#how do i save a miracle ~ starter call

[mariiposas]

tags - general

[sonotkari]

Gaeguri

Kang Haerin x Fem Reader

[ Synopsis ]

Frogs. Frogs. Frogs. Everywhere in Kang Haerin's gym bag. You find it cute, and you can't help but point it out to the girl.

Fluff

[ Word Count ]

3.3k yes, it's surprisingly long. I'm surprised as well.

[ a/n ]

Mainly focused on Readers point of veiw! This is based on one of my friends when I pointed out how cute their duck key chain was and she started yapping at rapid speed about it lol Everyone knows how Haerin's fond of frogs so /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

If you have cute keychains, dis for u bae <3

"Do I really have to go?" I protest with a slight whine as I look at the Aussie girl standing with her arms holding a firm grip on her waist as she huffs. "Yes Y/n, you have to be there" I groaned a bit, sighing in defeat, knowing there was not much I could do to change her mind. "But Hanni, I'll be all alone there" I crossed my arms, sighing again for the millionth time of the day. "I don't wanna awkwardly watch you guys like some loner- no offense to the people out there but- oh you get what I mean!" Hanni rolls her eyes off with a chuckle. "You'll be fine. Danielle will be there. With the others too!" Sighing again, pinching my nose as I grumble out. "Yeah, Dani will be there but for cheer practice! And the others as well"

I felt a pair of hands grabbing my shoulder and the next thing I knew, I was shaking. "C'mon Y/n, you're rarely free after school because of stuco duties... It's a miracle the meeting got canceled today!" Hanni stops shaking me as she lets go of my shoulders. "You have to come see me play for once" "But I always watch you play-" "Not when I'm practicing" She cut me off and looked at the clock hanging on the wall of the classroom. "Shoot, if I get late this time, Ryujin will definitely kill me" Hurriedly packing her things as she took her gym bag, Hanni looked back at me once more before leaving. "And I'll be killing you if I don't see your ass there Y/n. Bye!" I was about to say something but Hanni was already sprinting her way to the gym, saving her life from the basketball captain who hates people getting late for practice.

It was an unusual day today since, for first starters, Minji apparently, had a fever last night so she couldn't come to attend school today. And since the student council couldn't do a meeting without the school president, it had to be canceled. Hanni's off to basketball practice like always. Danielle has cheer practice on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and that happens to be today. Hyein's grounded for some reason, so she has to go home straight or she'll be grounded long enough till her graduation. So that means I'm alone for today and now I have to watch Hanni's practice or else I'll be buried 6 feet underground. I opened my bag and stuffed the notes and textbooks I needed and once I was finished, I started walking my way to the gym. 

The last time I came to the gym was last season's game so it had been a while since. I quietly walked at the sides, glancing at the basketball team from time to time, where they were fully focused on their practice while finding a good spot to sit and watch in silence. My attention snapped when I heard a familiar cheerful voice call out my name. "Y/n!! You came!!" Danielle came rushing from the opposite direction, already opening her arms for a big hug like she always does with any friend she meets. And at her back following the cheery girl, was the cheer captain herself, waving her hand at me gracefully like always as she smiled with her usual soft gaze. "Hey Dani, hey Wonnie" I outed a chuckle as I felt Danielle's warm embrace along with a giggle. "Hey Y/n, isn't it pretty unusual that you're here? Aren't you busy with stuco?" Wonyoung had hugged me as well after Danielle pulled out, scooting to the side. "Yeah, you're usually really busy... What's the occasion??" The other Aussie girl had also asked me with a slightly confused tone. 

"Stuco can't do a meeting without Kim Minji so it got cancelled today" Danielle and Wonyoung both nod their heads understanding the situation with their mouths shaped like the letter O. "Minji did tell me she got a fever... I hope she's doing okay right now..." Danielle says in a worried state, Wonyoung gently rubbing the Aussie's back reassuring her. "She'll be fine in no time Danielle" I nod, agreeing with Wonyoung as I smile at Danielle. "Yeah, she'll give us a text when she's all better for sure" Wonyoung opened her phone, looking at the time on her screen as she looked at Danielle again. "Break's ending soon, we have to go back to practice" Danielle nodded and looked at me with her usual bright smile. "Well, that's our cue, Y/n... We'll see you soon?" I returned the smile at both girls. "Mhm, I'll see you guys soon... Good luck with practice!"

After I bid my goodbyes to the girls and parted ways, I looked down at the benches and saw some towels and water bottles scattered all over. That must be where they take their breaks. I walked down, one step higher than the bench, and sat there to watch them play. A few minutes had passed and the timer rang, signing that it was time for their break. The basketball team slowly walked their way to the bench, casually greeting me before taking a sip of water from their water bottles. I soon spotted Hanni hurrying her way to me with a smile. "You're actually here!" I rolled my eyes with a chuckle at her statement. "Of course, I'd be here. I don't wanna die yet" Hanni comes up my way and jokingly punches my shoulder with a scoff. She drinks water for a while before turning her attention to me. "Thanks for coming tho. I'm glad I get to see you off from being busy once in a while" I couldn't help but get soft at her words.

I really loved these tiny moments where Hanni would word it out how she cared deeply for her friends. I know she cares a lot more than anyone could ever imagine but the girl rarely puts it to words, making these moments extra special for me. "I should thank Minji for it" I expressed an unbelief-shocking face as it was my turn to punch the girl's shoulder. "Stop assaulting the poor sick girl, Hanni!" After chuckling out an apology, the Aussie girl went back to practice with the others as well, leaving me alone again to watch them in silence at the sides.

I was dazing off for a while after watching the basketball game for some time when I felt a presence coming this way. I shifted my gaze to see the girl with the familiar basketball jersey, her gym bag slinging from her shoulder as she quietly walked her way to the benches. Kang Haerin. She's one of Danielle's close friends, beside us Hanni, Minji, and Hyein. But, I never got to get close to her since every time I see her with Danielle and I interact with the Aussie girl, she suddenly disappears like thin air without Dani and I noticing. She's usually quiet and never talks unless you're close to her. And that one valid person is Danielle Marsh and Danielle Marsh only. She noticed me and we locked gaze for a moment before she shifted hers away, sitting on the bench as she plopped her gym bag on the side as well. 

My eyes noticed a certain thing on her gym bag. Well, it was hard not to actually. Frogs. Frogs. Frogs. Some were patched on the side, and some were hanging from the strap. But they were all frogs. I locked my gaze at two crocheted frog keychains that somehow looked like it was looking my way. Does Kang Haerin like frogs? No- it looks more like she loves frogs. In all of the animals she could like, it's frogs? Kang Haerin loves frogs? 

I couldn't stop myself from chuckling at this newly known fact of the girl. Kang Haerin loves frogs. How cute is that??? The girl had heard me apparently, as she turned to her shoulders, our eyes meeting again doing so. She stared at me for seconds with her big black cat eyes, probably confused, even tho she didn't look like it at all, on why I was suddenly laughing out of nowhere without anyone near me to cause it, laughing like that which totally does not sound like a creep at all. Before I left a weird impression on the girl, I slowly pointed out the crocheted frogs hanging from her gym bag. "Those little ones are cute... Do you like frogs?" I felt like I saw the girl's eyes widen a bit but then she looked down at her gym bag, to where I was pointing, and looked back at me. After some seconds, Haerin slowly nodded at me, parting her lips to say something. "They're supposed to be species called Banded Bullfrogs" 

I was surprised that she'd talk to me in the first place, but she was kind enough to tell me what species the crocheted pair was. Banded Bullfrogs. "Aren't those the ones native to southeast Asia?" I blurted out of curiosity as I was thinking about it. I'm sure I heard our biology teacher talk about it once in class. I don't remember when but I'm pretty sure... I looked back at Haerin and jolted a bit as she was now staring at me intensely. Did I say something wrong? Was my frog facts wrong? I remembered it wrong...!? I felt myself panicking inside more as I saw the girl's lips parting again, scared that she might scold me for getting the wrong facts about her beloved frogs. But instead, I was met with a light gentle tone. 

"Yeah, they are native to southeast Asia..." Relief washed all over my body as I quietly let out a breath I didn't know I was holding until now. But I couldn't help jolting again as I heard her speak up. "It's common in India and Nepal as well. It walks and digs compared to other frogs which jump mostly. They bury themselves in the dirt until it rains so they can avoid getting dry and also avoid getting eaten. Did you know, they eat small insects like ants but they can also eat beetles too? Not in the wild tho, it's kinda difficult for them to eat big things in the wild. And when they get threatened by predators like snakes, their body inflates larger than their actual size to scare them off. That's why they're called fat frogs as well" She took a quick breath before staring at me again, probably a signal that she finished what she wanted to say. I never heard Haerin speak this much before, especially when I'm not as close as she is with Danielle. I slowly nod at the facts she just rambled at me right now while shifting my gaze at the two frogs. 

"But, aren't they supposed to be more... brown?" I tilted my head slightly as I stared at the green-colored frog's eyes, somewhat staring back at me. I heard a soft sigh escaping from Haerins and fixed my gaze back on her. "Well, my mom doesn't know about frogs that much so she probably thought every frog was colored green. And I couldn't say no to using the yarn she bought for me to crochet these so..." I hummed in response as I nodded again, understanding the little frog crisis she had. The timer rang again and Shin Ryujin walked to Haerin's way while she was steadying her breaths from running around court. "Kang, you're up next..." The basketball captain says breathlessly as she puts her hands on her waist, catching her breath more properly. Haerin looked back at me for a while lastly, before standing up and walking her way to the other members. 

Sometime after, the practice had finally come to an end. Everyone started packing their gym bags and some were already heading out to go home. I stood up from my seat, about to leave the place and wait for Hanni by the school gates instead, when I felt a familiar pair of eyes gazing at me intensely, again. I glanced at the side to see Haerin staring at my soul for who knows how long and how many times now. "Are you coming again tomorrow?" The girl asked with her usual big black cat eyes piercing on me. I didn't get the question quite well, looking at her with a confused expression. "To practice. Are you here tomorrow too?" "Ahhh... No, I don't think so..." I mumbled as I pondered about tomorrow. The stuco meeting can't be postponed any longer so I think I'll be back with my duties again starting from tomorrow. "I have student council duties after school tomorrow, I think" Haerin slowly nodded, finally averting her gaze down as she did so. "I'm ready! Let's go I'm starving already..." Hanni whined with a sigh as she walked her way to me with her gym bag slung on her shoulder. "Haerin-ah!! Are you finished?" Danielle came from the other way, calling Haerin like always for them to go home as well. I locked eyes with Haerin one more time before giving her a small smile and I started heading out towards the exit with Hanni following from the back. "Since when were you close with Kang Haerin??" "Since we talked about frogs" "Huh???" 

Minji's recovery speed was rapid. She came to school the next day like she wasn't piping hot the day before. The stuco meeting was held, and after 2 long hours of duties and other work, I finally got to leave the school building. I was walking my way to the gates when I saw someone standing by, seeming to be waiting for someone. The rest had almost already gone home at this time so it's kind of unexpected for someone to wait till this hour. But then my eyes went wide, noticing who this person was, standing by the gates. "Haerin?" She noticed me and looked up from gazing down at her feet. "Who are you waiting for this hour? Almost everyone's home..." She looked at me for a while, blinking a couple of times before she spoke up. "You. I was waiting for you" "Huh? Me? Didn't basketball practice finish like an hour ago??" She slowly nodded to what I just said. "You waited for me for an entire hour?? Why? Did you need anything...?" After a few seconds of silence, she finally took something out of her bag. It was one of the crocheted frogs from yesterday. She silently handed it out to me with a nonchalant expression. "You're... giving this to me?" She silently nods again. "But isn't this important to you? You worked hard for it..." "And I want you to have it" 

I gently took the little frog from her hand and looked down at it. It was neatly crocheted with big black eyes and cute pink-tinted cheeks. A big smile was plastered on my face as I looked up at Haerin, flashing her my big smile with gratitude. "Thanks Haerin... I appreciate it..." The girl didn't utter a word and just stared at me, like usual. "But you didn't have to wait an hour for me... I feel kinda bad" Haerin shook her head to the side this time. "I chose to wait on my own. And I didn't have your number anyways" I quickly took out my phone from the pocket of my jacket and opened my contacts, handing it out to Haerin after. "If you don't mind typing yours here, I can text you later" The girl's eyes shifted on my phone and after a while, she gently took it from my hands and started typing. A few seconds later, she handed me back my phone, and I smiled back at her with a 'thank you. "So, which way do you go home?" Haerin pointed out the way and I smiled widely at her for the second time of the day. "We go the same way! Let's walk home together then" 

Haerin taught me a whole lot about frogs and how she had grown to like them. Back when she was in grade school, her friend suddenly blurted out that Haerin looked like a frog character and ever since then, she'd become a big frog lover. After we parted ways, I got home and texted Haerin. Even in texts, she would casually bring up frog facts, changing subjects from here to there in seconds. It was fun to see how the girl who was usually quiet, just piercing her gaze at people, would change into this mini biologist, teaching you that frogs aren't so good with catching prey who don't move much. Knowing her love for the cute small animal, I had an idea in mind. 

I rushed my way to the gym, panting as I looked around for one particular girl. "Oh Y/n, what are you doing here...? Aren't you supposed to be with Minji?" I looked at my side to see Wonyoung coming down towards me as she drank some from her water bottle. "I kinda ran away and now I have a span 10 minutes before she notices and gets full president mode on me..." I breathlessly say so, gaining a small chuckle from the cheer captain, crossing her arms as we speak. "So, why's the secretary of the student council running away from duties? This isn't like you Y/n..." Wonyoung chuckles again, looking at me with full of curiosity in her eyes. "I'm here for Haerin. Kang Haerin, have you seen her?" She looked around and pointed to the sides where one familiar girl was standing, finding something from her gym bag. "Thanks Wonnie! You're a lifesaver!" I quickly say so as I rushed my way to Haerin. 

