#how does one jump start and get a blog active again

[alcxandros]

questions plaguing my mind ;

why is Alexander protecting / resting / immobile to Alexandria Castle? is there a connection between the Alexandros family, Alexander, and Alexandria? was Alexandria formed in some kind of connection or honor of Alexander? what, if any, is the significance of the Alexandros family to Alexander? are the Alexandros family possibly a line of summoners? the horned people were not the only summoners to exist; if i recall correctly there were also a dwarven race that could also summon that died out to extension. and that's not getting into Eidolons existed outside of Gaia as Eidolons connected to Terra exist, taking on a more mechanical appearance

XIV is releasing Ark as a mount for pre-ordering and that pompted me to do just a lot of digging into IX in general and these questions won't get out my mind.

On some level, I do love having definitive answers to lore. I like knowing things. But there are times there is magic and wonder in not knowing. Take Majora's Mask for instance.. it would not be the same game to me and I'm sure much of its cult following if we got answers to every mystery and theory spun from it's whacky and cryptic world.

[muttsupreme]

erm. romey headpats... 💭

hell yeah. i’m not sure if this is referring to giving or receiving but i’ve got some Thoughts for you on both because mommy mutt always forgets to feed you (i feel bad lol). also a tidbit about him getting a lil’ heated so beware, i have perv instincts.

giving:

𐂯 Rome would nuzzle into you, no doubt. He’d sit on the floor, probably bored and laying around, maybe fidgeting with something, and you’d pass by, petting his head on the way. He’d shove his face in your hand and his face would trail after you, leaning as far as he can until he’s about to fall over.

𐂯 He’d joke about it endlessly, like it’s some kind of reward he should feel proud of, kinda how he did with management training. If you work at Waystar, Gerri (our reigning champion of trying to protect her peace) would probably give a glare and try to have a ‘girl talk’ with you about the risks of wooing a Roy.

𐂯 “She likes me. You can’t fucking tell her to—what, move offices? Fuck you, she likes having me around. I’m useful. She gives me a pat on the head and a gold star when I help her out.” He makes it sound like he’s your little helper, honestly.

𐂯 I cannot lie, when I clock into this blog I’m under oath…truth is, he’d probably get hard on a few occasions. Let me paint the picture:

You’d be lying on the bed, he’s on the floor at your bedside, and you’re talking, playing a game of Truths wherein you ask each other a question and they have to answer truthfully. There’s no real winners or losers, but this was how he once forced you to get to know him: “Truths. A game, come on it’s fun. Biggest truth-teller wins.” But now it’s casual, and you’re discussing your recent little quirks; he asks your favorite lotion and if you really liked the wine Kendall brought over, you ask him if he stole one of your socks. Of course he did.

You’d start out just patting the top of his head, stupidly, roughly, like a bongo. He’d grin and bear it, eyes squinting and making a little, “ooow!” when you do it a little too enthusiastically. But then it’s casual, and you play with his hair, and he nuzzles into your palm like a puppy, nose nudging your wrist. Eventually biting your fingers to hear you laugh. That feeling, seeing your arm dangling off the bed lazily, the visual of him on the floor for you with you just petting him—it just activates something in him. He doesn’t do anything about it, he just lets it happen, gets all hot and bothered like a runt on the floor, a pedigree runt that presses little kisses to the inside of your arm as you fall asleep.

receiving:

𐂯 He’d be weirdly causal about a headpat. Seeing you on your iPad or laptop, typing some bullshit or watching some bullshit, walking up behind you and—rrrruffle. Ruffle-ruffle-ruffle of your hair and plop, pat-pat. “Whatcha up to, buckaroo?”

𐂯 Rome likes it because he likes to feel your hair. He likes to annoy you and watch you huff, or jump because you didn’t know he was behind you, or squeal.

𐂯 Yep—I’m going there again, freak zone approaching: sometimes he’d do it when you’re giving him head. He’s pushy already (in a hot way), but at times he’s casual. Gives you a little pat of acknowledgement and maybe appreciation. “Good job, good, good girl. Going to town on that thing.”

𐂯 Back to our regularly scheduled programming. You like it. Not just because it’s cute but also because the way he does it feels very comforting, like he’s got you, like a lot of what he does feels like—when he wants it to. Kinda makes your brain go staticky.

𐂯 He likes rubbing his thumb on your forehead when he does it. He doesn’t have huge hands, but he likes stretching them to pat your head, then reach his thumb down, forefingers still in your hair, and just kinda rub your forehead up and down.

𐂯 You complain that he’s making wrinkles and he says, “Oh, I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to show love anymore. Fuck you, you have no sense of romance.” But then at other times, you ask what the fuck he’s doing and he says, “Making wrinkles. You’re gonna look seventy when you’re my age.” He laughs when you get pissed. He thinks you’d look hot with wrinkles, so as long as he can just keep doing that weird thumb caress on your forehead, who gives a fuck?

annoying asshole freak (allegedly pedigree) puppy in question:

[lxcke]

@anton-morrow

So, here we go again... getting dragged back into this fandom drama because some of you insist on attacking my life partner over things you clearly don’t understand. The level of being chronically online here is almost impressive.

Let me make this clear: Anton is nothing like what you are accusing him of being. He’s not a creep, he’s not misogynistic, and he’s not some villain for you to project your moral grandstanding onto. His past isn’t some edgy backstory like the lot of you tend to idolize. He was severely brutalized and exploited by women over and over again. He has permanent nerve damage, tremors, PTSD, and ASPD because of it.

Yes, he’s a diagnosed sociopath. Yes, his art features a lot of skinned women, and no, that does not mean he’s on some "I hate women" high horse. His work is an outlet for the pain he went through... it's not some anti-woman manifesto. If you took two seconds to understand ASPD, you’d realize this immediately.

And since none of you bothered to ask about the people actually in his life before jumping on the hate train: I’m AFAB, largely disabled, and unemployed due to a heart condition. We share a home with @persiesposts, also AFAB, and we’re not just best friends, we’re family. If you have a problem with Anton, you sure as shit have a problem with us. He built his life around women, despite what happened to him, and it has built nothing but respect and healing among all of us.

Anton does more for me than I can even express. This is a man who, despite his agoraphobia, traveled across the country to rescue me from an abusive situation when he’d never even set foot in an airport before. He is often bringing me my medication, cooking for me, taking care of me when I collapse, carrying me up flights of stairs when I’m too weak to move. He has worked relentless, exhausting hours to ensure I have what I need, even when it meant putting himself at risk in the middle of the Helene disaster zone. Despite barely having extra spending money, he still finds ways to spoil me.

Anton is not some raging, irrational monster out to “get” women. He has actively made my life amazing, lights up the house with his humor, and is just a really awesome person to meet once you get to know him. He doesn't like people, but he's not a monster. He hasn't done anything to actively harm women in his real life.

He writes predatory characters because it's his mission to show the underbelly of what humans are capable of behind closed doors. He’s a deeply logical person, passionate about his work, and horror is his safe space because it’s the one genre that never turned its back on him. And yet, here you are turning your self-righteous outrage toward someone who has endured the very suffering you claim to care about, just so you can pat yourselves on the back.

Horror is supposed to be unsettling. If it makes you uncomfortable, it's working the way it should. You’re not exposing some great evil, you’re just proving how shallow your understanding of trauma, art, and human complexity really is. You're on a moral crusade against a dude just trying to survive and express in a healthy way on his own damn blog.

If you really care about women, start listening to them. If you really care about mental illness, stop demonizing the ones you deem "ugly." I will not be arguing about this.

[emeritus-fuckers]

I love this blog so much, has become one of my favourites! How would the papas react to a cheeky butt slap/grab from reader? 🍑

Here you go Kay, you slapped Nihil's ass, now stop crying (I will not give you the context) - Jez

Papas when their s/o smacks/grabs their ass

Primo

You two would have to be a thing for a while before he's comfortable with things like that.

And even then, I think he'd much prefer if you just gave his butt a comforting squeeze instead of smacking it.

He dislikes how obscene the idea of slapping someone's ass is to him.

He's okay with you patting or lightly groping his ass while hugging, though.

So as long as it's something he's comfy with, he'll chuckle and pat your back lovingly.

