#how do you know if your engine is going bad

[earthtooz]

lighter x gn!mechanic!reader, 1k wc lighter is down bad for reader. like. DOWN BAD, lots of cute banter, pining from both.

Whenever you visit Blazewood, the Sons of Calydon mark it as a significant day in their metaphorical calender.

You’re their precious mechanic, the one who ensures all of their bikes and engines are running smooth for any operations (read: trouble) they get themselves into. Having been long-term friends with Caesar, you make the effort of travelling from Sixth Street to the outskirts of New Eridu every few weeks. Granted, for how many times you’ve travelled between the two places, you’ve grown rather close to the tight-knit biker gang, so it's an exciting time for all.

However, the reason it’s marked down is because they know it’s a special occasion where they can all tease a certain, aloof boxer a bit more than usual.

“Y/n!” Burnice’s voice cuts through the bustling atmosphere of Cheesetopia, capturing everyone’s attention as you walk through the door of the diner.

They all wave you over the booth they sat in, Burnice and Luci shuffling over so you can sit down with them. You don’t see the way Caesar nudges Lighter as you settle down opposite him. 

“How was your trip?” Caesar asks. 

“Good, a little tired though,” your yawn is perfectly timed. “My limbs still feel stiff.” 

“Oh no! Do you need a little rest?”

“No need, I wanna get started working as soon as possible, I'm itching to tinker some engines."

The dark-haired across from you chuckles, adjusting his sunglasses to sit higher on his nose bridge. “There’s the Y/n we all know. If you need a little help, let me know, I’m happy to lend a hand.” 

The group giggles between themselves.

“Thanks, Lighter!” 

The giggles intensify when Lighter’s ears flush red at the tips. 

This is why your visits are a marked occurrence: because the rare blush and nervous appearance that overtakes his normally cool and collected character is incredibly entertaining, and watching him bumbling about around you is a hard opportunity to come by. All Lighter can do is admit defeat and be susceptible to all the teasing that’s sent his way, because he might as well accept it.

He’ll turn a blind eye to the blonde heads popping around the garage every so often as he helps you out in the garage as long as it means they leave the both of you alone. He’ll ignore the giggles of the girls as they listen in on the quiet conversation exchanged between you both in the dim lighting of the dreary space.

“Any biker gang fights happen recently?” You ask whilst observing the rear wheel.

“Nah,” Lighter grunts, “just a few challenges here and there.”

You extend your hand out to him. “Spanner, please.” He places the tool comfortably in your hands and you resume working. “A few challenges? Did you win?”

“‘course. Wouldn’t be a good champion if I lost.”

“Sounds easy in theory,” you murmur, peeking around the bike. “I bet you don’t even know the names of the gangs you won against.”

His silence is the only answer you need and you sneak a smug glance at him. You look away before you could notice the red blush creeping up his neck. “So what if I don’t? I won against them, ain’t that all that matters?”

“Sure. Guess your memory gets knocked out of you after a couple fights.” You giggle at your own joke.

“C'mon, quit teasin’ me.”

“Sorry, just can’t help it when it took you almost five months to remember my name.” It’s light-hearted, he can hear the smile in your voice. 

“Gosh, you just don’t know how to let things go,” he counters, a smile of his own developing.

“Nah, it’s just fun to tease you.” Then, you stand up with a grunt, looking at your handiwork closely one last time before making your way to your workbench. “Besides, it’s not everyday I get to interact with a cool guy like you.”

Lighter’s heart skips a beat in his chest before jumping against his ribcage. “You think I’m cool?”

“Doesn’t everyone?” You ask. “You’re the cool guy who cares about everyone, and that’s a good thing. I like that about you.”

Oh, you’re gonna kill him. He’s not gonna make it out of the garage if you continue this onslaught of compliments. He doesn’t really want you to stop either, wants you to say something that really shows how you feel about him, like how you think he’s handsome, or that he’s admirable, or better yet, that you like him as well.

‘I like that about you’, ‘I like … you’, yeah. That’s also good enough for now. 

Instead, you fall silent as you rearrange all your tools, locking the box that cuts through the tense atmosphere with a ‘click’. 

“Well, I’m beat,” you huff, stretching your arms over your head, “my back hurts and I’m hungry.” 

“You’ve been working real hard, let me treat you to dinner.”

“Really?” 

“Really.” 

A few minutes later, you end up at the Fuel Truck, enjoying some food together and continuing your conversation in the cool, breezy night of Blazewood. It’s easy being with you, effortless, doesn’t really burn through his energy like some other social interactions do, and Lighter can’t help but feel like this is how it’s meant to be. Sharing stories, talking about the important and mundane alike, he doesn’t know when you became more than the cute mechanic Caesar was good friends with, but he’s glad he finally got your name down on the sixth time of trying. 

He tucks a strand of stray hair away from your face before you can get it in your mouth, and the grin you give him almost paralyses him. 

Plates are emptied, drinks finished, and dessert is done, but you’re still talking into the late of the night, until the employees need to wipe down the bar and call it a day. All good things come to an end, and Lighter wishes you could stay with the Sons of Calydon for longer than just a few days, but you have your own business in Sixth Street, so he monopolises your time whenever he can.

Which is how he ends up walking you to your motel, letting the long day draw to a close.

“Thank you for dinner, Lighter, today was fun.”

He chuckles, the sound deep and full. “No problem, it’s my pleasure.”

“Come back tomorrow, yeah? Swing by the garage anytime you want.”

“Anytime?” The biker rubs his chin. “Careful with your generosity, I might end up annoying you.”

“I doubt it.”

“And if I overstay my welcome?” 

“Then apologise by keeping me company.”

You shoot him a wink before going up the stairs of the motel, quickly disappearing from his sight as he laughs to no one in particular. He lightly punches his chest, as if trying to tell his hammering heart to calm down. 

Yeah. You really are trying to kill him. 

© EARTHTOOZ 2025, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.

[iamconstantine]

arcane characters as college staff

Mel

History professor 

Refers to all students by (honorific) (surname)

Nothing but praise on ratemyproffesor

“I didn’t like history until I took Professor Medarda’s class” 

Doesn’t write scholarly articles, just giant ass books that she pumps out almost every year somehow

Quickly responds to emails. No response = its in the syllabus 

“Is there any make up work I can do to get my grade up—“ Absolutely not

But if you go the writing center you can get extra credit

Every year her students ask for an extension on the final project and every year she gives a long and furious rant about how the project was visible online from Day 1 and they had all semester to work on it

She has a beautiful office that looks like a miniature library and she only sees students by appointment

Jayce

Physics professor

Is a prolific author but somehow can’t figure out how to set up the course online

Prints cheesy physics memes 

Every zoom meeting begins with 1000 messages saying “professor Talis we can’t hear you your mic isn’t on” every. time.

you can come see him in his office any time, door’s always open

but his office is so messy you probably won’t be able to sit because he has a stack of papers on every chair

“Everyone got this question on the exam wrong so I’m going to give everyone credit because that means i didn’t teach it properly”

Always throws an end-of-year party at his place 

Caitlyn

English Literature professor 

would win best dressed of the staff, always shows up in the slacks-and-blazer fit

“To understand why the narrator wears red shoes, we need to take a look at the sociopolitical state of Edinburgh in 1864.”

if you reply to a discussion board post with just “I agree” you’re not getting credit and it isn’t up for discussion 

Never reads contemporary fiction. The “newest” book she’s read is The Great Gatsby

“We’re not having a party but if you want to bring snacks and soda to the last day of class that’s fine”

Covers a lot of authors but it somehow always comes back to Emily Dickenson

Is that teacher that assigns 400-page books every week

Constantly publishing in lit journals (rumor has it she writes steamy open-door romance books under a pen-name but no one has confirmed this)

Ekko

Art professor 

You have to actively screw up to get a bad grade with him

He wrote thousands of letters to the board until they caved and gave the class a proper kiln

“Write a three-page essay explaining why AI art is not art and insisting otherwise is spitting in the face of humankind. Double spaced. Due Friday 11:59”

Throws back coffee. Has a coffeemaker in the studio. Two of them. 

