#how does one simply say: i want some alone time without feeling like a huge asshole

[anelitistsnob]

@kosmiskmysterium​ asked: "do you want me to go?" ( from ellie )

his sigh & heavy & holds all the weight pent up over his shoulders. it's an unfair question in his mind, one with multiple answers that he can't decide between with any confidence.     he didn't, & he did, & he wasn't sure.     xavier didn't cherish being alone any more than he enjoyed spending time with people, but that didn't mean his social battery was infinite. in times of struggle, he too needed some space to think. not only to gain some perspective, but to make certain that nobody would be caught in the crossfires of his process. his emotions took undefined amounts of time & so much mental energy to process, & his main outlet, art, took focus to complete. there were just so many things he needed to get done, & her presence here wasn't making that easy. however to make her leave now felt cruel. he'd just learned more about what life was like for her outside of their little bubble, & it brought him great sorrow to imagine her making the trip back to that place. all because he wanted some me time. it just didn't feel fair. so maybe it was the latter after all, he just wasn’t sure. the decision he had to make was completely unclear. locked in a situation where he wants to do the right thing, but can sense trouble going down that path left him too stunned to speak.

so he shrugs. pathetically he does the least helpful thing & shrugs at her question. xavier knows it's not a good answer, & she deserves something more definitive, but he just couldn't stomach making a choice that would make things worse for her. not without greater pressure. " maybe ? " & he knew that wasn't much better. you could see it in his eyes, & the way his stance shifts uncomfortably under her gaze. he doesn't want to do this right now, & doesn't know how to make it any easier. all he could do was hope for the best, & insist on her making the decision for herself. with only vague suggestions & a lack of real communication.

" maybe enid is, doing something ? you could go see if she wants to hang out with you ? " it sounded far more like rejection than he wanted, but his eyes can barely stay focused on her & the options were seemingly bleak. " or you can stay. "

[cherrysweather]

can i rq edgeworth who has liiike a huge crush on fem reader :3 but reader is like super oblivious to it and she keeps accidentally doing things to fluster him 😭😭

Hellu anoon! I hope you're doing fine and that you take care of yourself! This is so cute, so I hope I wrote it well enough for you to like it ;v; Have a good day and remember the water! <3 -----------------------------------------

Miles Edgeworth x an oblivious crush:

We all know that Miles becomes emotionally incapacitated when it comes to handling feelings different from discomfort, anger or simply his neutral state of mind;

So you can perfectly imagine how many times he stumbles over his words and blushes per se when he's with her;

To start a conversation he has to think about what to talk about, at least two possibilities of her responses, and how to continue it afterwards;

That's the exact motive why her behavior DOES NOT help him, at all;

He doesn't understand if she does it on purpose or if she's that unaware of his own behavior in her regard;

But, from many points of view, Miles doesn't dislike it completely, since it allows him to be somewhat more free without necessarily embarrassing himself, since she doesn't suspect anything;

He often buys her small gifts or takes her to eat after work, but even if he tries with all his strength (which he never can fully use), she always sees it as a "date" between friends;

She probably starts to doubt after Miles' continuous kind gestures, but it's also the last thing she wants to illude herself of, so that's the main reason why she believes anything Miles does for her is just form a friend to another;

So she just tries to reciprocate his affection;

When she finds some particular tea leaves, he's the first one that comes to her mind, so she buys them for him;

Whenever they're together, she likes to hold onto his arm or when they're in very crowded spaces, she holds his hand nonchalantly and just drags him;

She sends some photos of her days and always makes sure to wish him a good morning and a good night;

When she can, she comes to his office to keep him company if she knows that he has to work for many hours (and sometimes even falls asleep on his sofa);

U s e l e s s to say that Miles is even more confused and flustered with each of her actions;

Mostly when she proposes to help him choose the outfits of the day and, once together, she fixes every inch of his, from the shirt collar, that irregular fold on his jacket and her beloved hair;

Oh dear, she has to only skim his scalp to make his temperature rise suddenly, his hands trembling in his pockets when he feels his locks being gently pulled to be styled;

And, of course, the nonexistent distance between their faces (a thing that Miles tries to ignore by keeping his eyes closed);

And at this point, even a whole poster on which is written "I LOVE YOU" will leave her doubting.

"Miles look!" She tugged his sleeve and dragged him near the lakeside "There are little ducklings" She knelt immediately and tried to have a closer look at them "Maybe we should leave them alone; if the mother's around I don't know how she would take two strangers" He lowered himself and made sure she wouldn't fall into the water "I'm not doing anything, yet" She grinned and looked around to see if there was something to feed them "Don't- They probably aren't even developed yet to digest something that isn't water-like textured" He held her still when she tried to get up to take whatever she saw "But I wanted to hold one" She got up anyway and waved to the babies when they started to go away "We should adopt some ducks" She went behind him and hugged his neck, slightly putting her weight on his back "Some? I think one is more than enough, and I'm sorry to say but you'll be the one to keep it" He tried his total best to control the trembling of his voice and put his hands in the water to stop them too, from trembling and to at least try calming the hot wave that started from his face and went everywhere "But why! They're cute, maybe noisy and not exactly calm in the house, but they are soft" "Dogs are also soft, and are way more manageable than a duck" He stood up, attempting to get her to break away from him, but she remained hugged to his neck, on her toes "Just becaaause, you already had one and blah blah, we'll see who's truly right" She moved her arms from the neck to his chest, squeezing him to bother him and prove her point. The laugh that came from her mouth made Miles melt for a second, breathing to calm himself down and -HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW AND WHY- placing his trembling hands on hers, taking the courage to turn around and seeking to clarify whether something could actually exist, between those two.

[seulgiwifeee]

What Shall I Do || Wendy

♡ Member: Gangster*Wendy x Nerd*Femreader

♡ Theme: Fluff, SOME angst (like the TEENIEST bit)

♡ Warning: Cussing, Wendy low key likes to be praised ? :0, she just wants to impress you :(, detailed make-out session (hehe), <<<a TAD bit suggestive during it, slow burn I guess? But it's worth it I promise ⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄ o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝

♡ Description: The troubling girl that Wendy is has found herself falling for the girl who couldn’t be anymore opposite of her. She decides she wants to act upon her feelings, but she doesn’t know how she’ll be able to successfully approach you until she walks past that tutoring flyer that’ll change everything.

Word count: 9.2k (I got carried away..LOL)

(Genuinely didn’t know what to make as the title so I just put the title of a song I thought would go good with reading,, #stream What Shall I do by Hoody and all of her other songs ɞ̴̶̷ ·̮ ɞ̴̶̷)

All idea credits go to the amazing @wendyslegalwife ‘s request ⸝⸝ɞ̴̶̷ ·̫ ‹⸝⸝ ♡ !!

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How could people so polarly opposite ever make things work out between them?

Wendy questioned that each time she'd catch herself staring at the beauty of Y/N, muttering stubborn curses at herself when she'd realize you were making her lose focus and blush in front of her clique for simply existing around her.

They would try to poke sly teases at Wendy, asking her whom she was giving 'lovey-dovey' eyes to, as they'd say, but the sharp turn of her threatening eye was enough to shut them up and make them uninterested quickly.

But anyway, the question still stands—what was so enticing about you?

Why did Wendy have to like you?

You, Y/N L/N, out of everyone in this school?

There was nothing special about you.

You were just a huge distraction and if anything Wendy shouldn't have even been acknowledging your existence.

You're a nobody!

She had better things to focus on and you're not even her type!..

..Or so that's what all her stubborn mind used to tell her.

Now, there's no denying the heady effect that your presence alone has on her each time you enter the classroom. Wendy's the first person to even notice your appearance, and without fail each time, her eyes stay glued onto your figure until her conscious snaps her out of it or if one of her friends nudges her to back to reality.

Was it the way you spoke with your honey-sweet voice any time you answered a question?

The alluring look you'd unknowingly eye your teacher with when you were focused on the information she would share during discussion?

Or how Wendy thought you looked so nerdy-cute from how your large glasses would sit propped down on your nose, practically sliding off, and how your tongue just slightly poked out from the side of your mouth each time you were fixated on completing an assignment?

Or maybe it was all? (It was)

Despite whatever reasoning it could've been, all that Wendy knew in conclusion was that she wanted— No, needed you. Badly.

But she's the most feared girl at the school, along with her little gang. Everyone, plus the teachers and staff members, is scared of or intimidated by Wendy. Yes, including you too.

How could Wendy get with someone who flinches every time she walks past them or nervously looks away when they dare to steal a glance at her for any longer than a split second?

It's not like she's some kind of bully or has ever done anything to you; she'll only become aggressive if someone purposely does or says something to her or her friends to piss her off, and that is when things can get scary, so other than that Wendy's nothing more than a harmless (-ish) troublemaker if no one tries to mess with her.

But unfortunately, the damage of her aggressive and intimidating past actions has left too much of a dent into the school's atmosphere for people not to be uneased by her, and all the fear that's been instilled in everyone's minds is practically irreversible for her to suddenly try acting all soft, thinking that could make people in any way forget the girl she's shown herself to be for last few years.

And aside from the rough image she has to put up with, she knows that you on the other hand probably wouldn't even try giving her a chance to date you.

Like come on, you, Y/N, the girl who makes straight A's, never skips class, avoids drama at any cost, actually cares about her studies, and is probably the sweetest person in this school just to end up with Wendy; this little delinquent she knows that you probably portray of her as who can flip the mood just by walking into a classroom with the wrong look on her face? Not a chance.

But that dismissive thought doesn't deter Wendy because no matter what, she will still do what she can to show you, to prove to you that there's more to her than just the edgy facade she shows on the outside.

It's just.. how will she be able to show it?

She already knows that she can't casually walk up to you because either you would take that as a threat and run away before you'd allow her to get a single word out, or she wouldn't last more than two words into the conversation before you'd run away from the bubbling fear and anticipation. So either way you're going to end up running away.

Okay.. so how will Wendy be able to approach you that doesn't end up with you running away?

Maybe she could find someone who could give her your number and then you two could try messaging?

Never mind, she knows that would just creep you out even more.

Okay, no message, now what?

With each new idea Wendy comes up with, she has to scratch it out because it's either bound to not work or there's just that one flaw that completely ruins it.

Soon, that brain fog kicks her in the ass hard and she can't figure up any new ideas. It doesn't break her determination, of course, she's too prideful for that, but she's definitely losing her patience.

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Wendy walks down the hallways with her usual mean mug, clearing the path of nervous and startled people just by walking near them.

She steps past the bulletin board filled with posters of the school's weekly news, not minding any business to them until she suddenly pauses and makes a rewind back to a little certain flyer that catches her attention from the corner of her eye.

"After school tutoring with a buddy!" is printed in bold blue letters on the poster.

Wendy takes time to read more into it, finding out that the school's top students have joined together to host this little tutoring program to bring students with struggling grades to stay after school so they can get help on understanding their course better and getting their grades up. The person signing up can also choose who they want as their tutor and, surprise surprise, you just so happened to be one of the top students involved with this.

This is perfect. If you end up tutoring Wendy then she can finally have an excuse to approach and start some form of conversation with you, and you wouldn't even have any choice but to talk with her!

But the only downside to this is that you're tutoring for the math section. Wendy can't stand math for the hell of it, that's by far her weakest subject and just one look at her grades can be backed up as evidence to prove it. Also, the spots are very limited since it's only around fifteen students who'll even be tutoring, and there's also another student who's tutoring for math, so it's not even guaranteed to Wendy that she'll end up with you as her tutor if someone doesn't get to you first or if she'll even manage to turn her papers in time before all the tutoring spots, in general, are taken.

And again, she just doesn't want to deal with anything math-related.

But.. whatever it takes for her to talk to you.. she'll just have to push herself through it and risk these chances.

Once she gets the papers, she fills them out and turns them in as quickly as she can, determined to seal her spot with you, and impatiently lives the day on and she waits for the upcoming Friday to find out whether or not she makes it in.

—

The exact moment as Wendy arrives home from school that Friday afternoon, looking down to check her phone as the time changes from 4:59 pm to 5:00 pm on the spot, she grins widely once that confirmation email pops up in her notification bar, letting her know that she's eligible for the tutoring and that you've been assigned to be her tutor. 

Well.. Of course, Wendy got accepted so easily, it would've been incredibly stupid on the school's part for her not to be; the second the administrators received her filled-out papers she was the first student they even signed up for the program. And really.. if the school could've, they would've tried to sign her up for more tutoring other than just math.

Wendy's small moment of happiness, though, is lifted momentarily once the sheer realization dawns on her, the remembrance of certain things said in the tutoring flyer and the things she'd have to face that she didn't take into account earlier all floods back into memory.

She's in tutoring. Tutoring.. meaning she's going to have to be associated with a bunch of other dumbos and idiots.

Also, tutoring sessions are supposed to be happening after school in the cafeteria.

Everyone.

All at the same time.

It doesn't matter to her that the tutoring is one-on-one or if everyone's going to be spread out in their own "private" section of the cafeteria, she can't be seen in front of all these people receiving help. She knows she doesn't actually plan on taking the tutoring seriously since it's just a tactic to get closer to you, but no one's going to catch on to that from the bare eye! They're just going to see Wendy as a weakling!

She can't let that happen.

She hurriedly types out an email to Mrs. White—the vice principal and head person in charge of this program—asking if there are options to tutor somewhere else, and not too long after, she responds back suggesting that you two could tutor separately from everyone else in one of the empty classrooms, but that solution is not good enough for Wendy.

She needs the two of you to be alone, somewhere more private than that.

Matter of fact, she doesn't even want to be on school grounds when you two are having your sessions.

Wendy writes again, asking in desperation if it's possible she and you could work off campus, but all Wendy's told is that the first session has to be done on school grounds, just so everyone can be monitored and can be seen if there needs to be any switching around and other nonsense Wendy didn't care to finish reading about.

Although.. Mrs. White at the end did say that after the second or third session, she'd see what she could do for you two regarding this, but Wendy knows that "I'll see what I can do" bullshit 99% of the time usually means there's nothing that can be done.

Well, that's great.

Wendy's nowhere near satisfied with this, but again, if she wants to get closer to you, then she'll just have to deal with this nonsense.. she supposes..