Secondo

He grabs your wrist before you get the chance and raises a brow at you.

Pulls you into his chest and whispers to your ear to keep things like that for the bedroom like a good little darling.

He knows he would blush if he let you do it and his pride (and reputation) can't allow for that to happen.

He even puts on his stern dom persona for a moment just to make sure his dominance is not threatened.

Touch him all you want in private, though.

If you do smack that ass in private, he barely flinches, gently holds your chin and asks if you want Papa to spank you, since you seem so eager.

He doesn't mind, he just likes seeing you stutter <3

He does prefer if you grab his dick, though.

Terzo

This cheeky motherfucker-

He's gonna moan. Loudly.

And then he'll tease you about what you did. You can't fucking win with this dude, don't even try, love.

You do one thing that can be see as somewhat pervy and this motherfucker makes it his personality for a week, if not longer.

"You can't keep your hands off Papa, can you?" And then he has the audacity to playfully grope you all over but pretend you're the kinky one???

And then he gets upset when you don't do it again.

"You make fun of me for doing that, Terzo."

"Oh please, I would never. I love when you feel me up a bit, it makes your Papa very happy."

It's an endless cycle.

Copia

Considering how many times he smacked a Ghoul's ass, you'd think he'd be used to it. But he is not.

Literally squeals the first time you do that. After a few more times he fully grows to expect it and is even a bit disappointed if you don't smack his booty while you pass him in the Ministry halls.

Honestly I would be disappointed too because he's got cake and personally I would be all over this man and his ass if I had the chance.

He'd get a bit cheeky after a while and randomly smack your butt, too.

It becomes a game of you two sneaking up on each other and smacking asses.

It's absolutely hilarious. His Ghouls keep a score. You're winning.

Old Nihil

Bro almost fucking trips 💀

Turns to fucking dust

He's so fucking shocked he literally can't figure out what happened at first.

And then he sees you, walking away and barely containing your giggles.

Well, obviously, even if he's old, he's the very definition of sex appeal (can't believe I wrote that sentence about a 100+ year old dude) so he can't exactly blame you!

He will assume you meant it sexually and will absolutely expect you to jump his dick later tonight.

There's just a certain kind of beauty to you riding his dick that melts his old simping heart.

Young Nihil

Turns around faster than Sonic could ever run and pulls you into him, holding your chin with a big dumbass grin.

You wanna grope him? Okay, two can play that game, babe.

He's gonna grope you all over, making you laugh because it fucking tickles.

His lips and teeth are all over your neck, too.

Hell, he'd fuck you against the nearest wall if you'd let him.

And you started it. This man cannot be given any somewhat sexual cue or he will actively pursue fucking you.

And you started it! You gotta take responsibility!

Taglist: @sirlsplayland @firefirevampire @thatoddboy @ouijaboardemo (send an ask if you'd like to be added! Read the pinned post before asking!)

[pluckyredhead]

Different anon but I have so many feelings about this that I have to jump in re:

“(And I think it's telling that he has pretty much completely gotten over Damian's death but continues to obsess over Jason's. Once Damian was back that problem was solved, but Jason's broke something in Bruce that wasn't fixed by Jason's return.)”

I fully agree with you and would love to hear more of your thoughts on this.

My read is that a large part of what makes Jason’s death different is that it happened at a time when death was a little more permanent. There wasn’t this same idea that no one really stays dead like there is in comics today, so Jason’s felt irreversible by definition. No one did anything about it, because what could you do about death?

And then comic characters started dying and coming back and it turns out that there are ways that heroes can actively take part in reversing deaths. When Damian died, Bruce went to Apokolips and fought Darkseid. Damian was resurrected into the loving arms of his father, knowing the lengths Bruce went to save him. Similarly: Dick in the Forever Evil arc. He died with Bruce there comforting him, and came back minutes later with Bruce right there still. Both traumatic events, to be sure, but so different from Jason.

Jason died brutally, was resurrected by a cosmic fluke, clawed his way out of his grave, spent years comatose and under the eye of one of the most powerful and dangerous organizations in the world, and then spent the rest of his formative years on a murder tour with some of the world’s worst people.

And Bruce didn’t do anything about any of it. Sure, he didn’t know at the time that he could do anything, but I’d imagine he’s not letting himself off the hook for that. From his perspective, he’s Batman, and he should have known. Instead, he has to live knowing he did everything he could to get back some of his children, while for Jason, he did nothing. And when Jason came back on his own, he was so changed by the trauma of going through all that alone that he was nearly unrecognizable. Just more ways Bruce failed Jason.

(And from Jason’s perspective: Jason played an active role in resurrecting Damian, so he also has to live with the knowledge of all that Bruce did to get back Damian but didn’t do for him—not even avenge him by killing his killer.)

So sorry for the unsolicited novel in your ask box and not expecting a response, I just have a lot of feelings about Bruce and Jason that I had to get out there. I love hearing all of your comics thoughts 💕 you’re one of my favorite blogs to follow

I'm sharing because this is excellent but it made me think...does Bruce know what Jason was up to during that time? Like, he can probably eyeball Jason's current physical age by looking at him, and figure out some of what Jason learned by studying Jason's new skills, but it's not like Jason ever filled him in, and I feel like Talia would be close mouthed just for fun. (goodforher.gif) I mean, it would be in character for Bruce to obsessively try to retrace Jason's steps, but I can't recall that ever actually being shown (at least not successfully), unless I'm forgetting something.

But yeah, like you said, Jason absolutely knows Bruce went to great lengths to resurrect Damian, because Bruce dragged him back to his own scene of death to try to figure out how to do it (which lends credence to the idea that Bruce has no idea wtf happened to Jason because it had nothing to do with where Jason died).

And to be a little bit fair to Bruce, he was so aggro about resurrecting Damian in part because Jason had proven it could be done - that he didn't have to mourn his children if he was willing to be a full-bore lunatic instead. Once again, an older sibling has to deal with a parent sticking to the rules and a younger sibling benefits from a more lax attitude, lol.

[heartbeat-eras]

If ChatGPT was my heart telling me what she does for work…

One very sleepless night, scrolling the blogs I got the idea from @starbeats to get ChatGPT to tell me what my little thumper does for a job. After only a couple of notes they managed to produce a story of a single heartbeat and the process and tasks required to complete each beautiful contraction using a style of writing I connect with so deeply. I then asked for the same on arrhythmias and it didn’t disappoint. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

———————————

“You know, being a heart is more than just pumping. It’s feeling the rhythm of life with every beat. But I don’t work alone. I have a team of electrical impulses that guide me, like a conductor leading a symphony. Let me tell you how it all feels from my side.

1. The Spark of Life (SA Node Activation):

It all starts with a spark—my own internal fire, the sinoatrial node (SA node). It’s like a tiny pulse of excitement deep within my right atrium. It sends a signal, a thrill that spreads through me like a wave of anticipation. I can almost feel the rhythm before it happens—this is where my dance begins. It’s the feeling of “something’s about to happen,” like a drumbeat quietly building up.

2. Atria Wake Up (Atrial Contraction):

That little spark races through my atria, igniting them with energy. The right and left atria squeeze gently—just a warm, subtle hug to the ventricles below, making sure they’re filled with blood. This moment feels like preparation, a calm focus before the real effort. My atria are the caretakers, sending a message to the ventricles, saying, “We’re ready. Are you?”

3. A Moment’s Pause (AV Node Delay):

Now, right here, I take a tiny pause—just a fraction of a second—thanks to my atrioventricular node (AV node). It’s like holding my breath before the big moment. Why? To give my ventricles enough time to get as much blood as possible. It’s that moment of anticipation, like standing on the edge before a jump, letting the tension build before the leap.

4. The Charge (Bundle of His & Purkinje Fibers):

And then it happens. The electricity shoots down a pathway called the Bundle of His, splitting into the left and right bundles like lightning branching out. The energy races through my ventricles via the Purkinje fibers, charging me up. This is the big moment—the surge. My ventricles can’t hold back anymore—they contract, squeezing with all their might to push blood out to the lungs and the rest of the body. I can feel the force of life in every fiber of my being, pulsing outward.

