#how do i even finish anything at this rate
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post-las vegas WDC max/daniel, rated M. ~1300 words. @girlsdads mentioned something about a lil bit of LL hating in a fic so. I did a lil bit of LL hating too.
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A face floats into Maxâs field of vision probably three hours into the fifth different party Max had been shepherded to since the race ended. Heâs about ninety-percent sure heâs still in Las Vegas. He blinks blearily at it, hoping at least itâs pretty enough to look at. It has been a while since. Since.
Liam Lawson blinks back. Not who he was expecting. Gross.Â
âMax,â he says, sounding too sober for whatever time it is. The club is loud but Max can still unfortunately hear him. âAre you okay?â
Max attempts a sweeping gesture, heâs carrying a glass of something and it hits someoneâs back, making Max drop it with a smash. Liam cringes, looking like heâs about to complain. âThis is my party, mate,â Max says, cutting off whatever Liam was going to say. âIâm fucking great.â
âChristian just left,â Liam says, and Max kind of hates how he talks but what can you do. Maybe he just doesnât like Liam. âI think thereâs another party happening a few blocks from now, do you want to join me?â
If Christian left that means Max can leave without theoretically offending anybody, even though it is his party. Half of the people around him donât seem like people he knows anyway. âNah man, you go on ahead, Iâll head back to the hotel ââ
âOh then Iâll head back with you,â Liamâs probably the most cheerful heâs been since Max met him. âYuki scored and left me here.âÂ
Pity isnât something Max feels often, but he does feel a bit of pity now. In his first year he was never left alone in clubs, either Carlos or Daniel were always there making sure they were around to get him back to wherever before they took someone home or to their hotel rooms. More often it was Daniel, and more often Daniel didnât take anyone home, because they were sharing a room and more often it was just fun to watch onboards together, side by side.Â
No one else but them.Â
Then again, Max was a teenager in his first year and Liamâs twenty-two. He wouldnât need babysitting.Â
âAlright,â Max isnât sure where he is. He doesnât know how to ask Liam without sounding like an absolute idiot.Â
âI have a car waiting,â Liam adds, after Max stared off into the distance for a few seconds, willing someone to appear with a car. Maybe Max isnât being as subtle as he thought he was.Â
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Red Bull and VCARB drivers are often put up in the same hotel, usually the standard room but Helmut had finangled him a penthouse upgrade on Thursday, telling Max that he deserved a proper room to party in, like Max was going to bring home an orgy.Â
Heâs pretty sure Liam couldnât possibly have gotten a penthouse upgrade too. Heâs sure hotels only have one penthouse? Heâs sure. If he was less drunk he would be surer. But Liam makes no move to push any buttons.Â
âMind if I come up for a nightcap?â Liam asks, smiling. This is the most Max has seen him smile ever since he got DanielâŠever since Daniel left and he jumped in the car. Max does not want him to come up for a nightcap but Max is feeling generous tonight.Â
âSure, why not.â Someone had spilled what seems like a bottle of champagne on him at some point in the night and his shirt is sticking to him. Heâs too tired to shower. Meh. Itâll be a problem for hungover Max tomorrow.Â
The lift goes up insanely fast but still feels too slow for Max tonight. Heâs WDC, four times WDC, heâs used to faster things, sue him. Liam is still staring at him.Â
âGood driving tonight,â Max says, for want of anything better to do or say. He has no idea where Liam finished to be honest.Â
âI finished 16,â Liam says flatly. Yikes. Well.Â
The door dings open onto Maxâs floor. And.Â
Danielâs sitting on the giant sectional of the penthouse living room.Â
He looks gorgeous. Max wants to stare forever. He looks broad and good and tanned, his beard has filled in a lot more than when Max last saw him in Monaco, his hair thicker. The sweatshirt heâs wearing looks less oversized than usual, fitting his shoulders instead of drooping over them, and his trousers make his thighs look great.Â
Heâs smirking. He looks like a frat guy. He looks like one of those men from Victoriaâs magazines that Max definitely didnât jerk off over.Â
Max is probably drooling, and Liam runs into him as heâs stepping out of the lift.Â
âOh sorry mate I â Daniel, hello.â Liamâs voice is a bit high. Confused. Probably scared. âDidnât realize you were in Vegas. Red Bull didnâtâŠâ
Daniel stands up and comes over. Max is still staring. Daniel moves like an apex predator and Liamâs just the runt of litter in this. âHey Liam. Well. Red Bull doesnât own me anymore mate, do they? I can be wherever I want.â
He claps Liam on the shoulder in greeting then grabs Maxâs limp hand. âCame to see my boy be the World Champion again.â
Liamâs probably saying something but Max doesnât care, because Danielâs pulling him in, arms going around Max, sticky shirt and all, and Max is going to swoon because Daniel smells good, good, good, their lips meeting after ages, Danielâs lips and tongue the best, most refreshing thing Max has tasted all night. Someoneâs moaning.Â
Itâs him.Â
âUmâŠâ
Liamâs still there.Â
Max tries to pull back but Danielâs got his hands on his ass, lifting, lifting, and Maxâs legs going around him in response, and Danielâs got them on the sofa in a second, Max perched on Danielâs wide wide thighs without even separating their lips once. Itâs the hottest thing Max has ever felt. Heâs going to come just from the thought alone.Â
âLiam,â Danielâs saying, pulling back a few centimeters to give Max some breathing space. âIâm going to fuck my husband on this sofa right now, and heâs going to be screaming loud enough to be heard from the moon. So like,â he pops the k, and Maxâs dick twitches, precome dripping into his underwear, âunless you want a front row seat to that for some reason, shouldnât you be heading to bed?âÂ
âHusband?â Liamâs stuttering. âExcuse me? You canât â Does Christian know? Heâs going to be so mad at you, Max what the fuck â?â
âGet out,â Daniel says. Max has never heard him sound like that. âNow.âÂ
âIâm calling Christian,â Liam says as a parting shot. âHe wonât â heâs not going to allow this.â
âYeah you do that, mate,â Daniel rolls his eyes then squeezes Maxâs ass harder. God, heâs so hot. Max feels insane. Husband husband husband. âWhatâs he going to do, fire me again?âÂ
The lift dings shut again. Theyâre blessedly alone.Â
âHusband?â Max snorts, shivering as Danielâs fingers undo his pant buttons. âBit presumptuous of you, donât you think?â
âThe ringâs in the suitcase, baby,â Daniel says, smiling like a wolf, fingers curling around Maxâs dick. Max grinds into the feeling, needing Daniel inside him right now. This is the best day of his life. âWas hoping youâd say yes.â
âLet me think about it,â Max laughs, and Daniel bites his nipple through his shirt. âLiamâs probably told the Herald by now.â
âIâll personally send him the wedding photos,â Daniel cackles, licking up Maxâs neck, leaving wet trails in the cold air con of the room, âif he promises to send me photos of Christian when he tells him I was about to fuck him in front of you.â
âStop talking about Christian and fuck the World Champion already, husband,â Max says, his laughter turning into moans when Daniel all too willingly complies.
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Title: Daddy
Rating: Explicit Smut
Warnings: Daddy kink ofc, Edging, Teasing, Praise kink, Toys, Light BDSM
Words: 1.2k
I didnât add a name so this is for any fandom or character you wish! (is there a word for this?)
Posted before I could think too much about it đ enjoy âșïž
âCan we talk about something?â
âYes, love!â He smiles and focuses his attention on you. You blush, youâve been practicing this conversation in your head for days but you still instantly turn bright red. Doing everything to avoid eye contact you cover your face with your hands. âWow baby, look at that blush!â He says pulling your arms away from your face, you pull them back to you. However, heâs substantially stronger than you are and easily exposes your face. âWhat is it?â A huge smile crosses his face.
âI umm,â you start. He guides you to taking a few breaths and staring at the couch. âWell, weâve been together for a while. Weâve talked about and have doneâŠstuffâŠâ You feel yourself turn into a tomato again as he smirks.
âWe have indeed done âstuff.ââ He laughs.
âWhat do you want me to call you?â You ask, squeezing your eyes shut.
âWhat do you mean love?â He asks, trying to understand your vague question.
âLike umm, like daddy or sir or something.â You pause and he stays quiet. Your heart races and you jump into a mini rant. âI just the last time we-, you were veryâŠI donât know...in character and I wanted to call you a title but I didnât know which of them, if any, you wanted.â You rattle off incredibly fast before being abruptly stopped by the softest lips youâve ever felt. A familiar feeling of the anxiety of finishing the question, waves away like a rolling tide, the only thing you needed was for him to respond.
âThat,â His voice is deep in an almost growl as he continues. âIs an excellent question. No need for blushes or hiding, you can ask me anything without worry, my love.â He cups your cheek. âWhich do you prefer?â He asks, his voice coated in velvet. You blush even deeper and look back at the couch quickly. He raises an eyebrow and repeats the question. You donât answer, way too embarrassed. He waits a few beats before continuing âWould it help if I told you my favorite?â He whispers against your mouth.
You nod rubbing your nose against his. His pupils flutter as he leans forward and bites your ear gently. âDaddy.â He growls. His voice has a that sultry gravel that he only gets when heâs about to fuck you until you canât walk. You moan and grind against nothing. He takes that as a sign and grabs you so youâre straddling him.
âYouâre so hot when youâre too embarrassed to talk. You talk to people for a living, doll.â He nuzzles and kisses your neck as a blush covers your chest and cheeks. âBut when youâre hereâŠwith me. You can barely put two words together.â You reach your hand down and palm him through his jeans, his breath quickens and he groans.
âBed?â You whimper. He nods and follows you up the stairs to your room. Stripping along the way, once you get to the room youâre both completely naked. He pushes you against the door, he puts his thigh between your legs for you to grind against. You moan and whisper âPleaseâŠdaddy,â
âYes?â He says as if you arenât coming undone on his leg.
âPlease fuck me, god I need you.â
âAs you wish.â He says and tosses you on the bed before he kneels in front of your glistening pussy. He gently runs his tongue up the entirety of your cunt. He toys with your clit making you squirm and beg for more. Quick flicks and slow licks, you love how he takes his time and savors every gasp and whine. He slowly puts two long, thick fingers inside, you groan and roll your hips. He plays your body perfectly massaging your g spot and clit with his thumb. All the while taking each of your hands and cuffing them to the bed. He brings you so close with rhythmic, well practiced precision before rapidly pulling his fingers out of you.
âNope not yet,â he stands up, licking his fingers and smirking. âI am quite proud of you.â He opens a box with a ribbon on it and pulls out a big pinkâŠsomething. Heâs far away but all questions resolve when you hear the vibrations. He turns around delicately playing with the shaking, not so delicate object in his hands as he continues.
âIâm sure that question was burning in your brain for a while, wasnât it.â You nod. âI canât hear you, my sweet thing.â He says in a gentle sing-songy voice (think moriarty) as he walks slowly toward you.
âWay too long.â You whimper, already a desperate mess.
âI can hear you pacing, in the elevator at workâŠâ He steps closer and massages the rumbling toy in his hand.
âYou mumble under your breath, rehearsing it in the tub, the carâŠmaybe even our last few times.â You instantly blush so deeply. âHmm that looks like a yes.â You go to cover your eyes but you're stopped by the cuffs.
âWas daddy your favorite too?â You nod frantically with needy groans. Watching his hands get closer to your cunt, he stops and turns the vibratior off.
âWhy?â You whine.
âThereâs your beautiful voice!â He exclaims. âWhen I ask you questions,â he runs his fingers gently up from your legs, across your stomach, between your tits and up your neck, placing it finally and firmly to the side of your head to balance himself steadily above you.
âItâs because I want to hear your answers, doll.â He leans in and rests just above your lips, you feel his breath on your lips. âSo I ask again, what was your favorite one?â He whispers, the faint minty and familiar feeling of him talking into your mouth washes over you. You smile under his lips and gather all of the brat and (something)) energy youâve pent up, sass laced tongue and with direct eye contact.
âDaddy.â The smugness falls from your face when you hear the vibratior turn on. A dark and twisted semi sadistic smile covers his face. He breathes in the moment time feels stopped while he looks you over. Light perspiration and pleading eyes, he loves teasing and gentle mind games with his desperate little plaything.
âMmm, that's my girl.â His voice runs across gravel as he pins the toy to your clit. You cry out and immediately hold your breath to silence yourself. âBreathe baby!â You gasp and when you catch your breath you muffle yourself again and groan under your voice.
âFor the love of,â he pulls the toy away and you whine. He taps your clit with the device making a rhythm of whines and groans spill from you. He goes on too long just teasing and tauntingâŠedging you. He hasnât edged you in so long.
âOh god yes please, more daddy please please!!â
âYes, beautiful sweetheart,â he whispers and bites your ear lobe, continuing his tormenting of your clit. You moan and pant heavily, after one deep breath and turning the vibrator to its max setting, youâre so so close, teetering on the edge until he groans against your ear. âCum for me, my sweet girl.â Your brain snaps and you cum loudly with your nails digging into his skin a little of his blood runs under your nails. You nearly wail as the first orgasam of a very long night rips through your body.
#fanfic#bucky barnes#smut#sebastian stan#marvel#dean winchester smut#marvel fanfic#dean winchester#daddy k!nk#praise k!nk#loki smut#pedro pascal smut#light dom/sub#bd/sm kink#bucky barnes x reader#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester comfort
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Breaking the script
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where the reader is cast in a High Flying Birds music video but the line between acting and reality becomes quite blurry.
(Right you lot, this oneâs for the grown-ups, yeah? But donât worry it's all done proper classy, if you know what I mean)
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It had been a rough few weeks. The gigs werenât coming as often as youâd hoped, and money was running tighter than ever. You sat on the edge of your flatâs bed, chewing on your lip as you dialed your agent.
"Look," you started after a few pleasantries. "Iâm proper brassic this month. Is there anything going? Backup vocals? A commercial? Iâll do a bloody jingle for washing-up liquid at this rate.â
Your agent, a patient but perpetually stressed woman named Mandy, hummed on the other end. âIâll see what I can dig up. Might be a bit of a wait, but hold tight.â
âTa, Mandy,â you said, hoping she could hear the gratitude in your voice. You needed this break, even if it was just enough to get you through another month.
A few days later, your phone buzzed while you were out grabbing a coffee. You nearly spilled it fumbling to answer.
âAlright,â Mandy said. âIâve got something for you. Itâs a music video job. Couple of auditions to send in, but I think youâve got a decent shot since you've done some work before.â
âA music video?â you asked, trying not to sound too desperate. âWhoâs it for?â
There was a slight pause on the line before Mandy said, âNoel Gallagherâs High Flying Birds.â
You nearly dropped your coffee. âYouâre joking.â
âDead serious. Itâs for the next single, big budget production, too.â
Heart pounding, you tried to keep your voice steady. âWhatâs the role?â
âWell, the briefâs a bit vague,â Mandy admitted. âCould be anything from a featured extra to a lead. Youâll have to wait and see if you get it. Just send over the tapes as soon as you can.â
When the call ended, you slumped into your chair, trying to wrap your head around it. A potential job with Noel Gallagher? You quickly gathered your thoughts and got to work recording the audition tapes, pouring everything you had into them.
A week later, Mandy called back. âGood newsâyou got it. And not just any role, love. Youâre the lead.â
The words barely registered at first. âThe⊠lead?â
âYup. Looks like youâll be playing opposite Noel himself.â
You felt a mix of excitement and sheer panic. âWhatâs the script like?â
âItâs a bit abstract,â Mandy explained. âBut, uh⊠thereâs a kissing scene.â
Your stomach flipped. âRight,â you said faintly.
âYouâll be fine,â Mandy reassured you. âJust keep it professional, yeah? No fangirling.â
The next few days were a blur of preparation. When you finally got the script, your nerves kicked into overdrive. The kissing scene was there, clear as day. You tried not to dwell on itâafter all, it was just acting, but the thought of being that close to Noel made your heart race.
The day of the shoot arrived in a haze of nerves and excitement. You were ushered into hair and makeup the moment you arrived on set. The stylists worked quickly, crafting a look that was sort of timeless and fit the aesthetic of the project.
âAs you already know youâre playing opposite Noel,â a production assistant had casually mentioned as she handed you the dayâs schedule. âHeâs already in the building. Shouldnât be long now.â
Your heart skipped a beat, not only meeting, but also working with him still felt quite surreal.
Once your look was finished, they led you to a side room where Noel was waiting. As you entered, he was perched on the arm of a chair, one foot on the floor, flipping through the script like he couldnât care less. When he looked up, his sharp blue eyes met yours, and for a second, you forgot how to breathe.
âAh, so youâre the one theyâve stuck me with,â he said, standing and tucking the script under his arm. His voice as dry and deadpan as youâd imagined.
âHi, Iâm Y/N,â you said, sticking out your hand.
âNoel,â he said simply, shaking it with a firm grip. He gave you a once-overânot in a rude way, but with a hint of curiousity. âRight then, you reckon youâre ready for this?â
You laughed nervously. âI hope so.â
He raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth lifting in a small smirk. âWell, no pressure or owt. Just me name on the line if youâre shite.â
You blinked, unsure how to respond until you caught the playful glint in his eye. âNo pressure for you either, right? Only the whole world watching if youâre shite.â
He chuckled, a low, genuine sound. âFair play.â
Just then, one of the assistants poked their head in to tell you both that you had an hour or so before filming started. âRight, well,â Noel said once they were gone, âmight as well sit down. Weâre supposed to be in love or summat, so better get on.â
You hesitated. âAre you sure? I donât want to bother you.â
He waved you off. âYouâll be less of a bother here than legging it round the place. Sit.â
You sat beside him on the couch, careful to leave a bit of space, but he leaned back casually, his knee brushing yours. He reached into his pocket, pulling out some chuddy. âYou want one?â
âUh, sure.â You took the piece he offered, unwrapping it while he popped one in his mouth.
Silence settled between you for a moment as you fiddled nervously with the wrapper in your hands. Noel was the one to break it. âSo, youâre from round here, then?â
âYeah,â you replied with a nod. âGrew up near Burnage.â
He raised an eyebrow, a grin tugging at his lips. âAh, so youâre proper local, then. Thatâs more like it.â
You chuckled, shrugging. âYeah, nothing fancy. Just tried to keep my head down and graft, you know?â
He nodded, his grin softening. âWell, seems like itâs paying off now.â
The conversation flowed easily from there. He asked about your life then music, your influences, what got you into it in the first place. His questions werenât just politeâthey seemed genuinely curious. On top of that, he had this way of looking at you when you spoke, like he was actually listening, not just waiting for his turn to talk. It made you feel seen in a way you hadnât expected.
At one point, you cracked a joke about struggling through a particularly bad gig, and when you gestured, your hand brushed his arm. He didnât move away, and instead, his eyes lingered on yours for a fraction longer than necessary.
âYouâve got your head screwed on right for a youngin,â he said after a while, nodding slightly. âDonât see that much in this business.â
You felt your cheeks heat up. âThat means a lot coming from you.â
He shrugged, but his eyes softened. âDonât let it go to your head, though.â
âWouldnât dream of it,â you quipped, smiling.
He chuckled, and the corner of his mouth twitched into that smirk again. The kind of smirk that could make anyone weak at the knees. Before either of you could say more, there was a knock at the door.
âRight,â called the assistant. âTime to head to set.â
The first scenes were easier than youâd expectedâwalking through some streets, laughing together, doing some hand holding here and there. The chemistry between you and Noel came quite naturally, he seemed relaxed, even playful at times.
By the time you reached the final sceneâset in the carâyou were buzzing with a mix of excitement and nerves.
You slid into the passenger seat while Noel climbed into the driverâs side. He adjusted the mirror, glancing at you sideways with a faint grin. âYou reckon thisâll win us a BAFTA?â
You laughed, shaking your head. âDoubt it, but maybe weâll get a free drink at the afterparty.â
âOh, well then, worth the hassle,â he said dryly. After a beat, he added, âYouâve done good today, yâknow.â
The sincerity in his voice caught you off guard. âTaâ you said, smiling shyly. âIâve really enjoyed it.â
He turned his head toward you fully, his eyes catching yours. âYeah? Not bad spending the day with an old git like me?â
âYouâre not that old,â you teased, trying to lighten the mood. âAnd anyway, youâve still got your charm.â
His lips twitched into a smirk, but before he could respond, the crew interrupted with final instructions. âAlright,â the director called. âLetâs make it look real, yeah? Just natural.â
You and Noel nodded, and the cameras started rolling.
The director gave a few last-minute instructions, and you both nodded, settling into your places. The car was dimly lit, the scene designed to feel intimate and slightly moody. You adjusted your position in the passenger seat, suddenly hyper-aware of the closeness between you and Noel.
He glanced at you, his lips quirking into that familiar smirk. âDonât look so terrified. Itâs not real, yâknow.â
You gave him a shaky laugh, trying to steady your nerves. âOh, cheers for the reminder. You should write self-help books with lines like that.â
He chuckled, leaning back in his seat as he adjusted his collar. âRight, letâs get this over with, eh? Canât be harder than sitting through Liamâs tantrums.â
You stifled a giggle just as the director called action. Noel turned to you, his expression softening as he slipped into character. It was incredible how effortlessly he shifted from his usual sarcastic demeanor to something that felt so real. He reached out, brushing a strand of hair from your face with a tenderness that made your stomach flip.
You leaned in, just as the script called for, and suddenly his lips were on yours. At first, it was softâhesitant, almostâbut then something shifted. His hand slid to the back of your neck, pulling you closer. The kiss deepened, and before you knew it, it didn't feel like just acting anymore. His lips moved with an intensity that made your head spin, and your fingers curled instinctively into the fabric of his shirt.
Somewhere in the background, you vaguely heard a muffled giggle, but it didnât register until the directorâs voice rang out: âCut! Oi, you two, save it for later!â
You pulled back abruptly, your face burning as you glanced at the crew. A couple of them were snickering behind their cameras, and the director looked half-amused, half-exasperated. Noel, however, didnât seem the least bit bothered. He leaned back in his seat, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and gave the crew a lazy grin.
âWhat? Thought you lot said natural.â
The crew laughed, and the director shook his head. Meanwhile, you were desperately trying to compose yourself, your heart still pounding from the kiss.
Before you could say anything, Noelâs agent appeared by his side, clipboard in hand. âNoel, got a couple of things to go over before youâre done for the day.â
Noel sighed, standing up and giving the car door a light push. âRight. Canât bloody wait.â
As he turned to follow the agent, he paused, leaning down so only you could hear. âGive it half an hour, yeah? Come by my room.â His voice was low, his breath warm against your ear.
All you could do was nod, too stunned to speak. He gave you a quick wink before walking off, leaving you to sit there with your thoughts spiraling in a hundred different directions.
After taking a moment to collect yourself, you returned to the dressing area to freshen up. Your reflection in the mirror betrayed just how flustered you wereâcheeks flushed, lips still slightly swollen from the kiss. You dabbed on some powder, trying to steady your nerves as you checked the time. Exactly thirty minutes had passed when you made your way to his room.
You hesitated outside the door, your hand hovering just above the wood. What am I even doing? you thought. Before you could talk yourself out of it, the door swung open, and there he was.
âThought I heard you mooching around out here,â Noel said, leaning casually against the doorframe. His tone was light, but his eyes had that same intensity from earlier, the kind that made it hard to look away. âCâmon in.â
You stepped inside, noting how sparse the room wasâjust a couch, a small table, and a couple of suitcases. He closed the door behind you, and the click of the lock sent a shiver down your spine.
âAlright, then,â he said, nodding toward the couch. âMake yourself comfortableâ
You obeyed, perching on the edge of the cushion while he sat next to you, arms crossed. For a moment, neither of you spoke. His gaze lingered on you, his head tilted slightly, like he was trying to figure you out.
âYouâve been driving me bloody crazy all day,â he said finally, his voice low and rough.
Your breath hitched. âMe? Youâve got it backwards. Itâs you driving me crazy.â
That made him smirk, and he pushed off the table, taking a slow step toward you. âOh, yeah? Howâs that, then?â
You swallowed hard, your eyes flicking to his mouth before you could stop yourself. âYouâre... impossible. Thatâs how.â
âImpossible?â he repeated, the word rolling off his tongue seamlessly. He was sitting even closer to you now, close enough that you could see the faint stubble on his jaw, the way his shirt clung to his chest. âFunny, that. Donât feel so impossible when youâre snogging me in a car, though, does it?â
You opened your mouth to retort, but he didnât give you the chance. His hands came up to cup your face, and then his lips were on yours againâfierce and demanding, like heâd been holding back all day and couldnât keep it in anymore. You melted into the kiss, your fingers tangling in his hair as he pulled you closer, practically lifting you off the couch.
âChrist,â he muttered against your mouth, his voice husky. âYouâve no idea what you do to me.â
âMaybe I do,â you whispered, your hands sliding to his chest.
He groaned softly, deepening the kiss until your head spun. His hands were everywhereâyour waist, your back, the curve of your hipsâand you couldnât get enough of him. When he finally pulled back, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other.
âStay,â he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.
You nodded, your heart pounding as he kissed you again, softer this time but no less intense. It wasnât just passionâit was connection, something youâd felt from the moment you met but hadnât been able to put into words until now.
Noel pulled you closer, his hands sliding down to your hips as he guided you onto his lap. The weight of his hands was grounding and electric all at once, like youâd been waiting for this moment longer than you realized. His lips didnât leave yours for a second, kissing you with the kind of hunger that made the world outside his room blur into nothing.
âYouâre summat else, yâknow that?â he murmured against your lips, his voice low and gravelly. His hands splayed over your thighs, the warmth of his touch seeping through the thin fabric of your dress. âGot me all worked upâcanât think straight.â
You let out a shaky laugh, your fingers tangling in his hair as you kissed him again. âI could say the same about you.â
He grinned against your mouth, and you felt his grip tighten, grounding you against him. âGood. About time someone got through to me.â
His lips trailed from your mouth to your jawline, then down to your neck, where he pressed a series of slow, deliberate kisses that made you shiver. Your head tilted back instinctively, giving him more access, and he took full advantage, his teeth grazing your skin just enough to leave a pleasant ache behind.
âIs this alright?â he asked softly, his voice almost a whisper.
You nodded, your breath catching as you whispered back, âMore than alright.â
That was all the encouragement he needed. His hands roamed freely now, sliding up your back and down your sides, tracing the contours of your body like he was trying to memorize every inch of you. He pulled you impossibly closer, and you could feel the tension in his body, the way he was holding himself back just enough to make sure you were still with him.
âGod, youâre beautiful,â he said, his words muffled against your skin. It was an unguarded moment, one that felt more like a confession than a compliment, and it sent your heart racing even faster.
You cupped his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you. âSo are you,â you said simply, your voice steady despite the way your body hummed with anticipation.
That seemed to unravel something in him. He kissed you again, deeper this time, his hands tangling in your hair as if he never wanted to let you go. The way he touched you was careful but insistent, like he was caught between savoring the moment and giving in to the urgency building between you.
âSay somethinâ smart now, eh?â he teased breathlessly, his forehead resting against yours. âAll that wit earlierâgone quiet on me now, havenât you?â
You couldnât help but laugh, your hands sliding under the hem of his shirt to trace the lines of his stomach. âYouâre one to talk. Werenât you supposed to be the eloquent one?â
He raised an eyebrow, his smirk returning even as his breathing hitched under your touch. âGuess Iâm a bit distracted. Canât imagine why.â
He pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes dark with something between affection and pure want.
Time seemed to slow, every moment etched into your memory as you lost yourselves in each other. His shirt hit the floor, your dress following soon after, and then it was just the two of you, unguarded and vulnerable in a way youâd never experienced before. His lips trailed along your collarbone, his stubble brushing against your skin and leaving a pleasant ache in its wake. Your nails traced the lines of his back, pulling him closer, silently urging him on.
He paused for a moment, his forehead resting against yours as he caught his breath. âYouâre sure?â he asked, his voice softer now, the teasing edge replaced by genuine care.
You cupped his face in your hands, your thumbs brushing over the faint lines at the corners of his eyes. âNever been more sure,â you whispered, your voice steady even as your heart raced.
That was all he needed, the moments that followed were a blur of sensation, his hands gripping your hips, the warmth of his skin against yours, the way his name slipped from your lips in a breathless whisper. He moved with a deliberate intensity, as though he wanted to draw this out for as long as possible, to savor every second.
The couch creaked beneath you as you shifted together, the air in the room thick with the mingling sounds of your shared breaths and quiet gasps. Every touch, every kiss, felt like an unspoken promise, a silent declaration of everything youâd both been holding back. It was intoxicating, the way he looked at you like you were the only person in the world, the way he made you feel like you were finally exactly where you were meant to be.
Eventually, the passion gave way to a quiet stillness, the room settling around you both. Noelâs arm draped over you as you lay on the couch, your head resting on his chest. His heartbeat was steady beneath your ear, a comforting rhythm that grounded you as you tried to catch your breath.
For a moment, neither of you spoke, the reality of what just happened sinking in. Noelâs hand moved lazily along your back, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin.
âWell,â he said finally, his voice low and laced with a hint of his usual humor, âthat wasnât in the script.â
You laughed, the sound muffled against his chest. âPretty sure it was better than anything in the script.â
He chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. âNot gonna argue with that.â
Silence settled over you again, but this time it was comfortable, a shared understanding passing between you without the need for words. You knew this wasnât just a momentary lapse, something to be brushed off when the sun rose. This was something moreâsomething neither of you had expected, but both of you were more than ready to explore.
Noel shifted slightly, his fingers tilting your chin up so he could look at you. âYou alright, love?â he asked, his tone soft, almost hesitant.
You nodded, your smile genuine. âBetter than alright.â
His lips quirked into a lopsided grin. âGood. âCause youâve just gone and ruined me, yâknow.â
You raised an eyebrow, your laughter bubbling up again. âMe? Ruined you? Thatâs rich coming from youâ
He smirked, pulling you closer. âYeah, yeah. Keep talkinâ like that, and Iâll ruin you all over again.â
The playful edge to his voice sent a thrill through you, but before you could respond, he kissed you again, slower this time, savoring the moment. When he finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, his eyes closing briefly.
You stayed like that for a while, wrapped up in each other, neither of you in any hurry to leave the small world youâd created together.
_________________________________________________________
my 'angin brainâs come up with this just for you lot. Thought Iâd make the grown-up bit a bit more sensual, a bit more romantic with less filthy detail (not that I don't support filthy detail). Let me know what you thought, me dirty celestial beings xx
and cheers to whoever requested this, hope you liked it, and it was at least close to what you wanted to see x
#noel gallagher x reader#noel gallagher x f!reader#oasis x reader#noel gallagher x you#oasis one shots#oasis band#noel gallagher one shots
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with you in a distorted fairy tale àŒ»Âš*:·.
