#how I got ptsd

[cookieandbread]

I absolutely love the Melida/Daan storyline in the Jedi Apprentice book serie (I think it's this one? I don't remember) because of how much sense it gives to Obi-Wan's character, particularly in Clone Wars.

And I'm obviously so sad it's legends because it deserves to be canon so much and I know there's little chance for it to actually make its way back to canon

But do you know what would be super cool to see IF it does?

Obi-Wan telling Ahsoka (and Anakin, but mainly Ahsoka) about it during the Clone Wars. Kind of like "How I met your mother" but trauma version.

[poppy5991]

Just like your regular dreams and nightmares, PTSD nightmares are not going to be a straightforward recollection of events. It’s going to be fragments of what your brain is trying to process while you’re asleep.

[aethersea]

it is funny though how kids' shows are so so so careful about death, no one's ever killed except MAYYYYBE the big bad, all those random side characters are fine, here have a quick shot of them before we leave just so you know they really did survive that 50-foot drop into a stormy sea,

and meanwhile kids' books nearly all agree that it's not an adventure until it has a body count.

[bakudekublogblog]

talking to normal people about mha is always so enlightening because someone told me they didn't like season six and i was like???? THE BIBLE??????? YOU DONT LIKE THE BIBLE??? BAKUGOU KATSUKI RISING?? THE APOLOGY??? THE CHASING AFTER HIM TO FIGHT SHIGARAKI, THE REVEAL KATSUKI HAS BEEN WORRIED ABOUT IZUKU, IZUKU'S FERAL RAGE WHEN KATSUKI IS STABBED, KATSUKI BEING THE ONE TO FIND IZUKU AND THEN THE ONE TO BRING HIM HOME??? YOU DONT ENJOY THE SACRED TEXTS?? and then i'm like oh right not everyone is a fujoshi high on that sweet, sweet bkdk yaoi

[butmakeitgayblog]

What timeline have we jumped to, my god

[delopsia]

What it feels like to date Lewis Pullman's characters, but it's described using specific experiences.

Ingredients: ✰ Robert "Bob" Floyd, Rhett Abbott, Miles Miller, Major Major, and Harrison Knott. Warning: Contains mentions of food and vague PTSD references.

Robert "Bob" Floyd: Stuttered hello's and gazes trained on the floor. Sneaking out of social events in favor of quiet walks on the beach that end in being chased by an upset crustacean. The strum of a guitar as he plays you your favorite song. Shy smiles and binging movies. Sitting on opposite ends of the couch and gradually scooting closer until someone works up the nerve to rest their head on the others shoulder. Afternoon naps together and dramatic yawns until the other gets the idea.

Foggy glasses, niche fandom references, and inside jokes only you understand. Matching necklaces and otter plushes. Date nights to aquariums and zoos and sanctuaries. Borderline swearing and giggling at his poorly swapped words because he's afraid to say 'fuck'. Sharing embarrassing stories to cheer each other up. Always walking hand in hand. Kisses on cheeks and bear hugs that nearly swallow you whole.

Rhett Abbott: Wayward glances from across the bar and taking his hat off when he introduces himself to you. Spurs jingling as he walks you to his truck and him running ahead to hold the door for you. Watching him search for you in the crowd. Adrenaline-filled kisses that knock you off your feet. Greedily squeezing his biceps and hoping he doesn't catch onto you. Splitting gas station snacks and stopping by to see you while he's running errands. Kissing his bruised knuckles after a bar fight.

Putting his hat on your head and watching the way his eyes darken. Late-night drives and horseback rides across the ranch. Late-night conversations in the bed of his truck. A scruffy cheek squishing against yours to make you laugh. Dancing in the light of his headlights. Staying up late to listen to the thunderstorm rage on. Sleeping on each other's chests and stories about old scars. Matching necklaces and cowboy hats.

Miles Miller: Batting his eyelashes at you and forgetting to say hello. Glances out of corners of eyes and panicking when your eyes meet. Covering his ears during holiday fireworks and shaky hugs after an unexpected loud noise. Matching rings when you start dating. Carnival dates, stealing bites of each other's snacks, and buying a plushie from the store because neither of you could win the games. Sharing books and cozy sweaters. Rubbing your noses together when even kisses feel like too much for him to handle.

Pressing cold feet against each other in bed and giggling when the other yelps. Dissolving into tears over kisses against scars and bearing painful insecurities, all for the other to see. Sucking on butterscotch and seeing who can blow the biggest bubblegum bubble. Open-mouthed kisses across skin and whispering the things you love about each other. Snuggling him because he drank a milkshake, knowing his tummy would get upset later.

