#how both process the world and what it means to be on same coin just a dif side

[elderwisp]

◁ || ▷

[ light rattling ]

Frances: The hell?

Frances: Christ. Atlas. Atlas! Wake up!

Atlas: Hmm? Oh! Hello you. 

Frances: Found you.

Atlas: Good job but you never really needed me to tell you that. 

Frances: Are you sober? 

Atlas: Definitely coming down, that’s for sure. 

Atlas: [ rustling ]

Frances: You decent?

Atlas: [ snorts ] Sure. What? Did you want some? Should have told me sooner since I’m empty. 

Frances: You promised me this would stop. That was our deal.

Atlas: Promises are such a big commitment for something with such little return. I need something consistent, something I know. 

Frances: Did he really mess you up that badly?

Atlas: Don’t.

Frances: Because everything changed when he came into our lives.

Atlas: Stop.

Frances: You can’t even acknowledge him because you know it’s true.

Atlas: Stop it.

Frances: ROWAN! His name was Rowan and he ruined everything!

Atlas: Ruined everything?! Hah… Hahaha! No, no you’re wrong-

Frances: You’re so delusional you can’t even see it. Of course you can't, how could you?

Atlas: Get out. 

Frances: I am trying to help you!

Atlas: I said get out-

She grabs him by the shoulders

Frances: Were we not enough? Was I never enough? I’ve been here the entire time! All he ever did was leave you! I... I shouldn’t have said that. 

Atlas: [ voice breaks ] oh god…

Frances: Hey. No, no. I’m sorry. 

Atlas: [ whispers ] He didn’t ruin me, he only set me free. 

Frances: This is the price of freedom?

Atlas: No, this is the price of a heartbreak. This part is my fault. 

Frances: You can’t keep blaming yourself. 

Atlas: What makes you think I was in the right?

Frances: Because you’re my brother. I know you.

Atlas: [ small huff ] And you should know you can’t change a thing. 

Frances: I can. You’re going to get better. You have to. 

Atlas: How naive do you have to be to believe it’s a choice? I-

Frances: Are you ready to lose it all?

Atlas: … Say what you came here to say, Frances.

Frances: I don’t want this to be the rest of our lives. This has to be the last time. It needs to. [ pauses ] It needs to be or else I’m done. 

?: [ hurried knocking ]

Frances: You expecting someone?

Atlas: Trouble.

Frances: What?

?: [ banging ] I know you’re in there Atlas! Open the fucking door!

Frances: What did you do?

Atlas: You should… Stay here. Don’t come out until I say so.

[sskk-manifesto]

(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

[starredblood]

NOWHERE GIRL

PART SEVENTEEN

kang sae-byeok x fem!reader

synopsis: sae-byeok has been ignoring you for a couple of days and you have to find a way to confront her.

wc. 3.6k

warnings: none

(nowhere girl masterlist)

During those two weeks you didn’t face, Sae-byeok had a lot of time to—think. Properly think. Not just about the outside worries of the world like her all consuming debts, but about who she is. At first, she used to immediately kill the idea of exploring her sexuality. She didn’t have time for such things, it’s not of her. But ever since you abruptly barged your way into her life, she keeps getting pulled back down to face this idea.

Sae-byeok didn’t care about love either. She was content being by herself and the idea of having to bear another person’s responsibilities is too much. But with you it was so easy. Too easy. She has seamlessly embraced you so many times now and has held your hand—all like it was a natural instinct.

She’s getting new feelings and emotions she can’t pinpoint nor has a clue how to act upon them.

Sae-byeok bites the inside of her cheek. She’s looking at you now after days of trying not to, and the answer became clearer.

She thinks you’re a wonderful person. The brightest thing in her shitty life. She likes how much more kinder and wiser you are than her about life, yet still have a form of resilience even if you act upon them recklessly. The fact that you chose to leave your comfortable world behind to find more meaning in yourself in a country that’s against you—it inspired her to think about herself in that aspect. The world was also against her, but she didn’t willingly leave everything she loved behind like you did. However, you both did it for the freedom. But you aren’t naive for leaving—you are an optimist…meanwhile she’s on the other end of that coin. A pessimist.

Today you both came back to the apartment around the same time, you were ar work at the gallery whilst she pickpocketed. Because Sae-byeok lost her most stable job ever and she isn’t sure what will happen once you leave for the summer—she’s tirelessly going from city to city almost everyday trying to collect as much as she can from people’s pocket. Life is becoming uncertain again. It’s scarier now that she has Cheol to take care of. She’s terrified the closer the date of your departure creeps up.

But what scares her the most is what will happen when you come back. You could potentially meet new, more interesting and stable people meaning you’ll forget all about her. Sae-byeok turns bitter just thinking about it.

That’s why she refuses to speak to you. Because realistically, you won’t come back knocking on the apartment door and you’ll just be a lingering ghost trapped in her mind forever. A faint memory.

It was hard at first, avoiding you. Especially since you come to her so bright and full of optimism. She learned to just reply to you with a head shake and walk away. It pained her at first, seeing the obvious hurt in your eyes and your lower lip twitch but one day you’ll thank her. And she will come out of this without a broken heart.

In the kitchen, Sae-byeok is waiting for the water on the pot to boil for her instant ramen. Her phones currently in her room charging—the only form of entertainment she has is watching you.

You, of course, were sitting on the couch with your legs in a crisscross position while you jot down things in your tiny notebook. She was curious to know what possibly you could be writing down. Maybe you were writing a list of items you need for your Italy trip—or spilling your feelings like a journal. Either way, you are deeply concentrated on writing something down. It must be important.

But after a while, your neck and wrist need a break. So, you stretch your limbs and in the process of that your head tilts to where Sae-byeok is standing looking at you. Your face lit up when you caught her because it’s been days since you two made eye contact.

However, her expression hardens and she swiftly spins back around to check up on the boiling water. She concentrates on the feeling she gets in her chest—the rapid thump of her heart. That was something new. And it only took you to look at her for her heart to react this way.

She mentally curses at herself when she hears you shuffling. You had to be making your way to the kitchen. It was hard to avoid you when you keep trying your best to approach her.

“Hey,” she hears that soft voice creeping behind her. Sae-byeok stiffens when you stand next to her. “I was thinking what if I bring back pastries back from Italy. Seeing as you worked at a bakery I think it would be nice to get you sweets. Do you know any Italian sweets?”

Sae-byeok nods no and silently pours the boiling water into the ramen cup.

“Okay, well see if you can find something that peaks your interest. I’m making a list and I want you fill at least half of it.”

There you go again—being the wonderful selfless person, she thinks.

Sae-byeok knows she doesn’t deserve even a quarter of your kindness. You can do so much better than this, she’s sure of it. She’s just waiting for the day you realize that your life could be so much more fulfilling if she wasn’t in the picture.

Sae-byeok just darts to her room with the ramen cup in hand. Dealing with the guilt of giving you the cold shoulder was hard, but she knows she’ll have a harder time dealing with the grief of you forgetting about her.

It’ll be better this way. You both will come out less hurt in the end.

⊹ ✿・・───・・✦・・───・・✿

The thrift shop felt like it was part of a ghost town. Only you, Ji-yeong, and a singular visible employee are situated within these four walls currently. Although most of the clothing and shoe racks were filled to the brim, you could only afford to come for the one thing you need. A suitcase. And Ji-yeong swore by this place.

“Ah, well this isn’t much. Not like last time.” Ji-yeong pouts, crossing her arms and looks disappointed at the fact that there’s only three suitcases in the entire shop. “But that’s what we get for shopping last minute right before June.”

You reach over to inspect each of the suitcases. However, most have huge stains on the inner lining and one doesn’t even have a zipper attached.

“I guess these are the ones people didn’t want.” you sigh and roll them back to their previous spot in the corner of the shop. “I probably have to break the bank a little and buy one in a market.”

She scoffs. “Nonsense. Let’s come on a Monday morning that’s the day they get the best stock out.”

“Where are you going?”

“Shopping obviously.” she chips and scrolls through the endless rack of women’s tops. You send her a look. “What? I need new clothes for the warmer weather and it seems like you do too.”

