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ancha-aus · 6 months ago

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RealAgeAU Drabble - Alone

I am back! ( @spotaus almost forgot you this time woops)

I am gonna be real. I spend quite a while thinking about what I wanted to write next in this little series. And I realised I hadn't had a Nightmare POV drabble in a while!

So we are back to Nightmare :3

First Drabble. Prev Drabble. Next Drabble.

This is a look into what Nightmare had been up to and how he personally took to the changes he went through.

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He hates this.

He hates this he hates this he hates this-

Nightmare shakes his skull. It feels... weird. All of this is weird. He doesn't... He normally isn't this emotional right? It is starting to become hard to remember how it was before.

He hates how he feels.

He is Nightmare!

Terror of the muliverse! The unwanted twin...

He strikes fear in the souls of monsters! Everyone hates him and wants him gone...

Leader of the Gang! Younger brother of Dream...

Bringer of negativity! Untrusted, unwanted and unloved...

He is Nightmare! He is never enough...

And Nightmare doesn't feel like this! This... this... afraid useless powerless ... this way.

Another cold wind and his whole body shivers in the cold. Nightmare is quick to tug himself behind some boxes and pulls the hoody closer around him.

He hates being out in the open. Being in the open risks him being seen and when people see him they will try and hurt him again they will realise he is no longer his powerful self and...

His mind freezes at the implications of what will happen when people realise how powerless he is now. They will realise that Nightmare is weak and they will take revenge.

Revenge on all that he did. Revenge on defending himself.

It would be deserved. It would be deserved.

Nightmare shakes his skull again. Those thoughts... They keep coming back. Things that he hadn't thought about in ages. Thinking in ways he hadn't thought about in ages. Nightmare had thought... he thought that was in the past. Just like being weak and powerless was in the past.

Aparently not. As his form had shrunk to be so small. Nightmare thinks he is just under three feet. Back to the length he had been all those years ago. the same body he had had all those years ago. Even the hold wounds and pains had returned.

Ironic that the wound that would have killed him became healed and hidden but everythign else was still there. as if it had been frozen while he had been older.

Nightmare tugs the hoody tighter around him. It is too big but that is alright. It is warm and soft and makes him feel a bit better he feels safe in it. Even if he knows it doesn't make sense. It jsut brings him comfort.

Hell if Dust finds out he stole from him...

The villagers never reacted well to Nightmare having anything. Even things that Dream had gifted him had been taken and destroyed. He doesn't deserve to have things he likes after all. And Nightmare has quite a few things he really likes at the moment.

The hoody, his book, the old backpack and his feel tools to survive on his own.

Nothing truly compared to what he had managed to make before, when the apples gave him power. But yet... this means more...

It is starting to get hard to remember how to think and plan. The longer he is in this form... his old form... the before apple form. The harder it becomes for him to rationalise and think how his older self used to think.

Which... isn't promising.

Still. He came with a mission. And that is food.

Nightmare glances around the corner and down the street. This is some Lustverse universe. Nightmare can't quite feel and sense the differences anymore but he knows the basics.

If he had known that so many of his powers and skills would disappear he would have grabbed his book with the muliverse verses summaries.

Nightmare had figured he hadn't needed it as he knows the multiverse and can sense things. Oh how he had been the fool on that.

At least the balance wasn't demanding his attention and foucs every five seconds now. that makes it a bit easier to plan with his now much more limited attention span and problem solving skills.

Back to the matter at hand. Lustverse. He specifically went here because most of the Lustverses have a deep wish for children and so a deep care. Even if they are... X-rated.

Nightmare takes a deep breath and looks into the distance and his destination. Grillby's.

Yes. He knows what Grillby's is in these universes, and yes he knows he runs into the risk of running into this universes Sans or Papyrus which will just spell trouble.

However he much prefers to go to these locations as it is less populated and generally friendlier.

He pulls the hood up and goes towards the building. No bouncers near the enterance but then again it isn't like they have children or underaged people in these areas.

Nightmare goes inside and makes sure to keep staring down as much as he can. He only glances around once to locate the bar where he can get food and goes straight there.

Oh how he dislikes being here. Too many people. Maybe he shouldn't have gone to this universe. He will stand out too much. But people won't attack him either as he is a child... he will be safe here...

He gets to the bar and with some light difficulty manages to climb up the chair enough. No one really notices as everyone focusses on the main stage and leer and shout some very pointed comments.

Nightmare doens't feel comfortable hearing those things either and realises he never felt comfortable about these things. Even when he was still an adult and others joked with him about these type of things. Had... had he always still been... like this at his core?

Problem to think about for later. Now he has to order.

The Grillby of this universe looks at him and waits.

Nightmare doesn't feel so certain about this anymore but still he asks "What... what is on the menu?"

Grillby pauses and shoots him a weird look but Nightmare just hides further into the hoody. Thanking his lucky stars that Dust's left over magic makes it so that the hood hides his face.

Grillby ends up pushing a menu over. Nightmare glances down and feels his skull explode with warmth. That is the WRONG menu!