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Sooner than Wendy can even realize, the day finally comes.

She never realized how much she'd really been anticipating this day until the final dismissal bell of the day rang, her heart dropping as everything suddenly hit for her to process; she can't tell whether she's more excited or nervous.

As she exits the classroom, her little gang is confused once they see her creeping the opposite way of the exit and all begin to question her.

She makes up a quick lie along the lines of needing to go to the bathroom and that all of them could just go ahead and leave since she'll catch up with them later. And like the airheads they are, they somehow believe her, not even giving her any further questions before they go on and leave campus.

Wendy lets out a sigh of relief and once they're far out of her peripheral, Wendy quickly speeds down the hallways, not caring one bit if she bumps into anyone, and hides around a secluded corner in the science building. She makes sure to keep herself hidden from any lurking eyes, continuously checking the time on her phone to see if it's anywhere close to the time yet for the tutoring.

"Hurry up.." she mutters impatiently looking down at the time and tapping her finger on the wall behind her as she keeps an alert eye out to make sure no one's walking near her.

The slow minutes tick by and it only serves to heighten Wendy's anticipation, but after what feels like forever she looks back at the time and sees that it's just five minutes past the time tutoring was officially supposed to begin.

She finally curves out from the corner, quickly peeking her head out to make sure the coast is clear before she marks her way toward the cafeteria doors. She takes in a deep breath, clenching her fists to her sides before she brings herself to open the doors.

As Wendy steps inside, she looks around at all the people inside getting situated with each other. Lingering near the entrance, some people sitting around spot her there and a quick change of emotion from their once cheery, talkative expressions is noticed—Fear.

Of course..

Wendy rolls her eyes at them, unbothered, and walks towards an area where there's a group of people sitting, assuming that's where she should be sitting too.

She sits at the end of the table and immediately buries her head into her phone, not wanting to draw any attention to herself, which honestly she knows is pretty useless since her classmates can very well still see her and are very well terrified and confused about why she's here.

Wendy feels an abrupt shift in the table as she watches her phone and looks in the corner of her eye to notice everyone scooted further away from her. She scoffs, putting her attention back to her phone and muttering under her breath, "Losers."

Everyone around Wendy joins with their tutoring partners as she restlessly continues to wait for you. She can feel cold sweats trickling down her forehead as her hands begin to shake. Wow, you were the one making Wendy nervous. Only could you ever do that to her.

She continues to distract herself scrolling through her social media until she notices a pair of feet approaching her and hears a small voice speak out. "Uh.. Wendy?"

Wendy looks up, her heart skipping a beat as she meets eyes with no one other than you. But her demeanor clearly doesn't show her nervousness, seeing as you cling tighter to your notebook in a tense stance.

Wendy quickly softens her features once she notices your uneasiness and tries her best to play a sort of soft, inviting smile instead. "Y/N?"

You nod your head hesitantly, not fully trusting the sincerity in Wendy's smile, and look down at your notebook.

"So.. looks like I'm tutoring you," you mumble with a blatant tone of awkwardness, placing a piece of hair behind your ear as Wendy nods along.

"Which table would you like to work at?" you ask, trying your best to mask the edging fear layered behind your voice with a fake smile.

Wendy's eyes spark up and she suddenly stands up from the table, causing you to flinch and instinctively take a step back.

"Actually, I was told that we were allowed to study alone in one of the unused classrooms."

Your pupils dilate instantly just at the mere thought of being trapped alone with Wendy. It was already bad enough that you were chosen by her to be her tutor buddy, but now she wants you two to be isolated from everyone just to where she could do god knows what, whether it's something to you or someone else? This is like asking for death.

"Uhh.. are you sure you wouldn't just like to study over there somewhere?" You gesture your finger towards a different direction in the cafeteria in hopes of changing her mind, but her plan stays firm as she shakes her head.

"And be stuck seen in here with these losers? It's already degrading enough for me just having to sit at this table, you're real funny if you think I'm staying over here any longer." Wendy walks past you without warning, heading towards the exit.

"B-But.." you call out weakly as she walks further away. You mutter a curse under your breath, holding in a deep breath before you push your legs to reluctantly follow after the troubling girl.

You guys walk down the empty hallways in silence, an awkward tension very noticeably stirring up between you two as you try your best to avoid eye contact, maintaining a fair distance while Wendy struggles to think of how she can spark up a flowing conversation.

After a few turns searching around the hallways, you two find a vacant classroom. You open the door with your key, but Wendy still somehow manages to get a hold of the door before you, holding it open as her hand gestures for you to go inside. You quirk a brow but nod your head in a simple gratitude as you step inside. The further you walk inside, the more you start to regret signing up to do this tutoring program.

You really don't want to be alone with Wendy. You don't understand— Well, you do understand why you're so unsettled around Wendy because of obvious reasons, but it's not like Wendy's ever done anything to you specifically. She's never hit you, threatened you, or given you a dirty look.. Shit, you're not sure if you've even spoken to her other than today.

And if you're being honest with yourself, you know you're only scared of her because of all the rumors that's been passed around. Because truth be told, you've never really seen her in action before with your own eyes.

So why is your body giving you symptoms that make you seem like you're so terrified of her?

Why is your heart beating in erratic patterns even while she's not doing anything to you?

Maybe you don't trust her?

Yeah, that's it. You just don't trust her.

You sit at one of the tiny desks and Wendy pulls a chair out from another desk, setting it across from you. As she pulls out her phone you look back down at your clipboard. "Alright, so you need help with algebra 2 I see.." you mutter and Wendy hums unenthusiastically.

"Do you have any homework assignments that we can look over?" you ask, but she shakes her head muttering a quick "nope."

"Well, do you have any note—"

"Nope," Wendy says bluntly, interrupting you before you can barely finish your sentence.

"Do you have anything algebra-related in your binder?"

Wendy shuns you with another sharp “no.”

You sigh with disappointment, though you're not surprised, mumbling an awkward "okay" and flip through your work folder. "Well, that's okay because I have some worksheets in here that we can work on together, so—"

"—Hey," Wendy cuts in again, a little more aggressively than she had intended. Your ears perk up from the sudden, harsh interruption as your heart begins to gradually pick up its pace again as you hold your breath. "Yes?"

"You know, this is our first day of sessions. Don't you think we should get to at least know each other better so that we can get more comfortable working with each other?"

Oh, you're pretty sure you know Wendy well enough.

"Um.. I guess?" you mumble with uncertainty.

Wendy smirks and leans back into the chair, grunting as she stretches out her arms. Your eyes narrow down for a split second, noticing the shiny belly piercing adorned on her toned stomach as her dress shirt slightly lifts. Cute.

"So.. I already know we have each other's names established by now—me, Wendy, you, Y/N," Wendy says and you nod.

"So then, Y/N, tell me some things about yourself so that I can get to know you better."

"Just anything?" you ask and Wendy nods.

What is this, an interrogation? Why would Wendy care anything about you? Was this all just a distraction so that you two couldn't start on any work? (Yes, it definitely is)

"Um.. Uh.." you don't know what to start with or say first because, well, what are you supposed to say when you're put in such a sudden and awkward position?

"Come on. Just tell me the basics, like what's your favorite color?" Wendy says trying to help by giving you some ideas.

"Umm, my favorite color is blue."

Wendy nods, biting her lip. "Me too.. What's your favorite candy?"

"I like any sour candy," you state simply.

Wendy hums with the subtle nod of her head again. You continue for the remaining minute answering Wendy's questions about yourself, but you suddenly begin to stumble on your words, avoiding eye contact each time you speak as her piercing gaze bores into you in a somewhat intimidating way.

"Yeah, I have a younger sister and she.. she.." Wendy's resting bitch face is in full play and it does nothing but intimidate you. Her dull eyes pierce into the depths of yours, an impassive look's glued to her face as the corner of her lips is hung downturned.

Wendy's clueless about your fear because this is only her focused face, she's taking the time to study each and every one of your intricate features. She can't control the way her features curve, she doesn't even notice her facial language looks threatening in any way right now, but once she sees how uncomfortable you've suddenly gotten she quickly realizes and softens her expression again.

You still don't say much, avoiding eye-to-eye and staring down in your lap.

Wendy frowns and taps her acrylic in front of you to grab your attention. You look up, breath slightly shaky as you lock eyes with her once again.

"Hey, I know this is kinda awkward having to work with me n' stuff, and I know you're probably scared of me, I can't really blame you, I guess, but I swear I won't do anything to you.

Besides, it's not like you've ever done anything to piss me off, so there's nothing to even worry abbot. I promise I won't bite." There's a hint of humor to her words.

You look into her softened eyes and for once, you seek a little comfort. You notice your muscles have tensed down and you sense a small truth to her words. Still hesitant, you mutter an "okay" before you and Wendy continue this little get-to-know-each-other thing, you gradually loosening up and getting more comfortable the more you talk with her.

You and Wendy end up not getting any worksheets done or even starting on anything.

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You sit alone in the classroom, your patience gradually wearing thin as you wait for Wendy to arrive for your next meet-up.

It's nearly been seven minutes past the time the session was originally supposed to begin and Wendy still hasn't shown up or answered any of your questioning text messages regarding where she was.

You lean back in the chair, your feet propped up on the desk as you scroll through your phone to pass the time quickly. After another three minutes or so, Wendy finally arrives with a plastic bag in hand.

She sits in the seat already propped out for her and places her belongings down. "Hey!"

"Hi," you mumble. "You're twelve minutes late."

"My bad, my bad. Just had to go to the store real quick." She lifts the plastic bag, pulling out two water bottles and two bags of candy.

She slides one of the bags and a bottle over to you. "Here."

You never asked her to bring you anything.

You look down and see a bag full of blue raspberry gummy bears all coated in that sour sugar.

Coincidence?

Wendy brought you a bag of blue, sour candies right after you told her the other day that your favorite color was blue and your favorite types of candy were sour?

Maybe you're thinking too much into it since Wendy also bought herself the exact kind of gummies, but your intuition was right because Wendy was, in fact, doing this on purpose. You didn't know it, but this was her subtle way of showing her affection towards you.

You soon noticed a pattern as your sessions continued; Wendy would distract you with questions about yourself, never letting the two of you do any real work, and then the next session she would gift you small things that were or resembled your likings you would've mentioned the day before.

She would be slick about it too because she would never bring attention to the gifts, she would just hand them to you, never bring it up afterward and then continue her distraction question any time you would even think about saying the word algebra.

You can admit, you do appreciate the small gestures from Wendy, but you did not sign up for the two of you to just sit around hanging out and doing nothing productive.

You only volunteered to tutor, not to waste an hour out of your day making conversation with someone who's not even your friend. You might not be scared of her anymore now but you're just barely starting to settle your comfort around her.

You two have already had four sessions now and haven't gone far with anything. The most "work" Wendy's probably done so far is glance at a worksheet..

But you have to hurry up and get some sort of progress in because if the principal finds out you two have just been dilly-dallying the entire time then they won't hesitate to remove you from the program.

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Wendy makes her appearance very known as she busts into the classroom with a mischievous smile, late as usual, and plops down into her seat haphazardly. "Hey, so what's your—"

"We're doing work today."

The charm in Wendy's eyes darkens and her smile fades almost instantly from your sudden interruption. "What?.."

You slam your folder in the middle of the desk and slap a blank worksheet on top of it. "I said, we're doing work today."

Wendy narrows her eyes at you, quirking a brow. "Okay well, it's Friday. So that means today's technically a free day so really we can just start working on assignments next week—"

"—No, Wendy!" you state firmly, making sure to amplify the harshness in the tone of your voice. Your eyes widen slightly as you surprise even yourself with your use of assertion, it's a foreign concept to your usual sweet nature, but you narrow them down back seriously. "If you continue to goof off instead of completing any of your assignments then I'm going to have no choice but to cancel our sessions and find another person to tutor for."

Wendy's taken aback slightly by your change in tone, her impassive expression slightly making you uneasy since you can't tell what she's thinking or how she'll take this, but she doesn't try to fight your words and just ends up sighing, resting her cheek into her palm as she looks off with disinterest. "K.."

Concealing your feelings with a smile, you nod as a wave of relief washes over you, inhaling a jagged deep breath after you had unknowingly held in your breath again and pointing to the first problem on the sheet.

"This is a pretty simple problem to start with. Do you think you can try this out for me?" you ask with a forced tone of enthusiasm just for Wendy to shrug nonchalantly. "I guess."

You hand Wendy one of your pencils and slide the sheet closer to her. "Remember, I'm here for a reason, so whatever step you may get stuck on just ask about it."

Wendy gives you a single nod without looking up at you and stares down at the worksheet, all the numbers and wacky symbols already giving her a headache. Math.. God, the one thing she was trying to avoid doing.

After a minute of Wendy just staring at the paper, not even attempting to jot anything down, you tilt your head. "Do you need any assistance?"

Wendy groans. "No.. No. I'm fine! Just.." She grits her teeth, airing in aggressive breaths as her grip on your pencil intensifies until she punctures the sharp tip of the pencil into the paper, the lead slightly crumbling underneath the force as a tiny hole is formed. Oh no, she's getting stressed.

"Wendy seriously, I—"

"—I got it. Okay?!" she snaps, smoke practically blazing out from her ears. You flinch back from the aggressive tone, just nodding and deciding to stay silent, not wanting to irritate her any more than she already is.

You watch closely as Wendy sketches random lines and numbers, erasing them all and rewriting different ones just to erase those ones as well. Her mind cascades into a whirlwind of panic as the pressure starts to weigh down further on her, beginning to hurriedly jot down random stuff in the hope it will form some sort of sense and refresh her memory.

Wendy doesn't know a single thing she's doing. She never pays attention in her classes, especially not math, so this girl can't even grasp an idea of how to start these stupid equations.

And now she's in front of you, looking like a dumbass as she struggles with a problem that's supposedly supposed to be one of the easiest.

Wendy knows most people look down upon or think lowly of her when it comes to her smartness and knowledge in the core subjects, and of course, she's been one to never give a fuck about their opinions because she can just fight anyone who dares to speak about it, but it's different now that she's stuck in front of you struggling on basic problems, feeling your piercing eyes never leave her.. It makes her feel smaller. Dumber.