“I can’t.” you say. It’s true—although it wasn’t the original plan at first. If you didn’t insist on paying Sae-byeok’s rent this month you would’ve been able to get new clothes for your trip. But you’re not going to cry over it.

Sae-byeok. Even just thinking about her makes your chest pang. You couldn’t deny the crush you have on her anymore—not after she confessed something so personal to you.

Now, you think about what more she could be hiding from the world. Her smile. You wish to see her smile sincerely and not in the sly manner like she usually does. A genuine one. It would be nice if you could be the one to make Kang Sae-byeok crack a smile. But that won’t happen in a while because she has been avoiding you for the past week or so.

It’s eating you alive not knowing the reason as to why that is. Or could you possibly just be paranoid? You think you might’ve scared her in some way shape or form. But one can only assume so much before losing your mind. And you know you’re starting to turn crazy.

Sae-byeok has always been a wildcard. A candle in the wind especially when it comes to being vulnerable. And she’s been so vulnerable with you in the past but flipped the switch after her confession. It’s all so confusing.

You didn’t notice you were spacing out until Ji-yeong shoves a shirt in your face. You blink back to reality.

“What do you think?” she asks you. “It’s a basic plain shirt but I think the color is nice. And it’s only two bucks—score!”

“Yeah. Pink looks nice on you.” you hum. Ji-yeong grins and tosses the shirt over her shoulders to keep on searching. “Hey, Ji-yeong.” you say after more thinking.

“Hm?”

“I think, Sae-byeok is avoiding me.”

She pauses shuffling through the racks and turns to look at you with a hardened expression.

“What makes you say that?”

“When was the last time you saw her speak to me this week?”

She winces. “Shit. When you put it like that—it definitely seems like she is. Do you know if you’ve done anything to upset her? I know that’s a hard question to answer since she pretty much gets upset about many things.”

You press your lips into a thin line and think back to Sae-byeok’s confession. “No. Everything’s been normal.” you somewhat lie.

“The only way to find out is to directly ask her.” Ji-yeong advises. “She’s so stubborn I’m certain that she will hold a grudge against someone to the grave. But if you just cut the bullshit and ask her—boom! There’s a ninety percent chance she will tell you—not in the nicest way of course.”

Confrontation. You’re very familiar with it but it’ll be hard for you to confront Sae-byeok amidst the revelation of your feelings for her. You could choke up or even worse accidentally stare straight at her plump lips. It’s already happened once or twice it’s a shocker she hasn’t caught you in the act.

“This top just screams Italy.” she gasps, pulling out a white eyelet tank and measuring it on your upper body.

“I told you I can’t spend money.” you frown. It was hard for you to decline such a pretty item of clothing though.

Ji-yeong wriggles her eyebrows. “I’ll buy it for you, silly. You gave me this beautiful necklace—this will be my gift to you.” she pulls the necklace out from her shirt.

“Thanks.” you mutter with a shy smile. “I’m glad you’re actually wearing it.”

“I’m not one to wear jewelry but I like that this one isn’t heavy. I don’t even feel it most of the time.”

Ji-yeong spends another hour or so browsing through the thrift shop. You just trail behind her to be her judge but you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking about the stone faced girl. If her best friend agrees with you, then she’s certainly avoiding you. And you will do something about it.

The sun was threatening to fall into the depths of the night by the time you and Ji-yeong make it back to the apartment. The days were getting hotter now that summer was approaching, you could barely walk without feeling heat exhaustion. It might just be you though because Ji-yeong merrily enters the apartment with a new bag of clothes.

Her outburst broke Sae-byeok’s trance from the phone call she was in. She was currently sitting on the couch, posture slumped and currently eyeing her roommate while avoiding eyeing you. She blinks back to stare at the floor and waits for the person on the other end of the call to speak. Your jaw clenches slightly—it was so obvious now.

“Oh, here before I forget—or before I purposefully keep it for myself.” she snorts and tosses you the white tank from her bag. She leans to reach the shell of your ear. “Good luck and remember—confrontation.” she whispers and whisks away to her room.

You stand there, staggered and with a shirt on hand. The hardest part might actually be walking over to the couch rather than the talking. Her presence seems more intense than usual—like any tiny thing someone does or says will receive a major outburst from her.

But if Ji-yeong is right, she will tell you the truth. So, you suck it up and plop down on the couch leaving a great amount of room in between you and Sae-byeok.

She’s still looks unfazed by you and doesn’t shift her eyes anywhere other than the ground. It might be nothing but it still makes your chest tighten. What made you feel more hurt was the fact that you don’t know what you’ve done to get the silent treatment from her.

“If you haven’t found her why bother call me? You’re wasting my minutes.” Sae-byeok retorts on the phone. Her voice was loud and demanding, it made your muscles tense. “I know it’s—I’m getting there…Just call me when you get actual information next time. Fucker.” she mutters the last part after hanging the call.

“Is everything alright?” you ask right after.

Sae-byeok went poker face on you the second you spoke. But you caught the way she faintly bit the corner of her bottom lip. She perhaps was contemplating something before she stood up from the couch. This is the part where you know too well—where she runs and hides.

You get off the couch as well and walk around her tall stature to prevent her from secluding in her room. Her eyes went round for a brief second, like she wasn’t expecting you to stop her.

“You’re avoiding me. Why?” you say, demand in your tone.

Sae-byeok’s dilated eyes turn malevolent and she straightens her shoulders. When she finally looks at you that’s when her expression turns even colder. “What are you talking about?” she scoffs.

She bumps past your shoulders to her room. It left you so bewildered—her sudden change. Your jaw went slack.

Then she reappears back from her room with her coat that she aggressively throws on, her way to the entrance door. It leaves you appalled.

“Where are you going?”

“Out.” she responds coolly.

“Out? Just like that?” you ask and she slams the door behind her as a response.

You were the ten percent.

“Did you guys fight?” Cheol’s voice appears briefly after you stood there to process what just happened.

Your nostrils flare up but you try to remain calm in front of Cheol who slips out of the room timidly.

“She looks mad…and she always leaves the house when she’s mad.” he murmurs before yawning.

“No, we didn’t fight…But I’ll go talk to her.” you state. It was hard not to choke up and you aren’t sure if Cheol is buying your lie with the odd look he is giving you.

“Okay...” he says, unsurely.

“Don’t worry we’ll be back soon, okay?”

When Cheol reluctantly goes back into his rooms the tears you held back were start to brim your eyes. You didn’t want to talk to her anymore in fear of ending up more hurt. However, you still rummage through your basket of clothes to find your light weight jacket. A small part of you has hope and that might just be enough to confront her.

So, you run after her. When you step outside the complex, you could barely make out Sae-byeok’s stature in the shadows of the young night. She is already two blocks ahead and is about to make a corner turn. You did a lot of running this year, but you never expect to run after this girl.

You feel an immense adrenaline rush when you finally see her after running like your life depended on it. However, she kept up her fast pace.

“S…Sae-byeok!” you are barely to say across the other end of the block.

After hearing your faint cry she stops dead in her tracks but doesn’t make a move to turn around to look at you. Your adrenaline sparks even higher when you sprint closer to her.

Now that she was at arms reach, you yank her by her arm.

“What the fuck!” she hisses when you pull her to the direction of a alleyway corner. However, she doesn’t fight back.

You pin her to the back to the alleyway and take a couple steps backwards to properly catch your breath.

“What is wrong with you?” she snarls, her voice is shaking. It could be mistaken for anger but there was a hint of concern that seeps through her aggressive tone.

When you finally blink your eyes open, you straighten yourself up to face her fully. The alleyway was dark. The shadows cover Sae-byeok’s freckles and you could barely see her sharp eyes and grimacing lips.

All the anger, hurt, and sadness you were feeling whisks away. Now, you were full of determination because she has no choice but to face you. You don’t feel your body movements, however your mind is blurry with thoughts of her.

You grab her by her collar pull her closer to clumsily crash her lips into yours. It was a quick impulsive kiss that ended as soon as it started. You know Sae-byeok isn’t a person who trusts someone by their words, she needs to see their actions. Even if it jeopardizes everything, it was the only way you were able to express it to her.

