#how do i gain the motivation to WANT to exist and WANT others to know that i exist without the fear of rejection eating me alive
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mannnnnnnn. i think not being taught how to be a person while also not being treated like one growing up did something to me
#what do u mean parents are supposed to help u work thru ur emotions instead of reprimanding u for feeling in the first place#what do u mean ive devoted my life to never feeling anything too strongly or even at all out of fear that id be hated for it#and the consequence of that denial of emotions has led me to not feeling like a person at all most days#my existence feels the same as a thought. intangible and only ever known to others if i speak it out#how do i gain the motivation to WANT to exist and WANT others to know that i exist without the fear of rejection eating me alive#how do i get in touch with my emotions and let myslef actually feel and process them without burning myself at the same time#i dont want to be a person but i do but i dont. but i HAVE to if im going to make it#sigh. i need my own space to figure out who exactly i am and what i want to give to this world#if i just keep giving myself to others without taking myself into considerstion i dont think ill have anything to give to myself after
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the elitism in magic education
HELLO đ€Ą I have come to you today with an analysis of Fellow Honest's motives and what they imply about the mages and non-mages in the world of Twisted Wonderland, as well as the state of magic education as it relates to one's social status. It's a doozy, so let's get right into it! ***WARNING: Spoilers for Stage in Playful Land!!***
Fellow's resentment of the elite harkens back to something I've always suspected but also something that Twisted Wonderland has seldom gone out of its way to shine a harsh spotlight on. That "something" is the discrepancy between the "haves" and the "have-nots" in terms of magic. With the main setting of TWST being a private magic school, of course the lens through which we view many events will be from this perspective as well... and that limits what we see and hear. Most of the NPCs we encounter (even the annoying ones, such as the Magicam Monsters from the first Halloween event) endlessly praise the NRC students just for attending a famous magic school. If we look closely though, weâll start to see cracks in the shiny rose-colored lenses (which, coincidentally, is how Fellowâs UM name is written).
To begin with, we are told that only 10% of the human population (for the sake of argument, let's assume that most other races also have low magic rates) is even capable of magic to begin with. Of this 10%, the majority of people with the aptitude for magic only have enough to barely be able to lift a cup. In order to qualify for a prestigious magic school like Night Raven College or Royal Sword Academy, you'd literally have to be the cream of the crop and get lucky in terms of genetics. Magic cannot be learned by someone that was not born with the innate ability for it, and not everyone who is the child of a mage will be capable of magic themselves. This is already one HUGE barrier for entry. We now have more to consider.
Night Raven College is notably a private boarding school. This potentially means that students may need to pay a tuition fee for classes, room, and board. Perhaps this tuition doesn't exist, since NRC doesn't take applications but rather hand-selects its students. Additionally, NRC is based on a British school, and most European schools cost little to nothing to attend. However, it's hard to believe a school as fancy as NRC is a private institution that runs solely on the charity and goodwill of donors (though we do see Crowley happily accepting donations as well, specifically from the local town and from Kalimâs family). Realistically speaking, Stuff Costs Money, and if you Want Stuff, you also Need Money. NRC is not raising these mages of the future out of the goodness of their hearts, NRC is raising these mages because there is profit and prestige to be gained from the endeavor. What if there are students who are picked to go but end up having to leave because they canât afford it?? This point is just speculative though; I wonât count it as actual evidence since there is no in-game lore which confirms tuition. We do know, however, that students do at least have to pay for their dorm uniforms, as Ruggie has mentioned he could not afford oneâhence why he wears a hand-me-down from Leona. We also know students are on their own when it comes to paying for their food, as both Ruggie and Deuce mention being low on cash in reference to buying meals/snacks. Buuuuut even if we discount that money is a factor that gatekeeps some selected students from attending or having the cash to just get by on a daily basis, what we cannot ignore is that money inherently puts some people ahead of others before magic schools even recruit them.
Because the majority of those in Twisted Wonderland are incapable of using magic, magic is not typically included in general education. This means that if your kid manifests magic and you want them to be "ahead of the curve", you'd need to seek out resources for magic training and education. Now, this could mean reading materials, private tutoring, or reaching out to mages you know of. The problem with all of these things is that they tend to require money and/or connections, which are things not everyone has access to. Idia even says in book 6 that Riddle has an âartificially largeâ pool of magic due to how young Riddle started his magic training, meaning that the wealthy has the resources to just produce âbetterâ mages. The rich also have more money to throw into items to help with magical training, such as bigger and better magestones (which must sell for substantial amount in the first place since Ruggie tries to save some to pawn off later in Vargas Camp) to keep mages healthier for longer (since magestones help absorb blot). This keeps power concentrated in an already elevated class. (Note: research has shown that money opens up and expands one's connections, which still puts the rich in an advantageous position compared to the less fortunate. There are also studies that show impoverished people who happen to have rich friends have a better chance of raising their own social standing just because of the doors and connections that rich friend can open for them.) Look at who in the main cast remarks on having formal magic training: literal royalty like Leona and the upper middle class like Riddle. Again, one could say that because schools like NRC appear to hand-pick students regardless of how much formal magic training they had prior to enrollment. However, the fact remains that it simply looks better to potential recruiters (using this blanket term because we don't know how magic schools besides NRC gets its students) and better prepares the child for magic school curriculum to get an early start on it.
Looking back at the 22 boys that make up the main cast, close to three-quarters or ~75% of them come from at least upper middle-class backgrounds and quite a few could classify as wealthy:
Riddle's parents are both doctors, with Riddle's mom in particular being well-known and well-regarded in their home community.
Cater's dad is a banker; his position is high enough up that he needs to relocate every so often (presumably to service their largest or most important firms).
Leona is a literal prince. Even if he isn't destined to be king, he still has access to the resources and wealth avaliable to a royal.
Azul's mom owns the most popular restaurant in the entire Coral Sea (have you seen how large the Coral Sea is on the world map???), and his stepdad is a lawyer.
The twins' family is said to be well-off; they are able to afford luxuries like fancy clothes and Mr. Leech stresses the importance of manners and presentation. He is implied to have business associates who are also well-off and would like to get in his good graces. (Popular fan speculation is that the Leeches are a crime family.)
Kalim is the heir to a massive family fortune and trading business. He also has relatives (by marriage, I believe) who are royals.
Jamil, as Kalim's attendant, is also from a reasonably well-off family; they receive benefits unique to being closely tied with the Asims, such as exposure to elite society and lessons to acquire various skills, albeit these benefits comes with being in the lower social position of a servant.
Vil's father is an A-list celebrity, and Vil is also one himself.
We don't know the specifics of what Rook's family does, but it must be well-paying, as we learn in book 5 that the Hunts have villas all over Twisted Wonderland, as well as permissions for international travel via warp pads.
Idia and Ortho's family run a secret organization that researches blot. S.T.Y.X. is so secretive that basically only those in super high positions like Crowley and Leona would know about them. Let's also not forget that the Shrouds have ties to the Jupiter Conglomerate and the Olympus Corp, which is a tech giant in the world of TWST.
Malleus is prince AND the heir to his kingdomâs throne. He is also one of the top 5 most powerful mages in the entire WORLD.
Lilia is a renown war general and a close friend of royalty. He raised a young Malleus as well.
Silver is Lilia's adopted son and is actually a prince himself.
Sebek's parents are dentists. They must make mad money. His grandfather is also a respected knight that served alongside Lilia.
Notice how all the dorm leaders are upper middle class or higher; the vice dorm leaders have ONE normal person (Trey); in Playful Land, Trey confesses to living a comfortable life so we know he must be at least middle class.
We can try to argue all we like that NRC doesn't discriminate based on social status for their selections, but if that's the case then why are so few of the main cast from impoverished or low-income families? Only Ace, Trey, and Jack count as squarely middle class. Ruggie is the only example we have of someone from a very low socioeconomic status rising up to be among "elites". The other example is Deuce, who comes from a single parent household and has implied they don't have a lot of money (for example: how the VDC/SDC earnings will help out his family). (Epel is kind of a ??? case because depending on where in the story you are, his family could be in financial trouble or not; in book 5, they imply his entire village is having difficulties selling product until Vil promotes Harveston apples on his Magicam.) Maybe it's unfair to say that 22 students out of 800ish is representative of the makeup of the entire NRC student population (or represents the composition of all magic schools), but Ruggie confirms in his Birthday Boy vignettes that a majority of the students at NRC are decently well-off. This single digit representation of low-income students is also true of real-life elite schools. They are private schools for a reason; it naturally gatekeeps who is and isn't "allowed" to attend, leading to the majority of its students being members of the elite.
Another thing to consider is legacy students. This term refers to the increased likelihood of people being accepted into a school if they had a relative that also attended that school. We know of two instances of this happening: Ace's brother and Sebek's brother also went to and graduated from Night Raven College. Ace even makes a remark during his sorting ceremony that he ended up in the same dorm as his older brother "as expected". If magic aptitude is genetic, then perhaps it makes sense to recruit from the same families--but again, this is inherently restrictive, as you would continuously be culling from the same pools generation after generation.
Back on the topic of bloodlines and family, what about Kalim, who has an extensive family? There will be no shortage of Asim mages going to NRC just because of legacy (Jamil even alludes to the fact that the previous Scarabia dorm leader was an Asim relative, and his recommendation is what got Kalim the dorm leader seat). And speaking of Kalim, consider instances where rich families are able to bribe faculty (lookin' at YOU, Crowley) or donate a large sum to get their kid ahead or to be given priority over others that may be more qualified than them (RIP Jamil). To continue off that point, NRC itself is structured as a "dog eat dog" world. Those with inherently more magical ability have the right to trump over others. You can duel and lose your dorm seat to a more powerful mage, even if you trump them in terms of merit or leadership qualities. Students feel a sense of duty to obey those who have bested them in battle (ie Epel's servitude to Vil). Everyone fears Malleus. Your magical power is respected above all else.
Attitudes surrounding magic have notably shifted from fear of it several hundreds of years ago (around the human-fae war, back when âwitchâ and âwizardâ were used in a derogatory sense) to recognizing it for its strengths and actively seeking it or granting some favoritism to those who have it. There is, in fact, now class discrimination in based on whether or not you can use magic. We got an early instance of this as early as book 1 of the main story, when Riddle insults Yuu for their "pitiful" education and states that they were clearly "born to parents with no great magical capability". Itâs something that clearly rubs Ace, who has a magicless father, the wrong way, and he stands up for Yuu. There are other subtle hints about this divide sprinkled throughout the lore. For example, Ruggie has a voice line which he indicates that the slums where he comes from doesnât produce many magic users. Again, recall that magic runs in bloodlines. This could potentially allude to a past where those without magic were forced into lower income neighborhoods, which results in pockets like Ruggieâs hometown with a high population of magicless individuals living in poverty. This doesnât appear to be a large scale issue (perhaps its only an isolated case?), but this is worth paying attention to.
This could all translate into the professional world too. Some jobs are entirely locked behind magic (ie you just cannot do them or pursue them if you don't have the magical ability for it). Some jobs DO require magic (ie medical mages like Riddle's parents, magic police force officers, technomantic inventors, etc) and probably additional training that goes with it. As a result, I'd imagine that these magic-intensive jobs pay quite a bit more. There may also be overall more job opportunities for those capable of magic, since magic is so much more efficient than doing things by hand. The magic police force in particular are described as âeliteâ and members are REQUIRED to be mages or else you donât qualify. It means more retention of wealth and/or more upward mobility for the few impoverished that are able to enter magic schools. (This is, of course, not including the few and far between cases of regular people who get rich in select industries, such as Kalimâs father.) Recall too that NRC requires its students to take internships during their 4th years, many placements being with very prestigious groups and organizations such as pro-sports teams, labs, tech giants, etc. Being able to attend a prestigious school with connections grants those elite students even more opportunities than the average person.
Then think about what this means for people who fall short of these standards that these magic schools set. We actually have examples of them in book 5 of the main story: when Deuce and Epel are reconciling on the beach, a bunch of delinquents from another school come along and start checking out Deuceâs borrowed magical wheel. Through the NPCsâ exchange, we learn that one of them has enough magic to power a magical wheel, but not enough to do much else. This NPC also couldnât keep up in class and dropped out of a magic school. He then becomes insulted when Deuce implies he is âa beginnerâ, so this is obviously a very sore spot for him. Riddle also has dialogue that implies students dropped out of NRC prior to his reign (and since then, no Heartslabyul students have left). Additionally, consider how magic can be used to oppress and lord power over others. Deuce himself is guilty for summoning cauldrons to crush rival delinquents in fights back in Clock Townâeven if those delinquents lacked magic themselves. Similarly, Epel is implied to use magic to gain an upper hand against those that bullied him back home. This all implies a social divide between those with magic and those without, and begs of bigger questions.
What happens to the ones that donât make it? The ones that get left behind? The ones without the magic to make it âbigâ? This is the root of Fellowâs anger; heâs mad at a system that cast people like him (someone with very little magic) and Gidel (a non-mage) aside. They donât get the opportunity to make better futures for themselves. Theyâre looked down on by high-up institutions that basically tell them theyâre not good enough.
Knowing all of this, the deck appears to be stacked against the poor and non-mages. Itâs no wonder why Fellow is so mad.