"Haerin!!" I called her name out and saw her jolt a bit before looking back at me. "Y/n...?" "Hey, hi, sorry for interrupting whatever you're doing... It's just I don't have much time and Minji would kill me if she knew I neglected stucco duties-" I say all in one go and take some breaths before I'd officially pass out. Haerin didn't utter a word and just stood there, probably waiting for me to get to the point. I huffed one more time before I fixed my gaze back to the girl. "I wanted to give this to you..." I say so as I pull it out from my pocket. It was a small crocheted frog, much smaller than the one Haerin gave me. But this was in color brown. Like the Banded Bullfrogs. "It's small, and I figured out I'm bad at crocheting in a hard way so it's a lot messy but..." I chuckled softly at Haerin as I took her hand and placed it in her palms. "I got the color right... Now you actually have a Banded Bullfrog!" I was getting more nervous as seconds passed and she still hadn't uttered a thing, just staring at the small brown frog in her hands.

But it all faded away, replacing a warm feeling on my chest, when I saw her smiling. For the first time since we've talked and became close. Kang Haerin had smiled. Over my crappy frog crochet. What's happening? "Thanks, Y/n... it's adorable" She said with full affection as she gawked the frog with a big smile plastered on her face. "You're... welcome..." My heart was a beating mess, if she wasn't so focused on the frog, I know she'd be able to hear it. The timer rang and the basketball captain had called out Haerin to come. She looked back at me with a smile smaller than earlier as she quickly blurted out words before going her member's way. "I'll take good care of it, I promise" 

I silently watch her jog off to Ryujin, hearing my heartbeat still pounding loudly, knowing someone would definitely hear if they were close. I took deep breaths as I averted my gaze, landing on the green crocheted frog hanging on Haerin's gym bag which Haerin and I were matching. It's probably just me but, it felt like the frog was looking at me with a knowing expression. It's a damn crocheted frog. 

"Don't look at me like that" 

no, i didn't spend an hour googling about frogs. what are u talking about?

[casanovawrites]

rp sentence starters from tell my therapist i'm fine by bishop briggs

MY SEROTONIN

in the middle of the night, every minute, every time, all i think about is you.

in the bottom of the wine, all i think about is you.

i see your face when i leave.

you're what i need, my baby.

tell me you want me and need me too.

tell me that i'm somebody you can't lose.

what can i do? what can i do?

i'm not myself without you.

people are asking me why there's an emptiness inside.

come on, be calm, be cool.

do something you like, do something you used to do.

i'm done lying every time, but i'm not fucking fine.

I'M NOT A MACHINE

hope is a devil that's in disguise.

bless my heart and hope to die.

i'm not really sure you're ready.

i'm stuck to the walls of a cage, trading in my gentle for power and rage.

when i think of us, all of the pain that i've seen, i just want a minute to scream.

i am not a machine.

i'm scared of the times that i'm living in.

how i would kill for a "thank you."

bless my heart and all i give.

i'm not really sure i'm ready.

love me, hate me, bite my body till i'm bleeding.

suck the air out of my lungs, but i'm still breathing.

my heart's still beating more than metal parts and pieces.

GOOD FOR ME

i can be your all star.

if i could have it all, i'd bottle it.

i'd throw away my fear and swallow it.

even if i'm scared, i'll follow it.

i'm dreaming of what i really wanted, all that i'm supposed to be.

all i ever wanted, was it ever good for me?

all that i love, all that i need, all that i've been was never good for me.

MONA LISA ON A MATRESS

hell is knowing that you're perfect just the way you are.

is it crazy how we'd go and do it all again, knowing we were done before we ever had a chance?

i was dating someone who just didn't understand.

it's like you knew me before i walked in.

i want you to knock my lights out, kiss me so hard 'til we pass out.

just want to feel something like right now.

didn't wanna see what was underneath, all of the warning signs, my heart was blind.

i made up my mind.

want you to light up a million matches, burn out my heart until it's ashes.

i lost my innocence, learning how to love again.

we were done before we started.

didn't wanna be just friends, i just wanted love again.

HERE COMES THE FLOOD

they said, "don't leave before the miracle."

all of my pain was more than physical.

i couldn't see the future for me, even with the lights on.

was dead in the dark, needed a spark, something to hold on to.

never thought it could be this good.

never thought it was in my blood.

knew it wouldn't be easy to let go completely.

come heal me.

i was on my way to rock bottom.

making friends with my demons, no problem.

i was deafened by silence.

GROWING PAINS

i've been feeling something pulling at my skin.

i've been feeling restless lately.

maybe you could say i'm changing.

my mind's aching, wrestling with what i've been facing.

i can see it all so clearly now.

when my heart's breaking and my voice shaking, i won't be afraid.

it hurts so much to change, but that's just growing pains.

i can thank that younger me. she really did a lot of hurting, so i could do a lot of learning.

looking back, i'm grateful that i made it through.

SHUT IT OFF

my mind is broken by design.

i'm sick of saying, "i'm fine."

i'm done smiling, done being soft.

i'm screaming straight from my chest.

i'm wicked, no need for rest.

don't call me, don't waste your breath.

big men who talk like little boys say i'm too much.

i'm the one talking now. i'm not backing down.

can you hear me? then shut your mouth.

i'm like lipstick on a gun. so hard, so pretty, so cold.

so funny watching you run.

ISOLATED LOVE

my hard drive is full of pain from you.

i'm out of breath running from my youth.

how could i know who i was saving when i didn't know who i was?

this love hurts like hell.

isolated love, no one else can tell.

when we are young, we get fucked up.

UNDONE

i've been running away.

i'm scared of the downfall.

if you saw all of my damages, would you know how to manage it?

sooner more than later, i'll come undone.

i'm on the edge of a meltdown, if i'm really being honest.

said you'd love my best and worst. congratulations, you got it.

i'm ready to go, ready to leave.

don't look at me. i can't save me. i'm losing my mind.

[sentinelprompts]

━━ ⟢ SENTENCE STARTERS : WARRIORS ( 2024 ). pulled from the genius lyrics of eisa davis and lin manuel miranda's concept album, based on the 1979 movie of the same name. feel free to edit as needed.

❛ at midnight, there’s a gathering after dark in [place]. ❜

❛ the truce is on. no weapons but your fists, she insists. ❜

❛ time it just right and you might just survive the night. ❜

❛ warriors, come out to play ! ❜

❛ miracles can happen when we gather in the dark. ❜

❛ ‘cause you could do ninety-nine things right, but meet the wrong cop at night and it’s brrap on sight, ya dig ? ❜

❛ survival all depends upon the corner you run to. ❜

❛ what a fuckin’ pain, takin’ a train to a boat to another train ? ❜

❛ come out, come out… ❜

❛ when shit goes down, we intervene. ❜

❛ why the fuck we gotta go uptown ? ❜

❛ we’ve never gone that far uptown… ❜

❛ if the night goes sideways… ❜

❛ hey ! you better have my back, ‘cause this is happening. ❜

❛ [name], you bring the cans and keep taggin’ our sweet graphic. ❜

❛ anybody testin’ these hands will see static, capiche ? ❜

❛ leave your weapons back at home, don’t pack no chrome. ❜

❛ oh please, you know my style. ❜

❛ they call me cowgirl ‘cause i like to ride ! ❜

❛ i’m the youngest and the prettiest, they call me [name] ! ❜

❛ i got two f’s for y’all, fuck around, find out ! ❜

❛ there’s peace so far, but i’m in your corner if that shit goes down. ❜

❛ can you count, suckas ? ❜

❛ nobody’s wastin’ nobody, and that’s a miracle. ❜

❛ can you see how strong we can be if we can agree that it’s all our turf ? ❜

❛ imagine what i had to do to stay on top. ❜

❛ now imagine what we could do if you and your crew got with me and my crew - ❜

❛ you are brothers and sisters now, and anywhere you go, you are home free. ❜

❛ no, i didn’t do this ! i’d never do this ! ❜

❛ i don’t see a way to escape from the crowd ! ❜

❛ get away from the crowd ! make your way downtown ! ❜

❛ go the other way or there’s no getting out ! ❜

❛ who will save us now ? ❜

❛ punch your fuckin’ way through the gate ‘til it breaks down ! ❜

❛ when you woke up today, you didn’t think you could die. neither did i. ❜

❛ i guess we’re running ! ❜

❛ everybody make it ? ❜

❛ we gotta go back and find [her/him/them] ! ❜

❛ it is way too soon to mourn [her/him/them]. ❜

❛ knowing [her/him/them], [she/he/they] probably tried to make things right. ❜

❛ is the truce still on ? ❜

❛ when the night goes sideways, get back home alive. ❜

❛ if the night divides us, meet back up in [place]. ❜

❛ and who decided to make you war chief ? ❜

❛ no, i wanna know ! who gave you the right ? ❜

❛ make your move or fall in line. ❜

❛ we gotta stick together. ❜

❛ we lost [name], we can’t lose you too. ❜

❛ i’ll get us home alive. ❜

❛ [name], just before we go - make our mark and let ’em know that we were here tonight. ❜

❛ we’ll live to see tomorrow if we just survive the night. ❜

❛ looks like they forgot about the truce… ❜

❛ we gotta get past ‘em to catch that train ! ❜

❛ on my signal, five, four, three, two, one, run ! ❜

❛ you won’t leave [place] alive. ❜

❛ why we leavin' ? all the amenities, i really coulda stayed. ❜

❛ [place/group] pissed on us, if you didn’t notice. ❜

❛ you weren’t supposed to bring any liquor. you aren’t supposed to drink on duty, period ! ❜

❛ we coulda stomped ‘em. 'least i flipped ‘em the bird. ❜

❛ it’s alright, nobody can read these maps anyway. ❜

❛ shit, this train’s had it, is that a track fire ? ❜

❛ they want ‘em alive, we don’t. ❜

❛ they’re looking for [person/group], remember ? we can do some lookin’ too. ❜

❛ can’t you see ? i’m havin’ a good time ! ❜

❛ i came to make your dad shit his depends. ❜

❛ let’s kick this town, watch the whole skyline come tumbling down ! ❜

❛ light one match, don’t be scared. you just might watch the world burn. ❜

❛ be a star. better yet, be a shooting star. ❜

❛ let me do the talking, be easy. ❜

❛ what is this, a late-night cosmetology class ? ❜

❛ you dare to cross our lawn ? with your colors on ? ❜

❛ easy, easy, we’re only passing through. ❜

❛ we’ve got no beef with you. ❜

❛ i’m sensing a little condescension. do you think we’re not big time ? ❜

❛ we’re known for our compassion when the chips are down. oh ! and also known for bashin’ in our deadly foes. ❜

❛ hey, i like your vest. you wanna gimme one ? ❜

❛ help us get through and i’ll see what i can do. ❜

❛ bitch, i don’t want a new one, i want the vest offa you. ❜

❛ you really gonna let ‘em walk around all through your little territory ? ❜

❛ i’m losing my cool. ❜

❛ pssh, you ain’t never once been cool. ❜

❛ fuck you, we’re walking home. ❜

❛ you made us get our weapons, now you see what you get ! ❜

❛ hey, let me go to wherever you’re going. ❜

❛ what do you do when they kill everything you believe in, but you still breathin’ ? ❜

❛ i wish i shared your dream of peace, but it’s killing season. ❜

❛ [name], wake the fuck up and tell me what your story is. ❜

❛ we decide if you get to live, see ? ❜

❛ [name], you in a pickle. if i were you, i would start talking right now. ❜

❛ i’m not your judas. ❜

❛ cut me or kill me or riddle my body with bruises, that’s what the truth is. ❜

❛ the truth is you have me confused with my accusers. ❜

❛ so where’s the rest of your crew, then ? ❜

❛ c’mon, let me be and set me free. ❜

❛ if i am guilty then where is my gun ? ❜

❛ you gonna kill me ? then have it be done. ❜

❛ i’mma help you find the one who killed [her/him/them]. ❜

❛ this city will never forgive what you did. ❜

❛ there’s a price on your head for the shit that you did. ❜

❛ go back to the gutter with your late night dates ! ❜

❛ oh, so you’re innocent. ❜

❛ running makes you look guilty. ❜

❛ you got some to say, let ‘em know. ❜

❛ if you wanna survive, burn bright. ❜

❛ quiet girls don’t make it home. ❜

❛ let’s fight, ‘cause i’m sick of being wimps. ❜

❛ i’m sick of running. ❜

❛ we keep runnin’ when we can take these clowns. ❜

❛ we ain’t come this far just to run and hide. ❜

❛ i’ll fight my way to wherever you’re going. ❜

❛ yoo hoo, ladies, you look lost and exhausted. ❜

❛ you’d look prettier if you’d smile. ❜

❛ you wanna show me how you play ? ❜

❛ but you wanted to play, right ? old ass predator looking for prey, right ? ❜

❛ talkin’ that shit, but got nothin’ to say, right ? ❜

❛ this is judge, jury and trial, motherfucker ! ❜

❛ i’m sick of runnin’ when i’ve done nothing wrong. ❜

❛ picked the wrong fight, now you’re in for a long night. ❜

❛ ‘why cause pain ?’ life is pain. ❜

❛ [name]’s just an extra soldier to help us get back home. ❜

❛ if we get home tonight, what’ll we have left ? ❜

❛ matching cardigans ? that’s cute. ❜

❛ where you headed ? look like you’ve been on the run. ❜

❛ now we got a place next door. that might be what you’re looking for. ❜

❛ i will shield you from all harm ‘cause you’ve been through hell, and your shelter is here in my arms. ❜

❛ how are you so beautiful tonight ? ❜

❛ if you need my place to hide, take my hand. ❜

❛ everybody needs a soft place to land. ❜

❛ can we stay on track ? ❜

❛ why’re you being so quiet in this subway tunnel ? whaddaya think, i bite or somethin’ ? ❜

