#how can i still feel like this inexplicable way
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The sun sets molten across the server, brushing the horizon in strokes of fiery reds and sickly, lurid golds. Rivulets of light drip sluggishly between the boughs of the dark oaks around Grian and glint against the diamond blade held loose at his side—a mere precaution, in this space between one held breath and the next. The night is young enough to have not yet spawned its monsters, and evenings are an agreed-upon respite this early in the game.
Grian flexes his hand around the sword as he walks. As newly-crafted as it is, the leather grip is still stiff, and it cuts a hard crease into where his time ticks away between the green lines of his palm. The heart and the life lines, he vaguely recalls, working in tandem to cease the pulse at his wrist. Who had told him that? It doesn’t matter.
The din of the day has faded into a buzzing hum that reverberates across Grian’s nerves. His shoulders feel pinched within the confines of the jacket Joel had wrangled him into. The grass doesn’t sound quite right beneath his soles. There is a sense of wrongness that clings to the back of his neck.
“Fancy seeing you here!”
His blade is at Scar’s throat before Grian can register the movement. “Scar!” He lowers his arm and glares. He does not put the sword away. “You can’t do that to a man.”
Scar’s grin is far too crooked to be anything close to the sheepishness he tries to sell it as. “Sorry, sorry,” he says, meaning approximately none of it. “Beautiful day we’re having, isn’t it? Would you just feel that breeze! The air is ripe with opportunity, don’t you think?”
“Uh huh,” Grian says drily. “Were you following me?”
“It’s all coincidences, Grian, all coincidence,” Scar says with a wink. His tinted glasses are perched rather precariously on his face. Behind them, in such low light, his eyes look odd. “I just happened to be in the area! That sword is completely unnecessary, by the way.”
“Do you want something? Is that what this is?”
“Can’t a guy just visit with his favorite bread bridge boy?”
“Bad Boy,” Grian corrects, and immediately wonders why he bothers. “And anyway, I’m hardly on favorite grounds.”
“Oh, nonsense.” Scar waves him away, and his striped shirt—predominantly buttoned for once—ripples with it. “Joel’s definitely crossed off the potential list, we can rule him out. Jimmy and you are about even on the mischief meter, but between you and me, you wear those sunglasses better.”
Grian wrinkles his nose. “They weren’t my idea.”
“And yet here you are, wearing sunglasses after the sun’s gone down.”
“On my head.” Grian gestures at where they’re propped in his hair to emphasize his point. “You’re over here actually wearing yours. Why are they blue, anyway? That’s got to make the world look weird.”
“Oh, they do,” Scar agrees. He slides off his glasses and takes a moment to consider them before, without warning, turning them around and sticking them on Grian’s face.
Grian’s sputtering protest dies in his throat as Scar adjusts where the glasses lay behind his left ear, brushing the shell of it in the process. Scar’s skin is rough with callouses and his touch is gentle. Grian is suddenly, inexplicably warm.
Once satisfied with his work, Scar takes a step back and tilts his head. The blue tint of the glasses does color the world strangely, but every observation of it is taken from Grian’s peripheral; his field of vision seems to have narrowed to encompass Scar alone. Like this, his eyes appear sea-green, and it’s nicer than the near-fluorescent shade his current life gives him, but Grian can’t help but think of kinder worlds and the lovely, lively emerald they bring with them.
“Well?” Scar prompts.
After Grian’s remembered how to breathe, he huffs at Scar. “Now I’m wearing two pairs of stupid glasses—hey!”
Scar steals Grian’s sunglasses and slides them into his own hair, and it’s stupid, really, how well he pulls them off. He strikes a pose and asks, “How do I look?”
“Like an idiot,” Grian deadpans, but the quirk of his lip betrays the straight face he’s trying to keep. This is the problem with Scar: no matter what may lie between them, regardless of the sides they stand on, it never takes Scar long to slip between the barbs of Grian’s scowl and soften the points into a smile.
Scar is entirely too aware of such an issue for Grian’s personal liking, if how his eyes crinkle at the corners is anything to go by. “A matching pair we make, then!”
“Hey, now, don’t go lumping me into this.” Grian’s sure the blue glasses look silly on him without the context of the rest of Scar’s get-up.
From a nearby tree, a spider leaps towards them with its mandibles splayed. Grian strikes it down in two hits; after it disappears, he turns to raise an eyebrow at Scar.
“Maybe the sword had some use,” Scar concedes, “but not against me!”
“We’re both green; I wouldn’t have killed you anyway,” Grian remarks.
“Of course, of course, that comes later.” Scar is easily wry and comfortably teasing.
“Of course.” Grian smirks. The night is dark. The faint, flickering light of a nearby torch illuminates Scar’s lingering smile—a small, private thing, accompanied by a slight pitch in his brow. Grian’s voice comes out lower than he means it to as he says, “Best be getting back, yeah? You wouldn’t want to lose time to some old skeleton.”
“Bedtime waits for no man.” Scar nods. “Especially if you’re teamed with Bdubs.”
Grian laughs. His fingers twitch at his side for something he can’t name but feels twisting in his chest. “Goodnight, Scar.”
“Goodnight, Grian!” With one last flash of his teeth, Scar’s unprotected back recedes further into the forest as he heads for the Clockers’ base. A beat passes, then another, as Grian’s feet remain rooted in place.
Nearby rattling shakes him of his stupor. Sighing, Grian passes a hand over his face as he starts in the direction of the bridge. Belatedly, he realizes he’s still wearing Scar’s glasses.
He folds them carefully into his pocket before he reaches the Bread Bridge. The world’s strangeness no longer has the justification of a filtered view. The stars don’t look quite right above him.
Before beginning the climb to the half-burnt mansion’s roof, Grian lightly touches the glasses’ translucent rim. He does not think about too-green eyes and too-indulgent smiles. He does not think about blood that always stains the same.
He’ll give the glasses back tomorrow.
#shrugs#i do enjoy the idea of the liml map just being kind of off-putting in a way you can’t put an entire finger on#it’s liminal it’s too saturated it’s entirely alien every part of it reminds you of moments passed#the people are the same. they bleed as they always have#limited life smp#grian#goodtimeswithscar#desert duo#scarian#trafficshipping#trafficfic#my writing
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Regret is all that stays at the end. Being haunted by the memories of you is not something that I asked for .
What a waste of us. What a waste of love .
#heart and soul#heartburn#heartbrokcnn#heartbroken#sadness is all over me#sadness is rebellion#i truly wonder#how can i still feel like this inexplicable way#its been 3 years#what was it all for#this ?#heartbreak#sadness#and being broken
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I'm gonna bully Lif again
I'll admit, some of these answers don't cover all the bases, but. What are we thinking, here. What is The Truth behind The Twink Death? 🤨🎤
I will also be accepting write-in responses as usual 🫡
#fire emblem#feh#fe lif#fe alfonse#one answer i refuse to put on here just bc of how badly i think it would squeue results:#has exclusive access to bruno's workout routine#BUT I FEEL LIKE. IF I PUT THAT AS AN OPTION. EVERYONE WOULD PICK IT. I WOULD PICK IT IN A HEARTBEAT#some of my own notes: changing up the body modification option to be more vague#BUT. some thoughts were 'via surgery/magic' and specifying he sought it out himself#i just simplified it to look better on the poll. but the IDEA here. ESPP in the same vein as the insoles#i cannot remember where. but i feel like it's canon that alfonse has a degree of body dysmorphia?#or at very least has some insecurity about it. not being as tall as gustav/bruno (sir. you are allegedly 5'11.)#and not being as muscular as them either. i swear to god i'm not just making this up. it has to exist in SOME obscure line somewhere#or i just hallucinated that. but then again i found out one of my long-standing hcs actually had a basis IN canon#i just. forgor. so. anything is possible 💪💪💪 (this one was about alfonse/sharena/bruno being childhood friends)#badly wanted to make another undead joke but now i'm paranoid that i'm spreading misinfo#like i think The Lore is that lif and theasir were sole survivors. technically not rezzed. but like.... gah#i do gotta finish my book 3 replay. i promise i will. i'm SO close (has to do book 2 quotes first)#still the embalming accident option no elaboration is just too funny to me. cannot pass it up#ALSO. ALSO. the veggies/milk option. is mostly a joke but goes back to my hcs about#alfonse being scrawny as a kid up until he joins the order. actually starts to fill out more#when he feels inexplicably more secure. also sharena helping any way she can.#LIKE. ALL OF THESE ARE SILLY. but a lot of them have internal lore reasons. varying degrees of actual canonness#i also want each option to be compelling in some way. like what does this say about him#or what happened to him. just. in general.#THERE'S. KINDA NO GREATER PURPOSE TO THIS BTW. kinda.#it's just that whenever i think anything even vaguely related to book 3 i get the UNFATHOMABLY PROFOUND URGE#to stick a kick me note on lif's back and wait.#it's either that or just blackout horny. no in between. also the grief. i need to kill him again.
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lemme tell you im starting to get a little sick of when im complaining about when a show or movie is writing a major female character with not as much depth as her male cohorts or she's written oddly plot device-like for a main character and people always tell me "oh but it's intentional, we're seeing her through the eyes of the male main character and he has a crush on her so he doesnt see her flaws" because like
FIRST of all yeah i get it but its hard to write that trope interestingly to me at this point without a lot of work put into subversion so intentionality doesnt make it any less boring
SECONDLY half the time people say this about ensemble cast stuff and like why is the random dude suddenly designated as the most perspective of all perspective characters when it comes to this specific woman. why dont we get to see the other characters perspectives on her too?
AND THIRDLY do people view women they have crushes on as bland plot devices without lives of their own enough irl that this is so universal in writing? isnt the point of having a crush wanting to hang out and know more about your crush, know about their likes and dislikes and all that. am i missing something here
#im gonna sound insane for what im about to say. but i grew up watching way to much harem anime for a 10 year old#and im gonna be honest. maybe that spoiled me? those things were not without their flaws but at least the 5 different magical giant#goddess demon vampire women with multicoloured hair inexplicably in love with random normal guy at least had like. inner lives#like thats why the guy is so normal and bland. because the focus is on the magical women and their pink hair and their complicated#backstories and familial lives and whatever outside of the main character#like theyre still big boobied colourful haired fantasies but at least they showed me something about em#when it comes to these other stories where a woman is treated like a plot device love interest and written like a dead wife in an#action movie but like. alive. i cant help but feel like. are you holding out on me? i want to know her. show me her LIFE i want to SEE IT#grabs writers by the collar ARE YOU HOLDING OUT ON ME???#its nuts because sometimes you see the bones of a really cool character but the writers are more interested in what she can do for the main#male character and how he sees her than whats going on in her head. i dunno im just getting annoyed. i think u can do this trope well#like how i think you can write basically any trope well. but i see intentionality used an excuse so often so i wanna see you do#SOMETHING interesting with this trope if ur gonna do it at least. subvert it in cool ways i dunno just do ANYTHING hfjdkjfkd
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PLEEEEASE a nsfw alphabet for Stanford??🥺
SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG
Stanford Pines NSFW Alphabet
A= Aftercare (what they're like after sex)
Despite the tiredness and embarrassment once the heat of the moment wears off, Ford goes to great lengths to wrap you in his arms and hold you tight against his chest, where you can hear his heartbeat. He likes to let you know how well you did, and how much he loves you. Caresses and kisses, as well as laughter and sweet whispers until falling asleep are never lacking.
B= Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Ford would always say his brain. He is a cool, methodical person who almost always finds a way to achieve great results. Thinking and ingenuity are like breathing to him. But of course in this case that's not the answer; considering that the last thing he can use is his brain when he has you in front of him. It is as if only his heart exists, beating wildly at the sight of the most beautiful and inexplicable thing he has been able to witness in his entire existence: you.
That being the case, he can't find any other part of himself that he likes enough. Maybe his hands, because he knows how much you love it when he touches you. And if it's you, it would be everything—Ford is unable to pick just one part of your body. If he had to, maybe it would be your waist; because he loves to grab you with both hands from that spot to keep you still, under or on top of him, and at whatever pace he can best get those sweet sounds out of you that fascinate him so much.
C= Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He cums a lot and hard. Preferably inside you or on your face; sometimes pushing a little with his fingers to fill your mouth with his cum. He loves it when you clean his hand with your tongue.
D= Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Ford would never tell you—there's a reason it's a secret. But do you still remember those times when you couldn't find your underwear, and suspiciously it was during the weekdays when Ford took care of the laundry, and oddly enough he took all the time in the world to iron and put the laundry away...? Yeah, well. I think you know what I mean. Don't mention to him how obvious it is that he's been stealing your underwear to masturbate with it. Don't tell him, really.
Also don't mention that you've actually felt him cling to you when you sleep; looking for more than just warmth at night. Don't tell him that you clearly feel him down there—hard and warm.
Or do. Who knows what might happen.
E= Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Technically no experience at all. Of course he had gotten to kiss other women, maybe a little touch with one or two, but that was many, many years ago; by now he hardly remembers anything at all. Besides he was very young; he used to think differently and be busier with his research. Now that the world is at peace and he can enjoy the calm and family life, it is more than obvious that the only thing he has to defend himself at the beginning of the relationship is all theoretical. It's not a terrible thing, of course. Ford is willing to experiment and learn with you.
F= Favorite position
There are still many positions to try and discover, but the most used —for comfort and practicality— are three par excellence.
Doggy, because nothing is nicer than being able to see you under him, with your ass and waist at his disposal to play to his heart's content.
Cowgirl/Cowboy, because even though he loves making love to you, Ford has to accept that at his age it's hard to stay steady all the time. Sometimes he needs a little help from you to avoid looking pathetic for getting tired after so much action—even if you tell him there's nothing pathetic about it. Besides, don't you look lovely on top of him, with your body shaking and your eyes glazed over? Best view of all.
Spooning, because Ford goes crazy holding you from behind, pushing his hips against your ass; with one of his hands working over your body and his lips on your neck, waking you up from a long night of deep sleep. This man is desperate to touch you.
G= Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Ford is quite serious during the moment, but this is because he is a very shy person about approaching you to begin with. Even if it comes to playing along with you he is the first and last to get embarrassed. An occasional nervous laugh; sometimes little choked sentences if he notices you looking at him too much, and that makes him lose his concentration. But in general he is someone very focused, who seeks not to lose the thread of the moment. His biggest fear is disappointing you.
H= Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
A lot of things happened and he hasn't had the time, nor the desire, to get down to work there. That being the case, I'd say hairy; but at least he's started to take the time to trim it down a bit and make it halfway nice for you. If it's something that would bother you, Ford is willing to trim it further—even all of it.
But yeah. Super hairy.
I= Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Ford takes care to be careful with everything he does or says, always seeking to satisfy the needs of your body and mind; every fantasy you have closely tied to everything he does to make you feel fulfilled. He is a dedicated man, with nimble hands and a sensitive heart. Sweet and witty words are never lacking, always driving you crazy in his arms and against his lips. Sensuality is never in short supply.
J= Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He's been starting to do it more often since he's been with you. Not a lot, because he prefers to do it with you; but once in a while never hurts if he can't get you out of his head. He needs at least something of yours to make him cum—your underwear or the warmth of your body. He needs you.
He cums fast and hard, with the piece of clothing against his face, inhaling intensely; or with a free hand on your body, against your skin.
K= Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Definitely role-playing and cockwarming.
L= Location (favorite places to do the do)
Private places, if possible. Ford doesn't want to risk the possibility of being seen by someone else. He loves to have you in the bedroom, or even in his study room. Any place where no one and nothing will interrupt you.
M= Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
To see you in his clothes, to hear your voice, to come on to him... to suddenly appear dressed for some sensual and perverse role-playing... My goodness, how you drive him crazy.
Ford is a simple guy: he sees his partner existing and making eyes at him, and suddenly he feels his body warm and ready to go.
N= No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Threesomes, because he can't accept the idea of seeing you with someone else, let alone seeing himself with someone other than you. Ford is also unwilling to degrade you or physically harm you; just as he does not find it attractive to allow the same to be done to him.
O= Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Ford loves to receive oral, but he prefers to give it. He loves to put his mouth down there, tasting you and pulling out sounds that haunt him in his best dreams. You are a delight. Even if he's inexperienced, he's so desperate to have you in his mouth that the guy learns in no time to meet your expectations. There's no way not to lose your mind when Ford is taking care of everything between your legs; with his hands holding you by the flesh of your thighs, with his fingers caressing your skin.
Imagine his face if you proposed sitting on it. Imagine that, I insist. It's the best.
P= Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Slow and sensual; deep and hard. Getting all the way in, Ford always gives a little push to press himself against you, hiding his face in the space of your neck. He will talk to you through this—be prepared for a couple of whimpers and muffled moans.
Q= Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He doesn't like them at all. He prefers to take his time with you. Although if you are very needy, then maybe he can find a way.
R= Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Ford loves to experiment! And with that always comes risk. But when it comes to sex, this all takes a different turn; and while he's willing to try new things and experiment with you, he'll always be against anything that might hurt you or make you both uncomfortable.
S= Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
The years and the various experiences out in the open have weathered Ford, and have made him a man with a lot of physical capacity to endure long hours without sleep and with a lot of work. Research work, of course; the physical stuff has always been for fighting or survival.
With this in mind, Ford is able to handle quite a bit of foreplay and sex itself, but he tires quickly after a second round—if the first one wasn't strong enough. Even if he feels he can't go on, he has no problem helping you by using his hands or mouth; as well as any other part of his body that comes in handy. Hopefully and maybe there will be another round if you manage to turn him on one more time.
T= Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Ford doesn't need toys. He only needs you. Now, if in a hypothetical case you would like to use one, he has no problem even designing his own to use with you. At first you tell him no, because it's easier to buy them; but after seeing some plans and listening to him talk so excitedly, seeing that he even starts to consider the idea of implementing other things when it comes to sex, you come to the conclusion that maybe it's not so bad.
Ford opts to use toys on you, not him. They don't get his attention that way.
U= Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Not so much, really. He thinks it's cute to see you being so desperate for him. But at the end of the day it's something that makes him desperate too. Ford couldn't stand to play with you like this for long; he needs to accede to your needs in order to satisfy his own.
V= Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Whimpers A LOT, and likes to moan loudly—but tries to drown them out, fearful that someone might hear them.
If the two of you are in a place where you can be sure not to be overheard, Ford sets out to talk to you during the act.
W= Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He's unexpected and always manages to sweep you off your feet, but Ford is capable of the hottest dirty talk you can imagine. When you least expect it you have him with his lips on your ear, his hot breath on your skin, and his husky, deep voice of desire spitting out dirty, kinky phrases that keep you with your hands pushing against his chest; his fingers pressing against the skin of your neck, surprising you with how much this man can separate himself from the real world and let you drown in his darkest fantasies.
Ford prefers not to talk about it after everything calms down. It will take some time.
X= X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Not as long, but definitely fat. The tip is quite sensitive. Slightly curved downward.
Y= Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Since he discovered how fascinating your touch is, quite high. Although it's more what he desires than what he can get to do. If he gets careless, he comes quickly. It's fun to play on his desperation and make him wait; that might help him endure his neediness with you a little longer.
Z= Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Pretty fast; but he strives to see that you're okay after all, and that you're resting with him. His priority is you, after all.
#fanfic#reader insert#reader#ns//fw#gravity falls stanford#gravity falls#stanford pines x reader#stanford pines#ford pines#ford
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hi !! can i request a sirius x whimsical! reader? maybe sirius and reader meeting for the first time or him revealing their relationship to the other marauders? Whatever you like best <33 Happy New Years !!
My shayla <3333 Thanks for requesting angel, happy new years to you too!
cw: near-miss motorcycle accident
Sirius Black x whimsical!reader ♡ 843 words
Sirius likes to take his bike out at night. He’ll find any excuse to do it, a shortage of sugar or a hankering for chips or an urge to visit James across town. And tonight is perfect for a ride; the wind is cool as it whips past his jacket and tangles in his hair, the roads are near desolate, and neon signs and lit windows smear across the edges of Sirius’ vision as he flies through green lights. This is to say, he’s really having a rather good night when you nearly end both of your lives.
You’re hardly a shadowy figure stepping out into the road, gaze skyward and green traffic light casting you in ghostly silhouette. Sirius’ breath catches in his throat as his tires squeal against the asphalt. He barely manages to come to a stop.
“Oi!”
You turn towards him like you’ve only just realized he’s there. You probably have. The light casts a green halo around you and obscures your face, but Sirius can see your eyes fall on him curiously.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, walking out right in front of me?” he asks, heart beating a mile a minute.
“I’m sorry.” You’re surprisingly calm for someone who’s just faced death. Your voice is like the wind whistling through trees. Sirius finds himself leaning forward to hear it. “Was I in your way?”
He laughs, appalled. “Yeah! Yeah, I’d say so, seeing as I was going up to a green light and suddenly you were in the middle of the street.”
“But…” You glance down at his bike. “...couldn’t you have gone around?”
Sirius might laugh again, if you didn’t sound so genuinely curious. As it is, he’s shocked into silence. A single, disbelieving breath puffs into the space between you.
You take a few steps toward him. Your features come more into focus, pretty and innocently perplexed. Your brows bend with concern.
“Are you alright?”
Sirius finds himself nodding. “Yeah,” he says. “Though I wouldn’t have been, if I hadn’t seen you in time. Neither would you.”
“I’m sorry,” you say again. You seem to mean it.
Sirius leans his elbows on his handlebars, bike still rumbling beneath him. He finds, oddly, that the anger at your transgression has left him. The light is red now, but you hold his gaze, still standing in the middle of the crosswalk. You seem unsure of what to do next. Sirius has the inexplicable sense that you won’t leave until you feel things have been righted.
He asks, “Why are you wandering about at this hour, anyway?”
It’s not his business and he knows it, but this doesn’t seem to occur to you.
“I was looking for the moon,” you say.
Sirius blinks. “The moon.” He was expecting you to be out for milk or biscuits, not the moon.
You nod.
“Why?”
“I can’t see it from my apartment,” you say, as though that explains it.
“But why do you need to see it?”
Your brow furrows like Sirius has said an odd thing. “I want to,” you reply simply.
Sirius sucks his teeth, considering you. “I got a glimpse of it earlier,” he says, pointing East with his chin. “Over there. It wasn’t very impressive, I have to tell you. Only a sliver.”
At his description, your face lights up. “Really?” you ask, as animated as you’ve been this whole while. “How thin? Was it bright?”
Clearly, Sirius isn’t going to dissuade you.
“I can try and help you find it, if you want.” He says it without any plan to, like the words are simply pulled from him. “My bike’s a bit faster than going on foot.”
You smile. It’s sweeter and more brilliant than the moon could ever hope for. “Really?”
“Sure.”
You look eager, but hesitate. “Are you going to abduct me as revenge for crossing the street in front of you?”
Sirius laughs, but sobers when he realizes you’re not joking.
“I did think about it,” he says, “but I’ve decided not to, no.”
“All right, then.” You step up to his bike, sliding one leg easily over the seat in back of Sirius. You take hold of him without him telling you, and through the material of his shirt your hands feel cool against his abdomen.
When the light turns green again, Sirius sets off at a crawl. You press closer, winding your arms tighter around his waist. He’s going slow enough that the breeze barely catches in his hair. He turns to speak to you.
“I have to ask,” he says, “do you really believe I won’t kidnap you just because I said I wouldn’t?”
Your lips come so close to his ear Sirius has to fight a shiver when you speak. “I don’t think you’re a liar.”
“So you don’t think I’d lie, but you did think I might kidnap you?”
“You don’t seem like a liar; you do seem like someone who enjoys revenge.”
Sirius grins into the wind. You might just have him figured out.
#sirius black#sirius black x reader#whimsical!reader#sirius black x whimsical!reader#sirius black x fem!reader#sirius black x y/n#sirius black x you#sirius black x self insert#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black fanfic#sirius black fic#sirius black fluff#sirius black imagine#sirius black scenario#sirius black drabble#sirius black blurb#sirius black oneshot#sirius black one shot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders era#marauders x reader
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before we shatter — jjk [one]
genre : established relationship, idol!jungkook
word count : 6k
summary : dating an idol is fun, they said. having a family with one is fun, they said. Until you're falling face forward because of your reality. A reality where Jungkook dreams of a future and a reality where your own future is collapsed.
chapter warnings : nsfw, strong language, mature content, fluff, so much angst, smut, talks of infertility, clit sucking, fingering, Jungkook worships her, dirty talk, doggy style, reader is in so much pain i love her sm, fall vibes <33, gift giving as a love language, pussy slapping with his d, big dick energy, jungkook is desperate. that's about it please mention if i missed anything.
read part two here
a/n : based on this ask so thank you anon for coming forward and giving me a chance to write this. i also wanna mention that im no doctor so please forgive me if i didn't do the topic of infertility justice. the second part gives more clarity in their case so please be kind to wait. enjoy and im v v grateful for you. you're so loved.
When you were a child, barely five, an orange butterfly came flying outside your front door. Your mom told you about it since she saw it first causing your entire face to instantly light up like the fourth of july.
An inexplicable joy filled your whole body making your day ten times better, not that you were having a bad one. A five year old can’t have a bad day whatsoever.
After you were done chasing it around, secretly hoping that it would land on your nose just the way they show on television, you had to let it go and head back inside.
Oddly enough the next morning you saw it again, this time it was not flapping its wings like it had last night, instead it was sitting on the window beside the door. Quiet and still.
You, ever so curious, had to ask your mom about it. “It might find comfort there,” she said.
Up until you met your boyfriend you had spent the majority of your time wondering where your comfort place is, what is that one place where you can just be yourself and not pretend to be some stoic woman. A place which lets you cry whenever you want but also replaces those tears with wide smiles and loud giggles.
Turns out, it’s your boyfriend’s arms.
It’s true. Jungkook with his kind, sparkly bambi eyes and bunny smile stole your damn heart a few years ago and is not willing to give it back. Although you can’t complain, in a world where people can’t seem to find the one for themselves, the angels up there granted you a guy every inch a gentleman. Safe to say it’s not one like one of those titular relationships you've come across.
He’s your solace, a roof where you can safely just about exist.
He heals you.
Dating an Idol comes with several perks, the biggest one of those being dealing with the huge amount of selective criticism. You feel hurt, of course, but when you’re with Jungkook, they are nothing but words behind a pixel. A pain that only lasts momentarily.
This pain though, is not as mundane. This one is making your stomach twist in apprehension. You’ve lost the count of how many deep breaths you’ve taken.
“I’m afraid this is a case of infertility miss _____” the doctor says, earning your attention.
You’re not able to form a word, however that does nothing to stop your subconscious mind from screaming, I knew it.
Being stupid enough to think you were well prepared to hear her say this, you mustered up the courage to enter the four walled white space which, at that time, didn’t feel as narrow as it does now. It’s almost as if it’s closing up on you.
Only after you sat before the woman in white coat and bad news, did you realize how gut wrenching this actually feels.
You face her with a weak smile, one that doesn’t actually reach your eyes, “Are- are you sure you’re not mistaken?”
Dr. Ana leans forward, resting her forearms on the table. The move itself tells you more than you need to. “Miss _____, I know it’ll be hard for you to come to terms with this but I suggest you try. I would also like to tell you, and I hope I’m not overstepping, but you can always go with adoption. The options are endless.”
Your throat feels awfully dry and you gulp. “Thank you uh, can I ask you for a favor?”
“Anything”
“If you happen to cross paths with Jungkook, please don’t mention anything about this to him.”
Dr. Ana flashes you a kind smile, “Of course not ____. It’s your personal matter. I wouldn’t dare.”
“Thanks a lot.”
With one last nod you excuse yourself from her office. Your phone buzzes inside your pocket and you take it out, seeing Jungkook’s number stare up at you.
“Hey”
���Hey, my love. Are you busy?” His voice nearly brings tears to your eyes. It also brings up a question. Will he act the same towards you after you tell him where you are and what you just heard? Will his voice be filled with the same amount of excitement and affection for you?
“No, honey. I’m actually at my sister’s place. She was craving some alone time with her husband and asked me to babysit Coco”
You can visualise him awing already. Jungkook has grown attached to your sister’s daughter a little too much. His bond with Coco is just so bright it makes you wonder if they happened to be an actual father and daughter duo in the past life. They’re both full of beans and it’s a delight to see them both together.
He chimes, “Ah my little Coco bean. Is she near? Let me hear my angel.”
Pinching the bridge of your nose, you try to come up with any transitory excuse that doesn’t make you run for the hills. “She’s sleeping right now. Made me work for it but I managed to settle her down”
Jungkook moans from the other side of the line and you mentally curse yourself. Not only are you lying through your teeth but also using your innocent niece as a pawn. From the day you began dating Jungkook, you’ve not looked at any other man. For the first time now, you have this nagging feeling as though you’re cheating on him.
“Well, alright next time then. When are you coming back home?”
“As soon as they do. Do you miss me already?” I tease.
“Pfft me and miss you? Impossible”
You gasp, the audacity of this boy. “How rude!!”
Your goofy boyfriend dares to chuckle, “I carry you with me everywhere I go, love. It’s hard to miss someone who’s this close to you every time of the day.”
It doesn’t take you long to grasp what he is referring to. The heart shaped bracelet rests proudly on his wrists and the man had refused to take it off ever since you gifted it to him. A sense of longing already creeps up in your heart, twisting it until you run out of breath.
Your chest expands as you fill it with much needed air, “Listen, honey I’ll give you a call soon yeah? I think Coco has woken up and I must go check if she needs something,” you fake a chuckle, “You know how she gets when she’s irritated”
“Oh yes of course. Promise to give me a call soon?”