THIS ACTUALLY RELATES BACK TO WHAT ROLLO SAID IN 5-2 OF GLORIOUS MASQUERADE⊠"When you have too little [magic], you're resentful. And when you have plenty [of magic], you're arrogant. You can never content yourselves." The NRC boys are arrogant (this is the side of the story weâve always known due to seeing the world mainly from their perspective). They are the âhavesâ, and we see them constantly misusing their power by fighting each other over very petty things (even if itâs against the rules to do so). But everyone else??? Theyâre scrounging for the scraps. Fellow falls into that former category; he IS the guy thatâs resentful because of his lack of magic and how something he cannot control has already determined where he and Gidel will stand in life no matter how hard they work. They can never hope to rise out of poverty, and thereâs nothing they can do about it. That must be soul-crushing.
When Fellow praises the NRC boys in that overly exaggerated way, heâs obviously being shady and facetiousâhowever, there is also a kernel of truth behind this behavior. Most other NPCs weâve met have spoken about the NRC boys favorably just because of their affiliation with a prestigious school. Itâs the same way people might be impressed if you walked around in an Ivy League branded hoodie or something. People automatically associate you with the schoolâs shiny and exclusive reputation, and thus assume you are also intelligent, talented, etc. Then, in the same way being constantly put on a pedestal like this might result in the students getting swelled heads, this only further feeds into the NRC kidsâ egos. They so privileged they donât even recognize it. And that makes Fellow fucking FUME.
Look back at Fellow's dialogue. He is constantly mentioning the prestige of the school the boys go to, or adding on extra compliments about their status and skills. He's ass-kissing to his boss, who is also wealthy or part of the upper class, then insults the boss once he hangs up. Fellow is always in a position where he HAS to be subservient to the upper class in order to make his money and get by, and he finds that entirely unfair. Imagine having to simper and placate people you absolutely despise and blame for your problems every day, people who are gorging themselves on luxuries, coasting by in life, taking everything they have for granted while you get by on penniesâthat has to get frustrating.
I want to briefly mention here that, in addition to praising the NRC students to high heaven, Fellow also talks down his own skills. He cheerfully calls himself a loser and says that no matter how much he trains, he could never reach their caliber of magic. Yes, Fellow is exaggerating to get the kids to think theyâve won, but I also have to wonder if heâs parroting the same phrases he was told long ago, from people who doubted him and never thought heâd make it. If thatâs the case, then I get the sense that Fellow is in a way âreclaimingâ his autonomy and power by adopting those same cruel words and using them as a strength. He admits to being âweakâ but is also proud of the fact that he can utilize his magic along with his natural charisma to get a leg up over others. It further fuels his new belief that going to an elite school doesnât matter, itâs practical skills that will serve you well.
Okay, back to talking about his shitty work situation! Fellowâs employer clearly doesnât treat him with decency. They berate him, make unreasonable demands, act impatient, etc. They are a typical depiction of a toxic workplace and boss. This can also be read as shorthand for the relation between the rich and the poor, and how that may have shaped (or worsened) Fellowâs views on others of the privileged class. He makes many assumptions about the NRC students without really getting to know them, calling them entitled brats. Why? Because these descriptors likely apply to the higher-ups Fellow has always slaved away for. This, in combination with his own experiences in being rejected from magic academia, has created a person who feels trodden on by society and by the upper echelons who run it and benefit off the system.
Fellow himself is the perfect example of someone who was failed by said system. He has dialogue stating that he was never given the chance to learn because his magic was not considered strong enough. Still, he tried to make an effort to earn that chance among to elites and to study among them. Fellow was rejected, ridiculed, and told he had âforgotten his placeâ, what he had been born into. There were expectations he couldnât meet, and so Fellow was thrown away like a broken toy. He has failed not because he didnât try, but because he was denied the opportunity to begin with. This is where is rage stems from. Fellow despises the students of those same kinds of institutions who kicked him down, students who donât realize how fortunate they are for their educations and will likely continue to perpetuate the system.
What, then, does that means for his signature spell, which is closely tied to oneâs identity? Letâs take a magnifying glass to it. As previously mentioned, the name for Fellowâs spell is written as âRose-Tinted Dreamâ, but it is said out loud as âLife is Funâ. The chant for it is, âCome on to the theaterâ (notably said in English rather than in Japanese). Both the spell and the incantation are references to the song Honest John sings in Pinocchio, Hi- Diddle-Dee-Dee. And⊠well, the whole UM in of itself is one big cruel joke given his circumstances now.
I think this spell is representative of a young Fellow still full of hopes and dreams, looking forward to studying at a magic school. But then those dreams are shattered and he has to commit terrible crimes to survive day-to-day, and he seems to have given up on his dreams. He even goes so far as to protect Gidel from having the same hopes he once did, telling Yuu to not put silly ideas in his head when Gidel expressed curiosity about school. At the same time, he delights in crushing the hopes of those he deems his enemies (stating that he wanted to betray Kalim to âteach him a lessonâ about how cruel the world is). Fellow knows the truth: that life isnât fun, that it will disappoint you and will put you down. His actions are very cowardly as wellâhe uses tricks and deception, he runs away from his problems instead of properly addressing them, the NRC students remark on his lack of pride. Fellow has had to throw away so much to scrape by. Yet his UM symbolizes someone brimming with hopeâso perhaps itâs a UM he manifested when Fellow still thought he had a chance?? And then people made fun of him for it being so weak?? Alternatively, maybe he didnât get his UM until after his dreams were crushed so heâs looking back on those nostalgic days of blissful ignorance with rose-colored lenses (which is, again, maybe why his UM magic name is written as âRose Tinted Dreamâ). A UM that is a reflection of oneâs true self, yet that same identity is one that has been forced to be discarded. Thatâs the reason why, despite all the swindling and scamming, I donât think Fellowâs enthusiasm for fun is a lie. Thatâs the one ârealâ part of him, but even thatâs been repurposed to help him live on scraps, something innocent twisted đ and thatâs really sad to think aboutâŠ
But also??? You could argue that Fellow still has a little bit of that lost inner child and hope left in him. He tries to defend Gidelâs understanding of the world and has goals of starting his own school despite how poorly he originally spoke about these institutions. (So Fellow does appear to care about children and their futures.) He also has a childish streak despite being an adult, demonstrated by his use of cowardly tactics, taunting kids, and abruptly quitting his job to then destroy his workplace. Fellow himself states that he âjust tries to live a free and fun lifeâ, thus his pursuit of money and pleasure. This could all play into being what defines Fellow and thus his UM. It embodies a spirit of playfulness even when he has been crushed under the weight of an unglamorous life.
Iâve heard people saying that while Rollo is Idiaâs dark mirror and Fellow is Ruggieâs. They have similar backstories but ultimately their fates are different and left the former two down far more sinister paths. Just as Rollo is an Idia that turned his anger outward instead of inward, Fellow is Ruggie had he not been given a chance to receive an education to elevate his social status and job prospects. Fellow and Ruggie both cling to rich, powerful benefactors/bosses and do their dirty work to get on byâa big difference is that Leona, while he does also work Ruggie to the bone, also has some conscience. Something else to consider is that while Ruggie prioritizes making a life for himself by studying and securing a stable, well-paying job, Fellow is focused moreso on the accumulation of wealth itself (as he suggests to Kalim heâll take a bribe to let him go free and quits when there is no longer money to be gained from his boss). Both donât really care how they get their money (even if it is by dirty means), but ultimately Ruggieâs way of making cash is more sustainable in the long run. Yet Fellow ultimately realizes the importance of school deep down despite constantly denying it when the NRC students tell him of it. Fellow is in denial because thatâs the only way he can cope and justify his lifestyle. Heâs confused when finally confronted with students who are his ideal of âhappy and freeâ, even when theyâre in an educational system that he views as shackling people into strict roles. The way he laments about not being able to go to school is also very reminiscent of an adult mourning a lost or unfulfilling childhood, which is quite a depressing scenarioâŠ
Fellow is the one that got the short end of the stick in life. Ruggie met Leona, and Leona technically uplifted him in his endeavors, tutored him into getting decent grades and giving him hand-me-downs and money in exchange for his services. Fellow never had that kind of support system, he was just insulted and bullied into giving up and had to find an alternative way to keep himself going đ
Personally, I think Fellow could also be a dark mirror to Kalim, no?? They exist on opposite ends of a social spectrum. Kalim has everything and Fellow had nothing. Whatâs more, Kalim is still wide-eyed and trusting. He is the only one willing to try words instead of fighting him and instantly labeling him as the enemy. Meanwhile, Fellow has become bitter because of how the world has betrayed him. He wants to take that trust Kalim has and show him how cruel everything truly is. Why is he fixated on that? Why even offer in the first place if he never intended on going through with it? Why does he want to rub it in Kalimâs face in particular? Maybe itâs because Kalim seems rich and dumb, as Fellow claims, but maybe itâs because there is envy there. Sure, Fellow is upset about Kalim being a sheltered brat that faces no challenges in life, but I also feel like heâs jealous that Kalim can still afford to think this way. That he can still afford to be cheerful, that he can still be a dreamer. Fellow was alluded to be like that onceâbut he canât be like that anymore, not when he has to look out for himself and Gidel.
Side note, another comparison! Recall that Kalimâs Oasis Maker is also a UM that uses a little bit of magic. However, Kalim does not know of many creative ways to use his spell, as there is no real reason to since his home country has lots of canals and irrigation. He therefore deems his UM as pretty useless. Fellow meanwhile has what most consider a weak UM but he fully utilizes it to his advantage and pairs it well with his natural charm to maximize its effects. He had to develop these skills because he was in pressing circumstances in which they would benefit him. This contributes to the âmirrorâ theme between the two.
Fellow and Kalim have a notable similarity as well, and this is where I feel they can connect. They are both older brothers to a child or children who are magicless. Fellow only has one, and Kalim has manyâbut the number here isnât what is important. What is important is that Fellow and Kalim think the world of their siblings and want to support them. To that end, Fellow is willing to be cruel and step on others, and Kalim is all sunshine to keep their spirits up. Fellow has suffered through great poverty and insults and Kalim has survived so many attempts on his life, yet theyâve developed distinctly different approaches to the worlds that have embraced them. Kalimâs wealth could afford him protection and luxuries, so heâs able to live carefree with others tending to his needs. The same isnât true for Fellow, and so he came out far more spiteful and resentful.
Thinking about it, itâs ultimately Kalimâs words that convince Fellow to turn on his employer. (The other boys certainly wore Fellow down and planted the seeds of doubt, but itâs Kalim that I believe fully resonates with Fellow.) He can so happily talk about why he loves school, even though he doesnât do well at it (something I presume is also true of Fellow, since he is lacking in tons of magic). Itâs not said in a particularly articulate manner, but itâs so candid in its presentation. Kalim is relating to him based on similar skillset (or lack thereof) and sharing fond memories of his time at school, reviving the hopeful âlost childâ in Fellow. Kalim is probably the first wealthy person in a long time that was friendly, kind, and supportive to him. And here he is, reassuring Fellow his dreams are still possible, to not give up. Thatâs the final nail that allows Fellow to be âhonestâ with himself and his inner child. Itâs what leads to that slew of irresponsible actions at the end of the event (letting people free, blasting the amusement park, driving a sinking ship, etc.).
At the end of Stage in Playful Land, we see that Fellow never really let that childlike side of him fully die. (It seems to have been concealed under a desire for money and appeasing his boss.) He shares his dream of creating his own great school to give educational opportunities to non-mages and mages with low magical reserves like Gidel and himself, a school that teaches practical life lessons. He wants to promote his own ideals and to change the system he hates from the inside out. This was never communicated to us before most likely because Fellow had renounced those ideas in favor of blind hatred and a lack of faith in the world and those that dominate it.
Fellow also acknowledges that life may be even more difficult for him and Gidel going forward, as now they lack the money for even food and no longer have jobs. Furthermore, they need to worry about their ex-employers coming after them for what theyâve done. Even so, Fellow faces it all with a smile and reassures everyone that they can transfer or visit to play⊠âon this shining stage called lifeâ. He and Gidel are able to walk away with their whimsy preserved, and can still be that which theyâve always wanted to be: dreamers.
All of this is to say that Rollo was right all along about magic, he never missesâ
#twst#twisted wonderland#Fellow Honest#twisted wonderland analysis#twisted wonderland character analysis#twst analysis#twst character analysis#Ferro Honest#Rollo Flamme#Gidel#Gidell#disney twisted wonderland#notes from the writing raven#spoilers#Dire Crowley#Heartslabyul#Savanaclaw#Octavinelle#Scarabia#Pomefiore#Ignihyde#Diasomnia#Yuu#Ruggie Bucchi#Kalim Al-Asim#Jamil Viper#Pinocchio#Honest John#Riddle Rosehearts#Ruggi Bucchi
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Nothing Has Changed - 15
Summary: Returning home for peace, you're faced with your tormentor, Bucky Barnes, who is now involved in your family's business.
Character: Bucky Barnes
Warning: Angst, Tragedy.
Author Note: From the last poll, the series that you want to see updated is this one. I hope you enjoy this update.
Nothing Has Changed - Series Masterlist
Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi
Thank you to anyone who gave a like, reblog, and left a comment. It motivated me to write more. đđđ
âJust like your father. Dishonest to the core,â Lydia sneered, her eyes narrowing as she glared at Bucky.
He exhaled sharply, folding his arms. âHow could he ever marry you? And how did I end up with a mother like you?â
Without warning, Lydia snatched up the magazine and flung it at him. Bucky moved effortlessly, dodging the flying object with ease. âYou threw me in jail, and now you disrespect me? I canât believe this is my life,â she spat, her voice seething with resentment.
Bucky sighed, but there was no sympathy in his eyes. He walked over to the coffee table and sat down on the edge, directly facing her. His movements were calm, controlled, but Lydia could sense something had shifted in her sonâsomething dangerous.