'dark if ' chapter 2 - elbert greetia
<- Chapter 1
This is a fan translation and may not be 100% accurate. I do not own anything. Cybird reserves the right of ownership for all in-game content.
author's note: Throughout this story, Kate refers to Elbert with feminine pronouns ćœŒć„ł, and Elbert's title is the Queen ć„łç. Therefore, in sentences where Elbert is the main subject, sometimes you will see Elbert's pronouns listed as she/her. (i.e, "Elbert removed her hands"). This may be a bit confusing to read through, but I wanted to keep the translation as accurate and close to the original material as possible.
Mirror Alfons: I've come to see the Princes gathered here--... Ah, no well, to see what was going on, but...
Mirror Alfons: My dear Elbert and Miss Kate, why on earth are you two so exhausted?
Mirror Alfons: Not to mention, I don't even see any Princes around.
Kate: Ah, those who came here all posed some type of problem, so we've asked each and every one of them to leave.
Some of them actually went after Queen Elbert, others were after the gold and silver treasures of this castle, and still others were only interested in picking up the maids.
To top it all off, the moment I was alone with a suitor, he tried to attack me.... the list just goes on and on.
Queen Elbert: All the men we called here today have been rejected.
Mirror Alfons: My goodness, what an utter failure. Well, at least Miss Kate seems somewhat alright.
Kate: Whenever there was a problem, Queen Elbert would step in.
Queen Elbert: I didn't think a single one of those men would make you more beautiful.....
Kate: Exactly! Yes, thank you Queen Elbert...
If I thanked him, Elbert would smile at me.
To be honest, I don't remember any of the faces of the men I met today. Elbert's smile was just so dazzling... I was sure I'd never forget it.....
Mirror Alfons: Oh my... you two are staring at each other quite passionately. You two must have become quite close, no?
Mirror Alfons: Why, when I picked you up, you had all your hair standing on their ends, much like a stray cat.
Kate: Well... when you took me in, I mistakenly thought that Queen Elbert was a scary person.
I was wary of Elbert because there was a possibility that he would harm me, just like the true fairy tale story.
Kate: But, after spending more time with her, it became very apparent that Queen Elbert is a nice and kind person.
Kate: How could I not fall in love.... with someone like Elbert?
Queen Elbert: .....thank you, Kate.
Kate: It would be amazing if Elbert was actually a prince...
Since Lady Elbert was a Queen, that would be impossible. And if someone as wonderful as she were to appear before me, I would choose him as my prince with no hesitation.
I mumbled these thoughts to myself....
Queen Elbert: Thank you Kate.... to be admired in such a way, by you.... makes me happy.
Queen Elbert: And... the way you are trying so earnestly to find your prince, makes you seem radiant....
Queen Elbert: I feel like I'm getting closer to finding the most beautiful thing in the world that I desire.
I was once again captivated by a happy Elbert's exquisite smile.
(...aahhh no! I have to find my prince! I don't have any time to be attracted to the Queen!)
I was desperate to calm my pounding heart, which was beating wildly on its own.
Kate: Ahem, well.. In any case, I'll try my best to find my prince again starting tomorrow.
--time skip--
The search for the Prince lasted several days, only to end with fruitless results.
Queen Elbert: Let's take a break from searching for princes today.
While finishing breakfast, Elbert spoke up.
Kate: Yeah, we should... we won't find anyone at all if it keeps up at this rate.
(If this is the turn out so far, then no doubt what is missing from this story is the Prince.)
(To straighten out the story, I think it would be best to find someone to just fill in as the "missing Prince".)
(The Prince huh.....)
I unconsciously looked over at Elbert, who was having breakfast at the opposite side of the table.
(No, noo... She is a Queen!! She can't be a prince!!!!....)
Queen Elbert: ....Kate? You look gloomy.... is something wrong?
Kate: No not at all! It's just troubling, not being able to find the Prince.
(It was such a shame that Elbert couldn't become the Prince... and more so that I can't say that out loud.)
I put on a silly smile to cover up my thoughts.
After studying my face for some time, Elbert softly spoke.
Queen Elbert: Since we are not searching for princes today... I would be delighted if you join me in browsing for new clothes for you. If you'd like...
--after the tailor brings a catalogue--
Kate: Waaaoow!
After breakfast, Elbert showed me to a room filled with dresses and jewelry.
Tailor: Thank you very much for your order this time.
Tailor: We have a ride range of items today, from trendy articles to designs that have been loved for ages.
Tailor: Please let us know if you need help in trying on any of the items.
Kate: Heheh... Lady Elbert, anything here would look good on you!
Queen Elbert: Ah, no, not now... Today, I am choosing your new dress.
Kate: M- mine?!
Queen Elbert: A new dress will surely help you find your prince.
Queen Elbert: Plus, I thought this would be a nice change of pace for you...
(Oh... I think Elbert is trying to cheer me up because I'm feeling down since I can't find a prince.)
(.....what an extremely kinda person...)
Kate: Aah.. thank you so very much, Elbert!!
Kate: Since this is a rare opportunity, I'll take you up on your offer!
My heart is filled with Elbert's consideration for me, and just thinking about it makes me feel better.
Then, after looking at some dresses with Elbert, I decided to buy one that I particularly liked.
Queen Elbert: ....just one dress?
Kate: Yes, and it's plenty! Thank you for everything.
To treat me, Snow White, so very well.... Queen Elbert is certainly different from the Queen of the original story.
(Maybe this... is a direct consequence of the distorted fairy tale?)
As long as I could remain by the kind Elbert's side, maybe I would be alright staying trapped here...
I then shook my head to clear away the selfish thoughts that crossed my mind.
Kate: By the way, why don't you pick out a new dress too, Lady Elbert?
Kate: Or next time, please allow me to find one for you!
Queen Elbert: Oh, no I-......
Elbert lowered her eyes in confusion, but I think she was just being reserved.
I looked around the room at all the dresses lined up. Then-
Kate: Look, what about this one, Elbert? I think this would look great on you.
Tailor: Ah- pardon me for intruding but... Miss.. that clothing is for men..
Tailor: Even though the Queen is indeed the type of person that could look good in anything, this is... a bit...
Kate: Eh?! *looks at the clothing she is holding* A-aaahh yes... you are very right.... please excuse what I said!
(Truly, the outfit I chose is clearly a man's outfit from every angle.....) [1]
[1] Here, signs are showing of Alfons's power weakening and Kate getting confused at what is true/what she is seeing. She is outwardly agreeing that Elbert is a woman, but her instincts sense and feel Elbie to be a man.
(Why exactly did I think this would suit Elbert so well??)
(Even though Elbert is clearly a "woman".)
Queen Elbert: Kate. I appreciate your thoughts, but I like my current clothes, so I don't think... I need anything new....
Kate: Oh is that so..
Queen Elbert: I'm so sorry.. even though you took the time to choose something...
Kate: Oh no! Sorry for being so intrusive...
In the end, Elbert only bought a dress for me, and nothing for herself.
--after dinner--
When returning to my room after eating dinner, Alfons called out to me.
Mirror Alfons: I heard that, apparently, you were trying to buy some men's clothes for Elbert.
Kate: Oh.. at that time, I thought those men's clothes would look good on her.
Kate: ..... That's strange, isn't it? Lady Elbert is a beautiful woman......
Mirror Alfons: Yes, that is strange indeed. "Lady Elbert is a beautiful woman."
As he agreed with my sentiment, Alfons removed his gloves and stroked the back of my neck.
Kate: ....? What.. what was that, suddenly....
Mirror Alfons: You started speaking strangely, so strangely that I thought you had a fever.... alas, your temperature was normal.
Kate: Normally, you don't check the temperature for a fever at the nape of the neck....
Although I was confused by Alfons's behavior, ultimately it was Elbert that occupied all the space in my mind.
Kate: ...Alfons, why is it that Elbert collects beautiful things?
Mirror Alfons: That's an easy question to answer, though, well.. I'm not sure if I should answer it.
Kate: Hmm, as I thought.....
Mirror Alfons: *unsettled* 'As you thought'...?
Kate: When Elbert says she likes collecting beautiful things, she sounds desperate and... painful...
Kate: It didn't seem like she was just collecting things just because she liked to.
It almost felt like she was forcing herself into a corner and exacting punishment by having to find something beautiful.
Kate: So, I'm glad to know there are at least some circumstances as to why it's difficult to say so..
Kate: I will be sure not to ask Elbert herself why she collects them...
Mirror Alfons: And so, you decided to ask me beforehand.
Kate: Yes. I was sure even attempting to bring it up would hurt Elbert's feelings.
Mirror Alfons: .......
Mirror Alfons: ..........maybe you can heal El's wounds.
Kate: ...what?
Mirror Alfons: ..I've changed my mind. Let me show you.. the truth.
Saying that, Alfons handed me a key.
--scene switch--
I went to the location Alfons told me about and used the key to open the door.
(What hides in the basement of this castle...?)
Alfons told me to use the key to get into this room, but nothing more.
(I guess one can tell just by looking at it but... it's freezing cold down here..)
Rubbing my numb hands together, I had walked a few steps into the stone room when I spotted something.
(Is that... a coffin?)
In the center of the room was a gorgeous coffin made of glass.
(In the original story, the one in the glass coffin is supposed to be Snow White.... me...)
I was almost frightened at the scene, but I managed to endure it and take another step, peering into the coffin.
(Who is inside this...?)
The coffin bed was covered in flowers and a woman was lying on top of it.
(An extremely beautiful woman...)
And I was sure she was dead, for she wasn't moving at all.
It was so beautiful that I lost all sense of being scared.
(But why is there a body in Queen Elbert's castle...?)
Queen Elbert: ...Who is there?
Kate: ..!!!
Queen Elbert: Kate...? Why? Why are you here..??
Seeing me standing in front of the coffin, Queen Elbert's face stiffened.
Kate: Th-.. well that's... I-.. Alfons gave me this key, and then I...
Queen Elbert: Al, huh...
Kate: Elbert... who is this woman?
<- Chapter 1 Premium End -> coming soon
page dividers by @/adornedwithlight
#ikemen villains#cybird ikemen#ikemen series#ikevil#elbert greetia#ikemen villains elbert#ikevil elbert#yandere#fairytale#fairy tale#fairycore#ikevil story event#ikevil translations#alternate universe#snow white#ikevil alfons#alfons sylvatica
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pairing â jiwoong x afab!reader
synopsis â jiwoong is tired after his busy schedule, but at least he has a warm bed to come home to.
genre/rating â smut
word count â 0.7k
notes â i originally wrote this for heesung, but it got like 200 notes and they were all likes and that really got on my nerves đ so please reblog or comment đ« it really means a lot
warnings â smut, consensual somnophilia, unprotected sex, orgasm (m)
MDNI 18+ BLOG -> ageless blogs and minors WILL BE BLOCKED
If Jiwoong was being completely honest with himself, his job was incredibly exhausting. Countless hours of being on his feet going back and forth from schedule to schedule could be a lot to handle sometimes. And it used to be the case where he would return to his dorm and drown himself in mindless activities to wind down. Never anything of substance and always just for the sake of mind-numbing entertainment.Â
But after youâd started dating, you often offered for him to come over to your place when he was done with his schedules. You knew it would be a healthier way for him to unwind. It was only 2 months after youâd started sleeping together that youâd given him a house key.
And youâd told him as you gave him the key that he was free to slip into your bed whenever he wanted.Â
Heâd smiled, âOk baby,â and he pecked you on the lips.
You shook your head. He didnât get it. âNoâŠI meanâŠâ you ran a hand down his chest, âYou can do whatever you want with meâŠeven if Iâm already asleep.â
His eyes had widened, âFucking hellâŠâ he groaned, âAre you sure?â
You reassured him multiple times over the course of a couple weeks, too. Heâd brought it up a couple more times for clarification and specifics. And every time youâd reassure him that you trusted him and remind him that you wanted this too.Â
And tonight he was feeling the mental fatigue extra hard. His feet hurt and his brain just wanted to shut off completely. When he quietly slipped into your bedroom he was greeted by the wonderful sight of you curled up in your bed in just a pair of underwear and a loose fitting tank top that did very little to actually cover any of your chest.
He changed quickly before slipping into bed behind you, watching as your shoulders rose and fell with your even breaths. The lace top you wore was loose around your waist, so he easily slid a hand under it and caressed the skin. And was perfectly content with this. Just running his fingers over your skin. Watching as goosebumps formed at his touch.Â
But when you leaned back into him, grinding your ass into him, he froze. Sure you had given him explicit permission, but it just felt soâŠwrong. But that honestly just made him harder, and just the sight of you so helpless and unaware was enough for him to forget about all of his hesitations.
When he pulled your panties aside, you were already so fucking wet. He smirked, running his fingers through your folds, âBaby had some fun without me,â he whispered.
His patience was barely holding on, though. He slipped his cock into you. Slowly sliding himself in until he bottomed out. His thrusts were so so slow. Pushing himself in carefully and pulling out so he could drag his cock along your walls.Â
You were still fully asleep, letting out little hums and moans. He couldnât help but wonder if you were dreaming of him. Dreaming of his cock deep in your pussy and his mouth covering your chest in marks.Â
He wondered if he could make you cum like this. Make you cum in your sleep. But that didnât really matter at this point. Because he was getting closer and closer with every movement he made. He buried his face in your neck, deeply inhaling and groaning at how good you smelt.Â
âShitââ he groaned lowly into your neck. He pushed himself fully into you one more time before he came. Making sure that he filled you up completely. When he finally finished cumming, he didnât pull out. Instead, he stayed inside you. Feeling your pulsing pussy around his incredibly sensitive cock.Â
You started to shift and your eyelids started fluttering, so he ran a hand over your hair and coaxed you back to sleep. âShhâŠshh baby. Iâll take care of you,â he was never getting over this, âGo back to sleep.â
#jiwoong smut#kim jiwoong smut#jiwoong x reader#kim jiwoong x reader#kim jiwoong x reader smut#zb1 smut#zb1 x reader#zb1 x reader smut#*à©â©â§âË dj's work#*à©â©â§âË jiwoong#*à©â©â§âË smut
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dont feel like shouting my struggles over on the other app so here we go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pix dod it again!!! thought this would be a fun idea and not that hard at all! but noooooo everything is a Struggle hahahahahaha but i am so Committed To The Bit i will finish it,
#pix suffering#when u draw for like 7 hrs and only just lined one thing#Help#i surprise myself with my. Stubborness to finish things thruâŠ#we be doing bgs animations now here i am replicating a drastically different art style like 7 more times#um help its not all fullbodies at least but Still#like im Going To Die#how do i even finish anything at this rate#AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! its 10pm so thats enough drawing ig#i wish i had the stubborness to actually finish a longer comic tho lmao#but i can never get much farther than the opening#ah well i. am mostly satisfied with. the lines orz orz orz#SLOWEST ARTIST IN THE WORLD RIGHT HE RE#I FORGOR TO DRINK WATER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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i really need to stop staying up late when my intrusive thoughts come up again, they always get worse at night. i wanted to do some writing, but i procrastinated too long and now i feel too bad and when i tried, i couldn't focus. so i'm gonna try and go to bed.
#friday chats#just. not doing great all around. lots of ups and downs in my mood.#i'm literally so close to finishing this oneshot but it might be another couple weeks before it's ready at this rate :/#sorry about that. i really want to complete it and i promise i'm trying#my mind's just been really funky lately and i don't know why#probably bc i'm still sort of sick. i hope it goes away soon#also i feel like i always have to clarify#i'm not upset that i'm disappointing readers by not posting anything#i'm upset because it takes me forever to write things#and i have a bajillion ideas that i really want to share but i'm just. so bad at completing creative projects#i'm worried that my interest in tma will wane before i finish them all like what happened with hermitcraft and double trouble#and if that happens i'll just be plagued with all these stories that never came to fruition#not to mention i really really really want to be a published author#and if i can hardly even finish oneshots how am i supposed to complete a book manuscript#let alone several; like the series i have in mind#it's just. a lot. easy to spiral down. it makes me feel bad.#anyway i'm gonna actually go to bed now. wahoo
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work anxiety starting before work itself hahahahaahahahahahahhhaha
#IM BAKCIJ THE FUCKIGN BUIDLIGN .AGAIN. AUSUSUXHEHWHGLHKF#im grateful i have an internship for this summer with the way the job market is like currently.#im grateful that i have the opportunity to lessen the burden on my parents shoulders. im grateful that this job can pay rent and groceries#and tuition for a few terms im grateful i get to gain experience while still in school that will hekp me in the future#IM GRATEFUL FOR ALL THIS!!!!! BUT STILL I FUCLING HATE EVERYTHJGN#i hate being unable to eat anything ir sleep at night bc all i can think about is shit i have work tomorrow i have to email this guy and#finish these tasks and impress my manager and be approachable and enthusiastic and eager to learn and not make any mistakes#and not fail anything bc im getting graded on this its alwags grades its always the fucking grades#isnt it. it was the grades that had me crying on walks home from school when i was 9 and it was grades that made me waste away 9th grade#it was grades that made me unable to stomach anything during weeks with tests and it was and is still grades that#dictate every single fucking part of my life#and even tho the ppl who used to yell at me for getting a B in math in 5th grade are no longer yelling at me for getting 60s in linear algeb#ra and stats and calculus and cs#haha.ha when ur university is famous for its.. horribly high suicdie rates#i find that the yelling comes from me now. ive replaced the adults who would sit beside me at the dinner table#yelling bc yea guess what 8 year old me didnt understand division at first#god i hate this school so much. i hate what im studying im gratefula nd am so privileged to be ahle to further my educarion and receive#all these experiences mot everyone can have but god everytime i return to the city where the school is#i feel like throwing up and sobbing and just never ipening my eyes again#haha yea. i hope i csn get a job to support myself in the future#i hope i can still have time for hobbies#why si everyone at school so good at everything#ive met more people who have passed their rcm 10 and arct exams for piano than those who havent#i have classes with people who have already published research papers with professors in the states#my classmates can breeze through a cs assignment while still playing fir varisty teams. working out everyday. goijg ti parties.#eating and cooking balsnced meals each week. having a social life..the whole combo#meanwhile i get overwhelmed because i have to respond to an email and finish an assignment in one day#how do i become like them#why was this about work anxiety at first and why is it about the eternal imposter syndrome and lack of self confidence#i just want money man... i dont give a shit about snything anymore
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desperately trying to remember if there are any books i read this year that i cannot find on my library borrowing history or simply cannot remember. i am so bad about remembering books. LITERALLY REMEMBERED ONE AS I'M WRITING THIS POST. anyway i am attempting to compile a list of books that i've read this year so that i can reference it without having to forget everything. wish me luck. i have fifteen titles on there right now but i can't shake the feeling there's something i'm forgetting
#checking my shelf of books i got for school??? idk#none of this is helped by the way that i have seven thousand books waiting to be read right now and all of them are on my mind#and several of them i am partway through. but i cannot put bell hooks all about love on my list yet i just can't#opened this is how you lose the time war today. not liking it super much but it's not even 200 pages so we'll pound through it#and then my three books from merc (princess bride and two books from the fight club guy)#and all about love. and interview with the vampire#WITCHER NOVELS!!! I READ WITCHER NOVELS AGAIN!!!! adding two more books to my list#god i'm not even through blood of elves yet. awful. this is why i can't keep anything up i forget my ebooks exist as options#then i should read that book about eleanor roosevelt that my grandma got me. as a token to her dskfjghs#wanna reread the hours! have a physical copy just for that so i can annotate#gotta finish the once and future king.#all that to say that there are many books that will be on this list once i actually sit down and read some of them#have to remind myself that i Am actually doing good i'm at over a book a month rate. this is fine#two books a month rate! actually!#shout out to library due dates for being a fantastic motivator#seventeen books on the 'read' list this year. this is fine bracken. you're doing good#realistically this is SO much better than previous years đ good stuff. just gotta keep reading#valentine notes#list that would have been so useful to have when we were doing that book recommendation thing
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not according to plan | hjs
summary: your ex-fiance is getting married and everyone you know is going to be there. when he calls to ask if you're coming, you accidentally mention a boyfriend. which would be fine, if you weren't very single. thankfully your best friend comes through with the perfect solution when he sets you up with a friend of his. what could possibly go wrong?
pairing: joshua x f.reader genre: fake dating, strangers to friends to ?? | fluff, slight angst, smut rating: explicit, minors DNI word count: ~22.1k notes/warnings: johnny suh as the ex-fiancee (sorry, he's not great in this), other idols born in '95 used as background characters, mentions of past cheating, food & alcohol, lots of "dates", reader is referenced as coming from a rich family, mention of being an escort (minus the sex?) smut warnings: making out, multiple smut scenes (kind of, it could be a continuation), multiple orgasms, teasing, they're both v obsessed with each other's bodies, protected sex, fingering, nipple play, oral sex (f. receiving), scratching/marking, squirting, overstimulation, use of lube, i think that's it (but let me know if it's not)
author's note: this fic is dedicated to the lovely @shuadotcom, i'm so sorry it took me literal months to finish fake dating!joshua but here we are anyway. i'm not sure how this one got so away from me either lmao. banner credit to the beautiful @wongyuseokie who (again) did this very last minute. thank you to @wonwussy & @kwanisms for the mid-fic beta. thank you to @wooahaeproductions, @horanghater, @cheolism, & @hannieween for listening to me talk about this and helping with things like petnames & dates.
taglist at the end (& join my permanent taglist here)
âItâs fine, itâs been years and Iâm over it. Plus, Iâve been seeing someone anyway and heâs great. So I wasnât ignoring your invite,â you say without a second thought.Â
Itâs just a stream of consciousness. The lie comes flying out of your mouth faster than your brain can process it. Thatâs exactly what it is, too. A lie. Youâre not seeing anyone and havenât been in a serious relationship since the person on the other end of the call broke your heart.Â
âOh, wow, sorry, I didnât mean toâŠwell, I didnât know. My mom didnât say anything when she said she had spoken to your mom about whether or not you were coming to the wedding,â Johnny says with a little bit of ramble.Â
âYou know how my mom can be, I havenât had the chance to tell her yet,â you deflect.Â
âIâm happy for you, then,â Johnny says.Â
âThanks, Iâm happy for you, too,â you force out. Somehow, it doesnât sound like the lie you know that it is.
âSo, itâs not weird, then? I mean our moms are best friends, so the rest of your family is all going to be there. A lot of your friends will be there. I know you havenât RSVPâd yet, butâŠâ Johnny starts.
âNope! Not weird at all,â you utter, hoping that your voice sounds even. âItâd be weirder if I wasnât there, right?âÂ
âProbably, yeah,â Johnny says. âThatâs great, though. Do you want me to mark you down as a yes? I can even add a plus-one, if you want to bring your partner.âÂ
âThatâs so thoughtful, but I wouldnât want to put you out. I know how expensive weddings can be,â you say and try to sound sincere.
âNo, itâs no issue, actually. We have a few extra seats that we left just in case we forgot someone or didnât know about someoneâs partner,â Johnny presses. âSo weâll see you both there?â
âYeah, you will,â you hurry out. This conversation needs to be over.Â
Itâs only an hour after hanging up with your ex-fiancee that your mom calls to tell you she canât believe she had to hear it from Mrs. Suh that youâre dating someone. Which includes a whole lot of deflecting and promises about when she can meet this mystery man. Another twenty minutes after you hang up with your mom, you get a pointed text from your younger sister. The two of you havenât ever been all that close, so she shouldnât be surprised that you havenât mentioned him. She made her side pretty clear when she maintained her friendship with Johnnyâs new fiancĂ©e. That new fiancee, a close friend of your sisters, also just so happened to be the girl he cheated on you with. So, she can hardly expect to have a close sister bond. Yet, she seems oddly suspicious that she didnât know you were seeing someone seriously.Â
Your quiet Saturday afternoon turns into a full blown headache all thanks to one call from the asshole that you really thought you left in the past. Of course, now is the perfect time for him to pop back up. Now, when youâre even between any sort of casual sex. Now, when you donât even have someone that you can call up to pretend to date you. This is going to be one of the worst calls that you have to make when you have to admit you made it all up, that you will absolutely not be showing your face at the wedding, and you will also be changing your name before moving away.
For now, you do the only thing that you can think of doing. You call the only person that can give you any perspective on this whole fucking disaster.Â
âWell hello,â your best friend answers.Â
âJeonghan, I fucked up,â you say without preamble.Â
âThis is gonna be good,â he responds.Â
âI just got off the phone with my mom,â you begin.
âWhat did she want?â he asks, knowing that it wonât be anything good.
âWell, you know, to talk about this new boyfriend of mine,â you continue.
âYou havenât dated anyone in forever,â Jeonghan chuckles.Â
âThank you for that,â you snark. âAnd then, of course, I get a text from my perfect sister wondering why sheâs also just hearing about this boyfriend of mine.âÂ
âWhy do your sister and your mom think youâre dating someone?â Jeonghan asks.
âOh, well, you know. Johnny called today,â you offer.
âFuck that guy,â Jeonghan interjects.
âHe wanted to know why I hadnât responded to his wedding invite and assumed it was awkward because I was single, so I told him I was seeing someone,â you finally finish.
âFor fuckâs sake,â Jeonghan says into the silence and you can imagine his face.
âRight? My life is a fucking mess and now Johnny thinks that Iâm bringing my boyfriend,â you groan.
âIâll start planning the story for why you suddenly left town,â Jeonghan says.Â
âFor real, my life is over,â you whine.
âWhat are you gonna do?â Jeonghan asks softly.Â
This is really why you called him. Jeonghan is a shithead, sometimes, and he can be a bit of a chaos demon. He also can be a bit of a schemer, especially when it comes to winning a game. But, heâs unfailingly kind and caring to the people he holds dear. He absolutely hates getting into any kind of real conflict with his friends. Thereâs that whole side to him that honestly wouldnât hurt a fly and always has a way to comfort. Thatâs the side that you get now.Â
âI donât know,â you answer, voice just as quiet. âIâm justâŠI donât want to let him win, you know?â
And Jeonghan does know. Youâve been friends since before you started dating Johnny. Even though he never liked him, Jeonghan supported you in your relationship. When Johnny proposed, he called your other friends and set up the best engagement party anyone could ask for. From the outside, nobody would ever know that he hated your partner. Honestly, heâs the best friend anyone in the world could ask for.Â
Before he got around to setting up the bridal shower, which heâd been quietly planning for months, your whole world turned upside down. Johnny cheated, had been cheating awhile, actually, and Jeonghan was there to pick up the pieces. Somehow, he was the only one that seemed to make it better, probably because he didnât want to act like things were okay when they werenât. It was easy to cry in front of him, easy to be vulnerable, easy to just let the process play out so you could heal. Even though he never liked Johnny, he also didnât say he told you so. This had never been something that crossed his mind.Â
âOkay, youâre gonna hate it, but I have an idea,â Jeonghan says.
âThose are never comforting words coming from you,â slips out of your mouth.
âUsually Iâd yell at you, butâŠâ he trails off.Â
âI swear, if youâre about to say that we pretend to be dating like some romcom, I will hang up the phone,â you warn.
âFirst of all, thatâs rude, Iâm a great boyfriend,â Jeonghan says.Â
âI never said you werenât, Hannie, you know I think youâre gorgeous,â you sigh.Â
âThatâs true, I am,â Jeonghan says through a laugh.
âBut, I also know you remember what an unmitigated disaster it was when we fucked,â you point out, earning an even louder laugh.Â
âWow, and here I thought that it was actually great sex,â he says.Â
âIâm not gonna keep stroking your ego, I already admitted you were gorgeous. I donât need to praise the sex, too,â you declare.
âStroking myâŠcome on, youâre making it too easy,â Jeonghan points out.
âFunny, because I remember you being the easy one that night,â you say, finally managing to get a shot in.
âI hate you,â Jeonghan snorts.Â
âI know,â you answer. âDidnât you say that you had an idea?âÂ
Jeonghan clears his throat. âRight, yeah. Well, I know this guy and maybe he can help you out.âÂ
âWhat is he, an escort?â you snort out.
âDo you want my help or not?â Jeonghan asks.
âYoon Jeonghan, are you about to set me up with an escort?â you challenge.
âNo, of course not, just trust me,â he says.
Just trust me might be the three most terrifying words that could come out of Jeonghanâs mouth, especially when youâre not usually on the receiving end of his schemes. Itâs not like you have much choice, though. The wedding is in six weeks and you have to find a solution, fast. So, what choice do you have other than trusting your best friend? How could this go wrong?Â
You still think this is a terrible idea, yet agree to meet Jeonghanâs friend, Joshua, anyway. Apparently, heâs somewhat new to the area, doesnât know many people, and is incredibly easy to be around. Thereâs no mention of why Jeonghan thinks he might be willing to pretend to be your boyfriend. A part of you wonders if your friend even told him, but heâs not that cruel. So, whatever the case, Joshua must at least have some idea of what heâs walking into.Â
Several days pass between the nightmare of a call from Johnny and you actually meeting Joshua, which only adds to your anxiety about whether or not this is going to work. Johnny is asking for a name for the seating chart and for dinner selections. Your mom wants to know when theyâll be able to meet this new boyfriend before the wedding (because âmeeting him for the first time at a wedding is gaucheâ and we wouldnât want that). Your sister is convinced that he doesnât actually exist since you havenât posted him on social media. That you can at least answer to say that not everyone posts their entire life online like she does. It doesnât seem to allay her suspicions, though.Â
Then, thereâs the fact that youâre actually meeting Joshua for the first time at dinner. All you wanted was to go for coffee, yet he insisted. You couldnât exactly press the point. Not when youâre planning to ask this stranger to pretend to date you just so that you can avoid the embarrassment at your exâs wedding. On top of that, because Jeonghan really is a demon at his core, you donât know what Joshua looks like. Donât know who to look for. Which leads to you doing the only sensible thing and showing up 5 minutes late for dinner, hoping that heâll already be at the table when you get there.
It works.
