#how do I function as a normal society member

[wingtoots]

I’d like to thank @llamagoddessofficial and @aka-indulgence for filling my maladaptive daydreams

Had to sketch my latest obsession- Horror Sans from aka-indulgence fic “Stay” and hmf!Sans by both mentioned above <3

[acediaedeus]

do you ever wonder whether Ichigo had dreams as a kid? did he ever lay in bed, after being tucked in by his loving mother, and imagine his future? and do you ever think about Ichigo, right after his youth, spent being a weapon of war, has ended? about him coming home after a tiring day, filled with what is, in comparison, trivial human matters, and just sitting there for a moment? and then coming to bed and trying very hard to not imagine anything at all? do you? because I don’t!

[saintcatt]

I feel like all the traits I worked so hard to suppress are coming back up full force and I have no idea what to do about it now…

[woso-dreamzzz]

Pipsqueak's Halloween

Ellie Carpenter x Daniëlle van de Donk x Child!Reader

Summary: The seventh of my Halloween-centric fics

When Ellie first found out how seriously you and Daan took Halloween, she hadn't expected this.

She'd expected some trick or treating, of course. Maybe some horror movies, child appropriate obviously. There may have been pumpkin carving but Ellie hadn't ever considered she would be sitting in the car by herself.

She drums the side of the steering wheel, eyes narrowed as she leans forward to check through the windscreen.

All the other families she spies aren't you and Daan.

It wouldn't be difficult to spot either of you.

You're both wearing very stupid Teletubby onesies that makes you stick out from a mile away.

But, yet, you're both nowhere to be found until maybe half an hour (and two packets of skittles) later when Ellie spots one red and one green furry onesie come sprinting up the road.

Daan's yelling something that Ellie can't hear, mouth moving.

Ellie frowns, trying to lip read.

You're yelling something too.

You can't quite keep up with Daan's pace, you're still a kid after all, but Daan's half tugging you along, a tight grip on your hand.

In the end, Ellie loses the lip reading battle and just rolls down the window, sticking her head out of it.

"What?!"

"Start the car!"

"What?!"

"Start the car!"

"Huh?"

"The car!" You interrupt, opening Ellie's door and clambering in, climbing over her to go tumbling into the back," Start it!"

Ellie barely has any time to react as Daan also uses her now open door to climb in. She hauls herself over Ellie's body, slamming the door shut at the same time on her way to the front passenger seat.

"Start the car!" You both snap at her as you spy someone else come running down the street towards you.

"Okay, okay," Ellie says," We're going. We're going."

She throws the car in reverse, backing out of her parking spot as the man who ran after you yells and shakes his fist.

"Did-Did you two do something to him?" Ellie asks," He looked pretty angry."

"I don't know," Daan says," Some people just have those kind of faces. It was nothing."

"Really? He was pretty angry."

"Some people just don't know how to take a joke, Ellie," You say from the backseat.

Ellie frowns, angling her rear view mirror to look at you properly.

You've got the same innocent, butter wouldn't melt in your mouth smile that you wore when Ellie found all of her bras hidden under the sofa cushions and her phone chargers in the back of the fridge.

"Alright," She says, slamming on the breaks," What did you two do? Huh? What did you do this time?"

Ellie isn't used to being the voice of reason of the family.

That's normally Daan, which is another surprising thing for people outside of the family to realise. But Daan's been your mother for years now and she's used to all your tricks and even though she can be a bit childish herself, she's still trying to raise you as a functioning member of society.

So, usually, Daan is the voice of reason in the family.

Especially on occasions where she catches you and Ellie attacking each other with Nerf guns in the early hours of the morning.

But there are times, like this one, where Daan's childish side comes out and Ellie comes to the startling realisation that two Van de Donks is maybe two too many.

"Ellie, you're in the middle of the street," You say, still smiling innocently at her," You can't park here."

"There's no cars coming," Ellie says," And stop deflecting. What did you do?"

"Ellie," Daan says, wearing a matching smile," Why do you think we did something?"

"Because men running after you down the street, you demanding I make a break for it, all on Halloween means you were up to something."

You giggle. "You're so silly, Ellie. Turn right here."

"Are you really giving me orders right now?" Ellie deadpans," We're not moving until you tell me what happened."

"That's fine," You say," We can walk."

Ellie switches on the locks.

"We egged his house!" You say instantly and Daan groans.

"You weren't supposed to tell her!"

"You egged his house?!"

"Yes," Daan says," She just told you that."

"You-You can't go egging people's houses! It's wrong! It takes ages to clean up and-and that man had a right to be angry with you!"

From the backseat, you shrug.

"Yeah and people shouldn't be getaway drivers for people who egg other people's houses. I guess we've all been incriminated here."

[capseycartwright]

knowing damn well that i haven't been touched by you

Buck’s been having a really weird year. Buck died, and he realised he was bisexual, and he got a boyfriend, and Christopher left and went to Texas after he walked in on Eddie kissing his dead mother’s doppelganger, Eddie had grown a depression mustache, and Gerrard was back at the helm of the 118 and Buck felt like he was starring in a Netflix Original about how a perfectly normal, functional, member of society was driven to commit murder.

- or, Buck's got a boyfriend, Eddie comes out and starts dating men, and Buck loses his entire mind, actually.

ao3 link

Buck’s been having a really weird year. 

He got struck by lightning, and he died (for three minutes and seventeen seconds – and sometimes he thinks he still catches Eddie counting the seconds past that, reassuring himself that Buck is alive, and he’s here, and he’s breathing, and most times Buck catches himself counting along with Eddie, needing the assurance of his own existence) and then he came out as bisexual. The two things weren’t related, he knew. Buck didn’t think they were related, at least – he’d heard of people suddenly speaking new languages after they’d been struck by lightning, but he’d never heard of anyone’s sexuality changing as a result of a lightning strike, so he figured he needed to blame that one on a lifetime of unconscious repression. 

Buck died, and he realised he was bisexual, and he got a boyfriend, and that was also weird. Not that Tommy was weird, or anything – it was just weird to say he had a boyfriend. Tommy had a spare toothbrush in Buck’s ensuite bathroom, and a shirt he’d left behind one evening after Buck had spilled red wine on him (it was good to know he still got clumsy with his feelings even when they were for a man) and it hadn’t gotten more serious than that, yet, but Buck still had a boyfriend, and it was strange to say that out loud.

Buck died, and he realised he was bisexual, and he got a boyfriend, and Christopher left and went to Texas after he walked in on Eddie kissing his dead mother’s doppelganger (fair, but also: Eddie was at the very least having a weirder year than Buck) and Buck’s best friend had been in a pretty consistent downward spiral since. 

Eddie wasn’t self-destructing in a familiar way, which Buck also felt was weird. Buck had known Eddie for seven years now, and he’d considered Eddie his very best friend for six years and eleven months of that time, and so he was intimately familiar with the ways in which Eddie liked to self-destruct. Cage fighting, for one, and smashing up his bedroom, for another – but fundamentally, Buck knew, Eddie lashed out and tried desperately to grab onto the things he could control as his life fell apart, but this time, he wasn’t doing that. 

Eddie had grown a depression mustache. That was definitely new – though, Buck supposed there was some element of control in there too, Eddie changing up his appearance because it was one of the few aspects of his life he had control of. The depression mustache gave Eddie a sort of sad Freddie Mercury energy that, frankly, kind of worked for Eddie. He was like a depressed 80s popstar. Very demure, very mindful – May had told him that. Buck still wasn’t sure if he understood the reference. He’d had TikTok for a while, but raging ADHD and shortform video content was a recipe for disaster, he’d quickly learned, so he’d deleted the app, and – anyway, the point was, Eddie was morphing into depressed Freddie Mercury, just without any real fashion sense. Sorry, Eddie.

read the rest on ao3

[starseungs]

of fishes and chocolate muffins. ksm.

kim seungmin x gn!reader — working the morning shift at a cafe on weekdays isn't really the best, entertainment wise. still, eavesdropping on your customers wasn't something you did on a daily basis. it just so happened that two of your regulars had something in store for you today.

GENRE/S — fluff, humor, a pinch of angst, cafe/coffee shop au, writer!seungmin (barely mentioned) • 1.2k words

WARNING/S — profanity for humor, seungmin is pretty down in the dumps for most of this, part 2 of this fic but a different y/n, mentions of unrequited love

( ✒️ ) happy birthday to @seungiepaws !! here's your request for a part 2 of universe lovie, i know i said i'll do a drabble as a gift but it ended up a little longer so you're getting a whole fic mwah <3 i hope you like it

2024 ⓒ starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.

The small bell perched on top of the cafe’s entrance door chimed softly at the arrival of a new customer. Your well-rehearsed greetings immediately followed, words racing out of your lips before you could even think twice. It really didn’t matter whether you meant them or not. As long as the guest felt welcomed, then that meant you were already doing your job well.

You doubt any of them ever even acknowledged your efforts, anyway. That was just how the world worked on a normal Monday morning—everyone running on autopilot until the seemingly brainless hoard of zombies got their lethal dose of caffeine or sugar and started acting like proper functioning members of society for the rest of the day. Then, the cycle repeats.

As an “all-rounder” cafe employee (as you liked to call yourself), this was just another day in the bigger scale of the year. Not too important, nor was it a particularly boring day. That simply wasn’t possible if you were working at a cafe, or really, just working in general.