Major Major: Lingering glances at each other's lips, heads gravitating closer and closer, too shy to make the first move. Brushes of his hand against yours while you walk together. Knick knacks left on the dash of your car and in the crevices of your home, made just for you. Blurted Iloveyou's and frantic text messages that ask you on a date and the immediate panic that ensues. Him always seeking permission before touching you. Unprovoked compliments and nearly fleeing the room after.

Wide-eyed kisses. Shaky apologies for the hands that have landed on your waist. Matching sock collections and joining him on the floor when he's too nervous to get in bed with you. A handmade ship in a bottle with two little stick-men that resemble you and him. Fingers walking across naked skin. Fighting each other with action figures and fake swords. Toying with your fingers and his jaw dropping every time he lays eyes on you.

Harrison Knott: Being late to your destination and running right smack into each other. Frantic apologies after telling a really bad joke. Sand in your clothes and owning too many sandals to count. Custom Spotify playlists, homemade cassette mix tapes, and collecting CDs at yard sales. Taking polaroids of each other on dates and swearing at the seagulls who snatch your food from your hands. Shameless matching outfits.

Sitting in his lap at a bonfire and feeling his eyes rake over your frame the entire time. Sticking bows from gifts on each other. Deep sea fishing and getting seasick midway through. Him rolling on top of you to keep you from getting up in the morning. Late night skinny dipping and falling into the backseat. Big hands drawing you in for kisses when the whole world is watching.

[sincerely-sofie]

*gently places angsty Twig comic in your hands*

There comes a point in healing, sometimes, where you must grieve the child you never got to be, and bury her along with the desperate hope of one day somehow becoming her.

It isn’t fair. And it never will be.

But you grieve the child, still.

[basuralindo]

So I was asked to expand on the whole Jamil having a trauma response to Leona comment on my last post, aaand here's that.

(This pertains to chapter 6 btw, so spoiler warning)

(also it's very much sleep deprived rambling so sorry if it's, well, rambly)

First off, I'm operating under the assumption that he has cPTSD. Jamil has clearly been programmed since birth to always obey the Asims and act in their best interests, even at the expense of his own life. This is a boy who has been forced to eat poison to protect them and their assets, who's family was forced to let that happen, and who has been so desperate his entire life to escape that situation that he was willing to resort to murder and doom not just himself but his whole family which he is implied to care about. Which means if simply quitting was an option, he would have done so. So, you kinda have to infer that he and his family don't have a choice in this role, and there are severe enough consequences for disobedience that fucking up or refusing is a worse option than risking a slow painful death every time Kalim wants to eat something. And this is all stuff that's been depicted blatantly in canon, not even touching on the assumptions that could be made from there.

So that's the position Jamil is in. That is a traumatic situation. This is a guy who has been groomed for servitude and obedience since he was old enough to talk. These kinds of circumstances absolutely can lead someone to be triggered into subservience or other trained behaviors. That's just, a thing with trauma.

Now, with the Asims being one of if not THE most powerful merchant families in their country, one of the expectations of Jamil as their servant and especially as the attendant to their heir is to ensure good relationships with other rich and powerful families, especially royalty. This was shown in the fireworks event, where he states that as a prince, if Malleus came to any harm under his watch while a guest of the Asims, it could start an international conflict. These are incredibly high stakes, a misstep on Jamil's part could ruin the Asim family and potentially even endanger his country, and it's pretty strongly implied that he and his family would take the blame and suffer the consequences. Now, much like how wearing a company logo while at work makes your actions representative of your employer, Jamil serving the Asims 24/7 (and especially as the chaperone of their heir) means that he is representing their family At All Times. This is why he is forced to defer to Kalim in all aspects of life even outside of their country, part of his job is to make his employers look good, and there are consequences for not doing so. This means that anyone of high enough status to be significant to the Asims is someone who Jamil is required to be subordinate to.

Then, enter Leona. As a wealthy prince, he would be someone who Jamil is expected maintain good relations with at any cost to himself. With his position Leona could literally destroy Jamil's (and probably his family's) entire life with a single complaint to the Asims about his conduct. Like, he could do that with no actual cause just for fun, because the Asims are 100% going to take the side of a prince over an expendable servant. This means that one misstep or any backtalk from Jamil puts him at massive risk, it is entirely up to Leona whether or not he suffers for any of these actions, and while the audience knows Leona's personal morals would prevent him from actually doing that, Jamil does not.

