#how does it feel having true love
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Also nonconsent/coercion/power imbalance doesn’t have to be sexual but I don’t ever see ppl argue about that in fiction 😶
#jessisayo btw#how does it feel having true love#also Erika/dlanor#which is not even like. a ship really? it’s ange’s metaphorical confession booth breakdown muttering to her self#still compelling though!#also br@x and everyone in the collection and rom@na#he meant well but#:(#just because the love is real doesn't mean it's not ugly
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The dog days are over.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#The childhood flashback is one of my favourite scenes in MDZS and yes I am disapointing myself in how little I am covering it.#If it is any consolation...I'll be bringing JYL's piggyback scene into another comic later on.#There truly is something so specific and yet resonant in the way our bonds as children feel so deep.#But the world doesn't stay as small as it does when you are a kid. The problems you argue about get bigger and more serious.#You still hold so much love for this person despite how much you want to throw hands with them.#To have such a complicated history with someone and then fall apart...You always think you have time to heal the wound.#Why wouldn't you! You've never had anything but time with this person. A brother not in blood but in true and genuine bond.#And then the fucker dies! It's horrible and sudden and the last words you exchanged were cold and awful!#What do you do with those dead end feelings? What do you do but grieve bitterly and angrily?#There is no resolution for all the love you wanted back. There will never be an opportunity to bridge the gap between you.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. Because you thought you had more time.#If anyone dares say Jiang Cheng didn't love WWX I'll be the first to fire up the powerpoint presentation on why he absolutely does.
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Vettonso complaining about each other not respecting schrondinger's track limits on the radio compilation + Seb's commentary that made me a bit feral
Must include these sexy ass pics okay, it makes me feral how hard they race each other.
Also SO upset that we got this vid and there's also pictures(and presumably a vid out there somewhere) of Fernando, back then, ALSO debriefing this race. And yet we never got them together?????? Evil. Fucked up.
Imagine seeing them complaining about each other but also having to (begrudgingly if you're Fernando) compliment each other IN FRONT of each other. Maybe its a good thing it doesn't exist, bcs then I'd have a heart attack.
#this is just a supercut of the f1 vid in the source so you should watch that as well :)#thank you boo to inadvertently pointing me towards this moment cause man it makes me insane#like the added context of knowing seb was just being bratty cause he KNEW fernando was heated on the radio is SO funny#fernando's radios....actually so feral#'give back the position IMMEDIATELY'#fernando i dont have the position but i will do my best to give it to you anyways#grrrrrrr theres smth about getting to see seb discuss such a vettonso hard racing moment#he clearly respects him 🥹#but even years on you can tell hes SO pleased abt how much he was irritating fernando#this is the kinda clip that makes me wish f1 had proximity chat#them both on the radio like 'does that idiot EVEN know what hes doing'#also the annoying confidence of seb on the radio saying its fernando's fault if he gets a punctuee#and not even mentioning the fact that he could get a puncture 😭#but again. to hear him complimenting Fernando really kills me#just about his spacial awareness and how seb feels like he can always race him to the limit bcs he TRUSTS him#like that is the true f1 romance to me. racing someone hard and complaining on the radio but +#admitting that you never rly felt in danger bcs you TRUST the other driver!!!!!!!#i love sassy angry radios. they both sound so........yeah. im unwell#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#we do a little bit of f1#2014 british gp#vettonso
