#how do I function as a normal society member
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I’d like to thank @llamagoddessofficial and @aka-indulgence for filling my maladaptive daydreams
Had to sketch my latest obsession- Horror Sans from aka-indulgence fic “Stay” and hmf!Sans by both mentioned above <3
#I blame y’all writers for my obsessions#I seriously cannot stop help me#how do I function as a normal society member#Horror still best boy#hmf sans#horrortale sans#my art
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do you ever wonder whether Ichigo had dreams as a kid? did he ever lay in bed, after being tucked in by his loving mother, and imagine his future? and do you ever think about Ichigo, right after his youth, spent being a weapon of war, has ended? about him coming home after a tiring day, filled with what is, in comparison, trivial human matters, and just sitting there for a moment? and then coming to bed and trying very hard to not imagine anything at all? do you? because I don’t!
#bleach#kurosaki ichigo#subscription to childhood cancelled at 9#subscription to youth at 15#get this man some therapy#I can’t imagine going to school taking exams and applying to fuckass universities after being a veteran of TWO wars#and he’s not even legally an adult yet#also imagine how shitty it is not being able to pull the ‘I am a war veteran’ card bc technically he isn’t?#do you think he’s capable of actually being a fully functioning member of society? bc I doubt it#oh yes. the going to war then becoming an adrenaline junky pipeline. my favourite#but the normal stuff like bungee jumping or wtvr isn’t doing it for you. violence is.#this where grimmjow comes in#aaand#grimmichi#I did say I could turn anything into grimmichi ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ
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Pipsqueak's Halloween
Ellie Carpenter x Daniëlle van de Donk x Child!Reader
Summary: The seventh of my Halloween-centric fics
When Ellie first found out how seriously you and Daan took Halloween, she hadn't expected this.
She'd expected some trick or treating, of course. Maybe some horror movies, child appropriate obviously. There may have been pumpkin carving but Ellie hadn't ever considered she would be sitting in the car by herself.
She drums the side of the steering wheel, eyes narrowed as she leans forward to check through the windscreen.
All the other families she spies aren't you and Daan.
It wouldn't be difficult to spot either of you.
You're both wearing very stupid Teletubby onesies that makes you stick out from a mile away.
But, yet, you're both nowhere to be found until maybe half an hour (and two packets of skittles) later when Ellie spots one red and one green furry onesie come sprinting up the road.
Daan's yelling something that Ellie can't hear, mouth moving.
Ellie frowns, trying to lip read.
You're yelling something too.
You can't quite keep up with Daan's pace, you're still a kid after all, but Daan's half tugging you along, a tight grip on your hand.
In the end, Ellie loses the lip reading battle and just rolls down the window, sticking her head out of it.
"What?!"
"Start the car!"
"What?!"
"Start the car!"
"Huh?"
"The car!" You interrupt, opening Ellie's door and clambering in, climbing over her to go tumbling into the back," Start it!"
Ellie barely has any time to react as Daan also uses her now open door to climb in. She hauls herself over Ellie's body, slamming the door shut at the same time on her way to the front passenger seat.
"Start the car!" You both snap at her as you spy someone else come running down the street towards you.
"Okay, okay," Ellie says," We're going. We're going."
She throws the car in reverse, backing out of her parking spot as the man who ran after you yells and shakes his fist.
"Did-Did you two do something to him?" Ellie asks," He looked pretty angry."
"I don't know," Daan says," Some people just have those kind of faces. It was nothing."
"Really? He was pretty angry."
"Some people just don't know how to take a joke, Ellie," You say from the backseat.
Ellie frowns, angling her rear view mirror to look at you properly.
You've got the same innocent, butter wouldn't melt in your mouth smile that you wore when Ellie found all of her bras hidden under the sofa cushions and her phone chargers in the back of the fridge.
"Alright," She says, slamming on the breaks," What did you two do? Huh? What did you do this time?"
Ellie isn't used to being the voice of reason of the family.
That's normally Daan, which is another surprising thing for people outside of the family to realise. But Daan's been your mother for years now and she's used to all your tricks and even though she can be a bit childish herself, she's still trying to raise you as a functioning member of society.
So, usually, Daan is the voice of reason in the family.
Especially on occasions where she catches you and Ellie attacking each other with Nerf guns in the early hours of the morning.
But there are times, like this one, where Daan's childish side comes out and Ellie comes to the startling realisation that two Van de Donks is maybe two too many.
"Ellie, you're in the middle of the street," You say, still smiling innocently at her," You can't park here."
"There's no cars coming," Ellie says," And stop deflecting. What did you do?"
"Ellie," Daan says, wearing a matching smile," Why do you think we did something?"
"Because men running after you down the street, you demanding I make a break for it, all on Halloween means you were up to something."
You giggle. "You're so silly, Ellie. Turn right here."
"Are you really giving me orders right now?" Ellie deadpans," We're not moving until you tell me what happened."
"That's fine," You say," We can walk."
Ellie switches on the locks.
"We egged his house!" You say instantly and Daan groans.
"You weren't supposed to tell her!"
"You egged his house?!"
"Yes," Daan says," She just told you that."
"You-You can't go egging people's houses! It's wrong! It takes ages to clean up and-and that man had a right to be angry with you!"
From the backseat, you shrug.
"Yeah and people shouldn't be getaway drivers for people who egg other people's houses. I guess we've all been incriminated here."
#woso x reader#danielle van de donk x reader#danielle van de donk#ellie carpenter x reader#ellie carpenter#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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knowing damn well that i haven't been touched by you
Buck’s been having a really weird year. Buck died, and he realised he was bisexual, and he got a boyfriend, and Christopher left and went to Texas after he walked in on Eddie kissing his dead mother’s doppelganger, Eddie had grown a depression mustache, and Gerrard was back at the helm of the 118 and Buck felt like he was starring in a Netflix Original about how a perfectly normal, functional, member of society was driven to commit murder.
- or, Buck's got a boyfriend, Eddie comes out and starts dating men, and Buck loses his entire mind, actually.
ao3 link
Buck’s been having a really weird year.
He got struck by lightning, and he died (for three minutes and seventeen seconds – and sometimes he thinks he still catches Eddie counting the seconds past that, reassuring himself that Buck is alive, and he’s here, and he’s breathing, and most times Buck catches himself counting along with Eddie, needing the assurance of his own existence) and then he came out as bisexual. The two things weren’t related, he knew. Buck didn’t think they were related, at least – he’d heard of people suddenly speaking new languages after they’d been struck by lightning, but he’d never heard of anyone’s sexuality changing as a result of a lightning strike, so he figured he needed to blame that one on a lifetime of unconscious repression.
Buck died, and he realised he was bisexual, and he got a boyfriend, and that was also weird. Not that Tommy was weird, or anything – it was just weird to say he had a boyfriend. Tommy had a spare toothbrush in Buck’s ensuite bathroom, and a shirt he’d left behind one evening after Buck had spilled red wine on him (it was good to know he still got clumsy with his feelings even when they were for a man) and it hadn’t gotten more serious than that, yet, but Buck still had a boyfriend, and it was strange to say that out loud.
Buck died, and he realised he was bisexual, and he got a boyfriend, and Christopher left and went to Texas after he walked in on Eddie kissing his dead mother’s doppelganger (fair, but also: Eddie was at the very least having a weirder year than Buck) and Buck’s best friend had been in a pretty consistent downward spiral since.
Eddie wasn’t self-destructing in a familiar way, which Buck also felt was weird. Buck had known Eddie for seven years now, and he’d considered Eddie his very best friend for six years and eleven months of that time, and so he was intimately familiar with the ways in which Eddie liked to self-destruct. Cage fighting, for one, and smashing up his bedroom, for another – but fundamentally, Buck knew, Eddie lashed out and tried desperately to grab onto the things he could control as his life fell apart, but this time, he wasn’t doing that.
Eddie had grown a depression mustache. That was definitely new – though, Buck supposed there was some element of control in there too, Eddie changing up his appearance because it was one of the few aspects of his life he had control of. The depression mustache gave Eddie a sort of sad Freddie Mercury energy that, frankly, kind of worked for Eddie. He was like a depressed 80s popstar. Very demure, very mindful – May had told him that. Buck still wasn’t sure if he understood the reference. He’d had TikTok for a while, but raging ADHD and shortform video content was a recipe for disaster, he’d quickly learned, so he’d deleted the app, and – anyway, the point was, Eddie was morphing into depressed Freddie Mercury, just without any real fashion sense. Sorry, Eddie.
read the rest on ao3
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of fishes and chocolate muffins. ksm.
kim seungmin x gn!reader — working the morning shift at a cafe on weekdays isn't really the best, entertainment wise. still, eavesdropping on your customers wasn't something you did on a daily basis. it just so happened that two of your regulars had something in store for you today.
GENRE/S — fluff, humor, a pinch of angst, cafe/coffee shop au, writer!seungmin (barely mentioned) • 1.2k words
WARNING/S — profanity for humor, seungmin is pretty down in the dumps for most of this, part 2 of this fic but a different y/n, mentions of unrequited love
( ✒️ ) happy birthday to @seungiepaws !! here's your request for a part 2 of universe lovie, i know i said i'll do a drabble as a gift but it ended up a little longer so you're getting a whole fic mwah <3 i hope you like it
2024 ⓒ starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.
The small bell perched on top of the cafe’s entrance door chimed softly at the arrival of a new customer. Your well-rehearsed greetings immediately followed, words racing out of your lips before you could even think twice. It really didn’t matter whether you meant them or not. As long as the guest felt welcomed, then that meant you were already doing your job well.
You doubt any of them ever even acknowledged your efforts, anyway. That was just how the world worked on a normal Monday morning—everyone running on autopilot until the seemingly brainless hoard of zombies got their lethal dose of caffeine or sugar and started acting like proper functioning members of society for the rest of the day. Then, the cycle repeats.
As an “all-rounder” cafe employee (as you liked to call yourself), this was just another day in the bigger scale of the year. Not too important, nor was it a particularly boring day. That simply wasn’t possible if you were working at a cafe, or really, just working in general.
“You’re always here, dude.” An exasperated voice groans from the window booth next to the serving counter. You recognized his face right away as one of your regulars who looked like a hamster. “At this point, you need to pay this place rent.”
The man he was talking to rolled his eyes with a scoff, even though his fingers never stopped typing on his laptop’s keyboard. “I’m a paying customer. Objectively, I’m already giving them money to stay here.”
You couldn’t help but silently snort at the guy’s comeback. He wasn’t entirely wrong, after all. This cafe’s prices already took into account the amenities they could use here. So technically speaking, as long as customers bought something from the cafe’s menu, they could stay for as long as they want until the establishment closes. That’s not usually the case, though. Most people still had places to be and other things to do other than have a staycation on some random cafe seat.
Note that you said “most” instead of “all”. Of course, there were always bound to be those who, for the lack of a better description—overstayed their welcome.
And one of them is that chestnut-haired male who was currently getting berated by his friend.