This time the smile on your face is genuine, “I promise”
“Give Coco a kiss for me. I love you.”
“I love you.”
There’s a heavy weight on your chest as soon as you hang up the call. Maybe it has always been there. So, for a couple of minutes you just stand there in the hallway of the hospital taking in the sterile smell and worrisome patients, praying that the highest power up there gives you one last chance so you could try and fix what’s been ruined.
The commotion around you does nothing to overtake the voices in your head and sadness fires through you as you feel like you’re burning your boats. Despite all of that, you pray for one last time, this time for again being strong enough to let go.
Let go of your happiness.
Let go of your salvation.
Let go of your comfort.
Let go of Jungkook.
˚୨୧⋆。˚
You click the door shut behind you, hanging the coat on the rack. You’re not even done turning around when a muscular arm wraps around your abdomen and you’re pulled back against a taut chest.
“I missed you” his voice is muffled against your jumper.
You run your palms over Jungkook’s forearm, stopping to interlace your fingers with his.The way his hands fit with yours is adorable to you as if they were made to do so. The bracelet on his wrist is cool against your skin and you smile. “You know what’s funny? This guy I talked to earlier said it’s impossible for him to miss me”
He rests his chin on top of your shoulders, cheeks warm against yours. He has grown out a stubble which makes him look manlier for some reason and you can’t stop caressing it with your fingers whenever you cup his face.
“You’re talking to other guys?” If you hadn’t known Jungkook better than himself, you would have missed the pout of his lips when he said that.
You turn your face and place a sloppy kiss on his cheekbones, “Only my favourite guy in the whole world.”
He breaks out in a toothy grin and holds your gaze. “You’re my favourite girl too but I think you already know that.”
You nod but the pang of guilt is still lingering in your heart. “Still love hearing it.”
Jungkook releases you from his embrace and walks back, rounding the kitchen counter until he’s holding up a large bowl. “Ready for our fall ritual?”
Jungkook and you have been using your mum’s recipe to bake chocolate chip cookies every fall and while you enjoy baking with him, the thing that you take the most pleasure from is his face when he munches on the first cookie.
It’s one of your favorite sights ever. It takes quite a bit of effort to bake them but hell if you wouldn’t do it all over again just to see him close his eyes and moan like it is the best thing since sliced bread.
You join him behind the counter and look around. From the way the batter has already been prepared you suppose he’s been at it for a while. There are some chocochips in a small bowl across from you with some cranberries next to them because he knows you like them in your cookies.
“You don’t ever forget about the cranberries, do you?”
“Nope. They’re your favourite plus if you eat well, I can eat you well– ouch,” he jumps, “What was that for?”
You offer him a glare which does nothing to stop the smile threatening to break out of your lips, “Behave”
His face inches closer to yours, “Now honey don’t be acting like I didn’t give you the best orgasm this morning”
Oh well, how can you forget about that? Ninety nine percent of the time you love waking up in his arms while he’s the big spoon but there’s that one percent where he wakes you up with his head between your legs, sometimes with his face under your shirt sucking on your nipples. Indissoluble passion within him. His ability to satisfy you with his mouth alone needs to be studied because god if you don’t crave more and more.
You blink, once twice thrice, “You’re incorrigible”
He lets out a cackle at your flustered face as you wonder when you will stop blushing like a fool around him. It’s been years and he still makes you feel like you’re wrapped up in a ball of jitters. Jungkook leans back and straightens up. He plucks the apron from the counter before coming up behind you. “Hold your hair up for me” He demands.
You grab a fistful of your hair and lift them up as he settles it on your neck before tying the knot at your back. With one last kiss on the back of your neck he joins you.
“How long has it been since you began making this?”
“Not long ago. Thought I’d wait for you to come back home and then continue”
You watch him add the chocochips into the dough. His tattoos are barely visible behind the cozy sweater he’s wearing. At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, Jungkook with his perfect physique and gorgeous face looks good in everything, more so naked, but nothing triggers your cuteness aggression more than him wearing a fluffy knitted sweater, believe it or not. One which you knitted at that.
He pulls your attention away pausing your little drooling session, “How’s Coco bean doing?”
A sudden urge of getting close to him creeps up and you sneak between the counter and him, hugging him as you nuzzle your face in his chest. He smells like cinnamon. He places a gentle kiss on the crown of your head before resting his chin there.
“You smell so good”
“Thanks and she’s as chaotic as ever. Nailea bought the cutest pair of pyjamas for her,” you look up at him, “She looked like a loaf of bread when they made her wear it.”
“No way. Should we buy her another one of those?” he pulls back, barely able to hide the excitement on his face.
“You’re gonna spoil her”
“Damn right I will and if you call this spoiling, wait till I get one of those made by me.”
There it is.
If Jungkook wasn’t so fond of children, would it have been easier for you to cope? You do realize that you’re a stone’s throw away from losing him for once and for all. In the old days you heard somewhere that it takes a strong man to save to save himself and a great man to save another.
You want to be that brave person who saves him from lifelong loathing and regret towards you.
This turning point in your life gives you two options, one where you can hang by a thread and bite your tongue while you continue your life with him, another where you set him free. The latter one wins and you, however, lose.
“Hey you went silent there. You okay?” He cups your cheek with one hand, his thumb grazing your cheekbones so gently you try not to cry.
You nod and flash him a smile. Or at least you try to smile and detach yourself from him. “Perfect. Let’s get those cookies baking shall we?”
Jungkook keeps looking at you with an expression which tells you he’s trying to search for something, but you try not to give anything away. Yet.
He gives you a look, his eyes sparkling under the low light in the room,
“Wait here for a second i’ll be right back”
“Where are you goi-”
“Just a second. Don’t move” His voice trails off as he goes further into the bedroom. A minute later when he comes back, there’s nothing different about him except the sneaky smile on his face. He walks towards you and grabs you by the waist as he sits you on the counter. Your hands instantly clutch his shoulders for support.
“What is happening, baby?” You mumble, clearly in a fog.
He says nothing as he gets down on his knees. Taking a hold of your right leg, he places it on his thigh. You swallow.
He looks up, clashing his eyes with yours, “You ask too many questions, do you know that?”
Seconds later he’s taking something out of his jogger pocket and a cool sensation brushes your skin. You peek down, curiosity finally killing the cat as you see a silver anklet adorned by a pink stone in the middle of it embraced around your ankles.
His name is a whisper on your lips, “Jungkook”
He gets up, facing you as he stands. But not before pecking the anklet as well as your skin. His face which earlier was eerie, now entirely soft.
“Mom sent this for you.”
You don’t hold back tears this time, letting them run free. You glance at the jewellery again as it shines under the light of the kitchen lamp. The pink stone glares at you as if it knows you’re not worthy of such a valuable item.
“It’s beautiful”
He gently wipes the tears away,
“It’s just the beginning, love. I’m not gonna stop until I see a band wrapped around your finger. I feel too lonely being the only one there.”
You playfully smack him on the chest, a giggle slipping free. With a tired shake of your head you admit, “This is overwhelming”
“What is?” he asks,
“All of this,” you keep your gaze on him, sniffing as you continue,“Your little acts of service, your love, your presence and now this gift. I feel like I’m taking too much not giving enough”
Your throat feels too tight, as if someone is just cutting off your air supply when you should be feeling free in his arms.
Jungkook’s eyebrows tense as he reaches for you. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear he tries to reassure you, “Don’t say that. I hate when you question your worth,” he pecks the back of your hands, “These hands feed me, hold me when I need them to, give me warmth, gentle touches”,
His lips find both of your eyes next as you close them, feeling his soft lips on them,
“These eyes tear up with happiness every time you listen to me in the studio”,
Your ears follow next, “These ears tolerate my snoring”,
Then your lips, “And this mouth, my favourite, whispers ‘i love you’ to me every morning, leaves kisses on my skin, screams my name and most importantly, forms the loveliest smile when I make you happy.” His eyes are oh so gentle as he says this.
You’re about to respond when his phone buzzes on the counter next to you. Your heart stops. Fuck is it Dr. Ana?
To your surprise, it’s Jimin’s number on the screen.
“Pick it up, honey. It might be important.”
His thumb presses on the red button as he declines the call, “I’ll talk to him later. My girlfriend comes first.”
Neither of you say a word as the room gets filled with a comfortable silence. The cookies are long forgotten, your eyes doing all the talking. Even if you try your hardest you’re not sure you can say anything which is remotely justifiable of what he just said to you.
Jungkook is so much more than meets the eye, he’s vulnerable, he’s empathetic, he’s loving. His eyes shine the brightest when he’s happy about something and you’re so full of contempt about the fact that eventually you will be the one to snatch away that shine. This hornet’s nest is going to ruin me, ruin him.
“I wanna kiss you so bad” He whispers, leaning closer but you stop him with your palms on his chest.
“Wait, I-I want to talk about something”
His voice is downright pleading when he says, “Later baby. I’m fucking gonna die if I don’t take that mouth right now. Please?” his breath touches your bare lips.
Feeling a flutter in your chest you nod and he leans towards you, hand cupping your lower jaw as he touches his lips to yours. Softly at first, then his pace quickens. Your hands grab his sweater as you pull him even closer, deepening the kiss. His moan echoes followed by your own as you both lose yourselves in each other. You let go of every menacing thought and just focus on the taste of his lips.
He pulls back slightly, taking a deep breath as he fills his chest with air. Those beautiful lips are pink and swollen from the heated kiss you just shared with him. Getting rid of the sweater, he tosses it aside as his eyes sparkle with amusement.
Without wasting any time he begins nibbling at your neck, slightly biting onto it as your hands run over his back. He’s so beautiful it takes your breath away. Not to toot your own horn but you have the most gorgeous boyfriend and you’re not ashamed to show him off.
His lips ghost over your nipples from over your high neck top and you groan.
“Jungkook, please”
He pulls back with a smug look on his face, “Please what ____?”
“Please fuck me. I need your cock so bad.”
“Yeah? Is that what my girl wants?”
At this point your body is thrumming with anticipation and desire as you watch him move his hands closer to the waistband of your pants. His hands pause when they meet the lace material, his pupils dilate.
He smiles, “It’s the one I gifted you. Were you hoping for this huh?”
Your lips stretch into a smile. You hadn’t particularly hoped for this, no, because your relationship with him is not just based on physical pleasures. You guys have sex of course, but it’s not the prominent part of the bond you share. It’s more than that. The lace lingerie set was gifted to you by Jungkook on a random day. It was one of those quote unquote just because gifts.
“What do you think?” you ask, giving him a quick kiss.
He grabs you by the back of your neck and holds you there for a moment before leaning back and looking straight into your eyes. “I think you should lose it or else I’ll ruin it”
You gasp, swatting him on the bicep. “Don’t you dare. It’s my favourite pair”
Without preamble he picks you off the counter making you wrap your legs around his waist. You both are so close it takes your breath away. Chest to chest, groin to groin, face to face with lips inches away from each other’s as you share a breath.
He walks into your shared bedroom as you clash your lips against his, pulling his lower one between yours, earning a groan out of him. You both are downright feral, letting your hands run over every area of each other’s body. Jungkook’s hands grabbing your ass, yours pulling on his hair lightly before trailing down his chest, pausing on his pecs.
When you reach your bedroom, he sits himself down with you on top of his lap. Your hips move forward and you hiss as your still jean clad pussy brushes his cock. He’s so hard you wonder if he’s close to coming already.
Rough hands scrape over your back, hips, down your thigh before they finally settle on either side of your waist, gipping them tightly but also with a hint of gentleness. One thing you admire about your man is that he doesn’t treat you like a fragile woman, he knows you’re strong and you’ll not break if he’s rough with you.
Jungkook pulls back from your lips.“Fuck honey, you’re such a goddess. Look at this body. I still can’t believe I get to call you mine”
You shake your head, totally under his spell. “I’m the lucky one here, baby. You have no idea how lucky I am.”
His hand brushes over your ass before he dips it inside your pants, reaching your already soaked pussy as he pushes a finger inside you. This earns a whimper from you as you tip your head back.
“That’s where you’re wrong, ____. Want me to show you how lucky I am?” He takes the finger out before pumping it back again. You moan as his other hand gips the nape of your neck and he brings his mouth to your neck, biting on it.
“Oh my god” you cry, seeing him suck the finger clean and face forming an expression filled with the deepest level of satisfaction as he closes his eyes.
Setting his eyes back on you, he sighs, “This isn’t my first time tasting you, honey. But it gets better every fucking time and I find myself craving you an unhealthy amount, you know that? Do you know how crazy I am for you? Could eat you out everyday and wouldn’t need anything else to feel full.” His words send a shiver down your spine. “You’re my favorite meal.”
He pushes three fingers back inside with a slight force and you let out a scream, arching your back. He takes one nipple into his mouth and gives it a long suck, letting it go with a loud pop.
“Oh yes, just like that. Suck it again, baby” You beg and he does exactly that as he takes the other sensitive bud into his mouth.
You’re not sure if you have been this vocal about your needs with anyone before him. Not that you dated a lot, for a person who’s a hopeless romantic to the core you’ve always found yourself waiting for the right one. Additionally, you believed your body to be as sacred as a temple. Surely there had to be a guy somewhere who would treat it as such.
Then, enters Jungkook who not only was out of your league metaphorically but literally. He lived miles away from your place so there was not a chance you could have let anything take place between the both of you. But as they always say, the heart wants what it wants. To put it briefly, there was chemistry, a connection you didn’t want to lose.
Strong fingers pump into you. In and out, in and out. “You’re so wet. What do you say? Should I lick you clean?”
“Yes, ah oh my goodness that’s sooo good” you toss your head back, slowly grinding against his hands.
He wraps an arm around your waist, lifts you off his lap and tosses you back on the bed. Keeping his eyes still locked with yours he gets rid of his jogger, letting his cock spring free.
It bobs and you lick your lips, already wanting to take it into your mouth but you know for a fact that he wouldn’t let you do that, not because he doesn’t want you to but because he wants to give you the highest amount of pleasure first. As he always does.
Jungkook lets out a shaky sigh as gives his cock a pull, his eyes running over your whole body. Up and down then back at your face again. You’re still not fully bare in front of him while he’s standing there, all in his glory.
“Lose the pants” he commands.
You immediately slide out of them and toss them on the floor somewhere. He grabs you by the hips, jerking you to the edge of the bed as he sinks down on his knees. Spreading your legs wider he releases a breath. Warmth touches your wet pussy and you prop yourself up by the elbows to look at him.
You need to look at him if you want to stay sane, have to feel him with you here. Shivers run through you even by the thought of not being able to feel him and this ever again. This might as well be your last day on this god awful planet from the way the ache in your chest keeps on increasing. It makes a home there, not letting you entirely forget about the eventualities.
“God you’re dripping, honey”
“For you” you admit.