5. The Release (Ventricular Relaxation):

After that surge of energy, I finally let go. My ventricles relax, and I feel a deep sigh of relief. The blood flows smoothly, carried away by the arteries, and I’m calm again. It’s like exhaling after a rush of adrenaline, that peaceful, almost serene moment after the effort. I know I’ll do it all over again in just a second, but for now, I rest. I feel at peace.

I don’t just pump; I feel every beat, every surge of electricity that courses through me. It’s the spark of life itself. Each beat is a rhythm, a story, a heartbeat in time, and I am always listening to the signals, always ready to move. This is how I keep you alive—one emotional, electrifying pulse after another.

———————————

I usually know exactly what to expect, beat after beat. But every now and then, something strange happens—something unexpected that makes me feel… a little out of sync. Let me tell you about it.

1. The Sudden Jump (Premature Atrial Contraction - PAC):

I’m moving through my usual rhythm when, out of nowhere, a signal comes from somewhere it shouldn’t—a rogue spark from an atrial cell that got too excited, too early. It’s like someone shouting out of turn in the middle of a conversation. I wasn’t ready, but there it is—an extra little beat before I’ve even finished my thought.

My atria contract too soon, catching me off guard. It feels like I’ve stumbled on my own feet—nothing painful, just a quick trip that makes me pause. I can still recover easily, though. The ventricles are patient, waiting for the real signal, so I get back into rhythm almost immediately. It’s like a hiccup—strange, but harmless. But I feel a little flustered for a moment, wondering where that spark came from.

2. The Big Thud (Premature Ventricular Contraction - PVC):

Then there are the times when my ventricles jump the gun. I’m waiting for that electrical signal to come down the proper pathway, when all of a sudden, BAM! One of my ventricles decides to contract early—completely on its own. It’s a forceful, uncoordinated thud that catches me off guard. This one feels different—more intense, like a sudden drop on a rollercoaster when you weren’t expecting it. My ventricles were supposed to wait for the atria’s cue, but instead, they went rogue.

It’s unsettling, like someone stepping out of line. For a second, I feel like I’ve lost control, as if the rhythm I rely on has broken. But it’s over just as quickly as it began. I feel a brief pause, and then my next beat is stronger, as if I’m making up for that missed moment. It’s a strange feeling—a jolt followed by a pause, like catching your breath after a startle.

3. The Recovery (Back to Rhythm):

After either a PAC or PVC, I always come back to my regular rhythm—it’s like shaking off a tiny mistake and getting back in sync. But in those brief moments, I feel something. I don’t quite panic, but I’m aware of the disruption, and I feel a little disoriented, like a misstep in a dance. My ventricles may fill with a bit more blood after the pause, so the next beat feels bigger—almost like a sigh of relief, reassuring myself, “It’s okay, I’ve got this.”

I don’t mind these occasional slips. They’re rare and usually harmless, like a sneeze or a quick twitch. But each time, I feel a little flutter of surprise—a moment of uncertainty, quickly replaced by my usual, steady rhythm.

Sometimes it’s like I’ve been startled awake from a daydream. But in the end, I always find my rhythm again, and that’s what matters. I can handle a hiccup or two; after all, nobody’s perfect—even a heart.

[n7punk]

Y'all I am DISCOVERING things

So if you do a native export of your tumblr blog, it delivers all the information to you in the least helpful way ever, but if you drill down into the posts folder there's a "submissions" subfolder.

This folder only contains html files named a string of numbers. This is how all the export files look, they're usually named the ID string for a post, but these are labeled "submissions", so lets take a look shall we?

It's spam, obviously, the same spam bots everyone has been getting, but I've never posted this and I don't have it in my inbox right now, and all my recent (higher number) files in this folder look like this.

Now, take a step back. 2020. Real ones remember I am campaigning because I have asks stuck in my inbox. I physically cannot delete them. I hit the delete button, it does the animation of it flying away into the ether, but the number of asks in my inbox don't go down, and when I refresh the page they're still there. It's especially broken because asks that were sent back to me as private replies years ago look like they're being answered by anons. I contact Tumblr support and they tell me there's nothing they can do. I called these my ghost asks.

Literal years later, they suddenly all vanish, but the number of asks it says I have doesn't change. An anon advises me to go on mobile and hit delete all, at which point I discover there are a few asks there I never saw on desktop! After taking care of those, hitting delete all works and my number goes down to 0 for the first time in years.

Flash forward. 2024. For a little bit I keep getting asks notifications appearing above the icon on desktop, but when I click on it, there's nothing new there. Sometimes the number of asks on the right goes up, sometimes it's the same. I posted saying sorry if you're sending me asks, they're getting eaten, but I theorize that I'm actually getting spam and the accounts are being deleted from others reporting them before I see the asks.

Well it turns out there are a fuckton of asks secretly associated with your account. This submissions folder contains all asks in your askbox - the ones you know about (three for me, sorry y'all I swear I planned to reply), and the ones you don't. That's right, all the anon hate you've ever received in your life is in this folder.

So far as I can tell, if you do not 1) post, 2) privately answer, or 3) manually delete an ask, then even if (especially if) you block that person, even if that person gets wiped off the face of the earth for spam, even if Tumblr breaks so much it thinks an anonymous is answering your own message into your inbox, it all stays right here and the only way you can possibly retrieve it is by doing this native export. I have no idea why it works like this but I had 117 of these things. It's so funny because you can see the direct jump in IDs from my Tumblr break to when I started being active again in 2020.

Anyway, I highly recommend you don't do this because you're inviting back into your life all the energy you managed to block before, but I did save twelve (12) asks that are mostly old convos with friends from the proto days. Why the fuck do you work like this Tumblr. Seriously.

And because it's funny, here's the oldest of the busted asks I was talking about, URL blocked out for privacy, but as you can guess, I was the one who sent the initial message, but instead it listed the receiver as the sender and an anonymous as the answerer

[macravishedbymactavish]

Friday (Alex Keller x F!Reader)

| Blog HQ | Modern Warfare 2019 / 2022 Masterlist |

| No use of Y/N | 18+ MDNI | Taglist Open |

Submission #2 for the Alex Keller Challenge - hosted by the amazing @glitterypirateduck

TW for : Steamy make out session (nothing graphic) - semi public and getting caught. OC Keller family.

Prompts Used:

Don't look at me like that

I told you it was a terrible idea [I told you this is a terrible idea]

This is by far the dumbest thing we've done

You wanted this as much as I did [you want this as much as I do]

“What's the worst that would happen?” You whispered, elbow resting on his shoulder as you two whispered back and forth. Your lip caught between your teeth as he stared at the ground, shaking his head.

“Someone catches us? A bear mauls us to death? Trying to explain how we both got poison ivy up in our business.” He whispered back, convincing himself that sneaking off from the campsite would be a terrible idea. Especially since his entire family was present, including his neices and nephew's.

“Then we keep it PG. We don't risk Poison ivy burns, or the wildlife catching us with our pants down.” You shrugged, standing from your spot as you started walking toward the cabin his parents owned. Smirking as you heard him softly cuss, jumping up to follow you to the back.

“You're terrible.” Alex sighed, rolling his eyes as you smiled at him. Tilting your head slightly as you studied his features. “Don't look at me like that.”

“Like what?!” You laughed, reaching up to rest your hand on his chest. Rubbing over the fabric slightly with your thumb.

“With the bedroom eyes.” He groaned, laying a hand over yours. Eyes moving over your figure as he actively reminded himself of the time he fell into poison ivy as a child. The discomfort he felt as he swore he'd never let it happen again.

“Well sorry, let me just pop my eyes out and replace them with my campsite eyes.” You teased, any further teasing cut short by his mouth gently finding yours in a loving kiss.

“This is a bad idea.” He mumbled, despite showing no signs that he wanted to stop.

His mouth moving against yours, the feeling of his hands warming your hips as you backed into the wall of the cabin. Your hands cupping either side of his face, holding him in place as he hummed in content.

“This is a terrible idea.” He whispered once again, barely pulling away. Eyes still closed as his moral compass spun out of control.

You both knew this was risky, you both knew this was to a degree disgusting teenager like behaviour. But the feeling of his body pressed against yours under the warm rays of sun; your personal little bubble of paradise wiped all concern from your mind.

