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#how am I supposed to wait for another 2.5 weeks
blood-orange-juice · 11 months
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4.2 really can't come soon enough
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chaosnoirjpg · 10 months
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Life After Suicide Attempts:
The Judgey Voice in your Head is telling you lies
Another installment of “Life after multiple suicide attempts” because there isn’t enough information or education on the subject and I have more to say on the matter anyways. So here we go!
Recovering After An Attempt: 
What drives a person to want to end their life on their own terms? Life and one’s own humanity can be suffocating, oppressive, and similar to pushing an ever-growing boulder up a mountain. It’s this vague yet very much present energy that suggests that, “maybe this whole thing isn’t worth the trouble it causes.” Philosopher Camus says this is the ONLY question worth asking.
Whatever the reason behind one’s actions in this. There is clearly a lacking, a screaming out to be believed, validated, vindicated in their crumbling reality and perception. It is not anyone’s place to calculate the suffering to deem it worthy of crying and complaining about, but to reach out and relate. Pain and suffering are the great equalizers because no amount of culture, finance or health can prevent pain. The remedy for the lack of enthusiasm about life and living is cultivating a sense of community. 
A person is a person because of the company they keep. I am not advocating for finding a cult of masochists who are bonded only by their capacity to stand stoic in their pain and suffering. Instead, to cultivate a community of loving and nurturing people. This would require communication, participating in social activities and doing the opposite of what you’ve been doing.
Moments, months, days, weeks, hours, minutes, before my attempt I carried on like usual. I spoke to no one about my depression and anxiety. I went to work, home, and back without suspicion of what was in my head and heart. I wouldn’t have it any other way because I was ashamed for feeling that way in the first place.
You only feel more shame after a failed attempt. Shame gets compounded each time you failed to commit. Shame already led you to suicide. The failure to commit suicide only adds more shame. Now you can add being a failure onto feeling out of sorts about life and living.
Shame and Guilt
Shame and guilt are dense emotions. They tell us that we are wrong, we are not welcome and definitely not supposed to be here. These feelings whirl around and tell us that we are good for nothing and can only hurt the ones we love. We get convinced that the only way to ease the depth of shame and guilt is to escape life altogether.
Shame and guilt are similar but different. 
Guilt: I did something bad that resulted in hurting others and myself.
Shame: I am bad and can only hurt others and myself.
Shame and guilt come with an inner voice. That voice is a critical one. It resides inside that judges you for every single thing you do, say, think, and are/be. You will not find a kind and gentle word to be had with this inner critic.
Perspective: Change your Mind, Change your Life
I am a firm believer in changing your mind/thoughts, change your life because I tried it out for myself. I waited just another day. I gave myself one more moment to choose life again. (disclaimer: I don’t mean in the pregnant-human-sense.) I searched for ways to remedy the shame and guilt I felt. I didn’t search for end-all cures. I felt that practices were more realistic because I’ve been feeling this way for decades and I am just starting to work on myself now. Practices are more forgiving.
I felt shame for not being able to be a productive adult. I wasn’t making enough money. I wasn’t in the industry for my dream career. Nothing was on track like I and my advisors had planned. I wasn’t able to buy a house and be married with 2.5 children and a dog. I could barely afford a two bedroom apartment with my siblings. How did this come to be? My little bachelor’s degree wasn’t as big a deal as my parent’s made it seem especially to job recruiters. I was feeling like an absolute loser.
I was saddened by the opportunities I was never considered for. I regretted not staying ready so I wouldn’t have to get ready. I overworked myself to the point of migraines and sickness. I tried to prove myself to the cooperate vultures that I was worthy of hollow promotions and bonuses. I was so drained by my meaningless office jobs that I couldn’t muster up the energy to take a day off to go on job interviews. I just wanted to sleep, take some of my time back from my 9-to-5 grind.
Does this sound like complaining? Pathetic, even? That is but a small taste of the critical voice the manifests inside. These things must be said to relieve ourselves of the shame and guilt that weighs us down, that makes us feel like we are not worthy of feeling. Whatever it is that makes you feel disenfranchised of the spirit. I understand that there are starving children in Africa. I can’t afford to send them all my money and not end up destitute where I am right here, right now. No one’s suffering and pain is below or above the other. Yet pain and suffering give us the blessing, if we so choose to perceive it at such, of compassion through kindness, gentleness, and grace-giving. If you are able to understand that others and yourself suffer and are in pain then you can allow yourself the same understanding, grace and compassion. Come to the inner critic with compassion and curiosity, leave judgement at the door as judgement is the cause and reason we are here in the first place. Learn and practice to sit in your uncomfortable feelings of shame, guilty, useless, worthless etc. No matter the origin of the dense emotions and feelings, give yourself time to understand what you need in the here and now. More love, more joy, more softness, more openness, more realness, more connection, more warmth, be present.
FOCUS
Focus, not on the lacking but on what you would rather have. When I first heard this advice I felt as though this was something along the lines of toxic positivity. You are ignoring the problem and focusing on the future. You aren’t being present. It took me some time to open up to the idea of utilizing this practice. In the beginning of my recovery, I focused on shifting my mindset away from death as a means of relief and looking at ways to be nicer to myself in my daily life. This in turn brought more lightness into my life. This changed my life in ways I couldn’t see before or I thought were never possible. Where focus goes, energy flows. Focusing on what you would rather have is similar to visualizing something into manifestation. You are simultaneously acknowledging that your current reality isn’t ideal, you not longer resonate with this or that so you envision a more suitable vibe that you recognize. That way it feels like a memory and not like something far away.
I have no idea how to end this passage. But if you have made it this far into my ramblings thank you for your time. I hope you got something out of this. I know I did. Writing about my journey has been liberating in more ways than I could never have foreseen. For that, I am grateful.
Thank you. I appreciate you. Good luck out there.
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Tuesday, March 19th, 2024!
8:18am: I feel heartbroken truly. I want to give my love to someone but nobody wants it. I'll give it to myself I suppose. And my bois ❤️
9:15am: After this crapshoot exam I'm taking the rest of the day for mental health, I clearly need to digest what has occurred over the weekend, once again I couldn't exactly do that while my parents were visiting. 🫠 Deja vu what the actual fuck.
11:54am: I'm so drained. There's just no motivation to continue. I don't even really have anger as a motivation anymore like I'm just numb. This shit isn't fun anymore it actually just feels like a complete mind fuck just made to make you go absolutely insane. How does anyone just go on like this how is anyone doing this. And like I know I'm in a fragile state right now and to have someone manipulate me like that? Just fucking evil. I just have to continue knowing I would never treat someone that way. My integrity is all I have at the end of the day.
3:00pm: Omg I called his house phone and ended up talking to his grandma for 2.5 hrs 😂 I love her so much. Wasn't really any shit talking, just normal talking which is nice for once. I just needed to have a normal conversation with somebody besides myself 🤣 just over here about to lose my marbles. She made me feel better about myself and just I really am a caring person and he is just still distant and he's just changed his personality 180°. It really has nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. And that's ok. Him not being as bubbly as he used to be, has nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. He's not doing bad, but he's just not doing much of anything and that's ok, too. I'm gonna keep moving forward :)
10:20pm: this blows bc I feel like I'm just starting a whole new healing process all over again. Such God awful timing to have so much pressure. I feel like I'm being crushed by the weight of school, then I look past Thursday after VD and I'm like wait there's nothing going on right there? Like why is everything so poorly spaced out this semester it's like getting beat and run over by a train and instead of going to the hospital you just get the weekend to recover but then another train is gonna run through your house next week and run you over again in your bed and there's nothing you can do to prepare or stop it.
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jenniez-tv · 2 years
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Well my streak is gone...
A lot of things has happened in the past 2.5 weeks.  I got the PET scan done where they inject glucose into your body to see which parts of your body light up.  Lighting up means bad/tumor stuff because it feeds.  The PET scan showed that there is actually 2 masses instead of 1, along with multiple lymph nodes and my anastomosis (where the connected my rectum to my small intestine).  So that this was more bad news and pretty much definitely meant that it could not be the desmoid tumor but cancer.   
I then got my sigmoidoscopy, endoscopy (which I get yearly) and endoscopic ultrasound guided needle biopsy (to try to get a sample of the mass).  They removed 7 polyps but the doctor said he was unable to find the mass so he just took a sample of the tissue that was where it was supposed to be.  To me and my doctors, it seemed like good news in the sense that it wasn’t touching the anastomosis and I wouldn't need to remove the rest of my rectum and need a ileostomy bag. 
I went to see an urologist about the mass putting pressure and narrowing my ureter to my left kidney.  A stent procedure was scheduled along with a nuclear renal scan to see the how bad the block was.  My right kidney was definitely compensating well (for now).  It was 84% right side and 16% left =x, I also scheduled to get another biopsy done a different way to try to get a sample of the mass.
While waiting for my scheduled procedures, my oncologist gave me a call around 8:30pm one day.. never a good sign.., She said that the biopsy they tested just because turned out to be cancer.. possible the mass was pressing against it and/or it just spread to have cells on the anastomosis.. I was in completely and utter fucking shock.  I was NOT expecting this answer, even though I knew the masses in my left pelvic area was.  So what this means is that I HAVE STAGE 4 CANCER AGAIN.  I told everyone that I wasn’t going to do this all over again.. and that I definitely didn’t want a ileostomy bag... I just don’t have the strength and energy to..
My 2nd biopsy was cancelled but I still had my kidney to worry about.  There was a possibility that the mass would be too large/hard/whatever for them to push the stent through without rupture.  If that was the case, I would have to get yet another procedure and pee out of a bag through a bag on my body..  I just got the stent placed yesterday afternoon and thank goodness they were able to get it through.  I definitely can feel it travel all the way up my body, and there is a pressure and discomfort as well as some spotting (bleeding) and burning while peeing -_-.  They say me feeling the stent all the way up is just from the procedure and that once I heel shouldn’t feel it like that.  However, just because the stent placement was successful doesnt mean that it opened the ureter up enough so I have to schedule another nuclear renal scan in 2 weeks to see if it did anything.  I am really hoping it does because I don’t need my kidneys to fuck up and need dialysis or some shit. 
I have an appointment next week to speak with the specialists who did my HIPEC surgery to see what they think is the best treatment plan and go from there.. I am trying to keep my options opened until I hear from everyone but I don’t want to do it all again.. the chemo fucking sucked, the HIPEC surgery was the worse fucking feeling in the world and of course I had complications and got septic from it.. Even till this day I am getting PT on my abdominal muscles because they separated and can’t stand straight without feeling tightness and pulling on the scar tissue.  If I were to get this surgery again it will only be even worse off.. People think that because everything is healed and that I look healthy means I am fine... but I am not.  What people don’t realize is all the AFTER shit is what is the hardest.  I went into some detail in the prior post about this and may say more later but as of now I just wanted everyone to know that my fucking streak of being in remission is gone - only lasted 2.5 years and that I don’t know if I want to go through this all again.. 
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gobbluthbutagirl · 2 years
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they hired a new guy to work in tech at my job at some point in like mid-late july and i am honestly SO surprised he has not quit and/or been fired yet because honest to god he is sucking shit at it. he’s called out like 10 times already and when he’s here he tends to cause mass chaos by not responding on the walkie to tech calls meaning nobody knows if he’s on his way or not or for that matter if he even heard it. and when i was on my first 15 minute break he was also on his first 15 minute break and the new tech lead came into the break room and asked him how he was doing with pulls. and he was like, “uh, yeah, i wasn’t really sure what i was supposed to be pulling. just anything that’s empty on the shelf?” and the look on her face was SO funny as she tried to explain to him what he was supposed to have been doing 2.5 hours ago. and he was like, “so there’s stuff in the back room that’s supposed to go out?” as though he had never even heard of such a concept before and she was like Yes. and she asked him what he had been doing since he came in and he said he’d been zoning and answering tech calls. and then she asked if he had even started on the one-for-ones she had asked him to do at the beginning of his shift and apparently he had not known what that meant so instead of asking for clarification he decided to simply not do it at all. and then my break ended so i had to leave and missed the rest of it but like 90 minutes later he was supposed to have brought a ps4 charger for this girl and he took like almost 10 minutes to bring it and then brought the wrong one. and then he took it back and we waited like another almost 10 minutes until finally the guest and i went back there to see what was happening and it was chaos. there were multiple people waiting for stuff to be unlocked and he had failed to lock the wrong charger he’d brought initially back up and it was just sitting out on the shelf. so i just had him unlock the charger for the girl who’d been waiting forever and brought it up to the front myself so she could buy it. and we happened to pass the new tech lead on the way so i told her that i thought he might need some help and the look on her face told me she was not at all surprised to hear that. also last week this dude handed a tech item directly to pretty much the sketchiest looking guy i’ve ever seen in my life instead of bringing it to the register and the former closing lead had to Get His Ass about that over the walkie
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thran-duils · 3 years
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Doll Me Up (P.11, Final)
Title: Doll Me Up (Part Eleven, Final) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Tony Stark. On good days, you and Tony were a power couple. You, a perfect trophy wife with your hands in local charities to promote a wholesome image. Tony, business man but sullied with organized crime. He indulged in his illegal gambling, extortion, and political corruption. And he indulged in his escort business. Hell, that is where he had found you. You were a brat, and he loved a challenge. Words: 1,892 Warnings: Unhealthy relationships, smut, daddy kink, dom/sub, manipulation, death, violence, possessive behavior, drug use
Part Ten ||  Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost
~2 weeks later…
“Come now, drink up,” Tony said, gesturing impatiently since he was needing to leave to go to a meeting bright and early, and you picked up the glass warily.
He had made you a smoothie out of hemp, cucumber, avocado, kale, ginger, grapes, and coconut milk. You had watched him adding each ingredient feeling more and more anxious. You just wanted an egg and bacon sandwich.
You grimaced as you swallowed it. You whined, “I don’t like it.”
“Yeah, I don’t either but it’s good for us, kitten,” Tony said, grabbing his own glass and taking a swig. He barely held back a face. “I’ve gotta be tip top shape for you and the baby. And you gotta be tip top shape for baby Stark.”
Scowling, you stared down at your glass, muttering, “I don’t like you calling it that.”
“I don’t like you calling it… it.”
“Well, we don’t know the sex yet, so what do you want me to say?”
“Baby Stark,” Tony quipped, taking another drink. He eyed your glass, nodding, telling you to do the same.
You took another long drink and swallowed it with difficulty. “It sounds too close to that annoying ass song.” Tony cocked his head in confusion, and you said, “I won’t subject you to it. Or myself to it. Again. Once was enough. I’m glad we are past the age – hopefully – that abomination is in vogue.”
“Well, now you’ve got me curious,” Tony said, pulling out his phone.
“Please, don’t,” you begged and then thought quick to threaten, “I won’t finish this if you do.”
Tony pointed at you and said, “That’s not fair. That’s for baby… the baby. This is for me and you can handle it.” Your jaw set and put the glass down, staring defiantly back at him. His eyes narrowed ever so slightly, not breaking eye contact. “You hate it that much?”
“Yes.”
Rolling his eyes, he placed his phone back down and picked his glass back up, taking another drink. At his relent, you did the same. Tony finished his and sucked his teeth before rinsing his glass in the sink. You forced yourself to finish as well and placed the glass back down on the counter. Tony grabbed it from you and rinsed yours as well.
He leaned in and gave you a quick kiss, “I’ll listen to it at work.”
“I am telling you, you shouldn’t subject yourself to it,” you replied.
“Digging my own grave then,” Tony joked before giving you another kiss, longer this time. He tapped your nose and said, “Do your laps in the pool, princess. Don’t forget. Doctor said that would help aches and loosening your muscles.” You nodded in response and he smiled, his hand coming to rest on your abdomen for a second before he moved past you to go to the garage and leave.
<><><>
~2.5 months later… (5.5 months along)
Tony had you on your knees on the bed, your fingers spread, digging into the bed, bracing yourself. He ran his hands up your sides as he kept a steady pace. He was being gentler than usual, and you were thankful, loving the intimate contact. His touch was sensual and loving. The further you got along, the more he was relaxing on the rough sex.
The two of you ended up on your sides, Tony holding you close this chest as you came down.
He laid a kiss on your cheek, still panting softly from the exertion considering he had done most of the work.
His hand slid down to your abdomen, caressing your ever growing bump gently.
“Look at how perfect and strong you are, kitten,” he murmured. He turned your head towards him and kissed you slow and deep. “A superhero in your own right, growing life.” You smiled gently at that.
<><><>
~1.5 months later… (7 months)
“She’s been good,” Happy commented, watching Y/N inside from the back patio. She was showing now completely, round, and no hiding her pregnancy. “I can admit, I am surprised.” He looked at Mikhail and said, “Looks like you aren’t a complete idiot.”
“Took you long enough to figure out,” Mikhail responded, taking a long drink, looking at the women gathered inside the room. He smacked his lips and said under his breath to Happy, “Not stoked about being at a baby shower but at least there’s a lot of nice ass to look at.”
Inside the mansion, you took the salad from your friend, who commented, “You should eat something else.”
“We are going to have cake later,” you said waving her off.
“I meant something more nutritious than a green salad, Y/N.”
“Spinach is very healthy,” you retorted.
“There are a lot of finger foods. Tea sandwiches. Meatballs on sticks with veggies. Deviled eggs. Pinwheels?”
You sighed, chewing the bite of salad you had just taken. “A couple deviled eggs wouldn’t be bad. And some veggie sticks with ranch.”
She walked off and you scowled to yourself. Everyone was trying to constantly get you to eat ‘healthy’ for the baby and it was getting worse, the hounding about everything you needed to do. You were tired of it. The constant asking about what you had eaten and when, the reminders to drink water as if you had not been drinking water your entire life, did you exercise…
Cassandra waltzed over, sitting down next to you. You were very thankful she had decided to come and had forgiven you for the scene at her house less than a year ago. She picked a crouton off your salad, drawing a smirk out of you as she winked, before she said, “I’ve been meaning to ask you. Where did you get this dress? It is gorgeous.”
“Tiffany Rose.”
“The blush color looks beautiful on you. And I love you went dramatic with the floor length.”
“Thanks. Would you expect anything less from me?” you asked, jokingly. She shook her head, smiling. You took another bite and swallowed. “Are you looking for a dress for your shower?”
She nodded in return. She was taking a break from porn – hinting she might not go back at all – having gotten pregnant herself. And then asked, her eyebrows wiggling, “Is the blush supposed to be an indicator about the sex?”
“No. I just liked the color.”
“You really don’t know the sex yet? It’s a surprise for everyone?”
“Well, for us. I’m sure Happy and Mikhail know. God knows Tony couldn’t have kept it all to himself. Good luck breaking them though. I’ve been trying to get Happy to slip up about it for a couple weeks.”
Cassandra leaned back and said, “So, he set it all up and then the cake cutting reveal is his secret?” You nodded. “Hmm, he put a lot of work into this.”
“He did,” you confirmed, taking another bite as your other friend returned with a plate of deviled eggs and the vegetables you had agreed to. You held out the half-finished salad bowl and they took it, albeit reluctantly seeing you had not finished. You took the plate and obliged them by eating one of the eggs. “He’s excited.”
You paused and then added, “Excited but he’s ready for rough sex again.”
“I’m sure you are too,” Cassandra joked, nudging you playfully.
“Yeah. I’m tired of just… growing.” You took a bite off one of the carrot sticks. “It’s never ending. And I know I’ve got probably another month and a half of it at least.”
“It’ll all be worth it,” Cassandra reassured you, stealing a celery stick off your plate now and biting into it.
You finished off your carrot, swallowed, and muttered, “I fucking hope so.”
Your hand came to your stomach, rubbing. You were anxious to know what the sex was. When the sex had been able to be detected, Tony insisted you should stay in the dark so he could make it an actual reveal at the baby shower for you. You hated not knowing when he did, but he had been persistent about the idea of it and you had gone with it because he seemed thrilled with the idea. You just wanted to know. You were hoping the party would progress faster so you could end that anxiousness.
When it finally happened, the blue inside the cake settled something in you. At least you knew what that part of your future was going to look like.
<><><>
~2.5 months later…
“What’s this?” Tony asked, seeing another travel bag next to yours.
“It’s for Miles,” you said as if that was obvious. You went back into your closet, grabbing another scarf from your collection. It was going to be cold at Lake Tahoe for the trip.
Tony took the scarf from you and put it in your travel bag. “He doesn’t need a bag. He’s staying here.”
“Wait, what?” you asked, stricken. He was only a month old. Barely.
“Doctors said one month is enough, but a lot recommend three months for trips. So, we are going to play it safe. He’ll stay here and we will go.”
“Tony, I—we can’t leave him!” you tried to argue, your hand falling protectively on his travel bag.
Tony’s eyes flicked to your hands and he gripped them, prying them away to grasp them in his. He stared into your eyes and said, “Sure we can. It’s only three days, Y/N. We will be back before you know it. He is an infant; he’s not going to notice.”
You were going to notice leaving your infant behind.
“I have to breastfeed him,” you tried another argument.
“Pump before we leave. You have back up in the fridge, no? And it keeps for up to four days. And then he can have formula otherwise.”
“I didn’t want to give him formula,” you protested.
“Don’t listen to that shit that says it’s not good. I had formula and I’m a genius by earthly standards,” Tony said, trying to make a joke. “I already got the formula, Wendy knows how to whip it up.”
“But—” you started to protest but Tony interjected.
“Just us, princess. Just us,” Tony said, his thumbs caressing your cheeks as he cradled your face.  “He’ll be fine. He’s in very capable hands with Wendy. You trust her right?” He waited for you to respond and you nodded; you did trust her, wholeheartedly. But that did not mean you did not want to bring your infant on a trip with the two of you. Before you could actually say anything, Tony’s hands fell from your face and gripped at your hips, sliding back to your ass to hold you close. “Let’s enjoy ourselves.” He leaned in, nipping at your ear, “Let me enjoy you. He’s been stealing all your attention as of late.”
You hated that last comment. Throughout your pregnancy and even from the beginning, you had had a nagging feeling Tony was going to get jealous about sharing your affection and attention. And that was just proving it.
“I deserve some attention, don’t I, baby?”
Shoving down argument, you forced a quick smile. “Of course, daddy. All of my attention.”
He smiled sensually, his hands kneading at your ass as he pulled you closer. His eyes were alight with adoration for you. “That’s my perfect princess.”
~~~
Forever tags: @coconutqueen21, @undecidedsworld
Fic tags: @kvzctam @farihafangirls, @teenageregression @mrsnegan25 @lilacs-lavender @agustdowney @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay @emmariexx
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HSMTMTS 3x2: The stakes have never been higher
I’ve been semi-off the grid for the past week or so, and will be even more off-the-grid for another, so I’m now so late to this episode, but from what I’ve been glimpsing during my very brief online presence, it seems quite a bit more promising than the first one. I just hope I’m not disappointed again. I’m putting off re-packing my suitcase for this. But, the thing is, waiting extra long to get here has sort of made me care more about the show again, so I suppose there’s that. Let’s dive in at last and see what this one’s got to offer.
‘Disney+’s Frozen: the Musical: the Series’? This season is entirely too meta and I love that! Also, EJ, they would totally call it that. I mean, they sort of already did once, not that you’d know… and now I sort of want season four to be about the characters becoming aware they’re, well, characters in a tv show… that would be something for real. And I’m only half-joking here.
Also, can we acknowledge how wholesome Portwell are being here? Love that for them. I refuse to take any part in any ship wars, besides, if you recall, I didn’t really see Portwell coming until halfway into season 2 (oblivious much?), but like, they’re the real deal. If we can’t have Redlyn or Seblos this season, at least there’s still them.
Idk why, but Maddox is just bothering me entirely too much. Which is a shame because I wanted to like her. But then again, I wanted to like ‘Napoleon over here’ (yes, I’m still calling him that, it’s now become part of honouring Big Red who first called him that) and then he severely disappointed me, so… I suppose the lesson which can be learnt here is ‘never get attached to a new character before you’ve seen them actually in the show’ or something…
I said it once before and I’ll say it again (and I’ll probably say it at least once an episode if things keep going in the same direction they are now) — Carlos is entirely too relatable this season. Not that he wasn’t before, but, come on, Broadway-diva-in-the-making Carlos Rodriguez in a summer camp setting? Hits different.
I am so intrigued by Jet though… like, I want to know more about him, and I want it now. Just give it to me already…
Kourtney without her phone is reminding me a lot of me in my last year of high school when I had to cut off flour and sugar from my diet in order to get into my prom dress… would not recommend. But yeah, I was fully just scenting bread whenever I went even where there was definitely none, and can I just say I feel for Kourt here…
Ashlyn saying Gina’s brought 1.0 to camp… sort of true, and it’s not like a little bit of that is a bad thing at all, or like she means it in a bad way. Like, come on, these two are sisters. They love each other. But Gina 2.5 is a Gina I’m liking a lot. And this season’s soundtrack is really pulling out all the stoppers, isn’t it? I feel like no matter how the other aspects of the show may get, the music is still going to be the best part of it all, and that’s saying a lot.