Hot and wet kisses are left to the inside of your thigh and your hands find the back of his head as you grip it lightly.
His head lifts up, his eyes finding yours, “Don’t hold back,____. Grip it as tightly as you want to. I don’t want any hesitations because when I fuck you, I’m not going to be holding back. You hear me?”
A desperate moan leaves you, and he rewards you by kissing your pussy. Keeping his eyes on you, he doesn’t give you a chance to whine out your needs before his tongue is licking a single line up your clit.
He moans and gently tugs on your clit. “Such a perfect cunt”
You push his head against your pussy and rock forward, chasing your orgasm.
“Feels so good, feels so perfect, baby” you murmur.
Just when you’re starting to feel the climax incoming, when Jungkook suddenly grabs you by the waist and flips you, so he’s lying down and you’re on top. Then, he grabs you by the back of your neck, pulling you for a heated kiss.
He pulls back, “Sit on my face, my queen”
Your eyes widen and you hesitate, but you don’t want to. You wanna let go, knowing you’re lucky enough to get something like this in this lifetime, so you give in. He hoists you up by the hips, positions you over his face and pulls you down. His warm breath feels like a soft whisper against your pussy.
You cry out in pleasure as soon as his tongue dives deep inside you, squeezing your tits in your hands. Grinding against his face, you close your eyes and just… feel. Feel the heat, feel the emotions, feel the intimacy, feel the ache in your chest.
A thought crosses your head and you wonder if you’re doing something wrong, something selfish. Touching him like this and getting consumed by him feels like you’re doing nothing but ruining him.
He sucks on your clit with sheer eagerness and desire, pulling you further down so you’re putting your weight on his face. Concern perks up and you look down, trying not to crush him but it seems like he couldn’t care less.
“Let go, honey. Just focus on my mouth.”
Let go. God, how bad you hate those words. They feel like acid in your ears.
“Keep going, Jungkook. Don’t you dare stop” you cry out.
Soon enough you’re aching your back, cunt pulsing against his lips as you come. He swallows every single drop as if he’d die if he doesn’t and leaves you in awe. You slump, letting your body relax.
Much to your amusement, he doesn’t give you enough time to relax before he’s turning you over until you’re on your knees. Hot passionate kisses are placed on your sweaty back, pulling a gasp from you.
“What a fucking sight. I wish you could see how stunning you look right now and it’s all because of me, isn’t it? This glistening back, this wet cunt,” he strokes a finger down your pussy, “It’s all because of me and you dare to call yourself lucky?”
You catch a sight of him stroking himself over your shoulders and your breath quickens.
His abs are glistening with sweat and his chin still has your cum on it.
He smirks, “Like what you see, honey”
“You’re beautiful”
His eyes soften, letting his hands drop from his angry and already leaking with precum cock, he grabs either side of your hips and lines himself against your needy pussy. You let your head drop on the mattress and clench your fist, preparing yourself for him. He gives your cunt a slight slap with his cock before filling you in, groaning as he goes deeper.
You moan, “Fuck baby. That’s so deep.”
“You’re so warm, honey. You feel like home” he thrusts again.
His hands grip yours, and he covers your body with his own, still thrusting inside with rough movements. His chest feels warm and safe against your back as it fills you with a deep sense of safety, protection and love.
You match every thrust of his with your own, moving your hips backwards. Your tits are getting equal attention from him as he pinches the two sensitive buds between his fingers.
You both chase your high with you screaming out his name and him whispering yours like a prayer. He gives in one last thrust before he’s coming inside you, his teeth biting on your shoulder. You’re following him soon as you grip the bed sheet tighter in your fist, moaning as you come.
Before you collapse, he pulls you upright and lets his cock slide out of you. His fingers push his cum inside your throbbing cunt, making your stomach twist in pain.
You murmur. “I love you”
His lips stretch into one of those lazy smiles you love so much. “I love you too, my precious girl. Now, do you wanna sleep or go make those cookies?” a sloppy kiss is pressed on your forehead.
Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you pull him on top of you, “Should we save those for later? I really wanna cuddle”
He presses a soft kiss on the tip of your button nose, “Sure. Let me clean you up first. You don’t have to move an inch, just relax.”
Minutes later he’s coming back with a bottle of water and a bowl of marshmallows. You bite back a chuckle when you look at his face. There’s such a deep crease between his eyebrows you’d think he’s trying to win a game of uno or something.
But it’s short lived when he places the items on the nightstand and gazes at you, his eyes having the same funny look they had earlier in the kitchen.You try to summon your most unbothered and good natured grin but it doesn’t do shit to stop the electricity from running through your blood.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” you ask, biting your lip.
An uncertain laugh slips out of him, “I don’t know. I��m- God, I really don’t know but I have this weird feeling that something is not right.” He begins cleaning you up but you can’t shake the feeling of nervousness and anxiety away.
You know for a fact that he’s right. Something is not right, in fact nothing is right.
He peeks at you from between your legs, “Hey, what is it that you wanted to talk about?”
The air whooshes out of your lungs. Should you come clean? Is it the right time?
You huff a tight laugh. “It’s nothing actually. Can we talk about it later?”
When he’s done cleaning you up he places a small kiss on both your knees and stands up. Offering you a nod, he says, “Whenever you feel like it. I’m not going anywhere”
Yet. He’s not going anywhere yet.
You grin, “I wouldn’t let you”
He lets a laugh slip out as he walks inside the bathroom. Then, he comes back, settles himself beside you and brings you closer by wrapping his arm around your waist. His feet find yours as he touches the anklet with them.
“Let’s sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up” he promises.
Morning comes quickly as the sun casts its glow on your sleepy yet excited eyes. Holding out a hand, you try searching for your boyfriend next to you, but a slight sting arises in your heart when he’s not there. You open your eyes, adjusting to the sunlight.
Although, you hoped you did not wake up, you hoped death consumed you in your sleep because the person across from you is a total stranger. A stranger whose eyes are misty and mouth is pulled down in deep frown, a sunflower bouquet in one hand and the other one holding a blue file so tightly you can see his knuckles turning white.
Jungkook holds out the file to you, “How long were you planning to hide this from me,____?”
For the first time in your life, you hate your name. You hate how bitter it sounds coming from his mouth like this.It has always been “____, you’re my everything,” “I love you,____”, “_____, you mean the world to me”.
Acid bubbles in your stomach at his words, and you can’t help but sob. You wonder if the butterfly was preparing you for this day. If she could talk, what would she have said to you?
The words that leave him next might as well be daggers in your chest, "Tell me, honey. Is it the important thing you wanted to talk about but held back just to get a good fuck out of me?"
@fluttershy-vanilla @theyysam37 love you pookies. enjoy <3
#jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook fanfic#bts#jungkook scenario#jungkook smut#jungkook scenarios#jungkook x you#bts x reader#jungkook imagine#bts scenario#bts fanfic#bts scenarios#bts smut#bts jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook drabble#jungkook series#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook oneshot#fluff
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I’ve been watching Spartacus with my dad and I must share with you the vision I had.
Gladiator 141 and the sweet little thing they got as a reward after a fight well fought.
this is very old:
Sometimes he spends as much as an hour staring at you through the bars of your cell.
You haven’t yet worked up the nerve to say something to him. Not while he still wears the silver-plated galea that obscures most of his face. You can still see thin lips through the middle slit of his helmet, where the cheek plates don’t meet and the thin strip running down the bridge of his nose gives way to his philtrum, and the barest slivers of dark eyes.
Apart from his helmet, he wears little else—sometimes the customary leather pteruge around his waist or a simple tunic belted at the waist. Nothing that would hinder his movements. It keeps the bulk of him on display. A prized fighter then, you surmise, as if the helmet weren’t enough to make that known.
He still gleams bronze from his fights under the sun. Perhaps he’s counted at least a full hand’s worth this week alone. He comes to you sometimes after those very fights, still dripping sweat and prowling the length of your cell like one of the lions kept beneath the arena. You never know what to say to him then. There’s little you can do apart from curl up into yourself in the far corner of this cell you’ve come to know as a temporary home and eye him warily.
It’s hard to reckon with the size of him. That’s what keeps you wary, watchful of him when he comes to keep you company for reasons unbeknownst to you. He hasn’t made them known yet, in any case.
There isn’t an augur to warn you the day he chooses to speak.
“Where'd they take you from, pretty bird?”
You flinch at the sound of his voice. It comes from the pure depths of him, Tartarus deep. You think it would take nine days for it to reach you, like a bronze anvil falling alongside it. In the days that he’s spent at your side, haunting the length of your cell like a sentry bound to his post, you’ve never once heard so much as a whisper.
His words take a moment to register. Across from you, he sits back on his haunches, thick thighs bunched up under the fan of his pteruge. It’s hard to tell how long he’s been there—the hallway outside your cell is relatively dark, the only windows being on the leftmost side of the building, near the door where he must have quietly slipped in.
“East of here,” you answer hesitantly.
He hums, nods his head. Ruminates on your words.
In truth, you can only guess—the village where you grew up, where you suckled at your mother’s teat and played with the other children in the glen surrounded by mountains jutting up from the earth and ochre yellow and green wildgrass, the fog sometimes sitting so low in the valley that you could lose yourself in it, is far from here. At least a month’s walk, perhaps more (you lost time along the way). Your feet are still blistered from the march back to Rome, legs still covered in sores and bruises; even now your cell is a poor comfort, the dirt floors harsh on your knees and shins, abrasive to the partially healed skin of your feet.
You’ve never been very worldly though, never known more than the four walls around your bed. Perhaps the walk wasn’t nearly as long, as treacherous; maybe you came from the west instead, or the south. You can only guess.
“I came from the north,” he says, breaking the silence again. That startles you somehow. The thought of him under the thumb of another feels inexplicably gut-wrenching; if a man with a virile, sweat-laden chest like his, arms corded with muscle that yours will never see in a thousand years, has been yoked to Rome’s chariot, what hope do you have?
You wonder for a moment if he’ll tell you more, but he falls silent after that simple revelation. The weight of his gaze still pins you in place.
“…You’re a prisoner then?” you ask, considering briefly whether to say like I, before discarding the thought. Like I, like me. Are you too in a cage, like me?
It’s difficult to suppress the urge to ask him more, but you do. It does you no good to endear yourself to men that move and stare like beasts. There’s something malignant in him, you think, a rot burrowed in deep. You can feel it stir in you too when your eyes dip too low, halted by the muscles of his thighs and the thick slabs packing his arms. You’ve seen beasts copulate; you imagine he’d be much the same.
He tilts his head, considering your words. Wolf-like, and you’ve seen wolves before. Though the ever-present helmet obstructs most of his face, the sharpness of his eyes pierces through. “They don’t put me in a cage anymore. What would you call that?”
Your chest collapses under his words. Hopes dashed. Does he go in the cage of his own accord then? Does he lock the door himself, deliver the key to the guard standing watch? You think people taken from their homes should see their plight in each other, but the gladiator before you doesn’t look at you like the two of you share a fate.
“A slave?” you postulate, perhaps too boldly. Worry crawls inside the walls of your belly when his lips flatten, almost imperceptibly.
“Do I look like a slave to you?” he asks, and you can hear it this time. A gentle warning. A rebuke. A question that tells you all that you need to know about this man and how he sees the two of you.
You remain silent, cowed under his stare and the tone of his voice. Perhaps he’s right, in a way; he’s not the one in the cage. He seems free to come and go as he pleases, his movements unrestricted. Unlike your own. You’ve hardly left this cell once since a faction of the legionaries left you at the gates of the city to be handled by those in charge, watching slave after slave made empticii, helpless, until finally you were dragged to the stand for viewing.
You flinch when he grabs one of the bars of your cell, thick fingers coiling around the metal and overlapping easily.
“What did they take you for, pretty bird?” His fingers tighten around the bar, knuckles whitening. “Every day I fight and yet they never offer you as a prize.”
The new scars on his body make sense then, fresh lacerations across his arms and legs that have multiplied by the days since he started visiting you. Why he gleams with fresh sweat every day, correlating with the fights you hear in the arena above you, the cacophonous chants and stamping feet. You can imagine him in front of a crowd frothing at the mouth for blood and gore.
He comes stained in it sometimes. You hold your breath until he leaves on those days, reminded too much of your village in the aftermath of the plundering.
“I don’t know,” you whisper, tucking your legs into your chest and trying to get as close to the wall behind you as possible.
It’s the truth. No one tells you anything. No one told you what would happen when they ransacked your village and burnt it to ash, the bodies of everyone you’ve ever loved still burning char black in the tall grass, whittled down by the flames. No one told you what would happen after they dragged you back a thousand passus to a city scorched in white marble and stone and immaculate gold. They dragged you here and shut the door.
He seems frustrated at your words, lips thinning like he has to hold back his rage.
“I’ll slaughter a hundred more if that’s your price,” he says, his helmet knocking into the bars with a rough clang and making you jump when he leans in. His chest lifts with his quickened breaths, working himself up at the thought of more bloodshed. “Then give you their hearts. No other man will take you. I’ll rend their limbs if another man tries. Make you taste their blood on my fingers and lap it up when I split you on my—”
Your heel skitters across the ground, digging a small groove into the dirt and scattering small rocks across the cell. “I don’t k-know what they intend—”
You stare at him when he rises back up to his feet, words dying on your tongue. Standing, he towers over you, shoulders rolling back to puff out his chest.
“You wait, little bird. Flutter your wings. Soon you’ll see the sun.”
You can only imagine what he means. The thought of sunlight on your face fills you with dread for the first time in your life.
He leaves without another word, heavy footsteps carrying him to the door until you hear him pry it open, sunlight streaming in for a second before it slams shut. The silence in the absence of him feels monstrous, gargantuan.
All you can do is let out a shuddering breath.
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. . . 𝐡𝐲𝐩𝐨𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
Suguru Geto
From your perspective, you're just two strangers. But you have no idea just how insane it all looks from his side. He's smitten — and a total hypocrite on your lips.
► '... you're my religion, you're how I'm living.'
+ Content: cult leader Geto, dad Geto, non-sorcerer reader
+ Requested by @betonlosingfrogs
+ Author's note: cult leader Geto Suguru may be serious but I like to think he'd just look like a goth dad in the supermarket, buying cereal for his girls
+ wc: 2k
Looking closely at the back of a bright-pink cereal box that his little ones nagged him to buy, Suguru stood slightly hunched over with his dark hair in a sloppy bun.
The stress of his newfound life as a dad showed on his deeply indented eyebags — he looked so severe, so unapproachable, like he would bite you if you stared at him. And yet, many stared. Because underneath the eerie was calm, and in his black eyes there was a hidden tranquility.
"Stay in sight, girls." Suguru warned softly to Mimiko and Nanako, who he saw through his peripherals were bounding about the aisle, "I don't want to lose you two."