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kiryuu sibling stasis post-32 is so interesting to me. nanami tries to leave and is (temporarily but also, crucially, violently) prevented from doing so by touga and akio. after this experience she puts distance between herself and them: she leaves touga’s phone in the car, she resigns from the student council (though she dons her old uniform still), she repeatedly dismisses and undermines the authority of the rose code, of end of the world, of akio, of touga. but she’s still in ohtori, isn’t she? uncomfortable with the idea of leaving, uncertain if it’s really possible. she tried before, and it hurt her. deeply. it’s so interesting to me, nanami’s agency and how she limits her exertion of it after 32, when she realises it for what it is. contrast that with touga, who accepts this weird stalemate between them, who is, really, uninterested in having any relationship of any kind with nanami if he can’t gain something from her. he’s very passive with her after 32, compared to the passivity he’d always feigned towards her before in order to stoke reactions from her and then exploit them. i was thinking about how touga has always been able to sever his relationship with nanami, but chosen not to; first out of a sense of obligation (‘we should live to help each other’) then a realisation of how that could be exploited. i was thinking about how nanami has never realised her ability to leave, in part because it is limited by touga and the harm he does her. i was thinking about the desperation and confusion akio calls out to anthy with as she leaves. i was thinking about how different that is to the kiryuus’ strange semi-breakdown; touga doesn’t want or need nanami, and nanami might love her brother but she cannot trust him or feel safe around him, doesn’t want to see him anymore; she’s itching to leave, and just a little scared (you know, because last time she tried that her brother assaulted her), and he’s not doing anything because ignoring her means he doesn’t have to deal with the emotions of her leaving or staying. something something gendered power dynamics something something tragic siblings
#local kiryuu sibling enjoyer has thoughts about them#i wrote this like three days ago but it’s getting posted now i have to speak my truth#touga loves a bit of inaction#nanami doesn’t but what the fuck else is she gonna do?? be brave? she tried that already#and she WILL try it again and i don’t think touga will try particularly hard to stop her#i think he might try a little but in doing so he’ll just become more aware of how much he doesn’t want to do that#and is only doing it bc of a vague sense of obligation to a perspective on life that he’s already questioned a la utena#im just. i have so many feelings about them. i bet none of you were aware of that fact already#i am once again wondering: does touga love nanami? what does that mean for each of them?#and im concluding: i really don’t think he does#i think he’s felt obligation to her and turned bitter towards that emotion and her in turn#i think he has no idea how to feel about her so he ignores the problem and exploits HER feelings as he thinks he understands them#until he realises that he doesn’t and has to deal (a little bit) with the ramifications of that#touga and anthy when nanami makes them self reflect. or swagever. the 32 way. neither of them would ever admit this but it’s true#dais.txt#her tragedy her triumph
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I rarely take pictures anymore. It’s like I just don’t want to remember any moment from this part of my life lol
#me#mine#girls with tattoos#myself#girls with glasses#girls with piercings#fairy aesthetic#fairycore#you know I come on here or I look through Snapchat memories#and even at my saddest I did not know or understand real pain#now that I do I feel so different#so old and so worn out#I feel like all the color has drained from my being#I’m not even a person anymore#I have horrid ptsd now#the only way I can really hangout with my dad is to play iPhone chess bc he’s sitting in a fucking hospital bed#oh god it all hurts so bad to think about#it makes me want to throw up#I miss who I was three years ago before all the pain#how does someone even come back from all of this#how do I see the things I’ve seen and lose what’s I’ve lost and move on to live a normal life#I had seemed to learn every life lesson the hard way and always fall in love with the wrong ppl#I had a very tough time loving myself which is still true#but that was all stuff like I could live with and grow from#this is just a deep set pain idk
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pecco rant please please
*spins wheel on possible topics* absurdly underrated but in a dumb way. you'd think you can stumble your way into two premier class titles. I don't care he's on the best bike - let's be honest, how often this century have the title winners not been on the best bike? 2004 and to a lesser extent 2005 you can say clearly weaker bike, 2007 late 2010s 2021 there's a clear enough disparity with anyone else riding the bike that you can say clearly the rider is making the difference/it's an unrideable wreck one guy is making respectable, then there's a few seasons where it's at least very close whose machinery is best or they're fighting with people on equal equipment, which pecco has done! but generally speaking, good/promising riders end up on good bikes and then they win. that's how the game works!
