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doiedreams · 4 years ago

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A Cozy Christmas Eve // w.lc

Brought to you by the Walking in a Winter Wonderland collaboration hosted by @suh-insane and @neocitybynight

◈⇢ Synopsis: With only a very limited amount of time, you and bf!Lucas prepare to have your parents over for a Christmas Eve visit, but after all the stress, the day ends in a cozy evening of Christmas movies, hot cocoa, and cuddles

◈⇢ Prompt: “Put that cookie down. NOW!”

◈⇢ Genre: fluff ద

◈⇢ Pairing: reader x bf!lucas

◈⇢ Wc: 2.3k

◈⇢ Warnings: none

Lucas’s full attention is captured by the wintry white snowscape in his view. Bright-eyed and mouth agape, Lucas calls out to you. “Woah… Y/n, come look! It snowed so much last night.”

The excitement in his voice lures you out of your room, toothbrush still between your lips, as you see Lucas with his hands and nose pressed up against the cold glass of the window. You giggle seeing how his actions reflect that of an amazed child seeing snow for the first time. When you approach him, you tap his shoulder, silently requesting that he move out of the way. The moment you step in front of the window, the bright white view blinds you. Considering you woke up not too long ago, the radiance was harsh on your eyes, causing you to squint momentarily before fully being able to take in the view.

The pretty sight incites a muffled gasp from you. Blankets upon blankets of snow cover the ground, presenting little to no color contrast between it, and the grey wintery sky. The rooftops of the houses across from your home are also coated with snow, while their perimeters are draped with thin icicles varying in size. Color can only be found on the holiday decorations scattering the lawns of your neighbors’ homes or the occasional evergreen shrubs nearby. Besides that, it is a white winter indeed.

“It’s so pretty,” you say after taking your toothbrush out. “Okay, we have a long day ahead of us so let me finish getting ready and we can start cleaning up, alright?”

Lucas turns from the window to face you and says, “but it’s already clean.”

“Clean? Lucas, it’s so messy in here. Look around.”

He faces the room, not too disheveled, but surely not in its tidiest state. Magazines of holiday decor and Christmas meal recipes almost covered the entire glass coffee table. Some opened pages had brown ring stains on the wrinkly paper where a couple of hot cocoa mugs, now empty, had sat the night prior. Half of the throw blanket rests on the ground while the other half is slowly slipping off of the couch. Needless to say, it was a bit of a mess.

Turning back to you, he says, “We can clean this up easily. It'll take us… like, 20 minutes?”

Your eyes widened, wondering what makes him think the two of you could fully prepare your house for your parents’ visit in such a short amount of time. “That’s just impossible. There's a lot more to do than to tidy up this room. Plus, anytime I tell you we have to clean you get distracted in about five minutes and leave all the dirty work to me.”

“Do I?” Lucas asks as if this is something he's never noticed.

“You do, but not this time. It's gonna be a team effort and we're gonna get it done as soon as we can, alright?”

Lucas crosses his arms and lifts his chin as though he’s already completed the tasks he's meant to finish. “I’m at your service, m’lady. Where do you want me?”

Laughing at his newfound determination, you tell him, “Well, how about you start by clearing off that table while I finish getting ready.”

While still in his triumphant stance, he gives you a forceful nod before he goes to the table and picks up the empty mugs to place on the sink, and gets started with cleaning. Although you suspect his focus will only last for a little while, you appreciate the effort he’s putting in now. And hopefully, by the time you come back, some progress would be made.

“Ta-da!”

Upon entering the room, you’re met with a completely different atmosphere than before. The coffee table was no longer cluttered with papers and mugs, the sofa’s decorative pillows were placed comfortably at its corners, and Lucas even managed to turn on the fireplace which hadn’t worked in months. If you were to add a few more decorations, the room could’ve been featured in one of the holiday decor magazines he had set aside.

“Lucas- You did all of this?” you asked, gaping at the cleanliness of the room.

He breaks out of his jazz hands and nods. “Yes. I did.” The accomplished grin on his face made it clear that he was proud of his work.

“I’m impressed!” you say with a smile. You thank him for what he’s done and pull out your phone to check the time. “Okay. We have like a couple more hours before my parents start on their way. Oh, but it’s supposed to snow even harder by then...”

You look out the window, noting that the driveway is already covered in snow from last night’s snowfall. “Would you mind shoveling the snow out of the driveway while I clean the rest of the house?”

“I can do that,” Lucas replies while making his way to the door to get his coat.

“Perfect. While you do that, I’ll finish getting the rest of the place ready and I can start making cookies.”

He agrees and you part ways, leaving Lucas to conquer the heaps of snow while you make sure the house is in perfect order in time for the visit.

Once the rooms are all neat and tidy, you move to the kitchen and look for all the ingredients you’ll need to make a couple batches of tasty Christmas cookies. Humming and swaying to the Christmas classics playing in the background, you make the cookie dough, tasting small bits of it against your better judgment. You turn the oven on to let it preheat and take out metal cookie cutters of various holiday theme shapes including a Christmas tree, a candy cane, a gingerbread man, and a snowman. All of which would add a fun touch of festivity to your cookie batches.

While the cute shapes of dough undergo its transformation in the oven, you look out the window and catch sight of Lucas’ figure wrapped in his large, puffy, winter parka, waddling around in the snow like a penguin with his head hidden under the faux fur hood. From the way he shuffles the snow around his feet aimlessly, he seems to have lost his shovel. Seeing him in his own little world causes a giggle to rise from your chest until you become worried he’ll lose his footing and hit the ground due to the lack of friction underneath his sneakers. Perhaps you should have reminded him to put on his snow boots.

The thin high-pitched beep coming from behind you rouses you from your thoughts and you shift your attention back to the cookies in the oven that are now producing a sweet aroma filling up the kitchen. As soon as you open it, a warm sugary scent wafts from the heated compartment, reaching your nostrils. Placing the sheet of cookies on the countertop, you figure Lucas would want to help decorate them, so you let them cool until he gets back.

As you lean against the countertop, delving in the Christmas music and delicious fragrance consuming the room’s atmosphere, a gust of icy air enters and brushes against your leg, following the sound of the front door opening and closing. You hear Lucas sniff and groan once he comes in. You’re suddenly reminded of all the time and effort you put into cleaning the floor while he was gone and your eyes widen as you rush out of the kitchen.

“Lucas, wait! Did you-”

The squeak coming from Lucas’s wet shoes stops you mid-sentence and with the words leaving your mouth, you freeze. In front of you, Lucas is huffing warm air into his hands, oblivious to the small piles of snow at his feet and the trails of melted ice he’s tracked in. Letting your head fall into your hands, you groan, rubbing your temples as if to alleviate the stress that has just been added to your plate.

“The driveway’s all clear,” you hear Lucas say between sniffs. With a sigh, you shut your eyes and nod, approaching him to take off his coat for him and hang it up.

“Well, now I have to clean this up too,” you say as you let out yet another sigh.

Lucas’s mouth forms an ‘O’ shape upon realizing what he’s just done. You’re already rushing to find a rag to wipe up the mess.

“Baby, I’m sorry. I can help you out if you want,” he says, looking for a way to undo his mess.

Frustration evident in your tone, you say, “No, it’s fine. Move.”

You get on your knees beside his legs and hurriedly wipe the floor with a cloth, occasionally glancing at the clock which only builds your sense of urgency. Time is running out and this extra task is not ideal.

“Y/n,” Lucas starts. “Let me help.”

“I don’t need any,” you say as you finish wiping the floor.

As you try to walk past him, Lucas holds you by the shoulder and pulls you back into him. The tension in your muscles starts to melt away at his touch and you allow him to hold you against his body. The last thing you want to do is project your frustration onto the one person that makes you feel at peace through it all.

“It’ll be okay, we still have time,” he reassures you.

You know he’s trying to comfort you, and it’s working as always, but you know that in reality, you don’t have much time before your parents are on their way.

He kisses your cheek and says, “Now, what is that delicious smell?”

“Cookies.” You giggle at the bright smile on his face at the mention of the yummy Christmas treats. “Wanna decorate ‘em with me?” you ask. He’s already pulling you towards the kitchen before you can even finish the question.

“Okay! I think everything’s perfect.” You set the tray of freshly decorated sugar cookies on the table. You roam around the room listing off the tasks you’ve completed. “The bathrooms are clean, the kitchen is clean, the mirrors and windows are wiped down, the driveway is- Lucas!”

You snap your attention back at the boy with a star-shaped cookie in hand, held up to his opened mouth, ready to be eaten. Frozen, he peers over at you, caught in the act.

“Put that cookie down. NOW!”

Lucas slowly places the cookie back on the tray, and sighs softly before taking a seat at the table with his head hung low, as if he’s put himself in ‘time-out’.

Your attention is captured by the ring-tone coming from your cell phone.

“Oh my gosh, they must be on their way,” you say before picking up.

“Hi, my dear,” your mother’s familiar voice gives you a taste of home as soon as you hear it.

“Hi! Are you on your way?” you ask, hopeful.

“I hate to come bearing bad news, but it seems like we won’t be able to make it.”

A disappointed sigh leaves your lips as you think of all the work you’ve done to get the place ready for your parents’ visit. It would’ve been nice to see them again, especially in the holiday spirit, and enjoy quality time together. Your shoulders slouch as your mood drops listening to your mother explain that they’re snowed in for the night. They can’t come.

“They’re not coming?” Lucas asks once you hang up the phone.

You shake your head in response and slump into a chair at the table next to him. Sighing, you prop your elbows on the table, resting your head in your hands, and close your eyes, letting yourself enjoy a moment of calm. Your little moment is brought to an end when you feel a tickle at your bottom lip. Opening your eyes, you see an iced sugar cookie held up to your mouth.

“Taste it.” Your eyes shift upward to Lucas’s cheeky grin. You comply and take a bite out of the cookie. Eyelids fluttering shut in delight, you hum at the deliciousness of the cookie in your mouth. “Is it good?” he asks.

“Perfect,” you giggled.

He takes a bite of the cookie himself and says, “Let’s put on our pajamas,” with his mouth full. “Why? It’s not even late.”

Although the time indicates that it’s only around 5:30 pm, the darkness outside makes it seem a lot later than it really is.

“Looks like nighttime to me,” he says, pointing towards the window.

“Okay, I guess.” He takes you by the hand and pulls you up from your seat, ushering you towards the bedroom where you can get dressed in your matching fleece pajama sets. In the warmth of your pajamas, you and Lucas decide to make the very best out of this Christmas Eve. While Lucas turns on How the Grinch Stole Christmas, you make hot chocolate in the kitchen and pour yourselves a couple mugs. You top it off with whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and a candy cane leaning against the rim, adding a hint of festive cheer. Bringing the hot cocoa and tray of Christmas cookies, you join Lucas on the sofa, who didn’t bother to wait for you before starting the movie. Crystals of ice fall down the sky outside the window while the crackle and pop of the fireplace keeps you cozy inside. Lucas drapes a fleece blanket over your laps as the mugs of hot cocoa in your hands keep you warm. He wraps his arm around you, bringing you closer in, and places a sweet kiss on your cheek. Although you’d gone through so much stress during the day, to be able to comfortably relax in the warmth of Lucas’ embrace made it all worth it.

a/n: Merry Christmas! And to those that don’t celebrate it, much love regardless ♡

Proofread by: @hunjins @danishmiilk @crownily thank you guys so so much ♡

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pastelbatfandoms · 4 years ago

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ABCs of your OCs

A list of oc questions in alphabetical categories - i made each category based on the first word I could think of in alphabetical order, so enjoy!

Decided to try and answer these using Gifs and Images of My characters (aka who or what reminds me of My character)

.Doing this for My OC Michelle Riley in My Riverdale Fic.

Michelle is “played by” Ksenia Solo (Teen) & Kaya Scodelario (Young Adult)

A: Aptitude 1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young? Writing,solving Mysteries,has always had an interest in the occult and anything different and unusual.

2. what activities have they participated in? Michelle is a bit of a Loner but she has done Cheer and writes Poetry in her spare time as well as mysteries. She also was a camp counselor & Lifeguard with Betty and Cheryl over the summer.

3. what abilities do they have? She’s human but Michelle knows a bit of Karate and was taught how to fight by FP.

4. what things are they bad at? Being Honest,Indecisive,

5. what is their most impressive talent? Writing and Dancing

B: Basics 1. what is their hair color? Dark brown. Dies Black or wears Blond wigs.

2. what is their eye color? Brown but wears Light green or blue contacts

3. how tall are they? A little shorter than Jughead

4. how old are they? 15 (Story start) 19 (Story end) October 7 2000

5. how much do they weigh?

C: Comfort 1. how do they sit in a chair? Usually leaning forward.

2. in what position do they sleep?

3. what is their ideal comfort day? Reading or watching TV,eating,doing something creative,learning new things (especially about the occult or conspiracy theories),writing poetry,mainly being by herself on her down time.Although she’s an ambivert so she does like hanging out with her BF or Friends after her alone time.

4. what is their major comfort food? um Anything lol She’s literally a female Jughead in more ways than one. Burgers and fries,Milkshakes,Pancakes,Chips and salsa...

5. who is the best at comforting them when down? Betty or Mom. Most of the time Jughead. (unless it’s about him)

D: Decoration 1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name? Minimalistic with plants,charming and attractive yet simple and comfortable. Small neighborhood.

2. how would they decorate their child’s room? Michelle doesn’t want kids

3. how do they decorate their own room? Shabby Chic,Girly mixed with rustic. With of course darker undertones.

4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear? Goth,Grunge,Edgy,had a preppy phase. (Casual Artsy in Middle school)

5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends? Yes.

E: External Personality 1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality? Sometimes. She’s not as tough as she portrays.

2. do they do things that conform to the norm? Sometimes. If on her own.

3. do they follow trends or do their own thing? No

4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads? Only E-Girl and Mod Goth.

5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own? Is shy at first.

F: Fun 1. what do they do for fun? Shopping,Dancing,hanging out at Pop Tates Malt Shop,Drive in movies,Art,watching Horror movies,writing poetry,Solving Mysteries,going out to a club or the biker bar The White Wyrm.

2. what is their ideal party? See Above. Dancing,Strobe lights,Band,Underage Drinking/Sex. Unless she’s 18 or 19 then. Decorating for parties and liked having Clue inspired Sleepovers in middle school.

3. who would they have the most fun with? Her girls. B,V & C.

4. can they have fun while conforming to rules? When alone yes.

5. do they go out a lot? Yes.

G: Gorgeous 1. what is their most attractive external feature? Her eyes and smile.

2. what is the most attractive part of their personality?

3. what benefits come with being their friend?

4. what parts of them do they like and dislike?

5. what parts of others do they envy? IDK if I’m going to finish this.

H: Heat 1. do they rather a hot or cold room?

2. do they prefer summer or winter? Spring and Fall

3. do they like the snow? Not really.

4. do they have a favorite summer activity? Thrift Shopping and Sleuthing

5. do they have a favorite winter activity? Reading inside or Sleuthing.

I: In-the-closet

1. what is their sexuality? Pan Sexual

2. have they ever questioned their sexuality? yes

3. have they ever questioned their gender? No

4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT? Yes they are very open minded.

5. how long would/did it take for them to come out? High School

J: Joy 1. what makes them happy? Art,writing,shopping,mysteries,love,music.

2. who makes them happy? Her Family (Blood and none)

3. are there any songs that bring them joy? Wow I have a whole playlist...

4. are they happy often? More or less

5. what brings them the most joy in the world?

K: Kill 1. have they ever thought about suicide? I don’t write that. They may have dark thoughts but never act on them,this is not 13 reasons why.

2. have they ever thought about homicide? No

3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who? No

4. who would miss them if they died? Um all her Friends and Family

5. who would be happy they died, anyone? Penny Peabody lbr

L: Lemons 1. what is their favorite fruit? 2. what is their least favorite fruit?

3. are there any foods they hate?

4. do they have any food intolerances?

5. what is their favorite food? Already said. She also really likes Chicken with chips and salsa.

M: Maternal

1. would they want a daughter or a son?

2. how many children do they want?

3. would they be a good parent?

4. what would they name a son?

what would they name a daughter?

5. would they adopt? Possibly

N: Never Have I Ever

1. what would they never do? Kill Innocents.

