#so him running into ruvik as described in this chapter is the very first time they came face to face with each other ^_^

[ruvviks]

– Beginnings.

Characters >> Lily Castellanos, Nathan Dixon (oc), Sebastian Castellanos Total >> 3.5k words Warnings >> Alcohol mention Context >> The first chapter of my own TEW3, taking place some months after the conclusion of the in-game events of TEW2! You can read more about it all here!

It snowed in Krimson City.

The sky had been the same dull gray color since sunrise, snowflakes slowly cascading down and covering the street in a thick blanket of snow. A heavy fog held the city tightly in its grasp– an eerie atmosphere hanging in the thin afternoon air and low-hanging clouds swallowing entire buildings whole– and with only limited visibility on the road, traffic was forced to crawl by in slow motion.

While not an unseen phenomenon, it was far from a common sight for early January, only days after Nathan’s birthday. He had spent that day snowed in in his little apartment, had celebrated it alone; not as if it mattered much, he doubted Kid even knew and besides his ex-colleague from MOBIUS he severely lacked other friends to hang out with those days.

He stood motionless at the fence of the small playground located in Krimson City’s public park, gloved hands stuffed deep in the pockets of his long, black coat with the collar popped up to shield the lower half of his face from the occasional sharp gust of wind. He had not moved in a while, shoulders and tousled black hair covered in a thin layer of fine white powder, frost nipping away at the tip of his nose as his eyes followed a group of kids excitedly running around.

It did not take a genius to notice Lily was significantly older than the others there, but none of the kids seemed to mind. It came as no surprise to Nathan to see her there– she had not once lost her playfulness even after everything MOBIUS had put her through, and without a proper outlet for it in all her years trapped in the shadow organization it only made sense for her to want to have a chance at spending the remainder of her childhood like she had always been supposed to.

He watched in silence as she scooped up some snow in her pink and orange mittens, wincing when one of the other kids threw a snowball directly at her face; she was smiling, though, and quickly pressed the snow together to then hurl it back, the surprisingly well-aimed attempt hitting someone else on the back of their coat.

‘You’re startin’ to freak out the other parents, standing there like that.’

The corners of Nathan’s mouth lightly curled up upon hearing the familiar, low voice, not needing to turn his head to know who joined him on the other side of the fence.

‘Was starting to wonder how long it’d take for you to notice me,’ he said, his own voice a little rougher than usual on account of the cold, and his severe lack of proper rest in the past few weeks. ‘Was gonna give you another five minutes before I’d walk over to introduce myself. You’re getting slow.’

‘I’m getting comfortable,’ Sebastian Castellanos corrected him with a scoff, returning Lily’s little wave as she ran by the both of them– Nathan merely greeted her with a single nod of his head– before quickly shoving his hand back in the pocket of his green jacket.

‘No need to keep my eyes up anymore, Nate. Threat’s gone, MOBIUS’ gone. Life’s improving day by day.’

‘Good.’

Nathan wished he shared Sebastian’s sentiment.

If anything, life had turned rather sour for him after they had successfully gotten rid of a large chunk of MOBIUS several months ago. He had never expected to walk away from it alive to begin with– and now, without the steady income the organization had provided him with for years, he found himself struggling to get by.

He glanced to his right, gaze briefly meeting that of the ex-detective before he quickly averted his eyes and let them wander back to the playground, trailing over the various snow-covered playground sets.

Sebastian looked good, healthy– much better than the state he’d been in when Nathan had last seen him all those months ago. Part of him regretted not reaching out sooner, the sudden reconnection now an obvious sign that something was wrong; though the wiser part of him knew that had he stuck around the Castellanos family they would not have been able to move on and heal, which was the last thing he would have wanted to be responsible for.

‘What about you?’ Sebastian quietly asked, as if he’d been able to sense Nathan’s melancholy. ‘You look like you haven’t slept in days.’

Nathan scoffed, slightly tilting his head to look at his feet and he absently kicked some snow off his boots. ‘That obvious? Sure feels like it.’

He had teamed up with Juli Kidman to deal with the remainder of MOBIUS, after the Union incident. Of course the destruction of the STEM environment hadn’t led to the fall of the whole organization– it would’ve been stupid of them to link all of their employees directly to the mainframe of a single STEM device, despite the Superiors’ obvious lack of knowledge concerning the technology– and while MOBIUS had suffered massive losses, it would only be a matter of time before they would regroup.

But he was not there to talk to Sebastian about how their hunt was going.

Something else had come up.

Nathan’s silence did not go unnoticed and Sebastian turned toward him, leaning sideways against the fence with a concerned look in his eyes. He did not need to say anything– and neither did Nathan, as he slowly pulled his hands out of his pockets and removed one of his black, leather gloves.