Her glistening eyes search yours the moment you pull away. You couldn’t possibly tell what she was feeling, but your actions must’ve flustered her by the flush that crept her face.

“I’m sorry.” you breathe, releasing your grip from her. The pull you had on her jacket exposed the lengthy scar on her neck she quickly tries masking with her hair. “But you won’t even listen to me I didn’t know what else to do to make you…”

Sae-byeok remains speechless by your earnest action. Her mouth opens and closes like a fish above water trying to search for the words needed to be spoken but ultimately flounders. To you, it was a sign to bury away your feelings deeply.

“Are you going to say anything?” you ask, your voice oozing with desperation. But she keeps on being quiet. “Fine, if—if you don’t feel the same way I’ll get over it…But if I knew you’d act weird like this then I promise you I would’ve never done what I just did!”

Sae-byeok was never a woman of words. You know that.

She doesn’t say anything at all when she reaches to cup the sides of your face to kiss you again. Now that you both know this affection is mutual, the second time is more gentle and lasting. This new sensation of intimacy was still so new to both of you, so you gave each other time to savor and test out this long felt kiss through feathery movements of each other’s lips and hesitant touches.

By the time you both pull away, both your arms are all over each others. Her hands gripping your waist, while yours were entangled in her short raven hair. Your faces were still inches away from each others as you both catch your breaths. Goosebumps trail Sae-byeok’s arms when your fingers absentmindedly traces the scar on her neck.

“Why were you avoiding me?” you ask, your eyes sparkly with tears.

“I’m…” is all she was able to say.

You push her away, causing her back to get pushed against the wall once more, and you wipe your tears. What was worse was the fact that you could still feel the ghost of her lips on yours.

“Wh—What did I do…?” you press further, still aggressively wiping off crystals of tears. When all the teardrops were gone you look into her guilty eyes. “Tell me, Sae-byeok!”

Her lower lip trembles and she faces down to her shoes. It was faint but you could hear her muffle to hold back sobs.

You reach to tuck the strands of hair on the sides of her face and gently make her face you. Her red eyes make your heart clench. “This isn’t just about me is it?” you whisper to her. “Tell me what’s wrong? Please.”

“I’m sorry.” she croaks. She tries to regain her composure by straightening herself up but you could still hear her sniffling. “I’m…just scared.”

You sigh and lean back against the wall beside her. It might be easier for her to talk if you weren’t directly looking at her.

“Scared of what?”

“You leaving.” she replies. You gulp. “Because you can. And you don’t have to burden yourself with me or my shitty life again because you have the opportunity to—to do great things in life. I don’t.”

“And you thought avoiding me would…hurt less.” you finish.

She barely just nods. And you just wonder how many more people in her life have left her in the past for her to want to cope this way.

“That won’t ever happen—“

“How do you know?” she cuts off, trembling. “People change.”

You go to take her hand and wait for her to look at you. “I know because what I feel for you won’t change after one stupid trip.” you say and watch the way her bites her bottom lip. “Sae-byeok, you’re so brave—and just…the love you have for Cheol and your mom it’s so beautiful. I get why you put on a hard front but I know you deeply care for your people. I see it everyday. Every sacrifice you’ve made was for love. And tomorrow, you will wake up at five in the morning like you always do because of love. Not many people in this world can do that, but you do. That’s why I really—truly like you…”

Sae-byeok immediately goes to wrap her arms around you. Her breathing relaxes through your touch.

“I really like you too.” she mutters shyly. “And I’m sorry again for avoiding you.”

“I forgive you. But please never do this again.”

“I won’t.”

“Promise me.”

“I solemnly promise.”

When the hug is mutually broken, the intense and high emotions is long subdued. Leaving you two to awkwardly stand there and reflect on this moment. When you and Sae-byeok make eye contact after this awkward pause, neither of you glance away. Instead, you share a small moment of laughter—also sharing blush cheeks and racing hearts.

“So…” you mumble.

“So…” she repeats, continuing to smile bashfully at you.

“Does this mean you are also a lesbian?”

🏷️: @monroesturnns @knfthxv @jumpedthenfell-13 @peelover25 @karli6 @kissedberries @bitchybananaflower @laurenkenss @saebyeokbliss @everly-summers-solace @we1rdth0ughts @wlvlurvsfimmia

[pygmi-says-hi]

writing tips - pagan religion

YO! pagan religions are hella cool!

They're also tricky to write.

Lemme help.

What is a pagan religion?

Pagan religions revolve around the natural world. The deities are associated with natural occurrences, and the ritual of life and death is crucial.

Life and death practices of pagan religions are usually the centerfold. Rituals in the religion have to do with sacrifice and natural procession in the environment.

Common themes:

hunter/hunted

dawn/dusk

stars!

growth and rot

Like any religion, there are two sides to every coin (god). If there is light, there must be dark. If there is heat, there must be freeze as well.

Worship? Devotion? Fear?

Another difference between pagan religions and monotheistic or polytheistic religions is the attitude of address. In mono/poly, it's a feeling of 'I will devote myself to you because i want to better myself and I believe it will assist that'. Pagan religions have an understanding of 'this is your world, we're just living in it. you are responsible for everything, so i pray to you to ask for protection from the side effects and to allow me to stay alive.'

it's less of a power thing and more of a survival/coexistence thing. Neither is bad! they're just different, and it's a sizeable difference.

Pagans believe that the world is joyful and of creation, not of suffering. There is no sacrifice to 'devote yourself' there is sacrifice to show appreciation and exchange for inhabiting the god's space.

Pagans are very earth conscious and aware of how the effects of their lives impact the holy world. Often, they are rustic societies that give back as much as possible.

A pantheon is not the same as pagan.

Just because they are both polytheistic doesn't mean they function the same way. There are differences!! Please research!!

Like I said in my pantheon religion post, it's important to do this research to do the religion justice. People who are pagan don't want to read sloppily, under-researched presentations of their beliefs. That doesn't help with media misrepresentation.

xox love you!

[warpfactorsix]

[Text: The Anomaly and Hexcorization are major events in season 2, and they involved a lot of innovative design work on the Riot and Fortiche sides. As usual, Fortiche drew from sources that might have looked far-fetched but ended up looking completely natural to their new context. Gold, for example, is a recurring motif in both of these events, and for its use in the show’s design. Anne-Laure To, from Fortiche, brings up the influence of kintsugi, which is a repair technique in Japanese ceramics. How could that possibly figure into Piltover or Zaun, which are technically not related to Japan? The connection actually comes from the very concept of kintsugi rather than specific pieces. “Legend has it that an emperor broke a bowl that he loved, probably from an earlier dynasty, and that had great artistic and monetary value,” To said, recounting the origins of the technique. “He asked several artists to repair it and they said it was impossible. An artisan came in with the idea to fill in the cracks with gold, to emphasize the cracks themselves. So the object became even more valuable because the new technique had sublimated the cracks. It’s visually striking but it’s also full of meaning, and it was interesting to us because some characters might be deformed in some way, which impacts the way they move.”

The idea of a repair that actually alters something’s nature is especially poignant in the case of Hexcorization, which refers to the way Viktor’s life is somehow saved by [the] Hexcore at the start of Season 2, while being irremediably changed by it at the same time—Arcane is, in part, about trying things out, sometimes with little idea of the consequences. The Anomaly and Hexcorization are examples of Riot and Fortiche setting an almost experimental course in both storytelling and design, incorporating classic science-fiction themes (and visuals) such as biomechanical mutations and the exploration of mind power.]

***

OK, so i saw this floating around on Pinterest and thought hey, pretty art! but then i started reading the text and this passage struck me:

“An artisan came in with the idea to fill in the cracks with gold, to emphasize the cracks themselves. So the object became even more valuable because the new technique had sublimated the cracks.”

Which interestingly, goes against the crux of Viktor’s villain arc—the idea that physical “impurity” and the fickle nature of emotion, and thus leading him to denounce humanity as a whole:

“It's inescapable. Humanity. Our very essence. Our emotions... Rage. Compassion. Hate. Two sides of the same coin. Inextricably bound. That which inspires us to our greatest good is also the cause of our greatest evil.”