Ricky ‘rewinding’ himself was so funny and adorable and, like, embracing the obvious awkwardness of the moment… love that for him honestly. I feel like he’s on a good path this season and I’ll be back to liking him full time, not just occasionally.
‘Friends? Enemies? Lovers? *looks at camera*’ Ricky is fully giving bi energy here and I can’t say I (and about a few thousands more people on here) didn’t call it ages ago. Now can we please just make it happen?
Ok but Ricky and Gina at the sight of EJ and Val hugging reminded me a lot, for whatever reason, of Angelica and Laurens at the Hamilton wedding. I said what I said. Just… idk. That was the vibe I got for some reason.
And… suddenly I want to see tiny Val and EJ together in The Sound of Music… I love that show and I love the thought of these two as tiny little kids, being the best of friends and whatnot… just… add that to the list of scenes I’ll never see except for in my imagination, ok.
Ok but Maddox is just really getting on my nerves right now… it’s one thing being used to do things by yourself, but it’s another to rudely refuse any sort of help. What scares me the most about her, however, is that I feel like I’m seeing quite a bit of myself in her and I’m just not liking that at all. Like, I want to like her, and then I don’t, and then it’s because she reminds me of the side of me I’m still learning to love… an acquired taste, alright. Is it possible to be terribly annoyed by a character and still relate to them way too much? Because that’s where I’m at with Maddox right now.
‘… you’re not even friends. You’re the competition’… Now why would Gina say that… to her fans, too? Like, she might have gone through some stuff and learnt a few lessons along the way, but they’ve not been through what she’s been through. What if they mess things up royally because of her words of advice? But hey, that’s a solid reminder that Gina is still just a kid, too, and she’s got a lot to learn yet.
EJ embracing his inner Miss Jenn is… well, something I didn’t know I was supposed to expect, but then, is it a season of HSMTMTS if the director doesn’t circle everyone up and sing a song from the show they’re doing in the highest pitch they’re capable of? Or… or if Ricky doesn’t show up late with a bang? I think Carlos put it best here, in another one of his highly-quotable one-liners: ‘Now that’s tradition!’ Enough said.
I was going to comment on individual performances during this audtition montage, but… how could I single anyone out? Everybody is just lovely and, like, I came prepared with a cast list but I don’t know anymore… except… Alex and Emmy are 100% young Elsa and Anna and you can’t convince me otherwise.
One thing other than the music which I’m loving about this season is definitely the guest stars. I mean, Jesse Tyler Ferguson as Nini’s donor wasn’t something I wanted or expected or anything, but now that I’ve got it, I’m just curious to see the dynamics. And the contractually obligated awkwardness is there, but it’s sort of a positive, embraced awkwardness. I said last time that I didn’t care much about Nini’s story this season and that was because I thought they’d be basically just replicating Olivia’s own, but it seems I’ve underestimated this show’s potential in terms of storylines. I like this much more than a 100% focus on her music or whatever. That might be a bit of a controversial opinion, but it’s my opinion and I’ll stand by it until I don’t believe in it anymore… if that ever happens.
So… let me get this straight (or, like, as straight as possible when there are exclusively queer people involved) — Marvin and Nini’s mums were in a band together? Well, then, you can say it runs in the family, indeed. See, now that makes any music-related Nini storyline that much more interesting to me.
Pls… Jet arriving an hour late to the auditions and everyone just supporting him, no questions asked (shout-out to Ricky and Ashlyn especially)? I’m not crying, you’re crying! And I love his vocals, too. But in a show like this, that was a given.
‘He’s like a little Ricky’. Couldn’t have said it better myself. And… proud big brother (?) Ricky is my new favourite Ricky.
I love it so much when songs tie so inseparably into the context of their scene in the show… and You Never Know has definitely got that going for it. I mean, the first verse mirroring what Marvin told Nini, and then the title being the same as The University Clowns’ one big hit… I love that for it. And the music in this season continues to be top-notch.
Pls Ashlyn’s got a BATB rose? Love that so much!! It’s just a nice detail, you know. Also, it makes me wonder if maybe Big Red gave it to her?
Has… has Gina defending Maddox got to do anything with the fact that, out of all three Wildcat girls, she’s the only one Maddox hasn’t been vaguely rude to yet? And what… what was Maddox up to in the dark? I need details and I need them now. And I want to know what it is in the cast list that Carlos refuses to let happen… I suppose I’ll have to spend another week barely-online, waiting to find out… I sort of like it how life is making me more interested in HSMTMTS by taking it away from me for the 2nd week in a row. But I hope this next one will be the last one like this.
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nct-lian · 4 years
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wayv’s relation to lian
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KUN + LIAN: LUN
they have the cutest little interactions ever :(
was one of the members that kun was most comfortable around at first
she made him feel so welcomed!
when nct 2018 appeared on weekly idol, lian was placed in the front
but she moved her chair over to kun’s side to be closer to him !!!!!!!
lun stans found dead
they go out to eat food together a lot :D
now that lian doesn’t feel the need to look over him anymore, he stepped in and is now a very good parental figure for her
he bought her an expensive ass ring for her birthday
him and johnny both being her dad: 🤝
kun has been arguing back and forth with chenle about lian’s chinese name
he loves the name xiuying for her :(
they hype each other up all the time !!
lian and kun had the best time with each other when filming from home
we got so many adorable clips of them :DDDD
when talking to each other they can’t pick a solid language
like they’re always switching between mandarin and korean
they also slip in a bit of english at times as well
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TEN + LIAN: LITEN
if kun is her dad then ten is her cool uncle
he lets her do whatever she wants
like he will just sit and watch as she teases the fUCK out of hyuck
HES TEACHING HER THAI
just like kun they switch between multiple languages in a conversation
they normally speak english with each other!
their fashion game is always on point.
no actually they literally wore matching shirts one time
liten supremacy breaking the internet: <3
ten once said “guys she’s like my daughter stop being weird~~~!” on vlive when people kept asking if him and lian were dating
as he should !
they mention each other ¿ everywhere ?
THEY DANCE TOGETHER ALL THE TIME
ten even helped her choreograph the new ver. of yoncé
don’t touch me i’m soft
no because ten ships her with someone in the group … just not who you’d think ;)
i swear he’s her #1 hypeman
ten was actually the one who made their ship name- goals asf sry i don’t make the rules
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WINWIN + LIAN: LIWIN
lian is yet another member of nct who will sacrifice her soul to the devil for winwin
“winwin winwin winwin winwin is on the mind forever and always i love you winwin” was what she posted for his birthday
AND THE FEELING IS MUTUAL
winwin loves her just as much and he shows it
he likes hugging her DDDDD:
also ten ships them
so that’s that uh :p
lian cried so hard when he had to pause promotions with 127 :(
especially because they were super close!
winwin was actually another one of her first friends in nct because she was fluent in mandarin
and they were both super comfortable speaking with each other :)
winwin: i like lian the most :D
yuta + taeil: am i a joke to you?
no cause yuta is constantly losing in this thing
lian picks winwin and winwin picks lian what is happening
winwin’s current lockscreen is a picture of lian rolling her eyes at yangyang
yup yup their lockscreen tradition LISTEN AND WEEP
winwin’s selfies are lian’s favourite thing :)
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LUCAS + LIAN: LULIAN
omfg the chaos these two bring
i’m crying because nct 2018 was chaotic in itself but lulian was something else
THEY WERE ALWAYS SCREAMING ????
taeyong was going through an existential crisis the entirety of 2018
AND BYE LUCAS WILL NOT STOP COMPARING THEIR HAND SIZES
leave it in 2018 sweetheart we been knew lian is the size of a jellybean
he had her react to his drama where he dances to replay after killing his girlfriend
lian confirmed it was 10/10 and would recommend watching
she genuinely thinks lucas should have been added to nct dream and she stands by that opinion daily
the MOMENTS we got during nct world 2.0 were chefs kiss
they were both so chaotic while mark was frying eggs
“MARK WHAT ARE YOU DOING (⊹つ•۝•⊹)つ”
the oldest + youngest in the 99’ line remain iconic
lian hates him but loves him at the same time
because he’s nice to her but he SPENDS TOO MUCH OF HIS TIME MAKING FUN OF HER HEIGHT
“lian you’re like literally two feet tall i could fit you in my pocket”
“i will drop kick you in 2.5 seconds if you don’t shut the fuck up wong yukhei”
lucas once said that their favourite thing to do together was play at playgrounds
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XIAOJUN + LIAN: XIAN
what you’ve all been waiting for
xiaojun went so long thinking that lian was chinese (∩╹□╹∩)
like she speaks mandarin perfectly, has a chinese stage name
IT WAS A REASONABLE MISTAKE LET HIM LIVE
when they met the first thing he said to her was how pretty she was
“y-you’re so pretty uhh”
*cue distressed xiaojun*
he followed lian on instagram before nct 2020 was even confirmed
dedication
he didn’t know jaehyun or yuta liked her and accidentally patted her head in front of them and called her cute
AND THAT WAS RHE DAY BEFORE THE WHOLE “xiaojun is terrified of yuta” THING HAPPENED
PLEASEHANDHJEJSB
they’d like to do a duet someday :)
he couldn’t get her lyrics from kick it out of his head when he first listened to the song
sometimes still quotes them around her to make her laugh
lian hyped his drama up SO MUCH !1!1!1!€]£<]~\£>€{
“dejunnie is having an acting debut soon !! please go support him and his cast~”
xiaojun brags about that a lot ... and her nickname for him :)
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HENDERY + LIAN: LIANDERY
the teasing
THE MF TEASINF THEYRE SO ANNOYING
besties ™
they would occasionally message each other before and they considered themselves to be pretty close but when nct 2020 happened they were chaos
especially when they ended up in the work it unit together
everyone was so sick of them like they would not shut up about random ass things
hendery and lian are like another version of haechan and lian
but minus the lovey stuff they sometimes do
with liandery it’s constant teasing and making fun of each other 24/7
and it’s all fun and games so they can go DOWN if they’d like to
lian roasted him so hard once bye
they were supposed to be a pair on “it’s awkward but it’s ok”
but they developed such a good friendship within like two weeks that they had to switch up the members
hendery is kinda soft for her though ngl
he’ll just randomly poke her dimples
BUT HE WONT LIE AND SAY HE WASNT INTIMIDATED BY HER AT FIRST
it was just the way she presented herself at that time because she was a little frustrated, but it wasn’t anything that wouldn’t change later on
hendery thought she was older than him by like three years rip
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YANGYANG + LIAN: YANGLIAN
when lian met yangyang she gained another child
but yangyang’s not a baby anymore (҂⌣̀_⌣́)
yet he’ll 100% act cute so that she does stuff for him
she’s not complaining though anything for her son
they’re like yangyang and ten all over again
once had a whole ass conversation through memes
it started with spongebob ended with shrek
lian now knows how to introduce herself in german thank you yangyang
not lian teaching yangyang toronto slang :’)
yangayng for some reason gave her big haechan energy when they first met
because the first thing he did was mock her height
he literally bent down and said “can you see me better”
lian: hello i saw you perfectly fine before my neck isn’t broken sir
but it was okay because now they have a really playful relationship with each other :D
have teamed up on numerous occasions to make kun’s life harder
“i thought the chaos stopped with yangyang, lian when did you become such a problem child?”
but lian gets special treatment because well .. she’s lian what do you think
yangyang calls her lili :)
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Text
Don’t Breathe | 4.0
»Genre: hitman!au/bountyhunter!au || stalker!au ||
»Warnings: kidnapping, stalking, obsession, themes of potential Stockholm syndrome, mono-phobia, mature elements, manhandling, breakdowns, yandere (? i think ), he thinks it’s cute when she cries, eventually they fall in love, Disclaimer: I do not condone nor suggest stalking/kidnapping or anything of that nature, this is purely fiction.
»Summary: He doesn’t get shaky hands, he never forgets his gloves and he never leaves a trail. He was paid to get rid of everyone who witnessed the exchange between a gang lord and a politician, they were picked off, one by one. He found out a month later, he missed one. A young writer who attended the event where the exchange took place. He has to kill her. Can he do it?
✤ pt.1 - pt.2 - pt.2.5 - pt.3 - pt. 3.5 - pt. 4.0 - pt. 4.5 - pt. 5.0 
A/n: will edit later^^ hope u enjoy💖
taglist: @tangledsparkles @just-another-fangurl21 @impartoftoomanyfandoms @komorebi-unnie​ @tangledsparkles​
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The city has always held dark secrets in the shape of hopes and dreams, luring in optimistic ankle-biters, wishing to really become something. And more often than not, it works out. That dreamer gets to live the reality they’ve been waiting for, and it all seems a little too perfect.
“Can I get you anything, sir?”
“One coffee please,” Peeking up from his phone, he acknowledges the petite waitress, “no cream no sugar.”
“Coming right up,” 
He’s gone over the folder a thousand times, just making sure he didn’t miss anything. As far as information on you, he’s got all he needs, now it’s a matter of finding out what you were doing in the 24 hours before you vanished. He was able to stop by the police station and talk with the detective on the case. She wasn’t much help, but she did say Suzy had been calling her twice a day, looking for updates. Jin didn’t contact her as often but he’s been waiting for updates from Yoongi instead.
“Excuse me?” He pulled from his thoughts when he sees the woman in front of him, “Hi, I’m Suzy, you’re Min Yoongi, right?” She looks a bit unsure, he figured she’s just waiting for him to respond.
“Yes, sorry,” He stands up and shakes her hand before they both take a seat, “thank you for coming so short notice.”
“Of course, a meeting was canceled this morning so I had the time,” Sitting her purse in her lap, she tries to look relaxed but the way her brows furrow, he knows she’s worried, “I hope I can help in some way,” 
“How long have you known her?” He opens up a little notepad and takes out a pen.
“Six, Almost seven years now. She was an intern for a while, she’s been writing for us for all that time. Recently, I wanted her to start dabbling in field assignments as a reporter, she wasn’t too keen on the idea but she agreed.”
She glances at the notepad as he quickly jots down little notes. “What was the assignment?”
“A press conference with a lot of the controversy regarding the parties who attended. Quite a few people who attended from some news stations and outlets like that started dying off. She doesn’t really do politics, but I asked her to write an article on it because she was there. On the morning of publication, she didn’t show up to work. The publication was at 8 so I had to look for it so we could publish it. She had been working on it for weeks but it was missing from the writer's archive, it looked like it was deleted. The physical copy was gone and her computer was too. That’s when I went to her house and she was gone...”
The deep furrow in Yoongi’s eyes has her swallowing the lump in her throat.
“She went missing the day the article was supposed to be published? Am I the first person you’ve told this to?” She nods. 
“Why didn’t you tell the police about this? If she went missing the exact same day the article was to be published, that information changes the case. Knowing that others who attended this conference have died, there’s a chance she was being targeted because she was there as well.”
“I- I don’t know, I just didn’t think about it, I never would have thought she’d be targeted for posting a harmless article.”
“I’m going to assume she was being targeted because of the article, it makes the most sense. Someone at that conference didn’t want this to get out and they knew she was writing the article somehow.”
If her heart could sink any lower, it’d be in her feet. She should have never had you write that article, maybe you’d still be here if she had just listened to you. “What does this mean?”
“This city is filled with crooked people in power, there’s a chance that one of them were behind this,” He closes up the notepad and takes one sip of coffee, “I’ll do a little digging and see what I can find.” He pulls his jacket on and tucks a few dollars under his cup.
“Wait,” She stops him, “what can I do to help? I feel like this is my fault, if anything bad happened to her-”
“Don’t blame yourself for this, it could have happened to anyone. Secondly, if you could give me sources on everyone one at the conference; reporters, cameramen, moderators, anyone. Someone had to have witnessed something, and I need to talk to them.”
“Okay, I’ll work on that today.”
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Police, detectives, forensic scientist, all the necessary individuals required to pursue a missing person case passed through the station, on their own assignments. One of the detectives on the officers on the case, Jaemin, slips into his office to take a call.
“Hello? Mr. Lee, I’m sorry I could get to you early,”
“That’s fine, I just had a quick question. That missing persons case, you all are getting ready to drop it right? I heard there was investigation still going on,”
“Yes, unfortunately, we have an outside source working on the case and I hear he’s good. But don’t worry, Minho, I can shake him.”
“I hope so, one little reporter shouldn’t have made a big case,” He sighs, annoyed at the thought, “she’s dead, the client got what he asked for. I want this case to close as soon as possible.”
“I hear you, I’ll make sure it happens,”
“Good.”
He hangs up the phone and glances at the man across from him, waiting for the hefty check owed for his handwork on his last job. With a deep sigh, Minho picks up a pen and writes the check quickly and tucks it in an envelope before handing it to him.
“Everything okay, boss?” Jimin takes the envelope with a peachy smile.
“Kim’s last case is causing some problems- Not an error on his part of course, the target was reported missing and an investigation is happening. It was a multiple target case but there was one target that’s just fucking it all up,”
Jimin makes a thoughtful face. “A female? Young?”
“Yes, why do you ask?” Minho crooks a brows.
“He doesn’t seem like the type but I don’t know, where’s the body?”
“He doesn’t disclose that type of information, I respect his decision to do that,” Minho sighs, looking through files of other guild members to match them with clients, “I can’t imagine it’s a pretty process,”
“Well, maybe-” He pauses, finding the thought a bit humorous, “Maybe she’s not dead, y’know, just a theory,” He purses his lips, “but maybe not, his record is so clean, I doubt he’d leave a witness to tell the tale of whatever he does to them. I don’t blame him,” 
“He told me that she’s dead, there’s no doubt about that.”
“Well, if he won’t disclose the body, how can you be sure? And you said he killed the other targets and there’s evidence of that, why is she the only one gone missing?” Jimin makes a nonchalant observation and Minho starts to really think about it, could Taehyung be hiding something? That’s not like him, he’s one of his best. He’s never had to doubt Taehyung, every assignment he’s been given, he’s completed without flaw. He can’t believe Taehyung would do anything to put the organization in jeopardy, he won’t believe it.
“Jimin, can you do me a favor?”
“Anything.”
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The smell of blueberry pancakes tantalizes your senses, your eyes sleepily follow his movements from the fridge to the stove every few minutes. He’s making late breakfast because he said he was in the mood for some brunch. You finally get a glimpse at the tall stack of pancakes next to the griddle and you sigh, it looks so good. 
A few days have gone by, and the sleeping arrangements have been different. Some nights, he’ll tell you you can sleep in the spare room and others he’ll have you sleep with him, it’s not entirely unpleasant when you’re with him. He makes you answer questions and tell him about your hopes, dreams, fears, and everything in between. Generally, he's been more lenient with you, not chaining you up so often, letting you roam around a little bit to get some exercise. Lately, he's felt more like your companion than your captor. You’re beginning to see parts of him that are so human. And you’re starting to believe that he’s not lying to you, he’s genuinely trying to protect you. It’s hard to believe that that’s where you’re head is.
He has music on, playing soft study-like songs that make you feel calm. You tried to keep from grinning, like you’d try to contain a cough in a quiet classroom. He sways to the rhythm gently, tapping his foot and flipping the fluffy breakfast treats. How he hums to the song absentmindedly, it reminds you of how Jin used to hum while studying or doing anything really. Taehyung’s voice is really nice, it’s smooth and comforting
“Y/n, come taste,” He turns and holds a fork up with a piece of pancake on it, beckoning you to come to have a bite. You go to him of course, happy to sample what you’ve been smelling for the past thirty minutes. When you come to stand by his side, eye-level with his shoulder, you wait for him to put a piece on a fork for you.
“Say ah,” He holds the fork to your mouth and as silly as you know you might look, you don’t care, you just wanna eat. Your mouth opens and your eyes go wide when it finally meets your taste-buds, “good?”
You nod, it’s as good as it smells. You wonder why you haven’t tried to cook like this for yourself before. Work seemed to consume you, you can admit that. Sometimes, a coffee would suffice as your breakfast. And at night, a drink and a burger with fries from the restaurant down the corner would satisfy you. But cooking, making something for yourself, it hasn’t happened in a while. You used to do it a lot when you first moved when you and Jin were spending a lot of time together. It’s different being by yourself, it’s sometimes easier to over-treat yourself with fast food or quick little meals from local places. Seldom do you get to enjoy a homemade meal made just for you. He’s smiling down at the two plates he’s making when you look up from your daze and for some reason, you feel shy but a little, happy? 
No, stop it. You’re not supposed to feel happy, don’t allow yourself to sink further into that deceiving head-space. Into the space that makes him the source of humanity, the reminder that you’re alive. Finding yourself looking forward to seeing the light in his eyes, hearing the bass in his voice heavy on your ears. It feels good, you relish in it. Yes, you’re still trying to stay on his good side but these positive feelings, they feel too real. 
“Let’s eat somewhere different today,” He gives you your plate with a cup of syrup, a fork, the works. “I think I need a change of scenery,” 
You’re not sure where’s he’s planning to have this breakfast when he starts walking upstairs. For a moment, you think he’s going to his room but then he walks to the room where he’s yet to open since you’ve been here. Your stomach turns, you’ve been wondering what was behind this door.
When he opens the door, he waits for you to enter first, a smile ever so present on his face, he’s in such a good mood. 
You walk inside and the size of the room alone is huge but you’re more surprised by the canvases propped against the wall. The white sheets spotted with colors and a bit bunched at the edges, it’s an art studio of some sort. Is this what he does when he’s home? There’s one canvas on a tall easel and it looks unfinished so he must’ve worked in here not too long ago.
He takes opens the French doors to the balcony and takes a seat on the floor. You do the same, holding your plate above your lap in the same way he’s holding his. The smell of the paint doesn’t bother you too much because of the fresh air, and the blueberry pancakes outweigh the smell as well. “Thank you for breakfast.” You whisper, now cutting into your three fluffy stacked pancakes, what you more interested in at the moment honestly.
“You’re welcome,” He grins to himself, “other than what I’ve been making, what do you like to eat? I’m getting groceries tomorrow,”
You don’t respond, too busy staring out the window in a daze and eating as if he weren’t there. He calls your name to get you to glance at him, just to make sure you can hear him. “Nothing,” You deadpan, “I’m okay...”
“There has to be something you want.”
“Fine,” You set your fork down, a little annoyed, “um, chocolate chip cookies, the ones with the chunks, and almond milk.” Hoping he’s satisfied with your answer, you finish the last bite of your food and continue to enjoy the view outside. 
He takes your plate and sits it in on his so he can take it downstairs, leaving you to the peaceful room by yourself. You’re just now realizing how large his land is. There are other large homes nearby but they’re a fair distance away. 
It’s been a while since you felt the sun on your bare skin or the soothing breeze dance past you. You’ve missed this, running in the early hours of the day when the air is just right. The first people you used to see were a handful of dedicated adults jogging, some accompanied by their dogs.
This paint room has a super tall ceiling, makes you feel like you’re in a museum. When you look at some of the paintings on the floor propped against the wall, you smile. It looks like he likes to paint faces, distinct expressions on faces. Then there are flowers, the basic artist subject. There’s a long wooden desk with paintbrushes, pens, pencils, paper, a lot of paint. 
He comes back to the room, but his presence is oblivious to you for a little while, until his stumbles over a stray paintbrush and you look back at him.
He straightens up, his big eyes staring you down as he walks over to you. “Do you like to paint?”
“I’ve never really done it before, maybe when I was little but that’s about it,” You watch him open up a case and pick out a few brushes. He opens a few tubes of paint and squeezes a small amount on a pallet, then sets that down in front of you, “is that for me?”
“Mhm,” He nods. Gently taking the canvas that’s covered with a sheet from the easel, he puts it on the floor with some of the others. He opens up the closet to look for a nice-sized blank canvas for you to use. You pick up a brush and absentmindedly brush it against your skin to see how soft it is. 
“Here we go,” He adjusts the canvas onto the easel, “come stand here,” He gestures to the little space directly in front of the easel and you oblige, curious.
“You want me to paint something?” You look back at him, a little confused.
“Yeah,” He stands next to you, staring at the blank canvas before looking at you, “only if you want to.”
This is probably the most interesting thing you’ve done since you got here, you figure he’s starting to trust you more. You take a moment to pick a brush, given you have little to no knowledge about this craft, you choose a random one. Not too big, not too small.
He watches you debate over which spot of paint you want to dip the brush in, you decide on blue. A dark blue with a little bit of white. At first, you try to draw a flower, something easy, but it proves to be harder than you anticipated. When you think the brush will make a nice little crescent shape for a petal, it makes an unappealing squiggle. As menial as it seems, its frustrating that it’s not coming out the way you envisioned in your mind. After about five minutes of trying to fix it, your patients get peeled down to its last layer.
“Ugh,” You withdraw your hand and just stare at the canvas, a deep frown on your face, “it’s not coming out right...”
“You have to give it a chance,” He gets up from the bar-stool he was sitting on in front of the desk, “take a step back, and think about something beautiful that little mistake could become.”
