#also i feel like i always have to clarify

[minswriting]

ILLICIT AFFAIRS - A.H x Reader

About: Aaron is served divorce papers after getting back from a case. The team goes out for drinks to decompress and you end up going home with Aaron.

Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, angst, smut, oral (f), fingering (f), unprotected sex, p in v, cheating?, insecurity problems, again this is angst, slightly intoxicated smut, mentions of a case, boss/employee dynamics, clawing at Aaron’s back, overstimulation, etc.

Word Count: 5.0k

A/N: Hello! Please comment and reblog to support your creators! Borders made by @cafekitsune and thank you to @aureatelys for proofreading for me!!

When the team arrived back at the Bureau after a pretty tough case which included the abduction, burning, and mutilation of women, everyone was ready to decompress. It had been a tough case, hitting a bit too close to home for some of the team members. And so, when someone mentioned going out for drinks, everyone was happy to agree. Before you guys could leave, however, someone had stopped Aaron and handed him an envelope.

“Haley’s filing for divorce,” Aaron clarified, looking at the team. His gaze met yours, lingering briefly before he opened the envelope. He looked at the papers, sighed, and put them into his bag. “Shall we go?”

And so, you all were, in O’Keefe’s and drinking some alcoholic beverages. You were next to Aaron, sipping on a fruity cocktail of some sort while he drank a disgusting beer. Derek was dancing with some random women as Penelope watched, JJ and Emily were playing darts with some guys while Spencer sat with a few people, talking about whatever came to mind, and Rossi was outside smoking a cigar, leaving you and Aaron alone.

You had a good relationship with your boss. You both respected one another on a professional level. You were good at what you did and Aaron appreciated that. Just as you appreciated his authority and his ability to lead the team. He had always been someone you admired. The way he would balance leading the team, filing all the paperwork, and dealing with the bureaucracy that came with the position, all while having a wife and a child at home. You always knew it had to be tough and stressful on the man.

As you and Aaron sat at the table, you couldn’t help but look at him. Perhaps it was the fact that he looked so exhausted and worn out or maybe it’s the fact you’re attracted to sad and older men, but you couldn’t help but look at him. Part of you has always been attracted to Hotch. With his dark brown eyes, dark short hair, broad shoulders, how tall he was, and the way he was just so fit. Not to mention the way he was able to dominate a room. It often had you thinking about what it would be like to have sex with him. Was he as dominant in the bedroom as he was at work? Your imagination was endless with images of Aaron and all of the possibilities.

You knew it was wrong. He was a married man or at least would remain so until he signed his divorce papers. Not to mention the fact that he was also your boss. It broke many, many Bureau policies to even think of your boss in such a way. There’s also the fact that he was sad, going through such a tough time without anyone there for him.

“I can feel your eyes on me,” Aaron spoke, taking a sip of his beer, and keeping his gaze on the atmosphere in the bar.

You couldn’t help the small jump as Aaron’s voice, so soft and velvety that it never failed to have you clenching your thighs, kicked you out of your thoughts. Your cheeks felt hot, whether, from the alcohol or the embarrassment of getting caught, you weren’t sure. “Sorry,” You said, grabbing your drink and taking a sip from it, keeping your gaze on the table. “I just-” You paused for a second before reworking your sentence. “Are you alright?”

Aaron took a deep breath, leaning back in his chair as he turned his gaze to look at you. “I’m fine,” He said, his voice disingenuous as he spoke. You knew he wasn’t fine, no one would be in such a situation. Here Aaron was, building walls and avoiding the fact that he was going through such an emotional time. He was always like this. Hiding his true emotions to not let anyone in because if he lets someone in, it means admitting he’s not alright, admitting he’s weak, sustained by the abuse he endured by his father at a young age.

“It’s okay to not be okay,” You said softly, eyes softening as you looked at Aaron. “I mean divorce is a hard thing to go through.”

Aaron quirked an eyebrow at you, silence overcoming the two of you before he broke it. “Do you always do this?” He asked.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, tilting your head. “Do what?”

“Try to fix sad men because you lack that control in your life?” He asked before taking another sip of his drink.

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your lips. It was the way Aaron coped, a defense to divert the attention away from himself. Aaron was entirely right, of course. It was something you had a bit of a habit of doing. Your previous relationships were brought upon the need to fix damaged goods. This was certainly no different. “Maybe,” You sighed, taking another sip of your drink. “Regardless, my point still stands. It’s okay to not be okay, Hotch,” You exclaimed.

Aaron hummed, placing his glass down. He called down a waiter, ordering you both another round of drinks before looking at you once more. You couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes raked over your body but as quickly as you had noticed, his gaze was on yours as if nothing had happened. He took a moment to gather his thoughts. “I suppose you’re right,” He exclaimed. “I’ll be alright though. It was bound to happen at some point.”

You shrugged, finishing off your drink. “Did she give a reason as to why she was divorcing you?” You asked as you placed the glass down.

“Not really,” He stated. “We’ve only talked in regards to Jack but other than that, not much else.” The new round of drinks was set on the table by the waiter, the both of you thanked him before he walked away. Aaron placed your drink in front of you before grabbing his own and placing it in front of him. “I know it’s due to this job.”

