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One of the most memorable speeches I've ever heard was given at my beloved's graduation. They attended a pretty crunchy school natural medicine. They went for acupuncture but they also had many degrees including nutrition, naturopathic medicine, and most importantly to this story: midwifery.
The common consensus across campus was that the midwives operated on their own frequency which is a nice way to say they were usually really weird, even by the standards of a pretty alternative crowd of people. Not weird in a bad way. But weird nonetheless. They straddled the boundary between life and death and it changed them.
I had never experienced a midwife before the ceremony which is why I didn't think anything of the fact that a midwife stepped up to give the graduation speech. My friends nearby had a stir of repressed amusement and elbowing each other which did puzzle me slightly.
The speech began as a story, which I heartily approved of. The midwife related an experience in which a woman told her that during her first birth she had screamed too much and used up her energy in that instead of pushing and the midwife, to the collective masses assembled to watch a solemn ceremony, said, "I told her this time she would need to scream with her vagina."
The audience was slightly stunned by this, myself included. I scanned the crowd to see dropped jaws and wide eyes. It was such a bold statement to make in an academic setting and no one quite knew what to make of it.
The midwife continued unperturbed.
She related that many dads didn't know what to do during the birthing process and that this particular dad chose to chant over and over, "You're gonna be huge, you're gonna be huge," as his wife screamed with her vagina to birth their child. The midwife mused that she didn't know if he was talking to their child or his wife or if he even registered what he was saying in that moment.
Then the subject strayed toward how the student body had strained and striven toward this goal, this endgame that was the result of sleepless nights, hard work, and camaraderie. The speech seemed to have moved onto more solid ground and traditional graduation reminiscences. The crowd settled, thinking the worst had passed.
But as the midwife wrapped up she said, "As you go forth into the world, pushed out by this noble institution to help the masses, just remember one thing," she paused and the audience held their breath while the beat drew out before she finally whispered:
"You're gonna be huge."
There was a roar of astonished laughter as her speech neatly tied their graduation into a metaphor for being birthed unto the world and we finally understood the point of her anecdote.
The speech lives in infamy in all our collective memories. Years later my beloved's dad will still be like, "Remember that bizarre graduation speech?"
And it was. It was bizarre. But I'll say this. I've attended a lot of graduations, and I don't remember any of the speeches half so well as I do that one.
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love is a kick to the stomach
max verstappen - sequel to: lust is a loaded hand gun
tags: smut/fluff, pregnancy & kids, falling in love, dad!max, body worship, tenderness, plot, cowgirl position
a/n: this was made possible by the support of over a dozen people asking for a sequel! i hope you enjoy it <3
"are you sure you're going to be fine on your own?" your former teammate charles asked as he helped you pack the last of your suitcases. your apartment in monaco was bare, and for good reason, you were going home.
you replied with a shrug, "i'll be fine. i mean if i could sustain a driving career for as long as i did. i can handle raising a baby." you rubbed your lower back a little bit.
charles said,"i guess so, you know, monaco isn't a terrible place to raise a child." he gestured to himself with raised eyebrows.
"as much as i'd love to." you said, "i think people will start to raise eyebrows when they see max's look-alike running around. plus, i guess it's a way to get away from it. something simpler for my kid."
you hadn't spoken to the father of your son, max didn't know you were pregnant. and it was the best for everyone if he never knew that you had a child with him.
you remember the first time you held nicolas in your arms, it took you close to ten hours for you to deliver him. you had to say, the aches and pains of racing were nothing compared to the rising anxiety and pain of delivering a child. didn't help he was stubborn like this father. you tried not to think about max too much during the moments of lessened pain. part of you wanted him there, while you were determined to raise your child alone. the moments of weakness you felt during delivery made you want to hastily unblock max's number and call him before the next contractions came.
"okay, okay. just you and me, baby, just you and me." you told yourself as you laid in the hospital bed with your belly swollen from the months of carrying your son. you hissed through your teeth as another contraction hit.
in the end, you had nicolas. or nico as you called him. tired, over-heated as you pushed out your baby. the nurse told you it was a boy. wrapped in a blanket as he was placed on your chest. you could only describe it as maternal warmth as you cried. this was your baby. your little nico. "congratulations." the nurse told you as you held onto him gently. when you gave birth to your son, max was in monaco streaming with the rest of the redline team. fully unaware that you just had his child.
you lived a quiet life after that, but sometimes you could still feel the rumble of the track in your soul. it pulled you in, there was no reason for it to come back. there was no way you could, nico needed his mother and you made the choice to start a family of your own.
"nico!" you giggled towards your toddler, nico was now close to three years old! you picked him up from his spot at the coffee table, surrounded by papers and markers. you gave him a kiss on the cheek and said, "remember uncle charlie?" you swayed a little with the child in your arms.
the little boy nodded, "uh-huh." charles sent you and nico christmas presents every year. he even visited once or twice during summer break and spent a week with the two of you, he loved the time away from the hustle and bustle of racing. nico knew uncle charlie mostly because of leo, you had to teach him how to be gentle with the dog.
"well, he is inviting us somewhere. we're going to see him race, just like what mama used to do." it was the pre-season testing, it would be nice to see everyone. see how things changed in the three years since you left, "i know you've been asking about the cars." you smiled at the little boy.
nico really was the son of two racers, even now he was colouring pages of cars and he learned some of his colours from the cars in your neighbourhood. his expression light up, "the cars?"
you chuckled and said, "yes! we'll see the cars go really fast." it felt somewhat silly to say that raising a child felt more fulfilling than any of the titles you won.
it was almost more challenging with more rewards. driving was intense and lit an inferno in your stomach. but, you were constantly swarmed by the media with people yelling in your ear at all times. you were both hated and loved by the press, the organization and the fans. and while parenthood was harder in a lot of ways, it was nice. it was quieter. you saw friends, you found interest in painting, you read all the books you bought on your travels as a racer. the best part about having a kid was having a travel buddy. you weren't your stats or your trophies, you were just you.
but driving was a drug, and you also wanted to see the cars go very fast. so within a couple of weeks you were on the track for the pre-season.
"and that nico, is a racing car." you pointed towards the red ferrari car. a similar one to the one you drove. and you watched your young son light up the way you did all those years prior.
-
you knew you were going to see max. it was stupid to think that you could not see him. he had won the previous year's wdc, he was everywhere. so while you spoke to lewis and charles, you caught sight of him. and he caught sight of the toddler in your arms.
charles looked over to where your gaze was and said, "oh shit." then tried to shift over to sort of usher you and nico away from the gaze of max. but you reached out and touched your former teammates shoulder.
"it's fine..." you assured him. the past year, as it felt like nico was growing so much everyday. the feelings about max had resurfaced. while you believed that you and your network of friends and family could raise nico just fine. max didn't know that nico existed. a night of passion was just that in max's mind.
you shifted your toddler in your arms and looked over to max. you smiled and gave him a small wave. and you could see the expression cross max's face.
nico let go of the front of your shirt and made child's grabby-hands towards the man. and max took a bold step forward, and then another, and then another before he was crowded in your space. an expression across his face as he looked down at you and nico.
"hey." you said.
"hi." he replied. he raised his hand for a moment, but stopped himself. he swallowed and asked, "who is this?"
you looked down at the boy who was holding onto your shirt once more. you smiled at max, "nicolas. but everyone calls him nico. he's my son."
our son.
max swallowed and looked at the boy. he patted him on the top of the head and smiled, "well, hello nico. your mama was an amazing driver." he looked at you once more before you were pulled away by charles to see the rest of the ferrari team. max watched you walk away, just as he did all those years prior.
-
"can i watch nico?" charles asked while
"i can watch him just fine. i've been doing it for three years." you chuckled as you grabbed a chip from the bag and ate it.
charles crossed his arms and looked at you, "when was the last time you had a break? plus me and alexandra are thinking about, maybe, having a child once my career winds down." he smiled a little, "want to make sure that i can handle a three year old."
you looked to your son on the carpeted floor playing with the duplo blocks that you had brought with you. you then looked to charles and asked, "so you're probably assuming that if you can handle the son of me and him, you can handle your own child?"
charles nodded, "the child of ferrari's princess and mad max. must be a handful." he laughed a little.
"he's not the son of satan, charles." you playfully shoved your former teammate. and he shrugged. you were thankful in a way that you didn't go with charles' plan for him to father your child. you felt like that would've been more complicated than what you had now, since you liked charles' current partner.
"take the night off or at least a few hours. go do something for yourself." charles gave you a sympathetic glance. and you had no choice to concede.
he was right, since nico's birth you had no time for yourself unless he was asleep. but usually you fell asleep too. in the end you dressed nicely, in a pencil skirt and a white blouse. you had your purse on hand and told charles to text you if there were any issues. and you made nico promise you to be good. you kissed the boy's cheek before you headed out.
you ended up at a bar. it wasn't busy and you blended in with the other patrons. the press didn't bother you too much, you had been out of the spotlight for long that it was mostly making the public aware that you still existed and now you had a kid.
"well, well, well." a man's voice caught your attention. you looked up from your phone to see max by your table, "has ferrari's princess finally come back to her castle."
you swallowed, "hi, max."
"where's the little one?"
"with charles tonight."
max nodded, "i was going to make a joke about him being the father... but i know that's not true." he sat down across from you at the table. he rested his forearms on the table, his watch shined in the low light of the bar, "what happened?"
"nothing happened. i just retired."
"with my son... a son i knew nothing about." his voice was low, "why didn't you tell me? do you think so low of me i wouldn't have tried to help? you ran off back home and blocked me..." there was a look in his eyes.
"i didn't want to burden the world champion." you lied as you took a sip of your stiff drink. you felt tension in your shoulders as you took a sip. your heart rattled in your chest, "i didn't expect you to do anything. i didn't need you to."
max reached across the small table and took a hold of your wrist to bring your closer. then he locked his fingers with yours. he said, "maybe i wanted to... did you never think i wanted to be a father?"
you swallowed, "no." you assumed he didn't. not after everything, you heard enough of his father's berating in your karting career. the angry dutch words followed by insults in english so everyone knew what was being said. and that apprently only scratched the surface of what had been done to him. you thought max was a good fit because he would be so disinterested in being a parent. but as he looked at you, hand in yours. you realized you made a grave error. you said, "being a parent isn't easy."
max chuckled, "i know. i'm not stupid. i thought about that night we shared, it comes back to me. i've never wanted someone the way i wanted you. and to know you carried my child, it only pulls me in more."
you took another sip of your drink with your free hand and said, "and what are you going to do about it, verstappen?" you may be a mother now, but you were ferrari's princess, the temptress on wheels. you'd still go toe-to-toe with any man.
max simply smiled.
-
you ended up in max's hotel room. his hands on you like they were all those years ago. he touched you the way a lover would as the two of you passionately made out. you moaned against his lips and you held onto his strong shoulders.
"i thought about you every day of your retirement. i wanted to know what happened. i thought you were sick." he kissed along your neck, his hands at your waist.
"i mean, i did have quite the stomach bug. took ten hours to get him out." you moaned a little bit as his lips grazed over your pulse point. you could feel a surge of pleasure through you. you had been with anyone intimately since max. you didn't have time for dates let alone hook-ups.
"i should've been there. i would've been there in a heartbeat. you, me, nico... a family." he said as he looked to you once more and you toyed with the material of his shirt, "i always had a fondness for you. you let nothing stop you."
you smiled, "i always thought you wanted a model... not a driver."
he pressed his chest against yours and looked into your eyes, "maybe in another time. i wish i could've seen you pregnant." he swallowed as his hands touched your breasts.
you chuckled lowly, "someone wanted a milf?"
he shook his head as he pressed his forehead to yours, "no, no. i wanted to see your body change from what we made. the child we made together."
"but racing..."
he groaned, "fuck it. choose between another trophy taking up space in my apartment... or a home with you and nico. such a hard choice, don't you think?" he chuckled as he held you so close to him. he groped your breasts, "a man who finds more fulfillment in pieces of plastic and metal than having a home to go to is a stupid man."
you chuckled, "i guess i didn't want to be your wag either."
he shook his head, "i don't think you can be a wag if you played the sport. if you are worried about there being expectations placed on you, then don't worry. if you can't drive, then i'll drive twice as hard for us. any ten second gap i have will be twenty seconds, because i know you only expect the best."
you felt warmth in your cheeks. and eventually he led you to the bedroom. you ended up on the bed with max undoing your button up. you giggled, "ah, does someone like mothers?"
he groaned with his nose against your heated skin, "only when they had my kid... nico looked exactly like me." he said as he got the button up off your shoulder.
you moaned, but then yelped as he pushed you back onto the bed. you looked up at him, "i'm on birth control." you licked your lips as you got out of your bra and max took off his t-shirt, "fuck, now i remember why i wanted to have a baby with you."
he put his hands on his hips and smiled. tiny waist, broad shoulders. a certain strength to him, but he didn't look like a dehydrated mess. he was strong in a way that excited you, but you also knew that he loved a good meal. long before he gorged himself on your cunt, he happily ate the meals you cooked. you remember he even said, "you'd make a great wife." which honestly sowed the seed that led to nico.
the night of passion that led to the making of your son. you could feel max's eyes wander across your body and he licked his lips. he said, "you look good. bit more curves than when we last were like this."
"yeah, i had an eight pound baby." you chuckled as you got the rest of your clothes off. max's hungry gaze lingered, "i got a few more curves that a track as carry him for nine months, you know he was three days overdue."
"stubborn." max laughed as he unzipped his jeans, "just like his mama."
you narrowed your eyes, "no, just like his old man." and max was all over you. the kissed became hungry and needy. neither of you had been intimate with another person since the night you made nico. three years ago. you were busy with a baby while max couldn't get you out of his head. he tried to find another woman, he tried to be close to someone. but you always pulled in the back of his mind.
both of you were into the hotel room and max kissed at your breasts. your breasts were roughly average size before you got pregnant. the training and weight guidelines for racing prevented you from having a big chest. but you went up at least a cup and a half during your pregnancy. and max loved kissing the heated skin.
"fuck." you gasped. both naked on the bed, moved against one another. it was like being in a familiar place. you knew max's body just as you did all those years ago. you kissed him and ended up straddled max's waist.
he was up against the pillows and your knees on either side of him. your hands roamed his chest and he shuddered. he looked up at you with those blue eyes, "please, fuck. please, give me a chance. give me a chance to be there for you and nico.."
you swallowed, you never expected that from max. a man on the top like that wouldn't easily quiver at the aspect of being a father. but max wanted it. he wanted the family. he wanted a home. you sighed to yourself, you guessed an apartment full of trophies wasn't enough.
you put a hand on his chest before you sank on his cock, "max. if nico decided not to peruse racing.... would you still love him?" that was a conversation you had to have with yourself. you loved racing, that was your passion for years. but you promised yourself to never be the parent that you saw early in your career. twisting their children to make them conform to the parent's standards. to force them into racing.
he said, those blue eyes gazed up at you, "if nico wanted to race. i'm behind him a hundred percent. if it doesn't, nothing changes... he is still my son. i'm behind him through everything."
you leaned down to kiss max on the lips, "fuck, max." you sank down onto his cock and continued to kiss him. you splayed your hands across his broad chest and continued to move against him.
"shit." he shuddered. he felt a certain euphoria that left him needy for more. never had he had soemthing like this. not since the last time he had you. it was a amazing. to have you so close once more. he wrapped his strong arms around you and moved against you. the kisses shared between you two were hot and heavy, it left him feeling tense in a good way. to have you on top of him, close to him was a feeling he wished he could never forget.
even after three years you still occupied his mind in ways that left him shuddering against you. after three years, after all this time, he still wanted to map your body with his tongue. even the changes post-pregnancy. he held onto you and kissed at your heated skin. he wished he was there, seeing the progress of you carrying nico. to be a father. he moved against you, he held you. he loved you, but he had been holding onto that love for some time. unable to properly display it, and to find out you had a child with him only fueled the passion for you. the two of you moved against one another, you both felt the intense pleasure from the heated movements against one another.
this was how you should've been a long time ago. if max had known you wanted a baby, he would've happily had one with you. but he should've been there for every moment of it. even if you couldn't race because of the pregnancy, max would kiss every winning trophy in your honor, he'd race for both of you. and then come to the paddock with you and nico, a family of three. a family he always wanted.
he wanted to kiss you in front of the cameras. even if you were retired, he wanted to make you feel that every winning was for both of you. he kissed at you heated skin and you moaned, he felt the warmth of love in his gut. you two should've been married by now, a house somewhere quiet. it didn't even have to be in monaco. max would happily pack up his racing sim gear and his cats, and move to anywhere you desired. he hoped that you two could be a family.
to come home after a triple header and see you and nico. the boy looked so much like him. those round cheeks, those wide eyes. the excitement on the track and his need to be close to his mother (you). it screamed a young max, but max wanted to be a better father. he wanted to be present, he wanted to be there for his son.
he groaned, "please, please. let me into your little family." he kissed as your larger breasts and moved against you. the pleasure was deep inside of him. to have you once more felt like a dream.
you held onto his short hair for a moment, you groaned a little bit as you felt the immense heat between you two. you leaned down and kissed him on the head with such tenderness. this wasn't the kind of sex you had all that time ago, this was something more softer. more gentle. less like a means to an end, and more like you two were becoming familiar with each other's bodies again.
"you look perfect," he said lowly, "i'm surprised you hadn't picked uo a husband after all the time." he held on a little tighter and worked your body against him. the pleasure shot through the both of you which only spurred you on the move faster.
your bucked your hips against his, you felt the inferno in your belly as you held his face and kissed him once more. if he wanted to be in nico's life then you'd allow it. you'd let max be involved, be the father he wanted to be. you thought his trophies were more important, but seeing him, his eagerness to be in nico's life made you realize that he wanted a family, a home. you kissed him once more as the two of you thrusted against one another.
you knew racing would always pull you back in eventually. it had that effect on people. it was infectious, even tucked away in your domestic life. you still sat on the couch with your rambunctious toddler and watched the races at odd hours.
"why do you want a life with me and nico, you could have any-"
"i don't want to hear it. nico deserves a father and you deserve a loving partner... hell, maybe even a husband." he said with total conviction as he moved against you. the pleasure felt like it was going to boil over soon.
you moved against him, eagerness in your movements. you couldn't think of anymore things to prevent max from being part of your family. your movements staggered and you felt the pleasure bloom into something more. you hissed, "fuck," while you moved against him. you felt the inferno in your soul, the need for him in ways you didn't need any other man.
this was the father of your son, and you carried feelings for him just as you carried nico. the combination of you two, the affection you had for one another in a brief moment. it was something you wanted to expand on. you wanted to love max verstappen.
you held onto the father of your child. you came around his cock and arched your back. you felt the fury of lust through your body as you moved against him. you laid a heavy kiss on his lips as your pussy clenched around his cock, "fuck." you said, words muffled by the kiss. max wrapped his strong arms around you and moved against you further. you felt his cock nudge against some of your softest areas and it made you toes curl through climax.
he groaned into the kiss and continued to move against you. a few more heavy strokes and he finished inside of you. he practically melted against you and you smiled against his lips with affection. his brain felt swamped with emotion as he said, "i love you."
and without thinking you replied, "i love you too, max." then kissed him once more with total affection for one another.
max swallowed as he held you as you slowed your pace to a stop. he craned his neck to press his cheek against your soft stomach, "don't leave again... please."
"max." you panted and combed your fingers through his hair. he held onto you tighter as if you were going to slip away.
he said, in a tone you never thought you could hear from a world champion, "don't.. don't leave." this was supposed to be simple. max was a means to a child, but he wanted to be in nico's life. he wanted to be a father.
you wrapped your arms around him and held him close to your abdomen. you exhaled deeply and said, "i don't want to pressure you into being a father... if you're going to be in his life, you're going all in. he needs stability."
max lifted his head to look at you. those blue eyes dazzled in the low light of his hotel room. he held onto you a little tighter, not enough to bruise however. he said, "i'm all in. you, me, and nico." like a promise.
maybe it was the post-orgasm hormones or maybe because you became a tad more in touch with your emotions after having a child. but when max said that, you cried.
-
"go nico! go, go!!!" you shouted as your nine year old sailed past the finish line in first place and you broke into a grin. your husband wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close into a kiss. you laughed into the kiss and said to your husband, "oh man. ow, ow. okay, okay!" you looked down at your swollen middle, "someone isn't happy about the excitement."
"sorry there, little one." max's hand rubbed your swollen middle. his wedding band gleamed in the afternoon light. you were welcoming a son in four months and could already feel the commotion of racing.
you smiled at max for a moment before your son got out of the cart and you were moving as fast as you could to greet him. with his helmet off, you cupped your son's chubby cheeks. he was looking more like max every day, but smashed records the way you did.
you were soon a family of four. you didn't live in your home country and max had moved away from monaco when you got married. max was a good father, as he picked up nico with ease.
"you did amazing, nico. good job!" he beamed at the little boy and the boy beamed back at him. you knew that people shouldn't have children to heal a part of themselves. you learned that when you were pregnant the first time. but when max gave praise to your son, he was giving the young boy the support he never got. that if nico was going to eventually end up in formula one, it wasn't going to be the way that max was brought up.
he'd do it right.
stern when he needed to be. you'd both push nico to be the best, but also give him the love a wide-eyed, chubby cheeked boy needed. and as you leaned down as best as you could to kiss your son on the cheek. you felt like a family. it felt like home.
you were confident that you could've raised both nico and your future son by yourself. but it was an adventure you'd rather share with max. <3
#bunny writes#reader insert#formula 1#formula one imagine#formula one smut#f1 smut#formula one fanfiction#f1 x reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen smut#max verstappen#mv33 x reader#mv33#mv33 smut#mv1#mv1 x reader#mv1 fic#mv1 imagine#mv1 x you#red bull racing#mv33 fic#the bakery#mv33 imagine#rbr
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Lay Me to Rest- DCxDP Prompt
Warning: Blood and gore
There has been a series of murders across the country. Each death was varied and self-inflicted. At first, they all seemed like suicide but each had a strange range of symptoms before death.
Sudden paranoia, incoherent mumbling, screaming or yelling, going in and out of their homes sporadically, random fixations, and finally self-harm.
The victims were teachers, parents, businessmen, truckers, and even a crime novelist. All unrelated and in different states.
Each victim didn't seem to have a connection until an investigation discovered that each one had been an active serial killer. The body counts ranged from as little as 5 to as much as 23. The killer was named the Serial Serial Killer which wasn't creative but it was catchy. Some called them the Angel of Vengeance but most thought it was cringy and overdramatic. Many people didn't want them to be caught but others hotly debated letting a killer dispense justice when their crusade could easily turn into them killing people for innocuous things.
The police were still questioning whether this killer even existed. One thing was clear, there was a trail and it led straight to Gotham. A goldmine for them. Naturally, Batman had gotten a hold on the case and began an investigation.
The biggest question was how the killer found their victims and how they knew that they were killers.
The answer was obvious. They didn't need to figure it out. They just needed to wait. Why just in the effort to investigate when a serial killer tries to convince you to leave with them? So bars are the obvious place. But that's shaky at best since there is a period of torment that takes place that allows the victims to return home. The killer doesn't care if the victims could call the police, perhaps because they know their victim won't.
Bruce started to build a profile. He saw a pattern here. Each of the victims had a preference for their victims as well. They targeted young people, mainly boys. Odds are the Serial Serial Killer matched that description or age range. So bars weren't the hunting ground. So parks were more likely to go unnoticed and boys tended to hang out there longer after dark.