Giving up on your small brush, you squeeze a glob of paint on the pallet and exchange the brush for your fingers. He tilts his head when he sees you rub your fingers in the pallet and then drag your hands down the canvas. Coming up behind you, he tries to get a better look at what you're doing. You’ve dipped your hands in different blues and you covered the canvas completely, eyes focused.
Your hand stutters when you see his long fingers mimic the movement that you’d been doing. Being that his size nearly doubles your own, his chest is just centimeters from you. His arms comfortably reach the canvas, as if you weren’t an obstacle. 
“What’re you doing...” You sigh, making gentle brushing motions alongside his, “This is my painting.”
“Oh, so you do want to do this?” His fingers stop all movement, “I didn’t think you cared that much, I’m sorry,” He pulls back, ready to wipe his hands but you grab his wrist with your paint-covered hand.
“I’m kidding,” He didn’t seem to mind getting the paint on his skin because he didn’t get upset, “you’ll probably make it look better anyway.” 
It’s tearing you up. How this feels nice and how you don’t want him to stop. Just standing here, so close to him, and watching his fingers dance across the canvas, it’s torture. When your hands bump, both of you laugh and it makes a pretty burst of blue.
He dips his hand in the lightest shade on the pallet and presses it on the edges of the canvas before you let your hand fall from the art-work. It takes a minute, but he stops putting on the finishing touches and steps back to look it over.
“Hm,” He grabs two rags from the floor, giving one to you and keeping the other for his hands, “I like it.”
You try to wipe your hands clean but they still have a bluish tent. “What about this does something for you?...” 
“I like capturing a moment in time, making my thoughts into something visual and tangible, it’s therapeutic.”
You stare at the painting in an attempt to see something poetic, or anything other than a bunch of blue paints smeared on a canvas. But in your futile attempt, the thought that he might think you’re enjoying this comes to mind, does he think you’re enjoying this? Giving you art supplies to keep your occupied like a little child, you shouldn’t be offended but it does feel a bit patronizing.
“That’s probably why you write, yeah?” He asks, leaning against the stool. “I’ve read all of your articles, you have a beautiful way of expressing yourself through words.”
“It doesn’t always feel that way,” You toss out an honest answer, “I wouldn’t call it therapeutic, but I do enjoy it...”
“I was hoping this room could be an outlet for you, somewhere for you to clear your mind.” 
Lately you’ve been falling into theses moments of zoning out and you just feel like you’re losing your mind. But that’s when he comes behind you, wraps his arms around you and you instantly come back. And it goes like this, almost every day. He gets closer, you let him, and you start to feel more like he wants to trust you.
“What does our painting mean to you?” He shuffles you forward, getting you closer to the painting with his arms still secured around you.
“You tell me first,” You counter.
He takes a look, head tilting a bit, “It makes me think of my childhood, it wasn’t a very colorful one. I was taken from my mother as a toddler after the courts deemed her an unfit parent. She was in a bad place, had no business having a kid anyway.” He rests his head atop yours, mentally slipping into his past to reveal it to you.
“I was in foster homes until I was a teenager, went from house to house every few months. The people who'd come and take me home were either trying to get money from the state or looking for another helpless kid to work for them. I didn’t know it then but I wanted stability, I wanted someone that I could depend on but never got it. I ran away when I was a teenager and depended on my self and here I am.” You can hear a smile in his voice, but you’d dare to say it was pain out of pain.
“It’s all blue, blue can mean stability or loyalty, that’s how I see it.” He let’s his hands slide down your arms and back up to your shoulders to give them a squeeze. “Also, we made it together, so that’s special in itself. Now, your turn,”
“Um,” You purse your lips, “it’s nice...” You answer as if you didn’t know any other words, you’ve never been good with speaking anyway. You rather write paragraphs than ramble on. 
“It is,” He agrees, “but how does it make you feel?” 
“I don’t know,” You frown, pulling his arms off so you can walk off, “it’s just a painting.” It’s cold not having his arms around you but you reason that you need the shock. 
You don’t want to start thinking deep, knowing about his past, sympathizing. You need to look like you don’t care. Does he buy it? Probably not, but sometimes he doesn’t like to force you to talk, it puts you in a foul mood and he notices.
“Just when I think you’re about to open up,” He tsks, shaking his head, “you remind me of the situation, and how you want so badly to make this uncomfortable for both of us.” His cheery mood is faded and you know you screwed this up.
You defend yourself nonetheless. “I’m not trying to make this uncomfortable for anyone, I’m already uncomfortable.”
“You’re such a liar,” He turns you to face him and steps in front of you to eliminate the space, “a bad one though.” You look up at him, trying not to let him intimidate you into backing down. 
“I’m not lying.” Wow, that’s the best defense you could come up with.
“You are,” He pushes his hand through his hair, a stressed furrow in his dark brows, “I’m glad we ended up with each other, really I am. But when you act like this, I can’t say it doesn’t hurt a little,” He leans down, breathing against the apple of your cheek almost. “because I know it’s not how you really feel.” 
Taking his time, he looks your face other, and this is what kills him the most. He gets so close to your face and everything in him wants you to lean in, he waits for the moment that you lean in and eliminate the space between you two. 
Ding dong. You’re saved when the doorbell rings and you use this as your chance to slip away from him. He drops his head and sighs, this was bound to happen, he sort of regrets approaching you anyway. When he leaves he closes the door and leaves you wishing he was anyone else. You could hate anyone else right now.
When he checked the cameras on his phone, he was surprised to see that it was non-other than Park Jimin, what does he want? The bell rings for the second time and he rushes to silence it.
“Kim,” The man smiles, and Taehyung takes in his casual attire, meaning he was off today just like him, “I was beginning to think something happened to you,” His eyes intermediately go to Taehyung’s blue-tinted hands, “sorry to drop in unannounced like this.”
Taehyung makes an offended expression almost, he can’t hide his physical reaction to the concern, it seemed fake. “Didn’t have my phone on me, what do you need? It’s my day off,” His tone isn’t rude, but genuinely confused.
“I, uh,” Jimin rakes his mind for the story he’s supposed to tell, “my cuff-links! I left them in the bathroom that night,” His smile looks a bit too plastered, and when Taehyung doesn’t invite him in he let’s out a nervous laugh, “they’re expensive okay, rubies, can I grab’em?”
Taehyung opens the door wider so he can come in. He just hopes you have enough caution to stay hidden until Jimin leaves. 
“So,” Oh no, he’s making conversation, “been doing some painting?” Jimin disappears into the small hall where the bathroom is to get his “cuff-links,” or so he says. Assuming Taehyung was hiding someone in the house, that evidence wouldn’t be in the guest bathroom. He has to stay in there a little longer, he hasn’t looked around well enough.
“I was,” He was trying to do a little more than that.
“Found’em,” He opens his hands to show the cuff-links that he planted just now, “Hey, can I get some water?” 
“Sure,” Tae goes to the sink to wash his hands and Jimin leans on the large marble island, waiting patiently. Two plates. That’s the first abnormality that he notices. Two place-mats at the table and two sets on dishes in the sink, but it doesn't seem like he’s had any guest, there’s no car in the driveway.
“Y’know, I heard about that missing girl, one of your targets,” Jimin throws it out there, seeing if he’ll take the bait and give a reaction, “I bet that’s stressful.”
“It’ll blow over,” He opens the covert and takes out a glass, “how did you know she was my target?”
Damn, he shouldn’t have said that,
“You know I’m close with Minho, he mentioned it. He said it wasn��t your fault though, the investigators have an outside party helping, that’s why it’s not closing as fast. I have a little question for you,” He grins, “you don’t have to answer but Minho said it was a young girl, a writer, apart of a multiple target case, how did you do it?”
Taehyung sets the glass in front of him. “It doesn’t matter how I did it, as long as it’s done.” 
“You’re as stiff as they come, Kim,” Jimin decides to lay off before Taehyung grows anymore suspicious, “I don’t do target eliminations but if I did, I would spill some details sometimes.” He takes a few gulps of water and looks at Taehyung who hasn’t stopped staring at him for the last few seconds.
“Well, thanks for the water,” He makes his way to the front door and Taehyung is more than happy to walk him out.
“You’re welcome,” He watches Jimin pass through the door and when he sees him get in his car, he closes the door with a sigh of relief. 
He doesn’t go into his art studio for hours after Jimin leaves. He settles for busying himself with going over his next assignment over twenty times.
It’s getting harder and harder to keep this up, he never thought he’d get to this point. Something wasn’t right about that, Jimin isn’t his friend, and he’s never approached him like this—he knows something. When he makes his way upstairs, he tries to brush it off but here you are in his sanctuary to remind him.
“You were gone for a long time, who was that here earlier?” You mumble, barely sparing him a glance from your gaze off the balcony.
“No one you need to worry about,” He’s upset, that much you can tell, “I need you to go back to the basement for a little while, so you need to use the bathroom and eat.”
“What?” You can’t be hearing him correctly. “But why?...”
“Because I said so,” He stands in the doorway, arms crossed and posture uninterested, “let’s not have a repeat of last time,” 
“But I haven’t done anything wrong...” The light drains from your eyes and anxiety pits in your stomach. “Is this because I wouldn't tell you what I felt about the painting?... Taehyung, I-”
“It’s not that.” 
“Then what is it?” You walk inside and tears start to burn at your eyes instantly. You walk over to him and look to him with pleading eyes, hoping he’ll find it in his heart to change his mind. “Taehyung, I hate being down there, I’ll go to the other room, I won’t bother you...Please just don’t make me stay down there.”  Tears stream down your cheeks and 
“There’s an outside investigator who’s looking for you, the police are looking for you, and soon enough the man who hired me will be looking for you too. I’m trying to protect you and make you comfortable but you only like the benefits of getting close to me, you don’t actually appreciate that I’m giving you so much.” His tone is cold, no longer filled with that tinge of adoration and warmth.
“I do appreciate it!” You didn’t think he’d get so upset, you’re trying to save yourself now. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like I don’t-”
“I don’t wanna hear it,” He cuts you off, hands reaching for your arms but missing when you pull away. He grabs your arms with more than enough force and pulls you to him, and this time it hurts, “Don’t fucking pull away from me.”
“B- but,” You whine, wiping your tears as you try to comprehend why he’s acting like this all of a sudden. “Taehyung, please-”
“Shut up!” He lashes out, eyes dark and voice louder than it’s ever been before as his grip on you just tightens. “Stop whining like you’re hurting because you’ve made me feel a lot worse than this. You think I don’t notice what you’re doing? I’ve let you push and pull for as I could,” The volume in his voice seems to increase his physical size somehow and decrease your own, “but your little game isn’t fun anymore, I’m fucking sick of it now.”
“But I’m not-” You try to speak but he clamps a hand over your mouth and the horror of your worse nightmare washes over you. He’s trying to hurt you.
“Be quiet.” He walks forward until your back is pushed up against the wall, letting his hand fall from your mouth slowly so he can take your trembling wrist in his hands. 
“All this time, there was so much I could have done, that I’ve wanted to do, but I’ve waited patiently...” By the way he keeps biting the inside of his cheek, it’s clear that he’s teetering on the edge of something. 
“You’ve been starting to want it too and that’s why you push me away so hard, for some reason you like to deprive yourself.” He cracks a smile and looks up at you’re teary eyes, cooing at the sight of you falling apart.
“But you won’t admit that to yourself, or me. So, the best thing I can do for us is to lock you back up.” You shake your hand but he nods, a cynical glint in his gaze when you lean your head back to stop some of your tears. 
“Why’re you shaking your head no? That’s what has to happen. Here’s how it’ll work; I’ll blindfold you so you don’t even have to see me and I won’t have to see those pretty eyes anymore. Maybe even gag you so I don’t have to hear your sweet little voice say another word. Then I’d have the pleasure of taking you upstairs and giving you a bath each and every day, you wouldn't want to see scary-Taehyung, right? So that blindfold will have to stay on. You’ll just have to trust that the only eyes and hands on you are my own. And every day I’d come down to feed you and you’d know that I’d make your life a living hell if you dared say one word. There would only be a hand full of sounds I would allow you to make,” He tilts his head, amazed by how much color had left your face. 
“How does that sound? You wouldn’t have to be around the big scary-Taehyung anymore, is that what you want?”
Your lips tremble when you attempt to open your mouth and say something, it’s too scary. He’s scary. All this time, you’ve been waiting this out, trying so hard to stay calm and get close, but not too close. And this is the result.
“Answer me.” You shake your head, fearing the sobs that would erupt from your mouth if you spoke. But he doesn’t care, “Ah-ah, I’m not gonna treat you like a little baby just yet, answer me with your words.”
“N- no...” You push out your answer, chest heaving from trying to breathe through your cries.
“No,” He scoffs, mocking your answer, “well had you been the target for anyone other than me, that’s what would have happened to you. You either trust me, or you don’t, you can’t have it in the middle anymore.” Hands still firm on your arms and knee still anchored against you so you can’t move, it’s suffocating. “You have to choose, do you trust me or not?”
“I- I trust you...” You sniffle, nose burning red and your sight blurred from your tears.
“Ah, I don’t believe you,” He drops his hands from you, “I think you need to learn your lesson in the basement until I think you can be honest-”
“No!” You throw your arms around his waist and wail into his chest like a baby. “I- I trust you! I do, please don’t put me down there-” You hiccup, “I’m sorry, I really do trust you, I know you’re only trying to protect me, I get that now. I- I just want to stay with you, I wanna be with you.”
You want to be with him, a sentence he never thought he’d hear you say. He was just trying to scare you into revealing your true feelings but he didn’t expect you to cave that fast. He returns your affection, wrapping his arms around you gently. “Yeah, that’s what you really want?” You nod vigorously, your grip around him so tight it would take a hundred men to pull you off.
“Yes,” You look up at him, and just the quick, the Taehyung that you know is back. Those soft eyes, that gentle smile that wants nothing but to see you smile, make you happy. This is the only Taehyung you ever want to see. 
He caresses your hair, pushing it back from your flushed face. The way you’re staring up at him, it makes him feel like you’re the only people in the universe and he’s swimming in a galaxy made of the stars in your eyes. He wants to eliminate that little space. But you beat him to it. You’re on your tippy-toes and that pesky little space is eliminated and he plunges face-first into the seventh heaven that is you. You have to show him and yourself that you trust him, you want to prove it. Your eyes are sealed tight and you’ve given up all control in favor of him doing as he pleases.
“Mh,” He leans down to lessen your reach and puts your hands around his neck. Breathless, his lips start to tingle and he bites down to regain a more familiar feeling. You’re so soft, just like he imagined. It’s all too much but not enough all at once. 
He carried you away with loving arms, leaving all of his feelings to tip over like a bucket of paint and spill over the blue-stained sheets
* *  *
“Hey boss, I went to his place this morning,” Jimin finally got the call from Minho, “did I see anything? Not really. There were two placemats at the table, two sets of dishes, it kind of looked like he had someone over but there was no one that I could see. Maybe he had someone over last night, I don’t really know,”
“Did you ask about the target?”
“I did, but he gave me a bland answer. He said it doesn’t matter how it’s done as long as it’s done, his usual, sorry I couldn’t be more of more help,” Minho thanks him for his efforts before hanging up the phone. 
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“I’m just so scared for her,” She plucks her third tissue from the box in front of her, “I haven’t slept in days.”
Jin drove all this way to sit with your mother, he called her and she said her husband out on business. He couldn’t imagine being alone when your child is missing, the thought alone hurt.
“It’ll be alright,” Jin sits at with your mother, who at one point he thought had a chance of being his mother-in-law. “They’re doing everything they can to find her, she’s a fighter.” He grasps her hand.
“I know,” She sighs, crumpling up the tissue and throwing it in the bin, “you came all this way, have you eaten? I feel like cooking something.”
“I wouldn’t want to make you-”
“Please, I know you have the same favorite meal as Y/n, let me make it for you.” 
“Alright, thank you,” He smiles, watching her leave to the kitchen with a bit more light in her eyes. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he slips it out.
Min Yoongi: I talked to Suzy today and I can almost guarantee that her being missing is related to the handful of reporters who died at a conference she attended a few months ago. Why she was the only person that went missing makes me suspect an alternative motive. I’ll update you if anything changes.
Yoongi slips his phone back in his pocket and walks into the police station, it’s late but he hopes the cop over your case is still in. When he walks up to the front desk and asks, the receptionist points him into the direction of the person he’s looking for.
“Min,” The man smiles, extending his hand and dropping his conversation with the Sargent in front of him.
“Cha Eunwoo, so you’re the lucky guys on this case,” Yoongi has known Eunwoo since his days at the academy. He went FBI and Eunwoo went police department, both choosing paths that fit them the best in the end.
“Yeah,” He scratches the back of his neck, dismissing the guy he was talking to, “I know you’re working alongside us, a personal favor?”
“Something like that, is there somewhere we can talk privately?”
Yoongi doesn’t notice, but there’s a pair of lingering eyes that watch him and Eunwoo moves to his office.
“What’s going on?”
“I talked with the girl's supervisor today,” Yoongi walks around the desk, looking out at the pretty sunset, “I was informed that she went missing the exact same day an article of hers was supposed to be published. This article held details from the conference that have never been revealed. The article's physical and digital copies are gone. Cha, this doesn’t seem like you’re average missing persona case, there’s something bigger going on,” he rests his hands on his hips, bottom-lip tucked between his teeth. “I don’t want to tell her family that just yet, not until I’m sure.”
“You know what,” Eunwoo makes a thoughtful expression, “you could be right. There has been speculation around this case that the abduction was planned for a while now, I think for her sake we should look into that. Thank you Min, this could really change the nature of this case and it’s probably gonna get bigger, especially if we bring the parties at the conference into question.”
Jaemin was hanging outside of the hallway but runs to the restroom when he hears footsteps approach the door. When he’s sure there’s no one else in the stalls he frantically pulls out his phone and makes a call.
“Hello?”
“The case is about to blow up, the PI is onto us and I think the organization is about to be in jeopardy.”
“Damn it,” He sighs, “what do you suggest we do?” 
“You have to tell Kim to reveal the body.”
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Text
BTS Princes! au Pt. 2 (Maknae Line)
Part 1
A/N: 1) First of all, thank you all so much for your support. I didn’t expect all this feedback, and I REALLY DO APPRECIATE IT. 
2) I have some news which I don’t know if you’re going to like or not. I decided to do two more parts for the proposals, royal weddings and finally the pregnancy+ royal babies, because the dating part is SUPER LONG so it goes like this ...
Part 1: general info on the boys as Princes.
Part 2 (Maknae line): How you meet + first date + dating in general.
Part 2.5 (Hyung line): same as part 2.
Part 3: Proposal + royal announcement + wedding and honeymoon.
Part 4: Pregnancy + royal babies. 
3) I wouldn’t really mind if you guys want to drop some ideas for the upcoming parts.  
4) I hope you enjoy this part.😍 and don’t forget to tell me what you think.
5) I am so sorry this took me so long to post because I wanted it to be perfect.🥺
Prince Jimin:
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When it comes to the maknaes, Jimin is the most experienced among them in relationships.
He would be the most one to have had many girlfriends, but they didn’t work out.
Jimin met you under very weird circumstances.
To you, it was the worst day ever, until of course the part in which you met Prince Jimin because he made it better.
First, you woke up late which led you to run to work on your feet rather than taking a means of transportation that would have made you arrive later.
You were homesick for a while now seeing that you haven’t seen your family for a long time, which just added to your stress.
To top all of that your best friend had you set up on a blind date that you were not so excited for.
That night Jimin was out with some friends he hadn’t seen in a long time.
Then there you were ...
Dressed in a beautiful dress that somehow made you look outstanding among every person in that restaurant. 
The waiter led you to a table that was in Jimin’s sight.
And it was for two 🙂
Of course, you were here on a date ... what was he thinking!
A beautiful girl like you showing up in a dress like that must be here on a date.
Poor you! You kept waiting for your date, but apparently, he had things far more important than showing up.
Jimin had noticed from afar how you kept looking at the door every few minutes.
He thought that whoever stood you up was a douchebag.
You were intending to call your best friend and give her an earful, but after you order yourself a nice meal because you have had a long day and that guy couldn’t even call to cancel the date and let you use this wasted time on something more useful, so you owe it to yourself to have some good time.
Jimin was waiting a little bit after his friends left as he is always the last to leave out of these places for protection protocols.
He was going to leave but he changed his mind and asked his guards to wait for him. 
“Is this seat taken?” he asked after he cleared his throat to catch your attention.
“It was supposed to, but it’s not,” you said not looking up from your drink which you were sipping on so slowly making Jimin chuckle.
“May I?” he asked again before you gestured with your hands for him to sit.
He knew you were a foreigner because you didn’t recognise him immediately.
“Why do you look so familiar?” you said squinting your eyes at him.
Never really happened to him, but ... he started to panic.
“I feel like I saw you somewhere before.” you were trying so hard to remember where have you seen him.
“Maybe the news ...” he said giving you a hint.
“Are you some kind of celebrity?” 
you were pouting and he was giggling at your facial expression.
“Not really...no.” 
GASP
“Oh my God,” you started freaking out.
“Please don’t freak out,” he said looking around. Even though the restaurant had limited the number of their guests that night for the prince, there were still a few people around which Jimin had no desire of catching their attention, at least not with you freaking out.
He quirked an eyebrow when he saw you slightly leaning over the table towards him.
“Am I going to prison for addressing you informally?” 
The whole thing was so amusing to Jimin, here’s why:
First, you were whispering.
Second, he didn’t know whether you were talking seriously or not, but from the looks of it, you seemed serious.
Third, he was rolling his eyes in his head over the fact that people treated them as if they were some kind of tyrants who punish someone violently just because you did not address them the correct way.
Deciding to tease you because PRINCE JIMIN IS A TEASER.
“in fact, it’s a beheading in this case, but I’ll put in a word for you that 25 years of imprisonment is enough because you’re so amusing,” he said staring you in the eyes.
You were gaping like a fish with wide eyes as your shoulders sank and your face paled.
You knew that nothing would happen to you when you asked him that question, but your overly cautious self wanted to make sure that you were not in trouble for informally addressing the Prince, and you certainly did not expect this answer.
“W-w-what?”
Suddenly, Jimin burst out in laughter over your reaction.
“I am kidding. Please, calm down,” he said still laughing as he put a hand over yours to calm you down.
You calmed down as You and the prince started to have a normal conversation.
Now halfway through the conversation...
“Sooo?” he was looking at you like he wanted to know what went wrong with your night.
“Oh... long story short... I was stood up,” you said shrugging.
“His loss is my gain,” he said winking.
you blushed as you did not expect him to flirt with you like this.
But then again, Prince Jimin was known for being a huge flirt.
Surprisingly, that night turned out amazing.
Jimin insisted on paying for your dinner.
Although he had dinner just a few moments ago with his friends, he ordered another meal with you just so you wouldn’t feel shy and refuse to eat. How cute is that!
Jimin returned home that night with the biggest smile on his face that made Namjoon weary of him, and Jin thought he was drunk.
“You have royal engagements to carry out tomorrow with mum, and you return home drunk like that,” Jin said rebuking Jimin who sunk into an armchair looking at Jin with his mind elsewhere.
“Hyung, I am not drunk,” Jimin said with a big, fat smile still visible on his features.
“He’s not drun,.” Yoongi said as he smelled Jimin’s breath.
“See!” Jimin said giggling.
“Is he high?” Hoseok whispered to Namjoon.
Jimin was acting weirdly after your night out together, which made the boys slightly concerned.
He kept in touch with you after you both had exchanged phone numbers that night.
You treated him as a friend and tried not to expect more out of this friendship because expectations can really bring you down.
Jimin himself was quite confused whether to ask you out or not, seeing that you dodged his every attempt to flirt with you.
 But you didn’t do that on purpose...
It was a worldwide known fact that Prince Jimin has had his fair share of affairs with models, princesses and many other women with his flirty attitude...
So you tried not to take his flirtations seriously.
Prince Jimin is Bold ... okay?
like he will straight out say anything that comes to his mind.
“Is there something wrong with me?” 
he asked one day when he was over at your house laying spread on your sofa as if there wasn’t an army protecting the premises outside.
You looked up from your laptop, putting whatever it is that you were working on, on hold.
“What? Nooo, why would you say that!” you answered his question frowning.
“Then there must be something wrong with you!” he said quirking his eyebrows at you.
“Last I checked, there was nothing wrong with me?” you said in an almost question like manner.
“Then, why can’t you catch on any of my hints?” 
“What hints?” you put down your laptop because Jimin was confusing you right now.
“I have been flirting with you for a whole month now!” he said as if saying that to your crush is as normal as breathing.
Jimin never failed to make you gap like a fish because right now you were doing it for the millionth time just this week.
“What?”
“What do you want me to do more than that? I have been trying to show you that I like you and what’s worse is that you don’t even reject me like you made me doubt myself ... am I doing something wrong or what?”
“How can you be so straightforward?” you were amazed by his boldness.
“I just told you that I like you and that is all you care about!” he said scrunching his face.
“What do you want me to do?” you looked like a tomato right now.
“I don’t know .... maybe start with answering me back whether you like me too or not?” he asked now sitting up and looking you in the eye which only made you blush even more.