the thing about 2022 is that it had such a massive mid-season swing that overhauling a ninety something point margin cannot come down to any single factor. is it fair to say fabio lost that title? on balance, it's a bit harsh - yes, there were a few too many errors post-sachsenring, yes, some were driven by desperation, but also you can't really expect anyone to ride a flawless season. but pecco did win that title as much as yamaha lost it. I don't care if you're riding a literal rocketship with two wheels, you can't win four races in a row if you're not extremely good at what you do! if we're saying that title was worth less because the yamaha turned to shit in the second half of the season, then let's keep going. let's put an asterisk next to 2013 because jorge and dani both got injured (let's not even get into the 'if marc hadn't been injured' asterisks because that's where you get into truly silly territory). is 2006 not a legit title because of all the bad luck valentino faced that year? let's say all titles between 2007 to 2015 were worth less because at any one time only 4-6 bikes had a realistic chance of winning races. throw out any title before 2009 because they were constantly fucking about with the tyres and there wasn't a level playing field. if you're motivated enough, you can play this game with basically anything, but it's dumb and pointless because that's not how sports works! you can only win against whoever you're facing. it has always been thus and it will always be thus
it's narratively fun and juicy that pecco has these insecurities himself - but within the context of everyone else doing discourse over it, the whole thing is massively overblown! linked to some of the worst sports discourse about how much people love to disparage late bloomers, because they need every single successful athlete to fit the same mould of the ultra-talented wunderkind, apparently. it's more interesting when it's not always the most 'talented' (whatever tf that means), naturally gifted, *fast the second he touches a bike* bloke who wins. sometimes they have to work hard for it, sometimes they have to improve themselves year on year and be smart about how they do it, sometimes they have to be in the right place and right time, sometimes they have to be very lucky. sports is all about competition, and competition is all about contrast. it's a contrast that can be generated in a whole lot of ways, and in fairness to motogp they have come up with a bunch of interesting narratively tense contests that don't rely on a massive fundamental 'talent' differential - but at the end of the day, that's one of the best ones you can have! the more ways you can have to win in any given sport, the better, both in the literal sense of how you go about the actual process of winning and how you even become a winner. none of this means that pecco isn't very very good, it means he got there in a different way than every other multiple champ this century has. it fundamentally flattens the sport if you want every top-level competitor to be an alien-level talent... one of the best things about this current era is that it has given us something new and exciting in that regard, where you well and truly believe some very different blokes might have what it takes to eventually be champion
anyway, pecco is absurdly adept at digging himself into holes and absurdly adept at digging himself out of them. he's one of the worst frontrunners imaginable in every sense, biologically incapable of dominating without at least a perpetual hint of jeopardy, both in the context of a race and a season. but when his back is against the wall, somehow he keeps finding performances you never imagined he was capable of. his mixed up and slightly odd skillset, his strengths and weaknesses, how he's better and worse than he has any right to be... all of it lends itself to perpetual momentum shifts and thrilling seasons - because you never quite know what you're going to get. love him or hate him, he's a gift to the overall competitive landscape! god knows the racing hasn't been much to write home about these last few years (though, yes, we did have a good little run this season), but somehow he's managed to get himself involved in two out of the six title deciders this century back-to-back. is that not the dream for the viewer, to have a bloke at the top of the sport with a little self-combust chip in his head every time he builds too much of an advantage? build a hundred of those guys! throw a marc marquez at him and see what he does! I can't wait to see what he'll come up with next
#this is a rant in the truest sense of the word that i didn't structure or edit this and wrote it in one go#to be clear this is ZERO comment on people vibing or not vibing with him as a human being. idc!! this is about competition!!#i've accidentally ended up in a place with this sport where i HAPPEN to like some absurdly talented freaks#who were disgustingly dominant. which means i have now stumbled into a fan space filled with people who are really into dominance#not my vibe!! at all!! two of my favourite valentino seasons are 2006 and 2015. 2015 is also one of my fave marc seasons#not gonna say what my fave casey seasons are bc it feels a bit like kicking a puppy when it's down but well it's not the title winning ones#want marc to suffer a normal amount!! it's all about putting these guys in situations... if you're just talented and successful who CAREEES#i loveeeeeee athletes who self sabotage..... love how for pecco building confidence is really a Project like it isn't natural!!#and good lord don't get me about team orders discourse. you'd think he had seven ducati riders holding his hands#a little bit of corruption is good sometimes... adds narrative spice#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#'loves 2006 and heart rate easily clears 100 every time marc marquez does anything in a race' perhaps the world's worst rossi fan?#reverse is true too tbf but at least that contradiction feels fundamental to the full marc marquez experience#current tag
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a bit ago i told myself i wouldn't ship prudence and odette (idk why I guess I hate fun) but the truth is odette looooooooooooooooooooooooves a mean woman and prudence/odette feels like poking a bruise and i'm very into it !!!!