And thus what is needed to “fix” the world is “a repair that actually alters something’s nature [which] is especially poignant in the case of Hexcorization”—something that moves away from the human condition, rather than embracing it with all its flaws, as with kintsugi, where “the object became even more valuable because the new technique had sublimated the cracks”—not an erasure, but a radical acknowledgement and embracement

So then we we have Jayce’s dialogue:

“You’ve always wanted to cure what you thought were weaknesses. Your leg. Your disease. But you were never broken, Viktor. There is beauty in imperfections. They made you who you are. An inseparable piece of everything… I admired about you.”

Viktor is Jayce’s kintsugi bowl. Not someone to be loved because of an other “perfect” and “cured” self, but someone to be loved because of the whole sum of themselves

So this vital contradiction of the philosophy of kintsugi and the process of Hexcorization, as much as they share visuals, is just incredibly fascinating to me

[purpledemonlilyposting]

Oh good Lorch is opening her mouth about Utena again. A series she only talks about because ND Stevenson and Rebecca Sugar made references to it, and because I criticized her takes on it.

Spoilers and long ass diatribes below.

[Lily's Post]

Let's do this point by point shall we?

The Thermian Argument was coined by Dan Olson... you know the Breadtuber who uploaded lolicon onto 8chan so he could write an article about how there's lolicon on 8chan. So that's a good start.

What it apparently means is a logical fallacy wherein someone uses the text of a work to quash criticism of something offensive in that work.

I'm sure Lily is going to use it to mean you can't use the text of the work to quash her own misinterpretation of that text.

Ah this is how we know she has FINALLY maybe actually watched the series. She has never mentioned the incestous tones between the three different sets of siblings in the show before now.

It isn't really played for a joke. With Nanami it's her immaturity. She doesn't really get why its inappropriate to hold her brother up as the ideal man and want chaste kisses from him like when they were little. Just like she doesn't get why its inappropriate to refer to her elementary schooler simp as her "boyfriend". She's clad in yellow when she tries to take her brother's place on the student council for a reason. She's very naive, very immature, still clinging to childhood notions of the world. Akio tries to encourage Touga to take her affection in a sexual direction to manipulate both of them, but Nanami resolutely rejects it. Because the adult reality of her childhood fancy is not what she actually wants.

Some people also speculate Nanami is a deeply closeted lesbian, given she's quick to accuse Utena of being one. And that by holding up her brother, an unattainable man, as the ultimate ideal man she's excusing herself from having to engage with other men.

And yes she drowned a kitten she originally gave to her brother out of jealously. By putting it in a box and pushing it into a reservoir. When she was a little kid and didn't know any better. And regretted it immediately.

Get this Lily: characters... can have flaws.

And that's probably why she constantly has bad karma with animals. Well also Anthy fucking with her.

Kozue and Miki are a whole other story. There was one event in their childhood that shattered how close they used to be, then their parents divorced and neither one of them really knows what to do with those feelings as they enter adolescence.

At what point is any of it fetishistic? It's always depicted as a negative thing. Do you just think it's fetishistic because of your own very obvious incest fetish Lily?

Also we're talking about princes and princesses here when the reality is often times there were arranged marriages between siblings among royalty so. You know. There's that too.

Something happening in a piece of fiction isn't an endorsement.

Lily stop treating goddamn TV Tropes as your media criticism bible.

Maybe instead of just going by what Noralities says you could, I dunno, just watch the show, and pay attention, and try to follow what it is communicating to you, and then draw your own conclusions? Wild idea I know.

Well golly gee and who was the one out here saying "Utena isn't yuri" "Utena isn't gay rep" and getting shat on on Twitter for it? You know the same Twitter conversations YOU try to use against me?

More like it's impossible for you to understand the themes because it is a very abstract, metaphorical and surrealist piece of media.

By the way Lily the primary driving theme of RGU is adolescence. That "apocalyptic" period between childhood and adulthood. The process of the death of the child and the birth of the adult. Those inbetween years when you are neither. And all of these people are within a hazy endless summer at Ohtori Academy until they find their path to adulthood, with Akio and Anthy preying upon them.

You don't have to like it Lily. No one gives a damn. The fans will continue discussing and analyzing this work as we have done for the past almost 30 years. Your input is not needed.

https://ohtori.nu/analysis/

https://satirist.org/essays/utena/

So absolute proof Lily had not watched the show in 17 years when she ran her mouth about it in her 2023 SU video. You know the thing that directly lead to me becoming a YouTuber and a thorn in her side:

(pun absolutely intended)

Again: no one gives a damn if you don't like it. And yeah, it's not a very accessible series to the average viewer. Oh well!

You said it, not me.

Utena is an important piece of art beyond it being anime, Lily. Suck it up. It's a product of the people and time it was made in, by their own studio with their own rules. Only that exact confluence of events could have lead to its creation.

[blonndiec]

🍃 Of Murphy's Law (of Destiny), Grieving and the Duality of Luck 🍃

With the re-release of Murphy’s Law (of Destiny) and gearing up for Yuuri’s day one-shot, I figured it’d be a good time to share how this story came to be and what inspired it. You could say that this is part of my creative process, as sometimes my brain works as if creating a 365 pitch or putting together a mood-board with colliding ideas to create a concept.

Some of the context: I officially joined the fandom this January (unofficially, it’s been about a year), and in March, something massive hit. Everything I knew felt like it shattered, and I turned to writing and making art as a way to get through it.

Murphy’s Law (of Destiny) came out of that moment—a really low point, the lowest in all this life process. It was the time when I kept thinking —and hoping, desperately— about how sometimes the absolute worst days might actually be leading to something way bigger and better, like the universe’s twisted version of a “double butterfly effect.” That whole concept of the worst things happening before something better was a bit of hope I held onto. But at the same time, life, as cruel as it may seem, just keeps moving on for the rest of the world while you’re stuck in this phase, going through it. To some other people, what feels like your lowest point could even be their best time, and feels like you’re watching their joy on the other side of a glass. It’s so crude, yet it’s real—life doesn’t stop, and that reality can be both harsh and grounding.

I was in the thick of grieving, constantly thinking about those concepts and life experiences, especially because you have no control, and it feels totally random.

Writing was my way of handling the mix of numbness and tangled-up thoughts I was feeling. I tried to get a grip on my emotions by grounding everything in logic—facts, science, data, numbers...whatever made sense—because what was happening inside was a mess of thoughts and empty feelings that didn’t.

This contrast of grounding something as abstract as “destiny” in logic isn’t new to me, either. I grew up binge-watching documentaries and reading science books (it’s also how I learned English, go figure). At the time, looking at destiny through a scientific lens just made sense—like a buffer against all the chaotic feelings I was dealing with.

Murphy’s Law (of Destiny) became my way to explore this idea: sometimes, the worst things in life are just one side of the coin, leading to something better on the flip side. By examining fate through logic, Viktor’s world is reframed as a series of catalysts and reactions, making even the worst experiences stepping stones toward an unseen “other side.” Viktor’s chaotic day, filled with humiliating stumbles and unforeseen disasters, symbolizes a struggle to piece together meaning from seemingly senseless pain.

What surprised me most was how much people resonated with it.

Since writing Murphy’s Law, I’ve been working on stories about “the other side of the coin”—how I’m slowly finding my way out of that dark place and noticing the bright spots again. There’s something comforting in realizing that even the worst moments we go through can end up opening doors we didn’t know were there. So if Murphy’s Law (of Destiny) resonates with you, maybe it’s because sometimes, what feels like a disaster might just be the start of something you end up grateful for, even if it’s wrapped in the messiest package.🌠

Have you ever had a moment that felt like that, only to realize later it opened up something unexpectedly positive? 💖 I’d love to hear your thoughts on those 'other side of the coin' experiences. 💖

Also, if you haven't read it yet, you can read Murphy’s Law (of Destiny) here.