“Hey guys some of you are submitting assignments at 2 in the morning. It can wait until the next day. Please get some sleep.”

He’s created awe-inspiring pieces but if you just wanna paint a frog wearing a hat he’ll say “that’s cool”

Says he knows who banksy is but will never tell

He gets way too deep in the zone. Once reached for his coffee cup while painting, drank paint water instead. Didn’t notice.

Jinx

Chemistry professor 

If you email her the response will be “k” or “no” and nothing else

Waits until twenty minutes after the class begins to email everyone that class is canceled 

Never wears a coat, goggles, or gloves. But will call out students if they don’t

takes 5 years to post grades

“Look I’m not remembering any names. Too many. If I’m talking to you I’ll just point”

Puts a meme on the projector every day. Mostly incomprehensible. Picture of a horse on an beach and it just says “Zimbabwe”

lowest score on ratemyprofessor

someone creates a website called ratemystudent and administration has no proof that it was her because technically the students with bad scores being the same students that get bad grades in her class can be coincidental 

Viktor

Biomedical engineering professor 

Only professor who still uses chalkboards

First day of class is first day of class. No reviewing the syllabus, turn to page 34 in your textbook.

Puts things in the syllabus to catch people who use ChatGPT. If you’re caught, you’re removed from his class. Immediately. You will not get to plead your case.

Most of his cited sources are himself

Literally begs students to thrift their textbooks online instead of buying them from the school. Provides free PDFs as often as he can.

He reads journals every day and will write personal letters to authors he disagrees with

If a student asks a particularly dumb question he’ll step out of the room for ten minutes to compose himself and then resume teaching like nothing happened

Vi

Not a professor, works at the on-campus gym and leads clubs

Constantly curses without batting an eye. Students will leave class with their very uptight professor then come to the soccer club where vi walks in like “sorry I’m late guys i had a motherfucker of a headache this morning”

Please don’t ask her about anything that isn’t club or sport related. If you ask for directions or how to get in contact with student services she’s got nothing

If she refs for a game and you’re on the opposing team you’d better watch yourself. She will rip you a new one if you break any rules. One time a player grabbed one of her member’s mask during a game and he left crying after Vi was done with him

Students run into her at the local hangouts a lot but it’s never awkward. just reminds you not to party too hard before the game tomorrow 

Leads pretty much every club but dance. Wouldn’t admit it but she has no sense of rhythm and refuses to even do it as a student

You can call her coach or captain or just Vi, whatever you want. But if you call her Violet she’ll stare you down until you correct yourself

Heimerdinger

Anthropology professor 

Spends the first day of class getting to know everyone. “We’re going to go around and give our names and a fun fact about ourselves!”

Gives the “Nacirema” assignment and can’t wait to tell everyone the catch

His classroom is filled with artifacts. Don’t ask about any of them because it will take up class time

If you can’t make it to class he sends really nice responses saying he understands, then checks in when you come back

The only thing that puts him in a bad mood is the “why do anthropologists study dinosaurs if anthropology is about people” question. He’s old and tired 

Keeps thinking about retiring, keeps changing his mind

Silco

Political science professor

His classroom is bare and blank. No life. Just fluorescent lights and chairs.

Brags about how few people pass his class

Very strict on attendance. Too many absences and you’re out. 

If the assignment is due at 11:59 and you turn it in at 12:00, it’s late

“I am quite interested to hear why you believe you are deserving of a higher grade when you’ve spent less than thirty minutes attending all of my classes combined. Please, continue.”

Will straight up roast other professors no problem. Encourages students to pass it along

He encourages debate but the only thing students debate about outside of class is whether he’s hot or creepy af

Final project is a choice between A) A ten-page essay on why there is no ethical consumption under capitalism, or B) a presentation on why the country is doomed

Vander

Education professor 

Makes his own series of Crash Course-esque videos

Comes to class in jeans at best. Sweats, sometimes. 

He has one coffee mug that says #1 Dad and he refuses to use anything else

He puts fun questions on his exams, like riddles. If no one gets it, he actually gets sad

Whenever he erases the whiteboard he always misses a spot. He’s that professor.

If he catches you plagiarizing, you get one pass before he reports it. But you have to come to his office so he can tell you how disappointed he is and how much potential you have

He gives a seminar about how worried he is for the future of education and the wellbeing of the next generation and everyone leaves feeling guilty. Everyone.

Make a pop culture reference in class and everything will grind to a halt so you can explain it to him. Visuals help.

Sevika

Librarian

If you play music in the library she’ll walk up to you and just go “are you joking”

Have a phone call on speaker and she’s hanging it up for you

There’s signs telling you to be quiet every three feet

If you see her outside of school no you didn’t

She’s in charge of leading classes on accessing academic databases and she fucking hates it

Somehow knows where every book is down to the shelf. She’ll tell you what you’re looking for before you can finish your sentence

technically she’s supposed to do a walkthrough before closing for the night but if you can’t read the library hours on the signs it’s your fault if you get locked in

[midastouch013]

Turn Back Time

Summary: Based on Turn Back Time by Daniel Schulz

Warnings: Mentions of death, Dead!Nat, Minor violence, Post Endgame, No happy ending.

P.S: This hurt me to write

P.S.S : Also, how would you feel about doing a version of this, but it was just a breakup, not dead her.

---

The rumble of the Harley-Davidson Live Wire reverberated through the quiet street, the electric hum blending with the steady rhythm of your heart. It was her bike—the one you'd gifted her on your second anniversary. A sleek machine, made for freedom and adrenaline, but also for quiet moments like these.

You sat at the red light, staring blankly at the world around you. The evening chill nipped at your skin through your jacket, and the city lights blurred in your peripheral vision. Somewhere in the back of your mind, a memory stirred.

--

It was your second anniversary. She had been scheduled for an emergency mission that day, something she'd cursed under her breath when she realized it clashed with your plans. Still, Natasha being Natasha, you knew she'd feel bad if she didn't go, and so you didn't stop her, but sending her off with a "Come to the garage when you're done". And she did.

You’d waited for hours in the garage, the compound eerily quiet as everyone else had gone to bed. The Live Wire gleamed under the dim lights, freshly polished, your gift to her—a machine that matched her speed, her elegance, her fire. But as the clock ticked past dinner and well into the evening, your excitement had waned, replaced by worry.

When you heard those familiar steps you stood, your heart pounding as you saw her walking toward you, her steps slower than usual, her face shadowed with exhaustion. Her black suit was stained with dirt and faint traces of blood, but when her eyes met yours, a small smile tugged at her lips.