2. what have they never done that they want to do?

3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do? People do alot of shitty things. Killing Kids and animals would be one of them.

4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done?

5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do? Um get drunk and sleep with her boyfriends Dad??...Or cheat on Jug with Veronica. SPOILERS! But I probably won’t finish this story lbh.

O: Optimism 1. are they optimistic or pessimistic? Both

2. are they openly optimistic?

3. are they good at giving advice? Yes

4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them? Throws lol I suppose her Mom or Betty.

5. were they always optimistic?

>>>P: Personality 1. what is their best personality trait?

2. what is their worst personality trait?

3. what of their personality do others love?

4. what of their personality do others envy?

5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?

<<<Will do this later

Q: Questions 1. do they ask for help? Sometimes

2. do they ask questions in class? She did yes,when she was trying to be a straight A student.

3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable? Yes

4. do they ask weird questions? Yes

5. are they curious? Yes

R: Rules 1. do they follow rules? Sometimes.

2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent? A good balance.

3. have they ever been consequences for breaking a rule?

4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking?

5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous? Nope

S: Streets 1. are they street-smart? Yes

2. would they give money to someone on the streets? Probably

3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets? Yes

4. has anything happened to them on the streets? Other then Fights,no.

5. are they cautious when out? Now yes,but she can take care of herself.

T: Truth 1. are they honest? More so now yes.

2. can they tell if someone is lying? Yes

3. is it obvious when they’re lying? Yes

4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about? Sleeping with FP

5. have they ever been talked about behind their back? I’m sure.

U: Underdog 1. have they been bullied? A couple times but they stopped once she stood her ground,same with standing up for others (like Jughead)

2. have they bullied anyone? No

3. have they been physically attacked? Yes

4. have they ever been doubted? Yes.

5. have they surprised people with being good at something? Yes,alot of Guys (and girls) underestimate her.

V: Vomit 1. do they vomit often? 2. do they get lots of stomach aches? 3. are they good at comforting someone ill? 4. what do they like as far as comfort goes? 5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting?

W: Water 1. do they drink enough water? 2. have they learned to swim? 3. do they like to swim? 4. can they dive? 5. can they swim without holding their nose?

X: Xylophone 1. what is their favorite genre of music? Oldies,Indie & Goth Rock

2. do they have a favorite song? Prince-Die 4 U

3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer? The Cure,Prince & The Neighborhood.

4. can they sing well? Sure

5. can they rap? No

Y: You 1. how old were you when you created them? It was in 2017.

2. what inspired you to create them? Watching Riverdale for the first time

3. were they different when they were first created? No

4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters? No

5. what’s your favorite thing about them? Her style and sarcasm.

Z: Zebra 1. what’s their favorite animal? Cats and Dogs

2. do they like animals? Yes

3. cats or dogs? Both

4. what’s their dream pet? Panther or Dragon

5. do they have any pets at the moment? Shares a Sheepdog/Mutt with The Serpents,named Hot Dog.

#riverdale fanfiction #mughead #My OC #gif survey #oc survey

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szopenhauer · 4 years ago

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If someone has bad breath, do you tell him or her? doubtful, I don’t wanna hurt anyone, it’s awkward and a lot of ppl can’t change how they smell

Do you have an item that comforts you when you are sad/scared? used to have one special object, I still hold it sometimes, I suppose I might again at night from Friday to Saturday

When are you likely to hide your emotions? when I’m face to face with an authority figure like boss, teacher or doctor, policeman too but I never been in a situation like this with them, I also hide my emotions from abusers at times to not show I’m afraid of them and to not provoke them more as well

Which is scarier: Dying of thirst or of starvation? I guess starvation as it takes longer

Have you ever tried to help someone quit smoking? it’s their decision to smoke, I don’t approve but I won’t get involved, I can only avoid them

Have you ever had to talk anyone out of suicide? self harm more likely, I mean... I was talking with suicidal people about them wanting to kill themselves but never at the moment when they were doing it so I don’t know if that counts

When you think of tomorrow, what feelings come to mind? packing, last day with my parents before I go to the hospital

What is the last thing you complained about? probably health related issues

What was the last curse-word you said? kurwa

When you fake sick to get out of school, what do you say or do to convince your parents that you are sick? I don’t fake sick, I might exaggerate but I won’t lie, I don’t want to worry my parents and because I’m chronicall ill I often was going to school even though I didn’t felt like it

Do you still talk to your very first best friend? no

When was the last time something went terribly wrong? basically everything goes wrong

How do you console someone when he or she is upset? depends

Choose one: Trip to outerspace, or trip underneath the oceans? no thx

How often do you feel overwhelmed? all the damn time

How do you deal with everyday life? poorly

Who in your family do you act like the most? my dad

What is the most romantically sweet thing someone has done for you? my gf is doing many sweet things

Have you ever been confronted by a mall cop for your behavior? I’ve never been confronted by the store guard - elseway I would never go back there out of anxiety

Is there someone that makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? my mom

Were you ever afraid of one of your past teachers? sorta XD

Have you ever been in a physical fight on school grounds? I was attacked but I didn’t fight back so...

A homeless man asks you for 50 cents; how do you respond? dunno

When was the last time you visited a thrift store? recently

Can you handle constructive criticism? I can’t handle any criticism :(

Who is the most sensitive person that you know? me?...

When was the last time you wrote someone a note? few days ago

Do you tell your parents before you go somewhere, or just leave? I always tell

What was the last thing you tried to get out of doing? not sure what was last hmm...

Which season do you dread the most? winter

Is there a foreign culture you’d like to learn more about? maybe

Have you ever seen a famous painting and thought “I could have done that?” abstract art

What is the scariest thing about attending your school? which one?

Are you a good judge of other people’s intentions? I got better with time

Shopping: best with friends, parents, bf/gf, or alone? depends

When was the last time someone told you to turn your music down? my mother sometimes asks me to because she has migraines

When you don’t know how to spell a word, do you look it up? not always *ashamed*

Are you one to spend a lot of time in the bathroom? nope but I’m the one that often goes to the bathroom

Do you ever consider the challenges other races go through? sure

When was the last time you doubted your abilities? I have... abilities? :o

What was the last thing you wished for? health... not gonna happen tho :(

How many times a day, on average, do you look at the time? several, when I wake up then when I eat and between meals and then when I go to sleep and in the middle of the night if I go to pee

Where do you first remember living? I never moved

First fandom? woah I don’t remember

First otp/ship? neither

How old were you when you first when on a plane? -

What was your first tattoo? -

Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? show - She-ra, movie - A lot like love

Did you lose your virginity before you were sixteen? nooo

How many purses do you own? too many lol Are you bi? am not Who was your prom date? I never had one, I didn’t go to prom

Who was the last person to see you cry? parent[s]

Have you ever been used? yep

Do you like when girl takes you by surprise and kisses you? I like consent but... those were the best kisses ^^’’

Have you ever gone for someone despite knowing they were bad for you? I didn’t think about the future nor that I deserve love What kind of gift can win you over? what do you mean by WIN ME OVER? Are diamonds really a girls best friend? not mine, I don’t care for diamonds

Have you ever dated someone with a child? no way Have you ever dated someone shorter than you? Sarah was shorter

Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? my parents and my current partner

What sound is annoying you right now? it’s quiet :3

What gives you a peaceful feeling? sleep?

Would you rather live in the city, suburbs or the country? country

Are you more of a maker and giver, or a taker and user? taker and user I suppose

Do you buy holiday gifts early or at the last minute? early

If someone else were to describe you what would you hope they would say? the truth

Do you think it is harder for a parent to outlive their child or for the child to outlive their parent? parent to outlive the child because it’s not common

When do you do your best thinking? evening/night

What was a choice that you didn’t want to make but you had to? majority of decisions are smth I’d prefer not to make

What age do you think it is most difficult to be? to each their own

Do you think you could handle a day in jail? who knows

Have you ever been on a trampoline? I have not

Do you pretend to be something you’re not to make friends? I’m being myself and that’s why I’m friendless :P

Are you more of a shy or outgoing person? I’m introverted antisocial and a loner but I’m not shy, I can be loud and talkative

Are you more of an athlete or artist? artist Are you the type to procrastinate? I put PRO in procrastination Do you believe that you’ll always be a kid at heart? ;) What is something you want to improve on this year? health, I’m trying How many times a day do you get angry? uh oh... If you could eat any food you want right now, what would it be? personal Can you sleep with your eyes open? I’m no Gandalf

Do you still have any living grandparents? If so, how old are they? I don’t wanna talk about that

What’s your favorite computer game genre? simulations Do you have any exes your parents never liked? pfft Do you ever keep things just because they might be useful someday? we are hoarders

Are you frequently in a bad mood? sorry... Do you ever fill out surveys while in a bad mood? I go through soooo many moods before I finish one survey Are you a fast or a slow eater? slowest among my friends, fastest in my house How old were you when you had your first relationship? no idea what I should call a relationship and what not Do you get dental checkups at least once a year? yup Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? mom, sister before she moved out Have you ever used chewing tobacco? tha hell? that’s disgusting!

Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who’s your buddy? not applicable Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? hat Are you putting off doing something right now? If so, what is it? drying my hair, drinking water and going to sleep mostly

Are you like me and hoard notebooks and pens? pens now, I stopped buying notebooks... oh wait... no... I just got one because I wanted to save bees, nvm... Are you sitting in front of or by a window? What can you see out there? by, it’s dark but there’s my neighbor’s house Are there any coasters on your table? If so, do they have text or pictures? flowers Do you have a song playing in your head right now, too? not really Don’t you hate it when people answer to surveys with one word answers? lame *I realized I did that myself *facepalm* Ever watched a cat or a dog sleep and run/twitch in their sleep? adorable <3 What’s something we do every day but they don’t depict in movies? it bothers me that in fantasy/sci-fi movies there are no toilets and meals are rare

Is your style feminine, masculine or somewhere in the middle? in the middle, childish yet of an old person haha Do you usually carry a backpack, a shoulder bag or something else? shoulder bag or tote Do you wear glasses? If so, have you ever tried to fix them when they’ve broken? helped my dad fix his glasses couple of times Are there a lot of dragonflies around your house? they don’t show up frequently

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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842

have you ever violated school dress code? My Catholic school had us on a very tight leash and we’d have to be crazy to dare to break the dress code over there. My university doesn’t have a dress code though and anyone entering the campus can dress up any way they want, which I’ve always been grateful for. if you are listening to music, is the singer male/female? They are five dudes. what, if anything, do you give up for Lent? I never observed Lent; and as much of a religious fanatic my mother is, I’m glad she never forced me to fast or abstain from something I liked. what phrase leads your mind directly to the gutter? 69, even though it’s childish. when you feel like giving up, how do you convince yourself not to? I just tell myself that things will get better because that seems to be the pattern all the time with me, which is a really good thing.

what are your opinions on immigration? I don’t know much about the issues and its intricacies but as an Asian, I really admire fellow Asians who don’t speak a word of English, end up in the States or somewhere similar and build themselves a better life there. It’s fucking metal. would you tell an actual immigrant your views? Sure, if the topic is raised. what was the subject of the last list you made? There was a tweet asking people to list down which YouTubers practically ~raised them~ growing up, so I joined in the fun and gave my own names. If I remember correctly I listed down Pewdiepie, Smosh, Grace Helbig, Hannah Hart, and the entire Brit crew. do you ever get nervous before interviews/important meetings? Only if it’s supposed to be crucial. Like I imagine I’d be sweating bullets for my first job interview. who pays for the majority of your belongings? My parents. would you ever willingly shop in a thrift store? Of course. There are always some great finds in them. what is the most that you would ever spend on an outfit? Assuming I’m earning my own money, I’m willing to spend around ₱5000 to ₱10,000 on a top or bottom but I can widen my wallet a lot more if we’re talking shoes, because I like them more haha. is there anything you do that just outrages your parents? I know my mom hates it whenever she pulls us for online mass and I visibly grumble. I don’t know if my dad is annoyed with anything I do; and if he feels that way he’ll tell me. I respect him a lot more so if that’s the case, I’ll actually stop whatever it is I’m doing. when was the last time you were embarrassed in public? Probably when I was brought to the hospital a month ago and the nurse was explaining to me how to take a urine test. have you ever won an award you were actually proud of? If Latin honors count, then yes. That was my only goal when I started college, and I reached it, so I’m allowing myself to be proud of, well, myself. the importance of education, rate it from 1-10, 10 as most important? 12. --- explain your choice to rate it as such? It’s different when you come from a third-world country. Education is realistically your only way out. what is the coolest science experiment you've ever done? I liked the ones that we did that involved chemicals and powders. are you experiencing difficulties with any friends right now? Not really. There’s a chance JM has been irritated with me because I always turn really grumpy when he messages me about work stuff, but if he is, at this point I don’t really care anymore because I’ve been detached from org work for a while now. I busted my ass for the org for three years so I think I’m entitled to feel detached now haha. how do you deal with a fight between yourself and a friend? I haven’t been in an argument with one of them in a while but I would prefer to talk it out. when you apologize to someone after a fight, how do you go about saying that you are sorry? I apologize and I mention the thing I did that they were hurt by, so that they feel acknowledged. In the end, I tell them that I’ll be better and if there’s anything I can do to make them feel better or to make the situation better, that they shouldn’t hesitate to let me know. have you ever played around with "dry ice"? No. Isn’t that dangerous lol? do you think parents are responsible for the actions of their children? For the most part, yes. But I know there are still some instances where parents can try and try to be understanding and be the best influences, but their kids will still end up going down the wrong path. There isn’t one answer to this, I think. should the military draft take both men AND women? why/why not? I don’t know, it’s a little complicated. I’m definitely all about equality and providing the same opportunities for men and women, but I know there’s a lot of issues on sexual harassment and assault in the military that have yet to be fixed. Until that’s ironed out and I hear change taking place, it seems a little shady to randomly pick out women to join the military. when was the last time that you corrected someone? My mom had a grammatical error in her Facebook post from yesterday so I told her what the right word to use was. when was the last time you were corrected? I set the table for breakfast today and apparently it wasn’t enough for my mom, who liked her plate to be set in a certain way. when did you last say "i told you so"? Maybe when Kate told me she had broken up with the guy she was having a thing with, lol. is there any celebrity you like to "keep up with"? Not really. I think I’m over that phase now. I’ll check up my faves from time to time, but otherwise I don’t feel the need to read daily updates on them anymore. celebrity gossip: YAY or BOO? Yay if it has substance or if it’s controversial, like a celebrity being exposed for sexual harassment; boo if it’s something stupid like “Kendall Jenner spotted eating pasta today.” what is the most life-changing book you have read? I haven’t encountered it yet. have you had a negative impact on anyone's life? I would say so. I wasn’t always the nicest kid; and I also did a shitty job handling my friendship with Sofie when we were off to college. has anyone had a negative impact on yours? who/why? Yeah. Some relatives, some teachers who didn’t know how to act like teachers, and some people I distinctly remember that bullied me when I was a kid. how will you know when you are ready to get married? I guess when I’m no longer nervous thinking about it and when I’m already 100% sure that I’m independent and capable of looking out for myself. I don’t wanna be married and still be slightly dependent on my parents, which is what a lot of young Filipino married couples end up doing. how much time have you spent contemplating your own death? A very, very good amount. is there a joke that you just can't stand? Ones that you just can’t defend and are just simply offensive, like slavery or poverty. I’ve seen a few shows where they’d refer to the Philippines being poor or being a source of child labor for laughs, and they’ve never been funny to me. have you ever read any self-help books? No, I don’t really trust those lol since they’re usually written by people from other countries who most likely have different experiences and perspectives. If I need some help I’d rather figure it out myself and hear from people that I trust, like my friends. what's your take on the obesity problem in america? It’s a serious problem, obviously. I don’t know much about it other than the fact that Americans are crazy about their fast food and that their serving sizes are ginormous. I really hope they find more ways to address it. what is something you used to love, but now greatly dislike? Journalism. what is something you used to dislike, but now like? Chicken curry, and I think spicy food in general haha. when/if you become a parent, what will you do differently, compared to how your parents raised you? I’ll be more involved. I’ll compliment them more, not invalidate their feelings, and I’ll let them talk when I do something that upsets them, and I’ll apologize to them for it.

do you equate spanking with physical abuse? would you spank a child? The way Filipino parents do it, yeah especially. They don’t just do it with their hands - spanking kids here usually involve slippers and belts. My mom forbade anyone to spank me and my siblings, but nonetheless I watched it happen to my cousins and that alone was traumatic enough for me. How much more for them?