Heat radiates off Wendy as her cheeks flush a bitter, crimson red, and her face contorts into a grimace as her mind turns foggy. She's absolutely reached her limit now. She throws your pencil across the room, you ducking sideways just in time, and she buries her face into her palms, groaning in almost a screech and roughly pulling down on the sensitive skin of her face.

"Wendy? What's wrong? What are you struggling with?" you quickly glance down at her paper, seeing all the eraser markings and random numbers.

"Fuc— Everything! I don't fucking know any of this x and y shit!" Wendy blurts out, panically running her fingers through her hair as her face hues a darker red from stress and embarrassment, maybe even shame. "I—I—"

"—Wendy, calm down. Look at me."

She hesitantly lifts her head until you two lock eyes. You bore your vision far into the depths of her dark eyes, frustration clearly displayed outside, but there's also a newfound look of vulnerability you notice as you search deeper—something you've never seen Wendy express.

"I feel so stupid, Y/N.. I-I just don't know what to do," Wendy admits sheepishly, her eyes wavering as she looks down with a burning shame.

"Wendy.. it's okay to not know everything. That's the reason why you were put in tutoring in the first place—so I can help you. (Well..)

There's no need to push yourself down." You reach out to lightly place your hand on her arm but quickly pull back once she stares at you again with her sharp gaze.

Man, now you're talking to Wendy like this? Never has she felt so little, showing this side of her vulnerability to someone, especially to you. But in a way, despite how bashful she may feel right now, there's still a comfort she feels in admitting her weakness to you.

"Come on, look at me," you encourage. She looks back at you and sighs.

"I'll promise to go easy on you and make sure you understand this well enough, you just have to stop avoiding it."

Wendy tenses down and nods. "Okay.."

You smile and pull out your folder again. You pull out a note packet and place it in front of her. "Okay, let's start with refreshing our memory with the basics."

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To both of your surprise, there was a upgrade in progress from Wendy after the next few tutoring sessions.

No, it wasn't and still isn't an easy flow teaching Wendy when you're basically starting from the bottom, but at least you could tell she was actually trying, putting in some kind of effort. Although she still managed to sneak in some distraction questions to steal some minutes of your time; there was just no way Wendy was going to make it through an entire hour doing nothing but work, especially in her most hated subject. Even if it's with you.

She also continued to give you small gifts of the things you liked at the beginning of your sessions and you would still humbly accept them.

"Is this right?.." Wendy asks as she nervously slides the worksheet toward you.

She bites her tongue in anticipation as she watches you inspect her work. You look back over to her with a soft smile and nod. "Mhm, you did this perfectly!"

Wendy's eyes immediately light up, biting her lip as she tries to suppress a smile.

You've also been very observant of Wendy recently. Very.

Her actions, and the way she reacts to certain things.. One thing specifically you've noticed was the way her eyes perk up anytime you're pleased with an equation she solves correctly. She genuinely gets so giddy and smiley, it's almost like she's happy to make to proud.

Or the look of contentment on her face whenever you'd flash her an assuring smile, letting her know that it was okay for her to make mistakes whenever she'd start to become hard on herself.

You've also noticed other things.. Like her piercing obsession.

Both of her ears are pricked with piercings from the bottom to the very top; it almost seems like there's a new one placed in every other session! She has a belly piercing that you've already noticed during earlier meet-ups, a nose piercing, a lip piercing, a tongue piercing?!

And sometimes when she.. free balls it, you catch yourself looking down at her chest and noticing piercings in a little certain area you're too ashamed to admit you enjoy staring at. But hey, you only stare back when they look at you first!

As more time went by, you started to realize that even on days when you two weren't having your sessions, all the images of Wendy's piercings stayed engraved in your mind.

You weren't shy to admit, they were sexy and you did believe they made Wendy more of an attractive person.

But maybe that wasn't the only thing that you felt made her attractive..

Maybe it was the flow of her husky voice every time she spoke, the plumpness of her dark red lips moving keeping you transfixed.

Or maybe it was all the silver rings adorned on her slim fingers clacking against one another.

Or the comforting vanilla musk that trailed her every which way she went, although you did think it didn't really match her vibe.. But maybe that was what you thought made you find it more attractive.

Maybe it was the curve of her slender nose or the contour of her defined cheekbones. Her perfectly smokey makeup or the thick bangs that just barely covered the edge of her eyes as she carefully gazed at you with that look she'd shoot you with each time she was focused on listening to you talk.. the way she'd slowly lick her lips and ever so lightly bite the bottom of her lip.. every 'mhm' she hummed and the gentle nod of comprehension that'd come right after when you would ask her if she understood what you said..

Maybe.

Maybe.. you not only thought these qualities made her an attractive person.. but that these were the specific things that made you attracted to her.

Maybe the flutter in your heart every time you would catch yourself around her all this time wasn't actually out of fear or of not trusting her, but because deep down you were falling for her and that you subconscious was just trying to dismiss those feelings..

And just maybe.. you need to stop thinking 'maybe' to all of these things when you know it's all true.

You can't even try to deny it.

There's no 'maybe' anymore.

You are crushing hard on Wendy.

And normally you would shame yourself for having these feelings, falling for someone like Wendy out of everyone, but there's something about this side of her she's been showing you for the past few weeks and her charms that doesn't make you feel any regrets for feeling this way and only drags you deeper into her love trance

You and Wendy are basically flirting with each other in your sessions now.

She tells you jokes to make you blush, you stare at her in ways that you know will get a bright flush out of her, you two give footsies under the desk, you two bring each other snacks, sharing them, you two just blush at each other when you're not even doing anything!

There really is no hiding it, at this point.

Anyone with vision can clearly see you two want each other.

And you weren't stupid, though maybe a little obvious at first, because as more sessions went on you quickly caught on and realized that all of Wendy's gestures since the very beginning were all planned out and were done with the intent to win you over. And it was working.

Wendy on the other hand still wasn't sure whether or not you were feeling her.

Obviously, she could see the difference in your comfort level with her from the beginning of your sessions to the present, but what if you were only seeing her as friend material at most?.. which of course isn't true because you know you like Wendy, but as long as you don't confess it to her then she won't ever be sure.

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"Okay, solve this last problem for me, and then we'll be done for today," you tell Wendy as you point to one of the unanswered problems sitting on the worksheet.

Wendy nods, beginning to write away, and after no more than two minutes she hands you back the sheet. "Is this right?"

You scan her work and with a simple smile you lift your gaze back to her, humming a gleeful "Yup!"

Wendy blushes and applauds mini claps as she grins widely. "Finally. We're done!" she celebrates, springing up from the seat and picking up her bag.

You follow along with her, gathering all your belongings and putting them up before you throw your bag over your shoulder and follow Wendy out of the classroom, promptly locking the door afterward.

"So, where are you headed to once you leave?" Wendy asks as the two of you strut down the empty halls side by side, barely an inch of distance between you two.

You roll your eyes slightly with a chuckle. "Why do you ask me this every day when you know what my answer's going to be; home."

"Oh yeah.." Wendy mumbles as you roll your eyes again playfully. "So, what are you gonna do when you get home?"

"Study," you tell her simply and she fake gags, muttering "nerd" which results in you playfully shoving her side as you two fall into a mirth of laughter.

As you two exit the building, you feel a sudden buzz come from your phone. You look down and immediately frown, seeing as your mom just now had given you a heads up that she wasn't available to pick you up from school today.

Wendy hears your groan and turns to you. "What?"

"My mom can't pick me up, now I have to order an Uber.." you mutter, crossing your arms.

"Orr.. you could just let me take you home," Wendy blurts in a suggestion, holding her hands up as she holds a shrugging stance. "Just saying."

You shoot her an unsure look, not because of the idea of her wanting to take you home, but because that would mean you would have to ride on her motorcycle. And for someone who's never stepped foot near a motorcycle having someone like Wendy be the first person to drive them on one is kind of a terrifying thought.

"I don't know.."

"Oh come on, it won't be that bad," Wendy assures rolling her eyes.

You narrow your eyes at her. "Sure.."

—

You cling around Wendy for dear life as you scream the entire fifteen minutes on the ride to your house.

Wendy giggles and continuously jokes with you throughout the way, teasing you with scares by randomly swerving or stopping in the middle of the road to tick you off.

As soon as she pulls up to your house you let out a huge sigh of relief. With how she was driving, you thought you weren't going to make it out alive.

As she parks, you continue to keep your head leaned on her shoulder, your arms still wrapped around her waist, squeezing tightly onto her abs.

Starting to blush from your action, Wendy jerks her head, clearing her throat to catch your attention, and you quickly widen your eyes in realization, letting go of her now feeling embarrassed once you see how you remained around her.

You unbuckle and pull off your helmet, handing it back to Wendy and she lazily hangs it on the steering handle. She rotates her body to the side and turns only her head to you as she watches you pull off your backpack and reach inside for your glasses.

You place your glasses on, slipping back on your backpack before looking over to Wendy, immediately locking into her gaze. "I guess I'll go now.." you announce unenthusiastically, prepping yourself to sit up from the motorcycle, but yet you don't find yourself moving.

"Alright.." Wendy says lowly, continuing to stare at you as she waits for you to make your move, but you don't budge. Not even an inch.

You continue to sit, motionless, held in a standstill gazing at Wendy as she shoots you an equal gaze.

She bites the corner of her lips hungrily, you unknowingly wetting yours slightly. The buzzing tension between you two grows as you subtly inch closer to each other; the unknown force between you is practically impossible to resist and the way Wendy's staring at you is so much more different than usual.. The burning intent behind her eyes is unspoken, yet you can understand it so well. And Wendy can see all the desires floating in the pearls of your unwavering eyes, letting her know that you're feeling the same thing she is.

The both of you can already sense what's coming next.

The thumping in your heart beats quicker as you inch closer to the point where both of your legs are pressed against each other. You two continue and continue to hold your hungry gazes until you finally crash your lips together in a heated kiss full of need and longing.

Your hand explores the back of her head, her hand cupping your cheek tightly as the kiss gradually deepens. Her tongue slips past your teeth in search of yours, dancing all around in your mouth and you softly moan at the action.

You two are kissing like you've done this thousands of times with each other.

After a few seconds you two finally pull back breathlessly, your chests heaving up and down and faces red.

"Oh.. wow.." Wendy mumbles, biting her lip as she eyes your numb lips that are now stained with her cherry lipstick.

You feel your cheeks burning, not even knowing what to say, and dart your eyes between Wendy and your house. You stare at her, wrapping your arms around her waist as you pull yourself in impossibly closer against her.

"I want to do that again."

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"Anddd done. Is this good?" Wendy asks, looking down at you with a simpering smile and holding out the sheet with her completed equation.

You take a few seconds to inspect it before placing it on the desk and warmly smiling up at her, silently already letting her know what your answer is. "Yup, you got this correct too!"

Wendy grins, holding her arms tighter around your neck and adjusting herself more comfortably as she sits in your lap. "Woo! You know, that was the fifth one in a row I've gotten correct. Don't I get my reward now?" Her palm rests under your chin, the tips of her fingers gently tilting your head back so your eyes only meet with her gaze.

You hum with a nod and lean in, softly pressing your lips against Wendy's. Your hands continue to hold tightly onto her waist, your nails gently digging into her back while Wendy keeps your head firmly propped up in her hold.

What's supposed to be a quick, innocent kiss quickly escalates into something a little more. You part your lips slightly, allowing her greater access to mingle her warm tongue inside with yours. Her breathy moans against your lips buzz throughout your body and you can taste the metal of her piercing as her needy tongue swirls all around your mouth.

Wendy squeezes her thighs around you tighter, clutching onto your hair in her strong grip and you moan slightly, lifting your eyelids as she gently bites down on your bottom lip. "You've been doing such a good job today." The gentle praise vibrates against her lips, sending needy chills up her spine and eliciting a sheepish giggle to bubble out as her cheeks flush a rosy pink. You smile smugly at the way you can make her shy so easily and lick her bottom lip into another messy kiss.

Yeah, uhh.. so you two do that now.

Ever since that afternoon of you guys' first kiss, a new relationship has been blooming between the two of you.

You're not officially dating, but you know you two have made it way past the friend stage now, and by this point, you two do know you like each other.. so why aren't you together?

That's a very good question that neither of you can answer.

Aside from trying to figure out this complicated relationship, you two are incredibly flirty and touchy with each other now, clearly.

Of course, though, only during the tutor sessions; you two act like no more than strangers during the school day, but sometimes during the one class you two share, Wendy will discreetly slide you little trinkets or candies as she walks past your desk.

Also, to bring context about that abrupt make-out session.. a method that you two have thought up to help encourage Wendy, even more, to complete her assignments and get them done correctly is treating her with a kiss for each equation she solves correctly on the first try. And this strategy has worked like a charm.

Like, of course, Wendy will do everything to try her very hardest so that she'll be able to share a kiss with you and hear the sweet praises you love to sneak in between that you know drives her crazy. How could she pass that up?!

You two continue to messily moan into each other's mouths, your hands eagerly exploring all around each other's bodies and the kiss becoming sloppier and losing more meaning as you two melt further into each other.

Right as Wendy's hand slides down to your lower abdomen, daring to try taking this heated make-out session into the direction of something further, she's interrupted as two firm knocks are heard from outside the door.

Now, who would be trying to come in here at this time?

Wendy groans, lazily pressing a series of kisses against your lips until she finally pulls back. She looks down at you in a daze, a smile quickly lifting the corners of her lips as she notices her lipstick smudged all over and around your lips. She places her thumb over your soft cheek, swiping away some of the lipstick before she pushes herself off of you and heads towards the door.

Wendy opens the door, her expression flipping like a light switch as a mean mug already plays on her sharp features, but she softens up just slightly once she sees it's only Mrs. White outside. "Hello, girls!"

As Wendy says her greeting, the older woman notices both of your faces, seeing that deep red stained messily all around your mouths.

She furrows her eyebrows in question but quickly shakes it off knowing she'd rather mind her business and not know what you two had been doing prior.

"What brings you here?" you ask as you discreetly try to wipe your mouth, Wendy's lipstick staining brightly onto the back of your hand.