When you give the reservation name at the host stand, youâre immediately led back to a table. Without even thinking about it, you smooth your hands down the front of your dress, looking for a small amount of comfort in this situation. Itâs not even that you struggle around new people, this is justâŠwell, itâs a lot. Itâs out of anyoneâs comfort zone. Whatever youâre expecting, itâs not the man sitting at the table the host leads you to. He nearly stops you in your tracks.Â
His black hair is perfectly styled down to the pieces on one side that come down over his forehead. The black dress shirt he wears is open at least one button too many, but he makes the exposed chest look work in a way models would envy. Even though his pants are black as well, he makes it look classic and effortless, rather than too dark. Thatâs all without even acknowledging the soft smile on his face. This man would break a thousand hearts without even saying a damn word. While youâre appreciating him, you miss the way his eyes rake over you appreciatively. Miss the way his eyes trace your curves and the way the dress clings to you.Â
In one fluid motion, heâs standing up to greet you, a gentle kiss placed on your cheek. Is it weird if your knees are a little weak? Well, even if it is, thereâs nothing you can do. Youâre completely captivated.Â
âYou must be Joshua,â you say. Brilliant, you think. Thatâs obvious.
âItâs nice to meet you. Jeonghan had nothing but good things to say,â he answers with another smile as he pulls your seat out for you.Â
âI feel like he hardly told me about you,â you respond. Joshua raises a perfect eyebrow at that.
âThen why did you agree to go out with me?â Joshua asks.Â
âGo out withâŠis this a date?â The question comes tumbling out.Â
Joshuaâs eyes widen in genuine confusion. âIs it not?âÂ
âWhat, exactly, did Jeonghan say to you?âÂ
A lot and nothing at all, it turns out. Joshua tells you about how heâs somewhat new to the area, which you knew. About how he met Jeonghan through work, kind of. They work in the same building doing very different things and happened to run into each other getting coffee a handful of times before Jeonghan introduced himself. The two had hung out several times, something Jeonghan had not really mentioned, and gotten to know each other over drinks more than once. The very first time, Jeonghan had mentioned you and Joshua admits immediately being intrigued without pressing for more information.Â
In any case, Jeonghan talked about you pretty freely, a fact thatâs hardly surprising. Before Joshua texted you, Jeonghan had mentioned, in what Joshua calls an offhand way, that you were sick of dating the same people. According to Joshua, through Jeonghan, you were looking to possibly be set up. (Read: Jeonghan thinks heâs crafty and isnât going to come out and tell this man what youâre really looking for. Typical Jeonghan, honestly. You know that âoffhand commentâ was anything but. And you had the audacity to think Jeonghan would have to tell Joshua what heâs getting into. Rookie move.)
Now youâre in a bit of an awkward situation because this man is honestly gorgeous, one of the prettiest humans youâve ever met. And, already, he seems like he might be sweet with a pretty good sense of humor. Itâs justâŠwell, youâre absolutely not looking for a relationship and this is the last person you want to get involved in your mess. Thankfully, you get a moment to catch your breath when someone comes by to take a drink order and suggest an appetizer. Itâs just enough time for you to talk yourself into telling Joshua the real story.
To his credit, he only looks mildly surprised as you outline your whole situation, inform him that yes, Jeonghan does know all of this, and clarify why you didnât actually realize it was a date. Itâs hard to miss the way his eyes seem to sparkle a bit when you also admit that heâs absolutely stunning in a way that hurts your feelings. Easier to miss is the way his face barely falls when you say that youâre not actually looking for something right now. Interesting.Â
âSo thatâs the whole thing and now that Iâve embarrassed myself in front of you, Iâm sure youâll understand if we never see each other after tonight,â you finish.
âHow am I supposed to go to a wedding as your boyfriend in a matter of weeks if we donât see each other after tonight?â Joshua wonders.
âIâŠwhat?â you sputter out.Â
âWell, sure, we need to work out a few details, but Iâm game,â Joshua says with a shrug.
âIâm sorry, I think Iâm just really confused?â You donât even have food yet and this is already the most interesting date youâve been on, possibly ever.Â
âI, uh, may have left a part of my past out when I was sharing what Jeonghan knew about me,â Joshua says. âAnd honestly, I canât believe I didnât catch it or that he did this. Iâd be mad if I wasnât so impressed by how crafty it was.âÂ
âIâm going to need you to connect some dots for me,â you admit. âOh and also never tell Jeonghan you appreciate him being crafty. His ego is too big as it is.â
âThe first time Jeonghan and I hung out, we went out for drinks, got a little wasted, and I told him about how I got through my university studies without any debts,â Joshua says, pausing long enough for someone to set the appetizer down. âHeâs observant, Jeonghan, Iâll give him that. He noticed I had designer clothes, shoes, that kind of thing. And he noticed I didnât pay attention to the prices of the drinks. So I made a vague comment about being lucky to have found a way through my studies without taking out loans.â
âIâm sure he asked you about that, he loves it when he thinks thereâs a scheme,â you note with a smile.
âYouâre right about that,â Joshua agrees. âSo I, well I told him. When I was in school, I met this woman out one night and she paid me to go to events with her. She wanted, and these were her words, âsomeone young and hotâ with her. And the next four years, thatâs what I did. I let people pay for me to go to events with them. Never more than that. I was clear that I wasnât selling sex or anything, just company.âÂ
You lean back in your seat with an appraising look. âAn entrepreneur from the beginning.âÂ
âHey, no judgment,â Joshua says. All you can do is smile.
âIâm not judging, that was really smart and youâre obviously attractive enough for it,â you acknowledge.
âThank you,â Joshua says. It doesnât have the air of cockiness Jeonghanâs answer would. He actually seems sincere in accepting the compliment.Â
âBut, Iâm still not going to pay you to pretend to be my boyfriend,â you say, even if itâs a bit reluctant.Â
âI wasnât asking you to,â Joshua shrugs. âYou donât have to pay me.â
âWhy would you offer to pretend to do something like this? You donât even know me,â you point out.
âNo, I donât. But, you seem like a good person. And I like Jeonghan, heâs niceâŠâ Joshua says, stopping when you try to cover a scoff.Â
âNice?â you question when youâre caught.
âWrong word choice,â Joshua dismisses. âHe seems like the kind of person thatâs a loyal friend, like he would go into battle to protect you. Like someone you can actually trust.â
âHe is all of those things, yeah,â you admit.
âAnd if those things are true, then him holding you out as his best friend means youâre probably all of those things too,â Joshua reasons.Â
âI try to be,â you agree.Â
âPlus, Jeonghan did mention you had seriously dated someone that was pretty rich, so I figure itâs probably the guy getting married and itâll be a nice wedding,â Joshua says with a smile. The joke is obvious by the look in his eyes.
âItâs interesting that he mentioned Johnny, thatâs my ex, being rich,â you idly comment.
âIs he not?â Joshua wonders.
âJeonghan is a lot of things, but heâd never lie to his friends,â you answer first. âSo, yeah, he is. Well, his family is at least. His mom and mine run a lot of events together, like galas and shit. Thatâs how we all know each other.â
âAre you rich, too?â Joshua wonders. Thereâs that little twinkle of something in his eyes again, but thereâs also sincerity.
âIâm still not paying you,â you retort.
âFine,â Joshua agrees.Â
You roll your eyes. âOkay, so whatâs the plan?âÂ
Thereâs a weird worldâs colliding feeling to having both Jeonghan and Joshua in your apartment. But, Jeonghan doesnât like to be left out of things. Once you told him that you and Joshua both knew about his scheming, he offered to help in any way he could. Which is likely just so heâs included. Youâll take what you can get. Now, it means that he and Joshua are sitting on your couch, scrolling through pictures on Joshuaâs phone to decide what to include in an instagram post. Thatâs the first step you and Joshua agreed on. If youâre going to sell this whole fake relationship, then your sister actually is right. There has to be some sort of proof of it online. Which also means that your post has to talk about how youâve been keeping it quiet and just enjoying getting to know each other without any pressure. Jeonghan takes credit for that, even if you got there on your own.Â
âI think I like this one,â Jeonghan says and turns the phone around to show you.Â
âWhy that one?â you ask.Â
âWhy not? Donât you like it?â Joshua worries.
âI donât know, I feel like my hand is doing something weird,â you point out.
âYou look great,â Joshua assures you.
âOh, ew, youâre not really dating,â Jeonghan complains.Â
âYou do know youâre going to have to stop saying that, right?â you ask.
âMaybe I didnât know either,â Jeonghan shrugs.
âNo, Iâm with her, youâre her best friend and you definitely wouldâve known,â Joshua agrees.Â
âWhy are you on her side already?â Jeonghan whines.
âBecause sheâs cool and sheâs not the one who knew what I did in college and set me up,â Joshua says with a laugh.Â
This is how itâs been going for the last hour. Youâre not really much for putting a lot of effort into your posts, so this all feels like too much. But, you know that itâs important for it to feel real and itâs important to get it right. Youâre honestly pretty happy to just let the guys take the lead and go with the flow of it all. There are going to be plenty of opportunities for you to take the lead. Youâre going to take your breaks where you can.Â
(That had also meant not putting up too much of a fight when Jeonghan told you to bring multiple outfits with you. Or when you had to change your hairstyle and makeup between the photos so it looked like they hadnât all been taken the same day. Honestly, this was so much easier for Joshua. Then again, heâs the one doing you a favor. So maybe you can let him have it.)
After you finally get your couple pictures posted, and get a flurry of messages ranging from surprise to congratulations, you move onto preparing Joshua to meet your parents, your sister, and her husband. Jeonghan is actually a lot of help with that because heâs been around them a lot. Well, heâs helpful after he tries to scare Joshua about how intimidating itâs going to be only to give up when Joshua is unbothered. Heâs so calm about everything that itâs actually kind of nice to be around. And he has no problem firing back at Jeonghan, which is really fun to watch.Â
You go through what your parents are like, what they do both for work and as hobbies. Joshua perks up at the mention of your dad loving music and sometimes spending his weekends just exploring new venues. It seems like there might be more to that, though you donât press when he waves it off. Itâs different when you talk about your sister, two years younger and already married. Not that youâre dying to be married or even care that she got married before you. Thatâs always seemed like a weird societal expectation, anyway. What does it matter when anyone gets married? If itâs their right person, then it makes sense. You being upset over your failed engagement really doesnât have anything to do with your sisterâs marriage, despite her instance it does.Â
It becomes obvious that youâre losing Jeonghanâs attention when you turn down his request to start playing games or watch a movie. Itâs not that you donât want to do those things, itâs just that you have a lot to cover in far less time than you realized. Sure, the wedding is still weeks away. Whatâs not weeks away is your first dinner with your family. Thatâs going to be around the corner. The least you could do, you figured, was plan a time before posting pictures on instagram. So, Jeonghan asks if itâs okay to leave and you almost sigh in relief. This will be easier without an extra person.
âNot to pry, but whatâs the deal with you and Jeonghan?â Joshua asks when you settle back on the couch with a glass of wine.Â
âWhat do you mean?â you ask.
âI donât know, I feel like I was picking up on something,â Joshua shrugs.
âWeâre really just friends,â you assure him.
âSometimes those are the bestâŠâ Joshua starts.
âDonât,â you cut off. He worries for a second before he realizes youâre smiling. âWe did try. Not so much a try, I guess, but we slept together maybe 6 months after Johnny and I broke it off and it just wasnât it.âÂ
âYou and him slept together?â Joshua questions.
âIs that weird for you?â you ask.
âNo, itâs just interesting that youâre still so close,â Joshua observes.
âI guess,â you say with a shrug. âHeâs great, obviously attractive, but we just, I donât know. I didnât feel anything. Neither did he. So, staying friends seemed like the right choice.â
âInteresting,â is all Joshua says. âHave you dated anyone seriously since Johnny?âÂ
âNot that seriously, no,â you admit. âIâve gone on dates with different people and some of them stuck around for a bit, but nothing serious.âÂ
âNot finding the right people?â Joshua presses.
âI just havenât found anyone that made me feel like Johnny did at the beginning or even like I did when he proposed,â you say.Â
âI can understand that, even if I donât really get it. Youâre gorgeous, anyone would be lucky,â he says smoothly. You cover a blush with a slight eye roll.Â
âI guess thatâs why most of my close friends will also believe that I kept a new relationship on the low. They saw me post-Johnny and have seen me try to date,â you share.
âYeah thatâs good for us, at least,â Joshua agrees.
âWhat about you, though? When was your last relationship?â you ask.
âAh, well itâs been a little over a year,â Joshua says.Â
âBad ending?â you wonder. Youâre not sure why you press him on it.
âIt wasnât great,â Joshua says with a chuckle. âShe, uh, well she decided that she just really would rather be with one of my friends than with me.â
âIâm so sorry you went through that,â you say, suddenly sorry.
âNo, no, itâs fine,â he says. âShe didnât actually cheat on me, but she had started getting close to him and sharing everything with him.â
âArguably worse, in my opinion. Emotional cheating is still a thing,â you say, trying to offer comfort.Â
âThank you,â Joshua says. His eyes are soft and full of care. âAnd, like you, I have dated since then, just nothing worth talking about.âÂ
Itâs an easy transition from that into talking about your backgrounds. Like speed dating, except somehow more intense. You learn Joshuaâs birthday, his parents names, that heâs an only child, and where he grew up. Nothing is too small and you joke about taking notes before you actually go to get a notebook. Joshua tells you his favorite color and his favorite food, tells you about his favorite memories, favorite places where he grew up, and favorite places heâs found since moving here. Thereâs a way that his face lights up when he talks about his friends thatâs drawing you in. You tell him the same. That all feels a little surface level, which you point out. If this is going to work, it has to be deeper, more serious.Â
Thatâs when something seems to almost break down. Joshua suggests that you tell each other the deep stuff, the things that you donât always admit to someone youâre dating. Or, maybe you admit it and donât get into the reasons why. When Joshua goes first and admits that heâs happiest when heâs playing his guitar, even if nobody else is listening, his whole face changes. Itâs like a completely different version of him. Heâs got an open face as it is, that hasnât changed, but you realize maybe heâs a little guarded behind the smile as well. Maybe there really is more depth than he wants anyone to realize. Maybe this is going to be more interesting than you thought.
âCan I hear you play?â you ask. His face is adorable with his eyes full of surprise.
âYou want to hear me play?â Thereâs an emotion you canât place when he looks at you.
âI love music, too, Joshua,â you say softly. âIâd love to see what youâre passionate about.â
âOh, well, I usually play at this acoustic night on Thursdays at a coffee shop downtown,â Joshua tells you.
âYou do? Thatâs so cute!â you say before second guessing it. He looks away like heâs a little embarrassed and you worry for a split second.
âIâd love it if you came by,â he says.
âItâs a shame that we canât say thatâs where we met,â you admit.
âWait, that would be a good idea, actually,â Joshua says and you smile.Â
âIt would be, but I also know events like that. Itâs always a similar crowd so Iâm sure someone will know that Iâve never been,â you reason.Â
âFair point,â Joshua concedes.Â
âWhy donât we just say we met on a dating app?â you suggest and Joshua pulls up his face. âOkay, I know apps are lame and honestly, I donât use them much. But, think about it. Thatâs the perfect reason why we didnât bring it up until now, we didnât want to answer the âwhere did you meetâ question by saying an app.âÂ
âOkay, yeah, I do actually like that because itâs easy and it doesnât feel like a wild story,â Joshua says.Â
âWhat about your parents?â you ask. âDo we need to make plans to meet them if youâre also posting about me?âÂ
âWe can figure that out, but they live pretty far away so it would probably just be over FaceTime or something,â he says.
âI also understand if you donât want to do that because weâre just pretending,â you suggest.Â
âNo, itâd be cool to have you meet them. Even if the relationship isnât real, Iâd like to be friends for real, so thatâs not a total lie,â Joshua reasons.Â
âIâd like to be friends too,â you agree. âHow long have you been living here, now?âÂ
âOh, um, like 8 months?â Joshua says like a question.
âI was figuring like a month or two with the way Jeonghan talks about you,â you laugh.Â
âYouâve been friends with him for years, youâre not actually surprised,â Joshua points out.Â
âOkay so now I guess we have to figure out when we started dating,â you comment.
âAnd everything else, but we can do it,â Joshua says.Â
Youâre a little nervous sitting on your couch waiting for Joshua to show up. Even though you offered to pick him up for dinner with your family tonight, he insisted on being the one to drive. Of course heâs right on time, which youâre already realizing is a trait of his. Heâs even a gentleman when he opens the door for you, just like he pulled the chair out the first time you met for the date-not-date. As you put your seatbelt on, you notice that there are a few things in the backseat.Â
âWhatâs all that?â you ask as he slides into the driverâs seat.Â
âFlowers for your mom, a bottle of scotch for your dad, and a cheese board for your sister because you said they just moved and she likes to host,â Joshua lists off as if itâs nothing.
âYou did not have to get things for all of them,â you point out.Â
âOf course I did, but I also wanted to. Iâm trying to make a good impression,â he says, making your heart a little light.
âThatâs so kind,â you whisper out.
âOh, I thought of something else,â Joshua shifts. Youâre worried you made him uncomfortable until he speaks again. âAre you a pet name person in relationships?â
That makes you snort, something that would embarrass you in any other situation. Itâs not the first time heâs heard it, though. âThat depends on what you want to call me.â
âThatâs a dangerous way to say that,â Joshua answers. His eyes are still on the road, yet you donât miss the way he reacts.
âI donât like overly cutesy names,â you say to diffuse a little bit of the moment. âLike, I donât know, if you want to call me sugarplum or honeybunch or something like that, please donât.â
âYouâre just giving me ideas to take away my fun,â he pouts.
âWell, what were you thinking of calling me? Or are you even a pet name person?â you ask.
âI do like them,â Joshua says. âIâm not sure that I have a go-to or anything. For you, I might say angel or possibly darling.â
âI think I prefer angel, if Iâm allowed to pick,â you say after a moment.
âOf course,â Joshua replies. Studying his face, youâre looking for a hint of mocking or insincerity, but thereâs nothing to find. This is just him.
âDo you want me to use a pet name for you?â you wonder.
âIâd happily take one, no pressure, though,â he says.Â
âIâll have to think about it,â you tell him. âSomething generic like babe doesnât feel right.â
âAre you saying Iâm special?â Now you can hear the light teasing in his voice.Â
âI take it back, any more compliments are going to go to your head,â you huff out.Â
As you get closer to your parentsâ house, you start to bounce your knee with an excess of nervous energy. Itâs not until Joshua reaches a hand out to take one of yours that youâre even sure youâre doing it. Thereâs something calming about it, though. Nothing about him reaching out feels like heâs trying to stop you, just show that youâre not alone in this. Which is more than welcome. The last person you brought to meet your parents was Johnny. Given how that ended and why Joshua is around in the first place, itâs not exactly the most comforting thought.
Once you pull up to their house, you take a deep breath. Itâs only to settle your rising nerves, but it also serves to give Joshua enough time to come and open your door. Even though youâve told him that he doesnât need to be this sweet, he insists. Without saying a word, he holds out a hand to help you out of the car. Instead of dropping your hand once youâre out, he uses it to pull you into him and wraps his arms around you. Thereâs this immediate sense of comfort, like you have actually been dating for months. You inhale his cologne without meaning to, something warm and woodsy.Â
âItâs going to be fine, parents love me,â he assures you when you pull away.
âI donât doubt that,â you say, releasing the breath you were holding and your tension with it.Â
âSo come on, my little granola wrapper, letâs go,â Joshua says as he lets you go to get the gifts out of his backseat.Â
It takes you a full few seconds to register what came out of his mouth. âIâm sorry, what did you just call me?âÂ
âIs that not the one?â he asks, eyes alight with some kind of mischief.Â
âIâm not going to encourage this,â you huff.
âWhatever you say, jellybean,â he throws out casually.Â
The second you step into the house, you see exactly what Joshua means. Your mother is fawning over him in a matter of seconds, your father is making plans to show him his records, your sisterâs husband is asking when they can go out for drinks, and your sister even holds back the snark. All during the course of the pre-dinner drinks and largely, you think, due to the gifts that Joshua brought. He had a reason for the meaning behind the type of flowers for your mother, a favorite musician who swore by the scotch for your dad, and even bought the cheese board from a small business that customized things.Â
Dinner comes along and you still feel like youâve barely said anything with Joshua masterfully steering the conversation. He even makes it sound good that you met on an app, with his improvised story of wanting to meet people in a new city. According to him, he wasnât expecting to meet someone like you and was done for the second he saw you sitting at dinner. Itâs something real, that you met him for dinner the first time at a fancy downtown restaurant. And you realize you never actually asked what his impression was that first night. More than once, you catch yourself watching his profile as he talks to one of your family members. Everything about him is at ease and you wonder if it really is all fake. Not that you think anything about him is disingenuous, heâs just really good at making people like him.Â
The only hiccup doesnât come until your mother is pulling out dessert. According to your sister, sheâs got an excellent pie in the refrigerator that you simply have to try. Youâre about to say something when Joshua beats you to it.Â
âI donât think my little sugarplum likes fruit pies, but it sounds amazing and Iâd love a piece,â Joshua interjects smoothly.Â
Your sister nearly spits out her drink, whether itâs at the nickname or him speaking up for you, youâre not sure. In any other situation, you would scold him for the name, but youâre a little stunned he remembers you donât like pie. It came up once in a rapid fire of likes and dislikes.Â
âYouâre right, she doesnât,â your sister agrees. âIâd almost forgotten.âÂ
(Thatâs when youâre sure it was another of your sisterâs tests. Trying to catch you in some kind of lie about your relationship. But, it doesnât work and you feel a little victorious for that.)
The doorbell rings through the house and you look to your mother, silently asking if sheâs expecting someone. Itâs unusual for them to have company calling this late on a Friday night. Itâs usually reserved for dinners with friends or family or galas. Unsurprisingly, your mother doesnât seem to know who it could be, but disappears to answer the door all the same. When a voice drifts through from the hallway, you freeze on the spot.
âI really just came by to drop that off for my mom, I didnât realize it was so late. Iâd hate to intrude on dessert,â the guest says.Â
âNonsense, youâre not interrupting,â your mother insists.Â
âI saw an unfamiliar car, so I figured you might have guests,â he says as they come through the doorway into the living area.Â
Your heart stutters a little in your chest, feels heavier for seeing him. Somehow he looks taller and broader than the last time you saw him. Heâs wearing his hair shorter and he looks more mature, somehow, like heâs seen so much more of the world than when you were together. Which is probably true, if you think about it. Itâs been a couple years and that means heâs had more time working with his father.Â
âThat would be my car,â Joshua says, getting to his feet immediately and extending his hand. âIâm Joshua.âÂ
âJohnny,â he answers and shakes Joshuaâs hand. Yet, his face looks a little tense and his eyes mostly stay on you.Â
âItâs just family,â your mother shares, though Johnny can obviously see that himself, âsince our darling daughter finally brought Joshua around to meet us.âÂ
âIâm glad she did, dinner was wonderful and the company was even better,â Joshua says with a smile at your mother. She nearly blushes at his compliment.Â
âOh, hush,â your mother says with a wave of her hand. âI was just getting some pie if youâd like to stay for a piece, Johnny. Although, Iâd hate to keep you from home.â
Joshua sits back down next to you, a little closer than is strictly necessary, and puts his arm along the back of the couch behind you. You feel safe pressed up against his side like that. Johnny clears his throat when he looks away from the pair of you. âGabby has been out of town all week, actually, so Iâm going back to an empty home anyway. Iâd love to stay for a piece of your famous cherry pie.âÂ
âGreat!â your mother says and disappears off into the kitchen.Â
âWhatâs got Gabby away?â your sister asks.Â
âJust a conference,â Johnny answers. âThere was a final banquet tonight and sheâll be home tomorrow.âÂ
âSheâs busy, away this week, bachelorette next weekend,â she says offhand.Â
âKeeping tabs on when everything is?â you ask of your sister. She looks at you like youâre crazy and Johnny looks awkward.
âNo, I was invited to it,â your sister answers evenly.Â
Before you can even answer, Joshua is speaking up. Probably sensing your discomfort. After all, you hadnât gotten to tell him that Johnnyâs fiance is friends with your younger sister. They had gone to school together and been close. Stealing her sisterâs fiancĂ©e doesnât seem to have impacted the friendship.Â
âYou must be excited with the big day getting so close,â Joshua says. He moves his arm from behind you so that he can take your hand on your thigh. It makes you look down at your hands before glancing at him, only to find his gaze on you already. It also means you miss the way Johnny follows the movement.Â
âUh, yeah, I mean, Iâm definitely excited. Itâs just been a lot of planning,â Johnny says.Â
âI bet,â Joshua says. âThank you so much for inviting me, I know how stressful changes can be.âÂ
âItâs no problem, Iâm happy youâll both be there,â Johnny says.Â
With almost a practiced subtlety, Joshua squeezes your hand. Thereâs so much in that one movement. A reassurance, a reminder to breathe, a reminder that heâs there, a promise that everything is going to be okay. Your heart hurts seeing Johnny sitting in the living room so casually as if nothing happened, but it doesnât hurt as much as you expected. Maybe that has something to do with this impossibly kind, completely idiotic person next to you. You also canât help the way your gaze lands on him. Just in profile, at first, before he senses your look and turns to you with a dazzling smile. Itâs like thereâs nobody else in the world but the two of you.
The conversation shifts slightly when your mother comes back in with a tray full of pie slices and your father comes back with whatever record he was looking for to show Joshua. Just like that, you survive your first in-person interaction with Johnny. Actually come out of it feeling like you might be able to handle this. The smile you send Joshua while heâs eating his pie is so fond that youâre not even sure who you are.Â
âI canât believe you didnât call me last night,â Jeonghan says in lieu of a hello.
âHello to you too, Iâm good, thanks for asking,â you retort.
âGreetings are for people who remember their best friends, not for people who send a single sentence recap after bringing their fake boyfriend home to meet the family,â Jeonghan states immediately.
âThatâs a very long rule,â you note.
âDeserved, though,â Jeonghan says.
âI was tired, Han, it was a long night,â you explain.
âA long night where your ex showed up,â he reminds you.
âThat actually wasnât so bad,â you admit. âJoshua made it feel pretty easy.â
âOh did he now?âÂ
You donât have to be in the same room as Jeonghan to hear the expression on his face when he says that. âIt was just easy, Jeonghan, nothing more than that.â
âWhat did your parents think?â he asks, switching gears.
âThey loved him, like actually loved him. My mom was enamored and kept calling him handsome. My dad was talking about music with him and making plans to go check out some acoustic music venue. Even the ice queen couldnât find anything to fault him for,â you share.
âSheâs less of an ice queen and more of a mean girl and a bitch,â Jeonghan adds.
âYou said it,â you mumble.
âI mean, come on, who thinks itâs okay for their friend to sleep with their sisterâs fiancĂ©? And then stays friends with the girl?â Jeonghan gets really defensive with this. He would ride for you to the ends of the world, which you do love. Just not today.Â
âI donât wanna relive that whole thing, itâs done and over. Nothing to do now,â you say, weariness seeping into your voice.
âWould you want to do anything about it?â Jeonghan asks.
âWhat do you mean?â You answer the question with a question.
âLike would you want to go back to when you were with Johnny?â Jeonghan asks.
You think about it for half a second. âNo.âÂ
âThat was fast,â Jeonghan comments.
âWhatâs there to go back to? He made his choice and Iâm fine, honestly. It was weird seeing him and hearing him talk about his wedding, but it wasnât as bad as I thought,â you say.
âIs that because of your Prince Charming?â Your best friend, always doing the most, puts this question into a sing-song voice.Â
âHeâs not a Prince Charming. Youâre so annoying,â you scoff.Â
âI donât know, he sure seems to be saving you,â Jeonghan presses.Â
âI canât withâŠâ you start, trailing off at the knock on your door.
âWhoâs there?â Jeonghan asks.Â
âNo clue,â you answer, getting off your couch to go see.Â
âI bet itâs Prince Charming,â Jeonghan laughs out.
âWould you fuckâŠâ you begin as you open the door to find the very subject of your conversation on the other side, âoff.â
âIâm right arenât I?â Jeonghan is nearly shrieking with glee.
âSorry, gotta go,â you say.
âOh no, no, no,â Jeonghan tries.
Youâre stepping aside to let Joshua into your apartment. âIâll see you tomorrow for brunch.â
âLet me know if I need to add one more to the reservation,â Jeonghan says.Â
âGoodbye,â you say with an eye roll Jeonghan canât see, but will surely hear. You hang up as soon as he also says goodbye.
âJeonghan?â Joshua guesses.
âUnfortunately,â you confirm.Â
âI hope I wasnât interrupting,â Joshua says. Itâs nothing like when someone says it out of forced courtesy. He actually seems like heâs making sure heâs not intruding.Â
âNo, not at all, I just wasnât expecting you,â you admit.Â
âSometimes thatâs the best time to come over,â Joshua says with a shrug.
âDoes that mean you have a plan?â you wonder.
âYup,â Joshua says.
âGonna tell me what it is?â you ask.
âNope,â he says with a concerning smile, popping the end of nope. âGo put on something comfortable but with layers. And weâre not going hiking or anything like that.âÂ
An hour later, youâre pulling off the road in an area youâve never been to, even with as long as youâve lived here. The views are instantly enough to take your breath away. You can see the whole city below you, all the bustle of traffic and skyscrapers. Somewhere, you know there are people rushing to and fro, too busy to stop and appreciate whatâs around them. Straight ahead, you can see the way the low clouds glide around, splitting around the very tops of the buildings. Itâs beautiful and it also makes you realize just how small you are.Â
While youâve been appreciating the views in front of you, Joshua has been gathering his supplies from the trunk. By the time you turn around, heâs laying a blanket and basket down on the ground in front of the car.Â
âIs thisâŠdid you set up a picnic?â you ask.
âI wanted to show you this place and figured some food might be nice,â he says with an easy smile.Â
âThatâs so sweet,â you say earnestly.
You settle on the blanket next to him and look through the food heâs pulling out. There are some of your favorite things and some things youâre not even sure youâve seen before. Somehow, though, you feel like they might become some of your new favorites. He even brought plates and he sets about putting one together for you to pick at.
Joshua tells you about how this is his favorite place and he found it completely by accident. He loves being down in the city and around all the people, but thereâs something nice about seeing things from this perspective too. Itâs like he can just disconnect for a while. Turn off his phone. Read or listen to music. Just be totally alone. Itâs how he works through a problem or gets the perspective he needs.
âI canât believe youâre sharing it with me,â you admit and his eyes light up with his smile.
âI just thought, after last night, you might appreciate having a place to get away from it all,â Joshua says.
