#also i feel like i always have to clarify

[a-friendly-fangirl]

"I Can't Hear It Now" is a CaitVi song (and I can prove it)

Ok, I know how this might sound, like I'm trying to make everything CaitVi related and I have no respect for Cait's loss and her feelings.

I promise though, that this might actually make sense... and if it does, then it's gonna be heartbreaking.

FIrst of all, I'd like to say that Freya Ridings' "I Can't Hear It Now" has been my favourite song since the very beginning of Arcane's second season, shattering my soul in enough pieces to make a challenging puzzle. The words and the way they're sung are heartfelt and moving, taking us through the kaleidoscope of feelings Cait experiences during her mother's funeral.

I'm a sucker for good music adding meaning to a show and its scenes and Arcane is exactly the kind of show that'd do that, so I've been eager to fully explore each song in the show's context, starting with this one.

When I first listened to it, I immediately thought that it was Caitlyn pleading Cassandra for guidance through her grief and her sense of guilt, because, as Cait herself admits, her mother left a huge hole in Piltover's political scene and in her own family and she has no clue as to how deal with it.

"Just tell me how to keep breathing while pretending I'm not drowning" seemed to me as something one would ask to their parent, were they a person with an important political role, having to constantly keep up appearances. Caitlyn, young and in mourning as she is after her mother's death, is also left alone to face publicly the loss, because her father is clearly in no condition to do that and she doesn't know what she's supposed to do to be a good replacement for both of her parents. I think everyone would understand, if she were to pray her deceased mother for help.

With time, though, I started rethinking my whole interpretation, because a few elements seemed off. Two are the ones that matter the most:

To be a song about a Piltovan dealing with grief by conversing with her lost one, it would've been weirdly spiritual. Although I don't know much about the city's lore, a quick research clarified that Piltover doesn't seem to have an official religion or religious belief and, in my experience, talking to a deceased person and asking them for guidance is something deeply rooted in spirituality and religion. Of course, when mourning everyone can talk to their lost ones as a form of coping mechanism, but in the song it is explicitly stated that the person Caitlyn is talking to can see her (Where you watch while these dreams gently float away), which is something we never hear from her. Caitlyn, actually, believes exactly on the contrary, which is that her mother has left a duty she doesn't know how to fulfill and she can't turn to her to find her way; in fact, she never appeals to Cassandra in any fashion. She remembers her, probably wonders whether she's proud of her or not, but she never reaches out to her directly. Long story short, then, the lyrics seem directed more to a living person than to a dead one;

Some lines simply don't apply to Cassandra. Look, I know I shouldn't take every word literally, but here some things wouldn't make any sense anyway. Like the way your voice always sounds when you sing to me doesn't appear to me as a line I could ever imagine Cait addressing to her mother. Cassandra, even though she wasn't a terrible mother, was still an estimated Councillor and head of one of Piltover's richest and strongest families. She raised her daughter hoping some day she'd take over and sit proudly on her seat at the Council table. Caitlyn was educated as an aristocrat without wanting to be one ("I know you doubt the merit of your birthright, Caitlyn"), which sparked several arguments between them. Cassandra, despite loving her daughter, could never fully accept or understand her and her upbringing and position probably made everything worse. In other terms, Cassandra wasn't probably the kind of mum that'd sing Caitlyn lullabies. Also, again, the verb is conjugated in the present tense, as if the person addressed in the song was still alive. Just tell me how to keep breathing while pretending I'm not drowning sounded pretty odd to me as well. While it is undoubtly true that Cassandra was probably a professional pretender because of her social position, what Caitlyn is asking for is something much deeper: she's asking to be pulled out from a black hole of sorrow and hatred. It takes experience to put on a good poker face when given such a challenge and, even if we don't know much about Cassandra herself, I could guess that she'd have lacked that sort of knowledge.

Going briefly back to the funeral scene, we can all recall that, while Cassandra and Caitlyn were both in colour, there was also another character highlighted as the heart of that moment: Vi. Vi, who, as it is made perfectly clear through the whole second season, is Caitlyn's anchor. She's the person she relies on the most, starting a war to save her father and letting go of the person she despises the most for her. She goes through her plan with her, asking her what Jinx's fate should be. Vi's the person she turns to when she feels like breaking down instead of her own dad. In other words, in such a desperate moment, if Caitlyn needed someone to talk to, she'd go to Vi.