The thing is that it can’t be assumed that kids are able to process why they’re being punished, so I think that any physical punishment to them will just drive them away from their parents, which to me makes it physical abuse. I would never spank my own kids. what's the most ridiculous thing you've done this week? Skipping out the rest of my shower because a moth came into the bathroom and started flying around me lmaoooo eugh. --- did you regret it/love it/hate it/want to do it again/etc? I fucking hated it. if your bf/gf wanted to wait until marriage for sex, would you be willing? Yes. Sex honestly isn’t really a big deal to me. when you look at the sunset, what do you think about/feel? I don’t really think when I look at the sunset. I just admire how pretty it looks and savor the quick few seconds of the sun going down. is there someone you wish you could trust/you wish was trustworthy? No? I don’t wait on people to be trustworthy, if that’s what you mean. I’m grateful for the people who are already around me that I can trust. is there anyone that you no longer want in you life? who/why? There are times I wish I could get rid of my mom so that I don’t get yelled at as much anymore and so that I don’t have anyone watching my every move so much so that I’m cautious to walk around in my own house.

how has your outlook on life changed in the past few years? I’m a lot happier and more stable this time around. I’m glad I stayed around to see the change happen. have you ever walked out of a boring movie (in theaters)? Absolutely not. Even if the movie was bad, I’d watch it through the end. Ticket prices are not to be fucked with lol. how open are you with people you know online? ...What do you think? what do you think of athletes that take steroids? Idk about other sports but that’s a big fuck no in wrestling, after it’s led to addiction, overdoses, and a lot of deaths especially in the 80s and 90s. if a celebrity is involved in scandal after scandal, is that likely to affect how you view him/her & his/her work? Depends on the scandal. I don’t mind when nudes or videos get leaked because honestly, the leakers are the assholes in that situation. But if the scandal is something like people speaking out to accuse a celebrity of racism, abuse, or harassment, then I can very much turn against that person. what is one celebrity that you have zero respect for? Amber Heard. have you ever driven under the influence of alcohol/drugs? Just slightly tipsy, but I’ve always made sure that I’m super super super aware of my surroundings in those times. I won’t drive – and I know my friends won’t allow me to – if I was even just a little dizzy. I’m always the first to start sobering up when I go out to drink because I’m usually the only one with a car and thus responsible for bringing my friends home. are you overly attached to your material possessions? For the most part, yeah. have you ever ridiculed anyone for their clothing choices? Not to their faces. living in poverty: what do you think it'd be like? I already live in a country wallowing in it. My family isn’t poor, but I see poverty on a daily basis nonetheless. No documentary or article can best explain it to anyone who has never lived in a poverty-stricken country. Pretty insensitive question btw. what is one "diet" that you think is just utterly worthless? I’m not familiar with any of them. what advice would you give someone that is uncomfortable with his or her body/appearance? I prefer not to give advice because some people don’t wanna hear it and just wanna hear reassurances and boosters. That said, I’ll just keep encouraging them and telling them that they look really good in their outfit and just making them feel valid and seen. what advice would you give someone about to start high school? Don’t be scared to make mistakes and while you should always study hard and do your best, don’t take everything seriously. It’s high school and won’t matter on your professional resume. what foreign food are you NOT interested in trying? Uhhhh this question makes no sense to me ahahaha I’m always down to try anything. what foreign country do you believe is misunderstood? I can’t speak for other countries but I know mine is pretty misunderstood. I’ve read countless testimonies of Filipinos getting condescendingly told “You speak good English for a Filipino” by white Americans, not knowing that their country conquered mine for 40ish years. That’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to misconceptons about my country and its people. have you ever felt entirely unwanted and alone? Of course. in your eyes, which is worse: rape or murder? Both are equally bad and disgusting but I’ll have to go with rape, because 1) the victim has to live with the trauma and fear for the rest of their life, 2) victims are usually too scared to speak out for fear of being judged or not being believed, and 3) victim-blaming is still a big problem today. do you understand/read shakespeare? No. When we took up Shakespeare in high school I bought the No Fear versions. would you feel comfortable living with someone that owned a gun? No. do you know anyone that lives in a foreign country? Tons.

#survey #surveys

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shijiujun · 5 years ago

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Hsiao Hao-Ting’s sexuality was always portrayed by that toxic bl trope of default heterosexuality, where the male lead will only fall for one (1) chosen man in his lifetime. No-one can replace Yu Shigu but only a girl could try? That is absolute bs and aggressively queerphobic misrepresentation of bi/pansexuality. Of course he reverts right back to dating a girl, succumbing to his homophobic parents’/society’s pressure even though Yu Shigu is the love of his life and he’s clearly not over him.

Even worse, they just Had to rub it in with his parents immediately accepting some random girl, begging him to marry her, although he and they hardly know her, when they barely came close to accepting Yu Shigu. His father might as well have applauded his death ffs. Is this really the kind of representation Asian lgbtq+ people deserve in one of the few Taiwanese shows imo, which has done them justice by not resorting to heteronormativity, fetishization, self-denial and homophobic tragedy?

(History 3: Trapped was one of the best bl shows, srsly) Although, I was most appalled by the scenes where Hsiao Hao-Ting talked to the memory of Yu Shigu. Instead of reminiscing their undying love Yu Shigu acts as if he doesn’t even remember it? Only talks about Hsiao Hao-Ting’s new freaking girlfriend and expresses his jealousy, not of the girl as would be logical, but of his widowed bf, because suddenly he has reverted to being straight as well and can’t think of anything but dating a girl?!!

(k, now I’ve been informed that he’s a doppelganger and that’s so dumbfoundingly stupid that I’m going to have to interpretively express my discontent through the means of projectile vomiting). Like how is it even possible to jump from an unapologetic romance between men to such compulsory heterosexuality, such peak heteronormativity that you decide to trash on the entire existence of the meant-to-be gay love story you spent 18 episodes building?

Sorry for spamming your inbox with discourse™, but I wish I never watched the car crash (pun intended) of the last episodes that unsubtly validate heterosexuality as the benevolent default which entails no drawbacks. Lmao they were just short of showing Xiang (sorry for misspelling earlier) Hao-Ting happy again with a wife and 3 kids. My already bitter gay self cannot accept our love literally getting run over even in the shows, which are supposedly created to celebrate it.

—————

Hi anon! Sorry for the super late reply, I read it all when you sent the ask, but I figured I’d put the asks in one reply instead and needed my laptop to do that, so now that I’m back from Taipei, I can do this! Hahaha

Don’t worry, your discourse is excellent and I suppose we all had that ‘let me write a 5000 word essay on how wrong this entire episode was’ because it honestly was some sort of mind fuckery. I’m glad they didn’t show Hao Ting with a happy family and that would have been very uncharacteristic of him considering how hung up he is over Xi Gu.

After reading the last few chapters of the novel, honestly Hao Ting has some sort of PTSD over Xi Gu’s death and I’m really not surprised. He’s so afraid and so depressed and he keeps reliving that moment over and over six years later…

I think the author of the novel wrote the alternative ending because he/she decided that the actual ending was a bullshit ending and he/she better write one happy one that actually fucking makes sense!!! And I think that ending was a hell lot better - the part about ‘making your days count’ came through even in a happy ending, and made so much more sense, and fitted the entire line of the story much better. but no we got some half assed plagiarised shit where hao ting and xi gu don’t get their happy ending.

#history3: modc #asks

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fightevilandthengetblownup · 5 years ago

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CHATS: More Dumpsters, More Fires 3

#1 - Jo and Anna talking sometime after Jo got back to the house after the collar/cast was put on (and yes the spoil is Jo suggesting what you think it is LOL)

<Anna> hows Jo?

<Jo> Jo’s okay… She got to go outside, she’s getting a little spoilt for her own good, and she’s mostly trying to ignore the never ending threat looming over head - kind of amused/looking forward to laughing at Gray’s expense whe n he figures out things

<Anna> she’s so mean and such a troll

<Jo> She really really is.

<Jo> “I call it taking joy out of the small things”

<Anna> “I call it being a bitch”

<Jo> “Not saying I’m not.”

<Anna> “I don’t like you.”

<Jo> “I’m getting that. You didn’t like me much first time around til we got drunk a lot.”

<Anna> “You..just you seem like your punishing me for things that I don’t remember and enjoying the fact that I don’t remember it and in general being mean spirited about the whole thing. If we were friends, this isn’t how friends act or at least how I was taught how friends act.”

<Jo> “Well, I’m sorry if it seems that way - that’s honestly not what I’m intending. I’m just… playing around, Anna. It’s what I do, and most of the time you wouldn’t get upset by it - give it back or smack me upside the head. I’m not exactly from the same background as you,especially not now..”

<Anna> “I don’t know you now! And you know this, this is why you come across as enjoing it because you keep doing it on purpose! I don’t know if you enjoy seeing me upset or angry but it’s just mean.”

<Jo> “Well I’m /sorry/! It’s a little hard for me to wrap my head around that this person I’ve known for over a year is /suddenly/ someone completely different. And no, I don’t. I would have a week ago, but right now? I don’t.”

<Anna> “How do you think it feels for me? To wrap my head around the idea that for a year I’ve just been bar tending and trying to find myself again after my parents were killed and now I’m hearing that I’m this total other person who is supposed to be me!”

<Jo> “…right. …… ….I shouldn’t play around like that should I? I was just pranking you Anna, I get bored cooped up in a room - especially when I really don’t want to be. I was kidding around - the only things that, yeah, are true are about the guy you’ve sort of been with. I was just mucking about, too much day time television.”

<Anna> “It’s okay..I just..I’m frustrated and confused and I was sort of glad to hear that I had a friend and then you just turn out like this and sad.”

<Jo> “…Sorry. I didn’t think you’d take me seriously, was a little farfetched on my part. …I didn’t mean to upset you; I’m not exactly good at the people thing and we are friends, Anna. Usually you just see through my joking around..”

<Anna> “Give me some time to get to know you and I will again..probably..maybe..”

<Jo> “Probably.. Still, I didn’t mean to upset you and I apologise for that..”

<Anna> “It’s alright..and I’m sorry for calling you a bitch…repeatedly”

<Jo> “Don’t worry, that’s pretty accurate most of the time.”

<Anna> “Do you need anything? I don’t mind bringing stuff by to you.”

<Jo> “I, uh…I get pretty well taken care of - stuff wise. Though, I wouldn’t mind getting to get out sometimes actually. The, uh, um… my company is a bit of a homebody, so if you wanted to swing by, go out and do something would be better, maybe.”

<Anna> “Are you able to walk like that?”

<Jo> “A little ways. If it weren’t for the hands I’d be trying to drive myself honestly.”

<Anna> “I could drive if you have a car.”

<Jo> “…you don’t know how amusing that is.”

<Anna> “Um..right..wreck ..you probably don’t want me driving.”

<Jo> “Nah, it’s more amusing you were unsure if I had one. …hunter. Car is kind of a necessecity.”

<Anna> “Oh..right..well just let me know when you want to go out and I can walk to your place if you give me a addy.”

<Jo> “I do-.. um, I, uh… …yeah, I.. think I could, um, do that… The address, yes, I can, um.. I think Harry knows it, I don’t really …know it know it… And I will. I will definitely.”

<Anna> “You..don’t know where you live? I’m the one with the head injury here.”

<Jo> “It.. it’s not that. It’s a little more complicated than that.. I.. can’t really give out my address much. Because, um… you can’t tell any of the other hunter’s about the place. I come to them, not the other way around. They’re… Grey doesn’t really.. well, I don’t give out my address often so I- the end of West 5th street.”

<Anna> “Okay. I’ll be over there as soon as I go scribble that down on the walls of the men’s restroom. ‘Hunters, if you are looking for Jo or a good time, come to the end of West 5th street.’”

<Jo> “Oh god, don’t even..! And how would you know if I were a good time?!”

<Anna> “You said that we were together and it was more than once so it must have been something good about it.”

<Jo> “And I said I watched too many soapies. Unless you’re wanting to have walked on the wild side with me… in which cause I’ll have you know I’ve got nothing but rave reviews.”

<Anna> *Anna coughs*

<Jo> “…but still, I doubt anyone looking for a good time would be dumb enough anyway. Have to go through Grey first.”

<Anna> “Possessive bf I’m guess..”

<Jo> “Not so much possessive as…. uh…”

<Anna> “So the collar isn’t a sign of that at all?”

<Jo> “Well, that wasn’t put on by him. It’s a long story.”

<Anna> “Okay…”

<Jo> “It’s a… challenge. By someone else. How long I can keep it on without freaking out… Grey isn’t so possessive as to..yeah. He’s not /that/ possessive.”

<Anna> “Mmmk.. So besides killing monsters what do you like to get out and do?”

<Jo> “Movies… running, pool.. I like target practice or just.. Mostly I’d say pool. What do you remember that you like doing?”

<Anna> “Coffee shops, books, I like the water, botanical gardens. Pool is fun, I remember watching friends in college play. I guess you can’t really do that with the casts. What happened? I’m assuming a hunt went wrong?”

<Jo> “Coffee is good - there’s a nice one just outside of the city centre. And the docks - I’m down there a lot usually myself. I can’t with the casts though, no - should be off next weekend though which is good. Yeah..yeah you could say that. I just wasn’t expecting it, not as alert as I should have been and things went a little pearshaped.”

<Anna> “That sucks. I’m sorry. Still could have been worse I suppose.”

<Jo> “Oh, I’ve had worse, it’s no biggie really. Just kind of sucks - but I’ve never had someone arounf who’ll really..help out during before so it’s not so bad.

<Anna> "Well I guess that’s good. Grey loves you by the sounds of it.”

<Jo> *Jo laughs loudly*

<Anna> “He doesn’t?”

<Jo> “Just never thought I’d hear someone say that without it being mocking or concerned or with some sort of malicious intent behind it..”

<Anna> “I’m guessing that by someone you mean me?”

<Jo> “A little, but not specifically. There are a lot of people with opinions.”

<Anna> “Why, what’s so bad about him?”

<Jo> “It, uh… it’s complicated. He and you haven’t really ever gotten along, his family are… eccentric, I’m fairly certain my mom doesn’t like him because of it and there are some other…well.. people he knows who have some pretty interesting takes on our..relationship, is all… It’s not something he can change but I wouldn’t say its… bad…”

<Anna> “Wow. Well..I can’t wait to meet him..again and maybe this time we can get off to a better start be friends.”

<Jo> “I doubt that, but he might be persuaded not to try and set your hair on fire. ..That’s probably as good as it could get. He.. holds grudges.”

<Anna> *Anna blinks*

<Jo> “What can I say… we both have very voilate personalities?”

<Anna> “I..What did I do to him?”

<Jo> “I don’t actually know, honestly, or at least originally. …He’s very.. you both have very clashing personalities. Or had. And then something, which would make absolutely no sense to you now, happened which got him really hurt that could be tracked back to you so… it hasn’t really helped my few attempts to mend bridges.”

<Anna> *Anna just nods*

<Jo> “Plus, you were with his twin and they kind of hate one another.”

<Anna> “So..is his brother..does he have the same issues that Grey has? That no one likes him..and were? We aren’t together?”

<Jo> “Grey’s more on the outs with his family than on the outs with other people - he and Harry are really good friends actually, Harry is a little more dubious of /me/ than of Grey. While his brother… gets along every well with their relatives but.. he’s a bit of a dick sometimes - charming. But a dick. I honestly don’t know, I don’t really believe anything about your relationship unless it comes from you.”

<Anna> “So..I’m dating the dick? and You’re dating the estranged grudge holder?”

<Jo> “I..wouldn’t say dating myself, but yeah that.. works. Pretty much that.”

<Anna> *Anna nods again*

<Jo> “…Any thing else?”

<Anna> “Not sure..I’ll pick you up this afternoon after shift?”

<Jo> “Sure, sure.. Works for me.”

<Anna> “Alright..see ya then”

#2 - Post-mindwipe I believe, Jo joking/taunting about Anna and Gray’s relationship just goes to melt down.