The killer was more than likely a victim himself so he may have a few scars but probably not noticeable enough that his would-be assailants would be turned off. There is no ignoring the predatory nature of the victims. Each killed children for gratification in some form. It's not that the boy is attractive but he probably has traits that the victims found attractive in children. So babyfaced, short, native, and polite.
There was much else Bruce could get. There was nothing concrete and he still didn't understand the method that was used. So far this was guesswork.
It wasn't until a few weeks later while he tracking another killer that he found his answer.
Dr.Kinder a Biologist by day and a killer who experiments on his victims at night had picked up a promising new lab rat a week ago. He had intended to slowly dissect the boy. He had gotten so used to the screams he stopped using anesthetics besides he wanted to see how the fear response caused the organs to shift.
To his surprise the boy didn't fight, in fact he seemed to jump to the table and say he didn't need restraints. Disturbing. But he was restrained anyways.
As the doctor cut him open the boy didn't react, only humming to himself as he watched the doctor.
"What are you hoping to find?" He asked. "I'm getting bored and this bearly hurts."
The boy annoyingly never stopped talking and never missed a chance to ruin the moment. There were never any screams or cries but incessant talking.
Dr.Kinder found the boy disturbing so he simply took an axe and chopped the boy into pieces. Not once did he make a sound. The doctor thought it was over but the next day the boy was back. He sat on the autopsy table kicking his feet in nothing but his bare skin.
"What the hell are you?" The doctor gasped in horror.
"I'm bored. Play with me again." The boy purred.
Bile crawled up his throat as the doctor restained this...thing again.
This time the boy spoke differently.
"You cut me up last time. Did you do that to the last boy. After you...you know." A sick grin spread across his cheeks.
The doctor cut open his neck this time and let him bleed out.
Everyday he came back and every day the doctor killed him until the time between his death got shorter and shorter. The days began to blur and he had no idea how long he had been doing this. But that thing kept talkimg to him.
Dr.Kinder stared down at his desk at the papers trying to think of anything but-
"I wonder what people would think about what you've done. You're a disgusting and depraved man doctor. Look at what you've done to me." The sing-song voice of that demon called out.
He could feel those blood-soaked arms wrapped around his neck.
He flinch as he pushed the thing away.
"Oh, are you going to beat me or stab me this time? Ooo, or are you going to put me through the woodchipper again?" The demon asked as the doctor wrapped his hands around his throat.
He just kept squeezing until the boy went limp. It never ends. The blood never goes away. It covered every surface of the room. Dripping, conjugating, and spreading into every corner. Whenever he turned his head he could see body parts spread across the room in the pools of blood he could they the faces of the others that he had killed. Each face wretched in agony.
"You hold on better than the others. I've been eaten, torched, and disemboweled before but after coming back a few times they usually end it after a few words. But every time they don't feel guilt. They just don't want to face consequences." The boy said. "Do you even remember my name? The one I told you when you picked me up on the side of the road or was I just another body to use and discard? I used the name of your first victim. I hoped you'd notice."
The doctor knew he couldn't kill the boy but he could end himself. He had tried it once but just like the kid he came back without a scratch.
"Not yet. This is your life now. Come on, let's taste death together. Again and again and again and again and-" he repeated over and over.
This was hell. This was his hell.
But it came to an end eventually. Dr.Kinder put an end to himself in a gruesome display.
Batman had only caught the tail end as he faced a young boy standing an a pool of blood.
****
"Yeah, that thing is like a worse version of a revenant. Doesn't really have a name yet to describe it. It's undead for sure. You kill it and it just comes back." Constantine said "Why did you bring it here?"
After a long bath and some new clothes, the kid looked normal as played on a phone given to him.
"Look, I didn't know what else to do." Bruce explained.
"You leave it alone!" Constantine said exasperated "Look they are harmless to anything they don't bear a grudge towards. Think of it as a force of nature." Constantine said.
"I just want to know how to stop him." Bruce said.
"Well you can't kill it but you can't bring him back entirely. You can just soothe it 'till it stops targeting its victims. It must have died pretty gruesomely to go to these lengths. You need to find where it died and lay it to rest. Properly." Constantine sighed knowing that appeasing this soul would be more than just difficult.
"Danny, come on. Let's go." Bruced said putting a hand on the boy's head as Danny stood up to leave.
"Okay. Bye!" Danny waved to Constantine.
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Juno
Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader
Category: Social Media au
Summary: Pop star Y/N L/N cannot behave herself on social media. But who can blame her when her boyfriend looks like that?
Face claim: Sabrina Carpenter
Masterlist
yourusername:
liked by joeyb_9, taylorswift and others
yourusername: Just a little something I wrote recently🤭
Juno out tonight 8pm EST
view comments:
user1: Girlie is finally releasing music again?? Album when???
user2: Pop is back!
user3: you'll find me SCREAMING
user4: Juno?? Like the goddess of love and marriage..?
- user5: Wait! You're onto something!!!!
- user6: y'all what if she means the movie
- user7: what movie?
- user6: Dang, you're making me feel old
taylorswift: They're not ready for it
- user8: TAYLOR????? HELLOOOO??
- user9: REP TV REFERENCE!!!
- user10: easter egg??!!!
- user 11: girl that's a whole easter basket
joeyb_9: nice dress
- user12: excuse me? sir?
- user13: I just know they're up to something
lahjay10_: Joe has not stopped smiling all morning practice
- user14: It's about him then???
- user15: He's giggling and kicking his feet I just know it
user16: Joe can you fight??
- joeyb_9: yes I can
- user16: oop- I was not expecting that
- user17: he gagged you fr
user18: I don't know if I wanna be her, or be with her
- user19: the struggle is real
yourusername:
liked by joeyb_9, zendaya and others
yourusername: oops... wrong pic🤭 Juno out now btw
view comments:
user1: you're this thirsty on main????!!!!
user2: girl calm down
user3: NOW THATS WHAT I CALL AN OVULATION SONG
user4: I'm actually speechless after listening to this...
- user5: No becuase WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARK YOUR TERRITORY???!!
user5: hold me and explore me??? GIRL!
user6: SOMEONE NEEDS TO CONTROL MY GIRL Y/N
- user7: we need to spay her frfr
user8: tf you mean freaky positions???
user9: I mean, have you seen her man??? I don't blame her
- user10: The only pop-girlie with a hot boyfriend I fear
- user11: Louis Partridge exists yk
user12: I was gonna say you swan🦢 he frog🐸 but I fear can't
user13: how are you able to look your parents in the eyes after this girl???
user14: She and Joe be freaky like that ig
joeyb_9: I feel honored
- user15: YOU GUYS ARE INSANE!!
- user16: did not expect this when I woke up this morning
- user17: Joe, are you well???
user18: I always knew they were freaky
yourusername:
liked by joeyb_9, milliebobbybrown and others
yourusername: One of me is cute, but two though?
Surprise! Double whammy you guys 34+35 out now!
view comments:
user1: SHE'S INSANE!
user2: nah what do you mean 34+35??? you freakyyyyy!!!
user3: tf you mean "got the neighbors yelling earthquake"????
user4: What kind of freak-juice do they put in the water in Cincinnati?
user5: Let me breath, damn. I haven't even recovered from Juno yet
joeyb_9: I can make sure that there is two of you by this time next year
- yourusername: I just might let you🤭
- lahjay10_: BRING BACK SHAME!!!!
- jjettas2: NORMALIZE BULLYING!!!
- user6: Ja'marr?? Justin?? hello???
- user7: I stand with Justin and Ja'marr because writing this on main is CRAZY
- user8: WE NEED TO PUT BOTH JOE AND Y/N IN HORNY JAIL!
user9: That's enough screen time for you missy
user10: THESE LYRICS ARE CRAZYYYY
- user11: They're not even trying to be subtle
user12: Didn't Joe say in one interview that he goes to bed by like 8pm. Tf you mean "we started at midnight, go 'til the sunrise"??
- user13: One of them is lying and I think it's the blonde one
- user14: both of them are blonde
- user13: @/youmissedthejoke
user15: yall are acting like this is sum crazy shit but if I had a boyfriend who looked like that I would be acting WAYYYY worse
- user16: FR! Like if I looked like Y/N and my bf looked like Joe, you would not be catching us leaving the house
yourusername:
liked by joeyb_9, alix_earle and others
yourusername: Have you ever tried this one?
view comments:
user1: Ma'am there are kids on this app
joeyb_9: yeah we did it last night, remember?
- yourusername: no, can you remind me😇
- lahjay10_: EW EW EW EW EW
- lahjay10_: THAT'S ENOUGH!
- lahjay10_: I NEED BLEACH FOR MY EYES
- lahjay10_: I'M TELLING MANAGEMENT!!
- lahjay10_: THIS IS AN HR ISSUE
- user2: is Ja'marr okay?
- user3: He's crashing out
- user4: bro is tweaking
user5: we can try it out if you want to🤭
- joeyb_9: She's busy
- user6: we need lock him up or something
- yourusername: would handcuffs suffice?
- user7: EXCUSE ME!!???
- user8: Girl this is a public comment section!
- user9: Saying that on Beyonce's internet is CRAZY
user10: looked at myself and sighed
user11: girl, who is in charge of your social media??
user12: we need to lobotomize her or something
lahjay10_:
liked by teehiggins, andreiiosivas and others
lahjay10_: The trenches look a little different when you in the inside of the Spectre.
view comments:
user1: #unblocky/n
user2: #unblocky/n
user3: #unblocky/n
user4: #unblocky/n
joeyb_9: #unblocky/n
- user5: help- not Joe joining us
- user6: y/n is this you?
- joeyb_9: Nope, this is actually Joe
- user7: I can't with this man😭
lahjay10_: aight what the hell is going on?
- user8: #unblocky/n
- user9: #unblocky/n
yourusername: I'VE BEEN UNBLOCKED!!🥳
- user10: welcome back queen
- lahjay10_: hope you happy now
- yourusername: the happiest😁
yourusername:
liked by joeyb_9, andreiiosivas and others
yourusername: AAAAAAAHHHH! JOE BURROW PLEASE PUSH ME UP A WALL AND THROW ME ACROSS THE ROOM! I wanna climb this man like a tree. I wanna gnaw on his biceps like a beaver and I wanna scratch his back like a goddamn feral cat!
view comments:
user1: is she okay?
user2: I can just tell that she's ovulating
user3: well you can actually do that if you want to #wearenotthesame
user4: on main is CRAZY
user5: I didn't realize this was Y/N's account, deadass thought it was a horny fan-account💀
joeyb_9: That can be arranged
- user6: He's so nonchalant with it😭
- user7: I know I should be used to this by now but at the same time his comments never fails to flabbergast me
- user8: Remember when we used to have shame?
- jjettas2: pause.
user9: Yall are calling her crazy but she's so real for this
user10: I can't with this girl💀
andreiiosivas: are you okay?
- user11: Help not Andrei lowkey being concerned😭
- user12: She just ovulating, don't worry
[This post has been deleted]
yourusername:
liked by joeyb_9, lahjay10_ and others
yourusername: Juno is now number one on the Billboard hot 100! Thank you so much to everyone who streamed🩵
view comments:
user1: this caption does not sound like my girl Y/N
user2: where is crazy Y/N?
user3: did you get your social media hacked or sum?
user4: I think her team took her social media away😭
- user5: yeah cuz her last (extremely unhinged) post was deleted too
- user6: Noooooo! I lived for Y/N's posts
- user7: me too girl😔
user8: I'll miss you diva💜
user9: #wewanty/n
- user10: #wewanty/n
- user11: #wewanty/n
- user12: #wewanty/n
user13: congratulations, but please give my girl back her account
user14: The biggest sign that this isn't Y/N is that Joe didn't comment
- user15: fr! he always comments on her posts
- user16: he's silent protesting💀
lahjay10_: I can finally scroll on instagram without getting a jumpscare🙏 I used to pray for times like this!
- user17: Ja'Marr😭
- user18: Bro rejoicing💀
joeyb_9:
liked by lahjay10_, sam_hubbard_ and others
joeyb_9: Since someone got her social media privileges taken away, I had to be the one to post this photo of her because she said: "I look cute in this photo, the world deserves to witness it"
view comments:
user1: get yourself a man who posts you on his instagram when you can't!
user2: she was right, I had to witness this🙂↕️
user3: mother is mothering!!!
lahjay10_: you down bad bro
- joeyb_9: and?
- user4: THAT'S A MAN!
- user5: I swear my pants were JUST on
jjettas2: what happened to the social media break?
- joeyb_9: boyfriend duties called
- user6: When he breaks his social media break for you>>
user7: Thank you for blessing us like this🙏
user8: I am straight, I am straight, I am straight
user9: Joe is so lucky😔
- user10: He gets to wake up to this everyday😫
- joeyb_9: It's a pretty sweet sight ngl
- user 11: STOP😭
- user12: bro be reading all the comments
- joeyb_9: gotta make sure only nice things are said
- user13: stop that's so cute🥹
One year later:
yourusername:
liked by joeyb_9, jjettas2 and others
yourusername: I let him make me Juno
view comments:
joeyb_9: Prettiest mommy in the whole world ❤️
user1: OMG I AM TOTALLY NOT FREAKING OUT!
user2: mother is a real mother???
user3: Those unhinged posts actually led to this???
user4: CONGRATS!!!!
jjettas2: Congratulations you two! So happy for you!
teehiggins: QB loading...
lahjay10_: Blessed to be baby Burrow's uncle🙏
sam_hubbard_: Congratulations!❤️
andraiiosivas: The best parents!
user5: when mama y papa actually become mama y papa🥲
#joe burrow x reader#joe burrow fanfiction#joe burrow#joe burrow imagine#joe burrow social media au#nfl fanfiction#nfl imagine#nfl social media au#why4anne
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“ DIE WITH A SMILE. ”⠀⠀───⠀⠀arcane.
⠀⠀𝖾𝗉𝗂𝗌𝗈𝖽𝖾 𝗈𝗇𝖾.⠀( welcome to the playground , 7.7k words. )⠀by dilemmars.
1.⠀⠀ PAIRING⠀⠀:⠀⠀violet x f!reader.
2.⠀⠀GENRES⠀⠀:⠀⠀based on the storyline and universe of arcane ( league of legends tv show )⠀; first love trope, started dating recently, stablished relationship, exes to lovers. basically you and vi were dating before the start of the story, then got separated.
3.⠀⠀WARNINGS⠀⠀:⠀⠀i will add the warnings that the tv show has: slight presence of sex and nudity, foul language, alcohol, drugs and tobacco. moderate scenes of fear and terror. high content of violence and gore. in this first chapter, not more than that. pretty calm chapter, introductory. some steamy kissing hehe.
4.⠀⠀AUTHOR 'S NOTE⠀⠀:⠀⠀first chapter out! i really really hope you like this silly story! this is just the beginning, a little bit of introduction to the backstory of the characters, and scenes you already know from the show. enjoy 🤍
5.⠀⠀IMPORTANT⠀⠀:⠀⠀this is a work of fiction. i do not own arcane or any content produced or owned bychristian linke, alex yee, riot games or netflix. all rights belong to netflix and the writers of arcane. all plot events and character developments that are not related to the main character's story belong to the writers and creators of the series.
You rested your hand on the rough wooden wall after reaching the last step, and paused your movements. Just for an instant, you allowed yourself to close your eyes and take a breath of air. You rolled one of the screws you'd been working with between your fingers, the shine of the stained metal glinting next to the chipped nails painted a dirty maroon colour, and forced yourself to walk along the small landing at the back of The Last Drop. You ignored the dull ache in your ankle, which crept up your leg if you stepped too hard, and the animated murmur of people greeted you as you opened the door, swallowing the silence that had surrounded you for most of the afternoon.
Despite the heavy gloom that shrouded the downside of the town, you had to squint at the large lamps in the shop, illuminating the large room with an amber light. You tucked the screw in one of the pockets of your cargo trousers, rotating your shoulders to release some of the tightness that had taken over them after an afternoon slouching in the studio, and made your way clumsily towards the bar counter. You caught a glimpse of Vander's broad back skilfully pouring two pints of beer for one of The Last Drop's regulars, and grimaced. You knew he would be working —it was his establishment, after all— but you didn't want to meet his disapproving gaze.
You raised your hand in a quick wave when the guy who had just paid for the two beers, Huck, smiled at you, and you mentally thanked that Vander was too busy following him with his eyes to notice that you had disobeyed his request for rest. You let him concentrate on the irregular-looking meeting the man with the dark ponytail was about to carry out with the two strangers Vander watched over, vigilant, and slid awkwardly under the plank that separated the inside of the bar from the rest of the place. Hopefully, if he was too busy he wouldn't say anything.
‘Where did you leave your watchdog, sweetheart?’ you heard, and got startled by how close Sevika's low, honeyed voice sounded, sitting on one of the bar's high stools, the criminal's sharp gaze glinting with amusement, hidden behind her own jug.
‘None of your business,’ you replied, but a smile danced on your lips as you faced her, your hands resting on the metal cover of the counter, damp against your skin. She smiled too, a sort of reply to the game you always played with each other, and set the jug down in front of you.
‘But it's strange not to see her glued to you,’ she replied, the caricaturistic pout in her mouth a mocking sneer at the person she was talking about, Vander's older adopted daughter.
Her golden breastplate shimmered under the spotlights hanging from the ceiling above you, her dark jacket fading into the shadows, and you rolled your eyes playfully. You could hear a soft melody from the gramophone you had managed to fix a few months ago, but it was completely drowned out by the shouts of those winning and losing at the pool tables to your right. Sevika loved to pick on you, throwing comments that you answered in a scathing manner, with that haughty little girl's mask that had earned you a fight or two.
They were harmless words. She'd throw a jab, you wouldn't stay silent. But that night the absence of the lively group of teenagers Vander was in charge of seemed more present than usual, and it made your heart hammer just to think that their unaccustomed delay was because something unexpected had happened. You reached into the inside pocket of your threadbare leather vest and pulled out the old hand-watch you always carried with you. The hands seemed to be moving too fast, a tick-tock-tick-tock that anticipated an uncertain outcome.
‘I thought I told you to stay downstairs,’ Vander murmured behind you, the comforting sound of his voice enveloping you like the hand he rested on your shoulder. His fists had once been wielders of daunting violence, you'd been told, his strong, dangerous-looking arms characteristics attached to his name and reputation, but you'd only known the tenderness with which they could embrace you.
‘I get bored alone in there,’ you confessed, pouting, ignoring the breathy laughter of the criminal in front of you. It wasn't true, as everyone who met you knew how easily you were able to abstract yourself in any situation. The truth was that the living room of the small home Vander had built under the pub felt lifeless if your friends weren't in it.
You didn't say it, but it was implied in the softness that tinged the man's gaze when he looked at you. He slid his hand from your shoulder to your arm, as he had done so often since you had known him, always a gesture of understanding and comfort, and you listened to his reproach with brows furrowed upwards, accepting his words.
‘Still, you shouldn't overwork that foot until it's fully healed.’
Sevika made a noise of affirmation, a victim of enough injuries to know what was best for a simple sprain, and it served as enough convincing to let Vander take you by the waist and sit you in one swift movement on the counter. A sigh of relief spilled from your mouth, which you didn't hold back just to let the bartender know he was right, and you thanked him with a smile, the clock still racing against time in your hand.
They weren't back yet, and you couldn't ask Vander if he'd heard anything about a disturbance topside, because it would imply that you had full knowledge of what your friends were up to behind their father's back. It had been a mistake to rush into planning the heist, and even more so knowing that you could not be a part of it, having been forced to rest after a silly sprained ankle a couple of weeks ago while trying to jump from one building to another. It had been a bet with Mylo, the annoying middle brother who knew what strings to pull to make you act out of pride, but you had all agreed not to tell anyone about it.
He disappeared into the crowd with his inseparable pipe between his lips, and you deflated, sliding off the bar and onto the floor to run away.
‘Can I have another before you go, you damned little wraith?’ asked Sevika, pushing her empty jug towards you with her fingers, compassion floating in her gaze. She too had been a child, she too had kept secrets from her father.
You merely nodded, turning back to her to pick up the metal glass, and stood on your tiptoes to reach the beer tap, wincing as you flexed your ankle. You waited for the bubbling foam to reach the rim of the jug, almost spilling over your fingers, and your pulse trembled as you caught a fleeting glimpse of turquoise hair in the back of the crowd. The same turquoise hair that you had braided and decorated that very morning, still sitting up in bed, with a twin screw to the one in your pocket.
Powder. The youngest of all of you, last in the group line. Leading the way, Vi's strong figure, camouflaged under the hood of a sleeveless jacket, marking a quick step towards the door you had exited just minutes before. Your heart began to stutter against your ribcage, realising that they wouldn't be coming in unnoticed, head down, if something terrible hadn't happened. And they weren't carrying the backpack they'd left with.
You set Sevika's jug down on the counter perhaps a little harder than necessary, giving her a nod by way of farewell, and duck under the table to retrace your steps, limping your way to the door through which Vander's four adopted children had just sneaked in. Your breath caught in your throat as you took the first step, pain running like electricity through the muscles in your leg, but you clenched your teeth and continued forward, stumbling as you opened the second door, pausing for a moment before attempting to continue on one foot.
‘Vander learns none of this,’ Vi was saying, her raspy voice cutting through the air in a sharp warning.
Oh, no. Something had definitely gone wrong.
Whatever Mylo was about to say got drowned out by the silence the four of them fell into as you put your injured foot on one of the wooden timbers you had marked as squeaky, and you bit your lip, placing most of your weight on the handrail. You knew that if your ankle still hadn't healed after two weeks it was because you were incapable of sitting still, but every time you got a jolt of pain like that, you wished you'd laid in bed for days. You bent over slightly, frowning, muttering a soft, ‘It's me, it's me, don't worry’.
You heard Vi's quiet sigh as you massaged your ankle, the soft sound of the armchair as she stood up, and every step she took until you saw the tips of her boots on the step below the one you were on. She rested the palm of her hand between your shoulder blades, and you let its warmth run across the leather of your vest, feeling her hand slide to the small of your back, its comforting touch making you let out a soft whimper. When you looked up you saw concern swimming in her gaze. All you wanted was to flash a calming smile.
‘It's alright,’ you said, taking a breath, carefully placing your foot on the floor and getting up. ‘I'm alright, how are you guys?’
‘We're good, cupcake,’ she whispered, sliding her hand around your waist, drawing circles with her thumb over the small sliver of skin between your vest and the waistband of your trousers, as if in a rehearsed choreography: the uneasiness of one face mirroring the distress of the other, both trying to reassure one another. ‘Come here, yeah?’
You huffed, but let her anyway. Vi moved her hand slightly up, towards the curve of your waist, hovering over you, and you had to stifle a gasp as she caught you in her arms, her warm palm against your back once it slipped under your shirt. You couldn't help the way the end of your lips curved upwards, a mirror image of the one you felt on hers as she pressed a quick kiss to your temple, and you slipped an arm around her neck as she began to descend the stairs, pressing you against her body.
‘You stink,’ you said, ignoring the way her t-shirt clung to her sweaty chest, how the fringe of her pinkish hair fell over her eyes. You tucked it behind her ear, sliding your fingers over the bruise that had already begun to form on her cheek, and frowned. ‘What happened?’