“Seungmin, seriously!” The other guy, who you finally remembered being named Jisung from his previous orders, exclaimed in concern. “You can’t just stay here all day, every day. I know you’re trying to get over your roommate, but at least make use of your rent?” Jisung almost pleads.
You really didn’t mean to eavesdrop on their conversation, as the topic seemed awfully private, but what exactly could you do from the close proximity of the counter and their booth? It’s not like you were judging the two of them. There was no harm intended, and you were sure you’d still go about your day as usual with or without this newly obtained knowledge from strangers.
Seungmin sighed. “I don’t think you want me to be cooped up in my room writing either, so what do you really want to achieve?” His hands finally parted ways from his keyboard for the first time in about an hour. “Jisung, you know being alone in the apartment is only going to remind me of how my roommate is out there with their boyfriend being all happy and enjoying life while I’m over here writing sappy fictional love stories because I don’t have one of my own.”
“Oh, but you do.” Jisung huffs. “It’s just the unrequited kind.”
“Haha, very funny.”
“Just saying,” he comments. “I’m gonna let you sulk all you want as part of your healing process, but you really shouldn’t be sacrificing yourself just for the thought of them. You deserve better, Min.”
If you could only agree out loud, then you already would’ve. Unfortunately, that meant revealing the fact that you’ve been secretly listening in to the personal conversations of your customers, and you weren’t completely sure if that was even legal for you to do so. Still, what are they going to do? Charge you for having ears?
“I don’t know,” Seungmin mutters. “I’ll manage it eventually.” And to this, Jisung only frowns.
Now, you were just as frustrated as Jisung was. Seungmin is an attractive guy—you were one hundred percent certain that he could get anyone head-over-heels for him if he wanted. And yet, here he was, a monotone mess over unrequited love? Whoever that roommate is, they had severely failed to see the vision since if that was you, best believe you weren’t letting him go just like that.
Seungmin had honestly caught your eye ever since the moment he started going to this cafe. To put things into perspective, you were practically all smiles for the rest of the day every time he came to order something in the mornings before his daily schedule. When he started staying for whole days, it was only a matter of time before you ended up shooting your shot, even if you barely knew anything about him. Heck, the most you even knew about him was that he liked the chocolate muffins the most here!
A plate of chocolate muffin was heavily plopped down on the two men’s table, startling them due to the sudden act. They exchanged confused glances before Jisung cleared his throat to speak. “Uh—we didn’t order that.”
“It’s on the house.” You pursed your lips.
“What?” Seungmin asks, dumbfounded. You knew he was going to ask for a reason until he saw the look on your face while staring at him. His expression quickly shifted to one of mortification. “Were—were you eavesdropping on us?”
You clicked your tongue. How were you finding his reaction to that so cute? “Look, I didn’t mean to,” you explain. “See that counter? Just how far do you think my station is to your booth for me not to hear a single thing?” Seungmin only grumbles—probably to hide his embarrassment.
“Alright, sure. Whatever,” he says. “I still don’t need that muffin.”
Your eye twitched involuntarily. All of a sudden, you were already leaning on their table with narrowed eyes pointed at the laptop-facing man. “Okay, listen here, you soggy rained-on puppy.” You could have sworn you heard Jisung choke. “This is gonna sound really shitty of me, but there are plenty more fish in the sea. The same goes for your experiences in life. Trust me, you’re not even close to losing those opportunities yet. Unless you’re trying to live like a saint, that is. So grow some balls after your little pity party.”
“That was,” Seungmin exhales shakily. “Vaguely threatening. But somehow I’m not as offended as I thought I would be, so—uh, thanks?” He taps lightly on the plastic cup of his drink, looking away awkwardly.
You lifted yourself off the table and crossed your arms. “My name is Y/N. I work here every morning on the weekdays.”
“Right,” he hums, still not glancing your way and instead facing the baked good you dropped by their tabletop. “So, is this muffin really free?”
All you let yourself give him was a nonchalant shrug. “Yeah. Just call me whenever or something. Congratulations on hooking a new fish,” you said without shame before walking away back to your station.
If you only looked back for a moment, you would’ve seen Jisung gasping for air from laughter with an incredibly red faced Seungmin blanking out as he held a serious staring contest with his muffin.
You could only hope that cheered him up a bit.
MASTERTAG ━ STATUS: OPEN — ASK OR COMMENT 🫶
@fairyki @hysgf @euncsace @comet-falls @starlostseungmin @ameliesaysshoo @hyunverse @wnbnny @xocandyy @minluvly @moon0fthenight @estellaluna @hanjsquokka @starlostastronaut @minsueng @l3visbby @myjisung
#starseungs — library.#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#kim seungmin imagines#seungmin imagines#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#kim seungmin x reader#seungmin x reader#stray kids fluff#skz fluff#kim seungmin fluff#seungmin fluff#stray kids fanfic#skz fanfic#kim seungmin fanfic#seungmin fanfic#stray kids fanfiction#skz fanfiction#kim seungmin fanfiction#seungmin fanfiction#skz#stray kids#kim seungmin#seungmin
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Cake
Summary: Nanami Kento has a bubble butt, and you love it. 🎂
Characters: Nanami Kento x AFAB!Reader
Word Count: 935
Warnings: Butt groping, biting, fluff
A/N: just a drabble inspired by a conversation with @sugurubabe ! I would bounce nickles off that butt.
Nanami Kento had a bubble butt, one that looked amazing in his tailored suit. You could easily spot him across the courtyard at the school. It was so full and slapable, but you had to refrain from allowing yourself to let your hormones take over.
At least when you were in the public eye.
It was free range when you were alone or in the comfort of your own home! Nanami never knew when you’d lose yourself to your carnal desires. But he always felt it. He could be walking in front of you down an alleyway and SMACK! The impact would make him jolt and hiss through his teeth as you giggle like a gremlin bolting off in front of him. Or he could be just minding his business making tea in the kitchen to feel you grope both cheeks in your hands and massage him. Nanami would sigh as he gripped the counter, waiting for you to satisfy your needs.
The fact you were obsessed with his ass didn't bother him. He almost found it endearing. If giving him a smack or massage made you happy, he would roll his eyes with a chuckle and wait for you to hurry off before going about your day with a pep in your step.
Smacks and massages were normal, something that happened nearly every day. You like to throw in the occasional pinch now and then to keep him on his toes! But for the most part, Nanami Kento was used to your antics.
At least, he thought he was.
The sun had set by the time you got home after an exhausting day at work. You had no energy to eat, watch TV, or function as a contributing member of society. You could only take a hot shower and crawl into bed to snuggle your boyfriend.
The thoughts of the warm water against your muscles kept you moving forward until you stepped through the doorway into your bedroom. The nightstand light was on, illuminating the room in a warm yellowish hue. One that highlighted the curves of your boyfriend's body, who was lazily flipping the page of his book. He must have gotten out of the shower recently because his hair was still damp. But he was ready for bed as he lounged in his black t-shirt and blue and black plaid sweats.
The same plaid sweats that hugged his ass perfectly.
You stared at his bubble butt, mouth-watering as your hands twitched and screamed for you to smack it, pinch it, and massage it. But deep, deep down, the gremlin in you wanted more. It was desperate for more. There was an aching in your teeth, and you knew what needed to be done.
Your boyfriend was so enthralled in his book that he never heard you coming. He hummed, flipping the page as you tip-toed towards the side of the bed, eyes locked in on your target. Just as he flipped another page, you struck.
You jumped forward, chomping your teeth down on his bootylicious butt. Nanami’s whole body went stiff. His eyes went wide, hands dropping the book he held before he jerked his head to look back at you. You were chomping down on his ass over and over again, moving from the left cheek to the right, making Nanami’s whole face turn bright red.
“What is wrong with you?!” He asked as you finally pulled away. Admiring the wet bite marks you left in your wake.
“Just had to try the cake you so kindly had on display~!” You go in for another bite only to have him clench his cheeks together. “Awee! Kento, don’t clench so tight! How can I bite down if you do that?!”
“That's sort of the whole point!”
With a pout, you sigh softly, getting up, smacking his plump ass. “Fine~ thanks for the meal.” Turning on your heel, Nanami sighed, relaxing against the bed and turning his head to watch you walk away with flushed cheeks. Only to watch you turn back around, pouncing on the bed and chomping down on his now unclenched ass.
“Ah!” Nanami growled as you both wrestled each other. “You brat!” he grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked it gently, pulling you off of him.
You were a giggling, flushed mess. You bit your lip, and your nose scrunched up as Nanami chuckled. You were absolutely adorable despite your need to sink your teeth into him. Nanami gently pulled you up, wrapping his arms around you.
“You’re lucky you’re cute.” You giggle louder, nuzzling your face into his chest.
“I love you, Kento.”
“I love you too.” He held you close. “But I'm keeping you here until the urge to bite my ass is gone.” You perked up, and the sudden moment caused your boyfriend to tighten his gaze. “Stop.”
Your bottom lip stuck out as faux sorrow tugged at your features. “I can't bite you ass?”
“No.”
“Just your ass?”
“Yes, Love, my ass is off limits.”
“Oh good.”
There was a mischievous tone in your voice. One that had every muscle in Nanami’s body tensing up as he slowly turned to look at you. There was no time to react or protest as you bit down his pectoral, nibbling and chewing at the muscle. Nanami stroked your head with a heavy sigh, smiling wide as your teeth nibbled gently over him. If this made you happy, he’d let you have fun.
Forever Tag List:
@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe e @chilichopsticks @reap3erslov3
#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk#jjk reader insert#jjk y/n#jjk men#jjk nanami x reader#jjk nanami#jjk nanami kento#jujutsu kaisen reader insert#jujutsu kaisen#nanami imagine#reader x nanami#nanamin#jujutsu nanami#jujutsu kaisen nanami#nanami kento#kento nanami#nanami x reader#nanami fluff#nanami x you#nanami x y/n#jjk kento nanami#jujutsu kaisen nanami kento#jjk kento#jujutsu kaisen kento#kento smut#kento x reader#kento x y/n#kento x you
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arcane ep 1 dashboard simulator
🌉 pilt-power Follow
did we all hear about the explosion in the kiramman building in midtown? somebody's getting fired and i hope its old cassie
��️ kirammankitty Follow
literally get off her case? yes it was an apprenta from her clan whos apartment was blown up but its not her fault. she is a mother and a fully functioning member of society you're just jealous you'll never be as rich and influential as she is
🌉 pilt-power Follow
don't know how to tell you this but she's not gonna fuck you.
#some people wanna eat the rich and not in the cannibalistic way #anways fuck the kirammans
🏚️ zaun-and-zest Follow
deckard won't admit it but he got his ass handed to him by a girl. so much for his hardass exterior
🥊 fist-in-your-face Follow
are you saying girls can't fight?
🌐 worldstarzaun Follow
i saw thatttt bro, she let him have it. we were like let him get up, let him get up #deckardassbeating
🏚️ zaun-and-zest Follow
no i'm implying he is weaker than a girl do not put words in my mouth i will enforce my foot up your ass
🍃 downthesump420 Follow
i swear to janna if that pleasure house yordle makes eyes at me again i'm jumping into the pilt and filing a restraining order
🏩 babettes-saggy-tits Follow
why is it you. what do you have that i do not?