The pale top of his left hand had a burned appearance, as if fire had scorched away skin and flesh– the wound only partially healed leaving it broken and torn clinging closely to his veins and bones. Though despite how recent he had received the scar, its appearance instead implied years long possession, and despite its severity it did not hurt at all.

He could tell by the look on Sebastian’s face the scar reminded him of someone.

‘Now, I know what you’re gonna say–’ Nathan started, but Sebastian cut him off.

‘I can’t do this, Nathan. I have a daughter–’

‘–I know.’

His voice came out a lot sharper than he had meant for.

‘I’m not asking anything of you,’ he said, his heartbeat pounding in the back of his throat.

‘Not this time.’

It had started as police radio chatter.

Late in the afternoon, Nathan had already been getting ready to go home. Kid had picked up a mention of Beacon– its doors long closed for the public yet the building remained in the heart of Krimson City, left to rot and wither away– supposed ghostly activity reported within its decaying walls, and she had wanted to investigate.

Nathan sharply exhaled and put his glove back on, exposed fingers growing numb in the freezing winter air. He leaned forward with his arms on the fence, to move a little closer to Sebastian; as if he was afraid someone would overhear them, as if they could make sense out of any of it to begin with.

‘He’s back, Sebastian,’ he defeatedly stated, and the other man lowered his gaze. ‘I saw him. He did this to me.’

‘Impossible.’

‘Wish it was.’

Despite hearing many tales, and having worked on his project for years as developer within the MOBIUS branch he had been part of, Nathan had never seen or met Ruvik face to face. The brilliant mind behind the STEM technology had always remained in the shadows; up until his death, after which his brain had become the core of MOBIUS’ very first STEM device.

Naturally so, when Nathan had run into the man while wandering the abandoned hallways of Beacon, his first assumption had been that he was asleep– followed by a brief moment of panic in which he had believed he was dead, or somehow back in STEM.

But Ruvik had touched him– had forcefully grabbed his hand to make him drop his gun and had left a burn similar to his own scars– and had then vanished the second Kidman had yelled out Nathan’s name, the old and presumed broken STEM device in the room next door whirring and humming as if it had never been deactivated in the first place.

‘I’m here to warn you,’ Nathan softly continued, eyes fixed on a random spot in the bright snow covering the playground and thumb absently running over the gloved back of his scarred hand.

‘We don’t know yet what exactly he’s here for, what exactly he’s tryin��� to do. Investigating as we speak, but– shit’s looking serious. Somehow reverse engineered the STEM signal to reach outward, expand into reality. Push itself out rather than draw people in.’

‘Meaning?’

‘Similar to the wireless connection that pulled you into STEM the first time round, but– without being pulled in.’ Nathan had to bite his tongue to stop himself from getting too technical. ‘An– An active environment in our world, if you follow, rather than on the device’s mainframe. Signal seems to be inactive still, but we’re gettin’ the readings. No idea how he’s planning to activate it yet.’

They had moved the device to their own headquarters, on the outskirts of town. Had needed to connect it to the second prototype– the device that had supported the Union environment, which they had taken from MOBIUS’ headquarters after wiping out its agents– in order to gain access to the mainframe, get any data extracted from it in the first place.

Their initial hope had been that it was nothing more than echoes– malfunctions in the STEM device caused by neglect promptly activating the wireless signal allowing shades from within to wander the Beacon hallways– anything but Ruvik’s actual return, however that was even possible–

‘Daddy!’

Nathan blinked, drawn out of his thoughts by Lily’s voice. He watched her run over to the two of them– the front of her coat, face, and hair completely covered in snow and a bright smile on her face as she attempted to wipe some of it from her forehead, but if anything her mittens just further spread it out.

‘I’m getting cold,’ she said, squinting when Sebastian reached out to help her with the snow. ‘Can we go back home soon?’

‘Of course honey,’ he replied, barely able to mask the exhaustion in his voice now that Nathan had explained the situation to him– and for a brief moment it was as if they were back in Union, radioing back to Kidman from the momentary safety of one of their established safehouses. ‘Don’t want you catching a cold.’

Lily looked up at Nathan and smiled at him– but she was a smart kid, and he watched her expression change as she looked back up at her father, head slightly tilting before she shook it to get some strands of her ink black hair out of her face, the single white strand in her bangs– matching Nathan’s own– a grim and constant reminder of her mother’s fate.

‘Is everything alright?’ she asked, and Nathan couldn’t help but wonder if she still associated him with MOBIUS, if she still associated him with the tests and experiments they put her through and if she still associated him with the STEM device, meeting one another within in some facility in the Marrow where he was forced to watch over her like a vulture at all times, all to keep the system stable.

‘Nothing to worry about,’ he simply answered her, unsure if she would fall for his lie, but knowing it would give her infinitely more comfort than the truth ever could. ‘Just came to say hi.’