And that's when the song starts making even more sense:

. There is an ocean so dark down below the waves/ Where you watch while these dreams gently float away: while Caitlyn's saying goodbye to her mother, Vi... watches. Almost like a worried guardian, she keeps her distance while empathising with her girl's feelings, literally watching while their dreams of peace, love and freedom leave with the coffin;

. And there is a silence so soft it's only memory/ Like the way your voice always sounds when you sing to me: this is such a CaitVi thing to me. Do you remember the wind chimes scene? Her thought of Jinx makes the wind grow furious just like her, while the thought of Vi calms her down. When Cait is tormented by the terrifying noise of Jinx's laughter breaking the silence, Vi comes in and restores it. It's no accident that the only music we can hear in the end is Vi's singing, a soft humming;

. But I can't hear it now/ Just tell me how to keep breathing while pretending I'm not drowning: to enjoy silence and not feel suffocated by it, your mind must be at peace. At the very beginning of the season, Cait's isn't. Her anger, her sense of guilt scream loud enough to drown Vi's voice. Still, Caitlyn turns to her, because Vi's the only person in her life that knows what she's going through. In fact, when Caitlyn's losing it, because she has no idea of how to fill the hole left by Cassandra, it is Vi that replies: "It gets smaller, but you never fill it".

So here it is, I rest my case.

[ablueboxandabentley]

Discussion of the S3 Leaked Set Pics Below:

Edit: Just to be clear I am not shaming any one at all for having theories different to mine. I understand that tone can be different for some people, myself included, to parse out sometimes. I just wanted to clarify in case it at all sounded like that’s what it sounded like I was doing. These are all my own opinions and ideas. Please DO NOT go after/ harass anyone who has ideas about the story’s direction that is different from your own.

No one has done this in my comments as of me making this edit, but I just wanted to give a reminder. Let fandom remain a space for people to enjoy together.

I do, as always, encourage RESPECTFUL conversation and debate however.

Okay, okay.

Here’s the thing. I legitimately HATE the “Aziraphale and Crowley become humans” theory. They are supposed to have eternity together. A major part of their characters is that they are eternally watching/learning/ protecting humanity. Crowley especially thinks of himself as human anyway. (“For my money, the really big one is going to be all of US (i.e. humanity) against all of them”).

After 6000 years, those two getting only a few short decades together would be a genuine tragedy. They are already human.

Aziraphale and Crowley have never, ever angsted over their immortality. Oh, I’m sure there are people they both miss, places they wish had lasted, but they aren’t the Tenth Doctor. They like all of the perks of not having to worry about money, getting expensive stuff. They would be bored, transcendentally bored, without the ability to perform miracles, and honestly they probably wouldn’t know how to function without them. To them, after enough time, the fall of a certain ancient civilization probably feels like your favorite local restaurant going out of business. (Ooh, I quite like that as a line for a fic in future). Sure it’s quite a shame, but there’s the memories.

I don’t even really want this to be a “they get tricked into thinking they’re humans” because I don’t think a story like that would work in such a short time. I actually think people are underestimating how much powerful storytelling can happen in 90 minutes. Would I have liked the full, promised series? Absolutely yes. But acting like movies can’t be moving is underestimating them. Obviously the writing has to be good, but I’m hoping we’re in good hands.

Now, what I would love for this to be is some sad, pathetic “what if we had met as humans and everything was easier?” daydream that Crowley is having because it feels very on brand for him. He doesn’t want to imagine THE bookshop because he had his heart broken there.

Now.

As for the wardrobe. The whole vest/peacoat/slacks look…yeah it does kinda look like he’s adopting bits of Aziraphale’s style, but he was also wearing a cardigan with sweater garters last season so…

Also, this is also a lot more aligned with Crowley’s clothing style in the NOVEL. In a season 1 BTS feature, David even talks about how the gothic-rocker style was a choice made for the show, that his character’s novel counterpart was specifically mentioned to wear suits.