<Anna> so no other snark from her other than bitching about Anna’s perspective of her?

<Jo> Oh no, she’s snickering at the fact “I guess there are times porn and reality /do/ blend. Anna’s really going for that naughty catholic school girl thing.”

<Anna> *dies*

<Anna> Anna is huffing

<Anna> “I am not”

<Anna> “I’m allowed to feel..things.”

<Jo> “Are too, Saint Milton. Really? God’s not going to send a lightening bolt down and strike you for wanting to engage in some highly energetic animalistic fucking with a mass murdering psychopathic monster? …course, it probably would be worth the zap.”

<Anna> She’s doing her best impression of a fish out of water..

<Jo> Jo’s snickering her head off now.

<Anna> opening and closing hermouth while making noises as she tries to argue

<Jo> LOL Jo is getting a kick out of this

<Anna> “You..are not very nice”

<Jo> “I believe you’ve said that before.”

<Anna> “I….”

<Anna> *Anna huffs*

<Jo> “Can’t deny you want to fuck his brains out? It happens.”

<Anna> *Anna turns red* “I..I..Do you have to use such crude language!”

<Jo> “Well…can’t really call what he does ‘making love’, and I kind of do.”

<Anna> “No one asked you!”

<Jo> “No one ever asks anyone.”

<Anna> “You..are..I don’t know what you are..”

<Jo> “..a crude country bumpkin? Impossible? Radiant and fantastic?”

<Anna> “A bitch!”

<Jo> “…That works too.”

<Anna> *Anna huffs and crosses her arms*

<Jo> “Just telling the truth. It’s completely normal to want to break the bed, and the couch, and whatever paintings are on the walls…” *Jo smirks, trying not to laugh*

<Anna> *Anna just stares at Jo open mouthed* “No wonder you and Grey live in a run down house! You can’t have nice things!”

<Jo> *Jo gapes and squeaks offendedly* “Hey! We live there cause.. shut up, it’s perfectly fine! Who wants nice things when you can have fun?”

<Anna> “Obviously people who aren’t you! I mean would it kill you to paint the place? And cut the grass, it looks like an abandoned house. Have some pride of owner ship”

<Jo> “That’s the flipping point, Anna.. Hunter’s don’t really leave paper trails or have steady incomes, and neither do monsters.”

<Anna> “You own a bar!”

<Jo> “Technically it was my great aunt and uncle’s. And I /did/ live there with the other’s right up until your accident, so honestly - I’ll have pride in a home when I want to put down /actual/ roots.”

<Anna> “You have an answer for everything don’t you..”

<Jo> “…it’s easier than not. I moved in with Grey, it’s his house and even then it’s technically no one’s, so…why make it look nice when it’s not even ours?”

<Anna> “Oh my God..you’re squatting there…that answers so many things about you..”

<Jo> “That’s… kind of what hunters do. Squatting or motels; I mean, I could /buy/ somewhere, sure but… ….what do you mean 'that answers so many things about you’?!”

<Anna> “You’re hiding behind this whole "this is what hunters do” line you keep using. Lack of roots, lack of relationship, would rather have random sex, you have serious commitment issues.“

<Jo> ”….dah. Daddy issues, commitment issues, intimacy issues, a lifestlye that only appeals to the insane, self destructive or psychopathic… Hi I’m Jo Harvelle, and I’m a fucking mess.“

<Anna> "You know they make pills that help that.”

<Jo> “I don’t need medicating.”

<Anna> “Sure..most people with your issues think they don’t without medication.”

<Jo> “I don’t need medication, Anna..”

<Anna> “Sure you don’t.”

<Jo> “I just have the same problems your run of the mill stripper have, but I combat it with killin’ not exposing myself for cash. I don’t need a little pil to make it all better.”

<Anna> “Right…and how much do you drink and self medicate because you realize that is what you are doing, passing off hunting as coping instead of dealing with your issues. You know there’s numbers you can call and people you can talk too.”

<Jo> “…I grew up in a bar, how much do you think I drink? And I don’t self medicate..I treat wounds, sure, but nothing more than pain killers and other first aid shit really. ….Numbers I can call, right…I can’t get through a single conversation with a civillian without having to lie at least six times, Anna, so that’s bullshit.”

<Anna> “Whatever you say Jo.”

<Jo> “I dont want and I don’t need help. You’re just trying to avoid talking about how awkward you feel about wanting to run your tongue along those scars of Gray’s and everything else that goes with it.”

<Anna> “At least that’s a normal human reaction..unlike hiding behind "oh I’m fine I’ll just go kill something to get rid of the anxiety I’m feeling.”“

<Jo> "I said I don’t want help, I don’t want to change that okay? And I’m not sue how normal it is when you know everything you do about him but whatever helps you sleep at night.”

<Anna> “He doesn’t seem any worse than the rest of the people I’ve been talking too.”

<Jo> “Right. …I’m sure that’s totally the truth.”

<Anna> “And maybe there’s a reason I met him. Who knows, besides according to everyone I’m not much better than him.”

<Jo> “You met him because he was trying to control me and my behaviour. And if you meant that in a destiny type way, sorry to burst your bubble but fate doesn’t exist anymore.”

<Anna> “Oh good God you do have an answer to everything..”

<Jo> “Maybe I do, but thats actually the truth these days…”

<Anna> “Gee I’d forgotten that..”

<Jo> “Ha ha, funny.”

<Anna> “I thought so.”

<Jo> “Glad to see somehow you found a sense of humor.”

<Anna> “Hmph”

<Jo> “…Sooo… back to you and your feeling awkward about wanting to jump Gray. You know I think you still have that school uniform at the bar.”

<Jo> “I never did get asked to return it”

<Anna> “Why are you so interested in what I want, are you and Grey not having enough sex?”

<Jo> “I’m just amused that that hasn’t changed at all.”

<Anna> “I don’t think a lot of things have changed..”

<Jo> “You’re nicer. Not that you werent before…you just… got very focussed.”

<Anna> “Right..”

<Jo> “…when none of us were trying to kill the other’s partner things were pretty nice..”

<Anna> “So then explain now.”

<Jo> “Explain what? You and I were friends, Anna… when you weren’t trying to kill Grey and he wasn’t trying to kill you; and when Gray and I weren’t anywhere near one another. We actually were friends ya know.”

<Anna> “So..if how you’ve acted towards me is friends..I’m glad I don’t remember what were like as not friends.”

<Jo> “….those scars aren’t from the car crash. That might give you an idea…”

<Anna> “What part of I’m glad I don’t remember didn’t you get.”

<Jo> “Fine.”

<Anna> “I just..I don’t know..I don’t get why I want to punch you or choke you half the time..and then you start talking and if I remember you or not it’s like this slowly growing urge..”

<Jo> “…that’s kind of a normal reaction, Anna. Pretty much everyone wants to do that to me outside of my family…and even then. I mean, half the time yeah, even when we’re friends its like that..”

<Anna> “So why didn’t you make an effort to be friends again, that’s what I want to know.”

<Jo> “Because this is how we’re friends! We rib and teast and poke fun at one another, and then we get drunk or eat frosting and actually talk about proper issues, and then I feel uncomfortable with serious conversation and turn whatever we were talking about into a sex joke. That’s..just how it’s always been, Anna.”

<Anna> “Well thanks for letting me know AFTER the fact I already went through our 'friends’ way of hazing each other.”

<Jo> “I… I.. I didn’t… I thought you knew that, I mean I thought that’s how friends just /are/. I’m not good at the friends thing - I end up hopelessly pining after them for a few months or fucking them, so I really don’t think I have a good grasp on what a friendship /is/, Anna!”

<Anna> “Gee what gave you that idea. The fact that everyone ends up pissed at you or the fact everyone ends up pissed at you.”

<Jo> “Ha ha.”

<Anna> “I’m serious”

<Jo> “Well I dont exactly have that many friends so not everyone does.”

<Anna> “Again..I wonder why..”

<Jo> “Oh just fuck you.”

<Anna> “From what I understand we already did that and it didn’t work.”

<Jo> “It really didn’t.”

<Anna> “So is this being friends enough for you?”

<Jo> “Hardy hardy har har, you’re catching on well enough.”

<Anna> “Huh, now you seem pissy when I’m simply returning the affection you claim we share..”

<Jo> “Actually I’m more amused you’re playing along. Figured you would be more stickish than before.”

<Anna> *Anna rolls her eyes*

#3 - Not 100% sure context other than its after the above. Also, Grey should pay attention to the fact Jo was looking at these things and ~thinking things~ (this was about October after they’d started up, so like...shes been thinking a long while. this is before the whispering, or maybe during it)

<Jo> http://www.geekologie.com/2012/08/another-day-another-zombie-themed-engage.php Its sad when I find these things and the train of thought goes:

<Jo> 1. I can see Jo agreeing to things just because its ‘adorable’ when really its not

<Jo> 2. And then she’d be killed by Ellen

<Anna> lolol

<Jo> 3. At least its not a salt-n-burn fire side romantic comment

<Anna> Anna..*smacks*

<Jo> …what?

<Anna> she’s..missing having girl company..and she’s debating which is better for it..Ruby or Jo and she’s leaning more towards Ruby

<Jo> LOL …/why/ is the question streaming from both Ruby and Jo right now

<Anna> “Jo’s sorta mannish…and Ruby..at least looks girly..”

<Jo> They are both laughing at her - loudly. Though Jo’s sort of offended which is just making Ruby laugh more

<Anna> lol

<Anna> Anna’s just sorta pouting..“it’s not my fault that they are the only choice I have for female friends..”

<Jo> “Ruby isn’t even a female.” “……………………….” “…”

<Anna> looooooool

<Anna> “she’s less butch than you”

<Jo> “/Gray/ is less butch than me. Doesn’t make him more of a female.”

<Anna> “So you’re the man in relationship?”

<Jo> “No! Well with you I guess I was, but no, I’m not….”

<Anna> “Guess that’s why I’m looking more towards Ruby..why do I want a second man in my life.”

<Jo> “If you can call what you do have a man.”

<Anna> “After the other night..He’s definately all man”

<Jo> “Good for you.”

<Anna> “Yes..he was..”

<Jo> “If you say so. …How was it after though? Did he stick around for breakfast?”

<Anna> “He didn’t stay for breakfast but he did stay till I woke up the next day.”

<Jo> “Aw how cute. So how long did the honeymoon last before whatever sent him packing without even grabbing a bit of you for snacking on the go?”

<Anna> “The threat of Crowley I guess”

<Jo> “Strange that such a 'manly’ guy as him would be run off by the overgrown demon.”

<Anna> “How come I’ve never ran into Grey outside of his house?”

<Jo> “Because. And he’s not being run off by anyone, especially if he’s staying in the one place, wouldrn you say?”

<Anna> “Right..surrounded by traps and iron..which wouldn’t stop Crowley..I guess that means that he’s simply afraid of normal demons. You really wish to throw stones at Gray for being afraid of Crowley when yours won’t even come outside?”

<Jo> “Actually its traps and salt, theres no iron in our house. And most of those are there because of the fact that, oh hey, I’m a hunter and he’s a monster and it’s second nature to protect ones home. As for throwing stones, I said that your’s is afraid to be with you because of Crowley not that he’s afraid of Crowley - theres a difference. Grey isn’t.”

<Anna> “Gray doesn’t strike me as being happy domestic housewife..he’s never said anything to make me believe that we lived together all the time. So why should I expect it now?”

<Jo> “I never said he had to be, I was just musing on the fact you say he’s leaving because of the threat of another man coming in to take his turn.”

<Anna> “there..no one else has a turn!”

<Jo> “And yet he had to leave in case Crowley showed up. Unless thats not why he left, so either you’re waiting for the wannabe god-demon to show up to see how his little /pet/ is going, or Gray left because he didn’t want to be around you after getting what he wanted. Or some other reason.”

<Anna> “Why are you making it sound so bad that he didn’t want to be around if Crowley did show up? He couldn’t stop him, Gray would have been killed and Crowley has no interest in killing me. So why are you trying to twist it to make it sound bad.”

<Jo> “I’m just intruiged is all - doesnt really sound like a typical Gray-like response. ..his kind are really quite territorial you know.”

<Anna> “Tell you what, if you want to know so bad, ask him.”

<Jo> “…Nah.”

<Anna> “Well if you don’t want to ask him then stop being a bitch.”

<Jo> “But you’re fun when you puff up and get red.”

<Anna> “You are such a bitch..”

<Jo> “Think you already said that. And I prefer bitch to butch, so I’m cool with it.”

<Anna> “Maybe you’re a bastard then being you’’ve been the man in all your relationships.”

<Jo> “I am not the man in my relationship at present, so there.”

<Anna> “Right…”

<Jo> “It’s true.”

<Anna> “Whatever.”

<Jo> “… …………do you have any idea how much I hate that word…”

<Anna> “yes.”

<Anna> “but whatever”

<Jo> “Fuck you.”

<Anna> “But you’re fun when you puff and get red. So whatever Jo..”

<Jo> “Oh God, you’re horrid, you know that right?”

<Anna> “Whatever..your hate of this word is interesting.”

<Jo> “…. Why do you say that..”

<Anna> “I’m seeing what you get out of making someone upset. Trying to understand why you feel this is proper entertainment at the expense of others.”

<Jo> “I dont try to upset people, I play with them. Theres a difference.”

<Anna> “oh so you play..with no reguard to how that playing effects them. Does your interest if Gray leaving me relate to the fact you were abandoned by your father?”

<Jo> “…Excuse you? I am not the one between us who was abandoned by their father!”

<Anna> “My father loved me, raised me, encouraged me to be whatever I could be in life. Your father put hunting above you and was killed by it. Isn’t that why you have such a problem committing to people?”

<Jo> “Oh you think that if you want to about your own father, but don’t you talk 'bout my dad like that. He was a good man. ….I…shut up, I don’t have problems commiting to people..”

<Anna> “Is that why you keep everyone at a distance? Playing with them? Keeping us at both a physical arms length and an even further emotional one? How did Grey slip past your defenses or can you just leave him at anytime, abandoning him too?”

<Jo> “My father has nothing to do with it.. You can’t be too open in this lifestyle.. …/I/ don’t abandon people, shut up.”

<Anna> “Please, you turned to hunting instead of taking of your clothes. You’re surrounded by men who could be old enough to be your dad and you’re constantly working to prove yourself to them. Do you seek out their praise when you do a hunt well?”

<Jo> “…I wou-..I dont even… …Maybe normal men my age bore me? They don’t know anything about the world and what’s really out there, and regardless of your suggestion - if a hunter lives long enough to get to that age they’re usually pretty decent men. It’s a /shame/ my father had what happened to him happen so young is all. There are plenty of hunters I talk to my own age, or close enough to, Anna. And I don’t need /anyone’s/ approval, god dammit..”

<Anna> “I see. And you’re wall of not being to open in this life? How does that hold up to the fact your father and your mother were open enough to get married, have you? Even after his death you’re mother stayed in the life, helped other hunters. She even gave them beds to sleep on at the roadhouse, tended them when they were hurt. I’ve heard hunters talk about it. Why do you have to be so guarded?”

<Jo> “There’s a difference between being on the road and being in the life the way Mom and hell, even Bobby a lot these days, are. ….And they were in love, people do things like get married and have babies when they’re in love. They were younger than I am too, so hey, maybe I’m just jaded like the other guys my age or near enough..”

<Anna> “But not you? You can’t be open to that because of the fact you’re a hunter? And how is being a hunter on the road and at a bar different? You still put yourself in danger. Why do you have so many walls? Open, playing, your stubbornness, why don’t you think you should have friendships and relationships that are closer than the arms distence that you keep everyone at?”

<Jo> “I… could get married and have babies one day, maybe. It’s not completely out of the realm of possibility.. On the road you can’t let your emotions get to you, at a bar.. you can be nicer and more open. Though you’re more likely to get hurt from friends never showing up again too. I do too have closer friends than that! And maybe I have a lot of walls to keep other people better off, hmm.”