He raised three fingers slowly, holding them in front of her. âThree times,â he said coldly, his voice steady and low. âIf you push me past three, Iâll send you back to jail. And from what I hear, the food there does wonders for your diet.â
Lydiaâs face twisted with rage, her jaw clenched so tight that her teeth ground together. She stood abruptly, practically trembling with fury, but she said nothing. Instead, she shot him a glare, turned on her heel, and stormed out of the room, her footsteps echoing loudly as she left.
Bucky watched her go, his jaw tense, his hands tightening into fists. The room was quiet again, but inside, his thoughts were turbulent. How did it come to this? How did everything get so twisted?
For years, he had been blindâblind to the lies, the manipulation, the way his mother had used him as a pawn in her schemes. He had fought to protect her, fought for a family that had never truly existed. Now, he saw her clearly, and the bitter truth burned like acid in his veins.
đ„đ„đ„đ„đ„
The situation in your house wasnât much better. Despite Tomâs insistence that he was fine, you could still see the tension in his eyes, the way his hands fidgeted, unable to relax. His panic lingered beneath the surface, though he kept trying to mask it with forced smiles and shallow breaths.
Then your phone rang. The screen lit up with a nameâAlan, Harlanâs oncologist. You took a steadying breath before answering.
"Hello, Iâm sorry I just saw your text," Alan's voice crackled through.
âItâs alright, I know youâre busy,â you replied, trying to keep your voice calm even though your mind was racing.
âThatâs true, I barely get enough sleep. Iâm really sorry about your father,â Alan offered.
âThank you,â you murmured. âDid you see the photo I sent?â
âI did. From the photo alone, I canât tell exactly whatâs in the pill. But one thing did catch my attention,â Alan said, his tone shifting slightly.
Your grip on the phone tightened. âThe doctorâs name?â
âYes,â Alan confirmed. âTony Stark. Iâm really surprised heâs practicing again, considering everything.â
Your heart began to pound, a sudden unease creeping in. âWhat did Tony do?â
Alan sighed on the other end. âHeâs been involved in some serious controversies. He offered treatments to patients who didnât need themâovercharging, committing insurance fraud, manipulating patients for financial gain.â
Tony Stark? You felt a chill run down your spine. You glanced toward your fatherâs bedroom, your thoughts spiraling. Could Tom have been misdiagnosed?
âAlan, what if my fatherâs been misdiagnosed?â you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
âIf I were you, Iâd get a second opinion immediately,â Alan advised, his tone firm. âCome to my clinic anytime. Iâll personally check on your father, and bring his medication with you.â
You exhaled in relief, trying to steady your shaking hands. âThank you, Alan. I really appreciate it.â
He chuckled lightly. âItâs my pleasure. After all, you and Harlan helped grow my portfolio quite a bit.â
You forced a smile, though it didnât reach your eyes. âThanks again. Would tomorrow work?â
âOf course. Anytime,â Alan replied before you both wrapped up the call.
Quietly, you moved toward your fatherâs bedroom door. You eased it open just a crack, peeking inside. There was Tom, frail and fragile, a shadow of the man you once knew. Is this really cancer, or has he been subjected to unnecessary treatment? The question hung heavy in your mind, twisting your stomach.
The next morning, you stood by the car, loading a suitcase into the trunk. The air was tense, and Tom, leaning against the doorframe of the house, still looked uncertain. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, clearly hesitant.
âDaughter,â he started, his voice wavering. âOur doctor is good. He has so many certificates and awardsâŠâ
You gently led him toward the passenger seat, your hand firm but comforting on his shoulder. âHaving certificates and awards doesnât mean the diagnosis and treatment are 100% right, Dad. If that were all it took to be a doctor, everyone would be cured,â you said softly but firmly.
Tom sighed, unable to argue. He nodded and got into the car, his hands fumbling with the seatbelt. It dawned on him then that this was the first time heâd ever been in your car, the first road trip heâd ever taken with you.
After making sure everything was packed and ready, you moved toward the driverâs seat. Just as you reached for the door handle, a familiar sound caught your attentionâthe low hum of a car engine. You turned to see Buckyâs car pulling up to the driveway. He parked hastily and stepped out quickly, his face a mixture of curiosity and concern.
âWhere are you going?â he asked, his gaze flickering between you and your father.
You didnât meet his eyes, not wanting to reveal the real reason. âJust a road trip,â you said with a casual shrug. âI realized I never had that moment with my father.â
Bucky studied you for a moment, his expression unreadable. But then he nodded. âAlright. Safe trip, guys,â he said, his voice softening. âIâll take care of the house while youâre gone.â
âThank you,â you responded, offering him a small, appreciative smile before slipping into the driverâs seat.
As you drove away, you glanced in the rearview mirror. Bucky stood there, watching your car disappear down the road, his figure growing smaller in the distance. There was something in his eyesâsomething he wasnât saying. You couldnât quite place it, but it lingered in your thoughts as you drove farther from the house, from him.
đ„đ„đ„đ„đ„
You and Tom entered the clinic, immediately struck by how different it was from the small-town hospital you were used to. The walls were pristine, the furniture modern and sleek, and the air felt fresher, almost too clean. Tom's eyes darted around, taking it all in.
âThis place looks expensive,â he muttered under his breath, clearly uneasy.
Without looking up from the magazine you were idly flipping through, you gave a small smile. âIt is. This doctor has treated presidents, actresses, athletes. Heâs the best weâve got,â you said casually, letting that sink in.
Tomâs eyes widened a bit at the thought. He glanced at you, as if seeing you in a new light. You had really gotten far since leaving that small townâmuch further than heâd realized.
Moments later, a nurse walked into the waiting area with a clipboard in hand. "Tom L/N?" she called, scanning the room.
Tom stiffened, his grip tightening on the arm of his chair. He shot you a quick, uncertain glance, and you gave him a reassuring nod. Slowly, he stood, and the two of you followed the nurse down the hallway.
When you stepped into the examination room, a tall man with kind, tired eyes and graying hair stood to greet you both. His demeanor was professional but friendly.
âTom, Y/N, good to meet you,â Alan said warmly, offering a handshake to both of you. âIâve heard a bit about your situation.â
Tom shook his hand, though his movements were stiff. âLikewise,â Tom muttered, still unsure of the whole process.
Alan motioned for Tom to sit on the examination table. "Let's take a look," he said, adjusting his stethoscope and carefully examining Tom. His hands were gentle but thorough as he checked Tom's vitals. âYouâre quite underweight,â Alan noted with a concerned frown, pulling back to look at Tom. âWe need to work on building your strength up. Itâs critical.â
Tom forced a weak smile, clearly uncomfortable with the attention. He shifted in his seat, his eyes darting away as he spoke. âYeah, well⊠havenât had much of an appetite lately.â He hadnât expected this doctor to be concerned about his weight; Alan was different from Tony.
Alan paused, his eyes narrowing slightly as he took in Tom's condition. He placed a hand on Tomâs shoulder, his tone growing serious. âWeâre going to do some testsâa scan, maybe a biopsy, to see whatâs really going on. Youâll need to stay here for a while so we can monitor you.â
Tom looked uneasy, shifting on the examination table. He shrugged, then pointed toward you. âSheâs in charge of all that. I trust her judgment.â
You smiled back at him, though your mind was racing. âWhatever you think is best, Doctor. We just want to get to the bottom of this.â
Alan nodded approvingly. âGood. Iâll have the nurse set everything up. In the meantime, weâll make sure Tom gets the nutrition he needs.â
As the nurse came to escort Tom to the next room, you stayed behind with Alan. The atmosphere between you shifted immediately, the conversation taking on a more serious tone. You reached into your bag and handed Alan the collection of medication bottles your father had been taking.
Alanâs brows furrowed as he sifted through them, clearly surprised. "All of these?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
âYeah,â you replied, your voice low, a tightness in your chest. Youâd had the same reaction the first time you saw the sheer number of pills.
Alan shook his head in disbelief, turning a bottle over in his hands. âThis is way too much for anyone to be on,â he muttered. âIâll send these to the lab for analysis. We need to know exactly what heâs been taking.â
You swallowed hard, nodding. "I donât trust his diagnosis anymore, Doctor. What if⊠what if heâs been misdiagnosed?"
Alan looked at you seriously, setting the bottles down. âItâs possible. With the medications heâs been prescribed, there are a lot of red flags. Especially with what you mentioned about Dr. Stark.â
Your pulse quickened at the mention of that name. "If there's any chance my fatherâs been given something unnecessary⊠or worse, something harmful, I need to know."
âWeâll find out soon,â Alan reassured you, his voice steady. âBut in the meantime, weâre going to focus on getting Tom back to a healthy place. Heâs too frail right now, and we need to get him stabilized.â
You nodded, feeling a knot of anxiety loosening slightly. "So, what's the next step?"
"Tom will need to stay here for observation. Weâll run a few more tests and adjust his diet to get him stronger. You can visit him anytime, but donât forget to take care of yourself too," Alan said, giving you a kind but pointed look.
đ„đ„đ„đ„
Later, after Tom was settled in and you knew he was in good hands, you found yourself wandering through the bustling city streets. The towering buildings and fast pace of city life made you feel small, but your mind kept drifting back to the clinic.
It's only been a few months, but already the city felt different. New cafés and restaurants had popped up, their signs gleaming with fresh paint. The pace of change was unsettling, and as you walked, memories of a quieter, more familiar place tugged at your thoughts.
Suddenly, you remembered the art gallery that had hired Steve. It wasnât far from where you were, so you hailed a taxi, the ride feeling both quick and too slow as your mind wandered. Steve had always found solace in his artâmaybe seeing his work would bring you some peace too.
When you arrived at the gallery, the soft hum of conversation and the faint smell of paint welcomed you. You moved through the exhibits, eyes catching on familiar brushstrokes. There it wasâSteveâs painting. You paused, staring at the delicate lines, the vibrant colors. It felt like him, a piece of him still lingering on the canvas.
As you stood there, lost in thought, the gallery owner approached with a friendly smile. "Enjoying the collection?" they asked, their tone polite but cautious.
You nodded, still admiring Steve's work. "Yes, especially this one. Steve Rogersâhe's incredible."
The gallery ownerâs expression faltered, their eyes darkening with something you couldnât quite place. "Iâm sorry to be the one to tell you this⊠Steve was in an accident."
The world seemed to slow, your breath catching in your throat. âWhat?â you managed, voice barely above a whisper.
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Look, Vergil is my favorite character of all time, but to excuse his actions just cuz you like him is genuinely dumb.
The creator of the netflix dmc show (Adi Shankar) is on twitter making posts about âVergil was rightâ âhes too powerful to care about child supportâ or my least favorite thing heâs said:
THE FUCK YOU MEAN PROTECTING THE UNIVERSE FROM COLLAPSE??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE WAS THINKING ABOUT âreuniting the Sparda bloodlineâ HE WAS NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT AT ALL!!!!
Vergils flaws are what make him an interesting character, his main flaw is that heâs so motivated by fear that he canât think about anything else. He canât move past what happened to him when he was eight.
Vergil caused mass deaths of innocent life in both 3 and 5. He was too focused on gaining power to consider or care the amount of people that would die in the crossfire. Itâs not like he went out of his way to kill people he just didnât care if people did die.
The entire reason Dante wants to fight Vergil at the end of 3 and in 5 is because he wants to stop him. âMy soul⊠is telling me to stop you!â Yâall glance over this quote from 3 too much. âSoulâ in the context of dmc3 clearly refers to the characters goals and morals, clearly. So Dante saying his soul wants to stop Vergil is clearly because of his character development in 3 and learning to care about humanity, he doesnât want Vergil doing these things that cause human death.
Vergil doesnât just cause the deaths of a few people here and there you do realize that right??? When he raised the temen ni gru in 3 and when he grew the qliphoth tree, A LOT OF PEOPLE DIED. Way more in 5 than in 3, in 5 we get to actually see civilians get murdered too.
Vergil is NOT a good person. He does NOT care about protecting innocent people he doesnât know. Vergil only thinks about his own fears and trauma since he is so blinded by it. Heâs never been a good person. Also, just because someone is super powerful doesnât mean their better than others, thatâs the most dudebro power-scaling bullshit Iâve heard in my life.
Also a reminder that Vergil had no idea that Nero existed, but considering heâs âabandonmentâ as a child and being forced to learn to protect himself and having the quote of âWithout power you cannot protect anything.â I think itâs safe to assume that of he did know Nero existed he would both protect him and teach him to protect himself, he wouldnât willingly abandon his own child unless he thought Nero would be better off that way. I donât know how anyone could see that differently.
#dmc#devil may cry#vergil#dmc vergil#dante dmc#dmc dante#netflix dmc#devil may cry vergil#dante devil may cry#vergil devil may cry#devil may cry dante#dmc nero#nero dmc#nero devil may cry#devil may cry nero#character analysis#vampy rambles yet again no one is surprised
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You don't need to worry about the ATSV fandom dying. As someone whose been in the Marvel fandom over ten years - I can assure you this is natural.
The ATSV Fandom Isn't Dead: A brief look into the science of fandoms.
[me standing beside Hobie beaming my thoughts of love and adoration into his head like I'm professor x]
A lot of people are afraid of the ATSV dying - and I don't blame them.
In the era of shows releasing all in one day, or movies coming to streaming almost immediately - it's not hard to say we're in an era were content is consumed at ridiculously rapid rates.