Not heeding his warning at all, they went off on their own little ways, drawn to the aisle that you happened to be shopping down. And so within a few minutes, Suguru's usual composure disappeared as he burst into panic.
With quick-paced, long strides of his spider-like legs, he went looking for Mimiko and Nanako, furrowing his brows until two lines formed between them, briefly checking each aisle, pacing back his steps.
He turned abruptly into people, looking down on them in disgust, knocking a few products off shelves with his haphazard path. All the while, his heart thumped in his chest.
And you, leading two little ones by the hand to the cereal aisle, immediately had this feeling that he was their dad.
Still, you asked. "Which one's your dad?"
"That one."
They pointed at a gothic-looking, terrifyingly tall man with a severe expression on his face. He looked so unapproachable that you almost didn't want to walk up to him.
With not much courage, you sheepishly approached Suguru. He turned, his sight landing on his girls, then he darted his black eyes up at you.
"... Sorry, I told them not to wander." he apologized.
Why am I apologizing? Suguru thought to himself.
"No worries." you smiled gently at him. "This is a small store, I'm sure they would have found you by themselves eventually — but they approached me for help."
"Oh." Suguru said with a subtle tone of surprise.
Suguru looked down at his girls and saw how calmly they were holding onto you; like you were their mom. His heart throbbed and he felt inexplicably freaked out.
"Well, I'm glad." he said, surprising himself in every new moment that passed, "Thanks. Girls, let's go."
With that, he abruptly left. Judging by the curl of his lips and the feeling shrouding him, you assumed that he must have not liked talking to people.
. . . 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭, 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞,
"Why are you going out?" his girls asked as he put on his cologne.
"... I have a meeting with some very important people." he replied calmly, readying himself to leave.
The girls hurried after him with little steps, "Can we come with?"
"No, no. I want you two to stay here." he said, patting their heads, "And be good; don't eat the cereal, it's meant for breakfast, okay?"
They were clingy as he left. As he descended the gaudy turquoise stairwell of his apartment complex, he thought about you.
You. He had the memory of your face nearly crisp in his mind, the echo of your voice on repeat somewhere in his subconscious.
Trying to blur you out of his mind proved impossible until he was finally behind the closed doors of a meeting.
The meeting of which, had only one purpose; to preach words against non-sorcerers.
Suguru narrowed his eyes and spoke in a deep, reverberating voice to his followers as they all faced him, sat on their knees.
Ego swollen, he left his 'meeting' feeling refreshed, self-assured; until he got three-quarters of the way home, and coincidentally happened upon you; completely helpless and cornered by a slim, toothy curse that you had no hope of escaping without needing to rush to the hospital afterwards. It had already drawn blood from you, Suguru observed.
And the smell of your blood met his nose as he just lingered out of sight, watching you struggle.
Am I really this cruel? He thought to himself. Is it necessary? If I make one exception, doesn't that just make me a hypocrite?
Suguru thought all this, knowing that his mind was already made up.
He hummed to himself, rolled his eyes, stared up at the sky and then walked calmly over to you.
With utter silence in his mind, Suguru lazily exorcised the curse, and ignored your wide-blown, horrified eyes that were now directed at him — who was just a normal stranger to you until now.
He looked down at you for a while, then after a bout of silence, he hesitantly asked, "Are you okay?"
And those words were a bigger deal for him to say than for you to hear; you had no idea how hypocritical he was being, how merciful he was being, or how insane the context was.
You gave him an unsure nod, "I think so?"
"Can you stand by yourself?" he asked.
"... it was biting my ankle... " you sounded more and more weary, Suguru noticed every beat change in your voice, every movement of your lips as they spoke each syllable.
In your small and vulnerable state, you kept an apprehensive expression on your face as Suguru leaned down and helped you up, offering his arm; you saw the hint of a tattoo underneath his sleeve, something like a dragon's tail.
"Which ankle?"
"Huh?"
"Where did it bite you?"
His voice had hardened. You showed him where, and he looked at it, the trickle of blood and the bite marks.
I hate you so much, but I'm not that cruel. He thought, his heart thumping harder.
. . . 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞,
"The teeth marks look so cool!" Mimiko commented.
Nanako nudged her sister out of the way, eager to see, but then she frowned, "Can I help you wrap the bandages?" she asked you.
"No, let her be, girls, please." Suguru said, giving you a quick glance.
As soon as they left, he found himself apologizing once more, "Sorry, they haven't been this hyper in a while."
"They're so sweet. So you're a single dad? Where's the missus?" you asked, feeling more at ease.
"There is no missus." he replied stiffly, "It's just me."
"Oh. Now I understand why your eyes look so tired." you said.
He smiled a little, "Yeah, they're a bit of a handful, but I love them."
Confused and somewhat embarrassed, Suguru quickly ironed the smile out of his lips.
"... so there's no missus..." you continued the conversation, "Are you seeing anybody?"
Suguru looked at you, eyes widened, completely taken aback by not only your forwardness but the question itself; why did you want to know? Were you attracted to him? Why were you attracted to him?
"Uh, I'm not in the dating scene." he replied curtly. "It's beneath me."
"Aw, what a terrible attitude you've got..." you teased. "Sorry, sorry."
His heart throbbed, this time not because he was freaked out, or self-loathing, or anything such; he knew exactly what he was starting to feel, so he washed out his feelings quickly.
"Sorry, I wasn't aware that I had an attitude."
You smiled flirtatiously at him — now that really threw him off.
Slightly disoriented, he snapped-to when the girls' voices came through the door.
"... Nanako spilled cereal all over the kitchen floor!"
He sighed, held back the smallest of smiles, and straightened out his back like he was suddenly aware of how he could seem more attractive to a woman.
"Excuse me." he said, then left you to help yourself with the bandages.
. . . 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮,
And Suguru's black eyes lit up brightly when he saw you again at the same grocery store, this time alone.
He told himself that he would only say hi and leave. Yes, just a little hello — that was all that he deemed necessary.
I don't have time to waste. That's what he thought.
His time was money. And he spent it all on you, right there, in the aisle of a grocery store, indulging in fifteen minutes with you.
Fifteen minutes turned into twenty, into twenty-five, and after thirty minutes he finally snapped-to, as if out of a trance — but only because you abruptly said;
"Oh, I've got to go."
"Oh... sorry to take so much of your time." he apologized.
"Not at all, Suguru, I would give you more if I could. Ah... actually," you spoke and he listened, intently, to your tone shift into something more flirty, more sensual;
"Would you like to meet again, tonight? I know a great restaurant — "
" — Yes, absolutely." he agreed without thinking.
All his ideals and beliefs? What are you talking about? He's just a smitten boy.
. . . 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮,
How rigidly he waited for you, looking around in search of your face with an eagerness that he could no longer effortlessly conceal.
She's late. He thought, lowering his gaze.
But a few minutes after thinking this, he saw your face. In the small seconds before you saw him and approached his table, he fussed over himself; he rubbed his lips together to make sure they looked soft and red, he neatened his hair, he cleared his throat, he straightened his posture.
"Sorry I'm late, the traffic was terrible." you apologized.
Suguru's body language was alive with attraction, "It's okay, I didn't mind waiting." he said.
"I hardly believe that. You look hungry." you teased.
He felt caught, and blinked at you. Did he make it obvious? He was so sure that he controlled his emotions.
"... I'm sure you'll like the food here."
He relaxed, realizing he misunderstood.
. . . 𝐈𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝-𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐚𝐳𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐧,
I could be your cult leader. He mused to himself. And you could be my sacrificial virgin.
"What are you smiling about?"
"Sorry. I was just thinking of a joke."
"Hm, well I love jokes. Why don't you indulge me?"
"I don't know if I should; I've got a bit of a twisted sense of humor." he feathered.
Your sultry lash-fluttering had his body heating up, feeling restless, feeling on the verge of a small insanity.
This tiny, indescribable insanity that was buried so deep inside him that he could easily ignore it, but he chose not to, and just gave in.
This feeling shadowed his wake as he walked you home, listening to you flirt and giggle next to him was overwhelming him.
All you noticed was that he almost smiled, that he kept taking big sighing breaths like he was steadying himself — his mysteriousness almost annoyed you, which in turn made you feel even more interested in him.
Just as you were wondering to yourself if you got through to him, he gave you a goodbye kiss on the cheek. Too eager to wait for the unpredictable future, you decided to kiss his lips.
He let out a low hum of surprise, but quickly melted, quickly reciprocated and pressed his warm lips on yours. More than that; he leaned into you, let you stroke his cheek, enjoyed every little second.
But Suguru had to exercise extreme control over himself; if he didn't have the discipline of a martial artist, he might have kissed you harder, might have kissed you breathlessly, like a starved, insane romantic.
And maybe he liked seeing the begging look on your face. It made his ego swell, it made him think of things he could never tell you, lest you think something's wrong with him.
"Can I see you again?" he asked.
"Do you want to?" you flirted.
He refrained, cutting out a lot from his response, "Of course I want to..." he almost whispered, looking at your lips.
You smiled and it got him all twisted up inside. "Well, then ask me out on another date, silly."
He hummed, eyeing your lips exclusively now.
"... are you free next Saturday?" he asked slowly.
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬: 𝐀𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐢'𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲
#geto#geto suguru#geto x reader#suguru x reader#geto suguru x reader#geto x you#suguru x you#geto suguru x you#geto x y/n#suguru geto x reader#x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk#suguru#getou suguru x reader
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Rereading Dickens Christmas Carol for the first time in a long time. And the more I reread, the more it strikes me how seamlessly a queer reading could slip within these pages. Not an especially twee reading, wherein all Scrooge's troubles start and end with grief over Jacob Marley's death. For we know that Scrooge was a "Tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner!" And we know that he and Marley were "two kindred spirits"
And perhaps that very fact makes the similarities to queer life, unintended as they most likely were by Mr. Dickens, achingly poignant to me. Scrooge is, we're told, "secret and self-contained and solitary as an oyster." How much that resonates, for so many of us who shield our innermost selves but from a select group of friends. And we know that Scrooge and Marley were, at the very least, certainly that for one another. Scrooge is Marley's sole mourner; his sole executor and beneficiary; and even Dickens notes, "friend." How reminiscent is that of queer couples across history, estranged from their families?
Scrooge lives in a set of chambers that once belonged to Marley—clearly Dickens wanted us to believe Scrooge gave up his own dwellings after Marley's death to economize. But with only a flicker of change, those chambers become _their chambers, rented by Marley as the senior member of the couple. The place is so desolate Dickens notes "one could scarcely help fancying it must have run there when it was a young house, playing at hide-and-seek with other houses, and have forgotten the way out again." The perfect abode for two queer misers who wanted no one prying into their business.
Marley's name is still above the door of Scrooge's counting-house: a mark by which, no doubt, Dickens meant to convey Scrooge such a penny-pincher he couldn't bother to have it changed. But a thing can be both! mark of frugality to ludicrous excess and! mark of mourning. "sometimes," Dickens opines, "People new to the
business called Scrooge Scrooge, and sometimes Marley, but he answered to both names. It was all the same to him."
This is why "death of the author" matters so much, in expanding our interpretations of texts. It is vastly far from the lens Dickens would have intended. But, the idea of a ghost of queerness, so taboo in the society it could barely be glanced at sidewise in this tale that is all about the inexplicable and yet that lingers over everything becomes an astonishing lens through which to read this book. Thinking of Scrooge as a queer man, his "melancholy dinner at his usual melancholy tavern" becomes a eerie prefiguring of the hollowness of days spent by Isherwood's A Single Man. In this universe, little wonder Scrooge doubly hates mention of time with family, marriage, etc. when the precise nature of his grief is both unacknowledged and unacknowledgable.
And readings like this are vital, because the uncomfortable truth is, discrimination doesn't "discriminate between sinners and saints", to borrow a Miranda phrase. It is easy, in my liberal circles, to fight for queer people who hold "the good sorts of politics". But what about men like Michael Hess, culpable for supporting Reagan even as his contemptuous homophobia let the aids epidemic run rampant? How much harder is it to remember Michael had a partner? That he deserves empathy and compassion for being practically tarred and feathered out of the party upon his own aids diagnosis?
Expanding our imaginative universes to include queerness, not as redemptive panacea, but merely as one aspect of identity, personality, often in vicious conflict with others. Even! as we consider those stories equally worthy of being told feels vital if we're ever to truly express the complexity of what queer humanity looks like.
#forgive my less than articulate maundering#am currently listening to a truly splendid full-cast adaptation of said#Christmas Carol#and wanted to jot these things down before I forgot them in the flow of the work.#Scrooge as both! cruel bastard bitching about half a crown he'll pay Bob even though he won't be in the office on Christmas#fuming about his pockets being picked as he scathingly condemns the poor for not throwing themselves#into the oh! so! generous work-houses. And _also! deeply bereaved husband just makes him so! much more _alive and fascinating to me#if anyone knows of good Marley/Scrooge longfic where not an inch! of their dastardliness is sanded off I'd _kill for it#Jacob Marley#Ebenezer Scrooge#Ebenezer Scrooge/Jacob Marley#queer stuff#history#book babbling#lit geekery
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so i don’t really know how the hex-strap would work but im thinking about reader stealing one from piltover and then asking vi to try it out on her
CONTENT: Hex-strap use (R! receiving), idk what else to say for this one Vi just gives you good dick with the hex-strap
"How the fuck is that supposed to fit inside of you?" Vi sounds genuinely worried. To be fair, the blue-tinted silicone is on the larger side of toys, and it's more girthy than anything else you've taken.
"Lube and prayers," You shrug and fail to hold back laughter watching Vi clumsily tie the harness around her hips, her eyes gazing down to gawk at the the sight she has tied to her torso.
You don't know how you even found such an item, but it wasn't intentional. You only went to Piltover to steal some pearls from the snooty rich people, not scavenge around for a dildo. Still, when you first laid eyes upon the thing, you had to take it.
You and Vi are already pretty experimental in the bedroom, from vibrating bullets to handcuffs and a variety of kinks (some were no-goes, others are now a regular part of your bedroom activities), but nothing could've prepared either of you for this. Still, naturally, your first instinct was to imagine getting fucked with it. Of course, you had to bring it to Vi and try it out.
The dildo itself was not hex-tech powered, but only blue to compliment the gemstones decorating the harness. You don't know if the tiny gems will even actually affect the experience or if it's just for show like what half of the luxury items in Piltover are for. Still, it looks pretty cool.
You plop down onto the bed, sliding a pillow underneath yourself to prepare for the stretch. Vi's busy rubbing lube over the silicone and you notice how it seems to glow a bright blue hue at the warmth of her hand. You can't tell if that's a good or bad sign. Eventually, Vi is between your legs and tapping your clit with the tip of the dick, making you shudder just feeling how wide it is.
"Are you sure you don't want to just take my fingers first-"
"Seriously, Vi.. I'll be fine. I'll tell you if it hurts."
