring on the couch in Wades apartment when loud, frantic knocks sounded on the door. He grumbled in annoyance as he turned, pulling a pillow over his head.
He heard Wade skip to the door in a pair of white underpants with hearts on them and a loose, grey wolverine fangirl shirt. "Must be the horse dildo I ordered" he spoke happily as if it was the most normal thing to say. Once Wade opened the door, the piercing shrieks of a baby crying echoed through the apartment.
You held your one year and a half old daughter in your arms, her face red as she cried into your shoulder. Wade noted that your hair was a mess and you seemed awfully tired. Well- it was late and on any other day, you and your daughter would already be sleeping. But there was clearly something that bothered her. She had been crying and screeching and in discomfort for an hour without you finding what caused it or how to fix it.
You tried feeding her, but she wouldn't open her mouth for the spoon. You tried reading to her, but she would always push away the books. You changed her diapers in case her sensitive skin was irritated by the dampness, but she hadn't peed. You didn't know why she was so distressed and nothing seemed to distract her from whatever it was that made her cry.
You were desperate. And while your best friend Wade wasn't really...fond of kids, which you couldn't blame him for, you still went to him for help. You never truly wanted kids yourself. But when the condom broke and your ex left you upon finding out you were pregnant, you were stuck with your baby. And now you wouldn't trade her for the world. Except in times where she was screaming with no appearant reason. "Hey Wade, I'm so sorry to bother you guys this late at night, but Laura, she won't stop crying. I've tried everything and I don't know what to do" you croaked, rocking the small child in your arms, shushing her to no avail.
Wade brought you inside so you wouldn't stay outside in the hallway any longer. No need for some neighbors to peek their head out of their doors to see what was going on.
In situations like these, Wade could be oddly serious and actually tried to help. He knew you were insecure because of your baby. You didn't want to be a nuisance or burden to anyone because you knew that your daughter could be a lot. Kids were high maintanance and you didn't want to make people feel like they were obligated to make room and drop everything once you arrived with your child. You couldn't expect from anyone that they were okay with you bringing your kid over. But Wade wanted you to know that even though he didn't like kids, you were his best friend and Laura had been nothing but a sweetheart so far. You were always welcome in his apartment.
Wade kicked Logan from the couch "Get your fat ass off the couch, the Lady needs a place to sit" he loudly said over Lauras crying. Logan groaned. You sat on the sofa and tried to take up as little space as possible. "Im sorry Logan, didn't want to disturb your sleep." you apologized meekly. "I can..I can move to the chair here" you muttered, pointing to an uncomfortable-looking wooden chair that replaced an armchair, which had recently been thrown out of the apartment due to mysterious stains and various rips and cuts in the fabric.
You had met Logan a few times since he lived with Wade and Althea. And you would be a liar if you said he didn't catch your eye. He was tall, broad and very handsome, pretty much right up you alley. But there was no way he was looking for a chaotic single mother that barely had her life together and struggled to raise an unplanned child because her ex left her. Yeah, no. You were miserable. Logan didn't need any of that.
Adding to that, he always seemed to avoid you when Laura was near. You just thought he didn't like kids, which was totally fair. Truthfully, Logan liked kids and had always wanted some of his own, but it just...never happened. With him being the worst wolverine and all.
Then why did he avoid you and your baby?
Simply said, he didn't want to scare her. Most kids looked at him like he was some sort of big, bad monster. Some ran away, some started crying, others hid from him behind their parents when he walked by. He wasn't good with children either because they never let him close enough before getting scared. He was afraid that Laura would react the same way like all children did. He didn't want you to back away once you realised that Laura didn't approve of him.
He couldn't bear only seeing you from afar.
As you were about to stand up from the couch, Logan stopped you. "No, its fine. Stay on the couch. I can move" he replied and you felt another pang as he moved away from you again.
Wade leaned over the couch, looking down at Laura who was still wailing uncontrollably. You sighed deeply, a throbbing ache behind your eyes. "Why won't you stop crying? What's wrong, sweetheart?" you nearly sobbed as well. You were so tired of this, so tired of this sound. You felt so helpless and stupid. "Maybe she wants some food? We have some left-over pizza, I can grind that stuff up into a slurry for her or something" Wade suggested.