I mean, this time last year Wednesday was breaking records on Netflix. Where's the hype now?
I know you see it too, there's less posts everyday in the Hobie tag, less screenshot breakdowns, etc etc etc.
But I'm here to tell you - The ATSV fandom is doing just fine. Better than fine. All of this is meant to happen.
Let me put it into perspective.
ATSV released on June 2nd - it's November.
ATSV released a little over six months ago.
For reference: The Avengers (2012) was released on May 4th.
The Avengers DVD wasn't available for purchase until SEPTEMBER 25th - almost SIX months later.
The time that the Hobie fandom has formed and existed - is the same amount of time people had to wait just to see The Avengers again.
Large periods of time where tags only get three posts a day TOPS was nothing to fear. xReaders and fanfics held the fandom over until the next trailer, the next sneak peek or leak.
Prior to the release of streaming, only a little more than ten years ago - it was NATURAL for a fandom to wait six months before even seeing the movie for a second time.
And mind you - streaming didn't exist. If you wanted to see The Avengers again, you had to go out and BUY it. $26.99.
If you wanted to order it online - you'd have to get it shipped to you. Before Disney plus, we watched on BlueRay Discs.
And the fandom was fine and healthy.
If a fandom that doesn't even have a DVD release can keep up content for six months, I think we'll be fine.
But I'll admit - there's still the question:
If the ATSV fandom is 'doing fine' then where is everyone going? Why are the tags getting slower?
The answer is simple:
FANDOM BIOLOGY
I LOVE social sciences and the systems people create and how they work - even unintentionally.
And I have a theory - one about the natural evolution and regeneration of fandom. Hear me out -
When it comes to ATSV:
We are leaving the Analysation Phase, the phase in which content creation is centered around deciphering and breaking down the most recent installment in the fandom.
During this phase usually see art of newer characters, new ships, meta breakdowns, easter egg point-outs.
We were in that phase.
Once the Analysation Phase dies down, usually main content creators may remain. The intermediate or liminal period.
The intermediate is usually when you'll see more x-reader art pop-up, the levels of fanart evening out as artists return to their favorite characters - usually incorporating any new ones they gained from the last installment.
Shitposts usually also become popular around this time, as the shock and weight of the story wear off, and we're more able to joke about the storyline a lot more light-heartedly.
That's why the intermediate point is often see as the passion 'dying out'.
When in fact, it is the fandom getting comfortable. Resting for the next phase.
And after a few months, the next phase comes:
The Speculation Phase:
The Speculation Phase cannot come until the Analysation Phase is over.
During the Analysation Phase the fandom begins to breakdown and digest the writers intentions. They integrate the new character into the story, and the fandom.
As the audience and fandom talk amongst each other, we get more solid ideas of who the characters are, what their motivations might be, and most important of all-
What they might do.
In the Speculation Phase we turn from the last installment - and start looking towards the future.
Let's take Hobie for example.
Looking at the timeline of the Hobie fandom, we can see a progression.
Originally taken as a punk-rockstar and little more, throughout the months the fandom began posting things about punk culture, the 70's, Hobie's motivation in the comics, and how that all correlates to him.
As the fandom analyzed, the collective zeitgeist and understanding of Hobie grew into something a lot more sound, and telling.
We looked at the parellels he provides in the story, and what kind of person he is.
And because if that we have seen a marked improvement in people's contextual understanding of Hobie - as a punk and a hero.
And now that we can understand him - we can predict him.
The same goes for Miguel - over the months, a lot of us have began to question if we know him as well as we think we do , if we really know the kinda person he is -
And if we really know what he's doing to do.
That's where the Speculation Phase comes in.
The Speculation Phase in fandom is when we see some of the most passion - and instead of tapering off overtime, it builds. More and more until the next release.
The Speculation Phase is when the fandom takes the analysis' and from there, they begin to theorize.
Now that we understand, we can begin to predict.
And this is arguably one of the most interesting parts in a fandoms natural ecosystem.
During the Speculation Phase, we can see a number of diverse opinions appear.
As more and more creators begin to gather their understanding, tips from the writers, new released news, and past comic book arcs, we start to see dozens of triguing paths the writers can take us on.
As more news releases, the more hype people get. I mean - imagine how you'll feel when they release the first new poster of Hobie, or Miles? Or when we get to see Miles.G in the trailer?
And with each new poster, or trailer, we're given clues. The theorizes develop more. And the plot thickens.
It's all natural.
So I can understand the fear. Only getting one or two new posts when you visit the Hobie tag can be a bummer. But it's natural and it's GOOD.
Y'all, we need to conserve our energy. We are in the liminal phase. And they never last long.
With the news of the voice actors back in the studio, and a cliff-hanger like we have - I can assure you, it's only a matter of time before we begin to see the theories, the trailer breakdowns, the people guessing what Miguel might do, or exactly how much tech Hobie is hiding.
And when that time comes we need to be READY. I can already feel it on the horizon.
I really wonder what they'll do with all that left over Hobie concept art.
Plus with explosion of Hobie approval, I wonder if they'll add him in even more. Hobie fan-service anyone?
Hmmm...
But chill y'all, we're on the right track -
-------------------------------------
If you read this far, as always THANK YOU SO MUCH!! And as a token of my appreciation, I hand you this Hobie. Hold him gently please
Bye đ
#no proofread ever ever EVER#spiderman#atsv#spider man#marvel#across the spiderverse#hobie brown#spider punk#spiderpunk#Miles morales#miguel o'hara#miguel ohara#peter parker
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How to get into the mind of a character? Honestly this can be for your OWN character or a fictional character. I'm wanting to write for characters- headcanons and fanfictions- and I'm so afraid I'll write them so uncanny to how they actually are.
How to get into the mind of a character?
To get into the mind of a character, you have to understand that character, believe in that character, and even "live" the character's life. But we all know each individual is different, and we cannot live different lives. A normal person who grew up in peacetime cannot fully understand the hardships of a warrior, and a doctor cannot know the thoughts of a mafia boss.
So, how can writers create believable characters? How can they possibly offer a believable soldier, cop, detective, alcoholic, or any given character type if they themselves haven't lived as them? How can they possibly offer a believable character in a situation that they've never been in?
Here are some tips you can use to get into the minds of characters:
Tip 1: Observe real-life people
To create well-rounded characters, observe real people around you. Pay attention to their behaviors, mannerisms, speech patterns, and thought processes. Take note of how they express emotions, handle conflicts, and make decisions. Drawing from real-life observations can add depth and authenticity to your characters. You can also search for novels and movies with different themes, study how characters with different pasts, biographies, occupations, and personalities act, behave, gesture, and speak. The best way is to prepare a small notebook and a pen so you can carry it with you wherever you go.
Tip 2: Create a detailed character profile
Develop a detailed character profile that includes information such as their age, background, beliefs, values, goals, and fears. Consider their relationships with other characters and how these dynamics influence their thoughts and actions. Delve into the character's past and explore significant events that have shaped them. Consider their upbringing, traumas, successes, and failures. These can provide you with a roadmap for understanding the character's mindset.
Tip 3: Use internal monologues and journaling
Imagine the character's internal thoughts and dialogues with themselves. Consider what they might be thinking in different situations, their hopes, dreams, and fears. (And why do they dream of that? Why are they afraid of that thing? What in the past made them afraid? Always asking questions.) Writing internal monologues or journal entries from the character's perspective can help you delve into their mindset and gain insight into their unique voice.
Tip 4: Consider their external influences
Characters are influenced by their environment, culture, and society. Reflect on how external factors such as family, friends, societal norms, or even the story's setting impact their thoughts and behaviors. This will help you portray their worldview more accurately.
Tip 5: Study the source material
If you're writing about an existing character from a book, TV show, or movie, immerse yourself in the source material. Pay attention to their dialogue, actions, and interactions with other characters. Take note of their personality traits, motivations, and backstory. This will help you develop a strong foundation for understanding the character. For example, recently I suddenly became interested in Nightwing (do you know him? Nightwing from the Batman series!), and I wanted to write a few short stories about him. So I found all the comics and movies that featured Nightwing and watched them one by one. I don't take notes because I have a pretty good memory (especially for characters I like), but I still recommend taking notes on special things to note.
Tip 6: Practice free writing
Set aside time for free writing exercises where you write from the character's point of view. Allow your thoughts to flow without judgment or editing. Just write, write, and write. You can reread and make corrections after you're done. Remember to gather your posts in one place; otherwise, you'll lose or forget them (like me!).
Getting into the mind of a character is an ongoing process that requires continuous exploration and refinement. The more you invest in understanding your character's thoughts, feelings, and motivations, the more compelling and authentic your writing will become.
Additionally, you can read my articles on how to write an effective character here:
How to create a superbad villain
How to make a villain's appearance memorable
Basic questions for your character
Describing a villain's appearance in a natural way
Create an effectively past for character
Common character motivations
How to create a good main character
How to avoid the instance where a secondary character stands out more/ is more lovable?
Character flaws
Writing a good Anti-Hero
Character positive traits
How to write an elderly main character?
Protagonist who is a ballerina
How to write a believeable egotistical character
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can you please do jake webber best friends to lovers. like jakes been y/ns best friend since they were kids and neither of them knew they liked eachother until they went to a party and all that. and then add some cute lil smut in there as well but theyre both virgins. â€ïžthank uuu:)
omg im so sorry for the delayed response, i was not motivated to write for a while! i hope you enjoy :)
best friend.
pairing: jake webber x reader
summary: same as request except i didn't include the smut <3
cw: fluff, language, alcohol, some spice/suggestive ending but nothing too crazy
word count: 2.5k + edited
---
Since your childhood, Jake has been your best friend. Youâd grown up together in Kansas, and being the only two âalternativeâ people at your middle and high schools, you stuck together. Heâd always been the person you leaned on, and you were the same for him. Time didnât seem to exist when you two were together, you could talk for hours and never get bored. Both your parents had expected you to end up dating eventually, and were shocked that after over ten years, it still hadnât happened. But everyone always said you were soulmates, in one way or another.Â
When Jake got famous, you were so proud of him. It had been his dream for years, heâd been posting little vlogs for a while, and sometimes you were even featured in them. But meeting Sam & Colby had caused his career to skyrocket. Then he moved to LA to keep pursuing his dream, and of course you supported him. You wanted all the success in the world for him, so you said goodbye.Â
You made a point to visit him as often as possible, which he loved. You loved seeing him, and sometimes being featured in his videos. Being a side character in his on-screen persona had garnered you your own little fandom, and people loved seeing âwith y/n!â attached to his video titles. Being famous was never your âthingâ, though; it was Jakeâs, and you respected him for it. You were happy with your small subset of fans, and couldnât imagine constantly being scrutinized by millions of people. Jakeâs rising stardom had no effect on your friendship, and now, after many long years of hard work, he is finally gaining the recognition you had hoped heâd receive since you were kids.Â
With his newfound rise in fame came more money, and in turn, a bigger house in LA. Some time after his break up with Tara, Jake had asked you to move in with him and Johnnie. You worked from home, and had been visiting him so much that you practically lived with him part-time already, so of course youâd said yes.Â
What he didnât know was that for the last three years, you have been completely and hopelessly in love with him. You didnât know why or when it started, really. You just knew that one day, seeing him kiss Tara made you want to rip your heart out. Obviously you never told him, you could never do that to him. He was in love with Tara, and you loved and respected him too much to ever come between them. You had also become friends with Tara, and would never want to hurt her. So you yearned in silence, fully believing you were going to go to take your feelings to the grave. Their breakup was unexpected, and despite being irrevocably in love with Jake, you werenât happy about it. Seeing your best friend in pain was the worst feeling ever, so you made sure to help him through all the ups and downs until he and Tara were comfortably friends again.Â
Moving in with him may not have been the best thing for your romantic feelings, but your friendship is stronger than ever. You are constantly together, and knowing how affectionate the two of you are, youâre always touching, too. Whether it be a finger linked through the belt loop, hands intertwined, leaning on each otherâs shoulder, hugging from behind, or cuddled up on the couch, you always have to have your hands on each other. Jake wasnât very drawn to physical touch with many people, only his closest friends, which made you feel special. You loved that the only people he acted like this with were you and Johnnie. And even though he was touchy with Johnnie, it was nowhere near the level of touchiness he had with you. Some people say your relationship is weird, too close, or codependent, but you guys just laugh it off. You didnât care if people understood, you loved each other, full stop.Â
For the past three years you have wanted more, desperately so. But you knew that Jake didnât feel the same, so learning how to separate your romantic and platonic feelings for him was a challenge. You would never want to do anything to potentially ruin your perfect friendship, though, so you learned quickly.
This would all change tonight.Â
You and Jake had been curled up in his bed together under a mountain of fluffy blankets, watching one of your favorite movies, when he turned to you. Â
âTara is having a party tonight at her place, if you wanna be my plus one,â He smiled, always excited to ask you to be his plus one to events.