And with that, she sighs and slides the head into your slippery hole, and you already know you're a goner.
The fit is tight. Vi groans as you squirm and gasp, obviously affected by the size. You look like a fucking goddess with curved lips and warm cheeks, hair all messy on the pillow as she tries to slowly ease the cock into your tight pussy. The resistance is great.
"Gotta relax, babe." You whine at the way she sounds, so comforting and yet so firm. You're being more needy than usual. You don't know what it is, but it can't just be the size. Your walls feel completely stretched, and it should hurt more, but all you feel is a weird inexplicable pleasure blossoming in your body. You don't even protest anymore as she bottoms out.
Vi observes your face for pain, but she can't exactly tell what you're feeling. Your pussy is definitely clamping down onto the cock, cause she can hardly pull out to slam back into you. She should be worried with the way your face shifts into something unrecognizable, but she just can't. It's addictive, and you're grateful when she begins to fuck into you.
And then the gems start to glow. The stones embedded into the harness light up as the silicone itself flares a deep, bright blue. It's not just your g-spot being kissed, but your entire pussy is heating up each time she slams back into you, making you nearly lose all train of thought, practically screaming with each thrust she deals your pussy.
Vi can't help but marvel at the sight; it's unlike anything she has ever seen before, your face all twisted up with almost unbearable pleasure, glowing emitting between your bodies, it makes her dizzy as if she's the one feeling it. She's pounding into you now as you intensely grip the sheets, a foreign yet familiar closeness beginning to overtake you. Your orgasm is close, but it's stronger than anything you've ever been given before.
One particular thrust sends you barreling toward your climax, your bark arching so hard it almost hurts. Vi doesn't stop, continuing to fuck steady thrusts into your pussy to watch the glowing blue plastic disappear past your folds. She wishes to see it from the inside. She's never seen you like this before, tears streaming down your face and sweet, pleasure-filled whines spilling past your lips. Your whole body is quivering, jolting with each wave until you finally come down.
"Holy shit.. you are you okay?" Vi asks you when your eyes finally meet hers.
You let out a labored gasp. "That was.. the best orgasm I've ever had. It felt like I was almost dying for a second there."
Vi's eyes widen at that. She doesn't know if she should be happy for you or concerned. "In a good way?"
"I'm not sure yet.. but it was intense. You should let me try it on you now."
Vi laughs at that. "You know what, sure."
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I think one of the many things wrong with Jinx this season is how like, half of her personality was cut off and thrown out.
Like her reaction to grief. We see her suicidal after Silco’s death and she’ll be again very suicidal after Isha’s death. Makes sense. Don’t have notes on that part. However I have so much notes on her rage. In s1 we see Powder sometimes responding to bad situation by being shy and sad, but sometimes she reacts in a more adversarial way, like complaining they should try fighting Piltover or trying to stand up to Mylo. But we also get these moments like when she’s left behind and has an absolute meltdown and starts wrecking shit but more importantly her reaction to Silco. He says they’ll show them all and she throws the audience the most rage fueled look you’ve ever seen. When really pushed beyond her limits this is Powder’s emotional reaction to tragedy/being wronged. We see that all throughout acts II and III and we see it when she blows up the council after Silco dies. And that’s the problem cos that’s the part that’s missing from s2. They cut her personality in half and only kept one half. Anger as part of her personality and reaction to grief was discarded when writing her in s2. Even tho she goes through a lot of grieving in s2.
Another example is Isha. Jinx prioritizing family and just chilling? Wanting affectionate interactions with family? Having an easier relationship with a younger family member cos there aren’t any expectations or need to prove anything or gain anyone’s attention? No fear of abandonment/betrayal? She just has this kid who hero worships her and follows her around like a puppy so no stress? No notes. However I have a lot of notes about Jinx’s paranoia and how not normal and possessive and toxic she is about relationships. And I have notes on the generational trauma. Where did all that go? That’s not how ppl work. Living in a messed up society and Silco’s parenting won’t just evaporate like that cos Isha is just so overwhelmingly cute. It’s more likely that Jinx would corrupt the kid. (which you could argue on paper she does cos the kid in the end thought that suicide was dope but why did the narrative frame it as this beautiful thing lol)
And on the topic of fighting Piltover where did “we beat the enforcers with just the four of us imagine what the whole Lanes could do” go? Jinx definitely prioritized family more but she wasn’t neutral or indifferent on the Piltover matter. The enforcers wrong her/hurt her/threaten her family yet again, they kidnapped Isha, and she just acts panicked and sad, but also jokes and quips while on the mission. Where’s the rage and hatred and desire for revenge on the ppl who wronged her? Sometimes it’s just ppl around her being mean or lying or smth, anyone could be her enemy, like Sevika, Silco or Vi, but a lot of the time it’s Piltover, they killed her parents, they were her fathers’ enemies and drove them to hate each other, they chased them as kids and tried to arrest them, they kidnapped and abused Vi in prison all her adolescence, they would have killed Vi so she blew up the whole blockade, Council tried to turn Silco against her and now he’s dead so she bombs them, all her life she can see that the quality of their life is bad bcos of Piltover, she’s in Jayce’s apartment and immediately goes for the sandwich. Jinx doesn’t come off as a very politically/ideologically motivated character but what happened to all her personal beef with Piltover?
They also inexplicably just ceased to write her fucking up all the time. what about her y’know, being a jinx? In s1 even in acts II and III when she is proficient in fighting and bomb-making they still constantly show her being more of a burden and fucking up in other ways. While never explained (which was good) to me it came off as a symptom of trauma and being neurodivergent, like how ADHD kids can’t escape the allegations that they’re lazy, but on a meta level it did make it feel like she was supernaturally cursed. Part of what felt so profound and empowering about s1 finale and her embracing being jinx it that it was her embracing that she’s different (and ‘wrong’ in some ways) and can never live a happy life in the society she lives in and so she lashes out. Now she just chills and nothing ever doesn’t go her way (ig until Isha died but that wasn’t even directly her fault, Isha just acted on her own choice and agency). Suddenly her mental issues don’t exist or get in the way of her socializing and being a part of society. This bigoted, violent and unfair society.
Don’t even get me started on her mannerisms. Remember how she would bite her lip? I’m not sure if she does that even once in s2. “Sister, thought I missed her”??? let Jinx rhyme sometimes and in general say weird shit, not one-liners.
So the only way for the writers to have Jinx do nothing, heal up completely and just chill with a kid in her lair (and really everything else she does (or doesn’t do) this season) is to get rid of half of her personality, the traits that would dictate she take action and feel wrath and lash out/hurt her loved ones in the process.
All of her tragic traits from s1 that made her Jinx were just erased, not changed throughout the course of an arc, absent from the get go, so that they can have her say that Jinx is dead and have it make sense in the context of s2 cos from her very first appearance is s2 this Jinx was devoid of pretty much all of her jinx-y character traits from s1.
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— young lust
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▸ 18+ mdni.
You want Mark so badly, but he thinks you’re too young for him. With a little more convincing though, he eventually gives you what you want— in a less than gentle way.
| pairing. rapper!mark x fem!reader
| warnings. mean mean mean mark!!, legal age gap, noncon/dubcon, degradation, reader is mean to mark as well oops, unprotected sex, choking.
| a.n.: this is just self-serving atp. hope it serves y'all too <3
Mark thinks he’s never been eye-fucked this hard before. He’s flattered, of course, but something’s off.
You’re hot and very tempting, too, there’s no need in denying that. The little dress you’re wearing clings to your ass and he honestly can’t stop looking at it, especially with your back turned to him, occasionally glancing over your shoulder to meet Mark’s eyes.
Your gaze is so obviously flirtatious, you don’t even try to be subtle. The finger stuck between your teeth and the look you send him tell Mark everything he needs to know; you want him as much as he wants you.
He imagines your smaller body pressed against the bathroom wall, his hips clashing against your ass roughly, listening to your moans muffled by the loud music playing throughout the club. He sees it, that slutty mouth chanting his name like a prayer as he gropes your breasts with his palms through your dress.
Mark looks at you before taking a sip from his alcoholic drink, then shifts his gaze back to Jisung standing in front of him.
“You know each other?”
He’s taken off guard by the question, taking a second to respond.
“Uh, no,” he thinks about what to say, but he really doesn’t have a clue on how to explain this… exchange. “We… we don’t.”
Jisung sports a perplexed yet amused expression on his face. “So where is all that tension coming from?”
Mark raises a brow, eyeing you one last time, but you’re not looking at him anymore.
“I’m not sure,” he admits, a faint smirk drawing on his lips. “Do you know her?” Mark asks in return, a little curious.
He won’t lie that he likes the mystery of all this, not knowing who you are adds to the desire, to the inexplicable lust that draws him to you. He wants to mess around, do what he wishes just because he can. And that includes you. He wants to do you so bad.
“Yeah, of course, we’re in the same company,” Jisung tells him, “she’s in this new girl group, you know. Up in the charts, just right under you,” his friend grins, looking at Mark to see his reaction.
He’s surprised for a second, uttering a “really?” and Jisung nods his head as a yes.
Mark never pays attention to the charts, even though he gets reminded of them practically everyday. He’s aware of his success—way too aware of it—but he’s not the artist obsessed with numbers. He knows he makes good music and it’s all that matters to him.
“I don’t know how you still haven’t heard of them already,” Jisung continues, “of her, especially.” He tilts his head in your direction, now both men’s attention on you. “Everyone’s fond of her.”
“Are you?” Mark wonders, narrowing his eyes at his friend.
“Sure,” Jisung agrees, “she’s a sweetheart. Seems down to earth, for the few times we’ve talked.”
This intrigues Mark. Does a sweetheart usually act so slutty with strangers? Perhaps he’s not a stranger to you, you very probably know him—everybody does—but he doesn’t think he’s ever gotten a girl this bold with him. And surely not someone who’s proclaimed to be a sweetheart, in this industry where anything opposite to pureness is unacceptable.
He can feel your gaze on him now and he doesn’t hesitate to lock eyes with you once again. You laugh at whatever the person you’re talking to said, almost having Mark envious for not being the one making you laugh right now.
You’re good at this, he thinks. Really good. Staring straight into his eyes, making him feel like he’s the centre of your attention when in reality you’re talking with someone else. If he could, he would take you with him, bring you to his car and fuck you directly onto his shiny leather seats, door wide open. He knows you’d love it.
“Is she your age?” he says, taking a sip of his drink, eyes still on you until he hears Jisung’s answer.
“Uh, no, not exactly,” his friend responds, “younger, in fact.”
He immediately breaks eye-contact with you, looking back at Jisung. Mark feels his heart starting to beat a little faster, suddenly anxious. Or is it embarrassment? Concern? Whatever it is, the desire he once felt, has now shifted.
“What? How old?”
“Well, I’m not sure, Mark. 21, maybe?” Jisung frowns, trying to recall what you’d told him, but it wasn't information he really registered back then.
Mark gulps down. He knew something was off, why didn’t he listen to his intuition?
He’s 25 and you’re 4 years younger than him. You’re barely an adult.
“Don’t tell me you’ve gone soft now,” Jisung chuckles, noticing the deflated expression on his face.
“Barely.”
He empties his glass, settling it down on the counter near him after. He tells Jisung he’ll come back in 5, heading for the bathrooms.
—-
Mark washes his hands in the sink, drying them off with a towel. He looks at himself in the mirror, leaning over the counter. The music is loud, making the ground vibrate under his feet, making it almost impossible for him to think. Maybe it’s a good thing, he can’t overthink, then.
“You’ve abandoned me,” he hears a voice saying, lifting up his head just in time to see you entering the bathrooms. “I was wondering where you’ve been gone…”
Your voice is as sultry as your eyes, as sensual as your body in this ridiculously tight dress. He can’t help but wander his eyes over your figure, looking at what now feels so immoral. If it wasn’t for that—morality—he wouldn’t stop himself from taking you right here and there, but something has to stop him.
If nothing ever does, god knows all the things he would’ve done since now.
You approach Mark with slow steps, a teasing smile on your lips, a very precise idea in mind. He wants to back away, leave, forget about everything, but he doesn’t. He’s curious, tempted.
“Or maybe that’s where you wanted me to be?” you grin, putting your hand around his bicep, the other leaning on top of the counter.
He stares back at you, unconvinced. “I was about to leave,” he explains, and he sees the glint in your eyes changing. You don’t like rejection.
“Really?” you utter, the tone of your voice a pitch higher— sounding somewhat bitter. “I swore there was something between us… With the way you were looking at me,” you say, your hand lingering on his arm before removing it. “Do you often look at women like you want to fuck them and then leave them, Mark?”
This confirms that you know him. For some reason, he feels uneasy about the fact that he knows nothing about you but you know all about him.
You get even closer, only a few centimetres before your body touches him.
Truthfully, you were the only ever girl he was about to do this to. It didn’t feel like a big deal when he thought about it, but now that he’s been caught, he feels a little guilty.
“I didn’t take you for a coward,” you whisper.
Mark arches his brow at that, wondering how in the hell did he get in such a situation. Getting called a coward by a brat? By a spoiled little girl who didn’t have to lift a finger for success to find her?
“You should go back to your friends,” he carefully advises.
But you find it funny, laughing softly. “So you are a coward, Mark Lee,” you mockingly say, tone condescending, tongue pressing behind your bottom teeth as his name leaves your mouth. “Are you afraid of something? Don’t worry, I don’t bite. Unless you’re into it?”
He keeps his hands away from you, as if the mere feeling of your skin under his fingertips would break down his barriers. He turns his head to the side, away from yours, as you roughly pull on his belt, your chest finally pressed down against his.
“I know you want me,” you whine, “to touch me… Fuck me.”
If he could only fall into temptation… Maybe it’d be easier to just follow his desires. Well, in the meantime it would be, but after? What if he regrets it? What if you regret it? He can’t sleep with every girl he sees.
He never goes for anyone that is younger than him. Not that much, at least. What kind of man would he be?
But goddamn, why are you so insistent? Why are you making it so difficult for him?
“You’re too young, okay?”
You take a step back, letting go of him. Your eyebrows are frowned and you look at Mark like he’s the biggest idiot on earth.
You scoff. “So that’s what you’re afraid of? My age?”
You cross your arms over your chest, Mark turning his head toward you now that you’ve put some distance between you.
“What did Jisung tell you?”
“That you’re 21,” he answers, wondering what you’re going to tell him. After all, what Jisung said could have been bullshit. He hopes, for a moment, that it was.
Your lips quirk up, a chuckle leaving you. You look to the side then back to Mark. “I’m 20.”
His eyebrows knit together, annoyed that you find this funny again. What else can he expect from a 20 year old anyway? That you take this seriously?
“You find this funny? Do you realize how much older I am?”
“Yeah,” you nod, “and that’s why it’s funny. You’re scared of what? A five year difference?”
You step forward again, but Mark backs away this time, hitting the counter behind him.