You want to say something, anything, really, to acknowledge what Joshua just said. Try to say something. Your throat doesnât want to cooperate, it seems. Your brain, either. In fact, all you can manage to do is turn away to hide the tears. Joshua is observant, though. He doesnât say anything, just pulls you into his chest and runs his hand along your back. He quietly soothes you as you cry out a lot of emotions you didnât even realize you were experiencing.Â
And something about him comforting you, this near stranger who doesnât actually owe you anything, sets you off more. In the early days of your relationship with Johnny, you know it was good. It must have been. Surely, it was more than a relationship between two people who had known each other for years with families that were intertwined. You donât remember it anymore. Donât remember him ever holding you like this without even knowing what was wrong. Donât remember him taking you on a date like this just because he thought you would enjoy it. Since you havenât seriously dated anyone since the break-up, he also feels like your only frame of reference. That makes you sad for an entirely different reason. Who loses it over someone just being a little kind?
âIâm so sorry,â you finally say when you manage to pull yourself together.Â
âFor what?â he asks.Â
âFor just crying like that and being such a mess,â you say.Â
Joshua shakes his head. Moves his hand up to your face and waits for confirmation that itâs okay. When you nod, he gently wipes the tears from under your eyes. âYou have nothing to apologize for. What youâre going through with your ex, most of us could never even imagine that kind of pain.â
âBut still, you barely know me and here you are trying to be kind and all I can do is cry,â you say.Â
âFirst of all, I think last night and the food I put together show Iâve actually learned a lot about you in a short time,â he says and you have to laugh at that. Heâs right. âSecond, Iâm just happy you feel safe enough with me to cry. Itâs not healthy to hold all that in. Youâre not in this alone.â
That brings you up short more than anything. Heâs right, again (an annoying habit, if youâre being honest). You donât feel any hesitation around him. Nothing to stop you from crying if you feel like crying. Thatâs unusual, to say the least. Normally, youâll do anything to avoid anyone seeing you emotional. But, this man you just met is different. Heâs safe. Youâre not sure how or why, but you know you can trust him.Â
âAre you free tomorrow for brunch?â you ask. Joshua gives you a quizzical look for a moment at the sudden topic change.Â
âYeah, why?â he asks.Â
âI just need to send one quick text and then I want to do what you said you normally do here. Disconnect from the world and just appreciate the afternoon,â you say and find yourself smiling along with his smile. He really is so beautiful.Â
You: add one to the reservation for brunch tomorrow and iâll call you tonight when iâm home
You switch your phone into Do Not Disturb before the response comes and turn all your attention back to Joshua.Â
Over the next couple weeks, Joshua slips seamlessly into your life and your existing friendships. Some of them, like those closest to you that come along to the Sunday brunches, know the whole story. Itâs not like they would believe you had kept a relationship secret for that long, anyway. And itâs good to have a few extra sets of eyes and ears helping to sell the story. Other friends get the same story that your family and Johnny got. Itâs not that you donât trust them, you do. Itâs more important to keep the circle of people who know the real story as small as possible, though, so that it actually succeeds. All your friends adore him from the second they meet him. The only surprise is how well Jeonghan seems to be adjusting to sharing your time. He wants to give you a hard time, yet he doesnât.Â
You meet all Joshuaâs friends and coworkers, too. It feels way easier than it should the first time you join him and his coworkers after work for drinks. They spend most of the time giving Joshua a hard time that heâs kept you to himself for so long. Itâs easy to fall into step and you find that you do know him a lot better than you think. So, itâs just as easy for you to jump in when theyâre giving him a hard time. He pretends to be annoyed, but you can tell by the way he smiles that he likes it. Itâs one of those genuine smiles that makes his eyes bigger and brighter. Everything just feelsâŠeasy. Like this whole thing wasnât actually a bad idea after all.Â
Your favorite part might be the first time you got with him to an Open Mic Night and get to see him play. Heâs got that easy kind of confidence on the guitar. Like he knows heâs talented, but not in a cocky way. Itâs his singing that catches you off guard. His voice moves over the notes with an ease that makes you wonder why this isnât something heâs doing for a living. Heâs got this way of pulling you into songs that you donât even know. And heâs so kind with the people that show up just to see him play. They all seem just as happy to meet you and know that heâs happy.Â
Thereâs only been one part thatâs been difficult. Not difficult, exactly, but not as comfortable as some of the other things. While you and Joshua talked through anything and everything to prepare to start a fake relationship, you covered comfort levels with physical affection. You both say youâre comfortable with physical touch, though he seems to seek it out more than you do. That includes at least some level of PDA as a couple. Youâve never really been one to just randomly make out with a partner in public, but youâve never been shy about expressing affection either. It was fine, when it was all theoretical.Â
In actual practice, itâs been a little more difficult. The first time Joshua had pressed a kiss to the side of your head while you were out with people that didnât know it was fake caught you off guard. It shouldnât have, he asked before doing it and you confirmed it was fine. What you hadnât been entirely prepared for was how it would feel when he did it. Or how it would feel that he was so casual about it, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like it wasnât making you rethink everything in your life.Â
Tonight, youâre hanging out with friends at Hyejinâs house. You and her have been friends since before you even started school. So, she knows whatâs really going on with Joshua. Your other friends there, though, are mostly not in on it. Which is fine. Youâre shockingly comfortable with the song and dance.Â
Itâs not actually fine.Â
It starts the same as any other time youâve been out somewhere with him. Youâre sitting close together on the couch, thighs pressed together, with his arm behind you along the back of the couch. Periodically, his fingers play with the sleeve of your shirt. Itâs an absentminded habit and youâre used to it. Heâs usually keeping some sort of contact with you in a very subtle way. You learned right away that he did like physical touch, but it was rarely something obvious. One drink in and his affection got a little more obvious. Arm wrapped firmly around you. More kisses pressed to the side of your head.Â
Two drinks in and it changes again. He removes his arm from around you in favor of holding your hand. Playing with your fingers while heâs having other conversations, like he doesnât even realize. Hand squeezing your thigh. Or tracing patterns into the material of your pants. Head dropping down on your shoulder when heâs not talking to someone else. And itâs definitely not fine. Youâre nursing your drink, but even if you werenât, his constant presence would sober you. Since youâve just finally finished your first, you think maybe a second is a good idea.
Itâs not. Joshua gets another drink, his third, and you decline. Instead, you stick with the water youâve been drinking since you couldnât even finish your second. You want to be able to respond, whatever happens. Respond to whatever new form of affection unlocks with this next drink.Â
âI hope you stick around, youâre my favorite of the partners that weâve met,â Mimi announces to Joshua when he plops back down next to you.Â
Youâre glad that you hadnât taken a sip because it wouldâve come out immediately. Mimi has been a friend for a long time as well, and you love her, but she doesnât know the truth.Â
âDonât I know it,â Joshua agrees, earning a lot of laughter.Â
âHave you met Johnny yet? I know youâre going to the wedding,â Taehyung wonders.Â
âYeah Johnny showed up magically the night I brought him by to meet my parents, sister, and brother-in-law,â you say, regaining some composure.Â
âI think you traded up,â Joshua says, eyes laser focused on you.Â
Youâre not so lucky this time and you just took a sip. You nearly choke. âDo you?â
âDefinitely,â Joshua insists.Â
âI agree,â Jimin says and Mimi elbows him in the side. âWhat?â
âYouâre going to the wedding,â she says.Â
âSo? Heâs a fucking tool,â Jimin shrugs off.Â
âAre you all going, then?â Joshua asks.Â
âA good portion of us, yeah,â Hyejin says. âFamily connections, you know?âÂ
âI wasnât invited,â Mimi pouts.Â
âWant to come?â Taehyung asks and Mimi laughs.Â
âTae, my love, you canât just invite people,â Mimi says and shakes her head.Â
âI have a plus-one,â Taehyung says with a shrug. âI think we all knew I wouldnât make it to the wedding in my relationship. But, Johnny still thinks Iâm bringing someone.â
âDamn, okay. Iâm in,â Mimi says.Â
âIâm not going either, my family ties werenât enough to get an invite,â Jeonghan says without any sorrow in his eyes.Â
âThatâs because of what you said to him after the break up,â Hyejin interrupts with a laugh.Â
âI donât remember saying anything that bad,â Jeonghan shrugs, and examines his finger nails to show how little he cares.Â
âRemind me to show you what he said some time, it was fucking gold,â Hyejin says to Joshua.
âDo you have it saved?â you ask.
âI should have it framed, honestly,â Hyejin says. âGet you a best friend like Jeonghan, for real, for real.âÂ
âHey, thatâs my best friend, get your own,â you joke.Â
âThatâs a shame you wonât be there though, Han, I couldâve used the familiar face,â Joshua says.
âLike youâre going to be paying attention to anyone but your date,â Hyejin teases.Â
âCan you blame me? I still canât believe how lucky I got,â Joshua says without any hint that heâs pretending. It makes your heart skip a couple beats as you try to catch your breath.Â
âUgh, Iâm so single,â Mimi whines.Â
âMaybe not after the wedding,â Hyejin teases.Â
The conversations devolve from there into separate, smaller chats. Joshua is back to tracing patterns into your leg. Without warning, he pops his head up and places a quick peck on your lips before dropping his head onto your shoulder again. Heâs so nonchalant about it that youâre not really sure it even happened. Youâve kissed a couple times like that, quick pecks in public. But, itâs always been when youâve talked about it. It isnât until you look up to meet Jeonghanâs eyes that you know it all really happened.Â
Joshua, unaware that heâs just turned your world a little upside down, moves his head to look at you again. âYouâre beautiful, you know.â
Itâs barely a whisper and you know heâs not drunk. Heâs not sober either, though. And youâve had drinks around each other before. Heâs just never been quite so glued to your side or free with the compliments. Youâre also not usually so singularly focused on him. A fact that doesnât go entirely unnoticed.Â
âThank you,â you whisper back.Â
âIâm kinda hungry,â he continues in a bit of a whine.Â
âWell you were the one who thought skipping dinner was smart,â you tease him.Â
âBut my little honeybunch,â he teases back. You snort and miss the way several of your friends watch the interaction because they know how you are about weird pet names.Â
âTry again, sweetheart,â you answer.Â
âSweetheart, I like the way that sounds,â he says, distracted.Â
âJust a little longer and we can leave and get something to eat,â you say and he sighs.Â
âFine,â he concedes and kisses your cheek, just barely a whisper away from the corner of your mouth.Â
About half an hour later, you say your goodbyes. Despite your suggestions, Joshua continued drinking instead of switching to water. Itâs as fine as it can be, though. Heâs just an affectionate drinker. He wraps an arm around you, slipping a hand into your back pocket so that he can whisper thanks again. You do your best to shrug it off and let him drape his arms around your shoulder instead.Â
The car ride is quiet, initially. You pick a playlist that he made for you after you first met. Something he seems to enjoy. Youâre nearly back at his place when he says that he doesnât have anything to eat. But, luckily, thereâs a place around the corner that he loves thatâs still open. He manages to place an order on the app, gets something for you as well, and pays before getting there. All you have to do is walk in.Â
âI hope youâll come in and eat with me,â he says when you get back into the car.Â
Youâre not really sure how to tell him that you donât want to. Not because you donât want to spend time with him. Or that you donât appreciate him ordering something he knows youâll like. No, itâs so much deeper than that. Itâs that you donât know if your heart can handle it. Youâve got a couple more weeks of this and your heart is taking a beating. All of this is fake. Itâll be over after the wedding. But, the compliments donât feel fake. The kisses donât feel fake. The affection doesnât feel fake. Your heart racing is real, oh so real. You donât need anyone to tell you that youâre in way too deep.Â
None of that comes out, though.Â
âSure, sweetheart,â you say and hold your breath for a second. You hadnât meant to say that when it was just you.Â
Joshua smiles over at you. âReally do like that.âÂ
Does he know what heâs doing to you? Can he hear your heart hammering in your chest? Can he hear your breath catch? Does he know how insanely beautiful he is? Or that heâs all the more beautiful because heâs so unfailingly kind?Â
Probably not, because he gets distracted and starts singing along as the song changes. Itâs welcome, but also a little devastating. His voice cuts through you in a way youâre still very unprepared to handle.
After another few minutes, youâre at Joshuaâs place. He springs back into action and tries to open your door for you, even though youâre the driver. He settles for taking hold of your hand as he walks to his door, only reluctantly dropping it when he gets to the door.Â
His apartment is familiar to you, it has to be for this to be believable. So, he sets the food out and you grab plates. You grab a couple waters from the fridge while he takes the food over to the couch, bypassing the table. You sit next to him, leaving enough space between you that youâre not touching. Hoping he doesnât think anything of it.Â
Itâs useless, apparently, because he slides over to press into your side.
Whatâs worse (not that you thought that was possible) is that he picks things off of your plate and gives you food off his plate. Tries to feed it to you, actually, and pouts when you donât let him. It takes everything in you not to beg him to be gentle on your heart. He doesnât even seem to realize what heâs doing to you as he smiles and jokes. Doesnât seem to think twice about playing with your hands or his hand on your leg or any of the things he usually does when you have an audience. Thereâs nobody here to see and heâs not usually this touchy when youâre alone. Maybe itâs the drinks.
âI like your friends a lot, you know,â he says out of nowhere.
âThey like you, too,â you assure him.
âWhat about you?â he asks.
âIâd assume they like me as well,â you laugh out.
âNo, I meant me. Do you like me?â he asks, eyes big and vulnerable.
Please, Joshua, Iâm begging you. Be gentle with me, you think so loud youâre worried he might hear.
âIâm actually a little sick of you,â you joke.Â
âBut, but,â he begins and dramatically throws himself in your lap.Â
âYouâre the worst,â you say without any bite. Your hands find their way into his hair, softly running through the strands.
âThat feels nice,â he says softly. âCan I just stay like this? Iâm tired.âÂ
âOf course,â you whisper.
âYouâll stay with me?â he asks, sounding like heâs about to drift off.
Youâre sure he wonât remember any of this. Not because heâs drunk, but heâs on the edges of sleep. So, you answer in a whisper. âAlways.âÂ
Maybe heâs not the one that needs to be careful with your heart. Maybe itâs you that needs to be careful. You know that you could walk away. That you could just remind him that this is all fake and thereâs nobody around to see now. Thatâs not what you do. So, maybe youâre just as much to blame.Â
Sunday Joshua: thanks for taking care of me last night Joshua: idk why the drinks hit me so hard Joshua: when did you leave? Monday Joshua: is everything okay? Did i say something stupid? Tuesday Joshua: i donât wanna sound clingy but are we still getting together at your place after work?
Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you know that you need to respond. You know that what youâre doing isnât fair to anyone. Itâs not like Joshua can somehow read your mind to realize youâre spiraling. It just feels a little paralyzing. This is a weird limbo of knowing you might be in over your head, but still believing this is all fake.Â
Jeonghan: hey dummy i know youâre ignoring joshua so iâm coming over tonight Jeonghan: i told him youâve been busy at work and i havenât heard from you either but we have some talking to do
Leave it to Jeonghan. You had almost forgotten, with how well youâve gotten to know Joshua, that it was Jeonghan who introduced you in the first place. Of course he would text your best friend when he couldnât get a hold of you. Does that make you feel better? Not really, you think, because it feels like a real relationship in a way. Oh well, you can talk about it with Jeonghan. If he shows up, that is.
And he does, less than an hour later.
âIâm here,â he announces when he comes in the door.
âThanks for knocking and giving me the chance to pretend Iâm not here,â you call back.
âYour car is outside and you have your location turned on,â Jeonghan says.Â
âRight,â you answer as he comes through the hall holding a bag from your favorite take out place.
âAt least I come bearing gifts,â he says.
âYouâre an angel, do you know that?â you ask and reach for the bag.
Jeonghan snorts. âIâm gonna remind you of that the next time you call me a demon.âÂ
âWell, Lucifer was a fallen angel,â you reason with a shrug.Â
âI hate you,â he says.
âI know,â you answer.Â
Jeonghan busies himself with taking out the food and making sure you have napkins. Tells you what he wants to drink when you get up to go into the kitchen. Calls for you to grab some utensils as well. By the time you sit back down with him, heâs flipping through a streaming service trying to find something to watch. Itâs not at all what youâre expecting and you just let it happen. The two of you have been friends long enough to know you should just let things play out.
With some mindless show on in the background, Jeonghan talks about work and your friends and everything else thatâs been going on the past few days. Like itâs been weeks since you last saw him. Mostly, he talks about how Taehyung has been blowing up his phone asking for advice about Mimi, which is actually news to you. Sure, you saw him ask her if she wanted to go with him to the wedding. What you had not expected was for him to actually be interested. Which he is, if his messages to Jeonghan are anything to go by. Itâs been everything from advice about talking to her to what kinds of things she might like as a surprise. They would probably be cute, you think.Â
âYeah, well, sometimes feelings catch us off guard,â Jeonghan says when you admit your surprise.
Damn. Did you really walk right into that?
âTrue,â you admit, knowing thatâs the best answer you can give.
âTalk to me,â Jeonghan urges.Â
âAbout what?â you ask to buy more time.
âJoshua,â he says.
âThereâs nothing to talk about,â you state. That makes him fix you with a look.
âClearly there is or you wouldnât be ignoring him,â he says.Â
âWeâre not really dating so I donât owe him constant updates. Iâm not ignoring him. I just have other shit to do,â you say without looking at him.
âWould you like to be?â he asks. That does make you turn to him.
âLike to be what?â you ask, though you think you know.
âReally dating him,â Jeonghan says.
Itâs a crossroads kind of moment. You could say that you donât want that. That would be a lie, though, and Jeonghan doesnât like it when you lie. Can always tell the second you say something thatâs not true. The truth is that youâve spent nearly every moment since that stupid night at Hyejinâs place thinking about what you actually feel for your fake boyfriend.Â
âI donâtâŠknow,â you say slowly and earn a smile because itâs not a lie.
âI was there the other night too, I saw the way it all played out,â he says.
âI mean, does it matter? This is all fake and soon, itâll be over,â you say.
âOf course it matters and itâll be over soon? Please,â Jeonghan scoffs. âI know heâs told you that he wants to keep you in his life after Johnnyâs wedding. So, what? Youâre just gonna be like okay, that was fun, letâs never talk again?â
âI donât know, maybe,â you say quietly.
He rolls his eyes. âTry again, buttercup.âÂ
âIt doesnât matter. He doesnât like me like that, heâs just nice,â you say, avoidant as ever.Â
âHe looks at you like heâd give you the moon if you asked for it,â Jeonghan snorts out.
âHeâs just nice, Han,â you disagree.
âMaybe,â your closest friend concedes, a rare move for him. It feels weird all the same. âWhatever it is, text him back. He misses you and I donât want to hear anymore about how heâs worrying he upset you.â
âHeâs been worrying that he upset me?â you ask. Your heart constricts at that.
âYeah, for some reason he actually likes your company,â he says. âCanât relate.â
You smack Jeonghan on the arm. âSays the man who shows up at my place unannounced when I ignore him for a day.â
âNo, I was just bored,â he argued. âAnd youâre way too stubborn to sort out your shit on your own.â
 âIâm not stubborn, but fine, Iâll text him,â you relent.
âNow,â he says.
âWhat?â
âText him now so that I know you actually did it.â
You roll your eyes at him, but pull your phone out anyway. Angling it away from Jeonghan so that he canât see your screen. Heâs such a nosy brat sometimes.
You: hey, iâm sorry. Itâs been really busy and i had a lot on my mind You: wanna do something tomorrow?
The response comes right away and you ignore the smug look on Jeonghanâs face as you quickly make plans. If Jeonghan was anyone else, he would probably just let you be since he ultimately got what he wanted. But, heâs not anyone else. And heâs as caring to his friends as he is calculating when he wants something. So, heâs not doing it to be cruel, not at all. He just wants you to consider what youâre actually feeling.Â
Youâll never tell Jeonghan how much you appreciate him talking everything through with you. Never tell him how good it feels to get all the thoughts out of your head. To his credit, heâs not smug and he doesnât tell you that heâs been right about your feelings all along. He just listens, supports you when you need it, and encourages you to keep thinking through everything thatâs going on.
As a make-up for slightly ignoring Joshua (over your own internal freak out), you take him to dinner at your favorite restaurant. Itâs this tiny little hole-in-the-wall that people seem to walk past. The kind of place where you couldnât overspend even if you tried because the couple that owned it just wanted to share good food. The kind of place where they know everyone by name. It makes you feel instantly at ease.Â
Joshua doesnât say it, but he also kind of canât believe you wanted to show him some place that meant so much to you. All he could do was watch, with so much fondness, as you spoke to the couple about everything under the sun. Watch as you turned slightly red when they scolded you for taking so long to bring Joshua by. Smile as you promised the both of you would be back. Despite trying to pay, you beat him to it. Even leaving a massive tip because you insisted the couple had undercharged you. They made a big show of not wanting to take the tip and you only reminded them the cash would stay sitting on the counter. You werenât taking it back either.Â
You donât really think about it when you take a picture of you and Joshua to upload on Instagram. At least, you try not to. Later, when youâre home and winding down for the night, you pull the picture back up. Itâs amazing just how happy both of you look. You donât need to read the comments to know that youâve never looked so happy in your life. Every part of you wants to pull back again. Itâs overwhelming. But, Jeonghanâs voice plays in your head and instead you push past. Make more plans that could break your heart. You have to just trust that he wonât.Â
It isnât until the weekend that youâre able to see him again because your schedules didnât quite match up. That doesnât stop him from calling you at night, though. Insisting that he wants to know how your day was, even if you can only spare a few minutes for a call. (Which never ends up being the case. You fall asleep on the phone with him twice. His voice is just so soothing when itâs all deep and soft.)Â
Again, Joshua tells you the date is a surprise. He can be a little bit of a demon, when it suits him. Sure, he likes to pretend heâs not. That heâs above the chaos. Then, he does something like this and he canât really escape it. But, heâs so sure he knows what you like that heâs positive youâll enjoy the date. You remember how that chat had gone, too. You were ready to go to sleep, but unable to say goodnight.Â
(âI have our next date planned,â Joshua says, voice soft to match the calm of the night.
âWhat is it?â you wonder.
âA surprise,â he answers.
âWhat if I donât like it?â you ask back.
âYou will,â he assures you.
âYou sure seem to think you know me,â you joke.Â
âYeah, I do. Donât worry, youâll like this too,â he says.
There was no point in denying it. That confidence sent a bit of a shiver through you.)Â
It turns out that the date is at a winery where youâre painting with wine. You have to ask him to say it again because youâve only ever heard of wine and paint classes. Painting with wine is entirely new to you. It sounds fun, though, and you know how crafty Joshua can be, have seen all the projects around his apartment. So, even though youâre definitely not that artistic, youâre excited to see this as well.Â
Admittedly, by the end of the session, your painting isnât bad. It was a bit weird to use wine in that way, but they let you drink as well. Which makes it a lot easier to just go along with the idea of painting. Joshuaâs painting, on the other hand, is beautiful. Not for the first time, you think his talents might be wasted at an office job. Youâve seen the bracelets he makes and now youâve seen him paint. Youâve heard him sing and play the guitar. Heâs impossibly artistic in a way that should make you jealous. Instead, it just makes you more endeared to him.Â
You snap a picture of him and his art when heâs not looking and upload it before he can even realize it. Itâs only when a notification goes off on his phone that he realizes. He doesnât even say anything, just gets a sparkle in his eyes that makes you weary immediately. Heâs busy tapping away on his own phone before a notification sounds on yours. Maybe you werenât the only one to steal a candid shot if the picture of you laughing with a glass of wine in one hand and a paintbrush in the other is anything to go by. Itâs the caption that really ruins you, though. Just a simple âthink Iâm addicted to her lightâ. Itâs so simple and also so much sweeter than yours. You fight through the urge to run away.Â
Which lasts until you get home from dinner. It was the perfect date, truly. Joshua always seems to know exactly how to plan out a day so everything works. After sipping wine and painting, he took you to one of his favorite restaurants. Nothing too pretentious, just kind of unassuming. The kind of place where you get good food and even better conversation. Itâs (mostly) easy to keep your mind off the way your heart keeps racing.
When youâre back home, youâre not so lucky.
Back home, alone in your apartment, there arenât any distractions. Nothing to stop your mind from all the ways that it can sabotage your own happiness. Nothing to stop you from thinking about how nobody, not even Johnny, has ever planned out such thoughtful dates for you. Nobody has ever taken the time to really know you like Joshua. Even if you wonât admit it, he knows you better than anyone youâve ever dated. Which is terrifying, since this is all fake. And he hasnât even known you that long.Â
So, you do the rational thing and you pull back again. Answer his texts so that he doesnât send Jeonghan over to figure out whatâs wrong, but donât make solid plans. Talk a lot about a work project that you really need to get done ahead of schedule so that youâre not stressing leading up to the wedding. And you throw in some easy suggestions in the meantime so that it still seems like youâre making an effort.Â
Lunch on a work day so that it has a set ending time. Which still tugs at your heartstrings a bit because he takes a longer lunch just to meet you closer to where you work.Â
An event where your parents purchased a table for charity because heâs in high demand with your family around. And he canât be as affectionate.Â
His Open Mic Nights, but with the excuse that you canât stay too late because of your project and he should stick around with his friends. Youâll get home safely.
Small little things that keep you around him and keep up your conversations while still giving you time to breathe. Youâre sure that youâre pulling it all off. And then, the wedding is around the corner. The finish line is in sight.Â
You: Iâm not going to the wedding You: you donât have to come pick me up Joshua: what are you talking about? You: iâm not going Joshua: but itâs literally in a few hours? You: yeah and i donât wanna go, so youâre off the hook You: thanks for everything, but you donât have to pretend anymore
Even if you know youâre being a little petulant, you donât really care. This whole thing was supposed to be about protecting your heart. Protecting your pride. Not showing up to your cheating ex-fiance's wedding alone and looking like some kind of loser. It was not supposed to be about your heart getting clobbered anyway. So, youâre doing the only logical thing you can think of. Ignoring your problems. Avoiding both the wedding and Joshua. What youâre not prepared for, though you should be, is the knock that comes at your door half an hour later.Â
Joshua is on the other side of the door and your heart actually stops. Heâs got his tux on and his hair styled back off his face. His eyes are soft as they take you in, noting that you have your hair and make up done. Though, youâre still in your sweats. You got at least that far before you decided this was a stupid fucking decision.Â
âCan I come in?â he asks when you donât say anything.
âSure,â you say and step aside.Â
âYou look like youâre getting ready,â he comments once heâs inside.
âI was, until I texted you,â you answer. âSpeaking of, why are you here?ïżœïżœïżœ
âBecause we had plans,â he says.Â
âYeah to go see my ex-fiance marry the girl he cheated on me with. Oh, and for you to pretend to be my boyfriend so I didnât look pathetic,â you say with a huff.Â
âYouâre not pathetic. Heâs an asshole,â Joshua says. He doesnât swear often, so it catches you a little off guard.Â
âWell, whatever, you donât have to go. So, Iâm not really sure why youâre here,â you say.Â
âYouâre being so cold. Whatâs going on?â Joshua asks and reaches out to you. Instead, you duck away from his touch.Â
âNothing is going on. It was stupid to care what Johnny thought or to try and save face somehow,â you say.Â
âItâs not stupid. He hurt you and you didnât deserve that,â Joshua urges.
âYou really donât know me that well. Maybe I did deserve it. Maybe I was awful to him and he had no choice,â you say.
âWe both know thatâs not true,â he says.
âDo we?â you challenge.Â
âYes, we do,â he presses. âThere is nothing you could do that justifies cheating instead of just breaking it off. But, I also know you didnât do anything wrong. Jeonghan and I talked about it.â
âYou spoke to Jeonghan about my relationship behind my back?â you question.Â
âWhat is going on? Weâve been hanging out for weeks and getting to know each other. I just wanted to know more about someone I was going to be helping. And I like knowing you,â Joshua says and you have to look away. You donât need the reminder of how much time youâve spent with him.
âYeah, sorry about all that time we wasted. Iâll pay you back for the tux or anything else you had to buy to pretend to date me,â you say and he looks genuinely confused.
âI donâtâŠwant you to pay me back for anything. It wasnât a waste of time. I did this because I wanted to,â he says.
âYeah, well, you donât have to pretend anymore because Iâm not going to the stupid fucking wedding. It was a really bad idea in the first place,â you say.
Joshua clenches his jaw and looks away. Like maybe heâs frustrated. âWhat is going on? Do you still have feelings for him?âÂ
âFor who? Johnny?â you ask, so insanely caught off guard that you forget youâre mad.
âYes,â Joshua says tightly.
âYouâve got to be fucking kidding me,â you bark out.
âWell? Youâre being really weird and now you donât want to go to a wedding that weâve been planning on,â he starts.
âYeah, which should make you happy, since you donât have to pretend to be my boyfriend anymore,â you say.
âBecause youâre still in love with Johnny,â Joshua finishes like he hadnât even heard you.
âOh my god,â you nearly scream. âIâm not fucking in love with Johnny. This isnât about him.â
âSo, you donât want to go to the wedding and it has nothing to do with him? That doesnât make any sense,â he says.Â
âNo, I donât want to keep doing this,â you say, gesturing between the two of you. âI donât want to keep pretending to date you when I -â
You clamp your mouth shut. Unable to believe that you almost blurted out how you feel.
âWhen you what?â he challenges. âWhat? Is it that bad being around me? Is that it? Are you just sick of me? Ready to toss me aside?â
You laugh bitterly, not even able to appreciate the irony in the situation. âNo, Joshua, I donât want to toss you aside.âÂ
âThen, what? What am I supposed to think when youâve been pushing me away for the last couple weeks? And I have to act like I havenât noticed all the ways youâve kept me at armâs length since we went to the winery. Why did you just decide, literally today, that you donât want to go to the wedding after all?â he asks, rambling. Heâs pacing in front of you. âWhy are you trying so hard to get rid of me?â
âBecause I donât want to get hurt!â you blurt out. âBecause I donât want to go to my fucking scumbag of an exâs wedding where everyone is going to be giving me these looks of pity or focusing on my relationship with him when all I want is this.â
âThis? What?â he asks, coming to a stop.
âThis, Joshua, you and me. Having this just all be pretend is breaking my heart. I canât keep doing it. It was supposed to keep me from getting my heart broken. It sucks and I hate it and I just wish it wasnât pretend. I donât want to go to the wedding and have you be so sweet and kind and caring when Iâm going to know it has an expiration date. That itâs all just been for show,â you admit. You turn away, clutching your arms around your center because youâre so tired. And so exposed. So vulnerable. Itâs awful.
The tears wonât stop, so you donât notice how Joshua has closed the space between you until he wraps his arms around you from behind. Pulls you back against his chest and presses a kiss into your hair.