(also I think they look!!! so good together!!!) this is only in the WoL/Scion AU (and others) because 1) they have to be forced together to become anything they are not women who would willingly spend time with each other (at first)(But not in a like enemies to lovers kinda way you know??? they don't care enough to be enemies)(it's more like reluctant coworkers to ??????)
2) RP wise I always have more fun writing slow burn romances with other people than playing barbies on my own, but i have really been enjoying playing barbies on my own with these two.................
3) in RP Odette is dating Pru's boss and so Pru is like 'fuck this noise i'm out' she does not get close to her bosses lovers (except when she needs a ride thanks captain) and truly they just would not understand one another in this setting !!! (also pru is lowkey with ibant but if you say anything about this she will cause harm with great purpose)
#ooc#this post serves no purpose i've just been rotating them in my mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#selenite/Sulfur and odette/prudence ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#odette DOES love mean women...........#and man thinking about how odette mourns for minfilia up to endwalker and a little bit into it tbh#and how starkly different prudence is to minfilia#and how maybe that feels good because it's not like she's replacing her first love (AHHHH)#but at the core the same thing rings true: odette feels safe with her#like yeah Prudence does NOT have a handle on her vices or her anger but so often she uses the one to sharpen the other#and wields her sharp tongue against those that would take advantage of Odette#and odette's whole thing being to love people where they are means that she makes no demands of prudence#prudence does not have to be good !!!!#she does not need to change for Odette and in that freedom she finally has the safe place to change#it takes a long time !! and she is still mean and bitter and smokes too much#but maybe she lets some walls down and maybe her meanness softens to teasing slowly slowly slowly#anyway happy saturday
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I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way
#a little creature#sometimes i look at the way i want marcille to be the closest thing hes ever had to a girlfriend but in a 100% platonic way and im like#is this what they mean by queerplatonic or have i just never had a dude best friend who wasnt like. a super fruity gay twink#anyway its gonna be as hard on him as it is for us bc he loves them both so much#the most important women in his life bar none#marcille probably slapped him when she got back tho. like she just saw his face and all the misdirected anger at him 'taking falin' just#rose up and burst again#its ok tho. you know she immediately broke down crying in his arms again blubbering incoherently bc she felt bad but also shes still mad#and she just doesnt know what to do with herself#the hardest part about this fic is that like. there are SO many juicy things going on offscreen#but. i have to breathe deep and keep calm and let them happen out of falin's POV#the ryoko kui method. what happens in the story happens and what happens outside can be explored in extras if need be#edit: also just figured out why ive been chafing a *little* bit against ppl assuming that it's the fear of falin dying that motivated#marcille's denial of her feelings so far#bc it's technically true but something just didn't sit right and i didn't wanna say anything until i figured it out#in little creature she has in part already realized that falin's passing is going to hurt no matter what she does right now#bc she's already passed the threshold of preemptive grief and sealed her own fate by how much she cares about falin#so it's not really... about that as much as it would have been during the canon story#it's just that. to acknowledge that she has romantic feelings for falin means recontextualizing their relationship in a way where#she has been the one hopelessly chasing while falin didn't realize/ignored her for the most part#and she couldnt allow that to be true both bc she couldnt bear to make falin the 'villain' in her love story#and bc she subconsciously knew the scope of pain would be too much for her to handle#so now my problem is. how do i make that clear in the fic from falin's POV without getting too heavy handed about it
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one of my favorite things about getting older is that I’m just more sure and more confident in taking control in social situations and making other people feel at ease. I really love it!