❛ ha. i don’t think you’d like initiation. ❜

❛ so whatcha wanna do, jump me into the crew ? ❜

❛ well, you split from [group]. are you loyal ? ❜

❛ i’m loyal to you. ❜

❛ what’s wrong ? kiss me. ❜

❛ if i’m everything wrong, why’d you keep me along ? ❜

❛ why stick up for a stranger, in spite of the danger ? ❜

❛ i followed the night just to be in your corner. ❜

❛ i’d fight by your side. i would stay in your corner and you know it. ❜

❛ i wanna live, not just live to survive. ❜

❛ don’t know what you think you see in me. ❜

❛ don’t tell me you believe in me. you don’t even know me. ❜

❛ i’m broken, so don’t put your hope in me. ❜

❛ what do you want me to say ? that you’re beautiful ? ‘cause i think we both know that. ❜

❛ you’re more than beautiful. ❜

❛ you’re more than your body. you’re more than these lips, or this face - ❜

❛ if we ever somehow get out of this place, then we’ll go find something new. ❜

❛ the light at the end of this tunnel’s got nothing on you. ❜

❛ i think i see a light or somethin’. ❜

❛ i smell good cookin’ and i haven’t had a bite all night. ❜

❛ they’re so good-looking that i don’t know who to decide i like. ❜

❛ watch ‘em drop with a kick to the dick or the kidney ! ❜

❛ that pretty boy just bit me ! ❜

❛ never follow a beautiful face to a second location. ❜

❛ you can’t kill an idea whose time has come. ❜

❛ he’s waiting for us on our turf. ❜

❛ someday in the city we won’t have to run. ❜

❛ let’s find the train that gets us home. ❜

❛ hey yo, this hot dude bit me ! ❜

❛ i smashed that bad guy with his own chair ! ❜

❛ i’m a walkin’ talkin’ fire-breathing controversy ! ❜

❛ hands where we can see ‘em, if you please. ❜

❛ i’m sick of being afraid of you. ❜

❛ why can’t we just go back home ? why we always on the run from you ? ❜

❛ we put 'them in their place. you want some too ? ❜

❛ oh, you wanna rumble ? no problem ! ❜

❛ mission accomplished, i’ll see you in [place] ! ❜

❛ [name] would’ve beat him, but i am no [name]. ❜

❛ everyone you ever lost is still around, yes. see them in the flickers of the train’s fluorescent light, here in the night… ❜

❛ we’re all on the same train home. ❜

❛ oh, let them stare in judgment, let them witness this. ❜

❛ all we got is us. ❜

❛ we made it home alive. ❜

❛ it’s been a long fight just to see the ocean. ❜

❛ i’ve never seen the ocean. ❜

❛ how do we carry on without them ? ❜

❛ if [name] were alive, we’d be home free. ❜

❛ stay behind me, let [him/her/them] find me. ❜

❛ i am the ghost and i’ve hunted you. ❜

❛ stop. who the fuck are you and why are you here ? ❜

❛ don’t you know i killed [name] ? ❜

❛ you missed me ! and what ? ❜

❛ no one is coming to lend you a hand. ❜

❛ you only know how to break shit apart. ❜

❛ your crew is scared of you, see how it scatters ! ❜

❛ my crew would die for me. loyalty matters. ❜

❛ that’s where the glory is, not in blowing it up but in holding it down. ❜

❛ i don’t know why i’m still alive and some of us gone. i don’t think i’m special. ❜

❛ even though i’m home, i’ve got a knot in my chest that i can’t untangle. ❜

[memeapple2]

Huggbees reacts to spiderman one more day starters part 1 (TW: Coma mention, shooting mention, familial death)

"So let's re-read it together so we can all be stupid!!"

"Apparently him fucking old fat women wasn't in the market."

"Bold to assume the dearest person in my life is a her...God bless you Danny Devito!"

"Let me see if I can make up some lines, I'll do it on the spot! What would you do if your cable went out and Batman called you fat? I'm not very good at this."

"He has one more day in his delectable bondage web outfit! I mean look it. It's constricting all the places you want, but still leaving room for the erogenous zones! "

"Tune your ear to the frequency of despair. By cross reference the longitude and latitude of a heart in agony. Listen, this is kmlfm giving you the biggest boner in the back seat of your Ford Bronco!"

"Who the fuck would think just shooting spiderman with a bullet would work?"

"___ probally had good insurance, beacuse they got ____hooked up the the pudding suction device immediately!"

*LOUD GROSS SUCKING SOUNDS*

"Careful ____ save some tapioca for the rest of the residents!"

"They're gonna die, beacuse you didn't check them in with any insurance you stupid new identity assuming fuck!"

"What the fuck!? Everyone knows Peter Parker is spiderman, how in the shit did a fake name work!? He's a God danm international celebrity! Yet not a single human being in this hospital recognized him, Expect this one doctor who has all the kindness in his heart even though he's is still a dickhead! Huh????"

"Not a single person in New York God danm city, wants to help aunt may and spiderman get a pot of flowers for her icu room! We're off to a great start!"

"'Everyone knows my face' says the man who used a fake name to check into a hospital in a major metropolitan area!"

"So they break into ____'s surveillance room where they're apparently nakedly bathing in red jello???"

"Thank fucking god it was a superhero that they hit! If it was a regular burglar or some kind of human, they would have torn their spine in half. Good going committing murder ____!"

"So the best way to take down a man in super high tech armor is to punch him! Punches him real hard!"

"But he punches the guy...Oh fuck!"

"Punch the iorn man! Punch him! Punch him real good!! Punch him good!! Punch him! Fuck you!!"

"So after Peter introduces Tony to the exciting thrills of hard-core bondage, they have a discussion!"

"Keep in mind there's no guarantee this will save her! Keep in mind she's already a brain dead vegetable! Keep in mind aunt may is 80 something years old and lived a full happy life!!!! NOPE! PAY MY FUCKING BILLS TONY!!"

"NOPE! TONY STARK THE MAN WITH MILLIONS AND BILLIONS OF DOLLARS, THE MAN WHO SNEEZES PROTOTYPE WEAPONS, CAN'T GIVE PETER THE MONEY FOR AUNT MAY'S MEDICAL BILLS!! BUT HE CAN LET AUNT MAY DIE A HORRIBLE OLD PERSON DEATH IN A HOSPITAL!"

"It's a fucking miracle! They're still brain dead! Crazy, I know!!"

"We need to be reminded of this 50 times so maybe you'll the the subtle message of this comic!"

"By the way here's all the money you need for all this horrible shit that happened!"

"You know your aunt who's over 80 years old, who was shot in the chest and is brain dead...WHAT YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW HOW SHE'S DYING!?"

"Spiderman gets spiderpissed and decides nothing is gonna stop him from saving his aunt!!"

"If you want to read another comic this decade read this! Beacuse it's so bad you'll never want to read another comic again!"

"The good news is aunt may isn't in the charity ward anymore and has her own private room! The bad news is she's still fucking dying!"

"The art is so good, and I feel so bad, beacuse so far this is written by a fucking idiot! But god this art is so amazing!"

"So I get to look at something nice, while I question who the fuck thought this was a good idea?!"

"Dr. Strange's stupid magic is the only thing that's gonna help aunt may!"

"I was given magic abilities and a purpose, and this shit's important, and you don't fuck around with it!"

"I know if I had a bitter enemy who life I wanted to end, who constantly thwarted my plans, and he was my sworn nemesis, and he was like 'yo yo yo, time out, time out! Yeah, hey stop, woah! Time out, time out! My aunt's dying.' I would just put a halt to everything, I'd put an arm around his shoulder and I'd say, look man it's okay to express your feelings. Where's my check book!?"

"Let me get you something to drink! You want some Sunny D? Some apple juice? Maybe a diet coke? I drank all the regular. After all, traveling with your mind is stressful and the only way to sooth it, is the cool refreshing taste of mountain dew code red!"

"He tried to punch the guy who shot her in the brain, but he's a ghost! So that doesn't work!"

"Spiderman you're too hard on yourself! You need to respect yourself man! You need to give yourselfa break! Come on, positive thinking!"

"That's fucking stupid! Imagine you're watching a marvel movie, and you're watching Iornman 2.5 the legend of Tony's toenails! Tony stark is in iornman, and he's about to punch the hulk and he goes, 'And now for the for the reason I'm punching you and we're enemies'; and the movie cuts to black, and they're hanging out, and there's a little subtitle that goes 'watch The Incredible Hulk's amazing Sunday to find out what happened!' BULLSHIT!"

"People die when they're killed!"

"What you should do is stop being a fucking idiot, stop being a whiney desperate teenage baby!"

"Go to your aunt, tell her you love her, and give her a big old kiss! Beacuse she can probably still hear you in her comatose state. In her comatose stupid body, she probably embarrassed as fuck you're having a temper tantrum! That her brittle old skeleton is gonna be dust in the wind soon! So get some ice cream, and have a nice treat, while she fades into the ether realm. Go hang out with her! Okay?"

"Then we get to a cover art with spiderman's deadliest foes! A little girl, Cyclops with depression, and Jay Joanna Jamieson if he wanted to go to a fancy tea party!"

"It's not safe to go down that alley way! Beacuse it has a nerd in it!!"

"That's why I play video games! Beacuse I look at the world and go, UGH! What wasted potential, earth! Fuck you people! Now, Mario, he's got it all figured out! Mario's on a different dimension!"

"He's like a mini devil, he rules pocket hell, he fucks with people and it's funny!"

"Beacuse I'm the fucking devil and I can do what I want!"

"If you had a demonic fetish we could have just played Doom eternal together!"

"I like to dwell in misery and pain! I like to make exchanges that hurt people, beacuse it's great! It's yummy!"

"Hey mafisto! You can take my fisto into your anus!!"

"That yummy yummy suffering of your soul, is what I'm gonna snack on for the next trillion years!"

"Spiderman man wakes up in his spider suit. I guess they're his spiderman pajamas?? God danm, they make him look ripped! I need a pair!"

[microstmnt]

I had already uploaded their (first) timeskip designs seperately but I wanted to upload the line up to remind myself just how much they boys have all grown 

And more tidbits over here! Because god knows when I’ll be able to upload a proper breakdown of what happened during the Battle Nexus...

Leo: age 18, during the Battle Nexus wich was their little physical, mental and emotional break after their utter defeat against Shredder, Leo basically quit being leader not because he was done and tired of the responsability but because he felt that he failed everyone, not being able to protect them, not being prepared for the worst, being defeated not even by Shredder but his daughter, being saved by basically a miracle...  How could he call himself the leader? Even after Tang Shen (in Twig’s body) told them that their first task was to rest Leo still tried to train behind her back, only stopping after being assigned a “babysitter”, Usagi, who would befriend him and eventually help him train (later, but right now REST BOY). In his place of leadership he leaves Raph (originally he tought of Donnie, but the boy already went trough hell and back in Raph’s rescue mission.. so, the job goes to the other twin).. During this year he learns to be a better leader (actually listen to his team, and trust them, yes with your life dear). New weapon unlocked: Nodachi

Raph: age17. Oooh boy, you’re my favorite so of course you’re gonna get dragged through the trenches... The boy is in shambles, during the whole rescue mission Raph was aware of his actions but could do nothing to stop them, hurting his brothers is his worst nightmare, and it doesnt help that his older bro is now on his own spiral of shame and cant actually be there for them, Donnie is not talking, and Mikey’s still afraid of him even if he tries to hide it... Eventually (like three months in) Don opens up to him and the twins go back to their old dynamic, except that there is a lingering feeling of losing something because they now dont look exactly the same, and sure before they still had enough sligth differences that you could tell them apart if you looked closely, but now their scars make it evident that they wont be able to pull they’re little switch places prank that they found so comforting to do... Leo eventually announces to Raph that he is going to be the leader and... boy does that not go well, for starters Raph never wanted to be leader, he just didn’t like Leo being the leader and besides the boy feels like everything started because of him and Leo wants to make him leader?? He’s also fighting his own rage issues because he doesnt even trust himself anymore and is starting to wonder if maybe Splinter wasn’t right in being afraid of him (DONT WORRY it will get resolved, I would hate to make Splinter a bad dad and he is not afraid of Raph, it’s... complicated, I would have to make a separate post). New weapon unlocked: Kusarigama

Donnie: age 17. You’re also gonna get dragged through the trenches by proxy... Donnie for the first like 5-6 months is completely non-verbal, with the first two months also being kinda unresponsive to the rest of his family, completely closed off, doesn’t even let Raph in, he slowly gets better, mending his relationship with Raph (being the only one he talks to), and even having some jokes and non verbal conversations with Mikey, he rarely bonds with Leo cause the latter rarely bonds with him (Leo I implore you reach out to your little bros), and even tho the first months were basically hell, he’s the second to get more well adjusted to their new reality and what happened to them. Is generally okay with Raph being the new leader but still feels like Leo might have chickened out. Also has some complaints against Splinter like any good middle children does, also has some complaints against Leo... It will all get resolved. WE’RE HEALING ALL TRAUMAS IN THIS YEAR BABY. New weapon unlocked: Naginata

Mikey: age 16. Oh baby you’re really gonna be an angel in this trying times. Yes, he’s afraid of Raph at first, is mad at Leo because he wasn’t there, hates himself for feeling this way... He understands that Raph didnt meant to attack him, and that his bro would never hurt him like that on purpose, but boy the subconscious mind is a force that you actively have to figth, also understands that Leo couldnt have been there, even if he had known what was happening. He’s going to be the first of his brothers to understand and let go, and eventually help his brothers do the same. His wound is the worst because of damaged nerves that require surgery, but his recovery goes smoothly. During the year he becomes closer to Twig/Tang Shen and even sometimes call him mom, something Twig doesnt seem to mind all that much. Last one to find out that Raph is the new leader, doesnt really care about that but why is he always the last one to find out about stuff? Feels like he’s always in the back burner, might have to have a conversation with his brothers and dad about it... New weapon unlocked: Sansetsukon

April: age 20. After leaving the hospital the first thing that April did (after being interrogated by cops...) was to look for the turtles, having not been able to find them in their Lair and not being able to contact them she initially thought the worst, but no, how could that be? They’re all skiled fighters, and they know to stick to shadows, they’re probably just laying low. So she and Casey waited, trying to go back to a semblance of a normal life, she started to study again and started her career on biochemistry knowing that eventually the boys would be back on her life. But the months passed and no one got in contact with her, she eventually stopped going to the Lair because she feared a breakdown every time she didnt find anything new, and it wasnt healthy to get so obsessed with a maybe, she got into a lot of fights with Casey, both dealing with their unspoken grief very differently and eventually and with a lot of pain she accepted that maybe they were gone for real... Fast forward to like a month later the turtles would show up at her dorm room and explain to her what happened, HOW DO YOU REACT?? YOU WENT THROUGH ALL 7 STAGES OF GRIEF AND NOW YOU’RE RELIVING THEM. Well obviously she was mad and also happy to see them again, but it’ll take a lot to earn her trust again after that

Casey: age 19. OOH YOU’RE ALSO MY FAVORITE SO! guess what that means. The first thing Casey did after leaving the hospital (and being interrogated by cops and assuming full responsability of setting a building on fire...) was to look for the turtles with April. After not finding them he figured that yeah it makes sense, that Shredder guy wants them death, obviously their hiding, and eventually they’ll let us know where they are. In the meantime Casey starts to take his vigilante job extra seriously, beating up Purple Dragons, trying to figure out what the Foot Clan is up to, April tells him to stop because he’s really gonna get killed but his logic is that he’s helping the turtles. Months pass, the guys still havent shown any signs, April is starting to miss their weekly meetings in the Lair, and he feels like she’s giving up very easily, they fight often. Casey REFUSES to even think of the possibility that the boys are dead, the guy’s in denial, he’s going through it, he already lost a family once and he felt abandoned then, NOW? OH BABY ITS WORSE. He doesnt let himself grieve and eventually the turtles show up again after his work (actual work, not vigilante thing), and after his first relief he starts throwing punches... I mean can you blame the guy? Raph has to physically hold him off to prevent him from punching Mikey or Donnie (he got to punch Raph and Leo tho lmao) and then he actually breaks down in tears, because he realizes that he did thought that they died, and was so afraid of having lost his family again... Now he just has to mend his relationship with April, because he may have called her a coward (baby, your mouth runs faster than your brain...)