“I ....do?” you sounded like you weren’t sure but deep down you were willing to scream YES! I DO LIKE YOU, I MIGHT EVEN BE IN LOVE WITH YOU. 
but, again you were not as bold as Jimin to do such a thing.
“Why do you sound so hesitant?” he edged closer to you to look you in the eyes even more than before as if pressuring you.
He can be intimidating like that ...
You were sure you were going to die out of shyness and embarrassment.
covering your face you answered with “Cause you make me shy.”
Jimin chuckled over your cuteness as he took your hands off your face and held you in his arms.
“It’s okay sweetheart, there’s nothing wrong with liking me back,” 
He chuckled even more when he felt how tense your body was until you relaxed in his arms.
“Well, that settles it,” he got up and reached for his leather jacket.
“settles what?” you asked confused.
“I am taking you out on a date tomorrow night,” he said putting on his jacket.
Again, you were gaping like a fish as Jimin left.
Okay, so lowkey Jimin was panicking because in this short period he grew to like you ... a lot.
so, he wanted to impress you.
for the first time in his entire life, he went for the queen to ask her what to do.
“Good afternoon ma,” Jimin said approaching the queen’s desk.
“Good afternoon Chimmy,” she said looking over her glasses as she put down the pen she was using, and looking up at Jimin.
The boys got used to the Queen calling them by there nicknames, so they don’t bother with the face scrunch anymore.
“Ma! what do I do if I want to impress a girl?” he asked with hands behind his back out of respect (cute little chimmy, respecting his mama.😊)
The Queen was taken aback, seeing that Jimin doesn’t usually ask for her advice on dating.
“Strange! you never come to me for advice on dating... seems like this one is special!” she said taking off her reading glasses and smirking a little.
“Maaa,” this was probably one the very few times in which, you,  my dear reader can see Jimin blushing.
And he was blushing because it was now obvious to the Queen that you already have a special place in her son’s heart. 
“Okay fine, I won’t tease. Just stop whining,” she said chuckling at her son. Although they are grown men, they still seemed to preserve this childlike behaviour within that just made her heart melt.
Getting all the advise and help he needed from his mother, Jimin started preparing for your date right away.
So, the last thing you expected was to find yourself on the rooftop of one of the tallest buildings in the city, with decorations and fairy lights that could turn any gloomy place into heaven.
“Wow!”
“I am glad you like it,” he said pulling out a chair for you.
“It’s lovely,” you said still looking around.
Jimin chuckling at your cuteness for the gazillion time. 
Just know for sure that you didn’t stop blushing that night.
Jimin was being his usual charming self around you.
Except you noticed a few things that were not in his nature to do ...
Like how he hesitated to hold your hand even though he did it before.
Or, how he would gaze longer than usual at you.
He was trying so hard not to fall out of his chair every time you cracked a joke because he kept in mind how his brothers warned him about this habit of his. 😂
Him shifting or squirming in his place every few minutes when you were both inspecting the starry night.
You eventually caught on his plan...
The little mince was hesitant over whether he should pull you in his arms or not.
he did, well after coming up with the excuse of “wanting to keep you warm,” 😏
he was not confident like the usual.
“Why are you acting so weird, today?” you said turning slightly to face him.
“I am not acting weird!”
“Yes, you are!” 
“Well, because you’re making me nervous,” he admitted.
“What? Me?” 
“Yes, ... I mean you’re so quiet; I don’t know what’s going inside that cute, little head of yours,” he said as you felt him tug you closer to his chest while you looked up at him.
“Well, what do you want to know?” you asked shrugging.
It took him a few seconds of humming to ask you whether you like the date so far or not.
“I love it,” you said resting the back of your head on his shoulder.
“Glad you do, cause I had some help from ma,” 
You suddenly tensed, the queen helped Jimin with this...
sooo.... she knows about YOU.
“You mean the queen, herself, helped you with all of this?” you said turning to fully face him.
“Well, she gave me some ideas,” he said shrugging as if it wasn’t a big deal.
Something about dating a prince made you slightly tense.
You could not, still, get over the fact that for the last couple of months, you have been befriending a Prince. Not only that but now you’re dating him.
So, to know that the Queen, who by the way is a good ruler and is considered to be one of the busiest women on earth, took the time to sit with her son and help him plan this out is actually mind-blowing to you.
Jimin sighed knowing very well what you were thinking at that moment.
but he didn’t blame you. 
People always assumed that Kings and Queens don’t usually have a close relationship with their children. It was always and still is assumed that they marry to have children that enable their bloodline to continue ruling, so the idea of having this close parent-child relationship in monarchies seemed to be out of the question.
But he was sure that you would get used to it. I mean he always thought that there must be someone out there who would love him despite the chaos that comes with his life, and he had a feeling that you are this person.
“Sooo, did you run a background check on me before we became friends, or...?” you said trying to change the topic.
Jimin laughing because you’re so amusing and cute.
The rest of the night went on perfectly.
I don’t need to tell you that when the boys nagged Jimin after the date.
And of course, Tae was the first to provoke his twin to get his revenge since Jimin actually called him out on his girlfriend in front of the whole family during breakfast, before.
“Does mum and dad know about this?” Tae wiggled his eyebrows at Jimin.
“Yeah don’t worry Taetae, mum knows and I am sure she told dad,” Jimin said smirking at Tae.
“When are you going to introduce us?” Hoseok asked 
“You sound like mun when she gets excited when we see someone,” Yoongi said eyeing Hoseok weirdly.
“I am sorry fellas, but as you all know,” he got up and put his hand over Jimin’s shoulder as he continued, “ ... I and Jimin are the only ones among you who’ve been in the game for too long, and you know very well that it’s not that easy for us to settle just for anyone,” he said gesturing between himself and Jimin with his hand.
All the boys scoffing at Hoseok. 
“So I am curious to know about ..... the poor girl who is going to have to keep up with you.” Hoseok was laughing so hard because Jimin was hitting him for saying that.
later on, he did introduce you to them.
you came to see how down to earth they are.
they treated you like a sister
The Queen and the King approving of you right away.
“You know, it’s very rare when ma and pa approve of any of Jimin’s girlfriends,” Hoseok would say to you.
“Why is that?” 
“Well, aside from focusing on the girl herself, they tend to inspect our behaviour and judging from it, it seems like our little chimmy is serious about you,” Hoseok said winking at you.
This made you feel special. 
The boys always nagged Jimin around you because he’s such a softie for you.
Like he would have this big ass smile on his face when he looks at you as you speak or do something.
Proudest boyfriend EVER.
He’s also very touchy.
will always hold your hand or have you in his arms when you’re around.
He becomes so sad when the paps try to invade your privacy.
He really knows how they can be a pain in the ass and they would probably be one of the few things that can turn the confident, cocky Prince Jimin into a sad, small baby mochi...
because he wants to protect you and is terrified that you’d leave him because you can’t handle this type of life.
It would break your heart how he from time to time would bring up the question of whether you’d leave him or not because he can’t bring himself to think of a future without you.
So he’d try to protect you from the media as much as he can. 
along with his brothers who face the same problem.
so moving to the important stuff:
If you’re virgin and you intend to keep it that way till marriage, he would be very understanding.
because he was brought up to be a gentleman, not because he’s a prince but because it’s the right thing.
so he wouldn’t push you to do anything you don’t like.
But if you’re not ... then that’s a whole other story.
He would be a total beast ... don’t let his innocent looks deceive you.
loves to ruin you ... okay? 
Loves to spoil you.
like when he’s free, he would drive you to work and bring some breakfast.
he would try to make you feel like a normal couple.
Mostly he’s the big spoon.
would take your opinion on lots of things.
loves to listen to you rumble on and on about things you’re passionate about.
Him reaching the conclusion that he loves you more than he has ever loved anyone.
Prince Taehyung:
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Taehyung is the most romantic among his brothers right after Jungkook. 
He thought it might take some time to find “the one” for him. 
He definitely did not see it coming when he found himself attracted to you.
Let me tell you, my dear reader, how you both met.
You worked in different art museums because you were so interested in art history and how artists expressed their emotions through various types of Art. 
How many artists had come up with their own schools and philosophies.
It all amazed you.
And because of that, you were the top in your game. 
You’d guide the most important people through the museums explaining to them everything about the work of art they witnessed.
The hidden messages, codes they call it. Everything. You pointed it out with such poise and passion.
Which leads us to how you met the charming Prince...
being the best in this field you worked with the elite of the society a lot.
And somehow one night you ended up giving one of these people and their best friend, Prince Taehyung, a guide through the museum. 
Ofc the princes befriended many of the boys and girls close to their age from some families who had titles.
(Don’t worry they made sure to stay away from the snobbish ones.)
And Prince Taehyung was no different. 
Lately, he has been working hard. 
To the point that  Prince Jimin was begging him to take some time off. 
He called Tae’s friends to try and drag him out of the palace and do something fun. 
Which leads exactly to that moment of you giving them a private tour to one of Taehyung’s favourite museums. 
He has never seen a girl dress this elegantly (aside from his mother ofc.) 
He didn’t know how but somehow he was really attracted to the way you dressed. Even though it was simple attire, yet very chic.
Not only that but also the fact that you were so confident with how you were explaining everything, very passionate.
He could see the fire of excitement in your eyes as you explained some of your favourite pieces. 
You even told him about things he never knew, even though he came to that museum quite a lot. 
You surprised him.
It got to the point that he was so engaged with you in every statement you made that his friends got bored and decided to excuse themselves and leave as Taehyung refused to leave and have dinner with them.
So they decided to leave the Prince with you alone to roam the empty halls of the museum to show him some more paintings and statues. 
Taehyung realised that he made you stay quite a long time which was really late for a museum to be open at this hour.
so as a thank you, he insisted on treating you to dinner. 
“Your highness, you really don’t have too...” you said as you were putting on your warm long coat.
“No I insist plus I thought I had told you to just call me Taehyung!” he said quirking an eyebrow at you as he wore his long coat, too. 
“It’s not like you meet a Prince every day and befriend them!” you said adjusting the coat and the strap of your bag.
He gave you his famous boxy smile that you swear can make your heart melt, even more, when seeing it in person. 
He got you a table at a decent restaurant away from any prying eyes. 
And that night you both got to know each other more. 
Taehyung knew that he was attracted to you the first time he saw you, but, unlike, Jungkook who asked his girlfriend out on a date just a day after he met her, he preferred to take his time with you.
Ofc after staying out late that night with you, he was met by a smirking Jimin on his return to the palace.
“What?” Taehyung asked query of Jimin’s attitude.
“Nothing!” Jimin shrugged with a smirk still drawn upon his face. 
Taehyung just looked at his twin brother in confusion as Jimin left him, with the same smirk growing more and more with each step he took.
The next morning during breakfast, hell broke loose... 
“Sooo, wanna tell us about the girl from last night?” Jimin said nudging Taehyung as the poor thing choked on his tea.
He was going to ask Jimin how he knew about you, but the queen was fast to interfere in the conversation. 
“What girl?” She asked putting her utensils down.
The king quirking an eyebrow from behind the newspaper he was reading.
“TaeTae went out on a date with a girl yesterday!” Jimin said proudly with a smug look as he delivered the news down the table amongst his parents and siblings. 
“Please tell me it’s not that Rachel girl of the Lee family. She’s unbearable!” Yoongi said wincing at the thought of that snobbish girl flinging herself from one prince to the other, in desperate need to marry one of them. 
Taehyung mirrored Yoongi’s wince as he remembered what she did the last time they saw her.
Said girl thought it appropriate to come to the royal family’s charity event in a dress that barely left anything for the imagination. 
She spent most of the night throwing herself at each prince. 
Until Yoongi had finally told her off making the boys sigh in relief as she ran off in “embarrassment”. 
“Good God! No! not her.” Taehyung said shaking his head as if to fling the horrible idea out of his head.  
“Thank God,” Namjoon said adjusting his glasses and focusing on his breakfast, again. 
“Then who is the girl you went out with?” Hoseok smirked as he swerved the conversation back to its main lane. 
Taehyung glared at his older brother.
“It’s not someone that you know.” He said looking down at his plate.
The Queen could notice her son’s behaviour. 
HE LIKES YOU.
but he didn’t want to show it yet.
She knew from the way he was playing with his food and his refusal to look anyone in the eye. 
The Queen looked over to her husband as he noticed, too. 
“However it turns out ... I hope that you will introduce her to us soon.”  She said picking up her glass of orange juice. 
“Ma, it’s way too early for this,” Taehyung said groaning. He knew they were not going to let him be. 
All of them laughed at his childlike behaviour as they continued their breakfast. 
A few days had passed since then, but Taehyung managed to keep in touch with you. 
You, on the other hand, tried not to think anything of it. Your insecurities scolding your hopeful and imaginative side for even thinking about the possibility that the Prince might be interested in you. 
You thought “Who am I to catch the attention of the Prince?” 
You were not naive, you kept up with the royal families of the world, not only because you were interested but because you major in art history required a certain amount of knowledge about the royal families. 
And you knew that Princes usually marry girls with high status, if not, then to girls who were heiresses to wealthy families. 
And you, you came from a middle-class family. You were not poor, but you were not rich either... You were comfortable enough. 
While your insecurities were feeding off your doubts, Prince Taehyung was trying to come up with the perfect date. 
Until Yoongi suggested the best ideal date ever.
Your heart stopped, it almost did when you found the prince’s guards waiting by your office at the museum.
“Hi,” Taehung said bowing a little. 
“Hi,” you said dragging the word out as you were sceptical of why he was here. Wasn’t he supposed to be carrying out royal engagements? 
“Are you listening to me?” Taehyung said snapping his fingers.
“Hmmm... What?” you said shaking your head slightly.
“I asked whether you’re free for the next couple of days or not?” he asked repeating himself with a small smile on his face. 
He may not be showing it, but deep down, his heart was beating fast and his hands were sweating as he clasped them together. 
“Other than work then I’ve got nothing to do,” you said shrugging and moving behind your desk to sit.
“What would you like to drink?” you asked taking a seat.
“Oh, no don’t bother I am not staying for too long,” he said shaking his head and taking a seat as well. 
“Can’t you take a couple of days off from work?” he asked as he scratched the back of his neck, getting more and more nervous by the second. 
“What for?” 
Before he could answer, both of you were interrupted.
“ Y/N you got 15 minutes until the German tourists arrive, what’s taking you so lon-... Oh!” A friend of yours slash your colleague entered suddenly without knocking. 
“I didn’t know you had company!” Your friend said still standing in his place and looking Taehyung up and down.
You glared at him, “Jay, this is Prince Taehyung!” you said through gritted teeth. 
The poor guy was not a native of the country so he didn’t really know about its rulers.
 “Oh! I am ... I am so sorry.” he said bowing slightly. 
He stood there not know really what to do in the presence of a Prince.
“Jay I’ll be out there in a few moments,” you said dismissing him.
Nodding he got out as he closed the door after him as Taehyung quirked an eyebrow.
“So, you were saying?” you asked getting back to your topic.
Taehyung adjusted his posture. He didn’t know what came over him but he did not like that Jay dude. 
He felt like there was something between the two of you, but he ignored it. 
“Can you take a couple of days off?” 
“You didn’t tell me why?” you asked sorting out a few papers before you head out to the group of tourists. 
“I-I-I want to take you out on a date.” He said, quickly avoiding your eyes. 
“What?” you halted your movement.
“A date? ... you know the one where I take out so that...” He was in the process of explaining what a date is, very slowly as if explaining it to a little kid until you stopped him.
“I know what a date is?” you said giving him a funny look.
“So...?” he was waiting for an answer as his legs kept on bouncing out of nervousness. 
“I-I don’t know ... Why?” you said astonished at the fact that he wants to take you out on a date.
“W-w-why!!! What do you mean why?” He asked starting to stutter in fear of rejection. 
“A-a-are you dating that Jay guy? Is that why you’re hesitant to go out with me?” He asked now ready to run out of your office and disappear for the rest of his life because of the embarrassment he was feeling. 
“What? No, I am not. I-I ... I am just surprised that you want to take me out on a date?” You said lowering your head to avoid his gaze.
Taehyung sighed in relief to know that there was nothing between you and Jay.
“What’s wrong with me taking you out?” He asked tilting you chin up so he could look into your eyes.
“I mean .. I am not rich and I am not the daughter of a duke or a viscount. I have no title and I know it’s preferable for a Prince to date someone of status.” You said looking down again.
“What?” Taehyung scoffed at the idea.
“Well, that was in the past monarchies, but now it’s different... I mean yes some royals still stick to this rule but we don’t.” He said explaining to you in hopes of tuning down your fears. 
You gave him a small smile. 
“So, will you go out with me?” he asked caressing your cheek. 
You nodded shyly. 
He kissed your cheek and headed for the door. 
“Make sure to take off four days.” He said as he got out.
“Four days for one date?” You asked in confusion as you scrunched your nose.
“I’ll text you the details, just do as I say.” He said chuckling at your cute expression and giving you a peck on your nose button. 
You blushed, hoping that no one saw that. 
You did take a few days off as Taehyung said but things were getting very suspicious when he asked to pack a small bag for travelling.
You certainly did not expect to find yourself in an airport waiting to board a plane to fuckin’ Paris.
And as we mentioned in the previous part, precious TaeTae supports environmental causes so he refused to fly both of you out in a private jet. 
Instead, he flew you both in first class with the rest of the people.
Moving past that, here’s how the date went:
Tae, of course, respected your privacy and your personal space so he booked a room for you, knowing that you won’t agree to stay with him in one room, and you guys are not close enough to take such a step. 
“There is no time to waste,” he told you.
So, you unpacked and made sure to wear comfortable clothes for the day. 
He was waiting for you in front of his room as both of your rooms were facing each other. 
“You ready?” He asked flashing you his boxy smile. 
Taking your hand in his, he led you to the elevator and down to the lobby.
Well here’s a surprise.
You went to your destination on bicycles.
If you don’t know how to ride one, Taehyung would let you sit in front of him as he drove the bike with both of his arms engulfing you and your back pressed to his chest.
Cute! right? 
“You’re kidding me, right?” you gasped as you saw the Louvre in front of you. 
“What do you think?” he asked standing next to you inspecting your reaction. 
“Oh my God, it’s PERFECT.” you screamed as you jumped on him hugging him tightly. 
“I am glad you love it,” he said hugging you back.
“Oh God, I always wanted to come here since I graduated.”
“Do you know how many masterpieces are in there?” 
You kept on rambling on and on and telling him what you’re most excited to see.
He was so happy that he didn’t focus on anything but you as the two of you walked together hand in hand. 
“This is a painting by Jacques-Louis David. It shows you the coronation of Napoleon at the Notre Dame, here in Paris. It was completed in 1805 and belongs to the period of Neoclassicism.” You said standing in front of one of the paintings. 
Taehyung looked over the description of the painting to find the exact same info that you’ve just told him. 
He smiled at you and...
not being able to control himself he kissed you.
THAT WAS YOUR FIRST KISS WITH HIM
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MUSEUM (and not any museum)
His lips were so soft.
And the kiss itself was so gentle and warm.
and it was so slow as if the savour every moment of it.
he cupped your face into his large hands.
There was something about the way he kissed you that made your heart thunder in your chest.
unbeknownst to you, a guy was approaching the both of you as you two were busy looking into each other’s eyes.
The guy was taking photos of people around the city and he took two photos of you both and gave them to you. 
“Thank you!” you said smiling as he nodded and left with his polaroid camera.
The photos were one of you kissing and the other after you both kissed and were lost in each other’s eyes. 
you smiled as you both looked at the photos that captured a magnificent moment; it was as if there was no one but you two in this world. 
The focus was on both of you as the other people surrounding you appeared blurry. it gave the feeling of time pausing just for the two of you.
They were beautiful. 
You almost spent the whole day there as there was too much to see. 
“I can’t tell you how lovely today was.” You said munching on your food as the both of you spent the remainings  of your night at a Parisian cafe with beautiful French music playing in the background.
“You just wait until tomorrow.” He said excitedly adjusting his glasses and biting into his food as well.
“What? No way. Taehyung this is too much.” you said as the cost of all the things that he did for you today, starting from the first-class ticket to the fancy food you were eating right now, started to haunt you at the back of your mind. 
“Don’t you think that this is too much for a first date?” you asked saddened at the idea that people will definitely think that you’re a gold digger, and that’s not what you are.
He shrugged, “I just want to impress you.” 
“You’re doing an amazing job at it, but I don’t like you spending this much money on me,” you said voicing your concerns. 
You didn’t want the words GOLD DIGGER to be plastered all over the news with your photo accompanying it, giving the people a face to hate on and bully. 
You shivered at the idea of you receiving hate.
Taehyung could basically tell what’s going through your mind. 
“Don’t worry about the others,” he said reaching out for your hand.
He couldn’t really stop your fears because the paparazzi were ruthless, and they would do anything to sell their articles or gain more audience. 
His secretary and his brother’s secretaries have always warned them against the paps. They feed off your mistakes.
One mistake, just one. And they attack you like a hungry shark that smelled blood for the first time in a while. 
All he or his brothers could do for their loved ones is to try and protect their privacy. 
He gave a reassuring smile as he squeezed your hand gently.
“Let’s just focus on our date yeah.” 
You nodded pushing the thought to the back of your mind.
The next day He took you to the “Musée National Picasso-Paris”. 
You were in awe. Literally.
Everything that you saw was either studied through various slides of power points or huge books AND RIGHT NOW YOU’RE SEEING THEM IN REAL LIFE. 
You were going to faint ... you were sure of it. 
Fuckin’ PICASSO. 
“I feel like I can’t breathe,” you said holding on to his arm.
He looked down at you with a smile that almost made his eyes unable to see you clearly from how wide he was smiling.
“ I feel like I am dreaming” you squeaked and did mini jumps. 
“Yeah I could see that,” he said pulling you to him and hugging you from behind as you both stood in front of one of the paintings. 
“Come on tell me about this one,” he said pointing at the painting in front of you. 
You kept on explaining as you usually do, lost in your own world while Tae was completely lost in ... you. 
He was still hugging you from behind with his head resting on your shoulder as he kept on looking at you as you went on describing the details of the painting.
That day you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other (not in that sense you perverts)
I mean, you kept holding hands, he would put his hands on your lower back guiding you through the place, pecking your cheeks every once in a while, you disappearing in the warmth of his arms with your arms circling him etc. 
It was safe to say that you’ve never had a date like that and probably will never have ... because at this point you were sure that there was no man like Taehyung.  
Of course, the rest of the day was spent visiting other museums, having delicious snacks here and there. 
He would literally pull you to dance with him the middle of the street when you both heard a nice melody playing somewhere. 
your arms around his neck as his hands held your waist delicately as you both swayed to the music.
“Thank you so much,” you said looking up at him and into his mesmerising and beautiful eyes as you threaded your fingers through his soft hair.
“What for?” he said resting his forehead on yours. 
“For all of this of course.” 
“Anything for you darling,” he said pecking your nose button.
You smiled and blushed heavily at his cute accent. 
The third day was spent differently than the last two days.
He’d insisted that you rest that morning at the hotel because of the heavy sightseeing you both did was just too much for your body.
So you did, you almost slept in most of the day until there was a knock at your door.
“Good afternoon Miss. His royal highness has ordered this for you, and he has requested that you’d be ready by seven o’clock.” A waiter said as he rolled a small table into your room left immediately afterwards. 
You didn’t really understand what was going on seeing as you just woke up.
So you decided to freshen up first.
Walking up to the small table you found that Taehyung has ordered you a small snack, a vase of flowers accompanied by a handwritten note.
“Be ready by Seven o’clock, love. enjoy your food and wear something fancy for tonight.” 
It was still half-past two when you woke up so you decided to eat while you watched the T.V.
Slept some more cause why not.
After that, you decided to get ready, picked out a fancy dress with your favourite heels.
You were clipping your earrings when you heard a knock on your door at seven o ‘clock on the dot. 
“Oh!” you gasped as you were met by a beautiful bouquet of roses with Taehyung hiding behind it. 
“Good evening, jagiya.... ready to go?” he asked handing you the flowers.
 “Yeah,” you said as you took the flowers, and closed the door behind you.
I know this sounds corny, but let’s not forget that you’re dating a prince who can make anything possible... like:
Having dinner in the gardens of the Chateau de Versaille. 
“Oh my God, Tae!” you gasped hiding your blushing face behind the bouquet of flowers he gave to you.
“I thought we could have our dinner on top of the Eiffel tower, but everyone has been doing so lately, and I wanted our date to be unique,” he said opening the chair for you to sit.
You turned around and gave him a look that said: are you kidding me, you talk about it as if renting the fuckin’ Eiffel tower is something that can be easily done.
“I am not kidding, my cousin proposed to his fiancee there, last year,” he said shrugging and taking a seat from across you, mumbling how his cousin’s wedding should take place the next month or so.
“I don’t know what to say!” you said chuckling, still astonished at how such things were so normal for him.
The night went on smoothly.
you then took a walk among the warmly lit streets of Paris, hand in hand.