"I'm just here to check up on everyone's progress, to see how well we've all been doing." She walks towards the desk you're sitting at, tapping her pen against her clipboard and clicking her tongue as she turns to look at Wendy. "And I especially need to check up on this one."

Wendy rolls her eyes while you cover your mouth in a silent chuckle.

"Yeah yeah, whatever." Wendy lazily flops down back in her seat as Mrs. White leans against the teacher's desk.

"Wait, so what are we supposed to show you?" Wendy asks, folding her arms under her chest.

"Just try your best to solve some problems on your own. And you," Mrs. White looks over in your direction, "ask her some questions about what you two have been working on so far to see how well she can answer them."

You nod in response and grab your folder, pulling out a sheet of notes. You and Wendy shoot each other one last preparing look, letting out a sigh before you two begin.

Mrs. White is astonished once she sees Wendy actually answering your questions correctly and solving these equations all by herself without even asking or looking over to you for any assistance. Yes, she might've gotten some wrong, but looking at the fact a majority of the problems she solved were correct was just enough for Mrs. White to put a smile on her face.

"Wow, Wendy. I can't believe you've improved so much! I'm seriously so proud of you."

Well, Wendy definitely can't say she hears that "proud" word told to her often. Wendy rolls her eyes, playing a smug smile as she blushes. "Yeah, you should be proud of me!"

Mrs. White shakes her head with a sigh and turns her focus over to you. "And you, Y/N. You've done an excellent job at tutoring Wendy; I don't think I've ever seen growth this significant in such a short time. I'm proud of you both."

You smile coyly, sharing your words of gratitude before Wendy groans and starts to shoo her off. "Okay this is getting too sappy for me, you can get out now."

Mrs. White holds up a pointing finger at Wendy, pursing her lips as she fights to stay professional with her words before she shakes her head, fanning off Wendy, and waves her last goodbye at you as she exits the room.

Once the door closes, Wendy looks over to you, grinning wildly seeing how your arms are already spread out for her.

She steps around the desk, straddling back into your lap and places her hands on your cheeks.

"Now, where did we leave off?"

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As more weeks go by, Wendy only progresses more and more.

If someone had seen her after not knowing who she was a few months ago, they would've never guessed this math genius was the same person.

She's improved so well to the point that it seems like she didn't even need the last few tutoring sessions she had just because she was that good! The grade in her algebra class has skyrocketed to percentages that no one would've believed she could ever achieve, and not only that, but you've also motivated her to take her other classes seriously too!

Of course, they haven't succeeded in advancing as well as her math grade, but at least she was finally turning in her work on time for once in all these years.

Also, Wendy's been so distracted in wanting to impress you, to please you, and to make you happy that she hasn't stumbled herself into any trouble or drama! No fights, no skipping, no detentions, no suspensions. None.

Wendy never expected to go this far with math, let alone any other subjects! It's so crazy for Wendy to think all she needed to take school seriously and become a (sort of) changed woman was to drag a hot, nerdy girl into her life.

The two of you sit on the bench outside the front of the school after you guys finally finish your last tutoring session of the year.

Your head comfortably lays on Wendy's shoulder as you two stare off into the orangey-pink hues of the nearing sunset. As she gently rubs on your thigh continuing to stare off into the sunset, she can't help but want to express the thought that's been lingering in the back of her mind for a while now. She turns over to you, barely parting her lips.

"Are we dating?"

Your ears perk up at the sudden question, turning only your head to her. "Are we?"

You two, after all these weeks and months, still haven't confirmed anything between each other. Why??

Why do you two have to be so complicated??

"I mean, we touch each other like we're a couple, we gaze at each other like we're a couple, and we definitely kiss like we're a couple.."

You turn the rest of your body to her and smirk, placing your hand on her waist and scooting in closer to her. "Well, then I guess you've found your answer."

Wendy blushes and looks down before she meets back with your gaze. "Well, can we go ahead and, you know, confirm it with each other—make it official? Our whole dynamic is going to confuse me even more if we don't put any official label on each other soon."

You giggle coyly and tilt your head. "Alright then. Will you be my gir—"

Before you can finish the sentence, you feel a finger forced onto your lips. You furrow your brows while Wendy shakes her head.

"No, I want to be the one to ask you it!"

You pull her finger down and shake your head slowly as you try to hide a laugh. "Alright then."

Wendy holds onto your hands, interlocking your fingers and squeezing you tightly.

"Y/N.." Wendy starts with a shaky breath, the intense blush on her cheeks taking over as she struggles to not stray her eyes away from you out of shyness. Wendy.. being shy. Once again, only you can do this to her, make her feel like this. "Will you.. be my girlfriend?"

You squeeze her hands tighter, your knuckles turning whiter and flashing her a bright smile. "As long as you'll be mine."

And with that left off as the final words, you two lean in, sealing your relationship with a gentle but strong and promising kiss.

i REALLY hope you guys enjoyed this..

— Seulgiwifee ໒꒰ྀི♡˵ᴗ͈ . ᴗ͈ ꒱ྀི১

[a-twistedheartslonging]

Okay so I'm using this text to speech thing but anyway. so Jade Leach he's living his fan fic life. Like that's just how he lives. he just lives fanfiction. But that's the thing. some of the stuff he talks about in the recent update is genuinely stuff he wants to do. So whenever he was in that event and he's like "oh yeah I have a plan" and he starts listing off all the activities and scenarios that would make him stop everything he's doing and go hang out. But that's the thing. All that stuff that he wants to do is straight up activities he genuinely wants. He wants to hang out, he wants to go hiking, he wants to go discover new things and plants and mushrooms, to go out and do that with you. I just know he is SEETHING about that during the whole scene and especially when he's hiding and watching but can't come out yet. He's so mad which is probably also why he's so brutal about it and happy when he can take out his frustration. But all I can think is that if before all that book 7 stuff - because let's be real there was like a lot of time to hang out and do whatsoever before the whole book 7- but anyways let's say a reader or yuu that likes hiking anyway -cuz let's be real that place is huge, that campus is huge, the ramshackle is right there in the middle of everything plus there's a forest like right next to it- so if you were to just like walking or hiking and you had been hiking that whole time to decompress and explore (though maybe not necessarily with jade and more like as a hobby since NRC life is chaotic so maybe you didn't sign up for stuff etc). It's so over though if you end up making hiking buddies and he finds out. Especially if you two were hanging out anyways before he found out. Jade finds out that you were hiking without him and not only that, you were hiking with somebody else (considering the state of his mountain lovers club). I just feel he's pissed, very jealous though i feel like he both wishes you said something and also that he asked earlier (i can only imagine it's a scenario where you simply never know all of someone's hobbies just cause you hadn't thought to bring it up). Anyways i feel like he'd be so mad, just so mad about all of that. He'd be so mad cuz like "what do you mean that you were hiking without him? what do you mean you had a hiking buddy? you just HAD OTHER HIKERS with you?? how dare you 😡😢??" Especially since Jade has been there for a year and you know he's just so mad, he's so pissed, and he's so jealous and he wants to hang out because i know that Yuu even in canon hangs out with him a little bit but that's the point! He's sitting there and he's like "you're out there living my life, living my dream ,and you didn't even invite me???" he's so mad he's just so jealous of this whole situation

Pardon ramble, i was also using text to speech which was good because i found it easier than trying to type it up but i had to edit it and also pardon if it's tough to read since it's basically my excited speech patterns which can get rambly lol.

i think that'd be a funny fic idea.

You know, it didn't really hit me at first why he seemed to be sadistic with the fake him, but it does make sense that he would be jealous. Even intimidating guys get lonely, and he's made a few different comments before about wanting others to join and how Azul and Floyd aren't fond of his rambles or mushrooms.

I think it would be kind of funny for Yuu, alone or with their hiking buddy, to randomly run into Jade during one of his treks into nature. Why didn't you tell him you liked hiking and nature? 😠 You could have joined his club a long while ago!

You both better join his club to make up for it, if he doesn't like the other guy, they might fall off something though. I guess it would just be the two of you bonding over nature together then...

Being in his club could be a sweet deal, it's a good way to get the guy to have a positive association with you, would probably be hard for others to do otherwise since he and his brother go after peeps they find interesting.

But with this, even if your not the most exciting person, you can gain some of his interest and he might even do certain things to make sure you'll stay in the club. Say something about considering quitting the club since these guys have been bullying you and you just want to head straight to your dorm after class? Welp, it seems they recently got stuck in a contract with Azul, no need for you to change your schedule now.

Ah, the food. You may possibly get slightly poisoned by things until he decides he likes you but the fact that you're willing to try his mushroom stuff gets you more brownie points with the guy. Plus, you get free food often. I hope your like me and love mushrooms.

I'm kind of imagining a situation where you get into his club before Azul tries taking Ramshackle and when it does happen Jade is pretty insistent on getting Azul to let you stay in their dorm and is kind of anxious about you hating him because of the situation and quitting his club.

[xiexiecaptain]

The biggest thing I've learned to help manage my ADHD in regards to getting things done is to Follow Those Impulses

(I'm not saying this will work for or is even a good strategy for everyone, but in my own situation it's helped me.)

I'm like allergic to consistency in schedule and cannot enforce one on myself so all it leads to is self-loathing and failure. Trust me, I've been attempting to will-power, shame-fuel my way through it since I was a preteen (I'm currently almost 30.) It does not work for me.

Obviously medication can give me a huge leg up on stuff. But beyond a certain point my brain is simply not wired for long-term sustained consistency.

As in many of my issues, I've found that working with myself gets better results than fighting myself.

When I follow those sudden impulses of interest and motivation, I get things done.

To the outside, I look absolutely haphazard. I'll pause a show I'm watching mid-sentence, stand up, and go empty the dishwasher because my mood/brain/chemicals *ping*ed that it was suddenly do-able and not a huge overwhelming task. Or I'll be putting away laundry and that *ping* will go off and I'll spend three hours re-organizing my closet.

To a neurotypical, this looks like distracted and disorganized behavior.

To me, it's following the way my brain naturally works in order to accomplish tasks.

My ADHD manifests in that I experience very small and unsustainable windows of motivation and interest. So when I feel that window crack open, doing the Thing right then (when the situation enables me to) can mean the Thing actually happens. Even if it's not the thing I'm "supposed" to be doing.

With a neurotypical in that situation, they might be putting away clothes and think: "Oh, I should organize my closet. I have time this weekend, I'll do it then," finish putting away their clothes, and then organize the closet when they had free time that weekend.

I used to try to do things that way too. Because it was how I was taught that "responsible, real people" did it, and had "finish one thing before you start another" drilled into my head. But I'm literally not wired to work that way. And I've been working on undoing that internalized ableism of believing one way of doing things is better and I need to change to adhere to it. I don't and shouldn't be expected to to my own detriment.

For me with the closet example, the weekend would come and I would spend 5 hours screaming at myself to stop working on whatever did have my interest in order to go organize the closet. Sometimes I might ended up doing it. More often, I would not be able get myself to do it even after all that. I would just sit there, yelling at myself, hating myself despite my brain literally not having the chemicals to initiate the activity (let alone follow through) and nothing would get done. Not even the thing I wanted to focus on instead.

The only thing I did accomplish was hating myself for not being able to do "simple" things like other people (read: neurotypicals.)

This is basically how I spent the majority of my schooling; doing simple tasks felt like running in sand. And I internalized all the messages that told me it was my own fault I couldn't run as fast and in as straight a line as those running on pavement.

The past few years, I've been trying to follow impulses more. And its honestly been really helpful.

I get more done even if it isn't a "consistent" amount or I can't always count on having a specific thing done by a certain date.

But the big thing is that I spend less time hating myself for not doing what I "should" be and more time actually doing things when I have the motivation for them. More shit happens, I'm undoing some of that self-loathing.

tl;dr: My advice for fellow adult ADHD-ers is:

Try to learn what your natural rhythms are and, where possible, try leaning into them. Without judgement, try working with your natural tendencies rather than battling them at every moment. See how it feels, see what you accomplish (and not just in the capitalistic "productivity" way--spending 3 hours hyperfocusing on researching the history of wheat germ counts!) See how your brain and body feel.

Your brain is wired different, let yourself operate different.

[candycandy00]

Hi! Can I ask for a fem x shigaraki smut where she has mind control powers so she kinda orders him around but even when she stops using them on him he’s still all subby towards her ?

I hope this is what you had in mind, Anon! I’m not great at sub!Shigaraki but I tried!

Smut. 18+. Mind control.

The heroes had sent you in for a very specific purpose. Using your quirk on anyone, even villains, brought up huge ethical concerns, but they had grown desperate. Shigaraki was far too dangerous to be left alone, and so you had been called in. 

With your quirk, you could control anyone. You simply overrided their brains and made their bodies do whatever you wanted. They were still conscious, still able to think for themselves and realize what was happening to them. They simply couldn’t do anything about it. Naturally, this was a major violation of human rights, and even the top heroes seemed uncomfortable around you, as if they were afraid you were using your quirk on them without them knowing. 

The plan was simple. You were supposed to sneak into the Paranormal Liberation Front and use you quirk on Shigaraki to force him to surrender himself to the heroes without a fight. But now it’s been three days and you’ve only caught a glimpse of him twice, both times being so far away that you couldn’t use your quirk. Today, however, you’re going to get your chance. 

When you step into the room, posing as a cook bringing him something to eat, you notice right away how cute he is. Not at all what you expected. This is the most dangerous villain in Japan? He’s sitting on a cushion on the floor, one injured leg stretched out beside him, the other tucked beneath him as he plays video games and eats snacks, wearing a black sweatsuit. 

The more detailed version of the plan was to let the other members of the League of Villains see you near Shigaraki for a few days, so that they wouldn’t be suspicious when he left the building with you. The idea was to lead them to think the two of you were going somewhere to hook up. 

So you put the plan into motion immediately. You’re overly friendly with him, and when other members of the League walk in, you straight up flirt with Shigaraki. The others either give you strange looks or snicker, and Shigaraki himself, frustratingly, doesn’t even seem to realize you’re flirting.  

After several days of this, when you feel reasonably certain that none of them would be surprised to see Shigaraki walking out with you, even on crutches, you activate your quirk. 