The breeze picked up, howling loudly in Nathan’s ears as if the whole city softly cried for him; the cold boring its way through his clothes and eating away at his skin, exposed or not, freezing him all the way down to the bone. He lowered his head– a futile attempt at shielding his face from the biting wind and snow, individual snowflakes cutting like knives across his forehead and cheekbones.

He watched Lily smile at both him and Sebastian again before running off to get back to the snowball fight for just a bit longer, diving behind the slide to get cover. His gaze was pulled back toward Sebastian– but said man appeared deep in thought, eyes pointedly fixed on something in the distance, head anywhere but in the present.

‘I gotta go back in,’ Nathan quietly continued; an unnecessary statement, the gravity of the situation like static in the air between the two of them, though to put it into words was to accept the harsh reality of it all– acknowledgement of what had to happen, what was going to happen, something he had not been able to do before.

‘It’s nothing like Union,’ Sebastian bluntly replied with a shake of his head, turning his back to the playground and resting heavily with his elbows on the fence. ‘He’s nothing like Stefano– nothing like Theodore. He doesn’t need a weapon or a core to draw his powers from, you get too close and it’s over. You understand?’

Nathan didn’t know what else to say.

He had never thought he’d have to go back into STEM after Union. He’d be alone this time round– no Sebastian by his side, no Kidman to radio back to. They had reconnected some old friends– Joseph, Yukiko, Esmeralda– but had no idea whether or not their consciousnesses would still be somewhere within STEM, and for all Nathan knew he would be diving into a world entirely of Ruvik’s creation, with the same horrifying creatures haunting it as last time, if not worse.

Of course he was terrified. All it took was one encounter with Anima and he would never see the light of day ever again.

‘You should go,’ Nathan said, pushing himself up from the fence and stuffing his hands back in the pockets of his coat, ‘get out of town while you still can. Grab a bag or two, grab Lily, take her on a– on a road trip up north or something, while we figure this out. Just in case he–’

He couldn’t finish his sentence. The thought of Ruvik succeeding and trapping the world in a constant state of STEM was something he would rather not think about.

‘–you know.’

An uncomfortable silence followed. And rightfully so– what else was there to say? The whole situation was ridiculous to begin with, and for Nathan to show up only now instead of at any other point in time, months of radio silence after nearly dying together in a simulation of reality lingering between real life and a dream–

He carefully watched as Sebastian shifted his weight from one foot to the other, able to study his face for longer now that the other man refused to make eye contact with him. He truly did look a lot better; Nathan could only assume the man had stopped drinking, and had been getting a much better night’s sleep.

Though despite the improvement in his appearance there was still that lingering sense of dread, the dark shadow that had washed over his face the second he had laid eyes on Nathan’s scarring and had realized what he had come to him for.

Nathan couldn’t blame him. But he’d had to let Sebastian know.

He licked his lips and nodded to no one in particular, ending the conversation himself by taking a small step back and turning back around to return to his car, drive home, drink himself blind and pass out to hopefully get some sleep in before he would have to dive back into his worst nightmare–

‘Hey.’

Sebastian’s hand on his upper arm was unexpected and Nathan hated how he could not stop himself from flinching, a reflex more than anything else, and he hated how it made Sebastian pull his hand away as if he’d touched fire, the tips of his fingers on Nathan’s body despite the layers he wore the first physical contact he had experienced in months.

‘Who is “we”?’ Sebastian quietly asked, briefly glancing behind him to see if Lily was still far enough away. A surprising question; though not out of character for the ex-detective, his curiosity piqued just enough for him to try and get a little more information out of Nathan before they would say goodbye and possibly never see each other again.

‘Me,’ Nathan plainly answered, ‘Juli. Used to be just us two but we gathered a team of old STEM developers to help us with this. They got moved on to other projects while we were working on Union– they removed their chips, came back for us.’

‘So all MOBIUS.’

Not even a question, simply a statement.

Nathan bit the inside of his cheek. ‘Ex MOBIUS.’

The atmosphere changed, a sharp tension bouncing between the two of them as Nathan straightened his back and lightly tilted up his chin. He couldn’t exactly place the look on the other man’s face, though by then knew him well enough to know his hesitation wasn’t caused by uncertainty, but moreso distrust.

‘Thought the program was meant to kill them all,’ Sebastian said, a somewhat hostile undertone in his voice that had not been there before.

‘Just our branch.’ Nathan paused, watching as Sebastian slowly nodded and mouthed a soundless “right”– not entirely sure what his reaction was supposed to mean, but he decided not to ask. ‘Already told you it runs a lot deeper than you thought.’

Myra's sacrifice had put an end to the Administrator's reign of terror– had destroyed his legacy, and all research and findings on the STEM system as designed by Ruvik and improved by MOBIUS. Whichever branches remained did not nearly have enough resources or knowledge to pull off something even remotely similar; and whatever scraps of code they could have gotten their hands on before Kidman and Nathan had wiped their systems clean would prove insufficient to provide them with a stable environment.