[eievuimemes]

CITIZEN SOLDIER LYRIC SENTENCE STARTERS TW: Themes of suicide / suicidal ideation, self-harm, depression, anxiety, etc.

“A heart of gold don’t come cheap.”

“All war and no surrender.”

“All your pain is just a hero forming.”

“Be a voice for the voiceless.”

“Behind your mask of kindness, you wanna see me fail.”

“Being brave is just a trick.”

“Can’t wake up from living in yesterday.”

“Does hope hurt more than giving up?”

“Every day gets wasted on a painful pause.”

“Every mark that makes you feel worthless, can give you a purpose.”

“Every single thought is trying to put me in my grave.”

“Give me a reason.”

“Go ahead and die with what you're afraid to say.”

“Go ahead and judge me.”

“Help me believe that tomorrow's even worth the fight.”

“I buried all the pain.”

“I choose to celebrate what made me me.”

“I couldn't feel this alone.”

“I don't know if I can be the hero.”

“I don't know if I can do it all again.”

“I don't know if I can save the day.”

“I had to find myself.”

“I hate to sound so cynical, but I'm done chasing miracles.”

“I hate to sound so cynical.”

“I have always been this way.”

“I kept holding on until the final page.”

“I know that I can't be the only one.”

“I treat silence like a gift.”

“I used to feel so ashamed.”

“I used to hate everything that I saw in the mirror.”

“I wasn’t fake.”

“I will not grieve.”

“I wish I could turn the white noise off.”

“I won’t make the same mistake.”

“I'd rather spill my guts out than live with being fake.”

“I'll keep writing songs until they know my name.”

“I'll never be ashamed 'cause it's my legacy.”

“I'll never bow down.”

“I'm done chasing miracles.”

“I'm fine and nothing's wrong.”

“I'm gonna live loud until there's no breath left in me.”

“I'm gonna live through hell so I'm left with no regrets.”

“I'm in a place you will never find.”

“I'm on my deathbed and no one knows.”

“I'm so damn proud of what they put me through.”

“I'm so scared of every trigger.”

“I'm terrified that I won't make it through the night.”

“I've heard every damn cliche.”

“I've learned there's beauty in the danger.”

“If I died at least I couldn't feel this alone.”

“If I had to, I would do it all again.”

“In my own head I'm a prisoner.”

“It's in your suffering.”

“It's suicide to live this way.”

“It’d hurt much less to cut my tongue from my throat.”

“It’s gonna get better.”

“I’m a slave to what I remember.”

“I’m so sick of feeling not enough.”

“I’m thinking things that twist my guts.”

“I’m who I’m meant to be.”

“I’ve had enough.”

“Keep breaking down or break your chains.”

“Lately, I’ve been living in a still frame.”

“Legends never had to fake it.”

“Life goes on.”

“My whole world is crumbling.”

“No regrets on my deathbed.”

“Nothing lasts forever.”

“Panic is my personality.”

“Pictures from the past that I cannot change.”

“Since I was young I only bleed.”

“So close to giving up on holding on.”

“Some nights I lie awake, and I just dream that I am someone else.”

“Some nights I lie awake.”

“Sometimes that’s the only way.”

“Stop telling me that it's okay like it's gonna get better.”

“The line has never been this thin.”

“The strong are never strangers to the darkest of their days.”

“The worst part about waking up is remembering why you wish that you did not.”

“There's meaning in the misery.”

“There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.”

“There’s beauty in the danger.”

“There’s still more room to feel.”

“They say the devil's just an angel that never learned from all his pain.”

“They're gonna talk you down.”

“They’d think that I’m a freak.”

“What you call taking punches, I call learning how to live.”

“What you can't feel can still be real.”

“Who would you be if you had just stayed strong?”

“Will you be remembered by what darkness did? Or what you did with it?”

“Will you fall apart or into place?”

“Will you turn the light out?”

“You are more than what you're enduring.”

“You can make it to the morning.”

“You can save your story.”

“You didn't choose this.”

“You'll never know what could have been.”

“You're never gonna make it.”

“You’ll be defined by the times you didn’t quit.”

“You’re a stupid kid.”

[oncexinxmyxdreams]

Encanto OC Event Week 2: Alejandra and Francisca. The Light and The Darkness

Moodboard for the sisters: especially showing locations of Santa Marta, where they were separated and Boyaca, their current home.

For starters, you know how all the Madrigal siblings are supposed to represent trios? Like past, present and future for PB&J. The twins are metaphors inspired from this quote. "Every moment of light and dark is a miracle." – Walt Whitman. They're opposites that need each other.

Francisca and Alejandra have a good relationship despite being different. Alejandra's content making arts and crafts with beads and trinkets. Francisca prefers reading textbooks or practicing chess strategies. They still shop and do chores together since they share a small house. They people watch while in town. They like sitting in the hammock during the evenings, enjoying the quiet or shooting the breeze. They usually call each other by their nicknames: Ale and Fran. They have special ones that nobody else knows: Beads and Bones. Alejandra sometimes call her Cisca or Cissy like when she was little.

They know each other's behavior and personalities like a book. Alejandra gets annoyed over Francisca's insensitivity and arrogance. Francisca gets irritated by Alejandra's disorganization, wishfulness and her mice. They poke fun at the other, but nothing malicious. They still provide care. Alejandra still helps her with migraines and wishes there was something to easily cure them. When she broke her arm, Francisca cracked the bones back in place and helped her mend. (Wondering why Francisca's nickname is Bones?) 😉

Since Francisca doesn't have the best reputation in town, Alejandra's gained confidence in speaking up for her. Usually, people pity that she "can't see the truth" of Francisca. On the other side of the coin, Francisca can tell when someone's trying to take advantage of Alejandra's kindness and will intervene.

It's been mentioned that Francisca was part of a con artist gang, five members, who were impressed by her intelligence. At one point, they demanded for Alejandra to spend a night with one of them. Francisca refused and even when intimated, she threatened back. She didn't keep it secret from Alejandra and promised she'd keep her safe. There are huge spoilers I want to save, but they'll be worth the reveal. For now, Alejandra was terrified for both of them. Her fear though couldn't hold her back when she was certain Francisca was in danger. She managed to fight one of the members who started attacking her sister. Francisca managed to trick three members into being arrested. One died first and another fled in hiding.

The 6 months apart when Francisca was imprisoned, was the worst time of their lives. Francisca felt like she failed: her wits hadn't helped, and she'd joined the gang instead of ignoring their flattery. The worst was failing her twin. She hadn't kept her safe. She'd have to face the consequences that if anything bad happened to Alejandra it was all her fault. For Alejandra she was anxious the worst was happening. She'd lost her mom, what's to stop life's cruelty from taking her sister? She tried to pick up the pieces and solve problems. That's what her sister would do so Alejandra would do it for her. Light and darkness having to exist without the other.

Onto something more cheerful. It felt like a miracle to be reunited again after all those months and both siblings sought a new life in Boyacá, far away from Santa Marta. They've lied about being twins for safety. (Who knows if the gang will get out and seek them?) Since Alejandra's always looked younger than her age, she agrees to say she's a few years younger and Francisca gives herself a different birth date, January 1st. Best she remembers another date, so Alejandra doesn't get mixed up. One thing they agreed, they'd never be apart that long again.

"At least until one of us dies and if things go well, that's years away," Francisca bluntly said.

Alejandra laughed and tugged her into a side hug. "I missed your dark sense of humor Fran."

Light and dark reunited to never separate again.

@encanto-extended-edition

Alejandra and Bruno's friendship is next. Prepare for sweetness!

[mariiposas]

plotted starter call. like this post & i'll go into ur dms and we can talk about a plot and i'll write a starter for it <3

[jessource]

random lyrics sentence starters.

“did i fall out of line when i called you?” “when i told you i was fine, you were lied to.” “every time i get too close i just go mess it up.” “you kissed me, just to kiss me, not to take me home.” “i’m not together, but i’m getting there.” “i don’t know if i’ll take you back.” “part of me was hoping we’d get the chance to talk.” “know that i am on your side.” “if you’re so smart tell me, why are you still so afraid?” “how did you know? how could you tell?” “how could you blame me?” “i wanna feel like i finally matter.” “i’m not used to being with somebody with their shit together.” “but didn't i play it good? better than you ever thought i would.” “nothing's forever, i know, but i need you.” “it’s ok if you forget me.” “you told me from the start, nothing could tear us apart.” “don’t look away, cause i gotta say, i’m sorry.” “i would’ve walked through hell to find another way.” “the older i get the more that i see, my parents aren't heroes, they're just like me.” “i used to close my eyes and pray for a whole other family.” “i like a girl that’s got a boyfriend, can’t seem to get her outta my head.” “you picked him over me.” “i feel just like a sailboat, don't know where i'm headed. but you can't make the wind blow from a sailboat.” “and my god, do i feel so alone.” “please excuse my temper, i don't mean to be rude.” “if it’s all in my head, tell me now.” “so little time so much to do, i’d rather spend my days with you.” “i’m not making plans for tomorrow, for tomorrow never comes.” “but how can i miss you so much when you’re right here?” “you don’t get to take all of me.” “i love you so much that i’ve gotta let you go.” “does it change the way you think of me?” “if you take me home, will we talk in the morning?” “takes twenty one days to form a habit.” “that’s a pretty face, the kind you’d find on someone i could save.” “if they don’t put me away, it’ll be a miracle.” “i know you feel lost, it’s my fault completely.” “i’ll be yours, just give me time.” “don’t you dare act like i didn't love you.” “it’s hurting in my chest to breathe.” “and my head is so fucked from what you did.” “you take my hand and it feels like home.” “i’ll treasure this moment till we meet again.” “your happy ending is up to you.” “a ghost never leaves a haunted house.” “you weren't there when i needed you to be.” “that's the thing with anger, it begs to stick around.” “darling i’ve been waiting so long just to hear you say you’re coming home.” “how much of my mother has my mother left in me?” “how much of my father am i destined to become?” “i like it when you piss me off.” “you and me, we’re not the same.” “i’ve never been this high.” “i feel uncomfortable surrounded by the silence.” “you caught me by surprise, changed my destination.” “if i gave you the sunset, you’d wish for the rain.” “if i gave you the ocean, you’d complain about the waves.” “do what you want, just don’t go dark on me.” “when you look at me i must be dreaming.” “do you know how in love with you i am?” “you’re more than a sunshine in my eyes.” “i’ll keep running just to find a way to you 'til then.” “i hope it was worth it in the end.” “i think you may be my only friend.” “we’re all scared of trenches and grow weak at knees.” “i know i’m not on your mind.” “sorry that i can’t believe that anybody ever really starts to fall in love with me.” “i’ll be yours, just give me time.” “so it’s probably nothing but it’s been on my mind.” “and i froze, and i reckon i missed it.” “you’re the only friend i need.” “i’ll love you until my breathing stops.” “i’ve never felt more alone.” “now that i’m older, thought it’d be over.” “the demons give me a reason.” “why would you wish to be me? my mind isn’t half as pretty.” “if you see the hurt, you’ll leave like the rest.” “you got me stuck on the thought of you.” “could this be out of line to say that you’re the only one?” “you’re the only one breaking me down like this.” “you’re the only one i would take a shot on.” “sit down, breathe, and just listen.” “and i’d give it to you, a hundred times over, ‘till you screwed me over.” “but i think you’re honestly something i needed to lose.” “i love the way you wear that dress.” “you’re making me feel brand new. “i’m not one to need saving, but i guess i’ll give it a try.” “right from the start i knew you’d set a fire in me.” “i’d rather be sad with you, than anywhere away from you.” “i’m so tired of being a book on the shelf.” “i saw someone who looked like you at our favourite coffee shop.” “i’ve been ignoring this big lump in my throat.” “i hope the love never ends, your love is so bittersweet.” “i had no reason to breathe until you knocked the wind out of me.” “life was easier when i only cared about me.” “hide behind that baby face.” “don't wait for me, don't wait for mum. we'll come get you when it's safe for us to move.” “i waited many years, held back the pain behind my tears for my father to come find me like he said.“ “i say i wanna settle down, build your hopes up like a tower, i’m giving you the run around.”

