#how i feel after not posting for weeks
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posted orginally on my pinterest
#hollow knight meme#hollow knight#the hollow knight#hk quirrel#hk#i love hollow knight#best game fr#hk meme#how i feel after not posting for weeks#🔥🔥🔥🔥
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[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post
#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#dick grayson#talia al ghul#batfamily#dc robin#nightwing#anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther#like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it#they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc#but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself#anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did#it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios#also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul#you will always be famous to me#son of the demon origin...bwahhh#anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic#but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up#so go look at that as well#anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy#i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!)#so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!)#when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself#it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on#I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue#i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :]#idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups#so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat#mine
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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
#this is objectively bad advice#don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this#but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries#.... it IS fun#i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him.#bc i used to get SO fucking upset#i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it#and now i just LITERALLY do not engage#instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation#i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection#they like the rush they get from arguing#but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me#so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru#NORMAL CONVERSATION#he doesn't get it yet#i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?''#'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much i’d changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didn’t know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why can’t I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didn’t watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didn’t speak to me at all even though I’d introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldn’t really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#it’s okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#it’s okay to fall back into old habits even though you’ve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process you’ve made and the connections you’ve built#you’re doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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My copium where they all survive and they are an iconic one eyed trio
Also some random sketches because 266-267 have been killing me emotionally thank you
#genuinely how the fuck do they go back to society after this???#for how Megumi would lose his eye#I saw some really cool fanart a while ago where he got some scarring post-possession due to Sukuna's weird face thingy#Forgot where it was but I thought it was so cool#and wouldn't it be fucking hilarious if they all have one eye at the end of this#Hell if you wanna cope you could throw Gojo in there too with the eye theories#This should not be funny but it is to me sorry#Gege just mutiliating peoples eyes for some reason#As it stands Yuji and Nobara are matching in canon since he supposedly can't use RCT anymore#Unless he fucking dies before they reunite#I swear to god gege#bro has been throwing too many death flags#Yuji feels like a ticking time bomb every chapter I keep thinking hes gonna die every week#Any way happy sunday yall#jjk#jjk spoilers#jjk 267#jjk267#my art#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#nobara kugisaki#jjk art
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god i love being SOOO obnoxious about my ocs everyone should be 50% more obnoxious about their ocs right neow
#starspeak#get obnoxious (oc tag)#ttrpgs#my campaigns#edit: everything after these tags are from the og post— they’re just kinda me ranting but i don’t wanna get rid of them#due to the fact that it adds how fucking funny it is that this post got popular and it was just. me rambeling#anyways.#->#literally guy who gave their character a whole birthday week and is celebrating him that whole week#like girl he’s fake……..just kidding cas is real To Me#this is fully positive there is NO self deprecation here i’m being dead serious#also i’m celebrating all week to hide the fact that this is the busiest week of the year at my work#and i’m already sick so it’s gonna be downhill from here 🥲#casboy’s gotta get me through it ok#not Sick sick i just don’t feel well. at least tmrw is my day off i probably need Rest#oops didn’t mean to rant a bit here but oh well. happy birthday week cas
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I also like the idea of Bakugo coming home from a long, overseas mission only for you to be surprised when you meet him at the airport cuz he’s twice as beefy and four times more scary looking.
#Bakugo#UGH IM IN A CAR so I can’t write this f*ck#but meeting him at the airport and being shocked he’s HUGE and a little bit shy abt it#and you take him home and are all quiet bc u think he wants to rest#meanwhile he’s all confused bc you didn’t seem so excited to see him? only gave him one measly kiss????#and knows he gained weight and is kinda… nervous u hate it#and when you get home you’re kinda creeping around him#and he just bursts out to ask if you’re not attracted to him anymore or found someone new#and all you can do is like whisper#‘I am so attracted to you right now I feel like I could d*e’#‘and I didn’t want to bother u after a long flight of other how wet my p*nties are’#and then u f*ck like animals for a whole week#gen#shii posts
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Okay, two weeks to go, putting my cards on the table: there is no way in hell that Barriss is going to be an Inquisitor. That's not what this is. Everyone’s taking for granted that because the trailer sets up her training as an Inquisitor that means that we’re seeing a corruption arc for her, but just. Look at her. There is not a single frame of this trailer where she is not visibly looking for the exit. There is not a single frame of this trailer where she isn’t either visibly masking what she’s feeling or just looking determined to survive. This isn’t a start of darkness; it’s Ahsoka getting hunted for sport in Padawan Lost.