You nodded your head in understanding, unsure of what to say in response. It made the most sense. This job, as fulfilling as it was to put away the bad guys, also drained the life out of you. Having to drop anything and everything you’re doing at any given moment to save another city from a serial killer, really affected your day-to-day personal relationships. You couldn’t imagine how bad it was for Aaron, especially with his son involved. “I’m sorry,” You managed to reply, not wanting to leave Aaron’s words unacknowledged.

Aaron was silent for a few moments, looking into his glass, deep in thought. “This job, what we do, it’s important. We catch killers, we save lives, we are heroes. Until the time we go home and then everything changes. Then, I am nothing more than the father and the husband that is never there,” He took a deep breath before sighing.

You listened intently with sympathy. Hearing Hotch open up for the first time was a bit of a shock, the man had way too many defenses up that it made it hard to know anything about his private life other than what he wanted to share. “It’s incredibly lonesome,” you began, glancing around the room as your gaze caught onto each of the team members. “We work and work, trying to protect the citizens of this country, to make it a better place, and yet, no one outside of this team understands what we really go through in order to protect everyone.” You paused for a second, turning your gaze back to Aaron. “At the end of the day, no one will ever truly understand.”

Aaron’s eyes softened as he looked at you, taking in your words. “Which is why we find comfort in each other,” he replied softly.

“Which is why we find comfort in each other.” You repeated back, nodding your head. You glanced over at Spencer, who was on the other side of the bar talking very animatedly about something with Penelope and Derek, his hands moving wildly as he rambled on. JJ and Emily had walked over to them, joining in on the conversation and even Rossi joined in as well. Everyone gravitates back to one another eventually, it always happens.

“So how come, instead of talking with the others, you’ve spent the night sitting with me?” Aaron asked suddenly. “I can’t be too joyous to be around right now.”

You looked back over at Aaron, catching his knowing gaze. “You looked like you didn’t want to be alone tonight,” was your response.

“So it’s your savior complex,” Aaron replied with a faint smirk, amusement in his gorgeous brown eyes.

You laughed softly, nodding your head in agreement. “I guess so,” you exclaimed.

At that moment, as the two of you looked at each other, you weren’t boss and employee. You were simply Aaron and Y/N. Two souls, one shamed by his failed marriage and the other ridden with loneliness, finding solace in one another.

What was a seemingly innocent conversation in the bar had quickly turned into something much more than that when in the middle of your conversation, Aaron put his hand on your thigh. You should have stopped it right then and there, told him you both had to keep things professional. But the moment he breathed into your ear, asking you to keep him company for the night, you couldn’t resist. Not when it has been something you’ve been dreaming about since you joined the team.

And now, here you were, in the back of a taxi with Aaron, as the driver made their way through the city to Aaron’s new apartment. The two of you were sitting next to each other, Aaron’s legs were spread, causing his thigh to press up against yours. Other than that, however, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

That was until you arrived outside of Aaron’s apartment complex. The moment the two of you stepped out of the car, Aaron grabbed you by your hips, slightly tentative, as he looked at you. “We don’t have to do this,” He murmured. “We can just pretend this didn’t happen and I can send you home.”

You shook your head, putting your hands on Aaron’s shoulders. “I want to,” you replied softly. “I shouldn’t but I do.”

And that was all Aaron needed before leaning in, his breath fanning your face as his lips inched closer to yours. You were standing on the sidewalk outside of Aaron’s apartment building, about to kiss your boss. The thought should frighten you; yet, the moment he pressed his lips against yours, all thoughts and fears disappeared. You could taste the faint cheap beer that coated Aaron’s mouth as you kissed. Your heart was beating fast and yet, you were calm at the same time. And when you both eventually pulled away, you could see the fire in Aaron’s eyes in the way he looked at you and you were sure he could see it in yours as well.

It was wrong, you both knew it was. But none of that didn’t matter when Aaron was guiding you inside the building, feeling you up in the elevator, kissing you in such a way that it felt almost intoxicating. The drinks you guys had earlier could not compare to the way Aaron kissed you. It was almost dizzying and yet, you couldn’t get enough of it. Aaron had his hands firmly placed on your hips, kissing you hungrily. Your hands rested on his chest, feeling his muscles through the fabric of his dress shirt. One of his hands slipped down to your ass, causing you to let out a soft noise against his lips, which in turn caused Aaron to let out a low, soft chuckle that went straight to your cunt.

When the elevator dinged, the two of you pulled away, not wanting to draw attention to yourselves by any passersby who may want to use the elevator this late at night. Aaron put a hand on your lower back as the two of you walked to his apartment down the hall, stopping once you reached his door. You had never been to Hotch’s apartment, especially because it’s been so recent since his separation from Haley. You had expected it to be completely bare as soon as you walked in but instead, you were met with a relatively furnished apartment decorated with photos and small antiques. It wasn’t anything special but it showed the refined tastes of an older man, not a bachelor pad like you had expected.

As soon as you stepped in, Aaron closed the door behind you. He reached for you once more, pulling you in for another kiss. This one was more intense, and more passionate, showing the growing need between the two of you. You hadn’t expected Hotch to be much of a kisser but you certainly weren’t complaining as he guided you through his apartment with his lips attached to yours.