[writingwithcolor]

Gingerbread man as golem

@yaronata asked:

I would like to write a character who is Jewish and uses a Golem. She's based on the D&D class of the artificer which looks magic but isn't, because they produce all their effects with inventions, like the "any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" quote. Her story is that her very Jewish town was under attack from a terrible monster when she was little. Her Rabbis made a Golem to protect the town, and it succeeded but was torn to pieces in the process. She was fascinated by the Golem and as a kid didn't see a big difference between it's sentience and person's so was really thankful for its sacrifice like you would a person's sacrificing their life for you. They thought all the pieces had been devoured by the monster before it died, but she went looking and found the piece used to animate the Golem, which she, kinda misunderstanding called its "heart". She kept the piece and grew up to be an incredibly skilled cook, specialising as a baker in the town. I imagine she would make a lot of really good food for the Jewish holidays, or to break fasts on ones like Yom Kippur or Tish'abav. But she also made a town specific holiday to honour the Golem's sacrifice and the town still being alive, because I feel "we are not dead woo" is a big theme for Jewish holidays from my research, so it could fit, for which she invented ginger bread men to be the golem, and gave them little "hearts" of fruit or honey, and you're meant to eat them limb by limb like the beast did before eating the heart. This would be the inspiration for using the "heart" piece later to make her own giant gingerbread Golem to help her save the world.

These are my questions 1) would it be considered bad or disrespectful for someone who isn't a Rabbi to make a Golem, or is this method of taking an animating piece someone else made disrespectful? 2) Her journey will take her far from her town and her Jewish family and friends and she will likely travel with gentiles. Would it be disrespectful for a Golem to be used to protect a lot of gentiles and one Jew in the course of saving the world? I don't want to fall into the stereotype of someone putting all their effort into valuing and protecting very specifically the group that in real life is oppressive to them. 3) While she is not using magic and is actually mimicking its effects with technology she invents, is this drawing too close to the line of "magical Jew"? 4) I like to "play test" my characters in ttrpgs to really get a feel for them before I write. Would it be disrespectful to play a Jewish character when I am a gentile, and would it be disrespectful to play a Jewish character in a setting where there are demonstrably real gods other than the one of Judaism?

I really like this character idea and I think it's cute and fun and rooted in Jewish culture but I really want to make sure it's respectful and as good as I, a gentile researching on the internet, thinks it is. Thanks so much! Have a nice day!

My answer to this is very complicated because there are things I both like and do not like about this premise. First of all, I love the idea of a cookie golem, and I'm even imagining the magic word that brings him to life (EMET/truth) would be written in icing. And I'm okay with the part about how she found a piece of the old golem and used it to build a new golem, because that makes sense for a golem made from a baked good when you think about how people use sourdough starter to make a new batch of sourdough.

However, here are the thing that make me cock my head to the side like my little sister's German shepherd:

1. re: "magical Jew" - that's not a trope I've ever heard of. Remember, marginalized groups don't receive identical disrespect across the board. It is indeed a trope to use Black people or disabled people as supernatural plot devices who exist only to further the stories of white main characters or able-bodied main characters. But I can't say as I've ever seen anyone using Jewishness that way. Usually if we are someone's one-dimensional plot device it's as someone's lawyer, fixer, "money guy", etc, not a supernatural force. So this isn't something you have to worry about.

2. I have a certain level of discomfort with you playing as a Jewish character just because playacting as a marginalized culture you're not part of strikes me as off, but I understand that that's how you gain insight into a character you're about to write so it's more of a writing exercise than anything else. (I wonder if D&D regulars from marginalized groups have written about this -- I've only played a few times casually with family so if I did run into this type of discussion in my social justice reading I wouldn't have absorbed it. If anyone is curious I played first as Captain Werewolf, and then switched to playing as Cinnamon Blade because lawful good was too hard. :P )

3. I would prefer you omit the detail about eating the cookies piece by piece symbolically, for two reasons: a. it unintentionally evokes Communion by having appreciative people consume a baked good symbolic of an entity who sacrificed his life for theirs, and b. focusing on the details of flesh consumption reminds me too much of Blood Libel (yes, a gingerbread man is in the shape of a person but how many of us actually think about it literally, the way this act would cause?)

As to your first question: I'm fine with her making a golem even though she's just a rando. Second question: I see what you're saying and maybe it could be more okay if it's really clear how well these gentile folks are treating her? And questions three and four are answered above.

I really do love the idea of a giant gingerbread man golem. Cookie golem T_T <3

--Shira

I would like to second Shira’s point about not ripping apart the gingerbread cookies. I honestly would prefer they were used as decoration, and other cookies eaten instead, since that part just feels so not-Jewish to me, but I don’t have golem-specific issues other than that. It seems like you have already been doing a lot of research, which is appreciated.

As far as the ttrpg/DnD aspect… I bounce back and forth on the topic of playing characters that are so very different from our experiences, other than in fantasy-related ways. However, I am aware that a lot of people will play with, and experiment with gender in game, and learn something about themselves in the process (the number of trans players of ttrpgs who tried out their gender in game before they were out is high). It’s different with Judaism, and even more significantly different when it comes to things you can’t convert into, like various actual, real-world races. But because people do sometimes experience growth from experiences like this, I’m hesitant to dissuade players completely. I do urge you to, at a minimum, bring the same care, research, and willingness to learn, that you brought to this question.

--Dierdra

This sounds like a creative storyline that you could have lots of fun with 😊

At first I was confused by this part:

She also made a town specific holiday to honour the Golem's sacrifice

But then you really got me thinking about different types of Jewish holidays and how they come about, so thank you for that!

Because it’s often the little details that either make a story super powerful or kind of nonsensical, I think it would be a good idea to decide what type of holiday is being created here:

A full-blown chag with restrictions on labour and halachic obligations? These are commanded in Torah and new ones can’t be added.

A minor yom tov with halachic obligations but no restrictions? These were instituted by the rabbis prior to the destruction of the Temple, so again new ones can’t be added.

A public holiday or equivalent? This would usually be declared by the Knesset in Israel, and filter to the rest of the Jewish world from there.

A community-based yom tov with specific customs only for people in the know, such as certain Chasidic groups celebrating the birthdays of their deceased leaders? I asked around, but no one can really tell me how these holidays get started, which is probably a good indication that they arise quite organically from a group of people who all just feel that it should be celebrated. Probably not created by a single person, as such.

Something she runs from her bakery, not religion-based, but more like a day of doing special products and deals the way many small businesses do on their anniversary?

Now, if the people of a modern-day town were actually saved by a real live Golem, that would arguably be the most overt miracle for many generations, so there would be a decent chance of options 3 and/or 4 happening. It’s entirely plausible that there could be special foods for this day that become a tradition, including Golem cookies. People who directly benefited might also return to the site where the Golem fought the monster and recite the prayer, ‘Blessed is Hashem, Master of the Universe, Who performed a miracle for me in this place.’

Alternatively, if it’s important that your MC created the holiday, something like option 5 might be the best. Hopefully this will still fulfil what you need: you describe her as incredibly skilled, so I can imagine the day when she goes all out on the Golem cookies being one of the most exciting events of the year for the townspeople, just because her baking is that good. Plus, they already have a personal stake in the Golem’s sacrifice, so I definitely think it could be a thing without being an official holiday. Also, if she is outside of an all-Jewish environment, don’t forget that she would have to decide whether to commemorate the anniversary in the Hebrew calendar or the local one.

Coming back to the cookies, sorry if we’re getting a little repetitive on this point! But I don’t see the cookies being torn limb from limb as part of a celebration. First of all, this doesn’t sound like a very celebratory thing to do, to say the least. Can you imagine explaining that to a three-year-old on their first Yom HaGolem? They would be terrified! (I don’t read this suggestion as accidental anti-Semitism so much as getting carried away with a metaphor, which I’m sure as writers we have all done!)

But also, it’s worth pointing out that our commemorative foods aren’t usually that literal. If you think about hamantaschen, maror, or apple in honey, they’re all symbols. That’s not to say that having Golem-shaped cookies is a problem, as this sounds like just a bit of fun that the MC is having and not something that is directly at odds with Judaism or Jewish culture. But it’s worth bearing in mind that the more literal you go from there in terms of tying the cookies to the event they commemorate, the less culturally aligned your holiday food becomes.

Finally, about the Golem protecting non-Jewish people: I like this idea! There’s a stereotype that we only use whatever is at our disposal to help ourselves and other Jewish people, so a Golem being created by Jews but helping others as well is a big plus for me. Of course, as has already been pointed out, this would be an odd choice if her Saving The World team were anti-Semitic or otherwise disrespectful to her/her community, but I don’t think you were headed that way!

-Shoshi

I have to come back in here just to squee over the phrase “Yom HaGolem.” Well done :D

--Shira

[dislyteacolyte]

DREW - SECRET OF THE EARS

Knock, knock. There’s someone at the door.

Drew: Please come in. Lucas: Um, sorry for interrupting… but I got lost looking for this meeting room.

Drew turns his head gracefully, slightly narrowing his eyes.

Drew: If my memory serves me right, you are… Lucas? The rookie who just graduated from the Union Academy, correct? Lucas: Yes. Drew: The meeting has just begun, please take a seat.

Lucas sticks his tongue out at his colleague, who saved a spot for him, and sits down swiftly.

Drew: Back to what I was saying. Drew: In the past two months, more than ten cases of Miramon going berserk occurred in the neighborhood near the Miracle. No doubt this is thanks to the shadow members, and-- Q: Hey, Lucas, why do you look so nervous? Lucas: Why didn’t you guys tell me the way to this meeting room? That’s not cool! Q: We also forgot the meeting room was in such a stupid place. Lucas: Never mind. The one hosting this meeting… that’s Mr. Drew, right? I’ve heard his name a lot back in the Union Academy. Lucas: I wanted to impress him in this meeting but ended up being late and interrupting a critical analysis… Lucas: Gosh, he must be mad. Q: Don’t worry. Mr. Drew wouldn’t be mad about this type of thing. Lucas: How do you know? Q: Because we all know the “little secret” of that old gentleman.

Q says, smirking. And Drew is still focused on explaining his analysis paying zero attention to their whispers.

Drew: The cases I just showed are only some of the consequences of Miramon going berserk, but they have posed a severe threat to the residents in the Union jurisdiction. Drew: However, please let me be clear, had Union security taken the reports from the nearby residents seriously, they could have controlled the damage to a degree. Q: Look, I think our old gent is pissed this time.

Lucas looks at Q, confused.

Lucas: How do you know that? Lucas: There is not much difference in his expression or tone, and-- Q: Check his ears. Lucas: …Ears? Q: Yes. When his ears turn sideways, becoming the “airplane ears”, he is angry. Q: I think he is not happy with the Union security in our jurisdiction. Drew: …I hope such incidents won’t happen again. Lucas: True, although he remains as graceful as ever, his ears are indeed in a different pose. Lucas: So… does Mr. Drew only expresses* anger with his ears?

*actual text

Q: Of course not. After our… and everyone else’s observation, we worked out some patterns. Q: Usually, his ears point up, which means he’s in a good mood. When he gets shy, they fall onto his head. Q: And when he thinks, they wiggle a little-- see, just like that. Drew: …

Drew’s analysis has just ended, and he is now going through some files. As he reads, his ears wiggle slightly.

Lucas: I see. I never thought there was so much to Mr. Drew’s ears… Lucas: I have learned how to tell his moods!Lucas: Mr. Drew, you wanted to see me? Drew: That’s right, Lucas. Please have a seat. Unfortunately, we won’t be having afternoon tea today.

Drew’s voice sounds elegant as always, but Lucas notices that his ears indicate a terrible mood.

Lucas: (He seems very angry, could it be because of the mission last time?) Lucas: Mr. Drew, I have learned from my mistakes from the last mission. I promise it won’t happen again! Drew: Mistakes are inevitable for new starters. Just be more careful in the future. Lucas: (The ears remain the same… wasn’t that what he was about to say?) Lucas: I’ll also go to the music festival less often and spend more time on missions. Drew: The Union is not opposed to people finding their joy in life. We joined the Union to provide a better life to the people. Lucas: … Lucas: Mr. Drew, please tell me what I’ve done wrong.

Drew is puzzled.

Drew: What makes you say that? I didn’t call you here to point out your mistakes.

Drew takes out some doodles from the cabinet and hands them to Lucas.

Drew: Those kids you saved in the previous mission made some drawings and sent them to the Union. I suppose you should have them. Lucas: What? What about your ears… Drew: What about my ears?

Lucas takes the cards but still looks at Drew’s ears in disbelief.

Lucas: They told me that whenever your ears are like this, that means you are angry. Drew: Ears… oh, it does apply most of the time. Drew: With some exceptions, of course. For example, someone put some super sour lemon candy in my candy jar for afternoon tea today. Lucas: … Drew: Sorry for making you nervous. Can I look at these drawings from the kids with you?

[puckrph]

‘ NEXT TO NORMAL ’ ACT II STARTERS

taken from the obc cast recording of the pulitzer prize-winning musical. tw for mentions of self harm, suicide, child death, drug use, and severe mental disorders. feel free to change pronouns, etc. act i.