‘Powder jinxed the plan,’ Mylo replied, and you turned to him, who was sprawled on the couch, next to Claggor, his feet on the coffee-table, his arms folded, and looking just as dishevelled and dirty as the rest. ‘Again,’ he added, and Vi's chest rose with a tired sigh alongside you.
‘I tried, okay?’ replied Powder, wrinkling her freckled nose as Vi turned around the couch she was sitting on, with you in her arms. ‘You don't get it,’ the little girl complained, ‘you're older, you're bigger.¡ You left a soft kiss on Vi's jaw as a silent thank you before she carefully settled you down next to her sister, and you tried to imagine what had happened to make Powder have to defend herself that way. ‘It, it isn't fair.’
You caught a glimpse of Mylo's gaze, his eyebrows raised in disbelief, and then you turned your face to Powder, huddled against the sofa with his knees drawn up to his chest. And you got angry. It wasn't the first time the boy had reflected his own insecurities back at her, jabbing at her with phrases that undermined her confidence, and though you always tried to keep your cool, telling him off in private afterwards, there were times when it pained you not to stand up for her out loud so as not to pick a fight.
‘Of course it isn't fair,’ you interjected, glaring at Mylo, folding your good leg under your body to make yourself more comfortable. You felt Powder's eyes on you, hanging on your every word. ‘You're more experienced too,’ you continued, leaning your head against the backrest in a lazy gesture, as if the conversation was boring you. ‘I still remember the kind of things you used to do when you were Powder's age.’
Before you could tell some ridiculous anecdote about him, at least to try to cheer Powder up, the door burst open, Vander's powerful figure appeared in the doorway, and the words died in your throat. Tense, the five of you stood still, waiting for a reaction from the owner of The Last Drop.
‘Everyone alright?’ he asked, coming down the stairs agonisingly slowly.
You saw Mylo remove his feet from the table in a hurry, sitting up, and the tightness in his attempt at a smile as he spoke.
‘Never better,’ he replied.
‘Good,’ Vander pronounced, his voice dangerously calm, taking his time getting downstairs. ‘I don't suppose you can explain why it is that hearing about an explosion and a foot chase topside?’
You didn't see him, but you heard his footsteps behind you, calculated, restrained, and it took you a second longer than necessary to process the words that had just come out of his mouth. An explosion? And a chase, a foot chase. You opened your eyes in surprise and turned slightly towards him, but he wasn't looking at you, his gaze locked on Vi. He'd known about it practically all afternoon and hadn't said anything to you. It was obvious. You wondered if he wouldn't ask you to stay downstairs instead of helping him pour beer to keep you from finding out too. Would Sevika have any idea of that?
‘Four children fleeing the scene,’ he added, as if it wasn't clear enough.
If the enforcers had chased them to the limits between topside and undercity, they would do whatever it took to search house to house and find the culprits. Especially after collapsing a building, and particularly if valuables had been stolen. You felt Powder's hand slip around your arm, hiding in the tiny gap between your body and the couch, and you tried to make eye contact with Vi, unsure of what to say without really knowing the circumstances of what had happened, but she avoided your gaze.
‘What the hell were you thinking?’ inquired Vander, the measured tone doing nothing to try and disguise the frustration in his words.
Your heart raced in your chest. There had been many versions of the conversation that had started, softer, more lighthearted, in the past, but you could tell the anger buried in father and daughter with just a glance —Vi's frown, her fists clenched, and the tension in Vander's shoulders. Vi's voice didn't falter as she answered.
‘That we can handle a real job.’
Vander's response was just as quick, his scepticism lashing out like a whip, ‘A real job?’
‘We got our tip, planned a route, nobody even saw.’ she said, and just the quick glance she gave you after uttering it made you bite your tongue. She said we, which wasn't a lie, but she used the loophole of your involvement in the planning so that Vander wouldn't scold you too.
‘You blew up a building!’ he exclaimed, and you flinched.
‘That wasn't…’ Vi blinked at her father, as if the fact that they were all home meant it hadn't been that big a deal, but was interrupted by a barrage of accusatory questions.
‘Did you even stop to think about what could have happened to you?’ demanded Vander, and you began to feel the guilt creep up your throat. ‘Huh? To them?’
You perceived the way Vander pointed towards the two couches facing each other, the ones where you and Powder and the two boys were sitting, but you weren't really looking at him. Once he had said it, you could only notice everything you hadn't when you had seen them after their absence: the little girl's scraped knee, Claggor's bloody shirt around his neck, the tiny particles of dust and plaster in Mylo's spiky hair. The bruise you'd caressed, a gaping cut on Vi's other cheekbone.
Playing at being criminals was practically harmless in the undercity, always backed by Vander's intimidating reputation, but going up to Piltover to loot was something else entirely. There was a risk that became all too real, you moved under rules that applied differently to those who came from where you were from. It had been too dangerous, a hazard you hadn't seen when you had planned it from the comfort of your room, and you had been the one to send them up there, while you stayed in the safety of The Last Drop.
You heard Vander sigh, defeated.
‘Where did you even get this tip?’
You felt Powder stir beside you, leaning out so her father could hear her better, ‘We just heard it at Benzo's.’
‘From?’
‘Little Man?’ she muttered in reply, unsure if telling the truth was safe, even if it was the right thing to do.
You wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her against you, as soon as you saw Vander's brow begin to furrow. He obviously didn't think it was good advice coming from an eleven-year-old, you'd seen it coming —and that was why you hadn't wanted to say anything to him— but Ekko was worth a lot more than the adults liked to think, with those quick legs and the ability to put together the most complex gadgets to learn all the secrets and whispers of Benzo's shop.
You saw Vander open his mouth to respond, but before he could articulate a word, Vi shot up from the couch, storming with anger in her voice, ‘I took us there,’ she said, face to face with her father. ‘If you wanna be mad, be mad at me. But you're the one that says we have to earn our place in this world.’
Vander sighed again, as if he were exhausted from facing the same conversation all the time.
‘I also told you time and again the Northside's off limits,’ he repeated, as he had so many times before. ‘We stay out of Piltover's business.’
‘Why?’ reproached Vi, and you could see the change in her gaze, that shift that suggested that she had had enough too, but of witnessing the social injustice that went on every day in your country, and of no one doing anything to stop it. ‘They've got plenty, while we're down here scraping together coins. When did you get so comfortable living in someone else's shadow?’
The intensity of her words left you breathless, amazed that she had dared to utter what she had so often whispered to you when she was angry with Vander and needed someone to talk to. There was a deathly silence in the room, tense and thick, and you all respected it, knowing that the conversation had become too personal.
‘Everyone out.’
You made the attempt to stand up, ready to intervene, to try to negotiate a situation in which no one regrets what can be said, even if you don't have a say in the situation. Play mediator, something you've always been good at. But before you can open your mouth, Vander is giving you a harsh look.
‘Out,’ he repeated.
You looked up at Vi, who was frowning, but her eyes softened as she met yours and saw your expression. She nodded almost imperceptibly, resting a hand on your shoulder, and helped you up to get out of there. You knew they needed to talk to each other, but it stung that you couldn't be there to protect her if Vander went too far with his words. You sighed, remembering that he would never hurt his children, and limped a few metres, followed by Powder. You heard Claggor and Mylo rise behind you, waiting for you to go up the stairs. You were prideful enough not to accept help from anyone, even if your cheeks were flushed red from how long it took you to get to the top.
You closed the door after Powder passed last, and leaned your back against the wooden surface, closing your eyes for a moment. You were grateful that Mylo didn't make any of his comments, and only turned away when Powder demanded your attention, puffing upwards at her fringes.
‘Can I go look in the pipes outside?’ she murmured, her restless legs trembling to get the hell out of there.
‘Yes, of course,’ you replied, smiling at her.
You placed a hand on the wall once you saw her disappear down the stairs where Claggor had sat, and took a step towards him, leaning on his shoulder so that you could sit next to him. You rested your head on his shoulder, sighing, and ignored the gadget Mylo pulled out of one of his many pockets to gossip the conversation.
‘Was it that bad?’ you asked, your voice low.
‘Pretty much,’ Claggor told you, shifting underneath you. ‘We don't know what caused the explosion, we just ran out of there as soon as it happened.’
‘But you're all okay, aren't you?’ you wanted to clarify, trying to imagine all the scenarios that had happened. You hadn't seen many explosions in your life, but the four of them had come back in one piece, and that would have to calm you down. It should, at least.
‘Except for the part where Powder lost the bag we were bringing the stuff in,’ Mylo chimed in, glueing his ear to the goldish device, and you rolled your eyes. He had to be joking, putting a couple expensive items above his and everyone else's safety.
‘We're all okay, yeah,’ Claggor replied, and you turned your head slightly so you could smile at him. ‘How are you doing with the...?’
‘Shh,’ interrupted the youngest of you three, his eyes widening, ‘Vander's telling her that it's her responsibility what happens to us.’
‘I'm fine, Clag,’ you continued, ignoring Mylo's words. ‘It hurts less and less every day.’
‘And now he's asking for the stuff!’ he interrupted again, raising his voice slightly.
‘You are aware that eavesdropping on other people's conversations is rude, right?’ you sighed, shooting him an amused look, knowing he wouldn't care. Mylo was a nosy one.
He didn't answer you, too busy analysing every word of what was being said on the other side of the door, and you shook your head slightly, leaning part of your body against Claggor. You felt your ankle throbbing, protesting at the effort you had put it through, and your head was beginning to ache. You needed to think of something to convince Vander that it wasn't all Vi's fault, that if there was a punishment, it wouldn't fall on the rest of them.
Staring blankly at the floor, you waited. You decided you would follow Vander back to the bar to talk to him, even if it was just to find out how the situation had affected both the topside and Vi. You figured she'd want to be alone, but when she felt ready you'd return to her arms, as always. And then Claggor tapped your knee gently, urging you to pay attention, and you saw the look of concentration on Mylo's face as he failed to hear Vander's heavy footsteps —which you could literally hear without his gadget.
When he finally realised that the man was on the other side of the door, he jerked away, turning hurriedly to pretend that he had been waiting with you and Claggor, his back to both of you. The towering figure of Vander appeared with a large sack slung over his shoulder, and a scowl on his face, though it was the serious face he adopted in his day to day life. Perhaps it hadn't gone so badly after all.
‘Get up, Claggor,’ he said, closing the door behind him, ‘we're going out.’
‘Wait, now?’ he complained, huffing.
You lifted your head from his shoulder, offering him an apologetic smile. If your foot were okay you would have offered to accompany Vander in his place, but even in that situation you had to recognise that too much walking would cause irreparable damage to your ankle. You stroked his shoulder encouragingly, grimacing as you saw the colour the bruise in his eye was beginning to take on, and watched him stand up, as Vander snatched Mylo's device from him.
You listened to his complaints as Vander ignored them, and ducked your gaze when he faced Mylo, ‘You wanna be treated like adults, right?’
He threw the bag at Claggor, who had to lean on the steps to keep from falling, and you tried to get to your feet to help him, wincing as you rested your foot irremediably on the ground. It was hard to figure out the specific mood of Vander at that moment, the tonality of his words contrasting with the way he treated you.
‘Then you should know better than to come back from a job empty-handed,’ Vander said, resting his hand on the handrail to start walking up. You stepped aside, stepping down to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Mylo, and avoided looking at him as he spoke the final words, ‘I'm going to have a little word with your informant.’
You exchanged one last glance with Claggor, mouthing a quiet ‘Good luck’ before he nodded in defeat, following in Vander's footsteps, disappearing up the stairs Powder had gone a few minutes before. You leaned your back against the closed door that led to the bar, realising that the plan you had in mind had fallen like cards blown by the wind, and considered simply heading off to bed to rest.
‘You coming?’ muttered Mylo, bumping his shoulder against yours.
‘Huh?’ you looked at him, momentarily unsure what he was referring to, until he nodded his head towards the door.
‘Let me help you,’ he asked, holding out his hand in front of you, ‘don't be stubborn.’
You folded your arms, snorting, and played hard to get.
‘You know Vi would kill me if she found out I let you walk down those stairs by yourself again,’ he added, one hand over his chest dramatically, as if suffering the wrath of your girlfriend was probably the worst possible fate —and you didn't doubt it.
You rolled your eyes playfully and accepted his hand, slipping your arm over his shoulders and letting him wrap his around your waist, making it easier for you to limp. You walked slowly down the stairs, focused on not falling, and you were almost relieved about the absence of that dull ache in your ankle. You had to start taking better care of yourself.
Vi's figure greeted you just as you had left her, slumped in her armchair, one leg up on the armrest and her head resting on one hand. You pouted at the sight of her, worn out and for a moment looking older than she actually was, but the expression on her face morphed into just a smile, sitting up slightly at the sight of you. Mylo guided you in front of her, one hand still on your waist in case you wanted to sit elsewhere, and you thanked him, leaning on the armrest still free of the armchair.
You heard Mylo pick up a ball and plop down on the couch you'd been sitting on with Powder, but all your attention went to Vi, her greyish gaze, calm, soft, and the way her hands slid down your hip, yours tangling in her hair.
‘Hey, pretty girl,’ you murmured, your lips drawing a soft curve over your mouth, ‘everything okay?’
She smiled in response, dropping her head against the back of the chair and letting out a long sigh. With her eyes narrowed, and her hands clasped around you, the ends of her smile spread a little wider, and suddenly you were pulled into her lap. You muffled a gasp of surprise, spilling laughter onto her skin, and settled into her arms.
‘Now? Hell yeah,’ she replied, his lips brushing your temple.
‘How are you feeling?’ you said, your voice barely a whisper, snuggling against her.
‘Exhausted,’ she admitted, and you began to trace shapes on her arm with your fingertips, ‘I really missed you today.’
You pouted at her words, turning your head away a little so you could look into her eyes, ‘I really missed you too,’ you replied. ���My studio felt too quiet.’
‘Did you make any progress?’ she asked, shifting her body so that she could stand as close to you as possible, still looking you in the eye.
‘Yes!’ you exclaimed, sitting up slightly so you could explain. ‘I've fixed the wing mechanism! It works perfectly now, and it doesn't make that awful noise. I even tested it, and it's able to stay in the air, so I'll be able to create the first sample in no time.’
‘That's amazing, cupcake,’ she commented, smiling proudly. Whenever you were asked about an invention you were working on, you started babbling information, and Vi was one of the few who actually paid attention to what you were saying. ‘Next up is designing the body, right?’
You nodded, remembering that the reason you'd gone up to The Last Drop in the first place had been that you'd promised yourself to ask Vi if she wanted to be involved in the design. You'd had to leave the mechanical crow halfway through, waiting for her response.
‘Wanna help me?’ you said, turning to her and tucking a pink lock of hair behind her ear. You let your palm linger on her cheek for a moment, melting as Vi pressed her face against your skin, closing her eyes, and added, ‘The idea was yours.’
‘The idea was Ekko's,’ she whispered, correcting you, turning her face so she could press a kiss to your palm, and then she looked up at you, the grey of her gaze warm against yours, ‘but I'll be happy to help.’
You lowered yourself over her, swallowing her breath, and joined your lips in a tender kiss. Vi wasn't a big fan of grand displays of affection in public, except for the occasional protective gesture that always worked if she felt a little jealous of the way you were being looked at in the street, and kissing was usually reserved for when you were completely alone. So you were surprised when she sighed against your mouth and bit your lower lip, slipping her tongue in as soon as you let her. The taste of her distracted you, and you slid your hands up her shoulders, feeling her hands anchor around your waist, drawing you into her body.
But then you brushed your thumb over her cheekbone, as you always did, and felt her wince in pain. You pulled away, fearful, and remembered the cut you had seen earlier. Much to your reluctance, you decided to pause the kiss, leaving one last peck on her lips that she chased, and you smiled at her, changing the subject.
‘And the studio topside?’ you wanted to know, picking up the conversation where you had left off. ‘Was it as cool as Ekko predicted?’
‘Oh, it was otherworldly!’ she exhaled, breathy, as if trying to focus on what you had said, remembering her failed incursion. ‘Truth is you would've loved it, with all those tools and maths equations, and the weird, complex artefacts.’
‘Maybe if I had gone, things would have had a different outcome,’ you sighed, resting your forehead on hers, closing your eyes.
‘Maybe,’ she conceded, drawing comforting circles on your hip bones, 'but you had to rest.’
‘I know,’ you acknowledged, trying not to let the guilt seep into your voice. Then you pulled away slightly, your hands still resting on her shoulders, ‘now you have to rest.’
‘Do I?’ she asked, amusement in her eyes, smiling.
‘Of course you do!’ you said, analysing the wounds on his face. ‘And wash up too. You still have blood in your face.’
‘Aren't you going to ask how the fight went?’ she inquired, humming, bringing her hands up to your lips to undo the pout with soft fingertips.
You raised your eyebrows at her words, as if the answer was obvious, ‘Oh, you won.’
‘Yeah, I did,’ she replied, chuckling under her breath.
You slid your gaze across her face, taking in each small wound, the smeared blood from the cut on her brow, the gradual colour of the bruises on her cheeks, and then slid it around the room, looking for something to treat her wounds with.
And then you saw the open bottle of alcohol on the table, a solitary drop of liquid sliding on the glass, and you knew that Vander had been the one to smear the blood on Vi's brow. It had been a friendly conversation, then. You smiled at the thought.
‘Let me clean you those wounds, yeah?’ you whispered, caressing your girlfriend's jaw before getting up to reach for the bottle.
‘As you wish,’ she replied, waiting for you to sit back on her lap, her fingers tingling to touch your skin again.
But you stood in front of the armchair, pulling a roll of bandages from the small pocket on your belt, always ready to be able to change the ones Vi wore from her knuckles to the forearm of her right hand. You took your time cutting a generous piece, pouring alcohol on the cloth and tapping Vi's leg on the armrest to get her to move it.
She huffed, raising her hands in a gesture of defeat, and sat with her legs together, leaving you the perfect gap for your knees to rest on the sides of her hips. Once back in her lap, you cupped her face with one hand, palm holding part of her jaw so she couldn't move it, and blew on the cut on her cheek before pulling the wet bandage over it.
You saw a drop slide off her skin before the alcohol touched the open wound, and her brow furrow as you slid the cloth across her cheekbone, sucking in a sharp intake. You looked at her, knowing it was going to sting anyway, but she kept her eyes closed, concentrating on not moving. You wiped it off as quickly as you could, moving on to the half smeared cut on her eyebrow, and Vi held still, her hands tense on your waist, until you discarded the bandage, leaving it on the table behind your back.
Then you took her face in your hands, whispering that it was done, and laid six quick kisses on her bruised cheeks, all soft caresses of your lips on her skin. She smiled at the attention, running her hands up your back to slip under your shirt, but you stopped her, aware that she had forgotten Mylo's presence in the room.
You turned to him, seeing that he had been turned towards the back of his couch, trying to give you as much privacy as possible, and questioned him.
‘Hey, Mylo, you got any cuts you want me to clean up?’
He stirred, rolling over until he was sprawled on his back, and picked up the ball he'd left between the couch cushions, his gaze unfocused.
‘You know, Powder's a problem,’ he said, as if he hadn't heard a word, running his free hand over his face to snap out of his trance.
‘Oh my God, you've been overthinking all this time about that?’ you exhaled, disbelief painting your voice.
Vi sighed, resting her forehead on your shoulder, exhausted, ‘Mylo, I'm really not...’
‘Do you remember what was in the bag?’ he interrupted, throwing the ball against the wall in front of him and catching it on the fly.
You rolled your eyes, tired of his obsessive attitude.
‘Jeez, I'm sure it wasn't as...’ but he interrupted you too.
‘The biggest payout we've ever seen,’ he continued, giving vent to his complaints, not understanding why you didn't give it the same importance. ‘And she just lost it.’
‘She made a mistake.’ Vi leaned back in the armchair, resting her head on her hand.
‘Name one time she hasn't.’
‘Myls, she's still young,’ you tried to interject, defending Powder while avoiding creating an argument, as usual.
‘Don't bullshit me,’ he said, still determined to blame her for all his problems. ‘Vi was twice the person half her age.’
‘Vi had to grow up way too soon and fight for Powder to have a decent childhood without parents,’ you countered, starting to stand up, the knee of your bad foot still propped up on the couch so as not to overload it, but giving Mylo a venomous look. ‘Do not bullshit me.’
Vi put a hand on your hip, her hand warm against your skin, and helped you sit on the armrest, then propping her elbows on her knees so that she was face to face with her adopted little brother.
‘You know what, Mylo? You're right,’ she said slowly, sensing the way you tensed behind her back. She wasn't going to agree with him, was she? ‘There's a bunch of things Powder can't do.’
‘You don't have to tell me twice,’ he said, a hint of superiority spilling out of his mouth.
‘Like complaining about everything,’ Vi continued, sitting up, and you allowed yourself to relax, knowing she was going to teach him a lesson.
‘What?’ Mylo frowned, the ball tapping rhythmically on the wall in front of him.
‘And brag non stop.’
‘Okay, okay, I see where this is going...’ he replied, sitting up in his corner of the couch as Vi towered over him, catching the ball in mid-flight. You crossed your arms over your chest, remaining silent.
‘Pick fights with the group when we need to focus.’
Mylo gave a nervous chuckle, ‘Vi, I...’
‘And tell strangers on the street that we got a nice haul,’ she finished, her back to you. You couldn't see her face, but you could see his regretful gesture.
‘Oh my god, you did what?’ you muttered, surprised. If Powder lost the stuff then it was because she had to defend herself from a fight that Mylo had probably started. And Powder wasn't much of a fighter.
‘I, I didn't mean to,’ he defended himself.
‘Powder's my problem, okay?’ announced Vi, to which you nodded. They had both been through too much. Even if they lived under the same roof as Mylo, Claggor, and even you, their relationship was always going to tie them together in a much deeper way. ‘Your problem is never knowing when to shut up,’ you watched as she moved even closer to him, face to face, and lowered her voice so he could hear her clearly, ’but I'm gonna help you with that. Ready? You see this look on my face?’ she pointed to her face, and you saw Mylo swallow, nodding. ‘This will always mean it's time to shut up.’
‘But...’ he tried to say, to which Vi pointed to her face again, ‘I...’ she did it again and he groaned.
You couldn't help but let out a giggle, covering your mouth with your hand as Mylo rolled his eyes, giving up, and dropped his head against the couch. Without a word he put his hand to his lips, running his fingers over them as if he were zipping it, and stood up quickly, hurrying up the path to the stairs. As soon as he was gone, Vi turned to you.
‘Where were we?’ she asked, approaching you with a smile tugging at her lips.
You slid down the armrest until you were sitting on the cushion, and opened your arms to receive her, beaming. She knelt in front of you, wrapping her arms around your waist, and shuddered as you slipped your fingers into her hair. She closed her eyes, sighing, and left six quick kisses on the sliver of skin that peeked between your shirt and the waistband of your trousers, over your hip bone.
You giggled, wiggling your hips, and asked her, ‘Why was that?’
‘I don't know,’ she said, resting her chin on your belly, looking up at you with sparkling eyes, 'you always give me six kisses on the cheek.’
‘You always hurt your cheekbone, which is different,’ you corrected, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear, ’I just give you kisses to make it heal faster.’
‘And why six?’
You looked away, embarrassed, and cleared your throat before confessing.
