#how does anyone ever get anything done??
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Why am I still up?
#actually its because I'm being plagued with [redacted] thoughts#i go of birth control for 2 weeks and suddenly I am [redacted] all the fucking time#like its horrible#how does anyone ever get anything done??#also its to hot in my room#but that might have something to do with the fact that I just [redacted] 3 times in a row#like jesus 3???? who am i#okay this is enough oversharing for tonight#im going to bed and deleting this in the morning#mutuals I apologize for telling you this
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Happy Kagepro Day!!!
#kido tsubomi#seto kousuke#kano shuuya#kagerou project#kagepro#choco art#last thursday I was like “oh shit. I don't have anything ready for the fifteenth”#And then rushed to make these#there are a few things I'd like to change or adjust on some of them (like the colors on kido's) but aside from that I'm pretty happy#seto's was the hardest. first I kept trying to daw a bird for the silhouette window thing#but I kept erasing it because I wasn't happy with it#then I was flicking through my screenshots of his song's video and realized "wait. What if the tv him and little him are sitting on is the#ilhouette? Then I kept the birds but put them in a circular pattern in a way reminiscent of how the scissors and knives(?) were around him#in certain shots (btw. does anyone have ANY idea what the gossip he was getting from that bird in his introduction was?)#The background I wish I had done more with but I was drawing a blank on ideas so... the outside of Mary's house it is#kano's - in contrast - was the easiest.#I was like “his silhouette's a cat. the background will definitely be a reference to his song.”#Honestly the masks were the hardest part because it was a little difficult to get good pics of any other than the red-eyed mask#Also something looks off about him to me but I wasn't about to fight the picture so I didn't fiddle with it too much before inking#maybe his face just translates into my style weirdly#not much to say about Kido. Except I really wish I did the equalizer bars differently and will definitely be changing that if I ever get ar#und to making these digitally. Also#I'd alter the shades of colors I chose for the music staffs but that bugs me a lot less than those fri#cking equalizer bars#did I really just go on a whole ass rant about my decisions in these drawings?#I guess I did. Whoops?
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more adhd jason grace or die by my sword
#jason grace#heroes of olympus#pjo#riordanverse#is he a strong leader. yes. is he the most forgetful man you ever met. also yes#could he kill you with a lightning strike. yes. does he often get lost in his activity du jour and forget to sleep. ALSO YES#stuff#also side note - more dyslexic jason specifically struggling at chb#where everything is labeled in ancient greek for the greek demigods' ease of comprehension#this is a fic waiting to happen but like#jason being completely lost with every sign around camp because his latin wired brain can't read that shit#he doesnt say anything because he's like 'im the guest here i should just learn ancient greek'#easier said than done his brain Rebels against learning it he tries but none of it seems to stick#until someone notices how jason will just blank-stare the sign posted on the armory door that says 'closed for cleaning'#and it's written in english too but that doesn't help jason he's almost as bad at reading in english as he is in ancient greek#so he DEFINITELY cant read the smaller print that says 'do not enter under threat of being eaten by cleaning harpies'#and our man just walks right in and almost gets eaten lmao#and then nico or someone is like. hmm. has anyone considered that this roman dyslexic demigod just cant fucking read ancient greek lmao#cue a campwide project to add latin to all the signs#these tags are a runaway train i just want more adhd dyslexic jason grace that's all
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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*writes the same exact headcannons in slightly different scenarios over and over again*
#it all comes back to my unicron-spawn Starscream and my quintesson-built Jazz#today I worked a little on us Starscream and qb Jazz becoming friends and getting a absurdly similar dynamic to how I write Prowl and Jazz#but I stopped that to work on a memory loss fic w that Jazz fighting his way from autobots to Starscream bc he was the only one who he#trusted with a complete memory back up as another not-cybertronian#and I stopped THAT to work on a qb Jazz/Prowl fic where it's non-essential no pain killer surgery that Prowl has to do on Hazx bc he refuses#to go to medics. partially bc the surgery is completely unsafe in any firm and partly bc qb Jazz doesn't want anyone else to know what he is#(and Prowl barely knows either)#but I only got a few sentences into that b4 I went to do an Autobot!DJD (AJD?) torture scene w qb Jazz where the nameless character to die#manages to tear open his chest while fighting back and finds nothing inside#BUT that's rlly similar 2 a fic where I've done the same thing w Starscream (the chest discovery in a scuffle bit) so I reread that before#I got distracted thinking abt my Starop fic that's all Starscream doesn't have a spark because he's a ghost Optimus Prime doesn't have a#spark because he's a lab experiment gone rogue. Misunderstandings ensue. which I adore but have no idea how to fit a plot into#so bc I couldn't think of anything more than a few sentences for that I went to my fic where ALL of the command trine formed from Unicron#but Skywarp and Thundercracker died early and Starscream spends millions of years searching all of cybertron and hoping Vector Sigma#reincarnation works for unicronians too. biiiig depression angst fic. I can't decide if I want it to end in Starscream self-inducing stasis#in one of Vector Sigma's chambers or whether I want it to end w Starscream brutally murdering the new trine member the reincarnated versions#of Skywarp and Thundercracker were made with (who ftr would be Sun Storm)#n that fic reminded me of that one rewritting of the Starscream's Ghost ep where Starscream catches a glimpse of Scourge and immediately#attacks. it's barely a fight because in seconds SS is ripping through layers of armor desperately searching for Thundercracker beneath the#shell Unicron gave him. He needs Thundercracker to be there (he isn't). Only when his claws have gone completely thru Scourge's back does he#round on the armada- only to completely ignore Cyclonus and go for one of his clones (Skywarp)#and that reminded me of- *gunshots*#do u see why I only ever manage to post ponies?? I have less ideas w them so I actually finish.