#how do I even tag this this was a brainfart I had

[curoopeez]

Dream: so yeah all this time I've spent on prision when I'm alone with my thoughts made me realise I'm actually trans, but I haven't picked a new name yet

Techno: oh, well thanks for tel... wait a second... all the prision documents cite "Dream" as the prisioner. If you legally change your name, Sam might let us out

Dream: ...

Dream: it can't be that easy

Later that day Awesamdude: Technoblade and Girldream, you are free to go

Girldream: ...

Technoblade: ...

Awesamdude: also here is some estrogen as a courtesy. If you're looking for someone to do gender affirming surgery, I know a guy. He's not practising because I chopped his hand off, but he could recommend you another doctor

[navsink]

to be gentle is a choice. | sukuna x sorcerer reader !

A/N: so brainfart moment!! im sure someone else will make this way better than i can but just for now hold on w me on this spontaneous moment of what ifs. im willing to challenge myself by making me write everything from sukuna's pov, yay me, nay brain! it's not gonna be cannon compliant tho, im shit at remembering lore.

tags: angst, lying, swearing, slightly suggestive, sukuna is a red flag by itself, guillible reader, sukuna pov, sukuna is bad at feelings, possesive behavior (?), unreliable narrator, tba.

wc: 536 words 2,882 characters

--

April 5th, 2016

How long has it been? Around ten-ish months since I've met her, that's a long time. A dragged out and long time since I have been lying to her. Since when do I care about lying? The thousand year old king of curses, turning into a mushy and limp sugar cube for some woman. It's not any woman in my defense, but it's still so annoying. Ever since we met I can't believe how easily I feel myself start to hover over her like some protective canine.

The longer I'm with her the more I dig myself deeper, a side of me is regretful, yet the other is enjoying it in the most deceitful way possible. It's no surprise to anyone that I'm so selfish, especially when it comes to her. Are these feelings normal?

I feel like I want to strangle her everytime she pouts, when she turns over her shoulder and the corners of her mouth drag out to form that chesire smilel that lures me into those glistening eyes.

How is it that the thing I hated the most- sorcerers, has me reconsidering my whole gig of taking over the world and killing sorcerers yada yada.

i think i might... love her

Humans are fragile beings, especially with how easily I can just press them against my index and thumb like a pesky diminute ant. If you ask me personally what humans mean to me, I'll answer honestly.

I hate them. Whiny. Powerless. Weak. Narsiscistic. and overall pesky little shits.

but.

if she were to ask me. God. I'd fold over and have my hand reach to her cheek, caressing it in the most gentle way possible, afraid of the fragility and ephemeral nature of the human species she's sadly a part of. I would've begrudgingly answered "Humans are complex to even have a general opinion on, but if I were to generalize them, I think they're evanescent and self servient. Yet you, transcend my definition, because to me, you're the most kind, precious of incalculable worth, piece of being to ever exist."

To which you of course, had to ask in one of the most vulnerable moments of mine. Giggling and peppering gentle kisses across my forehead like some weakling, not taking anything I say seriously per tradition. You're definitely not the obedient type, Uraume was horrorstruck when I mentioned every incident of tardiness, teasing, disrespectful banter and so on.

God that Uraume, she doesn't get you like I do, it makes me kind of euphoricly selfish. to be the only one who can understand you like this, the one who gets to hear you rant about the measly curses you're facing at the tech, or even hearing you heave my name when you're dry humping my lap.

tell me, my dear and lovely "girlfriend", would you also speak about me like this when I'm not around? would you love me still be here if you knew? even if im your biggest enemy? a menace to your kind? would all your friends try to seal me if they knew?

would you love me all the same when I'm the most cursed yet the most blessed when I'm with you?

...

Pg. 1 of Sukuna's Diary.

---

Shall we continue this as a series?

[applesap-fics]

❔ Whichever WIP you most want to talk about

❔Choose a random WIP and talk about it.

I NEED TO WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER OF YOUR WORDS UNSPOKEN!!!!!

This fic was such a brainfart when I first started writing it. Super freehand without a plot in mind except for the little ideas that randomly sprang up. I feel like I can't write this fic without first having more of these little scenes in my mind that'll spring forth into plot into a conclusion.

Chapter three is a mix of Bruno having a bit more explicit fun sex with more men, fluffy family moments (yeah I know they call me crazy for that one), and Bruno's exploration of...what it means for him to have all this fun smex with guys that he doesn't actually have a relationship with outside of the bedroom. Also he's turned from a shunned prophet into a poor little meow meow back to the family into the Encanto's most openly gay man. Weird dynamics all of the sudden!