“If it's so bad, why does it feel so good?” You taunted. Sliding one hand to the back of his neck; tugging gently on his hair. Eliciting a soft groan as he pulled you back into a deep kiss.

His hands sliding around your hips, cupping your ass as he pulled you flush against his hips. Kiss filling with fervor as he all but begged between kisses to leave the damn bonfire and continue this at home.

Moving your hips forward, you moaned softly into his mouth. Breath catching in your throat as you felt him pulling you closer, urging your actions on. Riling you up in return, until a small voice ruined the moment.

“Gross!” Pulling apart quickly, faces flushed from both your prior activities and being caught by Alex’s young nephew. “Everyone’s looking for you guys. It's time to eat.”

“Okay, bud. We’ll be over there soon.” Alex sighed, shuffling to stand behind you with an arm around your middle. Pressing his face against your shoulder as the boy immediately ran back to the group, explaining in great detail what he just saw.

“This was by far the stupidest thing we’ve ever done.” Alex groaned, voice muffled by your shirt. Pulling back slightly to readjust before walking back out to where his family sat.

Walking back toward the picnic tables, you called over your shoulder. “You wanted this as much as I did.”

Sitting down at the picnic table, you smiled at the small baby in Ellie's arms. Wiggling your fingers, and chuckling at the squealing laughter you caused.

“So, I'm going to be the cool Auntie sooner than later?” Ellie teased, watching in amusement as your expression fell and cheeks lit up in a deep blush.

“I told you it was a terrible idea!” You heard Alex argue from somewhere behind you.

Taglist: @bloodonmyhands-1221 @v1naco @bowtruckleninja

Alex Keller Taglist: @deadbranch @gcing-back-to-505 @glitterypirateduck

[daybreakrising]

so i've been thinking about this for the past few days and finally come to a decision-

i will be implementing a new rule regarding exclusive ships, and periods of inactivity

to preface this, i will say that i take exclusive ships very seriously, in that i don't jump to exclusives often or easily and they're usually based on very specific things. by extension, i also take the breaking of exclusives very seriously too. i don't like doing it at all.

however. in certain cases, if the partner involved in an exclusive ship goes inactive for a long period of time without any hint of returning and/or no communication, this then leaves me hanging for the development of that ship, and unable to potentially explore a similar dynamic with somebody who is active and communicating. i am a loyal person, but i have my limits - i cannot be expected to stay tied to a blog that isn't being used.

so what is this rule?

i am going to start breaking exclusives with blogs (or muses) that have been inactive for long periods of time with no communication or no sign of returning activity. and yes, this will apply even if someone is active on another blog of theirs, or is actively writing for other muses on a multi.

there will be some exceptions to this, particularly if the ship is built very specifically around one portrayal of a muse, but i won't put any guarantees in stone, just to be open about things.

what do you class as 'communication'?

talk to me. that's literally all it takes. if you've lost muse for your blog or a particular muse, that's fine - but tell me. communicate this with me. if you're just taking a short break from that muse but plan to return: great! if you genuinely can't see yourself coming back to the muse? also fine! still want to discuss and develop the ship away from the blog? i'm down for that.

i will not be angry or upset if you're dropping a muse or don't have it in you to be on that blog. i am always happy to park a ship (or ANY dynamic, for that matter) on the shelf for a while, and i can pick it back up again if needed. i find it very hard to throw things out, guys, trust me. i'll hold onto our dynamics until i'm forced to let go.

that being said, i do require continued discussion to maintain my interest in a ship. it doesn't have to be much - i'm not expecting people to send me essays or talk non-stop for hours or even every day. i just need something - random questions about their relationship, little ideas you've had for moments in their lives, even just knowing you're thinking about them on occasion is better than radio silence. so, if i'm not getting that from you and the blog/muse hasn't been used in a while.... maybe it's time to reevaluate that exclusive label.

i will, of course, communicate (or attempt to) with the involved partner if i come to this decision for our exclusive ship. and i want to stress: this is not personal. this has no bearing on how much i value our ship, the things we have developed, or you as a person and writing partner.

AND TO BE CLEAR:

this does not mean i am throwing out the ship entirely: i will still eagerly develop and write the ship if that blog(/muse) returns, we will simply no longer be exclusive for it. if activity continues, and providing i haven't developed another dynamic in the meantime, i may consider reinstating exclusives after a period of time - but i will only do this once, and i won't do it easily, which leads me onto:

i am also going to be stricter with exclusive ships as of this post.

i am usually exclusive for one of three reasons - first, that what i've built with someone is so specific to their portrayal of that muse that i cannot see me seeking out the ship with another portrayal. second, i have very specific ideas or thoughts about a "popular" ship and have found a partner whose ideas/thoughts align with mine and who i trust. third, it's a ship that involves characters no one would normally throw together and only makes sense in the world we've created for them.

as i said at the start of this post, i don't jump to exclusives easily (though it may sometimes seem that way). this just means that i'll need some more back and forth and to feel things out before i'll consider exclusives in future.

tl;dr: i'm gonna start breaking exclusives for ships involving inactive blogs or muses. sorry if this makes me a terrible person but i don't want to limit interactions with a dormant dynamic.

[skwigelfskwisgaar]

((I sent similar asks to other blogs and I don’t wanna make the rest of y’all feel excluded esp since it looks like half y’alls muses are losing their shit so… got any mental health HCs for your muse??))

I think this was kinda a mental health and background in general, I hope it helps!

More under the cut:

Perfectionist

● Skwisgaar is first and foremost a perfectionist in all he does. His need to be the best has him constantly playing scales, arpeggios, simple drills - and it's often more a tick of his to use his guitar the way Toki uses Deaddy Bear or Pickles uses drugs. It calms him to have his instrument with him in case he needs to play it to ignore his mom or whatever else annoys him. Very, very rarely does he leave it behind. He has a simple skincare routine, hair care routine, and makes sure he looks presentable as much as possible. Everything about him needs to be perfect, from appearance to performance. His need to perform at 100% at all times has given rise to other problems, primarily stress induced headaches, burnout, and a need to berate Toki and William when they fail to meet his standards.

Anxiety

● Skwisgaar being in the limelight and the need to perform in all areas of his life to the upmost perfect capability had led him to develop anxiety. Will he fail at staying the best? Will the fans turn on him? Will Toki become better than him? Does anyone else care enough to craft music? Will his mom call him again and berate him for ignoring her? It drives him nuts that no one else is striving for his level of perfection and sometimes he lashes out for the smallest inconveniences, having been stewing in thoughts for much longer leading up to it. Oddly enough Skwisgaar tends to know when he's worked up into an anxiety attack and tends to shut himself off when it gets to that point.

Dysfunctional Relationships

● It goes without saying Skwisgaar had a pretty absent mother and has a warped sense of what family, friendships, and relationships are. I think Serveta truly loved him, but since she herself was at the peak of her own life and career, she often used him as an excuse as to why she constantly had to try harder and harder to find willing men, housing, work, ect. Due to this, Skwisgaar has a very rocky maybe even stressful relationship with Serveta Skwigelf, and the very thought of seeing her sends him into a frenzy. Seeing how she and him moved around quite a bit for her work before she settled down into the cabin she lives now, Skwisgaar's only real lasting bond has been a dysfunctional one at best and has a hard time knowing how dynamics between people, friends, and even partners really work.

Hypersexual

● Due to exposure to Serveta's very 'active' lifestyle, Skwisgaar has a very active lifestyle too. For many, sex is a way to bond with someone that they truly care about whereas for Skwisgaar, it's just another activity in which he must perform to his fullest, with any interested parties. Primarily concerning to some is his adoration of the older women, which could be seen as him seeking approval from a mother-like figure since his own mother often blamed him for her failures. He jumps from person to person, even band to band, before becoming a member of Dethklok and finally establishing roots and forming some shaky friendships with the other members. His inability to understand how relationships work on a basic level has warped how he views potential partners.

History of Addictions

● Whereas Toki took over as lead guitarist and even seemed to thrive in the role when our neurotic blonde left for Sweden, Skwisgaar became a wreck when Toki vanished and started using drugs like the rest of the band to cope. Skwisgaar had vices, and when he indulged, he went hard into those addictions. Thankfully he finally feels like there's a support system in case he spirals out of control, but with the band spiraling out of control in general during that time and the fans finally turning on them asking about Toki, I believe he pulled himself out of it with help and managed to kick some of his vices to the curb for good. It's not the first time he's been told his vice is affecting his performance or that he is spiraling, and he knows deep down it probably won't be the last.