Shigaraki doesn’t notice at first. No one does until you force them to do something they didn’t intend to do. That’s when they realize their body no longer belongs to them. 

He’s standing near the small table in his room, his back to you, getting ready to eat the dinner you brought to him. You already locked the door so no one could come in and surprise you. Your quirk seemed over powered at first, but it had several limitations. You could only use it on one person at a time, you had to stay in fairly close proximity to them, and you had to stay focused. If your concentration was broken, you quirk would likely deactivate, and you couldn’t use it again for at least an hour. 

Regardless, you decide to give your first order. 

“Turn around, Shigaraki.”

He immediately turns to face you. He looks slightly confused, but not especially alarmed. He probably would have turned upon hearing that anyway. 

“Put your arms above your head,” you say, testing to be sure he’s not some rare type who is immune to your quirk. 

His arms shoot up, and you can’t help noticing the strip of exposed skin as his shirt rides up. He looks surprised now, and he stares at you as he opens his mouth to say something. 

“Don’t speak,” you command, and his lips close. “I’m sure you’re wondering, so I’ll tell you. My quirk lets me take control of you. My commands override the signals your brain sends to your body. I’m going to make you walk out of here with me and turn yourself in.”

His eyes narrow in anger. His mouth opens but he doesn’t say a word. That look on his face, of bottled up rage, does something to you. Upon realizing this, you can’t help blushing and looking away. He’s too cute! 

You compose yourself and turn to face him. “You can put your arms down now. Don’t make any other movements.”

A crack of thunder draws your attention to the window. A few seconds later, rain begins pouring outside and you see lightning in the sky. Luckily, the sudden thunderstorm didn’t break your focus, but it presented a new problem. Everyone would be suspicious if you tried to make Shigaraki walk out of here with you in the middle of a storm! 

You hear a snort and look at Shigaraki. He told him not to speak, but he can still make some expressions. There’s a small grin on his face as his eyes shift from you to the window. Clearly, he’s already figured out your dilemma. You ignore him and pace about the room, thinking. Finally, you sit down on his rumpled bed and say, “I guess we’ll just have to wait out the storm.” 

Half an hour passes, and you walk over to the window to check the weather. There’s no sign of the storm letting up, so you sigh and walk over to the table where you’d left Shigaraki’s dinner. It’s still a bit warm, so you take a few bites and a drink of the wine you’d brought with it. You glance over at him and notice he seems to be grimacing, as if in pain. That’s when you remember that he has an injured leg, and normally doesn’t stand on it for very long.

Feeling guilty, you command him to go over and sit on his bed. He does so, of course, and you think you see a hint of relief in his eyes.  A few minutes later, you hear a knock at the door. You anticipated that this might happen, so you whisper the command, “Say ‘Just a minute!’”

Shigaraki obeys, and you creep over to unlock the door, then rush back over to Shigaraki and climb onto his lap, unbuttoning the first few buttons of your shirt at the same time. His eyes look startled, but you quickly say, “Pretend they caught us making out. Get them to leave as soon as possible. Say nothing about anything that’s happened in the last hour. Now tell them to come in.”

“Come in,” Shigaraki calls, his voice somewhat strained. 

The door opens and Spinner walks in, then immediately freezes as he sees you jump up and out of his leader’s lap, pulling your shirt together. You make a show of being embarrassed, smoothing your hair and glancing at Shigaraki with blushing cheeks. 

“Uh… sorry,” Spinner says, looking infinitely uncomfortable, “I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

“What do you want?” Shigaraki asks. 

“Nothing important. I’ll just… come back later. Sorry.” 

Spinner is out the door before you or Shigaraki can say another word, and there’s a hint of irritation in Shigaraki’s eyes. He probably hoped his comrade would notice something was wrong, but that was unlikely in such a short amount of time. Which is exactly why you’d planned it that way. Hopefully, Spinner would tell the others and they would want to avoid the awkwardness of walking in on their leader getting intimate with the cook. 

You lock the door again and walk back over to Shigaraki. “Sorry, but I can’t risk him coming back in here.”

Shigaraki just stares at you, his red eyes glaring with hatred. For some reason, that look really turns you on. He’s sitting there looking so fine, his legs slightly spread apart, his hair hanging loose and soft around his face.

Before you know it, you’re sitting on his lap again, and his eyes widen. “Let me ask you something. Did you even notice that I was flirting with you all week? Answer honestly, saying only yes or no.”

“No,” he says, still staring at you. 

You slump slightly. “Seriously? But I was so obvious about it! And for the record, it started out as a ploy but it turned into genuine flirting. You’re really cute. For a villain.”

He continues staring at you, his expression unfathomable. You turn your face toward his and lean in. He really is irresistible. 

“Kiss me,” you whisper. 

He draws closer to you and his lips meet yours. They’re rough and dry but you like the way they feel. You open your mouth and his tongue slips in, mingling with your own. You didn’t specify a French kiss but it’s a nice surprise. You pull back and notice his face is slightly flushed and his eyes are focusing on your chest. You look down and realize your top is still halfway unbuttoned, your sheer lacy bra clearly visible. 

You also notice something else: the growing bulge in his pants, pressing into your thigh. This surprises you, since you can make him take specific actions but you can’t force him to feel certain ways. 

You slide off his lap and onto your knees in front of him, then lightly touch the bulge. He stiffens but doesn’t otherwise react. You look up at him with lusty eyes as you slide the waistbands of his black sweatpants and boxers down, letting his cock spring free. You find yourself staring at it, at the surprising length, the pale color, the way it stands straight up at attention. Without really thinking, you reach out and touch the glistening tip of it with one finger, and you hear Shigaraki take in a sharp breath. 

With a start you pull your hand away. This is wrong. Even if he’s a villain, you shouldn’t be touching someone like this without permission. You meet his eyes and give another command. 

“Answer honestly. Say only yes or no. Can I… suck it?”

There’s only a very brief pause before he breathes out, “Yes.”

You don’t hesitate. You immediately grasp it with one hand and begin running your tongue up the length of it, holding his gaze as you swirl your tongue around the tip of it and then close your lips around it, moving your head forward to slide it deeper into your mouth until it hits the back of your throat. 

His breathing quickens as he watches you, and you can’t help wondering what’s going through his head. He’s essentially your prisoner, but you’re suddenly giving him a blowjob in his bedroom. You don’t even want to think about the ethical implications of all this. All you want to do is taste him and feel him twitching in your mouth. 

He holds out as best he can, but after a while you feel him shudder and you try to pull away before he cums, but you’re too late. Half of it shoots in your mouth and the rest splatters on your face. You quickly swallow what’s in your mouth and use your hands to wipe off what’s on your cheek and chin, then wipe them on the nearby bedsheets. 

He’s breathing harder, still staring at you as you stand up. You feel unsatisfied, but his dick is soft now. What to do to fix that?

You unbutton your shirt the rest of the way down and slip it off your shoulders, then unhook your bra, enjoying the way his face takes on a pink tint and his eyes seem to zero in on your bare breasts. You then pull down your skirt, revealing lace panties that leave little to the imagination. That’s when you notice that he’s starting to get hard again. Perfect. 

By the time you slip off your panties and turn around to give him a fantastic view of your ass, he’s fully erect again. You step over to him, so close that he could easily wrap his arms around you (or maybe his hands around your throat, in this case) if he had control of his body. Your own breaths are coming more rapidly as you give another command. 

“Answer honestly. Say only yes or no. Do you want to fuck me?”

“Yes,” he says, no hesitation this time, a desperation to his voice that’s just too delicious for words. 

You smile as you mount him, positioning him just right with your hand before sliding down. Ah, he really is bigger than you expected, you realize as he fills you up. You sit there for a moment, letting your body stretch and adjust to him, watching his eyes cloud with pleasure. Then you begin moving, sliding your hips up and down his length, slowly at first, then getting faster and harder until you’re riding him with everything you have, moaning and tossing your head back, your hands gripping his shoulders, your breasts practically in his face. 

You glance down at him, and he’s staring at your tits hungrily, as if he wants nothing more than to touch them. You almost tell him to, until you remember his quirk. Best not to risk it. But there is something else you can let him do. 

“Kiss me anywhere, if you want to,” you say. 

The reaction is instant. His lips close on one nipple, chapped lips scraping your sensitive flesh in such a pleasing way that one of your hands moves to his hair, gripping the soft tresses. 

You’re grinding on him, feeling him hit all the right spots inside you, the soft warm fabric of his shirt contrasting with your naked skin, his tongue gliding over your breasts and then back to your lips, his hands planted firmly at his sides by your command. 

And then you climax, wrapping your arms around him and moaning as you tremble through the orgasm. And in that moment of ecstasy, your concentration slips, and your quirk deactivates. 

You gasp and look Shigaraki in the eyes. He seems surprised as he lifts one of his hands and looks at it, as if checking to see if he was actually moving it. He’d probably been trying to move it the entire time, so he would know the exact moment he regained control. His eyes shift back to you. Thunder rumbles outside as rain batters the windows. And Shigaraki grins, his red eyes gleaming eerily in a flash of lightning. 

You’re frozen in fear, wondering if he’s going to decay you right then and there, while he’s still balls deep inside you. Or will he turn you over to the others to deal with?

To your surprise, he simply sits his hand back in the mattress beside him and says, “So, anymore orders?”

You gape at him. “What?”

He’s still grinning at you. “You can’t activate your quirk again right away, can you? If you could, you wouldn’t be so scared right now. So we might as well finish what we started.”

You regain your composure and give him a smile. “Okay, I command you to cum inside me.”

With that, you begin grinding on him again, barely noticing when one of his hands grips your ass, all but one finger digging into the soft skin. Little groans are escaping his parted lips, and he’s lifting his hips from the bed to thrust into you. Several minutes later, he hisses as his body goes tense, and you feel him shoot his seed inside you. 

Afterward, while you’re pulling your clothes back on and feeling a little awkward as he watches you, he says, “Come back anytime.”

You look at him incredulously. “Aren’t you afraid I’ll use my quirk on you again?”

He shrugs. “It wasn’t so bad. And I’ll tell the others to make sure I don’t leave the premises with you, so you’d never make it out of here with me.”

“You liked being controlled, didn’t you?” you ask, giving him a sly smile. 

“Maybe I did.”

“In that case, come kiss me again before I leave.”

He stands up and crosses the room to you, obeying your command even without your quirk. 

[nikikikiko]

hello it is 3 am today we talk about kid’s humanity and how it is vital to him being the way he is mainly by comparing him to the other two shinigami we see in the series. if u expect a coherent structure my excuse is that it IS in fact 3 am and i just woke up from my slumber

but Kid is a character who is mainly defined by three things:

1. He has a huge amount of skill and power alone

2. It is typically overshadowed by his need for perfection

3. He is human. He is also Lord Death’s son.

now, one of these holds seemingly conflicting traits: how can Kid be human if he’s Lord Death’s son? Well, he’s not. He says as much. He’s not human and he’s very easily able to identify this fact. So, how IS he human? How can something inhuman become human?

This , listeners in my walls, has an answer that can be considered very simple:

Lord Death INTENDED for Kid to be human. He intended for humanity to become an integral part of Kid.

At the time of Lord Death’s creation, we understand that inhumanity is needed to deal with immediate threats while humanity is still trying to thrive. This is showcased to us by how Lord Death creates Asura, deals with the Witches, and overall eliminates threats. He’s quick, decisive, and seemingly without any regret. Lord Death does what is best for humanity with a stern hand because that is his purpose initially: to be a present god for humanity, to light the way. Now a god is not, and never will be, human in the ways that they need to be. Especially in Soul Eater where almost all depiction of a god or god like character have them be inhuman in some shape or form. Eibon, Excalibur, the Great Old one of Power, and even Asura have appearances that can be considered monstrous: they are not human.

Speaking of Asura, I would like to call Asura a case of incomplete humanity in the wrong era. Asura is the embodiment of Lord Death’s fears culminated into a person, he did not grow up with a childhood, he simply just was. This, as everyone knows, has had a very negative effect on Asura and led to him becoming paranoid and yearning for power. He is an incomplete human who’s not quite god in the way Lord Death or Excalibur are, but not quite human either. But since he’s not quite human, Asura easily falls into morally wrong temptations to achieve power that would take some or most people at least a few more days of contemplation, and he does so without a drop of guilt or remorse. Can you imagine the absolute betrayal Vajra must have felt in their last moments? The horror and dread? The sadness that this is who Asura is? That it only gets Worse?

Now I mentioned Asura’s incomplete humanity but what exactly does that mean? In my opinion, Asura has some mechanics of a human— the shape to be exact and the general self preservation instincts of one. But where he fails at being human is how he operates. His own paranoia and fear drove him to madness yes but he acts in a way that feels logical to HIM. He does what feels best for himself in incomprehensible wonderland noise, the same way that Lord Death does what feels best for humanity. And because they are gods, they are correct at the time even if they are wrong eventually. Asura, despite having human-esque things about him, is no different than the other gods that walk among the soul eater world.

So how does this all tie back into Kid? Well, Kid is the reverse of Asura. Kid, rather than being an incomplete human, was made to be an incomplete GOD. Intentionally so, since it was the most logical thing to do to keep another Asura from happening. Lord Death created Kid to be an heir but he didn’t want Kid to become Asura 2.0 somehow, so he figured out that reversing the way Asura operated would do the trick. Instead of creating an incomplete human, he would make an incomplete god and that is the Kid we start out with in the manga.

This allows Kid to be human and a god at the same time, allowing him to learn humanity and understand it in ways Asura and Lord Death really just /can’t/. They CAN’T understand it, they simply just aren’t able to. Kid acts emotionally, he takes logical routes yes but he’s very emotional too. He can be impulsive, reckless, everything a human is expected to be. He has a drive to protect humans not because he simply should but because he has walked among them. Kid is friends with and cherishes so many humans, he finds the good in even criminals and that, in a new age where Humanity no longer needs immediate protection of it’s present god, is necessary now.