I ALSO need to introduce a bit of kink/sex exploration, because so far the sex has been 1. kinda glossed over or 2. not good. And I reeeeaaaallly want Bruno to be kind of...I don't know how to describe it. He needs to be a crossdresser more often cos I promised that in the tags, I promised it to myself, and I promised it when I made Felix walk in on him with his telenovela-thinking wig on that one morning after. He will do drag at some point, I promise. I'll make it make sense even if it's the last thing I'll do in my life.

I guess I need to just take it easy with all of that. Chapter 3 can be relationship feelings and chapter 4 can be all about the theater.

AND ALSO!!!!!! The original draft had a big timeskip where he already had a few boyfriends and he started oggling a much less approachable newcomer (Oscar!! who is mute in this au), but it feeling totally different from his hookups because he actually feels romantic for this guy. But the intro doesn't work anymore for that which for some reason makes my brain want to explode. I hate that I have to think about the timeline too much.

Writing feels very up and down for me and the ~vibes~ don't really hit atm. I do love talking about it though and I guess I spewed all of this while listening to Weird Al's crazy ramblings in Alburquerque, so maybe all I need is to not think about the words im putting down AT ALL and just. Freewrite like I did back in april 2022, and burst out 8k over the weekend.

Also. Earring-haver Bruno will happen next chapter.

[ssr-moonlore]

In Depth Profile of Gretz

This is going to go VERY deep and very much into Main Story Quest Spoiler Territory so I’m gonna put the unnecessary stuff under a read more.

Full name: Unknown, She hasn’t given out that information. Race: Erune, techincally a Revenant. Elemental Attunement: Water Occupation: Captain of the Grandcypher, Mage, but can probably beat most people in a sword fight. Charge Attack names: Originally “Lainetav Meri” then becomes “Vaikne Ookean” Parents: Both parents are Erune, Father is from Zinkenstill, Mother from Lumacie. Mother died at giving birth, father is currently in Estalucia. Siblings: Twin sister, deceased.

Aaaand the rest can go into a Read More because this is where things go very detailed and I’m not gonna clog the tag with my ramblings! This is basically her backstory, and parts of the MSQ retold to fit Gretz

I’m gonna warn you all now that this is a brainfart and probably badly written because there’s like... facts and story and it’s all written like a mess, but hopefully explains enough.

So... I suppose the story should start from the beginning. Gretz’s father was an incredible mage and the leader of his own skyfarer crew, and he started young, younger than Gretz when she began her journey. Somewhere along the way, Gretz’s father met Margrite, a rather plain Erune woman from Lumacie. The two fell in love but her father kept the relationship a secret. Before long, Margrite found out she was pregnant, and out of the blue, Gretz’s father disbanded his crew and hid with Margrite and wanted to simply start a family with her.

Things went horribly wrong, however, when both Margrite and one of the twins perished during birth. The circumstances were strange, they simply started failing, and even though Gretz’s father was very well versed with healing magic, to the point where he could bring someone back from the bring and regrow their limbs... his magic didn’t catch. Nothing he, or any of the other healers did could save Gretz’s mother or twin. Margrite’s soul was beyond saving, but a little sliver of the dead twin’s essence was still there, and the father managed to grab onto it. 

Gretz’s father stayed with Margrite’s family for a while, until his guilt got overbearing, and he decided to go back home, to his mother’s home. Things were quite relaxed for many years, Gretz grew up strong, and wasn’t really bothered by the fact that she didn’t have a mother. Her dad never mentioned the twin.

He taught her magic, and passed down his ability to cast magic without any arcane instruments, but instructed Gretz to never show that ability to anyone. She never truly understood why this type of magic had to be kept secret, but she played along.

When she was 8, her father’s crew had tracked him down, and much to his dismay, they were incredibly angry and wanted him to get back into skyfaring. Gretz was instructed to hide, her presence was to be kept a secret from the crew, who would otherwise want her to join was well, given that she was HIS daughter, and probably inherited his powers. So Gretz hid. She hid until her grandmother came to fetch her and Vyrn, and so Gretz was left without her father. The little girl was left grief stricken, being only told that she will find something very important when she was ready. 

So she stayed there on Zinkenstill until at the age of 21, she saw the girl with the blue hair falling from the sky, and her fate was sealed. She valiantly defended this strange girl, only to be struck down by a hydra. In the process her soul tied with Lyria’s, but another entity was brought into the mix. A terrifying fighter spirit with an opposing power to Gretz’s, the ability to void magic utterly. Gretz would not find out about this other spirit until much later, when stakes would grow bigger and lives were endangered more, but until then, she, Vyrn, Lyria and Kat went on to create a skyfarer crew. 