You softly shook your head. "She doesn't want to eat, I tried. I also tried to read her a bedtime story, but she just push me away. I also changed her diapers but nothing helped" you rasped, ready to just fall asleep on the spot.
Wade reached down to get your crying daughter out of your arms. "How about you get some sleep while Wolvie and I take care of Laura? Maybe we'll find out what's rubbing her the wrong way." Wade said, cooing to your crying baby. You fell onto the couch, closing your eyes. "I can't just sleep when she is crying" you mumbled, clearly deadly tired.
"We'll take care of her. You go sleep" Logan drawled and his deep voice soothed you even more, made you even more sleepy. It was so easy to let your body betray your mind and you hated it. "Okay..." you whispered, too tired to argue. And before you could snuggle into the couch cushions, you felt two strong arms slip under your body and lifting you up as if you weighted nothing. You were so tired, you couldn't even gasp or protest as Logan brought you into Wades room, your senses enveloped with his scent.
He carefully lowered you down onto the matress, covering you up with a blanket. "Sleep tight, love. We'll take great care of your little one, so you don't have to worry about a thing" he drawled softly and only after closing the door behind him did he hope that you hadn't catched his slip-up, that he had called you love.
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~
In had been another two hours of constant crying and screaming. The kid must be exhausted from all the crying, but she still didn't stop. If you asked Logan, it became even worse.
"God, can you shut up for a minute? I am trying everything here!" Wade stressed, bouncing Laura in his arms and patting her back. "Don't tell your mom I said that" he whispered right after. Laura wailed and pushed herself away from Wade with her tiny hands, which were surprisingly really strong. She squirmed in his grasp, desperate to be set down.
"This is how you thank me? I've worked my ass off the past hour to get everything to your liking and now you push me away?" he grumbled, but set her down with a loud 'ouch!' after she started to scratch him.
Her tiny feet waddled against the livingroom floor as fat tears rolled down her chubby cheeks. She had a tummy ache, but she couldn't communicate that with anyone. There were a few words she knew and could say- cat, dog, mama. But she didn't have the words to say that something was hurting.
Logan sat on the couch and watched her as she stood a few feet away from him with her red face, screaming together the whole neighborhood. He sighed deeply, the sound making his ears ring. Then, out of nowhere, she waddled over to him.
"No, no, bub. Not a good idea. Get back to uncle Wade" he told her, scooting up the couch a bit more. He could have just stood up and walk away- why didn’t he? Laura stood between his legs now, demanding uppies from him as she cried. Logan shook his head, ready to call Wade from the kitchen, when Laura began screetching, stretching herself to Logan, standing on her small tip toes.
With a huff, he picked her up, his big and warm hands eveloping her small body. He leaned back against the couch with her on his lap. To his surpise, she quieted down. "You okay now, bub?" he asked her, jumping as she snuggled herself against his chest. Due to his mutation, Logan was always very warm. His whole body was like a heater and that warmth soothed Lauras tummy ache, unbeknownst to him.
The apartment was quiet now, only a few hiccups and sighs coming from Laura as she let her stomach ache be washed away by Logans cozy warm body. He didn't know what to do! One minute he was tortured by her screams and now she was napping on him. On him! Out of all people, she chose to rest on him.
"Is she dead!?" It was now Wades turn to yell as he came stumbling into the kitchen because it suddenly went all quiet. Logan didn't answer him nor did he move a muscle, too scared to wake your baby up.
"What the fuck" Wade blurted out upon seeing something he had never thought he would ever witness in his entire life. Logan shushed him, making Wade frown. He came closer, his face next to Lauras sleeping one "You little cheating slut" he sharply whispered, earning himself a shove from Logan. "Seriously, did you knock her out? Why is she sleeping all of a sudden?" Wade asked with crossed arms.