<Anna> “Who are these closer friends? Are you not here as much as on the road? You have a home with someone, you aren’t living a nomads life. And would you say that "protecting” others by not letting them get close to you is for their own good out of your concern for them or from your need to control things?“

<Jo> "Dean.. Sam.. Grey.. …you. I didn’t mean to, it wasn’t my idea and then things got that I needed to be researching more than hunting at present but when that’s taken care of I’ll be on the road more than no again, sure.. I am not a control freak, if either of us were that would be you. I don’t like..I don’t want to hurt people so I’m not going to let them close enough to be, dah.”

<Anna> “You would call us close? Interesting because to me, from my perspective we are hardly anything but close. And it’s nice and controlling that you want to take away my choice at what risk to take being your friend, if we were that close to begin with. And you are going to abandon Grey by taking off and only stopping in on occassion. Isn’t that what you remember of your dad? The random visits?”

<Jo> “We /were/ close, maybe not now but we were before..things happened. …you know nothing about my dad, Anna, nothing at all.”

<Anna> “I don’t have to know anything about your dad. You present as your typical 'little girl lost’ case. But whatever Jo, you keep playing with people and spending all that energy into keeping them away instead of building healthy relationships.”

<Jo> “Excuse fucking you, I am nothing of the sort. You and your psychobabble, which I really haven’t missed, really only sees what you think you see. I’m not like that and my dad was not like what you think. I’m not going to abandon Grey if I’m off hunting, /he/ understands my life and doesn’t want to force me to change it like you used to. I have plenty of very healthy friendships, maybe just not the same sort /you/ think people should have.”

<Anna> “No you see, you dont get to decide for me what’s something I’m sensative about and what I’m allowed to get upset about when you decide to use it for your ammunition. You don’t get to decide what hurts me and what doesn’t. If you don’t care to respect my feelings then screw you and your feelings about certain subjects. Keep playing these games Jo and next time we’ll have a nice long chat about how it’s your mother’s fault for not leaving the hunting life and taking you away from it.”

<Jo> “You know what, fine. You tell me plain and clearly 'Jo, you’re upsetting me with what you’re saying’ next time and I will back the fuck off. Your verbal and facial cues are kind of all off from what I’m used to, Anna, so I’m sorry if my mucking around upset you - maybe not calling me a bitch, which really doesn’t seem to be getting your point across if that’s what you’re using FYI, and telling me to stop would work better for your female sensetivities. As for blaming my mother, I get the feeling you two would /really/ get along these days, given she tried her best to take me from it regardless of not moving.”

<Anna> “Always someone else’s issue and fault isn’t it. It’s my fault for not expressing the fact your hurting my feelings even though a blind person in a dark room could see that you are. It’s my fault for thinking that calling you a bitch wasn’t clear enough and that I have to resort to a long drawn out way of explaining to you. I’m sorry Jo that my physical expressions weren’t enough of a clue to you and your insensative 'playing’ to tell you to stop. Next time I’ll be sure to maybe cry with going all red and puffing up since obviously none of those things are enough for you.”

<Jo> “You know what? They’re not. Because before they didn’t mean you were hurt, just getting pissed off! So sorry that when you got your hard drive wiped and replaced with the catholic school girl persona the self righteous hard ass left with it and the cues got rewired. Calling me a bitch was generally common place for all variety of things, so no, not very clear. Just fucking spit it out in future or just say /stop/. Jesus fucking christ!”

<Anna> “That’s it, keep blaming me. Even when you’ve known now for how many conversations that I’m not that other Anna..it’s still my fault that you can’t rememeber it. How do you hunt if you can’t keep that simple bit of information straight? Isn’t that the sort of thing you would have to be able to spot? Personality shifts in people? It’s okay though, I accept the fact that it’s all my fault and never yours. I’m sorry for making things so hard on you Jo.”

<Jo> “Well it would make a fucking change for once - it being you to blame and not me, but then again you can’t remember /that/ either, so there goes that little victory over blameless Anna. There is a big difference between noticing things in strangers and noticing the same cues on someone you know but them being /completely inverted/ on themselves. And you say you’re not that other Anna but the more we talk, the more obvious it is it wasn’t just her Her Royal Fucking Grace-fulness side that was like this.”

<Anna> “Whatever..I’m so over taking the blame for this other person who I don’t know. I’m so sick of hearing what a horrible person I was but then hearing about other things and turning hte other cheek to them, all while I’m being punished for being something I’m not.”

<Jo> “You weren’t a horrible person, you were as horrible as I am. So that’s up to you to decide what that means.”

<Anna> “Well then according to Ruby I must have been a really horrible person.”

<Jo> “…Excuse me?”

<Anna> “I mean..I didn’t drug anyone did I? That was only you correct?”

<Jo> “…I didn’t want to..”

<Anna> “It doesn’t matter. That happened to the other Anna..not me.”

<Jo> “Right, because you’ll forgive what anyone else did to the other Anna. I totally believe that. …Though that..had been cleared up, before you start to think otherwise.”

<Anna> “No I don’t forgive, it just didn’t happen to me. It happened to her.”

<Jo> “…right.”

<Anna> “I don’t remember you. I don’t remember Gray. But whatever she felt for you, I feel and I trust that because I feel like I should be able to trust you with my life and that I should be your friend but then you do these things that make me want to scream.”

<Jo> “I think this is the point where I point out that’s kind of what my and..her friendship was like. We hunted together, trusted one another to watch our backs, and while some stuff happened and it was…really not good between the two of us for a while, I was going to be willing to put that stuff behind us after this whole..Crowley thing. Same as she was probably, hopefully. Things are different in war time, you know the saying. But yeah..made y-her want to scream a lot of the time too. It’s not really that strange.”

<Anna> *Anna shrugs and heads for her apartment.* “Just remember I’m not her. I don’t know our history. It’s weird to look at a total stranger and feel something close to love for that person and you dont know why.”

#4 - Anna blaming Jo for the Whispering again

<Jo> Hows Anna doing in deciding if she wants to talk to Gray yet still?

<Anna> she doesn’t know but shes okay with talking

<Jo> *nodnod* That’s progress, right?

<Anna> maybe lol

<Anna> hows Jo?

<Jo> Jo’s more mopey than angry, been eating frosting since her bakings been burning, and just very weird. So progress lololol

<Anna> awwwwww

<Anna> Anna thinks Jo should still get over it

<Jo> Understandable. Jo’s not sure its something you can ‘get over’, and she’s feeling sort of really bad for treating Anna like she had about not remembering things or being freaked out.

<Anna> “okay let me put it this way. How many other people are you going to find that’s going to put up with your ass? And willing to go to such extremes because he cares?”

<Jo> “Probably none, with all things considered. But going to extremes isn’t a very good thing, especially when it restricts someone you’re supposed to care abouts freedoms.”

<Anna> “You should know all about going to extremes from what I hear.”

<Jo> “What is it you hear then?”

<Anna> “Careless, reckless, gets the job done but is sloppy.”

<Jo> “Doesn’t mean I effect anyone but myself usually”

<Anna> “You effect everyone that cares for you, idiot. Grey most off all.”

<Jo> “I haven’t died since the last time, I think I’m doing okay, so maybe I just dont get why people are worrying”

<Anna> “……………. maybe Grey should have tweeked your IQ level when he was in there.”

<Jo> “Why? I have…barely even gotten close yet again. I don’t get why it effects everyone that cares about me how I do my job, because the job gets done and I get out mostly unscathed. I’m not a complete moron, I don’t take on what I can’t do myself.”

<Anna> “Do you even hear yourself? You judge things as being okay by how close or not close you get? That mentality worries every, you aren’t a cat, you don’t get nine lives.”

<Jo> “Maybe not, but I’m on my second one, so who knows maybe I am. I judge it that way because..well, that;s the easiest way to. I might break some bones one hunt, I’m not dead. I might get a concussion or have a large amount of blood loss, but I’m not dead. I’m still moving, I’m still breathing, I’m fine.”

<Anna> “And what happens when you don’t care about being dead anymore?”

<Jo> “I keep doing the same thing I’m already doing until I’m not any more?”

<Anna> “and what about the people you leave behind”

<Jo> “People die all the time.. you learn to live with it.”

<Anna> “You learn to live with it? Have you ever mourned anyone as an adult? Not as a kid?”

<Jo> “Not I’m guessing in the way you’d mean.”

<Anna> “then think about that, and I’m going to guess Grey and Gray have a longer life than us..”

<Jo> “Uh… longer than me, that’s for sure.”

<Anna> “So they get to the time you have..and then Grey gets to mourn you for the rest of his life and if you act careless, you’re taking time away from him.”

<Jo> “Are you applying this same theory for yourself? You realise you somehow got the most psychotic, murderous, uncaring creature I’ve ever met to feel something for the first time ever and you’re not even trying to patch things over or work out the kinks or help him get over the woman he fell in love with?”

<Anna> “Turning this on me isn’t a good way to get out of this conversation and he’s not the only one trying to get over tht other woman. But the point is I plan on being around whenever the time is right for us to talk if at all again.”

<Jo> “Sure it is, I’d much rather talk about you than me. I’m not /planning/ on dying.”

<Anna> “You aren’t doing anything to make anyone feel assured by that claim either.”

<Jo> “Why not? I don’t want to die. How is that not reassuring?” (sorry was making lunch)

<Anna> “Just..never mind you’ve never been in the place where you have to worry about someone. I don’t know how to make you relate.”

<Jo> “I try not to worry about others anymore. I swear it aged my mother ten years and then another ten after.”

<Anna> “Clearly.”

<Jo> “Course that’s a lie though.. I worried about the..other Anna? Is that what I should call you, er, her, um..”

<Anna> “I don’t know and you cared enough to hurt her. So..”*Anna shrugs*

<Jo> “That was a case of caring about my /mother/ more so than my not caring about her.”

<Anna> “Is all conversations like this? With Grey? You justifying your actions with the attitude that you’re in total control and not at fault at all?”

<Jo> “I’m not saying I wasn’t at fault there, I very very clearly was - but I was saying that I worried about her before. A lot. …I dunno. Probably?”

<Anna> “And you wonder why he just did something like that?”

<Jo> “I told him I wouldn’t lie to him and say I wouldn’t do something reckless in order to get rid of Crowley…”

<Anna> “And the rest of the time?”

<Jo> “…I’m not going to promise not to put myself in danger to save others.”

<Anna> “What about because it’s a rush and there’s no one in danger?”

<Jo> “Sometimes if you don’t rush to get the job done, it’ll get out of reach and then someone could get hurt or worse later.”

<Anna> “Do you really hunt to save people or do you do it because like simply like it?”

<Jo> “…Why can’t it be both? Why’s everyone seperate them out as the only answers. I want to save people, I want to help people and I like to do both those things, but, yeah, I like hunting outside of that as well.”

<Anna> “Because you hide behind saving people like a shopping addict hides behind needing just one more top or it was on sale.”

<Jo> “Well I don’t. I want to stop other people losing their families, I want to do something which makes me happy too.”

<Anna> “Sure..but maybe you should start by saving Grey’s only family first.” *Anna walks off*

#5 - Post-mindwipe and post-Jo/Grey making up

<Jo> *missed that LOL*

<Anna> Soooooo

<Jo> ooooooo..?

<Anna> “Can I drive the car?”

<Jo> “No!”

<Anna> *Sigh*

<Jo> LOL

<Anna> =P

<Anna> “Jo”

<Jo> “…It rhymes with my name, and starts with an ‘n’.”

<Anna> “nacho?”

<Jo> “…You suck. You suck so so bad.”

<Anna> *Anna grins*

<Jo> “Not gonna happen.”

<Anna> “So we don’t ever go out for Mexican?”

<Jo> “God, can you just… Just go make friends with Grey or call up your guy or something. Annoy someone else too!”

<Anna> *Anna looks innocently at Jo.* “What am I doing to annoy you? I’m just asking questions, how am I supposed to know that we don’t go out for Mexican.”

<Jo> “Fuckin’ God and Mother help me.” *Jo rubs the bridge of her nose* “What were you going to ask /other/ than that you can drive then?”

<Anna> “If you wanted to go out for coffee.”

<Anna> “And not Mexican it seems.”

<Jo> “So long as theres some cake included..”

<Anna> *Anna laughs quietly*

<Jo> “I like sweets, alright. Shut up.”

<Anna> *Anna ticks off on her fingers* “Sweets, no nachos, no driving for me..”

<Jo> “Sounds about right”

<Anna> “I can see how you and Gray are alike, he says I’m also annoying.”

<Jo> “Yeah, but I’m sure he means it much more affectionately than I do.”

<Anna> “No not really, he sounded about as annoyed as you do.”

<Jo> “Yeah, but he /always/ sounds annoyed. …Mostly.”

<Anna> “Not always but when I’m teasing him like I am you right now, he does.”

<Jo> “That’s because you suck.”

<Anna> *Anna smiles* “I don’t remember, do I?”

<Jo> “Oh no, I think you know pretty well right now.” *Jo shakes her head, rubbing the back of her neck with a laugh*

<Anna> *Anna just smiles staring at Jo*

<Jo> “Coffee, cake. No car.”

<Anna> “I can drive while you eat your cake.”

<Jo> “/No!/”

<Anna> *Giggles*

<Jo> “You touch my sweetheart, I’ll touch yours.” *Jo teases back, sticking out her tongue*

<Anna> “But I don’t have a sweetheart.”

<Jo> “Gah! I will go, buy you something, make you enjoy it and it become important to you and /then/ touch it!”

<Anna> “That sounds dirty.”

<Jo> *Jo raises an eyebrow* “That’s really not dirty by my standards, angelcake.”

<Anna> “Clearly I have higher standards than you.”

<Jo> “/Clearly/.”

<Anna> “Jo.”

<Jo> “…What?”

<Anna> “Are we going for cake and coffee or are we going to stand about talking about touching things.”

<Jo> “…Fine, we’ll go for coffee and cake. You’re going to have to walk though.” *Jo shrugs a shoulder, fiddling with her jacket buttons*

<Anna> “Why do I have to walk?”

<Jo> “Well, someone blasted a shot gun round through my car window and they’re not being exactly quick at getting it fixed.”

<Anna> “Oh well, I have coffee here, I’ll just stay in where it’s warm.”

<Jo> “…You don’t have cake do you?”

<Anna> “Yes, I make pancakes sometimes.”

<Jo> “Fine, I’ll just bring some stuff around 'nd make my own.”

<Anna> “Alright but I don’t have fire insurance.”

<Jo> “Ah ha, I’m good in a kitchen. You can ask anyone. Except my mom. I’ll be around soonish then.”

<Anna> “The door will be unlocked.”

<Jo> *Jo hangs up and stuffs a few things into a plastic bag before heading out, glad to have already thrown on her jacket and scarf thinking they were going somewhere else. It takes a while to walk, but when she gets there she just heads in and straight towards the fridge* “Please tell me you have better than my coffee at least. I ran out of filters yesterday.”

<Anna> *Anna has the heat up for Jo as she comes in and makes a bit of a face as Jo tracks snow across the floor.* “I have some stuff from the local coffee shop down the road and I have some of that necter sweetner instead of sugar.”

<Jo> “Anything better than instant is good with me. Though that’s awesome.” *Jo kicks her shoes back towards the door as she pulls her coat and scarf off, throwing them over the back of one of the small chairs after digging out Anna’s milk, eggs and butter* “You got any particular allergies to anythin’, Anna?”

<Anna> “No, not that I know off. Do you? Is there anything I should not buy when we are out together?” *Anna takes a mop and quickly cleans up the floor before throwing a towel infront of the door to block the draft coming under it.*

<Jo> *Jo bites down a smirk at Anna’s cleaning as she unpacks her own mmixing bowls, meausring jugs and other utensils, before starting to measure out from eggs and butter before pausing* “Where’s the flour? And no I don’t, I’ll eat basically anything. The more meat the better. Or sugar. One or other.”

<Anna> *Anna chokes as is Jo makes a comment about eating meat and sort of blushes.* “I’m sure, you do and flour is to your left, top of the cabinet in the white container.”

<Jo> “…What? What the heck were you just thinking?” *Jo gives Anna’s flush a curious glance, though her lips quirk up in the hint of a smirk as she’s certain she could guess. Turning to grab the container, struggling for a second to grab it out before spinning back around to continue adding vanilla essence and a mixing up some buttermilk before mixing together, feeling about in her bag for something*

<Anna> “I wasn’t thinking anything..” *Anna leans back against the counter not being used as she watches Jo with a bit of a raised brow.* “You are far more domestic than I would have pictured you.”