Oh and that flat, Bill Masters hair Aziraphale has is probably his sad corporate hairstyle.

[fridayyy-13th]

i really need to stop staying up late when my intrusive thoughts come up again, they always get worse at night. i wanted to do some writing, but i procrastinated too long and now i feel too bad and when i tried, i couldn't focus. so i'm gonna try and go to bed.

[k1tty5]

hello :D please tell me more about your mezalian (is that how you spell it??) smalletho I will forever be indebted to you

(they are gorgeous I love them sm)

hey hi !! it would be my pleasure … (and I’ve been spelling it mezalean ??? but i have no idea LOL. there might be a canon spelling but i havent watched joels esmp1 since… probably since it ended. i will have to check sometime)

apologizing in advance because i will probably get very ramble-y!!

ummm. Oh god. How to start. Lets see. WELL. In this silly little au (i guess it has become a bit more than just me doodling designs LOL) in my head they have like this sort of zelink dynamic? obviously without all the zelda lore & stuff, just that kind of … okay forgive me I haven’t brushed up on my zelink lore for a good many years but. Like the princess and her personal knight that doesn’t really talk much sort of thing.

this made more sense in my head. But yeah. They have the vibes of zelink ? At least if i remember zelink right, I have a really bad memory :’) not exactly the same, i do think etho talks to joel (whereas if iirc link never really talks) - especially after getting to know him a bit - but just. they have the Vibes. You know?

I reckon Joel’s definitely very into sculpting in this au, maybe dabbles a little in painting - I imagine mezalea to be very heavy on art and expression in general. think you’d especially see lots of pottery and textiles all around the place. He probably also has an interest in some form of like. um. whats the word. Some sort of … fighting. lmao. Specifically thinking of fencing, i had this idea in my head that he’s watched Etho practice outside the palace at some point and is just absolutely fascinated and enamored. by both the practice and etho himself haha.

and for etho… talented swordsman? he is Not washed. i dont really have many ideas for his character in this au To be completely honest, mostly just of his personality. Although, I alsooo think he’s probably not actually from mezalea? I like to draw him with those pointy elf ears, and i think mezaleans are just humans. I cant remember if thats canon or not but um. mezaleans have human ears, so i’d imagine etho’s probably from like.. rivendelle? Is that. What it’s called. The elf guys? Are they elves??? Goodness I cant remember. Grimlands would make sense too since i THINK they’re kind of like. technical engineer guys? but i dont know what species they are um so ,,, yeah,,,,

i think joel’s probably a bit put off by etho at first, mostly just because he’s not super enthused about the idea of a personal guard, but also because the guys a bit odd, you know? but he’s also probably suuuper intrigued by him. he wants to figure this new guy out, and when they start talking a bit more, i think. They are both incredibly charmed by the other. head over heels? possibly.

most of my ideas of this au are just little scenes that are cute and silly but dont follow any main plot. I would love to write some one-shots of some of the ideas i have in the future, but as of right now im experiencing a bout of creative burnout and am busy with the holidays - spending time with family, so… not right now lol!

hopefully this is what you wanted,,,, i tend to get very ramble-y when talking about literally anything, so i do apologize for that haha, i am Not good at explaining things in simple ways, as i’ve said many a time before.

[quietwingsinthesky]

people are saying he « led her on » because he did. the fact that he kissed her in the first episode set the tone for the rest of the season and if you can’t perceive the flirting I’m sorry but how?? he didn’t make anything clear he sent the craziest mixed signals in the world. there’s nothing revolutionary about claiming that Martha was being pushy toward someone who was clearly not interested it’s 1) weird to claim in what it suggests about her 2) factually not true.

I wasn’t gonna respond to this at first because the top half of this ask is pretty much just individual interpretation and I don’t really care about it. Like, no, to me, the Doctor doesn’t seem especially flirty towards Martha. He’s just sort of Like That. That’s his damage, you know, Mr. I need to traumadump on anyone who tolerates being around me for more than five minutes. Mr. If I don’t develop an intensely codependent emotional bond with the companion I have currently I’ll die. It doesn’t read to me as him trying to lead her on because that bit’s honest, and he does it with damn near every companion he’s ever had.