"I don't know. She wanted me to pick her up, so I did. Then she stopped crying and fell asleep" Logan explained, a warm feeling spreading in his chest as he watched the slow rise and fall of Lauras breath, her tiny hand tightly holding onto his shirt.
"Wow" Wade said. "You're the baby whisperer" Logan shot him a glare.
Wade went on a rant about how everything would have been easier if Logan took Laura from the start before finally falling asleep draped over the chair, leaving Logan alone with his thoughts. For a moment, Logan thought about bringing Laura to you so she could sleep with her mom. But as he tried to peel her off of him, she started fuzzing and whimpering until she was laying back on his chest.
He sighed deeply. Well, gotta make the best of the situation, huh? With a grunt, he made himself comfortable on the couch and fell asleep with a broad hand securily holding Laura on top of him.
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~
You woke up well rested. Weird. You haven't slept this good since Laura had been born.
Laura!
You jumped awake, stumbling over some stuff in Wades room before you reached the door. It was quiet as you opened it and you were met with the sight of Logan, the fucking Wolverine, sound asleep with your daughter cuddled up on him as if he was some kind of big teddy.
Your heart soared in your chest, your stomach did flips and summer saults. And your pussy throbbed. Couldn't help it, seeing him with your baby did something to your ovaries. It was...so cute. You wanted nothing more than to snuggle up with them, trace patterns onto his pecks while Laura would squeak out an adorable smile-
"Mama" Laura squealed suddenly, flashing you a smile with her few teeth. "Hey there, baby" you cooed to her, kneeling down next to the couch to be eye-level with her. She smiled brightly, whatever it was that had bothered her yesterday completely forgotten. "You seem happy using uncle Logan as a pillow" you said to her, kissing her chubby cheek.
Logan started waking up, only registering Laura at first. "You slept well, bub?" he muttered with a deep sleep laced voice, gently rubbing Lauras small head with his large hand that easily fitted around the back of her head.
"Yes, I did. Thank you for asking" you giggled softly, amused by the way Logan nearly jumped out of his skin upon noticing that you were there too, witnessing how he went soft for your daughter. An embarrassed blush krept onto his face and he cleared his throat, sitting up and avoiding your gaze. "Sorry, she...she only stopped crying when she sat on my lap"
You smiled softly at him. "Seems like she really likes you, then." and I like you too, you wanted to add, but didn't. "She is usually not that touchy with people she barely met" you said and hearing your reassurance- the fact that Laura seemed to like him- it warmed his heart. But he would never admit that.
"Well, I guess I'm flattered" Logan replied with the hint of a smile, his gaze soft as you lost yourself in his eyes, Lauras babbling fading into the background. For a moment, you let yourself think about what could have been. This baby, it could have been Logans and yours. She could have been born because two people truly loved each other. Did Logan love you? You doubted it. But when he looked at you like that, you allowed yourself to be fooled.
"I don't know how you manage to fuck each other just with your eyes, but get a room. There are children present" Wade suddenly said outraged, covering Mary Puppins eyes.
You picked up Laura from Logans lap, holding her against your hip to bring distance between you, Logan and Wades teasing. Logan cleared his throat, clearly disappointed.
"I am so, so thankful that you guys helped me. I don't know what you did or what was wrong with her, but she seems all better now. Is there anything I can do to show my gratitude? you asked, gently bouncing Laura in your arms.
Logan shook his head "No need, bub" he grumbled in his deep voice. He would have done this a thousand times if it meant he could hold your baby in his arms as if it was his. "Make that creamy ass mac and cheese and my life is yours. That stuff tastes and sounds better than any pussy" Wade chimes in, making you laugh. You promised to invite both of them over for dinner sometimes this week and they happily agreed. Laura squeaked out a cute "bye!" before you went back to your own apartment again.
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~
Ever since that day, visits to either Wades or your apartment became more frequent and Laura couldn't be happier seeing Logan pretty much every day. She would stick to his leg from the minute she saw him and to the last second before he left. It was adorable and made you fall even deeper in love with someone you could never have.
Wade made it his mission to steal Laura away from you and Logan. Partly because he wanted you to spend more time alone, and to teach her some words since he was her 'uncle' after all.