One of the many life changes that occurred when you moved to LA was that you were now roped into âeventsâ way more often than you were used to. Whether it be casual parties, brand deal socials, or filming videos, you were involved in more social interaction than youâd ever been exposed to back home. You were much more introverted than Jake, and the changes were sudden, but you were slowly getting the hang of it. Plus, Jake loved when you were involved, he wanted you to be there. You loved making him happy, so you were hardly one to say no. That being said, the once small group of fans youâd garnered from being featured in Jakeâs early videos was not-so-little anymore, and you were gaining quite the following. This had never been the life youâd wanted per se, but it was growing on you.Â
You turned your head towards Jakeâs and smiled back at him, âOf course Iâll go with you.âÂ
He blushed, âYayyyy, I love my best friend!â He squealed in a silly high pitched voice, and you giggled. You wrapped your arm around his waist and buried your head against his neck, spooning him for the rest of the movie.Â
After it ended you let go of his waist to go get ready for the party, which elicited a whine from Jake, âAww, I was comfy,â He pouted and let out a huff.Â
You laugh, âWe can cuddle later! I have to go get sexy for tonight,â You joke.Â
âYou always look sexy, weâre wasting valuable bestie nap time,â he gave you puppy eyes, and you blushed. It was the first time heâd ever called you sexy.Â
âDonât look at me like that,â You giggle, and look away, trying to hide your pink cheeks and hot ears.Â
âLook at you like what?â He asks innocently, continuing to give you his biggest, prettiest puppy eyes.Â
âShut up,â You laugh, swatting your hand at him as you walk towards the door.Â
âHate you!â He shouts after you as you walk across the hall toward your bedroom.Â
âHate you more!â You yell back.Â
â
Two hours later, youâre finally completely ready for the party. You took an âeverything showerâ, applied a full face of your favorite glam makeup, painted your nails, and put on a brand new lacy, skin-tight, black dress. You emerge from your bedroom and walk back across the hall to Jakeâs room, knocking on the door.
He opens it and stares at you in awe. He could hardly stop his jaw from dropping as he got his first look at you, and you giggle with embarrassment.
âHi,â You say, cheeks blushing.
âHi,â He responds, still looking you up and down, unable to tear his eyes away from your body. âYou look incredible.â
You let out a modest scoff and look away, âStop it.âÂ
âI mean it, y/n! You are⊠stunning.â
He makes eye contact with you as he thoughtfully lands on the last word, stunning. You feel a wide grin spread across your face, the rosy hue in your cheeks definitely deepening even more, but for some reason, you werenât embarrassed anymore, only confident.Â
âThanks, Jakey. You donât look so bad yourself,â You say, finally eyeing him up in the same way heâd done to you. He was wearing low waisted baggy jeans and a cropped baby tee, showcasing the star tattoos traveling down his v-line. Your eyes lingered there for a second too long, and you couldnât stop yourself from imagining kissing each of those stars before wrapping your mouth around his cock.Â
He caught the glint in your eye and leaned against the door frame, smirking down at you, âLike what you see?â he teased, casually placing a hand in his pocket.
You feel yourself blushing again, but you stay strong, taking a step closer and smiling up at him, âMaybe I do.âÂ
He maintains eye contact with you for a few seconds, and before you know it youâre competing, seeing who will break the awkward sexual tension first.
He breaks, and his smug smirk falls into a grin as he playfully pushes your forehead away from him, âCâmon ya freak, letâs go to the party,â He laughs.Â
You walk the few blocks to Taraâs house, listening to Jake rant about one of his recent hyperfixations. You loved listening to him rant. He wasnât a big talker, and usually you were the one who did the majority of the ranting in your friendship, but sometimes Jake would allow himself to rant about something he loved. He only did it with people he was super comfortable with, and it wasnât too often, even then. But tonight, he must have been in an extra good mood, because he talked the entire walk. You smiled, and nodded, and asked him questions, which he loved, both because it signified to him that he wasnât boring you, and because it meant he got to keep talking about something he enjoyed. You loved seeing him like this, bubbly and excited and blabbing on and on about a show youâd never even heard of. When you finally arrived at Taraâs house, he turned to you and said, âWoah, I really just talked that entire time about Peaky Blinders, didnât I?â
âYup. But donât worry, I love hearing your voice,â You smile, and he grins down at you.
âI love hearing your voice too, y/n.â
You knock on Taraâs door, and she opens within seconds. âJake! Y/n! Welcome!! Itâs so good to see you guys, you both look amazing!â She pulls you both into quick hugs and you follow behind her into the packed house. She had cleared out some of the furniture for a makeshift dance floor, and people were definitely putting it to use. She led you to the kitchen where you spotted bottles of liquor littered throughout. âHelp yourself!â She shouted over the loud Ice Spice song that was currently playing, and walked away to greet more guests.
You and Jake shared a look, already knowing this party was going to be overstimulating unless you got some alcohol in your systems ASAP. He poured you both a shot of whatever was closest and shouted âCheers!â before you both downed them.Â
It only took a few drinks for you both to start feeling warm and buzzed. You grab his hand and begin leading him to the dance floor, social anxiety be damned.Â
âY/n are we actually about to dance right now?â Jake asked from behind you, and when you turned to face him, you saw a big, stupid grin on his face.
âYes, Jake! I want to throw ass with my best friend, since when is that a crime?â You shout back dramatically, still tugging on his hand.Â
He suddenly yanks your hand, pulling your body closer to his. In one swift motion, heâs wrapped your arm around the back of his neck, while his hands grip your hips tightly, steadying your body in front of him. He leans into your neck, lips grazing your ear as he whispers, âYa know, I meant what I said earlier⊠you look beautiful.âÂ
You sigh at his words, leaning your head back to rest against his chest. You pull his neck closer, forcing his head down so you can whisper back, âI- I donât just want to be your best friend anymore.âÂ
âI know,â He says, âI think⊠I think a part of me has always known. It was always going to be you, I just couldnât see it yet. But I do now and⊠and I want you so bad-â You cut him off, closing whatever little space was left between your mouths, taking in all of him. You had imagined this situation millions of timesâ what it would feel like to envelope your lips in his. Were they soft? Warm? Was he messy or gentle? For years, you had fantasized about this moment, never thinking itâd actually happen. Yet here you are, finally. Kissing your best friend. And it was better than you could have ever dreamed, like a drug. As soon as you got a taste, you craved more. You swiveled your body so you were facing him, and his hands moved up and down your back and further down to squeeze your ass. You lifted yourself onto your tiptoes, bringing yourself even closer to him, hands tangling through his hair, as if in a desperate attempt to swallow him whole. One word rang out in your head over and over: more.Â
You broke away eventually, gasping for breath, but he didnât stop. Instead he moved down your jawline, sloppily kissing anywhere his lips landed, letting out soft grunts as he made his way down your neck, stopping to suck on a particularly sensitive area where he noticed your breath catch.Â
âWait,â You said, and he immediately stopped, placing a hand on your cheek.
âWhat is it? Iâm sorry, did I do something wrong?â He asks, genuine concern painting his face.
âNo, no! I just⊠I wanna make sure you mean it. Youâre not just saying this because weâre tipsy, right? Because itâs real for me. Youâre my best friend, Jake, and you always will be. But⊠I wanna be more. I wanna be yours.â
His face softens and he leans in to kiss you gently now, his hand still cradling your cheek. âY/n, I promise, you are mine. And Iâm yours. Iâve been yours since the day you moved in. I might be tipsy, but Iâm still aware of whatâs going on. I swear, I want this. I want you. Only you.âÂ
Tears well in your eyes and he wipes them away, âDonât cry, angel.âÂ
âI just really love you.â You say, and the biggest smile youâve ever seen spreads across his face.
âI really love you, too. God, Iâve wanted to say that for so long,â He lets out a relieved sigh.Â
You lower your voice to a whisper against his ear, âI really think we should get out of here. You look so fucking sexy.â Youâre the one kissing down his neck now, and he breathes out âFuck.âÂ
You lead him through the crowd again, this time toward the front door. An Irish goodbye would have to doâ being socially unacceptable would be worth it to be naked in his arms.Â
---
this piece marks the end of my writing block! i have so many good johnnie requests from you guys that i'm excited to get working on :) as always likes and reblogs are appreciated!
#sh4wty18#original one shot#original fiction#one shot#fluff#fluffy one shot#jake webber#jake webber x reader#jake webber x you#jake webber fluff#jake webber fanfiction#jake webber fanfic
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I'm curious, at the point where you're at in FMA 03, have you met Dante yet? I'm curious at what you think of her.
late but now that i'm done: i adore her. like, she could have benefited from a few more episodes' worth of development (like envy, really, and many other aspects of the ending that were clearly VERY rushed for time), but i fucking *love* what we got of her. i find her a thousand times more compelling and thematically appropriate an antagonist than father is.
the first thing i enjoy about her is that she is, fundamentally, a human. she claims to have surpassed humanity and looks down on them, but she is a real human person who just happens to have used alchemy to extend her own life, and the process costs not only her but everyone! she isn't a supernatural being, and in fact her bodies are all extremely fragile even outside of the whole rotting thing. what she is is really the ultimate alchemist: someone who really does see the world and everyone within it as material to be analysed, decomposed, and recomposed to her will. someone who dehumanizes others so profoundly they are just tools to her, things to be manipulated or destroyed or remodeled at her will, and who's fundamentally baffled when they react as people. but outside of being that good an alchemist, she's also just....... human. she's scared, and petty, and honestly a bit cringe and old-fashioned. she's cunning and used to manipulating people and movements, but she's good in that human, predatory and slimy way rather than as an inhuman force of evil. her motives too are human! she wants to keep living. she claims to be above it all but she is really just another human, among many MANY in the show, who struggle with the concept of dying and letting go of an idealized life. she isn't special among them! she isn't particularly unique in her motivation! she's one of a dozen characters of fma 03 who cannot cope with death as a part of life.
the second thing i enjoy is, how despite her manipulations and how she is, in essence, responsible for everything the brothers have been through (they wear her mark without knowing it for most of their life for fuck's sake!) she is not actually the only one with agency in the world, and while she pushes amestrian towards its genocidal policies the show makes it very very clear clear that she is not solely responsible for them, and that excising her does not suddenly make everything better or end racism or all that fucking nonsense lmfao, it's so clear that really, dante has been taking advantage of existing prejudices and amestris's own imperialist ambitions for her own gain. amestrians support the genocides and wars! it brings them resources, and national pride, and racial superiority! it strengthens the might of state alchemists! again what dante is is first and foremost a manipulator. the homonculi are all lost, and hollow, and desperate OR they are her own creations from past lovers and children she views as her property and lies to. they are inhuman and yet genuinely intimidated by her. she knows what buttons to press. dante doesn't implant or create things in others, she takes advantage of what is there and remolds it to her desire! equivalent exchange if you will :)))
third reason is: again. she is slimy. she is cringe. she is predatory but in a weird flailing way. she is so obviously a predator, and a very much older woman who knows nothing about the times and thinks she's still hot shit. she is sloppy at times in her handiwork. she is deeply, unbelievably petty. she is so awful it becomes campy. she throws a baby in the air for fun and experiments. she is so mad hoheinheim got himself a wife she uses the wife's homonculus for fun. she is EXCEEDINGLY creepy about rose and sexualizes and exoticizes her openly in a way that feels.... genuinely real and pathetic and racist (she is racist tbc, the narrative is v clear about it and isn't doing this for fun points). i think there need to be more evil girlfailure villains who aren't like just, hot sex machines but are this kind of realistic kind of everyday awful and evil.
fourth reason is that she's an excellent foil to a number of characters, starting with hoheinheim obviously and his own fucked up actions, and his own predatory nature towards younger women (and btw just like.... the little we get of their relationship and interactions has my head spinning, it's so good and juicy) and refusal to accept death until he does. but also edward--she isn't just trying to convince him bc he's hoheinheim's son and she's a fucking creepy, but bc again and again the narrative has shown that ed IS teethering on the edge of morality with his alchemy, that his curiosity and drive to prove he CAN do these incredible things deemed impossible, that he IS no ordinary alchemist and his love for al can lead him to dark places. he isn't dante, not yet! he turns away from her values! but had dante played her cards a bit better, maybe he could have been. and of course there's the izumi parallel too: izumi, dante's student who flees her master because there's something wrong with that woman; who grieves her son and tries to bring him back and is stuck with the homonculus that resulted--where dante tried to resurrect her son and used him as a tool. and all those who committed human transmutation in the name of bringing back lost loved ones, when pride and greed are said to be based on dante's former lovers she killed and controlled. did she ever really love them? was her first transmutation genuinely out of grief? when did she lose sight of the common humanity at the core of these other people? was it from the start, or did she lose it gradually as her soul rotted with her bodies?
i think that's also one of the most fascinating aspects of dante. she is, for all intents and purposes, a living corpse who refuses to die and move on. a zombie. in a show full of ghosts and people who are unable to die or move on, in a show about how idealizing the past and trying to freeze it or recreate a pitch perfect version of it stops you from seeing the love and possibilities right in front of your nose. and nowhere is that seen more than in dante: whose bodies rot faster and faster and yet she keeps believing she can fix it. she can use a thousand more lives to let her use a body for a few more months. why should she have to die and move on? why can't the world just stop for her? it should. everyone in fma 2003 keeps trying to repeat the past, to start up the same old cycles, to drag the long dead and buried kicking and screaming into the present. dante literally lives in a city so old and forgotten people have forgotten its existence and that it is the foundation on which central is built. she drags the bones of the homonculi's former selves to threaten them. she tries to immediately start up a relationship with her ex's son, believing she can remodel him to her liking. she takes and she takes and she takes. she has forgotten that one is all and all is one and that all struggles are connected, that the old must give to the new, that you cannot make the same mistakes over and over and get what you want whenever. she is rotten inside and out. i think it's fitting then, that she isn't killed by ed or al's hand, but that she simply storms off mad when things don't go according to plan (because she is just that petty) and that she is killed by the rebound of her own actions of untethering gluttony. she has so thoroughly dehumanized others, literally and figuratively, that she gets swallowed by the results of it, and dies the same pathetic death that the priest did in episode 2, and marcoh did, and many others that she sent gluttony to clean up.
like gd i do wish we could have gotten another full ten eps of her. but i'm also fine with her as she is. she sucks so bad. she's so delicious to dive into, the layers of her fucked up ness.