You placed your hands on Aaron’s suit jacket, pushing the fabric off of him. He removed his hands off of you for just a moment, shrugging off the jacket and tossing it somewhere in the apartment. You pulled away from the kiss for just a moment to speak. But Aaron had other thoughts. “We,” Aaron interrupted you by kissing you again. “Really, shouldn’t,” another kiss. “Be doing this.”

Aaron simply hummed “Mhm,” while still kissing you, his hands moving to the hem of your shirt and trailing it upwards. “I know,” He began but you interrupted him by kissing him. “It’s wrong,” You did so again. “As your boss-” His words fell flat when you pulled away just enough to pull your shirt off and toss it somewhere, revealing a simple black lace bra. “You’re so beautiful,” He murmured, taking you in.

You felt the heat in your cheeks as Aaron looked at you. “I think we are far past worrying about our professional dynamics,” You exclaimed, unable to help the smirk that formed on your lips.

“You’re right,” He confirmed, nodding his head. Aaron’s fingers moved to undo his tie, taking the material and throwing it wherever your shirt landed. He grabbed you again, his lips going from yours to your jawline, pressing soft feather-like kisses along your skin until he got to your neck. Your breath hitched as Aaron kissed your neck, the area being a bit sensitive to the touch. Aaron licked your pulse point, causing you to let out a soft noise. He nipped at it, leaving a small mark, though careful to not make it noticeable as a mark like that could cost you your positions if anyone were to find out who you had gotten it from.

After leaving the small mark, Aaron pulled away, placing his hands on your hips. He guided you to the couch, sitting you down on the leather material. You looked up at him with the prettiest eyes, almost causing Aaron to just say fuck it and take you right then and there. But he controlled himself, wanting to make this good for you both, even if it is for his satisfaction.

He got onto his knees, kneeling before you. “I want to taste you,” Aaron said, putting his hands on your knees. “Is that alright?”

You let out a breathless chuckle, unable to help it. It was sweet that Aaron asked, almost scared that you’d ever deny him anything. If there was one thing he should know about you, it’s that you’ve never denied any of Aaron’s demands. “Yes, please,” you said.

Aaron gave you a small smirk before unbuttoning your jeans. You lifted your hips slightly, allowing Aaron to pull them down completely as he threw them somewhere, leaving you in a pair of matching black lace panties. “Fuck,” Aaron breathed out, licking his lips. “You have no idea how much I’ve thought about this.”

You quirked an eyebrow. “Is that so?” You asked, your heart racing at the idea. “For how long?”

Aaron gently grabbed the hem of your panties, pulling them down. “For far much longer than I should admit,” he replied.

That thought made you feel a bit guilty. He likely had been harboring some sort of attraction to you for quite some time and the fact that he’s still technically married dawned upon you. You knew you shouldn’t be doing this and yet, that need you felt growing inside of you outweighed the guilt, especially when Aaron spread your legs and began kissing your inner thigh.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured against your skin. “So perfect. I’m going to ravish you tonight.”

“Please,” you rasped softly, looking at Aaron with an almost pleading expression. You desperately wanted to feel him, to have him do something. You have wanted him for far too long and now that you had him, you didn’t want to let go. You knew that you were just a mere distraction. Perhaps that was your flaw. Being the woman that distracts men from their problems. But you couldn’t help it. Not when the man you’ve harbored an attraction to was sitting before you, on his knees, telling you how beautiful you were.

Without further hesitation, Aaron placed a kiss on your pubic bone before dipping his head lower. He pressed his lips against your cunt, causing you to gasp as he kissed your pussy lips. Then, he stuck his tongue out, licking a strip from your hole to your clit. You let out a moan, spreading your legs further for Aaron to give him better access. Aaron groaned against your pussy. “You’re so sweet,” he said before diving back in, running his tongue in figure eights around your pussy.

“Oh,” you moaned, bringing a hand to Aaron’s dark hair, entangling your fingers into it.

To say it was heavenly would be an understatement. The way Aaron’s tongue lapped around your cunt and how his lips wrapped around your clit, sucking on it gently. You were whining in pleasure, throwing your head back. You’ve had people go down on you before but it was always a chore to them. This, however, felt like Aaron truly loved going down on you, adoring your pussy. He wasn’t hesitant to dive right in, holding your thighs with his arms as he practically held your cunt against his face. This was a man who thrived eating pussy.

As Aaron sucked on your clit, he trailed his finger to your pussy, teasing your hole by spreading it around the wetness. You let out a whine, tugging at Aaron’s hair, eliciting a moan from the older man. He inserted a finger, thrusting it slowly in and out of you. “Oh fuck,” you moaned, breathing heavily. Aaron eventually added a second finger, curling them to hit your g-spot. You gave a choked moan, and an almost whiny “Aaron,” escaped your lips, causing him to groan against your cunt once more. The vibrations add to the pleasure.

It wasn’t long before you were cumming with your head thrown back against the leather of the couch, thighs clamping around Aaron’s face and hand, and toes curling. And when you finished and relaxed against the couch, Aaron pulled away. His face glistened with your juices, his pupils dilated, and his hair was tousled all over the place from your fingers. He looked so incredibly attractive.