<Jo> “Uh huh, then what was the blush about, Anna dear?” *Smirking still, Jo gets the limes she was after out, quickly grating the rinds into the mix* “In pretty much this one and only way.” *Finishing the batter, she grabs four spoons out of the cutlery drawer before offering two out to Anna as she gets the baking tray and cupcake liners ready* “Help me with this?”

<Anna> *Anna shakes her head* “I’m not blushing about anything!” *Taking the cupcake liners she turns around starting to seperate them out and lay them out in rows.* “So did you learn this from your mom? Did she bake for all the other hunters?”

<Jo> “Mhmm, you sure Anna? You /sure/?” *Chuckling, Jo quickly squeezes and mixes in one of the limes’ juice to the batter before begining to spoon in to the liners, leaving two of the spoons for Anna to join in* “Mom cooked for them all, but I’m not the greatest chef about the place. I always had a sweet tooth so she showed me the ropes as a kid and I’d bake while she made more substantial things.”

<Anna> “I’m totally sure. You’re the one talking about how you like your meat.” *Anna smirks as she dips a finger in the bowl quickly, tasting the batter as Jo measures it out in the cups.* “I’ve never met your mother right?” Did d she know about us?“

<Jo> "Oh that’s what that was about? Well, I am a fan of a nice piece'a meat..” *Smiling, Jo whacks the others fingers when she goes for another taste, topping up each of the cupcakes until the batter was gone other than the remainder around the edges of the bowl. Pushing it and the spoons across to Anna, Jo sprinkles a tiny bit of salt on top of each cupcake before slipping them into the oven, and sucks her fingers off* “You have actually, though she’s spending most of her time down with Bobby these days. She knew, she didn’t really approve but she doesn’t approve of a lot of things.”

<Anna> *Anna yelps as Jo whacks her fingers but then takes the bowl, licking the spoon as she shakes her head.* “Well as long as you keep your meat out of the cupcakes we are good.” *Putting the spoon the sink she runs a finger around teh bowl.* “So your mother and Bobby are a couple?”

<Jo> *Snickering, Jo turns to Anna’s cupboards and grabs another bowl for her to start the frosting* “I don’t think I would ever try to mix my two favourite things like that. …I..don’t know? Sure? They’re my mom and Bobby. They’ll let me know if anything turns serious; so I’m expecting a call any day now.” *She laughs, smiling as she mixes some butter with the icing sugar before grabbing out the bottle of tequilla from her bag*

<Anna> *Anna raises a brow as Jo get the tequilla out of the bag obviously intending it to go into the icing.* “So then your totally cool with the idea of your mom and Bobby..ya know..doing it.” *Turning around she turns on the water and begins washing the bowls so that there isn’t anything piline up.* “I guess that’s cool that you would like your step dad if they ever get married.”

<Jo> *Measuring out a little more than she thinks the reciepe quite calls for, Jo continues to beat and mix the mix as she turns to watch the other, pulling a slightly face and pausing for a sip of the drink for herself* “I’d rather not /think/ about it, but.. Bobby’s a good guy. He’s always treated me and Mom well and its not like I couldn’t have seen it comin’ eventually.”

<Anna> *Anna laughs watching Jo take a drink as she talks about marriage and step dads.* “Well still it’s good that she’s happy. How would Bobby feel about having Grey as a step son-in-law with him being a monster and all?”

<Jo> *Jo almost drops the bowl, her grip slipping for a second and catching it only at the last second as she spins back around to face the other way as she starts whisking again at double the speed* “I just want Mom to be happy, she deserves it these days…” *She studiously avoids commenting on the other’s question, flushing brightly*

<Anna> *Anna raises a brow as she dries her hands off from washing the dishes, Jo’s usually not clumsy and she sort of smirks.* “Everyone should be, I’m sore Bobby and Grey will get a long well.”

<Jo> *Setting the bowl down, Jo takes another mouthful from the tequilla bottle, hissing slightly at the taste more than the burn* “First time they met Bobby shot Grey. Course, first time my Mom met Grey she also shot /at/ him. ….Mom’d have the same issue as Bobby, probably more, about what Grey was - Bobby…was..well, he’d be a bit of a hypocrite to be angry about me bein’ with one.” *Shrugging, Jo starts to mix up the icing again, getting the mix slowly but surely more light and fluffy* “Though I don’t think they’d be ending up with any son-in-law’s at any point.”

<Anna> “Too bad, I was just thinking that with all the shootings as first meetings we could do a double shotgun themed wedding. It would be cute and I’ve helped with other weddings at my parent’s church so I could organize it.” *Anna reaches over trying to get a taste of the icing as she watches Jo.*

<Jo> “I.. …Last time this ever got mentioned, it was well known I’d be the one with a shotgun on them, and I don’t think that’s the greatest…idea. Things are just..” *Jo sighs, not stopping Anna from stealing a taste before squeezing in some of the lime juice and sprinkling in a fair two pinches of salt* “Things aren’t exactly normal, right now.”

<Anna> “Things not being normal is an understatement but as long as things have a chance to become normal then there is hope.” *Anna smiles at Jo as she takes a glass and pours herself a shot of the alcohol.* “I think it would be worth it just to see you all dressed up like a girl for once anyway.”

<Jo> “Well, I have plans. Hopefully..” *Jo pulls a face at Anna, taking the bottle back and swigging a mouthful before setting it back down again* “Next time, I’m going to wear a dress over here. Get your girly fantasies of seeing me all pretty for you out of the way.”

<Anna> *Anna snorts* “You don’t have too make a special effort on my part.” *She wonders if Jo’s going to be sober by the time the cupcakes get done.* “So besides baking and shooting things what else do you do?”

<Jo> *Measuring out a small cup of the liqiud, Jo sets it to the side as she starts to mix up the icing again carefully folding in some of the lime rind but keeps a quarter of it untouched* “Oh no no, much easier for me to wow you with my feminine charms without going through all the trouble of organising a wedding. …I mostly do research, help out other hunters, keep tabs on the bar. Work on making new weapons and such if I’m bored, build some things sometimes, work on my car and watch tv or movies mostly.”

<Anna> “Wow, you really are a tomboy.” *Anna chuckles as she steals another taste of the icing, licking it off her fingers.* “We could go out shopping at some point, there are a couple of malls it looks like or maybe catch a movie. I’m not sure how good I would be at building weapons.”

<Jo> “At least you’re not callin’ me butch.” *Jo laughs, watching Anna before just holding the whisk out to the other woman instead as the timer on her phone goes off and she checks the cupcakes, smiling when they’re the right amount of springy to the touch* “Neither of those sound like a bad idea. Except for the weapon work, I’m not letting you near my workspace. But a movie or shopping could be fun.”

<Anna> *Taking the whisk she happily takes care of the icing as she smirks at Jo, watching the blond woman happily cook away.* “Just don’t park the car next to it and I’m sure everything would be fine.” *Steping out of Jo’s reach she turns to wash the whisk once the icing is gone.*

<Jo> *Jo makes a sharp noise at the joke, shooting the other a dirty look as she begins to brush a small amount of the alcohol over the top of each of the cupcakes until the cup she’d set to the side was empty* “Like I say, shopping or a movie. Probably much less dangerous for /everyone/.” *Smirking back at the other, Jo leans against the counter setting another alarm for when she can start icing*

<Anna> “It was just one shot and I didn’t even hurt the car that bad, it was a flesh wound.” *Anna teases her more and she grabs another drink, the tequila burning going down.* “Let me guess if we go shopping, we have to go to the gun store after the shoe store right?”

<Jo> “I guess I’m going to go ahead and paint it black with just a /hint/ of red next time then?” *Jo snickers back, continuously pressing at the top of one of the cupcakes before going to start making up her typical DIY piping bags* “Nah, I have a guy I go to for most of mine, or at least the ones I care about. Make most of my own salt rounds and order the silver and iron from him; so no gun stores necessary. …Might need to go to the comic shop or game store though, I’m trying to understand what the hell Harry goes on about more.”

<Anna> “Oh! I found the gun I want, I bet you could modify it. I was looking online and there’s one that’s pink with Hello Kitty on it and another that’s purple with a unicorn.” *Anna is saying this with a totally straight face as she watches Jo make her own piping bags, remembering her mother doing the same.* “Harry once spent a whole afternoon explaining the mechanics of a game, not sure what it was.*

<Jo> *Jo blinks back at Anna, face twisting into a horrified and disgusted look as she tries to invision that such a thing exists before shaking her head* "Ah ha, no. But yeah, Harry’s strange. And Grey used to play a lot of video games though..I don’t know, I haven’t spotted him doing it recently but I figure its easier to learn in advance.” *Setting down the bag, she starts to cut the lime with rind into little wedges for decorating*

<Anna> *Anna bursts out into laughter at Jo’s expression as she describes the guns she saw online and she spares Jo the girly looking protection gear she saw as well.* “Those two seem like they would get a long really well, Harry really likes his games and comic books, he once spent a whole shift giving me a lecture of Marvel vs DC.”

<Jo> “Trust me, they do. Swear its like watching two teenagers, except they have very stupid thoughts that Spiderman and Iron Man are better than Batman.” *She can’t help but snicker to herself, knowing exactly what that lecture sounds like after several rounds of it with the geeky researcher. Feeling the top of the cupcakes again, she decides to just ignore her timer and start piping out icing*

<Anna> “Oh lord you are one of them too.” *Anna grins as she tries to make a grab for the first cupcake Jo finishes.* “How did Harry get into this life, he seems so far removed from someone who would be a hunter.” *Pausing she looks at Jo.* “He is human right?”

<Jo> “You thought any differently?” *Jo lets out a laugh, giggling to herself as she smacks Anna’s hand before studding the top of the icing swirl with a small slice of lime and then handing it over* “Harry’s definitely human. He and his friends were always into ghosts and they…did, you know those reality ghost hunting tv shows? They were doing one. But..online and not really popular.”

<Anna> “And just when I thought he couldn’t get any more of a geek.” *Anna takes the lime off that Jo put on there and sets it aside as she peels the paper off the cupcake and takes a bit. It’s really good even though she’s surpised how much it tastes like the drink.* “This is good Jo!”

<Jo> “Yeah well, he didn’t really appreciate my calling him and his friends hackjobs the first time we talked, but he’s actually pretty good at this stuff. Guess it sort of appeals to the geeky side, right?” *Smiling at the other’s reaction, Jo continues to make up the rest, putting a sliver of lime rind on some while wedges on others and sprinkling a small bit of salt ontop each* “Yeah? Well, I have had a lot of practice. Should have asked what you like first but..I had the stuff for these ones.”

<Anna> *Anna doesn’t say anything else till the cupcake is gone and she’s licking her fingers.* “Next time strawberry maybe?” *She’s relaxed and she’s really enjoyed just hanging out with Jo lately, it’s nice to have a friend again.* “Oh maybe chocolate with cherries and rum.”

<Jo> *Scrunching up the baking paper piping bag as she finishes, Jo smiles back at Anna as she tosses the sheet in the trash before picking up a cupcake herself* “I could do that. I’ve been trying to make a cherry cola rum one but haven’t quite got the right amount of cherry to cola yet. Though chocolate would probably be easier, actually.”

<Anna> “Oh chocolate and strawberries, that would be so good.” *Anna thinks the colo and cherries sounds good too.* “I’ll help you test out any thing you want to try, you can use my kitchen anytime. If you ever get out of hunting, you should open a bakery.”

<Jo> “I think you and Grey are going to be fighting over my baking now.” *Laughing, Jo makes her way through her cupcake, holding the wedge of lime in one hand as she licks up the icing before squeezing the juice over the top of the cake and eating the rest* “We’ll if we do go shopping, can always come back and try out some things after. …A bakery? That’s..a funny mental image, Anna, gotta admit.”

<Anna> “I think you could do an amazing business, do it after hours, serve these with the drink they match. And Grey can bite me, I call dibs on anything you bake.” *Anna takes the lime wedge and squeezes it onto the cake part before biting into it.*

<Jo> “Next thing you know, Harry’ll hustle in and try to get me to make themed cupcakes for things like new movies or DnD stuff.” *She chokes on a laugh at Anna saying Grey can bite her, coughing as she takes a mouthful of her own cake as she has the mental image* “I think he might have already, but you’re welcome to battle it out. Or I’ll just make seperate batches for each of you!”

<Anna> *Anna’s head snaps up as Jo says Grey already has and she has a look of panic on ehr face.* “Wait, please tell me that we haven’t he..Grey, your Grey and I ..oh my God I am the town bicycle. Did Harry and I? I thought it was just you and Gray, my Gray..” *Anna reaches for whats left in the bottle.*

<Jo> *Jo stares back at Anna before collapsing into laughing again, holding out a hand* “No! No no no! I meant he already called dibs! You’ve only been with me and your monster, and Dean but I didn’t know back then.” *She shakes her head, trying not to flush as she tries to think about any of what Anna suggested*

<Anna> “Oh thank heavens..I..just I am not like that!” *Anna blushes as Jo is laughing at her and she thinks this is karma for the car.* “You could have just said that he called dibs..”

<Jo> *Jo shrugs, still laughing to herself before her phone goes off. Looking at it confusedly and realising it was a call from a different hunter, she steals another cupcake and packs up her things - still joking with Anna and promising they’ll work out another day to hang out soon - Jo heads off towards the bar to make sure the book needed was ready for the other before heading home again*

#yay chatlogs

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iamnotawomanimagod · 6 years ago

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some of ya’ll might remember a drama I had a few months ago involving an old friend/parental figure and her new, much younger boyfriend.

here’s how that’s going (mostly for my record, you should prolly skip this tbh.)

tw for abuse, super large age gaps in romantic relationships, ableism towards mental illness, making fun of triggers, etc.

it’s also long af lmao, sorry mobile users

basically I burned a bridge previously thought Unburnable. A friend I’d had for 15 years chose the opinions and viewpoint of her months-long relationship over mine, in an issue that I considered a huge red flag. there’s honestly been so many red flags.

first - she’s 46, I’ve known her since I was 12. she helped raise me through my teen years (she’s my mom’s ex-girlfriend, but they broke up in like, 2010, so that’s old news). her new bf is 24. I’m 26. you can see one big red flag right there. I can’t even go into that one. it grosses me out.

the next came when the Boy and I got into an argument on Facebook (ofc lol). I posted something out of context about men not telling other men to smile on the street, how if it was well-intentioned towards women they wouldn’t do it towards men. it was out of context but I figured most people would fucking get it.

he countered with some MRA “men aren’t allowed to have feelings” bullshit, basically making the conversation about how dudes are actually the victims, immediately. I smelled that from a mile away, gave an evasive questioning response, he sniped back with the same shit. It devolved from there.

it was clearly something he had done a lot of before. so, like, he’s an internet troll. okay, whatever. sometimes young men make dumb choices and the internet is ripe for that kind of embarrassing faux pas. at that moment I still believed it was something he could’ve been educated out of.

it was a dumb internet argument that I even I can admit got super out of hand. after a lot of pointless back-and-forth, I asked him to stop engaging because I realized it was something that I clearly felt more passionately about than him.

I had also had a very reasonable conversation with my friend about him on the phone, which encouraged me to try to just end the debate. she had assured me it was a fluke, that he was just trying to have a debate, told me some of his Tragic Backstory to make up for it, yadadada. whatever. I was ready to move on.

the Boy could not let me have the last word though. and his last words were, in my opinion, a gigantic fucking red flag, and would have been a dealbreaker for me personally, if I was dating him.

his exact words were: “and so the triggered internet warrior loses the plot”

so a triggered joke. y’know, something shitty people do. making fun of and making light of ptsd. something internet trolls are known to do. and the alt-right.

it was a big, giant red flag for me.

I foolishly believed my friend had a similar heart to mine, and that she would (a) take my word that he was being an asshole, even if she didn’t fully understand the context due to the age gap, since I’ve known her for 15 years and he’d known her for about two months at the time, and (b) also see it as a dealbreaker.