“You’re always here, dude.” An exasperated voice groans from the window booth next to the serving counter. You recognized his face right away as one of your regulars who looked like a hamster. “At this point, you need to pay this place rent.”

The man he was talking to rolled his eyes with a scoff, even though his fingers never stopped typing on his laptop’s keyboard. “I’m a paying customer. Objectively, I’m already giving them money to stay here.”

You couldn’t help but silently snort at the guy’s comeback. He wasn’t entirely wrong, after all. This cafe’s prices already took into account the amenities they could use here. So technically speaking, as long as customers bought something from the cafe’s menu, they could stay for as long as they want until the establishment closes. That’s not usually the case, though. Most people still had places to be and other things to do other than have a staycation on some random cafe seat.

Note that you said “most” instead of “all”. Of course, there were always bound to be those who, for the lack of a better description—overstayed their welcome. 

And one of them is that chestnut-haired male who was currently getting berated by his friend.

“Seungmin, seriously!” The other guy, who you finally remembered being named Jisung from his previous orders, exclaimed in concern. “You can’t just stay here all day, every day. I know you’re trying to get over your roommate, but at least make use of your rent?” Jisung almost pleads.

You really didn’t mean to eavesdrop on their conversation, as the topic seemed awfully private, but what exactly could you do from the close proximity of the counter and their booth? It’s not like you were judging the two of them. There was no harm intended, and you were sure you’d still go about your day as usual with or without this newly obtained knowledge from strangers.

Seungmin sighed. “I don’t think you want me to be cooped up in my room writing either, so what do you really want to achieve?” His hands finally parted ways from his keyboard for the first time in about an hour. “Jisung, you know being alone in the apartment is only going to remind me of how my roommate is out there with their boyfriend being all happy and enjoying life while I’m over here writing sappy fictional love stories because I don’t have one of my own.”

“Oh, but you do.” Jisung huffs. “It’s just the unrequited kind.”

“Haha, very funny.”

“Just saying,” he comments. “I’m gonna let you sulk all you want as part of your healing process, but you really shouldn’t be sacrificing yourself just for the thought of them. You deserve better, Min.”

If you could only agree out loud, then you already would’ve. Unfortunately, that meant revealing the fact that you’ve been secretly listening in to the personal conversations of your customers, and you weren’t completely sure if that was even legal for you to do so. Still, what are they going to do? Charge you for having ears?

“I don’t know,” Seungmin mutters. “I’ll manage it eventually.” And to this, Jisung only frowns.

Now, you were just as frustrated as Jisung was. Seungmin is an attractive guy—you were one hundred percent certain that he could get anyone head-over-heels for him if he wanted. And yet, here he was, a monotone mess over unrequited love? Whoever that roommate is, they had severely failed to see the vision since if that was you, best believe you weren’t letting him go just like that. 

Seungmin had honestly caught your eye ever since the moment he started going to this cafe. To put things into perspective, you were practically all smiles for the rest of the day every time he came to order something in the mornings before his daily schedule. When he started staying for whole days, it was only a matter of time before you ended up shooting your shot, even if you barely knew anything about him. Heck, the most you even knew about him was that he liked the chocolate muffins the most here!

A plate of chocolate muffin was heavily plopped down on the two men’s table, startling them due to the sudden act. They exchanged confused glances before Jisung cleared his throat to speak. “Uh—we didn’t order that.”

“It’s on the house.” You pursed your lips.

“What?” Seungmin asks, dumbfounded. You knew he was going to ask for a reason until he saw the look on your face while staring at him. His expression quickly shifted to one of mortification. “Were—were you eavesdropping on us?”

You clicked your tongue. How were you finding his reaction to that so cute? “Look, I didn’t mean to,” you explain. “See that counter? Just how far do you think my station is to your booth for me not to hear a single thing?” Seungmin only grumbles—probably to hide his embarrassment.

“Alright, sure. Whatever,” he says. “I still don’t need that muffin.”

Your eye twitched involuntarily. All of a sudden, you were already leaning on their table with narrowed eyes pointed at the laptop-facing man. “Okay, listen here, you soggy rained-on puppy.” You could have sworn you heard Jisung choke. “This is gonna sound really shitty of me, but there are plenty more fish in the sea. The same goes for your experiences in life. Trust me, you’re not even close to losing those opportunities yet. Unless you’re trying to live like a saint, that is. So grow some balls after your little pity party.”

“That was,” Seungmin exhales shakily. “Vaguely threatening. But somehow I’m not as offended as I thought I would be, so—uh, thanks?” He taps lightly on the plastic cup of his drink, looking away awkwardly.

You lifted yourself off the table and crossed your arms. “My name is Y/N. I work here every morning on the weekdays.” 

“Right,” he hums, still not glancing your way and instead facing the baked good you dropped by their tabletop. “So, is this muffin really free?”

All you let yourself give him was a nonchalant shrug. “Yeah. Just call me whenever or something. Congratulations on hooking a new fish,” you said without shame before walking away back to your station.

If you only looked back for a moment, you would’ve seen Jisung gasping for air from laughter with an incredibly red faced Seungmin blanking out as he held a serious staring contest with his muffin.

You could only hope that cheered him up a bit.

MASTERTAG ━ STATUS: OPEN — ASK OR COMMENT 🫶

@fairyki @hysgf @euncsace @comet-falls @starlostseungmin @ameliesaysshoo @hyunverse @wnbnny @xocandyy @minluvly @moon0fthenight @estellaluna @hanjsquokka @starlostastronaut @minsueng @l3visbby @myjisung

[satorusugurugurl]

Cake

Summary: Nanami Kento has a bubble butt, and you love it. 🎂

Characters: Nanami Kento x AFAB!Reader

Word Count: 935

Warnings: Butt groping, biting, fluff

A/N: just a drabble inspired by a conversation with @sugurubabe ! I would bounce nickles off that butt.

Nanami Kento had a bubble butt, one that looked amazing in his tailored suit. You could easily spot him across the courtyard at the school. It was so full and slapable, but you had to refrain from allowing yourself to let your hormones take over.

At least when you were in the public eye.

It was free range when you were alone or in the comfort of your own home! Nanami never knew when you’d lose yourself to your carnal desires. But he always felt it. He could be walking in front of you down an alleyway and SMACK! The impact would make him jolt and hiss through his teeth as you giggle like a gremlin bolting off in front of him. Or he could be just minding his business making tea in the kitchen to feel you grope both cheeks in your hands and massage him. Nanami would sigh as he gripped the counter, waiting for you to satisfy your needs.

The fact you were obsessed with his ass didn't bother him. He almost found it endearing. If giving him a smack or massage made you happy, he would roll his eyes with a chuckle and wait for you to hurry off before going about your day with a pep in your step.

Smacks and massages were normal, something that happened nearly every day. You like to throw in the occasional pinch now and then to keep him on his toes! But for the most part, Nanami Kento was used to your antics.

At least, he thought he was.

The sun had set by the time you got home after an exhausting day at work. You had no energy to eat, watch TV, or function as a contributing member of society. You could only take a hot shower and crawl into bed to snuggle your boyfriend.

The thoughts of the warm water against your muscles kept you moving forward until you stepped through the doorway into your bedroom. The nightstand light was on, illuminating the room in a warm yellowish hue. One that highlighted the curves of your boyfriend's body, who was lazily flipping the page of his book. He must have gotten out of the shower recently because his hair was still damp. But he was ready for bed as he lounged in his black t-shirt and blue and black plaid sweats.

The same plaid sweats that hugged his ass perfectly.

You stared at his bubble butt, mouth-watering as your hands twitched and screamed for you to smack it, pinch it, and massage it. But deep, deep down, the gremlin in you wanted more. It was desperate for more. There was an aching in your teeth, and you knew what needed to be done.

Your boyfriend was so enthralled in his book that he never heard you coming. He hummed, flipping the page as you tip-toed towards the side of the bed, eyes locked in on your target. Just as he flipped another page, you struck.

You jumped forward, chomping your teeth down on his bootylicious butt. Nanami’s whole body went stiff. His eyes went wide, hands dropping the book he held before he jerked his head to look back at you. You were chomping down on his ass over and over again, moving from the left cheek to the right, making Nanami’s whole face turn bright red.

“What is wrong with you?!” He asked as you finally pulled away. Admiring the wet bite marks you left in your wake.

“Just had to try the cake you so kindly had on display~!” You go in for another bite only to have him clench his cheeks together. “Awee! Kento, don’t clench so tight! How can I bite down if you do that?!”

“That's sort of the whole point!”

With a pout, you sigh softly, getting up, smacking his plump ass. “Fine~ thanks for the meal.” Turning on your heel, Nanami sighed, relaxing against the bed and turning his head to watch you walk away with flushed cheeks. Only to watch you turn back around, pouncing on the bed and chomping down on his now unclenched ass.

“Ah!” Nanami growled as you both wrestled each other. “You brat!” he grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked it gently, pulling you off of him.

You were a giggling, flushed mess. You bit your lip, and your nose scrunched up as Nanami chuckled. You were absolutely adorable despite your need to sink your teeth into him. Nanami gently pulled you up, wrapping his arms around you.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” You giggle louder, nuzzling your face into his chest.

“I love you, Kento.”

“I love you too.” He held you close. “But I'm keeping you here until the urge to bite my ass is gone.” You perked up, and the sudden moment caused your boyfriend to tighten his gaze. “Stop.”