âSo, letâs stop saying itâs pretend,â he whispers.Â
âWhat?â you whisper back.
He turns you in his arms so that youâre facing him and gently brushes away the tears. âLetâs stop saying itâs fake. It doesnât feel fake, does it?â
âNo,â is all you can manage.
âSo, itâs not fake and weâre not pretending,â he says.
âBut,â you start to protest.Â
âI knew I was in trouble, really deep trouble, as soon as we left your parentsâ house. I was just waiting for you to catch up,â he says as he gently runs a thumb across your cheek to wipe away a tear . Your eyes go wide.
âThat was barely a week in,â you say and he just shrugs. âAnd Iâd dumped all my bullshit on you.â
âI think thatâs actually what made me like you so much,â he says. âIt was supposed to be fake and we were trying to get to know each other well enough to pull it off. But, instead, I just realized you were actually perfect.â
âPerfect? I was broken,â you joke and he shakes his head.
âNo, youâve been hurt. Who hasnât? Youâre also strong, kind, funny, a fiercely loyal friend, and one of the most beautiful people Iâve ever met, inside and out,â he says.Â
âThatâs so, youâre so sweet,â you say and try to hide your face. He doesnât let you. âYou like me?â
âIâve liked you the whole time. I did think it was a date, after all,â he says. âAnd do you think Iâm that affectionate with everyone?â
âWe were pretending,â you argue.
âI wasnât,â he argues back.
âOur closest friends thought you were,â you disagree.
âAnd was anyone else there in my apartment when I was still being affectionate?â he asks.
âWell, no, butâŠâ you start.
âI heard you say always,â he tells you.
âYou did?â you ask, sure that itâs been your secret this whole time.
âWe donât have to go to the wedding. But, if itâs just because you donât want this to be over with me, then itâs not going to be over. Iâm yours for as long as you want me,â he says so earnestly it nearly makes you blush.
âCareful, you might get sick of me,â you joke.
He puts a finger under your chin so he can look you in the eyes. âIâll say it again. Iâm yours as long as you want me. I wonât get sick of you.âÂ
âIâŠâ you start and donât know where to go. So you do the only thing you can think of and kiss him. Itâs clear heâs a little caught off guard, but he recovers quickly. His arms wrap around you to hold you tight against him. Itâs the first time youâve really kissed him and youâre so screwed because he really is perfect at this too.Â
âSo, do I get you for the rest of today?â he asks.
You take in his tuxedo again, for real this time. Appreciating how well itâs tailored and how amazing he looks. With a sigh, you say, âyou know, itâs a shame to waste such a nice tux.â
âAre youâŠI thought we werenât going,â he stutters.
âIâm probably gonna have to fix my makeup in the car, but why not? I want to show off my super hot and very real boyfriend,â you say and watch him choke on air.Â
âYou canât just sayâŠâ he starts.
âDamn, sick of me already?â you tease.
âYou know Iâm not,â he answers and moves to follow you.
âNo, no. You donât get to see me changing. Iâll be back out in a second,â you say.Â
Youâre in the middle of shimmying into your dress when you realize that you do still have a lot to talk about. A lot to figure out. This whole situation has been unusual, though, so it probably makes sense that there isnât a template. Once you have your shoes on, you walk back into the living room, prepared to say something, only to find Joshua speechless.
âYou lookâŠâ he starts.
âYouâve seen the dress already,â you say and smile.
âNot on you. Not in person. You look amazing,â he says and crosses to pull you into his arms. âAre you sure we have to go?â
âYes,â you say and swat him. âBut, I do know we have a lot to talk about.â
âIâm not in a rush,â he says and allows you to step away.
âWe might need to be in a bit of a rush,â you say, checking the time and gathering all your things.Â
âLetâs go, then,â Joshua says and offers his arm.Â
The wedding passes in kind of a blur. In truth, you barely even register Johnny or what heâs doing beyond the actual ceremony. The reception is so massive that itâs easiest just to focus on the people around you. Especially when youâre at a table with your friends. Thankfully, youâre not at a table with your parents or your sister. It does mean, though, that youâre sitting next to Hyejin, who has definitely realized that something shifted between you and Joshua. So, sheâs trying to sneak in a question any time she can. Which is hard, given that Joshua is more attached to you than ever. And Hyejin doesnât want to draw unnecessary attention to you. All you manage to let her know is that itâs real now and that youâll fill her in after the wedding. (Youâre also thankful that people seem to be cooing over Taehyung and Mimi since theyâre the shiny new topic.)
Itâs also nice to have Joshua there because heâs a built in way to excuse yourself from any conversation that you donât want to be part of. Itâs easy to just say youâre going to go back to the table. Or, in the case of a good song coming on, heâll be quick to drag you to the dance floor and away from whatever conversation youâre stuck in. Heâs a good dancer, too. You donât miss the way Hyejin catches your eye when the first slow song comes on and he pulls you close to him. But, thatâs a conversation for another day. All you wanted was to appreciate the way his hand felt on your lower back or your hand felt in his.Â
When it was finally time to leave, Joshua led you out of the event, arm around you to guide you. Neither of you were drunk, but you had still hired someone to take you to and from the wedding anyway. A gift from your parents to appreciate you âdoing the right thingâ and coming to the wedding. For the sake of the families. It made you roll your eyes at the time, yet youâre thankful now. It would be far better than having to take an Uber or trying to get a room at the hotel (and risking seeing everyone else staying there the next morning). The ride home also gave you the chance to talk. Really talk. Neither of you cared much that someone else was driving (and he had the partition up, anyway), as you talked about your feelings honestly for the first time.Â
As it turned out, you had a lot to say. Both of you. You hadnât been nearly as good at hiding your feelings from Joshua as you had been at hiding them from yourself. He had hoped you were going to admit them to him after that night at his apartment. Instead, you avoided him. Yes, he knew that you had been avoiding him. You also werenât very good at picking up on the signs he dropped about his feelings for you. He admitted that he could have just said something, but he was trying to be subtle so he didnât scare you off. Trying to let his actions speak through more affection. You admit you were scared to think it was anything more than it actually was. Scared of your feelings. Scared of getting hurt again. Joshua completely understands that and admits that heâs a little scared, too, because youâre definitely more important to him than he was anticipating. Heâs also confident that you can work through it together. It gives you a feeling of hope. Makes everything about you feel lighter. You see that relief reflected in Joshuaâs eyes when they scan yours.Â
The car pulls to a stop and he gets out first. He holds his hand out to help you out of the car. Youâre not really sure what comes over you.
âCome up with me,â you ask, but itâs more of a statement.Â
He hesitates, conflicted. âI donât know if I should.â
âWhy?â you ask, clearly confused.
âI donât know if Iâll be able to leave,â he answers and you smile.
âThen stay,â you shrug, âat least for breakfast.âÂ
Without waiting for him to respond, you turn and head for the front door of the building. It means you miss the way he freezes in place, but you can guess at that by how long it takes before he catches up to you. Heâs unusually quiet and still beside you as you go up the elevator and then behind you as you unlock the door.Â
âIâm gonna go change,â you announce after you drop your keys by the door. You look back at Joshua, appreciating him in the tuxedo one last time. âIâve got some clothes in the spare room that should fit. Theyâre Jeonghanâs âÂ
You take the opportunity to breathe for a second, to let it settle in that you asked Joshua to come in with you and stay the night. Then, you set about changing out of your dress. Carefully clean your face free of the make-up. Brush through your hair and twist it back off of your face. Once youâre in comfy clothes and bare faced, you head back out into the living room. Itâs odd that you donât even feel self-conscious about Joshua seeing you like this, youâre instantly comfortable.Â
Joshuaâs back is to you in the kitchen. When he turns around, you see that heâs put together a little platter of snacks. You also were right, the t-shirt and shorts he picked out seem to fit him well. Jeonghan is a little slighter than Joshua, but he wears most of his clothes on the baggier side.Â
âThanks for the clothes,â he says when you both meet on the couch. âI was worried when you said you had spare clothes they were gonna be from an ex or Johnny or something.âÂ
Your laugh is sudden and clearly catches Joshua off guard. âI wouldnât have kept any of Johnnyâs clothes. I gave them all to charity.âÂ
âIâm sure he was thrilled with that,â Joshua laughs.
âThey made a killing reselling them,â you laugh in response. âWanna watch something?â
âSure, you pick,â he says.
You start clicking through your saved list to find something that the two of you can watch. Once you settle on something, Joshua motions you over. Even if you want to pretend youâre considering it, you canât. Every part of you wants to be close to him. When you slide over, he pulls you in tighter to his body and you fit like you always belonged there with him.Â
If you thought he was physically affectionate when he was pretending, itâs nothing compared to now that he knows youâre both in this. He has one hand running along your arm or the other along your thigh. Sometimes he reaches out to take one of your hands. Other times he presses kisses into your hair. Itâs pretty clear right away that heâs not paying much attention to the show.Â
If youâre being honest, youâre not really either.
Everything is distracting. The way his fingers on the bare skin of your arm raises goosebumps. The way his kiss in your hair makes your eyes close in appreciation. The way he squeezes your thigh and short circuits your brain.Â
You canât help it. You turn your head so that you can look at him. He caresses your cheek, so gentle. Runs his thumb across your lip. Youâre holding your breath, just waiting to see what heâs going to do. When you feel like youâre going to go a little bit insane, his hand moves to the back of your neck and pulls you in. Itâs exactly like the first kiss before the wedding. At least, at first. Itâs gentle, but full of so much desire. Itâs also slow, like thereâs no rush to any of it.
The position is really uncomfortable, though. You shift your legs so theyâre draped over one of Joshuaâs. He doesnât miss a beat. It just allows him to pull you closer. Thereâs something incredibly intimate in kissing him like this. Thereâs this weird contrast of desire and comfort. Itâs heated, but also a little lazy. Like you have all the time in the world. Which you do, you think, now that youâre being honest about your feelings. When Joshua pulls back from the kiss, you chase his lips for a second before realizing that heâs pulled away. The way he looks at you nearly melts you into the couch.
âI donât want to assume where this is headed, but maybe we should take it to the bedroom?â he asks. Itâs cute, the way heâs a little shy. Like you didnât invite him in to spend the night. Yeah, youâre in way over your head. At least it seems like he might be too.Â
You pull your legs back so that you can stand up. His eyes track your movements as you reach your hand back to him. He accepts it without a word and lets you lead him to the bedroom. Even if heâs seen your bedroom before, this feels different. Youâre waiting for him to look around, but his eyes are glued on you. Joshua even waits for you to lead him all the way to the bed, so you direct him to sit on the edge.Â
Once Joshua is seated, you step between his legs and tilt your head down to kiss him. He wraps his arms around you so that he can pull you against him. Thereâs barely any space between you. It sends a little bit of a shiver as his hands run up your back and back down. The touch is gentle and caring. Like heâs trying to put everything he feels into it. Something about it just makes you feel so insanely safe.Â
Heâs the one to break the kiss again, but this time itâs to move back onto the bed and grab your hand to pull you along with him. Itâs easy to just follow suit and get comfortable laying next to him, bodies facing each other. The kissing picks up when your lips meet again. Joshua kisses you breathless with a passion youâre eager to explore. One of his hands rests on your hip, casually sliding beneath your shirt and caressing up your side. You press your body further into his and capture his moan with a kiss. It feels like youâre a bit drunk off each other.
When Joshuaâs hand moves back down, you take the chance to throw your leg over his hip, allowing you to press further into him and feel how this is turning him on. Part of you knows that heâs still waiting for you to set the pace. Or that he wants things to be a little slower. So, you help him out and roll the two of you over so that youâre straddled on top of him. Putting his hands on your hips, you lean over to kiss him again. In this position, you can also grind into his lap. You delight in how heâs already getting hard beneath you, enjoy the way his hands grip the soft flesh of your hips.
He pulls back and looks at you with blown pupils. âBaby, please donât tease me.âÂ
âNo silly pet name?â you tease him.Â
âNot when youâre getting me this turned on like a horny teenager,â he whines.Â
âYou mean like this?â you ask, injecting as much innocence as you can when you slowly drag your clothed pussy across his dick again.Â
Joshua throws his head back, eyes squeezed shut, and grips you tighter. âYes.âÂ
âSo you donât like it?â you ask, grinding a little more.Â
âFuck,â he hisses out. And somehow thatâs the thing that almost breaks you. Why is that one swear so hot on his lips?Â
Without saying anything, you sit up a little bit, still making sure youâre straddling Joshua, so that you can pull his shirt off him. Your eyes go wide because youâve never seen him shirtless. Youâve seen him in well fitted suits or shirts, but this is entirely different. His chest looks like it was sculpted by an artist. All your attention is on your fingers running along his chest and you donât see the way it makes him a little shy.Â
His hands reach for your own shirt, playing with the hem like heâs asking permission. So, you move his hands aside and pull it over your head, leaving your skin bare as well. You watch him drink you in, feeling almost empowered by the desire you see in his eyes. He pulls you back towards him so that he can get one of your breasts into his mouth. The way he teases your nipple with his tongue has you clenching around nothing. You can feel how wet itâs making you and try your best not to squirm when he moves from one breast to the other.Â
âI need you,â you utter.Â
âI need you, too,â he says against your skin. His hips buck up into you almost involuntarily.Â
You slide off of him and pull your shorts down and he gasps that you donât have any underwear on. It isnât like you were expecting anything, you just wanted to be prepared. While heâs still a little drunk on the sight of you fully naked, you help him discard the rest of his clothing. The sight of his cock springing free, precum leaking out, has you wanting to get your mouth on him.Â
But, youâre realizing, what you really want is to feel him inside you. After so much tension and wondering, you just want to have this moment together. You want to be as close as two people can possibly get. You want all the intimacy and to be able to see his face. Itâs this thought that pushes you back to the bed to lay with him.Â
Joshua repositions and runs a hand down your body. Lets his fingers run along your thighs and tease their way up to gather some of your wetness. Your eyes close as he runs a finger up your slit. Itâs such a little amount of contact and it makes you moan anyway.Â
âDamn, are you this wet just for me?â he asks and presses a kiss into the first bit of your skin he can reach.
âI want to feel you,â you admit. Joshua makes you press a finger into your pussy, but you stop him. Confusion takes over his features.
âI thoughtâŠdo you not want this?â he asks.Â
âI do, but I wantâŠI want all of you,â you admit. âI want to feel you deep inside of me. I want to be completely ruined by you. I want to come together.âÂ
âShit,â he hisses, hand stilling against your body. âOn one condition.â
âWhatâs that?â you ask.
âI want to taste you soon,â he says, pressing a kiss into your shoulder.
The thought of him between your legs makes you shiver. Itâs almost enough to forget that you want this first time to be together. âDeal.âÂ
âDo you have condoms? I wasnât exactly expectingâŠâ he says, trailing off.
âThat drawer,â you say and point.Â
He rolls himself off of the bed to open the drawer. Youâre not sure why you expect his hands to be a little unsteady when he rips open the wrapper and rolls it onto himself, but heâs so calm. Maybe itâs just you thatâs a little nervous. At least, thatâs what you think until you catch the look on his face. It has to be the same as yours, naked want mixed with a little bit of uncertainty. Everything else has been so easy with you, what if this is where it goes wrong?Â
âJust lay back,â he urges you, voice calming any lingering nerves. His voice drops to a whisper, like the next statement is just for him. âYouâre so beautiful, every single inch of you.âÂ
It makes your heart constrict in a way that youâre not really prepared for. It would be nice if your feelings could stop flooding in all at once like a dam breaking. Itâs overwhelming. You do as he says, though, and lean back against the pillow. Joshua gently spreads your legs apart and takes another moment to appreciate you. He canât seem to help himself from running a finger along your entrance.Â
Even though he would fully be within his rights to tease you, he doesnât. He lines himself up at your entrance and looks to you for final confirmation. All you can manage is a nod. You know he wants to hear you, but you canât bring yourself to form the words. So, he accepts the nods and slowly presses into you.
âFuck,â you hiss as you adjust to him.Â
âAre you okay?â he worries.
âFeels good,â you say with a slight whine. âItâs just been a bit.âÂ
He presses the rest of the way into you and then stills so you can get used to him. Itâs really overwhelming. Not just because youâre finally feeling him inside of you. More so because heâs looking at you with more adoration than youâve ever felt in your life. Like this is it for him. Like youâre it for him. Itâs too early to be thinking of love, but you really donât know if anyone has ever loved you so completely. You think heâs probably it for you too.Â
Once he finally starts to move, you know itâs going to be over entirely too fast. He starts with slow thrusts, testing what you want. You dig your fingers into his arms as a way to ground yourself. To anchor yourself to him and in the moment. When he picks up the pace, your mind goes entirely blank. Itâs just the right speed. While you love the hard and fast fucking, thereâs something so much more intimate about this kind of in between speed.Â
âGod you feel so good,â he whines as he snaps into you again. âSo tight and perfect.âÂ
âYouâre so - oh my god,â you moan out, unable to finish the sentence as he hits you just right.Â
Joshua moves one of your legs so that itâs over his shoulder and presses further into you, hitting deeper than you were prepared for.
âFuck, Joshua, holy shit,â you scream out.Â
âLove the sound of my name on your lips,â he manages as his thrusts pick up pace.Â
You want to respond that you love saying it, want to say anything, but the thrusts are entirely too much. As if it wasnât already too much, Joshua adjusts again so that he can press his thumb against your clit. He rubs circles in time with his thrusts and you think that you might see stars. You throw your head back, eyes pressed shut.
âLook at me, baby. I wanna see you when you come,â he urges, his own voice sounding ragged.Â
Despite wanting to focus on the pressure building between you, you do as he asks. Your eyes meet his and itâs that look that makes that coil snap. Youâre coming hard and digging your fingers into whatever you can find to release some of the tension in your body. This might be the best orgasm youâve had.Â
When you come back to this plane, Joshua has stilled inside of you. One of his hands gently caresses your face as he mumbles quiet praises. Itâs so impossibly tender.
âItâs okay, sweetheart, you can move,â you assure him.
âThank fuck,â he mumbles.Â
His pace now picks up to something fast and hard with one of his large hands anchoring your thigh to his body. Your hands grip any part of his body that they can reach and you relish the way he hisses when your nails drag patterns down his skin. Marking him so that he belongs to you. Just as you belong so completely to him.Â
It seems impossible but you can feel the tension building low in your stomach again. His thrusts are so hard that you feel like his cock might split you open and something about it just works for you. You hadnât thought anything about him would translate to this kind of hard and fast sex, but itâs somehow better than you could have imagined. With him so focused on chasing his own high, you rub circles on your clit to bring yourself over the edge again. You tumble over the edge for a second time just as Joshuaâs thrusts get erratic. You do your best to take over the rhythm before slowing down.Â
Joshua collapses on top of you, cock still buried in your pussy, and sighs. His weight on top of you feels like the best security youâve ever had. Your hands find their way into his hair, gently stroking and scratching his scalp. As he comes back around, he presses his head further into your hand.Â
âHey,â you say when he looks up at you.
âYouâre perfect,â he responds and you canât keep the smile off your face.Â
âYou were pretty perfect yourself,â you say.Â
âAm I too heavy, I couldâŠâ he starts and you pull him tighter against you.
âDonât you dare,â you warn.Â
He doesnât say anything, just nuzzles his face into your neck. But, you know that you canât stay like this forever. So you donât protest when he gently pulls himself up and gets out of the bed. Youâre right behind him, leading him into the bathroom so that you can get both of you cleaned up.Â
After getting cleaned up, dressed, and doing your respective night time routines, you and Joshua are settled back into your bed (on top of a fresh set of sheets). Although youâve never been much for falling asleep cuddling, you canât imagine leaving any space between you and him. When he wraps himself around you, all you can do is smile and settle deeper into his perfect chest. Honestly, every inch of this man is perfect and youâd be annoyed if you werenât so helplessly attached to him.Â
And itâs the best sleep youâve gotten in a long time. You wake up with his chest pressed into your back and his arm still wrapped around you. It sounds like heâs still asleep based on his breathing and so youâre just considering slipping out of the bed. He moves in his sleep and pulls you tighter against him, making you feel that heâs semi-hard again. You press back against him, almost testing if heâs really asleep.Â
Heâs not.Â
Joshuaâs hand, already against the skin of your stomach and underneath your shirt, moves further up to your breast. His hand squeezes your breast and then he brushes his thumb over your nipple. Your body responds to his touch embarrassingly fast, which only seems to spur him on. Heâs got your nipple between his fingers before you press back into him again, wiggling your ass against his dick without pretending youâre doing otherwise.
âGood morning beautiful,â Joshua says in a raspy voice into your ear.Â
The warmth of his breath along with the pressure of him rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger has you suppressing a moan. In the quiet of the morning, he hears it anyway. He removes his hand from your breast and you want to pout at the loss of contact. That is, until his hand works down between your legs, roughly grabbing hold of your pussy through your shorts. He runs his middle finger through your folds, likely feeling the way your shorts are getting soaked through already.Â
âFeels like someone might have woken up ready,â he says into your ear, voice sinfully low. His finger is still slowly teasing you through the damn material of your shorts. Somehow that makes it feel hotter.Â
âI wonder why,â you retort, undermined by the way you squirm under his touch.Â
âDo you want me to stop?â he asks and stops his movements.Â
Your hand immediately moves to his. To guide him back to your cunt. âPlease donât. Want to see what those hands can do.âÂ
His mouth is still by your ear, so you hear the dark chuckle and feel the air tickle you. He moves your hand aside along with your shorts as he slips his hand inside the fabric. His middle finger resumes the previous pattern almost lazily. Youâre about to ask him to stop teasing you when he presses a finger inside you suddenly.
âFuck,â you nearly scream.Â
âIs someone a little sensitive?â he teases. Heâs a fucking demon and you would gladly sell your soul so he didnât stop.Â
The way he pumps his finger inside of you is entirely too slow. But, when you try to meet his rhythm, he stops. Just when you think you might actually die, he inserts a second finger. It makes your back arch, pressing your ass further against his now very hard cock. He hisses and pulls his fingers out from you. As youâre turning over to adjust your position, you see him insert his fingers into his mouth. Holy shit. He really is the hottest man youâve ever met.Â
Instead of letting you carry on in any way, he pushes himself up and repositions. Youâre not really sure what heâs doing until he reaches for your shorts to pull them off. His focus is on you, silently asking for permission again. All you can do is nod.Â
âTold you that I wanted to taste you,â he reminds you once your shorts are off.Â
âAre you sureâŠâ you start to ask before he cuts you off.
His head snaps up so he can meet your eyes. âIâve been waiting to taste you for weeks.â
That shuts you up pretty effectively. What can you really say in response to that? Anything you might have said dies in your throat as he licks a messy stripe up your folds. He quickly settles, using one hand to keep you spread open for him, and licks into you. Itâs all you can do to keep your eyes on him as his head bobs between your legs. You thread your fingers through his hair to keep him in place even though you know heâs not going anywhere. (And okay, maybe itâs more to ground yourself to him than anything else.)Â
It shouldnât be surprising that his attentiveness translates this well, but it is a little surprising how well he seems to know your body. The way he knows just when to switch from licking into your cunt to flicking his tongue over your clit. The way he knows when he needs to add a finger and then a second. The way he can tell everything your body needs before you even realize it.Â
By the time he pulls himself up your body, heâs got you nearly panting from the build up. The kiss he presses to your lips is sloppy and a little desperate. Like youâre both totally fucked out. His fingers inside you keep a relentless pace as he hooks them, hitting that perfect spot.Â
âFuck, fuck, fuck,â you yell out, breaking the kiss. Your whole body feels like itâs on fire in an entirely different way from the night before.Â
Thereâs nothing in the world but Joshua and the way he coaxes everything out of you. The way he has you squirting on his fingers. Youâre not even sure if the praise coming out of your mouth makes any sense and youâre definitely not sure what he says in return. Itâs all you can do just to appreciate the moment.Â
You think that youâre going to get the chance to get your mouth around his cock now that heâs given you another mind blowing orgasm. But, by the time you get your breathing under control, you see that heâs rolling a condom from your drawer onto himself. He pulls you to the edge of the bed so that your legs are hanging off. Itâs instantly stronger than youâre expecting from him and pulls a gasp from you.Â
Without even thinking, your legs fall open. Joshua seems to have found a bottle of lube, too, and spreads it over his cock. When he lines himself up at your entrance, you expect him to ease in like the night before. He doesnât. He snaps his full length inside of you in one motion and youâre so overstimulated, but it feels so good.
âFuck me, Joshua, oh my fucking god,â you say and clench down around his dick.Â
âShit, that feels so good,â he hisses.Â
âYou feel so good,â you moan.Â
âYou have no idea,â he answers and starts thrusting.Â
Itâs a complete haze from the moment you hear his skin slap against your own. Every coherent thought leaves your head. There is nothing in the world but you and him and the way you make each other feel. He leans over your body, crowds your space. Steals sloppy, desperate kisses. Praises you constantly and in broken sentences. Itâs all you can do just to hold on, so sore and so unable to stop.
Your hands grip into the sheets around you that are completely rumpled. You try everything to keep your eyes on Joshuaâs face. Memorize the way he looks when heâs concentrating. Appreciate how totally gone he is because youâre sure itâs the same look you have. Delight in the way his eyes get even wider when you clench your pussy around him.Â
It feels a little like heâs using your body to chase his own high, except thereâs total comfort in that. All you want is for him to feel as good as you do. All you want is for him to get that release, especially since you havenât been able to get your mouth on his cock yet.Â
âHarder Joshua, please. I know youâre close,â you beg and he obliges immediately.Â
Even though youâre trying to meet the rhythm, you canât. Itâs too erratic and too unpredictable. So you pull him down to you again and kiss him. Slip your tongue inside his mouth and let the kisses get as sloppy as they need to. You feel how close he is and only kiss him harder. He breaks the kiss for the last few thrusts, groaning as he comes. Youâre right there with him.Â
(Later, he tells you that heâs never seen anyone hotter than you when you come. It would make you embarrassed in any other situation. But, you realize that youâve never been with anyone thatâs come close to him, so maybe itâs okay to accept his praise. Maybe you deserve it. Maybe this is the person that youâve been waiting for.)
Now, you really do have to get up and clean up. As tempting as Joshuaâs offer to shower together is, you donât want it to turn into shower sex because thatâs just not sexy (or practical). Neither one of you can seem to guarantee keeping their hands off the other. Instead, you tell him that he can use the shower in your guest room. Itâs fully stocked and there are still more spare clothes in there. He insists that he should get some laundry going because you must be running out of clean sheets and you definitely made a mess.Â
With Joshua cleaning up some around the house, youâre the first out of the shower and dressed. Pleasantly sore in the kind of way you really enjoy. Youâre sitting on the couch and scrolling through your phone, trying to decide if you want to order food or just cook what you already have. Before you can make a decision, thereâs a knock at the door. Itâs impossible to guess who it could be. Even Jeonghan wouldnât bother you like this. Although heâs been texting asking for an update after you told him you finally got your shit together, he wouldnât show up like this.Â
When you open the door, youâd give anything for it to just be Jeonghan. Instead, you see a face that youâve been seeing entirely too much lately.
âWhat are you doing here, Johnny?â you ask with a heavy sigh.Â
âI need to talk to you,â he says.
âWhy?â you ask.
âCome on, donât be like that,â he pleads.
âJohnny, itâs the day after your wedding. What the fuck are you doing on my doorstep?â you ask, arms crossed.Â
âAre you really going to make me do this in the hallway?â he asks.Â
âI donât see any reason to invite you inside,â you retort.Â
âItâs about your, uh, boyfriend,â Johnny says a little awkwardly.
âJoshua?â you ask because that actually piques your interest a bit.
âCan I come in?â he asks.
âNo. What about Joshua?â you ask.
âThis is really awkward. It would be better if we were sitting downâŠâ Johnny starts.
âMy little honeybun, is everything okay?â Joshua asks from inside the apartment. He must be out of the shower.Â
âBabe, we talked about the pet names,â you remind him as he joins you at the door.
âOh, uh, I wasnât expecting him to be here,â Johnny says.
âIâm her boyfriend, so I know why Iâm here. What are you doing here?â Joshua says without hiding any disdain. "Are you really her boyfriend, though?" Johnny challenges. You stiffen almost imperceptibly, but Joshua must notice it because he wraps an arm around you protectively. "Of course I am. Why are you here?"
âI needed to talk to her,â Johnny says stiffly.
âAbout you, apparently,â you say with your eyes on Joshua.Â
âRight, so can you give us a minute?â Johnny asks with his eyes on Joshua.
âNo, he canât. If you have something to say, just say it. Then you can leave us alone,â you say.
âFine, if you really want it to be like this, fine,â Johnny says. âI knew he looked familiar when I saw him at your parentsâ house with you. It just took me a while. I ran into him at a couple of functions back when I was in college and traveling all around for my dad.âÂ
âOkay? And? Iâm sorry, but Iâm not sure why I care,â you say even though you know where heâs going.
âHe was always with older women,â Johnny presses.Â
âCan you just make your point so we can get back to our day?â Joshua asks.
âFine,â Johnny says, irritated. âThe whispers were that women paid him to come to the events with them. That he was selling himself to them.âÂ
You actually snort at the phrasing. It takes you several seconds to compose yourself. You wonder what the point of Johnny doing this and if itâs his way of trying to keep you on the hook. Then you realize that you donât really care what he does. For the first time in forever, youâre genuinely happy.Â
âIâm glad you think this is funny,â Johnny says.Â
âNot that itâs any of your business, but I know how Joshua helped pay for his education. And like why am I going to give him a hard time over seizing an opportunity? Thereâs nothing wrong with profiting off of someone wanting his company platonically,â you say.Â
âYouâre assuming he wasnât also sleeping with them,â Johnny says, a little stubborn.
âNo, Iâm not assuming. I know he wasnât because weâve talked about this. He told me all about it without even being prompted. And unlike certain people in my life, I have absolutely no reason to doubt him. I know I can actually trust him,â you say. âIt was also years before we met. Weâve all got history.â
âNice dig,â he says.Â
âItâs not a dig, Johnny. Not everything is a slight,â you say with a sigh. âWhere does Gabby think you are?â
âWhat?â Johnny asks.Â
âYour wife,â you clarify. âWhere does she think you are?â
âOh, well, thatâs not important. I just said I had some errands to take care of,â Johnny says and you roll your eyes.
âWeâre done, Johnny,â you say.