Nightmare looks away from it and stares at the bar as he pushes it back "I meant... food... menu..." He didn't remember that wrong right?! These places also sell food right? Even if it is more snack food?!

Grillby doesn't say anything but Nightmare doesn't dare to look up. He feels tense and keeps glancing back at where the door is. Getting out is easy enough but he wouldn't know where to go after and-

The menu is pulled away and a new one is pushed into his hand. nightmare glances and lets out a sigh of relieve as he sees actual food! only to feel his hope sink as those prices are way too high!

Nightmare freezes as he stares down at the prices. Okay. okay this is fine. just. find the cheapest thing!

He focusses on the menu and searches for the most promising item to buy. He knows he is pulling a face at most of the prices. 150G?! 160G?! What even is this capitalism?!

Eventually he gets to the snack section and isn't too happy wiht it. Snacks aren't good for mortals and kids.. so not good for him. but he needs to eat. the finger food looks okayish... 60G is still a lot but Nightmare will just have to accept it.

His magic is too low to make another jumb and stealing anything is a sure way to get him to be noticed. He searches for his pocket and takes out his bag of gold. He opens it and starts counting the gold coins.

Nightmare mutters the numbers softly to himself. He had been starting to notice that it was getting harder and harder to do certain things. one of them is counting higher numbers. counting out loud helps a tiny bit.

he finishes counting at 54 and freezes. No. no no no no no!

Nightmare pulls the bag closer and starts to recount the gold. come on. please.

54 again.

Nightmare feels his socket start to itch but forces himself to keep it in. don't cry. you are not a crybaby. there is no use to cry over soemthing this stupid. if you cry people will see your weakness and use that.

Nightmare pushes the menu back and mutters "Sorry for wasting your time." He gets ready to hop off the barstool-

"Wait."

Nightmre freezes when he sees a hand reach for him and he flinches away. only to fall backwards off the stool with a yelp.

He falls right on his tailbone and groans as it hurts a lot and holds it as he blinks through a new type of tears.

A gasp from above him and Nightmare looks up. Just to see Grillby stare in shock at him. Nightmare is confused before he realises that the hood is no longer on.

Panic.

run.

Nightmare immediantly grabs his hood and pulls it fully on again. He grabs his bag with gold and turns before sprinting towards the exit.

"Wait! It is okay!"

Nightmare doesn't turn around and reaches the exit and rushes outside. The cold hits him like wall and his magic and body both protest at it. it is too cold and he has too little energy and magic.

Some people shoot him looks and Nightmare feels the panic return. He takes a step back before rushing towards the side and disappearing between two buildings.

He runs for a while as he rushes between buildings. until he slips on some ice and falls hard.

aw...

He pushes himself back up with shaking arms and glares at the ground. He is a mess. He lost everything. he tried so hard but what did it matter? in the end nothing mattered. He just lost everything again.

A sob finally escapes him and he just rolls up. He hates everything. he hates himself.

Nightmare isn't sure how long he just lays there feeling miserable.

after all this time nothing changed. He didn't change. after 500 years of spreading negativity and learning. he is still just him. no wonder they left. He wouldn't want to be stuck with him either.

Footsteps.

Nightmare freezes and hugs hismelf tighter. no. no others.

"... kid?"

Ngihtmare feels his breathing pick up and he forces his body too move even if everythign hurts, seems like his double fall agitated his old wounds. he glances around and wiggles himself behind some garbage cans and goes quiet and still. They can't hurt him if they can't find him.

more footsteps and a soft blue glow fills the alleyway. it doesn't take long before Nightmare can see him. It seems that grillby had followed him. Grillby seems to be following the tiny marks left in the snow and stops by the spot where Nightmare had fallen.

A frown on the fire elemental as he touches the ice and- oh. there is blood there. Nightmare slowly raises his hand and touches his skull before feeling pain rush through him. he removes his hand and finds blood on it.

great, he got himself hurt.

Grillby looks to the side and Nightmare follows his sight and freezes at the very clear marks on where he went.

Grillby raises his head and stares right at him. Nightmare remains frozen right where he is as he feels himself shake and his bone start to rattle.

Grillby moves a hand and Nightmare flinches. Grillby immediantly freezes and moves his hand away "It is okay... i won't hurt you."

Nightmare just stares at him. Still shaking and now not just the panic and fear but also the cold. The hoody is warm but not enough to keep him warm. Probably because he grow up in a universe where it was forever spring and early summer.

Nightmare literally wasn't made for the cold.

Grillby inches closer and Nightmare pushes himself further back. The wall is freezing against his back and side but it is better than being near the other monster.

Grillby frowns "Where... where did you come from?"

Ngihtmare stares back. He doesn't have an answer for the other. Not one he wants to give.

Grillby frowns but pulls his bag over "You... you wanted food right?" he pushes the bag closer to him.

Nightmare feels hismelf eye the bag. He needs the food. He wants it so badly. The last time someone gave him food it had been a villager and the food had been drugged all so they could grab him and-

NIghtmare shakes his skull and pushes back further. Stay away.

Grillby frowns at him before trying to give a smile. "It is some of the food you had been looking at." he nudges the bag again.