Laura sat on his lap, staring down at Wades phone. He looked over her head. He had a picture open that showed you, Laura, Logan and Wade. "And who is that?" he pointed to you, earning a delighted squeal from Laura as she pointed to your smiling face on the picture as well "Mama!" she babbled. Wade cheered her on, applauding her. "That's right, and that is Dada. Dada" he pointed to Logan. Laura recognized him, smiling brightly and giggling, but she didn't say anything. "Can you say that? Dada?" Wade asked in the best baby voice he could muster. But still, Laura wouldn't say anything. "Come on, say Dada. Da-da" Wade tried one last time, but Laura unwrapped himself from his arms to go and play with some toys scrattered on the floor. He huffed in frustration. It was easier to teach kids swear words than this.
Two days later, the day for the dinner came and someone rang your doorbell. You left Laura to play on her playmat and went over to the door, opening it a slit before realising that it was Logan. You fixed your hair with flushed cheeks, you hadn't expected him to come this early, you had just started the dinner preperations. "Oh, hey Logan. What are you doing here? Dinner was planned in two hours" you said, gingerly letting him into your apartment which you hadn't had the time to tidy up yet. Logan wasn't the guy to judge, but you still felt insecure.
"I thought I'd help you with the cooking and all. Look after Laura so you can work in peace" he said, knowing that he was just here to spend more time with you and Laura alone to give him the feeling of having his own little domestic family that he will never actually experience.
You smiled at him "That's very nice of you, but Laura is actually being very umcomplicated today" speaking of which, you showed him that your kid was silently playing with her toys. Upon noticing you and Logan, she squealed and stood up slowly, trying to keep her balance, before she waddled up to him excitedly. "There's my little pumpkin" he drawled, bending down to pick her up swiftly.
"Dada!" she giggled, making you an Logan stop in your tracks. "Did you hear that?" he asked you, looking over at you with a shocked expression. You frowned. You had never taught her to say that. "Sweetheart, who is that?" You asked the little girl, tapping Logans arm, just to be sure you hadn't heard her incorrectly. "Dada" she squeaks again, playing with his coarse beard.
You both looked at each other in disbelieve and for a second, you feared Logan woulf shove Laura into your arms and leave. "Look, I'm sorry. I don't know where she got that from" you tried to apologize, but the rejection from Logan never came.
He held her lovingly to his chest, giving her forhead a kiss. It made your heart pound faster. "No, it's okay" he reassured you, his large hand enveloping the back of Lauras head. "I...I could be her dad. If you want me to be" his question struck you like lightning, it was like a damn marriage proposal.
A marriage proposal you would never say no to. He looked at you with hopeful eyes, waiting for your answer and worrying he had overstepped.
"Yes. Be the father she never had. And please be the love I always wanted" you whispered, leaning up to kiss him. The kiss was soft, your lips brushing against the other and it was nothing you had ever felt before. You had kissed your ex- but never did it feel like this. So right. His free hand snaked around your waist, deepening the kiss until Laura decided to pull at your shiny necklace.
You smiled at her, taking her into your arms. "Do you want to play with daddy while I make mac and cheese?" you asked your daughter and minutes later, Logan had brought her playmat and some toys into the kitchen to sit beside her on the ground to watch and entertain her. It was like nothing had changed. Little did you know, Logan had accepted the little girl as his daughter way before today, even if you guys had never confessed.
And as you stole glances down to Logan, who was already looking at you with these half lidded bedroom eyes, you knew that after dinner, Logan and you would be trying for Lauras sibling.
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I really hoped you liked this, I feel like I've rusted a bit. Still got a lot of smut ideas and fics open that I need to finish. Wish me luck☹ if you saw any grammatical mistakes, no you didn't. Leave me alone im tired
Btw, thanks to @buck-star for motivation me to finally finish this <33
#logan howlett x reader#x men#hugh jackman#logan x reader#wolverine x reader#x reader#logan howlett#logan wolverine#marvel#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#worst wolverine#worst wolverine x reader#mcu#logan howlett fluff#fluff#oneshot
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