Kid can create peaceful solutions in place where Lord Death, who can only ever ensure the survival of humanity in a direct way, cannot. He can change and react and evolve in ways Asura cannot. He is human, and the two other shinigami are not. Not to mention, Kid is extremely indulgent in smaller human behaviors: we are shown time and time again that Kid has hobbies he has put time into like skateboarding and he will not hesitate to simply engage in his hobbies, but in comparison, we’re not really shown the hobbies of the other god characters. We don’t even know what Lord Death even does for fun, even though we know what Spirit does for fun.

But Kid’s also not human, and there’s no dissonance created either in this because he simply was made to be human. He knows he’s not human, he admits as much constantly, but he’s not broken up about it. He doesn’t feel disconnected from being a shinigami or from being human, he is both and he is what he is. He is what he was made to be, and his humanity is vital to make him who he is. Without that humanity, we’d most likely be left with something similar to what Kid became under the influence of the Madness of Power: a god determined to make the world into perfect nothingness.

But uh, this is all a 3am ramble ? so. take it with grains of salt LMAOO

[youboredright]

Fate Cannot Be Changed

What happens if the strongest mafia known to be the coldest man alive gets arranged married with a sweet hearted woman? Can the innocent Yn change Gojo Satoru, biggest mafia in Yakuta? Maybe or maybe not..-

Mafia Gojo Satoru X Yn

(Chapter 1)

Guns. Blood. Dead bodies. Begging. Crying. Asking for forgiveness.

Gojo Satoru has seen all of these before it's nothing new.

Love. Family. Home. Comforting. Affection. Peace. Resting.

These were never Gojo Satoru's way of living.

Right now it is midnight and he is seeing the same thing. Dead bodies..Gojo shots the last person ignoring his last begging to spare his life. "Please let me live I have a son." Bang. To a mafia, to Gojo it's nothing and specifically when he is angry. When Gojo Satoru is angry no one can stop him. People doubt if he has the emotion sympathy or not. Gojo Satoru is angry. "Satoru you have to calm down. You cannot just simply kill anyone in front of you just because you are angry." Geto tried to stop Gojo. Geto being Gojo only close friend there are moments when Gojo does listens to him. But right now.."Fuck off, Suguru do you know how it feels to be arranged married to someone. And then you get to know that you are getting married just the day before your own wedding. All this time my parents arranged me in this wedding that I didn't know. What else do I need? I am rich, strong, successful and I did everything my parents asked for. But no, now they had to marry me to this weakling that I don't even know. All women are the same." There was pure pain, angrier and traces of betrayal in Gojo's eyes. All Geto could do is sigh. "But please do calm down and take some rest". Gojo was angry because he was arranged married.

------------

Wedding Morning

Gojo didn't get a proper sleep that night. But looking at his soon-to-be wife, Yn, he saw, Yn was excited."Why are you happy? Do you even know me?" Gojo thought looking at Yn. Yn on the other side felt sharp stare towards her. Turning she saw Gojo is looking at her, lost in something. He looks confused..? Slowly Yn approached Gojo. "Um- hey you must be Gojo Satoru, right?" Yn tried to start a conversation. "Yeah. And you are..Yn?" Gojo was unexpectedly soft. But to Yn he was rough. "Yeah. It's nice to meet you" Yn smiles. "Whatever. Remember maybe we would be married but don't expect me to treat you like a princess. You do what I ask you to. If I ask you to kill people, you will kill people." Gojo completely changed, he was more cold. Yn flinched. "'Kill' and "dying"were strong words, why would Gojo use it like that. Well is that what I have to expect from my future husband just because he is a the strongest mafia" Yn thought. Yn just nodded and left Gojo alone.

After wedding, Yn's dad hugged her. "Dad are you happy after forcing me to marry a mafia, who likes to kill?" Yn voice cracked. "Oh shut it Yn. You are married already to Gojo. Oh you don't know how damn rich is he..." "Dad why do you only care about money?! Personality also matters. It's my wedding, you could have asked me before making a vital decision. And you made me marry a mafia, the strongest mafia. Who is always dealing with blood hurting others and worst killing people." Yn slightly raises her voice. "Sorry to interrupt, but Yn we have to go because I have business to deal with. So rather than wasting my time, stop being childish." Gojo interrupts without any emotion in his voice. Yn gets hurt 'childish, huh?'. Yn didn't even want to bid the last goodbye to her dad. So she just simply left with Gojo without sparing her dad, one last look.

The drive to Gojo's mansion was quite. "Gojo is it very normal for you to use the word 'kill'..?" "It is easier to kill than to say." Gojo said emotionlessly. Gojo's mansion is hug like literally huge.. "You- do you live here alone..?" Yn asked, as it was hard to believe he own the place all by himself. "Yeah. You coming or do you want to be outside tonight." Gojo said walking past Yn.

"Your room is that one in the left. Don't make noise because I am a sensitive sleeper." Gojo says and leaves Yn in middle of the hallway.

Next morning (Yn's POV)

I don't know how I will live with..gojo. We have nothing in common. Well he likes no, love killing. But I hate when someone is hurted. Why is he being to cold. Cannot he just be a little bit more softer?-. But anyway waking up, first thing I need is a morning coffee. And mom said I gotta be the best wife to be accepted by Gojo. So everyday at 7 I have to wake up make breakfast. That's a hassle. But if it makes relationship between us better I do rather do that. I almost got lost searching for the kitchen. Like how can a person not get lost. After making a coffee I went to the back yard. It's so pretty, the way the grass were cutten . The pool was quite big too. Did Gojo even get time to swim or relax? It felt nice the morning breeze was a bit cold but felt soothing. Going out, the cold breeze pass through me. As I took my second gulp, there was a loud siren sound. And soon three men with guns in their hands came up to me. "Who are you. Hands in air, right now." One of them shouted. I hate loud sound, so as fast I heard them shout I was too scared and I dropped my glass. Raised my hands I was shaking in fear. One of the broken glass piece made a scratch on my leg but I could not care less. If the situation continued just a few seconds more I would start tearing up. Just in time Gojo came and shouted "what is going on here? She is my wife, why are you all pointing gun at her?" Hearing that they putted their gun down quickly. They became quite, maybe embarrassed? I dropped my arms and saw three of them.. Well looking at my nipples that got erected because of the cold wind. Thanks to me for not wearing a bra today. As a covered my chest Gojo seemed to notice it, "All of you go. NOW! And I don't want this kind of accidents ever again." Gojo said. Did he mean the gun accident or them looking at my nipples? But the fact is, did Gojo Satoru, the mafia leader of Yakuta just stand up for me?

As I was cleaning my wound, Gojo came up to me and said "Yn I forgot to mention yesterday. We are the happy loving couple outside but inside we are strangers. Do you understand? And I don't want to hear my wife suddenly got pregnant with another man." That's the second time Gojo said something like this to me. So this is my life from now onwards... I just nodded and hardly whispered a 'yes'. Did he not see the blood coming from my wound. Maybe he is just used to seeing blood. Why did I even expect him to comfort me. What did I expect, The Gojo Satoru might be a kind person deep inside? I am proved wrong for the second time. So this is how .y is going to be, huh?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

To be continued...

[onehopefuldreamer]

Why I can't help but always romance Persephone in Stray Gods

1 - Prickly on the outside, soft on the inside personality trope

This is probably the biggest reason because it's also probably my most favourite personality type of all when it comes to fictional characters. I am so very weak for ladies who kick ass and look scary but are secretly huge sweethearts. And Persephone is this trope to a T. Sure, she's big and scary, no one can deny that. But she can also be so sweet. She helped Calliope when she left Olympus, she saved Chastity from her abusive husband, she takes to mentoring/helping Grace so quickly, she is happy to help Medusa if Grace offers her help and even goes as far as admitting that this help was long overdue (something Apollo never does by the way). These are just some instances we become privy to during the game.

I'm absolutely sure there are more times when she was secretly kind, especially to people who needed help but had no one in their corner. Because while her personal philosophy is that no one else can help you keep your head afloat (born out of her own experiences no doubt) she's shown to actively be giving advice to and helping Grace as well as genuinely worrying about her safety and doing what she can to keep her safe. She's also obviously remorseful for not having been able to exact the change Calliope wanted so badly after becoming part of the Chorus and sympathetic about Freddie's fate. She cares and she cares deeply. She simply does her best not to show it because experience has taught her that others don't tolerate her being weak or deign to offer her sympathy no matter how dire the situation she is in. This naturally leads to:

2 - A character who is all alone and without a supportive system but refuses to give up

This is sort of a subsection of the prickly on the outside, soft on the inside trope, I know, but I cannot help but love characters who have had a traumatizing past and been forced to deal with it on their own. I always, ALWAYS want to be in their corner and if they happen to be ladies I never fail to fall in love with them. I find it absolutely amazing that anyone can preserve their integrity and remain kind after being hurt so badly both in fiction and in real life if I'm honest. To me these are the real heroes - people who have been hurt but refuse to let that hurt turn them into monsters. If there is a character like that in any media I partake in, no other characters stand a chance. Not really.

3 - Mary Elizabeth McGlynn's voice

In reality this is actually pretty much tied with numbers 1 and 2 but I had to keep some semblance of order so here we go.

I am very much someone who has always and forever been weak for beautiful voices. And out of the whole VA cast giving life to the LIs it's Mary Elizabeth McGlynn's voice that never fails to make me swoon or give me chills. She's so very good at what she does this woman. Her delivery is flawless both when it comes to her spoken and sung lines. I can physically feel Persephone's pain when she asks Grace "Please, don't do this." as well as her anger and bitterness when she sings "I gutted a god." or says "The only god I killed deserved it." for example. This adds so much to the character for me, you have no idea. I cannot honestly say if I'd have loved Persephone so much if she had been voiced by a different actress. But the combination between tropes I love and her sublime voice created a perfect storm so now no one can even compete with Persephone. Not even Freddie. And I love Freddie. She's just not Persephone. I'm sorry.

4 - Persephone's design

I love Persephone's design so damn much! I can't decide what I love most - her badass haircut, her cool tattoos, her slightly weird but somehow totally working for her outfit, her make-up that suits her perfectly, the colour of her hair and eyes or her androgynous look. Everything comes together flawlessly and creates one total and extremely gorgeous package. I don't know who worked on her design, but bless them, they really knew what they were doing.

The amount of screenshots of Persephone I have is obscene and I keep taking more because I simply cannot get enough of how stunning she is. Even when I was replaying to romance Freddie, Apollo and Pan I still kept taking screenshots of Persephone and being distracted whenever she was in the frame because her look is just so... I am running out of adjectives meaning "beautiful" here... Let's go with alluring.

The way she looks just does things to me I can't even begin to describe. I might be ace but even I can tell when someone is objectively hot and Persephone is scorching. Aesthetic attraction is huge for me and I guess her looks hit all the right buttons because I can't help staring at her and going "Wow!" pretty much all the time. Basically this screenshot of Grace is me every time I look at Persephone:

And speaking of that, one thing I have found I am particularly weak for when it comes to her design is the way she looks when she's drawn in profile. I don't know what exactly it is about her profile but I just melt every time I see it. It really did not help that this was part of her introduction to us in game:

How was I expected to pay attention to anyone else after that?!

I have a whole collection of screenshots of Persephone in profile that I should post alongside this to reinforce my point but again - the way she looks does something to me and I apologize to everyone else but I cannot possibly pay any attention to them when I have this in front of me. I'm only human...

[thelunarfairy]

Hey I LOVE your Yugi twins analysis post!! ( not because I like the toxicity/ incest I just think it’s a great analysis of tbhk) and I wanted to ask your opinion on a thing

Toilet Bound Hanako Kun as a series is a Gothic Romance

I’ve been going insane about because I’m a huge fan of the genre

( some examples: Crimson Peak ( movie), Jane Eyre, Dracula, Rebecca ( novel and movie), The Fall of The House of Usher, etc)

and I’m 100% convinced by now but I need validation

agree or disagree?

Oh! Thank you!! I'm happy to know you liked it :3

Yeah, I don't like incestuous relationships either, but if it's in the story we have to analyze it.

I don't know if this helps you, but here in my country, this anime is within this genre. Even if elsewhere it does not have this classification, the story itself leads to this path.

"How is the Gothic novel characterized? The Gothic novel is an essentially hybrid manifestation, a link between the novelistic and the novel in which an atmosphere of mystery, affliction and terror prevails."

There's a strange duality to the relationships in this series. If I were to ask you if you could name me any JSHK romantic relationships that are TOTALLY HEALTHY, could you name them for me?

Mitsuba x Kou It's not canonically romantic yet, but even before it is, Kou is aggressive and demanding of Mitsuba, not to mention that he puts Mitsuba's wants above his own. Mitsuba, on the other hand, demonstrated a desire for "death together", which Kou tried to do without hesitation. A guy tried to take his own life for someone else, and Mitsuba wanted to trap him in the PP arch along with him.

Aoi x Aoi Akane is extremely possessive, aggressive, jealous and intolerant. When I say intolerant I am referring to anyone who has a romantic interest in Aoi. He doesn't give her the power of choice, he simply decided that she is his. Traces of an EXTREMELY abusive and DANGEROUS relationship, yes, imminent risk of death. Many REAL LIFE cases start like this. Aoi is jealous of Akane's popularity (in terms of friendships), and doesn't think twice before impaling him.

Hanako x Nene It follows a fine line between Aoi x Aoi, the difference is that Hanako is not aggressive, BUT, he is vengeful. We constantly see him punishing Nene when she shows interest in other guys. He makes decisions about her life alone without consulting her and without allowing her to choose what is best for her or not. He is jealous, possessive, insecure and needy. Hanako would be able to kill Nene if he believed it was the best option for her. I don't need to mention the PP arc or the number six arc. Nene is a girl who tends towards disrespect, she flirts with other guys in front of Hanako, even though she is about to enter into a relationship with him.

This is just a SUPERFICIAL summary of the three main ships in the series. They all seem to want to culminate in tragedy, something that fits into the gothic genre.

Besides of course, the relationship between the twins, a mysterious and dark relationship, you can't follow this relationship without thinking that there is "something strange"

If we compare, for example, the relationship between Edward Elric and Alphonse, we see here a healthy and common relationship between brothers, with its ups and downs and with great brotherly love between them. Remembering that Edward's entire journey is dedicated to his younger brother. Ed made a mistake in the past and his younger brother suffered a serious consequence, Ed took responsibility and promised to solve the problem. They are together almost all the time and yet you clearly see that it is a healthy relationship.