Aaron licked his lips, looking up at you as he was still kneeling. You were breathing heavily, looking at him with a blissful expression on your face. And all of a sudden, Aaron dived back in, eating you out more like a starved and deprived man rather than with precision as he did before. It wasn’t a matter of whether you came or not, it was a matter of what Aaron wanted. And right now, he wanted nothing more than to live between your thighs. “Oh!” You moaned loudly, your hands going back to Aaron’s hair as he began licking your cunt all over.

You were whining and moaning, writhing around on the leather of Aaron’s couch as he ate you out desperately. He began sucking and slurping up your juices, burying his nose into your cunt. It wasn’t didn’t take long for you to cum all over his face once more as Aaron moaned against your cunt, relishing in the fact you were pulling his hair. This was the sign of a pussy drunk man. And you adored it.

When you finished a second time, Aaron pulled away completely, taking a second to gather his breath before standing up. You looked up at him, legs spread with just your bra still on. He began to undo his shirt, frantically undoing the buttons. He wanted you. He needed to be buried inside of your cunt. He threw his dress shirt somewhere in the living room, not caring as to where it landed. “Need you,” Aaron said hoarsely, moving to undo his pants.

You watched as Aaron moved with desperation you had never seen in such a normally composed man. You reached behind yourself, undoing your bra and tossing it next to you on the couch. Aaron kicked off his slacks, revealing his boxers and his obvious erection. The outline of his cock was seen perfectly and your mouth practically watered at the sight. He pulled down his boxers, stepping out of them as he made his way back to you. His cock was big, bigger than you’ve ever had, and it was girthy too. You couldn’t help the whimper that escaped your lips as your cunt fluttered around nothing at the idea of Aaron fucking you.

Aaron gave a deep chuckle as he saw the way you reacted to him. “Lay down for me,” He said, standing in front of you on the couch. You obeyed, moving your legs onto the couch as you lay down on your back on the cushions. Aaron crawled on top of you, taking a second to just look at you, really take you in. You, one of his best profilers, were lying underneath him, on his couch, ready for him to take you. All because you didn’t want him to be lonely tonight. Admittedly, he felt guilty. He felt as though he was using you with how his wife had just left him. But he couldn’t deny the attraction he has felt for you since you had joined the team. And now that he finally had an opportunity to have you, he wasn’t going to lose it.

“Beautiful,” He whispered, leaning down to press a kiss onto your sternum before moving to kiss your boobs. He swirled his tongue along your nipple teasingly, eliciting a small moan from you, before kissing upwards to your neck and jawline. He reached between the two of you, gripping himself as he guided his cock to your folds. He rubbed the tip against your slit, spreading your wetness onto his cock before lining himself up against your hole. He slowly eased himself into you, causing both of your breaths to hitch.

“You’re so wet,” Aaron breathed out.

“Yeah, that tends to happen,” You replied, face contorting into slight pain as Aaron’s cock stretched you out. “You’re so big,” You whined slightly.

“I know, darling,” Aaron murmured, still taking his time to ease into you. When he was fully inside of you, he stayed still, giving you time to adjust.

After a few minutes, the pain subsided as you relaxed. The stretch turning from pain to pleasure. “Y-you can move,” you stuttered, looking up at Aaron as you bit your bottom lip.

Aaron didn’t hesitate to start moving his cock out of you before thrusting it back in, repeating those movements. “You’re so fucking tight,” He groaned.

You moaned, eyes fluttering shut as Aaron began moving his cock inside of you. The feeling was rather dizzying, more so than the kiss from earlier. The feeling was electrifying. He was so much bigger than anyone you had ever slept with and already so much better. You were sure that Aaron had ruined sex for you forever and you knew that this was likely going to be the only time you’d sleep with the man.

Aaron began picking up the pace, causing you to moan louder. “Aaron,” you said his name loudly, bringing your hands to his back, clawing at the skin. Not enough to hurt him but enough to cause Aaron to hiss in both pain and pleasure.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” He groaned, fucking you deeply. To say he was feeling good would be an understatement. You were so warm, so wet, and so tight. He hadn’t felt something as amazing as your pussy in such a long time. At this moment, if Aaron died feeling your cunt wrapped around him, he would die a happy man. The fact his marriage failed couldn’t bother him when he was buried deep inside of you. “You feel incredible,” Aaron said, slamming his hips against yours as he fucked you.

“Just like that,” You whimpered as Aaron’s thrusts got more frantic. You could feel yourself getting close as Aaron’s cock grazed your sweet spot, making you see stars. “Am so close, Aaron.”

“That’s it, sweetheart,” He grunted, moving inside of you. “Go ahead and cum for me.”

And that was all you needed before you were whining, arching your back as you clamped around Aaron’s length, moaning his name so prettily that he could’ve busted right then and there. And he did as he buried himself so deep inside of you and came, filling you up with his cum.

When you both were done, you expected to be finished, for Aaron to toss you to the side and tell you to go home. Instead, however, he maneuvered you into his lap as he sat on the couch, inserting himself back into you and using his cum as lube as he thrusts up into you, fucking you both into overstimulation.

The night was spent fucking each other in so many positions all over Aaron’s apartment. And by the end of the night, you were both spent, fully satisfied from the amount of orgasms you had. You were in Aaron’s bed after he came inside of you once more, lying next to him as you both breathed heavily. Once you had calmed down, you sat up in the bed, ready to get up and gather your things. But just as you stood up, Aaron grabbed your hand. You turned to look at him, seeing the almost pleading expression on his face. “Stay? Just for tonight?” He asked.