"You waited," she said softly, her voice tinged with disbelief.

You smirked, tossing her the helmet you’d been holding. "Of course. You think I'm going to let our anniversary slide just because you're fashionably late?"

She laughed softly, shaking her head as she walked toward you. Her hand rested briefly on your cheek before she pressed a quick kiss to your lips.

"I owe you big time," she murmured.

"You can start by getting on." You gestured to the bike, and her eyes widened.

"This is..." She trailed off, running her fingers along the handlebars.

"For you," you said simply, watching her reaction.

Her lips parted, eyes glimmering under the dim garage lights. "You’re serious?"

"Dead serious. But first, you’re going to sit behind me. I want to take you somewhere."

The memory blurred as you remembered her leaning into your back, her arms securely around your waist as you sped through the night. The streets were nearly empty, the wind whipping through your hair as laughter bubbled up from behind you.

When you’d reached the first red light, you didn’t even slow down. She’d leaned closer, her voice teasing in your ear. "That’s illegal, you know."

You’d grinned, your heart pounding as adrenaline coursed through you. "So is falling in love with a spy."

The night had stretched on, the two of you riding nowhere in particular, just basking in the freedom and each other’s presence. By the time you returned to the compound, the sun had begun to rise. You’d been late, reckless even, but you wouldn’t have changed a second of it.

--

The cemetery was quiet, the kind of silence that wasn’t peaceful but suffocating. You pulled up on the Harley, its hum cutting through the stillness. Killing the engine, you swung your leg over and stepped off, clutching the bouquet of red irises tightly in your hand. They were her favorite—soft, delicate flowers that somehow seemed so unlike her, yet made perfect sense.

Her grave was just a few steps away, but it felt like a mile. Each step was heavier than the last, grief curling around your chest like a vice. When you finally stopped in front of the headstone, the sight of her name carved into the stone stole the breath from your lungs. Natasha Romanoff.

You crouched, setting the flowers down carefully, brushing away a stray leaf that had fallen onto the base of the stone. Your fingers lingered there for a moment before you straightened, your throat tightening as the words left your lips.

“We used to run red lights and never look back,” you whispered, the weight of the memory pressing down on you. “We used to chase long nights. Nothing wrong with that.”

A single tear slipped down your cheek, and you didn’t bother wiping it away. Your voice cracked as you continued. “'Cause I loved you, and I lost my mind. And now, I try to leave it, oh, I try. But you still haunt me, no matter where I go.”

Your heart clenched as yesterday’s encounter replayed in your mind.

--

Yesterday, you’d walked into her favorite coffee shop, the one she always dragged you to despite your insistence that their tea was subpar. The smell of freshly ground beans filled the air as you stepped up to the counter, hands shoved deep into your pockets. And then you saw her—or at least, you thought you did.

Red hair, cut just like hers, swayed as the woman in front of you ordered. Your heart stopped, and for one excruciating second, you were certain it was her. You didn’t breathe, didn’t think, and u tapped her shoulder—

“Natasha?”

The woman turned and the illusion shattered. A stranger’s face looked back at you, startled by you. Your cheeks burned as you stammered an apology, backing away and leaving the shop without ordering.

You’d walked down the street aimlessly, hands buried in your jacket pockets, head bowed, the lump in your throat refusing to go away. The rest of the day passed in a fog, and now here you were, standing in front of her grave with her favorite flowers and an ache in your chest you couldn’t shake.

--

You let out a soft, bitter laugh as you glanced at the small container of lasagna you’d brought with you. “Yeah. I though you'd like a date."

“You hated my lasagna,” you murmured, the corner of your lips twitching upward in a faint, humorless smile. “But you came back for more.”

The memory of her teasing you played vividly in your mind.

--

It was the first time she stayed over. She’d stood in your tiny kitchen, arms crossed and a smirk tugging at her lips as she watched you served her the rather lovely looking piece of lasagna.

“This is terrible,” she’d said to damage the ego of yours when you had claimed to make a mean lasagna earlier. She’d wrinkled her nose dramatically, setting her fork down with a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

You’d rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. “You’re the worst liar I’ve ever met.”

"This is horrible," she’d declared once more, her voice laced with mock seriousness. “Truly, the worst lasagna I’ve ever had.”

"Oh, screw you,” you’d shot back, rolling your eyes. “Go back to your fancy spy food then.”

She’d shrugged, trying to suppress a laugh. “It’s edible, at least.”

You’d mock-glared at her, muttering something under your breath about ungrateful assassins, but she’d just grinned and pulled you into a kiss, the taste of lasagna still on her lips.

But the very next day, she’d shown up at your apartment with an empty Tupperware container. “So, uh, I was thinking… maybe I could take some of that ‘terrible’ lasagna to go?”

“You mean the one you hated?”

“Exactly. Got any left?”

It had become a tradition after that, every other week. She never admitted it was her favorite, but you caught the way her face lit up every time you mentioned making it.

--

You closed your eyes, the laughter from that memory fading into the echo of another. “And then there was that night when I didn’t even have lasagna or anything to cook, but you wanted to, so you dragged me to your favorite grocery store.”

--

Her favorite grocery store. You still found that absurd. She’d grabbed a cart and immediately started tossing the most random assortment of items inside—marshmallows, soy sauce, canned peaches. You’d followed her with a bewildered look, questioning every choice she made.

“Trust me,” she’d said, her lips twitching with amusement. “I have a plan.”

She didn’t have a plan. By the time you reached the checkout, you were certain half the things in the cart weren’t even going to be used. She’d sent you on wild goose chases, making you circle the store in search of things that didn’t exist, claiming it was “good cardio.”.

The store clerk had given you a look that screamed off your rocker, when you'd asked him for canned brussel sprouts, and you’d playfully glared at her while she doubled over in laughter., when the man walked away muttering something about kids nowdays, when you were probably just a few year younger than him

“You’re impossible,” you’d muttered.

“And you love it,” she’d shot back, leaning in to kiss you softly. She made up for the chaos by still eating the lasagna, no matter how strange the ingredients were that night.

--

“You got me running circles in your favorite store,” you murmured now, your fingers brushing the irises. “And I lost you, and I lost my mind.”

--

You actually had lost it.

The day Clint came back without her.

You hadn’t believed it at first. You’d waited for her to walk in after him, your heart pounding in anticipation. But when he looked at you with tear-filled eyes, the truth hit you like a freight train.

You’d snapped.

“You left her?!” you’d screamed, shoving him back. He hadn’t fought back, guilt etched into every line of his face.

Steve had stepped in, trying to calm you down, but his words only made it worse. “You need to stop—”

“Don’t you dare tell me to stop!” you’d yelled, your voice raw with anguish.

And then you’d turned on Clint, your fist connecting with his jaw. You were ready to hit him again, to make him pay for leaving her, to take out all your pain and anger on him, but Tony had stepped in, pulling you away. He’d wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly as you broke down.

You’d sobbed against him, your grief spilling out in heaving, uncontrollable waves.

--

Now, you stared at her name, your voice a broken whisper. “And now, I try to leave it all behind. But I still see you, no matter where I go.”

--

Just this morning, you’d seen a blonde walking down the street, her face inexplicably morphing into Natasha’s for a fleeting second. You’d blinked, and her face was gone, leaving you shaken and hollow.