Your bottom lip stuck out as faux sorrow tugged at your features. “I can't bite you ass?”

“No.”

“Just your ass?”

“Yes, Love, my ass is off limits.”

“Oh good.”

There was a mischievous tone in your voice. One that had every muscle in Nanami’s body tensing up as he slowly turned to look at you. There was no time to react or protest as you bit down his pectoral, nibbling and chewing at the muscle. Nanami stroked your head with a heavy sigh, smiling wide as your teeth nibbled gently over him. If this made you happy, he’d let you have fun.

Forever Tag List:

@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe e @chilichopsticks @reap3erslov3

[kimberly-spirits13]

SFW Fluff Alphabet w/ Jason Todd

A= How affectionate are they

he's like a teddy bear and wants to cuddle all the time

he always wants a kiss or a hug and wants you to know how much he loves you

Jason's affection knows no bounds- he makes sure that you feel great and are doing perfect and that everything in life is alright

Cold? He's got a hoodie and a blanket. Sad? He's a leather shoulder to cry on. Happy? He's happy too

he likes to be touching at any moment

On patrol you're rubbing shoulders and he's as close to you as possible without straight up hugging you, he's got a hang on your back, hand on your thigh, he's got both hands holding your hands, you two link pinkies, his hand is in your hair, his hand is on your cheek, any form of touch

B= Bond- What do you bond over

Jay really, really likes reading so if you're into reading, he wants to talk about it a lot

if you're not a reader, well surprise, you are now

hearing him talk so highly of his books makes you want to read, just so you can talk to him more about them

He likes to work on his bike and clean his weapons so if you're down to help him, he'd be so excited

if you also have a tragic backstory, get ready to trauma dump with each other

he's got a deep respect for those who have lived through terrible tragedies and are still functioning members of society (even if it's partial functioning)

C= Cuddles- How do they cuddle

Cuddle monster

like it's cheesy but it's how you describe him

he also loves sleeping on top of you with his head buried in your neck or using your chest as a pillow and he's got his arms wrapped tightly around you

he likes to be the big spoon since he finds it uncomfortable for someone his sized to be cuddled lol

he's a giant so just let him tuck you into his chest and snooze away

he likes to cuddle in minimal clothing sometimes, not in a sexy way but in a he really likes having you close to him at all times

plus, he's a space heater so it's not like you're going to get cold

D= Domestic- What are they like domestically 

he loves being domestic

you two have a nice medium sized apartment with a guest room or two and your bedroom and an office maybe with a big kitchen and living room and a washer and dryer room

He makes bank on that criminal mastermind gig

Plus, if you're working, it helps being dual income

He really likes cleaning around the house and you think it's a stress reliever for him

there are temporary dance breaks during cleaning and he likes to dip you down and kiss you to whatever song is playing- he secretly finds it adorable when you dance on his feet and he will not complain, but don't tell a soul deary

he really really really likes to cook too

Your place always smells like a master piece and Jason really likes going to William Sonoma

it's the fanciest place that he will willingly go to

E= Ego- How much do they think about themselves in a relationship

He's got boundaries like a normal human being, but the dude is really selfless

Jason just wants everything to be alright and he is able to make compromises where they need to be made

the one thing that he really, really cares about is making sure that his weapons, bike, helmet, and things are all in check

I wouldn't recommend going around and messing with anything unless you have to

Like he's not going to be mad at you, but Jason just prefers that that stuff gets left alone unless specifically told otherwise

F= Fights- How are they during and after fights

fights are few and in between but when they happen, they happen

it's not really ever over anything small because you can quickly just talk it out with Jason

if it's over something like a mission or safety or doing something reckless, it's a big fight

he doesn't yell, he hates yelling at you, but his eyes go dark and he's so angry

he's probably clenching his jaw and just has to take a minute to cool off at some points

"I'm not ignoring you, I just can't talk about this while I'm this angry about it."

and he'll go on a brisk walk to cool off

he comes back and sits down and talks about it less angry

Alfred once told him, "it's not you against Y/N, it's you and Y/N against the problem. Don't be upset with each other that you have differing views or wants, that's how humans work, we're all different. Anger only gets grown men into bat costumes Master Jason."

G= Growth- How does your relationship change them

Jason actually becomes more secure in himself

it's like you've taught him that he deserves to be loved, so it's easier for him to accept that he doesn't hate himself

he's more patient, more deliberate with the things that he does and says and because of this, he comes home from patrol less and less injured

H= Hugs-What are hugs like

big bear hugs

he likes to engulf you and make sure that you're not leaving for a little while

He likes all kinds of hugs because it means that he's close to you, but he prefers the ones that turn into cuddle sessions

he'll run his hands through your hair or scratch your back

sometimes when he's having a bad day, he just needs to burry his head in the crook of your neck and have you whisper that it's going to be alright

I= I love you- How fast did it take for them to say II love you

he doesn't say it too fast, but he also doesn't take forever to say it

It's maybe like a year or a bit less into dating and he has to leave for a mission

You were either not going to go because you're not a vigilante, or you needed to stay behind to make sure that some crime mob wasn't starting back up

He says "I love you" when he's about to leave

He doesn't want to leave you, but he knows he has to

He hugs you so tight when you say it back

it means the world to him that you care about him like that

it's a rib crushing soul and he thinks about it the entire mission

J= Jealousy- How jealous are they

I'd say he can be pretty jealous but also he's easily leveled off

if someone is taking your attention and he's not getting as much as usual, he inserts himself into conversations or situations like a Golden Retriever

he just kinds of sits there and stares at your or rubs circles on your hang until you give him attention

If it's someone flirting with you, he likes to make some sort of show out of it

If there's someone flirting with you at a gala (which happens a lot), he pulls you in for a dance and kissing you in the middle of the dance floor

You know what he's doing but you're not going to deny it are you

K= Kisses- How do they kiss/ where do they like to be kissed

He likes to be kissed everywhere

his shoulders, his abs, his collarbone, his neck, behind his ear, his cheek, the forehead, on the lips

you name it

he really prefers a real kiss though

that's his go to

L= Love language- What’s their love language 

quality time and physical touch

he just wants you

Jason would melt into you at any moment if it meant he got to be close to you

He wants to spend time with you, even if you're not doing the same thing, and he wants his body touching yours somehow

M= Mornings- What are mornings with them like-

he's the kind of guy that sets an early alarm if he has to get up so that he can cuddle

mornings are basically always slow and warm and cozy

he likes to cuddle in the morning and have himself wrapped around you

sometimes before bed, he turns the AC colder so that when you wake up, you have to be close together to keep warm

if he wakes up before you, he'll either go back to sleep, or he plays with your hair until you wake up

N= Nicknames- What are their nicknames for you

doll

babe

love

darling

hottie

hot stuff

angel

love

O= On Patrol- What’s it like being on patrol with them

He likes to keep a close eye on you

You have to learn that it's not because he doesn't trust you, it's because he's always worried about the people he loves getting hurt or dying

he wants to make sure that at any moment something goes South, he's there to protect you

he flirts a lot on patrol

He also likes cracking jokes while he's busting skulls

it's one of the more morbid things he does

he likes to team up on patrol and always wants to know what you're doing and how you're doing

the two of you will often be seen near the bank building eating fast food perched on the ledge

he'll totally take you to his favorite gargoyle don't worry

P= PDA- What’s their stand on PDA

loves PDA, loves touching you

he's not gross about it like he's never making out with you in front of a crowd but he's always got an arm around you or a hand on your thigh

There are plenty of pap pictures of him with his arm wrapped around your shoulder while talking to you or glaring at something/ someone

if you're also famous for something, the paparazzi are always there but ten fold the intensity if you weren't famous

articles are always being written about Gotham's favorite couple

America's favorite couple if you're big enough

Q= Quirks- What are their quirks

he really likes to keep things really, really clean

usually your house is spotless because he's cleaning up after himself and you do the same

sometimes partners just get comfy and leave their crap everywhere

not Jason, he's clean as can be, not because he's uncomfortable around you, but because it's comforting for him to be in a non chaotic space

you know that he's stressed when he starts leaving things everywhere

R= Remember- Do they remember the details or the big picture

Jason remembers everything down to the final detail

there's like an always open compartment in his brain that filters and sorts the information about you and your relationship

he knows what you like and dislike, who you're beefing with at all times, what flavor candies are your favorite, what food you don't like, if there's a spice you don't like, he knows how you prefer your clothes and what color metal for jewelry you prefer, he knows how you like the recoil on your guns if you have any, he remembers the washing detergent that you use and the dryer sheet scent and brand

man knows everything

it's like that one kid that just knows random, niche information that no one expects them to know

he knows it allll

S= Security- How do you two feel around each other

he feels so safe and free around you

he just knows that if there is a problem, you'd be able to handle it

If there was a moment when he was taken out, he knows you'd protect him somehow

he gets all soft around you and he feels comfortable letting his guard down

You can trust that he's always there for you and that no matter what, he's going to be there for you

Jason is loving and attentive and wants to take care of you in any way possible

T= Taste- what do they prefer in a partner 

he needs someone that can keep up with him

he's an intellectual, even if doesn't seem like it

he's an analytical person and needs someone that can have conversations with him and be on his level

Like you really don't have to be a straight A student because not all smart people are straight A students