WISH I WERE HERE

' it's like someone drained my brain out, set my frozen mind to thaw. ' ' i am worlds away from who i was. ' ' they told me it would change me. ' ' i have lived a life of clouds and gray, but this is crystal clear. ' ' i wish i were here. ' ' it kills my deepest hunger as it fills me with desire. ' ' i'm trying to enjoy it, but i'm missing all the fun. ' ' am i feeling what i think i'm feeling? ' ' i feel the burn, but i don't feel the pain. ' ' can i hide my stupid hunger, fake some confidence and cheer? '

SONG OF FORGETTING

' do i really live here? ' ' i've never felt so high. ' ' what a lovely cure! it's a medical miracle. ' ' it's there, i'm sure. memories don't die. ' ' it's a song of the way things were no t. ' ' sing of what's lost to you. '

HEY #1

' i've missed you. ' ' i thought you might call. it's been weeks. ' ' i've been crazed. ' ' have you been on the scene? cause you look like a mess. ' ' are you clean? ' ' wow, coming from you... ' ' i don't do what you do. ' ' okay, how did it start? ' ' you took it too far. ' ' oh, i took it too far? ' ' don't! don't do this to me! ' ' are we over? don't say that we're over. ' ' don't you want us to be over? ' ' i want who i knew. she's somewhere in you. ' ' will you come to this dance? it's some spring formal dance. it's march first, and it's cheese, but it's fun, and it's free. ' ' i don't do dances. ' ' do this dance with me? '

SECONDS AND YEARS

' a little loss of memory is normal. ' ' i couldn't give a flying fuck what's normal. we haven't had a normal day in years. ' ' is life less cloudy than it was before? ' ' you're not a scary rock star anymore. '

BETTER THAN BEFORE

' the memories are there somewhere. ' ' keep it light at first. ' ' let's start with something small. ' ' they're our wedding rings. ' ' well, that's how i remembered it, so that's how it'll be. ' ' it's an open book to write, here. it's a life we can restore. ' ' we can get back what we had, and maybe more. ' ' i took pictures everywhere we went. ' ' the photoshopping hardly even shows. ' ' this sucks. ' ' i remember this. i made it to the school, but i hid out in the car. ' ' your life has kind of sucked, i think. ' ' if memory makes things better, well, memory always does. ' ' won't anything be better than before? '

AFTERSHOCKS

' they managed to get rid of me. ' ' we shock who we can't save. ' ' you may have wanted some of them, but who can ever tell? ' ' which is worse: the symptom, or the cure? ' ' i'm gone without a trace. ' ' sear the soul, and you'll leave a scar no treatment can erase. ' ' they cut away the cancer, but forgot to fill the whole. ' ' i'm still there, in your soul. ' ' your life goes back to normal now, or so they all believe. ' ' my heart is in my chest again, not hanging from my sleeve. ' ' they've driven out the demons, and they've earned you this reprieve. ' ' with nothing to remember, is there nothing left to grieve? '

HEY #2

' so, tomorrow's the dance... it's annoying, i know, but let's go. ' ' let me know you again. ' ' okay, when? say wait, and i'll wait. ' ' it's already too late. ' ' there's no way it's too late. ' ' will you listen? just shut up, and listen! ' ' you remind me of me, and how fucked up i can be. ' ' okay. hey. let's start over, clean slate. ' ' i'll come by here at 8. if you show, then we'll go. if you don't, well, we'll see. ' ' you just don't give up. ' ' don't give up on me. '

YOU DON'T KNOW (REPRISE)

' my mind is still a mess. ' ' my past is like the weather: it'll come, and it'll go. ' ' i don't even know what it is that i don't know. ' ' i'm some christopher columbus sailing out into my mind, with no map of where i'm going or of what i've left behind. ' ' i'm sure something's missing. i wish it would show. ' ' i don't know where the fucking pieces go. ' ' i don't know how this started, so i won't know when it's done. '

HOW COULD I EVER FORGET?

' you drove too fast. ' ' how could i ever forget? ' ' he had such chills, but still, he lay there so still. ' ' god, i was so upset. ' ' they said to wait. they never said we were too late. ' ' don't. you think this will help, but it won't. ' ' i was a child, raising a child. ' ' those weeks full of joy, and then: a moment of dread. ' ' this was the moment my life was set. ' ' that day that i lost you... it's as clear as the day we met. '

IT'S GONNA BE GOOD (REPRISE)

' it's gonna be fine. ' ' we're gonna go back to the doctor, cause we caught it just in time. we'll take the pills, we'll pay the bills— ' ' what was his name? '

WHY STAY? / A PROMISE

' why stay? so steadfast, and stolid, and stoic, and solid, for day after every day? ' ' why stay? why not simply give in and get on with living? ' ' everyone knows you tried, but somehow something died on the way. so tell me why you stay. ' ' why stay? enduring, and coping, and hurting, and hoping for day after fucking day? ' ' why not simply end it? we'd all comprehend it, and most of the world would say: "he's better off that way." ' ' most of the world would say:  "he's better off that way, to be free. and maybe so is she." ' ' whatever may come, we'll come through. and who can know how, when i all i know now to be true is this promise that i make to you? ' ' should i stay? ' ' a boy wonders whether the two stay together the way that they stay, for year after year, for love or from fear. ' ' here's what i say to the girl who was burning so brightly, like the light from orion above: still i will search for her nightly. if you see her, please send her my love. ' ' the boy was a boy for all seasons; that boy is long lost to me now. and the man has forgotten his reasons, but the man still remembers his vow. ' ' i'll never regret, or let you. '

I'M ALIVE (REPRISE)

' i am old as time and forever young. ' ' i am every song that will stay unsung. ' ' i'll find you, remind you. ' ' until you name me, you can't tame me. ' ' this is one old game that i can play so well. ' ' the medicine failed, and the doctors lied. ' ' i am death defied. '

THE BREAK

' what happens when the burn has healed, but the skin has not regrown? ' ' what happens when the cast, at last, comes off, and then you find the break was always in another bone? ' ' they shrugged and told me: "that's the way it goes." ' ' finally, you hit it! ' ' no one really knows. ' ' what happens if the cut, the burn, the break, was never in my brain, or in my blood, but in my soul? '

MAKE UP YOUR MIND / CATCH ME I'M FALLING (REPRISE)

' this is clarity that you didn't have before. ' ' make up your mind that you'll try again. ' ' there's no cure, but that doesn't mean we don't fight. ' ' maybe i'll let myself fall. ' ' maybe the falling isn't so bad after all. ' ' stay with me. ' ' don't lose what you've won. ' ' you've struggled for years, but you've only begun. ' ' is medicine magic? you know that it's not. ' ' it's not perfect, but it's what we've got. '

MAYBE (NEXT TO NORMAL)

' maybe i've lost it at last. maybe my last lucid moment has passed. ' ' i'm dancing with death, i suppose. but really, who knows? ' ' it could be i'm crazy to go. they say you should stay with the devil you know. ' ' when life needs a change, and the one devil won't, you fly to the devil you don't know. ' ' i'm tired of the game. of coming up short, of the rules, of the shame. ' ' i see me in you. ' ' i see me in you: a girl full of anger and hope, a girl with a mother who just couldn't cope. a girl who felt caught, and thought no one could see. but maybe, one day, she'll be free. ' ' it's so lovely that you've sharing—no, really, i'm all ears—but where has all this caring been for all these years? ' ' for all those years, i prayed that you'd go away for good, half the time afraid that you really would. ' ' for all those years, i prayed that she'd go away for good, half the time afraid that she really would. ' ' when i thought she might be dying, i cried for all we'd never be. but there'll be no more crying, not for me. ' ' there'll be no more crying. not for me. ' ' things will get better. you'll see. ' ' maybe we can't be okay. ' ' maybe we can't be okay. but maybe we're tough, and we'll try anyway. ' ' we'll live with what's real, let go of what's past... and maybe i'll see you at last. ' ' i tried to give you a normal life. i realize now i have no clue what that is. ' ' i don't need a life that's normal. that's way too far away. but something next to normal would be okay. ' ' we'll get by. '

HEY #3 / PERFECT FOR YOU (REPRISE)

' you look like a star. a vision in blue. ' ' hey... you came. ' ' i thought we were through, me and you. ' ' will your mom be okay? ' ' for now, it's all fine. ' ' she's still on my mind. ' ' can you leave it behind? stay, let's see this thing through. ' ' am i crazy? i might end up crazy. ' ' i'll be here for you. ' ' you say that right here, but then give it a year. or ten years, or a life; i could end up your wife. ' ' i will be perfect for you. so you could go crazy, or i could go crazy, it's true. ' ' sometimes, life is insane. but crazy, i know i can do. ' ' crazy is perfect, and fucked up is perfect, so i will be perfect for you. '

SO ANYWAY

' i'm leaving. i thought you'd like to know. ' ' you're faithful, come what may. ' ' i can't stay. we'd both go mad that way. ' ' i'm leaving... although, i guess that you can see. ' ' i'll try this on my own, a life i've never known. ' ' i'll face the dread alone. but i'll be free. ' ' with you always beside me to catch me when i fall, i'd never get to know the feel of solid ground at all. ' ' with you always believing that we can still come through, it makes me feel the fool to know that it's not true. ' ' what doctors call dysfunction, we tried to call romance. ' ' rather than let chance take me, i'll take a chance. ' ' i'll take a chance on leaving. it's that, or stay and die. ' ' i loved you once, and though you love me still, i know it's time for me to fly. ' ' i loved you once, and though i love you still, i know it's time for me to go. '

I AM THE ONE (REPRISE)

' i am the one who loved you. i'm the one who stayed, and you walked away. ' ' i waited, and now you act like you just don't give a damn. like you never knew who i am. ' ' i'm the one you fear. ' ' i've always been here. ' ' i know you told her that i'm not worth a damn. ' ' can't you just leave me alone? ' ' why didn't you go with her? ' ' let me go. ' ' i am the one who held you. i'm the one who cried. i'm the one who watched while you died. ' ' i tried pretending that i don't give a damn, but you've always known who i am. '

LIGHT

' first of all, we need some light. ' ' you can't sit here in the dark all alone. it's a sorry sight. ' ' it's just you and me, but we'll live. you'll see. ' ' night after night, we'd sit and wait for the morning light. ' ' we've been waiting far too long for all that's wrong to be made right. ' ' day by day, we were wishing all our cares away. ' ' i'm trying to fight the things i feel. ' ' some hurts never heal. some ghosts are never gone. but we still go on. ' ' you find some way to survive. and you find out you don't have to be happy at all to be happy you're alive. ' ' give me clouds, and rain, and gray. give me pain, if that's what's real: it's the price we pay to feel. ' ' the price of love is loss. but still, we pay. we love anyway. ' ' when the night has finally gone, and when we see the new day dawn, we'll wonder how we wandered for so long, so blind. ' ' the wasted world we thought we knew, the light makes it look brand new. ' ' day after day, we'll find the will to find our way, knowing that the darkest skies will someday see the sun. ' ' there will be light. '

BONUS: SOMETHING I CAN'T SEE

' have you drained all your resources? have you overshot the mark? ' ' is the man with all the answers only grasping in the dark? ' ' you can't see that without me, she's really not alive. ' ' you've had your chance. ' ' deep inside, you still don't see the truth she keeps concealed. ' ' something i can't see makes you think that i'll be fine. ' ' something i can't see keeps you crossing that same line. ' ' you have your ways to try and make me disappear. ' ' she's lost somewhere that you can't reach, and me? i'm still right here. ' ' how you think that this will set her free is something i can't see. ' ' you follow every guideline, ask the questions, check each chart. but healing mind and soul is not just science; it's an art. ' ' with everything i've lost, it's hard to see the things i've won. ' ' i've done the best i could, but now, at best, i've come undone. ' ' i won't be cured. i won't be tamed. ' ' you won't be cured, you won't be tamed, you won't let go of something that you know cannot be named. ' ' something i can't see is alive inside your mind. ' ' something i can't see means it's something i can't find. ' ' the mind can be so certain while the soul is full of doubt. ' ' the mind lets in the fears you hoped the brain would just shut out. ' ' i see he holds you still. ' ' i always hold your soul. i will until you let me go. ' ' it's a dream, a hope that kills. ' ' there's so much left to try. ' ' i want to help, but how can i? ' ' i don't know what i don't know. all i know is i can't let you go. ' ' it leaves you somehow wanting more. ' ' i fear i've gone too far, but there's still so far to run. ' ' the race is far from over—no, the race has just begun. ' ' i'll keep on fighting until you're free. '

[flowercrown-bard]

Flora and –yikes! - Fauna

pairing: Geralt/Jaskier

word count: 3k

read on AO3

thank you @kitcatkim for letting me use your idea with the two flower crowns <3

summary: Jaskier is making flower crowns, naturally. Too bad no one warned him that bugs like to swarm around flowers

Content warnings: bugs, insects

--- "Geralt, wait!"

Jaskier didn't give Geralt the chance to protest or grab the scruff of Jaskier's neck to keep him in place. As Jaskier ran towards the wildflowers blossoming in a patch next to the road he could practically hear Geralt rolling his eyes in the way he grunted.

"Jaskier, we can't keep stopping every other minute just for you to gather flowers." Despite his words, Jaskier could hear him bring Roach to a halt. "What are you even going to do with them? Don't tell me you spent your last coin on a vase."

Jaskier huffed indignantly but didn't bother turning around to fix Geralt with a glare.

"Of course I didn't. If you please to remember, I used it to buy some more bandages because someone didn't bother to restock before rushing into a hunt."

"I remember," Geralt grumbled but there was something strange in his tone. Something that wasn’t gruff or dismissive at all. Something that might have even been the exact opposite of that. Jaskier couldn't name it but it made his heart skip a beat. "But fine. We can take a break. Roach could use it anyway."

She didn’t. She was stubborn enough to make it known when she wanted or needed to slow down and she had done no such thing since the last time Jaskier had made them stop.

"Make sure she doesn't eat my flowers," he called over his shoulder.

His smile widened as he plucked the most beautiful blue flower and added it to his already impressive collection. Maybe he had gathered too many flowers, but how was he to know how many he needed? He had never done this before. It wasn't as if he could just pluck flowers out of flower pots at Oxenfurt and he would rather not dismay a town's residents by raiding their gardens.

Besides, no garden could grow such beautiful flowers as blossomed on their own in the wild. At least that's what Jaskier hoped Geralt would think. He never seemed to appreciate the carefully cultivated beauty of cities when instead he could have the open road and woods.

Jaskier eyed his flowers critically. Though most of them had differently shaped and shaded blossoms, most of them were blue. Perfect to bring out his eyes. Hopefully. Surely.