--

The picture was worn, its edges frayed from the number of times you’d taken it out, clinging to it like a lifeline. Wanda had taken it during one of those rare, blissful moments at the compound. You and Nat had been baking—well, trying to bake. The kitchen had ended up more like a battleground of flour and dough than anything resembling culinary success.

The memory unfolded vividly in your mind.

“You call this a cookie?” she’d teased, holding up your misshapen attempt.

“You’re one to talk, Miss Burnt-to-a-Crisp,” you’d fired back, smirking as you threw a handful of flour at her.

She’d retaliated instantly, laughing as she chased you around the kitchen with her own handful of flour, her laughter so pure and carefree it still echoed in your mind. And then, just as you’d both caught your breath, you’d pulled her under the mistletoe.

“Oh, real subtle,” she’d said, a playful glint in her eye.

“Can’t waste an opportunity,” you’d replied, leaning in to kiss her, the taste of laughter still fresh on your lips.

Wanda had snapped the photo just moments after the kiss. Both your faces had been smeared with flour, and your grins had been so wide they’d hurt. You hadn’t cared. You’d never felt more in love, more alive, than you had in that moment.

Now, standing in front of her grave, you gently rubbed your thumb over her part of the photo, your eyes misting over. She looked so happy, so effortlessly beautiful.

“If I could turn back time and make it all alright,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “Only a piece of you and me will keep me warm all night. If I could turn back time and rewrite every line… If only I could, but baby, I can’t.”

Your legs gave out as the weight of it all crushed you, and you fell to your knees. The photo slipped from your fingers, landing softly on the grass as you wrapped your arms around the cold stone, holding it as though it were her.

The sobs tore from your chest, raw and guttural, as you screamed into the silence, your voice breaking with the force of your anguish.

“Why did you leave me?” you choked out, your forehead pressing against the stone. “Why did you have to go?”

You shouted her name, again and again, your cries reverberating through the stillness of the cemetery. It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair. She was supposed to be here. You were supposed to grow old together, to share more laughs, more kisses, more everything.

But she was gone.

And all you had left were memories and a photo, a cruel reminder of everything you’d lost.

You stayed there, clutching her grave like it was the only thing tethering you to this world, as the pain poured out of you in waves. And for the first time in a long while, you let yourself feel it all—the love, the loss, the unbearable ache of missing her.

So I'ma scream, shout, let it all out And scream and shout and let it all out for you, for you So I'ma scream, shout, let it all out And scream and shout and let it all out for you, for you

--

The cold of the stone seeped into your skin as you stayed on your knees, still clutching her headstone as though holding on tighter might somehow bring her back. You’d been sitting in silence for a while now, your sobs reduced to quiet sniffles. But the memories kept coming, relentless and vivid, dragging you back into the moments you couldn’t escape.

Your voice was hoarse as you began again, barely above a whisper. “A few days after we lost you... and Tony…” you paused, swallowing hard as the grief twisted in your chest. “After we beat Thanos, after we saved the world, it didn’t feel like a victory. It felt hollow without you.”

You pulled back slightly, sitting back on your heels as your gaze fell to the flowers you’d brought. “I couldn’t face anyone. Not Steve, not Bruce, not Clint…” You clenched your fists, the memory cutting through the fog of your grief. “So I went to a bar. Alone. It was the middle of the night, and I just wanted to forget, even if it was just for a little while.”

The scene played out in your mind like it had happened yesterday.

The bar had been dimly lit and nearly empty. You’d taken a seat in the corner, ordering drink after drink, trying to drown the ache in your chest. But it hadn’t worked. No amount of alcohol could fill the gaping hole she’d left behind.

By the time you were drunk, you’d pulled out your phone. Your fingers had hovered over her name in your contacts, and before you could think better of it, you’d hit call.

It had gone straight to voicemail.

Your voice cracked as you recited the words you’d said that night, the pain still fresh. “I hit you up like, ‘Hey, girl, can we talk right now?’ I know you’re far away, but… ‘Can we hang right now?’”

You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head at your own desperation. “I tried again. And again. But every time, it was the same. Straight to voicemail.”

You remembered slurring into your phone, your voice thick with tears and alcohol. “It’s me. I just… I just need to hear your voice. Please, Nat. I don’t know what to do without you.”

You’d hung up after the fifth attempt, throwing your phone onto the sticky bar counter in frustration. The bartender had looked at you with pity, but you didn’t care.

“I loved you, and I lost my mind,” you whispered again, your thumb absentmindedly brushing over the photo on the ground beside you. “And now I try to leave it all behind. But you still haunt me, no matter where I go.”

You ran a hand through your hair, exhaling shakily. “That night… I kept talking to you like you were still there. Like maybe, somehow, you’d hear me.”

Your voice dropped to a whisper as you repeated your drunken plea. “I know it’s getting late, girl, I don’t care right now. I tried to call you on the phone, but you don’t pick up.”

The weight of it all came crashing down again, and you looked up at the stone, tears streaming down your face. “I lost you, Nat. And I lost my mind. And now I’m trying to leave it… I’m trying so damn hard. But you… you still haunt me. No matter where I go.”

Your hands trembled as you reached for the photo again, holding it tightly to your chest. The image of her flour-covered, grinning face was a cruel reminder of everything you’d lost.

-

As you finally rose to your feet, feeling the weight of the moment, you took a deep breath. The grief, the pain, the endless ache in your chest—it was a part of you now, something you couldn’t outrun. As you stepped away from her grave, your mind replayed one final memory, a memory that cut deeper than all the rest.

Your last argument.

--

It had been after one of the most dangerous missions you’d ever been on. You’d almost died saving her, and despite everything, the first thing she’d done when you’d woken up in the medbay wasn’t to hold you or to tell you how grateful she was. It was to push you away.

“Tasha, what’s wrong?” you had asked, your voice weak but desperate to understand.

She had avoided your gaze, her arms folded across her chest, her eyes scanning the floor as if she couldn’t bear to meet yours.

“Maybe it’s a mistake,” she had muttered, barely above a whisper. “Maybe it’s a mistake if we let the clock break.”

You had frowned, completely confused. “What? What the hell are you talking about?”

Her lips had tightened, and she had taken a deep breath before meeting your eyes. There was a coldness in her stare that hadn’t been there before, a defensive barrier she hadn’t needed with you. “We’ve been through so much, and I… I’m scared, okay?”

You had shaken your head, trying to wrap your mind around the words. “Scared? Scared of what? Us?”

She had nodded slightly, the hesitation in her voice more painful than you ever thought it would be. “I’ve been thinking about it. Everything in my mind… everything in my mind is telling me that it’s a mistake.”

The words had hit you like a punch to the gut.

“What the hell? No! You’re wrong, Nat. This—us—this isn’t a mistake. We’re solid. We’re gonna be okay.”

But she had shaken her head, her eyes welling with tears. “You don’t get it,” she had whispered. “I’m trying to protect you. I’m trying to keep you from getting hurt. If we keep going like this…” She couldn’t finish the thought. She didn’t want to.

You had pushed forward, your frustration and confusion bleeding into anger. “So you’re just gonna shut me out? After everything? After I almost died to save you?” Your voice had risen, your chest tightening with a mix of hurt and disbelief. “You don’t get to pull away from me, Natasha. I’m not going anywhere. We’re in this together. Always.”

Her face had faltered then, the tightness in her features melting just enough for you to see the raw fear she was hiding.