And how were you ever going to say no to that? “Sure,” You whispered, lying back down in the bed.

Aaron pressed a kiss onto your shoulder as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you close to him. “Thank you,” He murmured against your skin, burying his face in your neck as he held you. You hadn’t expected Aaron to be much of a cuddler after sex and yet, here you were.

“There’s no need to thank me,” You murmured back, placing your hand on top of Aaron’s.

Eventually, sleep consumed you both, the exhaustion from the case and that night’s vigorous activities finally catching up to you.

In the morning, the sound of Aaron’s cell phone ringing awoke the both of you from your slumber. Aaron inhaled sharply before removing the arm that was wrapped around you. He reached for his phone, answering it with a deep, raspy morning voice that sent a shiver down your body. “Hotchner,” He rasped out. You turned from your side onto your back, the blanket drifting off of you and revealing your chest, causing Aaron to not so subtly look.

After a few minutes, Aaron hung up the phone, placing it back on his nightstand. “We have a case,” He said before getting up and out of bed.

You followed suit, shivering as the crisp air touched your skin. You took a second to gather your surroundings, stretching as you did so as Aaron walked over to his closet.

Neither of you spoke, not quite knowing what to say after last night's endeavors. You made your way out of his bedroom, going to the living room and gathering your clothes, getting dressed. You knew you were just a means to forget about the hardships Aaron was going through, nothing more and nothing less. At the end of the day, he was still your boss above all else.

And when you were completely dressed in yesterday’s clothes, Aaron came out dressed in a fresh suit. He looked at you for a moment before speaking. “Last night can’t happen again,” He said, his face and voice void of emotion as his walls were built up once more. “It was nothing more than a moment of weakness.”

You nodded your head in understanding, feeling your heart drop. “Of course, sir.” You agreed. Because of course, it was nothing more than that. And you would always be there to help in a moment of weakness.

Yet, that night, back at the hotel while on a case in Chula Vista, California, you found yourself in Hotch’s hotel room as he ravished you once more. By the next morning, he said the same thing as he had said the previous day. “It was nothing more than a moment of weakness,” in that soft, velvety, stoic tone. And thus began a strange arrangement where you’d sleep with your boss whenever he wanted it and you allowed it because you wanted it too.

[rumpelree]

💕Ennard Michael (before he rots) design for my FNAF AU!! As always I’m late to post these from YT. Copy and pasting the massive lore dump for these below!! X3

Michael would absolutely HATE his look here bro does NOT wanna look like his dad whatsoever, and here Liz is dressing him up like him- so, like many other things in my AU, I’m going very canon divergent here. Liz doesn’t think Michael was William, so that’s not why she scooped him. She loves her dad, had a great relationship with him! What happened with Circus Baby? She SHOULD be blaming him but, she blames herself. Like a “I didn’t listen to my dad and look what happened” situation, because he tried to keep her from Circus Baby while she was alone. (Had preventative measures built in too like recognition, so that CB specifically WOULDNT scoop his daughter but. Yk. That failed bc his animatronics are JANK)

Anyways, the Funtimes were coded to be more friendly with her, not kill-y like CB when she malfunctioned and did what she was supposed to do to other kids. Liz blames herself, even if she shouldn’t, her dad shouldn’t have been building child/teen/whatever human would fit murder bots. And even though William kinda like, eventually just straightup left her in there because he couldn’t stand to face what he’d done- she’s stuck, physically AND mentally. Blaming her father is a huge ask, for her. She can’t see her dad being that cruel, because she never knew that side of him. She feels upset about scooping Michael but it was a mix of desperation to get out…and also having never witnessed him growing as a person, only remembering him as her okay/often jerk older brother who got Evan killed. So, she and her band of misfits steal his body,

And when they get out there into the world, obviously, everything’s different. Her immediate family is gone. Initially, Scooped Michael ends up dressed like William as a weird coping mechanism thing. She misses her dad, a lot. And what’s really important for me to portray is that, she’s not evil, nor is any other who kid died and stuffed in an animatronic suit. Imagine going through that, as a kid. She’s not like, 5 years old or something but she’s young, twelve years old when she dies, and I know when I was that age, there was times I’d break down and want nothing other than the comfort of my parents(still do!!), and I wanted the little comic doodles to show some of that! There’s no excuse for the things she does, or the person she becomes(murder-y too), but there IS reasonings, which is very different. (Clarifying since sometimes ppl think I’m excusing what these characters do ack)

💕Additional notes: The gray hairs were a very new addition and a suggestion from my friend, so future drawings will also have it! I was very minimal with the shading on this guy cuz I just needed a design ref for an animatic I’m working on! Though the way I shaded his skin here makes him look a little plastic-y, which is fitting I think! Cuz he’s dead.

I did try to make him vaguely a little blue in the face with purplish/blue lips because Elizabeth at least gives him the mercy of strangulation to death, so he won’t have to. Yknow. Get gutted AS consciously, he was still a bit conscious tho. (Also the tooth gap is from pliers eek)

Also- I wanted to make sure it’s also clear she missed her mom, but her dad was her main source of comfort. So, just wanted to take a peek into that psyche; just a kid, who ended up doing some really horrible things, wants her parent back and cannot- rather, refuses to- fathom the type of person said parent really was.