And even if they would make it that far– provided they’d be able to recreate the STEM device from written instructions alone, Ruvik's original blueprints lost to time and MOBIUS' own burned to a crisp in the aftermath of the Union incident's conclusion– the mental erosion Union's residents had suffered from and the Anima manifestations that had happened as a result had never been resolved, leaving any future STEM residents with the all but comforting promise of a similar fate.

'I'm diving in tomorrow,' Nathan said, knowing there was nothing else left to say. The breeze in the park was picking up again, sweeping snowflakes that were starting to feel more like hail than anything else into Nathan’s face with a lot more force than before, melting on collision and dripping into the collar of his shirt. 'First thing in the morning. Can’t waste any more time. In case you wanna come say goodbye–'

He reached into the pocket of his pants, then held out a note to Sebastian; handwritten, containing an address located on an abandoned warehouse site, not too far from Nathan's own home.

'–our headquarters.' He waited for Sebastian to take the note from him. 'No pressure, of course.'

No pressure.

The note was almost a blatant sign that Nathan wanted him to be there. He could not ask it of him directly– but gave him the option anyway, leaving the decision up to Sebastian instead.

But deep down Nathan knew that Sebastian knew that he really did not want to go back in alone– and if it had been up to him they had recruited Sebastian a week ago already, when things had first started to go wrong.

‘Do you have backup?’ Sebastian softly asked, as if he could look directly into Nathan’s head– asking the one question he had hoped for, with an answer to it that could easily enough change Sebastian’s mind about letting Nathan walk away if only he would play his cards right–

But despite how often he had practiced the entire conversation alone in his car, despite going over all the different things he could say at least a million times, just to get Sebastian to feel sorry for him– as selfish as it fucking was– Nathan found himself unable to speak.

He simply shook his head instead.

The other children and their parents were leaving, now. It was getting late, and colder, and Lily slowly wandered back to Sebastian to start dragging him back to the car if he were to take any longer than he already had.

Nathan looked up at the sky, eyes fluttering shut as he allowed more snow to drift down onto his ice cold skin, and he breathed in and out deeply before turning back to Sebastian.

‘They’re expecting more snowfall tonight,’ he said, locking eyes for only a split second and shooting a smile in his direction, as he began walking backwards into the direction of his car. ‘Don’t wait up. And– Drive safe, okay?’

Sebastian did not answer him.

It snowed in Krimson City, accompanied by a deafening silence weighing it down and choking it out, as if the whole city was expectantly holding its breath.

Nathan left.

taglist (opt in/out)

@nistarot, @deadrlngers, @euryalex, @ordinarymaine, @mojaves;

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@aezyrraesh, @carlosoliveiraa, @adelaidedrubman, @fromgotham, @wardenevka

[leslie-red]

Connection chapter 4

Enjoy the new chapter leave comments please i would be very happy to see reviews and answer some questions ^^

Ruvik steps toward this gaunt and bruised body. Doing a new experiment was the thing he had first wanted to do as soon as he came back to the real world. It reminds him of the first times he made discoveries on the human brain. He might not be able to kill for his pleasure again, but nothing will stop him from finding again those sensations of studying the wonders of the human body. Not even Leslie. Despite everything, he can't stop thinking about Sebastian's "thank you". The second he heard those words, he wanted to hurt him. Make him understand that he doesn't care about his gratitude. But Sebastian still keeps that thing that fascinates Ruvik, that gives him something he could only compare to butterflies in his stomach. He slowly raises his head up and sees his sister's portrait. His beautiful sister.

 Seing you again would have been the most beautiful thing to happen to me. I would have protected you, loved you like I have always done. I'm staying here only to see you again, even if you're now just a picture. But the best one I can see.

He remembers this awful view of his sister in STEM. He didn't want to make her look like that, but everything was haywire. Starting with his mind…But now everything is clear. He takes the first surgical instrument he needs to start the experiment and pushes the button of his old recorder. Smiling, he makes the first cut. Like good old days.

"The body shows marks all around the neck, as well as hematomas. The brain was deprived of oxygen for several minutes. Enough for the victim to react and free herself, but the pression exerted by this force was merciless. It took no more than around three seconds for her ear-canal system to start taking damage. Her respiratory system soon followed and it's obvious to conclude that the victim died of several causes: cerebral pressure, respiratory pressure, and a broken neck. There is no doubt…I know this way of killing…I created those responsible for her death. There's more of them…I can feel it. Their power is more powerful than in the machine…"

For him, there's no doubt. He should tell Sebastian about it like he promised him. Sebastian stays inside his car for a few minutes, parked outside the hospital where Diane is kept in. He tries to think of the way he's going to announce her the horrible news. He may have lied to his coworkers about finding the body, but he can't lie to her. He just can't. Losing a family member is what's the most difficult…A parent, a child….A sister.