#have always wanted to be good at it but it takes time#at least for me#my mom was describing one of her college friends to me the other day#and she goes ‘yeah she was kind of like you. personable and direct and kind.#‘and she was always going to deal with you (positive) instead of ignoring you’#honestly compliment of all time! because it does not come totally naturally to me#and there’s a lot that gets in my way—shyness anxiety a certain stiffness#but I love when i can feel it sort of giving way#anyway just rambling#also once again teaching has helped with this so much#because kids HAVE to be guided through a social situation. they don’t know what to do#and if I let them run it it’s always stupid#so just taking control asking the questions kind of —situating them so we can have a moment and then I can dismiss them#not that I do the same with adults lol. but works more often than you think#just having some direction and taking charge of a social interaction#I remember this comedian once saying he loved when someone took control in a social situation re: greetings/handshakes/hugs#like ‘oh thank goodness someone is figuring this out’ it’s so true and so funny skskdkdjd#I hope there is nothing peremptory about it! but I often find I’m so much ruder by doing nothing#than by being proactively kind and (hopefully) appropriate to the occasion#you know I’ve spoken on it before but my life really changed#when I made myself go back and say goodbye to my students after graduation my second year teaching#like. I literally ran away because I was so shy and it felt so awkward and no one was taking charge of how to do it#and the students wouldn’t (can’t) so it felt like they didn’t want to#and then I realized no—if someone is going to take the lead here it has to be me#and then I did! and there was in fact so much love waiting for me#people just don’t know how to show it#so you have to give them an opportunity#this is so many thoughts but I feel this sooooo much and I care about it so much
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not me listening to SNOWFLAKES on loop cuz it's low-key my favorite p4 song and realizing the lyrics like perfectly encompass yu's feelings about inaba and his friends and having to leave.
LOOK AT THIS SHIT. UGHHHHHH. THE PAIN OF HAVING MEDIA COMPREHENSION SKILLS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
#puppy rambles#persona 4#p4#yu narukami#investigation team#literally only the first two lines are purely about winter-#the rest of it is yu's feelings about having to leave his friends and how much he loves it in inaba#:((( /pos#the “this friendship it was built to last line” is what really gets me tbh. and the “treasured place” which is obviously inaba#possibly the junes food court specifically#also similarly heartbeat‚ heartbreak is seemingly meant to be reflecting yu's feelings about adachi being the killer#idk how your affection fits into this at all if it does#not overworld songs but reach out to the truth is just about p4's themes. same with pursuing my true self#and i assume shadow world but idk the lyrics#heaven is nanako's feelings after her mom's death. being alone so often and whatnot#and time to make history is. there i guess? it's good but i don't think it really reflects a lot of stuff in its lyrics-#i prefer reach out to the truth cuz of that. and just cuz it bops esp the second half in the reincarnation version#there might be something i'm missing with it and your affection though the lyrics don't really feel like they fit but. might be missing smth#admittedly not always great at more implied stuff. autism 😔
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Finally catching up on the Horizons episodes I missed 👍
#fluff binges !!!#I've missed out this one and the one from last week that I'll watch once I settle my work for tonight--mainly due from a whirlwind on my en#even if it were just for two weeks I missed these sillies sm 🥺🥺🥺#Diana was finna gonna murder that man you gotta respect that#I think I saw online that not that many people liked this episode because of the main concern that Friede usually saves the day#I do get that though I actually really enjoyed this episode because I think it's one of Roy's best battles (aside from the top one which wa#--the confrontation with the explorers in Diana's hideout)#he got a couple hits in and even thought to send in Wattrel when he realized that he'd get an advantage up in the air which was so so good#the kiddos mainly fumbled this time 'round because they forgot about the foongus/didn't have another mon to counter it#(maybe Hatena could've countered but Liko still needs to learn How to use her in battles--she does want to help though !!! with how she#--moved that shovel on her own - which I thought was a nice lil indicator of a possible battle highlighting her in the future)#I loooved that moment at the end with Diana showing the dude his true self through Bronzor's reflection that was actually very sweet#so yeah it's a simple ep but an enjoyable one - I think people gotta chill with constantly wanting peak sdkjfskndjfs#loads of Horizons content are focused on character moments and a slice of life feeling to everything which is something I love personally#this is a nice breather after the insanity of the last arc methinks hehe#anipoke#pokeani#pokemon horizons#diana pokemon#arcanine