👤 life-in-the-lanes-deactivated-3404985 Follow
those damn kids have got the fucking enforcers breaking down my door and for WHAT. this is why i don't want kids they are too much trouble. normalize celibacy
🍺 alkaholical Follow
you won't have that chance have kids bc nobody will sleep with you unless you pay them
👤 life-in-the-lanes-deactivated-3404985 Follow
my mother will know your name
🐹 deathtoheimer Follow
you aren't living in zaun if you don't have multiple organ failure!!!!
🐹 deathtoheimer Follow
👮🏾 grayson-fanpage Follow
Grayson sighted in the Lanes, at Benzo's shop.
🚨 graysonsulimatefanboy Follow
grayson pick me please pick me please pick me please pick me please pick me please pick me im on my knees pleace pick me plouse pick me come over i'm at 69 sidereal st
🫄graysoncocksleeve Follow
mommy longdick just landed back in the lanes!!!!!! welcome mommy longdick!!!!
🚓 graysontheemilf Follow
now what is she doing in the ghetto? free my milf!!! grayson come home baby, the kids miss you!!
🔗 graysons-left-asscheek Follow
humilating how you all are begging over an enforcer who enables piltover's unjust presence and occupation of zaun. disgusting!!! the gray has muddled your minds. that being said, i need grayson to dom me.
🚫 defundthenenforcers Follow
using this post as a blocklist, all of you are sick fucks
🍻 thelastfop Follow
fuck that piltie marcus his stupid face makes me want to kill someone
💦 dilfvander Follow
a fellow marcus hater on my dash??? legendary because i hate that sleeze bag too. i hope he stubs his toe every morning and gets an itch he can never scratch and falls into the pilt and is run through a ship propeller and his remains float out to bilgewater where he becomes fish food. dishonor on him and his family fr.
🍻 thelastfop Follow
bro said
#guess who's rewatching arcane for the 1000th time and is about to make it your problem!!!!!!#it's me#idk if this is anything but know there is more to come#arcane#arcane dashboard#arcane unreality#fake dashboard#dashboard simulator#arcane league of legends#arcane lol
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SFW Fluff Alphabet w/ Jason Todd
A= How affectionate are they
he's like a teddy bear and wants to cuddle all the time
he always wants a kiss or a hug and wants you to know how much he loves you
Jason's affection knows no bounds- he makes sure that you feel great and are doing perfect and that everything in life is alright
Cold? He's got a hoodie and a blanket. Sad? He's a leather shoulder to cry on. Happy? He's happy too
he likes to be touching at any moment
On patrol you're rubbing shoulders and he's as close to you as possible without straight up hugging you, he's got a hang on your back, hand on your thigh, he's got both hands holding your hands, you two link pinkies, his hand is in your hair, his hand is on your cheek, any form of touch
B= Bond- What do you bond over
Jay really, really likes reading so if you're into reading, he wants to talk about it a lot
if you're not a reader, well surprise, you are now
hearing him talk so highly of his books makes you want to read, just so you can talk to him more about them
He likes to work on his bike and clean his weapons so if you're down to help him, he'd be so excited
if you also have a tragic backstory, get ready to trauma dump with each other
he's got a deep respect for those who have lived through terrible tragedies and are still functioning members of society (even if it's partial functioning)
C= Cuddles- How do they cuddle
Cuddle monster
like it's cheesy but it's how you describe him
he also loves sleeping on top of you with his head buried in your neck or using your chest as a pillow and he's got his arms wrapped tightly around you
he likes to be the big spoon since he finds it uncomfortable for someone his sized to be cuddled lol
he's a giant so just let him tuck you into his chest and snooze away
he likes to cuddle in minimal clothing sometimes, not in a sexy way but in a he really likes having you close to him at all times
plus, he's a space heater so it's not like you're going to get cold
D= Domestic- What are they like domestically
he loves being domestic
you two have a nice medium sized apartment with a guest room or two and your bedroom and an office maybe with a big kitchen and living room and a washer and dryer room
He makes bank on that criminal mastermind gig
Plus, if you're working, it helps being dual income
He really likes cleaning around the house and you think it's a stress reliever for him
there are temporary dance breaks during cleaning and he likes to dip you down and kiss you to whatever song is playing- he secretly finds it adorable when you dance on his feet and he will not complain, but don't tell a soul deary
he really really really likes to cook too
Your place always smells like a master piece and Jason really likes going to William Sonoma
it's the fanciest place that he will willingly go to
E= Ego- How much do they think about themselves in a relationship
He's got boundaries like a normal human being, but the dude is really selfless
Jason just wants everything to be alright and he is able to make compromises where they need to be made
the one thing that he really, really cares about is making sure that his weapons, bike, helmet, and things are all in check
I wouldn't recommend going around and messing with anything unless you have to
Like he's not going to be mad at you, but Jason just prefers that that stuff gets left alone unless specifically told otherwise
F= Fights- How are they during and after fights
fights are few and in between but when they happen, they happen
it's not really ever over anything small because you can quickly just talk it out with Jason
if it's over something like a mission or safety or doing something reckless, it's a big fight
he doesn't yell, he hates yelling at you, but his eyes go dark and he's so angry
he's probably clenching his jaw and just has to take a minute to cool off at some points
"I'm not ignoring you, I just can't talk about this while I'm this angry about it."
and he'll go on a brisk walk to cool off
he comes back and sits down and talks about it less angry
Alfred once told him, "it's not you against Y/N, it's you and Y/N against the problem. Don't be upset with each other that you have differing views or wants, that's how humans work, we're all different. Anger only gets grown men into bat costumes Master Jason."
G= Growth- How does your relationship change them
Jason actually becomes more secure in himself
it's like you've taught him that he deserves to be loved, so it's easier for him to accept that he doesn't hate himself
he's more patient, more deliberate with the things that he does and says and because of this, he comes home from patrol less and less injured
H= Hugs-What are hugs like
big bear hugs
he likes to engulf you and make sure that you're not leaving for a little while
He likes all kinds of hugs because it means that he's close to you, but he prefers the ones that turn into cuddle sessions
he'll run his hands through your hair or scratch your back
sometimes when he's having a bad day, he just needs to burry his head in the crook of your neck and have you whisper that it's going to be alright
I= I love you- How fast did it take for them to say II love you
he doesn't say it too fast, but he also doesn't take forever to say it
It's maybe like a year or a bit less into dating and he has to leave for a mission
You were either not going to go because you're not a vigilante, or you needed to stay behind to make sure that some crime mob wasn't starting back up
He says "I love you" when he's about to leave
He doesn't want to leave you, but he knows he has to
He hugs you so tight when you say it back
it means the world to him that you care about him like that
it's a rib crushing soul and he thinks about it the entire mission
J= Jealousy- How jealous are they
I'd say he can be pretty jealous but also he's easily leveled off
if someone is taking your attention and he's not getting as much as usual, he inserts himself into conversations or situations like a Golden Retriever
he just kinds of sits there and stares at your or rubs circles on your hang until you give him attention
If it's someone flirting with you, he likes to make some sort of show out of it
If there's someone flirting with you at a gala (which happens a lot), he pulls you in for a dance and kissing you in the middle of the dance floor
You know what he's doing but you're not going to deny it are you
K= Kisses- How do they kiss/ where do they like to be kissed
He likes to be kissed everywhere
his shoulders, his abs, his collarbone, his neck, behind his ear, his cheek, the forehead, on the lips
you name it
he really prefers a real kiss though
that's his go to
L= Love language- What’s their love language
quality time and physical touch
he just wants you
Jason would melt into you at any moment if it meant he got to be close to you
He wants to spend time with you, even if you're not doing the same thing, and he wants his body touching yours somehow
M= Mornings- What are mornings with them like-
he's the kind of guy that sets an early alarm if he has to get up so that he can cuddle
mornings are basically always slow and warm and cozy
he likes to cuddle in the morning and have himself wrapped around you
sometimes before bed, he turns the AC colder so that when you wake up, you have to be close together to keep warm
if he wakes up before you, he'll either go back to sleep, or he plays with your hair until you wake up
N= Nicknames- What are their nicknames for you
doll
babe
love
darling
hottie
hot stuff
angel
love
O= On Patrol- What’s it like being on patrol with them
He likes to keep a close eye on you
You have to learn that it's not because he doesn't trust you, it's because he's always worried about the people he loves getting hurt or dying
he wants to make sure that at any moment something goes South, he's there to protect you
he flirts a lot on patrol
He also likes cracking jokes while he's busting skulls
it's one of the more morbid things he does
he likes to team up on patrol and always wants to know what you're doing and how you're doing
the two of you will often be seen near the bank building eating fast food perched on the ledge
he'll totally take you to his favorite gargoyle don't worry
P= PDA- What’s their stand on PDA
loves PDA, loves touching you
he's not gross about it like he's never making out with you in front of a crowd but he's always got an arm around you or a hand on your thigh
There are plenty of pap pictures of him with his arm wrapped around your shoulder while talking to you or glaring at something/ someone
if you're also famous for something, the paparazzi are always there but ten fold the intensity if you weren't famous
articles are always being written about Gotham's favorite couple
America's favorite couple if you're big enough
Q= Quirks- What are their quirks
he really likes to keep things really, really clean
usually your house is spotless because he's cleaning up after himself and you do the same
sometimes partners just get comfy and leave their crap everywhere
not Jason, he's clean as can be, not because he's uncomfortable around you, but because it's comforting for him to be in a non chaotic space
you know that he's stressed when he starts leaving things everywhere
R= Remember- Do they remember the details or the big picture
Jason remembers everything down to the final detail
there's like an always open compartment in his brain that filters and sorts the information about you and your relationship
he knows what you like and dislike, who you're beefing with at all times, what flavor candies are your favorite, what food you don't like, if there's a spice you don't like, he knows how you prefer your clothes and what color metal for jewelry you prefer, he knows how you like the recoil on your guns if you have any, he remembers the washing detergent that you use and the dryer sheet scent and brand
man knows everything
it's like that one kid that just knows random, niche information that no one expects them to know
he knows it allll
S= Security- How do you two feel around each other
he feels so safe and free around you
he just knows that if there is a problem, you'd be able to handle it
If there was a moment when he was taken out, he knows you'd protect him somehow
he gets all soft around you and he feels comfortable letting his guard down
You can trust that he's always there for you and that no matter what, he's going to be there for you
Jason is loving and attentive and wants to take care of you in any way possible
T= Taste- what do they prefer in a partner
he needs someone that can keep up with him
he's an intellectual, even if doesn't seem like it
he's an analytical person and needs someone that can have conversations with him and be on his level
Like you really don't have to be a straight A student because not all smart people are straight A students
I mean come on, Albert Einstein was reported to be a bad student and he's a genius
he also wants someone that puts some care into themselves
if you're running around without a care in the world, stepping into oncoming traffic because you don't care, it's going to stress him tf out
U= Understanding- How understanding of you are they
Jason is extremely understanding of life
I mean it's screwed him over a few times so he knows that it can get difficult
Jason also needs someone that is understanding of him
they understand why he maybe doesn't want to watch IT, or he sleeps a lot when he can, or he doesn't like loud noises and ticking sounds
Jason being understanding though doesn't mean that he's easy to use
Oh he understands alright
he understands that he hates the people that try and use him for gain
V= Value- What do they value most in a relationship
Jason values someone that will be just as enthusiastic about something as he is
He loves someone that wants to be around him and talk to him
he need someone that he can vent to without judgement
he needs someone that respects his personal boundaries (as any normal human is like)
he needs someone that can understand that even if sometimes he messes up, he's really, really trying to turn out better than he was told he would become
W= Work- Do they balance their work schedule well around your relationship
he's pretty good at balancing work around your relationship
it helps if you're a vigilante too
sometimes things comes up and he has to skip a date or comes home extra late and he really, really hates it and feels so bad about it
he's sure to call and text you all the time to make sure that you never get stood up somewhere or that you know what he's doing and what his intentions are
He never wants you to feel like you're being left behind or put on the back burner
X= Xtra- Extra headcannons
He's got good taste when it comes to interior design
he got an apartment where he did to make sure that it would always have sunlight during the day
I'd say he's a handy person too
I mean he worked with Bruce his entire life and does mechanics, he can't be that bad at fixing a bad pipe or general maintenance
Y= Yearning- How much do they miss you when you’re apart
Jason hates LOATHS being without you
if you're out of town for a mission or something, he doesn't sleep well and he struggles to chill out
he's always on edge wondering if there's something wrong that needs fixing
whenever you're reunited, he's all over you
the "never leaving you again" mentality
he's not obsessive but he really, really misses you when you're gone
like his other half or one of his lungs is missing
Z) Zeal- How dedicated or enthusiastic about the relationship are they
when he's serious about something, he's all in it
he loves being around you and making leaps in your relationship
he values your company and everything that you have to offer and he just thinks that you're the greatest thing to exist since indoor plumbing
there's no cheating, no longing looks at someone else, there's nothing that indicates anything going on between him and someone else
He's just there for you and that's it
he is yours and yours only and that's how he prefers it to be
#dc x reader#dc comics#dc characters#batfam x reader#batboys x reader#batfam#jason todd x reader fluff#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagine#jason todd fluff#red hood x you#red hood fluff#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#red hood
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"what if, as soon as haitham can dream again, all his dreams are constantly filled with kaveh kaveh kaveh as if seeing him every day in their his home is not enough, he needs him in the nights as well. "
First of all: screams
Second of all: it would be so fucking Funny if Nahida for some reason had to read Al-Haithams mind and all she can find in there is Kaveh.