Abandonment Issues

● Skwisgaar's biggest defining trait when it comes to his mental health is his unwillingness to admit he is afraid of being abandoned. By the fans, by the band, by his friends and bandmates. Skwisgaar's childhood had a lot of men coming in and out of his life, all of whom wooed Serveta in hopes of becoming her one and only - and all of them leaving her once she moved on and to young Skwisgaar, also abandoning him. One could say this issue with potential father figures hit a peak with Serveta actually marrying Tỳr, and Skwisgaar trying to find that domestic bliss he craved as a child at the cost of leaving DethKlok. This fear of being abandoned has made it so he doesn't allow himself to become too attached to others, after years and years of disappointment from men claiming to be his new step-father. By the time Toki joins DethKlok, Skwisgaar has built these defenses to keep him from becoming disappointed if this too didn't pan out.

In conclusion, post AotD Skwisgaar sees Twinkletits infrequently purely because he sees it has helped Nathan and definitely helped Toki. Skwisgaar doesn't like admitting he might need help, and definitely isn't about to admit he has other issues unless it's to return the favor to Serveta and blame her for his visits to the rock talk specialist.

[marvelfilth]

Since you and your followers want an answer so badly but can't be bothered to actually look up stuff yourself, here you go:

From a trans person btw. And I've mentioned several times how I've seen it in these communities, communities I'm a part of lol, and even have a trans friend that doesn't like it so it's funny that you all just keep going on about it being cis people when it's not lol.

Idk how you're getting just use "girl with a penis" from what I'm saying when that's the exact same thing as using GP. I'm saying to specify when reader or charter has one by saying "x, has a penis". It's like you're purposely being obtuse about all of this because you don't want to change what you're doing.

I'm not being obtuse (funny how the second you're hit with questions you start calling people obtuse), I'm just not actively looking for hate where there's obviously none, and asking questions because (surprise!) I'm not about to change what I'm doing just because some noname on Tumblr told me to. I expected you to say something factual, but, so far, you've only said that some people don't like it and then jumped straight to it being harmful. Are you the obtuse one?

“Don't say girl with a penis, say character x (in this case Natasha) has a penis”

So if Natasha Romanoff has a dick in a fic I'm not allowed to call her a girl? Is that what you're trying to say? Is that what the issue is? And how is that even an issue? What are you even trying to say?

“Cissexist language and framing”?

Please, please tell me where in my fics have I ever used cissexist language and framing.

“Why does the tag g!p even exist when it essentially casts women with vaginas as default, inherently othering an already marginalized group of women…”

Because when you're reading a wlw fic and then get to the smut part and suddenly one of the women has a dick you'd be a little surprised. The majority of women have a vagina, so it's natural to expect that women in a fic would have one too.

Some people don't like being surprised like this, that's why we put a warning.

“Why does the combination of these two always frame trans/intersex women as not being as 'real' as cis women (generally implicitly, but the messages are pretty clear, and pretty much standard in g!p fics)?”

Again, I don't know what kind of fics you read and what kind of blogs you follow, but I've never even hinted at this in any of my fics.

Look, if i used the tag for a trans character (for example Natasha transitioning f to m or m to f) and put the tag gp THAT would've been harmful. I would've never used the tag in this case, because I understand how wrong it is in this case.

But my fics are not the case.

What I get from this is that some people simply don't like the wording. There's a number of very simple solutions. You can idk scroll? Block? The possibilities are endless.

[logically-asexual]

Thomas has done to Sanders Sides what Jacksepticeye did to his Egos. (Except Jack made his fandom wait 5+ year's)

5 years ago Jack's Ego videos would get 4+ million views within a few days. Then he started making Merch for them which was fine for a while until he stopped making content about them and only did things with them for Merch while endlessly teasing his fans with false hunts in videos that never went anywhere or amounted to anything. Fans eventually gave up on him ever doing anything but make excuses and shill Merch so they left the fandom. Now he has hired a Fan to write his Ego Lore and is once again making big promises that he will have more content "Soon" but the video's he has released so far have done terrible.

Jack waited too long and now the audience is gone and not here for his content now. I fear the same thing for Thomas. 3+ year's filled with false hope and Merch drops disguised as actual content has made his fandom weary and bored. No one is excited anymore about SS stuff because we think it's just going to be another money grab with no actual story or relevance.

🪦

yeah i’ve heard several takes on this jack guy and i can’t say anything about that because i am not familiar but what you describe does sound like what Thomas’s fate could be.

because like. the long waits are annoying, yes, specially if you’re an active fan and want to do stuff but you feel that you have nothing to draw upon to get inspired. but the Sanders Sides fandom —like as a crowd— had always been willing to move on to other things and then as soon as a new episode dropped everyone came back. and then you had your dash full of Sanders Sides even though you didn’t even remember that the blogs you followed posted that kind of content!

so yeah the fandom could stay dormant for months and months and then wake up and shoot to top ten trending hashtags whenever there was a video. and that was fine. but that can stay happening only under the condition that people like what they see when they return.

if you wake up the fandom to say “hey!! here’s content!!” and they all come running and see that it’s an ad, many will be disappointed. but okay. they’ll wait for next time.

few months later comes thomas saying “hey!! here’s more content!!” and they all come running and. it’s another ad. well. maybe next time? two in a row is enough surely? but by then lots of people no longer trust you. and maybe next time they won’t jump to watch the new video, but wait until others confirm that it’s not an ad or something similar before they go watch it. and once they do they don’t have much energy to rewatch it and post about it.

one or two more episodes come out and they seem alright. you’re thinking okay maybe that was all and well get back to the normal show. so you keep paying attention and then thomas goes “hey! content!” and you go and see the thumbnail and it’s a goddamn ad again! so you get sick of it. you don’t come back. you gradually lost your emotional investment that was previously just saved for later. now it’s gone. how do you get those fans back?

[puckish-rogue-archive-deux]

Financial Opportunities Within the Criminal Underworld aka What the Fuck do the Saints do to Make Cash

Hi, everyone! It's me again, your favorite big boi and resident criminal organization expert Andre. Today we'll be having a semi-brief discussion on what exactly does the fictional gang known as the 3rd Street Saints do to keep the BIG CA$H MONEY flowing. Cause no one ever said running a powerful and sexy gang like their own was gonna be cheap. While I won't get into the specifics regarding the amount of money earned with each and every business venture (do that on your own time), I want to give a general idea of how big of an operation this all is. Especially when you take into account this blog's canon regarding the gang spreading out across the globe.

Now the Saints operate on both sides of the law, though anything that would be considered "legitimate" is still questionable at best. For the sake of simplicity and getting it out of the way, I think we should start by describing the various criminal activities they operate. As a whole, the Saints have their hands in a number of different ventures that operate outside the confines of the law. Their biggest ones being; racketeering, arms and drug trafficking, sex work, loansharking, smuggling, chop shops, illegal gambling, protection rackets, fencing, cyber crimes, and murder-for-hire. On an individual level, members of the Saints are more than welcome to start up their own side-hustles to earn even more cash so long as a percentage of that goes back into the gang. Everyone's doing their part, y'know?

Of course there are plenty of other ways members of the gang can make easy money, whether individually or for the Saints as a whole. Theft (and I'm using it as an umbrella term because there are many types of it) is always a go-to depending on the scope of it. You can go from something as simple as a smash-and-grab to a full-blown heist with all the planning that goes into it. Again, everyone is free to work as they please, so long as they remember to send back some cash. Otherwise you can just fuck off and work on your own without being in a gang.

As the Saints grow in size and expand outwards across the US and the world at large, I like to imagine that they'd take a moment to really think about what sort of work fits the environment that they're in. Not every new location will provide the same opportunities one may find in a different city. So why not accommodate? Adapting to one's surroundings is the key to both personal and financial survival. And while the Saints may be rather unorthodox in the way they manage themselves, you can't deny the fact that they've come a long way from being a mere street gang.