âWait,â he says as youâre moving to shut the door. âI know I fucked up, butâŠâ
âThereâs no buts. Not anymore,â you say. âMaybe there was a point where Iâd want to hear the buts and the apologies and all that. Iâm happy now, though, and you canât even tell your wife that you came to see your ex-fiancee the day after your wedding.âÂ
âItâs not likeâŠâ he starts and you start to close the door at the same time.
âItâs exactly like that. Goodbye, Johnny,â you say.Â
The second you close the door, you feel a giant weight lifted off you. You just feel tired. Itâs obvious that there arenât any feelings there anymore, so him pretending he cares as a pretense to see you just feels irritating.
âAre you okay?â Joshua asks, eyes raking over you.
âYeah, Iâm good,â you say.
âYou sure?â he asks.
âYeah, really. I think I knew when I saw him at my parentsâ house that time you came over for dinner that I was completely over it,â you say. âIâm sorry he tried to bring something like that up or make it a big deal.âÂ
âI donât care. Itâs like you said, I did it and Iâm not ashamed of that,â he says. âBut, uh, I really wanted to thank you.â
âFor what?â you ask.
âFor defending me and for saying you trust me,â he says. It makes you a little shy for a second, so you look down.
âOh, well, itâs not a big deal,â you say.Â
Joshua closes the space and tilts your chin up to look at him. âItâs a huge deal to me. I know we started pretending, but trusting me means the absolute world.âÂ
âYou make it easy,â you admit.Â
That seems to render him a little speechless as well because all he does is pull you into him in the tightest hug heâs ever given you. Your body fits into his like a puzzle piece. Which sounds sappy, even if in your head, and you donât actually care. Itâs the safest and the happiest youâve ever felt.
âWhat?â he asks when you pull away.
âNothing, I just think this is going to work,â you say.Â
Joshua smiles at you, that genuine smile he saves for when heâs at his happiest. âYeah, I think so too.âÂ
i hope you enjoyed this fic! let me know your thoughts đ
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we've already done it in my head | spencer reid x reader
You have fantasies about Spencer, and you feel bad about it when you have to see him at work. Thing is, he has fantasies about you too.
wc: 4.8k, rating: explicit
tags/warnings: professor!spencer, post prison!spencer, bau!reader, fem!reader, sexual fantasies, masturbation, daddy kink, getting together, hookups, friends with benefits (?), mentions of public sex/exhibitionism (they don't actually do it), fucking with feelings but neither of them really realise it yet lol...
a/n: i am insane and that's all i'll say about this fic. jk i started this at the top of the month and i'm glad i've finally finished it. this was such a crazy one to work on, aside from being swamped with school work. thank you to my lovely friend from twitter vic who kept encouraging me to work on this hehe. inspired heavily by taylor swift's guilty as sin? (obviously) and chappell roan's picture you just for those horny yearning vibes yknow? please enjoy this insanity!!! (crossposted to ao3)
Spencer rushes in from the university when Emily calls. Itâs a serious case, one that Emily decides Spencer needs to be pulled away from his teaching for. She doesnât feel good doing it â the whole team knows how important teaching is to Spencer, but he understands all the same when he comes into the round table room. Spencer sits down at the last empty seat next to you, his hair a mess as he sets down his things and flips open the case file. He turns to smile at you, before Penelope starts the case brief.
Itâs a long, tiring day of work after landing in California, the BAU having been called in to investigate the murders of young moms in the area, and you need a glass of wine and a nice hot bath to even fathom everything youâve seen today.
You should just turn in for the night, the Bureau being particularly kind with their budget as you all get individual rooms. Your drowsiness should put you fast to sleep, but your mind is racing with thoughts of Spencer.
Spencerâs been in his nice suit all day, filling out his shirt nicely. Youâve noticed his stubble growing in, and his hair is messy and gorgeous. You canât help yourself for feeling this way, as guilty as you feel about it. Youâve been harbouring your crush on Spencer for way too long, in the couple of years since you joined the BAU. Spencer is a sight for sore eyes for sure, but his kind gentleness despite the horrors of what you all do for work is a welcome reprieve.Â
While his sweet nature was what had you falling for him in the first place, Spencer could be extremely sexy, even if he didnât know it.Â
Today was especially tough for you. You and Spencer were sent in to interrogate a particularly uncooperative suspect, playing into the good cop-bad cop dynamic. Your coaxing wasnât doing anything, and Spencer had ended up raising his voice in an attempt to intimidate them. Heâd slammed his hand on the table, a loud clang against the metal, and his large figure only served to crowd the suspect in to scare them further.
You only got to know Spencer after the mess that was him getting wrongly sent to prison, but Spencer supposedly wasnât like this before prison. Still, you found Spencerâs quiet intimidation incredibly attractive, and you had to keep your composure in the interrogation room earlier.
And your mind drifts to Spencer from earlier, his rough callousness with the suspect, his glare wild and intimidatingly sexy, you end up thinking about him.
About Spencer, who is so kind and sweet with you and the rest of the team, seeming like he couldnât hurt a fly.Â
About Spencer who could also be domineering and intimidating. He seems like heâd only pull it out if you asked, but the duality has you hot under the collar.Â
Your eyes slip shut, mind swirling with thoughts of Spencer, about having him all to yourself, about him wanting you.Â
About his large hands on you, making you feel so small under his firm grasp.Â
About him pinning you down on the hard, cool metal of the table in the interrogation room.Â
About him caging you in with his arms, the look in his eyes almost crazed and full of lust for you.Â
âSpencer,â you gasp, before Spencer kisses you fervently. His stubble is rough against your skin, but you donât care. Spencer kisses you like heâs a starved man and youâre his next meal, with such desperation that you feel weak in the knees.
âYouâre gorgeous,â Spencer says. He kisses your jaw, down your neck, and his large hands are all over your body. You feel so secure in his grasp, he feels you up and drinks his fill of you. He gropes your tits, your thighs, your ass, manhandling you into spreading your legs, so he can press the hardness of his cock to your cunt. âLook what you do to me.â
You whimper, fully indulging in this wet dream as you slide a hand into your underwear. âSpencer,â you gasp.
âYouâre so hot, you make me feel crazy,â Spencer hums, rolling his hips against you. Youâre separated between layers of fabric, but Spencer humping you like this turns you on to no end.Â
You rub at your clit in tight little circles, your wetness aiding the slide as you get yourself off to the thought of Spencer.
âSpence,â you moan, frustrated. While Spencerâs hardness grinding against you is literally a dream, you want to imagine his cock buried inside of you. Youâre perfectly capable of moving this along, so you do.Â
Magically, Spencerâs clothes are off and so are yours, the perks of a fantasy being that you donât have to awkwardly stumble through taking your clothes off. You have a hazy picture of what heâd look like naked in front of you. You imagine toned muscle, a slight pudge to his tummy from his time in prison, his pecs filled out nicely. You imagine his cock would be pretty, as pretty as he is, veiny and thick and all sorts of perfect.Â
âYouâre too fucking good to me, baby,â Spencer groans, the blunt head of his cock pressed up against you now. He rubs off against you, sliding over your clit, your folds, over the wetness leaking from your whole. âGonna fuck you so good, just like you deserve.â
Without hesitation, Spencerâs cock slips into you, the perfect thickness to make you feel full as he slides in inch by inch.Â
You slip your fingers into yourself, aided by how impossibly wet you are just at the thought of Spencer, and your groan weakly. Two fingers arenât enough, not when you bet Spencer could fill you up, like heâd split you in half on his cock.Â
He pushes into you until heâs pressed flush against you, buried inside of you to the hilt. He starts to pound into you, like heâs uncaring of what you need, but the way he treats you turns you on impossibly.
Your fingers arenât enough to satiate you, but you thrust them in and out of you in an effort to mimic how Spencer fucking you might feel. You moan, a little louder than youâd like.
âSpenceââ you gasp, in your fantasy. It should be scandalous, Spencer taking you over the table in the interrogation room. You donât know if the thought of people being behind the one-way mirror turns you on or not â being watched, letting Spencer take you in front of everybody. You like the thought of Spencer being so obsessed with you, so desperate, needing to fuck you right where you work.
The metal table is cool and harsh against your hips, but you donât care if it hurts as Spencer fucks you relentlessly, quickly taking on a brutal pace. Itâs exactly what you need, what you want Spencer to do with you, being rough and frantic enough to make you scream his name.
You whimper his name under your breath, bashful even while in your fantasy.Â
Spencer has you pinned down, but itâs not like you intend to get away. You want to savour this even if itâs only in your mind, shameful as youâre getting off to the thought of your coworker. You just need this out of your system, need Spencer out of your system, and then tomorrow you can face him like a normal, well-adjusted person.Â
âFuck,â you gasp, palm grinding against your clit, fingers pressed inside of yourself. Youâre shaking, with the thought of Spencer fucking you until you canât take it anymore, the ideal of him in your mind too perfect, until youâre moaning into your hand as you orgasm. You sob, clenching tight around your fingers, feeling your slick gush out as you ride your high.
You donât mean to fall asleep, but after both a long day and a crazy good orgasm, you end up passing out with a tissue clenched in your hand, with your panties and sleep shorts kicked off to the foot of the bed.
---
Spencer canât stop thinking about you.
He shouldnât, not when youâre his coworker and also one of the people heâs friendliest with in the unit.Â
Spencer would say he couldnât bring himself to trust many, especially after coming out of prison, but you were the one he warmed up to the easiest. A new face in the BAU wasnât uncommon, but Spencer had found himself drawn to you. You were kind and warm to him fresh out of prison, your tenderness a welcome reprieve as heâd gotten accustomed to being back at the BAU. With your intellect and quick wit, matched with your beauty, Spencer could not help but be attracted to you â but thatâs besides the point.Â
Spencer knows how much your friendship with him means to you, and heâs certain that thatâs all you see him as: a friend.Â
Yet, he canât stop himself from thinking about you in those pants. Those pants that hug your curves just right. Those pants that make your ass look great â not that he was looking â especially when youâre leaning over an interrogation table, trying to play the good cop with the suspect from earlier.
Spencer had hung back, trying to get a read on the suspect while you spoke to him. Him getting to ogle your figure and stare at how good you looked in those pants was unintentional, but he definitely wasnât complaining.Â
Spencer only felt a bit bad wrapping his hand around himself in the shower, mind flooded with thoughts of you. Water, almost scorching, running down his body, his hand moves fast and reckless, exhaling harshly as he gets himself off.Â
He canât get you out of his mind, your gorgeous figure, your pretty face, your wide eyes and thick thighs and soft lips â he shouldnât be thinking of you like this. You were a coworker, a friend, for Godâs sake, and yet he canât stop imagining you under him.Â
He canât stop imagining pressing you against the table in the interrogation room â your lithe frame underneath him, making you look so small, making him feel so big.Â
He presses his growing problem to your perfect ass, watching you writhe underneath him. You keep looking back up at him, with your wide, wet eyes and your flushed cheeks, looking like you need him to give you exactly what you need.
âPlease, daddy,â you whine, and Spencer is groaning and undoing his belt before your pants get pushed down too. Stroking his cock quickly, Spencer easily finds his way to your entrance, wet and dripping with your slick. He pushes into you, pressing kisses to your neck as you groan with the intrusion.Â
âDaddy,â you whimper, âFeels so good.â
âYeah?â Spencer coos at you. Spencer feels you press yourself back up against him, pushing his cock deeper, and he loses all sense of control as he starts to fuck you hard. He feels like a madman, unable to hold himself back as he takes and takes and takes, fucking into your tight wetness, his head spinning with how good you feel around him.Â
Youâre whining and moaning under him, your noises music to Spencerâs ears as they echo off the walls. Your cunt is wet and sloppy as Spencer fucks you, wanting to give you everything you need and more.
âFuck, baby,â Spencer groans, his hand tightly fisted around his cock. The way the tip of his cock leaks is easing the slide, as he pictures in crystal-clear detail how your cunt would draw him in, slick and messy be fucks into your perfect, tight cunt. âYouâre too good to me.â
âDaddy,â you sob, your hands clawing down Spencerâs back. Spencer gropes you greedily through your clothes, grabs your tits and feels his fill of your waist, your perfect ass, your thighs as he rocks himself back and forth between them.Â
âGonna cum inside of you, love,â Spencer grunts, his pace unrelenting. His hands are on your thighs, gripping you tight, both fucking into you and dragging you onto his cock over and over. âYouâre gorgeous. Gonna make a mess of you.â
Youâre whining underneath him, making him feel too good, as you clench around him tight and moan even louder. Spencer canât help himself, thrusting into you hard and fast and eager until heâs cumming.
He spills into his hand, the thick white ropes of his cum washed down the drain with the spray of the shower from above him. Visions of you flash through his mind, your gorgeous frame, your pretty face, your mouth on his.Â
Heâs barely towelled off before heâs knocked out in his bed, too tired to even process feeling guilty about jerking off to you.Â
---
Sure, perhaps itâs childish to try and avoid Spencer all day, especially when you have an active case all of you need to be working on. You must be a fool to think that getting yourself off to Spencer would help, because all you can think about is your fantasies of him last night, how you imagined him bending you over and taking youâ Not helping, you remind yourself.
Emily must secretly be on your side or be able to read your mind or something, because Spencer is relegated to work on geographic profiles and speed-read through case files back at the police precinct, while you get sent out onto the field to chase down your killer.Â
But you canât avoid Spencer forever, and you arenât any good at it either. You feel like Spencerâs eyes are on you the whole day when you and him are in the same room, but you never look up at him to find out. While you could chalk up your nerves to a serial killer still being out on the streets, you donât have any more excuses at the end of the day when youâve finally caught him, and the team decides to get dinner to celebrate.
You purposely wedge yourself between JJ and Emily when you sit down at the table, trying to avoid Spencer, and you think youâre successful with getting away with seeming a little out-of-it when you end up slipping away early, claiming you had a rough sleep last night.
Youâve barely settled down in your hotel room for the night, finally feeling like you can relax, when thereâs a knock at your door. You have no clue who it could be, but you open the door, andâ
There Spencer is.Â
âHi,â you say curtly, feeling embarrassment wash over you all of a sudden, because all you can think about is getting off to the thought of him last night. You feel your cheeks warm, but you hope itâs not obvious that youâre blushing. Then, in an attempt to seem somewhat normal and well-adjusted, you add, âWhatâs up?â
âI should be asking you that,â Spencer says, his eyebrows furrowed slightly. âWhatâs up with you today?â
You press your lips together in a thin line before you say, âNothingâs up. Iâm fine.â
âCome on,â Spencer prods, his head cocking to the side as he deadpans. âYou know I can read you like an open book. Somethingâs up.â
You frown, Spencer stoking the flames of brattiness in you. âYeah? Tell me whatâs the matter, if you can read me so well.â
Spencerâs eyes widen slightly. You watch his Adamâs apple bob as he swallows.
âI- I thought we said no inter-group profiling,â Spencer says, his voice a little weak, and for the first time, you see Spencer look a little helpless. Itâs kind of hot.Â
Do you make him⊠nervous?
âYeah, but if you insist on thinking somethingâs up with meâŠâ You shrug, smiling. Spencer just blinks at you.
No. You couldnât possibly entertain the thought.Â
Spencer clears his throat. You watch him fidget with his hands just slightly, before he puts them by his sides to seem confident. âWell, youâve been avoiding me, on purpose or not â both attest to your desire to avoid me somewhat. You could barely look me in the eye all day, which means you might be embarrassed or guilty of something, likely having to do with me.â Spencer says, his voice even, but he isnât looking at you.Â
You raise your eyebrows. His explanation is both specific and vague, and you feel slightly called out and safe from his scrutiny at the same time. But, you canât shake off the feeling that thereâs something more to Spencerâs words, the way heâs looking at you like he hopes you canât pick his brain apart.Â
So, you turn it back onto him, âThen, what do you think is the problem? You arenât looking at me either, and you were fidgeting with your hands. Is something up with you, then? It almost sounds like youâre projecting, Dr. Reid.â
Spencer freezes, like heâs a deer caught in headlights. You can practically see his brain running a mile a minute, overthinking every possible outcome, overly self-aware of himself, his actions, his thoughts.
You try to stop yourself from smiling, because Spencer is kind of cute like this. âYou wanna tell me what it is then, Reid?âÂ
âWhen did this become about me?â Spencer squeaks, his usually cool facade quickly disappearing. Thereâs a look in Spencerâs eyes, as he nervously looks you up and down, and ohâ âI justâ Well, Iâ Youââ
âIâm thinking we might be on the same page, here,â you say, smirking. âWanna tell me what it is?â
Spencer furrows his brows, his mouth agape as he looks up at you, but youâre putting your hand on his chest and trailing it down slowly. âOhââ
âTell me, Dr. Reid,â you cock your head, eyeing him up and down lazily. When you look at Spencerâs face, heâs shocked, enamoured and turned-on all in one.Â
âYouâre⊠attracted to me,â Spencer says, somewhat uncertain. âThe same way Iâm attracted to you.â
âAnd what makes you say that?â You hum.Â
âI thought I heard you last night. Through the walls,â He says timidly, nothing youâve seen from him before. âThought I shouldâve gone over to help, but I realised you were, umâ You were pleasuring yourself. To- To me.â
âThe walls are thin, huh?â You laugh, a little sheepish, but you note how Spencerâs becoming shy at the thought. âDid youâŠ?â
His eyes grow wide. âDid I do what?â
You smirk. âThat tells me everything I need to know, Reid,â you say, laughing.
âWell, you shouldnât presumeââ
âShut up and kiss me, Reid,â you huff. You pull Spencer closer to you by his tie and you press your lips to his.Â
Itâs too perfect, when Spencerâs mouth is finally on yours. His hands cupping your face, Spencer kisses you hard and eager, like he canât believe that he finally gets to have you. He kisses you like heâs starving, desperate for you as his next meal. You moan as his hands reach for your hips, pulling you in closer to him, greedy as he feels you up.
âDid you fantasise about this too? About me, like this?â
âThis is better than I couldâve ever imagined,â Spencer says breathily. âYou⊠Youâre so attractive.â
âCould say the same about you,â you laugh, reaching to unbutton his shirt. His tie is already loose, hanging around his neck, but you want to see more. You undo the top few buttons, revealing more of his chest. You trail your finger over the exposed skin, letting your nail graze it slightly. You hear Spencer inhale sharply, and grin to yourself, proud of the effect you have on him. âSo, do you want to just stand around and talk, or do you want to fuck me?â
Spencerâs eyes widen, and you chuckle. As if he hadnât expected this was how it was going to go. Spencer purses his lips. âI mean, absolutely. I want to fuck you. But, umâ We should definitely talk about this though.â
âLater,â you say, waving him off, before you lean in to kiss him again. Spencer grabs your waist again, like he needs to have you close. He lifts you slightly, making you squeak, but the both of you stumble over to the bed, unable to keep your hands off of each other, unable to keep your mouths off each other. You sit down on the bed, Spencer crowding you in with one of his knees on the mattress.
You loosen his tie and take it off, while Spencer moves to unbutton your shirt. HIs hands move deftly, eager to undress you, and he pulls away to marvel at the curve of your breasts in your bra when he pushes the satin shirt off of you. âWow.â
âWow yourself,â you say. You appreciate the view: a dishevelled, eager Spencer Reid in your bed, his hands all over you, his shirt half-undone, revealing tanned skin and a gorgeous body. âNeed you to fuck me right now.â
Spencer laughs, perhaps a little incredulously, and he instead moves to take his shirt off instead. âIâll- Iâll do that.â
âGood,â you say, distracted as you admire Spencerâs frame, the lines of his body, the softness of his stomach. Heâs so hot you might die. âVery good.â
âIâm glad you like the view,â Spencer says, a little timid, like heâs shy to show off in front of you. He meets your gaze when you look up at him, caught in the middle of ogling him with no shame.Â
You smile up at him sheepishly. âPlease fuck me, Spencer.â
âOkay,â Spencer smiles, warm and gentle. He helps you slide your pants and underwear off your legs before you spread them. Spencerâs jaw drops, his eyes focused on the slick mess of your cunt. âOh, my God.â
âYeah?â you laugh, thoroughly amused with his reaction. âShow me how much you want me, too.â
Spencerâs hands are quick to push down his bottoms, dress slacks and boxer-briefs on your floor in an instant, wrapping a fist around himself as he works himself up for you. You canât tear your eyes off of him â âSpencer, youâre⊠big.â
âAm I?â Spencer asks, and youâd lose your mind if you werenât expecting Spencer to fuck your brains out.Â
âYou are,â you say calmly, because if you let yourself sound any more excited he might think you were insane. âBut I can take you.â
Spencer grins. âGood.â
His fingers press against your cunt after you tell him to do so. His slender digits pick up all the slick thatâs leaking from your hole, spreading it around messily as he toys with your clit. You shudder with the sensation, throwing your head back against the pillows. Then, one of his fingers slips into you, and he coaxes you open with a care you havenât felt from most partners before. âHowâs that?â
âSo nice,â you groan, getting used to the feeling. He fucks you on his fingers, slow and careful, intent on stretching you out until youâre comfortable. You whimper and whine, feeling embarrassed at how vocal youâre being, but Spencer is kissing your breasts without a care in the world, and then youâre thinking about letting him know that you do feel good. Your next gasp is less ashamed, as Spencer coaxes a second finger in.
Youâre panting as Spencer fucks you on his fingers, the repeated motion only working you up even more. The squelch from his fingers fucking you is obscene, and his eyes are wide as he looks at you. âYouâre perfect,â he whispers.Â
âFuck me, Spence,â you say.Â
Spencer bites his lip as he sits up and settles between your legs. Heâs tugging at his cock as he lines himself up with your entrance. He slides his length along your folds, wet with your slick, and you groan at the friction. You grunt, wanting more, âCome on, Spence.âÂ
His hand on your leg, Spencer leans forward so he can press into you, and Spencer is practically folding you in half so he can fuck you. You moan at his thickness deep inside of you, filling you up, and the stretch is so undeniably amazing. Spencerâs length drags against your walls, such a delicious sensation deep in your bones, and you sob a little.
âDoes that feel good?â Spencer asks softly, his voice tender.Â
âSo good, Spence,â you gasp. Spencer kisses your cheek, down your neck, and waits patiently for you to give him the go-ahead.
You feel his cock twitching inside of your heat, both your fantasies unable to live up to the real thing. Confident, cocky Spencer in your dreams is just that â a dream. The Spencer right in front of you is perfect, more perfect than what youâve dreamed: shy but so attentive and sweet. He takes such good care of you. It makes you lose your mind a little bit.
âFuck me,â you insist, and Spencer puts his hands on your hips as he starts to move. He fucks you deep, just the way you need him, and you cry out as he digs into your soft flesh, holding you tight so he can fuck you hard. The way Spencer pounds into you has your whole body trembling, pleasure coursing through you like electricity, till your mouth has fallen open and your toes are curling.Â
âYouâre so much better than I imagined,â Spencer groans, eyes squeezed shut as he puts all his energy into railing you. âCanât believe this is real.â
You clench around him just to hear him moan, and youâre proud of yourself when his hips stutter and a groan rips through his throat in his pleasure. He glares at you. You grin, as Spencer keeps fucking you.
âWhat- Oh, fuckâ What did you imagine? With me?â You gasp, as Spencer rolls his hips in a particularly deep thrust.
Spencer squeezes his eyes shut, before looking down at you, like heâs really contemplating if he should say this. âIâ I pictured bending you over the interrogation table. Fucking you, making you scream my name, taking you right there, Iââ
You moan as Spencer hits that perfect spot inside of you, your legs trembling as you gasp, âIâ Why did we have the same fucking fantasy? Fuckââ
âWhat? You thought of me that way too?â Spencer sounds incredulous, like he canât imagine you thinking of him that wayâ As if he isnât drilling you into the hotel bed right now.
âFuck, Spencerâ Oh, my Godâ Yeah, Iâ You had me pinned down on the table, and you were fucking me in the interrogation room, in front of all of themââ
âGod, youâre perfect,â Spencer grunts, burying his head in your shoulder as he uses the leverage to fuck you deeper, harder, faster. You canât stop moaning Spencerâs name, simply too overwhelmed with the pleasure heâs giving you, the way heâs fucking you into the mattress. This is all youâve ever wanted. Spencer fucking you like a madman, giving you all the pleasure you need but still being greedy enough to take and take and take.Â
âPlease! Spencer, youâ Iâm gonna cum, I canâtââ You cry, sobs wracking their way from your throat, so loud but you canât be bothered to keep yourself quiet. Spencer groans your name, a sweet, sultry sound, and you feel like youâre going to lose your mind.Â
âCum for me,â Spencer hums. âYouâre so perfect, and youâre laid out like this all for me. Youâre so fucking hot. Show me how good I make you feel.â
Youâre sobbing as your orgasm hits you, overwhelmed by Spencerâs filthy words and his filthier actions, so intense as he fucks you into next week. Itâs too good, and you lose yourself much sooner than you expect. Your pussy clenches tight around Spencer with your orgasm, sending him over the edge as he fills you up, cock twitching as he cums inside of you.
He collapses on top of you, his weight comfortable as you both catch your breath. Your mouth feels dry, but you donât care when Spencer is leaning over to kiss you again. It feels so right, this wild feeling you only thought existed in your dreams.
The next morning when the team is gathered in the hotel lobby to head to the hangar to fly back to Quantico, Emily gives you a pointed look, and Rossi is clapping Spencer on the back with a knowing grin. You apologise sheepishly, while Spencer grows red, avoiding eye contact with the rest of the team. He only meets your eyes, and the two of you share a smile. You can tell neither of you want this to end here. Maybe youâll talk about it when you get back home.Â
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencerreidenjoyer writes
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LET ME // t. nott
RATING: R / 4.8K WORDS
Theodore Nott x Fem Reader
+ SUMMARY - *Requested, based on this* Theodore Nott has been harassing you ever since he found out you had a crush on him. Now, youâve been paired together for a project for McGonagallâs class and he has nothing good in mind.
+ WARNINGS - SMUT! (P in V), unprotected, sub!reader, Dom!Theo, slightly rough!dom!Theo, marking kink, slight size kink, bulge kink, brief dumbification, brief spit kink, reader wearing a skirt, light enemies to lovers, language, one (1) slap, name-calling, praise kink, slight degradation, public sex, fem!reader, oral (fem!receiving), Theo is persistent, not proof read (lmk if I missed any)
+ MUSIC (listened to while writing) -
Echo - XANU
- - -
Merlin, forgive whatever you had done to deserve the treatment you were currently receiving.
You thought back on every negative deed youâd done in the last year and still hadnât found anything worthy of your horrendous luck.
The arrogant boy turned to stare you down, malicious intent etched into the unfortunately gorgeous features of his face.
You could feel your face contort into an expression of horror as you tore your eyes away from him and turned to Professor McGonagall.
âProfessor, Iâ you started.â
âAll partner decisions are finalâno exceptions!â McGonagall finished, as if trying to answer the question you had before you could even voice.
You deflated into your seat, your mood dropping like a brick. If you didnât know any better, youâd have guessed the entire class was staring at you. The entire student body of Hogwarts knew how you felt about your new Transfiguration project partner, Theodore Nott. The bastardâŠ
You glanced back at upâarms crossed and lips pouredâjust to find the boy still staring you down, evil smirk painted on his lips. He gave you a sardonic wave, wiggling his fingers tauntingly.
âFuck,â you sighed, pressed an exasperated fist to your forehead.
Your knee anxiously bobbed beneath the desk, the heel of your uniform shoe beating against the floor in a flurried rhythm.
Luna Lovegood, your best friend, was sitting directly next to you. Intuitive as she always was, you knew she could feel the pure panic radiating off of you. Her hand rested on your shoulder in a small motion of comfort, but nothing could calm you now. You were utterly screwed.
McGonagall finished off the rest of her speech on the instructions for her project, then dismissed the whole class. Luna helped you to gather your things together as you struggled to force yourself to move.
Maybe youâd pissed McGonagall off? Merlin, what had you done to deserve this? You asked yourself the same question over and over again.
Out of the corner of your eye, you glimpsed Theodore flouncing over to you with an unnerving glint in your eyes.
âWell, arenât I just the luckiest man on earth?â he said snidely.
âFuck off, Theo,â you growled, intentionally not making eye contact with him.
You made to pick up your books and slide them into your bag, when he slammed his hand down on the cover of one of them, pressing them down against the desk. He pinned your fingers beneath them against the woodâjust enough to keep them sturdy, but light enough so that it didnât hurt you.
âStop!â You yanked your fingers out from beneath the books, the heavy leather smacking against the table with a thud. Now, you made eye contact with him.
âWhat are we going to do our project on, baby?â he asked.
âDonât call me that!â You yanked your books out from underneath his strong hold and shoved them quickly into your bag. âWe can discuss it in the library after class.â
âIâm looking forward to itâIâll be sure we get a quiet corner, you knowâŠ,â he stepped closer to you, ââŠso I can explore every inch ofâŠthe subject.â
You sneered in disgust and pulled away from him, his voice still rattling in your ears.
âYouâre disgusting,â you scoffed. âIâll see you later for nothing more than our assignment.â
âLooking forward to itâŠcanât wait to put those big brains to use. Lovegood.â He nodded politely to Luna before heading off.
You glanced at Luna and acknowledged her slight smile. Everything in you was telling you to snap at her and tell her not to encourage any of the delinquent boyâs behavior, but you couldnât find it in yourself to ever be very mad at Luna Lovegood. At least, not for long.
Instead, you rolled your eyes and took off toward the door, bag swinging between your shoulder blades.
âWait up, friend!â Luna shouted lightly, running to catch up with you. You snorted and laughed at her, letting her sunlight hair fall into step beside you.
- - -
By the time your class of the day dismissed and the sun had begun to sink beneath the Hogwarts skyline, you were soaked through with nerves. The saturation of your anxiety had managed to breach every protective barrier you held up, and fill your hands with shudders and your stomach with nausea.
The root of your nerves when it came to Theo came from the consistent comments he insisted on making toward you. It seemed that he loved nothing more than dropping sexual hints into your ear every few days just to watch you squirm. Heâd only started this after heâd heard through the grapevine you had a bit of a thing for him.
Youâd be lying if you said you didnât find him attractive, and that his words had absolutely no effect on you, but you couldnât deny that he was just as annoying as he was charming.
It had gotten to a point when he made these comments, that he loved to joke aloud about your reactions to him, effectively embarrassing you in front of all of your peers. That was your final straw. All resemblance of an attraction toward Theo had melted away and been replaced by hatred.
And yet, as your feet led you to the grand library, you couldnât stop the rapid pattering of your heart beat. Something about the boy had always been soâŠirresistible to you. Whether it was the way he always knew where to place his hands when he âaccidentallyâ brushed you, or how he knew exactly what to say when he pressed his lips against the shell of your ear. You figured you should be grossed out and tell him to get away from you, but, unfortunately, you kind of liked it when he did those things.