Satisfied and a little giddy, Jaskier marched over to Geralt and thrust the flowers into his hand.

"Hold this," he said, fighting the unreasonable blush that crept up his cheeks.

Geralt's brows pinched together in confusion and he looked almost flustered. Still, he didn't hesitate to close his hand around the flower stems, perhaps a little too tightly, as if he was afraid of them falling if he didn't clutch them in a death grip.

"I-Jaskier, what are you-"

"I need both hands to do this," Jaskier explained and began searching for the best flower to begin with. Not that he had any idea what constituted as a perfect starter flower, but as long as he scrutinised the bouquet, he surely looked competent and there was nothing more attractive than a person who knew what they were doing.

Geralt frowned. "And what exactly is it you need both hands for?"

"Why, making a flower crown, of course." Jaskier beamed up at Geralt and randomly pulled a flower out of Geralt's grip to begin. "I mean, really, it's a shame that I haven't thought if this before. But a bard out there in the wilderness without flowers on his head? That's just wasted potential."

Geralt gave an amused hum. "Are you sure you want to put flowers on your head?"

"Absolutely." Jaskier's voice left no room for argument. "I am going to look beautiful with it."

Geralt is going to look at him and think him beautiful.

"What does it matter? There's no one here to impress."

Jaskier's hands faltered and just for a second his eyes darted up to glare Geralt.

"Who says I want to impress anyone?" His voice definitely didn't waver and there was no way to interpret his words as defensive. "Can't I just want to be pretty for the sake of being pretty?"

Geralt grumbled something dismissively. It was wishful thinking, but to Jaskier is almost sounded like "You don't need flower crowns for that."

More to hide his burning face than anything else, Jaskier turned his attention back to the flowers and started weaving - or rather chaotically knotting – them together.

Geralt let him work in silence, but whenever Jaskier glanced up to pull another flower out of the bouquet, he found Geralt's eyes on him. It made his neck feel hot and his chest tight.

Somehow, as if by some miracle, he finished the flower crown. It wasn't stunning by any means, but it was passable. Kind if pretty even. Actually, for a first try it was downright amazing.

Filled with excitement about his craft, Jaskier hopped the crown around his arm so he'd have both of his hands available again and made to work on Geralt's crown.

"Looks like you got too many flowers," Geralt said, lips twitching up.

"Don't be ridiculous." Jaskier rolled his eyes good naturedly and bound some more flowers together. "I'm making a second crown."

"You know Roach will eat the flowers before you'll be able to put them on her head.”

Jaskier's hands froze and his heart jumped into his throat. He had forgotten to ask Geralt if he even wanted a crown. Judging from how he didn't even think about wearing the crown himself, it was quite clear just how much he didn't want it.

Jaskier's eyes went to Roach, silently begging her for help, but the horse was just munching on some grass, giving him an unimpressed and perhaps slightly judgemental look.

"It's not for Roach." Jaskier blurted, thoughts stumbling over each other to find an excuse. "It's for me. They’re both for me. Obviously. Why would I wear just one crown if I could have two and be doubly pretty, am I right?"

He grinned at Geralt in a way that begged please kill me now and let this embarrassment be over. But Geralt didn't grant him that mercy but at least he didn't call him out in his nonsense either. Instead his lips quirked up and he handed Jaskier another flower, unprompted.

While working on the second crown, Jaskier started talking again. One might also say he was rambling. Anything to distract Geralt from the way Jaskier's cheeks were bright red and he was still cursing himself for his stupidity on the inside.

He told Geralt about how he had always wanted to wear flower crowns ever since he had read a story book about a princess with flowers in her hair as a child.

Occasionally, Geralt would grace his tale with a hum or a barely noticeable upwards quirk of his lips.

Jaskier took that as encouragement. He continued to talk about how his sisters used to wear flower crowns when they were young, about how Jaskier had always been envious about how pretty they looked with pink, blue and yellow flowers in on their heads. He reminisced about all the times he gifted flower crowns to his dance partners during Belleteyn and never got any in return.  

More than once it looked as if Geralt was going to open his mouth, but then he always thought better of it and contented himself with listening to Jaskier.

It was only when Jaskier eventually ran out of flower related things to talk about that Geralt spoke up again.

“You’re getting better,” he commented, nodding towards the now finished second crown.

Jaskier’s face lit up but he forced his voice to sound nonchalant and teasing. “Why Geralt, is that a compliment?”

Geralt’s lips twitched. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Oh, that’s exactly where it’s going.” Jaskier winked and put both crowns on his head.

He felt a little stupid wearing both of them, but the sheepishness was quickly overshadowed by the giddy excitement of finally making his childhood dream come true.

A small giggle escaped Jaskier and he didn’t care how silly he probably looked; there was just too much joy bubbling up inside him that needed to be released somehow. He twirled and threw his head back laughing. Quickly he realised his mistake, when the crowns threatened to fall off. His hands flew to the flowers to hold them in place.

When he came to a stop, he found Geralt’s eyes fixed on him with an unexpected softness, though he quickly schooled his face into a neutral expression when he caught Jaskier’s eyes. It wasn't fast enough for Jaskier to miss and try how he might, Geralt would never be able to hide such a fond look from Jaskier.

"So?" Jaskier made a point of fiddling with the crowns as if he was righting a fancy little hat. "How do I look?"

Geralt contemplated him a long moment with a complicated expression. "Happy."

Jaskier's moth went dry. The way Geralt had said it made it sound like he meant so much more.

"Geralt-"

He let go of the crowns, but the universe saved – or damned - him from doing something stupid like take Geralt's face in his hands and kiss him. Now that he wasn't holding onto the flower crowns anymore, they immediately fell over his eyes.

Jaskier let out a little noise of surprise that very much wasn't an undignified squeak.

Geralt chuckled and had Jaskier not been squeezing his eyes shut to avoid having leaves poke them, he would have glared at Geralt.

As if was, he found that he couldn't be upset even when Geralt was making fun of his misfortune. Geralt's laugh was too beautiful a sound to ever want him to stop. Especially if Jaskier was the one making him laugh.

"Guess there were too many flowers after all," Geralt said and Jaskier could practically hear his smug smile.

Jaskier tried to lift the crowns, but he couldn't tell where one ended and the other began and he absolutely wasn't going to risk them falling apart because he tugged on the wrong one.

"I just miscalculated a little," Jaskier grumbled, but his own lips were stretched wide grin. "You know you could do the noble thing and save me from my predicament."

Almost immediately he felt the lightest touch on his cheek. For a second, Jaskier's heart sped up at how tenderly Geralt was touching him. But then it hit him.

Even if Geralt ever were to caress his cheek softly, he would not be able to do it that softly. In fact, the touch was so light it almost tickled.

Jaskier furrowed his brows and his heart began racing in earnest for a very different reason.

"Geralt?"

Something buzzed right next to his ear. Something that sounded very big and very crawly.

"Geralt!" Jaskier almost shrieked, but all the reply he got from Geralt the traitor was another laugh.

Another light touch as something landed on his skin, this time on his hands.

Immediately, he pulled them away from the flowers and clutched them protectively against his chest. He needed his hands. He couldn't let some insect sting his fingers.

He wanted to call out for Geralt again, demand that he help him, but the bug on his face chose that moment to crawl closer to his lips.

Jaskier snapped his mouth shut and held his breath.

"Now there's that blessed silence," Geralt teased as if he didn't even notice the danger Jaskier was in.

Mentally, Jaskier took back everything he had thought before. Right now he wanted to wipe away the smirk that undoubtedly was on Geralt's face. And if Geralt didn’t stop laughing, Jaskier was going to write the most scathing song about him, once he could open his mouth again.

Oh gods, but what if keeping his lips pressed together wasn't enough? What if one of those crawling things decided to go up his nose?

The buzzing around his head got louder. More insects landed on him and Jaskier could do nothing but keep his eyes and lips shut and pray none of the insects were dangerous.

He was tense as a bow string and his heart was thumping like a rabbit’s foot hitting the ground.

He could feel tiny legs all over him, could hear nothing but that horrible buzzing. He couldn't stop the whimper that escaped him.

"Jaskier?" All traces of humour were gone from Geralt's voice. In fact, he sounded concerned.

Oh. Oh no. If Geralt was worried, that could only mean that something truly bad was happening. Maybe one of the bugs had a venomous bite. Maybe one of the things on Jaskier's head was the larva of a giant centipede. Maybe one of them was a were-bug and Jaskier would get turned into a disgusting insect himself!

Jaskier wanted to leave. He just wanted to go back to civilisation where he was safe from those tiny monsters. Adventure be damned. Inspiration be damned. Flower crowns be damned. He would be happy if he'd never have to see another insect again. If being pestered by swarms of insects was the prize for walking the Path, Jaskier would not shed a single tear abandoning it. Good riddance.

If only that didn't mean that he'd also lose Geralt...

"Jaskier?" Geralt repeated, softer this time. He sounded closer.

Strangely enough, the touch if the insects disappeared and got replaced by another sense of tickling, but this was one warm and almost glowing. It washed over his skin and spread wider around him. Slowly, the buzzing grew more distant until it disappeared fully.

A warm hand brushed Jaskier's temple and the crowns were pushed back onto the top of his head where they belonged. Well, we're one of them belonged.

Carefully, Jaskier opened his eyes again. He let out a tiny gasp and then his breath got stuck again for a different reason. Geralt was standing surprisingly close to him, their chests almost touching. The hand not occupied with the flower crowns was twisted into an uncomfortable looking shape.

Quen.

A dome of warm golden light surrounded them. Jaskier hadn't known the sign could be used to keep bugs at bay, but as far as he was concerned insects did definitely count as fiendish enemies and he wasn't about to complain about the protection. Especially not since Geralt was looking at him with his brows knitted together in soft worry and his hand left the crowns to caress his cheek instead.

"I take it the story about the princess didn't warn you about the bugs?" Te corner of Geralt's lips twitched into a half-smile.

Jaskier shook his head and swallowed. "No, definitely not." He leaned into Geralt's touch. It was warm and comforting and Jaskier never wanted him to let go again.

Maybe... Maybe if this touch was the reward he got for bravely withstanding the terror of the insects, he could face the bugs again sometimes. Maybe. Perhaps being in nature wasn't too bad if he had Geralt with him.

"There's one thing the story did teach me, though."

"Oh?" Geralt's brows rose a little.

"At the end the hero gets a kiss." Before his bravery or foolishness could leave him, he leaned forward and pressed the softest kiss against Geralt's lips.

He expected the kiss to be over quickly, little more than a brush if lips, but Geralt's hand on his cheek travelled to the back of his head, holding him close.

Jaskier lifted his own hands, burying them into Geralt's hair. Geralt let out a soft sound and then a second hand found its place at the small of Jaskier's back.

Jaskier pulled back, just enough to speak, his lips nearly brushing against Geralt's with every word.

"Geralt, put the damn Quen back." His eyes narrowed. "I am not kissing you with bugs crawling all over me."

"Perhaps you could give one crown to me and share the burden?"

Jaskier drew back suspiciously. "You mean that?" he asked slowly, his insides twisting in excitement. "You would really wear my flower crown?"

Geralt shrugged. "I don't want you to complain about the bugs and the leaves in your hair," he grumbled, but his eyes shone with a fondness that made Jaskier's heart swell. The hand on Jaskier’s back gave a small squeeze and tugged him closer. "And I happen to like my hand right where it is."

Jaskier lifted his chin defiantly, mischief and another, softer emotion lighting up his eyes. "You can pretend not to like my voice all you want, but you just traded your blessed silence for my comfort. I know where your priorities lie."

Geralt hummed quietly, the smile on his lips getting wider and his thumb caressed Jaskier's cheek, coming to rest at the corner of his lips.

"Maybe I don't mind your voice too much when you're talking about something you like. Or when you're singing. Or laughing." He leaned forward, too fast for Jaskier to react and stole a quick peck. "And I prefer keeping you silent by kissing you."

Jaskier rolled his eyes and snorted. "Who knew you could be such a romantic," he deadpanned and shook his head fondly. "Truly, you know how to charm a man with your words."

"It's working isn't it?"

"Perhaps."

With a mental strength Jaskier didn't know he possessed, he let go of Geralt's hair and lifted one of his flower crowns off his head to put it on Geralt's instead.

For a long moment, he just stared at Geralt, admiring him. The colours of the blossoms contrasted beautifully with Geralt's hair. But that wasn't what took Jaskier's breath away. It was the fact that Geralt actually looked happy like this. Happy to be with Jaskier. Happy to make him happy.

"You know" Jaskier said with smug satisfaction as a bug with shimmering green wings landed on Geralt's forehead, "you're lucky I love you more than I hate bugs."

Geralt snorted. "Now who's the romantic?"

Jaskier could have answered with a quip if he wanted to. He most certainly had multiple quick-witted responses to that.

Too bad that he too liked kissing Geralt's words away.

And so that was what he did.

They only broke away again when Geralt's crown fell into his eyes. Jaskier burst out into a well-deserved laugh at Geralt's dumbfounded look. As much as Jaskier liked kissing him, he found that he also rather liked the way Geralt's eyes lit up when he joined the laughter.

He could get used to this. In fact, as he buried his face in Geralt's chest to stifle his giggles and could feel Geralt's heart beneath him, he knew that he could battle any creepy crawlies if it meant that he got to keep this.

---

tag list: @snowfea @diedfromembarrassmentlikeasim @thebloodletter7 @eleos-fawn @palefuckingmeme @irongal21 (sorry for tagging you unasked, but you seemed to like the idea when I posted it a while ago so I figured you might like this too)

[fluffernuttermemes]

The Seventh Seal (det sjunde inseglet) Sentence Starters

Starters from the 1957 film directed by Ingmar Bergman. Content warning: mentions of death and religion.

“I am Death.”

“Have you come for me?”

“I’ve long been at your side.”

“My body is afraid, but I am not.”

“You all say that. But I grant no reprieves.”

“You play [GAME], do you not?”

“I am quite a skillful player.”

“Why do you wish to play [GAME] with me?”