Most of the story follows the main story quest, bar for a few differences, most notably, when Not Gretz appears. She’d appear any time when Lyria would be sure to get hurt, other times when things seem hopeless for Gretz. Her body remained the same but the aura surrounding the Erune was different, cold, devoid of joy. Her mannerism was harsh, sarcastic, almost evil. Most of the time, the crew would spare any people who got in their way, opting to convince them to take a better walk of life, but not this person. With impossible precision and immense power and speed, a jagged spear would cut down all who dared to harm the Red Dragon or the Girl in Blue, or even the vessel herself. These “possessions” were short, but left Gretz a mess for several days. The scar on her stomach that almost ripped her in half that would never fade no matter how hard she tried to get rid of it would tear open, crippling her. They would all inevitably heal, but it seemed that whatever shared Gretz’s body had a vendetta against her and wanted to make it obvious to everyone. 

As the crew land on Lumacie, they take on a job to clear out an old cemetery that’d been overrun, and Gretz comes across a very familiar name. That leads to her getting a little hint to her other grandparents, and she tracks them down. The old pair receive her warmly, shocked at how much she looks like her father but having her mother’s eyes, never saying anything bad about her father and that her mother’s death was just an unfortunate situation but wasn’t anyone’s fault. Gretz then keeps regular correspondence with her mother’s parents, and is happy to have found more family.

The next most important event happens after the crew flees Lumacie following their defeat at the hands of a corrupted Yggdrasil. They go to Zinkenstill, where they find that Gretz’s paternal grandmother had passed, leaving her shaken to the core. The crew presses on though, determined to save the islands from the Empire. At the shrine, Vyrn falters, prompting Sturm to raise her weapons at him, only to be swiftly swatted to the side violently by a powerful black spear. Not Gretz takes on the agent duo, her antimagic nature completely cripping Drang and pinning Sturm against a tree with her own swords, though not killing them outright, as “it would interfere with The Other too much.”  Before having the shit utterly beaten out of him, Drang did manage to find out who the spirit was, though only cryptically being told that she was “the one who never made it.”

The assault was cut short as Furias’ invasion of the island was deemed far more interesting a fight for the entity. The invasion didn’t last, and soon everyone would return to the ship for a rest, Not Gretz relinquishing control of the body back to Gretz just so she could see the injured Drang and Sturm drag themselves back onto the ship. Needless to say, Gretz, feeling like a monster, attempted to hide from shame, only to pass out from her stomach being ripped open again.

The healers all scrambled to get her back whole again, and no major injuries except for Gretz’s pride. The following morning, before the sun would crest the mountains, she managed to drag herself out of her bedroom, and tip toed off the ship, silently, not telling anyone. Vyrn, however, seemed to know something was off and found her, weeping at her grandmother’s grave, and suggested that the two go and do a favourite early morning passtime of theirs. The two quietly went onto a hill, and Gretz began to call out. Her voice sorrowful, but the echo in the mountains beautiful, and after a moment they’d hear the typical clanging of cow bells as the herd ran over to inspect the calls.

The two of them were followed by another pair. By Drang’s suggestion, he and Sturm followed the captain to see what she’d do, ghosting around like that, all mysterious. It didn’t take long for Gretz to notice, and in her weakened state, she became petrified and convinced the two would want revenge. A little slip on the wet dewy grass left her tumbling off a steep hill and straight into a fencepost and she felt a bit too weak and in pain to do anything so she simply curled up and started to weep. Drang and Sturm, both taken aback at this display of vulnerability rush up to her and Drang offers a little healing to close up the cut on her forehead, Sturm simply propping her up. Gretz, confused and scared simply starts rambling about how she thought they’d kill her. The agents shook their heads and deny that being their goal, though Drang wants to know more about the entity in her. 

Upon hearing the phrase that the entity is the one who “didn’t make it” Gretz realized that the entity could be none other than her deceased twin, though she then became even more confused as to how her twin who died at birth would have those abilities. One question answered, 10 more now taking it’s place. 

After cleaning herself up a bit, Gretz spots a strange glint in the distance, in the middle of the field. Squinting at it, she spots a familiar relic, her father’s staff. Though weak, and hurting, and confused, her legs simply begin to move and she recovers the staff. The stone in the middle shining just as bright at she remembered it. 