[hergrandplan]

Nina!!! I feel it is my duty as your enable to ask about Breaking Beds please <3

im wondering if you like. Know what this fic is because you know the premise but idk if i ever mentioned the working title to you... which. honestly I do think I did

very enabler of you indeed

SO . Breaking Beds. my current Big WIP (I have two I'm actively working on, one is a small one-shot, the other is.. this beast of a fic). A title that's btw definitely going to change because even though I got it from a song lyrics, every time I see it I think about Breaking Bad. Very different vibe.

They made their way down to the dining room after Minou called them, Simon falling into step beside Wille. "So… you just live here?" he said, while shamelessly eyeing the portraits they walked past. Wille chuckled. "No, me and Ilse, my fiancee," he clarified when he saw Simon's confused look, "have a house in [rich area]. I won't move here until I become king, and even then I'm planning on keeping my house as an official residence." Simon gave nothing more than a hum, and they continued to walk in silence. What did Simon see, walking through these halls? A lavish display of wealth? A poor use of tax-payers' money?

GOD im even more scared to mention the plot of this one than I am to talk about the Fic that is a Rewrite that I posted about just now but don't want to fully admit what it's a rewrite of yet. but fuck it I posted a snippet of this fic on Sunday, it's happening we ball

BASICALLY this is a fic that kind of came about after listening to Gemini Moon by Reneé Rapp one too many times, and also writing a ficlet based on it. It's an idea I've been playing around with in my head for actual ages, that basically comes down to: what if Wille didn't realize he was queer until he was in his late twenties? And what if he has a fiancee? Who he genuinely loves? And what if the reason he realizes he's queer is because he meets Simon, the author of his biography, and in getting to know Simon and talking about himself so much, he slowly finds out that ... oh. he's not straight at all.

Now this sounds all fine and dandy, but the reason I'm scared is because I'm employing a lot of less standard things. Like... actively cheating. That kind of thing. But I have always been intrigued to write a more messy kind of story, the explore the messiness of humans because damn, we can be messy and why should Wilmon be the exception? It's very interesting for sure and I love writing it but damn if it doesn't also scare me to actually post it lol

Ask me about my WIPs

[girlyassumes]

Success Story #8: Becoming a Likable Main Character

So, this story is based on having good self concept. To clarify, you don’t need great or anywhere close to perfect self concept to manifest what you want. This story in particular just shows what having a good self concept can do and the good effects it can have on your life.

For some context, I wasn’t always some charismatic, well-liked person. Back in high school, I hadn’t come out of my shell at all, I was bullied, and my kindness was taken advantage of. And even in adulthood, I had some messy friendships and relationships years ago where I was also taken advantage of. I’ve also been told a number of times by my sister that we’re just “average” in the looks department and my mom has put so many people in our family down for being a bit heavier. Although I didn’t hate myself and did have some self confidence, there was definitely still a lack of self love. Plus, for years, I was so depressed and confused about my self image. It was to a point where I was crying multiple times a week.

When I started learning about LOA, something in me changed and I felt a lot lighter. I started improving my self concept by deciding to wear what makes me happy/confident, affirming kind things to myself in the mirror, etc. And, although I haven’t manifested everything I’ve been wanting (hence why I said good self concept doesn’t automatically get you your manifestations), my friendships and life as a whole have improved a lot.

The biggest thing I’ve done lately is simply affirm about once or twice a day (something like) “everyone who meets me likes me, “I’m liked by everyone, “everyone adores/loves me,” or “people do what I ask because I’m pretty.” And let me tell you, this simple affirmation has worked like a charm. It makes me feel so good and has changed my life so much.

I really feel like the main character in my reality, as one should. No joke, I walk into work and my bosses and just about everyone I work with greets me enthusiastically. Every time we hire on new people, I click with all of them right away. I have so many coworkers, like over a hundred or close to it (iirc). They’re all so different, too. Me having good self concept on top of affirming that people like me is what makes me get along with all these different people. They reflect the good I see in myself and how much I love myself.

Additionally, I get high praise from all except one boss (but that one is leaving soon anyhow - I manifested that lol). Even the boss that’s known for yelling at workers and being incredibly blunt when they mess up is super gentle with me and apologizes for seeming too harsh. It’s wonderful. Because of this and getting along with coworkers, I’m genuinely happy at my job which surprises some of my coworkers.

TLDR: having good self concept isn’t needed but it can really benefit and amplify whatever it is you’re manifesting. That’s why a lot of coaches and content creators in the community push for bettering your self concept. It’s worked in my favor for certain things in my life - it can work in favor for you, too, that’s the whole point of this success story.

[skepticalarrie]

https://www.tumblr.com/apparentlybychance/778287430763724800?source=share

Alliee, have you read this? I totally agree, and I’d like to add something, but first, let me clarify that I don’t know much about PR and marketing, so I’m speaking more from my experience as a fan:

I’ve also been thinking about why I’ve had such a negative response to Louis’ public image in the last few months and why that didn’t happen with Harry, especially during 2022 and 2023 (which did happen for many fans).