As you came up to one of the several library doors lining the wall before you, you decided to try and swallow your nerves and focus only on the project. That was what you were supposed to do anywayâthis wasnât a date.
You pulled one of the doors open and slipped into the warmly-lit room. It always seemed to be just a tad bit cozier here than anywhere else in the castleâwhether that was from the multiple fireplaces or the sweet aroma that floated through the air. Either way, you loved it.
Your neck craned as you glanced about, trying to glimpse the cocky boy, but to no avail. Wherever he was, he surely wasnât interested in making it easy on you to find him.
A sigh left you as you started toward the back of the library where a couple tables rested behind a few conveniently placed bookcases. Unfortunately, the feeling in your stomach told you that he surely would be sitting at one of those tables, simply because you knew how his dirty, little mind worked.
That corner of the library wasâŠinfamous for its concealed nature. Everyone in Hogwarts had heard the little rumors that fluttered about, of couples getting a bit too friendly with each other while the librarian was downstairs.
Because of those rumors, it had garnered a reputation. And if someone who had a penchant for gossip slipped past you and Theodore Nott studying back there, youâd be screwed.
Once you passed the last book case, zigzagging between the three that formed the perfect labyrinth, you came upon Theo comfortably waiting at the table in the middle. A groan of defeat left you and your head dipped back. You stared at the ceiling for a few moments while contemplating your optionsâyou could still run away.
âHello, beautiful,â Theo said, leaning his chin down on his propped up fists. âIâve been waiting so impatiently for you.â
âWhatever,â you sighed. You crossed over to the table and sat across from himâthe farthest away you could get. Your bag collapsed to the ground and unzipped itself on the way down. The things you needed for this assignment floated out and landed neatly on the table before you, including a few rolls of parchment, a quill and ink, and your books.
He marveled silently, seemingly trying to hide his fascination at your wandless magic. Perhaps if he studied as hard as you did, he would also be able to achieve it.
âAlright, shall we do this?â you asked, maintaining a bored expression.
âIâd love to,â he smirked. âBut Iâd love to showcase a bit of my magic as well, if thatâs alright with you?â
âWhatâ?â Your voice was cut off with a slight gasp as all four legs of your chair lifted off of the ground. Your fingers wrapped around the sides of your seat to keep you from slipping off.
Theoâs eyes followed your chair as it floated over the table and all the way beside him. Once your shoulders were inches from his, your chair dropped a few centimeters to the ground. A small yelp came from you as you regained your balance and glared at him. Perhaps he was a better wizard than you thought.
âWhat the hell, Theo?â you demanded, immediately scooting your chair away from him, putting a good few inches between you.
âI just thought weâd be able to work better closer together,â he purred, his arm dropping against the table to cage you against him and the bookshelf a bit to your left. You eased away from him so you were closer to the shelves than you were to him. His eyes never dropped from yours. âMerlin, what is that smell? You smell absolutely divineââ
âOkay, letâs just get this done,â you interrupted him, pushing his approaching body back away from you.
âMm, alright,â he smiled. âHave you decided on a topic youâre interested in presenting on?â
âActually, I have.â You pulled your books across the table over to where the two of you were sitting, flipping everything to the appropriate page. There were a couple pages in your notebook where youâd jotted some ideas down earlier today, and youâd figured heâd want to see the different ideas, as it was his grade, as well. âSo, I threw a couple of ideas together in my fourth period. We can see what you think of themâŠâ
As you explained the details of all of your ideas, it became increasingly obvious that Theo was not at all interested in what you had to say about the project. Though you refused to look directly at him, the corner of your eyes granted more than enough knowledge.
Theoâs eyes were ravenous as they drew down your body, curving across the most private areas of your body with no shame. You could feel your cheeks burning, but hoped the warm tones from the candles around you would conceal that.
When he scooted a bit closer to you, you kept talking. And when he laid his arm across the back of your chair, you kept talking. And when his fingers began to toy with the ends of your hair, you kept talking. But when he took your quill gently from your fingers and set it down on the table, you finally stopped. You barely made eye contact with him, constantly glancing away and down to the table. You could feel your heartbeat in your ears.
His fingers pulled away from your hair and dropped to your shoulder. They squeezed the hard muscles a few times.
âGod, you seem tense,â he spoke lowly, his voice barely above a whisper. His other hand reached up and matched the oppositeâs position on your other shoulder.
When he placed a gentle amount of pressure, it expressed a small sigh from your lips. He was right. You were very tenseâin general, but especially around him.
âHere, let meâŠ,â he stood and appeared behind you rather quickly.
âTheo, I donât think this is appropriate. Iâd really justââ Your voice cut off as soon as he began to roll your taut muscles beneath his nimble fingers. Your eyes fluttered shut at the sensation, pleasurable jolts of pain shocking across your neck and down your back.
âThatâs okay, baby,â he whispered, dangerously close to your ear. âFinish telling me about your idea. Iâll just loosen some things up back here. Fuck, youâre so tight.â
He pressed an especially hard drive against your skin. You bit back a moan at the sensation. You donât think youâd ever had a better massage in your life.
You wanted to tell him to stop, but it felt so fucking good. And you really were sore around your neck and shoulders.
âTheo?â you tried again.
âRead.â His voice had a commanding tone to it. One hand released your shoulder briefly to grab your books and slide them closer to you, before returning to its position against your skin.
His hands worked their way up around your jaw, cupping it gently, so he could press his thumbs against the back of your neck. You audibly sighed this time without intending to. Embarrassed, you attempted to cover it up with a clear of your throat.
You began to explain the rest of your project plan, small shudders rippling through your voice every time heâd hit an especially sore spot.
By the time he finished and pulled his hands away from you, your body was mourning the loss of him but relishing in the relief it felt. It honestly hadnât felt far off from a professional massage.
âHowâs that?â He walked around to your side, still not sitting back down.
âEr, good,â you chuckled nervously, rubbing your hand along the back of your neck, trying to spread the relief around.
âPerfect,â he smiled, gently swiping his index finger beneath your chin. He sat back down beside you.
âSo, what do you think?â you asked.
âAbout what?â
âThe project ideaâŠâ
âOh, yeah, I think itâs wonderful,â he said, shrugging a bit. âI think we can work with it.â
âTheo, did you even listen?â you asked, rolling your eyes.
âOf course, I did,â he chuckled. âItâs just not easy to focus when you have such a gorgeous partner.â
There went your cheeks getting insanely hot again. He thought you were gorgeous? There was no way. Someone must have put him up to this, right? Or he was fucking with you because he knew you had had a bit of a crush on him.
âIâerâŠâ you stuttered hopelessly, pulling your eyes away from his.
He placed a hand on your knee. You could feel the warmth of his skin through your tights. The heartbeat in your ears picked up wildly.
âDonât be nervous around me.â
âWhat?â you laughed suddenly. âIâm not nervous, Iâm justâyouâre just reallyâŠfriendly? I donât know. Why are you pretending to be so interested in me? Did someone put you up to it?â
âWhy would someone have put me up to flirting with you?â he asked, genuinely confused.
âBecause they know I had a thing for you,â you blurted before thinking. âI meanââ
âNope! Canât take it back now, my love.â Theo chuckled, an evil smirk printing across his lips. âAnd, for the record, no one put me up to flirting with you. I just want to.â
His hand slid up to the top of your knee as he leaned a bit forward.
âTheo!â you hissed. âWeâre in the libraryâyou canât do that.â Though you verbally protested his actions, you couldnât deny the heat building in your stomach at his touch.
Despite the conviction you had for needing to decline him and all of his advances, you couldnât seem to suppress the need you felt for him right nowâa different kind. His eyes remained on yours and refused to look away.
The two of you were in the library, and had seemed to despise each otherâs company only minutes earlier, but for some reason, you couldnât force yourself to stop his rising hand.
Soon, his fingers were toying with the edge of your skirt and his lips were millimeters from your own. You could feel his gentle breath against your cheeks.
âTheoâŠ,â you shuddered at his proximity. His thumb slid slowly down the side of your thigh, the contact eliciting chills along your legs.
âYouâve wanted me for months,â he murmured, lips brushing against yours. âAre you finally going to let me fuck you?â
You gasped slightly as the tip of his thumb just barely brushed your core through your panties.
âSay yes, or Iâm not going to touch you anymore.â
As if on cue, his hands pulled back from you and his mouth seemed to hover a few inches away. The cold air hit the spot his hand had been occupying on your thigh and sent a row of shivers up your spine.
âI donât understand. Is this a joke?â you shuddered.
He shook his head slowly. âNot a joke, I just want you. Say yes, baby.â
âYââ before you were even able to get the singular syllable out, his lips were pressing against yours and devouring them like a predator.
His hand found its place against your thigh again, the other hand following suit on the other thigh. He pushed them up the expanse of your skin, inching your skirts up in the process.
You moaned against his lips in embarrassment at the sudden loss of dignity.
âDonât worry, sweetheart,â he sighed against your mouth. âLet me taste you.â He pressed his lips roughly back to yours.
You gasped for air and pulled away, noses brushing against the other. âSay please,â you managed to choke out.â
âWhat?â
âSay please,â you repeated. âWhat, did you think I was going to come here and just give you whatever you wanted?â
âOh, thatâs how youâre going to be?â he smirked. You stared back astutely, not yielding to any teasing he tried to give.
âAlright, baby,â he conceded. He pulled himself closer to you and worked his way up your neck and to your ear, pressing chaste kisses against your flesh. âPlease let me taste this sweet cunt. âve been dreaming about it for months.â
You shivered at his words before nodding. You werenât in your right mindâyou couldnât be.
He slid out of his chair and dropped to his knees. His hands wrapped around your hips and yanked you to the edge of the seat. His fingers pushed your skirt up around your hips and angled you up toward his face, pulling your legs over each of his shoulders.
The cool air flushed against the hot wetness slathered across your thighs. But the shock of wintry air was canceled out quickly by Theoâs hot mouth placing against your clothed core.
Your head fell back against the chair as your hands flew to his honeyed curls.
He swirled his lips across you, gathering your lust on his tongue. Each time you let a little moan slip, heâd echo you with his own louder one. It wasnât loud enough to be heard anywhere else in the library, but it was enough to vibrate against you and send your head spinning.
The second your thighs began to shake on either side of his sharp jaw, he pulled away from you, leaving you bare and wanting.
âTurn around,â he panted, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Obstinately, you held your chin up and refused to obey him. You wanted to appear strong and resistant as payment for how much of a dick heâd been to you, but with your quivering lips and legs still spread wide for him, you figured you didnât quite get the point across.
He suddenly grabbed your jaw in one hand, while undoing his belt buckle with the other. Anticipation boiled in your belly.
âTurn around,â he said before suddenly and mockingly tilting his head to the side. âOr do you not understand whatâs good for you?â
When you said nothing, he pulled you out of the chair and bent you over the library table. You yelped as your chest collided with the table.
Once on your stomach, he flipped your skirt over against your back and ripped your panties and stockings down your legs until the soaked things were stuck around your ankles.
Then, without another warning, he was sliding into you and stretching you wide. You gasped aloud and gripped at the smooth table, begging to find purchase on anything.
He moaned slightly at the way you clenched around him. He pushed himself into you a little more with each slow thrust, the movement splitting you down the middle. His hands held you tightly in place by your hips, pinning you down against the table.
âShit, you feel fucking perfect,â he moaned, fingers gripping into your flesh.
Every alarm bell was ringing in your head, telling you to separate and cover yourselves, because you were in public. But, for some reason, you found yourself loving the thrill of possibly being walked in on; of possibly being found with Theodore Nott buried deep inside of you, taking his pleasure from your body.
By the time heâd finally bottomed out inside of you, he was panting and willing himself not to come prematurely.
âIâve never felt anything this tight,â he groaned.
You hadnât been able to see the size of him before he started pushing into you, but you had to guess he was the biggest youâd ever felt. Just having his hips pressed to your ass felt like the tip of him was brushing your cervix.
âAh, fuck, wait,â he said, panting heavily. He rubbed your back as he slowly pulled all the way out of you and stood you up. He turned you around to face him and laid your back against the table.
He brought your legs around him and you hooked them together behind his back. You watched him with deep admiration as his fingers stroked up and down your legs, preparing to explain what he wanted.
âI want to watch me fill you up,â he whispered, leaning down to press a slow kiss to your lips. It was sweet and thick with saliva but, despite everything else heâd so far, this set off a flurry of butterflies in your stomach.
His hands came away from your legs and wrapped around your waist. He watched addictively as his fingers wrapped entirely around your body, his large hands positively dwarfing your small frame. And you couldâve sworn you saw his eyes fill with an inky, black glint as he brought his hips to the underside of your thighs.
He placed his dick on your stomach, reveling in how far up your stomach it went. He moaned at the sight and pulled your right leg up and over his shoulder. He pressed a small kiss to the side of your calf.
âTheo,â you whined, still reeling from the loss of him inside of you. âPlease, no more teasing.â
âBe patient, baby,â he whispered against your leg. âI want to remember this moment.â
âTheo,â you urged once more. But his hand came down hard against the outer side of your thigh. You yelped at the pain that radiated down the side of your leg.
âI said to be patient.â He soothed the pain gently with his fingers, still looking down at how big he looked compared to you.
One of the things heâd always had on you was height. No matter if the things he said were stupid and undermining, you couldnât deny that his size was enough to have the high ground.
âLook, we donât have all the time in the world,â you sighed, leaning up on your elbows to speak with him. âThe librarian could walk in here at anyââ
He pushed back into you, choking any other words in your throat. You gasped and fell back against the wooden table, the cold lacquer biting into your flesh.
âFuck,â Theo all but whined. He pressed his fingers against your lower abdomen where his dick had created a perfect impression. Every time he pulled out then pushed back in, his sheer size forced the body wall up and simultaneously probed a spot inside of you that had your eyes rolling backward.
Without wasting another second, he picked up his pace while dropping his hands down to your still-tucked in uniform shirt. He ripped the material out from beneath the waistband of your skirt, and ripped the buttons apart.
The candles floating overhead illuminated the curves and dips of your stomach, highlighting The valley of your breasts.
Hips still pistoning into you, and left hand holding your waist still, his right hand reached forward again and ripped the clip of your bra apart. Luckily, youâd worn the front access one today.
At the force of the destruction, your breasts fell apart from one another, bouncing against your dampened chest.
âFuck,â he growled. âGonna mark this beautiful body. Gonna let everyone know youâre mine. My girl.â
His words sent shockwaves through your system. You tried to reach for him but you couldnât reach. Your arms fell back down against the table, your lack of anything to hold on to leaving you completely at the mercy of the pace he decided to set.
âT-Theo,â you stuttered, your voice breaking beneath the weight of his abuse.
He leaned down, pushing himself all the way into you for a moment, and latched his lips around a mouthful of your left breast. He sucked roughly on the flesh, pulling the blood to the surface. You whined through the pain that mingled with the pleasure from him below.
Once he was satisfied with the bruise painted on you, he moved toward your neck, sucking and biting just as rough, hips never halting.
âThatâs it, baby,â he whispered. âTell me how it feels.â He nibbled on your earlobe.
You said nothing, your lips unable to form enough to make any words come out. Your fingers still gripped uselessly at the sides of the table. One leg was held uselessly over Theoâs shoulder while the other dangled limply over the edge of the table.
He leaned up. âTell me how it feels, baby.â
Still, you made no sound.
âOh, you pathetic thing,â he whispered, lips pressing to your elevated leg once again. âAm I fucking you stupid? Is that what it is? Yeah, baby? Next time, Iâll shove this dick down your throat and see how quiet you are then, you dumb slut.â
Now, within the final moments before your finish, his thumb dropped to your clit and began to rub small circles into the nerves. Your mouth fell open and your back arched to the ceiling as his hips intensified. They forced your finish closer and closer until you were spilling all over him, coating your legs and his stomach.
At the clenching of your core, his release was barreling forward, as well. He came with a long groan and a slow walk down of the brutal pace heâd set with his hips. His spend mixed with yours dripped down your legs.
Finally, with him still inside of you, he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to yours. He eyed you sweetly, caressing soothing lines across your temple with his thumb.
âMy sweet girl, you did so well,â he whispered against your lips. âHas anyone else ever fucked you so well?â There was that cocky Theo again.
âMaybe like one other person,â you gasped, trying to catch your breath.
âOh, yeah? Who?â he asked, suddenly grabbing your jaw again and forcing you to look directly at him.
âHmm, Iâm not sure,â you said. âI think I forgot his name. Iâll probably just forget yours tomorrow, too.â You teased him meanly, smirk building on your lips. This was further payback for all the months of harassment youâd dealt with from him.
He pinched your cheeks together until your lips were pushed open.
âYou can forget my name, sweetheart,â he whispered roughly, âbut youâll never forget what I just did to this body.â
His eyes watched yours with an intensity like no other. Then his lips pursed, and you watched as a line of spit dropped into your waiting mouth. It was the ultimate display of humiliation, but also ownership. You belonged to Theo, now.
And even if you forced yourself to forget his name or this day in the library, youâd never wipe the taste of his claim out of your mouth.
âNow, letâs get to work on that attitude, shall we?â Theo asked, voice suddenly chipper again.
He pulled out of you and zipped his pants back up, before selecting his bag off of the chairâwhich youâd now noticed he hadnât even unpacked.
âTomorrow at 6?â he asked.
Then he Disapparated, leaving you entirely exposed and alone.
That son of a bitch.
- - -
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#creative writing#fanfiction#fanfic#writing#reader insert#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#oneshot#slytherin#harry potter smut#fem reader#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott smut#theodore nott#requested
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cam girl (part one)
pairing rafe cameron x female reader
rating explicit 18+
summary you work two jobs. by day, youâre a maid for the cameron household, where rafe degrades you any chance he can get. by night, youâre a cam girl, hiding your face so nobody can recognize you. when you discover your new subscriber, the filthy-mouthed man obsessively paying you to do everything he can think of, is rafe, youâre not sure what to do next.
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âMake sure to bend down real low.â Rafeâs deep voice startles you.
Youâre kneeling down as you fill the freezer with the groceries that were just delivered. You thought you were alone in the massive kitchen, but sure enough, Rafe is taunting you again.
You donât even need to turn to look at him to know heâs wearing a self-satisfied smirk. A depraved part of you is excited heâs there.
âIs there anything I can get you?â you mutter, your attention still focused on your work. Itâs your go-to phrase whenever he bothers you. Professional, but not exactly friendly.
âYeah, is that the only uniform they give you?â he asked. âYou donât have anything tighter?â
You stand and turn to finally look at him. His baseball hat is on backwards and his arms are crossed, large biceps bulging beneath the hem of his t-shirt.
You smooth down the loose gray knee-length dress youâre wearing and you swear heâs undressing you with his coy blue eyes. You hate that it arouses you when he looks at you like that.
Youâve gotten used to Rafe teasing you. Youâre almost sure he gets off on degrading you. There are other maids but youâre the only one he does this to.
âNope, this is it,â you say curtly. If you didnât need this job, youâd cuss this man out. Probably even slap him. But you need to stay cordial, and he knows that, riding the power trip whenever he can.
âToo bad.â Rafe knocks on the kitchen island before turning to leave. âI can tell youâre hiding a nice ass under there.â
You feel your cheeks burn as you go back to work. You only come to work at the estate on Wednesdays and Saturdays and the days canât go by fast enough.
You appreciate every dollar you can make these days as a struggling college student. Thankfully, your other job as a cam girl has been bringing in more and more money.
After you finish up your day at the Cameronsâ estate, you drive your rusted, old car to your apartment in the south part of the island. The space is tiny, but itâs yours, and itâs good enough for now.
You go live for half an hour at 10 pm every other night of the week. Getting your start as a cam girl took some time, but now you have 32 subscribers and are starting to make good money off the website.
Tonight, youâre dressed in a black push-up bra and matching thong. You never show your face higher than your lips, refusing to risk anyone recognizing you.
This is just for the money, although you can admit to yourself that you find pleasure in knowing you can turn on so many strangers with your body. You sit on your bed, your toys ready off-screen.
Over your last session, a new user with the screen-name figure8 joined your chat. It threw you for a loop for a moment, prompting you to worry it was somebody you know from the Kooksâ part of the island, but the chances are slim. Figure 8 is a general term and the man could be from anywhere.
âHey,â you say slowly. âHow was everyoneâs day? Mine was so long.â
figure8 didnât say anything the other night, just watched and subscribed at the end of the stream, but tonight, he types something a minute into the session as you sit in front of the camera, running your hands over your satin bra.
figure8: you gonna show those perfect tits?
You giggle, immediately stepping into your cam girl persona. You check to see that twelve users are now viewing your stream.
âYouâd like that, huh?â you ask, peeling off a bra strap. âAnyone else wanna see whatâs underneath?â
You notice the bouncing dots on the screen that tell you that viewers are typing.
v2bo: yes
dragon89: take it off
stonyon: play with your tits
You strip off your bra, touching yourself, your breath hitching as arousal tightens in your core.
Without hesitation, you picture Rafeâs hands on you. Heâs always on your mind during your cam sessions as you impulsively imagine his broad frame on top of you, dominating you.
You try to play it off when he taunts you at work, but itâs not until youâre touching yourself that you realize just how much it turns you on when he talks to you the way he does in his deep, mocking tone.
figure8: you like to get your tits played with?
You smirk, surprised someone is asking you what you enjoy. Typically, viewers like to simply compliment you or order you around, but you never get asked about your preferences.
âI love getting my tits played with,â you purr.
You press your arms to squeeze your tits together.
figure8: you like a cock between your tits donât you princess
The sexy nickname makes you quiver a little. You bite your bottom lip.
âIâm so wet already,â you moan. âAnd thinking about a cock right hereâŠâ
You take a dildo you keep off-screen and place it between your tits. You part your lips as you rub the toy up and down, hearing the chimes of tips from your chat coming in.
figure8: bet youâre so good at sucking dick. iâd fuck your tits and that pretty little mouth so nicely
âYou wanna see how I use my mouth?â you tease.
v2bo: deepthroat
You put the tip of the dildo on your tongue, flicking and rolling it. When you finally put your mouth around it, you close your eyes, thinking of Rafe in his kitchen, thinking of getting on your knees and sucking him off.
dragon89: put it in your pussy
A new notification pops up on your screen: figure8 is requesting a private show. Your heart-rate skyrockets.
Youâd never gotten the request before. You had set the rate at $250 for a private session, half-expecting that you wouldnât get any takers. Youâre excited about the money and the fact that this new, intriguing viewer is the one who requested it.
You quickly type privately to figure8: This session ends at 10:30 and then Iâm all yours, baby.
You continue to play with the dildo using your mouth, getting it wet all over, when a private chat comes in from figure8: how much for u to end the live and go private with me right now?
You donât want to risk asking for too much and scaring the man away, but the possibility of making more in a private session than you would in a live one is compelling.
You never know much the live sessions will bring, but a private show is guaranteed money. Ending your session early might piss off your subscribers and maybe even make you lose some of them⊠but you impulsively reply: $1000.
Within a few seconds, you get a tip notification.
figure8 tipped you $1000.
You quickly end your live session, deciding to later tell your subscribers that your internet went out, then open the private session with figure8.
âHello,â you whisper. âYou want me to be your own personal toy, huh?â
figure8: i dont like to share
You laugh. If heâs willing to continue to pay you for private sessions, youâre happy to oblige.
âWhat would you like to see?â you ask. âYou wanna see how Iâd suck your cock?â
figure8: tap it against your mouth
âYouâd tease me, wouldnât you?â you whisper. You tap the dildo on your lips, sticking out your tongue.
figure8: princess iâd go so slow with you until youâre soaked and begging for my cock
You feel yourself get wetter reading his words. Heâs not like any of the other viewers youâve had. Heâs asking what you like, calling you a sweet name, not rushing anything.
âYou want me aching for it, huh?â you purr. You put the dildo in your mouth again, slowly sucking and slurping.
figure8: that mouth is so fucking pretty
You continue to lick and suck, moaning on the toy, your panties drenched now.
âI want it inside me,â you say, realizing youâre not even speaking through your persona anymore. Youâre actually turned on by him, actually wanting to fuck yourself with the dildo.
figure8: not yet. keep sucking it
You giggle, half-frustrated, and obey him.
âYou touching yourself right now?â you ask.
figure8: yeah. wanna see?
You have the option of enabling media from viewers, but you never thought youâd want to see a stranger like that. But this man is something else. You click on the button to allow him to send you a photo.
âSend it so I can imagine you hard in my mouth,â you purr.
A few moments pass before the picture comes in. Heâs lying down in bed, showing a bit of his toned stomach, his large hand at the base of his dick. Itâs thick and long and so damn perfect.
âShit,â you whisper. âSuch a nice cock. I donât think I could fit it all in my mouth.â
Youâre not just saying it to flatter him. Heâs huge.
figure8: you could if you tried hard enough
You lick your lips, pushing the dildo deep into your mouth, gagging a little.
figure8: the way you choke on it is so hot. fuck
âHow am I doing?â you coo.
figure8: such a good girl. let me see how you touch your pussy. keep the panties on
The praise makes you ache for it even more. This started off as a job, a way to make money, but now youâre genuinely excited, wishing this guy could fuck you for real.
You tilt your laptop down, spreading your legs in front of the camera as you sit on your bed. Your thong is still on, but itâs see-through. You watch yourself on the screen, tits still in view as you put your hand over your pussy.
figure8: be slow with it
âYouâre torturing me, you know,â you giggle. âIâm not a patient girl.â
figure8: iâll make u be patient. i want u to beg
âPlease let me take these panties off,â you whimper. âI need to touch myself.â
figure8: put your panties to the side
You obey, moaning at the pleasure of your fingers finally on your clit. You rub in circles and up and down, trembling.
figure8: wish i could eat you out right now. you want my mouth on your pussy?
âFuck, Iâd love that,â you say, imagining Rafe looking up at you through his beautiful eyes as he licks your pussy.
figure8: show me how wet you are. put your fingers up to the camera
You do as youâre told, showing him your wetness as it shimmers in the white light from the screen.
âSee how much you turn me on?â you say.
figure8: take the panties off and stretch out your pussy lips
You eagerly slide your underwear off and throw them beside your bed. With your legs spread again, you pull your lips apart, giving him the perfect view.
figure8: good girl. you listen so well
You get a notification that he tipped you $500. You never thought youâd make this much money in one night.
âThank you, baby,â you giggle. âYou love this pussy, huh?â
figure8: ur so fucking perfect. i want to cum inside u. put the dildo in nice and slow, princess
âFinally,â you say. âYour cock would slide in so easily right now. Iâm so fucking wet.â
The toy fills you perfectly, making you quiver. You start to slowly thrust it in and out, but the chat chimes again.
figure8: i know youâre needy but i said slow. put the dildo in and move your hand. i wanna see it inside you
âSorry,â you tease. You move your hand so he can see the toy inside you. You watch yourself in the screen, the dildo hugged perfectly between your walls.
figure8: youâd squeeze my cock so fucking well
âWhat if youâre too big for me, hmm?â
figure8: princess weâd make it fit
Youâre nearly writhing at this point. You scroll back up to see his nude photo again, imagining it inside of you.
âYour dick is so fucking nice,â you groan.
figure8: show me how you like to be fucked. make yourself cum. donât fake it. i wanna hear u cum for real
You obey, thankful heâs finally letting you orgasm. You hold the base of the toy and plunge it in and out of you, the lewd sound filling your bedroom, and use your other hand to rub your clit. You whimper, making sure to keep your face out of frame, imagining this stranger thrusting into you.
You let the sounds of pleasure spill out of your mouth, uninhabited, knowing heâs stroking his dick to you right now.
The orgasm hits you hard, your legs shaking. Youâre panting as you look at your screen to see what he said.
figure8: i just came so fucking hard
âI wish your cum was inside of me,â you say breathlessly. You try to catch your breath as he continues to type.
figure8: whatâs ur favorite position?
âDoggy,â you say, surprised he wants to know more. âWhatâs yours?â
figure8: thats mine too. you can show me next time, princess
âYou wanna do this again, huh?â you tease.
figure8: i dont want you showing your body to any other guy. iâll pay you double what you make on your streams if you only do private shows for me
The idea intrigues you. Itâs sexy how he doesnât want to share you at all.
âHow often you want to do these, baby?â you ask.
figure8: every night. iâll give you 1000 for every show and tips for when you deserve it. i want to buy you some things and watch you use them. youâre mine and mine only
The thought of making $1000 a night is unbelievable. This guy is loaded with cash and wants to spend so much on you.
You would lose the following you worked hard to get, but youâd undoubtedly make way more money being this manâs personal cam girl.
âDeal,â you finally say with a disbelieving laugh. âSame time tomorrow?â
figure8: donât be late
The chat window notifies you that he left. Youâre still breathless, shocked at how you didnât have to fake the orgasm with him.
You scroll to find his dick pic again, as if youâre addicted to looking at it. You turn your camera off and now that you can angle your screen up, you can take a better look at the image.
Your stomach drops. The gold ring around his forefinger. The bedsheets you change twice a week. You know who it is.
The man you just orgasmed with was Rafe.
{ read part two here }
#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe imagine#rafe smut#rafe fic#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron smut#obx fanfiction#obx fic#obx x reader#obx smut#mine#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x y/n
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Dead of Night - Spencer Reid
Likes are always appreciated but reblogs and feedback keep artists going!
Summary: Spencer stumbles upon a secret dark fantasy of readerâs and does everything he can to be the one to fulfill it.
Word Count: 3.1k
A/N: This is the first time Iâve ever written anything with themes like this so feedback is definitely appreciated. Not proofread cuz this is long and Iâm tired ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ I fully understand if the themes included in this are not for some of my regular readers and I encourage you to scroll if youâre not comfortable with any of the following warnings.
TW: perv!spencer, dom!spencer, mask kink, knife play, blood, dubcon, kind of cnc but itâs emphasized repeatedly that reader initiates and is in control of what is taking place, unprotected sex, penetration, creampie, degradation (slut), pet names (doll, angel) religious imagery, gun mention, std testing mention, fem + afab reader, soulmate talk
Rating: R, 18+
ââ
You knew it was wrong, youâd seen just how easily Penelope was able to track someone down through their âanonymousâ profile on websites just like this one, but your desires got the better of you, and you just had to try.