#I'm worried of hitting tag limit but I have plenty more of even less fleshed out fics for us Starscream and qb Jazz#(I barely said half of what's in my writing docs)
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Posting this by itself because :) I just feel like he should have gotten to wear the mech pilot suit at least once..
(my AU black version and the og green)
#Legend of Korra#Baatar Jr.#LoK#WIP#[ since this is from something silly I wanted to post this bit because he is serving very cunty#even if you know he's talking about accidentally ingesting caustic chemicals lol#this was def self indulgent but also why couldn't he have worn the suit at least once sobs#we had one chance#I don't actually think he uses the mech suit hardly ever even though he has his own personal one#but on rare occasions he does and gets in this outfit and Kuvira are you okay? Are you good? Has anyone checked on her?#I feel like this outfit is what causes her to take a serious sanity hit LOL#she just drags him away by the hood and no one sees them again for like 4 hours#or she's just like “You know what I think he could use my help :)” and proceeds to be everything but helpful#idk how anything in this regime gets done I swear#the most Baatar ever used the mech suits was when they were first being built#idk dude I love a man in a working uniform sobs#I knew someone would recognize the mech pilot suit hehe that made me smile because yeah :)))#it felt good to draw Baatar again sobs I love him so much I've missed him#I do kinda wish this sketch was cleaner but I wanted to at least post it now in case I never did lol#I should to a proper illust of him in the pilot suit one day just for the pure self indulgence of it all#give myself a lill treat you know? ]#Neon Ocean Art
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i think a lot of people have never been in a truly desperate situation but think they have, and this causes them to pass really harsh judgment on people who made bad choices when either irrational or having no good choices to pick instead, and i really wish people could get some fucking self-perception and work on their compassion skills and not fucking do that as much anymore
#jack facts#people be banging on about empathy this empathy that#and like sure maybe people have a measurable capacity for it but i can tell you what#that sure as fuck don't mean any fucking one of them ever bothers to make use of it when it matters lol#and i mean on the other hand it's hard to conceptualize how you would feel going through something you've never experienced before#i just wish people would be AWARE of the fact they don't know!#or like that there's a difference between ''i can't afford anything but instant ramen'' and ''i can't get any food or water''#or a difference between being freaked out by spiders and having clinical arachnophobia#or a difference between ''my loved one is sick and i'm really worried about them'' and ''my loved one is dying in front of me''#etc etc etc etc etc#anyway the longer i live the more i'm convinced that empathy is a garbage concept#and actually a more reliable way to act with true compassion is through at least some capacity for relative objectivity#the ability to say ''i don't know how that feels and i cannot understand it through comparison'' and to be able AND WILLING#to take people's self reports on their feelings thought processes or lackthereof in good faith and with sympathy#and also the ability to acknowledge that doing a bad thing for good reasons does not negate the bad thing being bad#but also should and does change what consequences are appropriate and/or most effective#and also like............... things people do in desperation or other irrational states do not represent Who They Are As A Person#or what it's like to hang out with them in a day to day situation#another thing i keep getting more and more aware of is like. if y'all can't even handle an irrational or impulsive choice that does harm#done by an otherwise ''good'' person under short term desperate situations#that they then do their best to reduce the harm of after the situation is over#i can not even imagine how absolutely unforgiving you must be of anyone who has delusions#and i mean real delusions and real psychosis not the hyperbolic babytalk version lol#like i don't think most of you even know what the fuck a delusion even is the way you act about things as simple & straightforward as like#fear. hunger. pain.#absolutely fucking exhausting
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this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh
#and i might do it again bc its just#a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc#which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow#it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag#people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just#so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what#like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao#and it never ever used to#but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly#or whatever the make believe rules are idk#this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus#bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community#and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit#bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were#i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year#but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad#once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care#ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control#i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile#and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be#a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion#so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao#why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things????#i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just#ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand#so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time#but yeah anyways idk !#be nice its so easy !#tbd
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🫧
#tw: vent#so my mother is basically mean to me like 99 % of the time and we literally argue every single day#and i have been trying my hardest to not pay any heed to what she tells me but recently she told me something that really#made me feel so incredibly hurt and stupid idek how to put thaf into words#i avoid sharing things with her because she makes me feel bad about even the tiniest most unnecessary thing i share with her#so basically i have this one friend who was staying away from home for uni and she lives near me so i always try to be there for her#becayse i know how lonely it gets for her and i always go everytime my friends need me and my mom hates that#she makes me feel like being nice to my friends and others is the dumbest thing on this planet and that im stupid#but if my sister does it she's an angel#i was just waiting for my friend to figure things out as she was moving back home after uni ended so we could go look at internships#toghether#and she went home and got a job and while im happy for her she didn't even mention anything about it which made me sad enough but when i#told my mother about it she made me feel worse she said that was not very nice what she did you did so much for her and i told her#that's alright i dont mind and she said that my friend used me for her benefit and that I'm stupid for being nice to people#because according to her every nice thing that ive done is stupid and nothing i have done is going to make her feel proud or is enough#she qould NEVER say this to my sisters EVER#aah fuck this became too long#im so sorry if anyone came across this#but yes my mother is literally my biggest enemy most times ngl#she makes me feel like i wish i was not alive#it hurts to see my friends have great relationship with their moms and sisters#:')
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.
#I’m just done with trying to deal with people.#like what is the actual point of trying to learn how to communicate better#when every time I try to express that something is Wrong#it gets turned around on me and I spend the next however long groveling and apologizing#life lesson learned: I am somehow uniquely selfish and anything I do to try to express myself hurts people#and no matter what anyone else has done they’re guaranteed to have something I did worse on hand#or will have some way to turn it around so I need to make them feel better#I’m just done.#like what is the actual point of socializing and communicating and any of that shit.#if I am only ever allowed to express positive emotions#and I know like three people are gonna see this and immediately accuse me of not communicating that I’m upset with them#like what do you want me to do.#what would be the point of saying anything.#does it make other people feel better to argue?#idk maybe it works if you’re always the person who is ‘right’#but it sucks ass if you’re always the person that is ‘wrong’#(argument/discussion of emotions/whatever the fuck you want to call it)#I’m done. I’m just too tired for this shit.#I grew up with this shit coming from my mother I know it’s pointless to even try#I hoped it wouldn’t happen with my friends but fuck me I guess
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were so cooked bro all i can do is fucking give up and doom scroll and joke with my friends about getting deported and try again with voting next time
#if this is the endless cycle of the modern life i dont want it#im sick of having to care about other people#asshole post im sorry guys this is really important im just#i think people who care about whats happening to other people have TRIED and have been TRYING SO HARD#why will nothing change#why is it that no matter what anyone does there arent enough people who can make anything change#theres never enough#its never going to be enough#and then people who care start giving up#im giving up too btw i get it i really do#so its just impossible#nothing will ever change significantly enough for everyone to be safe and happy#history repeats itself#everyone who thinks they would be able to help stop bad events in the past from happening have now seen first hand thats not how it works#im so fucking done#there is literally nothing left for me or anyone i know to do#fuck this#cries dies and fries#ppanicposts#rant#vent#us politics#i guess#hot and sexy or whatever
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I still can't believe out of everyone and everything that could have gotten rid of the loophole in Angel's curse, it was Illyria (strongly hinted at the very end of the season 12 comics). Just goes to show how the Powers That Be don't care about their champions, and are really kind of evil (though we already knew that). And they were probably keeping the loophole on purpose, thinking that if it wasn't there he and Buffy would just run off and be happy together instead of fighting for them, the bastards.