“I know you think that. I know you believe that. But everything in my mind, everything in my mind is telling me…” Her voice had cracked as she choked out the last words, her tears spilling over as she struggled to admit what was hurting her most. “That it’s a mistake… and it ends in heartbreak.”

The silence between you had been suffocating. It hadn't been the first time she had ever admitted something so vulnerable, something so painfully real, yet this time it was different. You had stood there, frozen, trying to process her words. You had wanted to reach out, to hold her, to make her understand that none of that mattered, that you were stronger than fear.

You had taken a deep breath, your hands shaking as you had gotten off the bed and stepped closer to her, trying to close the gap that had formed between you both. “No. No, Nat. You’re not listening to me. You’re not the one who gets to decide what happens between us. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not. We’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna fight this together. You and me. Always.”

Her face had softened then, her breath shaky as she met your gaze, her shoulders sagging, finally giving in. “I don’t want to lose you.”

You had wrapped your arms around her, pulling her in close as you whispered, “You won’t. I’m here, Nat. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll figure this out. Together.”

She had clung to you, tears soaking your shirt, her face buried in your neck. You had held her tight, reassuring her over and over, “We’re gonna be okay. I’m not going anywhere. We’re in this together. Forever, you hear me?”

And in that moment, the tension that had been hanging between you two slowly started to fade, replaced with the warmth of your embrace and the quiet certainty that, no matter what, you would find your way back to each other.

“Together.” She had whispered, her voice thick with emotion, and you had nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over you.

You had pulled back slightly to look her in the eye. “Always.”

And with that, you both had finally breathed, both of you knowing that no matter what came next, you would face it together—united, strong, and ready for whatever the world threw at you.

--

And now, standing at her grave, you could only wish you had more time to make it all right. You could still feel her arms around you, the weight of her presence in your soul.

But she was gone, and you were left to pick up the pieces.

“Guess who got the heartbreak, Nat.” you whispered bitterly, the words more for yourself than for her.

And with a last look at the stone, at least for this week, you turned around, pocketing the picture of you too.

If you could turn back time and make it alright, you would, but you couldn't

---

.

[radioactiverats]

Curious question, (First, I love your mentor Starscream x seeker reader fics) what would it be like if Thundercracker and Skywarp were around? Because I keep imagining them as those weird uncles who decided to annoy Starscream by pulling reader into their shenanigans.

Hello, first of all thank you so much for reading! I absolutely love the idea of elite uncles. Starscream moaning that Skywarp has led you astray (shitty flying habits. Taking you out for your first drink of engex and trying to hide the fact that ur shitfaced before Starscream comes to skin you both. Oooh there's an idea). For now my brain vomited this out but thank u for the prompt I will prob return to it again!!

------

You’ve never formally met Starscream’s trine. The first reason being that he is fiercely protective of you, even if he’ll never admit it. Despite the bond he shares with his trine, he wants to keep outsider interference to a minimum - he gets one chance at keeping you safe, and if even one of Skywarp’s pranks go awry… in the privacy of his own processor, Starscream has never dared to finish that thought.

However, things have changed. As Megatron’s bloodthirstiness grows by the day, Starscream, like any good tactician, knows that the current strategy won’t work for much longer. With only him standing between you and Megatron’s idle and violent whims, he is regrettably forced to admit that he needs help to guarantee your survival. So what if a teensy part of him doesn’t want to share your attention? If you offline, he won’t have any of your attention at all.

As SIC, any overt moves will attract Megatron’s attention - so Starscream finds a tactical excuse. Your first group mission, he proposes under the guise of ‘training’ - to tag along with the Elite Trine.

Starscream is incredibly stiff when he informs you of the meeting - he’s usually forthcoming with details in your presence as he rants freely about something or other. But this time, he remains oddly tight-lipped, refusing to tell you who you’re about to see.

“As long as it’s not Megatron, I think it’ll be fine,” You finally mutter when you grow exasperated with his evasiveness. It seems to ease the mood a little because Starscream pauses, and you watch some of the tension bleed from his wings.

“It’s not,” He says at last. “Thank Primus for that.”

With that out of the way, you assure yourself it can't be that bad, beginning to grow curious as you follow Starscream to the open, grassy plain that has now become very familiar to you. Would it be someone you already knew? Or someone you’ve never met before?

Starscream stops when you reach the scuffed circle of earth that has more or less been forcibly converted into a landing pad. A sudden gust of wind ruffles the dry grass and Starscream nods curtly, although the expression on his faceplate seems slightly pinched. “Here they come.”

The distant roar of jet engines reach your audials and you squint as you spy to rapidly approaching blurs from the horizon. Blue and… was that… purple? There’s only two jets with this colour scheme that you know of. Your helm whips up to stare at Starscream in disbelief, but he stubbornly continues to stare straight ahead, optics tracking the approaching jets.

The clicking and whirring of transformation replaces the screech of fiery thrusters - with an impact that shakes the very earth, Skywarp and Thundercracker are standing before you. It's your first time being face to face with them - you're instantly struck by how similar they look to Starscream, all at once familiar and unfamiliar. It's uncanny, and you shrink back a little, choosing instead to study the freshly turned dirt circle around you. At least your landing pad is much bigger now.

“Screamer!”

“You call that a landing?” Screamer snaps. “I’ve seen sparklings do better than that.”

“Aw, lay off,” Thundercracker mutters. “It’s been ages since we last met.”

He turns to Skywarp. “But he’s right, you know.”

“Hey!”

The Elite Trine. To ordinary seekers, they were the stuff of legend - that aside though, you were busy drinking in this side of Starscream. Arms crossed, trading banter with Thundercracker - more relaxed than you’d ever seen him. Distracted, you don’t notice Skywarp sidling closer to you, and you yelp when his voice comes right next to your audial.

“This the ‘sparkling’?”

Starscream whips around so fast that you can’t help but flinch at the further damage done to your landing pad.

"Hello," you greet awkwardly. Should you be going for formality? You may have the privilege of being familiar with Starscream, but these are still your superiors, after all. Skywarp, however, has no such qualms, a smirk on his faceplate as he slings an arm around your shoulders. “So you’re the one Screamer won’t stop talking about, huh?” You blink, and the words are out before you can stop them. “He talks about me?”

You both look over at Starscream, who’s looking more and more constipated by the nanoklik, an undeniable flush of energon on his faceplate dampening the might of his scowl - you looking with an expression of puppy-eyed wonder and Skywarp with a shit-eating grin.

“Sure he does. He tells us tons of stuff - okay, okay - stop glaring at me like that. Does he talk about us? You know who I am?”

“Um,” You say. Of course you know who he is. But Starscream has… not talked about them, for reasons that he has deliberately kept from you. You’re not sure where you stand in this, but before you really begin to flounder, Thundercracker mercifully comes to your rescue.

“Let go, Skywarp,” He scolds. “You’re throttling the poor thing.” You gratefully stagger towards Starscream, who’d already taken a step forwards when Skywarp sulkily releases you - his enthusiasm had been rapidly turning into a very friendly headlock. Thundercracker sighs, finally turning to you.

“My designation is Thundercracker. We are a trine - you don’t need to worry about formalities. Your trust in Starscream can be extended to us, too.”