Or Al-Haitham/Nahida explaining that the reason he didn't fall for the divine knowledge capsule was because he's already completely mad and obsessed with Kaveh./jk Kaveh lives rent free in his heart and mind, he's just learned how to live with it and act like a normal functioning member of society. His poker face is unparalleled.
i have no time to babble bc i lit drew this so fast before i had to leave for work (omw rn) so ill do that later maybe
this is based/in context to this ramble of mine
anw yes i had to doodle this so bad bc it would be so funny (interesting 👀) fr so !!!!! ill talk later, have this rushed sketch
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My live reactions of AYS's final (for now 😌) episode 💛💜
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Jimin really had a lot of input on the itineraries and restaurants. He should get a producing credit 🤧 : 'Keeper of JK's every want, need and desire in the form of food, accommodation and more 👀': Park Jimin
OH MY BABY Like Crazyyyy!!
They really are the top singers in Korea lmao. You sometimes forget it, with how normally weird they are.
The owners of the restaurant must have been thrilled to have them. #Blessed
The boyfriend shot!?!?!? YOUR HONOR! HE DID NOT deny nor refute the outright allegation!!
Jungkook enjoys life to the fullest.
Also, Jk loves beer.
ESCUSE ME?!?!?!?
THEY GET FLIRTY WHEN DRUNK. DRUNK SHENANIGANS HAVE HAPPENED. I AM SURE OF IT.
Jungkook is such a good boy. You tell him to do something, and he does it. #obedient
JK's stomach makes all his life's decisions.
This hot tub scene is going to end me as a functioning member of society. WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLL
THIS SURE IS NICE
THIGHS. NO NOTES.
COME ON BABY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? WHAAST
Jimin doesn’t want to extend JKs suffering. So sweet!!
"That’s my Jungkook." Omg
"HONEY"
WTF IS HAPPENING, SHOULD I LEAVE THE ROOM
Baby reference no. 4852820 and counting.
-The more relaxed they are, the more they forget they're being filmed. The touches increase, and the fawning commences. Also, Jimin watching himself and seeing how he's presenting himself for the show is such an interesting occurrence. There's an interesting thought happening there as he becomes aware of it... Is he seeing and becoming aware of his layer of veneer as they were filming? He scaled it back for sure. He let more of his acute feelings through as the seasons progressed. I love that it became less like work for him.
-They are idiots! And I love them for it! The Jeon Park household is filled with laughter. And grunting ofc. Don't forget the copious amounts of grunting. I'm watching this at work and by God if someone walks in on me listening to this...I'll get called into HR 😃 #worthit
ONGOD JIMIN ON THE FLOOR LEGS SPREAD WHO APPROVED THIS MESSAGE?!?!
Also: Jungkook loves cooking. Whomever is making fun of him for choosing to be in the kitchen is an idiot. Please always be happy JK!
Precedent. This show is setting it. Remember it well.
You realize that they have the means to travel like this all the time?!?! But they chose to take us with them? WE ARE BLESSED.
Jimin always finds a moment to connect, physically as well as emotionally. He'll never leave his man hanging on a joke.
BUT JUNGKOOK IS RIGHT THERE WITH HIM ON THE EQ SCALE..He sees Jimin fully, and he treats him gently and with tender care. Knowing Jimin is quiet because the trip is nearing its end😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
They deserve to live their lives without serving us. Without feeling like they need to show us, just because it makes us happy to see them happy. Then again, if this is them normalizing them as a unit and seeing them together, and if it serves them just as much as it does us. Well then I hope they keep up this exceptional excuse to make content. The hate will always be there. The shippers too.
But what will never change is the commitment they have towards each other. They really do complete one another *bawling*
I loved this episode! It was so relaxed and paired back. They really are a give and take couple, giving each other space, patience or attention. Really, they should get married. It's just too perfect a union.
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Okay, this is my first time doing this, but I need to say this, to the people who claim Sasuke's a bad clan leader, or that Fugaku and Mikoto would've accepted his relationship with Sakura had the clan survived, you're all idiots and I am not sorry for saying that.
I don't watch or read Boruto as I don't consider anything past chapter 695 as canon, but I'm still going to get this out of the way first. Sasuke never wanted to marry that bitch Sakura, he never wanted a kid with her or whatever. This man is the victim of a state-sanctioned genocide, torture, and humiliation at hands of his own brother whom he loved dearly and admired, and it was all done on orders of the state after decades of systemic segregation, oppression, prejudice, and discrimination. Sasuke was forced to relive the massacre over a million times in the Tsukuyomi and went through this twice once when he was 7 and again when he was 12 or 13, with the latter experience putting him in a coma following Itachi breaking his wrist and ribs, and this nearly killed him had Tsunade not helped him (literally the ONLY good thing she did in the series). If anyone here in the real world experienced this, they'd either be dead or in some kind of mental hospital. The point is that they would be mentally destroyed, and they'd barely be able to function in society. Regular depression already fucks people up as is, and Sasuke went something no one should ever have to go through and it's a miracle he's still able to function as is.
Sasuke also repeatedly to Sakura to fuck off and leave him alone. That bitch repeatedly pestered and harassed him for years, emotionally wearing him down until he agreed to hump and dump her ass once. This bitch emotionally abused this poor guy, so it's no surprise he not only didn't want shit to do with her or her sithspawn of a daughter. This guy wasn't emotionally or mentally stable after what Itachi did to him at 7, and he hasn't been since. Hell, it's said in one of the databooks that Sasuke originally wanted a normal life with family and friends, but Itachi ruined it with his torture sessions. Those of you shitting on Sasuke for not being a good clan leader for not communicating with Sakura or Sarada or something, don't use your heads, those two dumbasses aren't even Uchiha.
Now, onto the other part of my argument, neither Fugaku nor Mikoto would've accepted Sakura being in a potential partner for Sasuke had the Uchiha survived, however, before I start this portion let me admit that this will be hard for me to properly articulate and so I apologize in advance so with that said let's get into this.
Putting aside how shitty and lackluster of an individual Sakura herself is, she also offers or brings nothing to the table.
As other people have so beautifully said before, the Uchiha are one of the oldest and strongest clans in the series. Their lineage goes back thousands of years, dating back to the time of Hagoromo, who himself was considered a myth by the public in the present. Because of this, there's a great deal of prestige, honor, pride, and recognition that comes with their bloodlines' age. Not only that, but the Uchiha are more distinct and well-known than any other clan in the series. The Uchiha are the ONLY clan to possess distinctly potent and voluminous chakra, and because of this, they're only ones who possess and wield one of the most powerful and coveted kekkei genkai in the series the sharingan. This stems from them being the ONLY clan to have inherited the potent chakra and dojutsu of the Shinju.
The Uchiha have their own clan specific culture, mores, values, beliefs, and traditions strictly unique to themselves, for example, the clans' crest can only be worn by the members of the clan who've demonstrated mastery over their signature fireball katon jutsu and as Fugaku says to Sasuke it represents the will of those with fans who manipulate fire, use or mastery over this jutsu also makes that Uchiha a fully fledged member of the clan.
The Uchiha were known and feared throughout the world for their strength, prowess, and renown as a battle clan, so much so that other villages had rules when facing off against them. Every time someone saw or confronted Sasuke, they always brought up his lineage with reverence and fear. Two Kumo shinobi saw him and Taka carrying Bee away, and while they considered rescuing Bee, they immediately changed their minds upon seeing the Uchiha crest on Sasuke's back and instead reported to Ae about what happened. A whole crowd of wealthy patrons showed up at the Chunin Exams to see the last Uchiha battle it out, and that's why Sasuke wasn't disqualified for showing up late to his battle with Gaara during the Exams. During the Warring States Period, the Uchiha were virtually unstoppable with only the Senju due to their jutsu variety and their chieftain the freak Hashirama Senju rivaling them.
Taking all of this into account, there's no reason for a distinguished clan/bloodline like the Uchiha to take an outsider like Sakura into their midst and spoil the bloodline. Bloodline purity is a thing in the real world and persists to this very day. It's actually considered to be a huge transgression for members of distinguished clans, families, and lines to bring outsiders in and spoil their bloodlines by marrying them to the point that they're cast out and probably disowned to the highest caliber for doing it.
I wanna briefly talk about Sakura herself and explain why neither Fugaku, Mikoto, or the rest of the clan wouldn't have accepted her into their midst.