The 4 return to the ship, where the rest of the crew is restless and panicking looking for their captain. Relieved to find her unharmed, the crew quiets down, though Gretz now has a new resolve to go and save Yggdrasil, so after Vyrn releases whatever the hell was in the shrine, the crew goes to face the menace. 

During that fight, it seems quite hopeless but Gretz manages to unleash magic to a crazy amount. Her innate spellcasting meant that she didn’t need tools to cast magic, but she remembers that she can siphon magic in from other sources than just herself. After basically destroying several staves and tools by sucking out all the magic and basically almost turning herself into a being of pure mana, she manages to get a hit strong enough to defeat Yggdrasil, but then immediately gets slammed full force into a rock cliff by one of the snake tentacles. Her spell took away all noise in the area and the sickening crack of her body hitting the rock face was more than enough to make the whole crew imagine the worst. 

Luckily, being made of pure magic meant that in that state her body was basically unable to die from injuries, though she immediately requested help to fix her numerous broken bones. Lyria was NOT allowed to see the body. Everyone else still has nightmares.

After that... The crew follows the main story aside from a few minor differences, but Gretz accepts the whole “Singularity” business pretty well but then realizes that she really DID cause the deaths of her mother and sister.  Lyria manages to pacify the spirit, and Emmeliine is given an official position in the crew, and Gretz no longer gets torn up every time a possession takes place. The crew are looking into getting a golem made for Emmeliine so she and gretz can exist in the physical realm at the same time. Em is still very spicy and mean, but no longer AS murderous. She’s still able to beat the shit out of the crew.

I hope??? These ramblings make sense?? I wanted to make a comic of this but my hand  hurts and in fic format it’d take too long.

Yes my self-insert is a fucking Mary Sue with Deep Issues and a Dead Twin Ghost Spirit whatcha gonna do about it.

[chinesegal]

An open letter to an asshole

“”Barely a day ago I came across the smoldering heap of garbage known as the article “ You Dress Up For Farmageddon “. It was posted on a blog known as dan-mindless. Dan the mindless militant moroni radveeg is apparently veeeeeeeeeeeeeryyyy angry that an ex-vegetarian woman named Jenna Woginrich has decided to become a farmer, so much that he has decided to write his reactionary brainfarts on the internet for all to see. Unluckily for him, I will mock every thing he says and prove that his mind truly is as empty as his name suggests.

Lets begin.

“ You probably thought that Melanie Phillips wrote the most aggravating newspaper article recently, and, yeah, she did. But Jenna Woginrich's article, which was brought to my attention when Michael Legge got angry about it on his blog, is the one that has sparked genuine human emotion in me.”

Human emotions? Sure, asshole. Anyway, both you and your big idol Legge are pretentious militant vegan twats I usually ignore, I’m just gonna say that.

“ Woginrich stopped being vegetarian because she loves animals. "Don't you mean started being a vegetarian?" I hear you ask. Nope. "Don't you mean because she hates animals?" You continue. Nope. She loves animals so much, that not only did she start eating them again, but she farms them herself. “

Dude, (or woman or enby, I don’t care) you are saying that if you eat meat, you hate animals. That is the most infuriatingly idiotic statement I have seen in a long time. Also, Jenna realized that her problem with meat was because of how the animal was raised, not that it had to die. That might be an opinion you strongly disagree with, but I don’t.

“ I get irrationally angry when I hear this fashionable, middle-class claim that battery farming is an infringement of the rights of animals, so people should only buy free range products. If you are going to give animals rights, give them the right to life. Otherwise whats the point? I know it is better for animals to be farmed uncaged, of course it is, but either way they're going to get eaten.”

Irrational is practically your middle name, fucker. As queen of the evil beef-devouring bloodmouths I dub thee sir Dan-irrational-maggothead-fuckwit Mindless. 

But anyway, let’s get this straight: Trying to improve welfare standards for animal agriculture, an industry that won’t go away anytime soon is “fashionable” and “middle-class” but assuming that every single human on the planet can go vegan or vegetarian is not? And no vegan or vegetarian is rich and middle-class? 

“ In a way I have more time for people who say animals have no rights at all. At least they're consistent. Unlike this claim that animals should have some rights, but not the biggie. It's as if the likes of Woginrich don't actually care about animals at all. I'm not saying they just do the free range thing because its The Guardian-friendly and generally groovy, without any genuine concern for animals at all. Oh wait, yes I am, that's exactly what I'm saying. “

Dear sir Fuckwit, there is NOTHING inconsistent about wanting higher welfare standards instead of envisioning a completely vegan world. And you don’t know Woginrich or her feelings about animals. Who in the seven hells and heavens would actually become a farmer, something that takes a lot of skill, preparation and hard work just for attention?