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So. Here's my thing.
In OG, Cloud couldn't have killed Sephiroth without Rufus. Rufus's call to move the cannon from Junon to Midgar -- as well as his relentless fight against Sephiroth and the Weapons -- resulted in the destruction of the barrier around the North Crater.
And in Advent Children, even though there is no more Shinra, Rufus still has the Turks recover Jenova's head -- which Rufus himself keeps safe on his person, until he personally destroys it.
In the novella The Kids Are Alright (written by Kazushige Nojima, who's writing the remake series), Rufus says:
"My father [...] invested most of [the immense fortune and power he'd gained] into new fields â on a massive scale, and without ethics. And one of those was the research of, and experimentation on, Jenova. Eventually this gave birth to a monster named Sephiroth. [...] My father took his leave from this stage early on, abandoning those of us left behind to suffer the nightmares in his wake. I am not my father. I will bring it to an end, once and for all."
Rufus is a real threat to Sephiroth.
That's why, at the end of Remake, the Whispers make it a point to draw Rufus's attention to the highway so that he can see the bullshittery going on around Sephiroth so that he focuses on that instead of getting lost in the political sauce.
And so when Rufus says during the ending of Rebirth: "I'm onto you. This war's nothing but a ploy to distract me from Sephiroth." and Sephiroth cops to it, this is an acknowledgement of that threat.
So, like. Rufus's motivations are not unclear to me. He used the name Sarruf, funded the Wutai resistance in order to depose his father, and then, once he was in office, saw the existential threat that Sephiroth posed and shifted his attention to that -- partially because he feels a responsibility to as the president of the fucking world, and partially just as a "fuck you" to his dad.
So why not just kill him? Why distract him with a war when you could just fucking kill him?
It made sense why Kadaj never killed Rufus in AC -- he wanted Jenova's head, and Rufus was the only one who knew where it was, so Kadaj couldn't just kill him outright.
But that's not an issue here. So why doesn't Sephiroth just kill him?
This is where the whole "multiverse" meta aspect of the plot completely fucking breaks down, because like -- it's framed, during that ending scene, that Sephiroth is keeping Rufus alive because he believes that Rufus will actually lead him to the promised land, but like
Not only is that weird because, in OG, it's the other way around, and Rufus follows Sephiroth thinking that he'll lead him to the promised land -- but it's weird because Sephiroth's clearly been peeking at the OG script, and he follows Aeris through realities and tells her to accept her fate because he knows she has to die because that's what the OG script says, but like
In that case, wouldn't he also know that the promised land doesn't really exist and/or is either the North Crater or Midgar it's not really clear?
And how the fuck is a war with Wutai going to allow Rufus to stumble on the promised land? He'll be busy fighting a war.
And how the fuck is he going to fight that war in the first place?! HE'S THE HEAD OF THE ARMY OF BOTH SIDES
AND SEPHIROTH KNOWS THIS
Like, I don't understand Sephiroth's motivations here at all. They don't make any fucking sense when you actually sit down and think about them a little bit (as opposed to not at all).
Is he trolling? Is that it? Is Sephiroth just being a big old fucking troll? Doing it for the lulz? Got a nice taste of Rufus's despair when he got infected with Geostigma and was like "mmm delicious daddy issues I wanna go back in time and taste that again"???
It's very stupid. It's very dumb.
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Movie Amy Rose future AU
This post is kinda ironic knowing the rumors of Silver is the next character being introduced in the fourth movie or the end credits for the third movie. To save myself from going into another rant Iâm just gonna say I donât feel too great about the idea (especially with the possibility of them skipping Amy again or cramming way more characters into Amyâs debut movie than they did for Shadow).
Believe it or not, I drew this to cope with the possibility that they may cram a bunch of characters in the fourth before the stuff about the rumored silver spin-off came out.đ«
Anyway, this is how I would see an Amy Rose, Silver the Hedgehog, Blaze the Cat, and Metal Sonic movie.
Context
Amy and Silver are from a time organization that protects the timeline throughout the galaxy. Amy is gifted with the ability to see the future and summon her hammer (and other abilities). Silver is gifted with powerful psychic abilities unmatched by other fellow psychics within the organization. Together they were a powerful duo when assigned on missions. They were also friends with a tight-knit dynamic that strengthened their bond inside and outside of missions. This doesnât mean their team was without fault. Although they both have a similar optimistic outlook on things, they have different ways of fighting for the future they envision.
Though Silver is an optimist he is also naive, heâll take anything the organization gives him as the truth. If the organization tells him he needs to make a sacrifice for a brighter future heâll do it. Amy is the opposite, she looks to one's past, present, and future to find another solution rather than stick to the organization's rigid ones. She believes in fate and destiny but she will challenge it and look for a different perspective if it means a brighter future for the universe or just one person. This often causes conflict between Amy and the organization but things usually turn out ok despite Amyâs differing approach to assignments. Silver was fine with this, Amy's way always brought even better results than the organization offered and as long as the future was secured there was no harm in a different path.
That was until a very dangerous variant infiltrated the organization threatening the timeline. Fortunately, they were able to contain it and learn of his origins. The dangerous entity was Metal Sonic, a future variant, a roboticized Sonic the Hedgehog. Deeming the threat too dangerous to exist they order Silver and Amy to terminate Sonic the Hedgehog before he becomes Metal Sonic (or lead to his birth). While Silver accepts the mission with a heavy heart, Amy refuses stating that there must be another way. This time the organization is not budging on their decision despite Amyâs grievances. If she would not cooperate she would be removed from the mission and forbidden from intervening.
Sensing a darker motive for the organization wanting Sonic the Hedgehog gone for good, she raced against Silver to protect Sonic from his assigned fate. One fight later Amy shakes Silver off her trail by stranding him in another dimension. Fortunately for him, in the loss of one ally, he gains a new one in Blaze the Cat, princess of the Sol dimension. Once he makes her aware of the danger Sonic/metal Sonic could bring to her world and the universe she quickly allies.
Unbeknownst to anyone metal Sonic has escaped containment upon Silver and Amy's departure and he seems to be set on tearing the universe and time itself apart. He also seems to be targeting Amy for some strange reason.
#sonic movie 3#movie amy rose#amy rose#sonic the hedgehog#sonamy#movie sonamy#silver the hedgehog#blaze the cat#metal sonic#rose tinted future AU#sonic movie au#movie amy rose au
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(@weirdocat83's tags to this post) LUNA. YOU HAVE SUMMONED ME. FGRGGRGHOHGROHGROGHROGH LET'S DO THIS.
Okay, so, I don't think it's going to be a reincarnation au in a sense, but, uh, the spirits of the swords search for what could be classed as a 'replacement' for their divine wielders? So, take Xin Mo for example. His previous wielder could be labelled as a god of war, one who craved bloodshed and spent most of their time on the battlefield - so, Xin Mo's spirit naturally searched for a more hostile soul that was similar to the god's soul, because it was easier for the spirit to...bond? with the soul compared to if the spirit had to edit itself to bond with a more peaceful soul. It found the link with Binghe's (Bingge's?) soul because the guy just wanted to be powerful, and it's easiest to gain power through bloodshed - meaning that Xin Mo's spirit could probably "edit" certain parts of Binghe to fit its basic needs (a lot less predatory than in canon), and then "edit" certain parts of itself so that the bond was less hard to maintain. This would be things like recognising and becoming more calm and less bloodthirsty than it can afford to be due to the fact that Binghe is likely to only be on the battlefield if it's necessary for power - unlike the divine wielder, who had battled for entertainment (not to say that Binghe doesn't revel in a good battle, whether due to Xin Mo's influence or just general satisfaction). I feel like the gods do still exist in the divine realm, but they're a lot quieter and aren't really worshipped by the vast majority anymore (think how secularisation has affected modern society), some even disappearing because they simply didn't have enough worshippers or drive to sustain themselves after the purging of their temples - their lives, if you will. Spiritual weapons still exist in the modern times (this is a modern au, in a sense), still wielded by only a choice few (often granting them immortality as long as they held a strong bond), so people know that gods existed at one point, but most believe that all gods did die in the purging. Obviously, part of why the Three Swords are so unique in their legend is because they require a sacrifice in order to be wielded (connected to how their gods had such strong bonds with their swords that they practically sealed themselves until they could find a worthy replacement), whereas most spiritual weapons merely require respect and devotion because their bonds weren't as wholly consuming as the Three Swords' - if that makes sense? Wei Wuxian's sword will be Suibian, I think. Mainly because there is always a lot of emphasis on Chenqing and, don't get me wrong, I love that little fuckin' flute but Suibian my beloved sword. We don't quite know how sword spirits work in MDZS, so I wanna give them some spotlight in this AU! They deserve it!! Suibian definitely had the most protective/familial bond with her previous owner and (I'm not going to blab about the circumstances or anything of Wei Wuxian finding Suibian but) when she hears such a desperate cry for help from what is practically a teen who obviously has no other support, she can't help it! She's always been the most fair of the Three Swords, but she's still picky when it comes to her owner - they must have good, honest intentions to wield her, and nobody ever does (there's always, even a subconscious, ulterior motive outside of protection. Well, kind of). It's hard to yap about without spilling about Wei Wuxian because I do want to write this and I'm not one to drop secrets before I've even got a first chapter drafted. I would yap about the red/black interactions but this post is already pretty big so- PLEASE ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS, IT'S HELPING ME WORLD BUILD AND I AM A FAN OF TALKING ABOUT MY BRAIN WORMS!!
#four's headcanons#three swords au#it's got its own tag now#it means I will write about it#SO CHAT TO ME#TELL ME ANY BRAINWORMS YOU HAVE READING ABOUT IT#I'LL ENJOY INCORPORATING THEM!!!#scum villian self saving system#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#heaven official's blessing#ren zha fanpai zijiu xitong#mo dao zu shi#tian guan ci fu#svsss#mdzs#tgcf#luo binghe#luo bingge#wei wuxian#hua cheng
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I want to talk about allegations of jew face aka claims that someone is faking being jewish.
On one hand, people do fake being jewish. Last year, at pro Palestine protests, JVP handed out shirts with "not in our name" on the front and "jews say ceasefire now" on the back, to people at protests. Some of the people who recieved and wore the shirts were jewish, but there were also non jews given the shirts and wore them. This shirt is still available for sale on the JVP website. Non jews who wear the shirt are doing jew face, as the shirt implies they are jewish.
Then you have blogs like one which was deleted a few months ago, who claimed to be a jew but was actually someone from Iran. Whilst there are jews in Iran, the blog was claiming to be a Jew in the US. So safe to say, it was an Iranian psyop as they were antisemitic.
Conversely, there are many antizionist jewish bloggers who get falsely slapped with the accusation that they aren't really jewish. 10% of jews worldwide are antizionist or non zionist (someone who doesn't believe that countries should exist, and therefore believes both Israel and Palestine, along with every other country should no longer exist).
And it is actually disgusting when an antizionist jew gets slapped with claims that they aren't actually jewish. A jew is a jew is a jew. Someone's opinion does not strip them of their jewishness.
This post was something I have been wanting to talk about but the thing which motivated me to write it is a post I saw listing behaviors that if someone who says their jewish does, then they aren't really jewish.
And I agree with this in some capacity. A lot of those behaviors are indicative of someone faking being jewish, but no group is a monolith and there could be real jews doing that behavior. I'm giving the benefit of the doubt to that poster and assuming they meant it as a loose rule and not hard criteria.
Some of the behaviors listed were people only saying they were jewish after Oct 7th, jews who post antisemitic content, and blogs which go beyond criticisms of Israel and is literally just xenophobia and that's all they post.
And yes, that are all things which jew fakers do. They only claim to be Jewish to gain a sense of being reputable. However I have spoken with jews who are really jews, who do engage in that behavior. Do I agree with that behavior (excluding claiming to be Jewish only after Oct 7th)? No, I do not. I think it's terrible. But does that made a person less Jewish? No. The reason I excluded the only claiming to be Jewish post oct 7th is because for some jews, being jewish wasn't something they want to advertise on their blog. Whilst I have said I was jewish on past blogs I've had, on this one, it wasn't till after Oct 7th did I make it known here. Which for those who never knew my old blogs, which would be everyone as I was cyberstalked by an ex and would delete blogs when my ex found them, it comes off as if I'm suddenly claiming to be Jewish post oct 7th.
There is also another claim commonly tied to claiming antizionist jews are fake jews, which is that antizionist jews must have no connection or limited connection to jewish culture. That they were either not raised with jewish culture or if they were, as an adult they no longer practice even secular judaism. And whilst again yes, this is true for some, it's not true for all.
There is a popular antizionist jewish blogger on here, which has spoken multiple times about how they practice jewish culture and religion. It would be stupid to deny it because of a political belief.
This post as ended up being far longer than I intended, so to hurry up and get to the point, I do not think we should fake claim jews unless there is hard proof that someone is faking being jewish.
Hard proof can be a person claiming prior to not be Jewish, if a blog is revealed to be a psyop, or if you personally know the person running the blog and know for a fact that they aren't jewish.
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HCs about Jellal : Pre abduction / Jellal backstory
Since I am in a slump and have been struggling to find the motivation to write again and continue with my works, I thought I would just share my HCs regarding what I had thought about Jellalâs life Pre-Tower Of Zeref/canon events.