“You’re a fucking puss,” you insult him, full of arrogance.
But something you didn’t expect happens; Mark knocks his body into yours, making you stumble back as he follows you until your back is flushed against the bathroom stall. His hand goes fast to your neck, squeezing.
He leans in, the expression on his face furious. He doesn’t feel guilty anymore.
“You act like a spoiled little bitch and you wonder why I don’t want you?” For the first time tonight, you’re speechless. His nose brushes over your temple, so close you feel his breath fanning across your face. “Fucking learn how to accept when people tell you no. Learn to shut your mouth from time to time because they won’t like your ass in this industry if you keep this entitled attitude up.”
You’re looking down as Mark’s eyes bore into your skull, blood creeping up to your cheeks. You gulp, not having a word to say in return. You’d rather not talk back.
He eventually lets go of you, turning around and walking out, leaving you alone and… turned on.
—-
“Hi, Markie.”
The last person he expected to see when entering his studio is certainly you. The only person supposed to be here is Jisung, and yet, here you are, smiling, eyes glinting teasingly.
He looks at you, then at Jisung, sitting in front of his computer. He turns around on the rolling chair, totally unfazed by the fact that he brought a stranger into Mark’s studio.
“What is this?”
“This?” you question, but he ignores you, walking straight to his friend.
“Uh, well, you’ve already met I believe, no?” Jisung asks, slightly confused. He says your name and it’s all it takes to irritate Mark. “She wanted to come see us work, learn a thing or two. I thought it was a great idea.”
Jisung’s innocence is a good thing sometimes, really. It’s refreshing, quite funny, too, but right now, Mark wishes he wasn’t so credulous all the damn time.
“It didn’t come to you to, maybe, ask for my permission?” he whispers, leaning in so you don’t properly hear him.
Jisung’s brows raise up, simply shrugging. “Not really,” he admits, “I thought it wouldn’t bother you. I told you, she’s a sweetheart, and she promised to not interrupt too much. Right?” Jisung turns to you and your smile gets bigger, bobbing your head.
“Absolutely.”
Mark looks hard at you, not believing this one second. Has god sent you on this earth to test him?
You stare back at him sweetly, and he swears, if it wasn’t for Jisung’s presence, Mark would have made you regret it. Bitterly.
Surprisingly, you did keep your promise. You didn’t disturb them once, even pretending to care about what they were working on. You seemed close to Jisung, actually being kind to him, the total opposite of how you were behaving the other night. You’re good at playing pretend, Mark realizes.
Your eyes were on him the entire time, though. You had the same look as he recalled, eye-fucking him right here in his studio. He was pissed off, to say the least, but he didn’t make a comment. That would’ve been weird to say anything in front of Jisung and the last thing he wants is him thinking there’s something happening between you two— because there’s nothing.
He just hoped the end of the day would come rapidly, and it did, to Mark’s relief.
With Jisung and you gone, he can finally work peacefully, nobody undressing him with their eyes.
That is until he comes back into his studio.
“What the fuck are you still doing here?”
He’s lost all of his patience to be respectful to you now. He really doesn’t give a shit. How can someone be so stubborn?
“Told Ji’ I was going to call a taxi,” you explain, getting up from the sofa you’ve been sitting on. “I lied,” you smirk.
Mark blinks at you, too shocked to say anything. You use the opportunity to get closer, bringing him to you, and then pushing him onto the sofa behind him.
“Call me ‘too young’ all you want, I recognize a pervert when I see one.”
You don’t think twice before straddling his lap, sitting down on his thighs. Your hands come to rest on his shoulders, and even though Mark sends you the most murderous glare in the world, he does nothing to push you away.
Curiosity, temptation.
“If you didn’t know my age, you would have fucked me right against the bathroom stall if I had asked you to,” you affirm confidently, and there’s truth behind your words. Of course there is, Mark knows what he thought of you at first— what position he imagined you in, the sounds you’d make.
“Get off of me,” Mark barks back, his frowned eyebrows giving him this angry look that you like so much.
You roll your eyes, sighing. “Here I thought I was the whiny little one, but you’re whinier than I am, Markie.”
“I’m not fucking whining, I’m giving you an order.”
“Get me off then,” you propose, grabbing both of his wrists and putting his hands on your hips. “Go on, do it. Or are you too scared to touch me?” You provoke him further, knowing you’ll eventually make him break down, sooner or later.
“You don’t want me to, believe me.”
His threat has you shivering… and excited.
“Why’s that?” you wonder, subtly moving your hips over his lap. “You’re sure you’re not the little bitch, hm, Markie?”
You should have expected him to snap sooner, because the moment you say this, he pins you down on the couch, you underneath him. His hold on your wrists is nothing gentle and you can’t even move them. If before you felt like the master of your own game, well now you’ve lost all sense of power, being Mark’s puppet and not the opposite.
You’re shocked. Scared.
His hand closes immediately around your face, squishing your cheeks between his fingers. “Be disrespectful to me once again and I’ll break your fucking jaw,” he spits at you. “Has anybody ever told you to respect your elders, huh? I bet fucking not,” he snorts, “I’ll teach you some manners myself.”
You don’t understand until he reaches under your skirt, pulling down on your panties. Your eyes widen, letting out whines of protest.
“Stop, stop!” you stress out, trying to grab Mark’s hands now that yours are free.
But he merely laughs, probably the first time you’ve ever heard him. “Ah, now you want me to stop? After all the begging you did so I’d fuck you.”
Mark doesn’t stop, working on his belt, undoing his pants.
Your heart accelerates, and despite the worried look on your face, your eyes starting to water, the turn of events please you all too much.
You briefly fight with him, pushing on his chest like a little girl, whimpering pathetically. Mark stays unfazed, easily taking both of your wrists in one hand and pinning it down above your head. He grunts as he pushes his hard cock into you, a gasp escaping your lips as you feel your walls expanding.
You blink multiple times, taking a deep breath, and the tears roll down the side of your face, disappearing into your hair. It burns, but you’re so wet.
You ask yourself if Mark knows you’re faking it, but with how delighted he seems to be forcing himself on you, you doubt that he does. Whatever pleases him.
“It hurts!” You cry out, wiggling your legs, attempting to close them—to no avail—while he pushes himself all the way inside of your pussy.
Mark snickers. He couldn’t care less.
“Oh, it hurts?” You nod, gulping down. “Tell me why it hurts.”
He doesn’t wait to move his hips back and forth, using you for his own sick pleasure right away without any second thought. You wanted this. You asked for this. Why should he be careful of you now? You shouldn’t have been so eager. Shouldn’t have acted like such a slut.
“It-” you begin, but a moan of pain cuts you off, Mark’s hips slapping violently against yours; it has your body moving up, your head hitting the armrest of the couch. “You’re- You’re too…”
“Am I going too rough on your virgin little cunt? Poor girl,” he coos, almost laughing in your face. “Too bad I don’t give a shit, huh?”
You sob out when he keeps on with the assault of his hips, his cock defiling your pussy like you’ve never imagined before. Mark knocks the air out of your lungs, panting heavily above you, his already short nails digging into the fat of your thigh.
You squirm around, pulling on your wrists, none of your attempts are successful— not like you want them to be anyway, but giving Mark a little of a fight is more fun.
“Please, Mark, I’m sorry,” you beg, lips trembling.
His eyes, filled with lust and hate at the same time, lay on you.
“You should’ve thought about it before pushing me over the edge, if it’s pity you wanted.”
#— ☆ starring dream#— ☆ starring 127#w/ mark !#tw noncon#nct smut#nct x reader#nct hard hours#nct dream smut#nct dream x reader#nct dream imagines#nct 127 x reader#nct 127 smut#nct 127 imagines#mark lee x reader#mark x reader#mark lee smut#mark smut
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"𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐑?"
❀ genre: fluff
❀ pairing: sylus x reader
❀ contains: mutual pining, sylus down bad, yucky vulnerable feelings (jk i love him so much for this reason), reader in denial (sorry guys), poorly proofread
❀ word count: 1.03k
❀ authors note: i'm taking a crack at this. but omg that scene where he tells mc there is no love purer than his after he asks if she finally realizes how he feels about her? COME ON. HOW CAN I NOT LOVE HIM?? had to write something inspired by that dialogue because it was so????? i'm definitely going to reference to some other stuff he has said in the game that made my heart flutter because?????
"there is no love purer than mine."
is a statement that has been replaying in your mind over and over again since that day.
you couldn't help but wonder if sylus lacks self awareness because how can you actually pinpoint his feelings when every conversation the two of you engage in seems like a ploy for his own entertainment.
every pointless banter. every teasing remark. every sickeningly corny nickname that unfortunately sounds like honey whenever it left his lips. maybe you ignored his childish attempts at flirting because you were too busy ignoring the ticklish feeling it gave you in your heart down to your toes.
sylus may make your eye twitch or send a small twinge in your brain with every smartass comment he feels he has to belch out: but maybe that's part of his charm. he mainly gets away with it with a face like that.
but your developing feelings for sylus was far more emotional than it was physical.
maybe it was the way he was always ready to lock in when it really came down to it.
the two of you being around each other always ended up with you or him being hurt. sometimes both. and if not either of you, chaos ensued. maybe a building was blown up instead. it was fun but it was times like those when you learned about sylus in a slightly more intimate way. it took a few deep gashes and heavy panting, near death experiences and stitches. but he needed your help. you liked that he could at least admit that. he saw you reliable enough to call on you when he was most vulnerable. and he helped you in the same way, despite protest.
he likes to hold hands. but it's not just his fingers intertwined but more like your hearts tangle more than your fingers. it was nice...he may mean it to be authoritative but there is always an underlying sense of comfort in his fingertips.
maybe he was a vampire. as you had previously joked. silver hair. red eyes. that inexplicably gorgeous face. pale skin that would automatically show any trace of lip gloss or lipstick that he would have obtained by getting a bit too close while attempting to tease you. that allure that often times makes your head go numb before you're brought back to reality by another witty comment.
you were more than enthralled by him; you realised as you laid in bed a few nights ago.
now he just makes you nervous. why would he say that?
there is no love purer than his?
and it's all for you?
it all feels like too much.
he calls and you stare at the caller ID before choosing to nervously accept the call. not before you start a petty argument.
but even among his arrogance, and the chirp in his voice when he engages with you, he's still sickening sweet. slipping in how strongly he feels about you in between every other colourful retort of yours or so. gosh. could he not?
after you pathetically stutter through a smartass comment of yours, his amused chuckle has you fighting the urge to chuck your phone. so you just hang up instead. maybe you just need to go outside. that should calm you down.
the warm yet slightly humid summer night air hugs itself against your slightly trembling form, a small fire lit in your heart as you walk down the empty sidewalk in pyjamas.
no one is around. all the stores are closed. it's just you and the street lights as you murmur about all the things you don't like about him in an attempt to kill the light in your heart, this light giving you an odd sense of pleasure. to no avail, your rambling on seems to make the light grow. and a small buzz on your leg.
in your pocket.
he's calling again.
you stare at it this time. its like you think the loving feelings pouring from your pores will tap the accept button for you. this doesn't last long before you shake your head and put the phone back in your pocket. you continue walking, eyes kept on the sidewalk as you weigh the pro's and con's of accepting such feelings.
*thud* you've hit your head on something.
the familiar scent in your nostril already tells you what- more like who it is.
it's obvious he used his evol to just appear in front of you. or else you would have seen his shadow underneath the streetlight you're under before your forehead met his chest.
the mere thought of it being him before even seeing his face is enough to get your stomach to flip, so you flip yourself in the other direction. then he wraps his hand around your wrist but he never seems to forget to add the electrifying part.
your free hand twitches as he intertwined his beautiful fingers with yours, the linking of both your pointer fingers keeping you together.
the silence among the song of cicadas makes you bite your tongue, anticipating a smart, playful retort. and yet amidst your baited breath nothing.
your heart beats in your ears as his warmth lingers on your fingertips. the two linked fingers generating the most heat.
"gosh, would you stop tormenting me already?" you whisper.
"is that what you think this is?" his voice echoing in the street.
you're both silent for a moment. yet neither of you make a motion to separate the linked fingers.
"your love...in it's purest form..."
another silence.
"it belongs to you." he finishes
you turn to him, still staring at the pavement.
"my love....." you began.
he seems to be holding his breath as you fidget in front of him. you attempt to make your slippers overlap or something to that effect as your palms get sweaty.
"is just as pure as yours." you breathe out in something like a scoff.
even now you're trying to challenge him
"and i want you to have it."
when you utter that last bit, you look him straight in the eyes.
he exhales and accepts it with no hesitation.
in his arms, where both your hearts tangle.
© syllikins 2024
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✩ CW: SUGARDADDY!NANAMI, fem!reader, fluff, MDNI unprotected soft sēx, lowkey breeding kink. basically he pays you to spend time with him. overall felt soft writing this.
Nanami watches you tilt your head up, your smile full of childlike wonder as you observe the snowfall. The snowflakes that are as white as your coat.
"You wanted to see me because of the snow?" You ask, your eyes meeting his.
A rare smile graces his lips, and the sight makes his heart feel inexplicably lighter. "Mhmm," he replies, his voice deep yet somewhat soft. "You like the snow, don't you?" He brings the wine glass to his lips and takes a small sip, his gaze flickering over you, from head to toe. The way the snowflakes dance in your hair, your bright eyes, the way you were smiling as if enjoying this time with him… All of it adding to your beauty.
He looks unbothered by the chill in the air, and the snow that gently falls on his shoulders melts on contact. He sets down his glass, his eyes still fixed on you.
His gaze drops to the cup in your hands, his eyes lingering on the steam rising from the hot liquid. "Hot cocoa?"
Wine and hot cocoa, what a match.
“Better than wine in this weather, don't you think?”
Nanami's lips curve into a half-smile at your response, finding your practicality endearing, "I suppose you're right," he nods slightly, the sound of the falling snow blending with the soft hum of the city. "Sometimes it's not about alcohol—it's about what feels nice." He watches you with a slightly fond look, continuing to enjoy the way the snow dances around you like tiny, frozen stars.
The quiet settles between you two like the snow falling around you. He’s not one to fill silences—he’s much more comfortable listening. But still, he can’t ignore the nagging feeling that this time should be different.
“Kento,” the call of his name immediately grabs his attention, “why.. do you always have to buy something expensive for me whenever we meet? I'm perfectly content with you paying me in exchange of my time.” your question is something he didn't expect you to bring up, but he can understand anyway, you're always grateful for the little things, even when you always deny his gifts because they're too ‘expensive’.
His fingers tighten around the stem of his wine glass, and you notice. He’s silent for a beat before he responds in a murmur, "Because I want to."
He doesn’t elaborate right away, his eyes flickering over you, and away, as if he’s considering his words. He seems lost in thought, though he’s struggling to articulate something.