“ Woginrich's article is also infuriating because it contains bizarre phrases that make no fucking sense, such as:For me, it took a return to carnivory to live out the ideals of vegetarianism. Food is a complicated religion. Let's consider that for a second. I'll ignore the phrase "Food is a complicated religion" because it seems that's what she did as she wrote it. She claims that she returned to carnivory in order to fulfil "the ideals of vegetarianism." Now I'm no expert, I'm fairly new to vegetarianism, but I think, I think, the ideals of vegetarianism involve not eating meat. And, again I may be wrong, but I think carnivory involves eating meat. So she eats meat in order to live the life of not eating meat. “

Actually, Woginrich has explained before that she realized her vegetarian diet was far from cruelty-free. Therefore she decided to open up a homestead and grow much of her own food which believe it or not, causes less harm than both the diets of most practising scavengers AND vegans. 

“ This sense of smug self-satisfaction that oozes out of Woginrich's article is sickening. She, like all the rich, middle-class people who sanctimoniously advocate free range produce as a great kindness to animals, looks down her nose at the people who can't afford free range and organic food, and also at vegetarians, the people who unlike her, genuinely give a shit about animals. “

The “smug self-satisfaction” you are preaching about wouldn’t even be a drop in a swimming pool compared to your holier-than-thou ass, mr Fuckwit. 

Also, a militant vegan calling someone “sanctimonious” literally gave me brain cancer from the lack of self-awareness. And oh, “rich, middle-class”? Women who are ranchers only make around 35000 dollars a year, maggotbrain. And lastly, I, an evil bloodmouth looks down my pinocchio-sized nose from the top of mount Everest on militant radveegs like you who honestly believe that anyone who doesn’t live your lifestyles is a disney villain. Really, all the people I have known who are closest to nature AND amazing people I’m gonna tag at the end of this aren’t yuppie radveegs in 3-story condos but hunters, trappers and general animal-welfarists.

“ Woginrich has confused the notion of caring about animals with the notion of being a big cunt. She runs her own farm, and I think it takes a certain kind of person to personally kill an animal. Most meat eaters would probably feel uneasy about actually killing an animal themselves, and anyone who actually cares about animals in the slightest would never kill an animal, unless they were a vet or the animal was clearly suffering. To actually personally kill an animal to eat it takes someone with no care for animals.”

“Cunt”? Don’t say that you are a misogynist too, mr Mindless. Why do I get the feeling that you would be the kind of person to harass women online?

You called every single farmer on the planet a psychopath, wow. Tell that to my mother. You see, she was raised by her mother and father, my maternal grandparents to be precise. Both of them grew up in rural China and learned to butcher animals from an early age. Despite living in a country with a long history of religious vegetarianism. But my mother and every family member I know knew him as a caring, compassionate man who made sure his daughter had everything she needed. She would suckerpunch you in the face if she knew you called him a murderer. 

“ So I'll leave you with the (slightly altered) words of the great philosopher Peter Singer: "All animals are equal. Except Jenna Woginrich. She's just a cunt." “

Calling a woman an animal, how proglessive (sexist).

And finally, fuckwit makes snide little remarks about how anyone is supposed to take Woginrich’s recommendations for buying from small-scale farmers seriously if she is one herself, and to that I say one thing: Go Fuck Yourself.

@dairyisntscary @agro-carnist @avatar-dacia @defilerwyrm @hostilepopcorn @smellyoldblanket @shitpetasays @zooophagous @trapperweasel @discourseful @thehornedwitch @unsuspectingfish @younghaunting

[imafoxylilringirl]

tag game

Rules: Bold those statements that are true for you and italic what is partially true. Tag 9 people you’d like to know better. (haha yeah not gonna do that maybe like three)

APPEARANCE I am 5′7″ or taller (5′4) I wear glasses (supa blind without them) I have at least one tattoo (i have every tattoo i want planned but the likelyhood of me getting one is a pipe dream. Broke bish.) I have blond hair (i bleach my hair because i like to dye different colors. My natural hair is black as pitch) I have brown eyes (yes) I have short hair (goes to my shoulders i don’t really know what classifies as short anymore. i use to wear it buzzed or in a mohawk for years) I have a six-pack (BAWHAHAHAHAHA) I have or have had braces. (never have)