[skyborneveggie]

hmm how about 7, 13, and 28 for the ask game? :>

💜🙏💜🙏💜

7. Your favorite kira?

Assuming this q means aside from my beloved bb Light, that would be Misa. I just love how unapologetic she is about murdering, I love how unabashedly she pursues the things she wants, I love how she doesn't give a shit as to whether Light means the things he says and long as he plays house with her nicely like a good dolly. I love how twisted and devoid she's become on the inside in the process of trying to run away from herself. She and Light both succeed in this; they have excised themselves from their bodies and live on as hollow facsimiles of the people they used to be. They are perfect for each other, in a way. The ideal toxic duo to rule over Light's new world.

I feel that Light really underestimated how essential Misa's willingness was to keeping his plans in check. Takada had too much self-respect for there to not be some conflict arising down the road, the same as which happened with Mikami. She was more emotionally mature and Light had to maintain the more difficult lie of something approaching authenticity with her. If Light wanted the perfect queen, it really only could have been Misa who filled those shoes to his expectations.

13. Favorite ships?

Classic Lawlight, who can resist the web of their toxicity? 😩 They really are two sides of the same coin. Very early on into my death note journey I came across this reddit post discussing the possible intentional coding of Light & L as sex symbols (in the anime, I believe). And while I don't agree with every point the op makes, I do find it interesting to consider how this coding affects our perception of their interactions, & intensifies the conflict between them in an eroticized way.

Second favorite would be Matsulight. The warehouse scene is just so, so soul-crushing for me, and I like to imagine what could happen if it was amplified to 1000. I talked about it extensively on this post, but to quote myself in summary:

It's just so heartbreaking to watch the one person who trusted Light entirely, fall apart under revelation of the truth. And cathartic too, to see the depth of Light's betrayal embodied in Matsuda's visceral rage. In a room full of grim and stone-faced people, Matsuda is the only one whose grief flows freely. Light was not in his right mind enough to realize it, but he died with the possibility of knowing that someone had cared about him enough to grieve him, and do so immensely.

(Also, I one of the first fics that I ever read for DN was Matsulight & it really compelled me. I went back to read it recently & I realized it was your fic. You did such an incredible job 😭. It's one of my all-time favorites!!!)

Third favorite, I've been getting into Misa/Takada lately. I feel like there's a lot of detestation & potential poisonous energy between them waiting to be explored. They are both such different entities, & interact with Light & the death note & their own internal selves in entirely different ways.

28. Favorite official art.

I LOVE the composition of this image. The way Light is in the foreground as the subject but frames Naomi as the centerpiece, with Ryuk and Raye lurking in the background... *chefs kiss* brilliant. Also love the grim reaper connotations with the scythe; Misa's accompanying grim reaper art is a close second for that reason too.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I've asked myself many times over the course of three years about how would I react to information that comes to contradict a specific image I have about people. And the answer would differ, more or less, depending on a myriad of factors, such as my mental wellbeing, my attitude toward the fandom, the group, the members, etc. The truth is, I only knew how I would respond the moment it happens and I was pleasantly surprised in a way. I see it as a sign that I'm doing better or at least I'm on the path of doing better.

These are things that I didn't want to allow to come to surface in the way I used to handle the BTM blog. Perhaps because the point was to create a platform in which I could offer the rational, researched perspective which I considered to be the correct one. I'm not retracting any of that. I still believe that it is possible to offer a more complex perspective if I can back it up with knowledge from various fields, but it was also one of my defense mechanisms.

Without expanding on the personal reasons, it has become very easy for me to separate my rational and emotional side. So much, that even when I should be staying in the moment and let my emotions take space, I can't really do it, I need to come up with a rational explanation so it can make sense. I then applied this to BTS as well. I couldn't just say I like this group when someone would ask, I would have to tell them about all the studies I read and how my fascination is mostly intelectual, when in truth it was both. I used to talk about jikook only in the context of analysis, be it GCF through semiotics or various types of interpretations when it came to their performances or fandom reception in terms of their dynamics. It had to be in the context of rational fascination and curiosity because I was merely trying to justify myself on why I care that much about two strangers that I look at on my phone. Again, my intellectual curiosity is real, but that has always been only one side if the coin, but it was one that I pushed.

It's about shame actually. I can't actually accept that I have such an interest. It doesn't fit with the idea I have of myself. And sometimes I don't like it because it makes me question my intellect, my critical thinking. How can I be so good academically and at the same time I fear that I've fallen into a fandom trap? I'm smart, right? Right?

I'm sure a lot of people have dealt with or ar going through this process of cognitive dissonance. How does one deal with the mere idea that something they believe in based on their understanding of the world, their ability of decoding (not in a conspiracy sense, but in a Saussurean way) can turn out to be wrong? We see something that resembles a specific behavior that we are surrounded with our entire lives, sometimes we ourselves engage with, but we've identified it wrong on others? Of course, it's through the visual medium, one that is edited. It's a puzzle with large chunks missing, but we're getting a general idea of it. But we can be wrong. So how do we deal with that? Well, I don't have a correct answer.

Me in 2020/2021 would have been more affected because my mental health was not good. I was functionally depressed and I clinged so much onto BTS, Jikook and the small community that I found myself in at that time, that I would have felt a lot more torn than I am now.

A couple of years later and having to actually go through a situation in which my understanding of people's relationship might not be accurate, I realized I'm fine. And I think it's because it made me really register just now that I finally learned how to have fun with it. It took me three years. By having fun, I mean genuinely being able to simply enjoy the little things. I'm still on the path of not being ashamed for liking kpop or spending time talking about the dynamic/relationship of two people.

What prompted this post was reading what is currently being written in the jikook tag. Yes, I had this big introductory chunk that perhaps people won't bother reading, but I'm doing it for myself. If I can't be honest while writing stuff into the void for strangers to read, then what is the point?

I get frustrated very easily. I like debates and contradictory points of view, but not always. And that's because I like to be right. Almost all the time. So when I see something that I believe it lacks logic or I find it absurd, then my fingers are itching. I don't comment or DM people, I can control myself. I'd rather get out of the app and do something else.

What I want to say is I was surprised at how much fanfiction is being written. More that usual. Shipping contains a big deal of fanfiction by its nature. Gestures and events taking place at different times are interpreted and having information added that fills the gaps. People do that because they have to make sense of what they see.

They like to make relationship timelines. They speculate on first kisses and first sexual experiences. That's their imagination. None of us has any way of knowing. The element of fiction is heighted when people feel like they are losing control of the narrative. When they are unsure of what they are seeing. Which is what usually happens in the shipping community on a yearly basis. Anons flooding the bloggers' inboxes because they need confirmation or they didn't get any ship content in a month or two which means something is wrong.

There's this understanding that the shipper/supporter is delusional while the one who stops shipping is the rational one. From what I've observed throughout time and mostly now, that is a false distinction. The so-called rational fan makes use of fiction just as the shipper. The difference is in purpose. One talks about why the supposed romantic relationship is real and the other tries to refute that. But both categories seem to need fiction in order to build their arguments. That is because none of them have access to someone's private life and relationship, so the gaps need to be filled with speculation. There is no right or wrong version here, despite how much the idea is being pushed. And me writing about this won't make a difference. It's simply how the fandom works. The one who position themselves on the side of anti-delulu will always be seen as the less crazy one. The similarities will fade for the collective consciousness of the fandom.

I think it's difficult for a lot of people, regardless on which side they find themselves on, to accept that the option of simply not knowing is enough as well. Or knowing, but without getting anal about it. But it's hard and they write posts after posts, anons are sending asks over asks because there has to be a firm answer. Only a few allow themselves to be in between lines.

I'll bring back something that I always used to say. Shipping and involvement in the fandom is a lot more about us and less about the people we're talking about. It's about fullfiling some needs, of needing a community, of focusing on the idea of love. Those things can still be done in a way that still makes the experience enjoyable. But not everyone can and I'm not blaming it.

There's a way to just like how people behave with each other and imagine things without adding so much weight to it. Regardless of the true nature. It's our imagination, there's no need for a moral inquisition to tell anyone how to think or that they should stop thinking a certain way. Touching some grass is a cliche and an expression I ended up hating, but I do believe that being connected to discourse on a daily basis can really alter our sense of reality and what we consider to be real issues. We really should pay more attention to that and take some distance if necessary.