And if nothing else, because we do see Ten when he tries to flirt intentionally and he’s a fuckin dork about it. Kind of guy who looked up romance in the dictionary and took notes. Kinda guy who draws diagrams to maximize kissing potential. It would have been obvious even to me (<- romance-blind as all fuck) if he was flirting with Martha on purpose because he’s not smooth at all; he flirts like he’s gotten lines in a play and he’s super excited to be the main star.

But anyway, as I was saying, that’s just how I see it. And if you see it different, no skin off my back, I just disagree.

But I take umbrage with you putting words in my mouth. I never said Martha was pushy towards him. Because yeah, she’s not. If I implied that she was, then it was a result of poor phrasing on my part. Martha’s not at fault for what she feels, for wanting there to come something of it. No more at fault than the Doctor is for not returning those feelings. It’s a bit weird that you’re assuming that I think one of them has to be the bad guy here when that was the opposite of what I was saying. My point was: When it comes to their romantic subtext of their relationship, it’s weird to pretend like either of them are to blame for them not being in a relationship at the end of s3, and even weirder to assert that as part of why Martha supposedly wouldn’t like the Doctor afterwards when they’re. friends. they continue to be friends into s4.

Martha’s not pushy. She has a crush on her friend. It happens. He doesn’t return it. This also happens. Both of these facts are pushed to the extreme because he’s a time-traveling alien with poor emotional skills and she’s put herself in the position of needing to help him from minute one of meeting each other. That’s why it’s fun to watch, because the Doctor is both so open and so unavailable in turns, because Martha’s feelings for him grow and change as she knows more about her Doctor until she decides to step back.

I don’t know, man. You seem to be coming at this as if one of them has to be The Problem™️. I don’t think either of them is, not so definitively. I think boiling their relationship down to that is reductive and an insult to the way they both grow over s3, to Martha’s choice to continue to be his friend while also establishing her own boundaries, to the fact that the Doctor is able to let her go without immediately trying to kill himself afterwards when she’s not there to catch him.

[sha-brytols]

never apologize these give me life. it's also frustrating when you try to point this out because ALWAYS either one of two things happens:

"um ☝️🤓 actually 🙄 this is a really unfair assessment and actually says more about YOUR perception of gender politics that you believe mythal is meant to be the Evil Crazy Bitch Ex Wife" and for some reason no amount of explaining that you are specifically criticizing this as an idea being set up by the devs in the actual game itself will ever actually get through to people

"oh 🤨 so women aren't allowed to be nuanced anymore? 🤔 we can't have flawed female characters? 🙄 it's sexist for female characters to be portrayed in a toxic relationship?" and this one really grinds my gears because it ISN'T nuanced and it ISN'T complex and the entire thing was framed by the devs in such a way that illustrates everything as ultimately mythal's individual fault.

like i like the idea of mythal and solas having a codependent and mutually destructive relationship in theory and i LOVE the idea that this ultimately manifests in the literal annhilation of their world as they know it because THEY'RE GODSkindof! but this isn't how it plays out. there is absolutely NO point in the entire game where solas is given literally any agency over his own actions. why did he destroy the titans? mythal told him to. he actually says in this 🥺 heartbreaking tone "what we're doing is awful" just to really drive home the point of he didn't want this. why did he use the titans life force as a tool to strengthen the evanuris? mythal told him to. see, she even forced him to abandon his spiritual form despite him not wanting to and he even told her he thinks its dangerous to harvest the blood of the titans, he's just that loyal and devoted to her! why is he tearing down the veil? he's fulfilling mythal's final wish and he literally cannot stop himself because he's so broken by his loyalty and devotion to her that he's unable to consider any other path. why did he STAB VARRIC AND USE HIS LIKENESS TO MIND CONTROL AND MANIPULATE ROOK? BECAUSE OF MYTHAL‼️

this is what drives me so crazy like i see fans (especially solasmancers) actually buying into this and it makes me want to rip my hair out. even that infamously despised ending where he relies on mythal's favor rather than the inquisitor's to finally break the cycle seems so insidious to me. like the writers were specifically grabbing you by the shoulder to be like "don't worry, girl! he WOULD have stopped for you! he wanted to stop for you! he just couldn't because of his evil ex wife! blame her! ^_^" like all of this was just specifically so that fans of solas didn't have to reconcile any of the bad things that he does as his own actions and i'm not even saying this as a dig against solavellans im saying YALL WERE ROBBED AND YOU'RE STILL FEEDING INTO THIS EVEN WHEN YOU'RE COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW MUCH IT SUCKED.