Your fingers glide along the cup holder of your hot cocoa, relishing in the warm in provides for your palms, “you should find a wife for yourself,” you tell him, honestly. “It's better than wasting your money on this…”
But Nanami nearly scoffs at your suggestion. As if it's that simple.
"And who'd want to marry a sorcerer?" He retorts dryly. "One day, you will wake up in the middle of the night to find me gone. Off hunting a cursed spirit, or fighting. Maybe not coming back." His jaw tightens "It’s not that simple." He continues, taking a larger sip of his drink to buy himself some time.
"I..."
He doesn't finish his thought, his tongue suddenly feeling like lead in his mouth.
And you understand, so you don't press on further.
"Maybe I'm just not the type." He finally speaks before he looks away from you, staring at how the snow has taken over the city.
You want to almost apologize for killing the mood but another question pops in your head that you just can't resist but ask.
“Kento,” your sweet voice that calls his name, again.
“Why did you decide—I mean, why are you doing this with me?”
The arrangement between you.
The answer was simple, "You’re the only good thing in my life... right now.”
You chuckle, "I find that hard to believe. Are there not any good people where you work at?”
"Most of them are idiots or brats. Or both."
“Mm,” you take another sip of your hot drink that started to cool down, “does anyone know…”
“No.” Quick to answer, again. “Embarrassed?” You ask jokingly.
And Nanami's brow furrows at the question, "Embarrassed?” he repeats, "More like protective." he mutters under his breath.
His lips purse in thought, before he continues, "I don’t like sharing.”
“… protective?”
“Of course I’m protective," he mutters, his voice low. "What we have..." He trails off, his words suddenly failing to find the right way to describe this thing between you two. Instead, he lets out a frustrated sigh. "You’re special. I don’t like the idea of sharing that.”
You feel like you should close this topic for now, and you push your sleeve up to take the time from your wrist watch.
He doesn't have to ask, it cue to leave. And Nanami always walks you home whenever you meet somewhere close to your place.
You both walk along the snow trail on the side walk, leaving your footprints behind, Nanami follows beside you, his hands also shoved in the pockets of his coat as well as yours.
His gaze flicks from the children playing in the snow, the old friends chattering and laughing as they catch up on life, to the couples walking by hand-in-hand.
“You like kids?” Nanami blinks at your question, his focus shifting back to you. For a moment, he almost looks embarrassed to be caught staring too long at a few children singing and laughing as they drown in the snow.
“Yeah,” he replies gruffly, his eyes flickering to the group of kids before looking back at you. He’s silent for a few moments before speaking again. “I like kids...” he says slowly, as if he’s testing the words on his tongue. “Not a lot, but I like them.”
You giggle, the sound warm and light, and his expression softens. He can’t help but be taken in by your carefree attitude. It's a side of you that makes him even more drawn.
He keeps walking as he glances at you, watching as you rub your chin against the scarf wrapped around your neck. He almost wants to reach out and touch you, but he doesn’t.
Instead, he clears his throat before asking, "are you warm enough?”
You stop walking, “wanna hold my hand?”
“… do you want me to?” he asks slowly.
………..
It doesn't take long until your hand is interlock tightly with yours, his hand enveloping your own in his pocket.
He really doesn't want to let go.
The journey passes in relative silence, the only sound is the crunching of snow under your feet. Nanami doesn’t say anything, his mind seemingly preoccupied.
Finally, he speaks, “Are you really gonna go home, once we get there?”
You raise your eyebrows, “what does that mean, Ken?”
He gives your hand a squeeze like he doesn’t want to acknowledge this moment is going to end.
“You know exactly what I mean,” he says in a low tone, “Are you just going into your apartment and go to sleep, like usual? Or are you... gonna let me invite myself in?”
It always leads back to this after the cute meet ups.
Nanami's hands are all over you as soon as you’re inside. He backs you up against the wall without a word, his body pinning you against it as his lips find yours.
His kisses are slow but hungry, his tongue slipping into your mouth as his hands roam around your curves while slowly letting your coat drop on to the ground, and you huff out.
“You're getting my white coat dirty—”
"I'll buy you a new one,” he instantly responds his breath hot against your skin. “But right now, all I care about is you, and getting you out of these clothes.”
He groans as your fingers run through his hair, his body pressing against you further, desperate to close the tiny distance that’s between you.
“Stressed?” You pant softly, and his only response is a low growl, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip as he kisses you again, his tongue slipping into your mouth and making your head spin.
“You know I am,” he mutters gruffly in-between kisses.
It doesn't take long until your beneath him on your bed, taking his time worshipping your body—this time he notices how your arms cover your face just when his hands were sliding up and down your sides down to your stomach.
“I know what you're thinking,” he whispers, and the gentle tug at your arm makes you want to peek at him, “don't. Let me see you.” He gives your forehead a peck and you frown, he's being too loving.
“You don't have to take your time doing this, i can take it.”
“but i want to take my time with you.” He says bluntly, “do you not want me to?”
You shake your head, and a half smirk curls up his lips, “good.”
He noses right between your tits, giving them soft kisses which makes your teeth catch at your lower lip.
The minute the tip of his flushed cock nudges right into your cunt, pushing in, you both groan in relief.
Fuck was it a stretch even when you were just taking in his tip.
“Tell me if you don't want it anymore,” he reminds you, every single time.
Only when you nodded and wrapped your legs around his waist did he start to move, pulling out slowly before pushing back in while rolling one of your nipples to distract your fluttering walls from tightening too much around him.
He sets a gentle rhythm, each thrust deep and deliberate, taking his time, groaning as he watches his cock disappears into you before leaving you again and again.
Meanwhile you—you looked drunk on him, your worries pushed away as your head is rolling back and your ruined glossy lips part when he thrusts deeper into you.
“Nanam—” he squeezes your hip before kissing a mole from your body, “did you forget my name already?”
You pout, your fingers reaching to stroke his blond strands, “Kento,” you sigh breathlessly and his lips envelope yours—you’re even more breathless now.
“Ken—” you try speaking, only to be muffled by his passionate soft kisses that honestly just makes you feel a little bit loved.
He lifts your body a bit, his hands sliding down to take a feeling of your ass, giving them a squeeze before sliding up to the back of your thighs as he increases the pace of his rolling hips.
Was he fucking you or making love to you? There was definitely a difference between the two.
“Sweetheart,” the petname he only ever calls you in bed, it rings in your head, and it makes you clench tighter around him which makes him huff.
The rare raw feeling of his girth inside you makes you even warmer, you can almost feel every nerve throbbing and twitching. “i will pull out, don't worry—”
“No,” you stop him, and he seems confused.
“Cum inside.”
Bold.
“Oh, fuck me—” he pants before pressing your thighs down until your knees reach to your ears and you gasp when starts pounding into you like there was no tomorrow, you would stop him anyway if you felt uncomfortable, he trusted you on that.
But with you moaning and whining for release, he can only almost roll his eyes back as he holds it in for a minute just to get a more feeling of you.
“Kento, I'm not going to run—”
You don't know that, he doesn't know that. This is temporary, what if this was the last time you both get intimate together?
Oh, Kento would rather work overtime than end this.
“B-be my wife—” He almost whines when he comes right on the spot, the prettiest moans elicits from your throat as you cum with him, quite literally milking and squeezing every drop of his seed right inside you, making sure not to waste any.
And he's panting heavily into your neck, he's done for.
You stare down at his buried face onto your skin, noticing how his ears have gotten redder, “Ken, did i hear you right?”
He doesn't respond, and only rubs at your stomach slowly. Maybe… it's only a matter of time until it sticks, then this ’arrangement’ doesn't have to end.
#nanami kento x you#nanami kento x reader#kento nanami#nanami kento#jjk nanami#jjk x reader#nanami x reader#kento x reader#kento nanami smut#jjk smut#jjk#nanami smut#jjk kento#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu nanami
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can i request a reader who can’t admit she’s upset with one the marauders (or all)? like refuses to cry…only if you’re comfortable of course. thank you :)
Thank you for requesting gorgeous!
modern au
Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 1.3k words
The smell of smoke coming from the kitchen is the first sign that Sirius has tipped over from resentment into remorse.
“Jesus,” you open the front door on your way into the kitchen, eyes watering, “what are you doing?”
“I was trying to make rice,” he says, fanning desperately over your pressure cooker, “but I think I’ve fucked it.”
“Do you think so?” Any other day you’d both grin at the harmless snark, but now Sirius’ expression pinches and you think your own must look the same, your tone more biting than you meant for it to be. “It’s fine, it’ll be fine once it airs out. Help me with the windows?”
Sirius acts like it’s a competition, opening three windows before you’ve finished two and looking at you like he’s expecting a pat on the head for it. You try to give him a smile, and his expression clouds over.
“Sorry,” he says, voice not quite cool but oddly remote, “the idea was to surprise you with dinner, and I’ve broken your rice thingy instead.”
“It’s not broken,” you reassure him. “I’m sure it’ll be fine once I clean it out. Why were you trying to make dinner?”
Sirius grimaces. It’s a full body motion, his eyebrows hooking in the middle while the muscles in his forearms shift uncomfortably and his shoulders migrate upward. “Sort of a shitty attempt at an olive branch, I guess.”
Some of the smoke has cleared, and you brave the kitchen. “I don’t need an olive branch,” you say. “If you say we’re good, we’re good.”
“Don’t do that.” He follows you into the kitchen. “I can tell you’re upset, just because—” Sirius hisses when you take the bowl out of the pressure cooker, transferring it swiftly to the sink “—fuck, baby, don’t burn yourself. Let me take care of that later.”
“I’d rather handle it now,” you say, turning on the faucet. “I’m just letting it soak anyway.”
“I’m trying to handle this.” Sturdy hands wrap around your shoulders, turning you to face your boyfriend. He looks at you steadily. “Don’t pretend you’re not angry with me, because I know that you are.”
A spark of annoyance tingles up your spine as you shrug, reaching behind you to turn off the faucet. “I’m not.”
“Can you stop trying to make me feel like an idiot? I know you. You’ve been all stiff since last night.”
“You were angry last night. Not me.”
“Yeah, well it seems to have caught on.”
You turn away from him and back towards the sink, swishing your hand in the cold water of the bowl to dislodge the charred rice sticking to the bottom. You don’t know where Sirius gets off, acting like you’re holding a grudge when he’s the one who shouted at you last night. Your phone had died while you were out with friends. That was all that had happened. You didn’t think anything of it, because Sirius, the only person who would really worry about not being able to reach you, knew you were out and that you’d be home late.
But when you had gotten home, he’d been furious. Gone on and on about how he’d been trying to get a response from you all night, and how dangerous it was to get drunk when you couldn’t call anyone (nevermind that you’d been with your friends), and how freaked out he’d been. He wouldn’t listen to you. He’d only wanted to yell and rage, and make you sit in your heels on the couch while he did it. He’d even seemed like he might be tearing up a couple of times. And you hated to think of him being scared for you, but since when was it your responsibility to answer every time he called? He knew you were with your friends. You hadn’t asked him to check in on you.
He’d gone to bed still fuming and you’d stayed on the couch rather than try to sleep in a hostile bed. Now, inexplicably, his tune seems to have changed.
“So,” Sirius sighs, “this is you not mad, huh?”
“Yup.” You scrub at the bowl with your fingernails.
“I just want a chance to apologize.”
“You can if it’ll make you feel better, but I don’t need it.”
“Why can’t you just admit it?”
“Because I’m not the one who gets pissy about stupid things.” You dislodge a chunk of rice and your hand slips across the bowl, splashing water onto your shirt. “That’s you.”
There’s a second of dense, oppressive silence. When Sirius breaches it, you can hear the smirk in his voice. “There’s my girl. Tell me about the stupid things I got pissy about, would you?”
“It’s nothing.”
“No, it’s not. It wasn’t nothing to me, and clearly it wasn’t to you either. Go on, doll.”
“I don’t want to argue with you.”
“Sure you do.”
“Why do you want to fight so bad?”
“Because,” Sirius says, and you can hear him moving behind you, can all but see him leaning against the counter, the picture of insouciance, “I think you need to get it out of your system.”
You scrub harder at the bowl. Blackened bits of rice float to the top of the water. “Like you do?”
A pause. His voice softens. “It’s not always a good thing. I shouldn’t have shouted at you, last night.” Something in your chest tightens painfully at this new gentle tone. “I’m sorry. I let my temper get the better of me. I was just worried about you.”
“I don’t think that’s my fault,” you say, managing to sound mostly normal. You dump out the contents of the bowl, filling it again with warmer water. “My phone was dead, and I was with my friends. I didn’t need you to worry about me.”
“I just do, when I know you’ve all been drinking, and I can’t talk to you to know you’re okay…” Sirius takes in a breath, breaking your heart with how it sounds like he’s trying to steady himself. “But you’re right, okay? It wasn’t fair.”
“I didn’t know I was coming home to be shouted at.” This time, your voice betrays you, a pitchiness that makes you go quiet fast. You hear Sirius move.
“Sweetheart?” he asks softly. There’s a touch at your elbow. “I’m sorry, baby, please look at me.”
You don’t want to, but you don’t want your embarrassment interpreted as ire. You take a quiet breath before pivoting from the sink. Sirius’ eyes are waiting, sad and fretful as they probe at yours.
“I’m sorry,” he says again, impossibly quieter, and runs his fingers from your elbow up the back of your arm. “It wasn’t your fault, I wasn’t being fair. I shouldn’t have shouted at you.”
You press your lips together, hard. His eyebrows hook up in the middle.
“You can cry, sweet thing. It’s okay.” You shake your head mutely, blinking, and Sirius makes a terribly lovely cooing sound, snaking an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his chest. You hug him back as the first hot tear rolls down your cheek. “Oh, sweetheart. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” Your shoulders jump with a stilted, poorly repressed sob, his grip on you tightening. “It’s okay, I’ve got you. I’ve got you, baby. My temper tantrum really did a number on you, huh?”
You laugh wetly. “Guess so,” you squeak. “Sorry.”
“If you apologize for this, I may shout at you again,” he warns fondly. “You haven’t done anything wrong, lovely girl. Just let it out, if you need to.”
You know that’s not easy for Sirius to say. Know he’s likely close to tears himself, from how agitated seeing other people cry makes him. You appreciate the offer.
You fall into a silence less heavy than any that’s suffocated your home since last night, broken up only by the steady, quiet thumping of Sirius patting your back and the intermittent smooching sounds as he kisses your shoulder or your cheek or the side of your neck. You stand still in your smoky kitchen, wetting your boyfriend’s shoulder with tears and snot, and he lets you.
#sirius black#sirius black x reader#sirius black x fem!reader#sirius black x y/n#sirius black x you#sirius black x self insert#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black fanfic#sirius black fic#sirius black angst#sirius black hurt/comfort#sirius black drabble#sirius black imagine#sirius black scenario#sirius black blurb#sirius black oneshot#sirius black one shot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders x reader
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