We aren’t doing the “we’re setting Barriss up as an Inquisitor so we can give her a redemption arc later” scenario. This is the redemption arc, this is her facing an in-universe attempt to force her into the fanon Inquisitor!Barriss mold that she doesn’t fit into at all, and she’s going to prove it and she’s going to outsmart all of these actual fallen Jedi she’s surrounded by who are trying to make her be like them. When Order 66 happened, Barriss was sitting defenseless in a cell and was offered a series of choices that weren’t real choices. But she knows that, she is not buying into it, and that offers her one, incredibly dangerous route to freedom: convincing them to trust her enough to send her into the field with a lightsaber.
It’s going to be rough, it’s going to be an incredibly dangerous, difficult path for her to navigate—they will make her do some messed up stuff to prove herself and for a moment it might look like she's given into despair—but she’s going to come out the other end of this miniseries having rejected both the Empire and the dark side. Not only as a Jedi in every way that matters but also as someone who is equipped with knowledge of how the Inquisitorius operates, which she can use to save as many people as she can from them—because she knows what happens when they take you alive.
And she's going to do it all onscreen in a story that is about her, she is the main protagonist here, and that is frankly something that was beyond my wildest dreams.
This isn’t wishful thinking on my part, this isn’t me trying to do a preemptive rewrite—this is me looking at what’s onscreen in this trailer, at what they’re telling us, at what they’re not telling us, and seeing the story laid out in front of us.
The only way out is through.
#star wars#barriss offee#tales of the empire#I can break down citations but if I did this post would be a mile long and take me all week so tldr just pay attention to her in the traile#and to the narrative framing around it#'divergent paths' wrt her and morgan in the official series description. etc.#so like. it feels unreal but after 11 years this is how we win#because if they were gonna just lazily make her an inquisitor they would have put it in the background of something else years ago#instead of waiting for a chance to animate a whole story for and about her
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I'm sorry for posting this 2 weeks late but here it is!! This is the full canvas from the magma session hosted last 10/12!
Full pic: https://magma.com/shared/WaFnHaUsnz3LBsdsVv6RDS
Thanks so much to @doodlejoltik, @opossumonashelf, @kitsuroid, @sonikkuruzu, @protagpigeon, @owlmond, @plantollante (plus others I may have missed - lemme know so I can tag you!) for participating!! ;w; <3
#magma session#WAH the additional doodles at the bottom was a pleasant surprise to me :o!!#idk who made them since I left the board early but tysm for participating!!#if I missed your name & want to be tagged - feel free to let me know!#sorry this was late @_@....... I took a break during that weekend & the week after that I kept thinking abt streaming#bc the session was fun & I got a bit of confidence boost and thought maybe I can actually do it?#so i've been doing test streams the past weeks to see how it's like#it's not so bad I think!#the vid in this post is also a test stream actually & that's the overlay im gonna go with for now c:#no voice tho!! the chunky pika at the bottom is not my avatar or anything. he's just there to watch :)#anyways!! tysm again to those who joined the session! it was pretty fun ;w; <3#oh! if anyone's wondering I did the neopets x pokemon crossover doodles 😌
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Luke IG Story
#whoever on Luke's team has the pw this week needs to stop posting directly after Ash bc I can only be unhinged over one thing at a time 😭😭#5sos#5 seconds of summer#luke hemmings#luke#instagram#lh ig#kh4f post#i won't go on about how broad he looks here#like he's not even entirely in frame and i feel insane about it#i have lost my train of thought that's how i feel about it actually thanks
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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@naffeclipse silly times!! so silly!! Looney Tunes got nothing on these two
(referenced in the last panel is this installment of the menaces)
*self insert Aster is not a girl (he/she) og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic!
#post let luce#dcamv#bloodstain fool#menace4menace#my art#given how far removed this is from the og detective au i am not *tagging* sunny#also bc i feel like this sure is a first tag to receive without context FHDJS I found my shyness again ig#but yeah hi naff i remembered the joking about the squeaky hammer convo#and promptly heard cartoon sound effects in my mind#needed the silly after the [REDACTED] of a week so <3
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i have a crossover that appeals to me and me ALONE. have art of it that lacks any context because i just made art of it and left it at that and didnt feel like adding dialogue to almost any of it
elaboration under the cut
first img is an approximation at the long quiets mind :] its empty but i think there WOULD be more layers if you dug around. maybe if you walked further into it. but thats the main area! shards of glass bc of that one spectre line hehe. the center area is wood panelled but the resolution in the img makes it a tad hard to see at the size the img is.