PERSONALITY I love meeting people (I DOOOOOOO! i have social anxiety, i love meeting people but i have problems interacting with them unless i know them really well. and people i do know and interact with still sometimes make me so nervous-they’re way too cool for me-) People tell me that I’m funny (they do but all i can think is “looks aren’t everything”) Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me (i love helping people when i can i don’t do much but i try my best to make the world a better place) I enjoy physical challenges (i do enjoy them but i’m lazy and if not encouraged or scheduled i tend to not do them)  I enjoy mental challenges (i love love love mental challenges even if my brain isn’t up to them.) I’m playfully rude with people I know well (Only with those who i am most comfortable with) I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it (i’m sure there are a few examples of this but i can’t think of them. There are things that i say because i’ve had a brainfart and just become like a twin language with my older brother. Clickclick = remote control Glugglug=water) There’s something I’d change about my personality (lots)

ABILITY I can sing well? (i studied choir for most of my school years. Some people say i do some people say i don’t. i don’t think i do.) I can play an instrument (i can if i studied more but i’m very weak in the skills.) I can do over 30 push-ups without stopping (what’s a puuuuuuuuuush up) I’m a fast runner (in spurts i can be really fast but i’m not in best physical health.) I can draw well? (no) I have a good memory (only traumatic things it feels, sometimes. i have PTSD. i also have a pretty good memory for things i read, music and other arts) I’m good at doing math in my head (for the most part. i can solve algebra equations pretty well in my head. i’m also good at making my own equations when i am working on crafts. Sometimes i can’t math but i never let it stop me.) I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute (i mean a minute isn’t asking for too much is it?) I have beaten at least 2 people on arm wrestling (everyone did this as a kid right? there are bound to be at least 2 wins.) I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch (creme brule, a Korean dish with pork loin and French toast. i know others but these are my favorites.) I know how to throw a proper punch (knowing and being able to put it into practice are two different things. i always fall short when it comes to throwing one.)

HOBBIES I enjoy playing sports (i enjoy games and sports but i don’t do much) I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else (naw) I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else (was in choir most of my childhood) I’ve learned a new song in the past week (:D yep!) I work out at least once a week (does walking the dogs count? Or walking up and down the stairs to do laundry? Cleaning house? not that i’m very good at chores.) I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months (runs is BY FAR exaggerating. i’m a really slow walker and our sidewalks are uneven) I have drawn something in the past month (i think so but just barely) I enjoy writing(i use to be told i had a gift from it since i was in 1st grade) I do or have done martial arts?(i use to study Brazilian Jiu Jitsu but couldn’t continue with lack of money and our dojo shut down)

EXPERIENCE I have had my first kiss (yes) I have had alcohol (oh yes.) I have scored the winning goal in sports game (-snorts-) I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting(Only really short series/miniseries. i like to switch between shows when i can.) I have been at an overnight event? (sleep overs with friends? church camp? church events. School events.) I have been in a taxi (yep) I have been in the hospital or ER in the past years (i had a miscarriage in 2009) I have beaten a video game in one day (i’m sure i have but i can’t remember what game.) I have visited another country(naw)

RELATIONSHIPS I’m in a relationship (naw) I have a crush on a celebrity (yep) I have a crush on someone I know (yep) I have been in at least 3 relationships (yep) I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them (yep) I get crushes easily (my love map is fucked up any sign of affection screws me over one way or another. i try to avoid relationships that starts on these terms.) I have had a crush on someone for over a year (yep) I have had feelings for a friend (yeah, many)

MY LIFE I have at least one person I consider a best friend (yes) I live close to my school (been out of school for many a year and i live a few states away) My parents are still together(my mom is dead i don’t know about my father) I have at least one sibling(i have two brothers from my mom) I lived in the United States (all my life) There’s snow right now where I live (nope) I have hung out with a friend in the past month (does roleplaying with friends online count? Talking on the phone? i’ve also spent time with my older brother. He’s the only human i know in town.) I have a smartphone (i have two broken tablets but my phone is a landline) I have at least 15CDs (music and books on tape) I share my room with someone (my room is the living room, i share with the ferrets and dogs)

RANDOM SHIT I have breakdanced (i like to move, at some point i have tried breakdance moves.) I know a person named Jamie (have known someone named Jamie at some point in my life, it’s a common name) I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair (every chance i get) I’m listening to a song on repeat right now? (nope listening to Venture Bro. and Game of Thrones) I have punched someone in the last week I know someone who has gone to jail (a few) I have broken a bone (nope) I know what I want to do with my life (not definitively ) I have eaten a waffle today (nooooooo D:) I speak at least 2 languages (not fluently but i know many different words in many different languages) I have made a new friend in the past year(i like to think so :D)

[alltingfinns]

While I see others in the Tinfoil Hat Society are using The Abominable Bride and The Geek Interpreter as decoder rings for this episode, I've been inspired to go even bolder and more daring. To understand The Final Problem, I will use... The Final Problem.