[moodymisty]

Hello! I noticed you wrote something for Darksodwrs Samael, I'm so happy! Might I request some... Headcanons I think would be best, for Samaels s/o or, if the relationship isn't established just yet, crush, always ‘draping’ him in earnest, kind yet simple compliments? From both his spectacular appearance to his brilliant mind? Apologise if this is a bit vague! Thank you!

Author's note: Hello Hello friend! I'm excited to give another try at writing for Samael, so hopefully you will like this one. I decided to do some headcanons, with a bit of a little tiny drabble at the end. Best of both worlds.

Relationships: Samael/Gn!Reader (just how it turned out; not a nickname or anything that could allude to a specific gender in sight)

Warnings: None, unless you consider flirting with a demon something to warn about ;3

Samael is of the sort who believes that behind every single compliment, wink, gift- is a motive. Be it monetary, physical, or something else entirely. No one does something without expecting something in return, be it now, or down the line.

That thought process very quickly gets challenged however, when he meets you.

As a human associated with the Horsemen, you have a lot to gain from making nice with him; Or at least making a tentative enough relationship that it secures more of the safely of your realm.

But everything you do just, doesn't make sense to him. No matter how hard he's tried to wrack his brain, there isn't a solid reason as to why you do and say the things you do to him.

You'd first asked for a tour of his palace- odd, given humans have a fear of Hell, but he had indulged. Maybe you're looking for structural weaknesses, or ideas of what he's researching to relay back to the Horsemen so they can keep an eye on him. He doesn't think it would be too unusual for them to use you in that way; Even if they are not fond of the two of you being in the same realm to begin with.

But no, that doesn't turn out to be the case. You just ask about paintings and gold coins, curiously looking up at towering statues of demons who's names you have not the slightest clue.

And as if that isn't odd enough for the demon to deal with, not soon after, you start complimenting him.

Not even just about his power or stature, but odd seemingly minuscule things. And for the first time, he doesn't have a response to them. At least none of the usual ones. They all feel so, crude, in comparison as to what you're saying to him.

'Do all demons have wings like yours? They look amazing...'

'Have you really been around that long? You need to tell me about some of the things you've seen.'

'Has anyone ever told you your voice is, really soothing?'

You always have a smile when you say these things, and for the first time, Samael is genuinely confused and almost unsure of what to do. On one hand he wants to be suspicious, but on the other, he feels like he's getting wrapped around your finger.

Each time he sees you he's yearning for a compliment to come from your lips. Less so because of narcissism, and more so because they sound so earnest. You mean each and every one of them, unlike others who are only seeking to throw platitudes at him.

Maybe that's been your plan the whole time, to make him like you like this. He almost becomes furious at the idea that it's actually working.

You're on his mind far more than anything else, thinking of you and softening some of his sharper edges so he doesn't wound your gentle soul with harsh words he's used to using towards other demons.

He starts getting you physical gifts in retaliation; A handcrafted sword, jewelry suited to your tastes, mythical texts in books bound with gold filigree. All extravagant, and nothing he's even done before. He didn't even go through this sort of thought for Lilith.

You refuse most of them, the latest time specifying why- saying that your time with him is good enough. And it only serves to baffle him even more.

In a way, Samael would almost classify himself as beginning to have an obsession over you. But he keeps himself in line with his expected formality, just barely.

"So, what is it you're going to show me?"

You can't help but keep up the air of curiosity, looking up at Samael as one of his wings casually stretches. Their shape was always curious to you, but you've never gotten around to asking if they're simply unique to him, or if the odd upside down shape is simply common among demons. He's the only friendly demon you've met, after all.

"Your ceaseless curiosity is going to get you in trouble, one day." He says so with a voice filled with teasing, so you just shrug your shoulders.

"Funny, you're not the first non-human that's said that to me." He's not surprised in the slightest at that fact, though he does wonder who else it was that said so. Presumably one of the Horsemen.

Death, if he had to guess. It would be the most in character of him to do so, especially considering he is the one most against your being near him.

"Here we are." You're a bit too busy looking up at him to notice where you've ended up, until you turn your head and notice the drastically different scenery ahead of you.

"This is my private library." He takes on step forward, still speaking to you, but also overlooking the vast array of tables and shelves. His tail gently hovers over the ground, swaying back and forth lazily.

"Almost every bit of knowledge I have collected rests here." Samael protects this area with almost as much fervor as his own life; It's the source of so much of what he knows, and a one of his grandest prizes.

After all when you're effectively immortal, things like gold and shining trinkets stop meaning as much, in the grand scheme of things. Then do things like information, knowledge and secrets, begin to hold a much greater value. So even if you may not even realize, it's a overwhelmingly large deal for him to do this.

A testament for how much he sees in you that he likes.

"You had mentioned enjoying tomes." He has a tiny smirk that reveals the sharp points of his upper fangs. "Feel free to sate your curiosity."

Mouth set partly agape you look around, the usual filigree of the demon's palace also adorning a large array of tomes. He's watching your glowing face, and in a briefly pride filled thought, he's pleased to finally get such a reaction from you. None of his other gifts had worked; And over time he's learned that you don't want strictly physical things.

What is odd for him however, is that getting this reaction from you doesn't earn him anything. Normally that would've been his only goal, but now, it's only seeing your fondness for him that he desires. A small repayment, for all of the kind little human words you've shown him.

"Seriously?" His smirk grows wider, showing off his sharp teeth even more. At which you smile back, feeling your face grow a bit warm.

"Thanks, Samael. This is amazing."

"Now, go have your fun. Before the Horsemen come to steal you back." He gestures with his head forward and watches as you trot away. Though as you start to look around, Samael's mind begins to wander as well.

Now that he's earned your friendship, Samael begins to wonder what he can do to earn more, looking at the way you're gleefully peering around. You've shown so much of your little soul to him, and he wants more. Not to toy with it, or snuff it out; He wants to keep it safe. Keep it all to himself. There's not much more he wants now than for you to say you love him.

Now Samael finds himself understanding why the other races are becoming so fond of humans.

[indigos-shits-and-giggles]

So, lately I've been thinking about what Fears would focus on the Stan twins, that being Stanford and Stanley Pines, if they ended up in the universe of the Magnus Archives. This really interests me because number one, my brainrot about the Gravity Falls / The Magnus Archives crossover AU has not ceased, and number two, it's just a really fun thought exercise. Well, I think I've come to a few conclusions that honestly kind of fit in my mind, that Grunkle Ford would be an avatar of the Spiral, marked by the Eye, and Grunkle Stan would be an avatar of the Stranger.

First, I think I should explain why Stanford's an avatar of the Spiral and not the eye. While I think him being an Eye avatar does also fit, I'm honestly not inclined to go for that because firstly, it'd overlap with Dipper being an avatar of the Eye, and secondly being an avatar of the Spiral fits in a much more intriguing way. See, during Stanford's time researching paranormal phenomena in Gravity Falls, he has been deceived, and deceived others. He's deceived by Bill Cipher, who he honestly thought was his friend, his muse, only to learn that Bill didn't have his best interests at heart, and he's deceived Fiddleford, lying to his friend about what the portal was going to do, and where he was getting all this information in the first place. I mean, obviously, "I'm friends with a yellow Dorito demon and that's why we're building the portal," isn't something you can tell just about anyone. So, Fiddleford is left mostly in the dark, until that fateful day where he ends up falling into the portal and glimpsing the horrors that lie on the other side.

Then, Fiddleford leaves, declaring the project to be far too dangerous, and all Stanford is left with is the firm belief that he can't trust anyone. He couldn't trust Bill, who nearly led him to destroying the world, and he couldn't trust Fiddleford, who abandoned him and the project they'd spent years working on together. However, he'd also inadvertently lied to Fiddleford in the process, both about how he'd gotten the idea for the portal, and why it was supposed to be built in the first place (though that was mostly Bill's fault). And that deception, those lies that had cursed the whole project to begin with, makes the exact kind of paranoia the Spiral would love to prey on.