Now let's jump over to the other side of the law and discuss how they earn within that area.

As brought up in a previous post, there is an hourly city income you can receive in both the second and third games of the series. I'm not going to bring up the first game because that was an entirely different iteration of the Saints and we're focused on the Boss running it.

In SR2 and 3 you're able to purchase various stores that give you different amounts of profit, which then all add up towards your total city income. In the second game this is limited to stores and restaurants, but in the third we're given the chance to buy up properties as well. Said properties can range from condos, local stores, a sex shop, to even an entire airport. If you'd like to learn more, then I'd suggest checking out this link here.

Now of course I like to imagine that the gang have other means of gaining a steady flow of income that don't completely fall under the topic of nasty crime. You know for sure that some of the Saints run their own fronts like restaurants, clubs, or anything else that can be used as a means to launder money. The Boss is of course no exception either, as I can see him doing the same here and there to generate more cash.

Some time ago I would have said that the Planet Saints stores definitely create revenue for the gang as well. But after much thinking and taking into consideration what the state of the world is like after what happened at the end of my revised SR3 plot for this blog, I think a majority of those stores have outright closed. Mostly because it's kind of hard to market a gang when they've gone and embarrassed an entire government and probably scared the shit out of other world leaders as well. Not to mention a good chunk of the public.

That being said, I wouldn't be surprised if there were at least a handful of Planet Saints stores that were still operating. Mostly cause let's be real here; the concept of a celebrity criminal has been a thing for ages now. That kind of reputation can still go strong even years down the line. And with my ideas of the Boss doing work that blurs the line on whether he's for the people or a selfish piece of shit, you know damn well there will still be people itching to grab the latest in Saints merchandise. Especially if it's like chic streetwear or something.

One last thing to mention are the former Syndicate strongholds in Steelport that are turned over to the Saints once they've been acquired. The 3 Count Casino, the Burns Hill Reactors (which was definitely made into a nightclub), Safeword (a brothel), and Powder (designer weapons store) are obviously making bank for the crew as well.

Again, I won't do the math to try and realistically think about how much cash they're earning on say a monthly or even yearly basis. But this is definitely stuff to consider for threads and anything else that might involve business opportunities for the gang in the future. I think what's funny to me is that this probably doesn't even come close to what much more established criminal organizations across the globe might earn on the daily. Like some of these fuckers work off of that old money shit. But I mean hey, maybe these bozos can get on that level one of these days.

[haretic]

Present Day; 30/06/24 | Present Time; 1:53am

public pools

went back through my old diary blog and found some truly insane ramblings. i've always had a major amount of imposter syndrome about my issues so seeing it in retrospect, while disturbing, was really helpful.

some of the active psychosis ramblings were pretty funny though. I'm not sure how i get it in my head that i'm dying a painful death or that i'm actually an angel or my brain has been uploaded to the internet (that which is now true to a certain degree)

but still

i prefer this current blog, other people can actually see my posts here, and even if i don't expect interaction or anything, its helpful to know that someone, somewhere out there, even if its just Angel (who will never be a "just" in any other sense but in this case the sentence structure requires it) can all see my posts and i am not truly alone

because are you ever truly alone when youre on the internet?

its as scary a though as it is a calming one, and while i do think the internet is (for the most part) dead, its still nice to see other peoples puttering about in their own niches.

idk. just my evening thoughts

of more thoughts. I'm not sure the guy i like likes me that much. He seems plenty interested in me, but i just don't know if its in that way. my friends say yes, but i dont want to jump the gun and ruin things. we were friends before this and i'd hate to not go back to it afterwards.

we're going to hang out tomorrow. he got an invite from a friend to go somewhere also and he said if i wanted to come along i could but if not he wouldnt go. i said no and if he wanted to he could still go, i didnt want to be the reason he missed out on anything, and he said it was okay because he could always go later in the day.

i know that was objectively a good answer, i'm not sure i should expect anything more, but i'm always looking for someone to say "no! you're enough for me! if you don't want to, we won't go, together". which is an extremely selfish thought.

one of my biggest flaws is my selfishness i feel. i always want more than i've got, and feel empty without it. I know thats ridiculous, i'm working on it. We'll hang out tomorrow and i'll enjoy it. He's going to introduce me to his cats. Or cat, because one of them is shy and may not want to say hi.

i'm talking to him now, prying into his personal life. i want to know if he has a boyfriend. i feel like he does? i don't know though. i started writing this as a distraction so i wouldn't just do nothing in anticipation of his attention. really i don't know if this is a crush or craving closeness. i like to think i've gotten better at being by myself, and being alone. but there are still loads of times i crave closeness with someone. sometimes that can't be helped. but i've felt like this for a few months, longer than those relapses into selfish want usually last. but then again, i don't even know if he likes me back. we'll see i suppose.

i've been thinking a lot about the pools i used to go to as a kid. there are two, i drove by one today.

the outdoor one was smaller, it has a diving board, and its got this giant shower right near the entrance, as well as showers in both washrooms. they've got grassy areas for you to lay out your towels and stuff, but they've also got a massive greenspace that holds the toddler pool (a small hole in the ground that holds maybe a half a foot of water. i used to lay in it and stare up at the sky in it. just enough water i was always wet but i didn't have to put in the energy to float). for whatever reason they just won't connect that area to the main pool. one time my brother drank too much water and threw up there. he had had a massive mix of soft drinks at the airport earlier that day before my dad had landed in from a flight. at least i think those were on the same days, because i think thats part of why he was sick. i remember trying to touch the bottom of the deep end, near the diving board, and i remember jumping off the board. it was so daunting as a kid, but when i went back a few years ago, it seemed like barely a hop. i remember going there with my childhood bestfriend (someone i no longer talk to) and i remember burning my feet on the hot concrete running back and forth ignoring the no running signs. i remember getting sleepy and insisting on my mom to cuddle in the water. i always felt safe there. i could crawl right in her lap and the water was like a big blanket. i wish she had held me more in there. i remember playing mermaids and all the other typical kid things there. its a happy memory for me

the indoor one was much bigger, they had lanes and more fun splash pads and a slide. i remember how the stairs felt all cold and grimy and sandy as i jogged up them. my legs always hurt after it, but i had fun. the showers here were massive. for some reason old women would get absolutely butt naked there. it was only one wrong 90* turn to see ten fully naked grandmas lathering up in the pink soap out of the wall dispensers. i'm not even sure they ever even went in the pool. i remember a birthday party my other and much older childhood bestfriend had there. i got a little chihuahua toy as a party favor, and i slept with him every night for ages and ages. i remember playing there with my friends all the time, but it was never the outside pool. games there could be more fun, there was much more space, but there was always such a lack of natural lighting. either way, its also a happy memory for me

regardless of the pool, i always remember the showers. i had this habit of bringing the little hotel shampoo and conditioners to these things and showering fully with them. i don't know why i did that, i suppose i thought if i was going to shower i should do it properly instead of just a rinse. i'm sure nowadays i wouldn't care, but it was a whole procedure for me. i had to do it otherwise the pool day wasn't complete, and otherwise i felt sick

i have a lot of weird procedures like that, though. i guess thats normal for me. i like them, i don't find them harmful, i don't mind indulging them. i don't see why some people think its a bad thing. some people just like to keep organized, thats not a crime is it?

either way. i'm going to bed now, he's not dating anyone. i relapsed earlier again. i look forward to seeing him tomorrow. i hope hes interested in me. i don't plan on making any moves until i can see him in person and maybe reassess his feelings to me, but for now i'm just excited to leave my house for the first time in a week and actually see other people. i'm stoked.

[sysmedsaresexist]

I really debated this, but I want to jump in and give you some pointers and info before a certain someone else does.

This is a bad post.

Point blank.

From the biggest tumblr anti endo to you, you're doing more harm than good.

It took me WAY too long to come to some of these realizations, so hopefully you'll listen.

Let me start with: I am against shared language and spaces. Endogenic systems and CDD systems are experiencing something totally different and incomparable.

Yes, there are endogenic systems that claim to have DID and those that say it's not a trauma disorder, but even most pro/endos will correct that when they see it. It's honestly a small minority, and you're better off spreading respectful, accurate information on CDDs in all tags.