in the main area the voices come up to the center area as needed! or just to talk. i think in the event that anyone ever entered tlqs mind they would become EXTREMELY talkative bc itll be their first time really being Perceived without unpleasant circumstances which is VERY exciting for them
most things in tlqs mind would be verrrry very similar to the spaces in between, mostly because thats the truest location hes ever truly known. i have been thinking about different layers that could contain the cabin, though. because the woods and the cabin were both very important locations for him, even if they sucked Majorly
second img is the inner version of tlq :D which like. technically theyre all parts of tlq. but also they can function as separate entities from tlq so i dont think itd be that out there that tlq exists somewhat separately from them all in his own mind. gotta think on some of the logistics more though
4, 5, and 6 are just interactions cus i think its fun. i think its ill advised for visitors to leave that little center area. going past it is putting oneself at risk to become lost in the unending walls of the (mental) long quiet. i dont imagine the voices knew that before so much as it is instinct. the "real" location wasnt something mortals were ever meant to really Be In, so it carries over and makes leaving the center instinctively feel like a very bad idea to just Let Someone Do That
the voice in 4 is hero and the voice in 5 is contrarian
last two are the most stand alone and self explanatory. second to last is the opportunist and paranoid, and last is quiet and opportunist :]
#slay the princess#psychonauts#crossover#my art#stp spoilers#not tagging characters cus i feel a littel bad putting this in the main tags as is#but i gotta get BETTER at letting myself post what i want#and these are from a week or so ago but im pretty happy with how they turned out#its soooo fun trying to design a characters mind . objectively wildly different games tonally#but i just REALLY like designing characters minds#milla was here too but i apparently never finished that one and got distracted and abandoned the file after that#so it doesnt even have a voice in it. it was gonna be skeptic talking to her though#anyway. theres more details of this crossover but its not relevant to this art. so ill save it for a different post. salutes
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I am exhausted, good heavens.
#hey watch this neat trick I can do [cries]#love that for me#BUT#BUT- the actual EFFORT I put these days to not make a suicide jokes is *chefs kiss* phenomenal#actively shitting bricks as I physically have to stop myself from saying I want a car to hit me for the 50th time that day#I am not progressing any more than I am downgressing or whatever the opposite word is. but girlies#and boysies and peepsies#my lipgloss is popping and my eyebags are gucci- and so I shall prevail#MAN this tiredness is BONE DEEP man- it's like it's engraved into my goddamn clavicles#sorry that was like the only bone name I could remember- I don't even know what a clavicle is#anyways- I need to fall asleep forever and never wake up. But not in like a dying way#I just need to stop waking up tired and being tired and going to sleep tired and living tired like GIRL#WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SLEEP STOPS SLEEPING#I JUST SLEPT 10 HOURS HOW ARE YOU STILL TIRED#I am so tired that i stopped liking shit- like that SUCKS my dudes#I sometimes Don't Like art now and that is WILD to me because that was lowkey the One Thing that got me going#I used to actually LIKE english class! and reading Shakespear and shit!!!! and history class!! Now I don't!! Where did the spark go??????#Now everything feels like a chooooooore and it sucks major dick#and my graaaades are slipping because I stopped giving a damn but I NEED. TO. GIVE. A. DAMN#because those are like highkey lowkey and every-other-key my grades and I need them to go into uni so I don't die <333#I need to spite little mini me who said I wasn't going to live past 13 because BITCH- guess how old I'm turning next week????????#THAT'S RIGHT- 17 YEARS OLD- FUCK YEAH BABY I'M STILL NOT DEAD#SUCK MY BIG ASS SHLONG MINI-ME#and then I have a big biology exam the day after so- funnnnn!!#anywho- should I tag this as vent? this probably counts as vent right? like among us? impostor and shit?#sorry I think my brain is actively rotting out of my ears right now#vent post#personal vent#tw vent#tw sui talk
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Reaper's Rewards | Week 1
Yoru moved to Willow Creek and failed at making friends. At least she hasn't burnt down her kitchen and is starting a small garden of flowers. She also met the... man (?) she's obsessed with.
#Posting here again to start shaking the dust off the blog#This event is interesting :D#I wish it didn't have the week limit though#Anyway#Spoiler warning#I guess?#But hi again!#I opened the disney save yesterday after almost* 5 months#I can't believe I left that long#But I like the new direction I'll give the saves tbh#it's refreshing#How do we feel about a bachelorette challenge?#nyehehe#ts4#ts4 gameplay#ts4 reaper rewards
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I had my post-op appointment today. The doctor said I am recovering beautifully and that “I wish I could take what you have and bottle it and give it to my other patients.” He also said that my cysts were 5 cm and 3 cm, respectively—about the sizes of an orange. Which freaked me out, but also affirmed my belief that I did the correct thing by having them removed from my ovaries. I am just feeling so, so relieved right now…
#personal post#also learned today that sutures you can feel are kind of freaky#but here i am three weeks post-op and i could not be more grateful#i even hugged my surgeon after telling him how wonderful the OR team was#people can be awful sometimes#but then people can be wonderful too#thank you all you lovely people for being here#<3
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