Ruvik always ends up being in his thoughts.

He laughs in a bitter way and sighs while getting out of the car. He walks towards the hospital, wishing he could be anywhere else. Once inside, he asks for Diane's room. His stomach starts going into knots as he gets closer to the room where she's resting. He has seen so much, in his personal and professional life. But it's rare for him to be so anxious. He sees her. She's sitting down on her bed, her head down and with a sad look on her face. It almost makes Sebastian cry. But it's not like him to do so. "Get a hold of yourself, man." Even Ruvik or Joseph would correct him from acting this way. Knocking on the door, he steps inside the room and Diane immediately looks up at him, a dead look in her eyes.

"You came back?" She remarks with a little voice. Sebastian slowly nods and walks closer.

"How do you feel?"

She shrugs without answering. She doesn't know what to say. In a span of a night her life took a drastic turn. But once again, just looking at this man convinces her that she can tell him everything. As if he experienced the same things. For a few seconds, neither of them dare say a word. Sebastian tries to find the best way to announce her what's new.

"Diane…" He looks at her with prudence and kneels down in front of her. "I need to tell you something…It's about your mother."

He tries his best to be as gentle as possible despite his rough voice. He was going to pursue when Diane cuts him off with a shaking voice.

"I know. Mom is dead."

He says nothing, completely thunderstruck.

"Diane…How…"

"I felt it. Since forever, I can feel things. And her…it was over. I couldn't feel anything anymore."

Since his daughter's death, he never felt such a thing. He can't describe it, but it hurts so much. He only wants one thing. To break everything, to let this feeling come back, either by smoking or drinking a glass of whiskey. But right now, all he does is massaging the girl's arm to comfort her, which he does rather clumsily. For fuck's sake, he was a father once. He should do this better. But he's like paralyzed.

"I'm so sorry, Diane." This time, his voice is naturally softer. The girl lays her head on his shoulder, suddenly exhausted. Sebastian can hear footsteps coming to the room and turns around. He stays silent for a long moment, not expecting to see her. What is she doing there? The person looks at him without moving an eyelash. Diane can suddenly feels the tension but says nothing about it. Sebastian slowly gets up.

"You…What are you doing there?" He whispers.

"I wasn't expecting to see you there either, Sebastian. The last time I saw you…"

"What happened, agent Kidman?" He asks with an icy voice. "What did you do when I woke up?"

"I freed you. Can't you remember?"

And he remembers. He remembers her face when she motioned him to be quiet. She saved him…

"Why?" He asks harshly. She sighs, uncertain about what to answer.

"You didn't deserve this. I owned you something, you're a good man. I told you, Sebastian. Just for that, I didn't want you to be involved in all those horrors.

On the spur of the moment, this answer makes him calmer. He knows she didn't lie. She probably experienced the same amount of horrors as he did in STEM. But a thought suddenly rushes back to his mind and

it doesn't take long for his anger to be back.

"And Joseph? Did he deserve this? Was a bullet in the heart all he deserved?"

"Of course not! You know I didn't want to shoot him, I had to find Leslie and…"

Tears are running down her cheeks. She really didn't want all this to happen. To kill Joseph…Well, he isn't…How can she tell this to him? Everything is jostling in Sebastian's head. This is too much to take. "I will never be at peace. I should have left for Hawaii or anywhere else, far away from this mess."

Sebastian notices a particular symbol on Kidman's hand. He touches it all of a sudden.

"What is that? I've seen this symbol before."

Kidman looks at him gravely, then her eyes fall on Diane. The girl silently kept looking at them with curiosity, but with an incredibly sad look on her face.

"Sebastian, please…We should talk about this outside the room and let her rest."

He accepts reluctantly, hostile to the idea of leaving Diane alone. However, he assures her that they will stay close to her room if she needs anything.

"Do you know a lot about this case?" Kidman asks suddenly, trying not to talk about the mark on her hand. Sebastian answers gravely, he doesn't have any other choice.

"I'm working on it. And you? Do you know a lot about it?"

"I was made aware of it as soon as I came back and I wanted to meet Diane. We sympathized." She ends her sentence with a smile. "She's very brave."

Sebastian slowly nods, remembering the whole case.

"Her mother passed away. I can't say much more for now, but trust me. Don't tell anyone about this. It would be useless."

For a moment, he starts thinking like Ruvik, which could be considered confusing. But he can't help himself.

"What really happened? You need to trust me too, Sebastian…I beg of you."

He stays silent for a few minutes, wondering if he should really trust her and tell her about what happened. But she freed him, and met Diane. However, Sebastian prefers not to say anything about Ruvik or Leslie. He doesn't want to betray them.

"It seems like…Being freed from Stem, wether it was you or me, wasn't without consequences. It was to be expected anyway, as soon as we were connected to it, we were condemned. This woman was possessed…Or contaminated by a malicious spirit from STEM…Like all those monsters we fought."