“If I win, you set me free.”

“Very appropriate, don’t you think?”

“Which way to the inn?”

“He was most eloquent. Though what he had to say was very depressing.”

“Good morning. Have you had your breakfast?”

“Can you teach me how?”

“Wake up! I saw something!”

“I had a vision! No, it wasn’t a vision, it was quite real.”

“Who did you see?”

“You don’t believe me, but it’s true!”

“Why must you always bring that up?”

“Yes, I may have made that up, but only so you’d believe my other visions, the real ones.”

“I’ve begged and pleaded, but nothing helps, so now I’m telling you! Shut up!”

“I wrote a song as I lay awake the whole night. Do you want to hear it?”

“The priests pay well, so I perform.”

“Why not put on something raunchy? People prefer it and it’s more fun.”

“What parts are we playing?”

“Will the ladies fancy me in this getup?”

“I still love you.”

“What’s that supposed to be?”

“Why do you paint such nonsense?”

“Why try to cheer them up? Why not scare them a bit?”

“The more they think, the more scared they’ll be.”

“I paint things as they are. People can do what they like.”

“Best to hide in a ditch until they pass.”

“A person’s got to live. At least until death takes them.”

“Got any [ALCOHOL]? I’ve had nothing to drink but water all day.”

“I want to confess as honestly as I can, but my heart is empty.”

“The emptiness is a mirror turned towards my own face.”

“My indifference to my fellow humans has cut me off from their company.”

“Must it be so cruelly inconceivable to know [NAME] through one’s senses? Why must [THEY] hide in a fog of half-spoken promises and unseen miracles?”

“How can we believe the believers when we cannot believe ourselves?”

“What will become of us who want to believe but cannot? And what of those who neither will nor can believe?”

“Why can I not kill off this [NAME] within me? Why must [THEY] live on inside me in this painful, humiliating way when I want to tear [THEM] out of my heart?”

“I want knowledge. Not faith or conjecture, but knowledge.”

“I want [NAME] to show [THEIR] face, reach out [THEIR] hand, and speak to me.”

“I cry to [THEM] in the darkness, but it’s like no one is there.”

“We carve an idol out of our fear and call it [NAME].”

“Death visited me this morning.”

“I want to use my reprieve for one meaningful act.”

“How will you outwit [THEM]?”

“You’re a traitor and you tricked me.”

“But we will meet again, and I will find a way out.”

“It was so stupid that only an idealist could have thought it up.”

“Your soup stinks like Hell.”

“We must ward off the devil.”

“Must you sing?”

“Why are you so surprised I steal from the dead? It’s a lucrative business nowadays.”

“It’s everyone for himself. It’s as simple as that.”

“I know you, though it’s been a long time.”

“You look uncomfortable. Stomach bothering you?”

“I suddenly understand the meaning of those ten wasted years.”

“I’ve grown tired of that kind of love.”

“Well, don’t stand there gaping! I saved your life, you know!”

“Stop that, you scoundrel!”

“Don’t you know this could be your final hour?”

“Death is at your back. I see his crown glistening in the sun. His scythe flashes above your head.”

“Don’t you fools know you’re going to die?!”

“All this raving about doom. Do they really expect modern people to take that drivel seriously?”

“So you haven’t seen [HIM/HER/THEM]?”

“No one dares say it aloud, but this is the end.”

“Me? Lying?”

“Pale, aren’t you? Got a bad conscience?”

“Suppose we mark you up a bit, like we do with scoundrels.”

“Do you mean to hurt me? Why?”

“I won’t. I can’t.”

“I can’t go on.”

“You remember what I said we’d do it we met again?!”

“Where have you been?”

“I’d advise you not to go that way.”

“You can come with me through the forest and stay in my home.”

“There’s nothing strange about that.”

“Why so pleased?”

“You fell right into my trap.”

“Why are you sitting here crying all alone?”

“If everything is imperfect in this imperfect world, then love is perfect in its perfect imperfection.”

“Ask for a word of advice and I’ll give you two.”

“I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

“Why are you laughing? This is serious.”

“Wait a minute. I didn’t mean any harm.”

“Your time is up.”

“No loopholes? No exceptions?”

“I thought of killing the soldiers, but [HE’S/SHE’S/THEY’RE] already nearly dead.”

“I must ask the Devil about God. He must know, or nobody does.”

“Well, what do you see? Do you see it?”

“What have you done to the child?”

“Do you never stop asking questions?”

“I told you to be careful! Don’t go near her!”

“What does [HE/SHE/THEY] see? Can you answer that?”

“Who’s watching over that child?”

“Look at [HIS/HER/THEIR] eyes. [HIS/HER/THEIR] poor brain has just made a discovery. There’s emptiness in the moonlight.”

“I’m afraid of dying! I don’t want to die!!”

“Have pity on me. Help me.”

“What will happen to me? Won’t you console me? Have you no compassion?!”

“We must try to escape. They’re so engrossed in their game they won’t notice if we leave quietly.”

“Have you lost interest in our game?”

“You look anxious. Are you hiding something?”

“Nothing escapes me. No one escapes me.”

“You can’t get away that easily.”

“You’ll be checkmated in the next move.”

“When we meet next, the hour will strike for you and your companions.”

“I have no secrets.”

“So you know nothing?”

“[HE/SHE/THEY] saw us! [HE’S/SHE’S/THEY’RE] chasing us!”

“I heard you were coming, so I waited. All the others have fled.”

“Don’t you know me anymore?”

“O Lord, have mercy upon us, for we are small and frightened and ignorant…!”

“Even in this final moment, feel the triumph of being alive!”

[drowningbydegrees]

This is distinctly less fluffy than most of what I’ve been writing lately, but... it ends well? For the Music Prompt List:

16. Mosso (Italian: moved, agitated) more, with motion or animation~fighting, leaving

Read on AO3

He has a plan.

Okay, admittedly calling it a plan is somewhat of an exaggeration. What Geralt has is an overwhelming sense of grief that floods the empty spaces left behind as his temper ebbs, and the horrifying realization that while it all hurts, it’s Jaskier’s departure that leaves his heart aching. What he has is an urgent need to set things right, and only a nebulous idea of how to do so. For starters though, he needs to catch up to Jaskier. That’s a straightforward task to set his mind to, and Geralt assumes he’ll figure out the rest on the road.

It should be a reasonable assumption to make. It’s a long path down the mountain, and even though he’s moving briskly, trying to catch Jaskier before the bard reaches the bottom, there’s plenty of time to think.

Plenty of time is not enough, apparently, because he finds Jaskier just after dark, sitting miserably in front of a campfire, and… nothing. He stares at the evidence of what a mess he’s made without a single useful thought in his head.

The bard had been idly strumming some song Geralt thinks he’s heard bits and pieces of, but it cuts off in a discordant twang as Jaskier sees him. There’s a distinctly bitter edge to Jaskier’s greeting. “Geralt. Kind of hard for life to bless you with my absence if you’re going to insist on following me.”

“There’s only one way down the mountain,” Geralt points out, even though that has nothing to do with why he stopped. It’s a mistake judging from the stormy expression that settles upon Jaskier’s features.

“Well, no need to stop on my account.” Jaskier doesn’t look at him, but Geralt can hear the slight waver in the bard’s voice. He could go. Jaskier seems to want that, and maybe he even should. But Geralt finds himself quite certain that if he leaves there will be no repairing this, and he has to try.

He doesn’t ask, certain what the answer will be, but Geralt strays from the road, leaving no more room for ambiguity. The words might have come out wrong, but he’s here because he wants to make amends, not because he saw Jaskier in passing. The bard values words in a way Geralt rarely has much use for, but he tries. “What I said… wasn’t fair.”

“No. It wasn’t.” Jaskier scowls at the fire as if it has personally offended him. “But good to know what you really think. You might’ve just told me that, oh, a couple of decades ago and saved us both from this.”

“That’s not-” Geralt doesn’t know how to finish and Jaskier never gives him the chance to decide.

“Not what, Geralt? Because so help me, if you tell me that’s not what you meant I might scream.” Jaskier gets to his feet, seeming to decide being loomed over is an unacceptable state of being.

“I don’t think that. I meant it at the time, a bit, but not… It wasn’t true,” Geralt settles on. “I just wanted to be alone.”

“Right. So, what then? You know what things flay me right down to my bones because I’ve trusted you with my everything. But you fashioned them into a weapon just because my existence was inconvenient to your… your brooding.” Anger is a feeling Geralt recognizes, one he knows how to rise up to meet. But this isn’t anger. There’s agony under all Jaskier’s fury, and Geralt would be hard pressed to think of a time he’s hated himself more than he does in the moment where Jaskier’s voice cracks. “You don’t get to just change your mind and pretend we’re good as new.”

Geralt bows his head “I know that.”

Jaskier holds his lute like a wall between them. “And yet, here you are.”

It’s rare that they’ve ever really argued beyond annoyed squabbling, but Jaskier is no shrinking violet. Geralt doesn’t know what to do in the face of it that won’t make things worse, so he holds his hands up in something like surrender. “Jaskier. Give me a chance to explain. Please.”

By some miracle, Jaskier doesn’t say no. The bard glowers at him, his eyes seeming icy in the moonlight. It’s an unsettling contrast to the fire’s glow across the rest of him. “That might be the first time you’ve said that in twenty years.”

Much as he hates to admit it, that’s probably not far off the mark, and Geralt privately resolves to be better if Jaskier deigns to give him the chance. But later is not right now, and Jaskier looks about two heartbeats away from turning Geralt back out into the dark.

“Jaskier, I…” Geralt sucks in a breath and tries again. “It wasn’t about you.”

“I know.” It’s awful, the way Jaskier smiles. The brittle, mirthless thing pulls at the corners of his mouth, never reaching his eyes. “I know and that’s so much worse. Don’t you realize?”

Geralt doesn’t say anything, but his expression must give away his confusion, because Jaskier sighs at him and keeps talking. “If you'd run me off on my own merits, I'd deserve that. Well, not deserve it necessarily, because that was entirely uncalled for, but it would be... something.”

There’s some kind of disconnect, and Geralt is relatively sure Jaskier isn’t talking about his choice of words, but he’s equally sure he has no idea what Jaskier actually means. “You want me to have been upset with you?”

“No! I just wanted to matter!” Jaskier shouts at Geralt, but almost immediately deflates, huffing out a miserable, strained laugh. “I just wanted to be something more to you than the collateral damage in someone else's storm.”

Emotion would have Geralt shouting right back, but he quells the urge. He owes Jaskier that much. Only when Jaskier is finished, drawing in ragged breaths does Geralt allow himself to speak. “But you do. You are.”

Jaskier makes a wounded sort of sound and crumples a little where he stands, all the fight gone out of him with his last outburst. The way he lets his head fall forward, Geralt can’t see Jaskier’s expression, but the bard’s words are laced with anguish. “You can’t just say that. You don’t get to do that to me now.”

It comes together, a single rock dislodged only to bring a landslide. Decades, Jaskier has spent at his side, and it’s only now that the why of it all settles in. He’s been so blind and with no way to take it back, there is only forward.

Words aren’t enough. That much is clear, even if it leaves Geralt at a loss. The coast? They should have just gone, but he’d been a fool and it’s entirely out of reach now. Start smaller, he tells himself, and cautiously takes a step closer. Hushed, like Jaskier is a wild thing he’s trying not to spook, Geralt pulls together what he thinks he probably should’ve said from the beginning. “What I said before wasn’t about you, but this is.”

“What?” Jaskier’s head jerks up, but the bard looks like he’s bracing himself for a blow.

“I came here for you. Not a side effect of something or someone else. Just you.” Geralt lifts a hand to reach out, but never actually closes the distance. Jaskier is nothing if not tactile and Geralt had thought… but he has no right. Not when he’s driven such a wedge between them. Curling his fingers against his palm, the witcher forces himself to finish the thought. “I never meant to make you feel incidental.”

Jaskier looks at Geralt with something he can’t quite place, and he doesn’t dare ask for fear of shattering their fragile armistice. The seconds spread out into what feels like eternity, horrible in their silence. Geralt scarcely breathes.

”I really hate you sometimes.” Jaskier sighs like the whole world is resting on his shoulders, but he sets his lute aside in favor of dragging Geralt into a haphazard embrace. “For fuck’s sake.”

It’s really more like Jaskier drags himself to Geralt, who is pretty certain he hasn’t moved at all. Some part of him had been so certain Jaskier was going to turn him away that it takes a moment to parse what it means that the bard’s arms are wrapped around him instead. Little by little, Geralt returns the gesture, gingerly resting one hand between Jaskier’s shoulder blades and the other against the back of the bard’s head. Jaskier tucks his nose against the side of the witcher’s neck, and it’s not an intimacy he’s eared, but Geralt quietly accepts it.

“I’m sorry,” Geralt murmurs against Jaskier’s temple, and truly, he is. He closes his eyes against the night that crowds in around them. “Forgive me.”

“Idiot. Did that before I even left,” Jaskier replies, the words muffled against Geralt’s throat. “Forgiveness was never the problem.”

That only makes the whole thing ache more, that Jaskier was ready to forgive before Geralt even thought to regret what he’d done. It leaves him more than a little unmoored, unable to fathom how Jaskier can so easily let go after Geralt wounded him with his own insecurities. But perhaps that could mend in time. “Then let me prove it.”

“That you’re sorry?” Jaskier lifts his head enough to rest his chin on Geralt’s shoulder. “I don’t doubt that.”

“That you matter to me.” It’s not the confession Jaskier deserves, but it’s the only one Geralt dares give voice to. He fears even that is a step too far when Jaskier’s breath catches. Unable to see his face, Geralt can’t quite tell if that’s a pleased sound or an aggrieved one.

Jaskier doesn’t pull entirely out of Geralt’s arms, but enough to give the witcher a watery smile. “Well, I guess if you must.”

They’re not quite alright. But as Geralt lets himself be herded to sit down beside the dwindling fire, he allows himself to entertain the notion that they will be.

You can find the rest of my Witcher fanworks here. <3