I realized that despite the media, holivia, and emrata heavily pushing the public narrative of Harry, I still connected with him because I saw the real side of Harry at his shows and in some interviews—especially that vulnerability and sensitivity that he’s known for.

But with Louis, it feels totally different because he brings his ‘lads lad’ persona to the stage and almost all his public appearances. I don’t see vulnerability—I see toughness, and it feels inauthentic because that’s not who he is. He’s still sweet. The only real moments we seem to get from him are in pictures with his nieces and nephews and some fan interactions. Personally, I feel like there are very few things that allow me to connect with him right now, and it’s sad.

I’ll still support him, but it’s a bit frustrating at times. I really hope he and his team find a better strategy.

Hi, dear! I have, I just reblogged yesterday, amazing analysis by @apparentlybychance 👏👏

I agree that vulnerability really connects people, and with Louis especially, fans have always had a soft spot for him because of that. From the beginning, he was seen as super sweet and soft, so shutting that down now can feel a little off.

I still see authenticity in him, though. I think leaning into this chav persona is his way of reclaiming his roots, and I’ll always support that—he’s clearly proud of where he comes from, and I love that for him. But I do think he’s pushing it a wayyy too hard and, in the process, neglecting another side of his roots. The same roots that shaped him as an artist—coming from a boyband, being this extremely friendly and comforting presence for fans. It’s a big shift. He’s a complex artist, and it’s totally fair for him to have both sides. But right now, it feels really unbalanced. I can’t blame anyone who’s struggling to find the Louis they always loved in him at the moment. It does seem like he’s pushing that part of himself away more and more, and ironically, that can end up feeling a bit inauthentic too.

[fridayyy-13th]

i really need to stop staying up late when my intrusive thoughts come up again, they always get worse at night. i wanted to do some writing, but i procrastinated too long and now i feel too bad and when i tried, i couldn't focus. so i'm gonna try and go to bed.

[k1tty5]

hello :D please tell me more about your mezalian (is that how you spell it??) smalletho I will forever be indebted to you

(they are gorgeous I love them sm)

hey hi !! it would be my pleasure … (and I’ve been spelling it mezalean ??? but i have no idea LOL. there might be a canon spelling but i havent watched joels esmp1 since… probably since it ended. i will have to check sometime)

apologizing in advance because i will probably get very ramble-y!!

ummm. Oh god. How to start. Lets see. WELL. In this silly little au (i guess it has become a bit more than just me doodling designs LOL) in my head they have like this sort of zelink dynamic? obviously without all the zelda lore & stuff, just that kind of … okay forgive me I haven’t brushed up on my zelink lore for a good many years but. Like the princess and her personal knight that doesn’t really talk much sort of thing.

this made more sense in my head. But yeah. They have the vibes of zelink ? At least if i remember zelink right, I have a really bad memory :’) not exactly the same, i do think etho talks to joel (whereas if iirc link never really talks) - especially after getting to know him a bit - but just. they have the Vibes. You know?

I reckon Joel’s definitely very into sculpting in this au, maybe dabbles a little in painting - I imagine mezalea to be very heavy on art and expression in general. think you’d especially see lots of pottery and textiles all around the place. He probably also has an interest in some form of like. um. whats the word. Some sort of … fighting. lmao. Specifically thinking of fencing, i had this idea in my head that he’s watched Etho practice outside the palace at some point and is just absolutely fascinated and enamored. by both the practice and etho himself haha.

and for etho… talented swordsman? he is Not washed. i dont really have many ideas for his character in this au To be completely honest, mostly just of his personality. Although, I alsooo think he’s probably not actually from mezalea? I like to draw him with those pointy elf ears, and i think mezaleans are just humans. I cant remember if thats canon or not but um. mezaleans have human ears, so i’d imagine etho’s probably from like.. rivendelle? Is that. What it’s called. The elf guys? Are they elves??? Goodness I cant remember. Grimlands would make sense too since i THINK they’re kind of like. technical engineer guys? but i dont know what species they are um so ,,, yeah,,,,

i think joel’s probably a bit put off by etho at first, mostly just because he’s not super enthused about the idea of a personal guard, but also because the guys a bit odd, you know? but he’s also probably suuuper intrigued by him. he wants to figure this new guy out, and when they start talking a bit more, i think. They are both incredibly charmed by the other. head over heels? possibly.

most of my ideas of this au are just little scenes that are cute and silly but dont follow any main plot. I would love to write some one-shots of some of the ideas i have in the future, but as of right now im experiencing a bout of creative burnout and am busy with the holidays - spending time with family, so… not right now lol!

hopefully this is what you wanted,,,, i tend to get very ramble-y when talking about literally anything, so i do apologize for that haha, i am Not good at explaining things in simple ways, as i’ve said many a time before.

[quietwingsinthesky]

people are saying he « led her on » because he did. the fact that he kissed her in the first episode set the tone for the rest of the season and if you can’t perceive the flirting I’m sorry but how?? he didn’t make anything clear he sent the craziest mixed signals in the world. there’s nothing revolutionary about claiming that Martha was being pushy toward someone who was clearly not interested it’s 1) weird to claim in what it suggests about her 2) factually not true.