Nightmare frowns and pushes further back as he glares. people don't just smile at him unless they want something from him. or want to trick him. He isn't falling for it. he swallows before speaking "I don't... have that much gold..." there. he can't pay for it.

Grillby just pushes the bag closer "It is okay. free of charge."

Nightmare glares at the other "No."

Grillby frowns "It is okay-"

Nightmare feels himself get angry and that breaks through the fear "I know you did something to it! leave me alone!"

Girllby looks pained and... pity.

Nightmare hates pity. Dream had stared at him wiht pity after he broke out. as if Dream pitied him for defending himself.

Grillby pulls the bag back over to himself and takes out some of the food. oh that is a sandwich and Nightmare feels his magic knit together and the hunger returns fullforce.

Grillby takes a moment to pull a piece of it and oh that is pulled beef in there and it looks so good. Grillby pops it into his mouth and swallows it.

and... nothing happened.

Nightmare keeps staring at the other as he waits. Nightmare knows from experience those things work very fast but nothing happens to the other.

Grillby lays it back on the paper and pushes it over "It is okay... it is just food."

Ngihtmare gulps as he stares at the food. He hadn't eaten for days at this point and ever since he left his castle three weeks ago he hadn't been eating anywhere near to enough. He reaches for the bag as he thinks. He just needs a little bit of food. just enough magic and he can teleport himself to an another universe. maybe he can get enough energy before whatever drug starts to work?

He gets the bag over to him and feels his resolve weaken quickly. mulitple sandwiches are in there. Nightmare grabs the one that Grillby had taste tested and takes a bite.

It tastes so good and his magic purrs as it finally gets some energy back after these last three weeks. the food demands his attention and nothing else matters right now. He takes bite after bite as his stomach fills up.

by the time half of it is gone he feels overfull and Nightmare knows he ate way too much. He feels so much better even if he is still cold and wet from the snow.

Grillby frowns at him "Is that all you will eat? You sure you don't want to eat more?"

Panic and suspicion returns nad Nightmare frowns at Grillby again. He waits a moment before nodding and pushing the bag of food back. including the half finished sandwich.

Grillby frowns and shakes his head "It is okay. Keep it for when you get hungry again... were are your... parent? parents?"

Nightmare glares "does it matter?"

Grillby smiles again and Nightmare doesn't feel any less suspicious of the other. Girllby nods "Well, yeah. I wanted to return you to them." and he waits.

Nightmare stares at him and feels spiteful "She died. She was murdered a long time ago. I don't have any family." not anymore. Not after his mother died. Not after he ruined everything and pushed Dream away from him. Not after the gang left and made it clear they didn't actually care.

Grillby just stares at him "You are alone?"

Ngihtmare shrugs "better like that..." no one can hurt him when he is alone. Maybe this was how it was meant to be. Maybe he was meant to be alone. Maybe that is for the better. No one wanted to be near him anyway. He should have seen that for the sign it was.

Grillby reaches a hand out "I am sure we can find some people to take care of you... I have a friend who is also a skeleton and-"

Nightmare shakes his skull and pusehs back "No."

Grillby raises both of his hands in surrender "That is okay... Then how about we go to my place again? There are rooms that you can use and-"

Nightmare glares at him "I am not going with you to a secondary location."

Grillby blinks before noddng "okay. that is okay. where do you want to go?"

Nightmare keeps glaring "I can get there myself."

Grillby looks deeply unhappy. Hah! Good! Nightmare has no doubt that the other was trying to lure him somewhere. But Nightmare isn't an idiot. He isn't just going to trust the other just because he was giving a bit of food.

Grillby sighs and nods "Okay... I need to go back. but if you need help just come by okay?" he smiles "I never caught your name. I am grillby."

Nightmare just looks at the other and raises a brow "That is because i didn't throw it." it just came out without a doubt. He had heard too many puns from the others when they all sitll lived together. He misses them.

Grillby blinks but chuckles "okay. take it easy okay? Get somewhere dry and warm and please just take the food and eat when you need it." he rises to his feet and leaves the alleyway. He pauses near the end for a moment "If you change your mind. You are welcome at Grillby's. We will figure out a safe spot for you okay?" and he leaves after a moment.

Nightmare waits for a bit more. long enough that he only hears the wind after a while and he is shaking in cold again. That is when he removes himself from his, very bad, hiding place and quickly goes towards the spot he had left most of his things. Taking the food with him.

He gets there and feels himelf relax a little bit.

But there is no time to let his guard down just yet. He needs to decide if he wants to risk sleeping here and being found now that people know he is here. Or move on to a new universe.

The new universe would mean a lot of time spend on finding a fitting place to stay again.

Ngihtmare sighs but quickly packs his things. better to be safe. he needs to go now he has the energy nad before this whole situation backfires on him. He is quickly packed and after making sure he got all his things and left zero marks of his stay he opens a portal.

It is so much harder than it used to be. He can also no longer make the long jumps to whatever universe he wants and can only go to the neighbouring universes.

a small and shaky portal of dark mist opens and Nightmare steps through.

Time for the next spot. maybe this one will work better.

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