“ I hope you liked our outings these past few days,” he said looking down at you while his thumb drew small circles on your hand.
“Are you kidding me!” 
“You fly me out to fuckin’ PARIS, take me to places that I am sure I wouldn’t have been able to go to on my own, at least not after I slave myself into work to save up for a trip like this, do all of this for me and then ask me whether I like it or not?” 
“Tae if you proposed right now, I’d say yes even though we haven’t been together for long,” you said expressing how happy he made you feel.
“you would?” he asked seriously, squinting his eyes at you. 
“You’re not going to propose, are you?” you said eyeing him suspiciously.
if you learnt anything from this trip, it’s that Taehyung is unpredictable. 
you never know what’s going on inside his head.
Taking a step towards you, which suddenly made you weak in the knees because of his close proximity and the way he was looking at you.
“No, I am not ... not yet anyway,” he said closing the proximity as he kissed you passionately.
What? was he thinking of a future for the both of you already?
but then what was the point of dating someone if you’re not going to end up spending the rest of your lives together. 
“Don’t worry we still got time to ... think about this stuff.” Taehyung said as he broke off the kiss which left you in a daze.
He chuckled at your reaction.
He started walking, pulling you gently along with him.
Unfortunately, this daze you were both in was crushed upon your arrival back to your country.
Paparazzi got wind of your romantic getaway. 
and the moment you stepped foot out of the airport, both of you were swarmed by a sea of flashing lights.
Everyone dying to see the face of the girl who stole Prince Taehyung’s heart.
Your fears became a reality as you saw the tabloids the following day as some of them stated the estimated amount of money that Prince Taehyung has spent during that trip, but on the bright side...
Other articles were very supportive and excited about you as they somehow managed to get hold of your info. 
They talked about how you were a successful woman and that you already dealt with the upper class of the society before.
Some even went far as to expect you to be the perfect royal bride for the Prince, and how you would be a lovely addition to the royal family.
You tried to focus on the positive ones.
Taehyung was very supportive ... and overprotective. 
Dating him was one of the best things in your life. 
You didn’t really imagine that he would be the type to be touching you all the time. 
But that’s just how it is. 
He would ALWAYS hold your hand.
Give you small pecks, which your supporters found it to be cute.
When he introduced you to his parents, you were collected and calm but knowing you, he was sure that you were panicking on the inside. 
reassuring you through his glances.
And that’s the thing about him, he could just glance at you and know what’s going on inside your head. 
The Queen and the King amazed by your love for art.
The Queen even asked for your help.
“I don’t know if Taehyung had told you or not, but my nephew’s wedding will take place next month.” She said putting her cup of tea down
“Yes, he told me a few weeks ago,” you said, remembering when you had your last dinner together in Paris.
“Wonderful! well, I and my sister are having difficulty trying to choose the best church for him because his bride wants to choose one that holds a deep meaning to it, so I was wondering if you could possibly meet up with her, during your free time, of course, to get to know each other and to help her choose the church. I am sure with your experience in art your choice will be wise.” She said with a glint in her eyes.
“Me?” you asked smiling widely not believing what you just heard. 
You and the Queen were sitting alone when she asked you this favour.
“Yes, my dear I know how excellent you are at your job, Taehyung has told me so numerous times, and I am sure you’d be of great help.” She said sipping her tea calmly. 
Of course, you agreed instantly. 
Taehyung was surprised when you told him the news.
“Really, my mother did that?” He made sure to thank his mum for opening up to you and making you feel comfortable.
You nodding excitingly as he placed small pecks all over your face praising you.
He was over the moon when you were getting along with his relatives.
Taehyung was an understanding person. 
Like if you don’t want to take your relationship to the next level, physically speaking, then he won’t pressure you at all. 
he’d be so understanding and he was happy with whatever you gave him, really. 
Not once did he pressure you, unlike past lover who tried to do so. 
But ... if you’re willing to move on to the next level.
then you should know that Tae is a very passionate and gentle lover.
definitely would be the kind to hold hands while making sweet love to you. 
He won’t do anything wild unless you’re both on the same page. 
Or when he’s jealous.
Remember that Jay guy from your work.
Taehyung doesn’t really like him especially when he visits you at work to see him eyeing in a way that infuriates him. 
Then I am sorry to tell you that you’d take the rest of the week off from your work because you’d be unable to walk properly.
Taehyung was not possessive, okay? He just doesn’t like the fact that at any moment you can walk out on him. 
It was something that all of the boys suffered from, especially when Hoseok himself has experienced such a thing when his girlfriend left him so that she could live a normal life. 
Speaking of his brothers, they enjoyed your company.
loved telling you all about Taehyung’s embarrassing moments. 
kept teasing him about that small polaroid photo of you both in Paris that he keeps in his wallet.
Him screaming and pouting childishly for them to stop with their abuse. 
“Baby, don’t listen to what they’re saying,” he said pouting at you.
And who were you to make fun of him when he was pouting at you like THAT. 
You were a sucker for him. 
And he was whipped for you. 
Him hiding in the crook of your neck to hide his blushing face. 
You giving the boys a Look to stop teasing him.
“Whatever you two love birds!” Jimin commenting, making Taehyung fire back at him. 
“You’re jealous because you don’t have a loving girlfriend like mine.” He said tightening his hold on you.
Both of them tackling each other to the floor. 
Jungkook clapping excitedly next to you as he watched his older brothers banter.
Yoongi asking you why you agreed to date a moron in the first place.
All in all the boys definitely treated you as a sister.
They could see how you made their precious TaeTae happy.
Let’s talk about Tannie, shall we? 
Tae would gift you Tannie on your first anniversary after you had expressed your desire to have a pet. 
YOU LOVED TANNIE (I mean how could you not)
Both of you being Tannie’s parents.
Tannie being protective over you even though he’s so smol and won’t probably be able to save you in case something happened, still he barks like a pitbull at anything that he thinks might be a danger to you.
Taehyung telling Tannie to bark at any man who tries to approach or flirt with you.
You laughing because he’s being a dork.
Tannie sleeping with you both in bed like a baby. 
Prince Jungkook:
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Jungkook never thought that he would meet the love of his life while on a royal engagement. 
He met you when he was scheduled to promote the games he was launching in an event at your university. 
Looking back on that day, all he could focus on that day was you. 
You were so bold.
Like how you barged into the lecture hall, apologising to your professor for being late.
Which was a first for you.
As you barged in, you didn’t take notice of the young Prince standing next to your Professor who was shooting you daggers for not acknowledging the Prince.
Before running to your seat...
“Y/N!!!” your professor called and you could feel the irritation in his voice. 
Turning back v e r y slowly with a wince on your face... “Yes, Sir?” 
You didn’t want to be kicked out of class.
Jungkook chuckling quietly at the scene unfolding before his amused eyes. 
“This is Prince Jungkook, he is here to promote the games, remember?” 
Your professor said through gritted teeth as he tried to indirectly point your attention towards the Prince whom you should have bowed to and acknowledged properly. 
BUT your sweet innocent self didn’t catch on.
Moving your eyes from right to left as you tried to rack through your mind for the exact date of the Prince’s visit to your university.
Scrunching your face you went on and said...“Wasn’t that supposed to take place tomorrow?”
By now you were sure that your professor was facepalming himself mentally. 
Jungkook was trying to stifle his laugh because the whole thing was too funny for him.
Blinking a few times, You then realised that you HAVE to acknowledge the Prince. 
“Oh!....It’s our pleasure that you took the time to visit our university ... Sir?!” 
You were sure that your professor’s eyes couldn’t grow any wider as you felt that they may fall out of there sockets any moment now. 
You were supposed to address Jungkook with your highness, not sir. 
You tucked slightly on your (y/fav./c) headphones, which Jungkook assumed to be your favourite colour, as your head tilted to the side not really understanding what you did wrong. 
He thought you were really cute.
He chuckled loudly this time. “It’s not a problem professor, you can proceed to take a seat ...Miss?” 
Thankfully you caught on his questioning gaze understanding that he was asking for your last name.
You gave him a small smile as you bowed your head slightly ...”Y/L/N”.
Nodding back at you, satisfied that he got your name.
Definitely had his secretary run a background check on you, just to know the basic stuff nothing too personal. 
Going back to your seat, all he could focus on was ...
the way you were dressed so casually, somehow your style seemed to fit you perfectly and it caught his attention.
How the pen you were using was moving smoothly between your fingers when you were not taking down any notes.
How one of your knees was bouncing out of habit as you didn’t seem to be doing it out of nervousness. 
And finally, the fact that you were actually listening to what he was saying, unlike other girls who were shamelessly checking him out. 
One girl was bold enough so as to wink at him, but he paid her no mind as he shifted his attention back to you. 
And that was how you both first met. 
Returning to the palace that night he made up his mind that he wanted to ask you out. 
But being the nervous bunny he is, he didn’t know what to do, so he turned to the boys for help.
Jin told him to be natural and not to freak out, especially that it’s Jungkook’s first relationship.
And since most of the boys are experienced than him, they told him that it might be overwhelming for you, in the beginning, to be dating a Prince. 
Jungkook then suggested that he asks you out through a text and this was the boys’ reaction: 
 Yoongi sighing in disappointment. 🤦🏻‍♂️
Hoseok chuckling at his lack of experience on how to ask a girl out. 
Namjoon wincing at the thought. 
Jin immediately slapping him (Not harshly ofc, just messing with him.)
“Have you forgotten your manner? Is that how a gentleman asks a lady out?” 
You know how Jin yells at them? that’s exactly how he looked like.😂
Jungkook shaking his head no.
Jimin laughing at Jin’s reaction and falling out of his chair (falling of chairs is kinda his thing, you know?)
Taehyung snorting at his baby brother. 
“ You should buy her some flowers, most of the girls I went out with love it when I bought them flowers,” Hoseok said advising his little brother. 
“Yeah, especially if they hold a certain meaning,” Namjoon added agreeing with Hoseok as the rest of the boys nodded in agreement, too. 
“Don’t wear any of the fancy clothes that we wear during an engagement when you go to ask her out because it will cause unwanted attention, and it might make her uncomfortable,” Yoongi said as Hoseok nodded with wide eyes amazed that his twin pays attention to these details.
“Make sure to keep the bodyguards at a distance from the both of you. you don’t want to freak her out with the number of guards that follow you around!” Taehyung said.
“Yeah, the poor thing might think she’s under arrest,” Jimin said laughing as he imagined the situation.
Jungkook nodded furiously as he processed everything in his mind, and how he was going to plan your date. 
That day when he decided to pay you a visit to the university, he made sure to wear something casual that matched your style. 
He even got you one single flower which was a yellow Hibiscus that signifies delicate beauty. 
something which he sensed the moment he saw you.😍
Here’s an interesting fact...
The day he decided to pay you a visit to the university another guy was trying to ask you out. 
Here’s the funny part ... Jungkook was standing right behind you when that was happening.
But don’t worry before you could refuse the poor guy, he ran away in fear of a scowling bunny standing behind you. 
And because you didn’t feel him creeping up behind you, you jumped in surprise with a hand over your chest when you turned around. 
The first thing you noticed was his casual attire which was really good on him. 
He was silent for a few moments.
“May I help you with something ... your highness!” 
You made sure to address him correctly this time.
“Please, just call me Jungkook.” 
You nodded waiting for him to say what he wanted. 
Jumping again slightly as he almost shoved the flower in your face. 
He was so nervous, so excuse his clumsiness.
“It’s for you!” he said handing you the flower. 
“Oh! thank you, that’s so sweet... But what for?” 
“Would you do me the honour of going out on a date with me, tonight?” he asked scratching the back of his head. 
Why is he so formal? you thought. 
You couldn’t help yourself as you wanted to tease him a little and see his reaction. 
“Bold of you to assume that I am free tonight,” 
His eyes widened.
“I-I-I mean i-if you’re busy tonight, w-we can arrange ...” 
Poor thing was a stuttering mess. 
“No, it’s okay I am free tonight,” you said cutting him off.
He let out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. 
You giggled at his reaction as you did not expect The Prince Jungkook in all his glory to be this nervous to ask you out. 
“Great, I’ll pick you up at 5:45,″ 
“And wear something comfy,” He said using his fingers to count the things he was telling you as if he’s been memorising this and didn’t want to forget anything. 
“Alright!” you said giving him a small nod.
“I’ll see you later,” he said slowly backing away from you and giving you a small wave before wiping his hands on his jeans. Obviously to hide the fact that his hands were sweaty because he was super nervous. 
Somehow he made you smile even though he didn’t do anything. 
But it was the little things that made you smile.
Like the cute little flower that was resting between your fingers.
Or the fact that he put effort into dressing as if he’s someone normal and not the son of one of the most popular royal families. 
Shrugging to yourself you headed to the rest of your lectures before returning to your home with a feeling that you’ll enjoy the date. 
..... 
Worried is not the word to what you were feeling right now.
Panic... yes, it’s definitely panic. 
You really wanted to impress Jungkook plus it’s your first date since a while and right now you seem as if you’ve forgotten how to act around a guy on a date. 
And more precisely ... How to dress for the occasion!
Picking up your phone, you looked for Jungkook’s number through your texts.
He had texted a few hours prior to make sure that you’re still on for tonight. 
You refrained from asking him how he got your number because that would be the stupidest question of the century seeing that he’s a fuckin’ Prince and can easily get a hold of any info he needed. 
“Can you elaborate more on the comfy clothes aspect???” 
He replied almost instantly. 
“Wear anything that makes you comfortable, just don’t wear heels or a fancy dress,” 
Well, that’s easy. All you need to do is calm down and focus on choosing an outfit that looks cute on you. Easy.
You finally settled on a nice outfit for the night, and just as you were getting ready to wait in your living room, you heard a knock at the door. 
5:45 on the d o t.
Opening the door you found Jungkook standing there with a small bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. 
“Hi!”
“Hey!” 
Before you could invite him into your house, you heard someone clear their throat along with “Your highness!”... it was one of his guards.
“Oh, eh Y/N I am so sorry but can my men take a quick look around your place, just a security check!” He said as his eyes gave you an apologetic look. 
He’s annoyed at the fact that he can’t just have a normal date. 
“Oh, no it’s okay,” you said letting them get in and check your apartment.
Waiting by the door you made small talk with Jungkook. 
“You really didn’t have to bring flowers and chocolates, that’s too much!” you said as he handed you said items. 
“Oh, no it’s nothing really. I just want this date to be perfect,” he said scratching the back of his head. 
“Thank you!” you said giving him a shy smile.
“Everything is alright, your highness,” one of his guards said giving him a small nod. 
Jungkook thanked them as he entered your house.
He took a look around your place noting how cosy it is. 
“It’s not that fancy,” you said putting the flowers in a vase and adding some water to it. 
“I think it’s brilliant!” He said still looking around with an awed look in his eyes. 
and it is, Jungkook actually loved your place because everything in it screamed YOU. 
The perfect lighting.
The soft music that was playing somewhere which led him to the thought of you getting ready with some music on. 
And the colour-coordinated cushions on your warm looking sofa. 
Also, your place had this rich, soothing and warm aroma that engulfed him. 
He thought your place was P E R F E C T. 
You smiled at his comment. 
“I’ll just get my things.” you said pointing towards your room. 
“It’s okay. Take your time!” He said shrugging as he buried his hands in his pockets. 
Turning off the music that was playing in your room, you took your jacket and bag, turned off the lights and closed the door as you headed towards Jungkook who was waiting by the door.
“Everything set?” he asked as he opened the door for you. 
You hummed as you smiled at his gentlemanly attitude.
He led you towards his car truck. 
“A truck?” you gave him a questioning look.
“I don’t usually drive this beast around, I just borrowed it for tonight,” he said chuckling. 
“You’re not a serial killer, right?” you asked eyeing him suspiciously in a joking manner. 
“I can assure you, I am not,” he said laughing as he opened the door for you. 
“What about your bodyguards?” you asked he got in the driver’s seat. 
“They will be around, but keeping their distance,” he said starting the ignition. 
“Great! making sure that you kill me without anyone witnessing,” you said sarcastically. 
He laughed at your sense of humour. 
My dear reader, the date was P E R F E C T .
First, he took you to the beach to have a picnic while watching the sunset.
He even let you choose whether you wanted to have your picnic on the sand or on the back of his truck. 
You were even surprised when you found out he made the food himself
“You made all of this!” You were impressed.
It wasn’t much just various types of sandwiches, some fresh juice and a light dessert. 
But you appreciated the gesture. 
“Yup,” he said with a smug look on his face. (Proud Kookie 😍) 
He was proud that he managed to impress you. 
and this was just the beginning of the night. 
He would sneak a few glances at you.
Almost spilt his juice on his shirt when he was staring for too long. 
decided to use a straw so he wouldn’t spill anything. (and so he can stare as much as he liked.😂)
(You know how Jungkook looks at someone while sipping on his banana milk, that’s exactly how he would look at you.)
“Can I ask you something?” he asked as his curiosity was eating him alive.
“Yeah, sure go ahead,” you said biting into your dessert. 
“What were you going to say to that guy earlier? The one who was asking you out,” he asked trying to avoid your intense gaze that was trying to understand why he was asking such a question.
THEN, it hit you... he was jealous. 
deciding against teasing him, you answered him directly.
“I was going to say no,” you said as you watched his reaction closely.
“Really?” he suddenly perked up.
“I mean why?” he clear his throat pretending that he was disinterested and was just casually asking.
He got even happier when he knew that, that guy is a jerk who was running after your friend and when she refused him he decided to run after you. 
“So that’s why you were grumpy this morning?” you asked with a teasing tone. 
“Who? me? I wasn’t grumpy at all,” he said denying, but you both know that it annoyed him that someone else was asking you out. 
You both laughed it off as you enjoyed the soft waves of the sea and how it tugged the setting sun to sleep. 
After that, he took you to a drive-in movie. 
which you got super excited about because you’ve never done it and wanted to do it for so long. 
Poor Jungkook almost jumped in his seat when you screamed in joy as he backed the back of his truck to a big screen.
He was so happy that you’re happy. 
He thought you looked so precious when you started clapping in excitement. 
He even put down a sheet and some pillows so you can sit comfortably, and when you both sat down he put a small blanket over the two of you in case you got cold. 
Would definitely be the kind of guy to make the move, you know what I mean? 
Like he’d pretend to yawn.
stretch his arms. 
And finally, put one arm over your shoulder. 
You ofc realised and chuckled at his cuteness.
Kookie was on top of the world at this moment.
especially when you leaned into him and put your head on his shoulder. 
He prayed that you wouldn’t feel his quickened heartbeats.
He was sure his chest was going to explode. 
He felt your head moving so he looked down at you to see you looking up at him. 
he blushed at your close proximity.
blushed even more when you thanked him for this beautiful night. 
“It’s nothing, and I already told you I wanted it to be perfect,”
“It couldn’t get any better!” you said giving him a big smile.
“Well, that where you’re wrong,” he said as he gently pulled you close. 
“Wait there’s more?” you asked as you suddenly sat up.
he almost whined at the loss of your warms. 
“Yeah!” he said rubbing small circles on your back.
“Jungkook, this too much,” 
“No, it is not,” he said pulling you back to him. 
Afterwards, my dear reader, he got you some ice-cream, and you both ate it as you watched the starry sky, away from the blinding lights of the city.
“It’s perfect!” you said astonished at the amount of the stars that are visible in the dark night.
You are perfect.
Jungkook commented in his head as he stared at you the same way he did when he was drinking his juice. 
“Right?” you asked when you didn’t get an answer from him. 
He hummed while nodding at you. 
You smiled as you licked into your ice-cream and looked back at the sky. 
You really hated that the night was over. 
you wanted to spend more time with Jungkook. 
Ever the gentleman he is, he dropped you right in front of your house, opened the car’s door for you and walked you to your door.
“I had the loveliest night ever!” you said holding onto your jacket. 
“Me, too! I am glad that you enjoyed our date, means I can take you out again?” he asked scratching the back of his head for the millionth time tonight. 
“Yeah, you definitely can!” you said slightly rocking back and forth on your heels in excitement.
He chuckled at your cuteness. 
“I’ll see you later then!” He said giving you a kiss on the cheek and left.
You cursed him for being a gentleman who doesn’t kiss on the first date. 
He told his brothers how well his date went, and they were so happy for him. 
“Oh look our little kookie is all grown up,” Taehyung said squeezing his cheeks. 
Making the others laugh.
“Did you kiss her?” Hoseok asked with a sly look in his eyes. 
“A gentleman never tells,” Jungkook said blushing and avoiding his gaze.
“I tell you what? We raised him well,” Jin said laughing and patting Jungkook on the shoulder. 
The others laughed and nodded their heads in agreement. 
Jungkook spent the night texting you. 
you guys ended up having more dates. 
He gave you a mind-blowing kiss on your second date. 
kissing became your favourite hobby for the following days.
he loves spending time at your apartment. 
Your relationship wasn’t a secret for too long. 
obviously someone took pictures of the two of you on your fourth date. 
The Media went C R A Z Y. 
Paparazzi followed you everywhere. 
Jungkook was afraid that you’d break things off with him because of the pressure. 
especially when people started to criticise your every move on the social media and say that you’re not enough for there Prince. 
Which was very tormenting to you because let’s face it, Jungkook is not called the golden maknae for nothing. In your eyes he is the definition of perfect, so you kinda felt that you were not enough for him. 
Jungkook almost cried when you opened up about this particular insecurity because to him you are more than enough and, he couldn’t bear the idea of you feeling low or sad.
And with his encouraging warm hugs and words, you managed to go through all of this. 
His mother was a little disappointed that she found out that her youngest was dating through the media. 
but instantly understood Jungkook’s intentions when he voiced his insecurity of you leaving him and that he was not sure if you could take it. 
He promised to make it up to her by introducing the two of you. 
which made her extremely happy. 
You never thought in a million years that when Jungkook gets mad he looks like a bull that is ready to kill. 
it happened once when you were both out, and one of the paparazzi dared to take hold of your arm demanding that you “give him a smile,” 
Let me tell you Jungkook was ready to pounce on him. 
Thank God, you are so smart that you know that they’re doing so to get a reaction out of him.
so you stopped him before he could punch the guy.
“Kook, it’s not worth it. They just want to rile you up to get a reaction out of you for their headlines next day,” you whispered in his ears as you tried to calm him down.
“Don’t touch her, ever again. Do you understand!” He said glaring and point his finger at the guy. 
The Palace had to release a statement asking the Paparazzi to stop their assault and not to invade the personal space of any of the Princes’ girlfriends/fiancees. 
When you met the Queen and the King you were so nervous, but Jungkook assured you that they will love you. 
And they did. 
in fact, they saw you as the perfect match for Jungkook. 
The queen was so happy that Jungkook has found a girl who could balance his over energetic self. 
she was sure that he’d propose to you.  
And you loved them both as they treated you so nicely. 
Jungkook would sometimes stay at your place for days and vice versa. 
The first time you stayed at the palace you were overwhelmed. 
But he managed to take to your mind off of it. 😉
Speaking of which:
if you’re a virgin and want to wait till marriage
Jungkook would totally understand
He is the most understanding baby ever... like
when you guys are in the middle of a really heavy make out session.
you can definitely see/feel how HARD it is when he pulls away reassuring you that everything is fine.
he never complains about it. NEVER. 
But... if you’re not waiting till marriage, then...
Prepare yourself for the wildest sex of your life
here’s something that I’ve wanting to say for a long time: ... 
Jungkook is a sweet bunny in the streets, but a wild bunny under the sheets.
LOTS of hickeys ... okay? 
like he doesn’t care, deal with it.
Prefers to be passionate.
would be the kind to hold you close during love making. 
won’t care if there’s photos of the both of you being affectionate all over the media. 
but bear in mind that he’s a Prince and was raised well, so he wouldn’t do anything risky in public. (Unless he’s sure you wouldn’t get caught)👀
He is the best cuddler. 
likes to be both the big or the small spoon depending on the mood.
like if he had had a rough day he’d definitely be the small spoon.
he loves it when you run your fingers through his hair. 
One thing he ADORES is when you’re needy ... not needy as in horny but like yearning for his warm hugs, small kisses, his eyes looking at you like you hang up the stars every night. 
he remembers that one time when you where having a hard time at college and when you saw him ... you just ran into his arms throwing yourself for him to catch you, and you looked up at him with a pout and said “love me!”. 
HE FOUND IT SO FREAKIN’ CUTE THAT HE THOUGHT HE MIGHT DIE ... OKAY?  IT MADE HIS HEART MELT.
You on the other hand had noticed a look in his eyes in that moment like you’re a small puppy that he must protect at all costs. 
Since that moment, and you both knew that he’s a sucker for you especially when you need affection. 
When you guys are out together, and there’s a huge crowd around you, he makes sure that you’re safe. 
like he puts his hand on your lower back. 
or grasps your hand in his, tightly. 
would always look at you every few seconds to make sure you’re next to him. 
His brothers love you. 
they would be so excited to tell you about all his embarrassing moments as a child. 
The queen showing you Jungkook’s baby pictures that were not released to the public.