I wasn’t gonna respond to this at first because the top half of this ask is pretty much just individual interpretation and I don’t really care about it. Like, no, to me, the Doctor doesn’t seem especially flirty towards Martha. He’s just sort of Like That. That’s his damage, you know, Mr. I need to traumadump on anyone who tolerates being around me for more than five minutes. Mr. If I don’t develop an intensely codependent emotional bond with the companion I have currently I’ll die. It doesn’t read to me as him trying to lead her on because that bit’s honest, and he does it with damn near every companion he’s ever had.

And if nothing else, because we do see Ten when he tries to flirt intentionally and he’s a fuckin dork about it. Kind of guy who looked up romance in the dictionary and took notes. Kinda guy who draws diagrams to maximize kissing potential. It would have been obvious even to me (<- romance-blind as all fuck) if he was flirting with Martha on purpose because he’s not smooth at all; he flirts like he’s gotten lines in a play and he’s super excited to be the main star.

But anyway, as I was saying, that’s just how I see it. And if you see it different, no skin off my back, I just disagree.

But I take umbrage with you putting words in my mouth. I never said Martha was pushy towards him. Because yeah, she’s not. If I implied that she was, then it was a result of poor phrasing on my part. Martha’s not at fault for what she feels, for wanting there to come something of it. No more at fault than the Doctor is for not returning those feelings. It’s a bit weird that you’re assuming that I think one of them has to be the bad guy here when that was the opposite of what I was saying. My point was: When it comes to their romantic subtext of their relationship, it’s weird to pretend like either of them are to blame for them not being in a relationship at the end of s3, and even weirder to assert that as part of why Martha supposedly wouldn’t like the Doctor afterwards when they’re. friends. they continue to be friends into s4.

Martha’s not pushy. She has a crush on her friend. It happens. He doesn’t return it. This also happens. Both of these facts are pushed to the extreme because he’s a time-traveling alien with poor emotional skills and she’s put herself in the position of needing to help him from minute one of meeting each other. That’s why it’s fun to watch, because the Doctor is both so open and so unavailable in turns, because Martha’s feelings for him grow and change as she knows more about her Doctor until she decides to step back.

I don’t know, man. You seem to be coming at this as if one of them has to be The Problem™️. I don’t think either of them is, not so definitively. I think boiling their relationship down to that is reductive and an insult to the way they both grow over s3, to Martha’s choice to continue to be his friend while also establishing her own boundaries, to the fact that the Doctor is able to let her go without immediately trying to kill himself afterwards when she’s not there to catch him.

[lemongogo]

why do i love the conflict more than anything else . the misery . the incompatibility that spreads like oil slick . wanting so desperately for resolution that never comes . hmmm

[skunkes]

[chemdisaster]

i'm thinking about joel's "i am the best i'm the greatest human being to ever walk this earth" persona, and about how often he actually gets complimented by other people. because wouldn't constantly acting like he believes himself to be the pinnacle of humanity make people less likely to say genuine nice things about him? in fact, it'd make him a bigger target for teasing because, well, his head's big enough as it is. and even if it's obvious that it's an act, who, upon hearing someone say something incredibly self-obsessed, agrees with them? teasing them, taking them down a peg is simply the natural response. so i wonder how all of the above would mix with joel's boatload of insecurities that he very clearly has under the surface.

[jakotsuto]

btw I don’t talk about it as much but another reason I love the BO7/Mount Hakurei arc, is because it’s so significant to Kikyou. The closer we draw to the arc on our rewatch, the more apparent it becomes that Kikyou is gradually becoming “herself” again.

like!!! I love Kikyou sm. shed’s gotten a lot of shit over the years because we can’t:

Have complex female characters

Have a love “triangle” with without siding with one love interest and absolutely trashing the other

but she’s a good character and I have so many abstract thoughts about her and the significance of the BO7 arc with hers, etc and I just LOVE Kikyou.

[good-beans]

I know most of our focus goes (rightfully) to the trial songs, but I genuinely believe Baptism of Fire is equally a masterpiece of meaningful writing and intense vocal acting

Incoming tag rant because I need to yell about this, feel free to yell back

[yrlocalghost]

what i will say is that i think a very big issue for me right now with my appearance is just that due to stress and i guess just time, i feel like i have very visibly aged and probably look older than my age. and inherently there is nothing wrong with that but i kind of wish i could still pass off as young enough that when i say i haven’t really done anything with my life or anything, people are understanding and say that i still have time. i don’t know, i just feel like i am out of time

[scarletfasinera]

Had an opportunity to talk about my goal to read The Anatomy of Melancholy in 2025 with my best friend's brother & his girlfriend. She's a literature teacher, so she recognized it and seemed really impressed by the goal. She's was like "Wow! Isn't it like 1500 pages? That's a really good goal for the year, please keep me updated on your progress!" and when I got really serious and said "I'm GOING to read it entirely. It's my White Whale." she laughed & started clapping & nodding at me.

[flash-lighter]

I made my own blog and then immediately disappeared from front for three days, anyways hello everybody I’m back :)

Anyways I’ve been considering posting this for awhile but I wasn’t sure how the reactions to it would be oh well I’m going to do it anyways, this is what I look like in system! For anyone who might have been curious :)

Both of these I drew myself, by the way