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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one day we will talk about how tennis fans talk about/treat players they find attractive versus players they dont…………
#and sorry but. a lot of you do this!#im sure i do it as well#but sometimes it’s just feels like…idk really obvious that that’s what’s happening#idk it pisses me off. but especially with the wta it feels reductive sometimes to call it out#like ‘oh you’re only supporting her bc she’s pretty’ like EWWW. what a nasty thing to say#BUT i do think it’s true sometimes!!!!#not that people only support players they think are pretty#but that people are far more sympathetic or that they’re more likely to get behind a player they aren’t *usually* a fan of#does this make sense?#and i think it extends to the atp as well but partially less obvious bc ppl let men get away with anything anyway lol#lowkey it feels mean to talk about because any comparisons i make have to insinuate someone’s attractiveness…#but like it really feels like the elephant in the room sometimes…like how do you not see what you’re doing here#and can i be real! i think karo is a massive beneficiary of this!#and i think that’s part of why i notice it so much because i notice the way people talk about her and support her (which of course i love)#but then i compare that with other players who have had similar stories…and i feel like i do have the perspective here—#because i see so much of what is said about karo#so it feels quite obvious when she’s honestly? treated *very* well considering her career#we’ve seen plenty of players who have injury issues who are just labeled inconsistent or as having ‘physical issues’#i think karo gets a lot of sympathy in comparison…and id even go so far as to say i think she’s overhyped sometimes!#which i know is a wild thing to say as a huge fan of hers but i think it’s true! idk. this is not really the point but im trying to explain#what i meant by the earlier tags. that some players who are seen as attractive are given way more leniency in general
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casey is obvs funny with this rivalry stuff because on the one hand he's very 'well I don't care who I beat' (lie) and 'I don't motivate myself using my rivals' (also a lie) and then he's also repeatedly emphasising that valentino was ONE of his biggest rivals and he only competed against him a few years... like a lil side quest in the story of his career. Those Few Years where valentino was his big rival. whereas dani and jorge were his cohort so he did compete with them for a greater span of time... and this is technically true and does MATTER but it is also extremely noticeable in his output which rivalry he has the most thoughts about. and yes casey would say that this is because everyone ELSE cares the most about That One Rivalry the most and also his opponent being an annoying dickhead means it's the one he has the most complaints about... but at a certain point, it doesn't really matter, because there's still one rivalry you're talking about way more than any other. you can tell that he's at least given jorge's interiority a bit of thought, kinda went 'well he was arrogant but also Learnt From The Error Of His Ways and was maybe misunderstood so' -- but also he's not going beyond that, he's not examining jorge's soul, and he's not even doing any of that with dani. it's very much a rhetorical commitment to those other two rivalries. ultimately the point is that he's doing what he can to not talk up his biggest rivalry TOO much, because, you see. he Did Not Care That Much. (lie.) now objectively speaking this kind of framing literally does not matter, who cares which one of these was the most meaningful rivalry, but it's interesting that it matters to him!! casey's problem is that he is extremely sensitive and cares deeply about what other people say about him, but one of the things he's most sensitive about is the idea that he could let himself be mentally affected by ANYTHING, worst of all his rivals. they cannot be granted that much power over him. and all of this has kinda funny consequences in that he has pretty rigid patterns in how he talks about this stuff that are at times quite convoluted because he has to simultaneously emphasise that a) none of his rivals massively mattered to him, b) That Rival didn't matter more than the others, c) what That Rival did to him was completely beyond the pale, and d) none of that affected him mentally whatsoever. at most one of these is true. there are so many things casey wants so badly not to care about but it keeps spilling out of him anyway, this oozing sludge of resentment and repressed hopes and desires and frustration and longing and bitterness. he keeps giving himself away... he cares so much and he can't stand it