I mean come on, Albert Einstein was reported to be a bad student and he's a genius

he also wants someone that puts some care into themselves

if you're running around without a care in the world, stepping into oncoming traffic because you don't care, it's going to stress him tf out

U= Understanding- How understanding of you are they

Jason is extremely understanding of life

I mean it's screwed him over a few times so he knows that it can get difficult

Jason also needs someone that is understanding of him

they understand why he maybe doesn't want to watch IT, or he sleeps a lot when he can, or he doesn't like loud noises and ticking sounds

Jason being understanding though doesn't mean that he's easy to use

Oh he understands alright

he understands that he hates the people that try and use him for gain

V= Value- What do they value most in a relationship

Jason values someone that will be just as enthusiastic about something as he is

He loves someone that wants to be around him and talk to him

he need someone that he can vent to without judgement

he needs someone that respects his personal boundaries (as any normal human is like)

he needs someone that can understand that even if sometimes he messes up, he's really, really trying to turn out better than he was told he would become

W= Work- Do they balance their work schedule well around your relationship 

he's pretty good at balancing work around your relationship

it helps if you're a vigilante too

sometimes things comes up and he has to skip a date or comes home extra late and he really, really hates it and feels so bad about it

he's sure to call and text you all the time to make sure that you never get stood up somewhere or that you know what he's doing and what his intentions are

He never wants you to feel like you're being left behind or put on the back burner

X= Xtra- Extra headcannons

He's got good taste when it comes to interior design

he got an apartment where he did to make sure that it would always have sunlight during the day

I'd say he's a handy person too

I mean he worked with Bruce his entire life and does mechanics, he can't be that bad at fixing a bad pipe or general maintenance

Y= Yearning- How much do they miss you when you’re apart

Jason hates LOATHS being without you

if you're out of town for a mission or something, he doesn't sleep well and he struggles to chill out

he's always on edge wondering if there's something wrong that needs fixing

whenever you're reunited, he's all over you

the "never leaving you again" mentality

he's not obsessive but he really, really misses you when you're gone

like his other half or one of his lungs is missing

Z) Zeal- How dedicated or enthusiastic about the relationship are they

when he's serious about something, he's all in it

he loves being around you and making leaps in your relationship

he values your company and everything that you have to offer and he just thinks that you're the greatest thing to exist since indoor plumbing

there's no cheating, no longing looks at someone else, there's nothing that indicates anything going on between him and someone else

He's just there for you and that's it

he is yours and yours only and that's how he prefers it to be

[enden-k]

"what if, as soon as haitham can dream again, all his dreams are constantly filled with kaveh kaveh kaveh as if seeing him every day in their his home is not enough, he needs him in the nights as well. "

First of all: screams

Second of all: it would be so fucking Funny if Nahida for some reason had to read Al-Haithams mind and all she can find in there is Kaveh.

Or Al-Haitham/Nahida explaining that the reason he didn't fall for the divine knowledge capsule was because he's already completely mad and obsessed with Kaveh./jk Kaveh lives rent free in his heart and mind, he's just learned how to live with it and act like a normal functioning member of society. His poker face is unparalleled.

i have no time to babble bc i lit drew this so fast before i had to leave for work (omw rn) so ill do that later maybe

this is based/in context to this ramble of mine

anw yes i had to doodle this so bad bc it would be so funny (interesting 👀) fr so !!!!! ill talk later, have this rushed sketch

[melmedarda]

arcane ep 1 dashboard simulator

🌉 pilt-power Follow

did we all hear about the explosion in the kiramman building in midtown? somebody's getting fired and i hope its old cassie

🗝️ kirammankitty Follow

literally get off her case? yes it was an apprenta from her clan whos apartment was blown up but its not her fault. she is a mother and a fully functioning member of society you're just jealous you'll never be as rich and influential as she is

🌉 pilt-power Follow

don't know how to tell you this but she's not gonna fuck you.

#some people wanna eat the rich and not in the cannibalistic way #anways fuck the kirammans

🏚️ zaun-and-zest Follow

deckard won't admit it but he got his ass handed to him by a girl. so much for his hardass exterior

🥊 fist-in-your-face Follow

are you saying girls can't fight?

🌐 worldstarzaun Follow

i saw thatttt bro, she let him have it. we were like let him get up, let him get up #deckardassbeating

🏚️ zaun-and-zest Follow

no i'm implying he is weaker than a girl do not put words in my mouth i will enforce my foot up your ass

🍃 downthesump420 Follow

i swear to janna if that pleasure house yordle makes eyes at me again i'm jumping into the pilt and filing a restraining order

🏩 babettes-saggy-tits Follow

why is it you. what do you have that i do not?

👤 life-in-the-lanes-deactivated-3404985 Follow

those damn kids have got the fucking enforcers breaking down my door and for WHAT. this is why i don't want kids they are too much trouble. normalize celibacy

🍺 alkaholical Follow

you won't have that chance have kids bc nobody will sleep with you unless you pay them

👤 life-in-the-lanes-deactivated-3404985 Follow

my mother will know your name

🐹 deathtoheimer Follow

you aren't living in zaun if you don't have multiple organ failure!!!!

🐹 deathtoheimer Follow

👮🏾 grayson-fanpage Follow

Grayson sighted in the Lanes, at Benzo's shop.

🚨 graysonsulimatefanboy Follow

grayson pick me please pick me please pick me please pick me please pick me please pick me im on my knees pleace pick me plouse pick me come over i'm at 69 sidereal st

🫄graysoncocksleeve Follow

mommy longdick just landed back in the lanes!!!!!! welcome mommy longdick!!!!

🚓 graysontheemilf Follow

now what is she doing in the ghetto? free my milf!!! grayson come home baby, the kids miss you!!

🔗 graysons-left-asscheek Follow

humilating how you all are begging over an enforcer who enables piltover's unjust presence and occupation of zaun. disgusting!!! the gray has muddled your minds. that being said, i need grayson to dom me.

🚫 defundthenenforcers Follow

using this post as a blocklist, all of you are sick fucks

🍻 thelastfop Follow

fuck that piltie marcus his stupid face makes me want to kill someone

💦 dilfvander Follow

a fellow marcus hater on my dash??? legendary because i hate that sleeze bag too. i hope he stubs his toe every morning and gets an itch he can never scratch and falls into the pilt and is run through a ship propeller and his remains float out to bilgewater where he becomes fish food. dishonor on him and his family fr.

🍻 thelastfop Follow

bro said

[heartofbusan]

My live reactions of AYS's final (for now 😌) episode 💛💜

-----

Jimin really had a lot of input on the itineraries and restaurants. He should get a producing credit 🤧 : 'Keeper of JK's every want, need and desire in the form of food, accommodation and more 👀': Park Jimin

OH MY BABY Like Crazyyyy!!

They really are the top singers in Korea lmao. You sometimes forget it, with how normally weird they are.

The owners of the restaurant must have been thrilled to have them. #Blessed

The boyfriend shot!?!?!? YOUR HONOR! HE DID NOT deny nor refute the outright allegation!!

Jungkook enjoys life to the fullest.

Also, Jk loves beer.

ESCUSE ME?!?!?!?

THEY GET FLIRTY WHEN DRUNK. DRUNK SHENANIGANS HAVE HAPPENED. I AM SURE OF IT.

Jungkook is such a good boy. You tell him to do something, and he does it. #obedient

JK's stomach makes all his life's decisions.

This hot tub scene is going to end me as a functioning member of society. WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLL

THIS SURE IS NICE

THIGHS. NO NOTES.

COME ON BABY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? WHAAST

Jimin doesn’t want to extend JKs suffering. So sweet!!

"That’s my Jungkook." Omg

"HONEY"

WTF IS HAPPENING, SHOULD I LEAVE THE ROOM

Baby reference no. 4852820 and counting.

-The more relaxed they are, the more they forget they're being filmed. The touches increase, and the fawning commences. Also, Jimin watching himself and seeing how he's presenting himself for the show is such an interesting occurrence. There's an interesting thought happening there as he becomes aware of it... Is he seeing and becoming aware of his layer of veneer as they were filming? He scaled it back for sure. He let more of his acute feelings through as the seasons progressed. I love that it became less like work for him.

-They are idiots! And I love them for it! The Jeon Park household is filled with laughter. And grunting ofc. Don't forget the copious amounts of grunting. I'm watching this at work and by God if someone walks in on me listening to this...I'll get called into HR 😃 #worthit

ONGOD JIMIN ON THE FLOOR LEGS SPREAD WHO APPROVED THIS MESSAGE?!?!

Also: Jungkook loves cooking. Whomever is making fun of him for choosing to be in the kitchen is an idiot. Please always be happy JK!

Precedent. This show is setting it. Remember it well.

You realize that they have the means to travel like this all the time?!?! But they chose to take us with them? WE ARE BLESSED.

Jimin always finds a moment to connect, physically as well as emotionally. He'll never leave his man hanging on a joke.

BUT JUNGKOOK IS RIGHT THERE WITH HIM ON THE EQ SCALE..He sees Jimin fully, and he treats him gently and with tender care. Knowing Jimin is quiet because the trip is nearing its end😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

They deserve to live their lives without serving us. Without feeling like they need to show us, just because it makes us happy to see them happy. Then again, if this is them normalizing them as a unit and seeing them together, and if it serves them just as much as it does us. Well then I hope they keep up this exceptional excuse to make content. The hate will always be there. The shippers too.