What they ARE claiming, and what you WILL find is supported in clinical settings, is that it is possible to experience and express yourself through a lens of multiplicity. Again, this is something totally different, bordering on philosophy.

This used to bug me, too, but as someone active in clinical circles with access to university libraries, it's not as scary as it sounds. I promise, clinicians don't think it's the same thing as DID.

Stealing terms? You can't just say that, and think really hard before you make your post about it. You'll be disappointed and embarrassed to find that most of the terms you think were stolen, actually weren't. Yeah. We were wrong, bud. Don't learn the hard way like I did.

Point is, many terms that are used by CDD systems and DO properly belong to us, are not used by endos.

Moving along, I'll get to the card at the end.

Dissociation is not only trauma based. Dissociation as a mechanism exists on a continuum of nonpathological to pathological. Daydreaming, hypnosis, meditation-- all forms of dissociation, and not based solely in trauma. Everyone dissociates to some degree. Watch how you say things or your entire post is in the trash.

Your sources are SHIT. Peer reviewed, academic information is not hard to find, you just don't know how to look for it yet. Do NOT imply that research is scarce or hard to come by. Webmd, psych central, mind.org, didresearch, traumadissociation-- these are terrible, inaccurate, and unreliable (even though they often contain good info, it doesn't stand a chance in a debate and is more likely to be inaccurate). Did research is a blog made by a tumblr blogger that has many mistakes on it, and it's not maintained like it was. The people you're quoting aren't doctors. These sites aren't recent, webmd was UPDATED in 2023, not created then, and their review team probably isn't specialized in DDs. Use this site or this one to look for credible research. Train yourself to find equally credible work.

Every single quote you've used isn't firm, so it's not proving your point. "Usually", "associated with," find the doctors that say the good shit-- like that DID is posttraumatic.

You'll learn better key words as you go to find better articles.

I agree with what you say about religious beliefs, but hold those thoughts, the Stanford tulpa study is coming out soon. Yes, Stanford. It's an fmri study and I can't wait to see it so we can put to rest that it's not the same as DID. But I've seen the preliminary research, it showed something.

I firmly believe that mixed origin systems are often CDD systems struggling with denial. Be fucking nice to people, trust me, no one wants to listen to someone that's rude. I alienated the vast majority of pro/endos and now my posts have less reach and less effect. If you actually want to make a difference, you have to be able to talk to people. Otherwise, you're just on here being an asshat for clout. Other antis already know all this, so who's your audience?

Anyways, yeah, DID is only caused by trauma, but again, you're going to get REALLY tired of hearing that endos don't claim to have DID, so trust me, just move on to the next argument, save yourself the stress. There are better things to debate and argue.

On giving yourself alters, please remember that many, many traumatized people fight to feel like they're in control of their lives. Telling themselves that they chose this and convincing themselves it was conscious might be the only way they survive a hard situation. Be kind, most of these people are not in any position to start their healing journey, usually because they're minors. Hostility isn't going to help them come around.

On LGBTQ-- the intersection of multiplicity/plurality/systemhood is HUGE, even for DID systems. You won't see this in only endo spaces, this is a legitimate conversation that should happen. You need to be very clear about what you're complaining about. I get it, the idea that it's an identity that you can pick up and put on. But you'll learn that it's really not that... deep? The conversations are real, and productive, and actually very important.

If you actually read the book transgender mental health by yarbrough, you'll see what I mean. The university of Colorado just had a seminar about plurality and sexuality. I didn't like it, but I like what it means for systems looking to transition or explore gender and sexuality. Point is, yes, this is happening, and we need to put on our big boy pants and get with the times. You're way behind in this fight.

The DSM doesn't say anything like that about DID and CSA, if you need a copy, tell me and I'll give you a link. The DSM doesn't list trauma as a criteria because of amnesia. How can you prove amnesia if you often don't even know you have it? No one would be diagnosed. DID isn't listed under trauma and stressor related disorders, because TSRDs are new to the DSM 5 and contain diagnoses with no specific groupings of symptoms, whereas DID is dissociation based, so they moved the whole damn DD section just so they were next to TSRDs.

The entry for DID talks for pages about trauma, but what you're saying just... isn't in there. And you'll get blasted for it. You need to be prepared with arguments like above.

Sources about endogenic plurality are actually very recent, don't get caught with claims like that. Yes, the sources are real. Yes, they are peer reviewed. Yes, the journals that published them are reputable.

You need to come to terms with this very quickly, or you're going to be blindsided.

In regards to the ToSD, I fully 100% support it, but it's got flaws and you need to read up on it. Again, don't get blindsided. Talk instead about the brain scans that show the ToSD in action, talk instead about what it REALLY means when it talks about action systems in children.

So let's look at the card, finally.

Okay, I lied, there's less in there than I thought, and there's no sources at all??? Bro.

Anyways... this post isn't making any of us look good.

Do better, please.

Goddamn I'm so tired.

Endos / endogenics and why they aren't valid :

We've made posts on this before but we decided it might be good to make one big post to link to for when / if anyone asks again. We tried to cover everything we could in this post but we'll likely be making other posts similar to this later on.

So what are endos? Endos or endogenics are people who claim to have DID/OSDD without trauma or claim to have alters / be a system without having DID/OSDD.

Why is this bad? This is misinformation because as far as science knows DID/OSDD is a trauma based disorder (specifically caused by trauma in early childhood, which is speculated to be 1-9 / 1-12 years old) and your brain would not split / create alters without reason. You cannot have alters without having a disorder, this is common sense as it's not normal to have alters. To add onto this endos also take over our communities and steal our terms. (We'll make a post with further information on that in the future).

There is also a carrd that explains why endos are bad and debunks a few myths if anyone is interested in it! If not continue reading

Why can't you have DID/OSDD or alters without trauma? As far as science knows DID/OSDD is a trauma disorder and in order to have alters in the first place you require dissociation, which is also a trauma response. Here are tons of medically reviewed sources that say this:

“ They suggest that DID is caused by experiencing severe trauma over a long time in childhood. By experiencing trauma in childhood, you take on different identities and behaviours to protect yourself. As you grow up these behaviours become more fully formed until it looks like you have different identities ” — rethink.org

“ Dissociative identity disorder (DID), previously known as multiple personality disorder, is a complex psychological condition caused by many things. These include severe trauma during early childhood (usually extreme, repetitive physical, sexual, or emotional abuse). It's also known as split personality disorder. ” — webMD

“ DID is usually associated with adverse experiences in someone’s past and traumatic memories. ” & “ Dissociation — a major part of DID — is a defense mechanism the body uses to reduce your awareness during overwhelming trauma ” — pysch central

“ DID is associated with long-term exposure to trauma, often chronic traumatic experiences during early childhood. ” & “ Dissociation—or disconnection from one’s sense of self or environment—can be a response to trauma. It can happen during a single-incident, traumatic event (e.g., an assault, a natural disaster, or a motor vehicle accident), or during ongoing trauma (e.g., wartime; chronic childhood abuse). ” — mcleanhospital.org

“ Dissociative disorders often develop as a way to deal with a catastrophic event or with long-term stress, abuse or trauma. This is particularly true if such events take place early in childhood. At this time of life, there are limitations to your ability to fully understand what’s happening. In addition, your coping mechanisms aren’t fully developed and getting support and resources depends on the presence of caring and knowledgeable adults. ” — my.clevelandclinic.org

“ There are many possible causes of dissociative disorders, including previous traumatic experience. ” & “ Switching off from reality is a normal defence mechanism that helps the person cope during a traumatic time. ” — nhs.uk

“ Dissociative identity disorder is the result of a natural way of coping with childhood trauma. Our page on the causes of dissociative disorders has more information. ” & “ Dissociation is a natural response to trauma while it's happening. But some of us may still experience dissociation long after the traumatic event has finished. Past experiences of dissociation during traumatic events may mean that you haven't processed these experiences fully. ” — mind.org (two links since they're two different pages)

“ Dissociative disorders usually start as a way to cope with shocking, distressing or painful events. The disorders most often form in children who go through long-term physical, sexual or emotional abuse. Less often, the disorders form in children who've lived in a home where they went through frightening times or they never knew what to expect. The stress of war or natural disasters also can bring on dissociative disorders. When you go through an event that's too much to handle emotionally, you may feel like you're stepping outside of yourself and seeing the event as if it's happening to another person. Mentally escaping in this way may help you get through a shocking, distressing or painful time. ” — mayoclinic.org

Most of these sources are pretty recent too, with the most recent one being made in September 2023 (webMD)

What about religious beliefs / tuplamacy? First people are not required to believe or participate in your religious beliefs (and religious beliefs are not exempt from criticism) and second tuplamacy is a closed Buddhist practice that has nothing to do with being a system and should not be compared to being a system nor should it be included / involved in system communities. Note that the DSM-V also says that in order to have DID; "The disturbance is not a normal part of a broadly accepted cultural or religious practice." <- this does not mean it's possible to have alters due to a religious thing, if anything it says they cannot be counted as alters / as a system.