#i do feel bad sometimes using a clip from when he was like. eighteen as my smoking gun piece of evidence for the prosecution#but come on. that valencia 2003 clip is insanely telling. like yeah right you loved beating a guy sponsored by the circuit#it's kinda like dyke!vale tormenting his first gp rival into throwing in the towel. those are the Key Character Traits they're exhibiting#//#brr brr#heretic tag#i do also think there's some interviews where there's like. some real retconning. like casey that was Not You#that one interview where he was going in HARD about how jorge/dani were confused about how happy he was for them winning#and like casey buddy there's an element of truth to but you could be a notoriously sore loser!! mr 'a podium this far off isn't worth it'#and it's partly stuff he's talked about before with how self-critical he was... but of COURSE it could come across as unpleasant#i am doing my best not to get repetitive so this is the LAST time i am airing this complaint for a couple months at least#but the problem is if you have the starting point of him as like. a straight talking straight shooter or whatever#you do automatically miss a lot of the nuance with which he's constructing his own image#it's honesty based on vibes rather than literal honesty. u can be blunt and calculating idk what to tell u#im so fascinated if the jorge wheelchair story is true... i recently remembered it was also in the broadbent book#and that ducati pr people had like. gotten mad about it. which does fill one or two gaps and makes me think maybe it DID happen#idk there's something quite revealing about it!! casey isn't just a dickhead in the classic athlete mould. he's got a *nastiness* to him#all the aliens are occupational dickheads. only two of them i'd say have a real inclination towards nastiness
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much love to the (multiple) mutuals i’ve seen agony posting on this fine new year’s day my heart is with you all in spirit 🎉🎉 the pain is incredible but this too will change
#i think i got through all my own angst after having a full on melt down spiraling panic attack and hiding in my room for approximately#92% of christmas day 👍#sucked ass btw. do not recommend#i hate this time of year and all these (northern hemisphere) winter holidays in particular#because it always feels like there’s So Many expectations to Be Happy!! Love Your Family!!! Become A Fresh New You!!!!!#which ime never fucking works. sorry for being a bitch but the harder you push me to get into#The Christmas Spirit the grouchier and more depressed i get#you don’t have to change everything Right Now. you don’t have to fix yourself by the end of january#you have a lifetime to figure that shit out and it’s your goddamn right to spend that time on your own goddamn terms#i appreciate all of you 🫶#and i like having you around#sigh. 1 am somewhat incoherency pardon if i’m making little sense#i think i’m just over trying to find the One True Solution that will fix me and make me a perfect new person#that never has any conflict with anyone and never does embarrassing shit i’m ashamed of or fucks up by not being an#omniscient emotionless robot#i’ll hold onto the smaller goals if only because ‘it’s good to have things to look forward to’#etc. etc.#but. that’s it and only barely#really i just hope my birthday isn’t as utterly dogshit as last year but :]#we’ll fucking see#i should probably just block every tag i can think of related to american politics that day tbh#sigh. horrors of a january 20th birthday#anywho.#there’s my new years rant happy 2025 or whatever let’s see how long it takes me to remember to write the new date#storm tag#broadcasts from the astronaut
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tashi duncan my ice queen who’s so afraid she can’t love….. baby you can…. you do…..
#/tashi loves tennis/ yes true above all things. but she loves her husband too and she needs him#and we don’t have to pretend like she doesn’t like she’s still a damaged messed up woman who doesn’t quite know how/what to do about it but#it feels important that she very much does Love#challengers#but in order to love him she has to be vulnerable like that’s what he demands from her that patrick doesn’t and that’s the rub
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