But what will never change is the commitment they have towards each other. They really do complete one another *bawling*

I loved this episode! It was so relaxed and paired back. They really are a give and take couple, giving each other space, patience or attention. Really, they should get married. It's just too perfect a union.

[dranosh-haran-of-paleoworld]

Okay, this is my first time doing this, but I need to say this, to the people who claim Sasuke's a bad clan leader, or that Fugaku and Mikoto would've accepted his relationship with Sakura had the clan survived, you're all idiots and I am not sorry for saying that.

I don't watch or read Boruto as I don't consider anything past chapter 695 as canon, but I'm still going to get this out of the way first. Sasuke never wanted to marry that bitch Sakura, he never wanted a kid with her or whatever. This man is the victim of a state-sanctioned genocide, torture, and humiliation at hands of his own brother whom he loved dearly and admired, and it was all done on orders of the state after decades of systemic segregation, oppression, prejudice, and discrimination. Sasuke was forced to relive the massacre over a million times in the Tsukuyomi and went through this twice once when he was 7 and again when he was 12 or 13, with the latter experience putting him in a coma following Itachi breaking his wrist and ribs, and this nearly killed him had Tsunade not helped him (literally the ONLY good thing she did in the series). If anyone here in the real world experienced this, they'd either be dead or in some kind of mental hospital. The point is that they would be mentally destroyed, and they'd barely be able to function in society. Regular depression already fucks people up as is, and Sasuke went something no one should ever have to go through and it's a miracle he's still able to function as is.

Sasuke also repeatedly to Sakura to fuck off and leave him alone. That bitch repeatedly pestered and harassed him for years, emotionally wearing him down until he agreed to hump and dump her ass once. This bitch emotionally abused this poor guy, so it's no surprise he not only didn't want shit to do with her or her sithspawn of a daughter. This guy wasn't emotionally or mentally stable after what Itachi did to him at 7, and he hasn't been since. Hell, it's said in one of the databooks that Sasuke originally wanted a normal life with family and friends, but Itachi ruined it with his torture sessions. Those of you shitting on Sasuke for not being a good clan leader for not communicating with Sakura or Sarada or something, don't use your heads, those two dumbasses aren't even Uchiha.

Now, onto the other part of my argument, neither Fugaku nor Mikoto would've accepted Sakura being in a potential partner for Sasuke had the Uchiha survived, however, before I start this portion let me admit that this will be hard for me to properly articulate and so I apologize in advance so with that said let's get into this.

Putting aside how shitty and lackluster of an individual Sakura herself is, she also offers or brings nothing to the table.

As other people have so beautifully said before, the Uchiha are one of the oldest and strongest clans in the series. Their lineage goes back thousands of years, dating back to the time of Hagoromo, who himself was considered a myth by the public in the present. Because of this, there's a great deal of prestige, honor, pride, and recognition that comes with their bloodlines' age. Not only that, but the Uchiha are more distinct and well-known than any other clan in the series. The Uchiha are the ONLY clan to possess distinctly potent and voluminous chakra, and because of this, they're only ones who possess and wield one of the most powerful and coveted kekkei genkai in the series the sharingan. This stems from them being the ONLY clan to have inherited the potent chakra and dojutsu of the Shinju.

The Uchiha have their own clan specific culture, mores, values, beliefs, and traditions strictly unique to themselves, for example, the clans' crest can only be worn by the members of the clan who've demonstrated mastery over their signature fireball katon jutsu and as Fugaku says to Sasuke it represents the will of those with fans who manipulate fire, use or mastery over this jutsu also makes that Uchiha a fully fledged member of the clan.

The Uchiha were known and feared throughout the world for their strength, prowess, and renown as a battle clan, so much so that other villages had rules when facing off against them. Every time someone saw or confronted Sasuke, they always brought up his lineage with reverence and fear. Two Kumo shinobi saw him and Taka carrying Bee away, and while they considered rescuing Bee, they immediately changed their minds upon seeing the Uchiha crest on Sasuke's back and instead reported to Ae about what happened. A whole crowd of wealthy patrons showed up at the Chunin Exams to see the last Uchiha battle it out, and that's why Sasuke wasn't disqualified for showing up late to his battle with Gaara during the Exams. During the Warring States Period, the Uchiha were virtually unstoppable with only the Senju due to their jutsu variety and their chieftain the freak Hashirama Senju rivaling them.

Taking all of this into account, there's no reason for a distinguished clan/bloodline like the Uchiha to take an outsider like Sakura into their midst and spoil the bloodline. Bloodline purity is a thing in the real world and persists to this very day. It's actually considered to be a huge transgression for members of distinguished clans, families, and lines to bring outsiders in and spoil their bloodlines by marrying them to the point that they're cast out and probably disowned to the highest caliber for doing it.

I wanna briefly talk about Sakura herself and explain why neither Fugaku, Mikoto, or the rest of the clan wouldn't have accepted her into their midst.

As a shinobi, Sakura is a complete nobody. She has no feats, strengths, capabilities, skills, or whatever that her remotely capable.

Her chakra reserves ridiculously tiny, she can't even handle a trickle of biju chakra. Her skillset is a complete copy pasta of Tsunade's, her skills as a medical nin are surpassed by those of Tsunade, Hashirama, Kabuto and even Sasuke during the time he had Orochimaru's white snake abilities in his system and even after he lost that, as Sasuke's self-taught himself to funnel raiton through his body to avoid mortal injury which he's done during his battles against Deidara, Bee, and Danzo. Sakura hasn't improved on, reinvented, or created her own jutsus. Her super strength is just an extension of her byakugo. She's got no talent for genjutsu or handling vast amounts of chakra. Her speed and agility feats are nonexistent, and her intelligence feats are lackluster too.

Sakura also doesn't come from a distinguished clan or bloodline. Neither she nor her parents are civilians. Let me take this time to clarify that the hidden villages house NO civilians within their midst, the hidden villages are MILITARY powers, everyone within them are soldiers, it would be antithetical for these villages to house civilian populations within them as the civilians contribute nothing to the overall prosperity and function of the village as again these are military powers within the countries. Sakura and her parents are from a smaller or minor clan within the series.

Sakura also doesn't train or take her training seriously. Sasuke points this out to her in canon during the earliest chapters of the Chunin Exams arc, and Sakura still did jackshit about it, only finally taking her training seriously after Sasuke left Konoha for good and defected to Orochimaru. And since the Uchiha again are a battle clan and the most elite clan in canon, someone like Sakura ain't being allowed within a hundred feet of them.

As an individual, Sakura, as I said above, is very lackluster and shitty. This girl has petty self-esteem issues. She knows she's lacking in various departments and tries to compensate for this by latching onto others like a leech and using them for her self-worth, Ino was originally this before Sasuke unwittingly came along. She's very shallow and vain, too.

She knows absolutely nothing about Sasuke from minor things like whether or not he wore glasses, to serious things like him being an orphan, which is ridiculous since everyone else at the academy knew these details before they were made genins. She doesn't question or try to understand Sasuke or his motivations.

She's an asshole to pretty much anyone and everyone around her whenever Sasuke's not around in canon, including other women.

She broke off her years' worth of friendship with Ino over a boy who didn't know she existed and wanted nothing to do with her. She's also made numerous attempts to downgrade and put Ino down, despite the fact that Ino was the first person to treat her with kindness, helped her with her bullies, and was the first person to validate her. Ino was also the one to try and mend and patch up their relationship. Hell, Sakura wanted Sai to call Ino ugly and was pissed when he didn't.

During the War Arc, she disrespected Tsunade, her own mentor who turned her from a nobody to a decently capable medical shinobi.

She taped a picture of her in her thirties over a picture of Karin with Sasuke and spreads rumors to Sarada about other women, like Ino trying to take Sasuke away from her.

She frequently insults and assaults Naruto, and it isn't comedy relief as she does this even after he saves her or treats her nicely. She assaulted Sai for calling her ugly despite the poor guy being a slave and Sakura name calling Naruto on a regular basis. She also attacked Konohamaru before calling her an ugly bitch (which was based on his part lol). She was also pissy about his and Naruto's sexy jutsus only to act like a fan girl when he showed her hot naked dudes, like Sasuke. So she's a hypocrite.

And she doesn't care about her own parents, and actually disrespected them, Naruto's parents, and Sasuke's as well. She tried in canon to invalidate the importance and love Sasuke had for his parents and clan, and that's tremendously disrespectful. Hell, in Boruto, she repeatedly chased after Sasuke despite being pregnant with Sarada putting her at risk, discarded the umbilical cord, which is a serious taboo, wrecked her house when Sarada asked her a simple question or two about her father, Karin frequently sends Sarada gifts instead of Sakura.

The Uchiha as a whole care deeply about one another and all within their clan, and someone like Sakura, who's again vain, shallow, petty, selfish, disrespectful, and ignorant would NEVER be considered fit to join them.

Let's play a little game of What if? Because this is something I've thought about for a while.