You know his designation as well, of course, but find yourself nodding along to the gentle cadence of his tone. It seemed that Thundercracker had a way of making others feel at ease. Even Starscream, whose wings had been twitchy all week in preparation to tell you of the meeting - was looking calm. Well, calmer. He’d nodded at you as Thundercracker spoke, looking relieved that someone more well-versed in emotions had translated his intentions into words before he had to do it himself.

Tentatively, you decide that you like them - independent of their relationship to Starscream. The more time you spend with them, the more distinct they're becoming, in personality, in the details of their frames and faceplates.

“What he said,” Skywarp added, serious for a nanoklik before promptly growing bored of the conversation. All three of you watch with trepidation as his expression grows mischievous.

“Hey, kid. You like me best, right?”

Starscream’s wings promptly flare, EM field prickly as the cacti in the Terran desert. This escapes absolutely nobody’s notice, and Skywarp cackles as Thundercracker buries his faceplate in a servo to emit a long-suffering sigh. You shuffle closer to Starscream as Thundercracker wearily goes to haul Skywarp up from where he’d collapsed in howling laughter on the ground.

“You’ll always be my favourite,” You mumble.

The pulse of his EM field reaches you even if he’s drawn it tightly against his plating.

“Yes, well,” He splutters, suddenly caught off guard. “I… I should hope so.”

Feelings are neither of your strong suits, but the silence that falls on you both is companionable and you allow yourself to enjoy Skywarp’s antics, Thundercracker’s exasperated attempts to get him to behave.

“Okay! Okay,” Skywarp wheezes. “I’m done. You should have seen the look on your faceplate, Screamer-”

“Why don’t we get down to business?” Thundercracker interrupts quickly.

“Thank you,” Starscream growls. He sighs dramatically, but his wings remain relaxed, hip cocked. You glance over at Thundercracker and Skywarp. Thundercracker shakes his head fondly, and Skywarp winks at you. There’s a strange sense of unity, a comfort in knowing that you’re all familiar enough with Starscream to know that the irritation is merely an act. Like you've been let in on a precious secret.

Starscream strides leisurely over to his trine, the three of them standing in front of you. It’s a takeoff formation - Starscream in the lead, flanked by Thundercracker and Skywarp. It’s the most common flight formation for trines, but it seems that they’ve purposely left an open space towards the back. A flash of recognition overtakes your processor - you’d studied this one night in the academy, holed up in the library. Trine formations were designed to be flexible, and one of the adaptations allowed the inclusion of a fourth when necessary.

There’s a glint in Starscream’s optics as he addresses you, a hand on his cocked hip.

“Your mission,” He drawls, “Is to keep up.”

[chimneyz]

To Think We Could Stay the Same

Words: 30,684 and Counting | 7 out of 15 Chapters

Evan 'Buck' Buckley/Tommy Kinard

post episode 8x06 | angst with happy ending | make up

Pain radiated across Buck’s leg, it wasn’t as often his leg was in pain these days, but when he was in pain, it shot him down, crushing him in excruciating waves. Today happened to be one of those days, and it was a bad one. Buck hasn’t left his bed in hours, waiting out the pain. The meds he took didn’t seem to help at all, leaving him in tears as he gripped the pillow.  He was supposed to be on a date right now, he and Tommy had plans to go hiking. They loved to hike. It became one of his favorite things to do with Tommy. They would talk for hours and hours as they gazed upon the beauty of nature around them. Tommy even got in the habit of picking one of the wild flowers they would come across, pressing them and placing them in a frame, labeled with which trail they went on. They have been on three so far, which wasn't much but they have only been together for a little over three weeks. A pit of guilt grew in his stomach when he texted Tommy less than an hour ago that they had to postpone their date. He hated that he had to do that, he hated that his leg was crushed all those years ago, he hated that he still felt the consequences to this day. Buck didn't tell Tommy why he had to delay it, he felt embarrassed, that the pain from all those years ago still sneaks up behind him every once in a while. He knows he needs to tell Tommy eventually, but not yet.  Buck could hear the door open below, who the hell was here?  “Evan?”  Shit, Tommy was here, how the hell did he get in?  Tommy emerged from the stairs with multiple bags in his hands.  “Tommy? How did you get in here?” Buck croaked still clinging on to the pillow.  “Eddie lent me his keys to your place, he said you have days where you can't get out of bed because of your leg.”  Shit, he wasn't supposed to know, not yet at least. Sure he told Tommy about the fire engine crushing his leg but he didn't say he still felt the lingering effects years later. He wasn't supposed to know. He'll have to talk to Eddie about it later.  “It's fine, I'm fine,” Buck muttered. 

continue on ao3

or start from the beginning here

SUMMARY: The breakup was harder to deal with than they had expected, both Evan 'Buck' Buckley and Tommy Kinard now have to face the new chapter of their lives alone. It seems like the universe has other plans though.

tag list (if you want to be added or removed please interact or remove your interaction with this post)

@buckhastwohands, @giallos, @grimmsdead, @dangerouscupcakeperfection, @brokenpiecesof

@geekwarrior107,@bidisasterevankinard, @mountedeverest, @samas8, @rosyhoneydew

@a-mel0n, @here-be-fics, @mmso-notlikethat

[clausenauto]

Wondering how do you know if your engine is going bad? The auto experts at Clausen Automotive can provide advice about needed engine service.

[salty-software-engineer]

Man I just finished Babel and I was excited to read discussions online because there's so much going on in it with so many little things and just....angry white people. Everywhere. Truly a dead dove moment.

[bueris]

okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead

[gilbertscarrot]

I try my best to keep things positive on here, but the hate comments for TLM '23 are ridiculous lol

[gatheringkeepsakes]

.

[we-re-always-alright]

okay the misinformation on the original reddit post AND in the reblogs is driving me bonkers I have to correct some things. (thank you @froginakettle for inspiring me to bring this out of the tags.)

I work in this industry. I’ve worked in this industry for almost a decade in a variety of departments. this whole post is bunk. (obligatory disclaimer: these comments are my own and not representative of my employer whom I also will not name)

to start: credit karma is not a credit bureau. it’s basically an advertising site masquerading as a credit website. sure some of its tips and tricks are identical to the big 3 bureaus but with a sole goal of a: collecting your data (not private data) and b: sending you offers. it’s how credit karma makes money. what is an offer? it’s an ad (or email or pop up or WHATEVER) that is dependent on your credit score offering you a great rate on whatever (or credit monitoring or identity protection, it’s truly dependent on your score and the goal of the offer). the ads you see on the sidebar and as part of marketing emails from credit karma are there because you’re using the site and authorizing the data to be shown. they eat the cost of providing you a free score so they can advertise and/or sell marketing data. (not necessarily bad, just want to offer perspective).

which brings me to the next point: there are thousands of credit scores. probably tens of thousands. what do I mean? each bureau has their own set of scores (ex. TransUnion and Equifax have VantageScore 3.0) then there’s FICO scores (FICO 5-9 iirc), and then each of those scores has flavors. are you getting a car loan? check your credit karma Vantage Score and it says one thing. maybe Toyota will pull your FICO 8 Auto score. is your loan being serviced by the bank instead? then Bank of America will probably use their FICO 7 Auto score, or Experian’s FICO 7 Auto score. decide to go to your local First Community Bank for a loan instead? they give you their Equifax Auto Vantage Score. each of these scores has variations on it. different applied factors, alternative data, trending etc. think of it as different levers that amplify and nullify certain factors. (I’m not here to debate if this is good or bad. there’s arguments to be made for both, especially around underserved populations. I’m just explaining how it works.). this is also how the bureaus make their money. by offering different best fit scores for the dozens of different credit scenarios, they sell their ability to score and model more consumers, more accurately, as well as verify identities for critical transactions and prevent fraud based on previous patterns.