Not in the case of twins. There's a strange ambiguity in what they consider "love", it doesn't feel like sibling love, and it's not ordinary love, it's something more obsessive, more… how can I say… suffocating? There's something I still can't see. It's not just "maybe it's incest" it's something more than that. Maybe one day I will be able to organize my ideas and think more clearly.

So yes, JSHK fits into this genre, it fits into many other things in this genre too, I only focused on relationships because you talked about the twins' relationship.

[babblingeccentric]

Marco NSFW ABC headcanons

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He's attentive and sweet about cleaning you up but he really isn't a fan of pillow talk. He wants to sit quietly in the peace of post orgasm and stare out the window maybe have a rare smoke. He'll cuddle you if you ask and are quiet about it.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his legs. And his chest. And his wings.

He'll lie and say he's a tits man but what he really likes is his partner's face.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

It's vaguely sweet since he eats a lot of fruit and he likes coming on your thighs and stomach

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Doesn't really have any. He's private about his sex life compared to a lot of other guys because he doesn't brag but he doesn't really feel shame about his sexual desires. I do think he'd be a little ashamed of having a partner much younger than him in a relationship. He doesn't want people to think he's taking advantage of you, even if he does find your ingenue vibe very attractive

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Very experienced but you don't know it until you get him into bed. He doesn't like to brag. His previous conquests will do that for him

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He likes it when you're on your back on the bed or the desk or the counter and hes standing up

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Slightly more to the goofy side, simply as a way to defuse the tension. He likes to make his partner feel comfortable. He also just doesn't take stuff too seriously.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He doesn't have a lot of body hair and his bush kinda matches his head hair and looks like an upside down palm tree. Don't laugh at it he'll get cranky

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He tends to have more casual sex than actual relationships, and he's not really a super romantic guy either. I think his love language is quality time. Anyway I think he's a good lover he's just not very intimate or romantic about it usually. I think the intimacy is more something that evolves naturally from when he keeps coming back if I'm making sense

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Usually does it in the shower because it's the most reliable time and place that he gets left alone. Somebody's always asking him to reattach their pinky or look at their weird rash on this ship

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Brat tamer. He likes a little challenge to his authority. And an excuse to punish.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

The bedroom is a classic but due to aforementioned vying for his time anywhere with a lock on the door is his preference. Some people on this ship don't know how to knock.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He really likes it when you get dressed up all nice for him. He likes a little insubordination too.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He's not into any serious edgeplay where he has to be super careful about managing your safety- breathplay, suspension, knife or gunplay, cutting or whipping, stuff like that. He also hates if you do something just cause it gets him off. It's important to him that you're just as into it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Eats pussy absolutely spectacularly and enjoys it, it's an open secret among the nurses who absolutely take advantage. Can appreciate a good blowjob as a quick and easy way to get off but he doesn't like to suck dick very much himself.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.

Tends toward hard and steady but a little on the slow side. He likes to take his time with good things in life.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Like I said he likes to take his time, so he's not huge into quickies. But if a partner initiates one he's not going to say no.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He doesn't like super risky kink where he genuinely has to worry about harming you. However he does like making you struggle to be quiet so you don't get caught. He's pretty game to experiment otherwise though.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Can last a good while but he's too old cum more than once an hour these days.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He's got one or two, a Fleshlight and maybe a vibrator or dildo. He usually uses them on himself but if a partner shows interest he'll use them on you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Definitely a bit of a tease. He likes taking his time and making a partner beg for it before finally giving it to them. But he can also be pretty giving and indulgent it honestly depends on his mood.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's a pretty quiet guy naturally. He'll grunt and moan softly and swear a little. But he's not usually very loud or talkative.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Generally a top, and was pretty strict about it when he was younger but he loosened up a bit as he got older. Now he'll bottom very occasionally if he's in the mood for it and it's pretty spectacular.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He's got chicken legs despite them being his strongest body part. He shaves his chest hair so his tattoo is visible. Respectably average dick. Uncircumcised. Used to have a tan line from his stupid anklet. Still has a sandals tan.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pretty average. It's not high but it'll keep you satisfied.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

One of those weird guys who doesn't get sleepy after sex. He likes to just sit quietly and stare out the window. He prefers a partner that falls asleep immediately because then he gets his peace and quiet. And he likes to watch his partner sleep because he thinks it's cute.

[sturniolopanini]

Skinny Dipping - Matthew Sturniolo

P4 (FINALE) (P3, P2, P1)

Warnings: swearing again hehe, crying, rain 🌧️, miscommunication 😬🤨👀, toxic masculinity ✊😔, 

CHARACTERS - 6260

WORDS - 1205 

A/N: you never saw this coming did ya?

| if we could take it all off and just exist

y/n - pink

Matt - blue

  Summary/context idk:After Matt and y/n embark on so many adventures, escaping from the reality of the world together feeling completely in love. Y/n starts to feel disconnected even more when Matt suddenly stops replying to her messages. In other words, ghosting her. And she’s curious as to why but she won’t like the answer…

I almost swear it’s like I was falling into a high school love with Matt again. As we talked and talked and hung out even more, we’d look back on our past and realize it was never made out to what it seemed to be. I might’ve said this a million times but we’ve come to agreement that really, our fights were never huge. And it gets a little hard to explain after a while but they were never a big deal know that I look back on it..

     Matt and I earlier this week had gone to multiple places, he showed me around LA more and introduced me to some people. I felt so comfortable with him that I didn’t care who he introduced me too, I’d simply play along and befriend them. 

     With Matt, I was pretty much never alone in my city. if I were to go on a quick coffee run, Matt would be with me. If I just wanted to go on a little stroll for fresh air, Matt would offer to join. It’s not like we’re exactly attached at the hip and I’m sure it might not seem like a lot to him cause he obviously has tons of friends- but with him being my only true one so far, I was down bad.

     Yet, I’d gotten this sort of feeling that he was too? like he wasn’t totally enveloped in this little relationship but ever since we went skinny dipping and to our nostalgic restaurant and plenty of walks, he had to at least have some mutual liking for me….right? So why wasn’t he responding to my texts…at all… maybe he’s busy? He’s probably dealing with a lot of work- or something..

     I’d send a simple ‘hey’ or ‘wanna meet up at etc’, but he either leaves me on delivered or read…why? An anxiety filled part of me wonders if he just completely dropped me….did I say something wrong? Did I mess it up, was it me? He seemed so happy every time we hung out so…why…?

     All it took was a ‘leave me alone, we aren’t even dating so stop acting like it and you were just a friend that I don’t want anymore’ to give me a panic attack. Id only sent him a couple messages and even some after that asking why he was ignoring me…and he says that. It shatters my heart in two when he says I was just a friend he doesn’t want anymore. Were we friends when we made out naked in public? Which sounds pretty fucking vulgar but it’s the truth and why is he hiding from it

     He has to know how much it’s hurting me right now, for him to say he never thought of me romantically and that it was pretty much all just casual-hurts like a bitch. I feel like I’m hyperventilating and sobbing in my bed, feeling like I pretty much lost my only true friend here in LA- terrified to have to go back to the life before I met him again…

     Not to mention I was falling in deep shit again with him, I could barely go to sleep without wondering what he smells like when he wakes up..what his morning voice sounds like. Does he have messy hair when he wakes up? I wanted to get used to him in my life and I lost it again before I could even touch it with the tip of my finger.     

     Sure I was overreacting cause it’s barely been a month but when I fall in love I fall deep and fast. And already knowing Matt and having a past was just a set for failure with me. I wasn’t gonna give up on him now…I can’t.

     I don’t even care that it’s midnight or that it’s pouring rain outside, I just grab my jacket and my keys. Jetting our the door and driving to his house. My hair scrambled and my eyes puffy and slightly red from crying earlier. How could he just call everything we had done pretty much pointless? 

     As soon as I arrive at his apartment I pound on his front door endlessly, eager and desperate for him to answer. I need to tell him how I feel, I need to try and convince him at least that this is worth it. We’re worth it?

     “Y/n….what the hell are you doing here- it’s pouring and it’s fucking midnight!?”

     He opens the door with a groggy voice that makes my stomach churn, his hair slightly messy, I clench my jacket and gulp quickly. My heart pounding.

     “You couldn’t have just expected me to give up so easily? Matt I- I can’t believe you could just ignore everything!”

     “Look- I didn’t text you that to be disciplined on how to live my life! I- it was a mistake…okay?”

     A mistake…. It’s like he just slapped my heart silly and watched it crumble. And worse is, I can’t stop loving him. Even with how sad I am, partially mad, he makes me so happy and flustered. He starts talking but tears sting my eyes, till I don’t realize I’m crying. Tears are streaming down my cheeks, almost more than the rain already pouring

     “God- don’t cry! It’s just so complicated y/n and I…..I don’t want any of that- I just thought if I dropped you sharply then I wouldn’t have to deal with the pain as…as much as you..”

     He mumbles sort of embarrassingly…and as much as I love how he admitted he had feelings for me it sucks he has to say it in this state. And how fucking selfish! He wanted to hurt me more than he’d get hurt so he wouldn’t be embarrassed about hurting so much? My heart aches and I feel absolutely wrecked for this not even breakup. I wipe my tears with my sleeve.

     “Well I hope that works out great for you, Matt”

     I sniffle and turn around before I start sobbing again. I can’t just completely break in front of him, then it would give him the royalty of exactly what he wanted. I can’t just give myself to him completely when he obviously wants nothing to do with me so suddenly…why can’t he just commit…god- I turn around right before leaving his apartment as I point at him bitterly. 

     “Fuck you….okay? You suck”

     I say through choked sobs, shaking him off and wiping my eyes quickly as I rush down the steps back to my car. My whole body trembling as I cry, soaking wet in my car. Alone in LA- all besides the dumb friends he introduced me to. I never wanted it to end this way but I can’t believe it at all….

     When I finally reach my house I just break down in my bed, tearing my jacket off and face planting In bed… safe to say I will never ever rekindle with any of my exes. No matter how charming or perfect they may seem, I can’t go through this again. The second chance I thought we had, it was bullshit. All of it was bullshit. He was bullshit, I was bullshit, the true love was bullshit! Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit….

     A/N I lowkey feel like I didn’t build up their relationship enough to make it seem this bad or advanced or whatever u get the just of it (I had this drafted Aug 2nd 😭)also I went a little askew from the song hehe call me a rebel))

@camzeecorner @dominicfikeenthusiast @sturn-saturn @arixsturns @ineedchriscock

[schnoobums]

Could you please go into details as to how touch is Jonathan's love language? 👀💙

+ Same anon - I didn't want to imply anything lewd, physical touch as a love language firs him very well (that and snark as his other love language) and I'd love to see you elaborate on it!

Hehe of course I can. Thanks for asking!

We’ve got some great examples of Jonathan using physical touch as either an expression of admiration, companionship, or affection.

Take the first time we see Jonathan and Evy interact in The Mummy (1999) - when she’s feeling down, the first thing he does is console her and he does this through physical touch (also words of affirmation, which I believe is his second love language, though you’re spot-on with snarkiness.)

Wow, who made these gifs? They’re so good. [x]

He even holds onto Evy’s arm when they visit the prison where Rick is being held. Yes, it can be that he’s afraid of being there (especially since he stole from Rick) but it’s also a way for him to protect his sister; being able to tug her away if there’s any danger and also in case she feels afraid as well.

Then, when he first interacts with Rick outside the prison, he gives him a warm handshake and pats him on the chest as if they’re already good friends. They hardly know anything about each other at this point, but Jonathan makes the effort to be as friendly as possible (that’s also probably due to his British charm but I digress.) This interaction also acts as “I apologize about before but I promise I’m pretty decent once you get to know me” without saying the words directly.

Now, what about in a romantic sense? Take the first time we see him in The Mummy Returns (2001) - he’s walking with Sheila down the hallway, an arm wrapped around her side and holding her close to him. Yeah, he’s feeling great right now but the option to simply walk beside her is right there and he opts for sticking as close to her as possible instead.

I’m going to take this brief moment to say that he’s a huge gentleman since this is most likely after ~things have gone down~ and he’s walking her out, either to her car or to drive her back to her place (as discreetly as possible.) I just think that’s neat. He keeps up a conversation with her and keeps up the physical touch as well.

Of course, we have all the sweet moments with him and Alex; a hand on the shoulder, wrapped up in a hug, leading the other by the arm, hand holding, etc. Their relationship is so adorable. [x]

Also, he grabs a hold of people in an effort to protect them. Even if he can’t do it very well, he certainly tries (I’d screencap those moments but it’s always mid-sprint so the picture comes out super blurry.)

He also gains comfort through physical touch. Since he’s been through a lot of high stakes, a friendly pat on the back or arm, or even getting pulled away from danger (Rick yeets him so much, it’s so funny) gives him the assurance that 1. he’s not alone & 2. there’s someone there to help him.

I think Jonathan is one of those people who think that when words fail, actions speak louder. So, he shows his love for people (whether platonic or romantic) through physical touch; something that says that he cares without uttering the words himself.

That’s just my opinion, though!

[isthatafuckinggayangel]

Soap's Birthday

Angst. Just so much angst. Tw for brief references to child abuse, alcoholism, and neglect (a couple short sentences in a couple different spots for all of those). No comfort cause I feel like being mean. Might write another part, might not. We'll see.

Read under the cut.

- - -

The entire team struggled with birthdays for various reasons. Most of it was rooted in how their parents treated them, but the treatment behind the struggle was vastly different.

Price’s father was a rampant drunk who would ignore any holiday that didn’t warrant more drinking. Gaz’ siblings all took precedence over him to his parents. Any time Ghost’s mother would try to celebrate his birthday with him, his father would ruin it, always inflicting some form of violence on him, his brother, or his mother.

Soap, on the other hand, was born on a day that was difficult for him.

A day that’s always so overshadowed by a major tragedy that he hadn’t known peace on his birthday since primary school. He never asked for parties, never requested a trip, gifts, or even a small cake. He refused to ask for anything, feeling like it was wrong to ask for something when so many people had suffered on the same day.