Your profile was nondescript, your age, a vague physical description of yourself, and a link to a meticulously detailed account of your wildest fantasies. After weeks of back and forth, chatting with a few equally nondescript profiles, you found the one that you really clicked with, the stranger you decided youâd let sneak into your window and do whatever he wanted with you. After an std panel and the agreement of your safe word, you decided to fully commit, sending this complete stranger your address and logging off for the night.
Even though you knew this was a stupid idea, you werenât a complete idiot, you had plans in case anything went south, including placing your handgun in your bedside table for easy access if you, god-forbid, had to use it. Placing yourself in a high-risk situation was the whole point, and you couldnât wait to see how it turned out.
You spent the remainder of your afternoon preparing, doing every grooming ritual youâd usually do before a date, but this time felt somehow more important. You didnât even know what this guy looked like, and yet, you wanted to be the picture of beauty for him. It was silly, but you always pictured yourself the prettiest youâd ever been when you daydreamed about being ravaged by a stranger. You wanted to be completely irresistible in every way, and you were doing everything in your power to accomplish that.
As the sun finally set, your excitement levels began to rise, anxiously awaiting the arrival of your masked suitor. You opened the bedroom window just above your fire escape, the cool night air drawing goosebumps over your exposed skin, only a thin lace slip and matching panties adorning your frame. You crawled into bed, double checking your bedside drawer before pulling your comforter over your body, eagerly drifting off to sleep.
â
Spencer had been keeping a secret, one that he did not want you to know about, until today. A few weeks ago heâd stayed late to finish up some paperwork for the last case youâd been on, when his pen ran out of ink just as he was about to sign off the last document. He walked to your empty desk, reaching across it to grab a pen from the cup next to your monitor, when his arm brushed against your mouse, causing your display to light up.
He knew he shouldnât snoop, but curiosity got the best of him, scanning through the title of each tab open on your browser until a certain website caught his eye. He went against his better judgment and clicked the tab, his jaw dropping upon viewing your profile, and with it, the graphic description of your sexual proclivities. His brain immediately cemented that information in his mindâs eye, fit to torture him for days after the encounter.
He couldnât stop picturing himself fulfilling all of those desires for you, having to excuse himself to the bathroom several times a day to take care of the bulge in his pants just from being around you. He eventually bit the bullet, creating his own profile on the website and messaging you as an âanonymousâ suitor, beyond pleased when the two of you hit it off. He felt bad not telling you, but this was a means to an end that would surely leave you both satisfied, and the devious part of him won out this time.
He did everything you asked, getting tested so he could fuck you raw, he was apprehensive about the risks of a potential pregnancy even without the fear of std transmission, but the way you begged so beautifully in your messages for him to creampie you was more than enough to convince him. The moment he got your message with your address, he went out and purchased a mask to conceal his identity just like you asked, and anxiously waited for nightfall.
â
The graze of fabric against your skin gently woke you as your bedding was pulled down off of your body, your mind clouded from the deep sleep youâd been sunk in seconds before. You rolled onto your back, starting to lift your head until a large hand clamped over your mouth, forcing your head back down onto your pillow. Your eyes widened, darting around the room before settling on the masked figure on top of you. You tried to scream against his palm, but the sound simply reverberated back against you, muffled by his strong grip.
His free hand made quick work of cutting off your slip, the thin fabric splitting easily against the blade of the knife in his grasp. You struggled underneath him, weakly pushing at his strong shoulders, feigning defense as the heartbeat in your cunt grew stronger by the second. You couldnât believe this was actually happening, the adrenaline coursing through your veins making you feel almost high.
âDonât fight it.â He hushed, holding the knife flush against your neck. You slowed your movements, settling for shifting your legs against his. He removed his hand from your mouth, freeing it up to gather your hands to pin them above your head as well as give you an opportunity to use your safe-word if need be.
He trailed the knife down your body, your chest heaving with shaky breaths as the blade scratched a small cut between your breasts, warm droplets of blood forming in itâs wake. He followed the curve of your body, leaving shallow kitten scratches until he reached your hip, using the tip of the knife to carve a heart into your skin. The sting of each movement set every nerve ending in your body on fire, the wetness pooling between your thighs increasing by the second.
He pressed his thumb to the wound, smearing the blood down to the waistband of your panties, using the digit to pull the fabric before letting it snap back against your skin. You gasped, your labored breaths growing more desperate as he brought the blade to slice the fabric, exposing your embarrassingly wet cunt.
âLook at how wet you are, you love this, donât you?â The condescension in his tone felt almost half-hearted, and the more of his voice you heard, the more familiar he started to sound, but you couldnât quite place why. You looked down at him, watching his every move as you tried to place him.
He set the knife on the bed, using his now free hand to yank his pants down, his hard cock slapping against his thigh. Your eyes went wide at his size, looking just long and thick enough to have you a little worried about being able to take him raw, but the thought of being stretched to your limits sent another wave of arousal straight to your core and helped quell that fear ever so slightly.
âIf you donât want this, just say the word.â His words dripped from his lips like honey, sickly sweet, and in that moment you had never felt more sure of your desire for anything in your life.
â
Spencer wondered if the way he was feeling was akin to that of religious psychosis, so engulfed in your very being that he ought to worship at your altar for the rest of his life, fit to carry out any act you requested of him.
His brain kept your description of your fantasy scrolling in the back of his mind, catering to everything you had written to a T in hopes of making this a night youâd never forget. The only thing at the forefront of his thoughts, however, was the intoxicating sounds you made every time he gripped or marked your skin. Each note sought to pull his focus, threatening his plan as it tempted him to lose control all together. He couldnât do that, his conscience too righteous in its goal to keep you as pleased as possible.
He took his time, marking you just the way youâd requested, his cock twitching with every whimper that flowed out of you until he finally reached your core, the lace of your underwear glistening under the moonlight cast through your open window from how wet you were. He wanted to sink fully into you without a care in the world, but he had to make sure this was absolutely what you wanted. He was, to your knowledge, a stranger after all, and the last thing he wanted was for you to be uncomfortable in any way.
â
You frantically shook your head in acknowledgment, spreading your legs wider for him, ready for this tall stranger to finally be inside of you. Your eagerness spurred him on, a surge of confidence washing over him as he let go of your wrists, his large hands gripping your hips and pulling you further down the bed. He lifted your legs so your knees rested atop his shoulders, his rough movements making you gasp.
He brought his cock to your core, running the shaft through your slick folds before slapping the head against your clit a few times, the repeated hits making your hips jolt ever so slightly. He hummed low in the back of his throat, lining up his tip with your entrance before thrusting forward, bottoming out inside of you in one fell swoop.
âYouâre so tight.â He grunted, one hand holding an iron grip on your thigh to hold your leg up, the other digging fingerprints into your hip. You gasped once more at the intrusion, feeling more full than ever before as he set a steady but unrelenting pace. Your gasp turned to crying moans, brows furrowed in awe at the way his cock stretched you so deliciously, prominent veins rubbing against the contours of your sensitive walls.
Each snap of his hips had his balls slapping against your ass, the lude sound mixing with his grunts and the wet squelching where your bodies met in the most intimate way, the decibel level in the room reaching an all-time high.
You bit your lip, trying to quiet yourself to at least somewhat lower the noise and not disturb your sleeping neighbors, but the absence of your desperate moans was not lost on him. His pace slowed, his left hand firmly gripping your chin to force you to look at his masked face. His eyes met yours through the thin slit in the dark fabric.
You knew those eyes, those big, soft brown irises, so comforting, yet darker than you recognized, pupils far more blown than youâd ever seen before. You knew him, but there was no way. Your mind must have been playing tricks on you, because there was no way that Spencer Reid would do anything this perverse, let alone with you.
âLouder, slut.â He squeezed your cheeks, forcing your lower lip out from under your bite.
âI-Iâm not a slut.â You mumbled, barely above a whisper.
âOnly a slut would leave her bedroom window open, practically begging a stranger to come in and fuck her.â This was far too brazen to be Spencer, you thought, a level of blunt confidence youâd never in a million years expect from him.
âI-I didnât mean to.â You stuttered over your words, raising your voice in an attempt to half heartedly defend your actions.
âWell then, you should really be more careful next time.â He laughed, releasing his grip on your face before playfully slapping your cheek and increasing the pace of his thrusts, his now free hand finding your clit. His calloused thumb drew broad strokes over and over and over against your sensitive bundle of nerves, a knot tightening in your stomach as you drew closer and closer to your release. You turned your head, trying to bury your face in the pillow as you writhed underneath him, your body frantically looking for relief.
âOh donât be shy doll, let me see how much youâre enjoying this.â His tone was almost sing-song, clearly enjoying this just as much as you were. He pressed his body down closer to yours, almost pinning your thighs against your stomach, the change in angle forcing a borderline scream from your lungs, crying out strangled âuhâs with every stroke. You looked him in the eye, desperate to know if this deity above you could possibly be your nerdy coworker, and every interaction youâd had with him flashed before your eyes.
Every fleeting glance he took at your chest or your ass, the way he lingered behind you in the field, feeling his presence even when you couldnât see him. You couldnât think of a time he wasnât around a corner when you turned it, always near whenever you needed his help on a case. You always secretly hoped he'd make a move sooner or later, but you never thought it would be anything like this.
He was omnipotent, knowing exactly how to make you feel things youâd never felt before, pushing your body to levels of pleasure you never thought possible. You thought you might disappear, your brain short-circuiting as you tried to make sense of everything, finally understanding why the French refer to orgasms as the little death.
Your walls fluttered around him, the sounds leaving you reduced to pathetic whimpers as your vocal chords grew strained.
âThatâs it, cum on my cock, angel.â He groaned, his thrusts growing increasingly desperate. The pet name surprised you, but if he saw you as an angel, how fitting considering how godlike he felt to you in that moment. You could tell he was close, and if your orgasm was what would get him to cum inside you, then so be it. Your eyes glazed over, your hands clawing at his back as you chanted âfuck, fuck, fuckâ like a mantra, wave after wave of euphoria washing over every nerve in your body.
â
Spencer was a man possessed, his primal urges leaving his mind completely uninhibited, so lost in your body that he thought he might need divine intervention to ever leave you.
He didnât quite understand where the sudden dominant urge coursing through his veins had come from, but he didnât care to dwell too much on the thought, content to fuck you into the mattress until you screamed his name.
He knew that wouldnât happen, but he secretly hoped youâd realize who he was, wishing for nothing more than for you to want him for him. His heart felt like it may burst at the thought, the desire to be wanted as he was ever-lingering inside of it, that being the very motivation behind his lingering tendencies from the start.
As your heat contracted around him, he felt an embrace like no other, hoping the myth of twin flames to be true. If this connection wasnât proof of it, how could he rationally explain anything? He knew the scientific reasoning behind it, but it didnât feel like enough, such a finite explanation for a feeling so sempiternal.
He wondered if you felt the same way too, so lost in his every desire that he let himself dive into the delusion, using the pet name he wished he could call you every day for eternity.
Your chants and cries as you came set him free, his hips stuttering as he finally filled your aching cunt to the brim with his seed. He hovered above you, catching his breath, watching your expression soften as you rode out your orgasm, practically glowing.
When he finally snapped out of his lust-fueled haze, he fully remembered his role, pulling out of you and quickly scrambling to stand, fixing his pants and underwear. You had agreed to his departure after, and as badly as he wanted to hold you until you drifted off to sleep, he respected your wishes more than his wants. He walked to the window, lifting his leg to climb out of it when you cleared your throat, drawing his attention. He turned, seeing you sit up, hazy smile on your face.
âThank you.â You sighed, and he gave a nod of acknowledgement before slipping out of the window and into the night.
â
When you awoke, you had a couple minutes of doubt in which you thought the events of the night before had all been a dream, until you moved to get out of bed and winced at sting from the shallow marks adorning your body and the dull ache between your legs. You smiled to yourself, before looking at your phone and realizing what time it was. You were going to be late, and panic set in when you realized youâd have to go to work in the makeup youâd fallen asleep in last night.
You rushed out the door, checking your makeup in a compact mirror in your car, wiping a small bit of smudged mascara off of your brow bone before walking into work.
âFun night?â Derek quipped as you walked through the doors, always the first to poke fun at your perceived escapades.
âYou could say that.â You laughed, setting your handbag on your desk before joining the team to walk to the conference room.
âWhat happened?â Penelope asked, almost panicked, taking your arm in her hand and pointing to the only visible cut on your body.
âOh thatâs nothing, I just scraped my arm on my car door.â You reassured, smiling at her. As much as you loved your best friend, she didnât need to know the truth of your little white lie.
âYou should really be more careful next time.â Spencerâs voice came from behind you, his hand gently resting on your hip before squeezing right where the heart shaped cut from the night before was inlaid in your skin. His words reverberated in the space between your ears as your brain processed what heâd just said.
Realization hit you like a semi truck, your lips parting in shock. Your suspicions had been correct, and you almost wanted to turn around and kiss then interrogate him right there. You couldnât do that though, having a full work day in front of both of you.
Now you just had to figure out a time and place to broach the subject with him without completely humiliating yourself.
ââ
part 2 can be found here
tag list: @pleasantwitchgarden @lover-of-books-and-tea
DM me or send me an ask if youâd like to be added to my general or spencer reid taglist :)
#dividers by cxrrodedcoffin#spencer reid#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer x reader#spencer reid smut#criminal minds#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds smut#knifeplay#knife k!nk#mask kink#mask k!nk#knife tw#dubc0n#mine#my writing#gun tw#pervert!spencer#perv!spencer#1k
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obvious
â©â merchant!qimir x acolyte!reader | fluff | angst | humor | 2.3k
SUMMARY | during an evening of drinking with qimir, he strangely asks if you've ever thought about dating your master.
WARNINGS | kissing, drinking, implications of a spicy time post-story
RATING | teen+
NOTES | again this is probably outside of canon but all i can say is ilq (i love qimir)
///
In the lower level of Qimirâs newest target of a store invasion, several drunken bottles of alcohol and used shot glasses clutter the front counter. You sit across from him on a high stool, as if you were a customer to his bartending.Â
Which wasnât quite far off, since he was the one who poured and bought everything for you tonight. Qimir had called for a celebration; you had successfully raided a small village nearby, seizing all valuable goods and leaving no witnesses behind. You did it for yourself, but also for your anonymous masterâthe same one Qimir serves.Â
While you are your masterâs dedicated pupil, Qimirâs tasked with being your resourceful guide. He follows you across the galaxy, always having anything you need at your disposal and knowing where to go, who to find, and how to concoct everything from anything.
Sure, he may be clumsy and occasionally overly inquisitive, but youâve grown to like him.Â
So much that you're retelling the time when a female Gungan tried to fight you in a cantina on Tatooine.
âAnd so, it turned out they thought I was the one who stole her ex-boyfriend, but it was the human at the table next to mine!â
Qimir breaks into a smile and nearly spits out the lomin ale in his mouth. After a fit of coughing and swallowing his drink, he shakes his head fondly. He seems truly amused and fully relaxed, though perhaps mostly due to the alcohol.
A few beats pass. It's a comfortable silence at first.Â
But then he starts playing with the stem of his bottle, and the air slowly begins to shift. It shifts entirely when he asks the next questionâ
âWhy aren't you like this around him?âÂ
Him referring to your shared master.Â
The mixture of spicebrew, lomin ale, Corellian wine, and whatever else you had has lowered your filter completely. You answer frankly, folding out your fingers to list the reasons.Â
âFirstly, he needs to get me drunk. Secondly, heâs not you, Qimir. And third, disregarding everything I just said: how do you know I'm not?â
âAm I wrong?â he presses, his eyes fixed on you as he raises an eyebrow and takes another swig of his drink.
âI mean, if he eventually shows his face to me, maybe I could. But until thenâŠâÂ
Nonchalantly, you lift a shoulder and down the rest of whatâs in your cup. After finishing, you lean back onto the counter, resting your chin in your upturned palm, and wait for him to fill your cup again.Â
And so he does, but Qimir becomes uncharacteristically pensive. Eyes focused on serving you, rather than on you. After pouring your drink, his playfulness with the bottle turns into a tight-fisted grip. Maybe drunk Qimir was more somber. Quiet.
âMaybeâŠâ His voice drops to a lower, deeper register than youâre used to, his eyes avoiding yours as his mouth tightens. An index finger rhythmically taps against his bottle, like a dooming countdown. âMaybe heâs not sure if youâre loyal enough to see his face.âÂ
The sudden slamming of your cup against the counter breaks his demeanor, and heâs back to being his usual, easily-startled self.Â
âWell, that frustrates the shit out of me because I respect him!â you cry, almost yelling at him.Â
Qimirâs gaze sharpens, giving you his entire attention, and you stare back resolutely. Readying yourself, as if confiding in him might reach your masterâs ears, wherever he may be. Hell, he probably was listening with a device somewhere on Qimir, on you, or within the store. Â
âI obey him. I've killed for him. Iâd do anything for him,â your voice slightly wavers, but you push on. âI am literally devoted to him with every breath in my body.âÂ
Thereâs a sting in your eyes, but you refuse to let yourself show weakness, even if itâs just Qimir in front of you. Bringing the cup to your mouth, you let the burn scald your throat, drowning any trace of sadness or frustration.Â
You chug for some time. After a while, Qimir lifts a hand, but you abruptly stop drinking and interject with a tired chuckle and small smile; he awkwardly drops his hand.Â
The serious moment passes swiftly with a twinkle in your eye. You silently thank the alcohol for that.
âAlthough, maybe that's half a lie.â
In the corner of your vision, you catch the intrigued quirk in Qimirâs eyebrow, along with a flicker of anger. Barely noticeable, but itâs there, and you wonder why he would be angry.
You waggle a finger. âKeep this between us, butââyou lean in closer and drop your voice to a whisperââI'm probably more devoted to you than to him.â
You exchange a glance, and the expression on his face shifts from seriousness to amusement, the flicker of anger completely dissipated. He mirrors your earlier stance, resting his chin in his palm.Â
âThat's only because I help you all the time,â he says, granting you a soft smile that reaches his eyes.Â
This is a rare moment from Qimir, so you try your best to commit it to memory. Remembering his warm glow, the crinkles around his eyes, and how close he is to you. So close that the hint of the alcohol in his breath brushes your face, but itâs not as strong as you thought it would be.
âWell, there's thatâŠâ you admit, nodding, and you break eye contact as you sayâ
âBut you're also my friend, Qimir.â
You barely breathe the last few words out in a whisper, almost as if you were ashamed to say it. But you arenâtâworry merely runs rampant as you fear rejection or something of a similar shade, despite it being just a platonic confession.Â
âI am?âÂ
His reaction causes you to peer back at him. He draws his head back with a tilt, and youâve never seen him so puzzled before. Thereâs a brief pause as he gives it some thought, his eyebrows furrowing in contemplation.
Then, he nods his head and his lips curl into a crooked, almost cocky, grin.Â
âHuh. I guess I am.â
You clutch your chest in jest and muster your best puppy-eyed frown. âOuch, if I knew this relationship was that one-sided, I wouldâve asked him for another one of his followers to replace you.âÂ
The glimmer in his eyes reads as good-natured, but the blatant flexing of his grip against the edge of the counter says otherwise.Â
âYou wouldn't.â  Â
You push back, jutting out your chin and getting close to him again with a flash of a smirk.Â
âOh, I absolutely would.â
You stare at each other, holding your ground.Â
But then he breaks the little game when he slightly drags his lower lip between his teeth, followed by a fleeting glance towards your mouth.
Your breathing hitches.Â
In an instant, the moment shatters when Qimir clears his throat and pulls back. Â
âDo youâŠâ Qimir begins hesitantly, his thumb absentmindedly rubbing a random spot on the counter. He inhales deeply, almost as if heâs steeling himself, then continues, âHave you ever thought you and him could be, like, something more?â
âYou meanâŠâ You squint, searching for the right words. â...have I ever thought about dating my master?âÂ
âMm-hmm.âÂ
You raise an eyebrow and stare blankly at him.Â
âYou've met him, right? Weâre talking about the same guy?â
Before he answers, he sips again from his bottle. You become entranced by Qimirâs Adamâs apple as it bobs with each glug. Maybe these thoughts were being filtered through beer goggles, but if Qimir wanted to know about your current ranked dating choices, he'd probably be at the top of your list.Â
A soft pop sounds as his lips detach from it. The word kissable flashes through your mind.Â
âI mean, I know he's not really the talkative type butââ
âBut what if he's butt-ass ugly?â you blurt out in a screech, pressing your hands into your cheeks in your drunken state.
âHe is not butt-ass ugly,â Qimir cuts in, more defensively than you expect.Â
You drop your hands and chortle loudly, so much that it echoes throughout the store. In disbelief, you grin ear to ear.Â
âI thought you said you haven't seen him before!â you say, holding out an arm.Â
âIâI didn't. Haven't! I havenât,â he stammers, raising a hand and shaking his head. He runs a hand through his disheveled hair. âBut why must you assume he's ugly?â
You groan, shaking closed fists and tapping them to your forehead. âWhy else wouldnât he take off that stupid mask?âÂ
You glance up, seeing Qimirâs nostrils flare as he opens his mouth, but you quickly cut him off.Â
âAnd why would I like him that way anyway? All he does is just bark orders and share wise, yet oddly cryptic, phrases.âÂ
âHey, so do I,â Qimir retorts, flicking the tip of your nose with his finger. The force he uses makes your nose sting a bit, but youâre sure he didnât mean to flick you that roughly. In response, you ruffle your nose petulantly.Â
You could definitely get used to being like this with Qimir more often.Â
âYeah, but youâre not as cryptic,â you point out, âand heâd be lucky if he was half as handsome as you, Qimir.â
You lightly touch his arm, expecting him to bask in your compliment, but he catches you off guard with a chuckle instead.Â
âWhy are you laughing at my compliment?â you ask, somewhat hurt.
âI'm just enjoying your company, myââhe hesitates for a second, as if catching himself from saying something else, before meeting your gazeââmy friend.âÂ
The way he says friend hangs in the air, carrying an unspoken weight. He shakes his head, as if brushing off a thought, and laughs awkwardly. âIâve gotta get used to that.â
Surprisingly, he continues to dwell on the subject of you and your master. âI mean, if you really think about it, the guy's probably lonely. Probably also likes you a lot more than he lets on andââ
âOkay, stop.â You hold both hands out. âWhy are you trying to set me up with him?â You gasp, âOh, my godâis he your brother?âÂ
âWow, time flies by so fast!â Qimir exclaims dramatically, quickly getting up from his stool and practically tripping on his own feet. âItâs getting late, and Iâm gonna head to bed. Good night!âÂ
In the blink of an eye, heâs already darting upstairs to his temporary bedroom.Â
âQimir, answer me!â you call out. âIs he a distant cousin? You mustâve seen him before if heâs related to you.âÂ
âGood night, my friend!â he hollers back.
âQimir, get back here!â
âSweet dreams! And drink some water before you go to bed!âÂ
Even in moments like these, Qimir still manages to have the final say, his words always laced with the utmost care for you.
///
A few hours go by, the moonlight shining strongly in the night sky. In the comfort of your makeshift bed nestled in one of the corners of the store, you toss and turn aimlessly. Your mind replays everything with Qimir from the last few hours.
And then realization hits you like a sack of duracrete bricks.
You bolt upright up from the bed and switch between muffling a scream in your pillow and smacking it against your face.Â
How could you have been so blind to how obvious it all was?
Throwing aside your covers, you carefully and quietly tiptoe upstairs.Â
At the top of the stairs, with the help of a few burning candles nearby, you peek at the sight of Qimir snoring softly on his side, arms flopped in different directions; it warms your heart.
You approach and take a seat on the empty side of his bed, summoning courage to gently trace the contours of his face, following the sharp lines of his jaw. He stirs awake moments later, turning to face you directly.Â
âHey, whatâs up?â Qimir mumbles groggily. He rubs his eyes. âEverything all right?âÂ
âQimir, can you pass a message onto my master?â you ask urgently.Â
âRight now?â he groans in annoyance, sitting up. âCan't it wait until morning?âÂ
âNo, I'm sure you can pass it on now. Itâs a pretty simple message.âÂ
You lean in. Itâs a quick kiss as your hand rests on his arm. It has to be quick, or else you might change your mind.Â
Plush lips press against yours. Itâs still and tense for a beat, and then he replies with a slight kiss back. Heâs the one who breaks away first, but he leans his forehead against yours.
âUh, I⊠You want me to kiss him?â he asks in confusion.Â
You slide your hands to the nape of his neck.
âIf you mean kissing yourself, then yes, Master.âÂ
Like flipping a switch, Qimirâs demeanor transforms into something entirely else. His presence intensifies, exuding confidence and strength youâre unused to. His eyes darken, locking onto yours with a gaze that can penetrate your soul.Â
His rich, deep voice returns from before, now tinged with authority.
âTook you long enough, my acolyte.â Â
This Qimirâyour masterâmoves swiftly with urgency. His grip on your body is firm, almost possessive. His kisses are passionate, his tongue exploring your mouth with fervor.Â
âTold you I'm not âbutt-ass ugly,ââ he mumbles, almost growling, between kisses. You giggle, but your giggle quickly turns into a moan as he presses his body firmly into yours. Â
âAnd my mask isnât stupid. I'll have you know it saved me so manyââ
You silence your master with another kiss, focusing on the present and pushing aside debates that could be saved for later.
For now, all you want is to remain in the comfort of his bed, letting the night truly begin, marking the beginning of what your master and you have unknowingly long awaited for.Â
#qimir x reader#qimir x you#qimir fluff#qimir fanfic#star wars x reader#star wars fluff#star wars x you#star wars fanfiction
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His Name | Soulmate!AU
~1.1k words
Jason Todd. That's the name that etched itself on your thigh the night of your sixteen birthday. Which is great, you have a soulmate. The issue is that you knowâ knew a Jason Todd. He happens to be six feet under the dirt in a graveyard you visit every Saturday. Which is not so great.
Being soul bound to a dead person gets you a lot of pitying glances from the people you know. You tell them there's more than one Jason Todd in the world. It makes your family shake their heads. You try not to dwell on the heartbreak on their faces when you tell them that, when they think you can't see it. They saw you and Jason together when he was alive. There won't be another Jason Todd in your life.
It's something you've slowly come to terms with, when no other Jason Todd finds their way to you, the idea of never seeing your name permanently marked on someone else's skin. The fact that you might never really have the person that's supposed to be yours.
That's why you might have reacted kind of poorly when Red Hood brings you up to a quiet rooftop, tugging off his leather jacket in front of you, dragging the material of his suit up and over his forearm to reveal your name on his skin.
You weren't even doing anything dangerous to get here, just at the wrong store at the wrong time, while some third-rate rouge went on and on about conquering the city. Standard Gotham experience.
What wasn't normal was Red Hood crashing through a window, brutal and efficient with every movement until each person with a gun was knocked out and beaten on the floor. Sure, you were aware he wasn't exactly a crime lord anymore, labeled a 'turned vigilante' by the press, but press also said he doesn't tend to leave crime alley. And you definitely weren't in crime alley. None of news stories of him saving people exactly calms the adrenaline coursing through you when he picks you up like it was the easiest thing in the world for him, hoisting you like you're made of glass over his shoulder and grappling you both to a nearby roof. You're alone before you even have time to process it.
You stumble back when he gently, so gently it makes your heart stutter, sets you on the ground. "Who do you think you are? You can't just grab peopleâ" your biting words cut off as you register the black lettering across his skin. Your name. Your name is there. On Red Hoods arm.
You reach out to touch it before you can stop yourself, fingers trailing down his forearm and over each letter of your name. He lets you, not speaking words, only sighing in what sounds like relief. You force your gaze from the mark you could stare at forever to meet the glowing eyes of his mask. "You're- Jason Todd?"
He nods, every nerve of his body completely locked on you. It doesn't clear anything up. He can't be Jason Todd, at least, not the one you buried.
You make a face and step back, crossing your arms, "Yeah right."
He seems to blank, arm still held out, showing your name permanently engraved on his skin. "Yeah, right?" He echos, deep and robotic through the modulator of his mask.
You set your jaw and nod.
He tilts his head, lifting his arm higher to make you see the mark. To see your name. "Do you think I faked it?"
That makes you falter. Why would he? There's nothing to gain by pretending to be your soulmate. "Well, no. But you still could have the wrong person."
He exhales a laugh, breathes out your name with more fondess than you've ever heard. "Always so stubborn."
Your frown. Sure, maybe you could be stubborn but he doesn't know that.
He says your name again, reaching up to tug his hood back, reaching for his mask.
It makes you freeze, eyes going wide in shock when you make out his face. Jason. Your Jason. "Howâ" You start, but can't quite manage to finish, eyes darting over the face that's so familiar, only older, more tired, more scarred. But his eyes are still the same. Intent and focused and bright when everything around him is dark.
"It's a long story." He says softly, before starting to ramble, nervous to upset you, to lose any chance of knowing you again. Any unease you felt around Red Hood fades as you recognize the boy you grew up with in him. "Maybe I could tell you? Over coffee? I have safe house nearby. But, only if you're comfortable. Or we could meet during the day, if thats better?"
His voice sounds more familiar without mask, and you study him, almost accusing. "You didn't have to kidnap me to tell me you're alive. Or that you're my soulmate, you know."
He stumbles over your words, taking half a step closer to you. "I didn't! I mean, I wasn't trying to. I swearâ I just couldn't take all of this off down there." He gestures to the mask, a little frantic to gain your approval.
It brings a small smile to your face, and he stops still at the sight of it, breath catching in his throat as you speak, "I'm glad you're here, Jason."
"I'm glad you're safe." He exhales out, eyes softening and tension draining from his muscles in relief.
You can't quite fight the urge to reach out for him, so you do, taking his hand and gently flipping it over so you can read your name again. You have questions, absolutely. Gripes. Proably a lecture that he should have come seen you sooner. But you settle on how right this feels in your bones, how your soul feels like its missing piece slotted into place. "Do you have creamer?"
"Creamer?" He asks, voice airy and memorized by the feel of your skin against his hand.
"For the coffee?" You prompt, smiling a little wider at his dazed expression, his eyes following your hand, like he can't believe you haven't run screaming for the hills.
"Yeah. Course. Anything you want." And when he focuses back in your face, you know in the very essence of what you are that he means it.
"Coffees a good start." You say, a little fond as you pull away your hand away, and he reluctantly lets your fingers slide from his.
"Coffee it is." And it is a good start. To know your other half again, to follow the warm, soothing feeling in your soul when you touch him, you'll try as many starts as it takes.
#jason todd x reader#jason todd#x reader#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#soulmate au#soulmate!jason todd
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