I am aware of the canon backstory that had come out about Jellal in 100YQ, but this is just my HCs/narrative that I had in mind and had been writing about way before the revelation. I wanted to share it just to see if anyone else likes the direction of it and just to get me back into the mindset of thinking about Jellal again since it's been some time.
I will mention though my HCs are more of a grittier, almost seinen like origin, so it can get pretty distressing, however with the darker themes of Fairy Tail I thought it could fit. Just a heads up...This is a pretty long read so thank you to those who are patient with it, i'm sorry I write so much. I will however include some art alongside the HCs to show what the vision was for the narrative so it's more concisive! Note : Smaller bulletpoints/text in the the post are basically related to the parent bulletpoint or image above (I don't know how to format properly on this-) CW & TW : Darker subjects mentioned and discussed, possibly some distressing art beneath
Map of Almeta : AltaĂŻr is the capital (The heart), there are smaller countries around it which are also not recognised by the main kingdoms (it looks big on the map but it's not THAT huge.)
First of all Jellalâs birth country (Almeta) is not on the main continents of Earthland (so neither Ishgar, Guilitina etc), rather it exists/existed as itâs own entity, completely detached from the known kingdoms due to a dark history that has caused the people as a whole to flee away from the influence of magic and in doing so, are not connected to the mainlands.Â
Despite being detached to the forefront of civilization, Almeta is aware of the existence of the other continents/countries of Earthland, however the existence of Almeta is not apparent for those outside of it. To the point that it does not exist on maps (Of course this is because I wanted to be inline with the canonverse, but also there is a reason for the country being hidden which ties in with the lore of my HCs too)
Almeta actually demonises the use of magic, considers the use of it lawless and eventually leading to corruption, however in the same breath the country prides themselves as being the holders of Heavenly Body Magic - Only due to the fact this was the magic that was bestowed upon them by their gods after immense hardship and tyranny.
The only ones who can actually wield/use magic in Almeta are the protectors who are sworn in service to the nation. 7 bloodlines who are said to preserve the founderâs will, Fernandes being one of them.
That being said, now going into my HCs about Jellal directlyâŠ
Jellal (5-6yrs) seeking freedom beyond confinement
Jellal was born as an heir into nobility/priestly lineage
His mother (Kaileen) was a serving priestess (Heavenly Priestess), highly esteemed and revered in the nation alike to a goddess, whereas his father (Rais) was nothing of the sort and actually grew up as seen as a âthreatâ to society. Regardless of the obvious mismatch, his parents married secretly in a said âloveâ marriage and when Jellal was conceived a few years after, he was kept a secret from most of the nation who still wouldnât approve of the marriage yet.
Jellalâs father was not in the country for his birth, he had gone on an expedition organised by the country to the continent for ishgar to take part in diplomatic matters between Almeta and the mainland, as Almeta was seeking to form bonds with Ishgar for the sake of creating new opportunities and gaining more knowledge for itâs people.
That being said there was an attack on Almeta a month before Jellalâs birth and that kept Jellalâs father from returning whilst also pushing back the said âreunionâ date until 8 months since the attack, it was uncovered that his father was deemed the orchestrator of the attack and was said to have fled the country through the expedition.
Due to Jellalâs motherâs connection to his father, she was immediately deemed as a co-conspirator and eventually the law of Almeta deemed her to be punished for her husbandâs treason, which in turn stripped her from her noble rank entirely and with that, Jellalâs was too.
Almetaâs culture was very governed by their religion, one would even say the following/belief was similar to indoctrination, and any sin against the country and itâs people was considered unforgivable. So those who were tied to such sins (i.e. Jellal and his mother) were to be deemed outcasts, marked for their wicked connections and âdevilryâ.
This goes onto my HC of Jellalâs tattoo origin : (since Mashima never covers that)
Jellal (1 yr+) and his mother Kaileen in confinement
The tattoo on Jellalâs face was a marking put upon him and his mother to identify to the people that they were the âcursedâ and forsaken. So called âdevil bloodâ runs between them and they werenât meant to be seen with the same status as other citizens due to their connection to someone (Jellalâs father) who was now proclaimed a devil by Almetian law.
To add, the design of the tattoo originates from the corrupt empire that had tormented/sieged and violated the citizens of Almeta before the founding of the country. Â
The tyrant who had been behind all the suffering, before his death the insignia was carved into the right side of his face to mark him as the âfirst Devilâ, which the tradition carried on by the people and by the ruling of the gods to mark those who follow in footsteps of the tyrant and those associated with the same.
Because of the condemnation Jellal and his mother Kaileen faced, he did not grow up as a normal child. Rather he grew up in captivity, his childhood years being wasted away by growing up in something barely short of a prison, completely deprived of freedom and he was always questioning as to why he was the one suffering like this, why his freedom was being stripped for sins of someone else.
^ This dynamic spurns into why Jellal has such a deep vying for freedom, the will for it is deep rooted beyond his time in the tower of heaven.
On top of being basically kept in confinement, Jellal and his mother faced horrific abuse for years, being the target for degradation, humiliation, cruelty, in Jellalâs case covert racism, and in his motherâs case objectification. The people were not kind to them at all, their gods had ordered the mistreatment of the âdamnedâ as it was seen as a symbol of âbelief and submissionâ.
Now going onto where the canon bits of Jellal tie in with the narratives of this HC :
Jellal (5-6yrs) reading/looking at the book about the saint he idolises
Despite all the severe adversity and unfairness Jellal faced growing up, his way to cope was through a book that he somehow had that detailed the tale of a man who had faced similar adversity and was considered an outcast, who eventually went on to fight the tyrant and save everyone from great evil and be claimed as a hero.
The man in question is actually the founder of Almeta, Saint Siegrain, and Jellal idolised this manâs story to a fault. At first it was an innocent admiration, but as the world and itâs treatment becomes more clear to Jellal and his understanding of justice and himself becomes raw, Siegrainâs story became something he internalised and used to make sense of his own life and to give him hope too.
Saint Siegrain was actually the twin brother to the tyrant, and because of their likeness the facial tattoo that Jellal has, was carved onto his twin brother both as punishment and to differentiate the both of them.
Saint Siegrain was said to have been the one gifted with the destructive power of the heavens (Heavenly Body Magic) that the gods taught to him in his darkest moments under captivity by his own brotherâs tyranny (I think you can tell what this is meant to parallel for Jellal)
However naturally as Jellal tried to cling to this idealistic âsaintâ personality, the darker sides of his personality that started to grow naturally from the circumstances and injustice he grew up in became a fear for him.Â
He always had a pretty black and white understanding of things, the conditions he grew up didnât make it any better, but as a result Jellalâs darker side was something he denied on such a deeper level that he eventually went on to develop a split personality (Siegrain), who started to properly manifest when he was taken into slavery. Â
His compartmentalization of his personality comes from not just wanting to align with his idolâs (Saint Siegrain) story, but also because he doesnât want to acknowledge what it could mean if he does have these darker traits. As then he actually would be like the âfirst devilâ, or the one he mostly despises, his father Rais - The one who gave him said âdevilâ blood. And he wants to be the furthest thing away from either, because that would mean falling in line with the fate he wishes to reject.
Despite the narrative of the tale, Jellal is actually the âSaintâ persona, whilst âSiegrainâ is the âDevilâ. (This can be explained in more detail later if wanted, but I wanted to stay true to canon here in some way).
Siegrain is the persona of Jellal who seeks freedom beyond everything and to rise beyond Jellalâs âdamnedâ fate, yet heâs a manifestation of all the traits/beliefs and ideals that Jellal denies due to his unhealthy idolisation and rejection of said âfateâ - He is a twisted persona that both wishes to protect Jellal yet also resents him, but Jellalâs denial of his darkness is so deep that he does not seem Siegrain as part of him at all - Rather Siegrain is his confidant, his friend, his closest, yet his destruction (Their dynamic I had in mind is very Jekyll and Hyde inspired - The extremes and absence of morality)
Because of how ingrained Jellalâs black and white thinking is, this trait of his doesnât really ever go away even after post TOH events.
Jellal (7-8yrs) making prayers to the gods who he eventually finds out condemned him
Due to Jellalâs upbringing and the gods having basically fated his misery, itâs no surprise why he hates them. At first he prayed to them believing they would intervene for him like the Saint, but then he learned they condemned him for a sin which wasnât his own and despised them there on out.
The only reason he eventually aligns with Zeref is because he sees his power as the thing that can break him out of his fate + âchosen oneâ like the saint.Â
Extra information about the canon info and how it ties into the HCs:Â
How did Jellal get to the Tower Of Zeref? : He was abducted when the cultists of Zeref came to the Almeta and raided the country who were taking part in a huge festival for their gods, and seeking to sacrifice Jellal and his mother in order to earn the godsâs favour againâŠ
Jellalâs personality when he arrived at the Tower Of Zeref? : Despite having been the abused âgood boyâ in his home country, when arriving at the Tower of Zeref, Jellal takes the chance to reinvent himself. Trying to be confident, positive and everything that his past did not allow him to be.
Nirvana? : In my HCs Jellal actually knows the existence of Nirvana before he is abducted. He is told about it through his Grandfather in an innocent talk he was having about how he could âreverseâ his devil blood and be âgoodâ again. But that then spurns Jellal/Siegrain to actually search for Nirvana and information on it when he infiltrates the magic council.
Heavenly Body Magic (HBM)? - As established in the HCs that Almeta prides being the holders of Heavenly Body Magic, during the raid of the country the cultists steal their books and when Jellal rises to power in the tower he teaches himself the material + has a natural affinity towards the magic due to his bloodline having studied Heavenly Body Magic and being attuned towards celestial power.Â
Survives being drowned in Ethernano? : Alongside being the heir of a bloodline powerful in magic ability (Fernandes), the Fernandes bloodline were known to take part in methods that would elevate their magical capacity and power + Jellalâs father had apparently been part of one of the countries underground experiments - Ethernano Absorption.
Ethernano absorption was a project done in order to increase the natural threshold for ethernano in the bodies of humans even in huge quantities, and to be able to filter out toxic potential so it could power said individual.Â
Because his father underwent the experiment, Jellal being his child has also reaped the benefits of the experiment and has been able to absorb large amounts of ethernano to both draw power but also be able to survive incredulous circumstances such as being drowned in the pure substance since his body is capable of not succumbing (well better than the average human/wizard)
Scarlet? : Jellalâs favourite colour is red because it was the only colour that looked lively and caught his attention when living in confinement and everything was grey. He learned the name of the colour Scarlet when he learned of a flower that had itâs name in itâs description.Â
Cats? : Because most people despised Jellal growing up, his friends were nature. He had cats that he considered friends and hence has a fondness for them.
Erza? : Jellal comes to the Tower of Zeref paranoid, despite trying to reinvent himself he feels that he is being seen through. He is wary of everyone around him. He names Erza in the midst of trying to be confident and doing something nice for someone (it's more explained in my fanfic), but itâs her kindness and her ability to see the good in him despite himself which really makes him fall for her. Â
Origins? : Jellal never tells anyone about his true upbringing. He doesnât outright lie as he is bad at it, but he is vague about what happened during the abduction so they can assume their own narrative and he seems more alike to the rest , as he is aware his childhood wasnât anything normal, and he doesnât want to tell anyone lest they discard him after finding out his truth.
Desire for Heaven? : As canon Jellal is obsessed with the idea of heaven and Zeref being the way to obtain it, in this narrative the reason why Jellal/Sieg is so adamant to achieve it is because he has been told Heaven is the perfect place. No misery, no pain. Everything will be peaceful and those who get there would not suffer anymore. (So tying it kind of into the abrahamic religions belief)
But. Because of Jellal being marked a 'devil', he is apparently not fit for heaven on his own and due to being outcasted, he wants to achieve heaven in his own means, defy his fate regardless what sacrifice it requires...Because it would all be worth it in the end.
It starts of as an innocent ideal, to combat the injustice of the world that he and many others have experienced, however then devolves into a controlling obsession, devotion in an attempt to spite the gods themselves and save him from his destined damnation
Extra information about HCs of Jellal and everything else :Â
Almeta (pronounced - Al-me-tchi-a (it isn't pronounced how it's written, but this is only according to my HC-) : Means 'Ambitious' (in Latin)
Jellalâs surname comes from his motherâs side, whilst his forename comes from his fatherâs origins (who is considered a foreigner even in Almeta - Aramian/Azrakh (Equivalent of Arabian/Middle Eastern origin here).
When younger Jellal showed more resemblance to his mother (i.e in softness and colour), but growing older he resembles his fatherâs features more (and this is why the disgust and hate on him was so great in Almeta).
His father is the one who he gets the blue hair from (and growing up Jellal hated it and wished for something normal because his blue hair tied him to the âdevilâ). He started to appreciate it more because of Erza. (Unnatural coloured hair is actually not common in Almeta so Jellal stuck out like a sore thumb)
Jellalâs father is affiliated with the Tower of Zeref. Â
One of the gods worshipped in Almeta is âZerithâ, but that being said he is not worshipped in a traditional sense. The other gods are worshipped in reverence and will, whereas Zerith has the reputation of chaos and destruction, so Zerith is worshipped out of fear. Â
Because of Almetaâs connection to HBM, the country has a huge reverence for the stars and celestial wonder. Â
There are subtypes of Heavenly Body Magic - Jellalâs one he studied is mainly offensive and somewhat all rounding. But the defenders of Almeta learned Heavenly magic that was extremely versatile - it could be performative, destructive, healing, defending etc. Â
Jellal is actually not aware of what rank his family/mother or he could have had, he does learn Fernandes was an important people in the country but he is not aware to what extent. Â
When Jellalâs mother was stripped of her rank, she was also stripped of her magic alongside and forced to live objectified and degraded for her âtreasonâ to a devil. Â
His mother eventually went mad under the harsh persecution, abuse and from living in confinement. She began to hate Jellal and everything about him when she couldnât separate him from his connection to the man who damned them.