As a shinobi, Sakura is a complete nobody. She has no feats, strengths, capabilities, skills, or whatever that her remotely capable.
Her chakra reserves ridiculously tiny, she can't even handle a trickle of biju chakra. Her skillset is a complete copy pasta of Tsunade's, her skills as a medical nin are surpassed by those of Tsunade, Hashirama, Kabuto and even Sasuke during the time he had Orochimaru's white snake abilities in his system and even after he lost that, as Sasuke's self-taught himself to funnel raiton through his body to avoid mortal injury which he's done during his battles against Deidara, Bee, and Danzo. Sakura hasn't improved on, reinvented, or created her own jutsus. Her super strength is just an extension of her byakugo. She's got no talent for genjutsu or handling vast amounts of chakra. Her speed and agility feats are nonexistent, and her intelligence feats are lackluster too.
Sakura also doesn't come from a distinguished clan or bloodline. Neither she nor her parents are civilians. Let me take this time to clarify that the hidden villages house NO civilians within their midst, the hidden villages are MILITARY powers, everyone within them are soldiers, it would be antithetical for these villages to house civilian populations within them as the civilians contribute nothing to the overall prosperity and function of the village as again these are military powers within the countries. Sakura and her parents are from a smaller or minor clan within the series.
Sakura also doesn't train or take her training seriously. Sasuke points this out to her in canon during the earliest chapters of the Chunin Exams arc, and Sakura still did jackshit about it, only finally taking her training seriously after Sasuke left Konoha for good and defected to Orochimaru. And since the Uchiha again are a battle clan and the most elite clan in canon, someone like Sakura ain't being allowed within a hundred feet of them.
As an individual, Sakura, as I said above, is very lackluster and shitty. This girl has petty self-esteem issues. She knows she's lacking in various departments and tries to compensate for this by latching onto others like a leech and using them for her self-worth, Ino was originally this before Sasuke unwittingly came along. She's very shallow and vain, too.
She knows absolutely nothing about Sasuke from minor things like whether or not he wore glasses, to serious things like him being an orphan, which is ridiculous since everyone else at the academy knew these details before they were made genins. She doesn't question or try to understand Sasuke or his motivations.
She's an asshole to pretty much anyone and everyone around her whenever Sasuke's not around in canon, including other women.
She broke off her years' worth of friendship with Ino over a boy who didn't know she existed and wanted nothing to do with her. She's also made numerous attempts to downgrade and put Ino down, despite the fact that Ino was the first person to treat her with kindness, helped her with her bullies, and was the first person to validate her. Ino was also the one to try and mend and patch up their relationship. Hell, Sakura wanted Sai to call Ino ugly and was pissed when he didn't.
During the War Arc, she disrespected Tsunade, her own mentor who turned her from a nobody to a decently capable medical shinobi.
She taped a picture of her in her thirties over a picture of Karin with Sasuke and spreads rumors to Sarada about other women, like Ino trying to take Sasuke away from her.
She frequently insults and assaults Naruto, and it isn't comedy relief as she does this even after he saves her or treats her nicely. She assaulted Sai for calling her ugly despite the poor guy being a slave and Sakura name calling Naruto on a regular basis. She also attacked Konohamaru before calling her an ugly bitch (which was based on his part lol). She was also pissy about his and Naruto's sexy jutsus only to act like a fan girl when he showed her hot naked dudes, like Sasuke. So she's a hypocrite.
And she doesn't care about her own parents, and actually disrespected them, Naruto's parents, and Sasuke's as well. She tried in canon to invalidate the importance and love Sasuke had for his parents and clan, and that's tremendously disrespectful. Hell, in Boruto, she repeatedly chased after Sasuke despite being pregnant with Sarada putting her at risk, discarded the umbilical cord, which is a serious taboo, wrecked her house when Sarada asked her a simple question or two about her father, Karin frequently sends Sarada gifts instead of Sakura.
The Uchiha as a whole care deeply about one another and all within their clan, and someone like Sakura, who's again vain, shallow, petty, selfish, disrespectful, and ignorant would NEVER be considered fit to join them.
Let's play a little game of What if? Because this is something I've thought about for a while.
Following Sasuke's successful usage and mastery of the Uchiha fireball katon in front of Fugaku who himself chooses to make Sasuke his heir, Hiruzen decided to not only personally meet with and apologize to Fugaku and the Uchiha for the false accusations and punishment over the 9-Tails attack, but he also grants the clan the rights and positions of power that they deserved from the beginning, even stepping down as hokage and letting Fugaku become hokage then and there, but Fugaku maintains his decision on Sasuke being the next clan head. If this scenario took place, there's no way in Hell Sakura's going to be anywhere near Sasuke. He would've been even more untouchable for her than he already was in canon. Sasuke was already very clan oriented and duty bound in canon. He was fervently loyal and devoted to his clan and cared deeply about what they and his family thought of him, outsiders be damned. Fugaku isn't allowing any of his children, especially his heir, to marry an outsider like Sakura. The Uchiha clan in its entirety wouldn't have accepted this either. There's no way they would've accepted their future chieftain marrying a non-Uchiha, and if they did accept it, they would've accepted someone of equal standing or prestige as them. Fugaku and Mikoto would've arranged a marriage for Sasuke, and he wouldn't have objected to that. After all, Sasuke was pulling out all the stops in canon to make his father happy, and he was already extremely close with Mikoto and was well liked and respected by the rest of the clan so marrying someone his parents picked out for him is something Sasuke's definitely doing.
Let's also not forget that Sasuke's extraordinary on all fronts, in terms of beauty, skill, strength, talent, and prodigiousness, all of this, and his chakra volume and potency are through the fucking roof even the standards of his own clan. Sasuke's Sharingan is the most powerful and potent within the series since or after Indra’s which is insane as only Indra inherited his fathers chakra.
Orochimaru and Obito both knew and explicitly stated that Sasuke's Sharingan and chakra were more powerful than Itachi's. In canon, Sasuke was supposed to be THE vessel for Orochimaru, the last one he'd EVER need. Obito's entire Infinite Tsukuyomi plan hinged on utilizing Sasuke at EMS and connecting him to the Gedo Statue, something Nagato, Konan, Zetsu, and no doubt Kisame knew all to well. Kabuto knew this, too, and he himself had his own plans for Sasuke. He blackmailed and helped Obito fight a war for Sasuke, and that war was fought to see who between them could get to Sasuke first. Everyone wanted Sasuke for one reason or another, either for his looks (Sasuke's the most good-looking character in the series), his talents and skills, and abilities everything. Madara, Tobirama, Orochimaru, Obito, Zetsu, Gai, Jiraiya, Cee, Darui, Bee, Mei, Hagoromo, Kurama, Karin, Jugo, Suigetsu, Kabuto, Kakashi, Hiruzen, Neji, Tenten, Deidara, Nagato, Konan, Kisame, and Fugaku (when Sasuke performed their clans rite of passage jutsu at the age of 6 only a week after being shown it once) all of them to varying degrees were aware and dumbstruck by Sasuke's gifts and many of them wanted him.
Sasuke's skills with the sharingan, chakra, and Ninjutsu are beyond profound. He's genetically capable of awakening the EMS and the most unique rinnegan in Shinobi history.
In this alternate timeline, Sasuke's going to be trained to hell and back by not only Fugaku and everyone who he deems fit to train him. As he grows and matures Sasuke's parents and clan, ARE going to take notice of all of these aspects and gifts of his, and they're going to be especially picky about who his bride would be, as the next head of the Uchiha clan especially one like Sasuke with his looks, skills, talents, wealth, and prestige can't and won't marry just anyone especially without the consent of his parents and clan.
In this scenario, Sasuke's future wife would either be another Uchiha (the most logical conclusion) or someone else from another distinguished clan or bloodline. I see people mentioning Ino and Karin on this topic since their love for Sasuke while still being in part because of his beauty is still way more genuine than Sakura's. Karin was saved a few times by Sasuke, and he ultimately was the one who allowed to take control over her own future. She knew and understood Sasuke the most, and her relationship with Sasuke is the most erotic in canon.
Ino's love for Sasuke was described as tender by her father, and it was never about herself but how he brought her joy.
Frankly I don't object to either of them being with Sasuke, although I would like someone to help me understand how Ino from a bloodline perspective would be a good match for Sasuke as Karin is an Uzumaki and her clan has been around as long as the Uchiha so I can see why Fugaku and Mikoto would've accepted her as a future daughter-in-law, but Ino I feel like I'm missing something else or I'm just over thinking it in regards to her. Ino and Karin are also better individuals than Sakura and capable shinobi, their skills, abilities, and lives having nothing to do with Sasuke and instead being completely independent of him. Neither of them were pushy and respected Sasuke's boundaries to a better degree than Sakura.
This was a long-winded post, I know, but essentially, Sakura ain't ever hooking up with Sasuke at all, Fugaku and Mikoto ain't letting her anywhere near him.
Before I close this off, I want to ask anyone who reads this. Who else do you think Fugaku and Mikoto would've accepted as Sasuke's bride in the little what if I put above? Let me say I'm not a shipper, and like others, I find the Naruto fandom's obsession with shipping to be incredibly stupid and annoying. I am staunchly in the Pro Uchiha, Sasuke, Madara, Indra, Fugaku, and Mikoto camp, the Uchiha its members and lore, as well as the real world myths and lore used by Kishimoto to create them all capture me. But admittedly, I do agree with some people who agree that Karin and Ino would've been better partners, and that really had me thinking about who else Fugaku and the rest of the clan would've saw as fit to marry Sasuke and join the clan, so yeah I'm curious to know your thoughts and opinions on this topic as well, however, I do not agree with the Sasuke x Hinata ship, I want to shoot that down quickly, that shit ain't happening.
But again, this is a very long first post of mine on Tumblr, so yeah, thanks for reading.
#pro sasuke uchiha#pro fugaku uchiha#pro fugaku#pro uchiha#pro uchiha clan#anti sakura#anti sakura haruno#anti sakura fandom#sasukarin#inosasu#sasuino#karinsasu
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❝ A kiss is the beginning of cannibalism. ❞
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Ꮺ Anon Requested ⨾ hii can u do a ticci toby x cannibalistic gn reader?
Ꮺ Eun Replies ⨾ Greetings! I apologize for the late response as i got more focused on working on my ocs — This is quite short compared to my other works but I do hope you'll like this one! I've searched on how cannibalism works just to make sure.
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Ꮺ Disclaimer — GORE!SUGGESTIVE! I do not condone this kind of behavior in real life situations.
Reader ⨾ CANNIBALISTIC!GN!READER. YOU/YOURS
Words used ⨾ 624 words 3,502 characters
Character ⨾ TOBIAS ERIN ROGERS (Ticci Toby)
Art credit ⨾ @/kousomii on tumblr
Links ⨾ My Navigation
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Toby felt a strange mix of fascination and horror when he first encountered you. You were out, eating the corpse he just sliced up. He couldn't help but wonder how you got into your current situation, what led you to become a cannibal, and how you were able to maintain the facade of being a normal, functioning member of society.