i like solas! i hate that i even feel like i have to say this because my opinion on him shouldn't matter in a discussion about misogyny but because there's now this narrative that any interpretation of him as anything but a poor little meow meow who got fucked over by the devs with a hidden agenda i feel like i have to clarify that i'm saying this partly because this completely destroys everything that made him so fun and appealing. like imagine if da2 genuinely leaned into the notion that anders was completely innocent and just being manipulated by justice this whole time and nothing he did was ever his own decision like does that not SUCK ALL POSSIBLE INTEREST OUT OF THAT CHARACTER FOR YOU? why are we okay with this!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@ikarons literally all your tags ruled but these ones especially because you dont even know how much this BUGGED ME‼️

[lemongogo]

why do i love the conflict more than anything else . the misery . the incompatibility that spreads like oil slick . wanting so desperately for resolution that never comes . hmmm

[skunkes]

[chemdisaster]

i'm thinking about joel's "i am the best i'm the greatest human being to ever walk this earth" persona, and about how often he actually gets complimented by other people. because wouldn't constantly acting like he believes himself to be the pinnacle of humanity make people less likely to say genuine nice things about him? in fact, it'd make him a bigger target for teasing because, well, his head's big enough as it is. and even if it's obvious that it's an act, who, upon hearing someone say something incredibly self-obsessed, agrees with them? teasing them, taking them down a peg is simply the natural response. so i wonder how all of the above would mix with joel's boatload of insecurities that he very clearly has under the surface.

[good-beans]

I know most of our focus goes (rightfully) to the trial songs, but I genuinely believe Baptism of Fire is equally a masterpiece of meaningful writing and intense vocal acting

Incoming tag rant because I need to yell about this, feel free to yell back

[toytulini]

me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts

[yrlocalghost]

what i will say is that i think a very big issue for me right now with my appearance is just that due to stress and i guess just time, i feel like i have very visibly aged and probably look older than my age. and inherently there is nothing wrong with that but i kind of wish i could still pass off as young enough that when i say i haven’t really done anything with my life or anything, people are understanding and say that i still have time. i don’t know, i just feel like i am out of time

[icewindandboringhorror]

I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent

[scarletfasinera]

Had an opportunity to talk about my goal to read The Anatomy of Melancholy in 2025 with my best friend's brother & his girlfriend. She's a literature teacher, so she recognized it and seemed really impressed by the goal. She's was like "Wow! Isn't it like 1500 pages? That's a really good goal for the year, please keep me updated on your progress!" and when I got really serious and said "I'm GOING to read it entirely. It's my White Whale." she laughed & started clapping & nodding at me.

[jankwritten]

yall wanna know how fucked up my anxiety is about some shit

i scroll past a post that's about a topic i don't like. whatever, it's fine. i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't care about. that's normal.

i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't like or care about but the person presenting it is a person of color? i IMMEDIATELY feel immensely guilty and need to "compensate" by "proving" it wasn't because of race by also skipping other random posts, JUST IN CASE someone thinks I'm racist because I didn't want to watch a video on a topic I didn't like or care about, that happened to be presented by a person of color.

this just in on: the police in my brain are loud and i'm scared of them

[flash-lighter]

I made my own blog and then immediately disappeared from front for three days, anyways hello everybody I’m back :)

Anyways I’ve been considering posting this for awhile but I wasn’t sure how the reactions to it would be oh well I’m going to do it anyways, this is what I look like in system! For anyone who might have been curious :)

Both of these I drew myself, by the way