Following Sasuke's successful usage and mastery of the Uchiha fireball katon in front of Fugaku who himself chooses to make Sasuke his heir, Hiruzen decided to not only personally meet with and apologize to Fugaku and the Uchiha for the false accusations and punishment over the 9-Tails attack, but he also grants the clan the rights and positions of power that they deserved from the beginning, even stepping down as hokage and letting Fugaku become hokage then and there, but Fugaku maintains his decision on Sasuke being the next clan head. If this scenario took place, there's no way in Hell Sakura's going to be anywhere near Sasuke. He would've been even more untouchable for her than he already was in canon. Sasuke was already very clan oriented and duty bound in canon. He was fervently loyal and devoted to his clan and cared deeply about what they and his family thought of him, outsiders be damned. Fugaku isn't allowing any of his children, especially his heir, to marry an outsider like Sakura. The Uchiha clan in its entirety wouldn't have accepted this either. There's no way they would've accepted their future chieftain marrying a non-Uchiha, and if they did accept it, they would've accepted someone of equal standing or prestige as them. Fugaku and Mikoto would've arranged a marriage for Sasuke, and he wouldn't have objected to that. After all, Sasuke was pulling out all the stops in canon to make his father happy, and he was already extremely close with Mikoto and was well liked and respected by the rest of the clan so marrying someone his parents picked out for him is something Sasuke's definitely doing.

Let's also not forget that Sasuke's extraordinary on all fronts, in terms of beauty, skill, strength, talent, and prodigiousness, all of this, and his chakra volume and potency are through the fucking roof even the standards of his own clan. Sasuke's Sharingan is the most powerful and potent within the series since or after Indra’s which is insane as only Indra inherited his fathers chakra.

Orochimaru and Obito both knew and explicitly stated that Sasuke's Sharingan and chakra were more powerful than Itachi's. In canon, Sasuke was supposed to be THE vessel for Orochimaru, the last one he'd EVER need. Obito's entire Infinite Tsukuyomi plan hinged on utilizing Sasuke at EMS and connecting him to the Gedo Statue, something Nagato, Konan, Zetsu, and no doubt Kisame knew all to well. Kabuto knew this, too, and he himself had his own plans for Sasuke. He blackmailed and helped Obito fight a war for Sasuke, and that war was fought to see who between them could get to Sasuke first. Everyone wanted Sasuke for one reason or another, either for his looks (Sasuke's the most good-looking character in the series), his talents and skills, and abilities everything. Madara, Tobirama, Orochimaru, Obito, Zetsu, Gai, Jiraiya, Cee, Darui, Bee, Mei, Hagoromo, Kurama, Karin, Jugo, Suigetsu, Kabuto, Kakashi, Hiruzen, Neji, Tenten, Deidara, Nagato, Konan, Kisame, and Fugaku (when Sasuke performed their clans rite of passage jutsu at the age of 6 only a week after being shown it once) all of them to varying degrees were aware and dumbstruck by Sasuke's gifts and many of them wanted him.

Sasuke's skills with the sharingan, chakra, and Ninjutsu are beyond profound. He's genetically capable of awakening the EMS and the most unique rinnegan in Shinobi history.

In this alternate timeline, Sasuke's going to be trained to hell and back by not only Fugaku and everyone who he deems fit to train him. As he grows and matures Sasuke's parents and clan, ARE going to take notice of all of these aspects and gifts of his, and they're going to be especially picky about who his bride would be, as the next head of the Uchiha clan especially one like Sasuke with his looks, skills, talents, wealth, and prestige can't and won't marry just anyone especially without the consent of his parents and clan.

In this scenario, Sasuke's future wife would either be another Uchiha (the most logical conclusion) or someone else from another distinguished clan or bloodline. I see people mentioning Ino and Karin on this topic since their love for Sasuke while still being in part because of his beauty is still way more genuine than Sakura's. Karin was saved a few times by Sasuke, and he ultimately was the one who allowed to take control over her own future. She knew and understood Sasuke the most, and her relationship with Sasuke is the most erotic in canon.

Ino's love for Sasuke was described as tender by her father, and it was never about herself but how he brought her joy.

Frankly I don't object to either of them being with Sasuke, although I would like someone to help me understand how Ino from a bloodline perspective would be a good match for Sasuke as Karin is an Uzumaki and her clan has been around as long as the Uchiha so I can see why Fugaku and Mikoto would've accepted her as a future daughter-in-law, but Ino I feel like I'm missing something else or I'm just over thinking it in regards to her. Ino and Karin are also better individuals than Sakura and capable shinobi, their skills, abilities, and lives having nothing to do with Sasuke and instead being completely independent of him. Neither of them were pushy and respected Sasuke's boundaries to a better degree than Sakura.

This was a long-winded post, I know, but essentially, Sakura ain't ever hooking up with Sasuke at all, Fugaku and Mikoto ain't letting her anywhere near him.

Before I close this off, I want to ask anyone who reads this. Who else do you think Fugaku and Mikoto would've accepted as Sasuke's bride in the little what if I put above? Let me say I'm not a shipper, and like others, I find the Naruto fandom's obsession with shipping to be incredibly stupid and annoying. I am staunchly in the Pro Uchiha, Sasuke, Madara, Indra, Fugaku, and Mikoto camp, the Uchiha its members and lore, as well as the real world myths and lore used by Kishimoto to create them all capture me. But admittedly, I do agree with some people who agree that Karin and Ino would've been better partners, and that really had me thinking about who else Fugaku and the rest of the clan would've saw as fit to marry Sasuke and join the clan, so yeah I'm curious to know your thoughts and opinions on this topic as well, however, I do not agree with the Sasuke x Hinata ship, I want to shoot that down quickly, that shit ain't happening.

But again, this is a very long first post of mine on Tumblr, so yeah, thanks for reading.

[eunxhan]

❝ A kiss is the beginning of cannibalism. ❞

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Ꮺ Anon Requested ⨾ hii can u do a ticci toby x cannibalistic gn reader?

Ꮺ Eun Replies ⨾ Greetings! I apologize for the late response as i got more focused on working on my ocs — This is quite short compared to my other works but I do hope you'll like this one! I've searched on how cannibalism works just to make sure.

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Ꮺ Disclaimer — GORE!SUGGESTIVE! I do not condone this kind of behavior in real life situations.

Reader ⨾ CANNIBALISTIC!GN!READER. YOU/YOURS

Words used ⨾ 624 words 3,502 characters

Character ⨾ TOBIAS ERIN ROGERS (Ticci Toby)

Art credit ⨾ @/kousomii on tumblr

Links ⨾ My Navigation

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Toby felt a strange mix of fascination and horror when he first encountered you. You were out, eating the corpse he just sliced up. He couldn't help but wonder how you got into your current situation, what led you to become a cannibal, and how you were able to maintain the facade of being a normal, functioning member of society.

Toby sometimes feels tempted to try what you are eating, but he always stops himself from actually doing so. If you manage to have some influence on him or try to convince him, he'll do so.

So whenever he goes out to do his missions, if you were allowed to he would let you follow him to clean up his mess. If you weren't, he would come back with a bag full of the parts you prefer.

If you happen to have a biting habit, whether biting yourself or someone else. He's be fascinated by it as he also have a biting habit, he doesn't mind you biting him as he doesn't feel that much pain as long as you let him bite also. He just watch you bite him and look at the bite marks, just don't bite him when he's in a sour mood.

If you cook them, Toby is intrigued and impressed by your skills as a cook, especially if you have a talent for preparing human flesh in a way that's palatable and delicious. He enjoys the idea of sharing a meal with you that is both unique and delicious.

He may or may not say some jokes about you being a cannibal. Toby's sexual jokes about you are him comparing your appetite for human flesh to his imagined prowess in bed. He'll make crude remarks, such as "You're tearing through those organs like you'd rip through a woman's panties."

Toby's indifference towards your post-feast appearance is a direct reflection of his own descent into depravity. Once disgusted by the mere thought of cannibalism, leaving him numb to the grotesque reality surrounding him but who knows? He's also a killer.

He knows that he himself isn't much better, for he too has stained his hands with blood and consumed human flesh. His ambivalence towards your plight is a twisted acceptance of their shared fate, a grim acknowledgment that they have both become monsters in their own right.

For Toby, he just eats the people he chops for survival and if you happen to have a different reasoning Toby listens to your dissection of cannibalism with a mix of repulsion, curiosity, and a twisted sense of familiarity. The gruesome details of how your body processes the consumed flesh, the nutritional benefits, and the sensory experiences, all serve as a morbid testament to the transformation you have undergone.

As you delves into the biological aspects of cannibalism, Toby's mind can't help but conjure vivid images of digestion, the human body breaking down its victims in the most base and primal of ways.

With the knowledge of cannibalism fresh in his mind, Toby's approach to his missions takes on a new, more methodical quality. Instead of the wild, frenzied attacks that once characterized his hunts, Toby now dispatches his victims with a chilling efficiency.

With each slash of his blade, Toby is careful to target specific organs, his actions driven by the newfound knowledge of their nutritional value. He takes the time to slice off limbs, and as he does, he can't help but recall yout descriptions of the sensory experiences. A strange, twisted thrill courses through him as he works.

Once he's collected his bounty, Toby methodically collects the parts into one bag, taking care not to mix the organs with the flesh. You'll be eating with no problem in your mind.

•◦✦────•◦ᘡᘞ •◦────✦◦•◦•

Ꮺ ⨾ I DO NOT CONSENT TO MY WORK BEING COPIED OR TRANSLATED.

[running-with-kn1ves]

Hi! What do you think would happen if there was a disease that turned people into yanderes and the reader is immune? So she’s the only sane one, which everyone around her falls in love (romantically and platonically) and turns obsessive?