I mentioned her by name on Facebook ( “does your gf know the kind of person you are,” essentially). She’s an old person so she took me mentioning her (not even tagging her! just mentioning her!) as a grave insult, and she and I had several screaming, crying phone conversations that weekend where she basically refused to listen to me, and I got exponentially angrier and angrier about her indifference and how unaffected she was by what the Boy said. it didn’t help that she proceeded to spend the weekend with him while ignoring all of my texts and phone calls. I felt he had undue influence over her and that I was losing the chance to have her understand why this was a red flag.

I got a lil scary. understand this person was like a mother to me, or at the very least like an older sister/auntie. I suppose I felt she owed me something, due to our history. that was a bit crazy-person of me, but also not totally unfounded. I lived in her house for two years after she and my mom broke up. my mom abused her and I was the one to help break that cycle. we had been incredibly close and I often told her things I would tell no one else. she would do the same with me. I expected her to take my side, or to at the very least understand my viewpoint. I was devastated, heartbroken, and pissed off when she took his.

still am, or I wouldn’t be here writing a 1000 word blog entry on a semi-public platform just to explain the backstory of what happened two months ago - not even the most recent, most troubling development in this stupid saga.

regardless, she basically thought I misunderstood him, and I came to the realization that it was probably the first time she had ever even heard the word “triggered” in that context - as someone making fun of someone else for a mental illness. she basically accused me of living in a liberal echo chamber/thought bubble, that she “knew his heart” and he “couldn’t possibly have meant something bad by it” (not verbatim, but the gist). she used the fact that a couple of my like-minded friends jumped in to rag on him after he dropped the triggered joke. not before, during the actual (slightly more reasonable) discourse.

I ended up getting like, obscenely mad at this, and really bratty. I told my friend she was out of touch and it was embarrassing. That I was ashamed of her. That she was a detriment to the nonprofit field (where she works) because she was so behind-the-times. That she was relying on her job to get out of having to do any work towards social issues in her personal life. I got mean.

b/c that’s what I do when I know I’m burning a bridge.

and I knew I was. b/c if she can’t trust me and listen to me about this, one of the most important things to me, a value I thought she shared - then she’s not who I thought she was. and, to be melodramatic as fuck because that’s who I am - she’s literally sleeping with the motherfucking enemy.

so. that’s what happened like...two or three months ago. we haven’t spoken since. I did my salt-the-earth-of-this-relationship-with-insults routine, blocked her on all available methods of contact, and tried to move on.

unfortunately, another drama in my family chose this time to intersect, because that’s how life works for me and mine.

my sister is on house arrest. for lots of complicated and ugly reasons, my friend’s house was the best place for her to serve this sentence. my sister just got out of a very abusive relationship. she’s a recovering alcoholic - but only when she’s being monitored via ankle bracelet by the state. like she recently went on a bender that coincided with my other sister’s wedding, which she was absent for, causing a huge rift there. she’s trying really, really hard to get her life back on track, despite making some mistakes. my friend really made it seem like she was in my sister’s corner, and like she was willing to build a safe and stable place for my sister to get sober and do her time.

I just found out from my mom that the Boy put his hands on my sister.

There was a bad argument, things got out of hand (serious rage issues in my family - it’s in our blood, regardless of sobriety, tbh. drinking just brings it out faster). My sister was being forced to quit smoking cigarettes because my friend decided to. I can understand how it escalated.

What I can’t understand is how my friend thought it was acceptable, given what she went through. Given she knows exactly what my sister has been going through.

My sister screamed, “don’t put your fucking hands on me”

he replied, “I’ll put my hands on you whenever I want.”

but I’m just a crazy liberal living in an echo chamber, right? I totally didn’t see right through this guy from the moment I met him, or from the first serious conversation I had with him? naaah. crazy liberal in an echo chamber.

I’m smug because if I stay smug I won’t get pissed. I won’t drive over there as soon as my husband is home and read that disgusting, borderline-pedophilic couple the riot act.

and I won’t feel guilty for how I’m in no position to help my sister out. that she’s in another house with another entitled, violent fucking straight man.

I can’t even like, approach my friend for another wakeup call. I’m too good at burning bridges. she won’t listen to me anymore. even if she barely did at the start.

ugh.

where’s my weed.

#rambling about my life #hey pal be a bud and don't reblog this or i'll tear your tongue out kthx #abuse tw #drug abuse tw #alcoholism tw #misogyny tw #straight white men on their bullshit again tw #long post

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themanicgalaxy · 4 years ago

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SPN 1X20 Dead Man’s Blood

this sounds vaguely like a plot episode, so uh let’s see how this goes

god i can’t believe this is only the second episode I’ve been able to watch this weekend, I am a Failure

So this Mr. Elkins guy looks like he might be a Hunter? maybe?

ooo lady in leather jacket

I don’t care if she’s evil, she’s pretty

Please don’t tell me Mr. Elkins is their “dinner plans”

HER EYES CATCH ON THE LIGHT LIKE A CAT THAT’S SUCH A COOL EFFECT

Ah silver bullets, ok VAMPIRE TIME BABIEEEEEE

Listen, Vampires sexy and I can’t bring myself to watch Vampire Diaries, this is what I got

Dean is trying to get Sam to go back to Sarah ha

DO IT SHE’S BADASSSSS

ok see the fact that Dean just knew he saw the name Elkins in his dad’s journal: how many times has he read that journal??

Also the way he just Knew it was a Colorado area code, that’s a cool skill, I want that skill

also I was right, hunter, but yeah he had the journal with the symbols and such, it was kinda obvious

the ~spooky figure~ is watching them

is it john? it’s john isn’t it

I like this “detective work outside the law” vibe,

with the etching of the scratches and the paper and the blood on the other side? ah yes the Good Shit

oh look it’s John I did not miss him

The “Sam argues with dad while Dean gets quiet” is....I don’t know how to say it, but older siblings tend to do it

it’s familiar is my point

*cinema sins voice* “If you’re reading this I’m dead cliche” DING

yOu wOn’T knOw it’S a VampiRE these motherfuckers wear all leather and their eyes glint when the light catches them, it’s not that hard?

okok lore: thought to be extinct, cross or stake do nothing, real bloodlust and the fangs are more spiky dentures that grow in

I like the fact that the myth gets garbled and no one’s entirely sure what’s going on, that feels very realistic

Dean: vampires...gets funnier every time I hear it

Boi wait till u meet ur angel bf

oOO John’s comments about ruining the car hit, you can tell, sibling thinks it’s nothing, fucking CHRIST

I hate John

"treats us like children” flhasofa

“you’re ok with entirely surrendering to dad” “if that’s what it takes” SFDHAPSI DEAN OH MY GOD UR DAD SUCKS

vampire wears a cross as a “fuck you” I think? That’s pretty badass

“wait for Luther the Vampire” great that’s certainly a Name for the vampire king or whatever

The captive girl spit in his face, good for her

I mean she’s probably gonna die but whatever at least she’s got some kind of something

This luther vampire guy looks like an eboy

HE’S GOT THE FUCKING ASIAN TATTOOS TO PROVE IT AHAHAAH

Dean is playing peacekeeper that’s Unfortunate and it SUCKS

the “YOU SAID DON’T COME BACK’ ADSFHASIPFSIP

force feeds her blood with a...lesbian kiss...I feel like as far as humanizing lgbt people this did not do a good job at that

I mean again, super mega hell, it’s not like I’m that surprised

oh yay beheading time

is John gonna stick around the rest of the season? Noooo

At least he dies

“yes Sir,” DEAN HE’S NOT A SIR STOP THAT

oooo Old Hunter Lore from the 1830s and the pentacle insignia, that’s pretty cool

they’re really just...gonna walk in there....

why the fuck do they sleep in hammocks that’s like the weirdest shit I’ve ever heard

UR VAMPIRES GO GET YOUR COFFINS

And of course, the vampire leader sleeps in a bed, what lore are they even drawing from here

The drinking vampire blood IS something from actual lore, from what I can tell, but it’s like....kinda jumbled? so they’re picking and choosing

although that is how most lore things work

oh god Sam and John 1 on 1 I don’t like this

Ok so John did plan for college? then what was his Damage

“stopped being your father, became your drill sergeant” YEP YEP THAT’S IT THAT’S NOT HOW YOU PARENT

this sounds like Hargreeves. Or my dad sometimes, depending on his mood

god i hope no one ever sees this

Dean’s really the only one that hasn’t had a love interest die in a horrible way yet has he

Cas get in here

“whatever happened to that college fund” “Spent it on ammo”

F U C K

Are...they...using Dean as bait? is that the plan

dead man’s blood? oh that’s a COOL AS SHIT ELEMENT I LIKE THAT

vampires...mate for life? WHAT??

I feel like Sam also wants the family to be together but has no way to handle it like Dean might

poor older sibling syndrome

OHO? DEAN STANDS UP TO HIM?

THE FUCKING VOICE QUIVERS WHEN HE SAYS “all due respect, that’s a bunch of crap...you sent us on these trips yourself....you can’t be that worried about us”

F U C K

DEAN JUST WANTS HIS FATHER NOT TO DIE?? AFTER EVERYTHING?

JOHN YOU SELFISH PRICK

SIBLING SOLIDARITY YESYES Y E S STAND UP TO YOUR DAD TOGETHER

Ah fuck I’m either tearing up or there’s something stuck in my throat

This fucking vampire with the sideburns what the hell

“boo” Smacks with baseball bat

Have I mentioned how much I love Dean? I don’t think I have yet, I love him

THE EYES GLOWING IS STILL SO GOOD AND CRYPTID-Y

at least the lady is wearing something nice

does the Rage Switch and Bloodlust and Sexiness just fucking happen? what the fuck?

Luther the Vampire has a nice jacket, that’s a nice blue jacket with accents

oh John’s getting pummeled? should i care

ah wait this is gonna hurt the characters I actually care about, I guess I’ll halfheartedly root for him

oh for CHRIST’S SAKE YOU PICK N O W TO START THE “we have as much right as you do to live” Debate when you LITERALLY MADE THEM STRAIGHT UP CORRUPTY VILLAINS AND FRAMED THEM THAT WAY THE ENTIRE TIME? IS THE POINT YOU’RE N O T SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT IT? WHAT THE FUCK

did sam just say sir? and Dean not?? CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT or SOMETHING??!!

ok listen, the “We’ll go together” Sam smile, Dean looking dead/dissociating as they say yes sir? hits DIFFERENT

Ok uh wrap up?

1. Vampire lore was HELLA interesting, with the eyes glowing, dead man’s blood, second set of fangs cool. The “mate for life” thing was WEIRD, and how garbled the myth got was kinda the point so I liked it right up until the end. The one strange thing is the woman acted INSTANTLY evil once she got turned, and then they framed like people trying to live their lives was a bad thing by reinforcing it both with the visuals and the story. So like 10/10 except for the last ten minutes(hell I’ll even take the hammocks, that was kinda funny), which were just...why

actually speaking of lore, the hunter network lore and stuff was also really fun, I liked that. Again, all good except for the ending bit as far as lore

2. John....fuck john....fuck him so much I hate him so much what the hell

3. In all honesty, we haven’t gotten a lot of Dean recently, and getting that again(with that killer performance holy SHIT) is just? Oh my god?? The way they both handle being with their dad in different ways? Dean playing peacekeeper and desperately trying not to rock the boat because the oldest tends to get more shit? the hardcore dissociation at the end????

Listen I’m an older sister, of course I’m gonna project at least a little bit, leave me alone he’s my favorite emotionally stunted character

I guess we’re coming up on the end of the season, and tbh, the only good part about this is that it means john will die soon. That’s gonna be a Time. ok, till next time wheeeeee

#pawswatchesspn #1x19 Dead Man's Blood #seriously vampire lore was great i love vampire lore #i'm a castlevania stan first and a person second leave me alone #my fav character is trevor...wow I have a type don't I #ok time to go to sleep before I keep spewing more vampire meta

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searching-for-mercury · 7 years ago

Text

Voltron - Klance - Fake BF

All I Want for Christmas is a (Fake) Boyfriend

Summary: A while ago, in a fit of anger, Keith told his mom he had a boyfriend. Did he actually have a boyfriend? No. Did he care? Also no. At least, not until his mom, months later, tells him to bring his supposed boyfriend over for the holidays. Not wanting to admit he didn't have one, Keith asks around for someone to play the role and who agrees to play the part? The annoying guy from his Lit class.

(AO3)

----

Chapter One

Two weeks into December should have been the time to breathe easy, where the only stress ought to have been in preparation for and during finals week. The flurry of books and exams, papers and projects, all crammed into the last week of the semester. Long hours of studying could finally turn into hours of caught up sleep, of eating full meals at a normal pace. Dishes piled haphazardly in the sink could be washed, laundry done, and, of course, packing up the car to drive home for the holidays.

But that was exactly Keith's problem: the holidays. He'd promised his mom he would drive the several hours it took to get there and stay a couple days for Christmas. He'd done it before and he'd do it again, gladly, if it hadn't been for one little thing -- his mom told him to bring his boyfriend.

He didn't have a boyfriend.

A couple years back, he'd come out to his parents as gay and his dad was far more supportive than Keith had ever dreamt. But his mom? His mom was...doubtful. He didn't understand it and his dad tried talking to him about it before, but the point remained: his mom didn't believe he was actually gay. Maybe it had something to do with how, after his parents divorced, Keith had gone to live with his dad and his mom felt left out. Maybe she just couldn't wrap her head around the idea, maybe she needed time. There were a gazillion possibilities and he only thought about them after he got mad.

In a fit of fury, he'd told her he was going steady with a guy from school and things were great; his relationship, his life, everything! He'd wanted to rub it in her face that he was gay and doing just fine! Better than fine!

Time had passed and he'd sort of forgot about his fake boyfriend until about an hour ago when his mom called. What was he going to do? He either needed to find a boyfriend or come clean to his mom and just feel the "I knew it" vibes that would surely radiate from her the entire time he was there.

No, that wasn't an option. He had to think of something else.

So he pulled out his phone and typed out something, thought about it, erased some words and retyped a few, and then sent it to two people. As soon as he hit send, however, he felt regret surge up from the depths of his stomach. His thumping heart didn't help any, either.

It was a stupid idea, but that only made sense because he was a stupid person. Stupid, stupid, stupid--

His phone chirped at him. Someone had responded.

Unfortunately, it was Allura with a solid, "No, sorry, I don't think I know anyone who could help! Maybe try Pidge?"

But he was way ahead of her. He'd already texted Pidge and he was really hoping she had a better answer. She was probably at work, though, so Keith went around trying to keep busy.

Lists were made, vacuuming was done, and he even got around to cleaning the inside of his shower. It was when he was in the middle of making dinner, staring at the tiles on the wall and wondering if he should get a haircut before or after his family visit, that the fateful chime of his phone sounded.

"Yeah, I know a guy," she wrote.

Keith hummed with impatience. Couldn't she have just figured he wanted more details?

"Great, can I have his number?" he typed back. Honestly, was it that hard to do?

"No."

Apparently so.

After a bunch of typing back and forth, Keith was left with a sort of empty, nervous feeling that started in his feet, for some reason, and a date. Well, not a date date, just an appointment kind of date. Ugh, even in his head it sounded stupid. A meeting time. There.

He would meet with this mystery person the next day in the park by Best Buy. It was where Pidge worked. She'd always been really into technology and picking apart computers. When they were younger, they would go find unfinished homes to sneak onto, just so she could peer into the walls and see how the wiring was laid out. That and play space pirates. Their echoes in those empty homes had always made everything feel more dramatic, exciting. They'd stomp down wooden staircases, crawl through open cabinetry, and have epic duels out on the windy, dirt-filled backyards, under dark clouds and the setting sun.

But the wiring always came first. She technically worked at the Geek Squad that was a part of the Best Buy, but it was only a temporary thing until she finished her degree. Keith could never quite remember what it was, but it sounded important. Then again, a master's degree in anything always sounded important. Maybe it was engineering -- but he could have sworn there were more words to it.

Regardless, he showed up the next day at three in the afternoon, holding a coffee in one hand and his phone in the other, at the park she'd told him about. He was early. Pidge, however, was not, as she wrote in her text message.

"Sorry, running late for work. Can you meet him alone?"

Keith eyed the store from the wooden bench he'd just settled down on. If they sold binoculars there, they'd be some weird, hi-tech stuff. He narrowed his eyes just in case. If he didn't know Pidge any better, he'd have told himself it was a bit of a stretch, to think she'd set this all up only to spy on them from afar.