Of course, we can't forget about good ol' Stanley Pines, who spent literal decades lying about his identity, living in Ford's house, using Ford's name, and even, to an extent, wearing Ford's face. You can probably see where I'm going with this, right? Yeah, Stan Pines is an avatar of the Stranger. 'Nuff said. After all, he's certainly had practice pretending to be someone he wasn't, so he'd fit right in with the Not-Them! Some might say he's... Not-Stan?

...yeah, that's was barely even a joke, let alone a good one. I'll see myself out.

BUT NOT BEFORE I WRITE A GOOD CONCLUSION TO THIS RAMBLE!!!

In the end, Stanley and Stanford Pines are both two sides of the same coin, similar to how the Fears that claim them bleed into each-other. After all, you can't truly separate the fear of being deceived from the fear of things that are almost the people you know, but not. Just like how you can never really separate the Stan Pines twins.

[northwind808]

Kinda weird, but I just wanna get this off my chest.

I don’t understand why people hate. I also don’t understand how or why people love, but are they not two sides of the same coin? Both stem from passion for an idea or a person or a thing. I understand liking or not liking something, such as pineapple on pizza, but I cannot wrap my mind around why people hate other groups of their fellow humans.

I have tried hating, and I have found it to be so tiring. I have run off of spite and hate for so long that I’ve forgotten what it was like to love oneself. If hating elicits this sort of reaction, takes this much of a toll on one’s mind and spirit, then why wouldn’t one choose to love instead? Why are the people who hate so dead-set in erasing the targets of their ire? Would it not be easier for them to mind their own business, continue about their day and just choose to separate themselves from situations where they become assholes? Why do they spend so much energy hating and hating and hating?

And why are they so adverse to their children being taught that the things they hate exist? I don’t get the “if kids are taught about trans/gay things, they will be trans/gay.” Most everyone reading this post was taught how to read and/or write, but I doubt they are the second coming of Shakespeare. Just because kids were taught about numbers and math doesn’t mean that they’ll become Pythagoras.

We exist in a world that so diverse and has so much to offer. Life has gone through a long journey to get to where it is now, with the variety that surrounds us today and the ability for us to even think and read and write. Is that not unbelievable enough? That throughout whatever history one believes in, somehow it led to you, reader, who’s currently taking in the words on your screen and processing them into a stream of information to understand?

I don’t understand. I’m tired, so very tired of trying to justify my existence to others who hate, tired of trying to support the people around me as they fight against oppression; for themselves and for the next generation. I’m tired of hating, tired of fighting for my right to wake up tomorrow and exist in the world, but I can’t stop. I won’t stop.

I might not understand everything in this crazy, complicated world, but I know that people like my friends and I have always been here, and hopefully we’ll still be here a decade or two down the line. And we will continue to fight. Not fueled by hate, but for love of ourselves, for our friends, for our families, and for the future generations.

[web-witch]

Charming the Chaos

Let’s admit it, all of our lives are enshrouded in chaos. Work, family, friends, bills, the list goes on. Where do we ever find time to practice? That is the question I’ve been asking myself. While I write this blog post, I am sitting on a pull out bed in a hotel while on a family vacation and am finding myself thinking about the way I use magic and how I integrate it into my life without disturbing the rest of my day to day stuff. If you want the honest answer, I don’t. They are two sides of the same coin and my path is very much drawn to the digital realm as well as the artistic realm. Last night, I was at my grandmother’s house and found out that my great grandmother was very into thread craft. Sewing, weaving, knitting, crocheting, she was really good at it. It was an answer I had often wondered about. However, finding that piece of information led to more questions about my practice and how much of it was actually me or if my genetics were just driving me towards things that my ancestors did. The answer to that is it’s both. Some people say that magic is a spark within you. Well a spark is formed by crashing two rocks together. Those rocks are the mundane and the magical. The spark is the chaos that results from that. Magic is the process by which we use that chaos to our advantage. Over the course of this trip, I’ve studied neo-shamanic practices, neo-druidry, and even a bit of Christian magic. The spirits have often called me a walker between worlds, they never elaborated upon that term. Now it makes sense. I am the one who defines what that term means. I am the one who spins chaos into spells, weaves words into enchantments and knits fabrics together along with various other things. This is what I’ve discovered and while this trip is hardly over, it does stand to reason that there is a purpose for this understanding coming to me at this moment and even me blogging about it in this moment. So my question to you is “how do you charm the chaos in your life?”

[luuv-zomby]

Why Do We Support Willogenics But Not Radqueers?

Pt. Why Do We Support Willogenics But Not Radqueers?

Howdy, two mods here! Ginny and Catherine from Soldier of Heaven and mod Shuriken from Spring and a Storm. We're gonna take some time to explain our points of view on this topic. Both of us mods have separate ideas on why we support willogenic systems but not radqueer systems.

Let's start with my POV (Ginny and Catherine II; SoH). Why do we not support radqueers? Easy answer: In our opinion, they are completely stupid. Wanting a disability or a disorder is terrible. Most people with these things do not want to be that way. We are dxed with BPD, and we would happily trade it for no disorder. I'm going to try and look from your point of view for a second. I assume that as an anti-endo you believe plurality can only be achieved by DID. We believe that anyone can experience this symptom and not be disordered. Willogenic systems do not necessarily want to be disordered. They just would like "people in their head" as one could say.

I will also just take a second to remind you that we do not think DID is just a "people in your head" disorder. This is just me simplifying things. DID is a very serious condition that includes a ton of symptoms. It's a traumagenic dissociation disorder. What does this mean? It's a condition formed by trauma that contains dissociative symptoms. How do I know this? I've been learning about this for a solid year trying to understand myself. We've suspected DID for almost a year and have been learning about it since our ex-psys came out as one to us.

My last part to add is that this blog can be used to help flesh out fragmented parts. Which I know of some traumagenic systems who do.

Shuriken here. I most likely have a ton of experience with this topic considering that we, as a system, used to be radqueers due to severe mental health issues and delusions. We are also traumagenic, but Willogenic is not the same as Radqueer systems.

They may have the same 'principle' of making your headmates, but there's a pretty stark difference. One doesn't support people who think they can be TransDepression or TransCultist. The other is just a system who happens to be Willogenic without being a Radqueer. The idea of Radqueer Systems is more than it being that; it's the principle of their morality. Do not think Radqueer is just about systems. Sorry if this came off as rude; but I'm just saying it as it is!

Added on later by mod Spoil the Party:

plurality has existed in nonmedical contexts for years and years, it's not a new "trend" as many claim. very very few nonmedical systems claim medical disorders without symptoms, and those who do are generally looked down upon. nontraumagenic systems have coined terms, thought processes, communication techniques, etc that are still valuable to the plural community to this day. while i understand as a traumagenic system that your initial reaction to someone having parts/headmates/facets/etc without the trauma that caused you to have it may feel frustrating and unfair, pause for a second. think about it. youre not in their brain. you simply cannot tell them or prove to them that their experiences are unreal or fake. who are we to go around regulating real peoples lived experiences?

comparing the wide range of plural experiences to people trying to claim disorders without symptoms (something that i just clarified is not accepted in the plural community) is a bad faith comparison. plurals do not (or at least should not, and are looked down upon if they do) claim experiences their body does not have, including race, disability, and trauma status. trans-ids actively go against this. thats the disgusting part. thats the upsetting part. that someone is claiming something debilitating and/or that comes with real world challenges without truly having those experiences. but that should not be conflated with the plural community, which, once again, does not accept those who claim these things

radqueer is an easy one - dont be fucking weird and ship children, siblings, animals, etc. that literally has nothing to do with plurality. thats fully just a bad faith take there

[bridgyrose]

RWBY Newspaper, but it's inside Weiss' Ice Queendom dream world. Weiss wants to keep Ruby and Blake close to her, and thus has captured them.