Almetaâs inspiration is similar to the crusader period of the holy lands (hence emphasis of religion, mixed cultures, hierarchy etc). (was lowkey inspired by AC1 setting for this)
Ultearâs manipulation is a catalyst for something that was already afflicting Jellal rather than just completely brainwashing him.
Okay that was a really extensive post.
These HCs are based on a narrative I had created trying to do a character study on Jellal, trying to put more reason to his behaviours as a villain aside from Ultearâs manipulation. I wanted to really focus on the ideal of freedom for Jellal, the effect of sins and just building up his mentality from the ground and how it could have been moulded in the Tower of Zeref.
I didnât want Ultearâs intervention to completely take away his accountability whilst in the same breath exploring what could actually turn someone to align with such ideals despite the circumstances. Especially since Jellal has so much potential.
I really love Jellal and just wanted to share my brain rot iâve had on him, I know itâs of a darker and more philosophical/psychological angle and there are layers, but I just hope everything I have written has been cohesive and if there are any questions about it, Iâd love to answer! I have a lot I could say on these HCs, but I don't want to exhaust it all in one post (the post is already so long to begin with ><)
Thank you so much for taking the time to read all of this, truly.
Please do let me know your thoughts if you have any! ^^
PS : If anyone is interested in reading the fanfic I have been writing which implements the above HCs and narrative, iâll link it below.
Also I will link the rest of the art I have been getting done related to this narrative for Jellal.
Thank you once again for reading all this đ€
#Thank you so much and sorry to whoever read through all of that#jellal fernandes#jellal fernandez#jellal#fairy tail#ft jellal#fairy tail jellal#my headcanons#yamishika's hcs#parent ocs#rais fernandes (oc)#kaileen fernandes (oc)#erza#erza scarlet#jerza#yami rambles#yamishika#commissioned art#oc art#young jellal#Young jerza origins#Pre abduction Jellal headcanons#Jellal backstory headcanons#tower of heaven#tower of zeref#Jellal headcanons#Jellal HCs#fairy tail headcanons#Jellal-centric#Siegrain
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Trigger Warning: Rare Illness/Health Issues [wasn't sure if this need a tw but these topics make some ppl uncomfy so i wanted to be considerate anywayđ]
so a lot of ppl have been asking me why i don't post pics anymore or why i have barely been on social media compared to how i used to be. and the reason is i've been having severe health issues for a very long time. i can't even remember the last time i went more than a month without feeling nauseous, or actually throwing up, or just having headaches and stomach pain that are so bad i can barely tolerate them.
i've known for a while that i have gastritis, but my mom & my bf convinced me to go to a new doctor for a second opinion. after months & months of pure agony and feeling exhausted and sick to the point where i have no energy, i finally know why. i went to a specialist and discovered i have a rare illness called CVS (Cyclic vomiting syndrome). and i also am lactose intolerant which was amplifying my symptoms because i eat dairy products constantly.
i am going to be starting treatment for it and i really hope it improves my life and my ability to function because i am so tired of "living" like this. just existing has been exhausting and painful. i literally haven't been able to accomplish any of the goals i have because i can't go more than a few days without feeling horrible.
i already feel useless because i'm autistic and i have bipolar 1 and i'm waiting on disability payments to come through because i am unable to work with my disabilities. so my bf has been working and doing his best to take care of me and our kids. i just feel so horrible and guilty all the time. and i genuinely didn't know why i feel sick 24/7. all i want is to feel like myself again. and to do all the things i miss doing. i feel like i'm trapped by this illness.
i'm grateful to have answers and know what i'm dealing with finally. but after suffering like this almost every single day for so long its so hard to feel hopeful for the future at this point. i'm literally in tears as i type this. its just been really bad. i never do my makeup anymore or feel good about myself. i can barely move sometimes because the pain in my stomach is so bad or i get pain in my throat from vomiting for hours at a time, and then i get MORE pain from dry heaving due to not being able to hold down any food. and then i get random migraines and headaches that last all day as a result of all of that. its taking a huge toll on my body and my mental health. my depression gets worse during the winter season so when this started getting really bad it just made my mental health a million times worse. its literal hell.
but yeah thats why i haven't been online. real life is hard enough and i haven't been motivated to post because of the hell i'm going through or a lot of the time i physically CAN'T make content. but i'm going to keep trying. i'm going to do every fucking thing my doctors tell me to do because im so fed up with suffering. i promise that i will make content again and post the things i create and other stuff i used to post about before i stopped being able to function. as soon as i start to feel semi normal or at least well enough to do daily activities and complete even small goals, i will post about it. i'll keep u guys updated.
i appreciate every single person who follows me and my content, and all the ppl who keep checking up on me and wondering where the fuck i went. i love you guys so muchđ and i'm so sorry to all the ppl who haven't heard from me. if i can gain at least a little bit of my physical strength and health back, i will be so happy. i also am trying to get vitamins prescribed to me because im severely lacking nutrients but they are so expensive and i can't afford them out of pocket until i get my disability money. i'm also anemic and have to start taking iron supplements again. i'm just a giant ball of health issuesđ its actually ridiculous how bad my health has been. but i'm a mom and for that reason i will never stop trying. i will do whatever it takes to get better. i don't think my health could get much worse than it is currently. hopefully i didn't just jinx myself by saying thatđ
sorry for the super long explanation, i just have sooo many messages in my inbox and questions that you guys send me that i haven't answered. i don't want to leave u in the dark. the connections i've made on this silly little blog mean the world to me. and everything i've been going through has been so hard to explain. but since i recently got a REAL answer as to why i'm suffering so much, i felt it was a good time to let you guys know what is going on with me. like i said, when i am able to feel somewhat normal again i will post consistently and re-open my shop too! it sucks so bad having a passion for creating but being too sick to even get out of bed other than to get sick in the bathroom. i've been to the emergency room more times this month than i have in the last 4 years. if i can overcome this awfulness i will not take it for granted. i will work harder than i ever have to create and share it with the world. but for now i just have to sit back and do whatever my doctors tell me to do and hope to god that it helps me đ
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Are there any characters you're excited about introducing or writing later in the story? Are there any non-spoilery scenes you're excited to eventually write for the story? What do you think is the closest equivalent they might have to Halloween in Westeros? Harvest festivals? Days to worship the stranger, maybe? Would they carve pumpkins, do you think?
There are three characters I'm excited about who will make an appearance much further down the line (I wrote a scene with two of them but opted to exclude it from chapter twenty-three). On the more obvious side, definitely looking forward to Corlys and Laena, and eventually bringing poor Rhaenyra back to King's Landing. (She's been in the character tags since the beginning of the story and has had one scene, and we very well might not have her join the fray until we hit 200K words... đ)
I'm also looking forward to writing some of the various Lord Paramounts (and family) once we make it out of King's Landing. Larys is due to arrive in King's Landing within just a few days. I'm looking less forward to him, because he's a thorny fellow to figure out--I'm going with his book characterization rather than the show, because we have enough "this character loves Alicent" motivations for various other characters.
Non-spoilery scenes I'm excited about writing:
going to Runestone
Ser Perkins's eventual arrival and, uh, interrogation by Daemon
when the boys' belongings (which were left behind and discovered by men of the Bloody Gate) arrive
winter in either the Riverlands or the Vale!
the boys meeting Rhaenyra, Corlys, Laena, etc
the hatchlings' first dragonflame (and flame color reveal)
Rhaegar playing legos and Viserys
Jon recovering from his injuries and getting to show off for real this time
lots of gift-giving! but especially Daemon's name day
secret passage shenanigans
Spoilery scenes I'm excited about writing:
Tarth
when Laena asks [redacted] for [redacted] after [redacted] (this may or may not happen, still musing upon it)
when the cousins [redacted]
when Laenor [redacted]
the [redacted] tourney and later the [redacted] tourney
when Daemon [redacted] and the boys are terrified
Lots of stuff I'm forgetting, but those are what come to mind!
It's interesting if they are harvest festivals, because I want to know how the heck the growing/harvesting seasons work with the fucked up seasons of this world. Like. It seems that on average, each season lasts a year-ish. So you have a "harvest" season (aka before winter when crops die out) once every three years at a minimum. So I feel like when autumn does come around, there are festivities of some kind! The idea of something Stranger-related is also a neat one.
Pumpking carving must be a thing, since Cersei snarks at one point in the books about someone looking like a harvest-day pumpkin! And in Resonant, one of the knights Jon interrogates mentions placing in one of the melees of the Harvest Tourney some years before.
I guess if I have to write something into existence right here and now I would do:
A month-long period of festivities, kicked off by a festival and closing generally with a tourney in Viserys's time (he loves an excuse for a tourney)
Pumpkin dishes are a main feature of this time, since pumpkin carving is an event that children take part in to celebrate. Pumpkin soup, pastries, seasoning, cooked pumpkin on the side, etc.
There is, apparently, a specific harvest-day--perhaps one concluding the festivities. On this day, nobles who make the trek to King's Landing for an audience with the king engage in an exchange of gifts/favors.
Some symbolic gift from the Crown to the smallfolk of the city.
I like the idea of a masquerade, but it's an "exotic" practice that hasn't gained traction. Perhaps popular in Dorne?
Probably more! IDK if anyone else has a neat idea!
#resonant asks#autumn is my favorite season so i'm a little sad it's almost over in resonant!#tbd whether the monthslong festivities are still to come#we do have SOME time yet before winter
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thereâs a lot of talk about missed potential in jjk, and I agree, while culling games onward was a good ol fight shonen, shibuya incident was something special, dark and painful but built on a core foundation of hope and positivity that drives yuji as a character, but it kinda peaked there, never hitting the same emotional depth after, with the exception of maki and the zenin assassination arc.
But from the many things Iâve seen brought up, one of the things I havenât seen is just the core premise of cursed energy not being used like it could be from the getgo. Instead of just being Ki, it was something developed *through* the negative emotions that pool and spawn curses. This is just gonna be me spitballing but listen listen.
Yutaâs the best way to segue into this. A sensitive kid loses his best friend and spirals into grief, unknowingly channeling his cursed technique (instead of just being able to copy, him being able to replicate/leech soul âdataâ in general) as he hangs on to every memory and memento of her, acting as almost ritual and binding her soul to his, resulting in the vengeful spirit we know of rika, his raw cursed energy output resulting from the feedback loop of negativity that comes from the mass guilt of the horrors rika enacts in his defense, as well as the guilt of trapping her with him in the first place when he learns itâs his fault. His power is the direct result of the weight he carries with him.
And in the same way, other characters bear their trauma in their power. Makiâs frustration and spite at the circumstances of her birth placing her under every disadvantage with the system as it is. Sukunaâs raw hatred and disdain for his fellow man. Gojoâs isolation from his own humanity as The Strongest, growing up both closer to everyone than anyone could ever know, as the six eyesâ ability to see the flow of cursed energy allows him to practically read peopleâs minds emotionally, and yet expectations and power have placed him on a pedestal so far away from humanity, pressured and forced into sorcery, not a single other interest permitted, from the moment of his birth. Yuji, being a newcomer, predominantly working off fear and the still fresh grief of his grandpa, along with the pressure he now feels as someone capable of sorcery to protect those who are not, one bornout of love but no less harsh, and after shibuya, like yuta, he gains a burning core of guilt for what his life has allowed to happen. Stretching more now but instead of becoming racist and getting skilljacked, geto breaking at the end of hidden inventory is where his character launches off from, instead of how it dooms itself to end; I would need to put more thought into it to make it make concrete sense but his want to rid the world of nonsorcerers and âevolve humanityâ is not out of hatred for the weak but his love for humanity as a whole, he wants a humanity that can defend itself against the natural consequence of its existence that is cursed energy, and sorcerers are basically the only ones who can do that, so non-sorcerers are simply liabilities and sources of cursed energy that donât pull their own weight, and kenjaku is maybe more like a symbiote to him, his patron that just so happens to have the same practical goals as him, albeit a different motive of pure scientific curiosity (assuming they still want the tengen merger or if theyâre still in the story at all, they donât fit into this brainbaby idea quite as well as everything else, but I digress).
And this isnât just a story thing, it also affects the battle system too. Desperation while losing a fight actively makes you more powerful - also means consequently that like people who keep their cool like gojo (ignoring the minor insanity (and him seeing his ex-boyfriend)) have an inherent power limiter; he may be the strongest but he doesnât get the same power buffs that everyone else can. Maybe positive energy actually like exists aside from mahoraga and rct. itâs harder to use because well people latch onto negative emotion easier than positive emotion and if youâre fighting obviously things are not sunshine and rainbows, but it is more effective against pure curses and can heal (also then if you can only rct off positive emotion, that power swing from negativity kinda shifts you into a glass canon with more damage but less ability to heal).
Do I turn this into fanfic. Do I do that thing where you make fanfic but break it so far from anything canon itâs basically just original content. or do I just keep it all locked in my head because Iâm lazy. Decisions decisions.
#art#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk spoilers#sukuna#jjk sukuna#I was gonna draw all the characters I talked about here labeled with their primary curse emotion#but then I didnât want to#so now sukuna is just here to look pretty
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