‘A while ago Sevika told me,’ you began, remembering when the criminal had discovered your obvious crush on your best friend, ’that there is an ancient type of number, Roman numerals, which are written with letters. And the ones in the number six are a v and an i.’
‘Vi,' she whispered, surprised, ‘my name.’
‘I don't know if it's true or if she was lying to me,’ you acknowledged, smiling between your flushed cheeks, ’but it's been my favourite number ever since.’
You watched her close her eyes, sighing a disbelieving laugh against your skin, and murmured a quiet "Oh, I love you", her lips still moving as she lifted her head so she could look at you again. She sat up a little, seeking her mouth with yours, and you bent low enough to kiss her again, both of you alone this time.
You slid your hand through the portion of her hair that was partially shaved, an impulsive decision she had made a few years ago, and drew her to you, knowing which parts of her face you shouldn't touch to avoid hurting her further. She dug her fingers into your flesh, opening her lips over yours, and you stifled a whimper when you had her in your mouth again.
When she slid her tongue over your neck, aiming to drown in your skin, and you managed to take a breath of air, you remembered that Vander could be back at any moment. And reluctantly, you had to make the decision to stop.
‘Hey, pretty girl,’ you inhaled, closing your eyes as you felt her open-mouthed kiss against the crook of your shoulder, ‘someone could walk in at any moment.’
She didn't stop, lost in you, and you had to make a superhuman effort not to just blow it all off and ask her to keep going.
‘Vi, baby,’ you tried again, ’c'mon.’
‘Fuck,’ she murmured under her breath, resting her forehead on your chest. ‘One day..., one day I'm going to have you all to myself. I swear.’
‘We'll decide on what day that will happen,’ you promised her, leaving another kiss on her lips, ‘I need it to come soon.’
She kissed you back, forgetting what you had just said, and you had to resort to another way of convincing her.
‘Besides, Powder would really appreciate it if you went to see her,’ you murmured against her mouth, ‘I'm sure she needs her big sis right now.’
Vi feigned a pout, ‘And you don't need your big girlfriend with you?’
‘I think I can survive without you for a moment,’ you replied, laughing as she put her hand over her heart, making it look like she was too hurt by your words. You quickly corrected yourself, ‘but just for a moment. I need you right back, huh?’
Her lips curved into a smile, the soft freckles on her cheeks stretching with happiness, and she ran her mouth up your neck, trailing kisses over your skin until she reached your lips. Exactly six.
‘I'll be right back, then,’ she said, rising to her feet.
‘I'll be waiting,’ you replied, your hand entwined with her.
She began to walk slowly backwards, stretching your arms until your fingers inevitably parted, and you curled up on the couch as you watched her disappear before you.
You leaned your head back against the backrest, listening to your girlfriend's footsteps climb the stairs to the upper floor, where the bedrooms were. Powder had probably done enough rummaging through the old plumbing outside, always on the lookout for new gadgets for her little inventions, and you reminded yourself to check the last ones she'd made to see if they worked. Ever since you had taught her everything you had learned among the streets of the Lanes, her passion had been to imitate the complex mechanisms she saw in your workshop —though no doubt with a more atomic outcome.
You adored that little girl.
Thinking of her, her wonderful big sister and what the future would bring, you spent some time lying on Vi's couch, resting your ankle, until you moved and your pocket watch dug into your ribs. When you pulled it out you saw it was so late that there was no point in waiting to see if the others would come back.
You walked up the stairs with a pipe-turned-cane that Vander had left around in the hope that pride wouldn't prevent you from using it, and took refuge in Vi's unmade bed.
It was later in the night, when you heard Powder hushing Vi to enter the room in complete silence, that you felt your girlfriend's arms slip around you in an embrace, pressing herself close to you to sleep beside you.
‘We're going to be fine, right?’ you asked, half asleep, your voice mushy and your eyes still closed.
‘Of course, cupcake,’ she whispered back, her lips moving against the skin of your shoulder. ‘I promise.’
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Bound by Secrets
Pairing: Azriel x Beron’s daughter!reader
Summary: When you get caught sneaking around the Hewn City, you end up in one of the dungeon cells to be interrogated by the infamous Spymaster. But things don't go exactly the way the General and the High Lord thought.
Warnings: mentions of sex, allusions to torture and scars
Word count: 6.4k
A/N: Okay sooo, I got a bit carried away with the first part and it came out longer than anticipated, with Az coming in at around word 1.7k. I know it’s a lot without him since it's his appreciation week, but the build-up is worth it (hopefully) and seeing how long the whole fic turned out to be, I hope you don't mind too much. There's still a lot of Azriel, I swear! (and I might have gone a little bit off-topic but shh it's fine). Anyway, happy @azrielappreciationweek everyone!
You knew being here was dangerous.
The Hewn City was not a place you could simply sneak into, and yet here you were, lurking in a corner of the throne room, waiting for the right moment to slip out and search for the treasury.
You had been sent there with a mission: find the Veritas Orb. How your father knew where it was, or what he needed it for, was not information you had been made privy to. But the High Lord of the Autumn Court had been clear: you were to steal the Orb as soon as possible. Knowing the kind of punishment he dealt when disappointed, you always did your best to comply. That left you with little time to prepare and, apparently, a huge number of problems.
Because just as you were about to make an unseen exit through the hallway you had previously selected, every single person in the crowd stiffened, and the chattering stopped abruptly, plunging the room into a silence so deep you could hear a pin drop.
As you turned to see what had happened, you realized everyone was staring at the entrance doors, just as they swung open. One look at the two tall figures slowly stalking in, and you knew you needed to get out before it was too late.
You blended into the shadows against the wall as the Spymaster and the General of the Army made their way to the dais on the other side of the hall. A smudge of red and gold was all you caught out of the corner of your eye when the Morrigan entered, just as you bolted down the hallway.
The High Lord and High Lady would be next. And if they caught you not only in their Court, but in their underground city as well, you'd be in serious trouble. You couldn't risk it. You needed to get out.
Yet you couldn't leave. Not without the Orb. Fear seized you for a split second at the mere thought of the pain you would suffer at your father's hands if you were to fail, and then you broke into a sprint—or as close to a sprint as you could manage with the high heels you had worn to blend in with the Hewn City inhabitants.
A thrum of power reached you despite the distance you had already put between yourself and the throne room, a clear sign of the High Lord and Lady’s arrival. You needed to hurry.
“Damn heels,” you muttered under your breath. You stopped long enough to take them off, gather them in your hands, and resume your run. At least your night-black dress was loose enough around the legs to allow you to move freely.
You had no idea where the treasury was. Your father didn't know, merely telling you the Orb was likely kept there—as if that helped. But you wouldn't consider where else it could be, instead choosing to focus on one thing at a time.
You wandered through the hallways, peering into every room you could find. Most of them were studies, sitting rooms, or smaller chambers for holding court. None of them what you were looking for.
Pushing a heavy wooden door open, you discovered a staircase that spiraled down. The basement. Or dungeons, you guessed, summoning a flame in your hand to light the steps as you began the descent. It made sense for the treasury to be on a lower level—harder to reach and easier to hide. That was where your father kept his most treasured possessions as well.
The stairs ended in a long hallway with many other tunnels branching off. You chose one out of instinct and kept going like that for a while, trying to remember every turn you took. The place was like a maze and there was nothing to, with nothing to distinguish the different paths. But eventually, your seemingly random choices paid off, and/because you found yourself in front of large, unguarded double doors. Upon closer inspection, you realized they were warded, hence the lack of actual guards.
With a smirk, you placed your palm on the knob and summoned more of your power. Your hand became a bright shade of orange, and a thin circle of fire spread from it, growing over the surface of the doors until it burned the spell protecting them. A little trick your oldest brother had taught you years ago.
Pulling your hand away, it returned to its normal color as you shoved the door open and walked inside.
Piles of gold lined the walls, jewels and weapons displayed in glass cabinets, and everywhere you turned, something shiny caught your eye. You delved deeper into the room, discovering beautiful pieces of artwork scattered around, but you couldn’t let them distract you from your task. You began searching the place instead, opening boxes and trunks, anything you could find, but there were no signs of the Veritas. The more you looked, the clearer it became.
The Orb wasn't there.
A frustrated sigh escaped you, and you stifled a groan as you made your way back to the tunnels, picking up the heels you had left by the door.
There had to be another room where more treasure was kept. You just had to find it. You were so sure it would be somewhere nearby that you made a stupid mistake: you didn’t count your turns, didn’t memorize when and where you had gone left or right or straight.
Maybe you should have asked for help before coming here. You had considered it, but you didn't want to endanger more people than necessary—or, even worse, have the truth discovered—and you honestly had thought you could do this alone.
You were wrong, and now you were lost. Like a damn fool.
Too caught up in your worries and rising anxiety, you did not hear the approaching steps. As you turned around the corner, you bumped into a tall, muscular body. A strong hand gripped your arm to keep you from losing balance, and the flame still flickering around your hand went out.
Now only the low gloom of the torches several feet down the tunnel illuminated the darkness.
“There you are.”
You didn’t recognize that deep, almost rough voice, but your heart jumped in your throat at sight of the leathery wings and the black scaled armor adorned with seven crimson Siphons.
You already knew who you were facing when you looked up and met the wary gaze of the General of the Night Court armies, his face half-hidden in the dark.
“There I am?” you repeated, putting on a sweet smile that didn’t reflect your internal turmoil. “Were you looking for me, General?”
His eyes narrowed as he took in your bare feet and the heels you still held in your hand. “What are you doing down here?”
You couldn’t tell if he meant down here in the Hewn City or in the tunnels below the palace. What if he knew the truth? What if he knew who you were? It could have given you a way out, it could have—
But Cassian’s grip on your arm tightened at your silence. “Answer me,” he growled. “We know someone broke into the treasury. And I know it was you.”
You shivered at his tone, at the fear that began to settle inside you, knowing you had been caught. As you tried to find a way out, you heard the words coming out of your mouth as if they were someone else’s: feigned shock at the news, deep confusion at the accusation, refined politeness when you addressed him. Hopefully, it was enough to let you off the hook.
“Why, if I may ask, would you think that was me, General?”
He didn’t seem impressed by your display of innocence. “There are very few redheads in the Hewn City, and none with fire powers. You’re from Autumn.”
Well, shit. You were so used to seeing red-haired Fae in the Autumn Court that you hadn't considered how recognizable your hair—or your powers, for that matter—could be outside of your home.
“I…”
You didn’t know what to say. You had red hair. You were suspiciously wandering in the tunnels. You had broken into the treasury using your fire. How could you find an excuse for all of that?
Your hesitation was confirmation enough for the General. His grip on your arm became almost painful. “Who are you? What were you looking for in the treasury?”
Maybe telling him the truth would help. If you revealed that you were in the Hewn City because you had no other choice, that you were not only Beron’s secret daughter but also his spy, his undercover agent, would he believe you? And if he did, would that make things better or worse for you?
Again, you thought about it for too long.
Cassian’s eyes narrowed even more. “You’re coming with me,” he ordered, nudging you along. “And you will talk, one way or another.”
You didn’t like where this was going. You didn’t like it one bit.
You could burn him, you supposed. Use your fire on him to create a distraction and run away. But you knew what kind of pain it caused, and you couldn’t bring yourself to hurt someone that way, not even him. And even if you did, where could you run? You didn’t know the place, didn't know where the hallways led or where the hiding spots were. But Cassian did. You wouldn’t get far before he found you.
You let the General lead you even deeper into the dungeons, following him without a struggle, even as the cold air bit at your skin and your gut churned in fear.
After a few minutes, you were escorted inside a small cell. There was nothing but a wooden chair in the middle of the space, right next to a grate on the floor from which hisses and growls rose up. You decided you didn’t want to know what was on the other side.
Cassian took your shoes, placing them next to the door as he gestured for you to sit. You obeyed silently and took a seat, waiting for the handcuffs, for the restraint, for the questions to start.
None of it came.
You just sat there, the General watching you intently from his spot against the wall, his stance relaxed yet alert in case you tried something. He said not a word.
You weren’t sure how much time passed before the door opened again and another male walked in. He was Illyrian too, a sword similar to Cassian’s was strapped to his back, and he wore the same armor. But his Siphons were a shade of cobalt blue, his black hair cut short, and he was surrounded by swirling shadows.
Your breath caught at the sight of the Spymaster.
Azriel’s eyes widened ever so slightly as they settled on you, his shadows frozen around his shoulders. He stood there, wings tucked tightly in, staring at you as if he could see right through your façade.
“Where is Rhys?”
The Spymaster didn’t tear his gaze away from you even as he answered. “He couldn’t leave.” His voice, cold as ice, sent a shiver down your spine. “This is the intruder?”
You held your head up high, reigning in your emotions. You wouldn’t let him intimidate you. You refused to. No matter the stories you had heard about the feared Shadowsinger of the Night Court, you wouldn’t cower. Not before him. You had suffered enough at the hands of your father to know how to deal with fear and pain.
“I found her wandering in the tunnels,” Cassian answered. “Not far from the treasury, hand wreathed in flames. She refused to say anything.”
The Spymaster assessed you, hazel eyes scanning you from head to toe. “Well, that’s about to change.” His hand lingered dangerously close to the black-hilted knife strapped to his muscular thigh.
Your brother's words echoed in your mind. “Tell him what he wants to hear.” “If you fight him, you'll only make it worse.” “Think of something nice, hold on to it, and it'll be over soon enough.” “Behave like the pliant little female he expects you to be.”
If Eris's precious advice had always worked with your father and his particular inclination for painful punishments, then maybe it would work now as well.
Azriel's gaze didn't falter as he stalked toward you, the dagger now clutched in his scarred fingers. You could have sworn his hand trembled for just a split second as he unsheathed it, but you were already looking down at your bare feet, letting your shoulders slump forward and your stiff back relax into a more submissive position.
A pair of black boots stopped right in front of you. Your heart pounded in your chest, your hands holding the armrests so tightly that your knuckles went white. The scent of night-chilled mist and cedar filled your nose as cold metal pressed just under your chin, urging you to lift your head.
You didn't fight it, meeting a pair of honeyed eyes that stared at you coolly. So close, you could see the tiny speck of green in them, even with his dilated pupils.
Cauldron, this male was beautiful. Painfully so. Bigger issues begged for your attention, but you couldn't help but admire him—the sharp features of his face, the perfect lines of his jaw, the plush lips, the way a few black curls hung over his forehead.
You didn't dare shift your position, but the urge to clench your thighs was almost overwhelming. The most inappropriate time ever.
Azriel seemed to somehow sense it, because his nostrils flared and the tip of the knife pressed a bit more under your chin, though still not enough to draw blood.
“What are you doing here?”
That voice, like silk and shadows and ice. Now you could understand why everyone feared the Shadowsinger of the Night Court.
“Why were you in the treasury?” he pressed, more demanding than before.
When you didn't answer his questions, he removed the dagger and took a step back. You glanced at the General, still standing by the door, but your focus quickly returned to the Spymaster, who had begun to circle around your chair.
Like a beast about to strike, toying with its prey before the killing blow.
“You know, this would be easier if you talked willingly.”
Shadows wrapped around both your ankles and wrists to prevent any possible movement. He was behind you now, his dagger trailing down your arm, sending all your senses on high alert.
“Or I'll have to resort to more… unpleasant methods.”
Your bindings tightened as if to prove his point and a small gasp escaped your lips. You had to say something, come up with some kind of excuse before it was too late.
“Tell him what he wants to hear.”
What did he want to hear? You couldn't very well give up the truth, could you? But maybe if you did, maybe if you tried…
Your eyes shot to the General. He was studying you with his arms crossed, nothing but distaste etched on his features.
Azriel, now on your left, noticed the direction of your gaze. He watched the other Illyrian for a few heartbeats before speaking in that low, quiet voice of his. “You know I work better when I'm alone.”
You stilled at the words. You, alone in a dungeon cell with the Spymaster? This changed everything—reshuffling all the cards, altering the odds of how this interrogation might end.
Cassian blinked, turning to face him. The two males stared at each other for what felt like ages, a silent conversation passing between them. Eventually, the General sighed.
“Fine,” he grumbled, fingers raking through his dark hair. “But alert Rhys immediately if something happens.”
The Shadowsinger seemed to hold back a scoff. “I know what I'm doing, Cassian,” he replied coolly. “I always get the information I want.”
You swallowed harshly, but Cassian gave a sharp nod and sauntered out of the cell.
As soon as the door closed behind him and his footsteps faded down the hallways, Azriel crouched in front of you, the dagger sheathed at his thigh once more. The shadows restraining you vanished.
“What the hell are you doing here, my love?”
~~~~~~
You and Azriel had met four years prior.
When you were born—the youngest and only female in a clutch of seven brothers—your father decided to keep you in the shadows. He never publicly acknowledged having a daughter, believing that no one would suspect a girl, thus raising you to serve as his undercover agent. Only your family knew of your existence, and if you hadn't gone mad over the years of confinement, it was only thanks to your sweet mother and Eris.
Beron had spent almost a century training you, molding you into his perfect little spy, and then sent you out into the world for just as long to do exactly what he had taught you.
You were attending a ball in the Day Court the first time you saw Azriel. You had already gathered the intel your father wanted about the honored guests from the Dawn Court, but you had no intention of going home earlier than scheduled. You still had until morning. And when the most beautiful male you had ever seen walked into the room as part of the Night Court delegation, you knew exactly how you wanted to spend your remaining time.
You watched him, taking in his muscular body, the massive wings, and the swirling shadows, until his eyes finally found yours through the crowd. You offered him a gentle yet unwavering smile, and your core clenched at the way he studied you as you approached him. Like he was already imagining pinning you beneath him.
It didn't take long for him to do just that. Within minutes, you found yourself in the room he was staying in, your dress discarded on the floor and his head between your thighs.
You had never felt so good as you did in those few hours.
It was almost dawn by the time you were both spent and sweaty, but you fought against exhaustion. You waited for Azriel to fall asleep, and then you slipped out of the room.
He woke up to an empty bed.
The next time you met him was a few months later. The High Lords and High Lady were all meeting in the Winter Court to discuss Prythian’s situation after the war with Hybern, but your father was paranoid. He ordered you to ensure the other courts weren’t plotting a coup against him.
You had just sneaked out of the suite reserved for the High Lord of the Summer Court and his entourage when shadows pooled at your feet, and your back was slammed against the wall. The air was snatched from your lungs at the impact, leaving you little time to take another breath before a dark dagger pressed against your throat.
Despite having spent just one night together, you immediately recognized your assailant by his scent alone.
“Didn't know you were into this kind of thing,” you drawled, looking up to meet Azriel's gaze. “Kinky. I like it.”
His eyes widened slightly as recognition dawned on him, the blade moving an inch away from your neck but no more. “It's you.”
You knew you should be bothered by the dagger, that this was a powerful male not to be trifled with, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Not when you could still remember how his lips tasted and how good he felt inside you.
“Strange way to meet again, uh?”
Azriel didn't return your smirk, nor did he step away. Instead, his voice was cold as death now that his surprise had faded. “Why are you sneaking into the suites?”
You had mastered the art of weaving lies so long ago that the answer flowed effortlessly from your lips.
“Cresseida was wearing a beautiful necklace at lunch,” you replied with a shrug. “I wanted to see if she left it in her room.”
His eyes narrowed. “So, you're a petty thief?”
Better than the truth, you thought, though a small part of you longed to confide in him, to tell him everything. A deep, innate feeling of trust had somehow bloomed in your chest. You ignored it.
“I'm a simple girl.” You offered him your most charming smile. “I see a shining jewel, and I want it for myself.”
Azriel hummed, knife still at your throat. His eyes scanned your face and you felt like he could see everything you were trying to conceal, all the secrets you'd kept locked away for years.
“You went through the suites of every Court except Autumn,” he mused, the tip of the blade tracing your jaw. You went utterly still. “Why?”
You didn't know how to answer. You didn't even know how he knew that. You'd been caught red-handed, and you had a feeling that any new lie you concocted would be pointless. So you decided to trust your gut.
“Alright.” You took a deep breath—or as deep as you dared with a sharp dagger pressed against your neck. “I work for Beron. He thinks someone might stage a coup, so he sent me to gather information.”
His eyes, which had been roaming over your features and perhaps lingered a second too long on your lips—though that could just be your imagination—snapped up to meet yours. The blade pressed a fraction harder against your skin, a clear sign of his distrust.
“For Beron?” he repeated. Not a hint of surprise or disdain marked his tone, just that icy coldness, so different from the warm voice he'd used to talk you through it in the Summer Court. “And he fears a coup?”
You wanted to sigh but didn't dare. If only he would sheath that damn dagger…
“Yes, that's what I said. And honestly, if someone does, I'm not surprised. I hope it works out for them.”
Azriel's brow arched.
“I mean, the male's horrible. He deserves it.”
You were aware of the dangerous line you were crossing, speaking of your father—your High Lord—like that to an important member of a rival court. You'd never voiced those thoughts aloud to anyone but Eris, and yet here you were. Beron would punish you if he found out. You were first his subject, then his spy, and only then his daughter.
A scarred hand cupped your jaw, Azriel's face now only inches from yours. You could feel his warm breath on your cheeks. “Why do you work for him, then?” he snarled.
His grip on your chin made it impossible to look away, forcing you to meet his golden eyes. In that moment, you let him see your truth, the honesty and vulnerability you never revealed.
“Because I don't have a choice.”
A heartbeat passed, and then his expression softened. You stilled as his hand moved from your jaw to your cheek.
You had seen his scars months ago and immediately recognized what had caused them. Cauldron knew you always kept yours hidden with a glamor, allowing it to dissipate only in the privacy of your bedroom.
Thinking about all your father had put you through made the reality of the situation slam into you. What if Azriel told your father what you had just said? The Night Court and the Autumn Court were not on good terms, but who knew what political machinations were at play behind closed doors. Beron would consider your words a betrayal and punish you accordingly.
Your worry must have shown on your face because Azriel's thumb brushed over your cheekbone, gentle and reassuring. “Your secret's safe with me,” he said softly. He studied you for a moment, and whatever he saw in your expression seemed to convince him to finally put his dagger back into its scabbard at his thigh.
You took a deep, shaky breath, unsure whether it stemmed from believing him or simply from relief at no longer being threatened.
Now free, his fingers brushed over your throat where his blade had been. There probably was a thin pink line there. His featherlight touch sent shivers down your spine.
“I'm sorry,” he murmured.
Your voice was barely a whisper. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
You stared at each other, time seeming to slow down. His shadows peeked from behind his broad shoulders, a few tendrils swirling forward and weaving through your red locks, but your gaze locked on his, your heartbeat quickening. His other hand still cradled your cheek.
“I'm sorry,” you murmured.
“What for?”
‘For lying to you.’
‘For sneaking into your Court’s suite.’
‘Because I can't tell you the whole truth.’
So many easy replies, and all of them true. But one in particular pushed at the corner of your mind, one you hadn't been able to shake for months.
“For walking away right after you fell asleep.”
Something flashed in his eyes, there and gone in an instant, but you didn't recognize what it was. You didn't know him well enough to read every subtle change in his expression. Part of you wished you could.
You waited for him to say something—either to tell you he didn't care or that it wasn't a big deal—but as his silence stretched on, you debated whether you should change the subject or perhaps apologize for bringing it up.
Just as you opened your mouth, Azriel spoke again, but his words were not what you had expected.
“I looked for you the day after,” he whispered, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip. “But you were gone.”