Hrmm I'd like to take a different approach to this than the original *yandere apocolypse* of which I was thinking. Just wrote down some odd thoughts for this one!

Perhaps two thirds of the world has been inflicted with this specific disease-- making this new population become violent, deranged and utterly--obsessively, in love.

There's the beginning stages of violence and death of course, causing a great chunk of the world to go mad as some yanderes who must share a darling cannot do so. Celebrities, idols, and your local barista who's friends with everyone in town, are constantly in a tug of war battle between their yanderes.

But life seems to somewhat settle down. Everyone still functions as they would in society-- going to the bank and paying their taxes, remaining at their 9 to 5 jobs. But there are far more murders, laws are no longer followed; the daytime has become just as dangerous as the night.

Our dear reader, a cashier for a chain grocery store, has so blessedly not been affected by this newfound disease. They know their residence in a large city and with a social job would not leave them unharmed by this new change to the world. So, they begin to attend support groups for 'darlings,' the victims and (mostly) sane population that has been left. At first the other victims were people they had never seen before, seemingly innocent and normal people who just wanted to go on with their lives. They all seemed to lead a much harder living, with their unending stalkers and vicious pursuers that made them sob for hours as everyone else listened to their woes.

Reader had yet to be targeted, of which offers them a sliver of relief-- until they fear perhaps they have been affected by the disease. But their life continues, without any impulse or desire to snatch anyone up, and without any stalkers or murderers on their trail. Life is almost, weirdly, normal.

They don't watch the news anymore, they go home before it gets dark, and refuse to take any extra shifts with anyone who's been affected by the outbreak. They continue to go to the meetings, out of solidarity and precaution in case they begin to hear footsteps behind them when walking from home or find eyes peeping behind their curtains. However, the support group seemed to have slowly begun to change. Its regular members were beginning to dwindle, less and less showing up regularly. And, there seemed to be an addition of.... hostility, amongst the newer members.

The support group "leader", a man who has thrown reader off since day one, seemed to be far more invested in hearing their experiences with these "attackers" as he called them. As was everyone else, of which were slowly becoming vaguely familiar faces. Not familiar enough to mention it, but to the point where it was beginning to get eerie.

It wasn't until they went to their next shift for work, did they realize why everyone seemed so odd. Customer after customer came up, all purchasing odds and ends that could be suspicious if one paid close enough attention. But all that reader could focus on, was how the eyes of each person seemed to linger upon them, taking notice of their loose work shirt and unkempt hair. It was a common sound to hear heavy breathing from the other side of the counter, odd compliments on how beautiful their eyes were, or deafening silence from customers that didn't utter a word but stared in complete captivity. The next support group meeting, those nameless faces seemed to be far more recognizable. At this point, the original members of which reader had originally met, were nowehere to be found. All that remained, were the uncomfortably familiar customers, and the oddly charismatic leader.

Every eye seemed to be on them, each waiting for them to speak on their experience. But despite the creepy, lustful gazes and hateful glares at one another, there was some form of supportiveness that came from the group. They gave reassuring pats and squeezes, some getting a little handsier than others.

There were a few that reader recognized more than others: the silent, dark haired man that came to their register everyday, the businesswoman who always seemed to loosen her scowl once she saw them, and the couple who seemed a tad more than "friendly." Out of all of them though, reader felt the most reassurance from the group leader-- the man who seemed to dote on them like a parent would, though there was still fear over his constantly nagging questions and downward stare behind his glasses.

It was once reader decided to stop showing up to the increasingly more recent group sessions, did things start to turn sideways. There would constantly be a knock at the door, asking why they weren't there, if something was wrong, if a stalker had gotten to them. But it wasnt until recently did they feel they were being watched, followed, stalked.

Things started to go missing, from their favorite pair of underwear to little knickknacks kept on their desk. Reader had never felt the effects of the disease and its victims, but ever since the uncomfortable shift in the support group, life hadn't been the same.

One fateful afternoon, there came another series of knocks. Reader couldn't take it anymore, and had long given up on answering the door. The knocking continued, however. Thered be a pause, a moment of hesitation, before the pounding began again. Muffled voices could be heard outside readers front door, and suddenly there grew a great fear in their chest.

Not long after, the knocking seemed to occur in other areas around the house. The backdoor echoed as glass was banged on, the windows of their bedroom seemingly pressured by fists that begged to be let in. Their name was called from outside, small and booming voices all begging to be let in, promising that they were only there to help.

Reader covered their ears, crawling under the blankets and rocking themselves to the hope that the noise would go away. And eventually, It did-- only to be replaced with the sound of shattering glass and rushed footsteps.

[bokutosmochi]

kinktober day four: public sex!

BETTER THAN ICE CREAM ♡ GETO SUGURU

fem!reader x geto suguru

ingredients: somehow, someway geto manages to coax you into having some fun with him in public

what's it: smut

allergen warning/s: public sex, fingering, mentions of geto x reader x gojo, reader is principal yaga's adoptive daughter because her blood parents threw her away, dubcon (just to be safe!)

sugar level: 2.4k

regulars: @ventdavi154 @deobiforever @sugusshi @angelshub

parlor's note: hello, hi, i am suffering from geto suguru brainrot, if you couldn't tell.

bon appetit!

depending on who you asked, you either had good or bad luck. your cursed technique manifested at an abnormally early age, six months old, and on top of that, you were born to a non-sorcerer family who thought to themselves "what else are we supposed to do when our child has some supernatural ability that no one can explain?" so they abandoned you. they wrapped you in, bless them, the softest cotton blankets in the house, laid you in a cardboard box, then threw you away.

thankfully for you, though they had no idea where they dropped you off of, it was in front of tokyo jujutsu tech.

it was a hot spring day when yaga masamichi found you. he just came back from a mission in shibuya, taking solace in the school when he heard a loud wailing noise from somewhere off campus. he could recognize it was a baby, but he just assumed that the cries was because of a more normal situation so he felt no need to intervene.

he trained some more, rested some more, all the while ignoring the sounds of weeping from outside. he forced himself to not pay attention to it "the kid's parents probably have it under control. don't stick your nose in other people's business." until he couldn't anymore.

you've been crying for too long, there was definitely something seriously wrong.

he walked out of the training room, jogging to where the sound came from with more than twenty questions in his head, and that's when he found you. all of a sudden, those twenty questions in his head multiplied. he could sense the cursed energy that you exerted, how old were you? and more important than that, where were your parents?

he took you to the police after that, not quite knowing what the proper thing to do in that situation was. they tracked your parents down, only to deliver the news that they didn't want you, again, bless their heart, they didn't tell the officers the real reason why they didn't want you, instead lying and saying it was because they couldn't support you financially. after all, they did still love you. there was just too much fear in their hearts about what you are. they took the legal action against them, and left yaga two choices: he could either surrender you to the adoption system, or take you in as his own.

he was only twenty years old at the time, not at all mature enough to be a father, but at the same time, he had no idea what would happen to you if you were put into the adoption centers. you could potentially hurt someone without meaning to, and they would hurt you. they would have no idea how to properly take care of you, given the fact that they don't even know about your atypical condition. so he decided to adopt you right then and there.

being his daughter meant you were more advanced than most of your classmates. your cursed technique manifested earlier than theirs did, and your father had a knack for teaching. it also meant that he was a lot stricter than most parents, making you "less fun", as some people would say it. he brought you up as a well-functioning member of society, and your sometimes friend, sometimes pain in the ass gojo satoru would put it, "a goodie-two-shoes."

you don't mind it now. no matter what they said, or how they viewed your hobbies, you still had a lot of fun doing the things that you love, even though it might come across as boring to them.

living the sorcerer life was enough excitement and adrenaline anyway.

as jujutsu sorcerers, you barely got any moments of peace. the fight and blood and, inevitably, death, was a part of your everyday life since you were a child.

it was only in moments like this where you're able to get some semblance of the peace you will never get.

it's six in the morning, the sun is up in the sky to rain golden sunshine on you and your boyfriend, suguru. it was unusually quiet, and you blamed it on the time. it was a saturday, and you knew that most people wouldn't be out and about until three more hours. not you and suguru. he insisted on going on a small walk, and while you contemplated about rejecting his proposition, you thought about how jujutsu sorcerers' life spans are shorter than the average human being's and agreed, wanting to spend as much time with him as you can.

the birds chirp happily above you, while cherry blossoms fall all around you, the vibrant green leaves on the surrounding trees sway lightly in the wind and everything looks picture perfect, including you and suguru, holding an ice cream cone each.

was it too early for ice cream? probably. did either of you care? not really.

you deserved the treat.

"let's sit." suguru said for the first time in a while. earlier, he felt no need to fill the comfortable silence between the two of you. the way his hands, so powerful and strong, softly held yours and the way his eyes, so intense and passionate looked into yours said more than a thousand words could ever hope to do.

you plopped down as close to him as you could get on the bench, winding your arms together while you laid your head against his shoulder.

neither of you said nor did anything, just enjoying the atmosphere silently, sometimes humming the melody of a song stuck in your head before it fades away into the cold air. that was until a stripe of your ice cream drips down the cone and onto your bare lap.

in an action that suguru would describe as helpful, and nothing but demure, he runs a finger through he sticky liquid and sticks the digit into his mouth, sucking it off. "mmm, that's good ice cream." he murmured, as if frightened that if he were to talk any louder, he would shatter this moment into piles of sugar glass and he'd find himself in the heat of battle, with people who are not his priority crying out for him and his grace.