"My god…This could be a failure of STEM?"

"Either a failure or as I said, a consequence of our survival. We were probably supposed to stay forever in STEM, or die trying to get out."

Sebastian remembers Ruvik's words. Getting out of STEM is a miracle, but you can't do it unscathed. Ruvik getting out of STEM was itself kind of a consequence. He wanted to get out…But inside Leslie's body.

"So…This woman won't probably be the only victim."

Sebastian tries to tell himself that talking to her wasn't a mistake. From the people he knew that were linked to STEM, she's the only one he's got left. The only one who was professionally related to him.

Furthermore, she saved him from STEM, perhaps he can give her a second chance. And it's true she's even more involved in this than he is.

"Do you think Mobius knows something about it?"

She looks at him with a intrigued look and Sebastian can't help but sigh.

"Don't mistake me for an idiot. I recognize this mark on your hand. It's Mobius. You are connected to it. So it's only normal for me to ask you this question. Especially if we're going to work together again."

She owes him the truth. After everything they've been through.

"It's true that I'm connected to it. And…to tell the truth, I ignore if they know something about it. I lost contact with them since I left. This mark is all I've got left."

Sebastian stares at the mark. Red and neat, it truly represents Mobius' symbol.

"It looks like a burn…Is this dangerous for you?"

"It hurts from time to time. I believe I will keep it for life. I got it…When I stopped serving them."

"Damn…What did you get yourself into…"

They both stay silent for a while until Sebastian decides to walk away while looking at Diane, but Kidman suddenly speaks.

"Do you trust me?"

Sebastian stays motionless but ends up turning around, obviously exhausted.

"I don't have any other choice…And…Yes. Somehow, yes. Don't disappoint me."

She understands and smiles.

"I'm tired." Sebastian sighs. "We will talk about this another day. Are you going to stay with Diane?"

"Yes. I will take care of her."

He remembers. The last time she was taking care of someone, Leslie, she was hiding something. She was trying to kill him. But now, Sebastian knows why. At the moment, he wants nothing more than to sleep

and stop thinking about all of this. He smiles one last time at Diane, promising her that he will be back soon. She visibly understands and gives him a smile, but sadness is hiding at the corner of her lips. "Yes,

she is courageous. She reminds me of…" Suddenly, he's gone. Juli walks into the room and sits down next to Diane.

"Do you have family left?"

"Yes. My uncle is going to come here with my cousin. They don't know yet…"

The woman gently puts her hand on Diane's arm in a comforting way.

"You're not alone. Everything is going to be fine, Diane. Do you know when they will be there?"

"Tomorrow, during the day. I'm staying there for the night. Thank you, both you and Sebastian…"

For a few seconds, Juli can feel a chill down her spine but chooses to ignore it.

"You…Even if I leave, will you and Sebastian come see me again?"

"Of course, don't worry about it. We will still be there for you, Diane. I think Sebastian really cares about you."

Those few words warm Diane's heart.

"He suffered in his life, didn't he?"

"Yes." Kidman answers sadly. "We all had our share of misfortunes. But the only thing we can do is fight."

A nurse enters the room, advising Diane to sleep. The little girl, despite being tired, is afraid of being alone and Juli can see it.

"Diane, it's best for you to sleep. I will be there tomorrow, alright?"

This slightly reassures her and she lies down on the bed. Juli smiles at her, wishing her good night before leaving the room, unsure of what to do next. How to solve this case. No one is safe. Those monsters have the possibility to kill again. And being linked to Mobius and to STEM, she can be a victim. "This will never stop. Mobius was right…They will never leave."

She was going to reach her car in the parking lot when she feels that same chill down her spine again. This time, she can't ignore it. Looking around her is fruitless, there is no one. However, she ends up hearing a bloodcurdling voice.

"You." Gasping, she turns around only to find herself face to face with Ruvik. Exactly like in STEM. He pronounced the same word as Sebastian did, but this time she knows she won't be able to make it. He's right there, in front of her, a murderous look on his face. He really got out of STEM.

"They spared you…You failed…"

She can't even say a word, but instinctively gets her gun out. Stoic, Ruvik disarms her with a flip of his hand, throwing the weapon away.

"You are still confident in the fact that a bullet in the head is going to take me down. Huge mistake, Kid."

"Don't get any closer, Ruvik! I know you've managed to free yourself. I'm only asking you to leave me alone, I've got nothing to do with you anymore!"

Ruvik savors this fear that still fuels him, still walking toward her.

"Really? You are once again tied to a case in which you can play a role. I saw you with the child. You can protect her, but this time you can also save her, like you failed to do with Leslie."

"Leslie…He is…"

"Really cosy, inside my head." Smirking, Ruvik enjoys his victory. "He's not going to get out anytime soon. I told you he would be my vessel. From one way or another, him and I were destined to be one."