Toby sometimes feels tempted to try what you are eating, but he always stops himself from actually doing so. If you manage to have some influence on him or try to convince him, he'll do so.
So whenever he goes out to do his missions, if you were allowed to he would let you follow him to clean up his mess. If you weren't, he would come back with a bag full of the parts you prefer.
If you happen to have a biting habit, whether biting yourself or someone else. He's be fascinated by it as he also have a biting habit, he doesn't mind you biting him as he doesn't feel that much pain as long as you let him bite also. He just watch you bite him and look at the bite marks, just don't bite him when he's in a sour mood.
If you cook them, Toby is intrigued and impressed by your skills as a cook, especially if you have a talent for preparing human flesh in a way that's palatable and delicious. He enjoys the idea of sharing a meal with you that is both unique and delicious.
He may or may not say some jokes about you being a cannibal. Toby's sexual jokes about you are him comparing your appetite for human flesh to his imagined prowess in bed. He'll make crude remarks, such as "You're tearing through those organs like you'd rip through a woman's panties."
Toby's indifference towards your post-feast appearance is a direct reflection of his own descent into depravity. Once disgusted by the mere thought of cannibalism, leaving him numb to the grotesque reality surrounding him but who knows? He's also a killer.
He knows that he himself isn't much better, for he too has stained his hands with blood and consumed human flesh. His ambivalence towards your plight is a twisted acceptance of their shared fate, a grim acknowledgment that they have both become monsters in their own right.
For Toby, he just eats the people he chops for survival and if you happen to have a different reasoning Toby listens to your dissection of cannibalism with a mix of repulsion, curiosity, and a twisted sense of familiarity. The gruesome details of how your body processes the consumed flesh, the nutritional benefits, and the sensory experiences, all serve as a morbid testament to the transformation you have undergone.
As you delves into the biological aspects of cannibalism, Toby's mind can't help but conjure vivid images of digestion, the human body breaking down its victims in the most base and primal of ways.
With the knowledge of cannibalism fresh in his mind, Toby's approach to his missions takes on a new, more methodical quality. Instead of the wild, frenzied attacks that once characterized his hunts, Toby now dispatches his victims with a chilling efficiency.
With each slash of his blade, Toby is careful to target specific organs, his actions driven by the newfound knowledge of their nutritional value. He takes the time to slice off limbs, and as he does, he can't help but recall yout descriptions of the sensory experiences. A strange, twisted thrill courses through him as he works.
Once he's collected his bounty, Toby methodically collects the parts into one bag, taking care not to mix the organs with the flesh. You'll be eating with no problem in your mind.
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Ꮺ ⨾ I DO NOT CONSENT TO MY WORK BEING COPIED OR TRANSLATED.
#Eun.writes#Eun.asks#ticci toby headcanons#tobias erin rogers#ticci toby x reader#ticci toby creepypasta#creepypasta toby#ticci toby#ticci toby x male reader#ticci toby x you#female reader#male reader#gn reader#creepypasta
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Hi! What do you think would happen if there was a disease that turned people into yanderes and the reader is immune? So she’s the only sane one, which everyone around her falls in love (romantically and platonically) and turns obsessive?
Hrmm I'd like to take a different approach to this than the original *yandere apocolypse* of which I was thinking. Just wrote down some odd thoughts for this one!
Perhaps two thirds of the world has been inflicted with this specific disease-- making this new population become violent, deranged and utterly--obsessively, in love.
There's the beginning stages of violence and death of course, causing a great chunk of the world to go mad as some yanderes who must share a darling cannot do so. Celebrities, idols, and your local barista who's friends with everyone in town, are constantly in a tug of war battle between their yanderes.
But life seems to somewhat settle down. Everyone still functions as they would in society-- going to the bank and paying their taxes, remaining at their 9 to 5 jobs. But there are far more murders, laws are no longer followed; the daytime has become just as dangerous as the night.
Our dear reader, a cashier for a chain grocery store, has so blessedly not been affected by this newfound disease. They know their residence in a large city and with a social job would not leave them unharmed by this new change to the world. So, they begin to attend support groups for 'darlings,' the victims and (mostly) sane population that has been left. At first the other victims were people they had never seen before, seemingly innocent and normal people who just wanted to go on with their lives. They all seemed to lead a much harder living, with their unending stalkers and vicious pursuers that made them sob for hours as everyone else listened to their woes.
Reader had yet to be targeted, of which offers them a sliver of relief-- until they fear perhaps they have been affected by the disease. But their life continues, without any impulse or desire to snatch anyone up, and without any stalkers or murderers on their trail. Life is almost, weirdly, normal.
They don't watch the news anymore, they go home before it gets dark, and refuse to take any extra shifts with anyone who's been affected by the outbreak. They continue to go to the meetings, out of solidarity and precaution in case they begin to hear footsteps behind them when walking from home or find eyes peeping behind their curtains. However, the support group seemed to have slowly begun to change. Its regular members were beginning to dwindle, less and less showing up regularly. And, there seemed to be an addition of.... hostility, amongst the newer members.
The support group "leader", a man who has thrown reader off since day one, seemed to be far more invested in hearing their experiences with these "attackers" as he called them. As was everyone else, of which were slowly becoming vaguely familiar faces. Not familiar enough to mention it, but to the point where it was beginning to get eerie.
It wasn't until they went to their next shift for work, did they realize why everyone seemed so odd. Customer after customer came up, all purchasing odds and ends that could be suspicious if one paid close enough attention. But all that reader could focus on, was how the eyes of each person seemed to linger upon them, taking notice of their loose work shirt and unkempt hair. It was a common sound to hear heavy breathing from the other side of the counter, odd compliments on how beautiful their eyes were, or deafening silence from customers that didn't utter a word but stared in complete captivity. The next support group meeting, those nameless faces seemed to be far more recognizable. At this point, the original members of which reader had originally met, were nowehere to be found. All that remained, were the uncomfortably familiar customers, and the oddly charismatic leader.
Every eye seemed to be on them, each waiting for them to speak on their experience. But despite the creepy, lustful gazes and hateful glares at one another, there was some form of supportiveness that came from the group. They gave reassuring pats and squeezes, some getting a little handsier than others.
There were a few that reader recognized more than others: the silent, dark haired man that came to their register everyday, the businesswoman who always seemed to loosen her scowl once she saw them, and the couple who seemed a tad more than "friendly." Out of all of them though, reader felt the most reassurance from the group leader-- the man who seemed to dote on them like a parent would, though there was still fear over his constantly nagging questions and downward stare behind his glasses.
It was once reader decided to stop showing up to the increasingly more recent group sessions, did things start to turn sideways. There would constantly be a knock at the door, asking why they weren't there, if something was wrong, if a stalker had gotten to them. But it wasnt until recently did they feel they were being watched, followed, stalked.
Things started to go missing, from their favorite pair of underwear to little knickknacks kept on their desk. Reader had never felt the effects of the disease and its victims, but ever since the uncomfortable shift in the support group, life hadn't been the same.
One fateful afternoon, there came another series of knocks. Reader couldn't take it anymore, and had long given up on answering the door. The knocking continued, however. Thered be a pause, a moment of hesitation, before the pounding began again. Muffled voices could be heard outside readers front door, and suddenly there grew a great fear in their chest.
Not long after, the knocking seemed to occur in other areas around the house. The backdoor echoed as glass was banged on, the windows of their bedroom seemingly pressured by fists that begged to be let in. Their name was called from outside, small and booming voices all begging to be let in, promising that they were only there to help.
Reader covered their ears, crawling under the blankets and rocking themselves to the hope that the noise would go away. And eventually, It did-- only to be replaced with the sound of shattering glass and rushed footsteps.
#kn1ves rants#knives rants#writing#x reader#reader insert#yandere#self insert#yandere x reader#male yandere#female yandere#yandere imagines#yandere aesthetic#yandere scenarios#yandere oc x reader#yandere writing#yandere x y/n#yanderecore#yandere x you#drabbles#yandere drabbles
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These Violent Delights
Pairings: Jacob Black x Reader, Edward Culled x Reader
Summary: Y/N Swan is just like every other girl and she likes it that way. Normal is fantastic. Normal creates a functioning member of society. Normal is the reason she moved to a small town to live with her police officer father... only to find out that she gets the farthest thing from what she wanted. // Twilight Re-Write.
Warnings for the series: light violence, light angst, light smut
Word Count: 3.4k
| Part 1 | Part 2 |
✿ ✭ ☾ ✿ ✭ ☾ ✿ ✭ ☾ ✿ ✭ ☾ ✿ ✭ ☾ ✿ ✭ ☾ ✿ ✭ ☾ ✿ ✭ ☾ ✿ ✭ ☾ ✿ ✭ ☾ ✿ ✭ ☾ ✿ ✭ ☾ ✿
The entirety of the lunch period, you couldn’t find the stomach to eat much. Your bowl of tomato soup only had a few spoonfuls taken out of it. But all the saltine crackers were gone. You had gone over and over in your head what you would say to Edward. Now that he was here, you couldn’t remember anything. You had never been in a real confrontation anymore. You took a glance at his table again.
He looked different than before. Not terribly different, but enough that you noticed. His skin looked less pale and less stretched over his skeleton. The dark circles underneath his eyes aren’t there anymore either. Now, you could see why people said he looked perfect.
The bell rang and you silently cursed. You couldn’t have been given more time? Reluctantly, you went with Eric and Mike to your biology class. Eric and you looked over when Mike started frantically digging in his backpack.
“Ah, shit. Hey, tell Mr. Donoghue that I left my textbook in my car and I’m going to get it.”
“Okay.”
Mike ran as fast as possible while the two of you continued going to class. Eric sighed before turning to face you as you stood right in front of the doorway to bio class.
“Hey, so, about prom, I’m the one in charge of communicating with the dj. I’ve lived my whole life here so I know my music choice sucks so I’m gonna need your playlist.”
“Okay, when?” you asked as you pulled out yout phone to jot down that note.
“As long as it’s before the month ends, that’s cool. And then dates… I was wondering do you think Ang—”
“How you liking the rain, Arizona?” Mike shook out his baseball cap that got soaked in the rain from the run to his car.
“Guys! Class is about to start. Please take your seats,” Mr. Donoghue cut off whatever Eric was trying to say. If it was important, he’d get back to you later.
Unfortunately, his lab partner and your lab partner were back so you had to sit with Edward Cullen. There was a slight smile on his face as you walked towards your lab bench. Before you got a chance to say the prepared speech, he spoke.
“Hello. I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself the other day. I’m Edward Cullen.” His voice was smooth like coffee and somewhat low in its sound. “You’re Y/F/N Swan, right?”
“Y/N.”
You didn’t give him a chance to say anything else, turning your head to listen to Mr. Donoghue’s lesson. He must have been in cahoots with the universe because his assignment was partner work. The prize? A golden onion that has no value until he comes up with what it stands for. At least only one person could look through the microscope at a time. Edward pushed the device towards you.
“Ladies, first.”
“Why were you gone?” You looked in the microscope. “And it better be a good answer too… It’s prophase.”