You couldn't help but stare, so caught off guard that you were completely speechless. You had thought about him often since that night, but you never imagined he might have looked for you in the morning. You were torn between feeling even worse about leaving him and the rapid beat of your heart.
A grin curled your lips as you rested your hands on his chest. Even with his armor on, you could recall the lines of the tattoos swirling across his golden skin, a sliver of black ink peeking from his collar. “I was that good?” you teased.
Azriel chuckled under his breath, the sound like a song to your ears. “You were that good.” He leaned in, his mouth brushing against your ear, teeth grazing your earlobe. “You felt that good wrapped around me.”
Your breath hitched at his words, and you could feel his hard length pressing against your thigh, igniting a desire that made you want to moan.
“Do you want to do it again?”
He barely gave you time to finish that sentence before his lips claimed yours, eliciting a surprised whimper. Your fingers tangled in his curls, his hands cupped your face, and there was nothing sweet or gentle about the kiss as his body pressed yours against the wall and you began to grind on him.
You parted only to catch your breath, but Azriel was already nipping at your neck, and you tilted your head to grant him more access.
When distant footsteps echoed from a nearby hallway, he didn’t even pull away as shadows wrapped around you both. In an instant, they winnowed you into a bedroom you didn't bother to register, too busy pushing Azriel on the large bed and climbing on top of him.
After that time, you began to plan your meetings. It was often a real challenge to find a moment when both of you could slip away from your duties without raising suspicions, but you couldn't risk your families discovering that you were regularly sleeping with a spy from a rival court.
Then, somewhere along the way, it happened. Sex slowly transformed into making love as you both developed feelings for one another, and around one year later, the mating bond snapped into place. You wanted to accept it, but you couldn't shake the dark cloud looming over your head. It was then that you decided to tell Azriel the truth about who you were, who your father was. He was gone for twenty days after your revelation, and you were left wondering whether it was because you had kept it hidden from him for so long or if he truly had a tight schedule and couldn't make time for a secret rendezvous. But when he finally returned, he assured you that whoever your father was wouldn't change or diminish his love for you. That very night, you offered him food, relief washing over you like a balm.
~~~~~~
And here you were, three years and countless secret meetings later.
“What are you doing here?” Azriel repeated, his voice carrying the usual softness he used when speaking to you, but with an edge of nervousness and impatience.
“My father sent me to retrieve the Veritas Orb,” you explained with a sigh. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't want you to have to lie to your family even more. And… I thought I could do this alone.”
Azriel fell silent, his back stiff, his posture rigid. The shadows had retreated behind his wings. Finally, he asked, “What does he need it for?”
You gave him an apologetic look. “He didn't bother to share that information.”
He nodded, as if he had expected that answer. Rising to his feet, he offered you a hand to help you up from your seat. You took it, his skin cold against your palm, and stood with a frown.
“What do we do now?” you whispered, anxious despite Cassian’s absence. “I didn't mean to bring you into this mess, love.”
Azriel let go of your hand to cup your face, forcing you to meet his gaze. “Don't apologize. I know he didn't give you a choice.” He pressed his soft lips to your forehead. “But I can't let you walk out, angel. We need some excuse.”
Right, because letting you leave unscathed and without any information would only get him in trouble with his High Lord. But leaving without the Orb would get you in trouble. And yet, you would rather endure whatever punishment your father would concoct than let your mate deal with the consequences of your reckless actions.
You stepped back, out of the warmth provided by his body. You had a plan, one you knew he wouldn’t like, but it seemed like the only solution to get you both out of this mess with minimal repercussions. Well, for him at least. You doubted Beron would take pity and turn a blind eye to your failure, but it was worth a shot.
“I need you to hurt me.”
His eyes widened, but you went on before he could object. “You can tell Rhysand I was acting alone, that you made sure I won't be a problem anymore, and I’ll go back to Autumn and tell my father I was caught and tortured. But I need you to hurt me and I need you to make it look believable.”
Azriel was gaping. You had never seen him like this before. You knew how your idea sounded, but you needed him to understand the criticality of the situation and agree to it.
“Az, I—”
“No.”
You blinked. “No?”
Something ticked in his jaw, a subtle clench of his muscle. “No,” he repeated, voice firm and unyielding. “I'm not hurting you, love. You can't just ask me to do that. I won't. I can't.”
You studied him for a moment, but you knew he wasn't going to change his mind.
“Fine,” you sighed, extending a hand toward him, palm up. “Then give me Truth-Teller.”
He frowned, and the shadows swirled around him nervously, as if sensing the direction this conversation was taking. “And why would I do that?”
“You won't hurt me, so I'll do it myself,” you replied, as if the answer was obvious.
His eyes widened. “Y/N—”
“Just a few cuts here and there,” you assured him. “Nothing too bad. But my father has to believe it's real.”
Once again, Azriel stared at you, pale as if he had just seen a ghost. “You can't be serious.”
“You have a better idea?” you retorted. Without waiting for his answer, you reached for the dagger at his thigh. The sooner you could get this over with, the better.
Azriel easily sidestepped you, grabbing both your wrists to prevent you from trying to take his knife again. “I'm not letting you hurt yourself either,” he stated. His grip on you was gentle, but his tone was cold. It was the kind of tone that told you he wouldn't take no for an answer.
But neither would you.
“We don't have a choice, Az,” you countered, your voice steady despite the rising tension. Yet you didn't try to free your hands.
Something shifted in his eyes, in his expression. His thumbs brushed over your wrists in soothing motions, and a pleading note entered his voice when he spoke again. “I can't stand to see you hurt, my love. I don't care about the reason.”
For a few seconds, you just stared into each other's eyes. You were still tense and rigid, and fear coiled in your gut at the thought of going back and facing your father. But Azriel's gaze was soft, scarred fingers never ceasing their gentle caresses. In that moment, you realized that he would rather tell his family the truth than let you go back home battered.
And then it hit you. Though you loved the Autumn Court, it wasn't your home. No, your home was Azriel. He had been for years now. Your safe place, the person you could always count on, the one who knew you better than anyone else. Your mate.
“He won't let me leave,” you whispered, and you hated how weak and vulnerable you sounded.
“You're already here.” Azriel lifted your hands to his mouth and pressed a warm kiss on each palm. “You don't need to leave. You just need to stay.”
You shook your head, tears rising to your eyes. “He sent me here. He knows where I am, and he'll come looking or send someone to find me, or—”
“We'll deal with him,” he interrupted you. “But you'll be safe here. I promise.”
You couldn't hold back the tears, then. He sounded so sure, as if it could ever be that simple. As if you could just make the choice to stay and never go back. You wished you could. With all your heart, you wished it could be as simple as that.
“Az, I… I can't,” you murmured, voice trembling.
He let go of your wrists to cup your cheeks, wiping away your tears. “I will protect you,” he reassured softly. “My whole family will, once they know the truth. You will be safe in the Night Court. And if not, then… then we'll go somewhere else, somewhere far away where Beron won't find us.”
We. Us.
For how long had you wished to hear those words? Even after you two had met, you had never truly been a couple. You had stolen moments whenever you could, but it was always you and him—your duties and his. Never a ‘we’, never an ‘us’.
“Stay.”
You closed your eyes, unable to hold his pleading gaze any longer.
“Stay in the Night Court.”
You swallowed, the weight of the decision heavy on your shoulders as if it were a physical burden. “Az…”
“Stay with me.” His voice broke, vulnerability spilling into every word. “Please.”
What if it were that easy? What if you could make the decision and simply not go back to the Autumn Court? What if you could spend every day and every night with the person you loved with all your heart, with your mate, and not having to hide, to carefully plan every meeting, to weave lie after lie to everyone around you?
When you opened your eyes, Azriel was staring at you. He was still brushing away your tears, but even through their veil, you could see how beautiful he was. How desperate. How broken.
And you nodded.
“Okay,” you whispered.
His eyes immediately lit up. “Okay?”
“Yes,” you confirmed despite the quiver in your voice. “Yes, I'm… I’m staying. With you.”
You barely had time to finish the sentence before he pulled you into his arms, your face pressed against his chest as he held you tight. You let yourself go, surrendering to the tears and the sobs shaking your body, clutching his leathers to keep your hands from trembling.
“Thank you,” he murmured against your hair, over and over. “Thank you, my love. Thank you.”
You didn't know how long you just stood there. Minutes, hours, days—it didn't matter. You were together now, and you would always be from this moment on. You were home, and never again would you suffer at the hands of your father.
His shadows swarmed around you, caressing your back and arms, twisting in your hair as if they, too, were excited about what would happen next. You didn't know. For the first time in your life, the future was bright, and happiness was within your grasp.
You pulled back only when your tears ran dry. Azriel pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead, and you both smiled, brightly and lovingly, knowing you would not leave each other again.
“Let's get you out of here,” he said eventually, taking your hand and intertwining your fingers. “There's so much to do.”
Like meeting his family. Revealing your identity, who you were and what you did, and hoping they would understand and not hold it against you.
As Azriel stepped back to turn toward the door, you hesitated.
“Can you promise me something?” you asked, your voice quiet and still a bit hoarse from crying.
He stopped, worried eyes immediately searching your face for any sign of discomfort or concern. “Of course, love. Anything you want.”
“It's nothing too big, just…” You offered a small smile and squeezed his fingers. “No more secrets, Az.”
His hazel eyes softened, and his lips curled into a beautiful smile. He nodded, tugging gently on your hand to lead you out of the cell and into your new life. “No more secrets.”
2nd a/n: if the lines "Stay / Stay in the Night Court / Stay with me" reminded you of another very similar quote, you are correct. I had originally written "Stay in the Night Court. Just... stay with me" and it made me think of that quote, which is one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite books and said by one of my favorite characters ever, so I decided to include it (a little easter egg, if you will). Kaz and Azriel 🤝 simping for the girl they like
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Azriel Week: @fourthwing4ever
#azrielappreciationweek2024#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel x y/n#azriel shadowsinger#azriel acotar#azriel#azriel fic#sjm#sarah j maas#acotar#acotar x reader#acotar fanfic#a court of thorns and roses#azriel fluff#azriel angst#fanfiction
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So, this. I was homeschooled, and I will say. I did meet people who had legitimate reasons that homeschooling was better for them. Many had been in public school and were severely bullied, most due to disabilities. I myself was bullied relentlessly and my mom cites that as her reason for pulling me and my siblings out of school. (She was also enamored with the idea of downsizing into a trailer and traveling the country. Yes, with a newborn baby, two audhd kids, a dog, and her crumbling marriage) Here's how that went:
The thing is, I didn't stop being bullied when I was pulled out, I just didn't have any escape from the bullying happening in my home. I went from having a small group of friends and acquaintances and teachers to talk with to only my abusive mother, absent father, struggling little brother, and the baby I was raising in place of my mom. (She slept in the same bed as me for the first 6 years, I fed, bathed, changed, and entertained her)
Occasionally, we would fall in with homeschooling co-ops, but inevitably, drama would happen, and I learned not to get attached. I don't think I could name one single person I met during that time period if you held a gun to my head. The whole traveling the country thing didn't work out, and we went from having a house to camping or renting in small spaces. I was 12 when I started homeschooling, and I stayed at a 5th grade education level for the most part until I was 16. My mom soon stopped having any interest or ability to teach me, so I mostly just read and fucked around all day. It was boring and frustrating, I didn't have consistent access to the internet, and I fought with my family all the time.
My state doesn't require homeschoolers to submit a report card or have the children see a counselor once a year, or really anything. In 2015, my mom gave up on educating me and put me in a dual enrollment program at a community college for high schoolers, and that was what got me finally to something approaching my peers on an education level. It also finally put me in contact with adults who cared about me and wanted me to succeed, professors who checked on my progress and listened to my concerns. A library with an internet connection and nobody watching what books I was reading.
That school saved my life, and I don't say that lightly.
In 2017, a fellow homeschooler in my state was not so lucky. Matthew Tirado was a 17 year old nonverbal autistic kid who was enrolled in public school. His parents were repeatedly reported for child abuse, especially by his sister, until they took his sister out of school completely. Two months later, Matthew died. His sister didn't have any way of contacting outside help anymore, and her brother died because their parents knew that nobody could speak up for him any more.
I remember everyone else's horror, and outrage, and I remember my mom. The woman who had abused me when she knew I had nobody to go. She was scared. Because she still had my younger siblings, and she did not want to face consequences. So many homeschooling parents in my state did the same, and they fought hard to defend their right to abuse their kids. And they won.
To this day, in my state 36% of parents who pulled their child from public school in order to homeschool them did so *after* a Department of Child and Family Services (DCF) investigation revealed that they were abusing their children. That's more than one fourth. Once a child is pulled out of school in my state, there are no requirements accommodations, no therapy, no supports, and no accountability. Homeschool parents willfully practice 'unschooling' or buy curriculums from shady organizations that purport to provide an education that will turn their children into whatever parents want them to be.
Public schools aren't great. We all know this. Neither are private schools, in a different, equally fucked way. But homeschooling with no checks or balances, nobody even making sure the kids are still alive after they're out of the system? It's a level of nightmare I dearly wish nobody had to experience. And I got off so lightly.
Anyway enough lame gifted kid discourse we are in our 20s. Let's talk about how homeschooling in america should be fucking illegal it's insane lol
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Hi, I was just wondering if you could do a bottom Tara x top g!p female reader fic?!
where Tara and reader are dating but when sam finds out she forbids reader to come over to their apartment the only time they see each is in college. So T and R are texting 24/7 and one evening things get a little spicy like they start sexting ig sending stuff too each other (if you get what I mean) then Tara decides to sneak out because she's missing reader (vice versa) and goes to reader's apartment and they do it for the first time also could it be soft smut and some aftercare maybe. It's just T and R being gay af!
You don't have to do this btw thanks either way!Bye have a good day/night :)
Rule Breakers
SMUT! Bottom Tara Carpenter x Top G!P Female Reader
Masterlist
Word count: 4.9k
“You are what?!” the scream Sam let out echoed through the apartment making absolutely everyone present, you and Tara included, flinch. This was not the reaction you hoped for, though Tara did warn you it would probably be like this. You had no idea how bad it would get.
“We are dating,” Tara repeated and you could tell by the way she reached out and grabbed your hand that she desperately needed to feel your touch to calm down. How could Sam not see that? See beyond the fact that she herself didn’t know you?
“Absolutely not! Tara you met her what? A month ago?” Sam was not accepting this at all. You could see the fury in her eyes as she looked at you as if you immediately threatened to hurt her sister. You knew what the reason was and you definitely couldn't blame her for it. But it still hurt to see she didn't trust Tara's judgment. Tara was an adult. She went through even more than Sam did and she just wanted to live her life, which included falling in love and dating, and you hoped one day moving in with you so you could build your future together.
Yeah. You were whipped.
“Four months, actually,” Tara rolled her eyes. The two of you met in college on the first day. You sat next to each other and immediately got along and fast forward three months, some time after she had opened up to you about how she was attacked and nearly killed by one of her closest friends, she just asked you out and you accepted it. You definitely developed a crush on her a lot sooner than that, and while that wasn't important at the moment you really believed Tara knew that all along. She just had a way of knowing just how you felt about her, in her own words, you were an open book in her eyes.
“That's not nearly long enough,” Sam pointed the finger at you, the fury in her eyes not fading even slightly.
“Hey, Sam wait!” Tara tried to stop her sister, but it was too late.
“Out right now. If I ever see you close to Tara things will not end well for you,” you had no doubts about just how serious Sam was and you saw Tara’s jaw dropping.
“What the fuck Sam?!” Tara screamed at her sister and quickly turned to you as you got up. “No this isn't what I want!” she jumped to her feet after you and stepped in front of you. “Hey, just listen to me, this isn't what I want,” it hurt you to see her like this, in pain and afraid, and her eyes already filling with tears.
For the first time since you came to the apartment you glared at Sam.
“Come on Sam give it girl a chance,” Chad tried to get her to see reason but a single glare shut him down.
“I will not risk Tara's safety,” Sam would not listen, in fact, she stood up as if to show you the way out. You swallowed the lump in your throat as Tara grabbed onto your hand to keep you from leaving, tears were falling down her face.
“I don't want this, please,” her hands trembled as she said that and for a moment you stopped glaring at Sam.
Your eyes softened and you gently brushed the tears off Tara’s face. “I know you,” whispered and leaned down to kiss her, Sam be damned. Tara relaxed into the kiss, realizing you weren’t going to leave her, and she kissed your back and poured all of her love into that one single kiss. When you separated you turned to Sam returning her glare without flinching for a single moment.
Sam was intimidating there was no doubt about it, but this was a lot more important. “You can try all you want, Sam, you will not scare me away. Got it? Drop the protective big sister bullshit because no one gets to make my girlfriend cry. Not even you,” the temperature in the room dropped when you said that and you could tell everyone just got on the verge of running away and you could not blame them.
Sam looked even more furious, she looked ready to spit fire and rain hell upon you, but you stood your ground. And to make your defiance even more clear you stepped around Tara and faced her sister head on with nothing blocking her path.
Sam remained silent for now, just glaring at you and you nodded, feeling like this ended about as well as it could. “Glad that's clear, I’ll see you later Sam,” you made your point clear, there was no reason to stick around because hanging out with Tara at this point, in this situation and in their apartment wouldn’t do any good for anyone, you and Tara especially.
~X~
She absolutely won the lottery. She would never try to even purchase a ticket because all her luck was just spent on getting the most amazing, badass girlfriends she could ever hope for. Did the way you talked back to Sam make her wet? Yes, yes it did.
Would she have gone to her room to handle that if everyone else still wasn’t at the apartment? Yes, she would have.
Would she do it tonight? Absolutely.
~X~
After what happened last week you and Tara kept seeing each other only at college, and that, more often than not, led to both of you just ditching the classes and getting coffee and croissants from a local bakery you both loved to visit. You did not expect that single decision to haunt you for the rest of the week. You both thought you were just that slick about it as you skipped several classes over the past week just so you spend time together and act like an actual couple instead of two people hiding from the world.
The world in this case being Tara's sister.
If Tara started failing classes because of her absence, well, that would be entirely on Sam.
~X~
Tara should have seen the trouble coming from a mile away. She just had too much fun today, walking with you in the park, grabbing breakfast, you even managed to catch a movie, and it was actually a good one! And to make things even better Tara couldn't keep her hand away from your own, constantly holding it as you went from one place to another.
And then the world just turned against her. She opened the doors and saw Sam expecting her with a stern look on her face, and arms crossed, sitting at the table in the kitchen.
She was in so much trouble.
“You were with her, weren't you?” well she couldn't exactly confess, so she would at least try to deny it. What were the chances that Sam had an actual proof Tara skipped classes with you?
“We were catching up on some lesson we missed, so classes got extended,” Tara lied a bit easier than she thought she would, but she figured the habits she picked up on while she was living with her mother were difficult to get rid of.
“Do not lie to me, Tara!” she flinched at Sam’s shout. “I went to pick you up and you weren't there. And when I asked your classmates if you even came to the classes, they told me neither of you showed up today!” Tara was caught pretty much red-handed and Sam knew it.
Tara sighed and sat down across the table. “You can't expect me to break up with her, Sam. I love her!” she was getting frustrated by Sam's behavior. Why couldn't her sister just let her go, just let her live her own life.
“Tara, you don't love her, you don't even know her properly! She could be dangerous,” this paranoia had to stop, because Sam saw everyone that tried to approach Tara as an enemy, as someone Tara needed protection from.
“Sam do you hear yourself?” Tara couldn’t deal with it anymore. “We are living with Quinn and she keeps bringing random guys to the apartment! Any one of them could be as psycho that just gets up one night and kills all three of us. You don't know those guys, yet you let Quinn bring them along!” Terra pointed out, exasperated by Sam not being able to see logic in her words, more importantly she was furious because Sam wouldn't trust her judgment.
She knew you. She had complete trust in you. And she got betrayed in a worse way than Sam did, after all while Richie was Sam’s boyfriend, Amber has been Tara’s friend for over a decade by that point.
“That isn't how Ghostface works and you know that,” Sam argued back. Ghostface this, Ghostface that. Tara was getting sick of it.
How could Sam not see it? “Ghostface isn't the only psycho, Sam! I can't live my life fearing that anyone I meet is going to turn out to be a psychotic killer. I want to live Sam, I fell in love and I want to enjoy that! I want to be with Y/N!” she desperately hoped Sam would just for once listen to her.
Yet Sam acted like a broken record. “We don't know her,” and Tara knew it wouldn’t matter how long you spent trying to get Sam’s trust. Sam would never know you ‘well enough’, Sam wouldn’t even try to get to know you.
“So what? I'm just supposed to fall in love with Chad? Because who else is left?” Tara demanded, but she might as well be talking in an entirely different language.
“This conversation is over, you’re grounded for a week,” Sam stood up and stormed into her room, leaving utterly flabbergasted Tara alone.
What a great way to spend the week off from classes.
~X~
Five days, that’s how long this torture’s been going on and Tara felt like she was about to lose her mind. And she was supposed to last an entire week?! The remaining two days felt like they would never end because each day seemed to drag out more than the previous one, even witconstant texting between the two of you. She turned in her bed for what felt like the hundredth time and her bed showed it. Messy twisted blanket, crumpled sheets, her head resting only on the corner of her pillow as she once again got on her back and stared at the ceiling. Sam was being unfair. Mindy had Anika, her and Sam were living with Quinn, who they didn’t know beforehand, and Tara was sure Sam had something going on with that Danny guy, and Chad was also occasionally flirting with girls! She was the only one who couldn’t have what she wanted.
Her phone buzzed and she immediately scrambled out of the blankets to take it. Curse her battery for needing to be charged! Tara quickly unlocked her phone and saw the message was from you.
Y/N: You need to see this!
Underneath it she saw the cutest Instagram reel of a puppy surrounded by ducklings.
Tara: 😍😍😍 They are so cute!
Your answer was immediate.
Y/N: Not as cute as certain someone, but it’ll have to do 😉
Tara fell back on her bed, a ridiculously wide smile already making its way to her face. Fuck, she missed you so much. ‘Yeah? Certain someone?’ she replied and her breath hitched when you sent her a selfie wearing a very soft looking shirt and grinning at her, and all of that could be manageable, if only Tara’s eyes didn’t immediately go to your lips and she realized it’s been way too long since she got to kiss you. She needed to feel your lips on her own, on her neck, on… fuck, what if you went lower. She bit her lower lip, studying your face, imagining your smiles, the way you looked at her.
Y/N: Tara? Baby? You’ve left me on seen for five minutes
That message temporarily snapped her out of her daydreaming. Or would it be nightdreaming? She never really thought of the logic behind the word. And she was desperately trying to ignore the desire gradually, scratch that, rapidly building inside of her.
Tara: I miss you
She finally replied and glanced back at your selfie as you typed the response.
Y/N: I kiss you too
Y/N (edited): I miss you too
Tara burst out laughing and quickly covered her mouth. ‘I saw it! Can’t take it back!’ she replied only to barely hold her laughter back when you just replied with ‘Shit.’ She smiled fondly, taking pity on you.
Tara: I want to kiss you too, so, so bad. I keep thinking about it and other things all the time
There, she confessed, knowing you were still prone to getting embarrassed and all shy about how affectionate Tara could get. Randomly kissing your cheek or hugging you when she knew you least expected was easily her favorite thing to do. The clear embarrassment on your face and the hitched breath, and especially the way you would freeze for a moment kept Tara entertained.