Juli's heart starts beating faster, as she expects to die at any moment now.

"You're not going to hurt me?"

Following this question, Ruvik wraps a hand around her neck and shoves her against the car. She can't bring herself to take her eyes away from this piercing gaze.

"Stay away from me or Leslie and I will spare you. I will even be kind enough to let you investigate on this case in your own way. But if you try anything against me, what Mobius made you endure will be nothing compared to what I will do to you."

 He's a monster…Even if Leslie is in his mind, he's still a monster…I need to be careful.

"I won't do anything against you, Ruvik. I care about my life."

"As awful as it is, you shouldn't." He spats while brutally releasing her.

"Sebastian knows you came back, doesn't he?" Hearing this name, Ruvik takes a deep breath as if he was trying to stop himself from screaming. Juli notices it.

"He didn't do anything to you…And he didn't do anything to me either." Where is she trying to go with this? He gives her a fierce look and lets her pursue, trying to stop himself from hurting her.

"I betrayed him…And you hurt him. But he forgave us…This man is outstanding. Do you realize that? Let's try not to kill each other. He doesn't deserve this." Even though his blood is boiling, Ruvik smirks once again.

"Oh, I see, so you have a little crush on him?"

She stays silent and he suddenly disappears without another word. Juli slowly sits down on the floor under the shock and takes a deep breath. At the second Ruvik showed himself she only wanted a thing: to die. Because that's the kind of feelings he can generate. He's back, all flesh and bones, but with Leslie inside his mind? And the worst thing is that him and Sebastian already met. She saw something…When she talked about Sebastian, Ruvik's eyes were displaying an emotion for a short moment. But she can't read it. Anyway, with Ruvik around she will feel even more insecure but she will try to stay careful and do her job. He's giving her the chance to do it.

Motionless, Ruvik stays for a moment on the porch of his manor, gazing at the starts. The autopsy is done and it was a delight to find this woman again and terrorize her. And above all, to make her understand that he will keep an eye on her. He can hear strange sounds around him. Demonic sounds. Identical to those in STEM. A part of him is glad to know that there will be victims…He can't erase this morbid and sadistic part of him. Nothing can erase it. That's what he has become. But another part of him somehow forces him to investigate and stop this. Leslie is the cause of this. The innocence of his mind. Ruvik walks back inside the manor and stands for a long moment in the hall, looking at the family portrait. Especially at Laura. This is something he will never cease to do. To look at her, like she was there with him.

 "I would give everything to be with you again. This is probably one of the few things I really want that has nothing to do with Leslie's mind. I will find a way, Laura. I love you."

A few words he can only think. Words he will never say out loud.

Ao3 link

The first chapters on ao3

[jellyfishrambles]

The Evil Within

When the game first came out, my initial excitement came from the fact that it was a horror game and I’m all about a good horror game. Playing it for not even 10 minutes, you could tell that there’s very heavy influence from both the Silent Hill and Resident Evil franchises. Both of those series’ have redeeming factors, and a large following for good reason. I had really high hopes for this game. Like- reallllly high hopes for this game. But before I get too far into the bad of this game, I do want to touch on what Bethesda did really well with it.

·         Enemy design. Holy shit the enemy design. Some of the coolest zombie/monster designs I’ve seen in a long while, with what I can only describe as a very ‘Purge-esque’ aesthetic. Porcelain masks with cracks and holes and eerie smiles. As well as a twist on the classic zombie design; barbed wire and shards of glass wrapped around and protruding from the skin. Similar could be said about the boss designs, however they’re not nearly as creative in my own opinion. The Keeper is the most memorable, but it’s very clear that The Keeper is a reshaped ‘Pyramid Head’ from Silent Hill.

·         The Concept. All in all, I think the idea of exploring the darkest crevices of ones psyche is amazing. I feel like this game had a lot of good concepts and went in a decent direction, until it would take a random left turn and all structure was lost. 

·         The Setting. I adored the visual appeal of this game. Mental wards, spooky run-down villages, haunted and abandoned mansions. I was in horror game heaven with how lovely the atmosphere was. 

Ok, so, your basic synopsis of the game (Or, my synopsis of the game; i.e. what a stupid person can gather), is a detective, Mr. Sebastian Castellanos, is investigating…something or other…and ends up in the mental ward type psyche of a young man named Ruvik, who flew off the mental rail and went on to perform inhumane and immoral experiments on patients to research the brain. At least that’s, what I gathered from playing this game. Oh also his sister or something like- died in a fire, I’m not really sure. So Sebastian ends up in this weird limbo between the real world and this poor messed up kid’s mind.