He was halfway done writing, "How am I supposed to meet him when I don't know what he looks like," when someone stopped walking right in front of him.

The guy was wearing real snazzy boat shoes and straight-cut jeans that were cuffed at the ankle. Keith looked up to find a striped shirt under a blazer-style jacket and then the face that put it all together. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but it wasn't him.

"Hey there, you're Keith, right?" the guy said. He had a smile whiter than the snow they were expecting later that week. It was a smile Keith had seen before, but never directed at him.

"Uh, yeah," he replied.

"We take a class together, don't we? Your face looks familiar."

Keith nodded and gestured for him to sit down. "Modern Literature," he replied.

He wasn't sure who he'd been expecting, but it sure wasn't the guy who held up his Lit class almost every single time during class discussions, talking about everything other than the actual topic. Keith wasn't much of a talker during those classes, he was more interested in his science classes, but this guy was the reason their class never got out on time. Five, ten minutes over their intended class period and the only thing on Keith's mind was murder. It had been his last class of the day -- he just wanted to go home.

"You're the guy who doesn't like poetry!" the guy exclaimed.

Keith was blanking on his name. Something with an L. Louis? Lars? La-- "You're Lance, right?" he asked, hoping that if any deity in the world existed, it would hear his prayers and tell him he was right.

"Yup!" he said and gave another one of those smiles. He was always chatting up the girls in the class -- he even went so far as to compliment the teacher on her hair, though Keith was pretty sure that was only to get an extension on a paper. The point was, why was he there? Pidge had explained everything to him all proper, right?

"Did Pidge, uh, explain things?" Keith asked. He could feel his face heat up, but he was really hoping it was one of those times that didn't show. "About what I was asking for?"

"Oh, right, yeah dude, no worries," Lance said. "You're looking for a pretend boyfriend, right?"

God, it felt so...pitiful, hearing it said out loud like that. He wasn't starved for a relationship or anything, he just had something to prove.

"And you're fine with acting the part?" Keith asked. He hadn't even begun to start questioning if he, himself, was okay with acting the other part. With Lance.

"Yeah, I mean, I figured we could talk about it some more," Lance replied with a shrug.

It still didn't make any sense. Lance was okay with acting the part of a boyfriend for another boy. "Are you gay?" he blurted out. Well. That just happened.

Lance's eyebrows went way up. They looked a little too neat to be natural. "Bisexual, actually," he said. "But no worries, you set the rules!"

"Rules?" he said before it caught up to him. Oh. Oh. "Uh." He should have probably thought things out a little more. It sounded much worse than what he'd actually intended. "How about I explain the situation first?"

Lance nodded and Keith relaxed into a retelling of everything that had happened to land him in such hot water. It made him feel better, though, explaining everything. Made him seem a little less creepy, maybe. Hopefully.

In the end, Keith agreed to buy Lance Taco Bell every Wednesday of the next semester in return for everything playing a pretend boyfriend entailed. It felt a lot better than paying him with money (though he had offered), but not by much. He definitely wondered why Lance was so easy-going about the whole deal, but he felt it kind of rude to ask.

Instead he went, "What about your own family? Don't they want you back for Christmas?"

Lance just scratched at his chin and said, "Don't worry about it. I don't have any plans."

Hm. It wasn't really an answer, but they weren't close enough to where Keith could just push on through with more persistent questioning. Why didn't he have plans? Was there family drama? Did he not celebrate Christmas?

Not knowing what to say, Keith just nodded and fiddled with the plastic lid on his now-empty coffee cup. He kind of wished it were still at least a little bit of the way full -- he could always sip on it during the awkward pauses.

"Can I get your number?" Lance asked. "I might have some questions before the big day. Or night. Or, well, all of that."

Why was Keith's face getting all warm? There was absolutely no reason for his face to be heating up. It was December. The temperature was probably close to whatever zero meant. "Sure," he said and pulled out his phone. It was sleek silver thing that reacted a little too eager to his touch, encased in a striped red case.

Lance's was blue with a crack in one of the corners.

"Then I'll see you next week!" Lance said, bouncing off the bench. He laughed. "Taco Bell for a whole semester. Sweet."

But before Keith could reply with, "It's really not that big of a deal," because Taco Bell was cheap and also garbage, Lance was striding away on those ridiculously long legs of his. There was a little wave involved, but Keith chose to nod instead.

A whole week, huh? Yeah, an entire week to over-think things and regret all the decisions he'd ever made to land him in such a situation. Perfect.

~*~

The picking up of Lance McClain, as it was so typed in his phone, was a relatively easy thing. In theory. So Keith didn't understand why he was parked in the parking lot of one of the school dorms, slouched in his seat, listening to Billy Joel's "It's Still Rock and Roll to Me." It was a good song and one of the few stations that would stay good during the whole four hours it would take to drive to his mom's house. It would change, naturally, but it just sort of fizzed out and then it was just solid rock music.

But he didn't understand why he was sitting there, focusing on the lyrics, while Lance was doing whatever it was that was taking him so long to get downstairs and in his car. He'd texted him half an hour ago when he was leaving. He'd given him a whole week's notice.

A small voice in his head was scratching at the possibility that Lance changed his mind and this was his way of canceling on him. But he chose to ignore that voice in favor of Billy Joel's more upbeat tone and wonder what 'white wall tires' could mean. He would have pulled out his phone to look it up, but he was afraid that if he did that, he'd also send Lance a stream of unpleasant, nagging texts.

He really didn't want to be that person. He'd been that person in high school; he sure hoped he wasn't still.

When Lance finally did stroll out of the double doors to the building -- and that's exactly what he did, stroll -- he was carrying two large duffel bags and a backpack. It was four hours away, not four weeks. And they were only staying for three days. Three.

"Holy mother of god," Keith said. He was incredibly glad he was still alone in his car.

After popping the trunk and grabbing the keys from the ignition (he'd locked himself out once and never again. Never. Again.), he hopped out to help rearrange some of his stuff to make room.

"You read my text right...right?" Keith asked. "It's only three days."

"Three days can mean a lot," Lance replied, swinging his first bag in. The second went in much more gently. His backpack he put in the backseat. "I like to be prepared."

"For what, an invasion of zombies?" Keith muttered.

Unfortunately, Lance heard. "Hey man, you never know. Doesn't have to be zombies. Could be aliens." He waggled his eyebrows.

Keith only rolled his eyes and got back in his seat. Lance was still pulling on his seatbelt by the time he pulled out of the parking spot.

"Is that what took you so long?" Keith ventured to ask. Hey, he hadn't sent the long stream of texts, but he wasn't about to just let it slide.

"Yeah, I was making sure I grabbed everything," Lance replied. He was staring out the window at the passing buildings. "Like I said, gotta be prepared."

"It's a house in the mountains," Keith replied. "Doesn't exactly scream dangerous."

"Having never been there, I couldn't take my chances," Lance shot back.

Keith sighed, deep and heavy. Whatever, they were in the car, on their way -- that's all that mattered.

It grew quiet as Keith navigated their way through the town, but picked up again once they hit the highway.

"Winter kind of bums me out," Lance said. "All the dead trees and frozen ground. I want summer! And the beach! Man, what I would give to go swimming just about now." "Be my guest, there's a lake you can hike to near my mom's." It was probably frozen several inches thick, but why should that stop him?

"You know what I mean." Keith didn't have to be looking at him -- he could hear the scowl in Lance's voice.

"Hm, then you picked the wrong state to be in," Keith replied. "We, my friend, are land-locked."

"You can still go swimming, though," Lance pointed out. "And there's actually a lot more to do here than by a beach. But still, can't deny the wonderful feeling of stretching out and soaking up the sun."

Keith couldn't relate. He had skin that burned and blistered if he dared go out without sunscreen. He always had to carry around the smelly stuff, just in case it wore off. Higher elevations meant being closer to the flaming orb in the sky that turned his skin to a peeling, burning mess.

"Anyways, I've got a question," Lance said. "What are we going to tell your mom when we get there?"

Keith switched lanes -- there was a left lane for a reason, people. "What do you mean?"

"You know, if she asks us how we met," Lance said. "Just a basic story."

It was a question Keith had been thinking about the entire week. He just wasn't good with story-making. Meeting in a bar sounded kind of seedy, but would his mom believe something too picturesque?

"How about our friends hooked us up?" Keith offered. It was pretty much the truth.

"That's so boring!" Lance said, sitting up a little straighter. "Couldn't I have picked you up somewhere? Like, where do you work?"

"A Call Center."

"Oh. Never mind. I thought if you worked in a restaurant, I could have been enamored or something and just routinely had dinner every time you had a shift," Lance said.

"Kind of stalker-y," Keith pointed out.

"Not if you found it endearing!"

"But I don't."

"You could pretend. That's the whole point of this operation," Lance said, huffing. He slid down in his seat.

Keith rolled his eyes. He didn't understand what was so important about what should be a simple story. But Lance was doing him a huge favor, even if badly made fake Mexican food was part of the payment plan. "We...met at school," Keith said. "Freshmen orientation. But we didn't start dating right away, we just started out as friends."

He could feel Lance's eyes on him, but he remained focused on the road. Cars were slowing down, so either a cop was up front or they were hitting some traffic. He glanced down at the speedometer; it was legal.

"Not bad," Lance finally said. "Can I still be the one who asked you out?"

That time, Keith looked over. "Uh, sure?" he said.

Another glance at Lance -- he looked a little pleased, a small smile curled up on his face. It reminded Keith of a cat an old neighbor had owned; was a tawny brown, fluffy thing with big gold eyes and dark paws. He'd seen it in the window every time he left to go catch the bus for school.

Traffic picked up again and the radio started switching about an hour into their ride. Dark trees rolled by, though not very tall or thick. The road narrowed into two lanes, each in different directions. The curves around the mountainsides always used to make his dad nervous and they always knew when it got bad because their car would slow to a crawl.

"I've got another question," Lance said all of a sudden. He reached out to lower the volume.

"Shoot."

But Lance fidgeted with his fingers a bit before responding. "How far exactly do we go to prove we're in a relationship?" he asked. "Like, what's appropriate? Do we hug? Kiss?"

"Uh," Keith said. He kind of wished they'd discussed it earlier, when he wasn't driving past great big cliffs and around tight turns. "I'm down for whatever you are. I guess."

"Cool," Lance replied. "By the way, can we stop by somewhere eventually? I could kill for a coffee or some water."

Somewhere. Right.

"You couldn't have asked when we were driving past all those gas stations?" Keith asked.

"I wasn't thirsty then."

"I swear to god," Keith grumbled.

"Hey man, I didn't say right now. I just said it for when you, you know, see a good spot," Lance said. "Eventually."

Was he going to strangle him? Probably not. But throwing him off the mountain did seem rather tempting. If they weren't stuck behind a minivan that had absolutely no business being there, he might have actually done it.

Instead, he turned the music up again and continued driving to safer, less precipitous places. If he'd been driving with an actual boyfriend, maybe he wouldn't be having such a hollow, sour feeling in his stomach. Maybe he wouldn't be kicking his own ass for not making up an excuse to not go. A lot of maybes roamed around in his head, but nothing to make them settle, no tiny, wriggling bit of hope for a good time.

"There!"

Keith nearly flew out of his seat. "Jesus," he hissed.

"There's a stop coming up!" Lance said, pointing out his window at a sign that passed by.

"Any reason to shout it?" Keith asked. Luckily, he'd stayed in his lane. There was only a semi-truck in the other one. His heart was pounding and he'd definitely jerked the wheel. "Have you never ridden in a car before? Don't scare the driver. He is responsible for your safety."

"Sorry," Lance said, but Keith didn't believe an ounce of it. "But there's a gas station coming up with a McDonalds and I think a Subway."

"You hungry?" Keith asked.

"A little, but you said we'd be eating dinner at your mom's," Lance replied. "But I'm thirsty and these legs of mine could use some stretching."

Keith tried not to look at those legs of his.

As he was turning into the area where the buildings sat, all nestled together, he asked, "So what'll it be?"

"Hm, well," Lance said. "Let's try out the gas station first and if their drinks are expensive, we'll go through the drive-thru at McDonalds. Nothing beats that dollar menu."

Keith wanted to ask, then why bother with the gas station at all? He breathed in, breathed out. Whatever, Lance had his reasons. Keith didn't need to understand or ask about them.

He pulled the car into the parking lot, shifted into park, and went to unbuckle. Only he didn't get that far because suddenly Lance grabbed his face and kissed him. Not fully on the mouth, but enough.

"What the hell?!" Keith sputtered, pulling back. His face was on fire. His face was on fire and he didn't care, but he did, and he couldn't help it, but he wished he could.

"Yup, thought so," Lance replied.

For once, Keith couldn't form a response fast enough.

"We should practice kissing so that doesn't happen in front of your mom," Lance said.

"Okay, first off -- you should have just said that before you went all, all... And secondly, I probably wouldn't react that way if you'd warned me about it," Keith said. Both points were basically the same thing, but his brain was still a little fried. "Who just goes around kissing people like that?"

Lance scratched at his chin, looking a little sheepish. His shoulders tucked in a bit, like he wanted to make himself smaller. "Sorry," he said. It was a believable apology, that time. Hit all the right kinds of apologetic tones.

Keith only nodded, frowning out the windshield at the brown bricks that made up the gas station. He kind of wished real life had a little angel and devil to talk to on each shoulder. Maybe not the devil, he did plenty of things he regretted enough on his own, but the angel might've helped. At the very least, it could have told him if it was bad to feel kind of excited about kissing the boy sitting in his car. At the thought of more kissing.

Then again, most Bible-pushers said being gay was a sin, so maybe the angel would just berate him for that.

"Keith?"

He jerked back into their world. "Right," he said. "Practice. Um. Sure, but it'll probably be weird."

And it was weird. But also nice. It was a lot nicer when Lance actually kissed him full on the mouth, all soft and careful. And then he was gone again.

"Could you open your mouth a little?" Lance asked.

Keith's head was either still stuck a few seconds in the past or Lance hadn't waited for a response. The second kiss was even weirder, what with Lance's tongue sort of swiping past Keith's lips, but not full on pushing through like he'd seen in movies. He was kind of glad for that. French kissing always looked so uncomfortable.

"Not bad," Lance said the next time he pulled away. A half smile sort of snuck up on his face, and only later would Keith realize it was a sort of teasing expression. "You're a little stiff, but I don't think we'll have a problem convincing your mom we're in love." He ended with the last word in a sugar-coated, sing-song tone and a waggle of his eyebrows.

Once they'd stretched out a bit, stocked up on drinks and snacks, they were back on the road. Keith's mind, which had been left behind, came racing back when they got stuck behind an SUV with a trailer hitched to the back of it. He slowed down a bit, checked the lines and the other lane, switched, and then drove his foot into the gas pedal.

"Holy Tostitos, Batman," Lance hissed, holding onto the handle above the door.

Keith ignored him in favor of getting back in their lane, before the truck heading their way made it to the same spot they were.

"Could you slow down? Maybe?"

"Why?"

"Because I want to live? I've been wondering, do you always drive this fast?" Lance asked. He hadn't loosened his grip on the handle.

"It's not that fast."

"Dude, you are going like, ten or twenty over the speed limit, I am sure of it," Lance insisted.

The rolling of his eyes did not go unnoticed.

"Don't be blaming me if you get pulled over by a cop. Or we hit a patch of ice and go spiraling off road, only to hit a tree and die. Won't be my fault when you get blisters on your ass for landing yourself in hell because you killed lil' ol' me and--"

"Oh my god, shut up!" Keith shouted and added pressure to the brake pedal. "We aren't going to die! My driving skills are great -- better than great! Haven't had an accident in my entire driving career."

"Don't go jinxing yourself now."

"I am going to throw you out the car."

"Going 90 miles an hour?"

"Yes," Keith said and traded a grin with his obnoxious fake boyfriend.

----

Hope you liked it!! <3 <3

#klance #keith kogane #lance mcclain #voltron #vld #fake bf trope #fakest of fake bfs #super cliche plot #but I LOVE WRITING IT SO OH WELL #i wanted to try writing a slow burn #but it is not going quite as slowly as i had planned #so #it'll probably be done in 6-7 chapters??#ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU LIKE IT #i put the ao3 link cause imo its easier to read

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