You cooing because HE IS A CUTIE. 
Attends your graduation with his brothers. 
like they’re so proud of you. 
Specially Kookie.  😍
Takes lots of pictures of you.
Will spoil you for weeks after your hard work in your senior year.
He would even celebrate with you and his brothers when you get your first job.
Him lowkey being mad that you wouldn’t allow him to help you find a job because you know he’ll use his connections for you if he has to.
A/N: Please do not hesitate to tell me your opinion or I’ll cry.🥺🥺🥺🥺
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lifesux4mostofus · 3 years
Text
I no longer care.
But that’s a lie. 24 hours unable to end a nightmare that kept getting worse and then 3 hours of restless sleep before my body finally let me rest. For a split second it was a foggy weird dream. That pit in my stomach wasn’t there not til the next second. When everything came rushing back.
Hitting me w so much force that my body started involuntarily shaking bc suddenly my skin was cold to the touch of a fur blanket. Suddenly my mouth was dryer and my thoughts start moving faster remembering everything I was at the bliss of almost pretending didn’t happen.
Trying to remember what I felt like before the one person in this world betrayed me and himself by acting on something he knew was wrong. You knew it was wrong and did it anyway.
Being so suffocated by your own thoughts and so cold bc suddenly all warmth is gone. And hell I have a cat fast asleep in peace on my lap. But I can’t even feel his warmth. I can’t even move much more than my two thumbs.
I have to go to work today. I have to pretend I’m okay today. And the next day. And the next day. And then I have to be stuck with you for nearly 9 days of vacation that a small part of me is SCREAMing at me to just tell my boss I’ve changed my mind. I want the work. I want to get away from you. I want to force myself past the part of my mind that is suddenly so hellbent on destroying another piece of my soul.
Depression is bad but that lasts a few days and then I feel like I was being dramatic and move on. This is. This is something I don’t know what to do with. Idk if there is a moving on. I hit walls of anger. Betrayal. Self loathing. Disappointment. And then just numb like maybe if I just wallow in my self pity of the irony of my life it’ll all stop. Or maybe I like this darkness bc I am grasping to hold onto it. Something. Anything. Any kind of comfort to close a wound of betrayal I didn’t know was ever going to open again.
And now it’s flowing and it won’t stop. Like a busted pipe. It won’t stop. I can’t turn it off. I wish I could turn it off. But rn I’m just stuck in reruns of everything inside my own head. No desire to eat. No desire to want to do anything aside from crawl back in the dark hole that for a few hours of rest I was able to escape to and pretend I’m over it and moving on bc I don’t remember what I need to be over or moving on from.
I asked to know. But what’s worse is you still tried to hide it after trying to be honest. I should’ve listened to my gut. I had that feeling. That feeling that something was wrong but you couldn’t put your finger on it. I told myself I was being dramatic and crazy two weeks ago for having that feeling. Turns out a part of me knew before you were willing to tell me. Maybe you never would have if I hadn’t pressed the issue. There’s a beauty in bliss. But I prefer to chaos of knowing. It’s a reminder that this. This is why I don’t let people in.
2.5 years of a relationship suppose to lead to forever. Leaving me feeling like it didn’t exist. All of the good times gone. You can blame me for drinking. But you can’t blame me for trying to enjoy my life and then the destruction coming towards you. You set things in motion that neither of us could begin to comprehend with choices I wasn’t aware you were making. I actually thought it was solely me that was the problem. You have a way of convincing others that your chaos if worse than theirs so if you feel it you’re a martyr. How pathetic. It doesn’t erase how I handled things. You were so bothered I was acting like your ex you chose to become worse than mine. Unfaithful. A cheater. Worse bc maybe not even physically but mentally. You stroked yourself to a woman I asked you not to speak to two years ago. I still have her and her exes harassment messages.
I don’t know what I’m suppose to do with this. My thoughts all seem chaotic and clustered that I’m not even sure if anything makes sense that I’m writing. It’s funny that I’m writing this knowing your at the edge of your seat waiting for me to write it. Like you deserve some kind of explanation of what’s going through my head. You don’t. The second you let other women into your thoughts is the second you didn’t deserve mine. But I’ll give it to you freely. Bc maybe you’ll feel something from reading this. I don’t know if you can fix this and I want to hate you for doing this knowing what it would break in me. I can’t just heal over and since I’m not drunk anymore and capable of yelling my betrayal at you pretend that now I’m sober and I was being too dramatic.
Hilarious that you’re such a whore that other woman and men have always been there. The whole time in your head. It was never just about me. You always wanted more and deep down maybe I knew that. But do you feel it? That sense of if I lose her I’ll never fix this hole? That it cuts so deep to the bone that you don’t know how to breathe? Or is that just me? Maybe you don’t feel anything at all bc you have been so hellbent on thinking w your dick and betraying me maybe you’re just in love w the idea of me. A part of me wonders. If only he’d actually touched someone. Maybe I’d have the strength then and things wouldn’t be so grey bc it’s not just black and white for me to stay or leave. 60$ and rumple you use to say to demean my choice in something. Funny that now it’s 60$ and then some to destroy nearly three years of a relationship. Even tho you’ve called me wife since day one. If this is your marriage choices? I don’t want it. You think I’m in love w the idea of you so much and that I only wanted a kid. And instead of loving me, you destroyed that love and all that’s left is my kid. That looks just like you, poor girl. She is the only good thing. Would you want this for her? If a man she loved did this to her and she felt like this.. would that be okay with you?
Lucky her. That this isn’t about her. I hope to shield her from hurt like this. I hope to give her and grow the strength so if this happens to her she leaves. She respects herself enough to leave a man like you doing this to her. Next time you jerk off to another woman remember that. Remember that you wouldn’t want this for her. You wouldn’t want the love of her life doing this to her knowing how betrayed and disgusting it’ll make her feel. I hope it kills your boner every time.
On that note I don’t have much left to say. You disappointed me. And I don’t know what to do with that. I can no longer decide between what’s best for her or best for me. I can no longer think much more than today and just dragging my feet to the next few. I don’t have it in me to make a choice to leave you or make the choice to stay. Idk how long I need to heal. Or if I can. Idk if I’ll ever trust you again bc your loyalty is no longer loyal. At this point I was going to say you might want to change your bio on Twitter. “Loyal as a dog”. You keep trying to say “it’s not like that”. It is like that. You look at your dick. You look at a photo and you pretend you aren’t disgustingly beating off like a creep you pretend that girl is on your dick. I know how it works. I was 15 once too. Before I decided the real thing was better than a paid for photo or even a free one. You keep making excuses for you. Poor joe. Poor poor joe and his horny thoughts he can’t control. Fuck. You. You are not the victim here.
Dogs are better than you. Dogs take time to heal before moving on from a dead owner. Some will even let themselves die.
Good people don’t stick around to play house while rubbing their dick to whores you pay for or even free ones when their girlfriends in bed waiting for them. Good people don’t destroy their families for a nut.
I am tired. So please just let me be. I don’t feel sorry for you. You did this to yourself. You did this to us.
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jjba-hell · 4 years
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Fate and Fortune
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I don’t know if this can be classified as Part 2.5 or Part 3... y’know let’s go with Part 3
Content warnings: pretty mild if not for the ominous feel, abandonment themes and some possible PTSD, nightmares and sleep paralysis (implied but not mentioned) and maybe some blood but not gore or violence.
So the big explanation I’m putting down for this one is that Vera holds the Wheel of Fortune as her stand- as I’ve said, my canon now, the one in canon do not exist ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ. I’ll probably elaborate on how it works later, for now- you’re getting breadcrumbs -w-
For the lovely @risottoneroo (please lemme know if I should cool it with the tagging lol (*´ω`*)
Part 1
Part 2
1.4 K words
It had been a few months since the incident in the place Vera once called home. Sitting at a café, overlooking the river Nile, Avdol and Vera had just polished off a pot of tea together. It was somewhat a celebratory brunch, Muhammed Avdol had won custody over Vera Astbury- the big benefactor that was sponsoring her schooling abroad being what won the courts over in his favor.
“So, who is this oh so generous benefactor?” She asked as she brought the cup to her lips once more- hoping she was veiling her distaste at being shipped to a boarding school in the following months well enough behind polite banter. If this idea was Avdol’s or the benefactor’s idea, she was still unsure- but her reluctance remained.
“You’ll meet Mr Joestar as soon as he returns for business in England. You really don’t have to break your head about who he is until then. I’ll keep you updated.”
Avdol had a tendency to avoid speaking on the court processions for her custody. She’d been upset by both her families’ reluctance to take her in at her time of need, the bags she’d packed to be shipped to one them, standing in Avdol’s living room for one too many weeks. Until he cleared a room for her and asked her to unpack.
The smile tugged at the corner of her lips without her knowing. Avdol caught the gesture and calmly placed his cup of tea back in its saucer. “And now I wonder- what could have made my answer so amusing?”
Vera shrugged as she swirled the stray tea leaves around the bottom of her cup. “For a moment you sounded like my dad-“ her smile slid off her face as the tea leaves settled.
Divination by tea leaves was something she’d laughed at when Avdol first taught her about it but now- with all her readings, even the ones she did unintentionally as practice to get a feel for how much tea she needed to move the tea leaves around- all ended in the same black dog figure stalking the bottom edges of her cup.
To her, it felt as though she was plunged ankle deep into the tea in the bottom of the cup, as though the image mirroring her own grief and fear in the tea leaves would consume her as well.
A graceful brown hand stretched over the mouth of the cup, obstructing her view of the leaves.
“You know better than to read into your predictions now. You need to grieve first.”
Vera’s gaze met Avdol’s across the table, the concerned frown on his face enough to remind her that she wasn’t completely alone.
“Would you have me organise a psychologist at the boarding school for you?” He sighed as he withdrew his hand from her cup.
She chuckled and cringed at the same time. “I appreciate you looking out for me but I am not looking forward to leaving.”
“I know, Vera. But whatever or whoever was after you hopefully won’t leave Egypt for you. And… now don’t look at me like that. No matter how desperately you want revenge, you’re much too young to go out and look for that kind of trouble.”
Vera reverted her scowl to a smirk, she wasn’t going to fight him, the last thing she wanted was to seem ungrateful for what he was doing for her. “Watch out Avdol- if you let me get too far under your skin, I’ll give you grey hairs.”
His eyebrow shot up as he folded his hands into his robe sleeves- “You underestimate my tolerance, Vera. I know you jest most of the time, even if its just a way for you to cope.”
Vera’s words caught in her throat- the clever retort gone before she could give it some voice. With a clear of her throat she folded her hands on the table. “Perceptive. I’ll keep quite then, I know when I’m outwitted.”
“I thought so.” Avdol chuckled, signalling the waiter for the bill.
Living with Avdol had turned into an agreeable co-habitation, a bit of an adjustment for both of them but she felt safe under Avdol’s protection.
In terms of basic necessity she was well taken care of- physchologically she was still struggling.
To Vera, the development of her stand did the exact opposite to what she felt like it was supposed to do- or at least what Avdol had told her it would do. Instead of manifesting her own strength, she felt more vulnerable.
Avdol had shown his own stand to her once he realized she had some control over her own. Magician’s Red radiated an intense heat that felt like it would suffocate her if he left them out in the room too long. They were considerably larger and more opaque than her stand- intense glare matching their user’s.
“I call them Magician’s Red,” Avdol had explained. “You will find the name for your stand soon, I’m sure.” At the time she shrugged off her own ability as useless. She was just a bit more lucky whenever she hovered her stand’s extended hand over a dice. She couldn’t image her stand setting having any more power than that- the envy of seeing Magician’s Red starting the bonfire outside one evening making itself evident.
To Vera, her stand only hovered a few inches above the her bed’s edge, cross-legged like a cat watching her struggle to make her limbs move or violently jerk herself out of a nightmare. It only let her feel guilty as she playfully stole a win from Avdol in a game of cards. Only a few weeks later she realized her stand could do more than steal luck.
“Ahhh shit.”
Avdol’s head popped in around the corner at her cradling her bleeding palm over the kitchen sink.
“What happened.”
“I dropped the knife and caught it at the blade.”
Avdol cringed as he ducked back into the hallway. “I’m getting the first aid kit.”
She pulled the unplugged the water in the other sink and turned the water on to run over her wound.
Without warning her stand emerged and took hold of her hand out of the water.
The dial that replaced their wrists twisted as they hovered their palm over hers.
Obstructed for a moment, Vera couldn’t figure out what was going on until the blood drops in the sink disappeared. For a moment she thought the water had rinsed it away but as her stand’s hand moved away from hers the wound in her hand was gone. Not even a scab left in its place.
“Now THAT is a useful trick.” Avdol laughed as her stand de-materialized, Vera turning her hand in front of her in disbelief.
Time and Fortune moved in tandem to one another- at least that was what her stand had her believe. Like time marched beside the changing seasons of the world, time was tied to the Wheel of Fortune.
On her last day in Egypt, Vera sat across Muhammed on the rooftop of his home.
“I see you’ve gotten a good grip on summoning your stand.” He hummed at her stand hovering just over her right shoulder. “Their presence is strong, much less translucent than it used to be.”
Between them sat a tarot deck she had bought on a whim- it’s maker had gingerly opened the box and let her run her hands through the cards, it’s irredescent gold beauty captivating her.
“How much?” She said as she pulled her wallet from her bag.
It was her very own deck and now- with the cards already shuffled and placed face down between them for a reading, she was ready to start her first reading with them.
“Let’s hope there’s not a Death Card for this reading.” Avdol sighed.
She smiled, spreading the cards out onto the dealing mat. With her intent set, she picked two cards- a card that would represent what she had to leave behind and a card that would name her stand.
The first card was flipped and the smug smile on Avdol’s face was all she needed to see.
Six of Swords reversed- “the Resistence to transition.”
Her gaze shot up at the cocky bastard, Vera groaning in frustration. “Yeah yeah yeah, I need to stop fighting my relocation.”
In defiance she flipped the second card and to no surprise the Wheel of Fortune card looked back at her.
“I wish I could say I was surprised.” She sighed.
Avdol chuckler quietly, “So how do you refer to them in your mind?”
Vera shrugged as she put her cards back together. “I just keep calling them Fortune in my head.” Her gaze looked her own stand over- it wasn’t particularly impressive, looking like painted terracotta stacked in disks to make up a body not too different in shape from her own.
“Suits them.”
With a heavy sigh Avdol rose up and guided her down the stairs where her bags and the Speedwagon foundation security stood waiting for her.
She assumed her benefactor must have been a higher up within said foundation if he was going this far to make sure she got the boarding school safely.
Vera rolled her window down and peered up at Avdol, a bitter smile on her face as she sat in the car and he remained standing outside.
“Don’t call me and tell me you’re lonely, this was your idea.” She taunted.
He rolled his eyes and then folded his hands over his forearms.
“I was hesitant to tell you this before but I think its fair you know.” He started and the words that followed had Vera floored.
“You’re the first person I’ve ever met to survive a stand fever. Keep that in mind before you think you’re too weak to go on your own.”
Vera’s widened gaze couldn’t look away from his face, as if her next blink was going to make him disappear before her very eyes.
“You’re serious? The first?”
That same sadness returned to Avdol’s eyes, but a mismatched smile returned briefly as he straightened up once again and with a fold of his hands into his sleeves said: “Don’t let that information go to your head.”
Vera smiled back, watching the window roll up between them and Avdol become smaller in the rear windscreen.
“Oh, this talk is far from over Muhammed Avdol.”
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katsukikitten · 5 years
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Weighted
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A/N @zbops for you bb as per your request. I hope that this lives up to at least half of your expectations. Thank you so much for supporting me and for encouraging me. Enjoy it and may it help you just a bit more. I send my love XOXO Kitten 💋
It was not unlike you to occasionally stay up late into the night. Late enough to see the moon rise high in the inky black sky watching the constellations move by at a lazy pace.
But to lie awake long enough to greet the sun was abnormal.
At least it was supposed to be abnormal now. Before it was your normal to lose sleep as fat droplets slid from unblinking eyes. Thoughts consuming you with nothing and everything at once.
You thought yourself better.
Not cured, not immune, but well.
Fine and level headed for once.
Yet here you lie again unable to will your exhausted body to sleep as you replay failures from pasted years.
Like an old film one must study to improve but every time it is rewatched another haunting flaw jumps out.
And there is nothing you can do to right your wrong.
Frustrated tears well in your eyes now as you watch the clock for the second week in a row burn an obnoxious 3 am into your retina.
Furious as you thought you had put this problem in its place. That you had long ago learned how to make your demon small and to lock it away.
As with everything in life it adapted, slipping through the bars of its cage only to find itself looming over you once more. Delighting in your anguish as it exploits the coping mechanism you developed.
Turning it on its head to haunt you, to hurt you. To put you in your place as you thought you did it.
Although it knows this will be enough to pain you, it wants to do more.
Truly a petty being as it steals your voice, worming into your head just to whisper.
"Did you really think a few extra hours of training a day would make a difference? That you would suddenly be  sought after as a pro hero? You could barely get an apprenticeship and look at how you're failing at that!"*
This dredges up your failure from last week, your first offical mission as apprentice.
What was supposed to be a normal patrol quickly unraveled into a full on street brawl.
You aided your hero holding down the perpetrators bodies with your quirk, straining to keep them in place.
There were tenty or so overpowered drug enhanced strength quirks fighting the pull you placed on them. 
Your arm pangs now, reminding you of how it threatened to snap beneath the own weight of your quirk.
"Useless." Its laugh echoes in your ear.
Your temper flares, fist smashing the small black box that mocks you with the time before you rise. Dressing into your training clothes, sliding on your weighted vest as your bruises groan against it. You push your already consistent 1.5 times Earth's gravity pull to a consistent 2.5 for now.
Hands grab for your phone and headphones before fumbling to find your key in your amassed returning symptoms. Throwing piles of clothes, books, and homework onto other piles of  long neglected items.
Irritation mixed with a twinge of panic sets in as you look for your FOB that accesses not only the gym you are so desperate to use but also it accesses your dorm building as your dorm room key rests on a chain around your neck. Your memory works overtime as you wonder where it could have been placed.
Was it it Kirishima's room?
Or Bakugou's?
Who's room did the three of you spend the night in last?
You cannot remember, time all runs together much like a watercolor painting caught in the rain.
Colors bleed and the world dips into sun bleached greys as you think of the two of them.
Had you even texted either of them good night?
When was the last time you told them you loved them?
You pick up your phone, bloomed bruised hand winking back at you before the phone obliterates into metal and glass confetti at your feet.
"Fuck." You hiss having forgotten that you had the gravitational pull around your hands as well. Damning yourself for being so careless although you are still careless enough to walk over the shrapnel with bare feet.
It is then you find your key FOB lying in the middle of the chaotic room which you snatch greedily before locking your post nuclear bomb room away.
And with that the thoughts of ash blonde and ruby red hair.
You slink on guilty feet in the shadows of the hall, the moon your only witness as you make your way outside.
The air is cool agaisnt your heated skin, hinting that fall is almost over. That winter will be sure to rear its ugly head and harshly at that.
As if to prove a point an icy wind cuts through your skin deep into your bones, you sigh out upping the force on your body.
The gym is a short walk from the dorm, the night caressing you with soft fingers as it guides you to the thick metal door.
A worried gulp echoes back at you as your hand hovers just before the panel. FOB just out of range to be scanned.
Last time a student was on rest probation their key could only work if Sensei scanned theirs as well.
With gritted teeth you bring the key to kiss smooth plastic. For a moment you're sure it will flash red but when it beeps with a flash of glorious green you cannot help the small smile that spreads across your lips.
They must have forgotten to add those restrictions to yours, that or they didn't think you would disobey your physical therapist and other Sensei.
It doesn't take long before you're sweating.
And the more you swing the harder you make the gravitational pull on your body. The floor groans from the pressure as you push the pull towards you beyond limits for a recovering body, 3.5 times Earth's normal pull.  Sweat slides down a bruised nape and drips into now stinging eyes.
You do little to alleviate the pain or sweat that is trying so hard to blind you.
Another swing of your weighted fists has your bones creaking, muscles burning while you have half a mind to add more sand to your wrist and ankle bands.
Hell maybe even more to your vest although it presses against your sternum harshly with each step, threatening to snap a rib. You begin to lose the concentration on the areas you want to afflict as the incresed gravitational begins to spread out. The floor groans harder depsite being designed to withstand many powerful quirks.
A hairline fraction fissures through the smooth wood, attempting to snake up the cinderblock wall.
"None of this is going to change anything. You will still be..."
A heated punch hits the dummy hard, causing it to skid but you advance without letting up, snarling.
"Don't fucking say it."
Another hit to the dummy and you've got it cornered agaisnt the wall but still the voice goes on, a smile dancing along its tone as it purrs.
*"Worthless"*
You begin to jab agaisnt the dummy with enough momentum and force that the padding begins to fall away from its "face" revealing unforgiving metal beneath.
Metal that you pound into anyway.
Metal that warps for a moment from being too close to your pull, still your barrage of fists and feet cease to let up.
You follow up a punch with a round house kick increasing the force on your body subconsciously. As you rotate your vest slams heavily into your ribs and an audible crack echoes around the room. 
"Fuck!" You huff slamming your foot against the cool surface, the dummy implodes as you land on your feet.
In that moment the room pops from the pressure as you let up the force. The floor creaks, almost breathing as it returns to normal although now heavily warped. Suddenly you feel as light as a feather. As if at any moment you could float up to the ceiling like a lazy balloon only to get tangled in the harsh overhead lights.
Crimson splatters the floor from your knuckles and spit, hand feathering over your ribs. Sliding beneath dampened fabric, smoothing over already bruised skin. You're sure it will only worsen now that you count, one, two.
Three fucking cracked ribs. Your breaths come out in heavy puffs all echoing back to you as you right your self, eyes seeking out another dummy, ignoring the pain begging you to stop.
But feeling pain was better than feeling that weighted void in your chest.
As if you were a super nova that imploded, pulling everything around you into the darkened abyss.
Turning it all into hollowed nothingness.
The first sparring dummy you spy seems to look at you funny, you rear your fist but before it can make contact a growl cuts out.
"You've done enough little one."
His voice dips low, borderline pissed. It is a warning and one you must obey as the air permeates with salted caramel.
But you're in no mood to deal with Katsuki, no mood to be submissive, obedient or anything relative to feeling at all.
Regardless if it's clearly for your own good. 
All you wanted, needed, was for everything to fade.
And maybe to black.
But it doesn't instead he advances hand finding your wrist with a sharp grip, that softens only to assess. Turning your wrist this way and that with heated calculating eyes, before he rips off your weighted vest with a growl. Lifting your shirt to reveal blush black painted beneath your smooth skin.  His finger prods your ribs and when he counts them in his head he snarls. You watch his muscles twitch as he holds himself. Muscles that had grown twice their size since first year and yet you were left unchanging.
"Training is futile, you'll always be puny."
You rip your wrist free, teeth bared at an already snarling Bakugou.
"Not. Now." You misread his actions beneath the initial rage. He is concerned but all you see is punishment in his eyes 
Disappointment.
You look over Katsuki's sculpted shoulder to see Kirishima waiting at the door with glistening ruby eyes that seem to be torn.
Who does he support? How can he defuse this? 
"You're fucking hurt." The blonde bites out venom.
"I'm fucking fine. Drop it!" You shove past him slamming your shoulder into his. He wants so badly to reach for you. To yank you back to him so you can look him in his angry scarlet eyes.
"Oh so the blood on the floor means you're fine? Your cracked ribs and bruised to fuck all body means you're fine?!" His temper shows with deadly pops that dance along his skin.
You weight him and Kirishima down gently as you leave, hoping it slows them down long enough for you to return to the safety of your dorm room.
Katuski snarls as he walks with leaded feet, as if walking through mud under the influence of a muscle relaxer.  But he and Kirishima have trained with you plenty of times, not to mention they are exposed to your increased pull.
"Maybe we should give them sometime? They are upset, babe." Kirishima offers only to be met with a glowering glare. 
"I've tried listening to you, I've tried it your way and look what has happened." A snarl so low that Kirishima feels his gut twist.
"But..."
"But what?" He turns on his lover quickly, "We gave them two weeks of no contact. This is clearly a symptom we need to bisect before they kill themselves over some stupid fucking training."
Kirishima can do nothing but follow as Bakugou stalks you up the steps that you stomp.
You're seething, steam rising from your skin with each heavy breath as your vision blurs between rational thought and white hot rage.
Rage that is always so easy to give into. Especially when your only other option is immobilzing sadness. Before you know it Bakugou is barking at you from the jamb of the door while your ruby haired boyfriend presses gently against his back.
Trying to remind him that his own irate reaction could further the situation, Bakugou feels it but it is lost as you strip to change. You rip the velcro from your wrists, dropping the fifty pounds weights with a harsh thud. The floor rattles the items on your desk and even the window before you move onto the hundred pound weights on your ankles.
Grumbling as you think of your two hundred and fifty pound vest abandoned in the gym. How hard had Bakugou torn it from your strong yet sleek frame?