“Mind if I check?...Yeah, I was out of town for a couple days. It’s prophase.”
“Like I said and the empty chair next to me told me that much.”
“Personal reasons.”
“Do personal reasons involve rude interactions?”
“Uh, no. I’m sorry about that. It wasn’t the best day for me before you showed up to class.”
“Apology accepted, I guess.”
“So are you enjoying the rain?... What?”
You tried to stop laughing. “You’re asking me about the weather?”
“Yeah, I guess I am.”
“Well, no, not really. I’m not really a fan of any cold or wet place.”
Edward chuckled as he checked another slide.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He shook his head. “It’s anaphase.”
“Mind if I check… Anaphase.”
“Like I said,” he joked. “If you don’t like the rain then why did you move to the wettest place in the continental United States?”
“Baseball.”
“Baseball? It’s also anaphase. Do you want to check it?”
“No, I believe you.”
Edward listened intently as you retold your story to yet another person about why you were in Forks, asking questions when necessary. You guys continued to do your work and talk. He carried the golden onion prize as he escorted you to your locker.
“Why didn’t you move with your mother and Phil?”
“Moving once means moving again. Phil could get a second contract next year and we’d be in California or Maine or some stupid place like Delaware.”
“But now you’re unhappy staying here?”
“It’s complicated.”
Edward paused. “I’m sorry, I’m asking too much. I’m just trying to figure you out. You’re very difficult for me to read.”
“Well, asking questions like a normal human bei— hey, did you get contacts?”
“No.”
“I swear your eyes were black last time I saw you, now it’s like a golden brown color.”
“Uh, no. It’s the fluorescents.”
He walked away before you could say anything else. You didn’t see Edward until school ended and you went to your truck. He and his siblings seemed to be looking directly at you but you thought you were just being paranoid. You turned back around to dig through your bag for your keys. The screeching of tires caught your attention but it was too late. Tyler’s van was barrelling towards you and your feet couldn’t seem to move.
Now was not the time to find out that your flight or fight response was the dreaded third option of freeze. You could see Edward, four cars away, staring at you in horror. His mouth dropped open. The same as all the other faces that were about to witness your death. Almost everything moved in slow motion.
The hunk of blue metal slid towards you, you felt something grab your waist, you were pulled down to the ground, and a pale hand was on the van that wasn’t hitting you. You stared at the dent in the metal caused by the hand before turning your head to make eye contact with Edward.
He stared at you for a moment before letting go of you and running away. You were suddenly surrounded by people asking if you were alright. None of them seemed to have noticed Edward wasn’t there. The next thing you knew, you blacked out.
The lights of the hospital were blinding when you finally came to your senses. The door opened with a vengeance and in strolled your very anxious father. He wouldn’t calm down no matter how much you tried to speak with him, threatening Tyler’s license and everything. It’s not like it was his fault his tires skidded on ice. You mouthed an apology before shutting the small curtain that divided the two hospital beds.
“Dad, Dad I’m fine. Okay? I was lucky that Edward was there, no injuries.”
“Edward?” Charlie turns to Dr. Cullen. “Your boy?”
You cut in before the doctor could even get the chance to say anything. It seemed like he was going to lie.
“Yeah, he got to me so quickly.”
Dr. Cullen gave you a tight smile. “It sounds like you were very lucky. You just need to sign some paperwork, Charlie, and then you are good to go.”
After Charlie signed the paperwork, he went to warm up the car before we had to drive to the school to get my car and then drive home. You turned the corner to one of the vending machines when you stopped after seeing Carlisle, Edward, and Rosalie talking with each other. It didn’t seem like a friendly conversation either. They were definitely arguing. As if they could hear you just breather, the three of them turned towards you.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” you asked.
Edward looked reluctantly as he made his way towards you. “What?”
“How did you get over to me so quickly?”
“Y/N, what are you talking about? I was standing right next to you.”
“No, you weren’t. Don’t try to lie through this either. You were across the parking lot. I know what I saw.”
“And what was that?”
“You stopped the van with your hand.”
Edward’s somewhat amused face turned cold. “Well no one is going to believe you anyway. Can’t you just thank me and we just drop it?”
“Thank you.”
“You aren’t going to let this go, are you?”
“Not at all,” I tell him, determined.
“Well, I hope you enjoy disappointment.”
You went home that night with more questions than answers and the oddly sneaking suspicion that someone was watching you. You went to the bathroom and took your shower while thinking about how Edward stopped the van. So far, you had no concrete answers. You went to bed without any answers as well. Although you did wake up in the middle of night after having a strange dream about Edward.
You tried to not think about that as you went to school the next day. The buses were already up front when you parked, ready for the field trip that you were positive wasn’t going to be very fun. Edward and his siblings, Alice and Jasper, walked past you. Mike popped up in front of you.
“Hey, you’re alive, Arizona!”
“You need more than a van to take me down.”
The two of you laugh as you hi-fived.
“So I was wondering, are you going to prom?”
“Um, I don’t know yet. Charlie said I get two free no questions asked days if I go but me and dancing… it’s not pretty.”
“Well, do you know if Jess is going?”
“Mike!” you gasped. “Are you trying to ask Jessica out?”
“Lower your voice, please. Okay, I may have had a small crush on her since we were seven and I am choosing to ask out my very good friend to prom.”
“She’s going. I’m going dress shopping with her and Ang next weekend.”
“Okay. Okay, cool.” Mike walked off before coming right back. “Do you think she likes me?”
“Most definitely.”
“Sweet. Thanks, Y/N/N. You’re the best.”
He got on one of the buses while you got on the other. Tyler sat next to you, plugging your headphones into the jack on his phone. You nodded along to Blue October’s “Hate Me” as it played. The two of you didn’t talk at all but stared out the window like you were in a music video and listened to music until you reached your destination.
The greenhouse was… interesting. That was the nicest way you could put it. Maybe it would have been nicer if you all weren’t cramped in the small walkway between the plants. Mr. Molina and Mr. Donoghue were trying their hardest to get people to water the plants or give them soil.
“Now, I’m gonna make a steaming cup of compost tea.”
He handed it to Eric. You laughed as you heard a very panicked yell.
“No! Don’t drink it! It’s for the plants.”
“What’s a no questions asked day?” a deep voice behind you asked.
You nearly jumped out of your skin. Turning around, you saw the classic peacoat and never out of place hair of Edward Cullen. When had he even come up behind you?
“You know you’re not helping your case. How’d you even hear that?”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“Dude, you never answer any of mine. You don’t even say hi.”
“Hi.”
“Please try to act less like a human. Are you gonna tell me anything? Preferably about the other day.”
“Yeah. I had an adrenaline rush,” he said clinically. “It’s very common. You can Google it.”
You paused and looked at him. “You’re a terrible liar. And a no question day is when I tell Charlie I need to do something or go somewhere and he asks no questions. It’s a mutual trust betwe—”
You tripped but felt air and two cold hands grab you instead of feeling your face kiss pavement.
“Careful,” Edward said as he set you upright again.
“Thanks. So are you going to answer any of my other questions?”
“Um. Ma—”
“Y/N/N!” Jess stepped in between you two. “Guess who just asked me to prom?”
Edward took the opportunity to slip away.
“Who?” you feigned ignorance.
“Mike! I’ve been hoping since forever but like he actually asked me.”
You and Jess talked the entire way out of the greenhouse and onto the buses, forgetting about Edward and wanting to ask him more questions until it was too late. You weren’t going to think about him for the rest of the day. You had a father-daughter/mother-son date with Charlie, Jacob’s mom, and Jacob. Which meant going to a restaurant because both Charlie and Sarah worked long hours and weren’t going to cook. And Billy was doing his physical therapy for walking so there was no way anyone would force him to cook.
You went to pick up Jacob at his school while his mom picked up Charlie from the station. He was still inside when you reached the school. It felt stupid signing the visitors clipboard when the school day was already over but you did it anyway just in case. When you made it to a hangout area for students you spotted Jake with his friends.
You’d like to say they were your friends too but you never got very close with them over the summer. Embry usually went somewhere with his mom, Quil’s grandfather kept inside most of the time, and Seth had sports.
And their acquaintances you knew even less. Paul and Jared were always one grade level above you all and hung out with themselves. Sam didn’t seem to like any of you despite being only a couple years older than you and having even a smaller age gap with Paul. And Leah didn’t come around because either her loser younger brother was there or Sam was there which sucked because you wanted another girl around.
“Hey, Y/N,” Embry said as you turned the corner.
“Hi, guys. Jake, you ready?”
“Yeah. See you guys later.”
He nodded at his friends before getting up to stand next to you. Your fingers twitched as he intertwined them with his own. He rolled his eyes at the wolf whistles from his friends, laughing when you threw up a middle finger while the two of you walked away.
“So where are we going?” you asked.
“Who picked last summer?”
“Charlie.”
“Oh, nice, so it’s my turn.” Jacob looked something up on his phone. “Smuggler’s Bar and Grill, sound good? It’s in Port Angeles though.”
You shrugged. “Eh, I’ve already finished all my homework and Charlie doesn’t go back to work until the graveyard shift. Go ahead and text them our choice.”
Your truck pulled out of the school parking lot and headed towards the highway. Jacob fiddled with the radio for at least one decent station while you drove the hour it took just to get to Port Angeles. Honestly, you didn’t mind the time. The drive, surrounded by trees, was comforting. Especially with your best friend.
If you and Jake weren’t singing to songs, you were gossiping about school. There was no need to catch up on anything else. Jake was one of the few people you texted nearly everyday despite being so far away most of the year — including the fact that he had a secret girlfriend for three years. Whenever he wanted to get her a present, he would text you what it was and would pretend he was sending it to you so Billy and Sarah wouldn’t get suspicious. It worked. They didn’t find out even after the two broke up.
You guys pulled into the restaurant and waited for your parents to show up. Like you predicted, Sarah already analyzed the entire menu and knew what she wanted to order. Jake held up his phone.
“They said they’re twenty minutes away and the food takes that long to prepare so order for them.”
“I’m surprised she got Charlie to pick something ahead of time.”
The two of you went in and got a table like they said. The host smiled a bit too sweetly as they called over a waiter. You and Jacob looked at each other and came to the same conclusion at the same time, silently gagging. There was no way they thought that you guys were on a date. Absolutely not. Was it because you were holding hands? The two of you pulled apart but the damage was already done.
The waiter sat you down at what you could tell was the restaurant’s nicest booth by the best window that would let you look out onto the water. He handed you the menus and left to give you alone time to think.
“Just gross, no offense,” you said.
Jacob shrugged. “None taken. I would never date you, you’re, like, my friend.”
“Same. Too weird… Do you think they’ll give us free dessert if we are though?”
“Do you want to play it up?”
“Absolutely.”
Jacob gave you a smile you had never seen before but assumed he must have given to his girlfriend. He laid his hand across the table for you to grab. You took it with no problem — Jake’s hands were always warm and still a bit soft since he wore gloves when he worked on cars and bikes. His thumb stroked the back of your hand and he set the menu down to look at you. Almost like magic, or like they’ve been secretly watching, the wait staff came over.