So there’s your basic outline. Throughout the game there are admittedly great atmospheres and visual settings. I have a thing for macabre and dark aesthetics. So mental wards, and creepy sewers are right up my twisted alley. However, they get stale rather quickly. I got so bored of exploring and wandering through the same area for what seemed like forever. But honestly, that’s the least of my issues with this game.

The first big ol’ red flag I got was the difficulty curve. It was monstrous! And- if you’re not sure what I mean by difficulty curve in this context; I basically mean that- some parts are insanely difficult, while some are toddler-level easy to figure out. I started my first playthrough of The Evil Within in December of 2014- just a few months after the game’s release. I was havin’ a grand time, playing my game and enjoying myself. And because I’m not a filthy casual- I set the difficulty to ‘survivor’ (Or rather- this game’s version of ‘normal’). It was fine, that’s where I usually play games at. The standard difficulty. And them chapter 3 happened.

Your basic rundown of chapter 3 is- you’re in this zombie village, and you need to get through this hoard of monsters to reach the gate on the other side. There’s houses to explore for ammo, and items, and the all-important crossbow. To finish off the chapter- your boss battle is with the Sadist (I always just referred to him as ‘Chainsaw Guy’). Now- Playing this particular chapter on a STANDARD difficulty, was enough to make me drop the game for years. Literally. Years. I don’t think I picked it back up to start it again until January or February of THIS year (2017 for reference). And- because I didn’t want to deal with that shit again, I swallowed my pride and played on ‘Casual’ (aka, the pussy easy mode). And from there- it was a fucking piece of cake. Finally getting past dreaded chapter 3, it was smooth sailing from there on out pretty much. I did get stuck on chapter 9, because Ruvik’s an asshole and I got frustrated with his random spawning. But that was more /my/ lack of ability to play the game.

My next ‘drop-the-controller-and-give-up’ moment was at the end of chapter 10- with spider lady Laura chasing me through the fire. I’m pretty sure I was stuck on this part for months (And between you and me- I didn’t even beat it. I threw the controller at my friend and he did it for me). So, that was the next stump of difficulty. Chapters 11-15 were beyond easy, and the ending wasn’t rewarding in the slightest- but we’ll get into that later.

This- is when things start to go downhill. Now as I mentioned before- I greatly enjoyed the beginning of this game. The first few chapters set up a great platform to build this into a fantastic game. But it’s like…they gave up. Literally. Gave up like 3 quarters into the game. Textures were slow loading, dubbing was off, and they rushed the last few chapters so much it was like I blinked and it was over. For Christ sake the last ‘boss fight’ was one head shot that was scoped for you. I remember vividly waiting a good two and a half minutes of loading time into an end-chapter cutscene, only to have the textures still loading- while the cutscene was rolling! My friend and I were dumbfounded. And maybe it would run better on PC. As, I played it on the PS4. So while I’m counting it as a game flaw, I can’t 100% blame it on the game, because I’m not sure if it’s the game’s problem in the first place.

My second biggest issue is definitely the plot. Or lack thereof. My synopsis given above was LITERALLY what I took from this game. And maybe I’m just an idiot- feel free to let me know if I am. But I felt like there were SO many loose ends, and gaps that were never closed. It got to the point where I had no idea which realm I was in at any given moment- and perhaps that was the point? But it was executed rather poorly in my opinion. And at the end of the day- that’s all this little ‘review’ is; my opinion.

And- tied into the plot- there were a lot of characters that just- seemed to be there. I know they all served a vague purpose, but all in all I felt like they could have done something a lot better with all these characters. Kidman was about as bland as you could get- I don’t even remember her first name.  (I just googled it- her name is Juli…) Anyway, I know she had the whole betrayal thing going for her, but it was revealed so late in the game, I had lost interest in her and her character because her appearances were so sporadic throughout the game. Similar could be said about Joseph- even though he had a stronger presence than Kidman did. And admittedly I do have a soft spot for Joseph for whatever reason, but that doesn’t stop how….’there’ his character is. Systematically, what was Joseph there for? I understand he’s supposed to symbolize Sebastian’s consciousness, and all that cool metaphorical jazz. But what was his literal purpose? Other than to be a companion AI. And then there’s Ruvik, Leslie, and the doctor guy. These ‘antagonists’ were….ehhh. Motivations were hazy and because I’m an idiot I didn’t quite grasp their reason behind doing whatever it was they were doing. What was their goal? What were they aiming for? Hell if I know.

Perhaps, the game was going for ‘vague and mysterious’ and ‘open ended’. But it was left very poorly open ended. Like someone ripped a hole in a plastic trash bag. It wasn’t clean, or put together. And with the announcement of the second installment of this series, I felt I should spill my thoughts and opinions on the game.

Will I play the second game? I hope not. I may watch a playthrough, but I can’t imagine dedicating more time to The Evil Within. It was a hot mess, to be quite frank. But the visuals and atmosphere alone is what will probably have me coming back to this game. Not to play, but just to look at.