He watched others have birthday parties with envy and guilt in his heart. Watched people open presents with even worse guilt because he wished so much to have something nice.

His parents had never been well-off, poverty making any form of celebration, let alone gift-giving, a struggle. They outwardly acted like they wanted to give him something, but always made it feel like more of a burden than something they’d truly wanted to do. Like an obligation they wished they could be freed of.

So he stopped asking for a celebration of any kind.

Stopped asking for anything, regardless of the time of year or how necessary it truly was. Even if he was starving in his own home because there wasn't anything he could cook and he couldn't get groceries himself, he would never ask. He claimed it was him wanting to be independent, that he could make do just fine, that he didn’t actually want anything in the first place. He managed the act well, almost convinced himself of the lie a few times, even. Decades of practice lying about the same thing over and over again does that to you.

Any time someone asked what he wanted to do or receive for his birthday, he would feel his heart drop. He denied any answer, simply saying he didn’t want anything or just wanted to stay home and relax.

He both yearned for a proper celebration and felt guilty for that yearning. The constant thought of ‘how dare you even consider asking for anything’ circled his head, even long into his adulthood.

Joining the 141 and not having birthdays be a big deal for anyone was both a relief and a disappointment.

The hope that he might be able to celebrate amongst people who might understand was quickly squandered when year after year, each birthday passed without even a small “happy birthday” spoken. Each birthday made him endlessly more upset, which only made him feel more guilt.

That’s all his birthday was now. An infinite sea of guilt. Guilt for wanting a celebration. Guilt for wanting presents. Guilt for wanting to be happy, even on a day that’s supposed to be just for him.

It was never his day, and he knew never would be.

It would always belong to tragedy.

Always belong to guilt and yearning.

He simply was meant to be tortured by that event’s passing.

Even still, he always put effort into other people's birthdays. Always getting or making a small gift. He would buy a cupcake from a local bakery and put a small candle in it for people who didn't have a gathering for their birthday. He would always say 'happy birthday' to anyone who was having one. Even recruits he didn't know would get a small 'happy birthday', and those he knew more than just in passing would get a small card. You could lie to him about your birthday being that day and he would always give a huge smile, say 'happy birthday', and offer a hug if you so desired.

The team didn't reciprocate this effort, simply thanking him with a bowed head and moving on with their day when their birthdays came about and not doing anything for his own. He couldn't fault them. He maintained that he didn't want to do or receive anything the few times it had come up in conversation. He claimed he much preferred giving gifts.

On one hand, it was true. He did prefer giving. But it wasn't because that was his natural disposition, rather that receiving anything made him feel like he needed to pay them back. Made him feel guilty for making anyone feel like they had to get him anything.

He purposely never told recruits his birthday, so they couldn't celebrate it even if they wanted to. Hell, the team only knew it because they'd all read his file. At least, the parts that weren't heavily redacted. He kept it on a need-to-know basis, and as far as he was concerned, no one needed to know.

No one needed to know. He would take the day and the sea of guilt that came with it to his grave, regardless of when death came for him.

[dianapana]

SH Day 1 – Waiting for you – Right person wrong time

Hellos, I am once again back from the dead. I wrote this day a bit in advance, but for the rest of them I may be a bit slow. I'll still try my best! Have a wonderful SH month Everyone!

~Love Dia.

TW: Unfulfiled love

~

“Was it a bad day?”

Hinata’s hand extended to tuck some of his bangs behind his ear. His face is red and sweaty, hair sticking to it. He’s beyond drunk. The owner of the bar contacted her asking for someone to come retrieve the buzzed gentleman.

But Sasuke does not wish to leave yet.

So here she is, an unsuspected Wednesday night having a drink with him too.

“You could say so”

Muttering, his head barely held up by his hand on his cheek. Eyes closed.

“Work related?”

Sasuke is a private detective. So even when he does have bad workdays, he can never truly vent to her. He has way too many signed NDAs for that. A simple nod from the man tells her that there will be no further questions from her.

Moving her stool a bit closer to his. Caressing his back softly, guiding his head onto her shoulder. She can’t give him more comfort that this. Letting him know she’s there. That’s who they are, who they’ve always been since university when they met through some common friends.

Friends, best friends, the closest of friends.

“Come. Let’s go. I’ll take you to my place.”

Probably he does not want to be alone for today.

Sasuke stumbling to sit up. “Won’t that be an issue?”

A genuine and reasonable question. Her boyfriend has made a few comments about her friendship with Sasuke, shown jealousy. Tiny frown on her lips.

“It’s alright. He won’t” shaking her head vehemently. She’s unsure but won’t think about it now.

It hurts that now there are such questions that need to be asked when they used to simply show up at each other’s place without a second guess. She could take him to his place, knows his pin code, has a key to it. But…

*

Hinata is preparing breakfast for both of them, Sasuke probably still asleep in the bed, or if he is awake he’s dealing with a huge hangover. She did leave some ibuprofen and water on the nightstand for him.

As she pours the egg mixture in the pan to make some scrambled eggs, she can hear the shower running. So, he’s awake.

“How are you feeling? You were quite drunk yesterday.”

He’s putting a white t-shirt on, already has on sweatpants. Yes, he has multiple clothing items at her place.

“I feel oddly fine.” His head is killing him, Hinata looks at him with a knowing gaze. She remembers how badly he reacts to alcohol the next day, have seen it all in university. He too knows how she acts when drunk.

They’ve both seen each other at their highest, were there holding the other’s hand when they got their dream job, got the scholarship money they needed and so on. But they were there just the same when they were at their low, failed grades, evictions from dorm rooms due to some fights with roommates.

But most importantly, they were there at each other’s lowest. When Neji was killed in an accident by a drunk driver, when Sasuke’s father almost lost his life on duty as a police officer.

No matter how many partners either of them went through, Hinata is still his emergency contact, she’s the one his phone calls automatically when pressing the unlock button three times.

“Here; have some food. It may help”

*

Hinata is a high school English and art teacher, thankfully her university roommate Sakura also works at the school as the nurse so they always eat lunch together.

Today Sakura seems to be flinching and acting odd, she opens up her mouth multiple times but does not say anything. Hinata observes and lets it go for a while, but even her patience does not last forever.

“What’s wrong?”

Green uncertain eyes looking at her.

“I’m not supposed to tell you this.”

???? “Umm…ok?” confused, but if Sakura can’t tell her, who is she to insist.

“But I feel like I should!” Frustrated hand through pink hair.

“I’ll tell you. But you can’t blame me for ruining the surprise, ok? I just…I just feel like you should know…”

“Umm…ok” Same answer as before. Hinata’s anxiety raising too. What could Sakura know that is tormenting her so?

“Ok.” Multiple nods. “Here it goes.

…

Kiba is going to ask you to marry him.” Whisper-scream from the woman and then she covers her mouth, as if she cannot believe herself the words she just let out, somewhat regretting having told Hinata.

Her own heart beating at a rate that is truly scary. She’s happy, of course she is. She loves him, why else would she be dating him? But…but there’s still a tiny part of her that feels…sad.

“That’s amazing” Finally answering the secret. Putting her sadness away. She’ll deal with it at another time.

Hand over her heart. “That’s amazing”

Sakura’s shoulders relax. “It is! I just- I know that…”

But she doesn’t say anything after. There’s no need for her to. Hinata knows what she means. They talk about it more. Hinata asks her how she knew, Sakura tells her how Kiba ask her to take Hinata to get her nails done by the end of the month, and that she knows what that means. That she told him congratulation and he blushed shyly but proudly.

*

Home at the end of her day, eyes closed as she lays in bed. The room still smells of booze a bit, but mostly it smells of Sasuke.

She can’t help but think of their university days. Their last year, when she finally became aware of her feelings for him. When she’d look at him for seconds too long, think of him even when he was not there.

How one time when it was just them, when her head was resting on his shoulder she almost reached over to hold his hand. But fear is a much stronger feeling for her than love ever was. She feared rejection, feared ruining their 4 year long friendship.

They’ve also each dated multiple people throughout their friendship, how there was almost never a time period in which both of them were single. That each time she almost got the courage to do something she’d cower in fear. So, she just waited. Waiting for him to give her a signal, waiting for him to make a move. And it just never happened.

She was still waiting until 2 years ago when she met Kiba, when she started dating him casually, but now…now he’s the one she calls first after a hard day. He’s the one she thinks about the most.

Hands covering her face. Fading unfulfilled love is not what she thought her and Sasuke would turn into.

*

Hinata is melancholic and thinks about all of their interactions for the following few days. So when Sasuke calls her, asking her to come over she still has all those thoughts into her mind.

Arms around him the moment the door opens. Sasuke taken aback, chuckling. Asking ‘Did you miss me that much’ jokingly. But when she doesn’t reply his heart rate spikes up, pushing her slightly to look at her face, a few unshed tears into her eyes.

“Hinata? What’s wrong?” Cubbing her cheek, wiping her tear away with his thumb.

Her eyes closed, heart heavy and confused. Fear makes her fingertips numb, but she cannot back down now, she needs to know, it’s important. She cannot answer Kiba’s question with a truthful and enthusiastic ‘yes’ unless they talk about this, unless they move on.

“I loved you” Her words echoing into the hallway. A moment of silence that urges her to open her eyes and look up at him, he has a sad smile on his lips.

“I know. I loved you too”

Her whole body is tingling, shocked. “What?”

Sasuke caresses her hair and pulls her into a hug.

“I didn’t know all along. I suspected at times, but then you’d turn around and do things that made me believe I was a narcissist for thinking you might feel the same. I was waiting for you to say or do something, tell me I wasn’t wrong.

But time went on and…well…”

Her mouth wide open, fist clenched, and she hit his shoulder. “I was waiting for YOU!”

More frustrated with both of them than anything else.

“By the time I realized that perhaps my feelings were indeed reciprocated, so many things happened, so much time passed and it felt like a shame…to change”

Looking at him somewhat in disbelief.

“Kiba asked me to marry him” He didn’t yet but that’s just details. “I said yes” she didn’t yet but she will.

Sasuke’s smile dims a bit, but he hugs and congratulates her nevertheless.

They remain in a hug for a long time before she breaks the silence.

“We both said loved. In the past”

“I still love you, but it is different now…”

Small nod. She agrees. She feels the same. The feelings faded in time, no longer having a romantic aspect to them.

They both waited for each other, but the wait was just too long

~

@sasuhinamonth

[tenebriism]

Ghirahim/Fi for the ship meme thing? ( if you don't ship them, no pressure )

Send Me a Ship and I'll Tell You . . . [ ACCEPTING ] ;;

GHIRAHIM X FI :

Who is more likely to hurt the other?

Ghirahim would 100%, without a doubt, hurt Fi before Fi would hurt him, whether accidental or intentional.

Who is emotionally stronger?

Fi. Ghirahim suffers from one tiny little inconvenience and he has a meltdown.

Who is physically stronger?

I'd have to say Fi? Simply because light trumps darkness, and as the spirit of the Master Sword, Fi has a huge advantage over Ghirahim.

Who is more likely to break a bone? 

Neither. They're sword spirits, so they're extremely resilient.

Who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

Ghirahim. He's a spiteful, rude man and won't hesitate to resort to tactics that give him the upper hand, even towards someone he's, supposedly, supposed to care about. This gets better as time passes and he learns how to treat other people, but it's definitely a rocky start.

Who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

Fi. Ghirahim would sooner perish than ever admit he was wrong.

Who treats who’s wounds more often? 

Surprisingly, I could see them both being extremely over-protective and attentive? Just in their own unique ways.

Who is in constant need of comfort? 

Ghirahim, although he won't want it and he won't admit it. Post Skyward Sword, he has a lot of self doubts and self worth issues... a lot to work on, and work through, basically.

Who gets more jealous? 

Ghirahim, Ghirahim, Ghirahim. He's territorial, his emotions are a ticking time bomb on a good day, and if something or someone is imposing upon something that is HIS, he definitely gets pissy about it.

Who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

Ghirahim would walk out on Fi. In fact, he probably does it several times amidst their relationship, and then comes crawling back like a fool. It's not necessarily to hurt Fi, but his ability to cling onto something good, and believe he DESERVES this aforementioned good, is non-existent.

Who will propose? 

I could see Ghirahim proposing to Fi. When Ghirahim loves, he loves INTENSELY, and if he has decided that he wants to be with someone for the rest of his life, he's not going to hesitate to seal the deal. It would take QUITE some time to get there, though.

Who has the most difficult parents?

Ghirahim. The way Demise treated him as nothing more than a tool to be used? Hardly acknowledged his existence or individuality, and Ghirahim definitely has some trauma from that... meanwhile, Link would probably give the Master Sword bubble baths and wrap it in a blanket if he could.

Who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

Surprisingly, Ghirahim, but very, very tentatively.

Who hogs the blankets? 

Definitely Ghirahim, lmfao. It gets better with time, but he's, uh... not the most GENEROUS of beings to start.

Who gets more sad? 

Ghirahim. Fi is still learning human emotions, so I don't think she'd cry much, if at all, and if she does, it would be rare and purely unintentional. Ghirahim, on the other hand, feels... and he feels a LOT. It's a lot easier to get him worked up than it is Fi.

Who is better at cheering the other up? 

Definitely Fi. Ghirahim and positivity don't necessarily mix, and it's difficult for him to get out of his OWN head, let alone help someone else out of theirs.

Who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

Mm... I can't see either of them doing that, but if I had to choose? Ghirahim.

Who is more streetwise?

Ghirahim. Not by too, too much, but he's, arguably, had a lot more freedom and exposure than Fi has.

Who is more wise?

Fi.

Who’s the shyest?

Fi. Ghirahim? Shy? Naaaaaah.

Who boasts about the other more? 

Ghirahim about Fi. He finds her absolutely gorgeous even while they're enemies, so once he successfully gets with her? Oh, EVERYONE is gonna know about it (the few people who are willing to listen to his rambling, at least.)

Who sits on whose lap? 

Hilariously, I can see Ghirahim wanting to sit on Fi's lap a lot. Nobody else can sit there if he's there, after all~

@braveryhearted ;;