Would you have to take it to the support class?
You strip your shirt and then your pants as two sets of red eyes gauge different reactions. 
Rubies widen, shining with the threat of tears. While blood scarlet narrow with burning, hot, wrath.
Katsuki knew you were bruised, he knew you had those broken ribs and he knew you were set out of rehabilitation probation due to injuries but he did not know the extent of them.
And how the fuck could he? What with you locking yourself away in your room, refusing to text them, refusing to eat the meals cooked and left for you.
Refusing help as you promised you would not do.
Katsuki's warning signs of blowing do not go unnoticed, a strong hand wraps around his hip. Squeezing, hoping to convey the softness the ash blonde so desperately needs.
It works, at least as far as his quirk goes. Bakugou Katsuki  could erupt in more than one way.
"What. The. FUCK?!" He goes to take a step in but Kirishima keeps his grip tight. But that does not stop the tongue lashing you get. Bakugou takes a large slow breath, as you once taught him and snorts it out like a dragon.
"You promised you would stop doing this..." His voice, once soothing now grating your last nerve, "You fucking promised, damn it."
Kirishima gives another small squeeze before piping up.
"We are just worried about you, love. Very worried." His voice cracks at the end, causing Katsuki to look over his shoulder.
The tears well faster over dancing garnets.
From the weight of the guilt something in you finally snaps. The room blurs as you subconsciously pull the force to you, items slowly crushing beneath the weight as you lunge for the first thing you can wrap burning hands on.
Your desk chair to which your hurl while screaming
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Your hot headed boyfriend catches the chair with ease, exploding it on impact.
With an angry enough blast that the paint on the ceiling and walls peel.
Oh if Bakugou wasn't pissed at you before he was now.
And not angry over the fact that you've thrown something at him.
But over the simple fact that you were hurting in deadly silence. So badly suffering that you cannot even rationally express yourself anymore.
And more over he is pissed he has let it get this far.
The glass of your window shatters behind you, both from your exertion and his explosion pulling you into the here and now.
The room spirals as quickly as you do, suddenly forgetting how to breath. Gasping as a fish does out of water before you fall to your knees. The two men rush to you, fearing you'll lose yourself in your panic. Two sets of strong arms wrap around you both crushing you between them.
"You're okay." Kirishima soothes, "You're okay. Just breathe."
Nails bite into toned flesh though you are unsure which unfortunate mail is receiving the half blood moons as tears prick your eyes. Falling towards the Earth as much as you wish they wouldn't. Your stomach lurches, your side screams but it does not stop the racks of sobs that tremor through your body.
You come undone in the worst way before the very two men you wanted, needed to be strong in front of. There was already a detrimental gap between your development and theirs.  In every fucking aspect you could think of.
Muscle mass.
Durability.
Capability.
The list could go on.
After some time Bakugou coos to you.
"Now tell me what's wrong."
Kirishima places his head between your shoulder blades, reaching out for Bakugou's hand.
"I...I'm behind. I... I cannot even train right." Tears slip over ruddy cheeks that Katuski gently wipes away.
"Behind how?" Kirishima prompts, letting lazy circles trace your stomach.
"On my first mission I get put on recovery suspension, I worked so so so *hard* to even get that hero to agree to take me on and yet I fucked it all up!" Another frustrated sob that has you hiccuping for a moment. You watch Bakugou's face turn to stone as he tries to calm himself.
"I almost died on one of my first big missions. I sat out for a long time, this was a little bit before you transferred." Kirishima admits, "Resting and PT made me stronger."
"Hell I was behind at one point too. I couldn't even fucking pass the provisional!" Katsuki growls at the thought.
"Neither could Todoroki-kun." Kirishima adds.
"But you three...you three are strong. I'm so....weak." With that Bakugou snaps.
"You think I can run with a two hundred fifty pound weight on my chest and keep pace with Iida's jog? Do you think Kirishima could hold down twenty fucking tweaked out villians at once?" His voice is gruff but his hands are soft as he lifts your chin, purposefully making you hold his gaze as he speaks, "Answer me, little one."
"N...no." You sob, Kirishima's strong arm squeezes tigher around your middle, careful to avoid your ribs, as he peppers kisses over your blackened shoulders.
"Just because your body does not reflect mine or Eijiro's does not mean you are weak. You are strong Y/N. Real fucking strong." He kisses you softly, capturing your lips tenderly as Kirishima kisses along your throat.
"Share this weight with us." Bakugou breathes out after pulling away.
"Its not weak to cry or ask for help baby." Kirishima whispers in your ear, your eyes look over your sturdy shoulder before they fall to their hands intertwined. You notice Bakugou's knuckles turning white. Had you really made them worry this much?
"Isn't that right Suki?" Eji asks, resting his chin in your shoulder. Katsuki looks at him for a long time, this man and you have helped him more than he would ever like to admit. But if this is what brought that natural magnetism about you that attracted him in the first place he'd say it 
Fuck, if it brought that blinding smile of yours back to your kissable lips he'd scream if from the fucking roof.
"Yes." He lets out a shaky sigh, "Now please, please let us help you little one."
Searching his eyes you wonder if there will ever be a time when you will stop feeling this way.
When you will stop feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders over little to nothing at all.
When you will stop feeling that black hole that crawled into your chest weighing you down and making you weightless all at once.
When you will stop the haunting feeling of sadness that lingers on the fringes of your every thought, tainting every memory and moment with its shimmering darkness.
You wonder if this cancer, if this demon that has since crawled into your chest and devoured your heart whole will ever die.
Scarlet eyes soften as they rove over your lovely features, strong arms support you from behind and you know what the answer is.
The answer is no.
It will never die, never cease to exist, never leave you alone. It will stay with you until you lie motionless forever and even then it will crawl into your casket cradling your cooling skin.
But you will not stop fighting.
Cannot stop fighting because of the small sliver of a feeling you have now.
The love that resiliently blooms despite the pressure, despite the darkness, despite it being trampled over and fucking over.
You know that these two men are not your worth nor or they your reason for being and even if, Kamisama forbid, you three broke up, you would fight on.
Tooth and nail keeping this demon under the ball of your steel toed boot.
Because in the end, after it is all said in done you will do anything to feel this.
This hope and love that radiates from within. You sigh out a shaky sigh, releasing the tension of your shoulders and the constant pressure you've kept on yourself since that mission, your shoulders sag from relief.
"Thank you, thank you for baring this with me." You squeeze their arms respectively as you speak to them both at once, "I love you."
They speak in unison their two tones melding together and soothing over your skin like an ointment.
"I love you too." 
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k347 · 4 years
Text
Evanstan ficlet
Prompt – "Your wish is my command"
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Pairing: Chris Evans x Sebastian Stan
Word Count : 2.5 k
Warning: None. Maybe a bit of fluff
Summary: He was excited for the date. Very much so. But unexpected arrival of a girl at Chris' house changed their plans a little bit.
--------------------------
With his shoes shining extra bright, having fixed his tie & handkerchief in the coat pocket for probably the hundredth time, Sebastian comes out of the black Audi he parked in the corner spot. It's far enough from the mahogany door for hiding, but also close enough so that he can keep an eye on the place. There's still no movement though, so maybe he is still getting ready.
It’s his third date with Chris and Seb is bubbling with excitement and nerves. Yes, the previous two have gone great and he loved walking through the parks and exploring bookstores with the guy. But it still felt like two friends hanging out together rather than two potential boyfriends. So seb decided to take matters in his own hand and give tonight a more romantic cut. This is probably the first actual, proper ‘date’ they are going to have. They'll talk about each other all night and flirt from across the table, have eachother's complete an undivided attention. Reservation made at one of the finest and fanciest hotels in the city, where he plans to wine and dine Chris Evans and charm the fuck out of him. 
He really needs tonight to go just right. Exactly the way it is planned. Wants to make a good impression. Not that Chris doesn’t know him already. But Sebastian wants to come off as the good Boyfriend material instead of being the shy kid in a grown man's body who is still secretive and giggly around his crushes like he's some teenager. He was stuck in the friendzone spot for so long, it's sometimes still hard to believe he has escaped it. They have been working at the same firm for years now. But it was just last week when Seb gathered the courage to ask out the man of his dreams on a date. But more important (and still very shocking) is the fact that Chris indulged him and reciprocated the feelings instead of laughing them off. They’ve decided to take it slow and just see where it goes at the moment. ( Sebastian might have already dreamed of their wedding, pets and future babies though. He has been doing that for a couple of years. Not in a creepy way. He is just the hopeless romantic, thinks of himself as a rom-com lead sort of a person) But tonight he plans to be the best of the best. Create a whole James Bond vibe and make all that extra effort it takes to win over someone as special as Chris. He is dressed in his finest Italian suit and had his hair quaffed perfectly, wearing the best cologne and is present on the doorstep at sharp seven thirty, like he said he would be. Punctual. A good start to being a good date. He rings the doorbell and pulls out his most charming smile, for Chris. Only when the door opens, instead of the familiar handsome bearded face and stormy blue eyes, the visual of an empty drawing room greets him. He turns his head to both sides. Nope. No one. What kind of sorcery is this? Who opened the door, if he can’t see any human in front of him right now?
"Psst. Tsk tsk. Here."
A small, sweet voice reaches his ears. He looks down and finds the source behind that. It’s a little girl. Probably 4 or 5 years old. She has blonde hair and chubby cheeks, barely reaching up to his waist even though she is standing on a platform higher above him. Has a curious look on her face and is analyzing him from head to toe. He instantly smiles after looking at her. Tiny angel dressed in a onesie that has cartoons scribbled all over it. Two seconds in and she is already melting his heart. Damn you baby fever.
“And who might you be?”,He asks leaning down to reach closer to her height.
“I am Stella. Don't tell me who you are. I already know. You're the date guy. Where are your flowers?”, the little lady asks him, tone too judgemental for a five-year-old but adorable nonetheless.
“My flowers?”, He is a bit confused right now.
“Yeah. Flowers. When you go on a date, you are supposed to bring them”, she tells him impatiently and gives a disapproving look, like she’s the adult and he is the kid in this scenario.
“Yeah, Sebastian. Don’t you know simple date manners? Where are your flowers?”, Seb finally hears the voice his ears had been craving for. Chris just came to the door too. Wearing a crisp white button up and dress pants. Tie undone and hair a little messed up, indicating he had been running his hands through them frequently. The kind of thing people do when they are nervous. Chris doesn't show any other signs of distress though, has a playful tone and glint in his eyes, clearly stating that he’ going along with the joke and self imposing in the ongoing conversation.
“Sorry. The vendor was a mean guy. Didn’t give me any. And how many dates have you been on to know all this stuff?”, Seb asks the girl after shooting  Chris a full smile.
“Five”, Stella replies promptly.
“Five? Wow, sounds serious. Who’s the lucky guy?”, Sebastian can’t help but talk more to the little munchkin. She sems fearless and very confident. Unafraid of talking to strangers and making conversations, a quality Seb wishes he had in himself.
“His name is Ethan and he’s boy. Not a guy. But he does remember  to bring me flowers every time”, She tells him with her chin held high.
“Well, maybe we can have a double date next time”, he replies while giggling at the cuteness and she just shrugs like ‘it’s no big deal’.
“Stel, why don’t you go inside and keep and eye on dodger while I talk to Mr. Stan over here”, Chris pats her shoulders and Stella just nods and runs off back in the house.
“Mr. Stan? Really? I love it when you are formal Evans, but I’d prefer to be called Sebastian for the rest of the night. We are not in the office now, remember?”, he asks sheepishly.
“You gotta teach the kids good manners, right? Can’t have them all turning up as uncultured swans like you”, Chris was always that guy in the room who makes sweet jokes and tries to put every one a ease. Another reason why Sebastian loved the guy. Handsome, kind, compassionate, and witty. He truly is the whole package.
“Between the two of us right now, who is dressed more properly and has his tie done in a Windsor knot?Stop making excuses. She clearly has more sass than both of us combined. So if I were you, I’d stop worrying about teaching little grandma manners and start thinking about the wrinkles on that shirt”, Sebastian was never the one to shy away from fun banter either.
“Yeah, you’re probably right. That’s all you wanna say though? No further questions?”
“Oh, I was gonna ask if you forgot to tell me something but you clearly don’t let your guests speak without badgering them about having manners”.
Chris gives him an apologetic sort of smile and says, “I am so sorry Seb, I did try to call you but when you didn’t pick up I figured you were probably driving and on your way here anyway, so...”
“A good answer, but not one for the question I was gonna ask”
“Oh, you mean you were gonna ask me about our daughter?’, Sebastian gives him a dry chuckle. “See that’s funny because you and I never slept together”, Chris explains further, thinking he’s being hilarious right now and Seb has to prick that bubble.
“I don’t find it funny by the least, Chris. And by ‘it’, I mean the fact that we never slept together. Also please tell me you know that even if we did, it is biologically impossible for us to have a kid together”, Seb gives him an incredulous look and that makes Chris laugh out louder than before.
“Oh, pardon me. I am an investment banker, life sciences were never really my strongest subjects”, he apologizes, with a hand on his heart.
“It’s actually more of a common sense thing and honestly you are right now making me reconsider the decision of asking you out for this date.”
“That’s probably a good thing, because we are gonna have to reschedule the date anyway. Stella is my niece, Seb. My sister just dropped her off, couldn’t find a baby sitter at the last moment. So here I am. Stuck in between being the best brother and the most favored uncle at the moment. Ditching a hot guy and a fancy date to take care of a sassy 5 year old. Good Times”, Chris lets out a self depreciating laugh, still looks really apologetic and genuinely sorry which makes Seb’s heart sink even deeper than it already has after hearing the date he was so excited about is getting a rain check. He musters up a smile though.
“It is okay, Chris. Really. I understand”, he tries very hard to sound normal and not let any disappointment he is feeling pour into his voice.
“It’s not though. We decided this together and now I am just bailing on you at the last moment. Cancelling plans on such a short notice. Even though I know how much you planned for tonight and the reservation will probably get wasted. I’ll pay for it if yo-“,Chris starts with another round of apologies and Sebastian already knows the guy wouldn’t stop rambling unless he’s cut off.
“Chris. Chris, stop. It’s no big deal. The Plaza is way too overrated anyway. I guess we can have more fun by ordering a pizza and watching care-bears while waiting for it”, Sebastian suggests. Still a little hopeful that he’ll get to spend the evening with Chris anyway. Doesn’t matter if it’s at a fancy hotel or on a couch at his home. All he wants is to be close to this man.
“You..you wanna come in and spend time with us?”, Chris’ eyes are wide with surprise. He  was clearly not expecting the situation to take this turn. Sebastian instantly feels like an asshole for trying to decide everything on his own.
“I didn’t mean to sound so presumptious, but yeah...I’d like to do that. If you’ll have me?”, he asks for permissson and is half expecting for the door to slam in his face.
“Of course we’ll have you, Seb. It’s always pleasure. Come on in”, Chris moves back, inviting him inside the beautiful place and Sebastian happily accpets the offer.
“Good for you. Because if you had just refused, I was totally planning on setting a camp right in front of your door step to make you feel horribly guilty”, he says while taking off the coat and hanging it up on the rack. He is delighted to hear the sound of Chris’s laugh at his recycled, not-so-funny jab. The date might not have gone where he wanted it to, but it’s definitely going somewhere. And for now, that's good enough.
“Oh and Seb, Care bears is so 1985. Kids these days don’t really watch that y’know?”
“Well I thought CNBC and the stock market channels would be a bit much for her”
“Don’t worry. She knows exactly what she wants. A Disney fan.”
“So I see, she takes after her uncle. Please tell me it’s not Frozen though."
“No, tonight's reserved for Tangled.”
"Hmmm. A bit better. I can deal with that. She has a good choice."
“Takes after her uncle in that regard as well”, Chris winks at him before turning to go into the kitchen and Sebastian’s heart is doing backflips at that simple action.
***
They spend the rest of their night watching and singing along with the animated characters. Building pillow forts, telling Dodger to fetch the colourful balls and mimicking sesame street voices. It’s the best date Sebastian has ever had, even if it was hijacked by a kindergartener and a furball. At the dinner table, Stella tells Chris she wants to sit next to ‘Bastian’ and asks him to cut her pizza into little bites for her. Seb tries so hard to hide the tears that well up in his eyes, though he is sure, Chris caught a glimpse of them. Because right after feeling too emotional, he had gotten a squeeze at his thigh and Chris interwined  their fingers together, skin warm and cheeks flushed red. This looks and feels so much like the future Sebastian had been planning for them. He can’t tell if he manifested that by imagining it hard enough or is fate just being extra nice and kind to him since last week. Either way, he hopes this doesn’t change.
***   
Finally it’s after 10:30 and Chris reminds Stella it’s way past her bedtime, she shouldn't take advantage of him just because he caves in everytime she pouts. He takes her to the upstairs bedroom while Sebastian stays in the kitchen to do the dishes, no matter how much Chris asks him not to do that.
“Please don’t. You’ll only make me feel like a shitty host”
“Please let me, if I don’t, I’ll be the one feeling like a shitty guest”.
Just when he’s done drying off the last plate, Seb hears footsteps coming down from the stairs. He walks out of the kitchen and stands at the very end of it, waiting for Chris to come down.
“She asleep yet?”, he asks when they’re just two steps away from each other.
“Actually no. Said she wants you to go up there and kiss her goodnight too”, Chris laughs but answers with a certain seriousness that tells Seb this is not entirely a joke. Stella actually did ask for him. That realisation warms his heart even more.
“Alright, I can do that”, he starts climbing up the stairs and crosses Chris. Is stopped by a large hand softly reaching out to hold onto his elbow. ‘”You know, you don’t have to, right? She’ll go to sleep on her own in a few minutes anyway. Don’t spoil her too much”, Chris wants to make sure Seb isn’t feeling obligated to do any of this just because of him.
“I know I don’t have to. I want to though. And cuties like you Evans people deserve a little more spoiling every now and then. Let me take care of that”, he smiles and frees his arm from Chris’s grasp. Walks a few stairs further but is stopped in his track again. This time, by Chris’ deep husky voice.
“Hey, Seb?”
“Yeah?”
“After you are done with putting the little madam to sleep, I want you to come downstairs and kiss me good night too. I’ll be waiting in my own room”, Chris is flustered, pale skin turned the loveliest shade of pink at the make but his voice still holds a demanding and authorative tone that manages to make Sebastian weak in the knees.
“Sure”, he says with his own voice trembling and can’t begin to believe his lucky stars.
'Whatever you say. Your wish is my command, Christopher', Sebastian thinks.
 Actually, he might’ve just said it out loud judging by the way Chris snorts then blushes a shade darker and smiles some more standing on the other end of that staircase.
***
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kpop---scenarios · 5 years
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Dr. Hug
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Commissioned by: @panelepele 
Warning: Fluff 
Word Count: 1.5k 
A/N: I hope you enjoy!! 
As you sat on the park bench and watched people stroll by hand in hand with the ones they loved, you wondered how you ended up like this? You used to be a very physically affectionate person but in the last few years, all the failed attempts at relationships, the falling out with your parents you sort of retracted in a way and became reclusive. You stopped hanging out with your friends, at work you didn't speak or really see anyone. You sat in your office alone for 8 hours a day, and went home and spent the rest of your time alone. This wasn't how your life was supposed to be. At this point in your life, you should be happy with a boyfriend, going out with your friends and not holed up like a hermit, but now that you were at this point, you had absolutely no idea how to get out of it, or if you even could. You let out a heavy sigh as the snow began falling. You watched the people pass you happily, kids playing and laughing. You wanted that. "Pretty great sound isn't it?"A voice asks from beside you after you let out another small sigh without realizing it. "People laughing, children playing, the sound of just happiness." "Sure is." You say in a monotone voice. "You okay?" The kind stranger asks. "Yeah. No. I don't know" you say, not looking at whoever was speaking to you. Honestly, it felt nice to speak with another human being. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asks. "I probably should talk to a professional." You admit. Great, it had been so long since you had a conversation with anyone other than your cat, you were just blurting out anything. "Well, good thing I am then. Listen, take my card. Call me if you want to talk, or anything." he says. You turn your head to look at him before he leaves, pulling the card from his hand. He was extremely handsome, dark hair, kind eyes, cute glasses and a smile that could melt anyone. Looking down at the card, it read: "Dr. Kim Junmyeon; Hug specialist/therapist Hug specialist? You weren't entirely sure what that was, but you also weren't entirely sure you'd call him anyways. Not wanting to be rude you smile at him and tuck the card into your jacket pocket before he walks away. You mutter a small "thanks" before getting up and heading in the opposite direction. You probably weren't going to call. A few weeks later, you were feeling especially down. You hadn't spoken to anyone really and you could feel now the major toll the lack of human interaction was taking on you. You let out a long, drawn out groan as you rummaged through your junk drawer looking for one specific thing. Dr. Kim's card. You dialed the number on the phone, and stared at the call button, fighting with yourself internally. Did you really need to talk to someone? Yes. But did you really? Yes. You knew if you didn't press that call button now, you probably wouldn't ever and you knew that going on like this wasn't a possibility for much longer. Your hand shook as you placed the phone against your ear, your stomach twisting and turning as it rang. "Hello?" A familiar voice answered. "Uh, hi. You uh, gave me this card a few weeks ago. I was sitting on a bench in the park.." you say. "Ah yes! Good, I'm glad you called. I was hoping you would." He says. "You were?" You ask, surprised. "Of course. What can I do for you?" "I guess I'd like to book an appointment" you say, shrugging your shoulders as if he could see you. "Excellent. I have an opening in 20 minutes if you'd like to come now?" He asks. Shit. You weren't expecting it to be so soon, and you were never good at saying no to people in person or on the phone. "Sure. I'll be right there." You say, mentally cursing yourself. "Perfect. See you soon." ** As you sit in the waiting room, your fingers are fidgeting again. You weren't sure what you were going to tell him, if you were even going to say anything at all. Did you really want to tell a stranger your entire life story? "Come on in" you hear as the office door opens. You smile at Dr. Kim as you walk passed him, sitting in a chair across from his desk. He sits down, giving you a gentle smile as you look around the room. "How are you?" He asks. You take a few minutes to answer. "Good. Lonely I guess.. " you pause. "Tell me about it." He smiles. ".. so I keep to myself 100% of the time now. If my own parents can't love me, and show me any physical affection and could treat me how they did then why should anyone else." You finish. In the last 2.5 hours you had spilled everything that had ever happened to you in your life that has led you to this exact moment. "Sounds like you've had a very scarring life." He says. You nod your head. "There comes a point in your life where you need to decide what you want for yourself. Do you want to be alone for the rest of your life? Or do you want to be happy, surrounded by people who love you?" He asks. "Obviously people who love me. But how do I know if they truly do? Or if they're just using me?" You ask. "You don't. And that's okay. The truth always comes out eventually and you learn from mistakes. Not everyone is out to harm you in some way. You need to give people chances. You can't go through your life scared to do anything, or you'll never live." He tells you. And with those words, it was like something clicked inside you. He was absolutely right. All this time you were terrified of being let down or used by people but you never gave anyone the time of day to prove to you that they wouldn't. "I never thought of it that way." You admit. "See, talking to people can be beneficial." He chuckles. "Now, the last few minutes you have the option of a hug. Many people find it therapeutic and stress relieving but it's completely up to you." "So you're like a hug doctor?" You question. "I guess." He chuckles. "would you like one?" "I'm not sure. I've never been able to really initiate much physical contact." you say. Dr. Kim stood up and walked around his desk with his arms out. You stand from your chair, staring at him for a few seconds, contemplating whether or not you were ready. However, you slowly walked towards him while he slowly wrapped his arms around you. He quietly reassured you that everything would be okay as his hug tightened just a little. The contact felt so nice, something you had been needing and craving. You felt so relaxed in his arms. It felt like something you could definitely get used to. You waved goodbye after your session, promising to come back next week at the same time. After a few weeks of sessions, you felt like you had finally conquered most of your insecurities, the major one being the one to initiate any kind of contact. Finally you felt comfortable with it, but now was the hard part. Meeting people and becoming friends. That still terrified you. "Look, I don't do this but I'm going to meet some friends in a bit. Would you like to come? I think it would be good for you, and I could help you." He suggests. "Thank you Dr. Kim, but I'm not sure.." you say before he cuts you off. "I told you to call me Junmyeon, please." He laughs. "And we're friends. It's just friends going out to meet new friends." "We're friends? Can I be friends with my therapist?" You ask, cocking an eyebrow. "I wouldn't even consider you my patient. I don't even charge you, plus you can't be attracted to your patients." He says before looking completely shocked that he admitted the last part. "Attracted.. to me?" You ask. "This is so unprofessional. I'm so sorry." He says, a slight panic in his voice. "It's not unprofessional if you're not my therapist." You say shrugging your shoulders. He looks at you with eyes wide, but a smile on his face. "You've come so far." "Well, it's all thanks to you." You say smiling back. "So, will you come tonight?" He asks again. "Yes." You smile. "But you know now you can't be coming in here like a patient anymore, right?" He laughs getting up from behind his desk and walking towards the door. "Yes doctor." You chuckle, getting up. Junmyeon extends his hand, and you happily slip yours into his. You can feel the last little piece of the old you leaving your body, as you walk out with Junmyeon. You're a brand new person, thanks to Dr. Hug.