next: not every job requires a ‘hard pull’ on your credit (hard pulls/hard inquiries can sometimes affect your credit score (sometimes) because it’s what you do when you’re actively gaining credit. soft pulls do not affect. the bureaus have more info on this). typically, though not the same in every state and/or country, a hard inquiry generally is for government jobs OR highly regulated jobs. why? well. who caught the mob??? the IRS and the Postal Service. a good way to do a sniff test on someone who might be handling money in large quantities, handling PII (personally identifiable information), handling HPII (health PII), or be responsible for acting ethically might be to see if they have huge amounts of debt from gambling, mysterious payday loans, dozens of credit cards, etc. if you have a lot of debts, mysterious payments, funky stuff, you might not be the safest choice. (again, not saying it’s good or bad. just presenting the industry logic.)

next: some of the info about disputes IS correct. the bureaus are required to respond within 30 days. HOWEVER, they are only required to correct something if it is FACTUALLY incorrect.

example of a bad dispute: I don’t like that I have a high interest credit card. I missed some payments but generally pay on time. I file a dispute because that reddit post said I should. conclusion: they don’t drop it off. what the bank is reporting matches the credit report. there is nothing to correct.

example of a good dispute: it says my car loan is for 40,000 but it’s actually for 38,500. this post inspires me to review my full credit report (free annually for each bureau at annualcreditreport.com) and check for inaccuracies so I file a dispute. conclusion: they correct the information in the report, provide notice of the correction, and make sure any time your report is pulled (and the debt is on your report) the correction is mentioned.

additionally, you’re also required to be involved in this process. you’ll need to provide documentation, follow up calls, emails, etc. that the bureau needs from you to investigate your dispute. then multiply that by 3 if the item is on all 3 reports. a dispute is not a magic wand. also if there’s an error with the banks data, (ex. your balance is wrong) disputing it at the bureau will not do anything since the data in the report and the data at the bank matches. you’ll have to get the bank to fix it before you can dispute it with the bureaus.

next: volume. oh my god this one gave me a laugh. do you know how much data these companies ingest and spit out??? we’re talking a few petabytes for each bureau, every year. it’s not just you make a payment and they add it to their list. it’s everything, it’s addresses and name changes and driver’s licenses and payments across thousands of sources for everyone in the country (hundreds of millions, not to mention if they’re international). times 3. I’ve been in the NOC (network operations center) for one of the big three and it looks like fucking nasa. dozens of people on 12 hour, rotating shifts making sure the data flows at 99.99% uptime. they don’t have a ‘slow’ period. even if everyone on this post sent in a dispute, which would also be extremely hard considering the amount of thin files, they wouldn’t bat an eye. this is their every day. their sole purpose is a: making sure the data is safe and correct. and b: making sure if they get a dispute they resolve it quickly. plus, the more you use their services, the better they look, because they’re doing what they’re supposed to.

side bar: thin files. a lot of people are thin files, more than you think. basically it means the bureaus have info on who you are but next to no info for which they can score you with accuracy/best fit score. basically you don’t use credit, you don’t have debt, but you also don’t have a high score because there’s nothing TO score. weirdly, the ultra wealthy have this problem, since they pay in full vs on loan. it’s good and bad. bad if the company doesn’t use alternative data and you really need credit to survive (alternative data like renting history, cellphone payments, soon to be added BNPL, etc can turn a thin file into a better score) and good because you want to stick it to the industry and don’t use credit at all.

secondary sidebar: your small local credit union gets all their stuff from the big three. it’s expensive, data intensive and time consuming to do what they do (update, aggregate, collate, verify, etc etc). way easier to just supply small local credit union’s data to the big three and get specialized info back.

addendum: this is US focused. other countries have similar but NOT identical systems. think cousins but not twins. they have their own systems, bureaus, regulations, the whole nine yards.

second addendum: you can work with debt collectors to get them to forgive/drop debt. doing it at a busy time might help, I have never worked with collections. but it won’t affect your credit score necessarily. debt collectors are not legally required to report a collection to the bureaus. however, the bureaus are legally required to report accurate information supplied to them from debtors (banks, dealerships, etc including debt collectors). debt collectors choose to do so so you are incentivized to pay back the debt. paying it back does not mean your credit score will change, and definitely not immediately. (Experian has a great article explaining this. again, not making a good/bad statement on this. it’s how it is. if you want it to change, talk to your congressperson.)

last: some general tips:

freeze your credit if you’re not using it (actively applying for credit, loan, job, rental, etc). this prevents people (manipulative family, strangers, criminals) from being able to use your credit. a freeze can last for up to 10 years and you can temporarily lift (and re-freeze) for specific dates. if you have kids, this is great for fighting synthetic fraud or in response to data breachs

do you actually NEED credit monitoring? it’s truly up to you. in my experience, freezing is usually good enough for most people. if you’ve had your identity stolen OR you have malicious family members, it’s probably worth it to be proactive rather than reactive.

just go look at the bureau’s websites. they tell you how to improve your score. they explain the stuff I said but with more stock photos. I will warn you: it’s not as fun or sexy as trying to ‘pull one over on the establishment.’ it’s mostly low debt to income ratio and low revolving debt and making payments on time

don’t want to use an evil bureau’s website? go look at the CFPB (Consumer Financial Protection Bureau) website. it’s the same info but with a .gov and different stock photos.

Queuing this for January too.

[philsservice]

Wondering how do you know when your engine is going bad? Ask a professional auto technician for advice about a pending engine repair.

[zipquips]

.

[frogeyedape]

I ran out of tags XD Good Omens Spoilers Beware! (time for dinner now)

The Magic Trick You Didn’t See: Being An Analysis of Good Omens Season 2

(or: Neil Gaiman, Your Brain is Gorgeous But I Have Cracked Your Sneaky Little Code And Have You Dead To Rights*) (*Maybe)

***

Soooooo I just spent the last 48 hours having a BREATHTAKING GALAXY BRAIN EPIPHANY about Good Omens Season 2 and feverishly writing a fuckin16,000 word essay about the incredible magic trick that @neil-gaiman pulled off. 

Yes, it’s long, but I PROMISE your brains will explode. Do you want to know how magic works? Do you want to know what Metatron’s deal is (I’m like 99% sure of this and it’s EXTREMELY FUCKING GOOD)? Do you want to know about the Mystery of the Vanishing Eccles Cakes and the big fat beautiful clue I found in the opening credits? Do you go through the whole inventory of Chekov’s Firearm & Heavy Artillery Discount Warehouse? 