You had your own ways to mess with her, though she suspected you weren’t doing it on purpose. You would just go ahead and pull her chair out for her to sit, or bring her favorite coffee along when you would meet up and it was really messing her up to feel so cared for after years of neglect. It was yet another reason why she was so mad at Sam because she feared she wouldn’t be able to forgive her sister if Sam’s suspicious nature chased you away.
Y/N: Other things?
Hook, line, and sinker.
Tara opened her camera and switched to video. She winked at it and then turned it lower, to her waist, making sure to capture every detail as she unbuttoned her jeans and just brushed her fingers over the zipper, taunting you. She slowly panned the camera up her body while trailing the path with her hand. “Other things,” she was well aware of the sliver of her skin the camera caught when she pushed her shirt up. “Very specific things,” she whispered as seductively as she could, which, well, she didn’t have experience with seducing people, but she knew she’d get the desired effect with you as her hand brushing between her breasts moved the shirt in a way that emphasized her cleavage. And then she returned the camera to her face to show you she was lightly biting the corner of her lower lip.
She didn’t hesitate one moment before sending it.
You saw the message immediately, yet you didn’t respond, and Tara may have been stuck between getting nervous and completely confident in her charms. Minutes later she finally saw you typing.
Y/N: Tara
She could hear the exasperation in your message, yet she just sent ‘Yes, Baby? 🥺’
Y/N: Look at you acting all innocent
Yeah, she knew she was being rather mischievous. Even more so when she just replied with: ‘But I am all innocent’ she waited a moment, imagining you rolling your eyes and not immediately noticing the word play.
Tara: All innocent and inexperienced, just waiting for you to touch me
She put her phone under her shirt and took a photo, making sure there was just enough light to tease the details of her bra and sent it to you.
Your reply made her squeeze her thighs together. You sent her another photo, this time of you in front of a mirror, your hand covering the bulge in your pants and Tara caught herself wondering, and not for the first time, how big you were.
“Don’t tease me,” she sent you a voice message, whining as she cupped her breast, as her mind created the images of you taking her, fucking her. Instead of a message you actually called her and she resisted cursing because she was about to unzip her jeans and slip her hand inside. “Hey,” she whispered, trying to figure out if she could still do it.
“I’m teasing? Do you have any idea what you did to me?” your voice sounded strained an she knew you were in just as much of a dilemma as she was, only you seemed to be stronger than her, because if she didn’t do something about the lust she felt she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep.
“I know,” she admitted, biting back a moan as she slipped her hand into her jeans and teased her pussy over her panties. Fuck, she was already wet. “Y/N,” if only you were here with her, touching her, fucking her. “Are you hard?”
“What do you think?” you replied and she knew the answer. “I haven’t seen you in five days and the first thing you send me is that fucking video,” oh, you were cursing. She really got to you and you were definitely getting to her as she pushed her panties aside and slid her fingers through her wet folds.
“You started it,” Tara tried to defend herself.
“It was an innocent selfie!” you exclaimed just as she brushed the tip of her finger over her clit.
“Fuck, if we don’t stop neither of us will be innocent by tomorrow morning,” she moaned into the pillow, stuck between the urge to make herself cum and just sneak out and go to you.
“Shit, maybe we shouldn’t stop,” she could hear the faint sound of you stroking your cock and probably would have wondered if you could hear her too, but more importantly she made her decision.
“I’ll be there in ten,” she absolutely despised herself for pulling her hand out of her jeans and ending the call, but she would quickly get rid of that feeling, she just needed to get to you first.
~X~
You met in front of your apartment with Tara immediately jumping into your arms and kissing you, and you found yourself being pushed against the wall next to your doors as she deepened the kiss. “Fuck, finally,” she groaned, pressing her body against yours. “Y/N,” she moaned your name, and you felt her grinding against you, not even waiting to get inside.
The effort it took to actually slow down and take her to your bedroom should be studied, but you couldn’t let your first time be rough and quick. No, Tara deserved a lot more than that. “Easy, Tara, let’s just go inside,” you barely put your hand over your mouth to quiet the moan when she nibbled on your neck.
“I need you,” she whined, but allowed you to pull her into the apartment and toward the bedroom.
“I know, I know, I need you too,” you confessed, uncomfortably hard, and it only got worse when Tara pushed you onto the bed and straddled your lap. “But we can take as much time as we want, just take it slow and enjoy our first time instead of rushing through it.”
She felt it when she jumped into your arms, and now that she was straddling your lap. This was what she wanted for so long, yet now that she was looking at you the words you spoke echoed through her mind. Yeah, she would really enjoy that, just taking things slow for once. Slow and steady.
She leaned down, kissing you softly as she brushed her fingers over the fabric of your shirt, reaching up to your shoulders and squeezing lightly when you wrapped your arms around her. “You sure you’ll be able to hold back,” she asked when she pulled back, you were very hard after all.
You ran your fingers through her hair and looked her in the eyes. “I’m not holding anything back,” you promised and kissed her again. Your lips felt so soft, and Tara moaned, she truly missed this feeling. You slid your hand down to her neck and Tara let out a shuddering sigh as she lifted her head up and made it easier for you to kiss her neck. This was good, this was familiar. Making out with you always left her needy and this time wasn’t an exception as she felt the heat pooling in her core. “Y-Y/N,” she whimpered when you bit her neck slightly, just the way she liked it and Tara slowly began grinding on you. “Just like that,” she whispered as you dragged your tongue up her neck, soothing the burning skin.
“You’re so beautiful,” you were mesmerized by her, captivated by her beauty. Her breathy moans felt like the most beautiful melody ever created and you were the one causing them. You pulled her shirt up just enough to slip your hands underneath it. You felt the slight shiver of her body as she squirmed a bit at your touch.
“Your hands are a bit cold,” she giggled as your fingertips brushed along her sides. “Y/N, that tickles,” she smacked you slightly on the shoulder and saw the grin on your face. “Goofball,” she kissed you quickly.
“Sorry,” you muttered, only half-serious as Tara sat up and slowly, in the most tormenting, teasing way possible, took her shirt and bra off. “Fuck,” she looked gorgeous and there was no way your eyes weren’t giving your thoughts away because you couldn’t get them off her body.
Tara smiled at that, she’s shown you her scars before, so she wasn’t worried about your reaction, but this? She was definitely getting an ego boost from this reaction, and the way your cock twitched against her pussy. “You want me, Y/N? Take me,” she said it. “Do anything you want with me,” and in return she’d do anything she wanted with you and there were plenty of things she wanted, so many in fact she knew you couldn’t do it all tonight.
You cleared your throat and nodded as you sat up yourself and then flipped the two of you around so you were on top of Tara. You looked her in the eyes as you leaned down and, while cupping her breast, licked her already hard nipple. Tara took your own shirt and bra off and watched you as you sucked on her breast while she ran her fingers through your hair, encouraging you to keep going. Her other hand found your breasts and she brushed her thumb against your nipple.
Your tangled bodies moved together. Every touch of your hands left her skin burning, left her body more desperate for your touch, every single brush of your fingers drove her mad with desire. And she still didn’t take her jeans or panties off. Your hand went lower until your fingers tugged at her jeans, teasing her and making her moan. “Need you,” she whispered and felt you nodding as your unzipped her jeans and pulled them down.
“You’re soaking wet,” you grunted as you slowly rubbed her pussy over her panties. Tara dared to believe you could slip your cock inside her without any troubles with how wet she was if only you weren’t so big. You pulled your hand out of her jeans, making her immediately whine.
“Y/N, don’t tease me, please,” she begged, but luckily you just took a moment to take her jeans and panties off and strip the rest of your clothes as well.
“That’s your specialty,” you got back on top of her and pushed two fingers inside her pussy, and if she wasn’t as aroused as she was she would probably be embarrassed at how easily your fingers slipped in. Your fingers felt so good inside her as you continued kissing and caressing her body and Tara lay there, a moaning mess before your cock was even inside her. She reached down and wrapped her hand around your cock, there was precum leaking out of it as she rubbed the tip with her thumb. “Don’t, I won’t last if you do that,” you bit her shoulder a bit rougher than you intended. “I want to cum when I’m inside you,” you said while bringing her close to her orgasm.
“Me too then. Put it in me, I’m ready,” she spread her legs for you and kissed you as you blindly reached for the drawer next to your bed and grabbed the condom on top of it. If she didn’t quite literally tell you you would be having sex she would have teased you, but as it was she just wanted you to put it on and fuck her.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” you asked as you lined your cock up with the entrance to her pussy. And oh, she was ready, soaking wet, she probably wouldn’t even feel any pain. Tara nodded and kissed you once more as she hugged you tightly. She felt the tip of your cock sliding into her pussy and moaned, breaking the kiss and leaning her head back on your pillow.
“Y- Ah! Y/N!” she cried out your name, her fingertips digging into the back of your head, her back arching as you wrapped one arm around her and used the other to hold onto her hip.
“You’re taking me so well, Tara,” you whispered in her ear and finally, finally, she took all of you. She was close before, but now, feeling this full, she knew she was right on the edge.
You knew you couldn’t last for long like this. Tara’s warm, wet pussy engulfed you and you tried to focus on something else, to prolong this, but there was no way you could do that, so, you moved your hand from her hip to her clit and began rubbing as you slowly began thrusting into her, hoping you could get her to cum before you did. You would hold back until she cums, you promised that to yourself.
“I’m so close,” Tara moaned. “Look at me,” she pleaded, and you immediately complied as you looked into each other’s eyes, your bodies moving in the perfect sync as she began meeting your thrusts. Her orgasm kept building up, slow and steady, like your entire lovemaking was tonight, and with each thrust she could see you were getting close as well. “Y/N,” she moaned your name, no longer conscious of how much time you spent like that. She just knew that at one point she came, loud and hard, as your sweat covered bodies pressed together and she felt you cumming as well with a moan of your own.
She was absolutely spent. Satisfied with this being her first time. There would be other nights or days for longer lovemaking with multiple orgasms. In her head, and she truly hoped, in yours too, this was perfect.
Tara held onto you, feeling happier than she’s been in a long time. The blissful feeling consuming her entirely as you pulled your cock out and she glanced down at the filled condom. Maybe it was just her orgasm affecting her brain but she couldn’t help but think how one day, when you’re both ready, you’ll be cumming deep inside her. “Baby, Y/N,” she hummed as you caught your breath on top of her and she gently scratched the back of your head.
You lowered your head a bit and kissed her shoulder. “You were incredible,” you whispered, peppering her shoulder and the side of her neck with soft butterfly kisses. “Tara,” you whispered her name like it was your own, personal salvation. “I love you so much,” it wasn’t the first time you said those words, but it felt so good to hear them.
“I love you too, Y/N,” she tilted your chin up and kissed you on the lips, just as soft as everything tonight was. “I never thought sex would feel this good,” she admitted. There was no pain, no holding back, it consumed her entirely and all she could feel was your love for her as you took her innocence.
You chuckled. “Tell me about it,” you rolled onto your back and pulled Tara on top of you so you could rest while still holding her.
Tara had other ideas, turning both of you so you were lying on the side. “There, that’s better,” she whispered and leaned in, closing the distance between you. You would need to get up soon, clean up, take care of the mess you made, but she could bask in your warmth for a bit longer. Especially when you began rubbing her back, soothing her, keeping her feeling good. “I love how gentle and loving you were,” she whispered as she snuggled up to you, aware that, while she did absolutely enjoy the gentle sex she wasn’t opposed to getting a bit rougher sooner or later. She wanted to feel it all with you, to try everything and anything you were both comfortable with.
“It felt right,” you hummed, focusing on holding her and occasionally kissing wherever you could reach at the moment. While Tara showered you with love through words, you preferred touch, and it worked for both of you perfectly. Tara who was starved for touch, you who were starved for words of affirmation, I was a match made in heaven in her mind.
You stayed like that for some time, easily fifteen minutes, if not closer to twenty. Just cuddling and loving one another before you finally went to clean up, not leaving the shared shower until all the hot water had run out.
A/N: Well... Sam may have been a tiny bit over the top/out of character for the sake of the plot 🤣🤣
#perunrequests#tara carpenter x you#tara carpenter x female reader#tara carpenter x reader#tara x reader#tara carpenter#scream#jenna ortega x reader#x reader#x female reader#g!p reader#bottom tara carpenter#top reader
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If your vision for the deradicalization of right-wing men begins and ends with "other men telling them that that's gross and to stop it" then I'm sorry, you do not understand how masculinity works.
"Men who hold patriarchal status" and "men who are feminists" are two groups who overlap less than you want them to. I'm sorry. That's not solely because men are so happy with patriarchal status that they don't want to risk it by policing misogyny/queerphobia/racism, It's because being misogynistic, queerphobic, and racist, end expressing other forms of toxic masculinity(and often abusively so) are part of how people establish and maintain patriarchal status. The men who have the ability to stop this via nothing but peer pressure are the very people who are doing it. That's by design. And engaging in feminist intervention is, in and of itself, usually the abrupt end of that status and its associated power to persuade misogynistic men.
Like, I have worked in blue collar jobs as a notably queer person. It was pretty much a constant deluge of verbal abuse. In my experience, most blue collar work environments are exploitative, abusive, and bigoted, and very gleefully so. On the occasions I have spoken up about someone saying something that was super fucking out of line (asking me which of the girls walking by was hottest. We were installing a portable classroom at a middle school), believe it or not, they completely failed to be shamed! Because nobody else on the crew gave a fuck. *I* was the weird one. They ghosted me. A full blown company ghosted me. I suddenly didn't have a job anymore because they just straightforwardly stopped telling me where the next job site was.
Like, this doesn't mean that it's your job to do it, but this vision you have of these big groups of men where everyone is on the fence and there is precisely one shit stirrer who can be shut down by a brave feminist man who can single handedly set the example for all these other guys...you are high. You are describing an "everybody clapped" level absurd scenario. Most of these truly virulent misogynistic guys either have zero friends, because, you know, our society is atomized to fuck, or they are in a group where the feminist guy is actually the weirdo who can be shut down and ostracized much, much easier than the misogynists, because there is no such thing as a man misogynists respect who stands up for women.
You might be saying "well, we're talking about longstanding personal relationships, actually. Like, they need to have to want to spend time with you and then, as a side effect, you can mind control them out of being a threat to us."
Problem with that being:
1: Many feminist men also have no friends, see the atomized society above.
2: Feminist men already stopped hanging out with men who make rape jokes because why the fuck would we want to spend time with them.
3: That isn't just because we respect women so hard. We are in many cases talking about men who are also deeply queerphobic, heirarchical, violent and abusive to other men. What initially drew me to feminism and women was a lack of heirarchical squabbling and constant bullying, and the ability to be openly queer. A lot of men who came to feminism did so because they knew that the patriarchy was not a place they would find success or acceptance. These are not the men who are gonna be able to change right wing minds.
4. Men do not view themselves as a monolith. There is no universal brotherhood of men. The actual meaning of the term "Fragile masculinity" is that men are constantly expected to prove that they are deserving of the status of being a member of their own gender. There are large swathes of men--including most of the men who you'd look to as examples of good, feminist men who you want to undertake this project--who are considered failed men, sissies, f****ts, soyboys, ect. They are. Not. Going. To. Convince. These. Men. Of. Jack. Shit. Much less successfully *shame* them. Jesus.
I know all of this sucks. I know it would be cool to be able to just point at a group and have them be responsible for the work. But nah. It's gonna have to be a societal project, one that will probably outlast all of us. Sorry. The thing you want these men to do is, absolutely, the morally correct thing to do. But presuming that it would be effective is, and once again I am so sorry about this, just ignorance of how these social groups function.
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It's a Love Story - Chapter 5
Summary:
Azriel's shadows find their master a wife.
Azriel would just really like his heart not to get broken again.
And Sky...well, she's just really surprised that that far too handsome male is interested in her at all.
Warning:
Rhys Bashing (as usual), I classified this as Azriel x OC, even when it't technically Azriel x Sellyn Drake (but we kinda know nothing about Sellyn Drake other than that she writes books so Sky is kinda an OC), Cassian is kinda a good guy for once, Azriel has a horrible time, as usual... Stuttering, toxic families (For once I do not mean the IC), Self-Esteem Issues, Secret Identity, Body Image Issues, Fat Shaming, People being utterly horrible.
If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.
“Where’s Az?” Mor asked as Nesta and Cassian entered the dining room at the River House.
“Busy,” Cassian said with a shrug, as he pulled out the chair for his mate, greeting the rest of their family with a smile.
Mor cocked her head, a small frown appearing on her face. "Busy?" she repeated, a note of curiosity in her voice. "What's he up to?"
Busy. That had been Azriel’s answer to nearly everything after Koshei. Busy.
Even quieter than usual. Keeping away from all of them…and Cassian still heard that one sentence echo in his head. Better me than you. Like somehow Cassians life was worth more than Azriel’s.
Azriel was just being noble and self-sacrificing as usual, right? Cassian knew that his brother didn't really think that way, didn't really believe that his life was worth less than anyone else's. But still, the words haunted him. He couldn't shake the feeling that somehow, somewhere, he had let Azriel down. That he hadn't been there when his brother had needed him the most.
Maybe he should have tried to talk to him...when it all went down… but then he hadn't realised what exactly was even going on, until Nesta had flatly laid it out for him one evening. Azriel had gotten over Mor only to fall in love with Elain...and that hadn't ended in his favour either.
Cassian grimaced just thinking about it. Azriel deserved to be happy. Azriel deserved a mate that loved him, a female that fucking adored him…and instead his brother had fallen not just for one, but two unavailable females.
And Azriel hadn’t complained. Not once. He had never let it show.
He always kept his emotions hidden under that stoic mask of his, like he was afraid of letting anyone see how much he was hurting. Cassian knew that Azriel would never ask for help, that he would never admit that he needed someone to talk to. But that didn't mean that he didn't need it.
Cassian just wished that he could find a way to get Azriel to open up, to let him in…that wouldn’t involve beating him to a bloody pulp.
Azriel acted like everything was fine. Azriel acted like he didn't care. Cassian knew that it was a mask, knew that it wasn't the truth...but Azriel liked to pretend it was...and maybe it was better to let him pretend.
It wasn't like he was hurting anybody with it, right? He was doing his work just as well as he always did...and if he wanted to spend his free time reading Sellyn Drake books, maybe they should just let him do that…maybe it made him feel better.
"Maybe he's seeing his secret girlfriend," Cassian drawled.
Mor snorted at that suggestion. "Please," she said with a roll of her eyes. "As if Azriel would ever have time for a girlfriend, let alone a secret one."
"You would be surprised," Cassian muttered under his breath. Apparently Azriel had time for reading Sellyn Drake novels while locked into his room, after all.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Mor wondered. "He has been...distant lately," she said with a pout.
Cassian could only stare at her. Mor couldn't be serious right now, could she?
Of course, Azriel was distant to her. Mor had fucking broken his heart and trampled on it to top it off. And Cassian had helped her with through the years. He probably owed Azriel an apology for that as well.
And still, Azriel hadn’t complained. Azriel hadn’t called them out. Azriel had taken it silently. Had even congratulated Mor when her Mating Bond with Emerie had snapped. Had been painfully polite, making painfully sure that he didn’t cross any lines, didn’t make Emerie uncomfortable in any way.
"Just leave him be," Cassian said with a shrug. "He's reading Sellyn Drake novels, he'll be fine,” he waved her off.
Rhys nearly spit his wine over the table and instead started coughing violently. "Azriel is reading Sellyn Drake novels?!" he asked Cassian with an incredious stare.
"Apparently he has trust in Nesta's taste of literature," Cassian answered easily.
Mor raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Sellyn Drake novels?" she repeated, eyeing Cassian like he had gone mad. "Since when does Azriel read those kinds of books? He's not exactly the...romantic type."
Or maybe there just never had been a single person that had appreciated that side of his brother. Who knew what Azriel actually was into.
Elain and Mor weren’t similar in the slightest after all.
Cassian shrugged. "Maybe he's expanding his horizons," he said with a grin. "Or maybe he just wants to see what the fuss is all about. After all, Sellyn Drake is...surprisingly good. Or so I've heard, anyway." He gave a sidelong glance to Nesta, who simply rolled her eyes at him.
Still, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rhys play absentmindedly with the stem of the wine glass. There was something there...between Rhys and Azriel that Cassian couldn't quite put his finger on. Some kind of tension...some kind of...something.
But lately, it had seemed like that tension had only been getting worse. Like they were both holding something back, like they were both waiting for the other shoe to drop. Cassian couldn't help wondering what would happen when that tension finally snapped.
***
"Winnowing or flying?" Azriel asked Sky as they stepped out into the icy early winter air.
"I...I can't...fly?" Sky answered haltingly, looking at him with these devastating blue eyes. They were beautiful. Not a light blue, not a teal, not bordering on violet…just beautiful near cobalt blue. She probably would match his siphons, he reflected weakly.
"I'll fly, I'll carry you," he gave back with a chuckle. She stared at him like he was insane, her cheeks reddening.
"I...I...you...can...can't carry me. I am too...heavy," she mumbled. Now it was his turn to stare at her.
Azriel couldn't help but scoff at that. "Too heavy?" he repeated, shaking his head in disbelief. "I'm an Illyrian warrior,” he told her drily. “I could carry a full-grown male into battle if I had to,and I have dragged full-grown males off the battlefield…I can carry you.”
Azriel couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. Was she...was she seriously trying to tell him that she was too heavy for him to carry? She just so reached the middle of his chest! She definitely wasn't thin...her body was covered with soft flesh and lush curves, every inch of it soft and inviting...but even if she weighed twice her weight, he would easily be able to carry her. She would probably weigh next to nothing to him.
And yet, he could sense the insecurity in her voice, the way she didn't quite believe that he could carry her.
He stepped closer to her, placing his hand gently under her chin and tilting her head up so that she was looking directly into his eyes. "You are beautiful," he said softly, his voice full of warmth and sincerity. "And I don't care how much you weigh, I can carry you. I want to carry you. Because you are mine and I will always protect you, no matter what."
Her breath hitched at that, and he could see the warmth spreading through her cheeks as her heart began to race. She looked up at him with those stunning blue eyes of hers, her lips parted slightly in surprise and wonder. "You...you really mean that?" she whispered, her voice soft and shaky. "You...you don't mind how big I am?"
Azriel chuckled softly, shaking his head. "No, sweetheart, I don't mind," he said gently. "I think you are absolutely perfect just the way you are. And if I have to carry you to prove it, then that is what I will do." And without another word, he scooped her up into his arms, cradling her against his chest as easily.
She squeaked as they shot up in the sky and then she laughed, the sound bright and beautiful
They soared through the sky together, the wind blowing through their hair and clothes as they flew. The City of Starlight sprawled out beneath them, a beautiful tapestry of color and light. Azriel held her close, feeling the warmth of her body against his, the sound of her heartbeat pulsing in rhythm with his own. He knew that he could never tire of this feeling, of having her in his arms like this.
Sky looked up at him with a smile, her eyes shining with happiness and excitement. "I love this," she breathed.
How very fitting it was for the female that called herself Sky to love flying.
"Good," Azriel said softly, his voice full of warmth. "Because we can do this anytime you want, sweetheart."
They soared higher and higher, until the city below them was nothing but a sparkling sea of lights. Azriel was in his element up here, his wings powerful and graceful as they sliced through the air. He could feel the wind whipping through his hair, the cold night air stinging his skin. But he didn't mind, not with her in his arms. In fact, he felt more alive than he had in months. Years, even.