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Text
For Aliviya pt 1
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Deacon has ever been the calm one of his family. The middle child is often credited with being brash and attention-seeking as they try to outshine their older or younger siblings but that was never the case for him. Born after the twins, Benjamin and Charlotte and followed by their baby sister Rachel, Deacon was a more determined, hard working young man never content to stay on the side but also not one to rock the boat. With his parents, Lord Harrison Moore and his beautiful wife Francesca, behind him in any and all of his endeavors, he’s always been free to be the kind of man that would be the best representative of his family. The Moore family is 13th in line for the throne in England, and to some degree a favorite of the Queen, even being so long out of being actual royalty. When he was in his early 20′s, he moved out of London and into a mini-mansion in Bibury, by way of Gloucestershire. The picturesque little hideaway was his own private home, only an hour outside of London itself but it gave him a sense of peace and serenity. There, Deacon had three Irish wolfhounds named Gaius, Augustus and Brutus and for a time he had a young woman he’d been courting for some time, and while he’d been able to accept her harsh temper and selfish ways, things with Diana Ashworth were not meant to be. 
Something changed in him when he was rather spectacularly dumped by Diana after they had been together for nearly seven years. Her reasoning made little sense, she said the $2.5 million, Harry Winston ring was too small and tacky and made a scene when Deacon had tried to propose to her. Whatever her reasoning really was, he could never be sure but after the dust had settled, he’d finally realized how terrible for him she had really been. Diana was a very “particular” woman. She liked to have things a certain way, usually with servants for nearly everything she could ever need and with all the money she had, she was expecting to live in the lap of luxury inside the safe confines of one of the main areas of London, none of which fit Deacon’s small “cottage” as he called it. She didn’t like his dogs and often didn’t respect him much either, all things he came to see only after they had rather publicly broken up. Another thing Deacon disliked had been how public she liked to do anything and everything. Diana always wanted to be seen doing something, so people who still think of her...but considering her family wasn’t as well known as the Moores, it may have had more to do with her wanting to show off her newly acquired status. Whatever the reason, he was happy to have her gone but had been left in a vulnerable position now without her.
One thing he had always prided himself on was having close friends with those in his same caliber, the likes of Niall Hannigan and Peter Danvers, just to name a few. These men always had his back, or so he had thought but their idea of comforting him following his breakup was to use a work trip to the states, specifically St. Louis, to visit a sex party. The rules had been simple enough, wear a mask and never exchange names, this was meant to be a meeting of like-minded individuals looking for a night of consensual frivolity, though while it might have been Niall and Peter’s scene, it was hardly Deacon’s. Still, he had allowed himself to be drug to this horrible thing, though he’d ultimately ended up in a private room with a few bottles of wine, trying to forget where he was and exactly why he was there. Through some strike of fate, it was that night he met  Aliviya St. Michael. Ali blew him away, her kindness and compassion when he was at his worst had been more of a comfort in his heartbreak than his closest friends.Deacon never saw her full face but there was something in Aliviya’s eyes that just seemed to stick with him. 
The Monday after the party, Deacon had found himself still hungover and mortified by his unprofessional behavior, as his father would have described it. For all of his attempts to actually make himself look presentable, he just came across as disheveled and tired looking. Or so he had believed. When he’d arrived at Giovanni Incorporated, the darkening sky opened and began a steady, chilly downpour over his head. He had come into the building shaking out the collar of his wool jacket. His bodyguard and one of his best friends, Samson, had failed to get the umbrella up in time as they had been walking into the building and both men had gotten drenched. Most people would have been annoyed but Deacon had only laughed if off, running a hand through his hair and rushed to catch an elevator that was already going up. Samson and his partner, an impressive sized man named Roman, remained in the lobby of the office, waiting for Deacon to come back down again. After they left here, it was back to the Chase Park Plaza to get some much needed rest before they would all fly home. 
Deacon finished shaking out his coat once he was in the elevator and scowled as he realized the warped reflection in the chrome showed exactly how bad he looked. As he struggled to fix his tie, his eyes shifted slightly towards those beautiful eyes he had been thinking about since Saturday. Aliviya offered to fix his tie for him and as her fingers had played with the soft silk of his tie he’d lost his mind for a moment, carefully tipping her face up towards his and kissed her. It straight out of a badly written romantic comedy movie, but he had recognized her eyes, the softness of her touch on his chest and the lyrical tone to her voice, everything had been there exactly as he remembered it. For only a moment, he’d had those perfect lips on his own again before the moment ended and as any actual woman would do when a strange man kissed him, she slapped him. Deacon had been flustered but what was he supposed to say? “Hey I’m that guy you found sobbing in the private room at the sex party downtown this weekend, want to go out?” It didn’t have the greatest ring to it.
Instead, he had apologized several times for stepping out of bounds with her and told her that she had looked like someone he thought he knew. That hadn’t been the best recovery either, but as she got off on the 7th floor, Deacon hesitated but decided not to say anything. It wasn’t until he was leaving the office later that evening that the two saw one another again and he was given a second chance to talk to her. The poor girl had a busted umbrella and seemed to be at her wits end as she stood in the rain waiting for the bus. He had asked Roman to pull up alongside her and asked if she would like a ride. 
"I’m fine....fine.” 
“You don’t look fine...Lord Moore would like to offer you a ride, anywhere you want to go?” 
“Lord...Moore....No no, it’s really fine.” 
Deacon had rolled his window down and looked at the young woman for a moment, wanting to bring her inside and take her back to the hotel with him though the best he could do was offer a soft “please”. She had eventually given in, though only allowed him to take her to a rather run-down looking apartment building a few blocks away. 
“I’d like to take you out to dinner...” 
“That kiss didn’t mean anything, really...it’s fine. I’m afraid I don’t really have the time...I have class and I work early tomorrow...” 
“What about after class?” 
“You’re persistent, aren’t you?” 
“I tend to be very determined...” Deacon had started then, leaning forward in his seat as he looked over her and after a moment he reached out to take her hand. “I have met you before, Aliviya....on Saturday. You had been kind to me when you could have left me alone... I’d like to have a real chance to get to know you. When I’m not sobbing into my cheap chardonnay.” 
It had started out so innocent, dinner in a diner after she had gotten out of class for the night and over time their romance bloomed. It was still a bit like a movie and sometimes, Deacon found himself wondering how he’d managed to be so lucky as to meet someone like her. She was driven, hard working and had an odd variety of friends, all of which brought something new to her personality that Deacon may not have noticed before. Her compassion and caring nature was rivaled only by her beauty, which was as much inside as it was out. 
As it stood, Deacon and Aliviya had been dating for six months, almost entirely remotely due to his living in London and her being in St. Louis. It was difficult, only seeing her when he was able to come in and often work prefaced the trip as it was the only time he could get away from his family business. 
They had made it through some pretty murky waters as all relationships struggle but the long distance ones are extra tricky. The main issue had resolved itself only a few weeks ago, when Ali had been used as a scapegoat for a massive embezzlement scandal going on within Giovanni Incorporated and while his father and brother had wanted Deacon to break off his relationship with her, he hadn’t been able to actually ever say the words. He had been a little distant through it but when it all came down, Deacon didn’t believe Aliviya to be the type to steal money from anyone, much less a company that she bent over backwards for and who had taken a chance on her. Though the situation had worked itself out and the right people had been persecuted for the role they played, Ali had been left unsettled about the whole thing, not that anyone could blame her. As they sat together on her couch, Deacon attempting to offer comfort he finally came off with the only thing he could think of. 
“You need a vacation.” 
“Yeah...right let me just pull that out of my ass.” Her dry tone caught him off guard but he recovered, chuckling. 
“Vincent would like you to take some time off to regather yourself, after the entire situation he believes everyone needs some time to settle back in again. Not to mention...with you taking over as Mr. Lowery’s new assistant, it’s going to take some time to get everything processed.” 
“Oh...and where am I going on this vacation?” She seemed to be warming up to the idea, that was a good sign at the very least. Deacon thought for a moment before finally speaking again. 
“You had to meet my brother and father under the worst circumstances, I’d like you to meet the rest of my family, on my terms this time...you could come to England with me...I’ll introduce you to my family and if it goes well, we can go to my parent’s anniversary trip in Greece.” 
“Deacon...that’s a big trip and...your father...he doesn’t like me. He said it to my face...” 
Deacon frowned and looked at her. “I know, chicken...I know. But the last time I allowed everyone to make decisions about my life for me, I nearly married someone who had none of my best interests in mind.” Diana had been one of Charlotte’s friends and while he didn’t blame his older sister in the least for her friends’ conniving ways, everyone had thought she was going to be the best person for him. His father may have told Ali to her face that he didn’t think she was right for his son, but he’d said the opposite about someone who shattered him, it was his turn to make his own choice. 
“My friends like you..." He trailed off, knowing that wasn’t exactly a good way to start. Niall liked everyone and while Peter could be pretty discerning he wasn’t overly picky. His brother Michael was a bit more choosy but then again, Michael was...unique. Gavin Deveroux was the one that would give him his honest opinion, Deacon knew and trusted that at least. But Gavin hadn’t had a chance to meet her yet. Deacon frowned softly before starting again. 
“Ali, I want you to come with me. I want you to see where I live...and I know things have been tense but I’d like to keep you in my life. This is something important to me. I love you...and I want to show you the places that matter the most to me.” His parents’ home was one of those, but the other was his “cottage”. A place all his own that Diana had almost ruined with all of her issues with it, but it was still home and still his favorite place to be. Aliviya was quickly becoming his favorite person, so of course he’d want to take her to his favorite place, right?
There was silence for a while as she seemed to consider it and when she finally agreed, as long as she could bring Mike with her. Mike was...an odd egg, as Deacon’s aunt Sarah would have called him. The smartest man in the room at 28 years old, he could sound like the genius he was one minute and the loudest, gayest man only half a second later. It always amused Deacon how the man’s mood could fluctuate, but he was Ali’s closest friends and because of that, he was quickly becoming very important to Deacon too. Mike was a good judge of character and if the situation got too uncomfortable, he would give her an easy out of the situation. Deacon felt his heart swell like a balloon filled with too much air. He hopped off of her couch, startling one of her two cats, and captured Ali in his arms, cupping her face in his hands and kissed her deeply. 
“I love you, chicken.” She had returned his kiss deeply and leaned back only slightly. 
“I love when you call me that.” Deacon beamed. Chicken was a term of endearment his grandfather used to call his grandmother when they were together, and they had survived World War II together, he was part of the Royal Navy and she was a nurse, not a lady or a duchess, just a woman who had met him when he was hospitalized following a siege and he had fallen head over heels for her. Deacon’s grandfather, the late Lord Moore, had been an amazing man, still a Lord even though he was also a naval officer. And he had the greatest love story, Deacon had always loved hearing it. 
--
Aliviya had agreed to join Deacon after Mike’s Mensa meeting in Washington. The two of them would be flying together to New York on first class and after a day to rest they would take the Moore family private jet the rest of the way to London. After picking her up it was just a short drive out of the main city and to the family home in Oxfordshire. Aliviya was going to be meeting his mother and both of his sisters, as well as the majority of the family when she joined them on the family yacht in Greece. He had plans there, of course, but those would come into play soon enough. 
When the pair had made it to New York, they were met on the air strip by Roman, who rode with them on the plane the rest of the way. The flight itself was only going to take 7 hours, as opposed to the 12.5 it would have taken for them to make it commercially, which was part of why Deacon had insisted that they travel this way. The other was so they would have a quiet, easy trip. The jet was one of the luxury liners that featured it’s own staff, a bedroom in the back as well as a working shower and high quality entertainment system. Roman had told a very amused Deacon via text messages that Ali and Mike had wandered through the whole of the plane before choosing a place to sit and played cards with drinks and a mild meal during the flight. Of course she wouldn’t take advantage of all of the amenities but he had wished he could have heard the noise when she’d seen it. Oh well, all in due time, there was still the yacht. 
It was late when the plane arrived at the private airstrip near the family home, and Deacon was waiting on the concourse for them with flowers and a bright smile. They were going to the Moore estate for the first few days before they’d be heading to Santorini, Greece for his parents’ anniversary. Most of the family and some very high profile guests would be in attendance and while he was nervous about inviting Ali to the party, he was more looking forward to having her on his arm and introducing her as his girlfriend. It would be the first big event he had been to since his breakup with Diana, and luckily she would be nowhere in sight. As they got off the plane, he watched Roman fight off a yawn before he set about getting the bags out of the back. Samson moved to take their smaller personal items and set them in the car before opening the door. Ali had run to him, her arms going around his neck like he was catching her and holding her for an eternity, which he could have, in all honesty. Kissing her deeply, Deacon leaned back and smiled. 
“Chicken! I’m so glad you’re here finally! How was your flight?” 
“Smooth and uneventful.” Mike muttered as he stumbled down the last step and lost his balance, falling into Roman’s arms. It took him a second before he barked out a laugh. “Thanks Hulk” Deacon chuckled softly. His two bodyguards had wound up with nicknames now because of these two, and honestly now he couldn’t unsee it. Samoan Hulk was Roman, a 6.5ft monster of a Samoan man with broad, tattooed shoulders and a shaved head. He looked like someone that should be a fighter. The other was Samson, or Samoan Jesus, as Ali had referred to him. He had long hair and dark, piercing eyes. The irony of his tough guy exterior was his love for growing roses in Bibury in the house beside Deacon and spending time with his 5ft tall wife. 
“Deacon!”
Deacon beamed, holding her close for another moment or two before letting her go. “Shall we head to the house?” He looked back at Mike and smiled at him though only got a halfhearted smile back. 
“Are you alright?” 
“Hmm? Oh...yeah. Sorry...I’m fine. It’s good to see you again, Deacon. I’m just really tried.” And distracted, Deacon thought but he didn’t say anything. The other man moved over and got a hug from him as well before letting him go and got into the car. Ali had told him that Mike was going through some things, so this listless behavior was probably because of that. After they were settled into the car, he turned Ali’s face towards his and kissed her gently, teasing her mouth softly as he did so. 
“Since you’ve had such a long couple of days, my parents thought breakfast together might be the better way to go, rather than bombarding you as soon as you arrived. Is that alright?”  
“I like that idea much better, I can’t wait to meet your mom. Roman was telling us about everyone on the plane so we’d be more prepared...though I’m still really nervous. After everything what if...” 
Deacon stopped her with a soft shake of his head. “Nothing that happened had anything to do with you, chicken. It’s just something that happened while you were there. I’ve reassured them, they’re looking forward to getting to meet you finally.” 
“Lord Moore has been talking about you non-stop every time he comes home, at this point the Lady Moore may know you better than you know yourself” Samson had quipped from the driver’s seat ahead of them before exchanging a look with Roman before both men laughed. 
“It’s a short drive to the house....Oh... Lord Moore? Em and I brought up the boys, so they’re waiting for you too.” 
“Oh god.” Deacon’s dogs were about 3ft tall and weighed about 175lbs each, and whenever they saw him both Augustus and Brutus would rush him, tackling him to the ground. When he was with Diana, he’d had three of the wolfhounds, but Gaius was unfortunately poisoned and died only a month before the proposal incident. Deacon still missed the old gray beast but his two brothers more than made up for his lack of presence. He laughed lightly and looked at Ali. 
“They’re going to pounce you.” 
Ali laid her head on his shoulder when he settled back in the seat, she wasn’t asleep but she had her eyes closed. Deacon started playing with her hair and did so, absently as they drove on in silence. The ride itself wasn’t much to really see this time of the night, he figured while they were in the area he would play tour guide for a few days and take them to the Tower of London or one of the museums or something. While he wanted Ali to stay here with him forever he wasn’t sure how long she was going to want to stay in England, especially since her entire life was in St. Louis. 
When they had arrived at the house, Mike leaned forward and lightly poked Ali’s nose like it was a button and motioned to the great gates that lead up the drive. “We’re entering Downton Abbey.” He mused and Deacon laughed, lightly rubbing on her back before pointing out the window. 
“The drive goes all the way up and circles around a fountain in the middle of the courtyard. It’s lit up right now but you’ll really get to see it in the morning. The manor’s courtyards are a tourist attraction in their own right.” 
“Hmm...I can’t wait to see it.” 
Deacon smiled and kissed the top of her head before the car slowed to a stop and Roman got out to open the door for her, while Samson opened up Deacon’s side for him and Mike. Just as he had predicted, the front doors were open already and the boys were sitting on the steps, waiting to be called. They looked like mutts, but they were actually thoroughbreds. Taking a stance much like that of someone playing rugby, Deacon planted his feet and called out to the dogs. Just as he had said they both rushed down the stairs and tackled him to the ground licking him and nuzzling their heads into him like they hadn’t seen him in weeks, even though it had only been a couple of days. Laughing, Deacon managed to push them off after a minute or two and took Samson’s offered hand to get off the ground. For their part, Augustus and Brutus moved and sat down like perfect gentlemen as Deacon held his hand out for Ali to take, and introduced her. Brutus moved to pounce on her but Deacon held his hand up, stopping him without even a word. Instead they approached her slowly, sniffing her hand and then Augustus licked it before walking away. 
“Bloody hell I thought they were going to rush you too.” Deacon laughed and made another hand gesture at the boys, they both walked back up the stairs again, taking their place beside the front door and waiting patiently. 
“Those aren’t dogs, those are furry horses.” Ali laughed, wiping the drool onto her pants before picking up her purse from inside the car. 
“I know...they can be quite a handful but I love them. Come on...let’s get everyone settled.” 
As they entered the grand foyer of the manor, the lights were already on and the whole house had a soft glow to it. Unlike a lot of the bigger mansions that have a cold feeling to them, this one actually felt like the family had all lived in it and there was a residual warmth left from them. In his father’s office, there was a pillar that marked the growth of each of the Moore children and now their little niece too. Charlotte and her daughter were coming in tomorrow, and Benjamin and his teenage daughter Tess should already be settled in. As they came in, Deacon smiled up at a beautiful, older woman with whitish blond hair and bright eyes. 
“Aliviya St. Michael and Mike Tomlin, I’d like to introduce you to the Lady Francesca Moore. Mom I thought you weren’t going to do this until tomorrow?” 
“Nonsense, I wanted to be the one to welcome this young lady to our home, Deacon...” 
“Ah...well....at least Charlotte can still surprise us with the Princess. Is father in his study?” 
“Of course he is, he’ll be out in a moment.” No doubt his father had told her about Ali when he’d met her the first time, so it wasn’t much of a surprise that they were both here and ready to introduce themselves properly. Francesca looked comfortable in a loose fit gray dress and a black shawl around her shoulders. Her hair was pulled back and tucked around a little. She looked to Deacon as though she had been reading on his father’s couch. Behind them, Samson and Roman moved silently up the stairs to take Ali and Mike’s suitcases up to their designated rooms. Ali had a room of her own, of course, but Deacon had already told Samson to take her suitcase to his room, since it wasn’t likely she’d be spending much time apart from him. Mike’s room actually overlooked the back part of the house and his mother’s garden, the lighting made it look beautiful of course but tomorrow it was going to be a truly stunning view. Deacon shifted a little uncomfortably before his mother took notice and only smiled at her son, with a soft, understanding look. He had been hoping to save the uncomfortable introductions for later, not having to do them right as they arrived.
“Alright...well Deacon’s giving me that look...I’ll let you all get settled and see you for breakfast outside in the gardens.” Deacon moved and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek before she left them to undoubtedly go check in on her husband in is study. Letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, Deacon laughed uncomfortably. 
“Sorry about that...Umm...Mike your room is upstairs and the last room on the left. It’s got its own bathroom so you won’t have to worry about running into anyone. Chicken...I’ll show you to our room?” 
“Our room?” Ali’s eyes twinkled and Deacon couldn’t help but smile, the light of it reaching into his eyes and dancing. 
“Well you do have one of your own near Mike’s but...I thought you’d want to stay with me” 
“Uh-huh. I want a real tour tomorrow though, this house is huge.” 
“And very easy to get lost in” Came Harrison’s cool voice from the other side of the main hallway. He smiled and moved towards them, all but ignoring his son’s uncomfortable stance. “Aliviya, it’s good to see you again. You’ll forgive me for that unfortunate business the last time? I’m afraid I was a little more rude to you than I should have been.” 
Ali, for all her grace under fire looked somewhat relieved to have gotten an actual apology out of his father. Harrison was wearing a soft pair of black pants and a gray jumper that made him look less like a lord at the moment and more like an older gentleman getting ready for bed.Harrison’s eyes fell on Mike as he shifted to the side and extended his hand to the other man. Mike took it and gave him a firm handshake, making his introduction simple before the Lord’s attention went back to Ali. 
“You two look absolutely bushed, I’ll let you get settled and see everyone in the morning. Deacon...” Harrison nodded his head towards his son before heading back in the direction of his and his wife’s room. After hearing the door click shut Deacon’s eyes widened before he shook his head. 
“Ah...well that was uncomfortable.” 
“Parents are the same in any country it seems...” Mike moved and kissed Ali’s cheek before telling them goodnight and heading upstairs to his room. Deacon watched him pause for a moment before turning his head to the right and headed in that direction. Deacon chuckled before holding his hand out to Ali. 
“Shall we, love?” 
Deacon’s room was one of the larger ones on the second floor to the left of the stairs. It had actually been his brother’s room first, before he’d moved into it some time after Ben had left for college. The windows faced the front of the house and had heavy, blackout curtains framing both sides in a soft green fabric. The rest of the room looked like a small apartment, and had a small sitting area to one side beside the walk-in and around closet. Behind the couch was Deacon’s cherry wood sleigh bed with a warm looking comforter made up perfectly with several of the decorative pillows positioned to hide the king sized pillows. At the foot of the bed was an extra soft wool knitted blanket from Killian McLeod's wife. She used to make the blankets before she had gotten too sick, though they had a few of them scattered around the house. To the right of the entrance was another door that lead into a relatively large bathroom with an enclosed closet for towels to one side and a hamper hidden behind a small curtained opening under the sink, set within the counter space. Everything on the counter had it’s own special place, and it looked like it had never been touched, even though he had actually stayed here the last few days. Further into the bathroom was a tiled, waterfall style shower to one side, a simple sink and a small half wall that separated the toilet from the rest of the room, seemingly hiding it.
Bringing Ali into the room, he took her purse from her and set it on his couch, moving over to turn on the fireplace. As it came to life, the light of the faux flames danced in the dim lit room, casting shadows this way and that. There were bookshelves built into the wall all along the sides of the fireplace and above it, filled with a lot of Deacon’s favorite books. Moving back over to her, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her deeply, nuzzling her softly. 
“I have missed you, chicken.” Deacon purred against her lips. He knew the next few days were going to be a little tough to get through, between his friends coming in from parts unknown to the various friends and family that would be introducing themselves to Ali...it was going to be a little crazy. But right now was just for them. Brushing her hair over her shoulder, Deacon moved his lips down around her neck and nipped at her playfully, teasing her skin until he felt the little goose pimples rising up on her. As he leaned back and looked into her eyes, Deacon smiled and suddenly scooped Ali up in his arms, carrying her over to the bed and laid her down on one side of it, climbing onto the bed with her, kissing his way down her body. They hadn’t had much of a chance to be together for some time and he wasn’t sure how much time alone they were going to have in the next few days. 
“Deacon...I’ve been traveling all day...I....” For every inch Deacon moved her shirt he kissed around the skin, teasing her stomach and up her chest, finally removing the shirt and tossing it over the foot board and onto the floor revealing her bra beneath. 
“Do you want me to stop?” He rested his chin on her stomach for a moment, looking up at her with a playful, almost hungry look.
“N-no...” Deacon smiled and continued to work his way along her body, moving his hands underneath her and carefully unhooked her bra without a second glance or even much of a pause. Slipping it off her shoulders, he looked down at her body for a moment and smiled, beginning to work down this time, taking extra care to give each breast a bit of time of its own, lightly flicking his tongue over each of her nipples before moving away from it. He only wanted to tease her right now, though he watched how her body reacted to him and it seemed to only fuel his movements. His fingers danced along her hips before he sat up slowly on her and began unbuttoning his shirt, pulling it from his trousers though he didn’t take it all the way off just yet, instead left the baby blue cotton hanging open as he shifted his hips just enough to begin pushing Ali’s pants down, repeating his delicate kisses.
Before he got too much further, Deacon slipped off of her and carefully pulled her pants and panties down at the same time, tossing them to the side before taking a moment to just look over Ali’s body on the bed. He knew she was tired and sex was probably the furthest thing from her mind right now but having her finally here in his country, his house, his bed, there was something about it all that had driven him nearly to the point of no return as it was. Unbuttoning his pants, Deacon left them open as he took off his shirt and added it to the scattered bits of clothing on the floor and opened up a drawer in his bedside table. Of course, his brother had bought condoms recently. 
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