Here is the essay, go read it: https://docs.google.com/document/d/193IXS11XN46lziHRb6eUpM17yK0BQkRqke1Wh64A_e0/ When ur done u can tell me I’m an insane crackpot, and u know what, i won’t even be offended

In case you don’t know whether you want to bother reading the whole enormous thing on google docs, I’ve put the first couple sections of it under the cut. JUST TRUST ME OKAY, HEAR ME OUT, THIS IS VERY EXTREMELY COOL, NEIL IS GOOD AT HIS JOB–

Keep reading

[livvivviss]

lazy people probably won't want to read it 🙄🙄 HAHSHDA

How to shift: EMBODY YOUR DR SELF!! ☀️

Fuck the five senses

Most of us always focus on the process of shifting, the symptoms, the 5 senses, overanalyze our process and being very critical of ourselves, we try to analyze why we don't shift, giving ourselves excuses and explanations Saying "I didn't do enough", "I should have tried harder" I wish you guys to STOP THAT.

Actually, none of the above matters. The reason you think the methods, meditation, etc matters it's because of your assumptions and beliefs because you didn't get there and you think "you're doing something wrong" and you ARE NOT, leave that mentality behind and stop seeing shifting as a task or obligation, as something with steps that must be followed to the letter.

Stop and get back to BASICS, When you are trying to get to your DR, stop thinking and focus on "I have to get there" just think that YOU ARE THERE, think ABOUT YOU, about your dr self, who are you in your dr? This is why it is very important that you like your dr's self, and not just an "improved 2.0 me, now with ultra-powered engines" because it just makes you feel uncomfortable, and you need to feel comfortable with being your dr self, You must like being yourself, you must know yourself, dive into your brain and connect with your dr self and with who you're there.

And when you connect with who you are there, forget about everything else, forget how many breaths you have to take, what number you are on, or if you visualize enough, just connect with you, with who you are. By connecting with your 5 senses and with the environment, you are not traveling, I mean this is okay but when you're trying to shift, the shift it's in the mindset, not in the around, it happens in your subconscious, it happens when you become that person, you are becoming your dr self not your environment, WHO ARE YOU? Connect with that person. Start with "Who am I?" "What am I doing here?" "What is my name?" Until it becomes a natural flow, connect with your thoughts until it becomes a natural flow. You did it, you've shifted, when you are fully connected to your dr self and you no longer need to think like your dr self thinks, you are there, and nothing else matters, fuck if "your environment tells you otherwise", It doesn't matter what you see, hear or feel anymore, you are in your dr and you are your dr's person. You know that you're there because of your mindset, enjoy that because that is shifting, that is change, YOU HAVE TO CHANGE, this is manifesting, and manifestation happens instantly when you change your mindset.

The process of shifting doesn't have to take a long time, it doesn't have to take years, the only reason it takes you so long is because you see it as homework. Get out of that mindset, connect with yourself, change your mindset, delate everything else, stop making everything so difficult. "I didn't shift last night because-" STOP, there's no reason you haven't shifted. We shift in every decision we make, when you go to bed YOU HAVE ALREADY SHIFTED, but you are not going to accept it and you MUST accept it.

Why you should embody your dr self (good for lazy shifters):

You should try to connect with your dr self instead of using the five senses or connecting with your dr it's because:

1. It's a bit backwards to try to connect with your surroundings instead of yourself. As I said before, you are not shifting to be your environment, you are shifting to be you, to be your dr self. (Although I'm not saying that using all 5 senses is a bad thing, but you shouldn't focus only on that)

2. Embodying your dr self bypasses all the extra shit about you just lying in your bed trying to shift. The moment you connect with your dr's self, you have already shifted, because if you were not in your dr you would not be able to access the thoughts of your dr self. And when you are focused on this, you are no longer focused on the symptoms and that is the best thing that can happen to you because YOU SHOULDN'T FOCUS ON THE SYMPTOMS because it's not a physical process, physical change comes after the change of mentality. Connecting with your dr self's thoughts is much better than memorizing affirmations and meditating, it's more natural, you enjoy it more and it's less tiring.

3. In the case that your physical environment does not end up changing, you end up connecting with your dr self (THAT IS SO IMPORTANT) you alredy had the mindset shift. And many people when they start doing all this, they start having dreams about themselves being their dr self, and having experiences in their dreams being their dr self, and that is SO GOOD (it's literally happening to me) Taking this post into account, I assure you that YOU WILL SEE CHANGES YES OR YES this is a connecting point.

• Please make this post viral, shifters need to know this 🙏🙏

This was a summary of @shaysplanett's 7 and 10 minute videos. We love her (she was really helpful to me)

[loverafey]

first time on his bike ! bf!rafe x reader.

          ꕀ warnings - reader's afraid of bikes, soft rafe ugh he's so :(, fluff! wc - 629.

“you’re what?”

“scared of bikes…” the way you spoke so meekly just added onto rafe’s initial shock. he didn’t know why something as simple as you having never ridden a bike before was so surprising for him. perhaps his own bike had become such a norm, a permanent mark on his life that he’d genuinely forgotten some preferred cards or just walking around.

“baby… why didn’t you tell me earlier?” his tone took a more softer tone, hands gently cupping your face as he felt you lean into him, avoiding his eyes. he’d planned on taking you for a late night drive on his bike, all the way to the beach so you both could sit down on wooden dock and stare up at the stars. talk about anything, everything. of course he was not aware of this fact before, that you were scared of bikes.

“didn’t wanna disappoint you… i know how much you love your bike.” you tried to reason, earning a scoff from him that held no sort of malice whatsoever.

“fuck this bike. you’re more important.” he grumbled, his fingers absent-mindedly playing with a loose strand. “would you like to spend the night at home instead? or take the truck?”

“no!” you blurted out louder than you’d intended to, ears heating up as you stared up at him insistently. “i still want to go on your bike.”

rafe stayed silent for a moment, contemplating. he didn’t want you doing anything you disliked, but seeing you being so sweetly stubborn made him smile. his baby. he nodded after a while, holding onto your hand as he led you to his sleek bike. “fine, i’ll help ya, ‘kay?” his hands carefully held onto your hips as you clumsily climbed up the bike, scared that it’d wobble and collapse, causing you to fall down.

“relax, it’s locked.” he reassured you, making sure that you were nicely seated before grabbing a spare helmet and putting it onto your head, chuckling as your eyes peered at him through the glass. “gonna buy you a special helmet of your own tomorrow, alright? this one’s boring.”

“alright!” the excitement in your voice was undeniable, your eyes following his moves as he sat in front of you on the bike and put his own helmet, unable to help but bite your bottom lip at the sight of his arms bulging slightly beneath his shirt as he held onto the handles, the engine of the bike roaring once he started it.

“hold onto me, alright? i promise you’ll be alright.” your arms cautiously wrapped around his waist at his words, head resting against his shoulder as he started driving out of tannyhill, the cool air whipping around you both calming you down. your arms stayed tight around him, your body getting more relaxed as you both drove on the road.

his hand twisted the handle, causing the bike to go a bit faster, earning a startled squeak from you. “rafe!” you gasped at the sudden rush of adrenaline, rafe laughing in front of you, wild and carefree. this was his speciality after all.

“it’s fun, isn’t it?” he spoke loudly over the loud wind.

“yes!” you yelled back happily, fingers bunched up into the front of his shirt as he continued to drive over to the nearby dock, stopping by it. pulling off his helmet, he hopped off and gently took off your helmet, watching the way you were panting softly.

“was it too much?” he pressed a kiss onto the back of your hand as you shook your head, unable to hold back a big smile. he helped you off, holding you securely in his arms as you hugged onto him.

“it wasn’t so bad.” you mumbled into his chest, sighing in contentment.