#buffy the vampire slayer#angel#bangel#buffy comics#buffy season 12#buffy the vampire slayer comics#buffy the vampire slayer season 12#but this has gotten me thinking 'could only someone in the series who was a god. or had god-like powers. get rid of the loophole then?'#and making me want to write some different aus now. like part of me is now wondering if maybe in the future dawn could have somehow gotten#rid of it. as she was the key connected to the goddess glory. and in the comics she stars figuring out how to use her powers and stuff#there are some ideas here for fanfiction#especially since usually in fanfiction that gets rid of it it's usually willow (maybe with tara helping her. sometimes buffy's blood being#involved)#which i GET. but the idea that it was illyria opens some other doors in fanon maybe#and how i wish more 'canon' things would explore it. and bangel in general again. looking at you boom#but you know the god thing kind of does make sense because there's also how buffy and angel have sex in s8 when they're both gods and that#doesn't trigger the curse. either because angel's technically not a vampire with a cursed soul there he's a god and/or they keep the curse#(probably he does) keep the curse being triggered with their powers or something#but back to the dawn thing: as silly as this no doubt is. there's a part of me that wants to write her just portaling the loophole away whe#she discovers her portal powers. lol. i don't think anyone's ever done anything like that before#but i bring this all up because i just read this one really well-written fic where illyria got rid of the loophole#which got me thinking about how she's the one to do so in canon#and then about the loophole in general
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yes im trying not to be so mean yes im working on my temper but under no section of my Healing Contract does it mention that these things must apply to my sister. in fact if you read the fine print it says im actively allowed to make her miserable. for my mental health
#she's so mean all the time like constantly telling me im stupid and shit#which probably didn't hit as hard before this econ degree but now every time she does it im just kinda like :/#and i laugh it off obvs bc am i fuck about to look put out by it#so she genuinely doesnt have any reason to stop bc ive not set any boundaries or communicated or yk. done anything correctly#i instead just let it frustrate the fuck out of me until one day im in a bad enough mood that i'll give as bad as she does#which i HATE bc as tough shit as she thinks she is i always think being mean - specifically the primary school way she does it -#is SO embarassing as a conflict method like girl 'you're stupid' is really the best you can come up with? bffr 😭#like when i say IM mean and SHE'S mean im talking about very different things#im mean less often than her but when i do it it's effective bc i literally catalogue people's insecurities and use them against them#like some fucking anime villian like it's actually uncomfortable to watch and i hate myself every time#whereas her way is effective bc it's all dumb comments ANYONE could make but she says them repeatedly until she wears you down#and of the two methods they're both shit but at least my way isn't cringe LMAO#so if i ever get so frustrated i revert to her method i just get v annoyed with myself like IM better than this she might not be but i am#and we've just been moving things in the garden with mum which is a flashpoint anyway#and me and my sister were just GOING at each other and it was all jokes until i said something she didn't like#and she was like 'what's your problem? it's fine when we're joking but you always take it too far' girl.#like i cannot accurately explain on here how ridiculous that statement is coming from HER#and if id said something actually horrible id get it but the convo was literally just#her: mum can i wear your watch for the chem ball coming up?#me: why do you need a watch for that?#her: ive got a dumb tan line on my wrist that i want to cover#me: i really dont think anyone is going to be looking at your wrists#THAT WAS IT LMFAO??? YOU HYPOCRITICAL LITTLE BITCH#ironically i had a field day with it like her saying that was the worst thing she could have done#latched onto it like a bloodhound fr my eyes must have lit up#i was like 'dont be such a baby' which is basically a fucking trigger word in our house#thought she was gonna hit me with a spade <3 peace and love on planet earth#godddddd i cant wait for her to go back to uni i HATE sharing a room i cannot escape her she's literally here as i type#i hope she knows im slagging her off to my niche online micro-community#hella goes home
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((Given his eternally hectic schedule and propensity for being scatterbrained, Kaveh gave a few tries at having an assistant after the Palace of Alcazarzaray skyrocketed his already prestigious reputation.