What? you say. But they already adapted this story, and this episode is TFP in name only. Or is it? Think about it, why is this titled exactly like the canon story? When have they ever used an exact title like that? The Great Game comes to mind, but that was about the meta game within the reading of the stories. So what if this is a meta game? What if they kill the show instead of the character? What if this is their answer to Doyle's final problem?

We've talked about Doyle not being able to tell the story he wanted to, and killing his character off in frustration. But the public weren't satisfied. And they're not now either, because what the hell? This is what we waited years for? Not just johnlockers but casuals as well.

We know it's "gay or trash" but the general public still doesn't/didn't. They needed to see how bad it is when the real story isn't told. It is important to remember that we're an unexpected casualty, too clever for our own good. Too well versed in queer subtext from our hunger for representation. If we hadn't seen the conspiracy, we wouldn't be devastated, only flabbergasted like the rest of the world. This is when we become martyres in the war. It's not right, and it's not okay, but it is what it is. Me writing this is not a way of excusing what they've done, but rather explaining it. Don't read further if your heart can't take any kind of hope or faith right now. Take care of yourself first, you don't have to jump into the rabbithole with me. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, and I can dealwith that. This is I think the essence of tinfoiling at this point.

So if I'm Charles in the mail room, then the title is my Pepe Silvia. Barney, who got me looking into Pepe, is Eurus Holmes. I already mentioned in this post here, that Eurus is the modern equivalence of what Doyle did with Moriarty. It's hard to wrap our minds around, because a hundred years of pop culture has firmly established Moriarty as Holmes' great foe. But if you reread The Final Problem, and keep in mind that the character was invented for this story, it all starts to sounds eerily familiar.

"You have probably never heard of Professor Moriarty?" said he. "Never." "Aye, there's the genius and the wonder of the thing!" he cried. -snip-

"What has he done, then?" "His career has been an extraordinary one. He is a man of good birth and excellent education, endowed by nature with a phenomenal mathematical faculty. -snip- But the man had hereditary tendencies of the most diabolical kind. A criminal strain ran in his blood, which. instead of being modified, was increased and rendered infinitely more dangerous by his extraordinary mental powers. -snip-"

"As you are aware, Watson, there is no who knows the higher criminal world of London so well as I do. For years past I have continually been conscious of some power behind the malefactor, some deep organising power which forever stands in the way of the law, and throws its shield over the wrong doer."

Never before mentioned character suddenly has been in the background all along? They're the greatest brain Holmes ever encountered? They're just evil for evil's sake? It should also be pointed out that the idea of a criminal mastermind running their own criminal empire undetected by the poice was a ridiculous notion at the time. Now it's so commonplace in both reality and fiction, we don't bat an eyelash at it. What we would find ridiculous is everything about Eurus. She's Moriarty in this scenario.

It doesn't end with Eurus. There's several details like Watson conveniently being alone at the time because his wife/daughter is away with friends, Sherlock disguising himself/the show (because it's the show not the character being killed in this version), a convenient posthumous message. The convenient posthumous message, which was left by a character that a later installment showed not to be dead (Mary and/or Moriarty). The tone of it, the slight absurdity that Moriarty would just go "oh sure write a message, I'll wait here". (Especially when the message includes instructions for the downfall of what is left of Moriarty's criminal empire, and this supergreat mind didn't think that might happen?) Compare this to both Moriarty's and Mary's clipshows, they're also laced with absurd convenience.

This reading of "The Final Problem"ing the show indicates self sabotage, which goes both with the reading that they were denied by BBC to tell the story they wanted and with the idea of a secret episode yet to come. My money is on the latter for one reason:

"I keep saying to people if we’ll pull this off it will be television history. I think it really will because it’s kind of groundbreaking." - Amanda Abbington

We joke about how she must not have seen Orphan Six if she attributes this quote to Siân Brooke's performance. But I'm more interested in the pronoun problem, because it's hard to argue that that was any real group effort. If "we" pull off what? Honestly, canon Johnlock didn't ever fully sit right with me as an explanation either. Because why would that still be a question of "if we pull it off" if the film is in the can? You know what would be groundbreaking television history, that requires a lot of luck and hard work to still "pull off"? A secret episode that no one out of the loop would know about. That's something that could go wrong, be discovered before its time of revelation.