He flew a loping circle over Velaris, towards the Lake House the shadows had purchased and he thanked them mentally for their foresight. He couldn't very well bring Sky home to the House of Wind...but here...he could take her. It was private and safe...and if the expression of her face was anything to go by, she loved it.
He angled his body towards the Lake House, gliding towards it with expert precision. As they approached, Azriel saw the soft glow of the lights in the windows, the gentle sway of the curtains in the breeze. The lake glittered in the moonlight, the surface of the water undisturbed and serene. It was the perfect place to bring her, a place that he felt she would love just as much as he did.
"You live here?" she wondered, wonder in her voice as she took in the sight.
Azriel felt a warm swell of pride in his chest as he landed smoothly on the deck of the house. "Yes," he said simply, his eyes fixed on her face, watching as she marveled at the house. "I wanted a private place," he admitted. "Somewhere quiet and peaceful, where I could escape from the chaos of my life for a little while.I haven't been there long though, it’s still a work in progress…" he warned her. More like 2 hours before he had met her. "But I love it."
He set her down gently, his hands lingering on her waist for a moment before he stepped back. "Come on," he said softly, holding out his hand to her. "Let me show you inside."
The shadows skittered inside as soon as he opened the door, like a bunch of little busybodies, rightening the curtains there, fluffing pillows on the couch...It seemed to amuse Sky though. "You must ne...never have to deal with a mes...messy kitchen," she teased him
Azriel chuckled at that. "No, the shadows don't like when things are out of place,” he admitted.
It wasn't a lie. But then he didn't like it either.
Like a moth pulled to the flame, Sky was pulled towards his bookcases, fingertips tripping over the spines as she hungrily read the titles.
Azriel suddenly hoped that the shadows had put something other than Sellyn Drake novels in the bookcase, because otherwise he was going to look like a fucking stalker.
He watched with a mix of amusement and apprehension as she examined the bookshelves, his heart pounding in his chest. *Please,* he silently pleaded to the shadows, *please tell me you didn't leave those Sellyn Drake novels on the shelf.* Because if she saw those, it would be disastrous.
The shadows seemed weirdly frozen in place.
"You read Sel...Sellyn Drake?" Sky asked him, sounding delighted and shocked at the same time.
Azriel groaned inwardly, feeling his face flush with embarrassment. "I...yes, I do," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "I...There is...I...I need to tell you something."
"Te...Tell me som...something?" Sky asked, turning towards him, these big beautiful eyes staring at him.
"I...It wasn't a coincidence that I was in that bar tonight," he told her, watching as she stared at him. "The shadows told me to go."
"The...The shad...shadows?" she asked him, looking utterly shocked.
"I...I told them...a few weeks ago...to...find me somebody that....that I could love...somebody that I could make happy. A wife," Azriel admitted. "You were the one they picked."
She stared at him, her mouth falling open slightly. Azriel braced himself for her reaction, not sure what to expect. Would she be angry? Scandalized? Horrified that he had sent his shadows to find him a wife?
She stared at him wide-eyed. "You...You as…asked yo…your sha..shadows to fi…find you a wi…wife?!" she asked him, repeating his words back at him.
He could feel his cheeks reddening but nodded nonetheless. "...are you angry?" he asked her weakly.
Sky stared at him for a moment, but then she shook her head. "No, No...no, I'm not," she repeated again, her voice trembling slightly. "I'm...I'm flat…flattered, actually...Though...though I am cu..curious what it…what it was about me that...made…made them pick me," she admitted.
For the first time in his life, his shadows talked to somebody other than Azriel. *We thought you would treat Master like you treat your cat,* the shadows told her brightly.
She blinked at the bunch of shadows that had gathered in front of her.
"You...You...You want me to...treat Az..Azriel like...like a cat?" she asked them incrediously.
Azriel spluttered, his cheeks burning with mortification. He hadn't expected the shadows to be so blunt, and the idea of her treating him like a cat was...well, it was absurd, to say the least. He wanted her to be his mate, his equal, not to treat him as if he were some kind of pet.
"No, no," he quickly interjected, trying to salvage the situation. "They...they don't mean it like that, Sky. The shadows have their own...unique way of looking at things. Please just...just forget they ever said that."
Sky fixed him with a look. "What do you mean?" she asked the shadows.
*You love your cat,* the shadows said quickly. *You buy him ridiculous overpriced Tuna, and you let him sleep in your bed and you scratch him behind the ears. You even knitted him a sweater!*
Azriel winced, feeling his embarrassment and mortification rising even further.
"That...thats not important," he mumbled, feeling like he was on the verge of spontaneously combusting from embarrassment. "The shadows...they have a habit of exaggerating things. Just...please, don't take them too seriously. I'm not expecting you to treat me like a cat, I swear."
Sky looked at him, then at the Shadows, then at Azriel again. She seemed to be lost in thought, clearly trying to decipher what the shadows meant.
"You..You want your mas…master to be tre…treated...well?" Sky finally asked the shadows, her tone of voice serious. "You pick…picked me because I...be..because I was nice to my cat?" she asked them curiously.
*You are so kind,* the shadows said softly. And so pretty. And we knew you would treat Master well and wouldn't judge him.*
Sky blushed at the compliment.
Azriel felt a sense of relief wash over him as the conversation shifted away from the whole "cat" thing. He had to admit, the shadows were right. Sky had been nothing but kind and considerate towards him since they met, and he was grateful for that. Still, he couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed by the whole situation.
"Look...I apologize for the shadows' behavior," he said to Sky, his voice soft. "They can be a bit...blunt, sometimes."
"I…I un…understand where they are com…coming from," she said nearly thoughtfully. "They just...want to see you hap…happy?" she said carefully and he nodded.
"Yes."
"Though they…they don't seem to have much of a sense of boun…boundaries," Sky said with a laugh. "You hid in my apartment didn't you?" she asked the shadows.
Azriel cringed as the shadows seemed to twirl in agreement. He had hoped that particular detail would have gone unnoticed, but he should have known better. Sky was too observant for her own good.
"Yes, they did," he admitted reluctantly. "I'm sorry about that. They...they have a tendency to go where they please."
Sky still mustered the shadows that were twitching in front of her
"I…I prom…promise to t…treat your ma…master well." Sky said seriously. "He's my mate."
Azriel felt his heart skip a beat at her words. The sound of that word coming from her lips made his knees weak.
He stepped forward, closing the distance between them and taking her hands in his. "And I promise to treat you well too," he swore fervently.
"And I'll…I’ll even knit him a swea…sweater," Sky continued, looking at the shadows.. "I…I don't know if he likes Tu…tuna, but I'll…buy him some… sweets."
He couldn’t help but laugh at her words, feeling a surge of affection for her that was almost overwhelming. "Sky," he said softly, looking into her eyes. "You don't have to do any of that for me. Just being with you is more than I could ever ask for.But...if you are willing to knit me a sweater, I surely won't say no to it," he added with a laugh. "And maybe you could try scratching me behind the ears too, just in case the shadows are right."
He meant it as a joke, but there was a part of him that was secretly delighted by the idea of her spoiling and doting on him. Maybe, just maybe, the shadows were onto something after all.
"And...who knows, maybe I'll develop a taste for Tuna," he added, grinning playfully. "As long as it's the fancy kind, that is."
He kissed her forehead gently, holding her close for a moment longer before finally pulling away. "But Sky…you don’t have to do all of that…Just being with you is enough."
She smiled up at him, beautiful and blinding and he couldn't help but kiss her.
As his lips met hers, Azriel felt a wave of warmth and tenderness wash over him. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as he deepened the kiss. In that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the shadows, not the world outside, nothing but her.
He broke the kiss reluctantly, resting his forehead against hers as he caught his breath.
"You…You can absolutely sleep in my bed with me," she whispered. "Or I'll sleep in yours," she offered, a grin on her face... and that was all he needed to hear, as he picked her up again.
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When my grandfather broke his hip, he was in a retirement community that he and my grandmother had specifically chosen because it would let them live independently but still have easy access to help if they needed it. So he was in his community hospital/medical center. It was a two minute drive from their house.
We went to go see after his physical therapy appointment, and he was still sitting in his hospital issue wheelchair, not the super comfortable chair that was padded and ergonomic and able to adjust to the hip angle he wanted. The bare ones, barely padded wheelchair.
We originally thought that someone had brought him back from PT and then ducked out to take care of something urgent or to find someone else to help him get into the comfy chair. That would be reasonable. Not great, but reasonable.
WRONG.
Someone had come in three hours ago, and put him in the wheelchair to go to PT, and they just LEFT him there. No one showed up to take him to PT. No one checked on him to see if he needed anything. They just left him in that fucking wheel chair, OUT OF REACH of any kind of call button and did not come back for him.
And he was so quiet and resigned about it when we said we were upset that he was treated that way. He was a doctor. My grandmother was a nurse. They both knew how fucked up that was, and he was still so quiet.
My grandmother was not. She was a force of nature who got him out back in his comfortable chair and then told every nurse who got in her way not to let that happen again.
And a week later, when his treatment had not improved to her liking, she checked him out AMA and took him home.
Where he kind of got better. He was 92 with a broken hip and pneumonia, so. That did in fact affect him for the rest of his life. But I firmly believe that the rest of his life would have been four weeks and not four years if she had not gotten him out of that hospital.
Because he had given up. And I know the broken hip and the pneumonia contributed to the giving up, but I think his treatment in the hospital made him give up more. And I am still so, so angry. That someone didn't just check on him and ask how he was doing. Or how long he had been in that wheelchair.
My grandfather has a brain thing right now that makes it hard for him to talk in more than one word sentences but he can understand people just fine and lately it’s been kinda pissing me off how many healthcare providers talk to him like he’s five years old. Like he can understand you. He can answer yes or no questions. We just told you that. You don’t have to talk about him to me like he’s not here.
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yandere genshin men trying to make things right between you
angst, mildly dark themes ayato, neuvillette, pantalone, capitano, dottore, alhaitham
note: trying a new genre.
Neuvillette
Yandere Neuvillette kept forcing you into marriage after your relationship just got established. You asked him to give you some time to think over such radical and responsible change in life, but he was adamant to your pleads. He wanted everything here and now proven officially on the papers. You spent some nights crying because to think that such gentleman-like and solitary person like Neuvillette would force you into marital relationship was eerie. The desire to possess you officially seemed to blind him completely and he went from a loving gentleman to an almost insanely addicted man who did not accept a refusal.
It was your break-time at work when Neuvillette suddenly came up to you. It was odd at first - the judge putting away his duties to meet you seemed almost unbelievable, but remembering how assertive he was in the relationship with you it might have been close to the reality.
“Can I have a moment of your time, love?” He asked you, his hand not reaching to touch you but his gaze was heavy on your face.
“Of course.”
Not longer after the two of you were sitting in the cafeteria - a curious choice for a private conversation. Although you did not deny you seemed much more comfortable in a public place rather than face-to-face with him.
“About our marriage…” Neuvillette started, his fingers grazing over his glass of water.
“You already know my opinion”, you answered with no emotion. The time to play nice unfortunately came to an end.
But the next response from Neuvillette kind of gave you goosebumps:
“If I was too harsh on you, I beg of you to forgive me. I have a habit of grasping something dear to me too tightly, and I’m afraid that I hurt you more than I could possibly imagine”, he took a pause for a breath and gulped a sip of his crystal clear water. “I genuinely need to know whether or not you still harbour any pleasant feeling towards me?”
“What are you saying? Of course I do, Neuvillette—I admit you were unacceptably rough on me the past few weeks, but it would make me a poor lover if it were to stop me from harbouring affection to you.”
The judge sighed in relief, and then his expression became serious again.
“I would love nothing more than for us to marry, but I realise the circumstances of pushing you too much. Tell me, dear, if you no longer want to proceed in intimate acquiantance with me.”
You shook your head - seems like he was not hearing you. You then took his hand in yours and spelled it again, frankly:
“No, I want to be with you, wholeheartedly. And the marriage proposal, I shall accept it too.”
Pantalone
When Pantalone kidnapped you for no specific reason, days turned to weeks. You almost forgot about the existence of sunlight as he kept you there like a pretty little porcelain doll for his own amusement—or whatever his nasty reasons might have been.
The last time you tried to escape his gloomy, mysterious castle-like home, you were severely punished for your “bad behaviour”. Blood dripped down from your chin as you were sitting on the floor of a dark hollow room, chained and bruised by his henchmen. Perhaps he considered it too tacky to touch you with his own hands.
And then he entered. You didn't even want to look at his unapproachable, icy-cold eyes, and simply turned away, your eyes shut and hidden from him.
“How rough you look”, he said with his usual tone which was cold, but at the same time smooth like butter.
You were dehydrated and hungry, that’s for sure. You wanted nothing more than a warm fuzzy blanket and sweet tea, and forget this nightmare forever.
“When was the last time you had a proper meal?” He asked. He knew you never ate his food because you’d consider yourself indebted to him. And you did not want to take anything from this man.
Your face went deadly pale and bewildered when Pantalone dropped on his knees before you and started freeing you from your shackles. His hands were shaking wildly, you could witness how poorly he mastered the lockers due to his stress.
Yet without a single doubt, with no longer time to lose he wrapped his arms around your waist to carry you. His clothes were a little stained with the snow, and a bit of freezing touch made you shiver.
“I will never do this to you anymore. Forgive me. Please, forgive me.” His words that used to be spoken as an order now were slipped from his lips as a request.
You were laid in the warmth of the sheets of your own home. The familiar surroundings brought you joy and comfort you never knew you’d forgotten so easily.
“My butler is cooking a dinner for you in your kitchen.”
He watched the whole time you were eating, guarding you and seeing how desperately you were filling your stomach up. When you finished eating, there was one loud slap—against Pantalone’s face, by your hand. In a normal situation, he would be so angry and furious that the earth would shake of his abhor. But now he was simply taking it.
"I know. I should never have treated you like this. I ignored your wishes and violated your privacy. I’ve done the worst crime to you—I took your freedom”, he touched the red mark blooming on his cheek from your unexpected punishment. “I wanted to obtain you so much that I ended up hurting you instead.”
Ayato
He was rich to his fingertips. In his world, the only thing he could not have, but wanted to, was you. You found yourself working as his secretary, aesthetically pleasing and always efficient. But Ayato was ruthless; he could never be satisfied, he was always unhappy. The requirements to you were growing day by day, and keeping up the standards seemed an impossible task. His moods were changing like a thunderstorm.
It was a regular day when you were performing your duties that you felt someone’s presence behind your back. Ayato was not exactly above lurking so he made his presence known after you turned to face him. He did not expect you to turn so rapidly and ended up with his breath tickling against your face.
“Y/N, I’m sorry. I have been too demanding and controlling. My actions driven by raw possessiveness inflicted undesirable effect upon you”, Ayato’s words died away, though the expression on his face became even more grim and grave. “You do not deserve such treatment, any of it.”
You nearly dropped your working papers as you stared at him. Was this man really sincere? How long has he been overthinking about your relationship? It took you just a few seconds to gather your composure and strike him with an indifferent glare.
“It’s always so easy and costs no trouble for you, rich people. You just take what you want without considering either the outcome or other people’s feelings. You see people as things, belongings in your possession, and you never have enough.”
At that, Ayato became even more tense, his expression that was mainly seen by the most of people as sweet and gentle, now was an embodiment of darkness. Nevertheless he nodded to you.
“What should I do for you to forgive me? I’m not going to lie and say that I did not think about how harmful my attitude might have been to you for the past month. What think you? Do I even stand a chance?”
“Fat chance”, you chuckled under your breath. The laugh was almost too bitter rather than sarcastic.
Ayato took your hands in his, his black gloved thumbs rubbing against your skin slightly.
“You’re like a poison to me. A very addicting one. And the more I see you work for me, the more I want to have you by my side. Not just at a formal event…” he bit his pale pink lip for a moment. “I’m starting to feel as if I’d like to see you out of work circumstance, and the thoughts of such impropriety are enough to drive me utterly insane.”
You reciprocated the light squeeze that came from his hands, however yours was less obsessive and more gentle.
“It is a very dangerous thought, Ayato.”
“Oh, I can be a very dangerous man. For you, that is.”
Capitano
You were walking in Capitano’s garden, feeling yourself like a beautiful bird in a golden cage, but in fact you were a princess in a beast’s castle. Once you saw his real face, you kept having nightmares about his skin rotting appearance. This man was scaring you to the bone, and every time you met him, although not very often, you felt how demanding and heavy the gaze of his icy blue eyes was.
You did not see him often, but once a while Capitano requested (no, ordered!) a private dinner with you. The rooms were dimly lit, his loyal butler making preparations to the highest standards as usual, and you - wearing the most luxurious of dresses you’d only be able to peek at in the past. But your face was the odd one as it beared no smile on it. You were gravely terrified by this man who had claimed you as his. And even though you slept in separate rooms, you could not brush the feeling as if he owned you; well, he kind of did, since you dwelt in his mansion.
Per usual, you were having a dinner with him at about eight in the evening when Capitano finally spoke. His tone was filled with assertiveness and power, yet the way he was eating, the movements of his hands were elegant enough to remind you of an excellently-educated prince.
“Y/N, I need to speak to you.”
You shivered when you heard him, and you let go of the fork. The jingling sound spread across the room which put you even in an unnecessarily bigger predicament.
“Yes, sir?”
Capitano hummed - he put his utensils away and looked as if he was carefully choosing his words which was not a habit of his. This Harbinger often talked exactly what he thought and was known for his bluntness. Capitano never beat around the bush and was always straight to the point, and this was one of the personality traits of his that made you feel conflicted. It was both terrifying and worth of respect.
“I want you to stop being scared of me. I want you to see that there is more of me than a horriffic, ugly old beast.”
You gasped: did he just used those unflattering words to himself? It felt so odd and so frustrating.
“What feelings do you want me to harbour for you, given our unusual circumstances?”
There was a long pause before Capitano made a sip of his red wine and suggested the following:
“Affection is too much, but could you at least try to be friendly with me? Don’t you see—can’t you see how hard I’m trying to make your life with me less unbearable?”
Affection… friendliness… is that what he really needs from you?—you think.
“I’m a prisoner here, I cannot imagine how I am supposed to show any warm feelings towards you. It would be fake and stupid.”
“Then make them not fake and stupid.” Capitano raised from the table and stormed out of the dining room, leaving you alone in the dim light of candles.
Dottore
You woke up on the plain lab bed, still restrained but this time your pain was drastically diminished. When you opened your eyes the lights did not cut your sight right away and you realised that the room was only dimly lit. You sighed in relief - perhaps he went on a break and you had a few moments of rest from his constant analysis and experiments upon your body.
There were a few tattoos on your hands but too small to even understand their meanings. Perhaps it was something from Zandik’s past that he decided to ruthlessly carve on you.
Your happiness and sense of relief did not last long though, as the man who called himself Doctor entered the room not exactly quietly.
“Look who’s alive. I’m glad”, he wrote something on his notes, “very glad, even.”
“What are you going to do to me next? Turn me into… abomination?” You attempted to sound sarcastic even though all your being was screaming inside. “I’m pretty sure you have not gotten your fill yet out of me.”
Dottore abruptly stopped writing and dropped his journal on the lab desk next to you.
“I think we’re finished here.”
“What?”
“I said you’re free to go”, he cut your leather restraints with one rough motion that had a vibe of uncertainty of the soul.
You looked at your hands, your body cheered welcoming freedom, but at the bottom of your heart you were perplexed.
“But why?”
Dottore did not utter a single word more, with his face buried into his other records, he turned away from you completely ignoring your presence.
You found your clothes tidy and repaired on the chair, and put them on quickly. Upon escaping the place you saw that not a single Fatui agent was preventing you from leaving. You looked at the lab once more and a pang of strange kind of sorrow appeared in your heart. Perhaps, you should pay him a visit once you’re recovered? Or was it a bad idea?..
Alhaitham
The nerdy scholar was quite possessive and jealous. He had a very curious but rather depressive personality. You thought him a quiet man until one extraordinary and terrific experience.
Alhaitham locked a man in the library for the whole night after he saw him giving you too much attention and you happily reciprocating him. An innocent friendly conversation seemed a blunt flirt to him. He could not bear the thought you having affection to someone else who was not him. When he saw you first he realised that he wanted you to see only him, and give all your attention to him. He craved to see you wanting his company, clinging to him or even agreeing to date him. But since his personality was too aloof and he never ever attempted to simply ask you out, but kept staring at you from the side, stalking unnoticeably and gather all information about you, you never had a chance to learn of his true feelings. Behind his obsession there had to be something, as such strong feelings never came out of nowhere.
Upon seeing you chat with that guy Alhaitham grew so furious that he almost not giving it a thought just slammed the door with the poor guy in the library and left him there for the whole damn night. Blinded by his jealousy, he did not even consider how you’d feel about that. The next morning you were perplexed by the sudden disappearance of your classmate, and once the library opening time came, the student was finally released.
“How could you do this to him? To anyone?” You asked Alhaitham; it did not take much time to learn whose fault was that.
“How could I?” He asked you back, his expression grave and unmoveable as if he were not interested in a single thing in the world. “How could you spend so much time with him? He’s a total jerk.”
“Judging by what you did the total jerk is you! How could you simply lock the person up? Are you insane?”
Alhaitham’s patience started to grow thinner. He squeezed his hands into the fists so hard that his knuckled turned snow-white.
“Are you stupid? You really don’t see how I feel about you? And you keep being so nice to everyone but me. You’re obviously ignoring me.”
Bewildered, yet you finally understood the root of the case. You stared at him for a few seconds before checking if anyone was near to eavesdrop. Luckily, there was not a soul around so you spoke honestly:
“If you wanted to woo me, endangering someone was not a good idea. You did something I deem unacceptable. And such unacceptable actions will only make me like you less, Alhaitham.”
Alhaitham leaned closer, his voice was a gentle whisper.
“Right? Then teach me to woo you properly. I’ll do thousands of attempts to win you over, no matter the cost.” You pressed your hands against his shoulders to prevent him from getting into closer proximity with you, and Alhaitham, although not completely willingly, but still backed off.
#genshin impact x reader#genshin yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n#yandere neuvillette#yandere ayato#yandere pantalone#yandere capitano x reader#yandere dottore#yandere alhaitham#ayato x y/n#ayato x you#ayato x reader#neuvillette x y/n#neuvillette x you#pantalone x female reader#pantalone x you#pantalone x reader#pantalone x y/n#capitano x reader#capitano x y/n#capitano x you#dottore x you#alhaitham x y/n#neuvillette x female reader#neuvillette x reader#genshin x reader#anime x reader
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okay hi sorry i need to talk about the lucanis romance for a moment and why i think it's absolutely perfect. spoilers below the cut ofc
so obviously there are a limited number of romance scenes. i really do believe in the case of lucanis' romance this lends itself to telling his story.
we learn through party banter with him and emmerich that his relationship with rook is his first. and that's not suprising really, he's an assassin. he faces death constantly and aside from the fact that he could die at any moment, being in a relationship gives his enemies a weak spot to exploit. love and the weakness required to accept and give it is a risk he cannot afford in his line of work.
then you add on the fact that he's been in the ossuary for a year. he was definitely sure he was never getting out of there. and then he does but he's possessed.
so here's rook. and they're flirting with him and being all enticing and he thinks they're great. but he doesn't deserve love and he certainly can't risk it. he's an abomination, he'll put them in danger. and what happens afterwards? when he goes back to taking contracts? it only takes pissing off the wrong person once for rook to be in danger. so he mostly just talks around it. tried not to think about it or aknowledge it.
and then spite breaks through for the second time. and there's rook. again. and they're soft and understanding and kind and they remind him that under everything else, all of the trauma and the fear, he's human. they make him feel so safe and he starts to let his walls down.
we can't know for sure why he pulls away in that moment, but i think it's because he reminds himself how dangerous it is for him and for rook. he wants them terribly but it's such an awful no good idea so he drags himself away.
but he still cares for them. he makes them dessert and he keeps them safe and eventually he has to admit to himself that they're not just friends anymore.
and then rook is taken into the fade by solas.
he never tells rook, you only find this out in a bellara romance, but rook is in the fade for weeks.
all that time, lucanis is there and he's just full of regret. because holy shit he's fallen in love with them and now they're gone and he should've just told them. he should've held them like he wanted. because now he can't and he never will again.
and then they're back.
and he comes into their room and his words are so simple.