It's important to him to encourage young talent, so he took on up-and-coming Ksharewar student volunteers to help him with all manner of things, from carrying his tools and supplies, to running job-related errands, to keeping track of his schedule. In return, the students shadowed Kaveh to gain firsthand experience in all aspects of the work of an architect, from mapping and surveying, to client meetings, to project management and overseeing a build site.
Unfortunately...Kaveh is Kaveh. X'D His own terrible work habits are his downfall. He doesn't know how to say "no" to anyone and agrees to so many projects that balancing it all is impossible. He refuses to compromise on his artistic vision, even at the cost of budget inflation, missed deadlines, and timeline extensions. He's absolutely brilliant, but his artistic process is chaotic on the best of days.
Inevitably, his assistants observed these behaviors and questioned/called Kaveh out on them. As a result, none of his student assistants lasted long, whether it was due to Kaveh being indignant over them questioning their senior, or the students themselves growing tired of Kaveh's antics.
After these failed attempts, Kaveh gave up on the idea and instead built Mehrak to be his "assistant."
And Mehrak's best feature?
"Most importantly, it can't talk—so it can't give me any attitude. 😤" ))
#《⭒✩⭒ || hc: penniless prodigy (kaveh) 》#casually writes a whole headcanon from that single line in the “Parade of Providence” event quest#that line still kills me to this day okay#sometimes I think about it and just cackle to myself over how ridiculous this man is asdfksdj#“how dare anyone give me attitude!” cries the king of having an attitude#those poor students tho jfc#like YES kaveh is a genius in his field and shadowing him is an incredible opportunity#bUT-- X'D at what cost asfdsdf#how does kaveh ever get anything done?? he sure doesn't know#he's fueled by 50% artistic fervor and 50% “i have to do this to spite alhaitham who thinks i can't” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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i said it on my swiftie blog last but fuck it i'll say it here too bc i woke up still annoyed about it:
for a website that does a ton of bitching and moaning about media literacy and and saying all this "you all clearly didn't pay attention in high school english", funny how suddenly none of y'all know what a fucking metaphor is.
of course taylor wasn't literally raised in an asylum! the public eye is the inescapable asylum!
i think about all the genuinely shitty and harmful things i've said and done across all my nearly 30 years. i have said and done some awful shit, because i am an incredibly fallible person who was raised by incredibly fallible parents and relatives, raised in a fallible community (things i literally had ZERO choice in) and surrounded by incredibly fallible friends. i have hung around some horrible people who said and did horrible things.
if i had to learn everything i've learned all while under a microscope from the public-- yeah! i'd go fucking insane! i wouldn't last ten seconds in that!!
and i really reckon you wouldn't, either, because the unfortunately reality is we're all fallible. most of us just have the luxury of being complete nobodies
#i'm not saying anyone has to LIKE the album#i'm not even saying everyone HAS to listen to the album i really don't care and honestly i'm glad we're weeding out some of the normies#but the way some of y'all act like you've never said or done ANYTHING shitty in your life#idk maybe i'm too forgiving bc ever since i was 13 i've just been existing from one mental health crisis to the next#also it does continue to be LAUGHABLE at how little self control some of y'all have#like it's so fucking easy to ignore the artists bands and celebs i hate or don't like#y'all probably don't even know who that list includes apart from the obv musk and bezos bc i waste no brain space on any of them#anyways it's probably time for another small tumblr break because THIS asylum regularly drives me insane lmao#i get being a hater can be fun now and again but at what point are you doing nothing but engaging in being a hater as a form of self harm#trust me:#surrounding yourself with nothing but other haters and negativity actively makes you see and think the world is worse than it already is#been there#like one of my psych professors would say: cathartic behaviours are only helpful up to a point. they can quickly become a form of self har
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