Ruby stared at the door in front of her as she tried to open it, starting to get frustrated that it wouldnt open. All that preparation to get into Weiss’s dream, delicate planning to make sure she could get the information she needed to figure out how to save her, and here she was, stuck in a mockup of the dorm room, unable to fulfill her quest all because of a door. She instinctively reached for her scythe, pausing when she didnt feel it. “Great, just great…” 

She sat down on the bottom bunk closest to her and leaned back, staring up at the top bed as she tried to figure out a way out. Sure, she could use a coin to call Shion for advice, but she didnt want to waste any coins like she did the first time around. Then, it hit her: the door she created by the tracks should still be there. She quickly pulled out her scroll, relieved that there was still service and called both Blake and Yang hoping they’d pick up. 

Blake was the first to answer, a sigh of relief coming out of her. “Ruby! Where are you?” 

“I”m stuck somewhere that looks like our dorm. What about you and Yang?” 

“I havent seen Yang and I’m not exactly sure where I am. It looks like a bedroom, though the door’s locked.” 

“Same here.” Ruby sighed and sat up as she looked around the dorm room once more. “Any idea where Yang ended up?” 

“Not a clue,” Blake answered back. “Though something tells me our dream counterparts may have ended up in a bit more trouble since the last time you were here.” 

“But what could I… we-” Ruby paused for a moment as she heard footsteps outside the door and the key inserted into the lock. She continued in a whisper, speaking quickly. “I have to go!” 

“Wait Ruby-” 

Ruby hung up the call and put her scroll away as the door opened. She put up a quick smile as she watched the nightmare Weiss walk in, slowly standing up. “Weiss.” 

“Ruby,” the nightmare Weiss said as she shut the door behind her. “I see you werent harmed.” 

“Thankfully, but I”m still not sure-” Ruby stopped in the middle of her sentence as she felt Weiss kiss her, freezing as she tried to process what was happening. She finally pulled away and looked Weiss over. “What… what was that?” 

“I’m glad you’re okay.” The nightmare Weiss pulled her arm closer to her chest and looked down. “This felt like the only way I could keep you safe from Father. If he ever found out I fell for a commoner, I’m sure he’d make sure I’d never see you again.” 

Ruby smiled a bit, then looked away. “I… I think I understand. But if we can find Blake, then we can change things.” 

“I… cant let you go after Blake.” 

Ruby hesitated as she watched the shy smile change to a distraught look, the nightmare Weiss’s hand gripping her arm tighter. “What do you mean? We can find her and get you out of here-” 

“And then you’ll both leave me.” 

“We would never leave you.” 

“I’ve heard that one before. First it was that you’d never leave me, but the moment I had to start taking control of Atlas for myself, you left. You all left. And then Blake… I cant let her or you go. At least, not yet.” 

Ruby took a deep breath and stepped forward to the nightmare Weiss, putting a hand on her arm. “Weiss, where is Blake? You… you love her too, right? Like you love me? You can tell me where she is and we can help free you-” 

“Or you’ll betray me!” The nightmare Weiss pushed Ruby away and brought her rapier to her chest, pressing the tip against her. “If I let her go, she’ll join with the White Fang! She’ll bring them in to destroy everything I’m trying to protect!” 

“And you know that’s not true!” Ruby gripped the nightmare Weiss’s wrist with both hands, wincing as she felt the point of the rapier pressing harder into her. “I can bring her here, show you that you can trust her and me. We wont leave you.” 

The nightmare Weiss frowned and pulled away. “If Father finds out you’re still here, then he’ll make sure that I dont see you anymore. And I refuse to risk losing either of you to him.” 

Ruby could only stand in place as she watched the door close and lock on her once more. She sighed and dug in her jacket for a coin and flipped it into the air to create a door back to the railway and outside the city. “I’ll find Blake and Yang on my own, and then we’ll rescue you.” She opened the door she created and stepped through, feeling her own heart ache as she left Weiss in the nightmare Atlas. “And once we rescue you, I think its time we had a long talk. Just me, you, and Blake.”

[ladywaffles]

o dearest lamblord: ilsa faust + either 3 or 33 from the hand holding list, please! and feel free to dial up the angst if mood strikes >:)

thank you darling :D i hope i delivered >:)

spoilers for mi7 under the cut!

cold hands in warm hands + bandaging the other's hand and not quite letting go

send me a list, a number, and a mission: impossible pairing!

Of all the people to come to their rescue at the eleventh hour, she never suspected it would be Brandt.

He didn’t like her, from what she could tell of the few interactions she had with him, but he respected Ethan and had more connections than the IMF would care to admit from his time working under Hunley at the CIA.

It’s Brandt, of all people, who comes to the rescue via courier and provides them another safe house, where they’re able to spend a few precious hours licking their wounds in Venice.

Ethan and Benji leave her on the bridge. They usher Grace away to rest under Luther’s watchful, wizened eye. Ilsa waits another full hour before she stumbles away like a tourist drunk on la dolce vita; her appearance is certainly messy enough for it, at this time of night.

It’s not until she’s stumbling into a sinking bell tower that she collapses, back pressed against an aging wood door as she cries. Not twelve hours ago, she was smiling on a rooftop in Venice with Ethan at her side, the picture of a perfect couple on a European tour.

Now, she’s losing him again.

“Hey, hey? Are you okay?”

Hands on her shoulders, fingers under her chin. Probes looking for broken bones or bleeding wounds, a flash of concern in green eyes far too familiar with the sensation.

Ilsa falls into Ethan’s arms and lets him take the lead. He guides her to a plush, if somewhat dusty, settee and sits down with her.

“Are you okay?” he repeats.

“I’m fine,” she sighs, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I’m fine, I’m okay, I just—I hate this.”

Ethan smiles sadly. “I know.”

In those horrible hours in Kashmir while they waited for Ethan to wake up, Julia took her aside and told her to beware of Ethan Hunt.

“He’ll break your heart and smile while doing it,” she said fondly. “And he��ll have no idea what he’s done, because the only thing he wants is the best for you, even if it means shattering his own heart into pieces in the process.”

“You sound like you speak from experience,” Ilsa replied.

Julia smiled the same smile that Ethan wears now, and it’s no wonder they were married, because they’re two sides of the same coin. “Why do you think I let him go? Ethan’s too good for the likes of this world. He loves so much, and so deeply, and he doesn’t realize that he wears his heart on his sleeve, because that’s just how he lives. Take care of him, please, but for you,” she trailed off and squeezed Ilsa’s hand. “I’ve been in your place before. I know what it’s like. Don’t forget to take care of yourself, too.”

“You’re freezing.” Ethan wraps his coat around her, then his arms, holding her as she stops shaking.

“Lying on a bridge in the middle of the night in Venice will do that to you,” she tries to joke, but it falls flat. “Where’s Benji?”

“He went to check in with Luther and Grace. He’ll be back in an hour or so.”

Ethan takes her hand, and he was right; he’s warmer than she is right now, and holding his hand feels like walking into a warm home, with a fire going and dinner on the table. Her knuckles are skinned and red from her fight with Gabriel. Ethan reaches over and grabs a black pouch out of his bag, then pulls out gauze, antiseptic, and a topical antibiotic.

He carefully cleans each scrape on her hand, sure not to miss even the smallest of nicks, then dots ointment on them and dresses the wounds. He doesn’t let go of her for a moment, working with only one hand at a time. It takes much longer, but they both know the sands in the hourglass are running low, and these may be the last moments they share together for the foreseeable future. She won’t begrudge him this.

They stay wrapped around each other until the sun starts to peek above the canals and Benji returns. Time waits for no man, not even the mythical Ethan Hunt.

It’s time to say goodbye. Time for her to die again and run to the farthest corners of the globe while Ethan, and Benji, and Luther, the closest thing she has to a family left, risk life and limb to do what she could not, to stop Gabriel and prevent the next world war.

“I—” she starts, but the words get caught in her throat.

I’m sorry.

I wish we had more time.

I’m coming with you.

“I’ll see you again,” Ethan promises.

She steadfastly blinks away her tears. “You better hurry, or you’ll miss that plane,” she tells him.

It’s a terrible joke, a horrible thing to say when her name is what it is, but it makes the corners of Ethan’s mouth turn up just a smidge, and that makes it all worth it.

He squeezes her hand one last time. Benji is waiting for him in the speedboat already. He needs to go and save the world now, and she can’t go with him.

“Here’s looking at you, kid.”

And then he’s gone.