I want to point out that this still doesn't necessarily mean johnlock is going to be canon in this secret episode, and that this means we weren't queerbaited. I think it's possible that johnlock happens, but it's not absolutely tied into this reading, since the point is that it's a secret episode being groundbreaking.

You can say that I am in denial or bargaining here, maybe you are right. What I think is that this episode doesn'tmake sense unless it's deliberately bad with the canon story as inspiration. And that I am just looking for a logical explanation that satisfies if not all the facts, then at least more than "they're just bad writers which we didn't see before because accidentally good stuff" does. 

Because take johnlock entirely out of the equation, say we just saw unintentional subtext. And this episode still doesn't make sense. It's still too poorly written, badly executed, and nonsensical. Especially in comparison to previous episodes, whether you saw johnlock in them or not. At some point, it has to be deliberate. Too many odd details and plotholes, that no one picked up on? Simply because the writers had big egos being fed on by the mass appeal of the show? I guess that is an explanation, it's definitively possible. But it doesn't feel like it satisfies all of the facts.

Anyway, it was fun to write a longer meta (if still not on par with others' work) at least once for this show. It’s not good, I could probably go into more detail. But I just wanted to get this brainfart out there, you know?

Tagging other tinfoil hats I’ve seen on my dash: @toxicsemicolon @teapotsubtext @bbcatemysoul @kinklock I’m probably missing some.

[russiandance]

Check out my new stuff on http://www.gingerwithspice.com/recipe/healthy-banana-pancakes/

Healthy Banana Pancakes

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    JUMP TO RECIPE

  Pancakes. The classic American breakfast. I’m not sure if Americans actually eat pancakes on a regular basis, but when they are healthier than your normal pancake, I can’t see why not adding it to your breakfast portfolio.

  These healthy banana pancakes have no added sugar because of the sweet bananas, and remember; the riper the banana the sweeter the pancake. They also have whole wheat flour. I decided to make it half white and half whole wheat to make them fluffier, but you could just use whole wheat.

  It’s amazing how few ingredients these pancakes have, yet they taste so much! I would swear they contained vanilla, maybe cinnamon and nutmeg. But no, just banana. They taste amazing on their own, however, I do enjoy maple syrup and butter on mine. I understand not everyone would add those extra calories. Don’t you worry, these healthy banana pancakes are yummy and guilt free.

  Guilt free is exactly what we need now. But we still want tasty, right?

  Healthy Banana Pancakes

  This recipe is adapted from Cooktoria. Add your bananas to a medium bowl and smash them with a fork. I like to smash them good in order to get a smoother batter. Add in your eggs and milk of choice and mix until smooth. Add in flour, baking powder and baking soda. I like to let the batter rest 10 minutes before I begin cooking.

    Heat a nonstick skillet to medium and scoop 1/4 cup of batter into the skillet. This recipe makes about 10 pancakes. You want the heat to be high enough for the pancake not to flow too much out, you want it to rise up. You would also want the heat low enough to prevent the eggs from being scrambled and burning the pancake without cooking it through. That middle road is not always easy to find, so you might need to try different heat levels.

  Learn from my mistakes

Let them cool on a towel on a cooling rack. I am so glad I decided to have a towel over my cooling rack because I brainfarted, when I was flipping my pancakes I thought I was done with the pancake and I flipped it onto my towel. Don’t know what happened there, I had several thoughts in my head at once and that obviously didn’t go right. When I was going to move the pancake onto a stack, I immediately understood I had messed up. The underside of the pancake was not cooked, so it was just this doughy mess. It woudn’t be salvageable without the towel. Towels, guys, pancake savers.

    If you still want to take pancake cooking advice from me, I’m here. When the batter begins forming bubbles on top, the underside of the pancake is ready. Flip it – onto the skillet – and heat the other side. When you’re done with both sides, place them on a cooling rack.

  Enjoy with your choice of toppings. Delicious with maple syrup and butter, fresh berries and banana slices or even chocolate syrup if you’re feeling feisty.

  Other healthy breakfast choices:

Best Ever Scrambled Eggs

Whole Wheat Bread Rolls

Green Grape and Avocado Smoothie

Healthy Pumpkin Soufflé

Protein Chocolate Chia Pudding

Please tell me what you thought of this recipe, either in the comment section below or tag me @thegingerwithspice on Instagram. And don’t forget to Pin it for later!