“Are you two ready to order?” he asked as he set down two glasses of water.
“Ladies first,” Jake let go of your hand, ready to scoop up your menu when you finished speaking.
“Um, does the shrimp scampi have a smell?” you asked in fake concern, hoping the waiter would catch on to teen angst of potential bad breath before a first kiss.
“Oh, no, I got you, honey.” He had a noticeable southern accent. “What do you want to drink?”
“Iced Tea, please. Oh, and a Caesar salad with ranch dressing.”
“Got it. And for the young sir?”
“I’ll take the Not Your Mother’s Mac and Cheese along with a lemonade. Oh, and our parents are chaperoning but they’re a little late. Can we get them one clam chowder and one Hawaiian chicken sandwich both with Ruby tonics? What is a ruby tonic?”
“Oh, I’m so glad you kids are too young to know what it is. Your food will be ready in a minute.”
He took the menus and walked away. You could hear him gossip to the rest of the staff about chaperones. Jacob grabbed your hand again, giving it a peck.
“You know he’s totally gonna bring you breath mints. Did you really ask if the shrimp would smell?”
“Hey, I had to sell it. What brand do you think it’ll be?”
Jake kissed your hand again. “Lifesavers. They scream not obvious for teenagers asking.”
“You say this from experience?”
“Ehh with Elle a couple of times.”
“Really? I can’t believe you had your first kiss and girlfriend and I couldn’t even get a date for homecoming. You’re still a virgin right?”
“Yes. I am still a loser virgin.”
“Hey, I’m a virgin.”
“Well then in that case virginity rocks.”
You and Jacob cheered and clinked glasses before laughing when you were unable to hold it anymore. He moved over to your side since the two of you would have to be sitting together anyway once Charlie and Sarah showed up. He took the opportunity to sling his arm around you while you snuggled up to him. The two of you could clearly hear awes.
“If we actually get free dessert,” Jacob whispered. “We need to do this more often.”
Your parents came in exactly when the food came out. They looked at the two of you weirdly as you awkwardly broke apart. You shook your head before Charlie could say anything. They went with it like you had asked. Your parents could do absolutely nothing but shake their heads and smile as the waiter brought out free cinnamon rolls in to-go boxes for not just you and Jacob but for the “chaperones” as well.
You guys left a generous tip, cleaned up the table, and left the restaurant. You and Jacob clinked the to-go boxes together.
“Here’s to fake boyfriends.”
“Here’s to fake girlfriends.”
✿ ✭ ☾ ✿ ✭ ☾ ✿ ✭ ☾ ✿ ✭ ☾
| next |
#twilight#edward cullen x you#edward cullen x reader#jacob black x you#jacob black x reader#reader insert
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tagged by @livingincolorsagain to do a 2024 fic roundup and i am v late but hope u forgive my tardiness i have been enjoying a new year rot of the highest order. anyway apparently i wrote a whole heap of fic this year and didn't realise it until i made this post.
april
every little thing the sun shows, well it’s worth it
Buck should – he should be freaking out, right? He’d lived thirty-two years of his life without coming close to kissing another man, and it should be making him freak out that tonight, he did – but Buck felt flooded with the oddest sense of calm he’d ever experienced in his life.
He’d kissed a man.
or - after his kiss with Tommy, Buck goes to Hen.
stay close, little brother
hen and maddie share a quiet moment of pride about their little brother at the buckley-han wedding.
may
all roads lead to eddie diaz
Eddie inclined his head slightly. “He is,” he hummed in response. “But it sounds more like you’re wanting to pick a fight here than discuss our mutual appreciation for how great a person Buck is.
Tommy, at least, looked slightly embarrassed. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it before,” he admitted. “The way you feel about him.
or - eddie and tommy have a revelatory conversation about the buck of it all.
july
a sky full of stars
Christopher Diaz had always loved fireworks - the pop, and bang, and the way they would light up the sky with bright colours. His dad didn’t like fireworks though. His dad was afraid of them.
or, even in Texas, Christopher worries about his father spending the Fourth of July alone. So he texts Buck.
can't ignore the crazy visions of me in la
Margarita-drunk Buck ruminates on how beautiful Eddie Diaz is while his best friend is dancing to Chappell Roan. That's what LA pride is for, right?
- or, alternatively: Eddie spends his first pride as an out queer man in a gay club, and Buck is in love with him about it.
october
oh what a terrible honor it's been (to learn that my blessings are things you call sins)
Hey God, it's me, Eddie. I hope you don’t mind that I’m sitting in your house thinking gay thoughts.
Eddie couldn’t help but giggle to himself as he thought the words. If he couldn’t be a bit silly while having a sexuality crisis in a Catholic church – when could he?
Christopher leaves for Texas, Eddie goes back to therapy, unearths an emotional lockbox he had been fourteen years old when he buried, and has a lot of thoughts about how Buck is sunshine incarnate. In hindsight, it probably should have been obvious he wasn't straight.
knowing damn well i haven't been touched by you
Buck’s been having a really weird year. Buck died, and he realised he was bisexual, and he got a boyfriend, and Christopher left and went to Texas after he walked in on Eddie kissing his dead mother’s doppelganger, Eddie had grown a depression mustache, and Gerrard was back at the helm of the 118 and Buck felt like he was starring in a Netflix Original about how a perfectly normal, functional, member of society was driven to commit murder.
- or, Buck's got a boyfriend, Eddie comes out and starts dating men, and Buck loses his entire mind, actually.
november
miss me, but let me go
“I have - I’ve carried this grief, for you, for so long, and I know I can’t let it all go, because a part of me is always going to grieve for you,” Eddie paused. “But I can’t feel like this forever, Shannon. I don’t think you’d want me to, either. So - I need to let some of it go. Okay? I need to - I need to be myself now. For me, and for Christopher. I want to be me.”
On November 1, Eddie builds an altar for Shannon and finds a way to let her go.
you're my sun, my moon, my guiding star
“Fine, let’s have it your way then,” Eddie slammed his phone down on the kitchen table. “You set me up a dating profile then – Hinge, Grindr, whatever you fucking want, Buck. Set me up a dating profile, and you pick which random man I need to sleep with to make it so you feel okay about wanting me.”
in which evan buckley gets dumped, gets drunk with his best friend, realises he's in love with said best friend, and lets his abandonment issues get the best of him. because your first is never your last, right? so buck can't be eddie's first: he needs to be his last.
december
i'll be home for christmas (if only in my dreams)
It was a silly thing, Buck had started, right when Eddie first got to El Paso – we’re looking at the same sky, he’d quipped, on one of their nightly Facetime calls.
Even when they were far apart from each other, they were still able to look up at the same stars, and if they just remembered that, maybe the distance between El Paso, and Los Angeles, wouldn’t feel so cavernous. That’s what Buck had promised him.
simply having a wonderful christmastime (maybe)
Eddie's family were about to arrive for the first Christmas they were hosting in LA as as couple, and, well, Buck felt like he was on the verge of a panic attack so great it would be in the Guinness Book of World Records for the destruction it was liable to cause.
or - the buckley-diazes are hosting christmas for the first time, and buck is freaking out, a little. he has a good reason, he swears.
see the lights, hang the stockings
Eddie finds out that Buck has never ever had a Christmas stocking of his own. He's very determined to change that and share a few Diaz family traditions.
everyone has probably done this already so apologies but tagging @doeeyeseddie @thatbuddie @clusterbuck @hattalove @mellaithwen @sibylsleaves @piningbuddies @eddiebabygirldiaz @hotshotsxyz
#if you remember two other fics i wrote in april no you dont#but if u do i only orphaned them not deleted so if u can still read them if u want#in which i ramble#in which lorna writes fic
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Anger is Humanity: An Analysis on Andre Kriegman
Disclaimer: This analysis is limited only to commentary and analysis as a means to reflect and understand the characters and the internal and external factors that affect their decisions and actions, this is true rationality. Just like all of my posts, I am detached from the media I write about and solely focus on the characters to understand their backgrounds and psychology, for others to gain insight. There is no room for me to romanticize anything I write because I am only here to explain in my understanding. Thank you.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
There are five stages of grief—yet some find themselves perpetually stuck and fixated on the second. It is a never-ending loop due to the fear of experiencing discomfort once the light is found; it is the fear of change, the bargaining of reality, the depression in the recurrence, and the acceptance that misfortune runs in your veins. One is not born with misfortune but rather handed with it.
THE SUPEREGO. A concept based on the Freudian principles of psychoanalysis, which generally develops through the internalization of values and norms given by primary groups (family and society). If members of these groups are either overly strict and abusive or lacking guidance, poor superego is molded. The superego controls the id's basic desires by using the ego, relying on internalized moral ideals. If the superego is underdeveloped, then there is an impairment in moral reasoning and the ability to distinguish what is morally just and unjust. Furthermore, factors such as abusive environments also play a role in hindering normal superego development. Negative consequences are also brought by exposure to violence or alienation.
With this, we view Andre Kriegman in a new light.
His behavior might be the result of an imbalance where his id's destructive desires aren't properly controlled by a strong superego. Freud has also noted various defense mechanisms the ego uses to handle conflicts between the id, superego, and external reality. If Andre's superego isn't functioning well, he might depend on unhealthy defense mechanisms like projection and blaming others for his indecent thoughts or rationalization by justifying his harmful behavior with logical reasoning.
Anger does not come from evil, but it comes from the mistreatment you receive.
It is the pain inflicted on you, the misfortune that leads you to believe that there is no possibility of ever finding the room to grow and move on. The reason why Andre is so fixated on hatred and anger is that it is a defense mechanism born out of the tragic reality that he has been and is hurt. It is the trauma response that begs to cling on you because you fear that in change, more misfortune will arise.
Anger—that is Andre Kriegman. In a world where you have constantly been alienated, you feel less human. You are not perceived, therefore, you do not exist. You are stripped away from whatever humanity you have, because to be a human, you must exist. You are a mere entity, an omnipresent being that is everywhere yet nowhere, all at once. Forced to watch a crowd interact, fearing and knowing you are so easy to be disregarded. You try to imitate them when interacting to be deemed more human, yet alas, all subside suddenly when you are deemed as a deviant. You are isolated, believed to be nothing, and therefore, gone.
Anger sprouts from injustice. This is the rationality in anger—even how disproportionate it feels, like how Andre feels his anger. It is rooted in the lack of good treatment. The hate you feel is disproportionate as if your body begs to regurgitate all the hate you have and project it to anyone else—your family, your peers, and even yourself. You have this strong want to let others feel the pain you feel and bear, simply because this is the part of you that yearns and begs to be seen. To be understood, to be empathized with, to feel human, to be human.
To be treated as you should've been treated—well.
Anger is human. It is a part of humanity itself. Yet, as true as it can be, you can never heal with the same thing that caused it. Pain does not heal pain and anger does not heal anger, that is reality.
Andre Kriegman is anger, he is a reflection of humanity itself and the humanity he was shown. Humanity is anger.
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