THEREFORE (sorry this ended up so long), once Jamil was in a life threatening situation with Leona, it seems likely that all this programming and fear would manifest in desperately trying to protect him and follow orders the way he's always done for Kalim. To me, the way he snapped into bodyguard mode, and immediately complied with every one of Leona's bitchy commands (like giving him a hair ornament to throw away without question, and barely saying anything about it after), even while being humiliated and knowing he was less trained in magic, just comes off more like a trigger response than anything. Especially because I can't imagine that situation not being triggering, and I can't imagine him knowing any other way to respond.

[alexjcrowley]

Btw I can't believe all the Hamilton edits with Hamilton the musical, especially to Wait for it but when they're done with Carlos

Like girl be fr if someone is his Burr that's not Carlos that's Nico fucking Rosberg, he owned that role

Carlos and Lewis have had beef for a month because Vasseur gave Lewis Carlos's job, you want bitter soul crushing rivalry that's been destroying another guy's life step by step, that's been booked by Britney since day one

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw : ptsd / trauma / ]

Leo, post-invasion, finally well enough to sit down with his entire extended family for a good ol’ Jupiter Jim marathon…only to shut down near immediately when the first movie begins. He goes quiet and still at the sight of open space, and it’s exactly reminiscent of how he behaved in the Prison Dimension. So very, very silent.

He can’t bring himself to watch those movies anymore.

[birdietrait]

in their (slightly upgraded) natural habitat !

i forgot to show their traits oops...here u go <3

[20001541]

it's so disappointing that we didn't get more of tomura and afo interacting after that huge revelation about afo being involved in his life from the very beginning. he had his dad giggling and kicking his feet. he even encouraged him to have another child. tomura thought afo finding him that day on the street was a coincidence, but it wasn't. none of it was, he was even given the quirk that killed his family then told he wanted every single one of his family members to die and that was born twisted for years after. he even thanked afo for making him for who he is today in previous chapters!

I wanted there to be an actual encounter between them where he is distraught that the man who he thought was his savior has been planning his downfall since before he was even born. I wanted more of afo telling him to his face how he has meant nothing to him and his usefulness begins and ends at him being a possible vessel for himself, and how he's never had any control over his life. then have tenko argue back against his words. to finally stand up to everything afo has tried to ingrain in him. to cast aside the name of tomura shigaraki which was the name he gave him and tell afo how he doesn't need him anymore. that he finally sees him for the pathetic man he truly is. I want to see afo's reaction to losing control over him permanently. izuku would also be helping him through this encounter as well, might write a fic about it tbh.

oh well best I can hope for now is tenko discussing his feelings about what was revealed in 419, that is if he survives. I have a feeling something will happen that will bring him back in some way based on how only the name tomura shigaraki was said but not tenko which is an important distinction to make. a tomura dies, tenko lives situation if you will.

[moonilit]

Tiny Jote doodles, you can tell me 6 yo Jote ‘nursed’ a comatose Joshua all you want SE that what SHE thought she was doing because she was a kid

[givehimthemedicine]

I've actually gone from scared Max won't be okay to scared Max will be TOO okay

like if they make Max waking up some kind of "😏 what are you doing here, stalker" moment I'm not gonna handle that well either

don't get me wrong, I'll lose my mind if she doesn't end up okay, but first I want that girl catatonic for a while. I want some permanent ability/mobility consequences. I want bigtime ptsd. I want this trauma acknowledged. you feel me. you CANNOT just be okay after that

[lornasaurusrex]

I miss you Lorna… this is such a mess

This is an old message and I had several other similar messages, but I miss you guys and hope you’re all doing well!! I’m sorry to see nothing has improved.

I saw I was kindly mentioned by @awesomefringey and some other commenters the other day, so just wanted to log in and say hello and log back out for a few more months. 💕

Sending so so much love to all of you. Take care of yourselves and each other, please.

The video is still on YT.

[heldenherzchen]

i see you there; don't know where you come from. unaware the stare from someone - don't appear to care that i saw you. turn around & you're walking toward me. i'm breaking down & you're breathing slowly. we're coming close & then even closer. we bring it in - but we go no further. we're separate: two ghosts in one mirror - no nearer. you're coming to, but you're slow in waking. you start to shake, you still haven't spoken; what happened? they're coming back & you just dont know when. you want to cry but there's nothing coming. they're gonna push until you give in or say when. it all began with the man and country. every plan turns another century around again; another nation has fallen. maybe god can be on both sides of the gun; never understood why. some of us never get it so good, so good. some of this was here before us - all of this will go after us. it never stops until we give in. — "say when" (the fray)