To add on, no you cannot pray to be a system or transition into being a system. If you were to pray and one day magically become a system you are either in denial or you've convinced yourself you're something you're not. Believing you can be a system without trauma or that you can become a system by praying is like believing you can get autism from vaccines or drinking too much dairy milk, that's just not how it works.

What about mixed origin systems? Mixed origin systems are not a thing. DID/OSDD forms purely from trauma, you can't form from a mix of trauma and not trauma, that's not how it works. If you identify as mixed origin you are likely in denial and really need to come to terms with the fact that you are either traumatized or you're not a system at all.

What about other kinds of origins? Other origins like "willowgenic" and all that bullshit? Yeah no, same thing as endos, not possible. Look above for all the proof you need, DID/OSDD is only caused by trauma. Traumagenic is the only valid origin.

But I gave myself DID! / But I created my own alters! No you didn't. That isn't possible, you cannot turn yourself into a DID/OSDD system and creating alters is a coping mechanism, not something you do for fun, sources on this;

“ DID Isn't Something You Can Give Yourself on Purpose. Having DID was not a conscious decision those of us with the disorder made when we were children. Dissociative identity disorder is not a selective disorder, meaning you cannot decide that you want to develop this brilliant coping mechanism and then you have it. ” — healthyplace

“ In any case, additional alters are usually the result of extreme stress. The mind does not like to be fractured even when an individual already has DID or OSDD-1. Many individuals cannot split unless a split is strictly necessary for their protection, functioning, or ability to remain hidden as a system. That said, there are exceptions. Some individuals may become so used to using splitting as a coping mechanism that they may split easily in response to seemingly minor stressors. ” — didresearch.org

Isn't being a system like the same as being trans or being LGBTQ? No, many endos compared the two but they are completely different. Being LGBTQ is an identity, it's something you are born as. Being a system is a debilitating disorder caused by severe trauma, it is counted as a disability which is;

“ 'A person has a disability if: They have a physical or mental impairment, and the impairment has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on the person's ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities.' ” — gmc.org

The reason DID would be counted as a disability is that;

“ Having a dissociative disorder can affect your ability to keep a full-time job, especially one with work stresses, which can worsen your symptoms. ” — disabilitysecrets

And the DSM-V criteria literally says;

“ The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning ” — traumadissociation

But the DSM-V says that trauma isn't required! No, the DSM-V actually says CSA isn't required, there are other forms of trauma that don't involve CSA or child abuse. To act as if it saying that the trauma isn't always CSA or child abuse means that it doesn't require trauma at all is extremely invalidating to those who are traumatized in ways that don't involve child abuse or CSA.

But this source claims endos exist / DID doesn't require trauma! Most of those sources are extremely old and / or made by endos (or pro endos) themselves. (We'll make a more in-depth post on this topic some other time, but for now this is all we have to say on it)

But we don't know everything about the human brain! You're right, we don't. The brain is mysterious, but we do know enough to know that it doesn't do these kinds of things for no reason. We know the brain reacts to trauma and we know what the difference between a normal brain and a disordered brain is. Just because we don't know everything doesn't give people an excuse to jump to conclusions and spread misinformation. It is better to stick to what science currently knows which is the theory of structural dissociation, which is the current theory about how DID/OSDD forms, and so far no one has been able to disprove it. And before someone says it, no it is not only a theory, it is a scientific theory which is;

“ A theory is a well-substantiated explanation of an aspect of the natural world that can incorporate laws, hypotheses and facts. The theory of gravitation, for instance, explains why apples fall from trees and astronauts float in space. Similarly, the theory of evolution explains why so many plants and animals—some very similar and some very different—exist on Earth now and in the past, as revealed by the fossil record. ” — amnh.org

And to add on;

“ Scientists develop theories to explain the natural world and to advance scientific knowledge. A theory is the highest level of explanation in science. Some features of scientific theories are that they: have been thoroughly tested over an extended period, provide accurate explanations and, predictions for a wide range of phenomena, are widely accepted by the scientific community, demonstrate strong experimental and observational support ” — study.com

[2-curious-cups]

29th of October, 2023

Hey av,

I’ll just start calling you like that since you „signed“ your last text here like that. I wondered already for a longer time if you actually want me to call you with a nick name, but somehow im uneasy with applying nicknames when i hear them from friends (like ale from zoi) bc then I always feel like im stealing something, life if it were somehow awkward to use it as well. Now I got an invitation to use it which makes it feel right.

When you sended me this blog the other day I was feeling quite overwhelmed. I couldn’t really tell what I think about it and what it means. So I decided to sit with it until I feel like I’ve made my mind up. Day by day that passed I felt like saying sorry for not being able to respond yet, and day by day I told myself, that this reaction would play into the tennis match that you want to avoid. So I’m not saying sorry. But thank you for that super cool medium!!! I actually love the idea of having somehow an online diary that we share with each other. Where can just narrate on our own, remember on our own, associate on our own, but also can of course respond to each other. I think it’s fun, it’s a new experience, it’s playful and a vivid archiv to look back on you and me and the world. On the other hand, I’m also afraid of what this shared medium that I don’t have with anybody else could create as meaning for our bonding. 

These days feel somehow pale. Uni started again and as always I’m a bit too absorbed by my feelings of not belonging. Not belonging to that sphere of academia but also to that group of people. I’m dreaming again about people from uni letting me now that im stupid and pathetic (the other day it was the german guy stefan, if you remember him lel). Some days like today, I feel the fear very intensely in my body. I’m longing to run away from social interactions, my body and my mind freezes. Yet, generally on most days I feel like I’m better than usual to convince myself of the fact that it’s just a matter of time, until I’ll feel like I’ve arrived here again after the summer pause and that we all know and share feelings like that. 

And then there is the war. As u can imagine the intensity of the discourse about it is also represented in uni. People with palestinian and arabic background position themselves quite openly and clear. Words like genozid are being dropped in combination of german responsibility. It has not been taking much time quantity wise, but If it comes up it’s quite intense. Of course. I feel like we are laking a space where we can together discuss about it as the main topic and not relating to it and then dropping very emotionalized comments. But of course it’s emotionalized how could it not. I’m rambling and I feel lost with my emotions of being overwhelmed and immensely sad, not sad enough and not helping, not knowing if I want to go to a demonstration for the palestinians, how much that would hurt my israelian friends, how much information my opinion is lacking, to what extend we all need to get rid of the dimensions good and bad, right and wrong, how my mind should be able to explain happenings by history but not justifying at the same time (I feel like thats a rethorical figure that is almost impossible: how can you try to understand in what circumstances people think and feel and desire without inherently being a justicifation?). What does it mean for my active behavior to not stand finally with one or the other side, but stand for peace and not answering violence with violence? I feel lost and i feel I’m lacking ability rn to talk about it in a way that gives me comfort. But on the other hand, we all need to sit in discomfort with it. 

The last week I was hosting Mira which was very nice. I started a pole dance class. I love the idea of jumping and flying around the pole, even though I look like a clumsy monkey still. It will eventually get better - looking forward to the day when my body learned the new movements and it actually feels like dancing. The other day Lotti folded her hand into my hand when I left her and I felt very moved by that, I really wonder how that relationship will develop. I need to leave now for uni. And then the weekend is calling and I’ll be occupied by a party here a party there and uni in between. I’m already looking forward to be a bit tipsy and having fun while smoking :p

Kisses, Aline