"i never thought id see you again. i thought id lost you"
and obviously the rest of his dialogue can vary in this scene but all of it is SO weighted if you consider the fact that he really did think they were dead.
"i do. i know how to feel."
"it's one of the things i love about you"
"i'm not going anywhere."
he is in LOVE with them and he's tired of fighting it. he's tired of pretending he isn't. he's tired of denying himself of what he wants because he's scared. because ultimately he did lose them, despite how careful he'd been, and it hurt just the same.
"i know how to feel." because he DOES now.
so in the last battle, before you fight elgernan, he tells you again just how much he loves you. how he'll do anything he needs to to be back in your arms when it's over. because those weeks without you were torture and he never wants to do that again. he wasted all that time terrified to hurt you but you got hurt anyway. why keep pretending? why keep denying himself the person he wants more than anything in the world? he goes from 0-100 because this is so much more real now. there's so much to lose.
"i've assumed you knew my heart because it beats for you. it's been beating... when i wanted you. when i was afraid to want you... tell me this ends with me asleep in your arms and i will kill any god you ask."
this one sentence conveys EVERYTHING. all of his longing throughout the game. how long he has loved rook. he didn't say it because he was afraid. but he's not afraid anymore.
so much of lucanis' romance is about subtext. it's about the things he doesn't say rather than the things he does.
i think it's absolutely beautiful.
#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age veilgaurd spoilers#dragon age the veilgaurd spoilers#dragon age spoilers#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#lucanis romance#lucanis romance spoilers#datv lucanis#lucanis x rook#da4 lucanis#dragon age lucanis#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis spoilers
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It Always Leads To You
( bllk boys as situationships )
a/n — girl whose never had a situationship writing about them? what could go wrong? (they progressively get longer lol)
content — some nsfw but not explicit, pining, GN! reader, some characters repeated, all characters are 18 or 18+
synopsis — what kind of situationship the bllk boys would be
⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆ ' and the heart i'm breaking is my own ' ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ the... ' but you're best friends! '
you'd rather spend money on a hotel than stay at home 24/7 for the next week. how could you walk into your house when you knew he'd be there, chatting with you family as if nothing had changed?
maybe you should've pretended you had to work.
that would have saved you the grief of having to see, who was supposed to be, your best friend. how could you face him when the last thing you two talked about was being a couple and that...not going as planned.
well, maybe that wasn't the last thing you two talked about with each other. however, does defiling your families bathroom really count as 'talking'? ( most awkward easter ever afterwards ) you didn't really think so.
whatever, he was a pro-soccer player now, he may not even be at home this christmas. you'd just have to put up with his family, who you'd always loved, and then you could go home and avoid the situation until the next big holiday.
but of course, when you stepped into your childhood home you realized that you'd never get that lucky. there he was, just as handsome as ever, sitting on your families couch.
in your eyes, he looked like he belonged with your family more than you, but you supposed he earned that. he came home every holiday, unlike you who continuously came up with different reasons to stay as far away as possible.
if you left now, maybe no one would know you'd even shown up-
" woah, y/n! it's you! " or...maybe not. " i haven't seen you in forever, what have you been up to? " the voice that plagued your every waking thought crashed its way into your ears.
your best friend ( could you even call him that anymore? were you still his best friend? ) got up from his spot on the couch to come wrap his arms around you in a hug that felt more like home than home did.
" i've missed you, ya know? " he whispered in your ear, hands caressing your back in what felt like much more than what a 'friends' hug would be.
just a week. you could survive and coexist with him for a week. your resolve to never sleep with him set in stone now.
you just wished your resolve wouldn't have crumbled only two days later while your family was downstairs watching christmas movies.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ REO MIKAGE, isagi yoichi, AIKU OLIVER, rensuke kunigami, TOBITO KARASU
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ the ' you cannot date them '
you’re a good person... or at least, you want to believe that. But how can you when your best friend sits in front of you now, talking about their ex?
she’s raving about how much she misses him, how everything fell apart at the worst time, how she’s still holding onto the hope that maybe they can fix things.
you try to smile and nod, pretending that you’re not dying inside. how can you even look her in the eye when he’s blowing up your phone right now? when you know exactly how he feels about you?
“it’s just so messed up, right?” she laughs nervously, like this is all just a bad breakup, nothing that can’t be smoothed over. “i’m not even sure what I’m supposed to do anymore.”
she doesn’t know that you already did something. You already did the one thing that could ruin everything. the one thing that she told you you could never do.
your phone continuously buzzing while she's talking, hoping she wouldn't notice you reach for it to silence it while she takes a sip of her drink.
your phone vibrates again, and you try not to look at it. you’re not sure if you’re worried that she’ll see, or that you’ll see what he’s saying. you’re scared of both.
him <3 ; are we still on for tonight? can’t wait to see you.
that familiar ache forms in your chest, and you can feel the betrayal to your friend, the confusion about your own feelings, but worse—there’s nothing you can do about it. you keep smiling, even though it feels like your heart’s sinking with every word your friend says.
" god, if you don't want to listen to me, just say so. " your friend says coldly. " i would have turned off my phone if it was you crying right now. "
" sorry, it's just my mom...talking about some new present she wants to get my brother. " you apologized. "oh, okay. is your brother a cutie?" you didn't even have a brother, showed how much she knew about you.
“whatever, what should i do?" your friend asks, her eyes bright with hope (or maybe delusion). "do you think I should text him? do you think we could still fix things?”
you want so badly to tell her the truth.
you want to be honest, to say what she needs to hear so that she doesn’t get her hopes up.
you want to tell her that he is already texting you, that maybe you are the reason he won’t talk to her.
but instead, you bite your lip and offer a shrug. "i don't know, honestly. maybe he needs time to figure out what he wants too."
"he doesn't need time. he needs me." she mused, staring at you like your answer was just the stupidest thing she'd heard all day. "no wonder you've never dated anyone, who'd like a ditz like you?"
The whole time, your phone is buzzing, buzzing, buzzing, like a constant reminder of your lie.
you; see you tonight :)
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ OTOYA EITA, ikki niko, RANZE KURONA, reo mikage, RYUSEI SHIDO
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧the... ' you'll never be first '
he's leaving soon, and you feel like you're dying.
you’d known for a long time that ‘casually’ seeing a pro soccer player would only lead to being left alone, especially someone like him—someone whose work always came first, and whose heart was as unreachable as the trophies he collected.
he’d said it more times than you could count: “love doesn’t come before soccer. It never will.” and you’d laughed, maybe even agreed at some point, understanding it was just the way things were.
so why does it feel like you’re drowning now, with him leaving just around the corner.
it doesn’t make sense. you’d known the deal from the start.
still, here you are—sitting in his bed, in the quiet of his room, the familiar hum of the city outside reminding you of how little time you really have left with him.
his suitcase is by the door, already half-packed, his jersey draped over the chair where he’d left it, as if he couldn't get out of here fast enough.
you’re almost sick to your stomach at the thought of him walking out that door in just a few days, never looking back.
you’ve spent enough time with him to know that when he leaves, he doesn’t look back. he doesn't look back at stadiums once he walks out, and he wouldn't look back at you either.
"it’s only a few months," he’d said, trying to make you feel better when the topic of him leaving first got brought up. “i’ll be back before you know it.”
but that’s not the point.
it’s never been the point.
you know he’ll be busy with games, traveling, sponsors,...women, all the things that make him too far to reach.
and yet, here you are, sitting in his bed, heart pounding, overwhelmed with the thought of it all ending. you thought you could handle this.
you thought you could be just another notch in his belt. but the truth is, you’ve been fooling yourself. you care too much. you’ve fallen for him, hard, and the worst part is—he doesn’t even realize it.
or maybe he does. maybe he’s known all along, and you were too scared to admit it.
the sound of his voice pulls you from your thoughts.
"hey, you okay?"
you glance over at him, watching him fiddle with his phone, one hand propped up on the headboard. his eyes meet yours, something in them that almost makes you believe he could stay. maybe, you're enough of a reason for him to stay where he is now.
but he won’t. you know that. his life is bigger than you. bigger than this city, this bed, and every memory you’ve shared together.
you nod, forcing a smile, trying to keep the strange bitterness from slipping into your voice.
"yeah, just thinking."
"don’t think too much." his lips curl up into that calming grin that’s made you feel better on several occasions. how could something that used to calm you make you feel like your heart was in your throat? “you’ll drive yourself crazy.”
it’s easy for him to say that. he’s used to moving on. he’s used to leaving. you? you're used to him being here.
his fingers tap absently against the screen of his phone. you can see the notifications lighting up—his agent, a few teammates, probably his parents, all reminding you of the inevitable: he’s leaving soon.
you want to scream. you want to ask him why he doesn’t care. why it’s so easy for him to slip away from everyone who loves him.
but instead, you pull your knees to your chest and keep your eyes fixed on him, as if the longer you look, you could magically gain telepathy to make him want to stay with you.
"how’s your flight looking?" you ask, hoping his answer would be that he cancelled it.
"all set."
and you can't breathe.
the casualness in his voice is what stings the most. the way he talks about leaving as if it’s just another day at the office, another game to be played.
he doesn’t get how you feel. maybe he can’t. maybe he’s just too busy not feeling anything.
The silence is deafening.
"do you... do you ever wish you could just stay?"
It’s a question you didn’t mean to ask, but it escapes before you can stop it.
You wish you could take it back the second it leaves your lips.
he looks up at you, and for the briefest moment, his eyes soften. for one second, he looks like he is completely and utterly yours.
he sets his phone down, sliding it onto the bedside table, then turns his full attention to you.
"i told you, didn’t i? love doesn’t come before soccer."
The words hit you like a train, but it’s not the truth that hurts—it’s the way he says it, like it’s not up for debate. as if it’s always been this way, and it always will be.
why can't he just try? just try to come home every so often...to you.
you feel like a fool. as if you've put your heart on display for him just to not even glance your way.
you know where you stand, even if it’s tearing you apart.
he doesn’t lie to you, doesn’t promise you things he can’t give, and maybe that's why you fell for him in the first place—he was the first person who didn’t play games with you.
"i’m gonna miss you," you say quietly, knowing that admitting it aloud makes it even worse.
his eyes flicker with something, but it’s gone as quickly as it came. he shifts, pulling his knees up to match yours, as if to say he’s close, but still so far. he rests his head back against the headboard.
and for a moment, you almost forget he’s leaving. you forget about the suitcase by the door. you forget about the plane ticket he has. you forget that in just a few days he wont be yours anymore.
"i’ll miss you too," he says softly.
but that’s it. that’s all he says. it’s not a promise, not a declaration. just another passing remark to fill the silence.
he doesn't mean it. it's more of a kindness thing for him to say it back.
you can feel the weight of everything unsaid.
you realize—he doesn’t know how much you care. He can’t understand you.
he’s never been asked to stay.
you’re not even sure you’d want him to. you can’t ask him to change his life for you. and you couldn't keep up with the lifestyle he lives.
the idea of him walking away—of losing him to something bigger, to something you’ll never be able to keep—feels like it will break you.
so you just lie down on his bed, for the last time, you tell yourself.
'after tonight, he'll be free of me'
after tonight, you'd walk out that door and not look back.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ITOSHI RIN, nagi seishiro, SAE ITOSHI, isagi yoichi, RENSUKE KUNIGAMI
⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆ ' to leave the warmest bed i've ever known ' ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆
[ + your faves ! ]
again, i've never experienced this, so i hope the research i've done (looking up different types of situationships) has done it justice!
likes, comments, and reblogs appreciated!
#★ · airybcbyy#airy posts#airy writes for blue lock#bllk x reader#situationships#isagi yoichi x reader#rin itoshi x reader#sae itoshi x reader#kenyu yukimiya x reader#nagi seishiro#nagi x reader#mikage reo x reader#ranze kurona x reader#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader fluff#bllk#blue lock
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Alan didn't let William get out of this hug for a while - he just held him tight and rubbed his back soothingly. If Sebastian was going through something so serious, than it was more than telling when William looked like he looked today. Exhausted, big dark circles under his eyes, Alan just knew he worried so much, he couldn't imagine what these two were going through. On top of that, Sebastian was still so young. Getting such diagnosis at such point in time - it must be soul crushing.
Visiting him though seemed like an excellent idea, William agreed and so did the others. Sebastian seemed fine enough already for that. Eric smiled: "Great, then we could visit him all together. What about tomorrow, right after school? In which hospital does he stay, how far is it? We could get him some flowers and sweets, some chocolate, to cheer him up".
"Ohh yes, that sounds great. I can buy the flowers", Ronald volunteered with a grin, "I have experience in buying flowers, I've been getting Sonia a lot of them lately. I bet if I tell Seb that, he will feel better right away", he snickered - Sebastian would be always so grumpy whenever Ronald did something stupid regarding Sonia after all.
"That's great, then we can get the sweets. Will, you know best what he likes", Alan smiled, "But we'll manage. So then tomorrow after school? We can take our car, there's enough room for us", he patted William's back and only now pulled away from the hug, so he could look at him.
If Sebastian only knew what great friends he had - not only worried for him but caring for William too. He needed the support, more than anyone - he kept neglecting his needs for Sebastian, to be strong for him, but that could only work for so long either.
Around noon, Sebastian was alone in his room again - his neighbour was now in surgery and he got to chat with him only a little bit before. He was friendly, a former military guy but now retired. An interesting fellow to chat with for sure.
His body kept him busy either way - the pain was a handful today and the nurses didn't want to give him too high of a dose of pain meds all the time. Soreness was a part of recovery he supposed but he could barely move and he also couldn't sleep like that. So he was just in a constant state of exhaustion, feeling like a bus ran him over. He was counting seconds at this point - visiting hours just started and he couldn't wait for his boyfriend to come already.
Before that, though, someone else showed up.
"Sebastian...oh dear, I finally found your room, this place is a whole big maze, gosh..."
It was the most pleasant surprise. Sebastian's eyes lit up, he recognized her by the voice alone and his lips curved up into a smile. "Grandma-...grandma, you're here?"
"How could I not visit my favourite grandson", she grinned and she came to a halt right next to his bed as she gently took his hand, squeezed it. "When you're not able to visit me, I have to visit you", she smiled, big round glasses on her nose - Grandma Lillian, Sebastian's mother's mother. That was a big surprise, to say the least - they didn't see each other for well over a year, maybe called each other a handful of times. Usually they celebrated Christmas together with the whole family. But that didn't happen last Christmas - and now it was already mid of September.
"How are you? Are you better already, I thought you had such problems with your lungs?", Sebastian asked right away, his eyes big as he looked at her in awe - she merely chuckled at that question. She didn't look the youngest on her own anymore, her grey hair put up in a simple updo - she had a cane with her too, just in case.
"I should be asking you, my darling. Your mother told me just the other day, well-...she told me all about your illness. And that you had surgery. I didn't think I would get to see you in such hospital bed before me", she sighed, the look on her face sad and worried - it pained Sebastian, to say the least. "I thought about calling you but I needed to see you in person. It's been such a long time. How are you?"
For I have sinned...
The principal cleared his throat, eyes scanning the notes that he had wrote down before this meeting. It already lasted an hour, and the teachers gathered in the faculty room were becoming restless and bored. But indeed there were some things to discuss, with the concert that the senior class was supposed to perform at the end of the semester, and with recent staff changes.
William glanced down at his watch, sighing softly. His class was starting in 15 minutes, so at least, whether the meeting will be done soon or not, he will get to excuse himself. He looked out of the window, his mind wandering. Principal’s voice turned into white noise in the background. It was a pleasant day, late summer. But William was looking forward to a slightly cooler weather. Wearing all black could really be bothersome at times.
“And lastly, I am pleased to announce that we have finally found replacement for the violin teacher. Dear Mr Tanaka, may he rest in peace, was with us for so many years that I’ve been concerned we won’t be able to find someone as good as to fill this position.” the principal spoke. “But Mr… Michaelis, was highly recommended to me, and he indeed has impressive references. He will be starting this week, so please welcome him warmly once he will arrive. Ah yes… about that. He will arrive today at noon, I need someone to pick him up from the train station and bring over for the tour around the school. Any volunteers?”
William was barely listening, and definitely not paying much attention. He glanced at his watch again, and saw that it was time to leave, as his class was about to start. He raised his hand to excuse himself, and little did he know, he just volunteered.
“Father William! Excellent!” the principal exclaimed. “Just don’t be late, the train arrives at noon.”
“Train…?” William questioned, raising his brow. He had a feeling he was missing something…
***
Right after the meeting, William had to run for the class, so he had little time to clarify what exactly he had volunteered for. He was a piano teacher in this Music Academy, but also he served as a priest in local church. Well respected, and rather liked. So when he later found out it was about the new violin teacher, he didn’t refuse. Who, other than himself, would be a better choice to introduce a newcome to their community?
So even though he raised his hand by accident, he accepted this fate.
After classes, at noon, William took a taxi and drove to the train station, to pick up their new teacher. Wearing black trousers, and a black shirt with a thin tie, was absolutely dreadful in this weather, so William quickly found shelter under the roof of the station platform, that provided some shade.
The train had just arrived. William had no idea how Mr Michaelis looked like, but he figured he will just look for someone carrying a violin case with them.
He was in for a bit surprise.
@crazyvik97
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Mel is alive, but at what cost
Mel was nearly killed TWICE, her mother began being a struggle, she'd been thrown aside and trying her best to stop her, her boyfriend is not doing well, neither is anyone else (can't blame them) and the fact that she hadn't cried or spoke much about this situation to anyone a single time?? She IS upset about every single thing, yet she stays strong and enduring every bit of torture. The most she did was tell Jayce that Ambessa put her palm on the table, and let him know that she is going to push for hextech. That's it, nothing remotely related to her feelings.
The fact that she was constantly looking at Caitlyn, being able to understand her grief and knew she was in pain?? Mel knows this feeling. She'd went through it.
And in the end SHE has to pay the price of her mothers incompetence.
The intro is very much foreshadowing, we know the hands represent black rose/LeBlanc.
This is what happens in act one, she gets kidnapped by them. The lyrics do correspond to the characters as well (not just Mel, everyone.)
"Tell you you're the greatest" plays as a petal of the black rose floats down the screen, I think it adds significance to the power this organization holds, possibly the Medardas greatest foe.
"But once you turn, they hate us" both Ambessa and Mel were present in this line, I think its foreshadowing for when Ambessa switches up for whatever reason and goes against both Piltover AND Zaun. And Mel WILL go through change as well, a change that could hurt her relationship with others, and receive interest from others too.
"They hate us" could be read individually too, I feel like its a sort of "realization" ?? Perhaps Ambessa WASN'T the one that switched up, maybe Piltover switched up on them, and maybe Mel JUST got out of wherever she's taken to, and saw the mess Ambessa had done to her city??
I think this represents ACT TWO.
The hands pull away and it sort of looks like Mel is fighting back, a "get away from me" type of scream. you know what this reminds me of??
Don't mind me just pushing my Jinx/powder-Mel parallel agenda
Here is when i think Mel truly learns about LeBlanc/BR, she curiously and slowly goes to grab the rose, she learns about the history between her Mother and them, Kinos death, and most of all, learns about HERSELF. The lyrics speak otherwise.
"Pray away, I swear
I'll never be a saint, no way"
This feels like a parallel to caitlyn of sorts if that makes sense. Caitlyn had done everything to try and stop the council from attacking the Undercity, she kept her mouth shut when Jayce asked about Jinxs grenade, she was willing to protect Vi and the undercity, but how many times has she been tossed around? She'd been burned, exploded, kidnapped (god knows what happened during that time) and hit in the face by the same person, her MOTHER died because of the same person. She has every right to go insane. And she is hunting ONE person, which is Jinx. Although she is harming the people around her along the way.
What if Mel goes through a similar situation? Her mother pushed for war in her city, she dragged the enemy along with her even if she didn't mean to, she manipulated everyone around her INCLUDING Jayce, she LITERALLY got Mel hurt from the chembarons attack and killed so many people during a MEMORIAL to get her hextech weapons, Elora is most likely DEAD, not to mention whatever happened in the past between them. And the thing is, this will NEVER end throughout the entire season.
And what if she learns what she is? That she's 'blessed' by Kindred? The fact that the wolf is quite literally in her blood?
I feel like the "ill never be a saint, no way" also sort of indicates Mel will realize she'll never be able to push for peace and mercy like she always hoped for no matter what, and she comes to accept that as much as it hurts. But not like how ambessa accepted the wolf, but she sort of realizes she needs to push a little violence, towards nobody but the one and only, Ambessa "fine, if you want me to be like you, I guess I'll be like you towards YOU." Type of acceptance.
I think its also related to Mels new outfit too, she's dressed like her mother, in red and all of that. I will still stand by the idea that she has plans to decieve, but she will do something she doesn't want to do.
Mel was left with no choice, that lyric sounds like realization, acceptance, but also like a plea at the same time, an "I'll never be who I wanted to be" because in the end, she's still a Medarda, she's still her mothers daughter, she still has violence in her veins, she will never not suffer from the weight her name holds, and she will never escape it either, its like a shadow.
The Characters won't be themselves at their core this season. And those vital parts of their characters that represent them are no longer there in the intro, they all have given up what makes them, THEM design wise. (e.g.) Vi without her tattoo, Viktor hiding his identity with the mask. And the thing is, they did that to themselves because they do self-harm, they're changing themselves because THEY want to, they're forcing themselves to do that, they think they're undeserving and they're erasing their past selves.
But Mel? Mel doesn't have her gold accessories, Jewelry, or her Armor, she'd been stripped bare and hidden away because of the brutality of her name. She pays the price her mother brought to HER city. She's forced to change herself against her will, because nobody is giving her a chance to push for her ideals.
This entire theory never ends, and with all of this? I kinda do see Mel actually committing Matricide, it lifts the "Ambessa will die" theory further.
#arcane#mel medarda#mel arcane#arcane s2#arcane league of legends#ambessa medarda#ambessa arcane#arcane mel#arcane season two#arcane season 2#Arcane theory#arcane analysis#arcane spoilers#arcane series#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane intro#matricide#analysis#character analysis#leblanc lol#black rose#mel and ambessa#ambessa#arcane ambessa#ambessa league of legends#lol ambessa#league of legends#Mel needs a hug#And a break#And a blanket
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