"let me taste some more."

there was no more ice cream trails on your lap, so that statement in and of itself should have already warned you that geto suguru was up to no good. your second warning came in the form of him complimenting the short tennis skirt you wore that day. "have i told you how much i love this pretty skirt of yours?"

"s-suguru, not here."

two of his fingers, his index and middle caressed further up your thigh making your breath hitch in your throat and eyes to flutter shut. "lemme just make sure i got all the ice cream, alright princess?" he puts his fingers on his tongue again. "no ice cream here."

"fuck, sug'"

"how about over here?" at this point, his large hand is under your skirt, grabbing at the fat and muscle. the motion makes your stomach churn in a familiar way and you close your eyes tighter. one of your hands grab onto his bicep and grips.

it's embarrassing how you were already so worked up, but suguru just knew you like the back of his hand. he knew how to make you bend and break to his control and he loved it.

his fingers trace indiscernible patterns on your inner thigh, so close to where you needed him, but still, you were out in the open, in a park that's frequented by people of all ages.

with your other hand, you held onto his. "suguru, not here." your head's fogged up as you say the words that deny you of pleasure. you would've loved to let him have his way with you, but not here. sure, there weren't a lot of people yet, it's just a matter of time, though. in a few more minutes, you're certain that people will come strolling through one by one until the park's in full swing.

"it's just us here, baby. you don't have to worry your pretty little head."

you have no idea what happened to his ice cream. you don't even have a smidgen of an idea what happened to yours. one second, it was in your hand, the next, what you were holding was suguru's hand.

"we're going to get caught." you try to say confidently, but your shaky resolve shows in your equally shaky voice. your hand wasn't holding its own anymore, instead, letting suguru do whatever he desires, with it a ghost on top of his. "no we won't. i promise, kay?" you feel him press a kiss to the top of your head and that makes it harder to resist than before -- and suguru's hands on you was already hard to resist in the first place; he's never broken a promise before.

he runs his warm hand over your clothed cunt sending shivers down your spine and making you clench around nothing. "d'you really think i'll let someone else see you like this?"

you swore you wanted to answer yes. he's done it before; share you. one of his filthiest fantasies was to have you and satoru at the same time and you had no problem giving him that, because that was private, confined to the four walls of your bedroom and wherever satoru runs his mouth, but the man shuts up quickly when suguru shoots him that look.

you weren't able to say anything to suguru's rhetorical question. the bastard started to rub your clit with back and forth motions with his finger before you were able to get a letter out.

it was so unfair.

you couldn't see him. though your fighting spirit was more or less nothing but a heap of quickly melting ice cream on the grass, it'd weaken even more if you were to glance up at him. he'd shoot you a half lidded look he knows always works and you'd be wrapped around his finger in no time. it was like continuing to taunt the opponent when they already have the sword to your throat; a loss, but a determination through it. you weren't willing to admit it to yourself even if you already knew it in the back of your mind.

"there's no one here, kay, sweet girl? you've been working so hard lately, lemme spoil you a bit." you recognize the way he drew hearts on your clit before running it down your slit and back up again. "you're always so tight." he chuckled. "in more ways than one. you should loosen up a bit, hmm?"

you could feel the wetness pooling in your panties, the urge to moan out his name, but if you were gonna do this, you could at the very least stay quiet, so you gave him a nod, a signal that you were answering in the affirmative.

"ah, ah, ah," he breathed out right next to your ear. his finger on you slowed down to a cruel, teasing pace, just putting enough pressure to have you lowly mewling at his side, but not enough to give you proper satisfaction. his words was just as teasing "i wanna hear words."

you gritted your teeth, both in annoyance and focus so you wouldn't end up moaning instead. "f-fuck you, suguru."

his chest vibrated as he laughed heartily, shaking you with it. "that's not a stop or a keep touching me, suguru." he punctuated the sentence with a soft pinch to your clit through the fabric making you yelp and your upper body to hunch forward.

your reaction only made him laugh harder.

as each second passes, your brain gets foggier and foggier. it was harder to speak now than it was seconds ago; harder for your head to think of the words that'll grant you pleasure, and harder for your mouth to cooperate with your head. your hips had a mind of its own now, mindlessly grinding against his hand, spreading the wetness that have already seeped through your skirt all over the park bench.

"k-keep touching me, suguru, fuck, pl-please." you panted.

thankfully, with those six words, suguru decided to grant you mercy.

his fingers slipped under your panties, and went straight on your clit, making you go limp against the bench and your boyfriend's side.

"there you go, sweet girl." he murmured softly, gazing at the look on your face; your eyes closed in utter bliss, though scrunched up at the corners - it crumpled deeper in time with your thighs twitching - your mouth in a relaxed O, only to close whenever you gulped. "just relax onto me, yeah?"

it didn't take much more for you to get close. after all, the knot in your abdomen has been coiling since the moment he first put his hands on you.

suguru knew that too; knew you wouldn't last much longer if he continued to touch you like that.

the last straw was when he nudged the hood of your clit with his index finger while his middle and ring continued to thrust in and out of your wet cunt.

you came harder than you have in a long time. you don't know what exactly it was that made it so, whether it was the excitement of being in public, or whether it was the edging, but whatever it is, to some extent, you're glad it's there.

you saw bright white flashes behind your eyelids, and miraculously, you were able to keep quiet - at least as quiet as you can be - biting your lip as you came.

you were busy gathering yourself when suguru spoke again. "hmm, this may not be ice cream but it's just as delicious." when you meet his eyes with a glare, he smiles his crescent moon eyed smile at you. "actually, i think i prefer this one over the ice cream." he finished licking your arousal from his fingers.

"you know you're gonna pay for this, right?" you quirked an eyebrow at him, arms crossed on your chest. it didn't intimidate him one bit though. "sure thing, sweetheart. i'll be looking forward to it."

i get: reblog

you get: finger lickin good ice cream

[techramonic]

Anger is Humanity: An Analysis on Andre Kriegman

Disclaimer: This analysis is limited only to commentary and analysis as a means to reflect and understand the characters and the internal and external factors that affect their decisions and actions, this is true rationality. Just like all of my posts, I am detached from the media I write about and solely focus on the characters to understand their backgrounds and psychology, for others to gain insight. There is no room for me to romanticize anything I write because I am only here to explain in my understanding. Thank you.

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.

There are five stages of grief—yet some find themselves perpetually stuck and fixated on the second. It is a never-ending loop due to the fear of experiencing discomfort once the light is found; it is the fear of change, the bargaining of reality, the depression in the recurrence, and the acceptance that misfortune runs in your veins. One is not born with misfortune but rather handed with it.

THE SUPEREGO. A concept based on the Freudian principles of psychoanalysis, which generally develops through the internalization of values and norms given by primary groups (family and society). If members of these groups are either overly strict and abusive or lacking guidance, poor superego is molded. The superego controls the id's basic desires by using the ego, relying on internalized moral ideals. If the superego is underdeveloped, then there is an impairment in moral reasoning and the ability to distinguish what is morally just and unjust.  Furthermore, factors such as abusive environments also play a role in hindering normal superego development. Negative consequences are also brought by exposure to violence or alienation.

With this, we view Andre Kriegman in a new light. 

His behavior might be the result of an imbalance where his id's destructive desires aren't properly controlled by a strong superego. Freud has also noted various defense mechanisms the ego uses to handle conflicts between the id, superego, and external reality. If Andre's superego isn't functioning well, he might depend on unhealthy defense mechanisms like projection and blaming others for his indecent thoughts or rationalization by justifying his harmful behavior with logical reasoning.

Anger does not come from evil, but it comes from the mistreatment you receive.

It is the pain inflicted on you, the misfortune that leads you to believe that there is no possibility of ever finding the room to grow and move on. The reason why Andre is so fixated on hatred and anger is that it is a defense mechanism born out of the tragic reality that he has been and is hurt. It is the trauma response that begs to cling on you because you fear that in change, more misfortune will arise.

Anger—that is Andre Kriegman. In a world where you have constantly been alienated, you feel less human. You are not perceived, therefore, you do not exist. You are stripped away from whatever humanity you have, because to be a human, you must exist. You are a mere entity, an omnipresent being that is everywhere yet nowhere, all at once. Forced to watch a crowd interact, fearing and knowing you are so easy to be disregarded. You try to imitate them when interacting to be deemed more human, yet alas, all subside suddenly when you are deemed as a deviant. You are isolated, believed to be nothing, and therefore, gone. 

Anger sprouts from injustice. This is the rationality in anger—even how disproportionate it feels, like how Andre feels his anger. It is rooted in the lack of good treatment. The hate you feel is disproportionate as if your body begs to regurgitate all the hate you have and project it to anyone else—your family, your peers, and even yourself. You have this strong want to let others feel the pain you feel and bear, simply because this is the part of you that yearns and begs to be seen. To be understood, to be empathized with, to feel human, to be human.

To be treated as you should've been treated—well.

Anger is human. It is a part of humanity itself. Yet, as true as it can be, you can never heal with the same thing that caused it. Pain does not heal pain and anger does not heal anger, that is reality.

Andre Kriegman is anger, he is a reflection of humanity itself and the humanity he was shown. Humanity is anger.